#this is NOT moceit please do not tag it as such

[why-not-a-tickle-blog]

My Writing Masterpost

Updated as of 9/12/2024

To check if there are any newer fics since this has been updated, look for the tag #my fic

You can also read many of these on AO3

My Multi-chapter Fics:

We Could Try? 1, 2, 3, 

Patton had found out. He’d found out not only that Virgil was ticklish, and not only that he actually liked it, but also that he’d never had a real tickle session.

Sequels: I do not understand, The Price of Cookies

Grumpy, Sorry

Virgil is grumpy and gets tickled by Patton, and tickles him back a bit. Later, Patton gets him back even more.

Tickle Week: Sunday, the idea, Monday, Dee and Logan, Tuesday, Patton and Roman, Wednesday, Roman and Virgil, 

“Well, seeing as there are six of us, I propose a tickle week. We’ll leave Sunday off, but every other day we’ll put names in a hat and draw one, and whoever’s name is drawn becomes a tickle toy for the whole day.”

The Tickle House:

Virgil’s New Job,

At the End of a Bad Day

Scribbling

There’s a place called the tickle house, where you can pay to tickle or be tickled. Virgil and Janus work there, and the others often visit.

Tickletober 2020:

One: Unusual Spot

Two: Feathers

Three: Stocks

Four: Scribbling

Five: Drawn on

Six: Kiss

Seven: Unusual Tool

Eight: Interrogation

Nine: Ganged Up On

Twenty-Three: Asking For It

My One-shots:

Roman’s Idea is Best

Written with @barelyticklishlee: Roman has a fantastic idea for Thomas’s date. Virgil doesn’t agree, at least at first.

When Patton gets into a Ler mood at the same time as Virgil is in a Lee Mood. 

Pretty self-explanatory

A bit of something soft

Patton’s having a hard day, so Virgil cuddles and tickles him

Cheating at Games is Ill-Advised

Virgil cheats at a tickling game with Logan, and gets very tickled.

Pay Attention

Virgil can’t pay attention to the conversation with Roman and Patton tickling him.

Beware of Running Away from Lers

Virgil tries to run away from Roman

Arms Up

Virgil tickles Roman’s armpits

Belly

Patton feels fat, but Roman still loves him just as much, and wants him to feel so much better.

When Patton has a Hard Day

Patton is feeling down, but tickling Virgil might help him feel better~

Unnamed Fic

Logan gets soft back tickles from Roman.

The Sweetest Lee

Tickling a sweet little lee is just the best thing ever~

It feels better when you just let it happen ;)

Cuddly tickles for Roman.

Remus Catches a Lee

Virgil's been caught in a trap and gets tickled to pieces.

Virgil’s Voice

Virgil wants tickles, but can't voice his requests, so Roman helps him out, getting him all the tickles he wants.

Dwindling Creativity

Roman shrinks down as Thomas's creativity is used up. Janus helps to distract him from his work.

Sacrifice

Patton is gonna tickle someone. If not a sacrifice, then everyone~

Requests:

Roman wants to join

Lee Roman

14 and 25 with Lee Deceit and Let Patton please?

No regrets, with Roman and Remus maybe?

oh requests?? hmm maybe either 22 or 25 w lee virgil and any ler you like?

14 with LerRoman and LeeLogan???

w/ pat ro and lo testing which of virgil's spots is the worst

Tell that to the tickle monster: Ler Patton and Lee Virgil.

16 Any pairing u think fits!!!! 

I know something sweeter than cookies: same pairing, Ler Patton and Lee Virgil.

maybe 29 with ler!patton and lee!logan? 

4 with Lee Roman and Ler Deceit? 

11 with Ler Logan and Lee Roman please 

22 with Lee Logan and Let Remus please? 

19 Lee Deceit and Ler Virgil and Remus please? 

Do you think you could do 3 with a lee Deceit?

9, with Roceit? :3 

16 and 7 with Lee Deceit and Ler Patton please 

Shy Lee Janus being forced to ask for tickles from Ler Logan?

Logan noticing Virgil having a bad day and and just having him lay down and giving him a pillow to giggle and blush into while he traces Virgil's back with his fingers or fluffy brushes to help him relax❤

Moceit cheer up tickles? 😃 (Lee Patton and Ler Janus, if you would)

oh prompts! maybe lee Patton ler roman with some sort of challenge? (Don't move, laugh, smile, whatever)

What about a lee!Virgil? (ler!your choice. Preferably a twin.) Someone comes in to wake him up from a nap, or something, with pokes. Virgil is still half asleep at this point, so he has no filter.

Lee Roman denying his in a Lee mood but Janus is behind him smirking because he knows when someone lies?

So, peharps a bit of Lee!Janus and Ler!Roman, please? Maybe Janus is monopolizing Roman's bed because it's soft and warm and g e t o f f XDD.

Lee!virgil ler!roman? That’s my everything lol

What about Lee Virgil being pranked with tickles by Remus but once Remus stops he shyly asks for more? Please and thank you!

If you're still taking requests maybe lee Janus being overly grumpy and getting cheer up tickles from Logan?

How about Remus acting as annoying little brothers do, and Roman getting back at him with some extra teasey tickles

may I request lee Logan and ler Patton where Pat's just gushing over how cute Lo is while tickling him?

Can please do some Lee janus and ler patton? Like Janus is being suspicious, and Patton is trying to figuring out what he is doing.

For the prompts thing how about Patton ticking Logan to make him take a break from working? 

Ler Logan and Lee Remus, if you are up for it. Remus starts to bother Logan while he is working and Logan gets payback with tickles, knowing secretly that Remus wanted this to happen. ???

Pre-Accepting Anxiety Virgil walks in to the common room to see the Light Sides having a tickle fight, cue big Lee MoodTM. So now he's awkwardly trying to keep up his bad guy persona while desperately trying to figure out how to tell them that he NEEDS to be WRECKED!

Prompts! How about Patton tickling Logan to make him take a break from working I can never get enough of that! 😂

Lee!Patton and Ler!Logan (or whoever you wish!) Patton has always been the mind palace tickle monster and after a week of his evil ler moods and tickle attacks Logan turns the tables and gets revenge tickles?

Ok so... after Accepting Anxiety, Virgil is a little shaken from his name reveal. He sorta hides away in his room because he’s embarrassed, until Roman comes in to check on him and cheer him up and make him feel welcome with tickles 🥺

Logan maybe gets hurt, (trips or bumps against something) and Patton decides to tend to him, making sure he's not injured badly, but it turns out Logan is ticklish where Patton is examining

Ler Patton Lee Deceit - Patton accidentally brushes by Deceits scales and it sets Deceit into a fit of giggles. So Patton gets curious and starts to poke and stroke the patches of scales that are all over Deceits body. And Deceit secretly not so secretly enjoys this

Maybe some cheer up tickles with Logicality where both were watching a show and a tickle scene appeared and person B is like "Oh, this is a signal. That is how I should cheer up my friend."?

How about lee!janus and ler!virgil where Virgil remembers Janus being super ticklish back when he lived with the dark sides still and decides to see if he's still that ticklish.

Could you do a college AU where the core 4 are in their university’s theatre department? Like... they all are walking back to the dorms and they find out Roman is extremely ticklish and tickle and tease him the whole way back??

How about lee Logan hiding his lee mood from Virgil?

lee!Virgil and ler Patton, Logan, and Roman. Virgil has a huge lee mood and is way to shy to ask to be tickled so he drop little hints to try and get tickles( more like Virgil being an a** and a bratty little sh*t). The sides act like they don’t know what he want, but do. So they force him to ask

anything lee logan? I would DIE for lee logan

Okay I’m bored and I need lee!Virgil and lers Janus and Remus

Anything lee Logan would be delightful! Thank you!

I was wondering if you could do something where Virgil gets stuck somewhere and the twins find him and team up to take advantage of the situation? Thank you in advance, your work is amazing!

I would like to make a trade. I will give you a boop for lee!Logan ler!Remus. :D

Janus with hypersensitive scales is the bestttt so how about a rude snake getting tickled to tears by an unforgiving Ler Logan? Maybe using a new tool that makes Janus scream?

[lil-toastie-boi]

Space Heater

Fandom: Sander Sides Pairing: Moceit (Janus/Patton) Tags: Fluff, Cuddling, Cold-blooded Janus, Ficlet Summary: Janus can't fall asleep one night due to being freezing from being cold-blooded, and decides to go to his boyfriend Patton for some warm snuggles

Janus buried himself further in his nest of soft weighted blankets, shivering despite how warm he should be. After an hour and a half of futile attempts to feel warm, he reluctantly emerged from his blanket fortress and sat up, shivering. He hugged himself and rubbed his arms trying in vain to warm himself.

He could go to his boyfriend, Patton, but he was almost against it. He could handle a little cold, right? No, no he couldn't, despite how much he tried telling himself he could. He sighed and stood, leaving his room and heading down the hall to Patton's room.

Standing outside Patton's door, Janus hesitated before tentatively knocking, hoping not to disturb Patton's rest. After a few moments and some shuffling behind the door, it opened, revealing Patton looking adorable yet tired in his gray cat onesie. “Oh, hey pumpkin, did you need something?” Patton smiled warmly, stepping aside in case his partner wanted to come inside his room. Janus smiled back tiredly at Patton, taking the offer and walking in.

“Yes, I need my space heater of a boyfriend” He walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it, the springs creaking under his weight. Patton giggled as he shut the door “Is it too cold?” he asked as he sat next to Janus, who nodded. “Way too cold.” “Well good thing you have me!” Patton smiled and wrapped his arms around Janus, pulling the both of them down so they were laying in bed.

Patton took a moment to pull his incredibly soft blankets on top of them, before looking at Janus “Do you wanna spoon or lay on top of me or just hug?” He held Janus’ hand momentarily while the freezing side thought. “Spoon, please.” He decided, turning over so his back was facing Patton, soon smiling at feeling strong arms wrap around his waist and pull him close.

“Alrighty!” Patton giggled, squeezing Janus briefly, who let out a pleased sigh. “This is much better…” He closed his eyes, finally relaxing as he warmed up. “Wonderful.” Morality smiled softly, lifting a hand to gently play with Janus’ hair. “Baby?” “Hm..?” “I’m happy you came to me when you needed me.” Janus smiled softly, taking Pattons other hand and bringing it to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles. “Me too, sunshine…”

[aollosjustlurking]

intro

i decided i should make one of these

i'm apollo, he/they. i am also a minor so don't be weird. i go through periods of being very active on tumblr and then not being active at all for months, so if you want consistency i am not your guy.

some quick warnings for my page before the fun stuff:

i do swear

i might reblog or post nsfw or agnst or stuff like that

i will always tag and put TWs for this stuff though! you will never be surprised with this kind of thing on my blog! there will always be warning!

i've been a fander since 2017. virgil has always been my favorite, but i love them all so much.

ships that i like

prinxiety: my otp. i'm sorry but i love it so much.

anxceit: not really as endgame, but like come one those two have a history

roceit: again, i don't think realistically they would work. but when you combine a history of anxceit, then roceit, and eventual prinxiety ... the draaama

logicality: sweet. what's not to love?

dukeceit: i feel like they get each other. i like it.

moceit: i get it is all i'm saying

intruality: again, i get it. moceit and intruality are two that i don't mind seeing but i don't particularly look for y'know?

analogical: i really get it. i often don't partake because i just love prinxiety so much but if you ship this you are absolutely right. no notes.

ones i'm not a fan of:

logince: look i get it. i totally do. just not for me personally.

royality: platonically? great! just don't see it romantically personally

moxiety: again, platonically? amazing! romantically? not for me.

r*mr*m: i am not just "not a fan" of this, i hate it. it is so gross and bad and please never show me this.

music:

taylor swift: i'm a new swiftie! my top three albums are reputation, lover, and speak now. i mostly post content about sander sides and taylor swift combined

mcr: i am a new fan i'll admit, i don't claim to be an expert. it's great music tho.

will wood: love that funky music what can i say? the normal album is my favorite but i like them all.

olivia rodrigo: sour changed me as a person.

the beatles: this one is courtesy of my mother.

i'm also in to marauder's era harry potter. i'll be honest, i typically hyper-fixate on sander sides then harry potter as like a cycle of the two. so i may post. that content but rn i'm really into sander sides again

dni - typical things

homophobes

transphobes

racists

sexists

terfs

just don't suck y'know?

if you want to dm me you can. i might not respond immediately and i might be dry, it's not you it's me i promise.

if you see any cool sander sides or taylor swift stuff send it my way ig. I hope you enjoy my blog!

[muffinapologist]

Birthday Cake

On A03

warnings: moralitwins, platonic demus, platonic logicality, platonic loceit, graphic depictions of baking cakes, mental breakdowns. angst and fluff.

When it comes to ‘birthdays’ Janus is more inclined to agree with Logan. As sides of one personality they don’t truly have birthdays. Their birthdays, like the rest of them, were constructs. Closer to anniversaries than actual birthdays. No real reason to celebrate.

No reason to get all depressed and angsty when one spends it alone.

February 3rd, the anniversary of when Janus started appearing in Thomas’s videos. The anniversary of when the man first became aware of the deceitful side.

This would be his third year celebrating such a date as his ‘birthday’. So, really, it isn’t too much of a shock to the system for it to also be the first year since then that he’s spending February 3rd alone. Two years in a row is hardly a tradition make.

Not like before, celebrating June 6, as close to a real birthday as anything could be for a side. The day he first formed. He remembers it more clearly than a side like Logan, or Virgil would. Because he wasn’t formed over months and years. It had happened rather suddenly, actually.

But there was no need to reminisce over lost childhood. It has been decades (nearly plural). And Janus isn’t about to spend his day sentimental over spilled batter and the sound of bubbling laughter.

Nor will he spend it mourning the loss of hands over his eyes--scratchy material of long sleeves against his nails--that warm and familiar obnoxiously flamboyant voice declaring “happy birthday Janny”. Over the reveal of some monstrous cake that absolutely did not taste delicious anyway.

So what if he and Patton didn’t celebrate the same birthday anymore?

So what if the ‘light’ sides abhorred his existence? (well, with the exception of Logan who insisted he was neutral)

So what if Remus was a bit sour over being used for Janus’s plans?

It is what it is. Janus does not feel sorry, he does not regret anything. He got what he wanted. He got his seat at the table.

Today is a day like any other. Not a birthday. His birthday is June 6th . He doesn’t have a birthday.

He doesn’t need to be on good terms with his brother; Patton is willing to work with him and that’s all Janus needs to gain a foothold. He doesn’t need the friendship of the lightsides. Remus will forgive him eventually.

Lies come easily to Janus, always have. He lies to the others, he lies to Thomas, and he lies to himself. He tells himself these lies on a loop the moment he realizes Remus isn’t going to even say ‘hi’ let alone his usual insistent celebration.

(and Janus has always wondered, how the others had so easily forgotten that aspect to Remus; the loyalty, the love. Perhaps his way of showing it was a tad… disgusting. But he had somehow found a way to love Janus for all his faults.)

Janus lies to himself and insists that it is not at all significant that he’d done something bad enough to drive even Remus away.

At some point he convinces himself he needs cake. That's what’s missing. All this birthday nonsense has given him a craving , that’s all. So what if Remus wasn’t here to make one? Janus could do it on his own. He was an adult, perfectly capable of baking a simple pastry.

He lands on the page in their old cookbook for a ‘funfetti’ cake (a plain vanilla cake recipe with additional instructions scribbled over it in blue crayon) and tells himself he selects it for its simplicity.

It absolutely does not fill him with a hollow longing feeling.

“Don’t stir so fast it’s going to--”

The warning does not come nearly soon enough to stop the enthusiastic over-stirring that causes cake batter to splash everywhere.

Patton halts, gives him a lopsided sheepish smile “sorry Jan”

“S’okay Patt. You know what they say; no use in crying over spilt batter.”

“Isn’t it spilt milk?”

“No, i’m certain the saying is batter.”

When Janus feels his eyes sting he tells himself it’s the sun in his eyes, and he closes the kitchen’s blinds to block out some of the light.

Cakes are simple, really. Straightforward. Eggs, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder.

Rainbow sprinkles.

Sometimes Janus wonders if that’s why he struggles so much with baking, straightforward is against his nature. The batter looks wrong, he can already tell it won’t turn out. But he pours it into a greased cake tin regardless. Because the longer he spends on this endeavor the longer he can pretend that his problem is a lack of cake.

“What is that monstrosity?” Janus asks, with exasperated fondness.

“Cake!” Remus declares proudly, as if not sensing the disgust in the other’s tone (or possibly simply preening at it)

“It looks like something’s already eaten it”

“Aww, thank you Janny!”

“Do I have to eat this?”

“Yes” a pause and an eyeroll “Don’t be dramatic snakey, it’s all decoration. It’s a real cake underneath.”

“Thank you Remus”

“Happy birthday Jan”

Janus decides it’s a bit too pathetic, even in his current state, to watch the cake baking in the oven. So he preoccupies himself with cleaning up the preparations. Slowly, because the sooner he finishes the sooner he has nothing to do and he cannot be left with his thoughts right now.

It doesn’t matter, no matter how he stretches it out, he can’t possibly clean for the entire duration of the cake’s cooking time. So he makes frosting. Something he wasn’t originally planning on bothering doing. But you know what they say about idle hands...well, something or other about the devil.

Mixing frosting is also straightforward. Softened butter, milk, vanilla, confectioner's sugar.

Rainbow sprinkles.

“The sprinkles go on the frosting, not in it.”

“But there’s even more sprinkles if we do it both ways. Besides, it’s our recipe. We can make it however we want right?”

“Careful Patt, you’re turning into a rebel.”

Patton sputters and Janus laughs.

The frosting turns out better than the cake, slightly lumpy but speckled with color. Janus covers the bowl with cling wrap and sets it in the fridge while the cake cools on the counter.

Baked, the cake doesn’t look so bad. Although it does fall apart as Janus removes it from the tin. Distantly, he remembers some baking show Thomas watched-while extremely bored and procrastinating- had mentioned to wait for the cake to cool before removing it from the tin. But it’s too late now. He can always plaster the pieces together with frosting later.

No one other than Janus himself is going to see the cake anyway, who cares if it’s ugly as sin?

Janus does have enough sense, however, not to attempt any frosting related reconstruction while the cake is still hot. Cleaning up the mess from making the frosting doesn’t take very long, especially since he can’t clean out the bowl just yet. (he is able to clean out the cake tin but due to the baking spray there’s not much to scrub and he’s done in minutes)

“Happy birthday,” Logan-still called Curiosity rather than Logic at that time-holds out a poorly wrapped gift, one for each of the twins. One with yellow paper and the other with blue.

Janus briefly considers not opening his at all, even with the lack of skill it’s probably the prettiest gift he’s ever seen.

But Patton rips into his and soon Janus gives in as well.

“Thank you Lo,” Patton jumps with excitement and wraps his arms around the Curious side. Janus repeats the sentiment, with only marginally less enthusiasm.

It’s just the three of them for right now. A happy little family on June 6th.

Patton would have celebrated his birthday on January 15th this year, Janus’s mind supplies without permission and without warning, just as he had for the past five years. He wonders, before he can stop himself from doing so, if Patton ever feels the same sense of wrongness on January 15th as Janus feels on February 3rd.

Unlikely. Patton seemed perfectly content to forget that he has a twin.

That was their long standing lie. One that still joined them together as equal participants. Patton was morality and Janus was deceit and that was that. Nothing more to see here folks. Move right along.

He doesn’t know how much time has passed, and the cake on the counter is still warm to the touch, but Janus figures that not losing his sanity further is worth some melted frosting; so he starts piling it on anyway. When it melts and slides off he just layers more on.

The benefit to this-objectively awful-approach is that it requires three times the amount of time than frosting a cake like a competent person would. As far as Janus is concerned, the more wasted time the better. The closer the clock ticks to February 4th the closer he is to being relieved from his not-birthday.

No amount of decorations can save the cake at this point, but Janus tops it with more rainbow sprinkles anyway. Because it’s what Patton would have done. Because it’s something to do to take up a little more time.

When it’s finished, though; when Janus has cut himself a piece, setting it on the counter; it doesn’t get tasted. Ofcourse, Janus had known from the beginning that he wasn’t really craving cake. That he didn’t even particularly like sweets, and the only reason he associated cake with birthdays was because people always insisted he partake.

And it wasn’t cake that made those moments sweet.

It’s a good thing he’s alone, Janus tells himself, when he stares at the drooping, crumbling cake and thinks ‘well isn’t that just a metaphor for my entire existence’ and can no longer hold back tears.

So much for Patton being the cry baby.

“Oh”

The sudden sound of someone else’s voice most certainly does not make Janus jump.

Patton looks a bit awkward, clutching a plate with an equally disastrous looking cake on top. White with rainbow sprinkles. Funfetti. Janus has just enough awareness to flush with embarrassment and wipe the tears from his cheeks.

He clears his throat and straightens his cape slightly. “Can I help you?”

Patton opens his mouth to say something, then closes it again. He appears to be thinking really hard about something and Janus is about to say something about not needing pity when Patton finally speaks;

“I miss spending our birthday together.”

“It’s not our birthday,” comes Janus’s immediate reply.

“I know.” Patton replies.

They stare at each other a moment longer before Janus motions for Patton to take a seat at the counter. The father figure does, and the reptilian side slides his untouched piece of cake towards the other. Patton gives him a slice of his own cake, and both twins eat in silence for a moment.

Janus cuts through the silence this time, with a sly grin “Patt, this is the worst cake I’ve ever tasted.”

“Really? Because I think yours is pretty good,” Patton replies. “In fact, I think it’s maybe the best cake i’ve ever had.”

Janus gives him a skeptical look, but digs his fork into the remains of the cake he baked to taste it. The frosting is grainy and off-putting and the cake is crumbly and dry and he barely avoids coughing afterwards. “You’re getting better at lying.”

“I learned from the best,” Patton jokes back. “But I mean it. I think it’s the best cake i’ve ever had. It tastes like...not being alone anymore.”

“That’s a lot to put on a cake.” Janus retorts. He’s never been especially good with sentimentality.

Patton just shrugs in response.

“Hey Patt?”

“Yeah Jan?”

“On June 6th let’s just order a cake.”

Patton gives a snort-laugh hybrid. “Yeah, that’s probably for the best.”

-----

When Janus knocks he’s somewhat surprised he even gets an answer. He supposes it shouldn’t be surprising, Remus may be mad at him but he’s not cruel. Still, the creative side glares at him.

“What?”

Janus holds the road-kill esque funfetti cake out to Remus. His best friend. “I’m sorry, Re. I…”

He’s not good with apologies, either, but apparently, that’s enough; because he’s pulled into an immediate-sticky-hug.

“Happy birthday Janny.”

[darksides-dutchess]

Next fucker to say any ship is canon in sanders sides is getting a good taste of my boot in their face.

[aidensm8]

Janus and u!Patton strike me as divorced parents. Were they together at all before the events of the comic? Or, are you okay with people shipping them?

Tbh I'll leave such matters to your imagination

And I won't get mad, but I'll admit I'd prefer not to see if you do

[caruliaa]

Me abt myself: wow they have such good taste 😳😳😳

[the-duke-of-nuts]

Me: Man I really wanna write a Moceit fic or oneshot where Patton runs for class president because he wants to make the school a more welcoming and friendly environment but his opponent is Remy (AKA the typical most popular guy in school) So the other sides try helping Patton the best way they can by hanging up posters, advertising, etc. but Janus tries secretly rigging the vote to help him out cause he just wants to see and make Patton happy

My Brain: Wow very creative. Fucking write it then

Me: ...

Me: AHA! Why do that when we can just DAYDREAM about it <3

[stardustanddaffodils]

we keep this love in a photograph

@moceit-appreciation-week day 7: anniversary

masterlist

Notes: for something so short, this shouldn’t have taken so long.... anyway, title is not from waitress this time! title is from Photograph by Ed Sheeran. i had a ton of fun with this AU, I’ll probably come back to it someday because there are definitely some things I wish I could’ve included!

Pairings: Moceit

Word count: 697

Warnings: past character death, food mention, crying

Summary: Patton finds a scrapbook and possibly some closure.

“Janus?”

Patton tries not to make it sound too much like he’s crying. Judging by the concerned look on Janus’ face, he doesn’t think he succeeded.

“Yes?”

Patton smiles tearfully and holds up the slender book he’s been perusing. “Look what I found.”

Janus stares uncomprehendingly for a moment before his eyes widen. “Is that…?”

“My old scrapbook,” Patton answers with a rueful smile, rubbing his thumb along the spine. “I’d forgotten about this….”

There had been a phase maybe a few years back where Patton had decided to try scrapbooking. He gave up on the hobby, but he still enjoys it, and looking back at the old photographs and decorations makes his heart feel full and heavy at the same time—though Patton supposes the two statements aren’t exactly exclusive.

“Look,” Patton whispers, flipping through the memory-soaked pages. Each image is labeled with a date, and Patton feels tears slip down his face as he skims through the past. Janus rests his head on Patton’s shoulder, arms curling around his waist in a comforting embrace, and Patton leans into it, tucking the feeling into his mind for safekeeping.

“Is that one from when we hiked that mountain? What was it called?”

Patton smiles, entrenched in nostalgia. “Yes, Mount Tam—from our trip to California!”

He turns the page and everything seems to slow down. Because surrounded by flowery stickers and dated two years ago on the dot is a picture of his mother. His mother and Janus, specifically, and Patton remembers it like it was two days ago rather than two years ago. He remembers taking the picture and poking fun at Janus when he mispronounced things as they all laughed together, and it hurts. Because it wasn’t yesterday and his mother will never smile at him or show Janus how to bake something again. Because the photograph isn’t from two days ago and somewhere along the way, while Patton was still trying to catch up to the present and the past was sinking its claws in and holding him captive, his mother left him. Every so often it hits him that she’s really gone and the pain crashes over him as though the wound is still fresh. Today is every so often.

A sob shakes Patton’s shoulders and Janus strengthens his hug, looking at the photograph with a controlled, impassive expression. “That’s from the day your mom taught me how to make rasgullas, isn’t it?” Janus asks carefully, as though Patton is fragile, and maybe he is. In spite of himself, Patton giggles—Janus still can’t pronounce it properly.

Memories of the day push to the front of his mind, warm but edged with sorrow. His mother had seemed so offended when Patton told her that he’d never shown Janus how to make rasgullas, and had declared then and there that she would teach him. The three of them kneaded the milk fat and talked and grinned at Janus’ reaction to the final product. To this day, it’s one of the most concrete memories of family that Patton has.

He misses it—he misses her, and it’s been months but the loss still hurts. Patton doesn’t know if there will ever be a day when it doesn’t.

But sometimes you just have to try to push through and hope what you’re doing is enough, so Patton smiles and leans into his husband. “Congrats, honeybun,” he teases with a sniffle. “It’s the anniversary of the day you learned how to make rasgullas.”

Janus hums. “Maybe we can make some again today.”

Patton traces the picture with his finger. “I think I’d like that.”

Every day is something like an anniversary, he considers. Every day is a landmark of something, no matter how small.

Patton looks at the picture again—smiles and love, frozen in time—and warmth fills him as he sets the scrapbook aside.

For every day—every anniversary, and Patton can already see the way Janus will roll his eyes when Patton tells him about this thought—there’s another moment, another memory, another piece of love caught in a photograph.

Patton takes his husband’s and, his mother’s smile in his mind and love in his heart, sets off to make new memories.

[the-noisiest-pumpkin]

sanders sides headcannons i have

-patton S U C K S at baking. he once almost burned down the mind palace trying to make cereal. don’t ask how.

-virgil, on the other hand, is great at baking (though he never told anyone because reasons)

-roman sings when he’s stressed

-logan despises poetry because there’s too many metaphors he doesn’t understand

-virgil and roman!! have disney movie nights together!!!

-janus had a lisp but he pulled a jaiden and “stopped it”

-remus and roman are good at coming up with unique insults and it’s hilarious to hear what they come up with

-all the sides except logan quote vines on the daily to annoy him

-if patton is a dad, then janus is a mom. end of discussion. go to your room

-okokok but janus is D E F I N I T E L Y a marina stan. his favourite song is lies. periodt.

-logan, janus and virgil all had a crush on roman at some point can’t really blame them though

-hhhhhhhhhh remus ate glue at some point.

-remus is the problem child honestly

-roman just needs a hug guyS SOMEONE GIVE HIM A HUG-

-one of them has a pikachu phonecase. idk who but i’ll figure it out soon

[hydra-collector]

I SWEAR

THE NEXT TIME I SEE UNTAGGED MOCEIT/RARE POLYSHIPS WHERE PEOPLE ONLY TAG THE BARELY KNOWN SHIP NAMES

I’M GOING TO SEND A VERY ANGRY ASK

[sometimeswritingsometimesdying]

i need more moceit, intruality, and logicality content aaaaa

[rosesisupposes]

Objections, Your Honor

Two lawyers are across the aisle in open court once more. But today something is off, and no one is happy with the result.

read on ao3

characters: mainly Logan & Janus; background Virgil, Patton, Roman, Remus, Remy, and Emile

pairings: soulmate Loceit; QPP Analogical; QPP Moceit; romantic soulmate Royality; romantic soulmate Dukexiety; romantic soulmate Remile

content tags: non-traditional soulmate AU; courtroom drama; arophobia and acephobia; shameless self-pandering with legal arguments about the MCU; gushing about QPPs; couples therapy

reader tags: @royally-anxious @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby  @sparkly-rainbow-salt @astral-eclipse​ @thelowlysatsuma @adorably-angsty @max-is-tired @almostoveranalyzed @potestessemagishomosexualitatis  @mariniacipher @vintage-squid

word count: 10,386

⁂

The day it happened was no normal day for Logan. But not, of course, because of that.

He cared because it was a trial day. Months of motions back and forth, weeks and weeks of preparation, and today was oral arguments. He normally avoided open court, particularly against such an opponent, but nothing could be done.

His case files were impeccably arranged in his padfolio, his grocery list of arguments annotated in precise writing, blue ink dotting the page with emphases and connections, his notepad prepared at his left.

He glanced to his right out of the corner of his eye at his opposing counsel. He didn't want them to see him looking. But he sneered internally at the haphazard stacks of papers spreading across the table and the garish gold ink that looped and curved across sticky notes.

The judge finally came out, and Logan stood, crisply buttoning his tailored jacket as he did so. At the signal, he identified himself clearly. "Logan Finch for the appellant, Your Honor." 

And then, from his right: "Janus Alighieri for the appellee, Your Honor."

Logan rolled his eyes internally. Janus was, unfortunately, a very familiar foe at this point. But then, they were two of the most respected lawyers in their state, with opposing specialties and reputations for innovative tactics.

Logan was self-aware. He had another reputation, too: as a black-and-white thinker, unshakable, unalterable. He preferred to think of it as a particularly strong conviction. Versus "The Snake" against him, who coiled and twisted the facts of his cases to benefit his clients.

And of course, that was the issue today - Logan strove to show that his client had a straightforward, airtight argument that should clearly prevail, while Janus found miniscule details that he said should be enough to distinguish the case at hand and make it different from previous decisions, enough so to allow the case to be decided in his favor. He'd charmed the jury at trial, and now argued against Logan's appeal.

Logan prided himself on keeping a cool head, but listening to Janus' speech just got under his skin. His neat handwriting started to get messier and messier as he furiously scribbled notes of counterarguments and responses to his opponent's points. Then Janus turned slightly, just enough to see frustration's color burn in Logan's cheek, and he smirked.

Logan barely heard the gasp from the observers behind the bar, because he'd just snapped his pen in his grip.

He looked straight ahead, somewhere slightly to the left of the judge's head, but he saw very little, his furious thoughts too loud to allow any else to be processed. But the audience was murmuring and talking, far louder than any judge usually allowed - what was going on?

A clerk from behind him hurried up to the judge's dais and whispered urgently in her ear. Logan had yet to look around, but he was slowly coming back to himself, enough to be confused at this disruption in normal procedure. He refused to look over at Janus' probably-still-smirking face.

The judge cleared her throat. "Counselors, we will recess for the day. Please join me in my chambers now."

Logan frowned, but cleaned up the broken pen and gathered his file neatly back into his leather briefcase. He didn't look over, but he heard the flurry and crinkling of papers as Janus threw his notes into his own bag. Without glancing over, Logan followed the judge to the small office at the back of the courtroom.

"Mr. Finch, Mr. Alighieri. I do hope there's a good explanation for this breach in propriety, not to mention the code of conduct," she said sternly as they both stood before her heavy desk.

"Breach, Your Honor?" Janus asked. He sounded just as confused as Logan felt.

"As barred attorneys, you are expected to know the code as well as I," Judge Kasel said severely. "No soulmates may be involved in a trial together, except as co-counsel."

Logan's ears roared. "Your Honor, I apologize, I must have misheard. Soulmates? How is that relevant-"

"Mr. Finch, don't play dumb with me - the entire courtroom saw!"

"Saw what?" Janus asked. His voice was oddly distant and strained from its normal silky tones.

Judge Kasel stared at them in disbelief. "You mean to tell me you both managed to not see that? I'm quite certain the entire county saw the glow just now, through even the back of your suits!"

"Glow?" Logan asked. His chest was suddenly very, very empty, a vacuum of air or substance, and had he not been sitting he was sure he would have fainted.

"Yes, glow, both your marks on your shoulders. Given your mutual surprise, I will assume that this was indeed unknown, and will not declare this case a retroactive mistrial. But you will both need to send in replacements from your firms."

Janus spoke up, his voice tinny. "Replacements, Your Honor? I should think even in light of this- development, only one of us would need to withdraw-"

"Mr. Alighieri, while I appreciate your dedication, I will not delay this trial for the entirety of your bonding. I will give you both 3 days to propose counsel to take over, and scheduling will proceed with them."

Oh fuck. Bonding, Logan thought, unable to speak. That absolutely ridiculous expectation.

The clerk poked her head in. "If they need to speak privately, this side office is empty."

"Yes," Logan responded robotically. "Yes, I believe we need to speak."

They filed into the small room. The clerk closed the door behind her, whispering "Congratulations!" as she disappeared.

Janus sat in one of the chairs heavily. Logan remained standing, staring blankly at the bookshelves built into the wall.

"I can't believe this," Janus said finally. "We've known each other for years, how could we possibly be...?"

"Soulmarks frequently emit a barely visible glow from proximity alone, particularly when located on skin that is generally covered. Heightened emotion or situations with high levels of stress lead to brighter glows that were invisible or unnoticed previously," Logan recited dully.

"Oh yes, how could I forget, I'm talking to Encyclopedia Brown," Janus said, rolling his eyes. "Of course you've memorized that too." He unbuttoned his suit vest dexterously despite his trademark yellow gloves, slumping forward in his chair as he threw his vest over the arm carelessly.

"At least one of us actually has a factual basis for this event, rather than us both being in the dark," Logan snapped back.

"Yeah, your vast knowledge of facts really helped! Did your misguided quest to know everything somehow miss the detail of who's your fucking soulmate?" Janus said, nearly whisper-screaming.

Logan whirled to face him, a fiery reply already on his lips, when he suddenly saw a blue light showing through Janus' white shirt, bright enough to glint off the polished chair back and off the glass of the picture frames on the wall.

He closed his eyes, breathing out slowly. "Yes. That was a detail I had not learned. It felt trivial, unable to affect my work. But now that it has, we're better off resolving this."

Janus deflated too. "Yeah. We should. If we can just get through this part, at least we'll stop glowing like horny teenagers."

Logan focused on a tiny flag displayed on the desk as he spoke, not looking over. "I know of a very respectable landlord who rents bonding apartments in the city. Nothing overdone or kitschy, no 'honeymoon' suites, just furnished apartments for indefinite stays."

"Fine. Not like we can't afford it, whatever the price."

"I have some arrangements to make at home-" Logan began

"As do I, unless-"

"Unless what?"

Janus took a breath. "How would you feel about living with a snake?"

"I rather thought that was the entire idea," Logan replied coolly.

Janus shot him a withering glare. "I mean a python, you absolute cotton-headed ninnymuggin."

"Ah, my mistake," Logan said calmly. "That should be fine. A pet, I assume? Or your chosen co-counsel?"

"Let's get one thing straight, Finch," Janus said, rising to his full height, looking down at his infuriating opponent. "I don't like you. I don't expect or particularly want you to like me. We are going to be residing together up until, and only until, our illogical marks have decided in their weird cosmic energy to stop lighting up like neon signs whenever we experience strong emotion in each other's company. I fully expect to be pissed off the entire time, which will make figuring that out easier. But you do not get to speak to me that way, or I'll-"

Logan looked up to meet Janus' eyes. "Or you'll what, Alighieri?"

"I'll report you to the bar for breaking the code, and convince them you already knew," Janus replied smoothly. "And you of all people should know- I am very persuasive."

Logan's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. "Fine. And yes, you may bring your python. I'll be leaving my cat at home, however."

"Fine with me," Janus said curtly, deflating back into his normal slouch.

"I will send you the details of the landlord I mentioned. I can make the arrangements within the hour."

"Sure. Wait-"

"What?"

"How are you going to send me the details?"

Logan paused. Their only real contact over the years had been in person or by professional communications. He could hardly use a process server or subpoena to give Janus his key. "Ah. Right. Your contact information, then?" He pulled out his notepad.

Janus pulled out his gold pen and scribbled his phone number at an angle, entirely crossing the college-ruled lines. Logan cringed but took it.

"I will contact you shortly, then. And I will may sure to look for pet-friendly apartments."

Janus nodded. "Right."

"Right."

They both paused.

"Uh. See you soon, then," Janus said, and left the room abruptly.

⁂

Janus had to hand it to him - the apartment was all Logan had promised. Clean, sleek, and spacious. The landlord had even left a spare heat lamp, so Janus' sweet Monty would be comfortable.

Best of all, there were several separate rooms in the suite - two bed, two bath, and two offices.

The kitchen was also well-furnished, and came stocked with staple foods. Logan had arrived, however, with extra bags of groceries.

"I brought my own additions," he said. "The landlord is a friend, but he doesn't buy from the shops I prefer."

He proceeded to pull out several large jars of kimchi, what looked like at least a gallon of soy sauce, and various bright packages that Janus couldn't read.

Janus resolved to take pictures and look up what these things were later. Not while Logan was standing here, glaring up and over as if daring him to comment.

"I've picked the smaller bedroom," Janus informed the shorter man calmly. "Monty is set up in there, so if you're weird about snakes, just avoid it. Actually, feel free to avoid it anyway. I've got a brief to write."

Logan made a noncommittal sound in response.

Hours later, Janus emerged from his office to eat something. His brief was finished, sent off to his senior partner. He hadn’t yet told the firm about the day’s events- only that the appeal would need to be handled by another partner with his associates’ help, he needed to take emergency leave, and he would let them know soon how long he expected to be unavailable. H

e found evidence in the kitchen that Logan had prepared, eaten, and cleaned up dinner for himself.  That was fine by him. He made his own food, grabbed a bag of candy, and retreated back to his room.

The next morning, he woke up at his normal late time, stretching in the sun. The kitchen once again showed evidence of Logan's presence- particularly the currently-soaking coffee pot.

When the sun started to descend once more and Janus had yet to see his new roommate, he grumbled. Guess he'd have to be the fucking practical one.

He blew Monty a kiss for good luck and stumped down to the rooms Logan had claimed. He rapped on the door. "Finch. We need to talk."

He waited. There was silence, then a slow drag of a chair. The doors cracked open.

"Yes? What about?"

"No. We need to talk. Or, fuck, I don't know. Be in the same room occasionally."

Logan sighed deeply, and opened the door more. "Fine."

Janus went to the living room and sat on one side of the couch. Logan followed him and settled on the chair facing him.

"So." Janus began.

"So what," Logan replied flatly.

"Sew buttons," Janus replied automatically.

"What?"

"Just something one of my friends says," Janus muttered.

"Ah. So what was it you want to discuss?"

"I don't know!" Janus snapped. "But I'd really like to get back to my life, eventually, and that can only happen if we bond." His lip curled.

Logan sighed heavily. "And how, exactly, do you propose we do that?”

Janus fell silent. He had very few ideas. Pop culture made it very clear that bonding was an extremely romantic event. First kisses. Proposals. Or, in the less sappy movies, it seemed to consist purely of falling into bed together. None of which appealed in the least, particularly not with Logan.

Logan stared expectantly. "Nothing? You just pulled me out with no ideas?"

"If you're the fucking brilliant one, you come up with one then!" Janus spat out the suggestion with a glare, but then he saw it - a soft gold glow shining through Logan's tee, reflected in the tasteful mirror behind him.

They both deflated again, glows reducing down to hidden beneath their clothes. 

Logan adjusted his glasses. "I. Ah. Apologize. I realize you are attempting to resolve this issue."

"But you're right. I have no idea how to," Janus admitted.

Logan took off his glasses to rub his eyes. "Unfortunately, neither do I. Perhaps just coexisting will be enough."

"How long will that take, though?"

"I haven't the foggiest."

They lapsed into silence.

Finally, Janus suggested, "Maybe we can do our work in the same room. Set up in the dining room with all our stuff. Coexist but in proximity."

Logan glanced over. "That seems relatively painless. Let us make an attempt, then."

⁂

Logan had not had any particular expectations for how well they could share a work space.

And yet, it was still far worse than he'd expected.

Janus talked to himself. As he read, as he wrote, as he researched. Not loud, but a constant stream of soft muttering, disjointed words and full sentences. 

It was the most distracting thing Logan had ever been suffered to experience.

"Will you please be quiet," he said tightly, after an hour passed with no signs of letup. 

"What do you mean?" Janus asked.

"That infernal whispering, please, could you stop?"

Janus looked at him quizzically.

"You're talking under your breath," Logan said. He felt a headache coming on. 

"Oh, am I?" Janus asked. "Sorry. I'll be quiet."

It lasted all of half an hour, and then the muttering started again. "SCOTUS said yes but that was a city sidewalk, 2nd says no but that was Lincoln Center, hm, decoration, use, separation, intent?" 

"You're doing it again!"

Janus looked slightly guilty. "It's barely conscious, it's how I process things. Could you just wear headphones?"

"I need silence."

"Noise-canceling, then?"

"Fine. Do you own a pair?"

But the headphones didn't help. The sensation was too odd, of being closed-in, and he kept bumping then as he went to lean against his hand. Finally, Logan stood. "I'm going back to my office. This experiment has failed."

Janus' eyes narrowed. "Well, thanks for deigning to sit in my presence for a full three hours before giving up."

"I'm not giving up, this is just not tenable!" Logan insisted. 

"Well, you asked for ideas, and I came up with one. If it's not working for you, you come up with a better one. Come find me when you're done thinking, I know it could take you a while."

He stood and grabbed an apartment key, and stalked out to walk off his frustration.

As he walked, he called his best friend.

"Hey Pat, it's me."

"Jan! Hi buddy, how are you?!"

He sighed heavily. "I want to go home."

"But you only just got there?"

"Yeah, and it's going shi- I mean, badly. Really badly."

"I'm sure you'll work it out," Patton said confidently. "You're a brilliant and wonderful human, and anyone smart enough to argue against you will be able to see that!"

"Thanks, hun," Janus said. "The fact remains that I also don't like him."

Patton hummed tunelessly. "It doesn't have to be instant, Jan. These things usually take time."

"Unlike you and Ro."

"Well, yes, but that's because we were meant to be!" Patton soft, his voice taking on that soft, besotted tone it always did when he talked about his soulmate.

"Isn't the whole point that all soulmates are meant to be?"

"Well, yes..." Patton faltered. "But it doesn't have to look like us, we're just hopeless romantics!"

"I know. How's wedding planning going?"

"We started watching movies for inspiration and got distracted with a Disney marathon," Patton said fondly. 

"But you had fun?"

"Absolutely!"

"Good," Janus said, meaning it. There were very few people, in his opinion, who deserved happiness the way Patton did.

He was quiet for a moment, then asked, "Pat- what if it was a mistake? What if we just have defective marks or something?"

"I'm sure that's not true!" Patton insisted.

"It just seems like - I mean, we're not even friends. Most people get to start from strangers at worst, but we've been antagonizing each other for years, what if, I don't know. Neither of us had a soulmate and so they glitched out?"

"You just need to find some common ground," Patton said confidently. "You can't both be so passionate about being lawyers without something more in common. I believe in you, buddy!"

Janus sighed. "Thanks, Pat. Say hi to Roman for me, tell him Monty misses him."

"Will do, nephew! Call any time you need, okay?"

"Love you, Pat."

"Love you tooooo!"

Janus realized he'd circled the block and was back at the apartment entrance. He steeled himself, then went back up. He repressed the petty urge to bang open the door to disturb Logan's quiet as much as possible.

Logan wasn't in the common spaces, but emerged not long after Janus returned.

"I feel I must apologize," he began. "It wasn't my intent to denigrate how you work. It is just clear that sharing a workspace is not going to be preferable for either of us."

"Yes, I'm aware I had a bad idea," Janus said, overly patient. "Kind of an odd apology, but I accept. Can I have lunch now?"

"Yes, of course. May I join you?" Logan asked.

Janus raised a distrusting brow.

"The idea of spending time in the same space was a good one. I thought we might try a context in which we don't need to focus."

"Fine."

They prepared food around each other, both managing to bite their tongues when they needed the same counter space or cooking implements, which Janus was proud of himself for. They ate in silence.

Janus heard Logan sigh in exasperation and braced himself for yet another snippy comment. Instead, he heard an unexpected question.

"Do you enjoy superheroes?"

"To eat? No, they upset my stomach," Janus replied drily.

"I mean to watch. Superhero movies and shows."

"Occasionally, yeah, why?"

"Perhaps we could watch one this evening. At the same time."

"Sure."

And they parted to continue working on their own.

⁂

Logan had been correct that, as far as superhero movies went, the MCU was a safe choice.

In retrospect, though, perhaps Civil War had been... less so.

It had started when Steve first objected to the Sokovia Accord plan- and Logan had scoffed.

Quick as a cat’s pounce, or an adder’s strike, Janus’ head whipped around. 

“You disagree?”

Logan glanced over briefly, screen light blinking off his glasses. “Well, of course. Didn’t New York and Sokovia show that some control is needed? Lawlessness leads to more civilian casualties.”

“And yet, if supers are controlled so much that risk of liability keeps them from acting at all, casualties would be just a tad higher, don’t you think?”

Tony and Steve’s voices raised on the screen as Logan replied, “What would the difference be of the villains and heroes if they all act with complete impunity?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did we lose mens rea when we switched over into Marvel-land?” Janus asked, voice clipped. “Isn’t the entire basis of our modern penal system based on culpability, not just the act or harm done?”

Logan looked down his nose. “Of course culpability matters. But you well know that one of the factors for absolute liability is when an act is inherently and extremely dangerous. Say, for instance, displays of superhuman force in a densely populated area.”

“So you don’t think there can be any space for personal judgment on the heroes’ behalf?” Janus asked incredulously.

“Look what that space did already! Does the name Ultron ring a bell?”

“So of course, the one who made a terrible call is the one who now wants to be restricted? That sounds like asking for the global government to save him from himself instead of taking responsibility.”

“Better that those with actual accountability be the ones bearing the responsibility!”

“Oh, yeah, and we can definitely trust this government’s judgment! A Hydra infestation was all part of the plan!” Janus’ voice was raising, far louder than the movie that still flickered on, ignored.

“There still needs to be rule of law! Steve wants to abandon it all for one person, and a war criminal at that-!”

“And that’s incomprehensible?”

“Of course!”

Janus fixed his supposed soulmate with a glare. “And you mean to tell me that there’s no one, no one, that you would be willing to burn the world down for?”

Logan opened his mouth to respond, but Janus continued quickly before he could. “No one who won’t fight for themselves, because they think they’re not worth it, but you know they’re so worth it that you would be willing to kill for them?”

Logan, about to spit out an impulsive reply, paused, momentarily speechless. As clearly as if they were sitting on the edge of the couch next to him, his best friend from childhood filled his mind. Virgil, who never believed their worth no matter how many times Logan and their soulmate Remus told them so.

Janus saw the pause and continued softly. “I’m not saying rule of law isn’t important. But the trouble with laws is they’re only as tailored as legislators make them. And they’re human, and therefore fallible. We need exceptions, for those situations that they didn’t imagine.”

Logan struggled for moment, then replied, just as quietly, “You’re right.”

Janus’ mouth fell open in shock, but just as he did, the tv’s faint blue glow throughout the room was washed over with two beacons in blue and gold, blazing from their backs.

At the sight, Logan’s face went from contemplative and open to stony. He stood abruptly and stalked off into his room. The door closed behind him with a decisive click, and Janus was left staring at the wood in confusion and anger.

⁂

“I just don’t get it!” Janus whisper-screamed into the phone. He was power walking through a nearby park, moving so fast he’d passed a skateboarder and a particularly leisurely biker. “Does he want to keep on glowing forever? What is his problem?!”

Patton made sympathetic noises in response, quite familiar with the sound of Janus in full rant mode. Roman was lying with his head in his lap, listening on speaker, so Patton was settled in to be as receptive to his friend’s complaints as he needed.

“I mean, we finally agreed on something, besides the fact that we want to get this fucking resolved, and then he just, what, shuts me out? Literally and figuratively? I literally can’t even catch him leaving to the kitchen for food now!”

Patton winced. “Not since? But it’s been two days!”

“Two and a half, yeah,” Janus replied. His voice suddenly sounded weary. “I can’t keep doing this. The trial’s going on without us anyway, I might as well just give it up and make sure I never have to argue against him again.”

At that, Roman sat bolt upright. “Janus, my dear esquire! You cannot abandon your quest! This is your soulmate!”

“Yeah, well. Maybe some soulmarks are broken. Or we just met at the wrong time. Maybe if we’d met in law school we would have been a team, but now it’s too late.”

Janus sounded contemptuous, but Patton could hear a distinct note of regret.

“Maybe...” he started, but trailed off, thinking.

“Maybe what, Pat?”

“Well, it’s just that I’ve heard of soulmates who, you know, take an abnormally long time to bond, or manage to un-bond after years together, but they can fix it. Do you remember my old roommate?”

Janus wrinkled his nose. “Patton, are you suggesting couple’s therapy? I’m fairly certain that only applies to couples.”

“Well, you’ve kinda been forced to be one, right? At least to figure out bonding? They could probably help, or at least let you know if it’s not worth the effort.”

Janus sighed. “No, you’re right, it’s a good idea. I just have no idea how I’ll get Finch to go along with it.”

“Might I make a suggestion?” Roman asked politely. 

“Sure.”

“Perhaps try calling him ‘Logan.’”

Janus rolled his eyes. “Worth a shot, I guess. Love you both.”

“Love you Jan!”

“Best of luck with the love of your soul!”

 Back in the apartment, Logan was pacing in precise squares in his bedroom. He half-expected the rug to be worn down by the repeated impact at this point. 

“L, I don’t know what to tell you, buddy,” the gravely voice on the phone said. “You really have only two options here: find a way to avoid him forever, which will probably involve having to turn down cases you’d like-“

��I bet he’d stay on them just to force me off,” Logan interrupted, growling. 

“That is a possibility,” Virgil replied, their voice overly patient. “The other option, though, is to work this out,” they continued. 

Logan scoffed.

“Lo, that doesn’t mean you’ve gotta turn into a Hallmark movie! But it’s clear this isn’t just going away, and it’s not like you’ve got nothing in common.”

Logan groaned. “Virge, I don’t-“

“I know, man. I know. But you can’t just hide in your room until he just decides to move out, which means you’re gonna have to talk to him at some point.”

Logan didn’t reply, just continued pacing. 

“You know I’m right, Lo,” Virgil said patiently. “You don’t have to say it, just promise me you’re not going to keep being a hermit, okay?”

Logan sighed. “I promise.”

“There we go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

About to hang up, Logan heard a voice in the background and Virgil asked him to wait.  Then, “Reme wants to say hi.”

Logan let out an exasperated sigh, but he was smiling. “Fine, I’ll allow it-“

“Loooogggyyyyy! How’s the soulmate boning going? Have you figured out that you’re a power bottom yet?”

“Hello, Remus. I take it you’re well.”

“Let’s just say I’m glad you’re my brother-in-law because I may have some need for a lawyer soon.”

Logan couldn’t conceal the grin from his voice as he replied, “As I know you know, I am not a defense attorney, nor would I ever be so unwise as to take you as a client.”

“Aww, you’re such a smart cookie! And by cookie I mean a snack, because mmmm-MMMm you’re a snacc!”

“Always glad to know I’m appreciated,” Logan replied drily. “Goodbye, Virgil. Goodbye, Remus.”

“See ya, L.”

“Byeeeeeeeeeee!”

⁂

When Janus returned, he was a bit taken aback to see Logan sitting in an armchair, reading. At the sound of the door, he looked up. 

“Ah, Alighieri. I- I wanted to apologize for my behavior.”

Janus paused. It was a good sign, but still so unexpected as to be unsettling.

Logan cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have left you in a lurch. You did not cause this situation anymore than did I, and you have not been unkind. I have a suggestion for how we might move forward.”

Janus winced internally, thinking of another disastrous attempt at a movie or workspace. “I actually had a thought on that as well, but um. What was yours?”

Logan cleared his throat again. “Well, since we have been... brought into this situation together, but as a pair are struggling to adjust, it seems logical to consult with an expert, much as we would in our work. Therefore, we should consult a professional on personal relationships.”

“Oh, thank god,” muttered Janus. “Yeah, I was gonna suggest a couples counselor too. I think that would make sense. And I actually have a personal reference to a very experienced therapist.”

That settled, they found the earliest possible appointment, only two days later. 

“I do need to warn you-“ Janus said as they walked up to the office. It was their first time out of the apartment together, and it had been a very quiet walk over. “The methods of this therapist are- unorthodox. But they are highly acclaimed in their field.”

“Oh, are they an enby?” Logan asked. 

“Yes and no,” Janus replied. “You see, there’s two of them.”

“Two?”

“Yeah, they’re a couple therapist that is also a couple.”

“I don’t- well- I mean, that’s odd, right?”

Janus grinned. “Yeah, odd is a common word to describe them. But they’re highly praised and like I said, they were recommended personally.”

“Right,” Logan said, squaring his shoulders. “An open mind is helpful for effective therapy, after all.”

“That’s the spirit! I think,” Janus replied, holding the door open.

A gothy receptionist showed them to a private room with a comfortably large couch. Logan looked around in trepidation and slight alarm at the decorations. There were countless Funko-Pops, posters, stuffed animals, and an alarmingly high number of travel mugs from what looked like every single cartoon that had ever existed.

Janus was slightly more prepared then Logan, but he still jumped out of his skin by the sudden singing coming around the door. A deep voice was booming, “Duhhh duh-duh-duh-duh-da-DUH!” in a building crescendo that went on and on, until both lawyers were staring in a mixture of confusion and irritation.

Then a tall, lanky man slid in the door and lowered his glasses to wink at them both. “Hey babes. Welcome to therapy.” 

The singer followed him through the door, their bright pink hair a sharp contrast to their warm brown skin. “And thank you as always for the intro, honey!”

They smiled, big and toothy. “Welcome indeed! I’m Dr. Emile Picani, pronouns they/them, and this tall drink of coffee is my partner, Dr. Remy Picani, pronouns he/him! And you are Janus and Logan, correct?”

Logan looked a bit stunned still, so Janus took the lead. “Yes, I’m Janus Alighieri and this is Logan Finch, pronouns he/him for both. And I was referred by Patton Corwan-Augustus.” 

Emile smiled even bigger, if that were possible. “Oh Patty! Best roommate ever, I still miss his brownies. It’s lovely to meet you both!”

“Best roommate? What am I, chopped liver?” Remy asked, hand pressed to his chest. 

“Best friend, best coffee-maker, best of men and best of husbands,” Emile replied, and said husband immediately blushed.

Logan coughed politely. “Have you been married long?”

Remy smiled, still pink around the edges. “We’ve actually been married almost 10 years. The minute we graduated university, actually, when we knew our parents had not a shred left of financial control. We went through our PhDs together, which is why, of course, we’re qualified to help out other couples, because let me tell you, would not recommend.”

“Which brings us, of course, to you two!” Emile said brightly. “What is your goal in coming to therapy?”

Janus and Logan both began speaking at once.

“Well, it started in court-“

“It was completely unexpected, we’ve known each other for years-“

“-dreadfully embarrassing, not to mention the professional ramifications-“

“-it just feels like something’s missing-“

“-really want to just sort this out-“

“-just want to figure out the disconnect-“

“-and we can forget about the whole thing.”

“-want to make this work.”

They looked at each other, shocked, as their words both sank in.

Emile was tapping their Powerpuff Girls pencil topper steadily against their lips, eyes wide behind their pink-framed glasses. 

Remy, at their side, leaned back and took a long, loud slurp of his iced coffee, rattling the ice around until the room’s attention was on him. Then he looked up and said, “Hoooo-wheee.”

“So I’m getting a lot of differing goals here,” Emile said delicately. “Let’s start with you, Janus. Can you expand, please?”

Janus tried to speak, but felt like his voice had dropped into the cold pit that was suddenly his stomach. “I, um,” he started with a shaky breath. He barely noticed when Remy pushed a cup of ice water into his hand, but a sip steadied him somewhat.

“You can look just at me, if that helps,” Emile said softly. “Or at my buddy Kaa here.” They gestured to the stuffed snake on the shelf behind them. 

He looked like a fuzzy little Monty. That would do. 

“Thank you, Doctor,” Janus said, acknowledging the water from Remy. “So. We’ve been rival lawyers for years, because we’re both the best at what we do. It was shocking, to suddenly be glowing in open court, but I thought we just needed to find common ground that’s not arguing. That’s why I’m here, at least.”

“And Logan?” Emile asked, still in that kind voice. Logan wouldn’t meet their eyes, though, or anyone’s.

“I thought- we both seemed so upset by the news. Or at least, I was, and perceived you to be as well.” He didn’t look up as he addressed Janus, but his eyes shifted over and took root on Janus’ polished loafers. “My plan was to spend whatever time was needed to stop glowing, then get back to our respective lives.”

“Do either of you have a question you’d like to ask of one another?” Remy asked. “It can be as large or small scale as you’d like, serious or frivolous.”

Both men looked up at the lanky therapist, who’d actually removed his dark glasses, revealing slightly foggy-looking irises. “Logan, it looks like you have one.”

“Oh- yes. So, Alighieri- I mean, Janus. To be clear- you were not upset by the news?”

Janus took a breath. “I mean, I was shocked, and upset to be removed in the middle of a case. But not about the soulmate thing, specifically. And I have a question too?” He looked to the therapists, who both nodded.

Janus looked over, and saw the Logan was watching him in his periphery. “When you say you were upset about the news- was it about the soulmate thing, or about me as your soulmate?”

Logan actually sat up, looking shocked. “Oh, goodness gracious. Absolutely about the concept of ‘soulmate’ in general, not personal in any way. Did I-?”

“Well, yeah, a bit,” Janus said.

“I am- I am so sorry. I would have absolutely have been equally upset, no matter who I found to be an accidental soulmate.”

Janus felt his stomach unclench just a bit.

“Logan, what about soulmates in general upsets you?” Emile asked.

Logan’s mouth pressed into a thin line, and he stayed silent for a moment, then two. Finally, he said curtly, “I never asked for one. And no one asked if I wanted one, either.”

“No one asked if I wanted to be trans, and yet here I am,” Emile said with a cheeky grin. “We don’t always get a say over the circumstances of our birth.”

“But Emmy, you’ve found self-acceptance and happiness deriving from coming out,” Remy put in. “Logan, were you content with life before this reveal?”

Logan nodded. 

“So there was no sense of dysphoria prior, or absence of a euphoria that was gained since.” 

Again, Logan nodded.

“Couldn’t-“ Janus began. His throat felt a bit stuck. “Couldn’t there be something to be gained, though?”

Logan picked up a small figurine of Dexter from the table next to the couch, and fiddled with it in his lap as he spoke. “It’s not impossible, there could certainly be gains from a better acquaintance with you. But that’s not what a soulmate is supposed to be, is it? They’re supposed to complete you,” he said, his voice dripping in disdain. “Because you were incomplete before. Because you weren’t enough, alone, you were just waiting for the One. And of course, you can’t be trusted to find them yourself, some cosmic force determines it for you.”

Remy rested his hand in his hand, elbow propped on his knee. “Spill it, sis.”

Logan stared in confusion. 

Remy smiled. “It means, approximately, ‘continue, you’ve got something good to say’. I’m getting a lot here- but a lot of the frustration seems to be with the idea that forces you can’t control are messing with your life, is that fair?”

Logan shifted. “Well, yeah, but that makes me sound like a control freak.”

“Not at all,” Janus interrupted. “Of course you don’t want something incomprehensible to make decisions for you. That’s not controlling, that’s perfectly understandable and human!”

Logan managed a small smile in response.

Emile beamed. “I couldn’t have said it better myself!”

“But I am def gonna poke some holes in your thought bubble,” Remy said cheerfully. “Starting with this: what do you mean when you say a soulmate is intended to be The One?”

Logan stared in disbelief. “Come on. Really? Look at, I don’t know, any piece of media ever. Or at you two. Or at my- friend and his husband. Or any other pair of soulmates!”

Janus added, “I mean, that’s what’s intended, right? With the whole ‘marked from birth’ thing?”

Emile looked at them both very seriously. “Did you know that Remy isn’t The One for me?”

“But he’s your soulmate?” Janus gasped out.

Emile nodded gravely. “He is my soulmate. But he is not my only soulmate.”

“I was designated female at birth to very traditional parents. They wanted me to marry my soulmate at 18, like they had, and they assumed he’d be a man. But my other soulmate was a girl, and I loved her with all my heart. And when I realized I wasn’t a girl, I thought my parents might accept us more. I was wrong.” They took a breath. “We were separated. I don’t know what happened to her. But it was enough to know that my parents didn’t care about my happiness, soulmate or no.”

“I’m so sorry,” Logan said quietly, and Janus nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat. 

“I was lucky, though,” they continued. “I found Remy only two years later. And he accepted me as I am, both my gender and my other soulmate. And the cartoons, of course.”

“I never got to meet her,” Remy said. “So we will never know if she was my soulmate, too. I choose to believe she wasn’t. I think she could have been Emile’s one and only, had they been able to stay together. And that doesn’t make me feel any less lucky to be Emile’s husband, nor any less loved by them.”

“And not to shock you even more, but not all soulmates are romantic,” Emile said. “I know that’s the media portrayal- but well, the media is also pretty straight. And cis. And white. And neurotypical. And-”

“What they’re getting at,” Remy interrupted, “is that common portrayals miss a lot of the variety and complexity of humanity as a whole, let alone the complexity of relationships.”

Logan was sitting very still, and not speaking. Janus was trying to wrap his mind around this, and spoke with uncharacteristic uncertainty as he asked, “So- for instance, um, you could have soulmates who are, uh, queerplatonic partners?”

Logan’s head snapped up, staring at Janus with wide eyes.

Remy grinned. “Yes, of course! I was worried I was going to have to do a vocab lesson, but you both seem to know what that is.”

“But-“ Janus began, brows furrowing.

“But that means-“ Logan muttered to himself.

“Why isn’t he my soulmate?” Janus asked, at the same time Logan asked, “Why aren’t they my soulmate?”

Lit by the twin glows reflecting against the wall, the therapist couple exchanged a pregnant look. Emile reached out and took a hand of each patient. “I know this is a lot to process, but I really want you to keep something in mind: a soulmate is not the only way we can love someone. It’s not the ‘best’ way or only valid way to love someone. The same way the platonic love you clearly both hold for a significant person in your life is no less valid than romantic.”

Remy sat up straight. “I want you both to think about this when you go home. Your love for your QPPs is wonderful, and worth cherishing. And I know you are both lawyers, so here’s a question for you to brief. We cannot know the actual intent of whatever force gave you marks that respond to each other. So I want to you look for what evidence there might be, in each other, for your connection.”

Emile added on, “You have a link, and it’s worth exploring. It doesn’t have to ever be more important, more meaningful than another connection you have. But understanding it is critical to bonding successfully.”

“I think we should wrap there, for this week,” Remy added. “But you can talk about this, of course, without us.”

Janus and Logan nodded, and left. The walk home was as quiet as the walk there had been, but this time the air thrummed with thoughts and ponderings.

⁂

Janus and Logan made dinner with relatively little talk, only quiet asks to pass a spice or a cooking implement. It wasn't an uncomfortable quiet, but one where their minds were far too loud to vocalize just yet.

Janus quietly suggested putting on TV, and picked the game show network as a neutral, unobjectionable option.

They ate as they watched, still burdened with their own thoughts, but slowly started to murmur the correct questions under their breath before the Jeopardy contestants were able to.

Final Jeopardy, as luck would have it, was on Latin - but specifically, Latin as used in law. Both attorneys chuckled at the contestants' answers, some of which weren't even close to correct.

Janus directed a cautious smile in Logan's direction, and found it reciprocated. But as he saw that familiar glow start to reflect off the walls, he tensed, waiting for Logan flee once more.

For the first time, though, he didn't. His eyes widened as he took in the lights, but he didn't move to stand or leave.

"About today-" Logan began. "I don't know that I am quite ready to discuss it all, but I did want to once again apologize for my handling of this situation, and its emotional impact on you. It was entirely unintentional, but I regret causing you distress."

"Thank you," Janus replied softly. "And thank you for being willing and open to go to counseling. I learned a lot today, all of it important."

"I'd like to talk about it tomorrow, if you'd be willing," Logan added. "There are some additional details I need to share, but I don't think I'm able at the present moment."

"Sounds good," Janus nodded. "I'm going to turn in for the night. Sleep well."

"You as well."

But despite feeling tired, Janus found he wasn't at all sleepy. He ended up sitting up until the wee hours of the morning, stroking Monty gently and thinking a great deal.

⁂

The next morning, Janus woke up much earlier than his usual habit, but he needn't have worried - Logan was clearly waiting for him in the kitchen, sipping coffee and idly solving the entire Sunday crossword.

He looked up at the sound of Janus' door, and indicated the mostly-full coffee pot with a nod. Janus gratefully filled a mug for himself and lightened it thoroughly with cream, drinking deep as he stood angled so that he could offer critique and suggestions on the crossword.

"No, shush," Janus said, though Logan had not spoken. "It's gotta be White. Y'know, Betty? C'mon. Most-loved Gold? It's obvious."

Logan just smiled and penned in “White” in the horizontal boxes, immediately able to fill in the Down clues crossing them.

Once the puzzle was complete, Janus refilled his coffee and sat properly at the kitchen island. 

"So, if you're amenable-" Logan began. "I believe I'm prepared to discuss yesterday in more detail."

Janus nodded. "Did you want to start off?"

"Yes, I think I must. Because there was one detail that I wasn't quite prepared to share that I think will be quite helpful in securing a full understanding."

At Janus' encouraging nod, Logan closed his eyes to take a breath, and said, "The truth is, I'm an aromantic asexual. That's why the concept of a soulmate was so upsetting to me, particularly because up until this week I had assumed I didn't have one."

Janus looked down. "I'm ace, too, but not aro, and... yeah, same boat, mostly. I thought I wouldn't have one, but when we started to glow, I assumed it must be romantic. But that must not be the case."

Logan tented his fingers together. "So you're not aro, but you do have a QPP?"

"Yeah - I definitely can experience romantic attraction, but what I feel for Patton has always been stronger, and different."

"I'd like to hear about him, if you'd be willing," Logan said softly, and was rewarded by a smile that seemed about to glow as brightly as his soulmark on Janus' face.

"Oh, he's just the best," Janus gushed. "I met him at the perfect time in my life. I'd just been dumped by an asshole because he couldn't deal with the fact that the asexual part wasn't just me being a tease. I was feeling pretty low, post-college, all alone in a new apartment, and then this beam of sunshine turns out to be the kind of neighbor who brings cookies as a greeting. Even though I wasn't exactly receptive, he just kept coming back, even just to check up on me, and soon I found myself looking forward to it, and then inviting myself over in return."

Logan paused. "Wait, your ex broke up with you because you were ace? Was it a surprise?"

Janus rolled his eyes. "No, not in the least. I'd told him, and reminded him, and he'd just been assuming I would 'get over it,' the fucker. Right after the breakup, there were times I wondered if he was right, if I should have just powered through my repulsion to make him happy. But Patton was amazing about that, too. When he heard what happened - oh my goodness, he was so angry on my behalf, he looked like he was going to Hulk out. And then he made it his mission to make sure I was being validated in my identity and knew that I was eminently lovable both in spite of and because of my aceness."

Logan smiled. "That's wonderful. I can see why you love him so much."

Janus sighed happily. "And it hasn't changed even though he's met his allo soulmate. Roman knows that our bond isn't and will never be a threat to theirs, and he makes Pat so happy. They're planning their wedding right now, but they've already signed all the papers and it'll just be a party where they gush about each other in public."

Janus sat for a moment, basking in the glow of his affection for Patton, before he turned to Logan and asked, “You have a QPP too, right?”

“I do,” Logan said, a smile stretching across his face unconsciously. “Their name is Virgil. And they’re also married to their soulmate.”

“Tell me about them,” Janus said, when Logan fell silent. 

“They’re- they are just amazing. They’re my best friend, have been since about fourth grade. ” Logan’s eyes went a bit misty as he considered his childhood. “We bonded over being surrounded by idiots, after a debate simulation where we were on opposing sides.”

Janus smirked. “You mean I’m not your first? I’m heartbroken.”

Logan shot him a glare, but it had none of true anger’s heat.

“I guess we always had the feeling that we weren’t quite like everyone else. Besides the introverted tendencies, it wasn’t really a shock when they came out as nonbinary. They’d been online, discovering new terms, and in learning about their identity I ran into the aro and ace labels. I felt seen, do you know what I mean? And then Virgil just compounded that feeling by immediately understanding and accepting me. They call me a brother, just to explain that our relationship isn’t “just” friends.”

“What was it like when they met their soulmate?” Janus asked. 

“It wasn’t nearly as smooth as your experience seems to have been,” Logan admitted.

“Their husband is... unique. Prone to rather odd fixations and interests. But he’s also demisexual, and like us, had thought he wouldn’t have a soulmate. And part of his defense mechanism against that kind of rejection was, well. Embracing his off-putting side. Being disgusting for the sake of it. Grossing out others before they could judge him for his orientation.”

Janus grimaced. “I know that feeling, all too well. Donning a mask, so that a rejection won’t be of you, just your persona.”

“Exactly,” Logan said, nodding. “I don’t think it helped that both Virgil’s and Remus’ soulmarks were in their hair. They’d both dyed their hair many times over the years, but it wasn’t enough to hide it. And once they had shown up- there was no more pretending.”

“Was it hard for them?” Janus asked. 

“Accepting it was. But then they started actually talking and then it just- clicked. All those macabre interests that overlapped, the mutual obsession with MCR. They fell in love the minute they both let their walls down. And like you said- it never really changed what I had with Virge. They didn’t meet Reme until college, and didn’t get married until last year. So Virge told Reme that I was here to stay, and part of their life, and he accepted it without a blink. He’s a forensic archeologist now, to Virge’s forensic detective, so they’ve actually both been helpful in cases, too.”

“That’s... kind of adorable, in a weird way,” Janus said, scrunching his nose. 

Logan chuckled. “‘Adorable in a weird way’ is the best possible description for their relationship.”

Janus tapped his finger on the island. “That sounds so familiar, though, and I can’t quite place it.” He closed his eyes, murmuring under his breath. “Wait! Is Virgil’s husband an Augustus?”

“That was his surname, yes, though now it’s Angelico-“

“Oh my god!” Janus burst out. “That’s Patton’s brother-in-law!”

“What?”

“Roman Augustus! That’s his soulmate’s name! And he had a twin, but they had a falling out and haven’t been in contact for a couple of years. But he said he’d been in forensics!”

Logan blinked. “Well, it is certainly a small world. Not that Remus has ever talked about his brother, but I knew he had one.”

“That’s kind of crazy. What are the chances?” Janus asked, laughing. 

Logan looked pointedly over. “Do you really want to know? I could calculate them-“

“Thanks, calculator watch, but I’m good.”

They both chuckled quietly, sitting side by side at the kitchen island. 

“Hey, uh- thank you for trusting me, with the other day, and with this,” Janus said softly. 

“I owe you thanks as well,” Logan replied. “I don’t frequently have the opportunity to talk about Virgil in detail and it’s- it’s nice.”

Janus just beamed, returning the sentiment without words. 

In that moment, the sunlight of the room was tinged with colored light, gold and blue overlapping into rich emerald.

Logan hesitated, seeing it, but after a moment lifted his arm. Janus smiled and leaned in, accepting the offered side-hug.

“Hey Finch- I mean, Logan?”

“Yes Janus?”

“I may not be sure yet why we’re soulmates, but I’m definitely not disappointed that we are.”

A beat.

Then a soft murmur replied, “Neither am I.”

⁂

Later that afternoon, Logan returned from stocking up on more food to find Janus lying upside-down on the couch, lanky legs dangling over the back. His face was red enough to show that he’d been sitting there for a while as the blood rushed downward.

“I cannot imagine that is at all comfortable,” Logan commented drily, neatly putting away the packets of noodles and snacks he’d purchased.

“It helps me think,” Janus replied. “Especially when I’m trying to see something from another perspective.”

Logan’s eyes narrowed. “This better not have been a set-up just to make that terrible pun.”

Janus looked over, grinning. “It actually started that way, not gonna lie. I’d been venting to Patton about an oral argument simulation in law school and he suggested this as a joke. And then it actually helped.”

Logan huffed in what sounded suspiciously like a muffled laugh and came to sit more normally in a chair next to the couch. “So what is it that you’re trying to change your perception of so literally?”

“Our case, actually - Gomex.” At Logan’s quizzical look, he replied, “The partners aren’t letting me onto new cases until they know I’ll be back in person. I’m getting bored. So I thought, you know. Why not figure out what I was missing in this one.” He shrugged, an odd contortion for an inverted torso.

“You were missing something? But you won at trial.”

“And I was caught off-guard by your appeal - or at least, the part where it survived my motion to dismiss.”

Logan allowed himself a satisfied smirk. “Surprised you with my impeccable research, did I? All my rock-solid precedent pointing out the clear error in the original jury instruction?”

Janus’ legs kicked idly in the air. “Your research is always impeccable. Of course you were able to find precedent on-point for the general issue, you’re good at this. But the facts of the case are just so different that how could any of those past rulings be definitive?”

Logan leaned back in his chair, tapping the arm pensively. “Wait, so you really believe that? It wasn’t just a tactic to make Gomex feel like they’re getting their money’s worth for your legal fees?”

Janus finally righted himself, sitting upright with a leg balancing on the coffee table. “Well, yeah , of course I do. I don’t take the time and effort to go to trial for bullshit unless the client can’t be talked down from combat mode. Racking up charges for unnecessary trial prep is only fun when they don’t take my advice.” He looked quizzically at Logan. “So you really didn’t see the difference between Gomex and, what, Sourgoutsis?”

“No material difference, no. It’s in the right circuit, it’s recent and binding, and it established a test that clearly applies here.”

“But the test requires knowledge!”

“Knowing includes reckless disregard for the truth, and Gomex had that.”

“Oh, you can hardly say it’s reckless when all the claims were paid without issue for a decade!”

Logan leaned forward, counting off points on his fingers. “The guidance is updated each year. The commentary points out the changes. Gomex has to certify as a company that they accept all current guidance and direction. If they didn’t actually know they were submitting false claims, they should have known, and had a duty to know.”

Janus’ eyes were flashing, but more with excitement than anger. “But even the commentary didn’t clarify that these specific claims would no longer be accepted in the future. Doesn’t the agency have a duty to be clear about changes in accepted policy when the code is so vast and companies used past claims as standards for future approval?”

“But the companies are the experts in their own industries. They should know that these kind of differences are significant and material.”

Janus sat up fully straight, pointing enthusiastically. “That’s it!”

“What’s it?”

“I figured it out! It is a matter of perspective. But not the perspective of side versus side, like I was thinking. It’s time.”

Logan leaned in, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Expand, please.”

Janus nodded, mirroring Logan’s pose even as his hands remained free to gesture. “So you’re looking at this as: company knows their procedures best, they’re the ones making profit off it, so their duty to know details is higher than the public agency. Right?”

Logan nodded.

“Here’s where I’m coming from - it’s not a question of if this company knew or should have known this distinction, or even if this industry has the expertise that the agency lacks. It’s about what this case would do to the Sourgoutsis test for cases in the future. If the agency doesn’t have to clarify a policy change now, why would it ever? If it’s not enough that companies rely on a long history of approval here, when will it ever be? Do you follow, Logan?”

Logan linked his fingers, tapping the tips of his forefingers gently. “So your concern is about using a history of compliance as evidence of good faith?”

“Exactly, yes.”

“But Gomex knew that the change meant the compliant history was no longer relevant.”

“Only because they had insider knowledge of the change process. Not from the public information.”

“Wait, so you agree that Gomex knew?”

Janus grinned sheepishly, baring all his teeth. “Well, we’re both off the case now, so- yeah. They knew or should have known their claims would get rejected and banked on the agency not noticing for just long enough.”

Logan gasped. “But you still went into court and got the jury to agree with you that they didn’t!?”

Janus shrugged pragmatically. “It’s not about Gomex, it’s about the precedent this will set. I’d rather one bad actor get away with it now than have who-knows-how-many claims get screwed in the future for a good-faith misunderstanding.”

“Especially if that bad actor is paying you millions to help them get away with it?” Logan asked with an eyebrow raised.

Janus raised one of his own. “So you’d rather let a bad test become binding because the agency is paying you millions to get it set in stone?”

Logan, about to respond hotly, paused. “I suppose that’s a fair assessment. I didn’t think it was that bad a test until now - I assumed the insider knowledge would be baked into the standard.”

“You gotta think cynically, Mr. Finch,” Janus said with a chuckle. “Picture the worst-faith application and work backwards from there, cause you know it’ll end up happening.”

“Hmm,” Logan said with a quiet laugh. “When you’re right, you’re right.”

Janus fluttered his lashes. “The great Logan Finch thinks I’m right about something. My life’s goal is achieved.”

“Hey, I think you’re correct quite a lot!” Logan objected. “Infuriatingly precise and pedantic, sure, but ultimately right. There’s a reason my firm sends me against you - no one else wants to fight what’ll be a losing battle half the time.”

“Only half?”

“Even you must admit I’ve been correct on more than one occasion,” Logan said with a smile.

“That is true,” Janus admitted. “Knowing that you’re going to be the opposing counsel always makes me up my game.”

“The feeling’s mutual,” Logan said wryly. “I’d never admit it to the other partners, but you make me a better lawyer, Janus.”

The flattered glow of Janus’ grin was immediately dwarfed by two other, brighter bursts of light. Gold and blue pulsed from their backs in a flash, then settled into steady light. The colors lit the stylish room, blending to emerald as they pulsed in time with each man’s heartbeat. Logan looked at the glow reflected on the white couch cushions with wonder as he realized that Janus’ back  was no longer shining blue, but green. He caught his eyes and realized his own glow must have changed colors as well.

The lights pulsed more and more gently until they dimmed and went out, leaving Janus and Logan sitting across from one another just as the last of the sunlight fell below the horizon and the room went dark. 

The silence stretched for several moments, until Janus finally broke it with a bemused, “Huh.”

“So that was-”

“I think so.

“So now we’re-”

“Bonded, yeah. I think.”

“That would be a logical assumption.”

The silence returned, each man lost in his own thoughts. When they spoke again, it was at once.

“Maybe we should-”

“Perhaps we could still-”

“-make sure it’s permanent?

“-take a few days more?”

They shared a grin.

“A couple more days couldn’t hurt,” Janus said. “After all, it could be a fluke. We wouldn’t want to set a standard from a mere fluke.”

“Oh, of course not,” Logan responded with the same tone of amusement. “We want to confirm the integrity of the test.”

Janus stood to flick on a light, then turned as a thought occurred. 

“Wait, Logan - even once we go back, we won’t be able to be opposing counsel anymore. The soulmate code will still be applied, even though we’re not romantic or QP soulmates.”

Logan’s face fell for a moment, then lit up once more as he stood. “Well, we’ve got a couple days at least. I think the two best lawyers in the state might be able to argue that every precedent has an exception, don’t you, Mr. Alighieri?”

Janus’ smile mirrored Logan’s own as he replied, “Why yes, Mr. Finch, I think we might.”

[i-am-bella-donna]

Butterfly, Fly Away

AO3

Story Summary:

The Light Sides were surprised when Janus interrupted their breakfast, frantically asking for help with finding the perfect Father’s Day gift.

They were even more surprised to learn that the gift was meant for Remus.

Pairings: Platonic Moceit, Platonic Loceit, Familial Dukeceit

Word Count: 2,376

CONTENT WARNINGS: N/A

A/N: Inspired by Hissy Fits by Anonymous.

Story Theme Song: Butterfly Fly Away by Miley Cyrus

This story was inspired by the noticeable lack of Parental Remus content—and by the we need more parental Remus tag of the linked work. I enjoy seeing Remus as the parent of the Dark Mindscape.

Happy (belated) Father’s Day! The fact that this story was completed 59 minutes before midnight (and not posted on Tumblr until nearly two months later) is inconsequential.

~~~

FamILY breakfast was especially peaceful that morning.

It was Saturday—a day with minimal responsibilities, meaning there was no rush for the Light Sides to finish eating and begin their work. Instead, they were able to remain at the table long past the clearing of their plates, simply enjoying each other’s company. Patton watched with a silent smile as Roman and Virgil had yet another Disney debate, accompanied by the occasional dry commentary from Logan. All was well.

Until Janus burst through the door as though the Dragon Witch was on his tail.

“Sorry for interrupting this sitcom-worthy meal, but I need your help!” he blurted out, slamming the door shut behind him. Surprisingly, he was still in his pajamas; his hair mussed as though he had barely gotten out of bed.

Patton was immediately on his feet and racing over, brow furrowed. “Kiddo?” he asked, setting his hands on Janus’s shoulders and anxiously scanning his face. “Is everything okay?”

“No!” Janus yelled, his eyes wide as he dissolved into a frantic ramble of tomorrow and forgot and I am a despicable being.

“Glad we can agree on something,” Virgil muttered, rolling his eyes at the last sentence. Logan gave Virgil a reprimanding glance as he stepped forward, raising a palm to stop Janus’s panicked spiel.

“Now, Janus,” Logan cut in calmly. “That seems like an uncharacteristically emotionally charged statement. If you would like our help, you need to pause and take a deep breath. Can you do that?”

Patton patted Janus on the shoulder and exaggeratedly inhaled, prompting the latter to match the speed of his breathing. The other three stood back in silence, watching with varying levels of concern as Janus attempted to calm down.

“Okay, Kiddo,” Patton finally said a few minutes later, breaking the silence and moving to take Janus’s hands in his own. “Do you think you can tell us what’s going on?”

Janus took another deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. “Tomorrow is Father’s Day, and…and I completely forgot!”

Silence.

Virgil cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “You, uh…you guys still do that?” For once, he did not sound hostile as he addressed Janus, but confused. Wistful, even.

Janus, on the other hand, shot Virgil a bitter glare. “Believe it or not, Anxiety,” he bit out, “but none of our traditions ended with your leaving.”

Virgil opened his mouth, but before he could retort, he was cut off by a groan from Roman. “Can someone please slow down and explain what the heckity-heck is going on?”

“Yes, I was wondering about this as well. I was unaware that you celebrated Father’s Day in the Dark Mindscape.”

“Aw, Kiddo! That’s so cute!”

Janus hissed at their comments, ignoring the blush spreading across his cheeks. “It’s not—” He stopped himself, inhaling sharply. “Well, regardless, I might have gotten the date wrong, and now I…might be pressed for time to create the perfect gift.”

Roman snorted and waved his hands. “I’m sorry, back up for a moment—you mean to say that you have a father figure in the Dark Mindscape?!” He burst out laughing, causing Janus to shrink in on himself ever-so-slightly. Patton gave Roman a disapproving frown.

“Roman,” he chided. “That wasn’t very nice! Besides, it makes sense when you think about it. You and Logan have me, and there are more Dark Sides than Light Sides—uh, right?” The last part was directed toward Virgil and Janus, who nodded in unison. “Yeah? Yeah! Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with Janus wanting to do something nice for Father’s Day.”

Logan nodded in agreement. “Patton has a point, Janus. Might I ask who the recipient will be? If we are to help you, then context is instrumental in providing accurate assistance.”

Virgil squinted. “How are you so articulate at eight in the morning?”

Janus ignored this comment. “It’s Remus, so—”

“Remus?!”

Janus—and Virgil—paused at the abrupt shout. It was the latter, surprisingly, who furrowed his brow. “Yeah? Who did you think it was?”

Roman spun on his heels, rounding on Virgil with a flabbergasted expression. “Wait, wait, wait,” he blurted out. “Are you telling me that Remus—as in my disgusting brother—is also your—your—” His voice broke off as he stared at Virgil in disbelief.

“My dad? You can say it, Ro. It’s not a bad word.” Virgil cast Patton a look. “But that’s in the past. Patton is my dad now.”

Patton cringed, both touched and saddened at his words. Meanwhile, Roman shook his head, confusion scribbled all over his features. “How in the wide world of Shakesphere did Remus end up as your dad? He’s so vile and rotten—actually, no, that makes sense.” He glowered at Janus. “Like father, like son, after all. Though I have no idea how Virgil managed to escape the same fate.”

Janus recoiled as though he had just been physically struck, and Patton felt his own heart crack in two. However, before he could intervene, Logan stepped between Virgil and Roman, at the table, and Patton and Janus, next to the door.

“All right,” he said, his voice firm but not unkind. “Clearly, emotions are running high, so it is probably best that we stop this conversation before it gets out of hand.”

Patton nodded in agreement, still frowning at Roman and Virgil. He would speak to them later. Right now, however, it was Janus who needed their attention. “I agree with Logan,” he piped up. “I mean, I am a little surprised that Remus is your dad, but that doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with it! Besides, you came here for help with a Father’s Day gift, so that’s what we’re gonna do! Right, guys?”

Silence.

“Right.”

Surprisingly, it was Logan, of all Sides, who spoke up.

He shrugged off the questioning stares from Roman and Virgil. “What? Each year, we all make gifts for Patton as a thank-you for his role as a father figure. Clearly, Janus views Remus in a similar manner; therefore, it makes sense that he would also like to express his gratitude tomorrow.”

“But he forgot Father’s Day,” Roman said, waving his hands for emphasis. “If he’s trying to be a good son, then he’s already failed.”

“Okay—that’s enough,” Patton interrupted, trying to diffuse the tension before things could escalate once more. He would definitely be having a talking-to with Roman—and Virgil, for that matter—later. “Janus, how about you, me, and Logan go talk in my room? We can help you find a good gift, I promise.”

Janus sent a final bitter glance toward Virgil and Roman but complied, sinking out with Patton and Logan. Patton took the opportunity to scrutinize the expression of the former, his heart aching at the thinly-veiled desperation he found there. He gave Janus what he hoped was an encouraging smile. “Don’t listen to either of them, Kiddo. I think it’s sweet that you’re trying to get Remus a gift.”

“They aren’t wrong, though,” Janus grumbled, staring at the ground. “I was wrong about the date. Remus, he…I know it might be hard to believe, but he’s an amazing dad. After everything he’s done for me, he deserves better.”

Patton and Logan exchanged a sidelong glance. “Janus, if Remus is as benevolent as you claim, then I can guarantee he loves you for who you are. Surely he would cherish anything you gave him.”

“But it has to be perfect!” Janus insisted. His expression saddened. “After Virgil—after we lost him, I…” He swallowed before continuing softly. “Things were hard. But Remus—he kept fighting. Even when I could barely find a reason to keep going, he did everything to encourage me. To motivate me. I owe him so much, and I…I want him to know how much he means to me. How much I love him.”

Patton blinked. “Kiddo…” he murmured, shocked by how open Janus was being. They might have been growing closer, but there was still so much that Janus kept close to the chest. Patton had no idea how much the other had suffered. He took a deep breath. “I…as a dad, please trust me when I say that Logan is absolutely right. Remus would love anything you gave him. Just give something from the heart. Something that says how you feel.”

“Besides, this is Remus Sanders we are discussing. He would appreciate a burnt piece of toast if it was presented correctly.”

Janus gave Logan a quick glance before turning his full attention back to Patton. “But how can I manage that in time? I have one day to prepare.”

“Well, what have you done in the past?” Patton suggested.

Janus began to count on his fingers. “Breakfast in bed, homemade jewelry and keychains, a coupon book for favors, and food on several occasions, most of which ended with one or both of us getting sick.” He cringed at the memory. “Cooking is definitely out.”

Logan hummed thoughtfully before speaking. “I know I’m not a parent, but Patton, if I may?” At Patton’s nod, he stepped forward and set a hand on Janus’s shoulder. “Janus, what does Remus mean to you?”

Janus paused, appearing surprised by the question. He fell silent, drifting off into thought before speaking up once more. “…Remus found me as soon as I formed,” he finally began. “I was terrified, and he…he was so patient. I know it might be hard to imagine, but that night, when he decided to take me in, he spent hours trying to make me comfortable. That night, he promised to never abandon me—and despite how chaotic he acts, Remus always keeps his promises.” A faint smile was forming on Janus’s lips. “As the years went on, he became an amazing parent—if I had a dollar for every parenting book he stole from your library, Logan, I would be rich.”

Logan blinked in shock and Patton fought back a laugh, but Janus continued, ignoring their reactions. “Remus paid attention to every interest I had, no matter how boring he found it. To this day, he hates philosophy, but he allowed me to ramble about it for hours. When I made mistakes, he never reacted emotionally or with anger. Instead, he would sit me down and talk about the issue. He disciplined me when necessary, but he was never harsh, and he always made sure I understood why he was doing it. And…I know he can be a little wild, but he was the best parent I could have asked for.”

Suddenly, Janus froze as though remembering to whom he was speaking. He cleared his throat and blinked, glancing hesitantly between the other two. Patton was unable to stop a small smile from spreading across his lips. “It sounds like you really care about him, Kiddo,” he said softly.

Logan nodded. “If you don’t object to my asking, what’s your favorite memory of him?”

Janus raised an eyebrow, clearly not expecting the question. “…Music,” he replied. “It was something that both of us—and Virgil—loved more than almost anything. It was more than just entertainment; it was a way to communicate. A way to express our emotions when we didn’t know how. Music means everything to me, thanks to Remus. It…it makes me feel safe.” He coughed. “I know you asked for a specific memory, but there are…well, as much as I despise clichés, there are too many moments to choose from.”

Patton could not help it—he beamed as Janus finished. Beside him, even Logan was cracking a smile. “In that case, Kiddo, I’d say you already have the perfect gift.”

~~~

When Remus awoke the next morning, he did not know what he was expecting. 

But Janus standing just outside his bedroom, pajama-clad and holding a guitar, was not it.

Remus blinked before shooting the other a sleepy smile. “Hey there, Jay,” he greeted with a yawn. “What’s up?”

Janus beamed, his eyes sparkling. “Happy Father’s Day, Papa.”

Remus almost burst at the sound of the once-familiar name—the name that he had not heard in so long. Since…before. He grinned back. “Well, thanks, Snakey, but what’s all this?”

If it was possible, Janus’s smile grew even wider. “My gift to you! Come with me.” Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed Remus by the sleeve and led him into the living room, forcing him to sit on the couch.

Janus sat on the opposite end, the guitar across his lap. He took a deep breath, and Remus felt his interest grow. “This song is for you, Papa.”

And he began to sing.

“You tucked me in; turned out the light. Kept me safe and sound at night. Little Sides depend on things like that.

“Brushed my teeth and combed my hair; had to drive me everywhere. You were always there when I looked back.”

Remus pressed a hand to his mouth, shocked and touched. “Janus…”

“You had to do it all alone—make a living; make a home. It must’ve been as hard as it could be.

“And when I couldn’t sleep at night, scared things wouldn’t turn out right, you would hold my hand and sing to me…”

Janus closed his eyes, a small smile creeping across his face.

“Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you’ll be. Can’t go far, but you can always dream.

“Wish you may and wish you might. Don’t you worry; hold on tight. I promise you there will come a day…

“Butterfly fly away…”

Janus ended the song with a final strum of his guitar and bashfully lifted his head. “I…” He paused, nervously licking his lips. “I know that this was a little unconventional—it isn’t tangible or useful, but…I wanted something that showed you how much I care. How much you mean to me. I hope you liked—”

Before he could finish his sentence, he was cut off by Remus ripping the guitar from his arms and tackling him in a hug. “Janus, forget liked. I fucking loved it. I mean, I would even love a burnt piece of toast—or literally anything you gave me—but I love this even more! I…fuck, Janus. Wow.” Remus pulled away, smiling fondly at his son. “You’ve really grown into something special. I love you, Snakey.”

Janus grinned and wrapped his arms around Remus, leaning against his chest. “I love you too, Papa.”

~~~

A/N: I hope you liked it. Remus would make a good parent.

[doomstypewriter]

Excuse me while I panic

Hello, and welcome back to the sh1tshow. Today's chapter is about betrayal. Actually yes but no, it's about misunderstandings and Roman and Janus kind of talking about the issues between them. Does anything get fully resolved? Of course not. But it's a start.

Also, some quality Janus for all of you moceit shippers.

Word count: 1194 | AO3 | <<Previous

Summary: After seeing Virgil so distraught, Roman decides to confront Janus.

CW: Angst, angry crying, Roman and Janus' issues, screaming, arguing, unsympathetic Janus (from Roman's point of view though, and just at the beginning), unsympathetic Roman (same as before, this is from Janus' point of view), swearing.

Let's accuse the snake of committing heinous crimes

Like a very organised opera dressing room.

That’s how Roman would describe Janus’ room once he rose inside.

“It’d be a pity if you knocked, Roman” Janus acknowledged him without bothering to look.

He was applying some heavy moisturizer to his reptile side. The creme made his scales looked kind of fuzzy and dull. Odd choice.

Janus went still.

“Okay, guess you won’t be leaving”, he said. “What can I be so pleased to help you with, Roman?” Janus finally stared at him.

“Ew, what’s up with your eye?”

His left eye looked glazed over. The pupil a hazy shade of blue, just like the iris. It was as if a semi-opaque layer of greyish blue had been laid onto the cornea.

“I’m shedding. Thanks for asking. I love to show it off. That’s exactly why I keep to myself when it happens. But enough about me, what do you want?”

Roman frowned.

“What are you playing at?”

“I AM shedding. It happens every now and then”.

“No. With Virgil”.

“Ah. Well, you see, I am actually trying to murder him. He spends so much time at those stairs that it’s almost like he’s asking for it”.

For a microsecond, Roman had the nerve to be horrified. Janus rolled his eyes at it.

“I know I’m an excellent liar Roman, but even someone as dim as you cannot believe that I honestly intend to kill Virgil. Among other things, we cannot be killed. Remember how much Remus tries? If it were possible I’d say, by this time, you’d be dead”.

“Then what are you plotting?”

Roman wanted to punch Janus when he heard him laugh. Still, he had sort of promised Virgil not to, so he had to make do by glaring at him and hoping he would magically be set on fire.

“My, my… one wouldn’t tell if you hold me to a high standard or a really low one” Janus wiped the tears from his eyes theatrically. After that, his tone darkened. “Being me, I guess the bar must be on the floor. You make it so easy to step over it to taunt you, dear”.

His fists tightened.

‘Do not punch him’, Roman had to mentally repeat to himself.

He felt mortified when he realised that a part of him felt so angry it made him want to cry. In an attempt to maintain his barely convincing menacing aura, Roman sucked up the tears and tried to sound detached.

“How--How can you be…” so much for keeping his tone unaffected.

The reaction from Janus was hardly distinguishable from surprise, amusement or… yes, guilt, not too much, but present.

“So evil?”

“I’m not” Janus replied categorically, his mocking tone gone.

“Really? Then why do you always have to play with everyone? Why do you always have some secret agenda?”

“I do--”

“Yes you do!” Roman interrupted him, finally tearing up. “Have you any idea what you’re making him go through? Why are you so selfish?!”

Janus tensed up, letting some of the hurt show on his face.

“Being selfish isn’t bad and--”

“It IS bad when you use it as an excuse to ignore that you’re hurting people. Which is exactly what you’re doing right now! No one is asking you to stop thinking about yourself”, Roman began to laugh bitterly, “I don’t even know if you can!

“Oh, right! That’s exactly why I helped you in the first place, Roman! Because I only care about myself! Have you forgotten who was the one who tried to convince everyone to choose the… what was it? Oh, the callback you desperately wanted to go to. After wasting away in a wedding anyone would think you’d see who had your best interests in mind. But I guess--”

“Shut up! I don’t care about the callback! Not… not anymore. At least this isn’t why I came here”.

“Then what do you want from me, Roman? Did you just want to feel morally superior and gloat?”

“I want you to tell me the truth. I’m so tired. Why did you even tell me to pursue Virgil if you hate me? Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?”

After one exasperated sigh, Janus put the creme down.

Meanwhile, Roman massaged his temples.

Seeing Virgil turning into a ball because of how confused and terrified he felt had gotten to him like no other thing.

The circling motions of his fingers came to a sudden halt.

“Patton. Does he know what you’re doing? I-- he trusts you! It’s one thing to have it out for me or be all weird with Virge, but if you even think about hurting him--”

Janus smashed his hands on the dresser.

“I’d never hurt Patton!”

“How can anyone believe what you would or wouldn’t do?!” he mirrored Virgil’s earlier words.

“Let me ask you this instead, how can you be so fucking stupid to think I’d ever do something to harm him?!”

“Because Virgil thought you cared about him and you stabbed him in the back, because I thought you liked me and then you used me! You’re using me right now and I don’t know what for, how can I put it past you to have Patton--”

“I’m not using you! I’m trying to be better because I want Patton to be happy!”

Roman quieted, fully taken aback.

“Wha...what?”

Janus huffed.

“Do you need me to also spell it out for you? I love him”.

His head lowered. Janus clasped his hands together, squeezing, as he brought them to his chest in a gesture that looked almost vulnerable, as if he was trying to push every feeling out of sight.

“He wanted me to apologise. But I don’t feel like I owe you that. After mocking me as you did, I think we’re even. Still… I understood that he wanted us to get along, so I decided I could do something nice for you. But I suppose wanting to fix one of your many oversights”, Janus looked up, “is my most diabolical plan yet. Right?”

“Umm… but you could just use it to get to Virgil…” Roman began to lose his resolve.

“Or I could be using it to also do something for him”, Janus began to say as if talking to a child, “because I never stopped caring about him, and things aren’t black or white as you seem to think, and I want to make Virgil happy too. I know, groundbreaking”.

The prince froze in place.

“But why would it make Virgil happy?”

Janus half-sighed, half-laughed in disbelief.

“For fuck’s sake, Roman. Why do you think?”

“Emm… oh”.

“Why are you still here? Go and talk to him”.

Roman started to head for the door, feeling like bursting at the seams.

“Before you leave, don’t get up to any of your usual nonsense. Use your pretty mouth and talk like an actual human being”.

“Will do!”

The door bashed against the frame as Roman ran out like a headless chicken. Janus ran his hands over his face.

“Now what?” he looked at Roman peeking in again.

“Hmm… thank you, Janus”.

“Love to help, now leave!”

<<Previous | Next>>

Taglist: @itsjust-la-me , @bard-in-blue , @simplestoryteller , @winterwynd , @some-fander , @extraintrovertedalien , @the-sad-strawberry

If anyone wants to be tagged, let it be known, I'd love to tag them, so tell me in the comments.

[spicycreativity]

So that “what would your AO3 Wrapped look like” tag game that’s going around got me Googling some stuff and i found this “AO3 Year in Review” template by @\athina-blaine !!

I’m not sure if it started out as a tag game, but I’m just gonna treat it like copy & paste template (meaning: don’t bother waiting for a tag or tagging anyone! If you wanna fill it out, just copy and paste this, delete my answers, and make your own post)

Top Fandom: Sanders Sides, with 7 fics posted

Date of First Fic Posted: Seek, and Ye Shall Find, admittedly started in 2020, but completed March 2, 2021

Top Multi-Chapter Fic: By Hits/Kudos: Seek, and Ye Shall Find By Comment Threads: Soft-Shoe Shuffle

Top One-Shot: At Least it was Here I’m counting it as a oneshot even though it’s technically the first half of an unfinished fic on permanent hiatus lmao

Fic You’re Most Proud Of: Soft-Shoe Shuffle. While I did slip into a sort of hyperfocus trance state as I was working on it, I was also conscious of this sort of “leveling up��� sensation, like my writing improvement was a tangible thing. Also, I wrote a dirty sonnet in iambic pentameter and I think Shakespeare would approve

Fic You Wish Got More Attention: Not to be cheesy, but while I do absolutely adore getting comments on my fic, I’m absolutely blown away by all the lovely comments I’ve received. Every fic I published received at least one sweet, well-thought-out comment from someone who loved it, and I couldn’t ask for more than that. Even Fear in Friendship, which received 0 comments on AO3, didn’t go unnoticed because I had @\cadeorade-powercade to gas me up IRL. I’m deeply grateful for all the positive attention

Fic that Challenged You the Most: Fucking Intertwined. Oh my god. I still have three drafts of what it was supposed to be: “Destroy Everything You Touch,” the angsty Moceit slowburn that never was. But. People seemed to like Intertwined, so I’ll try not to be too frustrated skfkhdkghfd

Favorite Quote/Passage: From Soft-Shoe Shuffle. Strap in, this is a long one: Remus’ smile shattered into a laugh. “Go on, what did they do to you? Wrap you up in a blanket and make you cookies? Wash your feet with scented oils?” “Yes, right after the parade they held in my honor.” "And then they all took turns sucking your--" "Please put that image in my head." Remus just gave an apologetic shrug and settled back into the couch cushions. "So what's really going on, hm? It hasn't even been a day and you're already running back to me to bitch about it. They’re not still fighting, are they?” “Ugh, Remus.” Janus tilted his head back, pressing the back of his hand to his brow in an exaggerated swoon. Still, he was careful to keep his voice low in case anyone was listening. “They're all locked in their rooms pouting. Except for Patton, who keeps following me around like a lost little puppy. "It’s so…" A litany of words sprang to Janus' mind; to his horror 'endearing' was among them. "Ugh," he said, waving a hand vaguely. “You like it.” Remus’ grin was positively demonic. “Oh, yes, I do so enjoy having a nagging little tagalong,” Janus said, but it was too late. Remus had latched onto the idea like barnacles to a boat's hull. "You like him!" "Oh, yes, Remus, I've been planning out our wedding all day. I just love  the sad little puppy dog look he gives me whenever I try to leave the room. It was love at first self-righteous lecture." Remus' grin widened until it threatened to split his face (a very real possibility when he was involved). "The snakey doth protest too much, methinks." "No, I--" “What’s your plan?" Remus interrupted. "Going to seduce him? You going to write a love poem?” “Oh, definitely," Janus sneered. "What rhymes with ‘exasperating’?” “Masturbating? Kind of a slant rhyme, but I think you could sell it.” “Charming.” “Hey.” Remus shrugged. “You came to me for romantic advice.” “Yes, that was why I came to see you. Not to complain about how The Great American Nag won’t stop following me around and sighing wistfully about how his friends are sad, boohoo.” Remus’ eyes sparkled. “You do have a plan to deal with him.” “One that doesn’t involve seduction via dirty love poetry, I’m afraid," Janus said, making an exaggerated pouty face with accompanying hand gestures. “Boring," Remus replied. “But you’ll listen anyway because you love me ever so?” “Like flies love dookie.” Janus held up a hand to stop Remus from actually summoning a cloud of flies. “If I can at least get Logan out of his room, then Patton will stop following me around and I can get back to--” “Lusting over Daddy in the shadows?” Janus took a long, measured breath. “I’m not lusting--” “Face it, Snakehole." "Ew." "You can’t stand seeing Hot Daddicus Finch sad. You want to fix it for him. It’s funny, actually.” To illustrate his point, Remus gave a shrill, hyena cackle. "After all those nights complaining about his, what did you call it, 'saccharine simpering,' it turns out you--" he poked Janus in the chest-- "have a sweet tooth." “I--” All of Janus' instincts were screaming at him:  deny, deny, deny! But shock stilled his tongue and left him staring at Remus as a horrifying realization dawned on him. Remus seemed to reach the same conclusion at the same time. "Holy shit, was I right? I was just teasing!" If Remus were any other side, Janus would have thrown an insult at him and made a tactical retreat. Instead, he stood, fussing with his cape so he wouldn’t have to look Remus in the eye. “I have to go speak with Logan.” “That means I’m right, right?” Remus cackled again, longer this time. “Careful, Jay, you’re getting predictable.” “No, this was all according to plan,” Janus said, already walking away. “You’re just a pawn in my vast chess game.” “I prefer checkers,” Remus called after him. “Good luck! Don't forget to wear a condom!"

Total Words Posted: 152,113 Holy fuck.