#this images song: slipping through my fingers by abba

[dwightschrute11]

she loves winter

[prythianpages]

Slipping Through My Fingers | Azriel

Azriel x Green Witch | Summary: it's your baby girl's first day of school and Azriel isn't ready to let her go.

warnings: fluff/angst; some suggestiveness at the end (bonus scene)

a/n: This is part of my ABBA x ACOTAR series (masterlist) where I dedicate a song to a character (: but also my Dandelion series. I really adore this song and this was the only series I could apply it to. This can pretty much be read as a stand alone imagine. All you have to know is that reader is a witch and is an established relationship with Az.

In the quiet hush of morning, Azriel and Melaina find themselves at the breakfast table with sleep in their eyes. The floor is cloaked in their shadows, joining one another at their feet in a vast sea of darkness.

Yet, the dance of their shadows harbor distinct meanings.

Though he tries to hide it, your keen eyes pick up on the subtle poignant unease in Azriel's demeanor. An undercurrent of melancholy taints the air, prompting you to send a reassuring tug through your bond. Azriel returns the gesture, his hand finding yours across the table. Meanwhile, Melaina quietly finishes her breakfast. Her shadows, a whirlwind of nerves and excitement, betray her impassive appearance. Today is her first day of school, the precipice of a new chapter in her life, and Azriel can't help but grapple with the realization that his little girl is growing up far too quickly.

“All done, my pretty?” You ask softly, gaze alight with admiration as her small wings flutter behind her.

She’s the mirror image of her father with her captivating hazel eyes–a perfect blend of greens and browns that remind you of the nature you’re so fond of. Two braids cascade down her shoulders and delicate bangs accentuate her sun-kissed complexion. When she was born, you had joked that you had given birth to Azriel’s carbon copy and little did you know that even her personality would match his. 

Melaina nods and you rise, taking her plate to the kitchen sink. The corner of your lips lift up into a smile when you hear Azriel ask, “Are you sure you want to go to school? You can always start next year.”

“Mel is more than ready for school,” you lightly chide Azriel, who chooses to ignore your words of consolation. 

His gaze is fixed on Melaina, a plethora of scenarios plaguing his mind. He wishes he could see what’s really on her mind–to be able to foresee any worries she may have and ease her through them. The same way he’s eased her through every milestone of her life thus far. He was there when she took her first steps, when she first got hurt from tripping over a rug that he immediately disposed of after, when she said her first word–which much to your dismay was your cat’s name, Binx. 

But now, she was ready for school. Her first time being away from home without you or him or his brothers by her side. Her first time being on her own. What if the kids in her class don’t take well to her? To her shadows? He remembers the apprehensive looks he’d receive in Windhaven when growing up and the thought of anyone doing the same to her pains him. What if they are mean to her? What if they hurt her?

The obsidian tendrils at Azriel's side stir with an eerie melody, commanding Melaina's shadows to rise. They snap to attention like disciplined soldiers heeding orders. An unspoken promise unfolds—her shadows would help guide her and protect her from any lingering stare or slightest suspicion of malintent. They return to her side as she rises to her feet, tickling her sides and causing her to giggle.

 Azriel smiles and shares her laughter, capturing every minute of it, the feeling in it.

**

There’s that odd melancholy feeling again as he stands in front of the school with Melaina on one side and you on the other. He can’t help the frown that settles over his face when she wiggles her tiny hand out of his grasp to run to her cousins. You’re following after her, tugging Azriel along with you to join his brothers and their mates at the front of the school.

“Good morning, Azriel jr,” Cassian greets her with a smile, playfully tugging at one of her braids. “Are you ready for your first day?”

Melaina lets out a huff. “Of course I am, Uncle Cas.”

Cassian then looks toward Azriel, who continues to brood, and chuckles. “It doesn’t look like your daddy is.”

Azriel glares at Cassian. You leave his side to hug Feyre and the frown leaves his face at the delighted squeal that comes from you, his shadows singing in response. He turns his head to see you and Feyre exchange smiles while you gush in excitement over her growing belly. Though Feyre looks at Azriel with a knowing smile, her words are directed to you.

“Rhys was the same way with Nyx,” she muses and out of the corner of his eye, Azriel catches his brother rolling his eyes. But he doesn’t deny it.

“So was Nesta,” Cassian adds, propping an elbow on Nesta’s shoulders. She shoves him off with a shrug before chiding after their twin boys, Cardan and Calian. The aftermath of the aphrodisiac you made–or rather, remade–for her after Azriel accidentally drank the first batch.

“I’m surprised you’re faring well with this,” Feyre says with a raised brow at you.

“Well, someone has to be the strong one,” you tease, side glancing at Azriel and squeezing his hand. 

Azriel lets out a small huff, similar to the one Melaina let out earlier. He knew you were also stressed and a little sad but you were surprisingly able to hide it better than him. But unbeknownst to him, just in case the obsidian necklace she wore was not enough, you had casted a protection spell over Melaina before she went to bed…and packed her bags with a variety of charged crystals.

The gathering of students at the school's entrance slowly disperses, and Azriel tenses beside you, acknowledging the imminent moment of having to say goodbye. Nyx, ever courteous, takes it upon himself to accompany Melaina to class. Azriel suspects Feyre's influence in Nyx's gesture, as if she intuited the added difficulty for him and you. He watches as Melaina walks back to you and you lean down, gently smoothing her bangs before placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Today will be a wonderful day for you,” you affirm for her with a radiant smile, making Azriel's heart melt at the sight of the two girls he loves the most.  He wishes that he could freeze the picture and save it from the funny tricks of time. 

Your hand delicately reaches for the obsidian crystal suspended from her neck, lifting it tenderly to your lips. There’s a flash of green light that engulfs the crystal and as you release the necklace, Azriel notices the new sparkle to it. “Love you, my pretty.”

Though Melaina doesn’t verbalize it back, her eyes radiate a golden glow and the soft caress of her shadows against your face feels like a tender whisper that articulates, "I love you too.” You pull her in close, hugging her smaller frame and lean down to whisper. But Azriel’s attentive senses still catch it.

“Now hug and give your daddy a kiss so he doesn’t cry.”

Azriel resists the urge to roll his eyes. Feeling a tug on his sweater, he leans down to meet his daughter at eye level. Opening his arms expectantly, a surge of warmth envelops him as she eagerly rushes into his embrace. A tender kiss graces his cheek, accompanied by the familiar caress of her shadows against his other cheek similar to the way they had done with you. He pulls away to look at her, holding her gently by the shoulders. He knows her shadows will do well to protect her and if those aren’t enough, her older cousins are just a couple of classrooms down the hall. But he needs to hear her say it.

“What will you do if someone is mean to you?”

Melaina’s eyes light up and she steps out from his hold. True to the goddess you named her after, she's a tiny vision of nightmares and madness, as she assumes a defensive position, her shadows dancing around her.

“Kick them in the face!” She exclaims as she raises her leg up with a glare directed toward her nonexistent enemy.  “I'll make my enemies bleed.”

Cardan and Calian follow after her while Nyx wisely keeps a safe distance, amused by the spectacle of his younger cousins engaging in an imaginary brawl. Cassian watches them fondly, striking punches of his own into the air but you’re shaking your head with furrowed brows. Azriel catches the pointed look you send his way and a subtle blush overtakes his cheeks as you’ve discovered his secret. He continues to read Melaina, those books you told him not to. 

“No, Mel, that’s not–”

“That’s my girl,” Azriel grins as he rises to his feet, feeling slightly better. He rustles her bangs fondly.

The sound of the school bell echoes through the park as a final warning that class should be beginning shortly. Azriel reluctantly shrugs Melaina’s backpack off his shoulder, the small bag looking ridiculous on someone of his stature. He adjusts it on her with careful consideration for her delicate wings and feels an ache in his chest as the backpack nearly engulfs her smaller frame. 

As the faint rustling, reminiscent of rocks shifting, comes from the bag, it is Azriel’s turn to send you a subtle yet pointed look in your direction. A suppressed smile tugs at his lips when you quickly avert your gaze and he realizes he wasn’t the only one keeping a secret.

“Off you go, my little shadow. See you later.”

Once the backpack is secured to her, she takes Nyx’s waiting hand and runs off to the entrance with him. Azriel almost frowns but then, at the top of the stairs, she turns around, waving goodbye with a small absent-minded smile.

He watches her go into the school with a surge of that well-known sadness. Tears prick his eyes and though he knows he’s being dramatic, he can’t help the feeling that he’s losing her forever. His sweet little girl who keeps on growing. She’s slipping through his fingers all the time.

**

Bonus scene

Before his family could indulge in making fun of him, Azriel grasps your hand, drawing you close as he summons his shadows. The inky tendrils swirl around you both, transporting you back to the familiar sanctuary of your home.

"If this is your reaction on her first day of school, I can only imagine what you’ll be like when she has her first crush," you say, a teasing sparkle in your eyes.

Azriel's grip on you tightens. He doesn’t want to grapple further into the inevitability of his daughter's growing independence because to him, Melaina will always be his baby girl. A subtle strain echoes in his voice as he pleads, "Don't."

Easing out of his embrace, you giggle at his dramatics, strolling toward the kitchen with a lightness in your step, intent on brewing some tea. "It's just a couple of hours, Az," you reassure him.

"A couple of hours?" Azriel echoes, a pensive note in his voice as he joins you in the kitchen.

Having taken the entire week off, he had intended to be present for every moment—dropping Melaina off and picking her up during her first week at school. He didn’t plan for much other than that and he was used to spending his days off with his little family but now Melaina was off at school, leaving the two of you alone.

The kettle placed on the stove begins to whistle, harmonizing with the new thought that brews in his mind. You’re raising your steaming cup of tea to your lips, peering over at Azriel as he walks up to you. “What? You want some?” You ask, raising your cup to him.

Azriel shakes his head with a smile. Carefully taking the cup from you, he places it onto the counter behind you. He gently but firmly holds your chin, coaxing you to meet his gaze. The faint blush on his cheeks returns, a soft hue that complements the golden brilliance in his eyes as he looks down at you with adoration because you’ve given him everything he’s ever dreamed of and more.

Still, there's an insatiable desire within him for even more moments, more shared dreams, and more of you.

“Let’s have another?”

“A baby?”

Azriel nods, attentively studying your features for any nuanced emotion. He feels relief when you smile and you voice your answer without having to say anything, flooding him with love through the bond you share. The two of you had discussed having children years ago, almost two years before having Melaina. After she was born, you mirrored each other’s desires for having more but had agreed on waiting but not too long as you wanted your children to grow up together.

“We do have a couple of hours to ourselves,” you remind him again, embracing him with arms entwined around his neck, fingers brushing through the back of his hair.

He hooks his arms under your knees, lifting you up with ease and you’re wrapping your legs around his waist. He grins when your legs tighten around him and kisses you.

“Let’s not waste another second.”

a/n: hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it <3 Sorry, I skipped ahead. I do want to eventually write an imagine for when Az & reader first find out they're having a baby. That might be the next imagine for this series.

tagging: @fxckmiup

[series masterlist]

[ghostchems]

This would fuck me up so much soooo

5. looking at the mirror but the reflection isn't. looking. at. you.

With Terzo and you know I like it spicy 😊😊

a man after midnight - terzo x f!reader

a/n: so many warnings. this is super smut. 18+, mdni. this absolutely ran away from me!!! i feel like i have lost my mind but i hope you all enjoy :) 2.4k words. ao3 link.

You got back from work later than you’d liked, past midnight and far past your usual bedtime. There’s still chocolate syrup stuck to your arm as you hop into the shower, to clean that off and whatever else has stuck to you. The water is warm, falling over your delicate skin, cleansing you of the smell of ice cream and chocolate, and all the feeling contributed to work. It’s your time now, even though you will most likely just fall asleep after your shower.

Your apartment is covered in shadows and darkness, with the light in your bathroom dim and flickering and just one other desk lamp illuminated in your bedroom. The moon is hidden and the sky is starless tonight, an omen to those who notice… but you haven’t. Your brain is preoccupied with how much sleep you’ll be able to get before having to return to work. 

The shower is a quick one, not wanting to take more time away from sleep, and you step out onto the cold tile floor while wrapping your towel around you. Your mind slips for a moment, thinking about nothing in particular as you brush your teeth. When your gaze falls to the mirror, you notice your eyes don’t meet your own. Mirror you has toothpaste foaming from her mouth and is staring at the door to the bathroom.

You quickly spit out the toothpaste and look back up at the mirror but she hasn’t changed. Unease starts to crawl up your spine, shivering in your towel. The room becomes cold, the vapor from the shower dissipating and the condensation on the mirror starts to turn to frost. You open the medicine cabinet and slam it shut only to find the same image. This time her eyes flicker to stare into yours, then raises her finger to point toward the door. 

There is nowhere to go but out; you drop your towel and rush toward the door, nearly slipping multiple times. You reach the door and the lights go out, leaving you in complete darkness. Your fingers curl around the frame of the door and you peek through it. There’s nothing you can see. You slowly slip through the door, taking anxious baby steps forward. You’re telling yourself that your exhaustion is playing tricks on you, that all you need is to get into bed and shut your eyes and whatever is going on will sort itself out. 

The second you’re through the door the room comes roaring to life with black candles lining the walls glowing with green flames. You cover yourself with your arms and hands, trying to press your thighs together so you’re not exposed once your eyes fall to the bed and you realize there is a man here. He eyes you up and down, his white eye glowing green as his lips twitch into a grin. His fingers raise dramatically and he snaps them. In a blink of an eye your body is suddenly expertly wrapped up in a lush towel along with your damp hair. 

“Don’t look so surprised, carissima. You summoned me.” He stretches out on your bed, propping his head up his hand as he waggles his brows. “A man after midnight, no?” He uses his spare hand to feather through his raven hair with some strands falling into his face. His face paint cuts through the green light, highlighting the white parts of his face and making his piercing eyes stand out against his black eye paint. 

“The… the Abba song?” Your high-pitched voice cuts through the air, your face twisting in confusion. A wave of warmth washes over you, the most comfortable warmth you’ve ever felt, and you take a step toward him, your feet having a mind of their own.

“You have a need and I’m here to fill it.” He clicks his tongue and smiles, your eyes falling to his fangs. ��Come, carissima.” He pats the empty side of the bed and you immediately feel a rush of arousal explode through you, your cheeks growing hot and your breath catching in your throat. You can’t stop yourself from doing what he asks as if he is controlling you or maybe he is just impossible to resist. Still, you are apprehensive while you sit down, clutching your towel and maintaining some distance between you — which he quickly closes in on. You swear a second ago he was wearing a black button down shirt but now he’s shirtless and you take in the fine, dark hair that covers his chest.

“Work, work, work, sleep, sleep, sleep. You need some excitement in your life, bella.” He growls huskily as he brings one of his hands to your face to cup your cheek. The ache between your thighs only grows while his thumb strokes your cheek gently. You should be smacking him away from you but you find yourself disarmed by him. It’s only now that you’re so close to him that you can see the sharp horns poking out from his forehead.

“What are you?” You sound flirty and it shocks you. It’s like he’s in your mind controlling your feelings and how you react to him. He slides his finger from his cheek to your lips, ghosting it lightly across the soft skin. You feel your heart pound in your ears and you press your thighs tightly together. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” He slips his finger into your mouth and presses down on your tongue, eliciting a deep, unintentional moan from you. “Call me Terzo, carissima. And please, no more questions, eh? We are wasting valuable time.” Terzo purrs and leans in, his lips brushing against your cheek. His kisses are soft and open, carefully making his way down your cheek as they grow more feverish. 

You don’t stop him. His free hand rests on your shoulder and slides down to toy with the top of your towel as he reaches your neck, his teeth and tongue nipping and sucking along the tender flesh. Everything melts away from you, all thought and all concerns, just as he carefully tugs at your towel, slipping his hand down the front of it. His hand and mouth are impossibly hot, warming your skin and sending heat straight to your core. Terzo focuses on your collarbone, humming as he mouths along it, trailing wet kisses. He reaches up and grabs at the towel on your head, freeing you damp hair.

“Mostriciattola, you are so beautiful.” He murmurs as he lifts his head up, mismatched eyes gazing into yours. You’re speechless, your lips parted but nothing leaving them as you wet them with your tongue. Terzo groans and presses his chin against yours, both of your mouths open before he descends on it. His tongue sweeps inside your mouth, tasting you and meeting your own tongue, taking his sweet time in skimming over every inch of you. You can feel your breath being taken away by him, your mind growing hazy and the ache between your thighs growing more intense. 

“I know how to please you. I’ve seen your darkest desires, belleza.” He purrs and forcefully pushes you onto your back. Your towel falls from you, his smooth hands cupping your breasts. He rolls them between his fingers and then pinches both of them at the same time, the jolt of pain and pleasure making you whimper. “You need some attention, si?” Terzo grins, showing off his teeth before he dips down, his hot breath skimming your breast. You squirm beneath him as you whine, watching him through half-lidded eyes. He chuckled quietly before flitting his tongue across your pebbled nipple. “Don’t youuuuu?” Terzo teases, tilting his head to peer up at you with a wicked grin. 

“I do.” You whine as your body trembles. “I do, oh god, I do.” He growls in response before sealing his lips around your nipple, laving his tongue across the pebbled flesh. Your hand falls to his sleek hair, your eyes fluttering shut as hushed moans spill from your lips. Terzo pulls off of your nipple slowly then moves to the other, giving it the same attention. You feel yourself dripping between your legs and the coiling tension in your abdomen only grows. He starts to move lower, his lips and tongue teasing down your stomach, his teeth scraping against your hip bones hard enough to make you squeak. Terzo then settles himself between your legs, deep, rumbling breaths pushing past his lips as half lidded eyes flicker up to your face and then down to your sex.

He leans down and kisses at the inside of your thighs, his sharp nails stroking at your legs. It’s slow and sensual, his fingertips heating up your skin and his lips gently massaging. He gives a shuddered breath as his mouth hovers over your sex, unable to hold back a groan once his tongue meets your slick folds. Terzo wraps his arms around your legs and buries his face between them, his nose pressed firm against your clit and his mouth devouring you. Your fingers knot in his hair, your hips rolling in time with his tongue against you. The taste of you on his tongue makes him moan, the vibrations of the sound reverberating through you as he continues his slow pace of working against your folds. 

His mouth is intoxicating. Never have you felt this insane from getting eaten out. Terzo’s movements grow more sloppy, his tongue fluttering along you before focusing on your clit. He seals his lips around it, sucking and gliding his tongue across it. Your hips jerk and you cry out, your abdomen tensing with each lick. His fingers push against your entrance, teasing and applying just the right amount of pressure to make you squirm. He pushes them in to his knuckles, giving a pleased grunt at how easily they slipped inside. Terzo curls them again and again against that spot deep inside you, sucking on your clit in perfect rhythm as screams rip from your throat, your hips stuttering and jerking from the sudden overstimulation. 

The pleasure is too much for you. Your body shakes and shudders, your nails digging into his scalp as you start to feel yourself become overtaken. A choked sob leaves your lips and you cum around his fingers, your eyes rolling back as your head hits the soft bed. He doesn’t stop though, his fingers still working you over and over again. Terzo pulls his mouth off of your swollen clit and rests his chin on your hip, wild eyes staring up at you as he continues curling his perfect fingers inside. 

“One more for me, belleza.” He sounds so nonchalant, so unworried, while your senses are on fire. You can’t bring yourself to speak, only sounds of desperation and thrill leaving your lips. Your hips writhe and twitch, and you let go of his hair only to grab onto the sheets as your gut tightens and your vision blurs. The tension snaps and you cum again. You can hardly feel your legs and your head feels light, your vision coming back only to see him smirking above you. You roll your eyes at him but are still unable to speak, instead catching your breath as you start to relax against the bed.

“Oh, I’m not done yet, mostriciattola.” He hisses and undoes his slacks, his perfect cock falling out of them. Before you can respond, his one hand curls around your throat, nails digging into your neck as he squeezes. You give a surprised yelp and then a scream once he slams his cock inside you. Terzo’s hips piston into you, his teeth bared as he snarls low in his throat. His eyes look like they’re glowing and the nails pressing into your neck feel impossibly sharp, threatening to break the skin. One of your hands clutches his wrist while the other grasps his forearm. You’re only able to gasp and give deep moans, his cock massaging your inner walls relentlessly. 

You feel like you’re dead on arrival, unable to even stand a chance against his monstrous cock. Your abs tense and you struggle to breath against his grip on your throat. His perfect hair is messy and he looks positively devilish as he squeezes your throat even tighter. You gasp for air, the combination of the lack of oxygen and the way his cock mercilessly fucks into you sending you over the edge. There are tears in your eyes as you cum and the orgasm is delicious. He quickly lets go of your throat and lowers himself on top of you, his hands curling behind your shoulders as he drives himself home. His hips snapping, his eyes boring into yours as he growls, so extremely focused on chasing his own release. You grab onto him and meet his hips with each thrust, and he can’t help but give a surprised groan, his lips hovering just over yours.

“Oh, sathanas.” Terzo hisses and buries his face in your neck, ragged breaths and low moans filling your ear. His thrusts slow to a stop and he stays there on top of you for what feels like a long while. You don’t know what else to do so you rest your hands on his back, hesitating for just a moment before you start to rub at it. He stiffens and then melts into the touch, closing his eyes while he catches his breath.

Suddenly, the green flames go out, the candles disappear and the lighting returns back to normal. In a blink of an eye he’s dressed in his silk black dress shirt and slacks, and you’re in a matching royal purple pajama set. 

“You’re leaving?”

“Ah, si. I’ve completed my assignment, carissima.” He smiles cheekily. 

“You could stay.” This creature had just been inside you but you still sound shy and a blush creeps up your cheeks. 

“You’re serious?”

“Well, yeah.” You are surprised by how unsure he looks as if no one has ever asked him to stay the night. Maybe it wasn’t part of his typical summoning but surely one person had to have asked, right? You cross your legs on the bed and start to mess with some of the covers. “You don’t have to… but you could stay.” 

Terzo eyes wander up and down your figure then focuses in on your face, his brows knit together. Something is going on behind his eyes, like he is thinking and overthinking about something. He ends up giving a deep sigh, as if he’s given up, and dives into the bed next to you, his arms immediately finding you and pulling you in close.

“If I didn’t know any better, I would think you have a little bit of a crush on me, mostriciattola.” 

[fixfoxnox]

Please, talk about the behind the scenes of the fic. The fic is consuming my mind for the past 2 weeks, I need mooooreeee

I had a couple of people ask for behind the scenes stuff, and I'm always ready to scream about this fic so I'm gonna drop some for you! I'll post some more a bit later as well

So fun fact, there are actually like 2 songs on my playlist for this fic that will probably not get used for chapters simply because I've been trying to keep the chapters to country songs only, so let's just share those:

We have Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA which was actually on repeat in my brain for the first chapter of this fic and always makes me think about Roach's family in this new life. Like first of all, can you guys imagine how heart breaking it would be fore them to see their child suffering and not having any idea why or how to try to help?

Like I just imagine Roach having nightmares about his death and about Simon and he just wakes up screaming in the middle of the night. Like his parents both rush into the room and they just hold and rock their sobbing child. They try to ask whats wrong but he just keeps babbling nonsense about a fire and about a boy named Simon. And they have no idea how to handle this, but they try to hide it from their son. Of course Roach is older than they know, so he figures it out and starts withdrawing, but to them its just like their son is suffering and they've somehow fucked up because he's not talking to them anymore and he's still crying and screaming but he's trying be be quiet now.

And even worse is like when they realize how he flinched around them, how scared he is to ask for help, how terrified he gets the first time one of them raises their voice at him. I have such a clear image of his mother getting frustrated with one of his brothers one day while he's there and she just snaps at his sibling and when she turns around Roach is just pale and shaking and completely shut down. She cries into her husband's arms later.

They take him to therapy and they do what they can for him but it just isn't working and instead its like Roach cuts himself off more. So like you have this family who love Roach, they adore him. He's their son/baby brother, but they all feel like they never really even got a chance with him because something was wrong and they couldn't figure out what it was. And they feel like they never really got that time with him that they needed because of this, then now that he's older he's never home and they only get to see him on rare occasions. And despite the fact that he never comes home, they just love him so much.

Essentially, Roach's family feel like they've fully missed out on their time with Roach because he's still haunted by his past. And this even works in the opposite because Roach feels like he never really got to be a part of this family because of his past.

The other song is Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier which, if you know the song, I'm sure you can understand why.

I've actually seen a lot of people say that this song is very SoapGhost with dead Roach kinda thing, but we all know how I feel about that (😤) and I personally like it better as repurposed for this fic from Roach's perspective.

Like the "Same kinda music haunts her bedroom, I'm almost me again, she's almost you" like tell me that isn't Roach with Soap and Ghost (Ghost particularly) or the "I've got some color back, she thinks so too, I laugh like me again, she laughs like you"

Like there have for sure been times where Roach would be talking to Soap or Ghost and would just forget that it wasn't the Soap and Ghost from his first life that he was talking with.

Particularly I imagine it happened with Ghost a lot early into Roach's time on the 141. Like times when Roach would be casually talking with Ghost and just forget until suddenly Soap is there and he's violently reminded that this isn't his first life and that's not his Simon.

And I feel like Roach views his happiness through the lens of his old life and how close he can get back to it (which 🤭 is going to be something we'll be dealing with later in the fic). So like he doesn't think he can ever be as happy as he once was, but he always feels like he's so close, just right there to having everything again only to come back to himself.

Also, every time I hear this song I just imagine Roach and Ghost in their first life dancing together (likely to an older song that was one of ghosts favorites, just something boppy, feel free to drop song ideas)

But, I just imagine the song comes on at some point during the current life and Roach just immediately forgets himself and starts kinda dancing around to it. Price makes a comment about how much he seems to like the song and Roach turns to the 141 excitedly to explain himself only to stop when he see's the odd looks he's being given, particularly from Ghost and he's just reminded again that this isn't his first life. I think hearing the song at all after that makes him feel violently sick and there have probably been times where it comes on and he has to excuse him before he just starts sobbing.

I really didn't mean for this to get so sad, but like...this fic is just packed full of sad stuff man

Leaving on a happy note tho, I like to imagine that eventually, one day he's with Soap and Ghost when a song comes on a d one of them just jokingly goes "guys this is our song :)" and Roach just immediately becomes attached to it and listens to it to think of the two of them.

(Also i promise I'll try to make the next bts post a bit fluffier lol)

[beneditahipolito]

BLACKPINK: Rosé & Lisa - Video Edit

Lastly, I decided to analyse this video edit because it is the one that touches my heart the most. I dedicated it to my sister, who is currently in another continent, as a way to connect us between the thousands of kilometres, a feeling I believe every film director attempts to portray in their work.

These two girls in the video are our favourite members of a girl group called BLACKPINK and I felt it was adequate to use clips of both of them together. People connect to characters, music artists, actors and many other figures they can look up to, and adding a song as emotionally connecting and touching as "Slipping Through My Fingers" by ABBA was the perfect way to make this video edit even more moving.

The video begins with a segment from BLACKPINK's Documentary: Light Up the Sky of Lisa telling the story of their friendship where the song is lower and muffled. I took my time to add subtitles so that what she is saying can be understood and to make a warm and aesthetically pleasing background to fit the mood of the song and Lisa's calm voice. The video then transitions to many happy clips of the two smiling, playing around and having fun. I increased the brightness and contrast between every clip, whether it was a zoom out, the placement of an image or even a change of emotion, one example would be Lisa turning her face away smiling and the whole screen brightening up.

This one is by far one of my favourite video edits I have ever done.

Software: Adobe After Effects 2020

[fawnatrix]

Fuck it. ABBA-song assigning some of my favourite Bleach characters as I try to make my way through their entire discography. Some get two because I’m chronically indecisive.

Jūshirō - Thank You For The Music (idk why there’s no real correlation I just always think of him when I hear it), and Chiquitita (friendship being such an integral part of his character is so important to me actually)

Mayuri - Slipping Through My Fingers (his relationship with Nemu is everything to me. I wish we got more of Mayuri being a parent, for comedic potential and for angst like this song)

Shinji - Angeleyes (Aishin vibes. Enough said)

Shunsui gets a few because he’s the special little ABBA man - Knowing Me, Knowing You (very upbeat but has surprisingly sad lyrics- the inevitable breakup vibes gives me Shunuki in TYBW vibes), Disillusion (same vibes as the last one but way more depressed-sounding), Lay All Your Love On Me (shunuki my beloved), Does Your Mother Know, and Dancing Queen (they just fit his vibes)

Kisuke - Money, Money, Money (it just fits his vibes idk what else to tell you. It’s about money but it’s also about ~power~), Cassandra (Kisuke as a parallel to Cassandra of Greek Mythology fame is something that I didn’t connect until,,, like just now. But it’s so good) and Voulez-Vous (there are many images that I could conjure, thinking of Kisuke and this song. Some include Shinji)

Nemu - The Name Of The Game (Nemu slowly making friends outside of the Twelfth,,,, and learning how to be a person outside of her role as lieutenant and daughter and assistant,,,,it’s all about growth, baby), Should I Laugh or Cry (this is her and Mayuri in general) and Under Attack (idk why really with this one- the robot vibes are cool and match how Nemu’s stoicism can come off to people- in-universe and out- as robotic. I have the least explanation for this one to be completely honest it just,,, matches her vibes)

I could probably do more but I’ve focused on this for too long and I have to do something else before I implode.

[marvelmadam08]

Heartbeat

Part of 100 Days of Marvel

Prompt 27: She’s making a run for it/ Prompt 51: I have a heartbeat

Warnings: Angst, swearing, difficult pregnancy and childbirth, slight fluff at the end

A/N: I swear I saw the GIF of him crying then I started crying. Sorry if I made anyone else cry.

~~~~~

You groaned loudly and painfully, something was wrong, you just knew it. Each contraction was worse than the last, your nurse tried to keep you calm until your husband got there but nothing helped.

“Where is he?” you cried, clutching onto Anthony’s arm. 

You were early, three weeks early to be exact. Anthony was checking in on you when it happened, he found you bent over the couch, using it to support yourself, and practicing your breathing techniques. Who knows how things would’ve ended if he wasn’t there to take you to the hospital. You had gotten to the hospital in record time, the room was ready, and everything was going as according to plan except for your missing husband and the underlying sense of danger you felt.

“I’m sure he’s almost here.”

“No, something’s wrong Mack. I know it.” You rubbed soothing circles on your stomach “Go find him.”

“I don’t think I should leave.”

“Fine, then I’ll look for him.” you went to sit up but was forced back to the bed when another contraction ripped through your body. You clamp down on his hand, digging your nails in “Where’s the fucking doctor! I need her now. I’m telling you something is wrong.” 

“You gotta breathe, your blood pressure is extremely high right now.” the nurse warns you, but you ignore her

“I heard there was an accident not too far from here. What if it’s him? Mack, please go find him.” tears were streaming down your face now

You, Anthony and the nurse turned to the door when it opened. Your husband was panting, he’d been running for the last five blocks trying to get to the hospital. The accident causing a major traffic jam, with no other choice he got out and ran the rest of the way. He’s pretty sure the car is gonna get towed for blocking a lane, but right now he could care less.

“You’re late.”

“And you’re early.”

Sebastian rushed over to the bed, nearly pushing Anthony out the way. He kissed the top of your head, but you screamed in response. The beeping on the heart monitor increased, your grip on Sebastian’s hand started to slip. Everything starts to go in and out of blackness.

“Someone get a doctor in here!” you heard the nurse yelling 

“Baby?....What’s happening?”

“Placental abruption.... her blood pressure is too high.”

“Emergency C-section.”

“.....Seb....”

Someone placed an oxygen mask over your face.

“I’m right here.” Sebastian’s voice echoed, you could only see his eyes. He was crying.

“She’s losing a lot of blood.”

“...can’t.... baby’s heart rate..... dangerously low.”

“Baby?” you could hear the sobs in his voice “Dragostea mea ... rămâneți cu mine ... vă rog.” (My love... stay with me... please.)

“I have a heartbeat.”

Sebastian replayed the video on his phone of you at five months pregnant, singing to the small bump. You were swaying to your own voice, smile as bright as the day he met you.

You thrill me, you delight me You please me, you excite me You're are all that I've been yearning for I love you, I adore you I lay my life before you I only want you more and more And finally it seems my lonely days are through I've been waiting for you

‘What song is that?’ he asked over the video

‘I’ve been waiting for you by ABBA. I’m gonna sing it when we meet our little girl. And for every single baby we have.’

‘You gonna learn how to sing it on key by then?’

You stuck your tongue out at the camera, before turning to the side to show off your baby bump again.

‘You like my singing don’t you sweetie? Daddy’s just jealous.’

He sat in silence while you continued to sing, wiping another tear away when the video stopped. 

After all this time, he still couldn’t get the image out of his head, the sight of you lying motionless on that table, the silent newborn in the nurse’s arms, his heart felt icy whenever he thought about it, which was a lot more these days. Two years later, and it weighed on him everyday. He blamed himself, he shouldn’t have left you by yourself. His therapist said he shouldn’t, telling him that feeding off that pain would only cause more trauma.

He hit replay on his phone.

“She’s making a run for it!”

Sebastian looked up from his phone. Anthony chased after his goddaughter, the small brunette giggle each time she ‘escaped’ Anthony’s grasps.

“Daddy he’p.” she jumped into Sebastian’s lap, her tiny arms wrapped around his neck

“What’s up Princess?” he sniffled, wiping away any stray tears

“She doesn’t want to go to bed.” Anthony ruffled her hair

“No bed.” she shooed him away

“Yes bed, otherwise the sleep monsters are gonna get ya!” Anthony pretended to jump at her. She shrieked and held onto Seb even more.

“Alright Mack, I got her.” Sebastian cradled her into his arms, slipping his phone into his pocket

“Watch out for her, she’s slippery.”

“Or maybe you’re just getting old.” Sebastian smirked “Right Princess?”

“Yeah!”

He carried her up to her room, the walls decked out with princess themed wallpaper with tiny castles and crowns across it. She crawled into her bed, it was still a bit big for her, but she’d grow into it. Once she was tucked under her covers and her sleeping toy was chosen for the night, Seb hoped that the rowdy toddler would’ve finally settled down enough to sleep.

“Story Daddy.” she smiled up at him

“No, it’s bedtime.” She lets out a whine, pouting and batty her eyelashes. She has your eyes, Seb could never resist those eyes. “How about a song?”

“Mommy’s song.”

He sniffled again “Yeah we can sing Mommy’s song.”

I, I have known love before I thought it would no more Take on a new direction Still, strange as it seems to be It's truly new to me That affection

Sebastian smiled when he watched her eyes light up, yours would do the same when he sang.

I, I don't know what you do You make me think that you Will change my life forever I, I'll always want you near Give up on you, my dear I will never

You thrill me, you delight me You please me, you excite me You're all that I've been yearning for I love you, I adore you I lay my life before you I only want you more and more And finally it seems my lonely days are through I've been waiting for you

With a loud yawn she closed her eyes, half humming the rest of the song. Anthony watched from the doorway as Seb kissed the top of your daughter’s head and turned off the lamp, only leaving the night light on.

“Goodnight Sabrina.”

She muttered back a response that was cut off by soft, nasally snores.

“You okay man? Kinda look like shit.” Anthony whispered

“Yeah, I know. I’m fine.” he followed Anthony into the hall “Thanks for coming by, she loves hanging out with her Uncle Mackie.”

“It’s godfather to you, you wanna kiss the ring? I’ll make you do it.” Anthony chuckled when Sebastian finally, genuinely, laughed “C’mon I’ll help you clean up.”

They both made their way back downstairs, picking up trails of toys and crayons in their path. Once everything was put away, they settled into the couch each with a beer in hand and exhausted eyes.

“That little girl of yours is a ball of energy. I don’t even think my kids would’ve been able to keep up.”

“Yeah, she’ll give the energizer bunny a run for his money. I wouldn’t trade it for the world though.” Sebastian failed at fighting his loud yawn “Damn, it might be past my bedtime.”

“Does that mean you’re actually gonna get some sleep? Because again, and I say this because I care, you look like shit.”

“C’mon Mack, you know I can’t sleep. I just- can’t.” Sebastian played with the ring on his left hand, tears spilling once more “I keep having this nightmare, she’s there in the kitchen, singing, holding Sabrina, then I turn around and they’re b-both on that goddamn table, or in a casket.”

“Hey, it’s alright man.” Anthony pulled Sebastian in for a hug “It’s okay to not be okay. I learned that from someone.”

“What dumbass taught you that?”

“You did.”

“Seb?” You rubbed your eyes as you walked into the living room, seeing him and Anthony on the couch, tears running down his face and tired eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“You shouldn’t be up, the doctor’s said you shouldn’t be on your feet.” Sebastian rushed over to you only to guide you to the couch so you could sit. You were ready to argue with him, but once you sat down the ache in your back and feet let up “I thought you were asleep.”

“I was, but someone woke me up.” you point to your rounded stomach “Your son doesn’t understand that I like sleeping at night with the rest of the world.”

“Speaking of sons and sleep, I should go.” Anthony gives you an awkward side hug before standing “I’ll let myself out. Goodnight y’all.” he placed his hand on your stomach “Night little man.”

You smiled after him, waiting to hear the door close before speaking again.

“Are you sure everything is okay? You’re not hungry? You don’t feel sick or any discomfort?”

“Sebastian, I’m fine.” You rubbed his cheek “You, however, look like shit. When was the last time you slept?”

He sighed and softly laid his hand on your stomach “Around eight months ago.”

“Talk to me Seb, what’s wrong?” 

“I watched you die in that room. Your heart stopped, Sabrina wasn’t breathing, I watched everything I love slip through my fingers all at once. And then, after a minute that felt like an eternity and a day, you both just take your first breaths together.” he shook his head “I can’t sleep, I’m always checking on ‘Brina or you and the baby. I’m freaking out every second of the day because I’m afraid.”

“Of what?”

“That if one heartbeat stops so will the others.”

“Oh Seb, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere and neither is Sabrina.” you cradled his face in your hands “And I’m scared too, when you’re away filming, I try not to think about things that go wrong with planes. Sabrina fell off the bottom step the other day and I practically bubble wrapped her.” You moved one hand top of Seb’s “And when he doesn’t move, even if it’s for five minutes, I hear that nurse saying his heart rate is low. We have everything to be afraid of, but everything to live for too.”

“You are unbelievably brave.” Sebastian’s hands rubbed across your stomach, the baby pushed against him before moving to one side and finally settling down. “Is he asleep?”

“I think so, guess he just missed his Daddy.” you ran your hands through his messy hair “Help me up, I’m going to bed. And you’re coming with me.”

“Yes Ma’am.” Sebastian followed behind you, his hands never left your back or stomach, not even when you slid back into bed. “I’m not holding you too tight am I?”

“No, Seb this is perfect.” you rest your head against his chest “I love you.”

“I love you too.” he pressed his lips to your temple and continued to rub your stomach

You hummed softly, to the baby and to Seb, and for the first time in months he finally got some rest.

[39isabop-blog]

We Belong Together (Brian May x Reader)

So it’s Brian and your wedding day, and he has several surprises in store for you. I had so much fun writing this, and it was super inspired by what came on my playlist when I was writing. 

Word Count: 1800

Warnings: Literally none? It’s so fluffy I could die.

Songs mentioned: “We Belong Together” by Ritchie Valens, “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac, “December 1963 (Oh What a Night)” by Frankie Valli, “Dancing Queen” by ABBA, “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles, and “Rich Girl” by Hall and Oates.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wake up to the sound of Richie Valens’ “We Belong Together” and the smell of coffee drifting across your apartment. You hear soft singing coming from the kitchen, “You’re mine and we belong together. Yes, we belong together for eternity.”

“Brian?” you ask, sleep grogging your voice.

He peeks his head into the doorframe, causing you to laugh. He has the most adorable bedhead. “Yes, dear?” he asks.

“Are you ready?” you sit up in bed, pulling a blanket around your shoulders.

“I’ve been ready for months, Y/N.”

You grin, “You know what I mean. Are you ready to get married today?”

Brian steps into the bedroom, already wearing his suit. You gasp. It’s a black velvet jacket with wide silk lapels worn over the white silk shirt he knows drives you crazy. You climb out of bed and cross the room to take a closer look at him. “So when do I get to see your dress?” he asks.

“You’ll see it in a bit,” you tease, “after I put it on.”

You walk into the kitchen where Brian has already prepared your coffee and set out a muffin for your breakfast and sit down at your small table. Brian sits across from you and you catch him staring at you. “What?” you ask.

“Nothing, I’m just thinking of how in two hours I can call you Mrs. May,” he blushes.

You finish your coffee quickly and return to your bedroom. You kept the dress hidden in a black bag in your closet so Brian couldn’t see what it looked like. Of course, you’d caught him on several occasions trying to take a peek in the bag, but you’d stopped him.

You put on the dress and quickly do your makeup and curl your hair. The wedding would already be very DIY, so you couldn’t justify having someone else do it for you. You take a quick glance at yourself in the mirror and nearly don’t recognize yourself. You look like yourself, but elegant and refined. The bodice of the dress is lace, with a boat neck and sleeves that go to your elbows. The skirt is tulle and falls to a tea-length. You had crafted a birdcage veil from a headband and netting.

You step out into the living room. “Brian?” you call softly.

Brian walks in from the kitchen and stops halfway across the living room. “Y/N… You’re stunning.”

“And you brushed your hair!” you laugh, attempting to lighten the mood.

You leave the apartment and hop in Brian’s car. He drives with one hand, the other holding yours. The ceremony was to be at Roger’s new house with the grand back garden. The sun was shining, rare for an English spring day. Cars were already parked in the drive when you arrived. You both climb out of the car and walk into Roger’s house. He’s decorated his foyer with pink peonies, your favorite flower. You wonder who told Roger to do that, but you appreciate it nonetheless. Brian continues to the back garden, but you take a seat on Roger’s staircase to collect yourself.

Your parents wouldn’t be at your wedding and you suddenly felt their absence. Your mother died when you were a child and your father had passed away quickly several months ago. No one was going to walk you down the aisle, no one to have a last dance with. Tears collected in your eyes, but you steeled yourself to avoid ruining your mascara.

“Y/N?” you hear a voice softly call from behind you.

You turn around to see Brian’s bandmate John walking down the stairs. “Oh, hey,” you reply with a sniffle.

“Are you alright? This doesn’t have to happen today…” he takes a seat on the stair next to you.

“No, I’m just thinking about how I wish my parents were here to see this. My dad loved Brian, and I just wish he was here to walk me down the aisle,” you sigh.

John offers you a tissue out of his jacket pocket and you gladly accept it. “Are you doing it alone? Because if you want me to walk you down, I’d do it.”

“Really?” you smile, though tears are still in your eyes.

“Yeah, I’d be honored to give away Brian’s girl,” he smiled, “Anyway, I’m the only one in the band you didn’t give an official job.”

“You’d be my maid of honor?” you laugh. Roger was Brian’s best man, and Freddie was officiating.

“Maid, man, whichever works for you!” John reaches an arm around you and hugs you to his side. “You mean the world to all of us and you make Brian so happy. That can’t be easy to do. We all love you.”

You almost start crying again for a different reason, but hear someone plodding down the stairs behind you. “Darlings, we’ve got a ceremony to start!” Freddie cries.

You glance behind you and begin to laugh. You had told Freddie he wasn’t allowed to wear his favorite white suit for your wedding, so here he was, in daffodil yellow. Freddie takes a step around you and John so he can dash outside to the back garden. You hear a string quartet tuning up, another surprise. You had planned to just play a 45 on a turntable to walk down the aisle, preferably “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac, your favorite song.

John helps you stand and walk down the last few stairs and leads you to the garden. More peonies line the hallway. “Do you need a bouquet?” John asks.

You nod, and John pulls a few flowers from a vase. “Thank you. For everything,” you whisper.

John hooks his arm through yours and you hear the string quartet swell, but then quiet again. Chairs creak as guests stand to face you. The sun shines down perfectly from above, slightly blinding you, but your eyes adjust to see Brian holding an acoustic guitar at the other end of the aisle. He nods to the violinist and begins strumming. You recognize the song instantly-- “Landslide.” But instead of Stevie Nicks’ haunting vocals, Brian sings, “I took my love, I took it down, climbed a mountain and I turned around…”

You and John begin the slow march down the aisle, crunching on dried rose petals scattered on the aisle runner. You lock eyes with Brian, praying that you can save this image for the rest of your life.

You reach the end of the aisle just as Brian finishes the song. “We are here today,” Freddie begins, “to celebrate love. There are operas, plays, novels, and songs dedicated to it, but what is love? I think we can all agree that these two have shown us the answer. Brian, dear, do you have vows?”

“Y/N, when I met you, I felt something that I had never felt before. Sure, I’ve heard it described before, but I had never felt real love. You showed me what I had been trying to write about, you gave my words meaning. You make me… You’re my heart, you’re my love,” Brian says.

“Bri, I couldn’t say it better. You are my family. You love me even when I think I don’t deserve it. You love me through my life becoming a mess and you make me whole again. I’m stronger with you than I could ever be standing on my own,” you reply.  

“Rings?” Freddie asks.

Roger, standing beside Brian, shuffles around in his pockets. “Aha! Didn’t lose them after all!” he exclaims, handing Freddie the rings.

“Give me your right hands,” Freddie instructs, and you and Brian put out your hands. “Now, at the same time, I want you to put the rings on each other. Remember, third finger on the left hand, darlings!”

You slip the ring on Brian’s long fingers, hands slightly shaking with excitement, and he does the same. “You may kiss!” Freddie announces.

Brian tugs you forward into him by your waist and your faces collide in a mixture of joy and ecstasy. The guests jump to their feet to applaud. Your hand squeezes Brian’s and you begin laughing when the string quartet begins playing “Oh, What a Night!” You two nearly run back down the aisle and into Roger’s house and into his front living room and close the door. You nearly tackle Brian into the sofa, kissing him as you both tumble down.

“Did you like it? I know it wasn’t what you planned, but I wanted surprises,” Brian explains.

“Oh my gosh, it was perfect,” you say breathlessly.

“Good, because there are more to come.”

You stay alone together in the room for nearly another hour, simply relishing the feeling of being Mr. and Mrs. May. “No one can go in there on penalty of death,” you hear Freddie warn. You smell food cooking and hear even more guests arriving.

Finally, your moments of calm are interrupted by a knock on the door. Roger walks in. “The reception’s ready. Are you? You can take a few more minutes if you’re not, it’s your party,” he asks.

“No, let’s go,” Brian stands and guides you to your feet.

“Good! Let’s get the party going!” Roger dashes out.

You walk down the hallway and into the back garden. It’s been transformed into a dance floor lined with dining tables. All the peonies have been moved outside and fairy lights are strung overhead. “Dancing Queen” by ABBA begins playing and Brian scoops you off your feet. “I couldn’t wait until we get home to do this,” he whispers in your ear.

You see John and Roger already out on the dance floor, trying to outdo each other in silliness. Freddie stands on the sidelines, camera in hand as instructed by Brian. The dance floor clears as the opening strums of “Here Comes the Sun” plays over speakers.

Brian puts you back on your feet and you begin dancing together, your dress spinning out as he twirls you. You notice that he hasn’t stopped smiling since you were pronounced married.

Dinner begins as Hall and Oates’ “Rich Girl” plays. You and Brian sit in the center of a long table set up at the head of the dance floor. John sits to your right and Roger sits to Brian’s left. Freddie has a chair next to Roger, but he never comes to his seat. He’s too busy circulating among the guests, chatting up anyone who looks mildly interesting.

You spend the rest of the afternoon and night dancing, never leaving Brian’s side. Just after the sun sets, Brian announces, “Ladies and gentlemen, can we cut the lights?”

All the lights of the house and back garden are turned off. “Look up, dear,” Brian says softly.

You gasp. Meteors criss-cross the sky above you. “Make a wish, love,” Brian says.

“I don’t need to wish for anything,” you reply, “All my wishes came true today.”

[startrekdescribed]

[Video Description: An animatic of Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation, set to the song Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA. In the video, Data picks up Tasha Yar's funeral holo-recording and looks at the tiny holo-image of Tasha sadly. The camera then moves to show the recording of Tasha on its own. Data reaches for it, and the screen cuts to a glitchy flashback of Data touching the real Tasha's face. The flashback cuts to Tasha smiling and facing away from Data while holding his hand, then to Tasha laying on the ground, dead. In the flashback, Data holds Tasha's face gently. It then cuts back to Data holding the recording. He looks distraught and ends the recording as he starts crying yellow tears. The video then ends. /end Description]

I got really sad this morning thinking about the fact that data keeps a copy of Tasha’s funeral recording on his desk

[arimxri]

&&. is that ( lily james )?? no, it’s just ( ariel marina di savoia de bragança ). she is a ( princess ) of ( portugal ). she is ( 24 ) years old and her birthday is the ( 11 ) of ( july ) which makes her a ( cancer ).  she is ( effervescent & passionate ) and ( whimsical & emotional ) but, unfortunately, also ( impulsive & fickle ). those traits just make her a ( gryffindor ) and in scientific terms an ( isfp ). she is ( bisexual ) and the plaza’s ( mediator ).  her theme song is ( slipping through my fingers ) by ( abba ). her interests include ( rock climbing & camping ). she’s a ( catholic ) and a supporter of ( ps ). her quirk is ( pealing of her nail polish when nervous ) and favourite quote is ( i'd woken up early, and I took a long time getting ready to exist. ) by ( fernando pessoa ) because ( it’s prime emo™ right there ). last but not least she ( does ) believe in true love.

her favourite Disney princess is actually Mulan- i knOW RUDE

was kidnapped and that lead to Portugal going batshit crazy - present-day Helen of Troy if you really think about it.

anyways - first and for most like this or hmu for plots. thanks.

CHILDHOOD AND BASIS

Ariel, Ari for short, is the 3rd child of the current King and Queen of Portugal 

She was always quite an agreeable and happy child - even if she was by no stretch of the word an angel and had her rebel moments, being the baby of the fam for so long (She was 13 when her younger brother was born) made it quite hard to shed that image. 

Especially when compared to her siblings #shade

She loves the fact she has such a big family both in Portugal and in Italy and spends as much time as she can with both. 

Meaning her life is all holidays - you’ve heard it here first

on her and Biel’s 18th birthday, the royal Portuguese fam got a matching tattoo (minus Nando) caUSE THEY’RE GOALS™ LIKE THAT - it’s two roses and it’s on their wrists

She loves the outdoors and does a few “extreme sports” 

especially loves rock climbing but also regularly does snowboard, parkour and deep diving and loves trying other crazy, adrenaline-inducing, things at least once.

THE KIDNAPPING

She was actually on her way to one of her little rock climbing expeditions, in October 2016, to a mountain in the north of Spain when she was kidnapped. 

She had security teams with her at first but this made moving slow and the whole thing less fun. So over the years, various turned into one bodyguard (WC!!).

The two were caught by surprise in the woods - the bodyguard was shot and left there and they took Ari

Sometimes she wonders what would have happened if her bodyguard hadn’t been able to call for backup that same day.

It took 4 days for her kidnappers to make demands to her family but by that point, she was already being looked for.

She was in captivity a total of 13 days. 

she was diagnosed with Traumatic Amnesia afterwards and doesn’t remember most of her captivity - other things diagnosed post-kidnapping was night terrors and sleepwalking and her OCD got a lot worst.

THE AFTERMATH

She started being followed almost daily by a psychologist - though she already was followed by one since early childhood for mild OCD.

The kidnapping seemed to put a big spotlight on her, both from the public and from her own family. Any time she even approached a window there would be flashes in her eyes hoping to catch a glimpse of the princess - and at home, she was babied more than ever.

She knew it was due to worry and didn’t resent them - but it shaped the way she healed. 

She tries to keep the happy front for as long as she can - not really as a lie or trying to hide her feelings - but in a “fake it till you make it” sort of way

Because of this she goes from super happy to crying in .2 seconds - the sadness only shows when she can no longer push it down. Fun times ya’ll

She travels a lot less since the kidnapping and is always with a big team of bodyguards independently of where she’s going now - a lot of her freedom gone

She knows it’s for the best and so tries not to complain but due to the nature of the situation there’s always going to be a divide in her life - a before and an after - and the big changes to her daily life don’t help.

RECENT HISTORY

She never really wanted to join the fam here simply because being home was at least familiar. It gave her a sense of security.

Plus with so many of her family around she knew it would go back to the overprotecting - her father at least still has to run a country instead of following her every move.

And the thought of being locked in an island with the only way out being by boat terrified her more than she would ever admit.

The move to Oslo - and missing her mom and siblings finally made her give it a try

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

Platonic:

Bodyguard !!

Best Friends 

Close Friends

Friends

Party Buddies

Family friends

Wingwoman/men

Acquaintances

Friends turn Enemies

Enemies because their countries are enemies

Romantic:

fwb - she isn’t one to sleep around so probs just one person she really vibes with but they both know dating would ruin them?? Maybe cause they’re to different. Maybe cause one or both doesn’t want to catch feelings??

from lovers to enemies in .2 seconds flat - they fight and makeup faster than one would think humanly possible. on again off again type of relationship.

exs on good terms

exes on bad terms

flirtaship

would give an arm and a leg for a pure poly relationship - past or present (could even be with one of the 3 not being here and make that a wc???) based on this song

[ambivalnet]

1981

The Promise (The Dolphin Song) - Olivia Newton-John

Old Friends/Like It Was - Stephen Sondheim

Ashes to Ashes - David Bowie

Happy Birthday - Altered Images

Si Te Vas, Te Vas - Jeanette

Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat - Cats

For Your Eyes Only - Sheena Easton

Edge of Seventeen - Stevie Nicks

Blue Moon with Heartache - Rosanne Cash

Our Lips are Sealed - The Go-Go’s

Mickey - Toni Basil

Slipping Through My Fingers - ABBA

Not a Day Goes By - Carly Simon

And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going - Jennifer Holliday

Lullaby - Shock Treatment

One More Hour - Randy Newman

Spotify | Apple Music

Letterboxd

[borisbubbles]

1. BELGIUM

Blanche - “City Lights” 4th place

And so it ends... it only took me TWO MONTHS good lord.

I’m not going to beat around the bush here. The choice to put Blanche at the top of this ranking was easy. There hasn’t been a contestant in a WHILE whose journey I’ve been THIS invested in. (the last time was Tinkara in 2014; ESC rewarding her with a spot in the finale on my BIRTHDAY was the best bday gift I ever received ;__;).

I suppose there *IS* the universal (and not entirely unfounded) criticism that Blanche played a lesser version of the Aminata game and... I don’t remember if i’ve mentioned it before, but I really fucking love Aminata? Even a “watered-down Love Injected” is EASILY the best entry of the year for me, #SorryNotSorry. (though she’s more like Lisa Miskovsky i m o)

There are several things which attract me to Blanche. The Staging, for instance. Sure, it *could* have been better. Did It need to be better? Nah. We were always getting this top four, in that particular order, so it’s fine. The backdrop and lighting were spot on and provided the dynamism it needed. It also features my personal favourite visual effect: Floortile Sorcery:

Mesmerising

I also really love Blanche as a hume. I have a soft spot for the Bèta Introverted Band Geek type of contestant because they feel so disarmingly out-of-place (cf.: Salvador and JOWST, but also past contestants like Tinkara Kovac, Jónsi or Aud Wilken). Blanche shines not in spite her inate lack of star power but because of it. She’s relatable and real. She remains *herself* and in doing so, endeared an entire continent. In other words, she is everything Salvador fans claim Salvador is.

So, about ~That Journey~ or as I would like to call it:

The PASSION OF THE BLANCHE

Blanche is often compared to a wallflower, a lamb, a deer-in-the-headlights, bland, dead-eyed, emotionless and sombre. I would agree had I not rewatched.

On rewatch it became clear to me that Blance was, in fact, arguably the most passionate out of everyone, albeit not within the usual meaning of “intense emotion”, but in the ancient Biblical sense of “experiencing an extensive period of intense suffering”. <3

Naturally, this upset the Value Seeker part of the community who were DEMANDING a Fierceness Injection, but lol I mean Blanche isn’t Aminata and she never will be, deal? She is an introverted, camera-shy schoolgoer who spent most of her interview time looking at her feet  or tripping over the English Language (btw: best Frenglish ever? Yes, defo) If she had tried to pull off “fierce” she’d have failed and flopped and been OUT in the semifinal.

Instead, the Belgian delegation did the most clever thing they ever could have done. They profiled Blanche as vulnerable, desperate, afraid to lose her lover and it worked. The Key change at the end is sublime, symbolizing the BREAK OUT from her icy shell, as she feels her romance slipping through her fingers. Do we *know* the panic, the desperation, the guilt which sets in when such a thing happens? Blance portrayed that perfectly and I was feeling it. So, I’m not bothered that she looks “terrified”; It’s part of her act, you ghouls. Do you think THIS is the face of a scarity-cat shrew?

What I see is a focused young woman who knows precisely what she’s doing. (although the hand gestures are still awks lol but you can’t have everything)

But the Martyrdom of Blanche Christ wasn’t just self-inflicted. She also pulled us, the diehards (you’re still reading about Eurovision in JULY. don’t deny it.) into the ordeal from the second “City Lights” was revealed, which is an extraordinary feat.

You see, there has been a distinct pattern among the Fourth Placers ever since 2013. They always, ALWAYS start out as universally beloved top contenders for their modernized, edgy, too-good-for-Eurovision songs. Then, they have underwhelming rehearsals in which their ratings plummet only to get it together and finish in the top four anyway. Blanche’s journey is precisely that, except she took it to dizzying extremes.

From the moment of the song reveal, the netizen fan community (myself included) took a huge interest in her. No surprise, considering the song is the best (like, it was the fave among pretty much ALL of her fellow competitors. slayage <3), her voice is exceptional and she’s from Top Tier Eurovision Nation Belgium (lmfao @ this being a statement I can type w/o any irony. Well I’d never!).

Naturally, as is bound to happen with pre-show faves, she was the locus of many netizen meltdowns over the course of the pre-show.

From #BadVoiceGate to #WhiteDressGate, #EmptyStagingGate and #ScaredLambGate, Blanche unwittingly fed our collective anxiety and paranoia, taking us for an emotional rollercoaster ride. The Blanche Experience was like watching a psychological drama unfold before our very eyes, with setback after setback after setback gutpunching us towards Bergendahlland until our Heroine, FINALLY, prevailed against all odds and finished in the top anyway. I don’t know about you, but for me, it was a catharsis. Everyone else’s journey pales in comparison to this epic saga of personal growth, intimacy and downright good music. 

In short,

FENK YOO EVRIWAN AL EUV YOORUP MERCI

Decade Rank: 17/324

lol even with that she’s still my lowest ranked #1 for the decade. oh well.

and that concludes my ranking!!!! (just in time because I’m embarking on a three week vacay on Wednesday). I hope you enjoyed it and see you next season for more EUROVISION!! (I may still post from time to time but that will likely be RTV or lit-related)

THE EUROVISION 2017 RANKING:

-ADORE- 1. Belgium (17/324) 2. Belarus (22/324) 3. Macedonia (28/324) 4. Norway (29/324) 5. Lithuania (43/324) 6. Hungary (47/324) -LOVE- 7. Moldova (55/324) 8. Italy (61/324) 9. the Netherlands (63/324) 10. United Kingdom (67/324) 11. Finland (68/324) 12. Estonia (71/324) 13. Azerbaijan (84/324) 14. Latvia (87/324) 15. Israel (93/324)

-LIKE- 16. Bulgaria (100/324) 17. Portugal (105/324) 18. Croatia (115/324) 19. Austria (119/324) 20. France (138/324) 21. Poland (154/324) 22. Armenia (158/324) 23. Romania (164/324)

-OKAY- 24. Iceland (174/324) 25. Ukraine (190/324) 26. San Marino (203/324) 27. Albania (217/324) 28. Denmark (228/324) 29. Spain (237/324) 30. Cyprus (240/324) -DISLIKE- 31. Germany (258/324) 32. Montenegro (263/324) 33. Sweden (270/324) 34. Serbia (275/324) 35. Australia (280/324) 36. Switzerland (286/324) 37. Czech Republic (288/324) 38. Malta (291/324) -HATE- 39. Georgia (301/324) 40. Greece (303/324) 41. Slovenia (307/324) 42. Ireland (312/324)

THE BORISBUBBLES HALL OF ESC FAVES:

1972: the Netherlands (Sandra & Andres - “Als het om de liefde gaat”) 1973: United Kingdom (Cliff Richard - “Power to all our friends”) 1974: Sweden (ABBA - “Waterloo”) 1975: Germany (Joy Fleming - “Ein Lied kann eine Brücke sein”) 1976: Luxembourg (Jürgen Marcus - “Chansons pour ceux qui s’aiment”) 1977: Belgium (Dream Express - “A Million in 1-2-3″) 1978: Israel - (Izhar Cohen & Alfabeta - “A Ba Ni Bi” 1979: Germany (Dschinghis Khan - “Dschinghis Khan”) 1980: Luxembourg (Sofie & Magaly - “Papa Pingouïn”) 1981: Belgium (Emly Starr - “Samson”) 1982: Germany (Nicole - “Ein Bißchen Frieden”) 1983: Israel (Ofra Haza - “Chai”) 1984: Ireland (Linda Martin - “Terminal 3″) 1985: Finland (Sonja Lumme - “Eläköön Elämä”) 1986: Belgium (Sandra Kim - “J’aime la vie”) 1987: Belgium (Liliane Saint-Pierre - “Soldiers of love”) 1988: Switzerland (Céline Dion - “Ne partez pas sans moi”) 1989: Turkey (Pan - “Bana Bana”) 1990: Yugoslavia (Tajci - “Hajde, da ludujemo”) 1991: Sweden (Carola - “Fångad av en stormvind”) 1992: Denmark (Lotte Nilson & Kenny Lübke - “Alt det som ingen ser”) 1993: the Netherlands (Ruth Jacott - “Vrede”) 1994: Germany (MeKaDo - “Wir geben ‘ne Party”) 1995: Cyprus (Alexandros Panayi - “Sti fotia”) 1996: Croatia (Maja Blagdan - “Sveta Ljubav”) 1997: Poland (Anne-Marie Jopek - “Ale jestem”) 1998: the Netherlands (Edsilia Rombley - “Hemel en aarde”) 1999: Croatia (Doris Dragovic - “Marija Magdalena”) 2000: Latvia (Brainstorm - “My star”) 2001: France (Natasha St. Pier - “Je n’ai que mon âme”) 2002: Spain (Rosa - “Europe’s living a celebration”) 2003: Germany (Lou - Let’s get happy”) 2004: Albania (Anjeza Shahini - “Image of you”) 2005: Romania (Luminita Anghel & Sistem - “Let me try”) 2006: Iceland (Silvia Night - “Congratulations”) 2007: Georgia (Sopho - Visionary Dream”) 2008: Iceland (Euroband - “This is my life”) 2009: Iceland (Yohanna - “Is it true?”) 2010: Albania (Juliana Pasha - “It’s all about you”) 2011: Germany (Lena - “Taken by a stranger”) 2012: Sweden (Loreen - “Euphoria”) 2013: Greece (Koza Mostra ft. Agathonas Iakovidis - “Alcohol is free”) 2014: Slovenia (Tinkara Kovac - “Round and round”) 2015: Latvia (Aminata - “Love Injected”) 2016: Armenia (Iveta Mukuchyan - “LoveWave”) 2017: Belgium (Blanche - “City Lights”)

[thatsadifferentstory]

For the ask meme: 1 3 4 11 17 28 29 :)

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?Hmm… they should read The Book Thief, On the Jellicoe Road and every other book by Melina Marchetta, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Artemis Fowl, The Queen’s Thief, The Name of the Wind, The Neverending Story, basically all my favourite books, both now and when I was younger hahah.

They should watch Black Sails and Sense8, my all time favourite shows. Also movies with Leo Dicaprio bc I’m a total fangirl (Titanic, yes, it’s a cliché; but also Inception), Good Will Hunting, The Imitation Game, Les Miserables, Mamma Mia…

And they should listen to ABBA and to my favourite musicals: Les Mis, Spring Awakening, etc.

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.Harry Potter; Hermione.The Queen’s Thief; Irene.Artemis Fowl; Artemis but he’s way smarter than me.Percy Jackson; Annabeth.Sense8; Kala.Black Sails; probably Jack Rackham.The Seven Realms; Fire Dancer.Game of Thrones; I don’t know? Maybe Tyrion or Jon.

4. do you like your name? is there another name you think would fit you better?Yeah I do. I mean, it’s not my favourite but I wouldn’t change it because I think of myself as Julia so I feel it’s part of my identity I guess. And… I don’t know, not really. I’m not sure what would fit me hahah.

11. describe your ideal day.Depends on my mood but let’s mix everything: in the morning I go with my family somewhere, to visit an ancient village or something and I can’t stop laughing at whatever my brother is saying. In the afternoon/evening I meet my friends and we do, I don’t know but we’ll have fun anyway. Afterwards we get chicken tikka masala for dinner and when I get home I go to bed and read the sixth book of the Queen’s Thief series (that of course has already come out) or the latest novel by Melina Marchetta until 3 am.

17. would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?Quite good I suppose. I feel free to be myself but at the same time maybe I’m giving an image of me that doesn’t match reality hahahah.

28. on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?-4.

29. three songs that you connect with right now.Slipping through my fingers, Long Live (both have that nostalgic feeling that fits my current situation) and The Bitch of Living (ignore the lyrics, I don’t feel very connected to them, but that song could raise me from the grave 😂😂😂)

[whatevertheywant]

My Bisexual Opinion: ABBA Edition

I saw where another blogger had discussed several different ABBA songs, and given the general happiness the announcement today has given me,I’m gonna discuss some favorites of mine as well

1. Super Trouper- My favorite ABBA song! There’s something uniquely intimate yet still still fun and upbeat about it. I love Anni-Frid’s voice so much and how well she and Agnetha harmonize <3 <3 <3 My favorite lyrics are “I’ll be there when you arrive// the sight of you will prove to me I’m still alive//And when you take me in your arms and hold me tight// I know it’s gonna mean so much tonight” Everything from the backing vocals to the composition to the ladies’ always flawless voices is just so on point! Also, I totally want Anni-Frid’s jumper from the music video

2. The Winner Takes It All- A close second favorite. Oh my sweet lord! This song doesn’t get the love it deserves by a long shot. Like...sweet mother of emotional vulnerability! I know Bjorn says that he didn’t write this song about his and Agnetha’s divorce, but there had to at least be a touch of those feelings that went into it. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been, at least initially for Agnetha to know Bjorn wrote the words she was singing. You can definitely feel the raw emotion she put into it. I know the divorce was particularly hard on her. (The Meryl Streep version really puts my heart through the ringer, but I digress). There are too many examples of amazing, heart-wrenching lyrics to list them all, but the biggest gut punch is probably “And I understand...//You’ve come to shake my hand// I apologize if it makes you feel bad// Seeing me so tense// No self-confidence” then the last chorus. I just want to hug her and tell her it will all be okay.

3. Dancing Queen- An absolute bop! I don’t want to say it’s overrated because it is definitely deserving of its popularity, but I hate that the U.S. kind of slept on ABBA because they were thought to be purely a disco band because of it. Anyway, I actually sang this song for karaoke at an event a couple days ago. It’s so fun and easy to sing along to! You can’t help but feel at least a little better after you listen to it. I’m disappointed that no one sent me this song or sang it to me when I turned 17 tbh. I also associate this song with a disco tape my fourth grade teacher played for us all day every day (Yes, in the year 2005 A.D., the year of our lord. Someone always had to go flip it at least once a day.) Benny coming through with the piano! Everyone is obviously enjoying themselves.

4. Lay All Your Love On Me- Yaaaaas Angetha! Also an absolute bop! I have this song on a spotify playlist for my fiancee. I love the beat as well as the lyrics! It’s very much a mood when you’re falling fast for someone but haven’t quite made things exclusive with them yet. The subject is familiar enough for everyone to relate, but the lyrics are unique that they don’t fall through the cracks as just another vintage pop love song. “And I’m possessive. It isn’t nice// You heard me saying that smoking was my only vice// But now it isn’t true// Now, everything is you//”. Like, hell yes, intensity and love while acknowledging jealousy isn’t a cutesy part of a relationship but still natural! 

5. Mamma Mia!- Here I go again! Another fun crowd song. That piano and guitar intro/outro is just so I C O N I C. Usually,I focus more on lyrics than music as a writer, but the music is what makes this song unique and great to me. The arrangement is just. so. GOOD. The boys really brought their game to this one on all fronts. I do also love the lyrics. Very solid song, very easy to relate to. I also like the ambiguity that the song ends on. Did she go back to the guy or not? That’s the lack of resolution makes it all the more addictive imo.

6. Does Your Mother Know?- LET BJORN ULVAEUS SING LEAD MORE. I love,love, love the girls, but I need more Bjorn lead vocals! He’s a great singer, and this is such a fun, flirty song.  I like that it doesn’t take itself too seriously, and there’s something amusing about the mental image of young Bjorn at a bar trying to have this conversation with a barely legal fan that’s probably throwing herself at him.

7. Thank You For The Music- I love the simplistic style of this one. It’s possibly the sweetest songs the band has ever released. At some point, everyone has thought or said, “No, ABBA, thank YOU for the music!” It really was the perfect way to say goodbye (thank fuck they came back though!). It leaves you with a sadness that is still warm and fuzzy, like watching a friend or relative graduate. It would be a good song for a grad slideshow for a music major. And for added cuteness, imagine the home videos there likely are of tiny ABBA members singing and dancing! 

8. I’m a Marionette- My best friend’s favorite ABBA song. It is a grossly underrated one! It can be a little difficult to listen to because both the music and lyrics give off an anxious or frantic feeling, much like one would probably feel being a marionette (Ghost does a good cover of this one.). The music industry is often guilty of meddling with and stifling the creative process, which can make artists feel like puppets more than people. This is another song where the music stands out to me more than the lyrics. Anyone who hears it can see why.

9.  Fernando- I am a sucker for softer sounds. I also love the Spanish influence of the song as a whole. There’s a fond sense of nostalgia. The entire chorus is so sweet and makes you feel like you’re taken back in time along with the singer. Whether you take the song as being about two former lovers remembering being young revolutionaries or the war being metaphorical, it feels like the sweeter side of a bittersweet ending. “Though we never thought that we could lose// There’s no regret// If I had to do the same again// I would, my friend” makes me think of the split between Anni-Frida and Benny (just speculation) and their split possibly being more amicable than Bjorn and Agnetha (given that The Winner Takes It All has any inspiration from their divorce). Very haunting.

10.  Slipping Through My Fingers- (the Mamma Mia! version chokes me up sometimes because I must protect Meryl Streep at all costs) The song can be emotional enough without the creator context,but knowing why Bjorn wrote it makes it more visceral for me. If you don’t know, he wrote it because he  was feeling sad about missing out on so much of his daughter’s life because of how fast she was growing up and how frequently the band was touring. Agnetha sings vocals on this one, which adds to the emotion here. Ouch, right? They both did such a great job on this one! It feels so poignant and authentic. It can tug at the heartstrings of both parents and their daughters. It’s hard to not just post all the lyrics, but here are some of my personal picks from this song: “What happened to the wonderful adventures//The places I had planned for us to go// Well, some of that we did, but most we didn't // And why, I just don't know” and “Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture//And save it from the funny tricks of time (Slipping through my fingers)”

That’s definitely not a complete list of the songs I most enjoy by them, but I figure I rambled enough for a bit. I’m just super excited! I may post more at some point, but if you actually read the whole thing, bless you.