#this house makes me want to nerf myself x1000 and also take you with me 👍 Hope this helps! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

twinknote · 5 months ago

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha i think i'm going to go. Actually insane

my brother's gf's parents just put in an offer on a house for them today and it was accepted! and anyone who is not deeply mentally ill and traumatized and disabled and stuck living with their shitty fucking parents in their shitty fucking moldy decrepit hoarder's house would be happy for them! and i'm Soooooooo not! i fear i need to be kept 1,000 feet away from their happy celebratory housewarming shit bc it makes me want to kill everyone and then myself! like my mom texted me that they got the house and i immediately just started having a mental fucking breakdown and laughing and crying hysterically!!!!!!!!

like wow that's awesome!!!!! that's so awesome that you have rich parents who can just. randomly decide to buy you a house!!!!! that's so cool and good for you!!!! it would be so cool if my parents even had a decent house that isn't full of mold and bugs and mice and probably asbestos and has no usable dining or living room because they're piled with random fucking shit!!!! it would be so cool if some evil rotting smell didn't waft through the vents regularly!!!! it would be so cool if they were functional and capable of cleaning!!!!! it would be so cool if they were able or willing to help me live literally anywhere else, or GOD forbid realize that maybe living here isn't good for me!!!! that would be SO awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but it's So cool that your parents bought you a 3 bedroom house on a whim 👍 it's so cool that my brother gets to live there without having to go through any of the barriers that come with buying a house. it's so cool that people are just able to make money and live in safe and comfortable places and both of those things feel entirely impossible for me to the point where i truly just feel like i'm not meant to be happy or even just safe and sane. it's so cool that people just magically get their basic needs met and i'm just over here like ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha i'll never have that! that's awesome 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

#i know that like. they are in The Most privileged situation Ever and that i also have a Great amount of privilege to just be able to have #a roof over my head and food to eat and a fucking Car #like i hate coming across like i have No privilege and i'm The Most oppressed person to ever exist #it just. Really sucks to see other people just Magically get their needs met when i am fighting So fucking hard #and it just feels like it's Never going to happen and i'm just going to nerf myself before i get to access safe and sane housing #i think i do truly need to set a boundary about not being involved w any of this for the time being. which is going to be a whole Thing #bc my mom will be like Why??? Why can't you just be happy for them??? if you were a Good Sibling you would celebrate #and i can't really just be like Well actually living here makes me want to nerf myself every day and hearing abt them getting #this house makes me want to nerf myself x1000 and also take you with me 👍 Hope this helps!#Whatever ig i just need to be extra careful w myself. and my therapist is out of the office this week :)))))))))))))#That's Awesome!!!!!#no shade to jaxson u do u boo. i just require your support and services #ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if anyone can relate hmu bc i feel like i'm Actually insane #ventnote

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