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Fathoms below
Pairing: Marcus Acacius x f!reader
Warnings: use of you, youâre a mermaid, I won't give any details except for nice long legs and very long hair, nudity, violence (a little?), use of both pov. If I missed smt please let me know.
Summary: Marcus Acacius is a fighter and a conqueror, he's returning to Rome when a mysterious girl saves him from a shipwreck.
Masterlist
A/N New story, new (?) characters, I hope you like it as much as I do and if you don't like it, please be merciful. Likes, comments and reblogs are not mandatory, but very appreciated! â€ïž Have you seen Gladiator II? What do you think? I'm quite disappointed, if you want we can talk about it in a separate post.
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Taglist @harriedandharassed; @orcasoul; @blazeflays; @ijustlovemensm; @duck-duck-goose2
Thx for the dividers @saradika-graphics.
His whole life has been on a battlefield. His skin is now dark from all the dust soaked in sweat and spilled blood, his skin burned under the scorching sun. His hair a mass perpetually disheveled by the wind, by the many battles won over the years.
Marcus Acacius is the general of the Roman army, the most intelligent, the most ruthless. His hands are now a perpetual red, too many lives had been taken by his sword, no matter how many baths he takes and the considerable amount of perfumes and oils used, the battle is a part of him.
The battles faced in Numidia and Egypt had contributed to the extension of the glory and power of Rome. Acacius, after his last victory, is ordered to return to Rome where he would be celebrated and would have the great honor of becoming one of the most important men in Rome.
What the emperors order, the general performs. No matter how brutal or inhumane it is, he obeys. He doesn't always love what he does, sometimes it is senseless. But in Rome he could never say no, no one can.
Once, at the end of one of his many military campaigns, Acacius is on the coast of Sicily with his men â the province of Sicily was the first to be created and an important land of meetings and trade for the glory of Rome. He has just finished yet another campaign and cannot help but think of how many men have been killed at the whim of two mad emperors.
Acacius only follows orders, but he can't take it anymore. He fights, he kills, sometimes he takes prisoners if that's what he's ordered to do, sometimes not. He doesn't care about glory or having statues dedicated to him, he just wants some peace for himself and his life. Heâd like to live peacefully at least for a while, âGeneral!â one of his subordinates calls him back to reality âWe are ready for interrogation.â he sighs before joining his men.
That day, the General has to interrogate one of the prisoners to find out if theyâre plotting against the empire, the man's face is desperate. Acacius, even if he doesn't fully understand their language, can clearly see the fear in the man's eyes. He speaks and asks what they are organizing against Rome, but the only words are "mercy, I know nothing", he looks at him and the more he looks at him the more he feels disgusted by all this. At yet another futile attempt to learn something from him, his subordinate kills him.
Acacius looks at him shocked and completely incredulous, âHe wouldn't have said anything anyway.â the other justifies his action.
Heâs about to reply when a noise catches his attention and then two frightened eyes catch him, then he sees you fleeing. Your gait is awkward almost as if youâre in some kind of pain.
Without raising the alarm of an intruder in the camp, he walks away from the scene of the murder and starts following you into the woods with his trusty dagger still in his hand. He knows, in fact, that you could be a bait and that you could be used to lure him away from his men.
âStop.â he shouts at you âDonât run away!â he adds.
You stop and look at him, your gaze still terrified as if youâve a monster before you. Marcus Acacius has long seen himself as a dog faithful to his masters, always ready to obey no matter what, even if his actions were monstrous enough to make him feel like a monster.
He looks around for the presence of other men who were lurking around there ready to attack him, but the nature around them doesnât suggest the presence of other people except them.
Your gaze is still terrified, however you donât stop looking into Acacius' eyes, feeling as if heâs being scrutinized in the depths of his tormented soul.
Then a completely unexpected gesture, you touch his face. Your skin is cold as sea water, âYouâre freezing, are you okay?â he asks you, jumping at the unexpected cold on that hot summer day.
You look at him confused, âWhere are you from?â he asks you curiously.
But your look is confused, âYou don't understand me, do you? ÂżDe dĂłnde es? Waar kom jy vandaan?â Acacius tries to establish contact with you, but with the result that you shake your head and look at him, both surprised and curious at the same time.
He puts away his dagger and raises his hands in surrender, âSorry, if I scared you,â he tells you.
Oh, if his subordinates had heard that, they would have called him a wimp!
Thereâs something about you, something terribly beautiful and terrifying at the same time. Your beauty is unmatched and yet the General had met all sorts of women, but none as beautiful as you are.
Then, you both look at each other for a long, silent look before you start caressing his face with both hands, who knows if you want to tell him something and he doesnât understand what you want to tell him!
Acacius finds himself closing his eyes in a moment of total abandon, something he had never allowed himself to do before. Because of his role, he could never let his guard down, he always have to be vigilant and wary, but at that moment he doesnât even know why he feels so captivated by you, a mysterious girl.
Your touch is so gentle it almost sends shivers down his spine and for a moment he feels like he's in the right place at the right time where no war or duty calls him back to his place, he feels an absolute peace even if it lasts until you move your hands away and he opens his eyes again.
Your eyes are a mixture of confusion, fear, curiosity and beauty. Acacius wants to do the same thing you did with him, but then he thinks that maybe you would have been afraid and you would have run away.
âWhatâs your name?â he asks again, hoping that your name comes out of your lips, the name of a girl who seems to have hypnotized him.
You look at him again, opening your lips slightly as if to speak to him, but no sound comes out of your mouth.
Are you mute?
His expression softens and a faint smile curves his lips. You imitate his expression, âI have to go now.â he tells you slowly in the hope that you could understand and taking a step back.
Oh, how much heâd have given to stay and not have to return to Rome, he knows what awaits him!
You too move away from him, lowering your gaze for a moment and then looking up again.
After a last silent glance, everyone goes their own way. Who knows if you live there!
The next day, Marcus, much to his embarrassment, was gifted a new marble statue as a result of his latest conquest for the Empire. Itâs beautiful and the sculptor seems to know him very well since he managed to depict in detail every single wrinkle and war scar. He thanks the man, but deep down he doesn't feel comfortable taking that gift with him, but he can't refuse it either as it would mean offending the sculptor.
A few weeks later, he's on the ship headed to Rome. Acacius had thought about you several times, but without finding you, and yet there arenât many villages in the surrounding area and he finds himself very disappointed at not being able to at least say goodbye to you before returning to his home. The General is near the bow of the ship, reading important documents in which his last enterprise is documented, when thereâs a strange splashing sound that takes his focus off from the papyrus. Marcus looks up from his papers and walks over to the railing. Nothing special except some ripples and probably a few dolphins here and there.
The Sun dips into the waters of the Mediterranean Sea, when the man goes to sleep. Despite his tiredness, he can't sleep because on the one hand heâs happy to return home and live his city again, but on the other he knows that with this his latest victory, the emperors will force him to marry some domina. And Marcus knows that, although he's a man and enjoys certain freedoms, in the end he will have to give in and marry so as to contribute to the birth of other powerful men who will contribute to the glory of Rome.
The man must have fallen asleep because suddenly he feels a jolt to the ship, he gets up with difficulty staggering from one side to the other. The sea is definitely stormy. When he leaves his quarters, his men are screaming for mercy from the god Neptune. The waves reach the deck, wetting everything and everyone, and the ship rocks more and more violently.
âGeneral, weâre lost!â someone shouts âWeâre still too far from Rome and we canât even go back! This will be our tomb.â
Although he wants to encourage his men, the situation is truly desperate. The waves are crashing onto the deck with great violence, wetting everyone, and the sky is torn by flashes of lightning. Then, everything changes for the worse in a few moments, a lightning struck the mainmast which breaks and catch fire. Some men throw themselves into the sea in desperation, others remain clinging everywhere could. General Acacius is hit in the head by bow mast and ends up in the water.
The man doesnât even know how he doesnât faint after receiving that strong blow to the head and tries to surface despite the high waves, but his clothes and the fury of the sea donât help him at all. He begins to drink saltwater and drown in the depths of the sea, when something seems to grab him and drag him away. The man faints.
When Marcus regains consciousness, he feels the gravel and the sand of the coast beneath him. He opens his eyes, barely raising his head, he feels overwhelmed and confused, when he sees a girl â that same girl, you â next to him, he's about to say something, but you place a finger on his lips, your skin is soft and cold as he remembered it, you look at him with a pleading and worried look, you smile at him as if you are happy to know heâs safe and after looking into his eyes again as if to make sure he's okay, Marcus watches you go away and disappear into the waves. A few moments later a fishtail appears where you disappeared.
It can't be!
No one can understand how much you love the world above the surface, the sun, the wind, you love every sound that comes from it.
You are a mermaid, but you want so much to live up there.
You are looking out more and more often, running the risk of being seen by humans. According to your father, they are the worst creatures in the world, always hostile and destructive to each other and to you. But not according to your aunt, Mira, she loves humans and in fact she encourages you to go up and explore the terrestrial world.
When you were still a baby, you went up to the surface with her. It was your first time and you loved every moment, at least until a galley almost saw you and this led to a furious argument between the two brothers which then led to Mira exile.
From that day on, your father prevented you not only from seeing her, but also from imitating her. You should never have come to the surface again.
You obeyed, at least until the renewed curiosity towards the surface and humans came back forcefully to make its way inside you and since then youâve started secretly collecting everything related to the human world, they are so beautiful, they do so many wonderful things and they write so much. One day youâll learn to read in their language, maybe you can ask your aunt Mira for help, she knows a lot of things.
You mostly come up to the surface in the evening or at night, this is because it's the safest moment not only because your father isn't around, but also because you are less likely to be seen by humans.
And that evening is no exception even though there is a strong wind and the currents are quite strong even down there in your world. It's one of those days, that humans call summer, the first time you see him.
In the evening you like to watch what your aunt explained to you is called Moon reflected in the waters of the Mediterranean Sea. The water becomes so bright on the surface that creates a strange play of light. That summer evening, you surface cautiously and very carefully, looking left and right, you come out of the water. Your beautiful fish tail gradually disappears as you surface and is replaced by nice long legs.
Your aunt had explained to you that this magic happens for you mermaids. You can go up to the surface, but you can't stay there for long. Magic always comes with a price, she told you. In fact, if it was possible to have legs, then you would also feel great pain in having them.
Effectively, your legs always hurt a little and it's not always pleasant to walk on them, but walking on the ground makes up for that pain. You immediately notice a small group of men at a certain distance, they seem to be soldiers from the way they are dressed. Your aunt Mira told you everything about them, even though she always warned you not to get close to them because it's too dangerous. Watch them from afar, but never get close to them, these were your aunt's words. But you want to touch them, see them, talk to them. It can't be that they are just murderers like your daddy says.
Your father told you that humans are always fighting among themselves, always ready to kill each other, to hurt each other, to prevail over each other and he once told you about a large group of humans wandering around from one corner of the sea to the other who does nothing but crave power and claim their dominion over that territory. Mira told you that when they don't live in their beautiful houses, they move from one place to another and use tents to sleep and several tents together form a camp.
Oh, it must be wonderful to move on ships or living in beautiful houses like the ones you've seen in the books you keep in a little nook away from everything and everyone!
You see many tents in the distance, so you know that further ahead there are many humans around. You look around you cautiously, close your eyes and strain your ears: there are some who speak of something and others who say something else, someone silence someone else and others are making strange thudding noises.
You open your eyes and step out of the water completely. After a few steps you turn toward the sea and see your home from the human perspective: a mass of dark water tossed by the wind. You turn around and look for something to cover yourself, you are completely naked and you arenât sure if humans go around like that.
After getting dressed, you move silently and approach those voices that are gradually becoming louder and louder.
Then, you see him: a man with a grim and sharp look, his eyes are dark and he looks at the man at his feet with a serious expression. The kneeling man is shaking and says something you donât understand, but the man in front of him continue to stare at him coldly, then someone behind the man with the cold gaze, approaches with something in his hands that has every appearance of being something dangerous. In a few seconds something happens that you never thought you'd see: the third man with that stuff in his hands, quickly approaches the kneeling man and hit him with that same item he has in his hands. The man falls on his side almost screaming, you open your eyes wide, amazed and scared at the same time by the speed of the gesture and by that dull scream emitted by the man on the ground who doesnât move anymore.
You look at the cold-eyed man and the third man, the first one has an annoyed tone of voice towards the other one who in turn answers with great speed. Who knows what they are saying to each other!
Then, you look back at the man on the ground and only then you notice what what appears to be blood. Youâve seen enough, it's time to go back. But as you step back, you step on something that catch the eye of the cold-looking man who turns his head in your direction. Your eyes meet for the first time and you feel a strange sensation that make you run away quickly in the same direction youâve taken to reach that field.
You can't run as your legs still hurt too much. A burning disappointment spread in your chest, maybe your father is right about humans and your aunt is wrong. Youâve almost reached the beach, when you hear the same voice behind you. His voice isnât cold this time, he seems surprised. You donât understand what he's telling you, it's the first time you hear a human speak. It's a strange language theirs, but for some reason, even though you donât understand anything he's saying, you turn around towards him and his dark eyes almost freeze you in place as if he has cast a spell on you.
His voice donât seem to be threatening at that moment, yet you see and hear how he addressed the others, who is the man in front of you? You press yourself against a tree behind you with a frightened look. You see him put away what he has in his hands and lift them up as if to reassure you, he speaks to you, his tone of voice is calm. It gives you the shivers. He starts to come towards you, approaching with a slow pace, you want to run away, but your legs donât seem to respond to your desire to escape.
He's telling you something, his voice is warm and peaceful. Beautiful, almost musical. It reminds you of the echo that seashells produce on windy days. It's a nice sound, but it makes you shiver. He's now one step away from you, his eyes are so dark. His stained face has a strange color, his skin color is so unique.
You find yourself reaching out to his face, his first reaction is to pull away and you pull your hand away in fear of his response. Then, he seems to relax and you stretch out your hand again.
His skin is a little damaged and warm to the touch, tingling where his beard is, you graze the outline of his lips and face with your fingertips, then follow the line of a scar under his eye as if to memorize every detail of him. Humans are so beautiful, so fascinating. You want to tell him he's beautiful, but you donât know how.
Then, something inexplicable happens: by touching him you can feel and see what he saw, he really saw so much. How much blood he shed and how many people he saw, how many he argued with, talked with, you can even sense his deep torment, you feel even more curious about him now!
You look him straight in the eyes for a long time and he looks back at you in silence. For a moment the air seems to hang between you two, then you wake up from that spell and withdrew your hands.
He speaks to you so sweetly that you almost have trouble associating him with that man with the cold, authoritative look from earlier and the bloody memories you somehow saw. His eyes have a hint of sadness that contradicts his fury in battle.
Maybe heâs not happy doing what he does!
You'd like to tell him that he's beautiful and at the same time how beautiful and complicated human nature is, but you don't know how to tell him. You wish you could talk to him, understand him.
Then, he talks to you again, walking away from you and you realize he's leaving. You didn't want him to leave, but you can't force him and then now more than ever you want to know everything about humans, their culture, how they live, but above all you want to know what he will do, where he will go.
You do the same thing without ever leaving those dark eyes that in the light seem to be the color of the sandy bottoms of your home.
When you are sure heâs gone, you slowly reach the shoreline. You turn in the direction you came from and think back to that human, Marcus Acacius. You were very struck by how he hides his torment behind that almost cold and authoritarian mask. Heâs such a fascinating creature.
You smile as you think back to what the human â Marcus â has seen and done, oh how you wish you could see some of the many things he sees, experience them with him. It would be incredibly fascinating.
You stay there for a while, then when the wind ripples the surface of the sea, you understand it's time to go. You place the soles of your feet in the water and at that moment a sensation of trembling mixed with cold spreads inside you, a sharp, painful sensation jolts you and runs through your legs, then gives way to an almost giving way feeling in your legs. You end up falling forward and at that moment you no longer feel your nice long legs, but your tail again. You drag yourself through the water until your tail is completely submerged and you can dive back into the depths of the sea.
Oh, you want to talk to your aunt Mira, you want to ask her if she knows of a way to get you to stay on the surface longer.
In the days that follow, you often return to the surface, barely peeking out of the water just to see him, you often see him on the beach, sometimes you see him sharpening what youâve learned to be a dagger, you see him take off his armor and remain on more than one occasion with only a gray tunic and thoughtfully observe the horizon. He looks sad, thoughtful. You wish you could see again what is bothering him so much, you wish you could help him.
You still haven't found the courage to go to your aunt and ask for what's closest to your heart: to become part of his world. You hope your aunt can help you, she knows a lot of things.
Every day now when the sun goes down, you come up to the surface just to see him. One day you see him sitting on a rock a few meters from the shore, you hide because you don't know how to explain to him of your fishtail, he probably wouldn't understand. You see him wearing a wet shirt completely adhered to his body, heâs all intent on washing his hands and arms, they are dirty with what appears to be mud. His hair is wet and his curls are matted and dripping with water, one curl falls untidily on his forehead. His features in the light of the sunset seem to be even more masculine and incredibly beautiful.
You reach out a hand towards his face even if from afar as if you wanted to caress him and at that moment a light wind rises and the man's hair is as if shaken by a tender breeze that leads him to look up towards the horizon and you to hide behind a rocky ridge.
Oh, Marcus..
âI'll find you,â you hear him whisper. Itâs one of the first sentences you understand in the human language. In fact, in these days listening to them you have learned a lot and now you are starting to understand something too. You hope he's talking about you, though of course you're not sure.
Days go by and coming to the surface and being with him, even if at a considerable distance, has become a nice habit. You don't even care if your father sees you or not, you go to him. Unfortunately, a galley appears near the coast of the island and you understand that they have come to take the man away from there. Who knows where they're going... maybe if you followed them a little...
You don't regret following him, even if you go really far away from your home, but you don't care at all. You follow the ship at a distance fearing that someone might see you. Youâve been following him for almost three days and you often see him there on the deck. He often stands there staring at the horizon with a thoughtful expression, who knows what he's thinking about.
One day the sky is almost as black as the night sky, the clouds are so dark that they scare you and you are so afraid for him. The wind is so strong and the waves are getting so high that even swimming is difficult for you.
Then, everything changes in an instant. A bolt of lightning strikes the trunk of the ship, which breaks in two and hits Marcus who was not too far from the rail and falls overboard. You rush towards it, the water is so dark that for a moment you can't see anything.
A few moments later a noise reverberates in the sea waters and you see the ship sinking, itâs a disturbing sight. You move with difficulty through the waves, you see many objects that were surely on board end up down, then you see him.
You see him unconscious, whirling in the waves and ending up under. You swim as fast as you can and reach him, grabbing him and making him resurface.
âIâll save you, donât be afraid.â You tell him reassuringly, he opens his eyes for a moment and then closes them immediately and abandons himself on you.
You can't quantify the time that passes until you reach dry land. Without thinking that anyone might see the scene, you drag Marcus, still unconscious, to the shore.
You start to feel pain in your fish tail which is a sign that your tail has started to change and turning into legs, but it doesnât matter now. You drag Marcus until he's almost completely out of the water, his hair is wet and full of sand and gravel, âPlease, open your eyes,â you beg him, moving a wet curl that fell on his wet forehead. You look at him and notice his torn robe on his arm, there's a bloody cut and you immediately peel a scale off your tail to heal him.
âYou are beautiful, Marcus,â you murmur, looking with a rapt air at his face, so beautiful that it reminds you of the one depicted in a book you have at the bottom of the sea. You caress his face, his burning lips, but this time you can't see anything, perhaps because he is unconscious. You put your head on his chest and you feel him breathing fortunately. Only now you give yourself a moment to relax and smile happily that heâs safe.
A few moments later when he starts to wake up, you lift your head from his chest and at that moment he opens his eyes. He has beautiful eyes, you can't help but smile at him, you murmur "Youâll be fine now, youâre safe.â You quickly let go of him when you hear a chatter approaching.
You leave him so quickly that you don't think he could have seen who you really are.When you are far enough away, you turn around and see him surrounded by a small group of people who have reached him and helped him, "Now you are safe." you repeat to yourself, casting one last glance towards him who never stops looking towards the sea.
You smile one last time before diving back in the bottomless blue of the sea and reaching your home again, but with the promise that youâll soon return and see him again.
#general marcus acacius#marcus acacius#marcus acacius fic#marcus acacius fanfic#marcus acacius fanfiction#marcus acacius x you#marcus acacius x f!reader#marcus acacius x reader#marcus acacius x female reader#pedro pascal#pedro pascal as marcus acacius#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal characters fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#Spotify
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Back to you
Summary: in a world where everyone has a soulmate, you find yours in the least expected way.
Pairing: Felix x fab!reader
Genre: fluff, angst, smut, sci fi au, slice of life au
Word Count: 8.8k
Warnings: time jumps, kissing lol, unprotected sex (don't), creampie, making love, dirty talk?, kinda an open ending
Notes: stuck in my sci fi era lol i had this idea for a while and decided to finish it recently. let me know what you think!
If you enjoyed, please consider a like, reblog, or comment as it keep me motivated.
Divider by @sweetmelodygraphics
Please do not copy, translate, modify, use, or repost this work elsewhere without my permission. ©ïžmoonchild9350 (2024)
âWeâre done!â
Two words, two little words. Who would have thought those two words would break Felixâs heart. He thought Xania was the one, after all she was supposed to be his soulmate.
Felix turned to walk down Xaniaâs stairs, taking each step slowly, one foot in front of the other. He scratched his blonde hair, messing up the little hairs that were pulled back into a ponytail. He had a frown on his face, as he contemplated where he went wrong.
Now, without Xania, he was back to square one. He needed to remedy this and fast before others found out. The world frowns upon a twenty five year old bachelor, especially in a world where people have a soulmate assigned to them since birth.
Itâs the year 3050, and humanity has improved for the better, natural selection weeding out the weak. Aging is slower due to scientific advancement, where now every year the earth rotates around the sun, humans do not age as they did a century ago. Instead every five years, a human ages one year. In this case, Felix has been twenty-five for five years now. Next year on his birthday, he will finally be twenty sixâŠand still without finding his soulmate.
Felix continues to walk down the street, muttering under his breath, conflicted on what to do next. He would have to go back to the company Soulmate and Co. and file a complaint against the lady who told him Xania was his soulmate. Deciding that this is what heâs going to do, he turns around and hails a hover car, giving the address of the building he needs.
The ride doesnât take long as the car glides through the sky, bypassing other hover cars and buildings. Once there, he slips a coin into the pouch next to his seat and exits the car. He takes a moment to view the building in front of him, tilting his head back so he can take in the whole thing.
It seems to reach all the way to the sky, the glass reflecting the bright sun that is shining today.
He marches up the steps and through the double doors, walking past the seating area, which is filled with various other clients, some smiling while others are distraught, their heads in their hands. He continues to walk through the foyer, making his way to the front desk.
âThe matchmakers please,â Felix tells the person behind the desk.
She nods at his request and signals for a guide to take him to his destination. He follows the lady, to an elevator with glass doors at the end of the hall. She beckons him to enter the glass container and presses a button labeled âlevel 50â before stepping back with a smile.
The elevator ascends gracefully, gliding on the gears without a sound, the many floors passing by with a blur. A minute passes and then two until he finally reaches the floor he needs. The elevator doors open with a hiss and Felix exits, stepping outside of the box.
He looks left and right, before noticing a directory plastered on the wall straight ahead. He doesnât give this a second glance, having been here before, but instead makes his way down the hall until he reaches a door with a placard on it identifying âMavis, Matchmakerâ
Felix pushes open the door and marches in, determination in his step. Mavisâs secretary looks up and smiles, waiting for him to approach the desk.
âHow can I help you?â She asks pleasantly, ignoring the annoyed face Felix makes at her.
âI need to speak with Mavis,â Felix pauses for a moment before he decides to add, ânow.â
The secretary eyes him, most likely deciding if he would be a threat. She must have ultimately decided he was ok because she smiled once more before pressing a button and announcing that he was here.
Felix only had to wait a brief moment when the door to the left opened, revealing a beautiful girl in the doorway. She had the signature insignia, signaling that she was a matchmaker plastered on her chest for all to see.
âMr. Lee,â she said shocked, her eyes widened at the sight of him.
âMavis, I need to speak with you.â
Mavis stepped out of the way, beckoning him into her office. Felix quickly walked over, sitting in one of the many chairs scattered throughout the small office.
âWhat can I do for you? If I remember correctly, you had found your soulmate? Why are you here?â
Felix looked at mavis incredulously. âWhy am I here? Because xania broke up with me! Sheâs not my soulmate, which means you messed up!â
He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He was furious, and how can he not be? Because of the matchmakers mistake, heâd be the laughing stock of his family, having to explain that he was told the wrong person was his soulmate.
Mavis looked at him, her eyes widened at the accusation. âSurely there was a mistake. Xania is your soulmateâŠthe roster confirmed it,â she hurriedly said as she pulled up a database with her fingers.
She scanned the various documents, her hand moving this way and that as she looked up his profile. finding the page she needed, she stared at it for a moment, her eyes moving across the screen.
As she came to a certain area, her eyes widened and her mouth opened as she took a deep breath. Recovering quickly, she straightened up and looked at Felix.
âIt seems there indeed was a mistake. I am so sorry Mr. Lee. Xania was not your soulmate.â
Felix stared at Mavis, fighting the urge to say something he would regret. Instead he said, âthank you, yes there has been a mistake. And now I need you to tell me who is my soulmate.â
Mavis hesitated, not sure what to say. âWellâŠI can but itâs complicated. It seems like your true soulmate is already bound to someone elseâŠâ
Bound to someone else? Shit. What is he to do now? His soulmate is galavanting with another person.
âSo what do I do now?â Felix asked dejectedly, his head hanging down.
Mavis thought for a moment, considering the options. Typically thereâs no way to go back and change the pathway of things, but she had pity on Felix. After all it was her mistake.
âThere is a wayâŠbut mind you itâs very dangerous.â
Felix perked up, his ears intent on listening to what Mavis had to say. Heâd do anything and he means anything to be with his proper soulmate.
âYou can go back in time and find your soulmate, meet them, talk to them, convince them theyâre your soulmate. Rewrite the story. Youâll have to time travel, but we can get you there. Five spins around the sun should do it.â
Time travel? Felix didnât even know such a thing existed, but then again, he shouldnât be shocked.
âOk, Iâll do it,â Felix said with determination.
Mavis nodded, pleased with Felixâs answer. She pressed a button on her desk, before speaking softly, âplease send a device member to my office.â
She released the button and smiled as she placed her hands on her desk. Felix shifted awkwardly in his seat, unsure of where to look or what to say as Mavis was silent. He decided to look at the files on her shelf, his eyes roaming over script he couldnât understand.
He looked with interest until the door opened suddenly, causing him to jump slightly in his seat.
âAh, come in please. Have a seat. â Mavis said as a shy looking girl in blue scrubs walked in.
She looked curiously at Felix, taking him in. She carefully sat in the chair next to him and looked at Mavis, waiting for instruction.
âMelody, this here is Mr. Lee. Due to some unfortunate circumstances, he needs to go back to the past, specifically five years ago. Can you escort him to the vault and assist him please?â
Melody nodded, a soft smile spreading on her face. âMost certainly.â
Mavis smiled, âgreat! Well off you both go! Good luck Mr. Lee!â
She swiveled away, her back to Felix and melody. Felix got up as his escort got up and followed her out of the office. They walked through narrow hallways, went down flights of stairs, the walk seeming to go on forever until stopping at a large metal door.
Felix watched as she placed her palm on a scanner, the laser reading her dna ensuring her identity matched who she said she was. A soft beep rang in the otherwise empty corridor, the door springing open slightly.
Melody stepped in between the crack, Felix following right behind her. The door shut with a finite click, locking them within the room.
As Felix faced forward, the lights within the room turned on, illuminating the area with soft light. He scanned the room nothing seeming of interest until his eyes landed on the machine in the center of the room.
It had glass walls, just like everything in the building, a small panel just to the left of the door. Melody walked over to a switch on the wall and lifted it, a soft humming sound present within the room as things powered up.
She went to the panel and started pressing button after button, most likely setting the time frame for which he has to go back. After a while, she turned to face him.
âMr. Lee, please step within the box.â
Felix cautiosouly walked to the glass box and stepped inside. Despite the walls being made of glass, he couldnât help but feel a little claustrophobic, the walls closing in on him.
He jumped at the sound of static, melodyâs voice echoing in the small chamber.
âI will transport you back to five years ago. You will still be twenty five. Complete your mission but know you only have one year to complete your task, whether you are successful or not. Once you are done, youâll know what to do in order to get back.â
Felix was nervous, his heart rapidly beating so hard within his chest, he felt as if it would jump out any moment. He wiped the thin sheen of sweat that had formed on his forehead as he stared at Melody through the glass wall.
She gave a thumbs up and smiled before pressing a green button. The humming noise slowly intensified, until there was a buzzing sound echoing in his ear.
The air in front of him started to ripple, the atoms slowly manipulating themselves to transport him to a different time and place.
As his surroundings started to fade and become unrecognizable, he felt a tingle on his skin, almost as if he was being touched with a million needles. The feeling intensified until his belly started to churn, nausea taking over as the air became harder to breathe.
There was a flash of white light and just when he thought he would pass out from the sensation within the room, there was quiet and stillnessâŠbut only for a moment.
The air expanded, his breath caught off untilâŠ. -- -- It was a clear night, the sky black, the stars twinkling and the moon bright. There was barely any wind blowing, but the trees swayed nonetheless, providing a refreshing breeze on this summer night.
You were laying on a blanket in your backyard, star gazing, enjoying your night off. The night was silent, that is until you heard a low buzz, traveling from one ear to the other.
You dismissed the sound until the buzz got louder, almost deafening. Sitting upright, you looked around, searching for the source of the annoying sound.
You were about to give up after not seeing anything when the space in front of you shifted, a small hole opening up in the night air.
You stared horrified, unable to move as the hole got bigger, and a bright light appeared within the space.
You let out a scream as a man fell from the hole, his arms outstretched as he tumbled through, landing directly on top of you, causing you to fall backwards.
You let out a huff as your head lightly bounced on the soft grass, your eyes wide as you stared at the man who came from nowhere.
He laid there dazed, his eyes trying to focus as he attempted to breathe. You took him in, eyeing his features of dazzling brown eyes that seemed to shine even at night, millions of freckles littering his face like the stars of the night sky, and small, plush heart shaped lips.
This man was beautiful, that you couldnât deny. An angel for sure sent from heaven. However, that thought dashed from your head as he opened his mouth to speak.
âOh shit! Iâm sorry!â The man said as he scrambled to get off of you, grunting as he fell over in the process.
âAhh!â You exclaimed, scooting over to him to help him up. âAre you alright?â
He looked at you, his eyes taking you in before he blushed and looked down.
âIâm ok,â he replied softly. âIâm sorry, I umâŠI thinkâŠactually, I have no clue what happenedâŠor if Iâm even in the correct place.â
You chuckled as the man stuttered through his explanation, as he clearly had no clue what was going on.
âHow about we start with your name?â You suggested, sitting next to him.
âName. Right. Yeah. UmmmâŠIâm Felix,â he said as continued to stare at the ground.
âWell, Felix, Iâm y/n.â
'Y/n,â Felix thought, âsuch a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.â When you said your name, he felt his heart flutter and a warm sensation spread through him, which was contrary to how he felt not even five minutes ago.
He was in the right place. Heâs not sure how he knew, he just felt that it felt right deep within.
Felix returned his gaze to you, taking in your calm demeanor, despite just seeing him come out of a black hole essentially. His eyes roamed your face, your eyes trained on him in concern, your lips slightly parted.
He felt his heart race as he continued to stare at you remembering how you felt underneath him, so soft and perfect.
Felix shook his head, coming back to the time at hand. He looked around the yard, taking in the little oasis you had created. There were fairy lights illuminating the space, the lights twinkling in the night air in such a way it almost seemed magical.
In the corner was a hot tub, the steam rising in the air beckoning whoever was near to relax within its waters. He looked down at the ground in which both of you were sitting, taking in the blanket and pillows you had set up.
âLooks like I interrupted youâŠIâm sorry,â Felix said softly.
âItâs ok,â you said with a smile. You let a moment pass before opening your mouth once more, curiosity getting the best of you.
âSo umâŠtime travel?â You said gesturing to the air in which Felix fell from.
You wondered where he came from and most importantly why, especially why he landed within your yard.
âUh yeah, Iâm from the future on a mission,â Felix replied, as his hand ran through his blond locks.
âAhh the future. Whatâs your mission?â
Felix hesitated unsure if he should tell you the reason whyâs he here. He decided against it, wanting to get a feel first before diving in. He has a year after all, why rush it.
âI canât tell you that unfortunately,â Felix said apologetically.
You hummed and brushed his statement away, leaving it at that. You knew he would tell you when heâs ready, if at all.
âWell, itâs late and you probably have no where to stay, so you can crash here while you work on your mission if youâd like,â you said as you got up and dusted the dirt from your shorts.
Felix stared at you in shock, surprised you would offer your home to someone you didnât know so readily.
âOh..ok, yeahâŠsure thanks!â
Felix got up as well, reaching down to help you fold the blanket you were sitting on. He followed you to your door, curiosity plastered on his face as you opened the door and stepped into your home.
He was taken aback, the space feeling soâŠhomey. It was decked out in lights, their glow illuminating the space with soft light, making it more intimate. The space radiated a floral scent, one that was intense but surprisingly was not overwhelming in the small space.
Your home was just soâŠyou.
The thought made Felix chuckle in delight.
âWell itâs not much, but this is my home,â you said, gesturing to the small space.
âI like it, itâs very comfortable,â Felix said in earnest.
You smiled and nodded, happy that he liked your little space. You bustled around, making your way to the kitchen.
âTea?â You asked as your hands started dancing through the air, shifting through the options you had in your inventory.
âSure,â Felix said watching as you selected an option, the kettle appearing from thin air onto the stove.
You turned the heat on, the flames licking the bottom of the kettle immediately. Felix watched silently as you bustled around the kitchen, humming a little song as you prepared snacks.
The kettle whistled, the shrill sound loud in the otherwise quiet room. You grabbed two mugs and poured the tea before carefully carrying them to the couch. You gave Felix his, and then brought the snacks over.
Sitting down, you looked at the man next to you. He seemed nervous, his fingers drumming on the cup. Your eyes roamed his body, taking in his little frame, his baby face. He really was cute youâd have to say.
Felix looked up at you suddenly, his eyes meeting yours. You smiled reassuringly, hoping heâd understand he can be himself.
It didnt take long for Felix to open up, his bubbly personality shining through. You listened to him talk about his life in the future, his job where he helps others figure out what they want to do with their lives.
He talks about his friends, how close they are and how theyâve saved him more times than he can count. He even mentioned how he thought he found his soulmate, but apparently it was a mistake, one that is rarely made.
You eyed him, noticing that something was off when he mentioned his soulmate. You couldnât place a finger to it but decided to leave it, knowing heâll tell you the details when heâs ready.
The night passed in conversation, you feeling at home with Felix which was odd since youâve just met him. You looked at the clock and noticed how late it was.
âShit,â you muttered, âI need to get to bed. I work tomorrow.â
Felix nodded and helped you clean up. He knew the night would have to end eventually but heâs sad it did so soon.
âYou can have the couch,â you said as you started making a makeshift bed.
Felix stood in the corner watching as you finished his bed and then went to your closet grabbing a shirt. He took it from your hands gratefully.
âSorry, itâs the biggest I have,â you said sheepishly.
âItâs ok, thanks.â
You nodded, happy he didnât mind the clothes. âWell Iâm going to grab a shower, make yourself at home.â
Felix watched as you grabbed some clothes and stepped into the bathroom, closing the door softly. He heard the shower start, the sound of water hitting the wall.
He sat down on the couch, his eyes roaming around the room. He canât wait to shower you with love, take care of you, after all youâre his soulmate whether youâve realized it or not.
-- --
The next morning, you awakened to the smell of bacon, the scent permeating your home. Your belly growled, signaling you to feed it which made you chuckle.
You stretched and stood up before padding to the kitchen. The sight of Felix at the stove cooking made your heart swell, a smile gracing your face. You stood in the corner and watched him, watching as he tried to finish the meal.
He was struggling a little bit but trying nonetheless, little curses falling from his mouth. Turning around he noticed you, causing him to drop the spoon he was holding.
You chuckled at his clumsiness, bending down to pick up the utensil.
Felix was startled at the sight of you, his cheeks instantly reddening. There you stood in your little sleep shirt and shorts, leaving nothing to the imagination. He could see your tits, your nipples hardened and poking through the silk. His eyes wandered down to your ass, so round and plush within the little shorts.
He looked away in embarrassment as you stood up, spoon in hand. He took it from your hand and went back to finishing up breakfast.
You sat down and waited, your chin in your hand. This was nice, a man cooking for you. A cute one at that. Felix walked over with your plate in hand, setting it down in front of you.
âBon appetite!â He said, bowing slightly.
You giggled and picked up your fork to dig in. The first bite wasâŠinteresting so to say, the taste strong mixed withâŠ
âUmm, Felix? Did you use salt in this?â
Felix looked up at you, his eyes wide. âYeah, I did. Is it too much?â
You shook your head yes, shyly looking down.
Felix put down his fork and bowed his head. âIâm sorry, y/n. Iâll get better I promise. I just wanted to fix something for you after you took me in.â
Now you felt bad, your heart falling at the sight of the little pout that formed on his face. He did work hard to prepare this for you, waking up way before you to do so.
âItâs ok, itâs still good. Letâs dig in ok?â
Felix smiled at your attempt to reconcile, picking up his fork once more. You both ate, enjoying each others company.
Itâs been awhile since youâve had anyone else in the house with you, since you opted to live alone. So it was weird to share such an intimate meal with someone else and a stranger at that.
After eating, you sat back, content that your belly was full.
âThanks for breakfast Felix. I have to get ready for work now. You can make yourself at home though.â
Felix smiled, happy you enjoyed his meal. He watched as you got up and padded away to your closet, your hips swaying with each step.
He got up and started clearing away the dishes, falling into the routine of cleaning. He had everything planned out, and would start his mission once you left for work.
Felix startled as you came up behind him, now fully dressed with your work uniform, your hair nicely done and your makeup complete to perfection
âSorry, didnât mean to startle you. Iâm leaving now. If you need anything while Iâm gone just call. Here Iâll send you my phone number.â
Felix watched as you scrolled through your book, punching in your number and swiping your finger away sending it to his contact list. He pulled it up, staring at the digital screen in front of him. He saved your number, smiling at the name you gave yourself.
He walked to the door with you, standing aways back as you slipped into your shoes. He wished you a good day at work, watching as you softly shut the door behind you.
Felix stood there for a moment more before turning to go back into your home, ready to set his plan in action.
Day after day, week after week, month after month, Felix doted on you. He made your meals, helped around the house, he did anything you wanted him to do.
You had game nights, movie nights, crafting nights. Any type of activity he could do while spending time with you, he did it.
Felix loved spending time with you too. He learned your habits, how you immediately went to the snack cabinet after work. How you liked your baths, the bubbles not too high, the water hot, and with a glass of wine.
He learned that you didnât like scary movies, remembering how you locked yourself in the bathroom after a scene, refusing to come out until he coaxed you out with the promise of cuddles.
That was on the agenda tonight, a movie and cuddles. You snuggled in within Felixâs arms, your head on his chest as his arms wrapped around your body protectively.
You were growing to love these quiet moments, just the two of you in a room illuminated with fairy lights. There was a storm brewing outside, the sound of the wind rattling the windowpane. Fall has rolled in into your little town, therefore, it has rained almost everyday, blanketing the world with the little drops falling from the sky.
However, you didnât mind, being safe and warm within his arms. You nuzzled in, your head rubbing on his chest, causing Felix to look down at you.
âThat tickles,â Felix chuckled, squeezing your arm.
âMm sorry,â you sighed as you repeated your action.
Felix chuckled and returned his attention to the screen. You listened to his heart beating loudly beneath your ear, the rhythm increasing with each passing second.
You smiled at the fact, your eyes traveling back to the movie Felix had picked out to watch. You both went back to watching the movie, the end nearing.
Once the closing scene played, Felix started to shift, causing your head to move. You let out a whine, disgruntled at the fact your pillow was moving.
You slowly got up, your hair disheveled. Felix began laughing, his voice filling your small space as he clutched his stomach. You pouted and swatted at him, crossing your arms in defiance.
Felix wiped the tears from his eyes and pulled you into a hug, his arms wrapping around your body tightly. He squeezed and rocked you back and forth, ignoring your giggles and protests to let you go.
You felt your heart flutter, the cute but intimate moment making your cheeks flush with a hint of red.
Felix continued to rock you, his breath hot in your ear as he laughed. You know how to make him stop. With renewed vigor, you grabbed his shoulder and bit down lightly, your teeth sinking into his soft skin.
Felix yelped and scooted back, his eyes wide as he looked between you and his shoulder.
âYou bit me!â He accused, as he chuckled.
You shrugged and giggled, getting up from the couch. You were tired and ready to go to bed. Felix watched as you went through your bedtime routine, his eyes following you with every step you took, forgetting about the slight sting on his shoulder.
Occasionally, youâd stop and strike a funny pose, giggling as Felix laughed at your antics. Eventually Felix got up and started getting his bed ready, as you finished up in the bathroom.
You settled into bed and watched as Felix finished his routine. You chuckled as Felix rushed to his bed, complaining that he was cold. He settled in quickly before sitting up and looking your way.
âNight y/n!â
âNight Felix,â you said blowing him a kiss.
You let out a giggle as Felix quickly laid down and covered himself with his blanket as he let out a little squeak. You turned out the light and settled in, closing your eyes to sleep.
The rain was pelting the windows, the sound calming in the dark. You snuggled in, preparing to sleep when a loud crack of thunder rang out, causing the house to vibrate.
Did you hear a scream? Your eyes snapped open as you strained your ears, listening for the sound again.
Time passed and the rain continued to fall. You were about to close your eyes once more when you heard a soft whisper within the room.
âY/n?â Felix whispered, listening for your response.
When you didnât say anything, he repeated his question, calling out to you softly yet a little more loud.
âYes?â You responded, sitting up within your blankets.
âCan I sleep with you? Iâm umâŠI donât really like thunderstormsâŠâ
You could hear the panic in his voice, his voice cracking as he said the last word.
âOf course, come here Lix,â you softly said, pulling back your covers for him to join you.
You felt the bed dip and Felix shuffle beneath the covers, scooting as close as he could to you. You wrapped your arms around him, cradling his head to you as if to comfort him.
Felix was shaking in your arms, his face tucked into your chest. He was embarrassed. How could he be your soulmate, the person whoâs supposed to love and protect you, if heâs scared of a measly thunderstorm?
He closed his eyes and breathed you in, your scent calming him despite the storm outside. Eventually he lifted his head up and looked you in the eyes.
You stared back at him, holding his gaze as you held him close.
âThank you,â Felix whispered, his lip turning upwards as if to smile.
âOf course,â you whispered back, as you slowly stroked his back.
You both laid there, listening to the rain and gazing into each others eyes. You were glad it was dark, that way Felix couldnât see the crimson that littered your cheeks.
The air was charged with want, the need to be close to each other palpable. Felix shuffled closer until his lips were inches away from yours.
You could feel his nose on yours, his ragged breath on your lips as he held onto you. Your heart was beating rapidly, as nerves took over, your palms sweaty as you gripped Felixâs shirt.
âY/n,â Felix whispered before closing the gap between you, his soft lips pressing gently to yours.
He held them there for a moment more before breaking away, a shaky breath leaving his lips.
âFelix,â you whispered as you connected your lips again, wanting to feel his lips on yours again.
the rain pelted the windows, the thunder rang out, and the lighting illuminates the two of you, tucked away within your blankets, bodies pressed against each other as you lazily pressed your lips together.
The moment was soft, gentle, intimate, as if this moment was meant to be.
And in Felixâs mind, it was, without a doubt fate.
After the eventful night embraced in each others arms, kissing the night away, your relationship turned for the better.
Felix was ecstatic as he felt closer to his goal than ever. He was holding your hand, swinging it back and forth as you both walked home from a day of shopping.
He took the opportunity to spoil you, buying you whatever you wanted. He found himself smiling whenever you would thank him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
âI spy something blue!â You exclaimed, squeezing his hand in yours.
Felixâs eyes roamed the street, looking for whatever had caught your eye. Spotting a blue car, his grinned sure he got it this time.
âThat blue car there,â he said as he pointed at the vessel.
âUgh how are you so good at this?â You whined, pouting at the fact that he got another guess right.
Felix shrugged and chuckled. He pulled you along in the direction of your home, wanting to get back as soon as possible.
A few minutes later, you arrived at your home. Felix pressed his finger against the scanner on the door, the box emitting a tune signaling it accepted his fingerprint. You both tumbled into your home, laughing at the joke you had just made.
Felix dropped the bags he was holding and pulled you in for a kiss, swallowing your shriek of surprise. You relaxed instantly in his embrace, matching his pace as he moved his lips with yours.
He pulled away for a moment before pressing a sweet kiss to your lips again and again until you were giggling, your face warm, and heart fluttering at his affection.
âSuch a sweet sound,â Felix cooed as he pressed another kiss to your lips.
âCome on, letâs get the snacks ready! Iâm ready to have a nice soak!â
You both decided to have a relaxing night in your hot tub, the weather not too cold or hot. You began cutting up various fruits and veggies, as Felix gathered some sweets.
âMake sure to get my favorite cookies!â You reminded him as he piled the plate high with a bunch of his homemade brownies.
âRight,â Felix said as he snapped his fingers, hurriedly searching through the inventory for your favorite chocolate cookies.
You chuckled and began plating the food you just cut up. Satisfied with your work, you walked to your closet, reaching in to pull out your swim suit.
You let out a shriek as Felix wrapped his arms around you and peppered wet kisses on your neck, mumbling at how beautiful you were.
You giggled as you attempted to get away, but to no avail as his hold on you was iron tight.
Felix spun you around before crashing his lips to yours, kissing you passionately as he moaned. You let out a whimper as he nipped at your lip, your core dripping with arousal as you clutched onto his shirt.
But, what were you doing? You both really shouldnât be doingâŠwhatever this is.
You pulled away suddenly, ignoring the look of shock on Felixâs face. You grabbed your swimsuit and made your way to the bathroom, letting Felix know youâd meet him outside.
Felix stood rooted in place confused, wondering what he did wrong. He always kisses you like this, shows you this type of affection ever since that night of the storm.
Typically you didnât mind, fully embracing his kisses, cuddles, and teasing. What made you pull back like that?
Felix slowly turned around and began to change, slipping on his swim trunks and tossing his shirt to the side. He went outside and made his way to the hot tub, his mind preoccupied with what just happened.
He lowered himself in the warm water, sighing as he felt his muscles loosen. Shortly after he got in, you came out, slowly making your way to the hot tub.
Felix tried not to ogle at you, at your curves that were accentuated in the swim suit that barely covered anything. He felt his self blush and his cock twitch.
He needed to calm down and not ruin this night. He took a few deep breaths as he closed his eyes, opening them a few moments later feeling renewed.
You placed the snacks down before getting in and sitting next to Felix.
You both sat there in silence, looking anywhere but at each other. Felix traced the bubbles that popped up in the water, his fingers drifting closer to you.
The tension was thick, palpable in the night air. You tried to focus on the bubbles, the way the warm water enveloped your body, but all you could think of was Felix.
Felix with his bubbly self. Felix and how he takes care of you, cooking, cleaning, treating you as if you are the only woman in the world. Felix with his blonde hair that you love to run your fingers through. Felix with the smile that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, your stomach doing flips as he looks at you.
Felix. Felix. Felix. Thatâs all your life has become since youâve met him. Normally you wouldnât care but you realized you were developing feelings for him, which was playing with fire.
You had a soulmate out there and so did Felix and here you both were playing house. You felt the tears form, threatening to spill over any moment as you continued to think of him.
You couldnât do this. Excusing yourself, you got out of the water and walked back to the house. Felix stared after you, his lower lip trembling.
Heâs messed up, big time. You canât even look at him. He stayed a little longer, his mind racing over the last few months and how things were.
He remembers your sweet smile as he cooks yet another amazing meal for you. He remembers your giggles as he spun you around the room, dancing to the slow song on the radio. He remembers your sweet face as he rained kisses down your face and neck, the sweet sounds youâd make as he nipped at your skin.
Things were perfect and he blew it. Wiping the stray tears that had fallen, he gets up and gathers the untouched plates and carries them to the house.
You left the lights on for him, but you yourself were asleep, buried underneath your layers of blankets. He tidied up as quietly as he could and then changed.
He figured you would want your space tonight, so he made his bed on the couch, somewhere he hasnât slept in ages. As he lays down and looks at the ceiling, his heart breaks once more, this time because of his own stupidity.
He has to fix this, make things right. And he needs to do it soon.
Things between you two did not improve. It was the middle of spring with the flowers blooming and most days the rain fell from the sky blanketing the world with a chill that went to the bone.
Felix still resided with you, still made your meals, made sure you had everything you needed. He gave you your space, too scared to approach you and here you tell him to leave for good.
You worked long hours, opting to stay at the office then be with Felix in your small house. You figured if he was out of sight, he couldnât plague you with his puppy dog eyes and sweet pouts as he doted on you.
However, that came to an end when Felix pleaded for you to come back at a decent hour and let him cook for you. You wanted to say no, but then he looked at you with wide eyes, his pink lips in a pout.
As you stared at him, you caved agreeing to his dinner. You tried not to break the facade as he grinned, his eyes sparkling at your acceptance.
You left for work as usual, your mind preoccupied with the little night he had planned for you two. You were nervous, not having spent a night alone with him sinceâŠwell since that one fated fall night.
You willed the day to go slowly, but of course that was not the case, the end of your shift approaching rather quickly.
To make matters worse, your boss let you off early, thinking they were doing you a service to get your weekend started early.
Grabbing your bags, you made your way home, opting to walk instead of riding in a hover car. Approaching your door, you placed your finger on the scanner, the pad turning green.
You stepped in your apartment, taking in the scent of something delicious being cooked in the kitchen. You kicked off your shoes and padded into the kitchen, watching as Felix scampered around the space, adding finishing touches to the meal.
It took him a while to notice you but once he did he yelped, startled at your presence.
âY/n!â Felix said as he rushed to your side.
âWelcome home!â He said as he grasped your hand, ushering you to the kitchen. âSit, sit.â
You sat down and waited as he dished up dinner. You had to admit everything smelled and looked amazing. Felix dished his plate and the sat down.
âWell letâs dig in!â Felix exclaimed as he picked up his fork.
You forked some of the pasta into your mouth, your eyes rolling back at the flavors as they burst on your tongue. You recovered quickly as you continued to shovel food into your mouth. How could you be mad at this man when he cooks like this?
Felix watched from the corner of his eyes, pleased that you enjoyed his meal. He needed tonight to go well. He would reveal it all to you, his purpose, his reason.
Halfway through the meal, he decided to begin, thinking it was as good a time as ever.
âY/n, can we talk?â
You put your fork down and looked at Felix. Here we go, you thought.
âI want to explain to you why Iâm here.â Felix took a deep breath before continuing on. âIâm from the future and if you remembered, my soulmate was actually not mines but someone elseâs. The matchmakers proposed I go back in time to find my true soulmate, to start over almost. To findâŠyou.â
Silence rang out through the space, neither of you saying a word.
Felix was your soulmate? Felix is yourâŠ
Maybe thatâs why it just always felt good, felt right with him. Why you always trusted him.
Felix is your soulmate.
You felt your heart beat, your cheeks flush, as you fumbled with your fingers. You didnât dare look at Felix, ashamed at how youâve treated him over the last few months.
Shit. What a mess this is.
âY/n?â Felix inquired cautiously.
âSorry. I was just processing everything.â
You truly were, your brain trying to wrap around the fact that you found your soulmate.
âIâm sorry. I just felt like you should know. The timing felt right.â
You nodded agreeing. You got up and started clearing the dishes, your mind reeling with his words. Felix helped you, working silently along you.
After you set the dishes down, you turned and almost bumped into him. You muttered an apology and cautiously looked him in the eye.
Felix stared back at you, his lips parted. You watched as a strand of his hair fell in his face. His beautiful, perfect face. You stood still as he came closer, until he wrapped his arms around your waist.
You both stood there in your kitchen, gazing into each otherâs eyes, taking in every detail, of the need and lust hidden behind the orbs.
You held your breath as Felix leaned forward to connect his lips to yours, the feeling so familiar, as if he was welcoming you home.
Your lips moved together softly, gently, neither one of you in a rush. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers teasing the hairs there as he deepened the kiss.
Felix moaned as his tongue met yours, the two appendages tangling together in a passionate dance. He needed more of you. He trailed his hands down your waist, your thighs, tapping the flesh to signal you to jump.
You caught on and jumped, wrapping your legs around his waist. Felix walked you to your bed, his lips on yours whenever he got the chance.
Right as he got to your bedroom, he tripped over his feet, dropping you in the process. You landed on your back, shocked as Felix tumbled onto the floor.
âOh my god! Are you ok?â You asked, scrambling to peer over the edge of the bed.
âIâm fine,â Felix responded, his face red in embarrassment.
You chuckled, not believing that just happened. Felix looked at you in shock, his embarrassment increasing so much so his ears turned red.
âOh come here,â you giggled pulling him on top of you.
You crashed your lips on his, smiling as he immediately reciprocated. You lost yourself in his kisses as his hands wandered your body, trailing his fingertips along your skin, goosebumps rising in its wake.
Felix moaned as he cupped your breasts, massaging the flesh gently. He could feel his cock swell, straining against the fabric of his boxers. He ground his hips into yours, his bulge nudging your clothed core.
You whimpered at the feel of him, canting your hips up into his, silently begging for more. Felix leaned back and shucked his shirt and sweats off and made his way to you, helping you rid yourself of your clothes.
You laid bare before him, your chest heaving as you panted, your slick leaking out of your pussy.
Felix gazed down at your body, feeling like he was in heaven.
âSo beautiful and all mine,â he whispered as he parted your legs to slot himself between them.
He connected his lips to yours once more as he grasped his cock, running it through your folds. You were so wet, your slick coated his length as he teased you over and over.
âPlease Lix,â you begged, wrapping your arms around his neck.
You let out a groan as he slowly pushed in, his cock sending shocks of pain through your core as he stretched you open. You whimpered as he continued to push in, slowly, gently until he was completely inside you, his cock sheathed snuggly in your warm walls.
âAre you ok?â Felix asked, concern laced in his eyes.
You nodded and swiveled your hips, silently begging him to move. Felix grinned before pulling out just to push back in right. Over and over and thrusted into you, the pain transitioning to pleasure as he fucked you.
He watched you with every thrust, not wanting to miss your moans, your little pants, the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he hit your sweet spot over and over.
âTaking me so well love. God I love you y/n.â Felix groaned as he snapped his hips into yours.
He wasnât going to last long, not with how you clenched around him, how you whispered his name. He reached down to thumb at your clit, grinning as you let out a squeal at the added pleasure.
âThatâs it love, feels good doesnât it?â Felix teased as he circled the bud, adding more pressure as he dragged his cock within your walls.
You looked up at Felix, how flushed he looked above you as he fucked you, as your walls took him like you were made for him. You felt more arousal gush out of you as you remembered you were made for him.
You were his. He was yours.
And as your mind flooded with that thought, the way his finger thumbed your clit, at how he fucked you just right, your orgasm washed over you causing you to let out a straggled moan.
Your walls clenched around him rhythmically as you came, driving him insane. Felix let out a growl as he stilled his hips against yours, his cum flooding your walls.
He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours, mumbling âyou're mine,â again and again.
âIâm yours,â you breathed out as you came down within your lovers arms.
The days passed into summer, each day a treat with Felix by your side. You both have found each other and that was something to celebrate on a daily basis.
Felix showered you with love, waking you up with kisses as he slid between your thighs, making love to you as the sun rose in the sky, bathing you both with its warm light.
He made sure you were well fed, that you wanted for nothing. He peppered you with kisses whenever he could, loving how you would giggle as he kissed your nose, your cheeks, your lips, your neck.
Life was good which is something you havenât been able to say in a long time. â â You both sat in bed one morning, tangled in each others embrace. As you slid your fingers through his hair, you hummed a little song, happy and content.
Felix lifted his head up and smiled. âWhat has my love so happy this morning?â
âHmm maybe you,â you chuckled as you pulled him close.
âNow why is that I wonder,â he teased as he pressed a kiss to your lips and pushed his cock within you.
âAh Felix!â You groaned as he rocked his hips into yours, slow and gentle as the wind gently blew through your open window.
Felix buried his head in your neck as he brought both of you to your highs, your fingers playing with his hair.
âY/n, this pussy, your sweet pussy.â Felix moaned as your pussy clenched around him.
âYouâre mine!â He growled as he bite into the side of your neck, soothing the area with his tongue afterwards.
âIâm yours!â You whimpered as you came, wrapping your legs around him.
Felixâs hips stuttered as he reached his climax, his seed painting your walls white in the early morning hours.
He collapsed on top of you, steadying his breath as he came down. You both laid there in silence, basking in each otherâs afterglow.
âSo what happens now?â You asked breaking the silence. âDo I come back with you? To the future?â
Felix thought for a moment. Deep down he knew what he had to do, but he didnât want to leave you. What if it doesnât work and he doesnât see you again in the future?
No, he wasnât going to take that chance. He would bring you with him.
âCome with me. We can go back together.â
You considered his words for a moment. You didnât want to part with him, so going with him seemed like the best option.
âHmmm ok,â you agreed.
âLetâs get dressed and we can go back to the agency and see what we can do.â
You agreed and got up with him. You both showered and got dressed quickly, not wanting to waste any more time.
Felix hailed a hover car and you both got in, directing the driver to go to the agency. Once there, Felix ushered you quickly to the matchmakerâs office, hoping to see Mavis.
He grinned when he saw her, running up to the woman and accidentally startling her.
âMr. Lee! What are you doing here?â
âI was successful Mavis! I found my soulmate. Weâre ready to go back!â
Mavis looked over his shoulder and saw you standing a ways back, swaying back and forth slightly.
âAh, I can see that,â Mavis said with approval. âCome with me.â
She led both of you to the room Felix was in before, the Time Machine familiar this time around.
âAlright, get in,â Mavis said gesturing towards the glass box.
Felix grabbed your hand and pulled you into the box. Once settled, Felix gave Mavis the thumbs up, signaling you both were ready.
Mavis nodded and pressed a few more buttons, the buzzing sound Felix remembered from last time intensifying.
Felix turned to you and pressed a kiss to your lips.
âI love you,â he whispered.
âI love you too,â you gushed as you squeezed his hand.
The air began to ripple, the room began to disintegrate. The air became thin, both of you gasping for breath as a pain hit your stomachs.
Felix closed his eyes briefly as he felt a stabbing pain in his chest. He squeezed your hand in earnest, hoping it would be over soon.
However, time passed and the feeling remained.
Something wasnât right.
Felix opened his eyes and stared ahead in horror as his eyes took in the vast emptiness. You were still with him, gripping his hand as tight as you could, your face laced with pain.
âY/n!â He said, wrapping you in his arms.
Felix looked around. You were both in an empty space, nothing was around. No people, no buildings, no trees. Nothing.
He felt like he was going to throw up, the pain in his chest slowly dissipating, but not fast enough.
You both sank to your knees, kneeling on air, clutching each other.
How is this possible? Where are you? Was there a malfunction with the machine?
Felix screamed for help, pleading, begging for anyone to help him. To help you.
But to his horror, no one came to the rescue, both of you trapped in some type of glitch.
Felix held you in his arms, glancing at your beautiful face. At least he had you, his soulmate.
Thatâs why he went back into he past in the first place right?
To find his soulmate and here you were with him, in his arms.
His soulmate, someone he can love for eternity and you both had eternity now locked in whatever place you were in.
He brushed your hair away from your face, and gazed into your beautiful brown eyes and whispered
âI love you.â
Taglist: @jehhskz @jeonginsleftcheek @simpforleeknaur @armystay89 @palindrome969 @slut4hee @ivydoesit23 @amarecerasus @kaysungshine @fun-fanfics @baby-stay92 @velvetmoonlght @possum-playground
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Before reading, please check series masterlist to read the warning(s), disclaimer, and to make sure youâre on the right chapter. Minors do NOT interact.
If you enjoy this, you can buy me a Ko-fi :) Likes, reblogs, and comments are greatly appreciated!
TW: detailed description of: violence, scars. mentions of: domestic violence, overdose, infant death, family death. a man's way of thinking.
[Please read while listening to this.]
âSimon me boy, ye need to burn to survive in this world.â
Once, a horrible man, with breath tainted by the acrid stench of tobacco mixed with the remnants of a newly drained liquor bottle, said to Simon. Bloody âell, the amount of shit that came out of that bastardâs mouth, acting like he was some kind of philosopher instead of a wife-beating alcoholic who made his sonsâ lives a living hell.
Young Simon didn't understand what it meant; he couldn't think much other than that his father was telling him to burn himself alive. Something he would do, something he would find temporary pleasure in until he stole the next alcohol money his wife earned during her 12-hour nursing shift.
Entering his teenage years, he didnât think much of those words anymore, thinking of them as just another addition to the incredible amount of shite that came outta that bastardâs mouth.
But it returned when he joined the military. He thought that's itâthat âburnâ his father spoke of was the passion to serve, to protect. To combat the injustices that had lingered since the dawn of time. He wanted to be the one to make at least one change, a difference. To be the best. It served him well, that fire, all through his rookie training.
Or was it fury?
That white-hot rage that burned his gut, driving him forward as the soil crumbled and leaked through the planks of his coffin. It was that very rage that kept him alive, even when he was condemned to suffocate in his own grave. The spark coursing through his red blood cells, filling his fingertips as he dug with someone elseâs jawbone for thirteen hours.
It was his unbridled fury that had stayed steadfast by him when he pledged his vengeance for the blood of his family. It was fury that had carried him out of Roba's burning mansionâanother one to add to his record of outwitting the Grim Reaper.
Simon went on with his life thinking that that was itâhe needed to stay angry to survive in this world. Nothing else matters but getting out, getting vengeance for every cut, every drop of crimson on the dirty tile beneath his combat boots. He had nothing left to fight forâno family, no home to protect anymore. So, fury had to be the answer. Simon just had to stay an angry man.
And he grew rotten. A stray dog always baring his canines. Ill-suited for domestic life, dropping in only when he needed sustenanceâsomething, anything to hold between his teeth to chew and tear.
Those fingers were corrosiveâfluoroantimonic acid in human form, but he did his job even better than he had when he was Simon Riley. Perhaps it was his identity that held him back. Now that he was just an old soul in miraculously intact flesh, there was nothing chaining his feet.
Simon is given three primary roles: hunter, judge, executioner.
Meeting his towering figure means never going home againâany poor bastard who has crossed paths with him is presumed dead. For he has grown rotten; sometimes more corrosive than fluoroantimonic acid, even. He gets the job done, quick and clean.
Simon Riley walks through this world in fury. He is fully conscious, with a dying heart that still beats, filled with deep, deep envy for those who don't have to be angry all the time. Because as much as he needs to keep burning, this is not something he does willingly. It leaves more harm than good. But men like him never have a choice.
Because the pain reminded him that he was alive.
With every blow of the gunstock to the back of his head, he was reminded again and again. As his fist swung at the other guy and the knuckles beneath his gloves connected with a jaw, he was reminded again and again that he was alive.
Simon still hadnât decided whether he was the luckiest or unluckiest bastard alive.
To be tortured, only to realize that he had survived worseâthat he would survive this one and would have to live through the aftermath. And so on until it created a never-ending loop of hell that felt like some twisted form of divine retribution.
âSimon me boy, ye need to burn to survive in this world.â
It was just one of the many bollocks his father spouted. The old man probably wanted to leave some grand, motivational wordsâto leave a mark. But the truth is, he didnât need to do that. Heâd left enough on him. Like all the times Simon stood in front of the mirror, shaving cream around his jawâalmost scared the shit out of his own mum, thinking he was his father.
And he despised thatâthe fact that he would be reminded of that pathetic excuse for a father for the rest of his life. That even after years since his father left home to lie in the hospital, counting his days from that bloody cancer, his mother still had the same fear every time she saw his father in him.
âSimon me boy, ye need to burn to survive in this world.â
He needs to burn.
He needs toâŠ
Burn.
The burning ember at the end of the cigar flares up as Price takes a deep drag of it, holding it in the cave of his mouth before exhaling the remaining smoke and mixing it with the alcoholic aroma of a London pub they visited to âcelebrateâ another successful mission.
As if this was anything close to a celebration. Though Gaz and Soap were indeed deep in their pints and laughing like a pair of drunken fools, the way the Captain and Kate Laswell bend close together tells him that they have already begun discussing some hints about the next op.
Simon massaged the bridge of his nose, feeling the unfamiliar emptiness where his hard-plate mask would usually dig, but instead he found wire beneath the polypropylene. He tapped his fingers boredly on the aged wood, feeling the itch to hold a cold glass in his grasp but having decided not to order anythingâthere was no point; he wasnât really planning on staying for too long anyway.
Instead, he tried to find a distraction by doing what he did best â people watching. He watched the bartender serve some fancy cocktail to two birds at the end of the bar, probably those fruity, overpriced drinks that made his throat sore.
Turning his gaze to the far corner, he saw a couple sitting in awkward silence. Looks like some first date gone wrongâjudging from the bloke's fidgeting and the lass staring down at her drink, not saying a word. Bloody painful to watch.
Simon glances out the window, watching the steady stream of more people passing by. London is always busy, no matter the time of the day. A city of millions, with each person having their own life, their own storiesâthe things they wake up to and go to sleep to.
Often, he compares it to old, half-dead Manchester for familiarities, something that might help him blend in with this city. But itâs always the same endingâthe differences far outweigh anything he recognizes. The bright lights, the bustling streets, the lifeâall of it foreign. Seems like the gritty, depressing streets of his youth still suit him after all.
For an hour, he sat there before feeling himself growing more and more restless. Finally, he pushed himself up, ready to make his escape. Soap and Gaz protested, which he ignored before he gave a nod to Price and Laswell, who didn't question him further, already knowing him well enough by now whenever he wasn't in the mood for socializing.
Simon made his way towards the door, stepping out into the soaked streets of London. The rain is coming down hard, and judging from the dark clouds hanging low, it's only going to get worse and more gloomy. Finally, something that reminded him of Manchester.
Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he walked beneath the raging sky, trying his best to stay under the awnings and overhangs whenever he could. Droplets of water began to wet his leather jacket, but he kept walking, deliberately letting the rain soak him to the bone.
Self-preservation kicked in as he turned the corner onto another block; Simon was about to try to flag down a cab. However, his eyes landed on a lone figure, almost blending into the shadows, standing under the awning of some shop, trying to stay dry.
Simon knows he wasn't a good man, sure as hell not a gentleman. So is this sudden surge of concern some sort of sympathy, or is it because of all the times he's played the heroâsaving countries from missiles, taking down terrorists, all that stuffâthat now he canât turn it off? He walks, long strides stretched out without hesitation even when he knows heâs more likely to do her harm than goodâas evidenced by the growing fear in her eyes, her whole body tensing up like a frightened rabbit.
âNasty night.â He said, being first for the sake of a conversation. That's new.
âUh, y-yes, quite a storm,â she stammers out, those big doe eyes of hers flickering up to meet his for just a moment before darting away again.
And bloody hell, if that doesn't just about do him in. The way she tried so hard to act innocent, as if she hadnât just snuck a glance at him when she thought he wasnât looking. Sweet little thing. Itâs enough to set his blood on fire.
âSubway, yeah?â
âYes, the subway. Though it may be closed by now with the weather.â
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a crumpled pack of cigarettes, taking one out and lighting it. The familiar burn and taste of nicotine soothed his nerves, though he couldnât quite put his finger on why he was so bloody on edge in the first place. He had planned to avoid any socializing tonightâthatâs why he left the lads so quickly, trying to get back to his blessed silence.
And yet, here he was, in the middle of a storm, talking to a strange bird he didn't even know.
It wasnât like he was looking for a quick fuck or anything like thatâhe really wasnât in the mood for any of that tonight. So why? He took a long, slow drag of his cigarette. Do you enjoy playing savior, Simon? To make sure she gets home safe and sound before a bad man comes?
And whoâs to say heâs not the bad man in question?
âSubway's closed, like you said. No sense waiting in the wet.â He threw his cigarette butt into the gutter. âCome on then. Pub's the best place for now.â
The woman shook her head, managing a small smile. âThank you for the kind offer, but I'll be right here. Best not to trouble you further on such a night.â
Smart girl, he admitted. Turning down offers from a sketchy-looking man like himselfâshe has a good head on her shoulders. But as he watched the rain pouring down and the wind howling louder, he couldn't help but wonder if her self-preservation only applied to men and not to the bloody storm and the fever she's definitely going to get if she keeps on insisting on staying here.
âReally, Iâll be fine,â she said, trying to force a laugh. âThe rain canât last forever.â
And he couldnât help but feel a little disappointed at her refusal. But there was a crack in her answerâthe way she wasnât entirely sure, the uncertainty clear as day. He knew the kind like her, the ones who needed someone to turn their back on them and walk away to make them think theyâd made the wrong choice.
Itâs just how some humans operate, and heâs eager to test that theory.
âSuit yourself, love,â he said, watching her eyes widen slightly. "But you'll catch your death waiting in the rain."
Simon started to take a few steps away, counting the seconds in his head. One, two, threeâŠ
âWait!â
When he heard it, he felt a victorious feeling swell up inside. Pausing like some considerate, concerned bloke, he turned to face her, waiting for her to speak.
And when she does, shame leaks from her voice. âI'm coming with you.â
On that stormy night, Simon ends up sitting opposite the skittish bird in a pub, her eyes sweeping around the room with a mixture of curiosity and unease. She looks like she doesn't belong here, probably the first time she's ever set foot in a place like this, judging from the way she keeps glancing at the shelves of liquor bottles behind the bar.
The stranger ordered âsomething light,â and while he gives in and orders bourbon, his drink of choice for as long as he can rememberâa therapist he once saw told him itâs some sort of control thing, the need to stick to the familiar, not the kind that appreciates changes.
As he took a sip of his bourbon, the woman started making small talk. She gave a name. Sweet girl asked about his job and apologized before getting an answer, saying she didn't mean to pry, that she was just making conversation.
Too sweet, he thought. Worrying about small things like that.. How do you manage to get any sleep at night?
Simon says heâs in the military, leaving out details about which part of the military heâs in. She feels obligated, then tells him sheâs a ballerinaâand he wonders if she sees the differences between them. The stark contrast between her delicate, graceful world and the dark, violent one heâs used to.
It's a shame that you have to cross paths with the likes of him â a man like Simon Riley, who's no better than a stray dog ââwith the need to hold something between his teeth.
Worse still, he's a sweet tooth, too.
And so, Simon managed to fuck you on the second meeting.
Fucking hell⊠His tongue flicked against your swollen clit, bringing you to climax, tasting your juices against his taste buds. But nothing could compare to when he was finally inside youâthe tightest cunt heâd ever had the pleasure of defiling. A virgin â the thought of being the first to breach that delicate, untouched fleshâthe faint crimson around his condom like lipstick stainsâset his blood on fire.
Tears in her eyes as her nails dug   on his naked back. Pretty girl tried to play tough, trying to hide the searing pain as the head of his cock continues to press into you, walls fluttering in surprise at the unexpected intrusion. Lips parted in a cry that turned into a moan. Then, his name is uttered in the most vulgar way.
âAh! O-oh, Simon! Simon!â
Something snapped inside his mindâbut Simon didnât have time to care, not when he was buried deep in your warm flesh, watching himself slide in and out of that wet hole like cinematography. Your smaller form flushed and glowing, hair spread in a halo above your head. He held back another growl as you pulsed around him, only to follow with a climax that burned through his entire body.
When it was over, he shouldn't even think about coming back. That's not how he operates; after all, he's the type to jump from one body to the next, never looking back, never a second time.
But the second time happens anyway.
Straight to London after deployment, driving his truck like he has an absolute purpose, like he doesnât hate the city. He parks in front of a grand Neoclassical building and leans against the door, pulling out a cigarette from his leather jacket pocket. He lights it up and waits. He doesnât know your exact schedule, doesnât know if youâre coming to work today, and doesnât know anything about your life outside those two nights. But still, he waits.
As the minutes ticked by, his cigarette began to shorten, the smoke swirling around it. Something wet touched the back of his palm.
âFuck.â He looked up at the sky, realizing it was starting to drizzle.
Then, out of the corner of his eyes, he caught a rushing shadow. Simon turned around just in time to see you emerging from the building, coat wrapped tight around you as you sneezed. He saw you walking, so rushed, like you got somewhere to be. What's got you so worked up, sweetheart?
You walk fast, as if on a single-minded purpose, eyes ahead but mind elsewhere. And thatâs when he sees itâa car barreling towards you at an alarming speed, and you still donât realize it until the blinding headlights catch the corners of your eyes.
Without a second thought, Simon rushed forward, pulling you out of the road before the red image in the back of his head became a reality. The car blares its horn, and the driver shouts a string of curses before speeding off again. He felt the cold air seep into his airways too quickly, painting him dry inside yet his body wet with a mixture of sweat and rainwater.
âChrist, pay attention will ya?â
At the sound of his voice, you finally look up, snapping out of whatever nearly cost you your life. Simon watches your eyes widen like youâve just seen a ghostâsome sort of apparition thatâs just materialized out of thin air.
Someone who shouldnât be here, and he canât help but think the same way.
In the second instance, Simon has you pressed up against the kitchen counter, his hands nomadic on your skin, feeling every rise and dip of your body. He groans as your warm, raw walls clamp down on his cock longingly. Once youâre both sated, he slings a wet towel around your inner thighs, and you return his gentleness with a bottle of bourbon you pour into two glasses.
Simon heads out in the morning, but not without letting you help him find his missing device. The damn thing was hiding in the cushions of your couch. He shoves it into the pocket of his jeans, and that nagging, controlling voice (the one that despises changes and relies on familiarity) keeps reminding him to leave no trace, just like he had done with every previous one-night stand.
Against the itch in his brain, he didn't even bother deleting his number from your log afterward. Instead, he let you save it in your contact list.
(The wandering stray dog ââfroze when the door of a house opened.)
âWill you at least call? Or text, if you can. You have my number now.â You say.
(Warm light seeps out from within, bathing his brown eyes in a goldish hue. That stray dog of his has stopped its roaming, has stopped its restless pacing. It loosens its jaw, saliva dripping down its chin. The tension in its body starts to mellow. Something delicious inside. He should have known better than to get carried awayâthe last time he did, someone kicked him in the shins and hung him by the ribs.
The last time he did, his house was transformed into a gruesome showcase of all he held dear, ending in a bloodbath. His olfactory receptors still remember the scent of iron. Little Josephâs socks soaked in crimson.
You're just a rotten mongrel, Simon.
But-
That sweet, intoxicating scent spreads like pollen carried by anemo. And before he could stop himself, his legs moved towards that warmthâ)
Simon ended promising a text, then disappeared behind your door.
(âlike a moth to a flame.)
The pretty girl takes him to a family eventâyour cousinâs wedding in the picturesque countryside of England. He finds himself surrounded by happy peopleâpeople who donât need to be angry to live. They simply love and are loved, their smiles, laughter, and kisses genuine, fueled by the bonds of affection and not by selfish pursuits.
You introduce him to your cousinâthe brideânamed Sabrina, then to your aunt, Joyce. For people you call a family, you look pretty wound up tight, sweetheart.
And then, just as he thinks that, your mother comes strolling into the conversation, all smiles and pleasantries. But, he doesnât miss how the tension in your body skyrockets, your smile turning into something more forced.
Simon knew that. Because heâd been there himself, growing up with a father who was more interested in the bottom of a bottle than he was in his family; the father who taught him to laugh at a dead prostitute because he thought she deserved itââSheâs jusâ some dumb whore, a drug addict. She was hell-bent on a bad end.â Nothing good in that man, and nothing good in your mother either when you throw up everything youâve eaten after a conversation with her.
Funny how he used to react the same way. Until something changed, that is. The fear and the shame morphed into something else. Fury. Rage.
âYe need to burn to survive in this world,â and maybe for once in his detrimental, too-long life, the bastard was right. And as much as Simon despised staying angry, he stayed angry because it saved him.
When the big day arrived, Simon stood in front of the mirror and stared at a reflection he didnât recognize. Dressed in that damn suit he hadnât worn since God knows when, the jacket clinging to him like a skin that just didnât fit right. He fidgeted with the cuffs, trying to loosen them a little.
It's like Tommy and Beth's wedding all over again, back when he was his brother's best man. Everything smells just as sweet and flowery as it did then, and it's making him sick to his stomach.
âAll set then?â
Simon turns his head at your voice, watching you walk out of the bathroom, your hair styled and your makeup done in a dark and smoky way that suits you so well. Christ, the way it makes him feel.
You spot his tie on the bed, then pick it up and approach him, closing the distance between the two of you. As you stand in front of him, so near that he can feel your breath on his skin, something begins to creep up his chest. It settles beneath his ribs, burning, spreading like a wildfire. But, it's unlike the fury and rage he's familiar with. This one leaves a warmth, a pull towards you that makes him ache to touch you, to hold you.
Simon couldn't take his eyes off you, watching the way your fingers worked in and out to tighten the knot. The way you bit your lip in concentration.
When you ask him to lean down a little so you can reach the back of his neck, heâs made even more intoxicatedâthe mix of shampoo and soap youâre devoted to, the delicate yet familiar fragrance of your favorite perfume that always trails after you. Sweet, but the kind of sweet that leaves him wanting more, like a wild animal who's just discovered a gourmet feast.
Itâs a hunger, a need, to plant kisses on the pillar of your neck and feel the thrumming pulse that lives beneath your soft and supple skin. The ache to hold you, to keep you within his orbit. Something grips his heartâand before Simon can register, heâs leaning in, brushing his lips against yours in a fervent, greedy kiss. He guides you towards the bed, his bulky frame poised to envelop your smaller form.
âSimon me boy, ye need to burn to survive in this world.â
Made to cry, his pretty girl, by the woman who brought her into the world.
In this world, there are many kinds of mothers. The ones like his, all smiles and kindness, baking good pies and forgiving, perhaps too forgiving. And then, there are the ones like yoursâall faux smiles, pretending to be an angel of a mother when he knows full well sheâs the reason you turned out the way you did.
Dependent, easy to manipulate, always trying to please everyone. You thought you could maintain a distance from others, but all it takes is a single act of kindness to dismantle them completelyâthe seemingly impenetrable walls were actually brittle.
A kitten masquerading as a lion, only to purr and melt at the slightest touch.
It annoyed him sometimes, because he knew you deserved better. But itâs also the reason he stayed, he thought. Because he loved playing the hero, especially to a woman who didnât know any better.
(Something, anything to hold between his teeth for him to chew and tear.)
As you wait in the car, he hurriedly gathers the last of his things, shoving them carelessly into his duffel bag. The embers of anger still simmer within him, but Simon chooses to be the wiserâgetting you out of here as soon as possible is a priority.
âI know men like you,â the devil behind him spits. âYou think youâre protecting herâyou think youâre saving her, but all you want is a girl to use and toss aside once youâve grown bored.â
And Simon stops. It strikes a chord within him, punches him right in the gut.
Though, he doesnât say anything. He wants to lash out, to defend himself and his intentions, but doesnât. Whatâs the point? He thinks it would be a waste of time, and youâve been waiting for him in the car for too long. It would just be a waste of breath.
Yet, another part of him knows the real reason.
That she might be right. That she might be right, and he did not like that.
It was always easy to turn away from reality. He pretended to be the wiser man, leaving pointless conversation for good reasons. But the voice in his tainted head always reminded him of what he was made of, what was left of him. He was a rotten man, selfish. Full of desire without the consistency to commitâ
Pretending to stay when he knows he is nothing more than a stray dog who loves to wander.
Simon slashes, rips, and kills men as sport; feasting on the raw hearts of women like his own personal dinner, collecting their teardrops like diamonds on his crown. And yet, he has the bloody nerve to think he can keep something as soft as you in his calloused hands without laying a wound.
(A predator wearing the skin of a man.)
A voice in the back of his head began to whisper, telling him to let you go, to walk away before his teeth sank in too deep and caused you even more pain. Before he became too ensnared, too intertwined.
But he couldn't. He just couldn't.
Not when you're sensually rolling your hips on top of him, your jaw slack as those pretty, plump lips make sounds that cause his cock to twitch in his boxers. The sight of your puffy eyes, the soft curve of your lashes, and the furrowed brows. He groans as you grip his thighs, anchoring yourself to him.
The moans you let outâoh, love, what is this? Why does it feel holy when they're sinning? Like some kind of ablution. He is reborn. He is being sent to heaven, and it is between the plush of your thighsâthe divine liquid dripping down your folds.
You drag your fingers across the raised tissue of his skin, and he is blessed. He observes as your eyes glide over every part of his body, recognizing the differences between the scars he bearsâguessing how they were created. Fire, knives, hooks.
And fuck, angel.
That sickening clench clutches his chest again as he gazes upon your tear-streaked face. This perfect creature is mourning his scarred flesh, once burned and healed, textured. Your lips quivering as you sob.
What are you grieving for, pretty?
Probably thought he was some sort of good guy who didn't deserve this. So consumed by her turmoil, she forgot that every cut and burn meant he survived; he won and survived. Can't say the same about the other guy, though. Not that Simon wouldâno.
He's too selfish to share your attention.
Because what if mentioning others who died in his hands makes you pity them instead? Something a sweet thing like you would do.
âWhy... why would anyone want to hurt you?â You ask, and Simon answers in his mind: Why wouldnât they? âIs⊠is this from your time in the military too?â
âYeah,â
âWhat happened?â
âGot meself âanged by the ribs once,â
Simon was given three primary roles: hunter, judge, and executioner, but you didnât know this. Nor did you know that the bastards who had caused these scars had long since died in the slowest and most gruesome way possible. That house fire he told you about didnât spare them like it spared him.
All of this was evidence that he had hurt and killedâa mortal sin, darlin'. But you let another fat tear slip, thin red roots spreading across your sclera.
Oh.
There was always the other side of the moon that Simon never realized until now, until you did. His Godâyouâare all-forgiving and shed tears because the other side of the story is that he has been hurt and almost killed. So far, Simon has only seen himself in three main roles: hunter, judge, and executioner. Never the other way around: prey, defendant, and victim.
And ohâoh.
The âGodâ on his pelvis rocked her hips, taking him to many pleasant placesâplaces a sinner would never have the luxury of visiting. The burn inside him twisted into something differentâsomething warm that pulsed in the chambers of his heart and spread and crawled across his chest.
This wasn't the old fury. So, Simon convinced himself this was lust.
The conclusion must have been made in a hurry, or more like in desperation to see past the truth. He tried to bury it in the depths of his mind where he wouldn't have to acknowledge it. But Simon knew lust shouldn't last this long, nor should it leave him feeling invigorated simply because you had smiled at him.
This wasâ
âGonna watch a ballet, LT.?â
Simon snaps out of his thoughts, blinking back to reality. Between his bare thumb and index finger is the special pass you gave him a week agoâthe same piece of paper Soap was questioning just now. He turns in his chair to face his sergeant, greeted with that infuriating grin of his.
âDidnât know you were the artsy type.â Soap added.
âYou shouldâve knocked, Sergeant.â
Soap laughed. âAye, I did. But you were too busy starinâ at that ticket to notice.â
The lieutenant didnât respond, just shoved the pass into his drawer, shutting it with a snap. Soap raised an eyebrow, a sign that he was still curious, but had no intention of voicing his questions, at least for now anyway.
âWhatâs this about?â
Soap's grin faded. âAh right. The Captainâs askinâ for ye.â
Johnny watched those brown eyes flicker to the flip phone and then to the skull glove on the table as Simon considered something. Unfortunately for him, that was allâthe damn balaclava prevented him from seeing the slightest glimpse of expression that might have been hidden behind it.
âIâll be there,â Simon said, dismissing Soap with a wave of his hand.
The sergeant narrowed his eyes, pursing his lips in that way he always did when he was trying to figure him out. Then, he walked toward the door, twisting the doorknob. Just when Simon thought he was finally gone, Soap stopped, pausing for a moment.
âYer obsession is gettinâ worse, sir,â he commented.
At first, Simon didn't understand what he was referring to until he followed Soapâs gaze, and his own brown eyes landed on his duffel bag. Where the skeleton charm you bought him was hanging.
Simon didn't say anything. The door closed with a click.
The voice of his old therapist echoed in the back of his head, saying how he had this need to always be in control, that he hated feeling like he was losing it, like there was something out there that he couldnât predict or manage. Thatâs why he clung to what he knew and hated changes.
But as he sat in his office, surrounded by the same four walls, the same desk, the same chair, the same bloody routine he had followed for years, he felt something twisted itself inside him, grafting itself into the tissue of his scars.
It triggered an itch in his skull.
Simon stood up from his chair, jaw clenched, as he strode over to where his duffel bag sat. That voice was louder, the words he had heard playing back like they were on a cassette tapeââthereâs gonna be things in life that are out of your control. Anâ thatâs okay. You donât have to be in charge of everythinâ.â
âAnâ when that happens, you just have to let it happen. You canât avoid it forever, Lieutenant. Avoidinâ it doesnât mean youâve solved itââ
Clenching his fists, he tried to deafen himself, only to end up inviting another sickening voice. âSimon me boy, ye need to burn to survive in this world,â at that time, he didnât understand what the hell his old man meant by that, searched the whole world for answers.
Now, after all this timeâafter mistaking it for passion, for fury, for lustâthe answer stared back at him, daring him to face it. He let out a scoff, thinking how that was the most uncharacteristic word to ever come out of that man's mouth. Fuck.
ââit just means youâre signing yourself up for more painââ
Simon yank the skeleton charm off his bag, the metal clinking against the zipper as he tears it free. He exhales, his chest empty after heâs done what heâs best known for.ââanâ self-destruction.â The voice finishes.
@strawberrygato @aprosiacperson @chipsbuttercream @arrozyfrijoles23 @pastel-devil-06 @rroseskull
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i realised the "antis" thing and the age-old joy of shipwars is one reason i don't comment on fic as much as i would otherwise - there's this fear that appears that the author will click through to my own Works and see that i have written The Bad Pairing (whichever one that is for that person, which i mostly have no way of knowing) or some trope that enrages them and they'll like. block me and/or reply angrily. as far as i know this has never actually happened to me and yet for some reason i still worry about it.
#the downside of multishipping is that you can end up writing EVERYONE'S NoTP at least once#btw one of the main reason i tag posts on tumblr with the relevant pairings is so people can filter it out if they want to#but like. if i comment on 10 yr old thorki fic will the author get offended by my sylki fics?#and will the sylki writer be angered when they see the thorki ones?#is this because 15 years ago someone on LiveJournal called me an âevil shipper trollâ for a comment whose content i remember nothing of?#possibly!#gonna admit the âget followed by someone who has unfollowed me by the time i see the notificationâ MIGHT be getting to me a bit D:#anyway i'll try to comment more on things and to reblog things. at the risk of being blocked or flamed or whatever.
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I'm so pissed off, i just saw someone on twitter calling out Snow fangirls and naming people stanning characters like him ("hot" but evil) "the anakin effect" as if liking anakin has been a mainstream phenomenon for longer than a month.
#like im sorry but liking the prequels at all and anakin in particular has always been SO niche#im gatekeeping him if you haven't been a star wars fan since at least 2014 you can't stan the prequels OR anakin :/#like on the one hand its great that thanks to nostalgia and ahsoka (tv) hayden is getting his due but like. look at the COST#ania speaks#txt#i've had this blog for like 6 years and this url for idfk almost that long#and i literally used to get asks from people who reblogged from me (a star wars blogger (and sometimes some other things) through it all)#asking me what i was referencing#hell some girl once asked me if i was using her last name as an url for some reason (???)#like you just cant make it up.#the anakin effect my ass thats just YA!!!!! tbosas is YA!! ya fans are EXPERTS at woobifying terrible men#anakin isnt one you stan because you want to fix him (if you do. you're very weird tbh)#you stan anakin bc of the TRAGEDY. the CORRUPTION. the forsaking of everything in the name of power.#anyway today i went to see tbosas with a friend i've known for years and she acknowledged that i've been on the trenches#for him + the prequels in general since f o r e v e r it was so vindicating
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the first thing people always notice about alana is her eyes.
#headcanon. dr. bloom.#headcanon. dr. bloom. a good forensic psychiatrist; maybe the best.#[theyâre the frost of water turning to ice before its full freeze in the earliest winter morning.#theyâre the color it turns as it thaws slow slow slow and then freezes again. theyâre so cold.#but theyâre purely near white blue. wolffish and beautiful at once. they can be so cruel. and she can have the kindest eyes youâve ever#seen. she can make you feel incredibly loved or she can absolutely crumble you with a glance. she KNOWS it too.#all her emotions show through her eyes is also the problem. she lies so well because she forces herself to feel it. so potent.#she can replicate an emotion painfully well for herself. she fucking hates it. itâs so hard and so much to deal with. but without itâ#she wouldnât be her. sheâs explained the way her empathy works to a few people and I distinctly remember it was trish who was like#âJesus Christ I wouldnât want that shitâ without even meaning to before going âit sounds so overwhelming to deal withâ before Alana broke#down in tears seconds later because sheâs not hard and if you think she is youâre buying what sheâs selling and youâre being grifted.#Alana bloom is my most dangerous muse and I write kitty ânexus of nothingness embodiedâ valentine.#but I tend to think: would kitty be tricked into⊠anything by Alana? oh yeah. like. immeasurable yeah. a yeah the size of Texas.#Alana finds your weakest point because every single diamond has a flaw and she just g e n t l y begins to chip.#sheâs good!hannibal. sheâs the actual good doctor like. I think Tara Jess and I have unironically convinced the fandom thatâs her title.#(lmfao it isnât itâs lecterâs but book!lecter deserves it. show!lecter was a shit therapist. at least book!lecter was amazing at his job.)#and you know who his protege is? Alana!!!! sheâs so deadly Iâm in love with her and Iâve loved her for years now.#me: this is the side character Iâve written for more than a decade who causes a chain reblog reaction every time I post that gif set#if you know you know.]
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I posted 2,327 times in 2022
827 posts created (36%)
1,500 posts reblogged (64%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@the-cat-at-the-theatre-door
@munku-collar
@white-cat-of-doom
@sillybub
@cassandra-has-moonlit-eyes
I tagged 2,321 of my posts in 2022
#cats the musical - 2,288 posts
#cats musical - 2,287 posts
#cats us tour 6 - 356 posts
#jellylorum - 262 posts
#victoria - 260 posts
#demeter - 253 posts
#bombalurina - 247 posts
#cats rccl cast 12 - 244 posts
#cats uk tour 2022 - 232 posts
#cats international tour 2022 - 230 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#part of me wants to change my avatar to one of these pieces but i cannot bring myself to take away the 2019 rumple i have had for two years
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Today is the day! The Il Sistina production of CATS opens tonight (07 December 2022) in Rome!
Below are some more specific character photos, outside of larger group photos.
Jacopo Pelliccia as Gatto GiĂČ (Bustopher Jones, a separate character in this production).
Photos taken by Gianluca Sarago.
Gaia Soprano as Cassandra.
See the full post
133 notes - Posted December 7, 2022
#4
Everyone generally knows what the Rumpus Cat looks like in traditional productions, right? A bit silly, with funky hair and red eyes.
Meanwhile in Japan, the modern Rumpus Cat looks like this:
The hero we never knew we needed.
(Fukuoka 2021, January 2022; Kenshin Mori as Rumpus Cat, Miki Okudaira as Jellylorum, Eiko Kataoka as Rumpleteazer, Yuki Takahashi as Old Deuteronomy, Taijun Kanemoto as Munkustrap, and Yurie Sato as Bombalurina. Almost fully hidden is Haruaki Tamai as Mungojerrie.)
141 notes - Posted February 21, 2022
#3
Rehearsals have started for the production of CATS at Teatro Sistina in Italy, starting 07 December 2022, an officially licensed non-replica from RUG.
The designs are interesting in that they have reference sheets for both the makeup and costume.
See the full post
149 notes - Posted November 9, 2022
#2
The promotional pictures for the UK/International Tour 2022 have been posted!
See the full post
181 notes - Posted May 31, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I never uploaded these pictures last year, so I figured now would be a fun time to celebrate Pride Month again. Who better than with my favourite cast of Cats in Vienna?
See the full post
192 notes - Posted June 1, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review â
#It has been a good year for me and CATS#I luckily got to see the last cast three times and the current cast (only) once#An interesting breakdown here#I would have thought I created more posts but 36% is much higher than the 3% last year!#Plus I reblogged from myself a fair amount which lessens those numbers compared to making a new post altogether#Jellylorum being the top character tag is actually a bit surprising to me#But good for me for pulling that off#Poor Jenny was in enough posts#I had completely forgotten about that top post but that is fun to see#Aside from myself being in the top 5 (I would not thought I counted towards that) the reblogged blogs the list is not surprising at all#And that longest tag! It did not take long after for me to overhaul (as much as you can overhaul on mobile) my appearance to change my icon#To one of the beautiful art pieces of my OC Freya that Jemi created and I would not have it any other way now#Thank you again Jemi for creating those#You are too kind and immensely talented and that is why you were obviously going to be my most reblogged blog#Apologies to anyone who gets tagged and would rather not for a post like this#I guess the main point to all of this is to say thank you to everyone who interacts with this blog and to anyone who makes content#Enjoy your passions and interests and maybe someone else will love it alongside you but at the very least you are making it for yourself#Let me see if I can overtake my reblogged posts with my created posts next year#I think I am well on my way#I hope I offered everyone some fun posts and up to date information on the musical as the (official) unofficial source for everything CATS#(that last one is more a joke but at this point how much of one is the question?)#Rambling over#Thanks for everything everyone#Who knows maybe I will actually have something important to say next year
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Comment Bingo: Old Fic Edition
Very simple rules: connect 5 squares in a line by commenting on fics that suit the task in each square
Very simple goals: encourage readers to comment on older fics; encourage fandom writers to KEEP WRITING
STEPS:
Download Bingo Card HERE (png) or HERE (jpg) or HERE (pdf)
Complete the tasks on the card, marking off each as you go, until you've completed 5 in a line (vertical, horizontal, or diagonal; NO double-dipping; center â„ïž is a free space)
POST your winning card (or list your filled squares) and tag @feedthefandomfest! Glory in your victory.
SEARCH TIPS:
This card requires some familiarity with AO3's search filters. Once you've narrowed your results according to fandom/ship/additional tags, certain squares require you to sort the results by Date Updated, which is the default. Other squares require you to search for fics posted within a certain range of years, which you can do by scrolling on the search menu to More Options:
Note that to enter a date range, you must format the date as shown.
REWARD:
âš victory badges âš
New badge for this card, but here are examples from previous cards:
Tag me when you earn a bingo (or double, triple, quadruple... FULL CARD bingo) and I'll reblog a shiny badge with your name on it to commemorate the win.
FAQ:
Can I comment on tumblr or only on AO3?
Either one is great! This card especially is more designed with AO3 in mind, but some can be adjusted to suit tumblr as well, so I say go for it. Tumblr fics deserve love, too.
Can one comment count toward multiple squares if the fic fits more than one category?
Since the goal is for as many fics to receive comments as possible, try to comment on a different fic for each square.
Is there a time limit?
Nope! Take your time or set your own deadline, whatever works for you. This blog is still in its early experimental stage, so feedback welcome. Play around and let me know what you like and what might be added/changedâincluding ideas for squares on future cards!
Do I have to record progress on the actual card?
Nope! If itâs easier to keep track in a different way, thatâs fine. This is all very honor system, so if you say you earned a Bingo, weâll call it a win đ
Some people have been tracking not just completed tasks, but the fics they read along the way, so that when they post a bingo, they can also promote the fics/authors in a little rec list. Not required, but definitely cool to see!
Can I adjust the task in a particular square to suit my comfort level?
Of course! If you deliver something in the spirit of the task, then itâs all good. Use your best judgement in constructing a comment that will make the author smile, and you can consider it a job well done.
In general, so long as each square has produced at least one comment, youâre golden and I salute you đ«Ą
Happy commenting!!
#comment bingo#old fic edition#feed the fandom fest#this one is for the ambitious#more of a scavenger hunt than other cards#please note that you can narrow your search field however you wish before sorting according the task in the square!#i've added searching/filtering tips under the cut
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lotus
a/n: this has been sitting half-written on my pc for i don't even know how many months (tbh at least half a year. i was living somewhere else when i started it wow). finally took a deep breath and finished it (though with an ending that kinda flies by a bit because just wanted it to get done. i was scared that the story would never see the light of day, so zooming through the ending was a better option)
summary:Â a nervous breath then escaped his lungs before he uttered, âyou do know what kind of massage this is, right?â to which you only blinked back at him all the same, none of your shock evaporation at his words, âyou know that Iâm here to give you more than just a regular massage?â
warnings: massage therapist!bucky barnes x reader, smut, sex worker!bucky, bucky doesn't have the metal arm in this one, thinking that your friend just signed you up for a normal massage but then it turns out to be an erotic one, kissing, dirty talk, manhandling, fingering, toys, multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, anal, double penetration
word count: 4000
⌠gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here âœ
masterlist |Â join my taglist
With a hand tangled up in one of the ties of the robe you wore, you answered your front door after finally hearing the bells chime.
âHi,â a soft smile swiftly warmed up the features of the man standing on the other side of the threshold, âare you miss Y/l/n?â
âYeah, I am,â a tingle of nerves flickered through your body as your gaze washed over him, âyou must be the masseuse.â
Why did he have to be so attractive? If it was this difficult to remember to breathe when he was standing completely out of your reach, then how were you going to survive a guy such as him touching you?
Following your gaze down to the folded-up table he carried, he nodded, âguilty,â before setting down the duffle bag he clutched in his other hand and extended it for you to grasp, âmy name is Bucky.â
âBucky,â you briefly shook it, ânice to meet you.â
âYou too,â the touch faded, and he bent down to pick the supplies back up, âso, where should I set up?â
âOh, in here, in the living room,â you gestured behind you and shifted to the side for him to enter. As he set up everything, you stayed at the perimeter and felt your heartbeat thump behind your ribcage, âis it weird that Iâm a bit nervous?â you then quietly asked.
Briefly pausing his actions as he unfurled the massage table, he cast a glance your way.
âItâs not weird at all, itâs okay,â he stated in a calm tone, âbut I assure you, this is a completely safe space, youâre in good hands.â
âI justâ, this wasnât exactly my idea, or even at all,â your hands fiddle further with the terrycloth tie around your waist as you began to ramble, âNat, my friend, she told me that I needed to relax, so she booked this appointment for me as a treat. I donât even know what it is she signed me up for, if it was just like a little five-minute long thing or what.â
âOh no, she signed you up for the full package, 90 minutes.âÂ
âReally?â your eyebrows rose, âwow, thatâs amazing.â
Once the table was set up and he rummaged through the bag for a towel as well as other supplies, his low timbre filled the room once more.
âSo, before we start, Iâd just like to ask if thereâs anything off limits to you, anything you donât like or that youâre not interested in? Or perhaps something in particular youâd like today?â
âUh, I donât think so,â your eyes narrowed slightly as you thought, quickly scanning through your body to get a good sense, âyou can just be as rough with me as you want.â
âAlright, you like it rough, good to know,â you felt yourself suck in a silent breath at the way the phrase fell from his lips, âyou ready to begin?â
âYep,â you swallowed, hoping he didnât notice how flustered he seemed to make you.Â
He then lifted up the ivory sheets heâd sprawled out on the plush bench and held it up high, giving you a smidge of privacy as you dropped your robe to a nearby armchair, before laying down on the table and feeling the cotton drape over you.Â
As you layed there on your stomach with your face comfortably nestled in the little nook, you sensed Bucky adjust the fabric, folding it down so that your entire back was exposed.Â
A dull click found your ears as he pumped some oil into his palm. The very first touch conjured a brisk breath to fill your lungs as his hands slid along your spine, spreading the slickness around.Â
Though when you finally managed to force yourself to relax into his touch, a soft moan slipped from your lips as his meticulous grip found a muscle particularly sore.
âSorry,â you timidly apologized for the sound.Â
But he simply zeroed in on the very spot that had made you groan and said, âdonât apologize, whatever bubbles up, please let it out.â
Your lips stayed half parted as his touch dug deeper, âit just feels really good right there...â
âYeah, you seem to be holding a lot of tension in your back, especially right here between your shoulder blades.â
âProbably all the time on the couch,â you let out a pitiful chuckle, âI just kept on getting into uncomfortable positions and then stayed like that. Which, funnily enough, is pretty symbolic of how I ended up there in the first place, stuffing my face with Ben and Jerryâs and binging the most depressing of romcoms.â
âBad breakup?â he guessed.Â
âI donât think you can call it a break-up if you never really were together in the first place,â you let out a sigh. Yet again had you fallen for a guy whoâd turned out to be a complete and utter asshole, âmen are just pigs,â you spat out, âno offence.â
âOh, none taken,â he uttered, âyou know, itâs actually very common for people to get this particular treatment after something like that.â
âReally? Your touch is on the same level as bawling your eyes out to Joni Mitchell?â you jested, âwell, now Iâm really happy that I let my friend talk me into this.â
Soon, when his touch had kneaded every inch of your back, it faded away and reappeared lower on your frame as you then felt him fold the sheet up to expose your legs, letting the thin fabric only drape across and cover the curve of your bottom.Â
Once his touch had soothingly wandered up the length of your legs and as his broad palms dented your slightly parted thighs, you nearly didnât notice through the trance-like state youâd drifted off to when his reach crept close enough to your core to feel the heat radiating off it. A gasp parted your lips as his fingers briefly ghosted against the very outside of your puff before retreating back down your thigh.Â
âIs it alright if remove this for a bit?â he then asked as you felt his hand clutch the sliver of modesty that remained.Â
âOh, uhm,â you fought to comprehend his question through the haze youâd slipped into, both the haze of relaxation, though maybe more predominately the haze of sin, which was most likely what had swayed you to utter, âsure,â trying your best to stay calm as he removed the sheet completely.Â
It became a difficult task to keep your quiet noises at bay and have them not seep through your heavy breath as he then began to massage the soft peak of your butt.Â
You tried to remind yourself that it was the biggest muscle on the human body and thereby completely normal to be treated in this manner, but that truth would have been easier to swallow if it had been a less attractive specimen touching you in such a way.Â
Eventually, Buckyâs lavish rubs came to spread you apart with each repetitive motion, surely granting himself a perfect view of just how mortifyingly wet youâd become.Â
As he let his broad thumbs dig into your sitting points, you told yourself it was the slipperiness of the oil that caused his fingers to sweep closer to your core and not your own nectar that had leaked down towards his touch.Â
It felt so good that your hips unconsciously tilted up and into his touch, as his thumbs slid close enough to caress your outer lips, nearly capturing them in a gentle pinch.Â
You didnât know how long it took, how long you essentially grinded into him as if you were in heat, but eventually, you snapped out of your fog and realized just where his fingers were.Â
âU-uh⊠w-what are you doing?â your frame jumped slightly at the realization.
âDo you not like this?â his touch paused, though didnât retreat.Â
âWhyâ, uhmâŠâ you nearly panted, âyouâre just very close to somewhere else.â
And when he simply uttered, âyeah, I know,â in an almost amused and cocky tone. You swiftly propped yourself up onto your arms and glared back at him, successfully prompting him to rip his hands away.
Snatching the sheet back over your frame as you scrambled to a seat, you stared back at him in utter shock, âIâm sorry, but are you actually trying to sleep with me right now?â
His brows furrowed slightly as he blinked back at you, seemingly confused at your outburst, âIâm just doing my job.â
âIâve had massages before, that was notâ⊠that right there was something else. That was not you doing your job, that was your hands being persuaded by your dick.â
A nervous breath then escaped his lungs before he uttered, âyou do know what kind of massage this is, right?â to which you only blinked back at him all the same, none of your shock evaporation at his words, âyou know that Iâm here to give you more than just a regular massage?â
âWhat do you mean?â
âOh boy, Iâm sorry, I thought you knewâŠâ his glance fell to the floor as he then began to enlighten, âwell, the lotus wellness center, where I work, specializes in the blend of not just physical and mental health, but also sexual health and satisfaction. An erotic massage, like the one you were signed up for, is one of the many services we offer.â
Your eyes had grown as wide as saucers during his explanation, âo-ohâŠâ
âI totally understand if you wanna stop, if youâre not interested.â
âIââŠâ you tried to make heads or tails of the situation you found yourself in, âso you were gonnaâ, what? Fuck me?â
âI was gonna try and make you feel good, help you relax and unwind. You were signed up for the aurelia treatment which would involve me using my hands to pleasure you, as well as whatever toys you might be interested in.â
âToys?â
âYes, I have a generous collection with me,â he briefly gestured back to the duffle bag resting on the couch.Â
âOkay, uhmâŠâ one of your palms came down to brush over your features as you fought to comprehend it all.
âDo you want me to pack up and go?â you heard him ask.Â
Slowly, ever so slowly, before you even realized it was moving, you shook your head. Letting your gaze flutter back up to find his, you exhaled lowly, âfuckâŠâ
âI can also just give you a completely traditional massage if thatâs what you want.â
ââŠand if I wanna try the other thing?â you nearly whispered.Â
âDo you?â Â
âIââŠâ you tried to speak, though couldnât find the words and ended up just hazily nodding back at him.Â
âAlright,â he gently mirrored the nod that still faintly rocked your head, âI wonât do anything youâre not comfortable with, I promise. You just say the word, okay?â
âOkay,â you breathed, shivering slightly at the tingle of goosebumps that spread across your flesh.Â
The way he held your gaze a moment longer before shifting it to the massage table you still sat upon made you feel as if you might melt off it entirely.
âLay back down,â he faintly nodded to the bench.Â
Your eyes stayed glued on him long after you now layed sprawled out on your back.Â
Letting his touch graze the sheet you still absentmindedly clutched to your chest, he asked, âdo you wanna keep this on?â
âNo,â you shook your head faintly, âyou can remove it.â
âOkay,â he gently peeled the fabric off of you, âjust say if you get cold, alright?â
âMhm,â you hummed, still having a hard time wrapping your head around the fantasy you found yourself in.Â
He began by working at your arms, tenderly spreading some oil across them and massaging down the length of them, one at a time, till his skilful fingers descended to work at your palms. It nearly felt as if he was merely holding your hand before he tossed you into the deep end with how intimate the simple beginning sensed.Â
You couldnât command your gaze to leave his visage as you traced his every move as if he was made of stardust.Â
When his warmth let go of your hand, he reached for the bottle of oil that didnât have a pump and unscrewed the top. Your bottom lip got caught by your teeth as he then poured a bit out over your stomach, curving the s-waves of droplets all the way up and across your boobs, dripping over your pebbly nipples as they stared back at him.Â
As Bucky began to rub it in, he first stared softly down at your belly before swooping up, only to skip over your tits entirely and instead yanking a disappointed whimper from your lungs as he then commenced massaging your shoulders.Â
You felt a bit lightheaded as you blinked up at him, all tall and broad, looming above your head and digging his warm touch into the base of your neck.Â
Though when his rough palms finally did swoop down to caress your soft peaks, he quietly checked in, âthis okay?â to which you simply nodded your head, eyebrows knitting together at the intenseness of the built-up anticipation.
Your entire chest cage heaved beneath his touch as he finally massaged your boobs, even occasionally fleeting away to ghost across your nipples, only to capture them in a pinch the next moment.Â
You felt as if you were floating down a calm stream, letting the river of sin take you somewhere new and wonderful.Â
Eventually, his broad palms swept up and down your form, though each time his reach dared to near your core, he barely touched you at all, missing entirely the spots that throbbed for attention, which of course only caused the sensation to deepen and render you even more desperate from his teasing.Â
When he then shifted to stand to the side of the patted table, his deep voice washed over you once more as his touch stayed warm against your skin.
âEverything okay so far?â
âYeahâŠâ you hummed as you lazily blinked up at him, and the soft smile that curved your lips caused a similar one to bloom upon his own.Â
His slow stride then carried him further down till his fingers began to dent the softness of your thighs.Â
After heâd made your eyes flutter at the way he worked at the muscles in your legs, focusing on one thigh at a time, slowing working his way up till his fingertips stretched to dizzily brush against your outermost petals, it was then, that his sweeps grew and blossomed till one fleeting tease to your centre morphed into more as he kept coming back, each fluttering time slowly transforming till the maddening pets had become everything youâd dreamed of.
Soft whimpers flowed out of your lungs as he gently folded each of your legs up by your sides and cracked you wide open for him. Â
As he gazed down at you with such intensity youâd never experienced before, it only took one step for him to change his angle and stand tall next to your hips.Â
Letting his palms run up your inner thighs, the edges of each of his broad thumbs then met and joined on either side of your pussy as he captured it in a light pinch, making you moan softly, âfuckâŠ.â as his touch rolled your clit through your glistening puff.Â
You nearly didnât catch it because of how hard your own pants were, but Buckyâs own breaths had picked up as well and with a few stray curses seeping through his teeth as he continued to pluck at the strings of your pleasure.Â
But then, before you could truly lose yourself to the ecstasy you felt flicking in your periphery, his hands slipped away, a smirk fast on his lips as a whine escaped you and he returned his attention to the rest of your body. Though thankfully, his torture only carried on a short moment before he finally granted you the first of many treats.
âOh, yeah,â you couldnât help but moan as he rubbed your clit and carried you over the peak.Â
âRight there?â he leaned down closer to you as he kept up his pace, his free hand coming to rest right beside your head as he loomed over you.Â
âYeah,â you breathlessly panted as your body trembled beneath his touch.Â
âYeah?â he huskily echoed, nearly sharing your breath as he drew out your orgasm for as long as he could, and even as your body began to squirm at the sensitivity that swiftly set in, his touch never left you, only lightened to make it bearable and tickle you back from the high.Â
He studied your features fiercely as his fingers then came down to tease your entrance.Â
âHow about this?â your leaky hole swallowed up the two digits he swiftly filled it with, âhowâs that? Is that what you want?â
âOh fuck!â your back briefly arched and lifted you off the table, closer to him for but a moment as sloppy sounds of your want echoed at the slow rhythm he played you at.Â
âOr do you need a little more maybe?â he sneaked another finger inside, âhuh?â his frame then bent down till you could feel his hot breath fan across your face, âwhat do you want? You want something more to make you feel good right here?â his fingers slid back out of your pussy and fluttered up till they found your puffy pearl, âor here?â he briefly soared back down to plug up your cunt once more, but only offered you one messily rock before his digits slipped back out and drifted down much further than you expected, âor maybe even here?â you let out a gasp as the slick pads of his fingers glided over your little rosebud.Â
âIâ, Iâ,â you struggled to answer him, feeling so foggy that you might just fall off the table, âfuckâŠâÂ
âI have any toy you could dream of with me,â he purred as your grip found his shirt for support, âso, what do you want?â
âI wantâ, I wantââ
âWhat?â he pushed as he continued to stare down into your eyes.Â
And as blinked back at him, only one wish came to mind, one that you timidly whispered, ây-youâŠâ
But as fear began to prickle at your nerves, they all dissipated as the masseuse wasnât offended at all, your words somehow conjuring a dazzled smile to appear upon his lip before he then chuckled warmly, âroll over for me.â
You nearly gave yourself whiplash from the hast you tried to fulfil his command.        Â
As he soon kneeled down to be on level with where your head was now twisted and resting on its side, his hand drifted up for you to spot the dildo clutched in his grasp.Â
Handing it off to your flicking fingers, his touch briefly lingered on your cheek, stroking it softly as he said, âthen pretend this is me, will you? Get it nice and sloppy for me.â
When you began to plant pecks across the silicon, your eyes shadowed him as far as they could as he straightened back up and walked back far enough to disappear from your sight, only for you to know where heâd gone to once you felt his mouth begin to devour you whole.Â
It became difficult to concentrate on the task heâd given you, so much so that he had to remind you each time his lavish tongue buried between your legs caused your own to forget itself.Â
Arching your ass further up towards his efforts, he tilted away from your drooling cunt and instead nipped up till he lapped against your other hole.Â
âOh, that feels really good,â you moaned around the dildo as you tried to catch a glimpse of him, though only saw the edge of one of his hands and they dented your bottom.Â
âYeah?â he let a dollop of spit drop to your rosebud before he nudged the pad of a thumb against it, âyou like having this little hole played with?â
âUh-huh,â you nodded, then watched as he momentarily dipped away to snatch up a butt plug from the zipped-open treasure trove his bag was.Â
Once the toy was snugly buried within your little ass, he snatched the dildo out of your mouth and a string of your drool chased the silicone as he brought it back to tap against the sloppy petals of your pussy.Â
It didnât take very long after heâd begun to fuck you with the toy that you tumbled over the edge once more, making you that much more malleable when he yanked at your legs and manhandled you down to the bottom of the bench till your unsteady feet were once again on the floor and he had you bent over the table like a needy whore.Â
That was also when your weak pleas began to bubble out, begging for him to fill you up with something other than a toy.Â
Even though you couldnât see his face, you swore you heard a tinge of astonishment in his tone when he asked you to clarify, making sure it really was him that had you begging and not just the way he made you feel.Â
Though once you finally managed to convey the sincerity of your words and convince him of the way he and not just the acts he was performing, drove you wild, it was in the middle of chasing your next high that he broke his pattern and traded out the dildo with his own hard cock.Â
A low moan seeped across your spine as he buried his length completely and let himself melt down against your back. Letting himself savour the sweetness of your warmth clenching around his fat girth, it took him a while before he finally began to move and soon found a steady pace that had your toes curling against the floorboards.Â
His fingers gently dug into the soreness still remaining all down your back as his hips repeatedly collided with the plush of your ass in desperate thrusts. Though as his digits worked their way down the length of your spine, they eventually found the little plug that still remained in your ass.Â
Teasingly twisting the toy, you thought that was everything he had planned, though all of those fantasies fluttered away when he suddenly yanked the small plug out and switched it with the bigger toy still firm in his grasp, your little hole only managing to wink up at him before he stuffed it full once more.Â
You lost track of the amount of times he made you cum as the remainder of the intense dance became a bit of a blur. At one point he had you flipped around and lying on your back, gasping up at him as he folded you in half and nearly broke the massage table beneath you from how hard his deep strokes were. At the next, the dildo he drove you mad with was traded out with his own fat cock and he conjured a vibrating wand to hold against your puffy clit as he watched your pussy leak from the bliss. But at the end, once you were nothing more than a puddle on the table, his load painted against your tits as he let his frame drape down atop of yours, a hazy question left your lips.
âIs that usually how that goes?â you asked as you both panted, plastered against one another.Â
Raising himself up only enough for his eye to catch your own, he uttered sincerely, ânoâŠâ and his gaze flickered down towards your lips, âno, it is notâŠâ before he let himself give you the thing you hadnât dared to request. The kiss was so sweet it nearly caused you to forget the sinful acts youâd just wrapped up.
© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubbleÂ
#leaâs writing#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x fem!reader#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes hc#bucky x reader#sebastian stan smut#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes oneshot#winter soldier smut#massage therapist!bucky barnes#sex worker!bucky barnes
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adding these additions from @vaspider in the reblogs in because yes, allergies/celiac CAN actually be That Sensitive. two weeks ago I nearly had to go to the ER because I was in the same building as a popcorn machine dispensing buttered popcorn, using "dairy free" butter with artificial flavoring vaguely derived from casein/dairy butter for two minutes. i am allergic to the flu vaccine because the viruses are grown in chicken eggs. i am allergic to the very air in starbucks. my immune system can detect egg and dairy contamination in concentrations too small to be legally required to be labeled.
polyculture crops definitely are an improvement for the vast majority of people, but the impact on the minority people consists of symptoms ranging from "miserable and unable to work for a week" to "death". personally, I do support finding better/more sustainable agricultural practices to replace the Corn Monoculture TM, but it is in some cases a literal matter of life and death for products such as walnut-grown wheat and wheat-grown walnut to be clearly and properly labeled, and for those products to not be the only available and/or affordable options at any given grocery store.
#text posts#agriculture#allergies#food allergies#problems#for non allergy people (or at least non-off-the-charts-anaphylactic allergy people) of whom i assume OP is one#imagine there is a field of lets say. lettuce#and in order to combat an infestation the farmer has decided to cover the field in rat poison pellets 24/7 for the entirety of its growth#and by cover i mean those poor lettuces are barely poking out of the sea of poison. every small animal within a two mile radius is dead.#and then the farmer harvests it#and *separating large leafy plants from poison pellets is easy enough right?*#and now you're at the grocery store. you see the Rat Poison Lettuces.#there aren't any poison pellets in the display box as far as you can see#but would you really still eat the Rat Poison Lettuce -_-#'there is functionally no danger of cross contamination' and yet there is 'functionally' no danger of half the situations i have reacted to#IF YOU CANNOT SAY THERE IS *NO DANGER AT ALL* YOU NEED TO TREAT IT LIKE A POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS SITUATION#it is approximately a one in a million chance last i checked to have *any* reaction to flu virus egg protein residue#meanwhile i had Instant Anaphylaxis#nobody i live with can eat eggs or anything overly cheesy in the house.#i have my own set of dishes and if you use a pot for eggs or dairy that is forever an Allergy Pot#which must be washed and stored separately from everythign else and never again used for anything in proximity to my food#not to mention that ops second post focuses entirely on wheat-contaminated walnuts and not walnut-contaminated wheat#when celiac can be one of the most sensitive food related immune disorders#AND every subsequent allergic reaction can increase the severity of your next one.#within ten years i went from 'stomachache from eating a full plate of contaminated food'#to 'i breathed in One Oxygen that touched a cheese once and i am trying very hard not to die in the middle of the sidewalk'#if youre going to dismiss every single person in the reblogs mentioning severe allergy risks please go inhale rat poison /s#apologies if this comes off as overly aggressive. cross contamination keeps nearly killing me and i feel overly aggressive right now
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URGENT: Pregnant mother and her four children in Gaza are burned and without shelter (verified)
Samira (@samiraayman5, @samira-family) is a pregnant mother with four children -- she and her children were sleeping rough after being displaced from their home in North Gaza multiple times, and when she finally managed to raise enough money to buy a tent for them to sleep in, it was burned by the occupation in a bombing of Al-Aqsa Hospital where they were sheltering, and so were her children.
Now Samira and her family are once again without shelter as winter approaches and the temperature is dropping, and her children also need burn medicine, which is approximately $400 due to scarcity, an expense that is on top of the exorbitant cost of food, and the money required to get another tent, as they're currently having to sleep on the hard ground.
Samira is afraid she will give birth not in hospital, or even in a tent, but on the dirty ground: this is extremely dangerous not just because of how unhygienic it is, but because of the serious diseases that are rampant in the Gaza Strip - including Hepatitis C - and Samira's anaemia and asthma, conditions caused by the displacement and suffering of the past year.
At the time of writing (4th November 2024), Samira has raised $2,959 USD out of her current goal of $20,000 USD.
The $400 for the burn medicine is needed URGENTLY so her children can heal from their injuries and avoid infection, as is the money for a tent so Samira does not have to give birth on the ground without even a mattress or tarp - tents in Gaza are currently selling for hundreds of USD, so realistically Samira needs to raise at least $1000 USD as quickly as possible.
If you can give anything to help Samira provide for her children and see to their basic needs, please donate to her gofundme (link: https://gofund.me/18a035a1 verification by @90-ghost) -- she is in great need, like so many others, and has nowhere else to turn.
#palestine#important#boost#verified#donated#may speaks#mutual aid#fundraiser#free palestine#genocide#signal boost#tw burns#urgent#samira ayman#samiraayman5#samira-family#90 ghost#vetted#gofundme
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no you know what I'm going to scream about the stuff I talked about in the tags of this post publicly
I'm tired of the well-meaning "don't feel bad if your work only gets 20 notes your genius is what counts and do it for you!" bullshit. I've had a good handful of friends who have straight up DEACTIVATED in recent months because their work was not getting reblogged AT ALL. No, it wasn't from lack of not being well-liked, no it wasn't from lack of trying to make sure it was getting out there to the people they knew would engage with it. It was because no matter how much they were praised privately for their work, when push came to shove, absolutely NOBODY reblogged it and gave it the audience that it was due, and I'm tired of people shoving the "unsung genius" narrative as an excuse for it. Nothing excuses that. And the boop event really proved that.
because I know given the opportunity, indiscriminately pressing a button (sometimes 10 thousand times, as I did) is not beyond this website's capability. y'all loved doing that. and look at what it wrought. nothing but love and affection and happiness. just from a couple of quick clicks of a little paw button. sure. nobody knew who you booped but the other person (which is how likes used to work on this website, btw). there was an element of anonymity to it. but that is kind of the core of this website that no other social media platform still has: the ability to be anonymous. and hyper-curating a blog on here like you might on twitter or instagram to project an image is simply not viable. and hey. you wanna know a secret: literally nobody cares what you post or whether it goes with the "theme" of your blog or not. yeah. I know. CRAZY concept in this day and age. but literally. I myself have reblogged things that have had nothing to do with whatever I am currently fixated by and you know what happened to my follower count? not a damn thing. in fact, I actively try to reblog things specifically BECAUSE it's my friends who made them (even though I'm not always good at KEEPING UP WITH HOW MUCH THEY POST @prismatica-the-strange will NEVER GO UNRECOGNIZED by me).
And you know what fucking sucks? I have to deal with this too. surprise right? you ever wonder why I reblog fics or art I post like 20 times the day that I post them? do you ever wonder why I ask about tag lists and beg for asks all the time? IT'S BECAUSE EVEN I GET LIKE. 5 LIKES ON THE THINGS I POST. AND THE REST OF THE REBLOGS ARE MINE SO I CAN MAKE SURE THAT PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SEE WHAT I MAKE GET TO SEE IT. and I say that knowing that I'm certainly not an unpopular blog, or an unpopular writer. I know that people love the stories that I create. Hell, half of the people that I've talked to about lady terror have told me that they consider her to be canon (AND EVEN SOME!! THOUGHT SHE WAS!!! WITHOUT EVEN HAVING WATCHED THE SHOW! WHICH IS STILL SO SO WILD TO ME!!!) But especially in the last 4 years (which really dates this phenomenon), my posts, no matter how well received they've been amongst people I've talked to about them directly, I still go into the notes and at least half (often more than half) are MY reblogs to make sure people saw what I posted. and it happens every single time, and I can't tell you how much it crushes me considering that it used to be that I would be able to post it only once, and people would reblog it sometimes even HUNDREDS of times.
It's not about popularity. it never has been. it's not about anxiety. or shifting website cultures. even if you lurk, the simple fact is, that if you want people to keep making what you love. you have to reblog. your theme won't suffer because you reblogged a fanfiction that you really admire. your posting won't be ruined because you reblogged some fanart from someone in a different fandom. really. I promise. and if people do unfollow you for that? who needs em. followers come and go but you should NEVER have to cater to them. on this website it has ALWAYS been the other way around. lean into it. make it yours. put stuff you ACTUALLY WANT to be seen and that you love and appreciate on your blog. no matter how old it is, how new it is, no matter how niche or off-theme it is.
so please. if you really want to show your appreciation for someone's work? you reblog. it's really as easy as that. check the tags. add some when you reblog if you like. but please for the love of god reblog. it's as easy as booping and even more rewarding for the people who you reblog from. if you want to let someone know that their work is genius and appreciate it? show it. reblog. then DM them if you're too nervous to say what you want to say but not in a public forum. but for christ's sake. REBLOG.
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The Video (18+)
Pairing: Best friend!Hwang Hyunjin x afab!reader
Genre: Smut (MDNI), bit of feelings
Word count: just under 3k!
Warnings: Idol!au, subby!Hyunjin, slightly perv!reader, recording, (maybe a bit dub con because he doesn't mean to send it but reader watches it anyway), mommy kink, masturbation (both but separately), Hyunjin fantasizes about reader, reader fantasizes about Hyunjin, lmk if I missed anything!!
Summary: Hyunjin finally gets some alone time after weeks of hard work and decides to use his time to... relax. The next day he ends up sending you something on accident that sets off a big change in your lives, with or without either of you really realising.
Note: My first ever fic!! :3 Inspired by a video I saw on phub. (@cbini (Ems isn't on Tumblr rn she still wanted to be tagged so I hope it's ok), @comet-falls, @hyunsvngs, @mnwrld and @skz-hell lmao hello everyone, writing blog reveal!!đ here's this fic I've mention to all of you as an anon<3 (depending on who you are I'm either âïžanon, đŸanon or sounding anonđł)). To anyone reading this please give me literally any feedback (comment, reblog, anything!), I want to know if this is good or not since it's my first ficđđŁ
Please do not under any circumstance copy, translate, or repost my works!
It's been exactly three weeks since Hyunjin's had any time for just himself, though it feels like months at this point.
Recently everyone's been running around like headless chickens and between vocal trainings, dance practices and the studio, there hasn't been much time to just relax and recharge. Preparing for a new album really is the busiest time of an idols life.
There hasn't even been time to see family or friends, which is common during busy spells like this, but always dissapointing to think about. Now even more so, with how much he's been wishing to spend time with you, one of his closest friends... who also happens to be his crush. Not that he'd ever let you know though, not in a very long time.
It feels almost like a blessing, getting back to the dorms from practice late in the evening and realising... he's got the place all for himself, at least until his roommates get back from the studio.
Changbin had messaged him earlier, telling him that they'd probably be there well past midnight, so there was no use waiting up for them. To him though, this was the very opposite of an issue. With that much free time, he'd definitely be able to... make himself comfortable, so to speak.
See, not having time to relax also means he'd basically had no time to get off. The best he'd been able to do had been quick little sessions barely once a week in the shower right before passing out on his bed from the exhaustion of working hard.
The realisation that he'd be able to do anything he wants during his time alone is enough to get his dick twitching in his jeans and he decides the shower can wait until later.
Hyunjin goes to his room and locks the door after himself even though he's alone, it's just become a habit after so many years living with his members. He sets his bag down next to his bed and thinks through his plan.
Hyunjin has a little secret, which is that he loves recording himself do dirty things that range from more vanilla to much less vanilla. Something about the thrill of being recorded even if no one will ever see it just... makes him so fucking horny.
He opens the camera of his phone, puts it to video mode and presses record. Moving his hand off the lense and setting it down where he normally sets it, on the carefully placed pile of books on his desk, he sits down on his bed.
"Hmm... I hope the angle's good... It's been so long since I've had time for this", Hyunjin sighs with a pout and brushes his hair out of his eyes. He knows the camera won't see it though because he's made sure the stand, his pile of books, is at a level that cuts off his head perfectly.
Hyunjins hands run down his body slowly and he exhales deeply, just loud enough to get picked up by his phone. Once they reach his jeans he unbuttons them, unzips the zipper, then pulls the jeans down just enough to expose his underwear. Hyunjin pulls his shirt up over his stomach to be held in place under his chin, rubs his hand over his bulge and hums.
It's been so long since the last time he's been able to take his time making himself feel good. It's almost embarrassing how quickly he's getting hard.
He takes his dick out his boxers and then spits on the palm of his right hand. It's dirty and wet but it just turns him on even more. He grabs his dick with the hand and slowly moves his fist up and down, to spread the saliva and precum all over his dick to make the slide easier and wetter but to also get himself to full hardness.
"A-ah, ohh... that's so good... Feels-fuck, feels so good", Hyunjin sighs. It really won't take him too long to cum, he just knows it. He's been pent up for far too long.
He tries to think of something to help his issue and immediately thinks of you, no matter how embarrassed or dirty it makes him feel.
When you first started showing up in the dirtiest corners of his mind he felt so ashamed. Now it doesn't matter to him anymore. You'll never find out so why feel bad?
He continues to move his hand on his dick while thinking of you. The last time the two of you had time to hang out together you'd worn the lowest cut shirt he'd ever seen on you. He had tried so hard to act normal around you but whenever you bent down he'd been able to see into your shirt.
"Haah, fuck..." , he squeezes himself a little harder at the memory. Everytime you moved he could see your bra poking out from the top, black and lacy. The entire time he'd been doing his best to not bust in his pants. Oh, what he'd give to be able to see your tits. They always looked so soft and they'd probably fit perfectly into his palms.
Whenever the both of you would hang out at yours, watching movies and just hanging out, you never bothered to wear a bra. Why would you? It is your house where you want to be as comfortable as possible.
The feeling of laying down on your couch watching a movie with you on top of him, in just a t-shirt, will end up driving him mad one day. Everytime he'd felt your nipples poking into him he'd almost moaned out loud.
"Hngh... Oh my god, please... m-mommy!", he lets out pathetically, moving his fist faster. God he just wants you to use him, to do anything you want to him. The thought makes him whine desperately.
One of the most common fantasies for him is you on top of him using him to get off, not caring about if he's close or not. You'd sit on his face and ride it until you cum. He could probably cum untouched like that. All he'd need was tasting you and seeing you cum, just for him.
All the sudden he remembers the phone recording him and he shudders. He imagines what your reaction would be to seeing him like this. Would you be disgusted or delighted? Would you tell him what to do and how to touch himself? Maybe you'd touch him... He hopes you would.
"Mommy... please touch me, aah- oh!", he runs his thumb over the head of his cock just right and his thighs twitch but he keeps them open, in perfect view to the camera.
Throwing his head back he imagines you riding him. You'd be so tight and wet around him. Maybe you'd tie his hands behind his back so he wouldn't be able to touch you... he'd really like that. You'd feel godly around him, Hyunjin thinks.
"Fuck, oh fuck! Mommy I'm-haah, I'm so close, please!", his dick twitches desperately. You're so gorgeous, to him you're the sexiest person he's ever seen. He feels himself getting so close that tears spring to his eyes.
"Ah- 'm gonna... mommy, gonna cum...!", he whines out long and loud. It takes Hyunjin two more strokes to let go and he cums the hardest he's cum in weeks. He doesn't even register whispering your name. Hyunjin leans back on his left hand and keeps stroking himself through it.
The feeling is overwhelming, so much so that his thighs start twitching pathetically and the tears in the corners of his eyes fall. He's getting incredibly overstimulated but he keeps going, wanting to keep enjoying the feeling, just a bit more.
He squeezes himself one last time and suddenly everything on him feels gross and dirty. He's just had the best orgasm in weeks so it's no surprise that he came a lot, everywhere. He even managed to get some on his chin.
"Fuuck... Did you-haah... did you enjoy that?", he chuckles to the phone. It takes a while for him to come down from the high, the twitchiness and the feeling of euphoria lingering in his body. Once he's capable of standing up again he stops the video.
With his body feeling like jelly, he takes off all his clothes, drops them into his hamper and prepares to shower, at last.
Hyunjin wakes up to his alarm the next day feeling more refreshed than he's felt in weeks. He shuts off the still ringing alarm and quickly gets up from his bed to get dressed and go eat breakfast.
Checking the calendar on his phone to make sure he knows his schedule for today, he makes a note of one thing; he'd have a lot of time alone at the dorms today too, since he's only got a dance practice and a recording session today, which obviously means 3racha will stay behind to stress about their songs while Hyunjin can return early. Maybe this time he should continue the latest piece of art he's been working on after he gets back?
Hyunjin gets through the day well enough.
After eating breakfast he messages you a "Good morning pretty <3 please remember to drink water!" like every morning when he has time for it. He gets to the practice room only five minutes late, which is a record this early in the morning, because usually he ends up sleeping in at least ten minutes (which makes Chan scold him for being such a heavy sleeper).
He does well at practice, even though he ends up a little exhausted. That's nothing new though, with how hard they always work to be the best they can be.
The rest of the members leave to take a break but Hyunjin decides to stay behind to film the solo choreography he's been working on for fun. Once he's happy with how it's turned out, it's time for him to go record his lines.
The recording session goes smoothly, without hundreds of retakes and everyone's satisfied with the result. Afterwards they decide to order some take-out, as a reward for a job well done... and also because they're all feeling too lazy to even think about going to the dorms to cook.
While eating Hyunjin finally realises to check his phone again. "Good morning, take care of yourself too!! :)" is your response to what he sent earlier. It's nothing more than a kind response but it makes him grin to himself like the fool in love he is.
"Yaaah!! Hyunjinnieee, what's making you smile so beautifully?", Changbin leans towards him with his signature flirting-with-Hyunjin grin, mouth half full of rice.
"It's nothing," Hyunjin responds back to him cheeks red, "and don't talk with your mouth full hyung... Do you not have any respect?"
Changbin decides to drop it in favor of eating more delicious food.
"Oh come on... we wanna know!!", Han pouts at him from his seat on the couch in the room. Hyunjin shoves another mouthful of food in his mouth to avoid the embarrassement of explaining how a single text messaged from you manages to make his heart beat out of his chest.
Once Hyunjin's done eating he's free to go back to the dorms and just like he suspected the rest of his dormmates stay behind to work some more, although they all whine at him to stay to explain the previous mystery. He declines and they all keep their sad puppydog eyes on him until he's out the door.
He keeps texting you during his ride, all the way to the dorms. Once he's in his room Hyunjin decides to just change into some clean clothes. He's too excited to talk to you and get to painting, he can wash up later.
He lays in his bed to keep texting you and at some point your conversation changes from how your day's been going to talking about dancing and he mentions how he just today filmed a new choreography bit he's made for fun.
âŁïž:
Can I see what you've been working on? :)
I'm sure it's really good, you always are!!
Jinnie:
Well... since you asked so nicelyđ
[video sent]
Quickly sending the video Hyunjin exits out the messaging app, feeling so giddy he can't help but squirm around on his bed. He still can't believe someone like you could be interested in seeing him dance.
It might seem like a small thing for most but he feels himself turning red just thinking about the way you look at him while he talks about something so important to him. It makes the butterflies in his stomach every time you're near go crazy. It's so attentive, like you actually care and are interested in his interests... and maybe even...?
'No' , he thinks to himself. There's probably no way you could ever actually be interested in him, not in the same way he's interested in you at least.
He leaves his phone charging and finally gets out of bed to go to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. He'd need it if he wanted to stay up late to work on his newest art piece.
Hearing the familiar 'ping' notification of receiving a message makes you open your phone again and just like you thought, Hyunjin had sent you the video of his latest masterpiece of a choreography. Not waiting a second you press the video just to see.... Hyunjin take his hand off the camera and set the phone down on the desk in his room he draws on. He sits down on the edge of his bed and says something, you aren't really sure what, because the volume's too low. In confusion you turn it up more.
Hyunjin sighs and reaches up to move his hair out his face, probably. You can't see it though, because the camera cuts his face perfectly off frame. Suddenly his hands run down his body to the button on his jeans. He opens it and starts undoing the zipper next. You just look at the video in shock. 'He isn't about to... to take them off is he?', you think to yourself, just as he pulls the jeans down enough to expose his white boxers and then palms his bulge.
Should you stop watching? Keep watching? How long has it even been playing? How long does it keep playing? While you wonder this you almost miss Hyunjin pull his hard dick out of his underwear and spit on his palm and... Oh God...
You've now done something you can never take back. The downright sinful view of his cock is something you don't think you're ever going to be able to forget. How do you even face him after this? After watching him grasp his dick in his hand and pump it a couple of times to spread the spit and precum around.
You exit the video, panting and absolutely soaking through your underwear. Your other hand rushes to your face to feel your cheeks. They're burning and feel like you've been standing out in the sun for hours, when in reality all you've done is accidentally watch your best friend play with himself.
You struggle to decide what to do with the video and in the end save the video without much thinking, then delete the message of it and decide to notify him of his mistake. As long as he doesn't know you saved it, it should be fine, right?
It takes Hyunjin less than 10 minutes to make and get the coffee. He returns to his room humming the tune of a song he's had on repeat recently. Setting the coffee down on the desk and taking his phone off from the charger he notices new messages from you.
âŁïž:
Uhm...đ
Hyunjin, I don't think you meant to send that.
He looks at his screen confused. What did you mean by that? He...
Oh God.
Did he send the wrong video?
Frantically opening the video he sent earlier he sees himself, in video, move his hand off the phone camera and set it down the desk near his bed and sit down. Oh no...
"Hmm... I hope the angle's good... It's been so long since I've had time for this", video Hyunjin sighs and reaches up to move his hair from his eyes. His head may be out of frame but he clearly remembers pouting while saying this. He watches himself slowly unbutton and unzip his pants, adjusting them so that his boxers are clearly visible in frame. In the video his hand drifts towards his crotch slowly, teasingly.
He quickly exits the video and promptly shoves his head under his pillow and yells. He'd accidentally sent the wrong video while hurrying to get a cup of coffee. How could he have messed up this bad? In his panic, it takes him a moment to respond.
Jinnie:
Oh god
I'm so sorry!!
Please don't watch that!
âŁïž:
Don't worry!!!
I stopped watching the moment you started unzipping your pantsđ
I saw nothing, promise!đ It's been deleted already!!Â
Little does he know though, you'd kept the video. You're not really sure why, but subconciously your brain keeps screaming' to finish it later, of course'.
...
Fuck it, you don't think you can wait until later.
Taking a deep breath, you open your gallery to find the video he sent you. You hesitate for a second but press play anyway. You can feel how you're already soaking through your underwear but pay no mind to it yet.
You watch him do the things you've seen already, all the way until he spits in his hand... and you pause the video. 'Is it right to watch this? I mean, he didn't mean to even send it...', you think to yourself.
But the thought of seeing him touch himself, to hear him make the sweetest noises you could ever in your wildest dreams imagine him making drives you on.
Pressing play again you dip your fingers into your pants. You rub yourself over your underwear and oh my god... you can't believe the wetness you feel after less than a minute of watching the video. You focus on the phone you're holding in your other hand and finally move your fingers into your underwear to directly touch your pussy.
On your screen you see Hyunjin start to stroke himself faster, the head of his dick a dark pink, you can feel his desperation through the screen. Without thinking you move your fingers to your clit and start rubbing it in circles, aided by the wetness of your leaking pussy.
He moans out loud and even though you can't hear it through the fog in your head, you know he's desperate. You move your fingers down to your hole and dip two of them in. You're so wet you barely need to even stretch yourself out and then he does it.
"Hngh... Oh my god, please... m-mommy!"
You push your fingers deeper and your pussy lets out he lewdest squelch which in turn makes you close your eyes desperately in pleasure. 'Mommy? When he masturbates he calls out for mommy??', the thought makes you lose your mind. You think about what it would be like if he called you mommy in the throes of pleasure.
You want to make him follow every command you give him. The way he'd look up at you on his knees with you standing above him. Maybe you could make him suck on a strap? He'd look so ridiculously delicious with his mouth full, drool dripping down his cheeks.
You add another finger and start rubbing at your clit with your thumb at the same time. The feeling makes you whimper and imagine his hands on you, teaching him how to touch you perfectly. You're getting so close and you remember to focus your screen again.
Hyunjin looks absolutely disheveled. His dick is red and throbbing, you can tell he's getting close. His voice is another thing that gives him away. He's whiny and his voice keeps cracking every time he opens his mouth. Hyunjin bucks into his hand and moans.
"... mommy, gonna cum...!", he strokes himself twice more and then finally cums. You're so close it's maddening. All the sudden you hear him... whisper your name?
It makes you go off the edge and your entire body clenches and seizes while you silently cry out from all the pleasure you're feeling. Your walls suck in your fingers with how you're clenching around them. On the screen Hyunjin twitches violently, working himself through the end of his orgasm.
You pull your fingers out of yourself and slump down on your bed exhausted, but the last 20 seconds of the video that's now over haunts you. Did you hear him right?
You gather strength to pick up your phone again and rewind the video to the part where he cums and turn the volume almost all the way up. Admittedly you end up fixating on the way his dick looks and face twists in pleasure when he cums and then he says, or more like whisper your name. Your brain blanks.
"Fuuck... Did you-haah... did you enjoy that?", he chuckles to the phone, sits in place for a bit to properly come down and then gets up to stop the video.
You're wet, confused and you can feel your heart beat out of your chest. What do you do now? How can you ever face him normally after that... Does he feel the same way you do? Is he sure he didn't mean to send it?
It's all too much to think about, so you decide that instead of thinking about it you'll clean yourself up and... crawl into a hole where no one will ever find you. Probably. The only thing you know for sure is you definitely won't be sleeping tonight.
© lollixp0p 2024 | please do not under any circumstance copy, translate, or repost my works
#cupidâĄwriting#sub!idol#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#skz x reader#skz smut#hwang hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin smut#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin smut#dividers by cafekitsune
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Somebody [SVTHUB world tour collab]
pairing;Â choi seungcheol x f!reader
genre;Â smut (minor dni), fluff, angst, romance, fake dating au
summary; When you need someone to help you out of a bind quickly, you pick the first person you see to be your âboyfriendâ, you just didnât expect it to be your single hot dad neighbor, Choi SeungcheolâŠ
content warnings; single father!seungcheol, teacher!reader, seungcheol has a child (obviously), eating/drinking, jeonghan/joshua (implied relationship but not stated), betting metioned, alcohol, medical field - doctor!seungcheol, doctor!joshua, mentions cheating in past relationship, mentions death/accident of spouse - widow!seungcheol --- i am sure there are more, if there is anything important you want me to add let me know
smut warnings; unprotected sex (birth control mentioned), creampie, fingering, oral (f receiving), begging, crying (pleasure), multiple orgasm, lots of pet names, marriage kink, seungcheol carries the reader and is larger than the reader, manhandling, shower sex...again if I miss something let me know.
w/c; 25.2k and some change (623 extra words for patreon bonus)
svthub world tour masterlist
a/n;Â thank you to my @junkissed for proofreading for me once again, i love you so so much. i really hope you guys enjoy my little addition to the svthub world tour and those on tumblr will join me in Barcelona for the bonus đ
before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here
You were exhausted. You had been living in your new apartment complex for around three months, yet you still werenât completely unpacked. Between work and just a general unwillingness to complete a single project that had to do with your personal life, it seemed easier to let the boxes sit where they lay until they became an inconvenience. Today, they were an inconvenience.Â
So now you find yourself having worked a full eight hour work day and you still managed to unpack four of the daunting boxes, and you were feeling pretty good about yourself. At least you were until you made your way down to the parking lot to put the boxes into the recycling bin and heard an unwelcome voice.Â
âY/N⊠hey.âÂ
Your ex-boyfriendâs voice made any strength you had in your arms leave as you attempted to push the boxes into the large blue bin. He didnât live in your complex. In fact, you had moved out of your shared apartment with him, which was at least a 20 minute drive away. It should surprise you that he would show up uninvited and unannounced, but after a five year relationship with him, you knew he was persistent.Â
Wiping your hands off on your jeans, you clear your throat and turn to meet the manâs eyes before looking for how you were going to get out of the situation. You werenât afraid of your ex; it was more that he didnât know when to stop. You had told him time and time again, after a very messy breakup where you had caught him cheating, that you wouldnât take him back. It didnât make it any easier that you had the same profession as him and when things had been great, the two of you had applied at the same place.Â
âAlex⊠wild seeing you here. You donât even live here.âÂ
He knew you were being evasive. You did the same thing at work, but that didnât mean that he couldnât still try. Persistence was key. There had been something there between the two of you that made a relationship last for as long as it did, and if he worked hard enough, he could get it back. At least thatâs what he thought.Â
Sighing, Alex watches you turn away from him, heading back towards the building. Following behind you, he groans when you shoot him a dirty look.Â
âBabe, seriously? Iâm looking at the apartments in the area. I thought Iâd just stop by and say hi.âÂ
Rolling your eyes, you use your body to shield the keypad so you can type in the code to unlock the complexâs door, hearing the code get denied, once and then twice. You were flustered and hitting the wrong buttons.Â
âSure, whatever. You have a perfectly fine apartment, and donât call me babe. Iâm not your babe.âÂ
When you canât seem to get into the building, Alex sighs again, reaching out to try to comfort you, but he only manages to make you uncomfortable as he grabs your arm, telling you to calm down. You look to the door surprised to see it opening, a larger man furrowing his brows at the sight in front of him before you give him a relieved and pleading look.Â
"Oh, thank God, hi honey. Alex, have you met my boyfriend?âÂ
Tilting his head in confusion, Seungcheol looks between you and the man holding your arm before he sees the desperation on your face. You were in some sort of distress. He knew you lived in the building; in fact, you were his neighbor, though he hadnât had much of a chance to speak to you yet. Seungcheol knew he could say he didnât know you, go on his way, staying out of your business, but something about you and what was happening told him he needed to play along. Extending his hand towards the one around your arm, Seungcheol gives the man a tight warning smile.Â
âHey man, Iâm Seungcheol.âÂ
You feel Alexâs hand slide from your arm, his brows furrowing at the new information. Watching the two men, you feel your heart in your throat as they shake hands and the man named Seungcheol moves closer to you with a smile, looking at you expectantly.
âIt was great to meet you Alex, but uh...â Clearing his throat, Seungcheol tries to think about how to get you out of this without making you uncomfortable. Shrugging, he sighs and just goes for it. âI was just coming to see why you had been gone for so long. Dinner is ready.âÂ
Your cheeks burn as Alex stares at you, his eyes narrowing. You can tell he is almost looking for holes in your and Seungcheolâs story, but when you smile and Seungcheol puts his arm around your shoulders, Alex rolls his eyes. You werenât sure if he actually bought the entire story on the spot, but it had been enough to get him to put his hands in his pockets and for him to back up, muttering.Â
âIâll see you at work, Y/N.âÂ
Offering your ex a strained smile, you lean into Seungcheol until Alex is out of sight. Taking a deep breath, you feel the pressure of being around him lift off of you before you glance up at Seungcheol and give him an apologetic look. Moving his arm, Seungcheol chuckles and shakes his head, turning back towards the door and using his keyfob to open it for you, letting you slip by him.Â
âUhâŠthank you. Seriously. Iâm so fucking sorry to drag you into that.âÂ
Leaning against the metal doorframe, Seungcheol just smiles and shrugs. His eyes stay on yours as you walk backwards for a few steps towards the elevator.Â
âMy pleasure, honey. Have a good evening.âÂ
You canât help the smile that spreads across your lips when the handsome man teases you. Backing into the elevator door, you laugh and shake your head, turning to press the button before glancing back to look at Seungcheol, still watching you for a moment before he waves and lets the door shut, leaving you alone.Â
Finally, in the elevator, you can take a breath as you lean against the wall. With each soft ding of the elevator as it climbs the floors, you chew at your lips and laugh under your breath at how the exchange between you and Seungcheol has ended. It was silly for you to feel so smitten by someone who had just helped you out of a hard situation, but god had he been attractive.Â
Walking towards your apartment, you sigh, taking your key out of your pocket as you glance to the door next to yours. Your brows furrow as you remember the first few days when you had moved into the apartment complex and you had met your neighbor in passing. He had been nice, asked you if you needed any help, but most of all, he had been attractive. Feeling your heart sink into your stomach, you picture the face of the man who had asked if you needed help moving boxes and itâs the same face that had pretended to be your boyfriend.Â
âSara!âÂ
Jutting your hip to the side, you barely manage to let one of your students run by you as he heads straight for a friend. Smiling at the interaction, you donât notice the boy's father trailing behind him, a small backpack in his hands.Â
âMatthew⊠You need to apologize to your teacher. I know you are excited, but still watch where you are going.âÂ
Shaking your head, you start to turn around towards the somewhat familiar voice when the small boy pouts up at you. He is so cute that you canât stop yourself from squatting down to his level to smile at him and adjust his small tie on his uniform.Â
ââM sorry, teacher. I havenât seen Sara all summer. Daddy wouldnât let me stay at her house because Iâm a boy.âÂ
You find yourself nodding along with his words, sympathizing with him until you canât help the small laugh that slips from your lips.Â
âItâs okay, Matthew. There will be plenty of time to play with Sara at school. Cut your daddy some slack, okay?âÂ
Ushering him along, you watch him for a moment longer, half turning towards the boy's father but still not quite looking at him. You have a habit of watching your students more than you do their parents, it would only take a second for a five year old to find trouble.Â
âDonât worry about Matthew. No harm done.âÂ
Seungcheol grins at you as you watch the kids so diligently. He had no idea that you were his sonâs teacher; this was a happy surprise, or perhaps an awkward one. He hadnât really made up his mind yet. It isnât until you finally glance at him and your mouth falls open in confusion that Seungcheol presses his lips together and winces at your reaction.Â
âDidnât know your boyfriend had a kid, huh? Is that a deal breaker?âÂ
You can feel your cheeks burning at Seungcheolâs joke, but your eyes quickly move over him before you give yourself something else to do by reaching for Matthewâs bag. It was better if you kept yourself busy and just did your job. Laughing a bit awkwardly, you meet Seungcheolâs eyes and bite at your lip out of nerves as he lets you take the bag and you move to the small wooden cubbies to find Matthewâs name.Â
âUh⊠I will be honest, I didnât. Iâm sorry again, by the way. Even more so now. I swear to you, Iâm not a complete mess; Iâm a good teacher.âÂ
Shaking his head, Seungcheol finds himself frowning when you seem to find the need to explain yourself and defend your position. He hadnât meant to cause that reaction.Â
âIâno⊠Iâm sure you are. Iâve heard nothing but great things about you leading up to today. I apologize⊠that was rude of me. I was just trying to make a joke. Break the tension.âÂ
Feeling a pang of guilt at your reaction as Seungcheol frowns, you take a deep breath and shake your head. You didnât want him to feel bad. It just wasnât the most ideal situation to find yourself in with a parent. Running your fingers over your hair, you press your lips together and scrunch up your nose, drawing Seungcheolâs attention to it. He smiles, finding the expression on your face cute. You were cute.Â
âNo, no, I know. Iâm sorry. Iâve only been here a couple years and this is my first year without working in someone else's classroom. I just donât wanna mess up.âÂ
Seungcheol nodded, understanding the feelingâperhaps not in the same profession, but he had been there in his own way. Gesturing towards the kids, Matthew in particular, as your eyes once again move over the kids, more of them making their way in, he shrugs as he speaks.Â
âWith how you have been watching them... I donât think we have a single thing to worry about.âÂ
He finds himself wanting to stay, if not just to talk to you but also to Matthew. It was his first day of big boy school, and even if Matthew looked like he was doing just fine with the adjustment, Seungcheol couldnât say the same for himself. One glance at his wrist, seeing how much time he had spent standing in the classroom, however, makes Seungcheol sigh and run his fingers through his brown hair.Â
âI gotta go. I should get out of the way anyway. MatthewâŠâÂ
Hearing his name, the small boy perks up and looks towards his dad with a grin before making his way over. Ruffling his hair, Seungcheol practically pouts, making your heart feel heavy. This part was hard, even for you. You didnât have children of your own, but the sentiment was still there when you watched loving parents leave their children for the day.Â
âI love you. Please be good. Learn somethinâ?âÂ
Giggling, Matthew leans into his dadâs touch and rocks on the balls of his feet as you take a step away to give them a moment to themselves.Â
âLove you too. Iâm so smart, Daddy. Teacher will be suppised!âÂ
Rolling his eyes at how cocky his son sounds, Seungcheol groans under his breath and looks at his watch again.Â
âYeah, alright, it's 'surprisedâ and stay away from Uncle Jeonghan. Learn some humility.âÂ
âI donât know what that means, Daddy.âÂ
Your small laugh draws Seungcheolâs attention and makes him grin as he ushers Matthew towards you.Â
âI bet Miss Y/N knows and she will let me know if youâve put it into practice when I pick you up after school.âÂ
Winking at you, Seungcheol turns to head out the door, glancing over his shoulder to wave at you as he goes. Looking down at the small boy with an expectant look in his eye, you bite at your lip and try to think about how you are going to explain humility and modesty to a five year old on a Monday morning.Â
âThatâs so good!âÂ
You clap as you watch a few of your kids preen with pride after counting to ten. They had been working hard after recess and a snack. It had been a good first day and you were proud of each and every one of them, even if you couldnât help how your eye kept going to Matthew. He was so cuteânot that all the kids in your class werenât; there was just something about his gummy smile that reminded you so much of his dad.Â
Looking up at the clock as the bell rings, you quickly look back at the kids, who mostly look confused until the door opens and parents start to file in.Â
âHey! Everybody⊠I know you want to see your parents, but letâs remember to grab our bags. Cubbies first, please!âÂ
You watch as most of the kids listen to you, moving in small lines to the wooden cubbies to grab their jackets and bags before finding their parents and heading out the door. Bending to pick up a few toys, you furrow your brows when you hear your name. Itâs said by a small, familiar voiceâMatthew, who pouts at you when you finally meet his eyes. He looks around, seeing most of the room clearing out, but his dad is nowhere to be found.Â
âHey, whatâs up? Maybe your daddy is running late. Maybe mommy is coming?âÂ
Shaking his head, Matthew gives you a confused look as he tugs at the bag on his shoulder.Â
âI donât have a mommy. Can you call my daddy?âÂ
Feeling a pang of guilt at mentioning his mother, you squat down to Matthewâs level so he doesnât have to tilt his head back to look up at you anymore. You knew you could call Seungcheol if you needed to, but school had just ended. Maybe you could give him a few more minutes. Reaching for Matthewâs bag, you sigh and offer the boy a smile, watching him match it with that cute gummy grin.Â
âHow about we give him a few more minutes and if he doesnât come, we can call him? You can pick any book you want and Iâll read it to you.âÂ
The idea of choosing any book in the room is enough to make Matthew okay with your terms. Wiggling out of his bag, he goes to the shelf, looking over the book covers as you stand and put his bag on the table with your purse. Checking the clock, your brows furrow with a sigh. It wasnât that late and you were sure this wouldnât be the last child you would be waiting for.Â
Cursing under his breath, Seungcheol looks at his watch as he speed walks through the school halls towards your classroom. He was over 30 minutes late and he was sure you were upset with him. He should have called but he was more concerned with trying to get to the school in one piece.Â
Reaching the door, he starts to speak when he hears your soft voice and for some reason, it makes him stop in his tracks. He sees Matthew sitting in your lap as he rests back against your chest, a book in your hands. You smile as you read the book, trying to come up with a voice for each character, making his son laugh. Seungcheol almost feels bad for interrupting the moment, but then he feels bad again for leaving you here at work with Matthew for so long.Â
âY/NâŠâ
Lifting your head, hearing your name, you smile at Seungcheol, feeling Matthew slip off your lap and run towards the door. You were definitely second best, but that was completely fair. Seungcheol holds the back of Matthewâs head as the boy wraps his arms around his legs and pouts up at him, asking him where heâs been.Â
âI got caught up at work; Iâm so so sorry. It wonât happen again.âÂ
Moving towards the table, you pick up Matthewâs bag as you shake your head.Â
âItâs no problem. It happens. Maybe you could just text me to let me know if you are gonna be late?âÂ
Nodding, Seungcheol lets out a breath, lifting his hand to rub at the back of his neck. You were right.Â
âNo⊠yeah, absolutely. Iâll make it upââÂ
âOh! Hey⊠Seungcheol, right?âÂ
Your smile fades hearing Alexâs voice as you watch Seungcheolâs brows furrow in confusion. Moving quicker towards the door, to hand Seungcheol Matthewâs bag and get his attention, but his eyes move to your ex.Â
âIâyeah⊠I gotta get Matthew home.âÂ
Looking towards you as if asking for an explanation, Seungcheol takes the bag from your hand while ushering his son out the door. You try to let him go, gesturing towards the hall, when Alex scoffs and gives him a once over muttering under his breath.Â
âSeriously, Y/N? A parent...âÂ
Swallowing hard, you feel your chest tighten when Seungcheol stops in his tracks. You wouldnât blame him if he told Alex it was all bullshit right there. It would be smart of you to do it, he wasnât going to let it go either way. Starting to speak, you stop when Seungcheol is quicker, keeping his voice low as he smirks at Alex.Â
âIs there a policy against that, Alex?â Glancing at you, Seungcheol reaches out to grab your hand, squeezing it lightly, winking at you before dropping it. âSee you later, Y/N.âÂ
Your cheeks burn as you watch Seungcheol walk down the hall with Matthew. The young boy glancing back to smile at you curiously before looking up at his dad and saying something you canât make out. Beside you, Alexâs jaw tightens as he watches you keep your eyes on the man leaving. What he wouldnât give for you to look at him like that again.Â
âThere should be a policy against itâŠâÂ
Shooting him a look, you turn towards your classroom, your hand on the doorframe as you speak.Â
"Well, there isnât, Alex, but there is one about harassment. Leave me alone.âÂ
You watch his mouth open and close a couple of times as you close the door in his face, leaving you in peaceful silence to wrap your mind around what had just happened.
Wiping sweat from your brow, you glance around your living room at the boxes that had once been piled up in a corner. It had been difficult to tell if you were moving in or out, but as you broke down, one last box signified that you had officially settled in. It had only taken you months to do it, and for some reason this Saturday felt like the right moment; everything was feeling like home in this apartment for once.Â
Grabbing as many of the boxes as you can, you let out a groan at how many trips you are going to have to take as you make your way to your front door and push it open with your shoulder. Cursing under your breath to the sound of your keys hitting the floor at your feet, you try to lean down without putting down the boxes when a hand brushes over your fingers, taking your keys from you. Before you are able to say anything, your eyes meet Seungcheol's, and your lips pull up into a shy smile.Â
âYour hands seemed full.âÂ
Nodding as you take the keys and slip them into your back pocket, you donât notice Seungcheol glancing into your apartment, seeing the pile of boxes. It isnât until he clears his throat, gesturing inside, that you tilt your head curiously.
âWant me to help with the rest? I think we can get them all down to the bin in one go.âÂ
Your first instinct is to tell him no, that you donât want to bother him, but there is a look in his eye that you donât want to turn him away. So you step out into the hall and smile at Seungcheol instead.Â
âI mean, if you are really offering.âÂ
Laughing, Seungcheol nods and slides past you, glancing around your apartment with a grin before he leans down to pick up the larger pile of boxes, heading back towards you.Â
âItâs not a big deal, Y/N. I was hoping to talk to you today anyway.âÂ
Moving through the hall with Seungcheol at your side, you use your elbow to press the elevator button, your head once again tilting to the side, almost like a puppy hearing a new word as you listen to him speak. He wanted to talk to you. You try to think of the reason, but only one comes to mind. Â
âIs it about Matthew?âÂ
Pursing his lips briefly, Seungcheol quickly smiles at your assumption and nods to cover up any doubt. You werenât wrong in thinking he would want to talk about his son. You were his teacher, it was only fair that he would be the topic of normal conversation.Â
âMmm, he loves school. I think you are the main reason.âÂ
Shaking your head, you step off the elevator and head for the main doors out of the apartment building with Seungcheol in tow. When you stop to lean your boxes against the wall, opening the door for him, Seungcheol smiles at you as he moves through the door, only to stop and hold it open for you with his foot.Â
âThanks, but no... I think itâs his friends. He loves hanging out with Sara.âÂ
Seungcheol lets the door close behind you before trailing along at your side as he shakes his head. He knew how much his son liked his friends, but there was something different about Matthew since he had started school.Â
âItâs more than that. Heâs eager to get there. He can see Sara anytime, and that doesn't have to be at school. He wants to get to Miss Y/Nâs class.âÂ
Feeling your cheeks heat up, your lips pull up into a smile that you are unable to hide even as you look down. It was one thing to be told you were good at your job; it was another to hear that a student wanted to go to school because of your class. It was everything a teacher wanted to hear.Â
Watching Seungcheol push his boxes into the bin, you run your fingers along the underside of one of the boxes still in your hands. You werenât sure if he even understood the gift he had given you while helping you with a mundane task that you had been dreading. Glancing down, you take a deep breath, hoping the butterflies in your stomach will calm down when Seungcheolâs voice brings you back to reality.Â
âHere, let me put these in there too.âÂ
Meeting his eyes, you swallow hard, feeling his fingers glide over yours as Seungcheol takes the boxes from your hands. When you glance away with a small smile on your lips, he takes notice. Pushing the rest of the boxes into the bin, Seungcheol bites at his lip, trying to choose his words carefully, before he turns back to you and scratches at his brow.Â
âAnything else to throw away? Is whatâs his name lingering around? I can toss him in too.âÂ
Feeling your cheeks burn, you scoff into a laugh as Seungcheol moves back to your side. Walking in tandem towards the building, you glance up at him, shaking your head as he laughs, along with you leaning to knock your arm with his to let you know he is joking.Â
âAlex⊠and thankfully he isnât. God, I am so sorry about all of that. I shouldnât have gotten you involved to begin with.âÂ
Shaking his head, Seungcheol purses his lips, watching you take your keys out to tap your fob against the reader, letting him open the door for you.Â
âItâs not a big deal. You seemed really uncomfortable. I was happy to help⊠I mean, I still am. He strikes me as the type to not give up easily.âÂ
Scoffing once again, you follow Seungcheol to the elevator, leaning against the wall as you meet his eyes. That was an understatement. If he was able to tell from just a couple of meetings with your ex, that should say plenty about Alexâs character. You find yourself allowing your eyes to move over Seungcheolâs face, his handsome eyes, and his plump lips before you sigh and look down at your hands as the elevator steadily climbs the floors.Â
âHeâs not. He thinks thatâs a redeeming quality.â Sighing into your words, you push off the wall as the doors open, stepping out into the hall as Seungcheol follows you. âBut heâd be wrong. I couldnât ask you to help me anymore. Youâve done so much.âÂ
Offering Seungcheol a smile, you walk backwards for a moment as he tilts his head, his own smile lifting at one side as his eyes move over you. You were so cute; he knew it was dangerous this game he was playing. He wanted to get close to you and he knew there were better ways, this had just been the one that had been presented to him.Â
âYou didnât ask. Iâm offering⊠Speaking of, you busy this evening?âÂ
Shaking your head, you slide your keys from your pocket as you watch Seungcheol lean against his door. You canât help but notice the way your eyes once again move over him. He was possibly the most handsome man you had ever seen and also the most unattainable. You needed to remember who he was and the boundary that was set, even if it was blurred.Â
âMm, no. Why? Need some help with Matthew?âÂ
Seungcheol sighs into a laugh. It wasnât unfair that youâd assume he wanted to ask you something involving his kid, but he just smiles as you look at him curiously, as if realizing for the first time that Matthew isnât around.Â
âOh⊠no. Heâs with my parents this weekend. I was gonna ask if you wanted to come over for dinner?âÂ
Your brows furrow at Seungcheolâs question. That boundary was getting even more blurred as you considered his question and he seemed to see you struggle before he laughed and bit his lips before speaking up again.Â
âWe can talk about how to pretend to be a good fake couple. You know, for appearances sake. Maybe get Alex to get a life.âÂ
While Seungcheolâs explanation wasnât entirely convincing, you smiled and nodded. In truth, you didnât want to turn down the dinner invitation. You didnât want to tell Seungcheol no and that you didnât want to spend more time with him, even if Matthew wasnât involved. It was a dangerous line you were walking.Â
âGreat! Uh⊠around 6?âÂ
At 5:55 you were considering texting Seungcheol to tell him that you had suddenly come down with the flu. Your anxiety was causing your heart to rise into your throat as you tugged at your shirt, trying to make sure you looked decent.Â
With your hand hovering over the door, you whine to yourself before knocking lightly at Seungcheolâs door and waiting. Maybe he would make it easier on you and just not answer the door, but then the idea of that makes you frown. You hate the idea of not being able to spend the evening with Seungcheol. Even the idea of something disrupting it causes disappointment to bubble in your stomach until the door opens and you are met with his handsome face and a gummy smile that matches your favorite one of Matthewâs.Â
âHey, you lookâuh⊠I mean, you look pretty. Come in.âÂ
Seungcheol stumbles over his words, the flush of his cheeks evident as he shakes his head, trying to keep his head and not overstep with you. He knew where he stood and where he wanted this to go, but you had made yourself pretty clear the first day in your classroom. You were his sonâs teacher and now this situation... It was odd. Seungcheol was just happy to at least have you in his life as a friend, if not more.Â
Swallowing hard, you look down to hide your smile as Seungcheol compliments you. You werenât sure how to react, so instead you pressed your lips together and gestured outward to his apartment.Â
âYour place is so nice.âÂ
Shrugging, Seungcheol leads you towards the open kitchen and living room area where, the dinner, he has been working on bubbles quietly on the stove. You watch him adjust the temperature and stir a sauce as he sighs, tilting his head.Â
âItâs a mess. I should have cleaned up more. I donât usually have company besides a few friends, but they are used to Matthewâs shit laying around. Here, do you like this?âÂ
Holding the wooden spoon out towards you over the bar, Seungcheol watches as you blink at him a couple times before leaning forward to take a bit of the sauce off the spoon. It is savory and delicious as it hits your tongue and the back of your throat. Closing your eyes, you nod and lift your fingers to brush them over your lips as he watches you with a smile on his face at your reaction.Â
âItâs delicious, Seungcheol.âÂ
Turning down the heat even more, Seungcheol moves to the sink to strain another larger pot as you watch him closely. His voice is calm and soothing. Everything about him makes you feel almost instantly comfortable in a space where you thought youâd want to hide under the table without a reason to truly be there.Â
âI donât know if itâs all that great. You are being nice, but this is my go to for dinner. Matthew likes pasta and Iâm halfway decent at it. So I hope you actually like it.âÂ
Licking your lips, you lift your hand to cover your smile as you watch Seungcheol putting the finishing touches on dinner. He moves with ease, his eyes catching yours every once in a while, making your skin erupt in chillbumps as you glance away shyly. You could feel yourself getting too comfortable around him if you were to let your guard down, and that was all your body was telling you to do.Â
âMind to grab a couple of those wine glasses?âÂ
Glancing to your right, you shake your head gently before collecting two of the fragile glasses as Seungcheol moves past you towards the table. You hear your stomach growl as the smell of the pasta and garlic bread greets your nose when you get close enough to set the glasses down. Smiling, Seungcheol sneaks a look in your direction, watching your brows furrow and your lips turn down in embarrassment as he hears the grumble coming from your stomach.Â
âIâsorry. I didnât eat lunch.âÂ
Shaking his head, he picks up the bottle of wine, twisting the opener into the cork as he takes a breath to cover a small laugh. Seungcheol swore he could feel the effects of the alcohol before even taking a sip, with you standing so close to him and with how sweet you were. He knew this was a dangerous arrangement. Not that either of you would be doing anything wrong, but as the moments ticked by, it was getting difficult not to give into lingering glances.Â
âYou have nothing to apologize for. Except perhaps to yourself. You need to eat regularly, Y/N.âÂ
Groaning playfully, you hold the glasses steady, allowing Seungcheol to easily pour wine into each before he moves your chair, letting you sit down first. You can feel your cheeks flush up into your ears. The sound of blood rushing to your head has your hand reaching for your wine, bringing the glass to your lips to take a sip of the liquid courage as Seungcheol lifts your plate, putting pasta on it with an appreciative hum.Â
âThank you. I promise, Iâm usually better about eating... and I always make sure the kids eat their lunch and snacks at school. So donât think my own behavior somehow reflectsââÂ
Moving his hand from the serving fork, Seungcheol slides it over yours, meeting your eyes as you start to ramble. You were spiraling and there was no reason for it.Â
âHey⊠I know you are a good teacher. I donât worry a single moment in the day about Matthewâs wellbeing when I know heâs with you. Donât worry about that.âÂ
Taking a deep breath, you flex your fingers under Seungcheolâs palm, feeling his hands wrap around yours as his brows furrow. You can see the look in his eye and how heâs searching to make sure you understand what heâs told you, so you nod. Even if you didnât completely feel adequate, you needed Seungcheol to let go of your hand before you fainted into his floor or made a run for the door.Â
âMmkay⊠IâmmâŠâ Smiling, trying to compose yourself, you watch Seungcheolâs hand move from yours to his wine, making you feel like you can take a breath. âThe wine is very good. Thank you for inviting me to eat.âÂ
Letting the wine glide over his tongue, Seungcheol smiles against the glass. He had noticed that you were starting to panic, but so was he. It hadnât been his intention, but the alternative was you feeling like you werenât good enough and that just wouldnât work for him. Gesturing towards your plate, Seungcheol clears his throat and tilts his head before picking up his own fork.Â
âThank you for eating with me. Iâm a sad, lonely sap when Matthew is gone on weekends. You saved me from boredom.âÂ
You werenât sure how truthful Seungcheol was being but his words made you feel warm and they made you settle into your chair. They gave you a purpose to be there and not rush. You didnât want him to be lonely. You suddenly realized how quiet it was in the apartment. You were used to that in yours but you could also sometimes hear Seungcheol and Matthew through the walls and they always sounded happy together. Of course, a weekend alone might be lonely for him.Â
Two glasses of wine down and after refusing another helping of pasta, you felt even more relaxed around Seungcheol. He was funny and warm. You understood even more about Matthew after spending time with his dad. They were like a mirror image of one another and as much as you adored Matthew, you could see yourself feeling that way about Seungcheol as the night carried on.Â
Soon you found yourself on his couch, another glass of wine in your hand as you pulled your legs up under you. Seungcheol grinned at you as you told him about going through your first year of assistant teaching. He could tell that you had a passion for your career and it was just one of the many things he was starting to love about you. This was becoming one of the easiest and equally difficult evenings of his night. While he loved talking to you and being close to you, he couldnât help as his eyes moved over your pretty face and along your neck as he pictured getting closer to you and seeing if youâd let him touch you. Instead, he kept his respectful distance and admired you.Â
Watching Seungcheol stand up to grab another bottle of wine, you tilt your head, letting your eyes move along his fit frame. You werenât blind. You were a woman, you had needs, and god, if your body wasnât screaming at you that you were an idiot for not trying to get closer to the man who had been smiling at you for the past few hours. You were simultaneously enraptured by him and terrified of him. You could see yourself falling for him and it would be hard and messy. It couldnât end well, because the first person you saw in your mind was Matthew.Â
Looking back around the room to pull your mind back to the present, despite the euphoric cloud of alcohol, you smile seeing the pictures of the boy on the wall. There were so many, from the time he was an infant to now. You could see pictures of Seungcheol and Matthew with others as well. A woman who you assumed was Matthewâs mother and some men who looked to be around Seungcheolâs age, perhaps brothers. A wave of longing hits you and you rest your head on your arm, a frown on your face as you keep looking around, finally noticing the degrees on the furthest wall.Â
Narrowing your eyes, you struggle to make out the words, finally sitting up and leaning forward to read as Seungcheol moves back to the couch with a sigh. Reaching for your glass, the man says something you donât pay attention to as he tries to hand you the glass.Â
âY/N? Is white wine okay?âÂ
Blinking a couple of times, you meet Seungcheolâs eyes and look at the glass in his hand with a clueless look on your face. A smile spreads over his face. He tilts his head and lets you take the glass from him as you gesture towards the wall with your other hand.Â
âYouâwait⊠Youâre a doctor?âÂ
You werenât sure what you had assumed Seungcheol did for a living, but a doctor hadnât been on your bingo card. Looking around the room as you feel reality setting in, you can see that things make a bit more sense. The furniture was really nice. The wine was delicious and tasted expensive. Seungcheol, even in lounge wear, looked expensive.Â
Shrugging, Seungcheol purses his lips as he takes a sip of the wine from the glass in his hand as he looks at his medical degree on the wall. He hadnât really considered that you didnât know or that it would matter. Meeting your eyes once again, he sighs and leans back against the back of the couch, getting comfortable.Â
âMmhm, family medicine. I have a small private practice in the city and a couple days a week I work out of the hospital in the emergency room. Are you that surprised? Do I not look smart enough to be a doctor or something?âÂ
Sitting up, you shake your head so fast Seungcheol is afraid you might get whiplash. Reaching forward as he laughs, he runs his fingers over your arm as you lift your glass to your lips, finally taking another sip to calm your nerves before explaining your apparent shock.Â
âNoâŠNoâof course you are smart. You just donât look like a doctor. I didnât expect you to be... you know.âÂ
When you donât elaborate, Seungcheol laughs as he leans to put his glass on a coaster on the end table. You take another larger sip of your wine as your eyes fall to the fingers of his other hand as they rest against your forearm and the couch. It isnât lost on you, no matter how tipsy you might be or how much you enjoy his fingers on your skin.Â
âI donât know. Tell me. You can tell me anything.âÂ
That was a very dangerous thing to say to you and Seungcheol seemed to know it as he watched you snort into a laugh. Giving you the smile that you had grown to love so much, he bites at his lip and leans forward slightly, listening to the laugh fade as your eyes focus on him.Â
âSeriously, tell me what you mean.âÂ
There was a lump in your throat and wine wasnât going to get it to go down. You werenât sure anything could. No matter how much you swallowed or cleared your throat, it was only when you glanced down at your wine that you were able to feel the pressure subside enough that you could talk.Â
âIâyou know what I mean, Seungcheol. The whole package, I guess.âÂ
Shaking his head again, Seungcheol sighs out a laugh, wishing he could just get you to say what you mean instead of this game where you beat around the bush.Â
âPackage? Like from Amazon? What are we talking about here, Y/N? Help me out.âÂ
He was frustrating in the most adorably clueless and teasing way. You had a feeling he knew what you were hinting at, even if he was trying to play dumb; he was a doctor after all. You had already insulted his intelligence once. Glancing up long enough to meet Seungcheolâs eyes, you take a deep breath and let it out with a sigh that sounds more like a laugh as you speak.Â
âYouâre incredibly attractive, a doctor, obviously successful, and a good dad. The whole package. I donât think you can order that on Amazon.âÂ
Seungcheol bites at his lip after hearing you explain your words. It was better than he had anticipated. He felt bad for making you say it, he knew it had to be somewhat embarrassing, but he had to hear it. He might never hear it again, because at the end of the day, this wasnât a real relationship.Â
âMm, well, thatâs good for your boyfriend to know.â
Opening your mouth, you look confused but Seungcheol grins and picks up his wine, letting you off the hook as he takes a sip and continues.Â
âYou know, fake boyfriend.âÂ
A small, confused laugh slips from between your lips as you nod, trying to act like it is easy to understand and it all makes sense. You try to pretend like this is going to be easy and that him âhelpingâ you keep up this ruse is a good idea, but who was it actually helping?Â
âRight, my fake boyfriend. My fake doctor boyfriend.âÂ
Smirking, Seungcheol rolls his eyes and watches you finish off your glass of wine. He hated the word fake. Was it horrible of him to hope for a time when he could remove the word fake from his and your vocabulary? Yes, he knew it was. So he just takes a deep breath and points at your wine glass.Â
âMore wine, fake girlfriend?âÂ
Your laugh is so pretty, it almost breaks Seungcheolâs heart. He watches your head tilt back and his eyes move along your neck and back up to your face as you sigh. Itâs when you glance at the clock on the wall and pout that he matches the pout, knowing what you are going to say.Â
âItâs so late. I should go home.âÂ
Two in the morning. That was much later than you had intended on staying, but the look on Seungcheolâs face made you almost reluctant to get up. You were tired, the wine was doing a great job at aiding that fact, but it didnât lessen that pout on his handsome face. You watch as he nods, a soft sigh escaping between his lips before he takes your empty glass and stands up.Â
âThank you again for coming over. I really did enjoy it. Maybe we can do this again sometime.âÂ
Your eyes follow Seungcheol into the kitchen as he puts the wine glasses into the sink. When he glances over his shoulder at you, giving you a hopeful look you canât disappoint him even if your brain is screaming about how much this is going to hurt you.Â
âAbsolutely.âÂ
âThatâs all you did?âÂ
Groaning at Jeonghanâs tone in his question, Seungcheol pushes a plate of leftover pasta across the kitchen island towards him and Jihoon. Lifting his hands, he gives his best friend an incredulous look before stabbing at his own food with a pout on his face.Â
âWhat did you expect him to do, Jeonghan? Jump her the first chance he gets.âÂ
Jihoon rolls his eyes as he shoves a fork full of pasta into his mouth, talking between bites. Out of the two men, in his own opinion, he had the most level head in this situation. He understood why Seungcheol had let you go home and why he hadnât made a move. Jeonghan, on the other hand, stared at his friend as if he had two heads and was growing another.Â
âI expect him to grow some fucking balls. You deserve some happiness, Cheol. You have this hot little teacher next door that you wonât shut up about; she comes over, and thatâsâthatâs it!âÂ
Jeonghan made it seem like he had committed a crime by respecting you and your position as his teacher. Not that the two of you had exclusively said you didnât want to actually explore things, but it was an unspoken thing. Seungcheol wasnât an idiot. He didnât get through medical school on a wish and a prayer.Â
âIâm helping her with her stupid douche of an ex. It would be wrong of me to actually make a move. Plus, it would be weird for Matthew.âÂ
Finally swallowing a bite of his food, Jeonghan scoffs around the pasta at Seungcheolâs half ass attempt at an excuse. In his mind, it didnât make any sense and he was grasping at straws. He had seen his best friend fall for someone before and he didnât want to see him lose that chance because he was scared.Â
âBullshit, it would be weird for Matthew. He already talks about Miss Y/N all the damn time. He likes her more than he likes me at this point. Itâs offensiveâŠâÂ
Chuckling, Jihoon gets a harsh side eye from Jeonghan that he matches with one of his own.Â
âI think itâs hilarious and I think that you need to stop riding Cheolâs ass. If he wants to ask her out, heâll do it. If notââÂ
âHeâll die alone and pouting.âÂ
Dropping his fork into his plate, Seungcheol lifts his hand to push at his temples as his friends continue to talk about him as if he isnât even in the room. Both of them had good points and as much as he didnât want to admit it, Jeonghan had some of the better ones. He knew he was being a wimp when it came to you, but he wasnât ready to bet and lose.Â
Noticing that Seungcheol had gone quiet, Jeonghan turned his attention back to him, letting out a sigh as Jihoon did the same. Neither of them liked the look on his face. They had been friends with him for over a decade and been through a majority of the highs and the lows. They had been there for the best of his life so far and the day that he thought his own had ended because hers had.Â
Rubbing his thumb into his palm as he thinks about what to say next, Jihoon furrows his brows deeply. For a moment, he looks annoyed, but thatâs because he is. Heâs annoyed that heâs going to agree with Yoon Jeonghan for the first time in a long time. Sighing in a groan, the man leans forward and taps his fingers on the island as he tries to make his point.Â
âListen, Iâm not saying I completely agree with Jeonghanââ
âBut clearly, he agreesââÂ
Shooting a look at the man, Jihoon watches a smirk pull up at Jeonghanâs lips as he stops talking, letting him continue.Â
âBut... even I can admit that something is going on in your head, Cheol. Iâm not going to push you as hard as him, but donât let it slip through your fingers because of the unknown.âÂ
That was what terrified him. The unknown. You could reject him completely. He could look like a fool. You could accept him and fall in love with him. Then he might lose you. There was so much unknown. The unknown had ruined his life before and only the people closest to him and his son had kept him from drowning.Â
âWhat if it doesnât work out?âÂ
Nodding, Jeonghan lifts his hands off the island and takes a deep breath, letting it out as he meets Seungcheolâs eyes to answer his question.Â
âAnd what if it does?âÂ
Forcing a smile on your face after a long day, you stand up as the bell rings and parents start to move into the room to collect their children. Taking your time, you note each one, telling them to have a good evening and that you will see them in the morning.Â
It wasnât that you hadnât enjoyed your day, but you could feel a headache behind your eyes and fifteen screaming five year olds was a lot for anyone. So as the numbers started to dwindle, you could feel the anxiety starting to fade from you.Â
âHey, buddy!âÂ
Glancing up as Matthew squeals happily, you watch him run towards a slender but fit man that you vaguely recognize. Perhaps he had been on Seungcheolâs walls in one of the pictures, but you didnât have a name to putâ
âUncle Jeonghan!â
Ah, so this was Uncle Jeonghan that Matthew talked about so much. Picking up your clipboard, you furrow your brows, moving over to him and the man as you quickly make sure the manâs name is listed as someone authorized to pick up.Â
âHave a good day? This must be Miss Y/N that your daddy talks about all the time.âÂ
Lifting your head from the clipboard, you meet the manâs eyes as your cheeks start to burn. Opening your mouth, you close it quickly as he smirks at you and ruffles the boy's head as he clings close to him.Â
âIâYoon Jeonghan? If you could just sign for Matthew, since you're not his legal guardian and only listed as an authorized person, itâs policy.âÂ
Taking the clipboard from you, Jeonghan grins as you seem to shy away at his words. He could see the appeal. You were beautiful and seemed responsible. You were exactly Seungcheolâs type.Â
âNo problem; Y/N. Cheol had to work in the ER today so here I am to save the day. I honestly donât know why he didnât just ask you to bring him home.âÂ
Scoffing in surprise, you watch as Matthew gasps and looks up at you like a new toy.Â
âThatâd be so cool! Miss Y/N, can you one day? I can show you my toys.âÂ
Not wanting to disappoint the boy, you give him a strained smile and meet Jeonghanâs eyes, realizing he was an enabler. Seungcheol should have warned you about him, but maybe he didnât even realize how your first meeting with him would go.Â
âMaybe⊠Iâm your teacher, Matthew. We play at schoolââÂ
âWell and his neighbor and his daddyâs girlââÂ
Shaking your head, you watch as Jeonghan bites his lip to stifle a laugh before nodding and holding up his free hand as a way of surrendering. Apparently Seungcheol had shared some details of your ârelationshipâ with his friend. You wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out, but you had a feeling this man was the type to pull you out and back into the spotlight.Â
âMaybe one day, Matthew... but letâs not get our hopes up.âÂ
Pouting up at you, Matthew just nods and moves away from you both to go get his things. Letting out a breath, you take back your clipboard and put it down on a shelf behind you as you and Jeonghan glance towards the small boy as he pulls on his jacket.Â
âHeâd let you take him home.âÂ
Furrowing your brows, you glance over at Jeonghan and shift on your feet at his words and the implication behind them. Noticing how you seem to nervously shift from foot to foot, Jeonghan smirks and glances down at his phone in his hand, answering a text from Seungcheol as he speaks to you.Â
âOne day heâll man up and ask you out for real. This fake dating shitââÂ
âDonât curse in my classroom, please.âÂ
A laugh slips from between his lips as he glances up from his phone to offer you an apologetic smile before nodding and continuing.Â
âSure, sorry. As I was saying, this fake dating nonsense you two have going on right now isn't going to work. I can already tell you like him.âÂ
Insufferable. That's how youâd describe Yoon Jeonghan. You had known him for less than ten minutes and already you knew he was going to be an issue in your life. Crossing your arms, you start to sigh into your words, a dramatic big breath, when Alexâs voice once again ruins your moment.Â
âMatt, buddy, let me help.âÂ
Jeonghan watches as your head moves like prey sensing a predator towards the other teacher, who was now helping Matthew with his bag. His eyes move to his godsonâs face as he grimaces as the man tugs on the straps, keeping them tight on his arms.Â
âHeâs fine, Mr. Alex. Thank you.âÂ
You still sounded like yourself, with that sweet tone to your voice, but even Jeonghan could hear the hint of malice behind it. So this was Alex, and now Alex thought it was okay to mess with Seungcheolâs son. The âfakeâ dating made sense. This man did not understand boundaries and used everything in front of him as an open door.Â
Stepping in front of Alex, you smile at Matthew and the smile transfers to the boyâs face. Jeonghan feels relief wash over him at the sight as you kneel down, adjust the straps back to where they were and then tie his shoe properly.Â
âI was just helping out a student, Miss Y/N.âÂ
Oof⊠There was so much tension in this room that even Jeonghan felt like he was going to drown in it. Stepping forward, he clears his throat and offers his hand towards Matthew, letting him take his fingers.Â
âAnd while Iâm sure she appreciates that, and the parents do... I donât know you, Mr. Alex, was it? From where I was standing, some strange man was touching my godson, which honestly made me nervous for a moment. Iâd be more careful; this isnât your classroom.âÂ
Standing up, you feel your cheeks burn under Alexâs eyes as he looks to you to defend him, but you donât. Jeonghan had a point. Not every parent or guardian knew who all the teachers were, not even the students knew the other teachers. Simple acts could be misunderstood and while he was doing something to âbe niceâ and it was innocent, you knew there was another reason he was inserting himself into your and Matthewâs lives.Â
âWell, I do apologize for the misunderstanding. My classroom is right down the hall. I was just coming to see Miss Y/N. We are very close.âÂ
Jeonghan just smirks at the man and shoots you a glance before looking at his phone and seeing a reply from Seungcheol.Â
âIâm sure you are.â Dismissing the man, he looks at you and smiles brightly. âY/N, dear⊠Cheol asked me if you wouldnât mind helping me with Matthew once you get home? Iâm an awful cook.âÂ
Opening his mouth to say something, Alex stops when Matthew squeals with delight and grabs at your shirt, begging you to come over.Â
Another point to you and Seungcheol.Â
Staring at Seungcheolâs apartment door, you listen to the sound of Matthewâs laughter. While you knew why you had agreed to Jeonghanâs ridiculous plan, you werenât sure why you were attempting to follow through with it. You could so easily just text Seungcheol and tell him that your evening got far too busy, and you wouldnât be able to help Jeonghan out with Matthew, but suddenly it felt important to you.Â
Jeonghan had been doing a good job, for the most part, at keeping Matthew distracted from asking when you were going to come over, but every few minutes the question kept coming up. He knew there was a slight chance you might bail on them, but he had a good feeling you wouldnât, so he simply told Matthew, âsheâll be here soon,â each time he asked. So when you knocked on the door, a little after 6:30, Matthew squealed in delight and beat Jeonghan to it by a mile.Â
âMiss Y/N! Iâm so excited. I have coloring pages and my trucks to show you. Can we paint?âÂ
Shaking your head, you run your fingers over Matthewâs head with a sigh as you listen to Jeonghan chuckle under his breath a few feet away. It was clear to see that the little boy had you wrapped around his little finger. You werenât supposed to have a favorite student, and maybe that wasnât even what was happening here, but you adored Matthew. Him and his gummy smile.Â
âMaybe? Iâm supposed to help with dinner. What did your Uncle Jeonghan have in mind?âÂ
Giving you a once over in your more casual clothes, Jeonghan nods in approval before gesturing towards the kitchen as if you didnât already know where it was.Â
âLuckily for me, Cheol is a great father. He left a note that says, 'stuff for pizza in the fridgeâ, so it looks like itâs pizza, Teach.âÂ
Rolling your eyes, you let Matthew hold on to your waist as you make your way into the kitchen and glance at the note in question.Â
âAnd you canât make pizza on your own?âÂ
âUncle Jeonghan burneded my chicken nuggets last week. Can you make me pizza, Miss Y/N?âÂ
Letting out a breath, you meet Matthewâs eyes before looking back up at Jeonghan, who grimaces at the mention of the chicken nuggets. Maybe it was a good thing that you were here if this man couldnât even be trusted with the most simple of foods.Â
It didnât take long for the three of you to get into a comfortable rhythm. You quickly took over things in the kitchen, leaving Jeonghan to entertain Matthew, which in turn kept him from being under your feet. It wasnât until you were putting the homemade pizza into the oven that the evening started to calm down and you were able to really look around you and feel your heart tightening. You wanted this. Not with Jeonghan, though he was starting to grow on you as a friend, but you wanted to be around Matthew more and to help with him.Â
Feeling your cell phone vibrate in your back pocket, you wipe your hands off on a dish towel and slip it from your pocket only for a smile to pull at the corner of your lips.Â
Seungcheol: I owe you big timeÂ
Glancing towards the living room, you press your lips together watching Matthew and Jeonghan sitting at the coffee table with crayons covering most of the surface. Now that feeling of wanting this more often was even stronger as you thought about Seungcheol, wishing he was here⊠even though that felt wrong on some level. You shouldnât want something with a parent of one of your students⊠there had to be something wrong about that, or at least Alex was good at making you feel like there was.Â
Y/N: Donât say that yet. Pizza isnât out of the oven yet. I might burn it just as bad as Jeonghan.
Grinning as he leans against the wall of the break room, Seungcheol allows himself a moment to just enjoy the idea of you in his apartment. He knew he would be there in a few more hours, but picturing you with Matthew seemed so domestic. Jeonghan was right, as much as Seungcheol hated to admit it⊠he wanted more with you than some fake relationship.Â
âWhat are you smiling at like that? Itâs creepyâŠâÂ
Scoffing at Joshua Hongâs teasing words, Seungcheol quickly replies to you before clearing his throat and sliding his phone back into his coat pocket. He had never been good at âacting casual,â and most of his friends knew that, so this time was no different.Â
âNothing, why are you? You know, being nosy? Donât you have a patient in Five?âÂ
Joshua smirks as he watches Seungcheol scratch his neck. He could see that his friend was nervous and that, paired with the stupid, love-sick smile he had been wearing, could only mean one thing.Â
âI just discharged that patient. Are you simping that hard over some girl? Choi Seungcheol, are you fucking someonââÂ
Lifting his hands, Seungcheol is quick to let out a panicked sound in order to stop Joshua from continuing. It was bad enough that he had to deal with Jeonghan on almost a daily basis. Dealing with both Jeonghan and Joshua, now that was a nightmare.Â
âShut up. Iâno. No, Iâm not fuckâIâm not sleeping with anyone. You spend too much time with Jeonghan if you are talking like that.âÂ
Joshua had never known Seungcheol to be so proper and flustered before, and honestly, it was pretty amusing to see him sweat over something as simple as a girl.Â
âHannie and I enjoy our quality time; thank you very much. Get the stick out of your ass and tell me whatâs going on, or Iâll just have to ask him. Iâm sure he knows.âÂ
The idea of Jeonghan being able to explain his love life, or the lack thereof, to anyone but especially to Joshua was a terrifying and humiliating thought. Shaking his head, Seungcheol groans and reaches for Joshuaâs arm, stopping him from leaving the break room as he glances towards the clock to see how much time he has left on his break before he explains from the beginning.Â
Seungcheol: Well burnt or not, canât wait to get home and have a slice. See you in about an hour?
You had stared at your phone and Seungcheolâs text for a bit longer than you had meant to. When Jeonghan pursed his lips and glanced over your shoulder to see what had your attention so enraptured, you gasped, pulling the phone to your chest.Â
âSorry, I said your name a couple times, but you were staring at your phone like it was a bomb. I had to make sure you didnât need help with it.âÂ
Furrowing your brows, you clear your throat and put your phone face down on the counter, turning towards the oven and leaning to glance at the pizza through the window. You were avoiding the topic, but Jeonghan wasnât the one to just give up.Â
âYou set a timer, didnât you? Should come out right in time for us to eat. You know, Matthew, me, you, and Cheol.âÂ
Glancing over your shoulder, you narrow your eyes at Jeonghan and straighten to your full height so that you feel a bit less small in front of him.Â
âI wasnât going to stay for dinner.âÂ
Tilting his head, Jeonghan starts to speak when Matthew whines and the sound of his little feet hitting the wood floor draws your attention. You get ready to explain to him that you need to go, that you have so much you have to do before bedtime, but one look down at him and the pout on his face... all excuses die on your tongue.Â
âPlease donât go! Eat pizza with me. You said maybe to playing with trucks.âÂ
You watch as tears start to gather in Matthewâs eyes and it almost breaks your heart. Even Jeonghan feels a pang of guilt knowing he had pushed a little too hard, and he finds himself hoping youâll stay as he looks at Matthew, his small shoulders lifting to take a breath, trying to keep himself from crying.Â
Squatting in front of Matthew, you run your fingers over his cheeks and offer him a smile, happy to see his lips pull up even slightly in return. It was easier to say no at school. You knew you had authority and there was more to say no to. Children would get into trouble more often if you gave in, but here, what would you lose if you said yes? What harm could it really cause?Â
âIâIâll stay for dinner. I made really good pizza. I would hate to miss out on it or your trucks.âÂ
Wrapping his arms around your neck, Matthew grins as he giggles. He had known a lot of sadness in his short life, but his father and those around him had worked hard to show him even more joy. This was more joy. There was something special about you, and it wasnât just that you were his teacher or that he liked you so much; it was more that you felt so warm and made him wonder what his mommy would have been like. Not that he would tell you that, at least not tonight.Â
Patting Matthewâs back, you glance up at Jeonghan as he purses his lips, the look on his face a mixture of apologetic and appreciative. It takes a moment before you are finally able to pull away from the boy and meet his eyes, seeing a bit of wetness on his cheeks, but that big smile on his face remains even as you wipe the tears away.Â
âThe pizza has to cook for a bit longer. Wanna show me what you and Uncle Jeonghan were working on?âÂ
Letting out a deep breath as he walks through the door, Seungcheol finds the stress of his day quickly replaced by fondness. He knew you had decided to stay for dinner, but seeing you in his living room with Matthew for himself was a different story. Now he couldnât help the smile that played on his lips even as Jeonghan watched him carefully, studying him for what seemed like a full minute before Seungcheol finally moved further into the house.Â
âThought you were going to stand in the hall all damn night.âÂ
Scoffing at Jeonghanâs words, Seungcheol shakes his head before meeting your eyes trying not to lose himself in your soft smile. You are so beautiful and it was becoming impossible for him to pretend like he didnât like you, and that he didnât want to see what this could be without some silly stipulations to your relationship.Â
âHowâs the evening been so far? Donât I get a hug?âÂ
While his words were meant for Matthew, you still pressed your lips together feeling a slight urge to stand up and move into Seungcheolâs arms too. He looked incredible, even as tired as he was. You were having a hard time not staring at him, and Jeonghan was taking notes.Â
âI think the uhâthe pizza is cool enough to eat. So you have good timing.âÂ
Nodding to your words, Seungcheol squats down to hug Matthew. You watch fondly as he rocks the small boy back and forth a few times, causing him to let out a delighted sound before Seungcheol stands and runs his fingers through his hair.Â
âAwesome, thank you again for helping, Y/N. Iâll⊠uh get changed and meet you guys at the table.âÂ
Swallowing hard, you nod as your eyes follow Seungcheol through the room until he is out of your line of sight. A small chuckle to your right pulls your attention back to the present and to Jeonghan, who simply lifts his brows and pats Matthewâs back, ushering him towards the dining room.Â
âPizza time, buddy. Too much ogling is going on in this room for my stomach to handle.â
Looking up at Jeonghan, Matthew tilts his head as he walks beside him, a look of confusion on his cute face.Â
âWhatâs ohgling?âÂ
With a groan, you drop your head into your hands for a split second before moving to your feet and following along with the two just in time to hear Jeonghan explain how to say the word properly and that it means to look at someone for a long time because you like them. At least he had kept it PG.
âCan Miss Y/N tuck me in tonight?â
Matthewâs words make you stop what you are doing mid-bite. Jeonghanâs smirk only grows as Seungcheol tilts his head, looking at his son and over to you as you give both of them a deer stuck in headlights look. The evening had gotten exponentially more interesting since Seungcheol had gotten home. You two werenât fooling anyone, at least as far as Jeonghan was concerned, and this was the cherry on top.Â
âIâwell⊠Thatâs up to Miss Y/N.âÂ
Meeting your eyes, Seungcheol looks a bit worried that you might say no. He wouldnât fault you if you did, but he hated the idea of his son being disappointed. You could see the look and it was so very similar to the look in Matthewâs eye that your stomach was in your throat. Why were these two so impossible for you to refuse?Â
âI donât mind.âÂ
Clapping his hands together, Jeonghan gives you both a wide smile before pushing his chair back from the table and wiping at his lips.Â
âGreat, now thatâs settled, means I can get headed home. Thank you for the lovely dinner, Y/N. Please invite me again.âÂ
Following Jeonghan, Seungcheol gives you an apologetic look as you start to speak but canât seem to find the right words to defend yourself. While you had grown used to his teasing over the past few hours, it didnât make it any easier to handle in front of Seungcheol and Matthew. You could feel heat rising in your neck and face as you turned your attention back towards Matthew as he grabbed your hand and tried to tug you out of your seat.Â
âCome on! I gotta show you my room and my trucks. Daddy says they are the most coolest.âÂ
You were lucky to have such a sweet distraction, just two of your fingers in his small hand as Matthew led you down the hall and away from the embarrassment of Yoon Jeonghanâs words. After watching you and Matthew for a moment, Seungcheol then glances back at his best friend as he slips his shoes on and offers him a triumphant smile. In his mind, clearly, he had managed to play matchmaker well if you were staying longer than he was. He could almost hear the wedding bells in the back of his mind, but the look on Seungcheolâs face was one of doubt, which always leads to delays.Â
âYouâre welcome. Get that stupid look off your face and seal the deal.âÂ
Scoffing, Seungcheol double checks that you canât hear either of them before he meets Jeonghanâs eyes once more.Â
âWould you shut the hell up? Iâwe donât know whatâs going to happen. She was doing me a favor because you trapped her in a momentââÂ
âNo, she came over because she wanted to. She could have canceled and she could have left hours ago, Cheol. She wants to be here and she wants to be here with you. You werenât here to see her schoolgirl crush smiling at her phone every time you sent a message.âÂ
Pressing his lips together while learning about the couple of hours before he had gotten home, Seungcheol couldn't stop how the corners of his lips started to turn up. He wanted to see that smile. He loved your smile. He loved how you made Matthew smile. God, he was falling for you and it was that hard sort of falling that people warned you about.Â
âReally?âÂ
Shaking his head, Jeonghan reaches over to pat Seungcheolâs bicep as he rolls his eyes at his friendâs reaction. You were the school girl and here was your school boy. It was a match made in heaven, and it was nauseating to be around.Â
âReally, Casanova. Donât let her slip through your fingers because youâre a pussy.âÂ
Seungcheol groans, his smile falling at Jeonghanâs wording. Why did he have to be so crass? No, he wasnât some church going perfect angel himself, but at least he didnât go around calling people a pussy.Â
âGet out, seriously. If Matthew starts saying shit like that, Iâm personally making you pay for his therapy sessions.âÂ
Getting one last cheeky grin from Jeonghan, Seungcheol closes the door and makes his way back towards your soft voice. It was getting late and being a school night, it was around the time he would normally get Matthew ready for bed. He almost hated the idea of that tonight. He knew that Matthew wanted you to tuck him in, but what would that mean afterwards? Would you have leave right way? Could he talk you into staying for a glass of wine? It was a school night for you tooâŠ
âNo, that truck was my favorite too. Get your teeth in the back too.âÂ
Surprised to hear you and Matthew in the bathroom, Seungcheol tilts his head and leans against the wall, watching you smile at his son. It was surreal to see something like this. He had always wanted this for Matthewâand, if he could be selfish, for himself.Â
This wasnât something he had gotten much of from his wife before her accident. She didnât get to help him put Matthew to bed once he was old enough to remember her. While Seungcheol would always regret that, he found himself allowing himself a bit of time to relish Matthewâs little piece of normality with you.Â
âGood! Big smile.âÂ
You laugh, your heart full and warm, as Matthew shows you his clean teeth. This was dangerous. You were so in love with this family. You could see yourself doing this every single night and never getting tired of it. There was something about Matthew and Seungcheol that made your life feel complete and that was terrifying in ways that you couldnât even explain to yourself.Â
âOne of my favorite smiles. Time to change? Then I can come tuck you in.âÂ
Turning to follow Matthew, you stop short, seeing Seungcheol watching you from the hall. You get hit with a sudden rush of anxiety, wondering if you have overstepped, but the smile and look on his face tell you that you havenât. You watch his fingers glide through Matthewâs hair before he glances back at him, telling him not to bring trucks into his bed, before he looks at you and takes your breath away with a smile.Â
âYouâre a natural.âÂ
Shyly, you shake your head and move towards him and Matthewâs bedroom, stopping just outside to give the boy time to change.Â
âJust teacher things, I guess.âÂ
Seungcheol shakes his head and fights his urge to reach out and pull you towards him. You were standing too far away from him and with how he was feeling, all he wanted to do was pull you into his arms and do exactly what Jeonghan had told him to do. Why was he dancing around this? You were everything he had been wanting and not even the fear of the unknown was enough to keep him from taking that leap.Â
Starting to speak, Seungcheol watches you take a deep breath when Matthewâs small voice makes him stop before he even gets started. You instead watch as he smiles and rubs the back of his neck, gesturing for you to go ahead. Biting at your lip, you nod and give him a small glance as you pass by, only for your breath to get caught in your throat when Seungcheolâs fingers trail over your fingers just before you cross over the threshold into the bedroom.Â
âGo ahead; Iâll say goodnight once heâs tucked in. Something tells me he might get upset if I try to interrupt.âÂ
One last look towards Seungcheol, and you move into Matthewâs room and sit on the side of his bed as he grins up at you. Your stomach was doing flips as butterflies held a rave inside of you, but with a deep breath, you managed to keep your cool and tuck the covers around Matthew.Â
âHowâs that? Too tight?âÂ
Shaking his head, Matthew wiggles under the covers to show you that he can still move easily as you run your fingers over the top of his head, feeling his eyes move over your face.Â
âOkay, good. Sleep well and Iâll see you at school in the morning.âÂ
âMmkay, Miss Y/N.âÂ
You smile at his tired words, starting to stand when Matthew whines and you stay right where you are, giving him a concerned look at the sudden change.Â
âCan I have a hug for bedtime?âÂ
You knew you would say no. Sure, it would make Matthew sad and, in turn, make you sad, but maybe it wouldnât hurt as much as what you chose to do. Instead of saying no, you nodded and leaned down to let him wrap his arms around your neck and hold you close to him as he whispered his thanks for the day and told you goodnight. You could feel the tears rising in your eyes even as you willed them to stay back.Â
âItâs my pleasure, Matthew. Thaâthank you for hanging out with me. Sleep tightâŠâÂ
Seungcheol had to take a deep breath while watching his son cling to you like a safety net. It almost broke his heart to watch you sit up, but then you ran your fingers over Matthewâs face and whispered goodnight and Seungcheol could have sworn he saw tears in your eyes. Was that a good sign or a bad one?Â
Sliding past Seungcheol, you sniff softly but smile at him as you let him move into the room. You find yourself wanting to watch as he finishes up the bedtime routine, but your heart wonât let you. The tears on your cheeks tell you that you need to run out of this apartment as fast as you can, but you wait, feeling the need to say your goodbyes to Seungcheol.Â
The soft click of the door shutting draws your attention back towards Matthewâs room and Seungcheol as you wipe your cheeks quickly and put your smile back on your face. You didnât hate what you were feeling; it just terrified you to no end. You had never pictured a family with Alex; no matter how many times he had brought up what a fantastic mother you were going to be to his children, it wasnât something that you could see. Looking at Seungcheol, you could picture that future and you werenât even in a real relationship with him. What did that say about you?
âHey, thanks for doing that. Heâs already out like a light. I never get him down that easy.â
You only manage to hum into a small smile at Seungcheolâs words as he moves closer to you, his presence making it harder for you to choose if you want to stay or run.Â
âItâs no biggie. Heâs a great kid.âÂ
Nodding, Seungcheol opens and closes his hand a few times before taking the leap and reaching out to wrap his fingers around yours, feeling your hand shake in his. Maybe you were just as nervous as he was? Maybe you could already see where this was going? Maybe, just maybe, you wanted it too.Â
âHe is⊠But, um, could I say something? Not about Matthew and you hear me out?âÂ
Those butterflies had taken something strong at their rave and you felt like you were going to be sick with nerves. Your head was woozy even as you nodded to answer Seungcheol, unable to find the right words. Swallowing hard, he sighs into a small laugh before reaching up to scratch at his brow with his free hand, keeping yours in his other.Â
âIâokay, Iâm just gonna say it, alright? I love having you around. I really like this, you know? Us. So I was thinkinâ if you arenât busy, maybe we could get dinner this weekend? Just the two of us?âÂ
Letting out a breath, you pull your fingers back and smile at Seungcheol, trying to think straight, but nothing in your head makes sense. You were panicking. The look on Seungcheolâs face told you that he could see you were panicking as you took a step back from him and literally looked for your escape route.Â
âIt is so late. I have work in the morning, but you know that. Thank you so much for dinner. I mean, you know what I mean.â
Following you, Seungcheol runs his fingers through his hair, feeling panic start to roll through him as you pretend that he hadnât just confessed to you and asked you out. Was he that bad of a choice? Or was this about something else? Were you afraid too?
âY/N? What? Wait, no, I know you have work. Shit⊠wait. I didnât mean toââÂ
Turning to face him as you reach the door, you canât stop the tears that run down your cheeks. The same tears seem to resonate with Seungcheol and stop him from giving you his reasoning. All he finds himself wanting to do is hold you and make it better, but that fear of pushing you away is stronger than ever as you wipe at your cheeks and apologize under your breath, pulling your shoes on.Â
âI will talk to you later, okay? Just⊠I canât do this right now.âÂ
Seungcheol knew he should say something else, do something to stop you from leaving until more was said and understood, but all he could do was watch as his door shut and leave him in silence. His heart beating hard in his chest, the pang of rejection and confusion rips through Seungcheol as he turns away from where you had been standing and moves to the couch to sit down and rest his head in his hands.Â
Inside your apartment, you let your tears fall freely. You didnât want to disappoint Seungcheol, but the first thing you saw when he said those words to you was Matthewâs disappointed face. Thatâs the face you would have to see if the relationship didnât work out. That's who youâd be hurting. It wouldnât just be your heart or even Seungcheolâs heart on the line; it would be that childâs heart.Â
So now you sat on your kitchen floor, your heart feeling shattered as you forced yourself to stick to what you had decided instead of running back over to Seungcheolâs apartment and telling him that you felt the same way. Sometimes people donât get what they want just because they want it. Sometimes they have to give up what they want for the benefit of others.
Seungcheol was nervous as he stood in the doorway to your classroom. He knew he was early and that Matthew wasnât particularly happy with him because he would be the first student at school, but he needed to talk to you. The way things had ended the night before was eating at him.Â
Ushering Matthew into the room, Seungcheol watches as his son runs over to you. He feels his heart tighten as small arms wrap around your waist and he wants to do the same thing. The confusion and surprise on your face are enough to make the thoughts move from Seungcheolâs mind as he smiles at you and lifts Matthewâs bag, walking towards the cubbies.Â
âYouâyouâre early. The others wonât be here for probably half an hour.âÂ
Wincing at your words as he hangs Matthewâs bag up, Seungcheol considers lying. He thinks about telling you that he just has to get to work earlyâthatâs the only reason heâs bringing Matthew in so earlyâbut the look in your eye tells him that he should just tell you the truth.Â
"Iâyeah, I know. I just⊠Could I talk to you for a second?âÂ
Glancing towards Matthew, you sigh as he moves away from you both towards the building block area to play. Crossing your arms, you gesture back towards the door and the cubbies to give even more space between yourself and Seungcheol from the boy so he canât hear.Â
âIâm not sure thereâs a lot to talkââ
âI know⊠Iâm sorry. I donât mean to interrupt you, Y/N. But please? Can I just say this? I didnât really get to finish what I wanted to say.âÂ
You furrow your brow, glancing down at your fingers on your forearm as you nod. This conversation was already too difficult. Seungcheol felt too close, but glancing off to the side towards Matthew as he stacks up blocks, counting them quietly under his breath, makes you take in a deep breath as you listen to what he has to say.Â
âOkay, canât we just try it? This seems to work great. I mean, at least it does to me. All I asked for was dinner. I like you, Y/N. Like, really, really like you.âÂ
Tilting his head as he stops walking in the hallway, Alex narrows his eyes, listening to the conversation in your classroom. He had wanted to see you before school started, before your students arrived, but clearly someone had beat him. As he listened closer to the voice of the man, he recognized it, Seungcheol, your boyfriend. Why would he need to tell you how much he liked you?Â
Shaking your head, you lift your fingers to quickly wipe at your cheeks, feeling moisture under your eyes as you take a deep breath. This isn't about what you wanted or what Seungcheol wanted. That had become obvious to you last night. You couldnât and wouldnât risk breaking Matthewâs heart and ruining something good in his life. You couldnât be more than his teacher. Even being his friend was putting too much pressure on him. Everything could come crashing down and it wouldnât be you or Seungcheol who would suffer the most; it would be Matthew.Â
âI shouldnât have asked you to do this. I should have had more guts to justââ Stopping to let out an unamused laugh, you meet Seungcheolâs eyes as he gives you a confused, sad look. âIâm so sorry, Seungcheol. We need to stop this. No more pretending. Itâs not good for us and itâs worse for Matthew.âÂ
Pretending. The word causes Seungcheolâs heart to feel like itâs breaking and it causes Alex to scoff. You had been pretending to date Seungcheol. Shaking his head, Alex smirks as he turns back towards his own classroom, running his fingers through his hair, leaving you to finish your breakup with your fake boyfriend. He could always talk to you later.Â
âIâY/NâŠplease. Why do you think that this is going to hurt anyone? I donât ever want to hurt you and I certainly wouldnât hurt my son.âÂ
Biting at your lips, you furrow your brows and take a step back from Seungcheol as his voice cracks. You could hear other people in the halls now; this conversation had to end.Â
âHave a good day, Dr. Choi.âÂ
With his mouth falling open in confusion and hurt, Seungcheol closes his eyes at your words before nodding. He could hear the sound of the other children in the halls too. He knew he couldnât force you to talk about this or to come out of your shell, even if he could obviously see you were holding back something.Â
You turn from him as Seungcheol moves back into the classroom to lean over Matthew, kissing him on top of the head and whispering his goodbye before glancing at you once more. Without another word, he leaves the room and you feel like you are standing in the ocean as a wave of pain washes over you.Â
The day is longer than any other that you can remember. You avoid Seungcheolâs eyes as he picks up Matthew, even as the little boy grabs at your hand, asking you to come back over for dinner. When Seungcheol tells him that tonight isnât a good night, you hold back your tears as you listen to Matthewâs small, sad voice asking why.Â
That was why this wasnât going to work. You were so good at disappointing people. That was what your degree hanging on the wall should be in. A PhD in Disappointment.Â
Walking through your now empty room, you let the silence wash over you as you picked up books and toys, not hearing the door open. You donât hear footsteps approaching you until Alexâs voice pulls you out of your haze and brings you back to reality.Â
âYou didnât have to be so pathetic and pretend to have a boyfriend, babe. Seriously? I donât need to be jealous to want you back in my life. Iâll take you back, Y/N. You donât have to put on a brave face.âÂ
Alexâs words bite at your self esteem and your confidence. Keeping your back to him for a moment longer, you fight back your tears, realizing he had to have heard your conversation with Seungcheol at the beginning of the day. You want to be angry and embarrassed, but instead you are relieved. There is no longer a secret hanging over your head, no need to pretend or worry about some big reveal as the panic slowly fades from your body.Â
All you are left with, once the anxiety is gone, is disgust. You try to quickly picture a time when you were in love with Alex. You try to imagine wanting a full and long life with him after hearing him say such hateful and degrading things to you, but you canât. All you can feel is hate and pity. The pity isnât even for yourself; instead, you feel an overwhelming pity for the man who once made you laugh before he made you cry.Â
Turning to face Alex, you meet his eyes as he smirks at you, the smug look on his face looking more like a mask than something real. He wants to play the villain so badly and you could play the victim and let him have it, but instead you just sigh and nod.Â
âThank you, Alex.âÂ
Starting to speak, Alex looks surprised and hopeful before you lift your hand and stop him as you continue to speak.Â
âThank you for reminding me why I will never allow you in my life again. I never want to see you again. Someone who would say something like that to me... well, it should be obvious if you ever loved me why I couldnât and wouldnât want you near me. Please get the fuck out of my classroom and my life.âÂ
Your voice is even, a bit of emotion laced in it, but you arenât hysterical like Alex had imagined or perhaps wanted. You are instead mostly calm and collected and your words stab him in the gut like the final nail in the coffin of any chance at a relationship that he had imagined.Â
Taking a step backwards, Alex tries to speakâto come up with some excuse for his actions, but you were right. As he thinks back on the person that he had been and the person that he has become, guilt bites at him, making it harder to defend himself.Â
You watch as he shakes his head, muttering something so low that you canât hear it before he moves out of the room and your door shuts, leaving you once again in that empty silence.Â
Closing your eyes, you are back in that ocean as waves crash over you. Tears stream down your face and you recognize the pain as heartbreak. Heartbreak from the final mourning period of a relationship and the impossibility of another. Another wave knocks you back and you let out a sob, your hand on your stomach. More loss, but mixed with relief.Â
You feel the loss of a possibility for your own family. You had seen yourself with Seungcheol and Matthew, but that was possible. The relief was from letting go, or attempting to. It was also a loss of the weight that had been on your shoulders from the very moment that you had lied to Alex.Â
You just wish that it had never been a lie.
Despite many pep talks from Jeonghan, Seungcheol couldnât make himself knock on your door. He had seen you around the apartment complex during spring break, but you were avoiding him. Worst of all, you seem to be avoiding Matthew.Â
He didnât really blame you. After what you had told him, it made sense. You were scared, but so was he. He had been terrified from the moment he realized his feelings for you, but he had taken the leap and ended up falling short.Â
Any other time, Seungcheol would have given up. He would have stopped looking for that person and tried to push them out of his life, so why couldnât he do that with you? Why would he lay in bed every single night and picture you in yours, just an apartment over? Why would he look at his phone and pray that you would text him? Why couldnât he just get some guts and text you himself?Â
He had decided that after spring break, the first day of school, he would try his best. At school, it wasnât like you couldnât talk to him. You had to talk to parents, and you had to talk to your students. Matthew was excited about seeing you again; this would be the perfect time. It would have been perfect if, when Seungcheol had come through the door, there wasnât a completely different person standing at the front of the classroom.Â
 âDaddyâŠâÂ
The whine in Matthewâs voice almost broke Seungcheolâs heart. Running his hand over Matthewâs hair, Seungcheol offers the woman a smile and tilts his head as he walks towards her as she looks down at her clipboard.Â
âHi. Uh, Matthew Choi⊠Iâm Seungcheol, his father.âÂ
Smiling at the boy and at Seungcheol, the woman finds Matthewâs name and places a check next to it before sighing.Â
âSo prompt, I value responsibility. Hello, Iâm Mrs. Lim.âÂ
Shaking the womanâs hand, Seungcheol tries to keep his smile, but he knows itâs strained as he glances around the room, realizing how much of the room has changed. The posters were different. The books were in a different place. This wasnât your classroom anymore.Â
âItâs really nice to meet you. Iâm so sorry, but where is Miss Y/N?â
Swallowing hard, Mrs. Lim nods at the question before putting her clipboard to her chest and taking a deep breath, knowing she would be handling this question many times today.Â
âThe school was supposed to send out a letter, but perhaps not everyone got them in time. Miss Y/N accepted a job in another district. I hope that I can fill her shoes hereâŠâÂ
Feeling like a truck had run him over, Seungcheol just nodded as Matthew looked up at him, confused. A small hand tugs at his jacket and Seungcheol nods once again before glancing down at his son, trying to smile at him even as Matthew frowns.Â
âUh, Miss Y/N is teaching other kids, buddy.âÂ
âNo! Daddy!âÂ
Hearing his son cry was one of the most painful things that Seungcheol could experience. He knew it wouldnât be the last time, and it hadnât been the first by a long shot, but there was so much heartbreak in his sobs. Moving to his knees in front of Matthew, Seungcheol controls his own emotions as he wipes tears away and shushes the little boy to calm him down.Â
âItâs okay. Mrs. Lim seems so nice and Iâm sure you two will get along.âÂ
Pulling back from Seungcheol, Matthew sniffs hard, talking between sobs as big tears roll down his cheeks, meeting his dadâs fingers.
âDid I make Miss Y/N mad at me?â
Shaking his head quickly, Seungcheol pulls Matthew into his arms and closes his eyes, having an even harder time keeping himself in check. He was upset with you for not telling him, but he was even more upset with the fact that you felt like you had to leave.Â
âAbsolutely not. Miss Y/N adores you.âÂ
It takes a few more minutes before Matthew is calm enough that Seungcheol feels comfortable leaving. After apologizing to Mrs. Lim for the small outburst on behalf of his son, Seungcheol moves out into the hall and leans against the wall to catch his breath.Â
Running his fingers through his hair, he shakes his head and sniffs back his own tears that had threatened to fall when he hears a familiar voice. Glancing to his left, all Seungcheol sees is red. His feet moving quicker than his brain, Seungcheol pushes his forearm against Alexâs chest as the manâs back hits the wall with a dull thud. Only the sound of a gasp from another teacher is heard over Alexâs grunt before he tells the woman itâs fine.Â
âItâs not fine... what the fuck did you do? What did you do that made her leave?â
Scoffing through a bit of pain, Alex meets Seungcheolâs eyes and there is pain and hurt in both. The hurt in Alexâs eyes only serves to piss off Seungcheol more as he pushes harder against the manâs body, feeling his hand grasp at his wrist.Â
âIâget off me. I donât have to tell the fake boyfriend anything.â
Leaning back only to push against Alex harder so that his head hits the wall, Seungcheol watches the manâs mouth fall open in pain as he hears the sound of the security guard moving towards them. Taking a step back, he holds up his hands, showing them heâs done before he grabs him.Â
âYou donât know anything about Y/N and you donât know a damn thing about me and her.â Pointing towards Alex as the guard puts his hand around his forearm, Seungcheol scoffs, keeping his ground. âStay away from Y/N and if you ever touch Matthew again, I wonât need to file a report with the school. You got it?âÂ
Rubbing the back of his head, Alex winces and narrows his eyes at Seungcheol. It had all been grounds for him to let them drag Seungcheol out of the school until his kid was mentioned. Now Alex needed to save face. No, nothing had happened, but he had crossed the line multiple times with you and by approaching a student that wasnât his, he had already been warned by the administration.Â
âLet him go. Everything is fine. Just a misunderstanding. We are fine⊠We understand one another, I can promise you that.âÂ
Feeling the hand on his arm relax, Seungcheol scoffs at how quick Alexâs mood shifts. He was pathetic and he could understand why you wanted nothing to do with him. Giving the man one more look of contempt, Seungcheol shakes his head and moves for the main doors, letting them slam behind him.Â
Rolling your head from side to side, you rub your neck as you let out a soft sigh. You were tired after a long day and a longer commute than you were used to at your new school. The students were great but they werenât the same. The entire day, you found yourself missing your students, as you had to check name tags to remember who you were speaking to.Â
It would just take some getting used to. This was the best decision. It was easier for everyone to do it this way. It didnât matter that you looked for Matthew in the circle of children on the reading rug only to be disappointed when you couldnât find his sweet gummy smile and his kind eyes looking back up at you. Your heart would heal.Â
Taking your keys out of your purse as the elevator stops on your floor, you keep your eyes down until you are almost at your door. Seeing shoes on your welcome mat facing you makes you stop in your tracks and causes your eyes to slowly lift to meet Seungcheolâs as he rests against your door with a frown on his face.Â
You had done such a good job of avoiding him and Matthew. Sure, there had been a few times you had found yourself turning on your toes and heading in the other direction, but you had done that to make things easier for everyone. Looking at Seungcheol now, making eye contact with him, you knew there was no running away.Â
âUm⊠Hey.âÂ
Seungcheol had hoped for more after not talking to you for so long, but he would take what he could get. He knew he was putting you on the spot; clearly, there was no other way to get you to talk to him.Â
âHey. So, I, uh, I took Matthew to school this morning and needless to say, we were both a little shocked andâfuck, I wonât even lie, we were heartbroken when you werenât there. You quit?âÂ
Taking a deep breath, you look at your keys in your hand as Seungcheol speaks. Learning that he and Matthew were hurt by your absence makes your stomach feel queasy, but you try to stand your ground and keep yourself somewhat stoic as you nod.Â
âSorry, I got an offer about an hour away and I felt that I should take it. Ya know, itâs betterââ
âFor who?âÂ
Being interrupted by Seungcheol, you meet his eyes once again and let out a breath through your nose before looking off to the side. You didnât want to look him in the eye and try to explainâor lie about this. It was hard enough trying to convince yourself every day in the mirror.Â
âFor everyone, Seungcheol. I canât work there anymore. I didnât want to ruin things for Matthew or you. I couldnât be around Alex anymore.âÂ
Stepping away from the door, taking a step towards you, Seungcheol reaches out to take your wrist into his hand, trying to get you to actually look at him. When you donât instantly pull away, he lowers his head and leans to the right to make you meet his eyes as he speaks. The wet glaze over his eyes makes you feel like your heart is breaking all over again as your bottom lip quivers until you bite at it to force it to stop, once again forcing back any emotions that threaten to bubble to the surface.Â
âMatthew isnât happy without you, Y/N. Why in the hell would you think that he would be? Heâs depressed without you at school and without you in his life. I donât understand why you think heâd be better off without you around.âÂ
Sighing loudly, Seungcheolâs eyes drop to your bitten lip as you try to keep your tears back. He can see them on the rims of your eyes and he knows that you understand, even if you wonât say it.Â
âMy son loves you. Donât you get that? I lovâfuck⊠I need you in my life, Y/N. When I found out about you quitting I saw Alex and I confronted him. I told him to stay the fuck away from you, away from us.âÂ
Shaking your head, you pull your arm from Seungcheolâs, feeling his fingers chase after yours as he whines your name under his breath. You can hear and feel the desperation behind his voice and it makes you want to make it better, but you donât think he even understands what heâs saying to you or what heâs done.Â
âYou shouldnât have done that, Seungcheol. Thereâs no point. It was wrong of me to put myself into your life and into Matthewâs life. This is what I do. Donât you get that? I disappoint people. Please let meâlet me go. You donât get it.âÂ
Frustration rises in Seungcheol as you speak and as he watches your tears run down your cheeks. You were the one who didnât get it. You thought this was just pretty words and a dream but to him, it was so much more. You were so much more.Â
Sliding his hand along your cheek to push away your tears, Seungcheol whispers your name as you let out a soft sob. Wanting to make you see what he feels, he cups your face in his palm and brushes his lips against yours, feeling you stiffen in his grasp for only a second before you relax. His kiss not only stuns you but it also takes your breath away. Your tears flow even more freely as Seungcheolâs fingers brush at your skin and his lips move over yours until he finally pulls away and rests his forehead against yours.Â
âDo you understand now?âÂ
Wrapping your fingers around Seungcheolâs wrist, you sniff back tears as you lean your head back from his and shake your head.Â
âIt wonât work, Seungcheol.âÂ
Walking you towards the wall, Seungcheol shakes his head in return before leaning to kiss your cheek and tasting your tears on his lips.Â
"Yes, it will. It has to. I want it to⊠so fucking bad, baby. You feel like my missing piece. Y/N, youâre my somebody. Let me prove it to you.â
Seungcheol cups your face with both of his hands as you push your front door closed, letting him once again walk you backwards until your back is flush against the wall. The only difference this time is that itâs your lips that meet his first. You feel his fingers slide along the side of your head as he deepens the kiss, his tongue gliding into your mouth to mesh with your tongue before he groans, feeling your fingers grasp at his sides over his t-shirt.Â
This was everything Seungcheol had pictured for days, if not weeks, after being around you. He had wanted to kiss you that night when the two of you had shared wine on his couch. He had wanted to ask you to stay the night after dinner so that he could make love to you, and now he had you in his hands.Â
Sliding one hand along your neck, Seungcheol breaks the kiss long enough to meet your eyes, checking for any hesitation as his other hand moves to your hips and tugs them flush with his own. The only look in your eyes is one of desperation and desire. He wasnât the only one who had wanted this, he had just been better at admitting it to himself than you had. Now that it was real and in front of you, your brain was in a frenzy.Â
âYouâre so beautifulâso fucking beautiful. Wanted this⊠God, Iâve wanted it since I laid eyes on you. Wanna make you mine.âÂ
Seungcheolâs hand moves back to your face, resting on your jaw so that his thumb can brush over your bottom lip, tugging it down as you whimper. There truly was nothing better than this. No art in any museum could compare to you. No artist would ever capture that look in your eyes, the bitten look of your lips, or the desire that was burning in you for Seungcheol.Â
âPlease? Please, CheolâŠâÂ
Nodding, Seungcheol groans under his breath as you beg him to do what he wants. Glancing away from you, he gestures towards the hall in hopes that his guess of the layout of your apartment wasnât too far off.Â
âYeah, second door.âÂ
Smiling at your pretty voice, Seungcheol leans down to capture your lips once again as his hands move from your face and hips to wrap around your thighs right under your ass. Feeling your arms wrap around his neck in surprise, he grins on your lips and lifts you with little effort, even as you gasp.Â
âSeungcheol, oh my god, I can walk.âÂ
Clinging to Seungcheol, you watch as he shakes his head, walking you towards your bedroom. His strong hands are under you, holding you close to his body with each step.Â
âWhatâs the fun in that, baby? Let me have this, okay?âÂ
Stepping into your room, Seungcheol only glances around for a second before his lips are back on yours and he takes another step towards your bed, only to sit down, allowing you to rest on his lap. Your cheeks were hot with how flustered you felt, not only about being carried to your room but about how you could already feel Seungcheolâs cock between your legs. Letting out a shaky breath on his lips, you hold onto Seungcheolâs shoulders as you give into your desire and rest your knees on either side of his legs. Rolling your hips over the bulge in his jeans and earning you a deep groan from his throat, Seungcheol leans his head back and presses his fingers into the swell of your ass through your pants.Â
âShit⊠thatâthat feels so good. Itâs been a long time for me, Y/N.âÂ
Nodding, you slide your fingers from Seungcheolâs shoulder along his neck and up to his face to tilt it back towards you so you can meet his eyes as you roll your hips over him once again. You feel your own arousal beginning to soak through your panties, causing them to stick to your folds, a soft whine slipping from between your lips as your brows furrow.Â
âThatâs okay. Itâs been a while for me too, Cheol.âÂ
It might be selfish of him, but Seungcheol thinks at that moment that if he had his way, he might be your last. He would be all youâd ever need. Youâd never want to look for anyone else. All he needed to do was prove that to you.Â
Smiling into a soft groan, he groans as his brows furrow, feeling your fingernails press into his shoulders over his shirt. Seungcheol leans his head back and your lips against his throat has his eyes closing and his fingers tightening on your hips, pulling you down over his lap. Sliding his hands upwards, Seungcheol whispers your name as your lips move along his jaw and his head almost becomes cloudy with thoughts of putting your back on the bed and having his way with you.Â
âY/N⊠fuck. I need to see you. Can I? Can I see you?âÂ
Nodding, you lean back from him, letting his fingers work up your sides, pushing your shirt up as he goes. Brown eyes take in every new inch of skin exposed to him as Seungcheol furrows his brows and whispers out soft praises for you. He tells you how beautiful you are, how perfect you are, and how much he cares about you, all before pulling your shirt up and over your head and tossing it behind you into the floor.Â
Your cheeks burn at his attention as Seungcheol smiles at you, his fingers once again on your body. You canât help the way that you gasp and shift in his lap as his fingers walk along your flesh, leaving goosebumps behind his path.Â
Shifting your shoulders forward, you feel your bra straps fall down your arms when Seungcheolâs fingers work the clasps open at the middle of your back. The garment gives way and you feel warm breath fanning across your skin before soft plush kisses move from your shoulder to the center of your chest.Â
Letting your bra fall into your lap, you slide your fingers into Seungcheolâs hair as his name slips from between your lips like a prayer or a hymn. You didnât have much doubt that he would have been good at this, but it was still surprising at how much attention he was giving you and how he was taking his timeâeven if you wanted more and more quickly.Â
Tugging at his hair, you whine almost in frustration as you feel his lips brush over your nipple, only for Seungcheol to pull away and place a kiss in the same place on your other breast. You were so arousedâso wetâthat you felt like you could cum untouched on his lap, but every single teasing touch kept you right on the edge.Â
âCheol⊠please? I need more⊠Give me more.âÂ
He wanted to give you more. He wanted to see more, but tasting your skin was like tasting sugar for the first time. The salt in your skin was addictive. The smell of your body wash, the perfume that you used... even the laundry detergent that you chose was like the perfect mix to keep him dazed. Itâs only your voice that brings him back to the present and reminds him what heâs supposed to do.Â
Standing with you secure in his arms, Seungcheol quickly turns to lay you on your bed so he can hover over you. The feeling is instantly different. You had known that he was a large man and that he worked hard in the gym, but having him on top of you like this made it even more obvious how small you were compared to him.Â
Letting his eyes move over your face for a moment as your eyes widen, Seungcheol smirks slightly, trailing his fingers along your stomach to the clasp of your jeans. Working them open, he watches you bite your bottom lip and all he can think is how he wants to do that for you, how heâd do anything for you if you asked him to. It could be in this bed or the most simple domestic task and he would make it happen.Â
When Seungcheolâs palm presses to your abdomen and his fingers work their way into your jeans past your panties, you canât help the small, surprised gasp that escapes from behind your lips. Your hips lift and Seungcheolâs middle finger barely presses between your folds, brushing over your clit, and itâs almost enough to make you want to scream his name.Â
You didnât remember being this easy to please, but perhaps it wasnât even that⊠no, perhaps it was Seungcheol touching you. Maybe it was his fingers sliding against your wet folds and parting them so that he can circle your entrance with that same middle finger. It was because this time you were with the man you had spent hours trying to avoid picturing spending your life with and now he was groaning your name, feeling your slick arousal coating his fingers for the first time.Â
âBaby, oh my god, Y/N.â Seungcheol feels his mouth water as he feels his fingers slipping through your soft, wet folds. He just shakes his head as he tries to angle his hand in your tight jeans to press his finger into you, only to whine in frustration when he canât. âGotta get these off. Wanna taste you⊠gotta open you up, baby girl.âÂ
Smiling as you run your fingers through Seungcheolâs hair, hearing him whine, you lower your eyes to his hands as he tugs at your jeans, working them down your legs. There was this amazing juxtaposition when it came to him. You had just felt so small under him and now you were listening to him whine and talk with a pout on his lips as he tried to pull your pants off while still talking to you with such a dirty mouth.Â
Grinning to himself as he drops your jeans on the floor next to the bed, Seungcheol glances up at you before he wraps his arms under your thighs and scoots you up in the bed suddenly. Gasping his name, you grab at his shirt out of surprise, feeling it pull up his body as he meets your eyes again with a raised brow.Â
âCanât have you falling off the bed. Do you want my shirt? You can have it, sweetheart.âÂ
Your eyes follow Seungcheolâs hand as he reaches over his shoulder to tug at his shirt, pulling it up over his head with one swift movement. There were many ways to remove a shirt but that had to be the sexiest way you had ever seen. Trying to push your thighs together, you find you canât as Seungcheolâs knee rests between them, drawing his eyes down to your legs as he hands you his shirt.Â
âFuck⊠look at you.âÂ
Hissing out a moan, you clench your fingers around Seungcheolâs shirt and lift your hips when he pushes his thumb against the center of your panties, where the cloth was sticking to your skin. This wasnât what you meant by giving you more, but any complaints canât make it out of your mouth as Seungcheol smirks at you, one hand resting on the bed next to your hip and the other staying between your legs.Â
Brushing his knuckles over your wet panties, he lets out a breath before pulling them to the side and letting out a deep groan at the sight. He knew you were wet. He had felt it on his fingers and it was easy to see even through your panties, but seeing your glistening skin was another thing entirely.Â
âSo pretty⊠youâre so wet, baby girl. Is it uncomfortable?âÂ
Nodding, you close your eyes tightly, feeling tears threatening to spill over the rims of your eyes from just anticipation.Â
âYes, CheolâŠâÂ
A soft, sweet, faux cooing sound slips from his lips before Seungcheol lowers himself down between your legs to run his tongue over your soft folds. Grunting to the taste, he furrows his brows and wraps his fingers around your panties tighter, keeping them to the side as he wraps his free arm around your hip, tugging you closer to his mouth. One simple taste wasnât nearly enough, it was only enough to make him feel feral with desire for you and for him to want to bury his face between your legs for the rest of his life.Â
Bringing Seungcheolâs shirt up to your mouth, you bite down on the cotton to muffle your moans. Your eyes close tightly, tears running from your eyes and towards your hairline as Seungcheolâs lips wrap around your clit, and he sucks hard and groans, sending a vibration through your body. You feel yourself clench around nothing until he runs his tongue along your folds, massaging them, pulling them into his mouth and finally pressing his tongue into your needy hole.Â
âSeungcheol!âÂ
The shirt falls from your lips as you scream his name, feeling the pressure that has been building in your abdomen and threatening to overflow. Seungcheolâs lips pull up ever so slightly, even as he nudges his nose against your clit and fucks you with his tongue, feeling you clench around the muscle.Â
He wanted you to cum for him. He needed it more than he needed water to survive the desert. You were all that made sense right now, and getting you to bliss was the answer to everything.Â
Sliding his hand from around your hip, Seungcheol grunts under his breath as he leans back, face wet with your slick. Spitting on your entrance, he works two of his fingers into your velvet walls, watching you arch your back off the bed.Â
âThere you go, baby.âÂ
He could feel you clamping down around his fingers as you became impossible wetter, your cum seeping around his fingers with each deep thrust.Â
âOh my god, Cheol...â
Smiling against your inner thigh, Seungcheol glances up at you to meet your eyes as he carefully slides his fingers out of you, feeling your walls pulse around them. He wanted more, but even if you decided that you couldnât handle more or that you didnât want more, seeing you like that would be enough.Â
Reaching out for him, you wrap your legs around his waist, feeling instantly frustrated at the feeling of his jeans against your skin. The only thing that makes it better is his soft, plush lips on yours. You try to think quickly of anything better than Choi Seungcheolâs kissâthe way he would smile against your mouth before licking into it with a groanâand nothing comes to mind. Muttering into the kiss, you drag your fingers along his sides, feeling him shiver under your hands before he leans back to look down at you with want in his eyes.Â
âOff, take them off. WantâI want you. Please?âÂ
At first, when you say off, Seungcheolâs heart almost drops into his stomach. He thinks that you really have had enough of him for the night, but then your nails tug at the top of his jeans and a smile pulls at his pretty lips.Â
âAnything you want... fuck, Y/N. Iâd give you the world.âÂ
Sucking on your bottom lip, you feel heat rising in your cheeks and along your chest and neck at Seungcheolâs words. You had fallen deep and hard for this man and he was a romantic. You werenât going to get out of this without a few scars or in one piece, but now you werenât sure if you wanted to.Â
Watching him closely, your eyes follow Seungcheol as he slides off the bed to push his jeans down along with his boxers, leaving him naked in front of you. Bringing your fingers up to your already bitten lips, you turn on your side and press your cheek against your arm, trying to hide your reaction, but the look on Seungcheolâs face tells you that you havenât gotten off that easily.Â
Moving back to you, he runs his hand up the length of your leg, stopping at your hip as he tilts his head to meet your eyes, his other hand pulling your fingers from your lips. Seungcheol watches as your lips fall open on a soft, breathy gasp of his name when he guides your hand to his cock. With your hand in his, he guides your palm over the head of his length before wrapping your fingers around his shaft and dragging your hand from tip to base.Â
âThis okay?â
Nodding quickly, you whine, feeling Seungcheol thrust his hips gently towards your hand as he lets go of yours in place of running his fingers over your head, a groan slipping from his lips. He didnât want to get off like this, and he wouldnât, but with how you had been looking at himâa mixture of lust and surpriseâSeungcheol wanted to make sure you knew what was going inside of you.Â
Your eyes stay on his face for a moment longer before they drop to your hand and Seungcheolâs cock in your hand. It wasnât as if you couldnât tell he was big, but feeling and seeing were different stories. It wasnât length but girth. He was thick enough that you could already imagine the stretch and found yourself thanking him in your mind for making you cum first.Â
âShâshit baby⊠I gotta stop you.âÂ
Putting his hand back over yours, Seungcheol licks his lips and moves your hand from his leaking cock as it twitches, almost begging you for more. He already felt so close. Just looking at you, fucking you with his tongue, and feeling you on his fingers had been enough to make him feel like he was going to cum, but now your hand on him? He was lucky he didnât cum the second he put your fingers around his cock.Â
âFuck me, Cheol.âÂ
Your voice is timid and almost a whisper but Seungcheol can hear it. Furrowing his brows, he licks his lips once more before shaking his head and this time your heart sinks before he speaks and slides his hand between your legs, parting them so he can once again run his fingers through your already swollen, wet folds.Â
âNo⊠Iâm not going to fuck you, baby girl.â Grinning as you start to pout and whine in protest, Seungcheol leans to kiss your lips as he pushes two fingers into you, feeling you arch off the bed. âIâm gonna make love to you. Thereâs a difference.âÂ
Gasping on his lips, you hold on to his shoulders, digging your nails into his skin as Seungcheol rocks his fingers back against your spot, feeling you clench down over them once again. When you throw your head back, cum once again coating his fingers, Seungcheol groans, leaning to press his lips to the column of your throat, feeling your swallow hard under his kiss.Â
âThatâs it, such a good girl. You feel good?â
Out of breath, you nod weakly as Seungcheol looks down at you, sliding his fingers out of you.Â
âThatâs all I want, babyâŠâÂ
Glancing around the room, Seungcheol leans his head on his arm before taking a breath and wincing a bit before asking you what he had been mildly dreading from the moment this had begun. He knew it could make or break the moment, but it was important.Â
âI didnât bring anything with me with the assumption that something like this was happening.Â
Fuck, I mean, I donât even think I have condoms at my place. Do you have anything?âÂ
Smiling as you bite your lips, you run your fingers over Seungcheolâs cheek before tracing his lips, feeling him press a kiss to your fingers.Â
âIâm on birth control, Cheol. Itâs fine.âÂ
Taking a deep breath against your fingers, Seungcheol nods, feeling the pressure melt away as you run your knee along his outer thigh up to his hip. He hated the idea of disappointing you after making a big promise like he had, but now the pressure was taken over by desire. It was an honor to be in your bed in the first place, but like this? His head was spinning.
Sliding his fingers along your bent leg, Seungcheol leans into your hand as you cup his cheek before he turns to kiss your palm and nods, letting you know without words what he was doing. Gasping softly at the feeling of the tip of his cock running through your folds, you close your eyes and drop your hand to his shoulder as you push your head back into the pillow. Not even imagining the stretch could actually prepare you for the real thing as Seungcheol slowly eased inside of you bit by bit.Â
âOh my god.â The words fall from your lips like a prayer, tears finding your eyes again as the painful stretch is quickly replaced with pleasure. âSeungcheol⊠fuck. YouâreâŠâÂ
The words get caught in your throat and Seungcheol looks up at you in concern, seeing tears running from your eyes. Running his fingers over your face, he stops moving and presses his lips to yours, only to feel you shake your head and lift your hips, trying to get more of him inside of you.Â
âAhâfuck, Y/N⊠I justâI wanted to make sure you were okay.âÂ
Nodding, you capture Seungcheolâs lips, kissing him between words.Â
âIâm okay. Feels so good, baby. Please give me more.âÂ
Hearing you call him baby left Seungcheol stunned and love struck. He pauses before feeling you once again lift your hips before you wrap your legs around his waist and whine his name on his lips.Â
âOkayâŠokay. Itâs just... call me that again? Please?âÂ
You hadnât even realized what you had said until he asked for you to call him the pet name again. Opening your eyes as you press your head back into the pillow, you feel Seungcheol bottom out in you, the stretch so intense that you clench around him, earning yourself a well deserved groan from his chest.Â
âBaby?âÂ
You watch as Seungcheol nods, another groan dripping from his lips like candy for you to collect. Smiling, you canât hold back a soft moan as Seungcheol makes a shallow thrust and you feel full and complete. You find yourself wanting to always feel like this. Warm, full, and safe.Â
âIâloââ You struggle with your words as Seungcheol thrusts deep and harder, sending your head towards the headboard. Reaching back over your head, you hold on to the side of it and hum out another moan before nodding. âJust like that, baby. Iâm so close. Youâre right, thereâs a difference.âÂ
Seungcheol smiles at your words as he leans down to press a kiss on your shoulder. He was hoping you hadnât been upset with him for telling you he was going to make love to you. There would be plenty of time for him to fuck you laterâat least he hoped so. If he got his way, this would be forever. He could already picture himself buying a ring and getting down on one knee.Â
Shaking his head to push that thought from his head, not wanting to scare you away, Seungcheol nips at your neck and groans, feeling himself about to burst. He had already made you cum twice, but it was important to him that you were satisfied. He would do everything he could not to cum before you.Â
Tugging one of your legs loose from his waist, Seungcheol meets your eyes as he slides his hand between your bodies and finds your folds. He watches as your mouth falls open as his fingertips rub in tight circles over your clit, all while his cock is buried deep inside of you until that cord that was winding in your abdomen snaps once again.Â
âYesâŠyesâoh fuck!âÂ
Your voice was like music and had to be what angels sound like. That was all Seungcheol could think of as you came on his cock. You were so tight before, but now, as you orgasmed for the third time with him inside of you, he had seen heaven, and he wasnât sure how he survived you.Â
âPlease⊠now you. Cheol, baby⊠please?âÂ
You begging him to cum only solidified that he had to have died and gone to heaven because there was no way for him to resist you. There was no way for him to hold back. Groaning loudly against the crook of your neck, Seungcheol cums as he feels your thighs start to shake around him.Â
Running your fingers through his sweaty, damp hair, you close your eyes and focus on catching your breath as Seungcheol rests over your body. He was afraid he was too heavy, but the moment he tried to move away from you, a small whine of protest had him staying right where he was. Placing small kisses on the top of your breasts, Seungcheol then glances up at you, seeing the bliss on your face and he canât help but smile.Â
âYou are so beautiful.âÂ
Laughing softly, you open your eyes and look down at Seungcheol before lifting your hand to hide your face. There was no way you looked remotely beautiful at the moment. You knew you were sweaty and in desperate need of a shower and yet here was the most attractive man you had ever seen in your life, telling you that you were beautiful.Â
Wrapping his hand gently around your wrist, Seungcheol pulls your hand from your face and kisses the back of it before bringing your palm to his chest. You feel his heart beating hard as he too works to catch his breath.Â
âIâm serious, Y/N. I am soâshit I donât want to scare you away, but Iâm afraid if I donât, Iâll lose you again. Iâm in love with you.âÂ
Taking a sharp breath at Seungcheolâs confession, you glance up at the ceiling to avoid having to look at his eyes. A small frown replaces his smile as he hears your heart beat quicken in panic. He hadnât wanted you to panic, but he knew it was a risk. Carefully sliding out of you and to your side, Seungcheol lifts your hand from his chest to his lips and kisses the back of your knuckles as you bite at your lips.Â
âY/N, baby, please look at me? I wanna talk about this. I know you feel something for me or else we wouldnât be in this bed.âÂ
Pushing your thighs together, feeling even more sticky and sweaty, you feel yourself becoming even more self conscious until you meet Seungcheolâs eyes and see the concerned look on his face. You didnât want to hurt him again. You had spent so much of your life running and once you had a good thing, it bit you in the ass. So now that you had walls that he had taken a sledgehammer to, it was terrifying.Â
âIâyouâre right. I do feel something for you. I feel a lot of things. Iâm just so fucking scared, Seungcheol. What if we mess this up? I donâtââÂ
Closing your eyes, your words end on a sob as your emotions get the better of you. Moving to pull you into his arms, Seungcheol shakes his head and shushes you before kissing the side of your head, letting you continue.
âI canât hurt Matthew. I love him so much. I know I shouldnât. Itâs not proper for a teacher to have a favorite like that.âÂ
Smiling against your head, Seungcheol takes a deep breath and places another kiss before shaking his head.Â
âI donât think it has anything to do with being his teacher or a teacher in general. I thinkâand you can tell me to shove it up my ass if Iâm out of line, but I think it has to do with just love in general. You are maternal, Y/N.âÂ
Swallowing hard, you hold onto Seungcheolâs forearm as you think through what he has said.Â
There was a part of you that did want to tell him to shove it, but a larger part that knew he wasnât wrong. You had pictured far too often a life with them that wasnât just being Matthewâs teacher.Â
âI feel like I should apologize for that or something.âÂ
Leaning back to look down at you, Seungcheol moves his hand to tilt your chin up so you will look at him. Furrowing his brow, he shakes his head and the look in his eyes is the most serious you have seen in the entire night.Â
âNever apologize for loving my son. He loves you too.âÂ
The words go straight to your heart and tears stream down your face. You picture Matthewâs sweet smile as you close your eyes and you know you have to ask about him.Â
âIâokay. Can Iâcan I ask how heâs doing?âÂ
Pulling you back to his chest, Seungcheol leans against your headboard and leans his head back against it with a soft sigh.Â
âHeâs sad, baby. He misses you. He doesnât like school as much, even if Mrs. Lim is a decent teacher. He asked if you didnât like him anymore and that was why you had to teach other little kids.âÂ
Seungcheol knew the truth of what Matthew had been dealing with would hurt you, but it was something that you needed to know. He could have sugar coated it, but when it came to his son and how he was feeling, that was something Seungcheol would never do. He isnât surprised when he feels your body shake against his. It breaks his heart to feel your tears against his chest as you turn in his arms to be held tighter.Â
âI canât go back to thatâto that school, Cheol. I didn'tâŠÂ Iâm the fucking worst.âÂ
Shushing you, Seungcheol kisses the top of your head as tears sit on the rims of his eyes, feeling your heartbreak and his own for his son.Â
âI know it wasnât just about us. That wasnât why you left. Whatâs done is done. You arenât the worst; donât talk about yourself like that. All we need to do is talk to Matthew about it. He will understand.âÂ
"Alright, listen, if your dad asks about the weekend, what are you gonna say?âÂ
Jeonghan lifts a brow as he looks down at Matthew on his right. The little boyâs hand in his as he smiles up at him. It had taken a lot to get that smile on his face and he was proud to see it. Between him and Joshua, a weekend of trash tv, and all the worst foods you could feed a child, he was finally seeing the Matthew he knew.Â
âThat Uncle Jeonghan and Uncle Shua let me watch edgeucational things only on TV.âÂ
Clicking his tongue as he winks at his godson, Jeonghan fishes his key for Seungcheolâs apartment out of his pocket and pushes the door open. Shifting the overnight bag on his shoulder, he doesnât glance up until he hears Matthew gasp in surprise. The sound scares him, his eyes widening as the boy takes off, running towards the living room and drawing his eyes in that direction.Â
âWhat! Whatâs wrong?âÂ
Itâs when he sees you sitting on the couch with Seungcheol that it makes sense. He watches as Matthew wraps his arms around your neck, the sad expression on your face and tears in your eyes as you wrap your arms around the child, pulling him into your lap.Â
Meeting Seungcheolâs eyes, Jeonghan lifts his brows and gets a grin back as an answer. Shaking his head, Jeonghan drops the bag from his shoulder onto the couch and lets out a low, deep sigh. It had taken long enough, but clearly things had worked out the way they were supposed to. He just wished it had happened sooner and not at the expense of Matthewâs happiness. At least he could relish in the happy look on his face now, that was making up for almost all of it.Â
âWell then, I was going to see if you needed me to stay for a bit today, but clearly...âÂ
Rolling his eyes, Seungcheol stands up to hug Jeonghan, whispering that he will explain everything later. Glancing back to you and Matthew, he presses his lips together as you nod along with Matthewâs story about his weekend with Uncle Jeonghan and Joshua, letting him have a moment to walk Jeonghan to the door.Â
âYeah, I wanna know all the juicy details. Jihoon owes me 100 bucks.âÂ
Grinning as Seungcheol makes a face of disgust, Jeonghan waves at you and Matthew before walking out the door, leaving the three of you to yourself. Leaning against the wall, Seungcheol watches for a moment longer, his lip caught between his teeth as you run your fingers through Matthewâs hair lovingly while you explain the new job.Â
âBut, Iâll still see you all the time. I promise, okay? I just have to help other kids for the rest of the year.âÂ
Pouting a bit, Matthew wraps his hand around yours, pulling it into his lap before nodding.Â
âMmkay⊠as long as you come over all the time.âÂ
Smiling a bit sheepishly as he looks from you to his dad and back, Matthew kicks his legs and giggles, making you tilt your head as Seungcheol moves to the couch to sit next to you.Â
âDaddy, does this mean that Miss Y/N can be my mommy now?âÂ
Blanching slightly, Seungcheolâs mouth falls open as he looks at you, watching your lips press together. Meeting his sonâs eyes, he tries to speak before laughing and rubbing the back of his neck.Â
âUh, thatâs adult business, son. I donât know. Maybe one day. You know if Y/N will have your daddy as a husband.âÂ
Looking away to hide your embarrassed smile, you clear your throat as Matthew giggles once again and slides from your arms to his dadâs.Â
âI think thatâs a yes. All the boys on the TV show Uncle Shua liked got down on their knees and just asked. Most of the girls said yes, even though they were behind a wall!âÂ
His eyes widening, Seungcheol looks at you as you laugh and brings your fingers to your lips before speaking.Â
âI thought you said you guys watched educational videos?âÂ
Looking down at his hands, realizing he had said too much, Matthew grins and shrugs.Â
âI didnât say nothing.âÂ
Eyes narrowing, Seungcheol presses his fingers into his sonâs side, tickling him as he shakes his head.Â
âI need to have a talk with your uncles about teaching you how to lie and letting you watch garbage.âÂ
Smiling, you watch the two people you love the most as they laugh and end up hugging when Seungcheol kisses Matthewâs cheek. You could get used to seeing this every day.Â
You had thought that after you had helped Seugcheol get Matthew to bed, you might sneak back to your apartment, but then he wrapped his fingers around your wrist and pouted. That was how you ended up on his bed, his lips on your neck as you whined softly, doing your best to keep your voice down, feeling him smile against your skin.Â
âSeungâSeungcheol, please. Iâm trying to be quiet. Iâm not sure I can do this. What if we wake up, Matthew? How do we even explainââÂ
Leaning back, Seungcheol meets your eyes and purses his lips before sliding off the bed and offering you his hand. Taking a breath to calm down, you put your fingers on his and let him guide you off the bed and towards the connected ensuite.Â
âWe donât have to explain anything, baby. Heâs a heavy sleeper, but if you are worried.âÂ
Leaning against the counter of the double sink, you watch as Seungcheol leans into the glass shower to turn it on. The sound of water fills your ears and you smile as the man you had grown to adore beyond words looks back at you for praise as if he had just moved the earth for you.Â
âSmartâŠâÂ
Nodding along with your words, Seungcheol moves back over to you, sliding the skirt of your sundress up your legs to your hips.Â
âI mean, I am a doctor. Itâs a requirement.âÂ
Smacking his chest, you listen to Seungcheolâs laugh and it makes you feel warm and safe. Lifting your arms, you let him quickly undress you, dropping your dress on the counter before he takes a knee and hooks his fingers into your panties, shimmying them down your legs.Â
âYou donât look half bad on your knee, Dr. Choi.âÂ
Seungcheol lifts his brow, a smirk pulling at one side, before he leans to press a kiss to your leg, discarding your panties to the side. You run your fingers through his hair, enjoying the feeling of his soft lips on your skin, chill bumps spreading under his kisses.Â
âYou like me on my knee? Wanna see me like this again?âÂ
Your cheeks burning, you bite at your lips and hide your smile as you look away from his eyes as Seungcheol looks up at you before rising to his feet once again. Turning your head back towards him, Seungcheol brushes his lips over yours as steam starts to fill the room. He could feel the warmth on your cheeks under his fingers as he ran his thumb along your cheekbone towards your hairline.Â
âHm? I asked you something, baby girl.âÂ
Whining his name, you take a breath as Seungcheol takes a step back to tug off his shirt and quickly get rid of his pants and boxers before offering you his hand once again.Â
âYou canât ask me things like that. Itâs too soon.âÂ
Shaking his head, Seungcheol leads you towards the shower, opening the door for you and following you inside. His eyes move along your body as the water hits your skin and you lean your head back into the stream of water with a smile on your face. Lifting his free hand, Seungcheol runs it between your breasts and down your stomach as the smile on his lips grows.Â
âToo soon for what? For me to already be thinking about wanting to marry you? Shit, I was thinking about that the night we drank wine until 2 in the morning on my couch.âÂ
Licking water from your lips, you lift your head to look at Seungcheol as he speaks to you. His words make you feel hot and almost speechless. He had wanted you for that long? He had wanted you that way for that long.Â
Meeting your eyes for a second, Seungcheol lets out a soft hum of appreciation at the dazed look on your face before his middle finger drags between your folds and your knees buckle. Quickly wrapping his arm around your waist, he groans as he turns your back towards the shower wall and lets you rest against it.Â
âIâm in it for the long haul, baby. I think you know that. Is that something youâd want? Hm? What was Matthew asking earlier? To be his mommy?âÂ
Your lips fall open in a moan of Seungcheolâs name as you feel two of his fingers hook into you and his palm rests against your clit. Lifting your leg, you wrap one around his waist, letting him keep you upright as you try to think straight, only managing to babble incoherently. You werenât sure how he wanted you to think clearly and come up with logical words when his fingers were so deep in you.Â
âTell me⊠I really wanna know. Doesnât mean itâs gonna happen tonight, but... I wonât lie, thinking about you like thatâas my wifeâŠâ You feel Seungcheol shiver as a grin pulls at his lips against your jaw. âIt turns me on.âÂ
You knew Seungcheol was romantic and now you knew he had particular kinks. God you were in trouble. You were in trouble of being in constant pleasure if you did end up being this man's wife. Holding onto Seungcheolâs biceps, you whisper his name as his lips brush against yours before nodding and feeling him nod in return.Â
âYou do? Yeah? Can you say it for me? I wanna hear it. Indulge me, sweetheart.âÂ
Whining, you lean your head back against the shower wall as you feel yourself starting to fall over the edge. Tears threaten to spill from your eyes from pleasure as you whimper and your mouth falls open, cum slipping down Seungcheolâs fingers as you moan out the words he wants to hear.Â
âI would; I would wanna be your wife, Cheol. I love you.âÂ
Bracing himself against the wall, palm flat against it, Seungcheol groans, feeling himself unable to hold back. Itâs not everything he has to give you, but you are surprised to feel warm cum on your stomach, drawing your eyes downward.Â
âOh, my god...â
Sighing, Seungcheol laughs, a bit embarrassed, before pushing off the wall and sliding his fingers out of you. Wiping his mouth clean of water, he uses his other hand to hold your leg to his hip as before, stroking his still hard cock a couple times and lining himself up with your eager pussy.Â
âI told you I liked the idea of it. I love you, too. FuckâŠâÂ
The last word out of Seungcheolâs mouth is drawn out as he slips himself inside of you with some effort. In this position, you were even tighter than he was used to. He had taken you to bed a few times over the weekend, but never like this and you had never sucked his cock in like you were trying to milk him dry.Â
Holding your hip tightly, Seungcheol meets your eyes as you let out a soft gasp, feeling his hips meet yours. At this angle, you felt like he was going to tear you apart, but you werenât complaining. There was bad pain, and then there was this. This was that sweet, satisfying pain that led to so much pleasure that you saw stars, and you were starting to see them.Â
Lips meeting yours, Seungcheol groans into the kiss as he grinds his hips against yours, finding it harder to move after a few deep thrusts when you clamp down over him and cum once again. Scratching at his wet skin, you bite down into his bottom lip before leaning back from his kiss to pant out his name when Seungcheol groans so deep it sounds like a growl.Â
He had made love to you before; there had truly been a difference between that and now. The way his fingers were bruising your hips and the way his hips were slapping against yoursânow he was fucking you. You knew you wouldnât be able to tell him which way you preferred, even as you watched his mouth fall open as he cums once again, this time filling you and pushing it out with each deep thrust.Â
âHoly shit, baby.âÂ
Furrowing your brows, you let out a soft gasp as Seungcheol slips from you and lowers your leg safely back to the floor. Keeping your back to the wall, you take a few deep breaths, feeling his fingers running along your sides as his lips press to your throat, up your jaw, and finally to your lips before you smile.Â
âThat wasâŠâÂ
Nodding to agree with you, Seungcheol laughs against your lips before taking a step back to step under the showerhead, feeling the warm water run over his body. Opening your eyes, you canât help the way you shyly look at him before laughing and looking away, making him grin as he reaches for his shampoo with a tilt of his head.Â
âWhat? Are you shy now? Is this about being in the shower with me or, uh, wife talk?âÂ
Wrinkling your nose, you knock your head back against the shower wall before pushing off of it and towards Seungcheol. Watching him follow you with curious eyes, you sigh and lift your arms to run your fingers through his hair, spreading around the shampoo as you speak, feeling his hands running over your hips.Â
âThe last part. It is a little fast. but Iâis it bad that I like it too? Maybe I want that? Not now!â You are quick to add on the last to your sentence, making Seungcheol laugh before he leans his head back into the water, washing out the shampoo from his hair. âJust in the future, with you?âÂ
Taking a breath, Seungcheol runs his fingers through his hair and then holds on to your waist, switching positions under the shower head to let you stand there as he grabs body wash to start spreading it over your body slowly.Â
âNot at all. I want it... in the future.âÂ
Smiling brightly, Seungcheol meets your eyes as you whine, feeling overwhelmed. Leaning to kiss your nose, he sighs and spreads the soapy water along your body as he nods.Â
âDid I ever tell you that if I got married again, Iâd love to have my honeymoon in Barcelona?âÂ
He was great at breaking the tension. You couldnât help the smile that pulled up at your lips or the laugh that spilled from between them as you shook your head, turning in his arms to let him wash your back.Â
âNo? Well, thatâs my dream destination. Iâve never been, and what better place to go with my bride?âÂ
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The Gods and Everyone
summary: you and aemond sorely overestimate how much time you have before a small council meeting, which leaves the two of you in quite a scandalous predicament
pairing: aemond targaryen x reader
warnings: mature/explicit, 18+ (minors dni!), no use of y/n, afab reader, cockwarming, public sex, slight breeding kink, fingering, aemond being an absolute menace, dirty talk, aegon being a little shit but what else is new, let me know if i missed anything!
word count: 5.6k
a/n: based on an anon request for cockwarming! i hope you're still with me and that you enjoy this, friend! sorry it took me so long to get to it!
creds to @bbygirl-aemond for the gif!
likes, comments, & reblogs are very appreciated but never required!
đadd yourself to my taglist to be notified when i post new fics!
You watch, concerned, as your husband flits around the Small Council chamber, your eyes following his lithe form as he checks and re-checks the parchment with notes he had written for himself earlier that morning â youâd awoken in the pale hour just before sunrise to see him already hunched over the small desk in your chambers, scribbling away furiously with a quill, his pale hair glowing in the dim light of the candle next to him. All of your attempts to lure him back into bed with you had fallen on deaf ears.Â
âYou know you needn't do all this,â you point out, perched against the Small Council table, your eyes tracking him as he paces back and forth across the space, going over his notes for the upteenth time, âYour only job is to be on time like everyone else, husband.â
âThings will improve with time,â he rushes out, fixing you with a pointed look, âHardly two moons have passed since ViserysâŠâ He pauses, pinching the bridge of his nose, âThe least I can do is ease this transition for Aegon and mother.â
âMy love, it is a transition for us all,â you soothe, striding to him and gently taking his hand. His fingers, rough from all his years of training with swords and spears, instantly wrap around your own as he lets out a tired sigh, âYou included. Aegon named you Master of War, not master of everything.âÂ
âI know,â Aemond murmurs, eye softening as his gaze traces over you, âI find it hard to be still when there is so much chaos â Dorne has yet to be subdued and there are whispers of rebellion from the North. There is so much still to be accounted for.â
âI understand,â you reassure him, your fingers threading through his long, silvery hair, lips quirking into a smile as the gesture makes his eye flutter closed for a second. âBut all this stress cannot be good for you, husband,â you sigh, gazing up at him with a mournful smile, âYou need rest and calm andâŠand I need you.â You nearly whisper, blush creeping across your cheeks as Aemondâs eye darkens.Â
âSweetlingââ He starts with a sigh.Â
âAemond, please,â you cut him off, wrapping your arms around his trim waist as you lay your head against his chest, his heart thumping in your ear, âI cannot bear to hear another excuse, I feel as if you have been away for weeks.âÂ
Heâs quiet for a moment, wrapping his long, lean arms tightly around you as he rests his chin on your head, your breaths the only sound in the stony chamber. âIâm sorry,â he finally whispers, smoothing a hand up and down your back, âI miss you too, my sweet girl.âÂ
You hum, leaning further into his embrace after going without it for so long, âYou havenât touched me in weeks.â You say quietly, his touch already igniting a spark in the pit of your stomach.Â
âPerhaps tonight,â his breath is warm against the top of your head as he speaks into your hair, âI will try to cut my meeting withââ
âYouâve been saying that for weeks,â you cut him off once more with a sigh, pulling back to look up at him, âI canât take anymore, my love, I need to feel you.â You whine, nearly petulant like a spoiled child. If it were any other time, if you were any less desperate, youâd be embarrassed at your behavior. Right now, though, you could not find it within yourself to care as you stared into your husbandâs darkened eye, finally feeling the passion you had gone so many weeks without.Â
Aemond chuckles as he looks down at you, conflicted between feeling pleased to see you reduced to such a state while also feeling a similar fire in his own belly. âSweetling, the meetingââ
âIs not due to start for at least another hour!â You interrupt, determined to persuade him to this. Taking you in various parts of the Keep was not new to him, both of you had plenty of memories from your courtship and first year of marriage of rutting together in all sorts of nooks and crannies of the old castle.Â
Aemond gazes at you for a long moment, an unreadable expression on his face, though his eye remains dark with desire. After a second, he nods to himself almost imperceptibly, seeming to come to some decision you werenât privy to. Finally, finally his lips descend upon yours as he sweeps you into an all-consuming kiss, his arms tightening around your waist as he pulls you to him, groaning lowly in his throat as he licks into your mouth. You shiver in his grasp, finally tasting him properly after so long as you whimper and whine into his mouth.
âAemond,â you gasp as you finally part from him, mewling as he immediately trails kisses down your jaw, âWhatââ
âSeems I can never deny you for very long, sweetling,â he huffs, halfway laughing as he guides you over to the large table, pulling you up by the waist until youâre sitting on the cool stone table, your legs bracketing his trim waist, âIâve missed you too, my love.â He confesses, sweeping a lock of hair from your shoulder before trailing kisses up across your neck and jaw, one hand already desperately pulling up the bottom of your gown.
You huff out small moans and whimpers, relishing his warm touch. His nimble fingers finally manage to undo the knot at the front of your smallclothes and he tugs them down quickly, leaving you bare for him under your skirts as they fall to a pile on the floor just beside his chair at the table.Â
âHusband,â you pant, tugging at the drawstrings at the top of his trousers, âPlease, please do not make me beg today, Iââ Your train of thought is cut off as a moan, louder than it should be given the location, tears itself from your throat when you feel his long fingers ghost over your center.
âShh, darling,â Aemond grins as he feels your arousal immediately coat his fingers, a pleased hum emanating from deep in his chest as he feels it already coating the insides of your thighs as well, âI donât have the patience to restrain myself today, sweet one,â he mutters, watching your face carefully as he spreads your folds and teases your entrance with a finger before carefully sliding it in, groaning with satisfaction at the feel of your walls already tightly clamping down on it, âNor the time.â He adds with a slight smirk, pale hair cascading like a curtain down his shoulders as he leans his forehead against yours.Â
âOh, Gods,â you whimper, eyes fluttering shut as your hands white knuckle the dark leather of his tunic, too uncoordinated with lust to manage the ties on his pants, âM-My love, more please!â You whisper, angling your hips to try and catch another of his fingers.Â
You hear him chuckle above you before he pulls his finger from you, smirking as you whine pitifully at the loss. Before you have a chance to protest, he quickly undoes his trousers, not bothering to pull them down at all and opting to merely loosen the laces at the front enough to free his cock. Your eyes widen as you watch his hand stroke over his length momentarily, taking in the way it already throbs in his grasp, the head flushed and leaking from merely having you in his hands once more.
âReady, sweetling?â He asks, gently tilting your chin up as he captures your lips in a sweet kiss, his other hand positioning his length at your entrance.Â
You part from him and nod eagerly, widening your legs and angling your hips, âIâve been ready for you for weeks, Aemond.âÂ
He smiles softly, pressing one more kiss against your neck before finally pressing into you, growling as he sinks into your slick heat. âSeven,â he grunts, cradling the back of your head with one hand as his other slinks down to grab at your hip, âYou feel better every time, sweetling.â
You moan hotly against his shoulder, sinking your teeth into the thick leather of the shoulder of his tunic in an attempt to quiet yourself. Your eyes squeeze shut at the feel of him sliding into you, filling you to the brim perfectly. Youâve been without him for so long that he feels enormous, your walls aching as he stretches you out, pressing in and in until heâs finally seated fully within you.Â
Without another word, Aemond started thrusting into you, slow at first but quickly picking up the pace with every firm roll of his hips into you. After only a moment, heâs already grunting like a madman into your ear, holding you to him even as you cling tightly to his shoulders yourself, your legs wrapped loosely around his waist.Â
You feel a fire building in your belly at a breakneck pace as he ruts into you, the hand on your hip no doubt leaving fingerprint bruises across your skin, even through the fabric of your gown. If the low groans from your husband are any indication, he isnât doing much better. He threads his fingers through your hair, pulling you into a desperate kiss, teeth and tongues clashing together frantically as if the two of you are trying to fall into each other, to become one.Â
âMy love, Iâ,â he pants against your lips, jerking your head back by the grip he has on your locks. His eye meets yours, the light lilac almost entirely eclipsed by his pupil as he stares at you hungrily, âItâs been so long, I donât know how long I can last.âÂ
His breath is warm as it fans over your lips and you nod dazedly, zings of pleasure radiating up your spine from Aemondâs grip in your hair only adding to the warmth quickly threatening to overtake you. âItâs okay,â you swallow thickly, eyes already rolling back with pleasure, âI canât either.âÂ
Nodding in return, he picks up the pace, the head of his cock rutting against the most sensitive spot within you hard enough to make you see stars. He hasnât even needed to tease your pearl and youâre already nearly unraveling as Aemond mumbles nearly incoherent praises, the hand on your hip traveling lower, nearly cupping your ass.Â
Just as youâre about to warn him of your inevitable release, muffled voices sound from behind the thick wooden doors that lead into the Small Council chambers. Aemond slows within you as both of your heads swivel to the doors â just in time to hear the guards stationed outside begin to tug them open.Â
You freeze, eyes widening as the doors open, seemingly in slow motion. Thankfully, your husband moves quickly enough for the both of you, nimbly scooping you into his arms before hastily dropping down into his chair, hurriedly scooching it forward until both of your laps are hidden under the stone surface of the table, before kicking your smallclothes under the table at the last second.Â
Your head whips around to face Aemond and you give him a panicked, wide-eyed look just as people start filing into the room, unaware that youâre still being split open by your husbandâs length. One hand, still on your hip, tightens, silently commanding you to be still as his lilac eye pleads the same; his other hand is already poised on the table, relaxed against the cool surface as if he doesnât have a care in the world.Â
âYes, yes, we must certainly ask him once heâs back in Kingâs Landing,â Lord Tylandâs voice fills the chamber as he walks in, engaged in a conversation about something or other with Lord Corlys, the two sharing a laugh before finally taking notice of you and Aemond, âPrince, princess.â Tyland bows his head at the two of you with Corlys following soon after.Â
You sit frozen atop your husband, gazing blankly at the two men without a word. Thankfully, Aemond has the presence of mind to bow his head politely, though he stays quiet. As they walk further into the room, you can only see Tyland and Corlys from the corner of your eye but you donât miss the odd look they share, silently asking each other why you were present and certainly why you were sitting on Aemondâs lap. Blood rushes to your head so quickly you feel lightheaded, your cheeks stinging as a harsh blush quickly appears on your face from their attention.Â
Maester Orwyle files through the doorway next, doing a double take at you and Aemond before bowing his head, a gesture that you thankfully remember to return this time as you stiffly nod your head. Thankfully, the older man simply takes a seat at his place at the table without any comment, though you can hear the two other men speaking quietly in the corner of the room, throwing glances your way as they do.Â
Your walls tighten around Aemondâs length as the rest of you tenses up when Larys creeps in, leaning against his cane as he moves; Aemond thighs tense underneath you as you hear him suck in a breath, only slightly more hasty than normal â the hand in your hip tightens, warning you to keep it together.Â
âPrince Aemond, princess,â Larys nods as he approaches the table, âTo what do we owe the pleasure of such⊠intriguing company?â He questions, tilting his head as he narrows his eyes ever so slightly, his eyes bouncing between you and Aemond.Â
Your head spins as you stare straight ahead, willing yourself to respond, to say anything, to appear somehow normal. Yet, nothing comes out as your center throbs uselessly around Aemond, your head cloudy with need as your eyes stare ahead blankly, though registering just enough to pick up on the small smirk playing at the corners of Larysâs lips.Â
âMy wife appears to have taken ill this morning,â Aemond drawls from over your shoulder while affectionately petting your waist, a gesture entirely for show, a lie to placate the men in the room, but it comforts you nonetheless. He clears his throat before continuing, the only tell thus far that your warmth around him is affecting him at all, âMy presence brings her great comfort, I see no reason why she should be without it.âÂ
âI see,â Larys hums in response, his dark eyes sweeping over your form, sparkling ominously as if he knows the truth, âWhat shame, let us hope the Gods grant you reprieve from thisâŠillness soon, princess.âÂ
âYes!â You finally squeak, snapping back to attention as Aemond just barely squeezes your side, âYes, letâs hope so. Thank you, Lord Larys.â You breathe, managing a smile small.Â
You shift on your husbandâs lap and immediately you know youâve made a mistake as the head of his cock prods directly into that overly sensitive patch within you, nearly making you topple over on the spot as a small groan escapes you. Blessedly, you have enough presence of mind to cover it up with a cough, sparks jolting down your back as Aemond presses a soft kiss to your cheek, one of his hands coming up to rub soothing circles against the back of your shoulder.Â
âThere, there, sweetling,â he says softly, again, entirely for show as you put on your best performance, âOnce the meeting is over, we will have the servants make some tea for you, that will help with that cough.â Even if it was for show, you couldnât help but shiver at Aemondâs low voice, at how heâs being so soft and caring with you. That, combined with the incessant prodding to your sweet spot, has you throbbing around him, your heart hammering in your chest. You can hear Aemond suck in another barely there gasp behind you, a groan low enough to remain silent rumbling against your back while at the same time his hand almost imperceptibly twitches on the table; his composure makes you feel all the more lightheaded, blushing somehow deeper at the fact that heâs taking you apart this easily without so much as moving a muscle. Your thighs trembled atop his lap, the insides already sticky with your arousal as you struggled to stay still, silently thanking the Gods that at least your laps were hidden.Â
âIâm sorry,â Corlys began, striding over from his spot in the corner with a sheepish look, âI really feel I must speak up, this is really most unusual.â He finishes through an awkward laugh, Tyland following closely behind him as they saddle up to the table.Â
âWhat is most unusual?â Alicent asks, entering the Small Council chambers with Otto, followed closely after by Aegon and Ser Criston. Her eyes sweep over the room, pausing when she sees you, though she quickly corrects herself with a soft smile. âAh, my dear,â she nods hello to the various men in the room before sitting at the table, âMay I ask why your wife joins us, Aemond?â She peers at him curiously, throwing a nervous glance at Aegon who is smirking far too much for her liking as he slinks up to the table.Â
âIt seems the princess has fallen ill, your grace,â Larys answers quickly, slyly smiling as he turns to face the dowager queen, âPrince Aemond insisted she stay so that she may beâŠcomforted.â You quickly look away from him as his eyes meet yours once again, piercing through you as though he can see directly through your gown.Â
âYes, which is most odd,â Tyland butted in, throwing glances between you, Aemond, Alicent, and Aegon, âShe is not a member of the council, she should not be present. Surely there is some way the princess could be comforted that does not involve being privy to government matters.â
Aemond stays silent behind you, glaring daggers at Aegon over your shoulder, watching carefully as he traipses over to the table and stands at its head, his eyes never straying from his brotherâs as they stare one another down. The other members, some reluctantly, take their places at the table as well, each of them standing so long as Aegon does, though you and Aemond remain seated; your eyes never stray from the marbled surface of the table.
âAemond, please,â Otto sighs from his place next to you, âThe least you and the princess could do is stand forââ
âI see him everyday,â Aegon interjects, breaking eye contact with your husband as he rolls his eyes, âI donât give a shit if the fool stands.â
Your eyes dart up at that, shocked that Aegon isnât taking the chance to thoroughly humiliate Aemond by putting him on the spot. The kingâs violet eyes meet yours, sparkling with a mischief that makes your center flutter around your husbandâs length â Aegonâs smirk grows as if he knows exactly what just happened. A thin sheen of sweat makes you feel clammy as Aemondâs cock twitches inside of you, pushing him against your sweet spot all the more.Â
âVery well,â Alicent swiftly cuts in, determined to keep the peace, âShall we get stââ
âAre we really going to allow for the presence ofââ Corlys starts, only to be viciously cut off.
âShe stays,â Aegon says flatly, shooting a bored look at the man, âIf anyone has an issue with the princessâs presence they may take their leave.â His violet eyes pass over the room, almost daring anyone to move. Everyone remains still, though you can feel Tyland and Corlys glaring at the side of your head, and after a moment, Aegon takes his seat followed by everyone else; blessedly, the meeting finally begins.Â
The Small Council meeting drones on and on, with various conversations of coin and ships, concerns abroad in Essos, and other diplomatic matters that mean nothing to you. In the back of your mind, you know itâs hardly been any time at all but it feels like an eternity has passed with Aemondâs hard length still piercing into you, twitching against your pulsing walls every so often. A part of you wonders if he does it on purpose, gives you just enough stimulation to cruelly tease you before going stock still once more.Â
The small, unnoticeable to everyone but you, hitches of his breath tell you otherwise and deep down, you know heâs just as affected as you, no doubt steadily leaking into you, though you dare not consider the thought for very long.Â
âAemond,â your breath catches in your throat as Otto directs his attention to your husband, everyone else's gaze quickly following, âAny further communications from Dorne?â
Behind you, your husband clears his throat and you feel him shift beneath you, sitting up slightly straighter in his seat, both hands now clasping your waist to keep you steady on top of him. âNegotiations with the Dornish remain stagnant,â he begins as you practically wilt on his lap, the added attention from the council members making the knot in your belly tighten in a way you shudder to consider, âWe received a raven from Prince Qoren some days ago rejecting any dealings with the crown, no matter the amount of coin we have to offer.â He finishes, pointedly looking at Tyland, who proceeds to butt in.
As soon as the attention shifts off of the two of you, itâs like the air around Aemond changes, becoming charged all of a sudden as you feel his chest heave against your back. At the other end of the table, Tyland begins to raise his voice, debating hotly with Corlys and Otto, drawing the attention of everyone else to them.Â
âDo you think you can be still?â Aemond whispers, his breath hot against your ear although his voice is barely audible even to you. He must sense you freeze on his lap as the hand on your hip begins to move slowly, dragging your skirts up your legs until his hand can slip underneath them, making you tremble as he grips the soft skin of your thigh, âTighten around my cock if you can be still.â
Against your better judgment, you do as he says, tensing as you clench your walls around him; his only reply is a low growl against your back. He stays still for a moment, trying with all of his might to appear as if heâs taking great interest in the ongoing argument taking place.Â
Finally, once heâs positive everyone is too preoccupied arguing over coin to pay attention to either of you, his deft fingers slip through your folds before finally twirling against your aching pearl.Â
You have to bite harshly at the inside of your cheek to keep quiet, trying to keep your breathing steady as you focus on not moving even though you so badly want to rut your hips against his fingers as they rub against you.Â
Aemond swallows thickly behind you as he slowly circles his fingers, careful to keep his pace light and steady to not stir up any slick sounds from your wet cunt, though he longs to hear them.Â
Your elbows rest against the top of the table, your hands clasped tightly in front of you. The conversation around you seems to shift as Otto begins prattling on about some Tyrell woman finally being with child. Aemondâs fingers suddenly pinch at your sensitive bud and a gasp tumbles past your lips before you can stop it, drawing everyoneâs attention.Â
âIs everything alright, princess?â Alicent questions from across the table, her dark eyes narrowed with concern.Â
You nod quickly, coughing to conceal a moan as you open your mouth to answer her, âY-Yes, Iâm sorry,â you apologize with a weak smile, âIâm just so pleased for the Tyrells, what a j-joyous time this must be for them.â You say quickly, stumbling over the words as your core clenches tightly around your husbandâs cock, his small touches driving you steadily to your peak despite the circumstances.Â
Alicent gives you a curious look before quickly collecting herself, âYes, Iâm sure the family is quite thankful, children are always such a blessing,â she smiles politely before turning back to her father, âPlease, continue.âÂ
Ottoâs voice hardly reaches your ears as he picks up where he left off, though you donât miss the horribly put out looks you garner from Tyland and Corlys.Â
Aemondâs fingers just barely speed up as they swirl over your bud, though the small change is enough to drive you wild and you can feel the way his chest heaves against your back as your walls twitch around his length, threatening to milk his cock dry without him having to move an inch.Â
The heat that has slowly been building within you finally begins to bubble over and your husbandâs fingers show no signs of stopping as he pushes you closer and closer to your breaking point. The hand of his that has been resting idly on the table top comes over to casually rest against your clenched hands and rubs soothingly up and down your forearm, Aemondâs silent way of telling you he knows youâre close.Â
Your eyes flick around the room as you feel your peak threatening to spill over you, frantically checking for any onlookers at the last possible second. You nearly jump out of your skin as your eyes finally land on Aegon, only to find him already staring at you, an amused smirk plastered across his face as he studies you.Â
Aemond chooses that exact second to pinch at your pearl again and the small touch is your undoing. Your teeth bite down firmly on your tongue as your walls pulse rhythmically around your husbandïżœïżœïżœs leaking cock, your eyes still locked on Aegonâs violet ones, now darkened with lust.Â
Your muscles tense up as you peak helplessly, waves of pleasure lighting up every nerve ending within you. Somehow, you find it within yourself to remain quiet and still on Aemondâs lap as your eyes finally flick away from his older brotherâs and you gaze, apparently absentmindedly, at some point on the wall on the opposite side of the room as your high subsides.Â
Thankfully, Aemond takes pity on you and slips his hand away, his wet fingers resting gently in your bare thigh, still underneath your gown.Â
You slowly come down from your high as the Small Council winds down, Aegon and Otto quickly discussing a few final points before the king formally adjourns the meeting. Tyland and Corlys practically bolt from their chairs, quickly bowing before they exit as they mumble between themselves, no doubt about the displeasure of your presence.Â
Otto and Maester Orwyle take their leave soon after, each bowing politely. Aegon busies himself at the head of the table, leaning back in his chair as he lazily sips from his wine cup, the gleam in his eyes making you shiver.Â
Across the room, Alicent and Larys whisper between themselves. Strangely, your mother-in-law blushes, shaking her head suddenly and mumbling a quiet, âNot here,â before glancing around the room.
Larys merely shrugs, turning to you as he shuffles from the room, âDo get better soon, princess.â He says with a feeble bow, although the look on his face makes you blush heavily.Â
At that, Alicent turns to Aegon, âWould you care to come see the children with me?â
âGo on,â he dismisses her before nodding toward you and Aemond, âI wish to have a word with my brother.â He catches your eye with a quick wink.Â
âOf course,â Alicent mutters, glancing curiously between the three of you, âIâll ask the maids to bring some tea to your chambers this evening, princess. They make a wonderful lemon one that always seems to lift my spirits.â She says with a kind smile, coming around to place a comforting hand on your shoulder before she too heads to the door.Â
âThank you!â You breathily call after her, voice squeaking at the end as Aemond shuffles impatiently beneath you, his cock still prodding against your sensitive walls.Â
Aegon chuckles darkly as soon as the doors close once more, standing from his chair with a wide smirk. âI must say, Iâm impressed,â he taunts, eyes glinting as he looks between you and his brother, âI didnât think either of you had that much gaul in you.âÂ
âWhat exactly are you tittering about now?â Aemond asks lowly behind you, his voice rough and choppy as his patience clearly wears thin.Â
Sniggering, Aegon saunters around to stand beside you, violet eyes scanning over your laps still concealed under the table, âYouâve had your cock in her the whole time, have you not?â He teases, laughing harder still as Aemond merely hums in response, âCome brother, you should be proud of yourself,â he clasps a hand over your husband's shoulder, âShe was nearly falling apart when she peaked.â He comments with a final wink as he ambles to the door, stopping to throw one last amused look over his shoulder, âYou might want to do something about that bite mark on your shoulder.â He says casually before slamming the doors closed behind him.Â
At his comment, you whirl around and your eyes grow wide as you spy a clear impression of your teeth marks in the leather of Aemondâs tunic, on his shoulder where youâd bitten down earlier. Your cheeks heat up at the thought of it being there throughout the entire meeting.Â
You donât have long to dwell on the thought though as your husband roughly pushes you from his lap until youâre bent over the table, cheek pressed to the cool stone surface. âSeven!â You sequel as he unceremoniously shoves his cock back inside you, his hips pumping wildly as his hands grasp at your waist harshly, no doubt leaving bruises.Â
âFucking finally,â he grunts, eyeing the way his cock disappears into your slick heat as he bunches your gown up over your ass, ââM not gonna last.â He warns lowly, already panting with the speed of his thrusts.Â
Your head spins once again as his cock moves within you, his pace nearly bruising. Your teeth sink into the skin of your forearm as you desperately try to keep quiet, another peak already welling up within you.Â
Aemond growls and quickly threads the fingers of one hand through your hair, making you whine loudly as he pulls your head back until his chest is once again pressed against you, his other hand coming to rub against your abused pearl once more.Â
âAemond!â You moan, shaking your head in his grasp, one hand braced against the table as the other grabs at his forearm, feeling his muscles twitch as his fingers swirl against your center, âP-Please, I cannot keep myself quiet, I know I canâtââ You start babbling.Â
âLet them fucking hear,â he growls, eye squeezing shut as he feels his stones tightening up, âThe whole keep can listen for all I fucking care, I wonât be stopping this time.âÂ
Your eyes roll back in your head at his words, never having heard him sound this possessed and overcome with pleasure before. After only a few more thrusts, you feel your walls twitch once more, a loud gasp rattling through your chest, âH-Husband, Iâmâ!â
âThatâs it,â Aemond groans, redoubling his efforts against your pearl as he continues to rut into you at a nearly inhuman pace. âPeak, sweetling,â he commands, his voice low and raspy in your ear, âPeak while I breed your precious cunt.âÂ
His words nearly take your breath away and you whine loudly as another high washes over you, your walls milking your husbandâs cock as they clench and pulse against it.Â
Behind you, Aemond groans lowly, grunting as his cock twitches strongly inside you, his thick seed flooding into your heat as he finally, finally peaks, the pleasure of it making him dizzy as he leans against your back, forehead pressed between your shoulder blades.Â
The two of you are quiet for a moment, your tired pants the only sounds in the chambers. Finally, Aemond untangles his fingers from your hair, both of his hands coming to rest against the cool table as he finally pulls his cock from your center, soothing you with soft shushes when you whine, the emptiness in your core such a foreign feeling after being filled for so long.Â
He sinks into his chair once more and pulls you with him, wrapping a protective arm around your waist as you rest your head on his shoulder. Once your breathing is steady, you pick your head up, a displeased groan tumbling from your throat as you see your bite mark more clearly up close, a finger coming up to trace over the intents in the black leather.Â
âIâll need to send this to the seamstress for repairs,â you whisper with an apologetic sigh, âI believe this is beyond my ability to fix.âÂ
Aemond chuckles beneath you, lilac eye gleaming with pride as he clasps a hand over yours as it still rests on his shoulder, âDonât trouble yourself with it, my love.âÂ
âWhat?â You question, smiling despite the way you tilt your head in confusion, âAemond, I cannot fix it myself and Iâm afraid the mark will not simply go awayâ,âÂ
âYou misunderstand me, sweetling,â he says, smiling as he looks down at you, âI intend to keep it as a mark of great pride. I shall wear it as a trophy for all to see.â He explains with a teasing laugh.Â
You playfully smack a hand against his chest, which only makes him laugh harder, âYou canât be serious!â You admonish with a wide smile.
âWhy? I simply wish to remember this day,â he chuckles, âThe day I made my sweet wife peak in front of the Gods and everyone.âÂ
âAemond!â You cannot help the surprised laugh that leaves you, âYouâre as disgusting as your brother!â
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His sweet girl
Summary: Aemond catches feelings for one of the girls at the brothel and his brother, Aegon, almost ruined everything
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x ocf!reader
Warnings: emotionally constipated Aemond, cunt Aegon, implied smut, lactation kink if you squint, fluff
Word count: 2.1k
A/N: Hello everyone, I'm Rosie and this is my first fic ever
Likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated, feel free to give me advices or suggestion, just be polite
English is NOT my first language, so apologies if there are any mistakes
Gif credits: @aegonx
Enjoy đ«¶đ»
Aemond doesnât know exactly when se became so important to him.
One night he went to the brothel for his usual service, the last weeks has been hectic, everything was overwhelming, his fatherâs death, Aegonâs coronation and Lukeâs death, so he had to find a way to release the stress that it wasnât training with ser Criston Cole.
So, when he arrived at the pleasure house, he thought that Madame Sylvi was waiting for him like she usually did for the last weeks, instead, one of the servants informed him that Madame was unavailable for that night, but that she had chosen another girl that would satisfy him as much as she did.
Hearing those words, made him want to turn around and leave, not comfortable with the idea of opening himself with a different woman than the one he was used to, yet something inside of him didnât want to leave, he thought that if Madame Sylvi has personally chosen this girl, then maybe he shouldâve give it a shot and try, see how it was.
After all, she knew him and his needs, especially with all the times they laid together, so he decided to trust her judgement, and let the servant guiding him to the secluded area prepared for him.
Once he moved the curtain, he found a girl, no more than few years older than him, laying on the bed, surrounded by pillows and candles: she was wearing a sheer robe, her hair down, thick and long dark locks were covering her, in her eyes an expression he was having a hard time to decipher, a mix of excitement and fear.
She was staring at him, taking her time to admire the beautiful and stoic man in front of her, he was exactly as the girls at the brothel and the small folk described him: his long silver hair, his purple eye, his fierce aura, he was a mesmerising sight.
As he approached her, he thought that he never saw her before at the brothel, he was trying to remember her small face but he simply couldnât so he figured that she might be a new addiction there, yet if Sylvi chose her specifically, this means she wasnât someone new.
He started to undress slowly, taking his time to look at the girl in front of him, her appearance was pleasant, she wasnât exactly what he was searching, but she still had something magnetic in herself, she had a soft body, with plump breasts and wide hips, her body was different from the one of Madame, yet she still had something comforting that made him at ease right away.
She stood up, taking few steps and stopping in front of him, slightly bowing her head âgood evening, my prince, Madame Sylvi apologise that she canât serve you tonight, but she thought I might be a good enough substitute for you tonightâ.
She extended a hand for him, which he took after few moments of silent, noticing how small it was compared to his, slowly walking him to the bed in the middle of the room.
âIâve never saw you before, when did you start working here?â, he asked, curious to see if his assumption was correct
âOh, I donât exactly work here, my prince. My father sold me to Madame when I was a child and she thought I was too young to work here, so she kinda raised me like a daughter, usually I stay upstairs or I serve refreshments, I only work when she specifically asks me toâ
So, she wasnât a whore, not entirely at least, and this awakened something inside of him, he started wondering how many men she slept with, how many she pleased, if she was indeed able to please him as she said.
âDid you sleep with many men before? Are you sure you can serve me properly, child?â
âNot many men, but Iâm sure youâll be very satisfied my prince, and if you donât trust my words, trust Madameâs judgementâ
And so he did, and while he was thrusting inside her soft and warm flesh, he thought how different she was than Sylvi, how tight and wet she was, how her whimpers and moans were shy, how full she was making him feel.
He stayed there after he came, his head placed on her soft breasts, her hands caressing his hair and forehead, their breaths steady, her heartbeat calming, he felt well, satisfied with her service, his thoughts and troubles away for the time she was embracing him.
He told her about his worries, about his dreams, and what shocked him the most, was that she wasnât afraid to tell him what she was thinking: she spoke calmly, without fear, but still in a respectful manner, not wanting to disrespect him nor his family, it was a rare thing, usually people lie to him or tells him half truth in order to not upset him, Sylvi included.
When he came back evenings after, he hoped to find her again, and he was slightly disappointed to see that Sylvi was waiting for him and not her once again.
Madame realised it too, she could feel a shift in his behaviour, at first thinking it was because of everything it was happening with the war and his family, but when he asked her where she was, her doubts became certainty.
âYou donât want my services anymore, my prince?â, she asked as they laid together after their highs, his head on her lap, curled up like a babe.
âIs not that, I like you and you help me a lot, but it was different with her, she understands me, she is not afraid to tell me the truth and actually gives me advises, she listens carefully and tells me what she thinks, it is a rare thing nowadays, everyone too scared to offend me and have me lose my patience
Thatâs why I want her to serve me from now on, you were good to me, but I think I found a better matchâ.
Sylvi wasnât too pleased about this decision, she enjoyed the evenings with the prince, he treated her with respect, making her feel desired and appreciated, but he was still a prince, and if he didnât want her services anymore, she had to accept it and move on, at the end of the day, he was still a paying costumer like everybody else, and her last goal was to please him, whether it happened personally or not.
Aemond kept going to the brothel almost every night, gently fucking her and then laying on the bed, his head on her chest, talking about his days, about his dysfunctional family, his plans for the war, and she stayed there, listening to him and caressing his head, and when he wasnât talking, he was listening to her, talking about the books she was reading or about something she did that day, his lips sucking on one of her nipples lazily, eyes closed, eyepatch discharged somewhere on the bed, hand kneading the soft flesh of her hips.
He loved those moments, he felt at peace, somehow invincible, wondering if he will ever feel like this with another woman, but deep down knowing that no noble woman would be so understanding of him, especially not his betrothed.
It was during one of these nights that his brother, Aegon, had found him, ruining the only good thing he had in his life, Vhagar excluded.
They were there, entangled after their highs, the comfort of her arms making him feel so well, when his drunk brother opened the curtain, revealing himself to him and his mates, not wasting a second to humiliate him.
Aemond immediately got up, sitting there, looking somewhere on the floor, trying to steady his breath, listening to his brother rambling about him âfucking her like a houndâ, watching her trying to cover herself for the embarrassment, shielding her body from his brotherâs eyes.
He decided to leave, being too angry and humiliated, his brother rambling about searching for Madame to âmake a man out of one of the white cloaksâ but he found a better amusement after he saw his brother there
âYou can have her, brother, one whore is as good as anotherâ he said before taking his leave, the look of disappointment and heartbreaking in her face.
He couldnât sleep that night, he kept seeing her disappointed face over and over again.
He knew he hurt her, that she had no fault for what happened, his brother was a drunken cunt, and she had to suffer the consequences for his stupid actions.
For days he contemplated about going there and apologise, explaining that he was not expecting for his brother be there, that he hasnât gone to the brothel in years and he thought it was a safe space for him, away from his brotherâs mess, yet he couldnât do it, he couldnât go there, relieving the memory of that night again.
In the end he decided to go, he was longing her touch, her softness, her sweetness, ha had to admit to himself (with an enormous amount of strength) that he needed her, so he went there one morning, when he knew anyone wouldâve gone there and disturb them.
As he walked the street of silk, he kept thinking about what he wanted to tell her, trying to find the words to explain to her that he was sorry, that he understood if she didnât want to be with him ever, but that he was still hoping for her forgiveness, since she knew how complicated his relationship with his brother was.
He knocked on the door, Sylvi opening it as he thought, looking at him hostilely
âWhat are you doing here, my princeâ
âYou know what Iâm doing here, I want to speak with herâ
âYou hurt her, deeply, I donât know if she wants to see youâ
âJustâŠjust ask her, please? I will leave if she does not want to speak with meâ
Madame Sylvi looked at him one last time, before moving towards the rooms upstairs, allowing him to enter the brothel.
She came back a while back, telling him that he can go talk to her, but also to be quick, she didnât want to give him too much time, she was very hurt by his actions.
He went upstairs, anxious and excited, wanting nothing more than explaining to her, his heart beating fast and hard in his chest at the thought of seeing her sweet face again.
His sweet girl, sited on the bed, a book between her hands, looking beautiful with the sun light, certainly different from the candlelight he was used to
âGood morrow, I know my visit isâŠunexpected, but I had to come, I had to talk to youâ
âGood morrow, talk then, but make it quick, I will have to get ready for work soon, I have clients to take care ofâ
âClients? I thought you werenât fully working at the brothel, I donât understandâ
âAfter what happened that night, your brotherâs guard told everyone how good I was, so a lot of men asked for me and Madame couldnât refuse them, so now I work full timeâ
âIâm sorry, sweet girl, I really am, I didnât want to treat you in such a wayâ he walked towards her, sitting slowly on the bed besides her, taking her hands on his and leaving some kisses on them âI swear I wish I said something that night, but my pride took the best of me; my brother was there, mocking me like he did when we were children, I couldnât stay any longer.
Forgive me, sweet girl, youâre the only one I didnât wish to hurt that night, yet youâre the one who suffered for my lack of temperamentâ
She stayed there, their hands still entwined, listening to his pleadings, wondering what was the best thing to do, reminding herself that he hurt her deeply, but also that he loved this man so much, that she couldnât stay away from him any longer.
She kissed him while he was still talking, needing to feel his lips on hers once again, his hands on her once again, his cock deep inside her, feeling her to the brim with his seed, making her his and his only.
As he thrusts inside her, hips snapping, his hands kneading the soft flesh of her hips, they never felt so good in their life, so at peace, so happy.
They kissed and bit and marks each other, and in Aemondâs mind, the only thought was that she was his and he wasnât going to let any man take her from him, the only good thing in his life.
She was his sweet girl, only his.
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