#this has kept me awake thinking of this exact scenario bc its so funny to me

[eggcats]

Bowuigi fic where Bowser kidnaps Luigi to get leverage - either to keep Mario from interrupting his plans and/or force Peach to accept his marriage proposals. Something like that.

BUT before he can say this, when Mario arrives he goes "BOWSER YOU CANNOT DATE-A MY BROTHER!" bc his pure himbo energy just decided that CLEARLY Bowser has kidnapped Luigi for the same reasons he kidnaps Peach. Obviously.

AND before Bowser can correct him, LUIGI yells "AND-A WHY NOT?!! YOU CANNOT TELL-A ME WHO I'M ALLOWED TO DATE!!"

Cue Mario and Luigi vehemently arguing amongst each other about this, while Bowser stands there very confused in the background. ("I'm allowed to make-a my own decisions!" "It's-a BOWSER you can do so much-a better!!" "I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE")

Luigi wasn't even planning on deciding to accept Bowser's proposal (both brothers have a single braincell and they think 'Bowser kidnaps you = he wants to marry you', neither even think that there could be a secondary reason, lol) BUT he's a little brother and the SECOND Mario says he can't do something he has to. It's the little brother energy in him.

Bowser at this point doesn't even know how to correct them without it coming off awkward for EVERYONE involved. He TRIES but when he says that's not it, Mario is like "Bowser, you-a KIDNAPPED him" and that's kind of hard to argue the semantics. Especially now that Peach has arrived and is congratulating him for moving on??? (WHEN DID SHE ARRIVE AND WHY?!)

Bowser isn't sure how it happened but he's pretty sure he's dating Luigi now and he doesn't know where to go from this. He goes back to his castle and tries to talk about it to Kamek to get some advice on how to fix this situation, but all KAMEK says is "You DID kidnap him, sire."

They wind up getting married.

(Kamek knew this wasn't the original plan but he decided it was both funny enough and a good way to get him to stop kidnapping a princess who had no interest in him that he just decided to go with it. It worked out so he considers it a win.)