#this has got to be my most indulgent gifset since that time i giffed a 2018 jeno vlive

[ambivartence]

🗣 puppy bear hangyul capture time ❗️❗️

bonus flippity flappity:

[leopardom]

Random questions that came to my mind: What has been your favourite moment(s) from the american vlogs so far? Is there a gifset you made in particular that you like the most? Which pairing (friendshipwise or different) do you like the most? Anything you wish would be asked in an interview because you really want to know about it?

And I guess if I ask for any gifs of Alex Mattson I will be beheaded, so I will go now.

okay this is gonna be long so brace yourself 👀

• What has been your favourite moment(s) from the american vlogs so far?

this one:

okay jokes aside my favourite moments in every vlog are the tourbus mayhem ones and that’s basically why i keep making gif sets about that 😂 then you can guess that another favourite is this:

and this:

and of course the moment in the latest vlog where Joonas said they’re gonna do the LA gig for Aleksi since he was sick and he couldn’t be there 😭

• Is there a gifset you made in particular that you like the most?

i have a couple in mind like the whole BC through the years + music videos series but if i had to pick one i’d probably chose this one because Niko is so damn beautiful in the Bad Idea mv

• Which pairing (friendshipwise or different) do you like the most?

maybe i’m a bit biased because those two are my favourite ones but it’s Joonas/Olli. both friendshipwise and different 😏 idk ever since i watched the third episode of the Life On The Dark Side vlogs (yes, the 🍆 one), the way Joonas talked about Olli being his childhood friend and “truly his bro” got stuck in my head. and every time i see them next to each other in photos or watch their on and off stage shenanigans i just go full uwu because i remember those two sentences from the vlog and their friendship makes my heart so soft 🥺 (now since i’m reading fanfics too, i really like how writers approach this pairing, no matter the context of the stories ☺️)

• Anything you wish would be asked in an interview because you really want to know about it?

this will sound very geeky but i want them to be interviewed about their gear or answer questions that have to do with the recording process of a song (like what software they use, which plugins etc). this is totally self indulgent because i wanna delve more into music technology if i have a chance to apply for a master's in music technology, trust me i'll take it and i enjoyed the music technology courses i took in university so it would be interesting. also i'd be so in if for their 10-year anniversary they did vlogs about their whole career, from the early days til now and those vlogs would include answers to questions asked from fans or just their own comments like in their track-by-track videos. i know the last part has nothing to do with anything i wish they would be asked about in an interview, but it's kiiiinda related i guess??

as for Alex Mattson gifs, i may or may not have had in mind to make some at some point 👀 now you’re giving me a reason to finally do it lmao but it will take some time. so for now, here’s a gif of Alex Mattson in all his fuckboy glory

thanks for coming to my Ted-talk 🙏

[curioussubjects]

Non-jittery Thoughts on 15.01

Alright, had some time too calm the hell down, so I could have thoughts beyond a keysmash and a crying emoji. Chances are, too, that I’ll have more to say once I sit down with the episode again. Had to get these initial reactions/musings out of the way first.

This episode did a bang up job setting up the personal plot points for tfw. I’m super excited to see where this is going: Dean’s hell trauma revisited, Sam’s wound and its connection to his own darkness, Cas still struggling with belonging, Dean and Cas’s continuous wrongfootedness coming to a head. It’s going to be a killer of a season emotionally, and I am Here. For. It. 

Full disclosure: the biggest chunk is destiel related. In my defense, Dabb & co. didn’t have to enable me, but here we are.

More thoughts under the cut. 

General Thoughts:

My hype was not squashed! We got a really strong season opener and I’m so happy about it. Sure, we got running ghosts. But overall the episode was incredible; just a solid SPN episode all around. A+ job and kudos to all involved ♥♥♥

The new title card is gorgeous and full of meta potential goodness. See this post for more on that; op hit it on the head I think. For additional analysis, there’s this post from different op that is killer.

Opening sequence with tfw fighting zombie ghosts and running for shelter? Amazing. Showstopping. Breathtaking. 

Dean’s grief over Jack that’s embroiled in his grief for Mary. Just. “He was our kid.” That’s some complicated shit right there. 

Gotta love all the tidbits hinting at what is to come during 15.a, at the very least, if not the larger goal of the season. Reading y’all’s thoughts on the episode has been great so far, and I can’t wait to see what else crops up this week.

                                                              //

On Sam: Currently, Sam’s role in the more interesting aspects of the plot continue to not quite match Dean’s, which has been a problem for a while. I’m seriously hoping that changes some with Eileen’s return, Rowena coming in with some banter maybe next week, and whatever weird curse Sam got with that bullet wound. I’m loving the potential and I’m loving the prospect of having Sam brought back to the center of the plot. I missed some more emotional involvement from him this episode, too, but that should be addressed once things calm down and Sam and Dean can debrief. However, we got peak Sam in a crisis and it’s always a treat to see him do his job. Bless. Him telling the clown to shut up made my night. I love him so much. 

                                                               //

On Belphegor: First off, Alex did such a fantastic job. I giggled a ridiculous amount. Instantly invested in the character as bringer of shenanigans. Was not disappointed. Quick deliciously meta tidbits about Belphegor, some of which may not feature in the show, but are still *chef’s kiss* (x):

Moabite deity responsible for fertility and sexual power (in case the ep wasn’t clear on that lmao)

was worshiped in the form of a phallus (so glad that made it to canon jfc)

is a fallen angel??? hello???

he’s the demonic embodiment of sloth, BUT specifically negligence and apathy (i am screaming isnt negligence the whole ordeal with dean and cas atm...and apathy was the problem with jack’s soulessness) 

rules misogyny and licentious men (yeah ok no wonder he was a fan of younger dean oof)

the juiciest: emerged from hell to investigate marriage among humans (and is conveniently in the peanut gallery of dean and cas’s fight. funny how that happens. hilarious, even.) 

apparently after living as a man to experience sexual pleasure he was appalled and fled back to hell where sex between men and women wasn’t a thing i’m??? what?? (yet in the show he seemed ok with hot dudes ayy)

I’m glad my “horny on main” observation turned out to be so on point jesus. Can’t help but wonder how long he’s gonna stick around. His outside perspective is amusing, at the very least. However, the fact that he barely interacted with Sam, but was a lot interested in Dean as well as Cas (though to a lesser extent) makes me think that he’s doing more than just deus exing them out of zombies and ghosts or offering hell exposition. Seems like he going to expose SOME OTHER STUFF. ABOUT DEAN (AND CAS?). He is the “Lord of Opening” after all. And isn’t using their words and being honest the thing we’re all waiting for wrt to DeanCas?? There’s some opening up that is necessary posthaste. Listen, I know I’ve been saying they need a marriage counselor, but this is not what I had in mind. Pretty on brand, though, I guess lol

I’m also really interested about the coding work the character is doing in continuing to queer Dean’s characterization. Belphegor being himself associated with (male) sexuality, and the show clearly focusing on his attraction to humans of the man variety. I wouldn’t even call it subtextual at this point as Belphegor’s interaction with Dean in the car to was really overt. My hopes that the show might actually be explicit about Dean’s bisexuality is uhhhh getting high again *confetti.* Should also maybe at least note that using a demon to do this is probs not like the best strategy, but at least said demon was 1. not skeevy and 2. mostly sympathetic to the audience. 

This is all assuming, ofc, that Belphegor is not catfishing tfw (there’s precedence, after all -- and kudos to anon and op for the timely observations). 

                                                                  //

On Dean & Cas: I think it’s really damn telling that so much space was given to their relationship as like the most important thing going on with their characters? Obviously they have individual issues to deal with (their own struggles with Chuck, revisiting Dean’s stint in hell....which btw also eventually involves Cas too so *hands*), but my sweet baby jesus the validation feels good. Onwards. 

We actually have a weird amount to unpack here because, as others have said, the tension between them is coming from more than just Mary and Jack -- though Mary and Jack are absolutely the main stressors atm as well as emblematic of problems they’ve had for a long long time.  

I’m gonna start with Dean because boy do I love that dumbass; I want to shake him. So we have Dean: he’s grieving Mary, he’s angry, he’s scared, he’s lashing out. It’s a Thursday. We know he’s angry with Cas because he blames him for Mary’s death, even if indirectly. You know what that reminds me of? Dean hating Jack for causing Cas’s death, even though it wasn’t directly Jack’s fault. More importantly, though, both the loss of Mary and the loss of Cas were caused by the same catalyst: Cas going off on his own to solve a problem instead of asking Dean (and Sam, but really, mostly Dean) for help. Like, it’s the one thing Dean has very clearly expressed that Cas needs to stop doing (hi 12x19). It’s the same mistake Cas has been making for years. There was a false sense of security there during seasons 13 and most of 14, but alas. Again, here we have Dean losing someone because Cas couldn’t just come ask him for help. Like. It makes sense, and it’s understandable, despite Dean’s coping mechanisms being shit. In short, Dean’s actual problem with Cas is less that Mary is dead and more that Cas refuses to learn his lesson wrt them being stronger as a unit rather than doing their own thing and putting themselves and others in unnecessary danger. 

Meanwhile, we have a continuation of Cas just being really sad and heartbroken because not only is Jack dead, but he’s once again unsure about his standing with Dean. He wants to protect his family, he wants to protect Dean, he wants to come back with a win; once more, he goes off on his own to do it and it blows up in his face somehow. As much as I loved Cas getting mad at the end of last season, I get why he’s somewhat subdued again. He has his guilt and grief and doubt to deal with. He doesn’t want to be mad at Dean probably about as much as he doesn’t want Dean to be mad at him. So far I’m not yet seeing the return of the spark we got when Cas was defending Jack last season, but I’m sure Dean walking out rattled him beyond the hurt. I wanna see what else happens to make him leave “in a huff” (a bit of spec on this further down). That said, what I’m most excited about is seeing how Cas gets reintegrated into the family -- pretty sure that’s universal lol.

The juiciest part now, though: I was all about the interplay of distance and care that we saw between them; let’s pause here for a quick sec to appreciate how that same interplay has been such a central part of Dean and Cas’s relationship since always like ugh. So much of the larger plot points in the show have also been situations that kept them from being truly partners as well as being constant interruptions on their ability to USE THEIR FRIGGIN’ WORDS AAAACK. We give Sam a lot of flack, but everything has awful timing in this show. We’ve had moments of honesty and vulnerability, but they’re always always cut short before we actually get somewhere; before they arrive at a place where they can talk about their issues. If the “are you ok” scene isn’t a perfect microcosm of that idk what is  /sigh

So, yeah, the “Are you ok” scene oooh boy. I wasn’t as excited as some of you at this scene being an example that Dean still cared, as that was never a doubt I had in my mind (it was definitely a yes omg just talk jesus moments nevertheless). Dean couldn’t possibly just turn that shit off, no matter how much he thinks he’s done with Cas. Like, please.  What we do have is Dean indulging on his own need to know that Cas is, at least, immediately fine. Triage, if you will. Him walking off before Cas can either elaborate, or, most likely, tell him about Sam, is peak Dean passive-aggressiveness. The meltdown I had in the tags of a gifset of the scene is still relevant:

 #cas's little sigh of idk relief???#like he's so sad and physically fine but he's SO SAD and heartbroken#and here's dean finally not just being cold to him and ASKING ABOUT HIS WELLBEING#look at cas's face in tht second gif my heart#you can see him gd relax too i cant#and dean has his fucking check in during a break in the chaos face#im so mad#jdhakjsdfhklsd#and then dean just.........walks away and doesnt actually debrief or help or none of the things he would do#and cas is just...there all vulnerable and upset right before he clams up at the demon's quip#but it doesnt even last look at his damn face as he leaves IM SO#somebody hug him#skldjfhklsajdfa#he needs a dean hug#but noooo dean is being a jackass#this is awful#im not ok#i hate it when they fight#im over it that's enough drama dabb i take back everything i said about loving pain

I’ll definitely have more thoughts on this once we have whatever emotional payload next week.

All in all, I’m not actually concerned about the future of their relationship. They’ve been through much, they’ll be fine. I am, though, tickled that we’ll see these key problems in their relationship reach a point where they have to be dealt with. Also: I can’t wait for the catharsis that Cas leaving is bound to elicit. Both for us, the viewers, and the characters. Besides, Dean needs to go to a corner and have a think about his behavior and if pushing Cas away is really what he wants. And then maybe finally we can get that sweet sweet resolution of an affirmation about Cas’s place in Dean’s life. And in turn an affirmation that Cas does trust their family unit enough to depend on them. 

I think we got a good set up in this episode leading into whatever drama we get in the coming weeks. The tension was up to 11. Love it. Hate it. Personally, I think the empty deal might be what does sets off Cas walking out. Somehow, the deal is not a secret anymore. We have here another instance of Cas making a super important decision that affects The Family on his own and then keeping it a secret (to protect Sam and Dean, a pattern). Dean can be angry and think Cas is dead to him all he wants, he will blow tf up when he learns about this deal. Sam isn’t gonna be thrilled either, though he’s more likely to make puppy eyes of sadness and Disappointment than yell at Cas. Seriously, though, I can just see Dean saying some bullshit because he’s just so done and here goes Cas potentially dying again, which in turn will probably piss Cas off. Etc etc. Cue the violins. 

                                                               //

tl;dr: if episode 1 is any indication, we’re in for a wild fucking ride, kiddos. hold onto your butts!!! 

[adoringjensen]

How do you feel about people reblogging your pro-Dean posts to say his current family is shit and nobody deserves him? I think that's unfair. What makes SPN so enjoyable to watch is how human the characters are and Sam and Cas do their best to help him? Why can't everyone see that?

Hey there, anon!

I agree, I do think that’s unfair. However, I realize everyone has their own biases and it’s hard to see things objectively from all points of view. That’s not to say I don’t think things definitely get out of hand sometimes, though. What I don’t like is when someone takes a positive post and adds comments to make it negative. Like,,,, if ur gonna do that just make ur own post. It’s so unnecessary to take over a post like that. When someone makes a positive post about a character,,,, I can 99.999% guarantee they’re not looking for any Discourse™ okay, they just wanna share their love and feel validated by others that feel the same. That kind of thing does happen quite a lot tho, unfortunately. 

Like something that really bothers tHE FUCK outta me is when someone comments on a gifset or something of mine and adds “why didn’t you include [insert character/scene/whatever here]?” or “since you decided to include [scene/character/etc], that means you must think [whatever tf they assume my opinions are].” Just crap like that. fIRST OF ALL. You do realize tumblr limits to 10 photos per post, right?? So I’m limited to what I can include and a lot of factors come into play when I’m choosing the right scenes to gif. I mean, I could put more than one gif into one file to post more at a time, but that requires more effort and time than I’m willing to give tbh. and sECOND OF ALL. Binch, make ur own damn post. Don’t come squandering all over my shit with ur bullshit. At the very least, just put ur dumb commentary in the tags like the rest of us. No need to contradict the op like that. Especially on a gifset, much less a text post. Bc someone actually made that. They took the time to do all that and it just alskdgh bothers the fuck out of me when someone will take something of mine like that and feel like they have to tell me what’s right and wrong about it. Just. Get out. 

Okay I got a little off track there lmao. But I think that if a post is originally just meant to be a positive Dean post, then it’s not really fair to take it over and add a bunch of negativity about other characters around him. I will admit that I can be pretty salty over Dean tho lol. I’m like,,, super protective of him and definitely think he deserves better than what he has. So now and then, I’ll indulge in the Salty for Dean™ side of tumblr dot com when I’m feeling Bitter. But I’ve never been a fan of shitting on other characters for the sake of another. And that’s just bc I don’t particularly like or handle negativity like that very well. Some ppl thrive off of that, and hey that’s totally cool for them. Blowing off some steam like that can make you feel better, but definitely stick to your own posts or commenting in the tags. I don’t think adding negative shit to positive posts is ever an okay thing to do. And I can bet the op probably doesn’t appreciate it, either.

And I do think spn is really enjoyable to watch and is still very popular bc of all the flaws and humanity you see in the characters, yeah. They’re always making a huge mess of things in order to do what they believe is right/most important in the moment. Constantly making these huge sacrifices to save each other and all that. They’re always doing what they think is best, and yeah it’s not always the right decision in the end, but hell. If they can’t fuck up and make mistakes, then what are we doing? What the heck are we learning? Like,,, idk. Do I think the writing can be off and things could’ve been done better, sure. Do I have my problems with the show, god yes. But in the end, it’s still my favorite show and I complain about it bc I love it so much. I feel like after having been in the fandom for so long, you kinda earn the right to be a Grumpy Elder™ about everything lmao. 

It’s infuriating sometimes when others don’t see things the way you do, especially when it seems so fucking obvious to you, right? But. That’s life, my friend. Gotta pick your battles and do what’s best for you. Anyway, I hope this whole thing didn’t get too off track or anything, but I definitely see what you’re saying and I agree. I wish everyone could see that too, but we can only be responsible for ourselves (as difficult that is to remember sometimes) ♥︎

[glassprism]

The Lauri Brons video is big news. I had no idea it existed. Have you watched it yet and if you have, what are your thoughts on her Christine, now that you've got more to judge her on than just her voice? Also, would you mind making a gif-set? I'm intrigued!

I know! I knew it existed because I’d seen a clip and it looked like it was filmed by the master of the other Hamburg videos, but I didn’t expect to get it! (And now I’ve gotten the VOB version, woot.) I’m definitely going to try and get a gifset out, but in the meantime, here’s a review.

To start off, in Hannibal, she did not go en pointe or even demi pointe for that matter, but kind of slid around on flat feet. I guess dancing is not her forte. But she had a good moment in ‘Think of Me’ after M. Reyer slammed the score in her face, where she held out her hand with a plaintive look on her face, like, “No wait, come back...” and she looked and sounded pretty enough.

Her Christine has some Leroux tendencies and reminded me a lot of Anna O’Byrne’s Christine, with a somewhat nervous, jumpy, but still curious and flattered regard towards the Phantom, even as early as ‘Angel of Music’. She looks enraptured even talking about him, which was nice foreshadowing for ‘The Mirror’ scene. She seems to have guessed who Raoul was almost from the beginning and was just waiting for him to confirm it. There was a kind of half-giggling, child-like demeanor to her when she talked to Raoul about the Angel of Music which did put me in mind of two children telling ghost stories to each other, with Nicky Wuchinger coming off as the more mature one who’s happy indulging Christine for a few moments. Still, there were other moments, like the entirety of ‘The Mirror’, where her acting would head in “Sarah Brightman eyes” territory or where she’d start waving her arms a bit too much. This was kind of like that for most of the show, where I liked a lot of how she interpreted the character but kept getting mixed feelings on her acting.

Anyway, I did like how well she reacted to the Phantom in ‘Music of the Night’, sometimes seeming drawn to him (she walked up to him on the portcullis particularly fast, and appeared amazed and joyful at the beauty of his world) and other times moving back (the appearance of the Mirror Bride was a shock to her). She also tended to move in sync with the music, which is a neat idea for Christine but also occasionally resulted in a lot of bodily swaying or bouncing. She was unusually energetic for a Christine in ‘I Remember’, sitting up and stroking the boat edges, gave a lot of gasped screams when the Phantom chased her around, and could not even look at him when he crawled up to her. Again, some subtle Leroux reminders (”He kissed the hem of my dress and did not see that I closed my eyes.”)

She was pretty fearful during the rooftop scenes, practically tearing herself out of Raoul’s grip. Interestingly, she played the “my soul began to soar” bit with fear rather than the enraptured awe I usually see in a Christine. That distressed, jumpy demeanor started appearing again, with her Christine remaining wide-eyed and looking around her for almost the first half of ‘All I Ask of You’; I’m not sure her Christine quite believed what Raoul was saying until he proposed to her. It kind of pushed Raoul to put more effort into convincing and reassuring her, which is not something I see often.

Raoul gave such a loud kiss at the end though. Like, a literal “MWAH” sound.

I need to check if Nicky Wuchinger was the same around the other actresses, but he did seem a little more protective of Christine in the ‘Notes II’ scene, such as gently pulling her away from the managers. Lauri Brons’s Christine, for that matter, did also lay a hand on his arm (while throwing a death glare at Carlotta); it was a nice little bit of communication without words between them. Her Christine also had to be physically pushed back from Carlotta. She had a pretty desperate ‘Twisted Every Way’, even though I thought she could have put her arms down a little more. I also really liked how Nicky Wuchinger was always touching or holding her, though in this scene, it looked like his words were making her flinch rather than being comforting, since he was asking her to be bait. It was a nice touch. She was so twitchy that he ended up saying “Christine, Christine” with an emphasis like he was trying to get her to calm down.

A pretty nice ‘Wishing’ followed, though my favorite was the very beginning of the song, where she really did look lost in memories. She made a pretty sultry Aminta, with an extra skirt swish here and there and a little kick at one point. Unlike Valerie Link, who from what I remember was relatively calm, Lauri Brons was shocked at the Phantom’s proposal and shaking her head throughout. When the Phantom went on (probably choosing to ignore her), I could see her physically preparing herself to unmask him. It might not be the most sympathetic interpretation, but it was realistic and appropriate for her Christine.

Her Christine kind of remained distressed and scared at the beginning of the ‘Final Lair’, especially noticeable when the Phantom starts grabbing and stroking her, which she reacted to with a lot of struggling and crying. There were also moments where she seemed angry not just at the Phantom, but at the entire situation she was stuck in, singing out to the audience instead of the actor. She had a particularly awesome moment too where she stared straight at the Phantom, only a few inches from his face, and made him back down from the sheer force of her death glare. After Raoul was released, both she and Raoul hesitated to leave, but it seemed more out of confusion (”Wait, you’re letting us go?”) then sympathy. She looked a bit sad to leave the Phantom, but otherwise got out of there pretty quick.

Overall, what an interesting performance. There were a number of aspects of her acting I didn’t like, where she really felt like she was “acting” the role and not quite living it, I guess, but she really played up how terrified and disturbed her Christine was and made lots of the blocking and show work to show that. A somewhat Leroux-accurate Christine.

End notes: Lauri Brons looks so much better onstage than she did in some of the official photos (I’ll never understand how those made her look so, well, old.) Nicky Wuchinger was a great Raoul, even though I found his bouncing up and down while in the noose a tad distracting. Rachel Anne Moore had a delightful range of expressions. Michelle van de Ven as the Hannibal princess and others was also a fun background character to watch. And the Hamburg wigs were glorious as ever.