#this has been sitting in WIP limbo for about six years

[invaderdoom78]

This is something I've always kinda wanted to do, because these are both awesome shows. The Fearsome Five and the Air Pirates team up in the search for treasure, and so do Darkwing and Baloo.

"I still don't understand why I have to wear a dress!" Gosalyn grumbled, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she stood in the living room dressed in a black old fashioned dress

"I still don't understand why I have to wear a dress!" Gosalyn grumbled, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she stood in the living room dressed in a black old fashioned dress

"Because, dear, this is a sophisticated party that Mr. McDuck was kind enough to invite all of us to,” Morgana said, fixing Gosalyn’s ponytails

“Is everybody ready?” Launchpad asked walking down the steps, attempting to tie his tie

“Everyone except, dad,” Gosalyn said, taking a seat on one of the revolving chairs

“He said he’ll be down in a minute,” Launchpad said

“Is he trying to bring any of his weapons along?” Morgana asked

“Just his gas gun,” Launchpad said as Drake finally came down from the second floor, fully dressed in his tux

“Well” Morgana mumbled “alright”

“Everyone ready?” Drake asked adjusting his cufflinks

“Yup” Launchpad said as Morgana took a seat on the vacant revolving chair

“We’ll meet you down there,” Morgana said pressing the head of the mouse statue

“Is the Thunderquack loaded with my emergency supplies?” Drake asked once the chairs had finished rotating

“Packed and ready for any emergency!” Launchpad said as he and his partner took a set on the chairs

“Good” Drake said pushing the mouse's head

When the duo got to the crime lair they found that Gosalyn and Morgana were already getting settled in the Thunderquack, waiting for their pilot.

“Oh dear,” Morgana said looking at the clock on the plane's dashboard “we’re going to be late”

"Maybe not," Launchpad said starting up the Thunderquack "depends on how fast we fly"

Once everyone was strapped into their seats the Thunderquack took off into the sky for Cape Suzette. Thankfully for them, or maybe just Gosalyn, Morgana had had the forethought to bring along some travel games to play during the flight.

“Does your person have fangs?” Gosalyn asked looking down at the game on her lap

“No,” Morgana said glancing over at Drake “you’ve been awfully quiet?”

“I don’t like leaving the city unguarded for so long,” Drake said “especially when I know Negaduck is plotting something”

“Jeez,” Launchpad said tapping on the glass covering the gas gauge “looks like we’re runnin’ low on gas” he leaned over to look out the window "that looks like a place we can stop"

“What was that?” Drake asked looking up at the sky above them

"What was what, DW?" Launchpad asked lowering the plane

“I just saw Negaduck's plane!” Drake exclaimed, squishing his face against the glass to try and spot the aircraft again

“I didn’t see anything, Dark darling,” Morgana said leaning forward to look out the window as well “it was probably just the clouds playing tricks on you”

“Yeah, dad,” Gosalyn said “why would they be all the way out here”

“I’m not sure,” Drake said still suspicious, sulking back in his seat

Pushing forward on the wheel Launchpad took the plane down to the dock of the small island. Stopping in front of some gas pumps the crew looked up at the large neon sign that was sticking out of the mountain

“Louie’s” Launchpad read aloud as they all got out of the plane before starting up a conversation with one of the monkeys that were working at the pumps

As the Thunderquack was being worked on Drake, Morgana, and Gosalyn walked into the clubhouse so they could get directions to Cape Suzette to make sure they were heading in the right direction.

"Keen gear!" Gosalyn said taking in the party that was currently going on

"No you don't little missy," Drake said placing a hand on her shoulder "Morgana was nice enough to let you borrow one of her old dresses and I don't want you ruining it"

"Alright" Gosalyn grumbled, pouting a bit

As the three were walking through the club Morgana noticed an orangutang, two bears, one much younger than the other, and a female black panther moving around the bar, looking like they were getting ready to load up a plane. Despite the black fur, the panther had long orange hair that was parted down the middle, black and white stripes running down along both sides of the part in her hair, and pulled back into a ponytail.

"Baloo, man," Louie said as he Baloo, Kit, and the panther moved around some boxes "I can’t tell you guys how much it means that you're givin' me a hand and a ride; or that Sita managed to convince her daddy to hire me to cater this party"

"Well" Sita sighed "if you weren't there then I may need to hang myself in the restroom or throw myself out a window"

"Hey I'll be there," Baloo said feigning offense

"With Becca” Sita chuckled “who'll no doubt be keeping a very close eye on you”

"Excuse me," Morgana said walking over to Baloo "but do you know how to get to Cape Suzette from here?"

"Sure do," Baloo said turning to look at the witch "we're headin' back there ourselves”

“Would you mind if we followed you?” Morgana asked clasping her hands together

“Hey not at all!” Baloo said as Drake and Gosalyn walked over to the bar

“Who you talkin’ to Morgana?” Gosalyn asked hopping up on a bar stool

"There you guys are," Launchpad said joining his friends “what’d I miss?”

“These gentlemen just offered to show us how to get to Cape Suzette”

“That’s great! I’ll admit I wasn’t too sure of where to go from here” Launchpad said scratching the back of his head before offering his hand to shake “I’m Launchpad McQuack and this’s Morgana, Gosalyn, and Drake”

"It's nice ta meet ya'll," Louie said shaking LP’s hand "I’m Louie, and this here's, Baloo, Kit, and Sita”

“So what're you headin' to Cape Suzette for?" Kit asked as Baloo, Louie, and Sita all pick up a box

"Well, I used to be the pilot for Scrooge McDuck and he invited me to join him at a charity event a Mr. Khan is hosting there," Launchpad said noticing what they were doing "you guy's need a hand?"

“That’s not necessary,” Sita said

“It’s the least we can do,” Launchpad said grabbing a box

After a couple of minutes of loading boxes, the Thunderquack’s tank had been filled up and the Sea Duck was packed.

“Say,” Baloo said taking in the Thunderquack “nice plane ya got here”

“Thanks,” Launchpad said “that yours?”

“Yup,” Baloo said patting his planes haul “this’s my baby, customized her myself”

“She’s a beaut,” Launchpad said hopping into the pilot's seat “so you want me to stay a couple meters back?"

“Maybe one of us should go with Launchpad just in case we get separated” Sita suggested

“I’m sure we’ll be fine,” Launchpad said

“Alright,” Sita said shrugging it off and jumping into the Sea Duck

“Before I forget,” Baloo said sticking his head out of his plane “make sure to watch out for air pirates”

“You got it,” Launchpad said closing up the Thunderquack "what's an air pirate?"

Pulling away from the docks the Sea Duck took off for the cliffs of Cape Suzette with the Thunderquack tailing along from behind. Thankfully the sky was clear, with the occasional odd cloud here and there, so it was easy for Launchpad to stay on Baloo's tail.

"Hey what's that?" Gosalyn asked pointing at the Iron Vulture as it came out of the clouds

"Watch out back there," Baloo said over the radio "that’s the Iron Vulture. It’s filled to the brim with pirates”

"What do we do?" Launchpad asked picking up his radio

“Just keep your eyes peeled,” Baloo said

"HOLD IT!" Drake yelled hopping up to stand on his seat "that’s Negaducks plane. It's going into that, that thing!"

"Well ain't that strange," Baloo said watching as the Iron Vulture seemingly ate a plane that looked nearly identical to the one behind him before just flying off, completely ignoring the other two aircrafts

"Who do you think was in that plane?" Kit asked as they entered the cliffs of Cape Suzette

"No idea," Louie said scratching his head "but if they're workin' with Karnage they can't be good news"

"Attention all passengers," Baloo said picking up his radio again as they flew over the bay "here we have the beautiful city of Cape Suzette with its crystal clear bay, sky-high buildings, and an angry-looking Beckers standing on the docks. Oh boy"

"Is something wrong up there?" Launchpad asked

"It's just my boss," Baloo said as he pulled into the Higher for Hire docks

Reluctantly Baloo got out of the Sea Duck awaiting the verbal onslaught from his boss.

"Hey-a there Beckers," Baloo said as Kit, Louie, and Sita got out of the Sea Duck and Gosalyn, Drake, and Morgana got out of the Thunderquack

"Where have you been, Baloo?" Becky asked jabbing Baloo in the chest with her finger "you were supposed to be back with Louie ten minutes ago!" she noticed the ducks "oh, who're they?"

"Ms. Cunningham, this is Launchpad, Drake, Morgana, and Gosalyn" Kit said motioning to each person before looking back at them to introduce Beccy “they didn't know how to get here so Baloo offered to give ‘em a hand"

"Oh, well..." Becky said "you did good Baloo, but I still need you to hurry and take Louie and his supplies to the Spruce Moose"

"Right on it, Beckers," Baloo said going to unload his plane

"Oh allow me," Morgana said using her magic to levitate all of the boxes that had been loaded into the Sea Duck "where do these need to go?"

"Woah!” Kit said in awe of what was happening before him

"Say how're you doin' that?" Baloo asked looking dumbfounded

"Oh that's nothing," Gosalyn said excitedly "you should've seen it when she turned my dad into pudding"

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After the aircraft had entered the Iron Vulture the Fearsome Five got out of the Nega-Thunderquack (Did it have a name in the show; I don’t remember?) and were greeted by Don Karnage as Dumptruck and Mad Dog stood behind their captain and the rest of the crew looked down from the catwalk above. "Welcome to the Iron Vulture my cunning accomplishes!" Karnage exclaimed "Wow!" Quackerjack said in amazement as he took in the size of the Vulture "it's so big. Echo" he sat there and listened as the word echo slowly faded away, giggling to himself “You must be Don Karnage,” Negaduck said taking a couple of steps forward “And you Negaduck,” Karnage said “it is nice to be finally meeting you in person, yes-no” “Yeah,” Negaduck said, drawing the word out a bit “…so how’re we gonna get past those cliffs? I noticed that there were a shit load of cannons running along them and they looked like they have some serious firepower” “No need to be worrying about the cannons,” Karnage said “we have a way of getting past them” “So what is it we need to steal?” Bushroot asked, wringing his leaved hands together nervously, until Liquidator placed a watery hand on his shoulder “There is a map that is said to be displayed within the Spruce Moose and it is the key to finding the treasure, there is also a party being held there tonight so we will also be having the opportunity to be getting some riches as well,” Karnage said as Gibber walked over to him whispering in his ear "excellent! The submarine is ready" "How many can fit in it?" Negaduck asked eyeballing the water vehicle "We should be able to be getting five maybe six people in there," Karnage said "So who gets to go?" Liquidator asked even though he already knew the answer "Not me!" Megavolt said quickly, terrified by the idea of being completely submerged in water “I’ll go” Quackerjack volunteered, raising his hand “You’re all going” Negaduck growled glaring at his team “And Mad Dog and Dumptruck shall be accompanying you,” Don Karnage said “after all you will be needing someone to operate the submarine” “Aw,” Mad Dog whined “do we have to, Cap’in?” “Yes!” Karnage yelled, slapping Mad Dog “how do you expect them to be navigating the bay much less the city!” “Yes, captain” Mad Dog sighed rubbing his cheek

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Once Morgana had helped load all of Louie's crates into the truck that would be taking him to the Spruce Moose the ducks wandered over to the main road, Launchpad hailing them a cab so they could get to the hotel Scrooge and his nephews were staying at. 

“Do you know what room number they’re in, LP?” Drake asked as they stepped into the hotel’s elevator 

“Yeah,” Launchpad said pressing the button for the right floor “room 595” 

Once the doors opened to the fifth floor everyone began counting out the room numbers until they came across the correct one.

“595” Launchpad said knocking on the door “this is it”

“Launchpad!” Dewey exclaimed after opening the door

“Hey, guys!” Launchpad said giving the boys a bear hug as they jumped him “you’ve gotten bigger since the last time I saw you” 

“We’ve missed you, Launchpad,” Dewey said 

“I missed you, boys, too” Launchpad chuckled 

“Launchpad,” Scrooge said walking over to his old pilot “how’ve you been, lad?”

“I’ve been great, Mr. McD” Launchpad said, setting the boys down “I can’t thank you enough for inviting me to come here with you”

“It was nothing,” Scrooge said “now introduce us to your friends”

“Mr. McD this is Drake Mallard, his daughter Gosalyn, and his girlfriend Morgana McCawber” Launchpad said motioning to each person he named

“A pleasure to meet you,” Scrooge said tipping his hat slightly “I am Scrooge McDuck and these are my nephews Huey, Dewey, and Louie” 

“Hey, you alright? Huey asked having taken notice of Drake “you look distracted”

“I’m fine,” Drake said waving him off “just deep in thought” 

“Boys,” Scrooge said getting the attention of his nephews as he checked his pocket watch “get your coats on, it’s time to go”

“Hey,” Launchpad said, realizing something “where’re Donald and Webby?”

“Donald’s back in Duckburg with his old garage band and Webby is at some retreat with Mrs. Beakley”

Once the boys got their jackets on the group made their way down to the lobby to wait for the limo that had been sent for Mr. McDuck and it wasn’t long before the gang found themselves arriving at the Spruce Moose almost directly after Rebecca and Baloo did. 

“Well, howdy there, strangers,” Baloo said when he noticed the ducks

“Hey there, Baloo,” Launchpad said, shaking the bear's hand “where’s Sita?”

“She’s already here with her pops” 

“Mr. McDuck” Rebecca said in a sickenly sweet voice “it’s such an honor to meet you! I’m Rebecca Cunningham”

“It’s nice to meet ya, lass,” Scrooge said offering his hand to shake “now, Launchpad here has spoken quite highly of your pilot” he tapped Baloo's gut with his cane “and I have been thinking about making expanding business connections in Cape Suzette, perhaps we can discuss it” 

“That would be wonderful!” Rebecca said clasping her hands together 

“Let’s get a seat ‘fore all the good ones ‘re taken,” Baloo said motioning for the others to come inside with him

Stepping inside the grounded plane everyone took a moment to marvel at the decorations. 

“Who’s that scary guy with Sita?” Gosalyn asked 

“That would be her dad,” Baloo said, leaning forward a bit to be more on her level 

Standing near a group of businessmen was Sita, wearing a knee-length deep blue dress with Shere Khan and a female tiger that looked to be the exact age as her, wearing a black floor-length turtleneck, but with black hair that had been pulled up into a bun at the top of her head and held a stern look that was very similar to the one the other tiger wore. As the others went to find a table Scrooge and his nephews walked up to the tiger so they could get introductions out of the way. 

“Mr. McDuck,” Shere Khan said shaking the duck's hand “it’s nice to see you again” 

“Nice to see you again as well, Mr. Khan,” Scrooge said 

“You remember my daughters?” Shere Khan said “Monika and Sita” 

“Yes, such lovely young women” Scrooge said “I don’t believe you’ve met my nephews, Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Boys this is Mr. Khan CEO of Khan Industries” 

“Hello” 

“Hi”

“‘Sup”

“My” Monika said looking down at the triplets “aren’t you three adorable” 

“Louie Duck” Louie said stepping forward his hand outstretched for the tiger to shake “of Louie Enterprises”

“Go sit down, lad” Scrooge said, gently nudging his nephew with his cane

“Why?”

“Because you don’t have a solid business model yet. Telling people the name of your company but having nothing to offer isn’t going to get you anywhere”

Groaning Louie sulked over to the table his brothers had sat themselves at.

“Eager child isn’t he,” Shere Khan said

“Ey,” Scrooge sighed watching Louie join his brothers “he is. He’s got a bright future ahead of him if he applies himself”

When they got there Drake had split away from his family and found a spot that gave him plenty of room to pace in murmuring to himself obviously, at least to the ducks that knew him, obsessing over trying to come up with reasons as to why the Fearsome Five could possibly have reason to be this far away from St.Canard.

"Oooh, it's going to be like this all night isn't it?" Morgana growled looking very annoyed, dully glaring at her boyfriend 

"Hey," Gosalyn said looking up at the witch "if it is then we can always dance together"

“That sounds wonderful, darling,” Morgana said placing a hand on the young duckling's shoulder as she lead her over to the refreshment table “but how about you go over and sit with the boys”

“Do I have to?” Gosalyn asked 

“I’m sure you’ll get along just fine,” Morgana said grabbing a glass, filling it up with some punch for Gosalyn “besides I doubt you’ll want to spend all night listening to boring business talk”

“Alright” Gosalyn grumbled taking the cup from the witch before walking over to the table Huey, Dewey, and Louie were sitting at 

As the night went on everything seemed to be getting along quite well; Gosalyn and the boys were telling exaggerated stories of their adventures, trying to outdo each other with their tales, standing by where Louie had set up shop were Baloo and Launchpad having a conversation about planes as Sita listened in, Morgana had decided to take a crack at trying to get Drake to take a break from his thoughts and join in on the party, while Rebecca, Monika, and Scrooge were discussing business. As Sita was listening in to the pilot's conversation a gray wolf dressed in a rather fancy-looking pilot's jacket over a nice dress shirt came over to her, radiating an air of superiority. 

“Howdy there,” the wolf said, giving a toothy grin “the name’s Ace London. I’m sure you’ve heard of me”  

“Uh,” Sita said looking from him to where her friends were standing next to her

“At a loss for words I see,” Ace said, his smile widening “yeah, I have that effect on women” 

Sita didn’t respond to anything the wolf said to her, she just stood there looking at him unsure of what was happening or what she should do, waiting for one of her friends to come help her, but none of them did. Baloo and Louie, because all Ace was doing, was bragging about himself and wasn’t making any obvious moves, while Monika just wanted to watch her twin squirm for a bit before coming to her rescue. 

“Would you all excuse me for a moment?” Monika asked, waiting a few seconds to get approval before walking over to her sister “you must be Ace London. I am Monika Khan” she held out her hand for the pilot to shake, giving Sita a chance to escape

“Thanks for the help, Baloo” Sita quietly hissed as she walked past the bear 

“Anytime” Baloo chuckled saluting the panther 

Deciding she needed a moment alone Sita found a spot towards the back of the plane where no one else was standing, chugging the remainder of her drink when she noticed a framed map that was hanging on the wall that was quick to garner all of her attention and she took in every detail of it. Just then several sets of thorny vines burst through the windows at the helm of the plane. Everyone looked up in shock at the vegetation as gleefully hysterical laughter rang out into the room.

“It’s playtime!” Exclaimed Quackerjack happily as he appeared at the top of the vines, letting loose an army of snapping toy teeth that began a mission to clear out the room 

Flipping down to the floor the crazed toymaker watched as everyone who was in attendance began running around the room in a panic, with the exception of our heroes, and Megavolt, Bushroot, Mad Dog, and Dumptruck climbed down the vines while harsh waves began violently rocking the grounded plane, eventually pushing it away from the dock. Thankfully, by that point, a majority of the civilians had gotten away. With the plane now far enough away from the docks that no one could get on or off board Liquidator made his entrance, practically exploding through the busted open window not only to make it more dramatic but also as a way to intimidate any stragglers that were still inside the Moose. 

“Now how’d those two get past the cliff guns?” Baloo asked looking at the two pirates as they began moving throughout the room

“Looks like you were right, DW” Launchpad said to what he thought was his partner, glad that Morgana, Gosalyn, and the boys had managed to find a spot that had them hidden from the villain's view “DW?” He looked around when he didn’t get a response

“I am the terror that flaps in the night” a voice boomed while a blue smoke filtered into the room

“You gotta be freakin’ kidding me,” Quackerjack said rolling his eyes

“I am the partygoer that makes everyone uncomfortable” 

“W-what’s he doing all the way out here?” Bushroot stuttered, taking a couple of steps toward Liquidator 

“I am Darkwi-i-i-i-i-i-ing Duck!” 

“You guys know him?” Mad Dog asked Liquidator

“Unfortunately” Liquidator sighed furrowing his brows in annoyance, forming his hand into a giant fist

Rearing back his arm Liquidator slung it forward so he could punch the caped crusader into the wall behind him, several large droplets of water flinging off of his arm from the movements.

“Hey,” Megavolt said, lifting his leg so he could avoid the water “watch it!”

“That’s it!” Gosalyn exclaimed getting an idea “come on” she motioned for the boys to follow her as she crawled away

Crawling behind an empty table Gosalyn snatched the tablecloth off of it before continuing for the table that had the punch bowl on it. 

“What’re we gonna do with that?” Dewey asked, furrowing his eyebrows a bit in confusion

“We need to make a slingshot so we can launch the punch bowl at that guy,” Gosalyn said pointing from the bowl to Megavolt “so we can short out his powers” 

“Got it,” the three boys said in unison as Louie and Dewey grabbed the cloth so they could hold it steady and Gosalyn and Huey grabbed the punch bowl. With his brothers holding the sling in place Huey set the bowl on the fabric and took several steps back until the material was taught 

“Ready,” Gosalyn said standing behind the red triplet so he knew where to aim “aim. Fire!” 

And with that Huey released his hold, the bowl flying through the air until it hit its target, successfully shorting out Megavolt's powers, leaving him singed and smoking. 

“Come on, Sparky,” Quarkerjack teased flipping over to his soaking-wet partner “we just got here”

“Don’t call me that!” Megavolt growled shaking the droplets of punch off of his gloves 

Recovering from the watery attack Darkwing was quick to notice that Megavolt was seemingly down for the count without access to his electric powers, so he decided to take him out first. However, what he didn’t know was that even with his powers shorted out Megavolt wasn’t defenseless, he had a laser gun that Quackerjack had customized for him strapped onto his belt. Seeing that Darkwing was coming right for him Megavolt let out a yelp before pulling it out so he could fire at the masked hero, coming close to hitting him several times. 

“Don’t worry, DW!” Launchpad exclaimed trying to run over to his partner, only to be blocked by Quackerjack “I’m coming”

“I don’t think so, Joe,” Mr. Bananabrain said being shoved into Launchpad's face 

Letting out a startled yelp at the sudden appearance of the doll, Launch Pad stumbled backward, just barely managing to catch himself on the edge of the table before he hit the ground. Pulling out two more sets of snapping teeth Quackerjack replaced Mr. Bananabrain with them in his hands and tried to assault Launchpad with them but the pilot was able to avoid every attempt to bite him; eventually being forced to run away, the mad jester running after him.

“Move it aside gramps” Mad Dog said walking up to Scrooge, his sword raised

“Please” Scrooge scoffed rolling his eyes “I’ve faced off against hordes of villains far more intimidating than you” he held his cane out like a sword “so have at thee”

It became apparent to the pirate that he was severely outmatched as Scrooge had years of experience over him and was slowly being led closer to where Monika and Shere Khan were standing on the sidelines, stoically watching the chaos. Snagging the hook of his cane around Mad Dog's ankle, Scrooge pulled his leg out from under him, causing the air pirate to tumble backward towards where Monika and Shere Khan stood, the former side kicking him away from her and her dad. Just like his fellow pirate Dumptruck wasn’t having much luck either, he’d gotten too close to where Rebecca was standing and she had decided to retaliate.

“You no good low down dirty pirate!” Rebecca exclaimed angrily, as she repeatedly hit Dumptruck over the head with her purse until the moment he was no longer within her reach

“Hold still you little” Morgana growled as she desperately tried to hit Liquidator with her magic, only to have said villain avoid every beam

“Is the pressure of superheroing stressing you out? Do you feel like no matter how hard you try you’ll never be able to measure up?” Liquidator asked, his body stretching out and forming into a wave “let Liquidator brand water wash your troubles away” 

Unable to get away in time Morgana was washed across the room by the force of the villous wave, a rouge beam of magic striking Launchpad, turning him into a yak.

Now just because all of the villains were busy fighting the adults doesn’t mean the boys or Gosalyn were sitting back twiddling their thumbs. Hopping from table to table Gosalyn and Dewey were using broken chair legs they’d picked up as hockey sticks to whack away the toy teeth chattering along the floor and Hewey and Louie used their pieces of broken chair to beat back Booshroots vines. 

“Ah hell, Baloo, look at us just standin’ around doin’ nothing. We should get in there and start helping” Louie said lifting a box of fruit 

“Couldn’t agree with you more” Baloo said grabbing a melon 

Dropping the crate on the counter Louie grabbed some fruit as well, the two of them chucking the produce at any bad guy they laid their eye’s on. Unfortunately, for everyone really, after the fruit hit their targets they left slick puddles of juice on the floor. The first to fall victim to the juices were the yak Launchpad and Quackerjack, the two stumbling as they attempted to keep on their feet. As his partner and the sidekick were struggling to keep on their feet Megavolt had managed to turn the tables and was now chasing Darkwing, firing right at the hero’s heels when a melon hit him in the face, completely covering his goggles effectively blinding him; causing him to fire wildly at anything that happened to be nearby as he attempted to wipe off his goggles.

Amongst all of the fighting Bushroot took the opportunity to discreetly slip to the back of the Moose so he could attempt to nab the map they had come to steal. Unfortunately for him, the glass frame was not coming off of the wall, no matter how hard he pulled at it. Using his sword to keep the fruit from hitting him Dumptruck made his way back to the plant-duck. 

“What’s the holdup?” Dumptruck asked ducking down to avoid a bundle of grapes

“It’s stuck!” Bushroot said defeated, flopping down his vine arms 

“Let me try,” Dumptruck said, pushing up his sleeves above his elbows but to no avail, despite him being significantly stronger than Bushroot the map frame refused to come off of the wall. In his anger he was about to punch open the glass frame, probably damaging the map in the process, when he noticed flashing red and blue lights coming for the Spruce Moose “uh oh. Here come the coppers” 

“How close are they?” Megavolt asked having made his way over to an outlet as Darkwing was now dealing with Liquidator 

“I say we got about five minutes till they get here,” Dumptruck said, noticing that Sita was still standing where she'd been when this all started "come on" he grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her along with him towards the sub

Letting out an irritated groan, Megavolt plugged himself into an outlet of the grounded plane to recharge his battery, effectively shorting out the circuitry as he recharged his battery, throwing everyone into darkness. Utilizing the opportunity the villains escape to their submarine, that they’d had the foresight to anchor to the Spruce Moose just as the emergency lights clicked on. 

“Oh,” Morgana said hurrying over to LP “Launchpad, I’m so sorry. I’ll get you turned back to normal”

“Hey,” Launchpad said as Morgana turned him back to normal “no harm no foul” 

“Is everyone alright?” Darkwing asked looking around the room 

“Yeah” 

“Sita is gone,” Monika said, having learned to hide her emotions just as well as her father could “the pirates must have taken her”

“Oh dear,” Shere Khan said 

“No need to worry, Ace London’ll bring her back safe and sound in no time!” Ace exclaimed walking over to the CEO from the spot he’d been cowering in 

“While I’m sure that your reputation alone would be enough qualification for a task such as this” Shere Khan started, knowing exactly what kind of pilot the wolf was “I feel it would be wiser to send someone who has been able to survive multiple encounters with the air pirates and know how they function” the tiger turned his attention to Rebbecca “Ms. Cuningham, I would be willing to more than compensate you for the use of your pilot and plane if you send Baloo to rescue my daughter”

“Of course,” Rebecca said, worry creeping onto her face “I’ll send him out as soon as possible” 

“Now just hold on a minute” Ace said 

“Enough,” Shere Khan said, as his remaining daughter rolled her eyes “I have made my decision. If you wish to face the air pirates yourself, that is your choice”

“What were they trying to accomplish?” Darkwing asked as he looked over the crime scene “almost everyone managed to evacuate the building before The Fearsome Four and those two air pirates entered and nothing but Sita appears to have been taken and Negaduck’s not one for ransoming heiress”

“What’re you thinking, DW?” Launchpad asked 

“I’m not sure,” Darkwing said, rubbing his chin in thought 

“It has something to do with that map,” Monika said pointing at the map her sister had been looking at before the chaos

“What makes you say that?” Darkwing asked looking at the tigress 

“It’s a twin thing,” Monika said “follow the map and you’ll find Karnage”

——————————————————————————————————

With the assistance of the Liquidator the Fearsome Four and Air Pirates were able to get to the rendezvous point in half the time it would have normally taken. Pulling just before the mouth of the Vulture the water dog lifted them the rest of the way into the plane hanger; however, since they arrived much sooner than anyone expected they didn’t receive anything close to a warm welcome. “You got back awfully fast,” Karnage said looking down at them suspiciously from the catwalk he and Negaduck had been walking along, discussing their plans “We couldn’t get the map, sir,” Mad Dog said as his captain and Negaduck walked down to the carrier before quickly adding “but we didn’t come back empty-handed” “Did you now?” Karnage asked raising an eyebrow and tapping his foot impatiently while everyone but Sita and Mad Dog got out of the submarine “I am not see anything with you” “She’s right…” Mad Dog started turning around, so he could motion for the panther to emerge “She!” Negaduck yelled furiously, raising both his fists in the air “you idiots completely ignored the one thing you needed to steal and took some woman!” “It’s not our fault Darkwing Dork showed up,” Megavolt said “So!? He shows up all the time back in St.Canard you should be expecting him by now!” “That thing was hooked into the wall good,” Sita said popping her head out of the submarine “there was no way in hell they were going to get it down undamaged and still be able to escape with that Darkwing guy there” “Sita!” Karnage said, being caught off guard by the young Khan’s appearance, quickly doing what he could to make himself look as presentable as he could “You know her?” Negaduck asked raising an eyebrow “Yes,” Karnage said, helping Sita down from the submarine “She saw the map,” Dumptruck said “At least they managed to do something useful,” Karnage said snapping his fingers and Ratchet came in with an arm full of as many maps as he could carry After Ratchet had set them down on the floor Sita looked over each of the maps until she found one that had the island the map was depicted on it. “This one,” Sita said pointing to the island “it’s on this island off of the coast of the Golden Sun” “Do you remember the details of the map?” Liquidator asked “Of course, she does” Karnage said “Dumptruck, find something to draw that island on so Sita can make the map” “Yes, Captain” Dumptruck sighed, doing as he was told, managing to draw up a pretty decent outline of the island on an unused roll of paper that was mixed in with the maps “here” he handed the paper and pen to the panther “Thank you,” Sita said while everyone gathered around her as she added details to the map until it was a near-perfect replica Negaduck grumbled something to himself as he snatched the map away from the panter. "Now, let us be getting you some more practical clothing," Karnage said motioning for Sita to follow him "come, come" “Aren’t you going to lock her up?” Quackerjack asked as the panter and red wolf left the hanger “Nah,” Mad Dog said “she’s like Houdini, gets outta anything we try and lock ‘er in; plus” he lowered his voice and leaned closer to the crazed toymaker “the Cap’in's got a crush on her” “Oh,” Quackerjack said wondering if he should start scheming like he did for Bushroot and Liquidator “I’m surprised you decided to team up with anyone,” Sita said once she and the pirate captain were away from everyone “We are needing the powers of the Fearsome Five to be getting past the booby traps surrounding the treasure” “What do they want in return?” Sita asked as Karnage opened a door for her “There is an object of great power that is supposedly hidden within the treasure that Negaduck is wanting” “So he gets the power and you get the treasure,” Sita said as the two turned down a hallway “what happens if they backstab you and take everything?” “Well, I will allow them to be having some of the treasure for their assistance, not much mind you, but I do have a plan in case something does go wrong” “How generous”

——————————————————————————————————

“Thanks again for keeping an eye on Gosalyn while we’re gone,” Launchpad said the next morning as he, Darkwing, Morgana, Baloo, Kit, Rebbecca, Molly, who was being held by her mother, Scrooge, Gosalyn, and triplets stood on the docks of Higher for Hire and Wildcat was making sure that the Sea Duck was in top running order. “It’s no problem,” Scrooge said hooking the curve of his cane into the back of Dewey's shirt as he attempted to sneak onto the plane “Oh come on!” Dewey exclaimed angrily “how’d you know what I was gonna do?” “Because, third one” Scrooge said, earning a glare from his nephew for using that nickname “I know you well enough by now to know what you’re thinkin'” “But how come we can’t go?” Dewey asked “we go on adventures all the time” “I’ve heard a fair bit about the villains that attacked last night and they are not the type of people you want to be messing with, especially when it comes to their leader” “He’s right, Dewey” Launchpad said getting down on one knee to place a hand on Dewey's shoulder “Negaduck is one dangerous guy and definitely doesn’t hesitate when it comes to hurting people” “Fine” Dewey groaned, sulking back to where his brothers were standing, who did their best to comfort him “She’s all fixed up good as new” Wild Cat said popping out of the plane “Remind me again why we’re bringing civilians along with us, LP?” Darkwing asked his sidekick “Camouflage,” Baloo said as Wild Cat climbed down from the Sea Duck “if those guys see your plane anywhere near them they’ll be thinkin’ that you’re lookin’ for them, but if they see the Sea Duck Karnage’ll think that I just have a delivery to make and happen to be passing by, hopefully” “He’s right, DW” Launchpad said “besides we’ll need someone who knows how these air pirates work so we aren’t chargin’ in blind” “I do hope that poor girl will be ok until we get there” Morgana mused as everyone boarded the Sea Duck “Sita’s a tough girl,” Baloo said getting in the pilot’s seat “and knows how ta handle herself against air pirates especially when it comes to Karnage” he couldn’t help but chuckle a bit “she’ll have no problem at all handlin’ him” “You got the map?” Launchpad asked Kit as he settled into the co-pilot seat and Kit got into the third seat Wild Cat had installed for the navigator “Right here,” Kit said unfolding the copy of the map they’d been given “Alright,” Baloo said, starting up the Sea Duck “everyone get buckled in we’re about to take off” he started pulling away from the Higher for Hire docks “so what should we expect from your guys?” Darkwing gave the bears a rundown on the Fearsome Five and their abilities. “And Negaduck is the most vile” he stopped mid-sentence when he heard rattling coming from a nearby cabinet “what was that?” Pulling out his gas gun the masked mallard crept over to it, opening the doors causing Gosalyn to come tumbling out. “Gosalyn!” Darkwing exclaimed, “what are you doing here?” He picked her up so he could set her down in the bench seat he’d been sitting on “I told you to stay with Mr. McDuck” “Come on, Dad,” Gosalyn said strapping herself into the bench seat she was now sitting on “It’s too late ta turn back now,” Baloo said as they passed through the cliffs “they already have a night's length head start on us. We can’t risk loosin’ any more time” “You are not getting off of this plane, do you understand me, young lady!”

[chelsea-reject]

In need of an editor/help (again)

Hello again.

I really didn't know if I wanted to do this again, since I did this before about a year ago, but right now I just want to explore my options.

I have been working on my main WIP for a few years now, but the biggest issue with getting it out is that it’s been stuck in editorial hell. I have now cycled through four editors, my most recent having to step off after a year of on-and-off work due to stuff in their personal life.

The WIP is called Afterlife. If I were to put genres to it, I’d say that it’s mainly in the realms of post-apocalyptic, sci-fi, action, supernatural/superpower, with a lot of elements taken from RPG video games, American superhero comics, Japanese anime/manga, and world mythology/religion/folklore/etc..

The basic gist of the story/setting is that it takes place in the distant future, thousands of years after multiple portals opened up above Earth’s most populated cities and demonic entities descended down wiped out most of humanity, humanity actually managed to survive and rebuild society underneath giant-force fields of energy called “Domes”. The main plot follows a group of teenagers who are able to summon demons through the use of technology and use them to combat threats to society (i.e in this first book they [mostly] fight their school's corrupt student council).

I actually finished the first book well over a year ago now, again it's just been stuck in this limbo state. It currently sits at fourteen chapters, fifteen counting the quick interlude chapter that my previous editor had me write. My previous editor actually got pretty far. They read up to chapter nine and left comments/notes on all of them, and then we went over chapters one-five and parts of six and seven together in discord calls, so I'd say that a good bulk of the work is actually kind of done. It's just a matter of finishing up the last couple of chapters.

What I’m looking for is someone who I can potential work with long term, or at least help me finish stuff up and then help me find someone for the long term.

If payment is required that’ll have to be discussed, because I have no source of income at the moment. I'm an unemployed college dropout, and I really want to make my artistic endeavors my careers. My idea has always kind of been that once I actually start putting the book out, I can give you a cut of the of the profits or something like that. The other idea I've had is maybe working out a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" type of deal, where if you edit my stuff, I can look at and edit your stuff as well.

Tagging: @writeblrsupport

[danfanciesphil]

Edgelord!Dan x ObliviousBisexual!Phil AU [CHAPTER SEVEN] (based off the 80′s classic Some Kind of Wonderful)

Synopsis: Dan has one friend, and only because he was forced into it. Phil is loud, excitable, and irritatingly happy all of the time. Phil seems to find Dan’s perpetual attitude funny, and despite Dan’s best efforts to shun him and everyone else, wants to be around him all the time. That is, until Phil starts talking about Amanda Jones. Word Count: WIP (Estimated 12-15 chapters) updates every Tuesday Rating: Explicit Warnings: Smoking, swearing, implied prostitution, broken home, class divide/classism, pining, light homophobia, sex

[Chapter One] [Chapter Two] [Chapter Three] [Chapter Four] [Chapter Five] [Chapter Six]

[Ao3!]

Dan wishes he woke up to soft arms cradling him, and the fond, familiar twinkle in Phil’s vibrant blue eyes. He wishes he woke up to a kiss, as passionate and searching as it had been yesterday. He wishes he woke up to warmth, and tentative happiness, and a sweet, slow beginning of something hopeful and beautiful and new.

Instead, he wakes up alone. He only stirs because he hears a sound, a general shuffling from afar. He blinks, blearily, at the empty space beside him. The indent of Phil is still pressed into the quilt and pillow. He sits up with some difficulty, trying to make sense of the morning, and trying to pinpoint the source of the noise. It’s only when he sees Phil, at the foot of his bed, pulling on his socks with the haste of a fugitive on the run, that he remembers.

Happiness, romance, sweetness - these things are reserved for girls like Amanda. Beautiful, charming people that spend their lives skimming cloud nine, a lucky clover tucked behind one ear. Boys like Dan get strife, and futility, and their hearts stomped on by people that don’t care. He swallows a sharp needle, feeling his eyes sting. Phil glances up, like he’s heard the murmur of Dan’s realisation; there’s guilt brimming in his eyes.

“Oh,” he says softly. He doesn’t seem to see that it’s too late for him to be quiet. Dan is awake now. “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“You’re leaving?” Dan asks, though the answer is perfectly obvious.

Phil straightens, and nods, avoiding Dan’s eye. “Yeah, I’ve… got a lot to do today.”

“Like what?”

The wave of Phil’s answering smile crashes over Dan’s head, but as it breaks, he feels the guilt lurking beneath the water.

“Tonight is Prom night,” Phil answers. “The big night.”

Dan’s eyes sting ferociously. He has to squeeze them shut. He hopes Phil can’t see the moisture from this far away. “Oh,” he says, chewing the inside of his cheek. “You’re going through with it, then.”

“Of course!” Phil’s voice is too high. “You know that this is the only thing I’ve talked about for weeks.”

Dan nods, his lips pressed together. If Phil weren’t already halfway out the door, he’d kick the guy out himself. “Right.”

“You’re still gonna come, right?” Phil asks. There’s no mistaking the nervousness of his stance, the tremor in his voice.

Dan screws his eyes shut again. “Yeah, I’ll still come.”

“Okay,” Phil says quietly. “Well, I’ll see you later then.”

Without his permission, Phil’s name forces it’s way out of Dan’s mouth, and Phil hesitates, warily. “Don’t you wanna… talk about it?” The words are spiky; they stick in his throat, choking him.

“Talk about what?”

“About last night,” Dan says.

“Oh,” Phil says awkwardly. There’s a flush edging his sharp cheekbones. “About the kiss, you mean?” He laughs, and the sound of it is jarring. “Yeah, thanks again. Needed the practise. You won’t, um… won’t be needing to do me any more favours now.”

Dan nods, silently. If Phil wants to pretend the other bit, the second bit, didn’t happen, Dan isn’t going to humiliate himself by trying to bring it up. Maybe they’ll never talk about it again. Maybe that’s good. Maybe one day, in the distant future, it’ll be such a vague, hazy memory that Dan could convince himself it was all a dream.

“So I’ll see you this evening,” Phil says after a while.

Dan doesn’t reply.

When he lifts his gaze to the door, Phil is gone.

*

“Where’re you going?”

Dan freezes. If he’d just come downstairs a few seconds earlier, he might have made it out of the door without being caught. He swallows, trying to remain calm as he turns slowly on the spot, his hand still on the knob, ready to dart out. His mum is leaning against the wall, staring at him. There’s a can of beer in her hand, half empty, and a smirk twisting her lips. Her half-lidded gaze drags over him, head to toe, absorbing the sight.

“Dressed pretty fancy for work, aren’t’cha?” She brings the can to her lips.

Dan looks at her feet, feeling hot and uncomfortable in this stupid outfit. He’d just about convinced himself, after hours of staring into his mirror, plucking and fussing at every item of clothing, every stray hair, that he looked okay. Now he wishes he could just rip everything off and crawl back into bed.

“I’m not going to work,” Dan mumbles.

“What’s that?” His mum asks loudly, stepping closer towards him. She wobbles unsteadily on her feet, indicating that this is not her first beer of the evening. “You slacking off, Daniel?”

Dan drags his eyes up to meet hers, sighing. “No, Mum. I’ve got the night off.”

“And why’s that?”

Dan hesitates, wondering if there’s a way he can get out of telling her. But she’s staring at the outfit he’s wearing again, ripping it apart with her sneer.

“It’s Prom,” Dan admits, quietly.

There’s a silence in the wake of his words that Dan doesn’t expect. When he looks up at his mother again, there’s a strange, distant expression on her face. A minute or so passes, and Dan wonders if he should maybe just leave. Then, she lowers the hand holding her can, letting it rest at her hip.

“That’s why you’ve got a shirt on,” she says, her voice unusually calm.

Dan nods, his brow furrowing as he tries to make sense of her mood.

“I bought you that shirt,” she says, staring. Dan shifts under her gaze, wriggling around in the stiff material. He’s still not used to the feel of it. “Did I?”

She looks up at him, her eyes wet and lost, searching his face for answers. Dan sighs, but nods at her. “Yeah, mum. You bought it for me. For the funeral.”

She nods, biting her lip. “Does it still fit?”

Dan shrugs, trying not to let her see how difficult the restrictive material makes this simple movement. “Well enough.”

“Can I get a picture of you, baby?” Her voice breaks a little.

Dan presses his lips together, cheeks burning. “I’m late,” he says, turning away. “I have to get going.”

“You takin’ a girl?”

Dan pauses, his hand still gripping the doorknob. He shakes his head, not sure if she’ll even see the movement.

“A boy?” It catches him off guard.

He doesn’t bother turning around. “What, you care about my love life now?”

There’s a split second where a look of distress splinters his mum’s face, but it’s gone in a moment, replaced by a hardened, weathered glare.

“Oh, fuck off then, I’m only tryin’a be nice,” she growls, taking another swig from her can. She walks back towards the kitchen, practically snarling. “Don’t pretend like you’re so goddamn innocent, Daniel. Don’t think I dunno what you get up to when you’re not in this house. Fucking slut you are, an’ the whole town knows it. No surprise you couldn’t get a date to your own Prom. Just this mornin’ I saw some skinny kid sneaking outta your door before the damn sun rose-”

The door slams shut behind Dan as he hurls himself out of it. His mum’s ranting is a muffle now, but it’s still going on, even as he walks, speedily as he can, down the path. His hands have curled into fists again, and he can feel how hard he’s digging his nails into his palm, but he can’t stop himself. It hurts, but he just keeps walking, vaguely aware of the cold wind whipping against his skin. Perhaps he should have brought a coat or something, but he can’t feel much, so it probably doesn’t matter.

He had the sense to snag Ricky’s keys off the counter earlier on, when his mum was still asleep, so he opens the car quickly and hops in. At the driver’s seat, he takes a minute to breathe, waiting for the vicious fangs of his mother’s words to drain of potency. He shoves it all down, word by word, compressing it in a dark corner of his mind. Then, he starts the engine. He goes through the routine of reversing, pulling onto the street, flicking on the headlights, mind blank. Before he knows it, he’s outside Phil’s door.

*

It’s a testament to how well Phil truly knows him that he asks if something’s the matter the second he catches sight of Dan’s face.

“Why? Can you think of any reason I’d be upset?” Dan bites out in response. That chokes any further questions from Phil’s mouth.

They pack themselves into the car, Phil being rigid and awkward, trying not to crease his suit.  

“I’ve never been in your brother’s car before,” Phil says, looking around. “It’s nice.”

“It’s a car,” Dan replies, turning the key in the ignition. “If it’s not good enough for your precious Amanda, you’ll have to find another way to Prom.”

Phil doesn’t say anything, but the look he gives Dan, small and apologetic, softens Dan’s hard exterior. He sighs heavily, pulling off the kerb. There’s a pause while Dan waits at the end of the road for a space to pull out.

“You look really nice,” Phil says softly.

The blunt blow of the unexpected compliment winds him. Dan stares resolutely out of the windscreen, his lips pressed together. Finally, after what feels like years suspended in this bizarre limbo of Ricky’s crappy car with his best friend and worst enemy, Dan snags a space between two cars, and pulls onto the main road.

“She lives-” Phil starts to say, but Dan cuts him off.

“I know where she lives.”

“Okay.” Phil’s voice is subdued, like a told-off toddler.

Amanda Jones lives quite close to Dan, as it turns out. He hadn’t realised this until recently, because he never sees her around, but then he doubts she’s often home. From Dan’s front door, it’s a few streets over, and under the bridge. PJ told him where exactly. He walked there once, a few days ago, disguising his  stalking session as a meandering walk.

He doesn’t know what he expected to find. Some marker on the house maybe that might indicate who lived there, and that she wasn’t the same as the residents of the neighbouring ones. That this girl had betrayed her upbringing to climb into bed with the enemy. But there was nothing. Amanda’s house is just the same as those either side of it. As Dan drives up to it now, he turns to look out of his window, trying to see anything he might have missed.

The houses on this side of the street are classic council houses – red brick, semi-detached, stuck to one another like they’ve been glued into their situation. A slim black railing separates the sliver of grass in front of Amanda’s house from the one next door. None of these ‘front gardens’ are particularly pleasant to look at, but Amanda’s in particular is overgrown and riddled with weeds. There’s a bike, cloaked in wet, coppery rust leant against the outside wall. Some toys – deflated footballs, a broken nerf gun, pieces of toy cars and tractors – litter the ground, rejected.

“Well,” Dan says. “Here we are. Want me to slay the dragon while you climb the tower?”

Phil lets out a snort of laughter. He doesn’t move. “I’m nervous.”

“I’d be weirded out if you weren’t,” Dan says.

For whatever reason, this seems to be enough to spur Phil onwards. He nods, and opens his door. Simply because he feels he should, Dan opens his own door, and joins him on the pavement. Dan side-eyes Phil, who appears to be stuck to the pavement. His hands are twitching.

“Go on, then,” Dan tells him, inclining his head towards her door.

Phil turns to him, eyes frantic. “Maybe this is a stupid idea.”

Yes, Dan wants to say. Yes, it fucking is a stupid idea. Why the fuck did you ever think it up? Why can’t you be interested in boys, and me in particular? Why do you, of all people, have to have fallen into Amanda Jones’ ridiculous, pretty, doe-eyed trap?

“Bit late for all that now,” Dan says instead, dropping his eyes to the floor.

Phil seems to be waiting for him to say something else, but at that moment, a burst of shouting erupts from inside the house, sounding like an argument. Phil looks up worriedly, dithering on the spot, clearly wondering whether to go and intervene. Instead, the front door flings itself open, and out flounces Amanda in a pink, shimmery dress. It falls down to her dainty ankles, the wafting material floating like wisps of candyfloss as she storms down the few steps from her house towards them, her Barbie heels click-clacking along the short stone path. She kicks a piece of toy tractor out of her way as she goes, sending it flying into one of the railings. When she gets to the two of them, she stops, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

Crap, and she looks incredible.

It makes Dan want to curl up on the floor in front of her and weep. It might as well all be over now, he might as well surrender himself to a life of inconsequentiality, because he will never, in a thousand years, be able to compete with the stunning, ethereal, angelic, feminine beauty of Amanda fucking Jones. Her high cheekbones are dusted with an iridescent highlight, which glitters each time she turns her face. Her eyelids sparkle, dusted with varying shades of expertly blended pinks, matching her dress exactly. Her hair is naturally curly, but now it falls in perfect, loose ringlets, at once effortless and elegant, pinned in some places with tiny rose coloured gems. Dan had been joking before about the dragon, but if someone walked along and didn’t assume she is a Princess, he’d be amazed.

“Sorry about that,” Amanda says. Her long, fake eyelashes flutter as she rolls her eyes. “You know parents. Anyway, hi.”

She looks Phil up and down, smiling in approval. Dan doesn’t blame her; Phil looks like he was cut out of a Cosmo article on ‘Prom Night Looks For Your Man’.

“Hi,” Phil says, practically whispering.

There’s a blush on his cheeks at the sight of her. She smiles at him warmly, then her eyes slide towards Dan, and she frowns. “What’s this, then? Two dates for the price of one?”

For a moment, Phil doesn’t react. Then, his brain seems to catch up with his ears. He laughs, his blush deepening.

“Oh, no, um,” he glances at Dan, clearly struggling for an explanation. “Dan’s just- he’s, um-”

“I’m gonna drive you guys,” Dan says, saving him. “So you can drink and not worry about getting home.”

Phil nods, agreeing silently; he seems even more on edge than before. It’s agony to observe him in this bumbling state, knowing full well it’s Amanda’s immaculate silhouette that has him in such a tizzy.

“That’s… very good of you,” she says, sounding suspicious.

“That’s me. Such a good guy.” Dan sighs, opening the door to the driver’s side. “Let’s get this over with, then.”

Before they can reply, Dan just slips into the car, pulling the door shut behind him. Unfortunately, this is not fast enough to block out the sound of Phil, getting ahold of himself at last, leaning down to whisper in her ear:

“You look beautiful, Amanda.”

*

“So… I’ve been trying to play it off like it’s totally cool we’re not heading in the direction of the school for the past five minutes,” Amanda pipes up, breaking an awkward silence that has descended over the three of them. “But it occurred to me that I don’t really know you guys that well… so like, could you maybe tell me where we’re going?”

“Oh, sorry,” Phil says from beside her. “I told Dan to take us to get something to eat first. I mean…” Dan flicks his eyes up to the rearview mirror, watching Phil assess Amanda’s reaction. “If- if it’s okay with you.”

She shrugs, looking amused. “Sure, I could eat. What did you have in mind?”

Phil beams, shoulders slumping in relief. “Pizza.”

Dan’s gaze shifts to Amanda in the mirror, studying carefully. To his astonishment, she grins, her white teeth sparkling. “I love pizza.”

Phil leans forwards to poke Dan in the shoulder. “Told you.”

*

Dan has genuinely no idea why he agreed to do this. Later, when this horrendous night is over with, Dan will be stuffing skittles into his mouth to the tune of N-Sync’s Bye Bye Bye. Hardly a worthy commiseration prize given that he will have had to spend hours watching a sickening display of heart-shattering cuteness featuring the boy he loves. With someone else. He drags on his cigarette, fingers shaking. It’s not even cold.

He found a pack of Ricky’s Marlboro Reds in the glovebox, but to his disappointment, discovered only one single cigarette left in the box. At least he can stop stinking of cherry for a while. He’s leant against the boot of the car, which isn’t an easy task considering how much it wobbles and shudders each time either Phil or Amanda shift the tiniest bit. They’ve spread their takeaway feast on the car bonnet, then perched up beside it, backs against the windshield as they share slices of pizza, talking about school, the town, their favourite music.

The night is so perfect it’s as if the Gods sculpted it for them. Dan raises his chin to look up at the sky, which is littered with hundreds of stars. They barely ever shine down on this bleak, grey town, but tonight they are bright and abundant. Perhaps Amanda just attracts them with her radiance. Or perhaps they came out to peer down at the ultimate third wheel, pathetically hiding just out of view.

Dan swallows, tasting nothing but ash on his tongue. He can hear them talking, still. The spot Dan has driven them to is a popular ‘make out’ destination. It’s only because it’s Prom night that there’s nobody here this evening. It occurs to Dan, belatedly, that Phil will probably, at some point this evening, kiss Amanda in front of him.

The thought is a lance of pain striking through his gut. It’s debilitating just to entertain it; for a good few seconds, Dan can’t so much as move his limbs. The cigarette between his fingers becomes heavy and leaden. It drips ash onto his hand, and he curses, flapping his hand at the pain. He leans his head back against the car, trying not to think of anything. Clearing his mind, however, only makes it all too easy to focus on the conversation happening a few feet away.

“So, got any other surprises in store for me before we actually get to the dance?” Amanda asks.

“If I told you, they wouldn’t be very good surprises, would they?”

Dan shakes his head at Phil’s lame attempt to seem enigmatic. He’s probably bursting to tell her a step-by-step itinerary of the night ahead; he’s not exactly the world champion at keeping his lively emotions inside.

“Ah,” Amanda says. “I see how it is.”

There’s a pause, and Dan relishes it, willing it to go on longer, to cross the border from an ordinary lull into a painfully awkward gap between their banter.

“It was nice of your friend to do this,” Amanda says unexpectedly. Dan flinches. “Really nice. What’s his name, again?”

The car jostles a little, as if Phil’s fidgeting. “Dan.”

“How’d you get him to give up his whole night to drive us around?” Amanda asks, clearly itching with poorly concealed curiosity. “Does he owe you some massive favour or something?”

The car jostles again, making Dan’s head knock against it. “Hah,” Phil chokes out, “no. Um, I just bribed him, y’know? Used his weakness. He loves Skittles.”

“Skittles?”

“Yeah,” Phil replies, chuckling. “He’s mad for them.”

There’s a pause, and Dan finds himself straining to hear the next words.

“You’re telling me…” Amanda says slowly. “Dan agreed to miss out on Prom, dress up all smart, drive us about, wait around for us to chat or whatever, drive us to school… all for some Skittles?”

Dan smirks to himself, though he knows none of this is the slightest bit funny. It is kind of ridiculous that anyone would actually believe such a ridiculous story. It seems absurd, suddenly, that Phil hasn’t caught on to the real reasoning behind Dan’s unending generosity.

Phil forces out another fake sounding laugh. “I guess he just really likes Skittles.”

“How many packs?”

“Four? Five, maybe? I can’t remember what we settled on.”

It was five, Dan thinks bitterly. And if Phil thinks he can forget the Skittles, he’s very wrong. Dan might be hopelessly in love with him, but he’s not doing this for absolutely nothing. There’s another pause, and Dan sighs, wondering for the millionth time what on earth he’s doing to himself, and why.

“Wow,” Amanda says. “Good friend.” 

“Yeah, he is,” Phil says unexpectedly. “I know he comes off all tough and moody, but he does care about me. He’s been really good to me recently. Listened to me prattle on about you, for one thing.”

Amanda laughs. “You talk to him about me?”

“Oh, all the time,” Phil says, sounding glad for the change of subject. Dan fumbles for his phone, trying to distract himself. “I talk his ear off, actually,” Phil says. “He’s probably sick of it. Actually, I know he’s sick of it.”

“Poor Dan,” Amanda jokes.

Dan rolls his eyes, nodding silently. Poor Dan, indeed.

“Yeah,” Phil laughs. “I should stop annoying him about it. I mean, he tends to look annoyed sort of permanently, but I can always tell when he’s actually annoyed because he gets this little jumpy twitch in his jaw right here, like he’s clenching his teeth too hard.”

Baffled, Dan unclenches his jaw, rubbing it with one hand.

“You must annoy him a lot, to notice something like that,” Amanda says, teasingly.

Though Dan would hate to admit it aloud, Amanda’s actually pretty funny. She sounds easy to talk to, which is hard to find in anyone, let alone one of the Elite crew.

“Probably,” Phil agrees, chuckling. “But I’ve also studied his face a lot, so I know a lot of his quirks.”

“Um, what?”

Dan facepalms mentally, wondering if Phil ever actually rehearses what he’s about to say before letting the words spill off his tongue.

“Oh, I mean I draw him a lot,” Phil says, laughing. Amanda titters politely, but it sounds confused. “I use him for practise because we hang out all the time. He doesn’t usually mind, I don’t think.”

“You draw?” Amanda asks, and Dan frowns.

She doesn’t even know he’s an artist. She can’t care about him much to not have learned his one hobby.

“Yeah!” Phil exclaims happily, not seeming to care. “That’s what I want to do. Well, art anyway. I draw and paint. I like drawing people, but I’m bad at keeping to the rules. That’s what my teacher says. I tend to want to make them into birds or give them antennae or rainbow skin or something. So, I make myself practise every day at just drawing people normally. Usually it’s a pain, but I don’t mind drawing Dan for some reason. Maybe it’s because I know him so well. I could probably draw him blindfolded at this point.”

A heat creeps along Dan’s cheeks. It’s ridiculous to feel so pleased about something so obviously innocent. His place in Phil’s life is essentially as his mannequin. Yet somehow, it’s one of his proudest achievements.

“That’s sweet,” Amanda says. “You two must be very close.”

“I guess,” Phil replies. “Um, would you excuse me a sec? All this soda is going right through me.”

Amanda bursts into laughter. “Are you gonna pee in the hedge?”

Phil just laughs along with her. “Don’t see a convenient port-a-loo.”

“You’re a brave man,” Amanda says.

The car jostles, and then the tramp of Phil’s footsteps indicates his wander off into the wilderness. Dan pokes his head around the side of the car just in time to see his vague silhouette ducking into a thicket of branches a few meters away.

Dan pushes off the car then, pacing a few steps away to smoke in silence. A few moments of peace go by, and then he gets the uncanny sense that someone is closely observing him. He spins around to find Amanda stood a foot away, her glittery eyes trained on him.

“Sorry,” he says, though he doesn’t mean it. “Is the smoke bothering you?”

“Smoking will kill you,” she says, then steps towards him and plucks the cigarette from his fingers. “Or so they tell us.” 

She lifts it to her lips and takes a long, deep drag, eyes fluttering. In the milky moonlight, the sparkles refract, sending shimmery pearls rippling over the bracken nearby. 

Dan watches all of this in abject shock. Only a minute ago he’d have bet good money on the fact that Amanda Jones has never so much as sucked on Hardy’s vape stick. 

“Maybe I don’t wanna live that long,” Dan says, still wide-eyed as she hands the cigarette back to him. 

“Ooh,” Amanda says with a smirk. “Edgy.”

Despite himself, Dan feels his own mouth twitching. “Did you want something?”

“Yeah. I wanna know why you’re doing this.”

“Smoking? Well, I need some sort of vice to get through this. And I don’t have any coke to hand.”

Her features are utterly perfect, symmetrical and dainty. Even in the low evening light, she is an angel. “I mean the driving.” 

“I’m his mate,” Dan says, turning from her; he can’t look at something so beautiful anymore. It’s almost painful. “I’m doing him a favour.”

“Pretty big favour,” Amanda says. She holds out her hand for the cigarette again. Dan thinks about refusing her, but it would only make things awkward. He hands it to her carefully, and she takes a drag, sighing in pleasure. When their eyes meet, she says: “Are you in love with him?”

“What?” Dan almost drops the cigarette as she passes it. His heart pumps wildly. “Of course not.”

Amanda shrugs, smoothing down her long skirt. “Hey, my boyfriend of two years wouldn’t even open the car door for me. And look what you’re doing for your ‘mate’ for a few packs of Skittles.”

Dan scowls. “Maybe that’s more to do with your choice of boyfriend.”

Amanda fixes him with that laser stare again. There’s a glimmer of perpetual amusement in it, as though she sees something in Dan’s very essence that is laughable. It sets Dan’s teeth on edge.

“You don’t like me,” Amanda surmises, one eyebrow arching.

For a moment, Dan doesn’t know how to respond. If he verbalises his hatred, and all the reasons behind it, Phil will be angry.

“We’re not gonna be best buds, let’s put it that way,” Dan says.

“You don’t think I’m good enough for Phil, is that it?”

Dan rubs his eyes, exhausted by the evening already. He didn’t exactly get a lot of sleep last night. “Nobody is.”

“Except you?” Amanda smiles at the withering glance he gives in response. “Okay, fine. But Dan,” she sighs, glancing over her shoulder to make sure Phil is still out of sight. “We’re not that different, you know.”

The snort of laughter is so abrupt that it makes Amanda jump a little. “Right, yeah. We’re practically twins. Shall we get a blood test?”

She maintains her calm stare. “Think about it. We’re both from broken homes. Grew up on the wrong side of the tracks with families that don’t give a shit.”

“You, me and millions of other people all share that lovely background,” Dan says.

“Yes, true. But there’s more, isn’t there?” Amanda leans against the car, craning her neck towards the night sky. “We deal with our problems in the same way.”

“Whatever.”

“Look, I know the rumours about you,” she says. “Let’s just say I’m not the only one using my looks to get into places I don’t belong.”

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“Don’t I? Dan, if I wasn’t pretty and skinny, I’d have no chance. I’d be like you, stuck here with no options. But I saw the opportunity to live a better life and I took it.” Amanda shrugs. Her eyes are hooded, sad. “I know Hardy’s a cheating dirtbag. I’m not blind. But being with him gets me the dolce vita. And yes, it’s superficial and elitist and despicable. Trust me, I hate myself enough for the both of us. But it’s better than the alternative.”

“If you really feel like that, then why are you here?” Dan spits. “Phil can’t take you to glamorous yacht parties or whatever bullshit you do with Jenns.”

Amanda smiles sadly, looking to her shoes. “I know that. I guess I just wanted a taste of this. To know what I’m missing. To know what it would be like if I’d been stronger, said no to Hardy’s advances, not taken the diamonds and the dresses. If I’d found myself a nice, normal boy, even if he had to save for three months and bribe his best friend to show me one fun night.”

“I don’t appreciate people using my friends,” Dan tells her, coldly.

“Oh, and he’s not using me?” Amanda rolls her eyes. “He doesn’t even know me, Dan. We’ve spoken twice before tonight. He tells himself he wants me because I’m pretty, and coveted. Quite clearly, he can’t see five feet in front of his nose to what he really wants.”

Dan frowns. “What are you getting at?”

It doesn’t look likely that Amanda is going to clarify her strange statement, but as it turns out, she doesn’t get the chance. Phil walks over, rubbing the hand sanitizer he’d brought along into his palms. As he approaches them, his expression drops into wariness.

“Hey,” he says cautiously, eyes flicking between Dan and Amanda. “Everything okay?”

“Whatever,” Dan says, then promptly stalks back to the driver’s seat. He brushes past Phil, who shoots him a ‘what’s going on’ look, but Dan ignores him, climbing into the driver’s seat without a word. Five minutes later, after collecting the pizza boxes and blankets from the bonnet of the car, Phil and Amanda get into the back, all smiles and chatter again.

“Next stop school please, driver,” Phil says cheerily. If he thinks Dan is going to find his pretence that Dan’s an actual chauffeur for this awful event cute or charming, he is very much mistaken. “Did you want some pizza, Dan? There’s a few slices left.”

“How considerate,” Dan almost snarls. “I’m fine, thanks.”

He turns the key in the ignition and backs the car out of the lot. It’s fourteen miles to the school from here, and it takes ten of those for Dan’s tight knuckles to un-whiten from where they’re gripped around the wheel.

(Chapter Eight!)