#this has been in my drafts for so long I just haven't had the confidence to post it

[stars-irises]

My Cornley Drama Society family headcanons:

Warning: Their parents suck and none of them have good relationships to their families.

Chris:

Starting off with the man whose parents canonically suck. They were definitely very strict and conservative (*cough* tories *cough), and I mean they canonically didn't show Chris affection. But I feel like Chris is probably in denial about this because whenever you hear him talk about his parents it's very clear that they suck but he just talks about it like it's normal (ex: "my mother, like all mothers, abhors any physical contact"). Most of the others have picked up on the fact that Chris's parents suck but whenever anyone talks to him about it he gets really defensive really quickly. I think that somewhere deep down he knows that his parents are bad but he just forces himself to believe that they're not because he can't deal with the idea that they are. He also gives me major only child vibes.

Robert:

Robert canonically has a sister, but I feel like he probably has another sibling as well because he really gives me ignored middle child vibes. I get the feeling that his parents were kind of neglecting towards him and discouraged anything he did so now he is just desperately trying to prove himself to them, or at least prove their low opinions of him wrong. Sibling wise I think he probably has a younger sister and an older sister (the older one being the one who briefly dated Chris, and the younger one being Lucy's mother). When it comes to Robert's relationships with his sisters I feel like he's probably a bit closer with his younger sister.

Dennis:

A while ago I posted about the fact that I believe that Denise, the female variant of Dennis, is his sister and I still stand by that. He's probably the younger of the two. I think his parents got divorced when he was quite young and he doesn't really see his dad nor has a very strong connection to him (a big reason for why he seems so fine with calling Robert dad). From the small details that we've heard about his mum I don't think she's a good parent either, considering that the bits of information we've been given about her are:

She dated Robert. I hope that most people can agree that dating your sons friend and co-worker (and also future roommate, which I just want to mention cause I think it's funny) is maybe not the best thing to do.

During a performance of The Murder at Haversham Manor she straight up got up and left

When Dennis thought that Vanessa proposed to him he called his mum who said that she didn't believe him because she thinks that Vanessa is a solid eight and Dennis is a two. Which, surprise surprise, is a really shitty thing to say.

So yeah I don't think she's great either, but just like Chris, I think that Dennis is a bit in denial about this. But whilst Chris is kind of actively trying to convince himself that his parents are good, I feel like for Dennis that has never occurred as a possibility. It's so deeply engrained in his brain that this is what parents are supposed to be like that he's never even entertained the idea that his parents weren't actually that good at being parents. He just thinks that this is how all parents act, and to be honest being in the Cornley Drama Society hasn't really proven this theory wrong.

(Also Rennis exists. Do I know much about him? No. But he's important. Trust me.)

Max:

Max's family gives me "uptight old money family" vibes, and I feel like growing up he didn't fully feel like he fit in. I also headcanon him as being/having (idk) AUDHD and considering that I once again don't feel like a strict family was perhaps the most comforting and supportive environment. But still he tries to be around his family as much as possible in hope that it will make them closer, but honestly he is probably closer with his aunt than his actual parents. Sibling wise I think he has two older siblings, on sister and one brother, who are both probably a lot closer with their parents than Max is. When they were quite young they behaved quite similarly but as they grew older both of Max's older siblings stepped into a more responsible role and they grew apart from Max.

Sandra:

Sandra definitely strikes me as one of those girls who grew up in a household with just brothers and felt like she kind of had to fight for attention. I think she's probably the youngest, or at least like second youngest since I think she probably has like five brothers. Growing up I think she kind of had to fight quite a lot for her parents attention and that theatre was kind of an attempt to get that attention. Like if she succeeded she would finally be given just a sliver of that attention that her brothers basked in all of her life. And this has resulted in her not being very close with her brothers, and actually resenting them a bit which is something she feels quite bad about cause she knows that it's not their fault. Her and her family still meet quite a lot, but even as an adult Sandra tends to feel quite ignored. I think that this is 100% a thing that she and Robert, and also subconsciously Chris, bonded over.

Jonathan:

I'm kind of pending a bit between two ideas when it comes to Jonathans relationship to his family:

Jonathan is an only child but who is and has always been very neglected by his parents to the point where he often wonders if they even remember that he exists

He has an insane amount of siblings, like six or seven, and is one of the middle ones. Once again this leads to him being extremely neglected by his parents and once again wondering if they even remember his existence.

But either way I don't think his parents were all too good.

Also if we go with the second headcanon I think that that would have led to a similar relationship to his siblings as the one that Sandra has, where he kind of resents them for getting all of the attention growing up, and this was probably something he and Sandra bonded over.

Vanessa:

Vanessa strikes me as the type of person who endlessly defends her parents even thought they weren't the best. I feel like they were quite absent, both literally and metaphorically. When they were there they were "okay", but that was honestly so rare that it's not enough to attribute them the title of "good parents". But nonetheless Vanessa still defends them, and when someone tells her that they weren't good parents she kind of dismisses her experience and says that "others have it worse". She just in general strikes me as the type of person to ignore most of her issues because in her opinion she doesn't have it bad enough. Also gives me major only child vibes. I think her whole family relationship was something that she and Chris really bonded over, cause they had a lot of similar experiences but they're also both too deep in denial to accept that their parents are actually in the wrong. So instead they bond over their "normal" family experiences and the fact that they think it's weird that everyone else thinks that their parents suck.

Annie:

I think Annie's parents got divorced when Annie had already moved out, and her dad then got re-married and had a new kid that is now like twenty years younger than Annie which she finds quite strange and a bit uncomfortable. I think they probably still care a lot about their half-siblings and is very caring and nurturing but does find it quite odd to be so much older. On top of that I don't think her dad was there a lot when she was a kid so she feels quite distant from him and doesn't have a great relationship with him, and this got even worse when he got new kids and she saw how much more present he was with them in comparison to her (just thinking about the quote/monologue in The Good Place when Eleanor talks about her mum, "I just wasn't worth changing for"). So I think Annie probably has a lot more close relationship with their mum. Sibling wise she only has one sibling, her half-sister, who is really young (I don't know what age the Cornley Drama Society members are so I'm not sure what's reasonable).

Trevor:

Sibling wise I think Trevor is probably the oldest of three, one of his siblings being his younger sister named Tessa and the other one being his younger brother named Dale (who was mentioned on the in-character twitter account that Rob Falconer had for Trevor). His parents got divorced when Trevor was like twelve and his dad left a little while after that and none of them have seen him in years. His mum was pretty strict when they were growing up and Trevor essentially tried rebelling in a quite constricting household by striking out and doing things that he actively knew that his mother disapproved of. It's also canon that his mother cut contact with him and I feel like this is a consequence of Trevor not fitting into her box, and I think she probably cut contact with her other children as well. Then as she got older she developed several different medical conditions that resulted in Trevor and his siblings having to check in on her quite a lot, which is something she resents and actively tries to avoid so she'll sometimes just disappear and essentially runs away so she doesn't have to see her kids. Long story short: He doesn't have good parents either.

[tan1shere]

Baby I could slow down

Ellie Williams x female reader !

A/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for far too long and I had no idea what to do until I was talking with a friend and she helped a bit, so enjoy !!

Summary: Ellie had been your tattoo artist for a bit, you hadn't gotten many tattoos in the past and if you did it wasn't anything huge. But you decided you wanted to get a tramp stamp, til things get heated.

Warnings: smut, mdni. Mirror sex, glove fixation ??? Bit filthy 😇 soft dom Ellie DUH this is me, I'm a soft dom Ellie fanatic. And sub, but kinda confident reader-? Ok that's all 😁

Masterlist

It was becoming an addiction. One tattoo was leading to 3, 6. So on and so on. You had a few tattoos already, but you decided today was the day you got a tramp stamp, you had been wanting one for some time. Only now were you going through with it. You have been going to the same artist since your first tattoo ever. She was your favorite not only was she good at her job but she was hot. And I mean hot. Everyone who knew of her thought the same thing. But she never would look at them like you. You were thankfully a tad blinded by it. Ofcourse you felt slight tension whenever you'd go, but you'd never think much of it. Until today.

You were wearing a white shirt that was tight to your skin, thin. Alongside some black jeans. It was later in the evening and you were her last for the day, which was usually the case, you would always go in the afternoon. You step through the doors, everything was quiet and it was just Ellie there. "Knock knock." You say, soon after seeing her come into the room. "Hey you." She grins slightly. You set your things down going over to the long flat table. "So a tramp stamp huh?" You nod. "Been wanting one for awhile actually." She grabs her black gloves. And you don't know what comes over you but the way she snaps it onto her hands makes you weak in the knees. You swallow, beginning to lay on your stomach on the black leather. "Haven't been in for awhile." She states, grabbing her supplies. You look infront of you, realizing the mirror was right there.

None of the tats youd get involved laying on your stomach. Ellie comes over, taking a moment looking at your curves, the way your lower back dipped as you prompted yourself on your forearms. Her gloved hands come to your sides slowly running along them, lifting your shirt in the process. Only a tiny bit before she goes to your jeans pulling them down just a smidge as you had high rise on, to get to your lower back. "This is going to look so good on you." She compliments. You felt heat rise to your cheeks. You had been just getting yourself sorted that you hadn't noticed there was quiet music going on in the background. Ellie places the stencil on your skin, making sure it was placed good. Once that was all sorted.

She begins to start the pen up, you hear the vibrations. Getting ready for the slight pinchy sting. But in all honesty, it wasn't that painful usually. Her lingering touches on your sides felt nice, in a way almost teasing. "The butterfly suits you." You bit your lip slightly. And this woman looks up for a second, into the mirror. Noticing the action. You didn't dare look back. Everything was quiet in the room, the air filled with something flirty. It was starting to drive you insane.

Eventually there was some small talk, she'd ask about life recently and you did the same. Catching up from the last time you had come in. Her hands softly touch your skin, bringing the needle into your skin. It stung a tiny bit but by now you were use to it. "Comfortable?" She asks. You nod slightly. "Yeah it's easing up the more I come." You look up and in the mirror to see her smiling, yet still focusing on the tattoo. "Glad you come back to me so often." You bit your lip a little. "Yeah course, you're the best at what you do." Her smile turns into a slight grin. "Oh yeah?" That made your heart skip a beat, the way her voice was right now. You wanted to squirm but you knew you had to stay still. Which made Ellie want to tease you even more, knowing you could do nothing. The thought rolled around her brain driving her a little crazy. Her fingers lightly brush your side as she gets a different angle.

Things were quiet, you could feel the slight tension tho. The hand that was on your side now Moves to rest on the curve of your ass. Your eyes go wide at how casually she does the action. It was hot regardless. "Don't mind my hand love, just trying to find the right position." You swallow. "No thats- fine." She lets out a slight chuckle at how rushed that came out. "Just gotta get myself comfortable y'know?" You bit your lip, harder this time. You had to stay calm you couldn't make any movements. But it's as if she was testing you. You peer at her through the mirror infront of you, until you realized the needle had stopped for a second. She was looking right back at you. Your eyes locked for a good minute, when you let out a breath. "Nervous?" She blurts out. You're silent. You're afraid if you open your mouth you might moan. That just makes you shake your head out of that thought. You needed to be the one to focus because Jesus Christ.

"No, just-" But you had no idea how to cover that breath up. Fuck fuck fuck. Was this embarrassing or what. "Going too fast?" That confused you slightly, almost making you choke on your own spit. "With the tattoo darling." Oh. Your eyes blink a few time. "Uhm, yeah just a little.." Great save. She noticed how silent you were all of a sudden. "Baby, I could slow down if that's what you need me to do?" Your eyes meet in the mirror again. "Since this is bigger than you're use to." There was a slight smirk evident on her face. She knew exactly what she was doing. Wording things in such a way. "Uhm, it's ok just new to this, yeah- bigger than what I'm uhm. Use to." She just chuckles again, looking back down at the tattoo. But her focus was more on the way your back was arched. Her brain let it travel to all these thoughts. What it'd be like to see her fucking you from behind, especially with this tattoo. But that wasn't professional, was it Ellie? You let your eyes go away from the mirror, looking down at your hands.

Fuck it. She thought. She was almost done with it anyways. "Well. Whoever gets to be the one seeing this from behind is lucky. Very lucky." - "All done." She then says, to which you move sitting up. "Too bad no one gets to." You say. Ellie was sly, making sure you weren't involved with anyone by that statement. "Huh.. Shame." Your eyes meet yet again, but not before you turn your ass slightly to get a better look at it. You smile wide. "Oh my God I love it!" You beam. "Good good." She goes to clean up, about to take her gloves off when you stop her. "Wait- keep them on." She was a little shocked at the sudden request but did so anyway. You felt bold all of a sudden. "Maybe there's one person who could enjoy looking at it.. From behind." Her smirk grew. "Oh yeah? Who might that be?" You slowly stride closer. "Maybe the one who did it." She looks up at you from her seat, lust peeking through her green eyes.

Was she really going to go through with this. I mean this is her place, she could do what she liked. And it's not like she didn't know you at all. She was still looking at you. So were you, but your eyes traveled to her hands, her own tattoo. Good lord. She soon noticed making her smirk a bit with pride. She liked the way she affected you. She subtly moves her fingers around, she had it resting on her thigh. But since you were watching why not have a little fun. Her arm shortly flexes, making her slight veins stick out. You could feel your breathing getting heavier, you needed it. Needed her. Your eyes meet hers again, when suddenly she's reaching out. Grabbing the back of your thighs and swiftly pulling you onto her lap. Your breath got caught in your throat as you weren't expecting it. Her lips were immediately on yours. This kiss was well needed and hungry.

"Ever since you first came in here I've been wanting to do that." You bit your lip again, looking down at hers. "I think you should totally do it again." And she did instantly. Keeping her hands gently on your waist. "Get back on the table." She says slightly out of breath. "Only if you keep those gloves on." You smirk a lil, making her smirk too. "Yes ma'am." You try not to giggle like a pathetic little looser as she says that, getting back on the table. Her hand came in contact with your jeans before you do, yanking them down. You turn your head to look at her. She examines your body fully. "This will be fun." You smile more getting on the cushion table again. "Everytime I come for a tattoo I always wish we could do something.." You admit.

It boosts her ego crazily. She wastes no time taking your underwear off, gently pulling your legs so you're closer to her. "Mmmm." She let's out lowly. Your head lifts, looking at her in the mirror. "Want you to keep looking into it, want you to watch your face as I fuck you." You felt yourself clench around nothing, getting incredibly desperate for this now. You watch as she undoes her pants, getting out what you've been craving. "Matches the gloves, huh." Her voice made you wetter, and the thought made you close your eyes. She moves over your body grabbing a fistful of your hair, making you reopen your eyes. "What'd I say." Her voice was soft, laced with demand. "You bit your lip even harder. "To look in the mirror as you fuck me." She hums. "Good." You could feel the tip waiting to be slipped in. She does, shortly. Painfully slow if you might add. But once it was all in, you arch your back. Begging for more of it. "Haven't even moved yet babe." But you didn't care at all. You needed this. Now.

"Please." You breath, and it makes Ellie go crazy. She begins to move and not slowly either. In fact it was faster than you had anticipated. She was just as eager as you tho, the way your back arched, the way the tattoo looked. Your curves. She was loving this all too much. You look at her through the mirror, her eyes were looking at your body until then she met yours in the mirror. "Hear how wet you are? You had been wanting this huh?" You finally let out a moan, trying not to be too loud. "God you're so fine, glad you wanted this tat you look so hot with it. Especially in this position." It was her turn to bite her lip, watching as you moved on the strap too. It was intoxicating how this was all making you feel. "I'm so close." You blab, which made her speed up. Your eyes roll back, Ellie swears she could just cum at the sight of you in the mirror. The strap moving in a way that it gets her clit nice, making her groan and speed up again. "You look so good, shit."

Moans, grunts. Whines, were all that could be heard as you both come closer to your release. "Ellie i-" you were cut off by yet another moan. "I know, feel you clenching, mph. You're getting tighter." Your eyes never leave the mirror, and now so do hers. The latex of the gloves come in contact with your hips, sending you into overdrive as this gives her a better chance at slamming into you. You let out a cry of her name as you finally cum around her, Ellie looses it at the sight, the speed hitting her clit still making her cum along with you. All to be heard was heavy breaths. "It's free." She breathes out huskily.

[pacifymebby]

Maybe an imagine for the Peaky Blinders where at some point they got intimate with their girlfriend in the boys’ office and while they were distracted she put her underwear in his gun cabinet. Would love to know how they react when they’re just sitting at their desk and they go to reach for it one day and just find a really sexy pair of undies in there as well😂

I have been writing this for so so so so so so so so so long I think it was one of the first requests I got back in November and I'm so sorry it's taken me this long. It's been sitting in my drafts for months. But here it is, this was actually so much fun to write and I really enjoyed it. I just needed to be in a specific mood to write it i think? I really hope you're still here on my blog anon and that u finally get to enjoy the request :'(

Tommy

🌿 Tommy is only mildly surprised to find your underwear in the draw of his desk. You're always getting up to no good, trying to push his buttons... You're a little minx really, always trying to get his attention... So this is exactly the kind of thing you might do...

🌿He knows exactly why you did it too... Since getting into politics he's had to spend more and more time away from home, always on trips to London, never at home, with you... He knows he's been neglecting you

🌿So, he sends for you, calls you into his office quite calmly. "Sit down y/n..." he says nodding to the chair opposite him.

🌿You're a little uncertain, he looks so stern and serious that you're getting more and more nervous the longer he makes you sit in silence. You're definitely in trouble, that much you can tell...

🌿But you don't know for certain that he's found your underwear until he takes them out of the drawer and drops them in front of you on the desk.

🌿"Y/N, what are these?" the way hes looking at you through his spectacles, so calm and yet stern... You squirm and stutter your response suddenly nowhere near as confident as you had felt when you left them there...

🌿"Um... Well, uh... My um... My underwear i guess?" "You guess?" "No uh... I know Tommy..."

🌿"Right, alright..." he nods and for a moment when he flashes you half a smile and lets out a little breathy laugh you think thats all the torment he's going to put you through... But of course not. This is Tommy we're talking about.

🌿"Alright y/n, and what is your underwear doing in my desk among my tax documents and memos?" "I uh..." "Come on love speak up we haven't got all day..." "Because I put them there Tommy..." You're already blushing deep red, you're embarassed and he's really enjoying making you squirm.

🌿If he's telling the truth he loves that you did it, gives him an excuse to torture you now, force you to admit how much you want him... Something which he obviously loves to hear. Watching you squirm really tuns him on...

🌿"Oh okay, alright, alright... And y/n,why did you do that?"

🌿 You're speechless now, so embarrassed, you can't believe he's really forcing you to admit it but you know he won't let you go or give you what you really want until you do as he's asking and spell it out for him.

🌿You're just not really the kind of girl that does things like this and though it might have been thrilling to do something bad and out of character, you're remembering who you really are - a good, sweet girl - and suddenly you're regretting your little trick.

🌿 "I.. I guess well, you've been so busy lately Tommy I just... I didn't want you to forget about me you know..." you trail off offering him a shy but seductive little smirk. You really want to keep playing coquette but he's really put you in your place and you're not sure now whether he's going to give you what you want or just keep torturing you.

🌿"Right..." he nods before telling you to get up, "Alright y/n now answer me this eh? Come here and answer me this..." he says quiet and intense, running his hands down your arms, taking your hands in his and pulling you down to meet his gaze. He has you bent right over his desk in the most submissive position... You can hardly breath.

🌿"Do you really think you're so easy to forget?" you can hardly speak, just shaking your head slightly, your breath caught in your throat as he tugs you down to kiss you.

🌿 He stands up, letting you go, leaving you feeling let down and if you're being honest, a little confused. You thought he wanted you? For a moment it really looked like you'd played into his lustful side...

🌿 He warns you not to play childish games with him, that in future if you want something you behave like an adult and you come and ask him for it. "Sometimes angel, when you want somet from me, you say please eh? Remember that word sweetheart..."

🌿Fucks you on his desk anyway... "Thoight you might like playing the bad girl eh angel? You want me to show you how I treat those girls?" his low murmur sends a shiver down your spine and when he sinks his teeth teasingly into your neck you can't breath.

🌿Tommy was always going to fuck you on his desk. From the second he'd felt the soft lace in his hands he'd known what he wanted to do to you.

🌿He just wanted to make you squirm first.

Alfie

🐻 He's surprised by you, other young ladies he might expect this from but not you, not his sweet little zieskiet who has the heart mind and soul of an angel. Who is usually always so well behaved...

🐻 It doesn't help that when he discovers your little memento he's in the middle of an intense meeting with Tommy Shelby.

🐻 Tommy thinks he has the upper hand, thinks he's charmed his way into Alfie's trust once again but Alfie's hand has slipped to the drawer in his desk where his fingers skim the surface of the gun he keeps concealed there...

🐻 But where he expects to find cool metal he finds soft silk and lace instead and his heart begins to race as memories of the afternoon before when he'd called you into his office flicker through his mind like a naughty film...

🐻 For the first time ever Tommy witnesses Alfie Solomons speechless. Sure the moment doesn't last long, but for a second there Tommy catches a strange look in Alfie's eyes, like he's genuinely stunned... He's probably lulled into a false sense of security, thinking he's the reason Alfie's quietly struggling to swallow a lump in his throat.

🐻 But Alfie just sweeps the underwear to one side for later, tskes the gun out and rushes Tommy through the deal, hurrying him out the door, grumpy and impatient so that he can go home to you.

🐻 When Alfie comes home that night he's playing the "everythings as it always is" act, grumbling to you about the lads in the bakery, grumbling to you about something clumsy Ollie did earlier thst day... You're listening but only a little as you shape the bread you're baking. You're don't look at him until he says something that surprises you...

🐻 "Oh, oh yeah right, right i almost forgot, yeah, silly me eh, almost forgot these..." he says producing your lacy underwear and dangling them from the tip of his finger.

🐻 When you turn around to see what he's holding you're shocked. You drop the knife thats in your hand and it clatters on the floor. You shouldn't bd surprised, you only left them there the day before, but somehow your strange out of character whim had completely left your mind.

🐻 "Oh..." you say your hand raised to your mouth... Alfie's still just holding them out, the scandalous garment just dangling between you, you blushing at the memory of your time together. Him waiting, stern expression, for you to take them from him.

🐻 "Oh..." he says watching you, wondering if you know you're in trouble or not... You've turned the most adorable shade of red and he's already struggling to hold his grumbling resolve. "Yeah," he says, "oh..." "Thats what I thought an all when I found em earlier right, I though 'oh" he holds his hand to his mouth mocking your earlier gesture... Making thst blush of yours all the worse because you can't tell if you're being teased or if he's really quite cross with you..

🐻 "An you know what yeah poppet? I showed em to Tommy fuckin Shelby yeah and you know he said 'oh' too, just like that yeah 'oh'..." now you know he's trying to make you squirm, trying to tease you. Because you know theres no way your Alfie would ever show another man something as private as your underwear.

🐻 You smile nervously, your blush and your shy giggle as you bite down to try and stifle it too much for Alfie to maintain any temper he might have been trying to build up.

🐻 Instead he steps up to you, traps you between the cupboards and his body, holding your underwear right up to your face, the lacy garment dangling right by your cheek, silk brushing your skin.

🐻 "These my little zieskiet, these yeah are a very dangerous object, and you right, you're a very good girl yeah, so you my dear, you should not be leaving these, dangerous things yeah, you should not be leaving dangerous things like this lying around right, cause you never know who's gonna find em..."

🐻 "Well that's why i left them in your drawer..." you say quietly, your biting on the tip of your thumb, looking at him so sweetly that its hard to imagine you could have done something as tempting as this.

🐻 "Yeah," he says, "yeah you did didn't you... Tell me poppet, cause theres somethin I'd quite like to know right, somethin thst interests me a great ammount... Why yeah, why would a sweet little girl like you do somethin like that?"

🐻 You would be so shy and blushy, you absolutely wouldn't know what to tell him, your voice abandoning you as you look back at him with doe eyes, biting on the tip of your thumb. When you try to look away he takes your chin in his hand and steers your view back to him.

🐻"Remember my dear little zieskiet, we don't keep secrets me an you? Nah, we don't have no secrets..."

🐻 He knows what you want and he's definitely just teasing you because his favourite thing in the whole world is to watch how you melt like butter for him. How you'll tell him anything he asks, do anything he asks, all he has to do is stroke your cheek and look you in the eyes.

🐻 Honestly he thought he was cross with you for distracting him at a crucial moment but now he's face to face with you, now he's got one hand on your waist the other holding your neck delicately, all he wants to do is reward you for your bad behaviour...

🐻 "Think you'd better pop yourself down over papa's lap..." you think he's going to spank you but when your eyes go wide he just chuckles, tells you not to look so worried...

🐻 Fingers you within an inch of your life whilst you're laid across his lap and then makes you promise him that next time you want his attention you'll just ask.

🐻 "Oh an poppet, promise me yeah, promise me you'll give me a little warning next time you try to play a trick like that... Don't like surprises me..." He's practically telling you to do it again.

🐻 when hes finished with you he'll give you your underwear back and then watch you put it back on in front of him. You want to hate his triumphant little smirk but you're still shaking from your high and when you've done as he asked he welcomes you back into his arms for a cuddle and tells you (almost) all about how your little trick nearly interrupted a crucial business meeting.

Arthur

🍂 He had been about to kill a man. That he was sure of. Seething with rage, red in the face with a hatred burning in him, that infamous formidable temper hazing his mind, taking over so that in 30 seconds time he wouldn't be Arthur Shelby anymore. He'd be the animal he fought with every day.

🍂 He'd stormed through the house on Watery Lane to the cabinet he kept his guns but when he'd thrown the doors open, practically frothing at the mouth, eyes narrowed and searching only for a weapon with which to destroy the man in question... When he threw open those doors he found a pair of your silky panties artfully wrapped around the barrel of his firearm.

🍂 Suddenly the man in question was the last thing on his mind. His temper wasn't quelled, all that anger and adrenaline was still buzzing around inside his body... He needed an outlet, something or someone to take it out on, lay into... But he couldn't think of anyone else in that moment. Not now he'd seen your underwear. Not now he'd been graced by a flash of memory, your naked body spread beneath him, your eyes rolled back in ecstacy as he'd fucked you the night before...

🍂 So his attention was diverted and a man's life has inadvertantly been saved because now rather than vengeance Arthur is only hungry for you...

🍂 He spends a little time hunting you down, searching around the house and then around the town looking in all your usual haunts. However he finds you exactly where he wants you. Sitting in his chair at his desk in the office down the factory.

🍂 "You," he says when he sees you, his eyes narrowed on you as he takes in the sight of you. How pretty you are, how innocent you're trying to look. It drives him wild and he can barely control his breathing as he locks the door shut behind him and pulls down the blind, "fuckin stand up when I'm talkin to you sweetheart..." He growls snatching at your wrist, pulling you to your feet.

🍂 he's rough with you but honestly that's what you wanted... Arthur's always trying to be on his best behaviour around you and the idea of sparking his temper, of having him be a little rougher with you.. it excites you more than you want to admit.

🍂 he pushed you back against his desk until you're perched just on the edge and when he steps between your legs, your feet hovering just above his shoes, he takes his revolver out and points it at you. You're nervous, your breath catching in your throat as you look up at him with wide, not quite timid eyes. You're starting to wonder if you've bitten off more than you can chew.

🍂 he uses his gun to push your dress slowly up your thigh, you can't take your eyes off it, the cool metal on your skin shivering you, causing goosebumps to ripple over your arms.

🍂 "You are in so much trouble..." He growls, "you don't wanna know how much fuckin trouble you're in y/n... No you don't..."

🍂 "Fuckin look at me eh love, when I'm talkin to you you fuckin look at me..." You're so nervous and the way his voice comes out gravelly and thick with adrenaline, the way you can hear his rage in every word makes you scared you might have gone too far, that you really are in as much trouble as he says you are...

🍂 he uses the barrel of his gun to push your chin up holding it there digging into you to force you to look him in the eyes when he's talking to you. You're trembling with nerves and sexual desire and he can see both your fear and your lust right there on your face. "Not so innocent now are you darlin..." He growls as he rubs his rough hands up over your thighs pushing your dress right up to reveal you...underwearless, legs spread, the sheen of your arousal catching his eye.

🍂 he can't get his belt undone quick enough but when he's dropped his trousers around his ankles he grabs you almost violently pulling you towards the edge of the desk, entering you suddenly, the shock displaced with pleasure almost immediately as he growls into your ear and starts thrusting in and out of you quickly.

🍂 his movements are sharp and desperate and he's fucking you in a way he's never fucked you before. It's divine, exactly what you'd hoped for.

🍂 "y'see sunshine a man was gonna die tonight right, I was on my way to fuckin kill him when I found your little fuckin surprise..." He growls as he's fucking you, you're so dizzy with pleasure that all you can do is moan in response clutching at his hair for your dear life. Your legs squeezing his waist so tightly as you shake and he manoeuvres you on his cock.

🍂 "Fuck," he groans, "I was gonna fuckin kill him and these fuckin things were the only thing that stopped him yeah so I reckon that must make you some kind of fuckin angel... Doin god's work eh? What kind of angel goes round saving lives with her cunt eh?"

John

🌼 Would be absolutely delighted. All his Christmases have come at once and he can't keep the grin off his face... can't and doesn't want to be subtle even if there's someone else in the office with him.

🌼 In fact if there is someone else in the office with them he'll definitely flaunt the fact that his girlfriend's 'forgotten' her underwear. He's so childish'y smug about it and he can't wait to get home to you.

🌼 He'd have them hung from his finger, slung over his shoulder as he leaves the office early, waving them in explanation when Isaiah shouts after him asking where he's going. Then as the office door swings shut behind him he'd tuck them into his pocket for safekeeping, whistling as he walks home.

🌼 You have put him in such a good mood, theres a real spring in his step and his mind is buzzing with all the thoughts of what he'll do when he gets home to you.

🌼 he'll come in having decided he's going to tease you, play a little trick on you. He'll call through the house for you with a real urgent tone to his voice as if something is seriously the matter...

🌼 and when he finds you sitting in the nursery with one of your friends and the children he'll put on this grave expression, apologise to your friend and send them away.

🌼 "I'm really sorry sweetheart but this can't wait and I need y/n," "God what's the matter John, the family? Is everything okay?" You'd be so worried asking him all sorts of questions but he wouldn't give you an answer until your friend has hurried out the door and you've put the little one in their crib.

🌼 then he'd turn to you, still with those serious, worrisome eyes, he'd place both hands on your cheeks and hold you carefully, looking as if he were about to break the worst news... "I'm sorry for ruining your day flower, if it could have waited you know I would have waited..."

🌼 you're almost panicking now getting more and more anxious by the second, "John what is it just tell me what's happened!" You beg and just like that he relaxes, grin spread across his face as he shrugs.

🌼 "Oh nothing major, don't fret flower... You just forgot these is all..." He says with a cheeky grin as he takes the underwear from his pocket and dangles them in front of your face by the tip of his fingers. He looks so unbelievably proud of himself you could honestly slap him.

🌼 if he wasn't so attractive you would definitely slap him... Instead you just stare back at him in disbelief, you try to get annoyed with him, "For fuck sake John you scared me!" You exclaim but you can't finish the sentence without letting out a little giggle.

🌼 "So..." He says lowering his voice, getting closer to you, his hand on your hip pulling your body in close to his, "if you left your underwear in my office this morning..." He starts, his breath warm on your cheek as he leans in to whisper in your ear, "what're you wearin under this dress?" "Why don't you take it off me and find out..."

🌼 So then he realises you definitely didn't just forget your underwear. The naive 'ad had kind of thought it a mistake, hadn't really thought you capable of playing such a wicked little trick but now he's realised your games, how you're more trickst than he'd first imagined he's actually very proud of the fact.

🌼 he'd pick you up, your legs wrapping around his waist and carry you to the bedroom, throwing you down on the bed where he'd crawl above you, looking down at you full of pride and mischief.

🌼 "So you were playin tricks with me were you flower?" He'd ask, his tone making you squirm and giggle, making you feel teenage and playful and like you might be in the best kind of trouble. You'd try to wriggle away from him, he's got that look in his eyes like he's about to either tickle you to death or fuck you hard and you can't tell which...

🌼 "hang on a minute flower where dya think you're going?" He chuckles stopping you going anywhere with just his hand on your shoulder pushing you into the mattress.

🌼 uses your underwear to tie your hands behind your back so you can't escape him. Then fucks you until you're exhausted, your hips aching from having your legs spread for so long... But you've come so many times you have that warm, all over tingle and when you finally collapse into eachothers arms you can't wipe the smiles off your faces.

🌼 it's going to start some kind of game between you, the two of you trying to outdo one another with mischievous little acts. But John always loves it whenever you leave something intimate of yours in his office and now you know you'll be rewarded for it you do it more often.

Bonnie

🍀 You'd been in his dressing room with him before his big fight, wishing him good luck. You always worry about him before he goes into the ring but you're also really proud of him, and there's something about being alone with him in the changing rooms before he goes out that really turns you on.

🍀 You run your hands over his chest, taking in the sight of him unscathed for the last time, and try to contain your desire. You find him so attractive when he's in the ring and you always let him know. It boost his ego and makes him walk out there twice as cocky.

🍀When you kiss him goodbye you give him a real, deep snog, one hand in his hair, the other hanging your lace black underwear from the gym peg behind your boys head. You want him to have a surprise for when he returns later triumphant.

🍀 He doesnt notice them when he's leaving for the ring, too in the zone, focussing and firing himself up - and your kiss certainly helped fire him up.

🍀All through the fight you're cheering him on just as you always would and Bonnie feels absolutely champion even when he's on the recieving end of a few nasty blows. He knows his little dove is in the crowd watching him and that makes him fight twice as hard because he loves showing off to you.

🍀 When Bonnie wins the fight you're delighted, you jump out of your seat and scream triumphantly for him. Blowing him a kiss when he looks over to you, his bloody grin far more attractive than it should be.

🍀 When he returns to the changing room victorious he's greeted by the Peaky Blinders and his dad, all of them congratulating him. Tommy is very impressed with his work and wants to discuss the next match with him but when something catches Bonnie's eye he follows the younger lads gaze and smirks, rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

🍀Because Bonnie is blushing a deep shade of red. The poor boy is so surprised he's speechless and Tommy can tell Bonnie hasn't heard a word of what's been said since he clocked your underwear hanging from that peg by the benches.

🍀"Alright lads c'mon lets leave our champion to cool off eh, looks to me like he's expecting company..." Tommy is still smirking and his overly casual tone as he draws everyone's attention to the underwear in question makes poor Bonnie even more embarrassed and awkward.

🍀There's a lump in his throat he's struggling to swallow down and all he can think about is you. He manages to stammer out a goodbye, promises to meet them in an hour down the garrison but Arthur laughs and shakes his head, "Nah you won't," he grins, "nah you fucking won't!"

🍀And Arthur's right, the only thing Bonnie will be doing in an hour's time is well, you.

🍀He is so turned on by your little trick that when he sees you he can barely contain his desire for you. He's usually pretty bad after a fight, all that adrenaline coursing through his veins but today he's even more fired up than usual and when you slip into his changing rooms and find him alone, he's got his hands on you in seconds.

🍀he does not want to wait for you to clean him up like you usually do and when you take a warm cloth and begin dabbing at his bloody lip and the cut on his brow he wraps his arms around you and pulls you down into his lap, grinning and teasing you, kissing your cheek and nuzzling into you, making it very difficult for you to do your job.

🍀You giggle trying to brush him off, though secretly really enjoying seeing how desperate for you he is.

🍀"Bonnie sit still, you're making this really difficult," you smile trying to dab at his brow, missing because he's ducked his head to kiss your neck and has already begun to undo the laces that hold your dress together at the back. His nimble fingers are making quick work of loosening them and you know you need to clean him up quickly because the second he's slipped your sleeves from your shoulders you're doomed.

🍀And in the end Bonnie wins and you're forced to accept that you'll just have to wait to clean him up later. He's got other plans for you just now.

🍀Will hold you down in his lap, a really energetic needy fuck before lifting you up and fucking your roughly against the wall. Even though he's going hard he still manages to be careful with you, making sure to hold your head in his hand to stop you bashing it against the wall etc...

🍀He doesn't tire quickly and honestly, your little surprise has given him more of a rush than winning that fight.

🍀Neither of you make it to the Garrison for those drinks and poor bonnie winds up on the recieving end of a lot of ribbing from the other lads. Whenever they bring it up he blushes and gets embarrassed but no matter how many times they ask he never shares the details of what happened after they left.

Isaiah

🐀 Is quietly impressed by your devious little game. He sees them in the drawer strewn artfully over his revolver and he smirks, closing the drawer shut again as if he hasn't even seen them.

🐀 He's biding his time see, playing the long game, dragging the desire out for as long as he can. He wants to wait long enough that you will have forgotten all about it. Or at least until you've come to the disappointing conclusion that he found your little surprise and didn't care about it, wasn't even remotely bothered by it...

🐀 And when weeks go by without him so much as mentioning them, without him even hinting at having found the little gift you left for him that's the conclusion that you come to. That he wasn't bothered, that he thought it was embarrassing and childish, that he doesn't even want to mention it because he thought it was classless and foolish and he'd rather forget all about it.

🐀 Meanwhile Isaiah is enjoying having your underwear in his drawer at work, whenever he has to reach in his drawer for his revolver he feels the black lacy pants there too and smirks. He can't wait to remind you about your naughty little trick... When he's bored at work he opens the drawer to look at them and imagine what he's going to do with you when he finally makes his move.

🐀 And then just as you've vowed you'll never make a stupid mistake like that again, just when you've decided never to behave so foolishly again... He'll have a surprise for you all of his own...

🐀 One night when it's just the two of you, in his room, fucking he catches you out.

🐀 He's on top, his cock deep inside you and your eyes are closed, your lips parted as he fucks you hard, you're right on the edge, your body shivering beneath him, your hands clutching at the sheets as you roll over into an orgasm.

🐀 And then when you moan he shoves your underwear into your open mouth and shocks you with them.

🐀 Your eyes open wide in shock uncertain what he's just put in your mouth and when he leans down, his nose brushing yours, his eyes lit up with mischief, clearly very pleased with himself, and grins down at you, "you lose these?" You feel your cheeks flush crimson. But you can't hide or look away because he's got you pinned down and he's still fucking you, his hands either side of your head, arms rippling.

🐀 All you can do is look up at him, and because you can't shy away, because you're forced to face up to the moment you're forced to acknowledge how much it turns you on... So your only response when he talks to you is your needy moans.

🐀 "Whats the matter mousy, did you think I'd just thrown them out?"

🐀 he will tease you about it relentlessly, loves trying to embarrass you, likes watching you go bright red. But in reality he loves this naughty side of you and he wants to encourage it, so when you threaten him one day, "if you keep teasing me I shan't do it again," he backtracks very fast.

Michael

☘️ In New York, you're his other woman and you're jealous. Hes been spending far too much time with Gina lately, sure you know they're the real deal, you're just his honey on the side but still... You should still get a taste of your man every once in awhile.

☘️ So you slip them between a stack of invoices and stock reports and send them up to his office. You may or may not be aware that his Gina is up there with him. That he's all snowed up, and she's going to be the one who takes the invoices and starts to filter through them...

☘️She's probably the one who phones up for you... Michael doesn't even realise whats going on until Gina has welcomed you into the office, studying you, asessing how much of a threat to her relationship you really are...

☘️ But when Michael sees you he panics, swallows a lump in his throat and scrambles to sit up and start paying attention..

☘️ "Whats this about love?" he says to Gina, "whats y/n doing here?" "Oh so you do know her name... Congratulations honey I guess you're more than just one of his whores huh?"

☘️ you feel a little bit like you've walked into a trap, like you've made a bed you're not actually capable of lying in, you're hardly even paying Michael any attention now, it's Gina who's your main concern. She invited you up here... What does she want with you? She certainly isn't looking at you like she's looking for a fight...

☘️ She's watching you expectantly, waiting for either you or Michael to speak up. Then she takes your underwear and tosses them to Michael who is so surprised by them that he drops them.

☘️ "What do you think honey, you think he remembers who they belong to? Tell us Michael baby, are they mine or are they hers..."

☘️ Michael would he totally speechless, he's looking between the two of you, thinking that this is some conspiracy against him but you're just as stunned as he is and you kind of feel like turning and running out of the door.

☘️ but when you make your excuses to leave and try to back out of the door, thinking it best to leave them to their inevitable fight Michael calls after you... "Y/N wait..." which makes Gina laugh.

☘️ "Yeah honey don't go," she says licking her lips wickedly, "the funs only just getting started..." She says teasingly, her eyes glowing with lust... But who for you can't tell anymore?

☘️ When she catches your hand in hers and tugs you back into the office your breath catches in your throat. But what she whispers in your ear leaves you speechless, your heart racing.

☘️ "C'mon y/n kiss me, let's see what he does next hmm?"

☘️ It would be an evening you will never forget.. Gina was only really dragging you into it so that she could get your measure, wanting to work out exactly how much of a threat you were... Wanting to use you to torment Michael. If he's fucking you then she wants to he too, he can't possibly be allowed to have something she hasn't got.

☘️And although Michael is quietly livid with you in the moment he can't control his own lust, his anger taken out on you when he lies you down on his desk and fucks you hard, your head between Gina's legs whilst she rides your mouth and smokes a cigarette casual as you like.

☘️ after that whenever you or Gina feel like a bit of fun you send your underwear up and down to one another slipped between memos. The three of you spend a lot of time in that office snowed up and fucking.

☘️ and although Michaels more than happy with the new arrangement he still makes sure to get you alone so that he can punish you for being so reckless.

☘️ he will bend you over his lap and spank you making you apologise with tears in your eyes as you promise never to be so careless again.

☘️ You will however be that careless again and he'll be more than happy with the consequences.

[hauntedrain]

F1 Drivers First Date Headcanons .ೃ࿐

✧*̥˚ Includes Charles, Max, and Oscar. *̥˚✧

✮▹A/N: IT'S BEEN FOREVER, and to be fair I didn't write this recently, it's been in my drafts. but I hope it's okay for now. I've been having a writing block for a long time and haven't had inspo to write anything. I can make more parts if requested.

✰▹Warnings/Notices: maybe unrealistic a bit, honestly kinda a shit post, fr tho not anything mad just fluff. NOT EDITED, NOT PROOFREAD.

Charles Leclerc ⋆୨୧˚

would definitely be really worried about the date. Not that he's scared about you or anything, but about if he planned the right thing, picked the right outfit, or something along those lines. He just wants to make a good "first impression".

He would be Facetiming/texting Pierre or Arthur every 10 minutes for confirmation and reassurance. "Be honest, do these pants make me look stupid. I can't have her thinking I'm stupid, and can't properly dress myself." He asks while fixing his hair for the 100th time on Facetime. " Charlie, if you're calling me this much then maybe, just maybe... You can't dress yourself properly." "Not funny, but for real. Is this fine?"

He would probably get even more nervous as he meets up with you or picks you up like would be messing with his bracelets, blushing or sheepishly smiling a lot. But after a while, he would calm down and get more confident being around you and talking to you.

He probably asks himself how he was even able to ask you out in the first place considering how nervous he is right now.

For the date idea, he would really want it to be something that you would enjoy. He would message you or ask your friends what your favorite things are and things to do.

Max Verstappen ✧.*

I think he would be more collected when talking about first dates, however, he would still be nervous about certain things. Would it go well? Is the only reason you like him for his title? What if it's really awkward?

But by the time he's there and starts talking to you those worries fade away and he starts to open up more and be more him. He would definitely not be able to keep a smile off his face after that.

I think the first date you guys would have is just talking over dinner, nothing too crazy, but he also wouldn't want to plan something boring so maybe you guys would do something afterward. Like a walk around a park or going into small stores on the way home? Idk but something that wouldn't just be a simple dinner.

I feel like during the first date, if he doesn't already know you, he tries to get to know you well. He wouldn't just be asking questions like "What your favorite color?", "Favorite season?", etc. Not that its inherently wrong to want to know but he wants something different, like knowing a deep passion or dream of yours. Or even memories and moments throughout your life. Something deeper.

Oscar Piastri *ೃ༄

I think he would want to do something more casual as a first date. Something like a picnic or going to a cafe. But at the end of the day if you just wanted a dinner somewhere he would be fine with that too.

I don't feel like he would be nervous like others are nervous for first dates, he would be more nervous about just going out and doing things than if the actual date goes well.

Like not freaking out about what to wear, or first impressions, but worrying if this is the right thing to do, or if the date plan was enough (kind of like how Charles cares about what the date was for you.)

Maybe brings a few flowers or something small, especially if you guys already knew each other. He would try a nice gesture but nothing to crazy, just something sweet and simple.

⭒❃.✮:▹A/N: It's been FOREVER since I posted actual writing. I apologize if this makes no sense or is stupid, this has been in my drafts forever and I never really went back over it before now. I've been out of ideas so plz request something! I will literally write for anyone about anything (in reason)

[hopetorun]

it's always harder to start a personal post than it feels like it'll be when i'm drafting it in my head while i wash the dishes. pushing through to ramble and navel-gaze anyway, though—

i've been thinking as the new year gets its legs under it about the effort i put in last year toward the goal of not being single. i didn't call it that, obviously. the actual spelled out goal was to do one singles or speed dating event per month and one volunteering event per month, which to be clear i came nowhere close to (i went to three speed dating events and three volunteering events and did one month of weekly swing dance classes). but i did do more than last year. and out of those three speed dating events i ended up going on two dates (with the same person). overall it was, diplomatically, pretty disheartening.

i'm going to keep trying, though i haven't decided exactly what that's going to look like in 2025. going out and doing things is expensive, and putting yourself out there without much to show for it is draining. even trying to buy cute clothes as a fat person is draining. i like the idea of trying to cultivate a larger social circles of weak ties, but in practice i'm pretty reserved when i'm alone in a crowd of new people. i'm starting to get the sense that it's easier to meet someone when you're already dating someone, like getting a job is easier when you already have a job. is it worth trying the horrid apps again, because at least they're less expensive, even if they're more draining? is this just what it's like trying to not be single when you're fat? am i just emanating lack of confidence in my dating prospects from every pore?

i'm giving myself january off, to fortify myself emotionally and think about how i'm going to take aim at this this year and because i want to have a low spend month and this shit adds up quick. unfortunately, thinking about it means thinking about it. and thinking about it kind of sucks!

there's this big part of myself that i've never had the opportunity to know, and i've really felt it lately. i can only take a guess at what i'm like in a relationship, what i'm like when i share my life with someone to that degree. the older i get, the more keenly i feel having never known that, and the more i doubt that i can even find room in my life for it. where do i fall on the i don't want somebody in my house to there's someone in my house and they love me spectrum?

when i was home over christmas, mom said something about me having kids (not in a pushy way, it was fine) and i said that i don't want to undertake single parenting. she, not unfairly, pointed out that that's always a risk of it. and she's right, of course, there is always a risk of a partner dying or leaving or needing to be left. she didn't change my mind, or even particularly open the door to me changing my mind, but it did make me additionally sad for another part of myself i might never get to know.

i don't really know where i'm going with this. thinking about my gratitude to all the writers i've read over the years who've been so clear that there really are no guarantees. thinking that many people look for love for years and years and never find it. that others find it later in life. too late for some things, perhaps, but not never. that it's this huge, important thing that i can't really control much at all. i can make an effort (even though making an effort often feels worse than not) and ... that's basically it. i can work on my tendency to be reserved in a crowd and take myself out to places where people meet people and beyond that ... hope for the best? kinda sucks.

a dear friend texted me the other day asking for me to be there for some of her wedding day activities. she's older than me, and met her wife (who's my age) in fandom. it's both heartening and not, you know? most of my friends met their spouses in college (that ship has sailed) or in fandom (i'm open to it but it's probably a long shot). some fell for a friend. a lot of my friends are just as single as me (though many of them are more content to stay that way).

i want to wrap this around to some kind of conclusion, and i don't think there is one. i haven't even really learned anything from a year of this. feeling unwanted sucks (i knew that), meeting someone to fall in love with is a crapshoot (i knew that), going out and doing things is expensive (i knew that). i hope i can come back to this post someday and have a way to tie it all back together and mean something. it doesn't feel likely right now.

[earl-grey-teacake]

How’d you get into writing? I have a few general ideas but have no idea how they would come to fruition 😭!

I got into writing fanfic because I really wanted to see certain things written out and to read them. I just felt this overwhelming need to write just so I could read it. It is very much "if you want to eat something, you have to make it yourself."

I know you are just asking how I got into it but I thought I would include my process in case you found it helpful. For background, I've been writing fanfic for 7 years. For a very long time, I was not good at writing. I learned English very close to the end of my critical period for language learning and struggled for over a decade before I got my footing. Through my own experiences and what I learned from school, I figured out how I prefer to go about write.

I am going to use First Fight from the Baby!Loscar AU as an example since it took me the longest to write. I came up with the idea in April but did not manage to finish it until August but I felt I improved my writing process a lot more.

The idea- which is the stage I think you are at. You have an idea and maybe a scene figured out but you haven't worked it out how this scene connects and how everything forms a whole story.

My idea was just " Logan and Oscar having their first big fight and not handling it well."

2. Write the most imperfect draft you can- I don't say rough draft because it makes people think that the next draft has to be a final draft. I genuinely mean imperfect. Grammar and punctuation? Does not matter. Formatting? Doesn't exist. Logic and cohesive timeline? Irrelevant. What you want is for all your thoughts and ideas to be on a page and it can be in any way you want. It can be bullet points, written scenes, summaries. Doesn't matter.

My imperfect draft was just this section of dialogue and it sat on my computer for months

“We are not friends! Go away!” Oscar had yelled.

“I don’t like you! I hate you!” Logan had yelled back.

“I hate you too!” Those were the last words spoken between them.

3. Know what you want to get across- This is your Northern star, it will guide you when you are lost. Dialogue, timelines, plot- all of those things are subject to change. What isn't going to change is the message you wanted to get across. What is your theme, your core?

For First Fight, it was "these kids do not handle being separated very well. They love each other, they had a misunderstanding, and now they refuse to apologize to each other. As a result they are suffering."

4. You write the roughest draft known to man- I mean very, very rough. Expand a a bit on your imperfect draft, write a couple more scenes you would like to see. They don't need to go together yet, they just need to be on paper. Write out every scene you would like to see play out.

This was Oscar and Logan refusing to play together, Oscar playing alone with Charles, and the ending where they reconcile.

5. Polish up those sections- I know people say to polish at the end and I also do that but making the scenes you wrote look nice will help you feel confident in your work. Include the descriptions, the formatting, the add that bit of sparkle to the dialogue. Figure out the writing style you want to write in and edit all the sections to fit that.

6. Lock in- This is the not so fun part. Pick a free day, get a drink. Now is the time to write everything in between. The boring dialogue, the paragraphs that transition the reader from one scene to another, the scenes that are just lead up to the bigger, funner, more impressive scenes. They don't need to be perfect that just need to be on the page. By the end of it, you will have a some what cohesive plot. Will it be perfect? No. Will you enjoy reading it? Not really. Does it make you want to give up and write something else? Yes, but do not do that.

7. Read it and mull it over for a day- Do not touch the rough draft. Just read it and think about it. Do you like how the plot is? Do you want it funnier? sadder? Do you like how the characters are speaking? Does it feel natural to you? Is it giving what you want it to give? Is it following your Northern star?

8. Change everything you don't like- Delete everything you don't love. If it bothered you enough to stick with you for a day, you can toss it out. You feel like you need permission to delete it? Here's your permission, delete it. I have deleted half of a fic before. Nothing is sacred because none of it is perfect. Toss it out. Replace it something newer. Do you feel better when you replace it? Yes, then that's great. You don't feel better? Put something else in.

9. Do you love to read it?- It is not would other people love to read it. Is it not "is it perfect?" It is do you love to read it, if you were to come across this fic in the middle of the day on AO3. Would you be excited to see it? If the answer is no, repeat step 8 and 9. Do it until the answer is yes or until you cannot change anything else in it.

10. Polish it- Now that you love your work, it is the time to make it easier to read. Separate out your paragraphs, throw it into a grammar checker, format (bold, italicize, etc.). This is where you make it look pretty.

11. Post it- Congratulations! You posted your work on AO3! You did it! Pat yourself on the back and treat yourself to some boba. The work is your baby. You worked hard on it and you should be proud.

FAQ

I wrote all of this and I love it but what if other people don't love it?

They will. None of us writing know for sure if people will love or hate our work before we post it. So until someone outright sends a 500 word count rant about how much they despise it, assume everyone will love it.

What if it isn't perfect?

Many things in this world aren't perfect and we love them. A plushie that was sewn wrong or is missing an ear is still picked up and loved. A puppy missing a leg or an eye is still a beloved part of the family. Writing isn't about being perfect, it is about being human. It is your words, your emotions, and your imagination all on a page and like all humans, you writing will improve as we all do. I don't consider any of my writing perfect and yet, I continue to write because I want to get better and because I love it.

What do you use to write?

You don't need any tools to write but some make it easier for you than others. I recently spent money on Bsun Tuzi switches for my keyboard and it had helped me write a lot quicker but a mechanical keyboard is an investment and a pricey one.

I use Apple Pages to write since I like how clean their format it. I also organize my work on Notion or Obsidian,

I started off writing on Google docs and Word so you don't need the fancy stuff.

I don't know how to write dialogue.

Since I mainly do F1 and Indycar RPF, my biggest recommendations is to listen to Grill the Grid and podcasts. I don't usually be press interviews since I find the drivers to be more stifled and are likely saying what their team wants to say. They tend to be a bit more human on Grill the Grid and podcasts.

I just listen and see what each of them like to talk about, how they talk, etc.

I hope this helps. If you want me to elaborate on something, let me know. Feel free to ask me more questions.

[angie-words]

2024 fic roundup

Thanks so much to @cheeseplants for tagging me in this Ask game!

The idea is you can answer these questions yourself, as many or as few as you want 💜

What fandoms do you write in?

Good Omens, baybeee 👈😎👈 I don't think another piece of media has ever quite so completely owned my ass. Well, maybe Sherlock Holmes (not the BBC one, sorry), or Due South (look, the tale of a misfit, repressed Mountie masking all the time? A neurodivergent hero), but I haven't written anything for them in yeeeaaars

How many words have you published in 2024?

141, 427, about half of that on Write A Way (Explicit) alone. Wow that's... huh. That's a lot...

What is your greatest achievement this year?

It's a tie between creating my first ever multi-chapter piece of work and joining @whickberstreetwriters 🥳 I'm extremely proud of Write A Way - I've had so many comments from people talking about how seen they've felt as neurodivergent people, not just in the common struggles but in our joys as well. It truly makes my heart full. Being invited to join WSWA contributed massively to me being able to feel confident in my writing again. Honestly, without their support, beta reading and friendship I do not think Write A Way would exist.

Top 3 fics you've written this year?

Have I mentioned Write A Way (Explicit)? A tale of two sparring authors, both successful in their own right, both neurodivergent... and both secretly fans of a certain show?

Then there's How to Play (Mature), where I really wanted to experiment with ramping up the sexual tension inherent to their 1941 shenanigans

Finding a Rhythm (Explicit) is one of my most recent fics and I thoroughly enjoyed writing Aziraphale's incredibly obvious seduction attempts while Crowley is incredibly oblivious.

What was your biggest pit of despair moment?

I don't think I truly had one, but there were a couple of snags. I guess for me it was realising a chapter in Write A Way just wasn't working and feeling a bit downcast. Work was stressful and the thing that was meant to bring me joy was causing me a headache. I wanted to have Azira and Crowley smooch in a way that felt natural, but it was really fighting me; it was only through the help of my beta readers that I was able to persevere and make those two twits snog

What have you learned?

Listen to your beta readers but also ask questions - I made way too many assumptions early on when I was getting used to having my work beta read. I've also learned that I can write long-form fics! I genuinely didn't think I had that in me

What fic did you want to do but never made it off the ground?

Do not look at the 5000+ word unfinished draft in my folder... It's been going around my head for a while, this idea of Dr Aziraphale going to a conference with his university colleague Dr Crowley and sexy shenanigans happening. Mostly involving thin walls and vibrator wands.

Did you beta any fics?

So many, you have no idea! I've done some for the GOAD Writers Guild, but the WSWA fics have been my core source. One of the things I love most about being in the Whickber Street Writers Association server is that we're a micro-community of writers and I get to beta some absolutely stunning fic. It's inspiring

What 3 fics have you read this year that you love?

Just 3? Gaaaah OK

I recently read The Apple Doesn't Fall Far (Explicit) by @cheeseplants - it was so sweet and lovely and it felt so grounded. I'm a sucker for fics that focus on two people not exactly fixing one another, but who just by being close inspire each other to be better

Show the Way (Mature) by @the-literal-kj is an incredible fic where Aziraphale and Crowley go to war during a community theatre staging of Hadestown. KJ really draws out some amazing, tender characterisation and I really enjoyed the bickering and progression as the enemies turn to friends then lovers

Last but certainly not least: A Wank in the Park by @rofell a story where Ezra and Anthony, both in their very early 20s, meet while working on a production of Shakespeare in the Park, forming a very believable and ridiculous friendship with benefits. I had the great joy of beta reading this and watching with mounting amusement as these absolute "turbo virgins" go into denial about the fact that their sexual experiments together are anything more than that

What ideas are percolating for next year?

See my Drs Aziraphale & Crowley mention 😅

Who do you want to thank?

Everyone at the GOAD sub for their wonderful support (and putting up with my meme posts). However, a very special thanks to everyone on the WSWA server - I truly could not have written half as much half as well without their help and inspiration

Feel free to take part, choose and ignore questions as you'd like, and here's to our world 🥂

[sollyraptor]

Golde eyes are awesome actually we need more illager ocs w golden eyes-

(don't know much about Siri..Sir.Sieus..Sirius. sorry I haven't slepr in a while I'm going to be weird.)

any finished lore or story for him I AM interested!! a lot!! he looks cool!!

|| (Cheers, fellow 2am lurker. lol)

|| Had this reponse drafted for way too long, almost forgot it in these chambers

Glad you like the silly guy! He has a thing going on and a tiny sprinkle of backstory shenanigans. I RP with him occasionally and he has a bit of a role in one of my (hibernating) ask blogs, but all in all he isn't my main guy or anything, I don't think so.

The golden/amber eyes were a design choice not made by me, since I got the lad in a Toyhou.se forum game (some design exchange thread). The designs for Sirius and Silas were gifted/traded to me! :D (So there aren't any lore implications or anything for his eyes, not that I can think of. His eyes are just a little extra piercing when he stares. lmao)

(og art by Jitsuemon [toyhou.se])

It is noted though that there are metal pieces (iron) imbedded in their foreheads. I like to think it's for them to distinguish who's from their community/tribe and who's not. Maybe for a little blessing/damage boost too, although I am unsteady on that point. I like to think the tribe he's part of isn't as magic savvy as others to make full use of such things as enchantments or soul shenanigans.

I don't think I can talk as much about him or speak confidently of his upbringing, since I am not really that deep in the illager sauce as some others. Pff- (I try my best.)

His story, the way I haphazardly put it together, is that his old tribe got demolished one way or another that separated him from the community. Something along the line of heroes launching an attack on their illager outposts, before concentrating on the mansion. Chaos and all. Whether it be killing the community off or by scattering them enough they couldn't easily find one another again, Sirius ends up without his tribe and perhaps a little lost too.

(Still not sure what part he had in the battle, tbh. He could've avoided the main conflict while he was on patrol, but got ambushed when they headed to the mansion to help, and ended up chasing off the attackers with Silas just to lose sight of his crew. He could've been in the midst of the battle and fled when things got dire. Idk honestly. He is a warrior and all, but he wouldn't be too eager to meet death head on when odds are so much against him/the whole tribe. Glory in war, but he ain't stupid. Maybe things just got a smidge too wild that even he got spooked. Heroes and their artifacts. You wouldn't run into a death laser if you could help it.)

A lone illager is a dead illager, it's believed, so it's lucky enough he has his trusty ravager steed Silas by his side once they escaped- Although while she may be a great help traversing large spans of distance, she costs a ton of resources. You can't convince me ravagers can live off of grass alone, even if they kinda look bovine. Food management becomes a problem.

Doing the illager thing as usual and pillaging villages for resources was easy enough for a while, considering Sirius doesn't need to wrangle any iron golems on his own. But even just a "swift pillage" for a bit of food and things sets alarms off and heroes are much more of a danger if you have no allies and they start actively hunting you down. It isn't worth the attention, especially since a ravager isn't exactly inconspicuous or particularily stealthy in avoiding keen eyes.

Sirius is a bit of a thinker compared to some other illagers (or what I know of, anyway? I don't think pillagers are that wise. A little silly. Orange-cat levels of braincells perhaps, but with more lethal weapon wielding.) He will ponder over things and actually give it a moment before doing something. Still- he thinks deep but not very far. (lol) Coming up with a plan, thinking for it for a moment but still ending up with throwing a door at someone or bashing his head against a wall. Either way, he can be talked with and likes to stay suspicious.

For a while he even attempted to trade with villagers, but he doesn't particularily look innocent and harmless, so if they don't ring the alarm anyway they just drive their prices up to make him leave sooner, which gnaws at his patience. Even if he attempts to be chill, villagers make his blood boil. He still thinks poorly of them. At least he never saw any of that "kind" and "hospitable" nature towards him when dealing with villagers.

I am still just vague with how long he's been out and about. Couldn't be terribly long if he didn't get in touch with other tribes, or still long enough he adapted to being a bit of a lone wolf with all it's challenges. Eh, idk.

With emeralds running low, a hungy ravager (haha, or ravenous ravager) by his side and no post or mansion to return to, he kinda just looked for jobs that didn't mind recruiting a lone Illager.

I had him get in touch with a group of mob hunters. Hunting, fighting and capturing mobs of all sort for materials, meat, keeping as pets and other stuff by contract. I suppose, however you see it, like poachers. Sirius would be familiar enough with fighting and taking hostages maybe, so the basics shouldn't be too difficult from a pillager standpoint.

Currently he got a task to prove himself before he gets fully recruited, so I guess he's still jobless as before. He's still out there tryna get a grasps at the thing. As a pillager it's easy enough to kill/capture villagers, the people you fight always stay in one spot anyway. If it's wildlife ya gotta pursue through foliage or across biomes it's a little tougher. Pf-

That's pretty much all I got about him so far. Much to ramble about, but essentially not that much!

[ambrosiagourmet]

Feel free to ignore this, but I love reading your analysis and was wondering how you start analyzing things? I try to do it myself but I always feel so unconfident in my interpretations and feel scared about posting about them and them being “wrong.”

Just curious to see how you approach your analysis and meta! Have a lovely day!

Ooh, what a good question! I'm happy to share a little, sure.

Under the cut bc it got long hehe 😅

So my first (and probably the most important) response to this is: it's hard to feel 100% sure that you are totally "correct" about this stuff.

There are always going to be other ways to interpret things. There are things you miss, or perspectives you don't consider. There will always be people who disagree. And even if you are as accurate and totally convincing as humanly possible, there always going to be different types of analysis that you can't cover all at the same time!

I think, especially when it comes to like, doing casual analysis for something you love, it really helps to just follow your passion. It's fine to speak confidently about an interpretation that you find compelling, even if you haven't considered every possible angle of how it could be wrong. It's about what speaks to you, after all.

For instance, the conflict-avoidant Falin post (which is currently the analysis post of mine with the most notes) was largely born from an interpretation of Falin that really resonated with me, based on a couple of points I remembered strongly from reading the story. It's definitely not the only way to look at Falin, and I don't think it's like the universally correct interpretation of her character. But it is the interpretation that got ME interested in talking about her, and in turn, resonated with other people, too!

I have plenty of anxiety about this stuff, so I won't pretend that it's just easy to turn off that "what if I'm wrong, though" part of your brain, but I will say it doesn't hurt to try to start writing. You can always draft a post and come back to it, or delete/private it, or reblog it later to add more context or nuance. You aren't shackled to your opinion forever, much as the internet (and anxiety) can make it feel that way.

As to where to actually start with analysis... for me, it's almost always either a detail, a question, or both.

Here's an example of an Idea In Progress I've been thinking about.

While I was grabbing screenshots from the Nightmare chapter, I noticed that Marcille's hairstyle there is similar to one of the chapter covers I'd also just looked at:

So like, that's interesting to me! Especially since the cover was from the chapter where Marcille makes her deal with the Winged Lion. So then I can start to ask like... what does it mean that there's this similarity? I could tie it in to the way I think the Lion kind of infantilizes her, talk about what influence the Nightmare chapter might have had on Marcilles decision. Alternatively, I could ask, are there any other similar times Marcille wears this hairstyle? Any other hairstyles that are repeated at key times?

Any of which could lead to some fun analysis! Alternatively, it can also just be fun to post about the detail without the analysis. Just be like, "hey, look at this weird thing." Other people might chime in with ideas about it, or maybe it will sparks something for you later! Either way, you'll have an easy reference saved for reference. Even if deeper analysis doesn't come, it's still fun to have pointed out. Details and connections are just. They are just great. And Dunmeshi especially has SO much to dig into.

(Oh, also, quick aside here: ignore anyone who tells you the details don't matter and weren't intentional. It fully does not matter. If drawing a connection helps you realize a new meaning in the story - if it inspires and motivates you - it's worth investigating.)

Anyway, the Adventurer's Bible is also a great place to find details to jump off of. The timelines and little blurbs highlight important events or facts about the characters, and you can then go fishing for other times those things come up or are referenced in the story.

In terms of starting from a question, it can also be fun just to spend a little time with something you don't feel like you totally got. I had a great time doing that with the succubus chapter, for instance. If there's a scene you find yourself kind of skimming over because its not clicking for you... go back and try and examine it! Even if it's just a small thing - an expression you missed or a panel with a funny little joke - it can be just as rewarding to try and pay attention to the parts of the story you don't understand as it is to dig into the parts you do.

~

Really, in a lot of ways, I like to use analysis as an excuse to just spend time with a story I care about. It's a way to savor it! And if you can write up those thoughts and ideas, you can share them with others, which can be even better. A dish doesn't have to be perfectly cooked to delicious, after all. Go, with Senshi's blessing, and make good food.

And of course, as with all things creative, never forget about Two Cakes:

[pawseds]

I convinced our Delta Green game master to have a play-by-post (basically text roleplay) section in our game's server and uhhhhh maybe I've been having too much fun with it. Writing is faster than drawing comics, what can I say?

(Long ramble about writing stories below hehe oops)

While we're here! A bit about writing: I like writing! I've written for loger than I've drawn for (because school). I think I'm better at writing than drawing for that reason (I'm more confident at least). I've written short stories. I've written short stories about TTRPG things. I've also written a ~100k word novel by hand for 2 years. While writing it, I had 'writing class' (technically AS/A level Ennglish Language classes). It was the only class I had confidence in and high expectations for.

With those 2 combined, I burnt out pretty quick LOL. Specifically, I had a big perfectionism issue because of the high expectations I had from my teacher and especially myself -- it was the one thing I knew excelled at in school, so I better do it well! After I was done with the novel and A levels, I was supposed to edit the novel. It's been years and I haven't done it yet, and I wouldn't write non-assignment stories (except 2) until now. Writing became more nerverwracking than it was fun, so why would I?

To get back to the PBP thing: I've been in a campaign that was fully PBP. With my mindset being the way it is, hey! This is just one big writing exercise, so I ran along with that and had fun with it. I saw how some players would make their own PBP and essentially monologue/have a scene only with their PC. That was cool to see.

And now, my current Delta Green campaign (tagged 'Helvetia'). Hrothgar (guy in drawing) and his kids were ported over from a previous D&D campaign (the fully PBP one!), so the crew had a very well defined background already. Of course I get tons of drawing ideas for them, except I don't have the time to draw them all (compsci hard). But since the server has a PBP section, I had like 2 weeks to kill between session 0 and 1, and I was bursting with ideas... I made a lot of solo PBPs that were essentially short stories.

It didn't quite hit me until some time ago, but the PBPs actually made me enjoy writing again -- enjoy it a lot more, in fact! I think the format of Discord threads and messages removed most perfectionism tendencies I had. I just had to fire the story away, message by message. It didn't have to be amazing, and it was fun! (Also I really don't know how to shut up with them LOL)

I'll definitely be cleaning these PBPs up and posting them here as stories. Some of them are just silly, fun, slice-of-life character sketches. (These were the stories I wrote after my novel... and yes, they were about my other set of Delta Green characters LMAO) (and I've posted them here under pawsedswrite btw!) But some I see as legitamite short stories that I would edit more heavily and present as a short story. They were the kinds I could see myself writing on a document rather than on Discord.

Well, I lied. 'I would edit' is false. I have already edited one, because I spent like 5-6h writing this one PBP (oops) instead of writing the draft for my short story class/elective (oops 2). I joked to my two friends saying that I could just submit it as my assignment. Apparently, they both really liked it and said the dialogued slapped. So I did!

I procrastinated like hell on it though, because I was very nervous to go back into the PBP with an axe to edit it. Being in a writing class where nearly everyone else has been formally studying writing for some years kinda puts some pressure on ya!

Like the last assignment (which I'll post here after editing), I had a lot of worries. But the feedback and grade I got from my last assignment, the peer review I got from the current one, and also the support from those two friends (shoutout @katastrofish <3) made me feel more confident in myself. And also the fact that I had a lot of fun editing the PBP!

Uhhh this ramble was way longer than expected LMFAO if you've made it this far, damn, thanks for reading! If you also write or have similar experiences, feel free to share em. And have a good day!

(bonus POV editing)

[keepmeinmind-01]

Hello! So interested in exchange student AU and the dogs, but I HAVE to ask about plug in baby because that is giving me a weird image in my head.

thank you so much for asking @tina-mairin-goldstein :D

I'll go through them! I did a little too much writing last week and haven't managed much at all this week. No idea whether I need to rest and recharge or just get a bit more inspired LOL. But I can share some snippets—I write in chunks in the first draft stage so they're a bit everywhere, and these bits might not even make it into the final :')

Exchange Student AU

This is actually the prompt you gave me about a little Newt seeing Theseus and Percy together and being his accepting self!

A Second Person? Visiting the Scamander household?  Well—Second Person wasn’t trailing in. He seemed very confident and self-contained. In fact, Newt has always thought Theseus was exactly like that; but next to this shorter, dark-haired stranger, Theseus suddenly looked coltish and far too smiley. Newt clicked through the settings and accidentally zoomed in far too much on the stranger’s expensive-looking scarf.  Why does he want to spend time with Theseus? Newt mused, as most seven-year-olds with older siblings sometimes do: sure that his brother could hang the moon and stars if he tried, but chagrined by the pure bossiness their relationship seemed to entail enduring. 

Thesival Dogs

It's a one-shot (with several chapters LOL, I don't know if that stops it being a one-shot anymore). I started drafting this in a frenzy over four days because I felt bad about how kmim Theseus never really finds a partner he's comfortable with again. Losing those feelings of intimacy and trust forever hurt me. So, it's set sometime after the end of the election in kmim and kind of diverges from the rest of the outline I have planned for that long story. Theseus and Percival get into a sort of casual-sort of not relationship complicated by their respective traumas. When Percival accidentally triggers Theseus while they're working on a case together, they have to get through it and figure out how to re-negotiate the physical stuff. It goes well—well enough that Theseus accidentally summons his Patronus (a borzoi). But after Percival summons his (a German Shepherd) too, as a joke, the dogs stick around, so they spend the next day figuring out how to make them dispel and thinking about their relationship.

Nearer the start:

Each like a damning indictment—because of him, it could never be long term. Because it’s you, Theseus imagined, because it’s you, and it’s me, they could tangle their broken bodies together, but they couldn’t fix them.

Nearer the middle:

"Tell me how you imagined it," Percival demanded, voice roughening.  "I, ah..." Theseus faltered, uncharacteristically flustered by the heat kindling behind Percival's eyes. Get it together, Scamander. “Mmh?” “Er…” Theseus racked his brains, but it’d been weeks since he’d had a vaguely sexy thought. I thought it’d be nice seemed like a mood killer for someone as skilled in talking filth as Graves. And I love you was all of the steps too far. “You…hmm. You would…um. Or maybe I...or maybe not.”

Plug in Baby

This is named for a song by the band "Muse", because I always end up doing song lyric titles. I do have four other songs that fit wayyy better with the themes, plot points, etc, but even though Muse said they forgot what the song was about because they were high (LOL), there's something particularly good about this as a title imo. This is my dark!thesleta fic, where Leta joins Grindelwald at a rally and Theseus follows her. It's set in a world where Grindelwald and Dumbledore are much more organised and there are very partisan 'sides'. Theseus is less certain, trying to convince her to leave, but when something happens that makes him fall apart, Grindelwald has enough and brainwashes/reconditions him using a mixture of drugs and magic. The 'character is turned into a weapon against the ones they love' trope, basically. It goes downhill from there, and involves Newt, Tina, Grindelwald, and Dumbledore, focusing mostly on Theseus, Leta, and Newt. The ending is a bit bittersweet, but I'd say positive, given what happens. I'm curious what the image in your head was! Hopefully, no actual babies? XD

I have no big chunks of text for this one. Even though it's all planned in detail, it's being written in spotty chunks, so here are a few lines I've jotted down:

"You're getting better at this," Gellert said, removing the needle. His voice was approving, almost fond. "Hardly even a flinch anymore." How much did he require tonight? Surely his tolerance was not increasing this quickly.

Power still crackled through his veins like lightning seeking ground. He felt half-feral, drunk on destruction. Unstoppable.

[echoingbirdsofprey]

Of Love And War

1 - Crash Into You

Pairing: Commander Cody x OFC Azura Shain

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: canon typical violence, normal swearing, straddling the line of canon divergent/compliant

A/N: I'm posting these to Tumblr finally and I haven't written for this in like two years so I'm hoping re-reading and posting with ignite some inspiration to keep going on these because I really enjoyed them and I have so much in my drafts for this series. Please enjoy! If you want to be added to a tag list (for this one or any of my fics) just shoot me a message!

The first time Azura had met Commander Samson was when the 478th Battalion brought her Master's body back to the Jedi Temple. She wept for her Master. She'd taken Azura under her wing and not only as a Padawan but like a daughter. Samson had taken a hold of the Jedi, embracing her so tight he worried he was hurting her, but she never complained. She sobbed against his armor and he allowed her as long as she needed.  When she felt she was able to, which was surprisingly not hours like she thought, but a few minutes, she pulled away from the Clone Commander and glanced up at him, eyes puffy and red. He gently wiped her cheeks with his thumbs but said nothing. He didn't know what to say except "sorry for your loss" but he felt she valued a quiet, supportive presence instead.

At the funeral, the Council allowed Azura and some of Penryn's Clone Troopers to pay their respects first before any other Jedi were allowed to. Times were changing. With all of the recent CIS terrorism, access to the Temple had been restricted. There were never public funerals for the Jedi anyway but Azura was surprised that the Council allowed the Clones. She felt as though there was something bigger at play here.  Samson had stepped forward, cutting a piece of the Togruta's robes with his knife. He handed the scrap to Azura who tearfully but thoughtfully received it.

"I don't know a thing about Togrutas but Mandalorian tradition dictates that a loved one may carry something of the deceased to remember and honor them by. And with the way she talked about you, she certainly loved you the most." He explained and Azura simply nodded. He knew the traditions of her birth family and she appreciated that very much. Azura wrapped the blue piece of cloth around her wrist for now but she would later wrap the hilt of one of her sabers with it. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Penryn Tethras was a slender woman, a Togruta, skin a lavender color, her montrals striped a darker purple and light grey. She wore dark blue robes, and when Azura was allowed to pick hers she wanted the same. Azura was ten years old when her parents brought her to the Temple. She'd shown great sensitivity to the Force already, which scared her parents half to death. The Council wasn't going to let her become a Padawan but Master Tethras begged them. She pleaded, seeing potential in the young Mandalorian girl. 

"She has a good heart. Can you not see that?" Penryn asks as she strides through the halls of the Jedi Temple besides Master Yoda and Master Windu.

"Fearful she is. Very fearful. Hard to overcome that is." Was Yoda's only remark at the moment. Mace Windu nodded in agreement.

"She has untapped power for sure. I do sense a great deal of good in her but she must be taught to focus. You will need to be strict with her. Is that something you are willing and able to do?" Mace asked, pausing in his steps. Penryn sighed heavily.

"I cannot be cold if that's what you are asking of me. Firm, yes. I can give her boundaries. I can help her focus. She can become confident. I feel it." She assured them.

" Then it's all on you to make her the Jedi you feel she can be." Mace affirmed and Penryn bowed to the older Masters, nearly running off to find the young girl whom she'd just adopted essentially.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Azura's thirteenth name day was the one she remembered the most. More so than any previous one with her actual parents. Penryn had asked the barely four foot tall Padawan to come to her quarters. She had a small table set up. At it was a cake, and next to it looked to be a blue kyber crystal. 

"Who got the cake?" Azura asked, sitting across from Penryn.

"Aayla got it for you. And I also got you something very special." Penryn said, picking the kyber crystal up. 

"Hold out your hands." Penryn placed it in Azura's palms. She felt the crystal vibrate slightly as if it was happy to be with her 

"I saw you working on a second saber hilt. I think you could wield two sabers if you work hard enough."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Penryn, look!" Azura says, twirling her dual sabers in a fantastical and showy display of skill. Penryn smiles and claps. She steps toward Azura as she douses her sabers' lights. 

"You've been practicing quite a bit. You're getting quicker with your hands." Penryn pulls Azura in for a tight embrace.

"Are you okay?" Azura's voice sounds panicked. Penryn certainly showed her share of affection but it was an odd time for her to hug Azura. Or perhaps not. She could hear the warmth and pride in Penryn's voice.

"I'm fine. I recommended you to start your trials. You're ready. I'm being sent on a mission to Geonosis, so I won't be able to be here. But I wanted to wish you the most luck... But I know you'll pass."

" If I pass though, that means I won't be your Padawan anymore..."

" It does. That just means we can go on better adventures together. Bigger, more important ones. And it's not if you pass, it's when because you will. I have so much faith in you. I love you very much, tunguma."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

For ten years, Master Tethras raised Azura as her own. She kept Azura out of trouble. She kept her honest, humble, and hard working. Azura never skipped a meditation, never skipped a study session, and especially never missed a day training with her sabers once she'd crafted them. If she was sick, she was still out in the training yard, perfecting the use of one and eventually two sabers. Master Tethras couldn't be more proud when Azura was ready for her Trials. And unfortunately her final test was the loss of her Master. In the same day she'd felt like she'd lost a part of her soul, she was knighted as a Jedi.

"As a Knight now, you have a new assignment. With the start of the Clone Wars, your Master had been assigned the 478th Battalion. It is clear to us that the command of the Battalion should be handed down to you, as her Padawan and her most trusted companion. This is your next test towards becoming a Master." Master Windu explained and all Azura could do was bow and thank the Council. When she headed out to meet her battalion she recognized the Clone Commander whose arms she'd ended up in as they brought her Master's body to the burial chambers.

"I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier. I thought it wrong at the time. I'm CC-4338, Commander Samson of the 478th Battalion. You must be General Shain?" Azura's face contorted at the title. Who was she right now? Jedi Knight Azura? Master Tethras' Padawan? General Azura Shain? Too many titles at once had her head reeling.

"Just call me Azura please. And is it fine if I call you Samson? I'd rather not call you by a number."

" Oh...Uh...I mean sure...I guess. Whatever you want, General, err...Azura..." Samson stumbled over his words, trying to figure out a coherent response in a reasonable amount of time. At that moment he heard the cutest giggle leave her lips and he was sold. Like a moth to a flame he was hooked. He smiled and he hated that he had his bucket on. He wanted to tell her she had a cute laugh but he didn't dare.

"So where are we headed to?" Azura asks, knowing Samson has already been briefed on their first mission together.

"Headed to the Outer Rim. Murkhana."

"I've...never been there..." Azura said glancing around at the starship they were entering.

" Neither have I." Samson said, shooting her a look with which she could guess he was smirking by the sound of his voice.

Indigo Squad was composed of Commander Samson, Captain Sky, Lieutenant Emden, Lieutenant Zazou, and Medic Atom.

Azura moved her dark auburn, lengthy hair from one shoulder to another. Her Commander placed a hand on her shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. While these men were bred and trained for war, Azura was not. Yes, she was trained in several different forms of lightsaber combat but nothing had prepared her for all out war. Conflict was not something she wished to deal with, however in battle she was exceptional. She'd become agile and stealthy but steady and patient. She wielded two sabers, both a light blue in blade color. She clipped them to her belt. She wore a similar black under layer to the Clone Troopers, as well as boots, shin armor, and gauntlets with a comm pad. She wore a skirted grey and purple accented armor that attached to her belt. It was similar to the kama that the ARCs wore except shorter and more triangular at the bottom. 

She glanced around at her men, decorated like any other battalion, but their armor was painted with a deep purple striping. There were several ARC troopers in her ranks, and then there was Samson. Commander Samson. Faithful almost to a fault, Samson was glued to his General's side. He donned the ARC trooper double pauldrons, purple piping on black kamas, dual DC-17s, a jet pack, and a DC-15 long range rifle. He was younger looking than some of the other Commanders but he took his training so seriously and rose through the ranks quicker than any in his batch. Samson sported a high and tight cut as well a full beard. If he were to shave his beard it would reveal a large dent in the bone of his jaw on the left side. This was an injury from his training on Kamino, the butt of a rifle connecting with his face. 

Then there was Atom, their Medic. He specialized in trauma surgery so dealing with emergencies on the fly is what he lives for. He's still pissed at Sky for not letting him put a cybernetic eye in when Sky had to have his right eye removed. Atom didn't sugarcoat anything, but told you how things were in a nice way. His hair was curly and messy under his bucket. His ARC pauldrons carried the medic symbol and while he's not as buff as some of the other guys he could still kick someone's ass if you needed him to. The other three, Captain Sky, Lieutenant Emden, and Lieutenant Zazou usually traveled as a trio. A trio of chaos. The three of them had expertise with heavy weaponry, ARC trooper training, and if you let them, they can pretty much fix anything. The GAR had no idea that they'd modified several light fighters with advanced weapons systems beyond what came stock. Sky was much like Samson in that he was faithful to Azura but he spoke up less. Because of his eye injury he'd become withdrawn. When around his brothers, he was a sarcastic little shit, but around new people he was quiet and respectful. Sky rarely took his helmet off but when he did he sported a high and tight cut with a goatee. And obviously the hole where his eye was missing but his other eye seemed to sparkle a bright golden brown with life. Emden was all around chaotic. He was quick witted and he charged in head first to everything. That got him trouble more times than one. Emden sported a full beard and taller, curly hair on top, shaven sides. He had scars running from just under his ear down his neck and onto his chest. Azura had seen the full display one morning when he burst into her cabin to wake her up. They were deep shrapnel cuts from his first deployment on Geonosis. Then there was Zazou. He was Indigo's saving grace. Quiet but tactful, Zazou could talk Emden out of a bad idea and into an even better one. He was the best mechanic of them all too. He could fix anything from a Venator's hyperdrive to a droid's memory banks. He could also hack. And he'd taught his Squad some of those skills as well. Zazou kept his face shaven at all times but sported a high falling mohawk with intricate swirling designs on either side of his head in the shorter shaved hair. He had several tattoos in aurebesh, saying his CT number, Indigo Squad, and 'Zaz'ika' which was a nickname Emden had come up with that Zazou had come to enjoy hearing everyone once in a while.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Murkhana. It had been devastating to the citizens. The planet was scarred and would remain that way for several long years afterwards. It was the first time Azura had seen real battle, real death and destruction. It was terrifying. More than once, Azura fell into Samson's arms, breaking down, seeing the chaos that was war. He would hold her tightly, waiting until she stopped shaking.

"This isn't what we're supposed to do. We're not supposed to kill people." Her hands trembled on his armor and he caressed her hair. She glanced up at him, tears welling.

" Well... people aren't supposed to get in the way. We evacuated who we could. It's not our fault if people decided to stay." 

Mimban was Samson's least favorite place. Mimban was a disgusting, muddy mess of a planet. 

"I wish our helmets filtered out the smell." He would say and then gag. His Captain, Sky, would laugh hysterically and more than once, Samson pushed him down into the mud. The lieutenant, Emden, would take more mud in hand and throw it as if it were a snowball at his brothers. He made sure he never hit Azura with a mudball because he knew she'd hit him back tenfold and laugh about it.

"I was born to be dirty." Sky said, earning chuckles out of the rest of the men. Azura would shake her head and tell them to be nicer to each other. Her sabers were their best source of light at times in the sense fog that came with the humidity of the planet. She got good at deflecting blaster fire that she couldn't see coming. It was also the first time she'd have an injury that would put her out of commission for almost a month.

Felucia, another wet, sticky jungle of a planet introduced the 478th to working with another company. The 327th Star Corps were stationed there initially and then had required back up. Azura became good friends with General Secura. She reminded Azura a little bit of Penryn. She was methodical, thorough, and firm with her men, but she had a soft spot for her Commander Bly. With the help of General Secura, Azura learned of her unexpected power to heal through the Force. 

An evening around the fire, taught Azura the ins and outs of Bly and Aayla's relationship which was in its infancy but already so strong. She studied the two as they sat together, looking over the datapad. Her hand would linger on top of his. His hand would meet her knee and stay there. He would shift closer, then she would, right up until they were as close as they could get. How could they stand it with all their armor and how hot and humid it was? Azura might get it one day. 

That was the one thing the Council didn't want the padawans learning. Love. Yes, they needed to know what love was but the attachment to another being so much that it clouds their judgement was frowned upon. Bly and Aayla were quick to come together but they were also good at keeping things separate. Good at keeping what was personal out of their professional life.

Devaron and Cato Nemoidia were long campaigns and they took many men from the 478th. Azura had suffered another serious injury just before and she became a little more cautious about just charging head first into things. Down the road she'd look back and say she'd forgotten in the moment and that she'd never learn.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

TWENTY ONE BBY

"Where are we off to next?" Emden asked. The rest of the battalion formed up and headed to their gunships. Emden, Atom, Zazou, and Sky would travel with a company of fifteen including Azura and Samson in the lead gunship. 

"We're headed to Geonosis to help reinforce General Kenobi's forces at Point Rain." The ship lifted off and out of the hangar of the Ankarres, the Venator class star destroyer, which Azura also inherited from her Master.  The past year had given her much to reflect upon. She'd found out what war was but she'd also found real friendship and comraderie in her squad. As they began the descent to the dusty and arid planet of Geonosis, they overhead transmissions coming from other gunships.

"Cody, get the tanks down!"

"Copy that Pilot, begin landing sequence!"

"Bugs incoming!"

"General Kenobi, don't land, the zone is hot!"

"We're hit, we're going down!"

Samson and Azura glanced at each other and then their men. He had to yell over the explosions.

"Sounds like a lot of flak. We're gonna get shot down if we keep going!" Samson yelled up to him and glanced at Azura, awaiting a decision.

"Pilot, put us down here! We'll go on foot to the landing zone and you can drop your tank here to reinforce us from behind." She said, making the call she hoped was the right one.

"Yes, sir!"

Azura and her men land successfully. They may have been the only ones who landed and didn't get shot down...she had no idea. She only knew they had to get to the rendezvous point as soon as possible. She ignited her sabers and jumped out of the gunship, deflecting heavy fire, with her guys right behind her. Samson and Sky used her as a shield and fired rapidly on the bugs as they pushed forward toward Point Rain. As they pressed on, they could see other tanks and gunships just ahead. They must not have been far from the landing zone anyway.

"Reinforcements have arrived!" Clones who were already there shouted and cheered as Azura's squad and another, General Skywalker's, ran up. She saw General Kenobi sitting against a gear box on the ground. He was clearly injured. 

"Master Kenobi are you alright?" She kneeled down and placed a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. He put his hand on her arm and smiled weakly.

"Oh...Azura...am I glad to see you. I was worried when we hadn't heard from you that you'd gotten shot down."

"No, Master. We landed just outside the zone and made the rest of the way on foot. Lots of heavy fire but we came through okay. How are your men holding up?"

"They're okay. We're going to regroup and figure out a way to get to the shield generator."

As the other battalions began to trickle in they set up a holotable by Kenobi who was trying to rest. General Mundi and Skywalker as well as his Padawan, Ahsoka stood around the table. Captain Rex, Commander Jet, and Commander Cody stood there as well. Commander Samson placed himself right next to Azura. They devised a plan to get behind enemy lines and destroy the shield generator as well as the factory. It wouldn't take them terribly long to complete this mission.

Azura's men had stayed and reinforced the drop zone along with most of Kenobi's men and they also began to pack up supplies so that they could move on and begin a mission to find the Geonosian leader, Poggle the Lesser.. They had a small amount of down time before the Venators arrived to pick up the gunships and tanks so Azura and her men got to fixing a couple of the heavy machines. She'd noticed that Commander Cody had hung back as well, taking careful watch of his General who was injured seriously. He'd loaded onto a transport so he could get to a med bay on one of the destroyers. They'd given him a bacta-shot but he needed more aggressive treatment. Cody made his way over to the tank Azura, Samson, and Emden were working on. Azura could fiddle with some things and get them to work but she was by no means a mechanic. Samson and Emden were very skilled though so she relegated herself to handing them tools and helping lift things and hold them in place. 

"General..." She heard a voice, deeper and more assertive than her men, from behind her and glanced back. 

"Commander Cody." She smiled and went back to concentrating on holding the hydraulic lines in place for Samson as he secured them back to the vehicle. 

"General Kenobi very much appreciated your quick response. He speaks very highly of you. I wanted to introduce myself but it seems you already knew who I was." His arms were placed behind his back and he stood at attention. This made him seem much taller to Azura than he probably was. Samson glanced at Cody and then back to Azura. He shook his head and chuckled to himself, earning a glare from Azura. He smirked and went back to fastening the lines on.

"Very nice to meet you Commander." She said, blushing slightly at his comment. It was nice that Obi-Wan spoke highly of her, probably because of her Master. Her Master, Penryn Tethras, did speak highly of her, all the time. But Penryn also spoke of her dedication and loyalty to the Order. And loyalty was everything to these Clones. Azura thought also of the fact that Cody felt the need to come over and introduce himself. He didn't have to do that. He didn't have to give her the time of day. He was the Marshal Commander for Maker's sake. 

"Why is it that you wanted to introduce yourself, Commander?" Samson climbed down and examined the other lines. He handed Azura his tools as she asked this.

"Well...General Kenobi asked if I could potentially convince you to help us with a recon mission to find Poggle. You command a lot of ARC troopers who are very good at what they do. We're putting together a squad in addition to Ghost Company." He explained, leaning against the gear boxes next to the tank. Emden hopped down out of the side door of the tank.

"Topside looks good. Ready to check under the belly of the beast?" Emden asked Samson. Samson leaned down, his hands meeting his knees. He glanced at Cody and then Azura. 

"We go if you go, Azura, you know that." He ducked slightly, walking under the tank and Emden followed, whacking his head as he went. 

"Fuck!"

"Should've kept your bucket on." Samson joked. Cody looked at Azura expectantly. She nodded.

"We'll go, for sure."

"Excellent, I'll let General Kenobi know when he's back down here. Do you mind if I help out? There's not really much else for me to do at the moment. I haven't played around with one of these since Kamino." Cody reached for the tools and Azura's fingers met his there. They both drew away, the contact awkward. Samson's eyebrows wiggled at Emden who snorted loudly.

"We'd appreciate your help, Commander. C'mon under." Samson said, sliding over slightly so that Cody could stand next to him. Cody removed his helmet and placed it down on the gear box next to theirs. Azura noticed he had a long, deep scar that trailed just around his left eye. Any closer and he probably would've lost his eye. She wanted to ask how he got it but decided that was maybe not the best idea at the moment. She'd save that question for another time.  Samson was already disassembling pieces under the tank and throwing them towards Azura. Cody got to work disconnecting and reconnecting wires. 

"It doesn't look too bad. Just needs some minor pieces. Can you find new ones in the gear boxes of those three couplings and those wires?" He asked, handing some of the wiring to Cody. He placed them in her hands and she picked up the couplings as well. Her Captain, Sky, made his way over to her as she was shuffling around the boxes.

"Need some help?" He asked, examining the numbers on the couplings."

"Sure. I need wires too. Something to cut them." He handed her the wire cutters and a soldering tool, and carried the couplings for her. He kneeled down and she stood expectantly next to the tank. The three men underneath looked over, surprised at how quickly she came back.

"You're not half bad at this mechanic stuff you know." Emden said, taking the wires from her.

"I can find you things easily. I'd never be able to put it together correctly though."

"Why not come under here and learn then?" Cody suggested, motioning for her to come under with them. Samson was quiet, but a smirk played on his lips that had Emden trying hard not to laugh. He wasn't sure if Cody realized how it looked to them but it for sure looked like he was hardcore flirting with their General. Azura shot a look at Sky and he gave her a little push under the tank.

"Watch your head..." Cody said, putting a hand up to protect her from knocking her head on the metal pieces that we're sticking out. He scooted just a bit closer to Samson so that she could stand enough so she could see what he was doing. Samson had to give it to him. Cody wasn't an idiot and if he was trying to get with their General he was certainly stepping in the right direction. Samson watched carefully as Cody's hands deftly removed the broken parts. Azura took them and handed them to Sky.

"So here...this wire has to go. It's fraying. You can cut it." He handed her the cutters. She inched in front of him, stretching to her tip-toes and reaching up to cut the wire. Azura was a little nervous at the closeness to the Clone Commander. She didn't know him well enough to feel comfortable being this close to him. It was different with Samson because they barely spent any time away from each other except to sleep and use the refresher. Samson had offered to show her how to fix up things before but she hadn't been terribly interested in it. She could see a small smile sticking to his lips as he worked, his eyes darting to her every once in a while. 

"Now we can put in the new wire and the coupling. So take the wire and place it just slightly over the other and then we'll solder it together." Cody said, handing her the new wire. She placed it just over the other. It wasn't quite lined up straight so Cody placed his fingers over hers and straightened it but guided her fingers so she could get the feel of it herself. He gave her the solder tool and the wires came together nicely. Next he handed her the couplings and she screwed them in and he then tightened them up. 

"Looks great. Now you can do these by yourself next time."

"You might have to show me a few more times before I can do it by myself." Her cheeks felt red hot. Cody was so close to her and she hadn't noticed before but his hand had landed on her back. She said nothing because she was actually okay with it the more she thought about it. No, she didn't know him well but he seemed very easy to get along with. She'd heard stories about him being a tough but fair Commander. He was good to his men and he was being exceptionally nice helping her learn about fixing this tank. 

"General. The Ankarres and Resolute are here to pick us up and bring us to the main command center." Zazou, one of her ARCs said as he approached. Azura nodded, awkwardly stepping away from Cody and out from under the vehicle. 

"They've got good timing. We just finished up this tank. It's usable now." Samson said as he once again ducked. " Now Emden, let's not hit our head again." Emden shot him the dirtiest look he could and stuck his tongue out. 

"Thanks for letting me help out." Cody put his helmet back on but not before giving Azura a warm smile. 

"Any time Commander. We appreciate your help." She said, her tone cheery. Her eyes followed him as he began to walk away toward where some of his battalion was gathered. Samson lightly punched Azura's shoulder.

"I think he was flirting with you, General." He declared, earning several chuckles from her ARC troopers and the Captain

"But did he know he was?" Her hands rested on her hips.

"I'm pretty sure he did." Samson's brow raised on one side. "It's against military regulations to be involved with a Jedi but hey, I don't have a problem with that...if you were wondering." He clapped a hand on her shoulder, fitting his helmet back over his messy hair.

"Didn't know I needed your approval." She retorted, grinning at him.

"You can do whatever you want. I approve." He said as they began to stroll to the gunship that would take them up to the Ankarres.

[the-badger-mole]

Avatar: The Final Conflict

This story was originally posted on FFN in 2012. At this point, I had been writing fic for a few years, and I was beginning to figure out my style. I think it shows here. This story was the first time I remember making a conscious effort to balance my dialog with action and description. It's the sequel to A Word Between Friends, but I actually started writing this story first. I had been drafting parts of this story since the finale in 2008, which probably accounts for this fic being among the few where I don't steer Aang into his worst traits. It didn't occur to me to connect it with Word until I wrote a particular scene in chapter three that references a scene at the end of chapter 3 of Word. Both stories can be read independently, but I do hope that if you haven't read Word, you will.

Excerpt:

Iroh poured another cup of tea for himself and offered some to Pakku. The elderly water bender shook his head and politely declined.

"I’ve had quite enough, thank you,” he said. “Does she know I’m here?”

“I didn’t tell anyone I was expecting you,” Iroh assured him. “Although I don’t know why you don’t want her to know. After all, this is her future.” Pakku sighed and sat back in his seat.

“I realize that,” he said, suddenly feeling drained. “But I didn’t want to offer this to her until I was certain it would be there.”             Iroh stroked his beard thoughtfully and set his tea cup down.

“This is a great opportunity for Katara,” he said. “I would never stand in her way, and I’m sure Zuko will support her, when the time comes.”

“The time is now,” Pakku reminded him. He closed his eyes wearily.  “All this governing and politics business- it’s a game for the young. Old men like you and I are getting pushed aside, and I’m not complaining, but I wish I could have prepared her more.”

“I’m sure you’ve done your best,” Iroh said confidently. “Katara is one of the finest water benders it has ever been my pleasure to encounter. And I’ve seen you in action.”

“Katara is my best student.” Pakku smiled proudly. “I’ve never had anyone catch on so quickly. She’s creative and she has a stubbornness about her that I rarely see in water benders. She won’t allow herself to do anything but succeed. It has served her well, and I’m sure it will continue to serve her well as she continues to grow into her abilities. However, her abilities as a bender are not what I’m worried about. She is young. There are some who won’t like this.”

“Yes,” Iroh agreed. “But as you said, this is a young person’s game. The Council  and the leaders of the Water Tribes may have some objections to it at first, but Katara has proven herself not only a skilled warrior, but a stirring leader. As a diplomat, admittedly she has some learning to do, but she’s still more qualified for this than just about anyone.”

“Do you really think this will work?” Pakku asked, opening his eyes to look at Iroh.

“Do you really think Katara can handle this?” Iroh countered, taking another sip of tea. Pakku didn’t answer him for a long time. Then a smile slowly spread across his face.

“I think Katara could bring nations to their knees if she set her mind to it,” Pakku said. “But don’t let her know I said that. I have a reputation to uphold.” 

“It seems we have our decision

[romanceandshenanigans]

Writer Q&A Game

Thanks to @clairelsonao3 for tagging me!

1. What motivates you to write?

I'm not exactly sure tbh. It almost feels like a compulsion. There are days where I simply do not feel good in my body if I haven't written anything. Then there are others where I can't bring myself to write because I'm too tired or too distracted from life. Honestly the second I get a clear head and enough time to myself, I'll start writing.

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

This isn't from my WIP, but from a fanfic I wrote a while ago. I want to try to find a way to incorporate it into something. Not sure where though.

“I know this seems like it’s coming out of nowhere,” he said, “but promise it’s not. I’ve had a long time to think about it.  A few years, actually. I guess, I just didn’t realize how deep I was in it until about five minutes ago.”

She kept silent, but the simple fact she hadn’t told him to get out gave him the confidence to keep going. . 

“I meant it when I said I’m crazy about you. I like that you take your sugar with a drop of coffee.  I like how you sing to yourself when you’re happy.  I like that you never seem to get cold.  I like that you never lose your head under fire, but still need me to get rid of spiders. I like that you can laugh at yourself.  I like that you can laugh at me. Hell, I like that you’re perfectly willing to slap my face if the situation calls for it.

I like so many things about you Liz, and that’s just the stuff I found out on accident.  I can only imagine the stuff I’d learn if I started loving you on purpose."

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

I really do enjoy writing Finn. The boy just makes my smile.

Close second is another OC which I wrote for fanfic who I want to save and put someplace else, Lucy. She's my softest girl who has a lot of love to give. Might figure out a way to put her in this regency setting somewhere, but who knows.

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

The first draft spree. The moment when you get an idea and you have write it down as quickly as possible. It's rough and definitely will need some editing, but that rush cannot be topped. It just feels satisfying to exorcise even the smallest of scenes out of my body.

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Dialogue, hands down. It's at least the part I've gotten the most compliments on.

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

I've only just started to dip my toe in, but I really do love answering asks. I like seeing other writer's process and knowing I'm not alone. It's just fun!

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

I've been using Scrivener and it's really helped me keep everything organized. I have a very conspiracy board way of drafting, so having all my random snippets in one place really helps.

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

Not sure world building is my strong suit for this current WIP. I suppose I'm enjoying expanding the world of the theatre, but I admittedly need to do more research.

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Write anyway. It doesn't have to be the scene that's giving you trouble. It doesn't even have to be for the piece you're trying to focus on, just don't get out of the habit of writing. Once you lose that momentum, it takes a long time to get it back.

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

Gotta give a shout out to @clairelsonao3 for being so welcoming in my introduction to the writeblr community. And @janec23, for being one of the few specifically romance writers to reach out.

But I really can't begin to thank all the people who have followed me from my fanfic blog over to this one. It really means so much to know people are interested in reading anything I put out there.

@flapjacques, @jo-harrington, @can-of-pringles, @handahbear, @auroramagpie, @justanothersadperson93, @sad-cat-hours, @ghostface001, @theowlwhocameback, @mattmurdocksscars, @roruna, @everything-intertwined, @sweetjedi, @arcanerazil, @vibratingbonesbis, @delirious0pandemonium, @llovelykenobi, @geek-girl7, @mixedupanddown

Know that I love and appreciate you all.

I'm also going to leave this an OPEN tag to anyone who wants to do this, and especially invite everyone who I have tagged above. (and

[elizaditton]

TSTBA And Life Update

Hey everyone, I thought I'd give an update on what's going on with me and on my progress with Too Small To Be Afraid. TL;DR at the bottom for those who just want the quick deets.

I've been struggling to work on the story since the start of the summer, mainly because I got a "real" job (as part of the IT department at a local high school). Despite the fact that it's only 17.5 hours a week (3.5 hours every weekday), it was a lot more than what I was used to (which was literally doing nothing except for volunteering at various places maybe one to three times a week), and it took me a really, really long time to adjust to that mentally. I would come home dead tired and just... not feel like writing. Or doing anything at all. Sometimes I'd come home at 3:00 pm and proceed to take The World's Longest Nap™ only to wake up when it was time to go to bed anyway. Part of this, I realize, is probably the result of an undiagnosed sleeping disorder of some kind (my psychiatrist says maybe sleep apnea) mixed with ADHD telling my brain to Not Work™. But yeah, this has been a major contributing factor in my lack of writing time recently. And on top of that, I got another job working for my church on Sundays as a Production Assistant, which has so far been awesome, but it means I'm also exhausted on weekends. Not only am I working 7 hours on Sunday (setup + rehearsal + service + do all that again for the second service), but I'm also waking up at 4:30 am now at the very latest on Sundays depending on what campus I'm working at. And on top of all that, I'm still working occasionally for my old boss one Saturday out of every month until he wants me to start coming in more frequently. So all in all, I'm pretty much working every day but Saturday, except for when I'm also working on Saturday. And I do enjoy working all of these jobs, it's just that I've been struggling to adjust to working so much and how to balance that with my hobbies and my home and family life. So there's been little time for writing these past few months.

The writing club I was a part of also lowkey disbanded as we haven't been meeting for several months. (Hi if any of you are reading this, I miss you guys lol.) Before we stopped meeting, I was pumping out a new chapter at least every two weeks, and it was amazing! I was part of a group that encouraged each other to write and on top of that even edited/critiqued each other's writing. I really do miss it. The group always got me so motivated to write during the week and to write during our meetings, and I haven't felt that same joy about writing since we stopped meeting. I'm thinking I'll start another writing group, either online or at my church. Leaning towards at my church since I need in-person contact with people, but idk hit me up if you're interested in an online writer's group??? Or being a beta reader???

Lastly, something that's actually related to the story itself. The plot. Hoooooooo boy the plot. The plot is... a thing that exists. There's things I want to tie into the story that I want to be a big deal, but I'm not sure if I introduced enough elements beforehand for things to make sense if I go the route I want? Then there's the fact that I look back at the first few chapters and sort of cringe, thinking of all the things I'd change if I would let myself have at it before the first draft is done. But yeah. Things are... going. I've been very, VERY slowly but surely working on fixing up things in my outline so I know where I'm going, but yeah, all the aforementioned has kinda made it hard to actually write.

So that's where I've been. So where do we go from here?

For one thing, I'm at least somewhat confident that chapter 18 WILL come out in the next few weeks, before the end of the month. It's going to be a long one, and I hope it's worth the wait.

I previously had a goal of finishing my first draft by the end of the year, but if I'm honest, I'm thinking I won't get there until at least the spring of 2025. And then, of course, after that comes editing, revising, rewriting, and so on. I'll likely be writing at least a second draft before I even think about printing.

But can you expect me to update more regularly from now on? To be honest, I have no idea. All I know is that this book is still my dream, and I haven't given up on it yet. As long as this fire continues to burn within me, I'm going to continue to write. As long as it takes. Until it's done. But maybe starting another writing club would help hold me accountable for regular updates, ha ha.

Thank you all for your unwavering support as I've gone through this journey. Whenever I see someone's been enjoying this story, it fills me with so much joy, you don't understand. I hold every little comment close to my heart.

Thanks for reading, and I hope to see you soon with an update to the story!

TL;DR: I suddenly acquired three jobs and am very tired all the time. This combined with no accountability after my writing club lowkey disbanded has made writing difficult. I'm still writing, slowly but surely. Expect a new (and long) chapter this month for sure. Hmu if interested in starting a writing club/being a beta reader btw

[celestialcrownsvn]

1/1/2024

🥳🥳🥳

I can't believe I've had occasion to use this picture twice now... Celestial Crowns has survived two New Years!

Well I reached my goal, I finished editing/programming Lune's route and have sent it off to the testers before the new year! I am actually looking for MORE testers, so if you're interested, please reach out to me via discord (min5880) or email (harlevinvns@gmail.com) and I'll get you set up. It will require reading through the route (about 65K words) by 1/31. The game is about 10 hours long including the common route, which you can skip if you've played the demo before. The programming is very minimal right now, it's just backgrounds expressions and some light music to give the vibe but allow the tester to focus on the story.

Kickstarter Rewards

I haven't had time to get to the route gameplay video yet, the end of the year was a whirlwind. But I hope to get it out next week!

What's Next

I am going to review the results from the other route testing and start formulating my plan for the third draft! Which I'll be starting at the end of January once the responses for Lune's route is in as well. That way I can see what needs to change big picture-wise and can make confident edits.

I'll be putting in more work on a secret, CC-related project that I hope to reveal soon! It's been a little pushed back with some other things that have come up but next week things will be less hectic for me.

Wishing you guys all the best in the New Year! Thank you all for your support in what's my biggest commercial project yet. I've been so touched by the response to CC and I can't thank everyone enough for your kind words and shares. And of course, getting it kickstarter funded! 2023 was a great year for CC, here's hoping 2024 is even better!