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farfromtommy · 4 years ago

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home (sebastian stan x fem!reader)

not my gif

summary: sebastian is interviewed during quarantine and is asked about life at home with his wife and kids

a/n: i was so ready to post my first draft of this and it was 2800 words and i read it again and hated it and deleted so much stuff but wrote even more now its 3600 words WHAT AM I DOINGGG. i read a fic in this sort of style and absolutley loved it. i don’t remember who wrote it but i believe it was a chris evans x reader. if you know what it is please let me know! the italics are the interviewer and regular text is sebastian! thanks for reading in advance! this was mildly edited for grammatical mistakes i will edit it soon i have so much school work i’ve fallen behind on but spent hours writing this oop

wordcount: 2,800

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Sebastian! It is really good to see you. How are you? How is life at home?

-Hey! It’s good to see you, too. I’m doing pretty well, considering. I have

nothing to complain about. I’m here with my wife and kids and we’re enjoying this time with each other.

How is everyone at home handling the madness?

-We’re all doing fairly well. It’s not easy having to change our routines so drastically, especially with 2 toddlers. They were frustrated with us and we were frustrated with them at first, but we adjusted and are trying to take it day by day.

As you know, we’re doing these interviews with a handful of celebrities, talking a little about their lives as parents during these unprecedented times. As a fairly new father, we were interested to see how things have been in the Stan household and a little more about your family life. Thank you for allowing us to ask you these questions. I know you keep your personal life private from the public.

-I don’t mind at all, I love talking about them. I could go on and on about them for days, so ask away.

How did you meet your wife, Y/N?

-I met her through a mutual friend. They had this party that we were both invited to and had introduced us. I believe she had gotten out of a pretty serious relationship not too long before we met, and from the get-go was not interested in talking to me at all.

How long before she gave you a chance?

-After a few drinks I went up to her and told her if she didn’t want to go out with me she didn’t have to, but that I heard so many great things about her and wanted to get to know her better. We exchanged numbers and we talked on the phone almost daily and when she was ready, I took her out on a date. The rest is history.

Where did meeting her fall into your life career-wise? What were you working on when you met her?

-We met in April of 2014, so I believe Cap 2 had just premiered and I was signing on to do The Martian and The Bronze.

Was she a fan of any of your work before you met?

-She had told me on one of those phone calls before we had officially started dating that she was a fan of shows like Pretty Little Liars, New Girl and was a huge fan of Gossip Girl, which I was on for a considerable amount of time, and I guess she didn’t realize it until I said something about it. Very early on I had promised to cook her dinner so she went to my place and we had dinner and then drank too much wine and watched a handful of the episodes I was in. The whole time she couldn’t get over how different I looked.

I’ve seen the pictures of you two at your movie premieres, does she like going to those with you?

-She loves it when we dress up and go somewhere nice, so premieres are right up her alley. She doesn’t participate in the interviews or anything but loves walking the carpet with me and standing in front of the photographers. I always have her close to me and I’ll be saying things to her to make her laugh, which in turn makes me laugh. We get good shots out of those moments.

What was the very first premiere you took her to?

-Our first premiere was probably Civil War. I had taken her to some film festivals and other events before but that was our first big movie premiere together. We actually got married shortly after that premiere.

I remember when you both walked out on the carpet at the Toronto Film Festival in 2017 for the premiere of I, Tonya, you had a pretty big surprise for everyone.

-Indeed we did. Y/N was about 34 weeks pregnant with our twin girls when we went and that's how we announced it! She was nervous about everything that day but she looked phenomenal and stole the carpet. We have a joke that she’s always pregnant when we go because she was 16 or 17 weeks along with our son when we went for the premiere of Endings, Beginnings in 2019.

That is amazing, I didn’t know that!

-No one did except for us, until now!

What would she say has been her favorite movie you’ve been in?

-That’s a hard one. Every time a new movie comes out with me in it, she says it’s her favorite. But I think it would have to be between Endings, Beginnings or Hot Tub Time Machine.

Hot Tub Time Machine is definitely the right answer to that question.

-I agree!

Let’s talk a little bit about your kids. You have 2 daughters and a son?

-Yes! Y/N and I had our twin girls, Genevieve and Elena, in 2017 and our son Luca earlier this year.

You sent me a few pictures of them and they are beautiful. Congratulations to you and Y/N on the new baby. How is everyone adjusting to the new addition?

-Thank you! I think now that we have a somewhat steady routine now, it’s a little easier for all of us. He’s only 3 months old so he’s still waking up every few hours to eat and it was hard on us for the first few weeks since we still have 2 toddlers requiring our attention as long as their eyes are open. But being home all the time and not working at all has given us the time we needed to establish a new routine for us with an extra person in our home. Y/N and I are a great team and work well together.

Do the girls help you guys out at all with Luca?

-They love helping Y/N with Luca. We bought them some of those creepy baby alive dolls that you can feed and change their diapers when we first found out she was pregnant, and they were thrilled. Once we brought them home they couldn’t believe they had a real baby to take care of. It’s the sweetest thing ever.

What kind of things do they do?

-Y/N is breastfeeding Luca, so she’ll sit on the rocking chair in our bedroom or on the couch and is confined to that spot for however long he eats for and she always gets super thirsty while doing it. So I bought her this water bottle that keeps her water cold and is easy to carry around when she’s holding him, but she never remembers to fill it before she sits down to feed him, so they will run to the kitchen and fill it for her. Or if she forgets her phone in the bedroom, they’ll go and grab it for her. They sit next to her and talk to Luca about their cartoons or anything they think of. When I’m on diaper duty, they grab the wipes for me and help me pick out his new outfit. Gen loves picking out his clothes and Elena helps me put them on him.

That is amazing, you and Y/N are raising some pretty wonderful kids.

-They are pretty remarkable, they take after their mom.

Who do your kids take after, looks-wise?

-The girls look more and more like Y/N every day. Her parents sent us pictures from when she was their age and it’s scary how identical the three of them are. Luca is starting to look a little bit like how I did when I was a baby, I’m super pumped about that. They all have blue eyes very similar to mine, and all have my cleft chin.

Is it safe to say Gen and Elena are daddy’s girls and Luca is a mama’s boy?

-Absolutely. There are days when I cannot get Luca to relax and stop fussing but the minute he hears Y/N’s voice, he’s calm and it’s like nothing is wrong. His favorite place in the world is on her chest with his ear against her heart. He loves to stare at her whenever she’s holding him or if I’m holding him and she’s across the room, he’s got his eyes on her. He’s always just absolutely taken by her and refuses to let her out of his sight. He gets it from me. The girls are a little more complicated. When they’re full of energy and want to be rowdy and obnoxious, they run right to me because I love chasing them around the house or having them climb all over me. When they are chilled out and want to play with their dolls, color, or watch cartoons they always go to Y/N. The three of them love laying in our bed watching cartoons with one girl on either side of Y/N. I bet that’s what they’re doing right now. But they’re 100% daddy’s girls, don’t let the cuteness in our bed fool you.

How do you and Y/N handle the inevitable tantrums?

-We have created a really good system with them. If one of them starts to have a meltdown we separate them before the other one starts getting upset, we take whoever is having the meltdown and sit down on the floor and try to get them to talk to us about why they’re upset and allow them to express their feelings to us. We want to teach them how to understand and express what they’re feeling and develop the skills to deal with them in the future. The same goes for if they have tantrums at the same time or if they’re upset with me or Y/N. When they’re ready we put the girls together and have them apologize or say whatever needs to be said.

What do your days look like now that you’re at home with them?

-Luca wakes us up at about 6 am to eat and a diaper change. Mornings are one of the only times Y/N and I have to ourselves so we go back to bed and just enjoy being there with each other. The girls come in around 8 and want to get under the covers and cuddle with us for a bit. Sometimes we’ll get Luca out of his bassinet and it’ll be all 5 of us, but usually we take this time to love on our girls for a bit before we get our day started. After an hour or so they start to get hungry so one of us will stay in bed with the kids while the other handles breakfast. Once we get them out of bed and they’ve had breakfast I play with them before I do some work. I’ll work for a couple of hours and then we’ll eat lunch together and all the kids go down for naps.

-During their nap Y/N and I are working out a little and tidying up around the house. When the girls wake up they’re full of energy and we’re chasing them around and keeping Luca happy until dinner. After dinner they all have bath time with mom and I’m finishing up some work and doing the endless amounts of laundry we have. Bedtime for the girls is 9 pm and after they’re asleep we’re in the living room with Luca until he starts to get tired and he goes back into our room and goes to sleep. When all the kids are in bed we’re in the living room watching a movie or listening to music and talking to each other. We’ll take a shower or a bath together before we get ready for bed and do the same thing all over again!

Wow! You guys have your hands full it seems.

-Kids are no joke. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when Luca is mobile. My life nowadays is chasing after toddlers and laundry. So. Much. Laundry. But I really wouldn’t have it any other way, I love being a dad.

Have you thought about taking everyone to Romania and showing them where you grew up?

-Y/N and I went in 2016 while we were in Europe for our honeymoon and spent a couple of days there. We had talked about going this year or the next and leaving the girls with her parents but then we found out she was pregnant with Luca and we don’t want to leave him when he’s too young. Maybe when they’re older and can appreciate it more we’ll take them, I’d love for them to learn a little bit about their history.

Have you taught them any Romanian?

-I have. My mom encouraged me to introduce them to it when they’re young so they’ll absorb it better. The girls know a couple of words and can understand and speak basic sentences when I’m talking to them in Romanian. They’re picking it up a lot quicker than I thought they would. Luca just giggles when I talk to him in any language.

What about Y/N? Did you ever try teaching her?

-I did, and still am. One of the ways I tried impressing her when we first got together was how I could speak a different language and she loved it and made me promise to teach her the basics. When things got serious and I introduced her to my mom, we spent the whole evening teaching her simple words and phrases. She’s good at picking up what we’re saying and putting everything together to understand what we said. I translated for her the entire time we were in Romania. She knew what she wanted to say but didn’t know how to say it. She’s getting there.

What changes when you are cast for a movie that is going to keep you away from home for an extended amount of time?

-Before I met Y/N and had kids, I was taking jobs wherever and didn’t care if I was going to be away for months at a time. Once we brought up about settling down and buying a house together and starting a family we had a long conversation about where my career was going to go and how we were going to fit a family into that. She never wanted me to give up what I love doing and always said a family could wait until I was ready to step back from acting. I knew most of the things I’d be working on would be based in New York or Atlanta. We have our house in New York and it only made sense to have a house in Atlanta. Now whenever I’m needed in Atlanta for work, we pack up some things and have it shipped to our house down there.

How did you handle having to shoot for Infinity War and Endgame for so long?

-Luckily I didn’t have a huge role in either of them and didn’t have to be on set as much compared to Evans or really anyone else in that movie. Shooting started for Infinity War January of 2017 and we bought our house down there just a few months prior. I had some other things I was working on in Atlanta and we had just decided to stay down there until everything was wrapped. We got there at the beginning of February and found out Y/N was pregnant with the girls about a month after that. We wrapped Infinity War in July and Endgame started in August. We did the premiere for I, Tonya, and went back to Atlanta since I would be needed there again. Y/N went into labor a few weeks later and we had the girls in Atlanta right in the middle of shooting Endgame.

Did you take them to set to introduce them to everyone?

-We did. We had them a couple of weeks before we shot the final scenes in Endgame and when Y/N was a bit stronger, I asked her to bring them to set for morale and dear God everyone lost their minds. Everyone knew we had them but I wasn’t on set at all until that day and a couple of hours into shooting I told everyone to be prepared for what was coming and with everyone standing around looking confused, here comes Y/N with these 2 tiny babies in her arms. I have some pretty epic pictures and me holding them with the metal arm on and Evans holding them with the Cap suit.

Who do you trust most to babysit them out of everyone you worked with on Endgame?

-Evans is definitely on the top of my babysitter's list. He did watch them a few times when he was in Atlanta for a another movie while we were shooting Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Y/N and I needed a date night and he offered to stay at our house and watch them. The girls adore him. Mackie is great with them, too. I could probably call Tom Holland if I was desperate.

Did Y/N have Luca while you were shooting The Falcon and the Winter Soldier?

-Yes. We started shooting in November of 2019 in Atlanta, and she was about 24 weeks pregnant. I took her and the girls with me and Y/N went into labor in February.

When production was set to move to Europe, were they all going with you?

-So when we found out we were set to shoot in Prague we knew Y/N and Luca weren’t going to be able to go since he was going to be too young to travel out of the country. We planned to get her and the baby back to New York in March and I was going to take the girls to Europe with me, so Y/N could focus on Luca and not have to take care of all 3 of them by herself. We were shooting for 3 weeks so it wasn’t a crazy amount of time for us to be apart.

How did the virus change those plans?

-When news of the virus spreading broke we got Y/N, Luca, and the girls to New York before it spread here. Y/N has some family in Florida so they drove up and flew to New York with her so she had help with the baby and the girls. Production was halted the first week of March and I was on the next plane to New York to get back to them.

How scary was it sitting at home with your 3 young kids just watching how quickly the virus was spreading?

-It was terrifying. As a parent all you want is to protect your kids from anything that can hurt them, and you’ll do anything to make sure they’re safe and healthy. I had never felt so helpless. When the numbers kept rising and rising here I felt like we had made a mistake coming back and wished we would’ve stayed in Atlanta. But we didn’t know how long this was going to be happening so it was ultimately the right move to come back here. I’m the one who does all the grocery shopping and leaving the house for essentials. Y/N and Luca have had a few postpartum appointments and checkups but that’s the only time either of them is going out. We are lucky to have a yard for the girls to run around and be able to play outside and for us to get fresh air.

We’re just about wrapped up here but I have a few more questions. These are questions that some fans sent in. How has your life changed over these past few years since becoming a husband and father?

-It’s changed for the better. Meeting Y/N was probably one of the greatest things that have ever happened to me and has given me so many amazing opportunities in my life I wouldn’t have had otherwise. I’m not even just talking about becoming a dad, but she has helped me see things in me I never saw before and she pushed me to become better. I’ve become a better person because of her. There are so many things having kids has taught me, I could probably write books about it. I love my kids with everything in me and couldn’t imagine my life without them, and I never want to.

Do you want more kids?

-Y/N and I would love to have another baby. I don’t want to overwhelm myself or Y/N with adding another baby into the mix too soon. I still have a lot of commitments I’ve made to work once all of this craziness is over. Maybe in a couple of years when I can step back from acting, we’ll revisit the idea of another baby. I do need one more boy to level the playing field. There are going to be 2 teenage girls in this house eventually, I’m going to need all the testosterone I can get. But right now, everything is perfect.

What is one thing you want to make sure your kids remember about you and Y/N after you guys are long gone?

-I want them to remember the love we had for them, and for each other. There’s a line from The Office I always think about every time I see Y/N. “When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that.” My kids are never going to doubt for a second the love I have for Y/N. I hope they grow up believing in that sort of love and one day can share it with their person like I am with mine.

Thank you Sebastian for this amazing interview. I send all my love and well wishes to you, Y/N, Genevieve, Elena, and Luca.

-I’ll be sure to pass that along, thank you so much!

a/n: im a sucker for dad!seb this made me SO SOFT

tagging some mutuals : @bellamys @constantaking @auroraevans @angrybirdcr @auroraevans @tfandtws @smilexcaptainx @rubberducky-jrr @rosetintedbucky @disaffectedbarnes @cosmicbucky @spideyspoods @hollandsosterfield @spideybrie @wildflowerbarnes @marvelxholland @cutesparker @afictionaladventure16

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basilrazzledazzle · 4 years ago

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dating the haikyuu boys, pt 2

y'all REALLY liked that last one omg so here's a few more.

(a/n: i have written kageyama's part three times and oikawa's twice why can't this stupid app SAVE MY DRAFTS)

anyway this one is dedicated my one and only follower you're a real one homie 😌

Kageyama Tobio

he was the one to ask you out

tbh he had probably been pining for a hot minute before he finally got himself together

you had been helping him in class during free time because ya boy isn't the smartest and needed someone to help him study

and one day he was watching you explain a concept and he couldn't help but notice wow uh,,, y/n is really cute,, wait what??

anyway there's a big test coming up and our boy kags is stressing

so you volunteer to help him after school

but he has practice

so you both decide that you'd go to his house after practice

so you meet him at the school and you guys walk together

and you hadn't really talked about your personal lives

but he told you about how much volleyball and his friends meant to him

which was kinda wild because you had always thought of him as cute but intimidating

so anyway you stayed over for a little over an hour but it was getting late

and as you're getting ready to leave he volunteers to walk you home

you oblige because it's getting late plus you don't mind the thought of being together in the dark

and turns out he's just an absolute dork because he's cracking jokes the whole way home

and before you go inside he gets kinda flustered

"hey y/n?"

"mhm?"

"would you uh,, wanna hang out this friday?"

"but we don't have any tests or anything monday??"

just bc you're tutoring him doesn't mean you're not a dumbass

"no like a,, uh like a date"

o h

you agree ofc because who in their right mind would turn him down

i really think he would do something like taking you to an aquarium

mostly because he likes to watch you get excited over all the colorful fish

i've decided that kageyama doesn't know what to do with pda

because ya boy definitely gets flustered easily

however

he could never get upset with your affection

so you guys talked a lot during school but i feel like the most pda that would happen would be like hand holding

anyway after a couple weeks of dating you're walking to his house with him

and you mention that you're kinda chilly and wish you had brought your sweater

this boy has his jacket off in an instant

and also insists you wear it when he walks you to your house after "studying"

and you're wearing it at lunch the next day

and hinata asks kags why you have it

and since our favorite tangerine cannot keep his mouth shut, half the school knows by the end of the week

Oikawa Tooru

he asked you

he knew he had almost all of the school wrapped around his finger

except you were always one to call him out on his bullshit

and he found that hot

anyway he was kind of low-key flustered when he was asking you out

the two of you were both the captains of your volleyball teams

so you had that in common

and his excuse to talk to you was for you to teach him how to gain the respect of his teammates

you said he couldn't get anyone's respect if he continued to act as arrogant as he did

which kinda threw him off

but he asked you out anysay

you. laughed.

"are you serious?"

"why wouldn't i be serious??"

you agreed to ONE date

but it turned into several

anyway

this boy LIVES to show you off

would literally swoop by your locker in between classes just to give you a kiss

low-key clingy asf

one day you mysteriously found his volleyball jacket in your locker

you could take a hint

he saw you wearing it after school and OH BOY

he was whipped

you probably could've gotten away with murder if you had been wearing his jacket, he thought

lots of movie dates at his house

and even though he liked to talk a lot he was surprisingly a good listener

mostly because he thought it was hot seeing you angry as you wanted over the latest bullshit

it took him a bit to open up to you tbh

but he became very vulnerable about how he was scared to let down his team

on another note

he knew he could get anything he wanted when he was wearing his glasses

god he's such an asshole

but so attractive

Daichi Sawamura

he asked you out but also technically didn't

but boy was FLUSTERED

like he was so nervous

even though you guys had a pretty good relationship already and had amazing chemistry

you guys had been friends for a while

and you were hanging out at the library

supposedly studying but in reality most of the time had been spent joking around and goofing off

he was really trying his best to stay on task but you kept finding memes that you just had to show him

so you leaned over close to him with your phone in hand

and your boy just went for it

he pulled away almost immediately though

"y/n i am so sorry i shouldn't have done that-"

you kissed again him just to shut him up

which he was completely okay with

but then you realized you were in a library

where making out was generally frowned up

it took a minute before you officially became a couple though

tbh you were probably wearing his jacket before you were official

and when you were wearing his jacket??

oh boy

you could have gotten your way with anything

he was so whipped and seeing you in his clothes just had him wrapped around your finger

dates with him were probably pretty casual tbh

lots of cuddling at each other's houses while watching netflix

arguments only happen because you don't like him overworking himself

even then it's not a full blown argument

he'll just keep doing what he's doing (homework, volleyball shit, etc) and give you some bs excuse about him having to hold himself to high standards

other than that he's extremely agreeable and willing to compromise with anything

ugh i just love him sm

Hinata Shoyo

you asked him

you had most of your classes together and found his cheerfulness infectious

and one day you were in the courtyard setting a volleyball against the wall and you heard him come up behind you

"hey y/n!! will you set to me?"

after that you guys had an immediate friendship

plus you lived near each other, so when he didn't have practice, you guys walked together most of the way home

he was very energetic and practically bouncing the whole way home

so one day you decided to just go for it

"hey shoyo, are you busy this friday?"

he wasn't

"do you wanna,, i dunno, hang out?"

"what, do you wanna practice?"

ugh he's so oblivious what a dummy

"no, like a date"

boy turned RED he didn't know what to do

"uh, y-yeah! sure!"

idk i feel like going to a park with him would be cute

y'all would get some sort of fast food to take with you and just hang out on the swings and talk

it was chill but also allowed him to move around a lot because you already know this boy cannot sit still

anyway you were walking back that night and he noticed you shiver

bc it was kinda chilly

and he's like "hey y/n are you cold?"

and you assure him you're fine

but he insists you take his jacket anyway

because wow a gentleman

and surprisingly it's tsukishima who notices you with it on monday because you had first period with him

"hey what're you doing wearing shorty's jacket, y/n?"

"y/n's and i are dating, thank you very much! they can wear my jacket as they please."

tsukki couldn't believe it

neither could anyone else tbh

but you were both happy and that's all that mattered :))

ahh anyway that's what i have for them. i hope u enjoy these!! i really have fun writing them but they take forever omg

feel free to request a one shot / imagine or something like this!! i need something to fill my time lmao

anyway thank u for reading!! please like n reblog (if u wanna, ofc) ily all!!

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minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong · 6 years ago

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You’ve Got Mail: Jungkook One Shot

Request: Hi! I really love your writings! If your requests are still open, can you pls write a Jungkook story? Ex-lovers in high school where he broke up with her because he got bored or something like that. Then they met again in university and wants her back again. (Angst but happy ending pls). Thank you!

Description: After a messy breakup with high school heartthrob Jeon Jungkook, you swore off dating once you got into college. Even though it left you lonely, it was easier than being hurt. But one fateful blind date changes everything for you, and you realize that maybe isolation isn’t the answer either.

Word Count: 12.9k

Pairing: Jungkook x (gender neutral) Reader

Tags: Barista!Reader, Graphic Design Student!Jungkook, Non-Idol!Au, Ex-Lovers to Enemies to Lovers (? I guess? Haha)

Genre: Whole lotta angst, fluffy ending

Warnings: None!

A/N: It’s been two weeks since I’ve posted wtf!! But I’m back and less than a week away from the Rose Bowl concert, holy cow. This ask has been in my inbox for MONTHS, so I need to say thank you to the anon who sent it for waiting so long! I really enjoyed this request, so I hope you guys like it too!

Also, if you want to follow me on Twitter please do so! My handle is @/plzpunchmebts. I would post a link, but rumor has it Tumblr killed links and I’m not taking any chances. I’ll be posting concert videos and pics there, so please give it a follow if you’d like to see that!

- Mercury

You were never too keen on blind dates. Everything about them felt…artificial. It wasn’t that you were a romantic, not especially, but you had to admit that being forced on a date by meddlesome friends took some of the magic out of dating. When Sua had mentioned a cute new boy in her class who was too busy studying to date, you had to admit the red flags began waving in your mind. Of course, you could relate. College was taxing and it was difficult to find time to even eat three meals, let alone date. Perhaps if things had cropped up organically, you’d have been more excited. But the forced union was a little cumbersome.

The nerves and the insecurity and the fear, none of it was especially fun. But Sua had been adamant that the two of you would hit it off, and with her eyes round and expectant, her brows raised, and her lips pouted, you really didn’t have any room to deny her. You figured one night of discomfort was better than months of guilt, and even though you figured things wouldn’t work out with this mystery man, you’d humor your friend. After all, making friends in college wasn’t easy.

Making friends in general wasn’t easy.

You sighed as you waited with your chilly hands clasped around your phone, standing at the entrance to the subway station where Sua had instructed. The mouth of the entrance was muggy with exiting passengers as the wave of people clambered up the steep stairs and onto the street, lined on all sides by buildings that reached the sky. Every now and again, someone would graze their shoulder against yours without apology, or perhaps step on the toe of your sneaker. You took a few inching steps backward, glancing over your shoulder to be sure you wouldn’t hit anyone. Not that they’d care. You backed up until you were out of the streamline and instead took up a quieter spot beside a fish cake vendor.

You checked your phone once again, furrowing your brow. Sue said eleven, didn’t she? You pulled up your messages and scrolled through carefully, head tilted to the side as you read her most recent text.

Sua: He said he’s running a little late, but he told me to tell you to wait.

You: I am waiting…

Sua: He says he’s sorry and that the subway is close to the terminal now.

You: That’s good.

Sua: He says sorry again.

Sua: You know, this is kinda dumb. Let me just give you his number so you can text him.

Sua: 51-XXX-XX24

You pursed your lips and crossed your arms over your chest. Sua was right, anyway. Making her your proxy wouldn’t really do you much good, considering she wasn’t here to help you in person. But wouldn’t it be a bit forward to just…text this guy? You didn’t know him yet. And besides, what could you say that Sua hadn’t? Hey, I’m doing this out of obligation, sorry to disappoint! or you can just go back home now and we can tell Sua things didn’t work out. You shook your head and rubbed your fingertip along the screen of your phone, working your lower lip between your teeth. You were just looking for an out. And really, you didn’t want to bail after Sua had gone through the trouble of setting things up. Still, just texting a stranger was a little…

But then again, he’d agreed to the blind date too, hadn’t he? It wasn’t like you were someone he was forced to talk to. He’d come on his own accord. Rubbing your bare forearm in the spring breeze with one hand, you used the other to tap the phone number and save it and, with only your index finger, drafted a slow message.

You: Hey, I’m Sua’s friend. I think we’re supposed to have a blind date today? Haha. That sounded kind of awkward…

Within seconds, your phone dinged with an incoming text and you jumped, nervous, before glancing at your phone once more.

Blind Date: Oh! Haha, hello. It wasn’t awkward at all. Ahh, I’m really sorry I’m late. I wasn’t looking where I was going and I bumped into a cyclist and he gave me an earful so I missed the first subway.

Blind Date: But I’m one stop away! You’re outside exit 2 right?

You: Yeah! I’m next to a fish cake stall. I’m wearing a red blouse, so you can’t miss me :-)

Damn, you thought, was that smiley face too much? You picked at the skin around your nail and glanced up to see the near-constant flow of people was still in full force, the subway exit spitting pedestrians onto the cement sidewalk in droves. You squinted a little, trying to keep a good visual on the staircase leading out. With a sigh, you leaned over your bag to slip your phone inside when it buzzed again. Despite yourself, your heart raced and you eagerly unlocked it to see if he’d responded.

Blind Date: Cute! Let’s get some fish cakes then before we go to the movie.

Blind Date: Ah, subway just pulled in! I’m only a few sweaty staircases away now~

Blind Date: :P

Without meaning to, you smiled a little. Your nerves settled as you leaned on your right foot, grinning softly at your screen. He seemed like a good guy, at least. You were relieved. After the jerks you dated in high school, you’d sworn off dating for a while. Maybe trying to cleanse your palate. It was…oddly refreshing to be talking to someone who didn’t make you feel like you weren’t all that important. Like you were disposable.

Still smiling, you responded with a simple text.

You: I’m excited to meet you :-D

“Y/N?” asked a familiar voice from beside you.

A voice that sent chills up your spine, and not the good kind.

You stiffened and turned, eyes wide, toward the one person you’d been hoping fervently to avoid for life. Standing with his big, brown eyes wide and his hair slightly windswept, Jeon Jungkook stared down at you like you were a ghost. Your lips parted and, heart hammering, you opened and closed your jaw a few times. What were you supposed to say to the boy who broke your heart when you were sixteen?

Years later and he was still the heartthrob he’d been back then, only now he looked…like a man. His cheekbones were prominent, strong jaw, heavy brow and a serious, toned build like he’d lived at the gym in the years between your meetings.

You swallowed hard and slipped your phone in your bag, crossing your arms and thus closing yourself to him. You glanced up at him with a furrowed brow. “Jungkook,” you said with a sigh. “I’m actually waiting here for someone and I don’t want him to get the wrong idea, so if you could-,”

“You’re on a blind date?” asked Jungkook, lips agape.

You shrugged, glancing down the sidewalk toward the open maw of the subway exit, squinting in the hopes of catching your date’s attention. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Wait, but-,”

You sighed and shut him up with a single look his way, sharp, venomous. “I’m gonna to wait someplace else if you’re gonna keep standing beside me.”

“No, it’s not-,”

You huffed and shuffled into the crowd once more, walking purposefully away from him, but Jungkook was hot on your tail and wouldn’t let you out of his sight. Every few paces, you’d glance over your shoulder and see him following you feverishly, angling himself through the narrow spaces between bodies. But you kept going, pushing through, until you were blocks away from the subway station and Jungkook was nowhere to be seen.

You exhaled long and slow, patting your chest to calm down, and veered off toward the shops on your right, taking cover beneath an awning. Something in your bag vibrated and you jumped. Shit. Your date. The spring day sun was warm on your hands as you fumbled with your bag, grabbing your phone once again.

Blind Date: Where did you go??

You gripped your nose bridge and exhaled through your nose. Of course he’d be confused. You were lucky he was nice enough to reach out at all after seeing you weren’t where you said you’d be. You typed your reply quickly, desperate not to hurt his feelings.

You: God, I’m SO sorry. I ran into someone…from a long time ago lol. I couldn’t shake him off, so I ended up down the street a few blocks. By a Burger King.

You: I’m making a really bad impression, huh? I’m sorry. Just…he’s the LAST person I wanted to see today, you know?

You: Or…well, ever haha.

You awaited a response with bated breath, brows knit, and chewed on the inside of your cheek. This blind date was a wild card, really. Since you didn’t know him yet, you didn’t know how he’d respond. And it wouldn’t be his fault if he decided you weren’t worth all the hassle. Honestly, you might’ve been a little relieved if that was the case. Running into Jungkook…it made you remember why you avoided dating.

But despite your expectations, your phone buzzed again and you jumped to grab it.

Blind Date: This person…you really didn’t want to see him?

You: No. It’s just a painful reminder of the past.

You: !!! God, I keep saying awkward things !!! Haha, please forget I said anything. Where are you?

Blind Date: No! It’s not awkward at all. I’m just…

Blind Date: I’m sorry you had to see him then, I guess.

You: Jeez…

You: You’re a really nice guy, aren’t you?

Blind Date: Haha! I don’t know about that…

Blind Date: How about we reschedule for another time? I get the feeling you wouldn’t really be up for a movie right now anyway.

You panicked, heart kicking up. Despite everything you told yourself, you were a little bit happy he was being so understanding. And even though you were scared, you wanted to see if…well…if maybe this guy might be different.

You shook your head. Of course you shouldn’t think that way. Putting your heart out there to be toyed with and thrown aside…you didn’t want to go through it. Not really. And what relationship could be worth all that? You sucked in your breath and typed a quick response, ready to cast Jungkook and this blind date into the banks of your memory to gather dust. Even if this guy did seem sweet…

So had Jungkook, at first.

You: Yeah. That’s probably for the best. I work at that coffeeshop on campus, so I’ll shoot you a text once I get my schedule. :-)

You: I’m sorry for all the trouble today. Seriously.

You sighed and turned on your heel toward the street. If you kept on this sidewalk for a few more blocks, you’d find exit 3. And from there, it was only a 20-minute subway ride home whereupon you could finally collapse on your couch and wait for this cursed weekend to be over.

But before you could take a single step, a text came.

Blind Date: It was no trouble. :D I just feel bad that you had an unpleasant experience…

You: Hey, it’s not your fault haha.

You: Oh yeah! I never gave you my name, did I?

Blind Date: No, actually. Haha.

You: It’s Y/N.

Blind Date: It’s nice to meet you again, Y/N.

Blind Date: You can call me Nochu.

You: … Nochu … ?

Blind Date: Haha, it’s weird huh?

Blind Date: It’s a nickname I prefer.

You: Ah! I see. I’ll call you that then.

You: Nochu.

Blind Date: Y/N :-)

You stood and placed your hands on your lower back and stretched, groaning, a week later. Classes had been dragging lately and with several coworkers sick with a cold, you were one of the only employees left who wasn’t too ill to work. Your body felt like it was slowly failing you. Even your feet were sore from constantly running from place to place. And the quiet coffee shop before you made you feel like taking a long and well-needed nap. Mismatched chairs and bistro tables littered the trendy place and students congregated around the windows or the fireplace or the used bookshelf. Nobody really bothered you except to order or ask for to-go coffee sleeves. Mostly, you just stood there. For hours. Watching everything and nothing at once.

But today the energy was a little different. You’d heard from Sua that the graphic design students were approaching an important deadline, and from the looks of the crowd it seemed that deadline was heavy on everyone’s minds. Laptops and drawing tablets and plenty of coffee littered the tables as students chatted in small groups, none of them looking all too happy. You wondered what the project was, but didn’t want to bother Sua with a useless question. So instead, you just watched over customer’s shoulders as they added thick white lines to separate sections of illustrations or grabbed whole images with slender styluses and slid them to new spaces.

“Excuse me?”

You jumped and turned to the queue which up until moments ago had been completely empty. You made sure to manage your expression with a tight smile and bowed your head. “Sorry,” you said quietly, lifting your eyes to meet the customer.

And, to your shock and horror, you saw a familiar face amongst the group of thee college-aged boys. Jeon Jungkook stood in the middle, a half-pace behind the guy who had roused your attention, and if his expression was anything to go by, he was just as horrified to see you as you were to see him. You felt your back go perfectly straight, eyes wide and lips parted through which only shallow exhales escaped. Your palms grew sweaty and your heart thump-thumped to an uneven cadence.

“Um, what can I make for you?” you asked finally, managing a tight smile at the speaker of the group whose attention was affixed to the sign above your head, reading the menu with squinted eyes. “If you need more time…,” you hedged, avoiding Jungkook’s gaze which you felt burning circles into your face.

“Ah, no I’ve got it,” said the first guy with a polite smile your way. “I’ll have a green tea latte.”

You nodded and wrote it down on your notepad, just to keep things straight. Had your coworkers been stronger in their constitution, you’d have given the order to one of them to get started on. Perhaps you’d even get started yourself and leave the cashiering to them. But alas, you were alone and painfully aware of it.

“Will you be paying separately or together?” you asked, a tinge of hope in your voice. Please say together, please say together, please say together, you thought over and over, like an endless mantra.

The first boy chuckled and gave Jungkook’s shoulder a firm punch. “Like I’ll pay for these good-for-nothings,” he joked before returning his attention to you, smiling. He had a kind smile, but even that did little to ease your anxieties. You simply nodded and took his card as he stretched it out toward you.

The second guy approached, another brown-haired college kid with a polite grin and baggy spring clothes, and hummed. “I’ll do the caramel macchiato,” he said with a nod, fingers still clasping his chin as he scanned the menu and you scribbled his order. “Ah!” he said, pointing at you. You jumped, still on edge with adrenaline coursing through you, but quickly settled with a smile. “And a slice of banana bread.”

“Banana bread,” you mumbled to yourself as you wrote it. “Okay.”

The second handed you a credit card which you swiped quickly, eager to get this whole encounter over with. He took it back with a bow and a smile which you struggled to return because the moment you glanced over his shoulder you caught Jungkook’s gaze, intense, warm browns peering at you like you held answers he’d been searching for. Despite yourself, you blushed and glanced back toward your notepad.

Finally, the moment of reckoning arrived and your nerves made your hands a little shaky as they clasped the pen and paper. Your eyes wavered around the space between your own hands, measuring the empty air, desperate not to look at Jungkook again.

“Um…,” he mumbled, voice a low rumble in his chest. You almost wanted to squeeze your eyes shut altogether, even though you knew how dumb that’d make you look. “Can I get a strawberry smoothie?”

You almost laughed. It was so like him to come to a coffeeshop and order something like that. It was so like him to still have a weak palate when it came to bitter things. It was so like him to chase after you that day, to show up here on coincidence. It was so like him to be exactly who you remembered him to be. Exactly who he was back then.

Slowly, once you’d written his order down, you lifted your eyes and looked at him properly at last. He was dressed well, casual as you expected, all black as you expected, handsome as you expected. His hair was half-styled out of his eyes, and those eyes were the problem really. Dark and depthless, staring down at you with furrowed brow, jaw clenched. If anyone had doubts you two knew each other before, they’d certainly know now with the way he was watching you. The way he hadn’t taken his eyes off of you for even a second.

“That’s all?” you asked.

“Um…yeah,” he responded, blinking at you like he had more to say.

By then, his friends had begun setting up camp amongst the mismatched sofas and recliners, setting up their computers. You caught sight of a drawing tablet as its corner poked out the top of the first boy’s backpack. So they were design majors too? Maybe your blind date had met one of these guys, then. But wait. If his friends were, did that mean…

“You’re a design major?” you asked, unable to stop yourself.

But once you said it, you wished to suck the words back inside like tapioca balls through a straw because across Jungkook’s face flashed a brief glimmer of excitement, eyes wide, mouth already open and poised to respond.

“Yeah!” he said, smiling a little. “I…uh, well you remember how I liked to draw.”

You nodded, typing the total into your cash register. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Listen, Y/N, I’m really sorry about-,”

“Let’s not rehash things here,” you said, eyeing him from beneath your lashes, scanning the shop like a conspirator in search of any prying eyes, any listening ears. “It doesn’t matter anyway. We’ve both moved on so let’s just keep it at that.”

Jungkook shut his mouth and, after a long moment, sighed. “Alright,” he said, sounding defeated. You hazarded a glance up at him and found his eyes long-sighted, gazing down at the counter between you without really looking at it.

“It’ll be 3,500 won,” you said, holding out one hand towards him.

He blinked and shook his head a little, as if returning to himself, and yanked his wallet from the front pocket of his loose joggers. He pulled out a bill and handed it to you. 20,000. Was that the smallest bill he had on him? You examined it with a thinly-veiled scowl. Of course, he was probably making good money doing something impressive. That was Jungkook anyway. The type of guy who just…made things come to him. Like the universe responded to his will. You sighed and went to work on the old register, punching in the amount and sliding the bill inside. You produced his change to find him already bounding toward his friends with his broad back to you.

Panicked, you rushed to the side of the barista station and called out to him. “Hey! You forgot your change!” you shouted, cupping one hand around your mouth. A few patrons turned to look at you and Jungkook.

He barely glanced back at you when he said, “You can keep it.”

And suddenly you were blushing for a very different reason.

That jerk, you thought to yourself as you watched him plug away at some ad he was working on on his tablet. Evening had fallen slowly upon the city of Seoul, and you wanted nothing more than to stroll out into the lavender evening, forgetting this whole unpleasant day. But instead, you had to wait for your coworker, Sora, to relieve you after making you work fifteen minutes past the end of your shift. Scowling, you kept a hawk’s eye on Jungkook and, unbeknownst to him, wished silent curses upon his head. I hope you go bald, you thought. Or worse, I hope you go out for fried chicken and you get only tendons. You crossed your arms and lolled your head to the side.

You shouldn’t have expected Jungkook to change. He’d always been a ‘my pace’ kind of guy. Maybe leaving that tip was his way of flexing his money to you. That he had enough money to just throw around at random baristas he used to hook up with in high school. Or maybe he was pitying you, looking down on you for working such a menial job. Either way, it made your blood boil. You felt the money crinkle in the pocket of your jeans with every step.

You’d briefly considered spitting in his smoothie, but you didn’t want to lose your job over Jeon Jungkook.

After all, you’d already lost your youth to the kid.

You glanced outside and watched the rainclouds gathering. Of course, you’d forgotten to bring an umbrella. It wasn’t like you’d checked the weather on the way out. Grumpily, you glanced down at your phone to check the time. Twenty minutes late now. What did Sora have to do that was so important? Normally, you’d complain to a friend. But Sua was about the closest you had these days and you weren’t sure you could trouble her with it.

But…were you really friends if you didn’t reach out to her from time to time?

Sighing, you glanced around the shop, making sure nobody was watching you, and unlocked your phone. So much had already happened that a quick message didn’t seem reasonable, but you couldn’t very well bury your head in your phone so after every few clicks you’d sweep your gaze around. You settled for an anxious few words between nervous glances at the rest of the shop. Realistically, you were off the clock anyway. But you didn’t want any bad Yelp reviews on your behalf.

You: Sua, on God today is cursed.

You waited a few moments for a response before growing impatient. Everything was taking forever today: that interaction with Jungkook, Sora taking over your shift, and now Sua not responding. Of course, she had no obligation to. She was probably busy with her own preparation much like the other graphic design students. You had no right to expect that of her.

Wasn’t that your problem from the start? Expecting too much?

Your phone buzzed in response as your mind began to drift toward melancholy thoughts and as you slid it open your eyes went wide and your fingertips chilled as the blood rushed to your cheeks.

Blind Date: Hah…I’m not Sua, but I am willing to listen if you need it…?

Blind Date: Was wondering when I’d hear from you.

Mortified didn’t even begin to cover it. You cupped a hand over your lips in horror, and just as you were about to melt into a pile of melted pride on the floor, the door swung open and a breathless Sora met your eyes with a nervous smile. You swallowed hard and pocketed your phone, offering Sora your full attention. He bowed his head to you, bending at the waist, as he approached the counter.

“I am so sorry for being late!” he shouted, loud enough for every patron to glance at him and, subsequently, you.

Your flushed face went beet red as Jungkook turned to stare at you, eyes wide. Of course, another embarrassing moment in front of that guy. “U-um, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” you said, waving your hands.

He sniffled and looked up at you, eyes red with impending tears. “I really didn’t mean to, but I fell asleep after class today and-,”

“Sora, it’s cool,” you said, removing your apron and hanging it on the rack behind you. “I’m gonna go now though so I can catch my subway.”

Sora stiffened and nodded, giving you a salute before scampering behind the counter and putting on his own apron. “I really am sorry!” he called after you.

You waved a hand and rushed out onto the sidewalk, lingering beneath the awning as the rain began to drizzle from overhead. You returned your attention to your phone, pushing your hair behind your ears so you could see properly, and swallowed your nerves.

You: I…am such an idiot.

You: I’m so sorry. I was at work and I’m not supposed to be on my phone, but I just…

You: Jesus, honestly you can just delete my number. I don’t think I can look at your contact anymore without cringing.

You were poised to take a step out into the rain when your phone vibrated again and you jumped to read it with barely shaking hands.

Blind Date: No! It’s okay. Seriously.

Blind Date: I can list dumber things I’ve done today alone.

Blind Date: Besides, sounds like you need someone to talk to anyway…?

You blinked at your phone screen a few times, cocking your head to the side. Somehow, his words had calmed you down, just a little. Your flaming cheeks were cooler now when you poked one with the pad of your finger. Your heart wasn’t a hammer against your ribcage. And as you glanced over your shoulder at the window into the coffeeshop, you found Jungkook was no longer in sight. With a few texts alone, things seemed a little better.

You: I won’t bore you with all of it, haha.

You: It was more of a Sua story anyway I think.

You: I’m trying to break through that kinda hesitant first stage of friendship with her and

You: Well anyway, I’m sorry to bother you. Hope you’re doing good?

Blind Date: Haha, hey I get it. Friendships are weird. Took me a while to make any real friends this year since I was so shy.

You: You were shy?

Blind Date: Oh big time. I still don’t really know how to approach people without saying or doing something wrong.

Blind Date: Like today. I think I came across like an asshole to someone.

Blind Date: That happens a lot actually -_-

Blind Date: Being nervous makes me act weird.

You: Really? You sound really confident over text.

Blind Date: Haha really? That’s good to hear at least.

Blind Date: I’m about the least confident person I know.

Blind Date: Whew, not exactly the impression I wanted to give to a possible date! Oops.

You smiled at your phone and began typing out a response when the door by your hip swung open and out walked Jungkook and his friends. Jungkook caught your eye as your smile was slipping into a scowl and you quickly righted yourself, looking away down the busy street. You held your phone close to your chest and popped a hip out to the side, feigning disinterest.

“See you guys tomorrow,” said one boy.

“Yeah,” responded Jungkook, and you saw out the corner of your eye that the guys parted ways. Jungkook lingered beside you underneath the awning, watching you keenly. “Who were you texting?” he asked.

You stiffened and glanced up at him with a frown. “Is that any of your business?” you asked.

He flushed a little, rubbed the back of his head, and let out a few breathy laughs. “Sorry. Guess not,” he said with a sigh.

For a few moments the two of you just stood there, silent. You weren’t sure what to do next without an umbrella, and you didn’t want Jungkook to think you were just…spending time with him for fun. But still, you didn’t move or make a sound. Just watched the steadily increasing rainfall splatter against the pavement, gathering in pools beside the sidewalk.

“Listen,” he began, turning to you properly. You eyed him from below with raised brows. “I really don’t want any bad energy between us, okay? I know things were messy before, but we’re in college now. It’s been years, right?” Some of the tension between you broke, but it was quickly replaced by a new tension: your outrage.

You blinked at him, working your jaw. “Jungkook, you don’t get to tell me when I’m allowed to stop being hurt,” you said, shaking your head. “Seeing you is a little painful, even though it’s been a long time. So…maybe just ignore me.”

Jungkook sighed and gripped the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry, Y/N. You know I am.”

You shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t really want anything to do with you,” you said, meeting his eyes. Your own calm surprised you. He looked desperate, brows knit and lips parted. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to just leave me alone.”

He blinked a few times, eyes wide. “I…I mean, we go to the same school now and everything. I just transferred this year and it’s…I don’t really know many people. It’s not like we’re strangers, so why should we act like we are?”

You swallowed your anger. “I’m gonna go now,” you said, adjusting your bag on your shoulder and walking out into the rain. You turned to look at him. “I don’t think you get what I’m saying, so it’s not worth repeating it again in a different way. Just…leave me alone.”

But before you could take a single step toward the subway entrance three blocks away, Jungkook was beside you in the rain, fiddling with his umbrella. “Wh-what are you doing? I just said to leave me alone!” you called at him over the sound of the rain around you.

Jungkook spat rainwater out from between his lips and shook his head as the umbrella finally popped open and the rain stopped pummeling you, now ricocheting off the nylon. You stared up at Jungkook underneath the dark umbrella, confined beneath it, confined to this small, enclosed space. Your chest was nearly touching his arm and his breath was warm as it fanned across your face. Strawberries. Like his smoothie. Rain was caught in his long eyelashes and his rosy lips were still parted, cheeks a warm pink. He stared down at you and for a brief moment, you felt a hot, shooting sensation running from the top of your head to your toes.

“Let me walk you to the station at least,” he said, scanning you.

You felt a little faint, and the sweet scent of his cologne only made you more disoriented. “I’m fine. It’s only a few blocks,” you said, but even you could admit your voice sounded weak.

He sighed, eyes falling to the ground. “I know I hurt you a lot back then, but…,” he began, then shook his head. “Even if it’s small, I wanna make it up to you somehow. So…let me walk you.”

You rubbed your bare forearm and inhaled sharply, shutting your eyes for a moment. “Fine,” you forced out and the two of you began walking.

“So…,” said Jungkook after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. “How was your date the other day?”

You groaned. “What we’re not gonna do is this.”

Jungkook chuckled. “Sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “Just curious.”

You watched your hands, clasped in front of you, and sighed. “It didn’t happen,” you said. If nothing else, at least your time with Jungkook made you remarkably comfortable talking to him about your thoughts and feelings. “We cancelled.”

“Why?” he asked, brows high.

You shrugged. “After seeing you, I was kinda crabby so…”

“It was my fault?” He pointed with his free hand to his own chest, eyes wide.

“I mean, yeah but not really,” you said with an easy exhale. “It’s for the best anyway. He seems like a really nice guy. I don’t wanna end up hurting his feelings or something.”

“You’d rather be alone than risk having things end badly?” he asked.

You peered up at him. “Wonder why that is,” you mumbled before glancing away.

He sighed. “Sorry.”

“Mhm.”

The rest of the walk was silent as the two of you were forced to simply live with the words you’d exchanged, unable to do anything to alter the events that led you here. All you could do was walk forward, united under a shared umbrella for just a moment, until you ducked out from beneath it and disappeared down the subway station stairs, not even pausing for a moment to wave or say goodbye.

Blind Date: Yikes, did I really scare you off?

You raised your brows at your phone screen as the subway bumped along. It was too crowded to find a seat, so you stood cramped between a stout businessman and a high school girl, all of you holding the railing overhead for stability. You couldn’t help it, but again you smiled. After all the craziness that had come from the day, this stranger seemed to help you feel at ease.

You: Haha nope! It’d take more than that.

You: I bumped into someone I didn’t want to see, so I had to take care of that.

Blind Date: !!! Same person as before??

You: Yeah, if you can believe it lol.

Blind Date: (o_O)

Blind Date: How unlucky can a person be?

You: That’s what I’m saying. (￢_￢;)

You: That’s actually one of the things I was gonna complain to Sua about.

You: Y’know, teenage heartbreak and high school angst. Etc.

Blind Date: Hey, I said it before. I’d love to listen!

Blind Date: Aight, that was too enthusiastic. How about: I wouldn’t mind hearing you out!

You: Lol, good addendum.

You: I mean, it’s not like it’s really that serious. Just…in high school I was really shy. I didn’t have very many friends and I thought that I was fine on my own, you know?

You: But I guess I was lonelier than I thought haha. There was this really handsome guy in my class who started sitting with me on the roof at lunch. At first, neither of us really said anything. Just…sitting together.

You: But after a while, we got pretty close. Half a school year maybe. He said he came up there because the air was nice, but I had a feeling it had to do with the fact that he was a little too popular for his own good. Everyone wanted to talk to him. But he was like me.

You: Introverted, I mean.

Blind Date: Sounds like you two were good friends, then?

You: Yeah, until I caught feelings lol. Mistake.

Blind Date: You confessed??

You: Hehe…yes.

You: After a while being close, I felt really comfortable telling him anything. I told him it wasn’t like I was expecting him to date me or anything. I just wanted him to know so he could be a little more careful around me.

You: But it seemed like he reciprocated.

You: We started dating…I guess?

You: Never put a label on it, which was another mistake on my part for not asking.

You: But we did everything couples did, just…not really in front of anyone from school.

You: Never asked about that either lol.

Blind Date: Oh…

Blind Date: I mean…that doesn’t sound so good…

You: Haha, it’s probably exactly what it sounds like because once we’d been together for about a year, he ended things really suddenly. We were getting ready to apply for colleges and he was gonna go for one in a different city. He said it wouldn’t work out.

You: I fought really hard for it, but he started saying pretty mean things and I didn’t want to get hurt so I ended up conceding.

Blind Date: Mean things?

You: Things I don’t really wanna type out haha…

Blind Date: Shit! Sorry, sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.

You: Hey, don’t worry! Old wounds. I should probably get over it, really.

You: No time like the present!

You: He said he never really liked me and he was only with me because he felt bad for me. Didn’t really love hearing that.

You: He said because I didn’t have friends, he pitied me. That was why he went to the roof to eat with me. Why he kissed me and all that. Took me on dates. ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌ Pretty dumb, imo, but that’s what he said and it seemed like he meant it anyway lol.

Blind Date: Y/N…

You: Hey, you asked!

Blind Date: That’s really shitty. You didn’t deserve that.

Blind Date: You carried that around with you all these years?

You: Hah, admitting it sounds kinda pathetic, huh?

You: I guess it’s not the sort of thing you just…get over. I think I really loved him too, so…

You: Anyway, seeing him now is really weird. Never thought I’d see him around here again, but suddenly he’s everywhere haha. Definitely doesn’t feel great, tbh.

You: Ew, sorry for laying all that on you. Not exactly small talk.

Blind Date: No!! Don’t apologize. I’m glad you talked to me about it. Honestly…I feel really sorry for you. It sounds like the whole thing affected you a lot. :-(

Blind Date: If it makes you feel better, I think I can understand you a little!

Blind Date: Like I said, I’m a bit shy myself. It’s not an issue of having friends, but finding good ones. It’s hard for me to socialize without saying something dumb and regretting it. So for a while, when I first started college, I isolated myself a lot. I didn’t want to make any more mistakes, you know?

Blind Date: But recently, I’ve met some people who are really kind. People who don’t judge me when I mess things up (which is often haha). They help me communicate better.

You: You communicate really well, I think :-)

Blind Date: Haha, thank you. I’m actually blushing a little, whew. Uh, I guess it’s because it’s easier to type things out. Speaking is hard because you can’t just reword things before sending them. You say it out loud and it’s forever, you know?

You: Yeah! Jeez, that actually happened to me today (—_—)

You: I’m glad someone else understands it lol

Blind Date: Yeah, me too.

By the time you received the last message, you were already back inside your apartment, soaked from the walk home. You’d used your bag to cover your phone as you walked and typed, so now the thing was slumped against your dining chair like a sopping wet creature. But still, you smiled at your phone. Even though the conversation with Jungkook had been jarring, you’d almost forgotten it after chatting with your blind date. It felt oddly vulnerable to reveal so much to him, but his reaction had been really reassuring. You set your phone aside and padded to the bathroom to dry yourself a little with a towel, catching sight of yourself in the mirror. Your cheeks were a little flushed, eyes clear, and still smiling. You shook your head, trying to shake off your grin, but when you glanced back at your reflection it was still the same.

With the towel dangling across your shoulders, you returned to the living room and saw your phone lit up with another new text. Smiling, you unlocked it and read what he had to say.

Blind Date: Off topic, but uh…

Blind Date: Did you happen to catch the most recent episode of Game of Thrones?

Blind Date: Because I need to talk about it or I might explode.

You raised your brows and, without meaning to, you laughed. Was this okay? Was it alright to become close to someone like this again? Was it alright to be excited about someone again? You were fearful, cautious, hesitant. After everything with Jungkook, you’d found it impossible to trust people’s intentions. Were they being nice to you because they liked you or because they felt bad for you? Would you get hurt if you trusted the goodwill of the people around you?

You: Um…

You: CAN WE TALK ABOUT ARYA???

You weren’t going to talk to him again.

Well…that was your intention anyway. But by Friday, you’d spent every night up late chatting with this Nochu guy. It wasn’t like you talked about anything all that interesting or profound. Music you liked, games you played, anime you watched. You’d spent the better portion of Thursday night talking about whether Fullmetal Alchemist or Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood was superior. You weren’t sure why you were compelled to respond every time his name lit up your phone. And you really weren’t sure why you were the one reaching out to him now as you sat watching your professor detail the process of molecular movement across a cell membrane.

Perhaps you’d missed making easy conversation with someone you liked talking to…

After high school, you’d become something of a recluse. You spent more nights in than out and despite doing well in your classes, you’d found yourself…slightly lonesome. That’s why when Sua gave you her number after you’d successfully finished a project together a few months ago, you’d been quick to take it. Even though it was a little scary, some small part of you wanted to trust people again.

And maybe that’s why too. Why you were sending this stupid text in the middle of your lecture.

You: Hey dude. You free today?

Blind Date: Hm? Why?

You: Idk, Burger King or smth?

Blind Date: Hehe, are you trying to revive our dead romance?

You: O.O Our romance died already? After one failed date?

Blind Date: Hahaha I mean…you can try giving it CPR if you want…?

Blind Date: Mouth-to-mouth ;-D

You: Yuck, I take it back. Our romance is dead and buried.

You: Anyway, you free?

Blind Date: Uh yeah probs later. I’ve got class until 4.

Blind Date: Does that work for your Burger King plan?

Blind Date: I know it’s hard to get a reservation at that place on short notice >.<

You: I take it all back.

You: I have plans tonight, soz.

You: Talk to ya later, weeb.

You smiled and set your phone down beside your notebook, refocusing on your professor. But your attention was quickly assuaged by your phone vibrating once more. You smirked down at it and, covertly, read the slew of oncoming text messages with a chuckle.

Blind Date: !!! That’s rude !!!

Blind Date: You can’t just offer a Burger King date and snatch it out from under me like that.

Blind Date: I’ll be mad if you jerk me around >:-(

Blind Date: You see that face? I mean BUSINESS.

You: Calm down lol, I was kidding.

You: Let’s meet at the Burger King next to the ramen place near campus?

Blind Date: Hehe, sounds good :-P

Blind Date: Ah, but don’t be too surprised when you meet me, okay?

Blind Date: I don’t want you fainting when you see my handsome face 8-)

You: Mhm, I’ll be sure not to faint.

Blind Date: I mean…a little fainting is fine…

You: Haha shut up. I’ll see you there. Looking forward to putting a face to the texts!

Blind Date: Hopefully my face doesn’t disappoint lol.

You: Yikes, mine either.

Blind Date: Yours won’t.

Blind Date: Haha, I’m sure you’ll look great. That’s what I meant.

Blind Date: Ew, all of that was hard to read. Forget I said anything hhhhhh.

You smiled fondly at your phone before sliding it into your bag. “You look kinda smitten,” said Sua from beside you.

You jumped and glanced at her as the rest of the class began packing up. She was grinning at you like a co-conspirator, brows low, knowing grin on her face. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been texting someone named Blind Date during every class period for a week,” she said, cocking a brow. “I take it you guys hit it off?”

You felt yourself go warm. Not like with Jungkook the other day, but like something else. Something a little deeper than a physical reaction. Nonetheless, you cleared your throat and smiled at Sua. “He’s a good guy. I think we could be good friends.”

“Friends?” she asked with a laugh, flitting her hand as the two of you stood together. “Sounds boring. Get a smooch or two out of it or it’s a bust.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “I don’t really know if he’d be interested in me that way.”

“What about you?” she asked, eyeing you. “Would you be interested?”

You stared at her for a long moment, eyes wide, and opened and shut your mouth a few times. “I…,” you began, then glanced at your feet. You followed her out into the hallway where students hurried by in a flash beside you. “I mean…”

Sua paused her walking to stare back at you, her teasing grin replaced with a genuine one. “Wait, do you actually like him-like him?” she asked, eyes alight.

You stiffened, scratching your arm, and sighed. “Jeez, I don’t know! Maybe,” you said, waving your hands. “Forget it, I’ve got another class soon.”

She laughed as you maneuvered around her through the hall, calling after you. “You’re cute when you’ve got a crush!”

You sat at a booth by yourself at Burger King, waiting for your not-date to show up. It had only been a few minutes and already your anxiety was starting to speak in your ear. He’s not showing up, it whispered, You’re an idiot. And maybe you were. Looking around the fast food joint, you saw more than a few couples, sitting side-by-side or gazing at each other over fried chicken. You didn’t envy them. Not that way. Just…maybe it was the human connection you missed more than anything. Last time you’d been in this situation, you were still deeply in love with Jeon Jungkook.

You were sixteen and you sat twiddling your thumbs on a suburban bench overlooking Seoul. Trees swayed in the summer breeze and carried with them the scent of young hopefulness, naivety in the form of dogwood blossoms. You watched the uneven cityscape before you as it resisted the pull of the wind, and far in the distance, slightly glittering in the sunlight, the Han River. Jungkook had said he’d be there at exactly two. It was ten past, and you were getting a little nervous. You’d confessed not a week prior during the last week of school, and to your shock Jungkook had been receptive. He hadn’t said anything bold like ‘I like you too’ or ‘let’s date’ but he had invited you out for some ice cream and you figured that was much the same thing for him.

Maybe he’s just being nice, you thought to yourself with a sigh. You’d spent a long time picking out the right outfit, getting your hair to lay just right. And still, you didn’t feel quite up to par with him. Girls were always confessing their love for him. Guys too. What made you any different than the dozens of other hopefuls? He probably won’t come…

“Y/N!” called a voice from the winding, hilly street.

You jumped and turned, and your heart swelled as you saw Jungkook running down the sidewalk toward you, grinning from ear to ear. And that was what did you in. That sincerity, that vigor, that enthusiasm…all for you. You stood up to meet him and chuckled as he caught his breath, patting his chest.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, panting. “My mom started lecturing me, so I got tied up.” After a few moments regaining his composure, he finally looked at you properly and when he did, you noticed his cheeks going red hot, eyes round. “Oh, wow,” he said, glancing away with a jittery laugh. “S-Sorry, you…you look really nice.”

You felt a little faint. You’d spent months pining after this kid, pining after this purity you kept glimpsing in him, and now…

He was saying you looked nice.

It was almost enough to knock the breath out of you.

You smiled at your shoes and rubbed your neck. “Th-thank you,” you said.

He laughed, nervous once more, and gave your shoulder a shove. “Hey, don’t get all clammy on me, okay? Nothing’s weird between us. Just…two pals…on a date.”

You jumped and stared up at him with unbridled surprise. “Date?” you asked, shameless hope in your voice.

He laughed, eyes turning to crescents, and nodded. “What else would it be?” Of course. Of course, since it was Jungkook, the answer was just that simple, wasn’t it?

You swallowed hard and tried to manage your expression, but you couldn’t fight the smile teasing your lips. “Oh,” you said, letting out a breathy laugh.

He examined you for a moment, scanning you. You weren’t used to going out with friends, let alone dating. All of this was new and exhilarating to you. But you felt a sudden wave of shyness that you couldn’t fight off, and a slightly pleasant self-consciousness. You felt him looking at you, and it didn’t feel like he hated looking. You became very aware of your body, each limb, each finger. Still smiling a little, you laughed again, unsure of what else to do. These were uncharted waters, after all.

“Hm,” he said, bending down to meet your eyes. You blushed and leaned away a little, but he was blushing too and it made you feel better knowing perhaps he was just as nervous as you. “Lemme prove it.”

Your eyes went wide, but before you could say or do anything, Jungkook closed the distance between you, tipping his chin so that your lips met. His lips were warm and soft. They tasted like chapstick and banana milk. You didn’t move, not a single muscle, and perhaps this worried him because he was quick to lean away and stare down at you, fresh insecurity on display in his warm brown eyes.

“Sorry! Was that too sudden?” he asked, laughing and glancing away, down the quiet street. “Jeez, I got carried away, huh? Ha, I’m sorry.”

Before he could spiral, you took a timid step forward and pushed yourself onto your toes. Gently, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself nearer to him. He jumped and looked at you with stunned eyes. But you didn’t give him a chance to think too much, because before long you were kissing him, head tilted to the side, eyes shut. Without much pause, his hands found your waist and stayed there, respectful, unsure.

And somehow, you’d summoned the courage to do it. To kiss him back.

Because he showed up, after all.

He didn’t leave you alone…

Fifteen minutes now and you were beginning to worry. You reasoned that at least there were worse places to be stood up. A nice steakhouse, for instance. At least here you weren’t the only solo diner. But nonetheless, the feeling of a deep gut-punch was only growing. Dread and disappointment mingled into a bitter cocktail in the pit of your stomach. Wouldn’t this just be…poetic? Getting stood up for your first date after years of fear and emotional isolation?

Wouldn’t that be exactly what would happen?

Thirty minutes. At first, you tried to tell yourself he was probably just running late from a class. After all, the walk from campus alone was around seven minutes. Maybe he’d gotten released late. Maybe he’d gotten held up with a professor or classmate. You stared at your Whopper with dead eyes now, watching the cold burger as all the heat drained from it. It was too late to save it now. And perhaps it had never been meant for you to eat anyway. Maybe it was your destiny to become a vegetarian or something.

Nonetheless, you sent a text.

Even though it felt pathetic.

You: Hey, uh…we still on for Burger King?

You: No rush, haha.

You: Just a little worried…

Was this revenge for ruining the first date? Some elaborate plot to get back at you? He seemed like a really sweet guy, but so had Jungkook after all. After several minutes without a reply, you began to accept the fact that you’d been thoroughly stood up. Your throat constricted, eyes going a little hazy, and resolved to wait a little longer. Just a little.

Forty-eight minutes. No reply and no date. By then, plenty of customers had come and gone through the front doors, none of them him. You couldn’t bring yourself to take even one bite of food, the money wasted, the time wasted too. How much time had you wasted, really? How much of your life had you spent watering dead plants?

When Jungkook told you he wanted to break up, you’d been in disbelief. The two of you were close, so close it almost hurt, and the sudden end felt like a slap in the face or a jolt to the heart. You’d fought him in his room that night, the sunset turning the ends of his hair gold, turning his eyes gold too. He had no right being so handsome at a moment like that. You asked for a reason and he said he didn’t want any strings going in to college. He wanted to be unaffiliated. But you couldn’t accept that. You couldn’t accept that the time you spent together had meant so little to him, that the relationship was a dead plant from the start.

I was only dating you because I felt bad for you! he’d shouted once he’d had enough. Ever wonder why I never told anyone about us?! You’d been stunned then, stunned silent. Your brain was failing to process his words. He’d never spoken that way to you before. How much time had you spent in love? How much time had he spent pitying you? I was your only friend, for God’s sake! What did you expect me to do?!

Perhaps you’d been right after all. Perhaps giving yourself to other people was too dangerous, too painful. Perhaps loving someone wasn’t worth it, perhaps it could never be completely reciprocal. Perhaps any relationship you had would be a waste of time. Perhaps all you were destined to do was water dead plants until finally, you decided it was enough.

One hour. You stood up from your seat, wiped beneath your eyes as the tears you’d been fighting finally crested over your bottom eyelid, and carried your tray to the garbage. You slid your trash into the bin and, sniffling, wandered out toward the exit. Customers avoided walking too close to you, likely noticing the tears that were now tracking stubbornly down your cheeks. You would have wiped them, had you had the energy to care.

But all you wanted was to go home and be alone.

Alone for a while.

You pushed your way outside, taking in the fresh spring day. No more rain, even though you would have welcomed it. It could have concealed your crying, your red nose and swelling eyes. You could have cowered beneath a bus stop and nobody would have noticed you. Nobody would have noticed.

Instead, the spring day was gorgeous, teasingly beautiful. The sun was beginning to set on the horizon, and people milled about through the street, smiling and chatting easily. Sniffling, you wiped your nose and joined them, walking down the sidewalk toward the subway entrance near campus.

You were overreacting. You didn’t even know this guy that well yet. He wasn’t a boyfriend, he wasn’t someone you’d given your whole heart to. He hadn’t betrayed you, because deep down you’d expected this. Maybe that’s what upset you so much. Being proven right.

You exited the crowd of people a block from the Burger King and walked with your head down toward the subway entrance. You were about to step on to the escalator when you heard someone call your name.

“Y/N!”

You turned slowly, eyes bleary from all the crying, and rubbed your tears away to see them clearly. Again, like he had some sort of sense for when you were most humiliated, Jungkook stepped toward you. His face was contorted in worry, thick brows knit, mouth agape as he stared down at you, scanning you.

You sniffled and nodded. “What?” you asked.

“What are you doing?” he asked softly, taking you by the crook of the arm and leading you toward a more sparsely populated alley beside the sidewalk. You didn’t fight. Didn’t have it in you. “Are you okay?” he asked, his own eyes watery as he looked down at you, forcing your head up as he held it between two big, warm hands.

You kept your gaze on the dirty ground. “Let me go,” you said, but it was weak.

“Y/N…,” he whispered, smoothing his thumb against your cheek. “Jesus.”

“What?” you asked, looking at him quick, fierce. “Are you pitying me?”

His eyes went wide and he shook his head. Looking at him now, he seemed pretty shaken himself. Why did the two of you keep bumping into each other like this? “No! No, that’s not it.”

“Then what?” you asked, shaking his hands off your face. “What is it, huh? Here to show off your money? Show me how good you’re doing while I’m working minimum wage? Huh? Do you like feeling superior?”

He swallowed hard, his expression revealing some sort of hurt you couldn’t name. “No! Please, it’s not that! Let me explain-,”

“No! You don’t have any right to ask me to listen to you!” you said, sobbing. You wiped your eyes with your forearm and shook your head. “Just leave me alone! Everyone!” you shouted.

Jungkook took your shoulders in his hands to keep you still and you tried a few times to shake yourself free, but to no avail. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

You kept crying, the ancient pain welling up from inside you like some age-old reserve finally erupting. Your body rocked with the force of your tears. “Isn’t it pathetic? The minute I start trying to reach out, I get stood up?” you asked with a manic laugh. “Doesn’t that just make you feel so good? Aren’t I pitiable?”

Jungkook’s own tears were pooling in his eyes and you could see them there, threatening to fall. “Please,” he said quietly.

You shook your head. “Isn’t this what you want? Someone to look down on? Someone to feel bad for?” you asked, face wet from the tears. “Can’t you just leave me alone?!” you shouted, loud enough to rouse the attention of a few people on the sidewalk behind Jungkook’s back.

Jungkook, without another word, sniffled sharply and pulled you flush against his chest. You struggled against his strong hold for a few moments, writhing, before finally submitting. Without even meaning to, you wrapped your arms around his torso and sobbed into his black shirt. He held you close, resting his cheek on your head. You could have sworn you felt a few tears hitting your shoulder.

But before you could get too comfortable in his embrace, you pushed yourself away and stared at him, bitter, angry, from several feet away. You looked at him like a feral thing, like an alleycat. And the way he watched you was different than it was that day by the bench. It was worried now, like a shadow had crossed over his face.

“I’m sorry-,” he began.

You shook your head and shoved past him. “Don’t talk to me. Ever,” you spat as you walked by, rejoining the stream of people on the sidewalk toward the subway entrance.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” asked Sua as the two of you left class.

Half a week had passed, and you were eager for more time to distance you from that unpleasant day. You’d received a slew of texts from your blind date, all of which had gone unanswered. They ranged from the typical I’m so sorry texts to more in-depth explanations. Apparently, he’d gotten nervous. Cold feet, he’d said. Nervous for what, you didn't know and you wouldn’t ask. You were meeting at a Burger King for God’s sake. What could he have been that nervous about?

You glanced at her and offered a tight smile. “Mhm. I’m good. Just…uh…gotta get to work later so I’m thinking about that,” you said, over-explaining. Of course, lying just wasn’t for you.

Sua sighed and hooked an arm around your elbow, leaning close to you as the two of you walked down the hallway. You edged away just slightly, and it seemed she noticed as she turned to you with wide eyes. You hated to admit it, but everything with that Nochu guy had made you wary of even Sua. They did know each other after all. Had this been one big setup from the start? Were the two conspiring to hurt you?

You shook your head and patted her hand with a smile. Of course not. Of course that was crazy. But…something about this whole thing had you feeling crazy. “Sorry,” you said quietly. “Just…met up with someone from my past the other day and it didn’t feel so good.”

She raised her brows. “What? You never mentioned anyone like that before…,” she said, her brows lowering. She looked a little hurt.

You swallowed hard. “Ah, well it’s no big deal,” you said, flitting a hand with a choppy laugh. “It’s in the past for a reason.”

She pouted. “You know you can talk to me, right?” she said, eyeing you.

And with those words, your chest constricted a little and a small pang of guilt clenched your stomach. You didn’t want to end up hurting her. She was sweet and she wanted to be close to you. But what could you do if you just weren’t ready for that? How could you tell her you may never be ready?

Instead, you turned to her and offered a smile. “I know.”

Blind Date: Y/N…

Blind Date: Please respond. Please.

Blind Date: I really really want to explain everything to you.

Blind Date: I know I really hurt you, but I want to explain.

Blind Date: Isn’t that selfish of me?

Blind Date: To hurt you and then ask you to listen to me?

Blind Date: I’m sorry.

Blind Date: I’m selfish.

You sighed as you watched your phone. The coffeeshop was quiet, fewer patrons now that the design students had finished their projects, and you felt safer looking at the onslaught of texts that just wouldn’t stop flooding your phone. You know you can talk to me, right? That’s what Sua said. She had reached out her hand to you.

And you’d pulled back.

You eyed your phone for a long few moments. Wasn’t it time to stop running away because you were scared of being hurt? Wasn’t it time to stop expecting someone to walk all the way across the tightrope to you and start walking to meet them in the middle instead?

Wasn’t it wrong to punish people for something someone else did?

You: Hey…

You: Sorry I haven’t responded. I just needed space I think.

Blind Date: Shit, I know. I’m so sorry.

Blind Date: You know I care about you though, right?

Blind Date: You know I wasn’t trying to hurt you on purpose, right?

You: I mean, we’ve only known each other a few weeks haha.

You: Honestly, I probably overreacted.

You: After everything that happened with that guy I told you about, I think I’m just a little too sensitive. And I took it out on you. And that was wrong.

Blind Date: No, no! Please don’t apologize. Jesus. It’s entirely my fault. All of it.

You: Haha it’s really not. I shouldn’t hold you and him to the same standards when you’re different people. That’s on me.

Blind Date: Can I see you?

You: Huh? So suddenly? I’m working…

Blind Date: The coffeeshop on campus?

You: Yeah…

You: Don’t come right now though!

You: I won’t be able to talk to you anyway.

Blind Date: I’ll wait. When do you get off?

You: Nine…

Blind Date: I’ll see you at nine.

You blushed, staring down at your screen. Since when was he so direct like this? And why did it make your heart race, just a little?

Sua was right. You definitely had a crush…

You watched the front doors as you began cleaning up the coffeeshop. Closing time was coming soon, and with five minutes until nine you were beginning to feel that festering fear that you’d be stood up again. But as that voice returned to your mind, you were quick to quiet it. You wanted to believe in people again. You couldn’t live your life all alone.

So you swept beneath tables and propped chairs atop them. You cleaned the windows. You hummed a pop song to yourself, trying to keep your mind busy. When you glanced outside, you noticed the spring showers had returned and the rain was falling in bullets from the dark sky. With a sigh, you settled down on one of the recliners by the window, watching cars and buses and people speed by. You wondered which one would come inside despite the sign now reading ‘closed’. You wondered who this person was.

Before you realized it, you were dozing off, struggling to keep your eyes open as you reclined against the comfortable cushions. Your breathing became more rhythmic, deeper in your chest with each inhale, and you snuggled into the back of the recliner with a heavy sigh.

And that’s when you heard it. The distinctive ting of the bell dangling over the front door. Your eyes opened wide and you saw his reflection in the mirror beside you. Tall, dressed in dark clothes, hoodie up over his head and an umbrella in his hand, trailing droplets of rainwater onto the wood floor. You wanted to greet him right away, to get a proper look at him, but with your heart racing the way it was you couldn’t find the courage. It was enough for you just to respond to his texts. And now he was here, corporeal, right behind you.

You shut your eyes tight and feigned sleep.

“Y/N?” he called, and somehow you recognized his voice.

No way.

It couldn’t be…

You kept your eyes shut and curled your knees closer to your chest. Slowly, you heard him mill around the shop before pausing beside your recliner. His footsteps got closer, rounding the side of the chair to stand right in front of you. And, quietly, he laughed. And you were certain now. You knew exactly who he was.

You felt a warm, big hand press against the side of your head, smoothing your hair down, and heard a fond sigh. “Jeez,” he mumbled. You felt him crouch down beside your feet and his arm dropped to rest on the arm of the recliner. He gently rocked the chair back and forth for a moment, humming. “Don’t hate me too much, okay?” he asked in a whisper.

And, without another moment’s hesitation, you opened your eyes and stared right down at him. “Jungkook…?” you asked, scanning his face.

His eyes were round with shock and his whole person was wet. He gazed up at you from where he crouched on the floor and, mouth agape, said nothing. Wordlessly, you reached a hand out and touched his cheek with the pad of your index finger. Soaking wet. You sighed and pushed to your feet. Jungkook stumbled a little to accommodate you as you slipped past him to the counter. You rifled through the cabinets before producing a towel. By then, he’d followed you to the counter and was waiting on the other side. Sighing, you waved a hand, signaling for him to join you behind the register. He jumped and followed your silent command, and suddenly you were staring at his broad chest up close.

You swallowed your nerves and draped the towel atop his head. “Dry off,” you said, hopping up to sit on the counter. The lights in the shop were low, and the music still bumped lowly through the stereo. It might have been romantic, if it was anyone else. “Then we can talk.”

He nodded and fluffed the towel through his hair, obscuring his face from view for a few peaceful seconds. “I…I know I have a lot to explain.”

“Yeah,” you said.

He peeked out from behind the towel with one eye, watching you. “Are you mad?”

“Fuming, actually.”

He nodded and let the towel drop to his shoulders. “I expected that,” he said with a sigh. He came to stand in front of your knees, looking right at you with enough sincerity to knock the breath from your lungs. Just like that first date. “I don’t know where to start.”

“So you know Sua?” you asked, letting your heels bounce against the counter’s cabinets.

“Ah, uh, yeah,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “We’re in the same major, so…”

“And you transferred here?”

“Yeah,” he said, meeting your eyes. “It was…no good out in Busan. I missed home too much.”

You nodded, watching your thighs on the counter. “Figures.”

He chuckled wryly. “You know me too well.”

“Thought I did.”

Carefully, he took a single step forward and you jumped, meeting his eyes like a frightened prey. “I never meant for you to carry all that with you for so long,” he said, brows knit and eyes hazy like he may cry. “I didn’t expect you to be so hurt.”

“That’s stupid,” you said. “You can’t tell someone you were only with them out of pity and expect them not to be hurt.”

“I know, I just…Jesus, I’m just stupid,” he said, raking his fingers through his hair. “Since I was moving away, I didn’t want you to waste your time waiting for me to come back, so I wanted to give you a clean break. Since I knew you wouldn’t wanna break up just because of distance.”

You stiffened. “You…what?”

“I didn’t mean it,” he said. “Any of it.”

You felt like you’d been hit right in the diaphragm, like when you play dodgeball and someone throws a ball at your chest. You sat up straighter and stared at him, watching him carefully. “You lied?”

He nodded. “Yeah,” he said, meeting your eyes seriously. It really looked like he might have cried. “I didn’t think it was fair to keep you from meeting new people and making new connections.”

“Then why didn’t you tell anyone we were dating?” you asked, brow low, scanning him for any signs of insincerity.

His eyes went wide. “I…I told you before, my high school friends…they weren’t so great,” he said, shaking his head. “I meant it when I was texting you about all that. How t’s hard for me to find good people.”

“And you didn’t show up to Burger King last time because…?”

He sniffled. “I meant what I said about that too. I was…really nervous. I was scared you’d be disappointed when you found out it was me.”

You sighed. “Why weren’t you just honest with me from the start?” you asked, all animosity draining from your voice as you saw him wiping his red, swelling eyes. “Back in high school. Why didn’t you just tell me all of it then?”

He sniffed and looked away. “I was scared you’d think less of me if you knew I was so insecure. And I didn’t want you to wait for me in college, not when you could’ve been out making new friends.”

“Well, the opposite happened actually,” you said with a dry laugh. “I got really worried that any friends I made would be doing it out of pity.”

Jungkook stiffened. “You…you did?”

You nodded. “Yeah…”

“Shit,” he breathed out, gripping his forehead with two hands. “I’m so stupid!”

Distantly, the sound of the rain picked up outside. You nodded. “Yeah.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, looking at you once more, startling you with his sincerity. “I messed up so bad. I messed up everything.”

You blinked at him, standing nearly at eye-level, and slowly reached out to wipe beneath his eyes with your fingertips. “Well, you were right about one thing. I wouldn’t have accepted it had you not said what you said.”

He furrowed his brow and leaned into your touch. “I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you,” you said.

He swallowed hard and you watched his Adam’s apple bob. “Really?”

“Well, yeah,” you said with a shrug. “Now that I know everything, it’s hard to be mad at you for being a jerk when you were really just being an idiot.”

He stared at you, inching forward so he rested just between your knees. “I’m so sorry,” he said again.

“Yeah, I know,” you said, letting out half a chuckle as you let your hands drop to his shoulders, giving them a pat.

“Really,” he said, nodding once as he stared right into your eyes.

“Jungkook, it’s-,”

Before you could finish, he had closed the distance between you, one hand grasping your jaw as he pressed a kiss to your lips. You jumped back, eyes wide, and stared at him in shock. He too looked shocked, like he hadn’t meant to do it at all. He shook his head, eyebrows knit, stuttering out syllables that didn’t add up to anything.

“I-I-you-I mean-,” he sputtered, irises shaking. You noticed no small margin of fear in his eyes, like he was terrified he’d messed things up again.

I didn’t want to make any more mistakes, you know?

The words he’d trusted you with through the screen, his sincere thoughts. He really regretted it a lot, didn’t he? Your expression softened as he continued struggling to find words, and, without even really meaning to, you wrapped your fingers around his neck. He didn’t seem to notice, or he was too spooked to comment on it, but you slowly pulled him closer. Just like that day in high school, just like it was when you’d first entered hopefully into this fateful relationship, you leaned in and pressed your lips against his, shutting your eyes. Stunned, he was completely still for a moment before eventually his hands moved to your hips, then slid along your sides, then hooked around your lower back. You hadn’t intended it, but the kiss was getting steamier with each passing moment. You felt his hot breath on your skin as he pulled back to adjust his position before crashing into you again.

As the fever settled down, Jungkook was the first to pull away, but only by a faction so he could speak. “I love you,” he whispered.

You stared wide-eyed at him, only inches away from you, eyes heavy-lidded and forehead resting just barely against yours. “O-Okay,” you said. It was all you could manage.

He chuckled once, still embracing you as he stood between your legs. “That’s it?”

“You expect me to say it back?” you asked.

He smiled, staring down at you. “I guess not.”

“You’re gonna have to give me some time,” you said with a nod.

He nodded too, shutting his eyes as he held you close. Slowly, he moved to rest his forehead against your shoulder, resting against the crook of your neck. “I understand.”

“Like…a lot of time probably.”

“I know.”

You let out a shaky exhale and only then did you realize your hands were shaking. As silly as it seemed, this reunion was pretty jarring to your system. The foundation on which you’d rebuilt your sense of self had broken down beneath your feet, leaving you to stand among the rubble once again. Just like back then. Everything you thought you understood had been proven wrong.

But nonetheless, you smoothed your palms against his back and rubbed gently. Not to comfort him, but to comfort yourself. To let yourself know that, even though it was scary, it was okay to trust people sometimes. Self preservation shouldn’t come at the sacrifice of human connection. And even though you knew the road ahead was going to be long and that trusting Jungkook again would take a long time and a lot of work on his end, you were ready to try.

So, as the two of you left the shop under one umbrella, you drafted a text.

You: Sua, I have SO MUCH to tell you.

#jungkook one shot #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #bts request #bts reader insert #bts imagines #bts reactions #bts fluff #bts angst #bts series #bts scenarios #jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook imagines #jungkook reactions #jungkook request

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jbbuckybarnes · 5 years ago

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Stranded in Manhattan

Description: You are stranded inside of the building your publishing agency is housed in. A snowstorm hit New York without warnings and you can’t leave for a few hours. What sounds like a boring afternoon ends up being quite the ride. Prompt: Stranded somewhere due to inclement weather (Seb x Reader) Length: 2,6k+ Warnings: Reader is written as someone with a skin tone that makes blushing visible. Just shoot me an ask if you want me to write something specific with a WoC reader. Always open for that.

M A S T E R L I S T

You had just finished your meeting for the next magazine. Writing articles for a lifestyle magazine was your favorite part of being a freelance writer. Well, not completely freelance. You were kind of part of the main team but not with a permanent contract. A look outside of the window had you roll your eyes and grumble. “You shouldn’t go outside for the next 2-3 hours. There is a warning out.” a female colleague outside of the meeting room looked at you. “Great. I’m just gonna draft my article in the foyer then,” you muttered before saying goodbye with a few kind words.

In the lobby of the building, there already were a lot of people waiting for the storm to calm down. There was only one couch left that wasn’t already occupied by at least one person and you let yourself fall onto the soft furniture with a small sigh. Laptop opened, the document opened and there you went writing the magazine article for next week already. At least you had WiFi in here and could research for your draft. Every ten minutes one or two new people came down in the elevator and sat down beside someone else. After an hour there were only 5 seats left in the entire lobby and you would probably be one of the next ones.

“Excuse me? Could I sit here?” you heard an oddly familiar voice and looked up. “Sure.” you smiled and pushed your bag to the side. There was a long moment of silence and you staring at your screen before you finally said something. “What were you here for?” you asked with a little smile and got one back. “My acting agency is here. Meeting.” he shrugged, “You?” “Publisher meeting with the magazine I write for,” you answered. “Sebastian.” he held out his hand. “I know. Y/N.” you smiled back at him. Contrary to your belief he didn’t change much after you told him you knew him. “Which magazine do you write for?” he asked curiously. “Flow magazine. Lifestyle, personal development, mindfulness. That kinda thing.” you blushed a little. It always made you nervous to talk about your job with people that weren’t writers. His natural cuteness didn’t help. “That’s cool. And what are you currently writing about?” he looked at your hands on the laptop that was half-closed. “Mindful Dating. It’s pretty weird to research and hard to not make it sound hippie.” you opened the laptop again to show that you had written half a page for your 2-3 page spread on the topic. “I assume it starts with mindfully picking the right person to ask out.” he chuckled and picked his water bottle from his backpack. “Actually starts with finding out what you even want and where to find it but that’s definitely a part of it.” you smiled a bit awkwardly. “This sounds so cool compared to my few pages of script that I currently have to get into.” he sent a shy smile back. “Does it become less fun to get into a character when you do it longer and professionally?” you ask to steer the conversation away from you. “Sometimes. Especially when I don’t have a lot of backstory for my character to get into.” he shrugged his shoulders. “I always loved doing plays in high school.” you looked away in thought about your high school years. “What did you have?” his head dipped to the side a little in curiosity. “Romeo & Juliette, Beauty & the Beast, some play local college students wrote and the last one was...Cinderella.” you counted them. “Any big roles?” he smiled with shimmering eyes. “I had the main role in the college student one.” you giggled. It was a really dumb play and your memories of it are really chaotic. “God, I’d love to see videos of that. You definitely seem like you could pull off a lot of different characters. I mean, the appearance.” he got a bit unsure at the end if he worded it right. You couldn’t help but giggle a little, “Yeah, could pull that black wig off better nowadays tho.” “Um, what plans did that blizzard ruin for you? Never asked,” he said with a one-sided smile while scratching his neck. “Not much. Wanted to go write in the library or meet a friend but that clearly won’t happen,” you shook your head looking outside of the window before your head went back to him, “You?” He played with the strings on his hoodie, “Technically the rest of my day was finally a free day. So only ruined my Netflix marathon.” He saw you smile when he looked up from the strings again, “Well, I have WiFi and this building probably has a more chill area. We technically COULD watch Netflix.” Another unsure smirk from him with an almost apologizing smile coming back from you made the short silence weirder than it needed to be. “Sure.” he shrugged. If somebody would’ve told you, that you would be in an empty meeting room with one of your Top 20 favorite actors, watching Netflix because you were snowed in, you would’ve flipped them off. You were both sitting on the table beside each other and had spread out the food and water you had with you. Weird circumstances called for weirder actions in response. The Netflix logo popped up, then your name with a Jessica Jones icon staring at you and after that the list of movies on your big list. “What do you wanna watch?” you looked up at him and he was already looking at you. “You can choose whatever you want. It’s your account.” he held his hands up. “Brooklyn 99 it is.” you nodded and clicked on the next episode you needed to watch. You were a few episodes in when you just needed to let go of the thought, that you had held prisoner in your head for two episodes. “You're the perfect mixture between Jake & Boyle,” you mumbled. “Definitely more Jake,” he mumbled back, his eyes darting to look at the smile that had formed on your lips. You didn’t notice. And then Jake came in with his legendary guitar scene full of screaming. “Jep, definitely more Jake.” you laughed. He lightly nudged you with a small laugh. You weren’t wrong. Another 2 episodes went by and you checked your phone for the time. It’s been 2 hours now. Maybe you could go soon. “Another one?” he asked with a big smile on his face. “Of course.” you put your phone away and jumped over the outro to the next episode.

“It’s been over two hours. Let me check the warnings in Manhattan.” you took your phone after another two episodes and stopped the show with the other hand. Your weather app was showing an orange warning instead of a red one. “Well, orange should be enough to get home, right?” you looked up at him. “Depends where you live.” he smiled one of those half smirk, half innocent smiles. “Queens,” you muttered. “That’s quite a long ride in that weather.” his right brow went up. “I definitely don’t wanna stay in this uncomfortable and way too air-conditioned building,” you said neutrally. “I live 4 blocks away and there is a café on the ground floor we could stay in.” now the smirk turned into a real smirk. “Are you flirting with me?” you raised your eyebrow. “Been trying for almost three hours. Thanks for noticing.” he laughed lightly and saw you get a little flustered. “Umm.” with a shy expression on your face you put the laptop into your bag. “Don’t leave me hanging here after I asked you for a date.” he pouted playfully. You opened your mouth at the mention of a date but closed it again after no sentence your brain formed came out. “Sure,” you said with the biggest blush on your face after a few seconds. With a smile on his face and you biting your lip you both stood up and slowly left the building through the lobby that was much emptier now. An arm found its way around you, making you flinch a little. “Did you always live in New York?” his voice was harder to hear with the big jacket on. “No, moved here from Y/C.” you answered and got a soft smile in response while you held the hood of your jacket to stay on in the wind. “God, I hate this weather.” you stomped in the snow on the sidewalk like a child having a tantrum. “You kinda look like you enjoy it though.” he laughed at your attempt at kicking the snow. “I love winter. I hate that it gets so ugly and depressing so fast. I’m just here for the snow.” you pointed your tongue at him. If he had voiced his feelings at that moment, he would’ve probably told you that he wanted to pick you up and carry you the rest of the way for you to stop complaining about the wind. “Do that again and you have that snow flying at you,” he said trying to pinch you. “Don’t you DARE!” you played into it. “Watch me do it.” he smiled picking up snow and you started running. “He’s fast, strong, had snowballs.” you quoted laughing and a snowball hit your back. “The Winter Soldier is coming for you.” he made himself bigger but had a snowball landing on his chest after a few seconds. You looked at him innocently and he blinked before running for you and catching you with a growl that made you squeak. “Help!” you said giggling at this absolute dork moment you just had. “Target acquired. Bringing it to drop off location,” he said near your ear and started giggling like an idiot with you. The bell of the café door had the waiter in the almost empty room look up at the both of you. “Hello, Sebastian.” the man smiled at the tall brunette beside you. “Hey, can you make us two hot chocolates and two pieces of the chocolate cake, please?” came back at the waiter. Having someone help you out with getting out of a jacket felt weird. You weren’t used to gestures like that anymore and mumbled a small “Thank you.” You sat down on one of the tables and he leaned forward with a, “I won.” “There never was a competition, Stan,” you said putting down your bag.

“Didn’t mean the snowball fight.” he winked and watched you blush. Before you could say anything mugs and plates were set down in front of you. “Tell me about yourself.” he gave you an encouraging smile and you started talking. About your creative roots, what else you wanted to become when you were younger and how you felt about the things you did now. Some sentences had a vague political orientation in it and your stances on social issues. “Sorry, I’m talking a lot.” you noticed yourself rambling and looked down at the half-eaten cake. “No, I like listening to you.” he picked up the mug. “I’d like to know more about you too.” you smiled with some confidence from what he just said. He started talking about what he was currently doing, his mother, a bit about his roots and what his future plans were. He was good at this whole talking on a date thing. “You like astronomy?” he asked out of the blue with his fork pointing at you. “Yeah.” you grinned. “What’s the coolest thing about it?” he asked. “Nebulas. And I recently learned about hot Jupiters. Super interesting.” you mentioned the article you recently found while researching for a personal project. “A woman of class, I see.” he chuckled before taking his last bite of the chocolate cake. “No, a woman of space,” you smirked and got warm laughter back. You checked the phone again. The warning was on red again and a look outside of the window checked out with it. He noticed your look outside, “You can stay at my apartment. If you...want.” he said a bit unsure himself. “Uuuh.” you didn’t really know how to answer this. “Not in a weird way.” he distanced himself a bit from the table into his seat. “I guess I wouldn’t have another choice, even if I wanted to say no.” your soft expression had him visibly relax. You stood up, he gave the waiter on the counter the money and then you both made your way to a pair of elevators. “This feels mildly awkward.” you spoke out what both of you felt. “Doesn’t have to.” he smiled, snapping out of it. The moment the elevator opened you snapped out of it too. You knew there wasn’t anything to be afraid of. Yes, this was weird because you just met him but the circumstances were not in your hand. He was respectful, and if he wasn’t you knew how to kick his ass. Everything was fine. Even with both of you not talking in the elevator there was still a comfortable silence. That was until fingers started searching for yours and capturing your hand in a gentle manner. It’s not that you didn’t want this but it was very unusual and sudden. Like everything else today. Sure, you didn’t mind holding hands with pretty much anyone you knew but this wasn’t just anybody. This was someone you just had a proper date with and that kinda had your brain go in circles. “Relax, I’m not trying to get you into my bed.” he gently nudged you and locked down at you with a soft smile. “Sorry, I’m just not used to this...normality.” you tried to find a word for it, immediately shaking your head a little at choosing this particular word for it. “Welcome. Make yourself comfortable.” he said while you walked past him holding the door open. “Nice couch.” you pointed at it. It was one of those expensive, big, soft ones that everybody secretly wanted. You let yourself fall on it. He let himself fall next to you after throwing his jacket and yours over a chair. “Almost too conveniently placed.” you squinted at him beside you. “Hey! Don’t judge!” he laughed. “Too late. I judged.” you giggled before noticing his stare. “What?” your brow went up. “Nothing.” his eyes went away from your eyes and lips and looked at the ceiling again. “What are we going to do the rest of the evening now?” you asked. “More Netflix?” he returned a question. “Fine. But I only accept documentaries.” you grinned. Of course, the documentary he put on was about space and you both just absorbed the information you got. You didn’t even notice the arm around you after a while or the gentle pull towards him that had you cuddled up by the end of the documentary. “You’re a sneaky little asshole.” you said sleepy. “Only with pretty women.” his hand went through your hair. You looked up at him “Thank you for making this day much less boring.” you smiled and caught him staring again. “Can I kiss you?” he whispered so close to your face, his hand going from your hair to your jaw. With rosy cheeks, you nodded and had soft lips on yours a moment later. A normal thing to happen after a date but you still weren’t used to it. The thumb going over your cheek got you out of the overthinking again. Right now, all you wanted to concentrate on was those soft lips and that slightly scratchy skin. The hand cupping your face, the arm pulling you closer and the tongue brushing against your lower lip. Everything is perfect right now, no need to overthink it.

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silwenworld · 4 years ago

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Until The Last Petal Falls (Part 2 in the War Roses Series)

Summary: He could see the flowers floating before his eyes. A Bouquet. A single flower. Every time in different configuration but one thing was constant - the petals were falling away. Each time there were fewer and fewer petals attached to the stalk. And each time that happened, he could feel himself slipping further and further away.

Or: Captain Gold has a son to find and woman to come back to, and nothing short of dying will keep him from doing just that.

A continuation of the Rumbelle Showdown 2020 fic “The Dried Rose”

Category: M

CHAPTER 7 [AO3] [First Chapter]

Storybrooke was a small town with most of its residents being born and raised there as their parents and grandparents had been before them. Although it hadn't changed much throughout the years, the town itself wasn't spared from the dreads of wars that overtook Europe in the span of the last thirty years. Shortage in supplies had been one of the many consequences, but it wasn't so cumbersome as it could have been considering the close community of the townsfolk. Nevertheless, when the soldiers had come to town, everybody looked at them in distrust. It wouldn't have been as much of a problem if not for the fact that they had drafted some of the younger men, thus leaving the people even more biased towards the newcomers.

Leroy hadn't been the only one who had remembered all too well the horrors of the first War, so when the soldiers came to stay, he had been the first to be all overly cautious of them. He had never talked about any of his worries, preferring a bottle of cheap alcohol to any nagging Martha Lucas could cause him - Wilfred's wife had always been good at that, he would give her that. Still, he had never felt comfortable around that woman. Wolf would probably slap him for even thinking badly about his wife and call him an idiot, but Leroy had never particularly cared about his friend's antics. He had been one weird man, albeit a good friend and every week since his death Leroy was drinking one glass of Scotch at the man's grave in honour of that friendship.

Well, the point was, Leroy hadn't trusted the soldiers that had came with the second War with the pretext of training exercises. Within two weeks, he had been quite confident most of those lads wouldn't be seeing the next day when sent to the battlefield. But they had improved, at least most of them. Those training exercises had been how he had met captain Gold or more accurately seen him. The man had been different from the others. It had been clear to anyone looking that he had preferred to spend most of his time alone. Leroy could respect that, but it had been weird, seeing some other officers scoff at the man, and him doing almost nothing. It hadn't seemed to bother him at all as he had carried out his duties. Leroy was quite sure that there had been no malice behind Gold's clipped answers and the way he had been interacting with others, but his almost cold demeanour had been the reason that almost no one had been missing him when the boys had been called to arms. At least that's how it would have been if then the kiss between the Captain and Belle French hadn't happened and the whole town hadn't been turned around on its axis.

And then when Gold had come back, even though he had been supposed to be dead, Leroy hadn't been surprised - men like Gold were determined to say the least, and the whole story that Gaston had presented had been scrappy at best, Leroy hadn't spent his time around Wolf to not to recognize those things. The man who had come back, though, had been different from the one who had set off.

Even now it was down to the details, but when looked close enough, one could see the contrast. The Captain was good at hiding it in public, a skill that spoke of an experience in the matter, and almost everyone could be fooled into believing that the War had left no mark on Gold. Leroy often wondered if it had something to do with the way the other officers had been looking down at the Scot or had he mastered that skill even earlier on.

Well, it wasn't any of his business, and frankly, Leroy didn't want to know. But watched on he did. And through those months after the Captain's return, he had spotted another curious thing - Gary Gaston had been avoiding the man like the plague. He had never approached nor spoken to him, but Leroy could swear there had been something chilling in the young man's eyes when he was looking, no - glaring at the older man.

Curious.

And Unsettling.

The phrase nervous as a schoolboy was very accurate to his current state. One could have thought that he was 43 years old, for God's sake, not a sweating teenager, but that's how Gold felt right now. Not like a soldier - or at least an ex one - who had killed, lost men under his command and dragged himself almost literally from hell, but like a kid so apprehensive that tying the knot of his only tie was nearly an impossible task.

What on Earth had persuaded him that it was a good idea?

Gold sighed frustrated and let his hands fell to his sides in resignation, leaving the tie unmade. The answer was quite simple, really - it was Belle.

"I don't think, that's such a good idea, sweetheart."

"He won't bite you or anything you know? He's my dad, not a hound from hell."

"Sometimes I have doubts..." he murmured under his nose.

"What was that?"

"That I don't like crowds?" He answered lamely, which earned him a playful hit to the shoulder. Gold chuckled, rubbing the spot. "Sorry."

“Remind my, why do I keep spending my time with you?"

"You insist that it's love, but why is beyond me."

Belle bent down and kissed the end of his nose, smiling. "Yes, if it's not love I don't know what else it could have been."

So yeah, he had agreed to come to dinner at Belle's house, thus meeting her father properly for the first time. Come to think of it, it was quite an achievement, considering he had been back for months. Not that he had been talkative in the first place - Gold had traded maybe three sentences with the man before being shipped to the front, and now he was about to seat at the same table and manage a proper conversation. He had never been good at that, despised it even, and had wanted so badly to refuse, but the look on Belle's face had stopped him.

This dinner, for whatever reason, was important to her, she wanted him in her house and meeting her father. It was a step forward in their relationship that he was so afraid to take because, after that, there was only one step left. One he was dreading the most and couldn't push himself to make, at least not yet.

Grimacing, Gold grabbed his cane and limped towards the bed to sit heavily on the unmade bedding, his head dropping to his chest. Resigned, he pulled at the end of the tie, not looking as it hung limply in his hand, almost touching the ground. How easier it would have been to just stay in his room, but right after thinking it, he knew he couldn't do it. He had already missed the Chrismas dinner as a nasty case of pneumonia had decided it had been the best time to make him cough out his lungs. He still felt guilty about it as Belle had decided to spent almost all her free time with him then, putting cooling compresses on his fevered forehead when she should have been with her father instead.

To add to that, Gold wasn't blind nor stupid. Belle might have been smiling and telling him he just needed time and would be standing next to him through all of this, but he watched her when she thought he wasn't. She looked tired, to say the least, and he had caught her whipping her eyes more than once. Gold had tried to bring the subject subtly with Ruby Lucas but still couldn't find the right words how to do it. He was sure Belle was speaking with her friend, he really hoped she did, but Roy also knew that he was the reason behind her worries and confronting that fact was scaring him. He didn't want to be a burden, despised the fact that he was, but she kept on insisting on being there for him with every step, and no matter how much Gold hated it, he was glad that she did. Roy didn't want to think where he would have been if not for her.

But it was taking the toll on Belle and the least he could do was to go for a dinner with her father present at the table.

When younger, he had wanted to be a part of a bigger family as his own was lacking in every aspect, but had never gotten the opportunity to meet Millah's parents. It had never occurred to him at that time that maybe Millah's reluctance had been one of the early warning signs. She hadn't invited them to the wedding nor Bae's christening. His ex-wife it seemed hadn't been good at maintaining emotional bonds, and he, on the other hand, had been young and too eager to form them. It had been a miracle they had lasted together for as long as they had. Baylen had probably been the only thing keeping them together, but even that hadn't been enough in the end.

Baylen.

Was he even alive at this point? He would have been eighteen by now, or more accurately, almost nineteen with his birthday coming in March, and the military could have been all too eager and drafted him by the end of the War... Gold hated the fact of how young the boys under his command had been, how young they had died... Could he even hope...?

Roy ran his hand through his hair, letting out a shaky breath. He needed to pull himself together. He had to. For Belle. And his boy.

Please, be alive.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"You'll do fine, papa."

"You know, I can maybe go to the shop? And you can spend some time toge- "

"We're spending most of our free time together. You know it's not about that."

"Right."

Moe had spent the week before Christmas almost going bald from the nervousness about sitting at the same table with Gold. He had scolded himself all that time and had almost been ready to face the Captain when the message about the man's sickness had come. Maurice had known he should have felt bad about the other man, but it hadn't been easy to hide the relief that had washed over him. Before he had known it, he had been nodding all too vigorously as Belle had told him the news, saying she would be checking on Gold. He had known the meeting sooner or later had to take place, but to say he didn't look forward to this was underestimate. In the months after the Captain's return, Moe had learned to accept the fact that his daughter did love the man and that it hadn't been some fleeting feeling. He didn't have to like him, though. Moe had one opinion about the soldiers, and it wasn't a nice one.

"You'll do fine, papa. You'll see that you'll find something to talk about."

Well, it was inevitable. Moe sighed and cut the stems of the red roses that he freshly arranged into a bouquet then glanced at his daughter leaning against the counter.

"Alright. You can invite the Captain over to the dinner if he's willing."

"He has a name, you know."

Moe just muttered approvingly, focusing more on putting the roses into a vase. They would do nicely for the new years event; the mayor would be peased.

He didn't see Gary Gaston slipping to the back of the shop with a grave expression.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

Easy.

Yet not so in the slightest.

Wrapped in the thick woollen coat - a Christmas present from Belle which cost he really didn't want to spend to much time focusing on - Gold watched the mist that left his mouth. Despite the cold, the hand that held the cane was sticky with sweat. He had been standing like that for what felt like hours, but probably were mere minutes wondering if he should knock or not.

He had almost done so when an unwanted realization had stopped him. He had never been to Belle's house before. Yes, he had stood on the next side of the road many times, but had never set a foot over the porch.

It was a lovely house, painted a soft yellow, with an entrance through the flower shop overgrown with vines that had once been Belle's mother's pride and joy. Now, preserved and ran by Moe, it was one of the best-known places in Storybrooke.

Gold corrected the satchel on his left shoulder and took a step forward. It would not do to stand there like a scarecrow. He was almost touching the doorbell when the doors had opened, and someone would have almost barreled into him if Roy's reflexes weren't quicker.

"Sorry, I di -. Captain. "

The sentence was cut short as it seemed the owner of the terse, low voice had realized into whom he had almost walked in. Gold had bearly managed to avoid the collision only thanks to his instincts that had him twisting his shoulder just enough to only brush against the other man. He didn't need to look up to know who had been now blocking his path. It was easy to guess, and quite an achievement on itself that the encounter had happened just now and not a long time beforehand.

Gold drew himself up to his full height, trying to lean on his cane as little as possible. It didn't help much as he was still a lot shorter than the other man, but it had never stopped him from intimidating him.

"Sargent. Haven't seen you for a while - how have you been?"

Gold's tone was light as if he was conversating about the weather, but his eyes were slightly narrowed, betraying that the encounter hadn't been a nice one in the slightest. There was an edge to his voice too, but he doubted that Gary Gaston had noticed it. Neither this nor the fact that Gold's fingers curled tighter around the cane's handle as his ankle screamed at him to elevate the weight that he was now putting on it.

"A lot of work, sir. Glad to have you back."

I bet it is.

"Yes. I've been told I've been declared dead in action. What a relief that I wasn't, won't you say?"

"Yes, sir. A huge relief."

Lair.

He could see it in the other man's posture - the want to say and do a complete opposite of the words that were leaving his mouth. Gold had spent enough time around Sargent Gaston to be able to read him like an open book, and it wasn't hard really. Besides, the younger man had already tried to get rid of him once, so Roy wondered what was stopping him from acting. But Gaston kept on standing as he had been - back straight like during the drills. The thing that betrayed him had been the muscle in his cheek that kept on spasming now and again.

"Well, I must be going. I have a dinner to attend to, you see."

Gold watched for a reaction and Gaston didn't disappoint. His right eyelid twitched, his jaw clenched and it seemed that he tried really hard not to ball his hands into fists.

"Of course, sir. I won't keep you waiting."

Oh, you already did.

Gold could feel the man's eyes on his back as he turned around, his every instinct screaming at him not to expose himself - the last time his back was turned Gaston had put a bullet through his shoulder. And it had been Gaston - now Roy was more sure of that than ever.

But he did turn around and limped through the flower shop's door and even when they closed behind him, he could swear, Gaston's gaze was still drilling holes in his back even through the wood.

He purposefully didn't turn around and tried to ignore the itching between his shoulder blades. Gold wasn't an amateur. He knew how to mask his emotions most of the time - he wouldn't have gotten to where he was now if he didn't - so he limped further into the shop without a glance back.

The place itself wasn't big - cluttered with flowers at every possible surface and all, but it gave away a homely feel. It was easy to spot Belle's hand in some areas. There - a careful arrangement of blue hyacinths with golden ribbons on the far right and then the bouquet of roses arranged in a heart in the middle of the display. She had mentioned once that putting flowers into shapes calmed her mind. It was something she had inherited from her mother it had seemed.

Gold looked around, unsure of where to go next, feeling like a fish out of water. Noone seemed to be at the front, and there was no move at the back indicating either Belle or her father hiding there, so not wanting to snoop around, he made his way towards the counter. The curiosity got better of him when he spotted a small photo frame, sitting on the edge. Gold picked it up without thinking, the corner of his mouth curling slightly when fully seeing the photograph.

A young woman was sitting on a rocking chair and smiling while holding a wee baby girl. Even without the colour, it was quite obvious who the woman was - her eyes and mouth were the same shape as Belle's not to mention the wavy hair. If the woman was who he thought she was then the child... Gold's smile winded.

"I'm sorry, we're closed! Oh." Gold bearly stopped himself from jumping in surprise and letting go of the frame upon hearing the low voice. He turned around and found himself looking at Belle's very uncomfortably looking father.

"Mr French. I apologize for barging in. The door was unlocked."

"Yes, yes. Not your fault, Captian."

By the look of it, it seemed that Gold wasn't the only one nervous about the oncoming dinner. Moe rubbed his hands on his trousers, then made a gesture towards the door. "Just a moment."

Gold watched him turning the lock, only realizing that he was still holding on to the frame when French's gaze fell back on it after turning around. The silence that followed couldn't be more awkward.

"Belle resembles her mother a lot," remarked Gold while putting the frame back on its previous place, trying for a casual tone.

"Oh, she does. And not only in looks."

Not knowing what more there was to say they stood watching one another for good two minutes before French remembered that it would be better for both of them to head upstairs.

Yes, the dinner had already started to look like quite a disaster.

How a simple dinner could become an awkward affair was quite beyond her. Belle fisted her hand under the table, trying really hard not to bang her head on any of the china. It wasn't like she didn't notice and appreciated the effort that both men were putting into this assemble, no. The problem was, they were trying too hard it seemed - both of them.

Her father looked like he wanted to bolt away any minute from the start, but he had politely inclined about the weather and Roy, looking like he had been facing a fairing squad would answer even more politely to his enquiries.

They were dancing around each other, shooting her sideways glances from time to time, and it was making Belle want to bang their heads together. She really didn't know what to do.

Roy had been back for months, and even if he looked and acted better than he had at first, she knew that a considerable part of it was just an act or more likely an act that slowly was becoming a reality. She made her peace that he would probably never tell her about what had happened during the War, but she wished he would trust her enough to know it didn't matter to her. She just wished he would understand and believe that he wasn't as worthless with his disabilities as he thought himself to be.

She had thought she had lost him once.

That belief, that feeling - it had almost destroyed her. She didn't want to feel it again. It didn't change the fact that the helplessness was slowly getting to her.

"43."

"Oh? And you say you fought in the First War?"

Belle was pulled back from her thoughts by the sudden change of topic. It looked like her father had stopped bitting around the bush and judging by the look on Roy's face, it would have been better if he hadn't.

"But that would make you - "

"16. Now lads had only gotten younger."

The silence that fell over the table felt heavy. Nobody liked to talk about the losses that the War had caused, most of all, Roy. A shadow fell over his face every time the topic was breached, and now it seemed, those scars laid far deeper in his past than she had thought.

"I didn't know you have fought then," Belle whispered, looking down on the plate. She wasn't even born then, and Roy had already... She glanced up, and he sent her a small yet sad smile.

"That last year hadn't been one of the fondest memories."

16...

"Hey," she glanced up when she felt his hand on hers under the table, squeezing reassuringly. Roy was still smiling, even if it didn't reach his eyes. "It's in the past. Not important."

She rotated her hand, threading her fingers through his and squeezed back.

"Nothing that's part of you is unimportant."

His smile winded, not enough to show his teeth, but enough to finally to reach his eyes and he was just about to answer when a clutter of cutlery made both of them jump in their sits. Belle turned her head towards her father, bearly resisting from grinning at how he tried not to look affected, busing his hands with cleaning the splatters of soup on the table with a napkin.

"How silly of me. Clumsy and all, can't reach for a cigarette without a mess," Moe muttered, not looking at them but the flush on his cheeks betraying him.

Belle chuckled then and stood up, taking the napkin from her father and kissing him on the cheek.

"I'll leave the two of you to your smoking and be back in a minute, all right?"

She needed some fresh air.

"You sure?" Moe looked up, his eyes running over her face, searchingly. "I can clean up - "

"It's fine, papa. Relax. You both behave yourselves."

The remark made both Gold and her father almost choke on their drinks, and she shook her head while taking the dishes away.

"Men," she muttered.

Gold watched her go with a lump forming in his throat, briefly wondering if she was doing it on purpose. He knew she needed time to breathe, the small remark that he had been a part of the First War seemed to shake her, and he chid himself for not speaking about it sooner. Maybe then the air between them would have been cleaner? But he had seen no reason to add to the already heavy baggage of guilt. Besides the topic had just simply never come up.

"Well, it seemed we had been left once again alone," Belle's father muttered which made Gold glance in his direction. "Care for a smoke, Captain?"

The corner of Gold's mouth twitched.

"I never say no to that."

They smoked in silence; both of them focused on the smoke rising and dancing in the air. When younger, Gold liked to look for shapes and make rings that rose high towards the ceiling, he had a brief memory of his son clapping at the display those rare times Roy had been smoking indoors. He didn't know when he had ceased doing those silly things.

"Colette wanted me to stop," remarked Moe as he shook ashes from the cigarette. "Couldn't bring myself to do it, honestly. A nasty habit."

Gold grimaced. "Belle doesn't like it either."

"She's stubborn, I warn you. She got it after her mother."

Gold didn't answer. Instead, he flexed his fingers over the handle of his cane that rested against his leg. Stubborn was one way to put it.

"You got any children, Captain?"

He closed his eyes briefly, inhaling the smoke. That question was one of the reasons he hated small talks. Gold knew he could lie, or brush it aside, but something in him didn't want to. A little honesty wouldn't hurt, would it?

"A son," he answered, managing not to react to the surprise written all over French's face and resisting from riching towards the absent pendant. He took a long drag instead. "He's away." More or less.

"Well then," Moe cleared his throat. "As a parent speaking to a parent, you must understand why I'm worried."

"Mr. French - "

"No, Captain, Let me finish." - He raised his hand, looking at the ex-soldier through the smoke. "I can't say I like any of it. I can't say I understand. But what I can say is that I want my daughter happy. So, are we on the same page here?"

Gold looked to the side, through the doorway that Belle had disappeared earlier. Yes, he had remembered how she had told him how her father had been insistent about her relationship with Gaston, but could he blame him? If he was in Maurice's shoes, wouldn't he act the same? On one side, a young man and a friend of the family while on the other, there had been an old soldier, new to the town and unfamiliar - Moe's choice and opinion weren't as surprising when faced with the facts.

He turned his gaze back towards the other man. "Yes. I think we are."

"Good." They lit another cigarette. "Have you thought about proposing?"

Gold choked on the smoke. How could that be that it was the man, who had looked like he had wanted to escape earlier was the same one as asking those questions?

"I think that this matter is more between Belle and me," he remarked, not wanting to dwell on the subject.

Moe shrugged his shoulders. "I would have given you her mother's ring, but I had pawned it years ago. I was quite - "

"Would you excuse me for a moment?" Gold stood up, putting out the cigarette and gripping his cane tightly. A polite talk he could do, but this conversation was starting to enter areas that he really didn't want to poke.

"Yes, yes, of course."

Judging by how relieved Belle's father looked at the announcement, he was more than happy to let it go.

Gold limped through the doorway, but not finding Belle anywhere near the kitchen he made his way towards the open balcony door. The air was chilly, as adequate for early January, and Gold shivered as a gush of wind blew some of the snowflakes against his face. He cautiously stepped over the threshold, instantly spotting Belle by the railing. She was leaning on her elbows, her cheeks red from the cold, although dressed in a heavy coat - his coat.

"You'll catch a cold if you keep standing there, you know?"

She didn't jump when hearing his voice only slightly turned in his direction, a smile dancing across her lips.

"Care to warm me up, then?"

His eyes softened, and without hesitation, he draped his arm over her shoulder, enjoying the warmth that spread inside of him as Belle snuggled closer, bringing her arms around his middle.

She didn't speak for a while, face buried in Roy's coat, listening to his heartbeat as her cheek rested on his chest. He smelled of tobacco that weirdly didn't match him as her father smoked a different brand, but beneath it, there was that other smell that was so undoubtedly his that it made her feel safe and calm.

"Did my father scared you off?" she mumbled.

"Hmm? No, I don't think so. He... um, he spoke of proposing, though," he added after a moment, hesitant. She could feel his shoulders tensing.

She glanced up, searching his eyes, but he avoided looking at her. She didn't know what to feel. Hope? Fear?

"Roy - "

"Would you like me to?" He interrupted, meeting her gaze. There was something in his eyes that she didn't know how to read. Uncertainty? "To propose, I mean."

"And would you?"

A question for a question. Only fair, considering they both seemed to know the answer.

Roy sighed, looking into the distance.

"Of course, I would. But is it bad that not yet? I- Well, yeah."

Belle couldn't help but smile softly and only after a moment she climbed on her toes and kissed him on the cheek.

"No. How about we both wait a little bit longer, then?"

"I'm sorry, I keep worrying you. You don't deserve that."

"Roy - "

"No. Let me finish," Roy interrupted her for a second time, twisting so he could look her in the eye. "You can't keep doing this to yourself, Belle. When was the last time you went out with Ms Lucas or anyone else?"

Her silence was enough of an answer, so Gold took her chilly hands in his. "I can't love you enough for what you're doing for me, but you need to take care of yourself too. It's enough that one of us is, well, not enough."

By the end, he wasn't looking at her anymore, and Belle rubbed her hand over his cheek to comfort him as best as she could. They were quite a pair.

"You're enough for me."

He turned his face and kissed her palm.

"I love you."

"I love you too, and you're right, but you can't stop me from worrying."

"I worry too, you know?"

She giggled lightly. Yes, quite a pair they were.

"How about a deal?" She asked, taking a step away from him.

"You want to make a deal with me?" He asked, frowning.

"Yep. I will try not to over-worry, and you'll try not to think about yourself as inadequate."

He raised his brow.

"Hard terms, but it seems fair, I admit."

"Then deal it is, captain Gold."

"All right, miss French. A deal is struck." They shock their hands just as a chill went down both of their bodies, making them shiver. "Now, how about we head inside, or your father may wonder what we have gotten into."

Belle giggled then hugged him one last time before taking his hand into hers and tugging him towards the flat. "God forbid, he came looking."

The rest of the dinner went more smoothly, but as Gold returned to his small room, the remark that Belle's father made about his wife's wedding band kept playing over in his head. There was only one pawn shop in Storybrooke. Maybe it was time to make a short visit there.

Gary Gaston stood outside the flower shop door for a long time after they had closed after captain Gold.

He didn't know what to do. After he had heard about the accident involving Nottingham, he had hoped the man would be in bad enough shape to do Gary a little favour and die, but it seemed to be a futile hope. Getting his own hands on Gold was continuing to be a problem considering he was hardly ever alone...

Some would think that Gary had forgotten, that he had gotten over the humiliation that was loosing to an older man, but no, he hadn't. Nor had he forgiven.

A lone snowflake fell on the tip of his nose, making him look up to the sky.

Well, he had been inpatient and too sure of himself once. He wouldn't make the same mistake again.

Gary Gaston turned on his heel and marched towards his home.

It didn't matter if Gold suspected him or not - a good hunter could wait as long as needed, and if anything, Gary was a good hunter.

#once upon a time #rumbelle #rumbelle fanfiction #Golden Beauty #AU #Rumplestiltskin #Belle French #my fic #Fic: Until The last Petal Falls

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rocohen20 · 5 years ago

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He Knew He Fucked Up- Part 5

Hi everyone, I’m back! I’m here with another part. I advice you to check this Blog Update that I posted, this post also informs you on my plan for this series. I hope you’ll love this part.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Series Update, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

~~~~~~

Jamie woke up early, much earlier, than what was expected out of him on the morning of the season opener. He tried to fall back asleep once he saw the time. Yet the same nervous energy which woke him up, now has kept him wide awake. He tried to switch positions while breathing calmly and keeping his mind as blank as possible. Half an hour later he gave up and started doing what he always did when he couldn't fall asleep- strategize about his next move in life while reading his "To Do List/ Improvements in Life" note.

He started writing the list shortly after Tyler caught him sleeping with Tyler's then girlfriend of eleven months- Zoe. His memories of that night weren't the greatest. What were kept however played nonstop in his mind, like game highlights.

First was the text he got from his ex-girlfriend- Julie, telling him to go grab his remaining stuff from her place. That text infuriated him so much, and he still loved her so much that he didn't want to think for the rest of the night.

The next picture was of Zoe in front of him, trying to counsel his sad drunk ass. From that it jumped to him kissing Zoe, desperately, like it would help him get over the situation in his life.

The next moment was the most important part, the part that had haunted him for months ever since. He remembered still being busy with Zoe, feeling good while doing it when suddenly he felt Zoe tensing all over. Concerned, he searched her face for any clue as to what was wrong. However her face was white as a sheet and stuck in the direction of the door. So he followed her gaze, and caught Tyler's frame.

For a few seconds, which felt like forever, all three of them were stuck exactly as they were while remaining eye contact. He stared at Tyler's face as his eyes started watering, his face stuck between hurt and sad. Then, Tyler's sudden movement of turning around and without a single word just walking away broke the spell. In seconds Zoe grabbed the blanket that was set aside, covered her body and followed Tyler's footsteps. Jamie remembered Lying in his bed, hearing the front door slammed and thinking of a word to summarize the situation- "Fuck".

Following the faithful day Jamie was unable to set foot in his own bedroom for months without feeling like the scum of the earth. So in response he just sort of moved to his guest bedroom. The guest bedroom wasn't as comfortable as his own room, so he had problems sleeping. On one of those sleepless nights he just took a look at his entire life, critiquing every habit he had and thought about a way to improve. When he finished with it he wrote the list of what he needed to immediately do in his life.

Now, on this fine morning he contemplated his next move. The first thing on his list he already scratched. He took his time to be sure that it was done before scratching it, but during the team's rush in preparation for the season Jamie was sure that he indeed solved the situation among them.

The next thing wasn't so easy. He stared at the "Moving to a new place" with self-doubt on whether he would follow suit on it. At the time of writing the list he knew that this house would forever remind him of his mistake, and in order to improve and be better he needed to forgive himself and move on. The problem with that was that Jamie was a hockey player- he liked to keep a grudge and he liked self-inflicted torture.

The last few days were filled with practices and preparations for the season, but it was also filled with lots of staring at the list and even of getting a phone number of a good realtor from a friend. Yet, he still hadn't made the call.

He stayed in bed until he had to get up. He ate breakfast and got ready for practice. At the rink he tried to be focused solely on the present and the game later on the day. He liked their team and was excited for the season. On his way back from the rink he decided to call the realtor in a matter of days, if they would win.

They lost.

Jamie was already mentally prepared for the phone call with the realtor, so he bet once again on the same deal on their second game of the season.

They lost again.

Following the lost, his superstitious side screamed at him for jinxing the games. So he decided to make the fucking call on the two days leading the next game.

+++

When he got off the phone call with Joanne River, a realtor from some popular real estate company, he needed a minute to chill. Just from this phone call alone he knew that she wasn't messing around. She orchestrated a full on conversation with him, including building a solid game-plan which took in notice their individual schedules, while preparing what he assumed was a house for visitors.

He was kind of intimidated by her however he was happy that she agreed to help him. She told him that for the next week and a half she would be too preoccupied to really draft him houses and places to check. Yet after that she would be free to seriously work on it and to send him whatever she'd find.

So he just moved on, focusing on the season. They won more than once and he was happy. He also tried to stay away from Seggy's business. They were friends again, and things were fine on the ice. However, Segs told him to trust him and not look into his whole situation with Emma, so he did just that. Everything he heard thus far on Emma and Tyler wasn't much. Mostly about how Emma was currently looking for a job as an accountant and if anyone on the team heard something they need to report to Segs about it. Apart from that the guys started to chirp Tyler about his and Emma's weekly "Date night". Tyler never denied the allegations so Jamie assumed it was true. Deep inside Jamie stuck to the mantra "As long as Tyler's happy, I'm happy" and hoped for the best.

+++

True to her word Joanne started to flood his e-mail with listing for whole sorts of houses. At first he felt overwhelmed by the never-ending list of potential new places, but then he and Joanne entered this smooth groove of her sending him an option, him telling her what he liked or disliked about the place, and her sending adjusted options. Finally they drafted a solid list of places for them to check in person after the "Canada Trip".

The trip ended up being a bit disappointing, but he was still pumped about the houses.

Every single house was a bust, well not a total bust, yet he wasn't fully sold on any of them. So they started their second draft of houses for him to check.

+++

At a team dinner in Florida, during a random pause around the table Spezz asked Jamie about the house hunt. Well more specifically on whether he liked the house on Spezz's neighborhood (Jamie asked him about the area).

He was about to answer Jason, who sat two seats beside him, when Tyler asked "You're moving out?"

Tyler shot him this unexplained betrayed look that Jamie didn't know how to interpret. Eventually he shot a dismissed answer along the likes of "Yeah, got tired of my house". That time he didn't wait for an answer and just turn to answer the original question. For the rest of the night he and Jason just continued to talk about the process. Tyler didn't bother him since the original brush off, but he had a feeling it wasn't finished yet.

+++

The following day there was someone at his hotel room. When he checked to see who it was he found a nervous looking Tyler waiting to be let in. Jamie had manners, so he let Segs in. Jamie wanted to stall as much as possible whatever talk Tyler wanted to have, so he just stalled the time with making the both of them a tea. He stared at the kettle, as though it would make it boil faster. During this time he could see Tyler pacing back and forth on the carpet from the angle of his eyes. Once the cups of tea were made he pushed one at the direction of Tyler and led them both to the bed.

He knew Segs good enough to recognize that something bothered him, but he also knew him enough to know there was no point of pushing him, eventually he would tell you what he wanted to talk about.

Once Tyler opened his mouth Jamie was surprised to hear the direct question of "Are you moving away because of what happened in the summer?"

For a few seconds Jamie was at a loss for words. Then he drafted vague enough answer to not admit for the true reason. He was about to tell Tyler that when Tyler just started talking again.

"You're about to tell me some bullshit response which I don't want to hear. So, I just want to tell you that if indeed the incident from the summer is the cause of that you shouldn't move out. I know you, and I know how you absolutely love your house. You shouldn’t punish yourself".

With hearing the last sentence's phrasing he couldn't hold himself back, and let this absurd chuckle. Once he cooled down he started to talk, knowing that he needed to be honest with Tyler.

"I would punish myself if I stayed living at the house. Ever since what happened I've been living in my guest bedroom. Apart from it being a smaller room, I have trouble sleeping soundly there. Ever since the end of the offseason, I've been in need for sleep for the sake of our jobs. So yeah, moving is a must".

He looked at Tyler with hopeful eyes, but when he saw the bothered face of Tyler he sighed, knowing he couldn't escape from it, and continued with the explanation.

"Also, I want to be a better person, the kind that would never act the way I did. One of the steps I have to do in order to follow that is to move on and forgive myself. It's hard to do so when I live at the scene of the crime day in and day out. That's why I'm moving out- for my sake and not yours".

Tyler looked relaxed with Jamie's reasoning, yet he still looked bothered and like he had something important to say. Jamie was embracing himself for it, but after a long moment Segs just stood up, gave Jamie a noogie and told him in his most sincere voice "You're already a good person" and left the room. Jamie was stuck in his place for a long moment, trying to interpret what this reaction was. At last he decided to see it as Tyler's unique way of showing his support and approval, and Jamie was happy with it. Then he started to get ready for bed, and looked forward their next game.

#nhl imagines #Tyler Seguin #tyler seguin imagine #jamie benn #jamie benn imagine #dallas stars imagine #dallas stars #hockey imagines

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idontblushsrry · 5 years ago

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Under the weather|| k.th

A/N: This fic has been in my drafts and idea notebooks for a whiiiillllle, I hope that you guys enjoy it even though I haven’t posted in months. Lemme know what you think of the story and any other thoughts in the comments. Also if you get my trash-ass vine references I’ll love you forever.

Genre: Fluff, coffee shop! au, non-idol! au

Summary: When your flirty co-worker confesses his feelings, you snap on him and hope that everything he cares about is destroyed. Of course this backfires and you immediately become sick out of the blue...for some reason.

Warning: Cussing, reader is a dick for no reason, apron Taehyung

Words: 2433

Your life was about routine. Every morning you wake up at 6, make your bed, cleanse your sheets of negative energy, then head to the kitchen to have a cup of ginger tea with honey, stirred counterclockwise for healing, and cotton in a bowl of sugar for luck. It’s quiet, of course, and some might find it boring but you find it peaceful to be alone, the only pace you move at is your own. You center your thoughts with a deep, counting breath.

This offers a few seconds of respite before moving to the topic that’d been on your mind persistently these past few months.

Kim Taehyung.

About 3 months ago, your flirtatious co-worker had turned his attention towards you. Each time he’d greet you with some form of a compliment. With lines such as, ‘Y/N, so beautiful, the sun wakes up to greet her’. You’d be flattered if you hadn’t seen him use that line on 2 different girls that came through the shop beforehand. You used to roll your eyes and ignore him. Although now, it’s begun to irritate you.

You feel pawing at your ankle and turn your attention towards your cat, Sage. He meows and paws your ankle with an urgency that only meant one of two things; he was hungry or he wanted attention.

You set your cup down and make your way to the cabinet where you put his food. Sage was a part of your routine that served as an alarm, and he more often than not was telling you to continue with your day.

You took a quick shower, getting ready to go to work in almost record time. Even having time to do something more special with your hair.

“What do you think Sage?”, you twirl around for him as if he’s going to reply at all. As expected, he simply blinks at you and meows.

“I really need to get out more, I’m turning into a crazy cat lady.” You grab your house keys and wave goodbye to Sage who just watches at you unamused.

Kim Taehyung was… interesting to say the least.

To you he was becoming a 5’10 headache that never seemed to go away or get better. In fact, he was only getting worse by the day.

So when you open the door to the small cafe you work at and find Taehyung and Jungkook in the middle of one of their dumb competitions, you’re not surprised. Jungkook spots you first and looks up from the shoe he and Taehyung had been curling intensely to wave at you.

“Hey Y/N”, as he does that, Taehyung appeared to make a goal against Jungkook.

“What are you two doing?”, you posed, confused as Taehyung started to wildly run around the cafe in some sort of weird victory dance...ritual?

“We’re playing cafe curling, I doubt you’d understand” replies Taehyung jokingly, out-of-breath from his previous adrenaline filled celebration.

“Shouldn’t we…” you crossed your arms “I don’t know, set up the cafe before it opens in like 30 minutes?” you held up your phone to show them the time. As soon as they saw it they went into panic mode and started to set up the cafe frantically. You sighed and rolled your eyes at their antics while you went to the backroom to change into your work uniform.

The daily rush had passed by and it was almost the end of your shift, and you and Jungkook were chilling. Taehyung walks out from the backroom, freshly changed out of his work uniform and in his normal clothes.

“Hey Y/N, can you come with me for a sec?” He looked almost...nervous asking that. You looked back at Jungkook who gave you a thumbs up letting you know he’d be okay alone.

You and Taehyung walked outside to the cold January air. You pulled your coat tighter and looked at Taehyung, waiting for what he was going to say.

“Y/N I’m going to tell you straight up. I like you, a lot. I think you’re really cute and I think we should hang out or-” he mumbles the last part as he lost his nerve and you strain to hear it. Along the lines of “or something.”

You pause. Thoughts racing a million miles a minute’, you never saw this coming. In fact, this was the exact opposite of what you prepared for.

But of course, your mouth speaks faster than you can properly process this information and instead of the well-thought out, mature, adult response you’d planned on your mouth spits out.

“Do I look like a joke to you Taehyung?”, ah, yes, how does the saying go? Hindsight is 20/20?

“W-What?” He looked surprised, his eyes bugging out of his head comically. You would’ve laughed, should’ve laughed, maybe then you wouldn’t have been in this situation, but alas.

“What do you mean ‘what’? Do you think my feelings are a fucking joke Taehyung. Why are you still playing with me?” your anger grew with each word, maybe you were a little out of line but you started this and you were running with it. The clueless look on his face added to your anger and frustration.

“Y/N, what the fuck is wrong with you?! Why are you acting like this?”

“Are you fucking stupid? I’m mad because you’re pretending you care about me.” Taehyung looks like he’s going to say something but you cut him off. “Seriously, I was fine with your jokes, but this, honestly how cruel are you gonna be?”, your voice breaks a little and you hope he doesn’t notice.

He looks apologetic then pauses, his expression steeling and body tensing, “Yeah Y/N, I don’t know what I was thinking. Clearly I saw something that wasn’t there. Sorry about your fucking feelings.” He turns around to walk back into the cafe.

“Fuck you Taehyung, I hope everything you ever care about is ruined!”, you shout weakly as he walks away. It’s useless as he’s already slammed the door on you, but you feel like it’s done something.

The wind picks up and it gets cooler, the air changes and everything feels… different.

You were going to stay outside to cool down some, but head inside where it’s significantly warmer. When you get inside you’re rudely brought back to reality and find Taehyung gone and an angry Jungkook glaring at you. Deciding you’ve had enough of today, you grab your things and exit in a hurry, leaving Jungkook to close up the shop alone.

After going home, cooling down, and thinking about it, you decided you really were a dick to Taehyung. Even if he was playing a cruel joke, there was no need for things to get that out of hand. While doing your nightly routine, you decided that you would apologize to Taehyung for yelling at him tomorrow morning as soon as you saw him. No exceptions.

Except, Taehyung wasn’t there. Normally he and Jungkook would already be deep in whatever competition they were doing in lieu of their actual work. But when you got there, Jungkook was sweeping quietly with his headphones in and Taehyung was nowhere to be found.

You waved at Jungkook as you walked past him to head to the backroom. Maybe Taehyung was back there?

Nope. Only Jungkook’s things were back here. Disheartened somewhat, you continued getting changed into your uniform.

When you left the back room, you tapped on Jungkook’s shoulder. He glanced at you with a gaze colder than you’d ever seen from the young man.

“Did you need something?”

You physically recoiled from his words and demeanor. Ok you deserved that one, you manage to shuffle through your answer, “Oh, uh, yea is Taehyung around? I wanted to talk to him.”

“No, it’s his day off. Anything else?”

Fuck. How could you forget? Stupid, stupid, stupid. “No, sorry. I’m gonna go do the coffee thing. Yeah”, you trail off and shuffle away from Jungkook as quickly and as gracefully as the last 0.2% of your dignity will allow.

The rest of the day is spent with you wallowing in guilt and generally being stuck inside your own head.

Attempt 1: Failed

You had planned to apologize to Taehyung today but apparently he switched shifts with Hoseok. Now you loved Hoseok, really no complaints, but he wasn’t the one you cussed out for no reason and needed to apologize to.

You’d contemplated texting Taehyung the apology but decided it was better to do it in person. In addition to that, you had no reason to text him.

You spent the rest of the day banging your head on walls and sliding down them dramatically while Hobi and Jungkook watched you confused.

Attempt 2: Failed

About one week after your last failed attempt, you woke up with a splitting migraine and fever.

Your migraine and fever had quickly evolved into a sweaty, vomiting, pain ball as soon as the world around you stopped spinning you called the old lady who owned the cafe you worked and told her as bluntly as possible that you weren't gonna make it. You then hoped she informed your co-workers. You then called your friends and asked them to stop by to feed Sage and check on you.

Mentally apologizing to your co-workers, you rolled over in bed and passed out.

At this point, you haven’t seen Taehyung in almost 3 weeks, your fever got worse to the point of your friends suggesting you head to the hospital. But you assured them you were fine, although you didn’t quite feel that way. The problem was you’d feel better and then prepare to go to work and apologize to Taehyung and then you’d be doubled over in pain.

One day, you’d decided that you had enough and put on a mask and gloves, chugged a ton of medicine, and walked down to the cafe.

The familiar sound of the little bell on the door rang and Jungkook and Taehyung’s heads turned towards the sound.

“Y/N are you okay?!”

“We missed you!”

“Do you need anything?”

The both of them glomped you and you almost fell over. Laughing excitedly you look at both of them and smile.

Taehyung gestures for you to sit down and you take the invite, already feeling dizzy. The boys are asking you questions but you feel out of it, and you don’t know if it’s the medicine or your illness.

“...so worried! I mean you just stopped coming in one day.” You don’t know if that was Taehyung or Jungkook or both of them on account of your plugged ears.

“Hey. Hey Y/N.” Taehyung snapped his fingers in front of your face as you looked into his eyes and...well you don’t remember what happened after that.

When you came to, you were in your bed and your fever had cooled down noticeably. Aside from that how’d you even get here, last you remembered you were in the cafe.

Just then Taehyung walked in with an apron and a tray of soup. “Oh good! You’re awake.” He approached you, putting the tray down on your nightstand, and then reaching out to feel your head for a fever.

The intensity and concern in his gaze, along with being next to the person you yelled at for no reason made you want to crawl into a hole and die . Your shoulders tensed up and subconsciously you seemed to hold your breath. Taehyung seemed to finally notice how uncomfortable he was making you and he immediately snatched his hand back. The touch of warmth from his hand still lingered and you chose to attribute the tingly feeling in your stomach to your illness rather than what you knew it to be.

Looking guilty and embarrassed, Taehyung stammers out, “I’m sorry, I just was checking and… I… shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry”. He’s sorry?! What reason does he have to be sorry?! You yelled at him, and hurt his feelings and yet he took care of you and made sure your dumbass didn’t die, although he kind of was the reason you almost died.

“Why are you even apologizing to me?”

“I-huh,what?”, Taehyung stopped mid-rant twisting his face with a pout.

“Why are you apologizing to me? I mean I… I was terrible to you. I was a dick, I mean seriously, why are you apologizing.”, your tone became more imploring,desperate, and confused.

“I told you Y/N, I have feelings for you. I know you were a dick.”,Taehyung’s voice lowered as he stated this, although, towards the end he snorted and started to laugh, “I also know that you’re loyal, caring, passionate, and beautiful and all sorts of other things.”

Without hesitation, you reach for Taehyung’s hand. His fingers weave into yours and you look into his eyes.

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul and that within your eyes you can see the truth. Your fears of Taehyung lying and playing a cruel joke on you melt away. There is a low thrum of electricity buzzing between the two of you. The tension between the two of you changed now that the air has been somewhat cleared.

You took a deep breath to calm down, you couldn’t even look Taehyung in the eyes, “I’m sorry Taehyung. I just- and I- I know there’s no excuse and- I… I like you too. I know you-” Taehyung eagerly rushes forward and seals your lips together.

You move your body closer to his, Taehyung’s hands hold your face, firmly as though you’ll float away if he doesn’t. Of course you aren’t innocent, you stroke the hair at the nape of his neck and work your fingers into his hair. Pulling away from him was exceptionally difficult, especially with Taehyung lingering and chasing after you.

You open your eyes and see Taehyung sitting there with the biggest, goofiest grin on his face. The look on his face is so ridiculous that it makes you laugh, although you try to cover it, you couldn’t hide it if you tried.

“You have such a beautiful smile, I’d love to see it more often.” You look up at Taehyung shyly, still feeling remorseful over how you acted towards him.

You sat up and turned towards him, “I’m sorry Taehyung, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

“You can answer this question for me.”

You leaned in at full attention, “Of course, anything.”

“Will you go on a date with me?”

#bts imagines #kim taehyung imagines #kim taehyung x reader #bts x reader #bts scenarios #bts fic #BTS au #bts x black reader #bts x poc

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eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago

Text

674.

have you ever violated school dress code? >> I wasn’t allowed to wear anything that would have violated any school dress codes, so I have no idea how that would have ever happened.

if you are listening to music, is the singer male / female? >> I’m not listening to music.

what [ if anything ] do you give up for Lent? >> I don’t observe Lent.

what phrase leads your mind directly to the gutter? >> I mean, I can’t think of any on command, but there are plenty I come across online and stuff that make me snicker. I just like wordplay, tbh.

when you feel like giving up, how do you convince yourself not to? >> I mean, it’s mostly Can Calah who gives the impassioned arguments in defense of not giving up. I just listen and gripe and wait for his infallible logic to work its magic.

what are your opinions on immigration? >> I don’t have a blanket opinion on immigration. I have no personal issue with individual immigrants, no matter their story. They’re just people to me, who want the same things I want -- to survive, to have their needs met, to make a better life.

would you tell an actual immigrant your views? >> Of course I would, if they were unsure where they stood with me.

what was the subject of the last list you made? >> I don’t remember the last time I made a list.

do you ever get nervous before interviews / important meetings? >> I mean, I would if that was a thing that occurred in my life.

who pays for the majority of your belongings? >> It’s pretty evenly split between me and Sparrow.

would you ever willingly shop in a thrift store? >> Of course...?

what is the most that you would ever spend on an outfit? >> I mean... that depends on many factors, including what the outfit is for and how much money I have.

is there anything you do that just outrages your parents? >> ---

when was the last time you were embarrassed in public? >> I don’t remember.

have you ever won an award you were actually proud of? >> I mean, maybe a long time ago. Doubtful, though.

the importance of education, rate it from 1-10, 10 as most important? explain your choice to rate it as such? >> I rank formal education rather low on my personal importance scale, but I rank informal, interest-based learning very high on my personal importance scale. I love to learn, but I don’t operate well in school settings and actually end up learning less in those settings.

what is the coolest science experiment you've ever done? >> I haven’t done any cool science experiments. :(

are you experiencing difficulties with any friends right now? >> No.

how do you deal with a fight between yourself and a friend? >> I don’t know how to deal with that kind of thing anymore.

when you apologize to someone after a fight, how do you go about saying that you are sorry? >> I haven’t been in this situation in a long time, I don’t know.

have you ever played around with "dry ice"? >> No.

do you think parents are responsible for the actions of their children? >> Of course they are, if we’re talking literal children (not teenagers). It takes some time for a small human to develop the sense of independent reasoning and reckoning of consequence that would allow them to take full responsibility for their actions.

how do you, personally, define music? >> I never really thought about it, it’s one of those concepts where I basically take my understanding of it for granted.

should the military draft take both men AND women? why / why not? >> That’s not a debate I’m willing to get into. I want nothing to do with a draft and I ideally wouldn’t want anyone else to have to deal with getting drafted, actually.

when was the last time that you corrected someone? >> I don’t remember. It was probably something really minor and not a big deal for either party. --Oh yeah I remember now, it was about why Bourbon Street is named Bourbon Street.

when was the last time you were corrected? >> It was also probably about something minor and nbd. I think the last time might have been when I misspelled “Lolth” because believe it or not, I’ve been doing that since 2009. I always misspell it “Lloth”, it’s just what happens.

when did you last say " i told you so "? >> I don’t remember. I try to avoid saying that unless it’s about something funny/silly.

is there any celebrity you like to " keep up with "? >> Not especially. I mean, there are definitely actors and directors that I pay attention to more than others when they get involved in new things, but I always forget to like, keep regular tabs on them or whatever.

celebrity gossip: YAY or BOO? >> Boo.

what is the most life-changing book you have read? >> I couldn’t say. A lot of books I’ve read have had a significant impact on me in some way.

have you had a negative impact on anyone's life? >> Sure.

has anyone had a negative impact on yours? who / why? >> Absolutely. I’m not going to elaborate, the negative impact that others have had on me is both 1) way too lengthy and sensitive to elaborate on and 2) not worth dwelling on right now when I just want to chill and take a survey.

what does marriage mean to you, specifically? >> It means legal recognition of our partnership, which is necessary for things like, say, being each other’s advocates in a medical emergency.

how will you know when you are ready to get married? >> I didn’t bother fretting over whether I was “ready” or not. We’d been living together for a couple of years by the time the topic even came up, it didn’t seem like a weird next step to make.

how much time have you spent contemplating your own death? >> Way more time than is logical, probably.

is there a joke that you just can't stand? >> I mean, probably. There are a lot of insensitive jokes out there.

have you ever read any self-help books? >> Yeah.

what's your take on the obesity problem in america? >> I don’t have a take on it. You know what I do have a take on? The constant social pressure to be thin, and the resultant contagious obsessions with eating the “right” foods, compulsive exercising, and worrying about a number on a scale. Being fat, of all things, shouldn’t be this dramatically frightening or repulsive to people, but that’s what we’re made to believe, and that’s the message we’re all internalising on a daily basis. I’m fucking tired of it. I got enough problems.

what is something you used to love, but now greatly dislike? >> I don’t think I’ve ever flipped that hard on anything. There are things I’ve liked casually that I ended up not caring about later on, but nothing that I loved that I started hating later. I might shift from being obsessed with something to just being chill about it, but that’s it.

what is something you used to dislike, but now like? >> I disliked Metallica as a child.

when ( if ) you become a parent, what will you do differently, compared to how your parents raised you? >> I don’t plan on being a parent, but how I treat children in general is almost directly in contrast to how I was treated as a child. I treat them with respect, I listen to what they have to say, I let them feel their feelings, I show interest in their interests, etc.

do you equate spanking with physical abuse? would you spank a child? >> Let’s just say that I did not ever feel loved or respected when I was spanked. I felt terrified and shameful and being left alone to self-soothe afterwards with no real understanding of why I was being punished so harshly definitely didn’t help. I don’t feel like my understanding of right and wrong was healthily developed by corporal punishment. I don’t see any benefit to it, but I see a lot of harm. So, no. I would not spank a child.

what's the most ridiculous thing you've done this week? >> I have no idea. I don’t think I’ve done anything especially ridiculous?

--- did you regret it / love it / hate it / want to do it again / etc? >> ---

is emotional cheating ( in a relationship ) as bad as physically cheating? >> I have no opinion on this, it’s irrelevant to my life.

if your bf/gf wanted to wait until marriage for sex, would you be willing? >> ---

when you look at the sunset, what do you think about / feel? >> I mean, it all depends, don’t it? I don’t have the exact same thought every time I look at something.

is there someone you wish you could trust / you wish was trustworthy? >> No. I just wish I didn’t have such overdeveloped trust issues.

is there anyone that you no longer want in you life? who / why? >> Well, yeah, and those people are, therefore, no longer in my life.

how has your outlook on life changed in the past few years? >> I’m not sure, I haven’t really kept track.

have you ever walked out of a boring movie ( in theaters )? >> No. I did want to walk out of Infinity War, though. Not because it was boring, but because it was pissing me off. (Also, that was back when Anthony was still around, and he wanted to walk out too.)

how open are you with people you know online? >> It depends on how I know them, what we have in common, how long I’ve known them and to what degree, etc.

what do you think of athletes that take steroids? >> I don’t think about that.

if a celebrity is involved in scandal after scandal, is that likely to effect how you view him/her & his/her work? >> Not really. I barely notice when scandals like that happen, anyway. It also seems like most scandals are just sensationalised overhyped nonsense to get people talking about whoever it is, for publicity, and has nothing to do with, like, the merits of the performer’s art or whatever.

what is one celebrity that you have zero respect for? >> ---

what is one fashion trend that you hope makes a comeback? >> ---

what is one that you wish would just die out already? >> ---

have you ever driven under the influence of alcohol / drugs? >> I don’t drive, period.

are you overly attached to your material possessions? >> No. I can be a bit under-attached, in fact. I’ll throw a thing away in a heartbeat. (This doesn’t apply to like, electronics, or any other expensive thing that I use on a constant basis. But like, t-shirts, books, toys, novelty items, other shit that ends up just taking up space and collecting dust? Bye.)

have you ever ridiculed anyone for their clothing choices? >> Not since I was a teenager, most likely.

living in poverty: what do you think it'd be like? >> I... I have lived in poverty. Poverty is my default state of existence. I don’t really know what to tell you about “what it’s like”. What’s it like to not be poor?

what is one " diet " that you think is just utterly worthless? >> All of them are worthless to me.

what advice would you give someone that is uncomfortable with his or her body / appearance? >> I wouldn’t give them advice. Advice is what the entire world is going to try to give them. I’d imagine they’d be tired of advice (unless they’re specifically asking me for it, I guess). But I’ll always have a “mood” or “I know that feel” to offer, because... yeah. Same. The shit sucks and there’s no easy way out of it.

what advice would you give someone about to start high school? >> I don’t even want to think about that phase of life, I’ll pass.

what foreign food are you NOT interested in trying? >> *shrug*

what foreign country do you believe is misunderstood? >> I mean, I don’t know. USian attitudes towards and assumptions about a lot of countries are... misinformed at best.

have you ever felt entirely unwanted and alone? >> Yeah.

in your eyes, which is worse: rape or murder? >> Nope, don’t care.

do you understand / read shakespeare? >> I have never been able to grok Shakespeare, and I’m not interested enough to keep trying.

would you feel comfortable living with someone that owned a gun? >> Most likely not. Luckily, that’s not likely to happen.

do you know anyone that lives in a foreign country? >> I mean, yeah, I use the internet.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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joonyverse · 6 years ago

Text

(extra)ordinary. - Baekhyun (EXO) (Part 2)

A/N: Hello I’m back! Very sorry for the EXTREMELY LATE update! I actually had a carpel tunnel syndrome for some week, and it hurts so much I can’t write :( and when it’s gone, I was busy with school things as well, this chapter has been sitting patiently in my draft waiting to be posted, but I keep forgetting it as I get tired easily :( Anyway, here’s Part 2 for you! Thank you for waiting!

Summary: It all begin when a law student met a young CEO at a courtroom. So many questions went through each other’s mind, yet neither ask each other the question. You’re now have graduated, desperate for jobs, but what would you do when you meet the CEO at the homicide case trial again after a year?

Genre: Rom-com? Fluff, a little bit of angst

Warning: Age gap, Trigger Warning: Creepy Sexual remarks, curses, Grammar mistakes, bad english probably

CEO!Baekhyun x Reader

masterlist

“Your Honor, the accusations towards my client based on the evidence is invalid, and” You said to the judge as you walked closer to the plaintiff, “I have evidence” you added. You smirked at the plaintiff before walking to the judge to present said evidence.

Gasps from the audiences were heard. Everyone’s attention were on you. At the past trials, your client was deemed impossible to win the case by the audiences and circumstances. But now that you have evidence, you felt confident. Deep inside, you got to be honest, you felt nervous. But you pushed the nervousness deep down. You have some job to do, a living to make.

You see an expression of shocked, nervousness, and much more in the plaintiff’s face. And something about it makes you feel satisfied inside. “That- That couldn’t be! I throw it away! I did throw the thing away! That couldn’t be!” the plaintiff said frantically. She suddenly turned hysterical.

The judge knocked the gavel, catching everyone’s attention, even the plaintiff. “Defendant, how do you plead?” the judge asked, authority in her voice.

Your client got up from his seat. You gave him a confident smile. “Not guilty, your honor” he said before he sat back down.

“Very well, the defendant is found not guilty, therefore, he will be released immediately” The judge said before she knocked the gavel again.

“No! He is guilty Your Honor! Please listen to me!!” the plaintiff screams hysterically.

You let out a sigh in relief. You closed your eyes and smiled. Until you felt a shake from your side. You opened your eyes and saw your client thanking you countless times. You smiled at him. “I trust you, Mr. Kim” you said to him as you pat his back before you got up from your seat.

Before you can walk any further, he grabbed your hand. You looked back at him. “As my treat and my gratitude, dinner tonight?” Mr. Kim said to you with a hopeful smile on his face. You sighed. You’re not a big fan of having dinner with your client. “Uh Mr. Kim-“ “I get it y/n, you’re not a fan of dinner with client” your client cut you off, followed by a chuckle that somehow sounds… sad, to you at least.

You sighed. You felt a little bit guilty for it. “I’ll try to fit it into my schedule” you said, giving him a little smile.

He smiled back at you. “Thank you, I’ll be waiting for that message, y/n” he said. And with that, you left the courtroom.

You felt a tap on your shoulder when you’re one step away from the exit door. You sighed and turned around, facing whoever tapped you.

“What can I help you with?” You said, with a smile that seems forced.

“We are from-“

“B Inc, offering you a job, bla bla bla” you cut off, followed by rolling your eyes.

“Mr. Byun could offer you more than what you want, Miss” the man said still with a polite smile on.

You sighed and stopped on your track.

“Even a protection” he added. That particular line caught you off guard. What could he simply mean by ‘protection’, you thought.

“You know what, if your Mr. Byun wanted me that bad, I want him to have a serious talk where he doesn’t run away from me before explain it thoroughly” You said before you continue your walk.

To your surprise, the man suddenly walk in a faster pace than yours, before he stopped right in front of you, blocking your path. “Even a protection” he said, with a confident smile on. It’s like he’s trying to confront and reassure you in the same time.

“Just what kind of protection you’re talking about here, Sir?” you said as you rolled your eyes.

“The kind that you might need in a near future” he said.

The fatigue slowly getting over you. You can’t help but doze off several times. It’s been 2 days straight since you barely sleep. Coffee is not even a solution at this point.

Mina, your colleague can’t help but noticed it. She chuckled lowly, careful not to surprise you. “Please go home and take some rest, I’m concerned” she said to you.

Hearing his voice jolt you awake. You look around, with a dumbfound look on your face. Nara laughed at that. “Yes, I’m talking to you y/n” she said.

Suddenly, the door to your office was opened, forcefully to be exact. You and Nara immediately stood up. The familiar face of the intruder makes you can’t help but roll your eyes. “What can I help you with, Mister CEO?” You asked, emphasizing on Mister CEO.

Baekhyun chuckled before he walk towards you. “I don’t know, perhaps I want to take you out for dinner?” He said with a sly smirk on.

Your eyes immediately shoot at Nara. She look very surprise, no wonder. “Please don’t mind him, he’s like that” you said to her. Despite your words, she still look as surprise as ever.

You turned your focus towards Baekhyun again. You look at him, like trying to find something behind his expression. You can’t help but sigh. “Since you are persistent, then sure” you said as you packed your bag.

“Oh? What is this? What’s with the change of mind? I’m scared!” He said teasingly while bending down to reach your height, his face searching for yours.

You stood straightly which shut him up. “Do you want me to go or not?” You asked. “I haven’t sleep for two days straight, so this better be quick” you said.

Suddenly out of nowhere, he grab a hold of your hand. This, truly bewildered you. You look back and forth between him and Nara. You were struggling to let his grip on you go. “Excuse me! I can walk by myself!” You said to him as you continue struggling.

His only respond was a sheepish smile.

“Thank you” you said to the waiter as he placed the pasta you ordered on the table. He bow slightly to you before he served other customers.

“So… what were you trying to say?” You asked Baekhyun, who sat in front of you, before you took a bite of your pasta.

“I’ve been offering you a job for the past few months yet you keep rejecting me” he said. “No one reject my offer!” He whined.

You chuckled. “Well, I do, I’m enjoying my job as a public attorney” you said. “Beside, the person who you make to keep following me, is not an official employee, how am I supposed to trust him?” You added.

“How do you know?” He asked, curiosity peeking in.

“Well, I’ve seen lots of people claiming to work for a company, only to have them actually work for the same boss, different business” you shrugged. “I know one when I see one” you added before you took another bite of your pasta

“That’s because he’s off-record” he said. Suddenly his tone was straight and serious. It took you off guard.

You put your fork and spoon down. Now all of these seems more shady, and that makes you questioning the man before you even further. You chuckled, halfheartedly, hoping it’d lighten the mood and make him chuckle too. The fact he didn’t makes you want to crawl under the table. “What do you mean by off-record?” You asked.

“Yes or no?” He asked.

“Baekhyun, this is all shady, how am I supposed to-“

“Yes or no?” He cut you off sternly.

You sighed. “Do I have to leave my job as public attorney?” You asked.

He scoffed. “For now? No” he said.

You looked down towards your food. Not knowing what to say nor to think. “Fine, Yes” you said, regretting it as soon as it escaped your mouth.

He suddenly stood up from his seat, his expression still stern as ever, and honestly, that sends a shiver down your spine. This serious side of him kind of scared you off, but at the same time, it’s charming.

“I’ll drive you tomorrow to the office” he said.

“No! Please don’t I can go by myself!” You quickly refused.

“Not your public attorney office, my office” he said.

“I think everyone knows where your office is” you chuckled.

He scoffed. “Not that office, sweetheart” he said.

“Please just send me the address?” You pleaded him.

“No” he said stubbornly.

“Fine” you gave up.

“8am, I don’t want to be late” he said before he left you alone, feeling awkward.

It was 5am. The paperworks that were piling on your desk keep you awake. This is a very not healthy way to live, but you feel extremely anxious every time you see the pile.

You sighed. You really want to take some rest, but Baekhyun will pick you up at 8am and he doesn’t want to be late, beside, his serious side still make you a frightened you a little bit. You can only hope he won’t be as serious today.

The idea of cold shower suddenly sounds interesting to you, to make you feel more awake. You decide you want to do some self-care time, and you had three hours to do it. And so you did. The smell of the rose body scrub on you somehow feels soothing. The smell of the mahogany teakwood candle that you lit before entering the shower hit your smelling sense, gives you a sudden wave of calmness.

As you dried yourself with a towel, the sound of your phone vibrating was heard. You immediately reached for it. Answering the call without even checking the caller.

“Hello?” You said to the other line.

No reply.

“Hello?” You said again. The feeling of creepiness and chill start pouring down your whole body.

This time, the sound of someone breathing was heard.

You stayed silent. Too stunned to say anything. Too scared, too afraid. The feeling of being so vulnerable start filling in.

“You are… very pretty” the man from the other line said, in a gentle and calm demeanor, that could only send even more chill throughout your body. “Look at those legs… oh the things I would do for them” he added, followed with a quiet chuckle that sounds sinister in your ear,

And just like that, the other line hang up the call.

You let out a breathe, gasping for air. You felt your throat tightened. Your chest falling and rising rapidly. Tightly, you held onto the sink. You can only feel panic and fear in your body.

For some reason, in time like this, only one name came out in your thoughts. The name that you wouldn’t expect to pop out when you are way calmer and in control.

“Baekhyun…. Baekhyun” you said between gasps. Your fingers immediately found their way to Baekhyun’s number.

It was early in the morning. And you felt hopeless. All kinds of dark and scary thoughts can’t help but filling your thoughts as you wait for Baekhyun to answer the call.

“Hello?” Baekhyun’s voice was heard from the other line. His voice woke you up from your thoughts.

“B-Baekhyun?” You stuttered.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” Baekhyun asked, immediately noticing the strangeness in your voice.

“Please, please come here right now, please, right now” you said weakly.

Baekhyun who was in his study immediately stood up from his seat. Reaching for the jacket that he hung on the back of his seat. He walked out of the room with his car key in hand. “Wait for me, I’ll be there”

“Please be fast” you said.

“Don’t hang up” he said.

“Okay” you said, in a quiet voice.

You reached for your pajamas, slowly wearing it. Not having the energy, you can’t help but slump to the floor.

“Baekhyun, please be fast” you said again, feeling restless without him by your side.

“I know, I’m not far, wait for me okay? Stay wherever you are” he said.

“Okay” you said in a quiet tone.

Fortunate for you, the sound of bell rings throughout your house and your phone 25 minutes into the call. “Is that you?” You asked Baekhyun as you sat up straighter.

“Yes, I’m here” he said.

“Okay, please wait for me” you said before you hang up the call. You immediately sprint towards the entrance door to your apartment.

As soon as the door was opened, familiar scent making its way throughout your nose. The familiar yet calming smell. The smell of some spices that made up the masculine cologne. You can’t help but immediately embrace the man before you.

Startled by your action, Baekhyun stood still for a moment, too taken aback to do anything. But then, he feel you jolting while embracing him. He felt your tears seeping through the thin t-shirt he was wearing. He immediately hug you back.

“Sweetheart, let’s get in for now okay?” Baekhyun suggested in a very gentle voice, too afraid to startled you.

You let go of him and nodded. “sorry, please come in” you said as you lead him to your coach. You tapped the empty space beside you, motioning for him to sit beside you.

He walked towards you and sat down on it. Carefully, he put an arm around you, not wanting to invade your personal space. Fortunate for him, you leaned into him. The warmth of his body calms you down for a bit in some way.

“You want to talk about it?” He asked as his hand that arounds you caress your arm. You can only shake your head, still too creeped out to talk about it.

He nodded and hug you tighter. He put his chin on top of your head. He promised to protect you, and he meant it, he will get back to whoever has done this to you.

“Y/n?” He called you out.

“Hm?” You hummed in reply.

“I… I don’t mean to invade your space, but do you want to stay in my place for some time?” He asked. He immediately realized how wrong that could sound. “No! I won’t do anything to you! It’s just-“

“I don’t want to be a burden to you” you cut him off as you looked up at him. The closeness between you was felt especially by Baekhyun. He can only gulped. He saw your eyes swollen and red, and he just… he doesn’t want to see you in this state ever again.

“No… you won’t be a burden to me y/n, ever” he reassured. His eyes staring right into yours. You felt the genuine emotion he felt and honestly speaking, that makes your heart beats faster than it should be.

“I… I would like that, I mean, if that won’t be a burden” you said shyly.

Baekhyun chuckled. Seeing the usually confident and intelligent woman before him now acting shy, the contrast makes Baekhyun feel giddy to know even more about you.

“Then packed your bag, I will help you” he said followed by a chuckle. You immediately jumped out from your seat to your bedroom, packing your clothes and the necessities.

Your eyes can’t help but wander. Baekhyun’s house is very spacious. It’s big, not exactly as big as a mansion that fantasies like make it to be for someone who held a CEO position, but it’s very spacious. Wood modern decorations decorates the house. The smell of Lavender & Cedarwood candle was filling the house, it’s a very calming scent, and now you know where Baekhyun got his scent from. His house has cozy setting overall. And you love it.

“Judging my house, aren’t we?” He teased. Your eyes went to him, flustered at him caught you in the act.

“Your house is very nice, very cozy” you complimented.

He smiled softly at your words. “Thank you, this is where I feel most comfort from” he said. “Oh! I’ll show you to your room” he said as he lead you to your room. You followed silently behind him, feeling slightly amused at a CEO bringing your things for you.

He put your things on the cushioned seat by the window in your room. You sat on the bed as you watch him do his things.

“Please, make yourself as home” he said as he walked towards the door. Your eyes can’t help but keep watching him.

“If you need anything, I’ll be in my study across your room” he added.

As his hand touched the handle of the door, the memory of things that just happened an hour ago suddenly flashing through your mind. Panic start filling in, replacing the sense of calmness that Baekhyun brought upon you.

“Please stay with me!” You said, before he can open the door. He froze up in his position. Slowly he turned around.

“You want me to be here?” He asked, eyes wide.

You closed your eyes, not being able to face him. “Please please, just for tonight” you begged.

Baekhyun’s worries start seeping in again. He let go of the handle and walked towards you.

“Lay down” he instructed gently. And you obeyed. You laid down and get into a comfortable position under the blanket.

He sat on the free space of the bed beside you. Gently, he run his fingers through your hair, slightly massaging your scalp

You tapped the space beside you that he didn’t sat on, motioning for him to lay down beside you.

“Are yous sure?” He asked.

You nodded. “Yes, please” you said.

“Okay” he answered before he get under the blanket and laid down beside you.

“What happened?” He asked. His voice full of concern.

You really didn’t want to tell him. Telling him means you have to relive the memory in some way. But you knew better, it’s a matter of sooner or later.

“An unknown number called me” you said shakily. The lump in your throat was making its way back. The previous fear and disgust starts to clouding your very existence. The burning sensation was making its way back into your eyes.

“At first, he was just breathing” you continued. “And then, he said, that I’m pretty, that my legs-“ you said between sobs. You can’t even continue your words, too disgusted to.

Hearing your explanation, Baekhyun was mortified as ever. He knows. He knows what this mean. And that mortified him even more. He pulled you into a hug, cradling your head into his chest, letting his very presence be your anchor for you to feel a sense of calmness.

“I’m here, you’re safe now” was the last word you heard he said before exhaustion took over you and took you to the dreamland.

For some time, Baekhyun watched as your breathes getting more even and calmer. He watched as your muscle slowly relaxed. He can’t help but smile softly, the sound of your breathing was the thing that sent him to the dreamland along with you, with you, in his arms.

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cosmicdaya · 6 years ago

Text

sangria wine | tom holland | part 1

{summary} : based on a dialogue prompt : “i didn’t know you could sing like that” + some cool summer spy stuff

{warning} : swearing, sexual mentions

{word count} : 1752 words

{pairing} : tom holland x reader

{requested} : this was made for @madmadmilk ‘s 5k celebration! go and drop by her blog!!! (this is so fucking late but you know this was sitting in my drafts for so long)

{type of story} : series

{continuation} : (part 1) (part 2) END

{author’s note} : hey i will update look-alike, love again after finishing this two part series!

( drop an ask to be added to my taglist )

You tapped impatiently on your knee as you blasted your favorite song in your earbuds. You and the man in front of you grew furious as honks were coming from all directions in the busy highway. Letting out a soft sigh, you pressed your fingers against your temples to ease the headache that was now growing.

The man in front of you signaled the driver to move faster to the destination. He looked at you and placed a hand on top of yours. His curls fell over his eyes as he looked at you.

“Everything is going to be alright Y/N and don’t worry. I am very sure that this mission is going to be a success,” he spoke in a soft whisper, as though his voice was supposed to comfort you.

“After these 10 years of me working for you, that’s all you can say?” you cocked your head to the side.

“You can think of this as a new experience,” he ran a hand through his curls. “anyways it’s not somebody that you don’t know.”

“That’s the problem, Ben!” your tone increased, startling Ben in front of you. He turned away and glanced at the road in front of him.

In the sweltering heat, you lied back in your seat and slowly drifted back to sleep.

“Yeah Z, I am going to leave London for awhile. Oh, I am going to France. I was going to meet my cousin there,” you balanced your phone in between your ear ad your shoulder as you threw your clothes into your luggage bag.

“Jeez, that’s unfair! How are you able to go on a vacation while I am stuck here acting like a secretary for an old idiot?” you chuckled at the exasperation of her voice.

“Hey, I finished my mission last week and I deserve this,” you reasoned with her as you zipped up your bulging luggage bag.

“Bye, Y/N, duty calls,” Zendaya ended the call as you dropped your phone on your bed. You dressed up and got ready to leave your house.

You smile triumphantly at the thought of the relaxing vacation awaiting you.

“The only thing stopping me now is,” you paused, wanting to say that it was a plane ride, “a phone call from Ben?”

You picked up your ringing phone and placed it to your ear.

“Hey, Y/N, can you get in the black car that is parked to your right?” you turned to see a sleek black Audi and walked towards it.

You were confused because Ben always had a calm voice but now he sounded nervous and tensed up. Whatever the matter was, you knew it was very serious.

“Oh yes, good morning Agent Rose,” Ben greeted you as soon as you got into the car. Agent Rose was your code name and Ben usually used it if you were on a mission or if there was an upcoming one.

“Ben, what is,” even before you could ask, he interjected, “Driver, can you please drive to the hotel?”

The driver gave him a small nod and stepped on the accelerator. You were confused and gave Ben a strange look.

“What’s going on? Don’t tell me you booked a hotel for me at France. No, wait, that would be too kind of you,” you crossed your arms.

“You packed a swimsuit, right?”

You woke up to someone shaking you and you saw Ben. You scowled at him and got out from the car. You inhaled a sharp breath as you saw the marvelous structure of the Five Seasons Hotel.

Ben led you in and you had to hold in your gasp when you saw the decor of the hotel. The soft golden light from chandeliers gave an ethereal look to the hotel and the couches were designed to make the guests feel more at home.

You felt a little underdressed as you were only wearing a crop top, a jacket and a pair of black leggings. You opted for this outfit as the weather today was very hot.

Ben gave his details to the receptionist as you felt relaxed in the cold air-conditioned lobby of the hotel.

You stepped into the elevator as you slightly drummed your fingers against your thigh. Ben opened the door and you slid your bag over to the side and plopped yourself on the bed.

“Careful on the bed Y/N,” you heard a voice and you craned your neck to see a familiar face in sight. You smiled widely as you saw Kate at the door, kissing Ben’s cheek.

Kate is Ben’s girlfriend and they have together for more than 2 years. She also is super secret agent like Ben and you sometimes go out for dinner with her.

“You know, you are supposed to be setting a good example for youths, like me. I don’t think this is appropriate,” you said teasingly, as Kate chuckled.

“Well, I guess that they are setting a very good example,” a deep voice sent the chills down your spine. You turned to see Tom standing by the bathroom with his arms crossed as a towel hung loosely on his hips.

You let your eyes run over his body and as your eyes starts to travel south, Kate clears her throat. You peel your gaze away from him and focus on the ugly vase beside the shelf to divert your attention.

“Okay, first of all, I am obliged to tell you the reason why I brought you guys here,” Ben clasped his hands together, “ and for the love of God, Tom can you at least wear a shirt?”

“With no pants?” Tom smirked at you and looked up at Ben.

Kate retrieved a Glock from the nearest drawer and pointed it at Tom who was now startled by her sudden demeanor.

“You better get your ass in there before I put a bullet through your head,” she responded, her stance unwavering. You stared at shock as Tom grabbed his shirt and literally ran to the bathroom.

Kate set down her gun on the table as she sighed softly. “I am sorry about Tom’s behavior, he’s always been like that ever since I took under me,” she smiled softly at you. You shook your head and looked up at her.

“Oh don’t worry, Kate, I know. Surviving with him could be a real bitch,” you gave her a reassuring smile, but instead was met with a confused one.

“You knew him before this?”

“Yes,” you hesitated, “but I would prefer not to talk about that.”

She pursed her lips into tight line and Tom walked into the room at the same time. You felt the bed drop as he sat on it. You breathed the strong smell of his cologne and you felt like you could get lost in it. Mentally slapping yourself, you decided to get back on track.

“So, in this mission, we have a drug cartel in our hands, and so far we have caught every single member in that ring but not the leader,” Ben started.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. When the members of a drug ring are caught, it would be quite easy to catch the leader. There is no need to enlist the help of even a spy.

Both you and Tom looked at each other, clearly having the same thought in mind. Kate seemed to understood that and said “Unfortunately, he has been escaping the police and the spies by travelling from one country to another. Clearly, he has been using fake identities to mask himself from authorities,”

“He is having a pool party today and we managed to get invitations, disguised as potential investors for his hotel business,”

“HELL YEAH, POOL PARTY!,” Tom pumped his fists in the air prompting Kate to tape his mouth with duct tape.

“So, who is this guy anyways?” you asked, relieved that Tom has finally stopped talking.

Ben showed you a picture of a man in his forties who certainly looked like a businessman. You knew that was a facade to mask his drug cartel.

“If you guys are going and have the invitations to the party, why do you guys need us? Is it for surveillance?”

“Who even said that we were going?” Ben and Kate chuckled in sync.

Your eyebrows raised in revelation as you finally understood what was going on.

“NOOOO!” both you and Tom shouted in unison, clearly who had taken his duct tape off.

“You will be going as Mr Sam Wilson and Miss Anna Wilson. According to the information given, you both are engaged and will get married in 2 months. Now, let’s get ready for your mission,” Ben said nonchalantly as he pulled Tom out of the room with him.

You plopped on your bed and craned your head to see Kate sorting through your luggage bag to make sure you have the correct attire to wear.

This fucking sucks, you thought to yourself.

You will never ever forget the day you first met Tom and it was both a exhilarating and bitter experience.

“Hey Kate, do I really need to be on this mission? You know, if not this mission, I could be on a flight to my dream vacation,” you sigh.

Kate shook her head and gave you a hug as she patted your head.

“It’s all going to be all right, honey,” she gave some reassurance.

After 10 minutes, Tom appeared in front of your room’s door with a grumpy face alongside Ben.

“Here are your comms and they are waterproof so that even if you go to the pool the signals won’t be affected,” Ben handed the devices to us.

You attached the device as Ben and Kate gestured you both to go out and go to the new car for your mission.

After you sat in the car, you heard Ben speaking through the comms and ensure that there were no problems in communications.

Tom slid in the key to rev up the engine and you turned your head to see Kate and Ben following in a black van.

So much for secrecy...

You reached for the switch to turn the radio but as soon it was turned on, Tom turned it off.

This little piece of shit, you thought to yourself.

You plugged in your earphones and glanced out the window to entertain yourself and eventually you fell asleep.

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eightpoundsofhair · 7 years ago

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Lapidot Week Day 2

Hello!

This is my day two sumbission for the lapidot week!

You can read it below or here on AO3

@lapidot-week

Peridot was a reasonable person. She did not jump to conclusions, she did not make assumptions based on faulty data, and she absolutely did not believe in such childhood paranoias as the paranormal. She was a scientist, after all. At least, she prided her self in being a master at the scientific method. No self respecting person of such poise as herself believed in such silly things as ghosts, or monsters, or witches.

So Peridot assured herself that she must be falling ill. That was the only viable conclusion to what she has just seen, and what her brain was concluding.

Peridot found herself leaning against her now closed door, her heart pounding and breathing erratic. She brought a shaky hand up to her forehead, and tried to determine if she had a temperature. She grumbled to herself at her seemingly normal body heat. She began to rack her brain for other symptoms of illness, headache, nausea, chills, sore throat. She found herself even more frustrated when all of the symptoms she thought of were not present in her person.

She shook her head, as she slid down her door, her heart beat obnoxiously pounding against her chest.

There had to be another conclusion.

When was the last time she read one of the Harry Potter books? She struggled to come up with a date, but figured it must have been some time last year. Unlikely.

Had she been watching conspiracy theory videos again? No, she had banned herself from doing so after getting into a fight about the moon landing online-which very much so happened by the way. Besides, she never really liked those too much anyways.

Peridot grumbled to herself again, shaking her head in her hands.

No. Her roommate was not making cups fly into the cupboards from their place in the dishwasher. She was not rinsing off a dish in water that floated above the sink. She was not sitting on the kitchen floor with towels, and pots, and pans, and dishes floating across the room. This wasn't how her roommate did her half of the chores.

Peridot chuckled to herself. This was a dream, obviously. It seemed so silly that she haven't figured it out sooner. She couldn't wait to wake up and tell her grumpy roommate about her bizarre dream.

She waited patiently, and ignored how detailed her dream room was.

Peridot grumbled after a few minutes passed, standing up and angrily kicking her bed, before regretting it, doubling over in pain at her stubbed toe.

"Goddamnit!" She exclaimed as she hopped around her room.

She let herself fall down onto her bed. She started up at the ceiling as she rubbed on her toes, the pain starting to cease.

No. It can't be real.

A knock sounded on Peridot's bedroom door, and Peridot jumped up, startled.

"Come in!" She shouted, as she sat up straight, and the door flung open.

"You okay?" Peridot's roommate, Lapis, asked, walking into the room with her hands in the pockets of her baggy, stained jeans.

Peridot nodded slowly, "Why?" She asked narrowing her eyes, pondering if Lapis knew what she had seen.

Peridot corrected herself, Lapis couldn't have known because what she had seen wasn't real.

Lapis shrugged, "Heard you scream, wanted to make sure you didn't die,"

"How considerate of you, Lazuli,"

Lapis laughed, "Yeah, I'm thoughtful like that." she walked over to a Peridot and sat down next to her on Peridot's small bed, "But seriously though, what happened?"

Peridot shrugged, embarrassed, "Stubbed my toe," she confessed.

Lapis chuckled, and swung her feet out in front of her, preparing to leave. Peridot grabbed onto her skinny arm, stopping her.

"What's up, Dot?" She asked, turning her head back. Peridot rolled her eyes at the nickname but brushed it aside, needing to ask Lapis about what had happened.

"Lapis," Peridot's voice strained, "Do you believe in magic?"

Peridot felt wildly embarrassed at first, as Lapis started at her with a blank face. But, after a moment Lapis's expression fell, and her eyes darted across the room in paranoia.

"Do you believe in magic?" Lapis asked with a forced laugh, looking away from Peridot.

"Of course not," Peridot insisted, embarrassed again for asking such a stupid question. She however, noticed Lapis's nervous looks dissipate after Peridot shot down the idea, and she began to become curious, "You didn't answer my question though,"

Lapis coughed, "What question?"

"Do you believe in magic?" Peridot insisted. As Peridot asked, Lapis's eyes darted across the room.

Lapis chuckled nervously once more, "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious," Peridot shrugged.

Lapis stared into Peridot's eyes for a long while, and Peridot felt herself blush, uncomfortable with the situation and feeling incredibly stupid, Lapis's dart of eyes and uncomfortable looks were because she was confused as to why someone so logical would ask something so stupid.

Lapis let out another uncomfortable chuckle, scratching the back of her neck, "I don't know,"

Peridot starred at Lapis expectantly, not convinced by her answer. The longer the silence lasted the more Peridot convinced herself that Lapis could preform some type of magic. Peridot quickly placed a hand on her forehead again, which once again was of a normal temperature.

Lapis scratched the back of her neck again, looking away, "I should go,"

She made to stand up, and once again Peridot grabbed her arm, and pulled her back down so she sat on Peridot's tiny bed.

"Lapis, I need you to answer me honestly. I promise I won't freak out or make fun of you,"

Lapis stared into Peridot's eyes again, her expression like a deer in the headlights. She let out another uncomfortable laugh as she stood up, "I really have to go now, Peridot,"

"Lapis!" Peridot followed Lapis out of her bedroom and down the hall, she was met with Lapis's bedroom door slamming closed. She knocked on the wood a few times, angry at the lack of an answer, but she soon gave up. She stomped over to her room and sat back down in her bed.

And that's how Peridot found herself awake at two in the morning writing a frantic blog post about her magical roommate.

She had worked herself into a state of near panic, and she couldn't talk herself out of Lapis being a witch.

She spent another hour doing research, and she found other accounts of people knowing witches who could use telepathy and teleportation, among many other things. She wanted to press Lapis further, but was convicted she'd come off as crazy, and loose her roommate whom she admired so much incredibly quickly.

She threw herself dramatically onto her bed, frustrated and exhausted, and tried to go to sleep.

When Peridot awoke that morning Lapis has made her breakfast, an odd and unusual gesture. Peridot gladly accepted however, tired after getting little sleep over the course of the night, begging too caught up in her thoughts to get much rest.

Lapis was silent through breakfast, and she quietly took Peridot's plate when she was finished and washed it at the sink. Peridot tried to casually watch Lapis do it, trying to act as if she wasn't intensely stating at Lapis's every move to see if the plate would float back into the cupboard.

Instead, Lapis finished washing the plate, and turned to meet Peridot's eyes. They stayed like that for a few moments before Lapis made an uncomfortable expression and walked away, rubbing her temples.

Peridot flushed, worried that her staring came off as creepy. She got some unpleasant memories of when the pair had first moved in together. A time in which Peridot learned that she couldn't not function well around pretty girls without forcing herself to not stare. She felt heavily embarrassed and she drafted a "sorry for staring at your boobs I am very gay and not used to this situation" card in her mind.

As the week went on, Lapis continued her kind gestures. Cleaning the bathroom when it was not her turn, taking out the trash unasked, vacuuming Peridot's bedroom, and the rest of the house, while Peridot showered. It was very odd, and Peridot was suspicious.

Strange things continued to happen as well. A plate that Lapis dropped and broke was mysteriously fixed and held together on its own the next day. An assumed dead house plant brought back to life. Peridot's lost hoodie, which she swore got left at the museum, returned to the laundry room after Peridot had been complaining about it.

Peridot's single frantic post about her possibly magic roommate turned into a series. A weekly "here's the weird ass shit that's happening in my house that my pretty roommate is probably doing" update.

Peridot felt like she was going mad as Lapis continued to walk on eggshells around her. The odd events were always pressed by Peridot, arguing adamantly that something weird was happening and questioning Lapis about it. Lapis tended to shrug it off, and made sure to be extra nice to Peridot the next day.

Suddenly, the stick hung prettily above Lapis's door was not merely aesthetic, but a magic wand. Or the crystals and old books that littered Lapis's room were no longer just collections, but magical items.

Peridot clicked her pen, sitting at her desk on a cloudy October day.

She prided herself on being logical, on being incredibly intelligent and a master at the scientific method. She was reasonable, and based conclusions on data, not fantasies.

She scribbled into her notebook, writing a list of evidence to conclude that Lapis was a witch.

Initial viewing of floating plates.

Suspicious behavior.

Fixing of broken things immediately.

Stereotypically "witchy" things in Lapis's room.

Refusal to talk about magic.

She read through her list, and added a few more observations before she flipped to a new page.

She titled it 'experiment number one'.

#lapidot #lapidot halloween week #my writing

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junker-town · 5 years ago

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Every reason Victor Oladipo is Thingamajig on ‘The Masked Singer’

Thingamajig on The Masked Singer is totally an NBA star.

We don’t need any more clues to figure out who Thingamajig is on “The Masked Singer”.

The Masked Singer is back for Season 2 in what I believe is actually a fever dream but I keep experiencing it while I’m awake. If you haven’t seen the show yet, it’s a singing competition like American Idol or The Voice, except celebrities are singing while hiding behind the most ridiculous identities and costumes one could ever imagine. It feels like constant hallucination while you watch.

The show is “judged” by Jenny McCarthy, Ken Jeong, Robin Thicke, and Nicole Scherzinger who for better or for worse add to the strangest but best show on television.

Each week we’re given new clues to help us guess the contestant like a weird game of Guess Who. Then at the end of each episode, one contestant is voted off and that is when their true identity is revealed.

But I don’t need any more clues to tell you that I am 100 percent certain that Victor Oladipo is on the show, performing as Thingamajig. That’s a real sentence I just typed.

Here is my evidence: Oladipo is actually a great singer (he dropped an album last year) and you can tell it’s his voice just by listening. If that’s not enough I’ll give you the clues, why they match him, and an update on how he’s been performing as he reaches the Final 9 of the competition.

Week 1: “Easy” by the Commodores

Clues we were given:

1. Magic - This is the team that drafted him 2. Pace - He currently plays for the Pacers 3. Sneakers - Well, he plays basketball 4. Star Wars and a cupcake with the No. 4 on it - So he was born on May 4th, you know the Star Wars day. It’s also his basketball number.

Performance Review:

His voice is so soulful and smooth and it really shocked the judges. They definitely know he’s an athlete and were pretty blown away by how well he could sing. Oladipo is so chill in real life and it really came through while pretending to be a green monster mascot. I think he’s going to win people over in that costume just like he does in real life. This show is bonkers.

Judges Guesses: Michael Strahan, Dennis Rodman

youtube

Week 2: “Rainbow” by Kacey Musgraves

Oladipo singing Musgraves’ Rainbow while dressed as a Thingamajig? This is actually the best fever dream and I never want it to end. This song has such a wonderful meaning, the lyrics are emotional, he sounds fantastic, and now I’m emotional.

Clues we were given:

1. Says he felt like a feather: “Feathery” is Oladipo’s slogan and clothing line 2. He doesn’t run with the Bulls - This may be because the Bulls are division rivals 3. He still likes Magic - I hope this isn’t a sign he wants to go back to Orlando at this point 4. Said he had a rehab stint- Oladipo missed most of last year with a knee injury

Performance Review:

He made the crowd and the judges cry because he was so good. People had actual tears while watching Oladipo sing with monster hands and hipster glasses with two eyes that aren’t the same size. He’s clearly a favorite by the judges this season but I have a small fear that his performances are so low key, it could come back to haunt him against other contestants who are a bit more ... extravagant. Only time will tell.

Judges Guesses: LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Montell Jordan

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Week 3: “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” by The Temptations

After two long weeks away from the show due to the World Series, we are finally back with more Thingamajig. While we were away, Oladipo was asked during a Pacers broadcast about the show and this was his answer: “I keep getting a lot of that lately. I don’t even watch the show … The guy sounds pretty good, though.” It’s definitely him and he’s a bad liar.

Clues we were given:

1. American Sign Language Dictionary: His oldest sister is deaf and he’s learned sign language to communicate with her

Performance Review:

Well, judge Nicole Scherzinger is in love with Thingamajig. She has declared him her future husband and said “I don’t even need to know who he is, I love him already.” So there is that. Congrats to Vic if this also gets him a life partner.

His voice sounded incredible once again and he went with a more uptempo song this time, which I was hoping for! But he doesn’t move around or dance much on the stage and I’m not sure if that’s because he injured his leg last year or because he’s standing in a seven-foot-tall green monster costume. Either way, I’m still a little nervous he’s being too chill despite the great voice.

Judges Guesses: Montell Jordan, Tony Parker, Dennis Rodman and Ronnie DeVoe

youtube

Week 4: “Haven’t Met You Yet” by Michael Buble

It’s been an entire month since Fox had Thingamajig on the show. I’m not sure if that’s some sort of scheduling thing or they’ve rigged it. I don’t care either way, it means we have better chance of Victor freaking Oladipo winning this thing. And song choice! I love it.

Clues we were given:

1. He suffered a setback lately: His knee injury 2. He told Nicole she’d always be his “2nd pick”: Oladipo was picked No. 2 overall in the NBA draft 3. His clue package also had a record: He recently recently a studio album 4. And finally, he had a note about Maryland: That’s where Oladipo is from

Performance Review

Every concern I had about his past performances was washed away here. His personality is finally coming through that massive monster costume and he’s sounding better than ever. I’m really writing serious performance reviews about Masked Singer. Help me.

#ThingamajigMask is looking for a Date-a-Majig with this sweet performance! #TheMaskedSinger pic.twitter.com/B3iSoF7qIS

— The Masked Singer (@MaskedSingerFOX) December 5, 2019

The judges are just mostly concerned about his future with Nicole Scherzinger.

Week 4 Battle Round: “Caught Up” by Usher

WE ARE HITTING OLADIPO’S STRIDE NOW. OUR BOY IS CRUSHING THIS WHOLE THING. THE DUDE GOT PUT INTO A COMPETITION AND TURNED ON THE JETS AND SENT MICHELLE WILLIAMS FROM DESTINY’S CHILD HOME. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS I AM TYPING.

THIS SHOW IS BONKERSVILLE.

#ThingamajigMask isn't about to get caught up with nerves. Check out this cool and confident SMACKDOWN performance! #TheMaskedSinger pic.twitter.com/dE3NdPkI8p

— The Masked Singer (@MaskedSingerFOX) December 5, 2019

Is he going to win this whole thing? Please let it happen.

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if-one-of-us-falls · 7 years ago

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My First Week Of School

By the advice of the lovely @procrastiplanning I’m giving my 100 days of productivity (tagged #karins100days, in case you wanna check them out) a break and trying out a new method of journaling and tracking my productivity and over all life: weekly updates. (I’m going to tag them #karinsweeklies). Let’s get started!

A week ago I entered my final year of high school and let me tell you, this has been one of the longest weeks of my life. I already feel nervous and a little sleep deprived and also excited and also emotional.

In terms of school I’ve been doing okay so far. I had some trouble getting all my textbooks on time, but that’s okay. I love my biology class and can’t wait for chemistry to get serious. The rest of my classes (except math, but we’ll get there later) are pretty boring and easy. This year is going to be filled with projects, labs etc. in addition to my usual test and finals so I’m already working on some of those. The only new teacher I have this year is my chemistry teacher. I really like him so far and honestly everything is an improvement after last year’s teacher who was a complete mess. The new guy is nice and young and fresh out of teaching school and looks like he knows what he’s doing. (This doesn’t have anything to do with this post, but he is also married to a man and told us about it and I was a little proud of my class for not being shitty about it.) So anyway I’m really looking forward to chemistry this year. I’m doing okay in math so far. It’s my weakest subject and definitely the hardest class I’m taking. Math caused me way too much stress and pain last year so one of my goals for this year is to be chill about my classes this year, to do my best but not get so emotional about my failures. oh, well. Even though I’ve been doing fine, an incident during my math lesson on Thursday kinda broke me. My teacher gave us a problem to solve and for some reason called it an “intelligence test”. It was quite simple but for some reason my brain couldn’t cooperate and I didn’t manage to solve it in the 5 minutes she gave us. After that the teacher personally asked me if I failed, and when I answered honestly she gave me this really disappointed look. I know she probably didn’t mean to hurt me but I felt really humiliated and was on the verge of tears. I managed to go on with my day somehow but when I got home I cried a river. It makes no sense but I’m incredibly sensitive when it comes to my ‘intelligence’ and especially math.

As for my health, I haven’t been doing so well. My nutrition has been really crappy lately (I think it’s a result of all that school stress) and I only went to the gym once in the entire week. I had 2 p.e. classes but they’re not very intensive. I felt sick last Monday and I’m still not feeling great. My sleep schedule is... not great, but getting better. And I feel like I’ve been spending way too much time on social media.

I still don’t have a job and it’s stressing me out. I’ve been trying to promote myself as a tutor but can’t find any clients yet. I hope I can get a job soon because driving lessons are expensive as heck.

Social life? What is social life? jk, I see my friends in school and we hang out there as much as we can but I don’t really do anything out of my cramped little introverted comfort zone after school. Another thing I need to improve. I love my friends but I also feel like my friendships are a little shallow and it’s so easy to drift apart.

Art is a tricky one. I almost didn’t draw or paint at all recently and I feel guilty about it but I don’t really have the urge to make art anymore. It usually wakes up when I have more pressing things to do (I never made as much art as I did during my last finals period). I didn’t do a lot of actual writing (finishing the first draft of my novella is one of my goals for September) but I did plan and brainstorm quite a lot for other stories.

Overall, I’m not exactly in a happy place yet, but I’m still going to try and get there.

This has been a rant! Kudos if you kept reading until the end. I wish you all a beautiful and productive year!

#studyblr #studyspo #karins100days #karinsweeklies #procrastiplanning #rant #senior year #grade 12 #new school year #back to school #life #personal

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fantasies-from-nami · 8 years ago

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Split - Kai Scenario. Part 1

Summary: You have a perfect life. A perfect little house, perfect little son who just went to Kindergarten for the first time and finally your more than perfect husband, whom you love more than your life. Of course that was three weeks ago. Before your husband decided to leave the family.

Word Count: 2976

A/n: I’m finally uploading my new series. This has been in my drafts for almost a year and I’m finally ready to show it to everyone. Any kind of reviews (even just a word) is welcome as always <3

MY MASTERLIST

(For mobile)

When the alarm wakes you up you don't even need to open your eyes to know that it's still dark outside. But you have to get up right away. Even if it's cold and the bed seems more inviting that ever. Your bedroom is illuminated only by streetlight, until you finally reach for flip the switch on the wall.

The sudden brightness blinds you temporarily and you keep rubbing your eyes, while searching for something warm to wear. You've been extremely cold lately. And you know it has nothing to do with the fall rolling over. Neither can you warm yourself with a sweatshirt or hot tea, which you still choose to drink seated by your kitchen island.

The house is quiet. No noise is coming from the television, no clashing comes from the computer and no buzzing of the kitchen. It's just you. Drinking tea. Eyes drooping with sleepiness, but you can't go back to sleep.

Today is an important day for Tae. He'll be going on his first ever trip from kindergarten and he has been excited about it for months. Yesterday, before sleep, he very politely asked you to bake him his favorite cookies to go. Although you knew making the dough would take at least an hour and would have to be chilled overnight, you couldn't refuse. You have a feeling that Tae wants to impress a pretty girl he's been sending smiles to quite frequently lately. And you can't let your son's hopes and expectations down.

It's already bright when the cookies are ready to be served. But this time you've managed to iron Tae's clothes, send the used ones to the washing machine, clean the kitchen and feed the little puppy running around in the house. Sometimes you're also impressed in what you learned to do over the time.

Soon you hear the door open somewhere in the house and in a few seconds your little boy is walking towards you, rubbing his eyes. He looks the cutest when he's like this. Sleep hasn't left his body yet and somehow, with his warm pajamas, he looks even fluffier. You can't hold back and hurry to him, before scooping him in your arms and kissing every inch of his face.

"Good morning, Mommy." he manages to warm your heart even more.

"Good morning, sweetie." you try to tame his hair. "So how was sleeping without a nightlight on?" It was the first time you managed to persuade your son to turn off his bedside lamp. You know he's still so small, but his brace act is definitely important.

Tae rubs his neck under his ear. A nervous gesture you've mostly familiar with from another person. It's amazing how much Tae can be exactly like him.

"I turned it on after you left." Your son confesses. He's looking down and you know he's embarrassed but most of all, you're once again struck by his honesty.

"Don't be shy, sweetheart." you coo, while hugging him closer to your chest. "It's your lamp, so you can sleep with it if you want." You notice Tae is still not looking at you. "You know, I used to sleep with a light on even when I was in university. There's nothing embarrassing about not liking darkness."

At this his eyes light up and you know he doesn't feel bad anymore. Suddenly he sniffs and it's clear that he can smell the cookies spread to cool on kitchen table.

"Mom, you actually made them?" he practically yells, already running to grab a bite.

"Of course I did. Didn't you ask for them?" Tae's face shows true happiness and you know he's thinking about all his friends he can share the cookies with.

Although he doesn't know how you had to deprive yourself of sleep to make his wish come true. And you’re glad. Tae doesn't even go to school yet, but you can feel that he understand so much more that kids his age. Maybe it's for the best for the children not to know about how much their parents’ compromise and sacrifice to ensure their kids' happiness. It's absolutely unconditional and that is exactly why it's so beautiful to be a parent. Four years ago you wouldn't have thought you'd be able to completely forget about yourself for the sake of another person.

And while you watch your son devour his favorite sweets for breakfast, you're painfully reminded of your current situation. But, to be honest, does the horrific coldness ever leave your body?

You’re alone everything tells you.

He's probably sleeping in an apartment he rented.

After he left you.

An unpleasant shiver makes its way down your spine. He left you. He left the house. He's sleeping somewhere else right now. Away from his family and home.

But unfortunately, you're not sure whether he still calls this house his home or not.

And suddenly you're once again grateful that Tae doesn't blame you for everything.

The doors of the bus aren't even fully open when Tae jumps out and runs to meet his teacher and classmates. You follow and politely greet the teacher and fellow parents. You've managed to make friends among them, but looking around you're reminded that most of them are older, lonely housewives, looking for drama to discuss over a cup of coffee. And you're scared that they can see right through you. That they know who you really are. A woman whose husband left her. A woman so intolerable that he husband decided to live away from his child too. You can actually hear their voices whispering in your head and you wonder who's the one pressured by school and friends - your son or you. You realize that cold shiver never has left your body.

Tae makes his way over to you and you know what he'll ask before he voices it.

"Why isn't daddy here?"

You're afraid of that question. You're also afraid that maybe some other moms heard too. But more so you're scared of how much your son is probably hurting right now. "He promised he's come when I called him yesterday." Tae's voice is getting weaker by the second and so is your heart. Jongin also left you with another great responsibility which is trying to not let your son's heart be broken.

"I know, sweetheart." you start. "I called him and he told me to tell you he's sorry. Your dad is doing an important task at work and his boss doesn't want to let him go. He said he wishes nothing more than to see you go on your trip to zoo, but sadly can't." You know Tae is trying his best to stop the tears from coming. "Don't be sad, okay? Daddy will visit in the evening so you can tell him how you spent the day with animals, okay?" You truly try your best to make the situation less hurtful for everyone.

Tae smiles widely but you know the tears are there, hidden behind his round eyes.

"Of course." he says. "He should come after the trip when I can tell him all about the zoo. Why does it matter if he comes now, or not?" His smile is shining and somehow it hurts you even more.

You're absolutely numb by now.

Since it's a workday, the zoo isn't packed. Tae is in the terrarium right now and since the space is already tight inside, the parents decided to stay outside allowing the teacher to lead. You manage to get away from others to do something you're itching to do. But you're also scared too.

You're calling Jongin.

The lie you told Tae in the morning isn't a complete lie. You did call Jongin but he didn't answer. And you would have rather died than say that to your son.

Now it takes nine seconds for him to pick up. You counted. You take a deep breath because you know you'll hear his perfect velvety voice and you pray that he's didn't just wake up because that's when he sounds the most beautiful.

"Hello?" he asks and you almost curse. His voice is even huskier than you're used to. "You called in the morning?"

Suddenly you're angry. Because how dare he not remember the promise he made to your precious son.

"Are you kidding?" You ask. "I'm at the zoo right now and I how you're proud because Tae cried when you didn't show up."

There's silence and then you know he threw something on the ground. With force. And a lot of frustration.

"Shit, I... I completely forgot." There's silence again. "I was clubbing yesterday and I guess I drank too much. I'm so sorry." You know he is sorry. Even though he doesn't live with you anymore he's still the same amazing human being. Making mistakes.

"Since when do you go to clubs and since when do you drink?" You don't have your priorities sorted right now and you know it well. He seems to notice too.

"Since I felt like it?" Jongin forms it like a question and the tone makes you feel like you've crossed the line in to his private life. Then you remember there never used to be a line to start with.

"All I know is that Tae's waiting for you tonight." You tell him, still a little embarrassed.

"Ugh, tonight? I-"

"I don't care." you cut him off. "Jongin, your son cried because his dad forgot his first ever trip from school, no matter what you have planned, you own your son this night."

You both sigh.

And maybe both of you know why exactly you're saying these things. You want to see him. Need to see him. Even more than Tae maybe. You don't have to admit it.

"Of course." he murmurs. "Of course I'll come."

You've already cooked dinner and cleaned the house. Twice. Jongin usually gets off work during this time, so obviously you heart is already beating like crazy.

He doesn't usually visit this house anymore. Since he left three weeks ago all his dates with Tae have been somewhere outside. In a park. Fast Food restaurant. Bubble Tea shop, but never your home. You guess he doesn't feel comfortable here anymore. Cold shiver wakes up your numb body again.

You're made sure the food is tasty several times. The sauce for the chicken is as sweet as it is sour. The side dishes are perfectly aligned, symmetrically. But you don't dare bring the plates yet. You will admit it but only to yourself that you're anxious. If you put a plate for him, he'll think you did all of this to impress him, to maybe somehow remind him that it didn't always feel bad at home. He'll think you tried too much. And he'll be absolutely correct.

On the other hand, if you only serve two plates, for you and Tae, the chances of him feeling welcome will be tarnished.

So you decide on the safest option. You will leave the table as it is, as if you haven't finished at all. You know you've thought of a good plan, but the anxiety won't stop churning around in your belly. He's coming over to play with Tae. He's coming over. He's coming-

The bell rings.

Before you know it, your little boy is running to get the door and you can't even breathe properly, because now you've met with a scene of your husband hugging your child close to his heart. He keeps kissing Tae's head and you can definitely hear apologies leaving his mouth, because of what happened in the morning, but you know it's unnecessary. Tae couldn't forgive him, because he wasn't even mad in the first place.

That's how much he loves his dad.

You know Tae has already started his nonstop talking about his trip to the zoo, so you know it's your time to step in.

"Tae, come sit and then tell your story so your dad can understand, okay?" You smile at him and you wonder if Jongin knows that your words were rehearsed.

"We were just planning to eat dinner." you add. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah," Jongin nods. "I'll eat with you, guys." He says and picks up Tae to sit around the low table.

For now, you wish that Jongin's ability to see all right through you disappeared right when his love for you did.

You don't have to fake a smile, your family is finally eating around the same table again. And you must admit you heart clenched when Jongin took his regular seat, right at the head of the table.

He inhales everything you've given him, which makes you happy. Although he doesn't start a conversation with you, he talks continuously with Tae and keeps listening to his never-ending story about tigers and elephants.

An hour slips quickly and Tae excuses himself for the toilet. You smile at your son, but inside you feel like a teenager left all alone with her crush.

But Jongin isn't your crush.

He's your husband.

And he left you.

You keep looking around nervously and he starts playing with the food on his plate.

"It's tasty." he says, still not looking at you.

"I heard you're seeing someone." You respond.

You've been wanting to ask this for so long but the fear eating you out was stronger. What makes it worse is that you've heart it. From someone else. Meaning there are people talking about your current life. It's embarrassing to think that they know the truth.

"Yes, I am." He casually responds and you notice that he doesn't say it to spite you. To make you feel bad or hurt you. He just says is so casually like it's absolutely normal for him and it only makes the pain a hundred times more unbearable.

He's seeing someone else.

Another woman.

Someone who's not you.

And only one question leaves your mouth.

"Was she there while you were with me?" it seems important for you. It is very important.

"No, she wasn't." And you believe him. How can you not? Why would he lie if he's so easily saying things that are knives to our already damaged heart?

He left three weeks ago. Three weeks, four days and two hours ago.

To this day, you still feel like you're watching your life through a big screen. You feel like it's just some sort of twisted drama. You don't experience anything. You're confused, still not remembering clearly how he left. Why he left. What was the last stroke? Did he really hate everything so much?

Because all you've felt with him beside you was warmth and love.

So why did he choose a different path? Were you too harsh? Too inconsiderate? Did you not listen to him enough? Not make him feel loved? You're clearly still in the I wasn’t enough phase and you're doubting it'll ever end.

You doubt you'll ever believe he really left.

Your dreams or nightmares about waking up next to him only makes you feel like it's true.

Every single day has been nothing but tears and silent screams in your room, because you have to deal with all of it, while making sure your son is okay. Your life is ruining but even for once, you can't make yourself a priority.

"Where's Tae?" Jongin asks. "I have to leave, I wanna say goodbye." A single silent tear rolls down your cheek and you don't even have the energy to hide it. You can hear it drip down in the stew you spent hours making and it only makes the situation more heartbreaking.

You stay seated, while hearing Jongin tell your son that he has to leave now. Your eyes aren't focused, but your gazing on the spot where your first tear disappeared, while the rest are unceremoniously leaving your eyes.

You stay seated, but you can hear the desperation in Tae's voice as he begs his father to stay just a bit more. You don't look up as Jongin kisses his head and explains how he's so busy, so he has to sleep earlier.

You can't care about your form as Jongin looks over at you to say goodbye, but for some reason stops midsentence and leaves the house, not forgetting to hug Tae one last time.

It's painful.

You thought you were numb. You were numb, but this continuous pain wakes every muscle in your body and forces them to stay awake through your torture. You feel the warmth as Tae slips to sit between your legs, wipes your tears and hugs you. His shaking form makes you realize how hard he's crying and once again you've forgotten about your pain and hug your son closer and search for any positive feelings inside your body and send them through him.

His shivering is slowly stopping as you continue to kiss his face and hum a loving lullaby in his ear. Your chest is dam from his tears and it breaks your heart over and over again to see your son in this state. In a state when you can't help him.

"Why doesn't dad love me anymore?"

How? How will you make your son believe that it's not his fault? How can you tell him that it's because of you? Because his dad couldn't keep living with his mom, so he left.

And keeps leaving.

Only now you realize that every single day when Jongin doesn't return home is adding pain to the your big, big jar. It never gets easier. Especially for Tae.

"Your dad loves you and wants to be with you." You say. "Don't forget that sweetheart."

It's late when Tae finally falls asleep in your arms. You hope he's happy at least in his dreams.

That night, you pray for the longest.

A/n: Anyway I hope you liked the beginning <3. This story is probably the most important for me because of reasons and I will seriously welcome any kind of reviews so please leave a word for me!^^

#exo #nami #nami's scenario #kai scenario #jongin scenario #exo scenario #exo fanfic #exo fanfiction #kai fanfiction #exo reactions #kai #kim jongin #kai fluff #kpop fanfiction #kpop scenario #fangirls #kpop fluff #bias scenario #kai reactions

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