#this has been a rough year for the community but must be really really fucking weighing on him specificat

[duodusk]

fuck its been rough

[rafedaddy01]

Part 2 for stalker

Y/n has spend the last few days just wanting to feel rafes thick length inside of her again

So a few days later his wife is taking longer than usual at work

Y/n thinks he is asleep

But he is wakes up when she pulls his d out of his boxershorts

but he thinks y/n is his wife

So hes just like :"You really missed me that much at work"

And he starts ramming inside of her

Y/n begging him to go harder to spank her

Which is weird to rafe cause his wife doesnt like it rough normaly but he does

Still he is c mming inside of her and not pulling out

Him falling asleep d still inside of her

Stalker - part 2

Summary: you are 18 years old and obsessed with Rafe Cameron - so you stalk him.

Pairing: 18yr!reader x Older!Rafe

18+, no minors

Warnings: stalking, dark content, smut, sorta noncon, (reader forces herself on rafe but he thinks it’s his wife), unprotected sex, p in v

What you read is up to you and you only you are responsible for what you come across and what you decide to keep reading despite the warnings. Please be respectful to my writing and all the other writes you come across in this community thank you

You didn’t think it would happen again. You didn’t plan on it happening again. But when you couldn’t sleep, dreaming of rafe fucking you, you knew you needed it to happen again.

So that’s how you found yourself standing inside his room again, peering over his body like some kind of psycho.

Watching him breathe as he slept.

You noticed his wife wasn’t here yet. Probably at work, or at least on her way home from work.

And by your stalking tendencies, you memorized the route she takes home from work, it’s usually the scenic one, which takes hers about 30-40 minutes to get home. So you had plenty of time.

You stripped fully naked and climbed on top of him.

Pulling his boxers down, but your breath hitched when two strong hands wrap around your wrists.

Your heart picks up pace, your breath shakes as you muster the courage to look up and accept your defeat.

“Mmm, hi honey. Missed me?” Your eyebrows scrunch in confusion. Was this some sort of sick game?

“Was work stressful?” Rafes voice is groggy and you notice his eyes aren’t fully opened yet, he’s still half asleep.

“Mmh” you mumble, playing along. You continued pushing his boxers down until he was fully erect and presenting himself to you. “Well go on then..” Rafe grumbled out with a satisfied smirk on his face.

You didn’t have to be told twice. Your sick fantasy was playing out perfectly. If rafe thought you were his wife then you’d damn sure play the part.

You gripped his base and stuffed him inside you. Both groaning at the feeling. “Shit baby, your really wound up. So tight-“ he grits, “must be really stressed” his fingers run up and down your hips, oddly soothing.

“Let me take care of everything” he flips you onto your back. The room is dark enough to where he can’t make out your face, so you let him maneuver you onto your back and he spreads your legs and shoves himself back inside you.

You immediately clench, gasping as his tip probes that sweet spot inside you.

His thrusts are slow, paced, not to fast and you crave more. “H-harder” you squeak out, “you sure?” He asks confused. “Yes! Please” you moan as you claw at his back.

He moves his hips faster. Rutting into you, balls slapping against your ass, “like this?” He pants against your ear. “Yes yes, oh god yes!” You moan out louder.

Rafes confused, but he doesn’t question it. He’s been asking his wife for months to try something a little tougher in the bed room, but she was never interested, so he’s just happy that ‘she’ finally agreed.

“C-can you… can you spank me, please” you mutter.

“Can i- what was that?” He laughs a little, thinking he didn’t hear correctly.

“I want you to spank me” you say it louder, screaming almost, adding a please at the end.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you, baby. But I like this side of you” he flips you over, pulling your hips up and thrusting back in.

His palm snaps forward, landing on your ass and making you jolt forward as you grip the sheets. “Again” you moan into the bed.

He slaps you again, and again. Thrusting into you harder and faster.

You’re so wet, the sound is echoing in the room and the sheets are soaking.

“Honey, I’m not gonna l-last much l-longer” Rafe moans behind you.

“Cum inside me” you moan out as. this angle lets him get deeper.

His tip is in your guts as you clench around him and feel the milky warmth of him filling you up.

He falls down behind you, his dick still deep inside you.

“I love you” he kissed your temple, “thank you for that, it was amazing” he lays back down and it’s not too long before you hear his soft snores and the sound of a car door closing outside. Shit.

Taglist

@f4ll-for-you @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx @spencerreidsrealgf @rafescokenostril @thievin-stealing @rafemotherfuckingcameron @dilvcv @starkeysheart @wearemadeofstardust0 @theoraekenslover @mema10

[offside-the-lines]

MattDrai Fic Recs

So @irrelevanttous and @puckthisshift sent me the ask meme prompt for "what my favorite Mattdrai fic is" and I went on a JOURNEY lemme tell ya. I ended up figuring out how to download my AO3 history (in which I discovered that in the last year, I've read like literally 50% of all the MattDrai fics ever written) to help me figure out what my faves were. So here are some (most? I hope?), split into categories.

General Faves:

head above water by yourblues (@msmargaretmurry) 🔒 (E, 91.1k) This might be one of the best pieces of RPF ever written; it's a classic. I have visited this fic literally 21 times. It has everything: stupidity, pining, incredible sex, falling for each other, also more stupidity. Chapter 6 literally rips my entire soul out every time. I think this fic permanently altered my brain chemistry. It's a perennial re-read.

only fools rush in by @bropunzeling 🔒 (E, 94.9k) This is another fic that is a Must Read for HRPF as a whole. The entire time, I just want to reach through the screen and wring both of their necks for being so incredibly dense. And I love everything about this, especially just the way it's written is so incredible.

Growing Into Someone by @blaahaj 🔒 (E, 46.5k) God, I love this fic so much, I come back to it all the time. I think this must've been one of the first Mattdrai works I read. But I just love how natural the initial tension is, and how inevitable their falling in love is, and how the climax happens and resolves is just so incredible.

Undo Falling for You by crookedsilence (@csblogs) 🔒 (T, 16.1k) This is an AU I guess? I put it in this section because it's Hanahaki, so like only kinda AU. Either way, I am obsessed with this! It is just emotionally perfect. Highly recommend.

rough dream? by reticent 🔒 (M, 7.2k) So, this fic is probably the most "out there" suggestion because of the warning (I'll get to that part) but this fic is literally the most perfect microcosm of what Mattdrai fics tend to have: pining, lack of communication, falling in love while being terrified of falling in love, etc. This is a time loop fic where Matthew is stuck in the time loop but it's told from the perspective of Leon. It is absolutely incredible. I think about this fic ALL THE TIME. The warning is for a suicide, but no "actual" character death because the time loop resets.

i'll tell you when to stop by dogjuice 🔒 (E, 39.6k) (McMattDrai) This is the real answer to 'what fic do you send people if they want to get into MattDrai'. I have sent this to so many people because it is perfect. Everything about this is perfect. Matthew's internal dialogue and his anxiety, and his perception of what's happening. The second half of the fic is so well-written and suspenseful. Something I feel it will give me a heart attack even though I've read it like 10 times.

Future Fics

Saving the Best for Last by @puckingtrash 🔒 (E, 100.1k) This is the fic that made me obsessed with Future Fics of current rivals. There's just a level of camaraderie and understanding that happens after that many years in the same league; it doesn't matter how much beef you had. And this fic is just so incredible. I love thinking about what these guys do after retirement. A must read IMO.

home by now by daisysusan (@hopetorun) 🔒 (E, 102.3k) Probably one of the best fics. I love the way this builds up and keeps you on edge. It really mirrors how Matty feels, just this general unease of knowing something is wrong but not knowing what. The laying of the pining with the hurt and confusion is just so well done.

back to where we lasted by @ohtemporas 🔒 (E, 34.4k) Trade fics are always so interesting with these two. Especially in the situation where they are exes. And one of them (Leon in this case) has fucked up greatly, and they need to figure out how to get past it because neither of them are over it. Or in this case, figure out how to do it again, but properly.

Old Flames Burn Brighter by @cisumox (E, 25k) I love this fic so much because of the way they are both clearly affected by what happened and how much they still want to love each other. I think about this one al the time. Warning: this does involve a career ending injury.

settle down in the Sunshine State by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 14.7k) This has my fave Mattdrai trope where one of them is a fucking idiot, and is so in their head about it. And they have absolutely no idea what literally every single other person knows. In this case, it's Matthew. I absolutely love this fic. I read it all the time.

gather your broken lessons and move by rumandwhine 🔒 (E, 30.5k) This one is super interesting because it doesn't involve a trade, or them in the same place. It is the same as it was before, but different. How are they doing to figure out what went wrong and how are they going to make sure they don't make the same mistakes? They are older now, but are they any less stupid. Keep reading to find out. (Also featuring an absolutely hilarious situation with Drai and his rookie).

AUs

linger by @bropunzeling 🔒 (E, 65.5k) (Omegaverse) This is another all timer. It is so incredible: the way they are just so inexplicably drawn to each other, and obsessed but so worried about their obsession. And the way Leon treats Matthew as something really special from the beginning (and how Matthew just doesn't seem to pick up on that). The way that things build towards the climax, with the ASG 2023 moment (which makes me want to rip my eyeballs out every time; it HURTS). It has all the best parts of omegaverse and explores their relationships with their dynamics so thoughtfully.

whatever promises I made by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 360k) (Omegaverse) Yet another all timer for the genre as a whole. The way that omegaverse is explored here is so interesting. It was the fic that really got me on board with the AU. It is so core to the way the characters interact with each other and the world, and the inherent traumas it brings really parallels some of the experiences of populations in the real world (e.g. women).

so is the longing by dogjuice 🔒 (E, 44.7k) (Omegaverse) When I tell you I have read this fic sooooo many times. It is so so good (and so hot). Matthew is so incredibly oblivious and Leon is pining so hard and down soooooo bad. I think Leon's love for Matthew can be seen from like Alpha centauri and yet Matthew totally misses it (among other things). This is SO good.

Egos and Eligibility by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 91.1k) (Regency & Omegaverse) I will continue to suck up to my good friend Iris LOL. But seriously, I read this before I even knew it was her and I love it so much. I adore Regency Matthew and the way Leon is literally ever MMC from the era (Mr Darcy) is so funny to me (why so pissy Leon). Regency is such a perfect setting for the Omegaverse tropes of courting and, also again, exploring the societal impact of having these dynamics in play. I think the part where Matthew goes into heat is SO funny and well written. Bridgerton wishes.

Royal Pain by lavender_hazyy 🔒 (E, 48.9k) + Sequel Rules of Engagement (E, 37.8k) (Medieval/Royalty/Bridgerton/Robin Hood) That sounds like the most bonkers combination of things, but it's truly so so so good. I recommend this one SO much. It's so much fun to read, and their interactions are so funny. Poor Connor is always experiencing the Horrors in the background. Everything about this is perfection. THE FUCKING LOVE LETTERS OMG.

bittersweet and strange by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 53.4k) (Fairytale Curses) Will I ever stop thinking about this? Probably not. :) I think so much of this is a metaphor for the "beast" that Matthew portrays himself to be (maybe believes himself to be) irl. Also, I will never get enough of Taryn as a character; she is just incredible. I will literally never forget the reveal at the end (and ever villain I ever write will be henceforth inspired by you). (Also, curly haired tiger Matthew, you will always be real to me. Leon + me *handshake emoji* wanting to tough Matthew's fur).

I honestly don't even think this is ALL of the Mattdrai fics I think about regularly/reread regularly. But these are at least a lot of them. There are also so many good recommendation lists on this website when you search for "mattdrai fic recs" that will include even more fics than the ones I've selected.

Legitimately, thank you to all Mattdrai writers out there for being the fucking GOATs. I don't know what I would be reading if not this.

[uravitypng]

denki has been in love with jirou since he's met her. at least that's what he thinks but he's harbouring a secret and he's refusing to acknowledge it, pretending that it doesn't exist.

that secret is you. you as a person aren't a secret, in fact you're a hero just like jirou and denki and went to school together. you're denki's friend, his best friend. you're close with jirou too and with the rest of your old classmates but with denki- nothing can replace him to you.

you remember the time you find out jirou and denki started dating, denki dropped everything and went out to find you because he had to let you know, you tell each other everything and it meant so much to him. well you thought you told each other everything...

denki and jirou's relationship was not going so well, communication issues and insecurities flooded the relationship. they have known each other for years now but jirou still worries that she isn't enough for him and denki doesn't communicate how he's feeling to her. he's worried that if he's serious about how he's feeling then she won't want to be with him anymore. he's able to do that with you though knowing he can be be honest and candid and doesn't have to make a joke every 5 seconds. jirou worries that denki will find someone 'prettier.' she worries he is in love with you, she expresses that sometimes, especially the days after nights out when she thinks you two spend to much time together, he always assures her that he only see's you platonically. you're his best friend, nothing more.

they're spending the night together as the both have the night off and decide to spend quality time together but denki wishes he was somewhere else. you told him you were planning on going to bed as soon as you're home from patrols but he received an instagram notification that you posted, a photo of you with mina and a very miserable looking bakugou. he doesn't know why you would lie to him but it bugs him. if jirou caught him looking at his phone on their date night she would be furious, especially if it was a photo of you but he couldn't help it. he sent a message to you asking you if your plans changed tonight. you reply almost instantly responding that mina dragged you out of bed and that it would be better if he was there. he wishes he was there too.

he drinks more and more that night and so does jirou, getting drunk of expensive bottles of red wine. at some point they make their way into their bedroom, fiddling with each others clothes to try and take them off as quick as possible. denki nearly tripped while rushing and taking off his jeans. they didn't really speak, they both just wanted, to feel skin contact.

it was clumsy and messy and they fall on the bed with a entanglement of limbs. denki places heated kisses down jirou's neck while she pulls his hair, grounding herself, in the process making him groan. they are both drunk, so incredibly drunk, so drunk that now denki's completely naked he's struggling to accurately thrust into her, and keeps missing. he's getting more frustrated as she's getting more whiny, finally he successfully pushes into her, hard and fast with no rhythm, just chasing that peak.

what denki's brain fails to realise at that moment is who is under him. he gets more rough and groans again, closing his eyes. that's when jirou hears it. her boyfriend. her boyfriend saying your name. she convinces herself that she must have misheard it, there's no way he'd think of someone else in bed, especially his best friend. denki's grabbing hold of the pillows as hard as he can, trying to stabilise himself and keep him upright. she's getting so close to coming.

"i love you. i love you. fuck, i love you so much." jirou takes a deep breath as she comes to the conclusion it was just her mind playing tricks on her. "holy fuck i love you-" she freezes. he said your name. this time there's no denying it, he's meant to be in love with her, they're meant to be in love with each other, they've met each other's parents, they live together! was this time all a lie? she eventually pushes denki off of her after she was able to move again and left the room.

when denki woke up in the morning jirou was packing her things and telling him that she's breaking up with him. she didn't tell him why and he couldn't remember. he kept asking why but she just left without answering him.

later on that day you messaged denki what happened with jirou because now she's acting like she hates you and you have no idea why. he doesn't know why either.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Bucky finds DomSub porn on Steve's search history and asks him about it.

At first Bucky thinks Steve is the one who wants to Dom. A very confusing discussion follows.

Bucky hasn't bottomed since before Steve and him have been together, atleast 80 odd years. But he'd be willing to try if that's what Steve's found he's into-

And a very bright red and sputtering Steve has to admit that, no.. he wants to be dominated. He wants to take it up the ass with restraints and praise.

Immediately Bucky is much more attached to the idea. Despite the fact that their roles in the bedroom have always been somewhat akin to these things Steve's been reading and watching, he never even considered.. oh god this is something he really wants too. Suddenly he's kind of drooling at the idea of this step up in dynamics.

Just picturing Steve tied up, whimpering and whining, bright red all over and blissfully out of his mind. Jesus.

They have a long road ahead of them lmao

For reference, my ask box is no longer open for requests, but this is from before I closed it, so I will be writing for this ask.

Yeah, yeah, yeah-!

There's a trope in your ask that I feel like appears pretty often in stucky fanfics, the whole we've-been-doing-this-since-before-there-was-a-name-for-it. Which, I'm unsure if it would be true because, well, I'm sure they would have called power dynamics something and the words have simply changed over time, but I haven't done enough research to know what. Or, it could've been completely true because they might have been cut off from any community that could have told them a name for that, so it would've been just something between the two of them, a way they played that they were unsure if anyone else did at all, and they didn't stop to put a name to it. Either way, it's definitely interesting.

Like, Bucky has been roughing Steve up since they were boys. He was the only one who respected Steve and didn't treat him like glass. Bullies were one thing, spitting on him and beating him, well-meaning adults were another thing, tiptoeing around him and worrying over his always ailing body, and Bucky something completely unique.

gif by the-girl-without-a-face

Bucky would wrestle him on the floor admist the shrieks and chanting and boney ankles of his younger sisters in the Barnes' home, Bucky wouldn't go easy on him in gym class but wasn't picking him out and wailing on him either, treating him as fair, worthy competition, and Bucky, as they got older, would kiss him like he wasn't afraid. He would pull Steve in for vicious kisses the moment they were alone that felt almost bruising against Steve's buzzing lips, their mouths meeting so fiercely. He would drag his teeth over Steve's bottom lip, unconcerned with the outside world and anything they may have to say about why Steve's lips are suddenly so swollen and wet after being locked in a bedroom with only one other person. Another young man.

Bucky didn't care about the suspicion of others over Steve's split lip, Steve's bruised flesh, or Steve's panting, soft moans that might overflow from their apartment. Partly because he just didn't fucking care, he cared about Steve too much to care about much anything else, and partly because he knew Steve could hold his own. Steve was not only strong enough to take it but stubborn enough to enjoy it.

And farther, Steve was strong enough to resist anything anyone said about him. That split lip? Nah, it wasn't from being pinned underneath Bucky, kissing until the fragile flesh of his mouth split and ran red. It was just from another fight, and you should see the other guy. He got it worse. Those bruises, just about the size of the tip of someone's finger? Huh. Must be from yet another confrontation or from smacking his boney body on corners and tables and doorframes. His balance isn't so good, and his skin is so thin and finicky, y'know? Anything makes him bruise. Anything that isn't, certainly, Bucky's strong, work-calloused hands digging into him as he fucks him without mercy, no, that'd be preposterous. Speaking of fucking, those little sounds, sweet and breathy, choked out from the Barnes-Rogers, Rogers-Barnes bare-bones bachelor pad? Those aren't anything to worry about. They come at night because that's when Steve's getting ready for bed and arranging his sheets and his dust allergy kicks up as well as when his asthma bothers him most, his lungs tired after a whole days worth of breathing. Those are the choked sounds of trying to get enough air. They absolutely are not the muffled sounds of pleasure from taking whatever Bucky dishes out and expects him to take, making his eyes go hazy and unfocused, rolling back into his head while his mouth drops open, leaving Bucky with no choice but to slap a hand over his stupid, pretty face to keep him quiet.

Yeah.

Bucky doesn't go easy on Steve. Why would he? Steve responds so fucking well to that roughness.

Oddly, nothing makes him more compliant than just a little roughing up. He'll fight back, sure, but he doesn't actually want to win their wrestling match or want Bucky to stop. He just wants to add to the anticipation. He wants to make Bucky earn it. He wants to egg Bucky on, get him to let go that last little bit, and really wail on him. That's what gets Steve limp and moaning all breathy, his eyelashes fluttering softly, his heart slowly circulating his blood, pushing it down, down, down between his legs.

And as much as they don't talk about it, not really, during that time before the war--or even during the war later, when Bucky and Steve let the violence of the war front bleed into their own games but in a much more tender, caring way that spoke of their bonds, not of their differences like the troop mentalities of us vs them--they don't talk about it worse when Bucky first comes back.

Steve doesn't talk because he doesn't know what Bucky remembers, and he doesn't want to push him away if he doesn't remember and it's too much for him. He won't pressure him. If Bucky doesn't want to be together, at all, anymore, then they won't be. If Bucky doesn't want to be with him, like that, anymore, then they won't be. Steve would never dream of pushing Bucky into that dynamic again if he doesn't want it.

Bucky doesn't talk because, yes, at first, those days have yet to resurface through the murky, silt-heavy waters of his subconscious, not settled out to a clear lake. But, eventually, memory in mind, back where it should be, Bucky doesn't talk because he doesn't know how to broach the topic. Steve always did that. Steve goaded him and encouraged it, directly or, most often, indirectly--not using his words but letting his shivers of pleasure, heavily-lidded eyes, and low, soft sounds of lust talk for him. Bucky isn't sure how to ask if they're real memories, just fantasies, or how to ask if Steve still wants it that way.

Steve really fucking wants it.

But, again, Steve's stubborn. Once they are together again, officially, and once they are being intimate again, it's enough. Wholeheartedly. Steve will take that and nothing more and not truly complain about a thing. Having an itch in the back of his mind is nothing compared to the gaping, festering wound he once harbored, thinking his lover was dead. He can deal with it. More than "deal," he will thrive with it. But...

As stubborn as Steve is, he's curious, too. He can't leave anything alone. He can't turn a blind eye. He can't pretend. So, when he can finally stomach thinking of intimacy again because Bucky is back and they're having it, cuddling and sex and everything between, Steve starts to get curious. He's thinking more and more about how they used to act.

Did anyone else do that before?

Does anyone else do that now?

Yes.

The answer to both is yes.

They did.

They do.

Steve goes looking, and he finds.

He finds a wealth of names for those kinds of practices--all kinds of people from all different backgrounds, genders, and sexualities mixing wanted, pleasurable meanness and violence and bite with loving affection. Kink. BDSM. (Which, BDSM, is a name that carries names it of itself, fascinatingly enough. Bondage and discipline. Domination and submission. Sadism and masochism.) Power dynamics. Power play. Roleplay. Total power exchange. Dom/sub. Authority kinks. Master/slave. Pain play. Daddy/boy. Competency kinks. Etc. Etc.

All those different words for it live in Steve's search history, and it lives in real people who really do this stuff and really enjoy themselves. They describe liking it, loving it, needing it. Just like Steve liked it, loved it, and needed it when Bucky gave him those things, although, ultimately, in a less organized way than in the way presented to him online, discussing limits, both hard and soft, having negotiations before most every "scene", and employing safewords. Those all sound smart. They were definitely uninformed back then but also just young and reckless.

Overall, though, it's enough to know it exists. Steve isn't really planning on doing anything about it. Not yet, at least. He wants to savor what he's just won back for a while longer before altering it in any way. But...

Bucky borrows his laptop when his own is charging up from dead, and Steve didn't think to delete his history because it's his laptop? He knows what he was looking at, and he doesn't care if he sees it again, in fact, he might want to. He may want or need to retrace his digital tracks. So--

"Steve?"

All of that old, roughing-up they used to do bubbles up to the surface again.

They'll have a conversation about it. They will. Eventually. But... the way Steve colors that perfect, sweet pink once Bucky turns the laptop around to show him a web page about the history and origins of erotic bondage, well, there's not much that can be done. Bucky is done in. That blush. That fucking blush heats Bucky up like a summer sunset, setting off humid, thick arousal but also awe.

His baby is pretty.

And he remembers, vividly--sprawled like a Renaissance painting across the back of his eyelids in his mind's eye--how pretty he was curled up into all kinds of twisted, pretzel shapes with the help of Bucky's soft neckties, elastic suspenders, or worn, butter-smooth belt. How pretty he was gasping for air while Bucky pumped deep inside him, fucking him and holding his bird-boned wrists above his head in one clenched fist to keep those trouble making fingers outta his way. How pretty he was with his big blue eyes wide and wet with tears, pleading through uneven hiccuping sobs to please, please, please finally be able to cum after a whole afternoon spent laid out on their thin, old mattress, told he couldn't move an inch, or they'd be done--struggling to obey instinctively, his body aching for pleasure, but wanting to obey regardless. How pretty he was being good. How pretty he was submitting.

Bucky's mouth is dry as a desert, just thinking about those dust-covered memories. He licks his lips, rifling through his own body to decide how he feels. Steve tracks the movement with a distinct, familiar kind of embarrassment in his blue eyes. Bucky feels very, very aroused.

"Yeah?" Steve finally replies, his voice hoarse. Rough and feral.

In response, Bucky's voice comes out dripping with his usually faded accent, "go get me a belt."

Steve's jaw drops. Although, before Bucky can reel himself back in, his words, no, his demand swallowed back down into his chest where it's more appropriate, more private, Steve is scurrying off as obedient as a lap dog.

A grin twists itself onto Bucky's lips.

Steve returns, panting, he zipped to the bedroom and back with everything he has. Eager little punk. But, he is holding a belt.

It's one of Bucky's, no surprise there. Old habits die hard, Bucky supposes.

They have plenty of belts to choose from these days, belts for different occasions from hanging around the house to fancy charity events, belts of different styles to fit every occasion and every kind of pant, belts on belts on belts, belts for the both of them. But, the belt Steve selected is Bucky's oldest. And it's the most familiar. The very thing he owned in the 30s before everything was war rationed. Thick, smooth, flexible leather that's been beat to shit, so much wear and love to it. The hole punched through it that Bucky uses a little looser than all the rest.

Bucky takes it from him, and Steve whimpers.

An answering chuckle finds its way out of Bucky, pulled up from the same depths as his arousal. Deep, thudding--throbbing. He hasn't even done anything yet, and here is his little dolly, all pink, slack-jawed, and making cute sounds for him.

"Wrists, behind your back, darlin'," Bucky murmurs.

Steve spins in a tight circle and crosses both hands over the small, small of his big, broad back, holding them together.

Bucky lovingly loops the leather of his belt around Steve's wrists once, twice, enjoying the goosebumps that lift over Steve's skin immensely. It pleases the animal inside him, wanting this more than he knows how to deal with.

Easy as breathing, once he's got Steve's wrists bound, he puts his boy on his knees between his knees. Steve's laptop pushed to the other end of the couch and forgotten, completely forgotten.

Nothing exists but Steve.

So fucking pretty.

Blonde hair that begs to be stroked and pulled. A blush spilled like expensive, sugary wine across his high cheekbones and the bridge of his nose, slowly running down to his square jaw and swallowing throat. Blue eyes getting darker with every tension-filled moment that passes between them, shaded by unreal lashes that Bucky knows get even more obscene when painted with cum. Dripping and heavy. Soaked. Lips plush and unreal. All of him. His crooked nose. Every bit of him.

Bucky strokes his smooth, smooth jaw and zeros in on the way his lips quiver, so close to begging already.

Maybe he can take it easy on him this one time, hm? It has been a long, long time...

"You want it?" Bucky husks out, tracing the tips of his fore- and middle fingers from the hinge of his killer jaw to the plush pillow of his fat bottom lip.

Steve nods urgently, but his lips dropping open is more than enough of an answer.

An answer and a request that Bucky fulfills eagerly, shoving two fingers into Steve's mouth and pressing down on his tongue, letting him have a taste of the weight, and feeling his hot mouth flood with saliva. Wet.

Desperate hunger.

Bucky pushes deeper, relishing in the way the smaller, more uniform taste buds at the center of his tongue give way to larger, vaguely rougher ones at the very back and how that turns into nothing but the slick, velvet-soft inside of his throat. His throat contracts and hugs his fingers even as he sputters around a gagged moan.

Good fucking god.

"Yeah," Bucky talks down to his blushing, restrained yet squirming boy, choking on his fingers, eyes full of glassy, pretty tears, "you want it."

Steve moans that much harder, straining his neck to get more, trying to have his fingers deeper, deeper until his teeth dig hard into Bucky's knuckles.

"Don't worry, baby," Bucky hears himself coo, a low, syrupy tune that goes well with the jingle of his belt, undoing it one handed to get his dick out. If Steve wants to be tied down and have his mouth filled up, then that's what he'll get. Bucky can spend as much time as Steve wants--as much as he needs pounding down into his tight throat, making him take it, wearing him down to rivers of tears of pleasure, and leaving him limp everywhere except where it counts, so drunk on being used that he doesn't have a lick of fight left in him. He's so easy and hard for being a nice, wet hole. Always was. Always will be.

[saintmachina]

This is more....confession than ask but I've been having a rough go of it. I was raised catholic and what little I saw of it in catholic school at a super young age was so full of art, mysticism, defiance AND peace, /kindness/, and encouragement to talk to God as /Father/, as family.....I felt so at home in it. I was pulled out of it bc my parents couldn't afford tuition by the time I was 9, so I went to public school. I saw the Church from the outside and I've had random bursts of OCD style attendance to mass vs not going. I feel more at peace with life with not going but I know I should. I know I disagree with the doctrines but I walk into a cathedral and I'm home. I'm moved to tears by stone stations of the cross and stained glass martyrs but I'm a queer adult who fucked with witchcraft and no longer aspire to be a nun or a saint. I feel like I don't belong but also feel bad telling my fellow queers I ID as Catholic knowing the atrocities committed by it and the trauma most of them have. Do you know anyone else with this experience?

I resonate so much with this ask on so many levels, anon, thank you for your earnestness and your honesty. I know a LOT of people with this experience, myself included, so you came to the right place. I'm no priest, but confessions are always welcome here <3

It sounds like you were formed (in the classical sense of spiritual formation, shaped like clay on a wheel or contoured like a rock worn by waves) by the sacredness you experienced in Catholic school. That was your entry point to God, your foundational understanding of the divine, and on one hand, what a blessing to be equipped at a young age with prayers and tools and stories and rituals to help you draw near to the source of all life! But of course, in another sense, how painful to come to the realization that this tradition you love has perpetuated brutal doctrines and painful teachings for centuries, that it has harmed those you cherish (and undoubtedly you as well).

However, I want to ask you some questions. Why do you need to be a nun, or any kind of saint? Why can't you just be a creature in a body that is soul-stirred by the stained glass and the stations of the cross and the tales of the heroic dead? Why should God take any less notice of you because you question, because your love and desire takes the queer shape that God has rooted within you, because you recoil at injustice and cruelty and corruption? Because you sought communion with something supernatural through a method not formally endorsed by the Church, yet practiced historically by many of its priests, scholars, and adherents? Because you grasp for goodness and sometimes prevail and sometimes fail, just like every human that's come before you?

If God is real, than God and all God's symbols and signs, all the rituals and tales and talismans, must be for God's people. And I'll tell you something I believe with all of myself: we are all God's people.

If your heart is most at peace not attending church, that's okay for a season, or maybe forever! But perhaps there are other ways your heart can rest in God, in nature or conversation with friends or personal devotion or private mysticism or communal prayer? You are heir to an inheritance of a long line of queer Catholics, as difficult as that badge is sometimes to bear, but your (our) queer siblings have reshaped history, theology, art, liturgy, music, and more with our talent and perspectives. We are members of the family, beloved children of an attentive and patient Father. No one gets to tell you to leave: this is your house, should you choose to reside here one day out of the year or many.

Sorry, I feel like I'm rambling, but this ask really touched me. Basically, there are not rules, anon. We're all going to die and we're all going to experience so much pain and joy in our glimmering, fragile lives, and God wants to be present in that pain and joy with us, in whatever form God takes, in whatever language we can understand.

I know it can be painful to tell someone you love who has been hurt by the church that religion still holds meaning for you, I wrestle with that every day, but I think the wrestling is worth it, if you proceed with honesty and compassion. No one can tell you what path to take, but I hope I can encourage you in that you aren't walking alone.

Be blessed in your seeking anon, and fortified by the saints, and guided by the light of the archangels and the gentle touch of Mary, and brooded over by the protective wings of God.

[absolutebl]

I kinda fell out of the BL game the last several months thanks to irl things, but I think I'm finally feeling like wading fully back in. I started with Love Syndrome III(only because @heretherebedork piqued my interest) and just finished Moonlight Chicken. What should I watch next? My limits are romanticized sexual assault, cheating, miscommunication as a main plot point, and no HEA. I could also do without a straight side couple, but I'd tolerate it if the main plot and couple are really good. Bonus points if there's a D/s dynamic, but that's not 100% necessary.

Thanks ❤️

Best of 2023 So Far?

Of course darling!

Hum last several months? Let's see...

Our Dating Sim (Viki) - if you haven't watched this it's a must. I actually handed out a 10/10. I NEVER do that. I can't tell you how much I loved this show (or have already rewatched it). It's a perfect short form KBL, an office set reunion romance featuring geeks that really suits 8 eps with no fluff and no chaff. Just comforting and yummy. Full review.

The New Employee (Viki) - just so good, SO QUEER, so soft, a near pitch perfect office BL with conflict derived from that setting. Also... Rainbow Rice Cakes and found fam and a lesbian bestie and all the goodness. My review is on MDL.

The Eighth Sense (Viki) - speaking of queer, this one is a bit rough (sticky and gritty), more in the Moonlight Chicken area. But very high quality, fabulous chemistry, and a remarkably complex offering for a KBL - think Blueming-esk but even better.

Unintentional Love Story (iQIYI) - @heretherebedork and I LOVED this one, but it is kinda hard to get hold of. I found the seme a bit stiff and reserved but Gongchan (who plays the uke) is a fucking GIFT. He has THE MOST expressive eyes, just drown in the emoting abyss. The external conflict tension and pressure is complex and excellent plus Korea gave us legit side dishes (NOT a love triangle, hally-fucking-luya). Review on MDL.

My School President (YouTube) - I adored this one! My favorite GMMTV offering in dog's age, and my new favorite pair GeminiFourth. It could have gotten a 10/10 from me but for too much singing. This is the side pair from Moonlight Chicken anchoring a high school BL full of the most teenage pining ever and it's GREAT.

All the Liquors (Viki, Gaga) - another KBL hitting hard and solid. This one is KBL-weird in the way of Tasty Florida or Behind Cut (which I've gotten used to, but is kinda a "type" now). It will wig you out if you have any baggage around alcohol. The logic behind the phobias are typically Asian romance qua? BUT it's still quite cute.

Never Let Me Go (YT) - of GMMTV handing out new series to established pairs this has been the most successful IMHO. PondPhuwin were about 10000x better in this than FUTS (and that's FUTS's fault, not theirs). It's typically Thai in that its a bit bloated and has a confusing plot, but at least it HAD a plot and the central relationship is solid and loyal. Their Our Skyy 2 follow up is also good. And very much adds to the cannon in a fun way rather than feeling superfluous - making this show ultimately 14 eps rather than the usual 12.

Bed Friend (YT, iQIYI, Gaga) - speaking of a bit bloated, this one derailed somewhat in plot for me (even at 10 eps) but NetJames really are glorious, and absolutely the hottest and the prettiest of 2023. Full of triggers for childhood abuse and sexual assault (backstory), but the main pair is very communication-heavy and based on a fuck buddy premise which has negotiation and everything, unique & fun to see. This is my high heat rec for the year so far, because the heat is PART OF THE PLOT and that's a gift we don't usually get. Review on MDL.

Between Us (iQIYI) - I'm still processing this one. I didn't have as high expectations as most but it was still a little disappointing. BounPrem are lovely of course, but somehow it just wasn't quite what I wanted. I did a watch along for this one so you can see me struggle. However, objectively, held up against other BLs? It's actually pretty darn good.

I hope some of these you haven't seen. None have romanticized sexual assault, cheating, or miscommunication as a main plot point (hum... maybe Between Us? Honestly I can't remember the plot points, it was all over the place), and all have HEA (this is me after all(.

[lesbiangummybearmafia]

Having a night, so to ground me and destruct me I decided to do this.

These Are Sure Some Asks

What do you really need right now? My favorite person to snuggle with and fall asleep in her arms.

What are some of the things that have made you who you are? Pain, trauma and love

What are some of your pet peeves? Stupid, bigoted, ignorant, annoying people!

Share a dark thought? (Go on, vent a little) need my time machine to go back and kill baby Trump, Hilter, Mussolini, Stalin, and any other evil SOB!

Something that makes you ridiculously happy? Just being with my favorite person, listening to her talk, being in her presence, talking to her for hours. Seeing her smile and laugh, making her laugh. Learning new things about her no matter how small. Finding out things we have in common. Having everything in my gut, body and soul screaming at me that she's who I've been waiting for my whole life.

What are you craving? My favorite person! I only got to see her for a very short time today and I wasn't nearly enough.

Song stuck in your head? Electric Love - Borns

Last thing you watched? Metlock

Shows on your watch list? Before, The Floor, New episodes of Bob's Bugers, How To Die Alone

Books on your reading list? Not really a book reader so I'm going with fanfic. Been reading new Brenda x Sharon and Janeway x Seven fics

Something on your wish list? My favorite person 😘 naked spread out on 1000 thread count sheets!! Spending hours making love to her.

Something you want to monologue about? Omg so much! The climate crisis, the state of the government in the US, how broken every single system is in the US, how the Republicans party must be dissolved to save the US because it just became breeding ground for fascism! About all the outrageous lies the Right tells about immigration and immigrants!! How the US has stop supporting Israel! About the genocide of the Palestinians!! How the lgbtqia+ community is being targeted in our country, especially our trans brothers and sisters! The war on women's reproductive rights. Which is horrible but is ultimately a red herring to control women's freedom once again. I can keep going...

If you were a note, what note would you be? I'll be truthfully I'm confused by this one. So I'll go with I'd be heart shape Post-It 😉🩷

Tactician, fighter, generalist, or supportive role? Generalist

Talk about a stuffie. Ok I'll tell about my teddy bear Orli. Got him at build a bear, he no longer available at the store. He has velvety fabric and super cute that why I choose him. I got him atleast 15 years ago, I was also a fully grown adult when I got him. I don't quite remember why I went to build a bear that day I got him or why. It was just meant to be. Because he's helped quite alot with my anxiety over the years. He was one of the only things I was allow to have when I was admitted into a level one psychiatric hospital 7 years ago, when I tried to commit suicide. Helped me through through that and everything that's followed. If there was fire he would be the first important possession I'm grabbing! I sleep with him every night and he's on bed the rest of the time. I'd be lost without him! He might be a stuffie but he's like family too! I get panicky when I can find him. He's a bit rough now, but fuck so am I. 😁

They say you can tell a lot about a person from the state of their desk... Do you have a desk? Can you describe it? No desk, I use my bed as my desk and complete chaos! But it reflects the chaos of anxiety ridden mind.

Space, enchanted forest, magical kingdom, or underwater city? Nope on all this jazz. I'm more I want to live in version of Los Angeles in Blade Runner or any other futuristic city I was told about in books, movies, anime and TV shows in the 80s and 90s!!

What are some of the meanings of your name? (Or url if you don't want to say.) I was a little high when I came up with it. So it's like this: I'm a lesbian, I like gummy bears and I was listening to Swedish House Mafia that night I came up with it.  So I got, lesbiangummybearmafia 🤩

What fictional doctor do you wish was your doctor? The Doc from Voyager

Are you a gamer? What was the last game you played? I'm a old school gamer. It was Mario Kart

How do you take your pizza? Another favorite it black olive, mushroom and pepperoni

Strangest thing that has happened to you this week? Got told that I'm basically a New Yorker, a new friend told me this. Way she figures it since both my parents were born in New York I have in my blood. Since she's from New York she should know. She said it's because I'm straight forward, blunt, can detect bullshit a 1000 feet. All that the New Yorker in me. I'm perfectly fine with that!

Share a bit of philosophy? This to shall pass, it could always be worse, put positive out it does actually come back to you, fight for yourself (that actually works to) others will fight with you!

Do you follow the news? Most of time...but not right now.

What's on your mind? My favorite person!

What is your dream mode of transportation? Transporters from Star Trek and Flying Cars from Blade Runner

What fascinates you about humanity? How we can be both infinitely kind and infinitely evil. Both should not be able to survive in a single species. However humanity is living proof that this is to be true. Also the complexities of the human brain. It's very much runs in ways like computer and yet we have emotions that seem to on a logically level make no freakin sense. Yet it these very emotions that are responsible for some of humanities most beautiful things like art, music, movies, books, poetry, sex, love, romantic, happiness, joy, family, etc.

What about life makes you smile? My favorite person ie, the woman in RL I very much have deep feelings for. She's made me realize that I want to be in a relationship again. Also perhaps those signs I've been waiting for finally showed up 😍

What is your favourite way to create? I have many. I like to free write, write fanfic, write songs, draw, paint, made collages, make quotes posters, make edits, sing, bed dance, car dance, bathtub dance, do nail art, do crafts, etc.

Insert your own question here! Awesome ok

Design your own music festival any artist are allow, both living and dead, who would be on line up?

Tagging all my followers and friends!

[moreclaypigeons]

crying at the tags on the playlist names post oml. anyway what're your top 5 mountain goats sounds for someone who loves no children and has not heard any other of their songs

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH

Well here is the tmg essentials playlist that I have crafted, which is an hour and a half long (also is the reason my pfp is John Green mountain goats And was mentioned in the playlist tags :])

And as for the top five? Hhh okay.. I want to get a good mix of times and feelings in there as well as try to cover the essential albums uhhh

1. This year | The Sunset Tree | 2005

This is an absolute classic and is great to scream in your head. It's about getting through this year if it kills you!! It's one of my most played songs of all time at this rate (I've streamed it 500+ times apparently??)

2. Get Famous | Getting Into Knives | 2020

I love this one, it's more jazzy than most of their songs and is just very fun. It's not what a lot of their music sounds like but it's a good time.

3. The Best Ever Death Metal Band Out of Denton | All Hail West Texas | 2002

I love this album in general, it is very acoustic and every song has its own narrative. This song is the first on the tracklist, and it's a good representative for a lot of their music especially in that time period.

4. Deuteronomy 2:10 | The Life of the World to Come | 2009

Be warned this song will make you fucking cry. Content warning for extinction and animal death. That's all I will say. This song changed my life... I've never been able to listen to this album all the way through cause it's one of their more emotionally heavy ones. By god are some of the songs profoundly sad. Good but devastating.

5. Amy aka Spent Gladiator 1 | Transcendental Youth | 2012

If you like No Children, I must recommend something near it in catharsis. And of course that's Spent Gladiator. This song is like if This Year had an older sister. It's about going through rough shit and thinking you're not gonna make it but you find every way you can to keep going.

Bonus:

Here's the ska cover of no children. Because I love it.

You Were Cool is one of my favorites that they only perform live and haven't released a recording of. You can find videos of it on YouTube! I used one of the lines from it on my graduation cap.

If you do like these songs and want to get more into the mountain goats, I would recommend listening to either:

A Jordan lake sessions album, which are live session recordings they especially did during the height of the pandemic. The whole thing tracks over and has a lot of talking between songs and many of them have a different or more raw take on some of their more popular or personal favorites.

Any of their albums all the way through in order. My top recommendations for this are Tallahassee (which no children is on!), The sunset tree, all hail West Texas, bleed out, heretic pride, and transcendental youth. I do love many of the other albums but these ones are my favorites as a unit.

I know listening to the mountain goats at first can be really intimidating cause their discography is SO BIG (like more than 24 hrs worth of music big) but if you do then you end up with a lot of room to explore! I don't think I've even listened to every song they've made and I've been a fan for a good few years. Like mountain goats fans are super cool about that kind of thing (I know other music fan communities can be the opposite) cause they just love to share even a little love! And if you (or anyone else!!) have any questions or want more playlist suggestions (I have several hyperspecific tmg playlists saved and or made) my inbox is always open :] I love talking about tmg

[lizardywizard]

Self-examination of kintype’s senses.

A really fun question to ask yourself, especially if you're otherkin/theriomythic: what senses did you use the most? I asked myself this question last night while trying to fall asleep, and learned some really neat things out of it.

If you're an Earthly animal, science can probably tell you if your kintype has colour vision, or a good sense of smell. But it could still be interesting to explore memories or feelings/intuition with this stuff in mind!

As my kintype is some kind of wingless water dragon, I don’t have much to go on biologically. Modern reptiles vary widely in their sensory abilities, and my body was probably more akin to that of a mesothermic dinosaur, about which we still know very little. So I looked into my memories and intuitions and tried to focus on what senses they would require.

Sight: I don’t remember anything with a lot of colour detail, though that could be because I was living in snowy tundra, where things were mostly shades of white and grey. I think my sight focused more on contrast and movement, with large eyes to take in a lot of light; a useful trait for a creature that spends a lot of time underwater.

I subconsciously find myself focusing a lot on how reptiles’ faces look, and in particular the snout shape. So I think the snout shape was an important cue for me to differentiate between similar species, similar to how Red recognises her own kin versus a rival species in Raptor Red. Red’s response was to the colours of other Utahraptors; I think mine must have been mostly to shape.

Smell/Taste: I’m unsure about this one. I know that generally, water-dwelling predators like sharks and crocodiles have keen senses of smell. I’m not sure if this was the case for me or not, since I don’t really have any scent memories, but it doesn’t feel unlikely?

Hearing: Probably decent. To the extent that we communicated as a species, we did so via booms and chuffs, much like crocodiles. My dewlap was almost certainly a sound amplifier for these rumbling calls. I was probably capable of picking up low-frequency sounds and vibrations over a fairly long distance. This would also give me advanced warning of larger predators and vicious territorial species.

Touch: Here’s where it gets interesting, because I think after all these years, I think I’ve figured out what my spines are for. They’re sensors, like whiskers or barbels!

When you move underwater, other senses are muted. The usefulness of vision is reduced, because you can’t see very far or very clearly. Hearing is distorted by the sound of your own movements. Having a good sense of smell is useful for tracking injured prey, but a piscivore of my size would have gulped their prey whole. (Even to this day I have a tendency to “wolf” down food. I find it enjoyable to swallow a big hunk of something.)

But what is always around you, guiding you, creating a 3D map of your surroundings, is water pressure. Currents would pull my spines this way and that, and by the tugging on my body I would have a detailed understanding of my environment, fed to me not by one isolated body part but by the biggest organ, the skin. For both finding food and escaping predators, that’s vital.

As soon as I realised that, I understood something. As a child, I always wanted to run and tumble and play rough, but I was always scared to do it because I didn’t feel like I had a good sense of where my body was in space. Being bipedal and not having that pressure, I constantly feel like I’m going to fall. The one place I was pretty fearless was the water. I can’t swim quickly or competitively, but I’d go to the pool and swim and dive for hours, then go and eat a massive sandwich and some fries. Best feeling in the world. Don’t fuck with the ocean, never have, but a lake, a pool? That��s just such a soothing place for me to be. I feel held, finally, by the world. I feel sensorily in place.

[the-unspeakable-tsar]

X-Manson Chapter 4 by Benway - Annotated by Tsar

Here we meet this universe's favorite lads, the Proudstars. Along with this au's version of Storm.

[Shot: Two young men of obvious Native American ancestry. They are huge.]

*huge is an understatement

[Caption: John & James Proudstar, The Hearth Social Services Centre, Salem Centre NY]

*Thunderbird and Warpath of the X-Men and X-Force.

James: Did she tell you how we're all Morlocks, named after the characters in HG Wells' novel the Time Machine?

*Finally, someone points it out.

John: A great many of the people in this community had very rough lives. There's a lot of serious headcases living here. I wish you'd come to us first.

James: You're lucky. Last camera crew, she said her thing but said War of the Worlds instead of The Time Machine and when they corrected her she beat the crap out of them.

Int: Really.

John: She's superhumanly good at hand-to-hand combat. Used to be a Marine until her first psychotic episode.

*Callisto was never a marine, but John was.

Int: You were both graduates of the Massachusetts Academy.

James. Yeah. Great place.

John: James graduated the year before they closed it down. Fuckers.

Int: Who finances this centre?

James: Doug Ramsey gives us most of our funds.

*interesting.

Int: How long has the centre been open?

John: Since they closed that hellhole down.

James: We were here before that, though. Keeping an eye on the place. We're resistant.

John: We kind of settled here, just in case.

Int: Did Emma Frost encourage you?

James: Hell no. She freaked when we told her.

*another instance of the interviewer being skeptical of Emma Frost.

John: It was James' idea. If someone tried to get out, we'd be there. Kind of like the Underground Railroad. We got jobs here. I worked in the Family Services office, and James worked in the Parks and Recreation Department.

James: He got to look at the inside, I got to see the outside of the real ugliness that's here. Hard to tell which was harder to bear.

John: People were on best behaviour when they came to see me.

James: I had to see all the fights in the street, had to mow the lawn in the park in front of the School. Had to wear a gas mask when I did that for most of the summer.

Int: Why?

James: Place stank. Any time the wind came past the house into town in summer, it cleared the streets. Guess we now know why.

Int: Didn't you try to summon the authorities?

James: Yeah. Fuck all happened though.

John: We made complaints and nothing ever happened.

James: We think they were in some heads up in Albany and in White Plains. Either that or the Feds were holding them off.

John: We couldn't complain too much, or else it would have attracted too much attention.

James: Still think we should have made more noise.

John: Being in the bottom of that lake would not have been a good death.

James: Says you.

Int: But you must have known what the smell was.

John: We knew what most of it was, because we didn't have toilets in some of the places where we grew up.

James: Guess we just didn't want to think about what the rest of it was.

John: We knew that from the rez too. We saw our main job as watching, keeping track of things, being there in case anybody would want to get out.

Int: Did you think that there were any government operations that you didn't know about?

John: Oh yeah. There were at least four attempts to put an observation post in here. Logan and Rasputin took care of all of them.

Int: Didn't the agents have any protection against psis?

John: Yeah, but that didn't protect them against the neighbours.

Int: The psis in the School were watching the neighbours?

John: Maybe, but they didn't have to.

James: A lot of people came here because it was relatively safe for the mutants who couldn't hide, but some came because of the rumours about the School.

Int: What sort of rumours?

John: That it was the place that the revolution would come from. A revolution that would put mutants in charge. There were all these rumours about a mutant messiah, who would come and deliver them all.

*Sounds an awful lot like propaganda from regular x-men comics

Int: Did these people come and go from the School?

James: Hardly anyone came and went from the School who didn't live there. Sometimes people went, but didn't come back. No, the believers went to our competition.

John: The Xavier Centre. They changed the sign to Liberation Centre, but everyone still calls it the Xavier Centre.

Int: Was it run by Xavier?

James: They always denied it, saying he just put up the money, but that bitch who runs it always used to be down at the School.

John: She was one of the few of them who didn't live there.

Int: What did the centre do?

James: Same things we do. Give food to the hungry, arrange clinic visits, talk people out of killing themselves. Only difference is they have the church services there.

John: The church of the mutant messiahs. The twins. Little Rachel and Nathan.

*Our Nate count is up to 3

*Nate (scott and Maddie's son)

*Nathanial (?) Cable.

*Little Nate.

Int: The names of the children from the house? The ones with the crowns?

James: You got it.

[Shot of a haughty, regal woman of African descent with dark skin but pure white hair.]

*you saw her in the gif, you know her, you love her, It's Storm!

[Caption: Ororo Munroe, Director of the Liberation Centre, Salem Centre NY]

OM: I would prefer to be addressed as Your Highness, as I am a princess.

Int: From Africa?

*and she's an asshole.

OM: Please.

Int: Your highness.

OM: Yes. My lineage can be traced back to the dawn of time.

Int: Are you also a mutant, your highness?

OM: I am. I can control the elements, the winds and the waves.

Int: What services do you offer at the centre? Your highness.

OM: We offer counseling for the lost, as well as elementary medical care. Unlike the other so-called assistance centres, we offer our aid with no strings attached.

Int: What about the Drop-In Centre, your highness?

OM: It is associated with the pederast Frost. It is a well-known front for her slavery operations.

Int: Is there a religious dimension to your centre? Your highness?

OM: Our centre is non-denominational.

*bullshit.

Int: I've been told, your highness, that you hold worship services here, associated with the children who were found in the School after the raid.

OM: Many of our clients are religious, and often pray for the souls of all the children found there.

Int: Your highness, was the centre financed by Charles Xavier?

OM: He was among our many backers. We had not heard from him for many years at the time of the raid.

Int: What do you think of Charles Xavier, you highness?

OM: I believe that he was a brilliant man who was misled, and manipulated by others. His dream remains alive within us.

*Oh you have no idea, sister.

Int: What dream is that? Your highness.

OM: That mutants and humans might live together in harmony.

Int: Does the centre encourage this, your highness?

OM: It does.

Int: Your highness, are there any non-mutant volunteers or employees of this centre?

OM: Some.

Int: Could I speak with them, your highness?

OM: Our volunteer and client lists are strictly confidential.

[Shot of J&J Proudstar]

James: She made you call her Your Highness, didn't she?

John: Funny thing is, she really is a princess. She used to work for the dictator of Zanzibar in his secret police, but she had to leave after the coup in '76. She ended up in their embassy in Washington, but, after the coup in '78, they booted her out into the street.

*I don't know what this is a reference to, if anybody knows, please reblog.

Int: How did she get hooked up with Xavier?

John: No idea.

James: We do know what she did in between, though.

[Shot of the cover of a glossy magazine called Dark Chocolate. The African woman on its cover is bereft of clothing, but is fascinatingly scarred. A teaser on the cover promises pictures of a princess within.]

Int: She claimed that the centre was non-denominational.

James: Yeah, just like the Vatican is.

John: They have services there, for Xavier's religion.

Int: Have you ever been?

James: We didn't dare. Too close to Xavier. John hears all about it, though.

John: It's got a kind of bastardized Christian theology. Lots of elements of things I read about in The Golden Bough. They're waiting for a messiah who will save the world from the chaos-bringer and Apocalypse.

Int: Apocalypse being Secretary-General Nur?

James. You got it. They're kind of vague about who the chaos-bringer is.

John: Sometimes they said it was supposed to be Doug, sometimes it was supposed to be Erich Lehnsherr.

*Doug Ramsey, the lord of chaos!

Int: I though Lehnsherr was supposed to be one of the Horsemen?

James: Kind of depends on the day of the week. They're pretty consistent on the Whore of Babylon, though.

John: Takes a lot of strength not to react to some of the things they say against Ms. Frost.

Int: Who runs the church?

John: Munroe, we think. Worthington's involved, but we're not sure how.

Int: Is he involved with New Salem Holdings?

*I think that's a definite "Yes"

John: Never been able to trace it back that far.

Int: Was the church involved in the escape?

James: Shit, yeah.

John: We'll never forgive her for that. Never.

Int: Were you here then?

James: Happened six months before we came.

John: I heard all about it, though. Lots of people here saw what happened.

Int: Was Callisto involved?

James: Yeah. She was a lot more together then.

Int: How many of the students at the School were involved?

John: Can't really say. We know that the Guthries and three others made it this far.

Int: Sam Guthrie, his sister, Psyche and Ariel?

James: Can we answer that?

John: Long as you keep away from real names. Yeah, those four. Which ones you talking to?

Int: Psyche. She's the only one we could find who would talk.

James: Doesn't surprise me Ariel wouldn't talk. She was there the longest.

Int: Who planned it?

John: Don't think we should say anything about that.

Int: Were there any people on the outside?

James: Some. You'll have to talk to Callisto about that.

John: We can tell you that Nathaniel Essex was involved.

Our nathan count is now up to four:

Maddie and Scott's kid, Nathan

Cable (?) Nathaniel.

Little Nate

and Lastly Nathaniel Essex, Mister Sinister.

[supscoolbitch]

Once long ago…

Description : Once long ago in a unknown kingdom, the gods decided the human world need to be ruled by themselves due to the idiotic nature of rulers. They came down and disguised themselves and came to each kingdom, claiming it. The word got around that the gods had came to earth looking for a wife to bore them children. So when the god of life, satoru gojo, comes to take the throne, he also finds himself with a merchants daughter.

TW : drinking, cussing, patriarchal society, mentions of forced marriage, catcalling, slut shaming, murder, torture, women being treated as objects, virginity loss, rough sex, pussy slapping

A/N: Lol guys I thought of this in biology. Also should I do a part 2?

————————

The flowers are in bloom, the trees are green, the wind sings with life. Spring was here. The cobblestone pavement was freshly filled with very few people out due to the beginning of the season. The scent of herbs fill the street as the occasional screams of women birthing there children.

As spring entered so did the new herd of babes being born due to them all being conceived in the early fall. As in our religion it says that children born in the spring will bring greatness and fall being fertility just adds up to a lot of newborns.

That will be me this time next year. The thought scares me beyond imaginable. Though I have escaped it for 6 years by being a midwife, my parents have decided that I will be married by the end of summer.

My father, a prominent merchant in our community, has decided that as his only daughter, I must continue the heritage and birth soon. I have thought deeply about it and though I hate it, I’m grateful I got to live a life before I was forced to settle down. By 14 all my friends had been married off and at 17 they all had at least 2 kids.

Now I’m 19 and as my parents say “fully developed mentally and physically for marriage and children.” It disgusts me that a man most likely 2 times my age will force me to carry his seed and breed me till I have no use.

But overall at least I had the opportunity to learn to write, read, do mathematics, and have a job. Most women will never have that luxury and will die at the hands of their husband or the government too young.

My mother has been talking about the event that will be taking place of august 13th, where men and women come to find partners. She and her friends have been gossiping about what I’ll wear, what my hair will be, etc. But also about the fact that the king has announced that the 3 gods of the universe have came to our land, actually all the lands demanding the right to the kingdom. The city of Redi, my home, was last.

It is said on the 13th, the god of life, the great satoru gojo, Will reveal himself along with the other gods and become the ruler of a new world. Now what was not announced but is still believed is that he was looking for a queen, a women to give him children and have the honor of being his companion.

I am dragged out of my thoughts of the future when a blood curtailing scream that came from a town home only a few feet ahead. Another screamed followed not even 30 seconds later.

Without thinking I ran into the home and followed the screams. I had my bag with me even though I had been discharged from duty a week ago. I turned through the oak door to see a women on her side, legs spread with blood flowing on everything. “Oh my lord why isn’t a doctor here.”

I quickly put on my gloves and got out my old equipment. “Ma’am I’m going to need you to lie flat on the bed.” I really hated when women gave birth on there backs, but if they are already there you can’t change it extensively. “gojo fuck oh my I can’t do this.” I look up at her to see a girl not older then 15 lying down. “Yes you can, now please I need you to push.” When she’s pushing I start to question. Where are her parents? Why wasn’t there a doctor here helping her? Where is her husband? Why is she here all alone? It all clicks in one moment. “Ma’am you aren’t married and your parents don’t know about the pregnancy, do they.” Her eyes go wide and face pales at my words.

“No, no no no you have it all wrong I-” “don’t try to deny it, why would you be here all alone, giving birth with no doctors to help.” She quiets at my words. “Look I’m not going to report you, now I don’t know why your here but I’m going to assume your a good person. I know the shit rules they have and I’m not going to let any harm come to you or your baby.” I look her dead in the eye as her face relaxes more.

“Look imma need you to push, your almost there I can see the head.” Her hard pained cries lead to the soft cries of innocence. A small child lies in my hands, a cord connecting itself with the mother. I cut the cord and stand up bring the babe to the mother.

“I, I made that?” She asks quietly as she holds the young child in her arms. “Yes, yes you did, and I think you need a name for that boy.” Her eyes widen as she looks down at her son.

I go to the bottom of the bed and start to examine her to make sure everything is okay. A small amount of blood leaks out but nothing bad considering she pushed a human out of her. I sanitize my utensils as she breastfeeds her babe.

“You will need vitamins for you and the babe.” I turn to her, drying off my hands. “ I know” she replies without looking up. “Well I must be on my way.” I grab my bag and start to walk out the door. “Wait” I pause and turn around. “I cannot thank you enough, me and my son would not be here today if it weren’t for you.” She cradles him as tears fill her eyes. “It was not a problem, now I really must be on my way. Have a great life.”

As I walk down the path, the street lights turn on as screams of mother will still be heard throughout the night. I space out when I feel my body bump into another’s. I fall forwards and land on my hands and knees. “Are you okay?” I lift my head to see the most gorgeous man I have ever laid eyes on.

The white hair was like a cold chill on a winter night, but the electric blue eyes of summer look down upon me. Prefect lips, prefect nose, prefect face, what seems to be prefect body, prefect full wallet.

Silence consumes the air for a few seconds. “Am I dead?” I look up at the man waiting for a answer. Had I fell and hit my head so hard that my brain bled out and now I’m bowing in front of the reincarnation of a god.

“What?” Now the man’s face is completely confused and concerned. “Am. I. Dead. ”I say straight forward, not believing what is standing before me. “ uh no I don’t think so.” I lean back on my knees to see that blood drips down my palms, onto my black, knee length skirt. “Oh my we need to get you to a clinic immediately.” He rushes to get me up “ what are you talking about it’s just a scratch?”

Now it was my turn to be confused. It was a mere cut and now he thinks I’m dying? “Your bleeding at the stomach.” I look at my shirt to see blood on my chest, stomach and lower abdomen. “What but I don’t feel any-” the delivery. Well shit how do I explain this. “ oh my sir I promise that’s not mine-” “ well who’s blood is it? Are you a killer?” Shock replaces the questioning look on my face. “No no no sir promise I-“ “ then why are you covered in blood?”

“I can’t tell you.” He looks at me confused. “Then how do I know you are not a murder?” Me? A killer? That’s an insane idea but the more I look at him the more dangerous he seems. His tall frame gives him a eerie aura, his looks could get him anyone, but his personality seems off.

Checking the time it appears to be 7:42. I realize what time it and how late I am for my curfew. I was suppose to be home at 7 but from delivering a babe to being stopped by this man has put a wrench in that.

But it’s also a custome to be home before 7 for young umarried women. It’s common because during this time usually rowdy unpredictable men that can easily overpower most are drunk and unwatched. Also able bodied mothers, wives and widows are out by themself or with their partners. So when they see a lonely young women the usually assume she is unmarried. But if the wrong person sees a unmarried women out this late they will gossip around town, making the women seem unfit to wed therefore she will most likely never find a husband.

Then I realized that if someone saw me, bloody, alone, unmarried, and without reasoning they would turn me in. Looking back up at the mysterious man I realize what I will have to do to stay safe.

“Give me your jacket” I whispered

His face contorted in confusion “huh?”

People slowly stayed to stare at us, questioning looks sent our way. Suddenly I feel the weighted of his jacket on my shoulders, warming them. He pulls me into his chest and I start to rub my eyes against his black shirt to create the look of running makeup.

The sound of footsteps get closer when a voice breaks them. “Are you okay?” A man’s voice speaks. I lift my head to see a heavy set man standing with a women on his arm. A small gasp leave both of their lips when they see my face.

The white haired man tugs me closer and sighs. “Honestly, no. We have just found out we have lost our child in the womb. We had been trying for so long, but it must not have been meant to join us here. Maybe the king of the fields took interest, whatever it is they have joined the afterlife along with my parents.” He says in a calm but sad voice.

“Oh my gojo I am so sorry for your loss.” The women voice seeps with sorrow. I have always been a considerably good actor so when tears fill my eyes the couple quickly takes their leave.

People passing give pitiful looks at what seems to be a husband comforting his wife. I quickly glance to see the couple gone in which then I look up at the man.

“Beyond town there’s a place we can talk.” I grab his hand and take the lead. The street is filled with lights. After a while of walking and talking about our similar passion for knowledge, and food. We begin to discuss the idea of the stars when suddenly I was hit with the smell of fresh pastries.

I look down the street to see a sign ‘moonlight bakery.’ Along the sides are windows and painting of the god of night, Gēto Suguru.

I look up at the tall man with black sunglasses now covering his eyes. “We should get some pastries.” I point out. He looks to where my eyes lead and I immediately feel a tug on my wrist.

When we enter the shop a old lady greets us. The lights are blinding but we continue to walk to the glass case where the sweet treats lay. Hundreds of them lie together with small paper on each telling the ingredients in each.

A small sigh leaves the ladies lips. “Young love brings memories.” She says sweetly as if she’s reminiscing old memories. “How has your night been?” We both stop fiddling with each others hands. A low sigh leaves his soft luscious lips. “We found out our child was lost in the field of reeds. We had been trying for awhile.” He says with a sad smile. The ladies smile drops and is replaced with sadness.

“Oh my I’m so sorry that happened to you.” She sounds as if she’s about to cry. The attractive man’s small smile grows with a sadness in his eyes. “It shall be fine eventually. We are here to celebrate their new life in the field of reeds.”

Her face is still traumatized from the newfound information. “What shall we get darling?” His voice pulls me out of my thoughts. “I truly do not know.” I look through the glass. “Well I must take care of you, we will take 2 of everything you got.”

My eyes widen in shock, as does the ladies. “Wait I don’t have the money for that?!” I quickly answer. He looks amused, like what I had said was a joke. “Darling I am not one to take my lady out to not pay for her treats.” His smile widens to the point of where is pearls are shinning.

I have no words as she packs our sweets. Suddenly I feel a pair of soft, moist lips against the tip of my nose. Immediately my face rushes red and I hide in his shoulder. I hear him laugh along with the lady. “You two are really prefect. I wish you the best of luck with conception.” She smiles gently and waves us to us as we walk out.

Walking down the streets we eat our sweets and rate them till we reach a set of trees and bamboo. A small opening on the far right makes me grab his wrist and pull him through.

When we get out of the darkness a large flat stone is in front of us. With a sight tilt you could see the smaller rocks that surround a small pond with a steam of water falling off a rock.

The water glints in the moonlight and bounces onto the rock. I gently tug his wrist as I climb onto the large rock. When we reach the top he lifts his glasses to get a better view.

His electric blue eyes shine against the water and moon. I lay flat of the rock just thinking of the future. I feel the eyes of a person stare into my soul.

“How did you find this place?” His voice is here but his mind is somewhere else. His eyes look into the sky.

“When I was younger my mother used to work at night. One day I was exploring when I thought I saw a monster so I ran throughout town till I reach the woods. I saw a opening and ran till I found this place.” I smile at the thought of the memory

“There really was never a monster. Apparently my mother was coming after me and I saw her shadow in the light of the moon.” I laugh thinking about how I feared such small things.

I turn to see the man looking at me in what seems like awe. I stare back. His eyes travel down to my abdomen that is still covered in blood.

“What happened?” His voice low and quiet.

I heavily sigh preparing to possibly give my last speech. “I was a midwife. I loved everything I did but 3 months ago my parents told me I must marry and have children. As you probably know, a women who works that is trying to get betrothed is undesirable. So I was forced to resign.” He nods

“But that does not explain why you are covered in blood?” He says in a questioning tone. “Yes I know. Today while I was walking I heard a terrible scream in the house I was passing. I went in to see what was happening to find a girl no older then 15 in labor with no doctors. I had my tools on me so I go and help her deliver her babe. It turns out she was disowned by her parents due to being pregnant out of wedlock. I thought nothing of it till you stopped me and that’s when I realized I could be murdered for what I had done. Not knowing what you would do I thought I would tell you here. It just I could be charged with accessory to a undocumented pregnancy and unlawful birth.”

I quickly take a breathe in. Realizing I could have sealed my death. But when I look at him his eyes were wide. His face was of one of pure shock. Lips were slightly parted and the wind slowly picked up so his hair blowed perfectly.

“Your an angel.”

Now I share the face shock. “Your a truly pure being.” He says as of talking to himself. I move over and cup my hands on the side of his jaw.

“are you okay?” I ask. He dosent respond so I crawl to him. His legs are a crossed so I climb over them. “Hey stupid answer me?” He comes back to the land of the living but he looks different. He looks happier with a evil grin.

I remove my self from his lap and now we just stare at each other.

“What’s your name?” I ask quietly.

“Can I ask you a question first?” He replies slyly.

“Okay?” I say in a confused tone

He smiles more. “Actually it’s two questions.” A playful tone in his voice

“Okay?” Even more confused.

“Pick one or two” “what?” “Pick one or two” “two?”

He grins and begins. “I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors that some of the gods came to earth to rule.” I nod “well me and my friends really did come down. Your current king was setting humanity on a path to extinction so we stepped in.”

Now I’m even more confused. My eyebrows furrow and my lips fall downwards. “I plan to take the throne in august 13 and declare this my kingdom.”

Then it hits me.

“Wait are you, are you a deity…” my voice is quiet and full of fear.

“Oh darling I’m more then a deity, I’m a god” his tone is lustful and playful. His eyes pull me in more.

“Now you can ask your question.” He says in a casual manner.

“What- what is your name?” I fear and desire the answer for the question. He smirks.

“Satoru Gojo.” The breathe is took from my lungs. I couldn’t say anything. I was in front of a living god.

I immediately move off the rock and get onto my knees and lay my head flat in the ground. I feel the cold, wet mud on my bloodied hands and knees along with my head.

I close my eyes and beg for forgiveness due to my rudeness. I hear something from the rock but do not dare to open my eyes. I feel a warm hand go into the mud and pick up my dirty chin.

When my head is lifted a voice breaks the silence.

“Open your eyes darling.”

I slowly open my eyes to be met with the brillant blue eyes staring me in my eyes.

“Promise me you will never bow to me, to anyone.” His voice is dead serious. My eyes widen and I shake my head up and down. But he just shakes his head back and forth.

“Words”

“I promise I won’t bow to anyone.”

A smile breaks out on his lips. He grabs my hands and helps me up. Now we stand facing each other. Though I’m straining my neck to see his eyes. Suddenly I remember something.

“Didn’t you have two questions?”

“Well yes I did.”

Now we just stare at each other smiling.

One moment I had to look up at him but now he was on his knees.

“ A man had promised that if I met a partner in earth and married them he would play me in poker again. I know I haven’t known you for long but marry me. I will treat you like a queen and you will never experience unwanted pain again.”

I stare at him

“You don’t even know my name mr and you expect me to marry you.” I say in a playful tone.

“Well may I know this beauty’s name?”

I blush “y/n l/n”

His smirks grows “well miss y/n will you marry me”

I fake sigh “well I guess mr gojo.” His smile was contagious.

Suddenly I’m off the ground and I’m mid air. We laughing. When we make eye contact he looks at me before pulling me in for a kiss.

I quickly push back and we both fall to the ground. “Oh my I’m so sorry it’s just that. Uh well I don’t really know how to…” quietness is in the air.

“Have you never kissed someone?” He asks honestly. “Well no, it’s prominent that we try to not till we are betrothed.” My face flushes at the inexperience I have when it comes to things like this.

“Hey it’s okay I’ll teach you!” He crawls to me and pulls me into his lap. Now his legs hang off the rock and I sit on his lap.

“Ok so your practically going to put your lips on mine and I’ll take it from there. Got it?” His eyes search for a answer. “Uh yeah okay but do I need to do anything with my lips?”

He smiles lightly “nope.” He grabs my waist and pulls me closer to him. Our noses are touching and we are dead set in each others eyes. “Can I kiss you?” The whisper comes from his lips.

“Yes.” Is all I need to say before our lips collide. The warmth of ourselves pore into the other. My hands climb his body till I find his soft hair and keep my hands there.

We slowly pull away and just stare, drool covered my lips.

Small pants fill the air.

“Let’s go to our house, wife.”

——-

Please do not repost with my permission😻 also copyright

[sevilemar]

I've just come back from another DnD session I co-GMed with a player and friend. We have been co-GMing for a few sessions now, ever since our party arrived at this refugee city.

We talked about our ideas for the city twice, and created a rough plot outline and who-does-what, as well as the idea of a GM PC that is played by whoever is not narrating at the time. I went home and made a character sheet for him, prepared my encounters, and then we just went for it.

It is awesome! The first session, we changed after the break and stuck to it, but the next session in the city proper, we started switching back and forth more seemlessly, adding little details to each other's narration, taking over NPCs the other made on the spot, surprising each other with backstory facts for our GM PC (which he named Orange because I completely forgot to put a name on the sheet), etc.

Today, for example, I described three teenagers who went through the tent city outside the city wall and disappeared the garbage that was left there with a wand (it's Eberron). A player was interested and started a conversation, and then my co-GM came up with two other kids who searched the garbage for salvable scraps of metal because they were working at Master Bremford's forge, and thus, the New Cyre Garbage Wars were born.

My co-GM added a third party to it because it fit with an idea he had a few months back for a little sideplot. The players took the hook, he improvised the fuck out of it, and now our party apparently wants to create a scrap vendor imperium in New Cyre. Or a drug cartel. Or both.

I love developing the city with him like this, and I love the little surprises we gift each other. I also love his creative ideas. I had a new idea for the overarching story yesterday evening (which he doesn't know because he'll probably go back to being a player when we leave the city), and I needed him to include a few key information in his parts of the story. I tried to describe what I needed in an email, but it's a very limited way of communication, and also really short notice.

He came up with a way to let me as Orange describe it instead, in a way that fit the lore we already established, and also the villain they are currently collecting information on. And he didn't make it cheap for the players either, letting them choose how many valuable ressources they would spent on it. I had no idea, and I tried to make it as big and significant as I could, which was a lot of fun*.

After the session, one of the players implied that we must have really good communication going on behind the scenes, which baffled both of us. Because like I said, we talked twice about general ideas, and send maybe two emails with a short request or clarification. He didn't even know what kind of subclass or specialisation I chose for Orange, until I handed him the character sheet and the spell cards at the table. I didn't know his name or how he looked until he introduced himself to the other players. I'm glad we're on the same page about it, though, because it suddenly makes GMing a lot more fun for me^^

*If you're curious about the specifics: The villain is a Necromancer who visited the camp our heroes are in atm three years ago. After a desastrous expedition into the Mournland, the residents of the camp back then took some of her research and asked her to leave. My co-GM told the party that Orange had read her research back then, promptly forgot it, and the writing also vanished after he read it. Then he told them that a charge from their Salve of Greater Restoration would make Orange remember one piece of research. The salve has ten charges, and it was given to them as a ressource to use when they travel to the Mournlands, a cursed land where flesh beings cannot survive for long. They decided to use two charges, and I made a list and let them roll what they would get. And because it was a steep price, I took great care to make it good, helpful information, too. Also, I gave my best 'possessed writing' act at the table, because it's fun^^

[nanasparadise]

Love letters from the Stardust Crusaders (yandere, gender-neutral reader, everyone lives AU)

Summary: A year after the battle in Egypt, you receive a letter from one of your fellow crusaders, who has been too clingy for your taste...

TW: spoilers for Stardust Crusaders, toxic relationship, implied stalking, implied burglary, threats, implied age gap (Joseph), mentions of violence, hints of cheating, MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY/MINORS DNI

Disclaimer: I don’t speak Arabic, so if I did a mistake, please forgive me! And don’t be afraid to correct me (in a polite way), help is appreciated!

Jotaro and Kakyoin have been aged up!

I do not condone any yandere behaviour in real life. 

Dear Y/N,

It's been quite some time, huh? And yet, I still can't get you out of my head. I know, what a surprise for little old me, I should be forgetting instead of remembering. But lately, I've been thinking about Egypt and every tiny detail of our journey, especially the ones regarding you. You truly are unforgettable...

How has life been treating you? I've heard you're doing well, at least financially, and I'm glad to hear that. You know I'd always treat you if you needed it, you just have to tell me. There's no such thing as too expensive for me when it comes to my darling.

I've also been told you're in a relationship. Well, congrats to that lucky one. I hope they enjoy you while they can.

You must be thinking 'Mr Joestar, how can you say such things?'

It's just that it's the truth, I'd never lie to you. I'm aware that you rejected my advances back then, but I can't do this anymore.

I can't wake up every morning to a woman I don't hold love for anymore, not when I know you're out there. If our trip taught me anything, then it's that life is unpredictable, and so is death. And after being on the brink of the latter, I've realised that if I have an opportunity, I need to seize it. And with you, my love, there is one.

You find a plane ticket to New York City attached to this letter. Please, don't be a fool and take heart as well. I really would love to discuss our future relationship in person. After all, I can't wait to see that cute face of yours again.

Oh, and just a quick reminder in case you choose to ignore my offer: I have many sources ready to keep me updated, honey. One way or another, we will meet, I'd just prefer it if it were on friendlier terms. You know I like to be a nice guy, but don't assume my kindness for granted. And I'd hate it if you had to learn that the hard way...

See you soon, pumpkin.

Joseph Joestar.

Y/N,

If you weren't such a stupid bullhead, I wouldn't need to write a letter. I hate this corny shit so much. Yet, you leave me no choice.

Not answering to my calls? Not sending me any sign of life? Just cutting me out of your existence like an ungrateful brat? After I've saved your life, that's how you want to treat me?

Good grief.

You're the first person I've ever opened up to like that. It feels like shit to be this vulnerable, this intimate. Especially when you call me creepy after all my efforts.

Do you think it's fun that you always invade my thoughts? I can't concentrate on anything else anymore. And your little ignoring game isn't helping me one bit, you’re just adding fuel to the fire.

Of course I constantly need to check on you when you're that ridiculously weak. Seriously, you would have died the first minute an enemy Stand user had attacked you if it weren't for me. Your Stand is just pitiable.

Giving you my protection is the best thing that could happen to you. Despite Dio's death, there's still so much evil out there. And it's not a fucking crime to look after your loved ones, even if you want to paint it that way.

So pick up your damn phone the next time I call or you'll witness the full potential of my power. I don't mind being rough if it means to grant your security in the end.

Kujo Jotaro.

Cher/Chère Y/N,

Isn't a letter just the most beautiful way of communication? You know that I'm a big romantic at heart, and what is more intimate than a love letter?

Being back home after our adventure can only be enjoyable to a certain degree if I'm this lonely.

It's spring again and not only do the blossoms sprout again, but so does love. Everywhere in Paris I see so many couples strolling around the Seine and I can't help myself but long for you. Wouldn't it be nice to share a tender kiss with you in the City of Lights? This thought alone makes my heart flutter and my cheeks blush.

You've told me before multiple times you'd prefer to stay friends. Mon amour, why not give us a chance? I know your heart yearns to be with me, you just need to give in. You don't need to be acting shy around me, you know I'd do anything for you in the blink of an eye if you just showed your true feelings towards me.

By the time you read this letter, I'm already near you to finally take you back in my arms where you belong. Isn't that sweet? And I know if I hug and kiss you just long enough, you'll see that we're meant to be together.

Ton preux chevalier,

Jean-Pierre Polnareff.

My dear Y/N,

As I was closing my shop today, I couldn't resist the urge to do a Tarot reading about us. It was as if the cards were singing your name.

I couldn't believe my eyes when the two cards that fell out were the Star and the Lovers.

I know you always doubted that a relationship could blossom between us, but if even the universe tells us to create a new start as a couple, who are we to deny that?

The events of our journey left me pondering. I remember when in a life or death situation, you told me you would have loved to explore Egypt with me under different circumstances. Why not do it now? I'd show you all the wonders of my home country, everything you want to see, you'll have it in the palm of your hands.

My habibi/habibty, if you wish to not see me in Egypt, I'll come to you, then. I've been waiting for so long to meet you again, yet it hasn't happened. You might not understand now that it's the best for us to reunite, but I do. I know that I'll protect you with my life and will offer you my loyalty, just like in the past. I'll be the one on whom you can lean on, no matter how tough life might be. I've already proved that to you more than once during our adventure.

And that's why you need me. Even the universe agrees with me.

Until we meet again, my sun.

Muhammad Avdol.

To my darling Y/N,

Have you changed your address again? It seems my previous letters were left unread. But that's alright, I made sure this one will be hand-delivered to your new home, somewhere you can't unsee it.

I miss you.

I miss seeing your smile again, how it lights up the room and the hollowness inside me.

I miss looking at your face, how it changes into every expression. The photographs of you sleeping are dreadfully static.

I miss touching you, how you react to my skin on yours. Even if you flinch away from me, it's better than nothing.

I need to see you again, really see you, not just observing you from afar. How am I supposed to continue living after everything we've been through without your kindness and company? I thought I could go back to my initial solitary state, but no. Not after having met you.

So please, return to me, Y/N. Don't ignore me again.

After all, you can't get rid of me. I know how to enter your new home, too. Doors and windows are awfully easy to open if you have a Stand like Hierophant Green.

Your dearly beloved,

Kakyoin Noriaki.

[jupitermelichios]

Lets talk Spike’s love interests

I’ve been prodding at possible sequel ideas for my Spike x John Constantine fic, and it got me thinking about Spike’s romantic and sexual history, and I have Thoughts™ so I guess you’re all getting meta.

Angel/Angelus

I know is isn’t necessarily a popular opinion, but I absolutely think Angelus and Spike were fucking for basically the entire 15 or so years the Whirlwind was together.

I also don’t think it was as fucked up as you’d necessarily expect.

Spike is genuinely pleased to have Angelus back in season 2, at least to begin with, so there must have been something more than just resentment between them, and I think that something was kinky sex. Angelus is a sadistic bastard who’s idea of BDSM probably looks like torture to an outsider, but Vampires heal fast, and while I think Spike’s more a pure submissive than he is a masochist, I also don’t think he minded the rough treatment at all, especially not if Angelus took the time to build a clear distinction between play time and any of the bickering from the rest of their lives, and I think that’s something Angelus would care about, because he also needs that distinction. He can’t walk around just being the person who’s attracted to Spike in his daily life, not without fundamentally altering his own self-image. So they have boundaries, they have pretty compatible kinks, they have accelerated healing to keep Angelus from fucking up too badly.

Aftercare is probably non-existant, but the plus of them all living communally is that Darla and Dru are there to pick up the slack. (Darla and Spike have a singular lack of relationship in canon, and which is mostly a feature of Darla not really being a character in any meaningful sense until pretty late into Angel, but I like the idea that once he stops trying to turn her into a mother figure, they actually get on pretty well. They don’t have sex, and Darla ultimately disproves of him on religious grounds, but she can’t resist fussing over him a little bit in her own way, including cleaning him up and getting him a meal after Angelus has got bored and wondered off to massacre a village or whatever it is he does for fun. Her interactions with Dru suggest she quite enjoys taking that matriarchial role with her family, indulgent and fond and the ultimate unquestionable authority.)

Ensoulled Angel and unsoulled Spike have sex exactly once, in that weird liminal space where Angel has his soul back but hasn’t left the Whirlwind yet and is going slowly insane while trying to pretend everything is still normal. It’s pretty tame by their usual standards, because the idea of doing any of the shit Angelus used to do makes him feel sick (he never really figures out that the kinky sex isn’t the actual bad thing Angelus did to Spike, because ensoulled Angel is messed up about a lot of shit but none more than his family). Despite that, it’s the only time that leaves Spike actually fucked up, Angel blowing hot and cold, moving the boundaries every time Spike thinks he's figured out what game they're playing, letting him go deep and then refusing to actually be his Dom. It's bad enough that Dru actually warns Angel off, which ends up being of the catalysts for him figuring out he needs to leave.

This may also be the source of Spike’s issues with men, but I suspect that that has more to do with his mother and noticable lack of a father than it does Angel. (Although Angel disappearing in China probably reinforces every natural suspicion he was already harbouring). Either way, every person Spike cares deeply about is a woman. It’s one of the reasons I don’t like Spike/Xander as a ship, because that requires Spike to care about another man in a way he just... doesn’t, in canon. Even as I'm writing a version of Spike owning his bisexuality and falling for a man, I don't think that's changed much, he's just mentally ammended his definition of acceptable people to 'women and also John' in his head, and even getting him to do that much took 130,000 words of branching timeline character growth. That's one of the reasons I don't think Spike & Angel would ever work as a couple outside the confines of their family, for all that they probably screw around a few times during/post Angel S4. With Dru and Darla there, Spike can follow their lead, (and he probably hates men at least a bit less at that point, which helps). When it's just the two of them, no Dru to follow and no Darla to lay down the law, his mental pigeonhole for Angel is a lot less about family, and a lot more about masculinity.

Drusilla

Oh Spike and Dru, I love them and their relationship so much, and it’s so fucked up.

Lets start with the fact that Spike wants a domme and that’s a role Dru can play - when the stars of her mental constallations happen to align correctly - but it’s very much playing. Spike is not playing, Spike is deadly fucking serious. I’m honestly not sure if Dru knows that or not, not that it matters particularly when it’s not something she can give him either way.

Then there’s the fact that Dru wants, and frequently needs, a daddy. And not just a daddydom. She needs an authority figure to act as a fixed point she can orbit around and rebel against (Dru has a complicated relationship with authority figures), and Spike does an impressively good job considering, but it doesn’t seem to come naturally.

More seriously, there’s the fact that while Dru does genuiely like Spike as well as loving him, a rarity among the vampire relationships we see, she doesn’t ultimately respect him. I think when Angel and Darla were still around, she thought of Spike as something like her fellow Little, or possibly the beloved family pet to her own precious daughter. He was her playmate. When Darla said ‘no, you can’t go and steal dresses from bond street we’re keeping a low profile’, Angel might have egged her on but it was Spike who actually went with her, and it was Spike who tried to keep Darla from scolding. (Are you noticing a running theme here? My Darla is the only actual adult, surrounded by people who never finished mentally growing up). Once their ‘parents’ have left, it’s just Dru and Spike and someone has to stop Dru doing something that will put her in serious danger (I think the family all underestimate her in this respect specifically, but given her penchent for murdering children, which tends to attract attention, it’s not an unfounded concern) so now he’s not her fun playmate anymore, or not as often as he used to be, he’s the one trying to keep them safe and under the radar, the one trying to manage her actual mental health issues (and despite the goth manic pixie dream girl-ness of her, she does have very real, very serious, mental health issues.)

He thinks she’s a goddess and loves her in probably the closest to genuine healthy romantic love we see from a vampire, which isn’t saying much admittedly, but he’s definitely bottling up some resentment for the ways she isn’t what he needs. He wouldn’t fixate on Buffy the way he does if there wasn’t at least a part of him that’s unhappy. Meanwhile Dru loves him but needs him to be at least two people at any given time, and is disappointed when he can’t manage it.

Could they be fixed with marriage counselling? Yes, I think they actually could, marriage counselling and maybe an open relationship, or at least some friends, would do them the world or good. They can’t provide everything one another needs, but no one person ever can, the issue is that they only have each other. If they had other people to lean on for the things they can’t give one another, and if they learned to actually communicate, I think they could be genuinely happy. Dru's lack of respect for Spike, Spike's lack of trust in Dru, they're solvable problems that will never get solved because every joss wheadon character is terrible at actually communicating.

Harmony

Every Spike and Harmony scene is either hilarious or heartbreaking, often both at once. The really stupid thing is that I legitimately think they could have been friends if they didn’t keep trying to date. Spike can be a catty bitch sometimes, and he doesn’t have anyone he can let that side out of himself out around. Also despite being a pretty horrible person when she was alive, Harmony was absolutely also the drunk girl earnestly telling you to dump your shitty boyfriend in the club bathroom, and Spike could use some of that in his life. And Harmony would adore having a mentor, she’s so hungry for validation. They even probably like a lot of the same movies.

As it is though, Spike’s scenes with her are essentially him trying to LARP being a straight man, or what he thinks a straight man is filtered through victorian morality, demoic possession, and Angelus. There’s definitely a whole lot of nasty internalised shit going on in the fact that he responds to Dru telling him he’s not masculine enough by trying to pretend to be straighter, more dominant, and less kinky, than he presents himself in any other relationship.

(And just as much horrible internalised shit in the fact that Harmony behaves the same with him as every other love interest she gets, and it's not at all the way she behaves when she's actually just being herself.)

There's absolutely no universe in which they could have a healthy romantic relationship, or even healthy casual sex (they're both so very very bad at casual), but there definitely is a universe in which they sit in the lobby of Wolfram and Hart drinking pink wine from corporate branded mugs and talking shit about Angel, and I wish that was the universe that had made it to TV.

Faith

Okay, so this is like two hints in S7 and not an official love interest, but it was going to be. Those hints are in there because there was a Spike & Faith spin-off show in the works that never ended up happening, but I care nothing for the petty concerns of canon so I'm going to talk about it anyway!

Could they have had a healthy non-destructive romantic relationship? God no, in absolutely no universe. Faith's definitely-present-if-never-precisely-canon untreated BPD and Spike's 100%-canon insecurity and lack of emotional skills would collide in the worst way. But on the other hand, would every interaction they have be more erotically charged than the best porn ever made? Absolutely also yes.

If Spike was actually capable of having casual sex without falling in love, they would probably have the best sex of any of these possible relationships. They don't need the same things from sex, or kink, but in a casual setting that would probably work in their favour. Faith would absolutely enjoy playing Spike's domme, but it would only be playing, and in a universe where they managed to keep things casual that wouldn't be the issue it is with Dru. And Faith would freak the fuck out if anyone tried to service!top her for serious, but the fact that that's not Spike's preferred role would keep things casual in a way that might let her actually start learning to accept care and give up some control.

It would all go up in flames eventually either way, because of the afore-mentioned ways their different mental health needs would conflict and the fact that I'm not entirely sure mental-health professionals who aren't horror-movie-trope-assylum-orderlies even exist in the Buffy universe, but while it lasted I think they would actually be good for one another.

And, you know, they could bond over both being really really thirsty for Buffy.

Buffy

Oh Spuffy. I never shipped it and yet I understand completely why so many other people did. They're just so compelling together, the way good tragedy always is.

I know this is going to be contraversial with some people, but I don't think Buffy loves Spike. I don't think she even likes him, although that's sort of moot given that she doesn't really know him, and doesn't show any real interest in getting to know him. She needs something he can provide, and that's really as far as their relationship goes, for her.

Which isn't a criticism, exactly. If they were on the same page about that, there would be nothing wrong with her using him that way. (By the end of season 7, they actually mostly are on the same page, which is why I prefer those interactions to anything that came before, no matter how I feel about the season as a whole). The issue is that Buffy not only has no idea where to start with healthy communication, I don't think she even knows that it's a skill she's lacking, and even if she wasn't, it probably wouldn't occur to her to apply it to Spike.

I should also stress, I do think Buffy is very emotionally immature in a lot of ways, but I don't think that's her fault. Living the life she has, it's no wonder she doesn't know how healthy relationships are supposed to work. Hell, the best role model she's got is Joyce, who despite the bait and switch they pulled in season five is a consistently terrible parent for the first three seasons. One of Buffy's two main role-models of emotional maturity is a woman who kicked her sixteen year old daughter out of the house for being, essentially, born different, and then punishes her for having left once she allows her to come back. (Seriously, like half the emotional beats of season 3 are people being angry that Buffy left town, and it's never once address that her own mother literally threw her own and made her homeless minutes after the most traumatic experience of Buffy's life up to that point. I have a lot of strong feelings about Joyce and absolutely none of them are possitive). Her dad sees his daughters once a year, and eventually even that gets to be too much quality time for him. Giles loves her, but it also takes him five seasons to stop thinking of her as a sacrificial lamb, or maybe a scapegoat, and even once he admits to himself he loves her that's still not enough to make him actually say the damn words. It is in no way Buffy's fault that she's fucked the hell up, but that doesn't negate the fact that she's fucked the hell up.

As she is in canon, I don't think Buffy is capable of having a healthy romantic relationship with anyone. She needs time, and space, and a boat-load of therapy to start unpicking all the bullshit she's been taught, by her mom, by her dad, by Giles, by Angel, and for that to happen the world would need to stop nearly ending every other weekend.

The question of whether Spike loves Buffy is thornier. I'm not sure he likes her all that much more than she likes him, although he definitely knows her better. He respects her more than she respects him, and he understands her more. Whether he actually likes her... hard to say. I don't think he's lying when he says he loves her, but I also think he uses her as something like the methodone to Dru's heroine. She's emotionally safer, just by virtue of being more stable, and the fact of her being the Slayer lets him justify to himself why she deserves the plinth he places her on in his mind, but ultimately she's still up on that pedestal that used to belong to Dru.

This isn't an Edward Cullen situation though, or even Angel, I don't think he'd hate her if he ever actually realised she had feet of clay, but I don't know whether his feelings for her would survive it. Maybe, because Spike is nothing if not loyal to the people he loves, but I don't think so.

I also think, despite the element of hero worship, his attraction to her is fairly grounded in reality, and post-series, will fade naturally into the kind of fondness people have for old flames. It will take more time that it would for most people, both because he's immortal and because she's the reason he got his soul back, but it will happen. There will be a point, a hundred years from now, when someone asks him who Buffy was and he'll respond truthfully 'just a girl I used to know', and that's not a bad thing.

And then there's the biggest question of all: could they have worked? Is there a universe out there somewhere where they actually built something that lasted?

I think my answer to that is... maybe. I think it's possible. I also think it's vanishingly unlikely. There's probably one universe where it happens. There probably aren't five.

They don't have much in common, when you get right down to it. They don't share a taste in music, books, movies, friends... The only hobby they have in common is fighting. They could probably be having better sex than they do in canon if they actually talked about anything, but they still wouldn't have many kinks in common. They're very different people, with different needs. There was a moment when those needs alligned, when Buffy needed unconditional support and Spike needed a cause to pledge his heart and soul to. They anchored close to one another while they weathered the storm, traded for the supplies they needed to survive, and then passed on, each going their own way.

I think it's possible that makes them the healthiest relationship on this list.

[saltoftheao3]

Goodbye + a few words for the road

(Edited to add: The blog will still be semi-active (mostly inactive) as the founding mod is still around. Thank you Mod Salt for taking over and being an amazing force for fandom positivity these past few years ~ Mod Saltiest)

Hey folks, this blog has been inactive for a while now as my life has been very busy and my interests have changed, so here's me offering official closure at least.

First of all: It has been a fun few years chatting, having debates, inspiring and helping each other out around our shared passion for fanfiction. I really enjoyed this form of interaction and was often moved, amused and empowered by our exchanges. I look back to this entire time with you with a fond smile. Thank you for your kindness, patience and enthusiasm.

And since i'm here, i want to use my reach one last time to share some personal thoughts - please indulge me, i won't bore you.

What is it about writing fanfiction that feels so empowering to so many of us?

When i was a child and young teenager i experienced stories as something closed-off, unchangeable, a product of great minds that, yes, i could and did vicariously enjoy, but of which i was forever the passive recipient. I was allowed in the fantastical playground of a storyteller's mind, but i was there as a guest, i could look but not play. I wasn't even aware playing was an option.

But with fanfiction ... somehow my entire perspective on storytelling changed. My relationship to stories moved away from mere consumption to a desire to make it different, to make it mine. Suddenly there was a space for my previously vague, unformed ideas, and an incentive to explore them.

Confronted with polished, glossy professional stories, I now saw possibilities. What if this character fell in love with the same gender, experienced trivial domestic bliss, came to grip with their childhood trauma? And i could make this possibilities reality through my own writing, bend the narrative to cater to my taste and interests. I was an active participant in the process of creating reality through words. And sure, the product was rough, awkward, mediocre at times - but it was mine, it held something of me. And sometimes it entertained and thrilled and moved readers from all over the world that happened to stumble upon it.

Online communities allowed me to realize that we can reach others, relate to each other, move others, that our voices are unique and interesting, if only we care to speak. A pen, a laptop, and we can make as much fucking sandcastles as we want to, tell the stories we want to tell, that are ours to tell. No one can do that in our place.

And if you've nodded along to this trail of thought; if you agree with this logic and can relate to that feeling of empowerment; then i want you to understand that this can be applied to all aspects of life.

This dreadful, gray concrete wall on your street that fills you with gloom? Why endure its depressing sight when you can grab a spray can and remake it into something colorful and joyful, reshape that wall into something you actually care to look at and that may bring others joy too.

Rewrite that story.

The wasteland next to your neighborhood that's currently hosting weed and trash and that the municipality doesn't want to take care of? Why accept it as it is, if you can envision better possibilities? A shovel, a wheelbarrow, some seeds, a few helping hands, the internet to guide you, and you have the first steps to an urban garden beloved by bees, butterflies and birds, and providing fresh fruit and vegs to you and your neighbors.

Sandcastle, build that fucking sandcastle.

Your workplace where everyone is treated like shit and your rights are threatened? Are you going to accept the narrative that things have to be that way? That there's nothing you can do, except maybe vote? What's to stop you from reshaping your workplace so it caters to your needs? Colleagues at your back, help from the union, and you can bargain for better work conditions, modify the entire workplace. No one is going to do that for you.

Transform the narrative.

The local coal mine that is tearing through the earth to dig up tons upon tons of fossil combustible, actively threatening all life on earth? Can you really accept that as a given, as something no one has might on, except maybe some remote politician? Or can you join a group fighting for climate justice and block the shit out of that mine so it's forced to stop the destruction?

Redesign the entire game.

The step from writing fanfiction to blocking a coal mine may seem far-fetched, but at its core it's a matter of how we interact with the world we live in. See how it all ties into each other? How once you've noticed you have the power to actively reshape things around you, whether stories or your real-life environment, you realize that everything can be changed, and that everything probably must be changed, too?

Listen.

Friends, hard times are ahead. Times have been hard for a lot of us for a long while now. With the climate crisis upon us and world governments eager to maintain this deadly status-quo of economic growth and environmental destruction no matter the costs, it's up to us to take action, fight the powers in place and change the lives we lead. We can't rely on politicians, we can't rely on big business, we can't rely on someone more smart and capable to emerge and fix things. No one's gonna come. We have to start where we stand, teach each other and ourselves what to do, and get shit done.

It will be difficult, and it will be tough and it will be scary, but we have each other, we have this wonderful medium that allows us to find each other all over the planet, hear each other's voices and organize on an unprecedented scale. We are creative, and numerous and bold, and we will be reckoned with. Because help won't come from above, and we have to stop waiting, hoping and campaigning for it. Let's invest our energy where it really matters, and that's not a mere cross on a ballot every few years.

Being an active participant in the fight for a better life, no matter how harrowing that might sometimes be, is so much better than enduring crisis after crisis with only the dishonest voices of the powerful to lead you through them. And the crises will come. Covid is only the start. You will not be forever able to keep your head down and abide the rules, not if you want to maintain your personal integrity. I repeat: keeping your head down will not be an option forever. So why not choose to act of your own impulse?

Friends, change is coming and there will be choices to face sooner or later. Questions that will demand answers. Can I accept the status quo? Can I accept the dominant narrative? Can I accept indignities and injustice, carried out against me or sometimes in my name? Can I accept the climate crisis and environmental destruction taking place under my nose?

Talk to your friends. Find your answers. Find the drive for change.

Friends, the world is yours to shape. The story is yours to tell. Be aware of your own power, and use it for good.

Friends, be brave. The time is now. Good luck on your way.

Love,

Salt