#this has been a really interesting playthrough for me because my feelings on many of these worlds have changed drastically over the years

[curioussubjects]

i started my mourn watch playthrough the other day, and so far it's exactly what i wanted from the veil jumper origin. don't get me wrong, im loving the mourn watcher origin, i just wish a veil jumper rook had gotten a similar treatment. honestly, this might just be my biggest complaint about veilguard.

the special interactions when you reach the necropolis really make you feel like a part of the faction. emmrich has so much special dialogue with a mourn watch rook and he doesn't treat you like you're ignorant of knowledge you should have. instead, he takes your knowledge for granted, based on your likely rank in the watch, and talks to you like a peer. there's also a real sense of kinship between him and rook as fellow necromances dealing with a world that largely misunderstands them and finds their art off-putting.

i also liked the familiarity between rook, myrna, and vorgoth. they're not as close as rook and the crows, for instance, but that makes sense considering the dynamic of the different factions.

meanwhile, as a veil jumper it seems like strife and irelin barely know rook, and bellara talks to you as if you're completely unfamiliar with the workings of arlathan. playing as a mourn watcher now, i barely noticed a difference in dialogue/interaction between rook and the veil jumpers. or even that much difference in how a veil jumper rook behaves in arlathan forest versus a non-veil jumper rook.

it's a huge disappointment too because i can see so many ways that the veil jumpers could've been more developed, letting rook shine regardless of lineage and class, and without overshadowing bellara:

rooks who are tinkerers and can "yes, and" bellara with their knowledge and enthusiasm, historian rooks who are curious about ancient elves and are more focused on the culture than the relics, fade nerd rooks who really care about the metaphysical wonkery in arlathan forest, explorer rooks who really know their way around the forest despite all its weirdness. real missed opportunities here!

and while the veil jumpers aren't as close knit as the crows or the watchers, maybe there could've been more npcs with ambient dialogue who have worked with rook before, or more general commiserating between veil jumpers and their experiences in arlathan forest. i also think it could've been really interesting to lean into strife being strict with rook and irelin being an actual friend who goes behind his back to keep rook in the loop or something.

seriously, bioware, what the hell.

i'd be curious to hear from players who did the other origins. are they as well crafted as the crows and mourn watch origins or are they like the veil jumpers?

[masteraqua]

alright, as promised, here's my list of the disney worlds in kh1, ranked from favorite to least favorite!

Atlantica: structurally, this world is perfect. it’s not too long, there’s minimal backtracking, and the way it expands the player’s understanding of the universe through king triton is *chefs kiss*. i will take any excuse to listen to pat carroll and jodi benson

Wonderland: loooove how creative and layered this world is, there’s nothing else like it. it’s the perfect choice to introduce the disney worlds and make you feel like you’re not in kansas anymore. and then right as you start to get comfortable, BAM, the main character gets kidnapped in the middle of her own story

Neverland: the way this world is integrated into the plot is excellent. seeing riku and kairi here always has me on the edge of my seat and the whole concept of shadow sora is ingenious. the only reason this world isn’t ranker higher is because there are too many rooms that look the same

Monstro: everything about this scenario is cool, from the story actually beginning in traverse town with pinocchio committing petty theft to the flashbacks of sora and riku’s childhood to getting eaten by a giant goddamn SPACE WHALE. i think i love this world actually, i’m moving it up the list

Deep Jungle: i have mixed feelings on this world. on the one hand, there is WAY too much backtracking and the clunky physics are at their worst here. but on the other hand, the conflict between sora and his new companions is surprisingly compelling, and, most importantly, the VIBES are IMMACULATE *bongo drums intensify*

Olympus Coliseum: what this world lacks in size it makes up for in fun character dynamics. love the cast, love the tournaments, love cloud's little arc. but the cerberus fight can rot in hades, it’s probably my least favorite boss in the game

Halloween Town: this world has a lot of charm to be sure, but it also feels very disconnected from the story, almost to the point of distraction. even sora doesn't seem very enthused to be here. oogie boogie as a giant haunted house is the fun kind of nightmare fuel tho

Hundred-Acre Wood: i feel bad putting this so far down the list. i love the idea of this world and i quite like the execution too. the minigames just aren’t very strong in this game unfortunately

Agrabah: idk, this world just kinda falls flat to me and it’s hard to explain why. it seems to be more interested in cramming in as many callbacks to the movie as possible than in being novel or compelling. also there are too many boss fights

[pearikp]

It's said that the only way to access Mhin's red choice is by choosing the Alchemist background, and that fact alone has me thinking about how the origin stories will actually impact the course of the game at full release. I wouldn't assume that you have to choose a certain origin to get a "good" or "bad" ending for a specific character, but (as stated by RSS directly) different origin stories will allow the main character to connect differently with each of the main five love interests.

Obviously, this isn't revolutionary, but I wanted to touch on which origins I think will be best suited for each route, based solely on scraps from the demo lol

For Kuras, I think the Alchemist and the Unnamed suit him the best. The former really comes from the fact that Ais' relationship chart suggests Kuras likes to ramble about alchemy, and because it has a lot to do with his role as a doctor, I would assume it opens up a lot of opportunities for him to connect with the Alchemist MC. I am more convinced of the latter based on the actual content of the demo. If you played the Unnamed origin, you may remember when the MC states that something about Kuras "nags" at them, "like a half-formed memory". This small line can obviously allude to Kuras not being human (and the Unnamed MC can pick up on it because of their sensitivity to the supernatural), or it could also imply that maybe this background gives the MC and Kuras a deeper sort of association with one another. I also encourage you to consider the dynamic of an excommunicated oracle in love with an excommunicated divine eldritch being.

It shocks no one that the Alchemist is probably the best route for Leander, and I maybe want to say the Hound could possibly be a good option in the future. The Alchemist can pinpoint exactly what about Leander's magic abilities makes him powerful, and obviously, this mutual connection will probably allow for plenty of unique interactions in his route. Sit on the fact that the MC had been mentored (manipulated) by an ex-Senobium mage, only to fall right back into the hands of another (pseudo-Senobium-affiliated) mage with sketchy intentions and big secrets... hmmm interestinggg... As for the Hound, I realize (admittedly upon limited playthroughs with this origin), that the dialogue never really changes for Leander's scenes. However, he is still an enigmatic socialite running a cult-gang, so surely the Hound will have some unique thoughts on Leander in his route and may eventually be able to see through this "nice guy" facade that Vere is so insistent he's parading around with? Just a thought.

As for my thoughts on Vere, I somehow have many and none at the same time. The one I'm pretty certain about is the Alchemist because they have unique dialogue acknowledging that Vere's collar is enchanted. I think the Hound may also work with his route, but I'm only basing that on the unique dialogue after the first encounter with Vere, wondering how he managed to pickpocket them without a sign, tell, or slip-up. The Hound has good social intuition, which is at least somewhat useful in dealing with Vere and his contradictory personality.

Ais comes naturally to the Unnamed, having an abundance of unique lines towards him more than the other characters. Not only does the Unnamed MC feel uneasy and hear unnatural sounds leading up to the Seaspring, but they also are the only one out of the three origins who has a distinct connection to "groupminds". The main character also notes that his tattoo (relating to Ocudeus) almost looks like it's moving. Similarly to Kuras, I like to think of the dynamic between a runaway ex-oracle crossing paths with a demonic being with cult-like worshipers... I predict the Hound will also suit Ais' route, based on how extensive their unique dialogue of Ais' natural leadership skills is. This origin is also the only one that actually details why his "gang leader" status contradicting the lack of an actual gang is so strange. The Hound comes from a more directly rugged life, and Ais takes an interest in the MC being feisty and defiant, so I'd guess that'll come into play somehow.

Back to square one on this whole overexplained talking point, Mhin obviously has some special connection to the Alchemist (or vice versa), if it wasn't obvious by the fact that Mhin's only red choice in the demo so far is only available with the Alchemist background. I think the Alchemist's unique connection to the Senobium through their mentor may come up, as Mhin's bio page says that they like the Senobium. The bio page also says they enjoy conducting alchemical experiments, which will connect the two even more. Once again, I think the Hound will also suit Mhin's route, based on little evidence and mostly just because Mhin and the Hound have similar vibes.

All of that said, I want to reiterate that I'm not under the impression that one origin will give you better or worse endings than the others, but rather unique choices and extra details based on their strengths. Regardless of how well one origin pairs with a LI, I will still probably be playing through each route with my own biased favorite (the Unnamed, if you were curious (I know you were not)). At the end of the day, it allows us to replay the game over and over to see what special changes and choices are available, so that will be very exciting.

[thewarinourstarwars]

So everyone talks about (on Exocolonist Reddit at least) how their first run sucked and was deeply unsatisfying. But I’d like to talk about mine, one I feel was bittersweet and set the tone well for my future playthroughs.

My first Sol was interested in the humanities from the start, in history and philosophy and culture. This was what sold me on the game, that these things were considered important for the colony's future.

My first Sol had no augment, my favorite setting in the whole game. As a disabled person, I felt really represented by having this option and ever since, I have played nearly every Sol with no augment (except a few cycles with Calm Temperament but shhh)

Tammy was my childhood best friend, although I was very split between her and Dys.

When Tammy died, I instantly reloaded to try again--and so was given the ability right out the gate to save her. Of course, her father still died and the pixie beans still happened and my mother died--but I kept studying humanities, kept playing the photophonor because I wanted my Sol to be a poet-philosopher, similar to the era of rockstars in the 70s in the vein of Don Henley or Bob Dylan who had deeper ideas about our society.

By the time that the Helios dropped, Sol was eager to find love and acceptance--especially so by the time her father died. So she threw herself into the arms of Rex, who has been a favorite and a lover in many a run for my Sols.

Solana began to shift focus, to teaching kids. As her other friends drifted away, at least Tammy remained true with a birthday cake every year.

I remember the ending so clearly. Life didn't turn out the way that my Sol expected, to be a rock star or a poet or a philosopher--but she was a teacher who followed in Hal's footsteps, who cultivated curiosity and continued to fight the good fight for her parents' dreams. She would be friends for life with Tammy, and she and Rex cultivated a home full of love and children.

So my first Sol was pretty happy, all things considered.

I don't know, I just feel bittersweet when I think of that first run and I smile.

[kosmical]

alr i'll bite what's isat

Omg thanks for opening pandoras box! You will regret this

In stars and time is the recent food source of my brain eating amoeba and it Will Not Leave. before i get into why im rabid about it though ill give a brief synopsis . putting a read more here because i suspect this post will get LONG.

its a game about a classic rpg party on the last two days of their quest to save the country from The King who is freezing everything, including people, in time. the main character, Siffrin, is the party's rogue who, upon going into the House of Change (the game's dungeon so to speak) and promptly dying, finds out that they're trapped in a time loop. they're the only one who remembers repeating the last two days- aside from a star named loop who helps him try and figure out whats going on, why, and how to break out.

Now personally ive never been invested in a time loop story?? Im not sure if thats because i havent consumed much media thats implemented it before as its main premise or if i just havent been interested but i think in stars and time meshes the two different genres a time loop story can fall into really well (the mystery and the emotional conflict).

The mystery is what drives you through the game (and there are other questions unrelated to the timeloop about siffrin's origin and the world itself that i think handle a variety of themes like loss of culture and personal transformation really well but thats a different tangent) but the emotional parts are what really got me. You have to watch almost in the backseat as Siffrin is like. Slowly depersonalized from the people they care about. All while refusing to tell them anything about their misery because they don't want to burden them or drag them into his suffering. Even happy moments that Siffrin doesnt mind repeating become tainted because it becomes a matter of acting so that the "scene" doesnt stray from its path and his party doesnt become suspicious.

and yet they still DO, both in regards to Siffrin's World Alteringly Terrible Case of the Mondays and the actual time loop. they notice how tired and fake he seems. one of my absolute favorite scenes is one where you interact with a closet and it provokes a conversation about where Siffrin got their cloak from and how long they've had it, because its really one of a kind. it has temperature regulatory magic imbued in the stitches and is made to grow with him. And siffrin just cant fucking remember. not only because hes been looping so long that its created a haze over his mind but because he has no true "identity." and as he's scrambling to fill in an answer for this hole in his head, a gust of wind hits his face because one of their friends, isabeau, flapped his cloak while inspecting it to ground him. and he disguises it by commenting on the thickness of the cloak.

Getting this scene by accident on my playthrough made me feel so many feelings dude like . Siffrin isn't the only one trying to hide things. Their friends care about him so much and they try to disguise how concerned thwy are and its just. Im . Im Normal.

its not just about that though . Like if you start finding shit a little too fast they'll start catching on to whats happening. a little sound effect will play whenever you know something you shouldn't know and the others notice and whenever it happened i was like. Twisting in my seat waiting for them to call me out.

it all builds up into this really fucking painful emotional climax that i will not talk about because i don't want to spoil more than i already have but omg. I was writhing. It was. Hhhggnngh.hfg. Glass shards in ym mouth yummy

On the topic of shit i cant talk about: My favorite character is this fucking thing

I have held off from talking about loop's role in the story because i cant describe to you why they make me so ill. Not because i dont know Why but because it is something you should experience yourself. They're really charming and funny and their dialogue is fantastic. Of course that's part of the reason i lauve them but theres also the underlying secondary mystery of why they're here/who and or what they are/etc. And when u know. Its. I Cant Tell You. BUT ITS REALLY GOOD. ITS REALLY REALLY GOOD. Just know that if you get to the end and are still confused about them. That theres more than the main ending . AND IT IS PROBABLY WHY I AM SO INSANE ABOUT THIS GAME HONESTLY. I LOVE YOU FOREVER LOOP . im ok

In short: In stars and time is a game that is good and you should play it :) Im pretty sure its on sale right now on steam so yeah go get that.

if you made it through this fucking dissertation length post on isat CONGRATULATIONS ! heres some miscellaneous doodles ive done of it in the past month since ive played it love love

[swe3tcoffe3]

Deltarune And OFF's Connections

Something I find particularly interesting about Deltarune is that, much like Undertale, you can really feel some of Toby's prior influences that shape his storytelling, and it makes them feel so much more passionate to me; they read much like a love letter to his past and some other amazing games that are worth checking out in my opinion.

These influences only grow more prevalent in Deltarune, and one of them in particular I find very interesting because it seems to have the biggest impact out of all of Toby's other inspirations for writing. Its influence can be felt across a lot of Deltarune's story, metanarrative included, and I think it could be worth discussing because it may help to predict what could happen in Deltarune's future, or at the very least give a clearer image of what message Toby could be trying to say.

Which is why I aim to discuss how OFF could connect to Deltarune and why I think Toby's allusions to it could be important. This isn't as much of a theory, more something I find interesting that could potentially become more relevant later down the line.

(And as a disclaimer, most of my OFF screenshots will come from this specific playthrough, however I do use this one and this one for some others. My UTDR screenshots will be pulled from Google Search. If any happen to be yours and you do not want them here feel free to let me know!)

1. OFF in Undertale

However, before we can discuss OFF's presence in Deltarune I think it would be best to understand it's presence in Undertale first, as it could give a better understanding behind the reason why Toby may allude to this game in the first place. Understanding the why behind Toby's references in Undertale is important, because it's likely that the references are there to achieve a similar effect in Deltarune; to establish a similar tone or message or theme.

In Undertale, the references are much less apparent and mostly subtextual and only confined to a specific route. However, it is incredibly noteworthy because the route it's most present in is the Genocide Route; a route that has a notably darker and more unsettling tone.

You not only kill monsters, but do not leave that area until every last one is dead, leaving it empty or "purified", which is reminiscent to OFF as The Batter empties each Zone and kills each Guardian, which inevitably causes the world's destruction.

There are also many similarities that can be drawn between Chara and Batter, mainly the fact that both speak in blunt sentences and seem very goal-oriented, focusing on the mission at all times.

This blunt dialogue contrasts the brutality of their actions, creating a not only unsettling but also dreary tone that's reaffirmed throughout the rest of the route.

For the most part, in Undertale, whenever Toby references OFF he's doing so to create an unsettling or threatening atmosphere.

2. How Is It Used In Deltarune?

There are numerous links Deltarune has to OFF so far, however they don't seem to have a connecting thread just yet (most likely due to the game not being complete; there's a good chance that later on the line Toby will find some kind of connecting thread that makes them all make sense).

However, if we are to look backwards and use Undertale as a reference point, it's likely Toby is using them all to build towards a much more mature story, to establish a darker yet darker direction for Deltarune to take.

3. Possession

The most obvious reference to OFF included in Deltarune is the separation between Player and Protagonist. Throughout the game, it's made clear that Batter is a character separate to you; he makes his own insights and comments about the world around him on occasion, questions people, interacts with others, and remains largely indifferent to your decisions as long as you are facilitating his holy mission.

This is incredibly similar to how our possession of Kris works in Deltarune. We've been forced to possess Kris against our will, in order to enact a prophecy that we don't fully understand as of yet, similar to how The Player only learns what the "mission" truly was at the end of OFF.

There may be some differences in personality between Kris and Batter, such as Kris' stoicism most likely being a mask or front and Kris having a much more honorable nature, but functionally speaking our possession of the protagonist is similar across both games.

4. The Judge, Ralsei and Mike

The Judge has some level of awareness that he exists in a video game, and that The Player is coordinating with Batter. He also accompanies Batter as a supportive companion at first throughout the beginning stages of the game. However, he eventually leaves and disappears until the very end as he is busy grieving his brother.

So far, the closest character we have to fulfilling a role like this is Ralsei. He has remained very supportive of Kris, to the best of his abilities, and seems aware of The Player and wants to accommodate their needs too. And there is potential hints that he may end up leaving the party in the future.

I've decided to mention Mike here, mainly due to CatMike Theory (the theory that Mike may be a cat who's linked to RNG). Assuming this theory is true, then Mike could also be a potential Judge parallel (or possibly even a Japhet/Valerie parallel?), but there's not as much evidence for this (mainly because we don't even know what role Mike will play in the story as of yet, we can only speculate, and said speculations still have a chance at being wrong).

5. Seam and Zacharie

These two share many similarities with one another, beyond just the fact that they're shopkeepers we regularly visit for important items and information. For starters, both have some kind of connection to a secret character who has a unique way of speaking, a tendency to laugh and views the world through a childish lens (like a game of sorts; with Sugar she likens her fight with Batter to a dance whereas with Jevil he views it as more of a game he gets tired of). Both of these characters also have a really hard boss fight.

Seam and Zacharie both have some kind of meta-knowledge as well, as Seam makes a joke that only makes sense if they're aware a Player "hears" by reading text and Zacharie is aware of his role as a video game shopkeeper.

Most importantly however, we know Seam is most likely going to play a larger role in the future, as after defeating each secret boss we give them the shadow crystal and we know of an item called the Pure Crystal which may or may not be important for later down the line for Deltarune.

There's also a chance that, if these OFF connections continue, Seam may end up replacing Ralsei as the party mage as we know they were once the court magician and Zacharie in OFF took the role of "Judge" for a section of the game by, funnily enough, wearing a cat mask.

6. Purification and Dark Worlds and The Roaring

The idea of purification is brought up often in OFF, and it seems to mean the complete destruction/annihilation of something, whether it be a zone or a spectre. Once a zone is purified, it is left as a barren wasteland, inhabited only by abominations known as Secretaries. This is somewhat similar to what happens as once a Dark World is sealed it is destroyed. It should be noted however that you cannot revisit a destroyed Dark World like you can a Purified Zone.

It could be possible that this "destruction" and purification of Dark Worlds could also apply to The Light World and what The Roaring does; cleanses the world, leaving it a barren wasteland (although again, this is once more speculation).

7. Elsen and Darkners

Elsen are usually depicted as serving their Zones' interest, being usually of a nervous disposition and not really doing much else beyond their given "purpose" or jobs. This shares striking similarities between Deltarune, it's Darkners and the Dark Worlds (which already function similarly to Zones). The Darkners only have one purpose; to serve Lightners. The object they're based on helps shape their approach to this goal, and each one feels a sense of fulfillment by doing this. They can be fought as well as act as regular NPCs, something near-identical to how Elsen act.

8. Religious Imagery

Both OFF and Deltarune feature a heavy amount of religious imagery and themes; through OFF it's more direct, through mentions of cleansing, holiness, purification, the usage of specific names related to religion and the direct mention of "gods".

Deltarune similarly also makes use of religious imagery frequently, often in association with Light, Heaven and through Gaster's constant Satan motifs.

9. Conclusion

There are many references to OFF littered throughout Deltarune and it seems to have a much larger impact here when compared to Undertale, however these lingering threads don't seem to be being developed as of yet. It's possible that, in future, Toby will develop these points further in a manner similar to how they were used in Undertale, or maybe Toby might take things in a different direction. We do not know as of now, but regardless I think it's neat that we can see some of Toby's influences in his own work.

[lower-mkdr]

I was watching some playthroughs of Phantom of the mist (bc I miss the event) and now I can't stop thinking about how long Adela has been neglecting herself to the point that she truly desires just one thing, she summarizes everything into one quite ambiguous wish, which is having a peaceful life.

It's something we see during her interrogation and we already know how Mad Shears was created by rumors that spreaded constantly after cutting people's worries and then moving out, it's something even the files acknowledge, but what was stuck on my mind for a while was, how subtle she actually is to bring the topic of small wishes or thoughts about things she actually wants through her lines, just to finish the sentence with "Well, it was just a joke", or she simply smiles and tries to make it look like it's not a big deal. And she does it so many times. Like, I swear to god, I want to give her more than a million hugs and kisses and it would never be enough to express how much it hurts me to see her doing everything always for the rest while keeping herself close but actually feeling very far away.

quality sucks because it's a screenshot but hey, we later understand better that she doesn't only find us/Chief as someone interesting, but such company it's one that she didn't know she would end getting attached to.

Sloane Street works in a pretty interesting way as something similar to us, it's a place she's fond of, the relationships she slowly builded, even if it was not so long ago, it's something that she actually really cares about, which makes her depart something more and more tragic the more you know or try to understand her.

Adela herself acknowledges that she doubts her own decisions many times too, but she's so used to run away cutting any kind of worry that she doesn't truly judges it, why so? if that would bring more and more hair that would end suffocating her again? Running away has been the best option for too long since the day she lost her first home, and it's also been a while since she found something close to what she hoped to have after that.

In fact, after Chief recovers their memories, it seems like she stops hiding and instead she just goes ahead with everything that's on her mind. She really took her time while expecting Chief to find the truth and judge her, it's something even Chief tries to ask themselves later, about why she didn't really attack after "winning" the fight during the first night, that leads Chief to think it's because Adela really doesn't wants to hurt anyone, and it's true.

We even see it later, but her worries doesn't trigger until she realizes the damage that has been done to the people she grew fond of, under all it's her wish of staying there despite everything, because her time on Sloane Street really was the closest thing to the life she always hoped for. Something that is not so hidden in Adela it's that despite her multiple attempts of trying to forget anything, she always wanted something, or someone, that would actually make her stay, it's not something she says, but it's implied in her actions, that's Adela's hope, very deep down it's a part of her wish for a peaceful life. And it makes sense with her final words during her interrogation, she didn't really thought about it until then.

100% compliance voice line goes along too

I didn't include it but I also thought about the scene where she acknowledged that she likes Chief, the narrative goes like "But she didn't seemed to mean something meaningful", I don't think that's true, her actions speak more than her words, and Adela it's pretty good at managing things like that, but I also like to see it as a way of her to be more precise with how she feels, she's finally opening up in her own way, and the last performance in serving team helps too.

In conclusion, I love the fact that she slowly learns more and more about talking and expressing the things she wants aside of her work and self proclaimed duty of taking care of others

[synthwayve]

Random sappy textpost because I don’t know where else to put this, but this account feels about appropriate;

Around this time last year, the house I was living in was going to be painted. All the furniture was rearranged and the windows had to be open 24/7 so the paint fumes could waft out. It was also around this time that I began rewatching Jacksepticeye’s playthrough of “Bloodborne”, and a few rewatches and lore dives turned into extensive interest.

I made a bit of(very bad) fanart before deciding to get a tumblr. I was choking on paint fumes literally all the time and had to wake up at 5:00 to catch the bus for school, and since it was approaching autumn, that meant it was always cold, and winter-time depression was setting in. But MAN. Bloodborne really really turned that small pocket of time in my life into something really special. I began talking with/dming some incredible people who I never would’ve come across otherwise, creating more, reading more, all the rest of it. Autumn and winter are, year-round, the hardest parts of the year for me to get through, especially from an abusive household. I don’t think I would’ve been as happy without meeting the incredible community here.

It’s not a particularly noteworthy or riveting series of events, but I just can’t help but remember that warm candlelit feeling I had inside while everything around me sucked. I remember I’d read fanfic/look at fanart while listening to Alex G’s “Mary” on loop. Now I can’t smell paint, or listen to “Mary”, or sleep on the floor, or experience fall without getting unreasonably happy over a silly old video game.

Insert something vaguely purply poetic about how the world’s most toxic nose-stinging eye-watering throat-aching smell has become deeply nostalgic with a simple change of perspective and people

TLDR: thank you bloodborne, thank you tumblr, thank you mutuals. I have so many core memories from being unreasonably obsessed with this silly little game and it’s really changed my life for the better. I hope to continue making things for it far into the future :,)

[choiceofgames]

Author Interview

https://www.choiceofgames.com/2024/07/new-author-interview-drew-morrison-bootlegger-moonshine-empire/

I think this is your first time writing interactive fiction, but you’re rather an accomplished playwright, I gather. Tell me a little about your background and what brought you to Choice of Games.

I started writing for theater in middle school, and got my Masters in Playwriting at the University of New Mexico. Dialogue has always been my favorite part of writing, and theater offers such a great way to get together with friends and tell a story. I worked for a devised theater company in Albuquerque for about five years, and I really got attached to the camaraderie that develops around putting up a play, especially when it’s done without a lot of financial resources. It means everybody learns different tasks, and shifts around with each show: sometimes you’re a writer, sometimes an actor, director, technician, or shadow-puppeteer. The whole thing ends up being this wonderful process of collaborative problem solving: How do we make what we want to make with what we have? Those limitations spark more interesting ideas than the ones you’d have if you could just pay problems away.

I was introduced to Choice of Games by a friend who had worked for the company as a cover artist. I’d never written anything like this before, and it was a steep learning curve, but the Choice of Games forum and community is such a vibrant scene of supportive people that it’s been really exciting to work on. As a writer, it’s so easy to get sucked into the lonely process of submitting to distant strangers and contests, rarely getting any feedback on your work. The opportunity to have people engaged and willing to respond to your drafts is an invaluable resource, which was my favorite part of working in theater.

What did you find most challenging about the game design and using ChoiceScript to craft a narrative?

Pretty much everything? I was so proud the day I finally submitted a full draft that you could play through from beginning to end that it’s fueled me through the whole editing process since. Having finished a CoG game now, it’s amazing how many tips and tricks you pick up along the way that would change how you approach writing another game.

There were a lot of really fun challenges purely at the level of the prose. For one, second-person/present tense is such a fun, propulsive voice to write in. As someone who didn’t grow up with tabletop roleplaying games, it’s a relatively new voice for me.

Also, as a playwright, my plays are often structured around reveals and buried secrets. When lights come up on a play, we don’t know the people on stage, and revelations about their pasts, motives, relationships, and shared histories are part of what fuels the drama.

In an interactive fiction novel, the reveal isn’t as useful, because it will only work for the first playthrough. This completely changes the notion of suspense as a storytelling technique–a returning player has already seen behind the curtain. Plus, in the main character’s case, the player needs to know (and decide) all major backstory decisions from the outset, so that they can make informed decisions. This was really fun for me; as a writer I couldn’t rely on old tricks. It feels like I usually write as someone watching from the audience, and this was like going on stage and whispering in the main character’s ear.

Bootlegger is set during such an interesting period in American history. What about the period, and about Prohibition in general do you think modern readers may not know about?

The intersection of coffee and alcohol is really interesting to me. Part of the reason people drank so much pre-Prohibition was because alcohol was one of the only reliably safe ways to drink water. It would be much lower alcohol content than we associate with booze today, but people would drink the entire day. Coffee and tea were new forms of safe ways to drink water, so people went from being mildly drunk all the time to sober and caffeinated. The intellectual and political ramifications of that are massive.

The period is great for anecdotes, and I love all the methods people came up with to get away with drinking. Speakeasies would install levers that, when pulled in the case of a raid, would dump their entire liquor display down a hidden chute, shattering the bottles and draining the booze. Alcohol had been determined to have no health benefits, but during Prohibition that suddenly changed: whiskey could be gotten legally with a prescription for all sorts of maladies.

For me, it’s also a really interesting time of how people respond to a ban. For many, Prohibition was an attempt to stop some truly devastating habits, such as poor workers and farmers blowing their full paychecks on the way home, before even getting to their families. You can see how the Women’s Christian Temperance Union and the Anti-Saloon League could see alcohol and the people who sold it as criminal enterprises. At the same time, the complete ban on it meant that many people saw a market, and exploited it ruthlessly. With Bootlegger, I wanted to explore the sudden emergence of a new market that’s illegal, lucrative, and slightly absurd; something that was legal a few short years ago is now a violent, thriving industry.

Do you have a favorite NPC, one you enjoyed writing most?

I’ve never written any kind of gangster story, so writing Capaldi was a lot of fun. Writing a villain in general is a lot of fun, actually, but especially in this case, since Capaldi can be a villain or an ally depending on the play-through. That type of character, alternately frightening and endearing, is so rich and prevalent in gangster movies, and I like that in interactive fiction you might only see someone’s worst side when you’re on their worst side, which is just a terrible place to be. I think one reason we get into stories like The Godfather is because we see two sides of people, while the other characters in the story only see one: loving family member, terrifying murderer. It seems impossible that they can be one person.

If you were transported to the world of Bootlegger, what kind of underground shenanigans would you be best at? Distilling, smuggling, or imbibing?

I think I’d be good at distilling. I know I’d be terrible at being in charge of an operation, I have neither the economic wherewithal or ruthlessness. But I was a barista for a long time, so I think I’d be good at tending a still. I don’t think Prohibition had much of a “craft rotgut” scene, but I imagine I’d be able to get to the point of describing the flavor notes to my customers, which could maybe help me work my way up to get the kind of clients who could afford to care about the quality of their whiskey during Prohibition. But I’m also too trusting, so I’d be very easy to rip off. So, if I could find my way into an operation run by someone like Sam in Bootlegger, who takes care of their own, I’d make a very good worker.

Do you have a favorite tipple or are you a teetotaler?

I do love the occasional bourbon or an old fashioned, but generally I stick with beer.

What else are you working on/working on next, writing-wise?

I’m currently getting my Masters in Political Science, so I’m writing several essays, mainly focusing on the global impact of the film industry. I recently had a staged reading of a new play, Wildlife, which focuses on the illegal wildlife trade, as part of an ongoing project for my classes focusing on climate change. I am also working on an audio drama, called Ambrosia’s Big Break, with the hopes of releasing it in podcast format. Over the process of revising Bootlegger, I’ve had more ideas about things I’d like to do in this medium, so I’ve started to sketch out ideas for another interactive novel. This one would take an interconnected series of science fiction stories I wrote, and adapt them into one big world for the player. It’s one of those narratives that I’ve been attached to for years, but haven’t found the proper form for yet.

[zeondraws]

I always wonder why I have been so busy the past months but then I remember all the things I'm doing with SWTD:

(this is more of a thought post about my life/thoughts/feelings than a lore post! Ignore if you are not interested in this, I don't mind)

Taking Screenshots

Multiple recording sessions (for audio or funny moments, and so on)

Multiple playthroughs of the game

Doing an AU for some reason

Drawing the characters (much art)

Also learning how to use procreate, while my big tablet is packed away until November

Working on a video project

Learning how to use OBS

Datamining the gamefiles for more info with fmodel

troubleshooting fmodel because it's showing me the middle finger for the billionth time

learning how to use a dumper to get mappings file (to view files in fmodel)

learning how to install mods and learn how to use them

troubleshooting my pc or laptop because of my silly shenanigans

rebuilding the models in blender while simultaneously watching blender tutorials to understand what the hell I'm doing

read about TCR's other games and play them (I still have to play Little Orpheus)

Trying to research movies or any blogpost/YouTube posts regarding the game

Other types of research that I can't think of right now

Sharing results with others and discuss the findings to figure lore out

confusedscreaming.mp4

????

It has a lot of reasons why I am super determined and stubborn? when it comes to something I'm passionate about. (It's really hard to explain)

Family always dismissed my hobbies and didn't support me much for them. They often gave me false promises and made me wait for nothing

Often treating me like a baby, as if I can't think for myself. I had to fight a lot for my passions the past decade or so. Even dealing with a former coworker who was very manipulative and tried very hard to belittle me.

I can't even explain all the stress I had to endure because of my old job. Constantly monitored for mistakes, constantly shoved to a corner, freedom taken away, bullied, my feelings had been manipulated so much that I just.. had entire months where I cried every single day. And I'm not even kidding, I went to work in fear, I walked home in fear, I woke up in fear. I still remember that evening where I was so afraid of everything. I was so scared to even be in my apartment, I just balled my eyes out because it was too much at that moment.

Only thing that kept me going was my determination, hope.. daydreams. . and seeking out help (therapy, friends) and using the anger I felt for my coworker to work on my art/passions and show myself that I'm not worthless.

Sometimes my coworker would treat me badly on some days, so after I went home I used my anger and sadness to make art. Even if I sat there drawing for 5h. It did help me to improve a ton in my skills.

I think that event made me go through this journey of? self reflection and growth. It's wild how much happened after that.

Family wasn't helpful in this painful time period, one told me I'll end up alone, that I shouldn't talk to people online or that I should be happy to have a job (Talking to family is like talking to a wall). Or another family member who tries so hard to treat me like an object.

It fills me with anger, but they're all I've got. I thankfully have many friends I can go to when needed, but I wouldn't be able to fully abandon my family. It's probably because I felt so down when my mother passed away over two years ago. I haven't talked to her in years because of her mental condition, but her passing hit me badly.

I have struggled for a while to work on other skillsets because I was too afraid, doing videos, blender, drawing humans idk why, maybe no confidence in myself to try it out

.. Suddenly swtd gets released and my head does a 360 and is like "I'm going to learn all of this now, hold my bear". Using my obsession about this game to learn something new, which helped me overcome so many hurdles. Like the amount of times I threw myself out of my comfort zone while I tried to fiddle with the game.

Like, look at the difference in my human art

This is the first time I drew Muir like.. I forgot when I drew this, two months ago?

And then like this is from a few days ago

... *compares* I don't know how to explain the difference, I think there is one-

Like,. It's hard to compliment myself because of the sheer amount of stress I endured over the year. I've been out of the old job for 3 weeks now. I'm so glad I'm out of there.

I remember how I always wanted to draw an entire dragon, not just a bust. And look I ended up drawing one!! Ok with Roper's head but yea!

I think family difficulties and other events made me feel very detached from others. I never felt/feel like I belong anywhere. I moved so often that this feeling persisted. And it may persist for who knows how long. I only recently got a diagnosis, I have a form of depression, but it's somewhat mild. Hence why I'm still able to perform in daily tasks and work. Tho I don't want to use my condition as an excuse, I rather just want to show that I'm capable of something. That even people who struggle mentally can find success in what they do.

Life throws so many hurdles but I think I am slowly used to living in the chaotic environment. I keep drawing and work on my hobbies while I wait to move apartments.

I try very hard to change my mindset even tho my mind had been so used to the negative spirals. But I try to stay determined and keep on learning. I am not all knowing and I need to remember that mistakes are ok and that I need them to keep learning and have progress.

I've been pushing aside so many thoughts while I messed with the game. Even tho it's 2AM I needed a quiet moment to think about it all.

I am very open with my thoughts and feelings, it's what I usually do on my Instagram account when I post my art.

Tomorrow is another day to learn something new.

[vashtijoy]

thank you for such a comprehensive answer! does make me wonder though — the game clearly has no qualms with saying that akechi did kill people directly and did cause deaths indirectly (e.g. the bus incident explicitly stated to have caused fatalities). so why on earth does p5 say the subway train derailment caused no deaths?? this is probably a very weird detail to zero in, but i feel like a heavier train in an enclosed space carrying more people than a bus is much more dangerous. ngl it broke my immersion on my first playthrough a little lol

I know what you mean, lol. Tbh, Akechi is obviously intended to be sympathetic—to be the worst case example of what happens when a kid is exploited by rotten adults and has nobody to help them.

This is why there are so many parallels between his tragic backstory and the stories of a lot of the PTs—he has Futaba's abusive family background, Ryuji's single mom, Yusuke's orphanhood and exploitative father figure, Haru's terrible father, and I'm sure there's something there for Makoto as well.

This is why, at the end of the engine room, he's met not with condemnation but with grace and understanding. This is why, though he does feel sorry for himself at the end and mourn what he's lost, he doesn't squirm and beg and justify himself like the earlier palace bosses—with the exception of Sae. This is why he gets a dramatic self-sacrifice and gets to come back as an antihero, who goes all-out to save the world at the cost of his life in passing, because it's in his personal interests to do so. Akechi is intended to have been sinned against as much, or more, than he has sinned.

At the end of the day, Akechi is a Phantom Thief, even though he's not really on the team, doesn't align with their motives, and almost nobody really likes him—just like them, he's a kid who was placed in an impossible situation, and they all get that. Even while they understand the reality of who he is and what he's done.

This raises the complicated "is he a victim" question again, of course, and the reality is that he's both a victim and perpetrator—like, of course, most criminals. Akechi isn't special. His backstory lets us understand what he's done; it doesn't undo it—and he knows that.

So what's going on, if I can go all Doylian for a second, is that there's an attempt to soft-soap the reality of what Akechi does—to keep him sympathetic. He doesn't shoot people in real life, for instance (with two notable attempted exceptions)—he gives them "mental shutdowns", giving him a layer of insulation from not only the physical reality of murder, but the moral reality of it.

Like the moment he sees Futaba unexpectedly in Leblanc, and ends up chattering oh shit, you're Wakaba Isshiki's— Like the moment on 10/11 that he walks up to Sae to see what she has on her laptop, and it's the Okumura death video, and he nearly vomits; he claps a hand over his eyes, and only then moves it to cover his mouth.

This is the reason he's so visibly unsettled a lot of the time in the interrogation room, why he stares at that dead guard wide-eyed for so long, and stares at dead "Joker" for so long during that cutaway to Sojiro that the gun stops smoking. He is—and we are—almost always insulated from the reality of his acts. tl;dr: you aren't meant to have to think too much about what it means that the pretty boy is a murderer and terrorist, if you don't want to. And that's fine! There is no wrong way to understand the game, no wrong way to play. A huge part of interpreting a work of fiction is what we bring to it ourselves.

But if you want to dig into that reality, it is there to be found. The fact that psychotic breakdowns obviously can be fatal, that Akechi performs them for Shido from the start, from two years before canon. That he performs so many of them that he becomes a detective, to make sure they're properly "cleaned up" himself. The fact that he makes two of the Phantom Thieves orphans. That Shido considers "proper use of the Metaverse" to be eliminating those in his way. That he sells Akechi's services to anyone suitably wealthy and controllable he can find. That, at the start of the game, all of Tokyo is terrified of this plague of accidents, of psychotic breakdowns, and that, per Sae, the incidents have been going on at least since Wakaba Isshiki died—two years before canon.

You also have things like the fact that he clearly negotiates what he does, as you can see in the post-interrogation room conversations with Shido—he can talk his way out of kill orders, or postpone them, as long as he doesn't push it, and he does this. There's no reason to think this isn't part of their dynamic all along. Shido manipulates Akechi with praise, sure, but Akechi also manipulates Shido as much as he can get away with.

There's also the SIU Director, on 7/10, complaining about how "he" (Akechi) is insufficiently brutal and doesn't come up with usably brutal plans. On the other hand, Akechi will, later, come up with the vicious detail of the plan to murder Joker in the interrogation room; that's his plan. He's told what to do (we join that incriminating phone call conveniently halfway), but he comes up with the details himself. He's on an arc, albeit one that isn't always obvious, and a large part of it is that Joker is slowly driving him out of his mind.

I just think Akechi is way more interesting, and that his manner and behaviour make far more sense, if he has done a lot of these things. The main thing that draws my eye is the visible lack of response he has to the atrocities he causes. Going back to that nice conversation you both have on 7/11, you know what he's almost certainly just done there? He's triggered the Goodness Foods car crash, which the evening news will report takes place at 8am on 7/11.

(and writing about this clarified so many things that it, again, became its own post oops.)

The crash kills four people. By the time you're on the train to school, the news is reporting this. Akechi seems completely fine with it all, better than fine—except there are tiny suggestions of something else, if you squint, something far below the numbness to what he does and what he's become; far below the bright surface. Something that will later be riveted in disbelief to the dead guard on the floor of the interrogation room.

That's interesting.

[midnightsun-if]

Hiiii!!! :D 👋

Hope that you're having a great week!! ^^ So I just discovered Midnight Sun and played the demo, and I'm absolutely already totally invested haha. Your writing is excellent, I love fantasy/Supernatural academia and the Vibes™️ are everything I'm always looking for!

I'm totally weak for Friends-to-lovers, so Blake already has my whole heart 🥺 But for alt playthroughs there's so many other good ROs that I know it's gonna be fun to be totally different each time! (Looking respectfully at Caedan and Cyra haha)

But looking through the blog I saw the Christian response to ROs ask and it got me wondering (if it's not too spoilery) - What would Cienna's response to the ROs be?? She seems like she'd defo have some...pretty interesting (*cough* strong *cough*) thoughts 🤣

Thanks so much for all you do!! 🤗 Can't wait to see where this goes :D (But please don't feel rushed or anything take all the time you need!!!)

Hello!! ❤️

I've been having an excellent week, I hope that the same can be said for you! It makes me so happy that you're invested in Midnight Sun, I have so many fun adventures in store.

Blake is one of my favorite characters to write for because what you see on the surface isn't necessarily what's deeper, which is something I love to balance and work around. Caden and Cyra are two that I can't wait to explore more and discover the things that truly make them tick.

You're definitely right about Cienna!

Koda: She thinks he's a nice, sturdy man that'll treat you well. Someone that you can count on when times get rough, which is something she wants for you. She wants you to have a dependable person in your corner, and Koda is just that.

Scarlett: Wouldn't really know what to think of Scarlett, to be honest. She's met her many times in the past and has seen how she has flourished in various ways, and Cienna would be surprised to see how much you have shifted Scarlett's usual countenance. In the end? Cienna would be happy for both you and Scarlett, you both deserve to find your one and only.

Cyrus/Cyra: Has general misgivings when it comes to House Aurelia, but she can see that C means well. That they truly care for you, and that's all that matters in the end. Though, she'd probably be a bit colder to them until she's able to get comfortable around them. Which, knowing Cienna, might take a bit.

Quinn: The two have never meshed well in their past meetings, due to various factors, and Quinn's parents meddling, but Cienna has never thought anything truly horrible about them. She'd honestly find it funny that you were the one who ended up getting together with them.

Caden: I think she'd be pleasantly surprised, to be honest. Caden usually keeps to themself, there but not there at the same time, and it'd be a bit intriguing for her to see how they begin to mesh with the family once more-- especially now that they can't simply fade back into the background.

Sloane: Wouldn't be able to be around them for long periods of time. She knows the grief of loss, the hole that it carves into your heart, and Slaone is a walking entity of grief at times. Seeing it? Being consistently around it? It'd drain Cienna completely. She wouldn't dislike Sloane though.

Blake: Honestly she's surprised it didn't happen sooner. She finds Blake amusing, in small increments, and is happy that they've been able to offer you a sense of companionship. She already considers them family, so it's not that big of a stretch for her.

Reginald/Regina: Is vehemently against it. I can't exactly tell you why, but seeing it? It'll cause various emotions to swarm through Cienna's body-- very few being the ones she wishes to experience.

[bharv]

just saw your dao mention in another ask and i'm wondering if you have a ted talk about why you love it?

i also REALLY loved dao but i recently replayed it and i'm wondering how much of my affection was just nostalgia. some of that is just an aging game of course, but if dao came out today i'd be even crankier about some of the design choices than I am about bg3 (and I have a lot of cranky bg3 thoughts that I don't post haha)

I think I last played in 2021 probably, and that was my 9th playthrough lol.

Is it perfect? No, but to me it stands up really well still. I like CRPGs but with older ones I sometimes struggled with how much you needed to use your imagination and/or how unintuitive the UI was. I will say I first played DAO on console and switching to PC was a revelation, it was so definitely built for hotkeys and mod support! But I loved the voiced companions, the 3D graphics.

I think there have been other less graphically ambitious CRPGs that have also done things I love. The Pillars of Eternity games, for sure. Some of the Owlcat games. But there's something about the character design of the companions, the way the dwarven origins weave into the main narrative, the way the story unfolds in exactly the amount of time it needs to take that I love in Origins. (side note I think people that didn't like it so much really should play as dwarves, and if they don't like it for aesthetic reasons they need to. Grow up. That's my TED talk lmao)

Some of it is nostalgia, for sure. We've come a long way in a lot of areas from 2009. But I think the balance of exploration and linear storytelling is a sweet spot for me, I find endless open world really tiring unless there's excellent environmental storytelling happening (Skyrim and Fallout New Vegas do it very well, a lot of other games including Inquisition don't do it as well for me.) I love the writing on the whole, especially the two dwarf paths which are the highlight of the whole series IMO. You have a lot of narrative freedom with your warden in a way you don't with Hawke or the Inquisitor, and that's got a lot to do with not having a voiced protag. I'm not a voiced protag fan at all, unless you are telling a very tight story. I feel like if you're trying to allow for a really customisable main character it always hinders things. Shepard is that sweet spot for many, but is extremely hard to get right; it basically works because they are set in a very particular position at the start of the game, but their past is very broad brushstrokes, and the v/o is kept very neutral.

I actually am in the minority of loving BG3, lol. It's again not perfect and I do mourn the game we might have had from early access, but they struck a balance between appeal to audience, graphic level, scale and sheer amount of options that I think is insanely impressive technically. I just wish they'd kept a little more of what they wanted to do instead of responding quite so much to fan desires, but then again the game would have appealed to a much smaller audience had they done that.

But to me, BG3 combines gameplay I actually enjoy, characters I actually love, environments I like playing in, and choices that feel really juicy, and that's what I want in a game. And that feels like origins to me.

Origins certainly isn't perfect and there's BIG things I would change (why do the villainous men all have big noses? Why are the skin tones so poor? Why would a human society based on a church led by women with a woman as prophet still be patriarchal and sexist?) but I think it still has some of the more interesting writing of the series balanced with the narrative freedom I like in an RPG like that.

[bratgoatswiss]

Apologies for length, have to save the cut for spoilers.

I FINISHED VEILGUARD!

I have. So many thoughts and emotions about it and I'm still processing but I just wanted to counter some of the vitriol I'm seeing from people who are doing the Fandom thing with what I hope are reasonable, normal thoughts. Ha. Haha. Anyway. Mostly spoiler free but there's one small thing and one BIG thing that is that I'll put under the read more.

There was a lot to like about this game. The combat was fun and I think upon a 2nd playthrough it'll be even better. Some of it could get repetitive but its not a big gripe.

The characters were very endearing and felt well fleshed out as people and I enjoyed spending time with them. Most of the side quests were related to your companions in some way and I thought that was clever. Some were more interesting than others.

The writing has been contentious and I can see why. It can get cheesy and predictable in places, but overall I thought it was very similar to DA2. I enjoyed it and thought it reflected some realistic responses to what was happening around you. If you're here for gritty edgelord shit 24/7 go play Dark Souls you weirdo.

I can only speak for the Lucanis romance cause I love an angsty man, but it was perhaps, underpadded. It was slow and sweet and I did like it very much but I could have used some...more you know? I didn't even get to see my own tits and that's tragic.

Solas. I did not romance the egg in DAI. I do not like the egg. I liked how I got to handle the egg. So much. I've seen the Lavellan romance scenes and if there's any uproar from the Sollavellans (one l or 2?) it's because they didn't let you see the 2 of them fuck nasty in high definition for an hour. It's Rooks story now. You're fine. Go write fanfiction.

The lore. Hoo boy. Honestly they really did put everything in a blender and fished out what they liked. Everything is made up and the points don't matter. I don't LOVE that they retconned so much of what was in Origins. Zevran and the Crows especially seems really odd. I THINK the idea is that it's been like 20-30ish years since all that and stuff has changed or information was wrong or inaccurate or whatever? But that seems lazy. I wish they'd addressed it more with SOMETHING. But also there's 3 games worth of lore, not to mention comics and novels and like. I get it. But consistency guys. Add more codex entries or something. This is my biggest gripe. It did not impact my enjoyment too much. I loved what was added.

Spoilers below

That ending was so ABRUPT?! At least with DAI you got a ending party and final scene with your LI but here you get some end cards and voice over? I would have accepted that if we were getting DLC but this?? This is insane! Bioware I am begging on my knees to give us at least a "well we did it!" scene. The ending was epic but the ENDING was a disappointment.

Now. The suicide mission. I spent [redacted] number of hours investing blood, sweat, and tears of friendship into these 7 assholes and there is NO way to save 1 of them?? And you have to choose between Harding and Davrin??? Just those 2?? There should be a way to save them! Don't give me the no matter what crap! I don't want CONSEQUENCES I want FRIENDSHIP. If you could do it in ME2 you should be able to do it here. Also. Can we not have it be 50/50 heroic sacrifice with a black man? Like. I know you can technically choose but like why make it an option. It just feels weird.

So yeah. Initial thoughts and feelings. Overall good with some stuff I really disliked. I will be normal about this eventually.

I'll probably regret sending this out into the world when the sollavellens find me. Oh well.

[wetcatspellcaster]

Did you see Neil Newbon’s take that Ascended Astarion is the real him free to act on cruelty and violence and the spawn is the one with the mask? Yeesh.

Ooooooh, THAT'S the disk horse that's happening right now!! I knew something was happening (I felt a tremor in the waters) but I had no clue what it was lmao, I don't follow cast stuff.

I will try to respond to this in good faith, but I'm not very good at fandom discourse and so I'm afraid it may not be the answer you want.

I can see why that reading might make people angry, but I dont have strong feelings about it. Obviously, it's not my take on Ascension, but from the beginning I've been very upfront that my take is serving the genre I'm writing in and the ship dynamics I find hot. My Tav is lawful good to an unhealthy extreme, and that was how she was conceived in her Early Access bullying phase. And meanwhile, I wanted to be in a Gothic horror where he's obsessed (morality chains will do that to you) and they beat the shit out of each other. I have to make the Ascendent a monster, for that to work, and for people not to feel guilty every time they enjoy watching him getting stepped on lmao.

But I do feel like there is a morality policing around Astarion's ending that I don't want to partake in. This might seem dumb for me to say, given that my Tav is a veritavle walking moral policeman, but that is bc I fucking love Villain/Heroine ships, so I am literally right there, at the Devil's Sacrament with everyone else.

While I like the good ending and prefer it for many reasons, I would agree with a reading of Newbon's words that it could be read as a mask. This might be bc I mask with the best of them, am doing it right now even as I write and edit this ask 20 times. There's masking as an outright lie, and then there's masking as 'gotta get through day to day life as a functional adult without everyone suddenly deciding they hate me'... I personally think its nice that spawn!Astarion cares about other people, and cares about being a functional member of society at all! It shows he's no longer a lonely outcast.

I could also go deeper (the autism really shining through in this reply) and say it's a mask, in the sense that this has been deemed the 'polite' and morally correct ending, that is acceptable to others and enables the player to feel good about themselves. Which is often a way we derive pleasure from media, and not wrong in and of itself! Making Astarion good makes players feel good - that's not wrong, but if we're comparing endings, we have to acknowledge it. An Ascended Ending doesn't really cater to that impulse... unless the player really likes to be dommed (more power to them).

Unfortunately anon, I can't sit here with my most popular fic being an Ascended!Astarion fic, and pretend that there isn't a bunch of fascination or interest surrounding the Ascended version of his character. People clearly want to explore the implications of his evil ending and indulge in the excess of it, but feel bad doing so. People don't ascend him in-game, but they go to my fic and other people's fic because they want to have some space to enjoy the implications - in the sexiness, in the timeline where Astarion has revenge, in a timeline where he is obsessed with Tav etc. I mean, just look at me, I can't sit through the Ascended scene, but I'm here writing a fic about it!!

The fact that it seems to happen more in fic than in playthroughs tells me, if I was to get super deep in a tumblr ask, that people feel guilt about it. Some kind of mask is being employed, by someone, somewhere, in that mix. So I'm not about to add to any of that kind of policing. It would be pretty disingenuous of me to get my most feedback from an Ascendent fic I am writing, and then judge people for liking Ascendency narratives...

So while I don't have much interest in pretending the evil ending isn't the evil ending, that doesn't sound to me (second hand, through you, with my brain seeing 7 or 8 different implications) to be what Newbon is saying. He's just saying that the Ascendent is the less palatable Astarion to other people and that spawn!Astarion still has some kind of mask or a politeness filter on. Which... yeah. Kinda. In my world, I like that Astarion decides its worthwhile to restrain himself, because he has things to care about potentially ruining. But that's still in many ways employing restraint. People don't just stop masking, they learn to care about what others think in a healthy way. They have friendships, relationships, other ties to the world, that make them want to be something other than a cruel or violent or evil version of themselves. I think that's nice, and far less lonely but um... yeah. I can see Newbon's point, even if I don't want to like, live or die by it.

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

Sooo, I finished Chapter 1 of THH and I got THOUGHTS! Spoilers ahead so keep that in mind! For one, fairly decent chapter. Trying to keep count of how many days have passed in game cus I've been curious about that. So far it's been 4. Another thing is that, every time I see Byakuya, I just laugh a bit because it's so strange for me seeing him in his natural habitat. Furthermore, I got thoughts on the dialogue. Fairly fine there's times I've cringed, mostly with Hifumi. Can totally get why some don't like him. Not one for all the inuendo's he makes and his very insistence of using cringe gamer lingo in unnatural ways. Personally headcanoning that's his way of coping with the situation but I suppose me saying that is also MY way of tolerating him. I will be sure to actually interact with him though so I can fully get a grasp on his character, what he's about in his FTE's, and if I can safely say if I actually dislike him or if it's just mildly cringy. Another note on the dialogue is that one scene very much made me uncomfortable a bit. 'Twas when Sayaka ran off after watching her motive video and Monokuma came in like "Oooh Makoto! You got a boner" and started describing stuff but also describing his own bare stuffing like, I'm a visual reader so that was just awful. Felt that scene was off too. I get having levity, but at wasn't necessary levity in the situation in my opinion. Meanwhile, regarding the investigation, I had fun running around and judging everyone. I totally get why some of them are where they are but seriously. Some of these losers weren't even trying to make sense where they were standing. Sakura and Mondo make sense cus they were on body guard duty (pun intended), Chihiro said they felt bad for leaving Junko's corpse so I get that. I suppose Hiro was too scared and freaked out to move so that's why he stayed in the gym too. I get Toko running off to a random classroom as well, saying she didn't wanna help cus she's bad at blood. Leon I get too cus he's ya know, the killer. Prob has no clue where to go and is just watching from afar. Watchin in the sense of like, the door being closed. Cus he's not in the room and the door is shut and all. The others though? No clue. Why is Taka just standing in the hallway? What is he doing there? Trying to calm his nerves? His dialogue doesn't really suggest that though. Or, why is Celeste in that one room with the big vault door? Is she admiring it or something? At least got to your room if you're not interested in helping, girl! Byakuya cracks me up the most cus he is LITERALLY right near his door! Just go in your room if you're gonna be useless, my dude! Or at least sit on the floor, cross your legs, and twiddle your thumbs on the floor, why don'tcha! Personally, I feel that it'd at least be fair if one of these losers was in the bathroom or something! Would be a small but of situational levity AND make sense! Not that they all know at the time that the trial area would have no where to sit and they'd be standing for hours debating or anything. A restroom break makes sense though! Get a little anxiety shit out before it all goes south! Speaking of which, no clue why it mentioned in text there were seats. There's no seats in the trial room. They all stand there. No clue why that was mentioned. Unless that meant the ground which, I mean I guess that works. Finally, I wish to mention the gameplay I had as well. For one, I chose mean mode for my playthrough to spice things up! Went well besides a few misclicks. Hands got a bit sweaty even though I know what happens and all. The BTB at the end. though? Took me so many tries that it tanked my grade from an A to a C! I at least think that was the main cause. Would not be surprised. One last thing btw, Byakuya is oddly helpful here. Legit understandable! Makes reasonable deductions and all! Agreed with his takes! I swear I'm not just defending him for the sake of it! He's legit just fine here. Not for looong though~! Chapter 2 is afoot!!