#this has been a *busy* busy week for me and it’s not over yet
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we can’t be friends (wait for your love) part 2 | max verstappen x best friend! reader
yourusername
liked by lilymhe, francisca.cgomez, and others
yourusername much needed rest and relaxation over the break (with some extra special family time)
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user732 posting for the first time in months after dropping THAT song is diabolical
↳ user82 her saying she’ll wait for his love is actually kinda insane because i’d be groveling on my knees if she showed the slightest bit of interest in me
lilymhe oh my beautiful, beautiful girl
↳ yourusername love you lily <3
user81 i know that second single’s gonna hit like crack
↳ user4 praying everyday for her to release again
georgerussell63 pops finally made the gram?
↳ yourusername took lots and lots of convincing for me to be able to post this georgie
francolapinto muuyyyy linda 😘
↳ yourusername i’m a little too old for you sweetheart
christianhorner make sure to tell that boy of yours thank you for winning you the bear
↳ yourusername papa, this is not how instagram works…. everyone can see this
user63 christian outing his daughter about having a boyfriend was not on my 2024 bingo card 😭
↳ user33 diabolical move on his part, but now i’m nosy and wanna know who
francisca.cgomes i’ve missed you, come by soon ☹️💔
↳ yourusername will be over as soon as possible
yourusername added to their story!
[caption 1: night out with my girl! francisca.cgomes]
[caption 2: always third wheeling these two pierregasly francisca.cgomes]
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francisca.cgomes you could’ve brought him with you bubs
↳ it’s still new, didn’t want to force him into something he might not be comfortable with… he only met pops because of work
user72 y/n’s so me, always third wheeling my friend and her boyfriend </3
user44 two pretty girls omg
carlossainz55 could’ve invited me hermosa, would’ve been a nice double date
↳ next time then, just wasn’t sure if you were ready to officially officially meet my friends <3
alexandrasaintmleux no boyfriend appearance?
↳ keeping it low key… wasn’t sure if he was ready to meet everyone as my boyfriend yet
francisca.cgomes added to their story!
[caption 1: picked up alex and forced pierre to be our photographer]
[caption 2: when she gets a text back so she has to set her phone down and scream]
carlossainz55 glad i have that effect on her, tell her to answer me though </3
↳ still screaming, will text you back when she’s done
user44 literally me when i get a text from my man 🧍♀️
user81 three baddies in one picture 🧎♀️➡️
maxverstappen who was she texting???
↳ it’s none of your business max, stop meddling
incoming messages from max!
carlossainz55
liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and others
carlossainz55 what a great way to end a three week break, love spending time with mi sol. ¡vamos vegas!
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user72 y/n in the likes, my yncarlos truthers RISE!
↳ user63 so delusional oh my god
yourusername viva las vegas!
↳ carlossainz55 viva las vegas!
charles_leclerc sad to be out last triple header as teammates brother, i’ll be keeping you around
↳ carlossainz55 gonna miss you hermano, we’ll race hard for ferrari
user65 can’t believe it’s carlos’ last few races in a ferrari 💔
↳ user55 and if i say perez is out so the redbull seat is open and carlos goes to redbull and franco stays at williams 😁
↳ user65 delusion at its finest
maxverstappen ready to go in vegas 🙌
↳ carlossainz55 see you there
user23 you know who else went golfing with lily during the break? y/n!
↳ user61 that doesn’t mean y/n was there when carlos was with lily and alex, you sound delusional
yourusername added to their story!
[caption 1: the only professional ever took me golfing lilymhe]
[caption 2: he got jealous, so my man took me golfing too (:]
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user732 man???? i thought maybe your dad was joking… oh my god
user61 hmmm… interesting…. is that perhaps carlos sainz? who wore that same outfit in the pictures he posted on his insta… suspicious 🤨
carlossainz55 i was not jealous hermosa.. just wanted you to remember how good i am at golf
↳ oh of course amor, you just wanted to show off your golfing skills… so what if i post a picture of us when i announce my new song? are you okay with that?
carlossainz55 sounds amazing hermosa, i’ll post you too.. wanna show off my girl
lilymhe oh you two are so cute
↳ you missed it!!!! when we went to go find my ball he told me he loves me… i melted on the spot lils, he’s so sweet 🥲🥰
christianhorner oh baby, i hope you’re having a wonderful break. tell carlos to stop by hospitality on media day, we’ve got some things to discuss
↳ thank you papa! i’ll make sure to remind him
user81 oh that’s so cute
user94 lily and y/n >>>>>
user01 the fit though
maxverstappen is that who i think it is?? you’re with carlos??
↳ please max, it’s none of your business… can’t you just be happy for me?
maxverstappen i am happy for you schatje, i hope he treats you well
↳ so well! i love him max… so so much
user344 imagine being max and fumbling the baddest bitch and almost losing your championship to someone with three race wins
yourusername
liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen and others
yourusername dinner dates with my man <3 (new song eternal sunshine out friday!)
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user61 I KNEW IT I KNEW IT AND I GOT CALLED DELUSIONAL FOR SAYING IT
carlossainz55 bonitaaa
carlossainz55 hermosa 😍😍😍
carlossainz55 te amo mi sol
↳ yourusername te amo guapo
lilymhe and the cutest couple award goes to… carlos and y/n
↳ yourusername ahhhh i love you lily <3
alexandrasaintmleux oh you two are just the cutest
↳ yourusername thank you alex, love you <3
maxverstappen so happy for the two of you, congratulations!
↳ yourusername thank you max, it truly means a lot
user743 ok but they’re so cute together
user392 newest ferrari wag but only for three race weekends ☹️
↳ user16 you act like she’s dying, they’re just moving teams
christianhorner so happy for you baby! i love you princess ❤️
↳ yourusername thank you papa, i love you too. make sure to tell geri we’ll visit soon <3
carlossainz55 added to their story!
[caption 1: paddock days with my girl]
[caption 2: a win in vegas with the best company]
f1
liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and others
f1 carlos sainz to join oracle redbull racing for the 2025 season after sergio perez retires! franco colapinto will take sainz’s seat at williams for the 2025 season
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carlossainz55 so so grateful for this opportunity!
user55 i literally predicted this ????
↳ yourusername please predict carlos winning wdc 2025, thanks girlie 🥰🙏
user23 so so happy for him!
user82 oh this is amazing news!
maxverstappen can’t wait to be teammates mate!
↳ carlossainz55 so excited to be teammates again hermano
charles_leclerc happy for you brother!
↳ carlossainz55 thank you charles, double date with the girls soon!
user44 oh wow
christianhorner excited for next year! wcc is ours! work hard boys!
yourusername added to their story!
[caption 1: eternal sunshine out now 🌞]
[caption 2: my eternal sunshine ☀️ carlossainz55]
#f1 smau#formula one#f1 imagines#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#formula one imagine#max verstappen smau#we can’t be friends universe#max verstappen social media au#max verstappen series#max verstappen angst#formula one angst#formula one social media au#f1 x y/n#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#formula one x y/n#formula one x you#formula one x reader#formula one smau#formula 1#carlos sainz smau#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz f1#carlos sainz fanfic#carlos sainz x female reader#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz x you
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Devils Bachelor
Heyyy can I get roast beef and thousand island on sourdough? from @wusyanamegirlfriend
luke hughes x childhoodbsf!reader
I wanted it to be you
It was a warm late-spring day as you walked back from the grocery store, a quick stop after work to pick up ingredients for your usual Tuesday night with Luke. Tonight’s menu was a salmon Cobb salad you’d perfected last week. These evenings were the highlight of your week, and the fact that Luke always made time for you, despite his busy schedule, meant more than you could say.
You’d been best friends since childhood, but you assumed that life — especially his NHL career — might eventually pull you in different directions. Yet a year after he was drafted, he’d practically begged you to find work in New Jersey. You’d landed a position in a biology lab, and the rest was history.
Letting yourself in, you found Luke and his brother, Jack, locked in a chaotic video game match. Luke glanced over and flashed you his usual sweet smile.
“Staying for dinner, Jack?” you asked, unloading the groceries.
“If you’ll have me. Don’t want to intrude on date night,” he teased, laughing as Luke shoved him back onto the couch.
If only, you thought wistfully.
Dinner was filled with laughter and chatter about work, the boys listening intently as you shared your day.
“Has Luke told you about his new media obligation?” Jack asked, smirking.
“No, what is it?”
“They want me to be the ‘Devils Bachelor,’” Luke explained casually, rolling his eyes. “Basically, they’ll set me up with influencers and other women until I find ‘the one.’”
You froze, unable to keep the irritation from your voice. “Is that so?”
Jack snickered, but Luke, oblivious as always, simply nodded. “Yeah, actually. Do you think you could help me pick something to wear?” At this, Jack burst out laughing, and Luke shot him a confused look, “What?”
“Nothing, man,” Jack said, slapping him on the back and shooting you a wink.
Jack left after dinner, and you sat on the couch, half paying attention to the movie Luke had put on, swirling your wine in the glass mindlessly.
“You okay?” Luke asked, watching you closely.
Forcing a smile, you nodded. “Just tired. I think I’ll head home.”
He frowned; you never left early on Tuesdays. Walking you to the door, he pulled you into a hug, his arms warm and familiar.
“See you later, yeah? I’ll have to tell you how the dates go.” Your heart ached, but you pushed it aside, knowing he truly was clueless.
“Great,” you mumbled, stepping away. You wished you could be brave enough to tell him how you felt — but vulnerability was hard.
-------------------------------
You tried to busy yourself the next day to avoid thinking about Luke going out with other girls, but it was hard. It had never really occurred to you that he goes on dates, as he hadn’t since he had lived here. The two of you were so domestic together that it literally felt like he was cheating on you even though he really wasn’t.
Lost in thought, you nearly bumped into Jack, who was waiting outside of your building.
“Jack! What are you doing here?”
“Thought you could use a drink,” he said, giving you a warm grin. You appreciated his care and agreed, following him to a quiet bar nearby.
Settling into a booth, you sipped your drink as Jack spoke. “I told him not to tell you about the dates,” he said, looking you in the eye.
You groaned. “He’s going to think something’s up!”
“Y/N, he already thinks something’s up,” Jack deadpanned, explaining that Luke was worried you were mad at him. “I told him it was ‘complicated,’” Jack added with a smirk.
“Jack…” you groaned, putting your head in your hands.
“Speak of the devil, he just texted me about the date.”
Your head snapped up, “what did he say?”
“He said it went alright, but he was annoyed that the girl didn’t want to order two entrees and share both,” he read off, and you laughed. Luke always insisted that you do that when the two of you ate somewhere, but you didn’t mind.
Jack smirked at you before typing something quickly.
“What’d you say?”
“I said, ‘you mean like y/n does?’”
“Jack!” You hissed. Jack put his phone down and looked at you.
“Why are we doing this y/n?” Why won’t you just tell him? He’s in love with you even if he doesn’t realize it,” Jack said softly and you sighed, looking away.
“That’s the thing, even if it’s true and he doesn’t realize it, what would happen if I confessed?”
“Maybe it would be the push he needs,” Jack countered and you smiled sadly.
“I can’t risk our friendship on a maybe.”
Luke’s POV
“What’s with you today?” Jack asked, watching Luke take a break from his set. They were at the training facility to get a workout in, but Luke had been off all morning.
“Y/N’s been avoiding me since last week,” he muttered. “She just won’t talk to me.”
Jack gave him an amused look, thinking about how literally anyone could put two and two together. Maybe he just needed a little push.
“How are the dates going?” he asked, changing the subject.
Luke shrugged. “A waste of time, honestly. None of them are really meshing.” To Jack's clear amusement, he went on about one who didn’t like sports and another who had never heard of Happy Gilmore.
“So let me get this straight,” Jack said, barely holding back a laugh. “The reasons none of them worked were… they wouldn’t split food with you, didn’t like sports, or hadn’t seen Happy Gilmore? Unlike Y/N, who does all that?”
Luke’s brows knit together. “Huh… that is kinda weird.”
Jack threw his hands up. “I love you, man, but sometimes you are so clueless.”
-------------------------------------
After you had destroyed the Taco Bell you had ordered, you were just about to settle in and keep watching Drive to Survive when you heard banging on your door. You debated not answering, as it was 9pm and you were wearing sweats and just a sports bra, but this person persisted, so you got up.
You sighed and opened it, expecting a neighbor. Instead, Luke stood there in a suit, looking a little disheveled.
“Can I come in?” he asked, and you stepped aside, letting him through.
He paced in your living room, running a hand through his curls. “You know where I’m supposed to be right now?” he asked, and you shook your head.
“I was supposed to be at that Italian place by the water. The big finale date for the whole ‘Bachelor’ thing.” He stopped, his gaze intense.
“Why aren’t you there?” you asked softly.
“I got there… and saw her waiting… and all I could think was how badly I wanted it to be you. I wanted to have dinner with you by the water, order shrimp scampi and lasagna, split both dishes. I wanted you there, telling me about some crazy future you put on the college football championship. I wanted you because you’re the one who gets me. I just… I just wanted it to be you.”
Luke’s breathing was heavy as he finished, and you stood there, speechless.
For a moment, you just stared at him, your heart pounding in your chest. All the little moments between you two flashed through your mind—every Tuesday night dinner, every laugh, every secret look you’d tried to brush aside. You’d waited so long to hear these words, but now that they were out in the open, you felt almost paralyzed by the intensity of it.
Luke took a step closer, his eyes searching yours. “I know I’m slow, okay? I know I’ve probably missed a thousand signs and chances. But standing there tonight… all I wanted was you.”
The vulnerability in his gaze melted any hesitation you still had. Gathering your courage, you took a breath and whispered, “It’s always been you, Luke. I just… I didn’t want to risk losing you if you didn’t feel the same.”
He reached out, brushing a stray hair behind your ear, his hand lingering at your cheek. “I’d never let that happen. You’re my best friend. But more than that…” He trailed off, his thumb grazing your cheek. “You’re everything.”
With his face inches from yours, you could barely breathe, but your heart answered for you. You leaned up and closed the gap, feeling his lips meet yours in a soft, unhurried kiss that spoke of all the moments you’d both been too afraid to admit. It was warm, familiar, and electric all at once, as though something that had been waiting years to begin had finally, perfectly, fallen into place.
When you pulled back, he kept his forehead resting against yours, eyes closed as he took a steadying breath. A small, slightly nervous smile crept onto his face. “Guess we’re going to have to relabel Tuesday as the official date night, huh?”
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tell me what if we could go back and take it all back
8x06 fix it • rated E • 3k words thank you @wikiangela and @beefcakekinard for all your help ♥
The box is on the kitchen island, untouched. It’s been sitting there for the past three days. He’s seen it as he’s walked in and out of his apartment, catching his eye every time; it almost felt like it was taunting him. Six months worth of memories sitting in a box no bigger than 10x10 inches — and that’s a small consolation. At least it’s a small box. At least no one had to rent a U-Haul this time.
It’s been gnawing at him for the past week, something like a dark shadow at the back of his mind that took over every once in a while when he caught himself ruminating, settling like a thick mist and shrouding his vision so much he couldn’t see five feet ahead of him. The only thing that has helped is keeping busy — with work, with his friends, babysitting his niece, going a little too hard at the gym.
Buck sits at the island, on the same chair he was on the last time he saw Tommy, staring at the box in silence, waiting for the owner of its contents to come by and take everything he’d left behind the day he’d walked out of Buck’s life, thick brown boots stomping on Buck’s heart on his way out.
There’s a couple of DVDs from one of their first dates that Tommy had brought over for them to watch, only to realise that Buck doesn’t have a DVD player, or any device capable of playing a DVD. The look on Tommy’s face at the revelation had been priceless. Buck winces at the image the memory conjures, something clutching at his heart the same way it has every time he’s thought about Tommy in the past week.
But Tommy’s on his way over to pick up the spare set of keys he’d given Buck pretty early on in their relationship. In case of an emergency, he’d said, and later given Buck permission to come over after work even if Tommy wasn’t off shift yet. How many times did he walk through the front door of his house and head straight to whichever room Buck was in? Bending over the armrest of his couch where Buck was lounging in his comfy sweats to greet him with an upside down kiss; coming around the kitchen table to wrap his arms around Buck’s middle and nuzzle his neck; sneaking into bed as quietly as possible even though Buck was a light sleeper who woke up every time and got a goodnight kiss before they fell asleep wrapped up in each other.
[continue reading on ao3]
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Sweet Tooth
A/N: Well let me say first and foremost. My bad guys. Lol I didn't mean to keep this rotting in my drafts for almost a year, but life got crazy. I hope you guys enjoy this
Warnings: Explicit. Oral(fem receiving) Body worship. Finger sucking. Squirting. Multiple orgasms. Willy being down bad.
Summary: You’re sweeter than any chocolate he could cook up, and Willy is all too eager to show you just how much he craves you. Your smiles, your attention…your taste.
The last few weeks of your life have been vibrant.
Filled with technicolor so unlike the dreary years you’ve spent in this town. Between the weather and the chipped cobblestone, England was so gray this time of year. Frigid and frozen over with winter winds and a constant flurry of snow.
It was on a particularly cold night that you’d found him.
Saved him, he’d argue whenever he told the story. Saved him from Bleacher and his mangy mutt.
“Don't you ever get tired of harassing people?” you'd sighed as you'd stumbled upon the scene. A familiar one- another poor soul about to get roped into Bleacher and Scrubbit’s barely concealed hoodwink. Everyone who’d grown up in this city knew better.
“Why don't you mind your business, Y/N. And leave us be. Both me and mister-” Bleacher looks to the man. The one with the sharp cheekbones and the ostentatious velvet trench coat.
“Wonka. Willy Wonka” And he’d said it with such innocence gleaming in those bright eyes that in that moment, you knew you couldn't let him fall victim to the cruel scam.
That’s how you’d ended up with an unexpected housemate.
The home you’d grown up in is nothing special and far from fancy, but you do happen to have a spare room. One with an old fold-out bed that’s more comfortable than it looks. It may have been stupid, but you couldn't help but trust him. Want to help him, feel this pull to him…
That was weeks ago. Almost a month now.
Willy living with you, under your roof, feels oddly natural. Like it had been years that the two of you had been co-existing, he fits into your space like he was destined to come to you. Like he belongs there; the two of you working together like a well oiled machine.
You cook dinner, he washes the dishes and wipes down the counters. The house has never been neater. Even though you try to deny them, every day when he returns from the Gallery Gourmet, he leaves silver shillings in the key bowl on the kitchen table.
“It’s not much…but I want to make sure I’m paying my way. I’m real appreciative of all you’ve done for me” he tells you so earnestly it makes you blush. You sneakily slip his sovereigns in the pockets of his trousers when you do his laundry.
He doesn't know it but he’s helped you too. And not just by scrubbing dishes.
You truly hadnt realized how lonely you were until he came along, and you were terrified of losing your found companion. You’d hold on to him for as long as he’d allow.
Your new favorite time of the day is the evenings; quiet ones. With a fire burning in the hearth and the radio playing softly. You and Willy curl up on the couch, warm in your respective quilts. And read. Well, you read to him. At his persistent insistence.
“Aren't you tired of me blabbing yet?” you tease as you pick up the dog eared copy of The Hobbit that the two of you had been working your way through.
Willy gives you a grin, all boyish and crooked “Never that. I adore the way you tell stories”
That makes your stomach swoop dangerously and you shake your head “You’re a flatter, Mr. Wonka”
“No, no. Your voice is more melodic than the bells of Notre Dame” and when he says things like that to you, how are you not supposed to swoon? From any other man it would make you scoff, but from Willy his compliments always feel different.
Like maybe he’s telling the truth…
You ignore it and change the subject to something that feels safer “One day i'm gonna put you in front of a map and make you show me all the places you’ve been”
“Honestly, It would probably be easier to mark off the few places I haven't been-”
“Oh ho ho ho. How modest of you, great explorer” You tease around a laugh and his ears redden a bit at your ribbing.
“It's not like that and you know it” Willy defends “It was a lot less glamorous than it sounds. I spent seven years under the deck scrubbing pots and then collecting ingredients for my chocolate whenever we made port”
“And wooing girls on every continent?” I ask and that blush on his ears spreads to the high apples of his cheeks.
He’s a pretty one and you know even though he pretends to be demure, might come off as innocent, he’s anything but.
You’d gotten a small taste of it, and hadn't thought of anything else since. But neither of you had quite mustered the bravery to talk about that yet.
The two of you settle in on the old worn couch with mugs of steaming hot chocolate, courtesy of Willy. He’d spoiled you rotten, made you develop a terrible sweet tooth. Any cavities you develop, you’re completely blaming on him.
“Willy” you whine.
“Just try it, please. I made this recipe especially for you”
You take a sip.
The first rush of flavor over your taste buds has your eyes fluttering.
“Mmm, oh my god” you can't help but moan. It’s the most complex thing you’ve ever tasted. Truly. He’s outdone himself- cinnamon and warmth.The kind that feels like a a lovers embrace. Sweet milk chocolate. Is that a hit of rose? “This is insane, what’s in this?”
At your praise Willy smiles like the cat that caught the canary “Cinnamon bark from Sri Lanka, Wild roses from China. Coconut milk”
You look over at him, appraising. Trying to figure out why his voice has taken on that husk. Why his eyes are boring into so intensely.
“What a peculiar combination of flavors” you whisper and Willy bites his lip.
“Its become my favorite combination lately” he admits “but I can't seem to get it quite right. You see, I was allowed to taste it only once, and its tormented me since”
Your breath hitches. Flashes of tangling tongues tongues and his lips pressed against yours. It had only been one kiss but it had wreaked havoc on you since.
You eyeball the mug in your hands. Maybe you weren't the only one suffering with the after effects after all.
“Is this chocolate supposed to taste like?...”
“You. Yes. Your kiss. Your tongue and your lips” Willy nods. “I don't know if anything can come close to the real thing, but I tried”
Your heart thunders behind your ribcage. The longing in his voice matches the one within your gut, the need that had been brewing.
“I’ve spent hours. Thinking of you, trying to imitate your taste so that I could have it one more time. Spicy, but not quite. More warm. Sweet…the floral note from your lipstick. I’ve been nearly everywhere and i’ve never sampled anything quite like it”
With his confession, the thin thread of control snaps.
You’d been trying, so hard. Trying not to scare him away. Trying to keep the intensity of your feelings at bay so that he’d stay, even after he secured his shop. That he wouldnt leave you when he found success-
You place the mug down on the old wood of the side table-
“Please” Willy’s pathetic as he grabs at your arm “Don't go, I understand if this was too much but I- I didn't know how else to show you”
You lean into his touch, not away and that seems to calm him if only just.
Of course this sweet silly man couldn't just tell you that he cared for you. That was not his style. He was bad with words, so much better with his hands. To him, he’d shown you the most sincere form of devotion, crafted your portrait with his most loved medium.
“I feel the same” you say, voice quivering just the tiniest bit. His eyes melt and he comes in close, forehead knocking against yours.
When you kiss him its hot from the start. It’s wet and electric, charged with emotion. With desperation. Willy’s sinewy hands are all over you, cupping your chin, squeezing your waist, so much more bold this time. The waiting had lowered any inhibitions he might have had.
It’s frantic, him unbuttoning your blouse and you tugging at his trousers.
You need more. Need to feel his dark silky hair between your fingers, his pale skin under your palms.
Nothing feels like enough. Not when he mouths at your garment covered breasts or when you wiggle out of your skirt.
You reach into his boxers, wanting to palm at the blood hot hardness you’ll find there-
He groans and pulls his mouth away from your neck, where he’d been suckling marks into the delicate skin. “Wait, don’t”
“Why?” you’re confused, you can feel him. Firm and needy under the cloth.
“Because I want to take care of you first. With my mouth. If you’ll let me”
And oh. Oh.
All you can do is nod. Lay back and let him take what he needs, you feel more vulnerable than ever before. When he blankets you with his body, you realize that you also feel safer. Adored by this man, by this odd beautiful man.
Willy is a tactile person. He wants to touch and taste. And so that is what he does.
There’s so much to feel. Your heavy breasts, peaked with hard little nipples that he swirls his tongue round. Your belly and wide hips, so soft, so much give, he watches his fingers dig in and indent. Your thighs, so plush.
He buries his head between them. And inhales, deeply.
“Willy!” you exclaim, scandalized, trying to close your legs, but he shoulders his way deeper.
“You smell so good” Willy reassures you, his nose pressed against the wet patch on your knickers. Groaning like it’s the best scent in the world.
He takes his time, savors the moment as he peels the damp fabric away. His eyes locked on how the strings of slick stretch and shine in the low fire light. You’re so wet, the puffy lips of your cunt sopping already. And when he takes his first tentative lap, he knows that he could do this for hours and there's no way he’d ever be able to replicate it.
Nectar from the gods. Earthy and sour sweet.
You whimper as he feasts, as he gorges greedily. The sight of his dark head bobbing between your thighs makes you shudder. It’s almost unreal. That he’s doing this, that he wants you. His arms are wrapped around the back of your thighs, holding them up, holding you open.
You come for the first time with your fingers buried in his hair, pressing his face deep into you. Riding his nose and tongue.
For the second time you’re arching away from the sharp pleasure.
“Willy” you choke on your whines as his fingers reach deep into you, hitting that sensitive place inside over and over. You’re shaking with overstimulation, but hes groaning like he’s the one being brought to orgasm over and over.
He pulls his wet mouth away every so often. To tell you how beautiful you are. How good you taste.
“I can’t” you whisper, warningly.
“Please” Willy insists, his breath against your clit “One more, one more for me”
You can't deny him anything, can you?
You arch right up from the couch cushions, squealing as you hit that peak again. But this time is different, this time something inside you bursts, pushing wetness out in a flood.
Willy lets out a gutted sound from where he’s smothered by your thighs, that have tightened vice like around his head during your orgasm.
Coming down from it is almost painful and you’ve never sobbed from pleasure but well. There’s a first time for everything. While you shake and shiver Willy’s gentle, petting your thighs and tummy in soothing circles. Pulling away from your over sensitive flesh.
He stares up at you, his gaze heavy and his tongue poking out every few seconds. Swiping at his wet lips. Like he can't stop tasting you. It’s debauched. Beautiful.
“You are the best thing i’ve ever tasted” Willy pants out the vow, raw with honesty. Drunk on the flavor of you.
Wryly, you wonder if he’ll try to manufacture it into a truffle. A fancy bon bon.
You smile as he climbs back fully on top of you, your arms wrapping around him and holding him close. You kiss the shell of his ear before whispering-
“My turn to taste you”
🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬
I never thought I’d be writing Willy Wonka smut but well. Here I am lol
#willy wonka x reader smut#willy wonka x reader#willy wonka smut#wonka x reader smut#wonka x reader#timothee chalamet smut
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Trope- exes. Who didnt end badly, still has residual feelings for each other & met again at a mutual friend’s birthday dinner/hangout (?) with prompts 36 & 46 ? 🤎
I went with Yoongi for this one since he’s like 99% of the requests I get. I hope that’s okay!
< I Will Always Love You >
Yoongi x Female Reader
Warnings: A few swear words
#36 “Are you finished, so you’ll listen to me?”
#46 “And I’m here to save you.”
*******************************************************
Twelve months…two weeks…four days…five hours. That is how long it’s been since you last saw him. Since you last saw Yoongi. That night your world came crashing down. The two of you had been arguing all week. Little things here and there.
He left a dirty coffee cup on the counter and an argument ensued.
You forgot to pick up his medicine at the pharmacy on your way home and he took it personally.
He did a load of laundry and accidentally shrunk your favorite sweater. He offered to buy you a new one that night but you felt like he did it out of spite.
You accidentally knocked over a glass of wine all over his laptop causing it to short circuit. He could easily afford a new one but it was the principal of it all that upset him.
The final straw was when he skipped date night. He left you sitting at home alone for hours watching the meal you had worked hard on go cold. When he finally walked through the door he said you guys needed to talk and you agreed. After almost two hours of you both pouring out your hearts you both agreed that your three year relationship had run its course and it was best to go your separate ways.
So you found yourself a cute little apartment several blocks away. Yoongi made sure to stay out of the way as you and your best friends Jungkook and Jin helped you pack up and move all of your things. As you were leaving Yoongi told you to take care of yourself and that he would always be there if you ever needed anything. You told him to the same even though you both knew deep down you would never contact each other again. You gave him a hug and walked out. That was the last time you saw him.
Because even though you shared many of the same friends it was surprisingly easy to avoid him. It also helped that it seemed like he was doing the same. One of you was always conveniently busy or sick so it worked out.
Except tonight. Tonight was the one night you couldn’t avoid. One of your good friends Jimin was getting married. He made you promise not to skip out on the wedding and of course you agreed even though you really wanted to, especially after getting confirmation that Yoongi would be there.
Things had gotten easier as time went on over the last year or so. You stopped crying over him every day. Then you stopped thinking about him every single day. You heard that he had started dating some woman a few months after your breakup. It hurt deeply but it also motivated you to try and move on too. You went on a few dates here and there. You had a small thing with some guy named Namjoon but even though he was really sweet and nice and handsome that fizzled out after a couple of months leaving you single again.
You somehow managed to get a last minute date for the wedding though. Your neighbor. He was cute but you quickly found out he was arrogant and rude. The first thing he said to you was how he thought your dress would be shorter and you had to watch him check out practically every woman at the wedding while you were sitting right next to him. Even though you were miserable and feeling more alone than ever as you watched Jimin saying ‘I do’ to the love of his life you still did your best to fake happiness.
Jimin and his new bride walked down the aisle and as you turned to see them off you saw him. Yoongi looked as beautiful as ever, his hair was longer and his suit was somehow casual yet still wedding appropriate and looked great on him. He was smiling at Jimin and his bride before looking back and smiling at a woman. She was gorgeous with a smile almost as beautiful as his. He looked happy and content and even though you felt a small burning sensation in your chest you were happy for him.
Cocktail hour flew by and then it was time for the reception. You did your best to avoid Yoongi as much as you could through the evening. You caught little glimpses but thankfully it didn’t seem like he saw you at all, or at least he was pretending like he didn’t which you appreciated.
Dinner was served and then you sat through several speeches. Jimins best man Hoseok recounted several funny stories, a few of which you personally remembered, and it felt really good to laugh like that again.
Then the dance floor was opened up. Your date surprisingly asked you to dance. You accepted and headed to the floor. Even though he was dancing with you, his eyes were scanning over every other woman within the vicinity. At one point he even creepily licked his lips earning an eye roll from you.
“Hey uh you ready to go? I think we should find a room so we can finally be alone.”, he mumbled in your ear.
“No thanks.”
“Come on Y/N, don’t be such a prude.”
“She said she’s not interested. So I suggest you fuck off. Maybe try one of the other women you’ve been staring at all night.”, a very deep and very familiar voice said from behind you.
Yoongi and your date were having a stare down before your date scoffed mumbling something about you not being worth the trouble and walking away.
“Want to dance?”, he asked stepping in front of you.
Speechless you nodded. As he placed his hands on your hips it felt like your body was on fire and you wanted to lean into him to savor the feeling.
“Yoongi I…I thought you were here with a date.”, you questioned.
He smiled, “I was…I was dancing over there with her and then I saw how uncomfortable you were and now I’m here to save you.”
You quickly backed out of his grasp, “What?! Yoongi I’m not going to be the reason you two break up. You’re disgusting for doing that to her.”
You stormed out to the balcony area needing some fresh air. Yoongi followed closely behind.
You had tears already forming from all of the emotions you were struggling to sort through, “Leave me alone Yoongi. Please just go back to your date. I’m not going to be the reason something happens between the two of you. I don’t want her to get upset with me or think I’m trying to get you back or something.”, you pinched the bridge of your nose trying to stop the tears from falling, “I just want you to be happy and you looked so happy earlier and that makes me so happy and I just…”
You were in a panic thanks to feeling guilty because what if she saw you two and feeling angry that he would do that to her and feeling hurt at the reminder that he wasn’t yours and finally feeling a sense of relief at having him so close once again. The comforting mix of his cologne and shampoo taking you back to a simpler time but making it all worse.
He lightly chuckled before wrapping you in his arms allowing you to cry into his chest, “Y/N, are you finished, so you’ll listen to me?”
You nodded, though refusing to look at him.
“She’s not my date like that.”, he said causing you to finally look up at him in confusion. He used his thumb to wipe away the tears on your cheek.
“She’s just a friend.”, he said making you roll your eyes. He laughed but continued, “She’s just a friend who has a huge huge HUGE crush on Hobi but was too nervous to ask him out. She asked if I would be her date tonight until she had a couple drinks and worked up the courage to tell him.”, he turned and smirked, “And it looks like it worked.”
You looked over and saw Hobi and that woman slow dancing while smiling lovingly at each other.
Yoongi continued, “And if you must know I was so happy earlier because I got to see you Y/N. I miss you. I was hoping you’d be here but then I saw you had a date. Jimin said he was no one but I didn’t want to overstep any boundaries.”
“Yeah he was a mistake more than anything.”, you grumbled getting a smile out of Yoongi.
He wrapped his arms around you again and you allowed your body melt into his, “I missed you Yoongi.”, you mumbled into his skin.
“I missed you to Y/N. Fuck, I was so stupid for ever letting you go.”
“I should’ve fought harder too. I was just so tired of the arguing and feeling like everything was falling apart.”, you sniffled feeling tears begin to form again.
“Hey hey don’t cry any more. Y/N I hate seeing you cry. I’m here now. And maybe…maybe if you want to…we can start over.”
You looked up taking in his soft features and he gave you a small smile.
You nodded and gave his cheek a kiss which he happily received.
At some point someone had cracked open the door to allow the chill air to fill into the reception room which also let the soft hum of the music stream out onto the patio.
“They’re playing our song.”, you smiled as the familiar tune of I Will Always Love You rang through the air. Yoongi had sung the song to you one night after your first big fight. You were convinced that he was going to leave you. He wasn’t great at speaking his mind so instead he pulled you down on his lap and sang the song trying to do his best Whitney Houston impression. He did it to cheer you up but also let you know that no matter what happened between you two he was always going to love you. After that night it became your song.
Yoongi smirked, “Yeah I think our friends might’ve had something to do with that.”
He was was pointing inside and you saw a group of your friends staring at you both while giggling and giving you a thumbs up.
“Well if they want a show then we’ll give them a show.”, he said before taking your hand, “Y/N will you dance with me?”
Your heart felt like it was going to burst but you agreed before he quickly twirled you around and back into his comforting arms once again.
#bts#yoongi x reader#yoongi fanfic#min yoongi#bts fanfic#yoongi x y/n#bts x reader#yoongi fic#yoongi angst#bts yoongi#yoongi fluff
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Her smile couldn't be contained watching as he stood centimeters from her. Hiding how she felt and what she anticipated was not possible in any way or form. Laurel's eyes fluttered shut upon feeling those soft, lovely lips she had been hooked on from the start. "High praise, and you say I'm the one with the flirting skills," she teased, her hands cupping his face before pulling him in for a kiss of her own. The last two have been initiated by him, it was high time she give one to him. It's all she'd been thinking about for the last two weeks. "Hey, that night was great. No apology needed. I understand family, I just got it all mixed up. That's so sweet, being so close to your little sister." She zipped up her lips, "You're a great brother, and don't worry, I'll keep your secret." He had mentioned that last time, with that same sad tone. Chicago really was home, it seemed. "Well, for what it's worth, Austin is not that bad. It grows on you for sure, but don't say goodbye to Chicago. You never know where life could take you." Laurel was giddy at the thought of him meeting Julia and Aaron. Julia will be thrilled, especially when she was already such a big fan. "Wait, that's great! I love it, I'll let them know meeting you has made it to the itinerary."
It hadn't occurred to her that her answers had a deeper meaning somewhere in there, but she had said she was an open book. "I'll hold you to that," she said with a smile, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. His question had thrown her off for a second. "Yeah. My mom, when she was still around. She was always going on and on about being a bit much, which is fine. It makes sense, I suppose. It helped me learned to tone it down." Though, she supposed toning it down was debatable. "Really? You'd learn with me. That would be so much fun, and we'd get a new skill out of it. Hopefully, some good food too." The thought was intriguing - her mind already trying to think of how could they make this work. Maybe borrowing her dad's kitchen, because the communal kitchen in the dorm buildings wouldn't cut it. "True, but it's all you at the end of the day. Pretty green eyes," and just like that - new nickname unlocked.
Laurel happily listened to him talk about his family. Usually, the family talk bummed her out, only reminding her of the odd mess she had. But, hearing him was a breath of fresh air. His family just sounded so sweet, full of love. Hearing that kind of love envelop him comforted her, especially when she thought back to the melancholy in his tone now. "Fooled me, or drew me in?" Wasn't it all about perspective? "Both of them like dancing, sounds like I need to thank them for their hard work teaching you. So, you're a snow over heat kind of guy?" Yet, he ended up here. How amusing. "That sounds so relaxing, cabin for holidays. You'll have to let me know how it goes. To Aspen? Unfortunately, no because you make it sound so fun. When we did vacations, my mom was always picking the places, and it was New York or Paris. I was also a kid, so it was a lot of following her around during shopping trips and then spending time with some random caretaker while they went out. Once it became my dad and I, then we tried visiting the Grand Canyon and sprained his ankle, so vacation cut short. But, his job keeps him busy too, so vacations are not too fun." He did try though, and that effort was everything to her. "Oh, true. Nerdy can be hot though, still doesn't matter if it's others' favorite hobby. Just yours. A self-help book, to teach others to flirt with you? No, thank you. I'll politely decline," she joked with a wink in his direction.
Something in common made her feel excited, eager to discover what else they could have in common. The possibilities seemed endless, which only made it better. "Random hobbies, huh? I mean, I'll try anything once really," that was said with a shrug. Her curiosity had a tendency to lead her to the most odd roads. "Are you trying to test my knowledge? Maybe so, or maybe I don't, but I could just throw random moves together and you wouldn't even know the difference. I'd have to dig the pom poms out of retirement," she laughed at the thought, though her attention was drawn back to his words. Laurel had never thought of silence that way, but there was no way to say that without it sounding pitiful. "The first one sounds familiar, but I guess I haven't had much of that second option. It could also be because I can never be quiet." Deflecting with jokes, a fine option. "You are just checking off all my boxes - cooking classes and stargazing, I am too lucky. I will be taking you up on that offer! I don't need the facts, just the company." His company, more specifically. "Yes, sounds like a plan. I still need to see these awesome blankets you hyped up earlier." They'd covered a decent amount of things already in the getting to know you trail, but she was quick to think of other things. "Okay, favorite color and what's one place, anywhere in the world, that you've always wanted to visit?"
Eli smiled and sighed as he chewed his lip before getting up off the chair to be centimeters away from her face. That almost mischievous childlike smile displayed as he brought her chin up with his fingertip and pressed a fleeting but warm kiss on her soft plump lips. "I don't think kissing you would ever disappoint me." He situated himself back on his chair and wrapped his ankles around the legs of the seat. "The saddle night was a good day. I'm sorry it got cut short. My little sister needed me and if you ever meet her, you'd see why. She and I are really close. She's my best friend. Just don't tell my brother and sister," he chuckled making his eyebrows crease. "Our little secret." The thought had crossed his mind once but ended up deciding that it was best if he didn't. "I wanted to but I think I'm going to stay or find some place to settle that would still be a flight away from them. I think I exhausted my time in Chicago." A sort of melancholy took over his voice saying that out loud. Her excitement was contagious and it made him nod. "I'd love to meet your best friends. That's a genuine feeling because I don't normally like to meet people." The bribery bit had him smile at her. He did wonder what she'd have up her sleeve.
"Don't worry about that. I don't deem you too much. Has anyone ever deemed you to be too much?" His curiosity had gotten him to ask the question. Otherwise he didn't think she'd have hesitancy over being known. "Realism isn't a bad thing. Though it's good to have a balance." he hummed and nodded. "We can learn together. I know a few things but the kitchen isn't really my forte. Eating is though. I wouldn't mind learning together and coming up with different recipes to try." It was a nice thought. Laurel and him in the kitchen making something and having fun. Not paying too much attention to the exact recipe just winging it at times. He smiled as they fluttered one quick time and shook his head. "I'll proudly take the title then. I don't know who to thank. Mom or dad could have had green eyes. Who knows."
"I fooled you with my subpar dancing skills. Mama P used to love to be twirled so every chance we got we used to twirl her. So she'd take us around the kitchen to dance. It was Papa P who used to teach us how to lead." The last time he skiied was last Christmas. The last holiday that was normal. "Not since last year. It was a family trip. I've got a picture of that time in my dorm. I love the snow. It's a magical place and would love to go back. Maybe rent a cabin and spend the holidays there." A dream he knew that couldn't be made reality since he didn't have the funds to actually do it. At least not yet. "Have you ever been?" He shrugged his shoulders and cleared his throat. "Some people deem readers dorky and nerdy. So, it is not everyone's favorite hobby." She was cute when she laughed and her eyes sparkled with that joy. "It has worked. You have charmed me. Maybe now you should write a self help book on how to flirt the right amount."
"A one person type huh? Seems like we've got that in common." The smile he threw her was one that was half amused. "Cheerleading and tennis? Consider me more than intrigued. Do you still remember your cheer routine?" He'd wait until later to let her know he was one of the few cheer guys at the bottom of the pyramid. She didn't need to know that right now. "Silence isn't all bad. It depends on the person you're with. If they're using silence as a means for punishment then yeah that is not good. But if you're sitting in silence with someone who makes it safe and warm then you'd find it's also very fun. As for stargazing we should go sometime? I can't say I'll be full of facts but maybe I'll end up surprising you." Just then their food arrived and he grabbed it. "Shall we head back to the room?"
#DON'T MAKE ME CRY RIGHT NOW 😭😭😭😭 not all silence being bad!!!#she will be learning that with him!!#babygirl being copy paste is the biggest menace since he came into her life#isa is watching very very proudly!! he is so so happy for him#pls i'm so so amused rn..he was in cheer too..cracking up!
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gOise, kinikilig ako HUHUHUHUHUHUHU 1k followers na me on shopee 🥺🤍✨️💐 im so happeh!! this week has been challenging to say the least, but the reason is more personal, and it has nothing to do with my business HEHEHEHE as you can see, the business is thriving and i am vvv happy and im extra happy that people i love and people who love me are happy for me 🥹🦋
things are looking up day by day—my goal for this week was to go on live for straight five days, reach 1k followers, and at least earn a certain amount for those five days 🙈🌻 safe to say, today is my fifth day and i havent actually went on live yet, but ive already achieved 1k followers and have honestly gone over my target earnings HUHUHU
im sO excOited to go on live again tonight hihi i'll be flexing women's footwear naman—boots, heels, and sandals 🌼🎀 if you gOise are interested, you can check out my shopee page here 💋🥰
p.s. the photos of clothes + shoes are actually the cover photos ive used on my recent lives ♡ ako mismo nagtake photos niyan + edit kasi maarti ako ih, gusto ko iba-iba every live para masaya and para ma-challenge ako nyahahahahaha
p.p.s. super cute and nakakasofffft our furbebis, lalo si borgun, kasi every live talaga, sinasamahan niya ko like kung nasa sala ako or second room, nandoon din siya the whole live huhu he is such a sweet bebi bOi tologo 🐶💞
#donut#cottoncandy#cookie#cake#icecream#grabe yung kilig happiness and excitement kooooooooooooo#HUHUHU THANK YOU LORD GOD YOURE THE BEST#nakakatawa kasi may isa akong live na inabot na pala ako ng almost 6 hours lmao di ko na napansin HAHAHHAHAHAH#my stats are good din huhu yung isang live ko 16k views ata HUHUHU goods yun for me mga love wooh yay
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oops! all wips
#dndads#1st img is morgan . tried to solidify the type of person that would marry glenn & jodie and its like#manic pixie dream girl meets wife under bedsheets. fun loving carefree extremely irresponsible i imagine shes as much a bad mom as glenn is#a bad dad#close family dinner for each day of the week#i imagine its very depressing cool for kids sad for adult/college life meals#i had like a pmv/animatic of tmbg erase to nicks everything but ill never finish it sadge!#comic in the middle i was gonna do like a immediately after the final where willys defeated and schools out for summer norm and scary run#into eachother while theyre walking home#and scary would ask whats wrong and normal would be like#well knowing that the entire world ended because of me has been sort of weighing#on me yeah“ and then scary would go ”normal...do you wish that *was* the reason?“ which would lead normal getting dumbstuck cuz she hits#the nail on the hammer. and then hes incredibly defensive and hes like uh b buh NO !!! MAYBE !!! and scary would share her experience#but itd make normal more resentful cuz hed be like well it all worked out for you in the end with you and your dad and you mom who all love#you. and then scary would get irked and start to call him out but then now that the bottles been uncorked his resentment would start#spilling out.#“you burned my house down! i thought it was *my* family that had the connection with the doodler ! but why- when- ”#and normal would be so frustrated and he couldnt get his words out and hed refuse to look at scary while she looks at him w/ the hardest#look of conflicted sympathy and pain#and all she could say would be stop comparing yourself to me and shed mean that in the most compassionate way possible and norm would just#be like i know#and then the bus would come and scary would have to go but shed look back and then be like “am i still coming over saturday to play#and him busy crying would just give a thumbs up#god now that i write this out maybe i will draw it i have a little bit of time left why not#to me i think scarys someone normal would have the easiest time being mean to#one because of his latent misogyny and this like unconscious superciliousness he holds towards her yet shes the one receiving the#validation he sorely craves and knowing if theres anyone he could talk to and whos understand what hes going through its her so though he#isnt able to be emotionally vulnerable or engage in a deeper level but he does feel comfortable enough to lash out at her#last pic is if nick woke up post doodlerized and found himself on cassandras couch (where the teens placed him) and shes there to greet him
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Currently in my banging my head against the wall phase. Hope you all are well 🥰
#Doc told me to schedule another MRI on Tuesday. They said they sent the order over on Tuesday.#I call on Tuesday to schedule the appointment. They don't have the referral yet#I called yesterday to try and schedule. They STILL don't have the referral#I message my doc and make sure they actually sent it over to the right place. (They did.)#They say they'll fax it over again! Great!#I call AGAIN today. They STILL don't have the referral#Bro I just need to schedule this fucking MRI so I can find out what's WRONG with me#The girl on the phone was like 'Oh yeah we're real busy we get orders all the time it must not have hit the system yet'#BRO IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS. HOW HAS NOBODY SEEN IT. TEARING my hair out#I went to their website to try and schedule online. Guess what? THEIR GODDAMN SCHEDULING ASSISTANT IS DOWN FOR MAITENANCE#SCREAMS#Anyway yes so in my banging my head against the wall phase. I'm so tired#And still in pain! To nobody's surprise!!#They can't fix what's wrong with me if I can't even get in to get an MRI. Hello. PLEASE#This isn't really smth that can wait a couple weeks#I should've been in to see them like YESTERDAY.#My pain is so bad I had to stay at home today. And I go and ice my back every hour or so#Bc I can't sit down for more than 45 minutes without wanting to kill myself ;))))#Shima speaks#I'M SORRY I'm just so. I've been over this for months. And now that I'm THIS close to getting answers#I can't. Seem to get these people to schedule an appointment for me#Grinds my teeth
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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please forgive me, but I need to complain and over-share or my brain is going to explode please feel free to ignore
#I'm not doing well.#the last two places I worked (in a tourism-adjacent sector) closed. broadly speaking due to post-lockdown financial issues#for the past year at my current job I've been earning less than half what I used to. this was the only offer I got at the time and#I haven't found anything better since. this is not sustainable I'm barely making it each month...#I live with my parents and cancelled my health insurance I don't know how else to reduce my budget. it's depressing tbh#the solution is obviously to find a better job but that's just not happening and I'm beginning to feel discouraged.#I hate being negative it's a very unattractive character trait but I just feel myself slipping and spiraling#I know I should be taking short courses or volunteering to boost my cv but like when ! and how !#I can't afford to work less but I get home at 20h so even evening courses are tricky. I work every other saturday too so weekends are out#and like I do need to rest at some point you can't be depressed and burnt out that's a terrible combo#was looking at a dtp/typesetting short course and 1) I'll need a new computer that can actually run design programs#and 2) the course itself is like 2 month's salaries which I cannot realistically save right now#and yet I'm still ''over-qualified'' for entry level positions because I went to uni. well maybe that's just a polite excuse#because as interesting as my humanities degrees were they didn't equip me with any practical or marketable skills#besides being good at reading and writing. but AI can do that for free now so that's not helpful#I always thought I was reasonably intelligent but I cannot solve this puzzle. there must be a creative solution that I'm missing#but i feel so stuck and trapped#and at least once a week some poor soul stumbles in to the office practically begging for a job so I feel bad for complaining#a little truly is better than nothing#but thank god we elected more pro-business capitalists into government that really is going to be great for us workers (sarcasm)#also I should acknowledge#I am getting some déjà vu. I feel like I've vented about this topic before#the difference is. back then it was a potential concern. now the concern has materialised into reality and rendered the situation desperate
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how are my mutuals doing
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#i was busy the last few days writing a report for class. on friday i spent 9 hrs w writing 😬 im drained now from the past few days#exams start in 2 weeks so i basically have to spend all my free time studying starting from today ugh#ive been on T for a little over 2 weeks now haven't noticed any changes so far except maybe some ~sensations~ considering voice and#bottom growth. my throat has hurt a bit for a few days but i might also just have gotten a cold. i feel however like my voice is a little#deeper right after waking up and trying to speak deeper than my usual speaking voice has become a bit easier. i have to put effort into it#though. also bottom growth idk if the sensations are just a usual phase of sensations dowm there that i sometimes get anyway#or if it's actual bottom growth. i could be imagining the voice and bottom growth stuff. that's how tiny the changes in sensation are#still it makes me euphoric 😁#i haven't talked to my family abt trans stuff again and there's a slight tension between us that im not sure what to do w#but im seeing my therapist this week to discuss all of this#i don't have any health updates bc i haven't seen that doctor again yet my next appointment is in april and since I didn't get a call from#them i suppose nothing is urgently bad so i hope it's all just fine but ill hear abt it in april
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#so its been 3 months exactly since me & my ex like... said farewell#very dramatically#i just found out he blocked me on tiktok. 2 months ago i would've been devastated but now i just feel kinda bummed out#like is this really how 4 years of best friendship & 1 year of dating fuckery ends? damn lol it wasn't even all that#but mostly i just think its extremely pathetic & childish and LOSERRRR BEHAVIORRRR . for a 100k tiktok acc#to block a 150 follower account that doesnt even follow him + doesnt interact#like ok you said you weren't in love with me?? yet you feel the need to block me 3 months after the fact#im minding my business unless he breaks first (which has been the case a few times)#its still hard to get over him but he's making it easier every day!#just yesterday i was on the train On my way! to a concert & i remembered the afternoon before my harry concert in june last night#the mutual interest if you will had been re-established like a week prior & i texted him if he wanted to hang out and he said yes (ofc)#and the tension.......... GOD I MISS THATHSFDJKFS#walking around decathlon flirting oh it was SO STUPIDDD. THE GIGGLES. personally i've never really experienced that on that level before bc#like it's the best friends to lovers thing its the fact that we both felt the energy shift very clearly and were leaning into it#but not actually doing anything about it yet#just making stupid jokes flirting giggling but acting like actually nothing is going on#when i damn well know that if any of my friends saw us that afternoon they would've side eyed us SOOOOO HAARDDDDD#not to wax poetic over the guy who fucked me over so many times but. the electric energy .....#i'm probably not going to feel That ever again#whatever! whatever#txt
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#vent post#day job has cut my hours to 4h or less per week#I haven't had an audition since summer or been on set since july#and the stuff i try to self submit too either change the role completely (like change gender or age range)-#or just never respond to my messages#even on messenger they didn't even bother to look!#so frustrating#there is next to no better job opportunities here#and i can't really afford to either buy a car or move closer to a city- cause you know- I'm not making any money!#like i feel stuck no matter what i do#quit current job and maybe end up doing the same damn thing dealing with the same problems + new ones#move out and struggle to live on my own or move in with a random ass roommate just to get by#stay with the current job and settle for less then bare minimum#i'm sick of fast food but it's the only thing i know and they only thing available here#i already tried to quit to focus on just acting but it's not possible with no income#i don't know what to do#i'm miserable- i'm exhausted#i stay up all night and sleep all day now and spend my waking hours stressed about this shit or just sitting here too tired to do anything#and the kicker is I'm kind dreading Halloween and my bday this cause i have no one to spend it with#i get it people are busy that's how it goes- but i just know my birthday will get ignored or go unnoticed#it happened last year- someone else had the same birthday and they were getting lots of love#yet i got nothing- the same people who are also my 'friends' they gave them love but said nothing to me -not a fb post or a message- nothin#made me feel so worthless#so lonely you know#i try to go online to make myself feel better or distract for a bit#and i keep seeing people suffer from stuff i can never comprehend asking for help and I can't help them#and i fell guilt for even being miserable while i have a roof over my head and food to eat and they lost everything#guilt shame anger you name it#it's just horrible#my post.
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I'm ngl was scared of going to one of my jobs bc i have certain trains of thought that get triggered in familiar places where i had those thoughts before especially when my mind wanders which is especially hard to control when idle/doing menial tasks and I'm not allowed to have music/ electronics so i can't distract myself easily. but work was so good today holy shit. my coworkers seemed happy to see me! i met someone really cool with similar music taste! we yapped for an hour! she told me to visit her in the future! i had a really busy and filled schedule! i get to play with kids! I get to help people! life is good!
#kk rambles#there are some thoughts that suck me into a hole so i just try to not go near them#and that's why it's been so nice to have someone at my doorstep almost every weekend lol#i went thrifting last week w my friend! I'm going to see a gallery this weekend! i have plans to go skating w my friends soon!#my friend has plans to go to a board game cafe w me! one of my friends is trying to get me to go to a con soon!#my friend told me she dreamed of cooking with me and saving my ass from a basketball lmao#i gave my neighbours baked goods and they told me i was welcome over anytime!#i keep imagining myself as a hikkikomori but maybe i also kinda am a 现充? am i making the most out of it? maybe?#the part where Kita was like oh i wanted to invite bocchi but i had plans every week... starting to realize that's... maybe... me..?#i had promised to meet up w a friend but it's been months and i still haven't put it on schedule yet bc life is so busy 😭#i am a ryo/bocchi at heart where I'm ok w being alone/sometimes i think nobody knows me but my masking skills are Kita level#everyone I've gone out with one on one wants to see me again! so there's probably something likeable about me!#I'm ngl being discarded really does shit to your mentality like even when I'm very aware sometimes i realize afterwards#what I'm like is not defined by how others treat me is what i try to tell myself#especially when the majority of people in my life treat me with care and respect and love! people like me!#i just get stuck on the small cases where things don't turn out well but. data analysis wise. we would call those outliers and discard them.#unfortunately the brain is not a computer and as heavily i lean into t vs f i still do feel emotions : D#but it's nice to be able to feel joy and appreciation and to feel really loved by my friends
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I just wanna say it's always fine to take your time and I think I speak for the people when I say I'm happy to wait for your thoughts and analysis, especially on stuff like this.
Oh, this is very sweet, thank you! I’m always so excited to talk with you (and everyone in this little fandom space!! I love reading everyone’s thoughts!!!), so I always try to answer asks and notes as soon as possible — and then I get guilty when I can’t 😅
But that’s a *me* problem!! I always encourage people to take the time they need to answer & post stuff, so… why shouldn’t the rule work for me too? I’ll try to work on it — and I hope you’ll be patient with me if I keep apologising about this stuff!
#it’s a mixture of general excitement and wanting to tell you that I have read what you wrote to me and I think it’s really interesting!!!#this has been a *busy* busy week for me and it’s not over yet#plus you really kicked my brain into action with this whole languages/heritages thing#hence the wait haha. but I want to thank you again — it’s a *really* interesting subject!#(incidentally — I have read your other ask about Dorothy and I will answer that one too as soon as I have a minute!)#you’re very kind! thank you for being understanding :) everyone in this space is so lovely#ask#also wdym you’re happy to wait for my thoughts. like I get what you mean but it’s wild to me#people want to hear what *i* think??? i can’t wrap my head around it lmao#it’s an incredible feeling!! i am tearfully cradling this ask near my chest anon!!!!
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