#this has actually happened to multiple friends

[cryptid-crow-writing]

Mmmm. Can I add to this? Let me just:

At the cry from the English Alcoholic Occult Conman, Jason gives a deep giggle. “Yeah, sorry about that, but you really should be careful of how you handle your soul. Did you know they can be sold, bet, and traded? I happen to be very good at poker and know some very powerful people,” Jason offers.

The look on Constantine’s face in reply as he pales causes Jason to giggle harder. Jason ends up bent over his knees and needing to take gasps of breath as he tries to stop laughing. “Oh, fuck! I haven’t laughed that hard since the day I first got it! Granted I didn’t need to breathe then. Oh, but the look on your face. Oh, Danny’s gonna love that. I’m so glad my helmet records video feed.”

Bruce, baffled by Jason’s reply, snaps, “Red Hood, why and how? I suggest you explain.”

Jason, clearly smug, complies, “Okay. I’ll spill. You know, I used to be dead, was for quite a while. Well, I happened to make some friends while on the other side. One of them just so happens to be Lady Gotham herself. She’s quite proud of me, actually. So she liked to show me off. Well, she brought me an’ another of my friends to a poker match between multiple occult beings. I know how to play poker, but Danny, my friend, did’t. I agreed to play a match to show Danny how. Well one thing led to another, and Mama Gotham fought off some very pissed off demons while Danny and I flew off with our spoils. I got ahold of one of John’s contacts that day. I’ve been hunting more down ever since, with a little help of course now that I’m alive again.”

After Jason finished explaining, a series of face palms and laughter go through the group of gathered Justice League members. Wonder Woman, having face palmed, sighs deeply with a defeated yet bemused smile. “Oh goodness,” she mumbled clear refraining from laughter. “Some days I question why I left Themyscira.”

Flash is bent over his knees, wheezing in laughter, while Hal Jordan floats beside him, gripping at his abdomen as he laughs, before falling to the floor with an, “Oof, ooooow.”

Aquaman has his hands on his hips with his head tipped down, biting on his lip trying to refrain from laughter. Black canary rubs the bridge of her nose with a sigh, grimace, and an arm crossed along her chest. Martian Manhunter stands, simply bewildered.

Batman has simply covered his face. He’s clearly put out by the reminder if how chaotic his kids clearly are.

“Nnnn,” is all Bruce can seem to get out as a grumble.

DPxDC

Jason Todd owns a part of Constantine’s soul. From when he was dead and in the realms he played poker against a demon or something and won it.

Fast forward to him being alive and seeing John in the watchtower or something and I HC that you can tell someone owns your soul you feel it or something. And so in horror John realizes Red hood owns a share of his soul. John having no idea how this guy owns it.

Idk if it’s known that Red Hood is Jason or not

Learns his soul was traded and is disgruntled to learn that.

[missingininaction]

alright, friends, i might say something you don't like but i think it's important. not just to defend a character, but because i think this is literally making people's experience and relationship with this game worse.

give jimmy like two seconds to exist.

by hating jimmy so much you refuse to even say his name, and judge real, living people for liking him, you are cheapening your experience by boiling down the main character to the most ~yuckiest~ moments. and, by not making a seperate space for hating on him, you are drowning out the voices of people who actually have nuanced things to say about his character. you know, the skilled writers and artists that feed the fandom? limitation is what kills fandoms, you have to know that.

is jimmy a good person? no. is he a good captain/companion/worker? Absolutely Not! he crumbles like dust under any pressure and he immediately shifts blame off of himself, he is an actively harmful individual and it's right to be upset by his actions. i literally had to stop myself from saying "man FUCK jimmy." multiple times because i didn't want to spoil how terrible he got to my friends when i showed the game to them.

but you have to understand; people are more than their actions. thats part of the entire point of the game. thats why its so abstract. you are meant to think about the nuances of their situation.

we can agree that anya was way more as a woman than what happened to her and what she did as a result of it, right? that despite her best efforts, she was a victim of circumstance, and she deserves to be understood and analyzed fully?

then why, seeing a fictional man who has done immoral things, are you so disgusted you won't even draw, write or discuss him outside of hate? what is that doing for you, to ignore literally the main character of the game because of his actions?

now, this is not to say people can't hate jimmy. i understand it! as someone who has been a victim of s/a and abuse, i understand if you hate him and are even triggered by him to the point of avoiding mention of him. (but...why are you in this fandom? ((not aggressive im genuinely asking)))

you can feel however you want about any character, my goal is not to control people. but i thought it was common knowledge to not hatepost about someone in their tag? over actual insight into his character and, you know, the main themes of the game?

jimmy is a man who has struggled his whole life. both him and curly confirm that in the game. he's unable to control his emotional outbursts, and he likely had no idea what to expect from being in fucking SPACE for over a year with people he probably didn't even know before that trip. and pony express and their corporate safety corner cutting certainly didnt help, did it?

for one reason or another, he most likely was never actually taught how to manage his emotions. that's just how it is sometimes, growing up as a man. and it would make sense if he was forced to deal with everything himself, no? he always complains, but he still says he'll handle it. because that's what he's always had to do. and this is just the start of what i could say about what made him the way that he is.

he's a victim too, not only of his own actions.

surprise surprise, people who do awful things can also be victims.

honestly, this entire situation baffles me. how are you going to avoid one of the main characters of the game, let alone the one you play as ninety percent of the time? mind you, curly is also guilty, and i am happy to see at least some people giving him space for nuance. because he is also a victim!!! why is it so impossible to see jimmy as nuanced, when literally every other character also has incredible depth to them??

you're tarnishing and spitting on the beautiful writing of this game just because one character is too icky for you to feel comfortable thinking about for too long. it's horror, you absolute morons. it's supposed to make you uncomfortable.

if you hate jimmy, i dont blame you. but please, please, make your own space for it. be kind to people who want to explore jimmy and the darker themes, and like him for what his character represents. this is a video game fandom, not a witch hunt. and please, learn some fandom etiquette while you're at it, okay? okay. thank you

also just say his name. its not a slur youre not gonna go to hell if you say jimmy. like this isn't as important but still it just feels like a microcosm of this whole thing.

[gyuuberryy]

No fucking way, that bitch accused you too? WTH

https://www.tumblr.com/aifairy/767667992231280640/not-sure-but-this-fic-genuinely-seemed-odd-when-i?source=share

LMAOO I CACKLED WHEN I READ THAT POST THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW😂 They're using free AI checkers online and claim that they "can tell if a fic was AI generated or not". These may not really be professional credentials, but I am a computer science student(IB Higher level that too!!) AND planning to pursue it in uni, so I know enough about AI. Using AI for unethical work is..well unethical! Which is why I've never used it for writing fanfics, a purpose that doesn't really hold a lot of importance in people's lives??? AI generates the same ugly, repetitive response everytime so I wouldn't even think about resorting to it, and I don't see how Fatal Trouble shows that pattern.

@aifairy claims that chatgpt generated a similar response to my fic. first of all, the images they've attached are not the same as what I've written at all. it's talking about sunghoon giving a bite mark on the reader's neck and her thinking about the night it happened. HELLO HAVE YOU READ THE FIC? he hasn't bitten her even ONCE??? there was just a suggestive allusion to it in the end. And seriously? They're using AI checkers like ZeroGPT and GPTZero for this? Hilarious.

I can assure you I've never wasted my time by using AI to write my fics like I couldn't even think about it. Here are some things about me which will hopefully make my intentions of writing on this platform clearer:

I've been writing online since the age of 13(2020) I don't think most of the population knew about generative AI. I used to be on wattpad before tumblr and my writing has improved quite a bit since then. I joined Tumblr in 2022 and wrote a fic about the show Wednesday(again, generative AI was not trendy, where I live atleast)So what I'm trying to say is I've been writing A LONG time before language modeling AIs became trendy. I've never switched to them.

Writing and reading has been a passionate hobby of mine since I was very young. I've received several academic proficiency awards for high level subjects in english literature, english language as well other languages at school, my works have been published in my school magazines and literary competitions multiple times. I have absolutely no problem in coming up with good content and am able to execute it properly as well.

I dedicate a good amount of time every week to writing. I only stick to fanfics online, because they're more popular and in demand than writing stories with your own OCs from my experience. I want to work on writing actual stories but I'm still a school going student so I don't have enough time for that. And at the same time on tumblr I get to connect with people who share the same interest as me :)

So basically what I want to say is I do not use and have NEVER used AI to write fics, I have not used it for Fatal Trouble or any other fics from my master list. I'm literally putting out fics I've worked hard on for FREE on this platform so others from the same fantom can enjoy it as well. Be respectful about it and stop being discouraging. DON'T LIKE IT DON'T READ IT. Writing on this account helps me improve my skills and get feedback. I don't care about what someone random online accuses me of, because ik that irl, my family, teachers and friends are aware about my skills and support me and I'm doing well in them as well :)) so I'm not going to be discouraged and stop writing<33

[ryomaandgundhamkin]

MASM SUN… YOU RUINED ME THIS EPISOde

okay you know what, I know nothing about masm so you can prove me wrong on anything I say, this is JUST based off todays episode.

I FEEL SO BAD FOR MOON NOW. But I’m not too disappointed about the whole thing, because that’s Sun’s choice. But it was so obvious how Moon was trying to prove his love for the first multiple minutes and Sun was STILL in denial. Like I get it- okay, yeah, he bullies you and hits you a lot, ok. I HAVE PERSONALLY NEVER BEEN IN LOVE SO. I can understand Sun’s perspective. And I don’t know what to think about Freddy’s advice… I don’t think Moon should continue to express his love by… well, hurting Sun.

Im glad that Moon confessed. But after all Sun had been through with him, he was just totally in denial, basically just trying to come up with excuses to prove to himself, and/or Moon, that he WASN’T truly in love, although he insisted. I can’t blame Sun, but I felt like Moon should’ve at least been believed the first/second time he confessed. He shouldn’t have to prove he’s in love with Sun if he really is. But I get Sun’s denial- I mean, Moon isn’t really the nicest to him, and him actually going and confessing after all that’s happened would definitely seem a bit suspicious.

Sun wanting to stay friends with Moon is valid. I’m guessing he’s mostly just wanting nothing more chaotic than what’s already happening- being that confession (or at least, he’s a bit stunned). But Sun believed what Freddy said- he really was in love, and had been for a while. Sun probably felt a little uncomfortable by the whole experience, seeing how the love is one-sided. “There’s nothing wrong with that, we’re still friends”; from what I can put together, he’s fine and has finally accepted the fact that Moon really is in love. I don’t think he wants to take their relationship any further than it is though. He doesn’t necessarily or intentionally try to make Moon sad, even if his INITIAL words are totally rude. I don’t think Sun understands Moon’s attempts at showing affection/love in the episode.

Sun totally has a fair reason for not liking Moon back, but I feel like he could have handled the situation (and his wording) in a better way than he did. I feel bad for Moon since he’s new to romance, I’m sure they both are. I hope Moon is nicer from now on though- I never expected to see this side of him that we saw in this episode.

[beevean]

I understand the miscommunication now. However, there is a difference between saying "I never played the 2000s games that gave closure to ShTH, and I like how SXSG handled things" and

I think what I appreciate most about Shadow Generations is just that it gives Shadow ACTUAL, CANON closure for his struggle between good and evil.

If you missed out on the games, fair enough, it happens. Personally, I played Heroes and ShTH some years before Adventure 2, and it shaped my perception of Shadow. But if you put it in an objective way, as in, "Shadow never got proper closure before", then I would say "no, he did, multiple times, here's proof - you may not like the writing, but it still happened".

I didn't even talk about '06 itself because I am not going to think about its place in the canon timeline lol. But in a meta sense, it counts for my point: we players experienced Shadow's story and how it precisely exists to show us "look, he has moved on, he can no longer be swayed or manipulated, he knows who he is and what he's fighting for". Sure, the events with Mephiles didn't happen or he forgot, but that game still counted as closure to us after playing ShTH.

I really like that Shadow Gens doesn't emphasize his promise to Maria - he's not doing this out of obligation, but because he chooses to.

It's true that Shadow doesn't talk about his old promise, it's good and shows that he has grown. To be fair, though, another reason for this could be that the story is much more focused on Shadow's biology and ties to Black Doom than his relationship with the world (plus, it wouldn't make sense for him to tell Maria he had promised her to make people happy when she hasn't died yet lol). And, this is an issue I have with the part where Shadow briefly contemplates to stop Rouge and use Chaos Control to freeze Maria and Gerald in White Space: the fact that he has to be told to let them go is still, conceptually, Shadow needing Maria as moral guidance.

As for the mandate bit, I'm aware Boom isn't canon and Forces shows Shadow cares about his team (shout out to their banter in Team Sonic Racing for backing it up as well); I was more referring to the general 2010's vibe. Once you get past 2010, Shadow appears in Generations, where he just wants to "finish" Sonic… And then nothing until Forces, with everything extracurricular from Boom and IDW (while not being strictly canon) pointing to Sega and the writers… not treating his character well.

I disagree. I don't think it makes sense to talk about "general vibe", when the list of Shadow's appearances in the 2010s is so small they can be dissected one by one. Once you remove Boom, which again doesn't count at all as Boom Shadow is a different character from main Shadow (or you might as well argue that the 2010s as a whole turned Knuckles into an illiterate Kronk-like idiot or Eggman into a softie who is frenemies with Sonic), his portrayals in the games are generally decent, with perhaps the one exception of Free Riders where everyone was a dick for no reason lol. Speaking of Gens, sure Shadow challenges Sonic out of nowhere, but then he cheers for him to defeat the Eggmen and then even sticks around for his birthday, so he's not just "the Vegeta" as he has been described since then.

We can argue that Shadow was used very sparingly in the 2010s, which is true. The 2010s were a response to the backlash of the 2000s, and one of the complaints was precisely that Shadow stole the spotlight, along with all the "shitty friends", so they all took several seats back. The reason I insisted that Boom and IDW don't count is that they aren't canon, they shouldn't be used as proof to talk about the character, and they aren't proof of how SEGA sees the character - although they certainly didn't have an iron grip on the external writers except for some basic guidelines, and maybe they should have. I think we are still feeling the consequences of the series stumbling 10 years ago (that 2013-2017 gap was painful), and the fandom growing sour because of it.

I don't think SXSG is a bad game. I have a couple of complaints with Shadow's writing, but they mostly stem with how the story uses him, other than that I can see they tried to make him sound like he did in '06 and he works. My issue is wider: I would like these characters to move on and stop clinging onto games that are by now older than the average fan. We had Frontiers which mostly retreaded character arcs that we have seen in Sonic Adventure, way back in 1998; and now we got SXSG, which was a long, long way to tell us "hey remember ShTH? Now Shadow is tired of BD's shit. Here's a reminder of that game's twist regarding Shadow's biology, but he doesn't care. Also he still misses Maria." So I'm here like... the older games are there. Shadow's multi-game arc is there. Couldn't you have just re-released them? Couldn't you have announced a sale for SA2 on Steam? Or ported Heroes and ShTH, which would have been appreciated by a good chunk of the fandom? SXSG may be fun to play and a testament of ST learning lessons on level design and gameplay style, but the game itself was not the point of the experience, right? It's for newcomers attracted by the incoming movie to get an idea of who Shadow is. I understand and respect that I am not the target audience here. But that doesn't mean the older games are suddenly invalid or should be forgotten.

i guess tl;dr please port shth and battle and then let's write new scenarios for the cast

(Spoilers for Shadow Generations)

I think what I appreciate most about Shadow Generations is just that it gives Shadow ACTUAL, CANON closure for his struggle between good and evil.

By the end of Adventure 2, he remembered his promise to Maria and made his choice to save the world, but then he "dies".

When Heroes revives him, he doesn't remember any of that.

His namesake game (and I say this as gently as possible), as cool as the multiple endings were, feels so unsatisfying. We get to see Shadow's potential for good and evil, sure, but then the true canon ending comes, and it doesn't specify what he did (or even what exactly he remembered about his past) to get there, and then he just decides not to let his past control him. Which isn't a terrible direction on paper, but the symbolism of him literally throwing away a picture of his family just seems... Like the opposite of what made this character appealing in the first place?

And from there, the games kept giving mixed signals. Sonic '06 shows how deeply he and Team Dark come to care for each other, but then its events get literally removed from the timeline. Sega begins to pretend that Team Dark aren't even friends in their mandates for a while (despite the fact they clearly care for each others' wellbeing before anybody else's). Shadow becomes practically a popsicle stick puppet for "angry, serious, violent rival", and they never feel a need to explain his motivations or reactions beyond waving at that four word character description again.

Shadow's appeal (at least to me) was never that he was a character who didn't care about anything - it was that he cared very deeply, actually. (Someone who nearly lets the world be destroyed as revenge for losing his family is the exact opposite of someone who doesn't care!) He may not be cheerful, he may be quiet and stern, he may have a temper and be capable of terrible things if he isn't careful, but he isn't heartless.

And Shadow Generations FINALLY got it right, I feel.

There's now no doubt that he remembers his past, and that it did matter to him. It still does, in fact, and we're dropping the idea that he'll move on from it like it never happened. That's not how tragedy works.

But he will be able to move forward.

He has finally, WITHOUT GETTING AMNESIA, IN THE CANON TIMELINE, gotten to become the hero Maria wanted him to be.

That doesn't mean his story's over: I'm sure they can still find adventures to send him on. And that doesn't mean he needs any kind of complete personality overhaul, either. He can still be more aggressive than Team Sonic, and more stern, and maybe even more willing to resort to questionable methods to fight next week's bad guy.

But all of Team Dark has gotten to acknowledge that they do, in fact, care for each other, even if their attitudes aren't as chummy as Team Sonic.

Shadow has gotten to hear from his family that they are proud of him, weird alien DNA and all, and that even though he will have to go the rest of his long life without them, their love will always go with him, and give him the strength he needs to overcome any of his darker parts.

Shadow having a darker edge than Sonic and Shadow being a hero are things that can and SHOULD coexist, and I'm so glad we finally got to see it for him without it getting wiped from canon or his own memories again.

[acourtofthought]

After reading the series for the second time, I've come to really dislike the narrative that Feyre is a better friend to Lucien than he is to her. When that's just not the case.

He's helped her or tried to help her on multiple occasions, throughout the books. UTM, him trying to get Tamlin to let her train and be a part of things(which I honestly feels like it gets so overlooked because he was fighting with Tam using his words, instead of physically). Even when they left the Spring Court.

Meanwhile, Feyre used him in her plot to get back at Tamlin and with Ianthe. With no care at what would happen to him afterwards. The way she acts with him when it came to Elain(i mean I get it she wants to protect her sister. But Lucien has never once gave any reason to believe he would harm her or anyone else). And then in acofas, after the war was over and everyone was recovering and dealing with trauma, including Lucien, she makes fun of the one good he has in his life at the moment, the band of exiles.

I'm sorry but Lucien is a way better to Feyre than she is to him.

Ps. Sorry for my random rant/ask lol

I also do not agree with the narrative that Feyre was a better friend to Lucien than he was to her. I see so many people say, "but Lucien even admitted it!!" Lucien is a martyr. He literally feels responsible for Jesminda's death and doesn't blame the lesser fae in the Autumn Court for blaming him for Jesminda's death. We as the reader know there was nothing he could have done to stop Jesminda's death and he should not be carrying that guilt around though he does it anyway. Likewise, just because Lucien said what he did to Feyre it doesn't mean she was actually a better friend. If you really think over the series, when was Feyre ever a truly good friend to Lucien? She didn't bother going back to the room to check on him when she knew Tamlin used a pulse of power against him. She never bothered to ask him how HE was after what happened UTM. Feyre only focused on her trauma and while I can completely understand that, it's very one-sided for her to believe Lucien should have been responsible for helping her after UTM (more-so than he did) while she didn't bother helping him after UTM. They both experienced horrible things and I'd go as far to say that Lucien experienced horrible things for much longer than Feyre had. For all the times someone debates whether Lucien could have done more for Feyre, at the end of the day he never sought out to use Feyre. But at the end of the day Feyre did set out to use Lucien even knowing how abusive / dangerous Tamlin could be, even knowing that Ianthe had SA Lucien previously. At the end of the day Feyre and Rhys used Elain, his own mate, as a pawn to manipulate Lucien. I do think that as of SF they've begun rebuilding their friendship but I will never be convinced that throughout the series Feyre was a better friend to Lucien than he was to her.

[localplaguenurse]

Falling Head over Heels (Pantalone x Male Reader) pt 8

WE ARE FUCKING BACK! (I immediately started hacking my lungs after typing this, I'm sick :P)

To make a long story short, for the past few months I've either been really busy, really depressed, and usually both. Also for some reason chapter 8 was already hard to write and I don't know why.

ALSO before we get into the fic, @your-local-furby drew some absolutely lovely fanart of MC apologizing and seeing the library from the previous two chapters. I think it finally kicked my brain back into gear lmao.

Without further ado, please enjoy!

@thedeimoshimself @eli-chris

It feels like the ground beneath me is sucking me in.

I feel myself sinking,

I wish the ground would swallow me whole.

Embarrassment washes over me and swallows me whole. I feel the air leave my chest I want to break free but I feel like I’m drowning. 

You take the page you’re scribbling your notes on and crumple it into a ball. You’ve reread your rough draft and decided the arranged wedding scene you had planned wasn’t tragic enough. The blind musician is tasked with performing for the prince’s wedding, but his heartbreak causes him to mess up his performance, which causes everyone to notice he’s crying, including the prince. You’re trying to convey the feeling of knowing every single person in the room is watching you during the lowest point in your life, but it’s just not coming together in a way you like. You’ll run it by Alik later.

Technically, Alik is no longer your editor as a result of your deal with the Yae Publishing House. Still, they’re one of your few friends, and their workload has lightened since your previous publisher terminated all of those other book deals. Now they’re acting as your beta reader before you send off the next draft to the editor at the Yae Publishing House. It’s actually making progress go a lot faster, so much so you might only need one final draft of the whole story before it’s finally published, as opposed to multiple drafts. 

I do not need sight to know everyone in the room is looking at me. I feel it in my broken notes that trail into nothingness. I feel it in the resulting silence. I feel it in the quiet murmur spreading through the room.

I feel tears in my eyes as I drop my head down, praying no one sees me crying. If I could, I would sprint out of the room, out of the palace, so no one is witness to my heartbroken embarrassment. I’d run so fast, the prince would have no time to chase after me. It would be for the best anyways. He deserves his perfect and beautiful bride, and I am no bride, I cannot verify if I am beautiful, and in this moment, I could not feel anymore flawed as a person and human. 

A knock on your door breaks your concentration. You’re dreading whatever is on the other side, but know it’s better to get this over with. 

“Yes?”

The door opens, and your mother pokes her head in through the gap. She offers a smile. “We have company. Come say hi, please.”

“I’m… kind of in the middle of something,” you reply, “and I’ve told you that I’m going to see Alik when I’m done writing.”

“How is she, by the way?”

“They’re fine.”

“And Maria? How’s she?”

“She’s alright, I think. I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Well, tell them both I say hello. Anyways, if you have a minute, I would like you to come downstairs. There’s someone I’d like you to talk to.”

It takes you a moment to recognize what this is, mostly because it’s been a while since she tried pulling this off. When you realize what’s happening, you just shake your head and look at your mother. “Which family friend is this?”

She gives you a very unconvincing look of confusion. “My dear, what do you mean?”

“Mother, please.”

“... Ana. Anastasia.”

Anastasia is your younger sister Adéla’s friend. Much like your sister, she’s only a year younger than you, but unlike your sister, she actually likes you. Adéla and you have butted heads throughout your lives, as siblings tend to do and especially with such a small age gap, but Adéla has taken it a step further saying that it’s your fault her childhood was so “miserable” as she puts it. She claims that your diagnosis made you the centre of your parents’ attention until your youngest sister was born, and then they focused more on her than Adéla. Conveniently, she’s never had any sisterly drama with her, only you. You feel for her, but there was only so much you could do at the time, seeing as you were eight years old.

“Absolutely not,” you tell your mother.

“But you two got along so well when she would visit,” your mother insists, “and she’s become a fine young lady since the two of you last spoke! Don’t you remember reading together when you two were little?”

“I’m sure she’s beautiful,” you say, “but Adéla will throw a fit if she finds out you set me up with one of her friends.”

“You don’t know that.”

“And I don’t want to find out,” you tell her, “and I told you I don’t like being set up on dates.”

Your mother lets out an exasperated sigh. “I’m just worried about you, okay? I want to make sure my son is happy, healthy, and I want him to find someone he can settle down with. Your brother was already married at your age, and Adéla’s going to be having another baby soon.”

“Yes, but I’m not Pavel or Adéla,” you say, “the dating scene is different for me, and playing matchmaker isn’t going to make me feel any better or help me.”

Your mother just looks at you. That sad, pitiful look you know all too well. It stopped pulling on your heartstrings long ago, but sometimes it’s just easier to indulge her than it is to fight her on it. Besides, she means well, you think, it just can’t be helped that she doesn’t know her son has no interest in women.

You sigh, and stand up, much to your mother’s delight. “I’ll say hi, and that’s it.”

She grins, and she motions for you to follow her.

----

“... and she just happens to be single, too.”

Alik sets their glass down. “Interesting. So when’s the wedding?”

“It’s not happening,” you reply, “thank the Tsaritsa for that.”

“I’m honestly surprised your parents haven’t put you in an arranged marriage yet,” Alik comments.

“How many viable marriage candidates do you think there are that would be thrilled to marry someone who’s not only going blind, but could pass it on to their children as well?”

“Depends on how much the family is getting paid.”

“And it would not be much.”

The tavern is surprisingly quiet tonight. You chalk it up to it being the middle of the work week, not as many patrons willing to get drunk if they have work early in the morning. Currently, you and Alik are sitting at a table in the corner of the room while a few older patrons mill about, chattering on about their own lives at the bar. It’s actually rather nice, you think.

“What would they try to sell your bride to be on?” Alik asks.

“Um…” You look into your half drunk glass, trying to think of something funny. You clear your throat, straighten your posture, and put on your best business smile. “Here’s a fine young man who has no real work skills, and it’s not like they would do him any good since he’s considered legally blind and has between thirteen and fifteen years before he is fully blind. His only profitable skill is writing, though he doesn’t make enough to support a household. His blindness is also genetic!”

“By the Archons, at least say one nice thing about yourself,” Alik teases, though there’s a subtle sincerity to their words.

“I think I’m decent,” you say, “I think I might even make an okay husband, but I don’t think I’d be the kind of husband Pavel or my father are.”

“That’s not a bad thing,” Alik replies, “there are plenty of families and couples where the husband isn’t always a provider. Besides, you’re not really a ladies man to begin with.”

You shake your head. “It’s not even that, it’s just… you know I try not to make a big deal of me going blind, but it’d be naïve of me to pretend that it’s not, and especially if I was in a relationship. Whether I like it or not, whoever I marry is going to inevitably become my caretaker. There will come a day where I’m going to need help, and I’ll rarely be able to return that favour.”

“That’s why it’s in sickness and in health,” Alik comments. They reach across the table and take your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “For what it’s worth, I think you’d make a good house husband, before and after you start seeing the world how Maria does.”

Maria is Alik’s cousin, and one of your few very close friends. She has been a big help to you in writing your book as her blindness is similar to the main character’s. While he was born blind, she actually had vision when she was born. Unfortunately, she suffered a very severe head injury when she was very young. She has little to no memory of her life before she lost her sight as a result, as well as having some developmental problems growing up. These days she’s doing much better, though her eyesight is still gone. At most, she can detect if there’s light, but that’s the extent of it. 

“Do you have permission to make jokes about her being blind?” you ask.

“I not only have permission, but that’s not even the worst joke I’ve gotten away with.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“For the best.”

Your table goes quiet as you and Alik take a moment to drink. You try not to cringe at the taste of whatever the hell Alik recommended you try. It’s a beer, and you can taste that, but it’s a lot more bitter than you like. Still, they bought it for you, it would be rude to spit it out.

“You don’t have to drink that, you know.”

“It’s an acquired taste, I’ll get used to it.”

You see a smile twitch onto Alik’s lips, and even if they try to hide it, you can see a shit eating grin from miles away. 

“Okay,” you say, “out with it.”

“What do you mean?”

“You thought of something terrible, I want to hear it.”

Alik glances around the room, assessing how audible their comment would be. You take a sip of your drink, and they grin.

They lean in. “I’m sure Pantalone would be happy to hear that.”

You immediately sputter, spraying Alik in the face. They yell, swiping at their face as if they were sprayed with acid. You cough as what was left in your mouth goes down the wrong pipe. “Fuck, w-why’d I take a drink–”

“Did you have to spit that in my face?” Alik asks.

“Shut up,” you wheeze out. You give one more hearty cough, your throat and chest burning, and you can breathe again. You sit up, rubbing your chest through your shirt while Alik wipes their face and the table with napkins. You look around, and see the few patrons staring at your table. You painfully chuckle, and turn back to your friend. “S-Sorry, I should know better by now.”

Alik shrugs. “I’m not wrong, am I?”

“I told you that in confidence,” you whisper.

“You actually told me before the tea party,” Alik tells you. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s starting to show in your book.”

You feel your face flush, and you narrow your eyes. “I think I would know if I was writing about him, thank you.”

“The prince was a lot more arrogant in your first drafts,” Alik explains, “but in more recent iterations, it’s been toned down a lot. He’s also a lot more understanding of the musician’s blindness.”

You’re confused. “Well, yes. My first drafts are years old, so I’ve had to make some adjustments to better fit my writing style now. Besides, I’ve read too many stories about asshole love interests that don’t really learn anything, they just get tragic backstories that authors think justify their shitty behaviour. I’m not adding my characters to that pile.”

“No, I agree on that,” Alik says, “but even then, he was still a solid character, arrogance aside. He was just a spoiled prince who had to actually think about other people for the first time in his life. Like he’s never had to deal with someone with a disability, and doesn’t know how else to feel other than annoyed. In the more recent drafts, he still doesn’t know how to deal with it, but he’s a lot more willing to make up for the disrespect, where the old version did it, but complained the whole time. It just so happens that this change happened right when you met him for the first time.”

“That’s… hm.” You take a sip and don’t spit it in Alik’s face. “You’re on the right track, but I don’t think I was writing all of that because of a crush.” You feel your face flush warmer again. “He was a bit of an ass at the party, but since then he’s become one of…” You take a moment to count names on your finger. “... six or seven people that aren’t patronizing about me going blind. I’d just been putting up with most of my family either coddling me or being inconvenienced by me, but he’s a rare instance of someone making accommodations, but not making a big show of it. That’s why the book was like that until I met Pantalone.”

You stare into your glass. “And… a-and it’s why I enjoy his company so much…”

Alik doesn’t say anything. You look up, and you see their expression has softened a little bit. They lift their drink up to you, and you smile and lift yours up.

“Cheers.”

You both take a swig, and somehow the disgusting drink tastes sweeter going down. Your face feels warm, and you wonder why you’re still blushing when you see you’re already halfway through your drink. Alik has a similar glow in their cheeks. 

“That’s really sweet and cute,” Alik says, “but I do have to ask you something.”

You feel whatever warm feelings you’re feeling lessen when Alik’s softened expression gains a hint of concern. Their smile looks awkward by comparison, before they sigh and lose it altogether. You’re already dreading what they’re about to say.

They hesitate for a moment, and when they speak, it’s in a whisper. “Do you like him, or do you like what he’s done for you?”

“W-What?”

“I wouldn’t ask that if we were talking about anyone else,” Alik clarifies, “but I have to ask when it’s him. I don’t want to rain on your parade, I’m happy you like someone, but… he’s a harbinger. One of the more likeable ones, but not without flaws.”

“I know…”

Alik sighs. “Look, if it were some other handsome rich man, I’d say go for it. The fact it’s a harbinger specifically makes me a little worried, I won’t lie.”

You sound like my mother. “It’s a crush, not an engagement,” you tell them. “We enjoy each other’s company while he works with my father and sister. I just enjoy it differently than he does.”

“Still, even as friends, I’d be cautious. If not for what he’d have planned, then for what others might have in store for him.”

You take a swig. “You want to know what’s funny? You’re the first person to bring up his enemies as a point for why I shouldn’t get near him.”

“I am not.”

“No, seriously. My mother doesn’t want me near him because he’ll probably, I don’t know, kill me or sell me or steal my ideas, depends on the day. My father thinks I’ll ruin everything those two have built together, which I still don’t know why Pantalone is working with him.”

“Maybe your dad’s indebted to him or something.”

“...”

Alik notices your silence. They say your name in a soft voice, seeming worried by your expression. Your father’s not in debt, is he? The business isn’t as prosperous as it was when you were little, but job markets change all the time, and the economy is ever fluctuating. It’s purely the result of what happens when a business runs for as long as it does. Sometimes an empire doesn’t crumble, but rather dies slowly.

“Hey, are you okay?”

You snap out of it. “I’m, uh, I’m fine.” You push your seat back and stand. “I’m just, um, I’m going to go to the washroom for a second.”

“... Okay? Just watch yourself.”

“I’ll be fine,” you call out over your shoulder before immediately bumping into someone. Unlike with Pantalone, you actually manage to catch yourself before you fall. You know that Alik is holding their head in their hands, possibly stifling laughter too for a little extra salt in the wound.

“Archons, sorry,” you immediately blurt out, “I didn’t see you there.”

The ginger haired man laughs. “Oh, no worries comrade! Just be more careful next time!”

You stare at the man, eyes widening. His smile grows, almost reaching the dull blue of his eyes.

“Why the surprised face?” he asks jovially.

You sigh and shake your head. “I have got to stop meeting harbingers like this.”

[coldswarkids]

oh there are so many stories I could tell. but one that always sticks in my mind. there was this one lady who was ALWAYS emailing me, upset because I sent her son home with 10 math problems to do. ooooh hes too delicate and he has sports to do and friends and how dare I impinge on her angel baby’s time. she complained about me to admin multiple times

lady they had 40 whole ass minutes to do those 10 problems in my classroom with my supervision FUCK YOUUU your son spent his entire time jacking around with his friends and causing havoc and taking valuable time away from students who actually needed my help but he was busy making me try to corral him FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

then one day she emails me all upset bc her son and his friends are sending porn back and forth on their group chat. they happened to sneak some texts back and forth during passing period, but most of it is happening OFF SCHOOL HOURS. In their group chat. she says it’s my fault and that I should be managing their behaviors and that I should be monitoring them since they’re not supposed to have their phones in class. so now she’s demanding I come up with a solution on how to prevent the boys from sending inappropriate things on THEIR PHONES.

I was like ma’am your son is 15 and I am 21 and YOU ARE LIKE 40 and his MOTHER just take his fucking phone away? this is NOT a me problem. discipline your ape. what do you want me to do about thisssss ANICJDJDJSJDJDH FUCK YOUUUU

[bgomtori]

☆ autumn - c.sb

synopsis -> the transition of summer to make him fall.

-> soobin x reader

-> childhood friends to lovers, fake dating, mutual pinning, sunshine and sunshine protector relationship, slowburn.

-> warnings! yn's slightly dense, super long

-> notes! heavily inspired by the webtoon our secret alliance, please read it 😢 it's so cute and jaeha reminds me of soobin a lot.

"an alliance?" soobin peeked over his phone, looking at you like you grew two heads. you nodded your head, falling onto the bed, right below soobin's feet.

"think about it, if we lie to our parents that we are dating, they wouldn't suspect a thing when we go out! they'll think that we'll be going on a date or something, but we're actually sneaking out to do our own things." you explained as if you were a genius solving a difficult maths question. soobin placed his phone down to look at you, his head hovering over yours.

"this better work, if not i'm telling your parents about the vase you broke the other day." you gasped at his audacity to even bring that up, you stuck out your pinky finger, "i promise that this is a good idea." soobin eyed you suspiciously before locking his pinky with yours.

"i trust you." you beamed at his words, for the first time in a while soobin finally agreed to one of your plans, and did not call you stupid for it.

from then on, the both of you have been heading out for your so called "study dates" to prove to your parents that even though you're "dating", your studies are still your top priority. however, as soon as you step out of your house, ensuring that the door is sealed shut, you and soobin part ways almost instantly, sending him a reminder on the agreed timing to meet up and head home for dinner.

it also helped that practically everyone, even the teachers, thought that both of you were dating, the way soobin would walk to class with you or the way you would cheerfully run up to him, telling him everything that has happened to you throughout the day.

to you, this alliance was fun, you enjoyed spending time with soobin, now that mid terms were around the corner, the two of you have been studying together more than usual, unlike the past where he would go gaming with his friends and you would go out on dates with people you met online. you loved your time with soobin, more than you expected.

on the other hand, soobin didn't like the mushy feeling he'd always feel when you come around, he hated the way his heart would race when you wrap your arm around his.

"i think i'm sick." soobin mumbled, his face slightly flushed, his heart banging against his ribcage as he recalled the way you waved your mock test at him with a bright smile, telling him that you've finally passed the subject you've been constantly failing, later rambling about how this year is going to be your year.

"more like lovesick.." beomgyu gagged, rolling his eyes, "why did you even agree to the alliance." he added, taking a sip from his milk carton. soobin shrugged, turning his head to the side, watching you smiling with your friends as you take bites from your lunch.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

a few weeks has passed, soobin had finally realised his growing feelings for you, after multiple scoldings from beomgyu, he finally got it through his thick skull that he does indeed like you.

"i'm home! come on, let's go to my room, i really need help with my math homework." you took soobin's wrist, about to pull him into your room until your mum stopped you two.

"welcome back, wait here for a while, i have some treats for you." your mum smiled, scurrying off to the kitchen to grab some pasteries she bought from the newly opened bakery from down the street. soobin shyly thanked your mum, taking a bite out of the brownie placed infront of him, while you basically devour the cookies.

"you know.. recently my friend's daughter lied about her report card, saying that she was scared that she wouldn't see her as a golden child anymore," your mum sighed, looking down at her hands, you looked at her, taking another bite of your cookie, "you two aren't hiding any secrets from me, are you?"

you swallowed the cookie, the feeling of guilt crashes onto you, taking frantic glances at soobin who looked calm and collected, unlike you who was panicking. "no." you uttered out softly, taking a sip of cola. your mum smiled at you, leaving you and soobin alone for now.

"we're screwed aren't we?" soobin snickered, biting on the soft, chewy brownie on the plate.

"we are, i feel extremely bad. should we stop?" you asked him, using your straw to stir the contents of your drink aimlessly.

"if you want to, i'm fine with it." he replied non-chalantly. your hand came to a halt, staring at the twirling ice cubes in your drink.

"or should we start dating for real?" soobin was now stunned, turning to face you, eyes widened, his ears coloured in a red hue.

"what'd you say?"

"i mean it's better this way isn't it? we don't have to lie to our parents anymore!" you exclaimed, completely unaware of the fidgety boy beside you, biting the inside of his cheek.

"that's the reason?" his tone sounded angry and serious, something you weren't used to, you looked at soobin who had his head down, "huh wait, i didn't mean to make you angry soob.."

"please don't make jokes like that." soobin stood up, swinging his bag over one of his shoulders, about to make a move, your first instinct was to grab his wrist, preventing him from leaving you alone.

"wait thats not what i was trying to do, i thought it wouldnt be that much of a differece with us being friends." you explained yourself, speak of the devil your mum decided to walk in, your eyes flickered from your mum to soobin, he mumbled something inaudible for you to hear, "what did you say?"

soobin let out a sigh, bending down to your ear, "i said i'll think about it over the weekend, you should do the same.. about us dating." he whispered, you could feel his lips brushing against your skin, you face slowly heating up at the realisation of how close you were. your eyes followed his every action, from thanking your mum, to leaving the house through the main door. you brain was about to malfunction, causing you to bang your head against the table, clearly flustered from everything that has just occurred.

"jeez what's your problem." your mum jumped at the sudden thud, pushing you a plate of home-cooked food for you to enjoy.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

a few days has passed, despite talking to soobin like you always do, you can't help but feel like there's an invisible barrier between the both of you. he seemed out of it, replying you with single word replies, or even just humming a response. you were used to it, but you can't help but think that he was uncomfortable around your presence.

you sat at your desk, resting your head on the table, surrounded by two of your close friends, tuning out their voices while they ramble about something that didn't concern you.

"honestly, if it seems natural for you to hold hands with a guy friend, or even imagining yourself kissing him, you definitely have slight feelings for him." that statement piqued your interest, lifting your head, only to make eye contact with choi soobin, sending your mind into a spiral. you do interlock arms with him, but does that even count as holding hands? your eyes dart down to his lips, your face warmed up at the thought of his lips touching yours, making your groan in frustration.

"what's up with you." your friend questioned, concerned for your sudden outburst. you shook your head, looking back down at your phone.

soob : meet me after school, in the storage room.

yn : what for?

soob : just come find me.

you couldn't ignore the warmth pooling in your chest when you read that message, for the first time in your life, you were afraid to meet soobin.

the school day went by too fast for your liking, you packed up your things, you made your way to the storage room, only to be stopped by a friend of yours from another class.

"yn! are you going home right now? let's go to the convenience store nearby, i missed you." she exclaimed, hope shimmering in her eyes as she waited for your response. you smiled at her apologetically, about to tell her that you weren't available,

"she's not free right now julie, let's go." a familiar voice replied in your stead, his warm hands wrapped around your wrist, dragging you towards the place you were supposed to meet in. julie looked back at the both of you in confusion, "they're weird." she whispered to herself.

soobin closed the door behind him, locking it in the process. you felt uncomfortable, the atmosphere created was awkward and tense, soobin looked down at you, waiting for you to at least say something.

"uhm, did you think about it? about us dating." you asked, your eyes glued to the ground below you.

"yea." you stared at him with wide eyes, you didn't expect him to actually agree with you that fast.

"you didn't think about it right?" you pursed your lips, unable to make eye contact with the much taller male standing infront of you, soobin sighed, "i can't go out with you."

your heart dropped upon hearing those words, "wait no, i just need more time to think about it." you were rambling, your grip around his arm loosening, realising that you couldn't stop anything.

"sorry yn." he apologised, leaving you in the empty storage room, alone with your thoughts. you groaned in frustration, swinging the door open, accidentally scaring people that were walking past, you just wanted to go home, lay in your bed, and drown yourself in homework, distract yourself from dwelling over soobin. you stood at the entrance, realising that it had started to rain, you rummaged through your bag, in search for an umbrella.

"did i forget.." you whispered to yourself, placing your bag onto the ground to thoroughly check your bag, slowly you gave up, zipping up your bag. you leaned against a pillar, watching the rain hit the ground below. you stared up into the dark, gloomy sky, remembering what had just went down earlier. honestly, you weren't serious when you asked soobin that question, you didn't expect him to say yes right away too. however, you were upset that he rejected you so firmly. you knew that soobin was never that firm with you, the soobin you knew was kinder than that. so maybe, he's under the pouring rain right now and worrying about you, maybe he'll come pick you up, because he has always helped you in situations like these.

"yn!" a voice you knew all too well called out to you, you looked up to see a panting soobin, an umbrella over his head, sheltering himself from the heavy rain.

"how many times must i tell you to pack an umbrella." he reprimanded you, eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at you, a concerned look spread across his face.

"you really came." you smiled to yourself, "it's cause it's raining." soobin replied, pulling you to walk in the rain with me.

"you should call your mum, your place is far from here, and it's raining really hard." he suggested, you nodded your head, grabbing your phone from your pocket, dialling your mum's phone number. soobin remained quiet then entire walk back to his place, his arm wrapped around your shoulder, preventing you from getting wet, matching the pace your walked at. maybe he does treat you differently.

"i'm a soobin's place right now, i'll wait for the rain to slow down before i go back home." you informed your mum.

"that's fine! just tell me when you reach home." your mum answered, "yea what did you say?" your mum's voice added, oh your mum forgot to hang up.

"aren't you worried that she's alone with a guy now?" her colleague asked, sounding worried for your safety. you continued to listen in on their conversation, curious on what your mum has to say about your relationship with soobin.

"those two aren't like that! i just tease them sometimes, but i know better than anyone that they're matured kids and wouldn't fool around." your mum defended you, your eyes flickered to soobin who was unlocking the door to his house, right, it was just the two of you in the house now. you quickly ended the call, removing your shoes.

"you can go into my room, i'll get you something to snack on." you muttered a soft okay, taking swift steps into his room, you sat on the cold wooden floor, grabbing your folder from your bag, starting on your revision for an upcoming quiz.

"soobin, i need help with this." you tapped your pen against the question you were stuck on, he closed the door, setting the plate of jellies down on the table, sitting next to you, reading the question. it was quiet, too quiet, you could hear your own breathing, it felt weird, your mind went back to the conversation your mum had with her colleague.

"soobin, wanna know what my mum said earlier?" you flashed a mischievious grin at him, soobin placed his pencil down, "what did she say?"

"she said even if you and i are alone, nothing will happen!" you laughed, "she thinks we're dating. i wonder how could she say that.. that's how much of a gentleman my mum thinks you are! haha. by the way can i borrow some of your clothes?" you joked further. soobin looked at you unamused, agreeing to your last question, going into his closet to grab some of his clothes.

"what's with that face? i only said that for the laughs. what she said wasn't wrong." you pouted, taking his clothes from him, "you said that you had no intention of dating me anyways."

"you didn't even think about dating me." soobin responded, poking your cheek with his finger.

"i'm done with the question, you should try analysing the question first before jumping into it." you hated this, he still helps you with school, and is always so concerned about you, yet why did he reject you? soobin patted your shoulder, asking you to complete the paper.

"why.. don't you wanna go out with me?" your sudden question left soobin stunned.

"that's random.."

"you're fine with everything but you're not fine with that?.." you suddenly remembered the statement your friend had said earlier in the day, "it's not as if i asked if you could kiss me."

"what?" soobin's cheeks flushed, his thoughts going wild, "see you're playing a prank on me again." you grabbed onto his arm, feeling his stiffen under your grip.

"why aren't you answering me?" you were desperate for an answer, you needed an answer, to understand why he does all he does for you, but still decide to close your out and reject you.

"don't tell me you could see yourself kissing me." you looked at soobin in his eyes, he frowned, a nervous bead of sweat trickling down his face, you were too close to him, he felt like he was going to explode.

"why are you doing this to me?"

"you can't?"

"that's enough now." he turned away, only to feel your lips against his cheek.

"i guess, i can haha.." you joked, covering your mouth, averting your eyes from him, "i guess i'm ok with kissing you." soobin was at a daze, his eyes looking at your lips now, lips slightly apart, whatever you said earlier was completely ignored by him.

"oh, just now that was..??" he lundged forward, capturing your lips, your eyes widened at the sudden contact, unable to process what was going on. soobin pulled away slowly, his eyes meeting yours, both of you were flustered, red colouring the tip of soobin's ears.

"sorry.." he apologised.

"i.. i should go now." you mumbled, immediately packing your things, scrambling out of his room, you texted your mum, telling her that you were going home, you took one last look at soobin.

he's totally red. you thought to yourself, covering your own lips, you couldn't believe that it happened in a span of an hour. you ran home under the rain, you didn't care if you were drenched or not, you wanted to escape from his place as soon as possible. that night, you tossed and turned in bed, unable to get any rest.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

"are you ok?" chaewon asked, of course you weren't, soobin was infront of you, you couldn't let him see you. you swung your bag infront of you, placing the notebook chaewon passed you in it.

"thanks, you returned it sooner than i expected." you smiled, carrying your bag around your shoulder again.

" i got someone to explain it to me instead, cause i didn't understand most of them." she explained, at this point, you were about to walk beside soobin and his friends.

"woah! really? i guess it's a friend who is really good at maths. come on let's go in." you pushed chaewon, practically making her walk faster.

"you're avoiding him aren't you?" chaewon turned back to look at you. you nodded your head, "i'll tell you in class, just go." you begged, she shrugged her shoulders, excited for the long story you were going to rant about as soon as you were not in the vicinity of choi soobin.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

"here are the worksheets you asked for mrs lee." you went to find her in the staff room after classes

"thank you for bringing it here, here eat these." she smiled, taking two packets of biscuits for you. much to your dismay, you heard the door behind you slide open, "oh soobin! come here i'll give you some biscuits too." mrs lee dug through her desk in search for extra biscuits.

"i ran out, yn, share one of these with soobin." your teacher sighed, your voice was soft, almost inaudible, "yes.." your hand reached out to soobin's placing the pack of biscuits in his hand, your fingers grazing against his.

"aren't you two close? i thought you were but you look so awkward with each other right now!" a teacher from behind exclaimed, her statement made you flinch.

"of course they're close, yn nearly fell off the ladder while cleaning the window, do you know how much soobin lectured mr because of that? ever since then i've never asked students to wipe windows that are up high. i thought soobin had feelings for yn." mrs lee giggled, recalling the incident where you almost lost your footing on the steps, trying to remove the speck of dirt on the window.

"oh my goodness, if you say that the kids are gonna feel more awkward." the teacher joked. you turned to your side, noticing the way soobin's ear was coloured in a soft hue of red. if he's slightly embarrased, then you aren't the only one that's feeling self conscious, right?

"i'm just teasing them because they're such good kids! yn and soobin are so proper and well-behaved. they've never caused any trouble too." proper. well-behaved. your head turned to soobin, making eye contact with him.

"i should go clean up before it's too late." soobin made up an excuse, trying to get himself out of the tense atmosphere, as you were about to follow behind soobin, you teacher asked, "i'm asking this out of curiousity, so.. are you two actually dating?"

"huh? it's nothing like that." your words were blunt, immediately turning on your heel to chase after soobin, knowing exactly where he would go to in situations like these. you knocked against the storage room door.

"you're in there right?" your voice was soft and sweet, soobin felt like he would melt right now, the apples of his cheek turning red, "why are you avoiding me too?"

"you were the one who kissed me." you whispered, loud enough for his to hear, soobin rubbed his lips with the back of his hand, unable to shake off the feeling of your lips against his, the taste of your cherry lip balm on the tip of his tongue.

"you know, i'm fine with it right?" that was when the door flung open, revealing soobin looking distraught.

"don't talk about that here." his tone was sheepish, the grip around your wrist tightened, watching you smile at him.

"haha! you were pretending to be fine, but you're actually flustered." you teased, soobin frowned at you, knowing what you'd say next, "i know i kissed you first, but you were the one who kissed me on the mouth–"

"not here." he whispered, his hand cupped around your mouth, preventing you from saying anything more. you removed his hand, looking at him sincerely.

"no one is here to clean yet, you know we have to talk." you uttered, your eyes never leaving his, hope glimmering in your eyes, wanting to have a conversation with him about last night.

"ok, but first, come here." before you knew it, you were dragged into the storage room with soobin again, his hand holding onto yours so carefully like you were glass, while his free hand was placed on your waist, preventing you from failing over. you regained your balance, eyeing down the now unfazed soobin. wasn't he flustered just seconds ago?

you sat on top of a barrel that was somehow in the storage room, pulling soobin along with you, he bent down slightly to ensure that he was eye to eye with you, his hands pinned beside your thighs. his eyes burned into yours, his body language asking you to tell him something.

"in the past, i liked that i felt comfortable around you." you gulped, "but now i'm becoming weird because of you." you brought a finger up to his forehead, poking it.

"i guess i forgot how i used to treat you because we've been pretending to date each other for a while, or maybe it's because you're so nice to me." oh, he was red again, he was wrapped around your finger, you knew his feelings for you, he was too obvious. your heart fluttered, you could smell the scent of his shampoo, and the scent of rain from the leaves that hasn't dried up yet, making you recall the kiss once more.

"this is your fault." you glared, the palm of your hand flushed against his chest.

"what do you mean?" he questioned, squinting his eyes at you. just say you like me you wanted to hear him say it, you wanted to hear him admit it.

"why'd you kiss me yesterday?" you inched your face closer to his, the strong, yet simple scent of his cologne filled your nostrils, his hot breath fanned against your lips, his black rimmed glasses sitting on the top of his nose making him more attractive than usual.

"i.. don't know." those were the words that came out of soobin's lips, as much as you anticipated it, he wasn't someone who would just admit his feelings, you felt disappointed. you two stared at each other in silence, you bit the inside of your cheek.

"soobin, i think we should stop lying to each other, i'll go on and tell you the truth, i lied about the reason why we should date each other. i know i said that if we dated for real, we wouldn't have to lie to my mum, but i realised that i can't control how i feel about someone." you paused, taking in the look soobin was giving you, you smiled to yourself, "i really don't know when i started to feel this way, but before i knew it, i had feelings for you."

your arms wrapped around soobin's neck, playing with the back of his hair, the tip of his ears turning red by the second, "i like you soobin."

"you like me too right? it's your turn to tell me the truth." again, your teasing grin slowly grew on your lips, soobin scowled at you, leaning closer to your lips, leaving a chaste kiss against them, "yeah, i like you too." your grin grew larger when you finally heard those words come out of his mouth

"when did you start having feelings for me." your hands pressed against his cheeks, soobin dropped into the crook of your neck, "i don't know, a long time now.."

you giggled at his response, patting his head, "that's nice to hear."

now that summer fades into autumn, the relationship between you and soobin blooming like the changing leaves, as he stares at you with overflowing love, he's reminded of the time when he fell for you. during autumn, where the season changes from summer to making him fall deeply for you, and history repeats itself, this time with sweet kisses and warm hugs.

perm taglist! (send an ask to be added :D) @mrsyawnzzn @tinyelfperson @woncheecks @boba-beom @naveries @be-argyu @defnotleee @babymochibeargyu

[morganski-19]

I had some thoughts about Buck and his bisexual journey, and have something to point out that I'm not really seeing that much.

Many people have been saying that it was really out of character that Buck didn't know that he is bisexual, or what the Kinsey scale is, but I happen to slightly disagree.

Yes, Buck is one to doom scroll and research a bunch of different facts that may or may not pertain to his life. However, when it comes to his understanding of himself, his motivations, his purpose, he spends a lot of time floundering.

He spent how many years just traveling the country trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. He continues to define himself strictly by his job and puts himself at a lesser importance than anyone else in his life. When he's in a relationship, he further defines himself by that, and their needs, instead of his own.

Buck doesn't really know who he is under any circumstances. He definitely has a better understanding of who he is now than in the earlier seasons, but goes through life jumping into his work and relationships, without ever really knowing what to do with himself.

So no, I don't think Buck would intensely research everything about gay history, and the Kinsey scale, or what all the labels mean. He knows that he is something because it's attached to something else. He will research everything under the sun for his friends and family, but when it comes to something crucial to his own life, he will leave it undefined.

And I'm not saying it's a bad thing to use your job or relationship to help define who you are. I'm just saying that using those exclusively, to the point where you desperately cling to it so you feel a sense of purpose, can be quite detrimental.

Buck is a clinger. He clings to the job that gives him meaning, even when it affects his own health and well-being. He clings to relationships for various different reasons. He uses them as definitions for who he is.

Not to mention that even when Buck starts to finally figure out who he is, something big happens that throws him off track. He goes to therapy. Learns when to put his foot down on his relationship boundaries and actually ends it himself. Then he gets struck by lightning, dies, and wanders around not knowing how to deal with that.

Then a guy kisses him and his whole worldview flips on its axis. The one thing he was sure about now doesn't make any sense. It would be easier to just go along with it than question it.

And yeah, maybe Buck would do a little research, but it would be so overwhelming. He's had a history of kinda just pushing a complicated thing off until he was forced to deal with it. The break-up with Abby, confronting his parents, and multiple things in his relationship with Taylor.

Now that he's forced to deal with it, and an answer isn't handed to him, he might actually look at himself and start to do that research and figure out what his sexuality means to him.

[fleshengine]

I experienced Mouthwashing last night (a friend streamed it to me because I'm too fucken broke to buy it) and I'm curious to hear your thoughts on it

Anya killing herself with the remaining painkillers doesn't make sense because they were labelled paracetamol which is acetaminophen. Acetaminophen overdose takes days to kill, so unless she was barricaded in medical for a lot longer than it seems in game it wouldn't have killed her that fast. We know it's acetaminophen poisoning as well, because she vomited all over herself. It's the only "plothole" in the story, which is impressive given its multiple POVs and jumping around in time.

I don't understand why Jimmy fed Curly a piece of himself, it feels like cannabalism imagery for the sake of cannabalism imagery. If he's just going to chuck him in a cryopod, and then off himself why bother? Then again, Jimmy's mental state is far from anything I'd even consider calling stable.

Swansea putting Daisuke out of his misery doesn't make sense to me because why not do the same for Curly? This could be handwaved by the dwindling medical supplies or as characterization for Swansea but it struck me as odd.

I can tell what the game is trying to say, and it says it because I've seen other people talk about it at length. Ya know, toxic work culture, guys will back eachother up even if they know the other is doing something terrible, that kinda shit. But some of the surrealist and scary shit just seems thrown in for maximum spookage. I think the game would be better if they cut the scary shit by half and focused more on the actual story they're trying to tell. As it stands, it feels a lot like "hey if there were two guys on the moon and one of them killed the other with a rock would that be fucked up or what?" Obviously I'm being a little reductive, but that's still the vibe aboard the tulpa, I mean Tulpar. Oh yeah, naming your spaceship after tulpas, that was certainly a choice.

Honestly it feels like youtube/gametheory/reaction bait. It starts with big spooks and has surrealist horror sequences so the funny men on youtube can scream and yell. It's out of order so people can make "Mouthwashing in chronological order" videos. It's got a confusing plot so people can make "Mouthwashing EXPLAINED" videos. A lot of the story just isn't told to you and you have to fill it in or find someone to do that for you. You might think "oh well maybe it's 'show, don't tell' done well!" and no, it's not. The game specifically shows you so little, which is nice in a horror game but at the same time, I need SOMETHING to convey the information.

My best example of this is Daisuke in the vent. What happens to him? Dunno, he gets magically fucked up. How does he get the door to medical open while deathly injured? Dunno but he does. I figured we might get a little info when we go into the vent in one of the nightmare vision sequence things, but nope! It's just more random spooks.

Someone could point to me and say "ew stupid gamer needs everything spelled out with yellow paint for her" and honestly they'd be right a little. When it comes to games like this, with complex plots, time jumps, nonchronological storytelling, and abstract nightmare sequences, I would like a little yellow paint occasionally. You can be confusing all you want and I'll enjoy it but when I'm done I want to know what happened.

8/10, I'm glad I watched a playthrough rather than pay for it myself.

[r0semultiverse]

this recently happened to one of my friends

[halorvic]

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[transmechanicus]

Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.

[casscainmainly]

CASS PLATONIC SOULMATE!?? people would say steph and i totally see it but like, stephcass shipper over here soo... yeah! any thoughts xo?

Honestly I'm not sure!! Canon-wise Steph is definitely the platonic soulmate, but only because they refuse to make it romantic. Excluding her (because I'm holding out on a very small hope they will confirm StephCass), I don't actually think Cass has many close friends.

We've seen her friendships with Clayface in Tynion's 'Tec run (which was great, but very much contained in that run), and Big Barda in BoP (not long/entrenched enough yet). Otherwise she has very few close friends outside of the Batfam, which has always been kinda sad but very much in character.

'Cause Clayface/Big Barda (and Steph, Tim, Jean-Paul, Duke, Harper etc.) are either people in a team with her or a Bat-associate. I think she's not great at maintaining relationships when it's not directly in front of her, which makes sense because she was never taught how to do so. Most of her foundational relationships in Batgirl (2000) required the other person (thinking particularly Steph and Babs) to put in a lot of effort, and they very easily fell apart.

The one exception is Brenda, who (besides Steph) was the first person Cass consciously formed a relationship with, and who is very important to her journey of self-discovery. But that didn't last either :(.

So in short I don't really think she has a platonic soulmate, because most of her friends are either Batfam or extremely short-term and limited to one run. Crossing my fingers that Brombal's new run introduces more long-lasting Cass friends!