#this got rant-y fast I’m sorry. but this is a sore subject I guess.

[privaterecording1clips]

I have been away since the MCC, and I haven't been really posting things or keeping up with the group activity. Imagine my fucking reaction when I wake up on a Sunday morning to Discord exploding over night.

I have some conflicting emotions towards CCs talking so openly about fanfics. Part of me is glad that they acknowledge our existence, like I know a few of them are here, and even seen my own posts, like OMG MY STREAMERS KNOW I EXIST. And fanfics, it's huge! It's a step up from liveblogging and headcanon posts, it's a fanart in its spirit, but painted with words, and similarly poured the author's soul into.

But there's like that thing with...prejudice? I've seen people mention fanfiction in Chilled's streams before, and in yt as well, and there were not exactly positive opinions. I know they were talking about there being very few smut works, but it feels like they were bringing them up the most, and it's just frustrating to not be understood in the right way. After all, everything we do here, and everything we write on Ao3 is us expressing our love and support in the ways we can, none of us have any malicious thought or want to be hurtful and spread hatred or smth.

Do you think there's a world where they could speak of Tumblr/Ao3 part of their community from a bit of a different angle? Do you think that fanfiction should be acknowledged and spoken about more?

(Also, I know it's stupid, but I feel just the tiniest bit salty. I wrote good stuff, why won't they talk about me too?!)

Yeah, I have very conflicting emotions about it too. (Mostly I feel betrayed by whoever was linking Platy fics LMAO)

Tumblr and Ao3 get a bad rap for being “cringe” I guess. Personally I think that they are the only places left on the internet that are well-known and not too corrupted by capitalism and algorithms (especially Ao3 my beloved). But I really don’t give a shit - I hate cringe culture with a passion.

But yeah. It’s the whole thing of like. You can’t post works on the internet and expect people (especially the streamers themselves) to just not see it? Because it’s out in the public. They have every right to view it.

But, I’d personally rather my fics NOT be spoken about on a livestream, in front of thousands of people. That’s just my preference, because honestly the reason I post fics at all is this is a very small fandom, and they won’t blow up or be noticed and judged by multitudes of people. I’m far more comfortable with a small audience, and I would not want my fics to be mentioned on stream where lots of people (far too many for my liking) may go looking for them. (This is why I post more about PR1 than mcyt, even tho I love both equally).

But i think if the streamers are fine with fanfic being posted, I see no reason for people to hate on fanfic??? In fact, I see no reason for people to hate it at all? You can inform someone that a creator is uncomfortable with fanfic/certain types of fanworks and ask them to take it down without being a hater. Decency is not difficult, and when you’re in a fandom that is not against fanfic and stuff I don’t see why you’d ever waste your energy hating on something that literally doesn’t effect you?

It’s the same thing with any type of hate comment. If there’s no reason to be upset by something other than the fact that You Don’t Like It, take some preschool advice and walk away. It doesn’t concern you. (Btw Tasha, I don’t mean you specifically, I mean the Royal You!!! Sorry if this was confusing I just realised lmao)

Sorry for getting pretty serious, but I am just quite upset by people who discourage artists when they haven’t done anything wrong.

That said, if a creator has expressed a desire to not have fanworks made of them, then I implore you to respect their boundaries. It’s just the kind thing to do.

[topazshadowwolf]

False Hope (Chapter 2)

After the human left the underground, Sans is left trying to piece his life back together with those who remain. As time goes on, decisions are made about what monster kind should do next, and how best to escape to the surface. But if they do get there their freedom, what will happen?

Written by: Topaz Shadowwolf Undertale Fan fiction Undertale is owned by Toby Fox

Heads up: Soriel, Sans POV, my goal in writing this is to poke at your emotions Warnings: Major character death, implied suicide, homicidal thoughts, don’t expect a happy ending

AO3 On Tumblr: Ch 1

False Hope: Chapter 2

Anger

It is easy to just say I was angry. Because, yeah, I was angry. Still am, really, just a different kind. I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but there are various levels and strengths to that emotion. To say all anger is the same is like saying one color is the exactly like another. That orange is the same as purple because they both have red in them.

I wasn’t even aware of that myself until that moment, since I’m, uh, not normally the type of monster to get mad. But what I felt in that moment was like being trapped in a well of rage; one that was so deep that I couldn’t see any light or feel anything else. I was trapped in a darkness that was different than the depressed kind I was used to. It took over my soul and mind.

Oddly enough, it was Tori and Papyrus who keep me from slipping too deep. Sounds silly, I know. I mean, some would say the fact I saw and heard them was a sign that I had lost it. Even I question if I’m really “all here.” But all I know is, I could be worse off. Not the best answer, really. It’s all I got, though.

I would have done better if they were alive and with me. But, apparently, that wasn't an option.

How many monsters had to die?

Heh…

And I just sat by, as a passive observer.

In case you’re wondering, watching all that wasn’t what kept me angry. It was the unending wait for the reset. Worse yet, knowing that I desperately want the one thing that I despised for so long. It’s cruel. Imagine wanting something that felt like poison, because you knew it could possibly make everything better in the end. Of course, it could also have made things worse...

Yeah, it was the waiting for the unknown that really got to me.

I guess I still hold on to the notion that things could be better because it had been. There are these visions in my head, they leave the feeling that things had been happy once. That things could have been peaceful; but that wasn’t good enough for…

Well… anyway

I’m still angry.

The light from the screen was starting to hurt his eye sockets, but he didn’t care. Alphys needed this. They sat, marathoning some anime she had found recently. From what she could tell, it was based off some actual human history, though loosely. Sans would hazard a guess that the history ended at some of the names and places. But, Alphys liked it, so he endured it, silently thankful she didn't have a full season. Once they finally finished the episodes she found, they moved on to something more “futuristic.”

Sans glanced at Alphys during the third episode of it, unsure if he should say what was on his mind. Honestly, he was proud of himself for staying awake this long. Normally he is fast asleep by now, and just kept Alphys company by being here and available to talk when she wanted.

Lately, sleeping has been hard, his dreams have been distorted and cruel. Toriel helped when she could, giving him some peace at night, but not every night is peaceful. And it doesn't help he still won't return home, even when Papyrus asked him. Instead, he had used random side caverns in Waterfall. They aren't comfortable, but he never had trouble sleeping anywhere before. When he finally decided to visit Alphys, she invited him to stay at the lab, and he agreed.

Still, there was something bothering him about this anime; besides, it might make her laugh. With an exaggerated sigh, he looked at Alphys, “y’know the science behind this is wrong, right?”

Alphys threw her hands up, started ranting, and shoved him. All Sans could do is snicker, catching enough words to tell she was saying it was about more than the science, and he was being short sighted getting hung up on that. Like normal, she noticed what she was doing and paused, “um, s-sorry, I think I spoiled t-the mid-season… umm… sorry….”

“it’s alright, al,” Sans smiled. They continued watching, Sans added comments now and again, getting the yellow reptilian monster to laugh or yell at him.

As the last episode of the first season ended, they sat in silence again. Alphys must have known there was something on his mind, as she waited in silence. Looking over at her, he paused, undoubtable he hated breaking their fun, but he knew this couldn’t last forever, “so, uh, how’s undyne?”

Alphys looked down, “she’s r-really mad. She w-wishes she could’ve d-done more. I… I think y-you should go t-talk to her.”

Sans looked away, and his eye sockets dimmed, “i don’t think i have the strength for that right now.”

“I-I wish you would…,” Alphys sighed, “she needs s-someone… y-you do too. You know? Someone w-who’s, um, not like me….”

“al,” he put his head in his hands, “i just don’t know how to face her. or anyone living. and what am i supposed to do now?”

Alphys leaned over and hugged him, “I have some n-notes that you should, um, l-look at.” He looked back at Alphys after he forced his eyes to light again, knowing she doesn’t like the empty sockets. “I-I think i-if you look at them y-you’ll be able t-to do what I couldn’t.”

Sans sighed, “sure al.” He shifted to hug her back, “sorry i wasn’t here for you.”

“I-it’s alright… I was… um… well, I…,” Alphys fell silent.

Eventually he left, knowing he will be back later to look over the notes Alphys mentioned. He had a few himself, as well. Perhaps they will combine, and he could use them to achieve their freedom. And then what?

As he made his way to the capitol he stopped and stared at the CORE. During the time in the Underground, two great minds were robbed from monster kind. It was wrong. Both Alphys and her predecessor deserved more than what they got. One was forgotten, and the other was so ignored as a person that she let her sadness consume her. Maybe if he had done more with her, helped her out more than what little he did, Alphys might still be here.

But she will be back again when the human resets, right? It only made sense. After all, that’s how it always worked before. Though, why it felt like they were taking so long to reset was the question. This waiting was agonizing. It made him want to scream. But he didn’t, because a part of him accepted that this was not permanent. That eventually it would all end and he will wake up with little or no memory of this.

All the time he spent in Snowdin’s cold masked a chill that existed in his soul. Even as he stood there, while the heat of Hotlands absorbed into his bones, that frozen section did not warm. Pulling his hood over his skull, he ambled his way through a shortcut, bypassing New Home and went straight to the castle.

The throne room doors, closed before him, were an ominous presence. Behind them sat the first living monster, he would have talk to, since the human left. That notional alone terrified him. The last several weeks he had learned he preferred to talk with the dead. With them he didn't have to explain how he felt, they knew.

It would be easier to not care. To go back and stay with the dead, and not have to deal with the living anymore. That idea sorely tempted him, and he almost turned back. Two different hands touched his shoulders, one on each side, reassured him that he should continue forward. He recognized the large paw of Toriel and the gloved hand of Papyrus. With closed his eye sockets, he soaked in their comfort before he stepped forward, using a shortcut instead of opening the door.

Undyne was there, on the throne. The crown looked just as heavy on her head as it did Asgore’s. The flowers in the throne room were still alive, but clearly not as well tended as Asgore kept them. But then, the boss monster had a way with plants that no one else seemed to possess. Walking further in, he saw her slowly raise her head, and once they looked each other in the eye he stopped.

No words needed to pass between them, they both saw the emotional pain within each other. The same torturous feeling, that all but tore them apart, echoed in their eyes. Standing up from the throne, Undyne smiled and walked forward, “I wish you would’ve gotten here sooner, nerd.”

“i, uh, needed to straighten some things out in my head,” Sans said with a shrug.

Undyne looked at him quietly then nodded, “I understand. And I suppose my first month of ruling was a whirlwind of activity.” There was silence from her for a moment before she shook her head, “I saw you on the monitors in the lab. Not sure who you were talking to… but I think you needed them more than me.”

Unsure of what say, Sans just looked at her; he let the silence between them say what couldn’t be said.

“so, uh, what’s the plan?” Sans asked, tired of being the subject of discussion.

“If possible, I don’t want to collect souls. We don’t need humans to free us,” Undyne said, her grip on her spear tightened till her knuckles blanched. The weapon had an appearance like the trident that Asgore owned. “I want us to kill any human that falls down here, still. And when we escape we will hunt down that murderer.”

Understanding that plan, Sans nodded.

“well, there are some notes in the lab that might help with that. alphys was nearing an answer, and maybe i can finish what she started.”

They talked, and planned for a while, until they tired. Undyne encouraged him to stay at the castle. He accepted for just the night, and let her know he would spend the rest of his nights in the lab.

When he had a moment alone, he made a phone call to the human.