#this gave me a good chuckle
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no-significant-askblog · 2 months ago
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https://youtu.be/84q83skr_tk?si=wV-UiWpRUBsr9KBU
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" nah . i'm not ignoring you . anyways —
quite a good piece of music , i'd say ! i could see myself listening to this during a pleasantly busy morning . thank you for accidentally sharing ~ ! "
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picory · 9 months ago
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who lays the egg branch or poppy
THIS QUESTION. so unexpected. but well they're t4t to me so, branch
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mostlykind · 5 months ago
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sweetdreamsbuck · 10 months ago
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😗
HAHA this means the world to me! love you 💜
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wizardsimper · 5 months ago
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I'm so sad that the romance party banter is bugged because some of it is so freaking cute, here's my personal fave
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cowardlykrow · 9 months ago
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“Not my circus, not my monkeys”… Except those are his monkeys and they are the circus
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cheekylittlepupp · 8 months ago
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It's annoying that the gayest most flamboyant character in a videogame ever created that I've ever seen can be romanced by female characters canonically. I finally have a gay icon to thirst for and he is being ruined by pussy. Disgusting. I hate you and everyone else who posts hetrosexual content with Astarion. Fuck you and every other vagina owner.
lmfao I’m sorry but this was way too funny not to post
“Vagina owner” “ruined by pussy” says the person who’s actively being a ‘pussy’ by hiding behind anon
I will tell you something scary now tho, listen carefully okay?
He’s canonically pan. 🫢
Also him being “flamboyant” is mostly an act, but even then, being flamboyant doesn’t mean you’re automatically gay, just how being “masculine” or “feminine” doesn’t mean you’re automatically heterosexual. Wild concept I know 😱
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aerialworms · 2 years ago
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[Image ID: A screenshot of two tumblr posts on my dash. The first is a poll with the title "in honor of the MET Gala tonight, how do you pronounce Gala? The three options of the poll are "GAIL-uh", at 7.8%, "GAY-luh", at 4.6%, and "another way???", at 87.6%. I've voted for the last option, and the person who reblogged it onto my dash tagged their reblog "#gah la". There are 9,747 votes on the poll.
The second post in the screenshot is this post. /end ID]
i love the trend of tumblr users making polls to settle a trivial little argument where they confidently assert how right they think they are and then the poll results overwhelmingly prove that they were wrong
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fullmoonfireball · 1 year ago
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Puddle jumpscare! BOO!
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superduperkas · 13 days ago
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lol Maddie tries TWICE to get Caitlyn to turn heel on Ambessa by reforming the council; Cait dismisses the suggestion both times, even going as far as saying how much she has learned from her. But within seconds of being in the same air as Vi and being called Cupcake, she comes up with a plan not only to help the "monster" they're tracking down escape but turns heel on Ambessa by using her own hubris and teachings against her
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robo-milky · 8 months ago
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To our playful cat maid,
What I’m seeing on your dash is just a prolonged prank of April Fools, yes? Surely, you are simply living up to your title of Trickster! I do love the jokes that come out of your little drawings and musings, but I’m afraid this one flew over my head like Cupid’s arrow over your heart.
- 🏹 :(
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AWWW ROOK ANON- I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HAD TO COME BACK TO THIS 😭 Don’t hit me with the :( - My heart can’t take it. I’m sorry you had to witness the cursed betrayal- Rook will always be mine and Cloche’ number 1! (In all seriousness it’s just platonic appreciation, trust)
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crowclubkaz · 1 year ago
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do you ever think about how kaz and jesper got into a fistfight and all their friends just stood there watching until jesper's dad went in and broke it up by shouting his full government name. the crows are literally just Normal Teenagers sometimes and i love that for them
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cringefailvox · 5 days ago
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“The sound of money being wasted” by Raymond Scott. (Spotify)
I feel like I witnessed Alastor prettily attempting to bully Vox. “You’re so stupid, do you know how stupid you sound right now? You sound like this,�� *keysmashes a soundboard* “this is how stupid you sound right now.” *deranged beep boops* “‘Computer music’...”
song here btw it's hysterical. this is just what plays in alastor's head whenever vox talks
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speedofsoundsketches · 9 months ago
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Tumblr doesn’t do this anymore but there once was a time when you’d get notified if someone used your gifs. This is only a small sample of the very... diverse range of uses for this one melancholic Rouge gif.
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celestialrealms · 1 year ago
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how is this so cute and yet objectively one of the funniest things he's ever done 😭
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tongue-like-a-razor · 1 year ago
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Ahahaha the gif 🤣🤣
Brother's Best Friend - Part 5
Jake Seresin x F!Reader
A/N: Thanks for all the ideas you guys have been sending in! They're all so wonderful it's hard to choose what to write next haha Hope you guys like this chapter, inspired by some of the ideas sent in
Summary: The trials and tribulations of falling for your brother's best friend.
CW: Excessive drinking, swearing, slow burn, fluff
WC: 2000+
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Masterlist
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“What are you wearing?”
You look up from your spot on the couch to see Jake standing at the entrance to the living room with a slightly bewildered expression. You grimace at him and then look down at your shirt. “Oh,” you respond with a laugh, remembering that you’d changed a few hours ago after spilling tomato sauce on your tank top. “It’s one of Bradley’s band tees.”
“No,” Jake corrects you, taking a single step forward. “It’s one of my band tees.”
You watch him steadily. “Okay,” you say slowly, not really sure what his problem is. “Do you want it back?” You rise from the couch and start pulling the shirt upward when you realize that you aren’t wearing bra. “Oh shit!” You clap a hand to your mouth. “You almost got a show,” you say with a laugh.
Jake’s eyes, which had drifted down to your bare abdomen as you were lifting the shirt, slide back up to your face. He doesn’t appear nearly as amused as you. On the contrary, he looks like he might pass out. “You – you’re wearing just my shirt?” he asks, his voice uncharacteristically brittle.
“Look, what was it doing crumpled up on one of our kitchen chairs, anyway?” you say defensively.
Jake licks his lips uncomfortably. He’s still holding your gaze but he isn’t responding.
You roll your eyes. “Oh god, don’t tell me there was another encounter in my house.”
Jake releases an unsteady sigh. “Would you call strip poker an encounter?”
“Jake!” you exclaim. “You have your own place!”
“It was a double date,” Jake responds sheepishly.
You shake your head. “Well, I hope you enjoyed seeing my brother’s ass.”
“Actually, your brother is surprisingly good at Texas hold’em.”
“Regardless!” You groan in frustration. “How do you walk out without wearing a shirt, Jake?”
Jake purses his lips. “I’m a little hazy on that part, to be honest.”
“You’re ridiculous,” you say.
“Well, you look ridiculous,” he counters.
You scoff. “I do not. I can totally pull off” – you drop your chin to examine the front of the shirt – “Pantera,” you finish with a slight cringe.
“Don’t make that face,” Jake says, pointing a cautioning finger at you.
You shrug. “You’re the one who said I look ridiculous.”
“Only because you’re drowning in in.”
“It’s not my fault you’re twice my size,” you retort, noticing that the hem of the t-shirt hangs so low that it hides the shorts you’re wearing underneath.
Jake takes another few steps forward, chuckling. “It’s actually pretty fucking cute that it goes all the way down to your knees,” he says, placing his hand over your head to ruffle your hair. “Keep it,” adds, and then drops onto your couch with a tired sigh.
“I can’t keep it,” you say. “People are going to ask me if I know any of their music –”
Jake waves a hand. “I’ll show you,” he says. “You’re gonna love it, trust me.”
You plop down onto the couch beside him and cross your legs. “Seems a little backwards.”
Jake looks over at you with a grin. “Suits your vibe.”
You smack him on the shoulder and he laughs. Then, there’s a knock on the door and you gasp. “Oh my god, I completely forgot to change for my date!”
Jake’s smile falters instantly. “You have a date?”
You give him a flat look. “Like you don’t.”
He shakes his head.
“Well, give it a minute, I guess,” you respond sarcastically, getting up.
Jake smirks and rises after you. “Maybe he’ll like your new look.”
You let out a nervous whimper and head for the door with Jake right on your heels. You pull open the door and nearly hit Jake with it because he’s so close behind you. You shake your head at him and then greet your boyfriend.
“Hey,” he responds hesitantly, his eyes darting between yours and Jake’s faces. “What’s going on?”
“Not much, come on in,” you say.
Jake remains silent, waiting to be introduced.
“Wow,” your boyfriend says. “What are you wearing?” He tilts his head to examine the shirt. “Pantera? Is that Spanish for panther? That's a lot of skulls.”
You notice Jake making a face at the back of his head and you give him a warning look. “I was just about to change,” you say with a tight smile.
Your boyfriend nods. “Good.”
Jake narrows his eyes and steps around your date to face him. “Hey there,” he says in a loud, exaggerated baritone. He holds out his hand in a gesture that seems more aggressive than polite.
You roll your eyes and rub your forehead irritably. “I’ll be right back,” you promise, eyeing your boyfriend apologetically as Jake throws you a massive grin.
You run up the stairs, taking them two at a time, as Jake begins grilling your boyfriend about the last time his vehicle was serviced.
You pull Jake’s t-shirt off and toss it in the hamper, and then you find a cute, backless top that looks great with your jean shorts. You glance at yourself in the full-length mirror before heading back down and smile. You’re a catch. Even if Jake Seresin will never see it that way.
You rush down the stairs just as Jake finishes instructing your boyfriend on how to check the pressure in his tires. The latter is watching him with a dubious expression.
“Alright, let’s roll!” you say, bouncing off the final step and charging the space between them.
Jake steps back as you crash into him, forcefully shoving him aside. “What time will you kids be back?” he asks as you hook your arm through your boyfriend’s and lead him out onto the porch.
You glance over your shoulder crossly. “No clue,” you say curtly, in response to which Jake gives you a once-over, as if he’s just noticed your attire.
When his eyes meet yours again, he’s wearing a more genuine expression. “Be careful,” he calls.
You wave a dismissive hand in his direction and turn to face your date, who is repeatedly checking to see if Jake has retreated into the house. “Is that your brother?” he asks.
Several hours and seven tequila shots later, you’re suddenly feeling extremely unwell. You stagger down the hallway, zigzagging between the walls toward the bathroom and, once you’re inside, you lock the door behind you and slide down the wall onto the floor.
You pull your phone out of your pocket, and it flies right out of your hand. With a groan, you crawl forward to pick it back up. You blink to focus your eyes on the screen, your thumb hovering over your brother’s name. You would call him, except that Bradley has been at the Hard Deck every night this past week, trying to woo the bartender. So, he probably isn’t in any condition to come and pick you up.
You sigh, squinting at Jake’s name in your contacts list. If you call him, he will never let you live this down. But the longer you wait, the faster the room spins around you and, by the time you tap on his number, you feel like you are on death’s doorstep, laying your back down on the cold, tiled floor.
“Hello?” Jake answers. “Y/N?” You can hear the edge in his tone despite the sounds of the bar in the background.
“Jake,” you say weakly.
“What’s going on?” he asks urgently as the background noises fade away. You hear the ring of the door as he steps outside. “Are you okay?”
“Mm-hm,” you lie. “I’m just very, very drunk. And I think I’m dying. The two are probably related.”
“Where are you?” he asks sternly and you hear the beep of his car as he unlocks the door.
“I’m at a house party,” you croak. “On the first floor. In the bathroom down the hall.”
You hear Jake sigh and then his car door slam when he pulls it shut. Next, you hear the engine. “The address, genius.”
“Oh,” you say. “Fuck if I know.”
“Drop a pin.”
“’Kay, hang on.” You lift the phone away from your ear and hold it up to send Jake your location. Only, your grip falters and your phone comes crashing down onto your face. “Ow!” you moan.
“Y/N?” Jake’s distressed voice is muffled by the fluffy bathroom mat on which your phone has landed.
You whimper and pick it back up. “Can you hurry?” you say, bringing the phone to your ear again.
“Y/N, I need you to concentrate, okay?” he says, steadily. “I still don’t know where you are.”
You let out a soft sob. “I’m in the bathroom!”
“For fuck’s sake, Bradshaw! Pay attention!” he yells and you flinch, nearly dropping your phone all over again. “I need the address!”
“Oh, right!” you exclaim. “Hang on.” You sit up and try again. “Did you get it?”
There’s a pause on the other end while Jake checks his phone. “Yeah, I got it. I’m ten minutes out.”
“Okay,” you respond with a slight whine. “That’s a very long time.”
“Don’t worry,” he says. “I’ll be there in five.”
“’Kay, don’t speed,” you mutter, closing your eyes as you lay back down onto the floor.
You hear Jake chuckle. “Did you forget who you’re talkin’ to?”
You sigh softly, too tired to actually laugh. “Jake,” you say. “I feel like I’m on a carousel in the middle of the ocean.”
“Hang in there, shorty,” he says. “Where’s your boyfriend, anyway?”
“No idea. Last time I saw him was when he lost at beer pong. Such a sore loser.”
“Classy,” Jake remarks. Then, after a few moments of silence, he says. “Keep talkin’, darlin’, I’m almost there.”
“I’m just going to take a little nap,” you say sleepily.
“I’d rather you keep talkin’, so I know you’re okay.”
“I’m okay,” you reply. “What do you want me to talk about?”
“What’s your favorite color?” he asks.
“You know what my favorite color is,” you say with amusement.
Jake chuckles. “Fine. Tell me about your plans for the weekend.”
“A nice, quiet funeral,” you say, willing the ceiling to stop rotating above you. “You’re invited.”
Jake snorts. “You any good at poker?”
“I’m not playing strip poker with my brother, Jake.”
“We can keep it PG for you, kiddo. Besides, Bradley might be too busy for us, anyhow.”
“Aww, did he get a date with the barmaid?”
“He got a date with the barmaid.” You can hear the smile in Jake's voice.
“But he’ll miss my funeral.”
Jake laughs. “Sorry to burst your bubble, cupcake, but I’m here. So, we’ll have to postpone that funeral, if you don't mind.”
The knowledge that he’s close by is a such relief that you let the phone slip out from your hand. In less than a minute, he’s knocking on the bathroom door.
“Y/N?” he says cautiously.
“Yeah,” you respond, rising unsteadily to your feet and unlocking it for him.
He bursts in and you stagger backward, so he grabs your hand and pulls you forward, and you sway right into his arms. Jake holds you tightly as you try to regain your footing. He lowers his face to get a good look at you. “Having a good night?” he asks with a cheeky grin.
You strike his chest with your palm half-heartedly. “Don’t be mean,” you murmur, resting your head on his solid pecs.
He smells fresh and warm and you detect a trace of cologne still infused into the cotton of his shirt; smooth and velvety with a hint of citrus and a hefty dose of ‘I’m about to rip your clothes off’ sandalwood.
“I think I’m going to vomit,” you say, bringing a hand over your mouth.
“It’ll probably make you feel better,” he says, gesturing to the toilet in the corner of the bathroom.
You shake your head, refusing to throw up in Jake Seresin’s presence. “Let’s just get out of here,” you whimper.
Jake leads you carefully through the house, making sure you aren’t bumping into any people or walls. Your boyfriend, of course, is nowhere to be found. Jake brings you outside and steers you toward his car. Without letting go of you, he opens the passenger door and helps you into the seat slowly. You drop your head back and close your eyes as he brings the seatbelt over your chest and buckles you in.
“Thank you,” you whisper.
“Wow, you smell like a distillery,” he notes with a laugh.
You smile and open your eyes. “I thought you were going to be mad.”
He furrows his eyebrows. “Why would I be mad?” he asks, still leaning into the passenger side of the car.
You shrug. “Because I’m irresponsible,” you try to say, however the words come out very slurred.
Jake chuckles. “You’re probably the most responsible person I know,” he says. He reaches up to tuck back a strand of your hair, his fingers drifting down the side of your face and lingering for a moment at your cheek. “You deserve a night off.”
You stare into his eyes, all the feelings you’ve been trying to suppress bubbling up in your gut, together with your nausea. What’s worse, your head is spinning even harder, if that’s possible. If only Jake knew how much you longed for him. If only he know how much you wanted him to kiss you.
“Cheer up, buttercup,” he says with a wink, pinching your chin affectionately. “You’re going to feel so much worse tomorrow. In fact, we should probably save your introduction to heavy metal until after your hangover.”
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