#this future plan is the thing stopping me getting my own cat. u win some u lose some

[crowlixcx]

34 (What’s your favorite flower?) and 37 (Do you prefer dogs or cats?) ? 💖

Hiya resa 💗 oops I've answered both of these so just picked another one from the 30s

31. What are you looking forward to in the distant future?

My partner and I are currently saving up to take some time off work and do some traveling. Unsure on destinations yet but Vietnam, the Philippines, Mexico and Argentina are some options on the table

[italoniponic]

QnA with Mc

People on social media wanted to know more about the mysterious student who lived in Ramshackle Dorm so they agreed.

Here are the most interesting questions from the QnA

BootySolomon:have you ever been in a fight.

Mc: well i have stopped fighting for the most part but i did beat up the cashier and chef at a fast food joint for spiitting in my food and throwing it at me and yes i did win

Blazeno:what was the craziest thing that happened to you at one of the magical courses

Mc: Welk Blazeno thats a tough one cuz its some new shit everyday but if i had to choose one the top of my head it would be when i summoned a demon from the underworld at Alchemy class.

Foveone: whats your darkest secret

Mc:Well for starters i have many but one of them is that I have embezzled money from our school cafe called the Mostro lounge.

ChanUpfor:whats a random talent you have.

Mc:I can speak 12 different languages dont if that counts but there you go

Jacorp: Who are you friends with

Mc:anyone with a tragic backstory

Anuraft:what part time job did you do when you were younger

Mc:i used to be a Vtuber when i was 13 but i doubt if that counts

DeckMon:whats one bad thing you did that you dont regret

Mc:Let me telk you a story. I have a fruend called Sebek and hes a nice guy and all a tad bit to fanatic of his waka sama but that something else for a different day but one thing everyone can agree about him is that he is loud. So on this day i was very tired and exhausted frim carrying out errands for the headmage at our school and of course that day hapoened ti be the day that my friend Ace decided to annoy me the most. Now usually i would ignore hum until he stopped but kn this day in particular i was out for blood so i hatched a plan. I would give Sebek a potion that nakes his voice really high pitched under the gusie that u was trying to perfect the voice changing potion to pass Alchemy class. Knowing Ace he would definitely make fun of Sebek and kniwing him he wouldn't take it lying down so what happens the plan goes accordingly with a touch of subtle instigation you get a fist fight at the Basketball courts . Now did i regret everything that happened no did i also feel bad for being the reason Acs got his ass beat also no but was it entertaining yes i even have it here recorded on my phone but unfortunately i cant share it with you all.

PlanetDreamy:hey Mc im really happy to have decided to listen to your QnA because it makes me so happy. Lately somethings Irl have made me really sad and depressed but your live stream has really brightened my day thank you

Mc:Hey dreamy Thank you so much for your kind words and I hope you stay string through whatever is happening to you in your private life. I cant guarantee that it will end soon, i also cant guarantee that you ghat everything will be alriggt in fhe end but want i can Guarantee you is that if you ever need to talk i will always be there for you no matter what happens i promise

SnowboardJunky:what scares you the most at the NRC

Mc: when were having a culinary crucible and Lilia is a participant and im a judge

Wallani:Aren't you tired of being nice. Don't you ever wanna go apeshit

Mc:Every. Single. Damn. Day

Tyraft:is that cat your Familiar

Mc:No he's family and he's fire weasel get it right

Grim(in the background) :im not a weasel

VivalaCrazii:whats your favorite food

Mc:Fried Crow and Chips with ketchup

GazetteBug: Will you do more of these in the future

Mc:Dunno you'll have to ask my Manager Cherry about that one

Bonus Hcs

Mc learnt 7 languages for their role in plays and movies,4 of them are languages native to Twisted wonderland one of them is fae(which Mc remarks that its similar to Latin from their world) and the last one is tongues dont ask why or how they know it

Grim has very few clothes but the ones he does own are matching bg knes with Mc

One time Floyd hmwas realky hyper so Mc shit him with a tranq gun which now sits in Azuls office in case of emergencies

Mc got into Astrology because Petwr told them when theyvwere younger that he telks them that he lives in a place near the milky way and woukd have mc guess where it was

Every Disney character i have mentioned thus far knows that Twisted wonderland exists

After spending so long at Nrc Mc doesn't get scared easily anymkre which is why Lilia has made it his mission to scare mc but all his attempts have ended in failure

I should also mention that one tume he tried to change things up by changing into a robber but unfortunately for him Mc and the first years plus Foyd were all chilling in the living room at ranshackle dorm when decided ti pull this stunt and because of how he looked he almost got jumped by them until he frantically teleported away

Mc has the habit of giving backhanded compliments when gheir annoyed with people.

I dknt uf mentioned this ub a previous ask but Mc would have been an honirs student but since Grim is the second half if their student identity his marks drag down theirs preventing them from being an honors student.

Mc one time painted a hedgehog from heartslaybul blue gave it red runnung shoes and called it sonic one whim one day

Due to how run down Ramshackled dorm is the llace tends to break and falk apart at random so mc has basically learned spidey sense so yeah good luck beating them at dodgeball

Mc one time asked if he could get a get crocodile they were denied one

Mc doesnt mind danger because in their eyes the scars are proof this is real

For the QnA Mc face was blurred

Mc can sail a boat because Donald Taught them

Mc is ambidextrous because they one time broke their right hand so they learnt how to write with their left hand

Last one Becaise Mc is broke student they learnt how to sow their clothes shut and sometimes will even Knit sweaters with Lilia

Real last one Mc one time got a bead bracelet from leona bht Malleus git jacket and wanted Mc wear a bracelet frim briar valley mc said no so they suggested that Malleus gives them one bead from them and they will put it in their bracelet and well this had a domino effect because by the end of the week all of mc friends and even the staff gave them a bead(Chenya sneaked in one night and added a bead from him and Neige) mc has never taken that bracelet off ever since

Once again i hope this covers the lack of headcanons i have given as ways feel free to ask questions about them

Goodbye

First: super sorry for the late reply! It's been a very chaotic time these last months and tho I did post some things and I put this on drafts to comment on later, I ended up lost track of it (as with other things I wanted to post/rb but still are in the drafts). I'm sorry for it!

This MC is the same for the Hardworking MC series (or just general hcs about MC)~ there's one more ask made about it and I'll be sure to have it pre-prepared after finally posting!

the QnA with your MC was really interesting and it also reminded me of that old interview fic format I wrote really back in the day (not with twst, it was other fandom), so it was actually nostalgic lol as weird as it sounds

the characters interviewing MC, the stories with other characters and the questions lol I can imagine that it took time to do and also to tap all into the ask, so thank you for all the work! it was so sweet and fun to read~ I’ll join you in a round with fried crow and chips, no ketchup for me, and I almost died when I saw that I was promoted as your manager TwT)

I think it would be really interesting as your own post, like you fleshing out more of your MC or the other ones you have in posts in your blog. Especially to not depend so much on my horrible posting schedule lol you have all my support on that!

and Bonus Hcs session!! 

GRIM & MC WITH MATCHING CLOTHES YESSS~ (that’s the little joys in life when you can’t get to be the honor student ig)

just MC and Cater taking photos with the blue hedgehog and MC singing “Gotta Go Fast!” while nobody understands but they’re used to their own world references now so, let’s question it later (Riddle is not thrilled) 

“Mc one time asked if he could get a get crocodile they were denied one” and that’s how they made friends with Sebek

the bracelet story was really sweet <3 I always wanted to make one with my friends when I was little but it never got into it, I still think it’s really cute tho~ 

not a problem, dear! I’ll have prepared your next ask about MC and the dorms so I can post it next day, the faster I can <3 thanks as always!

[ridiasfangirlings]

Ridia, do u remember the Drabble I ask on twitter? The one with Mikorei play "gay chicken" for 14 years, and the adopted cat saru ?

Mikorei crack? Mikorei crack.

Totsuka-kun calls it 'gay chicken.'

Munakata has never heard of such a game, and indeed he isn't certain what a gay chicken has to do with the way he and Suoh remain constantly at odds. Being the student council president, it is simply Munakata's job to keep an eye on those wayward youth who require more guidance in life.

Suoh in particular has clearly from the start required more guidance than most. Munakata has caught him twice now smoking behind the school during lunch break in just this week, and it's only Wednesday. There was also the matter of sleeping during homeroom, getting into various fights with other delinquents and the issue of his hair color, which Munakata suspects is not quite as natural as Suoh wishes everyone to think it is.

It is for this reason, and this reason only, that their paths cross more often than not. Naturally if he had his way Munakata would see no reason to spend time with such an incorrigible person. Munakata has far better things to do than pin Suoh to a locker and lecture him on the proper way to wear a school uniform (it was Suoh's friend Totsuka Tatara who also described Munakata's actions as 'pinning him up against a locker.' For his part, Munakata was simply trying to make certain that his words were being properly heeded, and he's always thought it best to maintain close and consistent eye contact when trying to make one's point in a clear and concise manner).

Totsuka has been giggling about it for nearly two weeks for some reason. In fact, it occurs to Munakata that there has been some school gossip in general about his relationship with Suoh – why they need to 'get a room,' and what exactly they are supposed to do there, he's not entirely certain. Somehow Munakata suspects that everyone's gotten their 'relationship' – if that's even the best term for it, and he doesn't believe it is – entirely wrong.

“'Gay chicken,' Totsuka-kun?” Munakata attempts to slide the lunch tray under Suoh's arms, Suoh having rested his head on the cafeteria table in an apparent attempt to sleep through lunch, utterly ignoring the importance of proper nutrition and its relationship to school performance.

“It's a new game, Munakata-san!” Totsuka nods his head emphatically. On his opposite side Suoh's other friend Kusanagi Izumo groans and puts a hand to his head. Suoh doesn't even so much as grunt, and Munakata considers 'accidentally' hitting him in the head with the tray. “No one's sure who's winning yet, you or King.”

“I was unaware we were playing a game.” Suoh snores, and Munakata's elbow just somehow manages to find the back of his neck. Suoh doesn't even blink, much less wake up.

“That's the fun part.” Totsuka's eyes are shining and Kusanagi's very deliberately not looking at any of them. “You see, Munakata-san...” He leans over to whisper the rules in Munakata's ear.

“I see.” Munakata considers. He hadn't expected Suoh to play this kind of game, but then again Suoh's thought process is as always entirely opposite of what Munakata would assume any normal person's should be. That he's possibly being toyed with and hasn't noticed until now is perhaps a bit irritating, as Munakata has always been quite proud of his observation skills. That he might be losing is even more bothersome.

Not that Munakata would care about such things. Munakata has had his entire career path complete with schooling and eventual government position mapped out since he was five, and so far his plan has been proceeding just as he'd hoped. Something as trivial as this...'gay chicken,' being played by a layabout with no ambition at all like Suoh, that is not and has never been in his calculations.

Suoh snorts and Munakata looks down, just in time to meet his gaze. Despite having presumably slept through the entire conversation Suoh is smirking, and Munakata's eyes narrow in displeasure.

Munakata decides that he will not be losing to such a person, not even in the most trivial of ways, and that is the absolute and only reason that he grabs Suoh by the collar and hauls him up so that they are face to face before promptly and purposefully pinning him to the lunch table with a kiss.

Munakata is still unsure as to precisely what kind of game gay chicken is supposed to be, but either way he intends to be the winner.

–

“Suoh, please refrain from snoring during the movie.”

Mikoto looks at him sidelong, eyelids heavy over piercing eyes, not so much sitting in his seat as draping himself over it like some manner of large sleepy cat. Munakata suggested the movie, a fascinating true crime documentary that he's been wanting to see for weeks. Suoh agreed, presumably in order to keep from losing the game too badly.

(They have been playing gay chicken for three months. So far, they have been on five dates, three of which were initiated by Munakata. Mikoto has gained a brief lead by being the first to kiss with tongue. Munakata is determined to regain his advantage and assumed that making out in a movie theater would at least give him enough points to draw even, if Suoh could stay awake long enough for Munakata to initiate the kissing.)

“ 'S boring.” Mikoto yawns, head thrown back, hair tousled. One leg is propped up on the armrest between them, and Munakata irritably shoves it back down. Mikoto grins in response, that absolutely infuriating – (intoxicating) – grin of his, and Munakata is not amused.

“My apologies. Perhaps a children's movie would have been more to your taste.”

“Not my fault you suck at picking out dates, Munakata.” Mikoto reaches over and grabs a fistful of popcorn out of the bag propped on Munakata's lap, tossing it into his mouth. Bits of it stick to his hands and he wipes them on his pants, even though Munakata brought plenty of napkins for just this reason.

“I have not been impressed with your abilities in that department either, thus far. Please use a napkin like a civilized person.” Munakata holds one out and Mikoto very deliberately wipes a hand on his pants again, still smirking.

He is honestly the most irritating man Munakata has ever met. Munakata has no idea why anyone would willingly subject themselves to spending time with such an insufferable person – the wild red hair, the slow rumbling voice that drawls out nothing but nonsense, those golden eyes that look like they belong to some beast from the savannah. A person with no plans and no ambition, who had looked at Munakata's carefully laid future path and rolled his eyes, wondering why Munakata willingly chose to put himself in society's cage.

“Being this close to you absolutely disgusts me,” Munakata says, taking one of Mikoto's hands and very slowly putting his mouth around one of the fingers.

Within five minutes Suoh has his back against the flat of the chair with Munakata leaning over him and Munakata's certain they both hate it, breathing each other's air, and as soon as he stops kissing Mikoto's lips he intends to say as much.

–

Munakata is fully aware that Suoh is entirely unequipped to handle a proper wedding, which is why when the time comes he takes matters into his own hands.

Certainly he'd been surprised, when Suoh had decided to escalate things by proposing. Until that moment Munakata had assumed that his lead was secure, having initiated physical relations months ago. Surely there was no way Suoh could top that (well, topping had been another issue entirely, which Munakata had intended to thoroughly discuss if Suoh hadn't told him to shut up and take his clothes off). Suoh had responded by stopping by the small government office where Munakata was currently working as an intern and all but tossing a ring at him.

“Oya? Such an unexpected gift. I was unaware that you were fond of fine jewelry, Suoh.” Munakata had put the ring on his finger, admiring the perfect fit while Mikoto just shrugged.

“Figured a frilly guy like you would expect a fancy engagement ring.”

(Suoh works as a bouncer and Munakata doubts that it pays much, so he made certain later to thank Kusanagi Izumo for the ring.)

Proposal being now off the table, Munakata knows there is only one way to maintain his lead in gay chicken. He knows that Suoh will be working in Kusanagi's bar in the afternoon, so he makes certain to stop by and drop the paper off in Mikoto's hands.

“What's this?” Mikoto unrolled it, leaning against the bar and letting his cigarette get irresponsibly close to the paper in his other hand.

“A marriage certificate. Please be assured that I have made certain everything was executed according to law. If you would sign here please.”

There's a slightly bemused look on Mikoto's face as he grabs a pen from the bar counter and signs his name before handing the certificate back to Munakata. Munakata feels the pleasant flush of victory as he places the paper back inside his jacket pocket.

“Very good. I will see you back tonight at our apartment for the wedding night.”

“Oi. Munakata.” Munakata stops at the sound of Suoh's voice and turns. Suoh has one hand resting on his chin, leg propped on a chair, a puff of cigarette smoke billowing in the air as he gives that smile Munakata has become all too accustomed to (the one that perhaps, if Munakata were in the business of giving up points, would make a pleasant twinge run down his spine).

“Yes, Suoh?”

“Hope you planned a good honeymoon.”

Munakata returns the smile with his own triumphant smirk. Naturally he already has the plane tickets ordered.

--

They've adopted a cat.

Munakata picked it up from some foster for troubled pets or something like that. Its name is Saruhiko and Mikoto's pretty sure the damn thing hates his guts. The stupid thing hisses whenever Mikoto walks by and it's already turned two of his pillowcases into fancy ribbons and stuffing. It spends half its time clawing up the sofa and the rest of the time outside baiting the neighbor's chihuahua

“Suoh. It is your turn to feed the cat.”

“Eh?” Mikoto opens his eyes and sees Munakata there staring down at him, standing beside the couch. There's already grooves in the cushions from how often Mikoto's slept there. It was his decision to buy it, since Munakata insisted on picking out the wallpaper and the flooring and every other bit of the apartment.

“I have fed Saruhiko already today, and I have work to finish. If you could feed our cat, please.”

Our. Mikoto snorts, not even bothering to get up.

“It's your stupid cat.”

“Our cat, Suoh.” Munakata leans down to pet the cat and Mikoto swears the little demon takes a swipe at him, which Munakata easily manages to avoid. “He is hungry. If you could feed him.”

Mikoto huffs but sits up, rubbing the back of his head as he swings his feet over onto the floor. Saruhiko promptly claws his ankles and Mikoto leans down to pick it up by the scruff of the neck.

“Adult cats are not meant to be carried that way.” Munakata's tone is filled with light admonishment and Mikoto sighs, putting the cat back on the floor. Saruhiko promptly hides under the couch, blue eyes glaring balefully out at him. “Remember to heat the food up before you give it to him. And do not use the old bag, he does not eat anything older than four days.”

Damn picky cat. Mikoto stretches, heading towards the kitchen.

“Suoh.” He glances back and Munakata smiles triumphantly, the ring on his finger reflecting gold off the rims of his glasses. “I believe I am winning.”

“...Right.” Mikoto disappears into the kitchen, looking for the cat food. He doesn't intend to let Munakata win forever, of course. The bastard's insufferable enough as it is.

Eventually Mikoto will probably tell him, that he stopped playing gay chicken years ago.

Eventually.

[lilhemmo]

Mobile Masterlist

If you want to just scroll through everything, my tag is: /my-writing

If you want to send me feedback/requests, feel free to go to MY ASK BOX

HERE is the link to my Wattpad account. I have full multichapter WIP’s that I post there, as well as a compilation of the one shots I’ve posted here.

Everything I write is safe for any age/rating practically. I will put the ratings and warnings in each summary so you will know ahead of time. 

Thank you so much for your continued support and requests! I hope you guys enjoy reading! x

Most recent update: June 4, 2019

L U K E    H E M M I N G S

- Lilies and Lattes:  Summary: You’ve had a soulmate tattoo since you could remember, but there’s no way it’s right. You’ve never been to Seattle, and you don’t plan on going. Word Count: 6.2K | Rated: T+ (heavy language, sensual scenes, alcohol)

- Double Shot: Prompt is - “Why are you so jealous?” Summary: You’re the manager of Bean There, Done That Cafe when you notice a certain blonde orders one too many shots of espresso. Word Count: 2.1K | Rated: K - Art and Whiskey: Prompts are - “You’re lucky you’re cute.” and “I’m too sober for this.” Summary: You attend the Hemmings Corp. annual Christmas party and meet a new friend. CEO!Luke AU. Word Count: 2.7K | Rated: T+ (language, alcohol) 

- More Creamer Please:  Summary: Luke is a famous CEO and you work for a magazine that makes money off of his late nights and poor decisions. You try your hardest to keep him out of the bad spotlight, but your boss has other ideas.  Word Count: 14.2K | Rated: T+ (language, alcohol, sensual scenes)

- Only Time Will Tell: Prompts are - “You come to my room and wake me up at 4 am to cuddle?” and “What if I told you I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.” Summary: You and Luke have been best friends since the womb. Now you’re all grown up.  Word Count: 2,800+ | Rated: T+ (language, alcohol, emotional)

- Playing Catch Up: Prompt is - “Well. Yell, scream, say something. Anything.” Summary: You knew Luke before the fame. What does that mean for the two of you when he’s become an international popstar? Word Count: 1,600+ | Rated: K

- Woman Up: Prompts are - “Where do you think you’re going?” and “I need some time.” Summary: Something is wrong with you and Luke. What you had was strong, special. Now you’re not so sure. Word Count: 2,000+ | Rated: T+ (alcohol, language)

- Stray Hairs:  Summary: Luke’s hair is annoying him, so he asks you to braid it. Word Count: 250+ | Rated: K

- Just Admit It: Prompt is - “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.” Summary: Luke is too honest sometimes. (Gender Neutral Reader) Word Count: 1,000+ | Rated: K

S W E E T   P E A

- the forbidden fruit: Summary: When Hades is cast away to the Underworld for his own protection, he discovers a mortal with whom he has a connection. She is most definitely not what he expected. Word Count: 15K+ | Rated: T

- death & promises: Request is - “Royal!AU + Fake Marriage” Summary: Prince Sweetwater, known to you as Sweet Pea, has been your best friend since before you could remember. It’s time for you to get married to a prince so you can become queen, but that means that you and Sweet Pea will no longer be allowed to be friends. So, how do you solve this? Just pretend to marry Sweet Pea. Problem solved... or is it? Word Count: 4.9K+ | Rated: T

- bloody knuckles: Request is - “Scars + Bathtub!fic” Summary: Sweet Pea is used to patching you up, but with every scar and every bruise, he begins to fear more for your future. You shun him for trying to put a stop to your boxing career, and in giving you space he also allows you to fall further into self-destruction. Word Count: 3.3K+ | Rated: T+

- war in switzerland: Request is - “Flirting Under Fire + Bar!AU + Injured!fic” Summary: It’s been a while since you’ve been back to Riverdale. You thought you’d never go back, if you were being honest. But something draws you back, and Jughead thinks you need to celebrate at the Whyte Wyrm, which has recently become Switzerland, a place of neutrality. Until a fight breaks out. Word Count: 2.4K+ | Rated: T

- marked for the kill: Request is - “Roommates!AU + Dancing!fic” Summary: One night, after being marked as a sacrifice for the Gargoyle King, you’re forced out of the Northside. Your wandering for a new place to lay your head brings you to the nastiest part of the Southside - where the Ghoulies have secretly set up home. As they wave knives in your face and threaten to take your life, who will come to your rescue? Word Count: 3.2K+ | Rated: T

- the both of you: Request is - “Pregnancy!fic + Anger Born of Worry” Summary: You have a big secret you need to tell your Serpent husband, but will you be able to when he doesn’t come home one night? A call from FP brings you to Riverdale General, where the love of your life lays battered and bruised. Word Count: 2.3K+ | Rated: T

- i’ll always be with you: Request is - “Baby!fic + Fake Dating” Summary: After the father of your child left, the only constant that remains in your life is Sweet Pea. Over the years, he helps you when you need a hand planning your daughters birthday party, but it’s not uncommon to be mistaken for a couple. Sweet Pea just rolls with it. Word Count: 2.1K+ | Rated: T

- despite it all i loved you anyway: Request is - “Arranged Marriage!AU + Love Confessor Trope” Summary: You are betrothed to Prince Sweetwater. Of course, you believe he’s just like all the others - only here for your hand in marriage to take over your kingdom and call it his own. However, during your courtship leading up to the wedding, your forced courtship turns into something more. Word Count: 5.5K+ | Rated: T

B U C K Y     B A R N E S

- Dissension: Summary: You and Bucky hate each other. But you know what they say - everything changes when you’re dead. MULTICHAPTER | BUCKY X READER

- Slowly, And Then All At Once: Prompts are - “I shouldn’t be in love with you!” and “I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.” Summary: You’re the nanny of a successful single father. All of a sudden, you can’t imagine living life without him and his daughter. Word Count: 2.2K | Rated: T+ (language, sexual allusions)

- Gunpowder & Silk: Prompt is - “I’m the tailor who always makes/hems your nice clothes but I don’t know you’re the head of the mob so why are the police barging into my shop?” Summary: Riley runs a tailoring shop. Mr. Barnes runs the mob. MULTICHAPTER | OC

- Denial: Prompts are - “Just admit I’m right.” and “How many fingers am I holding up?” Summary: Bucky is your sparring partner and you’ve taken one too many hits with the metal arm. Word Count: 900+ | Rated: K

- Incidental: Prompts are - “I know it’s three in the morning, but I can’t find my cat.” and “Every time I see you, I fall in love with you all over again.” Summary: The five times Bucky had to make an excuse, and the one time he didn’t. Word Count: 9,000+ | Rated: T+ (language)

- Broken: Prompt is - “Ignore me, I didn’t see anything.” Summary: You’re complaining, Bucky is listening. Word Count: 800+ | Rated: T+ (alcohol, death mention)

- Not Quick Enough: Prompt is - “Almost Kiss + Anger Born of Worry” (BuckyNat) Summary: The one time Natasha wasn’t paying attention, it almost costs him his life. Word Count: 1,000+ | Rated: T

- Nepenthe:  Summary: Soulmates weren’t real, the Soldier had decided. But, if they were, his was going to be very disappointed. Word Count: 1,800+ | Rated: T+ (violence, language, alcohol) MULTICHAPTER | BUCKY X READER

- Unfair: Prompt is - “You want to know what happened to me? You! You happened to me.” Summary: You’re sick and tired of Bucky’s suicide missions. You decide to call him out on it. Word Count: 1,000+ | Rated: T (language)

- I’ll Take Care of You: Summary: You’ve always been overly attentive to Bucky. You overhear him complaining about you one night so you decide to take a step back. Turns out he actually misses you. Word Count: 2.3K | Rated: T

- Confessions: Prompts are - “The door is over there.” and “I don’t believe you.” Summary: Bucky has loved you for a long time, but for some reason you won’t believe him. Word Count: 1,200+ | Rated: T+ (language)

- Blessings: Summary: You’re going to get a raise, but Bucky doesn’t like how you got it. Even so, a beautiful thing comes of it. Word Count: 2,500+ | Rated: T+ (language, sexual references, alcohol)

- Reinvented:  Summary: You and Bucky attend a summer concert, and he asks you to dance. Word Count: 1,400+ | Rated: T

- Ice Water: Summary: Bucky is stubborn and so are you. Word Count: 1,300+ | Rated: T+ (language, emotion)

- I Offer You a Lifetime: Prompt is - “I have loved you my entire life.” Summary: You and Bucky have known one another for a century.  Word Count: 1,500+ | Rated: T+ (sexual allusions)

- Absent: Prompts are - “Please....stay...” and “If you really love me, you’ll let me go...” Summary: Bucky goes on a mission. You don’t think he’s coming back. Word Count: 2,300+ | Rated: T+ (language, violence)

- Battle Armor:  Summary: You’re all alone on top of the roof of the Tower, and an unexpected visitor joins you. Word Count: 1,600+ | Rated: K+

- Free Falling: Prompt is - “I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people per cart and now we’re stuck at the top.” Word Count: 1,400+ | Rated: K

- Void: Prompts are - “Where were you when I needed you?” and “It’s time to say goodbye.” Summary: This conversation between you and Bucky is difficult, but it had to happen. Word Count: 1,400+ | Rated: T+ (alcohol, language)

- Teeth:  Summary: You don’t smile. Until there’s one exception. Word Count: 800+ | Rated: T+ 

- Winter Winner: Prompts are - “I came here to win you back and dammit, I’ll do whatever I have to do.” and “What are you doing here?” Summary: Bucky doesn’t like the way he feels when he sees you with someone else. Word Count: 1,100+ | Rated: T+ (sexual implications)

- All Mine: Summary: Bucky has a tendency to get jealous.  Word Count: 1,800+ | Rated: T+ (language, sexual references)

- Undeserving:  Summary: Steve tells Bucky that he should just go after you, but Bucky isn’t so sure. Word Count: 1,400+ | Rated: T

- Worthy:  Summary: Bucky is always questioning why there is a random hammer lying about during their “family meetings” in the Tower. Word Count: 500+ | Rated: K

- History in the Making:  Summary: Bucky puts his years of history to good use by helping you with your homework. Word Count: 1,000+ | Rated: K

- Get Bent: Prompt is to use the phrase “Get bent.” Summary: Mario Kart can be vicious. Word Count: 400+ | Rated: K

D E C K E R S T A R

- i belong to the devil: Prompts are - “Huddling for Warmth + Established Relationship” Summary: Chloe becomes much more gutsy the moment she finds out she has The Devil on her side. Word Count: 656 | Rated: T

- demons in the night: Prompts are - “Erotic Dream + Sleep Intimacy” Summary: Chloe isn’t used to sleeping with The Devil. At least, not yet. Word Count: 656 | Rated: T

P E T E R     P A R K E R

- Self-Destruct: Prompts are - “I’m not alright! Okay? Are you satisfied? I’m not alright.” and “The problem is I don’t think I can stop thinking about you.” and “Pretending not to love you was the hardest thing I ever had to do.” and “You saved me from myself.” Summary: Peter is suddenly absent from your life, and you’re not sure you can handle it any longer. Word Count: 1,200+ | Rated: T+ (violence, blood)

- Doctor Darling: Prompt is - “You’re bleeding all over my carpet!” Summary: This isn’t exactly how you thought you’d find out that your boyfriend was the webslinger that New York couldn’t stop talking about. Word Count: 1,500+ | Rated: T+ (blood, language)

- Why?: Prompt is - “Why are you like this?” Summary: You’re not sure why it has to be Peter that is always sacrificing for the greater good, for the world. You don’t know if you can take it anymore. Word Count: 250+ | Rated: K

- I’m New to This: Prompt is - “So you hate me now too? Join the club.” Summary: You’re not sure how, but you’re pretty sure you’re jealous of Tony Stark. Word Count: 1,000+ | Rated: T

- Webslinger: Prompt is - “See, now was that so bad?” Summary: You take a ride with the webslinger of New York. Word Count: 500+ | Rated: K

K A S T L E

- by your side now and forever: Prompt is - “Hospital!AU + Secret Relationship” Summary: Karen is tired of playing sidekick. Word Count: 900 | Rated: T

- i found my savior in a bar: Prompt is - “Fake Dating + Holiday!fic” Summary: Karen is being stalked by one of her exes, and she picks the protective looking guy at the bar to be her savior. Word Count: 800+ | Rated: T

T O M    H O L L A N D

- Daddy Issues:  Summary: Tom through the stages of becoming a dad. Word Count: 500+ | Rated: K

- Oh My Darling: Summary: Tom really does love calling you ‘darling’. Word Count: 1,000+ | Rated: T (sexual innuendos)

- Please?: Prompt is - “I need you to forgive me.” Summary: Monopoly is a relationship ruiner. Word Count: 150+ | Rated: K

L A N G D Y N E

-  perfect timing: Prompt is - “Coffee Shop!AU + Mutual Pining Trope” Summary: Two people with matching schedules end up bumping into one another in the coffee shop. Word Count: 1,000+ | Rated: K

-  warm in the snow: Prompt is - “Secret Relationship + Royal!AU” Summary: Hope loves the snow. She also loves the servant boy. Word Count: 700+ | Rated: T+

-  i will save you from yourself: Prompt is - “Historical!AU + Bodyguard!fic” Summary: Ser Van Dyne is in charge of keeping Prince Lang out of trouble. Word Count: 500+ | Rated: K

B E L L A R K E

- RECOLLECTION: Prompt: “I don’t remember that!” Word Count: 250+ | Rated: K

- Silent Love: Prompts: “You’re special to me.” and “I can’t stand the thought of losing you.” Word Count: 500+ | Rated: K

- my skin burns: Prompts: “Soulmate!AU + Royalty!AU” Summary: Clarke is betrothed to a man she does not know. So what becomes of the relationship when she realizes he may very well be her soulmate?  Word Count: 700+ | Rated: T

- keep my secret safe: Prompts: “Detective!AU + Criminal!AU” Summary: When Detective Blake shows up to the scene, a certain blonde is cleaning her knife and restocking her gun. It’s another chance to put her where she belongs. Word Count: 500+ | Rated: T+

R E Y L O 

- unexpected allergens: Prompts: “Flowershop!AU + Hospital!AU” Summary: When a stranger falls unconscious in Rey’s flower shop, she thinks it is her responsibility to make sure he gets to a hospital safely. Word Count: 600+ | Rated: K

[queencryo]

@silly-go-round is asleep right now.

i guess i should make a journal for the past few days. as good a time as any. as AMY. heh. cuz shes super good and amazing. heh.

uh...... lessee.... for the two days after the last journal i just. hung out at the house while silly worked. i managed to not keep her in bed and make her late the second day. hung out a lot, watched more adventure time, worked on my tumblr filter script (lie. i judt ran it on my main. 200 posts / day is a bitchhhh) , played a good amount of ds3 (to pointof tetris effect at a couple points the nexg few days)

also did some like. helpful tasks. washed some dishes (undone quicklu, but. eh). not enough, mot as much as i shouldve, but... i tried i guess.

alao we've like. said the same thing at the dame time a Lot while ive been here and its like. nice. its really nice. same wavelength! i feel so close go her.

oh! alxo night before last we went grocery shoping. got food for prolly enoygh for the two weeks, but i guess we'll see. also a cheesecake! it was.... echausting. hily fuck it was exhaysting. jesus. the store was big and it took like 3 hours and $200 to get everything but. we did itttt.

we both mentionef that like. it felt nice to like. have a full fridge 2gether. cuz. it feels like were gonna have a futjre togetjer? u know. like that is. i love her a lot and it feels good for this to feel like a home for a little while. we hope that it can be so in tbe future.

so YESTERDAY she finally FINALLY taught me how to play magic the gathering. it was. a long time coming. but she brought me into the store and like. sat me down w some regulars and had me play commander. i played moooostly her snake deck, so like.that was fun!! i kept talki g about how i woulda gotten lorescale Coatl up to 39/39 and flying, had i like. gotten q more turn. but on that game D was running a mill deck that was. extremely long to play (that game took like ~>2 hours ugh), and was very bery annoying, so i didnt get to actually do that.

but it was fun! part of me wants to blog everything, but i dont think i will.

im glad to be able to use silly's decks, bc i dont think i want to make my own. im considering making a cheap angel deck or smth, but we'll see if yhat actually ends up happening.

i also met her girlfriend Iz, who is sweet. i played magic w her fkr a while, which was fun! she was runni g an annoying mono black deck (i kkow all these... these Terms and Words now, its incredible...)

shes sweet and i think i like her. dunno if enough to date yet (which makes me Partially regret flirting w her so much in the groupchat but. hey)

talked w her some, mostly about magic, hung out while silly closed the store, pet her cat, silly discovered that cyddling w TWO girlfriends is very nice (not rhat id know ;;;;;;;), was good times. i dont think im as comfy w izzy physically yet as i may have implied in messages, which hopefully wull be rectified by the message i just sent her (my initial physical comfort with people varies, it depends very much on the person)

skip forward, me and silly make a pizza at home cuz were fuckin tired, she admonishes me for not eating for uh... like 11 hours or smth (that mornings bagel was VERY good tho omg), but adderall, so like... meh.

uh... i dont think anything else on yesterday...

today! we waaamted to go to the store at like. 2. but in actuality got there at like! 330.

i went back to sleep cuz im a losenerd, and she. made this breakfast casserole thing. which hse put into a bagel abd brought to me bc i guess shes the best person on the entire earth oh my GOD. jesus

skip... apparently she knows maximum the hormone and doesnt like them very much... fair fair. (cause for xeath)

came to the store agai. tofay. it was fun and good. iz didnt come in today, do played some more with regulars. played w what is apparently called a blink deck, which revolvea arounf exiling cards then immediately bringing them back, to capitalize on "when this enters battlefield, do smth" cards. neat!

i DID actually manage to win today!!! the victory was. literally handed to me, but like. thats fine! i was playing silly's uhhh... elintor the masked? idr her name :( the mask planewalker! deck, which. i had SO much land, most of wh8ch was enchanfed. meaning it could be tapped then untapped w eljntor's thing, then tapped again for DOUBLE MANA. i mean. i had like 9/turn even b4 that but. BUT. i also had. i think i drew 3 creatures total. bit anyway. i had the white card that gave me a life whenever a creature was put on tge board (and also, w another enchantment, made all non-me creagurss and enchantments enter the board tapped, so. nya). so... rob had a card what dealt one damGe to all other players whenevr he puta. creature on the board. then he played united forces, which lets each player commit X mana to create X 1/1 soldier tokens on all players' boards. so. we made 28 white soldier tokens on everyones board. this killed perry, ans gave me, uh. 56 life (84 - 28). i then attacked ron for 28 w the soldiers, and drew sacred mesa, which lets me sacrifice 2 mana (1 any color, 1 white, but i had so many cards that said "this land can instead be tapped for 2 of any color, so like. ueah) to create a 1/1 flying pegasus token. so i. ended the game w 44 white 1/1 tokens. goblins get fucked.attack w my ssoldiers cuz his were tapped, so brought him down to 7 life. i didng catch what he did w the enchantment, but i think he said he like. put a copy of every creature on my side of the board onto his board, and then. cipying that enchantment 3 times. so. holy FUCK. wow. BUT those all came in tapped and i had 18 flying yokens, so. i still won! yay!!!! i won a game of magic!!!!!

goblin decks scare me. stop running krenko you fucks. exponential goblins goddamn

silly would come by every so often and like. look over my dhoulder and say "oh that was dumb whyd u use fabricate for thay" which is fair. but also god i love her. (i used fabricate for a mana generator insteaf of lightning greaves. whateverrrr) i love her so much dear god. i wish i coukd help w the store more, but. on the same time i also. dont enjoy working. so. maybe part time.

hm. what ekse. oh yeah i kove her so much.

by the end of the night it was just. me and her, rob and the two regulars i started out llaying w yestwrday. theyre sweet, i like them. theyre married. the dude calls me honey smtimes, which is. kinda weird? dunno how i feel about that. i guess fine. its gender-nice, but still a lil uncomfy. otherwise i like em fien, though. but they talked abouy moving into sillys apt. so thats cool!! better than her current (awful, terrible, lazy / horrifically depressed / manchild roomate, who doesnt clean ever) roomate. i was reading the monster of the week gamebook thruout, which i... bought, for some reason. idk. oh also i wanna make a fallen angel divine, because im... predictableeee. also a conspiracy thworist whos just a trans woman w way too much time and really weird hobbies (throwing knices, butterfly knife, net friends, etc). also a spooky. i speny like. 3 hours reading thr7 the monster of the week book while ppl played magic around me. i kinda wish i hadnt bought it, but hey! its neat c:

oh, also i didnt take adderall today. i dont think it went toooo bad, i think i like. was meaner and less thohghtful with what i said, but like. i guess thats better than feared. i took a caffeine pill (200mg) at ariund 10 which is. prolly why im wide awake right now. i regret doing that, sincr from what shes said tmos gonna be big)

she says we gotta be at her moms by 4, for reasons she WONT TELL ME. bit she says its part of one of her plans, i ASSUME the romantic one? im kind of afraid that ill like. no-sell it unwillingly because im abroke and soulless human being, but uh. i guess rhats thw risks we take to be alive :shrug: im excited. were also going to a shop (diff one) tmo, which im Quite excited for, as ive only been in similar shops by accident before. also doing laundry!!! which is important ^_^

oh ysah. so we got white castle on the way home. its. yeah she was r8ght. mediocre-at-best sliders. onions are bad.

we also made a pizza. whifh i ate most of. i overate. sob.

she fell asleep halfway thry an episode of nailed it. cant blame her, she seemed really tired. i hipe i dont disturb her rwst. and i feel so utterly blessed thay i can be around her.

ih!! i also fell down the last few staies ywstersay. bruised my arms, but otherwise fine. it was. idk, it is nice to knoe that others worry fir me and like me. she was very concerned. i love her.

[aftgficlibrary]

Post-Canon

Here is a list of fics set after the books so we can live on even after the series ends (Note: due to the sheer amount of Post-Canon fics, this only includes completed fics and is an extremely long list)

light fires at night (to push back the void) by inthesea (M | 61,862 | 3/3)

The first time Andrew realizes he wants to hear the words, Neil isn’t even doing anything. He’s just sitting there, staring at the horizon with that stupidly dramatic faraway expression of his, and letting the cigarette burn down between his fingers all the way to the filter — an outrageous waste of good nicotine, if you asked Andrew.

(Or: 20+ times Andrew and Neil say I love you, and one time they say it out loud.)

Trust Fall (And Welcoming Arms) by SpangleBangle (E | 84,557 | 13/13)

Life goes on after the Foxes win the championship, and for Andrew and Neil it’s uncharted territory with only each other for guides. Maybe it’s time to put away some of those hard edges, and learn how to touch more softly, and speak more honestly. And if they falter, they have their family to help them get back on their feet.

right side of rock bottom by allyasavedtheday (M | 20,019 | 1/1)

Neil thinks it might be the first time he’s taken a breath in days.

He hadn’t realised it because he’d been so caught up in packing and saying goodbye to everyone but now that it’s over he remembers his self-imposed countdown was meant to be up by now. It’s the end of the school year and five months ago, he thought he’d be dead by now.

Instead he has a team and a future and a home and Andrew.

(The last two might be interchangeable.)

*

A little look into Neil and Andrew’s relationship after The King’s Men where they learn to touch, to talk and to trust.

The Name Game by minyrrds (G | 3,042 | 1/1)

What happens when Andrew and Neil change the names on their jerseys

something like home by nightswatch (T | 5,197 | 1/1)

Andrew keeps showing up at Neil’s apartment. But that’s what he gave him the key for, isn’t it?

lessons in trust by nightswatch (T | 3,609 | 1/1)

They don’t talk about what exactly they are, but Neil is more and more convinced that they’re on a good way to becoming something.

raze it to the ground by ilgaksu for badacts (T | 4,511 | 1/1)

It stops being about Neil entirely, and it starts being about this: Andrew is really, really fucking tired.

sugar, spice, and something nice by ephemeralsky (T | 6,258 | 1/1)

Andrew appears by his side seconds later, takes one look at the charred disaster, and says, “At least you did not burn the Tower down.”

Neil sighs. Happy birthday, he thinks mockingly as he chucks the brownie into the garbage bin.

(or: Neil finds a new hobby and indulges his family with sweets, Andrew indulges Neil, and they both can’t stop staring at each other)

a love song for the cliffhanger boys by ilgaksu for clockworkmoon (T | 1,680 | 1/1)

Some days, you work with what you got. 

thorn in my skin by ephemeralsky (T | 5,861 | 1/1)

These days, both of them are able to sleep on the same bed without any weapons underneath their pillows and on their person, and Andrew is not sure what he wants to do with this knowledge. They have poured years into forging their armors, and now they are stripping them, piece by tattered piece.

(or: the five weapons Neil has at his disposal + the one weapon he wields without knowing it)

/Graphic Depictions Of Violence

next stop: nowhere by nightswatch (M | 8,117 | 1/1)

Neil and Andrew have a week to themselves and decide to hit the road.

i’ll carry you home by broship_addict (E | 4,257 | 1/1)

“I thought we agreed that you were getting rid of it. Not coming back with two.”

“We agreed that I would take the cat to the shelter. I did.”

Or, Andrew and Neil and their cats, in seven parts.

above us only stars by nightswatch (T |  2,206 | 1/1)

Neil wants to say that he is fine. He wants to say that Nathaniel Wesninski doesn’t own a single part of him.

The Days That Followed by lipsstainedbloodred (E | 7,410 | 1/1)

Andrew’s hand moved up further to Neil’s ruined cheek and he held a hand over it briefly. “These are not ugly,” Andrew said, forcing Neil to look up and face himself directly in the mirror, “You will not be ashamed of these. You will not shy away from your reflection because of them. These are not ugly.”

or, the fic where Neil is self conscious of his scars and Andrew forces him not to be.

Hold It Together (Until You Can’t) by Joana789 (M | 5,560 | 1/1)

Andrew holds his gaze just for a second longer before turning away, and Neil breathes in, because even if Andrew Minyard, with his extraordinary memory, remembers the date — which is likely, Neil knows — he gives no sign of it.

Neil thinks that perhaps it is carved into his memory only.

or

Exactly a year after Baltimore, Neil doesn’t expect to feel like this.

Kisses on Scars by rememberednoah (G | 1,941 | 1/1)

In which Andrew decides to kiss all of Neil’s scars. In which Neil isn’t quite sure how to react and feel about this.

Josten Has A Neck Fetish by keihtkogane (T | 2,301 | 1/1)

An full length ficlet extension of my tumblr headcanon which ends with Andrew revealing Neil has a neck fetish on live television.

–

Written for the anon who asked: omfg can i pleASE get an extension of the last part of your andreil and subtle touches headcanon? the part where andrew’s like “josten has a fucking neck fetish”

Every Choice Leads To You by SpangleBangle (G | 2,809 | 1/1)

Andrew knew they had to get up at some point, if only for the bathroom, but was loathe to hurry the moment along. He would take every greedy minute of Neil snug in his bed, for as long as he could. It was the choice he’d made years before, and the one he made every day when he saw Neil’s ‘good morning’ smile. He had a feeling it was a choice he’d be making for many years to come. And while that thought should be terrifying, with Neil sweet and content in his arms, fear was far away.

All Hail the Underdogs by wildfrancium (T | 25,411 | 10/10)

Ten years after Neil Josten becomes Neil Josten, life is full of Exy and Andrew. And then they decide to try fostering a kid.

Late Night, Welcome Home by ThePackWantstheD (T | 1,160 | 1/1)

“I thought Andrew shredded those pants,” Kevin answered.

Neil’s lips quirked further up. “Wymack got me another pair.”

“What did I do to deserve this kind of punishment?” Kevin asked. “You’re the problem child.”

Fighting Heavy Shoulders by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,718 | 1/1)

He would stick a knife in the throat of anyone who tried to make him admit it, but Andrew was actually a little concerned about Neil running this race. From what he can tell, this can go one of two ways. Option one: Neil would be reasonable and just survive the race. Run at a sensible pace, make it across the finish line alive, and keep his mouth shut the next time some asshole reporter starts harassing him. Option two: Neil, because he is Neil, would try way too hard to keep up with the people who actually put in a lot of time training for these things. He would pull a muscle or pass out on the course, and Andrew would have to drag his ass to the nearest hospital, which would really throw a wrench in Andrew’s weekend plans of doing absolutely nothing. Not even to mention the absolute hissy fit Kevin would throw if Neil were injured. If Andrew were a betting man, his money would go to option two.

—

Wymack follows through on his threats, and Andrew is a protective asshole in love.

built this house on memories by modernpatroclus (T | 4,138 | 3/3)

Prompt: OMG when i was reading ur last andreil fic i started thinking “okay but what if neil woke up and didNT REMEMBER ANDREW” CAN U MAKE THIS HAPPEN I WILL PAY U

Or: Neil gets amnesia and can’t remember anything past the night he was drugged in Columbia.

Something Borrowed by Pi (Rhea) (T | 7,266 | 1/1)

After graduation, Neil and Andrew go on a road trip to return particular items to Neil’s mother’s contacts.

Or: two times Neil visited the Henrietta, Virginia.

Perfect by SpangleBangle (G | 1,547 | 1/1)

Ten years on, and things are just perfect.

But Broken Pieces Make Beautiful Mosaics by lipsstainedbloodred (T | 1,926 | 1/1)

Neil Josten is a broken, damaged thing. Pieces of a tattered personality and a traumatized mind, scared and skittish with one foot always out the door. And on Nathaniel Wesninski’s birthday, he runs.

Pillow Talk by zayndehaan for ohwhatanight (M | 3,826 | 1/1)

Neil finds a new fear, and doesn’t know how to bring it up without sounding foolish.

(a.k.a. lots of snuggling and banter and feelings)

Take Another Drag by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,233 | 1/1)

Andrew knows exactly who Travis is. Travis William Patterson, 27 years old, 6’3” backliner from middle of nowhere, Texas, current starter for the Boston Hurricanes, #9. As a matter of fact, Andrew is looking at him right now. ESPN is showing Exy highlights from last weekend, and Neil’s team just happens to be up at this very moment.

The Neil on screen has just performed some ridiculous move that absolutely should not have ended with a goal but somehow did, and he is immediately met with high-fives from his teammates and an affectionate-looking hug from Travis. Andrew can most certainly be objective, and this exchange looks pretty platonic. But Andrew is also a man attracted to men, and he has to admit that Travis is good looking. Really good looking.

-

Neil seems to be spending a lot of time with his new friend, and Andrew is Not Jealous.

dreamed in red by Frostandcoal (M | 7,261 | 1/1)

Four times the nightmares don’t win, and one time they almost do. Post-canon.

Minyard-Josten: A Rivalry For The Ages by dustbottle (M | 4,203 | 1/1)

After four years of playing together at Palmetto State University, Neil and Andrew end up on different professional teams. Neil is the new striker for the Atlanta Hawks; Andrew is goalie for the Boston Rebels. This is the story of their so-called rivalry.

Three guesses as to who starts the rumours.

(Spoilers: It’s Neil.)

Inside the Outsider by ouroboros for finkpishnets (M | 2,215 | 1/1)

It is little things like that that make this okay. Small rules, steps to follow: Pants staying buttoned, Neil’s hands where he can see them, no words but “Yes or no.” And, now, door locked. Check.

(Andrew looks back on the first time he does more than kiss Neil)

uncurling lifelines by Frostandcoal (M | 3,202 | 1/1)

That Andrew likes Neil being vocal in bed – that’s a key, and Neil intends to use it. This is something that Neil can give Andrew, a thing Andrew likes, that doesn’t involve touching or crossing boundaries Andrew is not yet ready for Neil to cross.

Besides, if Neil is good at anything besides Exy, it’s running his mouth.

Or: Neil learns that Andrew “I’m An Instigator At Heart And So Are You” Minyard might just like hearing Neil express not only his consent, but his enthusiasm, when they’re in bed.

back and forth by broship_addict (T | 2,573 | 1/1)

Years later Andrew and Neil find themselves revisiting Palmetto. It’s a lot more fun than Andrew’s ready to admit.

Lost Boy by the_ocean_burned (M | 6,401 | 1/1)

A look through Andrew’s eyes during some of the major events in the series.

Since I did use scenes and quotes from the series, I’m going to put a disclaimer on this one: All copyright rights to the characters, dialogue, and canon events belong solely to Nora Sakavic. I don’t own any of it; please don’t sue me. I’m broke.

The Self I Am by dustbottle (E | 5,536 | 1/1)

Though Neil and Andrew have been on the same professional team for years, the Minyard-Josten rivalry is still going strong. No one has caught wind of the truth of their relationship – but maybe it’s time for that to change.

(Or: Neil and Andrew decide to come out. This is how it happens.)

late night by Frostandcoal (G | 2,355 | 1/1)

People think that Exy “saved” him, but they are wrong. Exy is not a savior – there are no saviors for people like Andrew.

In which Andrew Minyard decides to pay it forward thanks to an all-night bodega, terrible ice cream choices and a cashier who just happens to play collegiate Exy.

out of breath by Frostandcoal for tycutiovevo (G | 3,418 | 1/1)

For tycutiovevo, who wanted Andreil in cold!weather, no angst. I hope you like this, bb! <3! <3!

Neil wants to live his life like he plays Exy – he wants the freedom to take chances, he wants the thrill of last-second goals, he wants the exhilaration of pushing his body to its limits, wants the ache and burn of every single bruise and scrape. His body is marked by other people’s cruelty and other people’s choices made on his behalf – he wants to cover it with the marks of the life he chose for himself.

Neil doesn’t understand what a “blizzard” is, and thinks it’s a good idea to go running in one. Andrew is not impressed.

Delayed Reaction by run_for_me (T | 3,035 | 1/1)

It’s been so long since he’s felt anything but affection for Nicky that he’d almost forgotten there was time when he’d been viscerally and intensely afraid of him.

*

In which the events of Neil’s first visit to Eden’s Twilight are finally addressed a year later.

I Want to Hold Your Hand by conniptionns (T | 5,009 | 4/4)

If this was Allison and Renee it would be cute and fluffy and very Across the Universe for this song, but it’s Andrew and Neil so

until the end of the world by broship_addict (T | 2,731 | 1/1)

Twenty years, two cats, and a whole lot of sports-related injuries later, they’re still home.

light it up by broship_addict (T | 1,879 | 1/1)

Neil Josten is probably the only person in the world capable of getting Andrew into an ugly Christmas sweater.

missing you (is all i am) by dustbottle (T | 2,677 | 1/1)

After graduating college, Andrew starts his professional Exy career as goalie for the Boston Rebels. Meanwhile, Neil is in his fifth and final year at Palmetto State University. Being apart turns out to be harder than either of them expected, and adjusting is a struggle.

When Neil visits Andrew in Boston, things come to a head.

maybe just the touch of a hand by niallszayn (G | 1,822 | 1/1)

All the Foxes come to Nicky and Erik’s wedding. Bets are made, and no one ever understands Andrew and Neil’s relationship.

Careless by Poteto (G | 1,474 | 1/1)

Matt likes to think Neil is done saying things that will get himself killed. Andrew disagrees.

way i tend to be by Frostandcoal (G | 1,665 | 1/1)

For erinaceinae-lutrinae on tumblr, who gave me the following prompt:

“Someone on Neil’s pro-team decides his nickname should be junior, and Neil does not take it well.”

Blossom Under Kindness by dustbottle (E | 3,433 | 1/1)

After Neil’s first year as a professional Exy player, Andrew and Neil spend their summer together in Columbia. There are good days and bad days. Today is a good day.

take my breath away (you know i’m bound to choke) by essenceofheroism (Not Rated | 1,620 | 1/1)

or the one in which andrew dreams neil runs away.

We Can Be Soft by SpookyMiscreant (M | 20,229 | 13/13)

Andreil and their daily lives. Fun ensues as always. Some of my HCs and some HCs from Tumblr. This has no plot or timeline please forgive me.

of being happy by artemis_west (E | 4,774 | 1/1)

On his flight home, Neil could barely sit still. He kept going back to his phone and staring at the message on his screen, the last one he’d received from Andrew:

I’ll be there.

Sounds Like a Good Excuse for Coming Home by OrdinaryVegan

Andrew is stressed, and Neil is problematic. Long-distance can be rather inconvenient, especially when your not-boyfriend is a murder magnet.

Summer Showers by Previously8 (T | 1,852 | 1/1)

Includes, but is not limited to: lots of staring, one (1) mention of chia seeds, Neil Josten’s new phone, the colours blue, green, and orange, talk of walls, a visit to Home Depot, and "452%”.

Rated T for swearing.

billboard. by lolainslackss (T | 2,940 | 1/1)

“Even when I turn away I can’t unsee it,” Aaron continued, his back to the rest of them, “It’s disgusting.”

…

Neil follows Kevin’s advice and agrees to be part of an ad campaign for Exy shoes. This ends up with Neil’s face on an eight-hundred-foot-wide moving billboard, and he’s not at all sure what to make of it. Neither is everyone else. Especially when Andrew notices everything.

Right Here in the Light by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,398 | 1/1)

It takes all of his willpower not to physically react from shock when he finds Piper curled up tightly on Andrew’s chest, King tucked behind the bend in her knees. His surprise is two-fold. First, he can’t believe he slept through another person being added into their bed. And second, he can’t believe that Andrew is actually asleep in his current position. His arm is wrapped tightly around Piper’s shoulders, the entirety of her small upper body resting on his chest. Neil can do nothing but stare in awe at the pair of them. He thinks of how far they’ve all come, each of them with their own unique struggles, and his sentimentality nearly gets the better of him.

“Staring,” comes Andrew’s low voice, disguised by disuse. All these years, and Neil still doesn’t know how he does that. His eyes aren’t even open. Ridiculous.

A few members of the domestic Andreil household find themselves awake in the middle of the night. In other words, Andrew Minyard is the best father in the universe, and no one will convince me otherwise.

this calls for a toast by Frostandcoal (G | 1,872 | 1/1)

Three years ago, Andrew Minyard threatened to kill her if she ever spoke to him. She hasn’t, but only because she’s had nothing to say.

Until today.

It’s Katelyn’s wedding day, and she’s got a little something to clear up with her brand-new brother-in-law.

As the Fire Spread by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,022 | 1/1)

Neil’s weight beside him is now familiar and even a comfort, sometimes. But on the occasions when Andrew’s senses are on overdrive and the smallest movement feels like an avalanche, an earthquake, a fucking planetary realignment, Neil knows better than to take Andrew’s abandonment personally.

Neil’s hoodie is thrown over the back of his desk chair, so Andrew makes his way over to dig out the pack of cigarettes from the pocket. He thinks he could light it with just the fire on the edge of his tongue, but he grabs a lighter from the drawer just in case.

—

Neil wants to help. Andrew just wants to breathe without feeling like his lungs will go up in flames.

Weddings and Other Kinds of Vows bya_case_for_wonder (T | 12,328 | 1/1)

“Lord, Andrew, you’d think you hadn’t been dating the guy for half a decade!” Nicky said. “When is he going to ask you to marry him, of course!” Andrew had known it was coming, but it still felt like the world slowed down a little. The question hung in the air between them like an ugly spell, until Andrew shook himself enough to answer. “He’s not going to ask me.“

OR

Nicky is finally getting married, the third Fox wedding in as many years. Andrew is just trying to get through it, Neil is just trying to have a good time, but with all this love in the air, their friends keep insisting on asking questions they are Not Ready For. They try to work through it together.

Time is Standing Still by OrdinaryVegan (G | 1,441 | 1/1)

Andrew and Neil have a daughter, and she is an actual ray of sunshine.

Leave Me on the Tracks by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,092 | 1/1)

If this had happened a few years ago, Andrew would have stood by and watched him leave. No argument, no attempted persuasion. Because that’s what people do. They leave, or they treat you badly enough that you leave first. People are never worth the trouble.

But not this time. The past decade with Neil has made Andrew come to terms with the fact that this means something. Andrew is rather shocked to find that he believes he himself should be enough to make Neil stay. That he is worthy of it. That he wants Neil to stay, and he will be damned if he lets him go without a fight. Andrew is asking. And if that won’t make Neil stay, nothing will.

In which Neil tries to protect Andrew, and Andrew tells him to get over his hero complex.

Patch Your Wounds by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,290 | 1/1)

“Really, Neil,” Andrew drawls. He could have chosen to phrase it as a question, but Neil knows he isn’t surprised. It’s more of an acknowledgement of Neil’s apparent inability to remain injury-free. “You’ve been here for less than forty-five seconds, and you’re already bleeding on my carpet.”

—

In which Neil is a klutz, the cats are a nuisance, and Andrew is his own special brand of helpful.

I Want You To Know by kayxpc (G | 733 | 1/1)

one love, one house by freefall for cats-are-assholes (T | 2,592 | 1/1)

It’s the little things that make an apartment into a home, that make a sequence of moments into a life.

Or, five times Andrew hates that damn couch, and one time he thinks it isn’t so bad.

Missed This (Not as much as You) by kayxpc (E | 2,087 | 1/1)

Neil and Andrew finally get a weekend off of their professional teams and pickup exactly where they left off.

Hidden by kayxpc (G | 2,000 | 1/1)

His Father’s Eyes by maeusetod (Not Rated | 3,012 | 1/1)

Sometimes Neil had thought about, when and under which circumstances he would hear the name Nathaniel again, but he had not expected it to happen like this.

Shut Up, Baby by aftgandreil (arituzz) (E | 693 | 1/1)

“Can you not call me Josten when we are about to have sex?” Neil protests, tugging the hem of his shirt up and over his head.

“What do you want me to call you, then? Asshole?” Andrew says with a smirk on his face, already taking his boxers off.

“Fuck, no. Just–” The advances they’ve made so far have been amazing, Neil thinks, engraving the sight of his naked lover in his head. He can’t help biting his lower lip at the vision in front of him. They’ve come this far, which is more than Neil could have ever hoped for. He guesses it won’t hurt to try for a tinsy little bit more. Locking his eyes with Andrew’s, he says, “Call me baby.”

restless by wesninski for lorcathegreat (G | 2,121 | 1/1)

It’s an expression of restlessness, the kind of bout of spontaneous recklessness at which Neil has always excelled. A new city with new teammates and a new apartment and new stress, and Neil turns to Andrew one summer night, the smell of cigarette smoke mingling with the perfume of Andrew’s flowers on the balcony because they haven’t picked the lock to the roof yet, and says, “let’s get out of here.”

Or: Andrew and Neil go on a road trip and bring the cats along. They should have just found a cat sitter.

if things went differently by yuhee (T | 1,810 | 1/1)

The day Neil Josten disappeared on the Foxes, he had died in a fire incident along with his father and his men. Or so they said. Because Andrew now sees the man in flesh and bones at a city in England after two years.

this place is a shelter by Joana789 (T | 1,786 | 1/1)

”Well,” Andrew says, and the answer feels raw on his tongue. ”Someone has to make sure you don’t run again.”

ask me no questions (and i might not cuss you out) by WingsOfWax (T | 2,77 | 1/1)

Neil’s and Andrew’s relationship becomes public - without their permission. It’s annoying because now they have to actually deal with it. Neil gets more than a little rude when someone asks the wrong kind of question.

"Call me Marcus; he’s strong and noble.” by AroPeterWam (E | 6,899 | 1/1)

“Which one is Sir Fat Cat McCatterson? And why does he have a long name? I like the name King Fluffkins, but isn’t that too many noble titles for the cats?” Marcus, slowly coming out of his shell reached under the coffee table for one of the cats. – In which Neil and Andrew come across a boy who might not be like any of their stray cats.

wake your ghost by Frostandcoal (G | 2,741 | 1/1)

“Kevin’s been obsessed with Riko Moriyama his entire life. It’s going to take more than a bullet to stop that.”

The amount of mental energy Kevin has wasted on Riko is like a faucet, and Andrew has yet to see any definitive proof that Kevin’s ready to turn off the pipes.

In which Kevin has Complicated Feelings ™, Neil does not approve, and Andrew does not care. And Andreil!Banter, for it is like crack unto me, and I love them :|

Close & Closer by kayxpc (E | 1,290 | 1/1)

Andrew & Neil map another safe place out in their relationship

You & Me by kayxpc (E | 782 | 1/1)

A bottom Andrew fic because the fandom is in need of more and I couldn’t get it out of my head.

Here With You by kayxpc (G | 295 | 1/1)

Andrew and Neil sleep together after being apart for far too long

an acceptable surprise by kayxpc (G | 1,181 | 1/1)

permanent key//permanent home by kayxpc (T | 1,025 | 1/1)

Andrew visits Neil

She Was Found by OrdinaryVegan (T | 1,591 | 1/1)

"We’ve been over this and over this. We have looked at it from every possible angle. We agreed on this, that this is what we both want. You agreed to get over your daddy issues, and I agreed to actively ignore every parenting example I’ve ever had. Right?”

Neil nods his head once with a little too much force to be convincing. “Right.”

“Okay,” Andrew says, not really sure if it was loud enough for Neil to hear. He tightens his hand on Neil’s neck, pulling him closer until their foreheads are touching. Neil’s hand has made it up to hang off of his bicep, gripping like it’s the only thing keeping him on the ground. Andrew fights to keep his voice as even as possible. “Neil. You have to tell me that you’re in this all the way. This is permanent. Once we sign those papers, she is ours. Forever. I refuse to send her away. I will not be like them,” he says, fiercely. “Do you want this?”

AKA Piper: The Prequel

Sundays by celestia (G | 887 | 1/1)

A lazy sunday

something just like this by kayxpc (G | 566 | 1/1)

happy holidays from the foxes by artemis_westfor OneSweetMelody (G | 5,446 | 1/1)

This is my gift exchange for Jules, who wanted Fox family bonding during the holiday/post-grad! A fic set in the future after the books, when all the Foxes have their kids. They have a yearly reunion during the holidays! Soft andreil living their happy life, Andrew healing and having a better relationship with Aaron and Nicky, everyone is happy and sappy. Merry Christmas!

Always by merlypops for badtemperblue (G | 583 | 1/1)

“Am I annoying you?” “You always do,” Andrew said, cradling Neil’s cheek gently before he shoved his face away again. “Always, Josten.” Neil’s heart squeezed in his chest with something that felt dangerously like happiness. He was glad that name was still alive. He was glad he was still around to hear it. He was glad Andrew wasn’t gone.

Neil and Andrew on a plane. Fluff ensues.

smile, smile, smile by mikeymomoo (G | 744 | 1/1)

andrew is getting groceries and a fan spots him. he fucks with him.

All We Ever Knew by OrdinaryVegan (G | 1,317 | 1/1)

Robin comes to Neil for life advice, and he is surprisingly helpful. 

Phone Calls by celestia (G | 3,339 | 1/1)

It’s Andrew’s birthday. Even though he and Neil don’t celebrate birthdays, Andrew always gets three phone calls on his birthday.

tell me pretty lies by kayxpc (G | 754 | 1/1)

Andrew and Neil apartment shop after Andrew graduates.

out & proud by kayxpc (G | 1,417 | 1/1)

Same sex marriage is finally legalized in Germany and the foxes come to support Nicky and Erik! Lots of love and happiness in this fic, angst who?

Eventually by writerforlife (T | 850 | 1/1)

Eventually, Andrew Minyard found his version of happiness.

Weddings in Germany by kayxpc (G | 978 | 1/1)

all the foxes visit Germany for Nicky and Eriks wedding! :) pure andreil fluff ahead

New Places by Q_Jem_Bee (M | 937 | 1/1)

That was the greatest thing about this, about them.

They had all the time in the world.

[Podfic] right side of rock bottom byfrecklebombfic (frecklebomb) for Fleur Rochard (fleurrochard) (M | 20 | 1/1)

Author’s summary: Neil thinks it might be the first time he’s taken a breath in days.

He hadn’t realised it because he’d been so caught up in packing and saying goodbye to everyone but now that it’s over he remembers his self-imposed countdown was meant to be up by now. It’s the end of the school year and five months ago, he thought he’d be dead by now.

Instead he has a team and a future and a home and Andrew.

(The last two might be interchangeable.)

Permanence by justapipe-dream (ginita105) (T | 702 | 1/1)

Neil wasn’t the reason for Andrew’s newfound stability, but he had been the eye opener. Neil had taught him that not all humans wanted to break the glass walls he built around himself, some had the decency to find the door and knock.

For the Vagabonds by OrdinaryVegan (T | 1,301 | 1/1)

Neil and Andrew versus the Maserati and the mountains.

Out by Q_Jem_Bee, shewhoisntnamed44 (G | 4,378 | 1/1)

Chris was lucky enough to have a co-worker who Neil Josten owed a favour to – and was about to launch her journalism career through the roof.

Beg and Borrow and Steal by OrdinaryVegan (T | 3,349 | 1/1)

Andrew and Neil are dragged into a school dance by their certified Sassmaster and Ray of Sunshine daughter.

pull me back by thetinyconstellation for lethargicawe (T | 2,032 | 1/1)

Neil has a bad day and his boyfriends do what they can to help. Well, if he lets them.

Children of the Universe by aceaaronminyard (necklace) (Not Rated | 1,630 | 1/1)

in which aaron and andrew figure their shit out with only a minimal amount of bruises

-

“If Aaron is being honest, Andrew looks like a spawn of Death herself; dark and weathered and just as lethal. Aaron smiles cruelly at the glare Andrew fixes him, and for the first time in months, feels galaxies explode in his lungs and make a home under his fingernails.”

mel i mató by R_Gunns (T | 1,934 | 1/1)

Being away from Andrew was harder than Neil had anticipated. Missing him was loud, thinking about him was like a cacophony of sounds, a discordant mess of sensory memories that Neil couldn’t make sense of.

(Neil’s final year at Palmetto is over, and he’ll be moving in with Andrew soon. In the meantime, he pines.)

home (is whenever i’m with you) by nightquills for apear55 (G | 2,067 | 1/1)

It’s been weeks since he saw Andrew last, and Neil can’t wait to finally see him in person, have him near, hear his voice without the tinny echo of a phone call between them.

Neverland is home to lost boys like me byjustapipe-dream (ginita105) (G | 627 | 1/1)

‘Oh, how lucky you are,’ it said, ‘Two lost boys found their Neverland in each other.’

proper punishment for an angel by artemis_west (E | 5,912 | 1/1)

Neil’s mouth gets him in trouble. What else is new?

In which… by Nikotheamazingspoonklepto (Not Rated | 22,238 | 1/1)

…the Foxes get the love they deserve. ~ This fic is a story of growth, character development, and happiness, where Neil loves his Fox family in varying degrees, ranging from platonic to romantic or sexually. Beginning at the start of Neil’s Sophomore year at PSU, he is becoming more confident, self-assured, and a happy person, supported by his original Fox family and learning how to be a leader toward the six Freshman that arrived at PSU.

Ice Cream by kayxpc (E | 944 | 1/1)

Nora’s tweets have inspired andreil smut. It’s what they deserve.

[Podfic] The Name Game by frecklebombfic (frecklebomb) for Fleur Rochard (fleurrochard) (G | 18 | 1\1)

Author’s summary: What happens when Andrew and Neil change the names on their jerseys.

Independence Day by imagined_melody (G | 1,054 | 1/1)

Neil Josten graduates from Palmetto State University on May 12—five years to the day after he arrived.

In which a life transition falls on an important date, and Neil deals with the prospect of his life changing again.

To heal a wound, you need to stop touching it bywesninskids (Not Rated | 2,203 | 1/1)

Some nights, Kevin Day jerks awake with the weight of his past. These nights, Neil’s there to pull him back to the present.

Sunday Mornings by cleopatras (T | 1,178 | 1/1)

how Neil and Andrew spend a Sunday morning in their home in San Clemente

three keys by lovelyloss (T | 516 | 1/1)

andrew thinks about the three keys neil and him share. [my descriptions are bad whoops]

Another Lonely Christmas by SpookyMiscreant (G | 1,112 | 1/1)

This is a gift for ten-paces-fire for the aftg winter exchange! Kevin is stuck playing Exy overseas instead of in Columbia with his family for christmas.

this is it by morticianists (T | 207 | 1/1)

the future isn’t as bleak as it used to be.

Neil is forbidden to have a relationship with Andrew by his new contract by Vinjana (G | 586 | 1/1)

Neil, who joined Andrew’s team, doesn’t read his contracts…

a haze of fleeting moments by luna_lovegood (G | 2,666 | 1/1)

Renee looked at her as she sat up on the couch and undid her braid, eyes bright and lips stained red. “Alright,” Renee agreed. “That sounds like fun. Do you have any nail polish?”

“Chanel or Essie?” Allison shot back and smirked.

(Or, five moments Renee spent with people she cared about.)

“Why did you name it Burrito?’ by AroPeterWam (Not Rated | 6,828 | 1/1)

“So, is this language barrier ever going to end?” It was Dan who spoke, seemingly entertained by them as she rubbed her temples. – Marcus meets the Foxes and other issues his dads help him through.

You Found Me by howmanyshipscanashippership ( T | 1,539 | 1/1 )

Andrew wakes up a few days after the Foxes win the championships from a nightmare. He wants to look to Neil for comfort and wonders when that became a thing. He falls back asleep and remembers various scenes from when Andrew first met Neil and then things some more about that. Andrew never says to Neil "I love you" but it is heavily implied.... so cannon compliant.

[wearethemusikmakers]

Been a minute

It's been a while since I wrote anything on here. Life has jus been that up n down roller coaster as usual. Can say I kinda am getting on a better path in a few weeks from now but sometimes it feels like forever when ur still dealing with bullshit outside of work.

Right now tho my spiritual balance is way off. I dont feel that connection I had with God sometimes and I jus feel empty every now and then. I would blame it on SAD (seasonal anxiety disorder) but at the same time I kno theres more to it than that. I also recently split from my ex gf not too long ago which slightly has me on the fritz but not as much. Things between me n her weren't getting any better. After I put us on break in 2018 cus i was feeling our love weakening we jus never really repaired while trying to work things out. But rather than beat a dead horse I allowed her to break us up. She believed we should keep fighting but I don't kno anymore. Would things change or stay the same? Get better or get worse? So I stopped fighting my heart had no more fight left. Another reason why I feel so empty.

Me n her still stay in contact while she's in school but it's not enough time between her school work and job to really meet up or touch base even as friends. Its difficult. I shouldn't be trying to find anyone to fill that void but I never been that kinda guy to jus let LOVE go. I've been in a war within myself. The rebellious side of me is winning on all fronts the good half of me fights wen it is needed I guess.

I've also come to a conclusion of my future circle of friends as to whom will still be around and who will leave me hanging. Basically my old band members and a few others. Sometimes u don't think certain things like money/ fame/ a child will break up a bond that u built with ppl but in the end it always does somehow n ppl are jus shitty. Almost no one calls, almost no one hits u up, they don't want u around them. U would think I was stealing from them or something with the amount of distance they put between me n them. But I plan on recovering as I still have not given up my gifts n talents. I still write, recording is the tough part. Im down to the wire with maybe like 5 or 6 friends in my circle maybe. I wouldn't be surprised if something else stops us from befriending each other. But I pray not. My heart can only take so much more unnecessary loss.

Recently I've come back in contact with an old ex, who by surprise did me in the worst way possible u could do somebody. It's a story for another time I suppose but let's jus say our first go around was one of my most unpleasant. But for some reason I am drawn to her each time she comes back. It doesn't matter how many times she leaves she always appears n I find my way back to her. Thinking maybe she's changed, maybe she's grown a lil more n she has but then there's this constant game of cat n mouse that we play that keeps making me wonder, "why now?". This time around I can feel that I pull her more into being drawn to me jus as much. Perhaps I'm slowly learning to suppress every single emotion and allowing her to come forward more. Perhaps it is the change in her that is also crying out for something different this time. Perhaps I am being led astray into another trap only to be hurt by her again. 5th times the charm I suppose. What's crazy is i now understand why superheroes like Daredevil Batman Spiderman Wolverine and others fall for these beautiful cat like, deadly assassin women in their lives. They bring out something in them that no one else can see. And wen they kno they hurt you they kno how to manipulate ur feelings and make u feel special. They're honest and brutal but yet still care how they affect you even wen they hurt you. They kno you inside out even if u only knew them for a short time. For once I am living in my own fkn comic book. It's crazy but it's true.

I've been trying to take her out of her usual environment because I kno wen it comes to men they don't treat her so fair. Its jus sex wen they need to bust one off. Strictly business. But it's never that way with me. However I don't kno how to take her out of her environment wen she always proclaims to be sleepy. This has happened several times n I'm running out of patience. We go once she does fine. We try again she puts sleep above everything and she barely works. N yet somehow she still begs for me to stay. But what am I staying for? Is it cus I think or hope too much that she will keep her word? Perhaps but all this energy I'm wasting it jus divides my soul even more from who I am supposed to be. I shouldn't be fighting for something like this. Sometimes I keep hoping for truth to reveal itself but this time what is the truth, has she changed or stayed the same? Meaning surprise or casual disappointment. Lord knows.

I jus want an answer so I can move forward or slow down. I need an answer for everything in my life at this moment. Im hoping I get one cus it's been a while since I had one