#this fucking series is my heart and soul

[fellamarsh]

another thing i've been trying to do recently is read more self-published stuff. "but fell," you say, "you're a self-published author. surely you've been reading self-published stuff all along" and then i laugh for so long in response we both become uncomfortable.

see, the fear (which has for a long time been killing my mind) that i'll read other self-published stuff and find out that it's so much better than mine that i might as well stop writing forever kept me from doing that basically ever. i have a hard time not unfavorably comparing my work to others and had convinced myself i was being smart by withholding an avenue of de-motivation (reader: i was not being smart). it also doesn't help that i'm pretty low income and have a hard time spending money on books i haven't already read, and that self-published stuff isn't always available at the library---but really a lot of it was just me being a coward. which i'm working on. i could talk about how this particular cowardice is Very Silly, but i think enough has been said about it on writeblr and in the Writing Space in general that i don't feel the need to (though i will if anyone wants me to).

instead, i wanna talk about the self-published things i have read in the past few months and ask about the self-published things you love!

so: what happened was i got real sick, and while i was real sick i (naturally) read over 200,000 words of ace attorney fan fiction in the span of a few days. eventually i got bored of it (and also maybe annoyed at how people were characterizing some of my guys), but i still wanted to read something gay and romantic and nice, something i knew was gonna end happily, which isn't my typical fare.

now you may be saying (having gotten over all the uncomfortable laughter from earlier) "fell, you write gay romance. what do you mean that's not your typical fare?" listen. until a couple months ago i hadn't read a cut and dry romance novel since before i finished college. for context: i graduated in 2015. i know it doesn't make sense. i'm a guy who doesn't make sense.

but in this case it worked to my advantage. not the not making sense thing, but the not having read Published Romance in 1000 years thing. I didn't know where to start. I was very skeptical of everything the library had Available Now in the Gay Fantasy Romance category. what if it was all bad and also not good?

and then i scrolled past the familiar cover of our very own @ashen-crest's A Rival Most Vial.

now this was comfortable territory! this was a novel by a very nice writeblr person whose posts i enjoy! i already loosely knew the plot, i was familiar with the characters, i knew the names of things like rosemond street and the griffin's claw and that ambrose had blue hair and that at the end of it all there would definitely be Boyfriends. i didn't have to worry that this would be bad! i only had to worry that it would be really good!

but i wasn't worried about that, because i was officially Not Writing at the time, and because why the hell hadn't i read this book yet Ash literally emailed me some very kind words last year when my cat died??

Y'all, I devoured ARMV. If you haven't read it yet---especially if cozy fantasy is more your thing than it is mine---you should check it out Immediately. It was fun! It was heartwarming! It was sweet and earnest and confident! I was delighted to find it was occasionally hot! Ambrose and Eli snuggled up into my sick exhausted heart and found a permanent little place there. (Especially Ambrose. I have such a thing for Stiff Guys who Kind of Suck for Tragic Backstory Reasons and are So So Lonely They Don't Even Realize It. gawd)

(And a very small part of my brain spent the whole time wondering why I had been so afraid to really engage with the work my community is doing. The community that I'm in. The one I'm a part of. Why?! Maybe more on that later.)

But from there the curse was broken! I immediately devoured @stjohnstarling's What Manner of Man in a similar sort of frenzy (and hooooly shit guys am I excited for the expanded, finalized version to come out at the end of next month!) and started digging into @lurinatftbn's The Flower that Bloomed Nowhere (which I can already tell is going to be an All Time Favorite).

And now I want to ask you what your favorite self-published books are so that I can read them, too, but I think I will in another post that doesn't dedicate so much space to talking about my various and sundry Issues and isn't Terminally Long

[righthandman-martyn]

FUCK YOU GUYS I NEED TO SAY THIS. PEARL AND SCAR ARE. SUCH AN UNDERRATED DUO. THEYVE ALWAYS BONDED SO WELL. IN HC DOUBLE LIFE AND IN SECRET LIFE. FAN ART OF SCAR BEING IN DISTRAUGHT THAT HE WON SECRET LIFE OR HES SEEING THE OTHER WINNERS. LOUD INCORREVT FUCKING BUZZRRRRRRRERRRRRRR SHENWOULD BE HUGGING HIM IN SPIRIT AND WHISPERING HOW PROUD SHE IS. SHE DIDNT WANNA FIGHT HIM AND HE DIDNT WANNA FIGHT HER, SHE WAS ENCOURAHING HIM TO WIN WITH HER MOUNDERS AND SHIT. AND ONCE SHE DEFEATED GEM, WHOM SHE ALSO DIDNT WANT TO FIGHT. IT WAS THOSE TWO. THOSE TWO. WHO STRUGGLED SO HARD IN THEIR LIVES. AND FINALLY FOUND PEACE WITH EACH OTHER. THOSE TWO UNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER THR BEST OUT OF EVERYONE. THEYRE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER (/P) THEU HURT MEY FUCKING SOUL.

[becauseimanicequeen]

I watched the first episode of My Stand-In very late last night (or more like earlier this morning) and loved every bit of it (but had no brainpower to write something sensible about it, so here goes).

My thoughts so far:

I love that Up gets to play a dubious role (more so than his role in Step by Step). He’s such an ACTOR and I LOVE HIM.

Joe is a really sweet character. Perhaps a bit naive and a bit of an idiot. But who hasn’t been an idiot when crushing on someone? (Ming’s also an idiot when it comes to his crush, but in a different way���)

Joe’s home is really beautiful with the green everywhere and the yellow/orange/reddish tones in the background. Not to forget the "The Kiss" painting by Gustav Klimt! Not my personal favorite of Klimt’s works ("Goldfish" is my favorite), but I love a person who appreciates art! It made me love Joe even more.

Joe has my whole heart, but Ming has my fucking soul. (For an ice queen like me, my heart is frozen and half dead but my soul is not, so now you know where my true loyalties lie.) I need that bad father fucker to break Joe’s heart into a million little pieces (because we all know it’s happening anyway) and pay for it by crawling through hell, only to beg on his knees for forgiveness when he realizes Joe is actually back and then pay with his own blood when he tries his utmost to stitch Joe’s heart back together. (Or maybe something a little less dramatic? No, I want pain!)

It was an amazing start to this series. I can’t wait to see more of it. And more Ming. I'm a wee bit obsessed (I know, it's a me-problem, but I'm fine with it).

(Also, Ming's call at the beginning was him wanting to explain whatever went wrong between him and Joe, right? I'm sure that call will be revealed later on to be the "I wanted to tell you [whatever], but your phone died and then you fell off a cliff and I never got the chance to" or something. I'm sure Ming will suffer after that accident, and it will probably be well-deserved. I can't wait to see it.)

[thateldritchhorror]

@vashbooks I couldn't help but draw this from Under The Sky So Blue. Your ice and gold series is fucking amazing and I love it so much! This scene had me in my feels and I NEEDED to draw Aether! Hope you like it! 🥺

[chiyana]

god fuck I'm still playing KHII and I went to Port Royal and I just

I still cannot get over how tonally dissonant it is that they crammed Pirates of the Caribbean into this game. Like every other Disney franchise they include (thus far) you can be like 'yeah, Sora, Donald, and Goofy could show up in this world and it'd be weird, but it wouldn't be THAT outlandish'

but Pirates of the Caribbean? Live-action murderous Pirates of the Caribbean? Imagine watching that movie, with the threats and horror elements and the acting, and then imagine Donald Duck, Goofy the whatever, and some spiky haired kid wearing early 2000s Hot Topic clothes just running into the scene like 'hey we're looking for our friends anyone seen any weird creatures called Heartless running around?' you would be able to HEAR the screeching tires as everything comes to a dead halt.

this is a franchise with guns and blood and explicit death. what the FUCK is it doing here.

[whollyjoly]

BofB as Killers Songs - Renée Lemaire

Renée Lemaire - Human

my sign is vital my hands are cold and i’m on my knees looking for the answer are we human or are we dancer? (there is no message we're receiving / let me know, is your heart still beating?)

pt 7/? - band of brothers as killers songs

playlist for the series

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this is dedicated to the wonderful and incredible lou, @ronald-speirs and whatever other usernames you have going rn 😂 it has been such a gift to get to know you, my dear 💕 you are so kind, so supportive, and i absolutely adore both our absurd shenanigans and our real ass conversations. thank you for just being a great friend! this, dear lou, is for you 🥰 love you lots 💕💕 (bonus: those beautiful screencaps of renée?? also done by lou 🥰)

Taglist: @xxluckystrike @ronsparky @land-sh @malarkgirlypop @sweetxvanixlla

Let me know if you'd like to be added or removed!

photo sources: x x x x x x x

[stormyoceans]

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE BEGINNING AND THE END NOT ONLY IN THEIR EXPRESSIONS BUT ALSO IN THE COLOR GRADING OF THE SHOW FROM BLUE (STRANGERS ISOLATION COLDNESS SADNESS) TO YELLOW/ORANGE (LOVERS WARMTH HAPPINESS OPTIMISM) FUCKING TOP TIER CINEMA EXCELLENCE RIGHT HERE

[unadulteratedkr]

I don’t think even I’m ready for just how feral I’m going to go for Madeleine Sami in ofmd s2

[spittingspite]

Thought about the okami sequel too hard again and instantly teared up I swear I've never been so happy and emotional over a game announcement in my life

[rosalind-hawkins]

having a "minor" crisis of self-confidence in my writing

it's just one of those days

really hope it goes away because i want to just write and enjoy it, and not care about views, kudos, and comments, but i do, and i don't want to—

[luckystrike-x]

.

[godblooded]

it’s fucking weird to be emotional about insidious but i have a lot of precious memories attached to that franchise from @mxdam writing the best elise to me going to see the last key with my brother to it being the birth of my love of james wan. nothing could prepare me for how much of a punch it packs to see dalton all grown up. not another actor. same kiddo all these years later.

[penguinedward]

i just. i just…FUCK. i just really want harrowhark to go sicko mode when she realizes john has the power to resurrect whoever he wants he just chooses not to and even after learning about his own blood daughter he still doesn’t resurrect her he just makes her a construct. i would be alecto-levels of grief-stricken-enraged if my childhood nemesis/guard dog/whipping girl/codependent lesbian situationship that i lobotomized over/suicide-pact soulmate/only friend was suddenly here but not here haunting her own dead body and the only reason she’s present is because she was made into a fascist killing machine for a man with a power kink, and she’s not even happy about it but she’s going through the motions because all she knows of love is to be useful. (forever your sword.) and if i was harrow and i died and then came back to myself after switching bodies with the human cage holding the earth’s soul and realized all of this, i think i too would be accompanying the earth’s soul on her shoulder to go kill a man with eclipse-eyes and criminal levels of nonchalance. y’know. the one who guarded g1deon but not me, lord. the one who was so sure i had never seen that which lies insensate and with stilled mind, lord, who did not realize i was a lock and there was a key in the shape of a girl, lord. the one who looked me dead in the eye and told me i could never have my cavalier back, lord. the cavalier who came back haunted and empty and incomplete by your hand, lord.

i’m so team ‘harrowhark saves gideon for real this time not because she wants her cav but because she wants her other half’ i might lose my mind about it

[becauseimanicequeen]

Who the fuck did I save in my previous life to be blessed with both My Stand-In AND Wandee Goodday at the same fucking time in this one?!

[dna-d2]

ALRIGHT YOU KNOW WHAT I'M NOT DONE YELLING ABOUT POKEMON

WHY IN THE HELL DO NINTENDO/THE POKEMON ADVENTURES GUYS HATE DIAMOND/PEARL/PLATINUM SO MUCH?????

They make what's in my opinion the best Arc/Protagonists in the manga, then proceed to NEVER HAVE ANY OF THEM SHOW UP OR EVEN BE TALKED ABOUT EVER AGAIN

Then a couple years back they started selling Collector's Editions of the manga, which I bought. Only they STOPPED SELLING THEM JUST BEFORE THEY WOULD'VE DONE D/P/P. They put out Emerald and just CALLED IT THERE, THE BASTARDS

Then they release the ABSOLUTE ABOMINATIONS that were Brilliant Diamond/Shining Pearl, which were SO BAD that they just

THEY JUST ENTIRELY SKIPPED THAT ARC IN THE MANGA. Which was LITERALLY THE ONLY REASON I WANTED THE REMAKES (Well that and the Distortion World, which they ALSO DIDN'T ADD TO THE GAMES DID THEY??? GOD THESE GAMES SUCKED)

Does Gamefreak have some sort of vendetta against Gen 4 or something?? Do they hate me personally???

Because at this point it REALLY feels like they might hate me personally

Why can't I have my boys back?? Why can't I be happy???

[lennythereviewer]

My favorite Kingdom Hearts fact is that one of the biggest plot-holes that Nomura has never been able to meaningfully retcon or write his way out, a plot-hole so big that it fundamentally breaks the very rules the series is written on...

Is the existence of Steamboat Willie

Let me explain for the uninitiated:

In Kingdom Hearts 2, there’s a small detour in the story involving Maleficent trying to invade Disney Castle, the home of King Mickey. She can’t step foot in the castle due to an artefact of pure light that wards off darkness locked in the basement.

Pete, who is working for Maleficent, opens a door into the past (Before Disney Castle, this land was known as Timeless River) and decides to remove the artifact from it’s place in time so it won’t be there to stop them from getting in.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy chase Pete into the past thanks to another magic door provided by Merlin, and through some shenanigans involving old cartoons and teaming up with Pete’s past-self, they lock the door the villains are using, and return the artefact to it’s proper place so it can exist in the present.

You with me so far? Pretty straightforward-ish time-travel plot right?

Here’s where it goes off the rails.

Time travel would go on to become a staple of Kingdom Hearts going forward and would come with a very strict set of rules over how it operates:

1. You can only travel to a point in time where a version of yourself exists

2. You basically give up your body to do so, and travel as a disembodied soul unless you have a vessel to inhabit

3. You can’t alter the past in a meaningful way, what’s going to happen will happen

4. You lose your memories of said trip once you return, but your actions could leave a lingering instinct on your other self that could influence their decisions

“Wait” you may be thinking “Why should anyone go through all those hoops? Wasn’t time travel super simple that first time?”

And you’d be totally right, because the existence of Timeless River completely renders all of these rules and restrictions meaningless. 

There is no version of Sora that existed in Timeless River before he step foot there, everyone kept their bodies, the trio and Pete were able to mess with the timeline as freely as they pleased, and they all very much remember their trip. 

Nomura has never been able to meaningfully explain this super simple, easy way of time travel and the more convoluted method co-existing other than a cheap-throwaway line from one of the villains saying that Merlin “broke the rules” 

The hilarious part about this line is that it implies that PETE of all characters is actually more powerful than the actual villain of the series, because Pete opened a door into Timeless River through sheer willpower and nostalgia for “the good old days”

But the all-knowing chess-master of a villain who had an evil plan several decades in the making with countless moving parts and contingencies to account for had to use the roundabout, more complicated method of time travel where a lot could go wrong.

Pete though? Dude just casually broke all the rules of time travel because he felt like it. He's just built different.

TL;DR: Steamboat Willie breaks Kingdom Hearts lore in half, Pete is more powerful than Master Xehanort, and I fucking love this beautiful trainwreck of a series you guys it means so much to me

I love Kingdom hearts so much.