#this fic might end up longer than wibbly wobbly

[lululawrence]

x

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK]

NOTICE: Back To The Future and related concepts © Robert Zemeckis/Bob Gale/Universal. Frozen and related concepts © Diznee. This story, plot, and prose © Jessica X and Fruipit. Cover art © Moon_MLR. All rights reserved.

WARNING: This story will contain coarse language, incestuous romance between a mother and daughter, and some smut (these chapters will have warnings). Also contains Punzanna (Rapunzel/Anna) content. If you have a problem with any of those things, DO NOT READ; just walk away for everyone's sake.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: IT'S CORONATION DAY! What better day than this to start off the last installment of our three-part time-travelling mess? None I can think of! (Except maybe October 21st, or November 5th... for Fluxy reasons haha) Today happens to be the approximate date that canonical Elsa was crowned queen of Arendelle, and it's time to crown Elsa McFly the queen of wibbly-wobbly-wincest yet again.

Thank you all so much for waiting. Life has really been a journey between the end of Part II and now. As for this fic, by this point, the plot might be completely unrecognisable for Back To The Future fans. Please keep that in mind when you're seeing just how wildly we diverged from the source material. That said, we hope you like it and that it's been worth the wait!

Jess and Frui

                                                   PROLOGUE

Elsa McFly couldn't believe how much everything could change in thirty years. Again.

Everything, from the predictable things like technology, to others like plants and the world's actual attempts to create a greener planet. It was not something she'd ever imagined – and it gave her a sense of how Anna felt when she'd turned up in 1985. Elsa was very definitely out of her time.

The town itself hadn't changed much. The buildings were old, streets even older. There had been no population boom to strike Dell Valley; it remained relatively consistent. Certain aspects had been cleaned up, of course; less graffiti, condemned properties were gone. Less poverty, too, it seemed, although the homeless may have just moved on from the park outside the courthouse and onto other areas.

Little Elsa Baines's childhood home no longer existed, which was a slightly sad thought. It had been knocked down and turned into townhouses – they looked tiny from the outside, but chances are they were really quite spacious and affordable. No chance for her to go inside, but neither did she care all that much anyway.

The McFly family home at Aren Estates was still hanging around. The whole neighbourhood had really been improved – even though the houses were still quite old, the place was clean and well-lit, lawns neatly kept. Sitting on a bench just down the street, it gave her a chance to just observe. She was only somewhat surprised to learn that the home had stayed in the family through all these years. Anna had never moved out – Jennifer had actually moved in. That was good, she thought approvingly. Both the fact that their love had lasted, and that they hadn't strayed far. It gave her a sense of hope.

Thus far, she hadn't seen herself – though Doc had warned her to stay out of sight of her future self if she did. That made it hard, given that the whole purpose of her 'visit' was to see how future-Anna and future-Elsa interacted. To make sure that they could move on, that they had moved on. Perhaps gain some insight into how the 2015 versions could do the same.

But maybe… she wouldn't learn that secret. Maybe it didn't work at all because Elsa hadn't seen herself. Not a hair nor a finger. She had peered through the front window whilst the house had been empty, and seen nothing. No photographs or other sentiments lying around. Definitely one of Anna and Punz – they had the full white wedding, both women in dresses. The photo was displayed proudly in the living room, the inhabitants moving like something out of Harry Potter; yet another technological advancement.

Perhaps it had been irreconcilable. It wasn't really too far out of the question. There was only one other thought that she didn't really want to think about, and yet it passed through her mind regardless.

What if… what if she wasn't around anymore at all?

And so she had moved away from the house, going off to wait on her bench near the Delorean – parked a ways down the street and hidden – while she waited for Anna and Jennifer to show. They eventually exited, talking about something – it sounded like an argument, actually. The words didn't carry down the street, but the volume did. Elsa watched as Anna's hand came up and pinched at her nose. She turned around, locking the front door as Jennifer opened the car and slid into the driver's seat.

God, she still looked beautiful. It felt less weird, looking at her like this. Anna was the same age as Elsa, though she had definitely aged better. Whether it be diet and exercise or some revolutionary health product, she looked like she was barely forty instead of pushing fifty. Her freckles stood stark against pale skin, and in the morning sun her coppery hair shone.

Jennifer was the same, though she'd never quite held the same allure for Elsa. It was most definitely for the best; it was one thing to carry an ill-advised torch for ones daughter, given they had actually fallen in love when they were both teenagers. Being attracted to her daughter's girlfriend was… too much. Though Jennifer was always beautiful.

Still, a small smile worked its way onto her face as she watched Anna knock on the window to the car. Jennifer rolled it down, and they conversed for a few seconds before Anna leaned fully in, kissing her on the cheek. When she pulled back, she seemed to be smiling. So, even though they fought, there was still a lot of love there. Good. They deserved that.

Then Jennifer was pulling from the driveway, Anna waving her goodbye. She picked up her handbag, and Elsa decided that it was probably time for her to leave. She had been creepy enough. Standing up, she accidentally dropped the car keys as they slid from her lap. When she stood upright again, thumbing the keyring, she looked towards Anna one more time.

Her blood ran cold when she found a pair of green eyes already focused on her.

She tried to turn away. To do as Doc said and not interfere with the goings-on of a time outside her own; unlike poor, bewildered Anna in the 80s, she fully appreciated the risks and the dangers. But she only got a few steps before she heard Anna calling her name.

"ELSA?!"

It wouldn't do to try and make a run for it. All that would accomplish was causing a scene in the quaint little suburban neighbourhood. The footsteps drew closer, and closer… it felt like a small eternity, waiting there. But she couldn't bring herself to turn around and approach Anna herself.

"Elsa… it is you, isn't it?"

"I'm afraid you have me mistaken for someone else," she tried feebly.

"And I'm afraid I don't buy that. So what are you doing here?"

The tears in Anna's voice was what finally made her turn around. The lines around her eyes were a little more apparent from such close distance, though they still weren't as pronounced as her own. Crinkles at the corners of her mouth, faint crow's feet. Still radiant and full of life as she ever was. She and Jennifer both looked to be relatively trim as their younger selves had been, though Punz a little plumper than Anna.

"I… doing something stupid," she finally whispered, dropping all of her pretence. "Trying to see… h-how… you and I could…"

Seeming to sense that Elsa was about to break down and expire, her daughter grinned and reached out a hand to rest on her shoulder. The tears were falling freely, but she otherwise seemed to be able to maintain a normal demeanor.

"Come inside. Jennifer's already gone; you don't have to worry about polluting the timeline, even though this is the future."

A little stunned by just how easily Anna seemed to assess the situation, Elsa took the hand and let her lead her back to their home. It didn't take long to be pushed through the front door. Anna had certainly looked like she was on her way somewhere, but when Elsa asked, she'd just brushed it off.

"Oh, it's fine," she said. "I mean- I'll just have to send a quick message but please, make yourself at home!"

She disappeared down the hallway, and Elsa didn't feel as lecherous as she thought she would when she watched her go. The fashion was something else; light fabrics that seemed to fit perfectly. Complimented Anna's skin and her freckles and her eyes – and now that she wasn't directly in front of them, Elsa could think back and realise that they were definitely a brighter green than they used to be. Contacts or something else, she wasn't sure.

Elsa didn't hear Anna moving about, which meant she wasn't returning just yet. Which meant Elsa did the one thing she thought she should: she went to the kitchen and attempted to make two cups of hot chocolate. Trusting that her daughter hadn't changed so much as to no longer keep the powdered stuff in the house, she began- well, not snooping as such. Just looking for the chocolate.

She couldn't find anything, but she did find a small glass container of what looked like liquorice bullets labeled "drinking chocolate". Plucking the jar off the shelf, she opened the lid and took a sniff.

"Good, right?"

"Ahh!" Elsa cried, dropping the jar. It dropped to the floor in slow motion, giving Elsa ample time to squeeze her eyes shut and wait for the inevitable smash.

It didn't come.

"Hey, relax," Anna said, stepping forward. Her hand came to rest at the small of Elsa's back for a second, almost naturally, before she bent down to pick up the jar and the lid. Luckily, none of the little pellets had fallen out. She tapped the side. "Unbreakable glass. Pretty common these days." There was a smile on her face, but Elsa's heart was still racing too fast for her to really take much notice of it.

And Anna's hand was still on her back. Taking a quick step backwards, Elsa found herself pressing against the sink. She was grateful that Anna didn't move forward with her. Instead, she took out two of the chocolate-things and moved over to a machine. Within seconds, the warm aroma of a barista-made hot chocolate filled Elsa's nostrils.

She didn't speak. She wasn't sure she knew what to say, even if her voice hadn't been trapped behind the lump in her throat. Luckily for the both of them, Anna never had been one to thrive in silence.

"I've been expecting you to drop by," she began softly. She puttered about the kitchen as she spoke, grabbing cups and plates, getting the hot chocolate and some snacks from a device that looked like a wall of a beehive, hundreds of tiny hexagons surrounding different things. She didn't approach Elsa at all. "Jennifer and I have been waiting a few years, actually. We weren't quite sure when, but we thought it would be soon."

"You did? So… you already knew- well, of course you would," she sighed, shaking her head. "Obviously, by now someone would have told you I took this little trip, either me or Doc, or anyone. Silly of me to think it would go unnoticed for thirty years."

Anna's face fell slightly. She was still smiling, but it was a bit sadder. "Actually… that isn't entirely what happened."

"It isn't?"

"No. You see… no one has seen you for thirty years."

Elsa's blood ran cold. It took her a few seconds to find her voice again, and as she worked at it Anna merely gazed at her, eyes drinking in her face. As if she had never been so happy to see it in all her life. Which, if it had really been that long…

"But… but I was going to go back, I…"

"Were you?" This time, her hands went to her hips, as if she were the parent. Even though they were the same age now. "Because I think if you really intended to do that, Mom, we wouldn't be dealing with this situation right now."

Swallowing hard, Elsa looked away, clutching at her heart. "Well… alright. Going back to our home in 2015 was not my primary plan. It was my backup plan. But I really did hope… that I would find something here, some small sign, anything that could show me that I should reconsider…"

"Where did you go?" Anna asked her softly, finally raising her hands to rest on Elsa's shoulders. "Nobody ever knew what became of you. Not even… where you died, if you died… nothing. You were gone from our lives. Dad had his first heart attack because of that."

"First?" she asked with sudden urgency.

"Relax, relax," she soothed her, stroking up and down her upper arms. "He's fine. Still kicking, still writing. He lives with Wendy and her family now."

Her emotions did the fastest flip-flop of her entire life. "I… Wendy has a family?" Her eyes brimmed with tears of pure joy.

"Yes, and don't ask for any details," Anna warned her with a stern glare. Elsa nodded her understanding; she didn't want to accidentally jeopardise her elder daughter's happiness. "We have other shit to worry about."

"What do you mean?" Elsa asked. Anna gave her a look, but didn't say anything. Not at first. She instead took a step away, picking up both mugs of hot chocolate in one hand and a container of something else in the other.

"Come sit," she said, beckoning gently.

Elsa still seemed hesitant to come too close of her own accord. After learning what she'd put her family through, she assumed there would be a bit more… anger. Maybe even hatred. But there was none – at least, not directed at her. Elsa could still see something unpleasant swirling in Anna's eyes, pooling beneath the sadness she had inflicted, too. It hurt to look, so she didn't.

"Did I…do something?" Anna asked softly, once they were seated on the lounge. "Did I…chase you away?"

"What? No, of course not, Anna-"

"Then why? Mom…" Anna's voice broke briefly, but when Elsa's eyes flickered up to her daughter, she didn't seem to be crying again. At least, not yet. "Mom you just left us. Dad and John and Wendy. Me… I blamed myself for so long, too. When you didn't come back. Finally saw that shrink." She gave a sniffle, and Elsa could definitely hear the tears in Anna's voice when she spoke again. "It really… it really messed me up. Jennifer was a godsend. She kept me from doing anything really stupid."

Elsa felt her own eyes welling at that. "I didn't want to cause more pain," she began. "We are… were… stuck in a loop. An endless cycle that I couldn't allow to continue. Not with my teenaged daughter. The only thing that would make it stop is… if I removed myself from the equation. You'd be free to live your life with Jennifer, without worrying about me."

"But I DID, Mom!" Anna cried. And yes, she was truly in tears now. They streamed down her face, turning it splotchy red and sticky. "I did worry. I thought you hated me; hated what I did, what I'd put you through. I didn't feel like you were saving me, I felt like you were punishing me!"

Suddenly, she stood up. Without offering any explanation, she turned and left the room, leaving Elsa alone and confused. Through the walls she could hear the telltale sound of someone speaking – Anna, in this case. It was impossible to hear what she was saying, though.

When Anna returned, some minutes later, Elsa still hadn't moved. Her chocolate was… still warm, surprisingly. She hadn't touched it, though. Clearing her throat, Anna spoke.

"Jen's coming home," she said softly. "I thought- I thought I could do this and I can't. I-" She paused, sucking in a breath. When she found her voice, it was thin and watery. "I still love you. And that probably really messes with your plan, or whatever you had."

Elsa was completely crestfallen to find out this was how things were. This plot of hers to remove herself from the problematic equation that was their love – their life – would make Anna this unhappy? She understood it, of course, but she had hoped that she would be able to get on with her life. Without the needless stress of a mother who couldn't seem to stop doing unmotherly things.

"Anna… my God, I just don't know what I'm doing." Finally, she did pick up the mug and took a sip. To give herself a moment. "You were so- wow, this is good."

"I'm glad," Anna managed with a weak chuckle. "Drink pellets are like, next-level Keurig."

"It's not your 'fault,' though. It's mine. I thought… I assumed that the plan I had worked out in the years after realising who you would become should have been enough. That I could just stubbornly resist temptation and everything would go back to normal. But I didn't count on you being just as tempted as me! Young me was so much prettier, and appealing, so-"

"Oh, don't go down that road," she sighed, face pained. "You're still as hot as you were the last time I saw you, which was as hot as you were in the 80s. But that isn't really the issue."

That stunned her completely. "It's not? News to me."

"Oh, of course not! It's that we were in love. Not because you're a cute blonde, but because… I just really wanted to be with the person you were. That sweet, exciting girl I met in '85. Despite all the walls in our way, the obstacles, I think we both know that my little trip into the past showed us a part of each other that we couldn't see before. A soulmate."

Elsa's lips fumbled uselessly for a few seconds. When she still couldn't speak, Anna eventually allowed herself a small smile, then whispered, "Spoilers."

"But… but Jennifer…" The protest was weak; she was too shocked to do any better than that.

Anna grinned. It was small, barely there. "You think she's with me because of my dashing looks?" she asked. She seemed genuinely curious, too. "I've had thirty years without you, Elsa. Three decades to think. And so has she."

There was a pause as Elsa absorbed all this information. Then, Anna surprised her with a question.

"Do you remember when you first met me?" At first, Elsa just looked confused.

"You mean, in the 80s?" Anna nodded. So she answered, "I- yes. I do."

"And do you remember what happened after dinner? We went to that café and Tiana brought us choco-banana milkshakes?"

This time, it was Elsa who nodded. "I've never forgotten…" she murmured. "You were the first person I ever shared that much with."

"Do you… know why?" Anna asked softly. She seemed to know something that Elsa didn't, so she continued. "That was the moment I stopped thinking, 'Oh God, my mother wants to bang everything that moves' and I realised…"

She trailed off, and Elsa was almost too afraid to ask what. She already knew. "What did you realise?"

"That it was me. That you had a thing for me, not just an out-of-control libido. And it only because more obvious the more time I spent with you."

Elsa couldn't look at her. Her hands came up to cover her face as she shook her head. She didn't notice Anna move, but she certainly felt her when she sat next to her on the couch. Elsa didn't fight it when Anna pulled her into a hug – she relished in it. Far too much, if she were honest.

But… was that true anymore? Anna was an adult. She, like Elsa, had thirty years to come to terms with what she had done as a teenager. And with whom. And nothing she was saying was a lie, either. Elsa could feel that much. At the time, she hadn't known what it was; even today, it remained an indescribable pull that was impossible to shake. The very thought of what she had put Anna through – or rather, what she was going to put Anna through – was nearly enough to shake her.

By that same token, though, millions of people survived without their other half. Their… soulmate. So would Anna. She deserved better than Elsa, who always seemed to make the wrong choice.

"I'm… sorry…" Elsa began softly. Her hands came away from her face so she could wrap them around Anna's waist, pulling her close. "I'm so… so sorry…"

Anna pulled back, just far enough to look in Elsa's eyes. "I know," she said before leaning forward, lips pressing against her cheek and lingering for a solid second before she moved away. They looked at each other, already knowing what the other was thinking.

This time, when Anna leaned forward, Elsa did the same, coming to meet her. And it was everything she had been missing for thirty years. Everything she had wanted, and never allowed herself to have again because Anna was too young — or rather, Elsa herself had grown too old. Though apparently, Anna disagreed, and still did even in the future.

As their lips slid over each other, Elsa finally allowed her hands to move up Anna's back, to truly give herself over to the contact. There was no shame, no pushing her away, no stammered excuses; Anna kissed back with the ferocity of a thousand warriors, and a level of experience her younger self had never possessed. It felt strong, and wonderful, and all of the things that she had found it to be when Anna was barely a woman without any of the guilt. Or more accurately, without the guilt having any true bite.

"This," she gasped when Anna broke away to kiss down her neck, "wasn't wh-why I came here!"

"I know," Anna responded. She sucked in a breath, then let it out slowly as she forced herself to draw back, smiling at Elsa. "God, you still do it for me. I knew I still loved you and missed you, but after thirty years, I did start to wonder about the physical aspect and all… chemistry, whatever."

"But it still isn't right," Elsa sighed, devoid of true conviction anymore. "And I still don't see how we're going to make this work without… well, ruining our family."

"At least you're talking about trying to make it work now. That's a good sign." Reaching up into her hair, Anna undid the bun Elsa had it stuck in and ran her hands through it until the soft platinum hair fell in waves down her shoulders. "This beautiful young lady, Elsa Baines…"

Against her own expectations, Elsa bit her bottom lip and let out a shy giggle. That was truly the first time Anna had been 'in control' of the situation, and she felt an odd thrill in the pit of her stomach that forced the sound out of her. When Anna heard it, she grinned and left a brief peck on her lips.

"You are," Anna murmured softly. "And you always have been." But then she was backing away more fully, rising to her feet. Elsa could see how her legs wobbled, just a little. She had done that to Anna?

Then again, she doubted that she would be able to stand properly, either. This Anna – the confident one who didn't make Elsa feel like a cougar – had lit something in her that she hadn't felt since she was a teenager. Yes, she had certainly felt it in 2015, but it had been tainted by the fact that Anna was a teenager and she should not be having these kinds of liaisons with her forty-seven year old mother.

That was no longer a concern. And who knew? Perhaps the laws were a little more lenient in 2045; an option worth looking into, at the very least. Or perhaps not. Maybe it was immaterial.

"Anna…" Elsa began softly as her daughter crossed the room to fiddle with a panel, inlaid into the wall. "As much as I want to- to stay here with you, or return to 2015, I can't- I have a plan."

She didn't say any more, but she didn't need to. "I know," Anna said softly. "Can I- can you do a favor for me, though? Can you take this to me, about a month ago? From my time, not yours." She held out a small triangle. Elsa had a few guesses for what it may be, and none of them seemed particularly good.

"Anna, don't you see? I can't! You know what Doctor Pabbie said. His 'rules'. I may not understand the science completely, but I know I don't want to destroy the universe as long as you're in it!"

"Don't worry, it's… I prepared for that. Promise-promise. That's why I'm not sending you back to teenage-me. Look – if you think we shouldn't be together, if you really think that our lives would be better with you gone, then… go. Don't look back. Don't go back and give that to me. I won't make you. And I won't hate you." She stopped there, the reason why obvious: her eyes had filled with tears. She was smiling, still, but there was pain etched on her face. "Love you, Mom."

And for the first time, Elsa truly thought about changing the plan she had firmly in place. Her passport had already been renewed and she had a plane ticket booked, but it was open-ended; she could exchange it. She had second thoughts almost constantly, but this was the first time they had weight enough to make her reconsider.

"I'll… give this some serious thought, Anna," she whispered as she took the triangle, tucking it into her purse. She'd have to remember to stow it somewhere safe eventually, especially if she decided not to give it to Anna's past self; it could be dangerous in anyone else's hands. "Giving in to our feelings still sounds like an awful thing to do to you on paper, but…"

"But we aren't on paper," she affirmed for both of them, and Elsa smiled back at her. They kissed briefly again. "Now get out of here before I decide you need to stay. God knows I love having you around… but if I'm right, if true love wins, then this future is going to change, anyway."

Elsa snorted. "Now you sound like me. Doc really messed up how we understand time, didn't he?"

"Maybe a little." As she walked Elsa to the door, hand in hand, Anna leaned over and whispered, "By the way… if you're worried about ageing and looking 'too old' for young-me, you could always make an appointment at a rejuvenation clinic. Adds a good thirty-to-forty years to your life. Punz and I haven't had the full treatment yet, but we've had a thing or two done. We're young, we have plenty of time."

"Rejuvenation clinic? That sounds like cheating."

"It is," Anna laughed, and they both shared a grin. "But the world isn't quite as overpopulated as it used to be after the… well, nevermind that. Just stay out of Europe and China in 2020."

Feeling an odd chill down her spine, considering Europe was where she had intended to "retire" as per her plans, Elsa nodded and embraced her. "I will. Oh, Anna… how can I be both so excited and so confused?"

"I think it's called… possibilities," Anna said softly, holding her mother tight. There was a hesitance as they slowly released one another, moving back so their hands rested on each other's elbows.

"I don't want to leave," Elsa said softly. "But I know I have to…" She couldn't stay here, no matter how much she might wish it. No matter how unfair it all was. Anna wore a sad smile as her hand came up to cup Elsa's cheek, thumb running gently over the lined skin.

"I know," came her soft words. "I don't want you to go."

Those words seemed to help Elsa break away. Perhaps it should have been harder to leave, knowing that this Anna felt the same. That if circumstances were different, it would have been perfect. But instead, it made it easier. Anna loved her. She had always loved her – and still did – and yet she survived. Elsa could leave and Anna would still grow up happy and healthy. Kristoff probably understood. John and Wendy… maybe they knew and maybe they didn't.

Wiping at her eyes, which had dampened but not truly filled with tears, Elsa smiled.

"Goodbye, Anna," she said. "I love you."

And Anna simply said, "I know," and that was that.

It didn't take long for her resolve to falter. Truly she was only halfway down the street, the feel of Anna's gaze on the back of her head still fresh, before she began having doubts. Her hand strayed to her purse, where Anna's odd little triangle lay. What had she said? If Elsa truly believed they shouldn't be together, then she could simply ignore it. However… if a single shred of her was uncertain, if she thought that their love was bigger than the space-time continuum, then she should take it to Anna of one month prior.

Legs growing weak, Elsa collapsed on a sidewalk bench. She had a decision to make. And she had all the time in the world; she had a time machine. But she knew that she would have to have one final conversation before she made that choice. Much as she loved her daughter, she was no scientist.

"There's only one man who can help me," she whispered a few minutes later as she finally regained the strength to round the corner to where the DeLorean lay sleeping. Waiting for its temporary mistress to give it new marching orders toward a shared destiny.

                                                         To Be Continued…

[marmolady]

Pride

Book/Series: Endless Summer

Main Pairings: Diego x Varyyn, Estela x MC

Summary: (Endless Ending– set after my longer fic, ‘Broken Chains’, if you’ve not read it, assume a happy ending).  Surrounded by a barrier of friends, Varyyn joins Diego as they march in their very first Pride parade.

Word Count: 1588

Tagging:   @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr,  @greengroove

Reviews and reblogs are hugely appreciated!

Cloaked in a dark hood, at odds with the popping attire of near everyone around him, Varyyn was wide-eyed with fascination as he stepped out of the Northbridge train station, Diego at his side. The streets were awash with colour, hues that were draped over countless flags, banners, even the skin of revelers.

Diego grasped his husband’s hand tightly. He was awash with emotion; anxiety at having Varyyn surrounded by so many people, but more than that, a feeling of belonging that he’d craved for as long as he could remember.

“This is it, Varyyn,” he uttered hoarsely. “Happy Pride!”

“I am always proud to be with you, my love.”

Taylor was grinning like an idiot-- for her, too, this was a first, as it was for Estela with whom her fingers were entwined. “We’ve got this, Diego, the rest of us should be enough of a barrier to stop anyone from looking at you two too closely.”

Giving his best friend a warm smile, Diego nodded. That he’d been touched to have ten friends putting themselves out there to give him the kind of Pride experience he’d wistfully imagined was an understatement. They had his back. “Yeah, we got this.”

He looked around. Friends surrounded him on all sides, dressed in their colours or else proudly wearing ‘ally’ pins. To think he’d felt so alone before--

“Hey!” Craig exclaimed, “If anyone gets to close to our V-Dog, I can pull off a killer diversion. I’ve been practising my moves for weeks…”

“It’s been fucking torture to watch,” Zahra said. “But, yeah, your dancing will scare anyone off, I’ll give you that.”

As they marched on with the parade, the smile on Estela’s face just grew broader. She’d never had a chance to do anything like this in San Trobida, and probably she’d have steered clear of all the fuss anyway. Since returning from La Huerta, her sexuality, the identity that came with it, meant a whole lot more. On La Huerta, no one gave a damn, and she hadn’t bothered herself with labels. Today,though, her wrist was adorned with a pink, yellow and blue bracelet.

“I didn’t know you identified as pansexual?” Quinn queried warmly. When they’d discussed these things previously, Estela had always been vague-- which had always been accepted without hesitation; but it seemed something had changed.

Estela nodded. “I didn’t think I wanted a label, but then I thought… words have power. They can make you visible. I like who I am, how I love; a lot of people where I’m from struggle with that because for so long they had to hide. Visibility is important.”

“That’s my wife! Fighting the good fight and making the world less shit, one PDA at a time.” Taylor jumped to give Estela an enormous smooch, delighting in the happy squirm she caused.

“So, uh,” Estela tried to continue, whilst her love continued to pepper her face and neck with kisses, “basically, I just… find some people attractive. And I don’t think it would have mattered if Taylor was a guy or a girl or both or neither. She’s my person. It was a weird feeling, like something deep inside me knew.”

“Aw, ‘Stel!” Taylor gushed. “As for me? Basically, I’m gay as the day is long. Useless Lesbian: Alien Edition.”

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock,” Zahra scoffed. “You’re a walking fucking stereotype. If there were U-Hauls on La Huerta, maybe you wouldn’t have even needed to get hitched after what… how many weeks? Three? Four?”

Diego was quick to swoop to his friend’s defence. “Hey! La Huerta rules apply! Way too much wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff to untangle.”

Quinn smiled warmly. It wasn’t the first time she’d been to one of these events, nor even the third or fourth, but to be surrounded by the friends who’d become her family made for a very different experience. She was not alone, dodging pitying whispers while she tried to embrace a side of herself that was so much more than ‘the dying girl’. And now, she had Michelle.

“Life can be over so fast; if you care for someone, there’s no shame in putting yourself out there and showing it.” She gave Michelle’s hand a squeeze, and they exchanged an affectionate glance. “Being trapped at the end of the world can do a lot to put things in perspective. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m living without regrets. Who I am is who I am; and that includes the pieces I wished I could hide from.”

Grace looked to her friend with admiration. “That’s very brave, Quinn. Sometimes accepting yourself can be the hardest thing.” Especially when the people you love can’t look at the true you and do the same. “Honestly, you’ve helped me a lot.”

Walking beside Diego, Varyyn was beginning to see why they called it ‘Pride’; he could feel it emanating from his husband, creating a warmth that had nothing to do with the sun beating down. And the smile on Diego’s face? Varyyn was sure he’d not ever seen anything quite so beautiful. Though careful not to peer to far out from his hood, he took the time to look over each of the different coloured flags and ask about each one. A young woman jogged past, wearing a cape of black, grey, white and purple-- the same design that was plastered across Raj’s shirt.

“Raj,” he queried, “ I believe Diego told me about your colours. It is for… ‘ace’? For no romantic partners?”

“You got it! Basically, I get all the love I need from my bros. I never really felt like anything was missing, you know?”

“I understand. It’s not something my people have a word for, though I know several friends who have always felt the way you do,” he said, thoughtfully. “So much of this we don’t have words for; we just… be. I appreciate your sharing with me. And I am very grateful to be one of your bros.”

The whole experience was vastly different to anything that could exist among the Vaanti. Sexuality and gender was of so little consequence; there had never been much weight put on words and labels, there were no expectations that it be necessary. By the generally agreed upon human terms, Varyyn supposed he might call himself ‘pansexual’ as Estela did. The rainbow flag, though, was his favourite. In it he saw the jubilation of making it through a storm to something beautiful. Appropriate it was, that it meant so much to Diego, as he stepped out unafraid and loved. Varyyn looked at Diego, his husband, the love of his life; surrounded by a wall of friends, laughing on Taylor’s shoulder. He was truly radiant.

Varyyn put a hand on Raj’s shoulder. “Could I ask a great favour of you?”

“A personal favour for the elyyshar of the Vaanti? I think I can swing that….”

Taylor was chuckling as she ruffled her best friend’s hair. “So, how is it? Everything you dreamed of-- if you’d even dreamed you’d have the Knights’ bi legend Sean Gayle as part of your pride posse?”

“Pretty sure Past Diego would think you’d hit your head too hard if you’d tried to tell him this was coming. I mean, the time travel, the monsters, my best friend being some sort of knockoff ET, are unbelievable enough, but these kind of squad goals…? I…” Suddenly, he found himself choking up. If it was a life-altering adventure, he’d got it. What was left at the end of it was something that could never be truly grasped by outsiders, some bond, sacred even, that had helped him find his own strength. As he struggled to come to grips with the tatters that remained of his family life, it was that strength that would keep him afloat, and that bond that would see his heart start to heal. “I… didn’t think this feeling was possible for me.”

And Taylor hugged him tight. “You’d better get used to it, because you’re stuck with us. You deserve this. Just for being you… and also for being the world’s best wingman. The best thing that ever happened to me happened because you helped me believe in taking a leap. Diego Soto, I will never not owe you one,” she laughed.”So, for my next trick, I will pass you off to someone who wants his arms around you even more than I do. You’re welcome.

With a wink, Taylor spun Diego into Varyyn’s waiting arms, which draped an enormous rainbow flag around the two of them.

“My love,” Varyyn crooned,  “you bring my world more beauty than I believed possible. You showed me hope and light in my darkest hour. Diego, you are my rainbow.”

Cloaked in a fluttering of multicoloured fabric, they kissed, long and tender; the pounding of music and marching, the chants of ‘Variego!’ fading far into the background, beyond their own private euphoric celebration.

Varyyn came away slowly, his expression warm as he stared into a look of fierce affection. How could he ever have dreamed what had been held in store for him, when this lion-hearted storyteller was beyond anything Vaanu had yet shown him. A whispered ‘I love you’ from his beloved Diego set his heart, once again, all aflutter, dancing like the rainbow flag around their heads. “And I love you.”He quirked an eyebrow. “Best Pride ever?”

Diego gave a short laugh and pecked a kiss to his love’s gentle lips. “Best Pride ever.”

[lululawrence]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

All answers should be about works published in 2017.

I was tagged by @allwaswell16 and @londonfoginacup and @flamboyantommo and I feel like maybe someone else…so here I am lol also this got hella long, so i’m gonna put most of this under a cut.

1. List of works published this year: 

listen. believe it or not i published 40 fics this year. 40. in 2017. SO i’m gonna just…list them in chronological order, k? k. (this is why this is gonna have to have a read more)

1. Easy, Breezy, Beautiful 2. Bloody Mary 3. I Don’t Know What To Believe 4. The Day is Up and Calling 5. Bend Me, Shape Me with @a-writerwrites and @dimpled-halo 6. I Found a Love 7. That’s Not My Name 8. Be a Daymaker 9. Love Me Like You Do 10. What Happens Next 11. Validation 12. Cake, Phone, Harry 13. Same White Shirt 14. Now That It’s Over 15. A Word We’ve Only Heard 16. No Chance At All 17. (Make You Want To) Scream 18. Nothing Please Me More Than You 19. Let Me Make It Better 20. My Cup of Tea

21. (And Things Will Be) Hard at Times 22. Mistaken Identity with like the entire group chat  23. Wait for the End to Change 24. If It’s Meant To Be (It’ll Be, It’ll Be) 25. You Can Read Me Anything 26. (This Could Be Forever) Right Now 27. Will Love Be There 28. With You In Your Dreams 29. Couldn’t See Past Me, Till I Saw You 30. All I Want Is To Be Free 31. One Taste And He Want It 32. Better Walk That (Pap) Walk, Baby with @suddenclarityharry 33. Love So Soft 34. Got This Feeling In Our Souls 35. We’re Both Stubborn (Two Hearts in One Home) 36. Before I Knew That I Had Begun 37. A Real Work of Art 38. You Can’t Blame Me For Tryin’  39. Christmas at the Holly Lodge 40. You’ve Got My Heart

Okay, and now I’m exhausted. You still with me? Bless you.

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

@someonethatsfunny actually asked me a few months ago what work I’m most proud of, and I truly don’t know. I’m super proud of (Make You Want To) Scream, because bodyswap is hella hard to write, fam, and I DID IT. I’m proud of my reverse bang, All I Want Is To Be Free, because it was the first time I’d ever really teamed up with an artist like that. I wrote my first historical AU, my first ABO, my first cowrites, my first…A LOT of things, and all of them stretched me so incredibly so I’m not really sure which one I’m most proud of.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I dunno. I have some that I’ve forgotten I wrote this year, but I am still proud of it because have you ever published 40 fics in a year? Just the fact I was able to do that has me patting myself on the back, so yeah. There are some I don’t like as much, but I’m damn proud for what I was able to publish this year.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

They walked past a street performer, Louis completely focused on the church.  Rather than walking to the entrance though, Harry first guided Louis towards another corner.  

“This part here?  It’s completely black like this because it’s the only part of the building that remained standing after the bombing.  They were able to salvage it and recreate it as best they could to look like the original.”

Louis leaned in closer to Harry, as if he needed to physically feel him there with him.

“The Hofkirche and the Kreuzkirche are both incredible in their own way, and according to most, none of these churches can even begin to inspire you or impress you in the way that other cathedrals, like the Cologne Cathedral, do, but the Frauenkirche?”  Harry paused here as he tried to pull his thoughts together.  “I feel like she’s the perfect symbol of Dresden.  Of people in general.  So often we find ourselves having to rebuild and start from scratch when plans we had hoped and planned on fall through, but even if we are only left with some stones and the corner of the building, we can be strong again.”

Louis was no longer looking at the church but was looking at Harry.

“Well shit, Haz.  Is that what you said when you did your episode on Dresden?”

Harry rubbed his hand nervously through his hair before wrapping his arm around Louis’ shoulders.  Harry couldn’t help pulling Louis even closer than he already was, and Louis didn’t resist.  He moved his Döner to his right hand and wrapped his arm around Harry’s waist.

“No.”  Harry swallowed roughly before placing a soft kiss in Louis’ hair.  “No, that’s the special version only you get.”

Louis tilted his head back, his blue eyes studying Harry intently.  “I like that I get the special version,” he whispered.

From If It’s Meant To Be (It’ll Be, It’ll Be)

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

Oh gosh. I love so many different comments and there were some this year that truly brought me to tears, but some of my favorites were on Validation. It floors me still that people took what I wrote in a fic and started to actually put it into play in their lives. Something that I wrote inspired them to change how they approached some situations and that just…wow. Incredible. 

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Honestly, most of this year writing was my therapy. It was how I coped with everything life was throwing at me, but the hardest time for me writing wise was this month. I wasn’t feeling inspired, I was having a crazy hard time even carving out ten minutes to write, and I was exhausted all the time. Even with that, though, I was able to write two fics, so I’m proud of myself for pushing through. Especially since I now have five million ideas of things to write again haha

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Oof. Uhm…like everything? For real. So many times I was writing and things happened that I didn’t anticipate or plan for and it turned out better than I ever imagined.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

SO MANY WAYS. My big goal for writing this year was to write more, and HOLY MOTHER DID I WRITE MORE. In talking with @briannamarguerite, she mentioned once that writing is a muscle and it can be strengthened when you use it more, and through this year I absolutely agree. I started the year off with a challenge I did with a group of people who became incredible friends (shout out to wordplay peeps @a-writerwrites, @taggiecb, @becomeawendybird, @afirethatcannotdie, @dinosaursmate, @phd-mama, @londonfoginacup, and @allwaswell16!) to write a fic a week, all using the same one word prompt, and that kind of set up the average I ended up keeping through the rest of the year of publishing a fic about every week and a half. I also branched out on tropes I had never written before, tried co-writing, different structures for fics, etc. I feel like this year was a huge one for trying new things and going out of my comfort zone, so I’m actually really incredibly proud of myself for all the ways I feel like I grew this year.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I want to focus on the quality I’m putting out. I worked on quantity and telling myself I could do it, so now I want to focus a little more on editing myself really well. Being really happy with not just the story I’m putting out, but the way it’s written. I also am finally publishing a fic I’ve been working on, off and on, since 2015 next year, and that’s the longest fic I’ve written to date, so lots of ways for me to try to stretch myself still!

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Oh holy mother. @silentlarryshipper as a massive support for keeping me going at the beginning of the year for sure! I couldn’t have done this without her. All the wordplay peeps I mentioned above as well. @becomeawendybird, @gettingaphdinlarry, and @briannamarguerite for being the best, most brutal and thorough betas ever, I love all you guys SO DAMN MUCH! And without a doubt every last one of the ladies not already mentioned who were more than willing to yell encouragement at me, even when I was being ridiculous: @freetheankles, @dinosaursmate, @haloeverlasting, @indiaalphawhiskey, @dimpled-halo, @a-writerwrites, @suddenclarityharry, @londonfoginacup!

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Oh yes. My love story to Dresden has all my true feelings for the city, some of the ridiculous scenes from the mpregs i wrote are personal stories of my own, a lot of locations are from my own life, etc. 

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Don’t give up and find yourself a support crew! Having multiple writing support group chats was one of the best things to come out of this entire year for me. The other people you surround yourself with can make the biggest difference as to whether a project gets finished or not.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

oh yes! currently i have a to write or to publish list of:

wibbly wobbly, timey wimey fic (which might be my big bang after all)

a couple birthday fics to come

Marcel exchange fic

ABO exchange fic

a flicker album fic

a fic based off of Charlie Puth’s song attention

so we’ll see how that all turns out. lol

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read.

if you were tagged in this and haven’t done it already, please consider yourself tagged now! (or if you’re reading this and haven’t been tagged and want to, please tag me and say I told you to do it! I want to read your answers!!) OH and I would also love to hear from @justalittlelouislove :D

[lululawrence]

What I am writing...

I was tagged by @londonfoginacup and @allwaswell16 to list all my wips and my goodness.  i don’t have as many as some, but i’ve got enough to wonder if i’ll ever finish them all, so here we go... (this got longer than expected - as always - so i’ve put it under a cut hehe)

1. the next fic that will be posted is bodyswap pt 2 as i’m calling it, it’s really just the second chapter to (make you want to) scream.  i think i’ve talked about it enough so most everyone has an idea of what it’s about, but louis, 1/4 of one direction (the other members are niall, zayn, and liam), wakes up in some random dude’s body.  he doesn’t know how or why, and they have a concert that night so he has to find that dude and figure out how to get his own body back

2. i’m also actively working on a piece i’m calling 50s direction.  it’ll be told in “present day” (for them present is 1951) by niall and liam until the end, and there will be flashbacks to growing up through the 40s with povs from harry and louis.  it’ll be a bit painful with the time period’s homophobia and such, not to mention family issues, but hopefully the warmth of the piece overall will make up for all of that.

3. i’ve got a piece that i call my wibbly wobbly timey wimey fic because it starts out as a canon divergent fic where larry was never together, but otherwise the band history is the same and it starts during the break between otra legs in 2015, but after harry talks to louis and niall and learns their planned hiatus is going to be longer than just a year of no touring, he’s frustrated and the next morning wakes up in a flat he’s never seen before.  he’s now in an alternate universe where the boys all went to x factor but weren’t put together as a band, and he has to figure out how to get back home.

4. this piece i’m a bit nervous to say i’m working on and it may never get published (or finished for that matter), but it’s where louis works at an airport and harry is a young businessman who owns his own company.  long story short, they hook up for a night but wires get crossed and there’s miscommunication causing them to have to figure out how to get a hold of each other after that and yeah.  we’ll see if it ever gets finished.

5. i may have just plotted a fic last night with @hazzabooween regarding those fake animal facts signs at the zoo...all you need to know is harry is the zoo worker and louis is a bored older brother with his sisters at the zoo so he decides to spruce up visits for future patrons himself.

6. mpreg exchange.  can’t say anything about that, but it’s mpreg and if all turns out as i’m hoping for it to, then it’s going to be awesome and i can’t wait to be able to devote all of my energy towards it!

i think that’s everything, but honestly there might be more i’ve forgotten about at this moment haha but there you are!  hopefully these sound fun to y’all.  and i dunno who hasn’t done this yet, so i’ll just randomly tag writer friends and see if they’ve done it already or not lol!  @tommosgun, @alarrylarrie, @alivingfire, @alienproof, @letsjustsee, and @hazzabooween