#this feels like such an old man advice bucky idk

[burninblood]

I want to thank pinterest for bringing this back to my attention

[latergatorsworld]

Even When We Aren't Touching

Marc Spector x Reader

Tw- Drunkness, mentions of alcohol, kissing

Y/n had been crushing on Marc for a long time now. She didn't know that though. She thought she saw him in a just friends sort of way. She was wrong.

Marc had been longing to have Y/n by his side. He didn't know that though. He knew he was lonley but he didn't know the cure.

~Y/n Pov~

Just a few days ago, Y/n had come to the conclusion that she might like Marc. In a more than friends sorta way. But she didn't know how to prove her hypothesis. Instead she asked her closest friend, Yelena, for advice.

Y/n: Yelena

Yelena: what?

Y/n: How do you know if u like someone?

Yelena: idk, do I look like I've been in a romantic relationship before?

Y/n: Help meeeee idk what to do

Yelena: Based off what I've heard Bucky say about Sam, You need to see how you feel when you touch him.

Y/n: Touch him?!

Yelena: Get your mind out of the gutter.

Y/n: How am I gonna touch him tho? Touching someone without their consent is illegal.

Yelena: You've done many illegal things and this is the first time you're going to acknowledge something illegal?

Y/n: I don't remember doing anything illegal. If I don't remember, I didn't do it.

Yelena: Bullshit. Anywho, ask for consent. Consent is hot.

Y/n: I shouldn't listen to u but you're the only friend I have so fuck it

Yelena: That's my girl.

~Marc's pov~

Marc thought he liked Y/n. He didn't know if he was sure though. Sure, he couldn't get her out of his mind but that was normal right? Marc didn't know how to handle the situation so he talked to the hopless romantic and the Spanish man whore. He just needed a mirror.

Marc: Jake? Steven? You there?

Steven: I'm here, mate. It's a miracle that you checked if we were alive.

Jake: Si, presente, and what Steven said.

Marc: *eye roll* I have a question for you two.

Jake: Steven, do you think he's found out yet?

Steven: Well it is about time he has, it hurts to see how oblivious he is.

Marc: Know what? Have you been doing something behind my back? Did Jake go to the strip club again?

Jake: It was once! I didn't even know it was a stupid strip club!

Steven: That would be a no, mate.

Marc: Then? What is it?

Steven: Have you realized your crush? On Y/n to be specific.

Marc: Actually, I don't know if I like her or not.

Jake: Y sigue de pendejo este cabron. *face palm* You do.

Marc: I think I do but I'm not sure. How d I know if I like her?

Steven: Just approach her.

Marc: How?

Steven: Just get close to her, see if your heart beats fast when you're around her.

Jake: Wow. This is the first time i agree with one of you dumbasses. Surprisingly it wasn't Marc.

---- Time Skip ----

That afternoon Marc and Y/n decided to meet up at Steven's flat and just hang for a while. Jake and Steven kept on watching Marc's every move towards Y/n. They shipped it. Even though Steven is to old to know what shipping is. Anyways, Marc had taken a full hour getting ready for Y/n. He usually just took 5 minutes out of his day to get ready.

Y/n didn't take that much. She spent most time overthinking on how to prove her love hypothesis. Anyway, Y/n stood in front of the flat door re-overthinking everything. Like Y/n usually does. She finally built up the courage to knock on the door. It only took one knock for Marc to open the door.

"Y/n. Come in."

"Thanks." Said Y/n as she looked down at the floor. She noticed Marc more fancied up than usual, she liked it even though she still liked him as the man who only took 5 minutes getting ready.

Marc went over to the kitchen counter to pour out some drinks for him and Y/n. Steven and Jake looked at Marc from the reflection of a silver platter Steven had bought at an antique shop a week ago.

"Marc," began Jake, "could you take any longer? If you don't charm this lady I will."

"Jake, stop it." Said Marc as he turned to the platter.

"I'm sorry mate but you have to admit that he's right." Said Steven.

"Steven." Scolded Marc as Y/n stood clueless. She was aware of Marc situation but it didn't make her love him any less.

"Marc? Are you alright?" Asked Y/n.

"Mmm? Yes, I'm alright. There's nothing to worry about."

"Okay then."

They finished a whole bottle of wine together as they both thought of their fear to approach one another. They were drunk, obviously, but they were conscious. Steven had passed out do ti the amount of alcohol the body consumed. He had low tolerance. Jake on the other hand was still quite almost sober, this man could drink a whole bottle of throat burning tequila and be tipsy, not drunk but tipsy. Nobody knew how this man did it. Not even Steven who was a complete smarty pants.

Marc decided to take his alters advice and tried to approach Y/n. He stood infront of her. A few inches away.

"Marc-" Began Y/n.

"Hmm?" He hummed in response as he explored Y/n's eyes.

"Can I- can I touch you?"

"What?" That caught Marc off guard a bit.

"Can I touch you? I just wanna see if I like you or not."

"And what will happen of I let you touch me?"

"If I like you, my heart will beat fast. If I don't, then I won't feel anything."

"Hmm." He hummed as he stepped closer to her. "Don't you feel your heart race Y/n?" He proceeded to get closer to her, he made sure she was still comfortable though. It was exactly as Yelena had said, consent was hot. Even if it was unspoken.

Y/n's face was a blushing mess. It could be part of the effects of drinking but we all know it wasn't that. She was speechless. She inspected Marc over and over again. She saw deep into his dark brown eyes. She could never drown in his eyes, if you drown you die, she would never be dead in his eyes. His eyes were like her reason to live. She would live in his eyes forever, voluntarily.

"Y/n, doesn't your heart race?" Asked the man again.

"Yes. It does, but am I supposed to feel this way?"

"I think so, yeah. You should definitely feel this way."

"Does your heart race?"

"More than you could imagine."

He dragged one of her hands up to his chest, it was true, his heart did beat more than she could've imagined. The tension was real. They didn't want to do this drunk, they didn't want their first kiss to be filled with alcohol because Marc didn't think Y/n was conscious and Y/n didn't think Marc was conscious either. Can you blame them though? They cared for each other no matter their state or condition. It was love. It was care. Actually, it was more than that, greater than that. It was a feeling so ineffable to both of them because they had never felt it before.

They studied each other for some time as they yearned for a kiss. Marc then took one more step closer to Y/n.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yeah, it was about time you asked me that."

Their lips interlocked and Y/n's hands layed on Marc's chest. His hands were hesitant to grab her waist not wanting to take things further too fast. Instead, he cupped her face in his hands. The kiss was hungry and passionate, it was needy. They waited for this for too long. Their fantasies were reality. The kiss then became soft they didn't want to break off each other's lips. After wanting- no, needing this they didn't want it to end. But they knew that they didn't have to be touching for their hearts to race.

[scarletwidowaf]

Imagine that no power AU where Natasha falls for this cute artsy girl and slowly finds out (to her horror) that Wanda's not just some random artsy crafts girl who plays guitar, but the (adopted) Granddaughter of the owner of the company Natasha works for. As in oh, oh no, that's Carter's grandbaby, Carter's gonna kill me.

baby carter

Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff (scarlet widow \ wandanat)

warnings: cursing? Terrible grammar and writing maybe because my brain's having hard time.

A\N: soft scarlet widow- Natasha being awkward and charming and Wanda being absolutely adorable. also, I honestly don't know what I feel bout it - I think it's kinda messy especially compared to my latest work.

words: idk... a lot? 

masterlist

Natasha's been working in carter's Law Firm for almost 3 years now, slowly climbing up the company's hierarchical food chain, yet not enough to get the well-deserved promotion she was aching to get.

Not that she was ungrateful, hell no. not long after she graduated she got the job in carter's, which was one of the best and strongest law firms in the market. This means that not only that she found herself working alongside some of the best lawyers in the world, she truly couldn't complain about the paycheck she was getting every month.

Natasha wasn't ungrateful, but she was driven and she knew she was great at her job, hell, she was the best young lawyer in her class, yet, after 3 years in the firm, she was still working under Coulson. Which naturally means, she did a lot of dirty work instead of representing her own cases. Working with Coulson was great, really, the man was nice, sweet, a bit nerdy at times, and of course, such a great lawyer. Looking back, Natasha should give him credit for many things she achieved in the last 3 years, and one of them was meeting the love of her life- the one and only Wanda Maximoff.

One Thursday evening, as she was just finishing up some paperwork at the firm's office in New York, she got a call from Coulson, who let her know they were cutting the day short following personal constraints.

Instead of going straight home to rest after the brutal week, as she probably should've done, she decided to text Steve and Tony to see if they were free. luckily for her, her two best friends were willing to sacrifice any plans they had for this fine Thursday night, to celebrate the rare occasion of Natasha getting out of the firm before 8 pm.

The bar steve chose was nice, rather quiet and chill. Naturally, tony didn't seem to be a fan of the blonde's choice, but since it was Steve's turn to choose a place there wasn't much he could've done about it.

"We should sit near the stage" Steve said as he spotted an empty table at the other side of the bar, near the stage.

"What's wrong with you rogers? Do you want us to sit near the stage where random people will try to squick their hearts out to a Celine Dion song?" Tony sneered out, his eyes shooting daggers at the blonde as they sat.

"It's not a karaoke bar, tony" Natasha defended steve's choice.

"Yeah, this bar hosts young talented artists, I think it's awesome and refreshing" the blonde explained.

"I still hate it" tony said.

"We don't care" Natasha said as a waitress came to the table.

Over an hour and a half later, 3 performances were over and two bawls of fries as well, the next artist got onto the stage.

The woman was young, probably younger than Natasha, and beautiful.

She was dressed rather simply compared to the other artists, just a plain white T and an old pair of skinny jeans.

Natasha noticed that some strands of her dark brown hair got stuck under her red guitar's strap.

The woman was smiling nervously as she introduced herself to the crowd and Natasha couldn't help but send her an encouraging small smile.

Surprisingly for her, the woman smiled back.

Tony and steve noticed it as well and they exchanged knowing looks.

The singer's voice was almost as beautiful as her.

Her fingers softly strumming on the frets- as almost as it was second nature, while her soft angelic voice filled the room, sending chills through Natasha's body.

Natasha smiled when she noticed how quiet the bar became, everyone seemed to be enchanted by the young singer.

When the singer finished her preference she smiled brightly to the audience, who cheered for her loudly- as she deserved, and got off the stage.

Natasha noticed the poor singer who was supposed to try and top her incredible performance. He seemed miserable.

"Earth to nat!?" Tony waved his hand in front of Natasha. The redhead blinked twice before tearing her attention from the singer and to her friends.

Steve was smiling at her, his eyes glittering in enthusiasm, while tony smirked at her with raised eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, what?" She asked.

Steve laughed and tony sigh.

"We said that she was really good" the blonde explained

"Not that you haven't noticed it, you've been practically drooling," Tony said.

"I was not" she defended herself

"You were," he said. "But we don't judge you Romanoff, its natural, she was pretty and you didn't get laid in a while. Plus- You always had a thing for the innocent looking ones" he explained and Natasha sent him her dirtiest glare.

If a look could kill tony stark would've been dead by now.

"Okay first, I wasn't drooling. Second, fuck you"

"Nice comeback" tony taunted her with a smirk, knowing full well he wasn't completely wrong.

"You should ask her out. You seem to like her"

Steve smiled at her and Natasha knew he meant it- he was was always the sweetest one of the three.

"Fancy her" tony corrected steve.

"She Like her" steve raised his eyebrow at his friend.

"Fancy" tony taunted

"Li-" steve was about to argue again until Natasha cut the stupid argument off.

"Fuck off you too," she said and waved to the waiter, hoping that another beer might make the two less annoying.

When the waiter didn't come, Natasha got frustrated, her two friends started to argue over another idiotic thing: steve's lack of love life and tony's girlfriend's lack of taste In men.

"I'm gonna get a refill," she said as she got up. The two sent her quick okays before getting back to their bickering.

When Natasha approached the bar she noticed a familiar face.

The singer was sitting in front of the bar's counter with a glass of mojito. She seemed to be having a polite conversation with the bartender.

"Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt but can I have a refill?" Natasha asked the bartender. The man smiled at her and nodded before he replaced her empty cup with a new one.

The singer smiled at her softly again- Natasha smiled nervously at her.

"I'm Natasha" Natasha said awkwardly to the girl, her cheeks flushed.

Wanda smiled back at her "hey Natasha, I'm Wanda" Wanda, the singer said as she held out her hand for a handshake.

Natasha took her hand, praying to whatever god exist that her hand wasn't sweaty.

'What's wrong with me?' She thought as she mentally faces palmed herself.

"I liked your performance," Natasha said and Wanda smiled at her.

Natasha smiled back, happy she had the privilege to be the reason the singer smiled.

"Thank you" wanda thanked her.

"I saw you at the front line," Wanda said and Natasha nodded.

"Yeah, my friend likes this place. He chose the table" she admitted.

"That's nice, I'm guessing it's your first time in here"

"Yeah, it is actually. Was I that obvious?" Natasha joked and Wanda laughed.

"Just a little bit," Wanda said with a smile "what do you think about it so far?"

"It's really nice, honestly" Natasha admitted.

"Yeah, I think that as well. I come here often with my cousin and brother but its the first time I was on stage"

"Well, you were great. Seriously. You were" she started before gazing at the stage briefly, catching the sight of the young singer who went up after Wanda. "sorry, are- the best singer" she continued and Wanda blushed.

"Thank you it means a lot"

"Anytime," Natasha said back

"I should really go... It was lovely meeting you Natasha." Wanda said as she checked the time, a small frown on her lips.

"You too," Natasha said.

Wanda nodded at her before getting up and turning around from Natasha to pull her guitar.

when Natasha took a small sip from her beer she catches the bartender's eye.

The guy was giving her the 'are you kidding me?!' look- who was a well-known look she was familiar with from years of friendship with tony.

"Hey Wanda-" Natasha said to Wanda, who was about to walk away. The singer turned back around with a small confused smile.

"Yeah?" She asked

"Would you like to, maybe, I don't know.. go out sometime?" Natasha stuttered.

'Did I just fucking stuttered!?' She mentally kicked herself.

"Yeah.. id like that" Wanda said with a smile. The brunette took a pen out of her jeans pocket and scribble something on Natasha's arm.

"Call me," Wanda said with a smile before she smiled at the bartender, who tried to look busy with anything but them.

"Bye bucky" she laughed at his antics and left.

Natasha looked up from the scrabble on her hand, who was- of course Wanda's number with a small heart at the bottom, and exchange looks with bucky the bartender.

"That went well, right?" She asked him dumbfounded and he laughed before handing her a shot glass with vodka.

"Yeah it did.. friendly advice, don't fuck it up" he said as passed her a slice of lemon.

Natasha downed the shot, nodded at him as she took her beer, and left the lemon on the counter. Her legs taking her back to her table. both of her friends were staring at her with wide eyes.

"Hell yeah Romanoff!" Tony said excitedly.

Natasha smiled at tony before looking at steve with a chuckle "the bartender is your type" she said as she set.

Steve gave her a 'are you kidding me look before his eyes traveled from her to the bartender at the bar.

----------------------ᱬ----------------------

Not long after Natasha and Wanda met again, a few times actually. 10 minutes into their first date, Natasha knew she was in trouble.

Wanda was completing Natasha on almost every level she thought about.

Wanda was carefree and dorky as Natasha was a stressed workaholic.

Wanda liked homemade meals and cooking while Natasha was practically living on boxed mac and cheese or takeout.

Natasha loved to binge movies and random tv shows into the night while Wanda liked getting up early to watch the sunrise.

Wanda loved fruity alcoholic drinks while Natasha preferred it clean.

Wanda was a splash of color in Natasha's black and white life.

Not long after, Natasha asked wanda to be her girlfriend- it happened in a month and a half after their first meeting as the two women laid in Wanda's bed, naked and sweaty with their limbs intertwined.

She could've done it more romantic, but both girls truly couldn't give a damn about it.

Wanda's apartment was incredible.

The studio apartment was big and bright.

The apartment's walls color was cream and the tall window frames were covered with white curtains.

In the beginning, Natasha didn't really understand why wanda even bother to use these curtains since the sun would light the room either way, (she found out about this terrible trait when she first stayed over and found herself awake and cursing under her breath at 7 am) But, luckily for her, Natasha learned rather fast why the younger girl's windows where ALWAYS covered. It was simple, really.

Wanda had this habit to walk around the apartment half-naked, or completely naked on better days, and as much as Natasha was grateful for that (and she was), she truly wasn't the one to share, especially not the image of her naked girlfriend as she walked around the apartment or squirmed under her touch on the bed- or anywhere they chose, really.

"Nat?" Wanda whispered softly as she was playing with her sleepy girlfriend's hair and spread soft kisses on her back.

"Hm?" Natasha hummed, half asleep.

"There's something I need to tell you" Wanda said softly. Her voice barely a whisper.

"Is everything okay, baby?" Natasha asked as she turned around to face the taller woman.

Natasha's eyebrows were tightened together in worry and Wanda couldn't help but kiss her on the nose.

"Yeah" she whispered and Natasha waited patiently for her to continue "it's just that.. there's something I need to tell you... about my family"

"Okay.." Natasha encouraged her to continue.

"My family-" she started, but got cut off by Natasha's phone buzzing on the nightstand.

"Fuck" Natasha cursed before turning around to check who it was- and if she can ignore it.

The name on the screen was definitely a sight she could not ignore.

"Just a second baby, it's my boss" she said as she pulled herself up to answer the phone. by doing so, Natasha missed wanda's guilty lip bite.

----------------------ᱬ----------------------

That's how things went for another month. In this month Natasha got the promotion she wanted which meant she was enthusiastic for days later- and Wanda couldn't bear the thought of ruining it for her.

And that's how it went overtime.

Every time Wanda manage to muster enough courage to tell Natasha whatever she wanted to say, something happened and ruined it.

But jean Racine was indeed right: 'there are no secrets that time does not reveal', and unfortunately for both women, wanda's secret got revealed in a rather unpleasant and awkward situation.

It was a pretty normal day for Natasha.

Or at least it started as one. she spent the night at Wanda's again, which means she had a hard time leaving bed in the morning but she managed it so now, a few hours later, she was having lunch at a deserted meeting room with a few friends from the office

"hey, nat.. is that your girlfriend??" Sam asked, his eyes following a girl who passes near the glass door.

"Wanda?" Natasha asked him confused.

They weren't supposed to meet today for lunch, didn't they?

"Do you have another girlfriend I'm not aware of?" He asked

"Shut up Wilson, why would Wanda be here!?"

"I don't know Romanoff, she's your girlfriend. All I can say is that she seemed to be in a deep conversation with Sharon"

"Carter?"

"the one and only" Carol whispered and Gamora rolled her eyes at the girl.

"Will you stop being weird?" Gamora asked and Carol shook her head.

"Why would she have a conversation with Sharon fucking Carter" Natasha asked confused

"Maybe you should ask her...?” the man asked

"Oh shit I think they're coming over here, pretend to be busy," Carol said as she dived back into her salad.

The others do the same as well.

A few moments later the glass door was pulled open by Sharon.

Her smile wide.

"Hey guys" Sharon said as she opened the door and git into the room, wanda following behind-

Probably unaware of her girlfriend's presence until moments later when their eyes met.

Wanda looked like she was about to die.

"Wanda?" Natasha asked. Her eyebrows knitted together.

"Wait, You know each other?" Sharon asked as she turned to the brunette

"Yeah-" she started

"How do you guys know each other" Natasha cut her girlfriend off. Her eyes were still wide with confusion.

"We're cousins" the blonde explained and Wanda bit her lip.

Natasha stared at her girlfriend, hoping to get an explanation from her.

"Wait how do you to know each other"

"She's my girlfriend," Wanda said softly as Natasha got up from her chair.

Sharon's eyes were wide "didn't see that coming" she muttered

"Tell me about that" Natasha said, more to her girlfriend than to her boss.

"I'm going out for a smoke," she said simply before leaving the room.

"Nat-" Wanda started as she followed her, leaving the other remaining members of the room confused.

"Really?" Sharon asked again.

"Well, that was something," sam said and gamora nodded.

"That's classic," Carol said as she quietly laughed to herself

Meanwhile, at the elevator, things were going less smoothly for the couple.

"You're my boss's niece and you didn't think about telling me this?" Natasha shot at Wanda as the elevator door opened and the two went outside.

"I was trying to tell you, nat. I swear. That was the thing I tried to tell you about this whole month But every time I tried to something happened" Wanda explained as Natasha lit her cigarette.

"Why didn't you say anything when we started dating and got to know each other?" Natasha asked.

The lawyer wasn't sure if she was more hurt by the fact Wanda kept this secret from her or terrified by the fact she was dating her boss's niece

"Because I didn't want you to look at me the way you look at me right now" Wanda defended herself.

"How do I look at you wanda?" Natasha asked hurt.

"Like I'm no longer the same artsy girl you met at the bar" Wanda whispered

Natasha laughed bitterly

"Come on Wanda you know I don't give a shit about it. I love you and the fact you're a carter won't change it. You are the same artsy girl from the bar, who happened to be my boss's nephew. You should've said something."

"You're right, I shouldn't have kept this away from you. It was destined to get out eventually and the last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you" Wanda took the cigarette out of Natasha's lips.

"I made a mistake and I can't change it."

Wanda continued and Natasha sigh

"I wanted you to know me, and I was scared you'll judge me or see me as a carter like most people do."

Wanda put her hand on Natasha's cheek and Natasha kissed her palm, encouraging her to continue her speech.

"Fuck, nat, I'm not even in this business- yeah they're my family but that's it. the only other connection I have to this firm is the fact I'm in love with one of its lawyers" Natasha's eyes lit up and Wanda blushed furiously.

"You're in love with me?" Natasha asked as she played pulled her girlfriend closer, A small cocky smile on her lips as Wanda rolled her eyes

"For someone so fucking smart you can be so dense sometimes," Wanda said and Natasha laughed "Of course I do moron."

"I love you too," Natasha said before kissing Wanda softly on the lips.

"Can you forgive me, then?"

"It depends," Natasha said with the best poker straight face she could muster.

"On?" Wanda asked with her eyebrow raised.

"Is there any other relative- who can fire my ass, I need to know about?"

Wanda smiled kissed Natasha's lips deeply.

"No!" She said when they broke away and the two laughed.

Natasha wiped away the younger woman's tears before kissing her lips again. This time softly.

"Good, now if you don't mind maximoff. My break's over and I should really get back before your cousin will fire my ass"

"Well technically.. she's my cousin in law, I'm peggy's grandchild, adopted one, and she's her nephew" Wanda explained

"Can she fire my ass?" Natasha asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well.. yeah..?"

"Then my point still stands.

"Shut up Romanoff! you and I both know Sharon won't' fire your ass' because you're the best lawyer in this damn place" wanda argued

"Who fucks her cousin..-"

"You're right.. she might fire you" wanda joked and took her girlfriend's hand in hers.

"Or murder me" Natasha continued as her girlfriend pulled her back into the building and to the elevator.

"Yeah" Wanda laughed when they got into the elevator and the doors closed.

Wanda kissed Natasha's lips softly before pressing the button of their destined floor. "Or murder you"

[idga-buck]

Some and Others, 1/?

Bucky wasn’t looking for a relationship, he was looking for a good night’s sleep, but when he found you he got more than he bargained for.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 5,758

Content: swearing, soft smut (18+ only), Bucky being clueless, IW and EG just didn’t happen? idk, everyone’s alive and living in the compound #classic, also me fitting in a bunch of information that probably wasn’t necessary for the first chapter but what’s a story without a sturdy foundation?

After a mission, Bucky is some kind of way. Steve is too careful with him, but he doesn’t exactly blame the captain. Plus as an uncommissioned officer, 70 years without promotion, who is he to disagree. Maybe he isn’t ready for a life of avenging. Certainly isn’t ready for the questions that will follow another sleepless night, so Bucky didn’t stay in. He went out.

His memory wasn’t what it used to be, but Bucky recognized your street the second he’d stepped onto it. He’d parked his bike in the grassy alley on his right, gotten coffee at the Caribbean supermarket across the street when he finally left that afternoon. Technology wasn’t his strong suit, despite his depth of interest in it. There was etiquette and a way to do things that were as nuanced as they were mysterious. Bucky often wondered if people just lived by their own set of rules, leaving everyone else in the dark and only interacting with the persistent few who engaged correctly. He didn’t have the patience for that sort of thing. Shuri reminded him of that more than he cared for, but in terms of debts owed, he could smile through her jokes for a lifetime after the second chance she’d given him.

Bucky Barnes was a ladies man… at some point in his life, but more accurately, his life had been colored with women stronger than him since the day he was born. His mother was the first to hold him, followed shortly after by the older sister who tried to sell him to the milkman. Luckily Mr. Spenser wasn't in the market for a throw away babe and Bucky got to grow up in a house dominated by women. His sister, his mother, his grandmother with the accent that was just gibberish outside of their living room, the two more sisters that were welcomed in after him, though he’d never dream of bartering them away for bubble gum. They were all loud, but kind and could always bring a smile to his face. Even still. Rebecca, the most distant in age, but the closest in spirit, was still living. His baby sister was all grown up to the point of growing back down, shrinking in on herself the way old women do. Bucky made regular trips to the Alzheimer’s care center, sitting with her and loving her as only a brother could. Though her recollection of recent history was gone, Rebecca Barnes could still pinpoint the exact moment that all her girlfriends fell in love with her brother, which made Bucky shake his head and laugh. Her CNAs were worried for her mind when Rebecca introduced them to her big brother, looking closer to a man in his 30s than a man from the 30s, but he assured them that she was correct. He hadn’t changed a bit, she told him with two wrinkled hands on his cheeks. In appearance, not as much as he should have, but in all the other ways people usually mean, Bucky couldn’t feel more disconnected from the man he was when Rebecca was all bright eyes and secret kisses under the corner store awning. Bucky had no problem leveling those boys with a stare back then, but now most of them wouldn’t think twice before using their canes as a switch across his shins just for cocking an eyebrow in their direction. Talking to his mother wasn’t possible anymore and his sister wasn’t in a state to give out girl advice. Shuri was on another continent. Natasha… was Natasha and he would never ask for her help with something like this. Wanda was usually awake late at night when he was, but she was still so young.

Bucky looked up from the street, noting your second floor windows were dimly lit. Golden squares stood out against the bricks, blackened by the late hour, and through the gauzy curtains he spotted movement. Without his mother to advise against it or Shuri to give him something better to do, Bucky reached for his phone and scrolled through the recent calls. You’d called yourself before he left, but thinking that he wouldn’t see you again, Bucky hadn’t actually saved the number. Something of a bad habit, he noted, scrolling through lines and lines of unrecognized and unsaved phone numbers, hoping he’d just know it when he saw it. He didn’t.

Until one appeared on its own, presenting him a choice. Answer or reject. A simple question with unknown consequences. Rejecting the call seemed safer, so Bucky pressed the red circle and resumed his search.

“Weren’t you a spy or something?” Your voice drew Bucky’s eyes up from his phone screen to the now open window above his head. You were leaning out a bit, the posture helping your voice to carry over the surprisingly still busy street.

“Somethin’,” he grinned, pocketing the useless device. Both hands secured in his jacket, Bucky tipped back on his heels to get a better look at you. “Gonna invite me up?”

You shrugged and planted your palms against the window sill to lift yourself up. Even from that angle, Bucky was transfixed by your cleavage. Subtle under the tank top you wore, but he remembered it fondly. As if you could hear his thoughts, your arms snapped closed over your chest, bringing the colorful wings of a kimono with them, shielding yourself with floral patterns and defensive body language that made him take a step backwards. “You didn’t call…” you said and though accurate, your accusation made Bucky regret what he was about to do. After waking from the best night’s sleep of his life, he said he’d call you. No amount of self love could bring that much refreshment into his life and the feeling of waking up after a deep and dreamless sleep was enticing enough. The sex was good for a one off sort of thing, Bucky would even say great, but the sleep that came after… he hadn’t been able to replicate it yet. The lure of a good night's sleep and the softness of your body against all of his rough edges were too strong to stop him now. He was committed to this indiscretion, but before he could defend himself, you’d moved on, already smiling again. “And you just ignored my call.”

Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed and lifted in quick succession before he pulled the phone from his pocket again. Saved. And for good measure, he pulled it up to his ear again. You frowned, turning away from the window, presumably to look for your phone. The glass slid shut behind you and Bucky bounced on the balls of his feet while he waited for the metallic purr in his ear to be replaced by something even better.

“What are you doing?” You said over the line.

“Hey, it’s Bucky-“ he heard you stifle your own laughter with a choked ‘oh my god’ in the background. “Remember me?” You hummed and Bucky waited with his eyes on your window. When you didn’t return, he kept talking. “I know it’s late, but I was just in the neighborhood-“ another quiet giggle made him smile as he spoke. “You up?”

“Is this Bucky Barnes’ first booty call?” You asked.

“I guess it is…” he said, half his mouth curving up even though you couldn’t see it. “How’m I doin’ so far?” There was a pause and Bucky started moving toward your door on instinct. It was illogical to think something had happened in those few seconds, but after the day he’d had Bucky didn’t feel confident ruling it out. “Making me nervous out here, doll.”

“You’re doing just fine,” you assured him and Bucky leaned back against the door in relief. “I was about to go to bed… but since you came all this way-“ the end of your sentence was cut off by the loud buzzing in his ear as the lock on the door disengaged from above. Bucky stepped into the first hall, street lamp making the small row of Golden mailbox fronts glitter, and leisurely took the first few steps up. “Better hurry,” you sighed and Bucky stopped, foot hovering over the next step. “Door’s unlocked and I’m already naked.” Bucky was in your apartment and snapping all three locks into their closed position before you’d had the chance to hang up from his impromptu phone call.

You fucked him slowly that night. The rush he felt taking your stairs two at a time dissipated once he was in your bedroom. It wasn’t as frantic or fumbling as it had been the first time and Bucky was happy for the change. When he’d followed you home from the bar, it seemed that both of you had an understanding. One night only, so make it count. It was hard and fast, but so so good. Even the next morning’s repeat and the finale in your shower before he finally pulled away sated had been more like back to back sprints than whatever this gentle marathon was. As if you could feel the stress that Bucky needed to let go of, you moved carefully around him. Totally bare in the bluish glow of the bathroom plug in that lit the scene before him, you took your time undressing Bucky and placing his hands back at his sides whenever he tried to help move things along. When you dropped to your knees, leaving him open and vulnerable standing naked in the middle of your bedroom, he made a sort of wounded noise that made him want to bolt, but didn’t seem to bother you. If anything it spurred you on, drawing more whispers from his rosebud lips until he couldn’t take it anymore. For the first time in his life, Bucky begged for more attention. Not the teasing he did on street corners- come on, baby, you’re breaking my heart here- when a dame tried extra hard to resist his charm. This was real pleading as if he thought he’d die frozen in place without your heat to revive him.

He’d made the right choice. Bucky decided while lying across your bed, one hand twisted up in your pillow case while the other was splayed across your bare thigh, that he’d done the right thing coming to you for this. He could have gone back to that bar or a different one and gone home with another girl just like he had with you, but then he’d be missing the view from under you. Having a new girl everytime Bucky found himself feeling restless sounded exhausting. He’d also determined that his mother would be incredibly disappointed in him if he had rows and rows of unsaved phone numbers from girls that didn’t know they were being used. Finally and maybe most importantly in that moment, Bucky didn’t want to start over with someone brand new. He liked your crumpled linen sheets, liked the smell of ink from the printing studio beneath your apartment. While you rode him to mutual satisfaction, he liked the way your hips rolled sensually over his, liked the slick grind and the dull bite of your nails against his stomach. He liked that after your first, when he asked you to slow down again and extended his hands to you, you took each of them without hesitation. Supporting your weight on outstretched arms, Bucky got to enjoy your hands in his while you gasped out a second. If it had been your first time sleeping together, you’d probably be too prideful or embarrassed to admit that you were tired. He wouldn’t have gotten to hear that whine when you asked if he was close and he replied -smugly- not at all. If it had been your first time together, he’d probably be too prideful or embarrassed to ask you how you wanted him. He wouldn’t know how sweet it felt to have your back pressed up against his chest and he wouldn’t have known to turn you onto your side so he could slip in from behind you. Bucky was so comfortable in your bed with your knee hitched up over his hip, body totally open to his roaming hands. He made the right choice coming back to you and as he finished with a grunt, both arms wrapped around you tight while your arm was bent over his head, gripping his hair with the perfect amount of tension, he’d already decided to make it again.

The next morning, Bucky was refreshed, feeling like a brand new man. That was the feeling he’d been chasing last night or rather very early that morning, but the tightening in his lower body followed by ultimate release was a fine way to get there. Just like last time, he’d woken up alone only to find you in the bathroom, washing sleep from your eyes and fixing your face. His enhanced hearing meant he could listen to the tap running and the echoing “puh” of you spitting into the sink without having to open his eyes. Comfortable and naked against your pillows letting the familiar sounds tell the story of your morning routine. He didn’t mind waiting as long as you crawled back in beside him like last time. Bucky only peeked twice before he heard the zipper of your makeup bag close and the magnet on your medicine cabinet snap shut behind the mirror. You were back with him in a moment and he turned toward your scent, aloe fresh deodorant and sharp minty breath beckoned him closer and he hummed against your lips. If he cared to move, he’d swallow down the remainder of your mouthwash then swap cool kisses until his tongue tingled against yours, but he was so comfortable. Even more so once you’d laid across his chest, bumping your nose and chin against his until he opened his eyes. Bucky dropped his arms heavily across your back, keeping you planted against him, though you hadn’t struggled or made any moves to leave him. He couldn’t have that with someone new. If he swapped your number for someone else’s, he’d have to flirt and wade through the post sex awkwardness again. He’d have to go out more and hope his charm would work on another. He’d have to perform for them the way he had for you the first two times. The third, in your shower, was messy and wet and fun despite the soap in his eyes, which you wiped away for him while his hands were occupied by holding you up. He wouldn’t have that with someone new until he made it happen and frankly he didn’t want to make it happen. Not yet. Not when you were still cute and still into him and still happy to hear from him even at 2 in the morning when he looked like a creep under your window. Why trade all that just to say he could have another then another? Sex was good. That morning stuff was good too. If it was the orgasm that made him feel alive again, then the warmth of your bed and your lips drifting lazily down his chest was what made life worth living. One gal was enough for him. You were enough.

Bucky hadn’t even noticed that he was drifting off again until you spoke. He didn’t hear you, but he sure it didn’t matter and responded with some ta sentiment of his own. “Thanks. For this.”

“Thank you,” you corrected and he smirked at that, eyes still blissfully closed. “Hey, uh— Bucky…” You sounded nervous and he had to force his eyes open at the sound of your voice shaking around his name. You must have noticed his sudden concern and placed a hand soothingly over his chest. “I just…” you bit your lip and Bucky watched the wheels churn behind downturned eyes. It was sweet, the way you could flip from bold and sexy to this. An errant curl fell out of its place and he felt the desire to pull that twisty rebel between two fingers before moving it back to follow the part you’d intended all the up to his second knuckle. Your hair was the kind he wanted to touch over and over. Not because it was your hair per se, but rather because it didn't have that acrid home perm smell or a hundred little pins holding it in place like his sisters and the other girls he ran around with. They spent hours on their waves and rolls, but you flipped a fist full to one side, fluffing it with your fingers when you wanted his attention and damn if it didn’t work everytime. Before he knew it, a vibranium finger against your temple, following the curve of your ear. Your stunned look made Bucky chuckle. He even patted your cheek in encouragement. After a beat, you were gathered again. Another breath and you spoke. “I just wanted to say, I don’t really do this sort of thing.” His eyebrow shot up at that and you scrambled to correct yourself. “Not this,” you half laughed then gestured to his naked body and yours, hardly clothed. “The bringing strangers home from bars thing. I definitely wasn’t expecting to see you again- not that I didn’t love it- I just didn’t want you to think-“

“I think you’re amazing,” he said quickly to assure you he didn’t think anything else. He wouldn’t either. Couldn’t even imagine anything else after making an ass of himself at your first meeting. He’s felt so out of place and vulnerable and ridiculous trying to take you home the night you’d met, but you hadn’t made him feel wrong or silly for it. For that alone he was grateful. For the sex that followed, even more so. You’d met him with just enough teasing to keep him engaged, but not so much that he felt like he was an unwanted addition to your night and whenever his eyes drifted away like he wanted to run and forget the whole stupid idea, you gently guided him back, eyes and words making it clear that you wanted him too. It was a mutual feeling of desire, as simple as it was complicated. Bucky wanted to keep it simple though, if for no other reason than to keep seeing your awkward smile duck into his neck at the eagerness in his voice. He touched your face again and repeated himself. “I don’t think anything… just that I’m glad I met you… and I’d like to keep seeing you.”

You smiled at him and whatever silliness he felt in his confession evaporated. It was the right thing to say. You sighed and leaned in again like you were going to kiss him, before stopping short and looking up at him through your lashes. “I don’t think I can say no to you.”

“Then don’t,” he said, but it felt like begging again as he hoisted you higher up on his chest to kiss you again. The conversation was over and if you weren’t going to say no to him, then he wanted to start his morning with as many breathy yeses as he could get.

Random serendipitous encounters became less random and serendipitous with every passing week. Bucky was feeling lighter, yet somehow more whole. Boy, did he need that. A woman’s lovin’ will do that for you. He vaguely recalls one soldier or another making similar remarks while he was in Italy. Bucky’s blue eyes belonged to the nurses back then, as his own innocence slowly died with each body dropped by his own marksmanship. This new world, new century he now had to navigate was so different. His enemies weren’t always flesh and blood, even the ones that did bleed bled out in black and blue not Nazi red. Aliens, other worldsmen, some very human psychos with eerily familiar ideologies about who was of value and who was not. Bucky fought next to his friend, spilling blood of all colors when necessary, bearing the stains that Captain America couldn’t as a paragon of justice and honor. Then when the ringing in his ears got too loud, he sought you out. Over and over again. He never showed up unannounced and you always answered his call, even when you shouldn’t. You truly didn’t know how to say no to him and he truly didn’t want you to.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Bucky knew it wasn’t love, but he didn’t care. It felt good and it felt right and against his better judgment it helped him sleep at night, knowing you were only a half turn away, hugging your pillow, but content to wrap your arms around him instead as long as he asked. And he asked. When he wasn’t in your bed, it helped him stay sane, knowing that someone in the world was waiting on him, caring from a distance, maybe praying for his return. In the Big War, his mother prayed for him. His sisters too. In these mini wars, fought stealthily around the globe, he had you.

Rebecca was still blessedly alive, but his baby sister only remembered him when she saw his face. He would bet that you remembered him even as he schlepped through the mountains of Siberia for the last time. Always Siberia. Evil men must be allergic to sunlight. Sam had jokingly asked him why he always went back and Bucky had jokingly thrown the Falcon’s coffee away, leaving Sam’s hand empty and his mouth full of indignant teeth sucking. That briefing was blessedly brief and Sam didn’t need the rest of his coffee anyways. The flight via jet was longer, but not as horrible as it could have been. Steve’s sympathetic glances were unbearable. It’s the last time, Buck. Yeah, OK. The mission was a success, if you could call it a mission. Sam spun magnificently through the mouth of a cave while Bucky fired back into it, detonating the whole mountainside and leaving this particular Cold War remnant under an avalanche of snow and well kept secrets, never to be reborn. Steve dealt with the press. He had the face for it. Reputation too. Sam soaked up the due praise that came along with it, the next Captain America with his wings and his wit to carry avenging into the 21st century. Bucky, however, peeled off his heavily armed get up and peeled out of the compound without any formal announcement.

When Bucky left for long periods, most assumed he was doing what Steve Rogers would do. Ride around in his bike, traipse through the old neighborhood noting how much it changed. Captain America was the old man, the icon. He had the luxury of wandering. Bucky hadn’t gone anywhere without a mission in mind since the 40’s. He was a soldier, a weapon and while his mind could no longer be weaponized against him, Bucky was still the guy taking care of things that just wouldn’t wash out of Captain America’s shiny cowl. So when he left the compound, no one asked questions. At least not directly to him, something he was thankful for on the hour or so ride to your place. The Bronx apartment was considerably closer than a nostalgic walk through Brooklyn and he got a lot more out of it. He had no mission in Brooklyn, but you were waiting for him and that was enough.

This particular mission was no different. Steve asked him to stay on site and he declined politely as he could without actually stopping to talk to his friend. Natasha called out his hurried steps and followed him halfway to the garage before giving up at his request. It was glaringly obvious to Bucky how they got along so well. Steve and Natasha were quite the pair. Tenacious friends, like the kind of friends that never give up and definitely won’t let you give up on yourself. He saw it in her fierce allegiance and protectiveness over Clint. Now that Steve was huge and well connected in the Avenging community, Bucky supposed that made him the Barton to Steve’s Romanoff. They were insufferable do gooders too. Sure, Natasha had her fair share of red in her ledger, but once she was with the good guys, she was the best of them. Neither one would hesitate to throw themselves on a grenade or over a cliff if it meant someone else’s chance to live. They were do it or die trying people. Sam was… Sam was Sam. And when he spotted Bucky making a beeline to the exit, he just waved and shouted “have a good ride.” The wink was uncalled for and made Bucky question how much Sam really knew. He was a deadly intuitive little shit and despite Bucky’s best attempts not to even think it… one of the best people he’d ever known. Not that he felt the need to tell Sam that. He probably already knew it. Blessedly, Bucky ran into no other superheroes on his way through the compound. The garage, more like a hangar, was empty. Only the most expensive toys in Tony Stark’s arsenal and a high tech key coded workshop that Bucky felt so out of place in he kept a small tool box of his own so he wouldn’t have to wander through it. God forbid he go digging for a socket wrench and laser one of his fingers off. Anything was possible on Stark property.

Bucky zipped across the Hudson and sped toward the zoo, stopping at the deli on the corner and looking up two floors at the flat corner window. You weren’t waiting for him like usual. He’d pulled off the road once he got away from the compound and called you like he always did, giving you plenty of advance warning. It would be more gentlemanly to ask your permission before leaving home, but you hadn’t turned him down yet and if you ever did, he figured he’d keep driving anyways just to be away from everyone else for a while. Most times, when Bucky rounded the corner, slipping his bike into the space between your building and the overgrown lot next door, you found your way to that window, waving him up and putting a little something extra in his steps. You weren’t there, but you knew he was coming, so he made his way to the building’s entrance. A call, a buzz, a knock and Bucky was in your space again, taking a deep breath and inhaling the sweetness from your kitchen.

Your back was turned to him, having opened the door for him before rushing back to your place at the counter without a formal greeting, and Bucky watched curiously as you dropped little chocolate chip cookies onto a paper plate. You waved your fingers around after using your bare hands to pull them off the parchment paper and sucked your thumb between your lips to rid it of a rogue chocolate dripping. Bucky eyed the plate presented to him then looked up into your eyes.

“I googled you,” you said proudly. Bucky nodded and said okay, like he knew what that meant. It sounded sexual, but he hadn’t seen you in a week and frankly, he was more interested in googling than cookies. “It’s your birthday, Bucky! Why didn’t you say anything?” You looked delightfully scandalized and held out two cookies for him, which he accepted with a half smile. They were warm and started to fall apart between his fingers, so he shoved both into his mouth before making a gooey mess of himself. While his mouth was full, you cleaned up your tiny kitchen and dropped the plate onto the coffee table in the living area, talking about how embarrassing it was that you hadn’t thought to look him up sooner, but how lucky you felt that you’d thought about it after he called. You wished you’d had time to make a cake, but wanted to be home when he arrived, so freezer cookies were the best you could do after work.

You weren’t dating. Not really. That was why Bucky hadn’t mentioned it. Steve and Natasha wanted to make a big stink out of it, but he wanted no part of that. He just wanted to see you and get some of that good sleep he only got in your apartment after wearing you out two or three times. Sitting on the couch next to you, he took another cookie from the plate. They were better than they looked and he planned to clear the whole dang thing before taking you to bed. Maybe he’d save a few for the refractory period. You’d need sustenance too. So Bucky took his fourth cookie, which made you smile even wider and pledge to leave the rest for later.

The truth was, Bucky hadn’t celebrated a birthday in decades. The last one he could remember being awake for was in the seventies. He waited outside the governor's mansion in Bermuda for hours, watching a dinner party eventually lull and disperse. The Winter Soldier had no clue of the cruel irony watching another man’s party on one’s birthday, the asset’s only focus was quickly killing the governor and his companion once they stepped out of the house for a walk. He’d spared the dog though, a massive and beautiful beast without a single aggressive bone in its body who loped away from the scene whining. You hated that story when Bucky confessed it. He hadn’t felt the need to go into much detail regarding his time as the fist of Hydra. At first because he didn’t care for you to know. It was a fling. Fun. What pieces he did remember from those days were anything but fun. After determining that he liked you, really liked you, Bucky kept his trap shut for fear of scaring you. You knew who he was in theory, but as long as he wasn’t relaying his bloodiest days to you like he was now, maybe you wouldn’t look at him like the monster he didn’t want to be anymore. To his surprise, you hated that he sat in a tree watching people eat and drink and laugh the night away on his birthday, regardless of whether he knew it at the time. However, you zeroed in on his attempts to spare the dog, filling in the blanks that somewhere deep within the Asset, he had maintained some of his humanity. Some of his Buckyness.

“I don’t know if that helps… or if it makes everything worse…” you said, hesitating to go on, but he caught your meaning. Was it better to think that Hydra succeed in wiping him clean, using only his body and latent memories, discarding his mind all together? Or was it somehow hopeful, to think that in all their trying to eliminate Bucky Barnes in order to free their Asset, some piece of him had remained intact? Bucky wasn’t sure he could stomach the idea that any part of him had been present during grizzly assassinations, nor could he ever fully shake the idea that he wasn’t. Either way, these conversations weren’t what he came to you for.

While you were still looking shy, wondering if you should have stopped him from telling his story, Bucky kissed you. It was sweet, not just from the chocolate on his breath. “Thank you,” he said softly, thumbing a brown smudge at the corner of your mouth. “For the cookies. For listening.” His eyes passed over each of yours in turn. “Thanks for being here.”

“Of course,” you smiled. It wasn’t as obvious as you made it sound, but he liked that you felt it was. “I could be around more, you know.” Bucky didn’t know what you meant, but that became clear in a matter of moments. You sucked in your lips and started again. “I know we haven’t talked about...uh, well, what this is, but you’ve been coming over for a while now and I guess…”

“You guess?” Bucky prompted you to continue, when you trailed off.

“I didn’t expect you to still be calling me, so I guess I’m asking,” you said. “Asking what we are now?”

“Oh.” Bucky hadn’t meant to say it like that, but it came out like that and your eyes widened immediately. He scrambled, grabbing your hands quickly and holding them both in a firm pile against your thigh. “Oh, meaning, I didn’t think that’s what we were doing here, so this is unexpected.”

“Oh,” you respond and Bucky imagines you meant it exactly how it sounded. Disappointed and the single syllable precursor to his being disinvited from your apartment. And your bed. And your everything.

“But, I like the idea,” he supplies quickly, but he can see your look is hesitantly hopeful. “Of more, I mean. Seeing where… ya know.”

“Yeah,” you smile and Bucky breathed out his relief. “So we’re together…?”

“As together as we can be,” he said, having no clue what he meant by it, but it seemed to be the right thing considering how you kissed him. You pulled your hands from his to wrap behind his neck and fit yourself into his lap. Bucky’s hands went to your thighs, spread wide over his hips, and he squeezed his way up the backs to your jean pockets, slipping his hands inside to squeeze again. “Here or…” Bucky pulled away to catch his breath and nod in the direction of your bedroom.

“Take your girlfriend to bed, Bucky,” you laughed, kissing him again and he stood with you still in his arms, legs clinging to his lower back. Girlfriend. Okay, Bucky decided in a snap. He could work with that. Especially if it meant chocolate chip cookies and birthday sex. Which reminded him and you giggled as he turned back around, hoisting you higher up on his torso with the vibranium arm below your butt and stooped carefully to grab the plate of cookies with the other before taking you and your cookies to bed.

His first relationship in the 21st century had surprised him. Come out of nowhere and nothing. One moment he was standing at a bar, nursing a beer that wouldn’t affect him at all while he listened to talk about your job before not so subtly asking about his, the next it was his birthday and he had a mouthful of chocolate chip cookies while you had a mouthful of him. It’s funny how fast life changes. If only he’d known just how quickly his new relationship would fall apart.

A/N: I’ve been cooking up this series for a while now and I thought, why not post the first bit and see what happens. First time writing for this fandom, so we’re diving in head first with a feckin’ long series and some foolin’ around. I do welcome tags if you’re interested.

Masterlist

[sagessoftwings]

Hi, idk if you do this, but if so, can I have a marvel ship w hc? I’m a ♑️, het, 5’2 girl w black hair, dark eyes, skinny, rly pale. I’ve a grunge style, I dress in dark clothes, boots and leather jackets. I like to write, paint, listen to rock music and I read classics and poetry. I am the sarcastic, introspective and silent-judging kind, I suck at showing affection, but I’m very passionate and I’d die for the few I love. I’ve a strong personality and easily annoying. I love to call people with made up nick and I need someone who can keep up with me and constantly dare me. Thnx 🖤

I’d love to! I’ve never done this before so I’m sorry if it’s not accurate :( I did a tad bit of researching and I feel like you would get Bucky Barnes :))

I definitely feel like when you first met he would have no idea on how to talk to you. You came off as a bit intimidating.

You had a aura of ‘strong young lady who knows what she’s doing. So don’t fuck with me’ vibe

Once literally everyone (and I mean everyone) pushed him to talk to you, you found you had a lot in common.

Bucky was always looking for someone different, someone who stood out and not the same old plain Jane.

I feel like he would be so intrigued when it came to your fashion sense, after all he only had like one shirt just in different colors

Maybe it’s because you looked FIIINE In black.

Steve definitely gives this man relationship advice

Which might I add is literally your best friend. You two paint and draw and talk shit about Bucky hehe.

Anyyyways, one day he was out and found some black lingerie and of course our metal armed friend was to flustered to tell you, but you saw his gaze and red cheeks before leaving the mall

You ended up surprising him with it and WHEW were you hot. I can garentee this man was drooling.

I also feel like if you had tattoos he would be all over that

I think the moment he realized he was in love was the moment you replied to Sam with the most sarcastic answer he’s ever heard.

You both have hard times showing your affection but do it in simple little ways. Even if it’s a run together or making breakfast.

Bucky would adooore taking you out on bike rides and listen to rock music after that hitting up some little joint for food.

You tried to teach him how to paint- buuut you ended up covered it acrylic paint, a terrible drawing of you done by Buck and several hickeys.

Back to the tattoo idea- oop

This made would literally make you get naked just to ask you and look at your tattoos and maybe piercings 🙊

In conclusion this man would be utterly in love with you and would be joined to your hip.

Did I mention he has your name engraved on his bike- um anyways

[cunaeparker]

thanks for the tag @bvckysmoon ! 💗

why did you choose your tag? well i have a thing for latin and find it so interesting. basically cunae in latin means ‘cradle’; cunaeparker is basically implying that peter parker is a baby which i agree with 100%

any side blogs? i think i had one but was never on it and it stressed me out so i deleted it HAHA

how long have you been on tumblr? like a year and a half i think? not sure tbh

do you have a queue tag? no i don’t ! i feel like an old lady bc i don’t know what that means hhh

why did you start your blog in the first place? well i initially got tumblr to read fics about roger taylor (don’t bring it up.) and found that i loved the community. after about a year i started posting my peter parker fics and the feedback has been so positive i love you all<3

why did you choose your icon? bucky barnes. that’s it.

why did you choose your header? idk the colour of my icon kinda went with it ? i’m really bad at matching colours smh but i think it looks alright

what’s your post with the most notes? i think it’s either a bucky barnes fic or a peter parker one ? i think the most noted peter one was posted awhile ago

how many mutuals do you have? not a lot :/ i need more moots lol pls hmu<3

how many followers do you have? 900 i think ? or something around there.

how many people do you follow? i’m not sure but too many

have you ever made a shitpost? maybe a really cringy twenty one pilots one when i was like 15? idk i don’t remember lol

how often do you use tumblr each day? not too often anymore bc of school, but i occasionally get on for a few minutes

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? yes actually ! it was through pms and wasn’t public but man it was vicious

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? never reblog them unless it’s about rly important issues, but if it threatens that a ghost is gonna pop up in my room at 3am idc that shits stupid

do you like tag games? yes! they’re so fun omg pls tag my in them friends <3

do you like ask games? YES OMG

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i’ve interacted with a few and have exchanged really kind messages and honestly it’s so weird lol. i never thought they would answer but they’re so sweet, i wouldn’t consider us mutuals but i ask for writing advice and they certainty deliver

do you have a crush on a mutual? i love all my followers and moots<3

tagging anyone that sees this and wants to participate!!!

[bella-spil]

2 Romeos and 1 Juliet

2 Romeos & 1 Juliet Series- Part 1

Readers back story.  Female reader.

Warnings: none, i think :)

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: This story was not my idea. @kmuir1​ had the idea.  I found a post requesting Bucky and Loki fighting for the readers love and I loved the idea, so I thought I would bring it to life.  There is going to be 8 parts in total, and idk when I will post.  I have to finish the other Bucky x reader series, and I will, soon.  Hope you enjoy!

Taglist (lmk if you want to join!) @kmuir1​ @wednesday-add-em​ @angrythingstarlight​

You were always alone.  Right from the day you were born.  You never had a real family or a home to call your own, not even friends.  The family you did have wasn't normal though.  They weren't human.

After you were born, you were left by a dumpster on the side of the road in a small town, just north of the capital of Russia.  You were found by a pack of wolves.  The only thing on you to keep you warm was a blanket and a name tag, saying Y/N.  

The wolves of course expected you to be scared or cry, but you were only a baby, and found the wolves interesting.  So the wolves took you into the mountains, very high up.  When you got there, there were more wolves than took you before, and that was about five.  But, the wolves were not alone.  There was a lady as well.  Her name was Rose.  She was about 20 years old and once the wolves brought you to her, she knew she would take care of you forever.  

She nursed you to health, taught you how to speak English, Sokovian and Russian and a bunch of other things before you were 10 years old.  But when you turned 13, Rose gave you something that changed your life forever.  She gave you a special plant that gave you superhuman powers.  The plant was incredibly rare, that not even scientists have discovered it yet.  Rose explained to you why she lived in the mountains with the wolves, to protect the plant at all costs.

When you ate the plant, you felt like a new person all together.  The plant gave you an immense array of powers.  Your eyesight had heightened to the point where you could see up to 50,000 feet away.  You could hear something as quiet as a raindrop from 45,000 feet away.  Your sense of smell allowed you to smell a drop of blood from over 10 miles away.  You also had advanced fighting skills.  But, the main power was to transform into a wolf at will.  You could change the color of your fur from a dark brown to a snow white.  Your main fur color was snow white, which was extremely rare.  You also learned how to communicate as a wolf, which grunts and growls meant certain things, when to howl and how to attack.  

But people who lived near the mountains were not friendly.  H.Y.D.R.A. had a base at the mountains as well.  They were situated there to try to get the plant from you and the wolves, but had a hard time because of you.  The H.Y.D.R.A. soldiers called you "The White Rose" because you had a very pretty white coat, one that made you look innocent, but every rose has its thorns, and yours showed whenever you attacked someone.  You liked the name they soldiers gave you, you liked to make people intimidated.

When you were about 19, you were going to the H.Y.D.R.A. base to destroy it once and for all.  You had your signature white fur one, to blend into the snow.  You were hiding in the snow when you saw a helicopter land on the roof of the building, but one that didn't have a H.Y.D.R.A. symbol on it.  You got suspicious and started to make your way to the building when you heard gunfire.  You rushed into the building to start attacking, but you weren't the only one fighting.  There was a team of four inside as well.

There was an African American man, who had robotic wings and a little drone.  There was a man with a shield that bore the American flag.  There was a female with red hair, very good at hand to hand combat you noticed, taking out a lot of the soldiers.  And then there was a man with long dark hair, with a gun and a metal arm.  Once the people stopped the soldiers, they noticed you.  You were watching them from across the room, with small patches of blood on your white fur.  The man with the drone and metal wings approached you and went to pet you, probably on a bet you thought.  The man thought you would just run off afraid of him, but you pounced on him, you claws digging into his shoulders.  The other three sat there in terror, but the female and the male with long hair pointed their guns at you.  You knew you were compromised.

You got off the man and closed your eyes.  You transformed back into a human, to the surprise of everyone around you.  You had on a black leather jacket, white tank top underneath, with a pair of black pants and combat boots.  You put your hands up into the air in surrender which caused the man and women to lower their guns.

"кто ты и что ты хочешь?" you asked.  You didn't know if they understood English, the language you were best at, so your Russian wasn't as good and you stuttered some of the words.  The man with the long hair and the female looked at each other and approached you with caution.

"Do you understand English?" the man with the shield asked you.

"Yes.  Answer my question." you demanded.

"I am Natasha," the female answered, calmly.  "The man with the metal wings is Sam.  The man with the shield is Steve and the one with the metal arm is Bucky."

"We don't want any trouble.  We don't like the people who were here and came to stop them." Steve said.

"How did you get your powers?" Sam asked, still wincing in pain from your claws.

"Long story.  I don't like the people that work here, but that's not how I got my powers." you replied.

"Ok," Bucky said and nodded to the others for a group huddle.  You could hear what they were saying, things like "She should come with us" or "She's too dangerous" or "She would be helpful to us".  

"Are you going to hurt me?" you interrupted, your fear getting the better of you.  The four of them turned around and Natasha came forward to you and put her hand on your shoulder.  You flinched at the contact, not expecting her to be so nice.

"Of course not," she responded, sweetly.  "What's your name?

"Y/N," you said.

"Y/N, would you like to come with us?  We want to protect you and we want you to help us take people like this down.  We are the Avengers, and we are from the U.S.  Would you like to come with us?"

"I have to go ask," you answered.

"Ask who?" Natasha asked, concern in her voice.

"Rose," you answered as if it was obvious.

"Can we come with you?  So we don't lose you?" Natasha asked/

You hesitated for a moment before nodding your head.  You lead them deeper into the mountains, to your home.  As you walked through, the number of wolves increased and then you reached Rose."

"Y/N.  Who are they?" Rose asked.  Suddenly the wolves pushed you near Rose and started circling Sam, Bucky, Steve and Natasha.  

"They are friends, they aren't H.Y.D.R.A." you answered.  Rose lifted her hand and the wolves backed away. 

"They want me to come with them, to fight against people like H.Y.D.R.A."  you continued.  

"Y/N, come with me for a moment please,"  Rose said, and she led you further into the mountains.  Sam, Steve, Bucky and Natasha were left, to be watched by growling wolves.  

After a few minutes, you and Rose returned.  You had a sack full of clothes, indicating you would be leaving your home of 19 years.  You hugged Rose for a minute or two, saying your last goodbyes to each other.  You let out silent tears, both happy for a new chapter in your life, and sad since you would be leaving the only family you've known.  As you started heading towards the four Avengers, wolves started heading towards you, brushing themselves against your legs and eventually tackled you to the ground.  All of them licked you and tackled you.  After another couple of minutes, the wolves got off of you and you saw Rose, smiling at you.

"Everyone," she announced.  "It's time for a send off."  Then all of the wolves sat down and started to howl.  You transformed back into a wolf and howled with them, for the last time.  

When you transformed back into your human form, you saw Natasha, Sam, and Steve clapping for you and smiling.  Bucky, was looking at you a little differently, and you couldn't tell if it was a good look or a bad one, but he was smiling and clapping with the others.

Then you grabbed your sack and headed with the Avengers back to the helicopter, leaving your home for the chance at a better life.

In the helicopter, you talked with the other Avengers.  You told them how you got your powers, how old you were and everything you liked.  They told you some stuff about themselves and you bonded with them.  You felt like you had friends for once in your life, and you knew soon, they would become your second family.

~~~

(Three years later)

You have had an amazing time with the Avengers.  You had gone on tons of missions, taken down tons of H.Y.D.R.A. bases like a video game and became close friends with all the Avengers.  You became extremely close with Sam, Natasha and Steve.  But your closest friends were Bucky and Loki.  

You met Loki at Thor's birthday party two years ago.  He was very mischievous and full of mystery.  You and him pulled a lot of pranks on the team, mostly on Thor and Sam.  You guys had a lot of fun together, and wherever you went was always a party.

Bucky was a different story.  He has known you since the beginning and trained you since you joined the Avengers , which allowed you to bond even closer.  He was always there for you, knew what advice you needed and you were able to have a laugh with him without doing something crazy.  

But, you never had any feeling more than friendship for the two of them.  But they did.  

Loki had his eyes on you since Thor's birthday party.  He saw you as someone he could have fun with wherever he went.  He didn't feel like he was evil or the God of Mischief.  He could be himself around you without being judged, which drew him to you.

Bucky was smittened with you since he first laid eyes on you.  You were the light to his darkness and he doesn't know what he would do without you.  He could help you with whatever was bothering you and you could do the same for him.  That, to him, meant something and that fact that you could read him like a book, was special to him.  And that was the main thing that pulled him closer and closer to him, like a magnet.

Soon, your friendship with the two of them would change forever.      

[emergenciesstory]

Set Me Free

for @star-spangled-bingo square: Fatal illness

Summary: Every time you used your powers, it took some of your lifeforce. Unlike a human's lifeforce, yours didn’t regenerate from exercise, eating right, and rest- but you could take it from others. But when the Avengers found you and put you on the path of good, you couldn’t bear to take lifeforce anymore. And when you fell in love with the one Avenger who had an affinity for getting hurt, you had to make one final choice- his life, or yours?

A/N: Not all fatal illnesses are bad. Sometimes, it’s love.

Words: 1981

Pairing: Steve x Reader

_____________________

1943

    “Tell me, did they tell you what I do?” You asked from your spot leaning on the wall. You stepped out of the shadows in front of the man, fear registering on his eyes. 

    “The bringer of death, they call me. Sad really, that’s not actually what I do.” You pulled a chair out and sat backwards on it, untying your cloak as you sat down. “You see, I am strong, powerful, but I do not bring death. That’s Grims job. Great reaper, mind you. I’ve met him on many occasions.”

    The man was squirming where he sat, trying to move away from you as you spoke.

    “I, however, am dying. I don’t live like you. Your lifeforce regenerates if it can, not that you’d notice. Not that you’ll get a chance to after I’m done.” Your gaze leveled with his, as you focused on the feeling of warmth coming from the ground. 

    “I don’t like scum like you. You attacked my home, so they sent you to me. You see- taking someone's life force, it can be quite painful for you if I don’t do it slowly like I am now.” You increased the pull, a weak moan of pain escaping from his gagged mouth. 

    “But the part I truly enjoy is when I let you hang in the balance. Just enough life to know what’s happening, just enough death for Grim to come. Might leave you there and visit an old friend. Don’t worry, you’ll lose your sight from the pain of each and every part of your body shutting down.” you upped the draw more, feeling the buzz of power and youth as it filled you.

    “But the true satisfaction is knowing without a trace of lifeforce in you, you’re damned to hell.” You smiled a blood curling Grin. “Enjoy the trip down.” 

    The last of his force was ripped from him with one quick flick of your hand, a rush of power coming from the ground. You gathered your cloak from the ground, retying it as the door opened, the leader of the Red Room entering with a smile. 

    “Pity,” you mused, looking up at her with a smile. “I was hoping he’d beg.” 

__________

2012

    You wandered around the chaos that was New York after battle, slowly taking lifeforce from the deathly wounded. They deserved rest, but you were close to death as well. Cursing yourself for so much power being used, you continued through the wreckage, scrounging as best you could. Stepping out of a subway terminal, you felt a surge of lifeforce stronger than ever.

    It’s reading 2000 or more years, that’s not human, and there's multiple.

    You glanced around, finally noticing the source. Before you stood two Large men, one in chains, both glowing with the force of Gods. Around them were many individuals with varying levels of force.

    Just a bit and I’ll be good. You thought to yourself, focusing on the Gods. Their force was different from that of humans- one year from them was 100 for you, and they wouldn’t miss it. You felt the pull of energy, the warmth filling you softly as to not be detected. You sensed eyes on you and looked up, locking eyes with a familiar redhead. You saw recognition flash softly in her face, and slid back into the rubble.

    Once back to the subway system, you ran. Greater than full power thanks to the Gods, time felt as though it slowed as you moved. You turned and glanced behind you, coming face to face with the Redhead again.

    “Asha, Stop.” She yelled with power. Why not, nothing she can do to me.

    “Natalia, nice to see you again.” You mused. “Tell me, how’s life been since leaving?”

    “What are you doing here?” Nat asked, defensive stance positioned.

    “I mean you no harm, I took nothing from you or the mortals. Simply helping the dying go peacefully.” You shrugged. “Is that such a crime?” 

    “Depends, do you still work for them?” Anger laced her voice, not that you blamed her.

    “Oh, they wish. I ceased that alliance years ago, about when you graduated I believe. No one has called me Asha since, in fact. I didn’t expect to find someone who would recall that life.”

    Nat looked at you skeptically. 

    “Nat?” A voice rang out from above. You both stood frozen as the group from above came down onto the subway platform. You felt a strange pull from the group, not warm like the pull of lifeforce, but cold like running water washing over you. You stayed out of curiosity, following the pull until it locked with a blonde man in a brown leather jacket. 

    “Who are you?” The metal suit asked, anger flexed in his voice, Nat making a gesture to stay behind her.

    “To leave pasts behind. I mean you and your group no harm.” You said simply, turning to leave. The pull of the water made you face them again, each step more and more difficult to take. 

    “Would you mind telling us who exactly you are then? Must be powerful to have Nat frozen like this.” The blonde smiled softly, but still on defense. You looked at the group, not really wanting to leave the new pull, but weighing your options.

    “Yes, of course. Though I guess you’d like to do it from the Comfort of Shield, hmm? Properly? I’ll come willingly, as long as I’m extended the same courtesy.” You looked between the two men, eyes ending on Natasha. “I promise, no power. Between old friends.” 

    She nodded, gesturing for you to follow them.

_________

Some years later IDK 

    “When’s the last time?” Nat asked, tending to your wounds.

    “The last time what?”

    “Don’t play dumb, y/n. The last time you took a decent amount of lifeforce.” She placed the stitching equipment away. 

    “Are we counting the practically dead bad guys?” You looked at her, the glare on her face answering your question. “Of course not, well the last time I skimmed years was... two years ago?” 

    “When you joined us?” She asked. 

    “Took them from Thor and Loki. About 200 years of our time.” You winced, pulling your shirt back on. 

    “What are you down to?” She said quietly.

    “I’m fine, Nat. Really. Don’t worry about me.” You brushed her off as the door opened, Steve and Bucky coming in. 

    “Well, that was quite the trip.” Bucky plopped down beside you, pulling his shirt over his head. “Nat, do you mind?” He gestured to a gash on his side, already healing on the ends.

    “It’ll be healed in the hour, I’m not wasting my time.” she slapped his side, putting the box back. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the shower.” 

    “Word of advice, don’t need her.” Steve sassed.

    “Learned that the hard way, punk?” Bucky teased back, sliding off the table. “I’m going to go and need her.” 

    “If you die, it’s not our problem.” You mused, laughing as he took off after her. 

    “Are you okay?” Steve asked, pulling you to the edge of the table into him.

    “Better now. It’s just a scratch.” You shrugged, kissing the side of his face. 

    “Lifeforce?” He looked down at you, eyebrow arched.

    “Topped off from those we were shooting at.” you shrugged. “Why is everyone worried about it?”

    “Because you’ve been kicking ass.” Steve laughed, kissing you.

    “Language, Captain.” You kissed him back softly, enjoying the pull of water. “You’re stuck with me for a long time.” Guilt crept up in you, as Steve pulled you off the table, dragging you towards the commons. You looked down at the meter on your wrist, lighting about a forth of the meter of lifeforce pulsing through you. You smiled as Steve looked back at you; a short amount of time was better than a lifetime without him. 

_____

    “To the left.” You said in the comms, recalling where the system fail was located. “We get the files, and taking down that room will destroy the entire bunker.” 

    “Copy. Keep sharp.” Steve’s voice came from beside you and into the Comms. 

    “Incoming from the North.” Tony rang in from the skies. You and Steve paused.

    “Alpha team is a go.” Nat said.

    “We never agreed to that team name.” Bucky sassed, likely keeping an eye on her and Clint from the trees. 

    “Too late Tin Man.” Clint’s voice rang out, arrow flying as the comms cut out. 

    “Flight team, how’re we looking?” Steve asked, only to be met by static.

    “Alpha team, do you need an assist?” He asked, only for more static. He looked back at you, worry on his face.

    “Guess they don’t like visitors.” You mused, clicking the Comms off. “Come on. Through here.” 

    The two of you ventured further, finding the files and wiping the computer.

    “It’s too easy.” You muttered, looking around.

    “Yes, it was too easy. Nice to see you again Asha.” A man stepped out of the shadows, many other agents following. 

    “I wish I could say the same.” You sneared, pocketing the drive. 

    “You won’t be leaving with that.” The man said simply, gesturing the agents beside him towards you. Two took you on in hand to hand, three surrounding Steve. You kept him in your peripherals, the agents being well trained. One kickflip and you heard a snap, before rough hands circled your waist, throwing you into the wall behind you. The world went fuzzy for a moment, pain radiating from your mid back, nothing below it. The agent gave a sickening grin, pointing a gun at your face as he walked up. In a quick motion, and gasp of pain, you shot out a blast, killing him inches from you. You looked at your wrist, the life force meter lower than you had seen it in years. 

    Wincing, you forced yourself up, using lifeforce  pain in each step but needing to help Steve. Steve... He had to be okay. The room seemed a million times bigger, but you caught the flash of his shield flying taking out the agents upon him. You looked to see the masked man, pointing a gun at Steve's back, Steve none the wiser. 

    “No!” You yelled, channeling everything to a protection spell around him, refracting the bullet to the Man.

    Steve felt the surge of energy, shielding his eyes from the blinding light. He opened them, turning to see you lying on the ground.

    “Y/n!” He yelled, running and picking you up. 

    “Steve..” You said weakly, unable to keep the power flowing through you to walk. 

    “Lifeforce?” He asked, worried, looking you up and down. You shook your head as his hands scooped under you, running out of the facility. “Hold on. Take some from me if you have to.”

    You closed your eyes, taking in the feel of his heartbeat. You felt Steve set you down in the jet, but tuned out the voices and movement.

    “Hey, Hey... Stay with me Y/n.” Steve said in your ear. “We are all willing to give you some years until we can get Thor back. Please.”

    “No.” You said softly. You felt hands on your back moving down, and then nothing. 

    “Lumbar fracture. It's bad.” Nat said softly. You opened your eyes to see Steve’s worried face.

    “It’s not worth taking years to never be full again.” you said softly. Steve went to say something, but you silently shushed him.

    “I was born with this power, to take lives and manipulate the years. Some see it as a gift, I call it an illness. But loving you? I’d rather die for saving your ass than any other reason.”

    “This isn’t the end.” Steve said, tears rolling down his cheeks.

    “No, it’s the beginning of me being free.” You smiled, your vision becoming fuzzy. “I’m sorry, Steve, but your love set me free.”

[ugh-really-why]

Endgame review that is really more of a Rant then anything else because Fuck you Marvel.

Disclaimer: I hate pretty much everything about this movie and am still pissed enough that there is going to be a lot of cussing. Also, this is going to contain spoilers. 

Let’s start with the character that I had the most hope for walking into this movie. Tony fucking Stank. I read the spoilers so I knew that he was going to get a heroic death. I also knew that he hesitated to save the world because he got his happy ending. 

I didn’t realize how much I would hate him for every word that came out of his mouth. Tony Stank really doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. He gets his happily ever after so fuck everyone else. Oh and he’s guilty over losing Peter so he’s going to blame everyone else even though he’s the one that split up the Avengers by locking up half of them in an underwater prison. He’s the one that had a way to contact Steve, knew about the attack because of Bruce, but was too petty to make the damn phone call. But nope it’s all Steve’s fault that he decided to go to Titan and fight Thanos there instead of regrouping with everyone else. He fucked up, but Tony can’t admit that so it’s on everyone else. Piece of shit. 

then Scott comes back five years later with an idea, but nope Tony can’t help save everyone because he’s got his precious little girl. Fuck everyone else who lost their families. At least the picture of Peter and him exists because otherwise, he wouldn’t have done shit. Oh and he insists that they keep the five years since the snap intact meaning that he’s robbing half the universe of five years of life because why the fuck not? Alright, I get him not wanting to lose his baby girl but I also don’t care because fuck him, fuck him so badly for not giving a shit about any of the other people in the universe. He’s such shit. Like honestly the only decent thing he does is die, oh and his conversation with Howard was interesting because it proves that Howard never physically abused Tony. Sorry stans, guess you can’t use that as an excuse anymore. 

Now the character that I love the most who was screwed... Steve. God, he’s fucking pathetic in this movie. Like where the fuck was his obsession with Peggy in any other movie that he was in? Where the fuck was it because this movie implied that it had been something that he had been holding onto for the fourteen (okay thirteen years) that he had been in the future, even though on screen we saw him moving on... No, he’s been carrying that stupid ass compass around with him since he woke up from the ice, just didn’t have a reason to pull it out until Endgame. Such fucking bullshit. He’s so damn pathetic when it comes to her in this movie. Not that she’s much better... Still having a torch for him in 1970 after he had been dead for 30 years. Super fucking pathetic. Like omg, they knew each other for a max of two years, kissed once, and had like five total conversations. But nope the love of his life, poor Sharon she was completely screwed. (I am so going to write out a fic where Steve goes back to the love of his life and finds out that she’s a pale comparison to the actual love of his life). Honestly, if you wanted a Steve that was hung up on Peggy still, having him move on was stupid, and this should have been set up in the previous movies instead of feeling completely out of the blue. Oh and as everyone else already has said, his ending completely ruins a lot of the great lines from the previous cap movies, such as his conversation about a situation going south, or the price of freedom. And it completely invalidates his relationship with Bucky, which was already kind of ruined in canon by Civil War. They owed the characters so much more. Oh, and they had to fuck over Steve’s other best friend. Like honestly, fuck you for what you did to Sam and Steve’s relationship. Just fuck you, Russos. I did like Sam getting the shield (course the question becomes how? because it was destroyed in the battle with Thanos, but who cares about that?) Oh and what happened to Mjolnir? because Steve was traveling with it to return the stones. Like the whole can’t move past the forties shtick is so boring and so old. 

Course for Steve to still be stuck on Peggy they had to ruin her. I can’t get over the disgust I feel for a woman that married another man, had children with him, to still be into a crush she had at 19... when she’s in her 50′s. it’s all kinds of gross. And sure I adore stories about sweethearts finding each other after a long time, but not when they are in committed relationships with other people. We all knew Agent Carter wasn’t worth anything to the MCU but this proves it. 

Bruce was just fucking annoying. Granted, I am not super fond of Banner in general, but Professor Hulk was cringe and annoying and no thanks. I swear I wanted someone to punch him every time he opened his mouth. The only time he was not incredibly annoying was when he talked about Natasha, course they played up the romantic angle for the two of them without ever addressing the issue of him ditching her for years. Like he still held a torch even though everything about the relationship was fail. 

Thor was just sad. He’s an alcoholic that has lost all confidence in himself, gained a ton of weight, something that is mocked throughout the movie and is afraid to fight. Until he talks with Frigga (not gonna lie that was a cool scene) but seriously the way they made Thor pathetic was just sad. Oh and so much mocking of his PTSD by pretty much everyone. I guess not being a dick about PTSD only applies to Tony. 

Natasha, I actually liked the majority of her plotline. Though that being said killing her off was incredibly stupid if the Black Widow movie is a real thing. I really liked her relationship with Clint, the way that she was helping coordinate the recovery, and the way she was willing to risk everything for a chance to fix things. She had a lot of personality, and I do remember why I adore the character again. I’m also glad that they didn’t put major focus on Steve/Nat. Oh no to make Steve’s storyline work he couldn’t be closely tied with anyone so no real friendships in the present for Steve. Nope, just taking advice from Stank to live life and thinking the only way to do that was to go back to Peggy...

Clint was the only one whose storyline I didn’t massively hate. I liked the way they showed his relationship with Natasha and how both of them care so much about each other. We really got to see them being family in this movie so that wasn’t terrible. And it was powerful to see him lose his family (it wasn’t like the other dusting, they were there and then gone the next second... a much better way to show everyone being gone imo then that dumbass over the top speech by Peter in Infinity War.) And his scenes after returning with the soul stone, and the fight against Thanos were kickass. Also seeing Lila Barton have her daddy’s talent for shooting arrows was terrific. Clint is a great father, and I loved the hints of it and his love for his family in this film. He just wasn’t enough to redeem the bullshit for me. 

Wanda...barely in the film but kickass during the fight. It was great to watch her go head-to-head with Thanos, and having the call back to Infinity War with Okoye when the girls were trying to get the iron infinity stone glove away was great. I’m down for an all-women team-up movie a billion times more now then I was before this movie and I already knew that I still wanted that. Course now I would try to figure out how to pirate it because FUCK MARVEL. 

Sam, idk. There were things I liked. Him becoming Captain America (if you are going to screw Steve like this, I’d rather Sam then Bucky any day of the week). His on your left and reaching out to steve over comms when he so desperately needed that little push to keep fighting. I despise the implication that he doesn’t know Steve because of his freak out about the past, and the fact that Steve was keeping secrets from him even though other movies have shown that to BULLSHIT. 

Bucky, Steve fucked him over because he was too obsessed with Peggy to give a shit about his BFF being tortured by Hydra. It’s fucking gross and totally goes against who Steve is in the rest of the series. I did like the hug, seeing him shooting Thanos's army and the easiness between him and Sam. Other than that eh. 

Valkyrie was awesome in the movie. I don’t like her much because of the slaver thing, but she was really great for her five minutes, two of being a leader and three of fighting (and I’m only sort of joking)

Nebula- I’m not sure I understand why Thanos and his people were about to see what future Nebula’s memory system knew And I wasn’t super into her babying of the shithead but other than that I liked the character. I wish they would put more emphasis on the sisterly relationship she’s building with Gamora. 

Rocket- didn’t really like the way that he mocked Thor’s issues. However, he was a fun character. 

Rhodey- He was annoying at the beginning but I liked the fact that he didn’t follow Tony’s example and say FUCK THE WORLD. And I did enjoy some of his lines at the end of the movie. such as the way he addresses the fact that he’s disabled with Nebula, creating a connection between them. (much better than the condescending way that Tony talked to her at the beginning). And I liked how the disability impacted him negatively during the final fight. It was nice to see something that is actually a medical necessity. 

I did like the final battle. It was well done and I enjoyed the different fighting styles, bring back dusted characters, seeing who fought with who, and the devasting strength of Thanos. And the way that Carol really turned the tide. Tony’s death scene was incredibly dumb... Honestly, someone get Peter as far away from these kinds of fightings as possible because the kid doesn’t know how to handle shit. 

There is probably so much more to add to this but honestly, I’m tired and it’s already long af. This movie sucks, be prepared for it to be worse then you expect, if you wanted to see Tony actually be a hero without having be convinced other people matter. If you wanted to see Steve continue with the path that he’s been on since Winter Soldier and suddenly decides that he’s more into Peggy than he is anything else. If you wanted to see more of Ragnorak’s Thor. If you wanted more for Natasha then her death, something that only bothers me/Odin with actual issues. 

[todokori-kun]

Ack

 that sounds horrible, getting sick is the worst ;-; get as much rest as you can! I really hope you get better soon<3

(omg the pics are GORGEOUS. Like, Wow. Once I’m done writing this message I’m probably going to go back to stare at them for like an hour and silently scream over how awesome everything looks)

Don’t worry about it, I admit that Stoki is pretty much a crack ship ^^;;

And, well, the redemption fic I mentioned helped me fall deeper into Stoki hell, but I shipped it even before that XD I think part of it is just because I think they could have a really interesting dynamic- they’re just so different, complete opposites. Steve would confuse Loki so much tbh

Also, I just think that Steve (or at least, post-CW Steve) might be one of the avengers most willing to at least try to understand Loki. Partly because Steve’s just a nice guy, and then because of his relationship with Bucky- ‘cause Steve-Bucky and Thor-Loki are really, really similar and I think Steve would realize that.

And then like I said, Steve cares a lot about other people. If Thor ever told him about everything that happened between him and Loki Steve probably wouldn’t have too much difficulty in starting to see Loki as a human(?) being instead of some one-dimensional fairy tale villain.

Lastly, I feel like Steve is just the best person to handle Loki’s issues. He may not be able to personally relate to a lot of it (Tony, Bruce, maybe Natasha would be better for that) but he can take a step back and think rationally about the situation, help convince Loki that just because the rest of the world sees him as a monster, doesn’t mean he has to be one.

Hopefully this made sense? lol)

yeah, that’s pretty much how I felt about it too. It was just so freaking frustrating OTL

(And yes that letter destoyed my feelings too)

btw, can I ask what you think about T'challa? He doesn’t seem to have that many fans yet but I think he’s really cool and possibly one of the more sensible people in the CW movie (once he stops being furious at Bucky). Also the trailer for his new movie is epic and I can’t wait to see his sister…

Hisoillu is bizarre (sadistic murdery Clown with no sense of fashion + sadistic murdery needle guy with dead fish eyes) but also makes a lot of sense at the same time? Like, Hisoka got away with joking about killing Killua in front of Illumi, so…yeah. They’ve got something special LOL

omg imagine.

‘Satisfied but when you fantasize at night it’s Illumi’s eyes’

'Helpless but look into Illumi’s eyes and the sky’s the limit’

'History has its Eyes on you but it’s actually Illumi’

Why do I want these memes to be a thing

With the new revelation about who Touka was visiting at the hospital, I’m beginning to have my doubts about how this will end…maybe they might actually both survive for now???

But I’m a bit miserable rn because if one of them has to die I’d rather keep Juuzou too but it seems much more likely for Touka to survive. She’s like the main female lead, plus she has Kaneki’s baby…

R.I.P Naki, the sweetest cinnamon roll who just wanted to see his big bro again ;-;

(Also: Wow, way to go Kaneki, you finally started acting like an actual leader (in a way)! But can I just say, what absolutely perfect timing)

WTH I had no idea Soul Eater’s art style developed that much???!!! That’s actually pretty amazing! (And yeah, I know that SE has some pretty complex characters and interesting stories in it :D it’s just still a lot lighter and has different themes from the mangas I usually enjoy ^^ I might try it out though!)

Death The Kid seems really cool! (does he really have OCD in canon, though? Like, I’ve seen a lot of Soul Eater fans talking like he does but idk if it’s actually a thing? Maybe I sound weird but it just seems insensitive to say characters like DTK and Levi have 'OCD’ and talking about it jokingly when it’s actually incredibly difficult and stressful for people who actully have OCD, so I’m not sure how to feel about those fans)

Yay! Gotta go and try to find that fight scene now…

Join me in my suffering. I loved L so much ;-;

(But hey, don’t be too sad (what’s this? Is Evans actually COMFORTING Queen Luna for once instead of rubbing salt in the wound?!)! There’s always the book Death Note: Another Note (The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases)- it’s a prequel to the Death Note manga/anime with L chasing a murderer known as Beyond Birthday (…no comment on that alias). It also shows how he met Naomi Misora which is awesome if you like Naomi (I did, and kinda screamed when Light kiled her))

Eh, I think I’m one of the few people who doesn’t mind it being set in America because what’s the point of making an American adaptation if it’s going to be set in Japan anyway? I also don’t really have a problem with 'white-washing’ for this same reason (though I am disappointed because being Japanese-American would have added an interesting layer to Light’s character; despite fighting for justice, in canon, LIght’s never actually been victimized or discriminated against. He’s a handsome, intelligent young man who appears to be cisgender and heterosexual (even if it’s never confirmed) and is Japanese, just like everyone else around him. Japanese-American Light, on the other hand, would have really experienced how the 'rotten’ world could hurt people, so his acts as Kira might have more personal emotion in them)…like, it’s possible to cast a white actor as Light without it being white-washing, and since they changed the entire setting I think it’s fine to change other things too. Just, I’m cool with anything as long as they portrayed Light’s character properly…BUT THEY DIDN’T SO

I’m really just disappointed that they botched the characters and all the themes of the original Death Note story so badly. Sure, change the setting, change the circumstances, change the plot, changehe designs, but why did you have to take Death Note’s philosophy away?

But, because I might have been a bit too mean:

I will say that the movie LOOKS really good. The visuals are great. The soundtrack seems decent too. Also, though Ryuk’s motivations/role also weren’t done very well, Ryuk’s actor did an amazing job…and while I’m not happy with how L was portrayed in this movie, I do think that the actor they cast for him could have been a good L if not for the bad writing.

Well…from what I know, Light Turner ends up in a hospital at the end of the movie with his One True Love Mia(Misa) dead, so nah. The Keikaku failed.

(which just proves that Light Turner really is nothing like Light Yagami, because Light Yagami’s keikakus never fail.

Until the end of the Death note manga/anime, that is.)

Yeah, I know about SU’s terrible fandom, so I’m not going to actively participate in writing fanfic, drawing fan art or making HCs/theories with other people…I’m just gonna watch the show with my sister and look at pretty fanart XD

Tysm tho!

(Question: Which character do you think you are? And what kind of gem do you think you’d be?)

Aww, I’m so happy my awkward rambling actually made you feel better??? Like. Come on. You have no idea how much our convos helped me with anxiety and stress, so I have to thank you for that too <333

(And seriously, Queen Luna is amazing.)

For most people, they start going to elementary at seven (in international age) as far as I know, and then go to middle school at around thirteen. Then high school at…um…sixteen? Maybe? I’ve never really gone to school here so I might not be 100% correct but it’s something like that ^^;;

I really wanna try Mystic Messenger but since my phone is an old flip phone…I like my phone but sometimes this can be inconvenient LOL

(I’m totally fine with messaging here, but are you really ok with it? 'Cause if you’re not, we can try to work something else out!)

hi im luna and i wanna die.

HNNNNNNNNGH have i ever told you how much i hate school?  because i freaking hate school from the bottom of my heart i can’t feel my neck anymore from the amount of studying ive been doing that’s depressing.

anyway. heartfelt advice: do not fuck your stomach up in any way, because you will suffer if you do. take it from me, i’ve managed to develop this amazing thing called Gastritis and now i cant eat anything without getting the feeling that im gonna throw it back out which is absolutely wonderful. thankfully, i don’t throw up, but it’s freaking annoying and ive lost waay too much weight already. best part? the whole reason why i have it is apparently purely psychological,  too much stress. i got it in the middle of july. HOW my mom is also being INCREDIBLY helpful by basically telling me to ‘get over it’ like i can just snap my fingers and tell myself ‘oh yeah this is only in my head’ and it’ll all pass over. cause that’s how it works.  so is my sister by always laughing at me

oook moving on.

yep, school started and i am suffering. ive already gone through 4 tests and a bunch of oral quizzes. yay. thanks teachers for totally not putting horrible pressure on us from the start.  i stg, one of my most common thoughts these days is ‘see, this is exactly why i have a psychosomatic sickness.’ they’re sending my to a psychologist to see if i can let everything out and maybe get some advice on how to handle things better. i will laugh my ass off if i get diagnosed with a mental disorder. that’d be absolutely hilarious (I am in no way trying to make fun of people with a mental disorder, I’m just saying I honestly wouldn’t even be surprised if they said something like Burnout Syndrome or Depression (im not even joking when I say that I’ve been sleeping pretty much all afternoon + night these days, cry way too often, feel no motivation for anything, feel worthless, no apetite and also occasional suicidal thoughts which is oh so fun (ok but in my defence, the thoughts are really rare, probably caused by the fact that I feel nauseous like 90% of the time, and I would never ever do it, mostly because some people would miss me (I hope). there are moments when I go ‘wouldn’t it be easier to disappear?’ tho))

sorry about that rant

MOVING ON TO HAPPIER THEMES (and proper writing):

Yeah, Norway was truly gorgeous ^^ I don’t think I’ve ever felt more at peace than then. I fell asleep in the car at one point while watching the scenery outside, and it was one of the best sleeps in my life, despite being in the car. I’m glad you enjoyed them ^^ If you want, I can upload random pics like that every once in a whole.

Aaah, that’s pretty good reasoning! It makes a lot more sense now, thanks for explaining! 

Yeah, I kinda see why you’d ship it. Steve is a pretty understanding person and, like you said, would probably understand Loki the best ^^ Recommend me some fics and I might even start shipping it myself ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I LOVE T’CHALLA THANK YOU FOR ASKING YES.  I mean, he angery™, but also freaking cool! Not to mention crazily powerful *^* I’m pretty excited for his movie, cause more badassery from him!

Wow those sound like genuine memes. Seriously why can’t i draw XD

Also HIstory has its eyes on you but it’s actually Illumi will give me nightmares.

GODAMNIT I JUST WANT JUUZOU TO BE HAPPY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?? (apparently yes)

Yep, since I have all the volumes, I like to flip through them sometimes and I’m blown away every time by the development.  I also cosplayed the main character a while ago, so it holds a high sentimental value to me. But it is a lot lighter than your usual reads, true...

Well, uh, it’s kinda hard to explain? I mean, DTK is obsessed with symmetry and will go to crazy lengths to preserve it, get mad if someone disturbs it, will jeopardise missions if he’s not sure if he left something perfectly symmetrically at home etc, but it’s not so much as a mental illness as it is a consequence of who he is (part of the Grim Reaper)? Like i said, it’s really had to explain.

Did you manage to find the fight scene?

My reaction to Death Note in general:  FUCK YOU LIGHT YAGAMI. oooh, I’ll search that manga up!

Well, I’m not so much upset about the whitewashing, more about the fact that I feel like the japanese general ideology plays a big role in why light decided to start killing bad people? Idk how to explain it... 

Oh, Japanese-American Kira would’ve been a really interesting thing to see!

Yay, at least you found some good things? Well, it’s nice that you managed that ^^

Damnit, so it didn’t go according to Keikaku! It’s all because they didn’t include the potato chip scene.

Uuh, i don’t exactly remember much of SU, but I guess I’m most similar to Pearl? I didn’t really sympathise with any characters that much tbh. As for gem. Uuuuuh *quickly googles gem meanings* ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.  I like Zircon because of the colour and alexandrite because it changes colour which is incredibly cool!

Your rambling always makes me feel better tbh. It gives me a looong message from a friend I appreciate incredibly much so, yeah, I always smile when I see a message from you (even though my replies are so slooooooooow)

Aaah, I see! That’s pretty interesting ^^ Quite different from our system.

Ah, shame, you would’ve liked the most recent route, there is so so so much suffering.

Yeah, I am 100% fine!! Don’t worry about it! The reason why I suggested something else is because on sites w an instant messaging system, my replies would probably be a lot quicker,

I AM IN LOVE WITH THE AESTETHICS, ESPECIALLY LIZZY, THAT IS GOALS

and the drawings are adorable ^^ Hide tho ;-;

[sarsaparillaswords]

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and then tag ten blogs you would like to get to know better. Or don’t. It’s up to you.

I was tagged by @sweet-coffee-jelly​ yaaaaaaaay!

Nickname: I think Sarsa is better than SARS, don’t you?

Sign: Leo IDGAF

Favourite Music Artist: Wailing “but I don’t know anything about music” and “how am I supposed to pick just one” at the same time...fine. Depeche Mode.

Last TV Show You Watched: Young Justice

Last Movie You Saw in the Theater: Rogue One

What Are You Wearing Right Now: my Purple Henley (the best one, not the red Bucky Henley) and blue jeans

What Do You Post: Marvel and Dragon Age reblogs, mostly. Occasional activism, homemade fan art, and “art advice” which is actually mostly humor. Miscellaneous nerdery.

Do You Have Any Other Blogs: No and I haven’t really figured out how the Tumblr culture works with sideblogs.

Why Did You Choose Your URL: Sarsaparilla: I like to drink it (and root beer and ginger ale, but Sarsaparilla is more fun to say, even though it’s less fun to spell.) --> Sarsaparilla’s Words because Sarsaparilla was unavailable, this was supposed to be a writing blog (HA!) and I thought the visual pun (Sarsaparilla Swords) was mildly amusing.

Do You Get Asks Regularly: Too soon to say, but probably not. So far only two, while the Buckstache was getting a lot of reblogs.

Hogwarts House: I don’t know. Ravenclaw I guess. I want to say Hufflepuff but in spite of my good intentions, I’m bad at social situations.

Patronus: I want to say mouse but it’s supposed to offer protection so IDK?

Pokémon Team: No clue.

Favourite Color: Black. No, green. No, black. (My daughter insists that my favorite color is purple but what does she know.)

Favourite Characters: Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers (duh) Less obviously: Garrus Vakarian, Solas (I know I know; no endorsement implied), Balsa from Moribito, Kamala Khan, Vlad Taltos (again not an endorsement) um...all of them? All the characters, ever.

Hobbies/crafts? Drawing, tabletop roleplaying games, knitting, origami, starting to write fics and never finishing.

Collect anything? dust bunnies

Current challenges you face? I’m depressed but my last two attempts to get help were not...helpful..., so now that I’ve accidentally become more-or-less functional I’ll probably just coast on that.

Things you’re looking forward to? the end of the Trump administration Black Panther and Spider-man movies (oh god I do I ever talk about anything besides Marvel)

Anything you want to promote? If you’re American, please call on your representatives to impeach Trump. If you’re not, that old-fashioned treatment for congestion where you put your head over a bowl of steaming water really feels good, especially if you use a towel draped around your head and the bowl to hold the steam in.

Anything else you’d like to share? I hate telephones.

tagging @samwichwilson @awesomesnafu @ohmybonnyfire @tjhcmmond

most of the rest of the people I know have been tagged by someone else already.