#this feels a lot more fun to write than the one I posted yesterday though. that one I have no idea where it's going except that the first

[butterfirefly]

If someone died while working at the morgue, would it be considered ironic?

Yoojin has never had reason to wonder, but walking through the hallways of his new workplace—a hospital where a technician had dropped dead of a heart attack a week ago—he imagines the convenience of it all, how it must've greatly expedited the process of getting the dead ready for their final resting place, and leans more towards fortuitous.

He puts his belongings in his new locker and shucks off his clothes, changing into his brand new scrubs whose creases have stubbornly remained despite his valiant attempts to iron them away.

Once his own clothes are neatly put away, he fingers his stud earrings, debating on whether or not he could get away with wearing them. It's a hospital morgue in a sprawling modern city after all, so maybe he could break a dress code or two.

Then again… he thinks with a sigh.

He recalls his first meeting with his new boss when he came in for his final interview a few days ago: an imposing woman whose sharp voice and militaristic demeanor more than made up for her lack of height.

Bemoaning his luck at being saddled with her instead of the other medical examiner—a sweet, kindly old man who one would guess to be a pediatrician, or perhaps an elementary school teacher—he takes his earrings off and glumly shoves them in his pockets.

He'll just have to be extra careful not to touch anything he shouldn't.

Yoojin gives his reflection in the full-length mirror at the end of the room a final check, making sure nothing's amiss, and heads out to face the day.

He gets the body washed and prepped in record time, but when he rolls it into his new boss's office, he still gets greeted with a scowl.

"It's ready, doctor," he announces needlessly, locking the gurney in place next to the examining table and getting to work sliding the body onto it.

Dr. Seo grunts in acknowledgment, then begins to shift her weight from one foot to the other when Yoojin dares to take more than three seconds maneuvering the literal dead weight off the gurney.

With a final tug, the body finally slides to the middle of the table. An arm almost rolls off to the edge, but Yoojin is quick enough to catch it before it can. Resting it neatly onto the side, he backs up towards the door and hovers there till he's shooed away with an impatient wave of a hand.

"You're dismissed."

And after giving a respectful bow that goes unseen, Yoojin hurries back to the mortuary refrigerators, and gets to work for real.

He chitchats with the other technician there, exchanging introductions and earning a promise to a free lunch at the hospital cafeteria as a welcoming present, then waits a minute after their footsteps have well and truly receded before turning back to the silent occupants of the room.

"All right-y," he calls out with a clap of his hands. "Which one of you wants to go first?"

He consults the sheaf of files resting on the desk and looks for possible homicide victims, narrowing it down to three, and picks one arbitrarily. He checks the number on the file, finds the corresponding chamber, and swings it open, trying and failing not to feel refreshed at the burst of freezing air that hits his face, then pulls the body tray out.

His latex glove gives an audible snap as it slides off his right hand. Yoojin stuffs it in his left pocket, mindful of his earrings in his other one, and folds the sheet partway down to expose the corpse's face, the fold resting just below the chin to preserve the dead woman's decency. He takes a bracing breath, then cups his bare hand against her forehead.

Twin spots of crimson light reflect off of the metal surface of the mortuary chambers as Yoojin's eyes begin to glow, and soon the frigidness under his palm is replaced by a pleasant warmth.

"Hello, ma'am," he chirps down as the body comes to life with a gasp, raising the hand from her forehead and giving her a little wave. "Welcome back to the land of the living."

The woman rolls away from him with a yelp and lands in a heap on the floor, clutching the sheet against her chest protectively. "Wh—wha—what's going on? Who are you? Where am I?"

"My name is Han Yoojin, and I'll explain everything to you later, ma'am, I promise," he soothes, taking a few careful steps back in an attempt to calm her down. She doesn't seem to have noticed him moving at all, however, or even heard a word he's said, too busy looking around for an escape—more than fair, given her current predicament, but patience and fairness aren't exactly what he's known for these days.

Shrugging internally, Yoojin lets his eyes glow red again, just to help things along, and it works as well as he expected—her mind takes in the spots of light past the haze of panic, and she freezes, her gaze jumping to his eyes.

"Like I said, my name is Han Yoojin," he says, his words spoken no less cheerfully than before. "And I'll answer any questions you might have. Before that, though, I have to ask." He pauses, then starts to slowly make his way around the body tray.

The woman stares at him in dawning horror, rapidly losing the newly regained color in her cheeks as realization sets in.

His name.

His words from earlier.

His horrible, gleaming red eyes.

Yoojin stops and crouches just a foot away from her, and lets his voice drop to a near whisper.

"What are you willing to do to stay alive?"

[chatlote]

Thank you everyone for all your questions. I will be putting an end to this askblog after this post and returning it to its owner. I didn't know what to expect when I created it, certainly not this… but I guess this wasn't such a bad ending.

Without further ado, here's my replies to all the questions I left unanswered. And goodbye.

During these past few years I had a lot of time to think, and I realized I care about being useful, or meaning something to someone. That's why I kept working at the rehab center after settling my debt with them, though I was never all that good at caring for the people there.

In terms of physical objects, I've come to care about my home and possessions quite a bit. I didn't have many things that were my own when I was the detective prince, but this home is something I worked for and gained all through my own efforts.

Ten years is a long time. I pride myself in being resourceful but even then I'm unsure if I would survive that long.

… Though in some ways I feel as if I've been lost these past few years too.

Watch movies, especially the ones that make me think more deeply about myself. I find the journey to find oneself quite inspiring. The original featherman movie trilogy is quite good at that.

I wasn't miserable in those interviews, but well… I suppose I wasn't quite myself in them either.

In relation to your questions: 1-I have picked up writing, mostly of the mystery genre, I have no plans to publish this, especially since some are inspired by confidential cases, but I enjoy it. 2-I have not travelled outside of Kyoto since moving here, I have not been recognized more than a handful of times, I keep my hair up and dress differently so no one connects the dots. 3-Galaxy Studios Park is just a short train trip away, I loved visiting when they had some special rides and attractions dedicated to last year's featherman movie. (Not that the movie was that good, but it was still fun. The wait for the rides was a nightmare, though.) 4-Yes. I enjoy no longer being in the public eye. It's freeing being allowed to be myself, even if I'm still figuring out who 'myself' is. 5-No pets, but have considered getting them... now that Akira is here (and seems intent on staying) I will have to discuss it with him.

I'm in a Reddit thread for ARG's, they are intriguing, and harmless, but still exciting to try to solve. Unfortunately, I can't participate in many due to parts of the mysteries being related to real world locations.

I think they are nonsense, no one's fate should be decided by another, much less by pieces of paper, they are also obviously just vague enough so that it applies to anyone. Still, I know Akira likes that sort of thing, so I try to not...judge too much.

Taiyaki, I wasn't the biggest fan before, but there's a vendor near where I live, I especially enjoy the matcha flavor since it's not overly sweet.

Boring. I'm stuck in bed because I have a leech clinging onto me, otherwise, I suppose it's an alright day. If you meant yesterday… it was stressful, but it worked out.

I saw this ask before deciding to leave because I realized if I left him to his own devices he would blow up half the city trying to find my apartment.

Thank you, I think. I just wear them when I'm at my laptop, the blue light filter is helpful.

I got worried of what he would do once he came to the town I've started calling my new home. Can you blame me?

It was... alright. It still feels a bit surreal, I'm still not sure if this is happening or a dream. But it's nice to know he still cares.

... Yes. It seems as if you are correct.

I always recommend the classics of the mystery genre, Conan Doyle and Edogawa Ranpo. But... Well, if you like rivalries between thieves and detectives I recommend checking out Arsène Lupin versus Herlock Sholmes.

...Not my type of song.

Turns out he is not as harmless as I previously thought.

I very much doubt that anyone else from the queer community has a similar relationship to ours. If so, my condolences.

I don't think I will be waking up alone ever again. But while I was on my own… I just looked for the small things I still cared about. Working on a rehab center helped. You get a lot of coworkers that are constantly mentioning that as long as you keep going, you will find a purpose in your life again.

And so I have.

---

That was all the questions I received. I will be logging off now permanently.

Thank you again. I was angry at first of how several of you got Akira even more pumped up into finding me, but I not understand your intentions were not malicious ones. We have a lot to talk about still, but I am... looking forward to it, I think.

Goodbye. Goro Akechi, former detective prince.

[kurogira]

hellooo, hellooo … taps on mic ♡ ꒰ˆ. . ˆ ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི꒱੭ﾞi just wanted to take a moment to share my appreciation for all of the friends i’ve made on this platform ( oh god, it literally sounds like i’m gonna quit .. i’m not, i promise ! ! ) and for being so patient with me even when things got a little difficult, i know i’m not perfect — far from it, in fact … but practically growing up on tumblr has been such a wild experience ^^; despite how distant i might seem sometimes, i hope you all know how much i care for you ! ! i loveee mentioning you all to each other n rambling about how lovely everyone here is ໒꒰ྀི ․ ․⸝⸝⸝ ꒱ა it’s such a delight waking up to posts from my friends, seeing them constantly spread love & kindness wherever they go !! i’m always going to cheer you on no matter what happens in the future, and i hope that the love i feel for you all doesn’t go unnoticed. i’m not the best mutual, i struggle to communicate sometimes & that’s not the best quality to have especially because i had a lotttt of mutuals here but i think about you all daily, really.

if i see an anaxa fanart or edits of him of tiktok, i think of crow’s crash outs n it makes me giggle every time ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ during my moze building journey, atlys & ayame came to mind immediately because i know how much they love them. isagi’s birthday was more than two weeks ago, i wondered how kayla would respond to it ( your yoichi postings were so cute 🥺💗 ) while watching windbreaker, i thought of all the ways i would explain to rye why i actually loved the anime so much & how im eagerly anticipating season 2 ! ! i rewatched kimi ni todoke, and i got reminded that at some point — that was one of crys’ themes & it was so pretty too ( just like her !! )

i love seeing yuomi post about her selfships because it reminds me that this makes her happy, this puts a smile on her face — one that’s bright enough to rival the sun. there’s this one dan heng gif i like to use, it’s incredibly silly & whimsical but i think of cee ++. mirei whenever i use it because i know they love him endlessly. i love seeing miss catte crash out over sylus, she’s so passionate about her love for him — and i’m certain that he appreciates every ounce of love you give to him. he’s a lucky man, i’m certain he’s well-aware of it too !!

i love whenever ohka barges into my dms out of the blue, even if i’m not the best at conversations or keeping up with one — he still talks to me. he still stops by to check on me, i love you & i get so excited to see you message me :(( i love when gwen texts me the second he notices i’m not feeling well, supports me in whatever manner he can & provides me with a lingering hope that everything will be okay.

to eumy & cid, your writings are some of the best i’ve ever had the pleasure of reading — i love being able to rush to your comment sections the second i get a notification. you two genuinely make my days so much brighter. whenever dresvi starts fawning over baizhu on the dash, i think about how absolutely beautiful her soul is & how well they fit together as a couple. he’s also another very lucky person !! he better be looking after you ^^)

during my chat with stellar and cherie about their selfships yesterday, i felt myself learning a lot of things about them & i’m glad i stayed even if i didn’t type much. i prefer to lurk ++. keep a mental note but it was so nice just to see them ramble about them :(( they looked absolutely adorable & i can’t wait to hear more from them !! i showed cherie’s art to my little brother, who likes sketching anime characters on paper — and he absolutely adored her style even though it’s vv different from hers. i talked to him about her for a little bit, it was a really fun chat !! he wanted to watch tokyrev & i had to explain why he couldn’t do thattt justtt yettt … ( he’s 8. )

sage, chloe, mars, mj … your presences have healed me more than you’ll ever know. it’s so easy to be myself around you, to express my feelings without being judged or ridiculed for feeling the way i do. may, you are so kind to meee 🥺 it warms my heart how sweet you are to me .. and i hope one day i can repay all of your kindness ໒꒰ྀི › ⸝⸝ ก꒱ྀི১ zafieri, your cooking streams are truly the highlight of my days — though i would appreciate it if one day you stopped cooking poison 😔☝️ so then i wouldn’t have to explain to my mom why i’m crashing out while on call w/ the others …

alyssa’s someone who understands me pretty well because of how much we talk to each other, we’re always willing to lend the other a hand — and i love how much closer we’ve gotten ☹️☹️ especially now !! i am so so grateful for your presence, thank you so much. artemis, the second i am free from my scholarly duties i shall dash towards your humble abode ( in minecraft, obviously .. or not? ) & leave a sign full of my love for you !! i am so appreciative of your advice during my times of need & i will never forget how much it helped me.

vera reminds me of strawberry flavored candies, the kind that immediately melt in your mouth. i had a few yesterday, really wished i could share them with her 😔🙏 she’s one of the sweetest people ever, with some of the most lovely platonic fics i’ve ever read !! she’s a superstar ⭐️ n no one can convince me otherwise >:(( i love maru & the fact that we are #family ( dating my boyfie’s father .. never stopped thinking abt that HAHA ) i feel like her whimsical personality is such a refreshing sight, i get a good laugh every time i see one of her posts 🥹💕 love love loveee you !! i adore rei’s academic weapon mindset … despite how challenging it is for me to properly focus ++. keep my eyes purely on my schoolwork, she pushes me to do better & i think that’s such a beautiful thing.

tldr: i love my friends, even if i didn’t mention you in this post. i could keep on typing forever n ever but this post would be so long to the point where tumblr may delete it for how sappy i got during this & i started crying a little. but yeah, thank you so much for being here. it warms my heart so much to know that i have such a supportive community here ꒰ ´ ` ഒ giving each n everyone of you a big hug 🫂

[alexhasalotofthoughts]

Okay it's been long enough since TIT that I can share my thoughts with a clear head. I literally slept the whole of yesterday because I was so tired (thank you, London).

Seeing Dan and Phil was a really big deal for me—as I'm sure it is for most fans. I've been a fan of DnP since primary school and now I'm nearing the end of secondary school and the start of uni so this feels like a very big full circle moment.

As cringe and stereotypical as it is, DnP videos have always been there when I needed them. When I was having a bad day at school, or struggling to come to terms with my sexuality/gender, there were Dan and Phil, ready to put a smile on my face. Dan's coming out video was released the same year I started being bullied for my sexuality and seeing someone I looked up to as much as him be so honest and open really helped me to feel less alone. I rewatch that video a lot. I will always be grateful for that.

I've worn my Interactive Introverts bracelet everyday since I brought it with the DVD (my mum would not let me see them live at the time as I was "too young" lol) so Dan and Phil, in some way, have been there for every big and small moment in my life. They were technically there when I got an offer from the uni I want to go to. I literally wore a Dan and Phil shirt to my autism assessment. They were mentioned in my autism assessment report (though I am not the person who said that for the confessions part of the show, that was someone else. I am not trying to steal their thunder lol). I can't even begin to express what a big part of my life their videos have been.

As I'm sure has been mentioned many times by now, my show was filmed so I might even end up on YouTube or a DVD (PLEASE DAN AND PHIL, KEEP PHYSICAL MEDIA ALIVE) or something, though I doubt that because I was in the royal circle. Also a drunk girl hung off the balcony and heckled for most of the show. I think even ended up getting kicked out. I saw somewhere on twitter that Phil asked for her to be kicked or mentioned to staff that she was too loud but I have no idea how true that is as I was on the opposite side of the circle to her and I have never and probably will never speak to Phil to confirm this.

Other than that, though, the show was absolutely brilliant!

Genuinely! It was so funny and it was absolutely lovely being in a room of people who have the same interests as me; I literally saw a "Be More Chill" "Boyf" bag, "Heathers" tracksuit bottoms, a FNAF Bonnie keychain and a Doctor Who badge all in the space of 5 minutes of one another. My people. Someone even complimented my hat, though I find London so overwhelming that I forgot to respond properly lol (sorry hat person, you were very nice! I liked your whiskers!).

Before the show, they played "Hot To Go" by Chappell Roan, and the whole theatre sang and danced along, which was absolutely lovely!

I was laughing and cheering for about 2 hours straight, so I'd say it was money well spent, though my mum literally fell asleep during the first act so I don't know if she'd agree.

One thing I will say: seeing sister Daniel in the flesh is literally a HOLY experience—I am so... Gay? Straight? Bisexual?? I'm not sure which word go use in this situation but Daniel was hot, so who cares?

To conclude this overly long blog post no-one will read, it was fun and I feel like 12 year old me would look at me now and smile. I saw Dan and Phil live. I got an offer from the uni I wanted to study film! I write!! I have friends who care about me!! I'm not ashamed to like the things I like!! God, they would be so proud of me. And I am proud of them.

TIT pics below ;)

(That last pic was taken by my mum, hence why I look so awkward. I was happy, I swear.)

Thank you very much if you read this! I really do go on a lot but also this is my blog and I suppose that means I can go on as much as I want.

[bberetd]

If you were the wedding planner of a Luiasy wedding how would you arrange it? What would the location be? What would the theme of the wedding be? And what extras would you add towards the outfits of the bride and groom?

Aaaaahhh this took me forever to get to 😭 @kelbreyworshipper I’ll be real with you, when you sent me this ask, I was walking to my chem final, and I read your prompt and I was like “ummmmm 😳”

Buuut I think it’s safe to say I had enough time to cook, plus it was a fun challenge, so I hope you enjoy this! It's pretty long, so read at your own pace hehe

@peaches2217 (hopefully this lifts your spirits <3) @vulpixfairy1985 @itsavee4117 @supergay-64 @pepperycar @silenzahra, I think you guys may also like this! And @artycomicfangirl you as well!

First of all, I’ve chosen this day in particular to post the becaaauuuseeee…

Today (or yesterday wherever you are) is/was the one-year anniversary of my very first Luaisy drawing! BOY how far we’ve come. Now without further ado…

= LUAISY WEDDING =

This wedding was months in the making. Peach and Mario self-appointed themselves (even though it was obvious from the get-go) to the maid of honor and best man, so they worked tirelessly to ensure everything was perfect and better.

Each Mario lady had an essential part to play in this wedding:

Peach Maid of honor. Her role was to find the best venue for the wedding and send out invites to the Mushroom Kingdom and the other kingdoms within Sarasaland. But Peach being Peach with her overenthusiasm for weddings, carried 95% of the wedding planning and wedding day on her back. Of course, everyone gave her her flowers in the end. Mario definitely made sure she knew she was appreciated

Daisy was a 5'11" sack of nerves for her wedding, so Peach took it in her hands to calm her down, assuring her that it was completely normal to feel that way, and had to keep reminding her of how much Luigi loved her and that he wants this as much as she does. She also reminded Daisy that she should be elated because this is her special day. Peach would know all about it. ;)

Peach ran through the wedding, had multiple (maybe more than needed) rehearsals, and coordinated the wedding dinner that Daisy and Luigi would have.

Pauline Bridesmaid, wedding designer, and performer. I headcanon Pauline to be the most fluent in fashion and designing among the Mario ladies, and it was her who Peach took sewing up. Peach invited Pauline to a lot of her and Daisy's shopping trips for wedding dresses, getting her advice on what would suit her and Luigi's taste for their wedding day.

Pauline also performed at their wedding, doing solo performances, and then concluding with her band.

Rosalina Bridesmaid and vow writer. Even though Rosa is not a woman of many words, when she does have something to say, people are listening.

Out of the ladies, she's the biggest bookworm, spending time in her observatory reading and writing when she can. This makes her an amazing poet. All her close friends find it hard to believe that she doesn't have a significant other. She has shared some of her poems with her friends, and it was a wonder how none of them fell in love with her.

But Daisy called her up (or down) to help her write her vows, and Rosa was more than happy to help. She helped her organize her thoughts and feelings for Luigi and what their relationship truly meant to her. Rosa also helped to plan, outline, revise, and maybe wrote some parts of it herself.

She oversaw all parts of the writing process, yet, when Daisy recited those words back to Luigi on their wedding day, she reacted as if it were her very first time hearing it; tears in her eyes and hands clasped together. She was so proud.

Toadette Bridesmaid and master chef. And even better... free of charge! She was cooking up a storm with the help of other Toad chefs for Daisy and Luigi's special day. The two still provided her and her crew a very generous tip (Luigi is loaded here).

=====

Mario

Best man. With Mario and Luigi, it was pretty much the same story with Peach and Daisy, except Luigi was ten times worse. It took Mario a great deal of effort and convincing Luigi to not call off the wedding, just because of the mere thought of Daisy possibly having second thoughts.

Mario did everything a typical best man would do at a wedding and more, making sure everything was in order, and not a single detail was out of place. Right before, during, and after the wedding, he used at least 3 full rolls of tissue paper.

Another thing on the performance line-up... I'm gonna go ahead and yoink @silenzahra's musician bros hc and say that Mario does a surprise performance for Luigi and Daisy. It’s a song that is a testament to his and Luigi’s bond, which obviously immediately gets Luigi choked up.

As Mario was singing and playing the guitar, it felt so wrong for Mario to be singing their song on his own, so Luigi joined him on the stage, grabbing a mic left behind from Pauline's band group and singing alongside him. Cue forehead touches, and lots of hugging, crying, and ‘I love you’s.

====

Wedding Location and Theme

I 100% believe that their wedding would take place outside. Daisy and Luigi wanted a large, open space with a nice landscape view with not too many manmade buildings. So uh, Brooklyn was out of the question, not that they minded. Daisy decided to make use of the Chai Kingdom (one of the four Kingdoms in Sarasaland) and its naturistic feel.

And then the post-wedding dinner and performances would all take place here:

(Basically, just imagine all of this but green and orange-themed lol)

As for the theme, I feel that they’d go with a fairytale-themed wedding! That, or a forest-themed wedding; green and orange are earthy colors, so I want their wedding to reflect that.

Again, yoinking @silenzahra's Luigi the bookworm hc, I’d like to think that one of the ways Luigi and Daisy grew closer was from reading together, and the National Book Days in Sarasaland. Once Daisy got more into reading, Luigi encouraged her to venture out in her castle’s library and find some genres that she liked. They both noticed that she seemed to gravitate towards stories that were more adventure-packed, as well as fairytales, mythological, and fictional stories. Daisy has a very active imagination and loves otherworldly visuals, so Luigi was more than happy to incorporate that into their wedding theme.

The bridesmaids and maid of honor are decked in golden dresses (for ya girl), and the groomsmen and best man are decked in emerald green (for ya boy). For the wedding guests’ attire… there is not a single trace of black to be found! The wedding looked like a rainbow that threw up all the colors in the visible spectrum.

====

Have some drawings of the important people! (and my wacky attempt to shade gold material)

Bridesmaids: Pauline and Rosalina

To honor Pride Month… let’s just say Rosa is looking for that special someone… right beside her ;)

Lumas

I’m adding the Lumas (plus Lumalee of course!) to be the flower children! The wedding would be decked with 75-100 lumas of all different colors and purposes. They would be the ambiance for the wedding, especially when the sun sets, and at nighttime. The wedding would still use fairy lights in case the Lumas didn't cooperate (was never an issue). But... just imagine dozens of bright moving lights with sparkles trailing behind them in the night sky.

Groomsmen, Ring Bearer, Maid of Honor and Best Man (tumblr has me on a pic limit here 😮‍💨): Wario, Waluigi, and Toad; Yoshi; Mario and Peach

Yeah, Wario and Waluigi were invited, as long as they promised to behave. And if not, Daisy and her family will set em straight… and Mario if they even dare think about ruining his baby brother’s day. The two weren’t so fond of the dress code at first, but they sucked it up. Eventually, emerald green grew on them.

Wario: I look like a leprechaun!

Waluigi: Wah! How bad can this possibly be? (Iykyk)

Also, the tie Mario is wearing was handcrafted by Luigi when they were kids. ;’)

And of course…

Bride and Groom: Daisy and Luigi

She on dem high heels 🤭

I also really wanted to draw Daisy’s dad sending her off. I absolutely LOVE @itsavee4117’s interpretation of him (aka King “Marshmallow” Cris), so I’m yoinking him here toooo~

====

Post-Wedding

Like I said earlier, plenty of food will be provided by Toadette and her crew, and there will be endless games. They would mostly be Mario Party-styled, but there would also be some sports like tennis or mini-golf. That all happens after the newlyweds have their dance and cake. Let’s just say for an itty-bitty second of time, they recreate the dance of all dances.

After all the fun has been had, the two are driven into the moonlight by Toadsworth with a “JUST HITCHED” sign on the back of his Parade Kart from MK Double Dash. They’d be transported in this very familiar fashion.

;)

====

And that’s it! Hopefully I didn’t make the wedding seem too boring or sane for them, or made anything out of character for them. I know I did a lot more than you asked for, but I had way too much fun with it lol. Wanted to do our beloveds justice to the fullest. Let me know what you guys think, and feel free to add on to it!

[flowersdiceandlove]

today's a busy day for me, but since i last posted about the pei ming x xie lian fic i'm writing, i've added like 15k words to it?? it's at like 60k now. what?? this is incredible. i'm having so much fun. and keep wanting to write more on it. but, when i posted about it, i thought i'd finished my burst of writing for it and it'd been at like 45k up from 16k. now the number keeps going up and up and i'm just having so. much. fun. yesterday i wrote about xie lian battling a giant centipede and then collecting the dead babies of it to save for meat to cook later (while pei ming is in the background wondering why he's still so attracted to xie lian after seeing him tear into a burnt demonic centipede baby). i also wrote another part that just put xie lian through it. that part is a really different tone than the rest of it, so i'll have to decide later if i think i'll keep it in the fic. if i don't i'd put it as a one shot. i was feeling like shit though, so i guess making xie lian feel even worse was helping me through it. and it was bad. he was clawed, pecked at, almost eaten by giant birds, rolled down a mountain, twice, and all while being poisoned.

so, i've been having fun! i've never really talked about my writing projects, but i think i'll start. i always felt like i needed to finish them before sharing a lot about them, but this is fun!

also does anyone know if xie lian and pei ming have a ship name, and if so, what it is? i wanna know what to tag these.

[archivalofsins]

Addendum (September 23, 2024 5:03pm )- It was brought to my attention by a concerned friend inquiring if something had happened yesterday that this post can come off as complaining about a fandom issue of some sort. Because of how often "Don't be like x" (in particularly Futa) has been used in regards to ongoing Milgram fandom incidents.

It was not my intention to invoke those sort of alarming past experiences for anyone that may have come across this post. My intentions when writing this were to interrogate the prevalence of that phrasing when it came to Futa as a character while including the prisoner paired with him known for bullying as well.

To put it in a plain and jovial way- These are my feelings in regards to this topic in a meme format,

Since I have now been informed of how emotionally disruptive this phrasing can be given the things it's been associated with in the past at least within the tumblr Milgram community I will be putting it under a cut with one more addendum further down that uses the same phrasing.

Once again saying to not be like Mu.

It's easy for individuals to understand why they shouldn't be like Futa. In a lot of ways, not many people would see their actions as being similar to his even when they are. This is why I stress not to be like Mu either.

Because it seems to me that a lot of people are comfortable with being bullies as long as they convince themselves they were the victim first.

A trait that's present throughout both Futa and Mu's narratives. Even if not many people recognize how emotionally manipulative, insidious, and abusive this sort of behavior is socially.

Because just like with these two, some will convince themselves it's the other parties fault for doing something wrong first.

That the person who did something wrong should just,

"You apologize if you do something wrong, you learn that even before words, don't you?"

Q.09 Do you want to apologise to the person you killed?

Mu: I think the person who did something wrong first should apologise first.

These two are simply not as different as some fans like to tell themselves. They are both reactionary bullies. Just because one goes on offense (attacks) and the other defense (cries/deflects) doesn't make one any better than the other. That's why they both got into codependent relationships with another prisoner over the first trial intermission.

Both Amane and Haruka provide them with something. Giving Futa and Mu hope and help in a difficult situation. Along with something to do with themselves to prove their own worth. They also both took on a naturing and protective role in Amane and Haruka's lives. Making the other their main priorities as of the second trial.

23/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday)

Futa: Oi, you. Is he ok? He’s not even left his room lately.

Mu: You mean Haruka-kun? Hmm. Yeah, probably. I’ve been bringing all his meals to him so he should be fine. Isn’t that great of me?

Futa: Hah? Who the hell says that sort of thing about themself. ……ah, no, well, right now I understand a bit. When you’re feeling down, it’s nice to have someone who relies on you and accepts you. The rest of us can’t really understand you from where we’re standing. But well, if you’re Haruka’s “salvation” then I guess it really is great.

Mu: Salvation……? I don’t know what you mean. Futa-kun, you don’t sound like yourself. Did you hit your head or something? Oh, wait, you actually did, didn’t you. Ahaha. Ah, putting that aside though, did you know it’s my birthday today?

Q.02 What do you think of Haruka?

Futa: I can’t afford to be worrying about other people at the moment. Anyway, he’s not a little kid.

This is also why one of my first posts discussed them together. They were both even abandoned by their groups,

"Everyone else was having fun, weren't they? What about them?! Why is it just me?!"

Q.18 Do you regret anything?

Mu: I think maybe I should have chosen my friends a bit more carefully.

Q.11 Who do you want to see right now?

Mu: I miss my friends too. But most of all, Papa and Mama.

Yeah, don't be like either of them, actually.

This is not a healthy thing to strive for. The only difference between them is that Futa takes the orders, and Mu gives them. Aptly portrayed in the relationships they've formed over the course of Milgram.

Also, a bully is a bully regardless of if they cry about it. Women have been weaponizing crying for decades. Stop pretending like this is a brand new undiscovered form of manipulation it's not.

Addendum (September 23, 2024 5:03pm ) continued: Also it was not intent to specifically call to attention Mu's characters flaws or take any digs at people who relate to her. Saying things like don't be like x character can be inconsiderate towards individuals who relate to that character a lot especially if it's something done on a consistent enough basis.

These are once again my feelings on that in meme format.

[lenacethemenace]

Brief notes, and how things are going.

So from yesterday’s 20k I made it to 23.5k in like a few hours after I got to finally sit down in front of my computer. I also pumped out like two sketches, but I don’t know how comfortable I feel posting them just yet. Maybe I will with like heavy heavy watermarks because I get so nervous about posting. Regardless, I have altered a couple of designs. So far I’ve drawn most of the main(ish) cast many of them are shit doodles but I’m having fun throwing in all of my headcanons.

Back onto the actual topic though, updates may become less frequent the closer I get to finals week, but right after that I’m going all in. And I want to keep you lovely people aware of what’s going on.

These are questions I’ve gotten from friends. (as soon as I get questions in my inbox I’m answering those)

Questions and Answers!

If Sonic doesn’t reciprocate Amy’s feelings, why would he be a driving force in the narrative?

Without giving the whole story away. In my interpretation, I feel that Sonic is a very friendship oriented person. Affectionate with friends, he cares for them very very deeply, but that’s where it stops. He knows Amy likes him, but he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings and mess up the relationship they have. She’s a great friend and a good person, he’s just unaware of the struggles she experiences having this one sided affection. It’s more so his impact than his actions themselves. He’s well meaning.

You mentioned Knuxouge, are they in an established relationship?

Technically yes, but no one talks about it, it’s more of a known fact. Literally no one has to ask. (They’re practically already married guys /j)

How many people get a POV? Is it just a select few? Or does it depend on what you need.

Mainly we have Amy and Shadow, their POVs are the most important, sometimes I think it’s better not to know the exact internal thoughts of the other party. With Amy being an emotional thinker and Shadow being more of an observant thinker, they both look at the same situation differently.On the other hand, I think it’s important to see the two of them from an outside perspective where you can view them entirely differently.

For example, I wasn’t expecting Tails to have that big of a role in my narrative, but he shows up a lot. I gave him a POV as well, and I think it works! I just finished writing a section from Sonic’s POV as well, and there are things he simply doesn’t notice that others might. It all depends on my needs.

Is this your first fanfiction? Are you a big writer?

While no it’s not my first fanfiction, the only other fanfics I’ve written were like 3 on wattpad and those were super short 2000-3000 word oneshots. This is the first fanfiction I’ve written in years. It’s pretty simple. I have a vivid imagination so I try not to harp on details that could derail the momentum of my fic

Is Shadamy your favorite ship?

Oh ABSOLUTELY! But it’s not the only one I like. I’m a multi shipper and think everyone’s opinions are valid on if they like these two or not. I think they’d be healthy.

What would the age rating be?

For what it’s worth, I don’t plan on writing anything explicit, it’s for sure meant for an older 13+ audience, but that’s mostly for Rouge being suggestive in dialogue. Nothing crazy, I don’t typically write the spicier stuff.

Will they kith >:3

Indeed, they will kith :]

Will you link the playlists?

If someone wants them, sure! They’re slightly lore related, but you won’t realize till you read.

If you have any questions feel free to ask me! My inbox is always open.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A bunch of replies todayyy! Sorry for the wait!

Anonymous asked:

Wha…what is with all the gaslighting discourse?

A waste of our precious time, Anon.

It started with some Anon being frustrated with me talking about Jade being a gaslighter in a hc post about twst boys being horrible to their lovers, and then them calling Rook a gaslighter instead. I was confused about this ask and replied half-jokingly, but the Anon came back trying to explain themselves once more. So I wrote another reply where I stated my position loudly and clearly: I do not agree with that Anon, I will continue drawing and writing Rook and Jade as I please, and I do not like how the Anon approached this topic by basically telling me that because it upsets them personally, I should reconsider how I view the characters. I find this type of rhetoric manipulative and unfair not only to us, but to the rest of people here: I can’t prioritise one person’s trauma over others’. I also really don’t like it when someone tries to assess my personal views on things by the type of fiction that I like and the way I see and portray certain characters. This is literally why we shoo away everyone who acts disgusted because of some of our ships, and this situation is no different to me. “I really don’t like it = this is dangerous” is manipulative, no matter how you cut it.

Anyways, then there was that Anon to whom I replied yesterday! And it was a nice ask, I had fun thinking about what to write. They actually sent their ask a month ago, just as this whole thing was happening, but I took my time because I was busy, but wanted to reply properly. Just like I said before, I love talking about characters a lot, and even if I disagree with someone, as long as they aren’t trying to force their point of view on me or imply that I don’t get it or I am stupid, I like hearing different interpretations of characters. Even if it feels completely off to how I view it, I can appreciate or at least respect it if they respect the way I do things. And don’t imply that I don’t get it or I am stupid.

So yeah, this is everything I have to say about this lol But you can read more on this topic; I believe there are plenty of other posts on this site, apparently this discussion has been going on for years. I really have no idea what there is to even discuss though.

Anonymous asked:

I know you haven’t talked about twst cast being parents for awhile, but I couldn’t help but come up with an azuide kid scenario. Imagine the kid is constantly feeling so much pressure from Azul’s expectations that when they fail a test after enrolling into NRC, the kid just SNAPS, overbloting and having a complete breakdown. And Ortho gives Azul and Idia a look that screams “See? I TOLD you so!”

It really has been a while! We don’t really think about family topics all that often though, so I guess it’s not very surprising lol

Thank god AzuIde kid has Ortho around because these two aren’t at all helpful with Idia hiding in his room for the majority of time and Azul almost being the second Riddle’s mom lol If it takes less time for them to overblot than it did for poor Riddle, it’s going to be very impressive. ESPECIALLY if the kid has Shroud blood, which means that they shouldn’t be able to overblot easily, if at all…

This is some great parenting right here.

Anonymous asked:

How do you think diasomnia would celebrate silver's birthday :)? I feel like Lilia would end up doing the least most birthdays,,, where he just ends up having sex, doing what he wanted anyway while barely being nicer to him than usual. Silver would be so grateful still lol

Anon, I am so sorry because I didn’t reply in time I completely missed the time when it would be perfect…. Sweet Silver, my precious fellow Taurus, I have failed you. 😔 But it’s better late than never!

I feel like Silver mentioned that they celebrate it together every year and take a picture together, and to be honest, I think Lilia actually cares a lot about making Silver’s birthday feel special. Even thinking back on how he made sure Silver would experience trick-or-treating on Halloween despite not having any neighbours, Lilia seems like someone who likes doing this type of thing. Silver himself doesn’t really care much though.

This doesn’t mean that Silver wouldn’t be very grateful even for a bare minimum of course, I think he gets this feeling of “there’s more?” every year after only receiving this “doing the least” level of attention from Lilia at first. Maybe Lilia would try to prank him as if he forgot about his birthday, but… Silver himself wouldn’t remember, so this isn’t much of a prank :(

Also ALSO! When it comes to sex, you are right; Lilia would present it as something special for Silver only, but he would ABSOLUTELY end up just going whatever he himself wanted to do lol

Anonymous asked:

Have you heard how horny Rollo is for the bell tho? Now that's a paraphilia if I've ever seen one. No clue how it would even work but mark my words, that boy will either fuck the bell or get fucked by the bell one way or another

+

Anonymous asked:

Rollo anon here, Malleus sneaks into the belltower to get railed by the gargoyles and comes face to face with Rollo getting off to the bell

Anon THIS PIECE OF ROLLO LORE IS SUCH A TREASURE (in the most unhinged horny unholy way possible). Just as with Gargoyles (both with Rollo and with Malleus), this is something that’s been on the back of my mind since we’ve heard this information lol There has to be a way… The bell is magical for a reason…

God Rollo would absolutely hate being interrupted and SEEN by Malleus of all people. Wait until he hears about the reasons why Malleus is even there, heheh.

eh-nonnie-mouse asked:

True, Sebek is too hard on (pun intended) for Malleus to slip up unless he's REALLY distracted. Also can you two imagine...Lilia physically shows Sebek how to move using Silver as the example and then letting Sebek try right after, guiding Sebek's hips every once in a while to correct his rhythm and or movements he gets to stick it in.

(this is related to this post)

I’ll be honest, this is so stupidly easy to imagine that I don’t know if we should judge ourselves or Lilia for this LOL

He just wants to ensure that he has taught these boys everything that they need to know… This is a very important part of their training. Sebek is becoming a man. 🥹

Anonymous asked:

Yes yes, Jack has a knot, does that mean Leona and Che'nya have barbs? Is Ruggie's grandma packing? Twins in merform with no balls? Followup question: Who would be most into all the different kind of dicks?

Yes yes yes and yes. Someone also mentioned a possibility of Malleus having two dicks lol I always forget about all that stuff when it matters (i.e. when I actually draw it), and it sucks; we need more beastboy dicks! And Ruggie’s grandma too I guess… powerful woman :(

Now that I think about it, I really don’t draw balls when I draw Twins in their merform. But with merman in general, in our case it’s usually something that makes no sense biologically lol but at least it’s fun! And very hot.

As for the follow-up question, damn it I feel like the only correct answer here is Rook fucking Hunt, but since we don’t really see him on the receiving end of things, he is just here to appreciate.

Also you know, wild card? Riddle. He just isn’t aware of it yet. Also Idia because he has no choice and he’s seen too much weird porn.

[the-s1lly-corner]

JONATHAN AND GN!READER AND THEIR ANTICS !!!!!!!

Antics w/ Jonathan and Reader!

I did a similar post yesterday!! (Linked at the end, hopefully, I'm mobile and sometimes tumblr can be weird)

I'm so so sorry it took my so long to get this request <\\3 I was trying to come up with new ideas so it could be different than the other ask <\3, which I highly recommend checking out! Imma be real I'm not totally confident in how this one turned out so that second post can be like an extra/make up <\3

I wasnt sure if you wanted this to be platonic or have them dating so!! It's mostly written as vague in that department!!

Jonathan doesn't strike me as the person who goes out and does things a lot

Just. Wake up, work, home, sleep, repeat.. he'll sometimes send texts to friends and family to schedule a lunch here and there but

That's about it, hes not very social

So a lot of these antics are really going to be made through you making the plans; with the shenanigans really being unplanned byproducts

Honestly I can totally see Jonathan starting shit with someone, be it accident or on purpose, prompting both of yall having to hightail it out of the area

Reminds me of that part from one of the diary of a wimpy kid movies, where greg n rodrick do that fake puke prank on the guy and have to make a run for it

Actually I can totally see yall subtly being menaces and fucking with people

Maybe not a fake puke prank persay but

Yk?

No crime stuff; I only really see that becoming a thing after he becomes Spot! Both from how he worded his whole "turning to a life of crime" thing and the fact he just

Lacks the experience and confidence

Moving on

Maybe it's just my "let's get silly with the writing" part of me, or it's my need for chaos (arguably the same thing), but

I feel like

Somehow, you guys would accidentally probably maybe kinda sorta

Wreak havoc in ways spot could only dream of (before doing the whole. Bouncing across the multiverse thing)

Yall could probably start the day wanting to go to some food truck and

End it by spending a night in jail

Neither of you are allowed anywhere near food trucks after that /j

No but serious note, Jonathan is basically a hermit, he doesnt like leaving his apartment unless he has to; people are just, so

Eeuuughchk!

So when you two hang out it's either his place or yours

But that's not to say it isnt fun!

Hes got normal stuff people have in their homes, like board games and consoles

And also science doohickies

Yeah people have that in their houses, that's a normal thing

Ngl if you give him any ideas for machines or whatnot hes totally going to give it a try

See previous post with a trans s/o, he would make the transgenderinator if you asked him to

Well now hes just turning into doof

Ykw

I feel like he'd take you to alchemax to show off stuff but like

If you asked nicely

How can he say no to that face?

And also he has no backbone

That's not to say you would pressure him, though! Because that's not cool, dont pressure people. But like, he would cave in the way of "I know it's not that serious and I know they'll probably understand if I say no, but I don't want to ever risk disappointing them ever in my life, so I'm gonna say yes!" Kind of way

He just like me frfr

And this is assuming you even know about alchemax

Which personally, unless you're in some way associated with it, I'm p sure be would have a strong boundary to keep you out of it

This is really just turning into a general ramble <\3

Anyways

I dont have many ideas since I struggle with general hcs like this but!! Yeah!! Definitely recommend the linked post for a better more cohesive (?) List of ideas and hcs!! This post kinda

Made me realize I dont have many hcs for Jonathan outside of making his personality a smart pathetic science man

Gotta fix that , give him some hobbies n stuff in the future

Link to a similar post!

[mimbotomy]

Babes 🩷

There’s a not so small chance I end up changing my PFP to this at some point so just a heads up in case you see someone you don’t recognize on your feed. My username will stay the same tho so not a complete change. Also there’s a personal little word vomit/therapy rant under the read more if you are interested in an explanation for my semi disappearance from tumblr the last few months.

Not to overshare, but I’ve had a lot of personal shit go down and a really difficult couple of months, which really kinda boiled down to being diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and my new psychiatrist doubling the dosage of my meds from 100 mg to 200 mg.

(Side note apparently doctors don’t like to diagnose people with bipolar if they’re younger than 25 so they call it hypomania and lie to your face when you ask if your manic episodes mean you are bipolar. Or at least that’s what happened to me.)

Anyways doubling my meds meant I was no longer having the occasional minor manic episode which was great I guess. But it also ended up suppressing my emotions to the point where I felt like I couldn’t trust my brain anymore. Worse, it really stifled my creativity and while I did manage to force myself to write, I really struggled with my art and eventually ended up not drawing at all for two months. Which just made it so much harder to handle everything else going on.

But I’m posting this little rant because my dosage has now been at a happy medium of 150 mg for about a week and a half now and I am finally starting to feel a little more like myself, although I might go down to 125 mg in a few weeks if I’m still feeling off. And as you might have guessed from the drawing above, I finally got my creativity back! It was a bit like a dam breaking too lol. This is not the only drawing I worked on yesterday but it is the only one I finished and I had a lot of fun working with the color changing pencil and I think it’s pretty good and I hope you all like it 😊

So to end my little rant, while I still have a lot of personal stuff going on right now, I’m hoping that I’ll have some more art and maybe a chapter or two for you sooner rather than later.

But more importantly, I just want to remind everyone that you know your body and mind best and it’s okay to stand up to your doctors if you don’t think a medication or dosage is working for you. I did a lot of damage to my body and mental health trying to “stick it out” with medication that was not working or actively making things worse long before I was diagnosed with bipolar, and even though I thought I had learned my lesson, I still stayed on a dosage that was hurting me for much longer than I should have because my doctor had told me that 200 mg was typically the bare minimum dosage of my medication, and I only ended up protesting when she said she wanted to raise my dosage so I was on 300 mg by the end of the year. Which honestly just scared me so much that I finally stood up for myself.

Anyways, you have control over what you put in your body and it’s okay to stand up to your doctors if you aren’t happy with your treatment! They might be the professionals but you know yourself best!

Take care of yourself y’all 🥰

[screampied]

Hello!! I hope you are doing good nowadays.

Your sugar daddy! Gojo is always on my mind. I think, I wake up and the first thing comes to me is him, and when I go to bed he is the last thing I think about. Yeah, I maybe went a little bit crazy over him, but, do not judge me!!! The way you are writing him is so freaking delicious, I keep rereading your works and not because I love your smut(still the best), I adore the personality you created for him.

I enjoy dreaming about how sugar daddy! Gojo will be happy to be in real relationship with reader, not just some fuck here and there for money, maybe, sometimes he really wants to create family with her. The man literally found his reason to live in her and I cannot blame him.

He would be a great dad for their children. He is the type to spoil his child a little bit, but still be the strict one. He is the one to teach them how to be a good man or how a real man must treat a woman. Maybe, he will be too much happy when his first child is a daughter. He will talk about her a lot and always call her “my little princess”.

I just wanna keep him in my pocket🥹🥹🥹🥹 He is probably the one, who gives the best hugs and always say “everything will be okay, sweetheart, I am always here for you and only you” or something like that.

Thank you for creating my everyday meal and I send you the best kisses on cheeks and forehead🫶��🫶🏻🫶🏻

ANON BABY, UR GONNA MAKEME CRYYY 🥹🥹 i meant to answer this yesterday but ive been drowning in last minute assignments but im here now !!!!!

first i just wanna say — THANKYOUUU for reading lap of luxury !!!! like, genuinely :( im glad u enjoy sd! gojo. i should really be thanking yall bc i had you all vote for what series to write and everyoneee voted sugar daddy gojo hehe. he’s really fun to write and it’s crazy the lil mini series has been up for about maybe what, seven months now?

also icl🕴️ you guys are on me and i do apologize for the slow updates h- haha.. don’t stone me. more content should be coming soon whenever i feel like it’s ready to be posted !! hopefully before this month ends bc ive been dyiiiiing to expand more on their sugar relationship <3

noooo i understand u !!!! i want him too 💆‍♀️ oh to have a rich, loving sugar daddy that’s literally the gojo satoru. the dream. but i’m so glad you like his personality :((( AH i honestly get scared because i think gojo’s my most hardest character to write bc i have a fear of being too ooc sometimes but hearing u say that makes me happy. 🎀

YESSSSS YOU GET IT ☝️. in the first fic in hell on heels, satoru def probably gave the vibe where he’s just in for a quick fuck n to spoil reader but u can kinda see them develop. like i think after bon appetit n harley’s in hawaii he’s really starting to feel more than just the sugar baby dynamic :’))) and idk if i mentioned it in the au !!!! but reader is his first sugar baby, satoru’s a powerful ceo businessman but just couldn’t help but sweep her off her feet when he met her in first class.

i think in the next installment, he’s gonna introduce reader to his parents — that’s what i’ve originally outlined so we’ll see how that goes 💆‍♀️. mhm, you’re right though. i think sd! gojo would definitely be a family man, a sweet loving dad for sure. throughout your whole pregnancy he’d be supportive. i can really see gojo as a girl dad n he’d be so protective for his daughter, giving her the childhood he never got growing up. (i kinda wanna expand more on his lore, maybe give satoru a kinda sad upbringing hmmm. . )

but “my little princess” KMGONNA SOB. gojo loves his girls <3 i teased a bit about starting a family with him in the last fic, so who knows !!! imagine him taking you to your doctor appointments :(((. doesn’t mind calling off important business meetings to spend time with his family, oh im sick. he does give the best hugs n im callin it ☝️

really though nonnie, you don’t know HOW much this sweet message of yours brightened my day 🥹💗. i dunno how to express my love n gratitude to you, but im soso glad you enjoy sugar daddy gojo! he loves you !!!! and he’ll be back soon ^.^

[kkochigomi]

this isn't whining, this is an explanation and a request for information. if not, I may not be active anymore

So recently I've become a more disciplined and driven person. If you don't know, I'm in college and I have a job. I've recently realized my dream and have set aside hours of my time to dedicate to it. I've also put more time towards things like skincare and exercise and meditation etc. Why am I saying this? Because after hours of productivity, I have a gap. Free hours where I don't have anything that needs to be done. This is where I decide to write for you guys. And every time I do, I wonder if it's a good use of my time. I wonder if I should use that little time for video games instead.

You are free to ignore this, but just being transparent, that makes it more possible that I don't log in again. I used to be afraid of addressing this head on as to not offend or upset you guys, but honestly vitriol and annoyance would be better than the embarrassing silence I'm met with. This isn't coming from high levels of emotion, I'm actually very calm and kind of excited to finally get this off my chest. These are just the facts of what's going on in my brain.

If you just want to know what to do to guarantee I'll stay, scroll to the bottom of this. If you don't care that much, that's cool too.

I'm working on Mosquito part three because I realize it's been much too long since it's been updated. I'm busy, but still. And I can't even have fun with the story I admittedly really like because the entire time I'm overthinking. You see, when a story doesn't get notes, that in itself isn't the problem. The problem is what's in between the lines. Did this not get notes because people didn't like it? Does this topic bore them? Do they not like idol/celebrity aus? And while I'm writing, I can't stop nitpicking what I think is causing the eerie silence.

I used to be spoiled. Fics like loosen up, brat/slut, oblivious were very well received. I would be reblogging feedback constantly, see notes fill up my notification center, I would get the message. I did take a lengthy hiatus and stopped updating as fast, but when I finally came back, people would never guess my follower count by my engagement.

Don't be fooled though, this number has been hovering around this for possibly a year, maybe even longer. It dips and then rises by a few and then dips again. Repeat. I started to think that this just wasn't a lot of followers. In the grand scheme of things, it ain't. But then I look on my dash and see a writer thank their readers for 300 followers. I click on their page and a fic they posted yesterday have ONE HUNDRED times more notes than a fic I posted several months ago. And it's not just a fluke, most of their fics are this way. People who have been writing as long as I have and have a similar follower count (I assume) have very high note counts as well. Some of them even have spotty posting schedules and have had lengthy hiatuses.

Again, I want to stress that this isn't coming from heightened emotions or jealousy. Honestly it's mostly confusion. Wondering if I did something wrong. The closest I've gotten to getting emotional is with the embarrassment. I see other creators get flooded with asks and response to their normal posts just talking about their day. And when I do it, radio silence. Again, this sometimes happens with writers with a fraction of my follower count.

I'll make a confession. I have been sending myself anon asks. Which ones are me? That's for sherlock holmes to deduce. Why did I do it? I've already admitted it, it's embarrassment. I feel embarrassed when I post something and am met with crickets. I honestly feel pathetic.

I am diagnosed with anxiety so I'll chalk up the following to that: I have come to the conclusion that I annoy you guys. Even that I annoy other writers since I don't have many writer friends on here. It's gotten to the point where I feel like every interaction I make with anyone on this website in any way is annoying someone. When I changed my theme and no one commented on it at all, My mind automatically went to "God the theme is obnoxious and embarrassing" and I already want to change it despite all the time I put into it.

Can you see now why I dread opening up Tumblr? I dread opening up docs of my fics for this reason. Idk how to transition so I'll just pivot to my next point.

My fics have a head scratching amount of notes. This started around when I posted Industry Babies and Amusement, when I was genuinely shocked by the lack of notes. I stopped Mortal Sin out of embarrassment because I posted a part and it only had ONE note for DAYS. Let me show you the best performing recent fic:

This is Mosquito pt. 1. I'm very proud of this! It made me so eager to continue the series. In hindsight, this is still a negligible amount of notes, and a chunk of these are ICYMI reblogs from me, but I'm still happy about it. Here's part two even with a lot of ICYMI reblogs:

I'll be honest, this was a head scratcher. This has barely budged since then, too. The message I ultimately received is that people won't read if there is 0 smut. Well? That fucking sucks because this is a slow burn fic! And honestly I don't want to throw in Soobin randomly fucking random girls just so people will read.

I also recently posted the final part of FUML. Final parts always get the most notes (I always assumed people just skipped to the last part which always perplexed me) and here's how that did (with ICYMI reblogs):

This is so so good and I'm so grateful. And it got a lot of notes very fast.

Now I did two requested fics, mind you this is the amount of notes they got with NO ICYMI reblogs:

Now, I'm about to say that this is pretty damn good, because I actually think so and I'm thankful for it. But every so often I kinda sit there and think about how it feels like I'm begging for pocket change. This feels so conceited and ungrateful of me. But remember, the reason why we're even talking about this is because my time has become a lot more valuable, and to be frank, the notes are making writing fanfics seem like a bad way to spend my time.

I'll be sad to go, but after all this, you have to understand while I'm hesitant to stay. I'd have to be a narcissist to think anyone actually sat and read through all this so I'll do a little TL/DR:

The lack of engagement has changed from a little disappointing to mixed signals being sent about what you guys want (hence all the polls)

The lack of banter and casual asks or just engagement to my casual posts has made me a little embarrassed compared to writers with similar follower counts or less followers

The simple act of not liking a post affects the overall notes and can harm the chances of a fic being posted, or send a message about what you want to see

I get the unreasonable feeling I annoy you guys and other writers so frankly it makes opening tumblr or interacting with this blog in any way just. not. fun.

I forgot to add this in the doc but to be frank (again), it kind of annoys me to see a fic get little to no interaction, and then I reblog a picture of an idol and all of a sudden my followers are acting. Juuuust being honest.

As a reader who doesn't want to see you go, what can I do?

Be honest! Now, I'm not asking for lengthy dissertations on why my writing is bad. I'm not looking for writing criticism. What I am looking for is for the people who are silent readers or just straight up scroll past what I post, tell me why. Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings. Is it my posting schedule (or lack thereof)? Is it because you just don't feel the same as you did when you read my older stuff? Or do you just never bother with pressing the buttons? The silence is worse than whatever you have to say.

Let me know that you always press like on my fics, but are just a bit shy and don't like leaving comments or asks. This is totally fine by the way, knowing you exist is enough.

Be more active from now own, reply to posts, send asks, reblog and just keyboard smash in the replies. ANYTHING is good. Don't take this as me scolding you, just as a suggestion in case you wanted to know how to help.

I won't be sending myself anons anymore (yeah... if you missed that, scroll up the the indented section) so if you see my blog in it's natural dead state, disrupt the deadness! You'll actually make my day.

If this flops, I'll still proooobably use my main acc. But honestly I'll probably just be on my poll acc (@kpolls ) because it's actually really fun lol. See you all on the flip side!

Mal

[snugglesquiggle]

Any tips on writing Juzi would be nice to see

(planning a fun scene in SKN)

good timing — i was actually just about to hit submit on a reblog where this was asked in the tags, but this works better as a standalone post.

took so long to respond because i underslept yesterday because i kinda feel that, while there's many areas of writing i'm good at giving advice on, characters are one area where it's all intuition for me right now. but here's a few thoughts

the number one insight that made relationships in general click for me is the understanding that it's all about emotional needs. the core of any relationship isn't whether they like each other, or whether they have chemistry, or whether they do anything else that couples conventionally do. it's answering the question "what do they get out of this relationship?"

could be validation, respect, a sense of security, even just having fun, but i find it clarifies things to be able to frame it as "this character needs something, and that character provides it"

there's a fair amount of room to flesh out J's character to whatever works for you story. in terms of what's established, it's not groundbreaking, but you can understand a lot of what she needs through the lens of middle management. she simultaneously wants to have someone above her and someone beneath her, smugly obedient or smugly superior, but always smug.

this isn't all of her character — her humansona drawing is very suggestive of a repressed drive for expression and individuality — but i think it's the easiest part to relate to Uzi.

because Uzi is a lot easier to get a read on. the text all but announces what motivates her: she wants respects. the edgy teen assertions, acting out in class — she badly wants recognition. (i think deep down, it's partly cope and she needs affection more, which N provides, but this isn't a post about nuzi). she also has a drive to for expressing individuality, but she's far less repressed about it (though of course, being loudly unconventional gets in the way of the whole recognition and respect thing).

and again, this isn't all of her character — her quest for answers about her mother suggests a drive for meaning, purpose even — but this post isn't exhaustive

the thing is, you can see the resonance, but these pieces don't fit together. i think it's easy enough to see the ideal form of the relationship. it's mutual respect, it's Uzi knowing J is proud of her accomplishments and who she is, and J knowing Uzi thinks she's doing a good job or that Uzi will listen to her orders.

but the thing that makes J/Uzi so interesting and spicy is how much it doesn't work. even along their most compatible axis, you can see a much more likely outcome is a rivalry, each wanting spite and outdo (or undo) the other. J would want to slot Uzi in as her underling, which Uzi reject conforming to. and given the things that J takes pride in — efficient, orderly adherence to rules — can you imagine Uzi complimenting that?

a very concise way to put it is an old joke of mine. J/Uzi is a mutual superposition of "i hate her, she's fucking insufferable, but i can fix her" and "she thinks she's so much better than me, but i can make her worse"

[mattstrahm]

i'm losing my mind but klara vappen etc etc

you would not believe how frustrated i am by the fact that i can't get my photoshop to work, there are literally dozens of gifs i wanna be making but no. then again with how much people are talking about tumblr dying, what a completely useless skillset i have anyway if that happens. i guess i'll get into traditional scrapbooking then. i'll have to buy a printer. i'll have to figure out more ways to obtain photos too, the way pinterest has announced theyre so pro ai now that the moderation system has nuked numerous pins and accounts for no fucking reason is wild.

trying to figure out a way to note down all the superpesis season games, this is gonna be the thing that finally doxxes me on this fucking site. i'm very excited tho. i'm gonna try to go to as many games as i can in my less than stellar monetary situation. i do not want to buy a calendar for the sole purpose of writing down sports on it but i really fucking might? or i could make one. that sounds fun actually. i have all kinds of paper and cardboard to do that.

had to go back and read my last yap post. i've figured out what i'm doing with 52 weeks universe sort of, because i actually didn't end up liking the thought of doing 52weeks2+2 so i'm walking it back a little and it's gonna be more like... a director's cut... with additional pov weaved in. now how that formatting is gonna work i don't know yet, i have thoughts but the thing is i don't want it to look goofy as hell if you read it on desktop but the ao3 desktop textblock is impossibly wide and i really can't be arsed to figure out an author style to use on top of the imessage thing i already use for it. i don't know if anyone's reading my fics on desktop but i read on desktop so i'm thinking about it...

my sleeping schedule is worse now. which is fine. i really gotta clear away all the shit i have in front of my balcony door so i can start having it open at night. i should figure out some sort of net situation too, because right now as much as i'd like to have it open during the day too i've lived in this apartment for too long to not know bees LOVE flying in through an open door even though i feel like they have no business flying this high up anyway. also my grandma gave me a headband she'd knit yesterday and it is actually so nice to have a headband that, because it's knit it's not really slippery, but also it holds my hair back without any pulling or tugging, i shed enough as is.

can you believe there was a category 2* brysontrea event and i dont have photoshop rn so i can't even gif the whole four pixels of it. i am considering trying to write some words about it though. a non au work? by my me? outrageous.... (*does this make sense? like it was more than standing next to each other but there have been bigger things. i'm spinning frogs all the same.)

uhhh i think that's all. yesterday i watched detective pikachu and despite thinking "this is like a 2/5 movie" in the first half, i ended up giving it a 4/5 on letterboxd, i'm reading the elements of marie curie: how the glow of radium lit a path for women in science, i'm listening to two year old episodes of red web podcast and i'm playing a lot of microsoft jigsaw.

[josiebelladonna]

jump ship from ig for more than a week after I said what needed to be said -> got a couple of very covert likes from alex on fb, but testament has not said “boo” to me... at least not on ig; i’ll get covert likes from them on fb, too. I can only assume it's because things over there are much more covert, as Captain Howdy doesn't know my real name; as a result, when she's not around, it almost feels like a proverbial "wink", something that's been going on with alex for some time now - he'll come to me hours after the fact, when no one's around. mind, this is speculation: I don't know what's going through their minds, but to me, it checks out.

but the entire vibe, since redownloading it and returning for my birthday post yesterday afternoon, is one that I can only describe as that of a plane crash, like... I did something with that post. I caught him on threads just a bit ago and he seems a lot more... I wanna say "shook", like something has him spooked now.

honestly, when I think about all of this, I can't help but think about soundgarden, what they went through with vicky after chris passed.

I'm not sure which is worse, though: a band in shambles being hoist up by their dicks by a widow on a power trip with an unresolved victim complex for something like... 6 or 7 years in front of everyone, consequently splitting the fanbase in two (wouldn't surprise me if she's still trying to file frivolous lawsuits with them in this day and age), or a band being hoist up by their dicks by a woman on a power trip with an unresolved victim complex (who, for some inexplicable reason, insists on using a racial slur for her handle to the point I genuinely feel dirty writing it) and is practically choking them alive in front of everyone and no one seems to give a shit. No one seems to give a shit that she's emotionally abusing alex (and probably physically abusing him, too, as she's putting his health in peril by being a typical architect/engineer and assuming that all because she's in charge, it's fine even though no matter how hard you try, you can't fit a square peg in a round hole as par the insistence of the mechanic). no one seems to give a shit that she's biblically insultingly manipulative the more I think about it. no one seems to give a shit that she uses company property to film one of his gigs "because he works for them"- yeah, don't you fucking dare piss on my leg and tell me it's raining, ~maddy~ you're as corrupt as our current government.

really, I'm not sure which is worse: a broken fanbase or an apathetic one.

I guess... with a broken one, you can have some fun with it. you can talk to people about how vicky is full of shit and kim, ben, and matt don't need this (while simultaneously asking why they're letting her trample all over them with her frivolous lawsuits, like grow a spine, you guys, jesus).

but you can't do anything with apathy, though. the only way you can do anything with apathy is by creating a mood that feels like shoving their heads into a jet engine. that man is the love of my life, and I needed to find a better way of protecting him.