#this feels a bit like span
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Au designs for some requested characters
#Zestiel is still on the drawing board#I drew all of these in like.. the span of two days#so I am done for a bit#if you have any questions on the world building feel free#i was going to type them up and explain but again#tired#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel carmilla#carmilla carmine#odette carmine#clara carmine#hazbin hotel husk#hazbin hotel velvette#hazbin hotel valentino#hazbin hotel vox#the vees#hazbin hotel alastor#horror#analog horror#cyn's doodles#rapture au
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#polls#lately i feel like i need to watch things with subtitles or i legit miss bits of dialogue#never used to be like this tho#idk if my attention span has shortened or media has got less clear lol
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We’re in one of the oldest fandoms where the canon itself is long lost and the source materials for us to draw inspiration from are those of the earliest fanfics themselves—two of which being commonly accepted as beta canon due to their top quality. Sometimes these fanfics contradict each other due to all sorts of OOCs and inconsistencies which is forcing us to choose our own sources to rely on to draw fanart and write fanfics. Each generation of fanfic writers are introducing more headcanons in their works and sometimes their fanfics of fanfics become so popular that they are prompting new sub-fandoms to emerge, inspiring more people to draw fanart and write fanfics for these fanfics of fanfics. It’s almost as if there is a family tree of fanfics and we’re now reaching the third generation and beyond
#from a Neoanalytic POV#tagamemnon#greek mythology#the epic cycle#the theban cycle#feels like this might’ve been said multiple times before but I’m now adding my voice anyway#and if anyone questions the validity of the fandomization of this#just remember that it’s the sense of community that brings together over two thousand years of people from all over the world#it’s a tradition that spans over centuries and is still expanding rapidly#the iliad#the odyssey#homeric epics#greek tragedy#the aeneid#metamorphoses#divine comedy#ulysses#hadestown#epic the musical#aristos the musical#I can go on but you can see how this goes#we have Greek fanfics and Roman fanfics and Renaissance fanfics and now modern fanfics#the difference being that the earlier they are written the more acceptable their headcanons are#in the end we’re all writing fanfics for a bunch of people long dead more than three thousand years ago#feeling a bit more at ease now aren’t you?#Lyculī crustula
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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horribly short summary of what im trying to accomplish here, but if you were to read a fic featuring character, a soldier honorably discharged and is officially off the battlefield and yet he can’t seem to shake off the war from clinging to his body, and he’s basically a bit of a mess and feels incapable of returning to ordinary life and there’s you, the sweetest thing in the whole world, and he keeps trying to tell you he’s no good and you’re there to help him with everything (and it kills him a bit, to see you wasting your time to help him, and it kills him because he feels like he shouldn’t be the type of person who needs help) and !! just slowburn and falling in love and just read the tags for the vibe ok, who would it be for
#i was originally thinking ghost from cod since hello there’s so much source material to work with#and the fic would suit him nicely but also idk if i have cod readers left on my blog#so any characters are fine like an aot character would also prob fit the bill for this#but ive just been thinking abt everyone who’s analyzing hozier’s snippet#with how he takes his coffee black and his whiskey neat and how this girl is too sweet FOR HIM#as in… not being deserving of something so nice#and feeling that way but also showing how in the healing process - in the process of getting better -#we start to discover that we are allowed to enjoy and indulge in nice things. that we also deserve to live a life full of sweetness#and it’s a bit serious since it will touch on ptsd; on survivors guilt#and the fic is long - spanning from getting together to him having kids w u#& how even after all this time sometimes the war is still fresh as ever on his mind#and just !!! it’s a lot#also that Taylor line that’s like ‘is it really your anxiety that keeps you from giving me everything?#‘or do you just not want to’ + ‘you wouldn’t be the first renegade to need somebody’
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Hey Baba, it seems like you've been seeing a lot of yucky stuff online right now. A lot of people who aren't remembering their manners and are forgetting that there's people behind a screen. I know you like your screen time but please remember that the world isn't all like that okay? Some people are different online and forget their values and let's remember that these days, algorithms perpously show you things that'll make you upset. Yes, yes it's not very fair, is it sweetheart. Please remember to take some breaks and that the world isn't really like that. It's so important to protect yourself. Yes, silly even if you think you don't deserve it; because you do.
#todd talks#🫛#agere#agere text#age regression#caregiver blog#caregiver text#agere reminders#inspired by my instagram filling up with really scary & unhelpful advice and people who are just coming out to bully people#please remember everyone that the hot market these days isnt real estate or stocks it is peoples attention spans and companies want to show#you the cherry-picked very best and the tailor made worst just for you#for years i only had tumblr reddit and youtube because i dont want a big digital footprint and i dont think much good comes from it#but i got instagram a few months ago so i can stay in touch with people and oh my gosh its vile#even when youre so particular about what you like/watch#but!!#as long as youre being aware you are already doing great. if you catch your self going hang on. this is a rubbish post. thats you recognisi#whats going on. which makes it a lot harder for it to get to you#sorry if this is a bit much but its something thats really important to me.. i just think social media is so evil these days.#be your online body guard!!! protect your feed!! keep your head up!!!#and if you feel you cant??? i can take care of it for you raaaa!
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Damn, what if I reworked Starbreaker to be exclusively in Anarac's pov instead of trying to balance 5 new povs in one book?
Thoughts?
#ok so pros#1) he's got objectively the most significance to and stakes within the plot#2) he's kind of a non-entity for the first few chapters so i can just use him as a lens for seeing the other characters at first#more of a narrator than an actual character#like [REDACTED] in Rel's haunting but less omniscient#3) the five pov thing really might be a bit much for one book#you just can't do a solid character arc for five entire characters in the span of maybe 90k words#which leads us to cons#1) I'd be giving Anarac more focus at the expense of everyone else#he can be nosy sure but we wont get to see Pash's insane perspective or the internal view of Nyda and Kaulakri falling in love#actually i think less time in Faalgun's head could be a boon to his character but still#2) I've never written a full novel with only one pov and I'm scared#3) Anarac has a lot of issues guys#issues that will keep him from wanting to get off the boat and follow the crew into danger#i could do a few planetary exploration povs from other characters but i feel like that defeats the point#idk i need opinions#writing#writerscommunity#writblr#my ocs#writing questions
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#So rn my parents are overseas at this gathering with family friends#And one of them got married + had a kid 11 weeks ago#All of this in the span of less than a year btw#And he’s 15 years older than me but rlly fun etc the kind of guy that feels at most 6-7 years older yk#And it feels wildddd cuz he was the rlly like mischievous (?) Kind of guy in our friend group#and it felt a bit weird to know he was expecting a kid since I found out a few months back but today my mum told me her name and everything#And I’m feeling super weird again like I can’t imagine him as a serious responsible dad buckling down yk#But also he can be serious when he needs to be so that coupled with his sense of humour means he’s going to be a great dad in sure#But it’s making me rethink whether or not I want to have kid(s)#maybe it’s just vanity but I feel like pregnancy would rlly wreck my body both looks and health wise#Like that is 9 months of commitment idk if I can handle it 😭😭😭#but sometimes i daydream abt what it would be like to have kids with the guy im 90% sure I’ll be marrying in like 7 years#and it makes me feel soooooo. like I want to do all that with him#and I feel like he would be level headed enough to help me through wtv insecurity or anxiety I’m feeling now#Idk idk#personal
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the brilliance of jay's progression in countdown is that it gives you a promise of positive character development, and then it breaks it. and it does so intentionally, in the most diverting way, to emphasize jason's inability to escape the cycle.
or, another post breaking down the series, where i repeat myself a lot but also make a clearer argument.
there are three notable events that happen at the beginning: the subtle showcase of jay's internal conflict considering his approach toward killing (the very first encounter with duela and the monitor), jay reaching out to donna in crisis ("i guess I just wanted to be around someone else who might know how it feels…"), and finally – his helmet shattering. these scenes tell you: jason's direction as a character is changing, and it seems, for the better. he's about to abandon his trauma-based (no matter how ironic, it does remain tied to his trauma) identity, he is connecting with people, and he seems to be on a brink of understanding that his moral standing does not provide easy answers or solutions either.
and for the most part of the series, we see that narrative unfolding (even if a bit non-linear, still innocently convincing way). it is, in many ways, supported by bringing up features of his characterisation from the 80s. jason remains, of course, still unpleasant in ways typical for this era of writing, and is conflicted and disagreeable, which makes sense for his utrh/post-utrh personality. however, there are also details that bring us back to his original robin run and his cameos on ntt – we see him being responsible (e.g. #43 – suggesting to bring in other superheroes in crisis, even though he clearly is not keen on the idea of working with them), determined (#16: “isn’t that your super-power, stupid boy? too stupid to ever give up?” “maybe it is”), sensitive (half of the whole storyline, really), caring for gotham (gotham by gaslight) and people-oriented (as early as #51).
the issue that particularly signals that jason is an inherently good person and externalizes his internal conflicts regarding classic heroic vigilantism vs his cynical approach is #30, where we meet batman of earth-15 – alt jason, whom our jason attempts to punch in the face.
and on topic of batman – jason is always gravitating towards batman. in gotham by gaslight jay looks delighted to see (the foreign) bruce and suggests checking with the local bat. then, earth-51 arc arrives.
earth-51 arc (#16 - #13) is a culmination of a promise of catharsis for jason. we have already seen him as batman, as a confirmation that a different life for him is possible. and here he has a chance to come to terms with his past and overcome it. he meets a version of bruce who has done exactly what he wanted him to do in utrh: killed the joker and the rest of the rogue gallery. what is most important – he is disappointed with this version of his father. we realise that jason, deep down, has an intimate and intuitive understanding of what batman stands for; and that he shares most of his values. this is a truth that you can't ignore especially since jay is the one to inspire this hollow, cynical version of batman to go out and fight in a seemingly lost battle.
and then batman dies. right in front of him.
this is a central moment of the narrative, for many reasons, most strikingly:
the symmetry:, a premise known from the lost days, becomes literal. this "the father had lost a son, and now the son had lost the father" is a cruel parallel to a death in the family and bruce's grief. jason's death created a gap between them that jay has been desperately trying to close, with no avail – because in bruce's mind, jason remains dead. now that jason is grieving bruce, the connection closes on both sides, and there's no way for either of them to reconcile the mourning with the reality of the other being truly alive. in this sense, the arc solidifies that jason can never come home.
no good deed goes unpunished. as i have mentioned before, so far jason is established as someone good at heart, but confused; and the reader intuitively assumes that his better, honest side will win. yet, the moment jason gives in to hope, it victimises and retraumatizes him. this event, again, brings to mind his own death, when he tried his best to save sheila and ended up paying the highest price for it. so, narrative-wise, jason is always punished for his kindness.
perhaps because of the nonchalant act that jason pulls off, many readers seem to miss that everything that happens after that arc is an upshot that follows logically from it.
jason's immediate determination to leave – and later a short period of indecision that ends up with his dramatic exit, pushing his team away, makes perfect sense when you consider what intense trauma he has just gone through. admittedly, i'm not a fan of the notion that he would give up at all (i think he's always ready to give up on himself, but not on the world), but then on the other hand, if there's anything that would cause it, narrative-wise, witnessing batman dying does sound like a good incentive for that. (it also has to be pointed out that jason seems to be confident that the rest of the team can go into the final battle without him anyway; it's not like he would go back to his earth not even knowing if said earth will exist tomorrow).
it's crucial to notice that following that crisis of faith (faith in fighting for the world) is followed by him raising up for the challenge again, but now... worse and even more confused. in the final confrontation with donna, jason antagonizes the superhero community, and when we see him at the end of the series (#1) his monologue indicates that he believes the capes to be naive. (significantly, he also focuses on bruce and offends the memory of 51 earth-bruce by calling him crazy; an action that can be seen as suppression of his own guilt and invoking, once again, a cruel symmetry considering bruce's engagement in victim-blaming after jason's death). this, once again, is consistent with the "no good deed" reading – jason diminishes superhero values because he has been continuously punished for living by them. (and unlike other superheroes, he doesn't have a support system nor skills in compartmentalization that would help him deal with this trauma) every leap of hope re-traumatised him. hence, it seems to be no surprise that jason decides to abandon the mask, and in the closing scene we see him without it. the promise of the shattered helmet is pushed to an extreme – jason does not get a new alt identity. he denounces the idea of superheroism completely.
and yet, what is ultimately subversive about the ending, is that jay is not truly a civilian and he does not abandon vigilante ways. he does the same thing. we see him without a mask, but he is clearly working a case. he might have rejected the symbolic dimension of the vigilante work, but he still carries the same delusional hope for bettering the world and protecting people that the superhero community does. only now, he is even more isolated and doesn't have any identity to go by (as he is still legally dead).
as such, the ending opens a new question regarding jason's understanding of himself and vigilantism, or rather the lack thereof. is it possible that vigilantism is really at the core of jay's trauma? and why, potentially, is it something that is so destructive for him as a character specifically? (and i have some answers for that, but i'm not going to get into it here, as it's already a very long post)
so, tldr; the genius of countdown is that it establishes jay as sensitive, determined, and fundamentally good (this is what the purpose of seeing him as batman is!), and then it brutally reminds the reader that jason’s tragedy is that on this specific earth, in this specific timeline, his love doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. the story goes on as it did; one way or another, jay is trapped in the cycle of his care ironically creating rifts between him and the others, and bringing him to his own downfall.
#okay i know i said a lot of it already but it's been some time since i finished the reread and i feel like my take on it has shifted a bit#and i wanted to emphasise the 'no good deed' interpretation!!#also it's just that i've seen a lot of people saying that countdown ends with jason being a civilian.#while i think the whole genius of it is that he is not really a civilian??#have you seen civilians doing whatever the hell he is doing in the final scene?#this is arguably the element of the narrative that is by most readers missed – and i understand why#it's easy to get confused when navigating an event that spans across pretty much all of dc#fortunately for you i have worms for brain. and i have hyperanalysed it#i'm not saying overanalysed btw because i genuinely believe that this is not a case of accidental narrative brilliance#this is a pretty clear and straightforward progression once you dissect it from the rest of the series#and there are a lot of details that further cement my belief that it had to be intentional#i mean. even the recognition that donna and jason know each other is already... a lot for dc writers?#the fatal flaw#51#no good deed#jay.zip#jay.txt#jason todd#core texts#countdown
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i think i'm finally gonna read house of leaves wish me luck
#i've been meaning to read this book for like 5+ years lol#i think i'm finally ready to commit to it and also i just bit the bullet and bought a copy#because i know myself enough to know that i will not finish it if i get it from the library#and also they didn’t have the gravity falls book at the bookstore hahaha they said they’ve sold out of it twice#so. oh well. house of leaves time first#also i think i'm gonna finish fma brotherhood without my friend who wanted to watch it in the first place#out of spite because he's still being a little bitch#hope he doesn't change his mind! or feel butt hurt when i don't want to watch shit with him anymore#i think after all this i'm not gonna watch any longer series with him anymore#movies only. low commitment only. so he can't bail on me just on a whim#i'm enjoying fma a lot though!! these boys are the exact type of characters i get attached to lol#i like the alchemy shit also and the humor/drama balance#and the character design and the world building and the Lore#i was kind of on a movie kick again earlier this month but i just don’t have a lot of time for it rn#or the attention span. to be so honest#kind of embarrassing but i’m so mentally exhausted and i’ve been splitting my attention between a lot of different things lately#i was on such a reading kick this summer too!! hopefully house of leaves will replenish my energy for reading#i also got a sci-fi novel a nonfiction book and a folklore collection so i have plenty of new material rn#and i found another book that i want to reread soon#winter is gonna be a big reading time i am committing to that!!#anyway. that’s that
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sorry if you've answered this before, but what do you think of taco's immidient switch into her viseral hatred of the game post losing mic? do you think its just her trying to get everyone to quit or does she genuinely detest the game for ruining what was her one honest happy relationship (with someone who knew the real her, not to deligate pickle and taco but to me their relationship is much different because of it)
THIS IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING ID HAVE TO REQATCH THE EP TO ANSWER CONFIDENTLY. but anwyays taco is very unreliable and what she says outwardly is almost always taken lightly by me because she contradicts herself a ton and lies a lot to avoid putting herself into vulnerable situations. I don’t think she cares about the other contestants very much and taco has always been a very self serving character. if ae really meant to write her as someone sincerely acting selflessly to preserve the wellbeing of people she hardly ever considers,I would be very very surprised...so the answer is the latter. she’s in her bitter revenge arc..she’s tearing up whatever she thinks ruined things between her and mic…which also happens to include herself as well but that’s not rly relevant rn
#also no oens asked before dotn worry#but again I really needto rewatch the episode#but I remmeber specifically also kinda feeling like it was all a little out of left field#my goat was a little bit of a plot device but that’s ok#because I do recognize that the format of the show calls for that it’s hard to fully dedicate extended arcs of character devolution that#spans between a long period of time like maybe I feel it might’ve deserved#I think she located her problems very quickly in a way I wouldn’t have initially thought of but jm not really one to preach that I know a#characyer better than the writers. so that’s just an opinion rather than criticism#ultimately I don’t think tacos nature has changed. I don’t think she has become enamored with preserving the mental well-being of the cast#like her actions and words may imply. she is selfish before anything else#txt#idk if any of this makes sense
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grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it
#ive made this post before i just cant find it and it’s all im feeling rn#god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if i’ll ever heal from#but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell#but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at#least become more resistant to it#i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE#and it was bc i’d done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless#it’d be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19#but i’d processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on#FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick#then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything#it’s so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life#i would’ve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself#ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt#available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival#and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches#the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair#and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true#and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears#i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30#it was all so sudden and quick and shocking#yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit#and i’d go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant#over this bullshit#it’s so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies#everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS#it’s all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm#it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.
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Please tell me I’m not going to watch Aliens this weekend. Please convince me not to. I already rewatched it a few weeks ago
#🌹 eclipse talks#I tend to not rewatch the same movie in too short of a span of time#Because if I do I usually get a bit tired of it and I don’t like that feeling#But I’m strongly considering this
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what's your favorite Anderson headcanon?
while I have a lot of random Anderson headcanons... my absolute favorite has to be him having a soft spot for animals
since they fall along the lines of innocent creatures that can do no wrong- which I feel fits along the lines of his orphanage work. Picking stray kids and stray cats off the streets, just Anderson and his pack of strays <3
#i contribute#my art#alexander anderson#hellsing#analysis n headcanon#---#he's an absolute softie#and nobody can prove me otherwise#he's an emotional wreck#feelings be both his strength and weakness#protective instinct!!! just try to best him-#protective instinct!!! oh no- he cares for alucard-#hc that he's an absolute pushover aswell...#children ask him for things like toys or snacks and he's like 'we'll see...' and comes the following day if not day of with their demands#everybody else just glaring at him because he's a bad influence#cats get the same treatment#they ask for seconds of food despite just eating#and within the span of a minuite anderson caves and gives them each a little bit more#my source of evidence?#maxwell.#just look at how maxwell turned out.#and try to tell me anderson doesn't spoil the orphans
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hug from aaron?
#besties i swear september is just not my month idk#like what the fuck#i’m kinda going through it#not kinda I Am going through it#i’m gonna rant a bit#i’m at work all day#leaving my house at 7am and returning around 9pm#and it’s so stressful i’m constantly anxious with a weight on my chest#and feeling not appreciated for all the things i do there#my grandma is very very sick (she’s like a mom to me) and i don’t even wanna think about losing her#i lost my other three grandparents in the span of a year - and it hasn’t even been a year yet since the first one we lost#and now i’m gonna lose my grandma who has literally raised me#i’m tired i just want a calm and peaceful fall#it’s all i wanted
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i know Zelda team said theyre kinda done with this iteration of hyrule so theres no DLC and thats fine i guess but i wanna know why they made certain choices
#trying not to feel the resentment for the development cycle aches only to be a bit stiffed on the lore side yknow#like as a creative type with a fucked up attention span i get it 100% but OOF hard mode at least#i dont need a whole ass novel i just want a little bit of thought process#ALSO GIVE ME KASS#i refuse to believe they killed him off in the blizzard what a bullshit move thatd be#Penn seems to think he's alive anyway#rory's ramblings#botw/totk blogging
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