#this episode rewired my brain chemistry

[rascallyrose92]

“I am dirty. It's true. You were right about me, Akito. Because, even as I rejected your eternity, I was wishing for the same things. For forever.”

Tohru Honda, Season 3 Episode 9

“What’s Your Name?”

[n3arell-art]

the worst of all blessings // the best of all curses

[courageisneverforgotten]

isaac asimov? you mean the guy from mythic quest?

[shigayokagayama]

one of the best trick mob psycho pulls is lulling you into thinking its a fun slice of life about a kid with psychic powers hunting ghosts for the first four episodes then hitting you with the

[owlinks]

what do I do with myself after hearing "I see you as the only star in the sky"

[whatkindofnameisella]

me watching episode 12 of c2 for the first time. me watching episode 12 of c2 for the third time. me watching episode 12 of c2 when im 50. me watching episode 12 of c2 when im 75. me watching episode 12 of c2 when im on my death bed.

[inklore]

impetuous

premise: the little games you and joel like to play become risky when you almost get caught.

pairing: joel miller x smuggler!reader

word count: 1.4k

warnings: eighteen+ content, unprotected piv, established enemies with benefits, dirty talk, a certain clothing item being used as a gag, small mention of masturbation and bjs, hints of angst.

note: episode eight changed me as a person, the integration scene rewired my brain chemistry and i just needed to get this out before i collapsed from being in heat. the gif was made by me so don't steal pretty please.

part of this world but you don't have to read it to enjoy this!

“Shh, shh,” Joel silences you, just as a hard thrust of his cock has your mouth falling open, a moan filling the air of the damp shed. The crunch of sticks and gravel outside makes your already thumping heart beat faster against your rib cage.

Brows drawn together, the hands gripping onto Joel’s flannel digging into his sides. The thumb that was just pressed to the column of your throat—dirty palm squeezing your airway just enough to lower your moans, enough to make you wetter and less coherent—now moves down to where you’re bare and his cock is fucking into you. The rough pad of his thumb moving along your clit, “focus right here.” 

Ignore the noises outside. 

Ignore the possibility of getting caught by someone out after dark and up to no good. 

Ignore the possibility of getting thrown in a cell by FEDRA because you two were out after dark and up to no good. 

“Fuc-Joel,” you whine. Clench your eyes shut until all you can see is little white dots behind them. Try to focus on those, on the burn you feel from the tears that are now prickling at your lash line from how hard you’re trying to focus. 

From how hard you’re trying to keep your mouth shut, to not getting caught—at least not before you’ve come. 

Joel’s words “focus right here” mocking and blaring in your head like a song you can’t stop humming, a song stuck in your head, a song you want to bodily remove from your brain stem; your focus on the footsteps outside no longer the issue; your attentions shifting to the head of his cock, hitting every spot inside of you that makes your legs tighten around his hips more, on the burning pleasure he’s delivering to your clit right now. 

You couldn’t focus on anything but him if you tried, and you’re trying really hard to focus that attention on staying quiet. 

Which the two of you know is not your forte, in and out of this situation. 

The countless times when Joel’s not fucking you come to the forefront of your mind of him complaining about your need to argue, to talk talk talk, instead of the two of you doing a trade, or making the other come. 

“Anyone ever told you you talk too much?” 

"Well, one of us has to do the talking, Mr. Resting Grump Face. Besides, you’d be bored if I didn’t make you work for what you came for.” 

“That what you call it? Workin’ for it? You mean until I give you what you want because you can’t seem to ask for it unless you’re deliverin’ me bad news,” he had smirked. Wiped the grin from your face and covered it with his mouth seconds later as he backed you into the wall, groin grinding against your front. “I got better uses for that mouth.” 

The scrape of the metal table your ass is on moves each time Joel thrusts, each time his cock drags against your sensitive walls over and over. If it weren’t for his jeans still covering half of him, the sounds of your skin moving against each other—and your wetness that was more than likely staining the front of his jeans, the small window in the back doing little to help light anything but his face and neck—would cover up the mewls and cries making your throat hoarse and raw each time they slip out when you fight to swallow them down. 

“The only way you know how to be quiet is with my cock in your mouth.” There’s humor in his tone; his heavy breaths add more heat to your face. You feel his free hand run along your leg, moving it from his hip for half a second as he pulls your underwear from your calf and over your ankle until it’s in his palm and he’s pushing the material into your mouth. 

You can taste the remnants of your arousal on the cotton, from even before the two of you started your little game. When it was still just a simple trade of stolen items and things your boss was too cowardly to hand off to the big bad grump. When he had just been scowling at you, listening to your bullshit story, and bidding the time until one of you cracked. Before both of you threw the items to the side and Joel’s hands were bending you over the nearest surface or pushing you to your knees. 

You swallow around the material, your whimpers caught by the fabric and barely audible. His lips press against the material, barely touching your lips; the sweat on his forehead mingles with your own as he presses it against yours. “Focus on comin’ for me, take what you came for. C’mon. Come with me,” he grunts. Moves his hips in a way that has your eyes rolling back and your teeth biting the salvia-soaked cotton. 

The hand not rubbing fast circles on your clit, cups the back of your skull. His dirty fingers wrapped in your hair, keeping you in place. Keeping you bent at the perfect angle so your hips can meet his. So his thumb has access to that nerve that’s making your toes curl—to push his cock further and further into you so the tip hits something pleasurably painful. 

When you’re coming, when his name is muffled against your underwear and your nails are clinging and digging into his skin from the searing heat that has your body convulsing against him—"That's it, that's it, take it” murmured against your forehead—you feel him finish seconds later. Your walls clenching and spasming around his cock. A deep grunt breathed against your skin. 

Your insides feel warm, like jell-o left out in the sun. Like if Joel never moved from between your legs and the two of you stayed connected forever, you wouldn’t mind. 

And after he’s pulled out and his warmth is gone from your body, you quickly shoot down the disappointment rising up inside of you that he didn’t stay between your legs longer. That this part of the night is over, and now you’re back to the game. 

To the reason you snuck out after dark to begin with. 

Completely denying yourself any opposing thought that could put that reason into question. The two of you have been doing this for too long for your mind to think it’s something it isn’t. 

Even when he doesn’t just take what he came for and leave or shoot you a scowl when he helps you find your pants, the way you expect him to. 

Or how he doesn’t let you go first no matter how much arguing you do against it—how he makes sure the coast is clear before signaling it’s safe. Him hanging behind to—cover his ass, you’re sure—make sure when you slip down the dark alleyway, no one is there to catch you sneaking away into the night. 

And later, when you’re laying in bed, you’ll chalk up the pounding need you feel again as you remember Joel’s rough fingers against you—your jaw, your neck, digging into your sides, your shoulder to keep you from moving anywhere but against him, anywhere but where he wouldn’t be inside of you—and his words still playing in your head “focus right here, come with me”, your heart will pick up, and you’ll have no choice but to sedate the ache you feel by making yourself come. Joel’s name on your tongue and bit into your bottom lip; you’ll blame it on his stupid mouth and your lack of options for sexual partners in this hell hole. 

It won’t be because of an attachment or attraction of any kind. 

Fuck that. 

And tomorrow, when you tell Robert to do his own fucking deliveries, it won’t be because of your feelings but instead because you almost got caught last night. This little game becoming more of a risk than entertainment for you, and you’ll be damned if you get in the mix with FEDRA over Joel and the underlying need the both of you have to pick each other apart and pull the hatred you harbor inside out with teeth, tongues, and fingers that make you see stars. 

But Robert is spineless, and you’re not convincing enough to make yourself believe you want to end anything with Joel. 

[fudgetunblr]

Since Sherlock is trending I feel like I need to say this if I haven’t: the last episode of Sherlock ruined me and I have yet to recover almost six years after it’s airing. I’m pretty sure that my life started going downhill after that. I will never be okay again, that Moriarty fake being alive, five years earlier flashback fundamentally changed me as a person, it rewired my brain chemistry and I have never trusted since.

[autistichalsin]

Actually one more Ted Lasso post before I go to bed but:

The moment that gets me the most in Mom City is the fuck you-thank you scene with Ted and his mom. Not just because of the acting, which IS phenomenal, not just because of the closure for Ted's story, but for personal reasons too.

It gave me something that, when I watched this episode for the first time, I desperately needed. And it is so rare to get this from anywhere, let alone a TV show.

What it gave me was permission to be angry. Even though there were good times, even though my parents did their best, the show all but looked me in the eye and said. Yeah. It's okay. You can see they did, but you're also allowed to see what they did to you too, and be hurt at that.

Ted's mom loved him and did everything to cheer him up and she did her best after Ted's dad died, and she never modeled healthy emotions for him and she never gave him a space to feel or talk about his grief, making him feel like he could never show it. She loved him, she gave him everything she could- and sometimes it wasn't enough. And he can be both things, angry, and full of love. Thank you, but fuck you. Fuck you, but thank you.

My mom was traumatized and doing her best to raise kids she loved and not hurt them, AND she utterly failed and continued the cycle on me and my siblings. I can love her, but she was also a terrible mother to me. Thank you, but fuck you.

My dad was traumatized too and scared and doing his best, and he totally failed to protect me from my mom every time he had a chance to help me. He loved and loves me, but when I needed him most, he enabled my mom's abuse instead of helping me. Thank you, but fuck you.

There was something so healing about that. About the show telling me it didn't have to be one thing. I didn't have to be okay with it. I didn't have to hate them either. I didn't have to cut them out but I didn't have to pretend all was well. I was hurt, but I was also hurt by hurt people, and as my therapist always says, hurt people hurt people.

Thank you, but fuck you. You did your best, but you hurt me.

Fuck you, but thank you. You hurt me, but you did your best.

All the media I've consumed that dealt with themes of abuse and healing- and this is the one that hit me like a gut punch. That said the one thing I was waiting for someone to say.

"And."

I needed an "and".

Yes, what happened to me wasn't okay, AND. Yes, I love my family, AND.

Yes, Ted has a sweet mom who's prouder of him than words can ever say and who would give the clothes off her back to someone in need, AND.

Yes, Ted's mom never showed him that it was okay to feel sadness and anger and fear, and made him feel he had no choice but to bury his grief after his father's suicide, AND.

Like, I feel like this episode fundamentally rewired my entire brain chemistry just by giving me permission, by showing me you can have these complicated emotions.

Thank you, Ted Lasso, for giving a voice to something I felt so alone in feeling- and fuck you, Ted Lasso, for fucking ending the show.

[johnnystorrm]

doctor who season 14 episode 6 "rogue" has absolutely rewired my brain chemistry by the way, i cannot stop thinking about it.

[episodeoftv]

Prelims, Vote 8 of 8

The top 5 finales will move on to be included in the main bracket

Propaganda is under the cut, may include spoilers

Brooklyn Nine-Nine - 8.09 / 8.10 The Last Day

It just... season 8 had been so bad as a whole, it attempted to touch on the blm movement and did it in an okay at best way and in the wake of it all, i think a lot of people just weren't here for cop shows. The finale tried to bring the magic back with one last heist and it did pull out all the stops but I don't know, it just left me feeling really cold. And the ending being that even though the main character wasn't a cop anymore, that he would return to the station every year for the heist... it just never escapes the cop narrative even after he's left.

Chén Qíng Lìng/The Untamed - Episode 50

I nominate this final on grounds of CCP information control, censorship and homophobia. They were so scared of the power of wangxian that they ended up banning ao3 in china and in the show they have to inexplicably have them part ways just to hammer home the no-homo. Plus the show is just kind of objectively bad.... but it rewires your brain all the same

Community - 6.13 Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television

ok i haven’t watched it in a while but it wasn’t the episode’s fault this show had been going downhill for a while. The finale put it out of its misery mostly.

Kyle XY - 3.10 Bringing Down the House

The writers knew they were getting canceled and chose to raise more questions than answers and set up cliffhangers, rather than have a satisfying end. I'm sure it was a last ditch effort to save the show, but it didn't work and now it's just a bad finale.

Northern Exposure - 6.22 Let's Dance / 6.23 Tranquility Base

No propaganda submitted

Ozark - 4.14 A Hard Way to Go

No propaganda submitted

Soul Eater - 1.51 The Word Is Bravery!

ugh god it just gave up on any attempt at character development or the ending of the story in any meaningful way. instead of a complex universe journey exploring her bond with soul, and death the kid becoming the new god of death, maka just...wins the day by 'being brave', extremely underwhelming and borderline nonsensical

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - 7.25 / 7.26 What You Leave Behind

Man so okay like it’s not the worst worst one out there but man they really just fuckikg did that. Found family all went and spread themselves across the quadrant with the head of the show the leader, Captain Benjamin Sisko who really just wanted to live on Bajor, got turned into an incorporeal being who could no longer live a linear life while his wife and unborn child had to go on without him. They didn’t even have him saying goodbye to his actual son. His literal son did not get a goodbye, they only gave that to Kasidy, and no hate to Kasidy, she’s my girl, but she’s only been there for three year while his actual son Jake sisko was still basically a kid. He was like 19, 20 and no goodbye fork his dad he’s lost time and time again. Some characters got a satisfying ending but then Julian Bashir is left to stay on deep space nine supposedly still in love with Ezri Dax and together (but let’s be honest, it was a terrible forced decision. They made no sense, and had no chemistry) and still stuck without moving forward or changing. Like what a cop out. Not to mention the terrible cgi fire caves where literally gods got thrown into a fire pit and that was the big climax

[therethatstar]

that little, soft look of complete, awe surprise, and hungry desire, on phum's features when peem flips phum over in episode 15, tilting his chin up with his hand, whispering mischievously, flirting, hungry, "my turn."

is going to kill everyone, i think

okay who is this i need you to be brave enough and come off anon

if this actually happens, it’s going to change the course of my life. it will be a moment that deserves a place in history book. will literally rewire the chemistry in my brain. and i am READY

also i love that we’re all collectively setting ourselves up for bottom phum knowing that we probably won’t get it…. like i love being delusional and i love that a lot of you are with me. TO ALL OF THE BOTTOM PHUM ENABLERS WE SHALL RISE ✊🏻

[goyurim]

so i've been trying to learn chinese The Conventional Way(TM) and i have all these apps and books and traditional resources and there are so many of them and theyre all really really great but.

i've realised the reason i began understanding so much korean so fast is bc i got embarrassingly obsessed with kdramas to the point that i lived and breathed them and it was all that auditory input that excelled my learning from 0 to 100

so i think what i need is to get absolutely hooked on cdramas. i dont need them caffeinated ones like that one cup of coffee every morning that wakes you up. i need to sniff that powdered white opium that straight up rewires your brain chemistry ykwim

so ive watched some romcoms and theyre fun and stuff but what really stops me from sticking with them is that there's no motivation to continue watching them when i'm not in the mood for escapist romanticism. my favourite genres lean into mystery/thrillers (those tend to be my favourite kdramas too - yk the stuff that really makes you think) and im looking for engaging thrillers, (not necessarily with, but would be appreciated if they have) morally ambiguous characters, modern setting, and good actors. but most importantly - short and sweet - if the show wraps up within like 20 episodes then i'll be more inclined to binge.

so. any recs?

[magicalmyu]

you're the only one awake when i feel like rambling so usually you're the one subjected to everything

but anyways I SHOULD REALLY GIVE YOU A LINK TO THE YO KAI WATCH MOVIE LOL its only subs (cant find the dub) and its on one of those ad filled pirating websites but it was worth it, i dont know if they still have the dubbed movie on streaming platforms in the us

on the topic of ellie and emi's beef, yeah it did technically start out as one-sided, but that was because ellie didnt know who emi was 😭 she had the worst first impression ever though, and even though she tries to be nice about it, she can never truly forgive emi for all the pain she's caused her

oh yea and i should finish radiant huh

important question: since you are my test subject and have witnessed me going insane over past interests, rank my holy trinity of pre-honkai faves (hop, peabody+sherman, and keizou+fuyunyan)

follow up question: if you still remember any of my ocs which one do you like the best

TEST SUBJECT?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN TEST SUBJECT </3

ALSO Sorry for taking so long to respond to this I kept falling asleep LMAO.

OKAY SO: My ranking is kinda weird because I've never played or watched Pokemon or Yokai BUT.. I think personally it'd go Peabody and Sherman <- Hop <- and Keizou and Fuyunyan.

I don't really have any logical reasoning for it. I just know more about Peabody and Sherman (and it's really cute and sweet), and Hop seems like a silly little guy. I've only learned recently about Keizou and Fuyunyan which is why they're third.

As for the OC question: It depends on what set of OC's you're talking about.. I really liked the one about the girl and her robot living their last days on earth together. I don't know why it's just interesting to me LMAO-

As for Pokemon OC's.. Ellie is honestly the one I remember most about ngl. The several storylines/universes is really interesting to me. Also, love how no matter what both her and Emi have constant beef whether it is one-sided or not.

Honestly, I love learning about Angel in general so I'm kinda biased. Especially with Crown the little cabbage rabbit.

[dungeonclown]

Dungeonclown D20 “Rankings”

In quotes bc i love pretty much all of them and just had to post this for posterity and if one of my friends asks which season(s) to watch. [Bullet Points not in any particular order]

Level 0: did not finish

Pirates of Leviathan (lovely cast but i couldnt get all the way thru due to audio quality issues from being the first remotely recorded show.)

Shriek Week (gabe hicks)

Coffin Run (didn’t hold my interest)

Level 1: I Really Like This 😊

Fantasy High Sophomore Year (i love this season, literally the only downside was the livestream format. No!!)

Fantasy High (OG - we’ve come so far)

Tiny Heist (i mean, so darling, so funny. what so u expect)

Mice & Murder (better quality for remote but could tell the cast would have killed it in person since the zoom call situation is a big barrier)

Misfits & Magic (very cute and wholesome. Spaulding forever)

The Seven (needed more episodes to tell the story!!! wish they had sets and minis; covid problems)

Neverafter (love the themes and imagery, such a good study on storytelling.)

Dungeons & Drag Queens (fave sidequest character art and minis, mainly so impressed by brennans skill as a gm for new players/roleplayers)

Level 2: I Absolutely Love This 🤩

Fantasy High Junior Year (first show watched as it was airing, best FH yet, mary anne skuttle what more could u ask for)

Unsleeping City Part 2 (literally only downside is being filmed remotely. Breaks my heart they couldnt do this in person since this season is so special. BUT - got to see character art and illustrated backgrounds which was really fun)

A Crown of Candy (goddamnit brennan)

The Ravening War (goddamnit matt)

Mentopolis (superb cast w great chemistry and just lots of fun idk man i just think theyre neat)

Burrow’s End (fucking incredible storytelling by aabria, the cast, the crew w sets and minis and SHADOW PUPPETS goddamn.)

Never Stop Blowing Up (so stupid so joyful im just happy to be here)

Level 3: Has a Special Place In My Heart 🥰

Unsleeping City (some of my all time favorite characters and i just love how deeply these people love and understand New York City. Its the molecular structure of NYC in a show and its special)

Escape from the Bloodkeep (the first season i was like I Have To Stop Immediately And Share This With My Family. Every character is perfect. Every NPC is perfect. The minis and sets are darling. Every day i think about Hamhead and about muh hert)

A Court of Fey & Flowers (i just love them, i never thought id be invested in regency shit but if you put it in the feywild and add goblins and hobgoblins and owlbears and idiot bird people and shit im so down goddamn. Killed it. Absolutely killed it. Also gorgeous sets and costumes and props??? Gagged.)

Level 4: Rewired My Brain Chemistry 💀

A Starstruck Odyssey (screaming, crying, throwing up. The energy of these people being in person after covid creates a truly incredible maelstrom of dumb beautiful bozo shenanigans. id give a kidney for more ASO content. I Love This Show. And that it was based off of Starstruck is so fuckin special. This setting is amazing. also big barry syx is the exact bullseye of character im obsessed with that it makes me feral to think about him. I was going to joke that he was made in a lab specifically to appeal to my big beefy sex idiot himbo mercenary sensibilities but thats exactly his backstory and im mad about it)

[dirtyreusablehandkerchief]

One more fvcked up bingo: ayour fav version(s) of megastar (⁠✯⁠ᴗ⁠✯⁠)

uhuhuhu >:)

TFP:

i don't just ship this pairing: i eat, drink and BREATH this pairing. the webcomic YukiOni on deviantart made of these 2 changed my fucking brain chemistry and rewired my neurons, i swear.

they're a sexy villain couple that has a size difference and makes haters froth at the mouth, how could i not love them???

also these 2 shows why the writers in any transformers continuity aren't allowed to make them get along for more than 5 minutes: because they'll decimate the autobots and the show or comic won't have the chance to go beyond, like, 5 episodes or 1 issue.

"WHERE is all the fucking CONTENT" box filled because i'm asking the exact same thing!! it seemed like people were churning out content of this specific version of this pairing like there was no tommorow waaay back in the olden days. nowadays, though, i don't see a lot of it. it's as far as can be from being a rarepair but i still would like new content of this pairing to be put out at the same pace as back then.

i'd love to be the one doing this but unfortunately, my energy levels are constantly at 20% * peter griffin death pose *

bayformers:

my second favorite version of this pairing! unfortunately, i don't get to indulge in this one much 'cuz there aren't a lot of content of them and i can't draw the bay transformers to save my life (THERE'S SO MANY DETAILS WHICH ONES SHOULD I KEEP AND SIMPLIFY AND WHICH ONES SHOULD I THROW AWAY AAAAAAAAAA).

unlike every other version of megastar, i can't see them being a villainous power couple triumphing over the autobots and anyone that dares stand in their way and/or settling down and having tons of kids. instead i can only see them settling down and just having tons of hatchlings 'cuz they are just. so. tired. megatron especially, dude's died like twice and starscream has died once