#this doesnt even have a point or main message i just wanted to yell about tenten's character moments that i love

[erumai-maadu]

so my favorite arc in the whole series, the curry of life arc, is my fave because it has this amazing tenten character moment in there where we get to see tenten’s worldview and opinions.

she has this quick bit of dialogue with ranmaru about how she hates when people are weak and indecisive, and she hates people who can't function on their own. Now admittedly there's a bit of an ableist undercurrent to what she's saying but I don't really think she's knocking people with chronic illness. I think she's talking about people with a mentality like haku, where they only live for one person, and when that person is gone, they don't have a purpose.

she doesn't like people who are blindly devoted to one person or people who can do things and function on their own but willingly choose not to. this moment also shows a lot about her mindset, how she values self-sufficiency in others, and by extension, herself.

later, in the next episode, she yells at ranmaru about his lack of wanting to live, telling him that he doesn't get to just choose when he wants to die because the people he helped raiga kill didn't get that choice, and as punishment, he won't either.

it’s a really unique tenten moment in the series because most of the time she’s a background character played for comedy or her serious character moments focus on her training failures and how she deals with them. it’s rare that we get to see tenten’s worldview and philosophy stated directly in the series, and in fact, this is the clearest that we ever get it. most of the time we just have to extrapolate based on her actions, but here she just says it out loud, and even argues with naruto about it.

tenten is such an interesting character to me even though we don't get to see much of her development as a person and as a ninja the snippets we do see even if intended to be comical show her to be strict and self-critical but also aware of her own limits. the way she ponders her self-worth and deals with failure is so realistic, at least to me. she takes failure hard (who wouldn't??) but ultimately bounces back from it. like yeah sure they're ninjas and whatever but she's still a 17 year old girl wondering why every one is so far ahead, wondering why she is so slow. like she may not have much screen time (an atrocity) but i find that there's a lot more to her than the done with everyone member of team gai. BUT maybe im biased and looking too deeply into it because she's my favourite idk. at the end of the day even though I would've liked to see more of her and her abilities I don't mind making a meal out of scraps yknow

[onlygotthisforkillerchatfanfics]

Exocommunicated by the Devil

Hehehe got inspired so angst. 

Bg info. This happens sometimes after ronin’s ending. ronin and y/n (mc) had a falling out. This caused Ronin to ignore y/n. Everyone in the group noticed but didn't want to comment about it except angel.

Angelic: Hey, are you alright? 

  Ronin seems to be ignoring you…ah sorry I must be overstepping ^^

Y/n: No, No it's really fine

       Your not overstepping at all :)

Angelic: Thank you I was worried

  …if you want I can message Ronin

Y/n: NO

       Oops sorry…what i meant is that this is something between me and Ronin

Angelic: No its fine I get it…

              Well uhm if you ever need me to talk to him im here ^^

Y/n: Thank you I will <3

I cant have angel worry about something between be and Ronin. I slump in my chair as I wonder what could the reason be? Why is Ronin ignoring me? Unconsciously my mouse is right above goreboy. Fuck, should I just text him? 

I run my hand through my hair as I contemplate what to do. You know what fuck it. I need to know. We should be able to talk it out…right?

Y/n: Hey

 I just wanted to ask what I did wrong?

        If you tell me I can fix it

        Look you can ignore me in main chat but i know your there

        I can see your online.

Right after I send that he goes offline. Playing the same trick I did a long time ago. That's fair I guess, but now we're dating.

Y/n: I can see what your doing

       …

       fine, play that way then

       But please respond

For the past few days, Ronin hasn't replied to me and still ignores me in the chat.

“For fucks sake” you know what its whatever. I sit there in my chair for what feels like forever.

Its so silent… usually I’m on call with Ronin and it makes me forget all about my thought. Without him here idk what to do with myself.

What if Ronin doesn't love me anymore? What if everything is my fault? God damnit, without Ronin being a constant annoyance, these thoughts won't leave my head. I just sit there staring off into nothing.

After awhile my gaze follows the fly buzzing around my room. I wonder if my life is as feeble as that fly. It seems so small and insignificant in everyone's eyes… Ronin’s eyes—nothing but an annoyance. I can’t tell if my head is buzzing because of the fly or my thoughts. I spin in my chair, contemplating how and why I’m here. 

Fuck I'm thinking too much. I should go for a walk. I get up from my chair, putting on my shoes as I make it out the door. The chilly air makes me shiver, but I continue onwards. I have no idea where I'm going but I just keep walking. I'm lost in thought as I roam endlessly. I look up and realize my legs have taken me to the same alleyway me and Ronin met. I stand there for a good few minutes reminiscing about the day.

“y/n?” I hear my name being called by the voice I vividly remember. It’s been etched into me at this point. I don even turn in his direction before replying “what do you want, Ronin?” 

“Hmm nothing. If anything why are you here? You gonna dance with the devil again, darlin?” Ronin says in a sickly sweet voice. I used to love it so much so why does it revolt me. He acts like he didn't ignore me these past few days. I turn to look at him and I see blood all over him. Seems like he just finished killing someone.

“Don't act like you haven't ignored me” My voice grows angrier.

“Oh come on darlin don't act like that.” He sounds so happy like this is all a joke. I fucking hate it.  Yet I love it so much

“Shut up” I said under my voice

”Huh what was that darlin~ its not like I meant to ignore you.” Stop sounding so damn happy “I know your lying” 

“Me lying? Never~” Ronin says so giddy. Like he enjoys watching me like this

“Shut up Ronin!” I yell at him being visibly angry. Just why, why did it have to be him? Why did he have to be here now “okay okay listen to me, I didn't ignore you because I wanted to, it was because I was scared” Ronin starts, he doesnt sounds like he regrets anything.

”I loved you then and still do.” My breath hitches in my throat as he spits out these words. He begins to walk towards me grabbing my chin, making me look at him “I regret ignoring you ever since that day.” Even though he says this he's smiling

Hah if he regretted it so much, why didn't he reply to me? He thinks he can just lie like that?

This disgusting piece of trash. I smack his hand off my face. “Don’t you fucking touch me!” 

Ronin looks shocked at first but his eyes change into those of amusement as he takes a few steps back. I glare at him as I continue.

 “You said you were scared and said you loved me. I remember you used to tell me you loved me because I saw you for you. I saw more of you than anyone else. But did you see me? Was I there or was I just your cane?” 

I look down at my feet, my voice cracking “I…loved you too. I was scared, but I was willing to fight for you, us. I let you hide out at my place!” I let out a choked sob as tears roll down my face. 

All I see is Ronin's face contorted into that of regret and guilt when I look up. That was the first time I saw him look like that “But you…ran. If you want me to open up and trust you, why don't you open the door!? You have the key.” (literally and figuratively)

With that, I walk out of the alleyway “Wait y/-!” I don’t bother looking back as I walk out of the alleyway turning the corner. 

I hear his footsteps getting louder, and closer. Fuck I hate feeling like this. Before he gets any closer I run home with tears and snot running down my face. The cold air freezing my face. When I get home I slowly pull out my keys to unlock the door but before I can someone hugs me from behind and whispers in my ears “I’m sorry” 

[itsbebebrainrotting]

Rant incoming, sorry!!

Do they even know WHY they are fighting and killing??

Im still trying to figure out why tubbo and bad thought to attack red first and then yell revenge when red retaliated. Like, why?? (I'm crow and red main so I probably won't watch the others for the lolz) Chaotic angst energy.

And people keep saying because of Dapper and what Dapper said. And I'm like "what?" Because with that same logic/energy qPhilza can say the same if decided to do the same. "Chayanna said to protect Tallulah no matter what- so Ima kill everyone in sight for whatever reason." That sounds crazy. Right? (Is it just me??)

Like we(their little community/family) been talking and communicating all this time why now does it go out the window? because some random guy who doesnt like us said so? (Quackity did warn them in Brazil tho)

We know the fed dont like us and can't be trusted so why are we not having that same energy towards this guy?

Like I get it, I do. Things are on the line or so it seem but why aren't we actually thinking things through?? Talking?? Coming up with a plan to get everyone and the eggs home. Do we not care for all life anymore?

Its about to be Day 3 and I am so drained from Day 1. Like Charlie's voice, I'm struggling now. My soul is heavy as a red pov.

And yes we won Day 2 but everything has consequences... like please..

I- I just want them to talk for more than a couple seconds.. minutes before thoughts of killing off rip..

*peepoHands*

(I hope it was okay to come to you)

Dont worry about the rant! I like hearing other peoples opinions on things and dont get many asks often so anythings appreciated.

As someone whose main povs are team blue i still understand you entirely but also can explain a couple things (in a similar ranty form lol):

First of all as to why they were killing: I think on day one the competitive nature of the event was at the forefront of blues mind. Bad had been told by his son (who, remember, he literally kidnapped a worker to save) to do anything to win even if it hurt others. Which honestly does imply hostility a bit more than chayannes message. Tubbo also wants chayanne and tallulah (and richarlyson) back like theyre his own children (and has definitely been over excited and trying to prove himself as leader of blue so is being more competitive for his own pride). They were thrust into this situation with all that in mind and just wanted to win by any means, or at least thats the vibe i got.

None of them fully understood the rules of the event either. They tragically fell to the tragic mcyt curse of not reading instructions. They didnt even think about the cursed team until i think it was slime who said he thought red was cursed at which point niki insisted (and still insists) she doesnt think there is a cursed team. Tubbo thought the cursed team changed daily, if you want further proof that rules were not at the forefront of their mind. They just wanted to win since that was what the eggs had said to do. Of course now ccs are more aware of the rules they are keeping them in mind but no one seems to be proposing full teamwork yet.

Funny enough, i think ive mentioned it in a post before but red being their target on day 1 was entirely on accident. Bad killed slime first under the impression he was on green and then continued to go for his team because they happened to be not too far. From what ive gathered, green was bloodthirsty but struggling to find the other teams so thats why blue and red originally started fighting. As for getting angry at retaliation? I think thats just competitive spirit getting in the way.

The whole thing was slightly frustrating personally from a viewer pov because im exactly with you in the fact that they should be talking. They should be figuring out the cursed team. They should be boosting the cursed teams stats. But they didnt understand that and instead went hostile immediately due to the newness of the whole thing.

Even yesterday bad was considering killing red and i was a little frustrated. I get that he was annoyed (if u dont know yesterday blue grinded global tasks but were barely gaining percentage compared to etoiles - at one point they handed smth in and got like 1% - and bad thought kills may have helped them a bit) but blue didnt need to win day 2! If anything that wouldve been detrimental to them considering the cursed team is still unknown (but bbh thinks blues cursed so...). Eventually he settled on bargaining with them by offering something in return for a kill but never got a chance to because he ran out of time. Still, the suggestion was a bit frustrating at the time as someone who was seeing red having a terrible time from liveblogs.

I definitely consider most of day one out of character, as there is no way in hell the characters shouldve been acting the way they did considering all they were supposed to know. Even if qbbh would do anything for dapper he definitely wouldnt outright hurt his friends or risk the other eggs chances of survival. (Also this entirely broke cellbits current arc of being very agressive considering how badly hes been beat down this event.)

Even just hearing about red on both days was draining for me. The one reason im not vodwatching them is that i could feel the draining vibes from liveblogs alone so i cant image what it must be like to main them and while im happy they won, their strategy today was a lot more aggressive compared to everyone else who was trying to tone it down a bunch so i fear for the next few days on everyones povs as the aftermath of that plays out.

Thankfully ive heard bagi wants to unite the teams and bad and baghera discussed getting a group together to theorise about the cursed team so maybe between the three of them things can start moving in the right direction and return to being in character and communicating. Todays the event which may not allow for anyone to unite everyone immediately but i hope they do sooner rather than later.

[fantasy-dating-sim-trash]

MC & The Really Not So Rough Day?

Summary: When Satan hasn’t seen MC in a few days, he goes searching for them. A few hours later, life is better for the both of them as they drift off to a good book.

Type: Hurt/comfort (if ya squint its a bit hurt its mostly fluff)

Word count: 2.8k or so (who's counting XD)

CW: Angst, mentions of food, mentions of not eating, yelling, caps lock,

Pairing: Satan X GN!Reader

Authors notes:

So I was in my feels the other day and this is a vent piece so y'all can take it or leave it.

Also this piece is edited and beta read.

And I just wanted a comfort piece of my favorite demon brother Satan. However since I was struggling so hard on some of the wording and phrasing, I had made the choice to ask for help from my friend @ace-in-a-shopping-cart (LIKE UR LITERALLY THE BEST AND I APPRECIATE U HELPUNG ME SO MUCH! I CANT THANK U ENOUGH!!!) to help me polish it and make it shine! As it needed a lot of help to shine like the gem it is. (Like IT NEEDED A LOT OF HELP. So much god damn help.)

So this is for all my fellow satan simps who for one don't get enough content and two just need a little comfort from their favorite demon brother.

The story will be under the read more so it doesnt clog up the dash. And without further ado, I hope y'all enjoy! !

—---

It was nearing the end of the day and Satan found that he couldn’t focus on his book. His thoughts continuously drifted to MC. He hadn’t heard much from them all day besides the bare minimum. If one could even call MC barely responding to texts or messages as ‘the minimum’.

When he had been asking various questions, peppering in questions of how they were doing, he had picked up on the fact that they were avoiding answering how they were and chose to respond to everything besides that. Even then, he had to bring it back up and only ask how they were to even get an answer. When they did respond to it, they said less than five words on the subject before changing the topic to something else or just not responding at all. 

Satan was getting quite worried about MC. It was one of their few days off and, normally, they would spend it with him, his brothers, the royals, or even the other exchange students. They’d be going about and doing various things they individually enjoyed with a smile on their face, laughing and lighting up the room or place they were in.

He smiled slightly to himself at the thought that they rarely ever complained about spending time with most of them. However, he definitely had picked up that they weren’t too fond of spending any time with Lucifer. Usually, after hanging out with him, they would come to Satan afterwards to vent, enjoy the silence, or have him read to them while curled up with him.

Satan noticed MC tended to give him more attention and time than the rest of his siblings, something he wasn’t going to complain about nor point out for fear they’d stop. He had a soft spot for them and would go out of his way to find excuses to spend extra time with them. He always smiled when they did the same.

His frown deepening, Satan shook his head. He was worried about MC, now wasn’t the right time for those thoughts. Placing his finger on his lip, he started softly chewing on his nail to help him focus. It wasn’t hard enough to damage his nail, he didn’t need Asmo giving him another lecture on how to take care of his nail beds. Again. That demon was truly crazy about any kind of skin care and beauty products.

Thinking back to MC’s behavior, Satan was fully aware that, for the past couple of days, they had barely left their room. They had only left it to grab a few light snacks or to shower before proceeding to lock themselves back in their room. He frowned and his forehead wrinkled while deep in thought, the book he was holding completely forgotten. This behavior of shutting everyone out wasn’t usually like them, although the infrequent eating was. Something to work on, he thought before getting back to the main concern of the moment.

They wouldn’t usually just lock everyone out or stop responding. Even if they did, there were always a few people they would keep in contact with. Now, not even those people could get more than a few texts from them before they went silent again. That’s why Satan had tried to message them throughout the day, only to receive messages that were each less than ten words and would be ghosted after only a few replies.

Clearly, they weren’t going to respond to messages from anyone. It wasn’t just Satan that was being ghosted, everyone was. The only way to make certain that they were alright was to go check on them in person. Nodding subconsciously to himself upon making his choice, Satan snapped his book shut automatically. He jumped at the sound, having forgotten the book was even in his hands to begin with. After running his hands through his hair, he noticed that he had fucked up his nail polish by chewing on the nails. Unfortunately for him, he also just remembered that Asmo had just done those nails the day prior. He sighed. That was another problem for the future. Right now, he needed to go check on MC.

--------------

The walk to MC’s room only took a few minutes but, to Satan, it felt like an eternity. His thoughts were driving him crazy. Were they alright? What if something had happened to them?

His thoughts kept going to all the worst case scenarios of things that could have possibly happened to them while alone in their room. While worrying, he subconsciously started chewing on his nails again. He caught himself after only a moment and shook his head. Asmo was going to have a field day with him when he saw what happened to all his hard work.

Finally, Satan reached MC’s door. For the first time since he’d made up his mind to talk to them, he felt himself hesitate. It was even just the slightest of moments but his hand faltered as he raised it to knock on their door. He took a deep breath before lightly tapping his knuckles against the wood.

“Hey. MC? It’s me, Satan. Can I come in? I’m a bit worried about you and could really use being able to hear your voice.” He waited for a few moments, almost holding his breath.

Faintly through the door, he could hear them shuffling around in their bed. Another few moments passed and it became obvious they hadn’t moved from their bed, not even making an effort to get up. Perhaps they were asleep? And they hadn’t heard his knocking because of that?

Satan bit his lip, anxiety rising a few more notches and breathing quickening slightly. This really wasn’t like them at all. Even when they were asleep, he’d usually hear a grunt from them when he knocked. Taking a deep breath, he figured it couldn’t hurt to try again.

Louder this time, he knocked again. “MC? Please, I know you’re in there. You’ve been avoiding everyone the past few days and I’m getting a bit worried out here. I just wanted to make sure you are okay. You don’t have to let me in if you don’t want to, I can just stay out here. Just, please, talk to me? Or tell me to leave. I just,” he could feel desperation grow as no sound came from the other side. “I just want to hear your voice.”

He leaned his head against the door and sighed, closing his eyes. For a moment, he let the cool door ease the headache that was coming. When shuffling came from the room again, and a groan mixed with what sounded like a sob could be heard, Satan decided to try once more.

“MC, if you want me to go away and leave you alone, I’ll respect that boundary and your wishes. All I ask is that you don’t shut me out. I just want to help you and be there for you, just like you’ve been there for me so many times. I don’t exactly know how to do that but I’m trying. You haven’t seemed like yourself lately and I’m worried. I wanted to check on you.” He sighed. “I’ll be right here outside if you want to talk.”

He was about to slide down the door and sit with his back to it when he heard sounds coming from the room. The bedcovers shifted and he heard the bed creak, feet hitting the floor. One last time, he knocked on the door in case they truly had just woken up. “Please, Kitten.” He heard his voice waver, felt it crack. Clearing his throat, he tried again. “Please, let me in and just talk to me. This isn’t like you at all. I know I keep repeating myself here but I really am concerned about you. Kitten, please. Let me help you.”

He waited for a while longer before realizing they might not even open the door, even for him. Dejectedly, he slowly turned away from the door, eyes scanning the corridor for a chair to sit and wait in. He’d told them he would be nearby and didn’t want to break that promise so soon. Just as he took a few steps towards an armchair, he stopped in his tracks.

Behind him came the sound of the door unlocking and slowly creaking open. Quickly, Satan turned around to see only their eyes in the open crack. “MC?” He reached a hand out for them and took a few steps toward them.

He didn’t mind when they quickly latched a claw of a hand around his wrist, barely being phased when they pulled him towards their room. He didn’t expect them to be so quick with it and got the air knocked out of his lungs when his body collided with theirs. “Oopf!” They almost squeaked as they were hit, Satan being the only thing keeping them both from ending up on the floor in a heap. 

He pulled back quickly, hands reaching to cup their face gently. His eyes scanned their face, seeing the deep eye bags and the dull look in their eyes. “Hey. Hey, Kitten. Are you doing okay? Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

They didn’t speak, just shook their head and buried it in his chest, pressing as close to him as possible with a bear hug. Satan returned it, squeezing them as tightly as he could without hurting them. “Hey, it’s okay, MC, you don’t have to say anything. It’s alright, I just want to help you feel better. We all have those days where life is beating us down or we just feel too drained to do anything. And you know what helps me feel better on those days?”

He pulled back to look at them, hands instantly going back up to cup their face, thumbs subconsciously rubbing their cheeks. Just by looking at them, he could tell they were exhausted and probably dead on their feet. MC shook their head no, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Satan smiled gently and booped their nose. “A good story. It’s the perfect distraction from being with your own thoughts and a good way to recharge. Would you like me to read to you?”

MC looked up at him with their eyes wide and pleading before slowly nodding. Satan chuckled and, in one smooth motion, swept them off their feet and into his arms. He kissed the top of their head as he padded over to the bed. He settled himself comfortably as he laid down, pulling the covers over both of them. MC stayed curled up by his side, head on his shoulder and arms keeping him close. Satan smiled to himself as they snuggled closer to him. They sniffled and he couldn’t tell if they were breathing in his scent or just clearing their airways.

He grabbed the book they already had on their night stand and, upon reading the title, chuckled. “Really, Kitten, The Princess Bride? Isn’t that a bit cli- OW!” In complete shock, he looked down at MC, who was glaring at him and trying to look angry after lightly slapping his face. Their own face was quite flushed and Satan tried not to laugh at how adorable they looked. He failed, a few chuckles slipping through. “I’m sorry, Kitten,” he said between chuckles, “you really are just too adorable for words.”

He couldn’t help but notice how their glare deepend even as their face grew even darker when he called them adorable. MC always insisted on saying that they were scary while he kept calling them cute or adorable; It was their one ‘argument’. MC just looked so damn cute, he couldn’t help but bring them even closer to him, one of their legs being thrown over his hip. He kissed their head, ruffling their hair as he was at it. He could feel the heat radiating off of them due to how flustered they were.

Smirking to himself, Satan gave them a reprieve. He pulled his glasses from the case he carried in his pocket and slid them on. “MC, you know I tease. I adore a good cliche as much as the next person, as you well know. Besides, this book is an absolute classic; you just can’t go wrong with a classic.”

Opening the book, he began to read, the arm holding them close shifting so his hand could rub their back. “Chapter one. The Bride. The day that Buttercup was born…”

-------

They stayed like that for a while, Satan running his hand up and down MC’s back soothingly, until he noticed they were dozing off. He paused for a moment, checking how many pages were left in the chapter. It was only a few, he could definitely finish it before stopping.

When he reached the next chapter, MC’s breathing was even and they were mumbling softly in their sleep. Satan stared down at them for a minute or two before slipping the bookmark between the pages to mark the spot. Carefully, he leaned over to place the book on the nightstand without waking them, a task more daunting than it seemed.

When he settled back in again, he let his now free hand card through their hair, lulling them deeper into a sleep he knew they needed more than anything in that moment.  Softly, he snapped his fingers together and turned off the lights, sending the room deeper into a comfortable darkness.

Satan lay there, one hand rubbing MC’s back while the other played with their hair, and tried to keep his emotions in check. Now was not the time to be getting giggly and blushy over holding them, not when they needed their sleep and the contact with another person. He may have failed to keep his cheeks from turning pink but he pushed the giggles down, desperate to not disturb their sleep and to leave them be.

Instead, he lay there and looked at them as if he could memorize their face, commit their features to his memory until they were the only thing he could see when he closed his eyes. He wanted to sear their visage into the backs of his eyelids. Gods, he sounded like he was going mad. Still, it was rare to see them looking so peaceful and he wanted to see it for as long as they let him.

Even as he lay admiring them, his eyes kept slipping shut and a huge yawn caught him off guard. He hadn’t felt tired before and didn’t want to sleep just yet, too busy looking at them to drift off. Sleep, however, had other plans for him and he was soon pulled under by his own drowsiness, succumbing to the river of slumber.

--------

Satan woke up to a high pitched squeal and a flash of light. Squinting his eyes, he barely made out that it was Asmo with his phone out, snapping pictures of them both. 

"OH MY GOODNESS! THIS IS JUST THE CUTEST THING!!!" Asmo yelled, voice feeling as if it were at top volume.

"Asmo, will you be quiet before you wake MC!" Satan whisper-yelled, glaring at his brother. "Get OUT!!!" He said pointing to the door. He then saw Asmo squint and look at his hands more specifically his nails and he hurriedly put his hand down. 

"Satan, I JUST DID YOUR NAILS! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM!?!" Asmo glared at him, putting his hands on his hips and not lowering his volume in the slightest. 

Asmo, this really isn’t the time! MC needs their rest! Now get out!!" Satan raised his voice slightly, still unwilling to wake the sleeping human.

"

Satan felt movement at his side. MC’s hand came up to rub at their eyes, glaring at the other demon. “Asmo, if you don’t get out of my room right now, I will put a curse on your makeup to make sure you end up getting some serious breakouts. And if you both don’t shut the fuck up, I’m going to get fucking pissed off. Whatever drama you have with Satan and his nails can bloody wait. Now, get the hell out of my room, Asmo.” They continued to glare daggers at him until he begrudgingly left.

“Now, can we please go back to sleep?” They looked up at Satan with eyes still heavy with sleep before giggling quietly.

“What? Is there something wrong?” Satan asked, a hand raising to feel his face. His reading glasses were still on his face. They were skewed across the bridge of his nose, an imprint left on his cheeks and temples from the frames. “Oh. Bother.” 

MC laughed again, pulling them off and reaching across him to drop them on the bedside table. They kissed his nose before laying back down and snuggling their head deeper into his chest while they wrapped their arms around him like a large teddy bear, not letting him leave.

Satan chuckled at them and dropped a kiss on their forehead. Soon, they were both curled up beneath the covers and fast asleep once more, both clinging to each other as if it were the most natural thing in the world to want the other close. And to them, it was.

FIN

[tobedeactivatedelectribboogaloo]

Me watching Encanto like

Spoilers for Encanto and also trigger warning for mental abuse

I didn't go into it with high hopes cause hey it's modern Disney. I really started to enjoy it cause like hey!! This isn't something you see a lot like

This is without a doubt an toxic, I would even go as far as abusive, family. BUT, no one is ACTIVLY (except the grandma MAYBE) like, abusing Maribel (forgive me if I get names wrong lol). They're not doing this on purpose, it's simply accidental because they're not aware of the effect of their actions.

But they exclude Maribel in their family. She's THERE and they LOVE her cause she's family! But they don't let her be involved. No one even notices or CARES that she's not in the family photo they take!! Its never even mentioned. She's very obviously excluded from her own family. They all share a house and yet when she goes to talk to her cousin(?) she's very awkward about it... like she doesn't even talk to her often (she could just have been nervous about what she was asking, but it didn't come off that way to me). We hardly even SEE her talk to anyone thats not her parents/siblings or their grandma. The whole point of the movie is she's left out because she's not special and like! That's fucking traumatizing!

Anyway

I was like wow!! This actually seems to have a good message about how a family can be abusive without meaning to and the effect that it has on the victim! Here I am excited for the ending, waiting to see how it all get resolved. I'm expecting Maribel to have a big breakdown and yell at her ENTIRE family about what they've done to her.

Fucking that's it? Her and her grandma talking, her grandma explaining her actions and a very.... simple apology. And then Maribel goes on to sing how oh man it was okay!!! You were mourning your husband and trying to protect us so all that trauma I went through is fine!!! (Not that her husband's death wasn't traumatic but like... that's what you're gonna end it with?)

AND THEN THE REST OF THE FAMILY DOESNT EVEN APPOLOGIZE EITHER?? No one acknowledges that Maribel has suffered most of her life because of her family, what they ALL did(excluding yknow like, the fucking baby). No one besides a half-hearted apology from ONE (sure the main abuser but like...) person. Nothing mentioning that it was EVERYONES involvement that made her suffer.

It just pissed me off how easily that was wrapped up. It might be enough for some people but to me it just continues giving the "family matters above all else and they can never hurt you but if you do you have to forgive them!"

I just WANT to love this movie but the ending SUCKS it's just another horrible message of forgiving your abusers if they're family and they say they're sorry :((

I could go on but I think I'm gonna end it there but just like sheesh 😬

[beetleboo]

long post. one i’ve been trying to make for a while now. hell, i wrote this like... third week of may. didn’t post it until now because i didn’t know if I wanted to.

but something i want to lay out, been wanting to lay out for months. dont want to talk to anyone about it, just want to put the info out there for it to be seen.

if you re/blog this i will block you. i may put this on the relevant sideblog at some point.

because 2020 was the worst year on record for me for a number of reasons, and it’s torn me down to the lowest point i’ve been in a long time, and this is just. everything that’s gone down. not a callout post, no one gets named, but these are all the events

partially in relation to my fandom sideblog, because that’s where i had community, and where it’s all just. gone. doesnt exist anymore.

i started up a server, ages ago now. somewhere i curated to be a positive and safe space for things, and for a while, it was that.

around the end of 2019, spilling over to the start of 2020 when it picked up, i found, both on my blog and in discord spaces, in particular the server i ran, that people no longer talked to me. no one would hold a conversation with me past a few basic responses, no one replied to anything i shared, no one engaged when i tried to start discussions. so i pulled back from the main server - S1. thought it was just a lull in activity. stayed that way for weeks, months, and I just muted the server. no one ever cared about anything i had to say. was lucky if anything i posted got even a token emoji react

was in another, smaller server - S2. people i talked to damn near every day, even in voice. played games together - that became... no fun simply because everyone else was so much better/further ahead in the game. i was completely useless, so didn’t server a function in game and never really felt like anyone actively wanted me around, but i still participated in chat.

but again, no one ever responded to anything I posted beyond maybe a token react

couple people discussing something one day. I contributed with Theory A, and quite immediately got that shut down. few minutes later, they rephrased exactly what I said and happily nattered away. so whatever I said wasn’t worth it when it came out of my mouth but if they talked about it, it was all well and valid. so again, between that specific experience and no one interacting with me, nor anything I post. server muted. treatment taught me no one cared about my presence there.

gave admin rights to S1, my server, to someone I trusted. two requests only: dont delete channels and let me know if you want to invite anyone (since I kept it private)

RYE (i’m just assigning random three letter names to people to keep this straight) posted public invites several times. never asked me. one of the two things i asked. brought it up with them that it bothered me, just got vague noncomittal responses. more public invites. eventually, after having the server muted for months, i handed over full control and left. that was almost a full year ago. none of the people have talked to me in that entire year, through discord or here or anything.

except RYE who sent me a message after a couple months like ‘wow i havent heard from you in a while hope you’re doing ok’. i wasn’t. after a bit but still the same day, i said as much. that i wasn’t doing well. they never responded. and i don’t mean like, they didn’t respond that day. i mean i literally never heard from them until months later when they sent me a meme and also didn’t respond to me commenting on that meme.

and this is one side of things. all of the above was the first half of the year. this next bit happened about. march2020? I was in another server - S3. another place that was a good space at the time. was in voice chat with two other people. started talking about one thing. MIN very suddenly said something along the lines of ‘i don’t care about this i’ll come back when you’re done’

this is one of the very few things that can trigger me - i’ve had a lot of people talk down to me if I dare look excited about anything. when they came back, i asked if they could try to just. depart conversations more softly. MIN always said ‘if i do anything hurtful to you just tell me! i dont want to do that kind of thing!’

this was clearly a lie as they exploded on me, telling me they always have to walk on eggshells around me, that I ask so many things from them. before what I asked them that day, I can only recall one other thing i asked (which was not to talk about a person who was abusive towards me, and they were like ‘yea sure np’ about that, over a year prior’)

the whole thing turned into basically me having to shut down the fact that i was hurt by what they did, had to ignore that now and i had to fawn and placate them and the only thing i got out of that was that my feelings were irrelevant, only theirs.

(incidentally, I have had two other people turn on me in similar ways, accusing me of doing shifty/bad/terrible things, and not being willing to tell me what they are when I ask, only saying that ‘i should know what i did’ so that’s also now a Fun New Bit Of Trauma.)

and that entire weeklong event lead me straight to a breakdown. literal genuine breakdown i cannot convey how devastating that entire scenario was without going into far too many details.

so between all of these things happening in less than six months, with three different community spaces folding and collapsing and fading away from me, with many of the friends i thought i had just. moving on to other things and dropping me. people i talked to every day just not bothering with me anymore. they all have gone on to other stuff and no one ever went ‘hey beets wanna see what i’m up to’ or ‘wanna do this thing with me’

a handful of instances of me saying ‘yeah i’m dealing with these fears that have been reinforced lately that people aren’t safe to deal with, even thought part of me knows they’re probably irrational it feels like i have evidence to back it up’ and people immediately take it personally like i’m saying they’re not safe. despite. me outright saying. i know logically it should be irrational. but their reactions just reinforce it so it’s just a loop and tells me, again, never to bring up any of my problems with anyone.

so this all just reinforces that there’s something wrong with me. couple years back i spoke to a friend and how i was frustrated that I seemed to end up in bad spaces and they said ‘well you’re the one thing in common so its probably your fault’ and obviously they’re not my friend anymore but that has affected me so deeply. i can’t do anything without overthinking, whenever anything goes wrong i tear apart everything i’ve done and everything i’ve said or thought and i don’t know why things keep going bad. i try so hard but i’m just. not right.

so it all teaches me that there’s no point in reaching out in trying to talk to people because if i say ‘hey this hurt me’ i get ignored at best or torn down, yelled at, scolded. no point in trying to talk to new people because everyone just walks away at some point. not even a natural drift apart, i can handle that. but just very suddenly, they’re gone, off with better people doing better things.

roundabout, ties back to ‘consumption versus community’ - this is why i’ve been struggling so hard with lack of engagement on my sideblog. lucky to get a dozen notes on anything i make, unless it’s something other people can use (like mods) and even THEN it’s rare to see much activity. and that was FINE because i had people to talk to elsewhere, who would ask questions and we could back and forth and i shared my stuff and they shared those and it didnt matter if my posts only got a dozen notes because i had friends to talk to.

now i get (example) seven notes, six of which are likes and one is a reblog with no commentary. when i have something with a ton of notes, still, minimal commentary, no one talks to me. even on a mod with five hundred notes it just feels like i went ‘hey i made something :)’ and everyone picked it up and walked away with it, no one went ‘hey this is cool i want to talk to the person who made it.’

and it just feels like 95% of the time, i’m just overlooked. 

and it’s worse than it’s ever been in my entire life, and I wonder, what’s the point of any of this anymore.

why bother to make the posts to share when it all just gets passed by. what’s the point in trying to reach out to new people and make friends when i get lashed out at or left behind? the social is gone out of my social media. i had community, and now it’s gone.

so this has all been going on for months and months and months and hey! suffering. and i dont expect it to get any better, don’t expect this post to fix these issues, but i’ve been trying to say something about all of this for fucking months and i think just, laying it all out is all I can do about it. i’m sure i’ve forgotten some things to touch on but as it is, all these events, all of it happening all together. new traumas, old traumas reawoken, reinforced, i’ve been torn to pieces i don’t know how to function, i can’t remember the last time i felt like even half a real person. taught that the safe, positive spaces that meant so much to me don’t actually exist and they’ll all turn on me and be torn away. nowhere is safe anymore, and trying to make it safe is just going to ruin me again.

people aren’t safe, places aren’t safe, been proven to me time and time again so i just. stay away.

no matter how much i try to fight that, it just doesnt work.

anyway tl;dr beets needs therapy probably

[fipindustries]

Mouth Dreams analysis

MOUTH DREAMS

I dont even need to introduce to you the marvelous mash up works of neil cicierega’s mouth trilogy (now quadrilogy i guess). We all know them, we all love them and we all have our own interpretations of what they mean. For some merely musical shitposting, for others clever experimentation laden with phrases, leivmotifs and themes repeating here and there, and for many a deep and rich bounty of lore, hidden messages, subtextual stories and underlying narratives implied across multiple variations of all star, hidden in the meta data and uncovered only after doing spectrographic analysis on the soundwaves of the songs after being played at x0.000003 times the speed. It is usually understood that all the albums together form a unique and rich tapestry, a coherent whole that can be understood in its totality. Im not here to do that.

I came up with my own interpretation of what Mouth Dreams can be read as, independent from the other albums. Think of it as me presenting this entry as the soundtrack of a musical with its own self contained story. It is the interpretation that i chose to go by and i hope its understood the brilliance of these albums lies on how weird and vague and open ended they are such that any number of different readings can be extracted from them. So lets see the one i extracted, without further ado, lets begin.

Yahoo

It is an out of context, in media res, start for the whole story. We hear a voice, echoing in the void, yelling at the top of its lungs, reaching desperately for human conection. One form of looking at this song is that the voice only receives an empty response from its own echoes, but i dont take it like that. The song is too sublime and too beautiful for these, the notes soaring too high, the desperate plead is being answered. Someone is listening to the plead and answering right back, harmonizing.

This whole album is in a way that howl, reaching to others, and we the audience are answering back, listening. But also on another level, this whole album is the protagonist telling the tragic story of his own life to some sympathetic figure who wants to help, perhaps a therapist, perhaps a friend, perhaps a partner, we’ll see. And as the yelling subsides the story starts proper.

Mouth dreams (intro)

We are being slowly taken into the story, entering the psyche of the main character, entering their subconscious, their dreams, their memories and therefore, their past. We’ll see what life they led and how they ended up where they are now and we start right at his infancy with….

Spongerock

Spongebob is a great indicator that we are seeing this person’s early childhood. They seem to be a rambunctious and energetic child. Cheerful and enthusiastic, yet there seems to be some underlying aggression there. The music is a bit to strong, and in comes freddy mercury berating the poor kid “you’ve got mud on your face, you big disgrace”. Who is this entity being so hostile to a poor kid? What lies beneath that image of a happy kid? We are about to see on the next song.

Just a baby

This is where trouble starts. We are treated to a dramatic song about a poor young baby who seems to be having a pretty sad life. Justin bieber, former teen idol, keeps lamenting about the poor baby being stuck in baby jail. This song is very much about loss of innocence. A shadowy figure of the mother is introduced who tells the protagonist to be a good boy. And almost at the end of the song we get a suggestion of what’s so wrong on this poor kid’s life. His mother apparently “shot a man in reno”. We dont know if this is a literal thing the mother did or if this is a metaphor for the mother doing something horrible, commiting some crime, harming someone in some way. While its not clarified we see strong hints of what the mother could have done in the next song

Superkiller

As we worry what may be so wrong with this kid’s mother we come across the title for this song, ominous. Now in the original Psycho killer the killer was clearly the singer, but in here the song is twisted and turned a bit, recontextualized by the beats of “cant touch this”. It seems like this time is the singer the one who doesnt want to be touched by some nefarious figure (the mother? Is the mother a psycho killer?) maybe the kid saw the mother killing people “i dont like people when they’re on fire”. whatever the case might be the kid is clearly strung up and under a lot of stress and we are introduced to the first hint of the insomnia that will plague this persons life who cant sleep because “my bed’s on fire”. The horrible situation in which this kid is living is taking a severe toll on their mental health. How is he going to cope with this?

Get happy

I think everyone can agree that “come on get happy” is incredibly unnerving when mindlessly repeated over and over. A first read might suggest the kid is forced to put on a happy face, to pretend that there is nothing wrong going on with their life. But as the song progresses it could also be interpreted as the kid being tempted to find refuge from the horror by unsavory methods “get happy” as in acquire happiness of a forced and artificial kind, perhaps drugs. But also “we’ll make you happy”. The kid is not running into a rabbit hole on their own, they are being invited. Its possible that the kid is being seduced by a bad crowd to move into seedy circles as an escape from their life.

Ribs

In here we see the kid, probably a young teenager by this point as suggested by the use of marylin manson in this song, falling deep into debauchery. The specific kind is not needed to know, it could be drugs, it could be sexual experimentation, it could be criminality. Point is this is unhealthy and dangerous and depraved, emphasized by the title of the song “ribs” as a reference to the rumor that marilyn manson removed two of his ribs in order to perform autofellatio. Whatever the case it clearly works, the song is actually a great bop, energetic and upbeat, the kid is content with the situation, at least for a while…

My mouth

This song is the coming down from the high. In here we see at full blast how the life of depravity on the one side and their situation at home on the other have turned the character into a hardcore insomniac, their health is severy compromised “My eyes feel like they're gonna bleed

Dried up and bulging out my skull”. Another way to read this song is as we momentarily cutting back to the present. After all, what we have been seeing until now has been dreams/memories and this is a short look at the wreck that the person is as a grown up, stirring awake from their memories and trying desperately to forget or to go back to sleep where they can have a reprieve. As evidenced by the next song

Aerolong

I dont wanna miss a thing is completely turned on its head. As the lyrics clearly demonstrate is the protagonist who cant go to sleep being chased by their memories, specifically the memories of their mother “I don't miss you, babe, and I do want to miss a thing”. As the person is tossing and turning on their bed, unable to sleep they talk about how they dont miss their mother at all and they want to “miss” her as in they want to forget her.

Sleepin’

The character is constantly speaking about how they are “sleeping with their clothes on” this is due to them falling asleep during their everyday life because of their lack of sleep every night, this person is barely functional, their sleep schedule is broken. Also since this song is about the character actually sleeping it also works as a bridge back into their dreams and so into their past.

Aammoorree

Is another vignette about the character sinking into disreputable states in order to escape their shitty situation as a teenager, this time very specifically about being completely drunk and perhaps experiencing romance for the first time. The character is probably at a club or a party, drunkenly hitting on someone, though chances are without much success as the song becomes increasingly more incoherent and we go into a full black out. This gets bad enough that the person finally has to take a look and….

Where is my mom

….stop. It is highly suggestive that in the album the “stop” is part of this song rather than the last one. The person is not only stopping their current alcoholic binge. They are stopping the entire situation and taking a good look at their life, finally confronting face to face what is happening and why it is so wrong. Now “stacy’s mom” was always kind of an inappropriate song due to it being about a child having a crush on their friend’s mom, as sung by an adult. But as it is recontextualized by the instruments of “where is my mind” it takes on a much darker tone. The romantic words are still there but now with a sinister bent. This time the main character asks their friend if they can go and take refuge at their house and when they ask if the mom is going to be there they sound more scared than eager, specially suggested by the way he seems to be stammering the word “pool”, they are nervous and terrified. They also talk about stacy’s mom as “all they want and been waiting for so long”, probably because all they want is a normal, loving mother. Presumably this song is about the main character finally talking about what is going on at his house with a friend, confessing and that confession gives way to realization

Fredhammer

Then realization gives way to anger. During this whole song we see the teenage character finally grasping how fucked up the whole situation is and he gets progressively more worked up with each successive aggravation “Why did it take so long? Why (hoo!), did I wait so long, huh?

Why??? To figure it out, but I did it (huh?)”. From this we transition to the kid actually confronting their mom face to face. The line “So you can take that cookie And stick it up your (yeah!)” can be read as the mother trying to pretend there is nothing wrong or pacifying the kid with empty gestures of motherhood, by making cookies and the kid spitting that back into their face. The kid gets more and more worked up through the song as we seamlessly transition to the next one.

Limp Wicket

This song is pure incoherent chaos but something very important can be rescued out of the chaos. This song uses the lyrics from the “ewok celebration” which is presumably the song the ewoks sing in return of the jedi after the empire was defeated. So in a way is the kid celebrating that he finally confronted their mother and presumably defeated her. This is emphazised by the recurrence of the lyrics ““So you can take that cookie”. Is not specified how the mother is defeated, maybe social services or the police get involved, maybe the kid runs away, either way this song is triumphant. The evil entity that stole his childhood and innocence has been defeated.

Cannibals

This song is slightly different from the rest. It works as a form of victory lap after the defeat of the mother figure, but also as an intermission since it lies smack dab in the middle of the album, and finally as a transitionary song from childhood to adulthood. Is a time skip, we get to see the person grow up in fast forward as the THX song hits its crescendo. This song also makes it perfectly clear that, even though she was left behind, the mental scars that the mother left are still there and still fresh and still very much stopping them from sleeping “She drives me crazy

And I can't help myself”. 

The outsiders

This works as a way to recontextualize us in the life of the character as an adult. Our so called “feature presentation”. It is not altogether clear who these people being introduced are. They could be the people who came to mean something in this persons life as they grew up after trauma, probably multiple foster homes, social workers, friends, bosses, co workers, etc. the fact that they are being enumerated dissapasionatly could indicate how most of his social relationships were basically a meaningless blur for him who grew up socially distant due to trauma. It could also represent the multiple roles that our character was forced to take as they grew up and the multiple things that went through his mind or meant something. There is clearly some desperate attempts to recapture their lost childhood as figures such as “inspector gadget” or “the ninja turtles part three” are named. The song is a fast montage of views and places. That prepares us for the next song.

Johnny

We finally zoom in and take a good look at our main character as an adult. A sad, pathetic figure, hurt and lonely, possibly not very well liked and certainly not respected as we hear boos all around. Despite all this the character is clearly committing themselves to be a good person, to not hurt others like he was hurt and specifically to not commit the same crimes that their mother commited.

Closerflies & Nightmovin

These two songs might as well work as a single piece since they are both more or less about the same thing. We reiterate how this person has been turned into an insomniac due to the trauma that they experienced as a child “When I'm far too tired to fall asleep”. They are delirious and barely coherent, possibly hallucinating as they think about their life in bed. This is clearly hell on earth and it seems like its just never going to stop “Can't wake up in a sweat

'Cause it ain't over yet” but, with neil’s classic sense of humor, the song immediately ends.

Now that could just be for the sake of irony but there is also another level in which it could be read. This suffering stops because something suddenly changes in this person’s life. What could that be?

Whitehouse

“I fell in love with a girl”

As the lyrics say, the main character met someone special and they are deeply in love. But also, because of the past that weighs heavily on him, he is very trepidatious about wether to go on with the relationship or not. He knows he is damaged goods and he doesnt want to drag her down as well, these fears make it so he never fully opens up to her about his issues “She turns and says, "Are you alright?" I said, "I must be fine because my heart's still beating." 

Wah

The use of “war” by edwin starr is a clever reference about how everything is fair in love and war. Now this song is an important departure since it is sung from the point of view of the girl our main character fell in love with. She is a feisty woman who is very clearly trying to establish the terms of the relationship and demanding her partner to open up which the main character, due to his insecurities, takes as a declaration of war and which he deflects by playing dumb, hence the repeated use of the silly “WAH” by wario. 

Pee Wee Inc

The emotional distance from the man is putting a strain in the relationship, so what once was supposed to “feel good” is now this melancholic and unbearable situation. Is no mistake that the song sampled here is “the breakfast machine” from pee wee’s big adventure. After all  a neglected partner can feel like a breakfast machine, an object that is there just to make your breakfast. On top of this you can see that the insomnia hasnt gone away “My dreams, they got a kissing 'cause I don't get to sleep, no”. In a lot of ways the girlfriend is feeling used as just a relief from the man’s suffering but not as someone who is being truly loved.

1000 spoons

We go back to the woman’s perspective. At first it just seems like a simple melancholic situation where she is sad the relationship is not working, but then we see the woman have a full mental breakdown as the song changes and becomes much more deranged and we get to see what is really happening. The man ran away on their wedding day. This is represented by the lyrics “is like rain on your wedding day” because it means the wedding has been ruined. She is heartbroken by this.

Mouth dreams (extro)

Appropriately as the previous song talked about a wedding being ruined by “rain” this song begins with the sound of rain. This is the big emotional climax of the story, the music at its most dramatic. Now i will admit, even for me this is a stretch, im willing to concede most of what i am about to say is essentially built out of whole cloth and me wanting to fit a neat full narrative into this album where there is none, but hey, what is art for?

Essentially the man is about to commit suicide, possibly by jumping off a bridge in the rain as suggested by the song being sampled “drowning”. The fact that this song is named after the album is a way to signify how everything that we have just seen weighs heavily on the man’s heart, his whole life, his memories, his trauma, and he is finally ready to end it all. He jumps.

But at the last second his wife jumps after him and drags him to the shore, the last we see is her trying to perform mouth to mouth resuscitation, as indicated by the song,”love me mouth to mouth now…” he is unconscious and presumably finally sleeping peacefully (maybe dead?) “...cover me with dreams, yeah”.

It might look like he will not survive, as implied by the sinister version of all star encroaching over the song. But as it looks like all hope is lost he finally WAKES UP.

In a way this song is also when we finally catch up with the start of the album where we saw the man desperately hollering for human contact and merely echos responding, except now someone finally answered, and he is finally ready to open up and share his story.

Brithoven

Even though this song is sung by a single person i choose to take it as a dialog between the couple, both of them sharing their regrets about their relationship with each other, her recriminating the fact that she couldnt have known what he was going through “oh baby bay, how was i supposed to know, that something wasnt right here” and him finally admitting that he needs help “My loneliness is killing me”.

Finally they both agree to try it again and give their relationship a second chance “hit me baby one more time”

Ain’t

Part of me is conflicted about this song, i kind of want to disregard it, mainly because i think its kind of a weird way to end an album and also because i just dont feel is a very good mashup really. The lyrics dont mix that well with the song, they are paced in an inconsistent way and overall feel like they never truly click. On top of that it just doesnt fit at all with the narrative that i have been building during this analysis.

There is talk about alcoholism and parent abandoment, this time by the father, a figure that was never mentioned during the album. The last line says “say it aint so” which doesnt particularly seem to reflect on any of the themes i’ve been building upon. Ultimately i think i will just leave it besides and be content that i managed to fit almost all of the album into one story, this process was never meant to be a perfect dissection of the carefully planned story that neil deliberately crafted but rather me having fun seeing pictures in a rorshach test.

So anyway that was Mouth dreams, let me know what you thought.

[kdramachitchat]

The Devil Judge Ep 13 - To Kill Or Be Killed

The Hyungsan-dong Slums

Episode 13 of The Devil Judge begins with Yo-Han screaming to the heavens after K’s death. With Sun-A gleefully slips away after showing him Ga-On at the slums, he rings Soo-Hyun and asks for her help. Despite his best efforts, Yo-Han collapses on the ground breathing heavily due to his injury and passes out. Soo-Hyun eventually saves Ga-On too  from the horde of protestors at the slum. Then all of a sudden the SRF Foundation turn their attention to So-Yoon, injecting her and taking the girl away.

While on the way back, Soo-Hyun asked Ga-On why he was there, he said that he received a strange phonecall that his Professor was abducted and Soo-Hyun said that he’s still in the hospital. Ga-On was definitely tricked by Juk. Ga-On then asked her how’d she knew that he’s there, Soo-Hyun lied that she heard a message from the police radio (we already know that it was Yo-Han that called her).

Yo-Han’s team stopped arrived at his location and saved him from his bleeding. The lawyer informed him that the people who has been assisting him as been kidnapped. He was worried so he tracked Yo-Han’s located and found him. The first thing Yo-Han said after he got up was to tell his team to go find Han So-Yoon.

Looks like Yo-Han is slightly better and is able to drive, calls Elijah and yells to her why she wasn’t picking up the phone. He warns Elijah not to open the door for anybody else. Yo-Han was able to arrive home and he hears Elijah talking to someone else. Yo-Han then sees Ms. Jung at his home talking to Elijah. Elijah wants Ms. Jung to stay due their similarities. She continues to stare down at Yo-Han but Elijah warns Ms. Jung too not to cross the line.

Sense of Comfort

Elijah notices though she’s slightly weird and observed that Yo-Han was sweating, then she sees him covered in blood. Yo-Han then comforts Elijah and says that everything will be okay.

On the other hand, Soo-Hyun is wrapping up Ga-On’s wound. Soo-Hyun scolded Ga-On after he apologized saying that he shouldn’t continuously be hurt for her sake. Soo-Hyun doesnt want Ga-On to ruin his life and she’s all he needs. Shockingly Ga-On decides to kiss her?!!! Soo-Hyun gets freaked out and leaves. Honestly at this point i see Ga-On as someone who is a hypocrite and is not so sharp. He is by far my least favorite character.

Country in a frenzy

The whole country is turned upside down thanks to President Heo’s press conference. President Heo introduces a 10 pm curfew and has set up emergency rescue attempts as murder and they’ll be charged with maximum sentence.  

President Heo also made another press conference announcing that the live court show will be disbanded and will establish a emergency court instead. This new court will have the disruption of pandemic assistance or relocation, the spreading of slander & illegal gatherings and protests. Judge Oh will continue to be the aid of the SRF Foundation and will preside over the emergency court. I wonder what she will say about this. Other associate judges also will be selected from applicants with a strong sense of nationalism. Does that mean that Ga-On and Yo-Han will be out? Ga-On tells Soo-Hyun that they have to stop this madness, and yet she still feels conflicted about Yo-Han.

Yo-Han and Lawyer Ko talks through the phone that they need a plot. Someone on their team needs to be inside the main control room of the new court. Ga-On then enters Yo-Han’s office dragging Yo-Han’s non existent efforts. Another knock is heard and we don’t see who it is. Then Judge Oh enters, talking about being the head Judge while Ga-On calls it him & Yo-Han being sidekicks, Yo-Han surprisingly agrees to it and tells the PD to make sure things will look good & to consider his position.

Soo-Hyun then continues with her investigation

While Soo-Hyun continues to investigate, heading over to see a man called Jung-Joseph.

Judge Oh is being used

Ga-On knows this the virus a lie and approaches Judge Oh, who’s obviously the spokesperson for the SRF. You can see her doing speeches and alarming messages in-front of the huge televised screens on the streets. Ga-On continues to warns her yet she refuses to believe this is all fake as Ga-On eventually leaves in frustration and calls Yo-Han. Judge Oh decides on finding out the truth though and heads down to the slums herself. When she does, she sees the reality of the streets and finally seems to understand.

A flashback of Judge Oh entering Yo-Han’s office. She tells the 2 men to count her in and will do everything she can.  Yo-Han asks her if she means what she said.

Yohan questions the President

Yo-Han stops by the President’s office and asks Heo if there really is a virus and warns him to stop all this commotion, requesting him to cease it. Heo attacks him and says what if he won’t. Yo-Han threatened Heo that he will reveal the truth behind everything on the live court show, until the point where the public sets the Blue House on fire & drags the President out. President Heo knows that he got the people’s back, so whenever he tells the public who tells them that strangers are dangerous & urges to stay home via Yo-Han telling the public to go out and save strangers on the streets. President is confident that the public will choose him over Yo-Han, despite Yo-Han’s popularity he’s still the President. Those who created the President are the same people who created Yo-Han. Yo-Han tells  him though not to test his luck.

Live court show on the streets

The judges all work together. After what Judge Oh saw earlier on, she’s ready to work with them and take down the SRF. She’s so naive and finally she saw the light and starts working with the other judges! Im actually so happy about this. After they arrived on location, the PD is shocked with what’s happening on the streets. Judge Oh is determined that they need to show the world what’s happening for real. The judges decides to have a impromptu trial and enters the scene.

Yo-Han shows the truth of what’s really going on. The President calls Chairman Park who is the head of the station, yells at him to end the broadcast. To call Juk Chang and request his security to end Yo-Han.

Ga-On is even attacked too & captured on film. Soo-Hyun happens to see this and rushes to the scene. Choong-Sik is completely out of control, beating down a defenseless old man after seeing Judge Yo-Han being attacked. Yo-Han yelled to Choong-Sik after anger and Choong-Sik sarcastically tells him to come down. The President is angered and tells whoever he’s speaking to to shut down all the electricity in the country to hide the broadcast. The app is still up though. At the slums, there’s still fire and phone lights. I believe it’s a metaphor saying that the darkness can never beat the light in times of violence.

And just like that, floodlights shine down the slums to reveal the people in unity. Yo-Han being all Dumbledore tells the oppress that the darkness can’t beat the light. The people starts attacking, which creates a emotional scene leading to the ending of the episode. This moment reminded me of a Harry Potter moment for a bit.

At the end of the episode, when Soo-Hyun shows up she’s shot dead. Ga-On is shocked especially after professing her love to Ga-On until her last breath, she collapses on the ground and passes away. Even during this moment, she still cares for Ga-On as he was hurt. Ga-On screams in agony. WTF. One of the most likeable characters on the show is shot dead. OK, i am honestly so mad.

[robinisaghost]

animatic ideas :0 (ramble away, i would love to hear them!!)

mk thank you for enabling me, i will now be yelling

anyway

this is gonna be so obnoxiously long i am so sorry

can you add read more's on asks? eeeekkkk because this got so damn long lmao

mild dsmp spoilers obviously

this is the playlist, by the way

-im sorry boris (wilbur soot)

i think it would work really well with mmm slightly post lmanburg niki. andby slightly i mean. well when she leaves (that is the whole thing of the song gdfjkhgsdf) also side note at like 1 minute 11 on that song theres a discord notification really subtly in the background and it makes me paranoid every time i hear it. anyway god its such a nice song. even for just like. the end of lmanburg. not necesarily paired with a character, just the sense of leaving a place that was so highly populated before it got blown up twice and was like. the main part of the smp. yeah. anyway also the lines "they'll knock down the pubs before helping you...they'll let you jump under trains before helping you" yeah those four lines have big niki vibes but also i think the song could work well with exile tommy or actually even with the finale when tubbo is about to sacrifice himself? mmmmm yeah

-this is home (cavetown)

mmmm got exile tommy vibes innit. a lot of these have exile tommy vibes tbf i just like sad songs and also exile tommy. plus the song has a lot of like. the message is sort of like. changing yourself to appeal to others? like with "ill cut my hair to make you stare" but also the repeated thing of "ill figure out a way to get us out of here" which is clearly the main character of the song trying to help everyone when they are clearly not in a good way themself. yeah thats got big tommy vibes in general tbh but more like. pre finale tommy. i think he got a bit more independant after that.

-soldier poet king (the oh hellos)

ok this is self explanatory and has been done to death already but d a m n its kinda funky. anyway i had thoughts and actually started this but then lost motivation and deleted it all lmaooo. the only proof of its existance is a shitty storyboard in my draw which will hopefully never see the light of day again (unless anyone wants to see it :eyes:) anyway i had the thought of like. sbi? so soldier techno poet wilbur and king tommy. but tbf tommy and techno are kinda interchangeable with that, cos while techno is obviously the better fighter, tommy is used a lot, especially in lmanberg era and also i think he probably will be now that wilburs back

-pyjama pants (cavetown)

ok so i honestly dont remember why this is on the playlist but tbf this could go well with a bunch of characters. thinking like. phil and wilbur? or wil and tommy, or tubbo and ranboo are two that like. i know for a fact that i did not put the song on the playlist specifically for them but god thinking about it now it works so well with them

-boys will be bugs (cavetown)

OH BOY THERES A LOT OF CAVETOWN ON HERE HUH (i feel like that probably says something about me but shhhhhh we dont need to talk about that) ANYWAY

I think this could probably work really well with tommy? because of the whole like. trying really hard to come across as not caring about others, but really being like. very vunerable. but at the same time it could go really well with wilbur for the same reasons. also the song fucks ok cant deny it. to be fair i think it works better with tommy, because he's younger and also he really likes bugs (unless i am mistaken) which is just a cool coincidence but still)

-brother (kodaline)

FUCKKKKKKKKKKK THIS WORKS SO WELL WITH SO MANY CHARACTERS AND IS ALSO ***SO ANGSTY*** WHAT

anyway

i added it because of tommy and tubbo because holy shit, but also it could work very very well with wilbur and tommy, techno and wilbur, probably techno and tommy, and oh my god i just thought of this but this would work so well with phil and techno!!!! but yeah i originally thought tommy and tubbo because i thought it was a funny coincidence with exile tommy waking up underwater, and theres a line that says "if you were drowned at sea, id give you my lungs so you could breathe" and like. just thinking about the compasses especially. me gusta.

-feel better (penelope scott)

fundy. that is all.

no ok this works well with fundy but also probably karl sapnap and quackity, and also very much wilbur, like it works well with both. just mainly fundy idk why its got big fundy vibes tho. very poggers.

-as the world caves in (matt maltese)

ok but like this goes very very well with the explosions of lamberg. either of them. i think probably the first one is better, but i think it goes well with both. probably the first one, because it was way more emotional i think? cos it was the first time that their homes had been destroyed and everything, but also because it was so personal, because wilbur was the one who did it. i think that also it would work well if it was set during the explosion but also focussed on different facets? so like. one bit about wilburs perspective, one bit about tommys, one about phils, one about fundys maybe? idk just a bunch of lmaburg citizens' povs for this. its good. as the world caves in is a song that can be so gender tbh.

-do you hear the people sing? (les mis)

obvious obvious obvious...... but like..... also tbh it goes well with a bunch of things. like, mmmmm wilbur in pogtopia. the butcher army. lmaburg independance war (obviously ghdskj) but yeah. also this song just goes so hard like b r u h

-wolf in sheeps clothing (set it off, william beckett)

SO MANY OF THESE ARE LIKE. PRETTY OBVIOUS IF YOUVE HEARD THE SONG

but yeah. it would go so well with like. well any betrayal basically. so eret, from tommys pov maybe, or about wilbur from nikis pov, or wilbur from anyone pov tbf, or quackity from charlie/purpled/foolish/sams pov, or sam from tommys pov, really it works well with so many people which says a lot about the characters tbh but shhhhhhhhhhhh

-need you here (idkhow)

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

mk mk mk mk FUNDY AND WILBUR THO

like b r u h that works so well with them

also i started this one as well but didnt like it, theres a story board in my draw as well for it because like. oh my god its such a good idea i just am shit at animating and don't have a decent enough program :')

also also

the line "daddy has to go, and that makes me sad, but daddy will always come back, he promised" fuckkkkkk that works so well with like. say for example, idk, when they're celebrating schlatts death and wilbur leaves to press the button? the sheer fucking angst of that is enough to kill any one person istg that is in fact the entire reason why i started the animatic in the first place. just that line. also all the lines sung by the child voice. fuckin angsty as hell. also ust generally a banging song, as is every idkhow song

-green (cavetown)

another cavetown song huh. ok sure.

mk so wilbur and sally and fundy. like. for a start, the imagry of a fish at the start? boom sally.

anyway the lines "you looked so good in green, i hope you're well, and you look so good with him, (schlatt ig?) and I'm proud of you still (wilburrrr and fundyyyy) i miss your perfect teeth, i was too blunt, i hope you feel happy, that's all I want"

FUCKKKK

the whole song is about missing someone you used to love and only hoping the best for them!!!! and wishing that they are happy and safe!!!!!!!!!!! and hoping they still think about you!!!!! but even if they dont its fine because all you want is for them to be happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-achilles come down (gang of youths)

OK I THOUGHT IT COULDNT GET ANGSTIER

so like. tw suicide but thats what the entire song is about and bing bang boom i just think it works so so so so so so so well with not only exile tommy (who obviously did try to kill himself) but also wilbur in a slightly more metaphorical way? so like. his self destructive habits leading him to a point where he had no choice other than to kill himself and to take his country down with him. and its all about other characters trying to help them and persuade them not to but also near the end there is a second voice trying to persuade them to go along with it, which im thinking like. if its wilbur, either dream or maybe just himself. his own brain persuading him to continue down the path that would inevitably lead to his and his countries destruction. also it works well with schlatt for the same reasons, except he doesnt want to die. maybe (since the song is so goddamn long) like. one verse for tommy one for wilbur and one for schlatt? dead gang poggg but also like. the verses cover fairly different things which work with one character but not so much the others, for example the first verse would be tommy because its mainly about persuading the person to not kill themself (which tommy did himself but shhh) the second for schlatt because its literally about drinking and smoking away your problems, and the third for wilbur since its more of a fight between the "good" and the "bad" sides, which is obviously what wilbur was experiencing. also obviously i have a soft spot for this song because its string instruments and french, basically my favourite combination ever (also i like his voice idfk lmao)

ANYWAY THATS ALL THE SONGS ON THERE SO FAR

i literally thought of another song while i was in the shower today but i dont remember which it was but a n y w a y the playlist will most definitely be getting longer, especially since there are so many more songs that are good for this but i just havent added them yet lmao. anyway ive been writing this for like an hour gsdfjhgdhfsg but still oh my god this was fun to write

[awellboiledicicle]

Tma/Raft au. Not even "the extinction won so there they are" bc like. Tma but in raft universe.

Forward scouts are supposed to gather the stories of the world and share them later, maybe. Your whole thing lore wise is collecting info and trying to find the fabled end point of humanity's journey after the mega rich fucked over the planet.

So basically I keep thinking the institute is basically a flotilla that Elias made bc his general family wasnt rich enough for a bubble city but were rich enough to be pissed about it. It's got a farm and water purifiers etc. Very self sufficient. But the main thing is Elias has a library. Books, notes, rubbings of grave etchings, magazines. If it conveys something he wants it. He employs scouts to go out and map things on the off chance he can claim a stable landmass. The library part was his family's, the rest was a lot of diplomacy.

Tim came to the flotilla after crashing into the side of it. There was a storm and he was more focused on trying to see where Danny went in the choppy water than keeping the raft righted. Was hired mostly because of his muscles, though his ability to put a story together made him invaluable for stitching together old newspapers. Signs on to be a forward scout because he befriended Jon in records and he cant imagine Sims not being eaten by seagulls.

Jon was born in the outskirts of the flotilla and grew up with his grandmother while his parents fished to keep the family on the community. They were lost to a shark attack when he was small. Often snuck into the library and ended up being scolded a lot for it. Either for touching things to read them or just going into sections he shouldn't out of curiosity. Got a job there entirely bc Elias decided that either Jon was too like him to be safely kept around, or at the very least he could learn how to not ruin things. Got a kitten from Georgie after she came back from a scouting trip. Its name is Commodore. By the time he met Tim, Commodore is like half Jon's size. Partially bc large cat and small Jon. Opted to be a scout entirely because he'd read everything that wasnt shopping lists and he maybe kind of also doesnt want to stay after his grandmother passed. So elias sent him off with a vague "go south" and gave them enough supply not to die immediately when he took the family raft out. His arch nemesis is a seagull. It keeps going after his potatoes and he would like a single day of peace.

Sasha was originally from a town that fell apart after infighting over farmland. She basically fucked off in a random direction with whatever wasnt strapped down and has been hunting down and mapping radio signals since. She likewise collects books, but more books than magazines etc. Some newspapers. Ran across Martin trying to get a radio working while parked by an old oil rig. Promptly scared him half to death. They became friends over Martin offering milk from one of the goats he'd managed to grab. Shes largely why their combined raft has such an efficient net system.

Martin was born on his raft in the middle of nowhere. He grew up on it. Heared from his mom as she got sicker how he was probably going to abandon her too. Cobbled together additions for the raft, caught animals, and did his best to farm. His book collection is whatever he could get to entertain his mother and a collection of tattered poetry books. Traded with the flotilla a few times. Books for food, eggs for metal and seeds. Mostly alone with his mother though. Befriending Sasha was amazing luck because honestly he was sure if his mothers health nosedived worse and they didnt have something to at least try an sos, he'd never have forgiven himself. It also helped having someone to talk to.

I think the two groups would end up meeting at some small radio tower that's mostly rust and good fortune. Not even a good signal either, just an outdated message about not drinking salt water. Tim and Martin are the only reason they group together. Mostly bc Jon is Very Invested in acting like the archivist of the sunken world instead of a sweaty dude on a raft yelling at seagulls.

Is this just bc I can then imagine Martin and Tim killing a shark that's trying to eat Jon bc he got distracted diving for scrap bc he was Determined to do it himself? Yes. Have I decided Gerry is just vibing somewhere with chickens? Also yes.

Have I already imagined Jon and Martin bonding after being separated from the others via giant rats? And repairing a generator together, then realizing they're v v close together when the light comes on? Yes to both.

Also Jon learned how to shred and weave plastic into string so he can have his red string board but now ita about how it's totally the same seagull every time instead of different ones. The evidence is all drawings of seagulls hes done.

[budugaapologist]

when you are reading this rant take full offense its 2am here and im mad as hell

fair warning this post is long as fuck and has several arguments pertaining to specific peeves i need to rant about before i go crazy. if you're not interested just keep scrolling it's not hard it's literally the core of social media navigation

you know what? ima say it.

black flag is the best ac game and deserves more recognition than just pirate drinking jokes because:

nearly every named character (sorry burgess and cockram) has development and personalities. cant say that for that many others in other games.

not too much fucking shit to do in it (unlike uhhhhhhhh every fucking other game in the franchise. stop it. i dont need 500 treasure chests in arno's game he already has an excellent revenue with the cafe. i dont need a ton of side quests. i dont need 30+ chests per london burough. i dont need a million question marks on my map. i dont need all of egypt or greece to be littered with shit to do. fuck this.).

unlocking shit is so much easier. edward knows where every treasure chest is and doesnt pay for treasure maps. and literally unlocking shit is so much easier.

base is slept on. its fucking cool. its fucking fun. its fucking useful as shit. its fucking pretty as all hell. fuck you.

good story, fun story, great dlc, relatable story (unless youre some bootlicking cowardly rich cunt) emotional story but not depressing (unity im looking at your ending. origins stop killing children.), satisfying end.

i can do the combat with one hand. you know what that means? i can eat and drink without pausing. i can reply to text messages without pausing. i can pet my dogs and cats while playing.

main character actually has changed by the end of the game a vast amount. motherfucker, edward changed more in his antó mission than ezio did in his trilogy.

if you dont complete all objectives you still have a passing score on the mission. do you know what its like to be raised to only get good grades on stuff and see yourself getting a 60% on a thing thats supposed to be a pass time just because you forgot something.

the naval combat isnt hard you just need practice. also i know the hunter ship sucks in the first mission you encounter but literally drop your sails but hold the wheel. once its in view let go. swim to it. take out the crew. swim back. bada bing bada boom go oneshot the crew. incredible, you're safe now.

legendary ship battles are really fucking cool and my mom doesnt yell at me for killing a giant beast for next to nothing.

the sea shanties and tavern songs slap.

farm animal petting simulator. not forced to kill dogs (ac3, odyssey).

obviously its good if the other games are just gonna copy paste it.

ed's tattoos are sick.

edward is literally the first canon bisexual. he literally says so in game. he literally fucking flirts with blackbeard. he literally was a pirate. why the fuck do you think birate is such an accurate pun.

diving outfit.

thicc.

the female characters dont have titties all over the place. even anne's boobs arent that big, which is good considering she is underage. the same cannot be said for many of the women in ezio's games.

guess who has a solid, interesting, and realistic personality. not kassandra or alexios thats for sure.

he is NOT moved by man pain (ezio, connor, bayek) to carry out his missions. he didn't want to be poor, he wanted to be able to provide for his family. he is just carrying out his dream to sail a ship. when he starts being "good", he is doing it out of guilt and shame on his past self (what, self reflection? someone, teach jacob this term), not because "wahh my girlfriend/mom/child/family died :'(", he wanted to make it up to his lost friends by making them proud and doing what they wished he had done. his regrets are in not being a better friend while mary was alive, not seeking out her killers (guards at fort). thatch's death crushed him, but he didn't thrust his anger on seeking revenge. and the characters that did die? they had personalities and development and were interesting and memorable. i cant tell you shit about cristina.

he is very respecting of women, especially for a white guy from the 1600s. he, as a teenager (under 17 i believe), attempted to save a woman he did not know and had no intentions of wooing (hey um ezio? you literally only were able to save cristina from being raped because you stalked her because you thought she was attractive. like thanks for saving her but uhh am i the only one that finds that creepy?) even though the odds of winning against three older men were stacked against him and he knew they could (and almost did) beat him to death. fuck if caroline wasnt there he would've been killed.

the modern day stuff is an excellent way to separate intense scenes and the little mini hacking games are fun puzzles. oh boohoo desmond isn't there? yes he was, half the things you hack literally give you desmond content.

rebecca's outfit fucking slaps.

from experience, its fun to play even if you dont know shit about the other ac games. pirates are cool and the story is easy to follow, just be prepared to find some of the other endings big letdowns or lots of the other games' missions boring.

is that fanservice that goes both ways but doesnt oversexualize any gender? why yes, it is!

stop reducing black flag to alcoholism jokes like yall constantly fucking do, it has so many other talking points and if you wanna make fun of something maybe choose something that isnt addiction. literally i make fun of edward constantly without pointing out his alcoholism it isnt that hard. if you're gonna make fun of edward for drinking rum when water in the 1700s often wasnt safe and making fun of him when he was depressed (he has multiple other intended self harming behaviors shown in game so no, he wasnt just drinking because its fun), why don't i see the same "wHy is aLL tHe WiNE gONe?" posts for arno? he was an alcoholic too. in fact arno and edward have a lot of the same forms of depression but oh, arno's a more serious character personality wise and isn't a pirate so his grieving isn't as funny.

and like, there are plenty of other things to make fun of with edward that might not make light of alcoholism because no, edward's drinking in the main story was not written to be a joke. here, a list of things i regularly make fun of him for:

this highwaisted man's got feminine hips

there is no reason for him to be that thicc

his bangs are a mess

his hair???? glows???? okay rapunzel.

his tatts that are just lines

actually you know what his tatts in general what do they mean ubisoft what even language are the words on his body in

how this whore opens the bottled messages on the beach. "ah yes, let me put this mysterious item in my mouth. i have no idea where its been. i could very well open it to read a note that says "i pissed on this""

"woman i just met... must respect her.. man i just met... im either going to give you a death threat, tease you, or flirt... sometimes multiple choices will be done......"

i mean he had the full right to be a bastard to walpole on the beach since he did try to be friendly but walpole was being to bitchy and needy. and like them being stranded wasnt edward's fault but walpole was still gonna make him build a ship and there is no reason for edward to trust walpole since after they get to havana he can easily just be like "thats a pirate, hang him." but like. the way he just immediately decides to steal his identity. legend.

why does he just blindly follow older men's orders like that

he trims his beard to a very odd location. i know it isn't a flattering pose but like. look at the underside of his jaw.

"how many references to dog behavior can we put in one character"

phobia of sleeping in a bed

"you saved my life i am eternally grateful."

edward are you seriously arguing with your eight year old daughter about the difference between a boat and a ship

where are your tanlines

how did he not die of skin cancer first

edward probably doesnt have any body hair because ubisoft didnt want his legs to glow in the dark too

look at his marooned outfit. bitch what the fuck is on your shirt. and where are your hair ties.

his dramatic beauty guru smokey eyes

he held that sword by the blade in the single madman quest. wh

anyway, the long run of this is, if you're gonna reblog an edward post from me specifically to make fun of an overused joke, go fuck yourself.

[swiss-cheeze]

Stalker on a High || Colson Baker

Request from @kellysimagines - Can you make a mgk one where the reader is also a well known actress and they are on The Dirt together but before that the reader begins to get stalked by a fan and she doesnt tell closon and one time she gets messages through DM and when they are on the set of The Dirt he is really worried about her but she tells him nothing is wrong and at home she is quiet and stuff and he decides to take her out with the cast of The Dirt to a club and she is having fun and she sees the stalker there and he comes to her and tries stuff and colson sees everything and asks who he is andI tell him everything about the stalking thing and he fights with him and later on the media I post a video about what happened and in the end its all good between the two of us

A/N: BRO I AM SO FUCKING SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I TRULEY AM, this request was great but I lost my shit half way through and I was stuffed with homework and the end of school and the new term and shit.

I wobbled around the request just a tad bit but I hope I got everything the way you wanted!!

Warnings: uh, normal swearing I guess and just; weed? It’s colson y’all should know this shit by now.

———

Unknown_489: You look so pretty from here

Unknown_489: Why not choose the red dress? Looks better on you

Unknown_489: I’m I love with you! Why can’t you see!

-------------------------------------------------------------

“Babe!” Colson yelled as he slammed his hands down on your shoulders causing you to jump and almost lose grip of your phone.

“COLSON OH MY GOD” you yelled as you shut your phone off quickly and turn around with your hand over your chest, hoping to hold down the heart that's about to jump out of your chest, you smiled, “are we up?” you asked. Colson nodded.

“You get to yell at me and i get to punch a window” the rapper said with a grin as he grabbed your hand and started walking to the set you need to be in and set yourselves up in first position.

“AANNDD action!” the director yelled, you started walking. You pushed open the glass door as you saw Colson bobbing his head up and down with his headphones on as you slammed the fake magazine cover in his hands. Colsons hands flew up to his headphones and pulled them off.

“Babe! What the fuck!” he asked as he picked up the magazine.

“Have fun with your porno slut! You absolute asshole!” you said harshly as you walked away and out of view of the cameras. You heard Colson talk to himself before the breaking of glass, a yell and then the director.

“CUT. perfect! Reset!” the director said as people started coming in with new glass and resetting the headphones. You stood back in first position; you had no time to ask Colson if he was okay or not so you just had to redo the scene again, walk in, slam, talk, walk out, yell, glass. “CUT. perfect! Next scene!” you over to Colson and grabbed his hand.

“You okay? No cuts?” you asked quickly as you tried to move yourself and Colson out of the way of the prop setters. You heard Colson chuckle softly as you two sat down on a pair of chairs.

“I’m good babe, nothing as bad as what I’ve had before” Colson said softly as you kissed his knuckles (the boy giving a soft smile when you do so) and looking up at the rapper.

“Did you message me earlier? About a red dress?” you asked as someone came over with a bottle of water and nachos for you and Colson to share.

“What? No why?” Colson asked as you both started munching on the nachos, “is everything okay?” the rapper asked.

“Yeah yeah” you said quickly, “just....” you paused, should you tell him? “Nothing, it's just me” you said with a laugh hoping Colson will drop the subject.

“What? No babe whats wrong?” the rapper asked concerned, “is something happening?” you sighed softly as you chewed the food.

“Nothing Colson i promise” you said with a smile, you held the boys hand as he looked at you sadly.

“You can always talk to me you know that” Colson said softly as he took ahold of your hand and squeezed it softly. You smiled.

“I know. I always do. I promise” you said as you looked to the rapper and smiled softly.

Ding!

Your phone went off again as Colson got called back onto set, the rapper stood up and kissed you softly for reassurance before walking away for another scene; Nikki and Tommy getting the band back together. You looked down at your phone again, it was a photo from the unknown account. You hesitated to open it but your thumb betrayed you. A semi good looking man, around 23-32 had taken a selfie outside your house, his smile was almost joking and sadistic as the caption said ‘honey! Im home’. You quickly got out of the photo and close your eyes for a second but the feeling of your phone vibrating in your hands caused you to open them again. This time it was a video.

“Hey babe!” the man said in the video, “im cooking you dinner” he said with a sadistic grin, the man turned the phone to show your stove with a pan over it, your steak bits cooking in it. Your stomach dropped as the video ended and tears welled up in your eyes, you had been saving those bits for a romantic dinner with Colson later this evening when you two got off set for your 4 year anniversary. Now that was never going to happen.

------------------------------------------------

(Y/n)Baker_offical: you better get the fuck out of my house right now. That food was meant for someone that isn't and will never be you! Get out before i call the police

(Y/n)Baker_offical: im coming home in less than 10 minutes and if you’re still there im going to call the police.

-------------------------------------------------

You sent the messages before blocking the account and turning off your phone as Colson started walking towards you.

“We’re finished for today babe” Colson said, he was already in his normal clothes and didn’t have the wig on but you could tell he still had all of the foundation on his body as his arms were bare with tattoos that weren’t his, “im gonna clean up when we get back home,” the rapper said as he and you walked out of the building and to your car, you only hoped the maniac at your house had left already. Revving the engine and pulling out into the busy main road you made your way back to the house you two were renting.

“K-Kells” you said softly as you twisted the steering wheel to the left, “I um, i think we should go out for the night” you said softly, Colson cocked an eyebrow.

“Really? You don't like going out that much though” the rapper pointed out.

“Yeah I know” you shrugged, “just thought it’d be nice. Maybe we could invite Daniel and Douglas and the others” you said quickly as you pulled up into the driveway. Colson nodded.

“If you’re okay with it babe i am too” the rapper said with a grin as he hopped out of the car with you behind him. Colson flung open the door while looking down at his phone no doubt texting the group about going clubbing in a few hours and made his way to the shower. You took this time to quickly jump to the kitchen and clean up the mess your stalker had made but upon walking in; the place was spotless, no pan, no steak. Checking the stove you made sure the knobs had been turned off, you checked the bin that was spotless, the sink had no pan or new water in it, everything was fick as a fiddle as you left it earlier in the day; this creeped you out even more as you quickly dashed up to your room to get changed. Windows down and no holes in the roof you changed into the red dress before making your way into the bathroom where Colson had been showering, his rough voice came out as he tried singing Kickstart My Heart.

“When we started this band, all we needed, needed was a laugh, years gone by, I'd say we've kicked some ass” Colson sung before trailing off. You smiled at the sound of your boyfriend's voice as you put on some light makeup, hoping that the person tormenting you all day had finally left the house, and you, alone.

-----------------

The club lights hit every inch of your body as the smell of sweat, alcohol and drugs wafted through the air as the bodies around you twirled and grinded against the other. You grinned widely as Colson danced alongside you; letting you grind against him, rubbing your front back and every side against every other side of Colson. You could see Douglas and Daniel having their own fun with a few blondes and brunettes, Iwan had seated himself in a booth and was talking to a cute ginger who was giggling along with his words. The cloud of people soon realised a slow song had wafted its way into the air and found their partner or dragged someone from the side to have a slow dance; Colsons arms wrapped around your waist as yours went around his neck and your head rest against the side of his shoulder.

“I love you my darling girl” Colson whispered softly into your ear as you two swayed in a circle. A smile spread across your face in an instant as you moved your head and rest your chin on Colsons shoulder; you were about to respond when something - or someone - caught your eye. Your breath hitched as you noticed the man's facial features and you stood still for a moment as the man grinned behind his glass and winked. Colsons voice brought you out of it, “babe?” the rapper asked as he looked at you concerned. You tore your eyes away from the man you knew for less than five seconds in a digital video and looked to Colson; your eyes filled with tears as you looked to the concerned rapper. Your mouth gaped like a fish out of water, “(Y/n), seriously what's wrong?” Colson asked as he grabbed your upper arm softly and the other went to your jaw.

“T-there's a man” you whispered softly as your eyes darted around Colsons chest, the rappers eyes shot into his hairline, you realised your sentence and quickly backtracked, “NO NO!” you said loudly with your hands waving in the air, “not like that! I-I got some creepy messages earlier today while filming a-and he said I looked pretty in the red dress a-and then he sent a video o-of himself cooking with the meat i was going to surprise you with for tonight but instead i didn't know what to do-o” by now you where hyperventilating and tears swept their way down your cheeks.

“Hold on babe, hold on” Colson grabbed your elbows softly and guided you through the crowd to an open booth. The rapper sat you down and wiped away your tears as you looked to him, “breath baby girl its okay” Colson said softly, you nodded softly calmed your breathing with the help of Colson and his breathing techniques for moments like these. A few moments had passed and you sniffled as you took one final breath and looked to your boyfriend.

“I’ve been getting some gross messages from this unknown sender over instagram and just today he had said I looked good in the ‘red dress’,” you said with quotes as you pointed to the same red dress you where wearing, “then sent a photo outside our house with the caption ‘hey honey, im home’ and then sent a video cooking the steak bits i had in the fridge, they were meant to be a surprise for our anniversary tonight but obviously he started cooking them already.” you took a breath as you looked to Colson who was intensely listening, “when we got home, I went to the kitchen to clean up the mess he had made but the kitchen looked as clean as when we had left it this morning” you sniffed, “and now he's here in the bar right now staring down the both of us and by the look of it undressing me as we speak” Colson nodded as he looked around the bar connected eyes with the man; you immediately knew what was going to happen, “no Colson don't-” but he was already up and walking towards the man. You sat for a moment and watched the whole thing pan out, Colson went for an immediate offense and started pushing and yelling at the man, who pushed and yelled back. You stood quickly and started to walk over as did Douglas, Daniel and Iwan; the crowd parted as you saw Colson and the man fell to the floor in fists of rage.

“AYE COLSON” you heard Douglas yell, the music had stopped and some people had started yelling ‘fight’. Fists got thrown, shouts, kicks and more. Daniel and Iwan got ahold of Colson and pulled the rapper from the stalker as Daniel made sure the stalker took his steps back when he stood up, the man had tried to get past Daniel but the actor stood against the man as a rock as the man tried going back for Colson as Daniel and Iwan brought Colson away with you in tow. You could breifly hear Douglas’s harsh voice saying ‘dont even fucking try’ to the man before the actor followed behind you as Colson was led out the bar doors and into the side alley. Colson slumped against the brick wall as Daniel and Iwan took a few deep breaths to calm themselves after carrying a fist-throwing-six-foot-tall rapper as you and Douglas walked towards the three.

“Well that was a wild ride” Douglas commented as he slumped against brick wall next to Colson.

“Yeah well, you gotta expect me to throw fucking fists when i find out someones been stalking my girl for the past month” Colson muttered as he brought out a joint and quickly lit it, sucking in a breath before blowing out the cloud of smoke and closing his eyes; taking in the moment before standing up, Daniel and Iwan moved out of the rappers way as you stood behind the pair and let Colson wrap his arms arond you tightly. “Baby girl if anything like that happens again you tell me immediately” Colson said to you as he kissed your head, you nodded in confirmation, “no baby, say it back to me,” the rapper said as he held your head in his hands.

“I promise next time something like this happens i'll tell you immediately” you said softly, Colson nodded as he sniffled softly and bent down and kissed you, his lips felt soft against yours as he held you almost like a porcelain doll.

“Oi Colson” you heard Iwan call, Colson slowly pulled away from you and turned around, his arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you closer to the group. Douglas and Iwan had crowded around Daniels phone as the australian turned his phone and put the sound up louder as you and Colson stood next to the others. A video from twitter had just gotten put out two minutes ago and it was of Colson and the man fighting; the video continued following you and Douglas out of the bar before cutting off with a shot of the dance floor. You heard a scoff from Iwan and Douglas as Daniel kept silent.

“Ya’ll fuck this” Colson said, “as he took another puff of his joint and blew the smoke to the sky, the rapper wrapped his arm around your waist before pulling into Douglas on his other hand over the actors shoulders, “this is turning into a five-some, party at my house with no distractions and just us and fucking drinks” the rapper said, “and loud ass fucking music” Colson said as he started walking, Iwan and Daniel grinned as they wrapped their arms around each other and followed behind Colson, you and Douglas as Colson looked to you, “and you,” he said, “i am getting a dance from you no matter what the fuck you say” the rapper said as he took another puff. You laughed.

“I wouldn’t say no any other way” you said with a grin. Colson grinned widely as the five of you walked back to Colsons apartment for filming; a joy of a night ahead of you with no distractions.

[mrbingley]

Dnd Circus Campaign session two recap:

spotty the rainbow dalmation blink dog from the circus follows theren (the circus runaway) home b/c the animal caretaker is dead and spotty only feels safe with theren. spotty has theren follow him back to seesaw the fortune teller’s tent where seesaw tenderly cups his face before giving him the fortune “what you seek is also seeking you. to find your answers, first find the anarchist and the living trophy”. he goes home with spotty and successfully lies to his gnome parents that this is not the same dog from the circus even though it looks pretty identical.

the next day:

theren spends the morning with his family and spotty. his mom and dad tell him theyre going to go to work soon building the new coal factory. he plays with spotty in the backyard after they leave.

the mayor is meeting with Thorne the ringmaster again later today before the next circus performance to discuss the future of the circus in humdrum heights. he has a meeting with coal benefactors after the circus and he wants tallulah the trophy wife to be there with him.

tallulah the trophy wife wakes up early and goes to starbucks where sinclar the anarchist works. a funny passive aggressive interaction b/w the two ensues. sinclair has a history of intentionally getting tallulah’s order wrong. tallulah brings in her own metal starbucks cup b/c sinclair kept intentionally giving her a size smaller than she asked for. tallulah briefly sarcastically thanks sinclair for literally leaving her hanging last night (when tallulah got caught in the ringmaster’s snare and was hanging upside down and sinclair didn’t help).

tallulah goes to get another fortune from seesaw even though seesaw told her she only gets one. seesaw tells her “remember:” and taps her nose four times and her right cheek once.

theren the circus runaway tentatively walks the outskirts of the circus grounds to investigate further (by this point he is silently certain this is the circus he grew up in). he finds a copper dragon in a circus carriage cage that wasnt apart of raffles the beast tamer’s act. it’s friendly and looks like it hasnt been let out for awhile. theren goes to the local bar and buys two steaks and gives that to the copper dragon.

the circus performs again. there is a crowd of kids wearing clown noses to this performance who sit in the front. theyve been wearing the clown noses all day. the performance is relatively the same. except for two differences: the blink dog doesn’t appear in raffles the beast tamer’s act. and la capony the king of clowns asks the mayor to join him in his act. the mayor was sitting with his wife tallulah and has been wearing a clown nose since earlier in the day when he met with thorne. he isn’t apprehensive about volunteering like he was last night and he joins la capony. la capony does some stuff and then makes the mayor disappear. the mayor does not reappear and the performance ends.

tallulah is immediately suspicious and worried and messages him. he responds “i don’t know where i am! tallulah, honey, i don’t know where i am!” tallulah searches all around for him but the player kept rolling comically low investigation rolls so she wasn’t able to find anything.

tallulah realizes she and her husband are late for the coal meeting and she calls the inept bro-y receptionist to try to tell him to tell them theyre going to be late and to call her if they leave.

finally, sinclair reluctantly tries to help but tallulah asks her why she’s here and sinclair says she’s here to help. sinclair helps investigate and she rolls well enough to lead them to the old train tunnel. she waits outside the tunnel and warns tallulah not to go in b/c people have died in there, it’s a dangerous tunnel. tallulah says she’s going to go in b/c her husband’s in there.

sinclair takes one step in and the stones curving along the entrance of the tunnel start to glow a firey orange with old magical runes. she steps backwards and doesnt go in. tallulah sees this and asks why that didn’t happen when she stepped in and sinclar says i don’t know why.

tallulah runs into the old train tunnel and finds la capony standing over the mayor who has been tied to the train tracks. la capony is yelling at him asking him what he did with his son’s body and accusing him of killing his son. the mayor is denying it all. tallulah saves him and convinces la capony the mayor had nothing to do with his son’s death (she knows this b/c she investigated the body last night). she says she thinks the ringmaster knows something. la capony leaves to go confront the ringmaster.

tallulah takes a picture inside the cave with her magical film camera to see if any magic is picked up.

sinclair confronts the mayor when he and tallulah exit the tunnel asking why he doesn’t seem to be looking into the death of la capony’s son. while briskly walking away from sinclair (and her keeping up) he says going public about a murder would scare everyone and wouldn’t look good for him as a mayor (as there hasn’t been a murder in this town for decades). sinclair doesn’t take that well and asks what he’s going to do about the murder. he says he’ll look into it but he has an important coal meeting to get to that he’s already late for. she says the murder is more important and he says this meeting has been penciled in for awhile now and the boy’s already dead isn’t he it can come later.

the mayor and tallulah miss the meeting and the coal benefactors have left. they say they’ll be waiting in town until they come across the mayor. the receptionist said “i told them ‘take it easy’ but they did not take it easy” (his whole thing is that he just says “take it easy” he’s a very bad receptionist).

tallulah develops the photo she took earlier and sees there are magical arcane train tracks going off the main normal train tracks in all kinds of wild directions. they look like they go into the walls of the tunnel.

before bed, the mayor tells tallulah he has some exciting news for tomorrow.

the next day:

the mayor, still wearing the clown nose, has a ceremony b/c it’s the day the town is meant to vote on what to change the town’s name to: coalton heights, coalgood heights, or a write-in. he says there will be no vote and the town will be renamed to thorne heights (after the ringmaster).

at this point, the players frantically looked back at all the graphics i made of the circus performers and noticed that all the performers are wearing clown noses except the ringmaster. tallulah tries to yank the clown nose off of her husband’s face, but his arm reflexively (like it’s moved of its own accord) grabs her wrist and she’s unable to take it off. she tries to cast charm person on him to see if he’s being controlled and learns he’s incapable of being charmed. she rolls a good enough insight that tells her for certain this means he’s incapable of being charmed because he is already being charmed. she sees all the kids in the crowd wearing clown noses and messages sinclair--the only person she can think to trust in this moment--that the clown noses are controlling everyone. and we ended the session there!

[marsupials-of-mars]

Visiting (Pt 6)

@love-has-failed-me @impatentpending @friendlyfatherfigment @procrastinations-my-middle-name @despacitosanders @heyitsmeimjustkindahere @simplyskipper @ai-incarnate @aromanticandaromatic @vicdehart @readytobakebread @i-am-not-anon @lexilucacia @elementalshadowwitch @ssanderssides

Part 1 Part 5 Part 7

"Roman...?" A knock at the door. Roman swallowed his sobs. Part of him wanted to shout "go away" or "I'm fine". The drama queen part, the part that wanted to put on a production. But another part, the needy, sad part, really needed some attention. He lifted his head out of the covers enough to speak.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?"

This time Roman could identify the voice. Virgil.

"Are you gonna yell at me?"

"I wont yell at you. Cmon."

Roman considered for a moment before;

"Yeah, come in..." He re-buried his face before the click of the latch. He heard footsteps on plush carpet, followed by the shift and creak of the bed as Virgil sat down.

"So what did you do?"

"You said you wouldn't yell at me." The accusation was more of a statement. He was lacking the energy necessary for the usual offended princey spectacle.

"I'm not yelling. But i'll phrase it better: What happened?"

Roman whimpered and shifted, lifting his head to meet Virgil's eyes. He didnt seem mad, though he had to know what was going on. More than anything he looked concerned, and that reassured Roman a little.

"Deceit."

Virgil nodded. His neutral expression tightened, only slightly.

"What did he do?"

A fresh batch of tears threatened to fall. Roman's lip quivered but he managed to fight it back.

"I thought he was hinting that he..." He bit his lip. "And so I thought, if I was right, he'd come on a date-" Another sniffle. Virgil exhaled sharply upon the word "date" but held himself back from interrupting. "And he did, but I don't think he thought it was a date..." At that point Virgil did interrupt.

"What did he think it was?" He clearly knew the answer. Roman shrugged in response.

"And I showed him everything I set up, and he-" Roman's shoulders shook and another waterfall of tears managed to escape. He mashed his face back into the covers.

"He said that you had it wrong? He explained himself?"

Roman lifted his head, face re-moistened.

"That's the worst part!" He didnt bother to control the volume of his voice. "He said he loved me when he clearly didn't, and then left! He left me with a blatant lie!"

Virgil gritted his teeth.

"He has a plan. And you threw a wrench in it. But he doesnt want to give it up just yet." Virgil mumbled under his breath.

"What does that mean?" Roman's voice cracked. Virgil met his eye.

"Means I'm paying him a visit."

~~

Virgil stood outside the basement, though he had no dinner to deliver. He tightened his fist and pounded on the door. Roman had assured Virgil that he didn't have to go, that his dumb problems weren't worth the panic atrack that even the thought of re-entering the dark's realm usually triggered. But Virgil had insisted. And he still did. Deceit had crossed a line. The door flew open with a bang.

"VIRGIL!" He was suddenly enveloped in a suffocating hug, suffocating not only in its tightness, but in the stench. He tried to fight his way out, but the hold was vice-like. "YOU'RE BACK! Are you back for good?! What are you doing here?!" Virgil finally found his way out.

"I'm not 'back', I'm just here to have a chat with Deceit."

"Ooooooo is he in trouble?!" Remus clasped his hands together, seemingly having trouble containing his excitement at Virgil's being there. Virgil knew from experience that it was best to entertain him for a few lines of dialogue before trying to get anything from him.

"Big trouble."

"What did he do? Oh, did Roman do it?! Did you walk in on em?!"

Virgil scowled. "No, I didn't. Were you in on that?"

"I tried to be. He was being a pain in the ass about it though. But we both knew what he wanted. So when I gave Dee the letter I made sure to let him know what Roman said about the whole thing."

"What did he say?"

"That he wanted to fuck him."

"He did NOT say that."

"Oh he said it! Did he do it?! You didn't say he didnt do it!"

"He didn't. Where's Deceit?"

"DECEIT!" Remus craned his neck back and shouted as loud as he could, which was very. Virgil flinched and brought his hands to his ears.

"Jesus dude, I meant tell me where I can find him!"

"WHAT?!" A familiar voice answered from down the steps.

"Well then you can find him right here!" Remus stepped aside and pointed down the stairs. Virgil pushed past him, eyes quickly adjusting to the dark.

Eyes met. A stillness, tension seeming to crackle in the air, like static before a storm. Remus shifted uncomfortably. Even he, the absolute opposite of an empath, could sense it.

"Virgil's back..." He restated with nervous jazz hands. The energy in the room remained stagnant. "Should i-"

"Go." Virgil didn't have to turn his head. He knew that Remus knew to comply. The duke sank out without a second thought. Virgil knew he was listening from somewhere, but that wasn't his main concern at the moment. His main concern was standing half a flight of stairs below him, petrified.

"Virgil..." Deceit forced a weak smile. "What brings you-"

Virgil descended the stairs in what seemed like a fraction of a second, fists balled at his sides and glare unwavering. He gripped Deceits wrist and yanked him into the hallway, throwing the hand down and pinning him in place with a steely glare alone.

"We both already know why I'm here, so start talking."

Deceit hissed, baring his fangs reflexively, in defense rather than agression. Virgils heart beat faster, though he knew he held the upper hand. Deceit brought a hand to his mouth, swallowing the impulse.

"Look, Virgil, I didn't think that that was the message i was sending. I hosted him for dinner like Patton asked, impromptu may I add, and sent him to bond with his brother, which was what he said he was sent to do. I'm morally clean here!"

"Oh, so the texts he sent were blatant lies?! I thought that was your job." Virgil pulled his phone from his pocket and pulled up Roman's frantic texts. "The part where you kissed his hand, was that just being a good host?"

"Well that... you know he exaggerates-"

"The part where tonight, you met him for something you clearly thought was more than a date? The part where you TOLD HIM that you LOVED HIM? Was that exaggerative?"

"I-" Deceit exhaled sharply, frustrated as he struggled to find an excuse. "He caught me off gaurd! He wasn't supposed to fall in LOVE!"

"He wasn't 'supposed to'? What, praytell, was he 'supposed' to do then? What was he 'supposed' to feel, or think, what was his ROLE in your little production, hm?!"

"I just-! Look, it's not my fault that nobody ever considers what I bring to the table! It's not my fault that the only chance I have at finding an ally in this entire god forsaken mindscape is if I-"

"Manipulate and deceive my friend into becoming one of your puppets? Pretend to be there for him, pretend to love him back so he'll easier bend to your will at the drop of a hat?!"

"NO! That's not- you're misunderstanding my-" Deceit dragged a hand down his face, struggling to phrase his motive in a kinder way. "He was already so close to understanding my side, he was so frustratingly close! But he sides with you all every time because he sees me as some monster, some demon, because that's all you let him see of me! So I thought that if I showed him that I could be there for him, if I made that connection, that I'd have him in my corner when I needed him. Honest to god, I didn't mean for him to go this far with it!"

"So it's his fault? For taking your clear advances as something maybe even potentially romantic? It was his own dumb fault that he went off and fell in love with you? That doesn't just HAPPEN Deceit!"

Deceit swallowed. He took a breath and cautiously stepped away from the wall hed subconsciously been pressed up against, toward Virgil.

"Cmon Virge... we know each other's names, you can call me by name, you know me, you know that I wouldn't-"

"NO. You do NOT get to call me that. My FRIENDS call me Virge, and whatever you are, whoever you THINK that you are to me, you are NOT my friend."

Deceit stumbled back a step, bringing his hands to his chest as if he'd been shot. He gulped.

"I'm sorry. I am. I try not to do things like this, but you're right. It wasn't an accident, manipulating him. I knew what I was doing, I knew the risk, I knew it was selfish, and I did it anyway. I want to be better Virgil, I wan-"

"Shut up. I don't need your sob story. I'm not the one who needs to hear you apologize. I'm not the one you hurt."

Deceit bit his lip, the guilt building in his expression as he further processed what he'd done. His brow knotted as he worked to find a remedy to the situation.

"I can't honestly give him what he wants... but I can fake it. I can give him that if you want me to, I can love him if that would make it right, I'll go on a date, I'll go on ten, I'll do that for him, if I don't stop it wont hurt him right? Is that what you want?!" Virgil shook his head.

"It's not about what I want. And that's not what he needs. He'd be living a lie, that's what I've been trying to prevent this whole time. You need to apologize to HIM. You need to explain yourself."

"Wouldn't it be easier to-"

"NO. You owe this to him. You brought this on yourself. This is your retribution."

"But can't you tell him? Tell him I said it, tell him I said whatever you want me to say!" He was near pleading. Apologies were clearly crossing the line for him. His sinister, cunning villain aesthetic clearly meant more to him than Roman's feelings. Virgil set his jaw. He grabbed Deceit's shoulder and yanked him forward until their foreheads nearly touched. He could count scales if he really wanted. He spoke softly, coldly:

"Listen close, because I wont say this again. You're not a bad person Deceit. You sure as hell aren't a good person, in any sense of the word, But you aren't a bad person." Virgil took a breath, loosening his grip. "I want you to know that you made a good man cry tonight. Really think about that. A bad person wouldnt care. But I know, and I can see, that that good bit in you is burning with guilt right now, gutting you from the inside out, and it HURTS. And I know that the only way to stop it is for you to drop that goddamn ego, and just be human, and empathetic, and KIND, for once in your life. This is how you do it."

Deceit blinked, eyes shining with a hint of moisture. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting it out in a defeated hiss.

"...Okay. I'll do it."

"Now?"

"Now." He opened his eyes. "Take me to him."

Virgil nodded. He gestured with a tip of the head and Deceit followed, past Remus (who had been listening from the end of the hall, undoubtedly), up the stairs, and up to Roman's door.

[la-knight]

BOOKS I (RE)READ IN 2018: FURTHERMORE BY TAHEREH MAFI

"Alice Alexis Queensmeadow, 12, rates three things most important: Mother, who wouldn’t miss her; magic and color, which seem to elude her; and Father, who always loved her. Father disappeared from Ferenwood with only a ruler, almost three years ago. But she will have to travel through the mythical, dangerous land of Furthermore, where down can be up, paper is alive, and left can be both right and very, very wrong. Her only companion is Oliver whose own magic is based in lies and deceit. Alice must first find herself—and hold fast to the magic of love in the face of loss." "Red was ruby, green was fluorescent, yellow was simply incandescent. Color was life. Color was everything. Color, you see, was the universal sign of magic." "Love, it turned out, could both hurt and heal." "Narrow-mindedness will only get you as far as Nowhere, and once you're there, you're lost forever.” "Alice was an odd girl, even for Ferenwood, where the sun occasionally rained and the colors were brighter than usual and magic was as common as a frowning parent." "Making magic is far more interesting than making sense." So I actually read this book a few months ago and then recently reread it via audio so I could remember all the details for this review. I was first introduced to Tahereh Mafi’s work through her book Shatter Me, her debut novel. Ironically, it wasn’t through any of the ways I normally hear about books - Booktube, Goodreads, my best friend, Booklr - but from my husband’s aunt. She runs - or used to run, not sure if she’s still doing it - a book review blog. And she posted a review of Shatter Me and I was like, “What a weird, interesting writing style, lemme check this out.” At this point the entire Shatter Me Trilogy plus novellas had been published and I devoured all of them (still need to review those, too). So when I heard Tahereh Mafi was writing a middle grade book, I got super excited! Especially because this was during a time when I was too stressed out to read any YA, since most of the YA I like involves having to save the world and all the stress that entails. I need to lay out some trigger warnings real quick: the main character, Alice? Her mom is incredibly abusive, both emotionally and physically. It’s treated as not such a big deal in the book, which is honestly the story’s only real flaw, but it’s bad. It took me seven tries and resorting to an audiobook (and even with a fantastic narrator, that short audiobook took me almost a month to get through) because the abuse was so bad. So:

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS BOOK CONTAINS EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE OF A CHILD BY THEIR PARENT

Let’s get started, yo! First of all, the setting. OMG. See, I love tthis thing called Victorian fairy tales, which is something you can find in books like Mary Poppins - these super fantastical bits of whimsy that just warm your heart and make you grin because they’re so creative and fun. In the Mary Poppins books, you can jump into chalk drawings and go to a circus amidst the stars and make friends with a woman who sells living candy-cane horses. In Catherynne Valente’s Fairyland series, there are shadow balls and talking phonographs. And in Furthermore, there’s light raining down from the sky in literal drops, sticks of magic you use like money, and forests full of invisible berries. The way the world is put together and described, so full of color and imagination, is awesome and beautiful and I could picture it perfectly. It reminded me in all the best ways of books like The Phantom Tollbooth (one of my favorites). But I wouldn’t want to live there, because Ferenwood is full of colorism and ick. Alice, the female lead, is an albino in a world where color is important and the darker you are, the more magical you’re considered to be. So Alice gets treated like garbage. 

Also I think Alice may be autistic, but I don’t know if she’s deliberately coded autistic or if Tahereh Mafi did it by accident while trying to make Alice eccentric, but she comes across as autistic. I’ve actually begun to pay more attention to that sort of the thing in recent years, being autistic myself, and I see it a lot - authors giving their characters autistic characteristics, often without meaning to. I just touch on it here because Alice is already treated badly for being albino, but she’s also considered a freak because of the way she behaves - like an autistic preteen. And I wonder if Tahereh Mafi did that on purpose as a sort of commentary or not, because while Alice is treated badly by the people of Ferenwood for her behavior, the Narrator (who is an actual character in the story; love when that happens) always sides with Alice in this regard. The storyline is sweet and I love it. Alice tries to compete in the magical testing all the preteens do on their twelfth birthday, and so she dances. And her dancing is magical but it’s not Magical, you know? So she fails the test. Well, turns out a boy who passed the test the year before, Oliver (the brat), needs Alice’s help fulfilling a quest - rescuing Alice’s missing dad. So they go on a quest together, although Alice hates Oliver (and rightly so, he’s rude). They go to a dozen different and cool places, all of which are dangerous and all of which are different. I wish we could’ve spent more time in those places but I understand why we didn’t. The only annoying thing is there’s an origami fox on the cover but it only pops up in one of the worlds for like two pages and then it’s gone and I thought we could spend more time both in that world and with that creature since it ended up on the cover. But alas, not. I understand why - middle grade is often cursed to be short, especially if it’s the author’s first MG novel ever. Once you get big and bad like Rick Riordan you can start tossing out gihugic tomes like Son of Neptune or Blood of Olympus on the regular. Oliver’s reason for needing Alice was one I didn’t see coming, nor was her magical talent - a talent they hint at throughout the book but never explain until near the end, at the perfect moment. I thought it was an interesting commentary on how young girls perceive themselves, that Alice hates this marvelous, amazing talent she has of bringing color into the world from nothing...because she can’t use it to change how she looks. Society has trained her already, by the age of twelve, to discount something incredible about herself because she can’t use it to make herself into what society wants her to be. That’s pretty impressive for a book this short. I loved some of the more deliberate messages in the work - the thing I mentioned about society’s pressures on young girls, and also that it’s okay to tell boys to screw off if they’re mean to you, and to have hope and to look for second chances (Alice thinks she only has one chance to pass the test and believes her life is over when she fails, only to find out she can try again the next year). I love all of that, and the lyrical and whimsical quality of the prose, and the world building is so creative and also makes me a bit hungry (people eat magic in this book, among other things; I wonder what it tastes like). Now...let’s talk about the abuse. That’s my biggest issue with the book. Alice’s mother is a total bitch. And not in a cool, kickass way like the lady in the show Empire. She’s vicious, she’s cruel, and she’s abusive. Alice knows - and the Narrator confirms - that she turned bad when her husband went missing, and apparently the worry for him and the strain of raising four kids on her own is making her hard and sad, but I don’t give a shit. I was hoping Tahereh Mafi would’ve gone all Hansel and Gretel on this lady and when Alice comes home with her dad, the wife’s dead or something. She beats Alice (at one point she beat Alice for chasing a boy out of the place where she was sleeping, even though he kept staring at her in her sleeping clothes, because apparently the boy - Oliver - had the right to break into their barn at 3AM and ogle Alice???), she verbally abuses Alice, she sends her to bed regularly without dinner, is constantly criticizing, won’t hug her or kiss her, and - this one really got me, for some reason - forces her to do illegal things. Those invisible berries I mentioned? Alice can find them and bring back whole baskets because of her magical gift, and so her mom sends her out to pick them all the time. If she brings home enough, her mom smiles. If she doesn’t, her mom yells and calls her names and sometimes beats her. Guess what? Picking those berries is illegal. We don’t find this out until much later in the book, but it is. The thing I didn’t like about the berries is that Oliver, who’s thirteen, is less concerned about Alice’s mother beating her for not picking enough contraband berries and instead focuses on how her ability to find the berries in the first place means Alice has really impressive magic. NOBODY seems to care how much Alice is being abused, not even the Narrator. The Narrator sympathizes with Alice’s hurt feelings and despair over her missing Father, but it’s never objectively stated that her mom is abusing her AND SHE IS. Yeah, her mom is sooo glad to have her back after Alice almost dies on her trip with Oliver, but so what? My roommate’s mom is so abusive that my roommate’s clergy leaders, doctors, and psychological therapist all said my roommate needed to cut ties with said mom, even though my roommate’s mom has also exhibited the same kind of “oh baby I’m so sorry, I love you so much” bullshit. That’s what abusers do. So I hate Alice’s mom. She literally makes her daughter feel like if she doesn’t risk her life numerous times AND bring her father back, there is no chance her mother will ever love her. And if she pulls that stuff off (which she does), then MAYBE her mother will love her. Nuh-uh. Nope. Hate that bitch. Other than that, I really loved this book. The characters felt real (Alice is me, but without my anger), Even the ones I didn’t like were still REAL, and well-drawn. The world building and word choice is fantastic. Basically, if you can get past the evil mom, read this book. World Building: 1 star Realism: 1 star Word Choice: 1 star Plot: 1 star Characterization: 1 star - ¼ star because Oliver Newbanks is an obnoxious little creep - 1 star because the mom is AN ABUSIVE EVIL BITCH - ¼ star because NOBODY DOES ANYTHING ABOUT THAT +½ star because Alice is amazing and has a genius brain and I love her Total score: 4/5 stars Would I Buy It: Yes! I own it and loved it enough I got the sequel for Christmas (in...2017...I've been sitting on this review for months...)! Would I Recommend: yes, but with trigger warnings. Again, highly abusive evil bitch mom who somehow doesn’t die.

[marxiehodgeheg]

Death Note (2017)

okay, so I just watched the Death Note movie and damn that shit was

WILD

so im just going to compile some small notes about how bad and how much they fucked Death Note like fuck man

Please Note: there are going to be elements of spoilers in this list so if you are planning on watching Death Note (2017) be aware (but in all honesty please dont watch it just watch the 2006 Anime Adaptation I beg you, I am doing you a solid)

lets begin

ok so first off, this shit is americanised so of course there is a buttload of whitewashing because if you didnt know Death Note is Japanese and set in Japan and the characters are Japanese - please. 

Light Yagami is a good boy™ so like how dare you make this shitty bad boy - hes doing other peoples homework please no

the Death Note lands right next to him - um no the Death Note lands 10 feet away from Yagami and outside his classroom stop this

also it starts raining right after he picks up the Death Note - spoooky

white!light finds some bullys who are obviously over school age and so he pulls the child abuse card on them if they were to hit him - he gets decked anyway. 

he gets caught with the homework and put into detention and oh no the light went out - creepy factor™ to the max - so spooked 

oh yeah, did i mention that this film is rated an 18 

so of course theres been swearing and cursing from everyone, even Light - sorry not my Light 

best part of the film was white!light shitting himself when he see Ryuk like yes 10/10 A++ content would watch that scene again

white!light also slaps himself and i wanted him to do it more 

theres more swearing, i mean i had to settle in for a wild ride with fucks and shits throughout this whole film, but like the anime was only a 15 

also Willem Dafoe as Ryuks voice was pretty cool, had a nice ring to it but anyway 

he goes to kill older bully because Ryuk says he wants to (obviously hes hesitant) but cant 

legit words from the film “i dont have a pen” Ryuk pulls out a pen “well its good you have one” im yeLLING

he writes older bully guys name down but oh no, Ryuk tells him to write down how so guess what 

HE CHOOSES DECAPITATION IM SERIOUS YALL THIS IS HIS FIRST KILL NO HESITATION JUST WRITES DOWN DECAPITATION LIKE WHO FUCKEN WROTE THIS 

FUCKEN GORE TO THE MAX YOU SEE THIS GUYS HEAD BE FUCKEN RIPPED FROM HIS BODY BY A TRAGIC ACCIDENT LIKE FUCK 

by this point i was already like #NotMyDeathNote i mean 

dad is introduced, but where is mother and sister - ill tell you where - non existant (mum is dead and there was never any sister) 

MORE SWEARING >:(

theres still apples tho and Ryuk still loves them 

white!light reads the Death Note rules (well he actually skims them but okay) 

comes across some scribble and sees a not “dont trust Ryuk”

HE PRONOUNCES IT RYE-UK NO LIE IM LIKE HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU NO ITS RYUK PRONOUNCED REE-UK FUCK YOU

its okay tho because Ryuk comes out and shuts him down with the correct pronunciation like yas bitch you tell him 

ALSO LET ME LOOK AT MY MAIN MAN STOP PUTTING HIM IN THE DARKNESS LET ME SEE HIS FACE NOT JUST HIS EYES 

Ryuk suggests shark attacks on the toilet as a not possible example of death - Ryuk i thought you were better than this 

angry scribbling of names - damn white!light is mad 

AND ANOTHER THING WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE HEART ATTACKS LIKE HE JUST KEPT SPECIFYING THE DEATHS - NO THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS YOU DONT NEED TO JUST KEEP WRITING THESE SHITTY DEATHS

you get one look at Ryuk and damn, my man you ugly im sorry they did you like that

okay back at school, watching the team practice and guess what 

HES GOT THE DEATH NOTE AND HES READING IT IN THE OPEN IN PUBLIC - BITCH PUT IT THE FUCK AWAY

OH BUT WAIT A GIRL SEES HIM - SHE NOTICES IT AND IS LIKE “oo Death Note whats that” AND HES LIKE “nah its nothing™” 

BUT IT GETS BETTER 

HE TELLS HER ABOUT IT AND LETS HER READ IT AND SHOWS HER HOW IT WORKS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON - MY LIGHT WOULD NEVER DO THIS 

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THIS CHICK IS BUT APPARENTLY HE DOES AND SHE KNOWS HIM SO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SO WRONG - WHO IS SHE?!?!?!

so new girl who im sure is supposed to be Misa Misa says to white!light “lets change the world together” and so these words obviously go straight to white!lights dick because theres sexual tension in the air

“can i kiss you?” “youre not suppose to ask” 

she just fucken pins him to the wall shes making him her bitch and theyre kissing ugh my eyes hurt 

cut back to school and they in class and they looking at each other like they fucked 

then theres more kissing like fucking straight white movie romances am i right 

theyre finding a name for the God who will rule the new world

of course its Kira like what else is it going to be

“Kira means light in celtic” and then quickly “also its similar to the word killer in Japanese” like damn bitch i wonder why you quickly said that - oh yeah because Death Note is actUALLY JAPANESE 

im so fucjing done with this film 

but now the death victims are leaving perfectly written Japanese messages on the walls like this doesnt mAKE UP FOR YOUR SHITTY WHITEWASHING

news time: white boy feels special for getting lots of praise and attention for killing bad guys 

were suddenly in Japan in a night/strip club 

hooded guy is introduced - hes speaks Japanese - finally we are saved by the Japanese guy who I assume is L

nope L is not Japanese just speaks it just like in the anime 

white!light is suddenly angry as detective dad for getting on the Kira case like damn what is your damage 

Watari is here but he is not cute and kind looking like in the anime, i am disappointed 

white!lights dad talks to L on the laptop - but wheres the garbled voice???????

L is introdu--

L IS BLACK, I REPEAT L IS BLACK - ARREST THAT WHITE BOY BECOME POWERFUL WE ARE SAVED 

“rest your glutes” - true words from L. a real line in a real fim 

movie!L is just as good and cute as anime!L 

nope wait, he actually appears in public himself instead of a decoy - im sorry but i cant have this - not my L

he might have had his face covered and hooded but still - not my L 

WHITE!LIGHT IS RUDE - HE TALKS TO RYUK LIKE SHIT - TELLS HIM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP HOW DARE YOU I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM FOR THAT ALONE

finally found out Misa Misa replacements name 

its Mia

some cops walked off a building 

i kind of stopped taking as many notes by this point i was just not paying attention 

“if you fuck this were not the good guys anymore” - what part of killing people, be they bad or not, makes you the good guys? NONE

L and Light meeting in a cafe 

L becomes a cat and pushes shit off the table 

“youre the one who flew into the sun, im just the one to make sure you actually burn” - yooOOOOOOO L rekt u 

white!lights dad dares to be killed - Mia thinks about doing it but white!light stops her - she gets dumped 

she begs for him back 

she pulls out the i love you card 

it works because of course it would and theyre kissing again - like fuck no bitch you tried to kill my dad get the fuck out

Watari is targeted, his name is written in the book - LEAVE HIM ALONE

apparently people can be spared by burning the page with their name on it, what kind of bullshit

L is angry, he is so smad 

L GETS PINNED AGGRESSIVELY TO A TABLE UNHAND HIM YOU HEATHENS 

but another fault that L doesnt really get mad, hes actually a cool cucumber im sorry not my L

homecoming dance - really 

Mia gives white!light his outfit for it and also a hat with a note saying “i have it” 

have what idk

Ls old kids home is creepy™

white!light is wEARING A TOPHAT TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE WHA THE FUCK 

it was a decoy trick wow

oh no Wataris page is missing it cant be burned now, WATARI IS GOING TO DIE 

Watari dies before he can give white!light Ls real name HA

Take my Breath Away by Berlin plays at the dance - beautiful 

oh damn Mia actally outsmarts and FCUKS white!light - she wrote his name in the Death Note 

nope wait shes going to burn the page to bring him back fucking

she still fucked him over tho

L is still smad, but now hes got a gun and hes stolen a cop car 

theres a mangled L theme going on i swear

smashes through a “drive slow, drive safe” sign - good one L 

L finds white!light and chases him on foot

L IS RUNNING I REPEAT L IS RUNNING 

PARKOUR 

L IS DOWN AND OUT COLD IM 

now white!light has the gun

news flash: white boy is having regrets but white girl is living it 

its sad™

OH DAMN HE FUCKED HER OVER BACK IM YELLING

theyre on a ferris wheel and then it collapses spontaneously 

oh no white boy is having major regret about everything what a shame 

bye Mia, bye white!light 

oop Mia is dead 

L is okay 

white!light is in the water 

some random sees the washed up Death Note and picks it up 

white!light is in hospital - the random returns the Death Note to him

 memories of dead girlfriend™

father just now realised that his son is Kira

WHITE BOY SET THE WHOLE FUCKING THING UP - HE TELLS HIS DAD EVERYTHING LIKE FUCK HE MIGHT BE WHITE BUT HE FUCKING SMART 

L is still smad but now he had good hard evidence and proof of Kira

Ryuk is laughing and says that humans are interesting 

and then get this 

IT FUCING ENDS 

WHITE!LIGHT LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES AND LIKE IM JUST LIKE THIS IS NOT RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK NO PUT IT RIGHT FUCKING KILL HIM YOU COWARDS AND LET L LIVE 

but its okay because there are “funny bloopers” in the end credits 

more mangled L theme

im now watching the original 2006 anime and all is well 

Death Note 2017 whats that?