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hyunluvbug · 1 year ago

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jealousy, jealousy

pairing: lee know x afab reader

content: 🔞NSFW MDNI!!, ex lovers to lovers?, public sex (bathroom), oral (m receiving), face fucking (f receiving), unprotective sex, possesive!minho

premise: lee know is your ex and he sees you in the club one night. he becomes jealous from all the attention everyone is giving you.

word count: 1.8k

a/n: i have been simping extra hard for this man recently (more than normal ><) and this idea kind of drove me crazy. so i had to write and share this fantasy, enjoy :>

minho. the man who once consumed every ounce of your mind. his name running circles throughout brain like a marathon. he is everywhere until he is nowhere. the cause of your breakup? it was a mutual agreement. something you both discussed. all of it came down to the both of you being too busy to see one another.

"i think we should break up." minho tells you one evening in your apartment.

"okay."

your agreement is one that shocks him. he's shocked that you both thought the exact same thing. being too busy and not seeing each other enough made it feel like there wasn't any point to the relationship. of course, you miss him like hell and he misses you too. but it is what was best in the moment.

your friends thought maybe you are insane. they know how much you both love each other. hearing you decided to break up was a shocker for them. when you two had been dating for over a year. you kept telling them you were fine and that the breakup was simple. no one's heart was truly broken and no one was left with sullen feelings. a small piece of you did wish things could be different. but life just happens.

this is what led to your friends dragging you to the club. it had been a week without him and it felt like any other day. you barely saw him during the relationship to begin with so not much was new. a part of you did begin to feel lonely. knowing that you are no longer his and he’s not yours, did hurt.

your friends wanted to drag you to the club thinking it would cheer you up when you weren't even sad. you accepted anyways since a night out could be fun.

the crowd was lively. music boomed through the room causing vibrations to buzz the floor beneath you. a cup in hand filled with vodka and your hips swaying side to side. your friends are around you dancing with one another, twirling around and giggles leaving their lips. you are tipsy. the liquor making your body feel electric.

there were many other attractive people who caught your eye. some of them even eyeing you from how great you looked tonight. you had put on what you considered to be your best outfit and it was garnering many people's attention. one person's attention was all on you and you hadn't even noticed him.

minho was at that exact same club. for the exact reasons as you. his friends didn't really understand how the two of you broke up. you were practically inseparable when you were together but they guessed his busy schedule plus yours didn't match. minho was practically fuming though as he watched you dance in the crowd. taking notice of all the other people watching you, practically eye fucking you from a distance. he felt jealousy bubble up into his chest and he was waiting for it to explode.

you don't even remember how it all happened. one minute you were dancing and another you were following minho into the men's bathroom. he walked over to you and didn't even say a word, all he did was grab your wrist and drag you along. you let him.

"minho?" you questioned as he leads you into a stall. he locks the stall door and stares at you. taking in just how great you look in your outfit. everything about it makes him lose his mind.

"do you know how difficult it is to see other people who clearly want to fuck you?"

"excuse me." you question, shocked at what he is telling you. he begins to pull down his zipper, you watch him with your eyes wide. you are tipsy but you can still understand what he is about to do.

“knees.”

“if you think i’m going to get on this dirty ass floor-“

he lightly pushes you to the floor, “i said get on your knees.”

his eyes are clouded with darkness, something you hadn’t seen before. you gulp down your words as you look up at him. he pulls his pants and boxers down, his eyes looking into yours.

“you know what to do.”

you hesitate for a moment. remembering the break up and how it all happened. it was all his idea and yet here he is practically commanding you to suck him off. you can't deny that this whole situation turns you on.

"come on baby, i know you've missed me as much as i have missed you." he sighs above you, you look into his eyes. your eyes half lidded and he smiles at the sight. you bring his cock closer to your lips and begin to lick the tip.

"fuck, that's my good girl."

you tease his tip with your tongue, his hand caresses your cheek and pulls you forward. his cock fully enters your mouth and he lets out a loud groan.

"such a perfect mouth." he holds onto your face while he fucks his cock into your mouth. your eyes are on him as you watch him bite down on his lip. many moans and groans leave from his lips as he continues to slide in and out of your mouth.

squelching sounds of your spit on his cock fills the bathroom and echoes off the walls. the idea of someone walking in and hearing it makes you wet.

minho then pulls you away quickly. he stares into your eyes, a smirk is on his face. he grabs your wrists and pulls you up off the floor. his lips come into contact with yours and it feels euphoric. being able to kiss again after so long feels amazing. it is a feeling you didn't think you would be able to experience again.

while you're making out, you feel him pull down your panties. easy access since you're wearing a skirt. he runs his fingers under your skirt to feel your wetness.

"you always get soaking for me." he whispers over your lips. his fingers prod at your folds and run over your clit. making your legs shake and a soft moan to leave your lips.

"minho please."

"don't worry, i'll give you what you want."

he places you against the cold metal stall wall. you jump up to wrap your legs around him. you feel his cock come into contact with your folds. he rubs his cock over them letting the wetness coat him.

"you're mine." he breathes into your ear and pushes inside. the feeling of his cock inside of you at this angle makes your eyes roll. he is able to hit the deepest part of you. exploring the pleasure it brings you both.

he begins to thrust, in doing so, the stall wall begins to creak. the sound of him fucking you makes your brain mushy. the thrusts become more erratic and quick, your moans egging him to go faster.

"you want someone to hear you get slutted out huh? let them hear how dumb i fuck you. come on baby, say it."

you can't even form words. what he says slips in one ear and out the other. you can only imagine how fucked out you must look right now. your eyes are half closed and practically rolling into the back of your head.

"say it." he coos and you pant loudly. his thrusts become more harsh, each one pulling out slowly and thrusting back in even harder.

"y-you fuck, you fuck m-me so stupid."

"good girl." he chuckles, his thrusts go even deeper inside. wet sounds filling the bathroom. each thrust making you even more stupid, not being able to think about anything but him.

and your worst fear happens. someone walks in.

the bathroom door swings open with a creak and you hear them unzip their pants. minho covers your mouth with one hand and continues to fuck up into you. this drives you even more insane. knowing someone can still hear the rhythmic squeaking of the stall door. they can probably guess what is happening. your moans are muffled by his hand, he looks into your eyes. a big smirk is on his face. he is reveling in the fact someone can hear you get fucked. once they finish their business, they flush and walk out. the door creaks closed.

minho removes his hand from your mouth and you let out a loud groan.

"can't let anyone hear how fucked out you sound. only i can. just me. no one else baby. i want you for myself. i own you." he whispers sweetly into your ear. each phrase matched with a hard thrust.

you let out a few more whimpers. starting to feel a little embarrassed at how he makes you feel. everything he says makes you even closer to your high. his words allow you to revisit your feelings for him, everything begins to come back to you. you don't ever want to leave him. you want to be with him no matter what it takes.

"cum for me baby." he pants into your ear, his thrusts beginning to falter as his high also approaches. he thrusts inside a few more times and you're coming undone around him.

"shit." he grunts and you feel his cum coat your walls. he wraps his arms around you, your legs still secure around his waist. he pulls out of you and you let out a low whine. he begins to breathe heavily into your neck, trying to get through his orgasm.

when his breaths slow down, he looks up at you. his eyes glossed over with love. he smiles shyly at you, "okay so maybe i got jealous."

the statement makes you chuckle. you tap his arms and he helps you down to the floor. your knees wobble a little bit but he helps you stay up. he hands you your underwear and you slide them back on.

"that was one hell of a way to show me you want to get back together." you smirk and his face flushes. now he is the one who is embarrassed. he pulls up his own boxers and jeans.

"i just missed you so much baby." your hand reaches up to his cheek, caressing his soft skin.

"well, you have me. i am never leaving your side again." he leans into your hand, his eyes welling up with tears. he sniffles a little and you coo at him.

"wow, you missed me that much? i can finally say i made the lee minho cry."

"ah shut up, you're ruining it."

you both begin to laugh together, hoping that this is what will keep you together. the undeniable love you have for one another should be enough. no one or anything could ever get in the way of that again.

#lee minho smut #lee know smut #lee know imagine #lee minho imagine #stray kids imagine #kpop imagines #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids smut #kpop smut #kpop x reader #skz smut #skz imagine

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yuukiiqwq · 8 months ago

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Dandelions: Sukuna Ryomen x Reader

His heart beats only for you while yours beats for someone else, so he made a wish on a dandelion, hoping it would come true.

Context/Warnings: Fem!Reader, Soft!Sukuna, swearing, unrequited love, flower language, a bit suggestive

Wc: 2.7k

Part 2

It's not like he wanted to fall in love with you. It was actually your fault. You weaseled your way into his life and then his heart. If only you had left him alone, then none of this would have happened. But you were too god damn stubborn to leave him alone. It was all your fault.

It was so stupid how he fell in love with you. Sukuna absolutely hated cliché stuff. And here he is going through the stereotypical cliché plot. He even told you how much he hated it. He remembers telling you how he rather die than read those stupid romance books you like to read. They were full of stupid plot with disgusting mushy feelings. Basically, it's the same thing in every story. He always felt like his ears were going to fall off listening to you talk about those stories. Recently, you started to read this one-shot called Dandelion. Something about a guy having unrequited feelings for a girl for years and the girl liking someone else.

Absolutely fucking ridiculous.

Sukuna remembers how he met you. It was a few years ago, back when they were still in school. He was minding his own business and then you fucking popped out of nowhere. He wouldn't tell you but you scared the shit out of him when you suddenly appeared.

"Yknow, smoking is bad for you."

He turned around to see you at the door smiling.

"Y'know, not minding your own fucking business is bad for you," he scoffed. "Get out of here. This is my spot."

You walked up to him and snatched the cigarette away. You tossed it onto the ground and put out the light.

"They can cause many health problems," you say as you crossed your arms. "And I don’t see your name anywhere on this rooftop."

He glared at you– "Listen here, you brat. What I do has absolutely nothing to do with you. So skip along to your friends and go bother them instead."

"What if you are my friend?" You said smugly. Your eyes were shining with mischief. "And since you said to go bother my friends, that's what I'm doing."

"You must think you're so fucking funny," he snarled at you.

You put your hands on your waist– "I am actually very funny."

He took a step towards you and towered over you. "Leave."

You looked up at him with a deadpan expression.

"No."

"Last warning. Leave."

"Make me."

News flash – He wasn’t able to get rid of you. He was unsuccessful no matter what he did.

You decided to bother him every single god damn day. Somehow, you always showed up at the rooftop whenever he was there. You just wouldn't leave him alone, so he decided to ditch the rooftop. To say he failed was something he didn’t want to admit. He didn't fail. He just decided to ignore you. But then you showed up in front of his classroom. You somehow found his classroom.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance and quickly tried to leave before you could catch up to him.

Mission escaping the brat– failed.

You were a fast little thing. You immediately caught up to him and were now walking side by side with him. This caused a lot of people in the hallway to stare at both of you. You two were an unexpected duo to see together.

"Sukunaaaaaaa"

Great. You even found out his name. Amazing. Whoever told you his information is dead. He's going to kill them.

"Sukuna, if you keep looking like that, you'll end up being super ugly. No wonder you don't have a girlfriend."

Sukuna turned around to face you– "You trying to pick a fucking figh–"

He wasn’t able to finish his sentence as you stuffed a mochi in his mouth. Where the fuck did that mochi come from?!

He quickly chewed the mochi and swallowed.

"Did you fu–"

"Was it good?" You quickly interrupted. "It's a new flavor that came out recently. A friend gave me some to try."

"I don't car–"

"It was a limited edition sale. My friend camped outside the shop for a whole day just to buy all the stocks."

You continued talking about it, and Sukuna wanted to just smack you. You were so annoying.

"I am going to smack you if you keep talking."

You immediately stopped talking and walking. You looked up at him and grinned mischievously.

"Wow, Sukuna. Didn't know you were kinky like that. It's ok, though! I like it rough, but take me out to dinner first. Bedroom activities can come later~"

This caused him to explode in anger. You were teasing him. He immediately stomped away from you. He could hear you laughing as you tried to catch up to him. Fuck. You were annoying as hell. Sassy and challenging him in every way.

Your eyes were gleaming with mischief. Did you have to say that? Now he wanted to put you in your place. Bend you over under him and–

Oh fuck. Now you implanted a curse in his head. Fucking minx.

After months of you constantly pestering him, he grew used to your presence. He started to enjoy it. Wait, no. He meant he was just tolerating you.

Yeah. That's right. He's just tolerating you.

"Sukuna! Stop!!!"

Sukuna immediately halted– "What's goin–"

"You almost stepped on some dandelions," you say as you knelt down to the floor.

Sukuna felt like he was going to pop a vein. He can't believe you stopped him for a weed. Can you let he walk to a restaurant in peace?! It was fucking Saturday. He should have never allowed you to follow him home back then.

"Are you fucking joking with me right now?" He looked down at you as you pluck the dandelion. "You stopped me for a fucking weed?"

"First of all, it's a flow–"

"It's a fucking weed."

"It's a flower!" You huffed. "And it's a wishing flower! You make a wish and then blow away the seeds!"

"Great, now you've gone crazy. Just the thing I need from you. As if you're not annoying enough."

"I have not gone crazy! People make wishes on dandelions!"

"And do you know if any of them got fulfilled?" He raised his eyebrow at you. "And I'm sure the people you talk of are kids."

"Well um–" You try to think of something to say as a comeback but come up with nothing.

He smiled smugly– "That's what I thought."

"That's not the point!" You quickly shoved a dandelion in front of his face.

"Get that weed away from my face. I'm starving for food, and you're stopping me for a weed."

"Geez, stop being a party pooper," you sulked. "Make a wish! Maybe it will come true and prove you wrong!"

"I am not going to do something so childish," he said as he pushed your hand away.

"I'll buy lunch!"

Sukuna stopped and thought about it for a second before saying– "And dinner."

If he was going to indulge in your childish antics and look like an idiot, he better get something out of it.

You reluctantly agreed, and he snatched the dandelion out of your hands. He made a wish and then blew the dandelion seeds away.

"There. Made my wish. Now I hope your wallet is ready."

"Whatever, you glutton! What did you wish for?"

"None of your fucking business brat."

The two of you spent a lot of time together. You eventually introduced Sukuna to your other friends. Which surprised Sukuna because at this point, with the amount of time you came and bothered him, he believed that your friends were imaginary.

A girl named Shoko Ieiri, who looks like she's sleep deprived. A guy named Suguru Geto, who, in his opinion, looks weird. Why is he smiling like that!? And finally, a guy named Satoru Gojo. He was the worst out of all your friends. He didn't do anything to him, but just looking at him makes Sukuna want to get rid of him. Cut him in half. Sukuna didn't understand exactly why until he looked at you, looking at him.

Although Sukuna personally knew nothing about love, he knew what he saw. He seen enough people do what they do when in love. He heard enough about the stupid love stories you like to read. He can see it in your eyes when you look at your friend. You liked him.

The way your eyes light up whenever he comes toward you. The way your cheeks start to turn red with a small blush. The way you nervously play with your hands. The smile you give whenever you're around him. A smile that can rival the sun. He felt a pain blossom in his chest as he clenched his fist. These are things he has never seen or gotten from you before.

He hated everything that was going on right now. He hated the way you would sneak glances at him when you think no one was looking. The way you lean into his touch. The way you looked at him with pure adoration and love.

He absolutely hated it.

It took a while for Sukuna to understand why he hated Gojo so much. Why just the sight of Gojo annoyed him. And it's all your fault.

He didn't even know when these feelings started. Was it when you guys first met and you stood your ground with him? Was it when you teased him? Was it when you kept bothering him? Was it when you guys would go out for lunch or dinner together? Was it when he took care of you when you were sick? Did he fall for your looks? Your personality? Was it because of the times you've spent together?

Fuck. He was pissed. Here he is, catching those disgusting mushy feelings for you. Something he sweared would have never happened, and he doesn’t even know how it even happened.

"Fucking hell," Sukuna sighs as he run his hand through his hair.

It should be fine, right? He'll just ignore this. Move on like he didn't realize he fell in love with you somewhere along this journey. These feelings won't last anyway. It will disappear soon. You liked someone else, too, so it should be easy to move on. Right?

Fucking wrong. He's never been more wrong in his life.

All of you have graduated and are now doing your own thing. You all meet up regularly to hang out. Although Sukuna made an effort to see you daily as much as possible–

Wait, no. Correction: He sees you daily because he knows you'll do something stupid if he wasn't watching over you. Nothing else, really.

It's not like Sukuna had trouble moving on. He's not dreaming about you daily. He doesn't want you. It's not like that at all. He obviously moved on from you while you still liked Gojo. No point in these feelings since they're a nuisance.

Deep down, even if he ignores it, he knows he still likes you. But it's not like you'll ever look his way like the way you look at Gojo. Unless an opportunity arrives and it just so happens to arrive. That opportunity came knocking at his door, and he isn't going to let it slip away.

After years watching you love someone else, now he is watching you get your heart broken by that same person. Honestly, he never understood why you fell in love with this guy. That guy was a child in a man's body. Like, who even drinks those sugary, coma-inducing drinks??

But here you are smiling through the pain. He saw small tears forming in your eyes before you quickly wiped them away and said there was dust in your eyes. Others may not notice it, but he does. He saw the hurt in your eyes when Gojo told them that he fell in love at first sight with someone.

Great. Now he wants to murder Gojo even more now for hurting you.

However, he can't help but feel happy? Relief? He doesn't know what he felt. He just knew that an opportunity was given. But he isn't going to be a shitty person and confess to you right when you got your heart broken. He'll wait until you heal. If you ever will. After all, he had already kept his feelings to himself for years. What's wrong with waiting a bit more?

He could make you happy. He would give it his god damn all to make you happy. He would never hurt you. He wouldn't make you cry. At least not cry in a sad way. You crying under him, though, is a different story–

He quickly shakes his head to get rid of that thought. He's getting distracted. You got him wrapped around your fingers, and you don't even know it. He couldn't help but sigh. He really is still in love with you.

He watches as you and Geto try to give Gojo advice on how to win over the person he likes.

"You're an idiot," he interrupted.

He stared at Gojo as he said it, but it was meant for you and himself, really. Both of you two are idiots. Both of you have unrequited love, like in those shitty stories you read. He really is living in the stupid cliché plot he hates. And it's all your fault.

A few months have passed since then. He knew you had mostly moved on. He can still see the hurt sometimes, but it's fading. He knew he should make a move soon. After all, if he doesn't, what if someone else approaches you? But he also knows that just because you moved on doesn't mean you'll see him as he sees you. So he's willing to wait for that day. The day you look at him the way he looks at you.

So here he is. Standing in front of a flower shop. Looking extremely out of place. If you told his past self that he fell in love with you and is now trying to pursue you, he can see his past self attempting murder. He really can't believe he's going to order flowers.

He took a few deep breaths and walked in.

The minute he walked in, a florist greets him– "Hello sir! How may we help you today?"

"Can you make me a boutique?"

"Of course, sir! What type of flowers would you like for the boutique?"

He wanted something to convey his feelings and message. He's done some research about flowers and their meaning. Many websites showed different things, but he eventually settled for one.

"I want..."

When he finally finished ordering the flowers, he went home. On his way back home, he noticed a dandelion.

"...it's a wishing flower! You make a wish and then blow away the seeds! ...People make wishes on dandelions!"

He stared at the dandelion for a few minutes before he clicked his tongue. He bent down and plucked it. He then made a wish and blew the seeds away. He didn't know why he did it. It's not like the dandelion would make his wish come true.

"Tsk. Can't believe I did this. It's fucking stupid."

You really made him a god damn softie so it's about fucking time you take responsibility.

A few days later, he asked you to meet him at your usual spot. A place that only the two of you knew. When he arrived with the boutique, you were already there. You were sitting on the bench, looking over the city.

He quietly stared at you for a while. You were so beautiful sitting there. If angels did exist, you'll be one of them. But then again, your personality was more like a devil. You cast a curse on his heart, and honestly, he didn't mind it. You can curse him for his entire lifetime as long as you accept him.

"Hey, brat. Look behind you."

When you heard the sound of his voice, you quickly turned around. You looked at him and smiled until you noticed the boutique in his hand. You gasped as your eyes widened.

Red chrysanthemum and astilbe. I love you and I will be waiting for you.

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talesofesther · 2 years ago

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deep devotion

Wednesday Addams x Reader

Summary: Over time you came to realize more and more that sometimes Wednesday wears her words like armor. They become almost futile when you learn she speaks through actions.

Requested by anons: Here and here.

A/N: I combined two requests in this story, and I hope you guys like it, even if I feel like I deviated from them a bit. I'm not completely happy with how this story turned out, but it is what it is. Also FYI, there are a few descriptions of blood ahead, and flashbacks are in italics.

Masterlist

There was something morbid about the way the deep red color of blood mixed with the polished wood floor. It trickled down Wednesday's chin in steady droplets, splashing beside her boots in what would be an annoying stain to clean.

At least in that, the raven-haired girl could take some solace. Losing to Bianca had that effect, the one that makes you feel all bad kinds of miserable and enraged. Today especially, because it was one of those few times in which Wednesday allowed her feelings to dictate her actions.

If her labored breathing and the white-knuckled grip she had on her blade were anything to go by, she was fuming with rage. If you were here, you'd notice — this is where Wednesday's mind first goes to and she curses herself for it — but others don't, her face was kept impassive as the blade loudly clanked on the floor, as she stomped the ground with purpose, reaching the door of the fencing class quickly otherwise she'd be breaking one of the significant rules of the school. No killing your classmates.

Wednesday thought she heard the teacher calling, something about going to the infirmary; but the door had already slammed shut behind her, muffling his voice, and when he managed to reach it, she was nowhere to be seen.

She didn't really register where she was going. She just kept walking. The cold wind hit her cheeks when she stepped outside, it was comforting, she felt it on the damp and dried blood now stuck to her alabaster skin.

It was by luck, or maybe misfortune, that her path crossed with yours.

Wednesday saw you before you saw her, the pages of a book holding all of your attention as you slowly walked the stone path outside, between the lunch tables and the trees. Wednesday stopped in her tracks, waiting for the inevitable. She could taste the metallic flavor of blood on the corner of her lip, feel the sting of the recent cut and it kept her grounded.

There was something about you, something about the way the few lonely rays of sun on this cloudy day chose to shine upon the bouncing of your hair. You were all delicacy and warmth as you traced the lines on paper. While Wednesday was nothing short of a midnight moon covered by rain clouds.

That girlfriend of yours is too good for you anyways.

Maybe Bianca wasn't too far off.

"Wednesday!"

Your voice clashed with her thoughts, and before she knew it, you were shoving the book into your bag and had your hands reaching out for her.

Wednesday flinched at the sudden closeness, blinking a couple of times. The air is suddenly heavier, the clouds past the school walls are darkening quickly, it'll rain soon.

You gulped and dropped your hands, fingertips grazing the fabric over Wednesday's forearm. "What happened?" The worry in your voice was evident.

Wednesday didn't like the crease in your eyebrows or that she was the cause of it. She shook her head, strands of her hair — messy from the way she had forcefully taken her mask off earlier — getting stuck to her damp cheek, "nothing happened."

"So that just showed up there?" You deadpanned, eyes glued to her fresh wound, to the dark tone of the skin under her eyes.

"Nothing that requires you to fuss over me." Wednesday set her jaw, very much aware of you sneaking your fingers between hers. She'd never admit to liking it, but deep down she knew she didn't have to. You knew it already, you knew your way around her and it took having it, for Wednesday to understand how much she'd been wanting someone who took the time to understand her.

"I care about you," you spoke softly, somehow looking at her even softer. Raising your free hand, you pushed away the wisps of hair that had been caught in the drying blood. Your touch was all tender, as if she was fragile porcelain. Which was the furthest from the truth. Yet you did it anyway, following the same rhythm your bleeding heart set, pulsing with each beat for her. "There's a difference." You finished, and pulled her along with you.

The door to the infirmary appeared and you walked past it with no second glances, leading Wednesday to your room instead. Her hand gripped yours tighter after that.

You opened your dorm door for her and asked that she sat on your bed. She complied silently while you disappeared into the bathroom, the dark wood creaking under your steps.

Wednesday didn't say anything when you returned with a few damp gauzes and a bandaid. Or when you sat beside her, looking at her in a silent question before holding her jaw with one hand and cleaning the blood with the other; the white cloth became red, and then pink and then it didn't change at all as you cleaned every last bit from her skin, careful to not cause her any pain, eyebrows furrowed as you ever so slowly brushed her cheek.

The antiseptic stung bitterly, yet Wednesday couldn't look away from you even if she wanted to. Subconsciously, as if you were tugging at her heartstrings, she leaned into your touch, her lower lip met your palm when she relaxed. No one had the power to strip her down from her defenses as you did. It scared her, but she was addicted to the thrill of it.

You placed the purple bandaid right over the nasty cut on her cheek, and only then you asked again; "will you tell me what happened?"

Her dark eyes regarded you with caution before she averted her gaze, pulling her cheek away from your touch as it flushed pink. "Fencing class."

"Bianca?"

"She talks too much."

A beat passed in silence, the only sound being the howling wind outside your window preceding the storm. Over time you came to realize more and more that sometimes Wednesday wears her words like armor. They become almost futile when you learn she speaks through actions.

You picked up on it a few nights ago;

"Y/N if you don't turn that down I'll kick you out." Wednesday grumbled, before turning her attention back to her noisy typewriter.

You shared a glance with Enid — who sat beside you on her bed, biting her lip to contain a smile — promptly turning down the volume on your phone.

The night was a cold one, the glow of the half moon shining right outside the big round window cast bursts of color on Enid's side of the room and a soft white light on Wednesday's.

Time went by with you and Enid sharing a few laughs and Wednesday complaining about how you disturbed her peace. However, when Enid ended up sleeping on your shoulder and you squeezed yourself out of her bed to walk back to your dorm, Wednesday got up as well.

She quietly walked to her dark wooded wardrobe, opening its creaking doors to look for something inside. You followed, stopping right beside her to kiss her goodnight.

Wednesday paid you no mind, which made you frown. No matter what, there wasn't a day that came to its end without her lips settled on yours.

You reached out a hand to tug at her hoodie, but before you could, she was throwing a change of comfortable clothes into your face.

You messed up your hair as you pulled the fabric away to look at her. There was this glint in Wednesday's eyes, if you looked closely, you could see the shape of the moon on her irises. She pursed her lips in an almost smile, glancing at the clothes in your arms and then at you again.

Words weren't needed for you to understand, and your heart just about melted.

A few minutes after you exited the bathroom, now dressed comfortably in all black, you joined Wednesday in her bed. It was a tight fit and caused her body to be flush with yours — but you figured she didn't mind it much when she started playing with your hand under the covers.

Next morning you received just about twenty different pictures from Enid, most of them featuring you and Wednesday sleeping soundly, her head partly resting on your shoulder — though the last ones were all shaky, with a furious raven-haired girl reaching for the phone.

And today it's pretty evident that she's on edge, her eyebrows and lips hold a faint, permanent frown; her pupils are blown, yet miles away, as if she's here but her mind is trapped somewhere else.

"yeah, sometimes she does." There's more you want to say and Wednesday could sense it. You nagged on your lower lip as you gained the courage to do so. Her eyes followed the movement.

"Can I do something for you?"

Wednesday's eyes narrowed, her eyebrow twitched as if she was trying to solve a riddle. If you asked instead of just doing it, it was something you weren't sure she'd like. But you'd never given her a reason not to trust you.

She simply nodded, both hands resting on her lap, black nails tapping one another. Her eyes followed you as you moved to sit right behind her, close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating off of you. When she couldn't see you anymore, she searched for something else to focus on, more specifically the grey clouds behind the tiny crack in your window.

When the tip of your fingers touched the end of one of her braids, Wednesday went as stiff as a corpse. She felt it, your touch barely there at first; careful, soft, as though testing tentative waters. Only when she melted the slightest bit toward you, that you started gently undoing the waves on her hair, strand by strand.

There was a lump on Wednesday's throat that she almost couldn't breathe over, goosebumps filled her skin at the same time her body felt too hot to the touch.

Her hair slowly fell in waves, a sea of dark over her shoulders and back as your fingers ran through it, untangling what was left of her braids. It was intimate, almost overwhelmingly so. Wednesday wasn't sure what you were getting at, but it felt a lot like a promise.

Once you were satisfied, you brushed aside her hair to lay your lips on her shoulder. Slowly as your top lip grazed the fabric of her jacket, you kissed her there.

Wednesday felt faint with the way you loved her. The splashes of rain hitting your window got blurred in her sight; she realized you just said to her those three words everyone cares so much about. And now she understands the weight of them.

Wednesday couldn't help but reach for your hand — the one that was gingerly playing with the ends of her curls — cold fingers wrapping around yours as she brought your knuckles to her own lips.

She said them back in the only way she knew how. And when your thumb traced the lines on her palm, she knew you understood.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are very much appreciated. <3

Wednesday’s taglist: @milkiane @bookfrog242 @heelaechan

#wednesday addams x reader #wednesday addams imagine #wednesday addams x fem!reader #wednesday addams #wednesday #wednesday addams x you #wednesdayedit #imagine #fanfic #fluff #angst #wednesday addams fanfic #jenna ortega #wednesday x reader #my story

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oasiswithmyg · 10 months ago

Text

First Meetings

So’lek x Sarentu!Reader

Hi everyone, this is my first fic ever for anything, this will be with AFAB reader in mind and will follow closely to the storyline of the game, so there will be spoilers. As I'm making this a series, each of these can be read as standalones. I hope you enjoy it ! Any Na’vi words or phrases I use, the English translation will be right next to it, if not then it will be at the end of the fic!

Word count: 2.6k

Masterlist - Next

“It's our world, it's lost…dying, because we didn't fight for it when we had a chance. Now we’re fighting for yours. We’re going to make a difference here. Together.” Priya passionately declared as she looked at you sincerely. Then her eyes widened as she remembered something, “Oh! So’lek was hoping to catch you too. Promised him I wouldn't forget. Tell him I didn’t forget !”

You giggled at how cute and bubbly Priya was, out of all the humans here at the resistance base, you liked her cheerful mannerisms a lot. You could tell that she would be a wonderful friend to have. You nodded and thanked her before you head over to find So’lek.

As you slowly walked through the base, your mind had shifted to the recent events that occurred while you and the others were at the TAP facility a day ago. The reason for the shift being a certain resistance Na’vi.

Oel ngati kameie. I see you.

Those were the first words you heard from him when you woke up after the cryo sleep. Even with all the chaos that was going on at the time, you couldn’t help but feel drawn to the Na’vi who seemed to be very straight-forward, blunt and yet understanding of the situation that you and the rest of the Sarentu had faced.

So’lek, he said, was his name (‘what a lovely name’ you had thought) when you asked him while on the run from the RDA, one of the last remaining survivors of his clan. Although, everytime you think of that memory, alone and running from the RDA, you remember the fear of being separated from everyone and wondering if they were safe. After what happened to Aha’ri, you couldn’t stand anyone else being hurt. But So’lek’s voice kept you moving forward and when one of the RDA in the AMP suit caught you, holding you down as that horrible man, Mercer looked down on you, comparing you to your sister, the only thing you wished and hoped for was that So’lek would keep the Sarentu trio safe, as you almost gave up, He came out of nowhere, shooting at the RDA to save you and told you to run.

When you finally got out of the TAP facility, Pandora was nothing like what Mercer or the TAP said it was. They said that it was a terrifying, vicious, and cruel world. However, to your eyes, It was beautiful, the bright sun, the sounds of the creatures and water of the forest. It was like a new world and you couldn’t believe that you spent so long without it all.

As you walked forward, finding So’lek and the others immediately became a priority, when you finally found So’lek, he was hurt, the concern in you washed over like a wave in your chest, he must have gotten injured while protecting you. You knew at that moment that you wanted to protect him as well, taking his bow and using your Na’vi sense that So'lek told you about, made you realize how much you missed out on life, then getting the dapophet plant to heal him and fighting the RDA, gave you a feeling like no other, it made you feel that you can help, that you can be a protector as well.

However, It was when So’lek asked about your songchord, that made your heart flutter. You can still remember the conversation even though it hadn’t been that long.

“You have no songchord.” So’lek said as he got up after repositioning his shoulder, noticing that the Sarentu he seemed to run into a lot was missing a songchord. There was just something different about her, she seemed very caring and yet so strong in spirit, as he could tell as they were on the run from the RDA. “We had my mother’s, but they stole it” Your voice cracked as you said it, the pain of losing both your sister and the songchord, the only piece of your mother left still hurts you to this day.

Hearing that, So’lek felt anger and resentment flare up in his chest. Not only did they kidnap the Sarentu children, kill his clan and hurt the lands of Pandora, they had the audacity to steal something precious from a child as well. He could not explain the feeling in his chest, he wanted to do something for the Sarentu. “Then we must change that” his voice seemed to soften as he said the words and as he questioned, “What is your name Sarentu ?”.

Hearing his voice being gentle brought heat to your cheeks, and more flutterings in your chest, a feeling of happiness seemed to spread through you, “Y/N, my name is Y/N” you looked at him as your name rolled out your mouth in a hurry. Hearing it, So’lek lips curved up a tiny bit, his smile although small was gentle.

The rest went on with him making sure you understood that you must find your own way as you are a Na’vi and by doing so on your own was the way you can learn and then he finally asked you to join the resistance, hearing how he talked about the resistance made you understand why he was in it and you wanted to join them to help other Na’vi, to help save Pandora. After reaching the resistance base and meeting many new human faces, it was a breath of fresh air, they seemed so kind and you could tell that they were sincere in their welcoming and the work that they do here. The only person you still felt a bit weird with was Alma, but you discarded it as it was probably a long time of not seeing each other. She must have felt that she lost all of you after putting you all to cyro sleep.

Seeing the rest of the Sarentu trio free was another happiness that you could not describe, as you saw them as your family. With you being the second to last youngest, you looked up to Ri’nela and Nor a lot, you tried to be there for them as much as possible, to be listening ear or someone they could find comfort in, especially Nor, as he lost his best friend, your big sister. He was the only one that would rebel at the facility, trying to follow Aha’ri’s footsteps. Ri’nela, she became a big sister to you, but was always worried about what would happen if things didn’t go the way TAP wanted. Then there was the youngest, Teylan, he was like a little brother you never had, he would always hold onto your shirt when he felt overwhelmed and sometimes at night when he felt no one would notice, he would sneak into your bed and cuddle wanting to escape whatever nightmares would plague him. It was why you made a very simple doll out of one of the old clothes you had, you gave it to him saying that at times if he couldn’t see you, that he can always hold on to it to know that you’ll always be there for him. The day you gave him that, he hugged you so tightly, he didn’t let go for a long time. But it worried you how much he seemed to praise and think about Mercer.

Then you were given your first mission, take down one of the RDA facilities near the base which was polluting the land, Pneumatic Tower Echo. It felt overwhelming at first but after seeing how the land, your land, the land of Pandora, was ruined because of the RDA, a determination had stirred up in you. It was what made you destroy the RDA facility as soon as possible. In wonder you had seen Eywa had worked in mysterious ways, the land rejuvenated after the facility was destroyed, with creatures from the forest returning to the land, the flora coming back to life. Teylan called you through the radio in worry after hearing the bang, he and the others were at a flower they found. He wanted you to be there with the others so you could check it out, you had hurried over to the group, slowing down as you and the others came closer to the flower, Ri’nela had gasped in wonder, saying how that it was the flower that opens only for the Sarentu, to connect to Eywa, a Tarsyu. You had looked at it in awe, as you could only barely remember seeing the flower when you were a toddler. Finally, pulling your kuru forward, you connected to Eywa and met your ancestor Entu, the first Toruk Makto, with your will renewed, your heart became content and excited at the prospect of learning more and more about what it means to be a Sarentu.

You stopped reminiscing as you finally headed over to the armory where So’lek was at, looking over his gun. For some reason you didn’t think twice when Priya told you that So’lek was looking for you, your feet seemed to have a mind of their own. So’lek ears turned to your direction as he heard your footsteps approach him, he looked up and his lips curved up automatically, he looked proud as he said, “You did well out there”. You felt happy at his words, that you had helped the resistance in some way. As you looked over at him, you felt curious about the weapon in his hand. “Did the humans teach you their weapons too ?” you asked.

So’lek’s eyes became dull at those words, a resentment growing in his chest as his thoughts went to his clan, from when he could last remember them. You wanted to take back the words immediately, not wanting to see his eyes fill with such emptiness ever again. “No, I saw the RDA butcher my clan. Their bullets slicing them to shreds. That was my lesson.” he explained, his voice low and tense as he continued, “I know how it feels to be among the last of your people. The humans…they are like their guns. Brought here to cause pain.”

You took in his words and you honestly agreed to what he exclaimed. Guns and those strange machines just brought more destruction to Pandora, especially the humans who operated them. But you were confused as well, were the humans here at the resistance base not RDA once ? Voicing this concern of yours, he firmly replied in a hurry, “and I will not make it easy for them to forget. They are our allies now, yes. But, this is not their war. They fight for the ghost of their home world. But we fight for our home.” His words made you think about your time spent at TAP. Although the program was to ensure a healthy relation between humans and Na’vi, it never felt like that. It felt like that evil man had won, “In the end, Mercer got what he wanted, he made us into soldiers.” Your hands clenched tightly at your sides, your tail swishing, agitated and just saying it made you frustrated.

So’lek looked at the Sarentu thoughtfully, he could understand her frustration, her pain and sorrow, he could see how much she wanted to change the way things were and he felt like he wanted to help guide her on her journey, to be her helping hand, he could not explain these emotions well. So he advised her, “You are not what they made you. You are Na’vi. You will learn what that means in time. Starting with this,” he pulled something from the back of his gear, it was a songchord, “I made it for you” he passed the songchord to you, looking at it, you could feel the crack in your heart when they had stole your mother’s songchord from you lessen. You held it in your hands gently, as if it was the most precious thing in the world, which probably was as this was the first time someone, other than your sister and mother, ever made anything for you.

“My own songchord, like my mother’s…” you gently noted.

“All Na’vi wear one. It is your life’s journey for the world to see. For you to remember” He explained the significance of the songchords to you.

“Her’s had more beads on it” you exclaimed in a low tone, trying to remember what it looked like when you last saw it, before Mercer had taken it right out of your hands. You tied the songchord that So’lek had given you on your wrist and examined it carefully, noticing a bead on, your eyes looked at him curiously.

“Each bead is a moment of great importance to the wearer. I have put one in place to commemorate your first steps to freedom. Build on it. Build your own memories. Each one, a new song in your heart.” So’lek explained, noting the soft and gentle look grace the Sarentu’s face. This expression was something he hoped to see, to brighten whatever dark clouds that had been swirling in her mind.

You looked at him, hoping to convey your will to him, “I hope we can. Ri’nela really wants to try. To know what it means to be Sarentu. But at the Tarsyu…Nor seemed confused. Upset.” Thinking about it, after your sister's death, Nor took it hard and felt that it was his own fault for her death, that he did not try harder. He always used to listen closely to Aha’ri with you when she would hum the songs or tell stories of the Sarentu.

“Eywa shows us who we are. And who we can be. But she also reminds us of what has been lost. For your people, that is a heavy burden” So’lek said somberly. He then picked up his gun and started inspecting it again. “The back exit is not so exposed, he may be there.” Noting the worry on your face for Nor, he stated. You nodded with a smile at him, you were about to turn and leave when you remembered, “So’lek,” he turned his head to your voice, a slight shiver crawled up his spine at the gentle caress in the way you said his name, he could see your expression and he felt shocked at the way your eyes looked him in gratefulness. “Irayo So’lek. Thank you so much. For saving me and the others. For giving me strength. For making this songchord and the bead, I will treasure it always and I hope that I can show you my journey through it.”

You turned to leave, feeling the heat rush back to your cheeks at the honest words you blurted out to him, your feelings all over the place. However, before you left, you heard him whisper to you, so that only you would hear, “Be safe.” You felt your heart skip a beat as you nodded to him and rushed out of the base in order to search for Nor.

So’lek did not expect the Sarentu to say such heart-felt words, he had to cover his face because it felt slightly heated. He did not understand what he was feeling, as he did not feel the same with the other Sarentu trio as he did with her. Maybe it was her honest and caring nature that made him feel flustered. For now though, he decided to ignore those feelings. He needed to focus on gathering intel about those who killed his clan and defeating the RDA.

Little did either of them know, that in the future that he would not be able to ignore his feelings and that there would be a bead that represents them on her songchord.

∘ Oel ngati kameie - I see you

∘ Irayo - thanks

Thank you if you've read through to the end ! I would greatly appreciate comments on how it was and any tips to further improve my writing.

#so'lek x reader #so'lek #avatar frontiers of pandora #avatar #afop #sarentu #frontiers of pandora #so'lek x na'vi!reader #so'lek x sarentu!reader #so'lek fluff #nor #ri'nela #teylan

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twignotstick · 6 months ago

Text

Flowers for Venus

She's here~ 🩵

Note: This story is based on @cupcakeslushie 's Empyrean Weeping au. These characters are not my own, and this story is in no way canon to the main story. I really made a lot of assumptions here, so this must be emphasized.

Tags: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, ROTTMNT, Venus de Milo (TMNT), NOT MY CHARACTERS, Empyrean Weeping AU, experimentation, mental issues, perspective shifting, intentionally written to be confusing or leave out information at times, they are all family your honor

Warnings (if there's anything I should add here, tell me please!): childhood trauma, abandonment issues, physical violence, repeated mentions of medical(?) procedures

Words: 6,472 🪦

Summary: Venus had one person in her life, and that was what mattered. Until she didn't.

----------------------

“I'm going to fix your body.”

The young turtle gazed up into the glass chamber before him, observing the mangled, underdeveloped, and weak body within. The vitals displayed around it were at acceptable levels; nowhere near as good as needed to survive out of the chamber, but acceptable considering the circumstances.

Not acceptable to the young turtle in front of it.

“You should be out here, learning with me. Being my sister. So I'm going to fix you.”

The turtle within the chamber did not stir- only breathed, as blood was forcefully pumped through its nonfunctional veins.

----------------------

“Huginn and Muninn helped me find more books to help you!”

Three- he had realized that the body in the chamber may not yet know his name, and so he introduced himself not long ago- bounced on the balls of his feet. He had one book clutched close to his chest, with others strewn about the workspace he had made around the chamber.

“Yokai biologists have very interesting methods! I plan on attempting some of them soon- Pops said he is going to get me some more materials before I try. He said that Witch Town will probably have what I need. The fusion of biology and mysticism is incredible! Oh! Oh! And!”

He dropped the book that he was holding on the floor carelessly, tripping over his own feet as he ran over to a table to show the body's closed eyes another. This one was thicker.

“Muninn says that this one was written by a human! ‘Mary Shelley’. It's called ‘Frankenstein’. I believe that's a name too- the surname of the main character. I haven't read it yet, because I haven't had time to. However, maybe with your improved cognitive function as of recently, it could be beneficial for me to read it to you!”

Three got no response, but he could have sworn that a part of the body's brain scan spiked.

“I can't start now. I have to finish my work on the developmental errors in your lower arm, but as soon as I finish that and find what I need to find, I'll start! I'm really curious about human literature.”

Three got to work, as the mind within the chamber grew curious.

----------------------

She didn't quite know what time it was, but she knew what was supposed to happen at this time. The voice was supposed to make noises in the room- Three, that was his name- and he was supposed to talk to her. Her? She thought that sounded right.

Three had told her about pronouns. He had said that since she was biologically female, it was assumed that she would go by she and her. Just like he was male, and went by he and him.

He had said that her name was Five.

Even so, Three liked calling her Vee, justifying it with the reason that they “matched”. Five didn't quite understand where the name came from; perhaps how her name was spelled? F-I-V-E, that was what Three had told her. T-H-R-E-E, that was his. But he spelled Vee as V-E-E. Maybe that's why they matched. Both had two E's in their name.

Their names were numbers too. One, two, three, four, five. She wondered why she was Five, and he was Three. Where were One, Two, and Four? Were they there, but she couldn't hear them? Was Pops another name for One? Pops and One weren't anything alike. She wished she could ask all the questions she had in her mind.

She wished she could see. Maybe that would explain why Three hadn't spoken yet.

Just when she was starting to believe that he may not speak to her this time, Three made noise. She couldn't see, but he stumbled through the door and sat down in a chair near her with a smile on his face. He looked at her, she could feel it.

“I'm sorry I'm home late, Vee. I met a new friend today! But don't tell Pops. He's a human.”

Five knew that word. Weren't those bad?

“Timothy isn't like other humans, though. He's nice! He showed me some insects and told me their names. Surface bugs are very different from normal ones! I think I might ask Huginn and Muninn to retrieve me some books on surface entomology. I can tell them that it's biological research.”

Entomology. That's a big word. What does that mean?

“Entomology means the study of insects, by the way. It's a very interesting branch of science. Timothy said he has books that tell him the names of different insects at his house. Oh, and a house is where humans usually live. Not a lab, like we live in. Or… a glass chamber, like you live in! Though, technically your chamber is within the lab.”

The lab. She wondered what the lab looked like.

“I think that I may be able to replace your eyes soon. I've been developing a prototype, hopefully it shouldn't take me too long to finish! From there, I just have to work really hard to get your other physical errors fixed, and then you can come out here! Maybe I can even bring you to meet Timothy!”

Timothy. That was a nice name. Not as good as Three or Vee, though. They matched. Though, maybe Timothy matched too. She didn't know how to spell Timothy yet.

Maybe they could match anyway.

----------------------

Three stumbled in today. Vee couldn't see it, of course, but Three had tripped, holding in tears. His chest just wouldn't stop hurting. Pops had said he could walk it off, so that is what he tried to do.

He couldn't walk much longer, falling to the floor in front of Vee's chamber. She enjoyed hearing the sound of his breathing, but she never liked it when he breathed this heavily. That meant he was hurt and crying. That meant Pops had done an experiment or a test. That meant Three didn't have the power to work on her body. He would always apologize for that. Of course, that never stopped him. She always heard him working.

“...V-Vee…”

That is her name. He loves to remind her of that.

“M-maybe…” Three gasped deeply, holding the breath for longer than he should before slowly releasing it. “Maybe if… I finish you… he w-won't do this to m-me anymo-ore…”

Vee couldn't feel his eyes on her. Until she could.

“I've shown him y-your guts alr-ready, though… maybe he won't won't w-want to v-vi…vivi…”

That's not how he's supposed to say her name. It's Vee.

“...Vee? Vee~”

That's right.

“Veeveeveevee…”

Is that right?

The mumbling of her name faded away, turning into slow rasping breaths.

She didn't want him to be hurt and crying anymore.

----------------------

“I want to make you as strong as One is. Or, at least, he should be. I haven't met One. Or Two. Or Four. But Pops says that it's impossible for you to be that strong. You're a box turtle, designed for defense. Anyhow, it's more important that I develop your muscle mass enough for you to stand independently first.”

Vee wondered what One, Two, and Four sounded like. Maybe their voices were jumpy and squeaky like Three's was now. Maybe they were sweet, like his was before. She wondered what Pops sounded like.

“Four is a box turtle like you. He developed properly, but don't feel bad! He got stolen away, so really, he got the short end of the stick! You're living the life of luxury.”

So many types of turtle. Did that mean they couldn't match anymore?

“I showed Timothy some sketches of my work with you. He got this really weird look on his face, and I thought he might not believe that I could fix you. But, he promised that he did believe in me! And he said he can't wait to meet you!”

Surely, he was just jealous of Three's hard work.

“I'm still working on your eyes. They're causing me more problems than I thought they would, but I think I'm getting closer to a functional product! It's just taking a while to find a good base that can survive the transfer.”

Eyes. One more sense. He taught her the five: touch, taste, sight, smell, and hearing. She had hearing- or at least, she believed she did. She didn't know what else this could be. To have two senses would be marvelous.

Three's voice went away, leaving a rubbing sound. He had told her what that was. It meant he was “rubbing his hands together”. It was a “nervous habit”.

“Pops told me… he told me that talking to you was ‘fueling my delusion’. I know that, logically, you're comatose. Your body isn't supposed to work right now, for the sake of your life.”

That made sense. She was hurt. Three said that if she came out of her coma as she was now, she would die. Dying wasn't a good thing.

“But I really want you to hear me. Even subconsciously. So- so that way, when you do wake up, we'll already be friends! A-and you'll already know so much about me, so I just need to know about you!”

That sounded nice. Vee wanted to tell him about herself. Maybe she'd know just what that meant by the time she got the chance.

“I promise I'm going to fix you soon. It'll be no problem!”

Vee liked that.

----------------------

Three was hurt and crying again. But this time, he didn't come to collapse by her chamber. He was far away, in the workspace. Vee didn't want him to be hurt and crying anymore. Three had said that hurt could mean dying. Three couldn't die yet. Vee still had to tell him everything about herself.

He wasn't even saying her name this time. He was saying the human's. He was hard to hear, so quiet, so far.

Timothy.

I'm sorry, Timothy.

What does that mean?

I'm so, so sorry.

What does that mean, Three?

Please, Tim.

Three?

Please forgive me.

I'm sorry.

I'm so, so sorry.

Three?

Three, please. She wants to understand. She wants to know you.

I want to know you. Talk to me, please. Tell me everything. Tell me about Mary Shelley. Tell me about entomology. Tell me about One. Tell me about Two. Tell me about Four. Tell me about Pops. Tell me what you're working on. Tell me how you want me to be better already so I can hold your hand and talk back. Let me hold your hand.

Tell me what's wrong.

“---ee? Vee, I'm ---y, I'm here, plea--- calm down. I'm here, please. Do I need- do I need to sedate her? I-”

He's not crying anymore. He's talking to her.

“Vee? Five?”

That's right.

“Should I read to you? W-Would you like that?”

She would.

“P-progress report 13. May 23rd. It happened today. Algernon bit me.”

Flowers for Algernon. Surface literature. Of course he would read surface literature now. He was just thinking of Timothy.

Every time Three would read this specific story to her, he would explain that the first few progress reports were intentionally written with poor spelling and grammar. He would spend the whole time explaining the correct way to write the sentences, up until the writing became legible. Then, when the writing returned to its sorry state, he would resume his corrections.

“I visited the lab to see him as I do occasionally, and when I took him out of his cage, he snapped at my hand.”

Vee knew the end of this story.

“I put him back and watched him for a while. He was unusually disturbed and vicious.”

It never ended nicely. They always had to die.

“May 24th. Burt, who is in charge of the experimental animals, tells me that Algernon is changing.”

She didn't want anyone else to die.

----------------------

Something was different. Where once there was a lack of anything, now there was something. Something Vee didn't have the knowledge to understand just yet. She couldn't understand light. She couldn't understand color. Now, it was right in front of her.

A blur of a color she didn't know the name of, green, with a dash of another, purple. Three's voice came from it.

“Eyelids are open. Should be working. Just one last test-”

Three grabbed a small blur- a silver flashlight- and shined it into her eyes. Her muscles instinctively tried to close her eyelids, but there just wasn't enough power behind it. They stayed open enough for Three to see the pupils constrict.

“Yes. Yes! YES! They work! Yes!”

Three sounded happy. That was good. Maybe he looked happy, too. Vee didn't know what happy looked like yet.

“...I have to show Pops. I have to show Pops! Wait! Stay right there!”

Three left the room, and Vee thought deeply. “They work”. Three had said that her eyes “didn't work yet” before. So that must mean that they work now. That meant that she was seeing. This was what she had been looking forward to ever since Three had attempted to explain the abstract concept of seeing.

This was it.

Those colors. The nameless ones that she didn't know- the ones she didn't even know how to identify as colors- that was Three. That was the face of the voice who had been her only comfort for all of time. That was the face of the person she wanted to comfort. The voice that she heard crying and hurting. The person she wanted to hold the hand of.

The door to the room opened again, and Three returned with a taller figure. Vee had never heard him before, she was sure of that when he got close for her to hear his breathing. Maybe she could have seen him before. He was tall, and covered with new colors. She couldn't name them, but they were gold, blue, and magenta.

“Look! Look! Her eyes are functional now! They constrict and dilate! Watch!”

Three held the light to her eyes once more, and her pupils shrank again.

The new voice only grunted.

“She's so close to completion now! Th-there are only a few more developmental errors, and she just needs a little more muscle mass-”

The tall figure lashed out at Three, as another color, magenta and pink, writhing, latched around Three's throat. He was held off the floor, just a few feet. His happy breathing stopped.

“You have obsessed over this project for too long. Your progress has been agonizingly slow, and this is what you have to show for it?”

A new voice. Deeper. More menacing.

Pops.

Three gasped for air, trying to respond.

“I suppose I must also involve myself. Your inefficiency up to this point will not be forgotten.”

The writhing mass slammed Three into the floor as the tall figure walked away, shutting the door behind himself.

Three heaved shaky breaths from his spot in front of Vee's chamber. He almost sounded like he was crying and hurting.

Was this what crying and hurting looked like? Curling over yourself? Was that what she was doing? She was supposed to be hurting. She didn't think she was crying, though. Could you hurt and not cry?

Could you cry and not hurt?

Three moved onto his knees, placing one hand on the glass. His face looked different, as if the light reflected off of it differently. His eyes looked at her. For the first time, she could feel and see it.

“I'm going to get you out soon. Then… then you can be here with me. And Pops will be proud. And I'll have you, my sister. Forever, and ever, and ever. And no one will take you from me.”

Three smiled, leaning against the glass and falling asleep.

That sounded nice.

-----------🕷️-----------

“What is this?”

Vee stood over Three at his workbench, looking down at the sketch he was working on. It looked familiar, like other ones he had made, but the notes around the margins were different.

“Oh, it's another collar for Big Mama. She has someone joining the Nexus who has some immunity to electricity, so I have to work on an alternative design…”

“How does it work?”

Three looked up at Vee as she smiled softly. She loved doing this. Getting him talking about the things he knew about.

“Okay, well, since the regular electric shock won't result in what we're going for, I have to find another method of keeping the fighter in line. So- so this collar is designed to tap straight into the nerves in the neck- focusing mainly on the more secondary nerves, but also creating a pathway to the spinal column if needed. With this, the nerves can be pinched all at once, effectively paralyzing the wearer!”

Vee looked over the sketch, resting a hand on the desk next to it. “And why is this collar shaped so differently?”

Three brightened again. “Oh, well, for one, to create a visual distinction that makes it easier for Big Mama to know what type of collar it is. But also, because the specific yokai has… no neck? Sort of? They have shoulders, but it would be somewhat easy for them to slip a standard collar off. So, alternative design! And this one can be green.”

“Very good. I'm sure Mother would appreciate the change in aesthetic.”

The stone in her pocket began to glow.

“Speak of the Devil, I suppose.”

Five slipped her mask on quickly, then answered the call. “Hello, Mother.”

“Turtley-boo! Hello! Where are you, my dear? I couldn't find you!”

“I had to deliver this week's recording to Three. I'll be returning home shortly.”

“I would hope so! Everything here is always such a tissy-tassle when you're over at that terrible place. Oh, do come home quickly, please. Your mama is getting lonely.”

Vee looked to Three, and they exchanged a soft look, even behind Vee's emotionless mask. “I'll be there in a moment, Mother.”

----------------------

This was wrong.

This was all wrong.

She was supposed to be worried about being taken from him.

What could she do, now that he was taken from her?

Four was gone. Then Two was gone. Vee thought, surely Three wouldn't be that dumb. Three was smart. He cared about her. He wouldn't leave her.

So where was he now? On the surface, living with rats and humans.

And she was left behind. Stuck under the thumb of a spider that claimed to be her mother. Forced to witness the violent aftermath that had come when Three disappeared, as Lord Draxum berated her and her mother for letting Three get such delusional thoughts in his head. Ideas that made him weak and stupid. Hopes that his family cared for him.

But he left his family, didn't he?

She was supposed to be his sister.

And he left, in search of a family that didn't even know his name. His face. His voice. That voice was supposed to be hers. The one who took care of her. The one that fixed her.

Draxum may have caused her birth, but Three gave her life.

Didn't that matter to him?

She had been so scared of being taken from him, Vee didn't even consider the idea that he may be taken from her.

Fighting against him was something from her worst nightmares.

This couldn't be happening.

This was all wrong.

----------------------

Empty apologies.

He left, all because of a stupid dream he had been chasing. He left the family he had because of some dumb idea of a family that he had romanticized in his head. He left her.

Maybe he never cared about her anyway. She was just a toy to pass the time.

She wasn't real, anyway. Just a monstrous body given life.

----------------------

“Hi, Vee!”

Four approached her, sitting down cross legged on the floor beside her. He examined the blade she had been sharpening with an odd fascination.

“Where'd you get that?” He asked innocently.

“From Mother.”

Four straightened. “O-oh. Guess I shoulda… guessed that, huh?”

“Maybe.” Of course he should have. Who wouldn't recognize one of Big Mama's weapons?

“Hmm…” Four rocked back and forth, holding his feet. “Do you feel alright with me calling you Vee? I know that's what Donnie calls you, but I know he has like… a thing with names.”

“I’m Five,” she said bluntly, looking up at Four for a moment. “But I don't mind being called Vee.”

“Cool!” Four smiled, almost as sweetly as she remembered Three doing. “What's it short for?”

Vee paused and looked back up at Four. “Sorry?”

Four blinked. “...Vee. What's it short for?”

She squinted. “It stands for the roman numeral for Five. It isn't ‘short’ for anything.”

“Oh. Well, that's not right.” Four shook his head disapprovingly. “You need to match with us!”

That made Vee think. “Match?”

“Yeah!” Four shifted to sit on his knees. “See, cause I'm called Mikey. That's short for Michelangelo. He was a human artist in the Renaissance. And Raph is Raph, short for Raphael. And Leo is Leo, short for Leonardo. And Donnie is Donnie, short for Donatello!”

Vee put her blade down on the ground, giving Mikey all of her attention. “So they match because they're all artists?”

“Well, and since they're from the Renaissance, and since we've all got nicknames!” Mikey grinned. “Do you… want a name that matches with ours?”

“Yes.” Vee answered before she could really think about what she was saying. “I-I mean, I don't really need one, but-”

“Sweet!” Mikey patted his hands on the ground. “Now, what names could work… Genevieve? No, that would be Jenny… Vivian? Nah, that's not good enough. Oh!”

“What?”

“Well, I know all of our names are from artists, but, uh, what if your name was from a piece of art?”

Vee thought for a moment. It was certainly true that she wasn't like the other turtles. Obviously, her name would have to reflect that.

Though, maybe being a work of art wouldn't be so bad.

“Sure. But tell me the name before I agree to anything.”

Mikey's expression suddenly shifted to a more serious one. “Of course. How about… Venus de Milo?”

Venus de Milo.

“...what is it?”

“It's a statue from ancient Greece. She sorta got her arms ripped off, but she's still incredibly beautiful and detailed, and a very widely known masterpiece! Wait, lemme see if I've got internet-”

Mikey fumbled with his phone, desperately trying to gather some internet signal in the depths of the Hidden City. Meanwhile, Vee simmered in the thought. A statue, broken, never to be truly as it was before. And yet, it was beautiful, not just because of what it still had, but because it had lost. It had persevered. Because something so beautiful was never truly perfect. That was what allowed it to be beautiful instead.

Maybe that beauty made it perfect, anyway.

“I like it.”

Mikey's eyes flitted up from his hunch over his phone. “Oh? Great!” He corrected his posture. “How ‘bout you try it out? Introduce yourself to me!”

Vee cleared her throat, checking her own posture out of habit. “Hello, Michelangelo. My name is Venus de Milo. You may call me Vee.” She extended her hand for a handshake. Mikey met it vehemently.

“Perfect! Now, you match with all of us! Man, the teamwork and collaboration on this mission is gonna be on point!”

Venus smiled, turning the interaction around in her head.

Maybe she could be a masterpiece.

----------------------

Donnie loved to talk. Vee always knew that. But, for too long, she had never noticed how much he loved to be listened to; to have another directly engaging in the conversation. Once she learned that, she learned that she had a love for listening.

It was sometimes hard for her to understand her own wants without comparing them to the wants of others. She loved to listen because Donnie loved to talk. She loved to spar because that made Raph happy. She loved to ask questions so Leo could explain the nonsensical movies he showed her. She loved to eat because Mikey loved to cook.

But right now, none of that really mattered. Donnie was talking, and Vee loved to listen.

“Splinter told me that I could make him, as long as I make sure he doesn't turn, like, evil or anything. Though, honestly, if a robot uprising were to happen, I think it would be smart to just accept fate.”

Donnie was cleaning up some sort of schematic on a bean bag as a movie played on the TV. Vee sat next to him, not paying attention to the film at all. Screams about hot food went in one ear and out the other.

“So these are the plans you have so far?”

“Exactly!” Donnie brightened, then slumped as he came to a realization. “He's actually based on a design I made before you got out of your chamber. P-... Draxum destroyed that one, though.”

“Oh.” Vee slumped a bit as well. “I wish I could have seen it. Maybe I'd be more helpful now with these designs.”

“Uh, y-you don't have to worry about it!” Donnie waved his arms frantically. “It was my fault you were stuck in there anyway.”

“No it wasn't.” Vee looked at him blankly. “It was Lord Draxum's fault. He made me faulty. You helped me. You fixed my body.”

Donnie flustered, scratching at his neck. “W-well, not really. I didn't even-”

“You gave me my eyes. You gave me purpose.”

He looked at his sister, hands shaking almost invisibly where they gripped his sketching paper. Something strange came to his eyes- a shimmer, one that she knew. “I-I'm-”

“If you say you're sorry one more time, I might just rip your tongue out.”

“But I am! In more words than I can say, I am! You cared about me so much, and I just left you without a second thought. No apology I can give can ever make up for that.”

Vee sighed, shaking her head, looking at Donnie with tired eyes. “You're right.”

Donnie's nervous energy evaporated and he stilled.

“No apology will ever be enough. When you apologized to me, I didn't forgive you. When you apologized to me, I hated you.”

Venus paused, questioning whether or not she should continue. When Donnie gave no reaction, she decided to.

“When you tried to explain what had happened, I hated you. When you asked for my help, invited me in, told me you wanted me back, I hated you.”

Genuine tears started to well up in custom built eyes.

“B-because… because I couldn't believe you. You left me, and that was what was real. That was what mattered.”

Donnie took a breath in, as if to add something, but ultimately decided against it.

“Part of me still doesn't believe you.”

Months of worrying. Months of waiting. Months of simmering in hatred for the one person she had convinced herself she could trust. Months of wondering, “Would he have stayed if I had been better?” Months of unbridled rage towards her creator, who couldn't have waited just a little longer to make her right. Months thinking of her other so called “brothers” who stole her brother away.

He said no one could take her from him. So why would he throw her away?

“But you showed me otherwise.”

She never knew how to put these things into words. There was something difficult about bringing her thoughts out in that way. Because of this, she could never really tell Donnie how it felt when he first showed her that room he had prepared, which he left mostly empty for her to decorate herself. She could never explain how it felt when Splinter traced her stitches, complimenting how wonderfully they framed her features. She could never properly thank Raph for expressing his admiration for her fighting style. She couldn't express the joy she felt when she saw Leo do something that would make him feel embarrassed hours later. She could never say anything more than “It’s great” when eating one of Mikey's meals, one that should make a food critic cry.

“So you don't need to apologize anymore. You showed me how you cared, and that's all that matters now.”

Vee grabbed Donnie's hand, and the two shared a wordless understanding.

You can cry and not hurt.

----------------------

Vee woke up to the sound of someone else moving around the lair. All of her brothers were still covered in blankets around her, and a blank tarp hung on the wall stood in front of her that she vaguely remembered watching a projected video essay on before she fell into slumber. There was only one person missing from the scene…

As she pushed herself to her feet and walked into the hall, Vee came face to face with a still bonnet wearing April.

“Oh, morning, Vee!” April greeted energetically. “What're you doing up already?”

“This is a normal time to wake up, isn't it? You're awake.”

April hummed. “I guess you're right. I'm just used to the guys sleeping in super late. You hungry?”

Vee nodded, following April silently into the kitchen. Just a short time ago, she would have wanted to cut April's head off, purely because of her human existence. Now, she felt a strange, foreign comfort around the human. Not quite like she felt with her brother, or her other brothers, but something akin to it.

April started loading up the toaster, grabbing some spreads and setting them out on the counter.

“Got any plans today, Miss Milo?”

Vee chuckled. “It's Miss de Milo, and, uh, no. You got any plans, Miss Neil?”

April laughed in turn. “Actually, I do. And since you don't have any, I was hoping you might help me out with mine.”

Vee nodded, letting her continue.

“I brought some stuff from my place to do a spa day, slash makeover day. Figured you might want to join in.”

Vee thought for a moment. “I know what a spa day is, but what is a ‘makeover’?”

“Well, it's like,” she hesitated, “it's when you put on a ton of makeup and wear fancy clothes and stuff. Not because you're not pretty, but it's just… it's a way of making yourself feel good, y'know? You've worn makeup before, right?”

“No.” Vee shrank slightly. “Mother said that it would be a lost cause. That's why she gave me the mask instead.”

“Oh.” April shook her head, scrunching her nose. “Oh, no, no. That's not gonna work. You are going to be pampered, Miss de Milo. That is an order.”

April strode out of the kitchen, and Vee followed slowly behind. Before she could see where April had gone, there was the telltale sound of a pillow being thrown into someone's face.

“Owf- wha- hey! What was that for?” Leo grumbled through the grogginess of waking up.

“We've got a busy day ahead, boys! Gotta eat breakfast so we can get to work!”

“Busy day?” Mikey asked, slightly more cognizant than Leo. “What are we doing?”

“Makeovers. All of us!”

Vee finally caught sight of April in the hallway of the living room as she saw Donnie jumping up from where he was laying. “Are we gonna do nails?!” He shouted excitedly, running up in front of April. “Can I pick the colors?”

“Of course you can, bud. Just go eat some toast first,” April responded, patting his shoulder.

Donnie hurried to the kitchen followed by his brothers, who were all still wiping the sleep from their eyes. After that, breakfast went quickly.

Raph drug a stool into the bathroom in front of the mirror, where Vee was instructed to sit. Soon, she was surrounded by her brothers and April, with a large makeup bag in the human's hands. She put the bag down on the counter, taking out a liquid foundation in the perfect hue for Vee's skin.

“Where do you even find this stuff? Party City?” Leo asked, taking out another foundation from the bag that matched his own skin.

“No,” April scoffed, preparing her workspace, “I get it online. Its makeup, not face paint. It just happens to be green. Are you complaining?”

“No, ma'am.” Leo quickly shut himself up.

“Good. Now, let's get some jobs set straight.” April started gesturing to the brothers one by one. “Donnie, you're in charge of picking colors out, and themes. Mike, you're executing Donnie's ideas, because his hands are way too shaky. Raph, my bag's in the other room, go pick something out. You'll know what I mean when you get there. And Leo, you're in charge of music and talking. Tea spilling, gossip, whatever.”

All of the turtles nodded in response, and Raph walked out to find April's bag.

“Now, Vee.” April put her hands on Vee's shoulders, looking her straight in the eyes. “You just sit here, close your eyes, and relax. We've got it all handled.”

“Okay.” Vee hesitated, closing her eyes slowly, before shooting them open again. “Wait!”

April hummed, hovering the makeup sponge she had prepared in the air.

“Can you, uh… can you leave my stitches? Not cover them up, I mean.” She couldn't help casting a glance at Donnie, who gave a timid smile.

April relaxed. “Course, Vee. Now, close your eyes and let us work our magic!”

Vee complied, and she found herself surrounded by sounds. A strange nostalgia filled her chest.

“What we thinking, D?”

“How about, uh… this?”

“Ooo! Perfect! Can I get, uh… that one first?... Thanks! Okay Vee, I'm gonna grab your hand now. It's gonna be cold!”

“What am I supposed to even talk about? I don't have any tea.”

No need for sight. Hearing those voices, comforting her. With a slight drone of music alongside.

“How about your date with Usagi?”

“Wh- April! It wasn't a date!”

“Hey! No shoving! This is a delicate art, Leo!”

“Ugh, fine.” Another shove.

“Hey! No shoving me either! I didn't even say anything!”

“Yeah, but April's busy, Mikey's busy, and you gave me a weird look.”

“I gave you a normal look. You obviously went on a date. Vee, you know?”

Vee laughed just a bit, trying not to move and disturb April's work. “Donnie's right. It was pretty clearly a date.”

“No, it wasn't!”

“Just tell us what you did, Leo.”

Unlike before, she had other senses. But somehow, removing this one made her feel comfortable. Knowing that someone else was taking care of her felt so good.

When she felt Donnie's scar covered, calloused hand grab onto hers, the comfort felt warmer.

“We didn't even-”

“Hey, April? How's this one?”

“I think it's great, but how ‘bout you ask Mister Manicure?”

“Oh. Mike?”

“That's perfect, Raph! You got any accessories?”

“Maybe in my room… lemme go check.”

The sound of heavy footfalls walking away.

“Alright, I'm gonna be working on your eyelids, so it's gonna feel a little weird. Just try to stay loose.”

“Ooo, you are gonna look so good!”

Vee allowed the sound to envelop her entirely.

“Listen, we didn't go on a date, we aren't even a thing anyways.”

“I'm going to fix your body.”

“Usagi would be very hurt it he heard that. You wanna tell him, D?”

“You should be out here, learning with me.”

“I can text him right away-”

“NO!”

“Being my sister.”

“Just admit it, Leo! You're down bad for the bunny!”

“He still hasn't admitted that?”

“No, Raph! Because I'm not ‘down bad’!”

“So I'm going to fix you.”

“Okay, keep the volume down. I gotta concentrate…”

Time passed shapelessly. Vee interacted in the conversation when asked, but otherwise, she let the noise flow over herself. Before she knew it, she was being told to stand up and having fabric pulled onto her arms, with a ribbon being tied over her shell.

“Okay, okay, just a few more touches-”

“You've been doing ‘a few more touches’ for five minutes, Donnie. She looks great!”

“SHH! Don't rush perfection, Nardo.”

Vee blushed. “You really think I look perfect?”

She felt Donnie's eyes on her. “You always have.”

Mikey awed. “Okay, okay, okay, now you can look!”

Vee opened her eyes, just as Donnie moved to the side so she could see herself in the mirror. She saw that the fabric put on her was a dress, very light blue and with flowery embroidery patterning on the bottom of the knee-length skirt. Her claws were painted with pastel colors, with a light blue backdrop behind white daisies, each having an undertone of a different color: reddish-pink, blue, orange, purple, yellow, and green. On her face, a soft blue eyeshadow was put on her eyelids, with small painted daisies incorporated into her eyeliner. Similar flowery bows were placed down the length of her braided mask tails. Donnie quickly shuffled behind her to put a necklace on her neck, with a daisy shaped pendant.

Vee found herself speechless, staring at the stranger that had been pulled out of her own skin.

“Is it alright?” April asked hesitantly.

As she rubbed her lips together, Vee forced herself to look up at the ceiling. She waved her hands at her face.

“Oh- Oh! Its waterproof! You're good!”

“It is?!” Vee squeaked, struggling to hold herself together.

“Yeah, yeah, it is!”

“That's s-so cool!” Vee finally let her tears loose, still waving at her face while nervously laughing.

“You like it? Do you like the flowers? It was Donnie's idea!” Mikey asked, beaming as bright as the sun.

“Yes! Yes, I do, thank you!” Vee paused in her flapping to look over her hands again, and the dress, and her face.

Her flowers.

When she looked to Donnie, he looked as if he couldn't be happier.

“Well that's good, cause they cost me my dignity,” Leo groaned, despite the smirk on his face. “By the way, I call next.”

April patted his shell. “Alright, Leo. We'll make you pretty so you can look good for Usagi.”

“Great, because I- Wait! HEY!”

Vee was laughing loudly now, wiping her tears delicately with a single finger. The argument slowly turned back into background noise, as Leo sat on the stool instead, squabbling far too much for April's liking. Donnie recruited Vee for color picking and inspiration searching.

And so Vee let herself exist there, not worrying about mattering or being wanted. Not worrying about if the one she cared about was hurt or crying. Not longing for another sense to experience the world with. Not questioning if she may be taken away for good. Not asking if she really had a family. Not wondering if she did something wrong, or if she even had the right to call herself alive. Not waiting for someone to talk to her.

She had her flowers, and words could never compare.

○●○●○●○

Finally, she is here. I went a little wild on this. There are just so many parts of Vee's story that I can't wait to see. She's my little brainworm 💖

I'm glad that I can get this out before the @tmntaucompetition ends, especially since EW is in the finale. Go vote for them!!! I love them so dearly :)

I'm going to edit the first chapter of my own iteration, (currently titled Second Shot), and post that soon. I simply must get my boys out into the world, especially after discovering @dluebirb's TMNT AU family reunion. Lord knows they need friends.

GO VOTE IN THE TMNT AU COMP! AAH!

Broken Brothers (and How to Fix Them)

#tmnt #tmnt au #rottmnt #tmnt fanfiction #teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rottmnt #unpause rottmnt #tmnt au propaganda #tmnt separated au #fanfiction #fanfic #twig writes

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forever-rogue · 2 years ago

Note

hey :) i recently discovered your blog and read your joel fics. let me just say that i love how you portray him, it feels so genuine. i haven’t seen any request guideline or anything but i thought i could still send one. feel free to turn it down or change it tho.

what about joel being in a relationship with a much younger reader and he’s a bit insecure. he knows he’s old, he has scars all over his body and rough hands, etc…and she’s pretty much the opposite. it results in him just avoiding her a bit (if he has to change a shirt, he’ll make sure she is nowhere near for example) but one time he gets hurt and she refuses to let him “handle it”. quickly, she realizes how he can’t look at her, how ashamed he seems to be when he has to undress for her to look at the wound. he ends up admitting how he feels (in a very joel way but still) and she just shakes her head and shows him how much she loves him (nothing sexual though but maybe she kisses his scars and tells him she adores all those little “flaws” he sees)

hope this is okay, thanks :)

AN | This turned out pretty soft, but I hope like it 🥺

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language, Injury [non-graphic, but mentions blood]

Word Count | 3.2k

Masterlist | Joel, Main

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You liked Joel. You really liked him. Even despite the differences between the two of you, which seemed so vast at times, and despite what people had said about your relationship in the beginning.

But there was always this sort of divide. You couldn't quite pinpoint it but it was always there. And you wished you could break it down, bit by bit just like you had done with so many other things. He didn't seem to want to let you in, no matter how much time you spent with him. In the end, you decided not to push it; if it happened it would happen. Otherwise you would just love him as best as you could, show him just how much he meant to you with everything you had.

You loved him, just as he was, and that was all that mattered.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was a late night that found you in your bed in Jackson all by yourself. It was winter, and it was cold; normally you could rely on Joel to be your personal heater but he was gone. You weren’t quite desperate enough to get up and turn on the heating, so instead you bundled up in a horde of blankets. You hoped that Ellie was warm enough but you knew that she would speak up if she was cold.

You grabbed the pillow that Joel normally used, the one that always smelled like him, and hugged it to your chest. It almost made it seem like he was here…almost.

But before you could manage to fall asleep and dream of him, the real Joel stumbled his way into the bedroom. You sat up with a start, immediately turning on the like on the bedside table, rubbing the bleariness from your eyes, “Joel?”

He grunted in response, still half hidden by the darkness of the night. But you knew him well enough to know that something was off. You slid out of the bed and walked over to him, mind already reeling with the hundreds of possibilities of what could have been wrong. When you were finally able to take a look at him, your heart dropped into your stomach.

“Joel,” he looked at you, but you could tell he wasn’t quite there. The entire right side of his shirt was bloodied and you immediately knew that it was his blood; that idea made your stomach churn, “what happened?!”

“I’m fine,” he lied, waving his hand to try and brush you off. But you were having absolutely none of it, “just need a minute."

"You're not fine," you shook your head and reached for the hand on his uninjured side but he immediately flinched out of your reach, "Joel. Don't lie to me and say you're fine! You're hurt!"

"I can handle it," his answer came out in a hiss as he sat down at the edge of the bed, "I don't need you."

You recoiled for a moment, taken aback by his words and tone. But you quickly got over it when you realized it wasn't really him. He was injured and hurting…you really couldn't blame him.

"I don't want you to just handle it," you crouched in front of him, attempting in vain to try and get him to look at you. He refused; his dark gaze fell anywhere but on you, "you don't always have to do things alone, Joel. I'm here for you, I l-"

"Don't," he stiffened as you sighed softly. He hadn't let you say those words to him yet. He'd never said them to you either. It wasn't really a big deal to you; he showed you his love in so many other ways, through everything he did. But right now, you thought he might just need to hear it, "get out."

"What?" Your eyes widened in hurt and you felt tears start to well up and prickle at the back of your eyes. He'd never once been so harsh before.

"Please," he sighed as you stood up and studied him, "just get out for right now."

"Listen," your hands were on your hips in a position that mirrored the one he often pulled, "I know this is hard for you, letting someone else in. And I respect and am trying to understand your boundaries but you don't always have to push me away when things happen. I'm not going anywhere, I hope you would know that by now. You're my partner in every meaning of the word and I would never leave you. I want to be there for you, but I don't if you don't want me to be. So, I'll listen to you and I'll leave. But if you decide you need me, you know where I'll be."

He half expected you to go out and slam the door, but you didn't. Instead you walked slowly, shutting the door with as much grace as ever as he listened to you walk downstairs to the spare bedroom. Bereft of any logical thought, a heavy sigh escaped him. It would have been easier if you'd been mad and yelled, but instead you were kind as normal. He hated that - hated himself in that moment because it made him realize just how deeply he hurt you.

He got up and locked the door before hesitantly peeling off his shirt to try and tend to his wounds. He was almost glad they hurt…it was the least he deserved.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

As soon as you stepped foot into the spare room, you let the tears you'd been holding in roll down your cheeks, trying to keep your cries quiet. You didn't want Ellie to hear and you certainly didn't need Joel to hear you either.

You crawled into bed but found no comfort in it, finding it too hard, too cold, too empty. You were half tempted to go back to Joel and make him accept your help, but that wouldn't do anything helpful.

Instead you grabbed the extra pillow and hugged it to your chest, saddened when you realized it didn't smell like him. After you'd cried yourself out, you fell into a dreamless sleep. It was decidedly better than the alternative.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You weren't sure how long you'd been sleeping before you heard the door creak open. Being a light sleeper was both a blessing and a curse. You thought that maybe it was Ellie needing something so you didn't think anything of it.

"Hey Ellie Bean, what's up?" you peeked an eye open as you blindly reached for the light switch. But when you turned it on and revealed your new guest, you made a soul sound of surprise, "Joel?"

"I'm sorry," he choked out, still standing in the doorway, unsure if he should stay or go, "I'm so sorry."

"Oh, my love," you threw the blankets back and slid out of bed, to walk to him. When you stood in front of him, his expression grew nervous, his eyes wide and worried. You reached up and touched his face, brushing your thumb over his cheek, "c'mere."

You took his hand and pulled him towards the bathroom, no hesitation whatsoever. Joel inhaled deeply but followed you; he would always follow you.

You flicked on the bright, blinding light and motioned for him to sit on the toilet. He silently did as you wished and waited to see what you'd do next. God, he really just wished you'd be mad at him. He deserved it - at least in his mind.

You kneeled in front of him and studied him. His eyes were glossy, his face pale save for the dark circles under his eyes. His shirt was stained with dried and fresh blood, knuckles on his right hand busted. You swallowed thickly, but tried to keep it together.

From under the sink, you grabbed the antiseptic and bandages and other supplies, setting them in front of you wordlessly. No words needed to be exchanged and he didn't flinch away when you reached for his hand. He momentarily marveled at how much smaller your hands looked in his.

Joel watched as you cleaned his wounds, gentle and tender in your actions. You were his saving grace without a doubt.

"There we are," you finished bandaging his hand before setting back on his thigh. Your eyes flicked to his side and you realized you weren't sure what to do. In the end, your worry for him outweighed anything else. You touched the hem of his shirt and met his eyes, "may I?"

He looked away for a moment, hesitating and torn. But ultimately he knew what he should - and really wanted to - do, "yes. I trust you."

"Okay," you choked up for a moment but that was a worry for later, "okay."

You took the hem of his shirt in your hands and slowly pulled it up, almost jumping when his fingers brushed against yours as he took over and tugged off his shirt, throwing into the tub so the blood wouldn't stain anything.

He was half waiting for you to say something or just to walk out, but you didn't. Of course you didn't. Deep down he knew that.

While he was having his existential crisis, you were assessing the damage. Luckily it didn't seem to be too bad, more superficial than anything but you still hated seeing him hurt. You tutted softly as you grabbed a clean rag and started to wipe away all the blood. Even despite your gentle touch, you could tell it was hurting him.

"Almost done," you promised, taking your time to get everything all cleaned up and covered, humming softly under your breath. It was a habit he'd noticed a while ago and for some reason it always made him feel safe. When you were finished, you looked over the rest of his torso. Joel could feel you looking at him, "all better. Well, you're patched up but it'll take a bit to heal. I'll keep an eye on it, okay?"

You stood up and stretched, your back stiff from kneeling on the tile floor. You still weren't sure where you stood with him so you decided to go back to the guest room.

"Good night, Joel," you didn't give him a chance to say anything else before walking out of the room. Whatever happened next would be up to him.

Fortunately you didn't have to wait long for an answer.

Once you got settled back into bed, it was only a few minutes until you heard him come back. You hadn't closed the door all the way so he could easily push it open. You didn't roll over to face him, instead you let him come to you, let him gingerly slide into the bed behind you.

He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you into his chest, curling around your body. You relaxed - your heart felt relaxed - as you allowed yourself to melt into him, putting your hand on top of his.

Neither of you spoke, but you felt him press a kiss to your shoulder.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When you woke up again, hours later with the sunlight softly streaming in through the window, you found yourself tangled up with Joel. It felt good to have him next to you.

He had some more color to his face and you couldn't help but brush some of the rogue locks out of his face. You ghosted your fingers along his jaw before trailing them down his arm. You wanted him to rest so you got out quietly and padded to the kitchen to make some breakfast.

It wasn't long before you heard his familiar footsteps on the wooden floor. You turned to him and found that he was still shirtless. You hadn't seen him shirtless before you realized. Not like this.

"Good morning," you whispered softly, "you look better."

"Can we talk?" Oh. He wanted to head right into that.

"Y-yeah. Yes," you agreed, already nervous, heart beating rapidly, "of course."

He sat down and motioned for you to join him, which you did without hesitation.

"I'm sorry," he echoed his words from last night after a few beats of silence, "for what I said. How I said it."

"I didn't take it personally," you promised, "I know you were hurt. Hurting."

"It doesn't excuse it," he leaned back in his chair, scrubbing a tired hand over his face, "I often wonder why you're here. With me."

His words crashed around your ears and hit like a ton of bricks. The panic on your face was evident.

"I don't - I don't doubt you," he quickly shut off any of your negative thoughts, "me. Why me?"

"I don't…I don't understand, Joel."

"You're so young, so good, so fuckin' beautiful. Everything I'm not," you looked at him in surprise, wondering if this had been on his mind for some time, "you could have anyone you want. Why are you here? With me? An old man with too much shit and baggage that can't even communicate properly? Surely there's someone better for you here."

"Joel," you couldn't help the small laugh that escaped your lips, "you're so blind sometimes, you know? I don't want anyone or anything but you. It's you. Joel Miller, I know it's hard for you to accept certain things, but you have to know that I love you. That it's….always been you. Since we met."

"I haven't even been able to be shirtless around you," he sighed heavily, forcing himself to meet your eyes, "we can't even have sex unless it's dark. I - fuck…I know you've noticed, you're not dumb."

"I have, and you're right, I'm not dumb."

"You haven't said anything."

"Why should I have?" You asked in return, "its not…I love you, and that means accepting all of you, even the bits and pieces you hate yourself. I love all the things you hate about yourself," you were waving your arms around as you normally did when you got excited and that brought the smallest of smiles to his face, "I don't care about stuff like that…I knew that we'd cross that bridge when you were ready to. It's not my place to push or pull you. I'm willing to wait for you, and I'm always going to be here for you. All I want…all I want is for you to know that I love you and that you don't have to do anything on your own. You have me, always. I want to be your home and your safe space, just as you are mine."

"How could you…" he gestured to his body, speaking through gritted teeth and thinking of every mark and scar that littered his body, "how could love this? Is this really what you want to deal with?"

"First of all, I'm not 'dealing' with you," you reached across the table and put your hand on top of his, "you don't just deal with the people you love."

"But-"

"But nothing," you insisted, "you're perfect just the way you are. And excuse me for a moment for objectifying you but you're hot, Joel. You're fine as hell, and I can't believe you don't see that. On top of that you're a good man, even if you don't want to believe it. What else could I want?"

"Baby," he took your hand and held onto it, squeezing tenderly, "I'm giving you an out if you want it."

"Well I don't fucking want it," you squeezed back, "I'm not leaving. Not unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me. That you want me to leave."

His eyes met yours, "never."

"Good," you offered him a small smile, "that settles that. Joel, you're so important to me and I will always be here for you physically or mentally or however. I've got scars and marks and imperfections too. I've got baggage. The thing is when you love someone that doesn't matter."

"I know," he closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, "I'm s-"

"Don't," you cut him off softly, "don't say you're sorry. There's nothing to be sorry for. Just…it's okay for us to take things slow, as they come. And just know that we're here for each other."

"Okay," you saw his adam's apple bob as he choked up.

"Okay," you stood up and walked over to him, and effortlessly, as always, his hands found your hips and he pulled you onto his lap. You gently cradled his hands in your face, beaming at him, silently telling him that everything was going to be alright, "I love you, Joel."

"I…I love…" he paused, not unsure of his devotion but overwhelmed by everything, "I can't believe I've never even said it to you before."

"I don't care. You don't have to tell me anything you don't mean or don't want to," his hands were delicate on your skin as he studied you, "I know it's true regardless. I don't need to hear those specific words."

"I want to say them," he insisted softly, his hand finding your face, a juxtaposition of rough against soft, "I love you. Even if I don't always say it or act like it."

"I know, but you do. Act like it I mean," you preened into his touch and put your own hand on his chest, palm right above his heart, "you're not alone, you know. You have me, Ellie, Tommy, Maria, and so many others. It's hard to be so vulnerable, trust me I really do understand in my own way, but it's also okay. Even if it takes time, forever, or whatever. I am always going to be here."

"What did I do to deserve you?" At his silly question, you laughed, marveling still at how clueless he sometimes was.

"There's no rhyme or reason for loving who we do sometimes," you leaned and pressed your forehead to his, "but you know, the fact that you saved my life the day we met doesn't hurt."

And then he laughed, shoulders relaxing and a genuine smile growing on his face, "well, I think you've gotten me back a few times for that. Why are you still here, huh pretty girl?"

"Shut up," there was nothing but affection behind your words, "somewhere along the line I managed to fall in love with you. So. Here we are."

"Here we are," he repeated before kissing you softly and you practically melting into him, "baby."

"Hey, if you're going to do that can you at least do it in your bedroom?" neither of you had heard Ellie come downstairs but you exchanged a lot before laughing. Yeah, things were pretty good, "otherwise can we make some breakfast already? I'm starving!"

Before you could climb out of his lap, Joel held you back and kissed you softly, giving you a gentle look. You touched his cheek, silently nodding in response.

Not everything needed to be said out loud. You always heard him loud and clear.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x fem!reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller one shot #pedro pascal #tlou #tlou hbo #the last of us

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puripurin · 2 months ago

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Yan! Llama Hybrid x SheepHybrid! Reader

— Recently, on the farm, a bunch of coyotes and wolves started to snag some sheep hybrids into the woods when they would get too close to the fences. It has gotten so bad that they would do it in broad daylight.

The owners decided that they would introduce a new addition to the herd to combat the coyotes. A male Llama named Lumi. All of the sheep were skeptical at first because they all thought that it was a little odd that the new sheep would have such a long neck and a lot bigger in size, but soon enough, they couldn't help but warm up to him.

Lumi, on the other hand, was still in his awkward phase. He'd recently entered into adulthood and was feeling sad and lonely without his parents there to guide him, but it wasn't until he saw your gorgeous curls and your small little tail that wagged in excitement. Just in that moment, he'd decided to be your life-long mate and started the process of courting you.

You did not give a shit about Lumi. You only cared about the coyotes that ate the rest of the flock. You wanted to start making sacrifices to grow your cult of small critters such as squirrels and rabbits.

This was because you heard from a passing by sheep hybrid that was being transported to another farm about how you could obtain everything you wanted if people devoted their lives to you.

However, you didn't expect Lumi to be so dedicated to you that he'd easily deciphered your messages to your devout followers and your weekly gatherings.

As you walked out of the dead of night, with the intention of killing a coyote that night. But it was oddly still, as if it was waiting for something. The trees didn't ruffle against each other, and the cool wind was nowhere to be seen

You stiffened up and silently walked back. If one of the other sheeps found out about this whole cult thing you had going on, you'd be ousted and killed by the coyotes instead.

But, you were immediately thrown down and turned over. Your eyes widened in panic and started to attack the person who held you down silently, only to realize that blood was dripping on your face.

"My love, I've killed one of those tainted and unpure coyotes for your sacrifice. I would hate to see your delicate hands get stained with something unworthy of your desire... but why... Why do you yearn and look at someone else with interest other than me? ... Only I shall be your eyes and ears, my love..."

Random and barely edit post after months of not posting. I was watch yt shorts and i came across a video abt guard llamas w sheeps. Its been on my mind for 3 weeks and i started this 2 weeks ago. I only decided now to finish it.

You can see the point where i went fuck it because i had no idea what to do with the reader's background so i was like "Ooh maybe they want to smash the coyotes... what's close to smashing coyotes... Cult." Cult leader YN it is.

Anyways below is for the rest of people who want to know what happened after that incident.

I feel better about my dog's death, but we weren't able to get him back due to the poor weather and the fact he was last seen in a drain. So there wasn't a proper burial, but I'm happy that we didn't end up with 2 losses. We had them since they were puppies, and its upsetting that the younger one died, but i understand why they had to kill him.

He's a dangerous breed of dog even though he's docile most of them time. He was a cane corso, and my older dog is a rottweiler and pitbull mix. So not the most safest dogs to be around, but what are you gonna do when your country is busy locking up a man for money laundering bcs they shit at their jobs.

Right, if I'm not lazy enough, I'll go back and redo every one of my ocs bcs im on the verge of deleting them all from embarrassment. Then that will hopefully be a small week long event for my tumblr as im not used to those things. But this might take months.

Also, no won't do kinktober, im lazy, and smut isn't my forte. Anyways bye-bye, see yall when my coffin feels too stuffy~

(soz if this is shit as well bcs i didn't do a whole lotta explaining abt Lumi's behavior)

#yandere #yandere x reader #male yandere #yandere hybrid #yandere llama hybrid #i am alive #kinda

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h-c-u · 2 years ago

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Mystery of the traveling bruises.

Summary: You always bruised easily, but lately it was becoming excessive. And honestly couldn't trace half of them to anything specific, until one night, the solution to your mystery hits you.

Pairing: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky x fem!reader

W/C: 1.3k

Rating: PG, size difference

TWs: none

A/N: Ice is a giant, strong af teddy bear, who definitely could split logs in half Captain America style, and he just loves the reader so much. Like seriously. It's tooth-rotting <3

Masterlist | List of tags

Ice moved in his sleep. A lot.

It didn't bother you, since you could have slept through the apocalypse. Besides, something else wasn't letting you fall asleep so easily lately.

Even more bruises started magically appearing on different parts of your body. They weren't even that bad and almost never hurt, and since you basically bruised when you stared at a single fragment of skin for too long, you kind of brushed it off. But usually, you were able to trace most of them to a specific moment when they were created, but lately... Well... They were just appearing out of nowhere.

It took you a good four weeks to solve that mystery, and the solution fell into your lap as surprisingly as possible, in a form of a rough wake-up, when you were literally elbowed off the bed. But after the initial shock of such a sudden wake-up disappeared, you just burst into laughter, because the solution to your mystery hit you. Literally. And when you started laughing, Ice also started waking up.

At first, he thought you were crying and got really scared, waking up in an instant, but he quickly realized that you were fine.

- It was you! - you couldn't stop laughing, and it was really hard to accuse someone of such a heinous crime when you couldn't even keep your face straight, still sitting on the floor.

- What...? - even though he was currently fully woken up, his voice was still raspy and sleepy.

- I was trying... - you just couldn't stop laughing at the whole situation, because you were honestly starting to suspect you were getting abducted by aliens who were running some sort of psychological experiment on you. You hid your head in between your knees, trying your best to calm down, but the tears started to appear in the corners of your eyes, and that made you laugh even harder. - I thought it was aliens! Or fairies! Or goblins! Or gods know what! BUT IT WAS YOU!!! - another wave of ugly laughter hit you with such force, that you toppled to the floor. Of course, you didn't really believe that, but the thought crossed your mind.

- What...? - he evidently couldn't grasp what was happening. Did he miss something? Did you lose your mind?

- YOU WERE GIVING ME THE BRUISES!!! - you finally got it out and started laughing even more, if that was possible. Ice was staring at you and blinking like crazy, trying to process exactly what happened, and his brain finally started catching up. He of course noticed the additional bruises because he kissed every single one of them diligently every evening. But since you recently came back to sculpting in stone, and considering the fact that you recently got a dog, he thought that it was because of that... He didn't even think that he might be the source of them. But the reality started to sink in, and his face finally made you sober up and calm down quicker than ever.

- No, no, no, no, no...! It's not your fault, it's ok, I don't blame you! They don't even hurt, you know that! - the speed at which the words were leaving your mouth was at least a little bit impressive.

- But... I hurt you.... - he was still processing that, but when everything clicked, he was next to you in a second. - I'm so, so sorry... - he instantly pulled you into the softest of hugs.

- Tom, I'm fine, it's fine... - you let him lift you from the floor, wrapping your legs around his hips, while one of his arms was supporting your ass and the other landed between your shoulder blades. You loved that he could just do that as if you weren't heavier than a kitten. - I was just analyzing the shit out of them for the last four weeks, and the mystery is finally solved. I'm honestly ok. - you tried to convince him as best as you could, but you just knew that there was a siren howling in his brain, that he somehow hurt you.

- I'm sorry... - he repeated himself, hiding his face in the nook of your neck. - I'm really fucking sorry... I didn't mean to... - his arms were holding you so tenderly, yet you still could feel his tense muscles under his skin.

- I don't accept your apology, because there is nothing to apologize for, Ice. As you've said, you didn't mean it, and it's not like you can control your body in your sleep. We're just gonna have to come up with something. - you smiled. - And before you even say it - if you'll suggest sleeping on the couch, you better mean both of us, together. - you warned him because you could see on his face where his thoughts went.

- Fine... - he was obviously not happy that you were not giving up - or in his mind - you were exposing yourself to more pain. If his colleagues could see him now... Mr. Ice-cold-no-mistakes almost broken by few bruises. - So what do you have in mind...? - he finally asked, and you already had a possible solution in mind.

Since you usually slept on your stomach and you didn't want to change positions...

- I'm gonna be your weighted blanket for now, and we'll go from there... - he smiled, but the concern was still present in his eyes.

- You want to...? - the thought apparently more pleasurable than he thought at first.

- Sleep on top of you, yes. - you didn't even ask him for permission, but you honestly doubted that he would have said no, especially right now.

He only hummed in agreement and you could feel his chest vibrating against your body.

Without letting you go, he climbed back to bed and laid down in his usual spot, but this time with some additional weight on his body.

- Are you comfortable...? - he asked when he covered you both with a duvet.

- Hmmm... Not yet, give me a moment... - right now you were feeling more like a frog doing the splits around his abdomen, so you started adjusting.

First, you've straightened your right leg and placed it in between his, which under different circumstances could have led to something else. Right now though, you were both calming down, and slowly getting sleepy again, so there was no chance for any... additional activities. But who could say what will happen in the future...? You hooked your left leg high over his hip, so you were basically straddling his right side, and that alone was already enough to relieve the pressure on the lower part of your spine, and you couldn't help but stretch a little to give into that feeling. Your left arm fell along his side to the mattress, and you pressed your fingertips just a little bit under his ribs; not enough to cut circulation, but enough to feel a tiny bit of pressure grounding you in that position.

- Your neck is not supported, it will hurt in the morning... - he was the one who noticed that first, and honestly - you were comfortable enough to slip right back into the soft nothingness of sleep. He tried putting a small pillow under your head, but it was too high and would strain your neck even more. And when that didn't work, he placed his forearm there, and your right hand slithered under it, in the open space around his elbow, and both of you hummed in agreement at the same time, apparently finding a perfect position.

- Good night, Ice... - you mumbled against his skin.

- Good night, love... - he whispered and placed a soft kiss on the top of your head. - I'm sorry... - he apologized again, and you gave him a warning growl because you were too far gone for words.

It didn't take either of you long to fall asleep, and what was even more important, you woke up without any additional bruises on your body. But after the night of such comfortable sleep, how the hell you were supposed to sleep when he wasn't home...?

#my writing #Top Gun Fanfiction #Tom Kazansky fic #Tom Kazansky x reader #Tom Iceman Kazansky x reader #Tom Iceman Kazansky fanfiction #iceman x reader #📏

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itmeansiris · 13 days ago

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The Solar System Legacy Challenge: Random School Holiday Gen 1 pt.77

The weekend was over and Monday morning came with the promise of a busy schedule. When M and Kason came downstairs the triplets were nowhere to be found.

They were normally raiding the fridge or crowding the bathroom trying to get ready for school. Sure, it was still raining, but they hadn't gotten any notification about school closures due to the weather.

Kason: Think they packed up and went to live in Moonwood Mills with the wolves?

She swatted his arm before pointing at him.

M: If they did guess who gets to go bring them back smartie pants. I'll check upstairs, can you run the coffee machine?

M figured she'd start with Venus. She stopped outside her door hearing faint voices from inside. She knocked twice before opening the door.

M: V? Oh! Good morning ladies.

Venus spared her mother a moment's glance before returning her focus to her void critter battle as Aphdroite rambled off things she learned about Chestnut Ridge. Venus wasn't truly listening as usual, just adding the occasional head nod or half grunt to keep Dite appeased.

Venus: Morning Mom.

Aphrodite: Good morning Mom.

M: How come you guys aren't getting ready for school?

Aphrodite: It's a 3 day school holiday Mom. They put the reminder in our backpacks, it's hanging on the chores board downstairs. Nana put it there.

M tried to remember if she'd seen the note Aphrodite was talking about and could vaguely remember her mother mentioning it during lunch the day before. Luckily, Kason had the next two days off, and M had finished her latest book, freeing up plenty of time. This was the start of an eventful week.

M and Kason had the kids spend Monday morning skill-building. In the afternoon as the kids got restless unable to go outside because of the continued rain Kason suggested a family-friendly yoga session. Kason and M were graceful in their movements showing off a little. Dite caught on quickly striving for perfection. Ishtar and Venus were not as interested in the peaceful nature of the activity. They tumbled and fell over one pose after another until they were on the floor in a fit of laughter. Though their parents didn't mind, Dite on the other hand wasn't pleased with the giggling duo.

Aphrodite: Do you guys ever take anything seriously?

That evening they made homemade pizza and Spirit helped the kids build another blanket fort. They finished the night by breaking out the popcorn maker and settled in for a spooky movie night.

By Tuesday morning the rain had stopped. M took Zohreh with her to Comet's Vet appointment while Kason and Spirit taught the kids how to ride their bikes.

When M and Zohreh got back Spirit and Kason were in the kitchen with the kids. Spirit and her favorite little helper Venus were making spooky day cookies. M went and got changed to join the others downstairs when she got a call. She'd barely answered when the voice on the other line came in strong and without a greeting.

Winter: I'll be there tomorrow.

She bleated before M could say hello.

M: That's a day early is everything okay?

She heard Winter scoff. She could hear the rapid fluttering of Winter's massive black wings. She could recall all the times she had seen Winter flutter her wings without taking flight it normally meant she was anxious or worse mad.

Winter: Can't a girl want a little time away from her kids and husband to grill her best friend about the rumors she had to hear about from Peyton? Is that reason enough? Plus I still need a costume for your spooky day party. Figured I could drag you shopping.

M hadn't spoken to Winter in weeks and hadn't seen her since they were in Tomarang for Jorden’s funeral service, which meant she hadn't had a chance to explain what had happened with Paris recently. Winter and Peyton (Kason's twin brother) were coming to Brindelton Bay for the fall holidays. They planned to arrive on Thursday (the day before the party), but it seemed Winter was expediting her own arrival. M didn't offer any objections, it had been too long since she had seen her best friend.

M: I'm sorry Winter. You never need a reason to come and see me. I can't wait to meet Hannah.

Winter: Yeah, well that will have to wait.

Winter responded flatly. M wasn't sure if the hint of annoyance she was picking up in Winter's tone was real but she didn't like the way it made her feel.

M: We clearly have a lot to talk about. But do you mind if I invite Kiersten, the girl I told you about?

Winter: Sure. It's about time I met the person who's been occupying my bestfriends time while I've been away moving and having a baby.

M: Oh watcher Winter..I'm a horrible friend.

Winter's wicked laughter was enough to pull M out of her own head. Winter had always been a little mischievous and her antics didn't exclude Mercury. M had always blamed it on the spellcasters who had trained her but part of it was just how good ole Winter was.

Winter: I'm just busting your balls. You've been busy too M. I was upset-though, having Peyton show me the pictures and you never even calling that hurt. But I know you were dealing with it and the kids are excited to see their cousins and Uncle Kason. I can't wait to see you and hear all about the drama. Oh, and I can't wait to meet your friend.

M smiled as Kason came into the living room to steal a kiss.

M: Winter Lotus you better behave yourself she's nice but no one could replace you and you know it.

She warned using her parenting voice. On the surface, it may have been a joke but M couldn't shake the feeling that she had been neglecting her friendship with Winter and wanted to reassure her friend (and herself a little) that no one could ever take her place in M's life. They weren't just best friends. They were like sisters but were legally sisters by marriage to the Gratz twins. They were aunts to each other children. Winter was her family just as much as Beckett was her blood brother.

Winter: Does that mean I can't show her any magic tricks!

Winters laughter filled the line again along with the familiar twinkle noise that indicated she was using her magic.

M: Winter!

Winter: I'm just kidding! Love you M, See you tomorrow.

Previous Next

Beginning

Sidebar: Venus is playing on @ravasheencc voidcritter tablet. They still own the battle station but V likes to play alone or online sometimes! She’s determined to be the best.

Pose:

Willowsworld: Two bodies, One mind

Libet: child emotions

starrysimsie: On the line

#sims 4 #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 story #sims 4 legacy #solar system legacy challenge #sims 4 screenshots #itmeansiris #gen 1 #sims 4 romance #sims 4 lovestruck

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reticent-writer · 1 year ago

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Hi Can I Ask Gojo, Megumi,Shinobu,Sanemi, Tengen, Mitsuri and Itadori With The Father Figure Reader How They Would Act If They Discovered Pictures On The Internet Of Their Dad At The Club Drinking And Basically Being The Life Of The Party Picking Up Lots Of Women.

And The Other Day S/O Not remembering anything

◡̈⋆ʜᴇʟʟᴏ(●’◡’●)ﾉ

Kimetsu Academy

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

»»————>Demon slayer<————««

Shinobu

She found you passed out on your kitchen floor

She didn't know why until a few days later

Her classmates saw the video and immediately showed her

They thought it was just some drunk dude and not her father

She's not mad just disappointed

She watched you chug an inhuman amount of beer then have a contest with another drunk to see who could (seemingly) dance better, sing, you even jumped on a pool table

the table didn't break but it sure did leave you sore in the morning

"Dad, are you serious?" She approached you with an unusual frown.

"What'd I do."

"What didn't you do. There is a video of you drunk out of your mind going around." She angrily pulled out her phone and showed you. She didn't give you time to speak before she went off again.

"I wouldn't be mad if I didn't see you drink so much. You drank like it was your last day on earth. You not as young as you think you are, you need to watch what you do." She started to sound worried and it made you feel bad.

"I'm sorry Shinobu. I won't happen again."

Sanemi

Sanemi was waiting for his students to arrive when he saw the video

He didn't know how to react

The who he called dad was dancing half naked to a crowd of people cheering him on

You were singing and everything

The only thing you had on were pants and socks

Everything else was nowhere to be seen

He was on his break when realized he forgot his lunch and like a good dad you brought it for him

He wasn't going to say anything but he just had to tell you

You were about to leave when he stopped you by grabbing your arm.

"Wait umm... Did you go out recently?" He asked nervously, not making eye contact.

"Yeah. Why did something happen?"

"You could say that." He showed you the video.

"I-i don't remember any of that." You swore as you cringed at your attempt at singing.

After the video stopped playing the both of you sat in silence. It was awkward.

Tengen

He thinks it hilarious

He was in the middle of making his explosive arts when he got a message from Makio saying "Get your dad before he hurts himself"

He had a good laugh watching you dance like there was no tomorrow

You had a chugging contest, played strip poker, made out with men and women

then blacked out

He couldn't be mad when you looked so happy

When he got home, you were being lectured by all three of his wives

"What would possess you to be so reckless? You could've gotten hurt." Makio says with Suma holding her back. You looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"But I'm perfectly fine and besides I don't even remember." You tried to ease her anger but it didn't work. She was about to explode when tengen helped Suma and Hina hold her.

"Whoa Whoa what's going on?"

"You saw the video. You saw this idiot."

"I think it was flashy. He was having fun and living his life to the fullest so I see no problem with him drinking every once in a while... With that being said you're not drinking without me there ever again."

Mitsuri

If you're happy, she's happy

but damn

She's never seen you act out in anyway

In her eyes you were a sweet and kind second father

Obanai found you when you went to the wrong house

He called Mitsuri and she came running

"Y/N I WAS SO WORRIED." Kanroji clung to you like her life depended on it.

"Worried? What happened?"

She pulled away and looked you up and down.

"You got drunk and blacked out." Obanai explained.

"Really?" You thought for a second. "I don't remember a thing."

"I bet."

Mitsuri hugged you again but this time tighter.

Who could refuse a hug from the love Hashira.

(Obanai stood to the side wishing it was him)

»»————>Jujustu Kaisen<————««

Itadori

He was scrolling on TikTok when a caption caught his eye

"DILF still knows how to party"

It a collage of 3 photos with a video at the end

first photo: You taking shots

second pic: A young woman in a crop top and mini skirt (?) grinding on

third pick: You taking body shots off the same woman

The video was You dancing with a woman on each side of you and another throwing it back on you

Gojo posted it

You were sitting on the couch when Yuji approached you.

"Uh dad... is this you?"

You watched the video completely confused you even took the phone from him to get a better look.

You go to the page to see Gojo's profile

You were gonna kill him.

Megumi

He was woken up by you drunk (with the asistance of someone you met at the club) and knocking at the door trying to find your 7 y/o son

he's 16

A few days later Nobara sends him a video on insta

You didn't have a shirt on and was making out with someone in the back of a club

He texted "..." to nobara

He sent the video to you

"When was that"

"I don't remember going to a club"

"I swear I don't remember anything"

Megumi remembers it

(the night in question)

*knock knock knock*

Megumi looked through the peep whole of the door to see you leaning on an unfamiliar woman.

When he opens the door the woman is quick to hand you off.

"Hi, is this your dad he's okay, just really drunk. Sorry for the intrusion." She said as was steadily backed up until she was out of sight.

"mmmmmegumi when did you get so tall." You try to stand up straight to compare you height but you end up falling backwards and falling.

From your spot on the ground you get a look at his face.

"Toji?"

"Who?"

*silence*

You passed out.

Gojo

He took you to the club and expected you to drink a little and go home

When things got wild he didn't have a heart to stop you

"But you looked like you were having so much fun"

If things did get too out of hand he would've got you

He took videos and pictures

He saved one as his home screen

"Who knew an old guy like you could party that hard." Gojo casually dissed you as he scrolled through his phone.

You ignored him thinking he was just pulling your leg.

"I've never seen you drunk before."

You ignored him again.

"You even flirted with a woman. You promised you take her home, she was into you too."

You were going to ignore him again but he played a video of you talking to the woman.

You couldn't help but check it out.

You could barely recognize yourself and Gojo was eating it up.

He was so proud of himself.

#male reader #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader #platonic #father reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #shinobu x reader #sanemi x reader #tengen x reader #mitsuri x reader #yuji x reader #megumi x reader #gojo x reader

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unhingedoveractivemuse · 24 days ago

Text

A Blessing

Tags: Bobby Nash & Evan "Buck" Buckley. Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Established Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Bobby Nash Acting as Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parental Figure

Notes: Flufftober #22 Heirloom

==================================

Bobby Nash knows that no matter what universe he resides in, he will always love his family, welcoming them with open arms whenever they need him knowing they'll do the same in return.

It does not mean he isn't filled with worry every time one of his family shows up on his doorstep unannounced.

Especially when it's Buck.

It also doesn't help that Buck exudes anxious energy, practically vibrating out of his skin.

“I want to ask Eddie to marry me,” the younger man says when they finally sit down and Bobby gently asks what's wrong.

Bobby isn't surprised. At least not about Buck wanting to ask Eddie for his hand in marriage because he's seen Buck glancing at Eddie's hand a lot and not-so-subtle browsing wedding pictures recently.

He is also surprised, though, which is a pretty uncommon feeling when it comes to Buck and Eddie. The only time he was truly surprised by anything that has to do with them is when Eddie first joined the 118. One, he hadn't expected Buck to be so hostile. Two, while he scouted Eddie to be partners with Buck and knew they'd complement each other, he didn't expect them to get along so well to the point that everyone knew it was only a matter of time before they grew into something more.

It's one of those moments when he was reminded that, as is with everything, God always has a plan.

It took a while between repression and their needing to realize the part of themselves that loves each other exists, but when Buck and Eddie finally got their act together and saw what was right in front of them, they've been so, so happy. He honestly can't say if he's seen them happier than when they've been together.

So, he is surprised Buck came in such a panic.

There's only one reason he can think of.

“He'll say yes,” Bobby reassures.

He's seen these two grow as best friends and as individuals. Buck has become calmer and more settled thanks in no small part to Eddie, and Eddie has been more relaxed and more willing to lean on others because of Buck. He’s seen them with different partners - all nowhere near compatible with them (not that Bobby ever told them that directly) than they are with each other - until they were ready to come together to be something more, and he can say for sure he's never seen Eddie look at anyone with so much love other than Buck.

There's no doubt in his mind how unshakable Buck's place in Eddie's life is.

Eddie will say yes.

(He ignores the part of him that says “Or else.”)

“But what if he doesn't want marriage? What if he only says yes because he feels obligated to? I mean, after what happened to his last one, I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't want to get married again and I can't force it on him… and I can't exactly ask without giving it away.”

He's a good kid, he thinks for the nth time since he's met Buck. Even in the face of not having what he wants, he will always think of others first.

Bobby is glad nothing that's happened in the past couple of years has changed that, and it makes him feel all the more confident about the decision he's made.

“I have something for you, Buck. Sit tight, alright?”

He returns minutes later, sliding a little velvet drawstring bag across the table to Buck, who looks very curious about it but doesn't move.

“It's for you, kid,” Bobby clarifies. “It might need resizing but it's yours to use if you want.”

Blue eyes widen at the implication, and Buck reaches out towards the bag, opening it cautiously before his mouth falls open.

“You're giving me a ring?!”

“Yes. It's tradition to pass it down when your son is ready to propose, so, just like my mom gave it to me and my grandmother gave it to my dad, I'm giving it to you.”

He honestly doesn't know in which generation the ring originated from, but he knows the tradition of passing it on from mother to son when he's ready to start another chapter in his life has been going on for at least four generations. His brother should have gotten it as the older one but Charlie didn't want it, so his mom had given it to him when he was ready to propose to Marcy.

He had asked her how she had known he was planning on proposing, and all she said was “I just knew. And I'm sure Marcy will know one day, too, when your future children are ready.”

Bobby might not be Marcy and Buck might not be Robert Jr. but he knew.

Buck looks teary-eyed but manages to stutter out, “I-I… Bobby, I can't. T-that means this w-was Marcy's. And even…what about Harry or May?”

He had thought for a long time about whether he wanted to do this. The ring was one of the only things he had left of Marcy, saved from the deadly fire that had taken his family from him by chance of being at the jeweler for annual maintenance. Naturally, he had kept it but never thought he would continue the family tradition.

Until Buck came into his life and wiggled his way into his heart, making a home for himself next to where Robert Jr. and Brook still live.

The question was if he was willing to give up the little he still had of Marcy.

But when he brought it up to Athena, she had given him a look and said, “I think you know what you want to do.”

“Marcy would give her blessing,” he tells the man that he sees as his own kid. “And Harry and May won't mind.”

“Y-you're sure? They won't get mad?”

“You know what May told me once?”

Buck shakes his head.

“She said that Athena brought two kids into the marriage and I brought one. You're her brother, and I'm sure Harry feels the same.”

He watches as Buck swallows, taking out the ring and staring at it. “Is this your way of giving me your blessing and saying it'll go well?”

“You're ready, kid. You both are.”

=========================

Two weeks later, when Buck turns up unannounced at the door again, this time with Eddie adorning the engagement ring that Bobby gave Buck, worry floods him again especially seeing the nerves on Buck's face.

But the soft smile on Eddie's face should have assured him it wasn't anything terrible.

In fact, it's…

“Will you walk me down the aisle?”

…it's a blessing.

#9 1 1 fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 fanfic #911 fanfiction #flufftober #flufftober2024

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jikookuntold · 1 year ago

Text

The Untold Truth of Jungkook’s WeLives

I had the idea of this post in my mind for a long time, but I didn't know how to put it out. Since most Jikookers have noticed some kind of pattern in JK's livestreams recently, I thought maybe it's time to write this post and add my notions to the known theories and facts.

Weverse, instead of VLive

Let’s go back one year in time. On June 16th, 2022, a day after BTS announced the pause in their group activities, which caused chaos due to media misinterpreting it as their hiatus or even disbandment, someone had to reassure ARMY about the continuation of BTS and do the damage control. And for some reason, JK was the one to be called for this duty. He started his first solo livestream in Weverse app in a place we had never seen before. That place had a few pieces of furniture from their Hannam dorm, rumored to be rented by Big Hit just a couple of weeks earlier.

Months passed, and JK didn’t do any livestreams until his birthday came, and another assigned live in the Weverse app happened at the same place. Like the other six members (five, to be more accurate since Tae evaded this), he promoted his photobook and did the routine of his lives by singing songs and casually talking with ARMY. His next solo live happened after the World Cup performance in a Doha hotel room, and he didn’t appear in any Weverse lives for some time.

Midnight Streamer

After doing only three lives in almost a year, all assigned by the company, JK came back to Weverse app on the first night of February, and this time it wasn’t an assigned livestream, but it was an unplanned and unauthorized one. He appeared at 2 AM singing songs, including Vibe, the newest release by Jimin. Since this live happened out of nowhere, Namjoon and later Tae tried to intervene and control the situation, then they realized there was nothing to worry about.

The next JK live happened only two nights later around midnight, and Jimin was the first one to comment. JK was so excited to see Jimin’s comments and invited him to have chicken, but Jimin was too busy with his schedule (even at midnight) to accept his offer. A few days later, on the 11th of February, JK did a livestream at his boxing trainer gym, and again, Jimin was one of the first ones to comment. JK and his coach invited Jimin to resume his training and implied that they both train with the same coach.

Unfortunately, this was the last livestream from that gym since JK’s privacy got invaded and videos of him doing work out there, were leaked by some stalker. A few weeks later, on the last day of February, JK did another live (this time around noon), and the same day, he deleted his Instagram account.

Is This the End?

You know that I’m among the hardcore believers of Jikook living together. And at this era, anons and non-anons kept asking me if I am still in my belief or not, since JK was showing up alone in the middle of the night, which was against this belief. But I couldn’t wrap my head around it because couples don’t suddenly stop living together unless they break up, which wasn’t the case because they weren’t acting like exes, since you don’t invite your ex for dinner or boxing together, you don’t go watch his dance practice and cheer for him. So, why were these all happening?

Jimin was getting ready for his solo debut at this time, and when the Bangtan Bomb for Jimin dance practices came out, we saw him talking about the strict diet he was on for keeping his weight around 50kg since dancers had to carry him for choreo. We weren’t strangers to Jimin’s strict diets before each comeback, but this statement was the information I needed to have my ultimate conclusion. Jikook had to stay separated for a short time because Jimin was working hard and dieting harder, and spending time with JK would work against his plans (he was literally inviting him for food in one live, remember?). This was the exact time JK started doing his routine livestreams from Brunnen because he had to stay there apart from his Jiminie hyung. But this was not the only conclusion I had from JK’s regular livestreams.

I’m Hyung’s Fan

In March, JK kept doing his livestreams which was a sign of the continuation of Jimin’s tight schedules. JK did one livestream on the 3rd day of March around 2 AM, and I don’t remember anything specific about it, but the next one was unforgettable. On March 14th, The White Day, when Jimin was out of the country for recording Jimmy Fallon show, JK did four consecutive livestreams from around 8 PM till midnight and played a playlist consisting of “There for You”, “Christmas Day” and “Nothing”, all Jimin-coded songs. He finished the fourth live a few minutes before midnight and reminded us that something amazing is coming at 00:00, which happened to be Jimin’s solo pre-release, Set Me Free Pt2. He changed his outfit three times in these lives from a black jacket to a white shirt and a purple jacket which at first didn’t seem to mean anything until Set Me Free MV and dance practice video came out.

The next JK Weverse live was another undercover promotion for his Jiminie hyung. A few hours before the official release of “Face” he came online and spoiled “Letter” the hidden song in the album he did the back vocals for. If you think JK was being obvious in promoting Jimin, then you should have watched the next WeLive he did. Four days after his last livestream, he came back online to watch the newest episode of Suchwita because Jimin was the guest. He admitted that he had never watched any episodes of this drinking show before, and after that, he watched other videos of Jimin on YouTube, letting the algorithm expose his bias.

The next day, he answered Jimin’s comment about missing “ARMY” with “me too” and Jimin replied making it obvious that JK was missing “him”. The same day, Jimin did a livestream on his way back from pre-recording a stage performance, and JK spammed it with 19 comments. JK never did this for any other member. All the Hyung line had their solo releases too, but JK never did anything for them that was remotely close to what he did for Jimin. He obviously wasn’t lying when he commented ‘I’m Hyung’s fan”.

I Really Want to Stay at Your House

After the end of Jimin’s solo album promotions, JK’s regular livestreams suddenly became less and less regular, and it was safe to say they were back to their normal living routine. I know Jikookers heard his voice in Jimin’s livestream after getting Billboard Hot100 No.1 on April 3rd, but I’m not going to go there. JK did a short WeLive on April 8th before his trip to LA, but it was a different story, he did that to explain the situation earlier happened in the house. On the 18th of April, when Jhope was enlisting, we saw Jikook’s passionate hug and hinting about the drinking they had the night before, proving again that they spend a lot of time together in their free time.

On April 25th, Jimin traveled to NYC for a Tiffany event and recorded his latest collaboration, and on the same night, JK appeared in Weverse app for another livestream, and the first song he played was named “I Really Want to Stay at Your House”. The next day he posted his food, and a few days later he attended the LV event after-party with Mingyu. On the 4th of May, he complained about a stalker sending food to his door in a Weverse post and threatened with legal action. Two days later Jimin came back from NYC, and JK went on socmed hiatus again. On May 21st he posted a cute photo of Bam, and on the 23rd Jimin left for London, and the next day JK came back to WeLive like a clockwork.

I tried to review everything in chronological order, but I know I have spared lots of details. I don’t think this post needs any conclusion or further explanation because everything explained itself, and you are free to have your own concussion. JK doing livestreams or posting food photos only when Jimin is away or busy, promoting his work and adoring him the way we had never seen before, only has one reasonable explanation, and anything other than that is not valid.

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eye-in-hand · 4 months ago

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Why I'm Converting to Judaism

I've posted this onto tumblr before on an old blog of mine, fuck if I remember what it was called but lmfao I'm sure some people have seen this before.

There are a lot of reasons why I'm converting to Judaism, but what I talk about in this is a large part of it, and a large part of a lot of healing I've had to do. Getting involved in the Jewish community (at the point of writing this, I had a bit, but was still too scared and admittedly triggered from past events I talk about in this to do so) has been really healing for me, and has made me feel validated and less alone in my experiences. And that's something I can never show enough thanks for.

Also at the time of writing this I didn't have my driver's license yet, but I do now, and that's helped with actually being able to be in a physical Jewish space so that's been nice.

Because it involves (CW:) violent antisemitism and rape, I'll put it under the cut. This was written partly around June/July 2023 and then a couple days after 10/7.

For the last few years I've been seriously considering and researching into converting to Judaism. It's been a little difficult because I live in the middle of fucking nowhere northern Midwest and the closest Jewish community to me is small and an hour away (and I can not drive), but I've been talking with their rabbi for the past few years. Admittedly on and off because I've been ahhhh terrified lmfao for many different reasons (mainly it brings up trauma I've dealt with that I get into that below) but recent events have... really made it clear where I want to stand in this world, and who my heart yearns for the most.

Some back story:

There's a lot that has happened to me growing up involving the idea of Jewish Identity, who is and isn't Jewish—but there are a few major events that really stick out in my mind. The majority of my years in High School, I would often (and I mean, this happened regularly) be asked if I was Jewish, or told "you look Jewish" unsolicited, or asked "why do you [act Jewish]?" I have dark, curly hair, and other "typical Jewish features", or so I'm told. I had no idea if I was Jewish (ethnically anyways, I knew I wasn't religiously), and growing up as an undiagnosed autistic, I had no idea how to respond to these kinds of questions, or what to do about figuring that out, I had no fucking idea about anything. I don't even think I really understood what being Jewish meant. And when enough people ask you if you're X thing, you start to wonder if you are.

When asked, I had two answers: "I don't know, actually," or "why?" I never understood why it was only the Jewish kids being asked this, why was the question always "are you Jewish?" I never seemed to see other ethnicities being questioned (bare the biracial kids, they got asked this a lot too) and I went to a very diverse inner-city school. I knew Jewish kids and they were always asked and bothered the same way I was, sometimes at the same time. I showed interest in learning about Jewish culture and would talk about it at school, etc. Maybe these answers were the wrong ones. I'm autistic, I have no idea. Maybe I should have just said "no, I'm not." but my response was "I don't know, let me look into that," or "Why? Does it matter?" Because I genuinely meant those words.

To keep this short, I was bullied in school for "being Jewish", "looking Jewish", especially as if my dark, curly hair and nose were ugly and weird traits to either mock or touch without asking. Traits I tried to hide my whole life until recently as an adult I learned to appreciate them. I remember a specific incident where my 'best friend' was in a group project with other classmates and as the class was working on them, she came all the way across the room to me, and asked, "are you Jewish?" and I said, "why?"

"Oh because you look like a Greek Jew." Whatever that means.

All I responded with was a forced laugh and "does it matter if I was? Why is the question always about being Jewish?"

She went back to her group and for the rest of the class I was stared and laughed at. Very weird. Autism brain does not understand what is so fucking funny about it. There was another incident with her, or regularly honestly, and this group of people who would compare me to characters from media based on negative Jewish stereotypes and apparently it was just hilarious.

I always had to deal with holocaust jokes, Jew jokes, expected to laugh and go with it because it was just a crack at my appearance.

After high school, I moved towns, and — to keep this short and not too personal. I met a guy who took me in while I was vulnerable. Just became homeless, had no friends or places to go in a completely new town. Turns out, he's a neo-nazi, and I mean that literally. Not in the just a bigot oh he's a nazi, like — he was a proud "Odinist" body builder fuck head who was very proud of being Icelandic and German. The topic of Jewish people was one he brought up a lot, especially towards me. He asked me that same question, and I told him, "I don't know. I get asked that a lot."

I told him I was interested in celebrating Jewish holidays to learn more about Judaism. I'm angry at myself because I was barely 18, undiagnosed autistic, and he was much older than me, a local of the town and who I was depending on for a place to stay, for food. I barely knew what a pagan was, let alone what covert supremacy looked like.

I'm not exaggerating that this all still makes me shake, typing this is hard. I feel sick. He isolated me, kept me in his basement, "joked" about keeping "a Jew in his basement" and how "funny it would be to make that a dead Jew." He sexually abused me, beat me, choked and shook me, called me slurs, he'd talk on the phone when he thought I was asleep to his white supremacist friends about the "Jewish whore" he had. He wouldn't let me get a job, encouraged me to "act Jewish" in a fetishizing way. Told "edgy" jokes over, and over, and over and expected me to laugh with everything. It was all just a joke why are you upset it's funny, what's wrong with you, why are you such a bitch?

Later, when I got away from him (and homeless again in the process) I was in online "spiritual communities" and showed a picture of my face. I didn't realize how much the New Age community hates Jews and I was called a lot of things, especially when I told them that Jews aren't an alien race here to take over the world, or that hating Jewish people doesn't make you a fucking spiritually awakened guru. I was harassed in public for "being a Zionist (edit: yes, even in 2017)" even though I had never even mentioned an opinion on Israel, I never claimed to be Jewish, it was just assumed. My (platonic) partner's mother cried because "my daughter is running off w that k*** boy." I never told her I was Jewish, and neither did my partner. She saw me on Skype once. (Edit: My boyfriend's family are from Russia/Georgia and he's terrified to be seen with me near them and despite being interested in Judaism himself he's scared to go to the synagogue with me because of the possibility of them finding out. (Some of the fear is also because we're gay, but I'm well aware that it'd be even worse if they knew it was gay jews. And he's not scared for himself, he's scared for me.)

I got a DNA test a few years ago. I'm not Jewish. I don't know what happened to me. I don't understand this. Is this valid pain towards an identity I can't even claim? What do I even do with this? I wish I could talk to a Rabbi but I can't tell if I'm overstepping a boundary. A Rabbi's job is for the Jewish Community, they don't have time to hear my sob story about the antisemitism a Gentile faced. I can't just show up to the Jewish community and say "I get your struggles" because I don't. But I feel so alone.

I've stepped in and out of conversion, confused and unsure of who I am or who I want to be, what I believe, and how others see me. Angry at myself for how I handled these questions. Angry at myself for appropriating a struggle that isn't even mine to be struggling with. I'm so sorry.

When converting doesn't scare me, I just want to convert so that maybe the idea of being Jewish can be more than pain to me, and instead be something empowering. But I don't know anything right now or where I should go.

About a month or so ago, a couple coworkers of my partner started harassing us about me being Jewish, and I had directly told them multiple times, that I am not Jewish. I had even dropped the idea of converting because I was too scared of all this past hurt and didn't want to be alone to deal with it anymore, and too scared to talk to the Rabbi for fear of bothering him. But they threatened me, the only place I felt safe to hang out was around my partner's work and that place is no longer safe for me because of these people. I don't know them, and I don't want to know what they're capable of or rather who they know around here, because they're Qanon supporters of the men that tried to kidnap the governor and supporters of Jan 6, trumpy fucking dickheads. I live in a small, incredibly Christian town, I didn't fucking need this shit again.

It really triggered me because I didn't even have the excuse of "well it's my fault, I didn't say I wasn't Jewish" this time. I told them I wasn't but they think I'm hiding some "dark Jew secret" and I "cursed them" because their lives are going to shit.

Then all of this in Israel happened, and it hurt so much. That was the first weekend I had done Shabbat in a year or so, and for the first time it felt so right. It felt like what I should be doing. Then I logged back online, saw what had happened and for the Jewish community around the world it was one of pain. I called my Rabbi this past week after several months of silence on my end, and told him to let me know if there was anything I could do. He was glad to hear from me, and I'm sorry that I kept disappearing.

My point is, I'm converting because no matter what I say or tell people, this will always keep happening, I will never be safe and I don't want to face it alone, I want to hopefully connect with the community (daunting because ahh I'm autistic so I am. Not good at connecting with other people very well), do what I can. I had read about Jewishness being "sharing the fate of the Jewish people" and I believe that I do, it's been proven time and time again no matter what I say or do.

Anyways that's what's been on my mind. I hope this doesn't come off trying to make this tragedy about me, I'm not good at tone and I'm sorry. I'm bringing this up now because this really... marks the time for me to take this seriously, and I never want to shut the door on this again. I need to be there for the Jewish people in times like this because I've felt what that feels like, even if I don't really understand why.

#judaism #jew by choice #jewish conversion #jewish convert #personal//#jewish//#jumblr

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