#this conversation is what finally made me finish setting up this blog

[reshinless]

──── seven minutes in heaven (or hell.)

𝜗𝜚 synopsis. your friends play a game, and force you to join, and just so happens the bottle lands on you, and you forget you're playing 7 minutes in heaven with them, and the bottle lands on your dear trailblazing friend too.

𝜗𝜚 pairings. dan heng, caelus, sampo, welt, gepard, jing yuan, blade, arg

𝜗𝜚 director's notice. repost of my best work back on my old blog and the very late pt 2.

𝐈. Dan Heng ꒱

really calm outside, freaking out internally inside. the person he likes, in the same room with him? that was something that already made him have a somewhat red tint on his cheeks,

and his fate slowly being determined, and into a closet with you instead. the person who invited you just had to be the one person who knew he liked you- march 7th.

the scolding later on that he'd give wouldn't out match how much he's feeling right now. march outside the closet lowkey cheering for you two though, because she knows you both like each other back, yet, it seemed like you were blind to it, to his obviousness, it was annoying!!

you both were so obvious with liking each other.. ugh just kiss!

kind of awkward, but trust me he's just really nervous. thinking that the person he loves and admires silently is in a closet with him, the idea isn't something he thought would ever happen (in real life at least, he has dreams about you.) more utc.

while he's there, you probably gotta start the conversation. it's definitely hard to try talking while people are waiting for 7 minutes to be over to see what might've happened to you two. besides everyone already knows you both like each other.

probably really soft lips, they smell like peaches or maple, or both. and honestly and quite literally a great kisser. knows where to put his hands, probably cups your cheek while kissing you, pretty long kiss too, like after him confessing to you, will hold the kiss for pretty long, and maybe into a mini makeout session.

when you both are out of the closet or when they open the door, whether or not you guys are still kissing she'll go eww i hope you both already confessed and kissed!! you both will get angry at her later, but it was definitely a push you both needed. so a small scolding and thanking her is better.

𝐈𝐈. Caelus ꒱

such a gentle giant with you, always making sure you're comfortable with him.

if you look at the replies in game when you use him instead of the female mc aka stelle, he's much more gentle with it. and as someone who picked stelle instead of caelus she's way more reckless with responses..

super passionate about it too. kind of shy when the kiss between you two finally happens. it was also march who set you both up by the way, no shame at all she invited you to play while he was beside her.

'c'mon! live a little! plus you could even get to kiss you know who!' march quoted. a real matchmaker honestly.

like i said he's kind of shy, not awkward at all, he's the first to talk, and started to confess. he didn't care if march was on the other side of the door listening to your conversations.

if he wanted to stop being shy around you and stutter, this is what he had to do.

and who knows, you might like him back! march was sure that you did, because you also told her, and the only person whoever knew about you two. holds your hands in his while he confesses.

all he could do was continue and turn red. after he was finished, you initiated the kiss, one that was both passionate, and definitely awaited.

most likely he took so long saying that he liked you that you guys had less than 2 minutes to finally kiss, march opening the closet, to see you to share what looked like a quick peck, when it's only really you two that really knew what happened there.

as caelus took his seat on the floor back down next to march, while you took the seat next to the opposite side of where caelus was, all could do was laugh and congratulate you both, and continuing the game.

every little glance you both shared, with a smile.

𝐈𝐈𝐈. Sampo ꒱

big tease about it. 'haha we're both here together. <3'

he's had his fair share of kisses in the past, but you're his first actual romantic crush, the first to actually catch his attention, march probably didn't know you liked him and didn't mean to put you in there with someone so... eugh!!!

he's such an ick it's undescribable!! - march, but honestly his slyness and attractiveness wasn't the only thing that caught your eye. inside he's a really genuine guy.

teasingly sweet, that's what made your heart flutter. other than a few obvious red flags, he's a real sweetheart.

and it's okay we're colorblind together. at the very start it's already a makeout session inside that closet. probably moans a bit to piss you off. definitely leaves hickeys on you after every little kiss he gave, now that he knows you're his, you know?

overtly possessive of you too and rightfully so. he may look like a player but in the end he's also really new to all and everything romantic.

march opens the closet, pinching her nose, "ew get out of there!! gosh, i hope you didn't do anything bad to them.." brushing dust particles off your shoulders,

looking up and down for any bruises, and spots the hickeys, "ew.. you both really did more than just talking in that closet.."

she took a breath of relief and sat you down next to her, far from sampo, who kept smirking at you, winking even, all you could do was look away, covering the red on your face.

but march gave a disgusted look in return, mouthing the words "stay away from them!"

𝐈𝐕. Welt ꒱

experienced dilf and great kisser, not shy when confessing. cups your face for you to listen to him,

and okay this time is wasn't march even though it was so obvious that you guys liked each other, it was himeko AND march.

ok it was mostly march but himeko helped convince welt, that's a big part. anyways! such a romantic.

total sweetheart with you, wraps his arms around your waist while you place your arms around his neck like a new years' kiss happening.

remembers when it's time to get out anyway, so makes sure it's just you two who know what went down, but one arm still around your waist, to let march and himeko know their plan was a success, he already knew what they were planning,

he just let it play out, honestly didn't think they had a plan so the bottle would really land on you and him. was it.. really just by chance..?

march is over the moon with himeko celebrating you and him finally being together, honestly the people who cheered you both on the most during your dating phase.

i forgot but his kind of kisses are long lasting, patient, and.. i don't really know how to explain this but just super genuinely passionate. honestly you guys probably went more than just 7 minutes... and maybe more in the bedroom? only if you want of course!!

𝐕. Gepard ꒱

has never kissed anyone before, like other than kisses on the cheek, or forehead, he's never done that stuff.

this time the person who set you two up for this was his dear sister, serval.. plus a bit of march, because march would!! serval asked for her help anyway.. new to kisses, and new to relationships / romantic feelings,

so please guide him, so precious when he does confess, it feels like it's scripted almost honestly. but he's really so genuine with it i promise, probably starts as a kiss on your cheek, and escalates from there.

probably a really messy kiss, but just tell him he did great and that you feel the same, sprinkled with i love you and kisses all over his face, you both end up going out the room holding hands <3

march and serval are the happiest people, like parents really, all in all he's really happy you accepted his confession, serval is so happy, even gepard takes you home after the party finishes up, all that cheesy stuff like a kiss before he goes on the doorstep, <33

𝐕𝐈. Jing Yuan ꒱

who invited this hottie to the party though!!!! anyways, he's so calm and sly with it too..

he the type to put your hair behind your ear and whisper how much he loves you, and joking around on how it took you so long to realize it, then his soft lips crash into yours, aa he's such a hopeless romantic the whole moment felt like a dream <3

has kissed a fairly okay amount of people, he probably smells like strawberries and cherry blossoms. or maybe trees, either of those, and his lips are super soft,

and it's like he's always prepared for a kiss, especially when it's from you, and this time no march didn't plan it, more surprised than you are when she sees the dark hickeys scattered on your neck,

lowkey you started smelling like him too... that's at least what professional matchmaker march 7th said!

𝐕𝐈𝐈. Blade ꒱

it's probably kafka who set you both up instead, she knows blade liked you for longer, can't tell if you feel the same, to be frank, and that's impressive because she can usually read people pretty well. but she thought you both were a match made in heaven!

but it took you so long to see his obvious hints, ever since you joined, you really hadn't realized after the asking of what you love, what flowers you like, what's your favorite food, literally throwing the smoothest pickup lines at you ever?

hell i'm not even that blind and i have glasses (i am that blind)

kafka shoves you both into the closet really fast and waits outside in excitement

"oo i hope they're gonna be together now after the 10 millionth hint <333!!! what do you think silver wolf?!"

"what if they end up having sex what then-" cut to the part where he's pinned you to the wall and making out with you really harshly, probably degrades you a bit,

will leave hickeys, and bites your lip when you guys kiss. lots of tongue action, honestly is not shamed at all, is willing to strip you

like legit is chasing for your lips, bro DOES NOT play.

'till kafka opens the closet doors super happy and giddy

"you guys together now or what??" after pulling you both out of the closet, hickeys painted on your skin, blade's face tinted ruby, and eyes glowing red,

"what if you just left them there in the closet, maybe we would've had a kid on board joining us-"

overall um, kafka and silver wolf are happy (and relieved) you guys are together now plss stop being blind.

𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈. Argenti ꒱

i read a little bit on his wiki that he's described as forthright, and forthright implies straightforwardness, honest, direct, and outspoken. so i think while in the confined space you both, he'll get straight to the point about his feelings, maybe a lil blush here n there.

trust me though, when argenti, a literal knight of the knights of beauty, is in love, he's in love. like he means everything he does for you in the best way possible. oh and his love language is definitely words of affirmation, and acts of service.

type of guy to hold your hands and get real close to your face to say all he has to tell you

and you know how it mentions in his story that he's very loyal to the missing aeon of beauty, i know, i just know as soon as he finds the one, he'll stay with them for a long time, even if its just one sided, because he knows that you were the one, even if you didn't think he was for you, he just knows his heart, and his soul (or at least a big part of him) that he belonged to you

kind of similar for the way he feels about the aeon of beauty iykwim. but he definitely is a loyal man, that's all i'll say. ok back to the 7mih stuff

saw the clip of him getting onto the astral ship thingy so i like to think the trailblaze gang made allies with him and like

ok well just go with it, march knows about his lil thingy for you, even if to others (himeko, dan heng, and welt) it seems like he just cares about you a lot, more than others. march just has a sixth sense for love (especially if its mutual pining, which is both of you)

march definitely put a little bit of metal on the bottle and put a little magnet on the floor to the both of you cause that bottle never landed on both of you at the same time sighhh

anyways, like i said, straightforward, and honest confession, just one kiss in that closet though.

actually even if it was only one, if you accepted your confession, expect to receive more later, and in the bedroom.

oh but march is proud, happier than ever

𝐈𝐗. Luocha ꒱

i have a lot to say about this pretty man, very similar to welt + argenti, experienced dilf, great kisser^3!!

its dan heng + sushang as your matchmakers today!! definitely met you while dan heng was looking for the trailblazing gang, sushang js thought you n luocha were cute tbh

the same as argenti, will love you for an eternity, and will stay loyal even after death and in life now.

why.. how.. who convinced bro to play 7 minutes in heaven with these goofballs (astral gang)

it was sushang and dan heng and march btw!

definitely planned this for it to be on midnight in the last days of december............ corny!! ok but to be fair luocha was pretty set on the plan too, just hoped the bottle would land on you when it landed on him.

first 2 minutes in the closet, silence and awkwardness till he speaks up

the way this man confesses..... SO SWEET MY LITTLE BABY UGH,, not necessarily straight to the point, beats around the bush a little, kind of is just like 'so ive been wanting to tell you something for a bit but idk if i should'

'promise you won't be mad?'

once he actually tells you everything, it's kind of like a word puzzle because he's very poetic, he's been preparing for this moment for more than just a few weeks, credits to sushang

asks to ring his arms around your waist while he's behind you in this dark closet

and then asks if he can kiss you while he does

maybe more than just one kiss was shared in there, but 5 minutes wasn't enough for this poetic man's long ass confession and his plans (to make out w u)

sighh

march and sushang would be jumping like the sheep in my dreams jumping over a fence when the lil smirk on luocha's face when you both get out

lol wait sushang as a sheep

i died while redoing some of these

[minniesmutt]

hai hai haii bangchan + mamacita 👀

﹙ 🪐 ﹚

☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐦𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐚

☾ ━━━ PAIRING: BANG CHAN X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: MAFIA!AU, MAFIA BOSS! CHAN, MISOGYNY, GUNS, ORAL (F. REC), FACE RIDDING, UNPROTECTED SEX, ☾ ━━━ WC: 1.2K ☾ ━━━ NOTE: not me listening to MAMACITA when you sent that hbjad ☾ ━━━ send me Chase Atlantic songs and a member to write a blurb about ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog

     The only person Chan trusted more than his seven friends was his girlfriend. Especially when he needed to give people a little push. Maybe because she was just the right level of crazy to date— let alone join his gang— a mafia boss.

     He had her on his arm at a banquet for the underground world. Security was tight for the event and Chan knew coming in, he was fine if someone tried something. Y/n stuck close to him the whole time. Her arm wrapped with his while she held a glass of champagne in the other. He watched how many other men looked at her as they walked by. It boosted his ego more.

     “Mr. Bang! How nice to meet you finally!” Something he’d heard all night

     “Mr. Lee. It’s nice to meet you as well,” Chan greeted the target, being the cordial businessman he was.

     It wasn’t long before more men he’d spoken to over the phone had joined his conversation, including some sons who were due to take over their father’s spot. He’d proudly introduced Y/n as his girlfriend to the group when asked. Y/n smiled and gave a small wave to the group.

     “How do you manage to pick up such a pretty lady Mr. Bang?” One of the sons asked

     “Pure luck,” Chan answered

     “You have her well trained. Been quiet as a mouse all night.” Mr. Lee joked causing the other men to laugh

     “Maybe you’re just not worth speaking to Mr. Lee. Your fourth wife seems to think so at the moment,” Y/n smiled as she sipped her drink

     “Excuse me?” Mr. Lee looked shocked

     “Obviously not trained enough,” Another remarked

     “You let her speak this way, Mr. Bang?”

     “I prefer she does,” Chan smiled

     Chan didn’t worry about his girlfriend mouthing off. He’d thought it was attractive to watch her do it to others. It’s how things seemed to get done.

     “And you’re the current head of the underworld bosses? Can’t believe you have such a mou—”

     “You can finish that sentence if you prefer glass in your throat,” Y/n interrupted

     The look in her eyes alone kept the men silent for a moment.

     “I believe the council will need to discuss our leadership now,” Mr. Lee said

     “You’re just looking for an excuse to take out Chan, Mr. Lee.”

     “I most certainly am not!”

     “It’s really amazing what a few high ranking members of your family will say with a good drink and a pretty face in front of them.”

     “I beg you’re pardon?”

     “Then get on your knees and beg.”

     Y/n watched as he reached behind and pulled out a gun. Point it at her, which just made security— all who worked for her boyfriend— pull theirs out and surround the group.

     “Thank you, for showing you’re true colors, Mr. Lee. If any of you would like to join Mr. Lee, please feel free too. But let this be a warning not to question my leadership.” Chan smiled

     One of the security guards grabbed the gun from the man while he was escorted to a different room.

     “You let yourself get—” one of the sons started speaking put was cut off by Y/n’s champagne flute colliding with his head

     “Deal with them,” Chan sighed and escorted his girlfriend out of the room. Bringing her back home and carrying her up to their room.

     “Chan!” Y/n squealed

     “What?” He laughed as he walked up the stairs

     “I can walk.”

     “Mm, but I know you’re feet hurt from those heels baby.”

     Chan opened their bedroom door before setting her on the bed and kneeling infront of her. He quickly slipped her heels off and set them in their closet. Y/n smiled as he turned back to her. “I’m so glad I get to call you mine,” Chan said as he crawled over her and pressed his lips to hers.

     Y/n moaned into his mouth and pushed his blazer off his shoulder. Their hands roamed the other’s body, pulling off the fabric of the clothing. Tossing them somewhere in the room for someone to deal with later. Y/n managed to get her boyfriend on his back as she grinded herself against him. 

     “Let me prep you baby girl,” Chan said as she kissed down his neck

     “Let me ride that pretty face tonight?” Y/n asked

     “Whenever. Get up here.”

     Y/n moved up his frame. Wet pussy hovering over his face before he pulled her down to his mouth. Tongue sliding into her and coating her walls with his saliva. Y/n grabbed onto their headboard. Rolling her hips against his face, nose hitting her clit while his hands gripped her ass. 

     Y/n moaned into the large room. The tip of his nose hitting her clit with each roll of her hips. “Channie.” 

     Chan moaned into her as his hands had migrated to her hips and helped her rock against him. Her moans were muffled from him by her thighs. Her legs got tighter around his head with each swip of his tongue and nose.

     “Need you inside, Channie,” Y/n moaned

     Y/n peered down at him. Eyes closed as he ate her out. Enjoying the taste of her to the fullest. Chan kept her flush against him as she whined. The knot in her stomach tightening with each motion. Y/n moved her hands to grip his wrists. Holding on to him as he orgasm washed over her. A loud moan ripping from her throat. 

     Chan helped her through the high he set off before letting her off his face. Y/n sat up a bit and caught her breath as he moved her back over his hard cock. Y/n lifted his leaky dick from his stomach, positioning his tip at her entrance, and slowly sinking down. Chan held her hips as she sat down on him. Watching her head roll back as she took his size. 

     “Such a good girl for me,” Chan praised her 

      “Only you,” Y/n hummed as she placed her hands on his chest. 

     Slowly she started bouncing along his shaft. Chan took in the sight of her. Just like he always did in bed. His hands caressed her sides as she squeezed him just right.

       His hands grabbed her hips again as she picked up her pace. Helping her bounce on him as her nails left crescents into the skin. Dragging her nails down his chest. Chan moaned under her as she smiled down at him. Dick twitching inside as she clenched around him for fun. Rolling against him as Chan tilted his head back into the pillow.

     “Fuck baby. ‘M close,” Chan moaned

     “Fill me up Channie. Pretty please.” Y/n begged 

     “Whatever you want.” Chan sat up and pressed his lips to hers.

     Y/n wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Her tongue slipping into his mouth and playing with his tongue as his hands gripped her hips tighter. Burying himself inside her as his orgasm washed over him. Whimpering into her mouth as she tried rolling her hips against him.

     He flipped her onto her back, leaning down to her neck, “You’re turn baby.”

☾ ━━━━━━ M.LIST    TIP JAR

☾ ━━━ please support writers by reblogging and/or leaving feedback

☾ ━━━ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: @lakoya @lilyuwon @jaiuneamesolitaiire @caitlyn98s @gimmeurtummy 

@innieandsungielover @rylea08 @20crowsinahoodie @kpopsstuffs @moonlight-the-writer 

@seungmonggg @fearnotfimmie @the-sweetest-rose @stars-garden @bandolls 

@asahisimpnation @vegetablesarefuntables @bl00dyv3inss @skzbiasot8 @chanssmiles 

@avyskai @kangyeonie @ninisoul-space @dessianna1 @kibs-and-bits 

@aaliyaoaoah @palindrome969 @realrintaro @tinyelfperson @minhwa 

@redstayrosie @caravm @armystay89 @skzhoes @kiko-o-luck 

@cookiesandcreammy @alice-went-away @boldy-49  @chrizzztopherbang  @rockstarkkami 

@wh0re4mingi @rhonnie23 @hrskt @emollvvr-blog @tinys0ftie 

@soulphoenix1618 @highkeyinlovewithhanjisung @nahitzstacyy @palindrome969 @thatgirlkay 

© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 17, Unanswered - Pt. 5*

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, Explicit Dream!Sexual Content - Minors: GTFO; I don’t serve your kind here. (dream!oral (f-receiving))

Word Count: 1.3k

Previously On...: A conversation with Steve informed you that Bucky was fine, and on his way back to the Tower. He just couldn't be bothered to contact you, it seems. Cool. Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool.

A/N: Yay, look at that! Some more smut! Finally! Last part of Chapter 17. You know what that means, friends! BETRAYAL IS AROUND THE CORNER!

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when I update, please enable notifications from my Blog page!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

You went about the rest of your evening and night as normally as you possibly could to distract yourself, checking up on the work emails you’d missed while you were ill and approving some requests for PTO. You’d listened to some back episodes of a True Crime podcast you’d been meaning to catch up on and aimlessly browsed Reddit, making some anonymous posts debunking some of the more outrageous relationship theories that were popping up concerning you and Steve. You were most definitely, for example, not having his super soldier baby.

Fortunately, you only threw up once during that time, and you were optimistic when, after you did, your stomach growled with hunger. You headed to the kitchen, considering potentially grabbing a plate of Thai leftovers from the other night, but remembering your reaction to Nat’s to-go plate, you opted instead to just make yourself a turkey and cheese sandwich. Best not to risk a repeat performance.

Once you made it back to your room, you decided you’d been awake long enough and called it a night. Checking your phone one last time, you were disappointed, yet not surprised, to see you still had no new messages from Bucky. As you put your head down on your pillow, you could only hope tomorrow would bring better tidings, and soon, you were asleep.

You were dreaming. And oh, it was a very good dream, indeed. You weren’t exactly sure what you were dreaming about, you just knew that delicious tension was building low in your stomach and, fleetingly, you hoped it was the kind of dream where you actually got to finish, and not the kind that left you frustratingly hanging over the precipice without actually falling. Those dreams were the fucking worst.

The dream slowly came into focus, Bucky’s head between your legs, his soft hair brushing the sensitive skin of your inner thighs as his tongued fucked you, the hardened muscle working its way in and out of your cunt as if drawing life from it.

You moaned in your sleep as his tongue slipped from your weeping hole, only to latch onto your clit, dancing circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves. You felt your back arch off the bed as his thick fingers found your entrance and began working their way in and out of you, the pace growing faster by the minute. God. This dream was so fucking good, you never wanted to wake up. Your orgasm was so close, you could practically taste it.

“Bucky,” you moaned in your sleep. Even as a figment of your imagination, he was good enough to elicit sinful sounds from your lips. The pressure was building. You were nearly there.

“That’s it, doll,” Dream Bucky said, his nose rubbing against your clit. He added another finger, stretching you so damned well. “Almost there, baby. You can do it. Come for me.” His mouth returned to your clit, suckling from it and driving you over the edge. 

Your breath was coming in ragged gasps, the noises you were making positively pornographic without your conscious mind awake enough to dampen them. But Dream Bucky kept working you through your release, rhythm never faltering.

“I think you can give me another one, pretty girl,” Dream Bucky said. He increased his pace, and soon you were falling again, your arousal coating his hands.

When your aftershocks had subsided, Dream Bucky’s hands pulled away, and you whimpered at the loss of contact. But then, you felt your bed dip, felt the solid, comforting presence of Bucky’s body as it crawled up alongside of you, felt his arms wrap around your waist.

You weren’t dreaming.

“Buck?” you rasped, voice still thick with sleep. “Is that really you, or am I still dreaming?” You reached out and touched his cheek, feeling the unmistakably real sensation of his overgrown stubble against your palm.

“I’m sorry sweets,” Bucky said, a devious smirk plastered across his face, “did I wake you?” He was already divested of most of his clothing, down to just a pair of tight, burgundy boxer briefs.

You yawned and raised your arms over your head, stretching out like a cat. “Was I supposed to sleep through that?” you asked him.

“Mm,” he said, kissing the side of your neck and making you shiver, “I’d really hoped you wouldn’t.” He shifted and you could feel the hard outline of his cock pressing against you. It woke you up immediately.

“Why the fuck haven’t you called me back?” you snapped suddenly, all traces of sleep having gone, leaving you with only your anxiety and unanswered questions. “I’ve been worried fucking sick all day long and I haven’t heard a peep from you! You think you can just give me 24 hours of radio silence, not knowing if you were dead or alive, and come waltzing back here with that magic tongue and I’d just–”

Bucky silenced you with a bruising kiss. “Magic tongue, huh?” he said when you broke for air. You nodded dumbly, currently unable to form a sentence with the way he’d just kissed the shit out of you.

“‘m so sorry, sweets,” Bucky said, his hands slowly making their way to the hem of your sleep shirt and pulling up, exposing your breasts to his lingering gaze. “I never meant to make you worry.” He slipped the shirt over your head, and despite your ire, you helped him do it. “Forgot to pack my international adapter for m’ phone.” He began placing gentle kisses to your breasts. “Battery died.” He took one nipple hungrily into his mouth, sucking and nipping at the peaked flesh. “Couldn’t charge it.” Then the other. You carded your hands through his hair. “Think you can find it in your heart to forgive me?”

His hand snaked down your belly to cup your heat. God, he had a way of making you feel so fucking good.

“I might be able to be persuaded,” you breathed as his fingers began toying through your slick folds. But logic soon smacked you like one of Natasha’s “love punches,” and you reached out a hand to stop his movements. “We should probably talk first.”

A flash of panic crossed Bucky’s face, and you wondered if he was worried about the articles. “Did you get my messages?” you asked him nervously.

Bucky nodded. “Plugged my phone in back in my room as soon as I got home,” he said. “Hadn’t seen the articles, but even if I had, I know you of all people would never do somethin’ like that. I’d have to be a fucking moron to think so. I know you’d never hurt me.” He had a far away look in his eyes for a moment, and you wondered if he was imagining you and Steve together.

You reached up to cup his face. “But did you see the other part?” you asked him.

“The part about you being ready to try us again?” he asked with a smile. When you nodded he leaned in and kissed you, a quick, sweet peck. “Darlin’, why the hell do you think I rushed over here to wake you up like that? Couldn’t stand to waste another second.”

“Well, then we better make up for lost time,” you teased, reaching down to slide your hand under the waistband of his boxer briefs.”

“I like the way you think,” Bucky grinned as he rolled over until he was lying on top of you. “I hope you’re not tired, sweetheart, because I got plans to keep you up all night long.”

“You talk a big talk, Barnes,” you smirked as you stroked him, firm and slow. “I hope you can back up your words.”

The look Bucky gave you was absolutely sinful as he reached down to free himself. Pressing the head of his cock against your swollen clit, he kissed you again. “Hold on to something, doll,” he said, nipping at the skin of your pulsepoint. “Cause you’re gonna have to beg me to stop.”

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[oogaboogasphincter]

a bowlful of joel-y

summary: he was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot / and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; / a bundle of toys he had flung on his back, / and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack / his eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry! / his cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! / he had a broad face and a little round belly / that shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly || you never would have guessed who you find stumbling around jackson dressed up as santa claus on christmas eve night, leaving presents for all the kids in town. you take on the role of santa's elf and help him deliver his toys - and land yourself on his nice list just in time for christmas morning.

word count/warnings: 4.8k+ words EXPLICIT (18+ ONLY) MDNI! // reader has insomnia, a pinch of grumpy joel but he’s mostly jolly (at least by his standards), one mention of alcohol/drunkenness, christmas/holiday fluff, a conversation about loss and grief around the holidays (joel talks about sarah), description of panic attacks + healing❤️‍🩹, food and eating (milk+cookies ofc), unprotected piv sex (do as i say not as i write), jackson era!joel, friends to lovers teehee

a/n: merry christmas @lisadean! i'm so so sorry this is three days late, i got a head cold just as i was putting my finishing touches on this and i didn't want to post it without a final read-through :( i hope you enjoy your secret santa gift as much as i did writing it! 🤭🎁 i want to thank all my besties at @pedrostories for organizing this event, it's what introduced me to the blog and i'm so excited and honored to be participating in it both as a writer and moderator this year 💗 i wish all my readers a very happy holidays!! (pls let me know who made the beautiful gif above, i found it on pinterest w no credit ☹���)

It’s Christmas Eve and you can’t sleep.

No matter how hard you try, your shuttered eyes can’t keep.

You toss and turn with increasing agitation,

Thoughts of going downstairs gnawing with temptation.

It’d just be a little peek, you reason,

Of the freshly fallen snow of the season. 

With a huff of exertion and a swaddle of flannel,

You get up and trot down the stairs, passing the candles burning on the mantle.

The decorated tree twinkles with light to emit holiday cheer all through the night.

You push aside the heavy drapes of your window and you see red;

Specifically, a fur-trimmed three piece set.

Astonished by what to your wandering eyes did appear, you lean in and begin to peer. 

You must be being deceived by your eyes, you think to yourself. The apocalypse has brought to life many horrific figments that you wished were bound by imagination, but the magic of Christmas is something that seems too good to be true after such atrocity has ravaged the Earth. Maybe your vision is bleary from your biting insomnia caused by the latter, or you’ve endured enough that your mind is gifting you a glimpse back into some innocent happiness that you feared you lost long ago. To your surprise, the broad man outside doesn’t vanish with the blink of your eye; instead he trudges along in the snow with a harsh sense of reality, his back bent at a painful angle and his feet falling heavily with every step, bearing the brunt of his costumed weight plus the filled sack that is slung over his shoulder. 

Whoever this is - whether it’s a do-gooder or some bloke that had a few too many spiked eggnogs at the Tipsy Bison - it looks like they would appreciate some help. You slip your boots on and head out, wrapping your arms around yourself to cinch your flannel pajamas closer to your frame to shield yourself from the icy midnight flurries. Santa’s back is to you and he doesn’t seem to acknowledge your approaching footsteps. His grunts of exertion are carried on the wind that swirls around you in ribbons: his pack looks even heavier up close than it did from your living room window. You make an effort to announce yourself by grinding your heels into the snow, making each step crunchier than the last. 

For a fleeting moment, you relish the childlike wonder that overtakes you, that this could be the real Santa. His heart must be pounding in his ears because when you tap his velveteen shoulder softly, he jumps in shock. It’s immediately apparent that the erratic movement hurt his back further, as a large hand comes to support the small of his spine and he groans when he straightens his neck. The sack drops from his grasp into the snow below. You’re already apologizing as he turns haggardly on his heel, towards you, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Do you-”

Santa finally rounds on you and your breath catches in your throat. Framed by a faux white beard and the furry trim of his hat are big, gorgeous brown eyes that throw icicles at you with an annoyed stare. His thorough costume fails to work on you - you could recognize those beautiful, baby cow-esque eyes in an instant. A joyous cloud of condensation wafts into Santa’s face as you burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, doubling over with tears in your eyes. 

He steps forward and covers your mouth with a black leather gloved hand, “Don’t you know anythin’ about stealth?” 

The saturation of Joel’s Texan accent increases whenever he’s irritated, tired or relaxed, you’ve noticed, or whenever his controlling grip on stoicism slips just slightly and he’s allowed to return to a more organic version of himself. To his grumbling annoyance, you’ve told him how cute you find it - especially when it’s followed by a blush of tamped-down flattery that crumbles his carefully constructed grimace. 

He lets go of you when you’re able to stifle your giggles to a soft chuckling. You eye his outfit up and down, raising your eyebrow in approval. He tries his best not to mirror your bemused smirk. “ What are you doing, Joel Miller?” you ask incredulously. 

“What’s it look like I’m doin’?” he grouches rhetorically. You patiently await his answer anyway with a grin that spreads to your eyes with every second that ticks by. He eventually secedes with a sigh, his broad shoulders deflating with exhaustion from more than just your affectionate pestering, “‘M… deliverin’ toys to the kids. Getting a present from Santa is a formative experience. No kid should have their magic robbed of ‘em.” 

“Isn’t Santa just one big lie though?” you ask, genuinely. You remember the truth that your friends tried to peddle you while you were still a believer, asking you all kinds of questions as a test to your logic. How is he able to get all across the world in one night? If he’s so big, how is he able to fit down the chimney? Does Santa have to take bathroom breaks, and where?! Most of all, you remember the horror that washed over you when you confronted your parents with your newly-acquired facts, and to your fear, they confirmed the lie. It took you a while to have faith in anything they said after, to the point of absurdity - it took months for you to believe that taking medicine will actually make you feel better when you’re sick. 

Joel stiffens. Some inexplicable reason makes you think that it’s not just because of his aching back and tired knees. His voice is tight, uncomfortable, “Yeah, I guess…” 

He gradually warms back up, his words spliced with tired breaths, by explaining to you that, “Tommy told me that in years past, the adults would leave presents on Christmas morning, under that big tree they decorate in the town square,” he points behind him to the afar twinkling lights with his thumb, “just before the kids woke up. But since we found that fir tree lot about twenty miles out, everybody was able to get their own tree this year. I asked around if they think it’d be a good idea for someone… f’ me… to be Santa. So that all the kids could have the experience we had. Y’know… leave cookies out an’ all that.” He waves his hand noncommittally and looks off to the side like he thinks the whole idea is ludicrous, as if he doesn’t care. As if he isn’t the sweet, kindhearted man who introduced the very idea. 

You fight hard to disguise the enamor that strikes your heart and threatens to leak into your gaze. So you turn to a reliable defense mechanism: teasing. “So… the costume is purely for your own enjoyment then?” 

That pulls a breathy chuckle out of Joel’s chest. “I can’t have the kiddos wake up and see some old man in their house. You gotta keep up the illusion, girl.” He nudges you on the shoulder with his knuckles. When he leans in you can smell his breath, warm and sweet with faint notes of spice and cinnamon. His unprecedented playfulness always throws you for a loop and makes you squirm on your feet, a flustered smile warbling on your lips. 

It strikes you in inappropriate moments like these that you have the privilege of being chummy with one of the most sought after men in Jackson. A man whose charms you’re not immune to, but you guess you’re better at hiding their effect than others are, as Joel tended to avoid those who openly expressed intimate interest. A man who you so desperately desire, but force yourself to hide your attraction for. 

Joel sighs, bending to pick the sack handle up from the ground, “I’m bound to wake them up if I keep fuckin’ lumberin’ around like I am.” You can see how the heavy bag of toys weighs on his back and worsens his heavy-footedness. You can practically hear the alerting scuff of his boots against creaky floorboards, rousing sleeping kids and luring them to spoil their own surprise. “I damn near woke the first one up, ‘cause this fuckin’ sack got stuck between me and the door, an’-” 

He cuts himself off, gaping with offended bewilderment watching you try to smother your laughter. The image of him wrestling with the bag, let alone in a full Santa costume, is simply hilarious. A deviousness glints the smile that tugs on half of his face, “Oh, so you think my struggling is funny?”

“No, it’s just…” you search for a more suitable word but guilt shines through your twisted smile and speaks for itself. He lets the silence fill the space between you two for an uncomfortable stretch, running out your fuse until you can’t hold back your giggling. 

He puts his hand on his hip, fixing his gaze on you with lighthearted scorn, “You gon’ stand there and laugh at Santa ,” he jeers, scolding you for making fun of an innocent, jolly old man, “or are you gonna make yourself useful?” 

For a moment you completely forget why you had come out here in the first place. Joel was legitimately having a difficult time and you had wanted to aid him in any way you could. However, his badgering demeanor has put an equally brattish spin on your helping hand from its chivalrous beginning. You defiantly square your shoulders.

“Actually, I will. I can be like an elf to your Santa. The elves do all of the hard work, anyways. Making the toys, wrapping them, packing the sleigh and caring for the reindeer. And Santa… eats cookies?” 

Joel scoffs, pretending to not like the idea of some help, “Oh, yeah? You and what costume?” He jerks his chin at you, looks you up and down for your lack of costume. It’s hard not to pay any attention to the heat that rushes your cheeks thinking about him looking at you like that under different circumstances. He’s right though: you’ll need a costume to maintain the magical facade. 

A Christmas miracle bestows itself to you in the front yard you’re standing next to: a snowman outfitted as an elf. 

You go over and delicately pluck the pointed hat off of the top snowball so as not to disturb the icy artistry. You pull it down on your head, wiggle, and the movement gives the bell at the end of the point a jingle. “Ready when you are, Mr. Claus.” 

Like on patrols and other tasks you’ve been paired with him on before, you and Joel make a fantastic team delivering holiday cheer in the night. 

You’ll come to a house, quietly padding up the snowy front steps; Joel will sift through his bag for the correct present for the specific child; and hand it off to you to put under the tree inside. The parents in on the trick have left their doors unlocked and their kids have assembled platters of cookies, varying flavors from house to house, with a note of gratitude for their beloved Santa tucked underneath. You can only hope that the kids’ excited jitters for the following morning have worn their energy levels down enough that they’re soundly slumbering so you can pass through undetected. The bell on your hat is a hazardous giveaway to your presence, so you opt to leave it outside with Joel to ensure your drop-off is silent. There’s no chance any wandering eyes will catch you out of disguise, though, because, as quiet and quick as a mouse, you’re in with a gift and out with empty hands in a flash, ready for the next one. 

A couple hours in and you’ve deposited gifts to three quarters of the kids in town. You’ll definitely finish before the Christmas morning sun even thinks about peering over the horizon. Despite the share of labor you’ve accounted for, Joel continues to have a difficult time trudging through the snow, so you both slow down to a pleasant, unhurried stroll to fulfill the remainder of your recipients. 

“You okay?” you ask tenderly, smiling softly at him when he cranes his neck to meet your eyes. He nods, his voice tired and breathy, “Yeah, just… old .” He spits that last word out, with bitterness coating his tongue. The imperceptible shake of his head is impatient, agitated, that his body isn’t up to par with what it used to be capable of. 

Jackson has softened him, there’s no denying that, but you don’t think it’s such a bad thing. You only arrived at the settlement a year ago, a year into Joel’s stay. He had immediately shown you friendliness, a desire to help you settle in, to care for you. It struck you as odd when you heard the stories from other townspeople of what he was like when he was first welcomed in; that he was the cold, standoffish brother of their warm leader, Tommy, that his permanent scowl radiated a sourness, bordering on ungrateful. The par-baked sociability that you were introduced to was apparently underdone; his face flickered with uncomfortability when any affection was pushed on him, whether it was a simple compliment or a brotherly nudge to his shoulder. Joel couldn’t hide himself from you, though. His desire to surrender was so strong, so yearnful, but he constantly restrained himself from the comfort, the love, with an understandable fear that it could all be taken away. 

Accidentally, you forced him to face his fears. He enjoyed your company and soon sought out more and more opportunities to spend time with you until you were inseparable. You began to frighten him when he realized what you were to him, a friend , but it was too late; he couldn’t stay away from you, no matter how loud the loathsome voice in his head screamed for the safety that isolation guaranteed. His biggest source of anxiety now isn’t something reasonable, like clickers: it’s how far into the future he wants to go with you. 

Back in the present moment, you shrug, “Well, I think you’re doing a good thing, Joel. Old or not.” The tip of his nose and cheeks are beet red from the frosty air and itchy costume, but his blush deepens to a magenta upon hearing your words. He diverts his eyes. It’s sweet, in a way, how he has trouble accepting praise even from one of his best friends. You dump more validation onto him, because he deserves it, “The community will really love you for this, you know. I know how much you like your solitude, but it’s nice to see you involved. It suits you.” 

“I guess literally,” he gestures to his suit of red and white and you laugh together. Despite the tarnishes of age and stains of neglectful wear, the costume does fit him nicely. Just like the infamous poem, it complements his eyes that twinkle under the starlight and his merry dimple that deepens when he laughs. He even has the little round belly to complete the look, though you’re sure he has as much disdain for his softened shape as you have love for it. 

The night hours wane in proportion with the fun you’re having. Joel’s silent for a while, and though quietness is never awkward between you two, you can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking about. 

You only have a few presents left to deliver when Joel says, “Sarah loved Christmas.” 

You slow down next to him to direct your undivided attention on him in this tender moment, but he waves his hand at you to keep moving along. Always some degree of averse to comfort, you work with him however he’ll let you. He faces ahead into the snow coming down, but that’s not what he’s looking at; his gaze is slightly unfocused, like he goes into a dimension that only he can see. You’ve seen that expression on him before and know that snapshots of memories are drifting by in his mind. 

His voice is happy to match his smile, only wavering with emotion slightly as he shares with you, “She’d always be eager to start putting the decorations up right after Thanksgiving, always so giddy to go to school and do all the festive little projects they had ‘em doin’. She’d get so into it, she’d come home with glitter all in her hair,” he laughs softly and so do you. “The fridge would be completely covered with her paintings and crafts by the time Christmas came around…” 

He stops in his tracks to take a sharp breath in, looking up to the stars with damp eyes. A touch to the permanent fixture on his wrist - his watch - grounds him and restores his smile, despite the painful tinge it now has. You simply observe him for a moment, give him the patience he needs. Then he continues a bit somberly, “I always got a real tree, I didn’t like none of that fake stuff. I would’ve gone and cut one down myself if they grew better than they did in Texas.” 

A detachedness casts over his eyes. He breathes hauntedly, “Maybe a lot of things would be different if I hadn’t lived there.” 

He sniffles and shakes his head to try and dispel his thoughts, getting irritated that they infiltrated him in the first place. You take a gingerly step forward and lay your fingers over his with impossible tenderness, stroking his quivering knuckles. 

“Sounds like she would’ve loved being your little helper tonight.” A stroke of happiness glimmers across his face, colors him back from his ghostly hue. 

“Yep, she would’ve been all over that.” 

With all of the delicacy you can muster to cushion your shameless, vital honesty, “I bet she would be proud of what you’re doing… of you .” 

You reach into his bag and take out the last remaining present, placing it into his hands so he can be the one to close out the magical evening and deliver the final gift. Joel nods with residual tears in his eyes, “I can only hope.”

“I know,” you reassure him. 

The corners of his mouth, downturned in shame and grief, begin to perk up ever so slightly. It sends you over the moon. A staggering leap of growth for Joel are imperceptible steps to others, but you’re always by his side to assure him that there’s nothing wrong with his pace. 

You’re the one to wait outside this time while he sneaks in. While he’s disappeared for a few moments, you think about how he used to react when Sarah was brought up - or more likely, when his thoughts brought her to him unprovoked. He’d have brutal panic attacks, where his heart would pound violently in between seizures of oxygen, courtesy of his crippling lungs. He’d be rendered debilitated for days afterward, trying to collect his shattered remains and haphazardly piece himself back together. 

But now, as he slowly closes the door behind him and turns to join you, his commendable progress frays your heartstrings. Though his eyes are still hurt and his heart still gives him problems, he’s able to talk about his daughter with unbridled joy . Her memory is no longer an abyss of torturous guilt; it has blossomed to remind him of all the happy days she did have, of what a beautiful soul she was and can continue to be in his heart. He’s realizing that instead of solely mourning her wrongful death, he can carry on her life by spreading the joy she instilled in him all those years ago. You view it as one of the highest honors to hear about her and to be friends with the wonderful man who raised her to be the kind girl she was. Seeing Joel’s misery lessened by any number makes you so happy you could cry. 

Joel comes up to you and concern crosses his face, “What’s wrong?”, upon seeing the gleam to your eyes, putting a heavy hand on your shoulder.

“Nothin’,” you say with a shrug and a proud smile, subconsciously parroting his accent.

“Congratulations on another successful year, Santa,” you hold up your hand for a silly high five. Joel obliges with a resounding chuckle. He intertwines his fingers with yours, holding your hand long after the celebration. “Couldn’t have done it without your help,” he mumbles sheepishly, “Thank you.”

Since you were the one picking up Santa’s slack for the most part tonight, you were also the one to take bites of cookies and sips of milk to leave as evidence of your visit. It only dawns on you now that Joel hasn’t had any treats the whole night. What a holiday abomination! 

“I think Santa is entitled to his fair share of payment,” you playfully nudge at Joel’s belly and he swats your hand away with a grunt. “I made some cookies of my own, and I have some milk to pair if I’m remembering your tastes correctly.” He shakes his head, rolls his eyes. “Wanna come back to mine for some?” 

Joel squeezes your hand in his, “Sure.” 

The morning sun still has a few hours left to sleep by the time you and Joel cross your threshold. The house you were gifted in the center of town is small, but it’s a haven nonetheless. When you first moved in, Joel was assigned to check all the inner workings and help furnish, but most importantly he helped you return to yourself: what colors you liked and didn’t like, which way you preferred your living room to be arranged, where you wanted your mugs stored. It was incidental, trivial things, but their impact was seriously underestimated. He helped make the little blank-slate house yours. 

He enjoys being in it as much as you do because he’s constantly surrounded by you and the evidence of your habits and patterns. The rings of coffee staining your side table, next to the bookmarked novel on the arm of your couch. The shoes dropped unceremoniously by your front door. The dish towel powdered with the flour of cookies you made earlier, their mouthwatering scent lingering in the air with the dry, residual warmth from your oven. He doesn’t know if he wants to consume you or be consumed by you, but either way he knows one thing: he’s bewitched.

In the kitchen, he leans against the counter as you pour him a glass of milk and plate some cookies. The long night’s energy expenditure has worked up quite an appetite in him, so he doesn’t waste any more time and takes a bite. 

“You have to dip it in the milk and let it get soft! They’re best that way,” you offer, but he just waves you off with affectionate annoyance. 

From his sloppy eating, a piece of chocolate has smeared itself on his upper lip and into the hairs of his mustache. It makes you smile. Without thinking, you lick the pad of your thumb and bring it to his face to clean it off. 

Joel’s lips part, as if with practiced ease, so you can really get in there. It’s so natural , so domestic between the two of you; it’s startling. His eyes are on you and you can feel them, watching you with brazen intensity as you prod the plushness of his lip, but you keep your own gaze focused on your work. 

You flicker a fatal glance into his. Joel wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you in for a kiss that’s a strange mix of gentle and intoxicating. Just as it registers in your brain what is happening, he’s breaking away and it makes you want to cry.  

“I’m sorry, I should’ve asked first, goddamn fool …” he grumbles to himself. He goes to remove himself from you further, but you pull him right back by the chest of his t-shirt that’s damp with sweat. 

“You should’ve.” You press your lips to his with ravenous fervor. 

You pull him to the living room, to the chair that he picked out for the space when you first moved in. The soft suede reminded him of you, he had said, and you didn’t realize what his true meaning was until now. His fingertips skim over your exposed skin, addicted, yet tentative in their touch of such preciousness. 

You swiftly rid him of the rest of his costume down to his underclothes and he soon follows to undress you until you’re left in your base layers. You’re practically shaking with need, wishing you could take your time with him but you’ve been pining after him all night (really, ever since the moment you laid eyes on him over a year ago.) That goofy costume couldn’t hide his delicious figure and he makes you delirious now that he’s exposed; his broad, inviting chest; his sexy, burly arms; his cute little ass. 

He shares your desire’s impatience. He falls onto the chair, pressing against the back. You climb into his lap, straddling his thighs, and wrap your arms around his neck to pull him into you for another desperate kiss.

One of his hands balances you on your hip and the other fumbles with his belt buckle frustratingly. He groans impatiently into your mouth, but your aid is being dispersed elsewhere; your fingers are tethered to his hair, brushing it and grabbing it and pulling it. 

Finally he solves the metallic riddle and you both sigh in relief when his stiff length is released, slapping against your thigh. You reach down and stroke him from base to tip a couple times, making his eyebrows scrunch in pleasure. This is going to be quick, you both know it, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be enjoyable. 

You’re just as near to bursting as Joel when you sink down onto him, inch by glorious inch. He digs his heels into the floor in preparation to fuck up into you, but you beat him to it and begin to ride. He groans loudly, his arms constricting around your waist and burying his face into your neck. He’s holding you so tight that you can barely move; it makes your thighs burn deliciously with the amount of effort you have to put in to keep up your pace. You work up a sweat to rival his as a fresh sheen breaks out on his brow. 

Combined with the heated passion, there’s an enamored twinkle in his eyes, an adoration. One that screams that four-letter L word, the one that his brain wants to profess to you from rooftops but that his heart can’t work up the strength to say it and make it real. 

The holidays are run on magic, anyways - you’re content to give him all the time he needs. 

“Please, Joel,” you whisper breathlessly into his ear, wanting his body if you can’t have his heart just yet. That does him in; his hips stutter beneath you and his warmth fills you up, radiating up from your core until it tickles the underside of your pounding heart. Your own release is brought on by his sly fingers against your clit and it seizes your movements, rippling in tantalizing waves from head to toe, until you’re reduced to a puddle in his arms and slump against his chest. 

Hazy with exhaustion and a potent shot of dopamine, you barely register him tucking a blanket around you before you succumb to some much-needed sleep. 

The Christmas morning sun breaks over the horizon a few hours later. Amidst your throes of passion in the darkness of night, you hadn’t realized your front window’s curtains were strewn wide open. You and Joel both startle awake when a particularly harsh sunbeam glints off of a frosty white snow bank, shooting directly into your unprepared pupils. 

You bury your face into his chest, groaning with embarrassment, “I really hope nobody starts singing that they saw an elf kissing Santa Claus.”

Your newly minted lover chuckles, wrapping his arms around you and holding you ever closer, “Eh, all the kids were asleep. And if any adults saw…,” he shrugs, “Fuck ‘em.”

Now, your blanketed bodies remain safely hidden from the happy kids running about and cheering in the streets with their new toys. Joel watches on with you, smiling despite the sleep deprivation that prohibits you from even thinking about moving an inch. And with Joel beneath you, surrounding you, why would you? 

“You know, I’ve been thinking for a while now…” he continues, running a finger delicately down your cheek, “I’ve been wanting to promote my head elf, but she’s already at the top of my list.”

You poke him in the chest playfully, “Hey, I’m a seasonal worker. Last night was a one-time deal. Well, what happened before we got home was a one-time deal,” you specify. 

Your clarification brightens his smile. “How d’ya think… Mrs. Claus sounds?”

Your heart leaps. “Sounds like just what I’ve been wishing for.”

You settle in to watch the rest of the morning unfold, with the joyous kids playing, their contented parents observing, and the snow swirling in the air in dreamy trails.

“Merry Christmas, Joel.”

He presses a tender kiss to your forehead. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

summary excerpt from “‘a visit from st. nicholas” by clement clarke moore

main masterlist ♡ join my taglist!

💘taglist: @pascalpanic @melody13522 @tenderwhat @maievdenoir @pedrostories @uncassettodiricordi @harriedandharassed @scentedcandletidalwave @joelsflannel

[and-claudia]

Against All Odds pt.6 (Joel Miller x fem! reader)

Warnings: more angst

General Warnings for later on: The main story will have an age gap between Joel and the reader (Reader will be 25 once we get to the main storyline), this will also be your warning that it will eventually be an x pregnant reader (if that's not your jam, I'm sorry) there is also going to be more graphic/trigger parts later on so please always to be sure to read the warnings BEFORE reading. This story will also be 18+ and TO BE ON THE TAGLIST YOU CAN NOT BE AN AGELESS BLOG (i do actually check that) also there first hand full of parts are all prologue so Joel won't actually be in it for a bit

word count: 4000+ (sorry this one wasn't as long, this ep is more about Bill and Frank so there wasn't a whole lot to work with and I wasn't sure what to add either)

Taglist Sign-Up (read my rules carefully before filling it out)

gif not mine

We walked along in a deafening silence for about two hours, no one daring to say anything. We stopped to eat, but none of us seemed to actually have an appetite. It wasn’t until after our short break that someone finally spoke up. 

“So how much further do we have to go?” Ellie asked. 

“We’ll try to go another hour then finish the trip tomorrow.” Joel said, throwing his bag over his shoulder. 

“Get to the river and stay there for the night?” I asked and he only nodded. 

He began walking without another word leaving me and Ellie to follow him. Once again, we were thrown into silence. We made it to a clearing beside the river as the sun began to set, making the shadows of the trees around cast us into darkness. 

“We’ll stay here.” Joel declared. 

“There’s no Infected here, is there?” 

“No.” I tried to reassure the younger girl. 

“Sometimes.” Joel said gruffly, contradicting what I had just told her. 

“Rarely. Joel has only ever come across one way out here. We’re ten miles from the outskirts of the city. We will be safe, I promise. Joel and I will switch off keeping watch throughout the night.” I said. 

“I’ll keep watch.” Joel said, leaning against a tree with his back to us. 

I walked over to him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, “Joel, you need to get some rest. You stayed up last night on watch. I can help watch.” 

“No, Tess and I kept watch.” He snapped as he corrected me. 

I sighed, “Joel, I know you’re hurting, but please don’t take it out on me. I had nothing to do with that. I’m sorry, I really am but we need to keep going. That’s what she wanted.” 

“You’ve realized when she got bitten, don’t you?” He asked, looking forward still. 

“No…” I hadn’t really thought too much about it. 

“I’ve been trying to figure it out this whole time and I think I got it. The only time it could have happened was in that damn museum. And it got me thinkin’... maybe if I wasn’t so focussed on protecting you, then maybe we wouldn’t have gotten separated. Maybe that clicker wouldn’t have gotten her.” 

I dropped my hand, “You- You’re not seriously trying to blame me for Tess getting bitten? Are you?” 

He didn’t answer my question just turned around and squatted down to get his canteen. 

“I am going to go fill my canteen. You and Ellie should probably do so soon or you’ll have to wait until the morning.” He said as I stood there stunned. 

After he walked off I walked over to where Ellie was sitting and sat down near her. 

“Dude, are you okay?” 

I only raised an eyebrow in response to her. 

“You look pale… oh please tell me you’re not gonna hurl again.” 

I shook my head. 

“Wait, what were you two talking about?” She asked realizing this had something to do with the conversation I just had with Joel. 

“He’s blaming me.” I said quietly. 

“For?” She asked clearly confused. 

“Tess.” 

“How?! It’s not like you’re the Infected who bit her.” 

I just shrugged. 

“Do you need to refill your water or can you wait till morning?” I asked wanting to change the subject. 

“I can wait.” 

I nodded, “Get some rest, we’ll get you to Bill and Franks tomorrow.” 

What I didn’t mention though was that I had just made the decision to stay with them as well and let Joel go back to Boston alone. 

After a while of trying to find a semi-comfortable, or more so tolerable, position to sleep against the tree I was leaning against I fell asleep. Despite what he had said earlier I had set a two-hour timer on my watch and had gotten up when it started going off, ready to take over watching out for our little group. But when I offered, Joel gave no answer and after a few attempts, I just gave up and walked back over to my spot to go back to sleep. 

The next time I woke up, it was just after dawn and Joel was nowhere to be seen. I panicked for a second thinking he just left us, but I knew he would never actually do that, no matter how pissed off he was with me. I figured he probably went off somewhere to go to the bathroom or something so I decided to be productive and go ahead and refill our waters down at the river. I grabbed all three of our canteens and began to walk down to where the water was deeper so I wouldn’t get dirt in them. 

When I got there I was surprised to find Joel there. I didn’t say a word or get too close. My plan was to refill the waters and that is what I was going to do. 

“You’re up early.” Joel commented upon seeing me. 

I only hummed in response. 

“Did morning sickness wake you up?” He asked. 

“Nope. I feel fine, Joel. Just refilling the water.” I said, closing one of them and grabbing the next. 

“Let me get the last one.” He said reaching for it. 

“I got it. I don’t need your help.” I snapped. 

“Is the girl awake?” He asked after sighing. 

“Ellie,” I emphasized her name, “is still asleep.”

He just sighed again before standing up and walking back to where Ellie was at. I finished up filling the last of the canteens before collecting them all and heading back as well. 

3rd person PoV

Joel got back to where Ellie was now sitting against a tree, awake. He didn’t say anything to her just went over to his bag to grab a small piece of jerky to eat before they left for Bill and Franks. 

“Do you want your jacket back?” Ellie asked, Joel had given it to her to cover up last night. 

He shook his “no” before tossing her the pouch of jerky for her to take a piece as well. 

“It’s not her fault.” Ellie said after a few beats of silence. 

Joel gave her a weird look. 

“Yn, she told me you blamed her for what happened to Tess. You can’t blame her for that. I don’t what exactly you two have going on, but you need to figure it out, and that means you need to realize that she didn’t get Tess killed, I get that you’re hurt but you can’t let that keep you from what you know you gotta do.  I mean come on, man she’s having a baby, don’t you want to be there for her? For your kid?” 

“You’re right, you don’t know what we have goin’ on, so don’t pretend to.” Joel said as he threw his backpack onto his back. 

By the time Yn got back the other two had already gotten ready to go. 

Yn’s PoV

“You ready for a five-hour hike?” Ellie asked. 

“I don’t exactly have a choice do I?” I joked as I handed her her water. 

“Let’s get going.” Joel said, taking his from me as well. 

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Ellie finally broke the silence we had been walking in since we left. 

“I thought you said there weren’t any infected out here?” She asked. 

“Rarely, why?” I answered her. 

“What is he looking out for then?” She asked, referring to Joel. 

“People.” He answered for me. 

“Oh,” The younger girl nodded, “Are Bill and Frank nice guys?” 

I could tell she was just as tired of the silence as I was. 

“Frank is.” Joel replied causing me to crack a small smile to myself. 

“How’d you get that scar on your head?” 

That question made me cringe as I waited to see what Joel would answer. But when he gave no response, Ellie decided to press the matter. 

“What? Is it something lame? Did you like fall down the stairs or something?” 

“I didn’t fall down any stairs.” Joel snapped.

But that didn’t stop Ellie, “Okay, so what then?... ew don’t tell me y’all were doing some weird sex thing and it went totally wrong.” She said, cringing. 

“It wasn’t a sex thing.” I said to her. 

“Okay, well if you won’t tell me, I’m sure I can get Yn to. She clearly knows.” Ellied said. 

Joel sighed, “Fine, someone shot at me and missed.” He said, which wasn’t a total lie. 

“See, that’s cool. You shoot back?” Ellie asked. 

“Yeah.” 

“You get him?” 

“No, I missed too. It happens more often than you think.” Joel said. 

At this point, I reached up and gently grabbed Ellie to pull her back in step with me so she wouldn’t ask any more about what had happened. 

We continued to walk along the path until we came to an old convenient store gas station on the side of the road. I remembered the palace. It was used to stash supplies on runs. 

“Wait here. I gotta grab some stuff I stashed.” Joel said, walking closer to the entrance. 

Neither Ellie nor I listened and continued to follow him. 

“Why do you have stuff stashed here?” Ellie asked Joel. 

“You ask a lot of goddamn questions.” Joel grumbled. 

“Yes, yes I do.” Ellied replied causing me to bite back a laugh, “But you didn’t answer the question.” 

“We leave supplies on routes so if we’re running low on something, we can-” I began explaining but was cut off. 

“No way!” The younger girl exclaimed. 

I turned to see what has caught her eye. It was a Mortal Kombat arcade game. 

“You ever play this one?” She asked as she messed around with joysticks and buttons on it. 

“I never did, but my brothers would sometimes.” I said, stepping up beside her. 

“I had a friend who knew everything about this game.” She said. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah! There’s this one character, Mileena, who takes off her mask and she has monster teeth and then she swallows you whole and barfs out your bones!” She exclaimed. 

“Well, that’s a lovely mental image.” I teased before turning around to see what Joel was getting into. 

“Do you remember where you put it last time?” I asked genuinely since he seemed a bit confused. 

“Yes, give me a minute. I’m just zeroing in on it. It’s been a while.” He said. 

I putmy hands up in surrender. 

“Well then while you zero in on it, Ellie and are gonna look around.” I said. 

“It’s all been picked over already. You know that.” He said. 

“You never know.” I said as me and Ellie began to look around. 

We came up to an open doorway and she hesitated before looking up at me. 

“You think there’s anything bad in there?” She asked. 

“Not besides grumpy butt behind us.” I said referring to Joel and his attitude. 

That made her laugh before she walked through. We walked into a smaller room that just had more debris on the ground. Ellie kicked a piece of cardboard out of the way to reveal a hatch on the ground. We both eyed each other before squatting down to open it. 

We got it open but before we could investigate Joel was calling out to us. 

“You two good?” 

“Yeah!” 

“We’re fine!” 

We yelled back. Then we turned back to the opening we had just found. It was pitch black and we couldn’t see anything inside of it. 

“How deep do you think it is?” She asked. 

I shrugged before grabbing a piece of debris and dropping it in. It quickly hit the ground so it wasn’t too deep. 

“I’m going to go down there.” Ellie said, already taking off her bag. 

“No, you’re not. I’ll go. You stay here.” 

“You have precious cargo. I’ll go. Look I’ll flip that trash can over and give myself an escape route.” She said. 

“Joel is going to be pissed if I let you go.” I said. 

“Then you didn’t let me. I bluntly ignored you and went anyways. Wait here, I’ll be right back.” 

Before I could react she had jumped down into the floor. It was only about a minute later I heard the gasps of an infected.

“Ellie, get out now.” I said quietly but loud enough for her to hear. 

“It’s stuck. It’s fine.” 

“I don’t care, get the fuck back up here.” I said sternly but she ignored me. 

By the time I was able to stand up, drop my bag, get my gun ready, and jump down, Ellie was already crouching in front of it. Sure enough the infected was stuck under rubble. I watched as Ellie stabbed it in the head with her knife. 

“Okay, if you’re done playing with that thing, can we go? Joel is going to freak if he finds out you got that close to one.” I said. 

She sighed and stood up before walking back over to me. I could hear Joel calling our names as we climbed out using the trashcan. Ellie went first and just as I climbed out Joel stepped into the doorway of the small room. 

“What the hell were you two doing down there?” He asked. 

“Looking.” I said, before standing up and grabbing my bag. 

“Picked over, my ass.” Ellie said as she stepped passed Joel, proudly showing off the box of tampons she had managed to find down there. 

“You find the stash?” I asked. 

He nodded, “Left the rifle there too. It’s almost out of ammo and I don’t think they’ll have any for it. Practically useless now.” He said. 

I nodded. 

Then without another word, he turned around to walk out. I followed behind him. Soon we were walking again. The silence took over. 

There wasn’t really much to see this far from a QZ. It was now mainly just land. There was an occasional abandoned car or building but other than that it was just nature. It was nice to listen to, but it was also boring. The last time I had walked through here Joel and I were talking the whole time practically now he had barely said anything to me the whole time since we left the QZ. 

Up ahead there was a pretty big hill, I remembered it from last time. There was a plane crashed on top of it. I didn’t particularly like looking at it. Although you couldn’t see anything, you just knew everyone died on that plane. It was eerie to see it. 

“You ever fly in one of those?” Ellie asked. 

“I never did, no.” I said. 

“A few times.” Joel said. 

“So lucky.” Ellie said in awe. 

“Didn’t feel like it at the time. Get shoved into a little seat, pay $12 bucks for a sandwich.” He said. 

“Dude, you got to go up in the sky.” Ellie said, cutting him off. 

I had to admit that she was right. It was pretty cool. You never see planes like that flying around anywhere anymore. 

“Yeah, well so did they.” Joel said, nodding to the crash, before truing and walking down the path.

“Way to be an ass about it.” I mumbled. 

As we continued walking, Ellie continued to ask questions. I answered when I could and listened when Joel would speak. 

“So, everything came crashing down in a single day?” The young girl asked. 

“Pretty much.” 

“Basically.” 

Joel and I said at the same time. 

“How? I mean no one was infected with Cordyceps, everybody’s fine, eating in restaurants and flying in planes. And then all at once? How did it even start? You have to get bit to be infected, then who bit the first person? Was it a monkey? I bet it was a monkey.” 

Her last comment made me laugh a little. 

“It wasn’t a monkey. I thought you went to school.” Joel said 

“FEDRA school. They don’t teach us how their shitty government failed to prevent a pandemic.” She explained. 

“To answer your question, no really knows. There are theories but no one knows with 100% certainty that it came from this or that.” I explained. 

“The best guess is that the Cordyceps mutated,” Joel began, “Then some of it got into the food supply. Probably a basic ingredient like flour or sugar. There were certain brands of food that were sold everywhere, all across the country, across the world. Bread, cereal,... pancake mix…” 

I caught the way his face dropped at the mention of that last one. 

“You eat enough of it, it’ll get you infected. So the tainted food all hits the store shelves, around the same time Thursday. People bought it, ate some Thursday night or Friday morning. Day goes on… they started to get sick. Afternoon, evening, they got worse. Then they started bitin’.” 

“By that night, everything had fallen to shit.” I added as the memories came flooding back. 

Joel nodded before continuing, “Friday night, September 26th, 2003. By Monday everything was gone.” 

I wiped the few tears that had slipped out off my cheeks as we continued to walk. 

“Makes a lot more sense than monkeys, I guess…” Ellied said, clearly unsure of what to say to all the information she just received. 

We continued to walk and I knew what was coming up. 

“We’ll cut across the woods here.” Joel said painting to the tree line. 

“Why? Isn’t the road easier?” Ellied questioned. 

“Yeah, it’s just… there’s stuff up there you shouldn’t see.” Joel said. 

“Well, now I have to see.” She countered. 

“I don’t want you to.” 

“Too bad let’s go.” She said walking out ahead of us. 

“Ellie!” Joel called to get her to stop. 

“Joel, just let her. She’ll have to learn at some point.” I said gently grabbing his arm only for him to pull it away from me as he followed Ellie down the path. 

She was a few yards ahead of us as we walked along quietly. I kept my eyes glued straight ahead not wanting to see what was coming up beside us. 

“Well, whatever it is, I think it’s gone!” Ellied called back to us. She stopped short and turned to her side to see what was in the ditch there. The pit was filled with human bones. Ellie turned to us for answers. 

“About a week after Outbreak Day, soldiers went through the country sides, evacuated small towns. Told you you were goin’ to a QZ and you were… if there was room. If there wasn’t.” 

This time I was the one to walk away without a word. I walked down the path trying to get away from the sight before us. Although I wasn’t from a super small town, my town wasn’t huge. I couldn’t help but think about if we hadn’t of ran that night would me and my family met the same fate as all of them. 

The rest of the walk was spent lost in my own thoughts. Finally, what snapped me out of it was seeing the fence to Bill and Frank’s appear in the distance. I smiled knowing I would be able to sit down and rest my feet soon. When we got to the gate, Joel punched in the code and it unlocked for us. We walked down the road and up to their house. The first thing I noticed was the flowers out front were wilting, Frank would never let that happen. 

It was quiet… too quiet. Joel called out both of their names but there was no reply. My heart began to race. 

“Wait here Ellie.” I said as Joel and I both went to look for them. 

As we walked around I knew what was going on. There was a thick layer of dust covering everything, food in the kitchen was rotting, their garden was being overrun with weeds.

“Joel…” I said, voice cracking. 

He turned to me and shook his head, “No. They are here somewhere. Let’s just check their room.” He said, stepping away to try their bedroom door. It was locked. 

“Joel… look around, they’re not here. They haven’t been for a while.” Saying it out loud made my heart break. 

Before any of us could say anything we heard something at the front of the house. We both rushed up there to find Ellie sitting at a chair reading a letter. 

“It’s from Bill.” She said, grabbing the envelope and reading off who it was addressed to, “To whomever… but probably Joel.” 

Joel took the letter and scanned over it. I watched anxiously as Joel read the letter. His face was unreadable. He didn’t say a word when he was finished, he just held it out for me to take. 

My eyes scanned over the words over and over as if they would somehow magically change. They didn’t. Bill and Frank were gone. I let that set in and read the rest of the letter. The was a “P.S.” at the very bottom. 

“I know you know where the keys to my truck are. Take it.” 

I laughed sadly as I read it causing Joel to give me a weird look. 

“He wants us to take the truck.” I said showing him what I was talking about in the letter. 

I saw the faintest of smiles appear on his face. But just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, and so was he. He turned on his heel and walked out of the house. I sighed and dropped my head. 

“Hey, why don’t I walk you down to the old shops, there might be some salvageable clothes down there. We can grab some, bring them here, wash them, take a shower and get cleaned up before Joel and I figure out the next move.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Ellie said. 

“Alright, come on.” I said as I stood. 

We walked out of the house and I could see Joel just standing at the edge of the yard, thinking. I let him be. He needed time to process, the least I could do was give that to him. It didn’t take long to get down there. Frank had fixed them up pretty damn well and there was actually a decent amount of stuff left behind. I told Ellie to pick out two sets of clothes to bring with us as I did the same. I tried to find leggings that would stretch hopefully once I began showing as well as shirts that would be big on me. Hopefully, we’d be done traveling before it got too bitter cold out. I also grabbed a handful of clothes for Joel to look through as well. 

“You were gonna stay too, weren’t you?” Ellie asked, suddenly appearing beside me causing me to jump slightly. 

I sighed, “Yeah. For the baby. It would’ve just been easier.” I admitted. 

She nodded, “I think he’ll come around eventually.” 

I gave her a grateful smile, “Are you ready to head back?” I asked. 

“Almost, I wanted to show you something I found, just in case you wanted any of it. Come on.” She said, turning and walking away to a different area. 

She led me over to a cardboard box. I gave her a weird look but opened it. Inside there little baby onesies. I felt my eyes begin to water a little. This was really happening, I was going to have a baby. 

“Shit, you okay?” Ellie asked clearly worried she had done something to upset me. 

“Yeah, I’m fine… it’s just kinda hitting me that I am having a baby… like there’s going to be a small human here in a few months… that’s insane.” I laughed, “You pick out 3, I’ll pick out 3, they’re small enough to fold down pretty small in my bag.” I said. 

Ellie nodded excitedly. We both stuck to fairly neutral ones. Once we had those we gathered up everything and walked back to the house. When we got there Joel was sitting at the table, letter in one hand and a glass of some type of alcohol on the table beside him. 

“What’s all that?” He asked upon seeing our small haul. 

“Extra clothes. I am going to wash them, then I figured we could shower, regroup and figure out our game plan.” I said. 

“Sure.” He gruffed, reaching for the glass. 

“Let me go start these, then I’ll show you where the bathroom is.” I said to Ellie. 

Once Ellie was in the shower I went back to where Joel was. 

“I grabbed a few things that I thought might fit you as well.” I said as I took a seat beside him. 

He nodded. 

“What do we do with the kid now?” Joel asked. 

“We take her with us.” 

taglist: (if you filled out a form and aren't on this list that means either a) your blog is not coming up in the searches so I am unable to confirm that you are 18+, or b) you did not follow my rules for being tagged in this fic)

@sexyvixen7

@joelmillerslays

@elliaze

@little-lovely-darling

@swimmjacket

@watercolorskyy

@mserynlarsen

@sebby-staan

@beelanie

@fan-g0rl

@paige96

@pedropascalfanclub

@ameliadraws

@mavs101

@azerty29

@rileyferg

@belliedellie

@rhaenyrasgf

@imcreepininyourheartbabe

@nani-kenobi

@lunas-sstuff

@holb32

@reidsgubbler

@cleocat246

@novamidoriya

@katmae1997

@dizzywinterdaydream

@mrswidowjohansson

@abzidabzy

@givemeth

@morgaussy

@summerchicken

@kelh27

@ayamenimthiriel

@letmehavemyfictionalmen

@everything-isfucked

@emilyjustemily

@drewharrisonwriter

@littlwitchgoblin

@angel4astraea

@vodkawriter

@taz-97

[rainstormwrite]

Good news.

Hello, everyone! I come bearing incredibly good news…

I've finally finished writing the update.

Not only that, but I've also already rewritten POVs and adjusted clunky scenes, meaning that the update is ready to be released.

I would've probably released it without warning you all, so it would've been a surprise, but I just want to give you some heads-up.

Even though the whole project is now over 260k words, the actual amount of content that was added in terms of singular playthrough is somewhere around 15 - 25 full pages (very approximately since I've already lost count because of all that branching and re-reading the same content over and over again), depending on the route and some other variables. As you can guess, this is due to the overwhelming amount of branching, the different personalities of the MC, the changes between said personalities, and stuff like that. To add to that, a big cause for such a large word count increase is the number of times I had to copy and paste some parts of the scene to make slight changes. So, in many places, the content is not entirely new, but rather slightly altered because, at that moment, I couldn't find an optimized approach to make some scenes changeable depending on your choices without copy-pasting them.

So, this whole situation is not very typical, so to speak, because in some other cases, this amount of words would've sufficed for a whole book already. But, in my case, it's just… one conversation. Yes, you've heard that right.

Basically, all that this update contains is the encounter with the crowd that the MC sees after exiting the hut. The new content ends right after the said encounter ends.

After you choose your approach to said conversation (personality of the MC at that moment, put in other words) you then also choose one of the three routes (tell lie #1, tell lie #2, tell the truth). After that, you only get some choices when something that may compel your MC to change what they wanted to do mid-way happens.

I want to highlight that, you don't really get to decide what exactly your MC says on each page. The tone of how they speak and their opinions about subjects and people are all derived from the prior choices you made, starting from whether your MC shook Theo's hand and told the group the truth and ending with whether your MC went into the tunnel and what they thought of Philip's/Burchard death… The MC's behavior may change very drastically just because of one choice you made earlier.

I'll admit, this is a very experimental approach from my side, but that allows me to shape your MC into a full-fledged, believable character without it feeling like you don't have control over them. Maybe my words don't convey my point exactly, but I guess you'll see it with your own eyes.

There are different sets of choices to make in the routes, even though sometimes they may be similar. Each route uncovers some information that the others didn't, so it adds to the replayability.

All in all, this may be a somewhat polarizing update due to my decisions, but I fully understand that and am of course willing to hear your feedback about the new content.

Give me somewhere around 24 hours so that I can set everything up and roll out the update to you all.

Also, there were some old questions in my inbox that I couldn't answer because, quote 'your blog was restricted by our anti-spam control' (I found that out one month and a half later after sending a ticket to Tumblr's support), so here are those questions:

Yeah, I'm okay. In fact, now I'm okay more than ever due to me finally finishing writing this update.

Thanks for catching that! It's fixed now!

Sorry, you two, that I'm answering you only now.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Hello, Anon, this is your Oldie Chinese Diaspora Anon™️. I agree that these are legitimate questions and I would like to thank you for posting them. But I can’t quite shake the feeling that there was something suspicious with the background preamble. Please do not consider this as me doubting your goodwill. Please consider this my attempt to repeat the information that I have come to understand.

I collect Nendöröids. My understanding is that they are made-to-order and they require the handiwork of actual human workers. There are prototyped (and some of them are made) in Tottori, Japan. And the rest are outsourced to qualified factories in China. (More details here:

). Any figure not made in these two factories are considered counterfeits, and there have been multiple PSAs from Good Smile asking people not to buy counterfeits. As far as I know, when it comes to customising Nendös, most artists either use pre-existing, legitimate parts or sculpt their own parts. I have personally seen legit parts for sale on the aftermarket in different countries and I do not see modders who publicly announce that they use bootleg parts. One thing that I do see, however, is that there are legions of collectors – across the world – who advocate against buying bootlegs.

In fact, the most common admonition for Nendö customizers is to not buy the Chinese YMY body because they were bootlegs of the Japanese Piccadö body. (This is a lawsuit that was recently concluded. The company that produced YMY was fined over the V1 body, which was proven to be a counterfeit.)

I don’t doubt that there are unscrupulous customizers who will buy counterfeit parts as a basis for their modded pieces. After all, if these pieces are going to be modded to an inch of their lives, few care (or will be able to know) where the original base came from. But if I was a consumer and commission a modder, I think I -would- want to know where the bases came from. I would feel extremely cheated if the modder charged me for parts and quoted legit prices and sold me bootleg parts. Similarly, since we do not know the composition of the bootleg material, I would also like to remind everyone that the plastics are not the same between the original and the bootleg (which is why the bootlegs tend to be shinier than the more matte finish than the originals). If even the original will bleed plasticizer over the years, I personally do not want know what kind of things the bootlegs will leak into the air around me.

Finally, since you’ve asked in good faith, I think it’s only fair that your questions are answered. Once again, this is just to the best of my ability. Your actual mileage may vary.

One: The “ban hammer” at DoA tend to be rather arbitrary; but they are – on paper at least – very recast-aversive. I do not personally know if you are at risk under the very specific scenario that you’ve set up, but the risk is never zero. You also run the potential risk of people not wanting to sell you their second-hand dolls if you are, at any time, been suspected of owning a recast. It’s a very small hobby, after all; words travel.

Two: This is a very person-specific question – some folks weigh their personal friendships heavier than general morality; others the exact opposite. We have had this kind of conversations in this blog multiple times over the years and there’s no real answer. Perhaps the better question is to ask yourself “why am I asking this question in the first place?” “Why am I afraid of this?”

Three: Yes! Bootlegs of any figure/model/doll/jointed doll seriously hurt the original creator. Honestly, nobody tells it quite like Mr. Savage:

Four: If you buy a full set but only use one part, please consider selling the rest to a legitimate-only after-market business so they can pay you a fair price for it and the rest of the pieces that you do not use can also be sold to folks who need them. What you don’t need might be something very useful to someone else!

~Anonymous

[key201303]

Pairing: Jaehyeong x Reader Word count: 1525 words Warnings: None! Just a bunch of comfort Plot: You’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately because of your bosses. They’ve been asking you to overwork for the past few weeks and even though Jaehyeong asked you to set the limits and tell them you couldn’t overwork anymore in order to stay more healthy, you couldn’t say no to your bosses. Today when you got back home, Jaehyeong was home waiting for you to join him in a delicious dinner. But as soon as you run to his arms and tears start streaming down your face uncontrollably, he cannot focus on the food anymore. A/N: I'm officially coming back! Lot's of thing have been happening that kept me away from writing but fortunately I can say I will be able to slowly go back to writing. Thank you to everyone that is still here and that will read and support my stories from now on, doesn't matter if you're old school or new to this blog ❤️ Also I've noticed there are not much content with The rose and specially with Jaehyeong so here I am, black roses you're all welcome to my blog let's share our love for these guys ❤️ Taglist -> since it's been so long, let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

It’s been a tough day. Not only because your coworker keeps giving you more and more of her work because your bosses have been asking you to stay at work for longer or even extra days. At this point, with this tight schedule you haven’t been able to see Jaehyeong. You even almost forgot how his voice sounded like in real life or how his eyes shined everytime you appeared in his sight. And that made you feel even worse about the whole situation. He has told you plenty of times to set your limits so they cannot exploit you just because you do your work and other’s. But you’re not the type of person to say “no”. It’s like that word doesn’t exist in your vocabulary. Now unfortunately you have to pay the consequences of overworking. “Y/N, I’ll leave some documents I couldn’t finish on your desk, I’m going home.” The voice of your coworker broke the peaceful sound the coffee machine made while preparing your fourth coffee of the day. All you did was check the wall clock that hungged above your heads and nodded, not even looking at her. Once your coffee was ready, you had to go back to work. As soon as you entered your office, your phone screen lit up with a familiar notification sound. “I’m home! Hope you come soon, I’ll make some good food, remember our promise?” The message said. Only then you remember the little promise you made the night before. Jaehyeong was going to finish practice earlier than usual and promised you he would make you your favorite food as long as you finished earlier than usual as well. You felt overwhelmed for a moment. You wanted more than anything else that quality time with the man that owned your heart. And you only had to say “no”.

After a few more minutes of conversation a familiar voice knocks you out of your thoughts once again. “Can you stay a few more hours? Jiwoo’s work need to be finished today.” Your boss said. To be honest, you were tired. Tired of always wanting to go home but not being able to do so because Jiwoo didn’t finish her work. “I have plans.” You said without even thinking what you just said. “But…” Your boss tried to answer but you cut him off. “No buts. It’s Jiwoo’s work, not mine.” You said packing your stuff without looking up. “If it has to be finished today, she should have stayed like I do everyday.” You added getting off your seat and walking towards the door that separated your office from the rest of the building. “I’ll see you on Monday.” You said before leaving the place as your boss and other coworkers looked at you with a surprised gaze. Finally you could feel a huge weight getting off your shoulders.

The walk back home was cold. Hands and nose were freezing tho your ears were warm thanks to the headphones Jaehyeong gifted you a few weeks ago. And not only your ears were getting warm. Your heart was also finally starting to feel warm as you listened to “She’s in the rain”. It never fails to make you feel better whenever you listen to it. (Take some time to enjoy the song before you continue reading)

You finally got home and the strong smell of fresh homemade food filled your body with the feeling of home. And even more feelings appeared as soon as Jaehyeong’s smiling figure appeared leaning on the kitchen door frame. His smile was as bright as light, as sweet as chocolate, as beautiful as a rose and as warm as the sunshine. You couldn’t stop admiring his figure as you walked towards him, hoping to land between his arms and rest your head in the warmth of his chest, near his heart where you belong. His smile grew even wider when his arms wrapped around your small figure. Unfortunately that smile didn’t last long. You could feel the tears falling down your cheeks, getting dried by Jaehyeong’s soft pull over. You tried to stop the tears but you couldn’t. Finally all the stress you’ve been trying to hide was flowing out your body through those tears. “You don’t have to hide your emotions anymore, not in front of me.” Jaehyeong said, tightening his hold, making you hide your face back in the warmth of his heart. “Let it all out… You’ve held it for long enough and I’m here to listen to you.” He added with a low voice, stroking your hair trying to calm you down.

“I have an idea.” He said, a smile appearing back in his lips when you started to feel a bit better. “Let’s go.” He added, grabbing your hand and his guitar. You looked at him confused. “But the dinner…” You tried to say, pointing at the dining room table, full of food. “Food can wait, your health can’t”. He said taking you to the rooftop of your little apartment.

The sky looked beautiful when not much city lights ruined the light stars and the moon had. “How can you know me so well?” You asked Jaehyeong, a small smile threatening to appear in your lips as you still tried to dry some tears that were left running down your cheeks. “Because before dating you, I had to deal with your annoying ass as a best friend.” Jaehyeong joked as he removed the last tear from your cheek with a soft touch, gaining the laugh that was threatening to come out from your mouth. 

“Come on, I’ll let you choose the song for today.” He said once you both got warm and comfy in the small tent you had built for when you needed a stargazing session like the one you were about to start. You immediately suggested ‘she’s in the rain’ and as soon as you started to pronounce the title of the song Jaehyeong cut you off. “You always choose the same one! Can’t you just change for once?” He said playfully laughing. “If you don’t want me to choose then don’t ask me to do so!” You said laughing as well. After some discussion on which song he should play, finally you both agreed on him playing “See-saw”.

His voice was soft, low, not really putting much effort but still taking you to heaven, words flowing through his mouth so effortlessly which made you feel even more cozy. The moonlight hit the perfect spots to make his face features stand out. The silverish light hit perfectly his blond locks, creating an elegant silver hair illusion. You couldn’t focus on the sky. The galaxy his dark eyes held was more than enough that you couldn’t have more attention for something else apart from him. Only then you notice it was not the homemade food the one giving you the feeling of home. Actually it was the thought of him being there for you the one that made you feel home, because everywhere and anywhere would feel home as long as you were together. (Take some time to enjoy the song before you continue reading)

Once he finished singing, his slender fingers kept playing the guitar a bit more as you laid your head on his shoulder. The lack of light, his scent, the soft music his guitar was making mixed with the soft vibrations you felt because of him quietly humming to random melodies was lulling you into a deep sleep. A huge smile appeared on his lips when he noticed your almost asleep figure. “You look so beautiful like this. I’m so lucky you decided to say yes when I asked you out in such a shabby way.” He whispered, pretending to think you were fast asleep and couldn’t hear him. You couldn’t help smiling at his confession which made him act all surprised and disappointed because you heard what he said which made you laugh even more. “This is the girl I missed.” He said. His eyes held so much admiration and love whenever he looked at you. It’s always been that way. You guess Dojoon was right every time he said Jaehyeong would always look at you in a very different way. And it was true. You were the only person living on this earth and probably this galaxy that could see that look in his eyes. Full of love and so fond of you. “Promise you won’t overwork anymore.” He said once you both finished your little stargazing date. “We promised to have a happy life together, you can’t get sick already.” He added as you both entered the kitchen, a small tint of sadness in his expression. Seeing him like this broke your heart. “I promise, from now on no more extra hours.” You said with a small smile, offering him your pinky to seal the deal. But he preferred leaning a bit to close the distance between both of you and place a soft yet full of the love he had for you kiss on your cherry lips. “Let’s go, we have to hit up the food if we want to have dinner.” He said with a playful smirk, leaving you wanting more, just like he always loves to do.

[humiliatingsluts2]

We started talking on Tumblr. She had a pretty small but very dirty blog, and messaged asking to be degraded. We talked more and it wasn’t long before helping her edge became daily sexting, and I controlled everything from when she came to what she wore. At first she was a bit shy about exposing herself and admitting her real kinks, but eventually I had her panting and fucking herself like a bitch in heat. With every day the lust grew: every escalation and challenge met and exceeded. I knew she lived in the UK, but it turned out she was barely two hours away by train. We discussed our locations and our situations casually and hypothetically, neither of us wanting to admit what we really wanted.

As we got more comfortable I asked more about her personal life. She lived in a small city centre apartment with lots of houseplants no dining table or telly. She was single, on Tinder but mostly just window shopping, and didn’t have the confidence to go out and get hit on at bars. I asked for her Tinder profile and told her how to fix it: her bio that previously talked about hobbies and made a joke about barbecue sauce I changed to just “Looking for my Daddy” and I got her to use a photo of her out with friends that showed far too much cleavage and leg. She complained about all the sexual messages she started getting but I told her that was what she wanted, wasn’t it? She couldn’t help but agree, and the next weekend told me she’d sucked a guys cock from Tinder but he was boring and hadn’t texted her back. I knew she wasn’t getting what she wanted so I got direct: if she wasn’t having luck finding the right sort of fuck on Tinder, I could be in her city the very next weekend.

She didn’t reply for two days after that. I checked regularly and worried I’d scared her off. Then, almost 48 hours later: “If you want we can meet, but just for a drink”. That’s all I needed to hear. We quickly confirmed some details and ground rules, I booked trains and a hotel and it wasn’t long before she was asking me what I wanted her to wear, and whether she could call me sir in public. I picked out a short dress and told her the only rule for her was she didn’t cum unless I said so. Since it was “just a drink” that shouldn’t be a problem, right?

It was finally the day. I got on the train, just wearing dark jeans and a grey tshirt. On the ride down I sent her a few messages to confirm when I would arrive, and when I got out I spotted her across the station before she saw me. Her photos had captured the best of her body but she looked even cuter in person. She’d decided to spice up the dress I’d requested with a scandalous set of stockings and suspenders and dark lipstick, almost black. When she saw me she flinched nervously but pulled herself together and we warmly but awkwardly said our hellos. We wandered to the bar she’d recommended, a dimly lit cocktail spot, and chatted small talk about the train ride down and our plans over the summer. She giggled a lot at my worst jokes and I obligingly flirted back.

Once we got to our booth and more importantly got a couple of short dry cocktails, conversation flowed more naturally. She made sure to insist she never normally meets people from the internet – not even Tinder, except that one time. I mostly just listened and let her nervously overshare, making the right noises and asking the right questions. As we finished our first cocktail I firmly interrupted her, “Another one of the same.” My intonation made it clear that it wasn’t a question. A little startled she replied,

“Yes, Sir.” I let it hang for a second and she realised what she’d done and flushed red. As I stood up to go to the bar I gave her what I wanted to be a reassuring smile but might have been more of a satisfied smirk. When I brought back the next drink she gulped down more than half almost straight away. Then with a surprisingly confident look she handed me a bit of black cloth, her panties. I nearly growled and laid them carefully on the table. She lost her resolve for second and asked me to hide them but I refused and told her any servers that came by would see exactly what they were and who’s they were. She practically matched the plush red velvet seats and nodded.

The rest of the date went as you’d expect. She began more confidently using Sir, and we both gradually moved our hands further up each other’s thighs. After four cocktails she was practically panting with anticipation and I gestured for the bill. When the server came over and spotted the panties I slid my hand all the way up to her pussy and she nearly moaned out loud. The server was totally professional and I took my time adding a tip on the card reader while slowly massaging around her clit, enjoying the mixture of humiliation and desperate horniness emanating from her. As the transaction went through I slipped a finger inside her and asked the server if he’d like to keep her panties. The man seemed shocked but I knew he’d eyed her up a little earlier. He furtively glanced around and then grabbed them and stuffed them into his pocket. I casually thanked him and we both stood up. I offered her my finger and, without thinking, she sucked her pussy off it. We didn’t even need to discuss that we were going back to the hotel.

[lovebirdgames]

It is my birthday.

I MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO 30! And wow, this year is flying by! I figured I should give you guys an update on the latest.

First of all, Alex wrote a blog post on the making of Band Camp Boyfriend's soundtrack. It's a really cool read! Check it out here!

Second...as it turns out, it's tough to motivate to work on a game that's already out! I've been making the most of my summer, too, but once the cold weather sets in, I'll buckle back down and finish fixing up some of the bugs. All that's left to do is put in the few voice clips that were missed and figure out the font problem, which seems to be spawning more bugs from messing with it. My goal is to update the game before the year is over.

I actually did try to sit down and do the voice clips this past weekend so I would have some good news for you, but my back is killing me and sitting in a chair makes it worse. (TT_TT)

Once the game is updated, our next goal is to release a digital artbook/soundtrack DLC. I've never put together an artbook so I may have to do some research first! Initially, I wanted to accomplish this by the end of the year, but my secondary goal is to get it out before Band Camp Boyfriend's one year anniversary.

Beyond that...comes the difficult conversation of whether we can justify a sequel for Band Camp Boyfriend or if we move onto our next project. I've already agonized over what to do, the choice is gonna be a real heartbreaker either way, but we definitely need to wait longer before making our final decision. And we'll keep enjoying our time off from game development as well!

Hope you're all having a fun year and thanks for reading!!

[inafieldofdaisies]

WIP Whenever | Tagged by @vampireninjabunnies-blog <3 | Tagging @direwombat @socially-awkward-skeleton @strangefable @shegetsburned @euryalex @poisonedtruth @fourlittleseedlings @nightbloodraelle @aceghosts @madparadoxum @g0dspeeed & anyone that would like to share something <3

Another more chill snippet from Chapter 7 featuring the good times before THE TALK.

It was finally 7 am when after taking a deep breath and mentally preparing herself, Sabrina headed downstairs. John was still sleeping as she made him a coffee, placing the cup on the table next to the couch. She returned to the kitchen, pulling out ingredients as quietly as she could, set on preparing Savannah's favorite things for breakfast. One last meal before normalcy would fly out of the window for her sister. She was making a mixture for pancakes from scratch, her eyes glued to the bright day outside, when she heard John approach, the sound of his bare feet against the hardwood floor nearing her. "Morning again, Deputy." "Morning.", she muttered back, focused on the task at hand, refusing to look at him. He was next to her then, holding his coffee cup as he stole one of the strawberries she had set for cutting on the counter and popped it into his mouth. "What are you making?" "Pancakes, eggs, french toast with honey and cream-" "Anything for me?" She rolled her eyes, "Yes, the strawberry you just ate."

"Deputy.", his tone was playful. "You don't like it, you're welcome to prepare something yourself…" "I can't cook." "No?" John shook his head, mumbling, "Last time didn't go well.", while he washed his hands. "I'm sensing a story there." He chuckled, "We all have our secrets." Then he shocked her by picking up a knife and starting the chop up the fruit in front of him, "I know I'm not as charming as your usual tiny helper, but I can still be of service." His eyes were gleaming at the mention of Savannah. "I will take it." They worked almost in silence with John only stopping to ask what he has to do next. Her sister breezed into the kitchen, dropping her old teddybear into one of the chairs, her hair was a mess of auburn curls. Sabrina was flipping a pancake when she came and hugged her waist, whispering, "Good morning.", in her sleepiness she hadn't noticed John and when she did, she climbed on the counter, sitting next to him as he washed the dishes, "You're still here, John." "I promise I'm not stealing your role, Chef." Savannah giggled, "Shows have guest Chefs, you know. You can be one." "I fear we'd starve then, Savi." "Sav, why don't you set the table, I'm almost finished with breakfast." Once she had done it, she settled into her usual spot, rubbing her eyes as she hugged Mr. Fluffles. It was the name of her beloved plushie from when she was a baby. "Rin-Rin, I had a nightmare." "You want to talk about it, pumpkin?" Savannah nodded, "It felt super real, you weren't here and the Peggies came and they tried to take me away, I dropped Mr. Fluffles.", she paused, catching her breath, the memory no doubt still fresh on her mind. She turned to John, her face brightening, "But then, then you appeared and saved me. I saw your plane too." A moment passed as he watched on intently before he took a seat across her, saying, "They won't show up when I'm around, Savi." The breakfast passed uneventfully, a conversation flowing freely, with Savannah making them laugh any chance she got. For a while Sabrina could pretend it was just a regular morning, that a friendly face had stopped by for a visit, the same way Hartley would drop by for breakfast after a night of partying and the last few days were just a bad dream, and she was finally awake. Yet it wasn't Cal that was sitting next to her but John Seed, nothing about the situation was usual and the nightmare was reality.

[veebs-hates-video-games]

I keep forgetting or not having the energy to do the next one of these. It's going to be two in one again, this time for Glitchhikers: The Spaces Between and Vengeful Heart, which are the two "wokest" games I've played in a while (in a good way).

Glitchhikers is the only thing that's ever given me a dialogue option to declare the concept of the hero's journey to be an act of colonialism (we make fun of Campbell on this blog, and also Jung while we're at it), and Vengeful Heart is probably the most openly revolutionary thing I've played since A Bewitching Revolution (which is also great and you should give it a try).

I played the original Glitchhikers over a decade ago when it first came out. It was only like 15 minutes to go through it once, but it was the exact right thing I needed to see at that exact point in my life, and it's still one of my most memorable experiences with a game ever thanks to that. The new remade and hugely expanded version didn't quite do it for me in the same way, but it was still interesting and had some stuff going for it.

It's very much an experimental art game experience and not something big on gameplay, and it can be a little clunky or frustrating to interact with sometimes as a result. The park section in particular was mostly just annoying for me rather than me getting much out of it.

It can also be kind of on the nose with some of the dialogue and the messages in it, and some of it left me feeling like yeah I've seen multiple posts about this on Tumblr except they expanded on the idea with a thousand more words and it led to a bunch of discussion that added a lot more to it.

When it gets stuff right I really like it though. The train segment of the game avoids those problems entirely for the most part, both because it's a fixed path that makes navigating it a lot easier and because you run into each character multiple times. That latter thing is particularly important because it lets them flesh out the conversations a bit more and spend more time with each idea or theme, which it really benefits a lot from.

I think the final airport section was probably my second favorite. It's a bit tedious wandering around the empty space, and it's kinda blunt with its message, but it did a good enough job presenting the idea that how things are framed and structured matters for how we perceive and think about them, whether it's architecture or stories or ideas. It's a very "I see what you did there" way to wrap things up, but it works.

And then Vengeful Heart is just good. It's a postapocalyptic cyberpunk dystopian VN that manages to be appreciably worse than the way things are in the real world but not by so much that it's not immediately able to be related back to real life. And while the setting and situation are pretty dire, the story itself is about disempowered people joining together to work to do something to change it. Not without struggles and loss along the way, and not with a universally happy ending where everything is magically fixed, but with hope for their actions and sacrifices leading to continued change and improvement in the future.

They absolutely nailed the PC-98 aesthetic better than I've seen anyone do it in a while, and it feels like someone could've made the artwork 30 years ago. A lot of the music is pretty good too and sets the tone well.

Its biggest strength is its characters though, which is always a good thing in a medium and genre that relies so much on them. There are strong women and PoC and queer people and disabled people and student activists and working class union members and more all working together, both learning from each other but also having conflicting ideas and motivations at times, and of course the evil billionaires and militarized cops and private security you'd expect from the genre too. I really liked how a lot of them were handled, and I kept thinking about some of them for days after I finished the story, completely unprompted.

I could see myself going back through the train section of Glitchhikers now and then to meet different characters and see what they have to say, but Vengeful Heart is the one I expect to end up fairly high on my list at the end of the year, and I'm really looking forward to whenever they finish the next thing they've been working on.

[soft--dragon]

💫The End Of 2022💫

Well! That's another year survived, packed up and stored in the memory compartment! Throughout this year I've achieved a lot such as gaining my restricted license, finishing my final year of college, constructed a scholarship-level art portfolio for my design class, and reached a milestone of 100 fics written! My follower count had risen over the last year and I'm so grateful for how many people are interested in my writing and encourage me to continue my hobby. Hopefully next year I'll be able to crack on with other stories and branch out into different fandoms and connect with more people!

Though I will admit I haven't written as much as I wanted to this year; college dragged me away from my laptop constantly and when I did have time to work on fics, my motivation and creativity was drained. The lack of content made me fearful of disappointing you guys, but to my relief you are all so incredibly patient with me and I am very grateful for that <3 Growing a community of people as wonderfully considerate and kind as this has accomplished what I wanted when I made this blog. That was to create a safe space for anyone who needed it and create content to make people happy or feel comforted. That kind of environment was the desired outcome, and I can contently say that has been achieved over the last 2 years :)

To everyone who has stuck with me since 2020; thank you for supporting me since I started writing, thank you for sticking around even if you've left the fandom, and a huge thank you for being such an incredible community of people that I feel comfortable being myself with. My writing ability has grown throughout my time on Tumblr and I am so proud to look back on my works and see that difference - a difference that probably wouldn't have happened if I didn't have such lovely and kind hearted people with me every step of the way. Everything I've written over the past year has been met with such wholesome responses, and I seriously cannot thank you guys enough for that. The fanart, comments, and tag replies are so incredible for me, and words cannot describe what you guys mean to me for that. I've been writing since I was a kid and posting stories on different social media platforms since I was 11. Though despite Tumblr to be known as a 'hell site' of 'trash pandas, caffeinated gremlins and horny robots', Tumblr is where I've felt the most comfortable posting my writing for you guys to read ^^

2023 is gonna be a weird year for me as I won't be taking a course in University, instead taking a gap year to hone my art skills and work to rake in some money for future needs. With some luck, I'll be able to post even more content for you guys and gain some more skill sets for my writing abilities too ^^ I'm so glad I've got you guys along for the ride, you make the story telling experience so much more enjoyable then you realise. And to the friends I've made on Tumblr over the last two years, please know that every conversation we've had I've cherished. I've gotten connected with a lot of people I looked up to before posting my stuff, and that is absolutely wild to me. Quite genuinely, I think I've made more friendships through here then any other platform of social media, and I'm so glad that I have 💙

Once more, - and I'm sure I've said this a thousand times at this point but I have to say it again, - thank you to every single person who's been supporting me. Whether it just be likes on my posts, or keyboard smashes in the tags/comments, it means the entire world to me. You're the best Gems I could've ever wanted, thank you for the memories of 2022

Love from your sleep deprived author; Soft 🫂💙

[good-realtor-bad-realtor-dynamic]

I finally caught up with Succession over the course of this week. In fact, I literally finished S3E9 a few hours ago and I'm still completely thunderstruck.

I actually started season one a few weeks ago but struggled getting past the first few episodes. I reckon it took the writers a few episodes to settle on the tone of the show, to hone in on the correct balance between comedy and drama, and to identify the strengths of their cast so they could write them into the characters.

Once I made it to S1E6 though, I was hooked, and by season two, I was laughing, sobbing, seething and getting my heart broken, all in equal measure, because somehow showrunner Jesse Armstrong had managed to elevate the stories, the dialogue and the characters, and somehow Jeremy Strong had found new and interesting ways to complicate his portrayal of Ken, the only financebro sonofabillionaire loser on tv to have ever broken me, before his brother Rome joined the club, by reaching heretofore undiscovered depths in Pathetic Failure acting...

I was so ready for season three to fall short of the standards set by its predecessor, but it didn't. It may have been slow going in the middle for a bit there, but by the end, all I can think is what a ride. I don't know how it matched them, perhaps even exceeded them, but it did. At the beginning of this season, "Relevant Donuts" planted the idea that what we really want is to see the siblings together on the same side, taking down their father. So when the season finale finally pays that off, and we start to feel hopeful even a little proud of our trio for overcoming their father's machinations, only to have the rug pulled out from under us all in that Godfather betrayal — I'm still reeling. It was not shocking that Tom would do that, given everything he'd been put through, but I'm still shocked. And that is some brilliant writing.

I fully understand now why Charlie and Glenn were so in awe of Matthew Macfadyen's acting range and his seemless transitions from the most ridiculous comedy to most affecting drama (in a conversation from one of those early video episodes of the Sunny podcast). I've only known him from his fantastic performance as Mr Darcy in the 2005 Pride and Prejudice film, and Tom Wambsgans couldn't be further away from that role.

I have so many thoughts about how charming yet sneaky and two-faced Greg the Egg was all along, how that social climbing nature was developed, and how fascinating his dynamic with Tom is, especially as a parallel to the Tom/Shiv marriage. I despise everything that people like Shiv and Roman stand for and yet I can't help feeling so sorry for them as they stand before their father, looking for his love and approval, only to be ruthlessly dismissed, used and humiliated. I don't remember the last time I hated a character more than I do Logan Roy for his manipulative behaviour and the cruel ways he makes his children compete for his affection while claiming to act from a place of paternal benevolence. I can't say enough about Kendall, Siobhan, Roman, Tom, Greg, Logan, Gerri, Frank, Marcia, Hugo and just the whole bloody cast of characters and actors on this show.

As always, the "Jesse Armstrong and Armando Iannucci Uncomfortable Satirical Comedy Universe" of shows and films about fucked-up people, usually in positions of power, does not miss. I'm going to try not to be very annoying about this on my Sunny blog, but hey, it's my blog, so I might actually, at least in the near future since season four is nearly upon us. But I'm also a lazy bastard who hates hitting Post on their drafts. So who knows.

Anyway, I'm likely going to be the obnoxious friend who quotes this show like I do with Sunny and The Sopranos with my mates all the time now. It's already begun irl and I don't think I'll be able to stop anytime soon.

Excuse me while I go down a rabbit-hole of videos featuring the writers and cast of this show now. Maybe Jesse Armstrong will somewhere explain his brain to me.

[dashawfrostart]

This Week In “Time & Again” #24: Well… I’m Sometimes Bad At Naming My Blog Posts 🤷‍♀️ [and a tiny wee bit techy again]

It's high time to make yet another one new blog post with the progress report - but alas, I just keep working and working on everything according to my little list pinned to my desktop, and I am not sure what to report. It's just... steadily going forward. That is all.

Within these few days, I've finished an artwork that will be used as an easter egg on several pages of Chapter 6. As per usual, that will be a reference to an old and fairly famous but somewhat forgotten*-ish* franchise. So keep your eyes open once the chapter is released next year 😉

Mostly, aside from preparing (mentally as well as organization-wise) for GPop Fair quite hyperactively, I'm also steadily working on the cover arts right now. Which is odd. I don't remember myself working on the cover arts PRIOR to working on the chapters themselves. Oh boy, things sure change. Usually before, as a general rule of thumb, I worked on the cover arts last. Chapter 5 was a very good fresh example. Although I have the most cover arts sketched in my sketchbook (usually they have multiple versions sketched, and yet everything is still WIP until I decide on something concept-wise for sure), I usually set to work on them later on as I could see the full pictures of the chapters. Suddenly, I came up with excellent ideas for the cover arts for both Chapter 6.1 and 6.2. And both of them will strongly refer to a famous franchise that bears an incredible importance in the history of development of "Time & Again". More on the matter in detail I will probably write a paragraph for either Collector's Edition of "Time & Again" or in the Behind The Scenes book.

Here's a snyak 🐍 sneak peak (the screenshot has been made during the sketching phase; that is supposed to be a fairly complex art piece, so I needed the sketch this time to make everything extra clean):

Can you recognize the reference? 😉

That cover art is what I've been working on for the last few days. And finally now I'm getting to work on the cover art for Chapter 6.2 that most likely will take me less time says I often before something unexpected happens and it takes, like, quadruple amount of time vs what I anticipated, lol.

Ah! There is something little and neat I'd like to share before I wrap it up for today 🙃 I decided to try out Krita's native video recorder for the first time. I've known about that functionality in Krita before, but, regardless, I've always used my desktop recorder instead, virtually for everything, from taking screenshots of the lulz and fails found randomly across the internet to recording clips from my gaming sessions for... well, little to no purpose, because I decided not to spam my YouTube channel with gaming videos 😅. But, since it's been learning time for me in many ways lately, I decided to give it a try. Maybe it's awesome and I will use it all the time now?! The awesomeness about Krita video recorder is that it's automated (and everybody knows by now how much I love automation, yaaaaaay!): it automatically records the progress once you open the artwork no matter how much time passes in between the drawing sessions. You can start working on a picture, drop it, return to it, say, in a month, and the recording will continue. Awesome!

Here's the screenshot of the export video dialogue:

The settings are pretty self-explanatory. For those familiar with the basics of video editing, there's nothing new. I had to install ffmpeg in order to properly execute the conversion of the video. I had to fiddle with it for a bit before it started working: apparently, the latest version of ffmpeg (7.0.2) does not work in Krita for the reason unknown to me. I tried to resolve it by myself reading the log file left after the failed conversion - but then I stumbled across a Reddit post that talked about the exact same error I was getting, and it turned out that the previous version of ffmpeg (6.1.1.) still works in Krita. And then it assembled me a very nice video.

I have recorded near the whole process of drawing that piece: from the clean lineart to full colouring, AND including trying out an alternative background that I decided to discard in the end. Eventually I will post the timelapse video on my YouTube channel to pretend it's not dead lol. I will slightly edit and speed it up even more first.

One note though: the end of the video has weird moments of flashing white frames. I was aware that things like that might happen. But still, that's a bit odd. I will have to figure out how to deal with that issue... Because I don't want to have to slap an epilepsy warning in the beginning of the video 😱😅

Ok, wait, there's one more thing I wanted to ponder on before bidding farewell for a week (or two, or a month, how it often happens to me, lol). And it's kind of a... dreamy thing, with a twist of nostalgia and an off-beat bitter-sweet Traurigkeit involved.

Last year I was very upset about one thing. Sometime in Summer, in 2023, it was an 18-year-old anniversary of my very first set of original characters - Jade, Stu, and Alan. These three people were and still are very important to me. And of course, some of you still remember the abundance of the artworks featuring those individuals that I used to post frequently on my DeviantArt gallery. And of course, those of you who have read Chapter 2 of "Time & Again" remember the tiny and short - and rather questionable 😅 - cameo of the three on the background in one scene. I wanted to draw a celebratory portrait of the trio as a little gift to them, and to myself (for personal happiness). I even had a perfect idea for a little hilarious artwork with a cake. But then something happened (most likely, Chapter 4 of "Time & Again" happened, but I don't remember for sure anymore without my devlog notes, and they're in the living room, and I'm far too lazy to reach out to get them right now 🤣), and I simply forgot about my idea. I only remembered about it long due, sometime in mid Fall or even closer to Winter. I was very upset with myself. 18 years is A LOT, let me tell you. That's for how long I've lived with these characters, polishing them, growing them, nurturing them with numerous traits; they have been undergoing an enormous amount of changes in their personalities, backgrounds, personal history, etc. In short: everything that every single one of us is going through their lifetime, in the real life. In this respect, Stu, Alan and Jade are not much different from any of us. They're even fully "legal", LOL. It might look to some that they're obsolete - but that is far from the truth. I still have grand plans for them. They will take part in my future art endeavours 😉 The story of Alan, Stu and Jade has been rewritten numerous times - but it is most certainly still not complete. Doing an incredibly simple, possibly pre-school level math, we can easily deduce that in 2025 the three are gonna reach their 20-year-old milestone. And that's a long, long time.

Since I screwed up the little celebration big time in 2023 😫, and 20-year-old is a good milestone as well, I really want to put an effort into drawing a lovely artwork of the three next Summer. That is überimportant. That must happen. Yes, as you can see, Lothar and Jeanny are significantly younger than the dorky trio. Lothar and Jeanny probably think the other three are elderly people, LOL. Well... there's surely something entertaining that has to be portrayed on the milestone artwork next year. I'm looking forward to it 😁

[moneyallthetime]

Introducing The Superpower Of Instant Conversations With Chatfast.io

Introducing the Superpower of Instant Conversations with Chatfast.ioHey friend, how's the hustle going? Listen, I've just got my hands on a hot new tool that's been like a secret weapon in my latest projects, and I'm too hyped not to share it with you. If you're in the game of growing your online presence, keeping readers engaged, or just looking to streamline your online operations – you gotta hear about Chatfast.io. Trust me on this, it’s one of those things you didn’t even know you needed, but once you have it, you can't imagine life without it.What's The Buzz About Chatfast.io?Okay, picture this. You’re checking out a really cool blog and your brain is just firing on all cylinders with thoughts and ideas, right? Well, Chatfast.io is like this brilliant little genie that pops up right on the page, creating this instant chat room between the visitors and the host. Imagine the conversations you can start, the connections you make, and the community you build – all in the blink of an eye.But it's not just cool, it's powerful. This isn't just idle chit-chat. Those quick little clicks of interaction are building something substantial – a loyal following, real-time feedback, and an unbreakable pulse on what your audience craves.The Superpowers of Chatfast.ioNow, I ain't saying Chatfast.io can leap tall buildings in a single bound, but it's got a few tricks up its sleeve that make it a super sidekick to any online entrepreneur.Lightning-Fast EngagementYou know how invaluable engagement with your readers is, right? Well, Chatfast.io makes it a no-brainer. It brings your audience into the conversation immediately, not after they've logged into some other platform or service. It’s instant, it’s human, and it keeps the conversation – and your relationship with your readers – as fresh as it gets.Visitor Tracking & AnalyticsGirl, it feels like I’m reading minds sometimes. Okay, so not quite, but with Chatfast.io's visitor analytics, you'll start seeing patterns you never realized were there. Who's your most engaged demographic? What posts get people talking? It's like the universe just handed you the guide to make your content king.Flexible and DynamicBest part? It doesn't matter how your site's set up or what kind of content you're pushing. Chatfast.io integrates seamlessly into any corner of your digital domain. From blogs to e-commerce to online courses, it's like it was made just for you.Convincing the SkepticsNow, I can hear the skeptics already. "But, doesn't this mean I'll never get a break from my audience?" Rest easy, my friend. You're still in control. Chatfast.io gives you the power switch. Turn it on when you’re ready to engage, and off when you need a breather. It's your world; we're just chatting in it.Closing ThoughtsI know what you're thinking – where's this tool been all my digital life, right? Well, it's here now, and it's revolutionizing the game one chat at a time. It's genuine. It's powerful. And it’s connecting you like never before. All this, and I haven’t even hit you with the price point that won't pinch your entrepreneurial pockets.Get Your Chatfast.io gameNow for the finale – this link right here is your ticket to chatroom stardom. When you spring for Chatfast.io through my affiliate link, you'll be getting the A-game software and supporting your sis. It’s a win-win for sure.So, what are you waiting for? The digital era's not slowing down, and in the race to stay relevant and real, Chatfast.io is your fastest track to the finish line.Put simply, it’s time to Chatfast and take over the world. Go on, be that blog-superhero you were always meant to be. I believe in you! Read the full article