#this comment has been living in my head for like three days

[celli-ohs]

hubba hubba!

part two of accidentally in love! series frat boy!yeonjun x stubborn!reader; college!au, one-sided love to lovers! comedy/crack, fluff, angst, smut

ATTENTION: reply/comment for taglist!

15. pretty (written chapter 3.17k)

Your phone dings for what seems like the 20th time tonight, but you’re so annoyed you don’t even go to check. “You’re not going to see?” Yujin gestures to your phone as she sits beside you on the couch. You all are seated in the living room, Rei and Wonyoung also beside you as they decide on what crappy TV show for you four to watch. Tonight was an actual girls' night. After a couple of chaotic “girls' nights” with all the boys, you and the other girls finally pulled the plug on the invitation following some absurd requests. So instead of gathering at your apartment like you all usually did, tonight you opted to stay over at Yujin’s and Wonyoung’s apartment (Liz had gone to see her family in Jeju for a couple of days). You sigh and shake your head, getting up to grab a drink. “No, I’m sure it’s just Yeonjun again.”

“Again? He’s been all over you recently, are you sure he doesn’t like you?” Wonyoung eyes you with a smirk. “Are you really going to have me relive my trauma of being friend-zoned by a frat boy?” You glare at her, opening your soda. “Sorry, it’s just why else would he be commenting on every post you’re in? He has no reason to be lurking.” She proves her point. “Honestly, I’m with Won on this,” Yujin nods. “Not you too, oh my god,” You roll your eyes. “I’m serious! Look I’ve been meaning to tell you this but when you had me model your dress, he seemed like he was really really into you.” Yujin reveals. You’re shocked but then scoff at her. “He’s always like that.” You disagree. “Oh really? So he just happens to constantly compliment you, wink at you, call you pet names? I almost forgot- he hugs you?!”

Both Rei and Wonyoung are flabbergasted at this information. You suddenly feel your face flush, and you begin to feel the pressure. “Uh- I can explain.” You hold up a hand. “You guys touch skin?!” Rei looks disgusted, while Wonyoung is trying to wrap her head around this. “Listen! Listen, okay?!” You hold your hands out, forcing them to quiet down. “He compliments me because he’s trying to show his gratitude. I’ve been doing all the heavy work in class, he said he feels bad so he wants me to know he appreciates it.” You say. “He only winks at me when he’s telling some stupid dad joke, and he only calls me names because he knows I don’t like them.” Yujin rolls her eyes, not believing you. “Okay those are plausible, but that doesn’t explain the hugging.” Wonyoung reminds you.

“Yujin is exaggerating, we only hugged each other goodbye.” You throw your hand to the side. “Just like I do with all of you, my friends!” The three girls look amongst themselves. “Fine, if you want the benefit of the doubt, okay then.” Yujin concedes. “But I know what I saw, and when he comes back crawling to you, I better get a thank you.” She threatens. You cross your arms and just decide to sit back down. “Whatever you say,” You snuggle into her side, giving her a silly smile. She pretends to be angry, but then she begins to laugh, throwing an arm around you. “Sorry, you’re one of my best friends and I just think you deserve to be loved by someone who isn’t afraid or a douche.” She mutters. “I know you’re just looking out for me, I’m grateful.”

“Us too! I want you to be happy and never have to worry about whether or not the person you’re with even likes you,” Wonyoung leans her head against your arm. You sit with a warm smile when Rei suddenly yelps. “Ow! Yujin, Wonyoung elbowed me!” As you and Yujin laugh, Wonyoung spits back. “Say something nice to Y/n you man hater!” Rei groans. “I think that guy is stupid and deserves to get jumped for hurting your feelings,” You eye her cautiously. “But I won’t because you like him.” She concludes. “I don’t like him.” You mutter. “Oh lord, here we go again.” Yujin sighs. “I don’t! We’re friends. I’m not going to fall for a guy who only sees me as a friend.” You laugh. “And when you guys start dating, I’ll be sure to remember that,” Wonyoung teases. “You guys are insuff-”

Your phone suddenly rings, and you clumsily fish it from under your seat on the couch. The contact name has you jumping up. “Go ahead and start the episode, I’ll be right back!” You don’t even look at your friends as you step outside, shutting the front door behind you. “Hello?” You say as soon as you answer the call. “Hey pretty, what’re you doing?” Yeonjun’s voice sounds like butter, and you can’t help but giggle. “Nothing much, just having a girls' night.” You explain quickly. “With Jake?” You swear you hear a twinge of jealousy. “No,” You laugh. “Just me and the actual girls this time. Kicked him out after he wanted to do Scooby Doo masks.” You hear Yeonjun crack up, and you smile to yourself. “Well, I have a question to ask you.”

“Okay, shoot,” You nod. You hear him clear his throat. “Are you busy tomorrow night? Soobin and his girlfriend are having a movie night and they said I could invite someone.” You pause, processing the question. “Are you asking me if I want to go with you?” You double-check, with a tone of cheekiness. “Yeah, I am.” Yeonjun sounds oddly shy. As you lean against the wall, you chuckle. “You couldn’t ask Kai or Beomgyu?” You tease. “Oh God no. Beomgyu’s too pissy to be around, and even if I did want Kai to go, he’s got the closing shift at work.” You hum at his answer. “I see, so I’m just the last resort.” You joke. “No, you were my first option.” Yeonjun shuts you right up. “Oh,” You peep out. He always found a way to surprise you. “So what do you say? Come join me?”

“You’re lucky I broke my non-dominant arm. If it was my right arm, I’d probably be unable to drive you.” Yeonjun chuckles as you two cruise down the street. “That just makes me more nervous.” You joke right back. Once you’d agreed to go with him, he’d offered to pick you up. You hadn’t expected much, but you also didn’t think big bad boy Yeonjun would pull up in front of your apartment complex in a Toyota RAV4, a total mommy car. “Why’re you nervous?” He asks, reminding you where you two were heading. You shrug, lying. “I’m meeting people I’ve never really talked to before,” You give him a small explanation. He nods understandingly. “Yeah, I get it, but I promise they’re all cool.” He reassures you as you two pull into a familiar apartment complex.

“This is where the boys live.” You look out the window, a bit shocked. “Yeah. Jay and the guys live here, on the third floor.” You point out their apartment, its curtains are closed but the windows are still bright, signifying someone is home. “Oh yeah, I think Soobin mentioned his girlfriend lives near them,” Yeonjun mentions. “Maybe I should pop in and say hi,” You mumble to yourself. “No, they might be busy, besides, the others are probably waiting for us,” Yeonjun says. You don’t seem to hear the slight jealousy in his voice. As you guys walk up the stairs, Yeonjun leans into you for a second. You can smell his cologne, it smells inviting. “I forgot to mention: Soobin and his girlfriend are weebs, I think we’re watching some kinda anime movie,” He mumbles. 

You laugh, nudging him in the arm. “No problem, I’m not picky with movies.” He leads you to a certain door and knocks. It bursts open in seconds, and you’re greeted by a tall man wearing the most atrocious Shrek-themed shirt you’ve ever seen. “You guys made it! Come on in!” Soobin ushers you two inside. You and Yeonjun arrive last, entering the bustling apartment. “Make yourselves comfortable. My girlfriend already made popcorn and Jen made pasta if you’re hungry.” Soobin tells you both as you remove your shoes. “Thanks, man,” Yeonjun claps him on the shoulder. “Woah! This is so cool!” You gasp at the screen projected onto the large blank wall in the living room. “Isn’t it? Best financial investment I’ve made with adult money,” Soobin’s girlfriend grins at you as she joins her boyfriend’s side (you notice she's wearing a matching Shrek shirt). 

“Didn’t Keeho steal it from our math teacher in high school after we graduated?” Chaewon interjects from the kitchen. “And I had to pay a heavy fee for him to let me keep it,” Soobin’s girlfriend argues. “Are you hungry?” Yeonjun asks you, secretly placing a hand on the small of your back. “I could go for some snacks,” You nod, letting him lead you to the tiny table. “Oh, let me add more M&Ms,” A girl scurries to the table, opening a fresh bag before she pours it into the bowl. “I’m Kazuha by the way, Chaewon’s girlfriend.” She greets. “Nice to meet you, I’m Y/n.” You smile. “Oh my gosh! Y/n!” A familiar voice calls out and you look behind you. Jen holds out her arms for a hug, and you excitedly run to her. “How’ve you been? You look so good!” She compliments. 

You thank her before a sneaky hand wraps itself around Jen’s waist. “Hey Y/n, how are you?” Keeho smiles. Yeonjun skips over to you, trying to show you the large plate of snacks he’d made. “I’m good, how about you?” You ask. “Not much honestly, just busy with school and ETEN,” Keeho nods, before turning his attention to the man to your left. “Which I need to talk to you about.” He looks and sounds stern as he faces Yeonjun. “Uh, can we do this another time dude? We’re here to have fun, I don’t feel like talking about that right now.” Yeonjun tries to be nice, popping a sour gummy worm into his mouth. “And when were you planning on answering my texts then? You’ve been avoiding all of council for the past month and a half.” Keeho raises a brow.

“You stopped showing up to parties, you have Changbin doing all the work, and you haven’t even spoken to Mark since-” “Okay babe, calm down,” Jen interjects, placing a hand on Keeho’s arm. “Let’s go sit down, you two can talk later.” She pushes him towards the living room, the others are also settling down. As they leave, you turn to Yeonjun with concern. “You’ve been avoiding the frat?” You ask him quietly. He doesn’t meet your eyes, looking embarrassed. “I’ve just been busy,” He shrugs. “With what?” You ask, but Yeonjun preoccupies himself with the gummy worms. You suddenly realize what he’s been busy with all month. “With… me?” You point to yourself. He finally looks at you, and you can’t tell what he’s thinking. 

“Let’s just say I’ve been reevaluating what I’d rather be spending my time doing.” He sends you a wink before taking your arm and leading you to the living room. Soobin and his girlfriend are seated on one end of the couch, Jen and Keeho on the other. Chaewon is cuddling with Kazuha on the bean bag. It’s then you realize what exactly you’ve gotten yourself into: a couples movie night. But before you can react, Yeonjun pulls you down beside him, squishing you two into the sofa chair. Actually, you’re practically on top of him, half sitting on his lap, the other half on the actual seat. You begin to feel hot, and your heart is beating so loud you swear Yeonjun could hear it too. You don’t want to turn to look at him, too embarrassed with how close you two were right now.

“We all can read right?” Soobin asks innocently. “Not Chaewon,” Keeho jokes, and he’s hit in the face with a popcorn kernel. “Ow! I was kidding!” He whines. “Well either way I don’t care, cause there’s no way in hell I'm watching dub,” Soobin says, and he presses play.

Halfway through the movie, you get up to use the bathroom. If you were being honest, you had no idea what was going on. Not because it was spoken in Japanese or because the plot was confusing. It was because you could feel Yeonjun’s… well everything. His heartbeat, his breath, his eyes. It was driving you crazy, you could barely concentrate. You hated yourself for feeling like this, after his rejection you thought you could control, maybe even dissipate your feelings for him. But sitting all cozy on one another in a dark cramped space had you thinking otherwise. Occasionally he’d lean in and whisper in your ear. Usually, he commented something funny about the movie or Soobin’s reactions, but every so often he’d say something that would make the hairs raise. 

“You smell good, what perfume are you wearing?” He says while lightly sniffing your collar, his nose tickling you. “I was going to tell you in the car, but I like your hair tonight.” Yeonjun’s lips ghost over your neck and you get chills. “Feed me a gummy worm, pretty? My arms are full,” He playfully uses his one free hand to squeeze your thigh. You had to excuse yourself before you got too dizzy from all the teasing. After calming down, you tried to mentally prepare yourself for when you return. There's a knock on the door and you pause. “Just a second,” You call out before you open it slightly. You don’t know who you were expecting, but it wasn’t Jen. “Hi, sorry, can I come in real quick?” She asks though she pushes herself inside. 

“Uh, yeah,” You nod. “Here, I’m finished anyway.” You attempt to leave when she catches your hand. “No! I actually wanted to talk to you.” She says, and you close the door again, this time with more concern. “What is it?” You know the others have probably noticed you both are gone now. “I’ll be fast,” Jen promises. “I just felt that you needed to hear this since you and Yeonjun are seeing each other now,” She says and you hold a hand out to stop her. “We’re not, we’re just friends.” You correct her. “Oh sweetie, everyone and their mama can see you guys like each other. Don’t deny it.” She laughs. You feel embarrassed because maybe she was right. “Even if you guys are ‘just friends’, I need to warn you.” She says with air quotes.

“Warn me about what?” You furrow your brows. Jen sighs and leans against the bathroom counter. “Yeonjun and I used to have a… thing last year. Nothing super serious I promise. It was mainly sex.” She begins to say, nonchalantly. “I just feel that as girl to girl, you should know he may seem sweet, but he’s never serious.” Your heart begins to sink. “He does this to every girl, he butters them up, sleeps with them, then ditches them for another one,” Jen says, her words stinging. “Yeonjun used to take me to parties and dates or whatever, but when I didn’t want to sleep with him anymore, he stopped holding up that nice guy act and we went our separate ways.” Jen takes your hands suddenly and you have to fight the urge to pull away. “I know we’re not super close or anything, but you need to know because you deserve to know who he really is.”

Who Yeonjun really is… You swallow thickly and nod. “Thank you, I appreciate it.” You give her a smile. She smiles back, squeezes your hands, and sighs. “We should probably go back,” She mutters, and you two exit, pretending to have never even had a hushed conversation. “You guys okay?” Keeho asks as you and Jen sit back down. Yeonjun holds you so naturally, yet you feel so stiff. “Oh yeah, nothing much,” Jen nods, catching your eye. You turn away quickly. “Feeling okay? You were gone for a while.” Yeonjun whispers. “Yeah, I’m fine, just uh, lady problems,” You lie. You can feel Yeonjun stare at you, trying to figure you out, but you remain fixed on the screen. You can’t even pay attention to the film anymore, you just need to pretend that you are normal. Yeonjun seems to believe you because he nods and leans back into the seat. You both don’t say a word for the rest of the movie.

“Have a good night guys, thanks for coming over.” Soobin’s girlfriend waves goodbye from the front door. “Thanks for having us,” You smile. “Is Soobin going to be okay?” You point to the lanky man who’d latched himself onto his girlfriend as he cried his eyes out into her shoulder. “Oh yeah, every time we watch Your Name he cries. He’ll be fine.” She assures you, petting her boyfriend’s hair as he babbles on and on about the love story. “Just- just- I just love them so much!” He sniffles. “Dude, you’ve got snot all over your face.” Yeonjun snickers. Soobin sadly flips him off. “Alright, take care, see you guys later.” You and Yeonjun finally leave, walking silently side by side down the stairs back to the parking lot. “How’d you like the movie?” Yeonjun asks quietly.

“Good.” You lick your lips nervously. “Kinda confusing, but it was sweet.” Yeonjun chuckles, unlocking the car. You both get in, buckling up. It’s late, there are no cars on the road, which means he could speed through town to get you back home, but Yeonjun seems to take his time. After a few minutes of debating, you finally speak up. “Hey,” You swallow. “Have you been avoiding the frat for me?” You ask. Yeonjun slows the car to a stop at the red light. “Yeah, why?” He turns to you and you guys meet eyes. There’s something in the way he looks at you, his eyes are so gentle that you feel as if you could read him like an open book. Even with all the things Jen told you tonight, you knew now as you looked at Yeonjun under the neon streetlights that whoever she was referring to was not the same guy who sat across from you. This Yeonjun was different.

“Nothing.” You say, still looking at him. “I just don’t want you to get in trouble because of me.” The light turns green, and Yeonjun has to force himself to look away to continue driving. “I’ll talk to the guys.” He sighs. “I’m just focusing on the more important stuff right now.” Your heart begins to flutter. “I’m more important to you?” You can’t even believe what you’re hearing. Yeonjun nods, a smile gracing his lips and you have to physically stop yourself from screaming with happiness. 

“You have no idea how important you are, pretty.”

Bonus:

Some things the guys did to get themselves banned from girls' night: Heeseung begging to play LOL, Sunghoon picking Frozen as the movie, Jake (other than the cursed Scooby Doo masks) getting angry over losing in Monopoly (noise complaints)

Jay did nothing wrong he would cook, let the girls paint his nails/do his makeup, and knew how to give a good massage, it was such a shame to kick him out (they still secretly invite him)

Yeonjun knew it was a couples' movie night, he just conveniently forgot to mention it

Loser Soobin and his gf return! lol I left lots of awooga crumbs in this chapter

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hubba hubba! masterlist

taglist (open): @justandloyal2961 @hoonatic @emosakumas @ancnymcnzjy

[microwave-core]

competitive bitches just say shit that hits different

[luveline]

could you write bombshell!reader getting a tattoo of spencer’s name or something that reminds her of him and his reaction please?

“Why are you kissing me?” you mumble, your voice hoarse with sleep. 

They’re light kisses. “I’m going now,” Spencer says, matching your quiet tone. 

“No.” 

You wrap your arm behind his neck and feel his hair against your wrist. His nose and lips warm your jaw. 

“Yes.” He kisses your jaw. “I have to go, but I didn’t wanna leave without a kiss.” 

That’s really sweet, he’s so sweet, you’re so tired. “Please don’t go, Spencer.” 

“I have to go.” He readjusts your hugging to hum against your temple, distinctly content despite your pleading. “I’ll be back by six for dinner, promise.” 

“Promise,” you say.

You get to keep him for a few minutes, regardless. His neck must sing bent as he is over you but he doesn’t relent, doesn’t move until you encourage his face back to kiss just under his bottom lip. “Sorry, I’m making you late,” you whisper. 

“No, no, I accounted for this. You’re on my agenda.” 

“How much time did you allot?” you ask through a smile. 

“Seventeen minutes. That’s how long we usually hug in the morning.” 

“Gotta get that time down,” you say. 

“Or up.” He holds your face. You turn your head into his touch and keep him for just another half a minute. 

“Okay,” you mumble, letting your eyes flutter closed again, “you can leave, I’m gonna go back to sleep.” 

“Good idea.” He kisses you, and he says goodbye. You’re sleeping again before he’s even left your room

When you wake properly, you still feel loved, like a sunburn but with less stinging. There’s something very special about your boy; something permanent about the way he loves. You can’t imagine he’ll ever stop loving you like this, he’s embedded you so deeply into his life and his routines (and you’d beg him to keep you if he ever changed his mind). That in itself is crazy. You can’t have imagined begging a guy to let you stay, but for Spencer, you would.  

When he comes home that night, half an hour before six, you have no regrets. 

You hadn’t noticed how he was dressed when he left, but he looks lovely in just a simple t-shirt and jeans. Remarkably casual for him, you used to think he only wore t-shirts to bed, but the older he gets the better propensity he has for comfort. What makes it for you is the cardigan. 

“You look nice,” you praise, more than satisfied when the first thing he does after he takes off his shoes is lean down to hug you where you’re sitting on his couch. 

“Thank you.” He pats your back and pulls away. “You’re beautiful,” he says with ease, like he’s commenting on the weather. “Good day?” 

Your lips pucker into a twist. 

“What?” he asks. 

Unfortunately, he sounds deeply worried. 

“No, it’s nothing, I just hurt my arm. Can you have a look?” 

Spencer takes your arm. “What did you do?” he asks, pulling the sleeve of your shirt carefully up to your elbow. The Saran wrap confuses him, until it doesn’t, and he grins at your skin, before frowning again. His flickering emotions worry you, until he says, “Is that mine?” 

You hold your arm in the light. “Of course it’s yours?” 

It’s just a few words from a note he wrote you, perhaps too soon into your relationship for sweetness, and yet one you kept anyways. He told you the story of the I Love You lighthouse, or rather, the Minot Ledge lighthouse, and how the man who lived there had to live on a different island to his family while tending the lighthouse, so he would flash the light once, then four times, and then three times, one flash for every letter of each corresponding word: I love you. The note was left on your dresser. You’d slept together the night before, but he had to leave early. Nowadays he wakes you up, but  back then he’d been too shy. 

I want to be able to do that for you but I can’t find a lighthouse in D.C. that will let me in to try. I’ll keep looking. 

“I’ll keep looking,” Spencer reads. His thumb heistates just under your small font.

“It’s from that note you left me.”

“I know, I remember.” He does his awful frowny face where his eyelids lower and you're sure he’ll never smile again, he looks that upset. “You know this is permanent?”

“They do tend to be,” you say with a lovelorn sigh. 

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should kiss you, or hug you, or… I don’t know why you’d do this.”

“But it’s okay?” you ask. It could make for a very awkward conversation if he doesn't like it.

“It’s perfect.” He holds your gaze. “You’re perfect.”

He acts like your tattoo is a gaping wound as he moves in to hug you, careful of your new ink, but relentless in the tightness of his arms behind your back. You laugh, then squeal at his insistence, a giggly girly thing that nobody else should ever hear but him. He doesn’t make fun of you, just squeezes you to him, his face pressed so hard to yours you can feel his cheekbones. 

“Now I just have to say something romantic for you to get tattooed and we’ll be equal again.’

“So we aren’t equal?”

“Um, no way.” Your laugh is self-satisfied and breathless. You turn your lips to his cheek. “I love you. I’m gonna build you a lighthouse.”

“Can’t believe you kept that note.”

“I have a whole shoebox of them. I love that you write them.”

He stops holding himself up, half on the couch and half in your lap as he hugs you with every bit of strength in his arms.

[lollixp0p]

The Video (18+)

Pairing: Best friend!Hwang Hyunjin x afab!reader

Genre: Smut (MDNI), bit of feelings

Word count: just under 3k!

Warnings: Idol!au, subby!Hyunjin, slightly perv!reader, recording, (maybe a bit dub con because he doesn't mean to send it but reader watches it anyway), mommy kink, masturbation (both but separately), Hyunjin fantasizes about reader, reader fantasizes about Hyunjin, lmk if I missed anything!!

Summary: Hyunjin finally gets some alone time after weeks of hard work and decides to use his time to... relax. The next day he ends up sending you something on accident that sets off a big change in your lives, with or without either of you really realising.

Note: My first ever fic!! :3 Inspired by a video I saw on phub. (@cbini (Ems isn't on Tumblr rn she still wanted to be tagged so I hope it's ok), @comet-falls, @hyunsvngs, @mnwrld and @skz-hell lmao hello everyone, writing blog reveal!!😁 here's this fic I've mention to all of you as an anon<3 (depending on who you are I'm either ❄️anon, 🐾anon or sounding anon😳)). To anyone reading this please give me literally any feedback (comment, reblog, anything!), I want to know if this is good or not since it's my first fic🙏😣

Please do not under any circumstance copy, translate, or repost my works!

It's been exactly three weeks since Hyunjin's had any time for just himself, though it feels like months at this point.

Recently everyone's been running around like headless chickens and between vocal trainings, dance practices and the studio, there hasn't been much time to just relax and recharge. Preparing for a new album really is the busiest time of an idols life.

There hasn't even been time to see family or friends, which is common during busy spells like this, but always dissapointing to think about. Now even more so, with how much he's been wishing to spend time with you, one of his closest friends... who also happens to be his crush. Not that he'd ever let you know though, not in a very long time.

It feels almost like a blessing, getting back to the dorms from practice late in the evening and realising... he's got the place all for himself, at least until his roommates get back from the studio.

Changbin had messaged him earlier, telling him that they'd probably be there well past midnight, so there was no use waiting up for them. To him though, this was the very opposite of an issue. With that much free time, he'd definitely be able to... make himself comfortable, so to speak.

See, not having time to relax also means he'd basically had no time to get off. The best he'd been able to do had been quick little sessions barely once a week in the shower right before passing out on his bed from the exhaustion of working hard.

The realisation that he'd be able to do anything he wants during his time alone is enough to get his dick twitching in his jeans and he decides the shower can wait until later.

Hyunjin goes to his room and locks the door after himself even though he's alone, it's just become a habit after so many years living with his members. He sets his bag down next to his bed and thinks through his plan.

Hyunjin has a little secret, which is that he loves recording himself do dirty things that range from more vanilla to much less vanilla. Something about the thrill of being recorded even if no one will ever see it just... makes him so fucking horny.

He opens the camera of his phone, puts it to video mode and presses record. Moving his hand off the lense and setting it down where he normally sets it, on the carefully placed pile of books on his desk, he sits down on his bed.

"Hmm... I hope the angle's good... It's been so long since I've had time for this", Hyunjin sighs with a pout and brushes his hair out of his eyes. He knows the camera won't see it though because he's made sure the stand, his pile of books, is at a level that cuts off his head perfectly.

Hyunjins hands run down his body slowly and he exhales deeply, just loud enough to get picked up by his phone. Once they reach his jeans he unbuttons them, unzips the zipper, then pulls the jeans down just enough to expose his underwear. Hyunjin pulls his shirt up over his stomach to be held in place under his chin, rubs his hand over his bulge and hums.

It's been so long since the last time he's been able to take his time making himself feel good. It's almost embarrassing how quickly he's getting hard.

He takes his dick out his boxers and then spits on the palm of his right hand. It's dirty and wet but it just turns him on even more. He grabs his dick with the hand and slowly moves his fist up and down, to spread the saliva and precum all over his dick to make the slide easier and wetter but to also get himself to full hardness.

"A-ah, ohh... that's so good... Feels-fuck, feels so good", Hyunjin sighs. It really won't take him too long to cum, he just knows it. He's been pent up for far too long.

He tries to think of something to help his issue and immediately thinks of you, no matter how embarrassed or dirty it makes him feel.

When you first started showing up in the dirtiest corners of his mind he felt so ashamed. Now it doesn't matter to him anymore. You'll never find out so why feel bad?

He continues to move his hand on his dick while thinking of you. The last time the two of you had time to hang out together you'd worn the lowest cut shirt he'd ever seen on you. He had tried so hard to act normal around you but whenever you bent down he'd been able to see into your shirt.

"Haah, fuck..." , he squeezes himself a little harder at the memory. Everytime you moved he could see your bra poking out from the top, black and lacy. The entire time he'd been doing his best to not bust in his pants. Oh, what he'd give to be able to see your tits. They always looked so soft and they'd probably fit perfectly into his palms.

Whenever the both of you would hang out at yours, watching movies and just hanging out, you never bothered to wear a bra. Why would you? It is your house where you want to be as comfortable as possible.

The feeling of laying down on your couch watching a movie with you on top of him, in just a t-shirt, will end up driving him mad one day. Everytime he'd felt your nipples poking into him he'd almost moaned out loud.

"Hngh... Oh my god, please... m-mommy!", he lets out pathetically, moving his fist faster. God he just wants you to use him, to do anything you want to him. The thought makes him whine desperately.

One of the most common fantasies for him is you on top of him using him to get off, not caring about if he's close or not. You'd sit on his face and ride it until you cum. He could probably cum untouched like that. All he'd need was tasting you and seeing you cum, just for him.

All the sudden he remembers the phone recording him and he shudders. He imagines what your reaction would be to seeing him like this. Would you be disgusted or delighted? Would you tell him what to do and how to touch himself? Maybe you'd touch him... He hopes you would.

"Mommy... please touch me, aah- oh!", he runs his thumb over the head of his cock just right and his thighs twitch but he keeps them open, in perfect view to the camera.

Throwing his head back he imagines you riding him. You'd be so tight and wet around him. Maybe you'd tie his hands behind his back so he wouldn't be able to touch you... he'd really like that. You'd feel godly around him, Hyunjin thinks.

"Fuck, oh fuck! Mommy I'm-haah, I'm so close, please!", his dick twitches desperately. You're so gorgeous, to him you're the sexiest person he's ever seen. He feels himself getting so close that tears spring to his eyes.

"Ah- 'm gonna... mommy, gonna cum...!", he whines out long and loud. It takes Hyunjin two more strokes to let go and he cums the hardest he's cum in weeks. He doesn't even register whispering your name. Hyunjin leans back on his left hand and keeps stroking himself through it.

The feeling is overwhelming, so much so that his thighs start twitching pathetically and the tears in the corners of his eyes fall. He's getting incredibly overstimulated but he keeps going, wanting to keep enjoying the feeling, just a bit more.

He squeezes himself one last time and suddenly everything on him feels gross and dirty. He's just had the best orgasm in weeks so it's no surprise that he came a lot, everywhere. He even managed to get some on his chin.

"Fuuck... Did you-haah... did you enjoy that?", he chuckles to the phone. It takes a while for him to come down from the high, the twitchiness and the feeling of euphoria lingering in his body. Once he's capable of standing up again he stops the video.

With his body feeling like jelly, he takes off all his clothes, drops them into his hamper and prepares to shower, at last.

Hyunjin wakes up to his alarm the next day feeling more refreshed than he's felt in weeks. He shuts off the still ringing alarm and quickly gets up from his bed to get dressed and go eat breakfast.

Checking the calendar on his phone to make sure he knows his schedule for today, he makes a note of one thing; he'd have a lot of time alone at the dorms today too, since he's only got a dance practice and a recording session today, which obviously means 3racha will stay behind to stress about their songs while Hyunjin can return early. Maybe this time he should continue the latest piece of art he's been working on after he gets back?

Hyunjin gets through the day well enough.

After eating breakfast he messages you a "Good morning pretty <3 please remember to drink water!" like every morning when he has time for it. He gets to the practice room only five minutes late, which is a record this early in the morning, because usually he ends up sleeping in at least ten minutes (which makes Chan scold him for being such a heavy sleeper).

He does well at practice, even though he ends up a little exhausted. That's nothing new though, with how hard they always work to be the best they can be.

The rest of the members leave to take a break but Hyunjin decides to stay behind to film the solo choreography he's been working on for fun. Once he's happy with how it's turned out, it's time for him to go record his lines.

The recording session goes smoothly, without hundreds of retakes and everyone's satisfied with the result. Afterwards they decide to order some take-out, as a reward for a job well done... and also because they're all feeling too lazy to even think about going to the dorms to cook.

While eating Hyunjin finally realises to check his phone again. "Good morning, take care of yourself too!! :)" is your response to what he sent earlier. It's nothing more than a kind response but it makes him grin to himself like the fool in love he is.

"Yaaah!! Hyunjinnieee, what's making you smile so beautifully?", Changbin leans towards him with his signature flirting-with-Hyunjin grin, mouth half full of rice.

"It's nothing," Hyunjin responds back to him cheeks red, "and don't talk with your mouth full hyung... Do you not have any respect?"

Changbin decides to drop it in favor of eating more delicious food.

"Oh come on... we wanna know!!", Han pouts at him from his seat on the couch in the room. Hyunjin shoves another mouthful of food in his mouth to avoid the embarrassement of explaining how a single text messaged from you manages to make his heart beat out of his chest.

Once Hyunjin's done eating he's free to go back to the dorms and just like he suspected the rest of his dormmates stay behind to work some more, although they all whine at him to stay to explain the previous mystery. He declines and they all keep their sad puppydog eyes on him until he's out the door.

He keeps texting you during his ride, all the way to the dorms. Once he's in his room Hyunjin decides to just change into some clean clothes. He's too excited to talk to you and get to painting, he can wash up later.

He lays in his bed to keep texting you and at some point your conversation changes from how your day's been going to talking about dancing and he mentions how he just today filmed a new choreography bit he's made for fun.

❣️:

Can I see what you've been working on? :)

I'm sure it's really good, you always are!!

Jinnie:

Well... since you asked so nicely😉

[video sent]

Quickly sending the video Hyunjin exits out the messaging app, feeling so giddy he can't help but squirm around on his bed. He still can't believe someone like you could be interested in seeing him dance.

It might seem like a small thing for most but he feels himself turning red just thinking about the way you look at him while he talks about something so important to him. It makes the butterflies in his stomach every time you're near go crazy. It's so attentive, like you actually care and are interested in his interests... and maybe even...?

'No' , he thinks to himself. There's probably no way you could ever actually be interested in him, not in the same way he's interested in you at least.

He leaves his phone charging and finally gets out of bed to go to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. He'd need it if he wanted to stay up late to work on his newest art piece.

Hearing the familiar 'ping' notification of receiving a message makes you open your phone again and just like you thought, Hyunjin had sent you the video of his latest masterpiece of a choreography. Not waiting a second you press the video just to see.... Hyunjin take his hand off the camera and set the phone down on the desk in his room he draws on. He sits down on the edge of his bed and says something, you aren't really sure what, because the volume's too low. In confusion you turn it up more.

Hyunjin sighs and reaches up to move his hair out his face, probably. You can't see it though, because the camera cuts his face perfectly off frame. Suddenly his hands run down his body to the button on his jeans. He opens it and starts undoing the zipper next. You just look at the video in shock. 'He isn't about to... to take them off is he?', you think to yourself, just as he pulls the jeans down enough to expose his white boxers and then palms his bulge.

Should you stop watching? Keep watching? How long has it even been playing? How long does it keep playing? While you wonder this you almost miss Hyunjin pull his hard dick out of his underwear and spit on his palm and... Oh God...

You've now done something you can never take back. The downright sinful view of his cock is something you don't think you're ever going to be able to forget. How do you even face him after this? After watching him grasp his dick in his hand and pump it a couple of times to spread the spit and precum around.

You exit the video, panting and absolutely soaking through your underwear. Your other hand rushes to your face to feel your cheeks. They're burning and feel like you've been standing out in the sun for hours, when in reality all you've done is accidentally watch your best friend play with himself.

You struggle to decide what to do with the video and in the end save the video without much thinking, then delete the message of it and decide to notify him of his mistake. As long as he doesn't know you saved it, it should be fine, right?

It takes Hyunjin less than 10 minutes to make and get the coffee. He returns to his room humming the tune of a song he's had on repeat recently. Setting the coffee down on the desk and taking his phone off from the charger he notices new messages from you.

❣️:

Uhm...😕

Hyunjin, I don't think you meant to send that.

He looks at his screen confused. What did you mean by that? He...

Oh God.

Did he send the wrong video?

Frantically opening the video he sent earlier he sees himself, in video, move his hand off the phone camera and set it down the desk near his bed and sit down. Oh no...

"Hmm... I hope the angle's good... It's been so long since I've had time for this", video Hyunjin sighs and reaches up to move his hair from his eyes. His head may be out of frame but he clearly remembers pouting while saying this. He watches himself slowly unbutton and unzip his pants, adjusting them so that his boxers are clearly visible in frame. In the video his hand drifts towards his crotch slowly, teasingly.

He quickly exits the video and promptly shoves his head under his pillow and yells. He'd accidentally sent the wrong video while hurrying to get a cup of coffee. How could he have messed up this bad? In his panic, it takes him a moment to respond.

Jinnie:

Oh god

I'm so sorry!!

Please don't watch that!

❣️:

Don't worry!!!

I stopped watching the moment you started unzipping your pants😖

I saw nothing, promise!🙏 It's been deleted already!! 

Little does he know though, you'd kept the video. You're not really sure why, but subconciously your brain keeps screaming' to finish it later, of course'.

...

Fuck it, you don't think you can wait until later.

Taking a deep breath, you open your gallery to find the video he sent you. You hesitate for a second but press play anyway. You can feel how you're already soaking through your underwear but pay no mind to it yet.

You watch him do the things you've seen already, all the way until he spits in his hand... and you pause the video. 'Is it right to watch this? I mean, he didn't mean to even send it...', you think to yourself.

But the thought of seeing him touch himself, to hear him make the sweetest noises you could ever in your wildest dreams imagine him making drives you on.

Pressing play again you dip your fingers into your pants. You rub yourself over your underwear and oh my god... you can't believe the wetness you feel after less than a minute of watching the video. You focus on the phone you're holding in your other hand and finally move your fingers into your underwear to directly touch your pussy.

On your screen you see Hyunjin start to stroke himself faster, the head of his dick a dark pink, you can feel his desperation through the screen. Without thinking you move your fingers to your clit and start rubbing it in circles, aided by the wetness of your leaking pussy.

He moans out loud and even though you can't hear it through the fog in your head, you know he's desperate. You move your fingers down to your hole and dip two of them in. You're so wet you barely need to even stretch yourself out and then he does it.

"Hngh... Oh my god, please... m-mommy!"

You push your fingers deeper and your pussy lets out he lewdest squelch which in turn makes you close your eyes desperately in pleasure. 'Mommy? When he masturbates he calls out for mommy??', the thought makes you lose your mind. You think about what it would be like if he called you mommy in the throes of pleasure.

You want to make him follow every command you give him. The way he'd look up at you on his knees with you standing above him. Maybe you could make him suck on a strap? He'd look so ridiculously delicious with his mouth full, drool dripping down his cheeks.

You add another finger and start rubbing at your clit with your thumb at the same time. The feeling makes you whimper and imagine his hands on you, teaching him how to touch you perfectly. You're getting so close and you remember to focus your screen again.

Hyunjin looks absolutely disheveled. His dick is red and throbbing, you can tell he's getting close. His voice is another thing that gives him away. He's whiny and his voice keeps cracking every time he opens his mouth. Hyunjin bucks into his hand and moans.

"... mommy, gonna cum...!", he strokes himself twice more and then finally cums. You're so close it's maddening. All the sudden you hear him... whisper your name?

It makes you go off the edge and your entire body clenches and seizes while you silently cry out from all the pleasure you're feeling. Your walls suck in your fingers with how you're clenching around them. On the screen Hyunjin twitches violently, working himself through the end of his orgasm.

You pull your fingers out of yourself and slump down on your bed exhausted, but the last 20 seconds of the video that's now over haunts you. Did you hear him right?

You gather strength to pick up your phone again and rewind the video to the part where he cums and turn the volume almost all the way up. Admittedly you end up fixating on the way his dick looks and face twists in pleasure when he cums and then he says, or more like whisper your name. Your brain blanks.

"Fuuck... Did you-haah... did you enjoy that?", he chuckles to the phone, sits in place for a bit to properly come down and then gets up to stop the video.

You're wet, confused and you can feel your heart beat out of your chest. What do you do now? How can you ever face him normally after that... Does he feel the same way you do? Is he sure he didn't mean to send it?

It's all too much to think about, so you decide that instead of thinking about it you'll clean yourself up and... crawl into a hole where no one will ever find you. Probably. The only thing you know for sure is you definitely won't be sleeping tonight.

© lollixp0p 2024 | please do not under any circumstance copy, translate, or repost my works

[dreamwritesimagines]

Sunshine [6] - Middle of the Night

AN: My loves, thank you so so much for your wonderful support and lovely comments and HCs! ❤️ You’re amazing! ❤️

I hope you like this as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! 🥰

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Female!Reader

Summary: Drunk calls can lead to sweet moments.

Word Count: 3500 

CW: Violence, explicit language, mentions of sex, drinking, getting drunk, throwing up

Series Masterlist

To be completely honest, getting drunk was not in the plans tonight.

You were supposed to have one drink and go home but in your defense your best friend had tricked you with that two for one deal and now you were on your fifth cocktail, giggling at the story of her latest date.

“Listen, if you like him, I can totally normalize him living with his ex for you,” you told her and she made a face.

“How?”

“The rental market is in shambles.”

She let out a laugh, then shook her head.

“Nope.”

“Capitalism is fucking all of us—”

“We’re not doing that,” she said. “I mean how would you feel if Logan was living with his ex?”

“Logan hasn’t asked me out,” you pointed out. “Which is more reason to believe he doesn’t like me like that.”

“The guy maimed three people for you!”

“It could’ve been a friendly gesture!”

She threw her head back. “You’re not serious.”

You shrugged your shoulders, then downed your drink and motioned for another one.

“Listen,” you said, your mind all fuzzy. “Do I want Logan? Yes. Do I dream about us living happily ever after? Yes. Do I have very detailed fantasies about him breaking my bed? Also yes. But we don’t—”

“I’d just like to remind you that while you don’t have enough money to buy a new bed,” she interfered. “I will buy you a new one if you break it while the hot lumberjack is fucking your brains out.”

“Thank you, you’re a true friend,” you said solemnly as the waitress brought you your cocktail and you thanked her, then turned to Julie. “Jamie wants him to be terrible in bed so that I’ll snap out of this.”

“Doubt it,” she said. “The guy has been around since the mid-1800s, I’d assume he has some experience.”

You tilted your head, then gasped.

“Oh my God!” you said, reaching out to grab her arm over the table, almost knocking over her glass but she caught it before her drink could spill on the table. “What if Jamie is right?”

“I literally just said—”

“No, he was alive in mid-1800s!” you said, making her frown.

“Yeah?”

“What if he is like Edward Cullen and waiting for marriage?”

“That man is a whore!” Julie snapped, flailing her hands. “I’ve heard the way he speaks to you, he’s a slut—there’s no fucking way. He’ll break your bed any day now.”

You heaved a dramatic sigh. “To repeat, he hasn’t made a move.”

“To repeat, I think maiming three guys for you counts as making a move.”

You sucked on the straw of your cocktail, the happy warmth of alcohol buzzing in your head.

“So you think he likes me back?”

“I’m pretty sure he likes you back.”

 You grabbed some popcorn from the bowl on the table.

“Yeah well,” you said. “I guess we’ll see.”

“Why don’t you ask him out?”

You pulled your brows together. “I can’t do that Julie!”

“Why not?” she asked. “Is it the 1800s? Will people call you a harlot in the town square?”

“No!” you said. “No it’s just…”

“When was the last time you got laid?”

“That has nothing to with the situation,” you said and took a huge sip of your cocktail, making her grin.

“Remind me, when was it?”

“It’s been some time.”

“So why aren’t you climbing Logan like a tree?”

“I’m trying!” you whined and she motioned at you.

“Drink your cocktail. The whole thing.”

You nodded and downed your drink, your insides getting even warmer as you put your glass on the table. Julie grinned, and pushed your phone in your direction.

“Now call him.”

“Julie!”

“Just ask him out!” she said. “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

“He could hang up on me.”

“He’s not gonna hang up on you,” she said. “Listen, that guy has been picking you up from work, calling you princess, saving you from creeps and sniffing your hair...”

“We’re not so sure about the last part.”

“Yes we are,” she said, pointing a finger at you. “Call him. You’ll be too much of a chicken to ask him out when you’re sober, so do it when you’re drunk.”

You let out a whine, then took the phone into your hands, heaving a sigh.

“What if I’m not his type?”

Julie rolled her eyes. “Somebody really needs to fuck you in front of a mirror.”

You scrunched up your face. “Oh I could never do that.”

“You should, it’s fun,” she said and nodded at the phone in your hand. “Call him.”

“But—”

“Do you want to fuck him, yes or no?”

“I want us to live happily ever after!” you said and paused for a second. “And yeah I want to fuck him. A lot. Day and night, multiple positions.”

“Call him.”

You took a deep breath, then nodded to yourself.

“I’ll be back,” you said and stood up from the chair, stumbling as the room spun around you but you grabbed the back of the chair and sat down again. “Shit, I’m too drunk.”

“It’s not that loud here,” she said. “You don’t have to go outside.”

“Okay,” you said and found Logan’s name, then touched it and took the phone to your ear, your heart pacing in your chest. You drummed your fingernails on the table, frowning to yourself, then lowered the phone.

“He’s not answering,” you said and ended the call, then turned to Julie. “Maybe he’s busy or something?”

“Yeah, didn’t you say they went on missions?”

“That’s what I heard,” you said and heaved a sigh. “Oh well. It was worth a shot.”

Julie shrugged her shoulders.

“Yeah,” she said and thought for a moment. “We should get shots.”

You gasped, and clapped your hands together.

“Yeah!” you said. “Yeah let’s get shots!”

                                                   *

Since Julie’s place was closer, you had split the taxi fee and dropped her off first before the taxi took you to your place. As it turned out, the shots were a bad idea because you had to rush to the bathroom to throw up as soon as you stepped foot into your apartment, but after you brushed your teeth and washed your face, you were still not sleepy.

On the contrary, you were pretty energetic.

…And hungry.

Starving, actually.

You hummed to yourself as you opened the fridge, then tilted your head. Nothing in your fridge looked good enough, so you grabbed your phone to order, but then scoffed when you saw the delivery fee.

“Absolutely not,” you murmured and grabbed your jacket to put it on, then grabbed your keys before walking out of the apartment. The buzz of the alcohol was still in your system despite you throwing up, so you hopped down the stairs and stepped out of the apartment.

Walking did help the nausea and your head spinning, and you were just passing by a shop when the fish tank caught your eye, making you stop in your steps.

Fish.

Interesting.

You stared at the shop window, nearly hypnotized by the lively colors and the fish swimming in the huge fish tank behind the glass but snapped out of it when your phone started vibrating in your pocket.

Logan.

“Oh fuck,” you muttered to yourself as you stared at the name flashing on the screen, your breath hitching. “Oh fuck, oh fuck…”

You took a deep breath, and touched the screen, then took the phone to your ears, your heart pacing in your chest.

“Hey!” you said, your voice going a pitch higher. “Um, what’s up?”

“Hi princess,” he said, his deep voice making you bite at your lip. “Didn’t hear you call, sorry about that.”

“No problem,” you said with a giggle. “Jesus, fish are pretty. Did you know they were pretty? I didn’t really pay attention to them but—oh my God. I’m so buying Theo fish.”

“What?”

“No seriously, he wanted it, and these things are tiny and it’s not that hard to take care of fish, is it? I mean it can’t be harder than taking care of orchids, Nik bought some for me and those things are goddamn suicidal, I tell you.”

“…Are you drunk?”

“Tipsy,” you corrected him as you fished your gloss out of your purse to apply it, staring at the window. “Tipsy-ish? This store is open right? Yeah, I see someone inside—”

“Hold on, you’re drunk and outside?” he asked. “Alone?”

“Yeah but it’s fine,” you said. “I stepped outside for some fresh air and I’m gonna get food but I got distracted by this aquarium—I’ll buy two fish and then put one of those fake trees and stuff into the tank—”

“Stay put, I’ll be there.”

“You don’t even know where I am though?” you said, looking around the street. “I’m close to my apartment but like I said, I need to eat something and Theo needs fish—”

“I’ll follow your scent, stay put,” he said and hung up, making you hum, and then put the phone into your pocket and entered the shop to smile at the owner.

“Good evening sir,” you said. “I need one orange and one white fish please. My son will name them Cheeto and Popcorn.”

                                               *

Logan found you as you were leaving the fast food place, holding the paper bag full of French fries tight with the small fish tank tucked in your other arm. You put the paper bag on the lid on the tank as the roar of the motorcycle made you lift your head and you looked over your shoulder.

Jesus Christ, he was too hot.

You could swear there were flying hearts circling your head as he got off the motorcycle and made his way to you, his herculean figure making you sigh before you looked up at his handsome face, your heartbeat getting faster.

“Hi sweetheart.”

You blinked up at him, still hugging the tank to your chest. “Hi. You’re very handsome.”

That made the corners of his mouth twitch into a small smile before he tilted his head.

“How much did you drink, again?”

“Um…” you bit inside your cheek, looking up at the dark sky to calculate in your head. “Six cocktails and a couple of shots. The shots were Julie’s idea though.”

“Right.”

“Hold this,” you said, pushing the tank into his arms before grabbing the paper bag to open it. “Ugh, I’m starving! Are you hungry?”

“Nope,” he said, still smiling. “Go ahead.”

You hummed a song to yourself as you dug into the fries, and cleared your throat, trying to focus.

“You didn’t have to drive all the way here,” you said. “My place isn’t far.”

“Mm hm, and you’re drunk.”

“Tipsy,” you corrected him as you chewed on the fries with him walking beside you. “I swear to God, potatoes are the best vegetable to grace this earth—what were you doing when I called? Am I keeping you from something?”

“Nope,” he said. “I was walking around the halls to make sure everything was alright, I didn’t take my phone with me. How about you? Fun night?”

“So much fun!” you said as you popped a couple of fries into your mouth. “Julie is seeing this guy—well, they slept together, and apparently he’s still living with his ex and it’s like a huge red flag for her, but seriously the rents are insane nowadays so I don’t—Logan, what are your thoughts on premarital sex?”

That made his head whip around and he stared at you while you calmly chewed on the fries, waiting for his answer.

“…Huge fan of it?” he said after a beat and you nodded your head.

“Same here,” you said as you started walking again. “Did you—um, so do you count as Victorian or Georgian? I always mix those two up for some reason.”

He pulled his brows together. “What?”

“I watch a lot of period movies, I think yearning is the most romantic thing in the entire world, that hand scene in Pride and Prejudice changed me as a person,” you said as you reached into the paper bag to pull out more fries. “Um, I have a lot of questions for you and I know you’re this cool and mysterious guy so you can just say yes or no.”

He stifled a laugh. “Sure thing, hit me.”

“Did anyone give you their handkerchief?”

“No.”

You gasped. “No one gave you their handkerchief? What a bunch of assholes!”

“I had other priorities in mind during those times, sweetheart.”

“Yearning is a priority, Logan,” you said wistfully. “Next question, were you ever accidentally engaged?”

“How does one get accidentally engaged?”

“People see you talking to each other without a chaperone.”

“What?” he asked with a grimace. “I don’t—no.”

“No wonder why you like modern times better, now that I think about it,” you murmured as you looked into the bag, then heaved a sigh when you saw only a couple of fries in it. You grabbed them and threw them into your mouth, then scrunched up the paper bag to throw it into the nearest trash can. “Do you like Cheeto and Popcorn?”

Logan pulled his brows together. “Come again?”

“The fish!” you pointed at the small fish tank he was holding in one hand and he looked down at it, then chuckled.

“Right,” he said. “They look nice, sweetheart.”

“Right? Theo will be very happy, and—is there any rules against pets at the school? Because he will want to take them there.”

“We can bend the rules a little for him, it’s fine,” he said, making you smile at him brightly.

“Aw thank you!” you said as you licked your lips, then looked around before turning to Logan. “Logan?”

His eyes held a soft light in them. “Hm?”

“Can I see your claws?”

He frowned slightly but unsheathed his claws. “Why? I don’t see any threats, do you—”

He was cut off when you held onto his arm to lift his hand a little to see the blur reflection of your face on the metal, then dabbed at your lip gloss that had smudged a little with the tip of your finger. You could feel Logan staring at you so you lifted your gaze for a moment.

“What?”

“…You—you know I’ve hurt a lot of people with them, right?”

“And now you’re helping me fix my makeup with them,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders. “Things can be of multiuse.”

He didn’t comment on it as you rubbed your lips together, then dropped his hand to beam at him. “Thanks!”

“No problem,” he managed to say with a small chuckle. “You are something else, you know that?”

“I’m taking that as a compliment,” you said happily but before you could thank him again, you noticed two guys staring at him, no doubt because of the claws. You could feel the sudden rush of anger sparking to life as you narrowed your eyes at them.

“What?” you snapped, making them snap out of the haze, exchanging glances. Logan raised his brows, his lips twitching as if he was amused. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing,” one of them said. “Just claws—”

“Yeah, so?” you asked him as you took a step towards him but Logan put his hand over the back of your neck, gently pulling you back, looking like he was trying his hardest to keep a straight face and not burst into laughter as the guy stepped back. “What, do you wanna fight or something?”

“…No?”

“Then fucking act like it, how about that?”

“Your girl is aggressive, bro.”

“That she is,” Logan said, rubbing his thumb over the back of your neck. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

“It’s rude to stare, okay?” you told them over your shoulder as you started walking beside Logan. “No seriously like, didn’t your mom teach you anything? Call her, let’s see what she’ll say about you staring at strangers!”

Logan pursed his lips together to control the chuckle vibrating in his chest before he cleared his throat.

“Unbelievable,” you grumbled. “No seriously, even Theo knows not to stare at people and he still believes in Santa! That’s no excuse, what the fuck was that? You should’ve let me kick his ass!”

“I think you scared them off enough.”

“Good!”

“Do you always look for fights when you’re drunk?”

“I’m tipsy and I have zero tolerance for disrespect, Logan,” you pointed out. “I mean honestly, who raised these boys?”

Logan bit back a smile, then nodded in the direction of your building.

“Come on,” he said and you pulled out your keys, but then dropped them with a gasp. Logan picked them up, then opened the building’s door for you.

“It’s kind of like a handkerchief situation when you think about it,” you said happily as you climbed the stairs. If you weren’t so drunk, you would’ve noticed earlier that he was in fact in your building but it only dawned on you when you stopped in front of your apartment, then held your breath.

“Logan?” you asked, your heart beating faster at the possibility. “Would you like to come in?”

“I’ll just make sure you actually go to bed and not wander off to the street completely drunk,” he told you and you pouted your lips as he opened your door for you.

Stepping into your apartment, you yawned and looked over your shoulder as he closed the door behind him, then held up the fish tank.

“Where do you want to put it?”

“The kitchen is fine,” you said, pointing at the kitchen and he made his way to the kitchen while you swayed on your steps, making your way to your bedroom to fling yourself on the bed, kicking off your shoes. You heard the sound of water running before the footsteps came closer and you sat up in the bed, tucking your legs under you. Logan entered your bedroom, his hazel gaze focusing on you for a moment before he shook his head slightly and handed you the huge glass of water.

“Drink it.”

“Oh I’m not thirsty.”

“Drink it,” he repeated and you heaved a sigh, then took a sip of it before lowering the glass to your lap.

“I’m pretty sure those cocktails will knock you out but off the chance that you wake up still drunk, I need you to promise me—” Logan started but a tiny lint on the skirt of your dress caught your attention, making you distracted. You pulled at it with a frown but felt Logan tilt your chin up so that you could look up at him.

“Eyes on me princess, look at me.”

You could feel the warmth spreading through you as your eyes met his, pleasant goosebumps rising on your arms as you blinked up at him in adoration.

“Your voice is very deep,” you murmured and he smiled slightly.

“Did you hear a word I said?”

You thought for a moment, then shook your head.

“Don’t wander off to the street if you wake up in the middle of the night,” he said. “I need to get back to the institute but—”

“Or you could stay?” you asked, your voice soft in the quiet, dimly lit room and a shadow moved behind his hazel gaze, making your heart skip a beat. You knew he knew what you meant, and hope filled your system, making you feel nearly lightheaded at the possibility of him feeling half of the fire running through your veins.

You could swear there was some sort of invisible lighting crackling between you, making your breath catch in your throat as he traced your bottom lip with his thumb, making your eyes flutter close for a second before you looked up at him again.

“Logan…”

“That is not happening when you’re drunk, sweetheart,” he said, his voice low and you pulled your brows together.

“It could.”

“It won’t.”

 You bit inside your cheek, blinking up at him and he frowned as if trying to pull himself together. His knuckles brushed over your cheekbone softly before he withdrew his hand, then leaned down to press his lips to the top of your head, making you heave a sigh.

“Call me when you wake up tomorrow,” he said before he pulled back, then walked out of the room.

You heard the front door open, then close and you let out a whine, then let yourself fall back on the bed, pressing your fingertips on your lips. A giggle you couldn’t stop climbed up your throat and you lowered your hand, then took off your dress to throw it to somewhere in the room before grabbing the covers to pull them over your head, a huge smile curling your lips as you closed your eyes, sleep pulling you into its warmth.

7 - Heat Wave

[starryeyedjanai]

Steve and Eddie meet through their local buy-nothing-sell-nothing group when Steve’s getting ready to move in with Robin and he realizes he can't keep everything he owns while trying to merge households with her.

The first time they meet, Steve hadn't even been meaning to actually meet the person picking up the free toaster oven he’s giving away.

He’s setting his toaster oven outside his house on the porch when Eddie hops out of his van to pick it up and it would be rude to duck back inside without saying anything since he obviously sees him coming up, so they make small talk for a minute and Steve has to keep his eyeballs in check because they keep wanting to rake all the way down this guy’s body.

He’s covered in tattoos and so extremely Steve's type, but he knows better than to hit on someone who lives in his neighborhood and is not here for that reason.

He laments to Robin about it the next day, about the hot guy who’s probably using Steve's toaster oven as they speak, who he’ll probably never see again.

Robin rolls her eyes fondly at him and tells him that maybe if he puts more stuff up for grabs on the facebook group, he might see him again, but Steve suspects she just wants him to get rid of more of his stuff so it doesn't overcrowd their new apartment.

The set of items he puts up in the group next is an old blender and a butcher block that has three of the knives missing—seriously where did those knives go? He has yet to find them.

He tries to pretend he isn't secretly hoping Eddie will comment under his post that he wants the items, but he isn't fooling himself when his heart literally skips a beat when the first comment is from Eddie. He messages him and tells him to stop by later that day.

When Eddie shows up, they talk for longer than last time, Eddie asking why Steve needs to get rid of so much stuff and Steve asking why Eddie needs all this stuff—especially considering Steve snooped through the group and saw that Eddie joined over a year ago and hadn't once commented before now (he doesn't mention that thought, but he is thinking it real hard).

Eddie laughs and says he was in the market for a toaster oven when Steve posted one and wouldn't you know it? He also needs a blender—the knife set is just a bonus, he says.

Steve tries not to read too much into it, but his brain is spinning the interaction around in his head for the next week.

He puts up a space heater in the group and within minutes, Eddie has claimed it.

“I should just get your number and text you directly when I find something I want to get rid of next time,” Steve says flippantly when Eddie comes by to grab it that night. “Instead of clogging up the facebook group.”

Eddie smirks at him and steps a little closer. He says, “Maybe you should.”

His neighbor’s car alarm decides to go off right at that moment, ruining the flirty atmosphere with its incessant shrill. They can barely hear each other over the drone of it, so Eddie leaves without giving Steve his number and Steve is left feeling like he keeps having these missed connection moments with Eddie.

In a fit of desperation to see Eddie again, Steve puts up a bunch of random stuff in the group the next day—a shoe rack that’s missing a piece, a step stool, a cheap side table he got from Ikea—and Eddie is still the first person to comment like he’s been refreshing the page, just waiting for Steve to post.

“I left without giving you my number last time and I didn't want to be creepy and message you unprompted,” Eddie says as they load the side table into his van. “I think I was overthinking things and then got kind of spooked.”

“It doesn't look like anything could spook you,” Steve says.

When they get the side table inside the back of the van, Eddie turns to him and admits, “A very pretty boy could.”

Steve can feel his face getting hot. “You think I’m pretty?” he asks.

Eddie nods. “Why do you think I keep coming here? There's no way a person who’s lived here for as long as I have would need all this stuff.”

“Did you need any of it?” Steve asks in a teasing voice. “Or were you just so blown away by how cute my profile picture is that you just had to meet me?”

“Oh, I needed the toaster oven, but everything after that was just to see you again,” Eddie says before biting his lip.

There’s an entire swarm of butterflies in his stomach when Eddie's hand brushes his, when Steve takes Eddie's hand in his and leads him inside his box-filled house.

Later, when they’re making out on Steve's couch—when Steve really should still be packing since he has to move in less than a week—he pulls back to ask, “Wait, so are you gonna put the rest of the stuff you don't need back up for grabs in the group? I feel like that would start so much neighborhood gossip.”

Eddie grins wide and Steve wants to kiss him again, wants to feel his smile against his mouth.

“Oh, we’ll be the talk of the town, baby,” Eddie says, pulling him back in.

[satxnsupreme666]

I love you, it’s ruining my life: Agatha Harkness x fem!reder x Rio Vidal

Masterlist

Requested by: @notlhecxzsa

Summary: Agatha cares for you deeply, she loves you, but her fears stop her from revealing the real feelings she has for you, the only way she knows how to cope with her own feelings is by using sarcasm and from time to time say something mean.

Rio developed feelings for you while watching over Agatha and you during the three years you had stayed with her to take care of the the blue-eyed witch who was under Wanda’s spell, Rio doesn’t like the way Agatha treats you just because she doesn’t know how to deal with her feelings.

Can Rio and the coven help Agatha realize that her actions and comments are not only hurting her but she’s also hurting you in the process? Can Rio help Agatha realize that love doesn’t have to make anyone suffer?

Warnings: Agatha is mean to reader because she doesn´t know how to deal with her feelings, reader gets hurt, reader almost dies, angst, I think that´s it.

Word count: 19k+ 

Author´s notes: In this story Sharon doesn´t die, in fact no one dies, I will always be in denial.

Hello, sorry for being a little bit inactive, and for the requests I have already been sent, have in mind I will be writing them and posting them, just give me please a little bit of time.

@notlhecxzsa thank you so much for requesting this! I really loved your idea! You are really creative and it was really nice to write this, sorry for taking too many days to write this, I´ll be honest I had some really bad days and it was so hard for me to even do anything, but I was finally able to get inspiration and finish this story, again, thank you so much for trusting in me to write your request, it was such a delight to write this, so I hope you like this and that you enjoy it! 💕

I hope all of you enjoy this!🥺💕💕

Taglist: @italianaidiota @midnight-lestrange @eliscannotdance

“Hey, sorry, I didn´t mean to scare you” The tall teen said to you with a soft smile on his face, you had not noticed he had been talking to you for the past minutes, too deep into your own thoughts about how some hours ago Agatha had been released from Wanda’s spell, some hours ago in which Agatha had been thinking that you were her wife, it looked like the older witch did not remember any of the past three years, and Agatha not remembering anything made you feel a pang of sadness to your heart, you had wished at least that during the moments she had been nice and caring towards you she would be able to remember something.

You were going to miss so much the times in which she actually seemed to care about you, and you felt guilty for that, you knew very well Agatha did not like you like that, she just tolerated you because you have proven to her your loyalty, but it had never been enough and would never be.

“It’s alright, I am sorry, I am not so used to people touching me out of nowhere” You replied back at him while you made sure the cups and the table were in order, the teen in front of you tilted his head to the side a little and looked at you with curious eyes.

“What did you ask me again? Sorry” You asked him again, clearing your throat a little, it was a little bit uncomfortable to be under someone else’s gaze, you were also letting him know that he could ask again whatever he had inquired.

“Oh yes! I was just asking how come you were living here with Agatha while she was under the spell and you were…not” He asked you carefully, he could see that whatever had happened was a touchy subject for you.

He still remembered the way Agatha had told you how she thought you had disappeared out of her life for real half an hour ago and then she just left the hall and went upstairs to do god knows what, you had been kind enough to help him untie him out of the rope and helped him to get out of the closet.

“Thank you by the way, for untying me” He said chucking, he could see you were kind and nice, and was really curious about what you were doing with Agatha.

You stopped to think about the past three years and about 7 months, the way Wanda had trapped you under her mind control, giving you the role of Agnes’ wife, you remembered everything perfectly because even from the first 4 months of just watching everything from the inside as if you were on a tv show and being controlled by Wanda’s mind, you were also conscious, living everything without actually having a chance to do something, it had been a weird experience,  but what was also one of the weirdest things, was that you had not felt pain nor anything unlike the other residents of “Westview” that had claimed they were terrorized, you had not felt any type of pain during the months you were controlled, that had been what you assumed to be the first months, because one day you just woke up and what shocked you was that you actually were able to move as you wanted.

The teen cleared his throat softly and you came back to the present again, ready to answer his question.

“Well, I am not sure, I mean, one day I woke up not being able to control myself, following Wanda’s schedule, playing the role she had given to me which had been being Agnes’ wife” You felt your face getting warmer at the mention of your role.

“And then suddenly I was able to move on my own, I was able to actually went where I wanted, I don’t know. Then Agnes, or well, Agatha came to me to tell me she had released me from Wanda’s mind control and that I was in debt with her, so she “hired” me to pay my debt to her with some things, so I just stayed, I felt like I really had a debt with her, you know?” You were such a liar, you knew very well you had stayed because you liked so much the older witch that you wanted to get her approval and get her to like you, so you stayed with her to help her and do whatever she had wanted.

“Then you know, Wanda’s hex was destroyed, I am not sure how and I still don’t know, but the next day Agatha seemed to be a completely different person and claimed to be named Agnes, and well, I couldn’t let her alone, you know? She needed help, I helped her the way I could”

You brushed your shoulders trying to act nonchalant, you just hoped he believed you, because you had stayed with her because of the feelings you had developed for Agatha, and when she actually thought you were her wife and the way she actually treated you or her character “Agnes” had treated you had made you fell harder for the older woman, even though you always tried and made sure not to cross any boundaries because you were aware that was not what Agatha had wanted and you wanted to actually respect her, you never initiated any type of physical contact, she would only hug you and give you soft kisses from time to time, or more like, Agnes had given them to you, but you never actually took advantage of that, you always made sure she was fine, listening to her, to the different ideas and plots her mind had created, always making sure she was fine.

The dark-haired boy nodded slowly and seemed to be analyzing you, so in order for him to stop looking at you so weird you decided to change the subject.

“I also wanted to make sure Señor Scratchy would be fine” You told him and went towards one of the couches in the living room to take the fluffy bunny in your arms, bringing him close to the teen so he could see the bunny closer.

“He is so sweet; can I pet him?” He asked you and you sighed, relieved that he seemed to have forgotten the subject of how you knew Agatha, you nodded and passed the bunny over to him after caressing his little ears.

“He is really sweet, never bites, and he loves to snuggle against people” You proudly said remembering all the times you had spent at night on the couch hugging the bunny closer to you or the times when you had been sad and cried alone laying on the biggest couch and feeling the bunny climbing up and snuggling against your arms, you would always hug him and pet him lovingly.

“He would be an amazing service bunny” You jokingly said and the teen laughed, he was petting his ears and saying how cute the bunny was.

You heard footsteps coming from the stairs and quickly straightened yourself, brushing your hair with your hands to make sure you looked decent for Agatha, you did not notice the teen saw the way you were making sure you looked fine, and he internally laughed, he was sure you liked the older woman but would not comment about it.

Agatha came down wearing sunglasses and a hat, her style always so elegant and so beautiful, she really knew how to dress, you quickly looked back at your clothes, hoping they were enough.

“I see you made yourself useful and helped our guest here” She said to you while eying the teen, her eyes peeking from the top of her sunglasses.

You tried to ignore the comment and just nodded; the teen looked back at you with his eyebrows furrowed together.

“So, are we going to gather our coven?” The teen asked out loud and you went to take Mr.Scratchy from his arms, taking the bunny carefully and making sure the little fluffy ball knew how good he was, Agatha had put her glasses back and thought no one was watching her, so she decided to eye you while you were entertained petting the little bunny, she felt her heart skipping  a beat at the sight, she had always loved the way you were so gentle not only with Mr.Scratchy but with animals in general, you were always so kind that it actually started to make her feel things, which was absurd, because how could someone like you actually make her feel something, it was obviously the fake memories Wanda had implanted on her head, there was no other explanation, she huffed and quickly went to look back at the teen.

“Yeah, whatever, let’s meet our coven” Agatha said with feigned excitement, she turned around and you quickly went to place Mr.Scratchy on the carpet, the teen turned himself around and looked at you with a smile.

“You can help me choose the music we’ll play in the car, I have a variety of songs in my playlist and I also have cd’s if you prefer them” The dark-haired boy said with excitement, and you felt happy to be included in what seemed to be really serious, you came to stand next to the teen when Agatha quickly turned herself with a frown on her face and walked back towards the two of you.

“Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, who told you she could come?” The older witch had felt suddenly a wave of worry taking over her, you were not supposed to be part of that, how would you even be safe? You were not even a witch! She pushed really hard the feeling away and again said to herself it was only the fake memories and fake feelings Wanda had planted in her.

“But I can help” You said eagerly, trying to let her know you would be useful, trying to get her approval one more time.

Agatha felt conflicted, she should not even care about you wanting to come, the more the better, if someone died on the road, no one would care! Everyone had to carry on, and continue to keep on walking down the road, but still, deep down, if something really happened to you, she was not sure what could happen, Agatha did not even want to actually think of something happening to you, but why did she care so much? You were no one to her.

“You are only going to slow us down” Agatha replied looking at you with her arms crossed on her chest, trying to see if maybe you would just agree on not going.

“No wait, I can be useful, you know? I can help you, all of you, just like I have been helping” You said hopeful, trying so hard to convince Agatha to let you join them, you saw the way she pursed her lips and suddenly you felt the same way you used to feel all those months you had passed with her again during Wanda’s hex, your mind going for a moment back to the past, the way she would say a comment that would make you feel bad or how she looked at you when you were too pushy on something, so you quickly lowered your gaze to look at the floor.

Agatha was thinking, too much, many different thoughts coming and going, if she let you go, she would be risking your life, if not many witches survived the road, what could happen to you? You could die and then, she would never get to see you again, her heart was beating so loud she was afraid the teen or you could actually hear her beating heart.

But now that the Salem seven were also behind her, she was powerless, and had no ways to actually do something if you were magically attacked, what would she be able to do?

“You are not even a witch” The way Agatha said that to you, with so much disdain, and making you feel less and not enough made you feel a pang of pain in your heart, you were not used to her mean comments anymore, sure when Wanda was still around and you were helping Agatha the comments and mean actions were common,  but during those three years she had been “Agnes” you had not received any of those, so even now that you were aware and you knew she would make comments like that again, still it shocked you to hear them actually coming from her mouth, hearing them from the woman you loved so much made you want to cry.

Agatha noticed the way your shoulders tensed, and saw the way for a moment an expression full of pain and disappointment was visible on your face, you quickly went to hide and tried to compose yourself, you thought no one would notice it, but she did, you had been so many years with  her that it was something she had picked up from you from the start, your small antics that made you so special, but she was not going to say anything about that.

The teen could not actually believe how even after those years that you had been there taking care of her, Agatha still could treat you like that! It was visible for him that you were head over heels for that woman and yet you tolerated the way she spoke to you, he felt bad for you but also, he did not want to intrude.

The blue-eyed witch felt like she did not know what to do, the only logical way for her to make you not go was the way she knew, the way she was used to, and that was how she was acting, but the sad look on your face and how you were not even looking at her made her for a second think twice what she was doing.

“Fine! Whatever but if you die I am not making a funeral” Agatha quickly said and rolled her eyes turning herself around to start walking to the door, she hated feeling nervous and actually worried for someone else, she had been alone for centuries, never having to look after some else, only looking after her, and then you came, with your sweet smile, kind words and actions, making sure she had what she needed and always tending for her needs, her sweet y/n, but there was no way, you had to know any of that.

Slowly you lifted your head to look at the teen and finally the two of you smiled, you tried to ignore Agatha’s comment, she always said something like that, so you tried not to take it personally, but still it hurt you to hear that.

You realized Agatha had already stepped out of the house.

“We better hurry, Agatha doesn’t like waiting for too long” You said to him and he nodded instantly, the two of you went out and you quickly locked the door, starting to walk behind the teen, following him, you saw Agatha standing next to the car looking at her reflection on the window.

The teen went quickly to open the doors and he went to enter the car to start the engine.

After making sure the three of you were already inside the car the teen smiled at you through the mirror.

“Do you want to play some music?” He inquired while turning the engine on and you were about to say yes but noticed the way Agatha was looking at you through the mirror as well, she had her eyes frowned and decided not to annoy her.

“No, uhm, it’s alright, I mean, whatever you want, don’t worry” You replied back and went to look through the window, trying to avoid their gazes, the teen did not say anything else and started to drive slowly waiting for Agatha to give instructions, but Agatha was too immersed looking at you through the mirror, she was analyzing your expression, the way you seem not to want to cause her any trouble, even going against your own wishes, how could you put her first? Your beautiful face looking at the window, looking at the street and the houses you were passing through, how could you make her feel things she had not felt in centuries?

“Where to Agatha?” The boy asked her directly and she quickly turned her head to look at him.

“Keep driving I’ll tell you when to turn and where to stop” She announced and looked at the path ahead, during the ride Agatha could not keep her eyes off you, looking at you through the mirror, and feeling her heart beat faster at the way your expression tended to change, she was still worried, how would she be able to make sure nothing happened to you?

When you were about to turn your head to look at the other side Agatha quickly turned to look at the other direction so that you would not notice she had been looking at you.

“Wait, stop! You already passed the shop!” Agatha quickly said and the teen had to abruptly stop.

“Oh my god” He said grabbing with a strong grip the steering wheel.

“Are you alright?” The teen asked while looking at you through the mirror and when Agatha saw the way he looked worried she turned her head hastily to look at you, you were grabbing your seatbelt with both of your hands and you just nodded, she sighed in relief seeing you had not hurt yourself.

“Who taught you how to drive?” Agatha said with an annoyed look on her face after the teen made sure to park where the shop was located a few meters behind and finally went to unlock the door to get out of the car. 

The boy and you looked at each other still inside the car, Agatha was already outside walking towards the entrance of the building.

“Is she serious?” The dark-haired boy asked you directly and you only laughed a little bit while slowly nodding.

“Don’t mind her, she doesn’t mean it” You said to him and you proceeded to also get out of the car, the teen did the same and the two of you started to walk alongside towards the waiting older witch.

“Took you long enough” Agatha commented while accommodating her hat.

｡˚ ︶︶✩︶︶  ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩

Getting to know Lilia had been interesting to say the least, the interaction with her made you aware of how Agatha was perceived amongst the other witches, and got you thinking about her and her actions, for you it was not possible that Agatha could be really that selfish right? Could it be true every single thing that was said about her? Maybe other people did not like it, but for you she was just maybe, misunderstood, she was smart, amazing, a beautiful woman, or maybe, just maybe was your heart dictating your brain what to think.

Agatha had been carefully watching you whenever Lilia said something about her,  whenever Lilia reminded her of what other witches thought about her, her past hunting her again, and the way you seemed to be so deep in thought about everything you have heard, made her heart ache with pain, she did not want you to believe all of those things, she did not want you to become afraid of her, but just as she had never actually care for someone in so much time, she didn´t know what to do.

“So, we’re at the mall, where to?” The teen asked with a smile on his face, you stopped walking and waited for Agatha to give instructions.

“Just follow me, it is not too far away” The blue-eyed witch said while starting to walk again, Billy looked at you and you only shrugged your shoulders, the two of you started to follow Agatha from behind.

After entering a shop on the second floor you frowned, where were they supposed to find a witch in there? You were about to ask the teen when you felt someone pushing you hard and losing your balance you fell to the floor, your hand colliding first on the cold floor making you wince in pain, Agatha quickly noticed that and quickly walked closer to you, she got worried thinking you had hurt yourself but when you started to get up the floor so quickly she did not get time to act as if she was not looking carefully at you, you stood up and were surprised to see Agatha standing there in front of you, frowning you sent her a questioning look and Agatha blinked several times before realizing what she was doing and without saying anything she turned herself around to look for the teen and the witch that had tackled him, her heart beating so fast against her chest, the blue-eyed witch cleared her throat and waited for the other witch to just get fired.

You did not understand what had just happened, and Agatha’s action or whatever she had done made you confused, what had just happened?

Agatha was shaken, she could not believe she had acted on impulse, but the thought of you getting hurt made her heart feel a deep feeling of pain and fear, why did she care so much? You were nothing! Not even a witch who she could drain the powers from, you were a mortal, and that was what also made her feel even more afraid, ignoring always could help, at least that’s what she thought would work.

You were not sure what the teen and Agatha were saying to the shorter woman, you were not interested if you were honest, too deep in your own thoughts, why had Agatha gotten closer to you? Did she want to make sure you were not hurt? For a second you heard jumped a bit, feeling warm at the mere thought of Agatha caring about you, but then you remembered how three years ago you had gotten hurt because she had got mad and she did not even turn herself around to take a look at you. You remembered that day very clearly and it made you shiver, she had been mad that day, mad because her plan was not working, mad because she couldn’t understand how Wanda had created everything from scratch, how she had brought her dead husband back or how she even created her two children! She was not even close to what she wanted and your only error had been to ask if she needed help.

You winced at the memory of her words, the way she had turned herself around so fast you were afraid she would hurt herself.

“How are you going to help me? You don’t even have powers, you are not even useful, you can’t get the information I have already told you to get, if you want to help, you will leave” Agatha had said to you and you had felt the way the tears started to fall down your face.

“You can’t be serious, I am the one who is stressed, you are fine here! I released you from the spell, you are not suffering, I gave you a chance to help me, and you are crying?” You could see Agatha getting angrier and the way her eyes started to grow purple made you afraid.

“Why won´t you leave? I said leave!” Agatha had yelled and the next thing you knew, you had been thrown out of the room, colliding against the wall and falling onto the hard wooden floor with a hard thud, it had hurt, but it was not a unbearable pain, you had slowly stood up groaning a little and Agatha just looked at you with her eyes widened, but quickly turned herself around and walked out of the house, leaving you alone in there, you had felt awful, you wanted to think she had not made it on purpose, you had wanted to convince yourself that she had done it without thinking twice, always listening to your heart instead of your brain, always making excuses for her, and that was what ruined you, always excusing everything she said and did, loving her was sometimes hard, but you couldn’t stop the feeling.

“Are you hungry?” A hand on your shoulder made you jump slightly taking you back to the present, you blinked several times only to realize you were on the food court of the mall, when had you gotten there? 

“Not really” You answered the teen and smiled at him, he nodded and when you saw Agatha you noticed she was looking at you again with that unreadable expression on her face, she quickly lifted her hand to scratch her eyebrow slightly and turned herself around to walk towards a free table to seat there. The way you always jumped slightly whenever someone touch you out of nowhere made her also feel worried, what had happened to you? She really wanted to know but she did not have the courage to ask you out loud.

Agatha’s gaze made you feel a little bit weirded out because, she had never looked at you that way, was she analyzing you? thinking you were just a bother? You had many ideas running through your head, so many bad things that she could be thinking about you so you decided to just take your phone out to start scrolling whatever you could find.

You were trying so hard to focus on something else trying not to mind Agatha and when the teen asked what she wanted to eat and the two of them went to order their food you decided to take that little time to go to the nearest bathroom to wash your face. You still couldn’t understand why Agatha was looking at you in such a weird way, you never knew what she could be thinking or what her next move could be, so you only hoped for the best, feeling the cold water on your face relaxed you a little, you tried to lessen the tension on your shoulders and finally when you dried your face you decided it was time to go back to the two people you had come with, what you had not expecting was Agatha and the teen standing there in front of the table you had chosen and looking everywhere around the place, Agatha seemed to be tense, the way her shoulders seemed to tense just as she was speaking to the teen as if she was scolding him but you were not sure why.

Slowly you made your way to them, trying not to interrupt the conversation they were having in order not to bother Agatha, you did not want to make her angry at you.

After making sure you were centimeters away from them, you were able to hear what was the older witch and the teen talking about.

“You could have made sure she stayed here! Why couldn’t you watch where she went to?” Agatha sounded pissed but you were not understanding what was going on.

“I went with you to pay for the food! How was I supposed to know she would be leaving?” The teen had lifted his hands up in the air, not knowing what to do.

You cleared your throat to announce yourself and the two of them quickly turned themselves to look at you, when Agatha saw you, she felt relieved, she had felt her heart would stop at any minute trying to figure out where had you gone or if you had finally decided you wanted to leave her and be free, she had thought the worst, had you finally realized she was not a good person? That she was actually a wicthkiller and she was not capable of loving? She almost cried feeling desperate not knowing where you had gone, and seeing you there back again in front of her, made her feel at peace, she had wanted to hug you but again, she suppressed that feeling and only sighed.

“You know you could have said where you were going?” Agatha quickly commented while turning around to finally take a seat, she started to eat her corndog nonchalantly as if she had not just blamed the teen for losing you out if their sight and almost crying at the thought of you leaving, the teen was trying so hard not to laugh so he took the seat next to Agatha and brought the cup he had on the table to his lips, covering his grin.

You did not understand what had just happened or why she seemed so annoyed that you had left for some minutes, so deciding not to comment nor say anything you sat down on the seat in front of Agatha and the teen.

The older witch started to eat nonchalantly as if nothing had happened and the teen proceeded to do the same, you did not find anything to do so you just decided to keep doing what you had been doing on your phone, there was not much to do, you still had to wait for them to finish eating and then you had to still look for the other witches to complete the coven.

Your mind wandered back to a few hours ago, when you had heard Lilia saying random names of tarot cards, you had studied a little bit of tarot a while ago, and from what you knew, the first card Lilia had said out of nowhere had been Ace of cups, what did you remember about ace of cups? It had to do with new beginnings, right? Something about new relationships, what else? A card alone could have many different meanings, cards also have to be paired to have a more specific meaning, right? What other cards had Lilia said? Six of cups and two of cups, the meaning could also depend on the deck and also the context of course, what did you remember about the six of cups card? 

It had to do with nostalgia? You tried to think harder, and yes you remembered! It also had to do with the past, in certain cases that could mean the past could come back somehow, revisiting some past memories? You were not sure, the meaning of that was the one you remembered the most, it had to do with partnership, creating a union, union of forces, could it be the coven reuniting and forming a union? You were not sure and tried not to think about it too much, you just wanted to remember what the cards could mean.

The last card Lilia had mentioned had been the lovers and that card could have just as every other tarot card a different meaning depending on the context, so it would be too risky to jump into any conclusions even though you wished deeply for that card to have a good meaning for you and a certain blue-eyed witch,  Agatha noticed the way you seemed to be thinking a lot, the way you unconsciously tended to bite your lower lip while you were too focused on whatever you were thinking, it was an habit she had noticed since you started living with her when Wanda was still around, even if she never allowed herself to say it out loud, she had picked up almost all of your gestures, expressions and even antics, and could only wondered why you looked to be so worried.

The next stop all of you made was on the shop of the famous social media influencer Jennifer Kale, you felt nervous getting to be near someone as famous as her who had so many followers, the teen seemed to be excited due to his bouncy state.

 “Aren´t you excited?” The boy asked you with a huge smile on his face, you nodded slightly letting him know that you were feeling the same, Agatha eyed you a little, she was walking behind you and noticed you shifting a little, showing that you were feeling nervous, it was something you used to do all the time when feeling stressed or nervous, moving your legs a little or passing your hands various times through your hair to soothe yourself, during those three years she would caress your hair a little to help you feel at ease, but right now, she could not get herself to do it .

You still did not understand why Agatha kept staring at you with such a weird look that you did not understand, so you only decided not to engage too much into their conversation with Jennifer, and only stood next to the teen.

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The way Agatha had ripped the teen´s decoration to welcome the witches made you feel a little bit bad for him, but you knew Agatha was feeling stressed, you even felt stressed because you did not know what would be waiting for you on the road, and it also made you feel scared.

“Hey” You said softly to Agatha with a frown on your face, she quickly looked back at you and felt surprised for your reaction.

“It looked nice, he did it with his own hands, I gave him the sheets of paper and the markers, it was pretty” Agatha blinked several times and when she saw the way you had stretched out for her to give her back the decoration Agatha did not think twice and handed it to you.

The teen was smirking and when Agatha saw him, she only rolled her eyes at him and walked into the other room, leaving you and him to keep on doing what you had planned.

“How did you do that?” The dark-haired boy had a big smirk on his face, and you only shrugged your shoulders not understanding what he meant, so you only gave to him back what he had made and helped him to put it back on the wall.

 “That looks nice” A voice behind you commented and you turned yourself around to look at the woman who had arrived.

“He made it” You replied smiling softly at the potion´s witch and she returned the smile, even if you had not spoked with her that much, she could see you were nice.

“Thank you for coming” The boy looked at her with a big smile. Lilia arrived secondly and you greeted her happily, waving your hand at her, she did the same to you and the boy offered them a snack, you were not sure where he had gotten them, but decided not to ask, Agatha could not have given them to him, right?

 “Hi” The woman with the red strands of hair arrived, she had her hands on her pockets and you smiled at her as well.

 “Sorry for tackling you” Alice said to the teen and then looked at you.

“Sorry for making you fall as well” Smiling you laughed out loud.

 “It´s alright, it was not that bad, don´t worry” Alice nodded and shily looked at the floor.

“What type of witch are you?” Jennifer suddenly asked you and you quickly shook your head.

“Oh, no, I am not a witch I am just here helping Agatha” You replied with a smile on your face, the three witches looked at each other with a confused look, they did not understand how could someone be happy helping Agatha, you seemed too nice to be working with her.

Before anyone could make more questions, Agatha appeared again, entering the living room dressed completely different, she really looked amazing with that coat on her.

“Alright, let´s walk the road” The new coven started to walk towards Agatha´s basement and you decided to go grab Mr. Scratchy to put him in a safe place, the teen followed you to get him back onto his large cage to get him safe, you two were too concentrated on making sure the bunny was fine that you did not get to hear the conversation about them needing a green witch, you did not even notice when Agatha left the house and came back with Mrs. Davis behind her.

“Alright, we are all set” The teen nodded and walked back to one of the couches to seat in there, you decided you would go the basement to see how else you could help Agatha with.

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“You can’t be here” Agatha quickly said to you making sure the other witches were not listening, she had guided you towards the stairs of her basement to let you know you were not allowed to be in her basement, at least not right now, she did not even know what could happen and deep down the fear was taking over her again, she feared something could really happen to you, and if you got hurt, she would never forgive herself, but how could she let you know that without making a fuss of her own emotions? Without actually saying out loud what she felt?

Your confused look made you look so pretty, why were you so kind to her even after everything she had done? You were too pure and yet you wanted to help her.

“But then how am I going to help?” You asked her, completely confused on why Agatha was telling you not be there with them, the older woman didn´t want you to get hurt, she did not even know what was going to happen and she could not risk you getting hurt.

“Listen, I know you want to help, but remember, the only ones who can open the door are witches, so, you would be more helpful if you go back and stay with the boy and wait for me to give you more instructions, alright?” She was trying so hard to convince you to go back and was hoping that you would accept quickly, she was sure you still had not even noticed about the weird entities wanting to get her, and you were also completely oblivious to the fact that her former lover had also paid her a visit, so she really needed for her and her new “coven” to get through this as fast as possible.

“Alright” You said to her and Agatha felt relieved you understood quickly.

She made sure you closed the door behind you and went back to the circle.

“What a beautiful wife and helping wife you have Agatha” Mrs. Davis commented, she remembered you and her being on Wanda´s hex and from time to time she also saw you going to the grocery store or just walking down the street during those past three years, of course the woman did not know what had happened.

All of the other witches hastily turned their heads to look at Agatha with a shocked expression on their faces, how was it possible that Agatha had a wife?

Agatha laughed nervously and tried to act as if that comment had not meant anything to her.

“How did you get her to be your wife? Do you have it under some kind of spell?” Jennifer asked with a smirk on her face, how could it be possible? Agatha pursed her lips not wanting to give explanations.

“Well Jennifer, unlike you I can actually get someone who wants to be with me, not magic involved, are you jealous?” The smirk on Agatha´s face made Jennifer feel her blood boiling and Lilia sensed the tension.

“We are not here to discuss anyone´s love life, we have a goal in common ladies” The Sicilian witch tried to reason with them, not wanting for a fight to start.

“Yeah, maybe you can give us some tips later” Alice commented while raising her eyebrows and nodding slowly, Lilia turned her head to look at her with her left eyebrow raised.

“What?” Alice did not understand the look on the curly haired witch.

Upstairs, you went back to sit next to the boy, and looked at you with a concerned expression on his face.

“Agatha told me to come wait here with you” He tilted his head and looked at you carefully.

“We can play a card game in the meantime if you want, I have the Uno game card, I mean it is only the two of us, but,-“

“Sure, I love board and card games, so let´s play” He interrupted you, he loved card games and always was eager to play one with people he liked, he was sure you and him could be great friends. 

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You looked at Agatha standing herself from the water slide, the way she had not let you get cut your skin with the knife, she had taken the teen’s hand to get the blood they needed, the way she had seen so reluctant to actually cut you with the knife when you had offered yourself, the way she quickly snapped back and said no to you, or how she had taken the glass of wine out of your hands, she had not allowed you to drink from the poisoned wine, claiming only true witches were allowed to drink,  but those little actions made your heart flutter with happiness, maybe she really cared about you? Maybe she actually felt something nice towards you? You were beyond happy, finally Agatha was showing something else towards you than just annoyance and that made you feel a lot better.

Agatha felt on edge, she was making sure you would not hurt yourself, but you were making it hard for her, really hard, when she saw you with the glass on your hands, her heart beat so faster that she thought it was going to get out of her ribcage, you almost drank the wine because you had been joking around the teen, she was not sure what you two were laughing about, and her heart felt warm at the sight, but when she saw you were about to take a sip, she had lost her composure for a minute, she had not cared if the others saw her, you were more important to her than anything else or what other people could think, she ran towards you and snatched the glass from your hands, everyone looked at her with wide eyes including you and she only said something mean to cover her real feelings and her beating heart.

 You and Billy had only looked at each other with a confused look and just brushed what had happened off, Agatha always did something like that.

Agatha felt he heart skip a beat not long after the wine incident, you had offered your own hand to get the blood they needed, wanting to help, always willing to help whoever was in need, and again she did not understand how you were not afraid, she was not going to cut your skin, there was no way she would hurt you like that, so she quickly took the teen’s hand and cut his skin, she gave you a quick look with a weird expression you had not seen before, Agatha was stressed, how would she be able to help you and take care of you when you were putting yourself in such dangerous situations!?

Agatha felt relieved for a moment, you had gotten out of the trial without a scratch, you were safe, you were still there in front of her, until the teen and you started to explore the path a little too far away, Alice was saying something about a way to get Mrs. Davis out of the road, to keep her safe, but Agatha was not listening anymore, her eyes squinting to look at the two of you trying to take some orange leaves from the path, but when she saw the way your foot had tripped over she felt her heart skipping a beat again, her worried face showed what she was actually feeling, not daring to hide her emotions, the blue-eyed witch ran off to where you had fallen on the mud as quick as she could.

You had been trying to reach for a weird shaped leave on the path outside the actual road to show it to the teen but the next thing you knew you were fighting to walk out of the pool of mud that seemed to engulf you more and more as the seconds passed, you felt the teen grabbing you by your hands,  trying to push you back over to the road, but it was not working, he was doing everything he could until he felt a body pushing him to the side, a strong pair of arms circled your waist and in less than a second, you were released from the mud, you lifted your head to see the blue-eyed woman looking worriedly at you, she took your face in her hands, checking for any type of wounds and when you were about to throw yourself at her to hug her, she quickly turned herself around to walk back towards the other witches.

You felt confused? What had just happened, so you decided to follow Agatha from behind until you reached her when she was closer to her coven, even if you were scared of her reaction, you stretched your hand out to touch her shoulder.

“Agatha?” You asked in a small voice, and Agatha turned herself around to look at you, the way her blue eyes for a minute turned purple and the way her eyebrows were furrowed aggressively, made you feel small.

“You should not even be here! You are not a witch! You are nothing!” Agatha quickly pressed her hand over her mouth, she had not wanted for that to happen, she had not meant what had come out of her mouth, she did not mean any of what she had said, but the way you had  put yourself in danger already three times and being careless to get outside the path, that you had almost drowned in the mud made her feel even more powerless, she did not have her magic, she was useless! How would she be able to actually save you from a magical threat or even from the Salem seven! She had snapped out of fear and stress, but she did not actually mean what she had said.

Too late, she thought when she noticed your beautiful eyes getting glossy, and the way you looked down at the floor, her heart ached so much looking at you this way, she would have loved to pull you closer to her and hug you but she couldn’t get herself to actually do it.

You felt guilty for missing “Agnes” the way she treated you with respect, the way she made you feel seen and showered you with gifts and compliments, the way she hugged you when she noticed you were feeling under the weather.

Of course, you felt guilty because, “Agnes” was not even real, it was an illusion, something Wanda had created, only playing a role she was assigned to play along, “Agnes” had been just an illusion, a dream! A beautiful dream that you could not help but miss, it had been three years of you sharing your life with “Agnes” and even if she was under a spell, you actually saw the cracks of her actual self, her real personality, some times it was more noticeable but the only thing that actually differed from “Agnes” and Agatha was their way they treated you. Even if you knew the way “Agnes” had treated you had been just something she had to play under the spell, you could not help but wish that Agatha would treat you some day like that, hoping to get her to like you at least, you wanted her to love you the same way you loved her, why had you been doomed to love the person who did not even like you at all?

Even if you had lived three years with her, it only had felt like a short period of time, you had spent so many time loving her, waiting for her to reciprocate your feelings for real, but at this point, you knew it would never happen, and you would only love her forever even if you did not want to, because, how on earth could you actually stop loving her? 

Agatha could not stand the state you were in, she had caused this, she had hurt you, again, she did not deserve you, she would never deserve you, you would only get more and more hurt with her by your side, how could you still be there with her?

You knew Agatha very well, or at least that was what you thought, but did you really?

The three years you had passed with her, you had thought you had got to know her entirely,  you had let yourself think that maybe if you were patient enough with her, gave her enough space, the space she needed, the time she needed to open up, she would realize slowly that she could trust you, and then she would magically realize you loved her completely and that you would do anything for her, hoping she would return one day your feelings, but just as you still could hear her screaming at you, you felt so stupid, still holding onto a stupid daydream and feeling that would never happen,

You loved her so much it was ruining your life and even though you knew that very well, you were sure you would not stop doing it.

Lilia noticed the tension between you and her, well, everyone noticed the tension, but no one dared to move or say something, too afraid to make everything worse, the teen was mad, he could not understand why Agatha treated you the way she did, when the only thing you wanted was to help her and make sure she was fine, you had stayed with her for three years! Taking care of her making sure she would be fine! How could Agatha be so selfish? How could she not be grateful for once in her life? He couldn’t take it anymore, you were one of the kindest people he had gotten to know, and  the way she treated you and said mean things to you had to change, he started to walk towards the two of you to face Agatha and help her to get some sense into that thick skull of hers, Lilia noticed the boy walking with an angry expression on his face, the way his hands had formed into fists and knew that would end up even worse, the divination witch turned her face to quickly look at Jenn and Alice and as if they had understood the two witches nodded at her and Lilia took this chance to quickly stand up and walk as fast as she could towards the fuming teen to stop him.

Lilia put her hand on his shoulder and placed herself in front of him, to stop him from going farther and looked at him straight into his eyes.

The dark-haired boy frowned, confusion all over his face, but Lilia only shook her head, as if telling him not to do what he had in mind.

“Let’s give them time, I can sense your intentions are good, but we cannot interfere, I hate the way that poor girl is treated but we cannot interfere right now” The boy nodded slowly, trying to clear his head, maybe Lilia was right, but he still hated seeing you so sad.

“I will take the girl to have a chat with her, you stay here and make sure Agatha takes back that poor woman back to her home, alright?” Lilia patted his shoulder and turned back herself to get closer to you and Agatha, you were still looking down to the floor, crying silently, Agatha was looking at you not moving, just stuck there in front of you with some tears falling from her face, Lilia came next to you and placed her left hand on your shoulder, in a slow way and making sure she made sound in order to alert you that someone was behind you and getting closer to you, she had noticed the way you tended to tense when someone got too closer too you without alerting first and when someone touched you without letting you know before, so she did not want to cause you more distress, it made her feel content, that she did not startle you.

“Let’s take a walk alright sweetheart?” You nodded and slowly turned yourself around to start walking never taking your eyes off the floor, Lilia saw the way you started to walk slowly and went back to look at Agatha.

“I’m going to make sure she’s fine, please take Sharon back to her home, we don’t need more innocent people getting hurt” Agatha nodded quickly and hastily wiped the tears off her face, Lilia gave her a soft smile before turning her body around and walked towards you, she then placed her hand again on your shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze, that action comforted you, and you made a mental note to thank her for that later. Lilia and you walked next to each other, the older and gentle woman never letting go of your shoulder, you walked in silence for some minutes, until you reached a tall tree with some tree-trunks on the floor, Lilia guided you to them and made you take a seat on one of them, she sat to your right and took your hands in hers, feeling her warm hands made you feel your eyes getting glossy again, she was comforting you and it made your heart warm.

“Oh, sweet girl, why do you keep suffering in silence?” The Sicilian witch asked you with a worried expression on her face, you didn’t dare to lift your face, keeping your eyes on the floor, too ashamed to look at her.

You felt a hand on your chin and Lilia lifted your face to look into your eyes.

“You don´t have to suffer alone, I know you don´t have magic, but that doesn´t mean you are not part of this coven, yes, it is a little messy coven, gathered on the last hour, but still a coven, and you are part of this coven, you trust in me, Alice and Jenn, I know all of us are wary of Agatha, but that doesn´t mean we feel the same towards you, you are nice, kind, and have such a pretty smile that can be contagious, I now you and Agatha are not together, and I know there is much more between you and her, I see you have a deep love for her, a love that is hurting you, so tell me, what´s going on?” Lilia spoke with such a soft tone that made you feel safe, the way she had referred to you as being part of the coven made you feel happy, you felt like you could trust in her, so you decided to do it and tell her how you had met Agatha and how you had slowly fell in love with her, Lilia never let go of your hands, caressing the back of your hands with so much delicacy that it made you feel warm on the inside.

“I still don´t know why she hates me so much, I don´t get it, I thought I would be able to make her like me at least, but she doesn´t even tolerate me, I know she doesn´t care, she always makes sure to say it out loud, but why does she have to be so mean? I know maybe I should not love her the way I do, not after everything she has done, but I cannot make myself stop the feeling, I love her and I hate the way loving her makes me feel” Lilia listened to you carefully, making sure not to interrupt you, she did not think Agatha did not care about you, she saw the way the blue-eyed witch had ran off towards you, she saw the desperate state Agatha had been when she saw you almost drowning in the mud, she saw the way she had hesitated to cut your skin, but hadn´t had any problem using the knife on the teen, Lilia was a very observant woman and was aware of how Agatha always looked at you and watched you carefully since all of you had arrived at the road.

She knew Agatha cared for you, deeply, but the way she treated you made you see the contrary and also made Lilia wondered the reason of her cold treatment towards you but the immense care she felt for you when you were not looking, Lilia was not dumb, and neither any of the other witches, even the teen noticed the way Agatha looked at you from time to time when she thought no one was looking, but her actions demonstrated the contrary, and the only one who could show you and let you know the truth to stop the pain you had in you was the same person who inflicted the pain on you, Agatha had to be the one to talk properly with you, but Lilia was not even sure if Agatha would do it, the purple witch was stubborn and sarcastic, and listened to no one but herself, so trying to talk to her would not even work.

“Listen dear, I´ve seen some things, I have lived for centuries, and I can assure you, Agatha just does not know how to express herself correctly, I am not making excuses for her, no, the way she treats you is not correct, and it makes me feel angry at her for causing pain to you, but I can also see she is in pain as well, I am not the one who needs to speak about what she feels, just give her some time, and take some time for you as well, I know it is really hard right now, because we have to help each other and we are constantly together, but take some time for you and for her, you can always come to me if you feel safe, even Alice, Jenn and the boy would be more than happy to help you and make sure you are fine, alright?” You nodded, not understanding completely everything she had said, but still having her listening to you and advising you made you feel content and kept your heart warm, she gave one last squeeze to your hands and you smiled softly at her.

“See? You have such a pretty smile, it hurts me to see you so sad sweetheart” You laughed softly and Lilia laughed as well, your smile and laugh was really contagious.

“Can I hug you?” You liked that Lilia had asked before and you quickly nodded, you really needed a hug right now, you felt her arms surrounding you and you did the same, her hug made you feel happy and kept your heart warm, Lilia was such a kind woman, with such a beautiful soul.

You heard some footsteps getting closer in a slow way, and Lilia and you separated slowly, you wiped your face again with the sleeve of your jacket and gave her another smile.

“Hey” You heard someone greeting in front of you, and turning your head to look at the owner of that voice you saw Alice walking slowly towards you, her hands stuck inside the pockets of her jacket, she was walking slowly while shuffling her feet against the leaves and dirt, she looked to the floor and then looked at you, trying not to intrude or make you feel uncomfortable, she came to stand in front of you and Lilia, noticing how Alice was moving her feet around the ground shily, and it made you chuckle slight.

“You can come sit here next to me” You patted the spot to your right and Lilia couldn´t help but smile at the interaction, Alice smiled widely and felt excited you had let her sit next to you, she took the spot right next to you making sure she did not cross any boundaries and making sure you were not uncomfortable, you noticed the way the protection witch was trying so hard not to make you feel distressed and it also warmed your heart, she even had made sure she was not touching you that much so you would not feel awkward and you smiled, you moved a little to get closer to her, your shoulders touching and Alice smiled widely at you.

“How are you?” The protection witch asked you softly and you pressed your head against her shoulder, Alice felt happy you were comfortable with her to do that, and it made her feel joyful, she really didn't like the way you seem so sad since she saw you at the mall, waiting slowly behind Agatha and the teen.

“I am feeling better, Lilia really knows how to cheer someone up” Lilia chuckled and Alice did the same, resting her head against yours, her hands still on her pockets.

Lilia pressed again her hand on your shoulder and brushed your arm slowly, comforting you, making you feel better. After some minutes had passed, you saw the teenager and Jenn walking slowly next to each other, when they saw you sitting between Alice and Lilia the smiled and started to walk a little bit faster.

The teen quickly came closer to you and took a seat on the ground in front of you, Jenn smiled at you as well and took the spot next to Lilia.

“Smiling fits you” The teen commented feeling happy you didn’t seem to be crying anymore.

“You have a really pretty smile, it makes me want to smile” Jenn said peaking her head to look at you, you seemed content and it made her feel really happy, it was a nice change, seeing you smile that way after only seeing you grimacing, confused or crying made her heart feel warm.

Agatha then appeared again, she was walking as elegant and confident as ever and when she saw you she felt happy, she felt happy seeing you smiling again, and being with the others who seemed to be supporting you made her feel happy for you, she still felt guilty but was not about to comment that, but what Agatha did not like was that you avoided looking at her while she explained they needed to summon another green witch.

 All of you gathered around the spot where the area in which the ground changed colors, everyone had a flower in their hands and started to ask for the traits you wished for the new green witch you have.

You were almost at the end of the queue, Lilia to your right and Alice to your left, when your turn came, Lilia placed her hand in your back letting you know it was your turn to place the flower and wish for the trait.

“Please let the new green witch be kind” 

Alice brushed her arm against you and nodded agreeing with you, Lilia gave another squeeze to your shoulder, while the teen and Jennifer smiled again at your wish.

Agatha was looking at you with a sad smile on her face, and a pang of guilty reached her heart, she had not been kind to you, what made her feel a little bit better, was the fact that the other witches have seemed to take a liking to you, she really hoped nothing happened to any of them because she wouldn´t know how you would react if you lost one of the witches who were kind enough to make sure you were alright, she feared for them and for you, a really strange feeling she was not used to.

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“Why are you so mean if you feel the same way she feels?” Rio who was asking Agatha from behind caressing her hair. Agatha quickly turned herself around to face Rio, how had she noticed? How had she figured it out? She tried to say something, something to prove that Rio was wrong, but she couldn’t, she knew she could not lie to Rio, the brown-eyed woman would notice right away, and she hated that.

Rio chuckled and proceeded to take Agatha’s hands in hers, she knew that Agatha was trying hard to ignore the feelings she had been having for you, the strong and deep love she actually had for you, the immense necessity to take care of you and make sure you were alright, Rio knew that in an attempt to try and bury her own feelings, Agatha had tried to have as much contact with her while all of you kept on walking down the road, Rio knew it very well and it was not fair for you nor her.

“I know why you suddenly want to be near me so much, and it’s not fair for her and neither for me and not even fair for you, you know it” Rio said while caressing the hands of the blue-eyed witch. Agatha started to feel guilty again and couldn’t deny that what Rio was saying was true, the brown-eyed woman knew her so well, but she wanted to make sure that Rio knew her feelings for her were not an act and she genuinely still felt love for her.

“I am not lying about the way I still feel about you” Agatha desperately said, squeezing the other woman’s hands.

Rio chuckled a little looking back at their hands intertwined and sighed deeply.

“I know, I know you still have those same feelings, we share the same feeling, but you know you are not being fair to her, I know you are saying the truth about us, but…”

Rio stopped to take a deep breath again and looked back to Agatha’s face.

“You keep denying what you feel about her and doing that and it is hurting not only her, it is also hurting you” Rio tried to get Agatha to realize how much pain she was inflicting not only to you.

“I also have to say that I don’t like the way you talk to her or treat her, she does not deserve to be treated like that Agatha, she doesn’t deserve to keep being on pain because you are too afraid of your own feelings” Rio commented again, sounding a little harsh, of course she hated seeing you in so much pain, not getting to see that beautiful smile of yours.

“I watched the two of you while you were under Wanda’s spell, you know? You treated her so beautiful, the way she deserved to be treated, I loved seeing when you came late to your house and y/n would wait for you, she always felt sleepy but she would always make sure to stay awake until you arrived, you would hug her and kiss her making her blush so much that she had to hide her face on your chest, you don’t know how happy she was…” Agatha remembered everything, she remembered doing all of that, but because of her fears and insecurities she tried to bury those memories, she was a little but surprised that Rio had watched the two of you, but she always had done something like that without her knowing.

“I really loved the way she has always listened so attentively to you, always listening to everything that you had to tell, I even feel jealous of her just giving all of her love and attention to you, I would love if she looked at me the way she does it when it comes to you” Rio said a little ashamed, feeling too exposed saying how she felt.

Agatha felt surprised listening to Rio’s confession and couldn’t help but feel a little bit jealous for the fact that she wanted you for her as well.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to steal her from you” Rio winked at her playfully.

“I just, would like to keep talking with her and with you, after all this finishes, if you’d like” 

Agatha liked the idea of getting to be with her and you, but now you were not even looking at her, not even meeting her gaze! You have been avoiding her since she had yelled at you.

“But she is not even looking at me anymore! She has finally realized the monster I am” Agatha couldn’t hide anymore how distressed she was feeling, the mere thought of you leaving her was making her heart break into pieces, Agatha threw herself at Rio hugging her and clinging to her clothes, sobbing hard against her chest.

“Since I entered that house in Westview, the one I took over to follow my plan, and she was there waiting for me inside what she thought was our home, she opened the door, and smiled at me with one of the most beautiful smiles I have seen ever, she was smiling at me, she called me love and said that she had made dinner for me, I knew right away she was under Wanda´s mind control, I just never thought Wanda would give me a fake wife you know, not that I minded at all” Agatha said with a soft smile even if the tears were still streaming down her face.

 “I never minded her you know? Yes having her there was nice, I just thought that the way she treated me was because of Wanda´s mind control, because of the role she had been given to play, it was bad, I had started to fall slowly, it started with her usual greetings in the morning, always asking if I had a good sleep, or if I wanted something specific to eat in the morning, always waiting for me whenever I arrived late, so I decided to stop the feeling and release her from the spell, so she would leave the town, and leave me…” The blue-eyed witch was being sincere, something that was so hard to get her to do, so Rio only listened slowly to her while caressing her hair.

“I decided to just wake her up from the mind control so that she would not act like that anymore, my heart and mind could not stand the fact that I was falling for an act, I was falling for the pretty girl in my house, for the amazing and beautiful woman in my home, always attending to what I needed, always making sure I was alright, always trying to cheer me up and say how smart I was, I wanted for all of that to end because I couldn´t stand the idea of that not being real, I was going to let her go, my heart was shattering I was going to lose her, but I was not going to just stay there and fall for that, enjoying and feeling happy because of her while she was in pain as well, so I decided to wake her up one day when she was showing me what Wanda had gifted to her, she was happy, showing me the small glass piece shaped like a bunny, it was shaped like Mr.Scratchy, she was so happy she was saying that she was going to put it on our  nightstand, and I couldn’t take it anymore, I quickly just placed my hand on her temple and then I just waited for the worst”  Agatha recalled the way how she had waited for you to start asking where were you, who was she, and what had you been doing there, but what happened shocked her and she did not know if she had to feel relieved or even more scared.

“But the worst never came, she blinked several times, looked at her surroundings and then at the small piece of glass, then she looked at me with her beautiful eyes, there was no trace of fear nor confusion, she seemed relaxed, and you know what she said to me after that? She said thank you, I wanted to be able to move Agnes, would you let me keep Mr. Scratchy´s twin made out of glass?” Agatha chuckled bitterly, in that moment she realized you still were conscious, you remembered everything but did not seem to be angry nor agitated, you were relaxed, but she was not sure about the way you truly felt so she decided to once again, hide her true feelings.

“I just told her she owed me and she had a debt to pay to me, and you know what? She agreed happily, she said she would help me with whatever I needed that she was really happy there, with me! I thought she was only saying that because maybe she was scared and I thought that she would reveal her true self, her true feelings, that she would start acting different, but none of that happened, she still was there for me, waiting for me at night, making breakfast for the two of us, making sure I was fine, asking about anything, always praising every single thing I did, and even after every mean comment I said to her, she still stayed, I even hurt her once by accident! I threw her against the wall, I never got to say sorry, I did not even stay to check on her, I thought that day she would finally pack her things and leave, but she stayed, she has been staying all this time and I have only treated her like she is not worth anything to me, when she means the world to me, why can´t she just leave, yell or say something to me? I am a monster, even after every bad things I have done to her, she is still here” Agatha started to sob more, recalling every bad thing she had done to you made her think more and more you were not safe with her, Rio took her by her shoulders and made her look into her brown eyes.

“It is never late to say sorry, it is never late to finally let her know how you truly feel, if you want that girl to stay with you, and if you do not want to lose her nor let her go, with only an explanation, a sorry and telling her about your real feelings, she is going to understand everything, you have to stop inflicting pain in her and in you, can´t you see how much she loves you? The way she looks at you with such admiration, and I know, you showed her how you really felt during those three years you were under Wanda´s spell, or am I wrong?” The blue-eyed witch sighed and nodded slowly, there were times in which Agatha would be conscious from time to time,  she would come to her senses and realized that everything was just Wanda´s magic making her believe and act in weird ways, but even during those short times, she still acted the same way towards you, taking advantage that you thought she was under the spell, it was a way in which she felt somehow safe, and she had every memory about those three years, the way you smiled when she hugged you, the way you blushed when she complimented you, for her it had been real, and she loved all the time she got to spend with you, but her pride, insecurities and fears made her act the same awful way towards you when she was released completely, and she hated herself for that.

“I know you think you don´t deserve her, that you don´t deserve her love, but you do, but if you do not let her know the real you and your real feelings, you are risking everything you can have with her, Agatha if you do not talk to her, she is going to leave, and I don´t want to lose her neither, I know you love her the same, but if you do not let her know that, how is she going to know your true feelings? If you keep acting that way towards her you would only keep ruining your life and hers, do you understand that? I know you are scared of something happening to her, but you have to show her you care, you have to show her how much you truly love her, she needs you to reaffirm and confirm all of that” Rio was speaking in a soft way, her soft voice explaining everything to Agatha who always was a mess when it came to feelings, Rio wanted to stop the suffering you and Agatha were passing through.

“Love doesn´t have to make you suffer” Rio said with a smile on her face.

“I saw the two of you during all these three years, and I saw the love you two share, I know it´s easy for you to hide your feelings, but it is hurting you more and her, you may have been under Wanda´s spell, but I know that way was easier for you to show how you truly felt, you should really talk to her and say everything to her just as you did with me, or would you like me to talk to her?” The way Rio was asking the last question made Agatha realized that this other woman also cared for you and she cared for her as well, if she could mend everything with her and you at the same time, she would be more than happy, Agatha was aware she had to be the one to talk to you and explain everything to you, she needed to do that for you, so she shook her head slowly.

“I want to talk to her, and explain everything, but, what if she doesn´t believe me and decides to leave?” Her biggest fear was you abandoning her and she was sure she would not be able to stand it, Rio chuckled slightly, how could Agatha really not see the immense love you had for her?

“She is not going to leave, she only needs to hear what you just told me, and be honest, completely honest, no more lies, no more acts, alright?” Agatha understood and felt a wave of excitement, she wanted to mend things with you, and was grateful for Rio being there to help her, the blue-eyed witch hugged the other woman and sighed deeply.

“No more lies” Agatha repeated against Rio´s chest.

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Agatha tried to get near you to have a proper talk with you, but it seemed like you were ignoring her, it was as if you did not want to talk to her, you were not even looking at her when she spoke or was asked something, the blue-eyed witch felt desperate and every time she tried to get closer to you, you always seemed to get to the other side or get to talk with the teen or with any of the other witches but her, any time that would happen she would turn to look at Rio to lift her hands and point at you to make her see you did not want to talk to her, Rio would always place her hands in the air and slowly move them downwards as a way of reminding Agatha to calm herself down and not push things too much.

Agatha was in a rush to get to talk to you properly, she felt the need to explain everything to you and tell you her true feelings but you were pushing her away, she couldn´t help but feel desperate.

You wanted to give Agatha time to calm herself, because you still thought she was annoyed, so whenever you noticed she was near you, you decided to give her some space, not knowing what she actually wanted to do, Rio  wanted to interfere and get the two of you together so you would have the chance to properly speak, but right where she was about to step up and get the two of you to talk, another house appeared in front of them, and given Alice´s reactions, it was clear the next trial was hers, so all of you entered to the house, getting ready for whatever would come.

Agatha went to talk to you when she noticed the teen and you were around the piano with Alice, the three of you were laughing while Alice told you the different keys of the huge instrument.

“I would have loved to learn how to play piano or any type of instrument when I was a kid, but my parents actually didn’t care about what I liked, I remember I liked to draw with crayons and pencil colors but when I asked them to buy me some coloring books or some pencils they would always tell me it was a waste of money and time, then I just grew up and kind of lost interest in certain things” You said while touching softly the keys just softly enough to feel the cold keys without pressing hard into them to make them sound, you had not seen the way Alice and the teen shared a sad look.

“I can teach you to play when we get out of this” Alice commented while looking at you with a big smile on her face, her heart ache for you.

“That would be awesome isn’t it awesome? You can also come to my place and I can show you everything I have, I’m pretty sure you are going to like my movie collection, remember you told me you loved watching movies” The teen said after he listened to Alice’s offer, he wanted to make sure you knew that after all this finished, and all of you completed everything you still would have friends with you.

Your heart couldn’t be filled with so much more love, it felt nice to be wanted to share things with people you liked, it was nice to be felt included, it was amazing to feel wanted and cared enough for people to invite you to do things with them.

Agatha slowly got closer to you and cleared her throat not to scare you.

“Hey can you-“ She had not even finished her sentence when you quickly turned around and started to walk away.

“Yeah, I will make sure not to get in your way” You said out loud and walked towards the corner of the room leaving Agatha shocked and with her mouth open.

“That’s not what I meant” Agatha said softly looking at Alice and the teen, they didn’t say anything and then Rio appeared behind Agatha brushing her shoulders softly.

“Can you tell y/n that she doesn’t have to actually do anything? I don’t want her to get hurt” Agatha told her not minding if Alice and the teen heard what she was saying, the pair only looked at each other confused.

“Will do, don’t worry, go prepare yourself to show off, she likes your clothes by the way, she was looking at you through the mirror” Rio winked at her and walked off to meet you, her last comment made Agatha smile and took a look at her clothes.

“You know she only wants to make sure you’re safe, right?” You heard Rio talking behind you and you decided to turn yourself around to face her, taking a look at the witches in the middle of the room, Agatha was making sure the microphone was to her level, making you smile slightly.

“Sometimes it doesn’t feel like that” You replied to her looking at the floor, she shook her head and slowly put her hand on your chin, lifting your face to look thoroughly your expression.

“Agatha is a complicated woman, I used to be with her, and she has always been like this, it’s her own way to cope with things, I know it’s not the best way, but if you let her explain herself, everything will make sense, alright?” The woman in front of you sounded sincere, and the way she caressed the skin on your face comforted you in the same way Agatha had made you feel when she was under Wanda’s spell.

You leant into her touch, enjoying the feeling she was providing you; you closed your eyes enjoying the moment.

“You are so beautiful” Rio said in a whisper, you opened your eyes to look at her, feeling your face getting warmer.

“Thank you, you are really beautiful as well” Rio smiled at you making your heart leap.

You could have sworn you have seen her before, but you were not sure where or if it was possible.

“I know you love flowers; it is amazing how you care for the garden you have on Agatha’s garden, making sure they are always watered”

You were surprised, how did she even know that?

“I know it’s weird, but I hope this doesn’t scare you off, but I’ve been looking after you and Agatha, well, maybe a little bit more after you, Agatha has been having you looking after her during these past three years, I wanted to make sure you were also fine, we both know Agatha can take care of herself but is never that bad to make sure she’s fine like you have been doing, right?” Rio took your hand in hers and brought your hand to her lips to press a soft kiss to your knuckles, making you nervous.

“Careful Agatha, she’s stealing your wife” Jenn commented loud enough for her to be the only one to hear, Agatha pursed her lips together and sent you a look.

Rio was talking to you in the corner of the room, she was playing with your hair and you were playfully pushing her hand away, the two of you were laughing and even if the brown-eyed woman and her had already talked about what they wanted, which was the same thing, or the same person in this case, she couldn’t help but feel jealous, you had just met Rio hours ago and there you were touching her playfully?

What made her feel more jealous was when she saw the way Rio gave you one of the flowers hanging around her hair and gave it you, you didn’t think twice to take it in your hands.

“Rio, care to join us? We have to hurry” Agatha called out loud with her hands pointing at the instruments.

Rio winked at you and brushed slowly her hand on your hand.

“We can keep talking later love” The pet-name had made you blush and you only nodded trying to hide your smile while caressing slowly the petals of the flower Rio had given to you.

Rio came towards all of the other witches who already had an instrument in their hands and Agatha quickly took Rio’s shoulder, stopping her from walking past her.

“I told you to only let her know to stay away, not to go and flirt shamelessly with her in front of us” Agatha hissed to her, trying not to yell and Rio couldn’t help but laugh.

“Calm down, we already talked, we have to make her feel safe, that’s what I’m doing” Rio tried to reason with the blue-eyed witch.

“She’s is not only yours” Agatha said again warning the brown-eyed woman.

“Then we better hurry so you can let her know you want her to be yours as well, right?” Rio replied back with her eyes wide opened and a big smile on her face, Agatha only sighed and let her walk towards her instrument.

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It happened so fast that you didn’t even get the chance to cover your face or turned around, but it was too late, the next thing you knew you were being carried and you felt the hot and thick liquid coming out from several parts of your body, and the different cuts all over your face made you feel more pain.

All they had heard was the sound of something about to crack, and after they had the chance to do something the glass in front of you shattered into millions of pieces, everyone out of instinct covered themselves but when Agatha realized you had been the one too close to the glass her heart started to beat faster, turning around quickly she saw you were about to fall to the floor completely unconscious, so she ran as fast as she could catching you in the process.

“Please we need to help her, she’s bleeding so much” Agatha screamed completely terrified, she had tried to protect you and she hadn’t even been able to do that.

Yes, they had passed the trial, but that didn’t make them feel happy nor excited, everyone was completely worried about you but the way Agatha seemed to be so desperate trying to stop the bleeding and the tears falling from her face showed how scared she was.

Agatha was passing her hand through her hair nervously not knowing what to do, she felt useless, completely useless.

“Please we have to do something, she’s not responding!” Agatha yelled completely desperate looking at the other witches.

They placed you on the floor carefully, Agatha quickly started to look for any more wounds and when she saw a big spot of blood that had formed on you abdomen it made her cry harder, she carefully lifted the shirt to see the wound and what she saw made her gasp as well as the other witches who were looking horrified the scene in front of them.

“Let me try something” Jenn quickly made something with the water on the little pools on the floor, and started to say something in Latin, Agatha was trembling with fear, without her powers she was not even able to heal you.

Rio came to stand next to her to take her hand in hers to give her some kind of comfort, the brown-eyed woman was trying really hard not to shed any tears, trying to be strong for Agatha.

The teen had his hands in his head, not wanting to look at the amount of blood coming from you, he was so scared for you and started to walk in circles due to his nervousness.

Jenn came back to your body and kneeled to try and pour the water onto your wound, she carefully removed the big piece of glass stuck in your skin and Agatha couldn’t stand the sight, her eyes were completely red, her hands shaking out of fear.

“There is so much blood! Are you sure that’s going to help?!” Alice suddenly asked not sure if she should get closer or give you space, Lilia had kneeled next to you, caressing your hair and with tears in her eyes.

Agatha hoped that whatever Jen was pouring into your wound would stop the bleeding but even after the water was poured completely on you, the blood didn’t stop from coming out of the wound in your stomach.

“It’s not working! Jen why is not working!?” Agatha yelled scared and confused, she kneeled down as well trying to see if maybe her powers were back, but they had not come back to her.

“Damn it!” The blue-eyed woman didn’t know what to do, she had wanted to apply pressure into your wound but was afraid of making everything worse, she didn’t know what to do for once in her life.

“We have to do something, she’s still bleeding!” The teen came running towards you.

“Agatha, we have to do something if we don’t stop the bleeding she will die!” Everyone felt a pang of fear and pain when they heard the teen saying that.

“No, no she won’t die!”  Agatha took your face into her hands, softly caressing the spots that were free off any wounds.

All of the witches were crying at this point, how could it be possible that out of all of them you had been the one to get hurt?

“Please doll, you can’t die, you can’t leave me, I don’t want you to leave, I love you, we still haven’t talked! I still have to let you know everything, I love you please you can’t leave me” The way Agatha was talking to you and pleading for you not to leave her was a shattering their hearts.

Rio couldn’t stand the sight, you were in fact dying, she removed slowly from Agatha and the blue-eyed witch panicked.

“No, no, no please, don’t take her, it’s not fair! Please I beg you not to take her, please my love you can’t take her” Rio’s heart was breaking into millions of pieces, the way Agatha was suffering, the way she would suffer even more if you died, the way Rio would also suffer from your loss, everyone here would suffer horribly if you died, Rio knew it was not fair, it was not fair that you had to die like that, an innocent, Rio knew she had a job, her job was sacred, but would she be able to break the rules for you and Agatha? She hadn’t got the time to speak properly with you, to show you how she truly cared about you, all these years looking after Agatha and you had made her fall for you as well, the way your smile was so sweet and contagious, the way you would always try to hide your face when you were feeling nervous, she couldn’t bring herself to take you with her and never see you again.

The other witches were completely confused, why was Agatha pleading to her not to take you? They were not understanding until Rio’s face showed for a second her true image making everyone gasp in fear.

“I can’t interfere Agatha, I am the natural order, I should never stop the natural order of things” Rio’s voice was deep, and Agatha’s sobs were becoming louder.

“Why is it always an innocent the one which has to pay for the bad things?” Lilia asked out loud caressing softly your hair making sure not to hurt you more.

Rio slowly pressed her hand on the deep wound on your stomach and when she took her hand off, the blood had stopped coming, the gash on your skin was not there anymore, and your breathing became normal.

“You saved her” Agatha’s eyes were full of tears,  the hot streams of tears still falling down her face, but at the sight of your abdomen with no more blood coming and with no trace of the wound, she finally felt she could breathe, Rio only nodded and quickly wiped the single tear that had fallen down her face.

“I couldn’t bring myself to hurt the two women I love” She whispered. 

“I will make sure nothing ever happens to her, right now we have to make sure she rests for a while, I can take care of the other small wounds that she has all over her face and hands, we have to move her to a place where she can rest” Everyone nodded when Rio finished talking, and Agatha and her made sure to take carefully your body to carry you on their arms.

The teen who has the first to compose himself to make himself useful started to gather as many leaves as he could, he started to take many with him from the ground, Alice who quickly understood what he was doing started to do the same.

“Where are you going to put her?” The teen asked when he came next to Agatha and Rio who had you in their arms.

“Over there, thank you” Rio said calmly, she knew you were safe.

Alice and the teen gathered as many leaves as they could and put them where Rio had pointed at, in a spot where the path had some different flowers and a tall tree in the middle, Alice and the teen made sure the leaves they had collected were enough and made sure if was comfortable enough, Agatha and Rio placed you on there carefully, making sure they would not hurt you more.

After they placed you on the leaves Agatha stood up and quickly took her coat off, placing it over your body and making sure you were covered, Lilia came walking to stand next to the two witches and did the same as Agatha, she carefully took her sweater off and kneeled next to you to place it over your body, making sure the two pieces of clothes that belonged to her and Agatha were covering you fully, Agatha felt very touched seeing how everyone also cared about you, and she reminded herself to thank them for that.

Alice noticed the way your head was placed in a weird way so she took her jacket off and moved closer to you, folding her jacket carefully to shape it like a pillow, but noticed the way the zipper had not been carefully hidden so it would not hurt you, Jenn came next to her.

“Let me try” Jenn stretched her hands out and Alice handed the jacket to her, Jennifer carefully folded in a way the zipper would not hurt your head, and handed it back to Alice, the protection witch carefully kneeled and Rio did the same, the green witch lifted your head slowly and Alice placed her folded jacket under your head, finally your head was not in a strange position and you seemed to be comfortable enough.

“Thank you” Agatha said looking at the witches that stood in front of you.

“Thank you for taking care of her, for making sure she´s alright, I will always be in debt with you” Agatha said again with tears forming in her eyes again.

All of the witches were surprised because this had been the first time, they were seeing Agatha being vulnerable.

“We didn´t do anything” Jenn said while looking at you, she still felt bad for not being able to actually do something to heal you.

“Your potion didn´t work, because she was not supposed to be healed, it was not you, your potion worked perfectly fine, you saved Sharon, but this was something different” Agatha said looking at Jenn straight into her eyes and then the blue eyed-witch turned her head to look at Rio, giving her a smile, Rio smiled back at her, knowing exactly that what Agatha had said was true, the potion´s witch was not able to heal you because you were not supposed to be saved.

“I mean, thank you for being with her, I know you may not have known her that much, but seeing you making sure she was fine and letting her walk next to you when she did not want to be near me, make me feel relieved that at least she had someone looking after her” Agatha said sincerely.

“That girl is a gift, a wonderful young woman who deserves every single good thing, and we are going to be with her until we can and until life allows us to” Lilia said with a soft tone all while looking at Rio, Rio nodded at her softly, as a way of thanking her.

“We will leave you to take care of her, we are sure you have too many things to talk about and talk to her when she wakes up, we will be waiting for you to come back with her, alright?” Lilia commented again and Alice, Jenn and the teen nodded, the Sicilian witch was right, they needed to leave the three of you alone and give you time to talk, Alice and the teen were the first ones to start walking back to the spot where the door had been, the two of them smiled at Rio and Agatha, Jenn was the second to leave, sighing deeply and Lilia stopped next to Agatha to grab her hand in hers.

“Make sure she recovers well, and Agatha please stop making her suffer, I know you are suffering as well, so I hope when she wakes up, you will talk to he properly and I hope you say sorry to her” Lilia was looking straight at the blue-eyed witch and Agatha nodded.

“I will do it, thank you for talking to her, she seemed more relaxed after your talk, so I am really grateful for that” Lillia´s face softened and she patted Agatha´s shoulder, she knew Agatha would do the right thing, so she left to join the rest of the coven where they had left, leaving Agatha and Rio standing next to each other.

Rio took Agatha´s hand in hers and the two of them sat net to you on the ground, the blue-eyed witch took your hand in hers caressing the back of your hand and Rio caressed your forehead softly, healing the wounds you had and making sure they all disappeared.

They were not sure how much time had passed but they felt you started to move slowly and Rio and Agatha quickly went to help you to sit down on the spot you had been placed.

“How are you feeling doll?” Agatha asked you while she quickly went to grab your face with her hands, there was no trace of blood nor any wounds on your beautiful place, and she felt relieved that you seemed to be relaxed and not in pain, seeing you with your eyes opened was the most beautiful thing, she had been so scared to lose you, she would never forget how much she had feared for your life, she would go absolutely mad if she lost you for real.

Your first reaction was to blink several times, were you dreaming? Why did Agatha look so worried? And most important why was she touching your face with so much softness? Rio noticed your confused expression and giggled gently, she came to sit next to you, her shoulder touching yours and one of her hands went to hugged you by your waist, making you feel your face getting warmer.

Agatha couldn´t help herself and quickly leant to pressed a soft and quick kiss to your lips, it had been so out of nowhere and of course you had not expected her to do that, but it made your heart beat so fast, that it made you afraid it was going to get out of your ribcage with the force it was beating.

“You almost died, I almost lost you, we almost lost you darling!” Agatha´s eyes started to fill with tears again, the memory making her body tremble again and of course you worried, you took her hands from your face and brought them to your chest.

“But I am here” You said softly trying to give her some comfort.

Agatha and Rio couldn´t believe how sweet you were, you were trying to comfort the blue-eyed witch even though you had just passed through something as traumatic as almost dying.

Agatha chuckled softly and brought your hands to her lips, giving a kiss to the back of your hands, and placing them close to her face to feel the warmth emanating from your soft hands, she was so happy to know you were fine, to know you were there alive and that she was able to feel you.

“I am so happy that you´re here, and it is because of Rio, she saved you, she was the only one who was able to heal you and made you stay here with us, oh love, there was so much blood, seeing you with your eyes completely closed and not responding almost made my heart stop, I was not able to do anything, I don´t have powers, I was not able to protect you, I was so scared since the moment I heard you were coming with us, I didn´t want that anything happened to you, I tried to protect you and none of it worked, you ended up getting hurt” Agatha was crying, the tears were falling from her face and you quickly wiped the tears of her face, you hugged her and she returned the hug, her arms embraced your waist softly and Rio´s hand started to caress your back up and down.

After some minutes that you were sure Agatha had calmed down a little you separated yourself from her and looked straight into her eyes.

“It´s alright Agatha, I really appreciate that you are being finally honest with me, that you let me see this part of you, that you are letting me see the real you, I love you, and I have loved you since I started to share my life with you playing your “wife”” Agatha felt her face getting warmer and you laughed at her blushing face, Agatha really liked when it was mentioned you were her “wife” she had in mind to actually get you to be her real wife but first she wanted to mend things and pass more time with you before finally popping the question, she also was aware of the fact that Rio would start passing more and more time with you and her, so she wanted to talk properly about that with the brown-eyed witch.

“I love you so much as well, everything I have done, every lie I have told you, every mean action and comment I have done to you has been awful, I will never forgive myself for al the time I have treated you like that, I am so sorry for yelling at you, you didn´t deserve any of that, you deserve to have everything, to be treated like a queen, because that is what you are to me, please I hope you can forgive for what I have done, I don´t want to lose you, I want you to stay with me, because I love you, I know there is no excuse for everything I made you pass through, but I was scared, I was scared of my own feelings, every time I looked at you and the way you always smile, it made me fear and doubt my own feelings, you made me feel what I had not felt in centuries, and I was scared to actually face my true feelings towards you, but please, if you give me a chance I will make it up to you, I will never hurt you again” You were so touched by her words, she was being honest, and the best part was that she returned your feelings, this day could not be better, the woman you had fallen for was saying to you that she also loved you!

You had started to cry and felt another hand caressing you back as well, you gave another soft kiss to Agatha and smiled at her after separating a little from her.

“Thank you, Agatha, you really make me happy, I forgive you for everything I really love you so deeply, and I don´t hold any type of grudges against you, it makes me happy to know you feel the same way I do, so of course I will stay with you, I am not going anywhere” Agatha had a huge smile on her face, her heart was full of love for you, and she would make sure this time she show you how she truly felt about you.

You slowly turned your face to look at Rio and saw the loving expression she had on your face, Agatha patted you softly and pushed you gently to turn yourself around to face Rio.

The brown-eyed witch took your hands in hers and started to caress the palm of your hands, tickling you a little.

“Thank you, Rio, for saving my life, I will always have a debt with you, how can I show you how grateful I am?” You said to her with a soft tone, giving her a big smile and feeling your heart leaping, Rio looked at you without saying anything for a couple of minutes, her right hand with her long black fingernails came to your face to caress your cheek and then she placed her hand on your neck, caressing your skin slowly.

“If you give me as many kisses for as long as I live, you will never own me anything” Rio responded with a flirty tone, her eyes watching your lips for a second.

“Don´t worry about Agatha, we already talked, she is not the only one who will have you all to herself” Rio winked at you and Agatha rolled her eyes playfully, of course she would say something like that.

“You can start paying me now” Rio whispered, her face getting closer to you, you leant into her and pressed your lips on hers, it started as nice gentle kiss and Rio took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, Agatha noticed that and pursed her lips a little, did she really have to do it now that you were having a deep talk with them? Deep down she felt a little bit jealous, she had also wanted to kiss you like that.

“Hey, hey, that´s too much, c´mon ladies” Agatha said out loud and you separated yourself slowly from Rio´s lips, your face completely red, Rio had a satisfied look on her face, the brown-eyed witch looked at Agatha and on purpose licked her lips, making Agatha shook her head.

The blue-eyed witch got closer to you, sitting right behind you, she passed her arms around your waist pulling you closer to her and pressing her chin on your shoulder after giving a soft kiss to your temple, feeling content for having you there with her, Rio took your hands again in hers and gave them a squeeze, she also couldn’t hide how happy she was feeling, after all, she was finally able to touch you and look at you closer, it had been what she had wanted to do during those three years of only watching you from afar.

You were happy, you not only had the woman whom you had fallen in love first hugging you with her strong grip around you, listening to her breathing, you also had an amazing woman in front of you who also took your breath away, her flirty nature made her so confident, apart from the fact that she was as beautiful as Agatha and had a deadly stare, you felt happy, even if you almost died, everything had been worth it, you didn’t feel as if loving her was ruining your life anymore, it was making you feel finally complete, you felt loved and that was what mattered, not only you had two women who cared for you romantically, but you also finally had found your coven even if you were not a witch, they had treated you like if you had been really important to them, and couldn´t wait to see them again to thank them for that.

Agatha knew Rio had been right, love didn’t have to make any one of you suffer, not even her, and was grateful that Rio had made her re-think what she was doing, thanks to her, she was right there, hugging you, feeling you close, and Agatha couldn´t be happier, she knew she would have time to spend it with you and also with Rio of course, nothing would take her happiness away, and she would make sure to protect you for real and always have you close to her.

Rio was happy, more than happy, she wouldn´t let anything happen to you, and of course would make sure Agatha would be fine, she would make sure to have an eye on you, and would make sure that Agatha didn´t repeat the same mistakes, Rio wouldn´t let that anything happen to you, she would still have to explain to you why sometimes she had to disappear from time to time, and would explain to you who she really was, she would make sure not to scare you, she know it was something really important to talk about, but right now, she felt content, caressing your hair and putting flowers to decorate your beautiful hair, many different back flowers were adorning your soft hair, Rio was making sure that they would not fall, she was going to enjoy you as much as she could right now, she would have more time to speak properly to you later, right now, she knew she had to make sure nothing happen to any of you to get you safe and out of this place.

[ceesimz]

Reverie - Part 1

Autistic Reader x Barça Femení - Part 2

Hey, I have some things to say before you start reading. ASD is a very vast spectrum, no two people with it experience the same stuff on a day-to-day basis. This story is written with my knowledge from people I know, and also from my own experiences living with autism too. So don't take this as 'the' perspective, this is a drop in the ocean and this most definitely isn't a handbook on autism. If anyone has any questions or thoughts about this, or ASD in general, you are more than welcome to message me or drop something in my inbox! This is just part one, if you like this first half of the story (because I have no idea how this will go down), let me know if you wanna see the second part, it's ready to go whenever.

Big big thanks to @copper-16 for editing it and leaving such lovely comments on it, I wouldn't have the confidence to post this if it wasn't for your words. Thank you for taking a chance on this story and opening yourself up to learn more, the world needs more people like you and we're all much better off that you're here🫶🏼🫶🏼

This is my favourite thing I've ever written, and I kinda feel like I'm giving away a piece of my heart by posting this (dramatic much), let me know what you think, hope you like it :)

“Are you ready to go in?”

Are you?

Are you ready to walk into a new setting, head held high, and show your teammates you are worth it? 

Or are you going to back out? Reverse right out the parking space, speed off to the airport, and catch a flight to god knows where?

That's simply not a possibility. Even if the thought of walking through those reception doors that stare tauntingly at you from across the car park perturbs you more than anything else, there's no backing out now.

Barcelona, the pride of Catalunya, the dominants of Europe, doesn't accept quitters. And that fact glares at you, along with all of its history and values held in the iconic badge that countless legends had adorned, and with it came a legacy you weren’t sure you had the strength to bare on your back. The new number nine, born and raised in Norway but made into the player you are now in Germany.

Here you were, after five years playing for Frankfurt, where you had grown accustomed to a comfortable routine with familiar faces and the same surroundings for so long, now in a new country that held so many unknowns. For someone with so many disadvantages ever present in their life, living in three different countries is a pretty impressive achievement.

Please, let it all be worth it.

After a few frustrating years in the Frauen-Bundesliga, you had signed for the best team in Europe and, arguably, the rest of the world too. Frankfurt had been a beautiful experience, one that had changed your life, but as a result of many, many long discussions with family and friends and psychologists, you had come to the terrifying realisation that it was time for a new challenge.

Why was that absolutely petrifying? Because you and life changes did not get along. Even after 26 years of living, it just wasn’t meant to be. But, such is life, and chances had to be taken.

You'd always be thankful for Frankfurt. Moving to play there was the first time you took such a huge leap of faith, and it had worked out well, eventually. In your eyes, the first season there was a disaster, but your mother would say it was the proudest year of her life. It had been difficult for her to see at times just how much you struggled at points, sure, but you made it to the light at the end of the tunnel and, by the end of it, you were a completely different person in the most incredible way possible. From then on, you continued to grow.

Yet, that was the thing with the German side. When you joined, they were a club with a legacy most teams would envy, but they never amounted to anything more during your time there. You fell in love with the staff, your teammates, and just about everything else during your time there. The only problem, which was pretty damn big in the grand scheme of things, was that you fell out of love with the football you were playing.

You were able to grow and survive at Frankfurt. You wanted to flourish and thrive at Barcelona.

Except, in comparison to the average human, there were a lot more obstacles ahead that could prevent you from accomplishing that aspiration. Over your life, you had overcome many bumps in the road, some leaving a harsh imprint on your self-worth and others hardly affecting you. For example, talking to the girl you were roomed with at 16 at the Norway Football Team camp had turned out to be one of the best things you could have done. Yet, in the same breath, playing for the national team had left you in a broken state, and as a result, you haven't played for them in a few years. 

The back and forth travel was too much, and opting out of playing for Norway, as much as it broke your heart that you weren’t strong enough to represent your country on the international stage, it allowed you to rest and recuperate so that you were at the top of your game for your club. Did you dream of wearing your country’s crest one day? Yes, all footballers did. But you weren’t in a place to do that, and you’re not sure you ever will be again.

Signing for Barcelona could be life-changing, but it could also be world-shattering in the worst way imaginable. This was a pretty sizable leap of faith, and the only way that faith could form into something incredible is if you made that happen. You, no one else. That thought filled you with both determination and crushing anxiety. This just could not be another failed attempt. There was no way you could come back.

Ultimately, it would have been downright psychopathic to turn down such an amazing offer from Barcelona. Two years playing for a club that's won three of the last four Champion's League finals? A team that had just completed the quadruple for the first time in their history? Yeah, nonsensical.

However, like always, there were a number of doubts that spiralled from those incredible stats. Did they need you? If they had a mostly flawless season, did they really need a 26 year old woman whose mind hardly functioned like every other person? Did they really need someone who couldn't even play for the national team anymore because they were too overwhelmed with their life? Did they need someone who needed their hand held through every life event, big or small? Did they-

“Hey, you ready?” 

That voice had some kind of magic to it. It was like clock-work, this always happened when she was around; that voice in your head consuming you with unwanted thoughts was erased as soon as you tore your eyes away from the doors and looked at the woman beside you. 

Ingrid. The one person that had single-handedly convinced you to come here. To Barcelona, playing in a hot country, with people you don’t know, speaking a language you can’t understand- oh my God, what have you done?!

“I… god, I don’t know.” You breathed out in a whisper, hardly intelligible. 

The world around you honed in on this one moment here, the peak of your career so far. Apart from Ingrid and the doors to the building and what was in store behind them, there was nothing else that could grasp your attention. There could be a blazing fire behind your car, a lion running full speed towards your car door, or a thief in the back seat for all you knew. Nothing else mattered. The two sides of your mind, the devil and angel on your shoulders were battling it out again, as they always were, whilst your hands fidgeted anxiously in your lap.

“You have to go in at some point, snuppa. You can’t stay in the car forever.” Ingrid softly reminded you, moving to take hold of your hand to comfort your stimming. “It will be a really good day, I promise. My years here so far have been the best of my life, everyone is so nice and welcoming. I never thought I could enjoy training as much as I do now. You will be fine, I have no doubts.”

“I’m not sure about that one.” You laughed nervously, eyes back on the building before you, now slightly glazed over and blurred. 

“I am certain about everything I just said.” Ingrid stated definitively, squeezing your hand. “Plus, not everyone in there are complete strangers. You have me, Mapi, you know Caro and you’ve met Jonatan and some other staff members. You know Loren, the team psychologist who you can go see any time you want. We’ll get you past this part of today, and then you have the whole afternoon to do whatever you’d like.”

You nodded at her words, desperately trying to remind yourself of them over and over so that they stick, and you can get through those damn doors. 

“You know how much easier my life would be if I knew how everything was going to play out?” You blurted out a moment later, Ingrid smiling in amusement. “It would be a breeze, Ingrid.”

“It would also make your life very boring, min skatt.”

“For you, it would be. For me, I'd live freely.”

Ingrid just laughed and shook her head, squeezing your hand once more before looking at the time on her watch.

“Come on. We have to do this one way or another, and I'm not letting you go in on your own. You want to make me late to training?” She teased, targeting your weak spot. Evil.

“That's cruel, Ingrid. So cruel.” You rolled your eyes but nevertheless stepped out of the car once you'd turned it off.

You didn't make it far though. Once you had gotten your kit bag from the boot of the car, you closed it and froze. Eyes unmoving from the daunting building in front of you.

“Would you like some company after training? We can stay at home, or go out for food, or do anything you'd like.” Ingrid offered, snapping you out of your anxious trance.

Even after… god, ten years now, you were still sometimes left dumb-founded by how well Ingrid knew you. A lot of the time, you yourself are in the dark about what you need, but your fellow Norwegian just gets it, even when you don't. It's pretty safe to say that your life, your whole career, would look a hell of a lot different if you had never met Ingrid.

If you put her characteristics into a different section when it comes to your favourite things about her, the thing you love most about the defender beside you is how she treats you. Sure, the majority of people treated you with respect and kindness, but the defender's love and care was on a whole other level. Like in this scenario now, when she knows you're too overwhelmed by the situation that confronts you to be able to think clearly. But here she is, giving you clear and thought-out options that off-kilt the tunnel vision you have on this one miniscule event, and now gives you something to look forward to. 

It reminds you that the world won't end if this training session doesn't go how you want it to, that life goes on afterwards. It makes the road clearer, the journey easier, and allows solace to be found in a down-right terrifying moment.

The funny thing is, however, is that your new home is actually Ingrid's home. No, you weren't living with her, but you were indeed staying in her apartment. She basically lived at Mapi's apartment anyway, so the second she caught wind of your transfer, she immediately offered her disregarded apartment up to you. It was a huge item checked off the ‘things that need doing after uprooting your entire settled, content, perfectly routine life’ to-do list, but you couldn't quite relish in the relief yet.

That's because, though it went unsaid, another factor of Ingrid's offer of letting you stay was so that, if all went wrong and you couldn't make a life for yourself in Barcelona, there was no tenancy to rip up and ultimately it would be a lot less hassle than if you had rented an entirely new place. Ingrid's excuse of not changing your name on the tenancy for now was so that you could settle in with as little stress as possible, but you knew the underlying meaning. Basically, it was a giant get out of jail free card.

“I think I would like that a lot, actually. Thanks.” You said to the taller girl next to you, whose arm had come to wrap around your shoulders.

“Perfect! María has some things to do but I'm free all afternoon, so we can figure something out. For now though, we have to train.” 

Taking in a deep breath, you nodded once more.

“That's all it is. Just training.” You told yourself, physically shaking the anxiety off of your chest and marching forwards. You got as far as those damn doors before you froze on the spot again. “Fuck, this is so scary.”

“I know it is.” Ingrid sympathised, rubbing a hand up and down your back. “We've got this though. It's just training, right?” 

“It's just training. And a few introductions. And about a million new people.” You sighed. “Will you stick with me the whole time?”

“Like glue, søster.” Ingrid said firmly, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Let's go.”

And just like that, you did walk into the building with your head held high, disregarding the burdening nerves and replacing them with a deep-rooted determination to prove you are worth it. Maybe your teammates would think otherwise if they knew the secret you were keeping from them, but for now, you would put up a front and act just like them. Your best bet at succeeding here is to fit in, and that's what you'll do. 

Ingrid wasn't impressed with this tactic of yours, not in the slightest. Jonatan and other senior staff members knew about you, Loren the psychologist knew about you, and Mapi knew. Besides that, everyone else was in the dark. There was only so long Ingrid could last before she had to tell someone at least, like Alexia or Irene or Marta, because she wanted the best for you and the best couldn't be given if your needs weren't catered for.

Like now, as she watched your whole face change in a split second as the mask came down so fast that, had she blinked a second later, she would have missed it entirely. The tension to the way you held your shoulders was all the evidence she needed that your whole nervous system was wracked with dread, and though she should expect it by now, it didn't stop the jab of sympathy she felt for you.

Of course she knew how difficult this would be for you, she just had really high hopes. Sometimes, even after all these years, it slipped her mind how much you still struggled with things. You'd gotten a lot better at dealing with various different circumstances and that mere fact could bring tears to her eyes if she thought about how far you had come, but moments like these were a snap back to the reality you still lived.

You lived so beautifully, you were so strong now, that your struggles were hardly visible anymore. Yet, when one knows a person for so long, they come to learn the signs. Ingrid knew you like the back of her hand. It still amazed her how quick you put the mask back up, normally being so care-free and light around her. But here, outside of the room everyone was due to meet in for the morning, a feigned smile on your face and a falsity to your posture signified all that Ingrid needed to know.

Even despite your dawdling in the car park, you and Ingrid were some of the first to arrive at the meeting, only a handful of unfamiliar faces scattered around the room. Jonatan looked up at the door upon your arrival and his face lit up, immediately dropping what he was doing to come and greet you with a beaming smile. He offers a gentle handshake, also being sure to speak in clear English so that your mind wasn’t overloaded more than it already was. All of it was reassuring, especially as he kept you off to the side as the room slowly began to fill up, before guiding you to the last chair on the front row beside Ingrid so that the meeting could start. Thankfully, to your relief, he gave you a short introduction to the rest of the squad, you only briefly turning and giving the room a general wave before allowing Jonatan to move onto more pressing matters.

From then on, you were rushed off your feet with introductions and training, all of which weren’t half as bad as you’d expected. During the short walk from the meeting to the changing room, a few others came along to properly greet you, all whilst Ingrid stayed close to your side. Mapi had also come bounding along after you the second you left the first room, Ingrid wincing at the excitement her girlfriend met you with but instantly that worry was erased as soon as you turned to Mapi with a matching overjoyed smile. 

By the time you actually got onto the pitch, you had spoken to almost all of the team already. And like Ingrid said, they were just as amazing as you had hoped they would be. Every single one, in their own ways, welcomed you to the team and made small talk with you for a few moments before letting whoever next came by to have their own chance at greeting you. But, it wasn’t until you were about to join in with the warm-up that the person you’d been most nervous about meeting came along.

Your new captain, Alexia. The powerhouse of the Barcelona team, the one you had to leave the best impression on.

A few days prior, amidst a conversation in the corner of Ingrid’s favourite cafe, you had sheepishly demanded that she give you a run-down of each and every single member of the team. There had been Ona, who Ingrid described as a lightning fast defender whose jestful clapbacks were even quicker than her sprint bursts on the pitch. Then Cata, the new number one goalkeeper whose cheek was sometimes too much for even the younger members of the team. Jana, a surefire future talent who was often found beside her quieter, more reserved but equally talented counterpart, Bruna. Patri and Pina were much the same, as were Vicky and Salma. Ingrid gave you a short but detailed profile of all of them, leaving the most important for last. Alexia, who initially came across as slightly cold due to the stoic, focused expression she usually wore. But, to her teammates and those closest to her, she was a world class leader, an even better player, and most importantly, a defiantly caring person with a personality that had more sides than a kaleidoscope. 

Upon hearing the exit door slamming shut, you turned your attention to the direction of the sound, only to be met with her. Casually strolling over, squinting in the face of the sun, she came over to you with a… a smile on her face?

“Hola! You must be the novota, nice to meet you.” She beamed, inviting you into a quick, polite hug before standing back. “Happy to be here?”

As always with new people, especially someone like the woman before you, you floundered internally for a moment, so many replies flitting around your mind with so little time to react.

“Y-yeah! Really happy to be here, thank you, Alexia.” You landed on, and judging by her reaction, it was the right thing to say. 

“Good, I am glad to hear that. Sorry I was not here for the meeting, you’ve met everybody already, sí?”

“Yes, Jonatan introduced me in the briefing.” 

“Good. Bueno, let’s get started. I am excited to be working with you.” The Spaniard smiled brightly once more, before gesturing loosely for the pair of you to join the rest of the group.

The rest of the day, as they say, is history.

It honestly went by in a blur, and if Ingrid was at all surprised by the way you literally fell into your bed when you arrived home, not surfacing from the newfound safe haven until about an hour later, she didn’t show it. This was Ingrid after all, and every quirk of yours, new or old, still brought a smile to her face. Ten years later and she couldn’t help but love you more each time she saw you.

—

The first week goes a lot smoother than you could have dreamed of to be honest - it’s only the start of preseason after all. But, there is still plenty of time for cracks to show. It only takes two days for all your progress to tear at the seams.

On the first day of your second week, you’re walking into training on your own for the first time since you joined. Shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Wrong! Big fucking deal actually, because now it’s like walking blind, heading straight for what feels like danger. Unguided, no one by your side, only joined by the weight of an elephant seated right on your heart.

With the help of Ingrid of course, who else, you had established somewhat of a routine that made the transition so much easier. But it wasn’t quite clear until now, just how much easier it had made showing up to training everyday. Because, without your Norwegian counterpart who would be absent from training, you were left to show up all alone, and suddenly everything became ten times harder. 

Ingrid was more than just your friend, she was the one constant in this new life you lived that was always present. Anything you needed, one glance from you in her direction and she’d be with you in an instant. She, as stupid as it may seem, was the foundation of your routine, and now that she wasn’t here, all the hard work you’d made to settle in seemed to crumble under your feet. 

Three weeks of living in Barcelona, one week of training successfully completed, just for you to end up back at square one. And that meant you were trapped in your own body, limbs acting entirely on autopilot as your legs carried you over to those stupid doors that once again stood intimidatingly in front of you. Just like last week, except this time there was no one to coax you out of your shell, no one to mindlessly guide you over to one of the tables in the canteen, no one to walk you out onto the training pitch. You were all alone.

An unfortunate tactic hadn’t left your habits after all these years: avoidance. What better way to deal with something, then to not deal with it all, right? Right? 

Obviously, you couldn’t miss the whole day, you still had commitments and expectations you needed to live up to. If there was one thing that you couldn’t handle (apart from almost everything in this neurotypical world) it was letting people down, disappointing them.

So, if you opted out of breakfast for the day and beelined straight for the changing rooms instead, what business was it to anyone else? You were here, that’s all they could ask for. The plan was to get dressed into your training kit as fast as physically possible, before heading out onto the pitch for some time alone before everyone else came along. 

…Except, just as you were lacing up your boots, hand trembling at an embarrassing intensity as you did so, the door opened prematurely. And, really, out of everyone, did it have to be her?

“Oh. I did not expect anyone to be in here. Bon dia.” Alexia smiled at you, heading to her cubby just a few seats away from yours.

“Bon dia.” You muttered sheepishly, keeping your head down and tying your laces at a wildly uncontrolled speed. If Alexia noticed, she didn’t mention it. Thank god.

“I was just going to get some extra practice in, if you wanted to join me.” She offered, swapping her trainers for her boots since she was already in her training gear.

Great minds think alike..?

“Yeah, I was going to do the same thing. Thanks.”

“Ay, it's nothing. It's great that you're so hard working, you’re already fitting right in.” Sorry, could you say that again, or write it down even? “Ready?”

“What? Oh- sorry, yes, I’m ready.” You gave her a tight-lipped smile before slipping past where she stood in the doorway and heading towards the pitch.

“How are you feeling about your time here so far?” The captain asked kindly, the beating sound of boots clicking against the floor echoing far too long in your ears.

“Um, good. It’s an honour playing for this team, so.” You shrugged, offering an almost robotic, rehearsed answer.

“And what about how you actually feel? Not what you’re supposed to feel?” Alexia inquired lightly, an earnest and sympathetic look across her face. Slightly suspicious.

“Well… still good. It’s just different, isn’t it. Yeah.” You mumbled, cheeks flushing bright red as you crossed your arms tightly over your chest.

“Of course it is different. You were in Germany for five years, right?” You nodded affirmatively. “So it is a big, big change. I haven’t been anywhere else but here for twelve years, I cannot imagine adjusting to anywhere else.”

Oh, Ingrid. Seriously?

“I’m here though, I have to leave Germany behind.” You stated in a flat voice, honestly quite done with this topic but it’d be rude to voice so.

“If that is how you want to think, then do it like that. You have transitioned very well, we are all impressed.” Alexia shrugged with a soft smile, punching in the code for the storage cupboard and opening it soon after. “Grab the footballs, I will get some tiny goals. The others can get the rest when they’re done filling their faces.”

Thank god for that.

Alexia ended that conversation there, directing her focus on training from that moment on, much to your relief. All that you learnt from this day was that you needed to have a conversation with Ingrid. Your sixth sense was strong, even if to others it seemed like Alexia was just being an averagely kind person, you just knew. 

The good thing was, you couldn’t quite call that day a disaster. In the end, you got through it, even squeezing in a few jokes and laughs here and there throughout the day.

It’s the next day that the first incident occurred. It happened like this; Ingrid isn’t in again, you learn she’s got some kind of stomach virus, so you turn up once more on your own. This time, it wasn’t quite so scary, but like yesterday you skipped breakfast again. And just like yesterday, Alexia met you in the changing rooms to do some early practice again. Except, there was one fatal flaw to your routine this day. It came back and bit you in the ass pretty harshly.

“Ale, what are you doing after this?” Mapi wondered from your right as she stood up after Jona had ended training for the day.

“Eh, nothing.” She shrugged, going to ask you the same thing as she reached her hands out to help you up.

For all you knew, the Spanish pair you were sandwiched between could be speaking absolute gibberish, nothing was registering. As soon as you stood up, everything went hazy. And then… your vision had gone, your body felt unbelievably heavy, and had it not been for Alexia’s tight grip, you’d have fallen back there and then.

“Hey!” Alexia called out in concern, feeling you go limp in her hold. “Mapi, she’s fainting!”

“What!?” Mapi cried, immediately falling to her knees as Alexia safely guided you to the floor.

“I don’t know, she just collapsed!” 

Her voice dripped with worry as Mapi frantically looked around, only to find most people had headed inside already. Meanwhile, you were still awake, not totally out cold, but your eyes ached unbearably and you’d lost all control of your movements. Alexia’s hands flitted over your body, looking for any obvious problems but she couldn’t find any. She repeated your name over and over, only receiving somewhat of a whimper in reply.

“Mapi, go find someone, now!” Alexia demanded, the defender instantly rising to her feet and heading for the door. The captain turned back to you, her hands gently coming up to cradle your face where you lay on your side. “Hey, I need you to listen! Can you hear me?”

“Mhm.” You whined, providing the woman before you with an ounce of relief.

“What’s wrong? You need to tell me so we can help you, cariño, you just fainted on us.” She said frantically, her wide eyes boring into yours when you opened them.

Identifying the problem, even in your state, was quite simple. It was a common problem, something you were well versed with, though you rarely ever let it get this bad.

“Forgot to eat.” You mustered up your remaining strength, which really was very little, to answer her and quell her worries.

Thinking back to this moment in probably an hour’s time, you’d laugh at Alexia’s face when you said those three words, because she looked utterly perplexed.

“You forgot to eat?” Alexia repeated with a frown, but she couldn’t dwell on it much longer because Mapi came running over with the medical team hot on her tails.

“Is she awake?” The brunette woman asked desperately, opting out of kneeling back beside you so as to not overcrowd you.

“Yes, and she said she forgot to eat today?” Alexia looked up at her friend, refusing to shift out of the way and instead choosing to stick by your side. 

“Oh, that would explain it.” Mapi sighed in relief, only puzzling Alexia more. Was this… normal for you?

The medics fussed over you, asking you questions and ultimately overwhelming you way too much, something Mapi notices quickly.

“Oye, basta, slow down. Her blood sugar is low, she needs something quickly. Get her an energy gel.” Mapi commanded them, now joining you by your head and smiling her bright smile down at you, combing back some of your hair. “Hola preciosa, we'll get you back feeling better soon.” Just as she said that, a member of the medical staff pulled out one of the energy gels the team used for games. “Can you have this for me? It will make you feel better, I promise.”

With a nod, the people around you helped you to sit up as Mapi tore  open the gel packet, with Alexia still almost frozen in confusion. The defender noticed, grinning in amusement and quickly flicking her ear to bring her back down to earth.

“Ah! What's that for?” Alexia winced, watching on as Mapi shook her head and handed you the gel pack.

Your hand trembled as you raised it to your mouth, hardly possessing the strength to squeeze it enough to get anything out of it, but just as Mapi went to help you, Alexia got there first.

“It’s okay, here.” She does it for you, one hand on the packet and the other on your elbow that shakes under her hold. She seemed to be grounded now, knowing that it isn't the right moment to be wrapped up in her own thoughts when you're here in front of her, needing security and comfort whilst it takes a couple minutes to come back to yourself. “Easy with it. You'll feel better soon.”

And you did, literally no less than two minutes after having the energy gel, your nausea and dizziness and whatnot near enough disappeared. Though, your physical symptoms gave way for a barrage of anxiety, because this situation would consequently lead to an unwanted and challenging (but most likely necessary) conversation with Jonatan and the rest of the staff. They had also seen you, on the floor, near enough passed out, as a result of your own actions. You could only imagine the things they were thinking right now, and that unknown was scarier than the actual situation that had occurred beforehand.

“Feeling good now. Thanks everyone.” You said shyly, rising to your feet and avoiding everyone's gaze.

“You sure?” Alexia checked, giving you a look that tells you that you shouldn't even try to bullshit her.

“Well, a little bit… woozy, I guess. But much better than before, I swear.” You nodded, hating the feeling of everyone’s eyes on you. 

“Let’s go inside, I’ll ask the catering staff to make up some food for you, if you want?” Mapi offered as her hand hovers against your back, not touching but guiding you back inside the main building.

“Okay.” You shrugged.

Meanwhile Alexia trailed behind, trying to figure out how, as captain, she could help this situation. It’s in her best interest to care for her team, and given what she had learnt, it was now clear that there was a lot more she could do than sit back and watch. She didn’t want to come across as overbearing, something Ingrid had warned her about, but she realised it was time to step in.

“Why don’t we go to one of the office rooms rather than the canteen?” She suggested just as Mapi went to open the door heading into said room. The defender should have thought of that sooner, but she’s glad her friend mentioned it, realising it’s most definitely the better option right now for you. 

You were taken to an empty office, followed into the room by Alexia and Mapi and some of the physios, and if they weren’t overcrowding you outside, they definitely were now. In all honesty, as much as you were grateful for their care, you wanted to burrow under your duvet in bed at home and not surface for probably about a week. You wanted to grab a tray of cookies, eat them whilst seated on the edge of your bed so you didn’t get crumbs everywhere, and crawl under the sheets safe in the darkness of the four walls you had struggled to leave the past two days.

But no, you were here, stuck in a reality that in no way felt real at all. What were you doing here? Sat at a round table, surrounded by medical staff chatting between themselves, not really bothered about your blip anymore, whilst two of Spain’s greatest players stand off to the side, both pairs of eyes trained solely on you.

You, a no-name off the back of an unsuccessful run in Germany that had just collapsed after training. Them, Champion’s League winners and well-established in the sport for years already, and decades to come.

“Preciosa?” Mapi appeared beside you suddenly, speaking softly as her hand fell on your shoulder. “Is it okay if I leave now? Ingrid is still sick at home, I promised I would get back to her as fast as I could. If you need me to stay, I can. They won’t keep you here for much longer, they’re just making sure you eat before you get back home.”

She should be with Ingrid, her girlfriend who is much worse off at home. Not with you, who simply made a foolish mistake and was now wasting everyone’s time.

“Go home.” You told her as your own hands squeezed anxiously at your upper arms where they sat crossed on the table.

“Okay.” Mapi smiled pitifully down at you, giving you a light forehead kiss before backing off. She pulled Alexia to the side, giving her a warning glare. “Look after her, for me and for Ingrid. Protect her, too. Don’t let them overwhelm her, she just wants to get home.”

“Sí. Of course.” Alexia replied firmly, a solid look in her eyes that Mapi knew to trust immediately. 

The defender slipped out of the room with no further fuss, leaving you alone with Alexia and the medical staff. Not for long, though.

“Guys, could you give us a moment? And can someone go collect her food from the canteen, please.” 

They nodded and stepped out of the room, Alexia closing the door softly behind them. She turned back to you, watching as you kept your head down and focused on the shapes you traced on the wood of the table. Your shoulders were visibly tense, so uptight they’re basically touching your ears, and she noticed just how intensely your leg was bouncing up and down.

“Do you need anyth-”

“Did Ingrid tell you?” You asked bluntly, gulping back the lump in your throat that really had no place making itself known at this moment - now was not the time for a meltdown. Save it for later, in the safety of your flat.

Alexia blew out a breath, coming over to perch on the edge of the desk a few seats away from you.

“If you’re talking about what I think you are, then… yes. She did tell me.” She answered cautiously, trying to gauge your reaction but you didn’t give her much, just a single nod. “She did it with the best intentions though. It wasn’t to… purposely go behind your back. She just wants the best for you, and the more people that know, the more support you can have here.”

“I guess.” You murmured under your breath, clearing your throat after and moving to rest your chin atop your arms.

“Why… why didn’t you want anybody to know?” The midfielder wondered in a soft tone, trying hard not to scare you off or go over the top. If she wants to help you and understand you, which she desperately does, this is the pathway she has to, albeit reluctantly, go down.

“Wanted people to get to know me, not a label.” You frowned, hastily wiping the tear that slips out with the frustration slowly bubbling inside of you. “Didn’t want to be a problem for anyone. Wanted to fit in.”

Just like that, it all clicked for Alexia.

The feigned smiles, sometimes forced laughter, the troubled look on your face whenever you thought you were alone, all of it adds up. You had repressed parts of you so that things went as smooth sailing as possible, so that people didn’t think any differently of you or immediately feel drawn away like they often did. The biggest part of you, what makes you you, is the one thing you didn’t want people to see, out of nothing but complete and all-consuming fear. And Alexia would be damned if she let you go on like this.

“Can I take a seat next to you?” She said quietly, a hint of a smile on her face when you nodded again. She did exactly that; without making too much noise in the still room, she pulled up the chair next to you and sat down, her eyes raking up and down your face.

“If I told you that I don’t think any differently of you at all, would you believe me?” She began with. 

You just shrugged dismissively, not having moved a single muscle in the past few minutes apart from breathing and blinking. If you don’t move, if you don’t draw attention to yourself, perhaps this whole thing will disappear. A girl can dream.

“Because I don’t, cariño. I really don’t. You are not a problem for any of us at all. You face different struggles than us, but nobody thinks of you as anything less than a great player and an even better person. We are all glad you are here. I and others on the team will face different struggles than you, and I can bet you would never think any differently of us. Am I right?” 

Her words break through the defensive wall you’d put up to protect yourself from anything else around you. A common feature of the start of your meltdowns, except it’s quite possible that your captain had just stopped it from going any further.

Hesitantly, you sat up from your slouched position and wiped tiredly at your face.

“No, I would never.” You told her, slumping back against your chair and fiddling with the drawstring on your shorts.

“Exactly. You don’t need to worry about any of that at all, I promise. You are one of us now. A culer. We will take care of you.” She smiled brightly, you can hear it in her voice. So for the first time since you’d entered the room, you turned to look at her, only to find her eyes were filled with earnesty and kindness. And… perhaps for the first time since you’d arrived in Barcelona, you truly did feel like you belong here. Like you could make a life for yourself here, against all odds.

“Thanks.” You sniffled, feeling the remnants of your outburst fade away, only to leave overwhelming exhaustion in its wake.

“It’s okay. You can come to me anytime for anything. There will always be someone here for you to talk to, and I’ll be the first to fight for you if that’s ever necessary.” Now, you were actually smiling. A genuine one, too.

“I think Ingrid might beat you to it, actually.” You teased her, watching as she grins.

“You’re probably right.” She chuckled, before pausing. You already knew what she was about to say before she opened her mouth. Neurotypicals are just way too predictable. “How did you know Ingrid told me?”

“You can just tell when someone knows. They treat you differently.” Alexia frowned anxiously at that.

“I didn’t… did I treat you differently?” She questioned, along with a poor attempt at disguising the undertones of fear in her voice.

“You haven’t, not really, but… I don’t know, I can just tell instantly. It’s hard to explain. You haven’t treated me differently, but I could tell you knew compared to when you didn’t know. The look on your face too. But thank you for… just everything so far. You have helped a lot, so.” You shrugged. She smiled, a little in relief, but nodded nevertheless.

“You don’t need to thank me. Now, can I ask some more about what happened today? You said you forgot to eat?” 

“Yeah. It’s just because my routine was messed up, that’s all. Yesterday morning I ate before training because Ingrid had baked me some pastries, but today I had none left and then genuinely forgot. It happens sometimes, it’s just part of it.”

“Part of what?”

“Autism.” Duh.

“Oh. I did not know that.” Alexia stated simply. 

“Yeah, well, most people don’t.” You told her. Alexia nodded understandingly, a plan of action already formed in her mind.

“I’m sure you already know this, as an athlete, but it’s important for your safety that this doesn’t happen again. So I have a solution in mind that could help.” You hummed to tell her to continue. “I can ask either the catering staff here, or find a private chef, to start meal prepping for you. We can organise it on the club’s behalf so that you don’t have to pay anything. I will go with you, or for you if you’d like, to Jonatan and help sort it out for you. You can meet with a nutritionist to figure out what food you need and tell them what you do and don’t like, we can sort it all out for you. It wouldn’t be a problem.” 

Oh. You’d never thought about that before. 

“I guess that could work.” You decided after a few moments of consideration. 

That would actually be a really helpful solution. Certainly one less thing to worry about, and it could add a secure layer to your routine. An important one too.

“Would you be okay with that?” Alexia wondered, smiling when you nodded. “Good. Leave it to me, I will get it sorted for you.” 

She paused again, clearly hesitant about something. You raised an eyebrow at her, trying to coax it out of her with a look, but you couldn’t help the amused smile on your face at the sudden, faint blush that landed on her cheeks.

“What is it?” 

“Uh… there is no way to ask this without coming across as… very forward, to say the least.” She started, shaking her head at her own ridiculousness. “May I get your number? For captain’s reasons, of course.”

“Right.” You smirked, watching as she shakes her head, this time at your teasing, and grabs a pen from the stationary pot in the centre of the table. “And what shall I write it on?”

“Well… just use my hand, I guess.” She suggested, offering the back of her hand out for you. You grinned and gently took hold of it, jotting down your number for her. 

“There you go, Capi.” You smiled, clicking the pen and putting it back.

Not long after that, one of the staff members came in with the food Alexia and Mapi had organised for you. So, leaving your captain with a promise that you'll eat it the second you walked through your apartment door, you went home. It was a great meal, and if it'd be the catering staff at Barcelona that would do your meal prep, well, it'd be a great deal.

That night went just like the others; you relaxed for some time to decompress after training, until you eventually started feeling somewhat human again, and arose from bed to do one of any of your hobbies that you felt like doing that night. Reading, watching movies, drawing and painting, listening to music, or any others that pique your interest that night. 

On some occasions, you'll be so mentally exhausted from your day that none of them seem at all appealing, and it takes a lengthy period of time to feel yourself again. An hour, the rest of the evening, or sometimes even the whole week. After especially hard times, it could take weeks. Fortunately you hadn't been through such events in years, but the fear of falling into that hole ever again was always present in the back of your mind.

The thing about having this disorder is that some things never change. Most things never change. You learn to cope, you can heal from past experiences, but in the grand scheme of it all, things never change. Certain events, people, even words can still be triggers. No amount of therapy or coping mechanisms or whatever, can help. You were born this way, and you would die this way. 

You would live a life and still struggle with even the most mundane things. Washing dishes was a no-go, the sensory issues were way too intense for that one. A day without showering first thing in the morning was automatically a write off. Bad performances in matches could still lead to a meltdown on certain days. One wrong look from someone can send you spiralling.

Autism was a blessing and a curse. It made you who you are; you have no idea who you would be without it. Yet, at the same time, it could debilitate you to such extreme degrees that… at night, when you were alone under the disguise of darkness,  you can't help but wonder what you could have done with your life had you not been born with this burden.

And with the day you'd had already, well, the only way you'd learnt to get over these things were to move on from them. That's what you had to do. If you become too concentrated on them, analysed every detail that went wrong, thought about every opinion those who witnessed it could hold, you'd suffer for it more than you needed to.

You couldn't move on if others couldn't move on though.

Unknown: Did you get home safe?

There was most likely only one person it could be, but where's the fun in that?

You: Depends who I'm talking to…

Alexia: It's Alexia??

Too easy.

You: I knew it was you, dumbass. Yes I got home safe, thank you. Food was great too :)

Although, when a few minutes went by after that last text, the doubts came flooding in. Did you take it too far with her? It was a bit ballsy to say that, she's just checking in on you. Captain duties.

Then again, who was it calling you?

“Hello?” You frowned, and this was another instance where you're cursing yourself, because why was your heart racing and cheeks burning at one random phone call?

“Dumbass, huh?” Came a smug voice, and then your heart was racing for another, more light-hearted reason.

“Yeah, sorry about that… apparently I'm a bit of a keyboard warrior.” You blushed sheepishly, relieved beyond belief when the woman down the line laughed.

“Don't worry about it. You're feeling okay now, sí?” 

“Yes, fine. You know, I didn't plan for today to happen. It just did.” You mumbled, still embarrassed by it all.

“I know, no one blames you for it. I just wanted to check in with you.” 

“I'm good, thanks. I've only ever had that happen like once before, I guess training on an empty stomach isn't the greatest idea in the world.” You joked lightly, Alexia humming in agreement.

“How does it happen? You said your routine was messed up, how did that lead to you forgetting?”

“It's a long story.” You sighed, but Alexia doesn't care.

“I have a free evening.” She said simply. This woman.

“Well… every training session so far, Ingrid has met me in the morning at my apartment beforehand so we can travel in together. She normally checks in with me, asks how I'm feeling and if I've eaten and whatnot. But she was ill, which I obviously don't blame her for, by the way. So not having her with me these past two days has terrified me quite a bit. She's basically the thing that holds my whole morning routine together. I guess, because she wasn't there, everything just flew out the window.” You explained, but things still weren't quite adding up in Alexia’s mind.

“So how does that relate to you forgetting to eat? Do you not get hungry?”

“Not like normal people do. One of the things with autism is that… we're not really in tune with our bodies? Like, I don't often get hungry or thirsty, I have to force myself to remember to eat and drink. And when I don't, I only realise I haven't done either of the two when I start feeling ill, like today. But food and drink feel like a chore, which is another reason I forget too. It's different when it comes to football though, being an athlete has taught me to be in tune with my body in terms of injuries, but not for anything else. It's weird.” 

“Wow, I never knew that before. That's interesting.” She commented. She's got a lot to learn.

“I prefer… inconvenient.” You said with a shy smile, glad to hear Alexia chuckle at that.

Unexpectedly, for quite some time after that, the pair of you just… talked. A lot. Like, for an hour. About everything - from what pastries Ingrid baked you, to a few more facts about yourself and your ASD, and everything in between. 

It's unnervingly natural. Fun too, but also a little odd. Is she doing it out of pity, or..?

“I almost forgot the other reason I called you.” She said out of nowhere, the smile on her face audible once again. “We have our pre-season dinner this Friday, the whole team is going. You should come.”

A dinner? At a restaurant? Oh god.

“Oh, I… it sounds good, but I don’t know, I-”

“Hey, why not?” She questioned gently.

“Just, they’re not really my scene.”

In a split second, Alexia attempted to think back on all she knew about anxiety to combine it with the very little information she knew about autism, hoping the two overlapped somewhat. Luckily for her, they do.

“The club rents out the restaurant so it’ll just be the team and a few senior staff members. It shouldn’t be too loud. It’s more like a celebratory dinner before the season starts, so there's no partying or anything like that at all. I really hope you come, but I understand if not. There’s no pressure.”

Damn you, Alexia.

“Okay. Okay, I'll go.”

—

Normal order resumed for the rest of the week; Ingrid recovered from her short 48-hour bug and returned to training like she hadn't even had a day off. Her being back also meant your mind was a hell of a lot more at ease, even if Alexia had offered to see you every morning. 

There was one other thing you were blessed with: obliviousness. Because, during the car ride to training the day after your phone call with the captain, the smirk that Mapi greeted you with in the rearview mirror after you tell her what happened once she headed home, is definitely not confusing at all. Definitely not.

That smirk made a comeback far sooner than you'd like. 

“Say that again?” Mapi asked with a squint to her eyes, forcing down the laughter she so desperately wants to let out.

“Alexia is driving me to the team dinner.” You repeated the sentence you'd just said for her, looking to Ingrid for help. “Ingrid, tell her to behave please.”

“María, come on. Alexia is just doing her a favour, you know she's not a fan of driving.” Ingrid said whilst nudging her girlfriend, though secretly she's hiding some intense excitement levels under her very good poker-face.

“Exactly! Screw you, Mapi.” You sighed dramatically, turning back to the mirror as you put your earrings in.

“So you're sure you don't need us to drive you there?” Mapi asked suspiciously, and there was that stupid smirk again. 

“Ugh, yes! I am making friends, you should be happy!” You groaned, fixing the shorter defender with a dagger-like glare in the reflection.

“More than fr-”

“Okay! Are you ready, snuppa? When is Alexia coming?” Ingrid interjected, discreetly stomping on her girlfriend's foot.

“She's on her way, she'll be here any minute now.” You answered after checking your phone. “You know, I can't rely on you guys forever like you're my parents or something. I love you, but I don't love you that much. And I'm sure you feel the same.”

“No!” Ingrid cried out in a way that's entirely too theatrical. She came over to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “I do love you that much, it's María you need to worry about.”

“I do worry about her sometimes. You should too, Ingrid.” You murmured, Ingrid humming in agreement as you watched her Spanish counterpart… busy herself in your fridge?

“María, out of there! We are literally going for dinner right now!”

“Ingrid, princesa, you need to work on your English- we're not at dinner ‘right now’, that is why I am in the fridge.” 

“Guys! Alexia is here, let's go. I'll see you at the restaurant.” You kissed Ingrid’s cheek and flicked Mapi’s forehead as you ushered them out the door, locking it behind you and making your way down to the ground floor.

Alexia was there, waiting for you whilst leaning against her car, and a smile tugged at her lips the second she saw you. You heard some commotion behind you, most likely Mapi being scolded by Ingrid, but you shut it out as you headed over to the midfielder, fighting back a ridiculously cheesy grin.

She greeted you the same way she did on the first day she met you - enveloping you in a warm hug that really shouldn’t be as comforting as it was. Not a big deal. Regardless, you both clambered into the car and made your way to the restaurant.

Thankfully, the evening went surprisingly well. It was a very low-key evening, just like Alexia said. In fact, you might even go as far as to say you enjoyed it, that’s a welcome revelation. And it seems you weren’t the only one that had discovered something new.

“Can I ask you something?” Alexia said on the drive back to your apartment.

“Sounds like there’s no stopping you.” You replied, smiling when she teasingly rolled her eyes.

“At dinner, when Patri asked why you don’t drink, you said ‘long story short, I don’t like it’ so I was just wondering what you meant by that?” Alexia asked, before almost immediately regretting it. “I mean, you don’t have to answer, it’s your business, but… if there’s anything we should be mindful about, then let me know.”

Who needed alcohol when you had a tendency to lose your inhibitions whenever you got too exhausted?

“No, not really any problems. I don’t have any issues with people drinking around me, I just have a bit of a history with it but it’s nothing big. It’s fine.” You shrugged, trying to keep your eyes open as the streets of Barcelona passed by your window. 

“What… what happened?” Alexia pressed gently.

“Well, when I was about seventeen, I started going through a really hard time. I had just dropped out of school, I’d had some trouble with friends, I was basically struggling quite badly. I started partying and drinking a lot, way more than I should have. Then I began to rely on it too much, just to get me through really basic stuff. It made me feel normal, it got rid of the voice in my head and it made me feel like a functioning person of society because it was what everybody else did. One day I decided it was best that I don’t drink at all, and it’s easier to tell people I don’t like it but actually I’m just scared of drinking because of all it reminds me of. So, I avoid it.” You explained, rather nonchalantly. 

The mental exhaustion was hitting hard that night, it was evident in the way you spoke. There was one explanation; dissociation. Dinners were not your favourite things in the world, they were a challenge to get through even when you were in the best company. Small talk, food, the sound of people eating, the scrapes of cutlery against ceramic, and the attention on some occasions being entirely on you? Yeah, a big no go. Which is why you were so tired, so distant, because your mind was in protection mode to keep you running until you got home.

Talking about your past was difficult, you’d come a long way and it felt counter-intuitive to talk about the bad times when you’d worked so hard to come to a good place. Yet, here you were, baring your soul about a topic you normally kept to yourself. You don’t even feel at least a little bit anxious at the fact you’d just spilled that secret. Alexia takes all the concern you normally feel and keeps it for herself.

“I’m sorry you went through that, cariño. Thank you for telling me.” She smiled sadly over at you, an ache growing in her heart at your defeated demeanour where you sit in her passenger seat. “Are you feeling okay? You don’t seem like yourself.”

“Tired. So tired.” You sighed. Even just talking felt like a chore in that moment. “Wanna get home, s’all.”

“Okay, we’re almost there now.” She said, “I’m proud of you for coming today. I know you weren’t a fan of the idea initially but you came, and everybody was so glad that you did. I am really proud of you, and so are Ingrid and Mapi too.”

The woman to your left surprised you everyday with each act of kindness she was showing. She hardly knew you, she hardly knew of your struggles, but she was adamant to learn and show just how deeply she cared. You were beyond grateful for her and all she’d said and done, even if you couldn’t verbalise that just yet.

All you could do was offer a simple nod, almost entirely mute as a result of how utterly overstimulating the day had been. You had loved it, sure, but sometimes when days like today left you in such a dejected state that you could hardly talk, there were still times if you wondered if fighting for a somewhat normal life was worth it. 

From then on, the rest of the drive home was silent. Alexia dropped you off, made sure you knew to contact her or Ingrid or whoever you felt comfortable speaking to should you need them, and that was that. You got inside, were barely able to get yourself changed, before passing out as soon as you got into bed.

—

A few weeks went by and it was more of the same. After that dinner, the team really clamped down and focused on getting everybody ready for the start of the new season. Training at Barcelona was different to anything you’d ever experienced before; it was intense, but light-hearted. There was competition, but it was healthy, everybody egged each other on even if they wanted to win. Ingrid was right, you had never found training this enjoyable before. You had to put that down to the people though, if it wasn’t for them then you’d never feel as comfortable as you do now. 

There were blips, there were still obstacles, but apart from that time you fell ill after training , there hadn’t really been any meltdown-inducing moments. Just a lot of burn-out and exhaustion, but you were near enough a pro at dealing with that now. 

The environment was… perfect for you. And one factor of that outcome is definitely down to the help of the famous three you had near enough attached yourself to since your arrival.

But the main factor to how well you had settled in was down to you. At some point along the way, not that the exact date mattered or anything (at exactly 12:02 on Monday the 26th of August), you hit a milestone that you had never managed to reach before. 

It was unplanned, but once the initial shock had worn off and the anxiety left, you teared up in the arms of Ingrid at the pride you felt towards yourself. Then Mapi joined in with the hug, and so did Alexia, then… so did the whole team too. 

For the first time, you were honest with your team. For the first time, you told them that you had autism. And for the first time, you weren’t suffocated by that prospect. When they all came together to hug you, it wasn’t just a physical embrace, it was them fully accepting you even with this burden you held and championed every day of your life. Though, with the support of others, it was hard to think of it as a burden. The gravity of a secret this big had weighed you down for years, but… now, your chest had never felt so light.

They supported you when you arrived, but the extremes this Spanish team took didn’t quite register until the week before the first game of the Liga F season. Fortunately for you, the first game of the season was at your new home of football, the Estadi Johan Cruyff. So, to help settle the rising nerves you were feeling as game day got closer, the club had organised a training session for you at the stadium a few days before. The more familiar you were with your surroundings, the less you had to worry about on the day. And, as everybody knew, the only thing you needed to worry about for your debut would be how well you did on the pitch.

What you didn’t know though, was that every member of your team was waiting in the stands for you to walk out. And the second the sound of boots hitting the floor echoed from the tunnel through the empty stadium, Mapi was up on her feet to cheer and encouraged her teammates to do the same. The only person that hesitated was Ingrid, but when she saw the look on your face as your te- your friends outwardly rallied behind you so openly and so freely, she became the loudest one of them all. That was the perfect way to prepare for game day, you really couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to work with everyday.

Were you jittery and wracked with nerves as you waited on the sidelines to be substituted in at the 70 minute mark? Yes, but the second you took your first step on the grass with the crowd’s applause as your welcome, you fixated on the game and everything else was just background noise. 

From a young age, before you had even heard of the word autism, football had very obviously been your special interest, otherwise known as the one random topic out of everything in the world to take over your life. 

You would spend hours in your backyard, kicking a ball against the side of your house, driving your family crazy. The walls of your bedroom were covered, corner to corner, in posters ranging from your favourite players, to clubs from all over the world. Christmases and birthdays as a kid were, to you, all about what from your presents you could add to your collection. Kits, boots, scarves, match-day programmes, magazines, even trading cards. Back at your childhood home in Norway, all these things were stored away in the attic, still items you cherished. 

As you got older and life got a bit more difficult, football became your escape. School was exhausting, people were exhausting, but football was something you could do on your own. No one bothering you, no one expecting anything from you, it was a time you could forget the world and all its misdemeanours, and just relax. And honestly, that’s all you planned for it to be. It was hard to imagine it being anything else than just a hobby.

All it took was one game to change the whole trajectory of your life. A game of girls against boys at your school at the age of only eleven, and the next day your sports teacher had gotten you a trial at the local academy. You passed it with flying colours, and flourished in the sport from there.

…Until one random day when you were fourteen, your mother sat you down for a conversation you never could have expected. But once you'd had time to dwell on her words, everything made sense. 

You had autism spectrum disorder. 

It wasn’t made official until the assessment process was over and you received your diagnosis, but that was the day it felt like your life had been irreversibly changed. Your view of the world changed with one conversation, and it was as if everything you thought you knew was wiped completely. Like you had been thrown into the ocean with no one and nothing around to help. 

All the tantrums, the bad behaviour at home compared to being a model student at school, the fussy eating habits, and the endless list of out-of-the-norm habits you had - it added up to this one, new label. The tantrums became meltdowns, the reasoning behind your behavioural differences were from spending the whole day surrounded by people and masking to fit in which led to you being so overwhelmed and overstimulated, your mind went into overdrive and didn’t know what to do. The fussy eating turned out to be sensory issues, with the textures and tastes of certain foods making you physically ill.

There was so much to learn that some days it felt like too big a challenge to tackle. Then there would be the days where you were up all night, the light of your family laptop kept hidden under the blanket you draped over yourself, as you researched this life-changing disorder until the sun rose.

It’s funny, really, how quickly your life can change with just three words.

For years, you had been defeated by it, succumbing to the assumptions that you could never amount to anything more than the label forced upon you, but look at you now. Providing a world class through ball to the most recent Ballon D’Or recipient to tie off a 3-0 win in the first game of the season.

You had learnt at some point in the last twelve years that the only choice you had was to live with it. Make the most of it. This was your one life, you had to make it work. You were adamant to thrive for the others that couldn’t, for the 1 in 13 women that didn’t believe they were strong enough to fight back, and to prove to the world that this disorder didn't hold you back.

They wouldn’t know that your mind could be your own worst enemy, or the self-deprecating thoughts you could have whilst your face gave away no hints, or that sometimes you didn’t believe in yourself and the anxiety was so intense that you could be stuck in bed for days, even weeks, at a time. All they saw right now was your team, FC Barcelona, rushing over to celebrate you rather than the goal scorer because they knew what it meant to you. The world would only ever see your victories, because they had no business to strike you when you were already down. You were strong, you were worth it, and most importantly, you had done it. You’d made it to the exact point you dreamed of. That’s all that mattered.

Unfortunately, it only takes one bad thing to set you down an unwanted path.

Part 2

[silverfairywings]

— IN THE WAKE OF FLAMES. PT II

eris vanserra x reader

summary: even before you became fae, your favourite season was autumn. it’s a little hard to hide this when your least favourite newly appointed high lord has made it his life’s mission to be the most annoying male in your life.

a/n: this one’s really long sorry!! not proofread and I’ve decided it’s going to be incredibly slow burn… send ur thoughts, and if you want to be in the tag list please send an ask instead as I’m more like to see it :)

You make the mistake of breathing in deeply through your nose as you walk through the meadow of the Spring Court, the crisp air and smell of wildflowers tickling its way into your nostril and forcing a sneeze out of you.

The long stems of grass, wet with morning dew and brushing against your calves are like little needles poking your skin. The itching sensation in your nose caused by the sheer amount of flowers makes your eyes water and all you can think about is the relentless urge to sneeze over and over again.

“I don’t think there’s a single living thing within 50 miles that hasn’t scurried away,” Rhysand says, as if he’s commenting on the weather. You open your mouth to respond, but before you can even form the words on your lips, the thought vanishes as the tickle flares up in your nose again and another sneeze explodes from you. “I think that was sneeze number nineteen and we’ve only been here fifteen minutes.”

“I can’t help it. How does anyone live amongst all of this greenery without wanting to scratch their faces off?” you ask, sniffling pathetically. “And how long before the others arrive? Surely counting my sneezes is below the duties of a High Lord.”

“Most Fae don’t suffer with your affliction. It’s probably something to do with how you were Made,” Azriel adds, not unkindly. He stands slightly further away from you, Rhys and Nesta and if it weren’t for his shadows, you’d have thought he was too preoccupied with keeping watch to listen in. “And it’s sneeze number eighteen actually.”

Nesta narrows her eyes, peering behind Azriel and then sighing in relief. “Thank the Mother,” she mumbles. “Took them long enough. If I had to hear another word about your damned nose…”

You sniff loudly to make a point. You’re about to reply until you spot the two figures in the distance, walking towards the three of you at a deliberately unhurried pace. You first recognise Helion, the morning rays of sun setting his skin aglow as though his powers commanded them to; you wouldn’t be surprised if he was actually doing as much to make a fashionable entrance. The charming grin he shoots your ways is contagious and you can’t help returning it until your focus shifts to the person beside him and you try not to let your face drop.

Even half-shielded from view, the sight of Eris sets your teeth on edge. His tall, lean frame sharply contrasts with the brightness of the meadow, his deep mahogany tunic making him stand out further amongst the flowers. The way he walks with such easy arrogance and moves with an infuriatingly casual stride as though he just belongs there makes your skin prickle with irritation.

Eris’ sharp amber eyes sweep across the group until they land on you for a short moment, a flicker of recognition and something else you don’t care to analyse in his gaze before he turns back to Rhys. The brief looks feels like a challenge and you feel your irritation growing, so you wrench your gaze away from him and focus on Helion instead.

“My, what a pleasant little group we’ve compiled,” the High Lord of Day says, tone pleasant and amused as always. He tilts his head, considering. “Morrigan wasn’t available?”

“She’s with Feyre, Elain and Tarquin,” Rhys responds with a roll of his eyes, but his faint smile tells you he’s pleased to see Helion, rather than annoyed. Nesta looks as though she wants nothing more than to go home, and Azriel looks impassive as always. “They’re covering the border on the East side.”

“Lovely group all the same,” Helion hums, winking at you, teasingly. You shake your head at him, smiling despite yourself. “Shall we?”

Gesturing ahead of you all, Helion starts walking and the rest of you follow, but not before Eris catches your gaze again and raises an eyebrow in question. Your cheeks warm and the smile you had previously given Helion starts to slip, but Eris looks away and walks ahead before you can fully react. The few seconds at a time that you engage in eye contact with the male have you assessing how his expression is sharper than it previously was.

His hair is shorter, you realise. The fiery red strands are no longer draping down his back, instead the ends are no longer than his shoulders, the tips just brushing against his collarbones. The previously long front pieces have been cropped short, his hair no longer looking long enough to tie back in a braid without falling back.

It’s almost as though there’s now nothing to soften the intensity of his gaze every time it passes over you and if that weren’t enough to unsettle you, it’s the realisation that you’re paying more attention to Eris’ hair than to the main reason you’re here in the first place.

Diplomatic relationships had greatly improved between Tamlin and the rest of the High Lords after many years of healing after the war. The Spring Court, while nearly restored to its former glory, had become the target of some recent attacks near the borders. Thus, Tamlin had requested the assistance of the other courts, with the exception of no outside help, ever the paranoid High Lord. Unfortunately, that excludes the security of the soldiers you’ve grown accustomed to, which has you looking over your shoulder every few minutes.

You knew Eris had agreed to help, but you weren’t aware he’d be in such close quarters. Well, as close as he could be with you walking right next to Nesta at the back of the group as she twisted and turned the hem of her dress keep it from getting caught on all the foliage.

“Remind me why we agreed to this,” she mutters under her breath, not quietly enough.

Rhysand throws a look over his shoulder while walking. “Because Tamlin requested our help,” he answers, his tone carefully neutral. “And we have a responsibility to agree to reasonable requests from other High Lords. If not to keep the peace between the Courts, then to ensure whatever’s happening doesn’t become a larger problem for the rest of us.”

“You know Tamlin’s not here, right?” Eris drawls, sardonically. “Meaning we don’t have to act like we actually like him.”

“What, the same way we act like we like you?” you mumble, unable to stop the words from escaping. You wince when Nesta snorts loudly, hiding her laughter in her hand. Even Azriel’s lips quirk up.

Eris finally looks over at you properly this time with a faint smirk, tilting his head. “You wound me, darling,” he says, his voice a silky challenge that you know from experience is daring you to push him further. “But I wouldn’t expect any less from you.”

You force yourself to meet his eyes, physically unable to back down now that he’s spoken. It’s as though he flips a switch of irritation in you every time he talks, yet you never learn your lesson. It’s something to do with the amusement in his gaze, as if he enjoys your quick retorts that really gets under your skin.

“And you’re irritating as always,” you say, sighing as though you’re delivering unfortunate news. You look away, dismissively as you walk a little faster in an attempt to catch up to Nesta, from whom you’ve fallen behind. “But none of us would expect anything less from you.”

Eris continues walking at a leisurely pace, still closer to you than you are to Nesta and the others. Damn these stupid long-stemmed flowers.

A couple of them are particularly overgrown, the pollen seeming to waft right up into your nose and setting you off sneezing again. One particularly violent sneeze sends you stumbling and the world spins for a split second. Before you can hit the ground, a firm hand grips your elbow and pulls you upright, causing your back to bump against a solid chest.

You steady yourself and spin around to come face to face with Eris. His hand lingers on your arm, amber eyes glinting with amusement when you glance down, frowning before you yank it out of his grip. “I don’t need your help.”

“Clearly,” he replies drily, but doesn’t comment any further, taking a step back while keeping his eyes on you. His unwavering gaze makes you freeze, and it’s like he can sense your confusion as his lips quirk up. Bizarrely, he doesn't seem to be making fun of you, instead he just looks as though you’re both engaged in your usual banter and he’s enjoying it.

“Keep up, children,” Helion’s voice from ahead snaps you out of it and you step away, smoothing down your clothes and rushing forward to catch up with the others.

Before you looked away though, you caught Eris’ expression being schooled back into his usual aloof demeanour. It unsettles you, but you push the thought away as Nesta tilts her head at you in questioning. You shake your head slightly and smile reassuringly in answer, but her eyes narrow a little in suspicion.

The further you venture into the forest, the more your head clears, away from the pollen in the meadow, indicating you’re close to the border. The large trees offer you a welcome shade and you take a deep breath.

You’re grateful when you’re unable to sense any oncoming sniffling, but something else starts to tug at the edges of your awareness. It starts off as subtle and you brush it off, but the closer you get to the edges of the forest and nearer to the border, the stronger it becomes.

Rhys calls for a halt when you’ve reached your destination and your feet start to walk you to the walls of magic on their own accord. No one stops you, but they watch warily as you close your eyes, trying to understand what you’re sensing.

It’s took a while to come to terms with the abilities thrust upon you by the Cauldron, the ability to detect and absorb other people’s magic. You felt confident enough to distinguish what you felt from the magic of the people around you and it makes you exhale shakily.

“What is it?” Rhys murmurs, voice sharp but quiet as not to disrupt your concentration. You don’t need to sense anything else though, and so you turn around and shake your head.

“Fae magic,” you answer, slightly underwhelmed. “Just regular, old Fae magic. I don’t think there’s anything sinister here.”

The group all seem to visibly relax slightly, although Azriel’s shadows are still flitting around him like a flock of birds, some venturing out to explore and then returning to whisper at his ears. “Whoever was here has gone now. It’s just us.”

“What does it feel like?” Nesta asks, directing the question to you. She’s referring to the magic, knowing you can usually detect a type of feeling with each strain. “How dangerous?”

“It’s not that it’s dangerous,” you explain, feeling the weight of everyone’s expectant gazes. “It’s more angry than anything. And there’s so many of them, all with slightly different undertones.”

“Ah, how wonderful,” Helion remarks, cheery demeanour never slipping. “A large group of angry Fae with the nerve to attack the borders of a known crazed High Lord. Not dangerous in the slightest.”

You send him a withering stare, with no real heat in it. Rhysand ignores him, glancing back at the rest of you. “We should split up for a while. If something feels off, send out a message and we can regroup. Stay alert.”

You all nod, about to wander off until Helion catches everyone’s attention when he starts to literally glow.

The forest is darker where you all stand and it looks even more concealed further ahead so you aren’t surprised he’s doing as such, but the bright light is nearly blinding.

Eris scowls, the flames swirling around his own hands giving just enough illumination without drawing attention. “Why not just send out a beacon to alert everyone to our exact location?”

Helion frowns, glancing at Rhys who, surprisingly, just shrugs. The High Lord of Day sighs dramatically. “Fine,” he cedes, dimming his light slightly. “Happy, little Lord?”

“Ecstatic,” he deadpans, walking off without another word. The rest of you follow suit, going in opposite directions to inspect the border for signs of anything.

You’ve only been walking around for a few minutes alone, trying to feel unique differences in the magic that lingers around you, still fresh. It’s harder than you thought it would be and you’re so frustrated that you let your guard down.

You don’t hear the snap of the twig, but from the corner of your eye, you catch movement and reach for the dagger by your hip instinctively, spinning round toward the source. You swing the dagger out in front of you in a defensive position, just to see that it’s Eris emerging from behind a tree, his amber eyes glinting with amusement.

“Did I startle you?” he drawls, his tone dropping with feigned innocence.

Scowling, you sheathe your blade. “Do you enjoy sneaking around like that? Or do you just have an unhealthy desire to annoy me?”

Eris raises his eyebrows and his smirk deepens like you’ve just said something extremely entertaining. “Well, it’s a talent really, but what was that about desire? Because, that-”

“Stop,” you sigh, wanting nothing less than to hear out the rest of that sentence. “Just… go away and let me focus on this magic.”

You turn away from him and shut your eyes in concentration, but it doesn’t work as you dont hear him move. Knowing Eris is standing there watching you is doing nothing to help, and you’re about to say so when he speaks first.

“How do you know it’s not just mine or Helion’s magic you’re sensing?” he asks, seemingly serious. You frown at him, thinking he’s joking.

“Well, I have met the two of you before,” you reply, injecting your voice with as much sarcasm as possible. “I know what your magic feels like.”

“And?” Eris tilts his head in question. “What does it feel like?”

“Helion’s magic feels bright, awake and fresh and yours feels…” Inviting, warm, strong. You don’t say anything, because you can’t really explain what you sense in his magic as you still don’t fully understand it. Why you’re drawn to it the same way you would be drawn to jumping into a pile of autumn leaves outside your home as a child. You swallow, looking away. “Different.”

It’s not unusual for you to gravitate to certain magical auras, but it’s only ever been towards close friends, family, some select strangers with whom you had a kind word, for example.

Thankfully, Eris doesn’t push. Annoyingly, however, he changes the subject. “Have you considered my mother’s invite to come and visit Autumn?”

“Shush!” you hiss at him, shooting a glance over your shoulder to see if any of the Inner Circle are nearby. The last thing you need is for them to overhear your conversation. It would lead to an unbearable series of questions, interrogations and endless teasing.

Eris’ chuckle is soft, taunting. “Why so nervous, darling? Afraid your friends will finally put two and two together and realise how you truly feel about their beloved court?”

The mental image of Rhys being disappointed in you makes you feel physically sick. He took you in, gave you a place to be free and opened up his home to you. All for you to go and feel like you don’t even belong? Your chest tightens and you decide you could never do that to him. You glare at Eris and attempt to keep your voice steady. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Liar,” he drops his voice down to a whisper. “Would it really be so bad if your High Lord knew the truth?”

You swallow the rising panic in your body, the fear that he’s going to use your insecurities that only he can sense to his advantage. You close the distance between the two of you and your voice is low and sharp as you speak. “What the hell do you want from me, Eris?”

Eris’ expression falters slightly, like you’ve taken him by surprise for a split second. “What?”

“What could you possibly want from me?” you let out a derisive laugh, throwing your hands up in exasperation. “Do you enjoy holding things over me? Because I can’t think of anything I could give you that you don’t already have. So, if you are blackmailing me for something, then I’d prefer if you just came out with it already.”

The words spill out of you with an intensity that you’ve bottled up since you last argued with Eris, but your anger dims slightly when you realise he’s no longer looking amused. Instead, he stares at you with a blank expression and it’s somehow worse than if he were insulting you.

You realise just how close you had gotten to him only when he steps back slowly, as though wanting to draw your attention to the lack of space, snapping you out of whatever furious trance you were in.

A moment passes before he allows himself to give you a faint smirk, but his jaw is clenched and his eyes flicker with something you can’t figure out. “We should get back to your precious High Lord.”

You open your mouth to say… something. You aren’t even sure what there’s left to say, especially since the whole interaction has left you more unsettled than ever. “I-”

“Keep your guard up, Archeron,” he just says, cutting you off before turning around to walk away without sparing you another glance.

tag list: @lilah-asteria @kitsunetori @abysshaven @nayaniasworld @rcarbo1 @paleidiot @tenshis-cake @bunnyredgirl

[gghostwriter]

Deepest Fear

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spencer wakes from a nightmare and you comfort him Trope: Comfort (can this still be considered fluff) w.c: 0.8k a/n: This idea has been in my list for so long and I just never felt the time to write it until now. My head canon of later Spencer Reid is someone who finds rest unsettling due to horrors so here's my take on that. Not proofread as I didn't want to think of how heavy and realistic this actually is. Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! 💗 masterlist

The digital clock on your bed side table says: September 3, 12:35am. The hustling city in slumber as all its occupants rest and gather energy for the coming hours. Except maybe for one resident, you. 

Nights like this were exceedingly rare—him asleep while you sit on your bedside wide awake. It had always been the opposite. With the terrors that graced his desk day to day bleeding into his dreams, creating nightmares that transform the victims into his loved ones. Some featured the team but most—most if it featured you and Diana at the mercy of an unsub that seemed three steps ahead of him.

It only got worse during his stint in prison with it become in a reality for his mother. Now, his nightmares of her were flashbacks of his time incarcerated, unable to do anything while Diana was held captive. Whatever his expansive mind conjured up to torture him when his eyes close were enough to make him like sleep less and less begrudgingly turning him into an insomniac. 

Sometimes you’d wake up in the middle of the night with him, back up against the headboard, arms tight round you, and eyes trained to every entrance and exit. It was unsettling but you learned to live with it—you’d learn anything just to have him still. That was how much you love him.

He twitched in his sleep, hand on your stomach tightening its grip on your borrowed Caltech shirt as if you were a buoy that could keep him afloat. Your hands found solace in softly caressing his locks of hair that were slowly sticking to his forehead due to sweat. It was a sign you knew all to well—a nightmare had come and hooked it’s long, black claws to his once pitiful slumber.

His hand shot up to yours with a grip so tight that a small whimper left your lips. 

“Spencer,” you whispered. “Spence, it’s me—“ his eyelids still closed shut. “—I’m here. You’re safe—”

His voice hoarse from sleep. “No. No. No. Not her, please—hurt me—take me instead. Please.”

A single tear escaped from his eyes. Spencer was once again losing, begging, pleading to an unsub that is incapable of remorse and relishes in his suffering. You chewed on your lip before leaning down and placing feather like kisses to any part of his beautiful yet strained face you could reach. 

“Come back, Spence,” you breathed out. “It’s me. You’re safe—we’re safe. Come back to me.” 

His hand holding yours slowly losing it’s death grip as his eyelids fluttered to an open. Unfocused doe eyes staring into yours before his wetted lips opened to form a word. No sound came out but you understood.

It was your name. 

It was you he was pleading for in his dreams. 

A tremor passed through, his taught body relaxing onto yours. Spencer was coming to.

“Love?” He called. 

Your pink lips stretched to form a small smile. “Hey, you. Are you alright?”

“I—I don’t—” he slowly sat up, matching your position, leaning against the headrest. “It was Cat Adams. I dreamt she had—” his calloused hand dwarfing yours. “—somehow escaped and got to you. And then, she got me too. When I came to, she had us tied in front of each other and a gun against your head and all I could think of was—” his voice trailed off.

Maeve. 

“—and I just kept thinking, ‘not again, I can’t lose you’ and she kept taunting me about how I break everything I love. No matter how much I begged, she just kept laughing and laughing and I thought ‘I won’t make it without you. I refuse to. She’ll win and I’ll have nothing.’”

You wiped away the tears making its way down his face. The hatred that you felt for Cat Adams was dark and infinite. Yes, Spencer had beaten her twice at the sick, sick games he did not want to play in but during this moments when his guard was down and should be feeling safe in the confines of his own home, you questioned who really won and at what cost. 

You cradled his head to your chest, near the cavity that enclosed your beating organ that he fully branded as his own. “I’m safe, Spence. You hear that?” A pause. “That’s my heart, alive and beating. You’re with me and you’ve kept me safe.”

He inhaled, fingers slipping past the shirt to feel your skin, leaving in its wake goose flesh and butterflies settling on your stomach. “I love you. Stay with me?” 

“Always.”

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[acowardinmordor]

I kinda want a fic where Eddie is straight. Strong Ally, totally safe, but the guy is straight. There's a few months after they successfully take down Vecna that he and Robin and Steve are all besties, living in each others' pockets. During that time, he makes a lot of jokes that Steve is going to make a great housewife someday, makes some comments that aren't quite jokes that he wishes Steve was a girl, and has some very much suppressed thoughts that the only thing stopping them is that Eddie isn't attracted to men.

Near the end of the summer, before Steve is going to follow Robin to Sarah Lawrence, Steve comes out as bi to the whole group, and Eddie, for the first time, unashamedly thinks, damn, if only I wasn't straight. Steve even gets brave a few days before they leave and broaches the topic of Steve having a crush on Eddie. Keeps saying that he's not going to hit on Eddie, but wanted to take the chance, just in case Eddie had ever thought about it.

"Sorry, Steve, I only date girls."

And the awkwardness isn't the only reason the three drift apart, but it doesn't help. They send letters and post cards between Chicago and New York, and try to call at least once a month, but they're all broke, and long distance is expensive. Two years out, and Eddie knows something weird is happening with Steve and Robin, but they don't want to talk about it. They still talk, they're still friends, they'd still die for each other, but there is something they're hiding from him. Three and a half years out, and the bureaucrats finally got their act together. 'Thanks for not telling anybody' checks get sent to everyone in the know. Very large checks.

Robin graduates, and she and Stevie have a comfortable cushion. They don't have to take horrible minimum wage jobs anymore, and some expensive things they've been saving up to do for a while can finally happen.

This is where the fic in my head actually starts.

Eddie hears all about Los Angeles from Robin, but she tells him that Stevie isn't feeling great after the trip, and that Eddie will get a letter soon.

Its four months later, almost exactly four years since the three last saw each other in person when they finally meet again. Robin got a job in Chicago, and Eddie is still there, now a full artist in a tattoo parlor, playing gigs for fun with random friends. Stevie, of course, follows Robin, and Eddie tries hard not to stay upset with the guy for the weirdness and the sometimes silence, and the very obvious distance that Steve put between them recently.

Then they see each other. Meeting up at what has to be the queerest bar in the city, and it takes Eddie way, way too long to put together what's waiting at a booth along the wall. He's an ally, he's heard all the terms and types and nodded along in supportive silence because he doesn't get it, but he's trying.

But there's Robin, sitting on the outside, with a brunette beside her, possibly the most beautiful woman Eddie has ever seen, strong, tall, long wavy chestnut hair, and a spattering of very distinct moles. The little bit of a smile she has when Eddie first comes over melts into something small and scared as Eddie stares in shock. It's Stevie, it has to be, and Robin's exclusive use of what was once only a nickname suddenly makes more sense. He knows he needs to make sure he's using the right name, pronouns, whatever she wants. He's friend of a friend with a couple trans people, and again, he doesn't get it, but he listened, and he cannot fuck this up, because it's Stevie and this must be what they were hiding, but the inside of his brain sounds like an endless loop of mic feedback for a solid sixty seconds.

Sixty seconds is an insanely long time.

Before his brain turns over and he can smile and reach the table, Stevie has shrunk into the corner, and Robin looks ready to launch herself at Eddie's throat in her soulmate's defense.

A whole list of intrusive thoughts hit Eddie all at once while his mouth runs on autopilot, asking the right questions, smiling encouragingly, introducing himself to, yes, Stevie Harrington, and dragging the mood to a happy place by sheer force of will. Stevie starts to uncurl, smiles a little brighter, sits up straight, laughs properly at Eddie's dumb stories about terrible tattoos, and leans closer as the night goes on.

He fixes the weirdness he started in his shock, because there is no way in hell he's not going to keep two of his best friends now that they live in the same city again.

But his head is stuck spiraling around a snarl of horrible, selfish, invasive thoughts. The worst of which: Stevie is now Stevie because Eddie told her that he only liked girls. And he knows thats stupid and isn't why Stevie made this choice, and he hates himself for thinking it, but the thought is still there. That Eddie wanted so badly that she's now Stevie. Another, only slightly less horrible thought, is that the immediate fairytale ending he imagined on first sight - might be ruined because Eddie is still straight, and he's just not sure about, you know, the details.

Eddie did a great job that first night, and they're back to hanging out all the time as soon as the last boxes are unpacked. It is not Stevie's fault that seeing her in a sports bra for the once confirmed that the payouts, the LA trip, and her new shirt size were related. It's not her fault that Eddie can't stop thinking about how hot she is.

It's absolutely not her fault that Eddie starts getting weird around her. He's trying, okay? He's trying so hard. But its weird for him. He likes her. That part he's certain of. Loves her, almost definitely. He thinks she's gorgeous, high confidence on that part too. He has a crush, but he knows, deeper than the rest, that Stevie isn't confident in herself yet. She acts it most of the time, but its under the surface, a thread of fear that she's not girl enough to count.

And Eddie has a crush. And Eddie can't tell her. Because Eddie won't put them in a situation where Stevie's pants come off, and Eddie suddenly can't see her as the woman she is. It would hurt Stevie so bad, and Eddie would never forgive himself.

It's not like he can ask her just how much surgery she got in LA so he can prepare. And honestly, he's not sure it would matter one way or the other. He's terrified that whatever her choice, Eddie will fuck up his reaction. The risk is unsolvable. Robin calls him out on his crush two months later, and since the other choice is even worse, Eddie lies, and says she's wrong. No crush. Nope. Not even a tiny one.

Eddie tries to will himself into becoming bisexual for an entire month, going so far as making out with a very feminine twink at a club - he thought he'd ease his way into this - but he's still decidedly straight. Rubbing against the twink's remarkably small dick wasn't repulsive, but it didn't do anything for him either. Sure, he learns there's all kinds of pleasurable things to try that he didn't know about, but he's still not into anyone but girls.

(I don't know if this is the right resolution bc Ive spun Eddie pretty tight here, but this is getting so long. )

Robin's girlfriend has a party at a gay bar for her birthday. Obviously, Eddie and Stevie are invited, and obviously, just like every other day on this earth, Stevie looks incredible. She has a sparkly dress and tall boots and glitter on her collarbones and Eddie wants to lick her. His lovelorn staring only gets worse as the night goes on. Stevie is dancing, and Eddie is drinking at the bar with a collection of purses and carabiners of keys slung around and clipped to him. It's obvious enough that a gay couple - Nick and Chris - starts teasing him about it, telling him to man up and ask the pretty girl to dance already.

Eddie is too drunk for this, and he for sure has a guilt trip later for it, but he just starts talking. All of his fears and all of his love, and how he can't ever say anything because he's tried, and he's straight anyway, and he loves Stevie too much to hurt her like that. It's an entire miracle that Eddie broke down in front of a decent pair of human beings, and not some assholes. They sweep him off to a quieter corner outside, help him calm down as he smokes, and feed him some fries.

Eddie is still wearing purses like bandoliers, is snotty and red eyed, is on his third cigarette and fourth whiskey, and resisting the need to runaway forever when the older of the couple calls over someone named Angel. A woman who, if Eddie was not hopelessly in love with Stevie, would be the source of an immediate new crush. She's older than he is, thin through the waist, thick thighs, bottle blonde hair in a ponytail, and has a few inches on Eddie with her heels. The primal part of his brain wants to climb her like a tree.

'Hi Chris. Oh, honey, you having a rough night?" Angel has a few words with Chris, then grins like the cat who caught the canary.

'You're gonna be my good karma for the month, cutie. You are attracted to me, no don't try, thats a cute blush but I can still see it behind your hair, you are. You're straight, right? Yeah, that's why you think I'm hot. Hey, Chris? Do you think I'm hot?"

"Not at all, babe. You know I only go for men."

Angel turns back to Eddie and leans close to explain. 'Chris is a bit of a man whore. Loooooves dick. Don't worry, he says it all the time. Favorite thing in the world, and I've heard he's great at sucking dick. Tragically, I never get to find out, because I'm not a guy.' She pushes the word a little. Then she steps even closer so she's pressed against his side.

Arousal sweeps through him because in love with Stevie or not, Angel is hot as hell. 'Wanna go fool around in the bathroom?' she whispers

Eddie is definitely tempted, already nodding, but doesn't get to speak. Angel rolls her hips. He feels -- A new bolt of arousal shoots down his spine. 'this change your mind at all?' Her voice drops two octaves, and Eddie's brain breaks.

Because, as it turns out, no. No, it does not change his mind. He's half hard, he still wants to climb her, and he's not entirely sure how to get her off, but he takes direction well.

'Aww, figure yourself out, already, honey? Or do you want to test run this a bit more before you go for it?' Angel is back to her real voice, a high alto. She has one hand on his chest, and Eddie can hear Nick laughing nearby. 'I won't lie, I know I won't get to keep you, but you look like we could have a real fun time as I teach you. Happy to get you trained up for her'

Eddie shakes his head, an insane mix of bubbly and numb.

'Ohhh, so you're gonna go get your girl?' She's teasing him.

Eddie nods, already moving, vaguely aware of more laughter and jokes about karma and saving lost lambs, but too fixated to listen. He's still carrying all the purses. He's not entirely sure where Stevie is in the bar. He has absolutely no idea what he's going to say when he finds her. Still not sure how to worship her properly. Extremely interested in following directions on the topic.

Eddie is still straight, but luckily, the girl of his dreams is dancing inside, and the rest of the details don't matter in the face of the possibility of finally asking her out.

When he finally chases her down at a high top with a cosmo, she laughs at how he looks, but he's never, ever seen her smile like she does when she agrees to a date with him.

--

This is sort of about a friend as they worked through realizing they weren't attracted to their wife after she transitioned, but that was sad, and this needed to not be. I guess I'm just thinking about the non-fanfic nature of life. Where it takes a guy a long while to figure himself out, because good intentions are separate from shifting how you think. Basically wanted Eddie in a situation where he has to reconcile the difference between gender and anatomy, and rewrite his own definitions of what he is and isn't attracted to. Robin had to go through a similar thing as she became attracted to Steve but only in the abstract. They're too platonic for gender to stop their bond

[space-matt]

The great debate

chris sturniolo x fem reader

summary: finally the big question has been revealed, ass or titts? 

request: yes -> @jcsturniolo11

author’s note: hope you like it, let me know!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺

English is not my first language, if you see grammar and typing mistakes, I apologize in advance! I just ask you not to be rude to me ♡

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺

The living room of the Sturniolo house was buzzing with energy. It was a lazy Sunday, the kind of day when the world seems to slow down, giving everyone the chance to relax and do absolutely nothing. That was exactly the plan for Chris, Matt, and Chris's girlfriend, Y/n, while Nick was out with Madison. The three of them were sprawled across the couches, surrounded by half-empty bags of chips and soda cans, idly flipping through the TV channels while Chris scrolled through his phone.

Chris was sitting on the couch, engrossed in his phone, when he made an observation. "Man, you ever notice people are always either ass or tits people?" His eyes remained fixed on the screen as he chuckled, stealing a glance at Matt, who was lounging on the other end of the couch.

Y/n, perched next to Chris with her legs curled under her, raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? That's what you're thinking about right now?"

Chris, defensive, set his phone down, saying, "Hey, it's a legitimate topic. People have strong opinions about this. I saw these comments on the stream—it's an actual debate."

From his corner, Matt snorted, running a hand through his hair and leaning forward with an amused grin. "Oh God, are we really doing this? The whole 'ass or tits' thing? Classic."

Rolling her eyes, Y/n couldn't help but smile. "Okay, fine," she said, indulging them. "If we're going there, I gotta ask—you guys are brothers. Do you agree on this, or do you have different opinions?"

Chris and Matt shared a knowing glance, the kind of silent brotherly communication that comes after years of understanding each other without words. Then Chris smirked. "Oh, Matt and I definitely have different opinions. But I’m not gonna spoil it for him."

Matt, looking slightly exasperated, leaned back in his chair and gestured dismissively. "You're making a bigger deal out of this than it really is. I just have a preference for the backside. A good—"

"Nope, spare me the details!" Y/n interjected, raising her hand to halt Matt's words, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. "I'm attempting to deduce this based on your personalities, but it feels like an impossible task."

Chris, always the provocateur, playfully nudged Y/n. "Come on, Y/n. You know me better than anyone. Take a guess which one I am."

Y/n tilted her head, squinting at him thoughtfully. She was partly engaging in the banter, but her expression revealed genuine curiosity. "Hmmm. I get the sense that you're attracted to the posterior, but you pretend otherwise to keep people guessing. You know, trying to be 'mysterious.'"

Chris burst into laughter, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Mysterious? When have I ever been mysterious?"

"You're mysterious in a Chris kind of way," she countered, poking him in the side. "You may appear nonchalant, but you always have something up your sleeve."

Matt chuckled. "Yeah, he wishes he had that kind of depth."

"Okay, but seriously, Chris," Y/n persisted, her inquisitiveness getting the best of her. "Which one are you?"

A tense silence filled the room. Chris leaned in, lowering his voice to a whisper as if he were on the verge of disclosing the world's greatest secret. "Y/n... I'm a—"

Matt, displaying no interest in the suspense, interjected with a deadpan expression. "He's a titts guy. Always has been."

Chris feigned offense as his mouth dropped open. "Bro, you just spoiled the big reveal!"

Y/n burst into laughter, her eyes wide with playful shock. "Wait, really? I was so convinced you were going to say ass!"

Matt shrugged. "Nope, it's the classic misdirection. He talks as if he's a ass guy, but nope, he's been on team titts forever."

Y/n crossed her arms and leaned back, still amused but now fully engaged in the conversation. "Well, now I’m intrigued, Matt. What about you?"

Chris flashed a knowing grin, already aware of his brother's response. "Oh, Matt's the obvious one. He's an ass man through and through. No question about it."

Matt didn’t even attempt to deny it. He gave a slight shrug, a laid-back grin spreading across his face. "What can I say? It’s all about balance."

Y/n couldn't help but chuckle, feeling the warmth of the moment as she shook her head at both Chris and Matt. "You guys are truly something else. Is this really what brothers talk about when no one’s around?"

Chris let out a low, rumbling chuckle. "You'd be surprised how intense our discussions can get."

Matt's expression turned unexpectedly solemn as he nodded. "Yeah, like the ongoing debate of socks or no socks in bed. It's a highly contested issue."

Y/n couldn't help but groan, half in exasperation and half in amusement as she buried her face in her hands. "Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into?"

Chris wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "You've just been inducted into the never-ending debate club, Y/n. Welcome to the madness."

She shot him a playful squint, pretending to be unimpressed. "I didn’t sign up for this."

Matt's smirk was undeniable. "Nobody signs up for it. It just sneaks up on you."

Their laughter filled the room, the joy of their easy camaraderie spreading like wildfire. Amid all the lighthearted banter and goofy debates, it was moments like these—where time seemed to stand still—that made everything else in life worthwhile.

As Chris and Matt continued their playful banter about every conceivable topic, Y/n felt a surge of contentment. These brothers were a riot, and she wouldn't trade these moments for anything in the world.

--------------------------------------------------------

Taglist:  @sturniolosreads @mayhem-72 @dracoflaco @lyzsaphrodite @ifilwtmfc @xoxo4chrisss @soimightlikeoldmen69 @inlovewithmattstur @sturniolobendystrawsposts @tillies33ssss @junnniiieee07 @blackhorses-posts

[cxrdycxps]

And They Were Room Mates • Abby Anderson

☢️ Owen and Mel bashing • pwp basically • reader really enjoys giving Abby head • pussy worship babyyyy • swearing • talking about masturbation ☢️

Main Masterlist • Abby Anderson Masterlist

Your bedroom door opened and Abby slammed it shut behind her, stalking forward to collapse on your bed. You pushed your headphones off and put the lid back on your highlighter. “Hi Abby, how are you? Would you like to come into my room, Abby? Make yourself comfortable.”

Abby grabbed your soft pillow and shoved her face into it and screamed. You stared at her in horror when she took a deep breath and screamed again. “Should I call a priest? Do we need an excorcist?”

“You need to stop humping your fucking pillows. I can smell your cunt on this one.” You stared at Abby when she tossed your pillow away and turned over to stare at your ceiling.

“Firstly, it’s my pillow. I’ll do what I want with it. Secondly, how the fuck do you know what any part of me smells like?” You snapped at her, mortified by her comments. “Get the fuck out and scream into your own pillows.”

“Mel is pregnant.” You stared at her, still off balance from her earlier comments. You weren’t sure why her best friend being pregnant was such a scream worthy event. Or why it resulted in her coming in to bully you in your own room. “It’s Owen’s.”

“Oh fuck.” You couldn’t stop yourself. You covered your mouth once the words were out but Abby was already staring at you, nodding her head.

“Yeah. He fucked her on our three day break.” Abby laughed bitterly and you stood from your desk to sit on the edge of the bed, taking one of her large hands in yours to console her. “Well, he fucked her for our three day break. Then decided he missed me.”

“To be fair, Mel’s a whiny bitch. I wouldn’t have chosen her over you either.” You told her honestly and she rolled her eyes at you. “And it may be personal opinion but you are hotter than her.”

You lived with Abby in shared accommodation just off campus. She had lived here with her friend Manny last year but he had graduated so she had posted the listing. You had been desperate to escape on campus accommodation and jumped at the chance to live in an apartment with your own bedroom and bathroom.

Neither of you crossed paths often, usually coming and going at complete opposite times. She woke early to go to the gym, you worked late at a bar down town. You both had classes all day and she spent a lot of time in Owen’s apartment.

You had moments like this. Pockets of overlap where you found time to get to know each other. You had met her friend group in passing, she had met yours. You had met Owen, she had accidentally met one or two of the girls you had hooked up with in the past while they left the next morning.

You had accidentally propositioned her while drunk once. It was a long running joke at this point.

“You only want me for my body.” Abby sighed and you shrugged, laying back beside her so you were both staring at the ceiling. “My best fucking friend.”

“You should probably get a new one of those. I’ll be your best friend. I’m pretty cool.” You assured her, nudging her shoulder with yours. “I can be your best fucking friend, too. You just have to take me up on my offer.”

“What do you- oh. Best fucking friend. I get it. Smart.” She huffed a dry laugh while you giggled at yourself. “They barely ever even talked!”

“Maybe for good reason?” You asked and she turned so she was looking at you. You copied her and your faces were only a couple of inches apart. “Maybe he wanted to dick her down since day one.”

“You’re not helping.” Abby turned back to stare at the ceiling and you shrugged.

“If I’m being honest, I get why you’re mad or whatever. I just think it’s a waste of your energy. Mel has the personality of the contents of the bottom of the sink after the dishes have been done. Owen micromanaged you and you let him. What are you actually loosing?” Abby probably didn’t want you to be honest but you didn’t typically have another session. “The sex didn’t even sound good.”

“Better than your pillow.” Abby quipped back and you laughed.

“My pillow made me cum every time. Can you say the same for Owen?” You asked her and she grunted in answer which made you laugh, the bed shaking with your movements. “What were you actually getting out of the relationship?”

“He was there for me. When my dad died.” Abby told you and you sighed heavily, clasping her hand in yours. “He got me through that.”

“So he’s not a complete waste of space. People outgrow each other, Abs.” You told her quietly. “You outgrew him a long time ago.”

“I’ve been with him since I was fourteen. How do I let go of seven years?” She asked with a sigh and you shrugged. In truth, you had no clue.

“Go out and fuck someone else. Get a new hobby? Maybe egg his house. Or her house. Or just egg something.” Abby laughed wetly. You didn’t look at her, not closely. She needed a moment so you let her have it. “You can borrow my pillow?”

///

“Got someone looking for you out front.” You were stood in the kitchen, attempting to eat quickly while chatting to the grouchy head chef. Joel didn’t really say much but you knew he had a soft spot for you. He had even tried to set you up with his daughter once. He always made sure to set something aside for you to eat.

“Tell ‘em to fuck off.” You snapped and Joel coughed to disguise his laugh. Dina, Joel’s daughter’s current girlfriend, threw her hands up.

“Do I look like a fucking messenger girl? Get back out on the bar anyway, Jesse is drowning out there.” Jesse, Dina’s ex boyfriend, worked the bar with you most nights. He was a shit bartended though and you ended up doing double the work.

“You ever think about how incestuous this restaurant staff is?” You asked Joel, shoving the last few fries into your mouth. Tess, the line cook, laughed at you and you narrowed your eyes at her. “I know you two have been fucking in the store room.”

Joel barked your name when Tess ducked her head and you skipped out of the kitchen, returning to the bar to find it was three deep. You sighed, tying your apron and pasting on a smile.

“You should fucking quit.” You elbowed Jesse who only shrugged at you, pouring drinks. You waved at people to start shouting orders at you, checking ID along with starting tabs.

By the time the rush had moved off you found your caller sitting at the end of the bar. Abby was nursing a beer, two shots of tequila next to her with all the fixings.

“What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?” You asked her with a grin. She looked up from her phone and blinked at you before gesturing to the shots. “For me?”

“It’s sad doing them alone and I need some courage.” She told you honestly and you tilted your head. “Time to get back out there, right?”

It had been two months since she came to your room to scream and you had been worried about how well she was handling everything. This was a good sign.

You licked the back of your hand and sprinkled the salt over the wet patch. Abby copied you and you held up your shot to her. “To you getting your pussy ate.”

She didn’t repeat the cheers, rolling her eyes. She did drink though and you took that as a good sign while sucking on the wedge of lime. You looked up when your name was called and found Maria, the manager on tonight, glaring at you. “She bought it for me. It’s good customer service, Maria.”

“Get back to work.” You gestured around to remind her that you were in fact behind the bar, no current customers in sight. She narrowed her eyes at you and moved off to complain about you to the servers. Dina would agree cause she didn’t like that you had fucked Ellie, Joel’s daughter, before she had. She also was Maria’s favorite because she was Ellie’s aunt.

The whole system made your head hurt and you swigged from Abby’s beer to chase the flavor of the tequila on your tongue. “Don’t fucking backwash.”

“Come on, Abby. Admit it, you wanna swap bodily fluids with me.” You leaned forward on the bar and her eyes dipped to look down your blouse. You always left it one button too low to increase tips. “Abby Anderson, are you looking at my tits?”

“You know I am. Hard not to when they’re as good as in my face.” Abby sighed and you grinned, delighted with her honesty. “Don’t worry, I’ll tip well.”

“You know what, Anderson?” You asked her. You looked up when a customer shouted an order at you and you took the lid off the beer sliding it over to him. “If you strike out tonight, I’ll eat your pussy myself.”

You left Abby to consider your words when the next wave began and you dove into the fray to serve them. When you looked back she was gone, a signed receipt and a tip tucked under her beer mat. You laughed and cleared her bottle and pocketed the tip.

///

When you got back to the apartment you were surprised to find Abby still up, sitting on the sofa. With the television playing. You kicked off your shoes and swung by the kitchen, grabbing yourself and her a beer.

“You cleared out early.” You remarked, tossing yourself down next to her on the cushions. You held both beers out and scrunched your eyes shut when she opened them with her teeth. “Strike out?”

“Got a better offer.” She answered and you let your head fall to the side so you could look at her. “Why would I hang around when you already made me a promise?”

“What promise was that, Abby?” You asked her with a sly smile. Abby rarely swore unless she was really worked up and you wanted to set her on edge.

“You know what you promised.” Abby huffed, cheeks pink. You stared at her and brought your bottle up to your lips, taking a long drink. You didn’t speak and she began to fidget. “If you weren’t serious then-”

“Abby, I’ve wanted a taste of you since like thirty seconds after signing the lease.” You laughed and she turned a darker red in her cheeks. The color was creeping down towards her neck. “I’ve literally dreamed about having your thighs either side of my head.”

“You’re such a fucking-” Abby shook her head but you only grinned at her frustration. She hadn’t been with women before, you knew that much. She had realized she was interested in them when she started college but she had loved Owen.

You rolled your eyes and handed her your bottle. You stretched your arms up in the air and shook off the exhaustion of your late shift before standing and moving kneel between Abby’s spread legs. “Time to let me see what’s under these cargos and by the way, if it looks like I’m suffocating? Leave me there. Death by your pussy is such a good way to go.”

Abby was laughing now, too used to your humor to be embarrassed anymore. You helped unbutton her trousers and pull them down. You paused and swallowed, wondering why the simple boxers under her cargos made your own pussy pulse in arousal. Why did her thick thighs look so much hotter than any other woman you had ever been with?

“Later, once you recover from the orgasm I’m about to give you, I’m riding your thigh. I don’t even care if this is a one time thing. I need to experience that.” You babbled, pulling on the hem of her boxer shorts and finally exposing her to you.

“Oh fuck.” You breathed, closing your eyes for a moment. Abby Anderson ticked all your boxes but right now it was like she had read every deep thought you’d ever had. You were the first to advocate for people grooming themselves however they deemed fit but the patch of coarse curls that you had just uncovered made you groan.

Abby had a fat cunt, something you could bury your face in. You spread her thighs with your palms and leaned forward, licking up her slit to find her clit. It was swollen with arousal but when you pulled back you could see the raw abuse on it. “You’ve been playing with yourself.”

Abby groaned, her head back against the couch. Some of her embarrassment was returning as she arched her hips upwards to you. “Tell me you were playing with your clit while thinking of me.”

“Obviously,” Abby grunted and you rewarded her with a firm suck to the sensitive bundle of nerve endings. She moaned and you were proud to note you’d never heard that noise coming from her room when her and Owen had fucked. Quiet as they had tried to be. “Had to take the edge off after watching you in the bar. You’re so fucking competent, bouncing around with your tits out.”

You didn’t speak, choosing instead to spit against her clit and listened to her moans to let you know what she enjoyed. You pulled her thighs and she shuffled out to the edge of the sofa, her fingers grasping at your hair.

It was when you were licking into her, your nose against her clit, that the door opened. The pair of you froze, directly in the sight line of Owen who stood at the door. “Abby, what the fuck?”

It seemed like a private conversation so you looked away, nudging your nose against her clit again. She moaned, her head back against the sofa. “Leave the key.”

You hummed against her hole and her fingers tightened against you. Owen tossed the keys on the entry way table and retreated. You pulled away to call out to him. “If you wait a minute or so you can hear what it sounds like when Abby actually cums.” He slammed the door and Abby’s hoarse laugh was cut off when you returned your attention to her clit.

You used your tongue to push back the clitoral hood and pay special attention to the most sensitive part of her. The almost red skin contracted when you licked at it firmly and Abby lost all pretenses, an actual scream falling from her mouth when she came.

You kind of hoped he was still listening.

[manicpixiefelix]

head, heart, hand. {Oliver/Reader/Felix}

It had been a long time since your world has revolved around anyone but Felix Catton. He was like that; undeniably, unassumingly magnetic. You'd watched countless fawning, fairweather friends drawn into his orbit, only to be cast out when he eventually got bored of them, but not you, never you. Maybe you were a toy in the beginning, the thing they'd all called you when they were feeling especially petty, but it became clear that Felix has wanted to keep you around.

You weren't a toy, you weren't family, you were a sharp and beautiful tool, too good, too useful to be put down. Your loyalty was rewarded with a life in his shape. Felix was like the sun, and you lived your life enjoying his warmth, and wanting to keep him shining.

And there's something about the way Oliver Quick thinks and talks that you almost recognise. The others call him a toy but the look in his eyes says he's capable of so much more than that. Oliver Quick is not one to be tossed aside either, and you'll do all you can to make Felix see that too.

The three of you; head, heart, hand.

Oliver thinks. Felix feels. You do.

Need to Know: established fwb!Felix/reader, there will be smut, Oliver is a weird obsessive perv and reader recognises and is pretty into it, obviously manipulation, AU with a happy poly ending

[ IN PROGRESS ]

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

Part Nine

Part Ten

Part Eleven

Part Twelve

Part Thirteen

Part Fourteen

Part Fifteen

Part Sixteen

Part Seventeen

Part Eighteen

Part Nineteen

Part Twenty

Part Twenty-One

Part Twenty-Two

Part Twenty-Three

Part Twenty-Four

Part Twenty-Five

Part Twenty-Six

Part Twenty-Seven

Part Twenty-Eight

Part Twenty-Nine

Part Thirty

Part Thirty-One

Part Thirty-Two

Part Thirty-Three

Part Thirty-Four

Part Thirty-Five

Part Thirty-Six

Part Thirty-Seven

Part Thirty-Eight

Coda

[ PLUS + ]

a long way down to the bottom of the river - SALTBURN CANON ENDING AU (angst / one-shot)

never wanted anything from you (except everything you had) - SALTBURN CANON ENDING AU 2 (Oliver/Reader / fluff / one-shot)

seen and not heard - Felix & Reader's First Meeting (fluff / one-shot)

all this, and love too (will ruin us) - Reader Murders Oliver For Trying To Kill Felix (Felix/Reader / angst / one-shot)

he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way) // epilogue - Reader Dies At The Maze Instead Of Felix (Felix/Oliver / heavy angst / two-shot)

alone with you - Felix Won't Believe The Reader's Dead (Felix/Reader / heavy angst / one-shot)

and other things that happened by the red staircase - Felix Fingers His Cousin (humour / one-shot)

at the other end of the leash - Felix Beats The Shit Out Of Someone For Trying To Assault The Reader (hurt/comfort / one-shot)

they stare at me (and i stare at you) - CEO!Reader AU With Enemies-To-Lovers (Felix/Reader / miniseries)

love the hand that feeds you - puppy play smut (Felix/Reader/Oliver / post head, heart, hand canon / one-shot)

Ask Box Vignettes;

Reader's Family History of Wealth

Felix/Reader - Joking About The Future

Felix/Reader - Sick Day

Felix/Reader/Oliver - Attending Colin & Araminta's Wedding (Crazy Rich Asians Crossover)

AU Tags;

Vampire AU

Fae AU (ft. Demifae!Oliver)

Crazy Rich Asians Crossover

Oliver & Reader Siblings AU

CEO!Reader AU

Felix Catton's Adventures in Employment

THE TAGLIST IS ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

----

Unrelated Fics & Headcanons;

baby, put your back into it - {Farleigh/Reader/Oliver} - (pwp / two-shot)

Euphoria AU - (12 Years Post Saltburn Canon / dot point headcanons)

you're not the main character - {One-Sided India/Reader} - (drabble)

----

Other Tags;

#manic-writer; all fics

#it-shouts-back; all asks

#manicpixieart; my posts

[sweetbans29]

You're Mine - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: Caitlin's jealousy grows when your attention isn't on her (based on THIS request)

Warnings: mildly suggestive

Word Count: 2.1k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: Okay but a jealous CC is something else...

It all started when they were moving into their apartment in Indianapolis.

Caitlin would not typically call herself a jealous person. She was confident enough in herself that jealousy was never a dominate feeling. That comes with being the best on the court. When the two of you started dating, it was the classic trope of her falling first but you falling harder. It was something the two of you would joke about often and even though you are pinned as the one that has fallen harder, you know Caitlin is right there with you.

The two of you met sophomore year of college. You studied to be an athletic trainer and got placed to work with the men's basketball team at Iowa. Due to the both the men's and women's teams playing in the same season there was a lot of overlap with athletes in the trainers nook. That is how you met Caitlin, she would typically be the first one in and one of the last ones to leave. You being you, would be the last one out. Cait would use that to her advantage and would often strike up a conversation as the two of you were finishing up your time there. One thing led to another and after declining a date with her three times, you finally said yes.

Over the course of college, the two of you build a relationship that has you moving to Indiana with Caitlin and her younger brother.

It's the three of you with Cait and Colin's parents as you guys move in. Once everything is in the apartment, everyone is quick to set up the apartment. You are the one directing while everyone is doing the physical movement.

The living room is set when you ask Mr. and Mrs. Clark to unpack the kitchen boxes which really only leaves both bedrooms.

Colin comes up to you with a shy smile and you know what he is about to ask. You have a major soft spot for the youngest sibling.

"Will you help me with my room?" Colin asks. You smile and nod at him the same time Caitlin waves you over to set up your room. Colin heads to his room and you turn to Cait.

"Let me help Colin then I will come in and help, I trust you," you say trusting her to start the set up. You give her a quick peck and head into Colin's room.

Caitlin stands there a little disappointed as she looks at what will be your shared room. She doesn't know where to start, you have the better eye for this stuff. It didn't help that she had pictured the two of you setting up the room together for the past few weeks. It's the first time you are living together and Cait really wanted to share in this moment with you.

Caitlin starts moving stuff around and quickly gets frustrated as she doesn't know what the best set up would be. She throws in the towel and heads into Colin's room to find you and him laughing over some old photo he has of him trying to keep up with Caitlin and Blake.

Caitlin frowns when she finds the room is set up and the two of you are sitting on the floor.

"Oh Cait! This is pure gold!" You say looking at the photos. "You were adorable."

"Were? Aren't I adorable now?" She asks, the comment hitting deeper that she would like to admit.

"Well you are grown now," you say as if it was obvious.

Caitlin doesn't hide her disappointment well.

"Are you guys almost done here?" Caitlin asks. "We need to unpack our room."

"I'll be there in a little," you say, eyes still on the pictures in Colin's hands.

Caitlin doesn't like the feelings that arise in her as she walks back. She swallows them down thinking it is because she is tired and it has been a long day of driving and unpacking. When you finally make your way into your shared room Caitlin feels herself relax. You come in and do exactly what Caitlin needs, telling her where to place things and helping her move the bed. Once everything is where you want it, the two of you fall on your bed.

Cait curls herself around you like a sloth, a common occurrence when the she was missing you or on the sleepy side. You chuckle at your girl.

"Sleepy babe?" You ask. She rubs her face into you, one of your favorite things she does. She only speaks after she is content with her little face rubs.

"Missed you," she says with a sigh which causes you to chuckle.

"We have been together all day," you say as your fingers find her neck, starting to massage her.

She doesn't say anything because it sounds silly in her mind. You are right, the two of you had been together all day, only parting when you helped Colin with his room.

"Why don't you and I do some exploring tomorrow?" You ask. Caitlin smiles and nods rapidly.

"Just you and I?" She asks.

"Just you and I," you say.

The next time Caitlin feels that unknown feeling arise is when she comes home from a particularly hard day at practice. She walks into the apartment in hopes of pulling you into your room for her to be held.

When she enters the apartment it's empty. She calls your name, in hopes that you would magically appear. After no response she sees a note on the kitchen counter that read 'Colin and I went out, we will be back soon. Love you'.

Cait sighs and decides to lay down. She hates the feeling of an empty bed and would much rather have you there with her. She shifts all of your pillows, not caring about keeping the bed made, trying to makeshift something that resembles you. When she fails, Cait gets up and decides to put on a pair of your sweatpants and sweatshirt then climbs back into bed.

When you get home, you see remnants of Caitlin leading up to your bedroom. Her shoes by the door, training bag on the floor next to the kitchen counter with her jacket hanging over the couch.

You smile at her trail and make your way into your room. You peak in to see Caitlin laying in bed, wearing your clothes, and scrolling through her phone. Caitlin doesn't see you enter and jumps a little when she feels the bed dip. Her eyes shoot up to find you crawling in next to her.

She doesn't go directly to you even though that is what she desperately wants. It is also what you expect her to do. You give her a questioning look and throw the pillows off the bed.

Caitlin stays put.

"No cuddles?" You say softly, seeing the tiredness in her eyes. You see the conflict in her eyes as she hesitates but slowly makes her way to her sloth position.

Once Cait is next to you, her body releases the tension she didn't realize she had been holding.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You ask and Caitlin shakes her head no. The only thing she wants right now is to lay there and listen to your heartbeat.

"Okay love, you know I am here if you want to," you say kissing the top of her head.

It isn't until the third time that Caitlin can name what she is feeling as jealousy.

She is sitting next to you on the couch while you and Colin are knee deep in a movie, pausing it every now and again to discuss what was happing and offering opinions. You went from being curled up in Caitlin's side to a foot a space between of the two of you. Caitlin sat there itching and that is when she feels her jealousy reach a peak.

You are in an intense conversation with Colin when Caitlin shoots up from the couch and heads into your room, shutting the door a little harder than she had intended to.

Caitlin is frustrated.

She is frustrated with Colin for taking your time when Caitlin wants it. It is a first for her to have to share you with anyone else, let alone her brother. Whenever Cait wanted to spend time with you, you were already doing something with Colin.

She is frustrated with you, only slightly, but still frustrated at the fact that you are not choosing her.

But Caitlin is mostly frustrated with herself. At no point during your Iowa days was she jealous and she has seen you a lot less due to her schedule. Now she sees you daily and nightly and she hates the feeling that she gets when she sees you bonding with Colin. Caitlin knows there is absolutely no threat in Colin. If anything, she should be thrilled that the two of you are getting along so well.

Caitlin sits on the edge of the bed and puts her head in her hands. She hates this.

She hears the door creak and knows you have entered. She feels you come and stand in front of her.

Caitlin's hands find your waist as her head is now on your stomach. Your hands come to her shoulders. You both don't move, only breathing with one another.

"Talk to me, Caity," you say breaking the silence. Cait lets out a sigh. She hates this.

"It's stupid," Caitlin says as she looks up at you.

"It's not stupid if it has you feeling like this," you say as your hands come to her neck. Your thumbs soothe over her face.

"The transition has been hard, I am not adapting to the league like I want to," she says and you both know that although that is true, it is not what has Caitlin feeling this way.

You look into her eyes and it is as if you can see her walls fall.

"I don't know what it is but seeing you with Colin has been making me feel like you are choosing him over me which I know is dumb but I can't help it. Whenever I want to spend time with you, you are with him and I get this feeling and it just burns inside of me," Caitlin says and you can see her frustration.

You can't help but let a smile creep to your lips.

"Caitlin Clark," you say and she already knows what's coming. "Is my girlfriend jealous?"

Caitlin groans as he head comes to your stomach again, shaking her head.

"Baby," you say bringing her eyes to meet yours again. "It's your little brother, you have no need to be jealous."

"I know!" Caitlin says. "It's just, we haven't had much time for the two of us, you know? Between my practice and Colin..."

You choose to not bring up the fact that the two of you saw each other less while you were at Iowa and lean down to kiss your girl.

Her hands grip your waist as she pulls you to straddle her waist.

She breaks the kiss and buries her face in your neck.

"How about we have a code word," you say and Caitlin perks up.

"What kind of code word?" She says.

"One that allows us to show each other that we need some alone time with one another," you say.

Caitlin smiles, "Okay, I like that."

"Any ideas of what it could be?" You ask. Caitlin smiles.

"How about buns?" Caitlin says as her hands squeeze your butt.

"Cait!" You squeal.

"It's buns," she says, wrapping her arms around you and laying both of you on the bed.

You roll your eyes but accept.

"Fine," you say as you look her in the eyes. "You know, jealous Caitlin is kind of hot," you says as you see Caitlin's pupils grow dark.

"Yeah?" She says as she licks her lips. You nod and lean in.

"To bad I have a movie to finish," you say sitting up.

Caitlin looks at you like you are crazy.

"You are seriously going to to choose watching a movie with my brother over having sex with me," Cait says in disbelief.

You make your way to the door.

"Yes." You say without a hitch. "Because I know, the longer I make you wait, the more rewarding it is for both of us."

You walk out and you hear Caitlin groan.

AN: I may or may not be doing a prequel to this with the 3 times you declined a date with Caitlin and the time your finally do... I am a fan of the concept. Let me know if you are interested in that. And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍

[deliciousangelfestival]

The Imperfect Couple - 12

Character: politician!Bucky x ex-wife!reader

Summary: A separated couple must pretend to be happily married while the husband runs for Vice President, dealing with old issues and political pressures during his election campaign.

Warning: The couple's arguments could be triggering.

Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6 , Chapter 7 , Chapter 8 , Chapter 9 , Chapter 10 , Chapter 11 , Chapter 12 , Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist || If you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a coffee on Ko-fi 🙏🏻

Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Leave a comment and Reblog, please. I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❤️

It’s just a bluff, one you’ve perfected over the years. You’ve pulled this trick countless times, especially when someone refuses to give you the information you need. Most crack under the pressure, some get nervous and spill their secrets, just as you want.

But a few? A few see right through you.

And Bucky? He was one of those.

He scoffed, leaning back with that infuriating smirk. "I like this mind game."

You sighed inwardly, knowing you’d lost this round. He wasn't going to give anything up.

The tension hung thick in the air until the bathroom door creaked open, and Nate emerged, oblivious to the storm brewing between you and his uncle. Spotting his small luggage by the counter, he beamed, zipping it open to grab a change of clothes and, of course, his stash of snacks.

With his arms full, Nate wandered over to the both of you and handed each a snack—his favorite, the snack he wasn’t allowed to have at home. His parents and Hazel were strict about it, but he knew he could get away with it here, as long as he shared. This was his little bribe.

"This is my favorite," he said, grinning up at you both.

You couldn’t resist. You pulled him into a tight hug, squeezing him gently. “Why are you so damn cute?”

Bucky, knowing exactly how strict Hazel and his parents were about junk food, raised an eyebrow. "Where did you get this? Did you ask the nanny?"

Nate shook his head, completely unfazed. "No. Uncle Steve gave it to me."

That name. The second Nate said it, it felt like an ice-cold bucket had been dumped over your head. You looked at Bucky, and his face tightened. His reaction told you everything—you weren't the only one feeling uneasy.

Something was going on, and Steve’s name was right in the middle of it.

You cleared your throat, determined to break the lingering awkwardness. “Let’s have lunch first. After that, what do you want to do next?”

Nate's eyes widened, his face lighting up with excitement as he turned to look at the spacious living room and the big TV. “Can we watch movies after lunch? Then take a nap together on that big couch?”

He’d seen that in a movie. With his grandparents, he could never relax like that, but he knew his uncles were much more laid-back. He wants to fall asleep while watching his favorite cartoon, being close to his uncle and aunt.

“Sure.” You patted his head gently, feeling a warmth spread through you. Besides, it had been ages since you’d enjoyed a good nap. It felt like a luxury for adults these days.

Lunch turned into a delightful moment of relaxation as the three of you settled around the table. Nate's innocent chatter filled the air, weaving a lightness into the atmosphere that slowly pushed away the tension between you and Bucky. Nate asked questions about everything under the sun—his eyes sparkling with curiosity as he talked about his favorite cartoons and the superheroes he admired.

After lunch, the three of you cozied up on the couch to watch a cartoon movie together. Nate nestled himself right in the middle, sprawled across both of you, laughter echoing through the room.

Within forty minutes, however, the excitement wore him out. He fell asleep, his head resting against your right arm. You smiled, reaching over to gently cup his cheek with your hand. “How did he get such a bubbly personality, considering the Barnes don’t seem to have it?” you mused aloud.

Bucky glanced at you, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “He’s different, isn’t he?” He reached over to place a soft pillow under Nate’s head, ensuring he was comfortable.

“Maybe my parents realized how strict they were raising me, Shawn, and Hazel. When Nate was born, I was surprised by how much gentler they are with him,” Bucky added, his voice softer, as if reflecting on the changes in his family.

“Do you think Steve has a bright character too? I wonder,” you said, still watching the peaceful expression on Nate's face.

Bucky’s smile faded, replaced by a more serious demeanor. “Why do you have to ruin this moment, my love?” he teased lightly before standing up and walking toward the balcony door. He opened it and stepped outside, lighting a cigarette.

You were surprised to see Bucky smoking; he hadn’t done that since you arrived. You knew he wasn’t a regular smoker, but sometimes the stress got to him.

You followed him outside, the cool breeze washing over you as you stepped onto the balcony. Bucky turned to face you, resting his back against the railing. His head tilted back, looking up at the sky as he released a plume of smoke from his lips.

“There’s a difference between me and Steve,” Bucky said, his voice steady yet reflective. “I got into this because of connections.” He paused, knowing that his privileged background played a significant role in his current position. “While Steve? He started from the military. He had no backup. He had real ambitions.”

Bucky’s eyes narrowed, his tone cutting through the tension like a blade. "You see me as a manipulative person," he said, flicking the ash from his cigarette. "But you have no idea how manipulative Steve is."

Your heart skipped a beat at the mention of Steve. The insinuation sent a chill down your spine, and you straightened your posture, folding your arms tightly across your chest. You weren't sure if Bucky was trying to manipulate you again or if he was genuinely warning you about something darker. Either way, the unease crept in.

Bucky’s gaze lingered on you. “If you knew… compared to him, you’d think of me as an angel.”

You raised an eyebrow, your skepticism clear. “That’s hard to believe.”

A humorless smile tugged at Bucky’s lips. “He's a man of plans. If you and I think two steps ahead, Steve’s already thought 100 steps ahead.”

You let out a slow, steady breath, the weight of his words pressing against your chest. “That doesn't excuse what you've done,” you replied, your voice low but firm. “You’re still responsible for dragging me into this.”

Bucky's smirk returned, but this time it held something deeper—almost regretful. “You might think I brought you here just for my own selfishness, but it's also for your protection.”

You blinked, the words hitting you like a slap. “You? Protect me? That’s a joke.” You couldn’t help the bitterness that slipped into your tone. The idea that he’d done anything selfless seemed ridiculous.

Bucky's smirk deepened, almost daring you to challenge him. “Like I said before—you can hate me, stab me, poison me. I’ll take it. But you need to know, I won’t let you get hurt.”

The conviction in his voice sent a tremor through you, but you masked it with a sharp exhale. “Who wants to hurt me?”

Bucky's expression shifted, something darker brewing in his eyes. “You can figure out the truth about Nate. I’m sure you can connect the dots.”

You felt your stomach drop as your thoughts raced. Could he be implying…? No, it couldn’t be. But then again, there were too many unanswered questions. “Is this about the election? And Steve?”

Bucky took a long drag from his cigarette before answering, the smoke swirling in the cool air. “You were walking through a minefield, and I got you out before you stepped on something that could blow your life apart.”

His words struck hard, and you bit your lip, turning over the recent jobs you’d taken. None of them seemed directly linked to the election, but you were a journalist with many connections, many stories—maybe one of them had crossed the wrong lines without you realizing it.

“This… this just makes me wonder even more why you chose to support Steve,” you said, a bitter edge creeping into your voice.

Bucky stubbed out his cigarette against the balcony railing. “His leadership fits this country. You can disagree with that all you want. But Steve… Steve loves this country.”

You frowned, your mind spinning. Could that really be it? Could Bucky, despite all the manipulations and half-truths, genuinely believe Steve was the right person to lead? Or was this yet another layer of the twisted game they were all playing?

Bucky’s gaze softened slightly as he glanced at Nate through the glass door, the boy still soundly asleep on the couch.

“About Nate…” Bucky hesitated for a moment, and you could sense the weight of the words he was about to speak.

Your pulse quickened, your eyes narrowing as you waited for him to continue.

“I won’t add more to what you already know,” he finally said, his voice heavy with the promise. “Because I made a vow—I’ll take the truth about Nate and Hazel to my grave.”

The room seemed to tilt slightly, and a cold realization settled over you. Whatever secret Bucky was keeping, it was bigger than you’d thought. And it wasn’t just about the election… it was about Nate and Hazel.

“So, I should be grateful that you dragged me out of a minefield?” You raised an eyebrow, the skepticism clear in your voice. “I’m not even sure it exists.”

Bucky met your gaze, unflinching. “Why do you think I’ve supported the independent company where you work?” His tone was steady, calm. “I could’ve ruined it. Could’ve made it go bankrupt, easily.”

Your fists clenched at your sides, heat rising in your chest. His words stung, even though he wasn’t saying them with any malice. Still, you couldn’t help the tension building inside you.

But then his voice softened, the intensity in his blue eyes never wavering. “You probably didn’t realize it,” Bucky continued, “but you’ve already passed through a minefield that could’ve ruined Steve.”

Your breath caught for a moment. Wait. Does that mean he sees me as a threat? The thought swirled in your mind, unsettling you. Was that why Bucky had been hovering around, keeping a close watch?

The room seemed to shrink around you, the air thick with the weight of unspoken truths. You searched Bucky’s face, trying to read between the lines. But there was no malice, no manipulation there—just something deeper, something protective.

“What are you trying to say?” you asked, your voice quieter now, a mix of confusion and frustration.

Bucky’s eyes softened. “I’m not here to control you. I just… don’t want you to get caught in the crossfire of something bigger than either of us.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding, the tension still lingering, but his words had shifted something inside you.

"Crossfire?" you scoffed, shaking your head. "It’s ironic, isn’t it? We can talk about other people, stay calm. But when it’s about us? All we ever do is argue."

Bucky’s jaw tightened at your words. She’s right, he thought, his heart aching with guilt. It’s always a fight when it comes to us.

He wanted to say something to ease the tension, but every word seemed wrong. He watched you—how your arms crossed defensively, how tired your eyes looked. Not angry, just… tired of it all.

“I know,” Bucky finally admitted, his voice rough with regret. “I’m the one who keeps messing this up. I keep dragging us into this same damn fight.”

You didn’t blink, didn’t soften. You were too worn down by it all. "Then why keep doing it?" you asked, voice tinged with exhaustion. "Why keep playing these games, Bucky? I’m tired. I’m so tired of being caught in your manipulation. It’s like… you don’t even care what it does to me."

Bucky winced at the rawness in your words, the reality of it hitting him hard. He ran a hand through his hair, feeling the weight of his mistakes like never before. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” he said quietly, his gaze dropping. “I know it looks like that, but… I never meant for it to be this way. I did it because I was scared.”

Your heart clenched at the confession, but the exhaustion was still there, weighing you down. “Scared of what? Of just talking to me? Of being honest?”

Bucky shook his head, stepping closer, his hand twitching like he wanted to reach for you but unsure if he could. “I was scared of losing you again,” he admitted, his voice cracking slightly. “I did everything I could to keep you here, to keep you close. But I know I went about it all wrong. I twisted things, manipulated situations, because I thought it was the only way.”

You stared at him, your chest tightening as his words sunk in. He wasn’t trying to push you away—he was clinging to you, so tightly that it hurt.

“You have no idea what that feels like, Bucky,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “To be pulled into your games, not knowing why, thinking I don’t matter to you. It’s exhausting.”

Bucky’s face fell, the guilt in his eyes unmistakable. “I know. And I hate that I did that to you,” he said softly. “I hate myself for it. But it wasn’t because I didn’t care. It’s because I care too much, and I didn’t know how to handle it.”

You could see the truth in his eyes now, the desperation behind his actions. It didn’t erase the pain, but it explained it.

“I was afraid that if I didn’t do everything I could, you’d leave me again,” Bucky continued, his voice shaky. “And I couldn’t take that. Not again. I know I’ve been manipulative, and I know I’ve hurt you because of it. But I was doing it to keep you close… not to push you away. I’m sorry.”

Your throat tightened, the weight of his confession settling in. You hated what he had done, but you could finally see where it came from—fear, desperation, and a love so deep he didn’t know how to control it.

Bucky stepped closer again, this time more confident. “I’ll stop,” he said, voice steady but full of regret. “I’ll stop with the manipulation, with the games. You deserve so much better than that. You deserve better than me, but I’m not giving up. I’ll make things right if you let me.”

You didn’t answer right away, the ache of everything still too fresh. But before you could respond, Bucky took a step back, his eyes filled with a mixture of hope and fear.

“I don’t want to lose you again,” Bucky whispered, his voice barely audible. “But I’ll understand if I already have.”

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