#this challenge isn’t a way to define a specific appearence for her in the fic

[hom3landr]

CALLING ALL BAKERVERSE FANS

Soooooo I have a fun challenge for any artists out there who are fans of Bakerverse. Please send me interpretations of your Baker and how you picture her. The sky is the limit and you can depict her however you want. After the submissions are all in, I’ll have a vote and whoever wins I’ll use their art as the header for the next chapter. If this is a success I can hold similar events for future chapters.

Would anyone be interested? Please let me know. If I get a positive response I’ll set a submission deadline and iron out some contest guidelines. I can’t wait to see everyone’s creativity.

[washymylifeaway]

SunaOsa fanfic recs: valentines edition~~

SunaOsa is one of my all time favorite ships and this past month, there has been/was an exchange going on between writers (here is the link) and artists (separately) and because I don’t have a life (or maybe it’s just that SunaOsa is my life LOL), I’m here to tell you some of my favorite fics from the pile :D However, as much as I love a ship, sometimes fluff is too asajndajnd so mind you there will probably be a lot of good fics missing just cause I couldn’t get myself to read more fluff (or angst) LOL (IM SORRY but sometimes I also just can’t motivate myself to read a fic no matter how good it looks OOPS).

As always, please check warning and tags before reading any of these fics, and take care of yourselves!!!!

In no particular order (jk the order is last updated haha) tho my favorites will have *** next to them :)

***glass stained black by unrequitedangst (E) 31k // Mafia AU’s are some of my favorite kinds of fics, and this one did not disappoint! The character development of Osamu is really legit and despite being mafia, it’s not that heavy or angst of a fic (but you should still definitely read tags and warnings first). It’s an Osamu heavy fic, and if you’re into reading him being stupid, go right ahead LOL.

redux by catalysis (T) 2.3k // ngl I hate break-up fics with a passion truely (when you can’t handle fluff or angst what to do) but I liked the concept for this one hehe (so I made myself suffer LOL). It was short, but cute !!! and the unspoken words really hit me in the FEELS (so what I’m dramatic fight me LOL).

Impropriety by DeathBelle (T) 5.7k // royalty~ I love the banter between them in this fic and we DO stan respectful Osamu yes we do <33333 The relationships between not only SunaOsa but SunaAtsu (because even though it isn’t really SunaAtsu best friend agenda, I can delude myself into think it is okay :/) are done so well and so nice he’s mean Osamu is best Osamu.

***what are you waiting for? by Slumber (T) 3.7k // MIGHT BE MY FAV FIC FROM THIS EXCHANGE!!! It made me cackle and I love how they learn new things about each other!!!! Like the development is so good and Suna is really doing the MOST!! Also, I love recursive endings AHHHHHH!

agape by sketchedsmiles (T) 11.7k // soulmates, then they were SOULMATES! (ik that’s not how it goes but pls just humor me LOL) This fic really depicted Osamu’s insecurities/internal turmoil/overthinking really well and the realization he has vs Suna’s AHJAFKASFJ. I love confident Suna.

fireside by tartaglia (starkartifices) (T) 3.6k // we do love the subtle flirt flirt don’t we hehe ;) It’s short, it’s fluff, and it’s funny - what more could you ask for? Also whats a vigilante fic if there isn’t at least one pun about being a vigilante LOL.

Over and Over Again by tookumade (G) 6.4k // I would like to order one reassuring, reliable Miya Osamu for myself please and thank you :((( The way the relationship is so GOOD like both Suna and Osamu pick each other up and they know the other has their back ajfhkajdfl. I would purchase all the onigiri with the deal Suna was proposing ;) Onigirintarou.

from here to eternity by TheGlovedArtist (T) 6.6k // I for one am a big fan of mythology and stuff (heroes of olympus but like IDR any of the plot LOL) so of course I read this fic. The snark appearances of Sakusa and Komori gave me LIFE and the difference in descriptions from Astumu and Kita cracked me up. This is another respectful Osamu fic (yes I love these) and in this one it was a ‘I save you as much as you save me’ type beat LOL. Gotta love rings.

***Subtle Inarizaki Dating by sifuhotman (T) 15.2k // THIS ONE. Even if you don’t read the whole thing, I beg of you, please, I AM ON MY KNEES, read the SID for Astumu. It is worth the loss of all your brain calls I guarantee it. It made me giggle so freakin much. Suna might be an A-Hole but he’s OUR A-Hole <3

Forever Begins with 8 Seconds by subtlehues (T) 3.9k // FLUFF hehe, I love their dynamic in this one it’s very good and cute and everything great! Also, I am all for the head cannon that Suna cannot cook, yes pls. Also SUPERPOWERS whooooooooh.

***try again, and again, and again by rosegoldwriting (T) 2.6k // SOULMATES! If you ever wanted a specific soulmate AU! for SunaOsa look no further, it probably comes out LOL. I love this concept of them just being like ‘WTF’ everyday, it gives me life. Also, count how many soulmate AU’s you recognized because I just thought about it and I think it’d be fun LOL. (I went back and I think 11 but I’m not sure LOL)

let us burn by SilverMoonT (G) 13.5k // I am always up for a nice vampire Osamu and witch Suna (which believe it or not, is my second one because I read the other one by this writer LOL) This one is more Suna POV and it really goes into his fears and desires, and I like the way Osamu pushes him to live more freely.

***reasons to microwave an elixir by spiritscript (T) 8.2k // THIS ONE. UGH I love, and it’s funny and cute and it EVEN HAS CRIME (kinda not really but yes)! I love the quiet moments they have and the PET AHHHHHHH! We love medic Osamu :DDDDD But also the betrayal and the sparring (and the irony at the end LOL) AJSKJNFK.

we fall between by stringendos (T) 14.7k // honestly the entire time I was just screaming at my computer, begging for them to hurry up and realize, but alas this is a ~slow burn~ for a reason and the tag ‘exes who act like theyre married’ really is the reason I read it and I do not regret LOL. Also bless Matsuda and stan her.

All the Time in the World by minie_ai (M) 8.8k // we love immortality! Denial! And Suna mentally filing away blackmail against people (namely Astumu) LOL. Running away from your problems is always the answer (I am saying this is a not sarcastic manner because I too, run away from my problems LOL) but ramen is ALWAYS a good answer. We love ourselves some emotional constipation LOL.

***none but you by broikawa (T) 7.2k // everything is a competition always LOL, not that I’m complainin but still LOL EVERYTHING. I really love this one because I love the progression and cock-block SakuAtsu hehe. I love them being synchronized idiots <3

it all comes back to you, (my home) by iritaescents (T) 4.5k // FOREVER, WE STAN FOREVER. Anyway, LOL this was is very very cute and fluff and not slow burn, it fast burn LOL. It’s a cute fic to read and it even has our favorite, now say it with me SOULMATES LOL.

Can't help falling in bed with you by tirralirra (T) 6.7k // here we see a 5 + 1 with points for the title (I think it’s very funny LOL my humor is bad ;)) Not that it really needs extra points because it’s a great fic in itself LOL but I really liked the title so I felt the need to share this with you all (OOPS). This was so cute, and the + 1 is HILARIOUS.

It’s no longer up :(((((( -> love's consequences by xginpuff (T) 6.5k // WARNINGS AND TAGS been a while since we had an angsty fic in this list (LOL the way I just tried to avoid all of them hehe). I read the tags but ngl I was still surprised later LOL maybe I’m just dumb, but anyway IK it starts out a bit confusing, but after you read more, you’ll get into it!

***sunagashi by bastigod (T) 9.8k // if there’s anything I like more than mythology, it’s folklore LOL. I love this fic and the plot is written so artfully AHDSAJN. Also the scene with the Ume-chan and her comment (so snarky I love). Also they way I went through so much trouble trying to figure out the kanji LOL (SPOILER it’s miyarin hehe)

catch me (while i'm still runnin') by lunarins (T) 4.3k // first and foremost, may we have a moment of silence for Komori and his eyebrows..... Continuing, this fic was so good because I love a good heist hehe. Their slight of hand abilities really doing the most LOL, and the ending OMG. I love the way the writer added in how they appeared to others during the heist, it really made it so good! Ugh to have a painting class and almost die LOL.

***if we get this right by Slumber (G) 5k // OLD FRIEND plsplspls I love this fic and I love how Osamu slowly relearns who he knew Suna as AHHH. The ending, again UGH, I really loved it and their banter with one another.

The Study of Suna Rintarou by DeathBelle (T) 6.1k // PLEASE the way Osamu kept getting offended omg. But also the effort Suna puts into getting to know Osamu, I was in ~love~. Read to me Osamu, READ TO ME. But also the Osamu is an oblivious MF agenda is alive and well within this fic hehe.

Take a Hint by pancake_surprise (G) 2.3k // ok so I had just read a tumbr post about the one bed thing and then I saw this fic. It was like the stars aligned okay? I was like, ig I HAVE to read it now hehe. But seriously read it, it’s cute and like everything else, of course there’s a challenge to be made LOL.

Heatwave by pancake_surprise (G) 2.1k // the way they were dating without knowing they were dating man. The tag ‘Didn't Know They Were Dating‘ more accurate than the ‘first dates’ one LOL jk but actually tho am I kidding? It’s the first official one IG. LOL anyway, we do love the doin of the defining of relationships. Yup.

If you made it all the way down here, CONGRATS LOL. Like I said, I didn’t read all of them (sadly) and these were the ones i did read LOL. I might add more depending on whether I can motivate myself into reading fics I know will be good LOL so we’ll see heh. Honestly, I thought I was gonna get word counted, but YAY we finished (for now hehe). Also sorry for any possible typos (is this no beta we die like men?) I’m running on 90 min of sleep so my engrish be strugglin LOL. Be safe and wear masks :)

[butyouvealwaysbeenthecaretaker]

There's something I'm trying to put into words,

about the discomfort of straight women who are very into slash and yaoi. It's been bothering me in a quiet way for a while, and then over the weekend it exploded, and I'm trying to pick my way through pain constructively.

There's a couple of things.

~*~

Point zero is that desire is good, actually, and so is fantasy. Keep this in mind, we'll come back to it.

~*~

The first thing is shame. People who are choosing to approach their own desire from the side, not willing to recognise their own bodies or vocalise their desire in their own voice, or think about sex in which their bodies participate. People who are too afraid to work on their own liberation, so take yours.

After all, feminist sexual writing is a whole genre and tradition. The only reason why queer men's liberation feels appealing to these women is that they have nothing at stake in it: it's fantasy, it's safe, it's nothing to do with or about them.

For actual queer men, the process of liberationary sex writing is - of course - mortifying; or there is a stage of mortification and pain one experiences in approaching it. It is not, and never will be, your safe space; that's why you're trying to transform it into one.

~*~

The second thing is privacy. I'd wake up and log on and there would be a full-flown gigglefest about sex in slash, and not being able to quite put my finger on how to say - this is making me feel bad and weird. And in retrospect, this picks up on point 1. Whose bodies are we sexualising in this space. I want to go back and start a conversation about how I prefer girl-on-top and how people who read missionary fic are gross, and hey when you read Barbie/Ken fic, do you see them mostly doing it doggy style?

Because I think that would make-it-real, for these women to feel their own bodies are at stake and being scrutinised in the conversation.

Making my morning coffee, I wonder what kinds of sexual relationships these women have, and if they know that "gay missionary" isn't this abstract concept that appears in fanfiction but a kind of sex they have all the right anatomy to experience for themselves. I suspect they would not like that, and that also the purpose of these conversations is specifically so that nobody envisages them having sex, or being sexual beings.

~*~

The third is experience.

A. thinks that it's a problem that teenagers watch gay porn. (A. wrote her dissertation on gay porn.) A has never had her rights removed on the basis that the world must be made "safe for children".

B thinks there's too much gross stuff in fanfic and it should be banned. B has never experienced fanfic archives removing LGBT material under the aegis of child-protection and removing what is "gross". B has never experienced a reasonable-sounding expansion of anti-kink laws being used in the vaccum where anti-gay laws once stood, the way they disproportionately target queer porn, or are used to harass sex workers, or arrest queer people.

C thinks that anyone who has a gross fantasy, is a hair-trigger away from actually hurting somebody. C is cisgender, and will never be arrested in a bathroom or have her body regarded as inherently a gross sexual fetish. C does not date women, and has never come to learn that a fist may be more easy to take than a kiss, when you are made to feel disgusting for desiring love. C is also asexual - the shame associated with having a sexual expression of any kind is not on her radar. C does not experience gender dysphoria, and had to wrestle with the downright odd things you brain does to manage a libido and an incoherent body all at once. C has never dated someone who survived the peak of AIDS, and has formed intimate connections between blood and sex and death, forged by decades of homophobic media and law. C. cannot tolerate the concept of erotic horror because she has never been made to experience her own body and desires as horrifying.

All these women spend all their free time making stories about imaginary gay and crossdressing men, talking about drag race, and sylvester.

This is not dissonant to them. As we have said, these women see queer man culture as a a place of safety - an escape from patriarchy and their own discomfort. They are unable to comprehend queer expression as a thing that is not safe.

They are very certain that they can tell the difference between a sexual expression that is gross and nongross; and hurting the gross is therefore OK, because punishing perverts will never be co-opted in their soft-focus world of tender coffeshop AUs and gentle longing and having the right kind of gay sex that is photogenic for women to consume.

~*~ A corollary: these things are not for you. What if we defined queer media - one of many possible definitions - as a thing that excludes. Their defining quality is a conversation between queer artist and queer listener, drawn from the conversations the artist had with their friends and lovers, or conversations with the world which anyone within the wall will find familiar.

I am suddenly, humbling-ly and viscerally aware of where the *don’t like white people who like ballroom culture* people are coming from

~*~

The fourth thing is that broader conversation about women with privilege (whiteness, class, straightness), being unable to consider that their behaviour could ever be dangerous or destructive.

Their own narrative of sexual victimhood and shame is central in their own hearts, and they are incapable of adopting an intersectional perspective which adds nuance to their experiences.

~*~

And the fifth is how much they hate you when you try and bring actual queer politics into their fragile world.

Simultaneously asking, on the one hand - could we make this space safe for work again, so it feels a little less like it does now? and being howled at, as if that's an outrageous restriction on their right to talk about pornography.

And on the other, if we are to be a porn conversation place, can we try and rethink the judgemental "anyone who likes weird sex is a threat" attitudes that come up over, and over, and over again.

Needless to say, the needle for "this man is a sexual predator" fired in under 30 seconds and, shortly after demanding I leave the community I established, nobody has spoken to me since.  

~*~

There's a particular soreness, I think, of being around people who want to casually chat about drag and feel like Born This Way is theirs and want to PM you about their dissertation on gay porn studios of the 1970s and stan the Marquis de Sade

but cannot take the reality of being around queer people or their lives.

An ugliness, a grossness, a grossness that compounds the passively "being treated like a sexual object" into an active bar on having sexual subjectivity. A be seen but not heard of the bedroom: be seen, a Bowie-chiselled Velour-glamoured Cowley-sparkling Velvet Goldmine vision;

but not heard, as in, don't ever cross that line into talking about real sex in our fantasies (even when our fantasies are your real sex), and don't ever make us consider that our words have weight.

I'm spending time in a little world with women who like Interview with a Vampire, the Company of Wolves, David Lynch and the Marquis de fucking Sade, and who are so fragile around their own fears of desire that they cannot tolerate someone saying - it's fine to be into stuff, and not be ashamed.

This odd middle space, where on the one hand I am comfortable in spaces which are sexually silent - where the horror and challenge of my body and life never come up; and on the other, I am comfortable in spaces which are radically sexually open, in which no-one need feel afraid or judged.

These women, on the other hand, want something else: this desire to talk about sex billowing out of them, irrepressably, but also to use that freedom to box other sexualities down tight - to judge, to shame, to define themselves coyly by describing others as disgusting, to feel that urge spilling into view only to publically run away from it and demand others do the same.

Erotica, without wanking. Desiring men, without women. Thinking about the sex lives of your toy dolls, but not being into that weird stuff. Fantasies, with no bodies. Male sexuality, with no actual men in it.

~*~

I am the last of three queer people who has left that community; and still, I imagine, the "define our own sexuality in coded ways by judging things we are not as gross, and creating in the gaps around our own bodies and desires a world of gay men who are like I wish to be" conversations are going on; but unobserved by any actual queers who might break the fantasy.

And reader, I liked these people. I'm heartbroken.

[monsterfucker-lisa-swallows]

12.28.20

So. 10 years.

Yeah, today is the 10 year anniversary of me making this blog. I’d previously been an Amy Pond roleplay blog, but I tired of that after a few weeks and deleted that and made this instead. It marked the beginning of the end for my DeviantART, which I deleted a few months later.

I can’t believe I’ve been on this site for 10 years, but also can’t imagine being anywhere else. This place is part of my routine now, and I can’t imagine life without this outlet. This bastion of Old Internet Anonymity. Sure, my drafts have been broken for 2 years, but that’s Tumblr.

Thank you to everyone who’s been with me over the years, even if we’ve fallen out of touch. Special thanks to @robincrowe, @empathetic-vibrations, and my gf @super-skitty who migrated with me from DeviantART back when I was still 10nant-Fangirl. Thanks to people like @doll-frakking-house who’ve been here almost as long. Thank you all.

If you want more content from me, I post music news/trivia as well as a song each day over on my music blog, the-music-dealer.

I also post frequently on Archive of Our Own under the name the-red-rabbit. I post...

Good Omens:

“This Was Originally Called ‘Temptation Waits’, But the Title Was Left in the Car”

Ineffable Wives AU focusing on the 6000 years.

“Child in a Seacave”

Some time after the narrowly averted apocalypse, Crowley receives a message from God. But will he agree to answer her? Written because I have trauma with my own parents, but I was keeping my trans readers in mind when I wrote this one.

“Crimson and Clover”

Aziraphale tries chat-up lines.

Good Omens Series:

As Heaven is Wide Series:

Part 1: As Heaven is Wide

Aziraphale and Crowley decide to take a post-apocalypse road trip to see the world, but it gets cut short when they come upon a teenage girl who (despite her protests) needs to be rescued. Things get more complicated when they find themselves once again in direct opposition of heaven, and they have to wonder if it's worth upending their shaky peace with heaven to keep her safe.

There are trigger warnings on this multi-chapter series, but I don't go into real graphic detail because I don't think the story needs that. As someone with trauma, I don't think it's productive to be incredibly graphic. I deal more in implications and off-screen for that type of material. (If you've read some of my other stuff, this one is positively tame compared to that.)

Part 2: Perfect

While Aziraphale finds himself quite comfortable with the trials of parenthood, Crowley finds that raising a teenager is more challenging than he'd expected.

Part 3: Going to Hell (In Progress and Updating today)

Sending their daughter to her first day at school was always going to be a challenge for Aziraphale and Crowley. After all, she still hasn't got a grip on her magic and the thought of being apart from her causes them some portion of anxiety. They just want her to enjoy her new life and fit in, but that's a little hard to do when a lost ghost appears to ask her for help.

Yeah, this one's definitely inspired by Buffy the Vampire Slayer, except instead of metaphors for growing up as a general thing, it's specifically metaphors for obstacles for healing from trauma.

Community:

“And a (Short) Movie”

The study group tries to define the word 'himbo'.

“Community: The Movie (One By One They All Just Fade Away)”

It's been 5 years since Abed Nadir left for Hollywood to pursue a career in film. When he receives a call in the dead of night from Greendale, Colorado, it becomes his responsibility to deliver the news to the rest of his old study group. He embarks on an epic journey to track down Troy Barnes on his boat.

Dean-dong, the Dean is dead.

But is he?

Jeff Winger isn't so sure. He enlists the help of his old "study buddy" Annie Edison to use her FBI skills to find out what really happened to Craig Pelton.

When the study group returns to Greendale, they find that the school has been bought out by Hot Topic. Britta, who liked Hot Topic back "before it sold out", immediately channels her grief into protesting it. But when she meets a fellow anarchist who has vowed to take down the chain from the inside, she's forced to contend with the fact that shouting opinions isn't the same as creating meaningful change.

I have one Hannibal/Willy Wonka fic that I wrote for fun: “Lollirot”

Willy Wonka is a humble man with a dream of making candy for all the children of the world. When he starts running out of ideas for new confections, he seeks help for his depression. His doctor, Hannibal Lecter, is a strangely charming man with unorthodox ideas for how a factory should be run. Before long, Will starts to experience paranoid delusions about his competitors and loses his grip on reality as he sinks deeper into self-imposed isolation with nobody but his doctor to guide him.

A prequel to the show Hannibal.

One Grinch fic: “How the Grinch Got Therapy”

Epilogue to How the Grinch Stole Christmas empathizing with the Grinch. Because as a person with religious trauma, especially centered around Christmas, I think it's about time that we stop shaming people for not having fun during Christmas. Some people won't celebrate and it's weird how we're all expected to assimilate.

And my magnum opus, the fic I’ve been working on off and on for 10 years even since my DeviantART days...

Doctor Who Fic Series:

Am I...Ginger?:

Season 1: Am I...Ginger?

The Doctor swore off companions after Journey's End, believing himself too dangerous to be around them. But while looking for members of the Trickster's Brigade, he stumbled upon a child of Torchwood that made him question all that.

Of course, there's another problem. He was warned that the Trickster had a weapon, one that could defeat him once and for all. He follows the clues to London, where he finds a nameless woman whose love of history does not include sharing her own. Could she be the weapon he was warned about? Is he just interested in her as a distraction from his own mortality? Can she be saved this time? Can any of them? Or are they doomed to life the way it was written?

(Set between the Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith and the Waters of Mars.)

(There are trigger warnings, but as always it only applies to one specific chapter and potential mentions. But this will deal with issues that people might find distasteful.)

Season 2: Am I...Ginger? The Mourning After (In Progress and Updating Today)

Picking up right from where season 1 left off.

"The Doctor's dead."

That's where this story left off. Despite many attempts to contact him, he's been nowhere to be found. But DOES that mean he's dead? The ragtag group of misfits he left behind keep having conflicting thoughts on the subject. Is he dead? Held hostage somewhere in need of rescue? Just avoiding them?

Just when they give up hope, the Doctor decides to crash his own funeral. Two funeral crashings in a row, that has to be a record for him. But can he still fit in the world he left behind, or has he changed too much? Is it even a good idea to try?

Set when Amy and Rory are on their honeymoon (between "A Christmas Carol" and "The Impossible Astronaut"). This is also just after "The Death of the Doctor" episode of the Sarah Jane Adventures. As usual, I'm playing fill-in-the-blanks with unexplored parts of canon.

...

10 years flew by. You guys have been there with me through some of the toughest parts of my life. I made this blog when I was still a 15 year old in an abusive home and it’s been with me ever since. So let’s hope the next 10 years will be better lmao.

[archiveacademics]

Why write fanfic?

I left off my last post with a screenshot from AO3′s homepage that gave some stats about how many fandoms are represented and stories have been written on the site. And there’s a lot, over 5 million works so far. But what is it that drives people to write fanfic? 

In Fic by Anne Jamison, popular YA author Rachel Caine writes about how fanfic saved her writing career. 

“By 1999, I was ready to quit professional writing. Quit, completely and utterly. I was still doing the occasional short story...During this time I wrote another novel, Exile, Texas, a straight mystery/thriller; but although it was published, it also sold in not fantastic numbers.

But mostly? Mostly it was the fic that kept me writing, from the sheer joy of creating stories in a wold that I loved to inhabit. I also loved the challenge of working in a world that had clearly defined rules and characters. Unlike most fanfic writers, I didn’t want to write outside the lines; the highest compliment I could be offered was when readers confused one of my stories for an actual episode of the show [I was writing about].”

A similar story is told by Betts, a guest on the Fansplaining podcast episode “The Craft of Writing (Fanfiction)” Betts was working at a bank and smothered her creative and fannish impulses when she discovered a popular fanfic in the BBC Sherlock fandom called “A Cure for Boredom.” And it changed the whole trajectory of her life. She eventually got an MFA and became a writing instructor. She even uses fanfic in her classes. 

“In Creative Writing, I have a lot more freedom, and so since I went into the MFA as a…as what they called a “self-taught” writer, since I had no creative writing—traditional creative writing instruction before that point, I developed my class around how I taught myself how to write, which involved very heavily fanfic.

And so I would take, when I started writing fic, I would take a concept that I wanted to improve on—and I did this very systematically, very scientifically—take a concept I wanted to improve on, and I would do all this research, and I would find like, resources and what other people thought of it and whatever, and then I would write a fic where I only focused on that single thing. And then everything else I didn’t care about. So like, if I was focusing on character development or voice, then it didn’t matter what anything else was doing. I was just, one thing at at time.

And so I got to develop my class around that, and that, like, I have these like—I have lesson plans, and I have a week dedicated to fairy tales, and a week dedicated to…and the fairy tale week is actually about form. And how to break form and invoke meaning. And I have a week based on character development, a week based on, on endings, which is called “Exit Strategies.” [all laugh] 

And so I do very much bring in fandom context into my classroom, because we also talk about—I should say, I meet with students one-on-one, because I’m, I think I’m better one-on-one than, you know, just standing in front of people talking at them. And I can usually tell by sitting in front of someone what their interaction with pop culture is. [all laugh] And so, like, they’ll be talking about their story, and I’ll just kind of insert, “Do you like fanfiction?” [all laugh] And it’s amazing, it’s amazing how many faces just like light up, like “I didn’t know I was allowed to write that, I didn’t know I was allowed to do that.” And I’m like “Yes, please please please write fanfic, please write things that are a step away from it, please begin with a fic and then move original,” you know. 

And so when I phrase it like “You can start something with something you’re familiar with, and then slowly work it around into something original,” and that kind of branches off of what I see as a major block for a lot of people who are writing original fiction, which is there are just too many decisions to make when you face a blank page.” (From the episode transcript)

Ok, so that’s a lot of words from someone else, I know, but I think what Bett’s gets at here is so important. Writing fanfic is not only about loving something and participating in it, it’s also about learning. Writing fanfic can teach you how to write. 

A simple Google search for “writing fanfic” will bring up a myriad of articles on the subject. From Julie Beck’s “What Fanfiction Teaches that the Classroom Doesn’t” to Colleen Mitchell’s “How Fanfiction can Improve your Writing” and Vivian Shaw’s “6 Ways Fanfiction Makes your Writing Stronger.” 

As Betts says in the podcast episode “[Fanfic] is a genre of freedom.” It allows for lots of different ways of writing and reading and interacting with a piece of media (be it TV, movie, book, or otherwise) that other genres don’t generally allow because there are boundaries, rules of what makes a genre a genre that fanfic doesn’t necessarily have. And it becomes easier to focus on particular aspect of a piece, be it character or plot, when you don’t have to fill in all the blank space. So an AU gives you a new setting to play with, but the characters are still the same, and you’ve got the story laid out for you. Meanwhile a story where you add an OC into an existing world allows you to work on character development without making you create the setting or the plot as well.

I actually ran a survey, posted to Facebook and it only received 12 responses, so it’s by no means scientific. But I asked my friends if they wrote or read fanfic and why.

One of the questions I asked was about when they started writing fanfic, and the answer for most of them was between 10 and 15, though one person said they didn’t start writing fanfic until they were 22, and another said they started at 35! Fanfic is for everyone of all ages, is what I’m saying. I also asked when they stopped writing and while some are still going strong, others stopped in their twenties. 

The most important question I asked, though, was what they got out of writing fanfic. A few of the answers were the expected, about loving the world or being inspired by reading other people’s fics. Many, though, had very interesting reasons for writing their fics. 

The survey was anonymous, so here are some of the answers in no particular order:

“It was some of my first serious attempts at writing a story more than a couple pages long. It was a great way for me to practice plotting, and writing a longer piece, without having to spend all my time working on world building and character creation as well. Also, playing around with the characters and the world, almost like a set of dolls, was - and is - just plain fun!”

“I first started writing it to make my own little world where I could be important and cared about, since I didn't have it in real life. After that I was just interested in exploring a couple concepts/characters deeper than the canon did.”

“I wanted to know what happened in those side stories, but obviously the author wasn’t going to tell me so someone had to do it. I had fun, entertained myself and others, flexed my creative muscles, and learned how to emulate others’ writing voices.”

“I wanted to see the characters explore storylines that weren't getting written in the comics (Rogue was done dirty by the x-men comics in the early 2000s), half of my oc got killed off (Anakin Solo [don't get me started on how much material Disney squandered when they rendered a bunch of novels/comics non-canon]), or I just really hated all the canon pairings (HP)”

I also asked why my friends read fanfic, because a whole big part of the experience is not just writing, but reading it as well!

“The last season [of Gilmore Girls] changed writers and producers and it became a different show, so I turned to fanfic to continue wondering what would happen if the original writers and producers were on the show. Additionally, the fanfic became a lot more interesting. I realized that there were a lot more people that liked the show than I even realized. I was also really impressed with the creativity of the writers. They were able to replicate the characters, how they would act, what they would say, almost perfectly to make a completely new scenario. I would say that reading fanfic has made me more imaginative about the shows I watch, or even the books I read, but also it has opened up a realization that there is a community in almost everything you do.”

“Fanfiction gives you alternate takes so you can spend time in the viewpoint of a character who barely makes an appearance in canon. Also, importantly, fanfic is written by peers, so you can interact with the writers. We are all friends.”

“Probably the main draw is getting to spend more time with the characters that I love, and seeing how they might react in different situations that didn’t come up in the source material. Also, it can be nice to be able to search the archives online to find something to exactly match my mood at the moment (such as if I’m in the mood for angst, or romance, or family bonding, it’s easy to find exactly what I want).”

“Ff is definitely 1) an easier lift than reading something new and 2) satisfies a slightly different itch than canon. It’s easier to read just because I mostly know what to expect from the characters and the type of story. There are few unpleasant surprises and I’m already invested, and if I don’t like a story, it’s easy to drop and move on. Fix in my brain is also wish fulfillment. There are many many things I would never stand for in canon, like overly saccharine endings or pointless melodrama, that I can enjoy in ff because “real” story is already established. Canon has the hard job of making a world or a character enjoyable or interesting. Ff is where I can go to wallow (sometimes for years) in that joy or interest, whether it was a character or a dynamic or just a specific trope.”

At the end of the day, fanfic isn’t just about reimagining stories we love, it’s about reimagining those stories with other people. 

Both Rachel Caine and Betts discuss this, that it was the positive feedback of the fandoms they wrote in that helped give boost their writerly self esteem and keep them coming back to write more, which eventually led to them writing their own original fiction. 

Not that you have to move from fanfic into original fic! There are plenty of people who are completely satisfied writing nothing by fanfic for the rest of their lives. And that’s ok. 

Whatever your experience with fic, whether you are a lurker who just reads but never comments or writes your own stuff, or if you’re a BNF (big name fan) or even a fan who became a big name (like Rachel Caine or Naomi Novik), the pleasure of fanfic is that we get to experience it together.

[an-all-write-life]

Memories Don't Fade

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky was happy, content with his life, and his relationship with you. Until an accident turns his world–and yours–upside down.

Warning(s): Car wreck, mentions of injuries and death, annngst

A/N: This is for @captain-ariel-barnes 4k challenge!! Thank you for letting me participate, lovely! My prompt was "Do you remember me?" So for this fic, instead of everyone being mad at each other at the end of Civil War, they made up and now live together happily in the tower. 😂 (Bucky hasn't gone to Wakanda yet tho) Sitting just over 2900 words, this isn't the longest fic I've written, but is the longest one I've posted! Any and all feedback is welcome! Hope y'all enjoy!

It was an oddly quiet day at the Tower, even though almost all of the Avengers were around. Tony and Bruce were working in the lab, and Same, Rhodey, Nat, Steve, and the others were scattered in various places.

You and Bucky were on the couch, nearing the end of a movie marathon. You were curled up by his side, his arm pulling you closer, an array of candy and popcorn littering the coffee table.

As the credits of the final movie began to roll, you pushed yourself off of Bucky and stretched your arms and legs.

"Mmm," You hummed, closing your eyes as your muscles stretched. "What did ya think, Bucky?"

He shrugged. "It wasn't half-bad."

You looked at him, incredulous. "Not half-bad?" You asked, placing your hand over your heart, mocking hurt.

Bucky grinned. "I'm picking the movie next time." He declared, poking you gently in the side.

Swatting at his hand, you giggled. "Alright, fine." You agreed, jabbing him in the stomach. "But it better not be a chick flick again."

Smirking, Bucky reached over and attacked your stomach with his hands. You instantly fell into laughter as he tickled you mercilessly, his hands finding all of your ticklish spots.

Tears were streaming down your face as you tried to escape Bucky's relentless tickling, to no avail as he pinned your hands above your head.

Finally, breathless with laughter, you managed to choke out, "I-I give!"

Leaning down, Bucky pressed a kiss to your lips, ceasing his attack.

Pulling away, he smiled. "Wanna say that again?" He teased.

You quickly shook your head, still laughing. "No, please, have mercy!"

Pressing another kiss to your lips, he released you. You sat up, cross-legged, eyeing your boyfriend suspiciously as you checked your watch, seeing that it was still early afternoon.

"So, what now?" You asked, turning to Bucky. "I don't want to go home yet."

His eyebrows furrowed in thought, then his eyes lit with a mischievous gleam. "Follow me." He said, getting up from the couch and jogging down the hallway. You hurried to catch up to him, mentally cursing his long, super-soldier strides.

You followed Bucky to the elevator, where he asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to take you to the garage. Your stomach dropped momentarily as the elevator began its descent.

"Why are we going to the garage?" You asked, an eyebrow raised.

Bucky just smirked and winked at you as the elevator doors opened and he stepped out, with you right behind him.

You blinked to adjust your eyes as Bucky flicked on the lights in the garage. Once the spots disappeared from your vision, you watched as Bucky made his way past all of Tony's sports cars and to a motorcycle near the back.

Biting your lip and smirking, having a feeling you knew where this was going, you followed Bucky's path and joined him by the bike.

"So," You said, approaching Bucky with a sly grin. "Isn't this Steve's bike?"

Bucky nodded and tossed you a helmet. "Sure is."

You caught the helmet and drummed your fingers on it. "The one he specifically told you not to touch, or even look at, for that matter?"

He smiled. "The exact one."

"You are such a bad influence, Barnes." You teased.

Climbing onto the motorcycle, he looked at you questioningly. "You coming or not?" He asked, putting on his own helmet.

You paused for only a moment before putting on the helmet and hopping on the motorcycle behind Bucky, wrapping your arms around his waist.

Bucky started the motorcycle and revved it, making you tighten your grip on him. Releasing the brake, you let out a startled yelp as he raced out of the garage and onto the streets.

For the next several minutes all you were aware of was the wind tugging at your clothes, the roar of the motorcycle in your ears, and the feeling of Bucky's well defined abs underneath your hands.

You were able to go through several green lights before hitting a red one. Bucky brought the bike to a stop and waited for traffic to clear and the light to turn green.

When the light finally did change, Bucky revved the engine and started across the intersection. As you glanced to the left, you saw a car rapidly approaching the intersection, on a direct path for you and Bucky.

Your eyes widened from behind the visor on your helmet. "Bucky!" You called, tightening your grip around him, trying to alert him to the situation.

The next moment, your world was filled with the sound of scrunching metal, the feeling of flying through the air, and then...darkness.

_____

...Beep...

...Beep...

...Beep...

The sound of the heart monitor had filled Bucky's ears for nearly a day now. It had become something of a comfort to him; as long as the monitor continued its beeping, it meant you were alive. Which was rather difficult to tell just by looking at you.

Lifting his head, Bucky's ice blue eyes roamed over your figure, lying almost deathly still in the hospital bed, save for the occasional twitch of your fingers. Your left leg was in a cast that went mid-way up your thigh; the doctors said it had broken in three places-twice in your lower leg, once higher up. Your right wrist had suffered a hairline fracture, so it was in a brace. Bandages covered the numerous scrapes you'd gotten, along with road rash all along the right side of your body.

But Bucky's main cause for concern was from the bandage wrapped around your forehead. The x-rays had shown that there was no brain damage, but you had a severe concussion and the doctors weren't quite sure what the extent of it would be. The possibilities ranged from minor symptoms such as sensitivity to light and noise, all the way to the risk of a seizure, with dozens more in between.

All in all, Bucky knew he ought to be grateful. Things could have been so much worse; you could have died. Considering the severity of the crash, it was incredibly lucky that you'd survived.

But all he could think about was how it was his fault. If only he'd seen the car, he could've prevented this, or if he'd never taken you out on Steve's motorcycle in the first place.

Oh geez. Steve's motorcycle. It was completely wrecked. How was he going to tell Steve? Bucky squeezed his eyes shut as he placed more guilt and blame on himself, struggling not to let the tears fall.

What was it you had said before? 'You're such a bad influence, Barnes.' There it was, the truth of the matter. He ruined everything he came into contact with. You had nearly died, just because he'd wanted to take you out on a stupid motorcycle ride. Why didn't he stop and think for once? Then maybe you wouldn't be in this situation. Heck, the only reason you were in this situation was because you loved him; that was the only reason you'd gotten on that motorcycle.

He hadn't been sure in the beginning of your relationship if he deserved to be loved, or even deserved to have someone to love, and even now, he still had doubts. On several occasions you had reminded him that it didn't matter what he thought, that you would always love him, no matter what.

He wondered if that was still true. He wondered if maybe...if maybe you would be better off without him.

Before he could delve further into the thought, you stirred in the bed.

Bucky was instantly on his feet, reaching for your hand.

"Y/N?" He called softly, caressing the back of your hand with his flesh one.

You moaned, slowly opening your eyes. Bucky watched in anticipation as your [e/c] orbs struggled to focus on your surroundings.

"Y/N?" He asked again, worry creeping into his voice.

Your gaze wandered around the room before coming to rest on Bucky's face.

Bucky's heart pounded in his chest as confusion filled your eyes.

"Wh-where am I?" You asked, struggling into a sitting position.

"You're in the hospital, doll. It's alright; everything's going to be okay." Bucky soothed, squeezing your hand reassuringly.

Looking down at your intertwined hands, you gently pulled your hand out of his grip. Your gaze rested on him, your face blank from emotion.

His heart twisted with pain. Did you...?

"Do you remember me?" He asked, fearing the answer.

You continued to stare at him, as if you were seeing him for the first time.

"...Should I?" You asked, brow furrowed.

Heart plummeting like a stone, he hesitated, then shook his head. "No...no, you shouldn't." Stepping away, he turned to go just as Dr. Winslow, the doctor in charge of your care, came into the room.

"Mr. Barnes-"

"I'll be out in the hall." Bucky said, his voice cracking.

Once in the hallway, his legs gave out and he collapsed into a chair, wringing his hands and hanging his head. The cool of his metal hand was a startling contrast against his feverish skin.

After several minutes, during which Bucky was able to text Steve to tell him to meet him at the hospital, Dr. Winslow came out, shutting the door behind him. Bucky stood up quickly, his eyes wide with worry.

"How is she?" He asked.

The doctor sighed and removed his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Mr. Barnes, do you remember our discussion about how we weren't sure what the extent of her head injury would be?"

Bucky felt as if a weight was pressing down on his shoulders. He nodded.

"Well, it appears that she's suffering from-"

"Amnesia." Bucky finished. "She has amnesia, doesn't she? That's why she didn't recognize me."

Dr. Winslow's eyes were full of pity. "Yes."

A wave of nausea washed over Bucky. "Will..." He swallowed past the lump in his throat. "Will she...?"

"Recover?" Dr. Winslow shrugged. "It's difficult to tell. Every case is different. She might regain her memory in a few days, a few months, or...she might not recover at all."

"Does she remember...anything?"

Dr. Winslow nodded. "She remembers her life up until the Battle of New York."

"That's been...years." Bucky whispered. "She's missing years of memories."

"Yes," He said, checking his watch. "I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Barnes, but if you'll excuse me, I have other patients to see..."

Shaking himself out of his stupor, Bucky nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Thanks, doc."

Promising to check on you again later, Dr. Winslow disappeared down the hall, nearly running into Steve as he rounded the corner and approached Bucky.

"Bucky, I came as fast as I could." Steve said. "What happened?"

"Steve..." Bucky recounted the entire story.

"I'm sorry about your bike. It was totaled, I-"

Steve placed a comforting hand on Bucky's shoulder. "Buck, the last thing I'm worried about right now is my bike. How's Y/N? And you?"

Bucky waved off his concern. "I'm fine, thanks to the serum. But Y/N...she...Steve, she has amnesia. The doc said that she doesn't remember the last several years. She...she doesn't remember me."

"Oh, Buck. I'm sure she'll remember you before lo-"

"That's just it, Steve." Bucky interrupted. "I've been thinking, and...I don't want her to remember."

Steve looked confused. "Why not?"

"Just think of everything I've done! It's too dangerous for her to be around me. She's better off not knowing who I am. She deserves to live her life without...without me there, holding her back."

"Holding her back from what?" Steve asked.

"From finding someone who's worthy of her love."

"Buck-"

"Don't try to change my mind, Steve. Please." Bucky pleaded, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

Steve hesitated, then nodded reluctantly. "Alright, Buck. If you're sure."

"I am." Bucky affirmed, heartbroken.

_____

It had been a little over four months since your leg and wrist had healed and you'd been released from the hospital and returned to living in your apartment in Manhattan. Moving on with your life knowing that there was a gap of several years in your memory was difficult, but you were managing.

Unfortunately, after numerous tests at the hospital and opinions from different doctors, they had declared that the odds of your full memory returning were slim to none.

One thing the doctors had recommended was keeping a journal and writing down any little snippets that you happened to recall. So far you hadn't remembered anything, but your dreams were filled with fuzzy images of a blue eyed man, clutching your hand asking if you remembered him.

These dreams had haunted you at the hospital as well, but when you'd told Dr. Winslow about it, he'd said that the dreams were just a side-effect of the concussion.

Shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you grabbed your keys from your purse and unlocked the front door of your apartment, kicking off your shoes as you walked in.

Hanging up your coat and purse, you turned the TV on to the local news and searched for something to ear for dinner in the kitchen.

"Earlier today, several eye-witnesses reported seeing James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier, accompanying the Avengers as they left for a mission. We had a chance to speak with one of-"

The rest of the news casters sentence was drowned out as you took some leftovers from the fridge and warmed it in the microwave.

When it beeped, signaling that your food was done, you took it and sat down on the couch, your eyes fixed on the television. A blurry video of what was supposedly the Winter Soldier with the Avengers was playing, though it was difficult to make out much.

The camera switched back to the news caster. "As many of you will recall, Mr. Barnes was the center of attention a while back, when his attempted assassination of Captain America went viral, and more recently, when he was falsely accused of setting a bomb at the UN in Vienna. Since then, he has been reformed and is believed to be living at Avengers Tower."

You cocked your head as he mentioned the assassination attempt. Frowning, you quickly pulled out your phone and opened up a search browser, typing in 'Captain America assassination attempt'.

As you scrolled through the results, your eyes widened. Had all of that really happened? Dang. What a mess.

Sighing, you wished you could remember these types of things instead of having to whip out your phone and look it up every time you came across some significant event.

Continuing to scroll, you came across some photos of the Winter Soldier. As you examined them, your eyebrows furrowed. Why did he look so familiar...?

Suddenly, your doorbell rang, startling you out of your thoughts.

You got up and after looking through the peephole, opened the door to reveal Mrs. Darla, your elderly neighbor.

"Hi, Mrs. Darla." You greeted, smiling.

"Hello, dear." She said kindly. "I'm sorry to call on you so late, but I was hoping that maybe...maybe you would like to come over and have dinner with me?"

Your heart went out to the gray-haired woman. She'd lost her husband recently and often got lonely. You did what you could to help her out and keep her company.

"Of course," You said. "Just a sec."

Turning off the TV and grabbing your phone, you followed Mrs. Darla down the hall to her apartment.

_____

It was past midnight by the time you got back to your own apartment, having stayed with Mrs. Darla much longer than you'd planned. Locking the door behind you, you stumbled wearily to your bed and promptly fell asleep.

_____

Gentle rays of sunlight were coming in through your window, shining directly on your face. Half-asleep still, you rolled over and placed your pillow over your face to block the sunshine.

Absentmindedly, you wondered why the sun was out this early in the morning; it usually didn't rise until...

You bolted upright, staring at your alarm clock in disbelief. 8:27?! You were supposed to be at work over an hour ago!

Leaping out of bed, you hurried to your closet and threw open the door, your eyes wide as you stared at the empty hangers.

"Crap," You muttered, running your hands through your tangled hair. "I was supposed to do the laundry yesterday."

Turning to your dresser, you checked all of the drawers for something work-appropriate.

In the bottom drawer, stuffed way in the back, was a red shirt that didn't look familiar to you.

Frowning, you pulled it out, bringing a wonderfully pleasant scent with it.

As you breathed it in, a memory rose to the surface like a bubble in a pond.

"It'll look great on you, babe." You promised, holding out the shirt.

"I dunno, doll. Red?" A male voice said.

You nodded. "It'll bring out your eyes."

A pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist. "Do you like it?" He asked.

Nodding again, you smiled at him.

"Alright then."

Grabbing another shirt, you turned to him. "We'll get two; one for you to keep at the Tower, and one for my place."

"Darling, I don't need two-" He started, but you interrupted.

"You ruin shirts like no one I've ever seen before. I'm buying two."

He laughed and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "I love you, doll."

You grinned. "I love you too,-"

"Bucky." You breathed, clutching the shirt to your chest, your eyes wide.

Everything tag list: @bvckysmanbun @avengerdragoness @fangirlnova @sonoflac @redhoodparker @pythiaaa @silversilvercat @purplemetahuman @me-my-gifs-and-i @jaybirdxarsenal @harpertoddfangirl @spiderling-tom @rynne311 @miss-alys

(Strikethrough means I can't tag you)

Wanna be tagged? Let me know! ♥

[sanguinarysanguinity]

rabbit & like a bat family, for the ask meme, whichever questions you feel comfortable answering

(Questions)

Like a Bat-Family

(Elementary; Martha & Kitty & Joan & Sherlock; part of Rolling Remix)

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I received my copy of “Like Family” for remixing and groused and whined and cursed its author, because like hell did I see a way into it. The obvious thing would have been to flip the pov to Kitty, but “Like Family” might already have been a pov-flip from whatever came before it and I didn’t want to risk just flipping it back again.

I finally decided on a slumber-party-like variation of the mutual nail-painting, probably featuring Martha. Then once I had Martha and Kitty in the same mental premise, I realized they had probably built some kind of relationship during their mutual time in the brownstone, and thus that Martha should be added to the list of people cheated of a proper good-bye with her. (And not just cheated of a good-bye, but of the entire history of their relationship!) So this became a reunion/closure story for not only Joan-and-Kitty, but also Martha-and-Kitty.

I set it during New Year’s at the brownstone mostly out of cussedness. I’d already remixed a story for the exchange, which meant I knew there was a cluster of NYE stories at the beginning of the chain. I thought it’d be hilarious to re-introduce the New Year’s theme at the tail end of the chain, too, in the hopes that it would mess up some of the guessers.

2: What scene did you first put down?

A scene that no longer exists: Joan on the roof New Year’s morning, ostensibly cleaning up after the party but mostly staring at the river, and being surprised by Kitty’s entrance. The energy was never quite right, somehow, and the whole story stalled there until I switched povs and began over with Martha. However, the scene still indirectly exists in the current version of the story, and the original image of Kitty appearing from nowhere like Batman was the genesis of the Bat-Family motif.

The only part of that now-deleted scene that I was really sad to lose was the color scheme:

[Joan stood at the roof edge, looking out at] the desaturated, wintry grays of the city, contemplating the rough slate of the East River and how it reflected back the platinum sky above.

Happily, I was able to salvage the bones of that description for Nostoi:

Beyond that streak of white, there was nothing but grey all around us: sky and rain and sea-water; iron and silver and slate.

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

Joan and Sherlock argued silently with each other, a flurry of mulish mouths, jutted jaws, and raised eyebrows.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

“Alfred,” she whispered, and all three of them cracked up into giggles.

5: What part was hardest to write?

Ugh, gah, cramming in the backstory and off-screen bits. Backstory and flashbacks are always a struggle to incorporate smoothly without overexplaining or messing up the narrative flow, and this story was written so quickly, with so little opportunity for editing… Meh.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

My first and only story from the pov of a trans character? More unusually, I didn’t have the time to ask someone who is trans to look it over – that’s usually something that I take care to do when writing a marginalized identity outside of my own experience. But once again, the turn around time was so fast… I hope I did no harm, and I own it if I did.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

I was going to bring back Joan’s accordion from the first two stories, which – when joined with Kitty’s clarinet and Sherlock’s violin – would be the foundations of a Klezmer band. (Martha would be on drums, because.) When I later saw that someone in the exchange had written a Band AU I kicked myself so hard that I hadn’t done it.

Rabbit

(TSCC; Jesse Flores; 5+1)

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

The Terminator franchise centers itself so strongly on Southern California and the Connors, I craved to know what that franchise looks like if you don’t presuppose John Connor as the center of the universe. Further, I am fascinated with the way the timelines fold back on themselves in that franchise, the way Judgement Day is forever shifting, the way futures keep reaching back to rewrite the past-to-be based on whatever has been going on in the current timeline.

A 5+1 seemed a convenient way to explore what successive futures might look like when one is half a world away from the causes, experiencing only the after-effects; it also allowed me to build an argument that John Connor may not always be the single most important person in the future. That is, that there might be futures where other people become more strategically significant.

I also had the very misguided idea that a 5+1 would be a short, simple, and easy structure, and would get me out of having to build and plot a full-blown story. Ha fucking hah.

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

There are a ton of narrative lines I love, mostly in the final section. But have this one out of the fifth section:

Jesse stared at the farmboy, her gaze flicking to where the dolphins should have been on his chest. Jesus Fucking Christ. A whole crew of nubs. They were running a deathtrap.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

“You are not a god, Derek. You made choices, I made choices, John Connor made choices. We all made choices. Hell, there’s a twelve-year-old Jesse out there somewhere, making choices. Whether to swim at the leisure centre or swim at the beach. For all you know, the war hinges on the choice she made today.”

Tied with:

“What do you want me to say, that it could have been anyone? That the only reason Skynet went after you—the only reason your family died—is because Goodnow tells a good story and Skynet fell for it?”

Because I have opinions about the Terminator franchise, and how everyone is running around making choices based on stories they were told. Skynet, the Connors, everyone from the future who gets their hands on a time machine, everyone they meet in the past: everyone has heard a story, and now they’re all making choices, and the entire future history of the world is gonna hinge on those choices. Talk about a universe that runs on fucking hearsay and gossip.

But mostly my favorite line is this:

“I’m Jesse!” she screamed at it, to make herself breathe. “I’m Jesse fucking Flores!”

Because Jesse fucking Flores. :-D

5: What part was hardest to write?

All the Australia bits. :-P

@lastwingedthing put in a good chunk of work on this story, correcting language and helping me with geographically appropriate choices for stuff. (That olive tree in the first section began life as a prickly pear, which is invasive in Australia – I wanted an invasive plant for thematic reasons – but it’s invasive in a different part of Australia.) However, the challenge with writing something that will later be Ozpicked (or Britpicked, or whatever) is that it’s not enough to eschew Americanisms in your draft, you have to put in geographically specific stuff, too, otherwise you’ll end up with a bland and non-specific story. And while a generous Ozpicker can and will help with that, you can’t expect them to do the bulk of that work for you.

For an example of what I’m talking about, consider my own The Case of the Six Marmalades against @scfrankles’ The Case of the Deceased Marmalade Thief: they’re nicely matched in terms of fandom, genre, and topic, and I consider Frankles a peer in terms of our respective skill. But notice that Frankles’ use of idiom in her dialog is much, much richer than my own (in part because she really is just that good with voices), but also in part because she’s English, and has a much larger mental catalog of appropriate idiom to select from. In contrast, I’m forever rejecting language as “too American” and then finding I have nothing interesting to replace it with. Consequently, my dialog has a linguistic blandness to it that hers doesn’t. This is the kind of thing I see a lot with American vs. British authors in British fandoms: the British authors have a vibrancy to them that American authors seldom manage to attain.

And this isn’t to run myself down, or to suggest that Six Marmalades is a failure of a story. (It’s not.) It’s simply an illustration of how it is with stories written by outsiders: even if they manage to eschew errors and stereotypes, they often end up with a generic, non-specific blandness that’s difficult to overcome. *shrug emoji* Either you never write outside your own specific cultural context, or you accept that you won’t manage the vibrancy that your story deserves. Choose your poison.

Anyway, back to Rabbit: I had to come up with Australia-specific stuff to put in, but I was starting from near zero. I watched all the Australian post-apoc films I could stomach; I played Australian talk and comedy shows in the background while I did chores; I listened to a series of Australian podcasts for English-language-learners during my commutes; I spent a fuckton of time browsing anAustralian slang dictionary (where I learned more usage via the crowdsourced definitions than in the nominal terms being defined)… Just, trying to pick up idioms and usage and rhythms and words, both to reduce the load on my very generous Ozpicker, but also trying to make sure that when she was done removing my Americanisms, my language didn’t end up blandly generic nowhere. (If nothing else, I could give her possibly-wrong Australian slang that she could correct to something more appropriate, yeah? And she did a bit of that: “yobbos” became “sad bastards,” for example.) So the language was a fair amount of up front work, even with her polishing and fine-tuning it for me.

And getting the Australian bits right was more than just language, of course; there was the usual ton of googling random shit. Who runs public swimming pools, the history and composition of the Australian submarine service, what plants are invasive, imports/exports from Perth… Again, she corrected and fine-tuned a bunch of stuff (and sometimes pointed out issues that I hadn’t thought to question), but there was still a chunk of work involved in giving her something that could be corrected and fine-tuned.

I wanted to set Rabbit in Australia, a place that is distinct from America, and that ultimately was the hardest part of writing the story.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

At the time, it was my only fic set in Australia, my only go at action/suspense, my only 5+1, my only “heroine against the world, framedaround a strong central metaphor, ending when the showdown begins in earnest” kind of story structure. I’ve since repeated all of those things, because I wrote this a long time ago, and I’m as repetitive as fuck.

As to what makes it still unique among my stories…

Um…

It’s the only one with submarines in?

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

I grew up in a Navy town, outside a nuclear submarine base, and one of the members in my origfic writing group served on a submarine, back in the day. So all the submarine stuff is strongly influenced by my hometown, the kids whose parents were in the Navy, my own dad who worked for the Navy, my schoolmates who went into the Navy themselves, the submariner who I dated when I was faaaaar too young for him (and the shit my dad pulled to scare him off), the tours I’ve taken on out-of-service submarines, the time I’ve spent fucking around in boats while sharing the same waters as submarines, plus all the time I’ve spent editing my friend’s submarine novels based on his own service.

None of which is actually the same as actually serving on a submarine myself, of course, but there are a number of submarine details that were inspired by spending a chunk of my life submarine-adjacent.

(Navy showers! My father enforced Navy showers on us when we were kids. Although not the same way that they’re enforced in the actual Navy, because that would have been child abuse. But you know. You run across random shit in your life, and it eventually ends up in a fic.)