#this campaign and character ended almost 3 years ago and im still not over him and his warlock husband

[dilfsinlove]

some concepts of what would happen if my bard picked the Become Vampire route... very sexxy ngl i kinda regret choosing Life

[dragqueenpentheus]

Okay no one has to read this but i DO have to write it:

PYROC VS FATHER PAUL

Ya bitch needs an art break bc im getting angry about voices existing as i try to keep myself entertained. Today is NOT a god one for sinking into repetitive line work and that’s just about all i have on the table atm

SO! Im gunna do a little thinking about my little meow meows all fucked up by religion. Just a comparison for my sanity and interests. Pyroc is my baby i wrote him for the first time years ago. Five?????????? Whadda hell. Going on six.

ANYWAY john joined religion because of his trauma. His sister died and he felt lost. He was unmoored in this fishing village and looking for reason looking for hope. Hed had his heart broken and trying to make sense of tragedy on his own was totally beyond him. Thats why his interactions with riley in AA are SO good like. He knows that confusion and he knows the rhetoric that’s supposed to combat it. Only it dooesnt work for riley.

The same sort of thing happens for pyrc, only inverted. Loss urns him away from god and religion because its SO strong in his family and not only is he loosing trust in god, but his kin as well. He’s suspicious there’s mre they arent telling him, at the point of his fathers death. And he agrees to, on the surface, absolutely wholly throw himself in to being the second the family and the village need. But he’s keeping his treachery under wraps.

That’s one of the coolest things about father paul imo is like. That slow unraveling of what is. Frankly. An awful half assed plan, driven by fear and loneliness and desperation and dementia and love. Even VERY obvious things like. Taking down the newspaper photo of his young self ‘slip’ by him. I think, on some level, its DEEPLY intentional. He wants people to CHOOSE this. He wants people like bev. He wants people who see him and are in aw of him beating god. Of killing death. He wants to be worshiped and adored and for people to come to him willingly, no tragedy driving them to his arms.

Pyroc also wnats to be worshipped, but he ALSO wants to do the worshipping. He really longs for an element of almost????? But not quite??? Subjection?? He wants to be shown something and for a Great Voice to tell him, unquestioningly and unerringly that it is GOOD. Full stop. And then he wants to spend his life worshipping it. But this booko is an exploration of how….. no such thing exists. And more importantly no great voice exists either. There is nothing wholly good, nothing wholy evil. His lack of faith in himself once he becomes god is him starting to understand that as well. Thats on purpose baked into the lore. The starting point was ‘what if god was a position and in order to get promoted you had to be a murderer. No matter what’. He understands things are not wholly good, at that point. I onder how long it will be for him to realize they are not fully evil as well?

Bc pruitt does hm hm hm an interesting move. Where he takes something the narritve is very sure to communicate is EVIL no wiggle room just fact. Even if its driven by animal instinct its. Evil. And he makes it, not just good, but HOLY. And god i LOVEEEE that for him i ADOREEE that what a MOVE. Driven by desperation and dementia and relief and ‘if god saved me than maybe i can be good despite loving and sinning and maybe if i defeat god then i will be Thee Good’. SO sexy of him. Im really fascinated by his morality. He seems to have an understanding of the shades of grey in some respects??? But if he had a BETTER one with more forgiveness in his heart i feel like hed have left the church anyway after sarah was born??? Even if millie didnt ask him??? That might just be my own sensibilities creeping in but ….. like he culd have seen her on the weekends. He can do other jobs. Hes straight (??? Not totally convinced of this) he could have just dated her that makes me crazy. LIKE OBV HE HAD LINES HE THOUGHT THAT WOULD CROSS AND HE HAD INTERNALIZED THE CHURCH AND THE RULES AND SHE WAS MARRIED AND ECT ECT i know he couldnt have really but. Thye were straight. They coulda.

Im not gunna do fantasy homophobia bc i think its …………….. Boring. But i think some element of??? The vindlegaurd line MUST be passed along and for that particular rules must be applied. But thats also boring as hell :/ maybe i can work in my parthenogenesis lore?????????? I bet pyroc would love building that spell in any universe. That’s the sequal when he goes to magic university in helsin. But yeah i do like the concept that. Anyone can have a baby thru magic its just a time and energy commitment. Just a matter of wanting it enough together. Every baby is so deeply wanted and its mere existence is proof. Thats dope i love that. HMMM to be decided at a later date when im deeper into the story i think. I still havent figured out fully how and where and why orion is going to be invovled and if???? Pyroc and orion are even going to be romantic??????? Im torn im TORn…….

Thikns about john bonding w sarah over science and learning and starts wEEPING…. Like theres some surity beloved. Its just a matter of uncovering. I think sarah felt that same thirst for answers and hunted them differently. Her faith is in logic and science. I loveeee her god. Every scene w her and her dad absolutely RUIN me like!!!!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW LOVED SHE IS!!!!!! I hope at hte very end she saw the blood as the gesture of love it SO clearly was and not him trying to poison her. God i love that she spat it out. GOD. Thats about being gay, btw. Spits the religious offering that could save you across the gasoline soaked church floor like BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we as a collective should talk about the possibiites around sarah/erin more. Bc their defiance combined would be. Earth SHATTERING for crockett.

In the future pyroc gets a kid. Ever since that campaign where Enemy ended up playing his daughter im like. How did i NOT know this idiot wanted nothing more in the entire world than to travel it with his daughter. I dont care how or why hes getting a kid. Hed be so doting and awful abut it. He would need orion as a co-parent for the kids self esteem to be normal levels. thINKS ABOUT PAUL GETTING TO RAISE SARAH AND JUST ABSOLUTELY GASSING HER UPPPPPPPP HANGING EVERY DOODLE SHE EVER MADE ON TEH FRIDGE. BOASTING ABOUT HER SCEINECE PROJECT OT ANYONE WITHIN EYESIGHT EVEN THOUGH ‘WE K N O W JOHNWE WERE ALL AT THE SCEINCE FAIR’!!!!!!!!!!! Let these fuck ups be doting fathers im fucking begging. That scene where paul is like. You take ccare of everyone on the island sarah. Its more than being a doctor. You comfort them.

HM HM comfort is such a thing for Miss Bitch like!! He sees it as a Good Thing. He tries to bring it for riley by asking to hold the AA meetings on island ((also manipulation. Obvously also manipulation. I wouldnt have bene shocked if he was slipping the vampire blood into the coffee every meeting either. But thats just a theory. A game theory.)) ANYWAY he sees comfort as hly. The church gave it to him when he needed it. The angel gave it to him in the cave. Feeling safe and warm is HIGH on his list of priorities and what makes him hand over respect.

I think pyroc has lived a very comfortable life in SO many ways, but in none he. Activly recognizes. A key part of his character arc his him…. Opening his eyes to the world around them. Seeing the privilege he has and being like. Wait. This isnt Right. We have to change thi. And when no one agrees ti shifts to I have to change this. With Violence. A little revolutionary <3 it only costs the life of his whole ass family

Thats more fun comparison ground like…… paul is SO much about I know whats right and there is a cost but i AM ignoring it. Like HE KNOOOOWSSSS he knooooows he just doesnt want o See. I’m not sure if im going to surprise yroc with the ……megadeath of. His whole family. Or if it’s a choice he has to activly make. I think a choice makes it more compelling, more layerd. It has to be in the moment though, becaus ei think thats. A key difference between them. Pyroc wouldnt do it.. hed just leave hed peace out and do what he could in small ways. But he wouldnt do his big stand off with god. Hed shrink his goals in order to not hurt his family. Out of love?? Intimidation?? Some instinct wihtin him that balks at the idea of disobedience??? I think even he doesnt know. But i LOVE john becaue he jsut decides to lie. He closes his eyes and says i am being stupid on purpose. I think thats PERHAPS more compelling than good guy coward pyroc BUT!!!!! Thats who he is rip to ths little man. Cant change him now hes a whole ass child in my head. The PLOT i can change. Him….. not without massive character development <3

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MM set my brain on FIRE!!!! Im so glad nano is coming up. I love sharpening pyroc against the comparison of other AMAZING characters. Father paul hill my beloved millstone <3 anyway sorry to anyone who reads this its literally me unhinging my jaw and emptying my brain out. I had to write stuff that wasn’t novel or fic. A little character time down and dirty. I wil NOT be editing this love and light to future me trying to decode this

[ace-apple]

cbuUgw

(chumlochcaight so since i recently made a new ref for her CHORAN MASTERPOST (aka infodumping on my fave oc)

ALL HER INFO UNDER THE CUT (its really fucking long!!)

Part 1: Lochainin

aight so first off ill need to explain lochainin

(the lochainin campaign is set in the year 1987 in michigan (well when they’re not in lochainin) btw!)

choran is actually a dnd character of mine in a campain called lochainin im doing with a couple friends

and this is a group pic of all the player characters i made a while back! ill summarize them from left to right (pls remember that only choran is mine!!)

quinn- 11 yrs old, he/him, jewish, has an affinity for moss and pretty much lives in the woods. druid

hans- 10 years old, he/him, german, loves frogs and is all around baby. druid

emerson- 10 years old, she/her, german, hans’ twin sister. more levelheaded. barbarian (both hans and emerson are technically npcs now, since the person who played the two of them left the campaign) 

choran: 15 years old, she/her, caucasian, chaotic bastard. rogue

delilah- 15 years old, she/her, jersy-italian, her parents have ties to the mafia, choran’s girlfriend, jersey accent. monk

aight so here’s the story/lore

lochainin is an alternate dimension that humans sometimes fall into through puddles. the gang (shown above) jumps in a puddle and falls down into Lochainin. lochainin is a very swamp-like place, but also has other terrain such as forests and caverns. lochainin is inhabited by humanoid frogs and toads (called losgann and buaf/buof respectively), they have human intelligence, posture, and speech capabilities, but some things like modern medicine are foreign to them. 

now there’s this Empire we barely know jack shit about but it exists and most of the humans that fall down end up with the Empire. currently in this campaign all we know is that a lot of people dont like the empire. we just know the empire exists

aight here are the npcs (that i can remember lol) 

- Crecil (losgann, he/him, tavern worker, party found him in a sewer not long after falling into lochainin)

-Ugma (buof, she/her, captain of the local guard in one of the villages)

-Zax (buof, they/them, good at navigating, at the time of writing this we’re going with him to the north to look for dryads cause they might know the way back home)

-Iris (buof, witch in t’og swamp who gives quinn and hans a weird potion that essentially takes them on an acid trip where they both get their druid levels)

locations: T’og swamp- village the party comes across after finding Crecil, has a tavern, local guard (Ugma is the captain) that is pretty much all volunteer work (choran joins up with them for a day at one point), and a market.

Crystal path- cavern with lots of crystals. they have fiberglass like shards when you lick them (we know this because choran licked one of the rocks). has large crystal beetles who’s blood can be cooked for good nutrition.

Part 2: Story

this is just a summary of the stuff that has happened in the campaign so far (as of writing this) (might not be accurate since none of us took any fucking notes lol)

they fall into a puddle and end up in lochainin. choran finds a human skull in a sewer and decides to keep it. they fight a strange acid spitting monster that almost killed choran by getting acid on her arm (that’s where her arm scar is from!) they find crecil in a cage but had found a key earlier. choran takes an axe out of a block of wood they found in a dead end.

they show up at t’og swamp and stay at the tavern. at one point choran gets drunk off of a substance known as death cap ale (death cap being a type of mushroom). we still have no idea if that was poisonous or not. 

uhhh a lot of stuff i dont remember cause it was a while ago and i spaced out a bunch

eventually they come across some tower place i also dont remember why we were there. a couple of losgann were fighting each other, eventually they notice us after one of the party members failed a sneak roll, we fought them but choran killed one of them after getting stabbed in the ankle (she sliced their neck with an axe). since their death was completely unnecessary nobody is very happy with choran for doing this. delilah is especially unhappy with her girlfriend for commiting homicide.

 fasldkjfasolfjasdo;lf and now theyre in the crystal path with zax going to look for the dryads since they might know a way for the party to get out of the place.

Part 3: Choran

oh hey now we finally get to my girl!!! might as well start with the basics of a dnd character: stats and shit

Strength: 13 Dexterity: 17  Constitution: 13  Intelligence: 13  Wisdom: 13  Charisma: 17

(yeah my stat rolls were really crazy)

Alighment: Chaotic Neutral

Race: Human (all of the party is!)

Class: Rogue

unfortunately, i don’t have my character sheet and i dont have it listed elsewhere so i dont remember any of my proficiencies or most of my items, but i do know she has a human skull on her that she found in the sewer they found crecil in

she’s a bit of a wild child, rebellious teen phase is turned up to 11 with her. she got a tattoo that may or may not have been legally obtained (the warning symbol on her right shoulder). her and delilah have been banned from their local cvs pharmacy. 

now for backstory, and hoo boy.

alright so choran was born to two rich parents who were very strict about her life. textbook helicopter parenthood and then some, really. they didn’t let her make friends, enrolled her in a private school (the kind with uniforms and shit, not the kind too poor for a janitor like my private school). they often told her exactly how to behave, with their own words contradicting themselves! (aka one time theyll tell her to speak up and another time theyll tell her to be quiet). she felt like her parents could never make up their minds about what they wanted her to be.  Eventually in 5th grade they let her go to a public school, but still forced her to wear skirts and proper clothes and not really express herself. By the end of 6th grade her parents sent her to live with her aunt on the other side of town, despite having always called her a “bad influence”. turns out that bad influence was actually being a decent human being to choran, letting her actually have friends over, go to parks, choose her own clothes, etc. in middle school she met delilah and quinn, and eventually through delilah she met the german twins.  her original name wasnt actually choran by the way! her full legal name is Lalia Ouroban, but since she moved and got her own life away from her parents she decided to go by Choran. the only member of the party to know her real name is Delilah. and then in 8th grade choran and delilah started dating and then the lochainin events happened!

[readbythestarlight]

c2e36

So this will be 10 episodes since the one where we lost Molly. Just throwing that out there.

Also it’s apparently my 9 (NEIN) month anniversary for being subbed to G&S which means it’s also my 9 month anniversary for watching CR and also the show has been going for 9 months as of the 11th so. That’s cool.

I like that jacket, Sam.

Broadway advert lol

“Andrew Loyd Website”

“I could have backed up all night” and “I’ve grown accustomed to her encryption” I’m dead

Okay that was hands down Sam’s best ad he’s so goddamn creative

NEW YORK NEW YORK I’m so excited I loved the last live show

A SLEEVES ARE BULLSHIT SHIRT?!

I need it

Oh wait it doesn’t actually say sleeves are bullshit

I still love the shirt tho and I want one

And the bumper sticker

“It makes it sound bad when you say it like that” guys it WAS bad xD

Poor Caduceus is having an Experience

Cad: “You keep leaving”

Y: “They keep finding me”

Cad: “I think you might have the right idea”

THE FUCK? NO

guys you need to convince Caduceus to sTAY

HE’S ALIVE?!

HE HAS AN AXE IN HIS HEAD

Oh no don’t get Cad he’s sad and tired right now

I mean y’all almost left him behind which was crummy

Caleb really wanted to yank that axe out

Also how does healing work? Like does the guy have permanent brain damage in the are where the axe wrecked now? If it had hit somewhere vital to like, say, memory, would his memory be gone? Enquiring minds want to know.

When Caleb tries to be intimidating it both makes me laugh but also freaks me out a little

I LOVE when Matt has cool props

So does Travis lol

J: “Have you heard of THE Traveler”

Galen: “….Oh no not another one”

Nott and Jester building up Galen like “no no you’re totally special!!!”

“Missed all the major organs” sAM xD

“The Mist…ake” I’m crying

lol promoting this guy to first mate I’m crying

“We got a new pet!”

“Let’s call him Professor Thadeus the second!”

They forgot they had someone tied to the mast too what nerds

They cut up his nice shirt xD

I adore that Travis has totally got the islands and shit memorized so he can be super in-character

Also Cad is being too quiet it’s making me sad

Caleb The Navigator

Captain Fjord

First Mate Galen

Oh oh oh they should have a guest to come aboard and sail with them

Oh noooo they left the magic invisible cart

YES THANK YOU MATT y’all need to talk to Caduceus thank you Matt for pointing out that poor Taliesin has been silent for 30 minutes

Oh no have they somehow fucked over Cad’s mission?

I’m curious about this. Because obviously Taliesin knew this was exactly how the M9 were, so I can’t believe that he would have made Cad to be wholly incompatible with them.

He’s feeling really low and lost I think it’s time for a group hug

Him almost dying really freaked him out (and I think it really freaked Taliesin out too)

I’M HAVING A LOT OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW WITH JESTER AND CADUCEUS YOU GUYS

Caduceus is the ship’s cook

Mmm Beau is starting to feel like Caleb is trying too hard to excuse the bad things they do

I think the dock thing was a disaster for sure but I don’t think it was necessarily that they REALLY did anything wrong?

I’m not sure what exactly Beau is feeling bad about? Like freeing the genie wasn’t wrong, the boat thing was a mistake built on bad choice but it wasn’t them being inherently bad, and they didn’t kill Algar, so?

Ah, she’s feeling like she didn’t leave Nicodranus better than she found it

I like this whole “why didn’t we try to talk it out first” thing because it’s nice that two of them are having some moral conflicts. I also like what it says about Fjord and Beau as far as character development.

I mean I don’t think boiling it down to “like we were justified in our actions” really covers what Caleb said. He did say they could have handled things a lot better, but that they did what they had to to survive a situation they could have but didn’t handle better.

“I don’t want to drive you guys away” BEAUUUU my heart

Yasha staring off south “looking for a storm”

Caduceus cooking for the group is literally just my favorite thing. They totally needed a group member who could like make them slow down and eat and just like… take care of themselves, even just for the length of the meal.

Beau went from “I’m sorry for killing these guys” to “fuck those guys they’re dead anyway let’s smear their name”

We should not split up

There’s no way any of this could go wrong

Awwww Caleb showing Nott the stars and planets so sweet

SEE Caleb understands that things went horribly wrong. I honestly think he’s just trying to keep their spirits’ up.

Nott honey you don’t have to be okay with him using suggestion, I understand you both admire and need him but you can be mad at him

“Nott is a one-earther”

Have I mentioned how much I love Caduceus?

Fjord’s just like “please tell me you mean you talk to alive grieving people and not the dead people”

Oh no

They’re coming for them

You should NOT go back

Sam is like “why the fuck are we going back” and I agree so hard

Fjord should not stay on the ship Nott is right

N: “Oh, oh, what other languages do you speak?!”

J: “I speak Infernal”

Everyone cracks up

Oh this is going to be another disaster

Although I guess the guard guys wouldn’t be expecting them to immediately come back?? Maybe??

“YOU’RE THE SAILOR GUY THIS IS YOUR WHOLE EPISODE” lol sam

“I’m gonna bake, fuck it” I LOVE CAD

“I look like Captain Crunch btw” I’m crying can’t breathe omg

Except isn’t the captain dead lol

“Unknown do-gooders” well that wasn’t the reputation I expected

UH HEY I HOPE MARION DIDN’T HEAR ABOUT THE BLUE SKINNED TIEFLING KILLING HERSELF

These lies are getting more and more ridiculous

“The little devil girl who drowned a hundred years ago” Taliesin and the idea of a ghost story is just… so perfect.

Beau stop xD

If this ghost story isn’t in campaign 3 someday I’m gonna cry

I’m so glad that Orli is coming along

They hired the tortle! :D

Nott is really being adorable with the “we are a team and you are important” thing. Obvious, but adorable.

Taliesin wanted ghost stories and now we’re getting islands people avoid because strange ancient unnatural stuff

Okay quick aside but this conversation with Yasha and Caduceus makes me think — I love how there’s this group of people who seemingly should have nothing in common, but in a lot of ways they have things they can understand about each other. Struggles they can related to. It’s really nice.

Jester and her multiple message spells lol

I’ll miss you Marion!

Oooo a glow in the water?

Awww Matt that’s really pretty!

“Sometimes the things that are the most beautiful are the things that can hurt you the worst” that’s very profound, Jester.

I’m gonna cry I don’t want Jester to be sad don’t be sad (Laura needs to stop looking like she’s gonna cry because it’s gonna make me cry)

And the way she does this little laugh like she’s trying to brush off how sad she is like STOP IT IM EMOTIONAL.

Marion was gonna leave with Jester’s dad but then he didn’t come back and I’m thinking at some point they had better kick the Gentleman’s ass for abandoning her

The way Fjord is so sweet and soft with Jester is so cute I can’t decide if I ship them or if I just want them to be soft and close but not romantic I think I’d be happy either way but my god Fjord’s being so gentle with her is killing me

“There are vegetarian options as well”

Marius: “Thank you, thank you, it’s very good—they’re crazy aren’t they?”

Cad: “Oh yeah, they’re completely crazy.”

I desperately hope they get attacked by a sea monster at some point

“Captain Tusktooth”

Tiny elf-owl Frumpkin omg

He’s loaning her tiny owl Frumpkin for a week I cry

M: “I poke him to see if he bites me”

Tr: “He’s dead”

“I’m gonna probably start talking to fish at some point in the near future” Caduceus Doolittle

When Nott is sincere like when she’s talking to Caduceus right now is so sweet

I take it back it’s too soon to talk about Molly Sam

“Between you and me, Jester’s a really bad cleric, so…” and Laura almost spits out her drink lol

I want to meet the rest of the Clays someday I hope some of them are still alive

“A sign that there could be, for all of us, another chapter” Nott is getting me in my feelings tonight

Matt: “You get the sense that the fish would be happy to”

Cad/Tal: “I’m a lunatic aren’t I?”

M: “Yeah.”

C/T: “I’m sorry.”

M: “Yeah, no, it’s great! :D”

The fish: “sure, sure, suresuresuresure sure”

Oh godddd sky monster?

Bird?

WHAT IS IT

“Professor Thadeus…?”

Oh. Fuck. Creepy flying humanoid thing.

lol Beau making sure it’s not Yasha

Oh jeez poor Yasha

…Okay Matt that wasn’t cool because it’s past midnight and the windows are open and I’m feeling weirdly paranoid now

HERE WE GO

Harpies omggggg

Caleb’s really not gonna be able to use fire for this without risking the ship

Oh fuck don’t get the deck hands

Okay the sail isn’t that big a deal Jester can probably mend it, so save the deck hand first

Harpies are not sirens that shouldn’t be allowed to do anything

Oh poor Nott

SAVE THE CREW PERSON FIRST BEAU

I love Cad’s beetles

“Snack time” Cad you’re so creepy sometimes xD

15pts of beetle damage hell yeah

Okay I take it back Beau might have done the best thing saving the sail.

Okay this is too easy of a fight tho what’s coming that’s worse

Oh daaaaamn snapped her neck with the sail rope

Caleb Nott this isn’t nice xD

“We saved his life with the power of friendship” I’m crying

F: “How do we prevent further heart episodes?”

N: “MORE FRIENDSHP. MORE FRIENDSHIP.”

Awkward friend hugs are best hugs

Nott please don’t eat harpy meat

Cad’s gonna compost the harpy

Beau is keeping Frumpkin in her pocket of course she is

Poor Travis just like “I DIDN’T KNOW ID ACTUALLY HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO CAPTAIN A SHIP” poor guy

Oh god the ship is gonna sink

They’re gonna end up stranded on the cursed island just watch

Gonna try and block the hole…. with a mattress

I’m shocked they managed to patch it bless Galen for that Nat20

Caleb being clever to save the ship with his magic bubble

I hope they don’t get Orli killed

They gonna get sunk

Oh wait

Does Caleb have to stay inside the bubble?? I hope it doesn’t start to fill too much

YAAAAAS what a good episode!

SO MUCH SAILING PIRATE-Y FUN

Oh please wear pirate outfits I’m begging

I’m so excited for next week

[crowsinx]

D&D, the joys and hardship

So, I’ve been playing dnd (DnD, D&D, however you all prefer) for quite a while now. I started as a player with a group of uni friends, and that campaign continues to this day. My baby boy Lawz the Levictus Tiefling has come so far and I am so proud of him, and years into this campaign we still haven't reached level 10!

At the start of this year, I started DM’ing (or GM’ing depending your preference) for a group of some of the most amazing people to enter my life. Now while most of my sessions as a player have been in person, these games I run are fully online over discord as we all come from different places in the world (Im Australian, my players come from 3 different countries and none my own haha) and first of all, managing times took some work. These were all first time dnd players, and the moment they shared interest in trying dnd, my heart almost leapt out of my chest. This was my chance to give the gift I had received years ago, introducing people to something that is not just a game, but a personal experience that helps you escape into a world of endless imagination and beauty.

Now first of all, I am in no way a perfect DM. I make mistakes, I fluster, and take time getting resources. Hell it took me months before I started using musical tracks for ambiance and engagement. I also forgot some details or have to rush improv on the spot, I am very much still learning, but I try. Was I nervous when I first started DM’ing? Well I didnt sleep at all the night before and cried after the session so you tell me haha. Am I nervous now 8 months later? Yes extremely, I still constantly worry if my players are having fun, if I need to change things up, if I take something too far or not far enough, every single session is stress and madness to my mind. Would I quit if I could? No chance in hell.

You see yes it is stressful, and yes i am self conscious as heck, but hearing these friends have such a great time together, seeing their progression as players and the development of their characters, the genuine emotions that come through during games, I would go through all this 1000 times over and never have a regret. Its hard, but its also super fun and very rewarding. I literally have 5 notebooks filled with ideas, content plans for the future of the campaign, character ideas and more. and its not homework to me, its a pleasure to express my creativity for people who appreciate the experience of it.

DnD is one of the most important things in my life, hell I now have a DnD tattoo (admittedly also Critical Role but still). It is my escape at the end of a hard week. Every single friday morning I DM for 5-6 hours, then take an hour long class right after. Every second friday I also then have a game I am a player in (the original campaign mentioned with my boy Lawz) and that is an hour after my class, so on those weeks it goes from 6 hours of dnd to roughly 10-11 hours throughout a single day haha. I get to escape this mad world we live in, and dive into a world of fantastic creatures, wondrous magic, organizations and beings from other realms, and just be free. It is the mental and emotional release I need every week, and has brought me closer to some of the greatest people in my life. To those of you thinking of trying sometime, you will never regret it, every game and every group is unique, but find the right ones and it’ll be something you carry with you for life

[hdawg1995]

a DM vents about her current player problems

tl;dr a player’s cleric hated god, became god, the player said they would stop playing the character if they ever became more than a 3.5 “hero deity”, then became a demi god and is asking how to get god powers that he claimed he didn’t want.

i’ve had a 3.5 dungeons and dragons game going for nearing 3 years now. about half a year ago two players were added to the group since players kept falling in and out (but our wizard and knight have been consistent)- a assimar warlock and a human cleric.

now the cleric didn’t know 3.5. me and the wizard agreed to teach him how to play and how it worked. hes a fast learner and is way smarter than me (i have a mechanic where players can make spells since the books i limited us to didn’t have a lot of spells the magic users in the group found interesting and hes over here calculating speeds at MPH and distance in square foot and im over here like “so whats that in 5ft intravuls?”) so he catches on quick to some things, but still needs help later in the campaign (he thought since his cleric could pick between 3 domains that meant he had 3 domains and could switch between them at any time) but nothing too bad (turns out he never used the 3rd domain for anything other than skills he didn’t use). 

the warlock on the other hand is a expert in DnD. she knows almost all of the books and has every 2nd-5th edition on her two phones and laptop. she uses homebrew a lot and mixes rules up and does this thing where ask her what her warlock does and she just says the name of a spell/ability and i have to spend 3 minutes checking what spell/ability does- which often breaks out in arguments and rules lawyering in pms. 

at first this was fine: nothing major came of it in game and yea it was annoying but at the end of the day we all had fun... until we didn’t.

the cleric, trying to make his character strong enough to kill the warlock, became a god. now this is something me and the player had talked about and we both agreed would be after epic levels and when the game was over. however he continued to push and pressure the god path until he became a demi god. at this point i didn’t want to change my world again (the warlock has a sword that always hits touch ac and cuppled with her new smite ability and her eldritch ability thats basicly power attack AND her actual power attack feat many many many foes became far too easy to kill and that was hell and a half to fix) so i threw the character and the wizard into a scenario where the cleric would have to give up his diven rank and settle for being a hero deity. 

and then one day the cleric got mad at me and pressed for the god route again. me saying no would have been “i’m the DM and i said so” because he got a bunch of nat20s, was doing better than he did before, and other than me (and i thought him) not wanting his cleric to be a god there wasn’t any reason to deny it. I’m bad at saying no, i have been working on it, and i told him his character would get a devine rank again and i reminded him that he said he didn’t want it. his reasoning was the character “had nothing else to do”.

so because his character is a god, his character is “suppose” to get certain perks and abilites that gods have. i don’t want to give him these and i havn’t been subtle about that. be still presses for them and has asked how to get them. He isn’t going to get them and when i’ve explained that his reasoning was “the abilites can be obtained normally, i’ve done the math and anyone could get the divine abilities anyway.” so now i’m worried hes going to circumvent me to get the god abilites. i’m worried if i give this player anything at all he will turn it into god powers. and i know he’ll say “i won’t use it for [thing]” and will just use it anyway. the character developed a fighting style created to fight hordes of enemies. so he uses it to fight one on one and deal 3000 damage to one enemy instead of the 40+ the technique is made for.

and the only thing i can think of in times like this is “i really wish we didn’t do epic levels.”