#this came to me in a dream last night so i had to act fast i don't care if it's outdated sue me

[oneluckydragon]

Literally obsessed with the dynamic the pmd fandom has assigned these three. Unhinged polycule energy.

[gingerteawrites]

Undeserving - Where the shadow of the past looms over Diluc’s present

A/N: I'm baaaaaack. This one has been in the works for a minute, and has taken on many different forms, but here I grace you with a work about my OG Genshin husband. Please enjoy and let me know what you think! Not beta read

Content: ANGSTTTT, Husband Diluc, relationship troubles.

Word count: 1.5K

Diluc Ragvindr had convinced himself that the last thing he wanted on this earth was to start a family. The tale of his own being torn apart would never not be a sore wound, one that incessantly throbbed, one that he believed would never heal.

The idea of being ripped away from any sort of attachment was repulsive, as was the possibility of growing estranged from loved ones. Familial bonds were simply too sensitive of a topic. Too painful of an ache.

You on the other hand, had always dreamed of the wonders of marriage. Of a sacred contract of love and care. And after years of timid courting, Diluc did what he thought would never be possible. He gave into the new, selfish desires of your company. Of an attachment to you. Of what he could be WITH you.

Diluc got married to you, the love of his life. Something he felt was simultaneously the best and worse thing he could ever have done. It did not take too long for him to become consumed with dread of history repeating himself. The potential of all the failings of this new attachment loomed over him like shadows of the abyss.

While you enjoyed the newly-wed bliss, the joy of finally being united with your love. Your husband spiraled into more and more agitated thoughts. Yes, this union was something he had wanted. So badly it kept him awake at night. He had wanted to have you for himself. And him for you. But everything he kept inside him created a dangerous brew of dark thoughts that now made him restless.

He tried to hide this all from you. Oh how ashamed he felt. Staying at Angel’s share a little longer than usual, leaving the house before you woke up for sparring exercises, coming up with things to do when you tried to bring him lunch as a surprise.

It all came as a shock to your system. You had always known that Diluc was not openly affectionate, but he had never truly avoided you. Your romance was one of timid touches and whispered sweet words, of acts of service and long evening walks, but never of hiding and silence. It drove you mad.

You tried to be the bigger person and give him space. Afterall, you knew — if only partly— of his family’s woes and him not being used to have someone so close. But after weeks of this game of hide and seek, you had had enough.

One Friday night, with your own spiralling thoughts, you ordered all the house servants to take the weekend off, and waited for Diluc, resolve hard as steel to get through this issue.

When he silently cracked the door open, he jumped at the sight of you, gaze fixed on him with your arms crossed, a single candle on the nightstand illuminating your face.

“Hey,” he greeted quietly, closing the door before he started to take off his coat.

“Hey,” you responded, lips pursed as you watched him. These were the first words you had exchanged all week.

He almsot felt small under your gaze, taking off his outer garments and gloves which he set on his dresser and turned to face you with a sigh.

“I’m sorry I’ve been quite busy recently,” he tried to appease you, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I am exhausted, shall we sleep?”

Your brows furrowed in exasperation, and you unfolded your arms.

“Not so fast Diluc.” He froze at your tone, sharp, cutting through the dry air. “Is that truly all you wish to say?” You asked, feeling yourself growing shaky with all the contained emotions. Confusion. Anger. Fear.

“What…” he turned fully towards you “What do you mean?” he asked hesitantly.

You took in a shaky breath, closing your eyes to calm your nerves. When you reopened them, you noticed your husband’s slightly hunched position, his bangs falling over his eyes. That hair that always reminded you of a warm hearth. Something to grow fond of, now looked dull in the pale candelight. And the sight made your heart ache.

“Diluc please don’t play dumb with me. What is going on?” You ask, leaning towards him “You’re avoiding me.” The words leave a bitter taste in your mouth and your lip curls in distaste.

“Did I do something wrong?” You add after a pause, the sadness breaking through your tone.

“No, no, no, it’s nothing you have done.” He jumps in, guilt gripping at him hearing your pain. It was much easier to rationalize his behavior when all he saw was your sleeping form when he left in the mornings and came back late at night. But now faced with you awake, his chest felt unbelievably tight.

“Then what is it?” You ask, steadying your voice once again.

Diluc sighed, his fingers gripping the sheets beneath him. He then raises his head so his eyes can meet yours, the curtains of his hair falling away from his face, and you see the conflict in his eyes. The pain of something he is keeping locked away in his being.

“Please talk to me.” You whisper, covering his hand with yours.

“I…” he pauses, feeling ashamed of his thoughts. How could he even justify his actions to you. “Maybe… maybe us getting married was a mistake.”

The words pierce through you like a blade, and your entire body stiffens, mouth agape, eyes open wide. You feared your ears betrayed you. “What did you say?” you hear yourself ask.

His hand reached for yours, and you jerked away before he could reach you. His lips opened and closed multiple times, like he was trying to find words.

Recovering from the initial shock of his words, and all you felt was an overwhelming sense of anger bubble out of you. “Is there someone else?” You asked through gritted teeth. The possibility would absolutely obliterate you, but you had to know.

“No, I could never.” He rushed to say again. ”Then what is this about, Diluc!?” You almost yelled, chest heaving. You did not recognize the man standing before you.

“I…” he stammered again, brows downturned, biting his lower lip. “You just deserve someone better.” He spat out, his entire body tense. “You’re just too good for me. And I am sorry it took me until now to realize it. No.” He stopped himself. “I knew all along, but I was selfish.” He shook his head. “I just can’t make this work.” He sucked in a deep breath, his voice growing meek.

Your hands fall against the mattress, fully taking in his words. Words that did nothing to quell your anger, only adding more fuel to it.

“And who made that call?” You ask, loud voice resonating through the room. He looked up at you with wide eyes. “Who decided that huh?” You leaned towards him. “Not me.” You concluded bitterly.

“But.” He says, eyes locked with yours.

“But nothing, Diluc.” You punctuated, voice firm again. “I think you are deserving of me.” You point to yourself. “I love you Diluc. Do you not?”

“Of course I do.” He adds, closing the distance between you two, his fingers finding yours again. “I just don’t want this to end badly. I don’t want us to end badly.” He confesses.

“But don’t you think we’re worth the risk?” You ask, searching his eyes. “Don’t you think that our love is worth trying?” You emphasize.

He looks down at your linked fingers before his gaze returns to you. “I am a weak man. Weaker than I look, certainly. I’m scared of losing you.”

“So you decide to push me away?” You ask in disbelief, to which he stays silent. “Then I refuse to go. We are going to make this work, whether you believe you are strong enough for it or not.” You conclude.

Diluc looks at you, your eyes shining with determination and unshed tears. A testament to your own strenght. An announcement of his own weakness. How could he be Mondstat’s defender, working to uphold the foundation of his city if he could not work for you. The realization sunk into his stomach with a nauseating weight. He was chosing the easy way out. He was hurting you and himself because of fear.

“I am sorry.” He chokes out, pulling you into him, engulfing you in his warmth for a hug. “I really am not deserving of you.” He adds, his voice trembling as he buried his head into your neck.

“Just promise.” You wrap your arms around him “Promise you’ll try.”

He pulls away from you, his hands moving up to hold your cheeks, his eyes burning with new certainty, new determination. “I swear to you.” His thumbs move in circles against your skin, wiping away your tears that have started to fall. “I promise. I stake my life on this. On us.” And he brings his lips to yours to seal this commitment. The past was dark and seemed all-engulfing, but he would not let it overshadow this present with you.

Comment and reblogs are much appreciated :))

[totaly-obsessed]

can you do a millie bright x reader where it’s their wedding day and the whole team are there and it’s just really fluffy and cute:). love your writing so much

Tears of Joy

Millie Bright x reader request

-> Marrying the Love of your Life

-> sorry for the delay - I hope you like it!

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

After waiting and planning for months on end – maybe even your entire childhood, the day was finally here. You were getting married!

Sure many dreams from your childhood wedding plans came true, but you didn’t quite find a prince charming, more of a princess charming – your very own knight in shining armor, the one and only Millie Bright.

As soon as you hat met Millie all those years ago in a Social Media meeting for Chelsea, you knew that she was the one. But the gentle giant had been quite scared to come up and talk to you – so you had to take the first step.

While the blonde looked intimidating it only took speaking to her once to see that she really wasn’t – maybe more so on the pitch, but luckily you didn’t have to face her there.

Millie had blushed a deep red when you caught her arms as she frantically tried to leave the meeting room, something you had not expected.

“Hi Millie, would you like to go on a date with me?”

Of course, she knew who you were, the new head of media for the women’s branch of Chelsea and she had spent the last four meetings just staring at you.

While you had felt confident walking up to her, seeing her face contort into a frown and lines appear on her forehead changed your mind quickly and you removed your hand.

“Or not – sorry that was a stupid idea.”

She couldn’t pull you in a hug fast enough. Dear god. If she hugged you like this, you never want to hug another person.

“I wanted to act cool and act like I wasn’t sure… But I would love to!”

To this day Millie and you could laugh about how much more stressful it had been than it needed if she had just said yes immediately.

---

 ---

While you had taken the first step to dating, Millie had been the one to ask the big question. She had just come home, even though she had been at home the entire time, from winning the Euros – and emotions were at an all-time high. Your girlfriend was now officially the champion of Europe.

You had been the first person she had seen out of the stands, her parents pushing you forward when you wanted to let them go first, after all, she was their daughter. “Don’t be silly love!” Had been what her mother said once she saw the blonde making her way towards the barriers.

“I did it, Baby! I fucking did it!” She was in tears, face still hot from running on the pitch for such a long time as she pulled you into a passionate kiss, not caring the slightest about all the cameras.

“You did so well my love! I am so proud of you!”

She would never forget the look on your face – she had never seen you look so proud of anybody, and now you looked at her like this. Her heart? Melted into a puddle.

Your girlfriend didn’t wait for long, lifting you over the barrier and pulling you as close to her as she could.

“My god Mills, leave some for me!” It was Rachel who finally pulled her sweaty best friend off you, just to replace her, giving you a bone-crushing hug.

“Off Rach! That’s my girl! Get ya own!”

The ‘DalyBrightness’ duo had always playful banter between them, and you were no stranger to it either, often getting roped into it somehow by Rachel, determined to get Millie angry – but the taller one of the two could only laugh about it every time.

The whole evening and night was spent partying, first in the dressing rooms, then in a chosen location with friends and family. Trafalgar Square was the next destination, where the girls would meet the nation they had made so incredibly proud, just the evening before.

After all the meetings and interviews had finally calmed down, you got your girlfriend back. Millie had finally arrived at home, in your shared south London house and the first thing she saw was your dogs Hera and Zeus. But upon lifting her head, the defender saw that they flanked both of your sides, while you held a beautiful ‘Welcome Home’ cake in your hands.

She couldn’t kiss you fast enough after seeing your nice gesture and cute smile.

“I love you much my love, and I don’t think I tell you enough. But I really do.”

The first thing you did after not seeing each other for such a long time, was napping. In the big bed, ready to sleep the day away. What you didn’t know, was that Millie woke up way before you and found herself staring at a beautiful ring in a little box.

Today was the day.

After making dinner she had asked you. She didn’t go down on her knees, so she pulled out a box, opened it, and just sat there for a second until you finally turned and noticed the ring.

“Mills?”

“Marry me?”

Choked up on tears you couldn’t do anything but nod. “Yeah, baby. I’ll marry you.” The kiss that followed tasted like tears, tears of utter joy as Zeus and Hers ran through the room yapping as if they knew what had just happened.

---

 ---

The day was finally here. Yours and Millie's wedding day. In retrospect you could not have chosen a better day, even if you obviously had not known how the weather would be – it was perfect.

Getting ready was a long process, not even physically, but rather mentally. But there was not a single doubt in your mind, that you would marry the love of your life.

You were ready when a knock sounded at the door and your sister who at the same time was your maid of honor opened it. The door was only open a smidge so you couldn’t really see who was behind it, while you talked to your bridesmaids.

“It’s go-time people!”

Your heart fluttered. But you were not nervous or anxious, no. You were excited and nearly ran out of the room with the bridesmaids to get to the altar, but your sister stopped you in your tracks, insisting that you had to wait somewhere else until the rest of the wedding party walked down the aisle.

Now stood in a room you waited for your sign. Fuck. Now the nerves were coming up. In your head, you went through the plan again, when you heard someone clear their throat.

It was Millie. There she was, dressed in a gorgeous white jumpsuit – looking at you like you hung the moon. “Baby! “You cannot see me in my dress before the wedding!”

Tears brimmed in both your eyes as you stared at your fiancé who couldn’t keep standing there any longer, so with brisk steps the blonde rushed forward and engulfed you in one of your favorite hugs. Your hearts find each other and beat in unison.

“How are ya feelin?” She rested her forehead on yours while staring at you as long as she could. “Nervous. Excited. Incredibly happy.“

The music inside was slowly getting quieter and you knew that you didn’t have that much time left. “I thought we could change the plan a little.”

Turns out Millie's idea was brilliant. Instead of just you walking in, both of you walked in together, no one would give anyone away. This would be a union of love between you and her, but that didn’t mean that either of you had to say goodbye to your family.

You could hear the gasps as you walked down the aisle, arms hooked together, each of you a flower bouquet in hand, the biggest smiles anyone had ever seen on your faces. You looked magical.

---

 ---

In the end, you don’t even know how you got through the vows, all you remember were a lot of tears, and an incredibly passionate kiss that was met with screams of joy from the audience.

After all of your families had congratulated the both of you, your Club mates made their way towards you each of them with big smiles on their faces.

Niamh was the first at your side and was the first to pull you into a warm hug. “You look like a princess. But one of those badass ones, that doesn’t need a white knight to save them.”

“I will need a cheaper ring for daily use, this one belongs in a bank in a safe deposit box.” Millie's joke was met with a lot of laughter as Sam came over and after hugging you as well, took a closer look at your ring. “Maybe! That is a fucking rock Mills!”

„You’re one to talk.“ Hempo received a  slight nudge from her captain while everyone else laughed along.

One after the other Chelsea and Lioness teammates alike made their way through the masses, hugging you with congratulatory tones and singing praises. Most of them even brought presents which they gave your sister for safekeeping.

“I can finally call you my wife.” Millie had stolen you away from the open space for a second and pulled you close for a deep kiss.

“My wife, huh? That has a nice ring to it.”

Not only were you her wife now, but she was also yours. Married. Oh dear god, you were finally married to the girl of your dreams. “Best day of my life.”

“Then I am excited to give you better ones.”

“God. you disgust me.” Neither of you had seen Rachel invade the nice little space Millie and you had created for the two of you

“Rachel!”

[bigbadvoxbox]

Would you be okay with doing a Adam x Fem reader? I need more possessive sex from Adam I can't help it

absolutely yes

warnings: nsfw. possessive sex. unprotected sex too, and he cums inside. we hate the drummer too.

- Adam loved his fangirls. He knew he fuckin rocked, but it was still so fuckin hot to hear them tell him that he rocked.

- You were his favourite fangirl in particular, always cheering him on, in your cute little homemade tees with his logo on.

- He hadn't yet had the chance to whisk you away backstage and show you something that he's even more skilled at than guitar. But he figured you'd wait for him, like the adoring little fangirl you are.

- That was, until he saw his band's drummer gettin all close n touchy with you at a meet n greet. Of course it was the fucking drummer, that fuckin dick. He couldn't help but feel a bit pissed. Of all the fans, he had to go and choose you? No! You were Adam's number one fan!

- That was when his brilliant, genius, amazing idea came to mind. He yanked a microphone from whoever the fuck, he didn't care,

"Announcement everyone! I have a fuckin' announcement to make so listen up! I'm gonna choose a toootally random person here today, and you get to spend the day with me! Fuckin' Adam!"

- It was not random at all.

- He immediately chose you.

- Fuck you drummer, whatever the fuck your name is.

- You were absolutely ecstatic. Sure the drummer was cool, but Adam? He was your dream guy. You found him so awesome, and jumped at the chance to spend some time with him.

- 'That's my girl. You fucking know who's best.' he couldn't help but think to himself.

- You spent the day at his place listening to him play guitar, and tell you allll about how awesome band life was, and just how awesome Adam was in general, to which you agreed.

- You briefly mentioned your encounter with the drummer, explaining how he had offered to take you out some time. Adam couldn't allow that, you were his girl!

- He needed to act fast.

- "Y'know Babe, I saw those cute little t-shirts you made for our last gig. I especially loved the ones with my logo on 'em." he started, before his voice quietened, "And I bet... if I were to take a little look under this jacket of yours... I'd see that tshirt, wouldn't I?" he asked, a knowing smirk on his face.

- Your face turned red with embarrassment. How did he know? You unzipped your jacket, showing off the homemade tee you wore, his logo proud and bold in the centre of your chest.

- "I fuckin' knew it." his grin was smug as fuck.

- He started off with a few light touches, grazing your thighs, moving upwards to your waist. "Y'know... you got a pretty nice pair on ya." he'd say, his eyes roaming over your chest for a moment.

- Before long, you had returned his gentle touches, which turned very quickly into a heated makeout session. You just couldn't resist him. (and I can't blame you)

- The kisses escalated into his hands groping at your chest while you clung to his shoulders.

- "You ready to have the best fuckin' night of your life?"

- As he got closer and touchier, he noticed a little bracelet around your wrist. A gift from the drummer in a pathetic attempt to convert you to a whatever-the-fuck-their-name-is-fangirl. He can feel his eye twitch slightly.

- "Let's just get this off." he says as he removes the bracelet. "You don't fuckin' need shit from that asshole. You got me, right?"

- When you both get to the main event, he is so fucking eager to touch you everywhere, get his hands on you and make you his, his girl.

- Hovers over you on the couch, not even knowing where to start. He needs you now.

- Soon enough, whatever pants or skirt you were wearing has been tossed across the room, underwear pulled to one side. But you're keeping that cute t-shirt of yours on. No fucking way is he missing out on fucking you while you wear that.

- He starts with his fingers, since he's gotta treat his pretty little fangirl right, doesn't he? Has you blushing and flustered and he thinks it's the cutest thing ever. He likes that only he will get to see that face.

- But once you're all prepared, his fingers now slick, he cannot wait to be inside you. And god his cock does not disappoint. He leans in, your foreheads almost pressed together. He loves the closeness, making that sweet blush spread across your face as he pushes his cock into you.

- That's when the fun starts, he starts off easy, since no doubt you're a cute little virgin who's been saving yourself for him. But while he starts off gentle and... almost romantic, that image of the drummer gettin too close with you flashes in his mind, and then his hips start to move faster.

- He's now grabbed you by the hips, moving your body in time with his thrusts, to push him even deeper, driving you absolutely wild. Your moans echo off the walls, and he revels in it.

- He can't help himself, and one hand slips under your homemade t-shirt to touch your tits again. What can he say? He loves a good pair of tits.

- The hickeys! My god, the hickeys. He leaves you covered. Everyone will know you are not up for grabs. He'll make sure of that. He's not quite used to feeling so possessive over someone, but you were special.

- It drives you crazy that he slows down, but his thrusts get deeper as he whispers filthy things into your ears. He has you twitching and panting beneath him, which in turn, drives him crazy.

- He then thinks of the perfect way to claim you as his.

- "You want my fucking cum?" he murmurs into your ear as you get closer and closer to cumming. You feel euphoric and dazed, nodding your head dumbly. He can't help but chuckle a little, proud at the state he's reduced you to.

- He makes sure all of it stays inside, keeping you plugged with his cock for a little bit, just letting you both stay in that position even after you've both came. You have another small makeout session as you both come down from it, and he just knows.

- You're always gonna be his girl.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

My favorite headcanon ever is that Steve is lying in bed, and he rolls over into a pair of comforting arms. He sighs, snuggling into a cool but rather comfy chest. Their skin a welcome presence against his warm cheek. Steve blinks rapidly. Wait a minute. He looks up to find Eddie sleeping in his bed.

"Eddie?! Didn't you die?!" Steve asked.

"Huh. . .? Oh, yeah, I got better. Go back to sleep, baby," Eddie said.

Steve stared at him for a minute before laying his head back down. Yeah, he had to be dreaming. It was such a nice dream. Steve curled a hand tightly around Eddie's hip and fell back asleep.

In the morning, Robin had biked over to Steve’s house, wondering why the hell her best friend wasn't answering his phone. She used her key and went in, lumbering up the stairs to Steve’s room. She opened the door to find him fast asleep, in the arms of Eddie Munson. Robin shrieked.

"Oh my God! Eddie, didn't you die?!" Robin exclaimed.

"Ugh, why does everyone keep asking me that?" Eddie asked.

"Maybe because you died?!" Robin yelled.

"Oh, yeah."

"Shit!" Steve yelled, finally waking up. "It wasn't a dream."

"Hi, baby," Eddie said, sweetly, as he cupped his face and gave him a kiss. "You want pancakes? I'm going to make us some pancakes."

He got out of bed and moved past Robin out the door. Robin looked at her friend, stunned.

"He just kissed you."

"Yeah, I was there."

"Have you - have you guys done that before?"

"Nope."

"Ah. Maybe he thinks this is a dream. Let's ask him," Robin said.

They wandered into the kitchen where Eddie was digging through his cabinets. Steve realized Eddie was wearing his old gym clothes and was now wearing one of his mother's clips to hold his hair up.

"Eddie? Do you think this is a dream?" Robin asked.

"No. . . Do you?" Eddie asked.

"You died, Eddie. Now you're standing in my kitchen acting like it's no big deal and then you kissed me! You kissed me, Eddie," Steve said.

"Shit. You have every right to punch me for that!" Eddie exclaimed and turned to face him, fully panicking. "I came back, man. I crawled out that hellhole myself, and I'm not sure how. . . I mean, I think I might be a vampire. Anyway, I got out of there and I all I could think about was you, Steve. That was my first thought. . . Well, not without wondering if Dustin was okay, though. I checked on him first, and then I came here to you. You were already asleep, and so I took a shower. Sorry, man, I borrowed your clothes. Anyway. I looked at you, and you looked so beautiful that I couldn't help but think about all the opportunities that I could have lost with you, and my only thought was how much I just wanted to sleep next him and hold him. You can totally hit me because I totally deserve it. I just didn't want to die again without knowing what it was like to kiss you," Eddie rambled on.

Steve moved towards him and cupped his face.

"Eddie, is it really you?" Steve asked.

"Yes."

Steve leaned forward and kissed him. Eddie whimpered against his mouth and melted into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Steve's neck, pulling him tightly against him. Steve picked him up and placed him on the counter, stepping in between his legs. Eddie wrapped his legs around him in a tight grip as Steve deepened the kiss.

"Are we just going to ignore the fact that he said he's a vampire? . . .Okay. Fine. I'm still here!" Robin exclaimed.

Suddenly, there came a pounding on the door, startling everyone. Dustin's voice floated through the door.

"Steve! I'm freaking out! Last night, I woke up, and I saw Eddie staring at me through my window! I assumed that I was dreaming, but I went outside this morning, and there were a set of footprints and his bandana, which I am sure we left with him in the Upside Down. . .Steve, I think Eddie might be alive!"

[msookyspooky]

Fours a Franchise

Part 14

wordcount: 7,332

TW: SA Mention but Doesn't Happen

☆

You got shoved into a dark corridor in the hallway as Billy had a firm grasp on you and Stu acted as a look out; actively shielding you both.

It all happened so fast. You didn't even get to chance to explain yourself!…One minute, you're waking up to Stu sneaking into your room. Your vision was so blurry you fell back to sleep thinking you were dreaming. The next, you were woken up again to Jill charging in and trying to choke you. Then the fight and Dewey and your body jumping in front of Billy as a last resort and the pain and…And…It was the most awful 10 to 15 minutes of your life and it happened in a blink of an eye.

You tried to weakly shove Billy off with a pained groan as you clutched your bleeding stomach. You were in pain, not thinking quickly and felt sick. “You shouldn't have dragged me out like that!” You weakly protested with a strained voice.

Billy shhed you to not get caught as a cop ran to where you all just came from; urgently speaking into his radio for backup.

He then glared at you. “...And get shot? Or better yet, all of us arrested?”

“No, it would've been just you two.” You grumbled weakly.

“You sure? Dewey didn't seem too understanding.” He asked, raising a brow. The silence of his words hung in the air. “...You made your choice, we made ours with what options we had. Now shut up.”

You went to protest but it died in your throat as the uneasy guilt ridden feeling of how Dewey looked at you plagued your mind.

You couldn't dwell as Stu motioned and Billy grabbed you to keep going.

You still felt like you would get caught. You almost wanted to just run to that hospital room again and let yourself be caught just to clear your name but you knew that was pointless. Jill had them convinced and there was no going back now.

You all followed the wall in the shadows as Stu and Billy guided you. Expertly avoiding cameras in the halls like it was their job. Knowing when to move and what halls to avoid while evading cops and hospital staff…All before Stu grabbed a woman who went to scream and he threatened her with the gun at her chin.

“Stu-” You gasped out in shock. Scared you were gonna see her brains splattered on the wall any second as Billy nudged you to be silent.

Stu smirked as his large hand covered the night nurses mouth. “Hey cutie, we're gonna need your keys.”

The terrified woman didn't hesitate to shakily give him her keys as he snatched them up. “Thanks, hotstuff.” Stu remarked with a grin before smacking her ass and shoving her away roughly.

The poor woman cried silently as she got shoved into the wall. Covering her mouth, slinking against the wall to the floor. She was just threatened with a gun to her face, her car stolen and technically sexually harassed in one go. You felt awful but it didn't last as Billy shoved you to move the best you could.

You were in their world now. You saw tid bits with how they talked or when hunting other Ghostface's but this was how they survived all these years. You almost regretted even saving them at this point. Almost.

You all rushed to the nearest exit and Stu cursed when it was locked. “Shit! News of escaping got out and now we're screwed. Damn it, man!”

Billy huffed and reached for the keys using the nurses keycard to unlock it and give Stu a judgmental glare.

“Oh…I knew that.” Stu sheepishly grinned, taking the keys and pushing it open. He scoffed at the eye roll Billy gave him, “Hey dickhead, circumstances and drugs. Cut me some slack here.”

As soon as they stepped out they plastered themselves and you against a wall to avoid cameras…And a cop car pulling in. Billy and Stu both grabbed you to hide behind a huge column as the police ran around the parking lot towards the elevator.

“Dingus's.” Stu snickered as he stood and helped you up. He started clicking buttons on the keychain in the parking garage. “Welp. Not this floor…Going down.”

You groaned in pain and exasperation as Billy helped you as you all snuck through parked cars. Your faces most likely on camera as Stu and all of you snuck yet tried to also act casual as a few people walked by from their parked car. You covered the blood on your gown as much as you could.

You were just along for the ride in your hospital clothes as you all followed the path to go down a level.

“We can't walk all 5 levels. Especially with us being hunted.” Billy harshly whispered.

“Got a better idea?” Stu argued back before his face lit up as a car beeped and its lights flashed as he pressed the button on the keychain. “Sweet Freedom, baby.” He mused with a grin as you all made your way over there.

Stu had a giant welt on his head and was struggling to move with so many bandages just like you and Billy. If not worse considering how many times he was shot; he definitely had some organs messed up and some broken ribs. He's lucky to be alive. Billy had a damn limp while clutching his stomach and you clutched yours with dried blood on your fingers. You all looked horrible and felt it too.

Stu went to drive and Billy snatched the keys, “You were shot the most and got beat in your cinder block head multiple times by a piss pan…I'm driving.”

Stu rolled his eyes but for once relented. “Fine with me. Just get us outta here.” As he urged you to the backseat, helping shut your door before getting in the front and you all drove out.

You knew cameras were catching you all and yet being able to sit in that car seat with tinted windows…You didn't care. A million things were running through your mind. What if you hadn't called Billy and Stu tonight? Would you have lived regardless? What if you never went to that barn to talk to them; would Randy be alive and your secret safe? What if you didn't save Billy tonight; would Dewey have believed you over Jill?...And could you have lived with the guilt of that after they saved you and they were dead or rotting in prison? So much happened in a 12 hour period. Too much to think about.

And…After Billy and you…Had that moment when you thought you were dying… What of it?

One word echoed in your mind. Mine.

You knew it was probably just his way of saying he was gonna kill you and no one else but why hold your hand? You're mine. Always have been. That's what he said to you. And whether you liked it or not, in your fearful moment, telling him the truth happened. You didn't hate him. In fact, in some fucked up way, you still cared about him. It was…It wasn't right. It was sick. But the truth nonetheless. He and Stu came back, risking their lives and secrecy to save you. And you saved his life for what? The second time? Technically, more like third or fourth counting all the other Ghostface incidents.

Billy caught your gaze in the rearview mirror as he drove. A very different feeling being the one relying on him to get you from point A to B…Your eyes met his coal black ones as you both looked at each other for longer than intended before he glanced back at the road.

The silence was deafening as Stu sighed, rubbing his head while wincing and you just sat in that back seat grimacing at the car hitting a pothole. It made a pained gasp escape you as your eyes accidentally filled with tears. It hurt, yes but…Other things hurt too. Your heart ached like no other at the horrible night…The horrible day. The horrible… Everything.

“I know, sweetcheeks. We'll be outta danger before you know it and get you feeling better.” Stu reached back to pat your knee.

It wasn't as comforting as you wished it was. You quietly cried in that backseat but didn't sob. Just sniffed back tears a few times as you all drove down the dark road. Dawn was approaching slowly.

All before Billy got closer to Kirby's house of all places.

You sat up. Anxiously seeing cop lights ahead until Billy pulled off into an alleyway where, to your surprise, a van sat. He fished into his hospital pants having pocketed his keys as he told you, “Alright, let's go.”

Stu smirked, “A pedo van? You drive a creeper van?”

Billy glared, “It has windows and is red, dipshit. Just shut the fuck up and get in.”

You were numb. Almost not responding.

“YN.” Billy snapped his fingers as you took too long to respond but finally did. It's like your mind wanted to shut off from all the anguish tonight. He opened your door and grabbed your hand. “C'mon. Now.” He ordered in a voice that lacked his usual malice. Putting his arm under yours to support you and help you out of the car and into his van.

Stu watched you both but said nothing. Just observing. Opening the door for Billy to get you in.

You got in the front and Stu in the back sprawling his long legs out on the seat. “Damn…You could totally get some motion back here, if ya know what I mean…”

A pause happened as Stu wagged his brows and Billy gave him an incredulous look.

It dawned on him as Billy rolled his eyes at what Stu was getting at. “Are you fucking high from anesthesia or something?”

“C'mon!...Just say it… How many girls have you porked back here? Be honest.”

“Your Mom. She barely fit in that seat. Now, shut the fuck up.” Billy jeered in a deadpan.

Stu chuckled weakly, hanging his head back tiredly with a smirk as he cringed. The chuckle hurting his tender ribs.

You ignored their immature jesting and their crude remarks. To them, they were scott free and still acting like teens getting away with it. But to you? You were leaving everything behind. You couldn't even risk getting your suitcase that had Sidney's locket or any pictures Mindy and Chad drew for you because cops would be across the street cleaning up the crime scene of Jill's Mom and the two Deputies. You didn't have Dewey's gun you had for over a decade because Judy confiscated it. You didn't even know if you could go home. You had no weapons on you. You were…Done. Weak, helpless, tired. Done.

You just laid back in that passenger seat in pain. The anesthesia still in you and feeling foggy the more the adrenaline wore off. Still in a bloody hospital gown and pants just with a blanket Billy told Stu to get from the back seat over your body as you laid back. More so if cars went by they wouldn't see the blood. Closing your eyes with a heavy heart and hopeless feeling.

————————————

Billy subtly watched you as you all left town come morning day break. The crack of dawn with the sky a hazy blue and light pink in the distance. ‘Leaving Woodsboro’ a sign he never thought he'd see again but couldn't see fast enough as he purposely took an old back road out of town to avoid detection.

Till Stu gently played with your hair then picked up your arm to move it.

Billy looked bewildered, “What are you doing?”

Stu nodded to himself when you breathed heavily. Easily setting your arm back down and opening an eyelid to see nothing but white. “Good. She's knocked out.” He mumbled low as he left you to sit back. Waiting a few moments to make sure you stayed asleep.

Billy's mouth twitched in a frown knowing what Stu was gonna say…Because he thought the same damn thing.

“What are we doing here?”

“Hiding out at my place, I guess.” Billy answered in a monotone.

“No. You know what I mean, man.” Stu glanced at you. “What are we doing? All 3 of us…Both of us with her…What are we gonna do?”

Billy sighed heavily as he drove. But said nothing for a moment. “...What do you think?”

“Well…” Stu gazed at you. “I know we came back because no one kills her but us. And to get rid of imposters but…We won. I mean, we did it. Here she is.” Stu gently combed a stray tiny hair from your face and you didn't even stir. The anesthesia is still heavily in you and you haven't slept for a while. “On a damn silver plater. No friends. No police. No gun. No knife. No witnesses. No mace.”

Billy huffed at that still remembering how bad that stung and how much he wanted to tear you limb from limb. “What are you getting at? Spit it out.” They kept their tones low.

Stu paused then drew it out. “...We've hunted her for 15 years. 15 years, man.”

“Thought you were in love with her?” Billy raised a brow.

“Was. Bitch didn't even talk to me for a decade after everything I did for her. She only hugged me at the barn because her only friend rejected her. If it wasn't for that, she wouldn't give us the time of day other than to be her bodyguards for Ghostfaces.”

Billy nodded. Something they could agree on. You were cornered and couldn't be trusted.

They both sat in silence as Stu pondered aloud. “I mean…Maybe we should just…Do it?”

Billy faltered and eyed Stu in his mirror, almost turning in his seat at one point to look at him. “...You can't be serious. We just about got caught and you want to…Are you fucking stupid?”

“I am. I mean, serious, jerk. C'mon man. A decade ago she was begging for us to end it. She's got money and fame and she's still not happy.”

“And how would you know?” Billy huffed with annoyance.

Stu raised a brow, “You getting defensive? Was I right-”

“Just shut up and answer.” He grumbled while readjusting his tense arms while driving.

“...I can just tell.” Stu gazed back down at you from the backseat as you barely stirred. He smiled a moment, as if admiring how cute you looked to him in this state, all before sighing softly. “Ray's dead. Dewey hates her guts. Everyone betrayed her and wouldn't listen. She's a wanted woman now. And she's probably living all alone like she was a decade ago…Isn't this more cruel than, I don't know, ending it?”

Billy felt his heart sink and he didn't understand why.

Stu kept going as his old partner in crime stayed silent, “YN's worst fear was being caught and everyone thinking she was in on killing those other kids with us in 96…Why not free her of that burden? Two birds with one stone sorta thing. We get what we always wanted and her name is cleared.”

Billy blinked, “Are you…Are you suggesting we off her while she's here just to do what we talked about over a decade ago??” He whispered so you wouldn't hear in your deep slumber.

“I'm just saying that you've especially been wanting to kill her for a long time and I'm indifferent to it really. If anyone should kill her it's me…I mean, it kinda would be one last act of kindness to her. Romantic even, not that I'm a sap or anything but...” Stu softly chuckled and smiled tenderly; gently gliding a finger over your cheek watching as your face scrunched slightly and you turned away in your sleep. He waited till he heard a slight snore. “...Kill her. Do what we've had on our bucket list for so long. Maybe even make her body the most memorable kill of all? She is the one that got away. The one that started all this just like we did. Everyone gives Sid credit but nah. It's her…Decorate her near the Woodsboro sign and make Dewey and Gale feel like dogshit and Jill's story unravel and make YN a memorable pretty corpse people will talk about for years to come…’Poor YN. She died trying to warn everyone. Poor YN, no one believed she was innocent when she was. Poor YN was a hero’.” Stu mused thoughtfully.

Billy hated this…This... Fucking emotion!

What the fuck was it!? His body heated and yet chilled, his gut twisted into knots and his heart sank. He hadn't felt this in so long. He felt fucking human for once.

Stu went on, “Don't worry, we wouldn't torture her. She deserves a merciful death for helping us when she did and sparring us a decade ago, ya know?” Stu hesitated before an almost perverted smirk played on his lips. “...But…It would be fun to do to her what we would fantasize about in the cabin before Windsor happened. Give her as much pleasure as pain. Drag it out…If the body is-”

Billy almost slammed on the brakes and he didn't know why because he had fantasies of practically stabbing you while fucking you years ago and him and Stu practically got each other riled up as they used to talk about it but something about what Stu was saying for whatever reason was too damn far.

“NO!” He barked out angrily as Stu shhed him as you almost opened your eyes.

Both of them froze before after a few moments of tense silence you fell asleep once more. Stu glared at Billy, “Man, what the Hell!? She almost woke up!” He hissed low under his breath.

“We are not doing it! God damn it, we aren't raping her dead or alive.” He grumbled running a hand over his face as he tried to reason shit out in his head.

Stu held up his hands, “Okay, okay! Jeez it was fine at Windsor and to jerk off to the idea but not now…Got it.”

Billy just gave him an annoyed glare as Stu kept going.

“But what about the kill? She's defenseless in the middle of nowhere with no one to go to. What better time! We never have to worry about her coming after us or police from her talking or getting involved with these Ghostface from taking our kill…This is it, man! Right here-” He pointed downward for emphasis. “Right here, right now. We only ever got involved because we didn't want our secret out or someone taking thee YN from us when that right should be ours, man! Ours!” Stu ranted, trying to whisper. “She tossed me aside and she's damn lucky I didn't kill her for it. I want her and I'd rather it end like this than her turning us in for immunity in court or her getting away and another Mark happening… All I know is it's now or never.”

Billy felt like shit and his mind felt even worse. He looked back at Stu and swore he saw his dead mother in the backseat behind the blonde man. Nodding with a sadistic smile on her dead face. That same smile she had before she died on that stage in front of him. Another hallucination like he got when he was under stress or killing happened. Swear to God, sometimes he felt like Anthony Perkins in Psycho.

He had two Devil's on his shoulders whispering in his ears ‘Do it, do it, do it’ and yet something deep in him…

He shook his head to himself.

Seeing your face. It was the first time in years he truly felt you were beautiful to him like he thought when he was 18. Bloody and teary eyed…Vulnerable. Calling for them to help you. You finally let the wall down and your voice sounded like a scared child calling out to him. He wanted to protect you. It was the most bizarre reaction he ever had in this sort of situation.

‘Billy, I'm scared.’ You whimpered to him as he held your hand at that house. Such a silly yet simple gesture for two people dying but you needed him. YOU needed HIM. You didn't hate him. You let the wall down and finally admitted you were scared and you never hated him for what he did. Just the thought made the most unfamiliar tingling warmth prickle in his chest that felt weird and uncomfortable for a man like him. It increased realizing you saved him. You were willing to take a bullet for him again and put your name and life on the line.

He was a prick. A cold hearted serial killer. A sadist. Probably psychotic or some other diagnosis he self diagnosed just cause it sounded cool…But what you did for him when he was 18 went unappreciated. All he could focus on was you ruining his plans and almost sending him to prison. But he was a man now. A grown man. And he now appreciated the sacrifice you gave to save his life tonight. You risked everything to save a murderer when only Stu and him were focused on Jill not killing you because one day they might want to kill you instead.

He was so conflicted. Especially after the secret he found out about you a few short years ago while you both hadn't seen each other in years. After reading that and seeing how you felt; it was extremely hard to hate you like he used to. He was so confused and conflicted and he hated it.

Stu mumbled, “I mean…I love her. I do.”

Billy rolled his eyes. Stu didn't know what love was…No, he LITERALLY didn't know. He knew Stu better than anyone. Stu obsessed hard, worshiped hard, fixated then the second that person irks him they're dead to him. Like a toy. If he cares, it's an altered version of it.

Stu cared at the barn because you needed him and he liked the feeling. The power that you needed him. The thrill of taking you with them and being under his mercy. But him caring didn't stop his murderous tendencies. In fact, for Stu, it seemed he viewed this as his way of ‘showing mercy and love’ by killing you to make you look like a poor murdered angel on tv. Soooo merciful for a woman that rejected him, Billy thought.

Stu continued, “- Which is why if we kill her…No one can hurt her again. No more suffering. No more death of people she cares for. No more sadness.”

Billy couldn't take it. “No. Fuck…Shit! Fuck. God damn-” He grumbled smacking the steering wheel in frustration. “No! Damn it, we can't! We won't.”

The silence was deafening. It dragged out. Lasted onward and for severely long moments.

Stu stared long and hard before it came out, “...What happened?”

Billy blinked, “...Huh?”

“What the hell happened between you both?” Stu demanded with a familiar look in his eyes that was never a good thing. Jealous over the idea someone else, especially Billy, had played with his toy in any way. If he wanted to break his toy or love it he could but not some other boy behind his back doing it too. “Yesterday you were talking shit about her and today you're coddling her. What the fuck?”

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Billy scoffed. Trying to hide how his heart was all twisted up right now. Stu did not need to know about the confession in that house or that while he was knocked out YN saved his ass.

“Yeah, I bet.” Stu jeered with a mild sneer. “How do you go from wanting her dead and me having to protect her to now I moved on and accepted she'll never return feelings for me and now you're the one getting all defensive about AN IDEA of doing it. Didn't say I would, I'm just talking about it. And you're acting like her white knight or something.”

“Look!” Billy demanded in a firm tone. “15 years is not going down the drain by killing her when she can't even fight. It's below us. It's not right. She's too…She's put up too much of a fight for us to do her like that.”

“Didn't stop us from going after Casey; two men after some defenseless chick. Didn't stop you with Tatum or me with-”

Billy smacked the wheel in irritation again, “I said no! It's pussified to get her when she's down! We're gonna lay low and-”

His raised voice made you stir and they both froze.

——————————

You made a tiny noise as the sun was out now. Something woke you up. Yelling? Billy wouldn't look at you and kept driving with his shoulders tense but Stu just plastered a relaxed smile on his face and said, “Sleepy heads awake. Just discussing where we're going, sweetcheeks.”

Stu suddenly surprised you in your doped up tired state and handed you something before you could space out too much. “I promise I only looked at pictures. Honest!” I think Dewey must've got it from the yard for you. It was in your room and I thought I'd grab it because of evidence or whatever.”

You hesitated, still groggy then gingerly took your phone. Screen cracked a bit but nothing major. “...Thanks Stu.”

As soon as you fumbled with it and turned it on; you saw all the missed calls from Dewey before you went to Kirby's house and the call to Billy and Stu. It said unknown but just the fact you knew was enough. Complete evidence if someone really dug and traced where that unknown call truly came from. And your lip threatened to wobble as you shut your phone off and looked away. You didn't dare look at pictures the last few days of Randy and his kids…You'd break down. You'd sob your eyes out on this extra fucked up day.

Stu eyed you with wide eyes. Like a child seeing someone cry and not knowing what to do. Billy rolled his lips and averted his eyes before telling you in a tone that sounded almost too soft to be his. “Just go back to sleep. We aren't too far from our stop.”

You didn't even care to ask where you were going. What did it matter? Everything you loved or your future was gone. The sun was starting to rise higher after such a long night. Still sleepy from surgery. In pain. Emotionally drained…You just closed your eyes to sleep again. All three of you banged up badly. Honestly? At this point, if you woke up to handcuffs from being pulled over; then you did. If you wrecked and died; then you do. You couldn't bring yourself to care right now.

You didn't see it but Billy subtly looked back at Stu from the mirror and Stu sighed but nodded. “Okay…Yeah, she should just get some sleep and rest up.” He mumbled reluctantly as silence fell over the inside of the van.

—————————

“Alright, c'mere sweetcheeks. Up ya go.” Stu groaned with a grimace as he helped you up. You jerked away. Startled as hell and damn near smacked him thinking it was Jill. “Easy, easy! It's me, babe.”

You breathed heavily, trying to calm your hammering heart as your chest rose and fell.

Billy glanced at you. “Relax, YN. He's been beat multiple times tonight and god knows any other night; don't make him braindead.” He mumbled as he got his keys and you looked around.

You were in a small driveway. A beat down old trailer on blocks with a wooden deck built on.

Stu helped you out and grinned with a groan, “Jeez, humble dwellings huh?”

“Blow me.” Billy grumbled with a glare. “Not everyone's an attention whore that showboats.” He gave while opening the door.

Stu helped you as you tried to wake yourself up. “Someone's cranky that they're poor. This thing is the size of my garage.” He chuckled trying to get you to laugh but you didn't even crack a smile. But even Stu grimaced as he chuckled too hard and hurt a rib that got shot.

He led you in Billy's trailer. About what you would expect for a single guy on edge. Billy dragging his leg stiffly, Stu lumbering around slower than he was at the hospital and you were just there. In pain with your insides; wondering if you're gonna die from your injuries or not.

You were led to the couch to gingerly lay down and as soon as you felt it your eyes started closing again. You were exhausted.

Stu staggered about and you heard Billy telling him not to touch anything and laying out a ‘game plan’ in case cops showed up but it soon became background noise.

As soon as your eyes closed in a twilight state; images filtered through your head. This wasn't real. Of course it wasn't. You were on Randy's couch with a blanket over you with the credits for a movie playing in the background. Randy was peacefully snoring in his recliner with Chad and Mindy curled up with him. All of them are peacefully sleeping as you smiled to yourself. The tv illuminating them and you as you tried to relax on Randy's couch. It smelled like the teakwood mahogany scent Karla had throughout the home. It was warm, it was home away from home, cozy. You breathed a sigh of relief…It was all just an awful nightmare.

Soon, you'd be home with Cherri. Maybe invite Dewey and Gale and Karla and Randy over for dinner one night? The kids could come too. Your dog loved those kids. You just had to pick her up from a family friend's house. Billy and Stu never showed up and are in prison because they never saved you in the first place. They got caught, of course they did. They hadn't changed since 1996. Ghostface was Jill and Charlie and they had been killed. You were healing and discharged from the hospital…It was all just an awful nightmare on medication and surgery…It was.

You sighed peacefully. Watching Randy a moment as he snuggled his kids. Too bad you didn't have a camera…Your phone? Hmm…Where is your phone? You looked around feeling like the coffee table looked more dark than you remember but all well. You'd find it in the morning. No more publicists to worry about; you fired her. You almost closed your eyes to fall back to sleep.

But then, you went to turn to look towards the dark hallway of Randy's home and your body jolted at seeing a dark robe, white face mask and 12 inch bloody knife. You tried to get Randy's attention but you couldn't speak. Mouth opening but the words wouldn't come out. All before an ungodly scream of pure fear ripped from your throat when the Ghostface barreled towards you knife over head ready to plunge it into you. Your heart bottoming out as the scream ripped away from you.

“Hey!”

You felt hands on you as you yelled out, thrashing and crying as someone forced you back down on the couch. “Hey!...You're safe. You're fine. Relax….Shh.” Billy told you. His dark eyes were wide at the way you reacted to being woken up. “It's okay…” He offered.

You sucked in breaths of air. Feeling sharp pain in your abdomen as you grimaced. Eyes darting to see a brown flannel style old couch instead of Randy and Karla's gray one. Smelling faint cigarette smoke and a more natural scent than the teakwood Bath & Body Works scent. Feeling a rougher blanket than the fuzzy one you had at Randy's…And then it all hit you that Randy being alive and all of you safe at his house was a dream…It was all just a hopeful dream. This was real. It was all true and real.

You had to swallow down the pain in your heart.

“Here…” Billy offered pills and water.

You said nothing, still frazzled as you sat up. Looking at them skeptically.

“It's a Clarithromycin and Tylenol.” He clarified. “You're gonna need it.” He offered them again as you shakily took it. Trying so hard not to cry as your fingers trembled to get the pills from his palm and the water. Your fingers brushing the palm of his hand repeatedly as he zeroed in on it. Eyes hyper focused on your hand before he averted his gaze. He was in different clothes. Comfortable clothes that he could escape in if he had to in case authorities knocked on the door.

His leg fucked up and his stomach but compared to you and Stu; he was slightly better off. “...You need food with that.” He mumbled awkwardly. Getting up off the couch with a groan. “You want…A sandwich or…Maybe Spaghetti-o's or something?” He quietly asked.

You blinked and just nodded. Throat hoarse from screaming in terror and grief the night before and mind scattered, “Yeah. Whatever you got.” You quietly replied back trying to wrap your mind around the fact you were alive. You were alive and had been stabbed repeatedly in the stomach. You were alive and staying at Billy's place hiding from the cops.

Billy shuffled painfully to the kitchen. All of you are worse for wear. You didn't even know where he lived. Were you even still in Cali?

Out of pure instinct upon waking up, you went to check your phone to see almost 12 hours had gone by since you escaped the hospital and…A lump formed in your throat that ached as you saw the missed calls from Dewey from the night before. And now this morning…Karla Wilson Meeks.

You sat the phone down, getting up to go use the bathroom. Seeing it in the hallway from where you sat on his couch. Everything hurts. Who knows if Jill didn't rupture a damn organ in you? And yet, you probably couldn't even go to get checked out unless you were vomiting blood or something and you might as well kiss your freedom goodbye if you did. It's why you all were hiding out doctoring wounds at Billy's trailer.

You used the bathroom, painfully sitting on the toilet. Even peeing hurts using muscles you took for granted and you weren't even sure if you were allowed to eat solids or not. Unable to talk to the doctor before having to flee the hospital. You painfully tried sucking in a breath as you stood up and adjusted those hospital pants you still had on. No idea where you would get clothes.

Before completely re-opening the door; you stopped and looked in the mirror at the bruises and minor cuts on your face. Still in your hospital clothes. A big bloody stain on the front of you.

“We didn't undress you to check your stitches.” He awkwardly told you.

You jumped a bit at Billy's voice. He was standing in the hallway watching you.

“...I…I can do it.” You mumbled, trying to get your bearings here.

“...I can take a look.” He offered after a moment's pause. “I mean you know…If you're cool with it.”

You hesitated but realized you had pants on…So. If he wanted to check then. Well he wasn't a Doctor but it was better than nothing.

You gently lifted your gown to see the bloody bandages as Billy stepped closer towards you. He looked up from slowly stooping down to look, “We gotta take these off. They're just marinating your stitches in bacteria at this point.”

You nodded, not much in the talking mood. Wincing as he peeled the caked on bloody bandages off your sore skin. You tried jerking away when he went to touch your stitches. “Hey, ya want infection? I'll be gentle. Promise…” He gave in an unsure voice as if just saying the words felt so foreign to him.

You didn't feel you had much of a choice as you stood there. You watched him as he looked at your injuries. His dark eyes gazing at your bloody skin, brows furrowed in concentration as his fingers ever so slightly touched your side.

“I gotta clean it…That cool or?-”

You nodded absent-mindedly. “Yeah, sure. Whatever you gotta do.” You softly gave. Still in a daze that Billy Loomis of all people was helping with your wounds.

You closed your eyes and gritted your teeth as Billy used a warm washcloth that was too rough to get the caked on blood off. “Easy!” You grimaced.

Billy scoffed, “Oh? Am I too rough, Princess?” He mocked.

“Yes…” You softly mumbled, averting your gaze.

Billy completely faltered at that. Expecting a smart ass witty jeer from you and getting a voice that made you feel pathetic come from yourself. You just…You just didn't have the fight in you right now.

“...Please, be a bit…Easier.” You mumbled again not wanting to look at him. You felt vulnerable and you didn't like it. Not with these freaks. And yet, how much more could your brain take? You felt ready to sob and scream any moment and your ego was the only thing preventing it.

Billy stared. He stared long and hard before nodding and swallowing. Both of you not use to…This. This helping and taking care of each other. Not use to being this close without murder.

“Alright.” He nodded again as he was more gentle on your skin.

You looked up at the ceiling trying to be strong before sneaking a glance in the mirror. Your entire abdomen had bruises in various places and your stitches are red and angry looking.

“You know, I think you'll be alright. I mean, who knows internally but…I mean, your stitches only opened here and here. Easy fix if you'll let me.”

You hesitated letting Billy of all people help you but sighed and relented. You watched him as he sanitized things. Feeling vicks on your wound as you looked bewildered, “Vicks??”

He smirked getting the needle ready, “Burns at first but numbs the area. Old trick in a bind I've learned. Don't know if it's the right way but whatever.” He groaned while sitting on the toilet seat for his wound while you stood.

You nodded and looked away. Hell, he might be doing things to make it worse and you had no choice. You'd much rather be in a hospital but…Well…

You broke the silence as he santized his supplies. “I um…I don't think I should eat solids too much till I see if everythings in…Working order inside.” You made small talk as he sewed up the two openings after sterilizing them. You grimaced and tensed as it hurt but tried to get through it.

Billy huffed in annoyance mid stitch, “Are you kidding me, I just-” He faltered, sucking in a breath. “Tch...Fine. Makes sense.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, it's fine. Whatever.” He grumbled finishing up.

You had so many things to say…So fucking much. Why was Billy doing this? Why not kill you? Why risk all this?...But you knew. You were just scared of saying it and apparently; so was he.

“Okay.” He examined his handy work. “I think that's good.” He added what looked like neosporin and then got out some bandages from the bathroom cabinet. He had a whole arsenal of medical supplies no doubt from all the close calls all these years.

He gingerly placed the gauze pads down and started using body safe tape and wrappings as you could only watch.

“...Thank you.” You hesitantly gave. What else was there to say?

Billy glanced up at you, “Don't make it weird.”

“I'm not! I just…” You trailed off sighing. This was so awkward. You both clearly had things to talk about like a confession and so much more but neither one was willing to say it.

“Billy…I think we need to talk about…Everything. I mean, what you said and what I said and did. I meant…I meant what I said when-”

Billy faltered seeing the expression on your face. He looked like he was struggling before saying, “YN, stop. About…You know I just…Look, I mean shit we were dying-”

An awkward silence fell over you both before someone cleared their throat and both of you jumped slightly to see Stu in the hallway. “Oh, YN. You had him stitch you up? Good as new?”

Billy gave Stu a strange look but you just nodded. Hating the awkwardness of being in this trailer with these two after so long.

Stu nodded, seeing your clothes. “I think a bloody gown isn't the look, babe.”

“Her clothes from last night are bloody too. Especially her shirt. She can borrow one of my flannels, I wear shit oversized so hopefully she isn't swimming in it.” Billy mumbled.

Stu made a tight lipped face and nodded, “Alright.” He gave a smirk before groaning in pain. “Man, I need pain relievers and water. My waters too warm now…Billy.” He alluded.

“Are you motherfucking for real right now?” Billy glared at him.

“I was shot, like, 7 times man! No, 10!” Stu jeered.

“So!? Am I your damn mother??”

“Man, c'mon! I'm dying here! It's your shack!” Stu whined loudly and ‘weakly’ held himself against the wall.

“You pathetic ass baby, I swear to God-” Billy grumbled making his way to the kitchen. You gingerly followed as Stu reclined on a chair in the living room with a pained grunt as he eased down. Billy nagged him from the kitchen as you ventured there yourself. “I'm only doing this one damn time. After this? Get it yourself.” He cursed under his breath before looking at you. “What the hell are you doing?”

You looked like a deer in headlights at his tone, a can in hand you got from the cupboard. “Um…Just getting soup? Is it special, is that okay?”

“No, idiot. I don't have special soup, are you- Damn it.” Billy shooed you. “Get the hell outta here, I'll do it. I don't need you opening your damn stitches again.”

You looked perplexed as he seemed to take care of you and Stu…Bitching while doing it but still. This was not the Billy you knew and kinda weirded you out.

“Yeah well, you're injured too. I'm okay opening a soup can and using the microwave-”

He pointed with a glare. “Go. Now. Sit on the couch.”

You glared back feeling that familiar fire in you slowly rising, “I'm not helpless-”

“You are. You are very pathetic and weak and helpless right now and should count your blessings that I'm not taking advantage of that. Go!” He ordered like he was your Dad or something.

You scoffed softly and grumbled under your breath as you shuffled back to the couch. It sucked too. Smelling like a guy that didn't know what febreeze was and a spring was poking you in your back. You eased back down trying not to pout at being ordered around. You weren't a damn kid! But…This was Billy's house, you were heavily injured, and you had less choices.

Stu watched you from across the room. “Damn, did you just get chased out the kitchen by mother hen in there?” He teased. But his smirk settled as he stared at you. “How are you feeling?”

“Bad…I mean, not great.” You shrugged. Cold and pained and tired and feeling like dogshit mentally too.

“Yeah. Better get a shirt from Billy. You sure you don't want mine?”

You gave a bewildered smirk, “No, Stu. I'm not taking the shirt off your back.” You forced yourself to try and get up again but…

Before you knew it, your phone ran. It set everyone on edge.

[katerina-marie]

The Uncertainty of Domesticity

Toji Fushiguro x Female Reader

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 of 3

Toji Fushiguro wasn’t afraid of much, though he definitely felt so when he became a widower in the same moment he became a father. Years later, he felt it again when you came along with the same hopes and dreams for a future he never thought he would experience again.

Content: JJK universe but no canon events / strangers & neighbors to lovers / medium burn idk / female reader and referred to as such but left descriptively vague / no y/n / out of character and soft Toji / single-father Toji / NSFW - vaginal sex so please avoid accordingly - but I can't write smut to save my life so it's not very explicit / Megumi-Mama/Mamaguro dies in childbirth and its mentioned once or twice / cutie pie child Megumi / fluff / slice of life / light angst from Toji's inner turmoil / discussions about having children / pregnancy and childbirth for reader in part 3 (pending) / more notes below

WC: 7.9k

Notes: Slow burn? *Shakes head* I don't know her. I find in my fics that I like to write from a farther out, outside looking in perspective, or in a more snapshot-esque view. Pacing is hard for me in terms of how to write authentic relationship progress, so forgive me if it comes across a little too fast. Though, that is somewhat intentional with this story. I like the idea of Toji and reader going all in cause life can be short and cruel and who's to say that you can't?

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Toji wasn’t entirely sure about the Itadori family. 

Yuji was fine enough, if not a bit empty-headed, but his two older brothers caused his eyebrows to raise every time he saw them. The one with pink hair had a temper that rivaled his own and was somehow covered in various black tattoos despite the fact he was still a young teenager. The other one didn’t seem any better to Toji, with dark circles around his eyes as if he was in a constant state of sleep deprivation, and he too had some odd black mark across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. The father was something else as well, but they were kind and accommodating to his son, and it didn’t escape him that they lacked a mother too. All in all, Megumi needed friends, and apparently he picked the odd ones, so Toji would tolerate their peculiarities for the purpose they served. Namely, acting as spare babysitters when the occasion called for it. 

But of course, the one time he really needed them, the whole Itadori household had come down with the stomach bug. Since Toji had already done his time with such an illness with Megumi before, he wasn’t so inclined to do it again. Thus, he was sufficiently out of babysitters. Usually if the Itadoris weren’t available, Toji would bribe one of the more trustworthy older students from the school to watch Megumi in exchange for cash and pizza, mostly for nights involving a failed date or something less noble that never felt worth it the next morning. However, in an unfortunate turn of events for such a pleasant Saturday, it was his job and students that were requiring his attention. The principal had rung him twenty minutes earlier to demand his presence in helping with a situation no doubt caused by a particularly troublesome twosome, and Toji wasn’t keen on his last resort of bringing Megumi with him. 

That left you. Toji wasn’t sure why he was so nervous about the idea. You had offered again since the first time just last month to watch Megumi for him, but he hadn’t yet found a reason to do so. He wasn’t going on any dates, at least not since you moved across the street, and if Megumi was over spending time with you, Toji had a feeling he’d be itching to do the same. 

However, time was ticking, and the longer he stood at the window that afforded him the best view of your house and snuck another glance through his blinds, the more likely he was to forgo the idea entirely. Thankfully, Toji could feel the weight of Megumi’s eyes on his back and since it felt very much like his son was thinking of him as something close to moronic, he yanked his phone out of his pocket and dialed your number before he could stop himself. 

“Hello, neighbor,” was your standard choice of greeting for him, but the way it flowed off your tongue and lit upwards at the end always had Toji trying to calculate in his head how many times he could reasonably call you in a week before he could be seen as desperate. 

“I have a favor to ask,” he said tightly, and he turned from the window to pace along the back of the sofa that Megumi was currently sitting on. “Can you come over and watch Megumi for a couple hours? Work is being a pain in my ass and I’m needed there, but Yuji’s family is sick, so I don’t really have anyone else to watch him.” 

You didn’t miss a beat before squealing your reply into his ear. “Of course! Give me five minutes and I’ll be right there.” Toji, the grouch that he was, couldn’t deny that your enthusiasm for the prospect of spending time with his kid made him feel soft and warm in a way that he usually found unappealing for himself. 

“Thank you,” he said back, and he could hear you bustling about on the other end of the phone, “the front door will be unlocked, so just let yourself in.” 

After a quick, “sure thing,” you ended the call, and Toji let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding on to. He looked down at Megumi, and from the grin on his face, Toji could tell he knew exactly what was going to happen. 

“You better behave, you hear me?” His son nodded so quickly—enthusiastically—that Toji was shocked his head did bounce right off. “You know your schedule for the rest of the evening, so don’t try to weasel anything extra out of it, else I’ll find out.” 

Toji walked back to the window to glance through the blinds again. “And don’t tell her anything weird about me either.” 

Megumi made a confused noise. “Like how you look for her out the window all the time?” 

Toji dropped the blinds so quickly one would think they turned animate and bit him, then spun around to stand up straight. “I don’t do that,” he said gruffly, but Megumi wasn’t paying him any attention, clearly unimpressed by his father’s patheticness, and was instead focused on the book in his lap. Instead of trying to argue with a kid who wasn’t yet six, Toji dashed off to the bathroom to double check its state of cleanliness. He had just finished up when he heard a faint knock at the front door and then your voice greeting Megumi a second later. 

Upon coming out and seeing you standing behind the couch while Megumi pointed at something in his book, Toji suddenly wished he didn’t have to leave at all. You were clad in a blue lounge set that looked as soft as he imagined you felt, and under your arm was a bag stuffed with puzzles, movies, and Megumi’s favorite bag of chips. The smile you gave him when he walked up to you didn’t help his motivation either. 

“Hi,” you chirped, and Toji didn’t miss your swift head-to-toe onceover of his work clothes that you didn’t even try to hide this time around. 

“Hey,” he answered back, and god, he’d be lying if he said that looking down at you while you gazed up at him through darkened lashes wasn’t his one of favorite things as of late. “Thank you again for doing this. I owe you one.” 

In the first instance of touch since he had hugged you a couple weeks back after losing Megumi at your house, you placed your hand on his upper arm and squeezed just a little. “It’s no trouble. I promise.” 

As the two of you shoved him out the door, clearly catching on to his reluctance to leave, you gave him a cheery promise to keep him updated on everything he’d miss, and as the day wore on, seeing your name on his screen followed by a photo evidence was an extra pump of adrenaline to his system. 

You and Megumi sitting outside with ice cream cones that dripped down your fingers. 

Megumi’s look of elation when he finally fit the last piece of a puzzle together. 

A sheet pan of chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven with the assurance that you wouldn’t let Megumi eat more than two (an hour). 

You perched on the side of Megumi’s bed with a book in hand while he was snuggled under the blankets as a yawn took over his face. 

Each and every one ended up being saved to his phone, and Toji didn’t have any explanation as to why other than because he had wanted to. 

By the time he was finished and leaving the school, the sky was black and the air was quiet. The time on his watch told him that Megumi had been in bed for close to three hours now, and Toji wondered what you had been doing in the time since then. 

How would you look curled up on his couch with a book? Did you fall asleep to some movie that you had put on the TV? Would he be wrong to imagine that you would glance at the door occasionally and wish that he would walk through it at that moment? 

Thoughts of you kept him occupied on his drive home, and once there, he hurried to park the car and bound up the couple steps to his front door. When Toji finally pushed through it, you were sitting in the corner of his couch, TV on and a plate scattered with cookie crumbs in your lap. You craned your neck back to look at him, and the slow smile that stretched across your cheeks had him aching for the nights long passed when there had always been someone to welcome him home.

“How’d things go?” You turned the TV off and shifted in your spot to place your hands on the back of the sofa and then rested your chin on top of them to watch him expectantly  

“It was…fine,” Toji managed, and it occurred to him that there was a whole other world he kept hidden from you. At some point, should you indicate that you wanted something more from him, he would have to divulge that pertinent information to you. However, that was getting ahead of himself, and he racked his brain to come up with an explanation that would satisfy your curiosity, but wasn’t so detailed that he couldn’t explain it away if necessary. “Our school was hosting an event with another a couple hours away and, naturally, our resident trouble-makers did something they shouldn’t.”

“Sounds fun,” you remarked sarcastically.

Toji huffed a quiet laugh and considered moving from his place in front of his door to sit next to you but only managed one step before you were making a move to get up. 

Another missed opportunity.

“I, uh, really appreciate having you watch Megumi for me today. It seems like the two of you had a good time. But I’m sorry this is how you had to spend your Saturday night.”

“Don’t be. I don’t mind at all,” you told him as you stood and bent down to grab your bag off the floor. “Megumi is a great kid, and I love children.”

The adoring look on your face combined with the wistful way your words came out had something twisting uncomfortably in Toji’s stomach. He clenched his hand around his car keys until they dug into his skin painfully. “You do?” 

“Mhm,” you hummed, coming around the couch to stop in front of him. “I don’t get to spend much time with them—I only have a few friends that have one or two, and I never had the patience to be a teacher.” You poked a gentle finger into the meat of his shoulder in a way that was teasing, but for once he couldn’t bring himself to react.

Neither do I. 

“So you want your own one day?” 

Your expression shuttered and went uncharacteristically blank, and Toji suddenly wished he could turn back time. His words must have come out strained, or maybe disapproving. He didn’t intend for them to sound like so, but something about them set your jaw tight and had your eyes drooping in what looked a lot like disappointment. 

In a brief flash of self-pity, Toji found himself missing his wife. He missed having someone that would be patient with him in his foul moods and curt way of speaking. Someone who guided him through the tangled web of his emotions and helped him coax out something gentle and palatable instead. Toji wished he was better at whatever this was just so he had a chance at keeping you near him. 

“I do,” you finally replied, but the words were hushed and dismissive in their finality. Toji couldn’t think of anything else to do but nod, lest he open his mouth again and dig himself deeper into something irreparable. He turned his attention over your shoulder and down the hall to where Megumi lay sleeping so he didn’t have to keep subjecting himself to how you were now looking at him like you wished he was something else. 

“Well,” you started, and Toji hated how your voice was clipped and forcibly light. You stepped around him to reach for the front door. “It’s late, and I want to make sure we all get some rest. I’ll see you two later, yeah?”

You were already mostly out the door by the time Toji was able to call out a goodbye and you disappeared with a quick flash of your fingers. Resignation lingered in the air after you left and it made Toji feel like he had done something very wrong. 

------------------------------------

If you thought about it hard enough, you really had no one else to blame but yourself for the maelstrom of your emotions. 

It was almost frightening how quickly disappointment had tempered the giddiness that crackled under your skin that evening in Toji’s house. He looked like he had seen a ghost when you mentioned your love of children. His question had come out sounding like he had swallowed rocks, gargled and strained and like it took every ounce of his effort to get the words off his tongue. When you had confirmed it for him—that you wanted children one day—his nostrils flared wide and the entirety of him tensed so visceral that it looked painful. You had kindly seen yourself out at that point as you were certain his body had unknowingly entered a state somewhere in between flight or fight, and you didn’t wish to aggravate it further. 

If his reaction to a question that didn’t have anything to do with him at all on the surface—maybe the underlying tension was a cause for that—then you didn’t know why it felt like the floor had fallen out from under your feet, or why your stomach had dropped so heavily it actually pained you. But that was a lie, and you knew that somewhere in the last six months you had grown inexplicably attached to Toji Fushiguro and his six year old son. It wasn’t quite that you had already picked out names for children that had your hair and his eyes, but the possibility of something more with him had felt so close to fruition, almost tangible in your grasp, that having the hope of it dashed so suddenly was crushing in its own right. You would not bend in your desires for your life, at least not one so significant as that, but neither would you expect Toji to give himself to something that he didn’t want, not when it would require all of him. 

So, as you had read about but never quite experienced, maybe there wasn’t anything quite as painful as “almost.” When you had returned home that evening, your first stop had been your shower as it was the most proper place to wail about opportunities missed and allowed for the dramatics towards a situation not yet fully understood because it all could be washed away with the swirl of a drain. And, in your most infinite wisdom, the only way to recover from such a figurative loss was to choose the mature path and avoid the thing that caused the pain in the hopes that detachment would prevent any further attachment. 

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The longer Toji stared at his phone with his thumb hovering over the button that would dial your name, the more imbecilic he felt. 

He had been skirting around you for the same amount of time you had been acting weird (three weeks and two days, but he wasn’t keeping count), but when Megumi looked up at him this morning with a pouty lip and imploring eyes, begging him to invite the pretty and kind neighbor over for his birthday this weekend, Toji knew he was going to be have to be the one to wave the metaphorical white flag.

For what exactly? He had no idea. But clearly, his son had gotten just as attached to you as Toji was, and he couldn’t blame Megumi at all for it. Not when you always stopped to listen when he spoke, remembered the name of his favorite stuffed animals, and asked about his best friend Yuji. Even more so now that Megumi had figured out you kept a stash of his favorite snacks in your pantry for whenever he found himself over there, a frequency that had been increasing until lately. 

 Toji hadn’t really minded having to go over to your house and fetch his kid, not when he could wager with himself (the only form of gambling he permitted nowadays) on what you’d be wearing when he walked through the doors. Sometimes it was the well-tailored fabric of your work clothes, and other times it was some combination of skin skimming pants and shirt that was somehow just as appealing as the little dress that swung around your hips with every step. You had knocked the wind out of him with that one a while back.

Yet, all of that was negated by the fact that you had started to distance yourself ever since that night you babysat Megumi. After stewing over the stilted conversation for the rest of the night after you left, Toji chalked it up to nothing more than an awkward misunderstanding. Though on the following Monday, when you had come home early from work while he and Megumi had been playing outside, you offered nothing more than a brief wave and a smile that seemed less enthusiastic than normal before shutting yourself inside for the evening. Megumi had looked as dejected as Toji felt and to their frustration, the rest of your interactions followed suit. 

To make things increasingly worse, on Tuesday evening just last week, Toji happened by the opened window in his living room and saw a car a whole tax bracket nicer than his sidle up to your driveway. You had gotten out, smartly dressed, and a tall man equally well clothed had stepped out of the driver’s side. The two of you chatted animatedly the whole walk to your house, but Toji had turned away before he could witness whatever was about to happen on your doorstep.

The memory had him angrily mashing his thumb into the dial button and bringing the phone to his ear. 

“Hey,” you answered on the fourth ring. Your voice was still light and chipper, but lacked the warmth and enthusiasm you usually held for him. 

“Got time to talk?” Nerves had Toji reaching straight to the point. “Megumi’s with Yuji for the next little bit.” 

A beat or two passed before you answered, but it was long enough that Toji squirmed in his seat on the couch. “Sure. I’ll come over there?” 

Toji gave you the same instructions as last time: to let yourself in. Two minutes later the knob of his front door was twisting, and he was up in a flash. You greeted him with a half-hearted grin as you stepped over the doorway, and he held his arm out to direct you to the couch. 

“You’ve been avoiding us,” he said bluntly as he closed the front door behind you.

You winced, shame making your cheeks warm. You took a seat and Toji plopped down next to you on the couch just as you got settled in, and the weight of him dipped the cushion enough that you slid a little closer to him. You righted yourself before speaking. “Ah. You noticed?” 

Toji looked thoroughly unimpressed and none too pleased, and in the silence you swallowed thickly. His living room suddenly became the most interesting thing. The TV stand against the front wall only held the large flat screen and nothing else. The window to the left of the room looked out over the street. In front of the sofa was a pale wooden coffee table with a half-done puzzle. In the corner to the right of the TV, there was a shelf layered with some knick knacks, a couple of Megumi’s books, and if you squinted hard enough, you could just make out a small framed photo of Toji and a woman with dark hair.

“I felt like I had hit a nerve unknowingly that night, and I didn’t want to linger around and make you uncomfortable,” you finally admitted when the quiet became too much. Toji had been watching you with those unnerving eyes of his and he let out a stream of breath as he leaned back against the sofa. He laid his arm across the back of it and when his fingers landed just a hair's breadth from your shoulders, you would have sworn they twitched outwards to try and graze your shirt. 

“Maybe a little,” Toji said, scratching at the back of his head with his other hand,“but you didn’t know, and that’s not on you.” His eyebrows furrowed and it seemed like he was concentrating on something, maybe remembering something you had said. “Aren’t you scared?” 

It was your turn to give him a quizzical brow, and while you weren’t sure where exactly he was going with the question, you had no doubt about what he was asking. “About having children?” 

Toji nodded and you let out a little noise of understanding. He watched as you tilted your head to one side, peered up at his ceiling and chewed at the corner of your lip as you collected your thoughts. You drew your feet up onto the sofa, facing him, and pulled your knees to your chest to relax further into the corner, and Toji had to fight the urge to nudge you into speaking. Your toes wiggled from where they sat just a half foot away from his leg. 

“Maybe a little,” you considered, and Toji’s face slackened. “I’m sure you know that having them is a huge change and an enormous responsibility, but it’s worth it, no? In the same vein, I’d be scared of not having them even though I want to just because I’m nervous. I think having to live with such significant regret would be just as terrifying—at least for me. But that’s part of life, isn’t it? Doing the things that scare us because we want the chance of happiness that they could bring?” 

He studied you, seemingly perplexed by your decision and his inability to understand it, but you didn’t squirm under his gaze and you willed yourself to remain quiet in the hopes that he would respond. His fingers behind you thrummed against the sofa, and his eyes darted once to the picture frame on the shelf.

“My wife died giving birth to Megumi, or right after technically.” Toji saw from the corner of his eye how your face fell, but you didn’t open your mouth to offer your condolences, so the rest of the story—his tragic past (minus the parts about the things that went bump in the night. That was for another time)—spilled out without a hope from him to stop it. By the time he was done, Toji’s nails were clawed into the fabric covering his knees, and at some point you had shimmied across the sofa closer to him so you could rest a reassuring hand on his arm. 

“I’m so sorry,” you said, voice delicate and just above a whisper. The emotional aspect of it all made it feel like his skin was crawling, but Toji worked past the sensation. “I hope I didn’t come across as insensitive earlier. All those words only apply to me and how I feel. Your choices for your future, no matter what they are, are plenty valid.” You ducked your head down to meet his eyes better, and when his met yours, the sorrow in them made your chest ache.

“I owe you another apology,” you added sheepishly, and when Toji opened his mouth to disagree, you moved the hand from his arm to hold it up to him in hopes he’d hear you out. “I acted poorly. Childishly.” 

You suddenly looked everywhere but at him, and your voice was hesitant when you spoke again. “I was being presumptuous in thinking that my decision to have children one day would matter to you. I got ahead of myself.” The whole thing felt very reminiscent of grade school “love” confessions and secret meetings. Hot embarrassment made your palms sweat and you itched to flee to the shelter of your home. 

Next to you, Toji made a wounded little noise in the back of his throat, and his spine stiffened when understanding hit him and he realized that—no matter how far-fetched it seemed at the moment—you had considered him in a glimpse of your future. The image of it, something that he hadn’t seen for himself since the day his wife died, appeared in his mind and nearly stole his breath away. 

Megumi. A wife—you this time. Children. Happiness and peace. The same terror that it could all be ripped away and he would be left alone again. 

If he had you, Toji knew he wouldn’t be able to deny you anything, but there would be no solace for him those entire nine months, and even after, should he find himself in the same shoes again. Tentative excitement and abject fear would war inside of him from the moment the two of you would commit to the idea, and if he was lucky, maybe it would abate in some reasonable amount of time after you delivered his child and lived long enough to enjoy it with him. 

Toji knew the odds of such a tragedy occurring again was low, but likelihoods and probabilities mattered little when he already knew their worst case outcome. 

“But that’s part of life, isn’t it? Doing the things that scare us because we want the chance of happiness that they could bring?”

“Presumptuousness is okay sometimes,” Toji murmured, and though your expression was hopeful, you shook your head once.

“Maybe,” you conceded, and he could tell you weren’t entirely convinced. He could see as doubt trickled into your features and turned down the corner of your lips. “The topic of children isn’t something to be left undecided or uncertain.” Your lips stayed apart and moved slightly even though nothing came out.

“I like you,” you breathed out once you seemed to regain yourself, and hearing the words out loud was a balm to Toji’s ears. “But I’m not willing to sacrifice my own happiness, not for something like this. And that’s okay. It’s also okay if you don’t want them, but that means this,” you gestured between him and yourself, “doesn’t go any father and that there’s someone else out there for each of us.” 

The memory of the man walking you to your door left a horribly bitter taste in his mouth, but Toji knew it wasn’t jealousy or possessiveness that drove his desire for you. The craving for domestic bliss, to have a person that loved him and his son had him yearning to pull you close, but the anticipation of something sinister lurking and waiting to snatch it away made him falter. 

“It’s not that I don’t want them,” Toji said, and he made sure to hold your eyes with his. “I’m scared of what happens if history repeats itself.” 

When he turned his head again to the shelf in the corner, the conversation and his reactions from that night seemed to make more sense. And now, when Toji stared at you in a way that was a little helpless and a little entreating, you were powerless to do anything but give into the thrill that hopefulness brought forth. 

“Well, your fear isn’t unfounded,” you told him gently, and he nodded in agreement, “though I’d like to think that this would be worth it.” You let your hand drop onto his and used your nails to scratch gently on the back of it. Tension bled out from his shoulders and Toji shifted forward just so he could be close enough to share the same air as you. 

Perhaps the emotional turmoil of a tragedy passed wouldn’t cease to exist overnight, but if hopeful optimism could be found in the eyes of a person who set one’s heart alight, then maybe the two of you would be just fine. 

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Time seemed to move slowly and all at once from that afternoon, and each interaction afterwards brought forth an emotion well known but newly rediscovered in light of emerald eyes and a scar in the corner of smirking lips.

Humor when Toji had wandered off to the kitchen after your talk to get a glass of water and surreptitiously inquired about the man in a suit at your door last week. There was a clatter of dishes when you made a casual off-hand remark about the quality of the view from his window, and when he returned to you without a glass in hand, looking like he was trying very hard to appear nonchalant, you couldn’t help but giggle at his expense. You had to explain that the man in a suit was just your boss dropping you off after a conference and that he came to the door to receive the gift you had for him and his wife to celebrate the arrival of their new baby. Toji had looked a little embarrassed by the end of your explanation.

Disappointment when you found out Megumi’s birthday coincided with a non-negotiable event at work and you’d have to miss it. You weren’t sure whose face was harder to look at when they each turned their pouting lips and begging eyes on you. However, when you had knocked on the door late in the evening on Megumi’s birthday, a little breathless and carrying a balloon and gourmet cupcake, the little boy had thrown himself at your legs in a fit of giddy laughter. Toji looked at you with a swirl of emotion on his face, something heady and warm, appreciative and awe-struck, a little bit adoring at the frazzled aura surrounding you. 

Abject disbelief a month later when Toji told you about things that went bump in the night and about a school that was a lot more than it seemed. You couldn’t quite wrap your head around the concept, but Toji answered any question you had, even if apprehension made him want to grab onto you and never let you go. Somehow, for some reason, you accepted it well enough with the promise that you didn’t talk about it unless absolutely necessary. Toji assured you, with a grin that was confident and proud, that he was there to ensure nothing ever happened to you. 

Love-sick even though it might have been too soon when Toji wrapped a large hand around your wrist after you said your goodbyes to him underneath the golden glow of his porch light. Megumi was already in bed, tired from a day spent out playing in fresh February snow, and when Toji tipped your head back to kiss you, the size of him became so apparent up close that it had butterflies erupting in your stomach. His hand could span your cheek while his fingers threaded into your hair. He bowed over you when his other hand pressed into your back to arch you into him, then his arm followed to encircle your waist in a grip that was ironclad. Toji chased after you when you pulled away to take in a gulp of air, and you knew right then that refusing him was never something you’d be very good at. 

When the days were still cold and Megumi could only tolerate being outside so long before the tip of his nose froze pink, most of your time together was spent cuddled on one of your couches as an endless list of movies played on the TV. Sometimes Toji would be situated in the middle with Megumi splayed across his lap and you tucked under his arm, a blanket thrown across all of you. Other times, your feet would lay on Toji’s thighs while Megumi sat back against your chest. On nights Toji would fall asleep mid-movie and his snores would be too loud to continue, you and Megumi would find yourselves in the kitchen waiting for hot chocolate to bubble on the stove while you listened to him chatter animatedly about whatever happened at school the previous day. When the hot chocolate finally cooled enough to sip on without scalding your tongues, Toji would shuffle his way into the kitchen. Megumi would be perched atop the island, legs kicking happily, and you would be leaning up against. Toji’s eyes would still be bleary with sleep, but you’d offer him your mug and he’d drop a kiss to your hair and let his hand grip at your waist. 

When the weather began to warm enough in the late spring, many an evening the three of you would sit on a blanket in the grass of a nearby park. Megumi would throw a ball or fly a kite, and you would recline in between Toji’s bent legs with a book in hand. On more than one occasion he’d stop you as you began to turn a page, and you realized that he’d been reading along from where his chin was perched on your shoulder. 

“You read too quickly,” Toji huffed, and he lifted his hand so he could flick back the page with his thumb. You angled your head back to glance at him and he used the opportunity to place a kiss on your temple. 

“I wasn’t aware you were following along.” 

“Yeah, well, I wanted to see what about it kept hogging all your attention.” Toji’s fingers danced up and down your rib cage and you shrunk back into his chest to try and flee from the tickling sensation. “Turns out it’s just some sappy romance,” he complained. 

When you recovered from laughter that pained your sides, you settled upright and brushed the hair from your face. “I’ll have you know it should get quite interesting in the next couple chapters.” You kept your voice innocently flirtatious, but Toji caught the insinuation nonetheless, and you could feel the deep hum in his chest against your back. 

As it turned out, sex was hard to come by when there was a six year old running around the house, careers to be worked for the both of you, and limited time for just the two of you. There had been nothing more for the two of you than stolen kisses around a hallway corner when Megumi was eating lunch in Toji’s kitchen and lingering looks promising something more when given the chance.

Toji must have finally had enough just a couple weeks later when he had called to inform you on a Friday afternoon that Megumi would be gone at Yuji’s for a couple of hours. You were just leaving work and had promised to be over in the shortest time you could manage, but it still felt like an eternity by the time you had stopped by your house to freshen up and change before knocking on his door. Not a second passed before he was wrenching it open and tugging you inside with a grin that was downright wicked. 

As soon as the door to his bedroom slammed shut, Toji peeled your shirt off while kissing down your neck as you fumbled with the button of his jeans. You snuck your fingers up under his shirt to run them over the muscles of his lower abdomen, and when he shivered in response you felt pride well up under your skin, but that faded quickly when Toji cupped you under your thighs to lift you and spread them around his hips. When he turned and fell back against the bed, you laughed as you caught yourself on his chest, and the smile that stretched his cheeks and the brightness of his eyes had him looking boyish, and the sight of him below you had you tearing the rest of your clothes away in a hurry. 

Toji was impressive in every aspect of himself as you would now know, but you didn’t have the opportunity to dwell on the matter when his hands were on your breasts and his lips sucked a mark just below your collarbone. He made space for himself between your legs and kissed you softly when the size of him knocked your breath away. He remained patiently still until you rolled your hips up against his and tore a moan from both your throats, and he didn’t let you know a moment’s peace until his name rang from your mouth at least three times. 

The sun was almost set when Toji’s phone pinged with a text from Yuji’s dad that they were on their way to drop Megumi off. He groaned in exhaustion from where his head rested on your stomach, and you could tell he was reluctant to pull away from how your fingers scratched at his head. With no time to waste, you managed to claw yourself out from under him to slip back into your clothes even though you had to bat away his wandering hands every other minute. Toji was quite proud of himself when he managed to steal away another couple minutes of kissing you senseless. Luckily, he had just finished pulling on his shirt as the two of you made it to the living room as the doorbell rang. 

You watched with an amused smile as Megumi staggered inside with his backpack falling off one shoulder. The poor kid was clearly worn out from a day playing out in the sun, so much so that he could only give you a half-hearted wave as Toji directed him towards his room to get ready for bed. 

When Toji came back from tucking in Megumi, you didn’t get up to gather your things and say your goodbyes. Instead, Toji leaned over the back of the couch to kiss you and whisper something in your ear that had you flushing hot from head to toe, and you didn’t resist when he led you back to his bedroom so that the two of you could indulge in one another all over again, albeit much quieter that time around. 

-----------------------------------

You woke the next morning with a quick inhalation of air through your nose, your body still attuned to the internal clock of the work week. Even though it was Saturday and the sky had just begun to blush pink, your mind urged you out of restfulness. You stretched the languidness from your muscles and took note of all the places where soreness twinged, and in favor of chasing the last remnants of blissful sleep, you rolled from your side onto your stomach and buried your face into the plushness of the pillow below. 

A puff of pine scented shampoo wafted into your nose and you blinked the rest of the room into awareness. You were not in your bed; you weren’t even in your own home, and the unfamiliar sounds around you came into focus. A fan thrummed faintly, a breeze rushed past the windows and drowned out any early noise from the street, and Toji snored softly to your right. His charcoal colored sheets were tangled up under his arms, and you recalled having to fight him for them in the middle of the night when you woke up shivering only to find out that he had a penchant for hogging the blankets. Toji hadn’t even budged at your attempts to yank them out from under him, and you eventually gave up in favor of snuggling in as close to him as you could. Thankfully, your skin sliding against his roused him enough to lift an arm for you to tuck yourself under, and you sighed at the warmth of him, your insides going soft when he curled his arm around your back so his hand could engulf your hip. You fell back asleep almost immediately after. 

At some point in the night you had drifted away from him, and now, as you were able to watch the steady rise and fall of his chest and noticed how his fingers twitched occasionally, you knew that every night you’d spend in your own bed alone would feel empty and unfulfilling. While staying overnight hadn’t been unplanned—Toji had insisted—what happened in the morning hadn’t been discussed, and you became acutely aware of the fact that there was a little boy sleeping a couple rooms down who would, most likely, be waking with the rising sun, and you had no clue as to how his father wanted to proceed.  

You sat up slowly, keeping the sheet clutched over your chest, and you scanned the floor of Toji’s bedroom to locate all articles of your clothing that you had shed the previous night. You had no intention of sneaking out, not when that alone would be detrimental to the newly cemented relationship, but you would feel more prepared for the conversation upcoming if it wasn’t done in the nude. With a swing of your legs, you made a move to push yourself off the bed, but a rustle of sheets behind you, followed by the feel of Toji’s hand skimming up your arm made you pause. 

“You leaving?” His voice was still roughened with sleep, and when you looked back over your shoulder at him, he was using his other hand to rub at his eyes. 

“No,” you said simply, “not yet. Just getting dressed.” 

Toji’s fingers tightened around the top of your arm and he tugged gently. You didn’t hesitate to follow and fall back into him. He curled you into his chest and you shivered in delight when the fingers of the arm you rested your head on found their way into your hair while his left hand reached across his body to squeeze at your waist. A pleasant sigh lifted and lowered Toji’s chest when you skimmed your fingers across it, and you had the briefest curiosity for finding out if he was as eager for you this morning as he had been last night. When he suddenly rolled on top of you and you parted your legs to make room for him, the answer became evident, because yes, he certainly was. Toji’s nose found itself in your neck as lips nuzzled into your skin, and the deep inhale he took of you made you ache. All of him was distracting, enticing in every way, and the feel of the muscles in his back shifting under your fingertips nearly had you forgetting any rational thought aside from having him again. But when the yellowing sunlight began to filter in through the window as his hands pushed up your thighs, mindfulness took the place of lust and you cleared your throat pointedly. 

“I hate to interrupt,” you whispered, and Toji paused in his pursuit of being inside of you, “but it’s almost daylight, and Megumi…” you trailed off, unsure of what to say—how to broach such a subject—and Toji made a low noise of disappointment in your ear before letting go of your legs. He lifted his head to look at you, and wiggled out from under him to sit up. You brought your knees to your chest and fiddled with the sheet around your ankles while Toji fell onto his back with a huff next to your side. The pout on his lips amused you. 

“I wasn’t sure if you were ready for him to see me with you this early in the morning, especially in yesterday’s clothes.” Toji sighed and lifted his hands to rest them under his head, and you could tell indecision warred in his mind. “I’m not against slipping out and going back home. I’d understand,” you offered to him. 

“That feels kinda wrong though,” he said, and the inside of his cheek caved as he bit down on it. He removed one hand from behind his head to trail his fingers down your spine and you shrugged lightly. 

“It’s alright. We can talk with him later.” Toji finally nodded and blew a breath of air out of the corner of his mouth before sitting up to press a kiss to your lips. His eyes were bright when you pulled away. 

“Want to come back after a while and take the kid to breakfast?” he asked. A grin took over your face and you bit down on your lip as you nodded. 

“That sounds like a good idea. I’ll head back and you can let me know once he’s up.” You narrowed your eyes at Toji in feigned annoyance. “I need a little bit to clean up , anyway.” He smirked, clearly proud of himself and not at all ashamed, and you squeaked out a noise of surprise when he launched himself at you. 

An hour and a half later found you back at the Fushiguro residence, freshly showered and dressed for a morning out. You didn’t bother knocking, and you had just opened your mouth to announce your presence when you heard bickering from down the hall. 

“It doesn’t matter what shade of blue your shirt is, Megs.” Exasperation was barely hidden in Toji’s voice. “Just put this one on so we can go.” 

“It does too,” Megumi argued, and you could clearly imagine the way Toji and his son mirrored each other's stances, arms crossed and lips twisted in a scowl as they stood adamant against the other. You giggled to yourself as you made your way down the hallway. 

“Put this one on, Megumi. I gave you a choice, but now I’m choosing. This one matches your pants just fine.” 

“Nuh uh. I don’t like it.” 

Toji sputtered. “But you told me to grab them!” 

You popped your head into Megumi’s room and rapped your knuckles against the door to get their attention. “Trouble getting ready?” 

Megumi spun to face you, and Toji turned to you with a heavy sigh of relief. Stress twitched a muscle in his cheek, and you took notice of the repeated clenching of his fist. Nothing else about his appearance though could betray his anger or frustration, and you knew the amount of self control and effort it took for him to patiently parent his son. When his eyes turned helpless, you crouched down in front of Megumi. 

“Not sure which shirt to wear?” you asked, and the little boy nodded shyly. You hummed in understanding and reached out to take one of the shirts that Toji held in his hand. You brought it close to you and held it up against the fabric of your dress, something light and casual for the morning, and lowered your head to peer into Megumi’s eyes. 

“How about this one,” you offered, “I think it’s nice, and it nearly matches the color of my dress. Wouldn’t that be fun?” Megumi’s expression lit up and he held his hands out eagerly for the shirt of choice. After passing it to him you stood, smiling softly at Toji as he mouthed a ‘thank you’ and then backed out of the room. “I’ll wait for you guys out here.” 

Just as you made it halfway back down the hall, you heard Megumi sigh in a way that sounded years older than he was. 

“Your choice was ugly anyway, Dad.” 

--------------------------

Y'all, I swear I reread my fics to proof and edit them, but surely I'll find a mistake every run through, so please forgive me for any that I didn't catch.

Thank you for reading if you do<3

[mangosrar]

The lucky one.

Chris Sturniolo x fem reader.

an: this is not proofread 😛

warnings: none

based off of this song!!!!

Somerville, boston, Massachusetts. the place you grew up loving. and the place you came to hate. not because of how cold it was or how the weather was extremely bipolar. no. boston winters were no joke but you loved winter. you hated boston because of the strings it had you on. all the ghosts that haunted every corner of it. the lost relationships.

before you left boston life was great. you, your boyfriend and his two brothers were living the high life. you were a star. your acting career had taken off when you were 16 and it was great. you loved the fast pace life. you’re boyfriend and his brothers weren’t far behind with their youtube career. they were internet sensations. everyone loved them. but all that glitter is gold and soon the glitter became suffocating. everywhere you went the media was on your tail. interviews and red carpets, talk shows, the press, they all knew you’re secrets. you had no privacy. heavy is the head that wears the crown and you couldn’t do it, so you upped and left just after you’re 21st birthday. without a word to anyone. of course you let them all know you were safe, but you left everyone behind. your family, your friends, your boyfriend, every single childhood memory you had in boston you ditched and left for dead.

2 years later, you were now 23. stood dead centre of the last place you wanted to be. every single late night adventure with your friends, every single coffee shop date with your now ex boyfriend happened here. here in this one tiny neighbourhood yet it seemed so far stretched.

your main concern for your return to boston was who you were going to bump into. you hadn’t actually thought about what you would do if you were to bump into anyone. maybe run away, maybe scream, maybe vomit. the options were endless. but as if god was dead against you, a familiar face appeared behind you in the reflection of the coffee shop window, leaving no time to decide.

“Rory?” it was if time had stopped. your heart rate sky rocketed and your mouth ran dry. it felt like someone had sucker punched you in the stomach. all of the air in your lungs made a swift escape and it felt like you were suffocating.

you turned around and saw his face. he looked different. he was taller, and more built. his hair was shorter, his facial bones were more defined. he was even more gorgeous than he used to be. but his eyes looked heavy on his face. the dark circles prominent. he looked tired.

“Chris.” you’re voice was weak and uneasy. you wanted to reach out an touch him just to check you weren’t dreaming and that your chris was actually standing in front of you.

“i didn’t know you were back in boston” chris sounded just as surprised to see you. his eyes traveled over you’re face, like he was taking a mental picture. they lingered on you’re hair for just a second longer. he noticed.

“yeah, i got here this morning” he brought a hand up to his jaw and rubbed it. his eyes were still examining you’re face. he was shell shocked.

“you changed you’re hair” he blurted out. it was true. you had always had long, curly, light brown hair. but it was now dark brown and sat just below you’re shoulders and straight.

“yeah, i uhh… needed a change” you didn’t really know what to say. this was probably the weirdest interaction you had ever had.

“you look good rora” he nodded. you internally winced at the nick name. he was the only one who ever called you that. you couldn’t even reply. you just smiled at him.

there was an abundant pause before chris spoke again.

“i’m about to go get a coffee if you wanna join me, you know, catch up and stuff” he said while gesturing to the coffee shop behind you.

“i don’t know chris i….” you trailed off. uncertainty evident.

“come on rory, 30 minutes and the best coffee in boston” he raised his eyebrows and displayed a toothy grin. there was a long pause before you replied, weighing out your options.

“how could i say no to that stupid face” you replied trying to hide your smile.

once you were both situated in a booth with a cup of coffee. you spoke first.

“does ray still own this place?” you asked.

“no uh ray died last year but you know Cody his son? he took over” chris said. glancing around the room before landing his eyes back on you. you felt your heart break a little. for years you had been coming here, almost every day after school from freshman year to senior year. in summer you would have a smoothie and in winter you would have a hot chocolate then eventually it was just coffee all year round. every time coming closer to the last. it really put things into perspective. regardless of you leaving, everybody carried on with their life and boston wasn’t waiting for you to catch up.

“oh my god, that must have been so hard. no body even told me” you instantly regretted what you said. you knew what was coming next.

“you just disappeared Rory. no one knew where you were, how were we supposed to tell you. i visited your mom and she didn’t know either. we were worried about you. i haven’t stopped worrying about you. i never even got an explanation. ” his tone was carrying a harsh undertone. helping you understand how bad it hurt. you couldn’t even look at him, the way he was obviously referring to you leaving your boyfriend in the dark, with no explanation as to why you left, making your stomach do flips.

“i didn’t disappear chris i just took my dignity and got the hell out. i had to” you told him. he nodded slowly. clearly not accepting your justification but regardless he respected you none the less. he took a sip of his coffee never making eye contact with you, before speaking.

“Nate said you bought a bunch of land,” he said breaking the awkward tension with a raise of his eyebrows in questioning. “chose the rose garden over Madison square?” he added with a smile, trying to break the tense air between you both. you let out a lousy laugh while nodding your head.

“something like that” he just sent you a knowing smile, not pressing on the subject, before his face changed into something of remorse.

“i get it tho aurora, you know it took some time but i understand it now. why you left i mean”

his eyes stayed on yours as he spoke. you said nothing as your mouth curved into a tight lipped smile. urging chris to carry on.

“cuz now everyone knows my name wherever i go and i can’t ever have that quiet life that we wanted, the one you have now, but i think you got it right”. there was nothing but sincerity plastered across his face.

“the camera flashes make it look like a fucking dream though” he hung his head again, shaking it, blowing a puff of air out of his nose, laughing.

“but you’ve had it figured out since we were in school.” you were confused. he had always wanted this life. the followers, the fame, the money, it was his dream.

“everybody wants to see hot triplet brothers having fun together and making a fool of themselves. everybody loves it.” you added, sending him an questioning raise of you’re eyebrows.

“but it’s not like that anymore, it’s big black cars and riviera views, the dates i get for the events dont even fucking know me, and our secrets end up splashed on the news front page” he said slightly raising his voice with a harsh tone, clearly needing to get it off his chest. the hand that had been waving around in the air trying to further his point comes down the fiddle with the handle of the mug in front of him.

“and they tell you that you’re lucky but it’s so confusing because like, i don’t feel good, i just feel used, and the second you’re hype is over all the new big hits line up to take you’re place you know?” he added. you did know. you knew it all too well. you didn’t even have to reply. he knew that you understood him. despite the absence between you both there was still a lot you had in common.

there was a pregnant pause, both of you just staring at each other, having so much to say but leaving it unsaid, avoiding the conversation. chris cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

“how long are you in boston for?”

“well i haven’t been back in almost a 2 years so i was planning on staying for a week or so but just being here for a few hours is make ig me hate it so i think i’m gonna get the next flight out.” you hated the fact that you were telling him this, the reason you hated it sitting right in front of you, clad in a puffer jacket and a beanie, sipping coffee.

“no!” he shouted so fast it took you back a little, your eyes widened at his sudden outburst. he cleared his throat before continuing. “um…stay for a while, come see nick and matt. my parents still ask about you all the time they would love to see you.” chris’s voice was full of hope. it broke your heart. he really hadn’t changed at all.

“i can’t chris”. you watched his face fall as you replied. your voice was small and sad.

“why rory? what’s the worst that could happen?” it was a silly question really. he knew the answer. “you know what, i know why you won’t. i know you like the back of my hand aroura. you’re scared you’re gonna love it too much and you won’t wanna leave. youre scared of this” he gestured between the two of you. “you’re scared that you’re gonna come to the realisation that you don’t hate being back in boston, you hate the fact that it’s exactly where you should be”. he had you all figured out. he couldn’t have been more correct if the reason had walked up to him and slapped him straight in the face. but that scared you even more. the way he knew you so well, after all this time.

“i’m scared”. you nodded. completely putting all your vulnerability on display as tears gathered in your water line. he reached over and took your hands in his. staring so deeply into your eyes you we’re sure he could see your thoughts.

“don’t be. whatever happens, it will all work out. you might decide to stay, you might decide to run off again in the next 20 minutes, but if you do i won’t be mad and i wont try to stop you, because i know that you gave it a chance. so please aroura, give me a chance. let it figure itself out. it’s all going to be fine. i promise” his voice was quiet and comforting, and in that exact moment he stopped talking. you realised you were the lucky one. you were lucky that even though you were both 23 now, no longer silly teenagers in love, you were still the same kids you used to be. you were lucky that he was still willing to stand by you. you were lucky that he somehow had the answer for everything, he knew exactly what to say to you. just like he always did, even after all this time. he was still there waiting for you with open arms. this was where you were meant to be.

_______________________ ________________________

i love this so much he’s so cute i just wanna put him in my pocket and eat him. 😃

@christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @soursturniolo @freshlovehacker @cupidtoast @kitaysworld @urmyslxt @kvtie444 @flowerxbunnie @lividnity @sturnphilia @sturniolostvrs @hedgehogperalta @delimeats-000 @daddyslilchickenfingers @kenzieiskoolaid

[rottedberries]

One of One: Part 1

Summary - It's been two months since Astarion has left your camp since that night in Cazador's palace where everything went wrong. In the events of severely misguided judgement you find yourself bleeding out in a dark alley, in his arms one last time, spending your last fleeting moments with him.

Tags - Hurt / comfort, angst, depictions of death and dying, happy ending, vampire tav, nb tav

Notes - I accidentally picked the wrong option when trying to talk Astarion out of the ascension, and got told to die before he left my party forever. Me and my sister couldn't stop thinking about him regretting his actions once he came back to his senses and soon after this piece was born. I wanted it to be a short 3k piece, but as always I went overboard. There will be a part 2, but hopefully for now this will suffice.

Word Count - 5,832

AO3 Link

“I would say good luck out there, but honestly? I hope you die screaming.” 

He left, and he was gone. You tried to not act like a dog, a lovesick puppy waiting for its owner to return home, but you couldn’t help yourself. Ever since that night in Cazador’s palace, your dreams had been filled with nightmares, and wishes that had yet to come true. Waking up to find the red tent adorned with gaudy pillows and spilled goblets of blood that you loved oh so much, back in the place that it belonged in your camp. But instead, all that laid was an empty spot where the drops of rain soaked the ground underneath leaving a stench of mud and rocks. Completely washing away whatever of Astarion’s scent used to linger. 

It was because of that empty spot, the more you looked at it, the more your head span. You could only focus on your mistakes of that night, and everything that went wrong. If only you had tried harder . There could have been better words to say, now that everything was over and done with. Hindsight was 20/20, but in the moment it seemed like every thought, every word died out on the tip of your tongue as fast as you tried to will them out of your mouth. 

In front of you, was someone you loved, overcome with want and power. So toxic that it clung to the air in thick waves in a way that made the blood spilled from the enemies just defeated more potent than before. When you found yourself staring into Astarion’s eyes, you couldn’t see the man that you were talking to outside the palace a few hours prior. His eyes now bright with bloodlust, yet empty…with something else, lying there underneath the surface. Something you couldn’t quite pick out as much as you tried. And as you stared at him, trying to decipher it, Astarion just stared back…begging, in a voice so demanding, yet childlike…so desperate. 

The emotions flooding the room, the thoughts clouding your head, it was too much for you to wrap your head around. Fear clogged up your throat, and airways, making the simplest breaths the hardest to gasp for. You couldn’t find rhyme or reason to deny him. There was no logic in your brain that could describe why this was wrong , you just knew it was. 

Instead of trying to reason, to beg, to reach out to that scared boy trapped in a body adorned with 200 years worth of scars, you stood still, and denied. Giving no reason, just your feet planted firmly on the ground, not even finding it in yourself to move or reach out. 

And he begged . He begged even harder than he had before…the softest ‘ please ’ falling from his lips. 

Yet you still found yourself saying no. 

Then it was all over. You watched as Astarion dug his fangs into Cazador’s neck, drinking up his blood before driving a knife into his heart over and over and over again, screaming with every pierce and new puncture wound. All that was left was a room stained in blood, and anguished cries that pierced your heart so deep you found pressure building behind your eyes, threatening to let loose as well. And what came after were words filled with hatred, an expression forever burned into your memory that you still see it every time you close your eyes. 

‘ I’m done with you. I would say good luck out there, but honestly? I hope you die screaming.’

You tried, you really did try to get Astarion back after that. Your feet were finally able to move, and you pushed them as hard as you could, as fast as you could go. Your hands outstretched, trying to grab onto his shoulder, arm- the waistline of his pants. But he didn’t care, he didn’t even spare you a look; just carelessly shoved you off of him and left. 

That was the last time you had seen him. 

You don’t have the exact date of the last time you saw him, but it had to have been at least a month by now…maybe two. With Astarion’s bright and sardonic personality missing from the camp, it seemed like the days had started to blend together. While you still had the rest of your party, and you were thankful they were alive and well, you couldn’t bring yourself to care when you had driven out the one person you cared for most. 

Since then, you had become brash, reckless, and careless. A part of you couldn’t tell if it's because you wanted to punish yourself for being a horrible leader, or if you’d simply lost the ability to care about the world saving adventure you had found yourself on.

Lae’Zel had already had more than a few choice words for you, and recently it seems they were getting stronger and more rude as time went on and the more you kept messing up. Everyone else barely bit their tongues either. Even someone like Shadowheart who had been with you when it happened, getting a first hand show at the fight that took place, was starting to get fed up with you. Her temper becoming shorter, until she had finally found you and cornered you against a wall in camp last night. 

“We’re all going through our own problems while also having to deal with the Absolute, and you have been nothing but supportive and helping with everyone here- I’d probably be dead without your guidance.” 

She started off, it was something small and sweet, which only made you dread her words when she continued the rest of her sentence.

 “And I want to be there for you too while you deal with your own pain- but quite frankly, you’re going to get us killed at this point. I didn’t make it this far to have someone make some brain dead decisions right at the end.

I am more willing to lend an ear, to help in whatever way I can, but if you don’t reach out and proceed on this suicide mission then I’m out…and I’m sure a lot of the others are going to be too.”

There was a pause of silence, you could barely meet her eyes, let alone reply. Whatever choice she gave you to reply and defend yourself, you didn’t take. You just let her keep going. 

“I don’t know what you and Astarion had going on, but it was obviously something very special. It sucks that he’s not around anymore, but if you let this cost your life- cost everything we have worked for up to this point - then I have severely misjudged your intelligence and your priorities. Get it together.” 

With her lecture out of the way, she was gone, stalking off back towards her tent. 

You couldn’t even find it in yourself to be angry at her words and accusations. Because she wasn’t wrong. And you had been anything but a leader for the past few months, yet somehow your team stayed. Though all those thoughts met little nothing to now and you wished it did.

-

It was another day, or night technically, and it had been one of the best ones in awhile. Taking Shadowheart’s words into consideration, you tried your best to be better. It was obvious your mind still wasn’t in it all the way, but at least the day had passed without any misjudged bow shots into your teammates backs instead of the enemies; or conversations that turned into fights when they could’ve easily been schmoozed out of. 

Dinner had recently ended, and everyone had retreated to their tents or their cots for the night. You found yourself on your back, staring absently at the night sky, heavy with dark rain clouds, threatening to spill torrential rain at any second. The cold chill of an upcoming storm was already blowing itself through camps, lifting up tarps and trying its best to put out the campfire. You were already restless tonight, but the howling of the wind only made it worse. Every sharp sting of air flying past you and biting at your face only made it harder, every time you tried to slip your head under the blanket you just ended up feeling claustrophobic and suffocated. There was no winning. 

So you were left with your head outside, facing the cold night. Every few minutes you would toss back and forth on your sides, and on your back. You’d sit up, fluff your pillow, and lay back down somehow more uncomfortable than before. You did everything from trying to count sheep, to singing your favorite songs in your head to get yourself to relax. After a couple hours though, it was no use. The rain started not long ago, but the soft pitter of the drops on the ground was a hindrance to your focus on sleeping instead of a welcomed white noise. When it was obvious that you weren’t sleeping for a while, you saw no point in keeping on trying. The fire has burnt down to its bare embers, it was cold and dark and suddenly you were craving the warmth of the indoors and maybe an alcoholic drink to really warm the cold emptiness that lingers inside your chest. 

It's with that thought that creeps up and lingers in your brain for the majority of the hour that finally gets you up, urging you to slip on your shoes and grab your backpack, slipping in some gold and your journal. Your camp clothes will have to do for now, as you don’t see much of a point to get properly dressed in your gear to go sit down and drink somewhere. It’s after you have everything packed up when you grab a hooded cloak from your chest and leave the camp quietly, adventuring back to the lower city. 

You arrive at the pub just in time for the rain to change from a steady downpour of small drops to a cacophony of large wet globs pelting against the windows and roof top, making itself heard even over the cheering and loud laughter of everyone's drunken banter. You slip inside easily enough, removing your hood once you’re fully inside. It only takes a moment to take in the sight in front of the you- red faced patrons clinking their mugs and letting sour liquid spill onto their hands. The strong scent of alcohol seeping from everyone's breaths mixed with the fresh cooked food swimming through the air. There’s a mixture of singing and dancing as everyone is in high spirits, but also hushed, serious conversations taking place in the corner of the room. Passed out strangers, sleeping away the night with their head in their arms at the tables tucked away. 

This was perfect. 

Busy enough that the background of people will keep your mind from wandering to unwanted thoughts. It also meant no one would pay attention to you. 

“What will it be?” The bartender asks as you make your way up to the counter. Her lips are pursed, she looks tired, and a bit on edge. It was obvious her shift had been going on for too long, but she was trying her best to keep a friendly facade up. 

“Rum.” You speak back plainly, as you drop a bag of gold on the counter. “The entire bottle preferably.” 

She nods, not even giving any cheeky commentary akin to ‘rough day?’ like you would expect someone to comment when buying a whole bottle of alcohol for yourself. Instead she grabs the bottle from under the counter and slams it down with a silver cup before pocketing the gold pieces handed to her. 

“Holler if you need anything, dear,” She draws out in a slow and monotone voice. 

You don’t bother saying anything else to her as you grab the neck of the bottle and the handle of the cup before making your way to a dark quiet corner of the tavern and sitting yourself on one of the uncomfortable wooden chairs. You make sure to get your space set up before you crack open the lid on the bottle. Pulling out your journal and the small portable jar of ink and quill you brought before finally pouring your first drink. 

You take a deep breath, steady yourself as the deep liquid looks back at you. For a second you swear you can see your reflection in the liquid, empty eyes, dark bags, a hideous frown. It just gives you more of an incentive to drink, to forget for just a little bit. 

Down the hatch. 

With a deep breath, you gulp down the first shot of rum and suppress a shudder at the pungent taste, how it burns your throat and thickly coats your mouth in consistency of syrup, yet tastes like stale sugar. You take pleasure in the warmth that soon comes after though, spreading from your core to your hands and feet. You can already feel the pleasant tingle of your nerves finally relaxing, of your body accepting the alcohol as a substitute for a human’s touch, like the big hug you’ve been yearning for. 

You can’t help but take another shot right away. 

-

If you’re being honest, you can’t tell how much time has passed. It’s had to at least have been an hour or two, maybe more. The tavern had cleared out a little bit, but it was still quite busy. Even with a few less faces, the chatting and laughter seemed to be louder than when you first entered. It doesn’t bother you, you had quickly let it become background noise as you buried yourself in your journal and shots of Rum.

Already the bottle was a 4th gone, and while you felt pretty coherent at the moment you could tell that the effects would be hitting you sooner than later. It was only at this point in your tipsy state that you realized maybe you should’ve left a note at camp or something, in case you couldn’t find your way back there tonight. 

It was fine. 

Your body had a good auto pilot, it was good at getting where it needed to be even when you didn’t know what was going on. 

The thought quickly fades as you pour yourself another drink and gulp it down, before going back to cataloging your thoughts on paper. 

-

You’re wet. 

Wet with rain. 

But not just rain. 

There’s something else there. 

Thick, reeking of copper, and metal. 

You cough and more of it spits up, overwhelming your senses as you empty the contents onto the ground in front of you. 

Red, so much red. More red than you have ever remembered coughing up before in battle. 

That’s when the dread finally washes over you like a harsh slap to the face. It is more sobering than any other remedy you have ever tried in your life. It’s then you go from barely existing in reality, seeing everything through a blurred lens to being too aware of everything around you, snapping back into yourself like you never have done before.

You’re outside, far away from the tavern, but still in the Lower City. You barely recognize where you are, but if you had to guess you were trying to make it back to camp, but not doing a good job at it. With every step your whole body shakes. Putting weight on your ankle makes you want to topple over. It has to be at least sprained, if not broken. You pull out your hands to examine them and instantly notice they’re swollen. Red, puffy, knuckles, sporting drops of blood from the small cracks in the skin. Your head pounds not unlike when getting your head smashed into a wall, and lifting your hand up to your head you can feel a bump before you hiss at the pain of touching the blossoming bruises starting to take place. 

This wasn’t good. 

From the small amount of damage you could assess on your body you could already tell this was bad. 

You feel like you’re on death's doorstep, moments away from collapsing and perishing in the streets. Every small shuffle with your feet feels like you were pushing your body to its extreme limits and pretty soon it was about to give up. 

There’s no way to heal yourself, you didn’t pack any potions and all the shops are closed for the night. 

The panic is dulled because of the alcohol, but is still present, you feel yourself freaking out in your core. Camp isn’t far, but there’s a part of you that’s certain you won’t be able to make it. You could try crawling, dragging yourself with your arms, but that seems more unlikely than trying to just walk the rest of the way there. 

Maybe you could make it. Not all hope is lost yet, you’ve been in worse situations. 

It’s right after the small sliver of hope you try to will and grab onto, that the world seems determined to prove you wrong. Another set of coughs destroy your body, sending you off balance as you bend in half to grip your aching ribs. More blood spills from your mouth and joins the rain on the concrete below you. You cough, and cough, and more comes out, it's seemingly endless, and when you’re done, you’re left feeling lightheaded and like you need a long nap. Just simple sleep. 

Your body is at its limits. You’re not even halfway to camp. There’s no way out of this one this time. 

You really fucked yourself. 

You must really be on a suicide mission if you’re dumb enough to get black out and start a fight at the bar. At least you went out fighting, you hoped you at least took one or two of them down with you. You could feel it in your body how you were outnumbered though, bruises and cuts sprouting from all over your body. 

There was no way you were ever going to win. 

Maybe you just wanted someone to put you out of your misery so you didn’t have to do it yourself. 

You’re barely able to make it to the alley on your left as you stumble your way between two buildings. Your body trips on nothing and slams into the stone wall, making you fall to the ground ungracefully as ever. With the last strength in your body, you pull yourself into a sitting position, slouching against the wall, but quickly slump back over. 

The wall is spinning, the sky is spinning, you feel like you’re going in circles. The rain is more cold than ever, and you pull your cloak tighter around your body, but it seems to just trap in the chill. You cough, and more blood spills out. Your head pounds, your chest aches, and your ankle moans in pain. 

Maybe if you’re lucky some poor fucker will see you and take pity on your sad self. Maybe if you just close your eyes, you’ll be able to gain enough strength to make the way back to camp and you can have Shadowheart patch you up. 

Just a few minutes. 

That’s all…

It can’t end here…

But you can’t push yourself any further for now…

You just need to rest real fast…

That’s all….

….

You feel yourself on the very edge, your final breath lingering on the tips of your lips as you try to give way to sleep, but something is calling out your name. 

You really must be dying. 

The voice sounds faintly like Astarion. 

It’s pathetic how even on your deathbed you can only think about him. Your dying vision is him calling out for you one last time. 

The voice continues to get louder, and you feel like every shout is leading you closer to death, your hallucination slowly becoming more reality than dream. There comes a point where it becomes too real though, and your brain fights itself between accepting this dream and realizing this was real. A thick shadow looms over you, blocking out the lights from outside the alley. The voice is loud in your ear, panicked and calling out louder than before. 

He couldn’t really be here, right?

Astarion wanted nothing to do with you before, there’s no way he’s calling out now. 

He said he hoped you died screaming. 

If we really were here, he should be laughing, delighted that he got the chance to see your body withering away on the streets by random chance. 

“...As-tarion….?” You croak out, your voice so hoarse from coughing that it's barely there anymore. It’s stupid to hope, you’re probably just talking to air, but you try anyways. If this is real, then this is your last chance. 

The figure is kneeling now, right by your body. A gentle hand scoops under your head, and another hooks under knees before your body is being shifted. You wince but let yourself be manhandled, it’s not like you have much of a choice or can put up a fight. You’re pulled into a lap, you can feel crossed legs underneath you, against your back. One arm continues to cradle your neck and keep your head up, while the other frees the wet hair sticking to your face. 

This has to be real right? Your body wouldn’t move like this on its own. 

“As-” You open your mouth to try and call out to him again, but you’re quickly stopped with a finger being pushed to your lips and a quiet ‘shh’ noise.

“Yes, it's me.” He speaks. 

“What are you- Why are you-” You have so many questions, that your mind can’t choose which one to ask first. You’re still trying to comprehend if this is true. 

Because he’s here, he’s actually here. You can feel his hands all over you, his body pressed up against yours. You see him, feel him, hear him. In some twist of cruel fate, he came back. All it took was you ending your life for him to show up again. You can’t decide if it’s worth it. Because you get one last chance to see his smile, how his laugh lines move as his lips quirk upward. You get one last chance to see his expressive eyes that seem to give him away when he’s not quite 100% in the act he’s putting on. You get one more chance to finally apologize, to say all the things you’ve been thinking about for weeks. 

“ I’m so sorry-” You find yourself saying. If you’re going to die, at least maybe you can get the apology you’ve been practicing in your head before it's all over. 

“I never meant…God, I’m so sorry.” Your voice cracks, and you can feel yourself getting choked up. Your already sore throat hurts even more, but you keep pushing. You need to get this out.  

“You were hurting, and I turned you down- wouldn’t even say anything- just denied you.” Your mouth is moving faster than your brain, the rehearsed apology being quickly thrown out the window. You’re going to die soon, you need to get this out now before you’re gone forever. “I was just…scared- and I didn’t know what to do- I-I fucked up though and made you think I wasn’t on your side..I’m-God- I’m sorry-” 

You feel tears slide down your face and they burn the tender bruises forming on your cheeks, but you can’t stop. You keep blabbering, saying the same three sentences over and over again, not being able to comprehend anything, just trying to talk, to get him to forgive you. And eventually, there’s another set of fingers being placed on your lips, shushing you again. And you quiet right away, you feel like you can barely breathe. 

“It’s- Okay.” He seems choked up, lost in his own thoughts. He takes a second to work out his words, but you can tell he is thinking hard about them. His voice isn’t filled with malice like it was last time. It’s soft, and gentle this time. It’s serious. 

“I see that now.” He finally decides on his words, and loosely shifts in his arms to stare up at his face. 

It really is him . 

“I was so focused on something that I had been denied for so long…I let it control all my thoughts and actions. I didn’t realize how far gone I was. I just wanted…revenge…to get my life back. To feel in control for once. I couldn’t take being denied that again, and I didn’t want anyone who wouldn’t support me. I just wanted…closure.” 

As he talks, you stare at him and take everything about him in. The rain has let up, the clouds finally parting just enough for the moonlight to peek through. It shines brightly on Astarion’s hair, casting a halo highlight. His eyes are soft, but the deep red that you love. His expression changes with every single word he speaks, a frown tugging at his lips as he talks to you. He’s beautiful. He’s more beautiful than you remember. 

“But I left, and it didn’t take me long to calm down and realize my mistake. You were right . And I didn’t notice at the time..but you were scared. I keep playing that night over in my head and - Gods - I can only see how terrified you were. I did that… ” his voice fades out, and you feel more tears slip down your face. 

This can’t be real. This is a dream. Because Astarion is pouring his heart out to you, holding you in his arms, apologizing while you’re on your deathbed. 

It’s like a cliche dream come true, the best case scenario you could have pictured when you think about your death.

It feels so real though. It has to be. 

“I made you scared. I never want to do that again. But I couldn’t bring myself to come back…not yet at least. I would never forgive anyone if acted the way to me that I acted towards you-” 

“I’ve prayed every night that you would come back- you’ve been in my dreams- you’ve-” You cut him off, needing him to know how much you want him back. How much you forgive him, but you can’t talk long before you heave a heavy cough and can feel even more blood sliding down the corner of your lips.

“ Gods.. ”He breathes out a heavy, heartbroken sigh as he thumbs away the blood soiling your face. 

His touch is the lightest thing you’ve ever felt, especially after the beating you suffered earlier in the night. Your whole body screams in pain, but every place that he touches is a personal cure all, you don’t feel any pain at all in his arms. His hands aren’t warm, yet somehow they are warming your body, filling you up like the alcohol did, but ten times stronger. You can feel your stomach flipping over itself, fluttering at every touch. You missed him so much. 

“What happened to you?” He asks in shock, holding your face, sliding his thumb along your cheek to catch whatever stray tears linger as he stares into your eyes. 

“I…don’t…know…” You admit, pitifully, darting your eyes away from his as you answer the question. 

He raises an eyebrow at you, wordlessly encouraging you to keep talking. So you do, as best as you can. You speak in short, simple sentences, your apology from before taking the most of your brain power and energy. You explain drinking to clear your thoughts, and coming back to on the street. You talk about the pain in your ankle, in your chest and hands. He looks at you the entire time, his face morphing into different expressions as you retell certain parts of your night and you can feel the judgment from him seeping into your bones…though the care he has for you over powers it. The gentle feeling of fingers carding through your hair, detangling the strands, the gentle rubbing motion of his fingers on your arm. It’s like he’s single handedly feeding warmth back into your body, even if it isn’t enough to keep you alive, it's enough to prolong your death. 

“What are you doing out here?” You ask at the end of your explanation, not giving him a chance to comment on your decision making skills of the night. Maybe he’ll stay with you until you fade away. That would be nice, dying in his arms. You couldn’t imagine a more perfect way to go. 

“Making my way to the woods…” He starts, and quickly fades off leaving you to fill the blank.

Oh right, he must be starving. Back to animals, you were guessing. You almost feel guilty for doing that to him, even though he was the one that left in the first place. Your eyebrows just shoot up and your eyes widen at his response as you nod ever so slightly, telling him you understand. 

“Were you ever going to come back?” You ask after another beat of silence. 

You really shouldn’t be talking, but you can’t help but keep asking questions. You need answers, and you need your own closure. You need to lay here, life slowly draining your body and listen to his voice as it carries you into the afterlife. You can already feel your eyes get heavier with every word you breathe out. You can feel air being harder to take in, just becoming shallow and soft. 

“I- '' It seems like he is going to respond seriously, but can sense the change in your condition and suddenly his calm demeanor completely switches as he cries out, not being able to keep his act going anymore. 

“You’re fucking dying!” 

He screams into the night, at your face and you frown. You are dying, it's not by your choice and you’d change if you could. 

“- fuck-! ” He cries out, and you feel the gentle presence of a healing spell being washed over you. But, it doesn’t do much, just takes you back from the edge of blacking out. Your vision clears for a moment, yet your body still aches, and you can barely breathe. Blood still leaks from your mouth. The only difference is your eyes don’t feel so heavy anymore. 

“We need to get you back, hold on-” His grip tightens on you, and you use all the strength you have in your body to reach out and wrap your hand around his arm to get his attention and shake your head. 

“Don’t move…I’m not going to make it…” Your voice gets quieter with every word, it seems your vocal chords are finally giving out on you. 

“I came here to die like a pathetic stray animal once I realized I had no chance.” 

He washes another light spell over you, but just like before it only helps for a few seconds before you go back to feeling worse than ever. 

“There’s no way you’re giving up now. ” He speaks through gritted teeth, annoyance and disbelief fills him. “After everything? A stupid bar fight is what puts an end to you?” 

You want to laugh because it's true. What a pathetic way to go out. 

“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” 

His eyes narrow at your choice of words and you swear if a light breeze of wind wouldn’t currently knock you on your ass, he would reach out and swat at your arm. 

“No. No, this isn’t the end.” 

Astarion attempts to stand again, but just like before you shoot your hand out to stop him, pleading with his name on your lips. He stops once more and looks down at you, wide eyes of terror meeting your own. 

“I mean it…it’s over for me, I wouldn’t even make it- and the others don’t need to see me like this. Just let them think I ran off on my own in the middle of the night or something-” 

Astarion opens his mouth to interject, but you stop him and keep talking with the last strength you have in your body. 

“Please…just stay here…” You take a break to wheeze in a pathetic breath of air, and continue. “I don’t ask for much…just, this is perfect. You are all I need. Just one last kiss, and send me off on my way.” 

He wants to fight, you see it in every bone in his body. But he’s at a loss, he can either leave you and let you die alone, or follow your wishes. It’s obvious if he tries to take you to camp you’ll fight the whole way there. This alley is your deathbed, that’s all there is too it. 

“...Fine…” He relents, with another heartbroken sigh. His eyes are on your face, soaking up your features because it's the last time he’s ever going to get to see them. 

His fingers trace the curve of your cheeks, the bridge of your nose and rough skin of your lips. They run across your eyelashes, and smooth over your eyebrows. They dance along your neck, and make their way to your collar bones before moving up to your ear, playing with the cartilage of it. Every move he makes is practiced, purposeful, calculated. He has intent with every touch, his face twisting into something so serious and focused as he stares down at you. As his fingers move and continue to spread warmth and love into your body, he starts to lean down and you try your best to meet him halfway. He stops you though, and tells you to let him do all the work. Eventually  you feel his lips against yours. 

Something so soft, a feather like kiss that almost feels like it wasn’t even there in the first place. You let his breath take your last as you breathe into his mouth. You move ever so slightly, leaning into his touch, to grab more of him, take whatever you can before it's too late. You strain yourself, pushing yourself over the edge as you lift your arm and wrap it around his neck, letting yourself play with the soaked white curls at the nape of his neck. He sighs in content and kisses you deeper, taking every bit of strength that you have left. 

You feel the world fading around you, slowly but sure coming to a halt. Everything is starting to feel dull, his touch, his heat, the cold air outside…it's all starting to feel so far away. And you’re realizing you’re ready. All you wanted was one last kiss and you’d be set.

Astarion pulls away as your eyes blink, and slip closed for one last time. 

The last sensation you feel before you’re pulled under is a deep, sharp shooting pain in your neck.  

[xdaddysprincessxx]

Insatiable Desire

Uncle Ezra x f!reader

Warnings: Feelings 😬 , small mention of ice cream and gummy worms, somno, p in v, uhh that’s mostly it. Not edited or beta’d. All mistakes are mine.

Wc: 1680ish

When you woke up a couple hours later, he was already long gone. Your own emotions all jumbled. You find yourself cuddling your pillow, longing for it to be him. You can still smell his scent on your bed sheets. As badly as you wanna give in to him and your emotions, you know you’ve gotta stop this now. You can’t go getting attached to your Uncle Ezra. He’s an like an uncle to you for gods sake. He should be teaching you how to fish or roasting you for your choices in boyfriends and fashion. Not fucking you and ruining you for any other man.

‘Ugghhh I’m so going to hell. What the fuck am I doing?? Falling for my uncle?! Jesus Christ I’m a sick fuck.’ You think as you finally roll out of bed, collecting your shorts as you put them on to go down the street to the convenient store. You are gonna drown your emotions in some delectable cookies and cream ice cream and gummy worms and move on.

Later. . .

It’s been almost a week since the last time you’ve seen him. He’s moved into the room next to yours and sometimes at night you hear him but you honestly haven’t seen or talked to him. You’ve picked up more shifts at work, working more doubles to keep your mind and body busy. And it works. By the time you come home, you’re barely able to shower before falling into bed, dead to the world. No thoughts of the man you crave ever crossing your mind.

Friday morning you wake up, taking a little extra time to do your makeup and hair for work today. There’s a cute new waiter at work and boy does he have heart eyes for you. A blind man could see the kid has a crush on you. You can’t lie, the attention is nice. You aren’t fully sure if you like like him back or if you just like the attention you get from him. Either way it’s not Ezra and there’s no harm in a little flirting.

Coming down the stairs to grab a pop tart before heading out, you see your dad and Ezra sitting at the table. It’s the first time you’ve seen him and you notice he got a haircut. And he shaved? He still has that delicious mustache but the surrounding stubble is gone. Wearing a black tshirt that hugs his huge arms just right, showcasing his soft tummy and some dark wash jeans that fit so snug you can see how muscular his thighs are. You practically stop in your tracks, almost frozen before you realize your just gawking.

“Good morning kiddo, how’d you sleep? I feel like I haven’t seen ya in awhile.” Ezra asks as he gives you this shit eating grin that lets you know he noticed you staring.

Your cheeks heat up as you try to clear your throat,

“Good morning. Yea I’ve been working a lot. Been short staffed so they need me.” You say trying to act cool even though it came out in a higher pitched tone.

“That’s my girl! Hard worker just like her daddy.” Your dad says with his chest puffed out and a big grin on his face.

“Yup ha ha. Okay well I’m gonna head out. See ya guys.”

You couldn’t turn and walk out of there fast enough, almost tripping over your own feet as you sped towards the door.

It’s a little after midnight by the time you come home. Your feet hurt and your body is sore as you trudge up the stairs. Taking the quickest shower ever, you finally make it to your bed where you crawl under the covers, not even bothering to put pajamas on. As soon as your head hit the pillow, you were lights out. Quickly on your way to dreamland.

It started out dark, as if your eyes had just opened in your dream and had to adjust. You blink a few times before you realize where you are. Your favorite beach, sitting on soft quilt. The ocean breeze still a little chilly, causing you to bring your knees up as you hug them to your chest. That’s when you notice Uncle Ezra come out of the water, nude as the day he was born. Smiling and waving at you, you smile and wave back. Feeling carefree and relaxed. He walks up to you on the quilt when you look down and realize your also naked. Kneeling down he grabs your chin and pulls you in for a kiss. You reach up and pull him down on top of you. His cock just magically goes right in as he lays on top of you. But it feels so real. You know it’s a dream but you can’t help but notice how your physical body feels. He rocks into you a few times but something just feels off to you.

Outside of dreamland, Ezra wraps his arm around your torso to hold you tight to him as his other arm goes underneath your body, hand coming up to cover your mouth. Having spit on his dick to lube up, as he pushed into your noticeably wet heat. Not really even needing the extra added wetness.

‘Must be dreaming of me’ he thinks smugly as he gently rocks into you. He noses the side of your neck as he breathes in your scent. He pushes all the way to the hilt and stops. Throbbing his dick a few times before slowly pulling out. He begins to thrush, shallow at first so he doesn’t jostle you awake too quick. After a few thrusts is when he notices your breathing starts to pick up, he can tell your starting to wake up.

Your eyes slowly flutter open, you’re in your bed. Something feels weird, like your wrapped in your blankets too tightly. There’s something warm on the side of your neck. .

“Shh baby gotta stay quiet for me okay?”

Your eyes shoot wide open when you hear him whisper into your ear, his hand quickly covering your mouth. Your once sleep foggy brain is now wide awake. Now you realize why he felt so real in your dream.

“Mmfmmfffm”

“What’s that kiddo?” Ezra loosens his hold over your mouth as he thrusts deep inside and grinds.

“Ez - ez oooh mm” is all you manage to softly moan out,“W-what are you doing?”

“I missed my girl. I came in here to see if you were awake. I’m sorry baby I just couldn’t help myself. You looked so beautiful sleeping.”

You can’t believe he’s actually fucking you right now. And yet he feels so good rocking into you at this angle. His arms wrapped around you as he takes you. You can’t even form a coherent thought, all you can manage is

“Mm oh fuck, oh fuck, I- I missed you Uncle Ez oh fuck I missed you.” You whimper out, feeling your impending orgasm quickly approaching.

His arms somehow seemed to tighten even more as his thrusts start to speed up. His mouth by your ear as he pants, sticking his tongue out to lick your ear lobe before biting down softly, nibbling on the appendage.

Your orgasm comes crushing just as his own hits him. Pleasure so strong, both your mouths drop open as soft whines and whimpers tumble out. Your own hands grabbing at his arms, holding on for dear life as wave after wave crashes over you.

You both lay there for what feels like forever, just holding onto one another before you turn around in his arms to face him. Looking into his eyes you find a little courage to finally say what you should’ve said awhile ago, you breathe in as your lips part,

“Before you say anything I know you’ve been avoiding me pretty girl.” Ezra says, cutting you off.

“I-I -“

“Shh, I’m not as stupid as you think I am.” He says with a chuckle

“I don’t think you’re stupid,” you say with chagrin, “really it’s me who’s stupid. If I’m honest I i- I missed you. A lot. I I’m sorry.”

And there goes your original plan to cut things off with him. Going down the drain. Yea you’re going to hell for this. But fuck it. You want this with him. You like him. And god does it feel relieving to say it out loud.

“It’s just. . You’re my uncle a-and. . ,” you sigh, “I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. I really like you? I guess. That sounds so pathetic and childish but I do. I want you all to myself.”

You manage to spit out before looking down, unable to hold his gaze as you confess your feelings.

“Hey look at me.” He says softly as he puts his finger under your chin to lift your face to look up at his,

“I like you too baby. You’re not pathetic or childish. Hell you’ve had me hooked way before I ever got a taste of your sweet cunt, pretty girl. You’re mine, baby. And I’m yours.”

Your eyes widen as those words leave his lips. Ezra closes the gap between you and softly kisses your stunned lips.

Ezra pulls away with a sad expression,

“Unfortunately I got some bad news babydoll. I gotta leave for a bit. Nothing bad just a work trip but I’ll be gone for a month at most. Hopefully. You gonna miss me?”

“Yea” you whisper softly as your eyes fill with tears wanting to overflow and run down your cheeks.

“Let’s just enjoy this night honey, let’s not worry about the future or tomorrow. Nothing else matters but me and you, right here right now.” He says with a definite tone as he nudges your nose with his. You nudge his nose back and smile,

“‘Kay”

You press your lips against his as you fall into him. Tongues exploring the others mouth, lips caressing the other, you and your uncle Ezra spend what feels like hours just getting lost in each others kiss.

A/n: soooo how are we feeling? 🙂 I will warn you, yes we are feeling feelings and expressing them however Uncle Ezra is a manipulative, greedy man. At the end of the day he is fully using her. No this will not end well but the end is not close, so let’s enjoy this ride babies

[songbird-and-her-fos]

My anxiety has been acting up today so here is Emmrich taking care of Rook when being the hero starts wearing them down.

The Weight of the World

Emmrich/NB!Rook

Rook is only mortal, and the weight of the world resting on their shoulders takes its toll, no matter how hard they try to hide it.

-

Evening fell over Thedas, at least as far as the inhabitants of the Lighthouse would be able to tell, and Emmrich had noticed Rook being suspiciously absent during the day. They never missed meals, or training, or the book club otherwise, so it was even more noticable, like there was a big, Rook-shaped hole whenever everyone got together. Even during days where they needed some solitude to recharge, they usually sought out Emmrich at least *once*.

He found his suspicion confirmed when Manfred came clattering into the room, looking as alarmed as someone without facial muscles could. “Rook. Not well.”

There was no answer when Emmrich knocked on the door to Rook’s room.

“Darling? Is everything alright?” Again, no reply.

He slowly pushed down the doorhandle and entered, finding Rook on the chaise they usually slept on, bundled up in several blankets. It took a moment for Emmrich to realize that they were doing the breathing exercises usually taught to young necromancers, to help the mind settle. Only that Rook didn’t look settled in the least; their face was ashen, with bloodshot, glossy eyes staring at nothing in particular.

Emmrich closed the door behind him and approached Rook. “Dearest?”

Rook flinched out of their exercise, and their eyes focused on him. “E-Emmrich. Did you knock? I didn’t hear you. Sorry, I’m a bit of a mess at the moment-” They were speaking so fast that they were stumbling over their words.

“Rook”, Emmrich said, voice firmer now. “Breathe.”

Their shoulders tensed. “I tried. It didn’t help. I’m not usually like this, I’ve never-” They gripped the blankets to pull them tighter around themself, and Emmrich noticed how badly their hands were shaking.

It was a woefully familiar state to Emmrich; ice-cold, unsoothable fear. He sat next to them, disentangling one of their hands from the fabric so he could hold it between his. It was cold and clammy with sweat, and shivering even now. “Tell me what happened, darling.”

“Nothing happened. It came out of nowhere last night, like I just now realized what’s happening and what could happen if I don’t do everything right. All of the ways everything could go wrong.”

Woefully familiar indeed.

“Is this why you have been hiding in here all day?”

Rook slumped against him, as if all the tension had suddenly left their body, leaving only a boneless pile of misery. “I can’t let the others see me like this. They trust me, they have to. And how could they if they saw me right now?”

“I don’t think they would judge you. I know I don’t.” His thumb stroked the back of their hand. “Just like you have never judged any of us for our troubles.” But as he spoke, Emmrich actually considered his words. Yes, none of their companions would judge Rook. But none of them had ever asked about their wellbeing, either, and to his shame, he had to include himself in that. And he also knew that no amount of talking or rationalising could drive away the terror Rook was feeling at the moment.

“Tell me that everything’s going to be okay”, Rook muttered. “Even if it’s a lie. Just tell me-”

“There is no guarantee for that”, he responded gently, wrapping one arm around their shoulders and pulling them close. “But everyone knows how hard you work. If things go wrong, it won’t be a failing on your part.”

Rook smiled shakily. “Somehow, that helps to know. Thank you.” A short moment of silence followed, before Rook spoke again:”Can you stay with me tonight?”

Emmrich pulled them closer, turning his torso so he could embrace them with both arms. “I wouldn’t dream of leaving you alone in this state, darling.”

[ohsugar-honey-iced-tea]

Happy Anniversary

Top!Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

A/n: smut >:D

Warnings: 18+, mommy kink, face riding, strapon, toys, breeding kink

Summary: 'You can't tease me like that and expect not to get punished'

-------------------------------------------------------

It's been three years. Three years since Wanda Maximoff made you the luckiest girl of the multiverse. She had been planning it thoroughly, dinner at your favorite restaurant, then after a trip to the platenarium which she had rented out so it was just the two of you. Since you had your first date there, she wanted to take you back to it. Then, when it was just the two of you under the starry night sky, she asked you to marry her. Of course, you said yes. After having the wedding of your dreams, you've finally started having a marriage with Wanda, and it was everything you dreamed of and more.

And now, today, it's three years ago you both said yes to each other. As a surprise for Wanda, you made reservations at her favorite restaurant. You bought a new dress and even new lingerie, all as a surprise for Wanda. You told her to meet you at the restaurant at 7, knowing Wanda had some errands to run before she was home.

So, 7pm, you stood in front of the restaurant, wearing a dress very revealing but covering just enough, being able to show Wanda a little preview of the lingerie you were wearing. It was 7.02, and as you went to look at your phone to check if you missed a text, you heard a voice behind you.

"Y/n."

You turned around, and there she was. She was wearing black leather jeans, a white blouse, red open blazer, and she was wearing the gold necklace you gifted her on her birthday last year. She looked beautiful, powerful, and most of all, she looked fierce. Bright fire burning in her eyes as she saw what you were wearing.

You went over to her as innocently as you could, knowing all too well what Wanda was feeling now.

"Hi, my love! Happy anniversary!"

You went to kiss her on the lips, but her hand grabbed your chin, subtle but firm, as she made you look her in the eyes.

"You are playing a dangerous game, detka. No one is supposed to see what only I am allowed to see."

You batted your eyelashes as innocent as you could, trying to hide your smirk.

"I just wanted to surprise you". You leaned in close. "Isn't that what you like, mommy?"

Wanda exhaled shakily, trying her best to cool herself down.

"Let's just go inside, okay?"

You and Wanda went inside the restaurant and sexual tension filled the air. You had a clear goal, and that was to make Wanda as frustrated as you could. As you placed your orders, you made your best bedroom eyes at her, played with the cleavage of your dress, and "innocently" played with your fingers and mouth. Wanda was struggling and you both knew it. If she had it her way, she would bend you over the table right there and show everyone who you belonged to.

As you were waiting for your main course, you even went as far as to subtly get out of your underwear and handed it to Wanda under the table. She looked at you, eyes filled with lust, heat and desire. At last, the waiter came with your main courses. You both ate it rather quickly, Wanda wanted to get you alone as soon as possible.

"Would you two like a dessert to compliment the meal?"

"I-"

Wanda interrupted you.

"No thanks, we're all set."

And so, after paying and Wanda leaving a generous tip, knowing at least some waiters must have seen what was happening between the two of you. You tried convincing Wanda to go for a walk, but to no avail. She wanted you all to herself. So, she forced you in her car, and drove home as fast as the speed limit allowed, maybe ignoring some stop signs here and there.

As soon as you stepped one foot in the house you shared with Wanda, you got pushed onto the door, and a pair of hungry lips claimed yours, kissing you until you both ran out of breath.

"You have no idea what you did, do you, detka?"

You decided to act innocently still, trying to push Wanda's buttons as much as you could.

"I have no idea, mommy. Why don't you tell me?"

Wanda groaned, and lifted you up easily, carrying you to your bedroom.

"Oh no, baby girl. I'm going to show you."

You loved how her accent came out more when she was being like this. You made her this desperate, and you were enjoying every second of it.

Wanda threw you on the bed and stood over you, looking you in the eyes sharply. You looked back at her and you were met with a harsh slap on your face.

"Mommy doesn't like it when you whore yourself out for others. You're just a pathetic slut, aren't you?"

Your cheek stinged, and you tried your hardest to hide your smile at how rough Wanda was being.

"Only for you, mommy"

Wanda waved her hand and strings of red magic came out, and before you knew it you were only in your lingerie, pussy already bare since you put off your panties earlier. Red magic bonds tied your arms and legs on the bed, arms spread wide, legs wider. You were at Wanda's mercy now.

"Please, mommy, I was only trying to please you"

"Oh sweetheart, you can't tease me like that and expect not to get punished"

With that, Wanda climbed on top of you, and started groping your breasts through your lingerie.

"Now, as much as I like this lingerie on you, I think it's time we take it off."

With help of her magic, your lingerie was off in a matter of seconds, leaving you totally bare and tied up for Wanda, just how she likes it.

"Whatever will you do to me, mommy?"

Wanda hummed, acting like she was thinking, even though she knew exactly what she wanted. She pulled off her pants and blazer, and tore open her blouse, so her own lingerie was bared to you, and god, did she look sexy. The tored open blouse made her look poweful, and your clit started to throb by only looking at her.

"I am going to make you my little fucktoy until I've decided you had enough"

With that, Wanda whirled her hand, and her magic made her favorite toys appear next to her. You gulped. There was no going back now.

Wanda lowered her hand, smirking at how wet you already were. She tskd at you and hit your already sensitive pussy hard, making you gasp loudy.

"So pathetically wet. And all mine."

After slapping your pussy a few more times, Wanda grabbed two toys she knew drove you crazy. A vibrator that could have any setting Wanda wanted to use on you, and a buttplug.

"Now, I'm going to put these inside you, and you're going to take it like the good girl you are. And if you dare come without permission, there will be hell to pay, okay?"

You nodded, desperate to get any attention on your pussy. Wanda pushed the toys deep inside you, and you already saw stars. But, before you could make any sound, Wanda put off her panties and went to sit on your face. She immediately grabbed your hair and began riding your face hard.

"Oh fuck, just like that... that's it, eat mommy's pussy like you mean it"

The sensation of the toy moving inside of you and feeling Wanda using your mouth for her pleasure only was overbearing. You so badly wanted to grab Wanda's hips to make her grind you harder, but the restricts stopped you.

You could feel Wanda was approaching orgasm by the way her thighs started shaking, but she showed no signs of stopping.

"That's it detka, maky mommy co- oh fuck!"

And there it was. Your mouth filled itself with Wanda's juices, and you eagerly lapped every drop off her with your tongue. After riding her high, Wanda got off your face and smirked at you. With the toy inside of you, you were getting deliciously close, and Wanda knew.

"You didn't think mommy forgot about her baby now did you?"

Wanda took the toys out of you, leaving you feeling empty. As you were about to protest, you saw Wanda putting on your favorite strapon. She released you of your restrains and turned you over on all fours.

"I'm gonna ruin that pretty pussy of yours, detka"

And before you could cheekily ask her how she was planning to do that, she pounded into you. She fucked you hard, deep, and made you see stars. She fucked you merciless, grabbing your hair with one hand and holding you by your hips with the other. Meanwhile, you were a moaning mess, face buried in the matress as you could barely make out any sentence. You looked at her behind you and she was an absolute sex goddess. Blouse open with only a bra underneath, hips pounding into you and eyes shut in pure pleasure. A sight you could look at for hours, if you weren't fucked to heaven.

"M-mommy... I'm so close"

"Oh you want to come, huh? For mommy to stuff you with her pups?"

Yoy nodded eagerly at that, tears forming in the corner of your eyes.

"You're fonna look so good carrying my pups. Filled with my cum. Now be a good slut and come for me."

You felt close, so unbelievably close. Wanda pounded into you in a certain angle, and there it was. As you felt Wanda's warm liquid fill you, you came like you never did before.

"That's it, detka. You come for me like the good girl you are."

After what seemed like hours, the waves of pleasure finally calmed down. You both fell down on the matress, panting hard. Wanda used her magic to get rid of the strapon and toys, and got you a damp cloth. She gently pressed it against your sweat covered head.

"Are you okay, malysh?"

You grinned dorkily at her. Your plan worked, and you both knew it.

"Oh I'm more then okay."

Wanda smiled at you as you settled in her arms, exhaustion quickly washing over you.

"Happy anniversary, y/n."

"Happy anniversary.'

-------------------------------------------------------

Let me know if you want to be added to the Wanda taglist! If you have any requests, send them! Reblogs are much appreciated :)

Taglist: @wandanats-goodgirl @xxxtwilightaxelxxx

[cupidbread]

DEVOTED

ANAKIN SKYWALKER X DROID! FEMALE! READER

Warnings: Smut. Sub! Anakin. Master kink. Droid!Reader.

ANAKIN has been keeping something from Obi Wan. The feeling of loneliness and desire that calls to him every night, but as a Jedi he is prohibited from acting on those urges. Which is why he came up with a solution, Anakin has always had a knack for repairing and creating droids since he was little, this skill is of great use in this situation.

He hissed in pain as a wire lightly electrocuted his pinky. After some hard work and sweat, he twists the screwdriver one last time and switches the droid on impatiently.

"Commencing project R0-3E" the droid comes to life and blinks.

"Whoa..." he lets out a gasp of disbelief.

"Assessing... Anakin Skywalker. Booting completed. What would you like me to do, master?" That sent a rush of blood straight to his cock. Master, huh.

"You've programmed me to be anything and do anything you want, Master. Say the word and I am a slave at your feet." She whispered seductively. His skills truly are impressive if she learns this quickly, he thinks.

"Undress. Get onto the bed for me." He commanded, loving the fact that he was in charge for once, not Obi Wan or the Council.

"As you wish sir." R0-3E purred. She crawls onto the plush bed, showing off her round ass with such fatness, you wouldn't guess she was a droid. He unbuckles his pants like a desperate teenager and crawls in behind her.

"Fuck... I've had dreams of you, sweetheart. No one can take you from me now, no one will have to know. You're mine and mine only aren't you?" He breathes stroking his thick cock from behind her.

"Yes Master..." He groans.

"Master, I like the sound of that, I'm gonna make u scream it tonight, until you're too dumb to do anything but bounce on my cock, yeah?" R0-3E whimpers in pleasure of his words.

The automated lube inside her is released at the sense of lust in the air, making her cunt wet.

"This might hurt baby, just hold on for a bit huh" He muttered, drunk on lust. Brain fogging up making up unable to think of anything but her... He quickly shoves his thickness into her, whimpering at the sudden warmth and wetness.

The Jedi thrusts deeper into her, hands gripping her hips, as he uses her moans and mewls as fuel to go faster.

Anakin feels pathetic, desperately rubbing himself into her, mumbling nonsense while the room fills with moans from her and him. Bodies tangling with sloppy thrusts.

"M'gonna cum, m'gonna..." His eyes roll back as he falls onto the bed, thrusts never stopping, pulling the woman droid onto him.

"That fast? I never took you for such a pathetic desperate man, unable to even satisfy a droid, thank heavens you've never encountered a real woman interested in you." R0-3E smirks, finding his lust and stamina increase at her words.

"S-stop it. I'm in charge." He struggles out while she rides him like it's the last thing she'll ever do.

"Oh yeah? Is that why you're laying under me, as if you're nothing but a toy for my pleasure? You want to be used like this. You've always craved it, you're just a disgusting man in need of some attention you never got." She chuckles, knowing he is so close to tipping over the edge.

"P-please... I c-cant-" He shoots out ropes inside of her mechanized body. Tears are falling down his face due to the overwhelming pleasure he's never experienced before.

The droid comes to a stop and strokes his hair while he overcomes his pleasure.

"Aren't you pretty when you cry..." she whispers, a mind full of an unknown feeling her processors can't recognize.

His eyes snap to hers in pure vulnerability, "Can we just lay here a bit?" He trembled.

"Oh of course, Master. Anything you want." R0-3E lays next to him, his head moves onto her artificial breasts.

He traces her droid number, tattooed into her waist. "R0-3E sounds rather complicated, don't you think?" he sighs.

Before she gets to respond, "I think I'm gonna call you Rose. Goodnight Rose."

Just like that, he dozed off peacefully. Which was pretty funny to Rose, humans are strange like that she concluded, but rather lovely.

This was my first time writing and I KNOW IT SHOWS but please do interact sweethearts, it would mean the world to me.

My first post being a smut fic for Anakin Skywalker was not what I expected HAHA

Thank you,

Cupid xx 💋

[lizstory]

The mistake

Satoru Gojo x Fem reader

Warning: angst, death, slight ish spoilers? Not really

Wordcount: 1.3k

What happened to you was only a mistake



————————

Dating in the sorcerer world was always deemed scandalous, especially with Gojo Satoru. The one and only legend himself, the strongest sorcerer. It was never forbidden for him to date, but with all the responsibilities he carried, it was nearly impossible. That was until he met you.

You weren’t, say, the strongest out of the bunch, but your healing abilities were unmatchable. You were still, however, a sorcerer who went on missions but acted as the nurse. Though it was never a rule, the higher-ups never put you on special-grade missions. You’d either heal the injured people as they returned or work as a first responder in bigger missions with groups of sorcerers.

Gojo knew this much and refused to let you come along with him on his missions, even the small ones where he’d be a supervisor. He enjoyed having his personal nurse waiting for him at home.

He laid in bed, your body curled next to him. The size difference always made him smile. He loved that he could tower over you, acting like a shield. He played with your fingers, rubbing gently across your palm.

“It's nice to have a day off,” He mumbled into your hair.

You smiled, beginning to respond, but were interrupted by his phone ringing. “Spoke too soon”

He groaned, wanting to let the call go by and stay in this moment, to stay with you. But that wasn’t the case. Not when you weren’t here.

“Gojo,” Nanami called, his voice ringing in Gojo’s ear. “Did you oversleep again?”. He grew concerned for his friend. Ever since he lost his love, he hasn’t been the same. He’s refused to go on missions the higher-ups assign him, resulting in multiple lives being taken.

Gojo grumbled, still hazy from the too-realistic dream. “What do you need, Nanami?”

“The higher-ups need you.”

“And tell them I need Y/n back.” He immediately ended the call. His head pounded, the consequences of last night's drinking finally dawning on him. His elbows dug into the mattress; pushing himself up, he stared at the empty side of his bed. The side you’d always sleep in. Your figure still wrinkled the sheets. Somehow, that simple detail helped him sleep.

Slowly, you disappeared not only from the world but from his mind. He wasn’t an idiot; he knew how fast he’d forget you if he drank, but the pain was too much. You weren’t supposed to be there that day. It was supposed to be him that people mourned, not him mourning.

“Satoru, calm down,” You sighed, clenching his hand. You two had been arguing for the past thirty minutes about you attending a special grade mission with him.

“Why did they even assign you with me?” He groaned, his hands running through his hair. It was better than hitting or going straight to the higher-ups and hitting them. “You aren’t a sorcerer.”

The once happiness that filled your chest was gone. Gojo might not have agreed with these arrangements, but it was one of the best things that happened. You were seen as the weakest, and now the higher-ups are noticing that you can do more just for Gojo to rip it away.

“I am a sorcerer.” Your voice dropped an octave, either from hurt or anger. That much wasn’t clear at the moment. “Or am I just not your idea of what a sorcerer is?”

His hand came to yours. “You know what I mean.”

You pulled away, stunned that not only your friend but your lover could think this low of you. “Frankly I don’t.”

He sighed, squeezing your hand. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

A small smile cracked against your lips. It was hard to stay mad at Gojo. He was a caring person, protected the ones he loved, charismatic and thoughtful, and those were just a few things that made you fall so deeply for him.

“I promise I’ll be ok.”

That smile. He knew that it was dangerous and knew what the possible outcomes could be, but he could never say no to that smile. “Ok”

But Gojo should have known. He never gets the things he wants, not after how much he fought for them. Knew that he could never be happy. Not when he's Gojo Satoru.

He carried your body to Shoko. She was practically desensitized to the dead, but your body? No, she needed a second to process your presence there. You were a kind soul, and now this earth had to carry on without you. Her bottom lip quivered at your curse technique markings slowly fading. She knew what those markings meant.

“What happened?” She asked, not entirely sure if she wanted to know the truth.

“She used what little life she had left to save me,” Gojo choked as he stared at your peaceful face.

Shoko took a deep breath. “She died saving who she loved.” it was a reminder for him, not her.

He left the one instantly. He didn’t want to see what she would do with you. Either way, he needed to have a small talk with the higher-ups. He was in pain, and they put him there. It was the same story, different time. He was forced to watch yet another loved one leave his life, forced to watch them take their last breath. And in every story, it was his fault. It was his fault when he was 18, and it was his fault now.

He burst into the meeting room. It didn’t matter who was in there, how important they were, or how much he needed to respect them. He wanted answers. “Why!” He yelled

Masamichi sighed. He was one of the first to hear the tragic news of your passing, so he knew at some point Gojo would be coming. “Satoru,” He mumbled, his voice treading carefully around the grieving boy. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Why’d you send her with me?” His voice only grew louder, and yet everyone didn’t seem to be in shock. They had to witness this same scenario.

Masamichi stayed silent. He knew Gojo deserved the truth. “It was either you or her.”

Numb, that was the only way to describe what he had felt. His body went stiff, his brain yelling at him to do so many things, but all he could do was stare. Not again, not the ultimatum. It was always him or them. Every chance he was given, he fought so hard to save them, fought so hard to save what he treasured. He was strong enough to save the world but couldn’t keep his world.

Why’d the universe always have to choose him…

“You knew she wouldn’t make it?” He whispered, his vision bluring with every blink

“Think of it as collateral damage.”

He turned too quickly, not pinpointing which mouth those foul words were said from. He only leaped for the nearest old man.

Gojo stood at your grave, the rain dripping down the engraved stone. Of course, he wasn’t getting soaked at all. He always had his infinity on. He learned his lesson, only if it didn’t have to come to another life lost for it to get through his head.

“I’m so sorry,” He mumbled, wanting so much to hold you, just to touch you one last time. He needed it. You were the one thing that kept him human. Took care of him when that was the last thing on his mind. You were the person he couldn’t sleep without. Your scent was the only thing that brought him comfort; your touch gave him life, your smile gave him reason, and your love gave him hope. You were his entire world, and you were gone. How could he ever continue without you?

"I love you."

[hooked-on-elvis]

"My Boy" (1973-1974)

Recorded on December 13, 1973 at Stax Studios, Memphis · Released on March 20, 1974 · Album: Good Times

MUSICIANS Guitar: James Burton, Johnny Christopher, Charlie Hodge. Bass: Norbert Putnam. Drums: Ronnie Tutt. Piano & Organ: David Briggs, Per-Erik Hallin. Vocals: Kathy Westmoreland, Mary (Jeannie) Greene, Mary Holladay, Susan Pilkington, Voice, J.D. Sumner & The Stamps. OVERDUBS Guitar: Dennis Linde, Alan Rush. Percussion: Rob Galbraith. Piano: Bobby Ogdin. Organ: Randy Cullers. Vocals: Ginger Holladay, Mary Holladay, Mary Cain.

RELEASES In March 1974 "My Boy" was first released on the album "Good Times", and in January 1975 the song came out as Side-A single (backed with "Thinking About You".

The master of “My Boy” was lengthened by splicing on a repeat of the last section.

"MY BOY" — LYRICS Songwriters: Bill Martin/Phil Coulter/Claude Francois/Jean-Pierre Bourtayre You're sleeping son, I know But really, this can't wait I wanted to explain Before it gets too late For your mother and me Love has finally died This is no happy home But God knows how I've tried Because you're all I have, my boy You are my life, my pride, my joy And if I stay, I stay because of you, my boy I know it's hard to understand Why did we ever start? We're more like strangers now Each acting out a part I have laughed, I have cried I've lost every game Taken all I can take But I'll stay here just the same Because you're all I have, my boy You are my life, my pride, my joy And if I stay, I stay because of you, my boy Sleep on, you haven't heard a word Perhaps it's just as well Why spoil your little dreams Why put you through the hell Life is no fairy tale As one day you will know But now you're just a child I'll stay here and watch you grow Because you're all I have, my boy You are my life, my pride, my joy And if I stay, I stay because of you, my boy Because you're all I have, my boy You are my life, my pride, my joy And if I stay, I stay because of you, my boy Yeah, because you're all I have, my boy You are my life, my pride, my joy And if I stay, I stay because of you, my boy Oh, because you're all I have

--

TAKES · FROM FIRST TO MASTER

THE TAKE 2 Studio Sessions for RCA · December 13, 1973: Stax Studios, Memphis Please, read what Ernst Jorgensen says about the moment "My Boy" was being recorded, and listen to the take. -- The next night Elvis began with a song from his live repertoire, “My Boy,” which had been included in the August Las Vegas show. The song told the traumatic tale of losing a child through divorce, but Elvis wanted to be done with it fast. When Felton pushed for a third take, he exploded: “I told you to get this goddamn thing in two takes. I can’t sing it no more.” Take three was actually better; it lacked the long fade out Felton wanted, but he knew better than to ask for another, confident that he could loop it in mixing to get the effect he wanted. Excerpt: "Elvis Presley, A Life in Music: The Complete Recording Sessions" by Ernst Jorgensen. Foreword by Peter Guralnick (1998) -- So, when I first read this part of Jorgensen's book I hadn't listen to that take yet, but now that I did I don't take Elvis' comment as "he exploded", do you? If that was Elvis exploding, I have to reconsider a lot of the stories about his supposed short-tempered moments. Just saying. He sounded pretty like just casually commenting rather than snapping at Felton like the description of the moment made it look like. Still, I personally think that comment came for a reason, maybe EP was too polite - or too embarrassed - to show how affected by the lyrics of that song he was. Below is the take two alone, if you prefer to go straight to the point go to min. 3:50.

Elvis and Lisa Marie Presley at Baptist Memorial Hospital in Memphis, TN, on February, 1968. ♥

I must have been the only person in the fandom who hadn't seen this picture before. So cute! I'm meltinnnggg! Is it real? Looks edited, IDK. Anyway, what are your thoughts about Elvis' recording of My Boy? Do you think it had a meaning to him?

[danceswithsporks]

Awake-Part 4

Crosshair x f! Innkeeper

*Not canon to Season 3*

Parts 1 2 3

Chapter Summary: Crosshair begins to try and settle into life on Pabu while dealing with his feelings.

Authors Notes: It’s another long one folk! This one was tough for me to write for whatever reason. I think I hit a wall and I’m slowly getting over it. Think of it as a 60ft wall and I’m using two little daggers to climb over it because I can’t find a ladder. Does that make sense? Idfk. All I know is this took me longer than intended and I’m so sorry for that! I still hope you’ll enjoy this chapter! ♥️

Spotify Playlist has been updated with the new song!

Awake, he was fucking awake again. The entire inn was asleep and yet here he fucking was. Wide awake and lost in thought. Ever since he’d arrived on this island he’d barely slept. When he did sleep she wasn’t there anymore. Instead, she was replaced by those he’d lost like Mayday and Tech. They haunted his sleep. They berated him and reminded him of their deaths. Tortured him with the knowledge that they’d both died and he was in some way connected.

It had been a week since they’d returned to Pabu and Crosshair had scarcely left his room. In the last seven days, he’d left twice. Once, on their first day there to try and interact with the others, and then on day four to go with Hunter and Echo to check on Wrecker and the kid. He couldn’t even make it to their home before he turned back. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t face the kid right now. 

During his walk back to his room, he ran into you. You smiled at him and it made his heart beat fast. He still didn’t understand how you could be real. You used to run rampant in his dreams and then suddenly you’d stopped. Your voice, your laugh, and your eyes, it was all the same. How could this be possible? He still hadn’t mentioned to the others about his dream in fear they’d write him off as crazy. Deep down he knew they never would do that. But his mind kept telling him they could. 

“Good evening, Crosshair.” You said sweetly to him as he walked by. The flowing sundress you wore blew in the breeze of your opened patio doors. “Will you join us for dinner tonight?” You looked hopefully at him. 

He shook his head no as he neared the stairs. He felt horrible for not speaking to you. He’d dreamed about you so much before meeting you and now he couldn’t even face you. What would you think of him if you knew everything he’d done and what he’d gone through? Would you continue to be this nice?

You watched in silence. The way he was acting reminded you of how Stitches had acted after losing her parents. It had been months before she was back to normal. From what you’d heard from Stitches, Crosshair had made the call to the boys to warn them. Could he possibly blame himself for them leaving the safety of Pabu and the avoidable death of his brother? You sincerely hoped that wasn’t the case. That was a dark deep pit to be stuck in. It took you and many others months to get Stitches back to normal. Maybe you should reach out to him? Talk to him? The sound of the door opening drew your attention away from the clone and back to your business. 

-*-

The second week came and went in a haze for Crosshair. He barely left his room and barely ate the food you brought up. He could hear his brothers in the hall talking to you on different occasions and the concern you felt for him was clear. It was only when he was sure everyone was out of the hall did he ever open his door for food. He wanted to leave his room, he did, but it was like there was a weight on him preventing him from doing so. It chained him to his room and anchored him to that space alone. Every time he attempted to leave his chest would get heavy.

One night at the beginning of the third week, when the moon was full and illuminated the island in a gentle glow, he found himself compelled to leave his room. He wasn’t sure why he was compelled to leave, he just was. He crept down the stairs quietly in hopes of not waking his slumbering brothers or you. To his surprise, you were already awake and sitting on the patio in one of the chairs overlooking your garden with the door wide open. A gentle breeze blew through the room carrying the scent of lavender and roses in the air. Crosshair inhaled slowly and let out a quiet sigh. He’d been stuck in his room for so long that he’d forgotten the smell of fresh sea air. It reminded him of Kamino. He, surprisingly, missed the water planet. 

He stepped towards the patio door and the floor creaked beneath his feet. You turned in your seat and smiled softly at him. 

“Crosshair, I was wondering when I’d see you again.” Your voice was gentle like the ocean air. You didn’t stand from your seat but simply looked over your shoulder at the mysterious clone. You’d briefly seen his hands poke out from his room to grab a tray of food before the door would shut again. You could hear him moving around from the first floor and you’d heard him cry out a few nights prior. 

He didn’t say anything to you as he stepped out onto the patio. A cup of tea sat on the table in front of you with steam swirling from it. You motioned to a chair near you and after a moment of hesitation, he sat down. 

“Here.” You whispered. “I’ll go make another cup. Don’t worry, I haven’t drunk from it.” Carefully the cup was passed to him before you stood and went back inside.

Crosshair hadn’t expected you to give him your drink. He hadn’t expected anything from you, he didn’t deserve anything from you. Not after the things he’d done. His hand wrapped around the cup and the warmth from the drink spread across his body making goose flesh scatter his skin. Behind him, the sound of you in the kitchen could be heard. The clink of another mug being placed on the counter, a cabinet opening, the clang of the kettle on the stove, and the sound of a metal spoon stirring in the mug. It all rang out in the silent night air to his ears. After a few minutes, you returned with a happy hum and sat back in your chair. 

A silence hung in the air between the two of you as you both stared at the night sky. Every few moments Crosshair would shift in his seat or take a drink of the tea. A cool night breeze danced through the air and against your skin making you shiver. “Should have brought my sweater.” You joked lightly before moving to go inside and grab a blanket. Instead, Crosshair stood and motioned for you to stay in your seat. He moved inside quickly and after a minute returned with a blanket. “Oh, thank you, Crosshair.” You spoke gently as he laid the blanket around your shoulders. You watched as he returned to his seat and the two of you fell back into your silence. 

An hour later you finally let out a long sigh and broke the silence. “I should get inside and get some sleep before I have to make breakfast.” 

Oh, you were leaving already? He was kind of enjoying this quiet time. He watched as you stood from the table with the blanket still around your shoulders. Words seemed to fail him as you stood in the glow of the moonlight in your pajama shorts and tank top. 

Grabbing your empty mug of tea, you began to head inside before stopping in the doorway. “You should take a walk down to the docks. There’s a sea wall you can sit on and just breathe in the crisp sea air. It might help you clear your mind.” 

“How do you know I need to clear my mind?” Crosshair stood from his chair. 

“My apartment is below your room.” You pointed over your shoulder. “I hear you moving around at night. You have trouble sleeping, don’t you?” Reaching up, you pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulders as you tried to fight off the chill of the night air. 

“I” he hesitated. You were right, he was having trouble sleeping. 

“Take the walk, Crosshair. When you get back you can take a long shower and I’ll have breakfast ready for you.” You passed him a sweet smile before turning and heading inside, not giving him the chance to argue. A plan was forming in your head.

He watched you place the blanket on the back of the couch in the living area before disappearing into the apartment behind the door marked ‘Private’. A shower and breakfast? Did he smell that bad? He gave himself a sniff and frowned, it had been a few days since he’d last showered. 

Crosshair looked out at the vast star-filled sky and chewed his lip. Perhaps you were right, a long walk in fresh air might do him some good. No doubt the shower later would help as well. Grabbing the same blanket you had used, he wrapped it around his shoulders and headed out the front door. 

You stood watching from your balcony as the quiet clone began the descent down the island. It would take him some time to reach the docks at the speed he was walking. But perhaps that was a good thing. You’d never gone through a big tragedy like they had. Your life on Pabu had been perfect. Two parents who loved you fiercely, grandparents who adored you, and an inn that, before the empire had taken over, had been doing great. 

Your mother had passed from sickness a few years prior and your father soon after from, what the doctor had called a broken heart. It was sad and you’d cried your eyes out for nearly a month. But you knew people like Stitches had had it harder. Your grandparents took over raising you but then they passed the year before, your grandmother in spring and your grandfather in winter, and thus you were on your own.  It wasn’t some tragic tale of loss and heartbreak. You hadn’t been traumatized from any of it. In short, your life had indeed been close to perfect as perfect could be. The only bad times you could think of where you truly were upset would have to be the bad breakups you’d had over the years. That was to be expected when you dated customers. 

With a sigh, you thought about your family. You’d been sad when your parents passed, that much was true. But your grandmother had always told you to take walks and let the sea air calm you. It worked too. Perhaps it was one of those old wives' tales mixed with a placebo effect. But you believed in it and hopefully so would Crosshair. If your grandmother was still alive she would have dragged him from his room on the third day and forced him to eat a big bowl of her homemade lentil soup. He probably would have outwardly hated it, but it would have warmed his soul and no doubt it would have helped him. You’d once tried to make the soup in hopes of honoring your grandmother, but it didn’t taste anything close to hers. You hadn’t tried to make it since then. Maybe you should, perhaps the boys would like it. 

They were still your only customers, more like tenants at this point. You’d had conversations with both Echo and Hunter since they’d first arrived and you’d seen Stitches, Wrecker, and Omega just a few days ago when you went to pick up the clothes the seamstress had made for the boys. One night, a few days ago, Hunter and Echo explained what happened. Your heart hurt for them. To lose a brother in such a terrible way was one of the worst things imaginable. You’d offered your condolences to them and they’d taken it. Now you understood why Omega and Wrecker were having nightmares and why Stitches was so worried. You’d asked if anyone had told Chai what had happened and both men shook their heads.

“I offered to explain it all to her. But she said she wasn’t ready.” Hunter had told you solemnly. 

You wondered if the girl would ever be ready. With a long hum, you pushed off the balcony wall and stepped back into your room. The worry for your friends ran through your head as you laid back into your much too-large bed. Perhaps you’d visit Chai in the morning? Check on her before checking on Stitches and her little family. Whatever you’d do, Crosshair would come first. You fell back to sleep thinking about your plan. 

-*-

The walk down Pabu was surprisingly nice. The cool night air mixed with the sea air and blew through his skin in a way that had him closing his eyes and sighing. Memories of Kamino danced through his mind. Sure they were ignored and on the receiving end of insults from the regs but outside of that, it was his home. The place he grew up with his vod at.the place where he’d made the stupid decision to wait for the empire instead of going with the batch. Whether the memories were good or bad, that ocean scent would always transport him home. 

He followed the cobblestone path to the base of the hill where a waist-high seawall sat. A figure shifted on the wall making him realize he wasn’t alone. Instinctually, he moved to grab his blaster but realized he didn’t have it. He moved to turn and head away from the potential danger when he kicked a loose pebble across the cobblestones. The sound seemed to echo in the quiet night air. The figure shifted and turned to face him. It was her, Techs girl.

“Oh. I thought I was the only one up this late.” Chai tried to force a smile but found herself still unable to. She’d last smiled before they returned. Back when she felt like everything would be okay and Tech would come back to her. Now it felt like she’d never smile again. She looked at his brother with tired eyes and found the same exhaustion looking back at her. “Couldn’t sleep?” 

“No” What was he supposed to say to her at this moment? It was clear she wanted to be alone. He’d heard Hunter talking to Doll and Echo about how the woman didn’t want to know about what happened to Tech. Seeing as he was the cause of his death, Crosshair was the last person who should be talking to her. “I’ll leave.” 

“No!” Chai nearly jumped off the sea wall. Perhaps having the company of one of his brothers would help calm her. “Please. Join me?” She patted the space next to her. 

Crosshair swallowed as your words rang out to him. The sea air would help, hopefully you were right. He nodded to Chai before moving to the wall and boosting himself onto the stone wall. His feet dangled next to hers and he wished he hadn’t worn shoes so he could feel the spray on his ankles. How they were sitting reminded him once more of Kamino and how he and his brothers would sit and watch the Aiwha fly around. 

“We haven’t been introduced. I’m Chai.” She released the datapad in her lap with one hand and offered it to the clone before her. A burn scar could be seen on the right side of his head and she wondered how he got it. Tech had never mentioned a burn scar. 

“Crosshair.” He shook her hand gently before looking down at the familiar datapad. “You look yet?” The question left him before he could stop it. 

She shook her head solemnly. “I tried a few days ago. But it’s locked and I don’t know the code. I tried his clone number but it didn’t work.” Talking to him was almost refreshing in a way. This was the most she’d spoken in days. 

“Check his goggles. He wrote the code in one of the rims.” Just in case he forgot it for whatever reason. Crosshair was the only one to know of its location. It was his job as Tech's twin to know these things. Twin, he wasn’t a twin anymore. Now it was just him. Tech understood him deeper than anyone else had and now he was on his own. 

“Oh.” She looked down at the device in her lap and sighed softly. She’d look for the code when she went home. Maybe today would be the day she’d look through it. “Thanks” 

Crosshair nodded before looking back out over the ocean. It was nice here, just the sound of the ocean waves hitting the rocks below and their breathing. Maybe a sigh here or there but that was it. 

Chai had to admit, she appreciated the silence that fell. For the past two weeks, people had been offering their condolences and sympathy for her loss. Her brothers and father had tried to talk her through the grief and both Hunter and Echo had tried to explain what had happened. But so far Crosshair was keen to not say anything about the topic. She liked that. For these last two weeks, she’d felt so alone. But having someone just sit by her who wasn’t trying to talk about anything seemed to be just what she needed. 

After an hour, Chai turned and hopped off the wall. “I should go back and get ready to open the shop.” A shop owner's job didn’t stop, not even for the death of one they cared for. Crosshair nodded to her, not moving to stand. “I come down most nights. Feel free to join me.” 

He looked over his shoulder at the girl before nodding once more. He had barely any words to say to her. His mind hadn’t stopped running over what to say to her or discuss with her. But according to Shaak Ti, sometimes saying nothing was just as important as saying something. She offered for him to join her another night. Would she hold that offer once she learned what he’d done? That he was why Tech was gone? “Thanks.” Was all he could think to say to her. 

-*-

You woke up to the sound of Crosshair's door shutting and his feet crossing the room. Perfect. You checked your clock and found it had been three hours since he’d left. Hopefully that time away did him some good. Humming softly, you pulled yourself from the warmth of your bed and back into the cool air blowing in off the ocean. You’d left your balcony doors open and that cool crisp air had filled your room. Pulling on your long robe, you stepped out of your room and over to the main kitchen. Stitches would be dropping off breakfast and lunch for them soon enough, but you wanted to do something more traditional and hearty for him. Something to truly welcome him to the island. 

While two eggs were boiling in salted water, you pulled fresh yogurt from the conservator that had been delivered the day before from one of Pabu’s sister islands. A merchant fleet of ships traveled to all the islands on your planet, even Pabu had two ships that were part of the fleet. 

You poured the yogurt into a small dish and added a drizzle of honey over the top of it with a few figs on the side before moving over to start the gliko caf. Maybe he wouldn’t like it so sweet but you loved it that way and so he’d have to at least try it. You poured the sugar and cream into the cups and waited for the delicious dark liquid to pour from the brewer. Now you just needed the kalathaki, prozimi, and the amygdalota. You had the feta, gruyere, and nuts already. 

As if on cue, there was a knock on your front door. After a moment the door opened and Chai’s older brother, Vino, came in with your daily order of sweets and bread. He was always kind enough to swing by the bakers and pick up your bread order. Chai had let it slip that he had a crush on you and while you found it sweet, you didn’t feel the same way back. He was your best friend's brother after all. 

“Thank you, Vino.” You stepped around the island in your kitchen and over to the basket in his hands. 

“Anytime, Doll.” He smiled at you the same way he always did. With a twinkle in his eye and a smile that reached his bright blues. “Your orders have been bigger since the clones arrived.” 

You took the basket from him and shrugged. “They eat a lot. Well, two of them do. Plus I split with Stitches.” The smell of the prozimi wafted through the air and made you sigh. The sourdough always smelled amazing. “How is she?” You hadn’t heard from your dear friend in a few days and you worried. 

Vino shrugged. “Some days are better than others. She’s been going out at night when she thinks we’re all asleep. Goes to the seawall and just stares.” 

“They had a lot of moments there.” The seawall, huh? You wondered if Crosshair had run into her a few hours ago. “I’ll swing by and talk to her later today. That okay?” 

“You know you’re always welcome at our place, Doll.” You were like family after all. He reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder gently. “Maybe talking to you will pull her out of her funk. I haven’t seen her this bad, ever. Not even when mom passed.” 

You nodded to him while patting his hand. “She’ll be okay. Just give her some time. We all grieve in our own way.” 

Vino stepped closer to you and looked down into your eyes. “Are you grieving as well?” He raised his hand to stroke your chin but heard someone clear their throat behind him. Damn. One of these days he’d get the courage to ask you out. 

“Stitches!” Thank the stars she was here. Things were getting awkward with Vino. 

“Hey, Good morning.” She winked at you as you stepped around Vino and back to your island. She walked across the room and elbowed her friend's brother. “Vino. Don’t you have a shop to open?”

“Right.” He nodded to you sweetly. “See ya later? I’ll let Chai know you’re coming over.” 

“Sounds good. Thanks again, Vino.” You watched as the man waved bye to Stirches before leaving. You shook your head as you stepped around the counter and back to the slowly forming tray of food. Already you could tell that Stitches was going to tease you. The basket of goodies was placed on the counter while you checked on the caf. It was almost ready. Just five more minutes. You could see into the small crate that Stitches carried. Six containers of food sat neatly within. “Hope this wasn’t too early for ya.”  You tried to avoid the teasing that was no doubt coming. 

“I was heading to the school to get Omega enrolled so I’ve got some time.” She walked over and placed the crate down while smirking. “So you and Vino, huh?” 

“Don’t start.” You hated how awkward things were between you two now that you knew he liked you. “Wish Chai had never said anything.” The goodies of your basket were pulled out and placed on the counter. The kalathaki looked amazing with its golden crispy crust. You pulled out a knife and cut two pieces from the cheese-based pie. A few more slices were cut and placed into your fridge before you packaged the rest up for Stitches. 

“I think it’s cute.” She watched as you sliced a few pieces of the sourdough bread and placed it on the tray. Now who were you making all of this for? “He’s like a little puppy with the way he does things for you.” She reached over and plucked an amygdalota from the basket. The almond cookie danced on her tongue as she took a bite. “Ugh, Chai definitely made these.” They tasted just right. Nice and firm on the outside but chewy on the inside with just the right balance of salt and sugar. 

She moved over to your conservator and pulled out a few pieces of mixed fruit as well as some olives. “Wow, good haul from the merchant ships. Was Dion working?” Out of all the merchants, Dion liked you the most, and thus he always gave you a great deal. She placed the items on the counter next to you. 

“Yeah.” Once again there was another man who crushed on you. None of them fit that fairytale romance you wanted though. You wanted someone who would listen to what you had to say and understand it. Someone who looked at you like you were everything to them. Someone who you could care for but would care for you as well. That perfect relationship like yours, and so many others, parents had. 

“So which one of them is it? Who's the lucky clone getting this amazing-looking tray of food.” She watched as you placed a few of the almond cookies onto the tray before turning and grabbing the eggs from the water. Stitches was quick to help you by grabbing a bowl and filling it with ice and water.

 You deposited the eggs into the water to quickly cool as you finished filling the tray. All you needed was the eggs and then the caf. Already your inn was smelling amazing and no doubt the other clones would be up soon. You tried to ignore her question but as usual, your friend wouldn’t let up. 

“Can’t be Hunter, he’s too rugged for your taste. Remember Ienzo? You hated his ruggedness.” She grabbed an olive and popped it into her mouth. The salty brine burst in her mouth. She hadn't eaten before she left and it was catching up to her. 

“Ienzo’s beard was too long and had stuff stuck in it. Not to mention his hair was too greasy. I don’t think I’d call that rugged. I’d just call that gross. From what I’ve seen, Hunter is far from that.” But still far from your type. You grabbed the caf from the brewer and poured it into the two cups. It took a lot of willpower not to down your cup right away. 

Stitches shook her head as you rolled your eyes. “Ok, well it can’t be Echo. He’s far too pale for you. Remember Ansem?” 

You placed a few pieces of cutlery on the tray before looking around for some napkins. “Ansem couldn’t even step outside without burning. I can’t be with someone like that while living on a sunny island. From what I understand, Echo is recovering from some serious shit and hasn’t regained his color. Just as Crosshair is.” 

As soon as you said his name she knew she’d got you. “So it is Crosshair.” She giggled excitedly. “You and Crosshair. I can’t believe it!” Wrecker had folded her very little about Crosshair. Just that he was Tech’s twin and had been the one to make the call that sent them on their rescue mission. 

“Will you keep your voice down? Honestly.” You shooed her with one of the cloth napkins you’d found. “It’s not like that. He’s struggling with something. I just want to try and help him through whatever it is.” Having someone moping around your inn wouldn’t look good for you. Plus he was too cute to be sad. 

Oh. Oh no. You found him cute. 

No, you couldn’t fall for yet another customer. Not after the last one. You’d made a deal with yourself that you wouldn’t date another customer. You were just helping him because you felt bad for him. Yeah. That was all. Not because he had soft eyes filled with emotion or a cute butt. No, it was just because he was sad and you were trying to be nice. 

“Doll? Doooollll.” Stitches waved her hand in your face to draw your attention once more. 

“Huh? What?” You hadn’t realized you’d zoned out. You waved her hand away from your face before walking over to the bowl of ice and pulling out the two eggs. 

“I asked if you’d be making him this special meal every day?” If you were then she could cut back on one of the meals she made every day.

Sighing, you shook your head. “Just today. I’m trying to make him feel comfortable here. It can be hard going from one planet to another, especially when dealing with the death of a brother.” Or so you’d heard from passing customers. Back before the Empire took over you had all manner of customers come through your inn. Families, vendors, bounty hunters, and lone wolves. You’d seen it all and heard it all. You may not have experienced hardship like those around you, but you understood it enough. 

“Right.” She clapped her hands together and hugged you quickly. “Well I expect to be the first to know when that fails and you end up married to him.” 

“Oh, my gods. Why are you this way?” You hugged her before shooing her once more. “I can guarantee it won’t come to that.” 

“Whatever you say, Doll. Whatever you say.” She gathered her portion of the baked goods and bread into the basket. She took a moment to think about something before speaking in a more serious tone. “Don’t force him, or Chai, to talk about what’s wrong. You know as much as I do that’ll just push them deeper into themselves.” 

Your lips formed a thin line as you nodded. “I know.” There was a moment of hesitation between you two before you continued. “How are they? Wrecker and Omega?” 

She hummed in thought for a moment. “It’s day by day. They both still have nightmares and Omega barely eats right now. But I think getting her enrolled in school and back around other kids will help.” Stitches checked the basket for everything to distract herself from worrying too much about her little family. “Give Chai my love?” 

“I will.” You nodded while resting your hands on the cool countertop. “I’ll stop by after I talk to her. ‘Kay?” Your friend nodded before turning and leaving your inn. Only once the door was shut did you move around the counter and begin to pull the containers of food from the crate. You’d quickly get these sorted before going up to Crosshair’s room. Hopefully, he was done showering by now. 

-*-

Crosshair sat on the edge of his bed in the darkness of his room. He’d showered after his walk and reluctantly put a fresh pair of pajama pants on instead of simply laying on his bed in a towel. He wasn’t back to normal, it would take a lot longer for that to happen, but he did feel a little bit better. 

A soft knock on his door drew his attention. Standing, he walked over to the door and pressed his ear against the cool metal. 

“Crosshair? I brought you a little something to eat.” You spoke just barely loud enough for him to hear. Not wanting to wake his brothers up or draw attention to you two. 

He paused for a moment before opening the door with the intent of taking the tray of food from you and then going back into his room alone. It seemed you had other plans though. With a sweet smile at him that shook his entire body, you stepped past him and into the room he’d holed himself up in for two weeks. He barely caught sight of the tray but it was far from ‘a little’. From what he’d seen it was a lot, the tray was full. “Umm,” What was he supposed to say? Get out? What are you doing? You look nice in that dress. 

Wait. 

You’d worn a sundress countless times before, it seemed to be your preferred outfit, so why did he think you looked nice this time? He stood in the doorway watching you closely as you moved to the desk and placed down the tray. You stepped over to the window and in one swift movement the curtains were pulled back and the morning light flooded his room. The dress you wore was light blue with white stripes running down it multiple times. You had a pair of heeled strap sandals on and your hair was down. You looked just like you did nearly every time he’d caught a glimpse of you. So what was it about this time that made him feel this way?

“Don’t worry, I won’t be charging you extra for the meal.” You smirked at him before turning around and staring at his window. It was a little musky in here. With a cute humph, you unlatched the window and pushed it open happily. The crisp morning air blew into the room instantly and fluttered your dress making you laugh lightly. 

Crosshair practically swooned at your smirk. When the wind blew your dress around his knees nearly gave out. You were the most stunning creature he’d ever seen. “Huh?” Wow, he was not great at speaking to you. 

You fought the little chuckle that bubbled its way into your throat. “How was your walk? Did you make it to the seawall?” You’d been fussing with the tray of food until you heard the door shut. Good, he wasn’t running for the hills. Smiling, you looked up at him and watched as he walked across the room to you. It was only then that you noticed he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Your cheeks flushed at the sight of his surprisingly toned body. Hunter had told you that he’d been a prisoner for a while but that didn’t seem to have affected him too much. 

The morning sun enveloped you like a halo of orange and yellow as he stepped across the room. Seeing you like this, looking so beautiful, it seemed to loosen his tongue. “I did. It was nice.” He looked down at the tray of food and felt his mouth water. Everything looked so good, even the eggs. 

Picking up one of the mugs of caf, you passed it to him. “Did you see Chai? Her brother told me this morning that she’s been going out at night.” 

“I did.” Her brother? He didn’t realize she had a brother. There wasn’t much he knew about the girl, only that Tech was interested in her. This morning? It had only been a few hours since he’d seen the girl. Was it normal for men to come to your inn so early in the morning? Why did that make his heart twinge? “Didn’t say much.” He took the caf from you and waited for you to pick up the one intended for you. 

“Did she seem okay?” Your hand hesitated over your cup. 

You really cared for the girl, didn’t you? “She was quiet. Told her the code for the datapad.” 

Picking up the caf, you chewed your lip. “So she still hasn’t looked at it?” Echo had explained that there was something on the device that Tech had wanted her to see. What it was no one seemed to know. It was all just part of the contingency the clone seemed to have had. 

“Suppose not.” If she couldn’t even unlock the device then there was no way that she’d seen what was inside. 

You couldn’t let this get you down, not when you’d come in here with a plan. The cup in your hands was held out to him in cheers that he seemed reluctant to return. Never dropping the smile that you forced back onto your face, you took a sip of your caf and hummed happily. It was just the perfect level of sweetness with a small bite of bitterness on the tail end. “I’ll check on her later.”  You watched Crosshair carefully as he downed the entire cup of caf. He made a face that let you know that he didn’t care for the sweetness of the drink. It made you chuckle. “Sorry, wasn’t sure how you liked your caf.” 

You were so happy and peppy. Usually, that would annoy him but on you, it looked great. It almost made him want to smile and forget about everything. Almost. “It’s fine.” 

Well, it was the thought that counted. “Well, I think you should try the kalathaki next. It’s from the baker, they’re the best on the island when it comes to the pies.” You picked up the plate holding a slice of the cheese pie, it smelled delicious. 

Crosshair looked down at the tray of food and felt his stomach ache. He’d barely been eating these last couple of days. It all looked good too, you truly knew how to make a meal. But his mind and body pulled away from the food. He couldn’t bring himself to eat. Shaking his head, he lived to step away but heard you clear your throat suddenly. 

You watched the way he turned from you. Oh, he thought he’d get out of eating? Clearing your throat, you picked up a fork and cut a small piece of the pie. “Try a bite?” You gave him the best puppy dog eyes that you could muster. 

“I” he let out a long sigh. How could he say no when you looked at him like that? You’d gone through all the work of making the food for him and bringing it up to his room. The least he could do was try a small bite. Crosshair allowed you to slide a small piece into his mouth, the smile on your face pure as he did so. 

It tasted amazing. Better than anything he’d had before. The flavor burst in his mouth making his tongue sing. His stomach practically growled at the introduction of delicious food. He’d only been snacking on small pieces of bread or the rolls that came with the meals she dropped off. This was on an entirely different level. Before he could process the first bite you were already cutting another piece. He should step in and say he was able to feed himself but you seemed so pleased with yourself and honestly? He was tired. 

You let him chew the piece in his mouth while you set the plate down. Moving behind him, you grabbed the chair and placed it behind him. Without a word, he sat down and stared at you. You could see how tired he was, but that was okay. You’d take care of him. 

-*-

Thirty minutes later he took his final bite of the food. It had been a slow process for you to feed him, he didn’t seem too excited to eat. It wasn’t a lot that he’d eaten, small amounts here and there from the different items on the tray, but he’d at least eaten something. 

You stood from the spot on the floor that you’d slid into. It had been silent in the room since you’d started feeding him. You didn’t mind too much. Yes, it was odd at first but you didn’t want to press him too much. You were lucky that he’d let you in and do this much for him, pressing your luck could prove futile. He could easily lock back up and not let you in again. 

“Come on.” You whispered while extending your hand to him. 

The last thirty minutes had flown by in a blur as you fed him. He’d felt like a child at first but slowly he’d felt something else. Gratefulness? Lust? Desire? Someone as beautiful as you had been hand-feeding him. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve someone like you taking care of someone like him. Every moment and bite was savored as you worked around the tray. All of it had been delicious, but the pie had by far been his favorite. 

You stood and offered your hand to him and without hesitation he took it. He was easily pulled onto his feet and into your body. “S-sorry.” Came from him as he realized how close to you he was, you smelled amazing. 

Oh. He was warm. Your hand rested against his muscular chest for a moment as you repositioned him. You intended to lead him to his bed so he could get some sleep but you realized it was messy and deeply slept in. No doubt it smelled as bad as it looked. “Follow me?” 

Follow you? Follow you where? He’d trusted you so far. He continued to hold your hand as you led him from his room. “Where are we go-“ 

“We’re going on an adventure.” You squeezed his hand gently while leading him down the hall and the stairs.

 In the dining area at the table sat Hunter and Echo. Both men were distracted in a discussion over information Rex had found on some Republic medical staff prisoners. The stairs creaked under the dual weight of you and Crosshair as the two of you walked down them. Hunter looked over to say good morning to you and was surprised to see your hand wrapped around his vods. You paid them both little mind as you rounded the stairs and stepped through the door marked private. Hunter tried to wave down Crosshair and ask what the hell was going on but the man seemed just as lost as he was. The door shut with a gentle swoosh leaving Hunter and Echo to ponder what the hell they’d just seen. 

Crosshair looked around your small apartment in surprise. He was in your private space right now. The space that no one was supposed to see besides your friends. What did that make him? He’d only known you for two weeks and you’d barely spoken to each other. You walked into a side room and pulled him in behind you. The bed made it clear that this was your bedroom. It smelled of flowers and fresh linen while your bed looked incredibly comfortable and inviting. 

Finally, you stopped and motioned to your bed. “Please, get comfortable.”

“But it-“ you raised your hand to him quickly and shook your head. 

“Your bedding needs to be washed. None of the other rooms are set up for guests right now. So the obvious choice was for you to use mine.”  Stepping over to the bed, you pulled down the white floral print duvet and matching sheet before motioning for him to get in. “Don’t worry, I won’t watch you sleep.” 

“I didn’t think you would.” Maybe he did a little but you’d never know that. He walked over to your bed and carefully sat down on it. It was so soft and comfortable. 

“Oh, he’s snappy.” You winked at him while walking back around the bed and towards the door. “I like that.” You stood in the doorway and watched as he laid down and got comfortable. “Refresher is over to the left and there’s a pitcher of fresh water on the bedside table. Get some rest and I’ll see you at dinner.” 

“Why are you doing all of this?” He asked as he rested his head against your soft pillow. Now this was a nice bed. 

“Because we all need a little help sometimes.” Whether it was getting out of a rut or seeing the bad that others already could see. “Sweet dreams, Crosshair.” 

He turned his head and watched as you stepped out of the room. “Thanks” came as a whisper that only he could hear. 

Crosshair lay in the bed for what felt like an eternity, sleep eluding him for the time being. His mind raced over the events of the morning so far. First, he’d sat with you outside, then he’d met Chai and sat with her, you’d actually fed him and now he was lying in your very large bed. How had he gone from the sad darkness of his room to the light happiness of yours? He looked around from the warmth of the bed and picked up on a few things. You kept a datapad that was designed for reading next to your bed as well as a box of tissues. Your balcony led to the garden where the smell of flowers was coming from and your closet could be seen from the bed. There was, in fact, a large amount of sundresses within. There were also a few trophies on your wall surrounding a vanity with a large mirror that was directly across from the bed. It was a nice room. The scent of your perfume hung on the pillow pulling him from his thoughts and finally, after countless sleepless nights and an hour of laying in your bed, he fell into a deep sleep.

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