#this came out hella longer then i meant

[sukunasweetheart]

👀👉🏾👈🏾 Sukuna x Reader ex's to lovers?

wowowow i cant believe im doing like another celebrity au again but here goes nothing ahaha...

i love this trope, i ended up writing a WHOLE, lengthy ass, detailed plotline on it i hope u dont mind <3 (A WHOLE WHOPPING 6K WORDS YALL)

prepare for hella angst, OOC sukuna, insecure fem!reader, ghosting, messy break up, conflicting and complicated feelings + sexual tension and then intense smut @ the end (make up sex)

imagine sukuna being like, an amateur model-turned-actor, with you being his highschool sweetheart, who was there to support him since day one

a very happy, fulfilling relationship for the most part-- until he starts gaining huge amounts of popularity.

youve always known that he was meant and born to reach sky-high levels of success, and you were certain he was going to make it one day

but things get rockier by the second, and insecurity is such an ugly, ugly thing

seeing him model with other beautiful celebrities, acting in roles where he had a love interest to kiss and fondle, reading those gossip scandal articles involving him and another party every few months or so-

it all got too much for you.

all you needed was some reassurance... but young and vivacious sukuna, drunk on this fame and attention, failed to recognise that and left you feeling neglected.

not on purpose tho, he's never engaged in infidelity, he's never gazed upon someone else with lust or love on his mind - he was using everyone around him as a stepping stone towards his own career

sukuna's known you since forever, and he was confident that you knew his affection for you was unwavering... so he failed to understand where you were coming from whenever you brought these things up

arguments after arguments after arguments

the worst part of it was that he wanted to keep his relationship with you a secret. saying something about how having a significant other would slow his progress in his career down... the decision was urged on by the entertainment company that he was in a contract with

it hurt so damn much when he was being interviewed on tv about his romantic life, only for him to tell the world he was single.

it leads to more arguing.

of course, as a rising celebrity, he was quite awfully busy with many business trips and attending a lot of parties and galas

another terrible fight occurred right before he had to leave for a flight overseas but by then, youd pretty much already decided that you were going to leave him

you basically ghosted him, packing all your belongings overnight, blocking his number and all his social media accounts, making sure even all yours and his mutual friends didn't know of your whereabouts. you're going to start fresh. and give him no closure.

it was petty revenge, and maybe immature of you, but you were just as young as he was, and you wanted him to hurt as badly as you were hurting back then.

sukuna's still overseas, having just come back from another fancy gathering and is fresh out of the shower, in his hotel room... he decides he's gonna try and give you a call, but ofc you don't pick up

he sighs and convinces himself that he'll sort things out with you later when he gets back, not knowing that there won't be a 'later'.

meanwhile you're dragging a suitcase out of the apartment, taking a taxi somewhere else far away, crying as you pass by giant billboards that have pictures of sukuna plastered all over

he feels like such a faraway person now. no longer someone who you used to cuddle closely in bed, or hold hands with. you're not even sure of who you are without him anymore.

you could imagine his reaction when he came home, only to find your entire existence missing. seriously, it was like you were never there. you left nothing of yours behind, and the place was cleaned spick and span, not a hair of yours to be found.

when was the last time sukuna felt so panicked?? this dull ache in his chest, as he spams you calls and texts that never reach you

he contacts mutual friends in rotation but everyone is absolutely clueless... he considers filing a missing persons case but then a trusted friend of yours tells him to not look for you... and that you wanted them to relay a message to him, just a simple goodbye.

what the fuck are you talking about?

oh, here comes a severe headache.

his mind is whirring with overlapping memories, thoughts, regrets, thinking about any clues that might give away where you couldve gone, but theres simply nothing

the shock moves into sorrow, then denial, and then it turns to anger. does he mean nothing to you? so much so that youd abandon him without saying a word?

its like he was going through the five stages of grief, but for someone who he knew was still alive..

eventually, he finds a rebound out of spite. if youve left him, then it's means he's free and single, right? he gets himself piss-drunk, and beds another, only to wake up feeling absolutely disgusted. it feels like... it feels like he's cheated on you. even though you're already gone. he's just a mess of conflicting emotions, and it lasts for so long.

the reason why he doesnt hire someone or use some other underhanded method to actually look for you is because of a weird mixture of both his pride and feelings of insecurity, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you do deserve someone better, someone who understands you more... (and he's also fearful that someone like you, might've already found love somewhere else, and he's definitely not confident that he'll be able to act maturely if he sees its true)

eventually, acceptance does come... but does it really?

i like to think he went through many failed relationships, his partners always leaving him upon witnessing him getting intoxicated and calling for none other than your name in his state. someone who no one around him knows anymore.

years pass, and time really does allow you to forget. for both you and sukuna alike. in your mid thirties, both of you are single at this time.

you've been busy with your new job at some company (dont ask me, i was too lazy to decide what kind, so u guys can make this one up bye), and he made sure to keep himself busy as well. no time for fleeting romance.

of course, until fate does that weird thing where it pushes people together again... a new project lands in your lap, where it involves some kind of collaboration with THE celebrity, ryomen sukuna. of fucking course.

you really did desperately try to get it off and pass this off to some other colleague but they insisted your involvement was necessary. what are you supposed to do? you almost decide to quit... but this job means a lot to you... you can't just throw everything away because of an ex... right?

and, oh my god, when the first meeting does happen, involving the celebrity himself, you and a couple other coworkers to discuss the project, sukuna sees you and his brain short circuits for a moment.

he starts doubting his own vision, and then he reminisces, in the middle of whatever the fuck everyone else was talking about during the meeting.

"... Mr. Ryomen?" one of the other participants ask.

he clears his throat, regains his composure and regathers his focus. he's an actor for god's sake. and he starts speaking, with thoughts of you in the back of his mind. about how much youve changed, but also remained exactly the same...

during introductions, you shake his hand and act professionally. his eye twitches. will you continue to pretend not to know him even afterwards? should he talk to you separately after this? no... doing that would mean he's the desperate one...

when you saw sukuna hesitating, part of you felt relieved. so you're not the only one getting freaked out. you don't expect him to acknowledge you anymore, though.

after the meeting, he walks out feeling confident that he's going to ignore you back, if this was the kind of game you're going to play with him. you mean nothing to him, just as he means nothing to you.

but he remembers the shock that went down his spine at the feeling of the warmth in your hand. he watches you take an elevator by yourself, and tries to make a split second decision on whether he wants to let you go, or if he wants to chase you down.

he probably shouldn't bother.

but he impulsively speed walks down towards you, anyway.

youre startled when the elevator doors are blocked from closing just at the last second, with someone's arm coming through between. your heart skips a beat seeing that it's none other than sukuna.

what is this sensation? this mix of fear and... excitement. you should be unperturbed. you're over him. he's someone from the past. you're buzzing with these feelings, but there also comes a creeping resentment that finds its way to you again, as you try to remember why you left him in the first place.

he unclicks whatever level you were heading to, and clicks on the highest level instead. he's gonna take you to the rooftop of the building, where he can confront you peacefully.

"Mr. Ryomen? Is there something wrong?" you ask him. still feigning ignorance. like salt to a wound. you know its another petty move from your part, but you can't help yourself.

"Don't call me that. You know damn well why I'm here," Sukuna drawls, sounding more sad than angry. they've really become strangers.

you grow silent, being hit with a pang of guilt. deep down, you knew you shouldve handled it more maturely than that. he deserved closure, and you needed it too. but isn't it too late for all that now?

the conversation flows tense, but unravels slowly. there's still a lot of questions being withheld though. he wants to ask you how youve been. were you able to sleep peacefully after you left him? why did you have to leave in the worst way possible?

a familiar headache creeps up.

simultaneously, the anger finds its way in his heart all over again. he knows he didn't do much good towards the end of their relationship either but ghosting him was plain disrespectful and childish.

you surprise him when you give a sudden heartfelt apology.

you tell him that you know apologising now after all these years is frankly almost meaningless but still, he didnt deserve to be left behind in that kind of way. you admit that you should've communicated with him properly that you were breaking up with him.

he's left kinda speechless, bc he was so ready to be all snarky to you after everything.. he's still mad, but he can't really say shit anymore without sounding like too much of an asshole.

truth be told, if you did stay around to tell him that you were breaking up with him beforehand, he probably wouldn't have let you go... where would you guys be now, if you never separated?

"i've always wanted to apologise. it's been weighing on me ever since i left."

...and yet, you didn't ever think to call or text him even once afterwards? he never changed his number in hopes for that, and he hates himself for it.

"i understand that you hate me now, but let's try to get through the collaboration without trouble. and then we can part ways again."

that one pierces his heart, like a bullet. you haven't said anything technically wrong. he should hate you. or at least, he should feel indifferent by now. and yet... the way that you automatically assume so irks him badly.

"do you really believe that i hate you? aren't you the one that hates me?"

it's a stupid fucking question. what the fuck is he even saying? he wants to kick the elevator door.

"...i left because i thought you hated me, that you didn't need me anymore. and i tried to convince myself that i hated you too. but that couldn't be further from the truth. even now, i don't ha-"

before you can say any more, the elevator doors open, and a small group of employees are standing outside them, looking curiously in at you and sukuna. then, they realise who he is. they come flocking in, asking for autographs and pictures.

you quietly slip out of the crowd, and after giving one quick glance at sukuna, who visibly wants to pursue you again, you walk away to avoid gathering attention on yourself. wait-! dammit- he thinks.

he can't chase after you. he can't call out for you to stop. he can't push all of these people away. if he did, it will cause rumours and unfavourable articles to fly out. let's try to get through the collaboration without trouble. his own fame becomes another obstacle between you and him.

back then, you were his whole world, yet somewhere along the path, he started to fail in making you feel like it.

he watches you take the fire exit towards the emergency stairs, while he's surrounded by overbearing fans who beg for his attention. you're going to have to walk down in your heels, all because of him. as he catches the final glimpse of you, as he's reluctantly dealing with his fans, he begins to understand, a little bit. he didn't want to understand why you decided to leave him. but he does now. a little.

a couple of stairwells down, you eventually pause for a moment and sit down on the last step to take a breather. you wipe your sweaty palms against your skirt. the familiar tug at your heart, in which your insecurities come flowing back to you, seeing him surrounded. you need to build higher, stronger walls around you from now.

when sukuna is done on his end, and sends them off down the elevator, he goes off to check down the stairs you went, but you've already booked it. slipped right through his fingers. you were about to say something important. with unresolved feelings, sukuna also takes the stairs down, with a heavy heart. each step down brings him another old, nostalgic memory of you to him.

from then on, the more he interacts with you during work-related matters, the more apparent it becomes that he still harbors feelings for you. he tries to ignore it, push it back down, but it only returns twice as overwhelming.

your voice. the way you smile. the scent of your perfume. exactly the same as back then. yet, he also observes the changes that have occurred in you; how you act, speak and the kinds of words you use, as well as seeing you in such a professional setting rather than personal - everything is coming together to allure him more, and he's in a state where he's unable to resist this attraction, but also unable to act on it, because he's not sure how you'd react to it.

he knows it's not just him getting drunk on nostalgia.

the next time he catches you alone, he makes sure to tell you that he doesn't hate you like you believe he does. you'd never admit it, but that gave you butterflies in your stomach.

in fact, everything sukuna does, even just locking eyes with you for a few seconds, is enough to make your heart rate increase, intensifying when he looks at you almost like... almost like he wants you. you must be imagining things.

he finds himself doing uncharacteristic deeds, like sending coffee for all the staff members. his manager passes them out to everybody, including you. he doesn't know if you still like your coffee the same way as he remembers, but he makes sure that yours is a little different, a little more specific than everyone else's, in hopes that you'll notice these small gestures of his.

over the course of the project, he inches closer to you, ever so slowly. but you don't seem to budge. even worse, you seem to be avoiding him as much as you possibly can. you avert your gaze from his. stagger away when he gets close.

he brings it up on one occasion, when he's able to approach you at the back of the building, where there's no one around, and no watchful eyes of a nosy audience. it's definitely frustrating and unpleasant- when he wants to speak with you, he has to keep distance in case another scandal rises. he doesn't want to drag you into the spotlight, without knowing if you're okay with it first.

sukuna only really talks to you when there's nobody around. maybe he's being considerate of you, but it gives you the impression that he doesn't want to be seen hanging around with you. it makes you remember things you don't want to. it makes you remember that being with him now requires a courage that you're not sure that you have. at the very least, you know you definitely didn't have it back then.

you keep conversations short with him, and try to leave. but he keeps at it persistently. what is he trying to do? is he toying with you?

"you're acting like you want us to get back together. don't do things that'll make me misunderstand," you tell him. you were trying to provoke him. expecting him to deny it harshly and back away, because you knew he was prideful- he'd never be caught being hung up over an ex.

"...and? what if i told you that i do want that? would you stop avoiding me then?" he takes one step forward, and you take one back, proving his point.

why is he pushing aside his ego for you? where did all his arrogance go off to? this isn't how the sukuna in his twenties would've responded. his answer makes you waver, and you don't appreciate that. you try not to show it.

"no. i'd only begin to avoid you even more. so don't start."

"i'm not," you deny, but your voice betrays you. he clings onto that.

"why? ...afraid that you'd cave in to me?"

like the way he's already pretty much caved in for you?

"you don't sound very convincing."

"...would you want someone who'd choose their career over you?"

that stops him in his tracks. he has nothing to say to that. because he did make that mistake. where he prioritised his job over your feelings.

"i don't hate or blame you for that anymore, sukuna. but you have to understand... i don't want to go through that pain ever again. i don't want to hold you back. we both deserve more compatible partners."

your own words sting yourself, and you try to go again right after saying that, because it's getting too much for you. his hand flies out to grab yours out of instinct, to stop you from leaving. leaving him again.

it's really not like him to be the clingy ex, pathetically begging to be taken back, but he's willing to throw such pride away if it means you'll be appeased. if you'll let him back into your life again.

"don't say that. you never held me back-- you were my home and my everything, and i was the one that started to take you for granted," he says gently, his low voice laced with sorrow, so uncharacteristically. you've only ever heard this kind of tone from him once before, and it was when his grandfather, who was like a parent to him, had passed away. his thumb brushes over your hand.

"give me another chance. this time i'll let the whole world know about us. about how much you mean to me."

he gets in close ever so slowly, and you let him, for only a moment, before gently pushing him away, with a hand on his chest.

sukuna hitches in a breath, heart sinking to his stomach. he wants to embrace you so, so, so bad. he needs your warmth. always has been. always will. but he sees that you're unrelenting, which breaks him.

"no, stop... i'm sorry, i can't."

you're still scared. you keep thinking about how lonely you felt when you were with him, at least right before the break up. seeing him laughing through the tv screen. alone in the living room. and all the arguments.

your hand slips out of his, and he lets you go. he feels empty when you walk away. hollow. the similar feeling he felt when you first left him, but less anguish and more despair. when he gets home, he tries to drink those feelings away. something he rarely does. old regrets and heartaches return, and he drinks until he passes out.

while he drinks, you weep. crying into your pillow, wondering if you're doing the right thing. wondering if this is how it's supposed to be. terrified of being with him again, but also terrified of losing him, like a hypocrite.

from then on, sukuna keeps a respectful distance from you... no longer trying to make approaches in secret, no longer pursuing you every chance he gets. but he still sends out coffee. even provides snacks to the crew. little do they know, they're the kinds of snacks that he knows you loved. hopefully, you still do. he'll keep his distance because it's what you want, but he wishes to keep doing these little things for you. subtly.

and you notice it, too. you have vivid memories of telling him about your favourites and preferences back then, and you recognise what he's trying to do. you drink the coffee. and you always grab a handful of the snacks. you do appreciate it. it makes you happy that he remembers. on a few occasions, you turn to look at him, only to witness him looking away at the last second.

it's not too long before the project is successfully finalised, and all their efforts have been rewarded. a celebration is due, and your boss throws a party at a fancy hotel for everyone to enjoy themselves at. sukuna had stopped going to so many gatherings and parties quite a while ago, but he attends knowing that you'll be there as well. he'll see you for the final time before he'll lose any excuses to be around you ever again. it'll be the final night.

you exchange a few words with him at the venue, but the two of you leave each other to mingle with other groups reluctantly, to avoid suspicion. both of you are quite tense all throughout the night, sipping on some wine to ease it, but it still doesn't relax the tension you feel, no matter how far away sukuna stands from you.

a few hours in, and you decide to excuse yourself early to head up into your designated hotel room. your boss covered the expenses for a night, and it would've been a waste to decline it, so you decided to stay. sukuna isn't around anywhere at the venue anymore, so you assume he's already left. you thought about saying farewell, but it didn't seem appropriate after you flat out rejected him. you still have doubts about the decision. because you miss him. but what's done is done, and you can't take back what you've already said.

however, getting to the hotel elevator, you notice he's standing there, with miraculous timing. you awkwardly "hey" him, and he says it back, hands in his pockets.

the two of you step inside when it arrives, and the thick tension remains.

"i'm surprised. i thought you'd be staying around longer for the party," you tell him.

he can't tell you that he found it unbearable, to see you hanging around other people, but being unable to get closer to you himself.

"i just got a bit tired," he lies. "did you have a lot to drink?"

"not at all. i had a few glasses, but i'm still sober."

"same here."

as the lift gets closer to your level, you get antsy, thinking about what to say before you leave, but your thoughts get interrupted when he asks you something abruptly.

"...can i walk you to your room? for the last time."

you swallow thickly on nothing, and feel how your chest aches at the words. last time.

"alright. sure," you say.

he wasn't expecting you to say yes, but he's glad you're letting him stay beside you a little longer. you're staring at the elevator doors, but he's looking at your face from the side. if only the lift would malfunction and stop, right here.

but it doesn't, and soon, he's really walking beside you as you get to your hotel room door, in silence. you unlock it using your key, and then that's it.

"thanks for walking me here," you say rather sheepishly. the thought of him wanting to spend even a few more seconds with you... your hold on the door knob is tight as you stand, face turned around to look at him. it's taking everything in you to stand your ground. last minute guilt and regrets are bombarding your thoughts, and...

"i'll say this now because i probably won't get another chance again," sukuna starts, looking directly into your eyes. his eyes are mellow, and he looks wistful.

"i'm sorry. i realised i never apologised, even though that's the first thing you did for me," he starts. he knows there's a mountain of reasons he is apologising for, but he decides he'll keep this short for your sake.

".. i can't lie to you and say that i wish for your happiness with someone else. 'm not that nice." you know it the best. and you understand, because you don't think you'd be able to withstand seeing him happy with someone else, either.

"find your happiness elsewhere, thanks," he grunts humorously. for god's sake. he's never been good at things like this. being heartfelt. at least it made you chuckle a bit. his expression of indignation melts away into a melancholic one again.

"i still love you." (always have, always will.)

you fight back sudden tears, and your throat begins to ache. sukuna unclenches his fist, and tries to relax himself more.

"and...i'll miss you," he breathes the phrase out. says it so quietly, like it hurts for him to say. (i don't want to let you go.)

something snaps within you and everything starts to scream at you to take everything back, and stop him from going away. don't go- don't go- don't go-

"...goodnight."

he notices your wet eyes, and he has to fight back against the urge to reach out and wipe it away. to rescind his farewell, and pull you into his arms again - forcefully, if he has to. he needs to leave, before he loses control.

you're panicking, and your vision is swimming, and you don't think you'll ever be happy again if you let him go like this-- you're gonna be heartbroken in the worst way imaginable. you want him back, and you know you're being unreasonable after turning him down like that, but you don't care anymore. you want to go against your fears. you want to try being with him again.

before you can stop yourself, your hand catches onto the hem of sukuna's sleeve, seconds before he takes another step away from you.

his eyes widen, and he looks at your grip on his sleeve, like he's checking to see if it's real, and he's not making this shit up in his mind. his heart beats impossibly fast. his hopes skyrocket. the world decided to have mercy on him.

"...you're being unfair, grabbing onto me like this. after i went through hell just now, trying to say goodbye." he's being awfully patient right now.

you don't respond, only silently weeping.

he waits to see if you'll let go, whether this was just an act out of a temporary fickle in your heart, but your grip remains tight, and you're now just looking up at him with tears rolling down, eyes glossy and desperate, pulling at his heart strings. you only let go when he comes back to you, not hesitant to brush his thumbs across your face now, wiping the wetness away.

"what do you want me to do? tell me, and i'll do it. leave? stay?" sukuna coos at you, like he's always done before, waiting patiently until you've calmed down enough to respond properly.

"i shouldn't... i shouldn't let you in. not after how much i'd pushed you away," you whisper. today was supposed to mark the end of it all.

he doesn't even give a fuck about that anymore. what matters is now.

"...but do you want to let me in?"

"...yes," you hic.

he takes a couple of steps forward, making you step back with him, his hand on your waist to make sure you don't trip on the way. he goes past the doorway and into your hotel room slowly. one- two- three- steps. he closes the door behind him quietly.

"and..? what next?" he asks in a low voice, standing close to you, one hand still remaining on your waist, and the other on your upperarm.

"i... i don't know. i just need you," you mumble, looking up at him, eyes red from crying and half-closed. your hands inch up along his back, grabbing handfuls of his suit jacket. sukuna hitches in a breath and something dark flashes across his eyes. they reflect his desire, his almost carnal desperation for you-

"forgive me. i don't think i can hold myself back, anymore."

he captures your lips in his, and groans shamelessly into you. you grip onto him tighter, heart beating so rambunctiously that you fear he can hear it too. it feels too good. the moment he reached you, it felt like the final piece of a puzzle clicking in to complete a full picture.

you part your mouth, and he wastes no time in slipping his tongue inside, kissing you in the way he knows you love, in the way it makes your lips tingle, and, oh god, even after all these years, he still knows how to get you going like no other.

sukuna tastes the traces of wine on your tongue, and even better, he tastes you, the one he'd been missing and craving all this time, the warmth of your skin and touch, your scent, just everything about you, you, you.

he backs you towards the bed, without breaking this breathless, hungry kiss, where he softly lays you down, with him being above you, chest to chest, arms supporting his weight. he momentarily pulls away from you simply just to breathe, and the two of you gaze at each other for a hot second, full of love and lust, breaths overlapping one another. he attempts to ask you "do you still wanna continue?" just in case, but before he gets to say a word, you grab him by his tie and pull his lips to yours again, beginning to loosen it and take it off.

he understands that you want it, now. you successfully manage to untie it, somehow, with just willpower alone, and you start aiming for his buttons next, undoing them one by one. your actions send sparks down to all of his limbs, and he feels so fulfilled by your desire of him, being as intense as how he obsesses over you.

soon after you're done with it, he takes them off and chucks his own clothes away, rendering him half-naked. your hole clenches around nothing at the sight once he pulls away again, his firm muscles and the same old tattoos that you vividly remembered the patterns of. you greedily run your palms across his pecs, eyes turning to hearts. he smirks at you.

it's his turn now, and he doesn't hesitate to start undressing you as well. sukuna gets dizzy at the thought of being able to feast his eyes on your body. he dives in to keep kissing you, and then begins to unbutton you with such speed, it almost startles you.

it's off. your breasts are out in the open now, and sukuna has his fill with massaging them with his large hand, having missed them so much. his palm feels so hot, and your nipples pebble up at his touch, making you gasp into his mouth.

his kiss moves over to the side of your face, it glides down your neck, shoulders, and eventually reaches the swell of your chest. your fingers brush through the pink of his hair as he does so, and you purse your lips together, basking in the feeling of his warm kisses littering your skin. he leaves you hickeys-- the same shape and size and same locations as he used to even during your days in highschool, and you chuckle to yourself at the thought.

it's not long before he's loosening your skirt and slipping your undergarments down, getting rid of your slick-stained panties, much to his satisfaction. sukuna rubs a thumb over your aroused clit, and you whimper, having missed the touch of a man- his touch specifically.

"fuck... you're so wet.... all for me?" he asks, proceeding to slip two fingers into your weeping hole. you arch your back at the feeling, how his thick digits scissor inside of you and press up against a particularly lovely spot. he watches your every response as he does so, watching how you moan because of his touch, and how you're grabbing at his wrist because it's getting too intense. his cock prods uncomfortably against his pants. you're producing so much slick, and his fingers are getting absolutely drenched.

when he takes them out, you whine a little in disappointment.

"i know, i know. i'll give you something better," he whispers, kissing your cheek.

he unbuckles himself, and lowers his boxers to reveal his aching dick, tip wet with precum, veins bulging out the sides. looks the same as you remember. he pumps it a couple of times with his hand that's still covered with your slick, and he twitches. this isn't a dream, is it?

"oh god, please, i need it-" you plead, your hole feeling eager and empty.

"it's all yours," he mumbles. your begging makes him lightheaded as he lines himself up at your weeping cunt.

"i'm all yours."

when he sinks in deep to the hilt, you cry out at the fullness, as his tip pushes the spot inside you that had been feeling so lonely for years. your hands finds themselves against his back, feeling for his tight muscles.

"shit- 'm gonna lose my mind," sukuna groans as he gives a few shallow thrusts into you, cock so hard and throbbing wildly as your plush walls clamp on him and coats him with your arousal. he grabs one of your hands from his back and interlocks his fingers with yours against the mattress, before leaning down to bring his lips against the side of your neck.

"oh, thank god... thank god, you changed your mind. i love you. i would've been so fucking miserable without you, doll. for the rest of my life," he croons, breath fanning so close to your ear. you shudder at the tone of his voice, tearing up again, mixed with pleasure and relief, and you grab his hand tighter.

you turn your head a little more to the side, making it easier for sukuna to bite and suck on the sensitive skin of your neck, as his thrusts increase in speed, nudging your g-spot with every movement.

soon enough, he's bringing his attention back to your tongue, which he caresses with his own, nibbling on your lower lip, maintaining this same perfect pace in his thrusts that brings you closer to your orgasm.

"sukuna- i'm- i'm gonna-" you say breathlessly.

but he merely kisses you again, swallowing up any words you could say or moans you could let out, not minding the gasps and whimpers that you make.

sweat beads on his perfect body, and he makes out with you through your high, groaning back when he feels your walls flutter around him. he's close. even once you've finished cumming, he begins to pound into you quicker, wanting to get to his own orgasm. you claw at his back, crying out in pleasure, as sukuna's tongue lathers your jawline.

he wants to breed you so fucking bad. but no, that'll have to wait. he can't do something to jeopardize your trust in him. he'd rather die than endure another second of being distanced from you again.

right before he's pushed off the edge, sukuna pulls out and desperately jerks himself off above your stomach, panting as his cock throbs in his hand with every spurt that coats you, feeling so hot against your tummy.

you feel a twinge of disappointment, because you also wanted to feel that in your womb...

his dick twitches weakly after being spent, and he breathes heavily, liking the sight of you being covered in his seed for another time. (and many more from now.)

" 'kuna... it's a safe day for me today," you suggest to him without thinking. "i want it inside me..."

the phrase is enough to get heat pooling in his abdomen, and he feels himself get hard all over again.

"you sure, doll? if it's what you want, i'll..." he begins to say, almost flustered by your suggestion. you know you shouldn't say this next line, but it's so easy to get carried away with this man... get caught up in the heat of the moment.

"i want your babies so bad."

you've hit his switch. sukuna growls and puts you into a mating press instantaneously, making you squeak.

"no takebacks," he mutters dangerously, beginning the second round.

the night is long, but heavenly, as soon after he dumps everything he has into your womb, then proceeds to eat you out, making you cry for the third time before sunrise.

when you're awake, it's already heading past midday, and you're relieved to see that yesterday's happenings were not a dream, seeing as the large man is sleeping with an iron hold around your body, as if subconsciously afraid you'd leave him before he woke up again.

he awakens from his slumber to your light, feathery touches on his face, which puts him in a good mood from the moment he opens an eye. it was the scenario he's always dreamed of. waking up next to you, smiling.

there's much to talk about. about what's to come next, future plans, worries, and things they need to do to make amends for all the lost years between each other. but you decide to take things slow.

back to bullet points again bc im lazy to write it properly now

you spend the weekend w him at the hotel and stuff, just playing eating and sleeping, catching up yk

he tells you on his own accord that he wants to let everyone know that he's with you now, but he's worried that it'll bring backlash to you but you tell him you're going to be brave and take it, bc you WANT everyone to know

anyway prepare for turbulence

but everything'll be alright bc hes with you

im thinking about how mopey he'll be when you have to separate from him bc you each have your own homes rn, hes always asking you to come over or if he can come over to your place

and he'll be begging you to move in soon, like old times (he lives in a rich man house now tho)

and also thinking about how its a fresh start, but they also go through old memories and now reminiscing isnt painful anymore bc yall are back together

sukuna also says he's stopped doing romance genres in acting bc he had felt annoyed acting in lovey dovey scenes when his own love life used to be in shambles all the time

and bc hes at a point in his career where he has more choice in choosing between scripts that are offered to him, he's going to continue to decline the ones that have love interests, it doesnt affect him that much anyway

he's just being more considerate of your feelings now... and you promised him that you'll never just disappear like that again when you're upset haha...

sometimes when you still have a few disagreements with him, he keeps subtly checking up on you (hes traumatised, leave him be)

lots of facetiming when he has to go overseas for filming purposes <3

okay, thats all, bye <3

Masterlist

[aeternallis]

Colin's "entrapment" line was hard to listen to, but it was most definitely a sign of how unhinged he really is for Penelope.

Ok but for reals, I'm not sure how everyone else reacted when Colin said his now infamous "entrapment" line, but I just love how if one looks at this line a little more closely, it was definitely some semblance of an underhanded (and also a bit silly, lol) attempt to actually keep Penelope entrapped. Haha, the irony of it all. Idk, at least that was my read on it!

Like, it was definitely said in anger as well; he's hurting, and he’s hurting badly, so of course he wants to hit back in some way, however he can. Luke Newton absolutely meant it when he said that Colin reacts to the reveal in the worst way possible, alas.

My very first reaction to that scene: //pauses the screen to yell at Colin at 4am in the morning, “Entrapment????! If you feel trapped, then why the hell are you still going along with it, ya dumb ass!!!

Because really, think about it: Colin was definitely within his rights to call off the wedding, especially when he'd mentioned that Violet had noticed that he and Penelope had not seen each other for some time. It would have been the perfect time to reveal Penelope's secret to his mother, if indeed he felt entrapped by the LW of it all. Violet is family; if he wanted to still protect Penelope but no longer wanted to marry her, he would have been able to count on Violet's discretion. I'm sure she and Lady Danbury would have come up with some sort of plan to deal with the aftermath regarding the Bridgertons’ reputation, as we'd seen with Anthony and Edwina's botched wedding.

Furthermore, it would have probably been the better option to reveal it to her, since the existence of LW does put his family in danger; Penelope herself knows this. Every decision she makes post-LW reveal to Colin is due to the Bridgertons being in danger. Lady Danbury makes a point of this when she said in the last episode, “There is only one other person who loves the Bridgertons more than I.”

Eloise was able to keep the secret with no real consequences because although Penelope was her ex-bff, El still loves her, and besides that, nothing legal binds them as Colin's marriage to Penelope would.

Even when he was getting ready to talk to Benedict about getting funds to fulfill Cressida’s demands, he insisted on making up a lie to shield Penelope’s identity as LW. He knows more than anything that fulfilling a demand like this, all for the sake of his wife and at the cost of using a substantial amount of Bridgertons’ financial assets, may not put his marriage in the best light within his family. He doesn’t want to be forced to have to choose between his wife and his family, so he’s keen on keeping the lie going.

So for all intents and purposes, he doesn't tell his mother, or any of his other siblings (besides Eloise, who already knew); this in and of itself is hella fucking risky. The fact that Colin is willing to take this risk of withholding Penelope's secret identity from his family, the fact that he doesn't think to jeopardize this potentially risky betrothal—already goes to show the measure in regards to how much he wants Pen for his wife. We the audience know this because he waits until the very last minute to tell Violet, and even then, it's not Colin who chose to reveal it to her, but Penelope herself.

Another point: arguably, we can also say that Colin has a lot more wiggle room with his engagement to Penelope to call off the wedding, much more than he ever did with his engagement to Marina.

"A man of honor"? Exactly what "honor" are we talking about here? Colin claimed that he would have married Marina had she just told him the truth, yet when push came to shove and the truth of her pregnancy was revealed for all the world to know, he still chose to take the out Penelope gave him through LW. It’s easier to make a declaration like that when it’s all said and done. Lol Sure, he regretted it and apologized for his behavior later on, but he had made his choice regardless. Y’all can just feel Marina and Lady Danbury judging this dumb ass (affectionate) for dwelling in the past. Silly young man! XD What's stopping him this time around?

"We had been...intimate." Are you talking about the mirror scene, sir? Because let me assure you, you and Penelope have long been "intimate" way before you decided to buy a love nest and take her V-card the very next day you proposed to her. In fact, this is where the significance of their first kiss in 3.02 rings so, SO importantly and WHY it was vital that it was Penelope who asked and said that it would not have to mean anything. Colin knows Penelope would never use their first time together and/or the heated moment in the carriage as a way to entrap him. That first kiss alone should have already warranted that they get married, but Penelope makes it clear that it’s simply a favor, nothing more.

Oddly enough, I’m surprised Colin doesn’t bring up the idea of a long engagement (yknow, as he initially wanted with Marina, but who’s keeping track at this point), considering that would have potentially benefitted their situation. 🤔 His dumb ass (affectionate) was more than willing to stick to the wedding schedule…huh.

Besides all that, I don’t think it’s the showrunners’ intent to “taint” those special moments between them by changing the context through Colin’s (very biased) POV; to believe that to be the case would be, imo, just a bad faith argument. The genre is romance, y’all; these intimacy scenes are on an entirely different pedestal.

Because remember, that “entrapment” line of Colin’s only came about due to Penelope starting the conversation with, “Are you going to call off the wedding?”

Didn’t it almost seem like an afterthought, that he just came up with it on the spot? Hahaha.

I can bet y’all Cressida’s fake ass €20,000 blackmail money that before they’d met up to discuss wedding breakfast plans with their mamas, it had probably never even occurred to Colin to cancel their wedding. Angry and furious as he was, it was never a question of whether or not he still wanted Penelope for a wife.

The fact that it’s Penelope who begins that conversation and opens that Pandora’s box possibility is so, so damn important. Because not only does it show how much Penelope truly loves him in that she would never trap him, it also shows her maturity, in that she’s willing to face the consequences of her actions. She’s willing to give Colin the choice to back out, heartbreaking as it would be to face it, even if she herself would not be the one to pursue that choice.

She gives him the choice a good number of times: the wedding breakfast plan scene, the wedding day itself when she hesitates on the aisle, and the annulment offer after the butterfly scene.

Penelope defends herself softly, but truthfully: she never meant to entrap him, because she really didn’t. And Colin knows this; he would not still love her and want her if he honestly believed she wanted to entrap him. Hell, even if she did, the audience knows it’s a desire that comes from a good place: she loves him, so of course she doesn’t want to lose him. She wants to marry him, because she loves him. That’s all there is to it.

But despite knowing this (imo, anyway), we can also say that this conversation may have contributed to Colin’s downward spiral during the majority of episode 7 and 8, and why he becomes hella fucking desperate to be “useful” to her.

Because unlike himself, Penelope has now begun to entertain the idea of living a life that doesn’t include him—at least, not as her husband. Penelope is brave and strong enough to let him go due to the pain she caused him for her lies and her actions as LW, and as for Colin…well…

(I love it, it’s the same conundrum that Anthony faced in S2: Kate is strong enough to leave him behind and return to India, but Anthony…well…)

TL;DR, Colin’s entrapment line was literally an excuse he gave himself to keep his betrothal to Penelope intact. It’s a line that works in two ways simultaneously: it’s a painful, childish, underhanded thing to say in order to hurt Penelope’s feelings, to get back at her for the anguish he’s suffered. Yet at the same time, it’s also another excuse he gives himself in order to push through with the marriage, to tie Penelope to himself forever.

Because unlike Penelope, the very idea of living without her as his wife, of not having her in his life, is and always will be an impossible notion for Colin to ever entertain.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Make It Worth It

Pairing: Moonknight trio x Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: So many okay; body worship, HEAVY praise, multiple orgasms, oral (f,m receiving) unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it <3), creampie, hella petnames, fingering, kinda marking too, oh and cockwarming, a lil bit of a jealousy thing going, vague mentions of injuries

Genre: fluff & smut

Summary: The idea of you going on a date makes your friend confess feelings you didn't know they had

***

Meeting Marc Spector was something you'd consider a total fluke. A mishap with his suit had him limping down the street hardly able to hold himself up. Against... probably your better judgment, you brought him to your apartment- patched him up, got him some food, and let him crash on your couch. He was gone before you woke up in the morning and you honestly expected never to see him again. A couple of weeks later though he popped by to say thank you and introduce himself, you told him he could stop by if he needed help again. You didn't think he'd take you up on the offer but you were fast friends as you became his only confidante. Apparently, the vigilante life is not conducive to friendships, especially when you share your life with another; Steven Grant.

It was a while before Marc told you about Steven and you liked to call him Marc's best kept secret, considering Steven doesn't even know about it. It took even longer for you to meet Steven. Another mishap with Marc's suit had him frantically banging on your balcony door one night. You pulled open the door and he'd practically fallen into your apartment.

"Y/n! Hey!" He groaned.

"Jeez! I thought that stupid bird was meant to protect you Marc!" You crossed your arms.

"Help now, be mad later. Oh! And if I wake up and I'm not me, lie." He barely got the last bit out before he practically fell on you.

"Heavens above you still haven't told him the truth?" You groaned technically to yourself as you shoved a now unconscious Marc onto your couch. Even with him passed out you'd gotten more than enough practice patching him up that you had it so down that you were quick and efficient. He was out for quite some time afterwards, you even made dinner before he suddenly startled awake.

"Who are you? Where am I? What are you doing here?" The unfamiliar British accent immediately told you that night that Steven had woken up instead of Marc.

"Um- this is my apartment so that's where you are, I live here so that's what I'm doing here and my name is y/n. You're Steven right?"

"How did you know my name?" He'd looked at you suspiciously.

"I- I looked at your wallet for ID?" He does have his wallet on him so that lie was totally believable.

"Well why am I here?" 

That was the question you were dreading from the moment Marc passed out on you.

"You were hurt so I brought you here."

"Hurt? Hurt how?"

"I- I didn't see it happen. You were hurt when I got to you." You shrugged. It wasn't technically a lie. You didn't see Marc get hurt. The answer seemed to satisfy Steven at the time but maintaining separate friendships with Marc and Steven wasn't something you wanted to keep up long term. Hence, with some gentle nudging, Marc eventually revealed himself to Steven and you ended up having to help the duo navigate the new dynamic.

However, where you thought Steven was Marc's best kept secret; a new player had him beaten. A secret so well kept Marc didn't even know until after you did. And his name was Jake Lockley. Meeting him had actually happened intentionally on his end. Apparently tired of watching the back and forth between you and his alters he stepped in to meet you himself. You'll admit you and Marc toed the line pretty much since you met, flirting with each other but not obvious enough to change your dynamic, and once Steven got comfortable with you it was only too fun to tease him. So in came Jake; the hidden protector, questioning you and ultimately deciding you were safe for them to be around. He even trusted you enough to facilitate his introduction to the other two. Now you've got the whole trio you can call friends and they often tell you how instrumental they consider you in maintaining stability in their shared life. You really enjoy having them around most of the time even with how chaotic it can be covering for, patching up, and keeping track of their system.

Tonight, while you're finishing your makeup for a date, you hear a knock from the living room. You're not expecting anyone right now so when you leave your room and find Moonknight on your balcony you're not exactly surprised. You open the door and the suit disappears as he walks into your apartment.

"What're you all dressed up for?" Marc asks taking in your outfit.

"Hello to you too Marc." You roll your eyes.

"Hello. What're you all dressed up for?"

"I have a date tonight." You say with a shrug heading back to your room knowing Marc will follow you.

"A date? What date? You didn't tell me about any date."

"I don't have to tell you about dates."

"Why wouldn't you tell me though?"

"It's a first date Marc I'm not getting married. You're making it a much bigger deal than it is."

"It is a huge deal. You haven't been on a date since we met!"

"Thank you for pointing out that Marc yes this is my first date in a while. Did you come here for a reason? Doesn't that bird of yours have errands for you?"

"I always come here when I'm done with Khonshu's stuff. This is why it's a big deal you didn't tell me about this date. It throws off our routine!"

"Marc you coming here to eat my food after running around for skelo-bird is not set in stone."

"It is set in stone. If it wasn't we wouldn't do it every time."

"Well it's still early, so when I finish my date I'll text you and you can come back over and your routine will be fine."

"That's not the same."

"I dunno what to tell you sweetie, I have to leave, I'm meeting this guy in like 10 minutes."

"Don't go."

"Marc!"

"Come ooon I'm way more fun than whoever this random guy is anyway."

"You don't even know him."

"Neither do you. So stay."

"Let me get this straight, you want me to cancel my first date in over a year because it's more important that we watch a movie while you eat leftovers? Call me crazy but I'd personally rank those a little differently."

"I want you to cancel your first date in over a year because I don't want you to go on a date."

"Okay I know we're close but I feel like that's crossing a line a little bit. That's not really up to you."

"Princessa, are you intentionally misunderstanding him?" Jake's sudden appearance only further confuses you.

"No Jake. I genuinely have no idea what the deal is here and at this rate, I'm going to be late so one of you better start talking straight."

"He's jealous. He doesn't want you going on a date with anyone that's not... us, really. None of us do."

"All of this is about a crush? Bring Marc back out here." You roll your eyes.

"Look I did not send Jake out here to speak for me!"

"You are such a dunce." You smack his chest lightly.

"What?!"

"You don't want me to go on this date because you three like me and you couldn't just say that?"

"I dunno I guess I just didn't want to risk what we've already got, as friends." He says sheepishly.

"Say the words."

"What?"

"Say exactly why you don't want me going on this date and I'll cancel."

"I don't want you to go on this date because I have feelings for you. Stay home. I can make it worth it in any way you ask."

"Any way that I ask?"

"I'll worship you like a god if you want me to."

"Won't that make that silly old bird of yours a little jealous?"

"Let him be if he is. All that matters is you not going on this date and me showing you my gratitude."

"Alright, I'll call and cancel the date."

"Don't bother. Who cares if he gets ghosted?"

"First of all, I'm nice so I care; secondly that's the shit that gets women stalked."

"Oh please, as if he'd ever be able to hurt you with us around." Marc scoffs.

"Okay, bodyguard. The call will take less than two minutes and you'll have my attention the rest of the night." You say grabbing your phone and stepping into the living room. You notice Marc following you as you call your date.

"Hello?" 

"Lewis! Hi, I'm sorry to do this so last minute but something has come up and I'm not going to be able to make it to dinner."

"Oh. Is everything alright? Do you need anything?"

"Uh- thanks but I'll be fine! I just gotta take care of a thing and I didn't wanna leave you sitting there waiting."

"Yeah no, thanks for letting me know. We can reschedule."

"Sure! Soon as I get a handle on things I'll reach out to reschedule." You say, ignoring the look Marc gives you.

"Alright no problem. Good luck with your thing." Lewis says before hanging up.

"You aren't actually rescheduling with him, are you?" Marc asks you.

"Probably not." You shrug.

"Probably?!"

"I already canceled the date for you once."

"You making this hard for me on purpose sweetheart?"

"Not at all. Just not sure how things are gonna go." You smile.

"How things are gonna go? I'm gonna show you that canceling that silly date was the right idea and that you don't need anyone other than us."

"Us? Steven and Jake are in on this too?"

"Of course they are."

"Well, that's a big promise Marc, how do you plan to show me all of that?"

"I'm going to start by kissing you. Is that okay?" Marc asks, pulling you towards him with an arm around your waist.

"Absolutely." You say draping your arms over his shoulder. Marc's free hand comes up behind your head as he kisses you hard. You gasp against his lips and he uses the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Without warning, Marc lifts you into his arms and easily carries you back to your room, not even phased when you pull away from the kiss to squeal. He tosses you onto your bed and climbs over you with a smile.

"You have no idea how crazy we are about you." Marc breathes out, trailing kisses down to your neck.

"Crazy about me? Is that right?" You ask, a moan punctuating your question as Marc latches onto a particularly sensitive spot to turn purple.

"Completely." He says softly, staring at you so intently you pull him towards you for another kiss to escape the look in his eyes. Marc pulls away to tug your already bunched up dress over your head, leaving you in your bra and panties as he looks you over. "Fucking hell you're even more gorgeous than I could've imagined." Marc groans.

"You spend a lot of time thinking about me naked darling?" You can't help but chuckle at the thought as you take the moment of silence on his end to pull his shirt over his head and drag your nails down his chest appreciatively.

"I plead the fifth." Marc groans and moves to litter your chest in more patches of red and purple as he reaches under you to unhook your bra. His hands cover your breasts as soon as they're free, palms kneading the flesh while fingers toy with nipples. The sudden onslaught of stimulation has little whimpers falling from your lips that Marc decides he can't get enough of. He pulls one of your nipples between his lips, sucking, nipping, and tonguing at it to test your reactions, discovering all the sounds you make from this alone. "You make such cute little noises." He chuckles switching from one nipple to the other, pulling all the same sounds from you. Eventually, Marc trails his kisses down your stomach, soft and slow, like he has all the time in the world. "So pretty." He whispers. He pulls your panties down your legs, kissing your thighs on the way down and back up. "I'm so going to enjoy this." Marc says before burying his head between your legs. He licks a hard stripe between your folds that makes you moan and his arms wrap around your thighs before you can even squirm. Marc's tongue swirls around your clit as he watches you, testing what pulls the best reaction from you. When a certain rhythm has your fingers tugging at his hair he settles into it, intent on making you cum like that. Whimpers and cries fall from your lips in quick succession as he sucks and laps at your sensitive bundle of nerves. You writhe and grind against him, although his grip on your thighs restricts your movement as he works you quickly towards an orgasm.

"Holy fuck Marc!" You groan, throwing your head back and pulling almost too hard at his curls but the man between your legs only lets out a pleased growl at the action. "Fuck I'm close." You pant out and Marc wraps his lips securely around your clit, sucking harshly until your legs tense and your orgasm crashes into you with a silent scream. Marc doesn't even let you fully ride out the high before his fingers slide into your opening. He curls the two digits just right and you can feel the pull in your abdomen when he brushes the spot inside you. Your back arches into him as he works you open with his fingers, his tongue still lapping at your clit, determined to pull another orgasm from you. Your second orgasm hits you faster than the first your entire body twitching while you let out the prettiest whine Marc's ever heard.

"My goodness." Although the voice is muted in your pleasure fogged brain, you don't miss the accent in his words.

"Steven?!" You blink at him, chest still heaving slightly as you try to catch your breath. His eyes are as wide as saucers as he takes in the situation he's just been thrown into.

"Hi. I can't imagine Marc did this on purpose I-" Steven's words trail as his head snaps to the mirror hanging on your closet door. "He did this on purpose." Steven looks at you and then back at the mirror. "Why would you do that Marc?!" You pull his gaze back to you by grabbing his chin,

"Steven, calm down." You say.

"Clearly I've missed a lot because how did you two even end up like this?" Steven asks and your giggle at his confusion quickly turns into a whimper when the action makes you distinctly aware of his fingers still buried inside you. "My god, help me." Steven breathes out at the sound from your lips. "If this was your act of gratitude why am I here?!" Steven asks to the mirror and you suppose Marc told him how you, in his words, ended up like this. Steven makes a face at whatever Marc says next and then turns to you with a look you can only describe as curious. Before you can question it, his fingers inside you move tentatively, making you moan. He's less sure of himself than Marc had been but he watches intently as he slowly strokes your inner walls, enjoying the way you react to him. "You're absolutely breathtaking."

"And you, are simply adorable." You say bringing him down to kiss him. Steven is obviously much more nervous than Marc was and you take the lead in the kiss. You can taste yourself on his lips as you explore his mouth with your tongue. It seems your reactions feed his confidence as his fingers gain speed the longer you kiss him and soon you're moaning too much to actually do it properly.

"I love the sounds you make." Steven sighs. You pull his fingers from you before he can make you cum again and he pouts at you until you guide the fingers between your lips. You suck them clean, enjoying the way Steven takes a shaky breath at the action. You use one hand to undo his jeans and pull them down his legs, pulling his fingers out of his mouth for him to get up and shove them the rest of the way down with his boxers. You lean forward and take Steven into your mouth, swallowing him down as far as you can.

"Oh god." Steven groans and his eyes roll as he tosses his head back. You bob your head up and down his length, swirling your tongue as you go, enjoying the way he moans and shivers.

"I love the sounds you make too darling." You hum dragging your tongue along the vein that runs the underside length of his dick. Steven hisses and you wrap your lips around him again.

"Holy hell you're... really good at this." Steven's praise is breathy and stuttery. You take him all the way into your mouth, feeling him in the back of your throat. Rather suddenly, you feel his fingers in your hair tugging you off of him.

"Now, it was my understanding that we were meant to be showing you gratitude." Your ears perk up hearing the accent change.

"Jake, yeah so I've been told." You hum.

"And yet here you are pleasing Steven instead of him worshiping you." Jake's thumb rubs along your bottom lip.

"Steven is just so much fun to tease." You smile.

"Tease him later princessa, tonight is about you. How lucky we are to have you in our life. How much of an honor it is to kiss you, to touch you, to please you." Jake intentionally speaks slowly, staring at you intently.

"You are... very good with words." You muse.

"Have our actions not supported them?"

"Marc definitely, and Steven- before I got my hands on him, yes. You however haven't done anything but talk." You smirk at him.

"Tell me what you want from me and it's yours. Anything you ask." Jake says.

"In other circumstances that would be... a dangerous promise to make. But tonight, I just want you inside me. I want you to make me cum on your dick."

"With pleasure." Jake pushes you onto your back and tugs your legs to pull you towards him. He wastes no time lining himself up with your entrance and thrusting into you. Your back immediately arches at the fullness of Jake bottoming out and you can't help but moan. "Fuck you're so wet." He groans dropping his head to your shoulder for a moment. Jake sets a rhythm of sharp thrusts, deep but quick.

"Sh-shit Jake! Feels so good." You whine, dragging your nails down his back. He hisses at the sting and his thrusts pick up speed.

"God y/n you're perfect. So gorgeous. Taking this dick like you were made for us." Jake huffs out. One of his hands reaches between your bodies, finding your clit with ease. You squirm against his ministrations moaning as he drives into you repeatedly. "That's it princessa, moan for me, sounds so nice." He grits out, rubbing circles against your bundle of nerves. You grind against him, trying to bring your orgasm on quicker. "Cum for me sweetheart, let me feel you let go around me. Please mi vida." Jake sweetly kisses you as he practically begs for your orgasm and a few thrusts later you're falling over the edge, nails digging into his back as he watches the way pleasure washes over your face. Once your eyes slowly peel open, Jake tightens his grip on your hips and changes the pace of his thrusts, slowing down now.

"You're gonna cum inside me aren't you Jake?" You ask with a pout specifically to get what you want.

"Mierda." Jake's eyes close for a moment. "Is that what you want princessa?"

"Yes Jake, please."

"I told you I'd give you whatever you ask me for." Jake shifts slightly before picking up the pace of his thrusts, they're sloppier now as he focuses on chasing his own release. "I'll pump you so fucking full, you'll be leaking. Fuck you'll look even prettier dripping like that."

"Please Jake, give it to me. Fill me up baby." You whine, grinding against him. His hips stutter and stop buried inside you and you the warmth of his orgasm inside you makes you moan. Before Jake can twist to lay beside you, you pull him onto you comfortable with the weight of him on you. "Don't move yet, let's just- lay like this for a bit, please." You say.

"Thank fuck you didn't go on that stupid date." Jake mutters and you giggle a little.

"Thank fuck you said something or I would've."

"Well, did we make it worth the stay?" "I'd say so." "Good. After a nap you can discuss the details, probably with Steven, he'll have the most to say." Jake mumbles into your neck.

"I'll have to talk to each of you ya know." You say.

"Sure but start with him. All I have to say is I think you're perfect, and we'd be lucky if you date us."

"You're not the only lucky ones." You say kissing the side of his face. Yeah. It might have been by pure chance that you crossed paths with Marc over a year ago but you're glad the rest of your decisions landed you here. Even if it's not the trajectory you saw that first interaction leading to, definitely worth it.

***

[gojos-fr-bae]

The Altar Alternate Ending

Pairing: Gojo x fem!reader

Warnings: Itty Bitty Angsty but There's light at the end of the tunnel this time. Cussing and heavy emotions as well so proceed with caution

Word Count: 1.2K

A/N: Surprise Surprise. SURPRISE SURPRISEEEE. Ok so I wrote the original with a sad ending but honestly I can't bear it. I wanted write a part two were the had a happy ending (well not really happy, but hopeful that it will get better) but I just wrote this so you guys can have both options for those who prefer a happy ending aka me😤😤 If you haven't read the first version, You realy don't need to, but feel free😉 Also, I'm so sorry for being gone for so long, I have been hella sick the past two months I couldn't write, better now tho so yay😌😌

(Requests Open)

Today was the day. Your wedding day. The day you had been dreaming of since you found out what weddings were. As much as you knew that weddings technically weren’t a necessity, you wanted the whole world to know that you were marrying the love of your life. But the more you sat in your dressing room in your elegant white dress, looking up at the clock as seconds ticked by terror and dread began to sink in.

It was an hour since you were meant to be called out to walk down the aisle and you couldn’t take it anymore. You burst open the double door and ran halfway up the parted crowd of people before you noticed how everyone was looking up at you in pity.

Your breathing began to pick up and you began to feel dizzy, turning around and being met with his best man, Suguru, looking at you, face coated with pity and anger.

“I’m so, sorry Y/N” he whispered.

“Suguru what the hell is going on”

He just looked down at his feet, apologizing again In an almost inaudible tone, fists gripped around his phone so tightly they were shaking.

“SUGURU WHERE THE FUCK IS HE!” you shouted no longer caring about all your family and friends looking at you with worry.

“A mission came up in Tokyo and he said he’d be quick but-” You didn’t hear the rest of his sentence as your ears began ringing, and tears began to cloud your vision. Sobs wreaked through your body as you ran away. Ran away from Suguru, your parents, and the altar.

You ran from it all, and you never turned back.

~

“Y/N! Y/N PLEASE! MY LOVE WHERE ARE YOU!! PLEASE!!”

You heard your now ex-fiancé shouting at the top of his lungs, stumbling his way around the apartment frantically looking for you. His heart stopped as he looked down at you, no longer wearing your stunning wedding dress nor your engagement ring which sat on the ground next to the suitcase you were frantically packing.

“Y/N STOP! SWEETHEART WHAT’S GOING ON!” he sobbed, running towards you and desperately trying to pull you away from the suitcase but you were too heartbroken and angry to be stopped.

“My love please! Don’t do this! I’m sorry!”

“Sorry!? FUCKING SORRY?! THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF AFTER FUCKING ABONDONING ME ON OUR WEDDING DAY YOU JACKASS?!” You screamed, slapping him clean across the face, but he seemed completely unfazed as he picked up your engagement ring before trying to pull you into his arms as you zipped up your suitcase. 

“Y/N please, stop! Let's talk about th-”

“No! I’m done fucking talking Satoru!,You always do this!, missing a date or anniversary I can forgive! BUT OUR FUCKING WEDDING DAY!?!? I CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS, ALWAYS BREAK MY HEART AND I FORGIVE YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND I'M TIRED! I’m so fucking tired Satoru. I can’t- I just, can’t. I’m sorry.”

You ran to the front door and tried to reach for the door but Satoru squeezed himself between you and said door. His back was pressed to it with one of his hands back to clutch the handle, preventing you from leaving.(Imagine that one scene from the kdrama My name where the dad is trying to stop the killer)

“Satoru please move” you begged, voice cracking as you pleaded with him. You no longer had the energy to shout and fight anymore. You were mentally, emotionally, and physically fatigued. All you wanted to do was to collapse onto your knees and sob till you had no tears left to cry. But you knew you couldn’t stay. No longer could you force yourself to be in a relationship where you were no more than an afterthought.

“Baby p-please, please don’t-don’t leave. I promise I can fix this, please. You can punch me, kick me, stab me a thousand times. Rip me apart if you need to j-j-just don’t leave.” He begged, Tears streaming endlessly down his face. His entire body was shaking as he tried to convince you not to leave.

The weight on your shoulders finally became too much to bear as you fell to the ground and began to cry painfully. Satoru knelt down before you and wrapped his hands around you. Together, you spent the better of 6 hours in shambles, finally letting all the emotions out at all once.

***

You two were still sitting on the floor, breaths finally steady. Satoru still had his arms around you, rubbing soothing circles on your back. Neither of you had the energy to even stand up, as you both basked in the silence.

“They were gonna kill you,” he murmured, voice barely above a whisper. If the room hadn’t been so quiet, you likely wouldn’t have heard him.

You pulled away from him, despite his attempts to prevent it. You tried to meet his eyes but he had his eyes trained on the ground.

“What?” you questioned, thinking you just heard your own things.

“They wanted to kill you…the higher ups…they were going to kill you.” he repeated, tone pained and somber.

“Satoru, what on  Earth are you talking about?” you pressed trying to understand what on earth he was on about.

He finally raised his eyes to meet yours. Your chest tightened as you saw all the pain he held behind them.

“The higher ups didn’t want me to marry you. They had even planned for me to marry some zen’in girl. They told me that if I married you, they would kill you. At first I thought they were bluffing. They couldn’t possibly try to kill you under my watch, buta few weeks ago, while I was on a mission, they sent a curse-user after you. By the time I got back, It was almost too late. If I had gotten there even a second later I-I-” he choked up, stopping to take a deep breath before he continued.

“I knew that they wouldn’t give up until you were gone, so I went to try talk them out of it-”

“And that’s why you ditched me at the altar?”

“I s-swear I didn’t mean to! I went yesterday and they sealed me in some prison realm thing. I barely even managed to escape! By the time I did get out, got dressed and reached the venue-”

“I was already gone?” you whispered, looking up at him., suddenly feeling slightly shitty.

He nodded slowly before speaking up again “P-Please don’t blame yourself" he quickly said, before pulling you back into his arms,”Everything you said was true. I have been a horrible partner and I don’t deserve to have you as my fiancé, let alone my wife, but please don’t leave. I’m so so so sorry for ruining our special day but I mean It when I say I would rather cease living then have to spend the rest of my life without you by my side. Please, my love. Please”

You were at a loss for words at what had just transpired. Of Course you didn’t wanna leave him, you LOVE him. But at what cost?

Finally, can restt. Also, for anyone that previously asked to be on the taglist, I got mixed between you and the tags for Liar so if you still want to be on the taglist pls lmk.

© gojos-fr-bae

[14dayswithyou]

OMG I CAN FINALLY ASK YOU STUFF??! (REAL)

I have two questions

What will Ren do if angel wants to get hus name tattooed on themselves? I know he did his tats by himself SO WILL HE DO IT FOR THEM OR WILL HE HIDE HIS TATTOO ARTIST SKILLS?

aaandd...

How will Ren take care of an angel who is hella self destructive (e.g. doesn't eat, doesn't drink, sleep deprived, overworks themselves, etc)? Will he sorta be a caring bf or will he be too scared to ask them to do something?

I love ren and I love you for making this game saint 🙏🫡 all hail bald ren 🥚

✦゜ANSWERED: Wahhhh no, thank you for all of the amazing art you've made!! ;v;

"Y'sure? This is permanent, y'know." A mess of dark hair blocks out most of your view as your boyfriend gently runs a gloved thumb over your skin. "Or… Semi-permanent. D'ya feel like paying for a tattoo removal appointment?"

"I'm sure," Comes your curt response — alongside an affirmative nod and a gentle squeeze over his bicep, "I wouldn't ask you to do this if I wasn't."

"...You're really sure?" No longer hunched over, he looks up at you this time. Soft, blue eyes hold your gaze as he decides to pull another answer from you. "Positive?"

"Yes," His name slips off your tongue easily, and you fight the urge to roll your eyes. "I'm positive."

"Alright then."

Despite his calm demeanour, internally [REDACTED] was screaming and vibrating and bouncing around the walls of his brain. You wanted a tattoo of his name.

His name.

His real name.

Surely you must've known how much that gesture meant to him? I mean, sure, he was the one who impulsively tattooed your name on his throat and hip years ago, but it was merely to show just how dedicated he was to you and how far his feelings went. He was entirely yours — both physically and emotionally — and wanted everyone to know it.

Did that mean you felt the same way?

He figured you would've been sick of him by now after all these years, or at the very least... annoyed. Annoyed with him always asking you to eat something, even if it was a little bit. Constantly making sure you weren't overworking yourself, whether it was by sharing the workload or offering you a massage. Invariably dragging you to bed early with promises of endless cuddles, kisses, and warm blankets.

Despite all that, you still wanted him around?

Finally moving from his hunched-over position over your body, your dark-haired hacker looks up at you with the softest look in his eyes — almost as if you were the reason the moon rose in the sky every night. And as if he was the endless ocean, constantly gravitating towards you because it just felt right.

You held back the urge to move his bangs aside to get a better look at his face, and instead let the dark-haired man lean even closer into your personal space to place a chaste kiss upon your lips. Cherry and mint flood your senses as your boyfriend gently cups your jaw, and you can practically feel the adoration and appreciation radiate from the kiss he was giving you.

He doesn't seem to pull away from you for what feels like hours, but when he does, he doesn't stray far.

"What was that for?" You break the silence.

"…Felt like it."

Yet another curt response was given before he looks back to the patch of your skin he had prepared earlier. Giving you one last final glance, he picks up his tattoo gun with a determined glint in his eyes and starts to ink in the first letter of his name.

The name you came to love.

[enam3l]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYHUKpBj/

Three words: Dad! Eddie Munson

Ok well I'm obsessed? I was literally just gonna reply like I love this but no I got too carried away and produced one of the most random and bizarre fics I've ever done. I'm sleep deprived okay!

the munson sandwich (rockstar eddie x reader)

/ hella fluff / taglist and requests open

you can see all rockstar eddie x reader stories and lore at #enam3ls rockstar eddie or the masterlist! and check out my new series love, lola

Should kids sleep in their parents bed? It was always going to be a bone of contention. Eddie was to the core, a clinger, he wanted to be in physical contact with you constantly. So you knew from the get go it would be no better (if not worse) with your children. After reading all the parenting books your brain could handle before imploding, you decided you didn't have a strong opinion either way on whether kids slept with you or not. 

However, once you had Sloane, both of you were so besotted, it wasn't even a question. As if meant to be, she fitted perfectly between you and Eddie in bed. Every night you would all get cosy and form the Sloane Sandwich. A perfect recipe with a slice of mom and dad and in between was the filling of Sloaney Bologna (a nickname coined by Eddie that neither you or your daughter were too thrilled about). Both of you were infatuated with the perfect little cherub you made together and just wanted to be near her always. Sloane could happily snuggle against her dad with you being big spoon and still able to keep your arm over her and Eddie's torso. It was ideal. 

Then Iris came along aka Eddie's clone and shadow. Naturally, she inherited her dad's clinginess as well as everything else. Unlike Sloane, who just slept happily in the middle enjoying both parents. Iris insisted on clinging to Eddie like a tiny curly headed spider monkey. Now it was a slice of you, Sloaney Bologna and then Iris insisted on being so close to Eddie, she was more like a condiment smeared on top of him rather than an extra filling. For the first time in your relationship, your sleeping position of having your arm draped around Eddie's stomach was no longer possible. Instead he just had a little Iris laying right on top, a mini Munson stack. But, you couldn't be angry, not when they looked so cute. Little duplicates of each other who'd become inseparable. 

It worked out that you had two years between each daughter. So by time you were pregnant with Maeve, the bed was full with four year old Sloane and two year old Iris, plus you and Eddie. Realising there's quite a difference between that and just a baby and a two year old in the bed. Iris was now less of a little mini Munson stack on top of Eddie but rather a lump. All of that mixed with your baby bump, meant it was time to have the talk with Eddie. 

'Baby, we can't all fit in the same bed anymore,' you broke it to him. 

He gasped like you had suggested something outrageously cruel, as if you now wanted your kids to sleep in cages. 

'But we're a Munson sandwich?!' He huffed. 

'Well, you've overfilled the sandwich,' you raised a finger at him, stopping him from sniggering at the innuendo. 'I am the top piece of bread that can no longer balance on top! Between you, your clinger, Sloaney and now the bump, your beloved wife and carrier of your children is practically falling out of bed.'

Over the years, you had learnt using carrying his children was a sure fire way to win with Eddie. He groaned like a teenager, knowing you'd used the secret weapon. 

'Fiiiine. We'll get a bigger mattress, sweetheart!'

Your jaw dropped. 

'Eddie! That is not what I was suggesting!'

He held his hand up in protest. 

'Well, sweets, you should've known better than to have ever let me have my way and have the girls in the bed. We're a bed sharing family now. Deal with it. We shall be getting a bigger mattress!'

By the end of the week you were the proud owner of a mattress that seemed to be the size of every other one you've owned, stitched together. Yet, Eddie would soon learn it would not be enough. Nothing was a match for the terror of Maeve Munson. 

'I don't know how, but I know you've taught her to do this,' he accused, outraged that a baby kicked him so hard he had a black eye. 

After you dealt with Iris clinging to your husband for the last two years, he was now getting a taste of his own medicine. Although, Maeve was far more ruthless than her sister, even as a newborn. 

'You were in her way,' you smirked, 'she thought you were trying to steal her Mommy.' 

'You were mine first,' Eddie grumbled from the other side of the bed, sore eye and all. 

Now Sloane was six, she wasn't a permanent feature in the bed but her absence did not create more space. Maeve simply turned it into a buffering zone. If her dad were to encroach on the space, little limbs would kick ferociously to keep him at bay. 

One night you had even been awoken by a wail from Eddie. 

'AHhh you better be sure that you didn't want anymore kids, Y/N because Cerberus Munson has just crushed all hope of it!!'

To go with his now sore balls, he got a hard shove from yourself. 

'Cerberus Munson? Absolutely not. That nickname is vetoed. Far worse than Sloaney Bologna. If Maeve is Cerberus, that means I'm hell!!'

He knew he'd stitched himself up with that one so sulked in silence the rest of the night; bringing you your favourite breakfast in the morning. 

As you sat on your bed, eating your apology breakfast, alongside a black eyed and tender balled, Eddie, you strategised. Despite how funny it was, there was no denying your precious, protective Maeve was a health hazard. It would be a real shame to injure him further considering you'd married a man with such a pretty face and balls. So, a new arrangement was made. No longer were you and Eddie the slices of bread in the Munson Sandwich. It now went a slice of Iris, a filling of dad, a filling of mom and then a slice of Maeve. It meant for the first time in four years, you and Eddie could actually fall asleep on each other like you had your whole relationship. Then, on the occasion Sloane joined, she could slip perfectly in between you just as she had when she first arrived. 

Even as your children grew older, the Munson Sandwich was still beloved. On sad days or chilly nights, the Sandwich would reassemble. It didn't matter if they were adults with their own children, Eddie and you were going to cuddle your girls like they were still your little babies. 

---

my taglist angels: @whoahoney@lukewearingbeanies @esme-viridian @elysian-chaos @munsonology@mseddiemunson @kreepja @midnightsgetawaycar @therosietoesy @littlepotatobeansworld

@josephquinncore

[oddballwriter]

Good Smells

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Summary: A nice little blurb involving Marc enjoying certain smells because they remind him of you.  

Warnings: There's reference to Marc's past and childhood but it's not entirely front and center. This is still hella fluffy. 

Author’s Snip: The reader's gender is never specified but they do have traditionally feminine smells like flowers.

Notes: Something for Marc, my little stress ball of a man. <3 

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

"Did you know that out of all of the senses in the human body, smell is most effective in sparking a memory?" Steven mentions as you two walk through the candle aisle of the home decor store.

You don't actually need candles, you came here to get a new desk chair after the previous one was no longer functional or comfortable. But you had a pretty good coupon for the candles here that was going to expire soon. So that's how this topic emerged in Steven's head.

"Does it now?" you reply, "Where'd you learn that." you ask. "Was watching some psychology show while waiting for what I usually watch on that channel we always have on." he answers. "I forget the exact details but apparently when it comes to smells, the neurons in the brain just connect the smell that the nose is picking up with the memory." Steven explains. You hum in response.

"Do you have any smells that make you remember something?" you ask as a means to keep conversation. Steven thinks for a moment before answering, "Whenever I smell that plain room smell, the one's you usually smell in a waiting room or something," he says, "It actually reminds me of storage back at the museum because it had that same smell." Steven correlates. You nod along.

Steven tries to think more on if there are other smells that make him think of something and you sort of wait, but he draws blanks. "I can't think of anything else. I'm sure there's more smells that work for me but right now I'm just getting Marc's." he muttered, sounding more like he was thinking out loud.

"Marc has smells that make him think of things?" you ask. "Yeah, but that's not really something for me to talk about." Steven remarks before continuing to walk along the rest of the aisle. "How about you, love? What are some that you have?" Steven asks, slightly changing the subject to go another direction.

That was a good move of Steven in Marc's opinion. He knows you meant well by asking about the smells that he has connected to memories. It's just that none of his smells are good smells.

No, not like they are things that smell bad. It's that the smells remind him of things that are bad and not so pleasant.

The damp smell of the tunnel.

The smell of the common flowers braided into a grave reef.

Marc had no good smells.

They never really caused the whole immediate remembering thing to be honest. That only happens when he actually lets his mind make the connection. So even then, he had nothing that made him think of anything.

That was until Marc, and the rest of the boys by default, started having certain smells that would just have a memory come up.

And it was all because of you.

You had this hand lotion from some store that smelt like apples. He can smell it on you whenever you cup their face. Sometimes the smell gets on him if he holds your hand long enough or you touch a part of his clothes before it fully settles into the skin of your hands, leaving a small spot with the faintest smell of it. Now whenever he smells anything apple related he just sees your image form in his mind. He literally ate a bear claw donut on a mission once because he missed you and the smell of the apples inside of the pastry made him think of you.

How about that gentle flowery smell that's in your shampoo?

No, it wasn't that artificial smell like the reef. Your shampoo actually smelt like wild and authentic flowers. Like if you stood still long enough a butterfly would mistake the smell of your hair for a patch of flowers. Which is why he buys you flowers from the farmers market. Sure, they're better looking and selling than the artificial ones, but also because he know's you'll put them in a vase somewhere in the flat and when you're away he'll have that same lovely flower smell.

If you were to ask if he had any smells that sparked any memories now, he would have an actual answer. A good answer.

Good smells.

[i05wook]

You know how people tend to subconsciously copy the person they like the more they hang out with them? Imagine Gyubin with a reader who's not usually into physical touch being hella clingy to him (because you missed him or got jealous or summ). Gyubin who usually initiates those kinds of things first would be pleasantly surprised but still defo tease you 10000%

NOW LOADING...DATING KIM GYUVIN

pairing: gyuvin x gn! reader

genre: fluff, high school au

summary: a drabble where gyuvin falls hard but reader falls harder...

wc: 449 words

author’s notes: i'm so sorry it took so long for me to write this!! i kinda went on a sudden hiatus for a while and have only just come back to tumblr really since. I hope that you enjoy this work though!!

DOWNLOADING...

Winter break was finally coming to an end, which meant you would be reunited with your tender and sweet boyfriend Gyuvin. The both of you hadn’t seen each other since the end of college semester, a couple of weeks ago, as both of you decided to head home for the winter break to spend time with your respective families. Unfortunately, both of your schedules were really busy during the break, and never seemed to align, meaning you were both starved of affection.  At the beginning of your relationship with the giant puppy-like man, you more often than not avoided his sometimes overwhelming moments of affection. However now, no matter how much you tried to tell yourself that you dislike his affection, you can't help but realise how much you missed it when he wasn't around.  When the first day of spring semester finally came around, you were practically running out your house with excitement to see your boyfriend. You both had agreed to meet at the local café after you finished your classes that day. Gyuvin was lucky, he didn't have any classes that day but he still longed to see you after a three week long separation. In all honesty, your classes couldn't have dragged any longer than they did, but before you knew it, your professor took their leave, signalling your class was finally over. You've never ran out of the classroom so quick in your life, at this point desperate to see your loving boyfriend. Luckily for you, the café was only down the road from where your last class of the day was, and Gyuvin had already messaged you to tell you he was already there, and more specifically whereabouts in the café he was sat. He had managed to snag the quaint corner sofa in the back corner of the café which was almost always quiet whenever you guys went. Upon entering the café, you didn't even bother to order your usual drink, instead you headed over to the corner where your boyfriend had been waiting patiently for you. Upon seeing his slightly disheveled mop of chestnut hair peeking over the back of the couch where he sat, back towards the door you just entered, you scurried over to where he was, arms wrapping around his neck from behind, almost choking the poor man. At first he jumped in surprise at your ambush attack on his poor unsuspecting soul but almost immediately, when he realised it was you, he shot up from his seat, and wrapped his arms tightly around your waist. His head burrowed into the crook of your neck, inhaling signature perfume which always brought him comfort on his most stressful days.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

INBOX : OPEN

TAGLIST: OPEN

[bluejay-in-write]

"You Said You'd Grow Old With Me"

Stand-alone snippet (776 words)

Inspired by the song it was titled after "You Said You'd Grow Old With Me" by Michael Schulte. It is one of many of my snippets that I wrote during the past two months that was given life from a song and I've found that not only have song prompts really challenged me to write outside my comfort zone but also they're hella fun to do. This one in particular also came to life with the help of my writing dice gifted to me by the wonderful @sunlitscribe hope you guys enjoy!

~💙~

I thought you’d stay with me forever. I thought you’d love me forever as I was without ever asking for more. It was comfortable with no need to change, no need to be anything other than me. Maybe that was my own arrogance.

It’s funny how it wasn’t even you who ended things.

You were eager to keep me in your life smiling widely as you introduced me to your new boyfriend. You had been single for so long, in love with me even longer, even though both of us knew I would never—could never—return your feelings. 

I thought your love and attention was all I needed until I was forced to share it with someone else. 

The funny thing is when I look back on it I knew that he was perfect for you, as much as I loathed to admit it to myself at the time. He could give you the love and affection and effort that I never could—no that I didn’t want to. It was easier that way, you loving me and me letting you.

But then you found someone who would love you back the way you deserved and I felt left in the cold. It’s almost ironic. The fact that even you finding someone else couldn't awaken any unrealized feelings in me. It would’ve been easier if I had suddenly realized I was in love with you and was just jealous that you had found someone else.

If that was it, it wouldn’t have taken much for me to burst in like they do at the end of those romance movies you loved to watch and I tolerated, and profess my undying love for you. Then you would realize that you never stopped loving me and that we were meant to be all along.

But life isn’t as simple as a silly little rom-com. Stupid isn't it, how it took until then for me to finally figure that out.

Instead I distanced myself, slowly making excuses here and there as to why I was busy and couldn’t go out, responding to calls less and less until you stopped calling entirely.

I thought it would make me feel better, removing that burden of your unrequited love, you finding someone else to give it to so I could stop feeling so guilty every time you looked at me with that wistfulness in your eyes, that made them look slightly larger than usual.

I would say you finally realized that I wasn’t worth it in the end if I didn’t know so clearly that I was the one that drove you away. We both know I’m not one to pretend for the sake of someone else's feelings, not even my own.

So, I won’t act like it’s not my fault that I’m currently sitting not so subtly at the bus stop near your house at exactly 3:15 right when you always get home with him. And I won’t act like I don't know that if I had done anything different I would be right there with you getting out of the back of that four door minivan that you eventually realized you needed to buy.

But funny how knowing something will happen doesn’t change the impact of it. I mean it’s not like watching someone stab you in the heart does anything about your body’s reaction as it sets off warning signals in your head in the form of pain, screaming at you that you’re about to die.

Still, knowing this I wasn’t prepared for the cold chill that ran down my spine when the back door on the right opened slowly, revealing her, visually a perfect blend of the two of you. She wiggled out of her seat and bounced in front of the opening, eager to turn the bounce into a leap that made me want to catch her in the air in case she fell.

The chill then penetrated down to my bones and for a moment I wondered if this was what death felt like, if I had become a ghost without realizing it. 

But when you rushed to her side of the car—inherently knowing she was planning to jump—and your body stiffened as you helped her down from the vehicle, it was as if that same something knew to look up. 

And as we locked eyes for the first time in more years than I cared to recall, I knew I couldn’t be a ghost. Caught in your gaze, with the warmth of your attention on me once again driving the cold away, I finally realized what it truly meant to feel alive.

Somehow that felt worse.

[fandomizer]

I'm OK

Avengers x teen! reader

Captain America x adopted! Daughter! Reader

Tony Stark x teen! Reader

Male oc! x teen! Reader

TW: Death, Blood, Killing, Neglection, Swear words, Drug use, Underage drinking, Not proof read, A bit of insult? And someone making fun of anorexia?

╔═══════════════════╗

                  𝖓𝖔𝖜 𝖕𝖑𝖆𝖞𝖎𝖓𝖌: Broken

                          [Cross-Drug pt:2]      

                 00:55 ——◦———— 03:33

                            ↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

                ↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ

╚═══════════════════╝

"... Aaand this is your room. You like it?" the woman with pink flowers on her blue dress asked to the teen girl who was dressed in all black. When the woman saw the misarable look in her face she continued "The dinner will be served in an hour, so why don't you unpack your things?"

"Whatever." [Y/N] murmured after looking around one last time.

"If you need anything I'll be downstairs." without saying anything she went to her new bed which had purple blankets on and put her brown holdall on it. Then she turned around to see if that woman was still with her and to her liking, she wasn't.

[Y/N] was laying on her side when she heard someone knocking on the door right before that someone came in her room uninvited. "Ms. Eloise asked me to say the dinner is ready." a girl a lot younger than [Y/N] said with a cheerful voice.

"I'm not hungry."

"I don't think she will buy that." she said giggling. "My name is Daisy, by the way." when the older girl didn't respond, the little one's smile dropped. [Y/N], who had seen this said. "[Y/N]."

"Nooow, you are coming with me!" Daisy's excited shout made [Y/N] look at her with wide eyes. "Come ooon!" Daisy whined after trying and failing miserably at draging her out of the bed.

"Umm, no." [Y/N]'s voice came out more stark than she meant it to, but this would work too. "And please, just leave me alone." and with that Daisy was no longer seeing her face.

Did only [Y/N] straighten up when she heard the door close. [Y/N] could hear Ms. Eloise's voice. She was climbing the stairs.

Are you scared of what's to come?

"[Y/N]." Speaking of the devil.

"Yes, Ms. Eloise." annoyed [Y/N] said.

Ms. Eloise stood at the door with her back against the doorframe. "Why don't you come down to eat with us?"

"Like I've said to your little minion before I'm not hungry."

"Firstly you can't be mean like that just because you're sad. And secondly if you really aren't hungry you don't have to eat. But here we have some rules and one of them is to attend the dinner table for all meals."

"What if we're sick?" [Y/N] asked sassily. "'Cause if it's all it takes I don't feel so good."

"Everyone's sick here [Y/N], that's why we have this rule." Ms. Eloise said copying her sassy tone. "Now, get up."

If you leave then who will the next one be?

[Y/N] was an observer as the thing she did had required it. There were eight people at the table with her. "Another anorexic, huh?" a black long wavy haired girl said.

[Y/N] cut in as Ms. Eloise was about to say something. "Wow, that was a low blow even for– Sorry what was your name again? Oh, wait you didn't say it as you were too busy assuming things."

"So you've got anger issues too. Ohh~ What a combo."

"Sandra that's enough!" the boy who was sitting next to the guesser told sharply. His black hair was covering his eyes, especially his left eye, but not enough for [Y/N] to not see what color they were. His eyes were a pretty shade of brown, not too light nor too dark. A perfect tone that fit his looks well.

"Please let Sandra finish."

"You think you are cool?" a smirked formed on [Y/N]'s lips to that.

"I hella am."

"You little–"

"Kids that's enough!" Ms. Eloise's shout made everyone shut up and look at their plates. Everyone except for the boy whose eyes drifted to [Y/N] from time to time.

Will he do the same or will he let you see?

"Lights out in five!" again, Ms. Eloise's voice reached to every corner of the building. [Y/N] got changed into her brown pj's with bunny ears on the hood of it. She looked at her reflection which no longer looked like her with black circles under her [E/C] eyes. She took the part of the blanket in her right hand and began to pull at it till it was enough for her to slip under it. She laid her eyes on the white ceiling.

It was comforting. The blankets, the bed, the darkness and the silence. Then the calming moment was ruined by four knocks on the door. "I jinxed it as always." she mumbled to herself then added "Come in." it was much louder than her mumble for obvious reasons.

"Hewwo! I just wanted say good night! Sooooo, good night [Y/N]!" Daisy came and go within seconds. [Y/N] for a second thought that the little girl sounded so cute saying 'Hewwo!' reminding her her old self. Those innocent, pure and easy times. Shaking her head, she returned to her staring competition with the ceiling.

"Twank you so much for choosing me. I won't let you down, sir captain." a little girl with [H/C] hair said, sounding so polite whilst doing so.

"Yeah sure, uhh it's nothing kid." his voice came out so stern which made the little one a bit scared.

...

"This is her?"

"Yes." [Y/N] was standing there looking around with her big curious [E/C] eyes.

...

"Dusk, come with us."

"Dusk?" [Y/N]'s little voice was so pure and full with curiosity as she asked so. The red head could feel the emotional weight taking it's place in her. Guilt. That's what she felt. Guilt.

...

"Dusk, we need you to hack them. Can you do that?" the bow man said after he put a file of people who they needed hacked in front of [Y/N], who was twelve years old.

"Sure can do."

...

"I don't think I'm suitable for field missions tho'" [Y/N] who was going to be sixteen years old in a week.

"I don't remember asking your opinion!"

"I'm just saying that my powers have no use in battle field. In the end I can only control technology." she was getting more annoyed with the Avengers every passing day.

"Why can't you just do as you are told?!" with that her adoptive father got out of the room.

You don't have to hurt, you don't have to hurt anymore

From there it was just bits and pieces. First smithereens of glass were flying to [Y/N].

Then a man with a gas mask approached her.

A rope. A gun.

With a little time, take a look and find what you're searching for

A knife with a bloody edge

Hands covered in red

Doesn't feel okay

Feeling like everything is fake

No one is around

So the drugs are the only way.

Drugs are the on–

With a loud shaky breath [Y/N]'s eyes snapped open. She put her hand on her so fast pounding heart. She looked around in paranoia checking every corner of the room, after the sixth time did she then stopped looking and closed her eyes to try and take control of herself.

She got out of the bed then her room and made a beeline to kitchen to get a cup of water. She was about to get back upstairs when she heard singing coming from the porch.

"You are broken on the floor

And you're crying, crying"

She slowly made her way to living room's window, peeking from the window to see who this mysterious singer was. She was shocked to say any least when she saw the boy with pretty eyes.

"He has done this all before

But you're lying, lying"

She went to door and froze in place, left hand holding onto the door knob when heard the next lines.

"To yourself, that he'll find help

That he will change to someone else"

These lyrics sounded familiar. Too familiar for her liking. Without her knowledge she had opened the door as quite and slow as a turtle would.

"Standing by the door

Looking fasci-fascinated

Didn't meet before

Nice to, nice to see 'ya

Maybe you

Should come out off the dark

Wondering if I'm OK

Changing the lyrics for myself

And watching me for more

Waiting for more"

"You can come here, you know?" the boy's voice was as pretty as his eyes if not better. [Y/N] didn't expect to get caught this early but not everything could go as she wanted. "Hi." the boy added after she moved out of the darkness of the house.

"Hi." [Y/N] said shyly and to that a smile formed on the boy's face.

"Why are you up this early?" the boy asked teasingly.

"Could ask the same." [Y/N] answered without losing a beat.

"Touché." his sweet smile turned into a bigger one as he stood up from his sitting-point. "Name's Ean." stretching out his hand for a shake said 'Ean'.

"[Y/N]." she returned his handshake having no idea what this was the start of.

But you're broken on the floor

Still asking him for more

╔═══════════════════╗

I hope you liked it.

I know this part didn't have avengers in it but this had to be done if I am gonna write a part 3.

Sooooo, Pt3?

Oh, and sorry 'Cuz I don't know how this note things work.

╚═══════════════════╝

Previous part. Next part.

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Taglist:

@manyfandomsfanvergent

[brighterdaysarebeforeus]

She’s hella late, I’m sorry!! I’m really not good with fight scenes. The final part of earth-42!! (^.^) took me a minute to get here, but I think I figured it out!!

@hobiesgender @hadesdaughter2002 @lirulua

Masterlist

It took several days of waiting around doing nothing before anything of any interest started happening.

Several days of plotting and planning. Prowler kept leaving, going back home so his uncle and his mamí wouldn’t worry about where he was. Either that or going to Kingpin to avoid his suspicion, where he would come back with reports that the man was growing more and more irritated the longer Wesley was missing.

Several days of Wesley trying to ask them things nobody was willing to answer. He’d tried different tactics with all of them; Margo reported getting asked about the technology keeping him contained, Hobie adding that he’d questioned the extremely different-looking yet strikingly similar watches on all of their wrists. He apparently didn’t know what to do with Ham, mostly asking questions about the fact that he was obviously a pig, which Ham played off of as normal and not an unusual thing in Earth-42 at all. He’d apparently given up on Noir completely, the two of them just having staring contests the entire time Noir was with him.

Peter didn’t really have a chance to be with him for too long, Mayday taking up most of his time when he had her, and taking her back to his own universe whenever he had a chance so that Mary Jane could be with her. And Margo, for all she was with them via avatar, also had an avatar still in the Spider Society; nobody seemed to suspect that she was helping them all stay off the Society’s radar as best as she could. Miguel, she reported, was so focused on finding Miles that he was unaware of the way the Society was running, which was apparently straight into the ground, in a sense. While not every Spider-Man was technically looking for Miles, they also weren’t technically not looking for Miles either.

Honestly, Miles had it on the back burner in his mind as of now; Gwen and he were still awkward with each other, despite both of their attempts to get back to normal, Peter B kept trying to talk to Miles or get him to hold Mayday when he could, which Miles avoided by always hanging around Pavitr and Hobie when he could.

And, of course, Miles-42.

“Listen up!” He snapped as he came into the dorm room, which was looking a little more and more like it was lived in than it had been when Miles first appeared in it. There was something more excitable about him than normal, sitting in the middle of the room without waiting for everyone to crowd around him. “It’s time. Kingpin’s pissed, he can’t find Wesley for shit, and now even Vanessa can’t calm him down.”

“So we strike.” Noir added, crouching down behind him. “What’s the plan?”

“Plan’s simple.” Miles-42 said, laying out schematics for a different building. “Plan is — ”

“Remarkably similar to our other plan.” Hobie whispered to Miles as they stuck to the outside of the wall. Miles could see Gwen and Peter B with Noir across the way, Prowler outside this time with them on a different side of the building. It was a bit bigger than the one before, though it just had the one guy puttering around in it, and there didn’t seem to be anyone else in the building. “Feel like I might know that guy. If there’s a version of Mattie, I might definitely know him.”

“He’s not just one of Kingpin’s workers?” Miles whispered back, and Hobie shrugged with a slight wince. His shoulder was still acting up, because superhuman healing still meant that Hobie had to heal, and Miles had been against him coming based on the sole fact that he was still recovering from being injured; in the end, he’d been overruled by Hobie himself, who’d bared his teeth and gotten defensive over his ability to decide on his own. Miles had backed off, but things had been tense between them for a bit.

It’s why Noir was with Gwen and Peter B instead of them; he had taken one look and them and muttered something about not getting between a lover’s spat. Hobie glowered at him a bit for that, yanking his mask on and muttering that he though Noir was supposed to be the cool one while emitting a sour scent. Miles felt his face heating up at the implication, and had spent the time trying to appease Hobie while at the same time keep his distance.

He wasn’t sure how well it was working; Hobie stopped the sour scent, but the comment was the first he’d spoken since they’d split groups. Miles knew that something was still missing though, and though he sort of didn’t want to do it, his mamí wasn’t raising a rude alpha.

“Hey, Hobie?” The other teen grunted at him, and Miles took a deep breath to steel his nerves. “I-I just wanted to say I was sorry.” There was a tense silence, and then Hobie turned slightly towards Miles. Just enough that Miles could see the white on his mask that covered his eyes.

“Sorry for…what, exactly?” He asked flatly, not really giving Miles a proper in but at least letting him say his piece.

“For saying you should stay behind with Mayday and Wesley instead of Ham.” Miles licked his lips and sighed. “I…I didn’t mean to, to imply that you couldn’t decide for yourself, or say that you should just, like, take care of people — ”

“But that’s what I should do?” Hobie cut across, turning fully now to stare at Miles. His eyes were narrowed, his tone pointed. He didn’t sound super combative, but guarded — like this was a familiar argument. “Because even if I’m Spider-Man, I’m still an omega. So I should stay back and take care of the kid. Right?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Miles yelped, nearly falling off the side of the building with how hard he jerked back. Feeling his face heat up for a second time that night, Miles scrambled to get himself upright. “No, nope, nu-huh, nah, that’s not what I meant!” Hobie stared at him impassively, and Miles imagined the way his eyebrow would be raised at his display of panic. “No, man, not even close, just…you. You got hurt. Your shoulder — ” his fingers brushed against the shoulder in question, “ — I got really…I was just concerned about your shoulder. I don’t want anything to happen that might make it worse. You’re an amazing Spider-Man,

“Hmm.”

“Hmm?” Miles repeated hopefully. He leaned forward a bit, and Hobie pushed his face back. There was an undercurrent of amusement to the action, though, and Miles found himself relaxing despite the situation they currently found themselves in.

“Yeah, yeah, mate, you’re forgiven.” Hobie said, body posture relaxing as Miles cheered quietly. Prowler lifted his head from across the rooftop and Miles could practically feel the glare he was giving the split second before he gave the signal.

[eomerofrohan]

I wanted to say this last year when I was all up in my Pride feels, but I didn’t because I wasn’t as secure in it yet, and I was afraid of what other people would say… but now it’s been a whole year and I really need to say it

Eowyn is a gender mood for me, a nonbinary woman

My relationship to gender has varied a lot over the years. 7 years ago I came out as genderfluid, and since then kind of settled into using the term nonbinary, but there was something about that which didn’t really fit me very well. When I was a little kid, I made myself conform to standards of femininity because that’s what I thought I had to do. When I started identifying as just nonbinary, I meant it as a liberation, but I had people trying to define me just as much as they did when I was a woman. I am just now sorting out myself, disentangling the truth of who I am from the knot of other people’s expectations. And it’s confusing to other people, but I no longer care.

Eowyn is, canonically, a gender nonconforming woman. This doesn’t mean she’s meant to be nonbinary or trans in the text, but it does mean that nonbinary and trans people are going to hella identify with her and her struggle with gender. She feels constrained because of expectations society placed on her. So do we. She feels she has to disguise herself as someone else in order to achieve her goals. So do we. She ultimately ditches the disguise and finds happiness with someone who respects her for who she is and doesn’t try to change her. That’s something a lot of us are fighting tooth and nail for.

So yeah, long story short, I see echoes of my own struggle in Eowyn, and even though she’s a woman and my own relationship to femininity is weird, I feel I can identify with her. All power to everyone else who feels the same.

And happy Pride.

[1indigoisles]

Chapter 1 - Excerpt 5

It was that girl, the girl I’d seen a few days ago, with the black-and-blue eyes. My neighbour, I thought. Strange to see her here.

It wasn’t as though I was particularly surprised to have spotted her; Knightville High was the only high school in this town.

I just hadn’t expected to see her again so soon.

Even as I asked her the question, I could see Jolene’s expression change ever so slightly when she found who I was referring to, into something that was hard to coin. It was the kind of expression someone would put on to hide what they were truly feeling.

“Scarlett Raynott, I think that’s her name,” Jolene said, her voice a little away from her person. She turned to me. ”Why do you want to know?”

“I saw her a couple days ago,” I said, still looking at Scarlett as she disappeared around the corner. “She lives in the house opposite to mine, at the edge of town.”

“You actually live in that rickety old house?” Jolene asked incredulously, though with the thin air of someone trying to change the subject.

“It’s not that old,” I said, frowning a little.

“It’s not the fact that it’s old,” perked up Rowan faintly, who, up until then, had been silently daydreaming, “which it isn’t, really, compared to other houses, it’s just the way it looks old. And not very pleasant. We all call it Bleak House – not a very creative name, sure, but it stuck.”

“And now people actually live in Bleak House,” Jolene mused.

“I think that’s an overstatement,” I said. “It’s not that bleak.”

“Some people died in there, didn’t they?” Rowan asked Jolene.

“What?” My head snapped up.

“Fourteen people, I think, back in ‘95,” Jolene said.

“Fourteen people?” I echoed, horrified.

“All murdered, weren’t they?” Rowan went on, unfazed.

“Police never found out who it was,” Jolene confirmed, shaking her head mournfully.

“Wow, you guys talk about murder with such ease,” I said.

Jolene grinned. “I would be more worried about living in a haunted house, really.”

“My house is not haunted,” I said, trying for a withering look but grinning instead.

“They say that there are fourteen small dots on the floor, the places where those fourteen people had stood when they were killed,” mused Rowan. “They were drawn on by the murderer.”

I shuddered minutely. “They never found him or her?”

“No, and that’s what’s really troubling.” Rowan stopped short, as though that last part was something he hadn’t meant to say.

Jolene, on the other hand, was now staring at the space where Scarlett had last been, before vanishing from view, and I felt I had to ask, “do you know her?”

Jolene’s eyes flashed in understanding. She smiled softly, like she held a secret, close enough to her that nno one else could see it, hard as they tried, and answered, “nobody knows her.”

And it was precisely then that the bell rang.

So sorry, I know it's short, but it just came to me and I knew that this was how this particular excerpt would end. I promise the next one's longer!

Tagged List: @jeahreading, @mayaheronthorn, @fantasyquinn, @damn-this-transgirl-hella-gay. Salute to my only readers!

[vwbugggie]

Some MCU DR Tea Pt. 1

Hey y'all!!!!

Ok y'all so I watched Shay's (shifttoker) live last night and she was talking about the shufflemancy she got for her tasm (the amazing spider man) DR and it seemed really fun so I decided to give it a go! and the tea I got??????? (For context, I don't really have a lot scripted for this DR and it doesn't really follow the MCU's plot especially after Age of Ultron. Also, I didn't have a ton of questions so it's not very many songs)

If you don't believe in shufflemancy: Cool. I don't give a shit. Goodbye.

So the first thing I asked: Give me a song that describes me and Dean first meeting in this D.R.

(This I do have semi-scripted, I know we meet when Pietro, Wanda, Abbi, and I are still anti- avengers and we're getting the vibranium from Klaue. The vibe I had was that it was gonna be flirty but we're literally gonna be fighting each other so a semi- serious meeting)

I got: Summer Feelings by Lennon Stella ft. Charlie Puth

I'm not gonna lie to you at first I was HELLA confused. I thought this song is waaayyy too light hearted but then I looked at the lyrics and she's right

"And I'm trying to keep it cool"- Describes how I'm gonna feel at first. Not only am I gonna be nervous cuz this is the first fight I'm gonna experience but also seeing Dean for the first time I know I'm gonna be NERVOUS. He's just too gorgeous.

"And I found a piece of me that I never knew" -This part comes on right before Charlie's part so to me this part represents the exact moment after I first see him. I instantly knew that I was never gonna be the same (I always knew that fucker was gonna ruin my life in every reality makes sense cuz he's ruined it here lol ((affectionate)))

"You got my heart and I'm head over heels in love" -Charlie sings this part so I took that as it's from Dean's perspective, self explanatory.

"Oh, now what you do? Your brown eyes tell the truth" - In Charlie's part of the song. This to me meant that Dean could tell I wasn't really team Ultron (Which is true I never trusted the fucker, I was just going along with my siblings. And he did free me from Hydra so I guess I gotta go along.) His "See I happen to be able to read people" moment lmao. Extra confirmation cuz my eyes are brown (now that's delusion skskksks)

"Yeah, you got to me, and I came out someone new" -Also sung by Charlie so also from Dean's perspective. After we met he'll never be the same either.

"I'm trying to keep it cool" "And I, I found a piece of me that I never knew' -Still sung by Charlie so still Dean's perspective. Basically he's feeling everything about me that I'm feeling about him.

Bitch, it's love at first sight FOR REAL. (I didn't even script that arc but slaayyyy)

"I'm meltin' like ice cream The stress is gone for me Nowhere I'd rather be"- Sung by Lennon, so my perspective. Even though we're literally in a fight rn he makes it better and my ass is falling for him (I did script a flirty one on one fight with him) so after the one on one I'm no longer nervous, and all that's left is him.

"And I, I'm trying to keep it cool" "And I found a piece of me that I never knew" -Towards the end of this song, sung by both, so both our perspectives. Because it's at the end I felt like this was after we part ways. We're both trying to seem like it was no big deal, and that we're unaffected. But we both know that's bullshit.

In conclusion, this song has a you take away all the bad/ you're like paradise kinda vibe to it so even though we're initially on different teams we're still gonna fall for each other in spite of everything. (Romeo and Juliet who? LMAOOOO) Bonus confirmation this song was on the Scoob soundtrack and Dean loves himself some Scooby-Doo

This got SO much longer than I was anticipating so Ima end this here and do more later maybe

[cpunkwitch]

Back when we were in the er for 2 days (March?) the day shift nurse we first saw offered me a wheelchair, that man was a sweetheart, the nightshift nurse after him was too, she gave my mom and me both two toasty warm blankets while checking my vitals periodically

The wheelchair was not meant for my tiny ass

I felt like a pebble sitting on a hammock with wheels

It took way too much effort for me to wheel myself up and down the short hallway

And I was initially there because my body had shut down in what still is the worst episode we have ever had, by the time I left the hospital I was only moderately less immobile than when they gave me the wheelchair

Had my arms worked with me properly it probably still would have taken me considerable effort to use the wheelchair

Knowing the majority of my body's issues are with and caused by my lower half from the base of my spine down, a wheelchair of some kind would be out best option very soon

Especially with how more frequent it is that our knees/legs are refusing to support us.

Wheelchairs from the hospital kinda suck, hardly comfortable and did not like having to force my legs up so my mom could push me without dragging my feet on the floor (didn't really like that i had to have her push me around in order to use it either but that's what those ones are made for. You'd at least think they'd have a foot rest, the seat was hella low and I'm light as fuck)

We have thought about looking into walkers and got some suggestions but with how or physical condition is declining this way, it probably won't be worth it

Due to our situation however, we can't get a wheelchair. It's not safe, we'll be told not to use it and it might even get taken away or assistance to use it will be refused so we'll be forced to abandon it not to mention how poorly accessible our city is.

Not sure where I was going with this kinda just venting

In a lot of pain, tired but not enough to sleep, and kinda crashing/spiraling.

Worst part is the only thing that came out of that long ass visit was a "we don't know why this happened, we'll blame your bpd and give you meds we give people with depression."

The meds help manage our mood swings at best

But that's it

We still have episodes of intense pain, episodes of our body shutting down, both of which leave us immobile for a range of time

We still occasionally have episodes that feel seizure-like, though a bit less than we used to

Honestly? I'm scared

A big part of why we can't see ourselves living past our mid 20's is because of this, we already have Cotard's Syndrome but this is just

Getting so bad

And the parents won't acknowledge it for the danger it is, not that we could actually talk about it with them in a proper conversation where they listen.

We need to get out of here

But we have way too many doubts to believe anything will really get better for us, it's really hard to realistically see ourselves no longer living here

I think the walking cane is as far as we'll ever get to being able to use assistance even remotely freely besides compression gloves and medication

I'm at a loss

[dragondemoness]

How about Ibuki and Kaede dating a S/O who like Isabella and even have plant powers from Encanto and they even do the What else Can I do Song to encourage her to be herself

"What Else Can I Do" is definitely my favorite song from the movie, hands down

Ibuki and Kaede With an S/O Who's Like Isabela Madrigal (Encanto)

Ibuki Mioda

She thinks your plant powers are hella cool

Her room is full of bouquets that you've given her

Plus, she thinks you're really pretty, and she doesn't hesitate to tell you

She's kind of oblivious to the pressures you're under, given how well you hide it

She doesn't find out until you burst into her room in tears because you ruined an engagement dinner with a guy your grandma set you up with

She was really upset that your grandma set you up without your permission, and she wished that you had told you sooner

But she knew it was time to be serious and held you as you cried it out

After you were done, she encouraged you to do what makes you happy, even if it meant going against your grandma

She just wanted you to be yourself, to show all your imperfections to her

Cue the "What Else Can I Do" scene, and Ibuki followed behind you, encouraging you with a big smile

She was there during your argument with your grandma, and she stepped in and stood up for you

You don't deserve this shit, and you both know it

"With all due respect Miss Ma'am, (Name) doesn't wanna marry that guy! She just wants to date whoever she wants and be herself! She shouldn't have to be perfect for you, especially when you got a bazillion other kids!"

Naturally, your grandma didn't take that very well, and Ibuki had enough and just took you on a date to get your mind off things

When your grandma apologized and finally accepted you, Ibuki was so thrilled

Even more so that she was accepted as well!

Overall, Ibuki always thought that you were perfect, but you don't always have to be perfect

You can always be yourself with her, and she'll never judge you

Kaede Akamatsu

She was so captivated by you in the beginning

You were so beautiful, and your plants were mesmerizing

Her room and her lab both have all the bouquets you made for her

She's quicker to catch on about the pressures you're under than Ibuki is

She notices that you don't really enjoy being with your grandma, and she sees you hanging out with this random dude you never told her about

So she asks about it, and you end up spilling everything

She's really sad that your grandma is making decisions without your consent, and the image she makes you play

She offered to talk to her, but you declined

But on the night of the engagement dinner, everything went to hell

And you rushed over to her place in tears because you accidentally broke your arranged fiancé's nose

She held you close to her and encouraged you to be yourself

Even if you had to move in with her, she didn't want you in that situation any longer

As you finally expressed yourself to the world, she was surprised, but encouraged you all the while

When your grandma came over and started bitching, Kaede stood up for you immediately

She got surprisingly angry, and after it was over, she took your hand and got you out of there

She's a little wary of your grandma when she finally accepts you, but she's all for second chances

She's just glad that your grandma isn't pressuring you anymore

Overall, she also thought you were perfect since the beginning, but she loves you for your imperfections as well