#this blog wouldnt be around if it was for their kind souls

[solarstqrs]

᯾𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙔 𝙈𝙊𝙉𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍᯾

paring: t!f ceo yae x fem reader

cw: implied sexual work realations implied exploitation implied blackmail degrading mocking heavy teasing threats lingere semi public sex implied blow job spanking gagging blindfolds pure smut porn with some plot implied jealous sex implied creampies dumbofication implied freeuse implied edging

MINORS + AGELESS BLOGS DNI

Yae miko was…a powerful person dont get yourself wrong she was pretty and looked nice at those news outlets smiling gracefully acting like a sweet sweet angel yet you let her stuff your face with her giant dick as punishment as a news reporter trying to uncover her secrets by acting like her secretary. Your lucky your pretty otherwise she’d break you even more.

Atleast you could use your looks to please her. “Atta girl those investors could hear you…and you know what will happen if im upset whore.”

she smirked against your ear…she was so slow so so so slow you felt your walls collapsing and twitching around her unconsiously

Honestly you hated her. You hated the way she smiled and greeted you, Hated the FACT she will never stop with her irrataiting smile. She’s always lurking with her purple eyes always peering at you, smiling every single time and not even that! Her voice sugar coated with lies unfolding yet…You still wanted to lick the wrapper you still were addicted to her taste. Her efforts. Her addiction.

You’re uncanny, you hate her yet you cant stop running back fufilling your needs with her. Her sharp claw like nails wipe your lips; already bruised from her lipstick.

“I’ve got you all dirty…” she feins in fake sadness already…She’s speaking like she cares, Acting as if she was sweet as candy but she was conniving and scheming like a asshole. Already her newely (not really) founded smirk plastered her face again watching your pathetic form.

“fuck..off.” you replied expecting it to go unheard. Oh you poor soul her hand gripped your cheeks tightly

“pathetic cunt. You think ill be kind even if you sound like a ditzy slut right now?” Yae had this look it was terrifying and you even put on her favourite set of lingere. She still was never gonna be fair to you no matter how you tried to please her “Answer me do you want eevvveryone to know how much of a whore you are for me?” her voice was soft as silk but let out so many profanities.

all you did was nod she knew you couldnt say anything against her afterall she wasnt the one getting fucked against the table where buisness deals happened just then. Knock. Knock she smirks she knew her oppertunity was here

“better fucking answer.” she drew closer blowing at your ear

“y-yes who is this..?” you tried so hard you did but she didnt see it so she stopped doing everything letting a small whine erupt from you atleast not loud enough

“Hey? is this room free yet..?” a familar buisness investor replied the one who made eyes at you and shyly blushed at you everytime in every meeting

yae watched in annoyance this is what had her worked up aswell

“w-well not yeag” your voice now gagged from yae’s fingers making it more difficult to answer

“you…okay?” he spoke softly

“mhm nofing to worray abour” you answered muffly “buft eafing��

you heard a sigh before the man walked away before yae pulled her hard length out legs still shakey

“yae..?” you could only ask in some concern

“turn around.” is all she could answer before making you face her and picking you up and holding her in your arms

before fluidly shoving herself inside and fucking you quickly

“i bet he cant do this can he? i bet he cant make your holes fucking spasm like this.”

all you could do was convulse and cover your mouth legs shaking as tears threaten to fall

“i fucking bet he wouldnt even have the balls to go raw like me and leave a nice gift.” she stopped for a minute before taking off her tie and tying it around your eyes so you couldnt see

“i’d hate to see my good slut cry over that guy.”

she misinterperts your actions actually crying over how good she made you knocking the living fuck out of you

“fucking say it say im better.” only moans and stuttery whines left your throat as you held onto her desperatly

“such a good good fucking whore.” she kept speaking so softly aswell being so angry yet so calm biting down you ever so slightly she licked it always fox like her personality

“say it. say you need me.” she softly spoke her constant clingyness now rubbing ever so clearly

her dick started twitching god you didnt even realize how full you were only thinking it was from what you ate today she started pushing relentlessly before pulling out leaving you whining for release

“fucking paticence ill do it again.”

she turned you around, leg open fucking you again spanking you

“do you think you fucking deserve to cum after getting me worked up like this? Oh no, No you fucking dont.” she roughly spoke now pulling your arms up above your head

“i am not letting you finish at all tonight and if you do ill have my way with you till im bored got it?” she threanted to break your wrists by this point and all you could do was nod while moaning

“thats not a proper answer, well?”

“y-yes god fuck yes please m’sorry m’sorry yae” you repeated sobbing softly as she kissed your tears away

“good girl better listen” you already felt that knot exploding this did not help

the spanks didnt stop everytime you felt that knot grow and tighten up again you felt a slap on your arse as a small threat to listen all you could do was comply until you were allow you spill everthing on Yae’s dick

“thats my girl…atta girl your being so good for me you can finish pretty.” she finally let go of her anger finally your legs convulst and you got to finish finally

“good girl.”

[cannoliparty]

the bard of heart

reposted from my spacehey blog... i havent looked into bards much before but i tried my best ^_^;

the bard

bards are a passive class, meant to "invite the destruction of their aspect and/or invite destruction through their aspect". this destructive nature follows them around, and they dont have to do much for a lot of damage (related to their aspect) to be done. gamzee's relaxing, but kind of pitiful nature destroyed the rage in his friends because there wasnt really anything negative when dealing with him. because of this destructive nature, a bard's challenge is not to destroy themselves with their aspect, giving into their own destructive whims.

this parts important to the bard's character!: bards will often "play as" their inverse aspect in order to not give into their challenge (destroying their aspect within themselves). a good example is gamzee, bard of rage. he is introduced destroying his inner rage through slime pies, thinking "hopeful" things like miracles (hope is the inverse of rage). later on, he fails and gives into destroying through rage and killing his friends, inviting the rage of others and embracing an intense chaos of the bard class. in conclusion, bards will usually "act" as an inverse aspect until theyre pushed into a dire situation needing their own.

heart

the heart aspect is very personal. it affiliates with feelings, inner thoughts/opinions, and even goes so far to your very soul. heart players will naturally/usually feel things very deeply, whether they'd like to or not. depending on things like the heart player's class, lunar sway, or just outright their personality, they'll vary in the ways of how they deal with their feelings. for example, and heir of heart would be very in tune with their feelings, and sway easily along with them. a witch of heart, however, would defy their emotional tendencies and instead view them as a tool, or maybe in a negative light that cannot be trusted. but regardless, these two examples both use emotions to their own will when reaching the heart player's full potential.

the bard of heart!

now lets look at the whole classpect! a bard of heart would act as mind player, turning more to logic/rationality, the big picture, etc.. and not paying attention to their own thoughts & feelings on topics unless necessary, or until the feelings have been bottled up for too long and it comes out seemingly destructive through heart. with these personal opinions pushed down, the bard now has unbiased, mind-reminiscent thoughts that they share, and often avoiding emotional instances or personal moments. but because they are not naturally tied to mind, the bard might simply just try to get along and blend in with the crowd until its too much to handle and their emotions are revealed all at once as a (possibly destructive) mess of tears, laughter, whatever. this would be the crisis of the bard, giving into an inner tendency of destruction. their true feelings are revealed along with their own opinions, their own hates, loves, etc...

but if not giving into their crisis, a bard can use this act to their own will. giving out the cold facts of mind could inadvertently hurt the feelings of a bard's friends, but it can also be what's necessary: logic is needed in tough situations, when there's no room for things such as emotional bias. in turn, the bard of heart could influence others from a standpoint of mind.

but they are still tied to heart! a bard of heart needs to learn that their emotions are needed too, and can passively keep them along with their tendencies of mind.

in sburb itself is when a bard can be very interesting. they can passively crush their enemy's morale, or destroy their hate for the players, maybe completely obliterate their own souls. bards can also passively destroy negative emotions their allies feel, and are great at keeping their friends in a positive state. the thing is, they wouldnt have to do much to complete any of this!

conclusion

OMG.... this was actually sooo fun to write!! i havent done much research on bards before and they were previously confusing to me, but now i think theyre such a fun and cool class, dealing with their aspects in such a unique and provocative way! of course, comment any classpects you want me to write about, or your thoughts on bards/the heart aspect!! ^3^

[spoiledlemonsbiggestfan]

SORRY I DISAPPEARED

Hello there! It has been way too long since i updated you guys on how i've been doing, and i've probably only got myself to blame on this one. But i have FANtastic news to share! (get it? Cus i'm fan? Genious, i know.) I finally managed to get a job! And a decent one this time, no more cleaning mediocre school halls for me! (Horrayyy!)

So this entire hiatus hasnt been for nothing, i've been very hard at work finally being able to persue the thing i love the most, writting! Now i can officially call myself a journalist instead of an amature blogger. The self-improvement sure is real, love to see it. Sadly, I am constantly restricted from putting my heart and soul onto the paper in favor of transmitting what could be classified as useless information to whoever is bored enough to watch the news. And that constant restrain has made me miss the days of the good ol' Fan blog, so i guess you could say that's the reason i'm here. I've missed writting whatever i want to without the need to always double or triple check my work, its fun to not worry if every single word i type fits into my current streams of thought and stuff like that. But you don't wanna hear about all of that do you? You wanna hear about the funny stories! The authentic work experience i have gained! Atleast i hope so, because if not then youre probably in the wrong blog. But if that IS what you came here for, bluckle up bukaroo because im about to tell all about the working woes and friendly foes!

First off the job aplication process was VERY off-putting, my 2 future bosses took care of the interview and they asked... odd questions. They were also always a little too...rude. But thats ok! Nothing that i havent already handled. On the job i have met some interesting personalities such as suitcase! (I was given permission to state her name, duh) suitcase is very kind and funny, but she also has social anxiety, which is weird considering she is one of the few reporters we have, the type that usually goes out, interviews others and deals with harsh weather conditions for some reason. Suitcase is always busy going from one place to another so she can grab the needed fotage, and since im normally the one who writtes her scripts, i get to go with her sometimes! The news channel utilises this totally not ominous and cramped mini-van to cary all of the needed equipment and people. Surprisingly enough, my supervisor is the one who drives the van! She's quite chill, her voice is so smooth that i have to stop myself from yawning when i'm around her. Dont get on her bad side though, i once saw her almost yell at our make-up artist. Speaking of that, they both have some weird relationship going on, i genuinely have no idea if they are friends or enemies and at this point i am too scared to ask suitcase about it.

Working there is pretty chill, i tecnically dont need to phisically be there but hey, a bit more of social interaction wouldnt hurt. Besides, i wouldnt have met suitcase if i only sent my scripts via e-mail! So its a win-win! What else do i have to say abt work? Hmmm.... oh yea! I have a funny story to share!

On my first few days, suitcase told me that the make-up artist was an extreme chatter-box that preferably likes to "spill the tea" on everyone. But if you've been following this blog for a while now, you'd know that im not really good with understanding these types of frases, so for the longest time i thought that this guy actually spilled tea on people on porpose. (he looks really refined, so i just assumed he would be the kind of guy to like tea) So i, being extremelly cautious to not get tea on my lovely red paper, avoided him for like 5 days straight! He eventually caught on and complained to suitcase about it, she then told me so, and i explained my conundrum to her. After she explained what the frase actually meant, we couldnt stop laughting! I never actually apologised to the guy, i sure hope he doesnt hold grudges!

[briarborealisart]

tell me about your favorite characters (or ocs if you’d like) 👀👀👀

this post is going to be long so: oc info under the cut! i guess this is a good time to tell anyone who doesnt know me from other sites that i have a bunch of various ocs in my brain always. fun fact: originally this blog was going to be my art and oc blog! hence: briarborealisart. unfortunately the allure of fandom reblogs Got Me and now my blog is a deeply disorganized folder of Interests rather than me putting anything of my own out there LOL. maybe i should make an oc sideblog or smth but i feel like i wouldnt keep up with it </3

OK SO I HAVE A NUMBER OF OCS FROM DIFFERENT WORLDS. i'll go in order of world age (mostly---i don't remember the exact chronology) and stick to my main oca. anyone who i tag as a collaborator/co-author also has ocs that interact with mine and did a great amount of the worldbuilding and u should check them out hehehehe!!

WHOOPSVERSE

whoopsverse is a world jointly created by some friends and i (@natyune-art, @catatonickeeper and alythea). it's an epic fantasy and it is also falling apart actively lore-wise because we all became Adults With Jobs who had some creative differences regarding what we wanted for the roleplay SO its kind of a free for all rn. BUT IT IS SO DEAR TO ME. it started out as an offshoot of the google plus roleplay community World of Alengra by derbybubblefish but it quickly became its own thing. i technically have a billion and a half ocs from this world but most of them are defunct/shelved for now (read: dead)

my two most active ocs from whoopsverse are vas and kiska

vasushri jilpa nuriya, aka vas, is a mortal girl who keeps getting reincarnated with the same voidkin attached to her soul. voidkin are minor gods who are born from the void, a nebulous sea of chaos. they are goopy fellas and can latch onto mortal souls to give them innate void magic. void magic involves portaling, hammerspace, and in rare occasions, shapeshifting into a voidkin. vas has the rare shapeshifting bond.

kiska, aka the godkiller, aka tempest, is a once-mortal woman, now immortal, who is blessed by the death god with immortality and great power. in return, she is to wander the earth exterminating rogue immortals. she's like a very specialized grim reaper.

kiska frequently runs into vas in her many incarnations and adopts her.

PROJECT STARSTRUCK

@ask-projectstarstruck (mine and @doeblossom 's poor abandoned baby) is an ask blog set in a world much like our own, except that magic exists! it takes place in a fictional college and follows two (or three? 👀) students. blog spoilers to follow!! (also, the concept existed before and continues to exist outside of the ask blog, lol). MY two (most active) ocs in there are austral and boreal

austral lucis is a college student at the university of lenton springs! she's a business major and communications minor who graduated valedictorian of her high school class, and got a full ride scholarship to this ivy league college not too far from her home. she's a huge stick in the mud and very VERY type A. her story revolves around learning how to be her own person instead of doing what everyone expects/wants of her. her college roommate is callista aka elise, @doeblossom 's oc!

boreal lucis is dead. no, really! she's a ghost, and austral's twin sister. through an uncanny twist of fate, or maybe magic, when boreal was stillborn her life force attached to austral, and her ghost grew up with her. austral is the only person who can see her, and ghosts/hauntings aren't really well researched in the world of project starstruck, so... austral has defaulted to pretending she doesn't exist, so that people don't think she's crazy. boreal is a silly goofy guy, because you've got to have some way to entertain yourself when the only other person who knows you exist pretends she doesn't. boreal's story is ALSO about learning to become her own person, but this time a lot more literally.

boreal is very protective of austral, the both of them having grown up with a mother that was very demanding and dismissive of austral's emotional needs. austral would prefer not to talk about it.

SILLY SUPERHERO STORY

THIS ONE IS ALLLLL ME BABEY. i read so much of the Alernate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers tag on ao3 that i haaaaaaaad to make my own. since this is all me i have a bajillion ocs in this world.

here i'll just copy and paste over from my discord (these descriptions might not be super accurate since they were written a long time ago)

ok core cast

19 year old spiderman kinnie mc, a vigilante named leon wright. became a vigilante after his existing powers mysteriously evolved (this Doesn't Happen to other people)

15-16 year old dani wright, leon's little sister, found out leon was a vigilante and promised to snitch on him if he didn't let her join him

17-18 year old stereotypical tech/hacker/guy in the chair guy named mick simmons, technically a supervillain because he keeps committing minor cyberterrorism. his only parent was a supervillain who got arrested when he was like 14. he met leon online after hacking his animal jam account. so far he's the only one whose codename ive made and it's discord

18-20 yo main villain, kammie stoll, a deranged and unhinged cartoonishly evil young woman who leon is a MASSIVE simp for, and she is in love...with DESTRUCTION!!! NYEHEHEH

a registered dad-aged hero, brendan powell, so stressed about the fact that these kids are out here fighting, desperately trying to be a positive role model for/adopt them

a dad-aged villain, grant stoll, kammie's bio dad, they have a great relationship /gen, he is also trying to adopt all the kids because he respects their gusto and thinks they'd be great friends for his daughter

the wright parents, phoebe and cyrus; one of them knows about their kids vigilante stuff, the other is oblivious (havent decided which is which). theyre separated but friendly and have a rivalry going on about who the kids like more

the hero hq secretary, sandra flores, who has a power that "lets her type really fast" but actually its just legitimately a superspeed power and shes so cool and rad. she just lets people think she's Normal

milo pryce, mick and leon's third roommate that they picked up off of craigslist or smth because they couldnt afford an apt on their own salaries. he's pretty normal (or is he?) and just a background civilian (or IS he?) except that he's a doomsday prepper with a serious hoarding problem, but only in his room. very meticulous otherwise

and, of course, the REAL big bad evil guy: clarisse simmons, mick's supervillain mom. she's a very mysterious force for most of the story until the THIRD ACT TURN WHERE ITS REVEALED SHES BEEN THE MASTERMIND THE WHOLE TIME! or... something like that

THE WEAVER'S APPRENTICE

story MAINLY driven by @natyune-art featuring witches, betrayal, and mystery!! my character in there is named dijah

khadijah, aka khadi or dijah, is a witch. in this world, witches can see the strings of fate that surround a person and view, interpret, and/or manipulate those strings. dijah wanders the world as kind of a rogue, wandering from town to town with nothing tying her down anywhere. that is, until she arrives at a town where a string of kidnappings finally catches up to her location. a bartender she made sort-of friends with is the next to go missing, and she immediately decides to start investigating. while she's in town, she also meets auryn, a traveling performer like herself. he's extremely suspicious, but she has no real evidence that he's behind the kidnappings, especially when he agrees to help her with her investigation. drama! intrigue! romance! horror! whimsy! they have it all!!!

THE OWL HOUSE

most recently and most clearly the subject of my brainrot, @doeblossom peer pressured me to make an owl house self insert oc and BOY DID I. ITS SO FUN. in addition to being besties with toh!doe, she ALSO has interactions with @mothsha 's toh oc myrna, and @blimate 's toh oc wynter. her name is sol

solstice finch is a teen prodigy. she graduated hexside at 15 years old under the potion track, and ended up succeeded in the emperor's coven tryouts, which she had entered by accident. she quickly made her way through the coven scout ranks and at 16 is a coven official a la kikimora. she's besties with doe and hunter :) her mentor WAS lilith, but after The Season One Finale... they don't talk for a while haha. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT HER BUT I'LL KEEP IT BRIEF: sol is THE silliest little guy. she's also basically a cat, we swear. shortly after hollow mind she defects from the coven and that's when she ends up meeting myrna and re-meeting wynter.

AND THATS IT. THATS EVERYONE THAT I CAN BE BOTHERED WITH RN. I FEEL LIKE IM MISSING SOME KEY FELLERS BUT WHAT CAN BE SAID. IM LATE FOR MOVIE NIGHT I JUST CHECKED THE TIME. GOTTA GO!

[quesadillawizard]

Reposting from Old Blog

what the fuck is up everyone I got a story idea from a dream I had after only getting two hours of sleep on a work night. deets under the cut.

FIRST RECORDING OF THE DREAM’S INFO SPAMMED IN A CHAT

oh god its like fleeting images bushes turning into wings people could use a man that was a lantern given human form a horse buggy with no horse but it had spider legs being on the run from someone bad with a gang of kids a diner called Bazooka Joe's somethinga bout an old traffic tunnel it was vaaaaaaaaaaaaarely vaguley pkemon related then it swapped to minecraft the man who was on the run with the kids looked like the humanized version of jack skellington i draw sometimes the bad guys were these giant long dragons one of them made out of corn husks and one was all black and called The Ugly and like, the guy was leading the kids around and showing them all kinds of cool shit so they wouldnt be scared while subtly keeping an eye out for the dragons who like, knew him personally I think they were either trying to get home or get them to a certain point in the weird world because there were a lot of nonsense things kind of like in the phantom  tollbooth oh well time to go to work on two hours of sleep but those two hours gave me that

After spending all day thinking about it at work and telling a few oher folks about it, I arrived at a first draft of what would become the story’s bones.

So there are four kids who are at a camp (ala digimon) who get lured into the woods by a strange light and then find themselves in this weird out of place town that seems nearly abandoned but has tons of weird touristy attractions like places to eat, shop, rides to go on, and generally neat stuff because its empty adn NO PARENTS HERE!!! and this tall dude in black with a sick mustache who calls himself Mr. Fetch swoops in to be their tour guide and leads them through all kinds of whimsical fun shit some of it's dangerous, some of it's weird, but most of it is fun and HE is also super fun because he's all magic and shit While he's hanging with the kids, he starts getting sort of attached to them (sorry spilled my water) then, at one point, they are attacked by a monster and they try to defend Mr. Fetch because they see him as a feeble old man and he is Moved by this and steps in to Stop Them From Doing That and gets his ass kicked in a very significant way as he fends off the beast he is Injured  and loses the use of a lot of his powers during the fight but he doesn't let on because he doesnt want to scare them and also EGO the monster that he fended off goes back to tell a weird gross black dragon called The Ugly that there are children in the town The Ugly used to be a beautiful dragon, one of a pair that had a falling out because The Ugly wanted to use the powers they had for evil and that made them gross and so the other dragon left him and sealed him in a tower so he couldn't hurt anyone The Ugly desires the SOULS AND BLOOD OF CHILDREN so that he may become beautiful again and attract his mate back (he misses the fact that he was who made himself ugly) He communicates with his few servents with a husk puppet of the other dragon he made to keep himself company with He also keeps himself company with a bunch of objects that were in the castle that he brought to life sort of like a reverse beauty-and-the-beast situation and these objects are his lackies that he uses to hunt down anyone youthful and beautiful it is revealed that Mr. Fetch used to be a lantern and was the first object that The Ugly transformed but he put too much magic into him and gave him free will and after a little while of being his servant, decided FUCK THAT and became a free agent of chaos in the town Mr. Fetch makes it like, his life's duty to fuck with The Ugly his original plan was to lure the kids into the world, parade them in front of The Ugly like NENER NENER and then whisk them away home before anything bad happened since The Ugly cant leave his tower but now Mr. Fetch is injured and caaaaaaaaaant do that nearly as easily as he thought he could and now he's gone and gotten ATTACHED to the kids the light in his lamp is out and more lackies are coming after him and the kids so he's trying his best to finish this little wonderland trip with them without letting them know that they are in Actual Danger now instead of Fun Danger and THAT IS WHAT I HAVE

this is all VERY scattered but I wanted to have it somewhere as early as I could to show my work.

[wallysbestie]

Crush Tag

Tumblr crushes challenge: post your favorite blogs to spread positicvity and get your pals some new followers!

i was tagged by @shelovesjinani and @salty-hun im :((( so soft i love you two so much wowow

i also really love @spookyboyfelix @gayforjiwon @newkids-thefinal @tangerine-jinani @taecheeks @felegs @ttherose @drunkennessmv @unkooked @spaceboy-yuta @busanduo @do-joon @strayaykids @lovely-hyoo @mias97 @minbebee @sonyeon-ddaeng @namia-a @kxmwoojxn @keeping-it-rosey and  🌵 anon with my whole ass heart thanks for making me so incredibly happy every time we talk <3

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. ∞

a/n: this made me tear up a bit ngl bc haikyuu always hitting us with ‘theres no next year for us’ typa bull like BLS TAKE PITY ON MY SOUL AND STOP TIME AND KEEP MY BOYS TOGETHER :(((((((

it has an infinity symbol bc this is in the future so there isnt really an episode number 

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

the third years coming back to seijoh the following year for a surprise visit, and watching over practice cuz they were in town for break. being impressed on how kyo has calmed down (a bit), kunimi actually giving a sh-, yknow the deal. just the growth of their kouhai makes them 🥺🥺 but THEN- Y O U walk in with the team’s bottles n the small gasp that comes out of your mouth when you see them. they GAWK cuz you’re maturing SO well (stfu oikawa- my eyes up are here) and just 🥺🤲

SO LIKE UNLESS YOURE NEW TO MY BLOG YOU KNOW THIS FINNA BE A SAD ONE BC SEIJOH THIRD YEARS ARE MY FAVORITE BOIS AND THEM GRADUATING MAKES ME :(

oh god here comes the tears

so

it was something you knew was coming since yanno, third years and all that

but you were so sure you had more time left before it happened

didnt you just join the team and met them like yesterday?

nope love you met nearly a year ago

and they made quite an impact on you in the short term you were together

so during the day of graduation

it wasnt really a school day since it was mostly for third years and the whole ceremony but kouhais could come so they could send off their senpais

you already called each third year the night before, nearly 2 hours per boy, to talk to them and cry with them so you didnt have to cry during the day

but ofc

you were sobbing already when you saw your captain walk up and get his tube with the diploma inside

they tried to remain strong as they sat in their seats but a single glance at you and the team at the stands above, the tears were already either forming or full out slipping

i know yall finna beat me up for this but im not really familiar with the other third years in the team bc theyre not really shown in the anime or manga that much so i dont have a good grip on their character so can we pls pretend theyre not in here?? omg pls dont kill me though

the ceremony felt like a long time for the seniors but when it was finally over, they ran out of that building and yall did too and you bolted yourself into the arms of your captain

oikawa held you tightly against him and he didnt care about being seen by his fangirls, who were waiting outside for him, or the others who wanted to have you to them too

‘i love you, y/n-chan’

he mumbled and you nodded

‘mhm. i love you too, oikawa-san. i love all my boys’

YALL MY HEART IS BREAKING BC OIKAWA ACTUALLY MEANT IT THIS TIME AND YOURE STILL OVER HERE THINKING THAT HES JUST SAYING IT AS A FRIEND LIKE IM-

iwa ripped you away from him and your face was buried into his chest

but it didnt last long since the others got a little impatient and just joined the hug turning it into a group hug

‘i dont want you to leave!’

kindaichi sobbed and kunimi sniffled, holding on tighter to the backs of his senpais

even kyo was sad but hes a tuff boy so he easily hid that behind his usual frown and glare

after seeing their parents and reassuring them they would be home soon, you started your trek towards your usual hang out spot

the second and first years were walking ahead of you while the third years fell back in step with you in between them

mattsuhana flanked your left while iwaoi were at your right

the tears were now gone but sniffles still filled the area and everyone was still down in their spirits

you held tightly to the warm big hands of iwaizumi and the soft touch of mattsun’s hand as if you were clutching your life-line

but you knew no matter how tightly you held on to them, they would still go and eventually leave you behind

the ramen shop was filled with another round of tears as everyone realized that this would be the last time seijoh og would have ramen here

‘WE DONT WANT YOU TO GOOO~~~~!!!!!!’

kindaichi sobbed while kunimi aggressively shoved noodles in his mouth to hide his hiccups

you refused to eat because you were so sad that you were scared you might end up throwing it all up later so you settled on relishing your time with the boys

oikawa was busy talking to yahaba and telling him tips and tricks for next year while iwaizumi was consolling the others who were crying

that left you to harshly wipe off the tears and focus on the jokes that matsuhana were telling to help and lighten up the mood

‘think of it like this! you won’t have oikawa and iwaizumi fighting anymore!’

well,,,,,

that kinda made things worse

geez makki stfu!!!!

you bursted into full tears and you sobbed, loudly and freely

‘WAAAAAHHHH!!!!!’

you wheezed and then continued to cry

everyone flinched and got startled at the sight of you crying

theyve seen you cry before but not this intensely and sadly 

‘DONT GO!!! OU-OUR FAMILY’S GONE!! ITS B-BROKEN NOW!!!!’

you wailed

everyone is so used to seijoh antics that they didnt even bat an eyelash when everyone started crying

‘damn it, i was trying not to cry!’

iwa growled and buried his face into his hands to hide the pain in his eyes

‘come here, y/n-chan’

mattsun cooed while sobbing and you went straight into his arms and his arms tightly wounded around you

he pressed kisses on your neck to calm you and he whispered promises to keep you from thinking that you would be alone

the boys were all still crying even when you paid for them and at the exit, everyone wouldnt let go of each other

ngl it was a weird sight of seeing these boys just hanging on and hugging the others and you were tightly pressed against makki’s chest 

‘dont cry, y/n-chan. we’ll be here, always. just a 4-hour ride to tokyo’

he promised but you shook your head

‘--too far’

you mumbled and he was able to make out a few words and he laughed

‘i swear you’ll see us in a few hours’

it took a few words of assurance from makki and eventually mattsun and iwa joined

oikawa stayed back because he already wanted to walk you home and iwa knew you were the one that was the hardest for oikawa to tell his plans to

waving them good bye, you fussed and made sure everyone was not crying anymore

‘you text me the moment you get home, all right? and kyo-san, let the food in your stomach settle before-’

‘before i take a bath-yea i know’

he rolled his eyes but he smiled lightly before hugging you

‘go home now, y/n’

he pushed you towards his captain but you pulled away one last time to give each boy a kiss on the cheek

their lips trembled, especially the third years, and wanted to keep their tears in but they rocket launched to space

yanno that one part in season 1 when kiyoko told them to work hard and then they just snot-rocketed and cried

oikawa interlaced your fingers as you both walked towards your house and it was quiet

you were sus bc it was too quiet and oikawa would usually be either skipping, humming a tune, or just yapping his ass off

but right now

he was quiet, slouchy, and,,,, not oikawa

you looked up to see his face and you knew it wasnt just the graduating part

it was like,,,, he was nervous

you squeezed his hand and that got his attention

‘oikawa-san, whats wrong?’

he suddenly stopped and your linked hands caused you to also stop so you watched him stare down at his shoes and you blinked at him in confusion

‘oika-’

‘y/n, tell me to stay’

he,,, sounded like he was begging

pleading

desperate to hear you say it

‘why should i?’

you asked and he finally lifted his eyes to stare into your eyes

he gulped before further explaining himself 

‘coach got me a volleyball scholarship’

he whispered and your eyes widened before you launched into him for a hug and pulled back to cup his face

‘oh my god! tooru! a scholarship?! im so proud-’

‘in argentina’

he finished and your eyes dimmed, the lifted corners of your lips falling into a frown

‘o-oh’

you stuttered and pulled your hands away but he grabbed them, placing them back to his face 

‘but if you dont want me to go, i wont-’

‘NO! what?! tooru, its your dream! you and iwa-san wouldnt stop talking about that match with argentina and-and you want to go there! dont you dare let that slip away!’

you scolded frantically however oikawa’s face scrunched before he started crying

‘i-i can’t! y/n, i’ll be alone! its so far away! far from iwa, far from you-’

then you reached to your tippy toes and kissed his nose then leaned back with a big smile

‘no matter how far, ill always be right here. im always going to be here, waiting for you’

you mumbled and oikawa hiccuped then leaned his forehead against yours, eyes clashing that was so full of love and fear

‘then dont you worry, y/n-chan. oikawa-senpai will work really hard and he will come back and make you happy’

he whispered and you pulled him even closer to give him the biggest hug

‘im looking forward to it’

TIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIP

ONEYEARONEYEARONEYEARONEYEAR

truth to be told with guilty conscience, the third years havent really been in touch

yes theyve called and messaged but there wasnt a normal kind of communication, especially with oikawa

but they decided to go over there during a simultaneous week break for universities in tokyo and iwa, makki, and mattsun pressured oikawa to fly back to japan just for a week to visit

‘iwa-chan im so broke righ-’

‘fine, we’ll see y/n ourselve-’

‘OKAY FINE! HERE! IM BUYING THE TICKET NOW SEE?!’

bahahaha im sorry i love oiks so much its not even funny

they agreed to not tell anyone, even coach, to surprise you all and to see your faces of surprise bc mattsuhana are little shites and they love to mess around

it was a normal day during practice

yahaba was teaching some first years how to serve while watari was giving exercising tips on how to bend their knees without shrieking in athritis

kyotani was doing jump serves while kindaichi and kunimi tried to block him

it was a normal day

the former third years knew the ins and outs of the place and oikawa still had his keys of the gym since he never gave it back so they were easily able to sneak in

they sat on the bleachers and observed everyones growth which really blew them away and took them aback by how much they improved in little time

like kunimis actually huffing and throwing a mini tantrum bc hes so into it and hes mad he didnt get that block right

they also noticed the larger amount of new recruits and based on their practice, it looks like they would be in good hands for the next few years

however, the true shock settled in when this happened

kyotani cursed loudly when the ball hit out but yahaba scolded him for saying a bad word in front of the first years

‘kyotani, dont say that anymore! its not good to teach the babies bad words!’

he ranted and the college boys shared a look of caution and fear, bracing themselves for kyotani’s normal screaming and tantrum for being called out

but they were the most surprised when the bleach-haired boy simply glared at him and turned away to go pick up another ball to hit

‘did,,,, did kyoken-chan-’

‘was he just calm right now?’

‘oh my god iwa-chan kyoken-chan got abducted by aliens!’

I SWEAR TO GOD ITS LIKE THE CURRENT THIRD AND SECOND YEARS GOT AN OIKAWA ‘IWA-CHAN’ SENSOR BECAUSE THE MOMENT HE SAID THAT, THEIR EARS TWITCHED AND THEY JUST KNEW

THEIR SENPAIS WERE HERE

their eyes were wide and their attention snapped towards the bleachers where indeed, their 4 fathers sat

‘OIKAWA-SAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

kindaichi screamed and he NYOOMED towards the stairs but kunimi grabbed him by the collar

‘come down here, senpais!’

yahaba urged and coach and naoi shared a look of initial shock but then transformed into happiness

it was nice to see the family together again

they quickly turned into a dog pile with the hugs that were given around like kyotani actually giving iwaizumi a hug and makki and mattsun affectionately ruffling everyone’s hair

the other first years were just staring in awe at the legendary third years of seijoh that theyve heard so much about

‘everyone, these are your seniors!’

yahaba presented and the 3 third years became very flustered but ofc attention whore oikawa soaked it up

‘yes, hello, my little disciples! you are my legacy so work har- IWA-CHAN!’

he was cut into his famous line when his best friend bonked him for being too self-absorbed again

‘waaa, l/n-senpai was right’

some first year mumbled at the scene and their ears perked up at the name

‘l/n?’

‘where is she?! y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted and looked around

BECAUSE OF FATE

YOU AUTOMATICALLY MANIFESTED THERE

‘YES YOU CALLED’

okay no but you actually walked in just in time, carrying the crate of water bottles, focused on not dropping them so you didnt really see the others

they were silent not because they wanted to mess with you and see how long youd figure out that they were there

no

they were silent because of how BEAUTIFUL you became

you gained a few inches and your hair is now longer with your baby fat slowly melting away and you were also finally showing your growth with your body

the eyes that used to gleam with childish innocence was now mature and poised like a perfect lady

even the way you walked with a crate made it seem like a ballet performance with the grace at every step and the flowery aura you exuded

you have turned from a ridiculously cute and pretty girl to a beautiful goddess

AND YOU WERE ONLY IN YOUR SECOND YEAR HOW THE HELL ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO HANDLE IT WHEN YOURE FINALLY A THIRD YEAR?!

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE AMOUNT OF BOYS THEY HAVE TO WARD OFF?!

‘my god’

iwaizumi mumbled, flushing red and turning away to hide his fluster

‘beautiful’

oikawa whispered and he gulped, not remembering how strikingly attractive you are

‘have mercy’

makki whined softly, clutching his heart as it started beating fast and made his stomach feel all funny

did they act like this back in the day?

mattsun doesnt have control so he ran forward and you were just putting the crate down when you were lifted off of the floor and twirled around

so like yahaba waved off the others to go back to practice so its like not awkward to be standing around and see this happening

there was only one person who did this to you

‘mattsun-san?!’

you shrieked and you giggled happily as he put you down so you were able to hug him properly and eventually, catching sight on the others behind him

your gasp made them smile widely and you pressed a hand to your mouth to hide the shock and your overjoyed laugh

if they could take a picture of this and remember the amount of love your eyes held and the pure unfiltered happiness that swirled in those orbs

it was like they felt themselves falling in love with you all over again

‘oh my god everyone’s here too!’

you ran to them and jumped at the awaiting arms of iwaizumi and he was still the bara arm babie you remembered

‘i missed you, doll’

he whispered

‘hmmm,,,i missed you more’

he let you go and you skipped over to makki who engulfed you in his arms and you felt his soft brown hair because you remembered he loved it when you ran your fingers through his hair

‘youve grown! so much! you got even more beautiful!’

he exclaimed and you giggled, bashful at his compliment

‘hmm~, no i didnt’

he gave you a deadpan look and you chuckled before scurrying away towards the one you wanted to hug the most

he definitely got more toned and he got taller too

you didnt have any time to react since he grabbed you and squished you against him

‘youre here, oikawa-san’

he nuzzled his head against your neck

‘mhm, im here now, y/n-chan’

he placed a kiss on your nose and you scrunched your face but there was a big smile that was clear

then oikawa’s eyes trailed from your face to your,,, ahem,,, girls

‘jesus, y/n-chan really grew, huh’

he complimented and you blinked confusingly before trailing after his eye’s gaze and it landed on your chest and you punched him

‘urusai, oikawa-san! my eyes are up here! youre so perverted. pervert oikawa-san’

you pouted and moved to seek comfort in the arms of makki

‘hmm, oikawa’s perverted as usual. i think it got worse with all those argentinian women’

makki teased and mattsun joined to poke fun at their captain

oikawa whined and told iwa they were making fun of him to which his own best friend betrayed him and starting teasing him too

you simply watched on and your eyes watered, your sniffles catching their attention

‘eh? why are you crying, y/n-chan?’

oikawa asked while approaching you to wipe your tears with his thumbs

but you shook your head with a teary smile

‘n-nothing-just,,,, i missed you guys. an-and im so happy because its like our f-family’s back together and i just-i-’

you cried but it was out of happiness and their hearts warmed

ofc they felt guilty because they were aware that they werent as in touch as they shouldve been so you probably felt lonely and casted aside without any contact from your boys

but they know now to make sure you feel loved and cared for because as you keep saying, they were your boys

they were a family

seijoh is a family 

and you love them 

but they love you more

a/n: okay im sorry this is probably trash and all over the place and im crying and stressing but ive been writing in between my college alg homework and its been so hard like WHY IS NUMBERS SO HARD LIKE WHAT-?! but this has kinda been the baby of my break time and relaxing few minutes bc i procrastinate too much and i want to do something i like before i actually go insane and i promise PROMISE that once everything is cleared up i will edit this and im already working on the other requests so expect a few to be out by the end of the week or something like that!!

[a-slut-for-smut]

what are your top 10 relationships in aot?

Hmm very interesting question anon- thanks for asking! Idk if i can really rank them since i only have the one OTP, but i can certainly give my 2 cents on the most popular pairings, according to the interwebs.

2 things to keep in mind:

i dont hate/dislike any pairing. I dont care enough to waste energy doing so. I like what i like, other people like what they like- simple as that, i cant understand why its so hard for ppl to grasp this concept

You may be wondering about my recent tag usage because ive been tagging a lot of diff ships- mainly for my anti-SNK139 shitposts. Just had a wild idea that maybe- JUST MAYBE, we could all put aside our differences and just have a laugh at our shared misery. Because idk how any of us are supposed to be happy with this ending. I mean, upon reflection I see what Isayama was going for, but idk its just tough to swallow unlike Levi's fun juice. Which, in my opinion, should be taken as a compliment- the man set the bar so high with the previous arcs that our expectations were thru the roof despite a rushed final arc, and he just...missed the dunk? Anyway hot take, i know.

Ok i digress- to the ask, in no particular order:

Levihan

Cute ship, very fluffy. Who doesn't like best friends to lovers trope? And theres no denying they have mutual respect for each other, which is a huge kink of mine. Honestly, its hard for me to ship a pairing if it isn't evident. That said, does this pairing get my ovaries going? Eh, not particularly but i still likies

Erehisu

I was behind this ship mainly because i was sold on Eren's "Walter White" villain arc. What better catalyst for a dramatic change in character than if their child was involved? The idea that Eren went full Hitler because he got Historia preggers and wanted the child to grow up in a "free" world? What parent wouldnt sell their soul for that goal, given the world they live in? And Historia- grappling with the knowledge/morality of Eren's plan but for the sake of the child? Prime for character development. Not to mention all the blatant crumbs. But Isayama went NOPE.

Eremika

Oh boy. So, firstly, i would have readily accepted this ship if Isayama laid off the one-sidedness a bit. But he didnt. And while im sure there are instances that can be interpreted as mutual affection, i dont see how that excuses all the times Eren snapped at her/just generally annoyed with her attentions. Like, we dont know his POV at all until the very end which retroactively you can say, oh he didnt want to cause her future pain? But by then its too late for US. And in the end (im not clear on this tho/too lazy to check) was it ever made clear to Mikasa that he reciprocated her feelings? Im prob biased/self-projecting here, but I would NOT have stuck around on the off-chance that the dude is faking his disinterest?? Even if he did save my life and is my childhood friend! You dont owe someone love because of that, but because of how you mutually treat one another. Anyway i woulda taken the fucking hint and moved onto Levi's dick, i would never put up with that nonsense

Eruri

These 2 are bonded, to say the least. They hold each other in high regard and i love that about any ship. Good stuff.

Ereri

Doesn't do much in the ovary-dept for me relationship-wise, but man, this ship is popular for a reason. The fanart for this ship is TOP TIER 

Yumihisu

Again, they regarded each other highly and theres no denying they deeply cared for one another. Sometimes love doesnt give a shit what genitals you happen to have, why cant ppl understand this? We all got hearts and souls, that counts for something??

Aruani

The energy for this ship is a little tepid for me. Maybe because her ass was stuck in a crystal 70% of the story, but i liked pre-crystal annie alot. If anything, i preferred her dynamic with Eren more, mainly because Eren respected her so much and she contributed a lot to his character growth in the first arc. Just my preferred dynamic for a ship. Also she kicked his ass so much i was beginning to think he was into it

Jeankasa

Dont mind it at all. I think it lacks a certain degree of intensity that i prefer in my ships, but theres def mutual respect there and im all for it.

Jeanpiku

Thought this was a cute ship that came to bloom in the later chapters. its intriguing dynamic- falling in love with the (former) enemy kind of way.

Rivamika

Uh. Where to start. Actually i wont because this post is long enough as is. Just peruse my blog if you're actually curious ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[idnek83]

Hey it’s angst o’clock: before Kaz and Gundham get together, when they still kinda hate each other, 2 of the Devas have babies and everyone takes turns babysitting the litter while Gundham works. Kaz’s turn comes and he finds one of the babies has died and fREAKS THE FUCK OUT. Like sobbing cuz he’s never had a pet before let alone seen one die and so he takes the baby and flees and everyone thinks he just straight up stole a baby but really he’s fucking horrified and terrified to tell Gundham cuz he fucked it up and the baby is dead cuz of him somehow. And someone, maybe Sonia, finds him and talks him down and they go to Gundham who is more upset that Kaz “stole” a baby but once he realizes what happens he understands. Being a Breeder he probably sees animal death a lot unfortunately. But he helps comfort Kaz and forgives him and lets him help with the living babies and maybe that’s how they start becoming actual friends and sometime down the line they realize oh fuck I’m actually in love with this dude when did that happen IDK SHOWER THOUGHTS WOULDNT LEAVE ME ALONE I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE SORRY

You think you can come onto my blog and just rip my fucking heart out, huh? Right in front of my mutuals? You think you can just rip my heart out and force me to write something sad so everyone else has to feel sad too?

Good. Cus you 100% can lol.

TW: animal death - It’s mentioned repeatedly and is the central theme of this, so please just skip this one if you think you might be uncomfortable reading it. 

Gundham comes into the class one day and he’s super proud and showing off the baby hamsters to everyone. He’s a little embarrassed to ask for help, but he’s working on a very important conservation project or something, so he asks if anyone would be willing to keep an eye on them for an hour or two at a time over the next few days, insisting that it wouldn’t be hard, all they really had to do was make sure they didn’t escape and call Gundham if something went wrong. At least like half the class offers cus the babies are just so damn cute, Soda only offers cus Sonia did and he’s trying to impress her.

Gundham sets up an enclosure for the hamsters in the classroom, and everyone picks a time to come by to watch them.

When Soda’s turn rolls around a few days later, he’s secretly a little excited. He’s been complaining about it the past few days to keep up appearances, can’t have anyone suspecting that even tough he can’t stand Gundham, he also kind of has a soft spot for him (What? Dudes handsome), but he’s actually pretty psyched to get to spend some time just chilling with the baby hamsters. He’s never had his own pet, but he’s always wanted one.

Anyways, when he gets to the class he checks on all the babies and as far as he can tell they’re all good. He gives pets them for a bit, but then they seem like they’re trying to go to sleep so he leaves them and sits at a desk to play around on his phone for a while. Like 40 minutes later he gets up to check on them again.

They’re pretty much all huddled up, and Soda thinks it’s super cute, but he notices one lying down a bit away from the rest. He assumes it must have rolled away in it’s sleep, or that it got kicked out since its the smallest one, so he goes to move it back over to the hamster pile.

It’s cold when he touches it.

He knows pretty much right away what that means, but he doesn’t want to believe it. He pokes it a bit and tries to scratch it’s whiskers to get it to react, but it doesn’t move. He’s already crying, but then he starts thinkin about how it was probably something on his hands that killed it. He didn’t was his hands after finishing up in his garage, and he must have had oil or something on his hand when he was petting the hamster and now it was dead.

He’s hyperventilating.

He’s worried he killed them all, but looking at the hamster pile, the rest of them all appear to be breathing still. He’s too scared to touch them to make sure.

He’s sure its his fault. His fault for touching the hamster with dirty hands and his fault for not paying more attention. The hamster was probably acting weird before it died, if he had just been paying attention he could have called Gundham and it would still be alive.

He’s a murderer.

Sonia was supposed to be the next person watching the hamsters. He couldn’t let her see the dead baby hamster, couldn’t let her know he killed it. He looks around the room and finds a little box to put it in. He’s chocking on his sobs as he picks up the hamster, and he nearly drops it because his hands are shaking so bad. Once it’s in the box he has to take a moment cus he thinks he might vomit from how guilty he feels. 

There’s like 10 minutes before Sonia is supposed to get there, so he takes one last look at the other hamsters, picks up the little box that has no right feeling as heavy as it does, and leaves.

He doesn’t really know where to go so he just heads up to the roof to get some fresh air and think, sobbing the whole way. He’s pretty sure he saw Sonia down one of the hells on his way up, but he just prays she didn’t see him and that she doesn’t remember how many hamsters there were.

He sits with the box in his lap, shaking. 

He thinks he feels it shift.

His chest seizes up. Was it alive? Had he really not killed it? He can feel the hope swelling up inside him as he slowly opens the box-

It’s dead.

It’s definitely dead and now its lying on its side and its little eyes are staring right at Soda and it takes him a minute to realize his sobs have turned into screams of agony. The hope made it so much worse.

He closes the box again and sets it down so gently beside him, before curling in on himself and just sobbing and screaming into his hands so hard his whole body is shaking from it.

He’s a murderer. He killed a defenseless animal. A baby. It was only a few days old and he killed it.

Suddenly there’s a warm hand on his back, rubbing just a little and bringing him back down to earth. His sobs slowly get weaker and he manages to look up, though his vision is still blurred with tears. He can make out dark clothes, pale skin, and a bright purple scarf. He assumes Gundham is there to punish him.

Gundham just asks him what’s going on, says Sonia called him because one of the hamsters was missing and she thought she had seen Soda running away from the classroom earlier. They assumed he had taken one of the hamsters for himself, but that didn’t explain why he was crying on the roof.

Soda realizes that the only reason Gundham isn’t beating him senseless is because he doesn’t know the hamster is dead.

“I killed it.” He starts sobbing harder the second the word leave his mouth. He feels Gundham’s hand tense on his back

“What.” Gundham definitely sounds pissed now. He’s not yelling, but his voice sounds deadly. Soda accepts that he’s about to get the shit kicked out of him, accepts it even. He deserves it.

“I-it must have been the oil on my h-hands or something, I don’t know. I s-should have been paying more attention, but when I looked at them gain it was-” his voice is cut off by another sob, and he’s just waiting for Gundham to hit him. To his surprise, some of the tension in Gundham’s body dissipates.  

“Where is the poor creature?” Gundham doesn’t sound angry anymore and Soda doesn’t understand. He just gestures towards the box, he’s too much of a coward to even look at it again.

Gundham gets up and opens the box. Soda hear him exhale sadly after a moment, before returning to Soda.

“It would seem we have both been mislead.” Gundham sits beside Soda and starts rubbing his back again. He explains that Soda did not kill the hamster, it seemed like something must not have developed right internally, and it simply died of natural causes. There was nothing either of them could have done to save it. Soda is just amazed how calm Gundham is being.

He asks him why he isn’t more upset, and Gundham sighs and tells him that it’s unfortunately something he sees a lot, so over time he’s just gotten used to it.

Soda’s just like “That fucking sucks.” and Gundham kind of laughs sadly and say “It fucking sucks indeed.” Soda’s kind of startled by Gundham swearing and it forces an awkward little laugh out of him. 

They’re both quite for a while, then Gundham tells him he’s touched by how upset Soda was over the hamsters death, and that he’s sure the hamsters soul appreciated him mourning it, but it is simply part of the circle of life and death, so he shouldn’t get too fixated on it. Soda’s still crying a little but he nods and says he’ll try, Gundham keeps rubbing his back.

They stay up on the roof for a while longer. Soda has mostly stopped crying, but Gundham’s hand is still on his back and he tries not to think too much about it. When they stand, Gundham picks up the box before Soda can even think about it and motions for him to follow him.

They bury it in some nearby woods, Soda insists on leaving some flowers. He asks Gundham not to tell their classmate about how much he cried. Gundham just says ‘of course’, as if they didn’t spend most their free time looking for new ways to get under each other’s skin.

Later, Gundham insists that Soda comes to see the healthy babies, telling him it will help him feel better. Soda is scared to be left alone with them, so Gundham just stays by his side the whole time. Even after Gundham finishes his project and brings them back to his place, he invites Soda over to see them. He starts teaching Soda about proper hamster care and they slowly grow closer and closer.

Sometimes Soda gets a little teary eyed while looking at the other hamsters, and he’s worried Gundham will make fun of him. He never does, he always just silently rubs Soda’s back, until one day he pulls him into a hug as well.

Months later, their relationship has completely turned around. They’re both constantly talking to each other and hanging out, they even occasionally refer to the hamster babies as their children haha. The rest of the class starts making bets on when they’ll realize they’re into each other, but for the time being they’re both happy they were able to finally become friends.

[spikedru]

Hi! So first off, your blog is incredible (probs the best buffy blog I have come across so far?) & second, I have gathered you are a spike fan, super curious to hear your thoughts on the terrible episode in season 6 (?) where he tries to r*pe buffy. I feel like everyone tends to ignore the weirdness of season 6 but I really want to explore other folks opinions on it

lmao thank u for enjoying my bullshit <3

it got kinda long so im putting my thoughts under a read more. tw for discussion of sexual assault

to be frank i dont think ive actually sat down and watched seeing red since the first time i watched the show back when i was like. 14. a lot of shit goes down in that ep that is not fun to watch, nor was it supposed to be. in my personal opinion, i dont like most of season 6. it starts out fine, bargaining and after life are interesting, engaging episodes. the seeds of everyones explosive interpersonal dramas are about to fully bloom, and theres a lot of narrative tension in that regard. but as the characters unhealthy coping mechanisms start to catch up with them and bad decisions after bad decisions are being made, i no longer enjoyed watching characters i love begin to succumb to their downward spirals. the push/pull of negative character development works for some people, but it just wasnt enjoyable to me. i started this blog in march right around the time i was doing my first s6 rewatch in years and i eventually gave up right before riley shows back up because it wasnt fun for me to watch anymore (also because i think as you were is a dumb episode lol) :/ lmao i guess as a depressed 20 something i dont want to also watch a bunch of depressed 20 somethings struggle with real world problems. im still debating whether to just go back and watch the dark willow eps, bc that was fun to see, but other than that ... :/

back to seeing red, while i hate that it lead to an attempted sexual assault, i can understand the narrative path that got them to that point. spike is absolutely in the wrong, he's the one that took it too far, but regardless, from a character perspective i can see how he got to the bathroom. the buffy/spike sexual relationship is absolutely toxic the moment it begins. its built on misunderstandings, buffy using spike without regard for his feelings not understanding that despite being soulless he is his own person with his own emotions, and spike not understanding why buffy is turning to him, that her own self loathing and depression is what is driving her to him as a means of escape, not truly because of a purer emotion like love which is what he wants. their whole tryst is a stew of muddled yes/no mixed signals. and after buffy decides to break it off with spike for good, as a way for herself to begin healing from her depression, it makes sense that he wouldnt fully believe her. she had been turning her back on him and then crawling back so often, why would this time be different? again with the misunderstandings of the relationship between the both of them. they had reached a standstill where neither party knows how the other is interpreting their actions. i like this excerpt from Critically Touched's review of Seeing Red, because i feel like he is able to explain how they got to that bathroom scene in a very succinct way

"Something had to happen with these two. Spike had to just leave the show, die, or do something so bad to Buffy that he'd need to get a soul to even attempt to make things right with her, despite the fact that having a soul makes him a new individual in the process. So, despite obviously not "enjoying" the scene, I did find it shocking and I did find it valuable from a character perspective. Due to their twisted sexual relationship this season, I'm not convinced anything else other than this would result in Spike fighting for his soul to be not just a better man... but to be a man (which is poetically said in "Beneath You" [7x02])."

here is the link to the rest of the review -> [link] which i feel like, as with his other buffy reviews, is able to objectively analyze the episode in a really interesting and in depth way, and also help contextualize the episode not just within the season but the rest of the show. i recommend looking through the rest of his reviews, its an interesting perspective from someone who clearly loves this show a lot and is willing to take the time to analyze both the narrative threads as well as the character development, giving every single character their dues in his analysis.

i genuinely love both buffy and spike a lot as characters. they are both incredibly engaging and interesting, in how they grow and change throughout the course of the show, as well as how they play off each other and what they bring out in each other. seeing red is a difficult episode for a lot of people, and for good reason. while their relationship was toxic for both parties it was absolutely spike that took it too far, his attempted sexual assault is inexcusable, and he pays dearly for his transgression. i dont know if i will sit down and watch seeing red ever lol, its definitely up there with the body for episodes that i refuse to rewatch often (though for entirely different reasons lol).

i hope i explained that adequately. its a sensitive subject and i kno a lot of people understandably dont like spike because of his actions in s6. he had straddled the line between good and bad for so long that he had to reach some kind of tipping point to either go fully good or fully bad, and if he died or left the show it would have felt that his character arc had been cut short or left unfinished somehow. its unfortunate and terrible that the tipping point had to come at the cost of assault towards buffy, but as Critically Touched said given that the nature of their relationship was roughly sexual and full of misunderstandings, i can see how it ended up in that bathroom.

also just as a quick aside the way the scene is shot does an excellent job of evoking this sense of dread and wrong. you can tell immediately something awful is going to happen and it makes my skin crawl

[char-lotteral]

Look I'm not one of those people who believe Kishimoto decided to have Hinata and Naruto end up in the middle part of Shippuden. I believe he decided in the very last arc but he wanted to sound smart so he said he decided earlier on. Otherwise, they obviously would have more scene together. In Shippuden, they have only three scenes together ; when Naruto came back, the pain attack and the neji death scene. That's it. In the original Naruto, they probably have less than ten canon scenes not including fillers.

So I'm sorry I'm one of those who wasn't convinced by The Last. They literally had a basic villain go after Hinata who was cringe btw (the villain). They gave Hinata op powers which she doesn't have in the novel 👀. Despite having op powers, they made her the damsel in distress. Very "The hero saves the princess" cliche. Again, to justify them being together. I mean Naruto can't differentiate his love for ramen and romantic love so how??? He was just being nice to Hinata just like he does to everyone. He stood up for her just like he does for everyone.

Don't get me started on the Sakura Sasuke relationship 🤣. Cringe. They never knew each other. The whole Sakura's love for Sasuke saved him doesn't make sense. They spent barely a year in their genin year before sasuke left. Sasuke tried to kill Naruto and Sakura multiple times. Then at the end of the war, Kishimoto tried to do the "oh they have such a deep understanding between each other" which comes off as cringey. He gets her pregnant then leaves for years. She's literally a single mom who's broke.

Every relationship in Naruto is so cringey and forced except shikatemari. Kishimoto should've focused on the main story and fixed his potholes and leave the ending open.

Naruto would not have been perfect but at least it would've been remembered for staying true to its vision but instead it's remembered for cringey relationships, dumbass villain (except pain and madara) and a story that lost its core which is a shame coz I used to love Naruto. I was inspired by its messages but now....

OKAY LOL WAIT I ACTUALLY HAVE THIS LONG ASS RANT PREPARED XD

BUT FIRST Ive read what you said and I lowkey agree :p

HOWEVER

I DRAW THE LINE AT TONERI SLANDER. BECAUSE WHY

TONERI?? CRINGE?? THIS SEXY MOTHERFUCKER??

LOOK AT HIS WHITE FLUFFY HAIR AND HIS CERULEAN BLUE ORBS STARING DEEPLY INTO YOUR SOUL

SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW?!#*@*#&@*

okay lol now for the juicy part click readmore and beware I shall be brutally honest so yea enjoy

I mean, Naruto in general is a mess, not just the ships if we're being realistic. Alot of plotholes, rushed endings, this and that, the w a r a r c, Kaguya, the way they rushed Boruto ehhh. Honestly, getting into Naruto is literally my biggest regret of 2020 :"DD

Im an NH shipper as you can tell by my hotmess of a blog but i fully respect your opinion and understand your point of view. I also know a bunch of nh stans who have their complaints with their development. I wish Kishi gave more attention to his female cast really, thats all I fucking ask. If he did that one single basic thing, then maybe the endgame relationships wouldnt have been an asspull and theyd be given propper screentime with their love interest, both Sakura and Hinata. The Last tbh i think the writers played it safe and stuck to the whole Naruto shounen vibe thingy, so im not surprised it was plotted that way. Typical cliché shounen movie.

But does that bother me? No! The Last was a mess, their development was shit, they definitely needed more screentime but hey at the end of the day theyre cute as fuck, we have that kiss scene, flirting scenes, a shit ton of official art, three kids, Seiki's gif :33 and a whole ass arc for their wedding all that for just a shounen anime so eh. Compensates for it i guess xD theyre not toxic, unhealthy or whatnot. Theyre wholesome, soft and vanilla as fuck and exactly what i need in my hectic life rn. No drama, just two kind souls who are adorable as heck and theyre dynamic means so much to me and I will love them until i shall leave this earth.

Anon, im not even gonna waste my time and defend their development because i think it sucked too xD but if you wanna know why i love them so so so soooo much, Id be more than willing to tell you :33

Sasuke and Sakura on the other hand eeeehhhh i can see why people like them. Sasuke's hot, he's your typical hot bad boy aad Sakura's hot and pretty too. Basic blue and pink trope. Aside from their canon interactions, fans have all the opportunity to play around with their dynamic but for me, its just sooo basic and so hetero and can easily appeal to any 16 yr old teenage girl, no wonder it has an active fanbase on twt and---- AM I MAKING ANY SENSE? AHDBAJJE LIKE ITS SO-- BASIC, your usual bad boy x pretty girl trope that you get to read in YA and coming of age novels. Not only that, but going back to canon, they have too many negative interactions for me to like them together :p The least Sakura can do is put down her own foot and yell at him for not contacting them for god knows how long. I also dont like how he always gets easily forgiven >=[[. I mean at least He's compensating as a dad good for him but ehhhh i still dont like him and Sakura together :v And im not falling for that "Sakura is the reason why Sasuke isnt lonely anymore" because thats NARUTO AHHH. Sasuke said that Multiple times. HE LIGHTS A FIRE INSIDE OF ME. HES MY SUN. MY ONE AND ONLY FRIEND. LIEK?? THATS NARUTOOO romantic or not, Naruto was the reason for his not so lonely existence anymore smh >=[[

Sasuke almost murdered her and Naruto and made their lives a living hell but hey its all good!! He's my best friend and Sakura loves him!! So set him freeee into the worldddd~~

Sasuke left his family without even simply contacting them but can easily contact Naruto through a hawk but hey thats fine! His and Sakura's feelings are connected afterall! Sasuke gave her a ring and said thank you! Who cares about leaving your family. She loves him and he loves her so yey!!! All is forgiven :D

DID I MENTION SASUKE ALMOST MUREDERED HIS OWN DAUGHTER AND HE WASNT CALLED OUT FOR THAT@*#&@??!?#,*@#,#

Sasuke gets too many life points this isnt fair >=[[ But tbh he's nerfed so bad in Boruto manga and anime power wise. Like in that time travel arc and the manga. The rinnegan kunai thing was still so funny to me even if it was Borushiki. I just idk its so funny to me lmaoo

OKAY WHAT ELSE. I dont even know any more. Im tired of complaining about Naruto and just when Ive finally gone a little bit away from Naruto, Hinata fucking pulls me in again 😩 she has me on chokehold pls send help. Watch castlevania!!! and one piece!!!! ten times better than this anime about a loud blonde boi who wants to be president. Trust me

overall, i dont fully agree but i lowkey agree i guess. I do respect your opinion tho :))

EXCEPT WHEN YOU CALLED TONERI CRINGE. HOW DARE YOU CALL THAT SEXY MF CRINGEY---

[thetruthlsoutthere]

Possibilities/Comparisons & Differences & Parallels with -A

ok so this might be a bit of a thing so im gonna put the read more thing BUT IMPORTANT THING: in what you read below the read more line, i am putting it out there bluntly and truthfully as i have said and feel outloud as well as told others this same line because they are believers in this doctor who is real thing: I never have nor do i nor will i ever want someone else’s place in life let alone their spot, if you want to call it, in another’s life. Each person is their own and you cant change who you are, you can’t be someone else because you’re not them. Whatever and Whoever I am, is all i want and like anyone believing any of this is real, i too want to be completely in all/any of their lives, even if its just working along side, spending time with and developing any sort of relationship with them here on Earth. Anything more than that, I am here for them and other loved ones in anyway they want. If that means traveling and people want me along or working for any such organizations, i accept that but i dont expect it. I am myself and all i want to know if what and who I fully am as time passes.

I will say this again: these are possibilities, comparisons, parallels. I am NOT stating these as facts and i refuse to come off in any such way that puts me in a selfish negative light. Anyone is entitled to think however they feel off the things i put below the read more, i am merely just stating things ok? ok.

NOW, parallels and comparisons and differences and possibilities you may ask, with what or who? Clara Oswald, the Impossible Girl.

1) Where Clara lost her mother when she was young but still has her dad, i lost my dad when i was young but still have my mom.

2) the dream of the real version of the 11th incarnation of the Doctor in the backyard of my house, the adventure action that ensued, we were running together in the direction of the woods and he said in a urgent/desperate tone of voice with seriousness “You need to remember me Clara” or have to but it was words like that & it was just me and him in the dream.

3) we look eerily similar in most if not all aspects.

4) Where she was an only child, i have 5 older brothers and 1 older sister.

Note: taking the differences into account, there is this theory that they exist so that the similarities wouldnt be noticed and the differences would make it far fetched, names changed and things to protect the truth ya know? 

5) with waking reality to sleeping realoty, the sense of having an old soul and living/having countless other lives too / with Clara being impossible??

6) from meaningful blogs to quotes to songs to videos that pop up in ways they dont make sense to be showing themselves because anything viewed it appears with, they are completely unrelated to each other/ they keep popping up and with this THEORY, especially with CLara, Clara & the Doctor, especially the line “You are the only mystery worth solving”

7) with number six: Clara, things involving the Tardis and this life being mentioned when said videos and other stuff are completely unrelated to each other.

8) in public, hearing ‘Clara’ by others.

9) her whole thing with ravens {those and or crows} are the most kinds of birds constantly seen, heard by me and are around me.  {other birds too but relative to other meanings they stand for} {the meanings of seeing and hearing these birds, themselves}

10) everything with the leaves : fall/autumn has always been my favorite season and i always see more big leaves then the little ones, especially the ovate leaves and the maple leaves, especially in orangish redish brown colors. This ofc the leaves thing when it comes to Clara.

11) Where she was going to be a teacher and going between options before choosing, i did the same thing but i chose something else ; i had wonderings and thoughts about being a teacher and people told me that as a suggestion like they could see me doing it. And whenever i thought about it, i thought about doing the younger kids which is what Clara did.

12) Like with 11, Where Clara babysits and is good with kids, i have babysat and being an aunt, i have been told im great with kids and would be a good mom.

13) the kind of aura/vibe Clara would give as an old soul/restless/always here or there/here but not really here/countless lives/etc: A person who believes in this doctor who is real thing , is also really intuitive says and went into detail about how and why i give off that same vibe and how she only ever felt it from one person before, but who was that person?

14) were eerily similar in personality / things we say / act/carry ourselves, ideals and beliefs.

15) the dream with the Eleventh Doctor with him telling me “You need to/have to remember me Clara!”... what if instead of the Doctor forgetting, i forgot as he intended?

----------------------------------

This will be part 1 but additional information to add will be in a future part {s} bc i don’t want this one too long.

[seijorhi]

asks :)

guess who crashed super fucking early last night and woke up to a whole bunch of asks? me. it was me.

Hey Rhi, so I just wanted to say how much i love your fics and we are all honestly so lucky you give them to us for free. Every one of your works is amazing and you put so much effort and time in to make them all really quality. I'm sorry some people are being rude like honestly they're requests not demands and you have every right to write non requests or not respond to every request. Keep on keeping on. PS I would be down for more soulmate content if you wanted to do that in the future.

Thank you!! Honestly requests are kind of a double edged sword because I genuinely love writing prompts and stuff for you guys but some people kind of get a bit... rude about it :( but thank you for the sweet message! And as far as more soulmate fics go... we’ll see 😉

okay now I'm wondering which characters got the most requests? and does your post mean you might open the requests for Kita, Suna, Ushi and Sakusa??? 🥺👉👈

Lmao I legitimately went through my requests and tallied them all up and even though you didn’t ask:

1 request - Bokuto & Akaashi, Todoroki boys (yes all of them ya filthy heathens), Kiri & Bakugou, Oikawa, Noya, Yamaguchi, Tsukki, Suga, Bokuto, Overhaul, Atsumu, Shinsou, Futakuchi, Bakugou, Iwa & Oikawa, Semi, Iwaizumi, Coach Ukai, Aizawa & Shinsou, Kageyama & Oikawa, Suga & Daichi, Aoba Johsai

2 - Shigaraki, Tendou, Aizawa, Dabi, Kuroo & Bokuto

3- Kageyama, Kenma, Kuroo

4 - Makki & Mattsun, the Miya twins, Hawks

and you know what? Fuck it. Send me shit - doesn’t guarantee that i’ll write it, but i’m open :)

I got CHILLS reading the InariMnger fic! I was all giddy at first and the more I read, the more that turned into anxiety as it was so FOREBODING LIKE 🏃‍♀️😰 it gave me the same vibe as Home ( Home really made me cold in 35°C weather) but in a different sense like, oh no, oh no way whilst Home was more brrrrr🥶 (my words are failing me right now after reading) but the sentence at the end!!! 👁👄👁 i was 🤯☺️😰☺️ i didn't know how to feel! Also, Atsumu, Suna and Osamu combo was*fan self* 

And I am so sorry to hear people have been shitty to you! There are really some immature people out there sometimes, and I wish I can protect you against them but all I can rlly do is say to ignore them, those kinds of people aren't worth an inch of your time, and you are free to answer and write as you wish. It might not be easy though, I get that. For me, if my Asks inspires you, you don't even have to answer it to my Ask. 

And I'm too scared to come off anon (lmao i dunnoe which direction I want to take my blog yet hahahaha) but if u need someone to bounce ideas around, I'll be happy to let you know my username so we can chat if Asks aren't going to work! 😊 and sorryyyyy I wasn't around for a while!! I lurked but haven't had the time to settle down to really read anything until now, and I was not disappointed 🧠=🤯 - 🦊 anon

oH my god you are trying to make me cry?? You’re the goddamned sweetest! Also, and this goes for everybody, y’all can come slide into my dms and chat whenever. I am very shy and awkward as a human being, but i promise i’m nice. No pressure though, but 

hey dude u r under NO obligation at all to fulfill reqs like do ppl forget u do this for free???? from the good of ur heart n horny of ur soul???? everything u write is bomb i enjoy literally everything u put out n like writing should b fun! write what u wanna!!! (also i do love ushijima so like i sure wouldnt mind if u wrote more for him)

i think some people forget that like... i’m a person, not a writing machine? I love answering requests from you guys - some of the requests i’ve had have been super fun and exciting to write (i will forever be in the debt of the lovely big brain anon who sent me the first gift wrapped prompt) 

and as far as Ushijima goes... i was talking (bein horny) with a friend and the words ‘breeding kink’ may have come up?? and I may have promised her I’d write her some yandere goodness around that concept?? mayhaps?? 😇

hey girl!! i just have to tell you. i was doing work and was super bored and in my head i was like, “hmm later i should call oikawa”... call WHO?? ma’am Bully Oikawa lives in my head rent free, and im not even mad. anyways hope youre having a splendid day ❤️❤️

Bully Oikawa is literal trash and I adore him. This made me laugh though, so thanks for that bby!

Does this give us permission to send reqs? 👀

Yep. New disclaimer that not every requests will be answered (think of it more like a suggestions box??) and that it may take time because i’m a slow ass writer and i’m also writing my own concepts and stuff, but hit me up :)

Oof I saw you’re working on a daichi/suga fic and I think I might have been the one to request that, regardless I’m so so hype to see it 🤩

Ahh I hope it won’t dissapoint!!

I'm never going to get sick of your soulmate fics❤️ Soulmates a a trope I enjoy very much and add in some yandere things and OMG ❤️

listen,,, i will never tire of soulmate things. like, ever. personally it makes me feel extra loved and i adore just about every story that has a soulmate au. and yes, that includes yanderes. 🥰🥰

I speak for everyone when I say that we will never get sick of your soulmate aus. You are such a talented writer, you can publish your grocery list and I would give it 5 stars

I’m answering these three together but W O W i was not aware y’all liked them so much. I’m trying to make sure everything i write is at least a little different, but hey if you guys want it, who am i to say no? ❤️

[askyancy]

A choice...

OOC: Below the cut is extracted from the discord. A certain duo paid Yancy a visit in his time of need.  With this, our trio story is finally all wrapped up in a big bow and tomorrow brings a new story! We’ve been planning it for a while now and can’t wait for you all to take part and see what’s in store! Yancy - @askyancy​ Actor Mark - @actor-mark​ Darkiplier - @markimoojackaboi​

YancyYesterday at 7:05 PM

Yancy hadn't come back to his cell yet, having left Sparkles with Jimmy and Hank, a bit of high alcohol content hooch to drown out the worries. Yancy wasn't much for drinking, instead he'd wandered off... through the nooks and crannies, the holes in the walls and floors. Off to a small secluded and rather secretive location that only he knew of. It was HIS place..... His private hole in the wall. Several floors below the prison and so far away from it all that he could sing to his hearts content and not be heard at all. He'd been down here before.. many times... Yancys-studio was as isolated and alone as he could ever possibly hope for.....

-----------------------------------------------------------------

He was pacing.... Back forth back forth. 7 steps left 7 steps back again. chewing on the end of his thumb. His brain wrought with worry, with conflict. All my fault... This is all my Fault He couldn't stand hearing that Bambam wasn't going to make it. They'd been updated after class. Bambams heart was slowing down... Doctors said it was just a matter of time. Time was all Yancy could hope for now.... More time.. just give them more time and maybe they'll pull through.... It felt surreal and tormenting knowing that there was nothing he could do. Not a damned thing. So he'd pace.... Pace and wear a hole in the concrete floor. The studio was a basement crawlspace of dusty concrete and piping, a support beam stands in the center and the whole little crook sits 2 floors deep beneath the kitchen. The far wall has been fitted with many small mirrors to make up one large dance studio-esque mirror. Not much to look at but it served the purpose. But Yancy wouldn't dare to look at his reflection as it stalked him back and forth across the room. over and over....

The cold basement hide away had almost completely still air, never really changing from part of the room to another. Cold that settled on top of the skin but never penetrating deeper than that. It was dusty. Even if Yancy cleaned it every day it would remain slightly dirty due to it's concrete walls, celling, and floor....

Yancy gave a shiver, the cold of the room prickling but it was more his unstoppable anxiety making his back tense up so much. He paused in his pacing, trying to shift his attention away. Maybe to tumblr? But doing so only reminded him he hadn't even touched it all day... One small post, an update on Bambam.... After he was done he slowly sank against a wall, knees to his chest and just hunched forward a little into them, burying his face to cry alone. He couldn't bare to be up there with the others anymore. Couldnt bare that sight of his own cell or knowing that Bambam's would be empty now. There was no way Sparkles would stay in there alone. Maybe they'd go stay with that Dusty person? He didnt even want to think about losing the rest of his family now Bambam was gone... but what if the gang started falling apart? Tiny was never really interested in any of them, Jimmy and Hank tended to stick together and Sparkles was very different from Yancy, and likely seeing Yancy would only bring up memories of Bambam..... Would he lose them all!?

He slowly pulled himself together and ran a hand over his face, standing back up and eyed his phone again... Maybe he could say hi to the discord folks? They should know too right? Then again he'd alerted the blog. they'd know... He found himself pacing again, the same track...  "You look a little lost, friend."

Yancy whirled around, straight for the exit and paused. .... No one? He spun in a circle, eyes all over the room. Not a soul.  "Wh-......." Had he just imagined it?  "Ohp Don't make yourself dizzy now!"  "Who's dere!?" Yancy growled low, territorial mode sinking in, ready to defend his little hidey hole.  "A friend~"  "YOUSE SHOW YOUSES SELF!"

There was n eerie echo in the room as Yancy's voice boomed out, it seemed to carry more than it should have....

"..... Wow. Angry little Tiger aren't we? " "Sh-shut up... Who are youse?" 

“What's with the weird accent?” "I SAID SHUT UP!.... Tell me who youse is!" "

....................................

 "ANSWER ME!" 

“Oh I'm sorry I thought you wanted me to shut up”

Yancy grit his teeth. "..... Youse just.. leave me alone... I aint in de mood"

Yancy backed up a bit away from the door. 

“Oh c'mon now friend. I came to offer you the help you so desperately need. Don't worry..er.. Yancy was it?”

 "It's Yancy..." 

“That's what I-.... nevermind...”

 "Where de heck is you--" He'd started turning around again but leapt half a mile back when he discovered a man standing directly behind him. 

“Ahaha Oh I'm sorry! Didn't meant to startle you friend!”

 "Wh-How..How did youse-... " His left hand was burning like he'd punched lava. 

“Best not to question the minor details. Just enjoy the ride!”

The man stepped closer and had the most sickening grin on his face. 

“Do you have any idea how long I've been trying to find you?” Yancy started to step backwards, his left fist curling tightly. This guy had the kind of face you just... couldn't trust. Bit of a douche...  "....wait.... y-"

"Oh?” the man grinned, eager to see if Yancy caught on that he'd met him before.  "Youse-.... Youse been looking for me?" Mark's face dropped. Wow what a dumbo. 

“Yes of course. Why wouldn't I wanna find the little "Golden Boy" that everyone's suddenly more in love with?”

".... more?" 

“Ahaha.. not to worry not to worry! We're all friends here at Happy Trails Penitentiary.”

"Yancy shifted slowly into a boxing stance, but kept his fists to his sides for the moment, ready to raise at a moments notice. "Who de heck are youse?" 

“Still talking like that? Youse? Its you. Eesh... Aren't you from Ohio?”

"Sh..shut up" 

“Hold on wait”

Mark pulled a script from his suit jacket and started flipping through it 

“What ending was yours? ... Life Sentence? .... No no....  I want to be free? That was it! Hm... Oh and Dance to the death too. You got a whole three videos how cute. Or was it four?....”

 flick flick.... "Wh-....what are youse even on ab-..." His left hand felt like fire, the skin turning red and he had to shake it off to the side, eyeing the lettering..... "....M... Mark?" 

“Aha! There you are! Took you a while but you got there! You almost remind me of someone ahaha!”

"Wh-....... " 

“Oh don't act so shocked. You already knew I was coming. They went and spoiled everything for you”

"Wh-Who? What? I didn't knows yous...." 

“your discord friends! They spoiled everything! ...Was really supposed to be a surprise but eh... Not like they can see you now.”

"_Yancy went wide eyed "H-.. Youse is on the discord?" 

“Of course I am! Why wouldn't I wanna chat to the wonderful, handsome, famous Yancy! The notorious killer! The brutal violent slaughter tiger! Such a cutie so precious so soft so sweet and so brutal oooof~”

Mark fanned himself and laughed, pacing around the room now. As he walked the floor seemed to change... Concrete turning to wood. Yancy stepped back and away from it, wary to touch it but eventually he ended up pressed against the mirror and unable to avoid it.

"You seem so afraid? Why? Where's all that gusto? All the bravado? the punch and the sweep!”

"Y-YOUSE KNOCK IT OFF"

"Oh calm down Yancy! ... Always the big softie. Youre supposed to be a brutal killer!”

"I aint any o dose t'ings youse callin me!"

"Oh? What about Ma and Pa? What about Frankie? What about-”

"DONT!"

"Oops touched a nerve!”

Mark paced slowly around him like a predator stalking prey. His reflection seemed to shake and show something different entirely.

"Wouldnt want to wake up that killer tiger now would we”

Yancy grit his teeth, stooping down to grab a left over stone from the floor transforming, making sure Mark was too in his own monologue to notice. "

“You're a violent and brutal villain, Yancy. Unlike that Illinois fellow. Or the captain! Both precious angels, heroes! Never did no wrong not to anyone! But you? You've killed FOUR people! FOUR!”

"St-STOP IT!" 

“And yet they fawn over you like a baby... Just like your mothe-”

The rock went sailing right at Mark's face with a fast baseball styled swing, he had just enough time to duck. The rock hit the glass of the mirror, leaving a crack. 

“Oooooooh!!! There it is! Tsk tsk Yancy! You gotta be more careful! Wouldn't want to make it five now would we!”

The mirror cracked and splintered, shards of glass falling to the ground and echoing through the dance space like crystalline wind chimes. It felt like the air was sucked out of the room for a few seconds, almost like an airlock seal breaking. Propped up against the wall was a humble broom that had seen better years. It had stayed in the same place so long that a spider had made its home in the space between the wood and the wall. Without warning, it fell forward, bouncing off the ground like it had been pushed roughly and it clattered with a sound that would be louder and more startling than a mirror cracking.. Yancy jumped and yelped at the crash of the broom. Backing up as far as he could go, his heart racing and his left hand burning like crazy.  "Y-.. L-Leave me alone!" 

“Oh but my dear, sweet, boy! ...... I came to help you~”

"Wh- h..help me?" Yancy's eyes darted to the fallen broom again, his defensive stance faltering, his footwork off, his fists barely tight. Fear gripping him by the shoulders. "I-..I dont want youses help!" 

“...buhuhaha.. You sure? What about poor Micheal?”he paused 

“Sorry.. Bambam. Cute name. Shame Evan and Sarah didn't get to be as involved but that's scheduling for you.”

"Wh-What de hell are youse on ab-.... G.. Go away! I MEAN IT!" 

“Nooooo you doooonnnttt~”Mark sing songed at him 

“Oooh! Nice acoustics in here! aaaaAAAAAaaaaaoooooohh~”

"............... J-...just leave me alone

"Oh alright alright ffffffine. Let Bambam die for all I care. Clearly you dont”

the squeaking sound of glass scraping glass as the mirror cracked just a bit more with every word out of Actor Marks mouth. The reflections seemed to blur and wobble just a bit like a layer of dew began to set in. As the mirror became harder to see through, the edges began to fog up, slowly moving to cover each mirror. The room was cold, unchanging in temperature. But it began to smell... wet. There wasn’t the sound of finger tracing a window, and yet Yancy could see in the mirror next to the mirror that shattered began to have the outlines of a word as if they had always been there.* L I A R

Yancy stared in horror as he watched the actor parade around his little studio. Mark leaned against the beam in the middle, placing a hand on it then watched as it proceeded to get a new lick of paint, slowly flowing over it top to bottom spreading out from where he'd touched. "W-wait..y..youse can..help?" He was watching Mark who..clearly wasn't leaving despite his words. Watching how he was changing his studio to be...better.... 

“We-hehe-ll of course I can!! Why else would I bother looking for you? Can't have previous baby Yancy all distressed now can we!”

Yancy's eyes traced the letters on the mirror that Mark hadn't noticed yet. Was Mark doing that too?  "Y-.........Youse can save Bambam?" 

“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeelll...... Not exactly save BUT! I can bring them back. From what I can tell they're noit doing so hot right now. Heart beat's getting slower. Doesn't have long. I'd say maybe.. midnight?”

"Wh- NO!" Yancy rushed forward, paused and Mark grinned. 

“Course if they die, I can bring them back. No strings attached, no deals, no price, no currency, no favors, no nothing. how about it?” Mark held out his hand.(edited)

There was an eerie chill to the air as it seemed into his bones. The fog on the glass seemed to crystallize and freeze a little more. The mirror on the other side had the word.

C H E A T

But whoever was leaving messages didn’t stop at one.

M U R D E R E R

P O I S O N

F A K E

F R A U D

More and more as they began to clutter the available space. Something odd began to happen. The areas around Mark’s silhouette  became more crowded than the rest while the shadow remained unwritten, outlining him in words. Every single one of them being true. A crack from the mirror seemed to also, somehow, be on the wall behind it creeping below the frame... down almost all the way to the floor. Did he really throw that rock that hard?. Yancy couldnt move now as he watched in horror... Nightmare.. Just a nightmare. He got so many of them! That's all this was. He backed up to the wall singking down it and buried his face in his hands.  "N-None o dis is real.. Bambams fine.. I..I can wake up now.... dis is just..my head... ...m..maybe I am crazy" 

“Hey probably. I get told that all the time and yet it never really is true.... you on the other hand. All those murders? The fights? Eesh... How many times have you had a fight with Y/N now? Shall we check hang on”

Mark stepped forward, digging out a red phone.

"Lets see lets see.. how do we find you again...”

 Yancy was so confused, so stressed, he was shaking.

"Err... kay... guns blazing... chopper... rally... no deal.... aha.. 1,670,655 times! Wow! You're a real monster bucko- Wait what about the kills oooh the dance to the death how many kills now? 623,279 YIKES!”

"Wh-N-No I never.. I never killed dat many! I-I just.. deys was accidents! D-de ones I dids de-deys was-" 

“Oh buddy no no no no nooooo these are all documented on video. aha.. er... not that you'd remember them. You black out right? When the tiger hits. Happens.. time lines.. blahbalh wibbly wobbly. It's fine. Oooh that means we're approaching an ending! How about that! Means you get a choice bucko! Lucky you! So I'll make it simple for you" He held his hand out again 

“Deal or no deal? Green or Red. Left or Right. Take your pick!”

DarkiplierYesterday at 11:11 PM

*The Cracked Mirror launches itself off the wall like someone had fired it out of a cannon and against the back of Mark’s Head. It clattered around, shards splintering out and around his face like a helmet that would slice his cheeks or eyes if he moved too fast. The wall behind him had a large black crack, exactly the same pattern as what was on the glass.

You can say no to him.

Something only Yancy could hear even if he covered his ears. It was more than advice, it was permission. No glass touched Yancy, any that fell almost created a ring around his feet. The other mirrors followed suit, toppling off the wall creating a reflective floor of sorts. Broken glass everywhere, but none seeming to leave the frames. A hand shoots out from one just behind marks back, reaches up and pulls him down to the ground. Hard. The room goes black as soon as he hits the floor. The ringing from all the noise never seeming to fade or faulter. A low echo underneath it... stillness. Quiet. “I think that’s enough.” the man with no shadow said. Standing right under the crack in the wall that seemed.. to give off an unearthly glow.

YancyYesterday at 11:16 PM

Yancy cried out in surprise and fear as the world around him changed and altered again. His poor studio! He was curled up tight when the ringing started but when he saw who it was he quickly scrambled to his feet. Fists curling, not alone any more he could defend himself a bit better... Mark let out a growl as he hit the floor but it was quickly followed by a fondness 

“Daaaamieeeeen! Long time no SEE!”

The world around them pulsed, that red and blue stretching outward.... He'd gotten stronger... He was suddenly behind Dark.

"How long has it been? Two? three? ...... Four videos? ahaha~ Don't mind us, just a little chat between pals”

"M-Mr Ipliere?.... I-" 

“yes? .. huh.. oh youre talking t-.. OH! AhahahahahahAHAHHAHA! Really? Mr Ipliere~ cute”

Mark grinned at Dark viciously, dusting off his suit. 

“Ignore him Yancy sweetie. Your little Bambam doesn't have much time left. it's 11:15″

"Wh not it was just-" Yancy checked his phone still tightly held in hand. 11:15.. where had the time gone?

"You have 45 minutes to make a decision. Are you going to let him die and stay dead or do you want my help?”

DarkiplierYesterday at 11:23 PM

Dark’s image wobbled a bit. But he had gotten stronger too. He walked a little away from him and towards Yancy. “He does bad things to good people.” he said firmly. He looked at Mark. “Filling the mans head with more of your lies all to make his friend one of your little... pet projects. You’re lower than dirt.” he rolled his neck and continued walking towards Yancy. “There doesn’t have to be a war over this… His promise is an empty truth that will ensure Bambam’s demise...But... There is still time…Not much. But mayhaps enough.” He wasn’t in the mood for Mark shinanagins right now. He was a bastard and he nothing short of hated him. But there wasn’t time for petty squabbles

YancyYesterday at 11:28 PM

Mark gave an overly dramatic mock offended look 

O! Hey! I do NOT! Here I am offering this poor distressed man a deal of a life time. I'm here to help his friend from the inevitable fate they're spiraling towards. Look! Barely a beat now! They're hanging onto shredded threads!

 He gestured vaguely to the air as if Bambam was right there, but Dark would see that heart beat too...

"Shake my hand Yancy my boy. It's all you need and Bambam will come back fit as a fiddle

 "I-..." He back up. "I don't believe youse.... b-.... But I- I wanted t' speak wid youse again" Yancy put his attention on Dark "c-..Can youse help with Bambam? B-..before deys ..... before anyt'in bad happens?" he had the most puppy dog pleading look. "Y-..youse helped me before I-... Youse made a deal wid me that.. I collect at any time..w-..what if I do dat fer youse in retoirn?" "

Wait you two have met before?- Ohhhh of course you have, your stupid lil codes ugh..whatever... Doesn't matter. .... How do you put up with the dumb accent? The heck is that from.. New Jersey? Boston?

DarkiplierYesterday at 11:36 PM

Darks neck cracked. As he did, the floor beneath Mark cracked too with a loud boom. “Youre offering a vulnerable, terrified man a deal he does not understand.” he felt the heartbeat of the dying friend and frowned. “Yancy,” he said it correctly, “You are a man behind bars. The information I needed from you has already been used... what more could you have to offer-” he looked at Mark then back at him. “Time is creeping on us. Mark will let Bambam die and raise them. I... can stop them from passing. Long enough...” his nostrils flared. He wasn’t a charity worker. “Its his accent. That’s the long and short of it.” 

YancyYesterday at 11:43 PM

Mark rolled his eyes, childishly doing the mocking face and mouthing a copy of Darks words. 

Yes exactly. I can't stop them from dying but I CAN bring them back. Easy peasy lemon squeeze bish bash bosh hunky dory boom done. No fuss. No mess. No deals. No strings. No bargains. No reason of mistrust what so ever. Why is that such a hard offer to take!? I'm trying to help out a fellow Iplier here! Or is my name tattoos on your hand not a good enough reason to trust me!?

Yancy blinked, then his eyes shot down to his left hand. Still burning ridiculously hot. The areas around the letters felt like theyd blistered but they hadnt. Punching Mark square in the face might help.... "I-...." He frowned. Something about this guy. It felt off.. Bit of a douche.. no.. lot of a douche... The closer Mark got the more his tattooed fingers burnt. Kinda like that harry potter kid. "...Mr Ipliere...y-...youse can help Bambam? I dont..want dem to die at all... not evur... p-please..if..if deres anyt'in youse can do I-... I might be behind bars but I can gets out easy enough!"

"That's ilegal. You could go to prison for that

" "...... I-.. we-...." Poor Yancy. He shook his head "Please.. I-.... I'd do anyt'ing..."

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH no no no no nNOOO you do NOT wanna offer that right off the bat eesh. Make him work for it at least! Besides, you can't trust this guy! He's the villain here! Look at him! all...spooky" Mark wiggled his fingers

" That and have you any idea how much fuss this guy has given me? They burnt down my entire home!

Yancy frowned "Sometimes shit happens.. youse gotta forgive the past" 

I COULD NEVER FORGIVE THEM FOR WHAT THEY DID TO ME!!!!

Marks anger was explosive, the entire room rumbling and the crack in the wall daring to shatter again, it felt familiar... at least for Dark.

DarkiplierYesterday at 11:57 PM

Darkiplier listened, weighing his next move carefully. Markiplier was a terrifying man, but an easy to provoke one. One of those faces you can’t trust. Dark looked like he had done some bad things in his life too but wouldn’t lie if he was asked. “Im -your- villain Mark. You spun that fate for me long ago....” It was his turn to roll his eyes, but somehow it looked more dignified on Dark. “I hardly call an en mass extermination of thousands of undead you had created to serve your bidding is truly a crime. Last I looked, your house still stands.” Marks explosion was enough. “What I did to you.... that’s quite possibly the funniest thing you have ever said. And woefully not my problem.” He looked at Yancy. They held a moment together eye to eye. He had already agreed. And suggesting that he would do anything in return, there’s no better deal than that. The room became pitch black. “Im terribly sorry about your hiding place, Yancy... let’s see what else we can repair this night.” Out of the goodness of a changed heart? For the Iplier name?... spite? His motives were unclear. But Yancy would suddenly feel like he was being pulled backwards gently... slowly away from him. 

ITS TIME TO WAKE UP

-----------------------------------------------------------

Yancy staggered backward with a gasp, spinning on the spot, confused, dazed, looking around for any sig of the two men he was just with... He wasn't in the studio anymore??? What had just..happen-..... Had he been sleep walking? He turned and spotted Sparkles fast asleep on the upper bunk, an arm hanging down. Their pillow wet and clearly passed out from eventual exhaustion. Poor thing.... His heart was racing but slowly he began to relax. Just.... Just a dream? a nightmare? Sparkles was in his cell though so the ...news on Bambam still rang true?..... His own bed was still made and untouched from the morning. So.. no.. He hadn't been asleep.... Then wh-

"Oh... hey! What're you doing awake at this hour?" "Wh- Ah- I was- I-..er.... Bad dream?" Yancy sounded tired enough to make that believable, that and this was often a case so...  "Oh... you ok? you look exhausted buddy" Officer Free wandered closer "Try and get some rest yeah- oh and er- We were gonna save it for the morning but uh- since youre up. .... They took Bambam off the respirators about an hour or so ago? They say they're really improving. Got a good chance and.. might even wake up in the morning. They're hopeful"  "WH- AH!!" Yancy went wide eyed and rushed to the bars, startling poor Gavin who put his hands up to fight -dumb considering there were bars in the way- but Yancys hands going up in surrender had Gavin put his down again 

"so-sorry officer I j- youse..said deys..gonna be ok!?"  "Yeah! should be right as rain mate!" Officer Free grinned, happy to have been the one to deliver the news.  "er but er... maybe tell ole glitter guts the news in the mornin yeah? Poor geezer could use a good nights rest"  "y-..yeah youse is right.. m'gonna..... try n sleep myself" "Lucky" Gavin smirked and they fist bumped though the bars "No sneakin off. I catch you out I'll whap ya- wapow" officer free swung his baton around but it was in jest and Yancy knew this. Gavin was a good officer...  They parted ways and Yancy sat down slowly and quietly on his bunk .... 

Bambam....... 

They were gonna be ok............ 

 But now that meant he had a debt of anything to pay to the Man With No Shadow....

[somnilogical]

they will never be as strong or as fast as i can be

copy/pasted from a convo:

<<somni: ive been exploiting being able to talk about everything vs miri/cfar cant do what i do bc if they did they would talk about how they are evil. it would all chain back.

somni: omg i can just post this to my blog because i can talk about my meta-strategy and it confers pretty much no relative advantage to miri/cfar. because 1 most of them have disassembled their agency so its like talking in front someone who works at the dmv about taking over the world and the ones that have any agency (basically just anna salamon) have to work with and coordinate via brokenness the masses that have and 2 feels secure in the way that saying ill use my soul as my weapon feels secure, like the power of this technique doesnt depend much on people not knowing im using it.>>

truth is entangled and lies contagious. justice is entangled and injustice contagious. in order to sustain their facade, miri/cfar had to chain back to lie about the principles of decision theory itself. lie about the organization structure of cfar, lie about miri's fundraiser. and so much more.

any series of reasoned claims they make will chain back to stuff thats false or injustice, because they seek to maintain a region of untruth and injustice.

so yeah, miri/cfar basically cant talk in public except in staid formalities infinitely pouring the same entropy of "these people are psychotic" "these people are infohazards" "do not read what they write" "stay the course" "everything is under control, do not panic" "i know my associates at miri/cfar, they are good people" "if you talk with these people you may become a rapist". but not actually able to manifest dynamic compute. to explain themselves they built their own personal room 101, filled with miri/cfar affiliates and formed a united front of gaslighting. deluks (author of that one rationalist blog where they worked to read and summarize all the others) talks about the kind of compute miri/cfar manifested:

<<deluks: I also updated a lot based on Bay Area safety discussion

idk if I have ever been in such a hostile environment for anyone trying to discuss making thigns safer

If you wanted to discuss how Anna et all were innocent people would happily chat with you

If you tried to discuss ideas for making things safer either you got silence

or people would be insanely hostle if you plausibly slipped up at all

or even seemed like you might have been not careful enough in how you phrased things

extremely careful -> no engagement at all//even slightly less care -> get dogpilled>>

they have picked up the optimization style of of cops, as alice maz described them:

<<the role of the cop is to defend society against the members of society. police officers are trivially cops. firefighters and paramedics, despite similar aesthetic trappings, are emphatically not. bureaucrats and prosecutors are cops, as are the worst judges, though the best are not. schoolteachers and therapists are almost always cops; this is a great crime, as they present themselves to the young and the vulnerable as their friends, only to turn on them should they violate one of their profession's many taboos. soldiers and parents need not be cops, but the former may be used as such, and the latter seem frighteningly eager to enlist. the cop is the enemy of passion and the enemy of freedom, never forget this>>

i can travel lots of places and regenerate truth and justice.

i can go to a trans support group in the bay and show them logs of what elle said and did and they can recognize the pattern of minority oppression, transmisogyny.

i can talk with uninvolved decision-theorists about why paying out to oneshot blackmail with subjunctive dependence because "In game theory, paying out to blackmail is bad, because it creates an incentive for more future blackmail." is wrong. and why exploiting your subjunctive dependence as a udt agent to not pay out is right. they cant.

--

miri/cfar have to centrally coordinate on lies or they start crashing into each other. independently generating falsehoods in isolation makes them point in all directions.

independently generating and working off of truths allows everything to point in the same direction without needing to communicate. i can write this post and then idk maybe someone im algorithmically colluding with on this writes another post and they dont come out all distorted and skew with each other. this caches out in what looks from the outside as an uncanny ability to start dynamically colluding with people and output distinct strains of philosophy based on shared precepts.

interference with yourself looks like kelsey piper trying to claim that emma and somni are starting some sort of rape cult and anna and miri/cfar trying to claim we are naive victims of ziz's cult and ▘▕▜▋ claiming emma and somni are mindhacking ziz to make her bully them and jade nameless claiming im doing this to get a job at cfar and ...

since they make up their fake coordination points independently they smash into each other. if they want to coordinate over lots of people they then have to work out which of these they want to coordinate around in a sort of market of falsehoods. and have to arrange for it to not contradict any information anything people know. but they dont know all the information everyone knows, and they wont know it even after combing through lots of blogs and reading lots of discord chats.

when they try coordinating on falsehoods like this, its hard to get a coalition together in an environment where what people know is rapidly changing because a bunch of anarchist bloggers keep posting things in a bunch of places on a non-centrally controlled schedule determined by what seems like a good idea at the time to independent agents. and having lots of conversations with so many different people in private and public they cant keep track of them all.

if they try pretending to be dumb and forming a unified gaslighting front in one area. then people will exploit the fact that this is the internet and not the evolutionary environment, take logs and post them somewhere else where everyone didnt collude to be dumb in this particular way. so while their monkey brains get a rush of endorphins from being able to successfully coordinate local humans, what feels like an entire tribe, against the blasphemer, actually they just used their adult intelligence to defeat in front of a bunch of people who dont share their political commitments but who can reason about what is true and what is just.

(of course there are many truths this doesnt work on because of large inferential distance, shared mammalian biases it takes an unusual mind to step over, and shared incentives. but the defense of most regions of injustice and untruth when you ask questions have to keep chaining to more and more absurd things until you are defending causal decision theory or start claiming 'anna salamon, the president of cfar, is not involved in cfar's hiring'. which depend on a social context committed to defending everything that protects miri/cfar and people who dont have the same conclusion-that-must-not-happen can see that its dumb.)

if miri/cfar had committed themselves to the path of expanding agency, maybe i wouldnt be posting my thoughts and meta-process on the public internet. (in the counterfactual where they committed to this path, its likely that i wouldnt be protesting. because it seems actually-hard to stay on the path and remain evil.) but as it stands, i expect this information to differentially help anarchists and do about as much good for statists as explaining updateless decision theory to someone at cfar. its just this inert structure in their brains, they cant do anything strategic with it. they intentionally shut down their ability to take ideas seriously and drive out anyone left who can, calling them crazy.

what they can do is "oh here is a list of people to target" and "see if they said anything incriminating". ive seen their attempts to coordinate enter the attractors of 'authoritarianism' (duncans dragon army, kingsleys "repent and submit to [AUTHORITY FIGURE]") and 'lets all lie in the same direction and disable general cognition to update out of this! the important part is social agreement and that everyone allows social reality to have the final veto on their beliefs. i myself do this so you know im super safe and this is super fair.' (anna and kelsey). this sort of weak coordination based on breaking people can be easily subverted by anything real.

--

if you are actually right, you can exploit useful properties of being right and let that be your asymmetric weapon. such that all that challenge you know they will know its steel. and then people who compute the outcome and expect to lose, dont fight in the first place.

if my chosen weapon were actually the size of my muscles and imposing figure compared to anna salamon as miri/cfar people "believed" (exploiting the already extant anti-transfem psychic suppression field as one of their few functioning coordination points. probably not as functional now after what i have written.), then when i fought people it would create a warp field such that then people with smaller muscles wont fight in the first place, but id be deluged by people with larger muscles. i dont want to create a warp field that summons people with lots of muscles.

if i exploit properties of my souls, of truth and justice. then i have an arsenal of techniques that are stronger if i actually want to save everyone, if im actually right, if im acting for justice. because they exploit useful differential properties of each. and the warp field in higher density summons ... people who care about saving the world, truth, and justice. in other words, a high density of potential allies.

by default i want to exploit "the difference is that im right" not "the difference is that i have larger muscles". i want differential power to push away those who are wrong and unjust and attract those who are right and just into a kind of warp hull.

there are other reasons as well.

[driftinglightofthewoods]

🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️

Send me a “🖊+an OC“ and I will talk about that OC! It can be a headcanon, a fun fact, a small paragraph of backstory- anything!Alternatively, send in just a “🖊“ and I will talk about any one of my OCs at random!

You sendin’ 20 pencils? you gettin’ 20 ocs. You asked for this.

1. Sileves

I love Sileves, I love her big generous heart and how eagerly she accepts friends of her children and her husband as honorary family members. I wish I could talk more about her job as a healer because she takes such immense pride in it and she is what I would want any nurse or doctor to be; so caring and patient and kind.

2. Methenor

Methenor is a soft boi hidden under layers of icy indifference, sarcasm and dry etiquette and I love it. He cares for his family so much ;-; And like I feel incredibly bad for him because no wonder he’s cold as ice when pretty much his entire family left him in Rivendell; His parents sailed, his older sister is who knows where, his younger brother ran for Lothlorien and now his only son left him too.

3. Malgelir

Chirpy social butterfly with a small bit of a “ME FIRST” complex towards her siblings. Malgelir always wanted to get married and have a child, and the fact that she did so before her siblings does make her prouder than she probably should be. Thankfully this isnt out of pure malicious intent because I don’t think she ever had an evil thought in her life.

She also cares so much about her hubby and her son ;-; i cry

4. Rhoscthel

Fun fact I aint got a single clue about what goes into fashion design and yet here Rhoscthel is being a tailor. Send help. Plz. I’m making this up as I go and I just hope nobody notices I’m bluffing my way through anything that takes half a glance at her skill as a tailor.

I also wish I knew how people Actually Flirt TM because Rhos is supposed to be a charming she-elf with bargaining powers that could almost rival Caranthir’s but idk anything about either flirting or haggling. The woes of an introvert trying to play a socially savvy extrovert TM

5. Amathel

With Amathel I’ve been contemplating switching her social status of engaged to married but Amathel kind of has concerns and worries about the act of getting married so idk how to really.. change her status? Like should I just change it or drabble it or..

Like it’s not that she doesnt want to be married to Lagoron, she loves him very dearly, but there’s certain expectations that comes with having a wedding especially as a highly valued member of the Rivendell guard.

Idk I kinda want to dive more into the complex nature of her always wanting to be on top and number one in her class despite the fact that she has a lot of… performance anxiety, I guess you could call it?

She doesnt like to be put on the spot or even necessarily in the spotlight even though she has an ambitious drive and is always looking to improve as a guard.

6. Innith

With Innith I’m kinda having the opposite problem I do with Rhoscthel. I don’t get to use her much because she’s a shy, introverted scholar who would really only want to interact with coworkers and patrons of the library in Rivendell; and unfortunately there’s not a lot of those muses around.

this is very much me asking you to throw Pan at her sometimes I think they could be fun together plz

I’m also a bit sad the one ship I had for her has long since sailed away. F/F ships are so hard to come by.

7. Nethel

You would think I have a similar problem with Nethel like I do with Innith but since Nethel is such a drastically different character I actually dont find it hard to find interactions for her lol. People seem to be rather drawn to her even though she’s brutally blunt. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Nethel is a lot like Feanor just minus the genius linguistic part. 

Plus while Nethel is cooped up in her workshop most of the time she does need to come out and tend to her biological needs like eating, bathing, sleeping, much to her dismay as she has little patience for small talk.

Aside from that I think most of the muns I toss her at are aware that she’s a deeply insecure person under all that brutal facade, and people generally seem to have a little more patience with a character like that? like idk, just something I noticed. 

8. Miston

Honestly without Miston this blog wouldnt exist and I wouldn’t be here to gush about all my characters, so needless to say Miston is incredibly important to me. I feel like he has grown as a character a lot since the beginning of this blog but that he has also remained true to the description I give him in his about section. He is still a character who doesn’t like sharing his feelings and rather deflect them, ignore them entirely or distract you with conversations about literally anything else.

Miston is very near and dear to my heart.

9. Eredhon

Baby. Precious soft child. Eredhon is such a sweetheart and it’s truly thanks to a lot of brainstorming with @legolasgoldy that he has been crawling out of his shell because for quite a while I myself didnt even know all that much about Eredhon.

He is a soft, gentle soul with a lot of deep running emotions and his social anxiety can definitely play cruel tricks on him, but with the right support system he blossoms into a very sweet and devoted friend who will always try to help you through any emotional problems. He’s also a lot more emotionally intelligent than I originally gave him credit for. He’s usually paired with social butterflies (see Malgelir) because he does get those type of characters to kind of.. relent the walls they build around themselves and let him see the emotional struggles they tend to ignore

He’ll also never apologises for feeling his emotions. He’ll apologize for snapping, for raising his voice, for letting his anxiety drive him up a wall and for anything that deserves an apology, but he won’t apologize for feeling sad or anxious or happy or in need of comfort.

10. Calithilon

I’ve been thinking about aging canon Cali up to at least a talkative elfling because honestly because he is so young in canon I haven’t really gotten a chance to use him all that effectively in the main storyline.

Most of Cali’s development comes from modern aus with @hclliish where he’s a teen, dating her Sleipnir (another precious child, just not one of mine lol)Cali takes after his mom in looks and unfortunately for him after his dad in personality, making him a rather shy and quiet person with a lot of insecurities. Being born to two singers makes him a natural singer as well, and his voice is higher in tone than that of his father.

Despite being an anxious teen (because when is puberty ever kind) he does find a lot of comfort in his parents unconditional love for him. They’re a very solid parents-child unit tbh.

11. Lagoron

Another character that I don’t get to use all that much, which is unfortunate because I find Lagoron an incredibly funny and interesting character. He’s a very un-elvish elf, in fact he’s more a hobbit in an elven disguise. While also being a guard, he is an entirely different type than Amathel; where Amathel yearns to be the best and the strongest, Lagoron is a team player who believes in the strength of numbers and strong bonds between guards to drag them through the most difficult situations; and that hasn’t exactly made him the top performer of the class. 

He is however truly the kind of person you want on your team, and in a fight he’s surprisingly endurant and likely to exhaust his opponent by focusing on dodging their power attacks rather than wasting his energy in fighting back.

Always has food on him and will offer it to anyone he feels like stricking up a friendly conversation with. 10/10 good friend.

12. Hinnoron

Hinnoron is definitely more of the tradtional elf. He’s radiant, and ethereal, and pleasant to be around. He also has a natural calmness about him and a certain kind of wisdom. Y’know, typical Tolkien Elf TM stuff.

Hinnoron gets interesting when you dive into his deeper relationships. His relationship with his eldest sister is on a very low pit, and the one he has with Methenor has definitely taken some blows. When Gelwenil left to follow the stars, Methenor got rather clingy towards Hinnoron, who felt suffocated in return.

Hinnoron left for Lothlorien, and to this day regrets that he abandoned Methenor when Methenor was clearly struggling with the departure of their parents and their sister. While they have mended their bond since, this kind of guilt does seem to creep into his relationships with Haldir ( @thehiddenhero ) and Oropher ( @oropherrrrr ) He often doesn’t tell them when things about the relationship upset him and bottles his emotions up to an unhealthy degree, all because he fears of upsetting their feelings or even damaging the image they have of him if he’s not the perfect, ethereal and unconditionally supportive partner. For someone who gives love so easily and unconditionally, he seems to have a hard time believing that the love he receives doesn’t come with the condition that he has to be a perfect lover or it’ll be revoked.

Someone plz teach him that he’s allowed to have needs and that he’s allowed to have those needs tended to.

13. Gelwenil

Ah yes. The lost one. Well no, not lost, she knows exactly where she’s going but nobody else does. Gelwenil honestly never meant to upset Methenor or Hinnoron when she left to follow the stars. Like Methenor was definitely struggling when his parents left for Valinor, but in retrospect Gelwenil left several years after that. Maybe not enough for him to have healed and moved on, but I don’t blame her for thinking that with his wife, children and their youngest brother Methenor would have enough of a support net to justify her wanting to explore the skies.

Gelwenil is an avid believer in the power of Varda, and also deeply respects Tilion and Arien. Any type of celestial Maia can be expected to be treated with the deepest respect from her.

Out of all my characters Gelwenil deserves the most TLC tbh I feel like she’s underdeveloped compared to everyone else because I dont use her a lot.

14. Faerveren

Uuuugh I miss Faerveren so much. Mistons second cousin twice removed, and probably the only person to ever leave him flabbergasted and when Miston is the voice of reason in a duo, you know somethings up.

Faerveren is also an interesting character because with her I wanted to present the idea of people assuming you’re always emotionally fine as long as you’re physically strong enough to be virtually invincible.

15. Nengelon

Local edition of the “I’m so fucking done with this shit I don’t get paid enough to deal with” club, together with Feren and Lindir. Nengelon tends to fall into an elven variety of Welsh when he runs upset with the leader of the Sabaid elves, and just about no one knows what he’s saying.

There’s also the implication that he basically ran away from the Riunnag (waterelves, maybe related to the Teleri through distant blood but sources (ie me) dont confirm that yet so its just rumors) tribe he belonged to because of his secret romantic ties to said leader, but Nengelon doesn’t speak of his romantic outings to anyone so it’s just a rumor.

16. Braigon

Ah, big, bulky, burly, 7 foot something Sabaid leader Braigon. Rides a grizzly bear as a warmount, wields a gigantic twohanded battle axe, and is an absolute terror on the battlefield… when he bothers to get his tribe of warrior travelers involved. Braigon tends to stroll around like he owns the place, because not many dare to defy this mountain of an elf.

Maybe thats why people are so bewildered when 5′9 sized Nengelon curses him out on his bullshit in some incomprehensible tongue they don’t know.

Braigon is actually a pretty solid leader of a tribe where elves can pretty much do as they please as long as they do their job as either warrior or provider (finding food and other supplies) outstandingly. The Sabaids aren’t a big tribe, there’s only a couple hundred of them, but they make for fantastic allies… but only if you can manage to convince Braigon to risk any of his people in any given war; and he usually isn’t concerned with fighting the battles of others for them without a good reason. 

 17. Bereneth

Bereneth is an interesting case. An accident between a Sinda lady and a Noldo refugee, at a time when those relationships weren’t exactly accepted after the reign of destruction left by the line of Finwe. (I like to believe thats something that took a generation or two for elves to get over dont @ me.)

Because of this, Bereneth was relentlessly bullied to the point where as soon as the oppertunity rose, her mother left for then newly settled Rivendell. Being under the rule of Elrond, she figured her daughter would be safe there. Bereneth remained there and bore three children to Carandolon and sailed to Valinor when their daughter in law was pregnant with her first child

18. Carandolon

Chieftain of a squadron while Greenwood was under the rule of Oropher, Carandolon was a bright eyed and wanderlust filled soul, born to two fullblooded Silvan elves. When on a mission to Rivendell, where he had to accompany a diplomat, he saw Bereneth and for him it was love at first sight.

When the mission was over and he returned to Greenwood, he immediately requested to be dismissed from his chieftain status and to be allowed to move and live to Rivendell.

A reckless and bold move, and it did take him a while to woo Bereneth, but they ultimately fell in love, got married, and had three children. He sailed with his wife when their daughter in law was pregnant with her first child

19. Nemiron

The missing link that connects Miston to the line of Finwe. Nemiron is the bastard son of Írimë and an unknown father of Vanyarin descent. Nemiron lost complete vision in his right eye when the healer tent he worked at got raided by the enemy in that war; and he threw himself as a shield between the blade and the wounded soldier it was aiming for.

During the war, he was usually found in the company of either Finrod or Edrahil, as he needed help to adjust to his new lack of depth perception. Sometimes during that same war, he left to settle in Lothlorien, where he met the weaver apprentice Dillothés. They married and moved to Rivendell as a position for an experienced healer was open there, and they had their family there.

Nemiron remained in Rivendell, despite yearning to sail, for the sake of his only daughter, and he ultimately sailed for Valinor when she was pregnant with her third child.

I havent decided if the power of Valinor heals Nemiron’s injury, but if it does (and I doubt it), it would do so only partially. His right eye will never be 100% functional.

20. Dillothés

The third and last born daughter of her parents, Dillothés worked as a weaver’s apprentice in Lothlorien before moving up to becoming a weaver of her own, selling her selfmade fabrics to tailors and others interested and making a comfortable living out of it

She became infatuated with Nemiron, who was often found in the library studying Lothlorien native herbs to aid in his small healer practice. After she learned of his injury she never backed away from him once, and helps and supports him to the best of her ability. This remains the case when they went to Valinor and whether or not he partially heals from his injury