#this bitch just buried a man’s body & she’s like…. my cousin who I ran away with is looking kinda fine tho 👀

[juniperhillpatient]

so far the plot of this book is “what if we ran away to fake our deaths, narrowly escaped being eaten by a shark, killed a man & buried his body…. & we’re both girls 😳” (the book is called “dead end girls” it’s so good so far)

[stevesharrlngtons]

picking out the stitches.

roman godfrey x reader 

summary: after letha’s death; peter’s departure; shelley’s disappearance; and a brutal fight with subsequent break up with roman; you escape to the empire state for college and a fresh start. though, after thinking you have been given the space to move on with your life, your father’s unexpected death sends you back to hemlock grove. there, you are forced to confront the reason for your pained departure.

word count: 14.1k (oopies)

warning: mentions of an abusive father

a/n: this is a long bitch, with a possible part two (?) if this is enjoyed by you all! (: i hope the length of this makes up for it taking so long lol. also prob ooc roman bc i love him just being soft 

please if you read this and like it, know that feedback is greatly appreciated and i’d love to hear any thoughts you have!! also im bad at editing 

Tuna, turkey and swiss, BLT. 

No option offered sounded particularly tasty. You had come in search of egg salad sandwich, a surprising delicacy from the Hemlock Grove Grocery Deli that you had been craving since your departure months ago. It felt like comfort food, a way to make being back in town bearable. 

But the stockboys seemed to be sending you a message: there was no good reason to be back in town, and no sandwich was going to remedy your pain. 

“(Y/N)?” 

You flinched at the sound of your name as sweat prickled the back of your neck. The last fucking thing you wanted was to be recognized the second you got back into town. Being forced to interact with any of the waspy bitches or rednecks that attended your high school, especially now, seemed like a personal affront punishable with only your meanest of glares and most backhanded of compliments. 

But, who you found had called your name was not only a surprise, but a pleasant one. Not a bitch or mouth breather in sight. 

“Peter?” Your eyebrows perked up as you said his name, no doubt unable to hide your complete shock at his sudden appearance. 

“In the flesh.” He smiled. That same boyish smile that he always gave especially when you needed to see it. 

Your body worked on it’s own violation as you shot yourself at him, wrapping him in a tight hug. He thankfully returned the gesture, gripping the fabric of your dress in his fingers to keep you close. Peter pressed his nose to your temple and you buried yourself deep into the crook of his neck. It wasn’t until a voice cleared behind you that the two of you pulled apart. 

“Excuse me,” A man holding a wire basket interpreted, seeming less than pleased to have been forced to witness your reunion. 

“Sure, after you, sir.” Peter said, theatrically waving the man past. 

“Stupid fucker, couldn’t even go through another aisle.” He watched the man leave with a scowl.

“Shut up about inconiquestional people and tell me what the hell you’re doing back in town!” You said with a wide smile while slapping his chest playfully. 

“I think that’s a better question suited for me to you, don’t you think? Last I heard you fucked off to N-Y-C.” Peter said, leaning against the display of sandwiches. 

“Yeah? And who told you that?” 

“Destiny.” 

You smirked and rested your shoulder against the display, “She’s got a big mouth.” 

“Big mouth? Who cares if she does! New York is a big deal. NYU, even bigger.” 

You roll your eyes at the compliment. 

“Hey, no, I’m serious! You always were the scholar out of us. Fucking valedictorian while Roman and I barely managed C’s.” He continued. 

At the mention of Roman, you sucked in a sharp breath through your nose, eyes breaking from Peter’s only long enough for him to see your pain at his name. 

“You still haven't answered my question, you know?” You said, trying to seamlessly change the subject, fiddling with the ends of your hair to keep your hands busy. 

“Yeah, well, it isn’t a happy answer.” 

“Enlighten me anyway.” 

Peter gives a heaving sigh, a signature of his, “Lynda got pinched for some shit and was transferred out here... I followed.” 

Your heart sank. Lynda had always been exponentially kind and understanding. To you, Shelley and even Roman. 

“Shit, Peter. I’m so sorry. How’re you holding up?” You placed a comforting hand on his forearm. 

“As well as I can given the circumstances. I’m staying with D, so at least that’s good.” He gives a forced smile. 

“I’m glad you’re with family at a time like this.” You drop your hand and slouch against the display, matching his relaxed posture. 

There was a brief pause between the two of you, before Peter spoke again. 

“Usually, when one party enlightens the other, they are obligated to do the same.” He leans in ever so slightly to emphasize his point. 

“That is usually the deal, yes.” 

“So?”

“My dad croaked a few days ago. Heart attack.” 

“Holy shit, (Y/N/N),” Peter interrupted, face falling into a concerned frown. 

“No, no. It’s fine. He was a piece of shit,” You shrug. 

“Still, he was your dad.” 

“Yeah, he was my dad who hit me and my mom and loved booze more than either of us.” 

“He still was your dad, (Y/N).” He reiterated. 

You purse your lips and sigh.

“I know, but that doesn’t mean I have to be all fucking weepy about the whole thing.” You say, grabbing a turkey and swiss from the display and pushing off to walk toward the register. 

“No one said you had to be,” Peter appealed as he followed behind you, “But don’t let everything get all clogged up in there.” 

He motioned to his chest and you roll your eyes, setting your sandwich on the conveyor belt for the cashier. 

“I promise you, the moment he is six feet under I will let all my emotions out. Mainly rejoice and relief.” You sent Peter a smile as your sandwich rang up. 

“Four forty, even.”

You reach into your purse, but Peter beats you to it. He hands the cashier a crumpled up five dollar bill. 

You give him a glare, “You didn’t have to do that.” 

“Of course I did. It’s gonna be my lunch too.” He snatched the sandwich from the bagging area and saunters to the exit, leaving you to gather the nickels and dimes. 

Parked in a gravel parking lot looking over the lake, you and Peter sat in the cab of his tow truck. Both eating a half of the mediocre turkey and swiss while sharing a warm cherry Coke from the center console in silence. After a brief session of catch up on your lives over the past few months, you were both happy enough to just sit quietly in each other's company. Simply enjoying the comfort of being in the presence of someone you love. 

“You ever hear from him?” Peter spoke up, mouth full of bread and slimy meat. 

“Who?” You at least have the decency to cover your mouth as you spoke. 

“You know who. Don’t make me say his name, you got all squirly last time.” 

You sighed as you finish chewing the food in your mouth, savoring what you could of the cheap flavors as you avoided Peter’s gaze. Once you swallowed, you took a long gulp from the Coke can before answering. 

“No. He’s been out of my life since that night. Really prefer to keep it that way, too.” You replied clippedly, not wanting to talk about him any more than necessary. 

Peter belows a raspberry in response. 

You looked over to glare at him, “What?” 

“I just find that hard to believe.”

“That I don’t want to see the man who broke my heart?” You snap. 

“No, that Roman has been able to keep his distance from you.” 

“I thought we weren’t saying his name.” You abruptly look away and out the windshield once more. 

“Apologies.”

“You don’t have to sound so sincere about it.” You scoff. 

“What happened between you two, anyway? Before I left I could practically hear wedding bells.” 

“Destiny didn’t tell you?” You press your lips together firmly, hoping Destiny had just made up a lie on your behalf to tell her cousin. 

“All she said was that you and Roman supposedly got into this huge fight and you left a few days after. Nothing more, nothing less.” He explained. 

“Yeah, well huge fight is an understatement.” 

“Then what happened?” 

You sigh deeply, reclining against the headrest and wrapping your arms around your middle for some misplaced search for security. 

“It happened a few days after you skipped town. It was his birthday…” 

Music echoed around you as you placed gentle kisses along the expanse of Roman’s neck. You ran your fingers through his hair gently, collecting grease and pomade on your fingertips and under your nails as you did. He had an arm securing you tightly to his side, the other had been holding you too, but he had retrieved it to light a cigarette. 

After the traumatic week you two had undergone, you didn’t fight Roman much when he insisted all he wanted to do for his eighteenth birthday was drink, watch a movie and have you sleep over. You were happy he at least let you buy him a cupcake to commemorate the day, but wouldn’t see to any more festivities. He told you that now more than ever wasn’t a time to be merry. You didn’t blame him, no matter how much you wanted to celebrate him today. 

So, you let him share his birthday cupcake with you in the bottom of an empty swimming pool and hold you in an uncomfortable lounge chair for as long as he wanted. Fortunately, this was as calm as you’d seen him in days and you hoped that continued; at least until midnight. 

Roman lulled his head on top of yours and placed his hand on your hip, making sure every part of you that could be touching was. 

The sound of a door opening resounded in the distance and the distinct tap of heels on tile followed. You felt Roman deflate next to you as you both recognized who the sound belonged to. 

In sauntered Olivia, in a beautiful floor length gown with a sparkler in hand, painting patterns in the dark with the fire illuminating her wicked smile. 

“Happy Birthday, my darling.” She chimed, looking down at the both of you. 

You and Roman both shifted under her unwelcome gaze, neither responding. You turned further into Roman’s neck and you felt his fingers press harder into the flesh of your hip. 

“It can’t be a party with just the two of you, can it?” Olivia said, dropping the sparkler to lay by her side. 

“Well, three’s a crowd. So if you’ll excuse us.” Roman waved his hand that held his cigarette dismissively.

“One is the loneliest number, but two can be just as bad.” Olivia replied in a musical lit. 

Again, neither of you respond. You busy yourself fiddling with the collar of Roman’s tank top.

“(Y/N), darling, you do look beautiful tonight.” She turns her attention to you after the silence she received. Something Olivia knew Roman disapproved of her doing. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Godfrey.” You reply politely, glancing at her briefly before going back to Roman’s shirt. 

“Is that the dress Roman bought you some time back? I remember hearing you tell Shelley about it over dinner.” Olivia continued. 

“What is it that you want, again?” Roman snapped, making you flinch at his volume increase. 

“I have a surprise for you. In the attic.” She gestured using what’s left of the dying sparkler at the ceiling. 

“Can’t it wait?” Roman said, wholly disinterested. 

“No, it cannot, Roman. It is your birthday surprise and I would like to give it to you now.” Her voice became more stern by the word. 

Roman moves to look at you and you do the same. His eyes are inviting you to a conversation Olivia isn’t privy too. An almost psychic communication you’ve had together since the day you first met. 

Do we go with her? Or wait her out until she leaves? 

Just see what she wants. Once she’s shown you we can get back to doing whatever you want. 

Roman pursed his lips before letting out a dramatic sigh, “Fine.” 

He got up from the chair before offering you his hand to help you up. 

Olivia watched as you both climb the ladder out of the empty pool and onto the landing. 

“Let’s get this over with.” Roman gave his mother a firm glare. 

He placed a hand on the small of your back and started for the door when Olivia stopped him. 

“I’m afraid, this gift is for Godfrey eyes only.” She looked at you with weakly masked distaste. 

You felt Roman’s fingers once again probe into your skin, “She is a Godfrey.” 

“Not in name or blood.”

“But she will be so it doesn’t matter.” Roman retorted, harshly. 

This wasn’t the first time he had alluded to your future together, and at the time, you didn’t think it would be the last. 

“Well, she isn’t yet, is she? When she is, then she will be welcome to engage in all Godfrey birthday present exchanges.” Olivia sneered.

“There is nothing you could show me that she can’t-” You placed a gentle hand on Roman’s chest before he could continue. 

This fight certainly wasn’t worth it. Especially not over a fucking birthday present. 

“It’s fine. I’ll wait in your room.” You offered. 

“Off the premise.” Olivia chimed in curtly. 

“Excuse me?” Roman spat. 

“(Y/N) can go home and see you tomorrow. This gift needs much explanation and discussion.” 

“This is beyond fucking ridiculous!” 

“Ro, it’s OK. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You smile up at him. 

You didn’t want to leave him. Not now, not ever, but never with Olivia. 

“I’ll see you later tonight.” Roman stressed.

“Tomorrow would be-” 

“Let’s just call it a see-you-soon, then?” You cut off Olivia, never taking your eyes off Roman. 

He just tightens his jaw, so tight you’re afraid he might crack a filling. But he nods. 

“Fine. I’ll call you.” He says. And he says it with such sincerity that you know without a doubt he will, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

He kisses your forehead and you kiss his cheek, not overly keen on giving him the proper goodbye kiss you wanted to infront of Olivia. As you walk away, you spare Olivia a last glance and the look on her smug face is one so self satisfied it made your stomach churn. 

Roman never called you that night, or even the next morning. The calls you gave him were left unanswered; texts and voicemails the same. 

You would have called Peter, Shelley or Letha to see if they’d heard from Roman at a time like this, but all were depressingly dead ends. 

Under the circumstances that you left under the night before, you took it upon yourself to drive to the Godfrey residence and find out what the hell was going on yourself. You didn’t trust Olivia as far as you could throw her, and you didn’t put any heinous act past her. 

Your worry beat out any common sense you had to stay away and wait for Roman to come to you. 

When you arrived and knocked on the door, several times to be exact, it seemed no one was home. Though, both cars were in the driveway and you knew neither Roman or Olivia would take a cab anywhere. With balled fists you slammed against the wood of the door, kicking your foot against it as well for good measure. You had been in your knocking rhythm so long, when the door finally opened you stumbled forward. 

You caught yourself on the knob and looked up to see who answered. 

Roman stood above you with expressionless features and down turned lips. 

“What?” He asked. 

“Don’t ‘what’ me! ‘What’ you! You never called and you haven’t been answering.” You said, straightening yourself out. 

“You’re not my fucking keeper,” Roman scoffed and turned his back to walk down the hallway. 

Your face screwed up in confusion as you stepped over the threshold into the mansion and slammed the door, then followed him through the house. 

“Excuse me? What is up with you?” You exclaimed. 

Roman had stopped in the kitchen, rummaging through the refrigerator while trying his best to seem unbothered with tense shoulders. 

“Nothing is up. I just didn’t want to call you.” He spoke into the crisper drawer. 

“Since when?” 

“Since now.” 

“What the fuck did Olivia show you? Must have been really messed up for you to be acting like this.” You let a humorless laugh through your nose. 

“Or maybe I was just happy to be rid of you and now that you’re back, I am pissed.” He slammed the door to the fridge, its contents rattling inside. 

Your surprised expression hadn’t wavered as Roman glared at you, his eyes dull and unfamiliar. 

“Ok, so, yesterday you’re talking about marrying me, and today I am some parasite you’re happy to be rid of? Is that right?” You took a step toward him. 

“I was never going to marry you, you delusional whore.” His first real hit, chipping away at your weak armour. The armour he had weakened himself with his love and care for years. 

“If I’m whore, I’d hate to know what that makes you.” You spat. 

“It makes me the fucking billionaire who mistakenly kept around some boring girl with a mediocre cunt.” His second hit. 

“Wow. You’re right, Roman. I am a whore, but I must be an idiot too! To stay with such a man who calls my pussy mediocre when he can’t even fuck me right.” You provoked. 

“Fuck you.” 

“Yeah? Why don’t you? Because for as long as I can remember I’ve been faking my orgasms just to get your pathetic little prick out of me. Is that why you cry after Roman? Because you know about that weak excuse of a dick between your legs?” 

You were being cruel and frankly, spinning lies. But he was hurting you and you wanted to hurt him back. 

“No, I cry thinking about all the other guys you let between your legs. Maybe that’s why daddy hits you, huh? Hoping that one day he hits you hard enough to rattle that whore brain so hard it kills you? So he won’t have to live with the shame? Or maybe he hopes if he hits you enough you’ll finally drop to your knees and show him that head everyone in town talks about.” The last hit, and the one that broke you. 

You close the last few steps between you and strike him as hard as you can muster across the face, cranking Roman’s head to the side with the impact. The slap rings loudly through the room, so do your sniffles. 

“How can you be so cruel? How could you ever say that to me?” You scream through tears. 

“Just speaking the truth.” Roman said smoothly, his head still rotated. 

“What is going on with you? What happened last night?” 

“I came to my senses, that’s what happened. I realized that I was sick of wasting all my time on a miserable little bitch when I could be out fucking real women.” He says through gritted teeth, “Real women who don’t need so much tedious validation from me.” 

“Are you done?” You snapped, your throat thick with tears. 

“With you. Yes.” 

You couldn’t think of anything else to say. Malicious words spun in your head, ready to fire off your tongue and tear him apart, but you knew you would never be able to get them out in one piece. You would stutter and sob and shake and it would give Roman even more satisfaction at seeing you crumble. So, you turned on your heel as fast as you could, holding your hand over your mouth to silence your cries and fled the Godfrey home. 

“Shee-it.” Peter said, looking sick. 

“Shee-it, indeed.” You nod. 

“So, that was it?” 

“That was it. I was there barely five minutes when it was all said and done… then I went home, cried my stupid eyes out and packed my shit. It was always the plan for me to do online courses and stay here with him, but, y’know, things changed... So, I left.” 

“I know that feeling.” Peter says, giving the river a thousand mile stare. 

“I know you do. Let’s not forget you abandoned me, too.” You said, far more harshly than intended. The topic of the break up having brought old wounds to the surface. 

A pained expression crossed his face, “(Y/N)... Fuck, I’m sorry. I am. I just… after Letha,” 

“You don’t have to explain. I’m sorry I snapped. I forgave you the minute you left, for the most part, anyway.” You shrugged. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” You sigh and look over at him, “If I had been in your shoes I would have hightailed it the second I could have.” 

He offers you a sad smile, “But you needed me, and I left.” 

“It’s really OK. Because you’re here now. And it all worked out.” 

“New York that good, then?” 

“Better than good. I’m alone and broke-.” 

“And that’s better than good?” He chuckles.

“Surprisingly, yeah. I’m learning and figuring things out on my own. I’m finding things that make me happy without having to worry about anything else. It’s just nice.” You smile as you speak. 

“That makes me happy. Man, it really does. All I ever wanted for you was happiness. I thought I had left you with the silver you had left of it.” Peter says, resting his temple to the head rest. 

“You did what you had too and so did I. I’m sure Roman did too, in his own twisted way,” You reply, “I don’t want to focus on the past anymore. I am purley looking forward to the future from now on.” 

Peter dropped you off at home after hours of milling around the streets of Hemlock Grove in his truck. You kept asking if he had to go back to work, but he would dismiss your concern each time. Telling you that he was spending time with you and he’d worry about towing later. As much as you knew you should pressure him to take you home, you were happy for the company, especially when that company was Peter. 

His reappearance in your life was unexpected, but wholly accepted and appreciated. You didn’t know the next time you’d be able to see him again, so you were going to enjoy his companionship while you had it. 

Hopping out of the truck and brushing residual crumbs from the turkey sandwich from your dress, you shut the door. The window rolled down and Peter leaned over the console to look at you.   

“Don’t be a stranger.” He smiles at you and you can’t help but return it. 

“Never again.” 

“If you have time, come by Destiny’s before you head back up north. I know she’d love to have dinner.” He proposes and your smile widens. 

“I’d love that, I’ll keep you posted.” You start to back up toward your front door. 

“And let me know if you need anything, anything at all. I know losing someone is tough.” His smile falls slightly as the funeral is mentioned again. 

You knew Peter was worried about you and he had good intentions, but he didn’t know your father like you did. You were going to this thing for appearances and to make your grandmother happy, if you had had a choice you would have rather stayed at school. 

“Got it. Thank you, Peter.” 

You wave him off and you watch as he double takes to look at you until he is out of sight, only then did you enter your house. 

The house isn’t much and it wasn’t the home you grew up in. When your mother finally left your father, she promptly moved you both into a smaller place on the west side of Hemlock Grove that was better suited for your new family dynamic. 

It was a dated burgundy one story, with bland beige carpets and no overhead lighting in the bedrooms, but with two bathrooms. That was helpful down the line when your mother began dating again and her multiple suitors would stay for weeks at a time. You never wanted to be alone with any of them, so that meant crossing the boundary into her room to use the en suite was always out of the question. 

Your bedroom was somewhere you always found solace and comfort, even now it felt more like home than anywhere in the world. It had a small excuse of a bay window that looked out over a small and shallow creek. One of your mother’s more involved boyfriends had built you a window bench years before underneath it, upholstered in red velvet. You had run your fingers over the soft fabric so many times, certain places were now rubbed raw and threadbear. 

Roman used to sit on your bed while you sat on the bench, reading to him from a litany of novels, some for pleasure and some for assignments. He’d look at you and tell you the light from the window haloed you like an angel. You’d tell him he was just talking out of his ass to get you to stop reading and fool around. Then Roman would smirk and shrug, like he wasn’t sure who was more right. His memory seemed to be etched into every detail of your bedroom, unfortunately. 

There was the small heart he had carved into your headboard with an unclicked pen, your initials carved around it. There was your small Ikea vanity, that was stained with nail polish from the time Roman insisted he could do your nails better than you could. There was your closet, just big enough to hold you both inside; where you would steal kisses when you first started to sneak him into your room at night. There was the faded paint on the wall in the shape of a rectangle, where a picture frame of you and Roman at your first homecoming together had once been. There was your fucking duvet cover, that you and Roman would hide underneath on bright mornings. Where he’d hold you and kiss you softly, whispering sweet affections until the muggy air between you became thick and he’d push your noses up over the edge of the blanket to take in giggling gulps of breath. 

Roman Godfrey had left painful reminders of himself everywhere. There were too many for you to erase fully. His memory was like a Hydra, repress a recollection of his and two more would pop into your mind in its place.

Now, all the bench held your small suitcase that you had packed early this morning for your short trip down to Pennsylvania. Just some toiletries, a few changes of clothes, a black cocktail dress and a few textbooks. Just because your father died didn’t mean your school work would lighten because of it. 

While it wasn’t very late, you had been up early to catch your train and hadn’t expected to be out all day with Peter. You excused your premature exhaustion and decided it was best to take a shower, have a snack and then go to bed. Tomorrow was to no doubt try your nerves, so a full night's rest was likely your best option. 

After your shower, you slipped into a pair of pajamas and went down the hall to see if your mother had left you any suitable food. She was still on vacation with her current boyfriend and wouldn’t be able to make it back until Monday, a full day after you were set to leave. So, all you could hope was that there was something edible left in the pantry. 

Tussling your damp hair in your hands, you padded through the kitchen to try and make something with the odds and ends your mother had in stock. 

As you settled on a half eaten bag of tortilla chips and a jar of salsa, there was a knock at the door. Your mother’s car was missing from the driveway and anyone who would drop by unannounced knew she was out of town. Assuming it was a solicitor or a package delivery, you ignored it and continued on with your pre-bed snack. But the knocking didn’t let up. 

Begrudgingly, you made your way to the door in the hopes of shooing off whoever was bothering you. Though, when you opened it, you debated simply closing the door like it nothing had happened. To just shut the door tight and pretend that you hadn’t seen who was standing on your doorstep. All six feet four inches of him. 

With his back to you and a large bouquet of roses in hand, Roman glanced over his shoulder when he heard the door open. He looked about as startled as you felt when he laid eyes on you. 

“(Y/N).” He blurted out, his body swiveling like an owl to face the same direction as his head. 

“Roman.” You gave him a forced smile, cursing that you had lost your opportunity to run and hide.

“I, uh, well, wow. I, these are for your mother,” Roman whipped out the bouquet from behind him, “I heard about your dad. I just wanted to see how she was holding up. I know they aren’t close or anything, but y’know, it’s still the father of her child.” 

You took the flowers from him carefully, making sure to avoid where his fingers lay on the stems. 

“She’s not here, but thanks. I’ll make sure to let her know you stopped by.” You continued your kind facade before moving to shut the door. 

But Roman was quicker as he placed a large hand on the wood to keep it ajar. 

“I’m sorry for you too, you know? I know how it feels to lose a father. So, I’m sorry.” He said, like he was trying to keep you in his company as long as possible. 

“Wish my dad would have eaten a bullet when I was a kid. You got lucky.” You joke, once more trying to shut the door. 

And Roman continued to keep it open. 

“Well, I know things ended… bad- But! I’m still here if you need me. For anything. Have all the preparations been taken care of?” He asked. 

“Yeah, my grandma and grandpa took care of it. Nothing to worry about. But thanks, Roman.”

Roman’s eyes widened and his mouth puckered, the way he always did when he had a million things to say and no idea how to say them. 

You began to notice his attire as he loomed over you, with no seeming intention of leaving you or your front stoop alone. 

He wore a thick winter coat over a black three piece suit, tailored to perfection. His hair was parted on the right and smoothed down with gel. It certainly wasn’t your favorite look on him, but your input hardly mattered anymore. He wore Oxford dress shoes that were spotless and without a crease. You realized just then that he must have come right from The White Tower to bring the flowers to your mother, and these were his work clothes. These were the clothes and fifty dollar haircut of a fresh faced CEO.

You had known that he was set to secede the throne of Godfrey Industries once he turned eighteen, but you never gave it much thought after you moved to New York. The Roman who haunted your dreams and took residence in your thoughts was always your Roman. The boy who wanted to smoke and dance and kiss and laugh. Not a business tycoon out for blood. 

“I didn’t know you would be in town. I would have stopped by.” He said, finally finding words to give him a reason to stay. 

“You already have.” 

“I know, but I would have made it more deliberate. More to see you and not to just give my condolences to you mother.” Roman explained, his hand still on the door. 

You snort, “Yeah, well I don’t know why you’re giving her flowers anyway. She doesn’t like you. Not after I told her everything.” 

“Yeah, uh, I didn’t know that.” He laughs uncomfortably, finally taking a step away and relieving your door of his hostage. 

“Well, it was nice of you to come by. I’ll see you around, Roman.” It was clear from your tone that this incommodious conversation was over. 

Though, Roman still was outwardly ignoring your brusque attitude, “Could I come in? I would love to catch up for a moment? For old times sake?” 

“I don’t know if that is such a good idea.” 

“I won’t be long, I promise.” He bargained

You watched him for a long moment, debating on what to do. On one hand, you craved his presence. You craved him after just one sighting and wanted him to come in, to talk, to listen, to heal. Because like you said to Peter in the car earlier, you did believe that Roman had done what he had for a reason, it was just no doubt a fucked up and selfish one. You couldn’t hate him forever, you didn’t want to. It would destroy you before it did any good. 

On the other, all you could do was hear his voice echoing in your mind, explaining his disgust for you. 

But, you wanted to look to the future. You wanted to free yourself of the burden of grudges and hatred. You wanted to forgive Roman, the best you could, and leave him and his faults to fester in the past while you moved on with your life. 

So, you pushed the door open wider with the tips of your fingers and walked back to the kitchen, while Roman eagerly followed. 

“I’ll have to find every vase in the house for these,” You quietly joked.

“I could buy a big vase to hold them tomorrow and send it over if you’d like?” He was following closer than you would have liked as you searched the cabinets for vases and empty jars. 

“No, it’s alright. I think I’ll like how eclectic they’ll look in mismatched glasses.” You said, “And then I could put them all around the house. It’ll be a nice surprise for my mom when she gets home.” 

You undid the thick satin ribbon holding the bouquet together and found a pair of scissors to cut off the ends.

“Want me to fill these with water?” Roman asked, nodding to the empty vases.

“If you don’t mind.” 

Roman nodded, shedding his wool jacket and blazer, depositing it on a chair. Then, rounding the island to stand next to you to begin filling each receptacle from the sink. 

He was closer to you now than he had been in months. You could smell his woody cologne that clung to his skin, mixed with cigarette smoke and the night air. He must have been driving with the top down. You hated that only his scent could send your heart into somersaults and make your hands quiver with need. All you could think about with him in such a proximity was looking up into his green eyes and him looking down into your (Y/E/C) ones. Looking down at you with that stupid fucking smirk. Then with that smirk, Roman would place a hand on your cheek and gently press it to your lips and you would be in heaven. 

Anything Roman did to you was heaven. 

Expect when he was hurting you. Which you had to remind yourself, he very much did. 

“So, where’s your mom?” Roman asked, placing a mason jar next to faux crystal vase.

“In Florida with her new boyfriend.” You commented. 

“Yeah, I heard she was seeing someone.” 

“You know if he’s any good?” 

“Nah, just that she was seeing someone. I keep an ear to the ground to make sure she’s doing alright.” Another glass filled. 

“You don’t have to do that, Roman.” You paused cutting stems for a moment to glance up at him. 

He was already looking at you. 

“I know. I want to. It’s the least I can do.”     

You hold eye contact for a few beats, Roman’s eyes boring into yours in that hyponic way that always left you weak in the knees. 

“Well, thank you. I appreciate it.” And you both went back to your tasks at hand. 

It was obvious that you were more than willing to work in silence, and it was clear that Roman wasn’t. 

“So… how’s NYU?” He prompts. 

“Good. I really like it.” 

“Enjoying your studies?” 

“Very much.” 

“And the city? Is it treating you alright?” 

“Yes, I think after I graduate I’ll stay for a while.” 

Roman only hums in reply. Like that wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“Well, I’m happy to hear that you’re doing well.” 

“Thank you.”

The conversation lulls as the sound of water and sheers fill the room. 

Roman is chewing his cheek and bobbing his head, and you know he won’t let up his chatter anytime soon. 

“I’ve been working at The Tower. I took over a few months ago.” He says, eyes darting to you like he was looking for praise. 

“Oh,” You reply like you hadn’t already figured it out, “How’s that going?” 

“Fine. I mean, it’s a lot of work. A lot of stress, but I’m glad I’m doing it.” He sounds unconvincing as he rambles on about Godfrey Industries and Pryce’s lab while you focus on the flowers. 

“Do you ever wonder what you would be doing if you hadn’t been told your entire life that you would take over Godfrey?” You ask, somewhat out of the blue.

Roman stops talking abruptly, his hands pausing under the tap. 

“Not really.” 

“Isn’t there anything else you would have wanted to do? Like in a dream scenario in a perfect world?” You elaborate. 

Roman seems unsettled by your questioning, like these were things no one had ever asked him. Things he had never even asked himself. 

“I think in a dream scenario, I would be rich beyond my wildest dreams. And I already am, so why waste time dreaming?” You can tell he isn’t even satisfied with his answer.

You don’t reply, leaving the subject where it lay in the air to go back to working in silence. 

“So...” Roman begins again, refusing to let the conversation die down.

“You seeing anyone?” Roman tries to sound blase, but you know this question lays heavy on him. 

You barely withhold a scoff as you set your scissors down to look at him once more.

He double takes in your direction, not wanting to look at you for fear of your answer, “What?” 

“I’m just surprised you held off this long without asking the question we both know you wanted to ask the second you saw me.” 

“Not really an answer…” he murmurs. 

“Not really your business.” You counter. 

“So there is someone?” You could hear a twinge of anger in his voice. 

“Not that it is any of your business, because I want to stress that it really isn’t, but no. I am not seeing anyone.” 

“Oh.” Roman’s lip twitches into a smile that he tries to conceal from you. 

“Yeah, oh.” You roll your eyes and finish with your clippings and begin to arrange the rose into glasses. 

“Aren’t you going to ask me?” Roman, with his work now over, turns to look down at you, a smirk on his lips. 

“Ask you what?” 

“If I’m seeing anyone.” 

“I don’t care, Roman.” 

“Really?” He leans closer to you.

“Well, what constitutes seeing someone, to you? A one night stand? A hooker? An actual multiple date relationship? What is your definition?” You jeer. 

“How would you define it?” 

“Different from you.” 

“Oh come on,” He pokes, “Tell me.”

He was becoming far too chummy with you for your taste.

“I guess I would define it as multiple dates.” 

“By that definition, then no. I’m not seeing anyone.” 

“But if I defined it by hookers and one night stands?” You inquired. 

Roman doesn’t answer. 

You can’t help but laugh, “And you said I was a whore.” 

The air between you changes, then. It was calm, if not slightly awkward before then, but now it felt tense and uncomfortable.

“(Y/N), I…” 

“Don’t.” You reply before he can say anything else. 

“But I want to say this, I need to.” Roman persists, reaching out to grab your shoulder. 

You shrug off his advance quickly and take a few steps back from him. Roses and vases completely forgotten. 

“I need to apologize to you.”

“You need to apologize to me for what, Roman?”

“For that night, what I said-!” Roman starts. 

“No. What I mean is, are you apologizing because you’re actually sorry? Because you think that’s what you’re supposed to say to me? Or because you want what you did off your conscious?” You raise a single eyebrow. 

“Are you kidding? I’m saying this because I am fucking sorry! I hate what I said to you, it fucking eats me up!” Roman throws his hand in the air as he yells. 

“So it is option C.” You replied. 

“Jesus fucking- no! It’s not! It’s A! It’s fucking A. You think I wanted to do what I did? Huh? You think I wanted you to leave?” 

“Yes, I did. I do.”

“Then fuck you if you think that. Fuck you if you think that I wanted to say all those things. Maybe you don’t really know me at all.” Roman sneers. 

“I already concluded that.” 

He scoffs.

“Is this why you wanted to come in? Force me into conversation? Ask me if I’m dating anyone, give me a half assed apology and insult me?” You crossed your arms. 

“No! No, that’s not why I asked to come in.” Roman shot back. 

“Then why?” 

“Because I fucking missed you, alright? I fucking missed you and I needed to be near you, even if only for a moment.” 

Roman’s voice echoed in the kitchen, his words hanging in the air and ringing in your ears. You could hear them dance in your mind and slide down your back with a chill, taunting you and making your emotions tear in a million different directions.

“Roman, I think it’s time for you to leave.” You say, running your tongue over your teeth. 

“No! I’m not fucking leaving. Tell me you don’t miss me too.” Roman took a step toward you as he ran a hand through his slicked down hair, ruining it’s perfection. 

“I have to get up early, so I just really think you should go.” 

“(Y/N), tell me you don’t miss me and I’ll leave right now. You’ll never see me again, I swear.” 

You don’t respond, just cross your arms over your chest. You rub your hands over the skin of your arms, peaking your fingers beneath your shirtsleeves and gripping the fabric tightly. 

“Just tell me.”

You meet his gaze as Roman closes the gap between the two of you. He was close enough for you to feel his breath on your skin and the warmth he radiated. An unwarranted chill set through you. 

All hope of forgetting the past and moving on was gone, you didn’t care anymore. All you wanted was for Roman to leave. You wanted him to leave so you could wrap yourself in blankets and cry until you couldn’t see anymore.

“Roman, just go.” You whispered, your vocal chords straining to even do that. 

“It’s because you can’t say that you don’t.” Roman raised a hand a single finger tracing the features of your face and causing your eyes to drift shut. 

He traced your orbital bone and the angle of your nose and your eyebrow and ear. He traced your jaw and your chin and the shape of your ear and stopped to caress your lips. 

With each swoop of his finger tip, he was erasing hurt and anguish and pain. He was soothing you and giving you an old form of intimacy that you had craved. He was regaining his sense of self in your mind, reminding you that he could act like he had before that night. He was twining his roots back into your mind.

When his finger finally stopped, you opened your eyes and saw tears had gathered in Roman’s. They were threatening to breech from his lash line as he stared at you with a drumming heart. 

“Tell me why you hurt me first.” 

And Roman dropped his hand and said nothing for a long moment. 

“It’s a long story.” He replies, sniffling loudly through his nose. 

“I’ve got time.” 

“It’s not pretty.” 

“I don’t care.”

You had moved to the dining room for Roman’s story. You both sat on opposite ends of your mother’s old mosaic table that you had both eaten many meals at. It was covered in vintage tiles and you picked at the surrounding grout as you listened to him. You ground your fingernails between the titles, filing them into powder as Roman told you about his birthday and everything that had happened since the night you left him. 

Of Letha. Of the child. Of the razor blades embedded into his arms. Of his mother’s tongue. Of the bloodlust. 

Of the loss.

“This is some fucking Twilight bullshit.” You said once Roman had gone quiet.

“This isn’t fucking funny, (Y/N).” Roman replied, bouncing his knee and pinching his chin. 

“No, it’s not fucking funny at all, Roman. Not even a bit, but it is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life.” You snort a laugh from your nose. 

“You don’t believe me?” 

“Oh, I believe you. After all that shit with Peter, of course I believe you. Doesn’t make it any less ridiculous.” 

Roman raises his eyebrows in understanding with a slight nod. 

“So, what? You saying all that shit to me was because you thought you were going to suck me dry, or something?” 

“Stop making jokes.” He growled. 

“I’m being fucking serious, Roman! What was it?” You stood from your chair to impose over him. 

“You deserved better. It would have been too much for you.” 

“Oh, don’t be such a martyr, Roman!” You fumed, “Since when have you ever got to decide what was good and what was bad for me?” 

“You don’t understand!” Roman pushed up from his chair with such force it tumbled to the floor, “I could barley fucking handle this, OK? I had been living a lie, I had become a monster overnight! I was fucking scared for you- scared for me. What I could do-” 

His voice began to quiver and his palms shook as he wiped his clammy palms on his slacks. 

“You would either have left me or I would have killed you. I don’t doubt that for a second, and I couldn’t lose anyone else. Not after Letha, not after Peter and Shelley. I just couldn’t.” 

“So, pushing me away was the answer?” You asked. 

“At the time, yes.”

You just shook your head, and collapsed back into your chair.

“I did it because I loved you.” Roman said, tears streaking his flushed cheeks. 

“Stop, Roman...” 

“I fucking loved you so much so I made you leave. I fucking love you more than anything.”

He spoke like he was taking his last breath and collapsed to his knees like a dying man, his bones smacking loudly against the linoleum as he crawled to you, tears still leaking from his eyes. 

“You have to believe that I’m sorry. I am, I am, I am.” 

Roman rested his head on your lap as he wept, his hands clutching your calves. 

You felt like you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think or speak. All your mind could comprehend was Roman’s deep and encompassing sadness and his wayward soul. 

You could barely grasp the story he told, so it was unimaginable to you how it must have felt to live it. Your heart ached for him so profoundly. 

Of course you didn’t agree with what he had done to you, not for a moment. He had resorted to cruelty out of fear and you hated it. It was inexcusable. 

But, you folded yourself in half and covered his body with yours anyway, and let Roman cry in your lap. You let him cry out the fear and sadness and the exhaustion he had felt these past months. 

You had let Roman cry himself dry before escorting him to the door. He held your hand on the way and you didn’t stop him. When you reached the door, Roman was the one to open it and step out into the cold Pennsylvania night. Though, his hand stayed intertwined with your own as he walked out onto your porch.  

“What time is the funeral?” He asked. 

“10 AM.” You replied. 

His skin seemed to glow against the night sky, his milky complexion contrasting beautifully to the dark nature behind him. 

“I’ll be there.” 

You shook your head, but squeezed his hand, “You don’t have to, really. It’s going to be long and boring.” 

“(Y/N),” He looked at you with a crisp sincerity, “I’ll be there.” 

You didn’t know what to say, because you weren’t entirely sure what you should say. You wanted to beg him not to come and make a spectacle at his attendance. You wanted to beg him to come and hold your hand and ward off the demons your father had sewn into your psyche. 

“Please, Roman, it’s not a big deal. I swear. I’m sure you have better things to do.” 

He pursed his lips back at you, like he was deciding if arguing with you on the matter was really worth it. Or if he would win or not. In the end, he said nothing. Just nodded and glanced over to his bright red Jaguar in the driveway. 

When Roman looked back to you, you both knew a goodbye wasn’t needed. Your love-telepathy coming back just for a moment to bid each other adidu for the night. An intimacy you didn’t even know you missed until now. 

Roman was the first to step away, pulling your hands apart as he did. You felt each finger detangle from his own, until your pinkies were the only things tethering you to each other. When they detached, your hand fell listlessly to your side and Roman watched you intently as he walked to his car, got in, and pulled from your drive away. Only looking away when he finally drove into the night. 

You smoothed the dress over your hips as you smiled politely at guests entering the church. They offered you watery smiles and condolences as they spread out into the pews.

You wanted to spit in their faces and scream. Scream and sink your nails into your skin and tell them that he had painted bruises on your skin and installed his hatred for you into your heart before you were old enough to know it was wrong. 

He wasn’t a good man. He was far from it. 

But no one who was crying tears for him and shaking your hand knew this, and if they did they didn’t care. He was good at hiding what he did, what he had become. 

You felt like your head was in a fish bowl with the more people who entered. Their faces blurring and distorting before you, their words muffled and useless. You began just nodding at everyone’s words, refusing to listen to anything else they had to say about Heaven and God’s good will. You wished you had a good excuse to leave and never come back. 

It wasn’t until someone wheeled in the casket that you found your escape from the line of mourners and made your way outside. Because the second you laid eyes on the box of shiny mahogany, your stomach dropped to your feet and bile threatened to spill from your lips. 

The man you had hated your entire life, the one who had hurt you, the one who struck you, the one who had belittled you, the man who hurt your mother. That man was dead. He was in that fucking box, seperated from you and the living by a few inches of wood.

That man was your father and he was supposed to love you and now he was filled with stuffing and had waxy skin covered in blush and a heart that would never beat again. A mouth that was sewn shut and would never speak again. To never yell, to laugh, to tell you he loved you. 

It was over. 

Then why were you so sad? 

Maybe Peter was right... maybe you’d even tell him. 

As you made your way outside, you sucked in as much fresh air as your lungs could take. You let the cold air chill your exposed skin and the grey skies calm your overstimulated senses. While gulping in the breeze and pressing your fingernails to your palms to ground yourself, you gazed out over the parking lot. It was then, that you shed your first tears of the day.

Because there, all in black leaning against his car was Roman Godfrey, looking right back at you.

He’d come. 

Because he cared. 

Because he loved you. 

You didn’t think twice as he ran down the church steps as fast as your heels could take you to him, needing to feel him. Roman did the same, rushing across the asfalte to you, wrapping you in his arms immediately as you collided with his chest. 

“You came,” You sobbed into his button down, “You came, you came, you came.” 

“Of course I did.” He cooed, nuzzling close to you. 

“I needed you and you knew and you came.” 

“I’ll always come, even when you don’t call.” 

As you both went back to the church, Roman stood with you to greet people coming in. His hand on your lower back and his grandiose stature and expression keeping people from dawdling too long to speak with you. 

The service was bleak and full of lies, but you mustered through it without a scoff or outburst for your grandparents sake. Roman sat next to you the entire time, his arm over your shoulder and his temple resting against your head. He’d occasionally place a gentle kiss to your hairline or stroke his fingers over your arm as a reminder that he was with you. 

And you loved him for it.

When it was all over and your father’s casket was being rolled away, everyone dispersed. Some to follow the hearse to the graveyard, some to just go home. You and Roman stayed in your seats. You had decided you didn’t want to see your father put in the ground. Not because he didn’t deserve it, but because you couldn’t handle it. You weren’t sure exactly all the reasons why, maybe Peter would know the answer to that, too.

You both waited until no one was left in the church, just watching the sun gleam through the stained glass windows at the ceiling and enjoying each other's company. 

“You alright?” Roman asked once he was sure everyone was gone. 

“I don’t know. I’m still figuring that out, I guess.” You said with a half hearted shrug. 

“It’s OK. You have time.” 

You gave a nod before leaning closer to him, resting your head underneath his own, letting Roman sit his chin on your crown. 

“I thought I would be overjoyed when this day finally came… but I’m not. I’m not really happy and I’m not really sad. I’m just here.”

“I think that’s just fine.” Roman replied, rubbing gentle up and down your arm. 

“Thank you for being here.” You remove yourself from under his chin to look at him, “It would have been so much worse without you.” 

Roman offered you a soft smile and placed his unoccupied hand on your cheek. 

You placed your own hand over his and shut your eyes, reveling in his soft touch. 

It was so quiet and all you could hear was the sound of your heart in your ears and Roman’s rhythmic breathing.

“What now?” 

“I’m not sure,” You open your eyes to see he’s already looking at you, “Where are you going?” 

“Wherever you are.” 

You smile, “Then take me there.” 

As you walked through Roman’s front door, you tried to hide a frown. The old Godfrey mansion had been so intricate and full of character. With crown molding and warm golds and rich browns, and history in every nook and cranny. Roman’s new home… it was sterile and bland and grey. It felt cold even with the hum of the radiator. It felt large and imposing, much like it’s owner. It was the type of home that echoed with loneliness.   

“So, what do you think?” Roman asked from where he stood close behind you. 

“I like it,” You said, “It’s very…” 

“You hate it.” 

You turned to face him and he was looking at you fondly. 

“I wouldn’t say hate. Just, not my style.” 

He nods and takes a step forward, “Yeah, I sort of knew you wouldn’t like it.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You always loved the old house. Said it felt like you were in a  victorian novel.” 

Your heart fluttered in your chest at his memory, “And you always hated it.” 

“I wouldn’t say hate. Just, not my style.” He grins at you and you can’t help but smile back at him. 

“So, you decided when you moved out you’d make your new place the antithesis of it?” 

“Something like that. Anything to erase the memory of my mother.” Roman says this with the cadence of a joke, but his eyes darken at the mention of Olivia. 

“I can’t say I blame you.” You reply before he quickly changes the subject. 

“Have a seat and I’ll make us both a drink,” He says, gesturing toward his large loveseat in the living room. 

You do so, and as you sit down, you admire him standing over the wet bar. He had shed his blazer from his suit on the kitchen table, and through the fabric of his button down (an expensive silk blend from the looks of it) you could so the movement of his broad shoulders and the expanse of the muscles in his back. 

The memory of running your hands across the peaks and valleys of his back stuck you. The memory of his smooth skin under your palms made your fingers burn with yearning and twitch with need to reacquaint yourself with the velvet that was Roman Godfrey’s skin.  

Roman had finished making your drinks. Both crimson in crystal tumblers. He walked to you and handed you the beverage, which you accepted with a thank you. As you took your first sip of your drink, you couldn't help but smile as Roman sat down next to you on his couch. 

“Vodka cranberry?” 

“Like I’d forget your favorite drink,” He says, smiling against the rim of his tumbler, “Well, second favorite. I don’t really have the ingredients for a Long Island iced tea.” 

“I think this works better under the circumstances, anyway. Drinking a Long Island iced tea after a funeral feels a little morbid.” 

“Yeah, but your dad would’ve hated that you were drinking one.” Roman pointed out. 

You chuckled, because he was right. Your father hated drinks where the alcohol was masked by chasers and sugar. He deemed them feminine and embarrassing for anyone to drink, ridiculing anyone (no matter their gender) if they ordered one. 

“That is true,” You take a pull from your glass, “He would have hated that you went to his funeral, too. Because, well he hated you.” 

Roman gives a wide smirk, “I can’t say that doesn't bring me some joy.” 

You could count on one hand the number of times your father met Roman during the years you dated. Though, everytime he had, he made his distinct dislike for your boyfriend overwhelmingly obvious. He thought of Roman like most other people in town did. A spoiled, rich, entitled, sauve asshole. But, for your father, he felt like he had a personal stake in hating Roman. He masqueraded like he didn’t like Roman simply for dating his daughter, but he didn’t give a shit about you or your well being. Your father, the pathetic drunk that he was, was threatened by Roman more than any man you had ever met. He was the one person who he couldn’t intimidate and feel superior too, because Roman didn’t feel intimidated or lesser to anyone in the world. 

“Me too.” 

You both drink in silence for a moment, and you pretend not to notice Roman as he inched closer to you on the cushions. 

“Do you remember,” Roman says, swallowing a gulp of his drink, “that time we snuck into that club in Philadelphia? And you and Letha, just got, like absolutely abliderated on Long Island iced teas?” 

You smiled at the memory, your lips parting with glee the more you remembered about the night. 

“Yes! Oh my God, I had totally forgot about that.”

Roman had paid off some bouncer to let the three of you into some club downtown and it had been a spectacular night. You and Letha were guzzling drinks like it was the end of the world. Roman was only encouraging your recklessness with jokes and bankrolling the bottomless teas. Letha had danced on the bar top while singing you an off key Elton John song while you drunkenly squealed with glee in a hysterical Roman’s arms. You had never seen Roman laugh so much until that night. 

You all danced and drank and laughed and smiled. You had all hid in a corner as you had fished out cocaine from a baggy with your pinky nail, and held it to each Godfrey’s nose like you were giving them communion, before blessing yourself. 

You distinctly remember hanging off Roman like a kola most of the night. Giving him sloppy kisses and groping him in the crowd with whispered promises of more when you were alone. You remember him smiling down at you and always having a hand on your ass. You remember Letha’s happy screams and giggles and how she was twirling so much on the dance floor she tumbled. 

“That was a really good night.” You said. 

Roman nodded, “It was. It was one of those rare times I could get Letha out of her shell.” 

The mood dipped from happy memories to grief as his cousin's untimely death was remembered. It was written clear as day on Roman’s face that he was far from healed from her passing.

“I miss her, too.” You placed a hand on his. 

“Yeah. Life isn’t far, huh?” You saw he was trying to ward off a wash of emotion, not wanting to wallow in her death, because it wasn’t an easy pit to push himself out of. 

“No, it really isn’t.” 

If life was fair, Olivia would have been long deceased. Roman wouldn’t have ever been coerced to do any heinous acts. Letha would be alive. Shelley would have never vanished. 

You didn’t dare bring up his missing sister to Roman, because that pain was almost worse than the wound Letha’s death had inflicted. For the both of you. 

You had learned from Peter the previous day that Shelley was still missing with no leads in finding her. You had nodded but said nothing else and he had let you. 

You had always been close with Shelley. She was so kind and sweet, and incredibly understanding and thoughtful. You were the only two women Roman truly loved and that bonded you in a way, to be the only ones to have his unfettered devotion. The thought of Shelley, out in the world alone, scared and labeled a fugitive made you sick. You couldn’t think about it for long without your nausea sparking and tears forming in your eyes. 

“What I said to you… that night? That wasn’t fair either. It wasn’t fair of me to hurt you like that.” Roman says, his eyes cast down. 

“Roman, we don’t have to do this again. It’s fine, no worries.” You said as casually as possible. 

“No, but it really wasn’t,” Roman shakes his head and rotates his body toward you. 

“I said those things because I was scared, not because they were true. You have to know that.” 

You swallow thickly and nod. Rationally, you knew that was true. After Roman had explained to you yesterday the reason for his vicious one-eighty toward you, you knew that he was only being cruel to push you away. But the words still hurt, they were still brutal enough to feel like there was an ounce of truth to them. 

“I was wrong, I can see that now, yknow? I was really wrong for all of that,” Roman lamented, “I fucked up.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). That’s what I really want to say, what I really want you to know. And you know me, probably better than anyone in the world, maybe even more than I know myself,” He huffed a laugh, “And you know that I don’t apologize. Because I’m not wrong. I’m just not. I don’t say I’m sorry, not to anyone… but this, I gotta own up to. Because I was wrong for hurting you, pushing you away.”

You listened to Roman with baited breath. 

“You were the only person who ever really saw me. Looked into my eyes and saw past the bullshit and accepted me, loved me… and the idea of you hating me forever killed me, fucking killed me so much. But it was better than you sticking around and seeing that all that bullshit was true, and maybe I was even worse.” 

“Roman,” You rasped, gripping his hand tighter, your fingernails biting into his skin. 

“I promised to never hurt you, to protect you, keep you safe. And I failed.” 

Roman had always been protective of his loved ones. He hoarded them like a dragon with gold, prowling in front of them with bared teeth and spitting fury. You still remember the first time he pledged his devotion to you, his undying protection and loyalty. 

It was after the first time he had met your father. A dinner at the Godfrey mansion with your parents, Olivia, Shelley, yourself and Roman. It was an evening requested by Olivia to meet the parents of the girl who had bewitched her son. 

She had been her typical elitist self, turning her nose up at your middle class parents with joy. You were sure she was vibrating in her seat with happiness that she could feel so superior to your average parents. Likely hoping Roman would see this too, and kick you to the curb. 

You mother had been aimable, mostly quiet. You always thought of your mother as a very charming woman, who could talk to anyone no matter the circumstance. But, Olivia would barely let her get a word in, so she took the hint. Though, you could tell Shelley liked her, and that warmed your heart. 

The night’s conversation was dominated by Olivia for the most part, regaling the Godfrey wealth and stories of her privileged life. When she wasn’t boasting about herself, your father would be the one to chime in. Either with an offensive comment or with his poor table manners. It was like having a wild boar in the Shangri La and you felt your face heat with consistent humiliation. You could see your mother twitch uncomfortably across from you whenever he would act, and you knew she was in the same boat. 

You were already planning your apology to Roman when your father spoke up. You had been too busy stewing in your mortification to follow the conversation being had at the time. 

“Well, I tell you something, Roman. This one over here,” Your father stuck his fork over to you, “Isn’t gonna be a good little wife, not like your mother is.” 

Your father threw a smarmy grin to Olivia.

“You’re gonna have to wipe her into shape. Always wants to back talk and cross her damn arms and stomp her damn feet at you.”

Your father laughs and nuges your mother with his elbow, like he had made a joke. Like he thought this joke about you as Roman’s meek little wife would please Olivia and your boyfriend. 

Olivia laughed along and made a comment about her predisposition to wifehood because of her upbring, while Roman seethed. You could see his jaw flexing and hear the sound of his ragged breaths through his nose. You discreetly placed your hand on his lap, doing your best to calm him, but it did nothing as your father continued to make comments about your disrespectful personality, all with the cadence of a joke. 

“Why don’t you go out for a smoke?” Roman said to your father through gritted teeth. 

“Excuse me?” You father said, stopping mid sentence and glaring at Roman. 

“I said, why don’t you go out for a smoke and cool off? And when you come back, be a little fucking nicer?” 

Roman’s eyes bore into your father’s as he spoke. Your father looked furious at this teenage boy’s demand, and you were sure there was going to be a fight. Both men were incredibly hot headed, that this evening might even end in a physical altercation. But, your father just pushed up from the table and left the five of you in awkward silence. Roman relaxed once your father was gone, taking your hand from his lap and intertwining your fingers together on the tabletop. Your mother soon struck up a conversation with Olivia about the antique chaise lounge in the living room. 

Roman held your hand for the rest of the night. When your father returned, he stayed silent. 

When it was time for your parents to leave, Roman offered to drive you home. Though, the minute both you were out of sight of his home and your parents, he pulled over.

“Roman, I am so sorry about-” You began, but Roman stopped you by placing his hands firmly on your cheeks. 

“Don’t apologize. Not for that fucking man.” He said, his tone turning venomous when he mentioned your father. 

“The fucking nerve of him,” Roman spat, his hands tightening on your face, “The fucking nerve of him to speak like that about you. And to me! To me in my fucking home. I’m going to kill him, I’ll fucking kill him.” 

Roman spoke sincerely and you wondered for a moment if you asked him to kill your father, would he? 

“He’s not worth it, he’s not even worth your anger.” You sighed, placing your hand on his wrist and stroking his skin with your thumb. 

“He isn’t worth shit. That fucking cunt.” 

You couldn’t help but giggle as you watched your boyfriend speak obscenities. 

“What?” 

“You look very sexy when you’re this mad.” 

You could see Roman’s face visibly relax. You knew he was still angry, but your comment had placated him.     

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” You grinned at him and began to lean in for a kiss when Roman stopped you. 

You looked into his eyes again and you saw this serious demoaner was back. 

“I will never let him say anything like what he said tonight to you again, OK? Never. I’ll never let him fucking touch you again,” Roman came to rest his forehead to yours, “I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again. I will keep you safe forever.” 

And you believed him. You believed him more than you had ever believed a single person in your life. There wasn’t an ounce of you in that moment that could argue with him. You trusted him fully. 

“Ok.” Was all you could say with the emotion that was brewing from his confession, before he finally pulled you to his lips. 

It was the first time you realized you loved him. 

“All I have ever wanted is to keep you safe.” He said it with the same vigor and sincerity that he had in his original vow to you in his car on the side of the road. 

And again, you couldn’t help but believe him. 

“I forgive you.” You really did. 

He was swathing you with the salve of love and honesty, healing the wounds he carved into your skin with his earnest. 

“You were scared, you had just had your life turned upside down… I get it. It’s OK. I’m not blameless either. I said some nasty things.” 

Roman looks up from where your hands are connected and gives you a signature fierce stare.

The weight of his gaze on you feels heavy as he leans forward to set his glass on the coffee table. His eyes never leave yours as he does. As he moves back to the couch, he uses his movement to his advantage to seamlessly reach out to cup your jaw, as he settled back next to you, much closer than before. 

Goosebumps bit across your flesh as the feeling of his broad palm engulfed your face and his breath began to fan across your lips. Roman was smooth, he was graceful and agile in everything he did. Everything including the set up to a kiss, especially a long awaited and important one. 

Roman glides his middle and forefinger up to cradle your ear, to anchor himself to you before using his thumb on the underside of your jaw to tilt your chin. You blood was rushing loudly through your ears and all you could think of was him as Roman’s other arm came to rest across the back of the sofa and ecase you in his arms. He ran his tongue across his bottom lip before he descended for yours. 

And you felt euphoric. A warmth in the pit of your stomach that only Roman would kindle.

Roman nuzzled his lips against your mouth, the tip of his nose brushing your own. Your hands migrated to lay purchase on his shoulders as you let Roman pull you impossibly close to his body. You could feel his heated cheeks against your face and you could feel his racing pulse beneath your fingers as he tipped your face up and opened his mouth into the kiss. His tongue dipped past your lips and you accepted him with a soft whimper. 

Your sound of pleasure surged Roman on as he began to kiss you harder. Sweeter. Messier. Hotter. Just like he always had. 

Soon, you were flat against the couch cushions, Roman above you as his hands explored your body. Your legs bracketed his hips, pushing the heels of your feet against the tops of his thighs to keep him snug against you. Your hands clutched his back tightly, the very same back you had been craving to get your hands on since you walked through the door. 

Roman’s lips detached from your own to drift to your cheeks, your jaw and your neck. To bite, to suck and lick with his sinful tongue. You keened and moaned at his attentions, your back arching into him. The spit he left in his wake met the air in a chilling exchange that cooled your fiery skin. 

“My baby,” He said to your skin. 

“My girl,” He groaned. 

“Mine,” He bit the junction of your neck and shoulder. 

“Mine, mine, mine,” 

You didn’t want to be present while listening to his possessions. You wanted to let them grip you and own you and continue to make your stomach flutter. You didn’t want to have to tell Roman right now that you didn’t know if you could be his again…

“You’re mine, always, always, always,” Roman moaned against you, his voice pornographically seductive. 

“Yes, please,” You didn’t know what you were begging for, but you just knew you didn’t want the feeling of Roman to stop. 

“It’s me and you, we’re together again, it’ll all be OK now,” He says before giving you another sloppy kiss. 

“Be with me, be here. We can make it work.” 

Roman goes back to attacking your neck with his petal soft lips, but you were finally snapped from your the haze of pleasure he had accosted you with. 

“Roman, hold on,” You pushed your hands on his shoulder, “Stop.” 

“What?” He pulled away from you quickly, chest heaving as he looked down at you. 

He looked so boyishly innocent. His lips flush from kissing and his once perfect hair askew from your ministrations. Eyes wide and questioning. He was the most beautiful man you had ever seen. 

“I,” You took a pause, “I can’t stay here, Roman. I just can’t.” 

He looked like you’ve shocked him, stuck his finger in an electrical socket and watched. Roman pushed himself further up, but still hovered over you. 

“What do you mean you can’t stay?” He says your words back to you like they were a personal affront. 

“I live in New York now, that’s where my life is. I can’t just leave.” 

Roman’s jaw flexes and you watch him swallow. 

“What? So, this means nothing?” He gestures between your bodies. 

“No, of course not. Of course it means something.” You replied hastily. 

But, Roman was already getting up off of you and started to pace the length of his kitchen. You pushed up to watch him with concern. 

“I don’t know what you want me to do, I said I was sorry and I am. I really, truly am! So, why can’t you just stay with me? Be with me?” He argued. 

“I know you are! I do, but just because I know you’re sorry doesn’t change the fact that I have a life somewhere else now, Ro. I can’t just abandon it.” 

“Why can’t you? Just come home!” Roman threw his arms up in anger. 

“I don’t want to abandon it, Roman. I don’t want to leave. I like it there.” You move yourself onto your knees as you speak. 

“Jesus fucking-” Roman looked away from you and tugs at his hair, “I can’t believe you right now!” 

“Roman,” You sigh. 

“No! You know what? I have been declaring my fucking love for you for the past two days and that just means nothing to you? Because it doesn’t mean nothing to me.” 

“It means something-!” You begin, but Roman talks over you. 

“And that, that on the couch, that fucking meant something to me! Because you mean something to me, (Y/N). You always have and you always will.” He’s shouting now, if he had any neighbors you’re sure they would be able to hear. 

Your eyes filmed with tears as you watch him. 

“And fuck, while I’ve been going on like a bitch about how I love you, how I’m devoted to you, and you haven’t said shit! Not a word.” Roman’s eyes are beginning to wet as well. 

“Is that what this is? You don’t fucking love me?” His anger cracks as his voice quivers. 

“Roman, no!” You spring from where you knelt on the couch and rush to him, “I do, you know I do. I love you! I love you so much I ache.” 

You cry freely now as you try to clutch his face, but Roman brushes you off. 

“I love you, I have always loved you Roman. I always will. But,” 

“But what? How is that not enough!”

“I need you to love me enough to know there is nothing for me here.”

“Not even me?” His lip quivers. 

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Your hands shake and so does your breath, “I mean there is not real life for me here. You have The Tower and that’s you life, but what about me? What could I possibly do here that would make me happy?”

Roman says nothing, just swallows a hiccup that threatened to burst from his throat.

“I need you to love me enough to let me leave.”

Roman’s face crumbles into a drastic frown as he fights tears, “I can’t. I can’t do that, not again, I can’t. I can’t let you leave again.” 

“Baby,” You choke out. 

“No! I can’t, I love you. So, please, just love me enough to stay. I’ll give you everything you could ever want, anything you could ever dream of to make it better here.”

“Roman, I love you. I do, I always will. But, maybe this will be good for us. Have time apart to be our own people. I think it might even be healthy?” You say your last words with a watery smile that Roman doesn’t return. 

“I don’t want to have time apart. I had time apart from you and I was fucking miserable.” He states. 

The thought of Roman all alone in this house, heartbroken and stewing in pity and anger makes your heart convulse with pain. You thought of all the nights you slept in your dorm room, silent tears streaking your cheeks as you held your hand over your mouth in hopes to not wake your roommate. You wondered if on the nights you cried for him, if Roman had cried for you? Had he cried at all? Or while you were pouring yourself into your studies to forget him, he was fucking whores to forget you?

“Roman, please just… I love you, just please,” Again, you had no idea what you were begging for. For him to let you leave? For him to convince you to stay? All you knew was that this day had been so catosphroticlly emotionally draining and all you wanted was to fall into his arms for comfort.

“Do you want to be apart from me?” He asked bluntly. 

“Roman, just-” 

“Answer me. Do you want to be apart from me anymore?” 

Your mouth was thick with discarded tears and phlegm. All you could do was look at him and hope he understood you. To tell him you didn’t. 

His eyes softened and you knew your mental tether was still intact. 

Roman takes a step toward you and moves his head to be level with your own, “Then we’ll make this work. I’ll convince NYU to let you take online classes from here, OK? I’ll build them some new buildings - hell! A new campus. I’ll be their new biggest donor, their new favorite fucking person. I’ll give them whatever they want as long as they give me you in return.” 

“I can’t ask you to do that, Roman.” You look down at your feet. 

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.” 

You pierce your teeth into your bottom lip and look back up at him. Back at Roman with his pink, glossy eyes and hopeful gaze. 

“I love the city…” 

“Then we’ll fly up every weekend, no exceptions. I’ll buy us a loft in the heart of Manhattan.You can design it to your heart’s content. Make it will feel warm and old and us. The opposite of this place.” Roman says quickly like he knew that would be your next rebuttal. 

You gasp a sob and close your eyes tight. You feel Roman close the distance between you both and cup your face in his large hands. 

“And we will figure the rest out, whatever else is holding you back. We’ll find you your dream job or your passion or whatever you want.” 

You crack your pulsing eyes, to see Roman’s face now streaked with tears. 

“Just tell me you’ll stay.”

You knew this was a risk. You knew he was a risk. You knew leaving New York and NYU sounded naive and utterly foolish to someone on the outside of your and Roman’s relationship. You knew that you would fight with him, that you would get angry with him, that he’d work too much and that he would have to reschedule trips to the city. You knew you would get irritated with each other and you’d say something snarky and Roman would say something mean. You knew there would be nights you went to bed angry and days where you gave each other the silent treatment. You knew it would be hard. Most things involving Roman were. Expect loving him.

You knew that even with all the bad that came with a relationship with Roman, it was eons better than being without him for a moment longer now that you had him again. 

You had wanted to look to the future, to forget the past and forge a new way for yourself. Truthfully, you still did. But maybe you could start over with Roman by your side? Wash away the pain of his indiscretions and learn and grow and heal together? You hoped you could. You hope you weren’t letting your overwhelming love for the man in front of you cloud your judgements. 

So, you placed your hands on his neck and watched his face turn hopeful and said: 

“Ok.”

i really wish i could say i loved this, but i am really on the fence about if this story is even good at all? it was better in my head. but! i hope you enjoyed it anyway and pllsss if you did, gimme some feedback <3 it makes me happy :-)

[softboywriting]

Hate To Love You | Poe Dameron

Summary: You and Poe have been friends since you arrived at the Resistance base three years ago. Well, friends who often want to strangle each other as much as they want to take the other to bed. After a solo mission gone wrong you get teamed up with Poe for a follow up mission on Canto Bight. The two of you together under the right circumstances may lead to something neither of you can resist, and confessions that can’t be taken back. [Star wars universe] [nsfw themes no smut] [fluff] [fr-enemies to lovers [[sort of]] 

Word Count: 6k

|Masterlist In Bio|

You find yourself in a bad area of Kajimi while on an intel mission for Leia. There is supposedly a man with information about the location of an abandoned First Order fleet ship that would be an excellent salvage opportunity. Stars above know the Resistance can use all the weapons and ship parts they can get their hands on. You went in alone, opting to leave behind your usual partner Daya, while she was laid up from a blaster burn. It was supposed to be an easy job. You go into Kajimi City, go to a cantina called Knicks and meet a man in an emerald green robe. He would give you a holopad and you would leave. Of course that does not happen.

You enter the cantina and immediately note that it is absolutely packed from wall to wall. It's loud, as most are, and you make your way around, looking for the man in the emerald robe. It's hard to see as it's barely lit. It's a divey place, sketchiness oozes from every inch of the establishment. Bad things, illegal things, happen here. You keep your head down, pull your hood up and keep moving.

"Oh look at her! Hey honey, gimme some of that body." Some guy hollers as you pass him.

You step forward and push past two big aliens that are conversing in grunts. You cannot stand being hit on. It's so irritating. You wore baggy jumpsuit pants and one of Poe's jackets to make yourself seem shapeless. Apparently that didn't work as well as you hoped. You wish the contact would show up or make himself seen because you're not keen on asking the barkeep about him. Last time you did that it ended badly, as the person you were after was not well liked.

There isn't much time to worry about all of that when a loud boom shakes the cantina, causing a hush to fall over the crowded room.

"First Order! Run!" Someone yells and then panic erupts.

You're jostled around as patrons begin to hurry for the exit. This sucks, there is no way you're going to get the intel now. Fuck it. You head for the exit, squeezing past a few droids to get out into the cold night air. Sure enough there are stormtroopers everywhere grabbing people left and right. You duck into an alley and head for anywhere that is not the middle of town.

The alley goes to a dead end that has an open sewer tunnel grate. It's better than nothing. You'll camp out in the tunnels and wait until things settle down topside. You slide past the bars and head into the dark passageway, pulling your flashlight out for a better visual. Unfortunately you don't make it too far before you come face to face with a blaster as you enter a dim lit tunnel.

"How'd you find this place?" The woman on the other end of the blaster says. "You're not part of the crew."

"I ran from the stormtroopers and slipped through an open sewer grate. I don't mean any harm."

"That jacket, where'd you get it?"

You look down and back up. "Uh, someone gave it to me?"

The woman walks forward, blaster still trained on you. "I know this jacket. Who are you?"

"I'm with the resistance. I can leave, I will find another place to stay until the stormtroopers clear out."

"What's your name?"

You swallow thickly. Why does your name matter? And why is she obsessed with this jacket? "Dameron. My name is Dameron."

"Dameron? Poe Dameron? Are you related?"

Oh fuck. She knows Poe. Shit. Fuck. He told you he once had bad luck on Kajimi, but he also said he had friends there. He never specified exactly what bad luck meant, but of course you'd run into someone who knew him. It's a fifty fifty chance, either this person is a friend or an enemy and you're gonna have to roll the dice. "He's my...husband?"

She scoffs. "He's alive? That son of a bitch. I should tea-"

"Zorii! They've taken Burnham!" Someone shouts from down the tunnel.

The woman makes a noise of annoyance. "Listen, you tell Poe if he ever steps foot on Kajimi again I will have his head on a platter and serve the rest of him to a sand worm. And if I see him outside if Kajimi it's on sight. Got it?"

"Yep. Got it." You turn and head back to the entrance of the tunnels. Sweat runs down your back and you walk faster, feeling the wall for guidance. You're too afraid to turn your light back on in case Zorii comes after you. You're done taking chances today, it's time to get back to your ship and get back to base. Fuck the intel.

_____________________

"Hey! You made it back!" Poe cheers, clapping you on the back as soon as you enter the command center. He's the only one in there, seemingly going over the latest attack plans on a First Order base. "How was Kajimi? Did you get the coordinates?"

"No, I didn't." You pull off your hat and gloves, slapping them on the table. "Do you know a woman named Zorii?"

Poe's face pales, eyes wide. "Perhaps, why?"

"I ran into her on accident. She recognized your jacket!" You pluck at the leather collar. "I'm fairly certain I'm lucky to be alive."

"Whoa hold on, did you say it was mine?"

"Sort of? I don't know, she asked my name and I said Dameron because I didn't want to give my real name because safety and whatever and I didn’t think any more of it. But of course she knew you! And she seemed to think you were dead. Wanna explain?"

"You gave my name?!" Poe grabs his hair and turns away, pacing the length of the star chart console. "Fuck! What did you tell her? I need to know. Did you say you were my sister? My cousin? My child?"

"First of all I'm too old to be your child you idiot. I said wife."

"Wife?! Oh for ewoks sake. You told her I was married?!"

You shrug the jacket off and throw it on a console. "I took a chance Poe! I had no idea if she was a friend or a foe!"

"Oh you took a chance alright. I'm so fucking dead now."

"Why? She was pissed but how bad can it be?"

Poe laughs debilitatingly. "Faking my own death to get out of the crew and join the resistance? Is that bad? Or hold how about this, I faked my death and we were seeing each other at the time I did."

Your jaw drops. "Poe Dameron! You did what?!"

"Yeah! Yeah, no I know! I'm a huge piece of shit but I did what I had to do to keep my ass alive."

You throw your hands up and turn away, walking toward the seating area. "You couldn't just break up with her like a normal person? No?"

"It wasn't about her, it was about leaving the crew."

"Then just leave!"

"Just leave? You have no idea how much shit that would put me in. I faked my death to sever all ties. Spice runners don't let people just leave when you know about their production and-"

"SPICE?!"

"Yeah that's what I said. We all have a past, don't start with me." He groans and sinks down into a chair. "I'm so fucking dead."

"You're only dead if you set foot on Kajimi. Just don't go there."

"Ah, yeah sure. Didn't plan on that regardless. The point isn't that I want to go back to Kajimi one day, it's a shit hole anyway, it's that Zorii knows I'm not dead and I lied to her. She's going to be furious and probably come after my ass."

"Well she can't miss it."

Poe gives you a death stare. "I'm aware my ass is big. Believe me, the seats in the falcon remind me every fucking time. I don't need this right now." He stands and heads for the exit as a few Captains enter. You watch as he leaves and turn your chair toward the console behind it, burying your face in your hands and sighing heavily.

______________________

"Poe?" You call out tentatively as you enter the area of the hangar where he's been working on his x-wing for the last several hours. It's been a day since you got into it in the command center and you feel horrible for making him angry. He's your commander, and you'd even say friend though you butt heads a bit, but at the end of the day you do care for him. A lot. More than you probably should, even if he is a real pain in your ass. He gets under your skin and makes you hotter than any man ever has. It's a fine balance of attraction and irritation.

Sure enough he's laying across the top of his x-wing, foot hooked into the opening of the cockpit, stretched out reaching something inside the engine. He's got on just his cargo pants and a black tank top and you cannot help but stare at his ass. Yes, you teased him about it earlier but in all honesty you love it. It's so...grabable and sexy. He has no idea. Or maybe he does. It seemed like a sore subject earlier but you had been teasing him so that's your fault.

"Poe?" You say a bit louder and he pushes up out of the engine, arms holding him up against the mainframe. His hair is curled beyond belief, the humidity and sweat most likely.

"What now?"

"I wanted to say sorry for yesterday morning."

He pushes himself up farther and repositions himself to slide off the edge of the x-wings body to stand in front of you. He wipes his hands on his tank and crosses his arms. "Why'd you say you were my wife?"

"Huh? I told you, because-"

"No. No, you could have said sister or cousin, anything. But you chose to say wife. Why?"

"I guess I thought it was the safest option." You shrug and dig your boot into the dusty concrete. You definitely haven't imagined what it would be like to be his wife. To be his girlfriend even. Definitely not.

"You thought- oh." Poe hums. "Well I got news for you, wife. We have an assignment together."

"What? Why?"

"Because our friend with the coordinates has taken refuge in Canto Bight."

"The casino resort city? Why the fuck would he go there?"

Poe shrugs. "It beats me. Maybe the guy has a gambling problem. Either way, you and I are going and we are getting those coordinates."

"Why do you need to go?"

"As your partner."

Your heart sinks. Leia knows you blew it on Kajimi. It wasn't supposed to be a solo mission but you said you could handle it. Not that it was your fault the first order decided to raid the city. But why Poe? Why not send someone else with you? Daya? Rose? Wexley?

"Why?"

Poe jumps and hits the release for the hood of the x-wing to fall closed. "Why, because Leia said so."

"Why you? Doesn't she need you here for stuff?"

He smiles and hooks his thumbs in the belt loops of his pants. "It's gonna be me because I asked for the mission."

"You're messing with me aren't you? This is some kind of retribution for outing your fake death."

"Maybe, maybe not." He wraps his arm around your shoulders and pulls you against him. "Pack your bags, because it's honeymoon week on Canto Bight."

"What?!"

"Oh yeah. They're only letting couples in and seeing as you're my wife now..."

"POE DAMERON!"

"Mmm?"

You shove him and he cackles. "You asshole! You are so petty for this."

"Yeah well you signed my death warrant. The least I can do is get even just a little bit."

"I'm not going to sleep with you!" You shout back as you walk away. "I'm not your real wife!"

"We'll see about that!"

_____________________

Poe Dameron can clean up nice. Galaxies he looks like a model when he peels off the fighter suit and runs his hand over his curls. He's in a red silken dress shirt, the top three buttons undone and showing off his gold chain beneath that dips down low on his chest. Black slacks that are definitely tailored because they hug his butt and thighs like they're made for him. Fuck.

"Are you going to change?" Poe asks, gesturing to your flight suit. "I don't think they'll let us in if you're in that."

"Of course I'm going to change." You tug at the velcro of your suit and peel it open to reveal your dress beneath. It's not too fancy, just a simple black dress, knee length and short sleeved. You don't have a lot of nice clothes, they just aren't something you keep around. You do have a necklace from your mom, a nice silver chain with a blue gem pendant. You don't look nearly as nice as Poe does.

"So our cover is that we're a newly wed couple who can't keep their hands off each other. I'm more likely to get noticed here. I can hide my face in your neck and hair. People don't care much for PDA so they will hopefully just ignore us and-" Poe stops mid briefing and you look over at him. "Oh damn." He mutters softly. "My wife looks hot."

"What? Shut up." You toss the flight suit into the cockpit and attempt to fix your hair in the reflection on the windshield. "You're being an ass."

Poe lays his hand on your lower back. "I give you a compliment and I'm an ass? What kind of backwards planet are you from?"

"It was not a compliment. You said wife. Which is not a compliment, it's teasing, so you are an ass."

He leans in close and you press against the x-wing. You can see him in the windshield behind you. Your eyes meet in the reflection and you refuse to look away. His voice comes close to your ear, eyes still boring into yours as he says, "My partner looks stunning and beautiful and I cannot believe I get to do this mission with her. Is that better?"

Your stomach sinks and your heart stops. "You're not bad yourself."

He chuckles, still close to your ear. "I know."

"Confident much?" You press back against him to move away from the x-wing and he wraps his arm around your waist, holding you tight against his warmth. Your body flushes, heat pooling in your stomach. Flashes of what you'd like him to do race through your brain. Galaxies what you wouldn't let him do to you. No. You have to get your mind out of the gutter. You have a job to do.  "Let go, Poe."

"Better get used to it. We're going to do a lot of touching." He purrs before he releases you.

You roll your eyes and he smirks.

"Don't think I can't see that blush." He walks beside you as you head to the grand entry way of the Canto Bight resort. "I know you want me."

"In your dreams, Dameron."

He chuckles. "I do have lots of dreams." He matches your pace and slips his arm around your back. "Fun dreams. We should share them sometime."

You cut him a glare and he grins. "You're really playing into this cover."

"Who says I'm playing?"

______________________

As soon as you're checked in, the hunt is on. You can't help but wonder how many of these people would just leap at the chance to throttle you and Poe for simply being part of the Resistance. There's only one way to get this rich in the galaxy and that is weaponry and sympathizing with the First Order. After an hour or so you and Poe head for the elevators that go to the game rooms on the top floor. It's the roulette rooms to be exact. You got word from base that the contact is a roulette player, always betting black.

"I hope we find him." You say to yourself as the doors to the elevator close. It's only you and Poe inside, which is fine with you. At least you don't have to act when no one is around. The last hour has been an excruciating test of will power. You want this to be over, to never have to touch Poe again because it is killing you inside. You know this won't last.

"As do I."

"Huh? Oh. Yeah. I still feel like we're flying a little blind."

"We'll find him."

You look over and Poe has his arms crossed, staring straight ahead at the reflective doors. You look at the doors and take in the two of you together. He looks like he belongs here and you don't. People are going to know you're fakes. This isn't a mission for you, you're not a good actor and you're barely dressed for the part.

"You look great, stop worrying." Poe says softly.

"What? I didn't say anything?"

"You're staring at our reflection intently. I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. You look great."

You fold your arms over your chest and lean against the wall. "You're staring too."

Poe turns and steps directly in front of you. "I'm staring at you."

"Well stop."

"I can't." He catches your chin between his thumb and forefinger and your hands start sweating, heart going wild. "I wanna take it all in while I have it."

"You think I'm not going to dress up ever again?"

"Maybe. I've known you for three years now and I've never seen you like this."

"Don't get used to it."

Poe releases your chin as the elevator dings, signaling your floor. "I won't. But I'm going to relish it while I can."

"Yeah, you do tha-ah!"

He grabs your hand and pulls you out onto the game floor, tugging you against his chest. He slides a hand into your hair and your knees go weak. "Remember our cover?"

"Y-yeah?"

"Newly weds." He drops his lips to your ear. "That can't get enough of each other. You can touch me again, it's okay."

You rest your hand against his chest and his heart is beating fast and hard. He's really into this. "How are we supposed to find the contact if we're all over each other?"

"We will. Just follow my lead."

Poe wraps his arm around your back and guides you to walk with him to a table. He crowds you against the table in front of him, lips going to your neck. "Ask what the buy in is?"

"What's the buy in?" You smile sweetly, looking at the dealer. You're trying not to tremble but Poe is really making you feel weak kneed. He's taken to sliding his hand across your stomach and massaging his thumb just over your ribcage.

"Twenty thousand Madame." The dealer says happily. "Shall I put you on the board next round?"

"Uh.."

"Yes." Poe says more lustfully than helpfully.

You shiver and nod. "Yes please."

The dealer gives a nod and begins to set out a marker for you while the roulette wheel spins away.

"How exactly are we doing this?" You hiss at Poe and he chuckles. "Seriously what money do you-"

"He's here."

"What? Where?" You look around the table and no one matches the contact's description. "Where?"

Poe bites at your neck and you let out an embarrassing little noise of pleasure. He's hitting all your sensitive spots and it's driving you mad. "Table at our two o'clock."

You look over and sure enough there is a man in a long emerald green robe. "Great let's go talk to him."

"Not so fast." Poe murmurs, fingers flexing on your stomach. "We have a game to play."

"No we don't. We have no money." You seethe and he hums against your back. "Seriously what are you-"

Poe lays a bundle of tokens on the table and your eyes go wide. "Don't lose." He presses a kiss to your cheek and pulls away.

"Don't- how the fuck am I supposed to-" You look back and he's crossing the game room to get to the table where the contact is. You look back at your own game and white knuckle the edge of the table. You don't even know how to play roulette.

"Madame? Your bet?" The dealer calls, looking at you.

"I- thirteen?"

"The color Madame?"

"Black."

"Very well."

You watch as the wheel spins and the little ball bounces around inside. It's insufferable. You can't watch. You know it's going to cause you to lose this stack of tokens Poe just slapped down out of nowhere. Why does he have so much money? You look up and find him standing near the contact. He doesn't appear to be talking, just observing.

"Winner!"

Your eyes snap back to the table and the dealer is pushing a large amount of tokens toward you. "What..."

"Thirteen black, straight bet. You've taken the majority of the pot Madame. Shall I put you down for another round or cash you out?"

"Cash out."

The dealer stacks your tokens into a carrier and pushes the small box toward you. "Best of times madame."

You gather the box and make a beeline for Poe. The moment you're in range you lay a hand on his back and he turns, scooping you against him and pressing his lips to your cheek. "I-...Okay?"

"The contact is a spy from the First Order," Poe whispers, kissing along your jaw and your mind goes fuzzy. "This is a trap. We need to stay low, contact Leia and find out more information."

"H-how do you know?" You stammer, brain split between wanting to focus on the mission and getting Poe alone in a bedroom.

"He's wearing a ring that only First Order commanders have. I've seen it before."

You slide your hand down his back and rest it on his ass. It takes everything in you not to squeeze. "We should talk elsewhere. Like you said, we need to get ahold of Leia."

"Did you lose my money at the table?"

"No, and on that subject, where the fuck did you get that much in tokens? Since when do you just have an extra twenty thousand laying around?"

"Don't worry about it. What did you win?"

"I don't know?" You move away and hold up the carrier full of tokens. "The dealer just gave me this."

Poe takes it and his eyes go wide. "Holy sh- this is way more than I laid down. Okay first things first we cash this out and get a room. Then we call Leia."

"Sounds good."

_____________________

The room is huge, a suite for a small family. Seriously you could house at least four people in there comfortably it is so large. You take a seat on the end of the giant gold and black bed in the center of the room and Poe starts rolling up his sleeves. It's way hotter than it should be and your brain wanders. It'd feel so good to have him pin you down, kiss you until you can't think straight anymore. His tongue is probably so skilled and-

"Hey, hello, you alive?" Poe says, touching your shoulder. "Did you bring the communicator?"

"Yeah, yeah it's in my purse."

Poe looks around and spots the small purse you had been carrying. "This could have been very bad."

"Do you think he would have tried to kill us?"

"No. I think he would have given us the coordinates and lead us into a death trap." Poe dials out the command center code. "I knew this abandoned ship was too good to be true."

You flop back and stare at the ceiling while Poe talks to Leia. It's painted gold with black stars imprinted throughout. It's interesting, ritzy and obnoxious, but still pretty. You smile to yourself. You've never been in a place this nice. Never in a million years did you think you would find yourself in Canto Bight. Heat rises in your stomach as you reflect on the last hour or so with Poe. He was so willing to touch you, to make you squirm under his attentions. Does he feel some type of way for real? Is he playing the part? You know one thing, you are never going to recover from this. You're going to have dreams for months.

"You know your dress is leaving little to the imagination."

You snap out of your thoughts and sit up, staring at Poe who's standing at the end of the bed looking down at you. Galaxies it's so sexy, his eyes are trained on you and you can't look away. Your dress is hiked up to your thighs, so laying down he could probably see your underwear. "Maybe you should look elsewhere."

"Maybe I don't wanna." He smirks and your blood pressure skyrockets. He reaches out and flips the bit of fabric laying on your leg and exposes a bit more skin.

"Poe!"

His big hand covers the top of your thigh and he gives a little squeeze. "Tell me to stop."

"Poe...what're you doing?"

His other hand finds your opposite thigh and he slides them up under the dress. He's just touching your legs and you're getting riled up. He presses his face into your neck and you let out the most feeble whine of pleasure. "If you don't want this for real, tell me now."

"We shouldn-"

He gives a little bite and you fall backwards, body no longer able to handle it. "Yes or no sweetheart, I need to know if you want this?"

"Yes. I want you." You bite your lip and it's all over. Poe climbs over you, holding your wrists just like you imagined. His lips find yours, kissing you hungrily while you squirm beneath him, aching to touch him in return. You know it's going to be a long night and that's just fine.

____________________

Sometime in the middle of the night you wake up, eyes opening to the darkened room. For a moment you cannot sort out where you are. The bed feels unfamiliar, the air smells different, nothing is right. Then it hits you. Canto Bight. Poe. You roll over and sure enough there he is beside you, arm over his face.

Last night comes back to you. Oh man. That's why you're sore and naked. You turn back over and Poe shifts on his side. An arm wraps around your chest, pulling you flush against him under the blankets.

"Go back to sleep sweetheart."

"You're awake too."

His hand slides up your chest and settles against your throat. You shiver, remembering last night. A wave of heat courses down your body and settles between your legs. He must know this because he chuckles softly. "Quiet now aren't you?"

"Shut up."

"That's not what you told me last night." He kisses along your shoulder and rubs his thumb back and forth across your throat, applying gentle pressure. "I believe the words were, harder please."

"Poe we just woke up. Do you really need to do this now?" You groan and he slides his hand away, settling it on your chest instead.

He nuzzles against your hair and places another kiss to the back of your neck. "I don't want it to end."

"What?"

"Us, this."

You turn over and face him, nearly nose to nose. You can feel his breath and you stare at each other for a long moment. "You want this?"

He nods. "Please?"

"Okay, I'm down for exploring this." You smile and he leans in to kiss you gently. "I guess I wasn't so far off when I said I was your wife."

Poe cards a hand through your hair. "Easy now, we could make that a possibility. There's a dozen union halls here."

"We're not getting married!" You laugh and he does so in turn. "Fuck a guy once and he wants to make you his wife. Damn, how long has it been Poe?"

"Shut up!"

"No seriously, how long?"

"A while."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Sure. It's your fault."

You narrow your eyes and he's grinning. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means, it's your fault I haven't gotten laid." He flips your nose with his finger and you swat him away. "I'm spelling it out here."

"No you're not? How is it my fault exactly?"

"Because I'm...inlovewithyou." He mutters the last bit, and stares diligently at your pillow.

You touch his cheek and turn his head up to look at you. "Run that by me again?"

"You heard it."

"I heard the impossible. So I know I heard wrong."

"Fuck you, impossible."

"Then say it again!

"I love you!" He takes in a shaky breath. "You're the only woman I've ever met that goes toe to toe with me and gets under my skin to the point I just want to rip your head off but also fuck you so hard you're begging for it. I look forward to seeing you every morning, I look forward to talking to you every day. When you go on missions I can't eat or sleep because I'm so damn worried you won't come back. Fuck, you're everything and I-I must look like an idiot."

"Poe."

"Don't say it. I know it's fine. You don't feel the same and-"

You lean forward and kiss him to make him shut up. He catches on immediately and cradles your face as he returns the kiss. "First things first Dameron..."

"Yeah?" He mutters, eyes closed as he chases your lips as you speak.

"Don't ever tell me how I feel."

He grins and opens his eyes, staring back at you with burning fire. It's passion, challenge, interest. So many emotions you can't settle on one. "Can I tell you want to do?"

"What do you think?"

"Yes?" He slides his hand down to your throat, not squeezing, just touching. "You seemed to like me telling you what to do last night."

You bite his lip and he groans. "Maybe sometimes."

"I'll take sometimes." He pulls you against him, tucking your head under his chin. "Can I take you to breakfast?"

"Like a date?"

"Yes."

"Sure, but you gotta tell me where you got those tokens last night."

He chuckles. "They're fake."

"Fake?! You gave me fake tokens?!"

"I told you not to lose didn't I?"

"You son of a bitch."

"No my mother was a kind woman, thank you."

"I hate you."

He kisses your head and holds his lips to your hair. "No you don't."

You grip his back, pressing your face into his chest. "I don't. Not even a little."

_____________________

Three days after you and Poe return to base things don't seem to have changed. Poe doesn't seem to hint at wanting to be together, he doesn't say anything about what happened between you two on Canto Bight. It's weird. You had such a good night and a lovely breakfast. As far as hook ups and first dates go, they were some of the best you've ever had. You thought things were going well, that you were going to be a couple when you got back to base, but that isn't happening and you don't know why. It's a little annoying and you wonder if Poe is embarrassed to be with you. Or maybe he doesn't want people to know because he wants to keep his options open. You feel played and it is not sitting well.

"Bout time you got back." You say as Poe walks up to the supply cart you're stocking in the hangar. He has been out on a mission with the black x-wing team. Some sort of attack on some stormtroopers invading a resistance friendly settlement.

"Miss me?"

"Yeah, sure." You roll your eyes.

Poe grabs the handles on the cart and leans forward as he speaks. "Is there a problem?"

"I don't know, is there?"

"Don't start with me."

You slam down a pack of fuses and lift your eyes to meet his. "Don't start with you? Oh no problem, you already didn't start it."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh fuck you."

Poe raises his eyebrows. "Fuck me? I'm not doing anything. You're coming at me for who knows what. Tell me what I did!"

"Nothing! You've done nothing Poe! Since we got home you've barely looked at me twice. We spent an incredible night in Canto Bight and for what? For what Poe?!"

"That's what you're mad about?!"

"Yeah! I feel like I've been played!" You laugh angrily, stepping away from the cart and walking around a pile of scrap parts in boxes. "Is Poe Dameron too good to admit he fell in love?!"

"Fuck all, you don't need to shout that across the base!"

You narrow your eyes at him. "You want me to shout? Oh I'll shout." You turn your back to him and face the open expanse of the hangar. "I'm in love with Poe Dameron and he is in love with me! We fucked on Canto Bight and it was amazing!"

A few pilots and crew nearby make noises of encouragement.

Poe grabs your shoulder and turns you around a little rougher than you expect. He backs you against the wall and your heart goes absolutely wild. "You want something to scream about? I'll give you a reason to scream my name."

"Put your money where your mouth is Dameron."

He leans in close, caging you in with his hands on the wall beside your head. "Call me by my last name again and I'll make sure you scream it too."

You stare at him in heavy silence for a moment. The tension is teetering on thin ice. "Tell me you love me. Say it again."

"I love you." He presses his forehead against yours. "I love you until the stars burn out."

"Then why have you been putting me off for the last three days?"

"I've been working through some personal shit."

You swallow thickly. You feel like an asshole now. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't know." He drops his hands from the wall and holds your face. "I promise I'll tell you everything one day, just bare with me."

You grab his wrists and rub your thumb over the back of his hands. "Are you okay? Like...y'know?"

"Yeah."

"You're sure?"

Poe nods. "It's just my PTSD and some other stuff. Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Do you really love me like you just shouted to the base?"

You smile and he bumps your noses together. "Yeah Poe. I love you."

He leans in and kisses you, smiling into it as he does so. "You're really hot when you're angry."

"You are too." You grin back as you slide your hands over his butt. "Maybe we should work on communication."

"Mmm. Then let me tell you how much I want to get you alone right now."

"What's stopping you?"

"Nothing." He grunts as he slides his hands under your legs and lifts you up. "I'm taking you straight to the commander's quarters for punishment."

You grip his back tightly as he walks you out of the hangar. "What's my offense?"

"Verbally attacking a commander and stealing his heart."

"You're cheesy."

"You love it." He purrs, placing his lips against your throat. "You love me."

"Yes, yes I do."

---------

End

------

Header pic by delicate-venus

*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted works.*****

[inkstaineddove]

Circling Eagles

Characters: Austria, Prussia; mentioned Hungary, France and Holy Rome

Summary: Austria is suddenly summoned to Berlin by Prussia for a vague meeting. Tensions run hot between them as egos due to an over abundance of ego and animosity in both, throwing their discussions off course to air grievances and bait the other.

Berlin, 1806.

Prussia was hunched over his desk in his study. The matter of France’s increasing territorial ambition had left him with more work to do than ever. He found himself a slave to all his papers as they stacked up, growing ever higher each day. He was roused from this by a light tapping on the door. One of his servants stepped in and bowed her head. He flicked his hand towards her as if to beg her to get on with it. "Master Edelstein has arrived, sir."

He harrumphed. "Have him wait five minutes in the parlor before sending him up. I'm in the middle of something." He returned back to his papers, scribbling out correspondence to generals on the front and to ambassadors throughout the European courts.

Not even a minute had gone by before the door slammed open. "Oh for heaven's sake, Gilbert! Who do you think I am, Baden? You can't expect me to wait around like your coy little mistress after you rush me over from Vienna." Roderich was leaning over the desk, in the Prussian's face.

Gilbert grimaced. Why did his beloved cousin have to wear so much fucking perfume? It never smelled good either, making it even less tolerable. "Get over yourself, Roddy. You know I would never treat your mistress like that. How is she, by the way? I've been so busy, I haven't had the chance to call on her. I hope she hasn't wasted away, having to capitulate with a man hardly capable of fulfilling his marital duties."

Roderich straightened up, his face red. Gilbert rose and shut the door. The staff didn't need to hear all this. "You jealous, spiteful little rat. If this is all you have to say to me, when I've been sending men to death to protect your pathetic little state, I've got no qualms signing a treaty with France and ending the whole thing! I'd love to join with him and rid myself of you, but tragically I have honor."

Prussia shrugged, barely suppressing his amusement at the other’s outburst. "I was enjoying myself, but you've always got to ruin the fun." He began rummaging through the stacks of paper on his desk. Eventually, he found what he was looking for. "Have you received any letter from us yet, dated a month ago after Austerlitz? I know your men were at the battle, but no one reported to me seeing you there."

"I know we got our asses handed to us and about the resultant treaty afterwards, as I negotiated that, but that's it. I'm assuming you tried reaching me about something else?" Austria gaped as he watched Prussia toss out the letter he had so valiantly fished for. "What was the point of that?"

"I'll show you instead. It's about that troublesome empire you clung so tightly to." Prussia led him out and down the halls to a darkened room in the basement. "Thankfully, it's really unsettling down here so I've had no trouble keeping my staff away from here. But it sure was a bitch wrapping the kid up in sheets and bringing him down here in the middle of the night. Without making a sound, should I add." He couldn't help the hint of pride in his voice. He lit the candles hanging by the sofa.

Roderich leaned against the wall, needing it for support. He felt queasy. There before him was the body of Holy Rome. It was a wretched sight. He was covered in wounds, his body appearing as if it had began bursting apart. His eyes were rolled to the back of his head, his tongue was swollen, and his face distorted. "What did you do to him?"

"I didn't do anything! He was sent here after Austerlitz in need of expert medical care. He got it, but everyday he kept getting worse. He became so shriveled up, completely disfigured and eventually unable to eat or move. I guess this is what happens when a state's dissolved by treaty. Almost feel bad for him, it might've been better if France had just gutted him with a sword." Prussia yawned, completely unbothered. As the years had gone by, he'd grown less and less fond with the empire-in-name-only. If anything, Francis had done him a personal favor. "I'm sorry you lost the seat of your power."

Austria was not taking this discovery well. He knew that Holy Rome ceased to exist in everything but name - hell, he agreed to it in the treaty - but he expected the embodiment of it to go slowly, peacefully. To eventually fade away till it existed in memory only. This was grotesque. A horror beyond any other imaginable. He wanted to throw up, he wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, to drink till he was numb. So of course, of course, Gilbert would take this as an opportunity to douse the wound in vinegar. "How dare you! Insinuating that was the only reason I cared for him after all these centuries. To stand there, on your high horse, and act as if you're somehow more worthy than me because you're so callous, so uncaring towards this. Marvelous! Further proof that a ghoul has no soul! Are you proud, are you fucking proud Gilbert? Will this help you sleep at night, knowing you have to live in my shadow while I've gotten everything - the girl, the empire, the power - that you've wanted?" As he spoke, he pushed Prussia against the wall, his breath stinging hot against Gilbert's lips.

He saw red. Before he even knew it, he'd punched Roderich in the jaw. Before he even knew it, he'd spat on his cousin’s hunched over body, landing it right on Roderich's cheek. He knelt down and grabbed the Austrian by the collar. "For a little whore who can't defend himself, you really love talking a big game. What do you have that I don't have? I think we know who your wife would rather be with. You know that too, don't even fucking start there. This isn't the fifteen-hundreds anymore, Roderich. All your power comes from who you can get your monarchs to marry off to, whoring yourself around to each nation so maybe they won't recognize the paper tiger in front of them. What power can you really have if you're too weak to truly flex it? As for your empire-" He gestured towards the decrepit corpse of Holy Rome, "-he's over there. Rotting away, no longer any use to you. Now what puppet will you have to prop yourself up with?" He pushed Austria away and stood. "Get over yourself, you'd be less intolerable. Sure, you won't see me crying any tears for this nuisance, but I'm not celebrating. If he really means that much to you, then figure out what to do with the body. That's the reason I called you here. I don't want this shit here any longer. He’s stinking up my cellar.”

Austria spat the blood that was pooling in his mouth out. He wiped the spit off his cheek. "You're a barbarian. Who could ever love that? Uncivilized, uncouth, an ogre. Whoever you appeal to simply lacks taste, that's all. It's not an attachment to you, it's an absence of acculturation to be worked on." He paused. "Vigorously." Collecting his pride, he rose and dusted himself off. Roderich rolled his eyes. "I suppose a proper Catholic burial in Vienna will be due. All the royal honors. I'll invite the other German states, though I doubt they'll show, a fitting tribute to their allegiance."

"Burying it would be a waste. Haven't you heard what the others have been begging for? The whole specter of France has the weaklings begging for a united Germany." Prussia wrinkled his nose up at the concept of it. "If they get their way, it might be worthwhile keeping the damn thing."

"A united Germany? One where Bavaria, Saxony, and the two of us are all working together, fighting for the same goals and for the same nation?" Austria scoffed. "A fantasy. No, if I kept him in an accessible area and the idealists got wind of that, my God. It would be a propaganda victory for them if they believed I sided with them. I can't have that. It would be suicide."

"Just a thought. That whole group keeps clamoring for it more and more. I'm not sure how easily we'll be able to crush the idea. They seem to be putting all their hopes into it." Gilbert laughed. "It's ridiculous. They want every state to be considered equals in it. Can you imagine? Having us be equal to all of them? I'd be embarrassed having to consider Cleves a peer."

Austria gave him a pointed look. "I think what would be worse is us having to consider the other an equal. The day I look at you occupying the same plane as me will be my last. You'll always be that backwater nation with unchecked ambitions to me. Saxony and Bavaria have had the common sense to acknowledge that, it's you who's always been desperate to rise beyond his station. Funny, you'd expect a Calvinist to accept that he was predestined for mediocrity."

Prussia's blood ran cold. He clenched his jaw. "And you'll always be a dying star, clinging to its last streaks of glory. Too proud to admit when he's washed up and no longer en vogue. For all your trappings of wealth and culture, it never seemed to get you any class. You're still here, in the mud, where you'll always be. Come on, don't be afraid to admit that you like it." Austria shifted nervously. Prussia smiled. "I'll send the body to you. I figure you don't want it riding in your carriage with you, you're welcome."

They tersely went back up the stairs to the main hallway. Roderich collected his coat and checked his appearance in the mirror. "You're beautiful, please leave my home now." Prussia opened the door and, as Austria walked out, said, "Make sure to give my regards to the misses."

Roderich stopped and leaned in close to Gilbert's ear. "I will as we're going to bed tonight after I've fucked her so good. And I'll think of you, sleeping in that big bed alone, and I'll sleep like a baby." He strode off, leaving Gilbert in the dust. Another meeting of unfinished business.

[dumbchickwrites]

Be Mine — part 3

Pairings: Erik Stevens x Reader.

Warnings: soft! Erik.

Requested by @wakanda-inspired.

A/N: Again, no keep reading tag, sawry!😬 About this part, I was going to leave it at that but I was like.... ‘this lacks drama’. So beware, unnecessary drama below lol.

Part One Part Two

〰��〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

Erik realised that he needed to change the idea that you had of him. He needed to show you that you were special, that only you held his heart in your hands.

So with the help of T’Challa and Kemi, two of your best friends, he organised a little surprise dinner for you, at sunset, your favourite moment. Kemi, more than happy to spend a few minutes with Erik immediately following him and T’Challa to the kitchens.

As Erik and Kemi talked to the chef, T’Challa couldn’t help but think something was off with the handmaiden. Last he heard, you were telling him how much she liked Erik. And just the day before, you told him that someone’s advice kept you from kissing Erik that night.

“Kemi,” he called.

“Yes, kumkani?”

“Would you come with me, please?”

Once they were out of Erik’s earshot, he pulled her around a corner.

“(Y/N) told me she came to you for advice after she talked to N’Jadaka. Would you mind telling me what you told her?”

“My King, these are private conversations,” she tried to laugh the request off but T’Challa kept a straight face.

“Alright then. As your King, I command you to tell me what was said. And I’ll know if you lie.”

Your best friend gulped. “Well, she came to me, told me what happened. I was sceptical at first because, well, we all know about the Prince’s... activities. So I told her that maybe he was not sincere.”

“Hm,” T’Challa crossed his arms, one of hands going to fiddle with his beard. “Isn’t it true that you are... infatuated with N’Jadaka?”

“I...” Kemi opened and closed her mouth, not knowing what to say. “I wouldn’t say ‘infatuated’—“

“You’re dismissed.”

“... I’m sorry?”

“You can be. N’Jadaka won’t need you anymore, you can go.”

With that, he left her in the hallway. He went back in the kitchens to find Erik studying a piece of paper. With a little smile, his cousin handed it to him.

“What do you think?”

“I’m sure she’ll love it,” T’Challa smiled, giving the menu back to Erik.

*

You kissed your lips as you huffed and puffed on your way to the massive panther statue on the other side of the mountain. Had you known T’Challa would call you there — for what exactly, you didn’t know, you wouldn’t have worn heels that morning. Scowl set on your face, you stepped off the elevator, ready to cuss his head off.

Except it wasn’t T’Challa on the cliff. It was Erik, standing in front of a table. He was wringing his hands, looking at the table, but the moment he saw you he dug them in his pockets, a close-mouthed smile on his lips showing off his dimples.

He looked absolutely adorable.

“Wh... What’s going on?” you approached him with small steps.

“Will you have dinner with me? ... Please?”

You could have cried. That had to be one of the sweetest things anyone had done for you.

“Oh, Erik...”

You threw yourself in his arms, your own circling his torso. With your ear against his chest, you could hear the beats of his heart quicken as you squeezed him tighter.

Erik immediately hugged you back, burying his nose in your hair, inhaling the scents of shea butter and coconut oil. Finally. Holding you felt so, so good. Better than he ever imagined.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he chuckled.

“You did all of this for me?” you asked with watery eyes as you took in the setup.

“And I wouldn’t do it for anyone else.”

If you weren’t falling in love with Erik before, you sure as hell were now. A burst of confidence shooting through your body, your hand found the back of his head and pushed it towards yours, making your lips collide in a passionate, breathtaking kiss.

Erik moaned in your mouth as your tongue started dancing with his and he embraced you tighter, if that was even possible.

“Erik, I have to ask,” you said in the middle of dinner. “Why me? Why all of this?”

“‘Cause you got me, Princess. You’re the only thing that keeps me sane these days, you keep me grounded. When I’m with you I feel safe, I feel heard and seen. I want you to feel all those things when you’re with me. I want you to be mine, just like I’m yours.”

You couldn’t help it. You left your chair to sit on his lap, your legs dangling on one side.

“I’m yours,” you whispered against his lips before kissing him again.

*

You and Erik had officially been an item for a few weeks now. You couldn’t get enough of him, of his touch, of his lips, his warmth. Happiness had you glowing and giggling to yourself like a school girl as you thought of him. You were over the moon.

Kemi kept telling you to just wait. Wait until he slips up, because he will. He’s a womaniser. And you haven’t even laid with him yet! He will never settle down with you. But honestly you couldn’t care less about what she thought, and she saw it.

“Looks like someone had a great night,” Shuri teased as you entered T’Challa’s office.

Once a week the three of you would sit down and catch up on gossip and your respective lives. It didn’t look like it but the King of Wakanda loved juicy gossip, he also had the best too.

“Yes, we slept together. I mean we slept together, literally slept, but we didn’t — you know.”

“Bast, (Y/N), I’m not a child anymore!” Shuri rolled her eyes.

“Alright, alright!” you raised your hands in surrender as you sat down on T’Challa’s desk.

“Eh, I already told you, there are chairs here and a sofa over there! Both of you!” the King huffed, gesturing towards you and Shuri, who sat on the other end of the desk.

“Yes, yes,” you waved his remark away. “So, what’s new?”

“We need to find another handmaiden,” Shuri said.

“Why?” you frowned. “What’s wrong with Kemi?”

“She’s becoming sloppy, you do all the work around here. She gets distracted, and I don’t like her energy.”

“Well, I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation to all of this. I’ll talk to her.”

“How can you defend her after what she’s done to you?” T’Challa tilted his head towards you.

“What she’s done to me? What has she done to me?”

“She put her interests before your happiness,” T’Challa stated, as if it was as simple as one plus one.

“I don’t understand,” you shook your head, the crease between your brows deepening.

“She is putting toxic thoughts about your relationship in your head because she wants N’Jadaka to herself. Don’t you think it’s strange that her behaviour is changing just when you’re perfectly happy in your relationship?”

You were livid. Not Kemi. Not your best friend since middle school. But when had T’Challa ever lied to you? Betrayal hit you first. A blow in your stomach which knocked the air out of your lungs. Then anger. You were angry that if it hadn’t been for her, you would have been with Erik long ago.

“I need to talk to her. Where is she?” you asked Shuri.

The Princess raised her wrist and a 3D hologram of the Palace came out of one of her kimoyo beads. She zoomed on the little blue dot and your blood ran cold.

“She’s in Erik’s chamb— (Y/N), wait!”

Without thinking, you kicked your heels off your feet and sprinted out of the room.

“Ugh!” Shuri groaned, hopping off her brother’s desk. “Eish, what are you doing?” she watched him walk at a normal pace. “Don’t you have superhuman speed? Aren’t you going to stop her?!”

“No,” T’Challa simply shook his head.

Shuri groaned again and rolled her eyes.

They found you in front of Erik’s door, fumbling with your kimoyo beads. You placed one on the massive door and the other in your ear. You were practically fuming. Kemi was using that voice, the one she used to lure her one night stands back to her house on nights out.

“What the hell are you doing?!” you heard Erik say.

“Oh, come on, your Highness! What has it been, weeks now? A man like you must miss it.”

“I don’t wanna hurt you, man. Get off me.”

That was enough.

You barged into the room, breath heavy and nostrils flaring. Kemi was sitting on Erik’s lap as he sat on his couch. They both had a look of pure horror on their faces.

Driven by adrenaline, you yanked Kemi off your man by her puff, making her cry out in pain.

“(Y/N), it’s not what you think, I swear!” she cowered on the ground.

“No? Weren’t you just trying to seduce my boyfriend?!”

“No! I— I just wanted to—to show you he’s not trustworthy!”

“Baby, you know that’s bullshit!” Erik exclaimed from behind you.

You raised your hand to make him stop talking. He immediately thought that that was it. You’d break up with him and he’d be back to square one, but this time with no hope whatsoever.

“I can’t believe I spent all these years calling you my best friend, my sister, only for you to go around my back like this and play your twisted mind games with me!” you spat, blood boiling.

Her mask of tears and pity melted, leaving in its place a nasty scowl.

“You always had everything you wanted, everything you dreamed of was handed to you on a silver platter. Even the damned King is a your feet! So yes, I wanted something for myself. I wanted him,” she pointed her finger at Erik. “And in order to have him, I had to keep you as far back as I could.”

“Crazy ass,” Erik muttered under his breath.

As you rolled your eyes, Kemi saw an opportunity. In a flash, she was off the ground and her hand about to collide with your cheek. Instead, it was met by a golden spear.

“You do not. Lay hands. On the Princess,” Okoye, who had followed Shuri and T’Challa, warned.

Kemi huffed, her face contorted by fury. With a dark look sent your way, she stomped out of the room.

“Feel free to never come back!” Shuri yelled after her.

You thanked Okoye for her protection and she gave you a curt nod, then left followed by the royal siblings, leaving you with Erik. You turned around to face your boyfriend, hands on your hips.

“Baby, I swear, nothing happened—“

“I know,” you smiled.

Erik exhaled, relieved.

“That bitch is crazy.”

A laugh escaped your lips as you buried your face in his chest, your arms around his torso. “You can say that again. But don’t worry about it. I’m still yours if you’re still mine.”

Erik hugged you back, leaving a kiss on the top of your head. “I’m yours, baby. I ain’t going anywhere.”

A smile stretched Erik’s lips as he held you, gently rocking your bodies back and forth.

He had won the girl.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

Tags: @fonville-designs @ohliyaxoxo @bidibidibombaclaat @chaneajoyyy @heykillmongerluhme @ljstraightnochaser @deansbbysblog @honeytoffee @raysunshine78

[b-afterhours]

Avenue of Sins (part eight)

summary: a story of two misfit kids from mid-west america making it big in the big apple. and in the true sense of the american dream they find themselves in a life of sex, money, drugs, and a little rock n roll too.

warnings: adult content, mature readers only.

if you’re seeing this for the first time you can read part one here and if you need to catch up on previous chapters go here.

series playlist

authors note: thank you so much for being so patient! i can’t thank you all enough that anyone would even care so much for a new chapter. i am so grateful for you all. thank being said the series is coming to a close soon but thanks for staying on the ride!

moodboard: @bohemianfortunes thank you so much its perfect!

Days had passed yet neither of them could find significant time alone. There was no time to sneak off during club hours. And most disappointingly they didn’t have the time nor the energy at home. They would both plop into bed exhausted from the late nights and the little hours of sleep. There were times Alma would find Bill’s hand under her skirt teasing her or she would pin him to his office chair in the loft leaving small bruises on his neck with her teeth teasing each other – building up hope for something more but once home either one was too drunk to get it up or the other was too drunk to stay awake to get to that grand slam ending they desperately wanted. Effectively leaving each other sexually frustrated. The fast lifestyle of debauchery came with tons of endless fun but it did have its drawbacks and it so happened to be cutting into their nonexistent sex life at the moment.

Alma spent her work shift that evening nauseous from a hangover, trying to reach that drunken state she was at last night so that she could forget about her churning belly. Ever the clever alcoholic she thought she was, she chugged down Moscow Mule’s believing the ginger beer would help settle her stomach as she chased the buzz she craved for.

“Bundy?” She called for him. “Wanna take a shot with me?”

“Jeff,” He corrected. “But, sure what’re we having?” He said peering down the other side of the bar, eagerly rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

“I don’t know what does a killer like to drink?” She giggled feeling the drinks finally giving her a satisfyingly playful buzz.

“Oh don’t fuckin’ start Echo,” he couldn’t help but laugh just a little.

“I’ll tell you what! Tequila!” She sang sliding his shot towards him. “Cheers!” A shiver ran up her spine when the shot passed her tongue and down her throat.

Bundy sneered at the taste as he slammed the empty shot glass down. “What’s up with him?” He pointed while wiping his lips dry.

Alma didn’t bother turning to see who he was referring to because she knew he was talking about Craig. “He’s in a mood, he’s always like that,” she shrugged.

“So he usually cries?”

“What?” She whipped her head back and faced the glistening of tears brimming in his eyes as he dried drinking glasses. “Craig?” He shook his head upon hearing his name pulling him from his depressed daze as he sniffled, squaring his shoulders. “Dude, take a break you’re gonna bum everyone out looking like that out here.”

“Sorry, it’s just,” his voice cracked and his hand snapped up into a fist to hold back a sob.

“Just, go take a break,” she said gently pushing him towards the back.

Alma shook her head pouring herself another shot and shooting it back just as fast as she poured it. “I-” she frowned a bit contemplating. “That was kinda mean huh?”

“A little…” Bundy digressed.

“Shit. I’ll go check on him, I guess.”

She quickly walked down the end of the bar to see him standing at the threshold in waiting, biting his lip anxiously. “Come on you’re with me,” she said ushering him along. Queenie stepped out of the walk-in fridge with prepared garnishes in hand looking startled to see Craig there.

“He’s good,” Alma said hopping atop a prep table in the very back. “He’s taking a break let the other girls know.” Queenie nodded and hurriedly walked back to the bar as fast as her tall skinny heels would allow.

“You gonna be fine? You can go home-”

“No. Sorry but I don’t want to be there right now...” he sniffled.

Alma crossed her arms, rolling her eyes. “Veronica still giving you trouble?”

“I wish… there’s nothing to go back to,” his voice cracked again.

“What- um nothing to go to?” Alma felt her heart sink she knew what was coming but she had to act oblivious.

“She left me,” he said as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks. “She took everything. She left me like I meant nothing...”

“Shit dude. I, I’m sorry… Did she mention where she was going?”

“No,” he said shaking his head. “N-not really she uh left me a note,” he reached into his back pocket procuring his wallet and pulling out a folded up piece of notebook paper. He handed it over Alma who had to unfold it multiple times to get it open. There wasn’t much to read but she could tell by the blurred ruled blue lines that Craig had read it over and over again with his tears raining down on the paper.

Craig, I am not happy. I have to leave this life and that means leaving you. Please, understand I do not want to be found. If you ever loved me, don’t go looking for me. I’ll miss you.

Much love and kisses, Veronica.

She signed, dotting the I in her name with a small hollow heart. Even that little stylistic choice of hers annoyed Alma. Though, giving the note another once over, her writing seemed shaky and rushed. She imagined she wrote it with a Russo henchman’s pistol pressed against her temple which leads her to wonder if all the tear stains on the paper could have also been from her.

“This is it?” She said dismissively, playing along as she handed it back.

“Yeah, that’s it, that bitch. Shit, I shouldn’t say that...” he said regretfully.

“No, you can. She is a bitch for leaving with just a slip of paper with a bullshit excuse.”

“I gave her everything when I met her she had nowhere to go. I gave her a place to sleep and a fucking job at my cousin's place after she got fired from here!”

“Whoa! That’s a lie she didn’t get fired, she walked out.”

“Are you serious? She told me Bill practically threw her out of this place.” Alma shook her head. “That’s another thing, Bill! Fucking Bill!”

“Okay, you need to be careful with how you talk about him,” she warned.

“She– you see this part?” He pointed near the end of the letter. “Much love and kisses, my ass!? Not even an ‘I love you’? It’s like she physically can’t because she’s always been hung up over Bill… No matter what, I knew she couldn’t really love me because she was still thinking about him!” He began to pace as he grew angrier. “She always blamed you for that you know? She’s so fucking jealous over that guy. And especially you, she swore I’d retaliate by getting to you...”

“There’s a lot you’re saying here and quite frankly I’m a little lost,” Alma took a deep breath trying to take full use of what was left of her sober mind. “But I get it, okay. But Blondie is crazy and selfish. You didn’t deserve that or how she treated you. Alright,” she sighed unsure want to do about the emotional and dispirited man before her. “Just chill back here for a bit and calm down.” She hopped off the table and held her arms out in a sorry invitation for a hug. “Look, I’m really bad at comforting people I don’t know what else to do?”

Craig solemnly nodded walking into her embrace. His shoulders started to quiver as he was full-on sobbing again. Alma had to push against his weight to keep herself from crumbling from it. She rolled her eyes as she awkwardly patted his back. “It’s gonna be alright Craig,” she sighed. Suddenly she felt incredibly regretful more so than she had ever been. Bill and she had been systematically fucking up his life right at the time they were supposed to end it. They were the scummiest assholes on earth. It made her feel no different than the peers who tormented them in high school. Maybe, it’s how they learned to be so good at it?

Craig straightened up, wiping his nose with the inside of his work shirt. “Thanks and sorry,” he said wiping the tears that had landed on her bare shoulder. “It’s hard when you love someone and they don’t love you back no matter what you do. You know?”

Alma frowned, “Sadly I do.” Her heart ached to admit that. “But you’re gonna be okay, I promise,” and then it cracked ever so slightly speaking comfort to a dead man.

“He’s so stupid. There’s no reason he shouldn’t love you look at you!”

“He loves me just… not like that.”

“I could.”

Alma’s eyes widened for a moment before looking away uncomfortably at his statement. “That’s nice of you Craig but-”

“Sorry, but I’m serious you’re beautiful.”

“Beautiful doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she muttered.

Awkward tension filled the air. Alma turned her gaze up at him. His black curls falling on his forehead and his eyes were a shade of hazel surrounded by dark enviously long lashes. The longer she stood there she could feel the alcohol taking its effect on her and her sense leaving. Yet, oddly she felt seen by him in that they could commiserate in their respective unrequited love.

“You gonna go for it or?” He lifted a suggestive brow.

“Go for what,” she asked shifting between feet though there was a coy glimmer in her eye. And when he gently glided his hand on her hip she didn’t stop him. And when he had pressed her against haphazardly stacked, teetering shipment boxes she didn’t stop him. She felt like she was out of her body and out of her mind for letting him put her in this compromising position where they could be caught at any moment by anyone. Yet when he got down on his knees, his hands pushing up the sleek black dress she was wearing while he peppered kisses on her warm inner thighs she still didn’t stop him.

With his face buried between her thighs, she peered every so often through the cracks between boxes making sure no one was nearing the door. The more he delved his tongue into her she completely forgot where she was and what she was doing and who she was doing it with. Though in the back of her mind, her nagging conscious was reminding her how utterly wrong it all was yet it only served to entice her further.

Craig harshly gripped on her thighs to keep her from roughly grinding on his face and finally when his tongue flipped back to the pulsing nerve she let out an audible moan that she had been trying so hard to keep from slipping past her lips. She hooked a leg over his shoulder and gripped on to the curls on his head pushing his face closer as she neared a euphoric high that she had been missing for some time. The sexual tension she had been dealing with melting away with every flick of his tongue.

“D-don’t stop,” she muttered, breathlessly.

Craig stopped, backing his head away with a defiant smirk on his face. “Not so fast little birdie. What are you going to do for me?”

“What?”

“We’ve gotten this far?”

“I don’t… We shouldn’t even be fucking doing this,” she shook her head.

He stood up, pressing his hardness against where his tongue once was, working her to near climax before denying her of that and ruining it for a shot of a little something for himself. She shuttered desperate to reach an end she had been craving.

“I’ll let you finish on my cock?” He whispered in her ear as he snaked his hand under her dress toying with her. She didn’t respond afraid if she agreed to anything or so much say a word he’d stop his fingers like he did with his tongue. “Oh you’re a naughty, selfish thing aren’t you? You want to come first, huh?” All she could do was nod as she mewled and whimpered with his two fingers teasingly working inside her. “But I want to be inside you. Filling you up with more than just my fingers. Don’t you want that?”

There was a slight noise over by the door startling them which prompted them to quickly pull away. It would have been blatantly obvious to anyone that they had been up to something but to their relief it was only just the sound of the AC kicking on and a gust of wind, tussling the tassels of the vinyl strip door.

The very realization that they could have been caught brought Alma to her senses. She only wanted to come but she didn’t want to reciprocate it. Suddenly she felt foolish. Deep down she knew Craig was a perv’ and the fact that the whole situation could go south was a possibility. Knowing what happened to Kansas had her on edge. Yet when she suggested they should go back to work, he nodded but only under the assurance that there could be another chance with her. It was a lie but it worked for her plenty of other times and gave her enough space to successfully ghost. With Craig working with her, though, it was a bit trickier to do her classic disappearing act. But it would have to suffice for now.

“Um, you go out first,” she said patting him on the back awkwardly like some little league player at the end of a game. One whose team lost terribly.

Once she was alone she quickly adjusted her dress back to her body and then ran her hands through her hair angry with herself. She paced in the same space Craig had for a moment chewing on her lip aggravated at herself for being a, “big stupid slut”. While shaking her arms out and taking a deep breath she noticed her tequila buzz was fading and only made her want to down a whole bottle now.

As Alma was just about to step out when she saw Bill held up by a customer near the bar through the janky strip doors cracks. The fact that he wasn’t at his usual spot at the VIP booth indicated that he had noticed her absence or maybe her security, Paul and Rashad informed him, either way, it was just as bad. She paused, taking two steps back on her high heels and quickly leaned down towards a box of dusty expired bottles of grenadine where she kept her own rainy day stash of coke. It made for a good a cover, once Bill moseyed his way to the back he’d find her doing blow and suspect she had been back there going bump for bump. Needless to say, she needed one anyway.

“There you are,” he smiled sweetly with such a boyish charm that usually would make her swoon but she could hardly look him in the eyes. “I was hoping you had one busted out. I need a hit bad.” He said leaning against the wall beside him. “I forget everyone here is so loaded they’re too chatty and I need to be on their level to pretend I give a fuck what they’re saying,” he laughed.

“Imagine being the bartender?” She said sniffing a bump she scooped with her pinkie nail. “I hear it all night from drunks and coke heads.”

Bill leaned down to take a bump that Alma had prepared the nail on her little finger, inhaling sharply he tilted his head back for a moment. “I heard Craig was back here crying?” He lifted a brow.

“Uh, yeah,” Alma diverted her eyes back to the small pink baggie digging in for another bump as a way to avoid his eyes. “Didn’t you hear from Joey? She’s gone?”

“Blondie,” Bill whispered. “Really? Like gone, gone? I left my beeper in the loft so I haven’t seen if I got a page.”

“We can talk about it there later. But yeah...” She said sniffing another bump feeling the familiar satisfying tingles surging up and down the back of her neck.

“Maybe we should go to the loft now? It’s kinda slow out there?” He said with his hand grazing the same side of her hip that Craig had.

“Uh, I can’t I-I started,” she lied. There was no way she was going to let him touch her without showering off Craig’s touch from her body first.

“Your period?” She replied to him with a nod

. “Already?” He said surprised. The shitty thing about having him as a roommate is that he knew her cycle pretty well. “You know I don’t care?”

“I know. I just feel, gross?”

“It’s fine. I get it,” he digressed. “Girls,” he sighed.

…

That whole night she felt awkward tension working around Craig, trying to weave by him and avoid eye contact with him as humanly possible. She leaned on the bar near Bundy again, listening and not listening to his drunken babbling. Her main focus was on Bill just behind him in a booth speaking with a few Wall Street businessmen, sharing beers with them looking like they were talking money. She found herself enamored with him, just as she was when they first became friends and again when she first arrived in New York meeting him again. He always had an air of confidence that she admired and wish she had. Those years she spent growing into her twenties without him she mimicked his tough yet smooth exterior the best she could remember it then. She lived on her own, alone in St. Louis before moving to New York City so she didn’t need anyone to see her as a vulnerable target, someone to mess with just because she was a girl. She walked like she was six foot three when on the inside she was just a girl wanting to be seen, wanting to be someone and wanting to be loved, truly loved. But that was pussy shit she thought, that didn’t fit with the punk rock quota she lived by. But she was an adult in nearing her late twenties, punk rock – the real punk rock – died years ago with a slacked jaw, with the bloodshot whites of its eyes on show and needle stuck in the crux of its elbow just like those who pioneered it. The lifestyle was starting to feel tired and music – real music that had initially brought Alma to Bill was gone. And whatever bullshit was playing on MTV just wasn’t the same.

She sipped on her drink pulling herself out of her own deprecating thoughts wishing for a shower and wishing Bill was the one eating her out in the back room earlier. Maybe then she would have came. In fact, she knew she would have and that part made her angry with herself. Letting Craig get a piece of her and she got nothing in return for it. When it came to transactional hookups it was against everything she stood for.

~~~

The first time Alma and Bill hooked up was strange. Strange, though they both knew it was a long time coming. Yet it still felt unexpected and afterward, she was scared she fucked up the very friendship she lived and moved her whole life for. It was a night like any old night at Trigger Finger, she had been living in the city for a full year and they were in the loft tired yet laughing about something stupid she did at a frat party her freshman year of college back home. It was just the two of them sitting on the couch next to each other when he held her hand after stubbing out the cigarette they shared. Alma didn’t think much about the gesture knowing he had been drinking but inside she felt her heart soar feeling seventeen again even with such a simple act.

“Only you could get some frat losers to kiss each other to get a chance at you.”

“A chance they never got!” She said laughing with him.

He looked at her almost with a seriousness hadn’t been for the smile still on his face. “I’m so happy you’re here,” he sighed. “It’s nice to talk to someone that actually knows me, you know?”

“Me too,” she sheepishly agreed.

“All of this,” he spun his finger in the air. “It’s nice but it’s so,” his eyes wandered scanning the ceiling for the right word, “I don’t know, repetitive? Sometimes I guess, lonely?” He shook his head feeling uncomfortably vulnerable even with his best friend. “Maybe that’s why an old broad like Myrna kept my company?”

At that time Alma had only known the surface level of his friendship with the previous owner of the club so she only replied with a simple nod. Alma had no idea that he talked constantly about her to his old friend and that she told him a day like this would come when they’d be together again. He didn’t believe it would happen but here she was. He knew better than to doubt old Myrna she was never wrong about anything. But even with her right by his side at that very moment, even though she had been there for a whole year now it was still hard for him to wrap his head around. Bill leaned into her, his head resting atop of hers.

“Are you ready to go home? Should I drive?” She asked.

“’M not drunk, just sleepy,” he yawned. “Come, I’m fine to drive,” he said swiftly rising to his feet and pulling her along with him.

The rain that had been weighing heavily in the dark clouds above the city came free-falling down halfway through their commute and was now pinging off the car's roof and streaming down the windshield in a blurry wet sheet. It was clearly not letting up anytime soon. He turned the car keys cutting the engine off but letting them sit idle in the ignition. Alma looked out the passenger window to the level she remembered their apartment stood and reached for her door handle ready to jet inside and into her warm bed until Bill gently rested his hand on her knee prompting her to wait.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said shaking his head as he looked away and out the windshield watching the rain flow down distorting and diffusing out the street lights and office lights from the skyscrapers ahead in thought. There was certainly something on his mind and she knew it had been swimming in his head since before they left loft at the club. “Remember the night before I left Strathburg?” He finally said.

“Yeah? We hung out on the school bleachers baked as hell ‘til the sun came up,” she lightly laughed.

“Yeah,” he bashfully chucked. “But after, when I took you back home?”

“When uh-”

“When I kissed you,” he said turning to look at her with his striking green-eyed gaze, how they still glowed in the minimal light. The little space between them shrunk despite them not moving an inch. Their eyes were locked gauging on what the other might do or say until Bill took it upon himself to speak. “I think about it still,” he admitted. “I think about why it took me so long to do that?”

“Really?” Alma said in disbelief. “Why did it take so long?”

“Alma,” he softly whined. “Don’t make this any cornier than it is.”

“Okay? So what are you trying to say? That you want to kiss me again?” She retorted. “If you want to kiss me then do it.”

“Just like that, huh?” He said reaching over, his single large hand holding her face in place. Lightly, he pressed her cheeks together pushing her lips into a pucker and then he leaned in firmly planting a kiss on her lips. It felt as if they were transported back to that day many years ago in his brothers' borrowed car outside her old humble home in Strathburg, Missouri. Though this time they let their hands roam as the kiss deepened no longer hindered by the adolescent bashfulness that held them back finally adding the feelings they had meant the first time their lips met. Before they had realized Alma had shimmied her way on to his lap facing him while his hands were under her shirt at the ready to unclasp her bra until she awkwardly fumbled back in the tight space causing her bottom to lay on the horn by accident. His hands snapped pulling her away as they laughed.

“Shit sorry,” she said softly. “Scoot your chair back.”

“It’s already pushed back as far as it can go… Should we go inside?” He said watching her hands work to undo his buckle.

“I don’t want to wait,” she whined kissing his neck, soft yet stubbed with hair, making him groan. “At least lean the chair all the way back?”

“But in the car?”

“We can do it how you want inside once we’re done in here,” she smirked wiggling to lift her dress over her hips eager for him to finally give in to what they both desired.

“Already thinking of round two before the first starts?” He said cocking a brow with a smirk of his own as his hand cupped her making her shudder at his touch at the most sensitive part of her. He was at first hesitant, considering what the implications would be if hooking up with his childhood friend could mean ruining that very relationship. But that thought went out the window along with his senses when his fingers pulled her panties aside and felt how wet she was for him. She sighed at his touch, needily bucking her hips for more. “Fuck,” he whispered.

“I want you inside me already,” she whispered closely to his ear. “Don’t you want to feel me already too?” Though she sounded confidently eager, her heart was pounding nervously in her chest. Coaxing him and herself to merge in one quickly before either she or he could change their mind thinking better than to muddy the lines of their friendship.

Bill leaned back fumbling with the button of his jeans with Alma’s help she pulled his briefs down enough to expose him and stroking him only a few times before she crawled up the chair into a position comfortable enough within the tight space to line herself up with him. She hovered above with her head bent pressing against the ceiling of the car.

“Holy fuck,” Bill said under his breath looking down with lust lidded eyes as she slowly inched down at first adjusting to his size until she sank down. “Oh fuck!” He said clamping his hands to her waist to keep her from moving right then afraid he might end up a two-pump chump. He held her there to keep himself distracted enough to calm himself down but raised a hand to her neck pulling her down for a passionate kiss to satiate her. A slow-building shiver went up Alma’s spine feeling full of him and feeling the twitches of his cock with every slight movement she made.

Leaning back she slowly rocked her hips as much as he would allow while trying to take his restricting hands off her waist and coax them to her breasts but he wouldn’t loosen them. She took a glance at him and began to giggle at his intensely focused expression. “Are we gonna just sit here like this?” She said playfully.

“If you move too much the cars going to start rocking...”

“Are you worried about that or that fact that you’re about to bust?” They both began to chuckle, the awkward feelings and nervousness melting away. “Would you rather go inside?”

“No! Fuck no,” he said sitting up slightly to get his feet as flat on the floorboard that he could, “not yet.” He wrapped his arms around her now and began thrusting upward causing Alma to yelp at the abrupt feeling. The car was rocking only minutes under the veil of water until. It. Stopped still.

“Did you come? Shit, I’m sorry,” he panted.

Shaking her head she said, “And you came all over my dress and, somehow shot the window kinda...” Despite the pitter patter of pouring rain, there was thick silence inside the car until they began to uproariously laugh louder than the thunder.

“Jesus Christ… I swear that doesn’t hap-”

“Make it up to me inside,” she said opening the car door, sliding off him, and darting out into the torrential rain.

Before he could even have time to dwell on how his whole mind and body reverted to being a teen boy again, Bill followed getting soaked in the rain, jogging after her as she took the lead up the five flights of stairs pretending to chase after her until closing in on her skipping steps two at a time with his long capable legs. She was laughing the whole way until he grabbed a hold of her just down the hallway from their place already tearing away at their wet clinging clothing before the door could even be unlocked. He made it up to Alma tenfold up until very early in the morning exhausting themselves. Having each other every which way, hard, fast, slow. They had every intention to go for another round when taking another break but their resting eyes had stayed closed as they slept comfortably in each other's arms.

Bill had woke long before her, had already taken a shower and was bring her a cup of coffee for her and himself to bed when he stopped at the threshold. She was still soundly asleep, sunken into the plush bed with wild hair and her naked chest exposed. He couldn’t help but think she was so beautiful and then dreadfully wondered if maybe he had fucked everything up. What if she woke up deciding that she had made a mistake being with him. That she didn’t see him the same anymore. That a line was crossed that he couldn’t take back. But worse he was worried that when she woke, the same thoughts he was having would race through her mind as well.

He quietly walked to his side of the bed and sat down gently putting his cup down on the nightstand after a sip. He took his free hand pushing her unruly hair out of her face, stirring her softly awake. She blinked her bleary eyes and the corners of her lips turned up happy to see him there presenting the coffee for her to drink. He’s still here? She thought, used to waking up alone after a romp with someone or vice versa. She had the same thoughts as he did for a moment while she slowly sat up taking the mug from his hand and then set it down next to his after a few sips and a scalded tongue. She plopped down again, her body tired, ghosts of his hands still lingering on her flesh.

“You okay?” He asked trying to read her face for regret or disappointment, anything but she kept looking at everything but him. If she would just look at him he’d know he’d have nothing to worry about. The eyes never lie.

“I am. Are you?” She said finally looking him in the eyes searching as well.

Flashes of what they did to each other’s bodies, molding and joining, biting and caressing coming forth flooding in their minds they hadn’t even realized their lips met again for more.

~~~

When Alma laid in her bed alone she kept thinking how much of an idiot she was for her incident with Craig. She hated wanting Bill more than he was willing to give her. She wanted his exclusivity yet she was going off making herself into a fool seeking validation through other men whom she knew wouldn’t ever give her that. She didn’t want that from them either yet she put herself in those situations regardless. 

When she broke apart from Bill to sleep in her bed without him, he didn’t bother to convince her to join him instead like he always did. He was tired she could tell but paranoia joined her regretful thoughts. Did he know? Did he suspect? How could he? He’d never think she’d do a thing like that. Not his best friend. Not his Alma...

tags: @dreamtherapy @bskarsgardlove92 @tinygayfungi@skarswhat @nutinanutshell @xskarsgardx @reinamysterio @darling-dearest-desired@erika-beau-berika @fine-i-suppose @corlin90 @codependentcellist @loveforbillskasgard@kikilikes @twosupergayghosts @umbriellethenightfall @tigers-pat @billullabies

(please let me know whether you’d like to be added/removed from tags)

[jbbarnesnnoble]

Where the Moonlight Shines (Part Two)

Summary:  You’re a junior deputy in Hope County, Montana when things go to hell in a handbasket with the local cult. It’s months before help arrives in the form of the Avengers, taking you down a road you never expected.

Features: Violence; Depiction of torture; Murder; Mind control

Pairing: TBD

Series Warnings: Canon typical violence; depictions/mentions of torture; depictions/mentions of brainwashing; will add more as they become relevant

Notes: This part contains the death of a minor, mentions and depictions of torture, discussion of mind control, and canon typical violence

We meet the Avengers in the part while exploring a little bit of what Rook has gone through

This is a crossover between Far Cry 5 and the MCU

Word Count: 4302

You lost count of the days. They all blurred together. You had been taken by John first when you were stirring things up in the region. John Seed, the baptist, the one meant to make you confess your sins. You had refused time and time again, until one day you didn’t. It was torture, literal torture. While you healed at an accelerated rate compared to others, you refused to heal yourself, refused to reveal what they already knew. You had sacrificed yourself for Joey, day in and day out. You didn’t want her to suffer, not when you knew you could handle it, handle the pain.

“Are you ready to confess, Deputy? Ready to say yes, to be freed from your sins?” John asked, his tone calm. You glared at him. You hated him, hated how he drew out the word ‘deputy’ every time he spoke to you. It had become a routine. You had bruises still healing from where he hit you, cuts that were still bleeding, in spite of your accelerated healing.

“Confess what? That I was just living my life, doing my job until you and your family came in and fucked everything up?” you asked. You knew that would enrage him. You were past caring. You were chained to a chair and your words were your only available weapon.

“Your hubris, your pride, your wrath. I know what your sins are, my dear. But do you? I don’t enjoy hurting you. No, no. But I must. Because, you. Must. Confess. You must atone, and the path to atonement is paved with pain,” he said as he paced around. He went to his toolbox. You loathed it. You craved the sunlight, the fresh air, anything other than the dark bunker that stank of blood and death. You refused to flinch as he moved toward you with the ice pick. He had figured out you healed fast. As far as you knew, it was the one thing keeping you alive, the one thing that kept him from killing you outright aside from whatever orders he had been given.

You refused to scream as he drove the ice pick into your leg. He knew how to maximize the pain without causing you to bleed out. You refused to give in until he threatened Joey again. In the end, he marked you after you said yes to save Joey once more, ‘wrath’ had been tattooed across your chest before the flesh was ripped from you. You had forced yourself not to react as he did it, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing you in pain. It took everything you had not to scream out.

The day you broke, the day you said yes, was burned into your memory like no other experience through all of the things that had happened since the night of the attempted arrest. It plagued your dreams when you managed to sleep. The scene twisting into something more horrific each time.

You almost wished to be back in the bunker now. You had figured you had been there for a month, maybe a little longer, before you ended up breaking out and getting away. You had spent time in John’s region stirring up trouble as a ‘fuck you’ to the man before crossing the Henbane River to deal with Faith and her bliss. Bliss. You hated the stuff. It was a potent hallucinogen.

She had ensnared you in it. You had almost lost yourself in it before Tracey found you. An adrenaline shot was the only way to get you out of it. Faith had shown you destruction, had shown you Joseph’s supposed vision. You still hadn’t been able to get Burke away. Part of you wasn’t sure you wanted to. You blamed him for lighting the powder keg that set it all in motion while Joseph insisted it was you, always you. You were the harbinger, the one who set it in motion with one simple action. You headed for the Whitetails after being pulled from the Bliss. You knew torture awaited you in Holland Valley and you didn’t want to know what would happen if you ended up deep in the Bliss again.

You met the Whitetail Militia when you made it to the Whitetails. You knew Tammy Barnes didn’t trust you one bit. Not at first. Not until you and Jess Black killed the Cook.

“That didn’t feel like I thought it would,” Jess admitted as the two of you scavenged the site where the Cook had set up shop. He had killed her family. Jess had suffered at his hand. You placed a hand on her shoulder and she turned toward you, not meeting your gaze.

“Look at me Jess,” you said. For a moment you thought she wasn’t going to, until she lifted her head up, her eyes meeting yours.

“I don’t know what I expected,” she said.

“Revenge rarely does what we think it will. You think you’ll feel stronger, that you’ll feel vindicated, that the suffering you went through, it won’t matter anymore because the boogeyman who hurt you is gone and can’t hurt anyone anymore. Truth is, revenge doesn’t change shit. You still went through hell, kid. You still have to heal. Maybe it’ll be a bit easier now. Maybe it won’t be. But he won’t hurt anyone ever again,” you said.

“I won’t rest easy at night until the son of a bitch responsible for this all is dead and buried,” she said.

“Which one?” you asked.

“All of them,” she said.

Jess was young. She was strong. She had seen far too much for her age. She was there when you had been caught by Jacob’s Chosen the second time. You had told her to run after Jacob’s warning came over your radio. For once, she listened to you. You had felt an arrow pierce your leg and the next thing you fully remembered was waking up to see bodies around you, blood on the ground at the bottom of a steep drop. It was the game Jacob played. You weren’t sure what it was then, but he triggered something in you, and after that things went blank. You never remembered what it was, not until you’d been in the Whitetails for long enough that it became clear. He let you go. You knew that. Of the three Seeds who ran the regions while Joseph hid away on his  island, Jacob was the scariest.

For the past three months, you had been at the mercy of Jacob. It had been five months since the botched arrest. He was your nightmares in human form. You dreaded seeing that music box. You dreaded hearing the opening notes of ‘Only You’. Whatever he had done to you, that song triggered it. You had learned to comply before he needed to use it. It was easier that way and you hated it. Absolutely hated it. He had toyed with you, letting you escape after each trial before bringing you back. He still used it when he had a specific task for you, one he didn’t want to risk your non-compliance on.

Eli was one of those tasks. Eli led the Whitetail Militia. The militia were a key part of the Resistance in Hope County. Jacob had intended to kill you after you killed Eli, but he had changed his mind. He had called Eli your sacrifice. But he wasn’t. You were a means to an end. The only one in his mind who could kill Eli. What better way to demoralize the Whitetails than to lose their leader, demoralize the Resistance than to have their savior, their leader be the one to pull the trigger.

The real test came with Ryan. Sweet Ryan. Your baby cousin, the son of your aunt, Rae-Rae. You wondered if having you kill Ryan was some sort of sick retribution. You swore you’d die to protect Ryan. He had been holed up safely with some Resistance members after the death of Rae-Rae at the hand of some Peggies who wanted Boomer, their dog.

Ryan was barely a teenager. Where Eli was a sacrifice, Ryan was the true test once Jacob decided he still had a use for you, that your purpose hadn’t just been to demoralize the Whitetail Militia, that you were not as weak as he had thought once Eli was out of the picture. And that was a dangerous thing for you.

“Cull the herd,” Jacob said. You stood, your body not your own. The only thing you saw was a faceless body, almost like a mannequin. A target. You didn’t hear the screams. You didn’t hear Ryan’s happiness at seeing you turn into horror as you turned your gun on him. One shot.

As he hit the ground the red haze receded. Your eyes widened when you saw him. You ran toward him, tears stinging your eyes.

“Good job, pup. I’ll be calling for you soon,” Jacob’s voice came over your radio. You sobbed as you held Ryan, his breathing slowing to a stop.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” you cried, his blood staining your clothes and your hands. You found a shovel by the garage. You had swung by Rae-Rae’s on your way from checking in on the Rye’s. Kim was pregnant and you worried about her, especially when they decided to stay in Hope County. Rae-Rae’s had become a have for you. Your haven now became your hell, a reminder of what you did. You buried Ryan next to his mother, moving a heavy rock to mark it,  along with a piece of wood you carved his name into with your knife. Boomer found you there, along with Sharky Boshaw, who was one of your closest allies.

“Shit Dep, what happened?” Sharky asked, kneeling beside you. You just shook your head as he pulled you into a hug.

You knew you could no longer go to the militia after that day. They understood it wasn’t your fault, but you knew your continued association would only put them at risk. Tammy had tried to talk you out of it, mentioning her distant cousin, that despite what had been done to him, he was still a hero. For all the suspicions she’d had about you at the start, Tammy Barnes trusted you, even after everything. But you didn’t trust yourself.

You stopped trying to escape, trying to run. You had learned the consequences after the first few times you attempted escape, attempted to assert yourself. It had taken weeks for the bruises to fade and the injuries to heal. Your accelerated healing could only do so much, especially when you were being starved. No food meant little energy, and it took a lot of energy to heal.

Jacob knew what your powers were and you were always by his side. You hated it, hated him. A few run ins with the Resistance had you healing him, even if it was the last thing you wanted to do. You were determined to make it out of this, no matter the cost. Jacob had you go with a patrol that morning and you took your chance to run after wrestling a weapon away from one of his Chosen, his most trusted soldiers. You found a car that worked and sped off to Rye Aviation.

You felt relief as you saw the familiar sign. You pulled up and parked the car. The sound of you arriving had drawn someone out of the house.

“Dep? Oh my god, Dep it’s really you!” Nick said as he approached the car with a gun drawn. Nick Rye was an ally, a friend. He owned the airfield and provided air support for you, when you weren’t being held captive by the Seeds. You knew it wasn’t a fluke that let you get away. If you had managed to get away, it was because Jacob let you. The realization didn’t sit well with you.

“It’s me. I’m home,” you said softly. You knew you looked beat up and broken. There was no way you didn’t. It seemed like everyone was there. Kim was there, looking like she was going to give birth any day now. Hurk was there with Sharky Boshaw. Sharky. One of your favorite people since everything started. Even if he was a wanted pyromaniac before everything kicked off, he was a useful ally, funny too. Grace Armstrong, the army sniper you’d helped out. Adelaide, who was Hurk’s mom stood with her favored boytoy of the moment.

“Good to see you Rook,” Grace said.

“Good to see you too,” you said. You found yourself pulled into hugs, saying hello to the people you hadn’t seen in so long. You were home.

“Had me real worried for a second amiga,” Sharky said.

“Yeah. I know,” you said, taking a sip of the beer that had been handed to you once everything settled. It may have been the end of the world, but damn, if there wasn’t a stockpile of alcohol to throw a party at the end of it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One month later, Upstate New York

The Avengers were gathered in a conference room. Fury had arrived at the compound that morning with an urgent briefing.

“We’ve received word from the US Marshals that one of their agents, Cameron Burke, has been reported missing. He was meant to arrest Joseph Seed six months ago,” Fury said.

“Five months and they haven’t heard from him? Why are they only now doing something about it?” Natasha asked.

“That’s where things get strange. The Marshals received his resignation two days after the arrest was supposed to happen. Burke had been insistent on bringing this Joseph Seed in and then wanted to drop all charges and resign. The Marshals office is such a mess and Seed considered such a low level threat that they brushed it off. Until now. New information has cropped up,” Fury said. The team looked at the information in front of them. Profiles on the brothers, on people associated with the Project.

“Where do we come in?” Steve asked, arms crossed. This didn’t seem like something that warranted the Avengers involvement.

“Records show Hope County has become a dark zone. No communications in or out of the county except by specific encoded communications locations in four different locations. After the Marshals requested the help of the Avengers, we tapped into the communications and we’ve been able to intercept radio traffic. There’s a war going on in that county and Joseph Seed is determined to win it. Project at Eden’s Gate is a doomsday cult with Joseph Seed as their prophet. We have reason to believe he has gotten his hands on weapons of mass destruction with alien origin,” Fury said.

“There’s a catch, there has to be,” Tony said.

“From what we’ve gathered, Joseph’s brothers are his so called heralds, along with a young woman by the name of Rachel Jessop, who now goes by Faith Seed. According to intercepted transmissions, youngest brother John is called the Baptist and is responsible for getting confessions out of converts, whether they’re willing or not. We don’t know what that entails.

Oldest brother Jacob is former army, served in the Gulf War. He runs their defense and we have reason to believe he’s using some kind of mental conditioning.

This so called Faith is manufacturing a potent drug called Bliss. We have no idea what it’s effects are. When you enter the region, you will need to proceed with caution. Radio chatter indicates they have an enhanced individual in the region. They call her Rook. We don’t know much, whether she’s working for the Project or the Resistance. The messages are confusing. But treat this Rook with caution,” Maria said. The team sat in silence, contemplating what they had just been told.

“Do we know if Hydra is involved?” Natasha asked.

“We don’t know for sure. They had to get those weapons from somewhere. If not Hydra then there is another threat we need to be on alert for,” Fury said. The team sat in contemplation for a moment.

“What do we need to prepare for? Do we have a contact?” Steve asked.

“Be prepared for anything. You leave in three hours. We have a contact in the region, Hurk Drubman Junior. He’s a little...rough around the edges but he’ll be able to give you a run down if you can find him,” Maria said. Bucky’s head snapped up. Drubman, why did that name sound so familiar? A photo of the man in question was brought up on the screen. Bucky squinted at it. He cursed under his breath when he made the connection. Of course it was him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Avengers touched down at an airfield. A man greeted them with a gun that he lowered once he saw who they were. He still kept his guard up as the group approached. Steve introduced himself and the team.

“Nick, Nick Rye,” the man said.

“Do you know where we can find Hurk--,” Steve was cut off by the sound of an explosion and laughter.

“Drubman? Yeah, he and his cousin are here. What’re you looking for him for?” Nick asked as they walked toward the house.

“We were told Mr. Drubman would be able to assist us,” Natasha said. She was taking in the surroundings. Smoke rose in the distance as a statue stood smoldering. They were led into the house. It seemed like a party was going on.

“Some might says it’s distasteful to celebrate the death of someone, but they’ve never met those damn Seeds,” Nick said.

“They’re dead?” Natasha asked.

“John is, the so called baptist. Dep killed him today after...anyway, the important thing is that fucker is dead as dead can be and the people he was keepin’ prisoner are free. Joey Hudson is restin’ up. Damn Peggies had her for months,” he said.

“Peggies?” Wanda asked.

“S’what we call members of the Project. Project at Eden’s Gate, PEG, Peggies,” Nick said. The group looked at Steve. Realization seemed to cross Nick’s face.

“Aw hell, your lady back in the 40s was--” Nick started to say before Natasha cut him off.

“Agent Carter was named Peggy yes. And she was a hell of a lot more than the Captain’s lady,” Natasha said.

“Right, right, sorry,” Nick said, looking properly admonished. He led them to where everyone was gathered and made introductions. It was time to plan.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You excused yourself from the room, feeling overwhelmed by how many people were there. You knew it was only a matter of time before Jacob was going to call you back. He was bound to be furious. You knew when he let you go he didn’t think you’d get that far, didn’t think you’d kill his baby brother. You may have escaped but you knew it was because he let you, a sick game of cat and mouse. You jumped when you heard a floorboard creek on the porch. It was Wanda Maximoff.

“Sorry, I did not realize someone was out here,” she said.

“It’s fine, you’re fine. It was just...overwhelming in there,” you said. She nodded.

“You...you are not okay,” she said.

“My home is under siege by a murderous doomsday cult. I’ve been tortured, shot at, almost killed, and held captive by them and I’m currently engaged in a cat and mouse game with the Project. Yeah. I’d say I’m not okay,” you snapped. You took a breath. She had nothing to do with it. Guilt set in.

“Sorry...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” you said. She touched your arm and you flinched. Touch that wasn’t inflicting pain was something you were adjusting to.

“You are dealing with a lot,” she said. You nodded. The two of you sat in silence for a bit. Your thoughts drifted to that morning. John had crossed the line and you made your final move against him. You had hoped you could subdue him, take him alive, make him face justice for what he’d done. But that wasn’t how things went.

“Face it, Deputy. Joseph is right. You cannot change that,” John taunted over the radio. You were chasing him down in a plane. You knew it was only going to end one way.

“Want to bet?” you asked. You managed to damage the wing of his plane enough that it went careening out of the sky. You hadn’t anticipated him having a parachute. You landed Carmina and took off on foot in the direction you’d seen John descending in. A firefight ensued and he was leaning against a car while sat on the ground.

“I never thought it would go this far, you know,” he said, his breathing labored.

“Is this your deathbed confession?” you asked, your gun trained on him.

“We both know...if you wanted to save me right now...you could Deputy. You’re just...as much of a monster...as I am. At least I acknowledge my sins,” he said.

Wanda sat beside you, a comforting hand on your back, rubbing circles as you lost yourself in your thoughts. You glanced at her.

“What if, what if there are no winners here? What if we’re all just monsters masquerading as heros?” you asked her. She tilted her head to the side.

“You worry about the destruction and pain caused by your hand,” she said. You nodded. She sighed.

“I’ve been there too. If we don’t do what we do, the outcome may be worse than if we do something. It isn’t you’re fault you’re in this position,” she said. You nodded. The two of you sat in silence for a while longer before standing up to go back in the house.

You walked into the house to see an interesting scene. Bucky Barnes and Hurk were stood in opposite corners. Bucky had a gun aimed at Hurk, who just had a wide smile on his face. Clint Barton had a bowl of popcorn he was sharing with Nick, Jess, and Grace. Kim was glaring at both men. Steve had stepped between them while Natasha and Tony seemed to be taking bets on what would happen.

“I knew it! I knew the Winter Soldier was after me!” Hurk yelled. You wondered what you had missed while you were outside talking with Wanda.

“What the hell is going on in here?” you asked. Everyone turned toward you.

“Hurk being Hurk,” Kim said. You sighed.

“Hurk go...blow something up with Sharky. Stop agitating someone who probably knows five hundred different ways to kill you without using a gun,” you snapped. You loved your friends, you did, but god, did they do stupid things sometimes. You smiled a little to yourself. A small shred of normalcy in the chaos.

After getting the Avengers set up and settled, you gathered the Resistance core around the fire outside. The Avengers were surely resting or making their own preparations. You’d be discussing a game plan come morning.

“What’re you thinking Dep?” Nick asked.

“We need a contingency plan. There’s no way Jacob doesn’t call me back. Sooner rather than later. For our sake, I hope it’s before we make any plans with the Avengers. I don’t know what I’m like when I’m under, not fully. I remember bits and pieces,” you said.

“What are you getting at Dep?” Grace asked.

“If it comes down to it, you need to take me out. I won’t be in control. I try to fight it, but it’s hard. I haven’t been able to snap myself out of it,” you told them.

“No, not happening amiga. We’re not killing ya,” Sharky said.

“Sharky. You may not have a choice,” you snapped.

“There’s always a choice!” Jess yelled.

“Would you keep it down? We don’t need to be alerting our guests to our plans here. Not this one,” you said, glaring at her.

“Rook, what you’re asking us to do,” Nick said.

“It’s a sacrifice. I’m a weakness. You need to cull the herd,” you explained.

“Cull the herd? Sacrifice? Weakness? For fucks sake Rook, do you hear yourself? You’re spouting off Jacob’s rhetoric!” Jess said. You ran a hand through your hair and started pacing, unaware of the person listening in to the conversation going on. Bucky Barnes lurked in the shadow, eavesdropping on what was going on. It wasn’t that the Avengers didn’t trust the Resistance. They wanted all the information they could get to plan their attack. They knew there was no keeping the Resistance out of the fight. This was their fight, not the Avengers. They had been the ones keeping hope alive for six months.

“It doesn’t matter. If you don’t take me out...I don’t see people, Jess. I see targets. I see targets I need to take out. I don’t...I can’t hurt you, any of you. And if you don’t take me out the first chance you get if I’m not in control, I will hurt you, or worse kill you,” you said, your voice breaking.

“I’ll do it,” Grace said.

“Grace,” Nick said sharply. She held her hand up.

“I’m the best shot we have. I don’t want to kill Dep. But if we have to take her out. We have to take her out. She’s right. You have all seen and heard what Jacob does to people. Once he hooks his claws into her, getting her back will be damn near impossible if she can’t fight it off,” Grace said.

Later that night when you were patrolling the perimeter when you heard it. The opening of ‘Only You’ before you heard Jacob telling you to return to the Whitetails. You had no choice but to listen, finding another car and driving to where Jacob was waiting.

[thekrazykeke]

Family brings clarity at certain times. And in this one, they can fight and be mad but they never ever really give up on each other or let an interloper do what they want without clapping back. Sexytimes that occur are heavily inspired by @lovelylittlekittn‘s suggestions, so thank her. 

Anywho, let’s goooo!

Continued from here.

@elaindeereads @autumn242 @punkrockwxnnabe @palmsofgranate @strawberrysoftkitten @wikiwakanda @lovemekaycee @managingmischiefdaily @gothambrat @marvel-snatched-my-wigs

“When is you gon give Davion the key to the apartment so he can get his tools?” Breanna asked, in the process of greasing Kia’s scalp. Hearing her little ‘ow’ when she tugged too hard on a strand of hair, she murmured an apology, automatically adjusting her grip so that it’s not hurting the younger girl. 

“I’ll give him the key when he learn to speak to me with some sense.” You said simply, tone clipped. Your flatmate was quick to forgive people for hurting her feelings, forgetting though? That’s an entirely different thing altogether. Apparently your brother is on her shit list, though she hadn’t said anything to you so you wasn’t going to say nothin’ either. 

“Y/N. I love you, you know that,” Distractedly, she tapped Nakida’s shoulder, motioning for the taller to lean her head forward a little more. “But as yo cousin, I’m obligated to tell you when you on some other shi...”, Pausing, she cleared her throat, “Stuff. You on some other stuff, and it’s not right, what you doin’.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Of course you taking his side.” 

“All done, baby girl.” Brushing her hair a bit more thoroughly, Breanna used a scrunchie to put it up in a ponytail, something simple to maintain which is what her niece wanted as Nakida isn’t a total pro at sectioning and greasing her scalp on her own. “Ayy, who’s that girl? Ooh na na na na na, she’s that guuuuuurl...” 

“Auntie Breanna, stop!” The teen laughed, dodging her finger which is trying to poke at her cheek. “Stop playin’! O.M.G. stop!” The last word is squealed when Breanna tickled her side. “I have to peeee!”

“Fine! Go on, I’ll clean this up.” Flicking her hand in a dismissive gesture, she smiled as the teen sprinted off towards the bathroom. Beginning to clean up the little jars of hair grease, combs and brushes, she remarked, “Y/N, regardless of all the bullshit Davion sometimes take the family through, he family.” Huffing, you tried to ignore her but she wasn’t having it and popped you in the arm with a comb, which had you hissing out in pain. “I’ma say it again: he family. That mean sometimes we gotta put up with that foolishness because we love them.” 

Mouth twisting up, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, “Since he snitchin’ to you, did he tell you what disrespectful shit he implied about me, and in front of Kia to boot?” Not waiting for her to answer, you continued on to say, “‘Oh, that’s a prince, ain’t no way Y/N could pull him’, the bitch...” 

Unfazed by your temper, Breanna began putting the hair supplies away. “Yes, he told me the truth after I hung up on him a few times when he called screaming and holla’ing, acting a whole ass mess. An’ I agree wit you for putting him in his place asap. Hell, I did too. But it’s been a day, and he needs his tools for other jobs. Did you know that his boss tryna penalize him for that?”

You felt the beginnings to guilt. “No...” 

“I know you and Nadia tight and you feel responsible for her, but she a grown woman that survived without you long before y’all met. So let the duckie roam free and stop being petty, aigh’t?” Brows raising, Breanna held out her hand. Sighing explosively, you reached into your pocket and pulled out the apartment key. “Thank you, boo-boo.”

“Mmhm, whatever. Still don’t forgive his stank ass.” 

“That’s cool. I figured you wouldn’t. ‘S why I sent out the SOS for a family barbecue later this week.” 

You turn and give her an incredulous look, “Umm, what?”

“I said--”

Interjecting before she could finish, “I heard you the first time, but let me reiterate: what the fuck? You realize this ain’t my spot, right? And we smack dab in the middle of Bougie Central? Too many black folk and the cops gon show up, there’s a neighborhood patrol, ya know?”

“Will you calm down?” Breanna rolled her eyes. “It’s just gon be me, Darius, Davion, Isiah, Trinity if I can get her to take a day off, and Nakida. That’s not a lot of people. I ain’t even think to invite all the grandma’s and aunties and uncles. So really, I did you a favor.”

“This is not my spot.”

“I need to know what this dude about. He look like a fuckboi on TV.” 

And so, you were left with the reality that you’d have to tell your man what Breanna had done. On pins and needles, over and over, you practiced a speech of how to softly deliver the news and put a spin on it so that he’d be cool wit it. That afternoon, when you heard his car pull up in the driveway, you was too anxious to wait for him to come in and walked outside to greet him, only to stop in your tracks when you took note of the light skin chick talking to him, a saran wrapped dish in her hold. 

Erik turned to look at you, ignoring how she was still talking, much to your internal amusement, and gave a half smirk. “Ay, baby. I ain’t think you was still up.” As soon as you were in arm’s distance, he reached out and snagged your wrist, tugging you to him. “This our neighbor, Mrs. Wood.” 

“It’s Miss, actually, as I was telling the Prince here.” She smiled fakily and extended a hand to you. “I’m Demi, and no. There’s no relations between Demi Lovato and myself.”

‘Yeah, I bet you was.’ Deciding to be mature, you shake her hand and she damn near tried to break it. Okay then, bih. I see you. Not letting her pathetic attempts to scare you off intimidate you, instead you leaned up and kissed underneath Erik’s chin. “I made dinner and ran your bath water, too.” 

Eyebrows raising, “Cool, we gon eat together.” You’re pleased that he made it a statement not a question and could sense the hate rolling off ‘Miss’ Demi in waves; it was glorious. “Thanks for stopping by and for bringing carrot cake.” He added in an afterthought type of way to the chick.

“I’ll take that.” You reached out to do so and Demi sent you a strained smile before complying. The second the two of y’all stepped in the house, you sat the plate down on the counter, not the fridge. Plans were blooming within your brain for what you’d do with it since you couldn’t just nuke it in the trash, would feel guilty. 

Making yourself a plate, you nibbled on the meal while Erik practically inhaled his dinner. Conversation is light, casual and you’re cleaning up the dishes while he’s washing up. Once that chore is done, the dishes are in the rack to dry, you meander to the bedroom where you see him sitting on the bed, water lightly peppering his scarred body and towel around his waist. 

Figuring what the hell, you got down on your knees and moved between his legs. Keeping eye contact, you slowly pulled the towel off, revealing his cock which is long, straight, and just thick enough to beat up your pussy walls just the way you liked. ‘Don’t get distracted, Y/N. Don’t get distracted.’ 

When you wrapped your hands around him, he groaned. 

“Fuck, baby girl.” he groaned as you leaned down and licked the underside of his dick from balls to tip. That nickname had you squeezing your thighs together, needing some friction on your pussy. You slowly slid his cock into your mouth and worked him deeper, what you couldn’t take, you used your hand. Erik’s hand goes to your head, not pushing but guiding you up and down. Moving your hand, you relaxed your throat and let his cock slide to the back of your throat, nose buried in the hair at the base, swallowing around him. 

Erik’s hand tightened in your hair for a painful moment as he cussed again. You hummed as you moved back up to the tip, curling your fingers around him and beginning to stroke in time with every little bob. Then after a second, you used the palm of your hand to lightly roll his balls. He grunted and his hips bucked, nearly gagging you as his cock hit the back of your throat, “You are so fucking sexy. Suck me harder, baby girl, I’m gonna cum.” 

Looking up at Erik, you squeeze him tighter in your fist, teeth scraping gently on the underside of his head. “Fuck, fuck, fuck--!” He chanted and then you felt him throb in your hand just before his cum shot out in thick pulses. 

You swallowed every.single. drop. 

When you moved to pull away, hand squeezing one last time, a squirt came out, splattering against your shirt and a bit on your chin. Before you can say anything else, barely ten minutes later, Erik’s lifting you up and bodily tossing you onto the bed, gently. Bouncing a little, you scoot backward, dragging your shirt off and overhead, tossing it away as he crawled forward. He grabs your left ankle, tugging you back to him and Erik’s tongue swipes at your chin, collecting his cum. Heart stuttering, you can only stare at him wide eyed as he grinned down at you wickedly, golden fangs gleaming. “I know you ain’t think we was done and you ain’t get to cum?” He snorts, hand going to your cute (fave color) silk panties and you heard a ripping sound. 

“Erik!”

“I’ll buy you more.” he promised. “Lay on ya belly and put your hands above your head.” You do as you’re told only a bit reluctantly. Over and over, his hand glides from neck to ankle, making your ass lift instinctively every time he comes closer to your pussy, but he doesn’t touch you there, yet. He’s probably getting off on the way your pussy lips peek out between your thighs; this is euphoria to him, this bit of control. 

After a few minutes, he pulls your legs apart but keeps you flat on the bed, your pussy juices probably soaking the sheets. He leaned forward to whisper in your ear, the tip of his cock dragging down your slit, teasing.

“Don’t move. Hold onto the headboard and do exactly as I say.” He waits until you nod. “That’s my baby girl.” He sits up on his haunches and runs his hands up both sides of your inner thighs and gently, so gently, ran a finger over the outside of your swollen pussy lips before pushing the middle and index finger inside you. Your ass lifts, trying to grind against his finger but he holds you down with his free hand. “Look at you, so cute. Does it feel good, baby girl, when I fuck you with my fingers?” 

Asshole, he knows it does. 

You’re soaking his hand while he pumps that finger in and out, in and out, before adding another, then repeating the cycle. Before removing both digits. He doesn’t give you time to complain before he’s lifting your hips up and using his knees to spread you open. 

“Hold a little higher. I want your nipples to touch the sheets while I fuck you, just those pretty nipples.” 

Kinky as fuck. You groan but position yourself just the way that he wants you. Barely a minute passes before his thick cock is spreading you open and sliding in. Your mouth is opening and words are pouring out, “Oh fuck, oh shit, ohh shit...Erik...!”

“Shit, baby. Look at how good you takin’ Daddy’s dick.” A rush of embarrassment and arousal sweeps through you and a flood of moisture flows out of you, drenching his cock and balls. His hands grab your hips, tipping your pelvis so that your ass is exposed and thrusts into you. “You like this shit, don’t you, baby girl? Say it, say you like this shit!”

“Yesyesyes, I like this, I like this shit!”

Erik grabs your breasts, rolling the hardened nipples between his fingers, his rhythm never faltering. “Save you love Daddy’s dick.” His middle finger is on your clit, so hard and wet, ready to cum. When you don’t readily comply with his demand, he smacks you on the ass, making you flinch and jolt a little. “Say it! Say that shit, say you love Daddy’s dick!”

At this point, you’ll do anything to cum. “I love Daddy’s dick!!” You’re practically screaming it. You’d bent down, tilted your ass up and he kicks your knees open a bit more. He’s half on top of you, thrusting deep in your pussy.

“You feel so good, baby girl. You like this shit, don’tchu, deep and hard?” You can’t answer, can barely even think. Your body tightens around his cock, shaking hard and you cum, practically drenching his cock. “Yes! That’s it, baby! Cum for me, cum all over this dick!!” He grabs your hips, fucking into you hard, stealing the breath from your lungs with every stroke and it’s borderline too much, but then he’s cumming, filling you with his seed. And now you fall onto the bed, too spent and tired to move. 

Erik and you traded breaths, trying to calm down your racing hearts. But soon enough, his hands are tracing over your brown thighs again. 

“Sit on my face.” You turn your head to glance at him and he smirked. “You know you want to. Plus cumming once is not acceptable. Get’cho cute ass...” Not letting him change his mind, you did as told. Erik liked that shit anyway, if the way he gripped your ass cheeks was any indication.And if he was a lot more amicable to the idea of your siblings crowding up in this place than he might have been? Well, that’s no one’s business but you and his. 

As for Miss Demi’s nasty carrot cake? To be a Good Samaritan, you gave it to a homeless man and five dollars as an apology cuz that shit looked dry as hell.  

[i-just-love-writing-crap]

Who Knew This Would Happen

Warnings: Cheating, ANGST (poorly written angst because I legit suck at writing tear-jerking stuff), swearing Word Count: 7591 Summary: You knew that something was up with your husband, Connor Murphy, but never could you have known what was actually going on. It broke your heart, and what was worse is that you two had a child together. This will be 2 parts because it will be too long otherwise. My brain went a way with this and I need to figure out how to flesh out the ideas I have to the second half of this story. This was supposed to be out the 5th, on my birthday but I got… busy with family drama that day. SO HERE YOU GUYS GO, MY LATE BIRTHDAY GIFT! FROM ME TO YOU~!! Masterlist Tags: @jaredstrashcan @glowingsaphaelruby @several-fandoms-girl @robot-anon  @arsonboirich @lover-of-fanfics (since you said you couldn’t wait I decided to tag you) @fike-maist 

“Connor, honey, how was work? Did my dad work you hard today?” you called to your husband from the kitchen as you heard him walk through the front door. You were holding, bouncing your and Connor’s five month old baby boy—Jason—on your hip. The pause between your question and his answer was unusually long, it had been growing longer since about a month before you got pregnant. So for a year and three months Connor had been taking longer to respond to you and seemed to distance himself from you. “Con? Sweetheart? You okay?” you asked again, walking out of the kitchen.

In the living room, Connor was sitting on the lavish couch, on his phone. He had not looked up from it until you stood in front of him. “Honey? What’s so important on your phone you ignore your beautiful wife and bouncing baby boy?” you joked, trying to get him to laugh.

You recoiled a bit when you saw the hardened look he shot you as he looked up from his phone. “What? What is it, (y/n)?” he said in a hard tone before looking down at his phone again. “Call me when dinner is done, I’m going to the study to read for a bit,” as soon as that was said, he stood up and walked upstairs, stuffing his phone into his pocket.

Frozen to your spot, your widened (e/c) eyes watched as your husband climbed the stairs. Something stirred in your heart, something was wrong with him. He was reverting to the early years of your relationship, back to when he was still cold, not yet having opened up to you—and you were stunned. You had been dating for almost three years before marrying three years ago. “No, everything’s okay… it was probably just a tough day at work,” you told yourself in an attempt to soothe yourself. Looking down at Jason, he gurgles and coos at you, you smile. “Papa just had a bad day, Jay! Grandpappy probably just made him do some hard work. Let’s go and I’ll make him some food,” you say softly, walking back into the kitchen.

About an hour after Connor arrived home, you finished dinner. Per his request, you went upstairs to tell him that dinner was done. Thinking he was in his study, you made your way to the room. “Connor, honey? Dinner is done,” you said, opening the door to find your husband not there. That was peculiar, where could he have been if he wasn’t in his study reading? The bedroom, you thought to yourself and with a smile. As you turned away from the study, closing the door behind you, you made your way to the bedroom you shared with your loving husband.

As you near your shared room, you knew something was wrong: he was on the phone. Connor usually never was on the phone. Stopping just outside your door you listened in, not wanting to interrupt him, in case it was an important call. Connor was talking in a low growl, “Yeah, yeah. The first thing she did when I walked in the door was be a bitch. God, she’s nothing like you are, babe. You’re one of a kind, a true sweetheart. Someone who I love to hear talk, a woman I love to hear moaning my name.”

Your mouth dropped and you silently leaned against the wall, hand clamped over your mouth to silence the choked sobs that threatened to tear through. Tears swelled in your eyes, what you heard broke your heart, it petrified you, rooted you to the ground. Rendered unable to walk away, you listened in still. Many thoughts rushed your head, many of them asking: is this real? Is this actually happening? Is Connor… cheating on me?

Connor moaned someone else’s name as he said, “You are the only one I want, baby! God, I wish I was there to both keep you warm and bury my cock so deep in you. You’d enjoy that, wouldn’t you, you naughty slut?”

Tears started to slide down your face in torrents. You were unable to stop them as each of his words, which you had once thought he would only say to you, stabbed you in the heart and twisted. Those were supposed to be words he said to you and you alone, so why was he sitting your shared, marital, room moaning someone else’s name while saying those words to another? Your body started shaking as you struggled to keep your hand over your mouth.

“God I wish you could come over right now so I can bend you over every surface and forget about my boring wife. Maybe you should come over tonight after she’s asleep? Or maybe I could come over to your apartment after she falls asleep. I love you and need to feel you around me in all sense of the word,” Connor said in a cross between a moan and a snarl.

As you felt your heart breaking into numerous pieces, time seemed to stop, your vision blurred and your eyes stung. You stood there, shaking against the wall, listening to Connor having phone sex with this woman who was not you. This went on for what seemed like hours, but in reality it was only a mere fifteen minutes, until Jason started to cry from downstairs. That was your wakeup call. Sniffling, you tried to stop your tears as you walked off downstairs—your son should not see you cry for a man who did not love you anymore.

A sharp pain shot through Connor’s chest as he heard your retreating footsteps. You heard him having phone sex with a co-worker he was sure of, but he did not know how much you had heard. I pray she only heard that last sentence, Connor pleaded with whatever higher power there was. “Look, sweetie, I have to go. My dinner is ready, I’ll call you back after she goes to sleep,” he said into the phone before hanging up.

Downstairs, you were rocking Jason in your arms, cooing at him, “It’s okay, sweetheart. Mama’s here and she loves you with all her heart. No reason to cry.” Tears still slid down your face in soft streams as you looked at your son.

Being so absorbed in calming Jason down, you were unaware that Connor had walked down the stairs. Unaware of his presence in the kitchen until he spoke, “You were coming upstairs to tell me dinner was done, but then Jay started crying and stopped you, huh?”

You bit your lip as you forced yourself to speak in a faux-happy voice, “Yeah… yeah, exactly. Hey, love-bug, can we talk after dinner? It’s important.”

Connor’s heart sunk at your faux-happy, but noticeably soft words; guilt had begun creeping up his throat and washing over his entire being. Though you did your best to conceal it, he heard the defeated tone in your voice. He had been caught, now and only now had the guilt began to swell inside in him. “Yeah… we can,” he said softly, looking at the plate of food that you had made him.

“Cool. Now come eat, sweetie,” you said, swallowing your sadness and feelings of betrayal to put on a happy act. As you held Jason, you turned and watched Connor sit down. You saw his eyes widen as he gazed at your red, puffy eyes—a glint of understanding of why you were crying flashed through his eyes. However, you saw it: saw the lying question flickering in his eyes, and indulging it, you internally laughed mirthlessly. “Sorry you have to see me cry, sweetheart. Before you got home, I got a call that my distant cousin passed away in a motorcycle accident. An SUV ran right over him… and the news just hit me. So… in light of that news, I’m not— I have no— I just can’t eat right now,” you lied.

Something in Connor tried to convince him that was the truth, but he knew that was a lie, but he would not press you on it. He just simply nodded and said, “I’m sorry for your loss, (y/n)…”

A new wave of tears swelled in your eyes as you replied, “Yeah… me too… now please excuse me, but I’m going to feed Jason in our room. Please come get me when you finish dinner and are ready to talk.” Without another word, or even waiting for Connor to answer, you left the kitchen and went upstairs to your room.

When you entered the room, your eyes hardened as your betrayed gaze met his side of the bed. “I’m kicking him out,” you admitted tenderly to yourself. “If he wants to go be with his little wh—” you stopped yourself, looking at Jason, a smile flooding your face and you continued, “friend… then we’ll let him, won’t we, Jay?”

Setting the babbling Jason on the bed you went to grab the remote from Connor’s nightstand. “I’ll put on some Looney Tunes for us to watch, okay?” you asked your child, who looked at you, clapped his little baby hands together and giggled as you clicked on the television. Jason always found a way to make your heart melt while swelling with pride and happiness all at the same time. Grabbing your little tyke gently, you pulled him into your lap. “You’re so perfect, Jason Murphy—my perfect little man,” you cooed, giggling as he looked up at you.

Looking over his shoulder, with the big (e/c) eyes he got from you, Jason spoke his first word through soft baby babble, “M-mmm-mama.”

You gasped and picked him up, new tears pricked your eyes, this time being ones of happiness. “O-oh my god! You just said mama! Yes! Mama’s here for you, Jason!” you exclaimed excitedly. You shot off the bed with Jason on your hip, you had to tell someone—and your first instinct was to scream for Connor. Without a second thought, you shouted from your bedroom door, “C-Connor!! Connor come here! Quick!!”

You heard Connor run up the stairs, a frenzied look in his eyes. “What?!” he panted, “What is it?!”

Turning your now love-filled gaze to your son, you said, “Jason said his first word! He said mama!!”

Connor looked at you with wide eyes, his gaze flickered between you and Jason. “H-he said his first word and I missed it?” his voice held a hurt tone, upset with himself that he had missed his son’s first word.

Forgetting what had happened in your momentary bliss, you said without thinking, “Don’t worry, honey! When we have more kids, you’ll be there for their first words.” Your mind was so happy and filled with images of you and Connor having more kids that you forgot about his infidelity.

Reality came crashing back in around you as he moved toward you. “I love you, (y/n). I can’t wait to have more children with you,” he whispered, faking love for you as he wrapped his arms around your waist, lips closing in on yours. That was when you remembered his betrayal, his infidelity, and you shook yourself free of him—leaving him confused. “Baby? What’s wrong?” Connor asked, hands reaching out to touch you.

“No,” you said in a shaky voice as the feelings of betrayal, of being cheated on, flooded your mind. “You don’t love me, you don’t want any more children with me. So don’t lie to yourself—don’t lie to me, Connor. Answer me this: do you love her? The woman you were talking to on the phone earlier?” you spoke with resolve in your tone.

Your husband is stunned by your question and truthfully, he could not answer you—yes, part of him did love her, but he still loved you too. As messed up as that was, it was the truth; therefore, instead of answering you, he remained silent and just looked down at the ground. Solemnly, his gaze was trained at the ground, unforgiving guilt building inside him. He had 

With a heavy sigh, you spoke in a low voice, “That’s what I thought. Connor… I think it’s best if you leave. You obviously don’t love me anymore, so go live with that woman… the one who makes you happy. The one who you actually love. I won’t stop you… I couldn’t let myself stand in the way of your true happiness.”

The raw sadness that your tone portrayed as it faded to a whisper cut Connor like a serrated knife. Connor’s guilt-heavy heart shattered at your words. He stood there, heart floating in his stomach, mind reeling for the right words—any words for that matter—to say. Words that would convince you. “(Y/n)…” he whispered, “please don’t make me go. I do love you… and Jason. Please…”

His words punched you in the stomach and your heart twisted in pain. Yes, he had hurt you, badly, and had done something that you should not have even thought to forgive; however, your heart still loved him—wanted him to make it right, prove what he said. Sucking in a breath, you said words you wish you had not said, words you wish you could take back, “Fine… you can st—” you hesitated.

Did you really want him to stay? After all he said to that woman over the phone? Yes. You did; you detested yourself in that moment because you had friends that told you, back when you were still dating people before, to never stay with a cheater. To dump them and leave them, because if you stay with them, you are in an abusive relationship—no matter if you were married and had a child. However, that was easier said than done, especially when you had been happy for such a long time and were truly in love with someone. Because you were truly in love with Connor Murphy—having proved that staying by his side through his aggressive depression of senior year of high school. You could not just shut off your feelings for him. So, yes, you were positive you wanted this—positive you wanted him to stay.

Coming out of your thoughts, you looked into Connor’s eyes as you picked up where you left off, “You can stay.” His eyes lit up and he moved to hug you, but you stop him by putting up a hand. “However, since my parents were kind enough to get up a larger house with several guest bedrooms, you will be moving into the one furthest away from me,” you spoke in a serious, no-nonsense tone.

“Y-you mean…” he started and looked at you with hurt eyes.

You nodded and finished his sentence, “The one downstairs? Yes. That’s exactly the one I meant.” Your words paused as you saw the hurt in his eyes grow again. Sighing, you said, “Connor, as of right now we are estranged spouses. You may live in my house, and though I still love you with all my heart, but you don’t feel the same way. Therefore, we’ll try this out for a bit and if it doesn’t work then we will divorce. In the meantime, I won’t try and stop you from seeing that woman, if you want her, then I’ll let you go.” Once again, your words cut Connor deep as he was rendered speechless, his eyes just staring at you with sadness flooding them. “Tomorrow, after I finish my work from home, I will be moving all your clothes to that room and it will be yours—you will have no need of coming back in this room. Understood?”

Casting his eyes at the ground, Connor nodded, but said, “What about tonight?”

You closed your eyes and sighed, that decision was a tough one. “For tonight, I will sleep in the guest room, near Jason’s room,” you said in a soft voice. “But after tonight, I will have the master bedroom. So… go back downstairs and finish eating. We’ve had the talk I wanted to have, I have nothing more to say to you. Please just… leave me and Jason alone for a little while,” you finished in a low tone.

Connor looked at you, his heart screamed at him to reach out and capture you in a tight, remorseful embrace; however, his brain advised against it. His eyes scanned over your body, focusing in on how serious your facial expressions were. Look at her eyes… her eyes are ice cold, seriousness pouring from them. I fucked up and now I have to suffer the consequences… I need to leave her alone, he thought to himself. “I—” Connor began but cut himself off, turning away from you, “yeah, okay.”

With that, your altercation with your unfaithful husband came to an end. It left you brain unable to decide whether it was happy that Connor had put up a something of a fight (could you really have called it that?) in leaving or mad at yourself for not following through with kicking him out. Your brain was at war with itself and you didn’t know which side to stand with—the logical left side or the emotional right side. Stepping back into your bedroom, Jason’s cute babbling faded in and out of your hearing as you slowly became absorbed in the internal war within your very being. Without thinking, you walked over to the bed, sat down on the king-sized bed with your back against the headboard, and placed Jason in your lap so he could watch the Looney Tunes.

All the while, you listened to the bickering between love and logic—seemingly forgetting about the world around you. What the fuck was that?! I thought we agreed, UNANIMOUSLY on kicking him out, EMOTIONS!! you heard the left side of your brain roar in irritation.

Then came the meek-voiced right side of your brain, But I love him! Surely he didn’t know what he was doing, or had a lapse of judgement! There is no way that is the Connor Lawerence Murphy I married three years ago, Logic!!

I’m pretty sure that cheater IS the same person I married. And it seems like he’s fallen out of love with me. I know you know it’s a thing that can happen, Emotions.

There is no way Connor could have fallen out of love with me! I have given him what he’s wanted: unconditional love, acceptance, a child… what more could he want? Am I just not enough? Have I not been sexually pleasing him enough that he has to turn to some whore to get off? Explain that to me, Logic. Why would he cheat or fall out of love with me?

I couldn’t tell you, Emotions. I couldn’t tell you. Sometimes you think that you’re truly in love with someone, and will be in love with them for the remainder of your life then— your left brain pauses because Jason made a soft crying noise. Shifting, you pull his little body closer to yours, cooing something soft, a soft reassurance that you were still there. After Jason made a happy gurgled babble and leaned his head against your stomach, your brain picked up. Sorry, continuing. You think that then one day, you wake up and you just don’t feel the same way you had felt for years before.

And you think Connor had that happen, Logic?

I do. I can’t believe you still want him to stay after what he said to that sleazy skank of a woman, Emotions.

Shut up! You know you don’t want him to leave either, Logic. I did the right thing. I still love him, and there is a possibility that he still loves us. Why do you think he asked to stay? To prove he loves me.

Yeah, okay, sure.

Your brain finally settled down and you were able to think coherently again, you had control again. As your vision came back, you realized you had been blankly staring at the television with Jason, who was giggling and clapping his hands as Bugs Bunny did something crazy. The next thing you noticed was that your phone was ringing from your nightstand. Slowly turning your head, you leaned over and saw who was calling you. Evan Hansen, your good ole anxious friend from high school who you had kept in contact with a lot. Yes, you kept up contact with Zoe, Jared and Alana, but you talked on a more daily basis with Evan.

Smiling brightly, your hand reached for your phone and you answered it, starting off with a cheerful, “Hey buddy! What’s up?”

Evan’s smile could be heard through the phone, “Hey there, (y/n)! How are you today?”

“Personally, I’ve been better. But Evan!! Guess what happened!!” you gushed into the phone.

Clearly able to tell you were bursting with excitement, Evan answered, “Yeah? What happened.”

Looking at Jason, your smile grew impossibly wider as you said with so much pride in your voice, “Jason said his first word today!”

Evan screamed in excitement. He knew you had been talking about how much you were ready for your precious little bundle of joy to say his first word. Most of the time when you talked about it with him, whether in person, over text or over a phone call, Evan could tell you were very eager. Now, to hear that it finally happened, Evan was overcome with joy and pride. “Oh my goodness! That’s amazing, (y/n)! What was his first word?” Evan asked.

“Mama! Evan, it was mama! Most babies don’t say that until they’re a bit older! I’m so proud of Jason! My little man!” you gushed, heart filling with pride as you played with your son’s tuft of hair. Huffing when some of his dark brown hair comes out with the slightest touch, you said, “I don’t like how Jay’s losing his baby hair! Though I know it’s normal, he just looks so perfect with his little tuft of brown hair!”

“I’m so proud of little Jason! And,” Evan trails off into a soft chuckle, “I understand, it will be weird to see him without hair when he fully loses his baby hair. But, sadly, it’s only natural and you’ll have to watch him grow it ag—for the first time.”

Evan’s words caused you laugh heartily. “You were about to say again weren’t you, tree boy?” you asked with a snicker.

With a soft chuckle, Evan answered you, “Yeah, yeah I did almost say that, baroness von pines.”

“That was a crappy nickname you just made up, Ev,” you laughed. Jason looked over his shoulder with his big eyes, questioning silently who you were talking to and why you were laughing over his Looney Tunes. “Oh, Jason is giving me the stink eye because I am laughing over his Looney Tunes. Look who called me, Jay,” you said, putting Evan on speaker. “Say something to Jason, tree boy!”

Evan’s playful eye roll was heard through the phone as he said, “Hey there little Jason! Is your mama being mean and talking over your show again?”

You laughed as Jason squealed, his little baby hands reaching for your phone. “He knows your voice, tree boy. And Jason, honey, you can play with mama’s phone just as soon as she’s done with her call, okay?” you said that and Jason pouted, which had you gushing. “AWWWW look at your cute little chubby cheeks as you pout at mama! It’s funny you think it’ll work.”

Scoffing playfully, Evan said, “(Y/N)! Are you laughing at your son? All he wants is for mama to let him play on her phone!”

“Evan,” you said in your mother voice, “you know what I meant. Don’t twist it!”

The laugh that left Evan made you crack a laugh, as well as cause Jason to giggle-squeal in happiness, clapping his little baby hands happily. “Okay, okay. Fair point. I guess I’ll call you back tomorrow or something,” Evan said with a smile.

You hummed at his words, and as your brain let them sink in you spoke in a jolt, “HEY! Speaking of tomorrow, Evan, I have something to ask you.”

“Yeah? What is it, (y/n)?” Evan asked, almost worried by your sudden outburst.

With a nervous chuckle, you asked, “Could you maybe come over tomorrow either during your lunch break or after work to help me with something? I need to get some stuff moved around before Connor gets home from work tomorrow, and I also know that you get off before him.”

You heard Evan hum in thought before he said, “Yeah, of course. Anything for you. What time does Connor get off work?”

Now it was your turn to hum in thought. It took a moment of thinking before you answered, “Around 7:00 to 7:45 pm. The earliest he’s gotten home from work is 6:30 and if I have to I can ask my father to keep Connor later. Heh, perks of having a husband that works under your father. When do you get off?”

“I usually get off earlier, about 5:00 pm,” Evan laughed at your words, “I honestly forgot that Connor works with your dad.”

You chuckled at Evan’s realization. “Yeah! I kinda forget that from time to time myself. In fact, I think I’m gonna text my dad and ask him to keep Connor at work late… saying I’m doing something to surprise Connor,” you said with a smile.

“That reminds me, what are you moving around?” Evan asked. He heard your breath hitch at his question and he immediately panicked, he didn’t want to push you into telling him if you did not want to. “A-and, and look, I understand if it may be something you don’t want to talk about. Don’t think that I am try–trying to get you to tell me or anyth—”

With a solemn and mirthless laugh, you cut off the panicking young man, “I caught Connor cheating on me, Evan.”

Evan’s end went silent. You heard his voice choke in his throat, unable to comprehend the somber news that you had just relaid to him. His breath halted as his voice caught in his throat, you heard it. Evan opened and closed his mouth gently as he tried to force words out. “I… how could—… that’s so—…” Evan’s voice wavered in and out as his brain scrambled to find the words to convey his condolences. He went silent again as he tried to find the words.

It felt like a lifetime as you waited for Evan’s voice to come back. As you waited, you played with Jason’s tuft of hair, grinning softly at his little noises he made when he liked something. Just like mama… loves when his hair is played with, you thought to yourself as you bent down to kiss the top of his head. “Perfect…” you mumbled silently to yourself.

Finally, after a few long minutes of silence, Evan’s voice came back, no longer wavering, “I’m so sorry, (y/n). That– that is horrible. Are you needing help moving things out?”

“Out of the master bedroom, yes. I was originally just going to kick him out, make him go live with his little friend who he wants to have phone sex with instead of talking to me! But I—” you stopped yourself before the tears and sadness swept over your body once again.

“But what?” Evan asked softly.

Sighing, you felt stupid saying it out loud. Felt stupid that you agreed to let that cheater stay in the house your parents had bought you two. Just barely above a whisper, you answered Evan, “But I couldn’t do it, Ev… I love him too much to kick him out. No matter how hurt or angry or upset I am with him…”

You heard Evan suck in a breath before he replied, “Look, you know me, (y/n). I respect any and all of your decisions because you’re doing what you think is right for yourself. I can’t change what is right for you, nobody can. All I can do is be there for you because this, what Connor’s done, is very serious and can destroy the family he’s always wanted. If you want to give him another chance, then I am all for it too. Reluctantly, but that’s only because of my personal experience with something along these lines.”

“Yeah, because your dad just… fell out of love with Miss Heidi, right?” you asked. Sadness swelled in your chest as you thought the very same thing had happened with Connor. The thought just tore at your feelings, at your heart, leaving you feeling raw and unbridled sadness and hurt.

A soft sigh left Evan’s lips as he answered you almost reluctantly, “Yeah… that’s exactly what happened.”

“But you would think, if he truly did fall out of love with me, that he would have left to be with his friend by now! Right? Because Evan, I think this has been going on for a year and three months; he started acting distant a month before I got pregnant. And I remember the last time we did it, the time that lead to my pregnancy, he seemed off… he didn’t want me to face him like usual. He usually loved to watch me fall apart under him… but not that time… he felt so cold and distant,” you paused for a moment and remembered who you were talking to and blushed. “Sorry, sorry Evan! I’m sure you did not want to hear that!”

“You’re right,” he laughed, “I didn’t want to hear that but… I think you needed to hear it and think it out for yourself. You needed to figure out the timeline, and I don’t mind being the one you talk it out with. Now, I hate to cut this short, because I love talking to you, but me and mom are going out for dinner soon and I need to take a shower.”

You gasped, “Oh yeah, yeah! I’m sorry, I hadn’t noticed how long we had been talking! Go have fun with your mom, cutie. I love that you still live with your mom and help her pay bills and stuff, Ev.”

Evan laughed again, “Yeah, it’s a good thing. Now, you know if you need anything, I always answer my texts.”

“I know, I’ll text you if I need anything. Thanks Evan, you’re a great friend,” you said in a silly, mock-sarcastic voice.

“You are too, (y/n). Talk to you later,” he spoke in a gentle tone he always had.

Smiling, you echoed, “Yeah. Talk to you later Evan.”

“Bye,” you both said in unison before hanging up.

Placing your phone back onto your nightstand, you turned your attention to Jason, who was asleep against your stomach. He was snoring softly as he grabbed at your shirt in his sleep. While you were on the phone with Evan, Jason had turned to face you and cuddled against your stomach. You silently squealed at your adorable little son. “I guess it’s time to put him down for the night,” you said silently, scooping Jason up gently. Jason stirred from his slumber for just a moment as he looked up at you through barely cracked eyes. “No, no, go back to sleep little one,” you cooed. Relief washed over you as Jason cooed and closed his eyes again.

Not looking up, you made your way to your bedroom door. You couldn’t have known that Connor was opening the door to walk in until you gently bumped into his chest. Glancing up, your smile twisted into a frown. “Oh… hey Connor. Sorry, I was just going to put Jason in his bed then I’ll come back and get the baby monitor, my phone and be off to the guest room,” you said with a certain soft sadness in your tone.

Connor reached out with both hands and touched your shoulders, your body reflexively tried to step away from him in disgust, but it was too late. He already had a grip on your shoulders. In a soft whisper, Connor said, “Stay in our bed tonight… please…”

Your eyes narrowed at his words and you could not help the quiet but furious words that came out of your mouth, “And sleep in the same bed as your unfaithful ass? Pfft, yeah I don’t think so. In case you’ve forgotten, I just caught you cheating on me tonight, Connor. With you promising to go see your little mistress once I fell asleep, saying how much you need to be inside her. Well, congratulations Connor Murphy, because you don’t have to wait for me to go to sleep. If she makes you happy, then go now. Get out of my face and go spend the night with that slut if it pleases you. Just… move, jerk off.”

With that said, you pulled away from his grasp and pushed him out of your way with your shoulder, throat emitting a low snarl. Connor watched you walk down the hall to Jason’s room with wide eyes. You hadn’t called him a jerk off, in a serious sense, in seven years—and the only reason you called him that was because you just met in junior year of high school. You had even shoved him away from you in the crowded hallway of the school in the exact same way as you just did. Wow, he thought as he watched you open Jason’s bedroom door silently before you disappeared in it, that sure brought me back to high school. To what drew me to her to begin with.

Inside Jason’s room, you silently flipped on the light and danced around the toys that littered his floor. “Note to self: clean Jay’s room tomorrow after I move what needs to be moved,” you silently noted to yourself as you reached Jason’s baby crib. Stopping at his crib, you looked at your sleeping angel. “You’re so perfect Jason… don’t ever forget that,” you cooed, setting Jason in his crib and tucking him in. After you tucked him in, you turned on his noise machine that played classical music. Leaning down into the crib, you pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead before straightening up and leaving his room, flipping the light off and baby monitor on then gently closing the door behind you.

Now that you had put Jason down for the night, you had to go back into you and Connor’s shared room, grab your things and get out. Get out before you were actually convinced to stay in the same bed as him for what may be the last time ever. You had never walked so quickly in your life—ready to just get it over with. For the umpteenth time that evening, you swallowed the pain you felt in your chest and opened the master bedroom’s door. Inside the room, you saw a sight that made your chest tighten.

Connor was sitting on his side of the bed, the side furthest from the door with his back to you, but you saw and heard it. He was hunched over, elbows resting on his knees, hands covering his face in utter defeat. Soft, almost inaudible sniffling came from him and for a fleeting moment, you wanted to go comfort him. You had to snuff that little bit of compassion from your heart right now, as much as it pained you to see or hear him cry. For Connor Murphy crying was a very rare occurrence, happening only once in a blue moon. You saw him tense up as he heard your saddened breathing. “Please,” he said in a broken voice, “Please just let me sleep beside you for tonight, (y/n).”

The overwhelming sadness that you heard in his voce cut you like a knife, just as your words had done to him previously. “Connor,” you said seriously, “I’m not staying in this fucking bed with you, a filthy, lying, cheating bastard. How DARE you even think to ask me to sleep in the same bed as you! Do you know how upset I am?! Do you know how fucking hard it is for me to still let you be here?! I am doing it because god damn it for some dumb, unknown reason I still love you when it is obvious you don’t love me! So, no. I won’t be sharing the bed with your sorry ass.”

Quickly, you grabbed your phone, a charger, and the baby monitor then turned on your heels and stormed out of the room. You didn’t care if you slammed bedroom door closed, which you definitely did, nor did you care that Connor was left broken-hearted in your once love-filled bedroom. “She… wouldn’t stay…” Connor muttered to himself, looking over his shoulder at the door.

Well what did you expect, dumbass? For her to just suddenly fucking forgive you for what you did? You cheated on her—your wife of three years, and you have been cheating on her for a year of your married life. You started cheating on her, got her pregnant in the most unromantic session of sex she will ever experience, then proceeded to practically ignore her throughout her pregnancy. All for that slut at work? Really? Evan was the one who called you telling you she was in the hospital giving birth to our son. You almost missed the birth of your son because you wanted to have sex with some cheap bimbo from work who gave you sex. The sex wasn’t even that good! (Y/n) giv—gave you better sex than that slut, because you have refused to touch your WIFE in order to stay that slut’s. For what? I hope your happy, you deserve a divorce from her, Connor and you know it, Connor’s brain shouted at him. He lowered his head in acknowledgement of his actions and the consequences he deserved.

Connor knew he didn’t deserve your kindness of staying. He didn’t even know why you still felt anything for him, he deserved to be slapped, punched, hurt in the same way he had hurt you. However, you were a gracious soul, sparing him and allowing him to stay in the house you had built your lives in together. “She’s an… angel…” he muttered to himself as he started to undress for bed.

Meanwhile, anger and sadness swelled in your chest as you neared the guest bedroom across the hall from Jason’s room. Swinging open the door, you stomped into the room and tossed your phone and it’s charger onto the queen-sized bed, twirling to gently close and lock the bedroom door. In a huff as you turned on the baby monitor and set it on the nightstand, you said to yourself, “I can’t believe that bastard asked me to share that damn bed with him!”

Picking up the charger, you bent over to plug it into the wall. “Fuck, I have to call dad and ask him to keep Connor late tomorrow,” you said to yourself, picking up your phone. “I’m going need something to drink,” you laughed to yourself. “Maybe Evan would come over and make sure I don’t get too out of control?”

As you called your father, you mused about calling Evan after this and asking him to come over—or at least texting him once you remembered about the dinner he and his mother were having. The moment you decided to text Evan, your father picked up and you said with a smile, “Hey dad! I have a favor to ask!”

You father chuckled and answered, “Yes? What is that my precious daughter needs from her papa?”

Laughing, you said, “I need you to keep Connor late tomorrow.”

“Why?” your father questioned.

You hesitated for a second before you said, “I’m doing something for Connor and I need him to stay at work for like two hours after work. Please dad, it’s important. Remember our anniversary is in like two months, so I’m preemptively preparing! I just need some extra time.”

“Oh, that’s true, sweetie pie. Okay then, yes, I can keep Connor at work for a little while after work to give you some extra time. Maybe not two hours after work, but definitely like an hour to an hour and a half after work,” your father agreed with a smile.

“Thank you so much, papa! I love you! Now, I have to go to sleep early, I have to get some work done tomorrow before I start my surprise,” you chuckled.

Your dad chuckled back at you, “Yes. Yes. Sleep is important for doing your job right, my precious cupcake. Goodnight.”

“Night papa,” you said softly before hanging up. Letting out a heavy sigh, you said to yourself in a relieved tone, “Phew, that’s good thing. Now I have to text Evan asking him if he could come over so I could—” you stopped and thought about it, “No… no, I don’t need the alcohol. I still have a child to take care of. Not to mention we both have work tomorrow. We’ll have plenty of time to drink later, now is not the time.”

Nodding at your decision, you slipped into the bed. The room was silent, and the bed felt empty without Connor in it with you. Turning on your side, you looked at the empty space beside you. “He’s an asshole and I still love him…… why?” you asked yourself softly, hand reaching out and stroking the pillow. “This isn’t even the pillow that would have scent yet… I can still see this being the routine… me reaching out for him. Me yearning for the warmth of his body…”

You were unaware that you started crying until you heard yourself sniffling. Turning your hand back toward your face, you wiped away the tears. “W-why am I crying?” you asked in a broken voice.

When you woke up, Jason was crying through the baby monitor. Sitting up, you rubbed your eyes as you said to yourself, “Fuck, my head is KILLING me… did I cry myself to sleep last night?”

Jason proceeded to cry even more, and you moved to get up when you stopped, hearing a familiar voice coo, “It’s okay, Jason. I’ve got you.”

With a smile, you jumped out of bed, ran to the door, unlocked it and went to Jason’s room. “EVAN!” you exclaimed, opening the baby’s door. “I thought you had work today?”

Evan bent down to pick Jason up from his crib, saying, “Well, I did, but I remembered I have these wonderful things called vacation days. So, I used one of them last night so I didn’t have to go in today. It’s a good thing you gave me a copy of your house key for when you and Connor would go out of town.”

Jason stopped crying as Evan picked him up. You smiled at that and said, “Looks like Jay really likes you, tree boy. It takes me about thirty minutes to calm him down. How did you do that so fast?”

Evan looked at Jason and said, “Because he just needed a man to hold him, didn’t he?”

You rolled your eyes at his joke. “I mean, it has been forever since his father held him. But then again, Connor is never home anymore…”

“Hey, hey, right now let’s focus on feeding Jason and moving Connor’s stuff to the guest bedroom. Okay, my friend?” Evan said, giving you a small smile.

Looking at him, you smiled and said, “YEAH! Come on, Ev. We have to take Jay to the kitchen where I keep his formula. He likes it chilled, so it’s nice that I have it in the fridge.”

Evan chuckled and cooed at Jason, “He did seem hungry.” You laughed, walking out of your son’s room, Evan following after you. Evan bounced Jason on his hip, causing the little five month old to squeal in entertainment. “He likes to be bounced on your hip, doesn’t he, (y/n)?” Evan asked with a smile.

Walking down the stairs, you said, “Yeah, he does. He likes it a whole lot, Ev.”

As you walked into the kitchen, Evan sat down at the dining table, setting Jason in his lap. “You’re such a good mother, you know that, right? Jason is such a happy child, never really crying besides when he’s hungry,” Evan said with a soft smile.

You blushed as you reached into the fridge and got out a bottle of baby formula. “You think I’m a good mama… really Evan?” you asked as you sat down beside him.

“Yeah,”  Evan said, handing you Jason, “I really do think so.”

As you started to feed Jason, you felt your cheeks warm up even more, “Awww shucks, Ev… that means a lot, especially since I’ve been the only parent acting like one since Jason was born…”

Touching your shoulder, Evan said, “Don’t worry, (y/n)… maybe this will give him a wake up call…”

“Yeah, or not,” you answered with a scoff. “Connor is a little schmuck because of his cheating… but I want him to have more interactions with his son.”

“That’s not wrong, that is perfectly normal,” Evan says softly.

You laughed, “Thanks, Ev. After Jason eats, we can start the moving process. We only have to move his dang clothes out of the room so he won’t have a reason to ever go back in there.”

With a soft smile, Evan said, “Okay, we can do that!”

[altonajitzu]

[Oneshot] Flashbacks

Some of my friends say they’re tired of scrolling on Tumblr, so here’s an AFF/AO3 to whoever interested:

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1325975/6/her-leader-and-her-maknae-drama-fluff-jihyo-oneshot-romance-tragedy-twice-tzuyu-jitzu

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14297235

Either way, please enjoy <3

"Jihyo-ah! Let's go for breakfast. If you're not up in two minutes, we'll just leave you here." Nayeon's voice called from afar, echoing faintly in Jihyo's sleep-fuddled mind.

"Just go ahead without me unnie, I wanna sleep in a bit more." She replied; at least, that was what she thought she said. To Nayeon's ears, it was a string of incomprehensible mutterings that sounded suspiciously close to 'Leave me the fuck alone'.

"Alright you ingrate, don't whine when we're back."

With that she left with Jeongyeon, and Jihyo relished in her silence. Not wasting a minute, she pulled the blanket over her head and drowned in slumber once more.

_____

When she woke a few minutes (or was it a few hours?) later, her friends weren't yet home. Groggily rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Jihyo grunted uncharacteristically as she struggled to stand up. She would have loved to ditch breakfast altogether and sleep in until noon- or better yet, afternoon- but the stomach that had ingested nothing but alcohol for two days insisted otherwise. It was getting increasingly hard to lie still when her abdomen twisted and churned, demanding to be filled with solid food. Before long, she gave up trying to fall back asleep and reluctantly got out of the bedroom in search of something edible.

The next few minutes found Jihyo at the dining table, greedily devouring a bowl of cereal she chanced upon in a random cupboard. It was not her favorite choice of meal, yet for now, the cereal might as well be expired and she would still find it delicious. Finishing her food, Jihyo sad still for a moment and sighed. She couldn't believe she just ate cereal, and found it palatable at that. As she brought the bowl into the kitchen, she rolled her eyes in irritation- in the sink was a total mess, with plates, bowls and chopsticks haphazardly thrown everywhere.

"Jinjja, Nayeon-unnie..." Jihyo muttered under her breath. "It's a miracle how you're still surviving."

Being someone who could not stand looking at a mess, Jihyo grabbed a pair of rubber gloves and got down to cleaning. The ring on her finger made it difficult to put on the skintight gloves, so she took it off and set it next to the sink.

As Jihyo diligently scrubbed sauce and leftover scraps from the dirty dishes, she wondered why her insides were still tossing and turning even though her appetite was already sated.

It was like her mind had forgotten something important and life-changing, but her body hadn't. So it was trying its best to remind her, but to no avail.

Jihyo shook her head and went back to the bedroom, giddy to catch some additional shut-eye.

____________

"Annyeong?" Jihyo lazily picked up her phone. Whoever dared to disturb her sleep better have a damn good reason for it.

"Jihyo! Where are you? Get your ass to the chapel ASAP! We're all waiting here, I'm at the reception at the moment. Hurry the hell up!" A voice boomed from the speaker. Without giving the sleepy girl one second to reply, the person on the other end of the line hung up. It was Jisoo, her cousin.

Jihyo dropped her phone with a groan. "It's my cousin. She's telling me to get to the wedding quickly. Man, it's still so early..." She flopped back to bed, burying her head in the fluffy pillow.

"You seem pretty close to your extended family, aren't ya?" Nayeon casually asked, her eyes not leaving the laptop.

"Yeah...  It was Jisoo on the phone, my aunt's eldest daughter. We've been together since we were born. Every weekend I visited my grandparents' home, and we played around together. Then we grew up, and somehow things still stay the same." Jihyo answered, smiling fondly at the memories.

"So today is her wedding or something? Damn, you're one heartless bitch, Jihyo-ah." Jeongyeon mocked. Jihyo punched her playfully on the arm, pouting at the short-haired girl.

"Who is it that got me drunk off my ass last night, and now I don't even wanna go anywhere? If there's a bitch here, it's you." Jeongyeon just laughed off the blame. It had been great fun watching Jihyo's drunken antics, and it was worth an insult or two.

"Anyway, no it's not. Apparently it's her favorite cousin's wedding, and she's really excited about it. My phone ran out of battery, so I received her message just now." Jihyo showed the others said message. They all huddled in to look at the small screen.

Are you up yet? It's my favorite cousin's wedding! OMG I can't believe it. Today's gonna be greatttttt!

Jihyo was still partially on the walk down the memory lane, so she did not notice her friends exchanging strange looks.

"So um, Jihyo?" Nayeon tentatively asked, pulling the girl out of her reverie.

"Yeah?"

"How close you are with this other cousin? I mean, the one that's about to get married?"

"I don't really know whom she's talking about actually. Like, we're one big family, so..." Jihyo trailed off.

There was something exceptionally wrong here, she realized. Why did she know so little about this wedding girl? She did not even know which one it was among her relatives.

Jeongyeon seemed to notice Jihyo's confusion, so she observed cheekily.

"Seems like you're awfully ignorant of your other family members. Bitch." Jihyo was not about to take this one lightly. She tackled the laughing Jeongyeon down the bed for a round of tickles.

When the chaos finally died down, Jeongyeon managed to give some reasoning between gasps.

"Well I mean, there's no reason why you should care less about them than Jisoo. Her cousin has to be your cousin too...." Jihyo nodded guiltily. She did not expect Nayeon to finish the sentence.

"... or yourself."

Silence.

Jihyo's brain slowly put the pieces together.

The reason why she went out to drink alone, then stumbled at Nayeon's place.

The ring by the kitchen sink.

Jisoo's message about a cousin's wedding.

Then, she shouted the loudest shout Korea had ever heard.

"FUCK!!!!!!"

_____

The taxi trip to the wedding venue turned out to be one emotional roller coaster for Jihyo.

As soon as she jumped into the taxi's backseat, she all but shouted her home address to the astonished driver.

Preoccupied with the handy make-up kit she brought with her in the handbag, Jihyo could not spare a glance at her surroundings, until a looming building forced itself into the corner of her vision. Recognizing the familiar sight, Jihyo looked up just as the taxi passed by JYP University, where she and her lover first met.

It had been a chance meeting. Jihyo, being her usual carefree self, was taking a leisure stroll around the campus with an appearance that was more associated with freshmen than juniors such as herself- bright-eyed, light-stepped, seemingly fascinated with everything. It had always been this way with Jihyo; it never mattered where she was, she was always chasing a random fantasy inside her head rather than focusing on the real world. This gave her a constantly fresh and excited looks which was first adored by others, but after an incident where she dove headfirst into a trashcan, people knew the truth- she was an idiot, plain and simple.

That day, the idiot met a girl, who called herself Chewy. Chewy was sitting alone, staring at nowhere in particular, in a rather obscure corner of the conservatory.

"Hi Chewy! Nice to meet you." Said girl looked at her quizzically.

"You don't... know who I am?" She asked quietly, but apprehensively.

"No, should I?" Chewy looked at her a little longer, calculating. Before long she shook her head with a light laugh.

"No you shouldn't. Nice to meet you too, sunbae-nim."

"Aish! Just call me Jihyo!"

Only two weeks after, when 'Chewy' half-heartedly showed her gold medal hanging on her neck did a flabbergasted Jihyo realize, her new friend was Chou Tzuyu, the most popular freshman in the university thanks to her godlike archery skills, unparalleled beauty, and a volatile personality that only had two modes- either extremely cold, or extremely violent.

Yet they were already friends, and friends trusted each other. No rumor could possibly change Jihyo's steadfast opinion about Tzuyu.

Until the day, something happened that changed their peaceful relationship.

______

"Jihyo-unnie, go out with me."

Tzuyu's voice was calm and quiet, yet her words reverberated and ricocheted through the mind of everyone unfortunate enough to hear it. The entire canteen went deathly quiet, and all eyes turned to look at the speaker with various degrees of shock, disbelief, and jealousy.

Jihyo looked at Tzuyu, who was standing in front of her with a determined look. Her fist was balled up into fists, and she was trying her best to keep herself from running away.

Meanwhile, Jihyo was sitting there, frozen in a comical state. Her mouth was hanging open, awaiting more food to be shoved in by the spoon on her hand. Which was also hanging on the air.

She could not understand why Tzuyu- the school diva, ace of the archery club, dream girl of many- would be interested in her, whose status could be pretty much described by her current pathetic pose: class clown, average looks, no special traits, everyone liked but no one really paid attention to.

After a few seconds, Jihyo decided she must have misheard the name.

"Um... Tzuyu-ah, I think you got the wrong person..." She frantically looked around for anyone nearby so as to validate her point. Much to her dismay, everyone present had seen fit to give them a wide berth.

"Er... You know what Tzuyu, maybeuuuuuuuu..." Jihyo was stopped as Tzuyu stormed up to her and squished her cheeks together, making her lips pucker out like a fish.

"I'm talking to you, stupid unnie. Be my girlfriend." Frustrated with Jihyo's desperate avoidance, Tzuyu whispered to her through gritted teeth.

For a brief moment, Jihyo wanted to just nod and get this over with. Tzuyu was unbelievably beautiful, possessed a fascinating personality, and- apparently- had taken a liking to Jihyo as well. Still her rational mind vehemently objected; she did not have clear feelings for Tzuyu, and it would only hurt them both if she agreed to be in a relationship. Jihyo treasured their friendship, and ruining it with perfunctory romance was the last thing she wanted to do.

So she shook her head.

"No Tzuyu, I won't. We are only friends." She said simply. To her surprise, a smirk appeared on Tzuyu's face.

"I know you'd say that unnie. I'm just sending a message here. Sooner or later, I'll make you look this way."

With that, she turned on her heels and sauntered away in the awestruck looks of the onlookers. Even in rejection she still managed to appear fabulous, while Jihyo- who would thereafter be known as the stupid weirdo who turned down the school goddess- had to duck away from the canteen in the booing of the student body.

_____

Aside from the make-up and the ring, Jihyo brought little with her on the night trip. Everything else, she kept in her bedroom. So there she was a few minutes later, frantically putting on the wedding gown without sparing one moment to appreciate its beauty.

"Dress, check. Bouquet, check. Shoes, check." She nodded in satisfaction. Exhaustion finally catching on, Jihyo sat down on a chair for a moment of respite. Staring at the blank space in front of her, Jihyo instinctively crossed her legs- then she laughed to herself, recalling the incident that had induced this Pavlov's response.

_____

The door swung open with a loud crash, revealing a fuming Jihyo and a guilty-looking Tzuyu. They proceeded to walk up the stairs, heading for Jihyo's bedroom, all the while bickering about what just happened earlier.

"I told you Jihyo-unnie, he started it. I just defended myself."

"Now which part of that do you consider self-defense, Tzuyu?" Jihyo angrily retorted. "You mean where you stomped repeatedly on that guy's nether region? Or where you poured ketchup all over his body after that?"

"I meant where I beat him down for assaulting me! One doesn't simply jump at the great Chou Tzuyu and leave unscathed." The younger girl replied haughtily, brandishing her knuckles in a dramatic manner. Jihyo narrowed her eyes.

"It seems you'll need another lesson, young lady." She spoke sternly. It did not have the expected effect on Tzuyu though.

"Oooh, kinky." She cheekily answered, making Jihyo roll her eyes with frustration.

"Not that kind of lesson, get your mind out of the gutters! Jinjja, I don't remember you to be this perverted."

"Only for you unnie, only for you." Came another tongue-in-cheek reply. Jihyo decided not to reply, in order to avoid digging a deeper hole for her embarrassed self.

So she silently sat on a chair, and beckoned Tzuyu to do the same. Obediently, Tzuyu took a seat on the floor, in front of her unnie. She knew what she was in for, after all.

Ever since they befriended one another, Tzuyu had exhibited- both by words and by action- how horribly inept she was in dealing with other people. It seemed to Jihyo that she could think of little but violence whenever she was faced with a tough situation, and more often than not, it did not end well for either sides. She had more than once been the one to take care of Tzuyu's bruises and cuts, much to the other girl's appreciation. It did not come as peacefully as the diva would have hoped, seeing as her unnie would grumble irritatedly throughout the process.

That said, at the moment, Jihyo proceeded to give a lengthy preach about acting civil and having conduct becoming of a school idol, yet Tzuyu did not seem attentive. She seemed to find interest in a particular spot above Jihyo's head, occasionally looking at the older girl only to quickly avert her eyes later with a blush and giggle.

After the seventh time, Jihyo could no longer take it, so she jumped forward and pinch both Tzuyu's cheeks, making the poor girl groan in pain.

"Are you even listening to me!?"

"It's hard to pay attention when you're sitting like that unnie." Tzuyu managed to squeeze out, her sentence distorted by the misshaped mouth. Jihyo's eyebrows furrowed, not yet getting the implication.

"Like what?"

"Like, at least cross your legs or something." Jihyo's head immediately snapped down, and only then did she realize she was wearing a skirt... and not crossing her legs while talking. As if touched by fire, she bolted back with a high-pitched shriek.

"Tzuyu! How could...! I was... and you were..." Stuttered Jihyo, her jumbled words a combination of anger and embarrassment.

"What! Why do you keep blaming me when it's never my fault?" Tzuyu said, her eyes twinkling with mirth. Making fun of Jihyo would never get old, her reaction was always so priceless.

"Jihyo-unnie, do you know why you're so pissed off about this? If you don't, I'll tell you." She chirped, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Jihyo could not care less as to her reasons for being angry, but she wouldn't deny that she was a bit curious.

"Enlighten me then." She tried to be as disinterested as possible.

"You were jealous unnie." Jihyo choked on her own breath, but Tzuyu pretended to not notice. "You were afraid that I would accept his confession, and then angry because he managed to steal a kiss on these lips." Tzuyu blew a kiss at Jihyo, who was now furiously blushing.

"Get out Tzuyu, I've had enough with your jokes." Tzuyu did not need to be told twice. She cheerfully left the older girl to her own devices, knowing what she said had fulfilled its purposes. Jihyo was going out of her way to deny it, but Tzuyu knew she was wavering.

Indeed, Jihyo's gaze never left the general direction from which Tzuyu just departed, wondering if what she said was true.

_____

As luck would have it, the taxi slowed down to a halt just meters away from Tzuyu's front door. Jihyo looked on fondly at the porch where they had parted countless times, exchanging kisses before either of them left for their respective business.

The memory that resurfaced, however, was not any of these kisses. Well, it was one, but it did not happen anywhere she could see from the street. This particular kiss, it happened past the hall, up the stairs, through another hall, and into the deepest corner of Tzuyu's house. It was also where their relationship officially started.

_____

Jihyo sat up with a sigh. She was never one to endure the heat well, and it did not help that everyone decided to fall asleep on Tzuyu's bed rather than spread out in her unreasonably large room. As a result, Jihyo- who went to bed the earliest, was literally driven into a corner by consecutive newcomers who saw fit to hog up as much space as they possibly could. Glancing around the sound sleepers with pure spite and jealousy, Jihyo's eyes landed on the one lying the closest to her, and her gaze softened. No matter what Tzuyu did, Jihyo could never stay mad at her.

The older girl found herself staring at the outline of Tzuyu's curves under the faint moonlight. Travelling downwards from the bare shoulders, Jihyo's gaze lingered hungrily on the exposed stomach just underneath her disheveled top, and eventually settled onto a pair of flawless, creamy thighs that glistened with a thin layer of sweat.

She recalled also Tzuyu's rather explosive confession. The Taiwanese had become more and more of an enigma, which Jihyo seriously did not expect. Who she was deep inside, while far from being a normal girl, was not something obnoxious at all. Jihyo did not hate this particular aspect of hers; rather, she secretly adored it, finding it much preferable to the ice-cold distant person Tzuyu always made herself out to be.

Behind the cold uncaring facade, Tzuyu actually carried inside her a wonderful heart. There were instances where Jihyo witnessed the younger girl go out of her way to help stray animals and people in need; when being confronted about it later, she always denied it fervently but clumsily. The way she blushed when trying to wave it off was extremely... cute, in a way.

Speaking of cute, Jihyo's line of sight now rested upon Tzuyu's delicate sleeping face. She was still blissfully asleep despite the heat, her mouth slightly open; there was an innocent aura surrounding the girl's face, making her look less her flirtatious self than ever before.

Was it only her, or was it getting hotter? Jihyo couldn't tell.

Somewhere deep down her subconsciousness, she felt a sudden urge to wipe the sweat off Tzuyu's face. Was she not comfortable? It probably wouldn't hurt to wear less. Jihyo then took off her outer robe, leaving on only her partially-soaked pajama top. With it she lightly dabbed on their lovely sleeping face. The last thing she wanted is Tzuyu waking up to this compromising situation.

Dahyun, however, had different plans. Still deep in slumber, she turned on her stomach; her elbow nudged hard into Tzuyu's midriff, effectively causing her to awaken.

Tzuyu opened her large eyes, black and starry like the night itself. She took immediate notice of the warm sensation on her face, and moved quickly to grab the hovering hand. Jihyo froze, her extended hand captured in Tzuyu's.

They stared deep into each other's eyes, one pair burning with desire and the other with conflicting emotions. The argument that had prevailed before, resulting in her previous rejection, once again bubbled back onto the front of Jihyo's mind- yet this time, it was much less pronounced. The rational voice weakly made itself known, only to to be snuffed out by the overwhelming want to shut down Tzuyu's challenging eyes by planting a kiss on those enticing lips.

And Jihyo did exactly that. Lowering her face down slowly but steadily, she brought their lips closer and closer, until they both closed their eyes to the blooming sensation when they finally touched. Time seemed to stop for the girls as neither of them felt the need to breathe, as their world had all but disappeared, leaving behind only the foreign, yet so addicting feelings of their emotional bonds manifesting, burning like wildfire around their faces.

She had fallen hard for Tzuyu, and Tzuyu for her.

_____

The taxi reached its final destination at exactly midday. As Jihyo stood in front of the secluded chapel, prepared and glamorous in pure white wedding gown, a sense of dread suddenly grew. Only now did she remember why she ran out to drink alone the very night before their important day.

_____

Jihyo was not feeling good. At all. The wedding was tomorrow, and somehow nothing felt in place.  To add insult to injury, their hired pianist decided to ditch her post, and she could not contact Dahyun for emergency substitution. Everything saw fit to fall apart at the very last minute, and it was driving the future bride crazy.

And 'bride', as in the singular form. Because, for the entire day filled with bad news, Tzuyu was nowhere to be found.

As the clock struck ten, Jihyo heard the front door click open. Looking up, she felt her blood boil when her fiancee entered with Sana all smiles and giggles. That was the last straw.

A small part of her wanted to go around this rationally and talk things out, but whenever she got too upset her old self would emerge and stop her from ever expressing her feelings out loud. Right now, she preferred to be alone.

Unfortunately for Jihyo, Tzuyu was more perceptive than she ever hoped to be; the younger girl noticed the tears of frustration and self-pity one split second before she managed to storm out the door.

"Jihyo-unnie!" Again, she could never hope to match the agility or strength of a champion archer. Tzuyu's hand bolted out to grab hers,

"What!!!" She snapped, her voice cracking. She tried to yank herself free, but Tzuyu was not about to relent.

"What's wrong? What happened? What's the problem?" It was not easy for Tzuyu to be the calm one. Having more or less the comforting capacity of a rock, she managed fine enough in normal situations. But it was just before their wedding day- everything was supposed to be perfect, so she was caught completely off guard. As it stood, she could do nothing but awkwardly ask questions.

"What do you think!? I spent the whole day fixing our messed up wedding, and you were out d-dating and... f-flirting with Sana!?" Jihyo could not hold it inside any longer, and she practically shouted at Tzuyu's face.

"Flirting? No Jihyo-unnie, you misunderstand, we were..."

"Please don't. I need to be alone right now. For the sake of us both, please deal with everything else." Finally she managed to free herself from Tzuyu's death grip, and she stormed off, leaving behind her confused and devastated fiancee.

And off she went, heading straight to the bar. There, she saw Jeongyeon, and they proceeded to drink herself under the table. They later stumbled at Nayeon's, beyond inebriated, and this ordeal completely stripped Jihyo of the night's memory when she woke up next morning.

_____

The hall, filled with hubbub prior, quieted down as soon as Jihyo stepped through the entrance. All guests and relatives stopped in their tracks, marveling at the beauty of the newly-arrived bride, but Jihyo barely noticed. Her eyes immediately rested on the other bride- her bride, the lone figure standing patiently in wait at the altar, her head slightly bowed.

Having agreed beforehand to have similar wedding dress styles, Jihyo had a pretty good idea how Tzuyu would look that day- after all, their attire were supposed to be identical. Yet, taking in the sight of her fiancee, resplendent and angelic, she still felt entranced. Step by step she took, closer and closer to the altar, until Tzuyu finally noticed her presence. Jihyo could feel the warmth and relief in her fiancee's sigh.

With poorly constrained anticipation, Jihyo lifted up her soon-to-be-wife's veil, revealing underneath it the angelic face that she'd come to love. Tzuyu was looking at her with a gentle smile, though Jihyo could still detect the slight red puffiness around her eyes hidden beneath the make-up. Her lover had been crying, and her heart was overcome with guilt.

"Jihyo-unnie... even until our wedding, you still made me wait." As always, Tzuyu's quiet voice resounded within Jihyo's mind despite having no spiteful edge. "You're so beautiful today."

"Tzuyu, dear, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I stormed out on you yesterday. I said things I should not have, and I felt terrible."

"You're forgiven, Jihyo-unnie." Tzuyu said quietly. Then, with a more regretful tone, she continued. "I'm sorry too, I did not expect that there was still work to take care of, and I just left you with it. I promise I'll be more attentive."

A second passed, as the couple mirrored one another's adoration-filled smiles.

"You're so cute when you're jealous though." Jihyo bit her lips and looked down, accepting the tease without any retort. Tzuyu deserved at least this much after putting up with her attitude yesterday.

"Thank you for showing up, Miss Park Jihyo. We can now begin." Being informed of her arrival, the officiant stepped

As Sana ran up to give Tzuyu her vows, it struck Jihyo that she did not have her own. As a matter of fact, the thought of writing one never crossed her mind.

"Oh god, I forgot to write my vows! What do I do, what do I do?" Jihyo started to panic. Then she felt Tzuyu's hand caressing her arms, and she immediately calmed down.

"Tzuyu, you are one true joy in my life. You're the person I never knew I needed. I used to think I'm fine living the way I did, being a run-of-the-mill funny girl. But time went by, and I became hollow. No one really took me seriously, and I was always spending time alone whenever I felt down. You're the first person to look past the clown's joke and at her ignored tears. The first not only to laugh with me, but also cry with me. I love you Chou Tzuyu, today and always."

Jihyo was known to stumble and stutter under pressure, one of many reasons why she was inherently funny to look at in the first place. Yet today, at the most stressful moment of her life, her speech came out naturally and flawlessly.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Jihyo could see Jeongyeon- who apparently had managed to get there before herself- openly wiping her eyes with a handkerchief, and she felt extremely proud of herself this time.

She was surprised when Tzuyu suddenly discarded the piece of paper on her hand, throwing it on the floor dismissively.

"Tzuyu, your wedding vows..."

"I don't need it anymore unnie. You're right, we don't need any preparation to say what we feel." Taking a deep breath, Tzuyu said.

"Jihyo-unnie, before I met you, I had lived my whole life being treated like a princess. Everyone praised me for what I accomplished, and pushed me to go even further. The constant attention became suffocating, and I gradually withdrew into a shell and mask my feelings, afraid of people's expectations. Then you came along. You're the first one to reach out for me, for my real me. You showed me that life is not just competitions and performances. You showed me how amazing it is to be carefree, to enjoy things I never knew before. How amazing it is to be truly loved. You brought me to life, and for that I'm thankful. I love you Park Jihyo, today and always."

Jihyo felt tears prickling at her eyes. She had never heard Tzuyu speak at such lengths before, and this passionate speech was reserved for her and her only.

For a split moment, she recalled her past self's argument, denying her feelings for the younger girl. May it rest forever in peace, she thought. She loved Tzuyu. Her adorable awkwardness, her radiant smile, her annoying jokes, her everything. And Tzuyu loved her back just as much.

"You may now kiss the bride." The priest declared on reflex, then caught himself in time and rephrased. "Ehem. The brides may now kiss."

And kiss they did, in the booming applause of the overjoyed audience.

[mikeshanlon]

goddd I cannot believe u have read iwwv u don't know me but for some reason we watch like.. the same shows and now books lol. anyway can I ask what were ur thoughts on the ending? like to me at least it was onvious Oliver had not done it and he wasn't gonna pull a unreliable narrator last minute (despite being an unreliable narrator) I'm talking abt the whole uhh James is a**** thing.. like what HAPPENS NEXT? is he w wren? also I feel so bad for meredith like girl love urself.. sry 4 the essay

omg yes taste!!!! Also no I’m dying to talk abt this novel so don’t apologize if anything im sorry bc I wrote way too much answering ur question LGRNLRGN

IF WE WERE VILLIANS SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT go read it if u haven’t it’s legendaric

Okay the ending!!!! AH!!!! Okay yeah so I think it’s clear Oliver did not do it, I think the ambiguity lies more whether or not James intentionally killed Richard or if it was an accident. Like, did he see Richard stumbling out in the woods hella intoxicated and think to himself that this was the perfect opportunity to get revenge for all the abuse and torture Richard had been terrorizing him with??? Did he lie to Oliver? Personally, I believe James that it was an accident… of sorts. I don’t think James set out with the intention to kill Richard at all. But Richard was goading him and fighting him and after the buildup of cruelty and tension between them over the past few months, Richard be a homophobic dick and calling James and Oliver qu*er and prodding at the most important relationship in James’ life struck a nerve. So when Richard wanted to keep fighting and hurt him again he was like fuck this and he hit Richard too hard with the hook and that in tandem with Richard being drunk caused Richard to fall and die. And, like the others, James felt awful but there was a sort of sick sense of relief.

(Also, I’m not exactly sure Oliver counts as an Unreliable Narrator. I mean he is certainly keeping some things from that detective guy but, and I was reading something from M.L. Rio about this, like he’s literally just oblivious and dumb as fuck sometimes LKGNLRGLKNRG. So idk how often he’s intentionally Unreliable but I also get what you mean)

Anyways I’m totally a believer that James is alive bc despite enjoying dark stories im like okay but I need a happy ending LGKNLKRGlkenlgneg. Like c’mon they never found the body……….. A metaphorical death and shedding of his past life bc he blames himself for Oliver taking the fall is like the MOST tragic hero Shakespearean shit ever like it just works so well!!!!!! The part where Oliver describes the last time James visited him in jail…

“Oliver I’m begging you,” he said. “I can’t do this anymore.” When I refused again, he pulled my hand across the table, kissed it, and turned to leave. I asked where he was going and he said, “Hell. Del Norte. Nowhere. I don’t know.” (343).

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd. God. Anyways I think that was very telling of his plans. Hell (for “committing suicide”, moreso for all of his wrong doings). Del Norte is the beach that him and Oliver slept on that one night and so I feel like that place holds a lot of significance for them, but it’s a place only those two know the significance of. So, I like to think he ran away there and started a new life. He wrote that letter with the disjointed Pericles monologue I think to hint to Oliver that he was at Del Norte, if he wanted to find him, because even though his “death” was a self-punishment for ruining Oliver’s life, he still cares for him a lot and doesn’t want to be without him. Like a whole monologue about the sea????????? The fact that he literally said the monologue to Oliver while they were at Del Norte?? “To give my tongue that heat to ask your help; / Which if you shall refuse, when I am dead, / For that I am a man, pray see me buried.” LIKE WHAAAAAAAAAAT god !!!! Also water is gay<3 and in my heart Oliver goes and finds him and they like work through shit and are together.

Anyways I don’t really think he’s with Wren. Their relationship during senior year was always sort of ambiguous to me…. Like they definitely got super close, they probably were romantically involved in some capacity (since other characters like Alexander who is much more perceptive were like Oliver how did it take you this long to notice LRGNRGNK) though idk if it was like the Encompassing Love Affair Oliver thought it to be bc he’s oblivious and jealous. And also like James was very much enamored with Oliver so idk. (EDIT i just remembered they slept together LMAO but i think my point still stands) In the epilogue Wren is in London and is a recluse and doesn’t reach out to any of the Villains which like. Good for her LRGNRLG even though I hated Richard I can’t imagine like how much of a toll that took on her to see her cousin die and all their friends be like uh yeah we should let him die and then have to keep up a lie like… even though she agreed Richard was awful that has to be so heart wrenching (badumtss) and life ruining. So I think she especially wouldn’t want to be with James seeing as he essentially led Richard to fall into the lake, though I’m not sure if she knows that or not.

And Meredith!!!! Like I’ll be real sometimes she frustrates me but I think she’s also SUCH an interesting and realistic character (which is something I love about this novel, all the characters are interesting to me and I like how the female characters are portrayed.... like i LOVE Fillipa she is such a bad ass bitch but again she’s not just like. Expected to always be strong and clever like she’s got feelings too. Anyways love her). As I said before I was perusing through the author’s tumblr a bit and ppl were like “omg why did Meredith go through all the male friends” like BYEEE literally feeding into the stereotypes that made her feel insecure and weak… (Also again, they’ve known each other for four years… so its not that insane lmao). I think Meredith’s relationship with her sexuality and beauty is very interesting and relatable for a lot of women (I mean I am not. Like a seductive femme fatale like she is but LGKNKRGN). On one hand she is definitely a multifaceted person who is more than her sexuality, on the other, she’s constantly Literally Cast by Gwendolyn in sexualized roles and seen as sexualized by her friends/bf (Richard) and constantly told her worth in and out of the theatre is her body. Like there is an interesting duality about the power she possesses with her sexuality but also the extreme insecurity that is bred by being constantly sexualized and this struggle of like knowing she has worth outside of her body but also sort of … not in the eyes of others. That scene where they’re doing those exercises of their strengths and weaknesses really Hit. Anyways yes Meredith love urself queen… get a hot respectful gf… become a powerful successful legend…..

Related-ish sidenote, obviously I like James and Oliver together the most though I will say Meredith and Oliver’s relationship was interesting though ultimately unhealthy…. Like one of the aspects I like about their relationship is Oliver respects Meredith and when he realizes he is falling into that idea that Meredith is this super sexualized person he’s like hold awn that’s shitty of me… But also I think the fact of the matter is that their relationship was catalyzed by shitty stuff,,, like lust and the need for revenge. Like I honestly don’t really think they would’ve gotten together if not for the extreme animosity with Richard and the adrenaline of like that whole show run and more particularly That Night…. It feels like they got together because they were drunk and they’re attractive, which like yeah fine valid, but also, subconsciously, to be like fuck you Richard. Like, guess what I’m with the guy who you’re constantly saying doesn’t matter. And also seeking comfort and validation when their most important people are not valuing them (Richard being literally fucking awful to Meredith, James sort of pushing Oliver away—again I think subconsciously was sort of a revenge jealousy type thing where Oliver is with the person that James doesn’t really like and makes not amazing comments about being promiscuous). And then their relationship I think keeps going because like. Wow grief is a bitch and they want some comfort. Meredith is drawn to Oliver because he’s one of the only people who values her for more than just a sexual object which like is What She Deserves but their relationship is like a mess of sex and guilt and Oliver is in love with James (the parts where Meredith drags Oliver for caring more about James… iconic as she should! Like when Oliver is like sorry James is visiting me I’m not coming or when she’s like are you more jealous of him or me when they kissed for that scene….. OOP!). Anyways idk if that makes sense but I find Oliver and Meredith’s relationship interesting bc it’s not like… the worst unhealthy relationship ever or anything and I think there is genuine care and love/attraction there between them but like Oliver is never going to totally Be What Meredith deserves especially because like… he loves James more. Also the part where Meredith slaps Oliver when he gets out of jail and he’s like yeah I deserve that is so GLKNRglkenrgnrg to me.

Anyways I probably have more thots but wow. This is long. Sorry LGRNLKRGNng

[ourholly101love]

Chase the Lightning Inuyasha Chapter 3

The stew wasn't only good it was delicious. Inuyasha didn't tell her that though but he finished the bowl and didn't complain. she knew it was good he could tell by the triumphant look on her face. she had obviously forgiven him for teasing her because she smiled as she fed him. ignoring his protests that he was perfectly capable of feeding himself. it wasn't until the bowl was empty that he wondered if perhaps she had poisoned him......maybe that was her reason for her satisfied smile. Inuyasha gave her his best and coldest glare a look guaranteed to frighten young girls and to keep anyone at a distance. but she met his gaze fully and continued to smile, and he found he couldn't maintain the icy look.there was something about the way she was looking at him that melted his determination. She had the most beautiful eyes and the milkiest skin Inuyasha had to look away. She may be Sangos cousin but under the skin she was just like Kikyo. calculating, shallow daddies little girl, running away from a horrible fate of marring a man that cant dance. you might as well call me kagome,you know you can be of great help to me Inuyasha. *(Inuyasha raised an eyebrow) you know this area fairly well I would think?. are there many unattached ranchers near edo?Unattached as in unmarried Inuyasha asked coldly, kagome nodded. is that why you are here your looking for a husband? she nodded again, yes a rancher. why a rancher? have you seen the way miroku looks a sango? sure I live here most of the time or close by anyway." I want someone to look at me that way, scince miroku is a rancher i thought." you cant go by that Kagome, i myself am a rancher first off Miroku is a lousy rancher. getting married and having a family didn't cure his itchy feet, its just that now when he gets the urge to wander he packs up Sango and the twins and  takes them with him, Bankotsu dose all the work when it comes to the ranch and I guarantee Bankotsu is not your type. I’m certain there are others?. trust me kagome sango and miroku have a one in a million marriage your more likely to be struck by lightning then to find what your looking for in edo. As likely as my taking advice from a man who managed to alienate the entire village, from what Ive heard no one likes you and im begenning to see why.Nobody likes the truth Kagome, still set on a rancher? yes Kagome answered" perhaps you can introduce me to your father."Inuyasha didn't move and his look was impassive but he was certain she knew she had touched a nerve, my father is already married and although Inuyoukai often take more then one mate without marking them my father only allows one bitch to his household. Inuyasha  didn't give her a chance to respond the shocked look on her face was enough. but she deserved it. surely she knew, surely Sango had told her at least as much as she knew. nobody knew it all exceptInuyasha and his father and a few ghosts he tried to bury. I’m sorry I shouldnt have said that Inuyasha, Its fine but from now on just leave me alone...Inuyasha...I’m"..No! you dont know me, you have no clue what its like to be hated for what you are. Kagome certainly understood that he didn't see or speak to his Father or even acknowledge him in any way. Inuyasha slowly sank onto the bed and let his mind wander back through the years. Early'st memory was his mother Izayoi his human mother and the daughter of a wealthy lord she was beautiful with long black hair and twinkling brown eyes the family fell on hard times then she met the demon lord his father. but then they were sent away and his mother was killed.he was five when his mother was shot and killed he was almost killed as well. but was pulled away from his mothers body by his older half brother Sesshomaru. So he survived and was brought here to his dads ranch. when he was told of his mothers  death he had tears in his eyes Inuyasha thought they were tears of guilt for sending them away. Toga begged Inuyashato stay but he refused he always did, he didn't realize until much later that he was trying to protect him,he had almost forgotten the lessons in life when He met Kikyo He would never forget it again. Inuyasha lay in the soft bed caught between sleep and full awareness he'd slept far to much in the past two weeks.And now even though it was night and the cabin was quiet he couldn't ease into deep sleep. His side was healing slower then he thought it should, Kagome was finally letting him eat at the table and walk around the house. Allowing him that was what she said and god help him that is how it felt to  him. it was taking  much longer for him to get his strength back as well, he must have been closer to death then he thought for his body to be so slow at healing. Kagome fussed over him all day cleaning his wound. Her hands as soft and gentle as a breeze, her touch was fatherly never lingering against his skin he couldn't understand why he was so drawn to her.WHAT Are you doing out of bed?. Inuyasha turned to see her watching him from the doorway it was a question hes was becoming accustomed to. letting in some fresh air do you approve doctor?. She didn't answer hugging her night gown to herbody theres  Storm coming," Inuyasha moved away from the window there was another long low rumble of thunder and Kagome trembled with fear. I don't like storms she said softly befor my sister Yukari married I would sneak into her room when a storm came at night. After she left home I had to wait out the storms alone, I was much to old to run to Daddy to hide my face in his shoulder as I did when I was little, she looked him straight in the eyes. unsmiling Undaunting  I should have stayed in my room and buried my head under the covers but I thought I could sit with you for awhileI guess it was a silly notion. this is a good sturdy cabin a little wind and rain wont hurt it or blow it away.I know i’m not scared. your not a very good liar but you can stay with me.The Thunder was getting closer with each flash of lightning. Don’t get to close to the window, if you have to watch move the chair back. I don't want to watch. Then Thunder and lightning were closer and kagome jumped it's beautiful though. yes bright and beautiful but dangerous.she turned and looked at him this is highly improper you know?."she said with a smile sitting in here in the middle of the night. staying in the cabin without a chaperon very improper. but this is Colorado not Philadelphia Kagome.why are you afraid of storms? I don't know its not a rational fear. Its not like i’m afraid Ill be struck by lightning or the cabin. Its just I cant control my heart beats I shiver every time the thunder crashes a loud boom sounded above like that, what are you doing? I’m closing the window I could have done that now back in bed for you she turned to leave the room aren't you going to tuck me in Inuyasha said with a wry smile.I swear a twenty five year old baby is what I've got on my handsIt seems like Sango told you a lot about me didn't you two have anything better to talk about when she visited you?.I Assure you we had many conversations about more Interesting subjects then yourself Mr Takahashi you know why I came her and my plans they don't include a...a half civilized moody..Say it Kagome, Half breed was That The word on the tip of your tongue?"...Good Night Inuyasha she turned her back and walked out of the room.Inuyasha had hardly spoken to her since the night before. He believed she had rejected him because of his demon blood.He said That not her, Truth be told she liked him, maybe more then that but how could she tell him that?, she had allowed him to believe it simply by not denying it. That had been easier then trying to tell him the truth, But what is the truth?. the truth is she was attracted to him and why not? he's handsome and she knew enough about him to see through his scowls and frowns that she was falling in love with him.Not in her plans but true none the less she was in love with him.What are you doing chopping wood?", getting my strength back. His words were Harsh his eyes were fierce, That look doesn't scare me yasha and we already have enough wood, and your not getting your strength back your sapping what little you have". now get back into the house Inuyasha glared at her and she glared back at him. It was clear he was unaccustomed to allowing anyone tell him what to do. And he didn't like it not one bit. Im fine a little exercise will do me good. NO" Inuyasha raised an eyebrow No?"he took a step forward and she took a step back no" he took another step forward and she took another step back.stop that Inuyasha, stop what? you said yourself i’m nothing but a sick weak old man. Who should be confined to a bed or is there another reason you want me in bed?, you couldn't catch me if you tried, are you sure little girl she turned on her heels and ran as fast as she could which wasn't very fast. She could hear him behind her his feet landing on the grassy earth his breathing got closer and closer she expected him to stop at any moment. But he stayed with her until she felt his strong arm snake around her waist and they both fell to the ground the very breath knocked out of her as she hit the ground.  Inuyasha covered her body with his for a moment he didn't move, Inuyasha are you alright?, I’m fine, Then your right your all better.. No you were right I cant move, I told you so you can gloat later. can you move at all are you bleeding again?. Try to take a deep breath she pressed against him and They rolled together slowly till his weight was off of her.  she was on top of him Inuyasha was strong but he still need'ed her.she could feel his heart beating against her, Sango told her that one day Inuyasha would find a girl that wasn't frightened half to death of him and heaven help them both when that happened. he didn't scare her in the least she kissed him and pulled away before he had a chance to react,she didn't know why she did it Inuyasha’s eyes flew open what in the hell did you do that for?"sorry you just looked like you needed to be kissed. They might have stayed there awhile if they hadn't heard the sound of someone clearing their throat, suikotsu was standing near the porch. I brought you some groceries miss  Higarashi I'll just leave them in the kitchen, thank you Suikotsu its very kind of you. he turned and looked at her I warned you about inuyasha he said in a low voice. I know you did but...Suikotsus eyes widened as he looked over her shoulder she turned her head to see Inuyasha approaching them very slowly, I see you can move again?, yes babe he answered to her mortification i finallygot my strength back. His words seemed to have a double meaning he reached out and plucked a long blade of grass from her hair dropping it to the ground, as he placed his arm around her. Kagome saw the buckboard disappear with a sinking heart he didn't know why he did it, why he made certain suikotsu left with the wrong impression, actually he did know why he didn't want her to marry a rancher he knew it was foolish he didn't want to see her... watch her grow fat with another mans child that thought stopped  him completely it was time for him to get away from the ranch away from edo. what did it matter who she married?, it didn't not at all but some how he already felt like she was his. you know before the sunsets on edo everybody will think you and I, I don't give a damn what they think,"During the next few days the women of edo came to the cabin alone or with guests. bringing cakes,bread and smoked meats, As well as fresh vegetables. they arrived each and everyone of them hoping to find Kagome rolling in the grass like Suikotsu had told had kagome known that is why they came was to gather gossip yes she did did she care no not really, but she charmed them all. pouring cup after cup of tea, praising every sweet pastry and loaf of bread that past under her nose, sheasked for recipes for the vegetables. Inuyasha always made brief and memorable appearances whats for dinner babe? he came through shirtless of course. sorry I Didn't know you had company Kagome had to bite her lip to keep from shouting the devil you didn't! I m leaving tomorrow he said Solemnly still refusing to step aside, his arms were crossed over his chest as he blocked her path.Tomorrow really? really Inuyasha said Stepping aside for her to brush past him, as soon as I put you on the stage.I’m not going anywhere, yes you are your going home, I most certainly am not they could stand there all day and not finish this argument. If I have to tie you up and throw you on the back of the buckboard with your bags I will he turned away from her Kagome stood in the middle of the room speechless For the first time in her life. She couldn't go home not yet.Then Inuyasha stalked into the room scowling, pulled her against him with a low curse and kissed her. This was not a kiss on the cheek, This was a kiss that locked lips to hers and held her tight to his chest she could barely breath. His mouth was strong and demanding and then something changed. He still held her but not so tightly, his lips still pressed against hers she wrapped her arms around Inuyasha’s waist then he pulled away. He had the strangest look in his amber eyes unsure of what just happened. Bankotsu stood in the doorway I brought over the buckboard as you asked you sure you don't need me to drive?, Ill do it Inuyasha said coldly. sure will hate to see you leave Miss Higarashi...Kagome stared at Inuyash, he could smell the tears getting ready to fall but she held them back. Another one of your performances you saw him coming and that is why you kissed me?" you must be proud of yourself for making me think you cared, I’m not going anywhere bankotsu she said softly if you  want to leave then leave.Ill stay in town till Sango comes back.you will be on that stage, I’m not Kagome snapped and you cant make me your not my keeper,my Father or my Husband. as Kagome stormed out of the cabin she finally let the tears fall, what ever  had driven him to go back in the cabin  and kiss her? where had the uncontrollable urge come from? he knew she believed the kiss to be another one of his plots to ruin her reputation an embrace to startle Bankotsu nothing more, he would allow her to believe that was grateful in fact that she did even if his heart was breaking this was for the best,he had no explanation for the act otherwise none at all.but he couldn't shake the memory of the kiss it was like being caught in a storm of lightning coursing through his body,the thunder in his heart he had never experienced anything like it before. The feeling of losing control his past experience with women left him void of emotion but Kagome was all emotion he only to look at her face to know what she was feeling right now.She was angry, hurt but there was a twinkle in her eyes he didn't like it not at all, she was up to something. she hadn't begged him to stay since they left the cabin, what are you up to, I don't know what your talking about what makes you think I’m up to something." your going home." I suppose eventually Ill go home but not now,thats not what i said Kagome. well what will you do ride with me the whole way? you put me on the stage Ill just get off at the first stop, will you ride all the way there with me? will you carry me to my house hand me to my father like i was some sort of criminal, what business is it of yours where I go like I said you are not my keeper.I will go where I choose, you really should go home. Thats not your concern is it,? I was a fool to think you really cared but it was all a game to you and I thought Inu had honor I guess I was wrong,  I've decided to wait at the hotel Till sango returns do you have a problem with that? they road the rest of the way to town in silence.will the stage be on time? last week it was an hour late Jakotsu answered, I wont be on it Inuyasha so give up." If you put me on it Ill kick and scream and Ill be back on the street before it can move ten feet, she was smiling when she delivered her threat. Inuyasha looked at her a ticket for the stage and a length of rope Inuyasha turned and walked away. jakotsu was concerned about what was happening are you alright? as he placed his hand on kagomes shoulder, as well as can be expected, I guess Inuyashais determined to get rid of me . why I thought Yuka replayed I mean I would just die if a man talked to me that way."why is he making you leave? because he's a pig headed bully...who’s to say why men do what they do?.outside Inuyasha was surrounded by a half a dozen men Kagome knew something was wrong as she ran towards them stop it!"she yelled as she pushed her way through, what do you think your doing?!" Kagome grabbed the rifle from the front of the buckboard let him go she screamed, now four men looked at her back off Lady one of them said this doesn't concern you, i said let him go!"come on sweetheart you know you cant use that thing, your gonna hurt someone if you not careful, yeah you if you don't let him go this is the winchester 73 a most effective center fire repeating rifle its also called the 44-40 or 44 caliber kagome dropped the lever and pulled it back up my cousin sango taught me to shoot do you feel lucky asshole. everyone paled He burned Toga Takahashis barn," I’m certain you mistaken, Inuyasha didn't burn anything. he was seen riding away on that damn black stallion of his another man yelled. it was during the storm, then I know your man is mistaken Inuyasha was with meall that night he didn't go anywhere.so your claiming Inuyasha didn't leave the cabin that night even as you slept? naraku spoke up.we weren't sleeping at all that night and i can tell you he didn't go anywhere, they didn't care if Inuyasha was Innocent or not they wanted to get rid of him, and would do so with no more regret then they might squash a bug. so your willing to swearin front of the whole town that you and Inuyasha have been living there in sin." I never said that but you believe what you want If thats what you want to believe but the only way your going to hurt him is to kill me first and how will that look for your village a heartless village that hangs innocent men on a whim and young mothers are shot down in the street you may try to keepit secret but Sango will know and it will spread like wild fire, soon she had the crowd in the palm of her hand there was only one person not swayed Naraku walked to the front and prepared to slap the horse's, what about my baby Naraku stopped the Mob stared at herthere was shock in the crowd, even Inuyasha looked down at her with an unreadable fire in his eyes if you hang him what will happen to our baby, what will Sango say,Suikotsu spoke up lets think about this now keep are wits about us if she swears Inuyasha was home that night, I have to tell you to cut him down, Naraku stepped into the wagon just cant keep your hands off the human women can you?knocked up sangos Cousin now were going to have to watch you marry the pretty little thing don't seem fair.Your crazy Kagome I'd rather hang, you know Naraku said we would be doing Sango and Miroku a real disservice if we didnt take care of this pronto preacher? you available this afternoon? the minister nodded, that really not necessary theres no hury, nonsense theres no reason to delay this" five guns were trained on Inuyasha only this time they were leading him to a much different fate Kagome paced the small room, Id much rather wait for Sango she said to no one in particular...And give Inuyasha Takahashi a chance to disappear Yuka spoke up that wouldn’t be right Kagome, it would have been right to wait for Miroku and Sango they would have known what to do but it wasn't going to be allowed might as well make the best of it. It appears the whole village will be present for my wedding she said with more then a trace of amusement" wouldn't a reception Afterward be Appropriate"?She turned questioning eyes to the women around her, Yeah something outside in the field behind the church surly we could put something together some kind of party punch and sandwiches maybe some music we'll see what we can do.THE Church was full and every man in the room was armed the front pew was filled with men their six shooters and rifles trained on her groom a shot gun wedding with the entire town in attendance shops closed down the stage was quickly hurried through even the black smith was silent was this a wedding or funeral even though she felt like a princess Inuyasha looked very little like prince charming at the moment, she could feel anger radiating from him like the heat from a fire, Inuyasha leaned over and whispered, Ill get you for this little girl the minister faltered a bit but continued, this Is your fault mr Takahashi, now be quiet and pay attention to the ceremony, Ill strangle you with my bare hands if its the last thing i do, no you wont Kagome answered him. Inuyasha? the minister Interrupted I do?...Do I have a choise? he looked at the men with the guns, I guess i do the minister repeated the oath to the bride and kagome was more responsive then her groom and then the minister pronounced them man and wife. you may kiss the bride, your supposed to lift the veil and kiss me she whispered, Ive done all i’m going to do Inuyasha stated , the room was silent as everyone waited a little kiss on the cheek will suffice and so he did he gave Kagome what she obviously didn't expect he wrapped his arms around her lowered his lips to hers and gave her a searing kiss that rocked her very soul and his as well and then her words came to him its much more Interesting to give them what they least expect and so he did the guns in the front pew lowered and still he kissed her, the minister cleared his throat and still he kissed her men in the back rose to get a better look and were jerked back into their seats by their wives and still Inuyasha kissed her when he finally released her Kagome took a breath and Inuyasha gave her a Devilish grin. Inuyasha decided his wife was right it really was more fun to give people what they least expected but he knew it wasn't the only reason he kissed her, he kissed her because he wanted to, he kissed her because he needed to, In one quick motion Inuyasha picked her up and walked with long strides away from the minister, this comes later Yasha your supposed to walk me...shut up woman you are my wife now, and you will do as i say and if i want to carry you out of the church then...I haven’t had a chance to explain my plan. plan? this is all part of a plan?Inuyasha asked  well in a way,then Naraku walked up at least let me kiss the bride he spoke up with a grin.the man lowered his face to kagome even as she tried to move away from him but it wasn't necessary before he could touch her with his lips Naraku went flying backwards and landed on his ass in the dirt he barely had time to catch his breath when Inuyasha was lifting him by the throat, touch my mate again Ill kill you he had the attention of everyone there but no one came forward, Inuyasha heard whispers Naraku tried to kiss Lady Kagome, that Naraku never had any Manners, Inuyasha took care of him good and then Kagome was by his side as she glared at his terrified face trying to decide weather to hit him herself, you can let him go Yasha he didn't mean any harm he's just an Ill  mannered oaf.

[roman-reigns-princess]

Cat & Mouse (Roman Reigns): Chapter 2

Chapter 1 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Read it on Wattpad Writing Masterlist

Warnings: 18+, smut(ish?), Alpha!Roman, Idk what else needs a warning, teasing(??), snarky!Lyra (she’s gettin real annoyed w/ Roman’s internal conflict, and she’s annoyed w/ seth cause idk man siblings fight)

Word Count: 1831 (this turned out a lil bit longer than I thought it would)

A/N: I’m sorry this chapter is trash, finals got me being like 50 shades of writers block. But we gon get Naomi and The Usos next chapter! (hopefully, idfk what my brain is doing anymore) I hope y’all enjoy this chapter, idk it’s annoying tf outta me but I can’t fix it aka im lazy.

Tag List (if anyone wants to be added, let me know): @m-a-t-91​ @mrsamberlopezgoodanoai​@simulated-heat​ @greatbreadwizard​ @hoodgirl163​ @sabrina-the-champ​ @thiickreigns​ @alexahood21​@ii-love-roman-reigns​ @queenreignsempire​ @flawlessglamazon​ @not-that-kinda-gurl08​ @x-fivefoot​  @finnbalorsdemonqueen​ @romanempirefics​ @rocketgirl2410​ @sausagefest1996​ @vebner37​@macfizzle​ @cute-face-chubby-waist​ @wwefoever70​ @horcruxhunter5972​

She wriggled around in his arms until she found a position she liked, not that any position that involved her on top of Roman could ever be uncomfortable, but she wanted to tell Naomi about this, and she certainly couldn’t have Roman looking at her phone. While it may be a long journey for Roman, it was going to be a fun ride for her.

By the time they reached the hotel near their next venue it was nearly 2am, everyone was more than a little tired and irritable, and it certainly didn't help that it was raining. So it was no surprise that Lyra and Seth managed to pick a fight with each other. Seth had opened the trunk and a bag had fallen out, startling everyone.

"That better not be my makeup, Seth, or you're gonna have to replace anything that gets fucked up," Lyra snapped at her brother as she got out of the car, Roman following her closely.

"Watch your tone, it's not your shit anyways," Seth shot back, holding up one of Roman's bags.

"Whatever," she said, reaching to grab her own bags out of the trunk. She grabbed her suitcase and pulled it out, but in doing so she knocked against Seth.

"What the fuck is a your problem tonight," he glared at her, Roman and Dean gave each other a look, knowing they'd probably have to keep the siblings apart for the next few days.

"My problem? That was an accident, you're the one being a little dick," she snarled, before Seth could reply, Roman grabbed her arm and pulled her away.

"I think y'all are just a little too tired and cranky, and just need some time away from each other," Roman pointed out as he picked up Lyra's remaining bag. "Lyra, you can stay with me for tonight."

"I don't need you to sort my shit out, Reigns, I can fight my own damn battles," she bit back, taking her bag from him before she headed inside to check in. Roman rolled his eyes, got his own things, and followed her in, leaving Seth and Dean to get their bags.

Neither Roman nor Lyra said anything to each other as they made their way to their room. Once they were in the room, she dumped her things by one of the beds, dug out a pair of boxers and a black tank top, and headed straight for the bathroom to take a hot shower and relax.

Turning the heat all the way up, she let the scorching water wash over her, and clear her head for fifteen minutes. She groaned to herself as she got out of the shower; she knew she'd been a complete bitch to Roman, and now she needed to figure out a way to apologize to him. Drying herself off, she slipped on her clothes, and wrapped her hair up in the towel.

"Shower's all yours," she mumbled, not meeting Roman's eyes as she walked over to her bed. She took out her hair dryer as she heard the shower come on. She spent nearly twenty minutes, mindlessly drying her hair, trying to think of a way to apologize.

When she finally set it down, she could hear Roman using the hotel's dryer in the bathroom, meaning he would come out soon and go to bed, and she wanted to clear the air before either of them went to sleep. Knowing Roman could be just as stubborn as she was, she decided to sit on his bed so that he wouldn't be able to brush her off.

She grabbed her phone before hopping onto Roman's bed so that she could text Naomi and let her know what had happened that night. She explained the situation to her friend, hoping she could help.

Naomi: Did you really say that to him??

Lyra: I know I know, it was stupid, but I'm tired and Seth had me all cranky. Help me!! What do I do to make it better?

Naomi: Girl, I'm sorry, you're on your own, idk how to help :/

Lyra: You're dating his cousin!! You gotta have SOME ideas, what do you do when Jimmy gets mad?

Naomi: I usually just cook him his fave food, and...well I'm not gonna go into details, but like I don't think you can do that with Roman.

Lyra: Urgh, fine fine, I'll figure this out on my own.

Naomi: Sorry girl, I wish I could help more.

She was so focused on texting that the sound of Roman clearing his throat made her jump. She looked up to see him standing in front of her; for a huge, 6'3" man he sure knew how to keep uncharacteristically quiet when he wanted to.

She gulped as she stared up at him; he was standing there, completely shirtless, in black shorts, with his hair up in a loose bun; she had to will her blush away, she'd seen him shirtless plenty of times, but she always ended up blushing.

"You lose your way or something?" He asked, raising an eyebrow; Lyra had to bite back an equally sarcastic response as she stood and moved out of his way.

"I, uh, I just wanna say I'm sorry for being a snappy bitch earlier, you were just tryna help and I was an asshole," she said, rubbing the back of her neck. She looked up at him to see his expression had softened. "And, um, thanks for switching rooms even after I said that."

"Well can't have you and Seth blowing up at each other and fuckin up another room," he said, giving her a smile, he reached out to pull her into a hug; she couldn't help but bury her face in his chest, his scent was soothing and exhilarating all at once. "Apology accepted, I'm sure I'll find a way for you to make it up to me."

"I can think of plenty of ways to make it up to you," she said, looking up at him as she lightly dragged her nails down his chest.

"Oh yeah?" He said, smirking down at her as he pushed her back until her legs hit the bed and she fell onto it, her phone slipping from her fingers; she stared up at him with raised eyebrows, before a gleeful smile crossed her face when he crawled between her legs. "Y'know, not many people have the guts to be that snappy with their Alpha even when they're mad as fuck."

"Who said you're my Alpha?" She shot back without thinking it through; she bit her lip when she felt a growl rumble through his chest, his brown eyes adopting a faint silvery glow.

"I said so," he growled, his right hand grabbed her hair and yanked her head roughly to the side, making her gasp, she wasn't going to admit it to him but nothing turned her on more than when Roman was rough and dominating.

His other hand was slowly pushing up her tank top, his fingers exploring her skin with agonizingly slow motions that sent sparks through her body. His eyes were glowing a bright silver as his head dipped to her neck; his lips were soft, contrasting with his scruff tickling her skin.

She wound her arms around his neck to pull him closer to her, and almost subconsciously spread her legs further apart when she felt him pressing against her through his shorts. She found it hard to keep her thoughts in order as he started to suck a mark on the side of her throat.

"You, uh, you don't get to dictate that, you, uhm, if you want, oh fuck," she moaned as she felt him nip at the sensitive spot, not hard enough to break the skin, but enough to make her freeze. "R-Roman? Ro', w-what're you doing?"

Although she wanted nothing more than to have him claim her, she didn't think Roman would be too happy if his wolf made that decision on his own, but with his body pinning her down, there wasn't much she could do to stop him. She tried tugging his hair to get him to look at her, but only succeeded in making him moan into her neck, and grind his hips against hers which further weakened her resolve to stop him.

She trailed her fingers up his back, enjoying the feeling of his muscles shifting beneath them. She tried saying something again but Roman shut her up with a hand over her mouth. She whimpered against it as she felt his other hand slowly slip into her boxers.

What little determination she had left, dissolved when she felt his long, calloused fingers squeezing her smooth ass hard enough to bruise as he pulled her against his grinding hips. She ran her hands down his chest, letting one rest on his tattoos while the other reached for his shorts.

Roman had started kissing his way down to her chest when a shrill PING from her phone had him jerking away with an animalistic snarl. Lyra cursed herself for not silencing her phone as Roman pulled his hands away and stood up, a guilty look gracing his face.

"Uhm, we should probably go to sleep, not together, like separately I mean, fuck, I'm sorry, that shouldn't have happened," he rambled, his, now brown, eyes avoiding hers as he stepped aside to let her pass. She stood up, adjusted her top, and snatched her phone off his bed, but instead of going over to her bed like she knew he wanted, she stood facing him with her arms crossed. "Please just go to bed, we're both tired, that's it."

"Really? We're not gonna talk about this?" She retorted, trying not to sound exasperated; he fixed her with a look that told her that they definitely weren't going to talk about it anytime soon. "I'm not a child, you can't just send me to bed when you don't wanna deal with me."

"Watch me," was all he said before scooping her up, walked over to he bed, and dumped her on it, all the while ignoring her protests. "Now, we're going to go to sleep in our respective beds, and tomorrow we're going to be traveling with my cousins, and you'll room with Naomi."

Had she not been as annoyed at him, she would've found his commanding voice hotter than she did at that moment. Instead she stuck her tongue out at him, then turned away with a huff, not caring that that was kind of an immature move.

She heard Roman growl behind her, but chose to ignore him. She could feel him still standing by her bed as she reached to charge her phone, as if he wanted to say something; part of her hoped he would just so she could be petty and ignore him, but she was disappointed once again as she heard him sigh and walk away.

As she lay in her bed, she scrolled through her phone one last time to check what had interrupted them, only to find that it was a spam email. Muttering to herself in annoyance, she silenced her phone and set it down on the nightstand before pulling the covers up around her. If there was such a thing as angry sleep, that's what she was going to be doing that night.

[writing--ramblings]

Protector pt.2

Derek x Reader

Summary: Strange things begin to happen out of nowhere

Warnings: a little smutty in the middle ;)

A/N: Hope you all enjoy~ this is going to be quite a long series… I hope. ^•^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lydia

 The girls hair was pulled into a bun as she ran. She reached a cement wall and turned, holding her taser gun up. She looked around furiously until her eyes landed on the target, she shot, a thud sounded as whatever she was aiming at dropped. She turned when she heard a sound and reached for another weapon. She screamed

“Lydia!” Stiles shook me awake. I was screaming, I shot up, breathing heavily.

“She’s in danger, Stiles” I looked out the window, watching the rain.

“Who? Who’s in danger?” I didn’t respond, I didn’t know her. “Kira? Malia?” Stiles was rubbing my shoulders and I leaned into him, finally allowing myself to lay down and melt into his arms.

“No, not them. They’re okay” A few minutes passed and we were both nearing sleep.

“[Y/N]….” I whispered as I drifted off. ——————– Ugh. The work day was going by extremely slowly. It was 7:30 in the morning when you were called in to work, apparently Janie’s car broke down and no one else was answering. You yawned as you read the book Infront of you and were surprised to see Shirlene in front of you with two coffees in hand.

“Heeeyyy, [Y/N]” she handed you one of the coffee cups. “I didn’t know what you would like so I just went and got you the one that sounded the fanciest.” She smiled and took a sip of her own. “Figured you’re one of those big city types” her southern drawl was much nicer than her husband’s.

“Thanks so much, Shirlene. Wow, that was so nice of you” you smiled at her and she looked around, commenting on your workplace.

You and Shirlene spent over an hour talking, she did most of it, which was nice. Shirlene was the type of person who knew everything about everyone, but she just couldn’t peg you and Derek. It bothered her, it showed.

“Did you hear about that poor little black boy that they found out in the woods near the highway?” She shook her head

“No, what happened?” you quirked your head

“ Well, I use little sparingly. He was actually pretty big, maybe bout 6'4? Handsome as can be… If I were ten years younger” She went a little off subject “Anyway, they found his dead body with some kinda bite mark on his hip and he had this black liquid comin’ out his eyes and nose and all” she pointed to the corresponding body parts.  "His poor mama, havin’ ta bury her son" she shook her head.

You and Shirlene talked a bit more but she left a while after. Your shift was almost over when Janie came in to pick up the rest of it, apparently her tires had popped which was strange because she was so excited about getting them placed on last week. New tires don’t pop. You lingered in the shop, talking to Janie when Derek walked in, you walked over to him.

“Is this going to be an everyday occurrence?” You joked with him. He said nothing and pulled you to him.

“We need to go.” He said once you pulled away from each other. You said your goodbyes as you walked out the door.

Derek ushered you into the truck and tossed your bike in the back before getting in. Once you arrived to the trailer you looked at Derek quizzically, your hands on your hips.

“Something’s happening” his lip pressed into a line.

“Well I figured that.” You gave him a ‘duh’ look.

“No, something’s happening and I don’t know what it is” he looked at you seriously, it was a stare that made you straighten up.

“Well, tell me how you’re involved and maybe I can help.” You touched his arm lightly. “Is this about the dead body?” He furrowed his brows.

“How do you know about that? What do you know about that?” He tilted his head.

“Okay so, Shirlene came by today and we talked for a little, so her cousin’s fiance is a nurse…” He was smiling at you, amused, but, you knew he wanted you to get to the point.

So you told him everything you knew about the kid. He was a teenager,maybe seventeen, on the more poor side of town, even worse than the trailer park. He lived with his mom and he was kind of a loner. Derek sat down hearing the story, he began tapping his foot. You continued, he had a bite mark on his hip and black stuff was coming out of his ears,eye, and nose, his veins were a bit discolored as well. Derek’s eyes began to water, he only let a few tears fall, you almost swore you saw them turn an odd shade of blue for a second. Must be the lighting, it wasn’t the first time it the light hit his eyes that way. You stood Infront of him and he rested his head on your stomach as you rubbed his back and his shoulders.

“This has happened before. Not this exact thing but, something” he told you after he pulled away, you sat next to him.

“I can’t tell you everything but, I can tell you something.” He inhaled. “Someone’s trying to get my attention right now. I don’t know who it is or why” he rubbed your leg.

“How does a dead teenager get to you?” You were confused as to how he tied in to all this.

“I just, I knew a guy once” he had a look that begged for no more questions. You nodded and rested your head on his shoulder.

“I have to go.” He muttered after a while.

“I know” even though you knew, it didn’t stop you from looking at him with pleading eyes. You needed him here. He took your head in his hands and kissed you softly, licking your bottom lip lightly. The moan that escaped your lips gave him the okay to intertwine his tongue with yours, your lips began moving together for a while longer before he pulled away.

“Oh God. We’re the people that make out while the killer’s on our trail” you groaned and he laughed.

“I’ll be back before nightfall.” He pulled a bag from under the sink and handed you a jar of some black dust. “Okay, so remember when we moved in together last year?” You nodded. “Remember how I told you that our apartment was lined with that stuff?” You nodded again. “Okay, so is this trailer. You remember what to do right?” He turned to you

“Yes, Derek, I’m not five. I remember” you huffed, trying not to be annoyed.

“I’m just making sure. And it isn’t enough to just do it. You have to believe it’ll work.” You sighed

“I’m sorry, I’m just a little freaked out, I have no idea what’s going on” He still wasn’t telling you very much.

“I know, but you have to trust me.” He wrapped you into his arms. “You have to trust me.” He whispered into your hair.

“I do” you told him honestly, letting him go. You had to show him that you were strong.

“Don’t let anyone but me in. Absolutely no one” he said before kissing your lips and forehead.

As soon as he left you dropped the black ash in front of the door and closed all the windows, dropping the shades as you did. Of course you felt a little odd doing this at one in the afternoon but you had no choice. About three hours later you’d heard someone walking around the trailer. You moved slowly, peeking out the window, you saw Katrina, the weird girl from the potluck, as she looked in the windows of your truck, you found it odd that Derek didn’t take it. She walked to the trailer and peaked in the front window, she couldn’t see anything and she huffed knocked on your door.

“[Y/N], honey? It’s me, Katrina?” What did she want? “I wanted to apologise for my behavior at the potluck!” You watched her as she jiggled the handle to the trailer, trying to open the door. She failed and groaned as she began walking away she pulled out her cell phone. What the hell? —— By the time sunset hit you’d already finished your book and were running out of things to do. You almost fell asleep, clutching your pepper spray and pocket knife until you heard your gravel kick up, you began to sit up.

“[Y/N]!” It sounded like Derek but it was almost a gutteral growl. “Baby open the door and pick up he ash” he told you, you shot up and did as he said. The door swung open and pulled you close. “Who was here?” He said as he pulled away and began inspecting you. How did he know? How did he always know?

“Katrina…Oddly enough” you furrowed your brows.

“Potluck bitch?” He furrowed his and you nodded. “What?” He murmured.

“Right? She said she wanted to apologise…What’d you find out?” You wanted to hear his news.

“Well, the black stuff is my worst fear, there are only a few people who know about this,” he lifted your Mason jar. “Very few. People who live in my world use it for a specific purpose” he began to pace.

“To inhibit” you slowly took a seat on the couch.

“Exactly. This was in his veins… I’ve only seen this happen once.” He looked at the jar.

“What is it?” You took the jar out of his hand

“It’s called mountain ash. It comes from a very special tree, it keeps a certain type of…Blood out.” It was so strong that it would Keenan entire body out? You decided so save that question for later.

“How do you get mountain ash in your veins?” You whispered tilting the jar in the light. —- After an evening of leftover spaghetti and trying to piece together what was happening with the little information that Derek was giving you, you were curled up against Derek with him making circles on your hip with his finger.

“Evennwith all this..It’s nice having you home at night” you whispered.

“It’s nice being home. I can’t wait until this is every night” he cupped your ass gently after you hummed in agreement. You were both quiet for a few minutes

“Are you a spy?” You blurted out.

“No.” He said with a light chuckle.

“Shame.” You sighed before rolling on your back, “be a lot hotter if you were” you smirked at him briefly.

“Oh?” He smiled with a raised eyebrow and leaned over you, kissing your neck. “I’m not hot, now?” He bit down on your collarbone, smirking at your moan.

“N-no–” you were cutoff by your own moan.

“No?” He grinned against your skin and took one of your taut nipples into his mouth.

“That’s not…What I meant” you said between heavy breaths.

“What did you mean?” He began kissing down your stomach. “Did you mean that I’m the most attractive man that you’ve ever laid eyes on?” He dipped his tongue in your belly button.

“Yes” you whispered

“Or did you mean that I’m so handsome that everytime you think about me you get so hot and so wet that you’re nearly dripping when I get home?” He pulled your shorts down and kissed your thighs.

“Yes” you moaned out, arching your back at the sensation.

“Tell me, my love” he began to undo his pants, you bit your lip as you heard them fall. He positioned himself between your legs. “What did you mean?” He growled and you moaned loudly. —- You’d like to mark the next day as uneventful but that just isn’t how things work now, is it? You spent a majority of the morning hanging out with Derek, making breakfast together and playing cards. You were off today so you could spend your day like you usually did when Derek wasn’t busy and you were off. Well, not completely usual, you needed a break from the past two nights.

Hell broke loose when Derek came back from the store with no items and a tight jaw. Apparently there was another death - another murder - this time the girl was blonde she had some type of heart condition, she didn’t have very many friends. She was also a teenager. She’d had the exact same black liquid coming from her eyes, mouth, and ears.

“This is not what I came here for.” His voice was dangerously low. “I don’t have time for this.” He gripped the table tightly, his breathing labored. He was turned away from you, his body bent into a fighting stance.

“Derek..” you said softly, he slowly had his breathing back to normal as your hands rubbed his back.

Slowly, one by one he began to go back to himself. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled and turned around to pull you into a hug.

“It’s okay, I know you’re stressed.” You mumbled into his chest.

“You have no idea.” He grumbled and pushed your hair behind your ear and began to nibble at it. “I think I broke the table” he whispered. You pushed away from him and punched his chest.How the fuck does one man break so much furniture?

“Again?!” He just looked away sheepishly.

“Stay here.” Derek said and walked out of the trailer down the gravel path quickly. You watched through the window, it was Bobby and Rachel from the other night.

“We just wanted to wish y'all a happy travel for wherever you may go in life” Rachel seems like she smoke a lot of weed. What? You opened the door and walked over to them.

“You’re leaving?” You rose an eyebrow.

“Honey, in my experience when people start dyin’. You wanna get outta there before you’re the next body on the banner.” Bobby shrugged. You nodded and wished them luck before they left.

“I have to go tonight” he clenched his fist waiting for the disappointed with that you usually have to accompany the sentence, but it didn’t come.

When nightfall came Derek had given you the mountain ash and you lined the front door once he left. It was one in the morning and Katrina was at your door again. This time a blind man came along with her. You watched from your window.

“She’s in there, I can smell her” his voice was sinister.

“[Y/N]! Come out and Play” she yelled at my trailer. “Don’t you sorry, you won’t get hurt too bad.” She was walking around in a dizzy circle. “Well. That’s a lie..But! You won’t die” she tapped a finger on her chin. “Mmm… That might be a lie, too” she giggled evilly. Suddenly the blind man’s was snapped to your window. You backed away, breathing heavily.

“Come darling, we have more important things to do,” the man told Katrina. “Let’s leave the gifts.” You heard a thump and a screeching noise. You peeked out of the window again and saw they’d left something in the bed of your truck and what looked like a spiral on your window.

About an hour after Derek called to you loudly and you picked up your mountain ash and threw the trailer open. You saw Derek, heaving. He was pissed, he looked at you, his face so tightly wound that you thought he’d rip. You ran to each other and he lifted you off the ground.

“You’re okay” he kissed you all over your face. You looked into each other’s eyes for what could have been an eternity but, it only lasted a couple of minutes.

When you contained yourselves, you walked over to the truck and covered your nose at the stench radiating off of it. Derek stepped in front and lifted the paper that was on top, a bow prominently displayed.

“Where is he?” He mumbled, reading the paper and lifting the blanket that covered the contents. Derek covered your mouth as soon as you began your scream. It was a dead teenage boy, well, what was left. It looked like it had been buried for months, his body was already decomposing, his blonde hair leaving patchy bald spots, he looked like he’d been dug up. You pointed the spiral on your car window out to Derek and he let out a literal animalistic growl.

“Get in the trailer and get your things. I’ll take care of this.” He pushed you forward gently. “We’re leaving.” You knew not to ask questions. And to be honest you were to shocked to do anything, so you nodded at Derek and got to work.

What the hell had your life come to? Dead bodies just showing up at your doorstep? Fleeing town to town? Hunting town to town? You didn’t know what was going on and you wanted answers. But right now your life was in danger and the love of your life is out there growling and reburying bodies.

After you were done packing two duffle bags worth of clothes and keepsakes that you and Derek have collected over time, you tossed them in the truck bed where the dead teenager used to lye. Derek was just in time for you to push the backpack full of food and snacks in the front as he tossed in his ‘work bag’.

He kissed your hand as you drove down the road, watching the town fade in the rearview mirror. As soon as you’d put enough space between you and murder town, Derek pulled out his phone.

“Argent.” He said quickly. “We have a problem. Someone else is looking for Isaac” you watched with curious eyes, not realizing that your nails were digging into your hands. His voice had a grave tone as he said “Duecalion”

[theartoffracturedthoughts-blog]

❦ 23.) Get It Together

"And you'll only have yourself to blame, if you continue to live this way" - India Arie 

|R H Y A N| 

"How you feeling?" I asked Mila as she sat on the floor messing with her fingers.

Her wild curls were all over her head, and she was dressed in Cookie Monster pajama pants with a wife beater. The scent of the Dove body wash coming from her brown skin, swirled throughout the room.

"Ready for it to be over with. Najeem is a little mad at me." Mila shrugged as I kissed on Heaven'S forehead.

"Why? You decided not to keep it?" I asked with sad eyes, thinking back to my abortion and how hurt Elijah was when he found out.

"I'm keeping the baby, I'm just not as happy as he wants me to be." Mila admitted raking her fingers through her hair.

"I definitely can relate. That's how I was with my first pregnancy. I would cry for days on end. It took me hearing my baby's heartbeat, before it hit me I was about to be a mother and this was something a lot of women didn't get to experience." I sighed, "And right after I found out the sex, I miscarried and I felt so low Mila."

My eyes burned, thinking back to that dark place me and Elijah were in when we lost our first child. No one knows the physical pain I went through, and mentally it fucked me up for a long time.Mila stared at me with big tears in her round eyes, while chewing at her bottom lip.

"I felt like I couldn't do anything right, when it came to me and Elijah's relationship. I was selfish, and I couldn't even carry a baby for him. So ultimately I ended up leaving, then I found out I was pregnant again and got an abortion." I admitted shaking my head at the thought, "That broke my baby's heart when I told him. The move I made was so selfish, based off what I would lose and gain from the situation."

I watched Mila wipe her eyes, and let out a sigh as she stared at floor.

"I know this isn't the happiest moment of your life right now because of all the things you could be doing, but this is your blessing." I smiled at her, "You get to experience something a lot of females can't, with someone who genuinely loves you. I can assure you when you become a mother, all those thoughts you're having now will fly out the window."

Heaven let out a breath, causing me to look down at her and see her sleeping just like Elijah. I kissed her one last time, before laying her in the crib with Brix who I already shared my time with.

I walked over, and helped Mila up off the floor giving her a strong hug. She hugged me tightly, and just cried on my shoulder while I sympathized knowing that exact feeling.

"We love you Mila, and have so much faith in you. You're going to be a good mommy girl." I assured her as my phone began to beep back to back with notifications.

I rolled my eyes, as we pulled away from each other and Mila laughed at me as I held a stank face staring at my phone. Unlocking my phone, I went to Instagram seeing that I was being tagged in the same post by people.

I realized it was something Lolo posted, causing me to snarl. I honestly wasn't trying to go there with this bitch, because I was trying to fix things with my man.

She a baby mama, and that's all her ass will ever be.

It was a picture of her with a black eye, busted lip, and broken nose causing me to giggle at the sight. Finally, somebody else popped her ass cause she talks too much shit.

SweetndLo: The shit I go through with daughter's father 😔. Ladies it's never okay to let a man beat you! I've dealt with the disrespect from him one too many times, and this is the second time this man has put his hands on me! How the fuck am I supposed to look my daughter in the face, and explain her daddy did this to me?! If a man hits you once, he will hit you again! It doesn't make it any better his family is going to support his dumb ass, along with his dumb ass other baby mama. I just want justice. #JusticeForLo

My nostrils flared at the post, and I tried to control my anger thinking of Eli and Halo. I wasn't sure what Lolo was up to this time, but I didn't appreciate her lying on my man's name especially with all the shit he has going on business wise.

It wasn't long before I hopped on the post.

BigBootyRhy: @SweetndLo Pussy ass ho take this down and quit lying on my man name. I ain't on house arrest no more bitch, and I ain't scared to go to jail again. Lying for some fucking likes and followers. Dumb ass lil girl. #CatchMeOutsideHowBoutThat

I left the app, and hit Elijah's contact icon. Dialing his number, the phone rang before it went straight to voicemail making me frown.

"Mila call your cousin. I think he has me blocked and this is urgent." I spoke going back to the post, seeing that Brae and Adonis were also on the post.

SoBrae: @SweetndLo You getting good with this makeup sis. Put some respeck on Eli name, he didn't do shit!

AdonisThePhotographer: @SweetndLo Bitch if you don't take this shit down!

"It's going to voicemail Rhy." Mila voiced, as I began to panic while chewing my lip.

Lolo responded back to my comment, making me kiss my teeth.

SweetndLo: @BigBootyRhy I don't have a reason to lie! Your man came over here and beat my ass like I was a nigga off the street, and not the mother of his child. He probably been knocking yo lil dense ass around and you haven't said shit but I'm saying something and I'm pressing charges and getting full custody! While you on here arguing with me, you might wanna go get yo man from county and get money for a lawyer cause I can guarantee you I'm going to slaughter his ass in court!!!!

Before I could respond, my phone rang from a number I didn't recognize. I quickly answered, thinking the worst and knowing it could be Elijah.

"Hello?" I answered pacing the floor, as Mila watched my every move.

"Baby," Elijah sighed into the phone as my heart felt like it fell down to my stomach.

I knew something was wrong. The tone in his voice said it all, not to mention he called me baby and he was supposed to be mad at me.

"Baby?" Elijah spoke again.

"I'm here. What's wrong? What's going on? Lolo is on Instagram-"

"Fuck that ho. I need you to come bond me out. They got my bail set at fifty grand." Elijah spoke as I snatched up my keys and purse, quickly leaving the room.

"I'm coming baby, sit tight." I replied running downstairs.

"I love you man." Elijah spoke in a sincere tone.

"I love you too baby. I'm coming." I assured him, running out the front door.

❤️❤️❤️

"Can you tell me what's taking so long? I bonded him out five hours ago." I spoke in annoyance, to the lady at the desk.

She was too busy stuffing her mouth with white powdered doughnuts, and watching some shit on her phone. Of course she didn't care, and wasn't trying to hear anything I was saying.

I just wanted my man out, that's all.

The door buzzed, causing me to turn and see the door come open. Elijah stepped out holding his bag of belongings, not looking like himself at all.

I ran over to him, giving him a hug. He wrapped his arm around me, and rocked us back and forth.My hands roamed his body, making sure he came out the same way he went in. I wouldn't hesitate to sue these white folks about my man.

"You okay?" I asked looking up at him, seeing a few scratches on his face.

"I'm good." He assured me refusing to let me go.

He leaned down and kissed my lips, holding a hand full of my hair. The kiss was so strong, it scared me a little.

It was as if he was savoring these moments.

Elijah broke the kiss, and pulled me out of the station. I offered to drive, and he didn't argue.The ride home was filled with silence. Every so often I would look over at the bag in his hand, seeing his shirt that was covered in blood.

There was a few spots of blood on the wife beater he was sporting, but not as much as his other shirt. His knuckles were bruised, blue and purple and his hands had scratches as if someone was clawing at his skin.

I knew something happened between him and Lolo, but I didn't wanna pry and ask. Elijah would tell me in his own time.

When we got home, we both went upstairs to the room where he fell out on the bed. I went to the bathroom to run him a bath in our in floor tub.

Once the tub was full, Elijah came in the bathroom and stripped naked wasting no time climbing in. I watched as he shut his eyes, and relaxed after turning on the jets to keep the water warm.

I allowed him to have some time to hisself, while I went back to our bedroom and found him some clothes to sleep in. Afterwards I went downstairs, and decided to whip up something quick.

After I got dinner all ready, I went back upstairs to find Elijah still sitting in the tub appearing to be in deep thought. I let out a sigh, and dropped my clothes before stepping slowly into the water.

Once I was down in the tub, I walked over to Elijah and wrapped my arms around his neck. His fingertips slid up and down my back softly, before he wrapped his arm around me and buried his face in my neck.

The hug began to grow tighter, and small sniffled came from his nose as I let out a sigh and kissed his cheek.

"It's okay baby, let it out." I coached him, before he started to son into the crook of my neck while I rubbed his back.

I didn't know what was going on, nor did I care. I just that I was here.

I would always be here.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Reaching out for Elijah, I was greeted by the coldness of the silk sheets. My eyes opened, and I looked around as the moonlight crept in our bedroom.

I sat up looking at the clicking, noticing it was three in the morning. My eyes traveled to the French doors, and I saw Elijah sitting on our balcony.

Slipping out of bed, Elijah's wife beater fell down on my nude body as I crept outside. He was so zoned out, he didn't even feel my presence.

"Babe," I spoke softly, causing him to look up at me, "It's three in the morning, come back to bed."

"Can't sleep." He mumbled glancing at the iPad on the small table, showing footage of the nursery, Mila's room, and Halo's room who was home since Adonis dropped her off last night.

He grabbed my hand, and tugged at it gently asking me to sit in his lap. I wasted no time finding a seat on his lap, and laying my head on his chest.

I placed gentler kisses on his bare chest, as he rubbed my arm and rested his head on top of mine. It was peaceful, listening to the sound of crickets this time of morning along with the gentle breeze.

"I lost my shit yesterday. I'm sorry for not thinking of the kids and you, but I'm not sorry for beating that bitch ass. If her neighbor wouldn't have called the police, she would be dead." Elijah assured me.

"Baby what happened? What did she do?" I asked curiously.

"I went and met with my lawyer yesterday. He starts telling me about this case, then proceeds to tell me that they noticed Halo's hospital records from when she was born was missing from her tests. Come to find out, Lolo paid her doctor to hide the records because she had been drinking during her pregnancy. If the doctor would've kept it on file, they would've reported her to dcf. Long story short, she the reason my baby deaf." Elijah confessed, letting out a breath he had been holding.

I shook my head, not knowing what to say. A million different scenarios played in my mind, of all the things that could have happened to Halo.

She could've been brain dead, blind, born with Down syndrome, etc. Things could've been worse.Tears began to swell my eyes, as a burning sensation of hate sat in my chest. Lolo had me so tight right now, it wasn't even funny.

Halo was Innocent in all of this, and yet her dumb ass decisions affected her for the rest of her life.

How do you live with yourself knowing you're the reason your daughter is going deaf?

A warm tear fell on my nose, causing me to look up at Elijah who had his lips tucked and his eyes shut. I could feel my baby's pain.

"My baby scarred for the rest of her life behind this shit. It ain't shit I can do about it." He spoke with his voice cracking.

"It could've been worse babe." I tried to reason, drying his tears, "And although you can't do anything, at least you tried and you've been going through this process with her trying to make her as comfortable as she can be. You made the effort, you're not the deadbeat."

We sat in silence, just holding each other. I was just as hurt as Elijah was, Halo was apart of me too.

"Thank you." Elijah spoke kissing my forehead, "Thank you for being there when I need you, and for being my voice of reason."

I smiled small, and cuddled close to his chest.

"I know we need to talk about us-"

"It's cool. We'll get to it." I assured him, rubbing the side of his face.

Elijah leaned down and pecked my lips, while I returned the peck staring at him. We pecked each other's lips again, and again until I straddled his lap resulting in him removing the shirt from my body.

The cool air caused goosebumps to form on my skin, as Elijah kissed my neck making his way down to my chest. I let out a low breath, before taking my bottom lip into my mouth as he licked and sucked on my breasts.

I could feel his manhood poking from underneath me, resulting in a pulsating feeling between my thighs. With each kiss and touch, my inner walls grew wetter sliding from my inner walls down on Elijah's basketball shorts.

Elijah lifted us briefly, pushing his basketball shorts down until they fell to his ankles causing his hard member to poke at my entrance. I practically whined at the feeling, not wanting to beg although I wanted to feel it inside me so bad.

Us wanting each other in any type of way was worse than drugs.

Elijah took his manhood sliding it gently against my wet folds in a teasing manner, smirking at the sight of my juices sticking to him and he hadn't even slid inside me. Positioning himself at a stand still, he guided me down on his manhood bringing out a small gasp escape my lips.

It had been so long, I felt like a born again virgin who was having her walls torn apart. I pushed on his chest, as he pushed me further down.

As my walls adjusted to his length, I let out a breath of air and stared at Elijah who stared at me in return massaging his fingertips in my waist. Sliding a hand from my waist to my neck, Elijah wrapped his hand around it pulling me forward kissing me with tongue as a series of butterflies fluttered inside my stomach.

With the other hand, he slapped my ass demanding that I start riding him in which I began to slowly roll my hips while I stared at Elijah with low eyes.

"I love you forever." He whispered as our lips touched a little.

"I love you too." I replied letting out a gasp as he thrusted upward, with a strong stroke.

It felt good to be home.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

"Rhyan." I heard a little whisper.

"Hmm?" I groaned feeling like I had been hit with a ton of bricks as my hair laid disheveled on my head.

I can't remember how long me and Elijah were up last night/this morning but it was late. We went from the balcony, to the floor in our room, the wall, and eventually to the bed.

All I knew was I was sore, and exhausted.

"So I was walking by the nursery, and the twins crawled out the crib. Ain't that something?"

The voice spoke, as I recognized it belonged to Halo.

My face frowned up in confusion, knowing my damn near five month old kids were not crawling out cribs. I immediately shot up in bed, seeing Halo holding Brix damn near about to toss him over her shoulder, and an arm around Hev's neck trying not to drop her.

"Oh my God!" I screeched grabbing Hev who was giving me help me eyes.

"You need to stop being dramatic. She not dead." Halo spoke with her upper lip curled, patting Brix on the back as he continued to lay his mouth on her cheek liking the noise he made.

"Well she was almost there." I sighed grabbing Brix, laying him next to Hev, "Halo you can't handle both of them like us. And don't take them both out the crib. Wait until me and your daddy gets them out."

"Fine, can you put on some clothes? Nobody wants to see you naked." Halo said pointing to my naked chest.

I sighed pulling the sheets up to my chest, as Elijah walked in the room looking between us.

He let out a sigh, and ran a hand down his face.

"What I tell you about waking people up out they sleep just cause you up?" He asked Halo.

"I didn't even wake nobody up." She said throwing her hands up in the air.

"The twins crawled out of their crib." I spoke with sarcasm, placing their pacifiers in their mouth and rubbing their stomach watching them drift off to sleep.

"Get yo ass downstairs and eat breakfast so you can get ready for school." Elijah spoke as Halo mimicked him, and headed for the door.

Elijah popped her upside the head, and mugged her as she frowned and rubbed her head leaving the room. He walked over taking a seat on the bed, leaning over kissing my forehead.

"You okay?" I asked him, as he nodded.

"Still mad, I'll live though." He assured me as I stroked the side of his face.

"It'll be okay. Going to work today?" I asked noticing he was dressed.

"Yeah, you got them?" He asked looking at the twins.

"Of course. They can come help me at the store. I got a few things I gotta handle before the opening." I spoke looking at the time.

"When is that?" Elijah asked me.

"Few days." I admitted as he nodded his head.

"Mhm. I'll see you later, be good to my kids." He spoke kissing them both.

"They're mine too." I argued as he laughed as if that was a joke.

"They mine. I gotta go meet with my lawyer and see what he gon' do about these charges now. He was already filing for full custody but I think I fucked that up, hopefully we figure something out. Let's do lunch later." Elijah spoke grabbing my face. "I. Love. You." He spoke between kisses.

"I love you too." I replied watching him leave our room.

I had so much to do today, so I had to get ready now.

❤️❤️❤️

After handling stuff for the store, I took the twins to Alejandro so I could handle this one last thing. I didn't want them around in case things got physical.

I stared at Lolo's house for another moment, before getting out of the car. Hitting the locks, I walked up the walkway and rang her doorbell adjusting my engagement ring before looking at my watch for the time.

"I'm about to call the police Rhyan!" She yelled from the other side making me roll my eyes.

"Girl nobody's going to touch you. I need to talk to you!" I spoke growing annoyed.

Lolo weighted her options, before cracking the door and eyeing me. I stared at her in return, as she cracked the door open wider displaying her bruised face.

She was fucked up, but it could've been worse. At least she wasn't looking like Rihanna after Chris Brown whooped her ass.

I invited myself inside, and took in how nice it looked and smelled. Of course she had high end furniture in here, that looked even better than the furniture we had.

Hers was in different shapes and colors. I knew one of these chairs alone was $1200 because I ran across it when we were doing the nursery.

"Did he send you to apologize? Because I'm still pressing charges." She voiced folding her arms.

"No, he doesn't even know I'm here. Listen, we don't have time for this court shit. You're cutting into work, and the time we spend with our kids. We just want what's best for Halo, and frankly we're what's best for her at the moment." I said as Lolo looked at me in disbelief.

"How the hell you figure?" Lolo asked getting offended.

"I won't even go there with you today, cause there's a list of shit. The only reason I'm here is for Halo. Elijah is filing for full custody, so I just came over to tell you to make it easier on yourself and sign over your rights." I spoke with a shrug.

"I'm convinced this nigga has been knocking your little ass around, or you're just retarded because I'm not signing over shit." She spoke with attitude.

"You either sign your rights over, or go to jail for child endangerment being that you were drinking while you were pregnant and YOU'RE the reason Halo is deaf." I said watching her face soften, wondering how I knew what I knew.

In all honesty, it didn't matter how I knew what I knew. At the end of the day, my only concern was Halo and I felt she needed to be around people who actually cared about her wellbeing.

Since the beginning of this process, me and Elijah have been there for her and tried to make the right accommodations. Meanwhile Lo brushed it off as if it was nothing, and didn't care about how Halo felt.

And it wasn't just me or Elijah on the outside looking in. This was the words from our four year old, crying to us saying her mommy didn't care.

"Don't drag this to court. Cause you're just going to end up in jail, and Elijah is going to get full comes to get regardless. Even if you do drop the charges, the state will pick it up and he'll do a little time but that's something we can both live. Halo is what we want." I spoke as tears swarmed in Lolo's eyes.

"Y'all can't keep me away from my baby." She sniffed.

"I'm sure we won't. I'm only a step-mama remember?" I smirked at her.

Lolo rolled her eyes, and chewed her lip before pacing her floor.

"What I gotta do?" She asked me.

❤️❤️❤️

"You late Oompa Loompa." Elijah teased as I walked to the table.

"I know, things ran over with inventory. How's your day going baby?" I asked kissing his lips, before taking a seat.

"I don't know. My lawyer saying even if Lo drop the charges, the state might pick it up. I'm looking at six months to a year. That's too long to be separated from you and the kids. I can't leave all these businesses on you." Elijah sighed rubbing his head.

"We'll make due. Text your lawyer and ask him to ask the court on your behalf for thirty days in county, you pay Lo's medical expenses, and sixty days in anger management." I smiled as Elijah stared at me, while I looked over my menu, "I deserve a steak, I've been closing deals all day."

"Should've been a damn lawyer." Elijah mumbled doing as I told him to do.

"Ehh, never liked school. It was either start my own thing with fashion, join the family business, or become a scammer." I winked at him as he laughed.

Our waitress came over and took our orders. Handing the menus over after we were done, she walked away going to get us drinks and rolls.

Elijah grabbed Brix out his car seat, while I left Hev in hers because she was sleep. I stared at the two in a loving manner, as Elijah planned Brix's whole life making Brix laugh.

"You miss me while I was gone?" I asked curiously.

Elijah glanced at me, and looked down at Brix messing with his hair. I tried to lay the shit down, but it curled right up on the top of his head.

"I always miss you when you gone, even when I'm mad." He spoke making me smile a little.

"Well I missed you and the kids. It's hard sleeping without you." I admitted as he looked up at me, while Brix tried to bite him with his toothless ass.

"Imagine how I felt. I honestly was hurt, cried a lil bit, tried to convince myself it was over, prayed about it, just couldn't let go. I hate how much I love you sometimes. I know our shit won't be perfect, but when we keep doing the same shit over and over again something gotta give." Elijah tried to reason.

"I know. And I'm sorry for my actions lately. I'm still trying to get out of this selfish mentality. I need to be considerate of your feelings as well, because you don't deserve to be with somebody who sneaks behind your back and does things or lies. Nor do you deserve to be hit, or have somebody that does childish things to get your attention." I spoke sincerely, "I'm so sorry. I don't want to make you feel like less of a man, or give you hell. I'm supposed to be your peace. I've even been thinking we should try counseling, if you're willing."Elijah just starred at me, before grabbing my hand placing a kiss on it.

"I'm trying to have faith in you, because you had faith in me. You gotta do better moving forward, aight?" He spoke as I nodded.

"No more drinking, fighting, and tattoos of other people's name." I giggled as he shook his head.

"I love you fat girl." He smirked.

"I love you too." I smiled at him.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

"Thank you for coming out." I smiled giving someone a hug.

Today was the grand opening of my store. I thought this day would be exciting for me, but inside I wasn't happy.

It was probably because Elijah wasn't here.

"Rhyan this is so nice." Brae spoke looking around, sipping on wine, "I'm bout to rack up on some lingerie too honey. You know me and Adonis trying for another baby and even though I won't have it in long, I'll look really nice in it."

I giggled at her, and shook my head. The girl was still as crazy as the day I met her.

"Well thank you. You guys okay?" I asked Brae, Santana, Benji, and O'Neil.

As usual, Alejandro was missing in action. He, and Elijah were the only ones missing.Adonis was taking pictures for the grand opening.

"Girl we fine. Stop worrying yourself. Where's Eli?" O'Neil questioned.

I shrugged, trying not to let my emotions show. Disappointment wa burning me up inside, because I wanted his support although I went about things the wrong way.

"Rhy," Benji spoke holding Santana by the waist who couldn't stop smiling for no damn reason, "You plan on doing something for men?"

"Ooh that would be dope. Make your own line of briefs and boxers, for well hung men." O'Neil spoke wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yes, cause some people need it." Santana spoke before sipping her wine with a smile as Benji playfully bit her neck.

"They're so cute." Brae whispered as I shook my head.

"Thanks you guys, now my head is rolling with ideas." I spoke as the bell to the store chimed.

Looking towards the door, I saw Elijah walk in looking around for me. When his eyes landed on me, he smiled big making my heart skip a beat.

He had a big bouquet of pink roses, and balloons. I was almost in tears.

I walked over trying to hold myself together, while taking in his appearance. A maroon short sleeve button down hugged his torso, that he paired with peanut butter pants that were slightly sagging, and a pair of maroon Nike Air Force One duck boots.

He wore his hold chains and bracelet, looking simple but overall fine. I could tell he had a fresh haircut, and that just made my mouth water.

"I thought you weren't coming." I pouted standing in front of him, as his eyes roamed my frame.

I wore a black Sass and Bibe bin harness, with leather Dolce and Gabanna leggings, and a pair of black and gold Saint Laurent heels. My gold Tiffany's bracelets Elijah got me for my birthday rested on my wrist, matching my gold hoop earrings that was hiding underneath my straightened hair.

"You know better than that." Elijah said kissing his teeth, pulling me close and kissing my head making me smile uncontrollably as Adonis snapped a picture of us.

I took the roses and balloons from his hand, and smiled uncontrollably while grabbing the card. Flipping the card open, I looked at Elijah who was looking down at me.

When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit in the dark with you. Congrats baby.

- Daddy

"Awwww, thank you baby." I coped giving him a hug.

"You welcome bumblebee." He teases squeezing my butt while I frowned.

"You just had to fuck up the moment." I kissed my teeth, as Coco walked over and grabbed my flowers and balloons from me.

The rest of the night was a success. We stayed until everyone left, and the cleaning people cleaned before leaving as well.

I hit the lights, as Elijah sat in one of the chairs on his phone waiting on me so we could go home. Mila had all the kids, and I was hoping they hadn't tied her up and beat her ass.

"Come on baby." I spoke walking towards the door.

Elijah followed, and we both stepped outside on the sidewalk. Locking up, I turned around looking for our car.

I rode with Adonis and Brae.

There was a black panaramic two door Porsche, with a big red bow on it. I looked over at Elijah, as held up the keys for me.

"You're gonna make me cry." I spoke fanning my eyes.

"Start crying and I'm taking the car back." He warned me, causing me to straighten up.

"I was just playing, thank you baby." I smiled kissing his lips, while taking the keys from him.

"You welcome. Why you ain't wear a skirt? We could've made this an exciting ride home." Elijah teased as we walked to the car.

"Elijah get in the car." I laughed waving him off.

"Fine man, but its lit when we get home." He warned me.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

|S A N T A N A|

I smiled big as I looked around my bedroom. It was so big and pretty, and the thing I loved the most was I got a new balcony and it was bigger.

In a sense, my home reminded me a lot of Sheree from Real House Wives of Atlanta.

"You gon' stand up here all day?" Benji asked coming through the door.

"I'm just taking in our room. I can't wait to break in this new bed." I smiled standing on the bed doing a little twerk.

"You keep saying you don't want a baby right now, but you reaching." He warned, as I blushed stepping down off the bed.

"I'll keep that in mind. You get the boys beds set up?" I asked wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Levi got hungry." Benji spoke rolling his eyes, "Can you whip us up something quick?"

"Sure." I spoke pecking his lips, stepping around him slowly while looking him up and down.

"See what I'm talking about." He spoke slapping me on the butt.

The house phone rang, and we both began running towards the stairs. We laughed trying to push each other out the way, to get to the house phone.

When we reached the bottom stair, Benji threw me over his shoulder and ran with me making me laugh uncontrollably. I don't know why this was so funny, but it was.

Benji grabbed the phone, and put me on my feet handing it to me. I looked at the caller I.D seeing Zai was calling, so I answered.

"I'ma go finish unpacking some of these boxes." He spoke kissing my forehead, while I nodded listening to the automated system.

Accepting the call, I waited for Zai to come on the line.

"Wussup big head?" Zai teased as I smiled small.

"Hey, how are you?" I asked staring at my wedding ring.

"I'm good. Congrats." Zai spoke in a sincere tone.

"Thank you." I replied as Zayden came in the house moon walking to the pantry. "You better not! No zebra cakes until after you eat."

"But ma!" He whined poking out his lip, "Me and Chris is starving. We been moving stuff all day."

"Well you and Chris can wait until after lunch." I argued as he sighed, while Benji stopped down and said something that made him nod.

"Moving stuff? You redecorating?" Zaire asked me.

"No, we moved into our new home." I spoke feeling a bit bad. "I still have the house for you."

"Oh," Zai spoke lowly and cleared his throat, "How the boys been?"

"Good. Nasir's birthday is coming up, so I'm planning that and he's been hounding me about playing baseball. Zayden just wants to be fat and happy." I shrugged as he chuckled.

"Chris still around?" He asked.

"Unfortunately. I won't hold you up, I'll let you talk to Zayden first." I spoke with a smile, "Zay, your daddy is on the phone."

He quickly ran over to the phone, grinning from ear to ear. This boy loved Zaire so much.

"Hey best friend!" He cheered walking in the backyard, so he could be next to Nasir so they could both talk to Zaire.

"What do you think about doing the kitchen in a metallic navy blue or orange?" I asked Benji as he unpacked plates, while I prepared to fix us a light lunch.

"Orange. You don't see a lot of orange kitchens." He spoke as I smiled.

"I like the way you think." I winked at him, making him laugh.

"I'm having a clothes drive and giving food to the homeless this weekend at the church. Can you come?" Benji asked me.

"Of course I'll be there. Don't forget Nasir's birthday is next weekend." I reminded him, as his phone rang.

"I got it noted baby." He said staring at the screen, before answering, "Des is Facetiming me."

Kobi entered the kitchen, and let out a sigh taking a seat at the island. He looked exhausted, so I gave him a water.

"Preciate this sis. Yo kids know they will run somebody raggedy." He spoke as Zayden came back in the house, putting the phone on the charger.

"Umm Kobi, why you in here? You gotta help us, don't be lazy. If my fat self can move and Levi fat self can move, yo skinny tail can move too. Nobody's paying you to be lazy." Zayden ranted before walking outside.

"His lil smart mouth ass better be a doctor or something." Kobi mumbled while I giggled watching him leave.

I looked over at Benji, seeing the look of confusion on his face. Walking over I placed my chin on his shoulder, and saw that he wasn't on FaceTime alone.

Lina, Nolan, and Des were all sitting on the couch together staring at the camera. They all looked like something was wrong.

"Hey everybody." I smiled at the three.

They all spoke back, and I walked away not wanting to be in the business. While I cooked lunch, the four talked on FaceTime until Benji ended the call and took a seat at the island looking stressed.

"What's wrong boo?" I asked with a slight frown.

"Des wants to come stay with us. I'm just a little upset, that Lina's upset cause he wants to come back here. He's not happy there, and they've done everything that they can to try to make him feel home but it's not working. That's her only child, and that's a lot of responsibility." Benji tried to reason.

"You had him for a few months, and that went well." I reminded him.

"I know," Benji sighed, "I told them I would have to talk to you and the boys, it's our home."

"Who coming to stay? They can't sleep in my bed." Zayden complained as Kobi carried him in the house on his neck.

"We just moved in." Nasir added with annoyance.

"Desmond wants to come back." I told the two, watching their eyes light up.

"Oh, well Des can stay. I like Des." Zayden smiled.

"You like anybody that gives you food." Nasir responded as Zayden shot him a look.

"Well now you know why I don't like you." Zayden argued while Kobi and Levi laughed.

"Hey, cut it out. I'm not saying it no more today." Benji spoke as the kitchen went quiet, "Y'all argue like y'all grown."

"Yes sir." They both chimed, as I looked at him in disbelief.

"How'd you do that?" I asked him, because I couldn't get the two to stop arguing for nothing.

"I said what I said, and I meant what I said." Benji spoke as I stared at him feeling Niagra falls in the seat of my panties.

"Jesus it's a daddy." I mumbled under my breath, making him smirk.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

"You're married!" Dr. Johnson smiled at me, "Congrats."

"Thank you." I cooed showing him the ring.

"I'm just," He took a breath, "Wow. I don't know what to say. How's everything? How do you feel?"

"Good actually, really good." I smiled crossing my legs, "Just knowing that he genuinely loves me and the kids makes me happy. People had a lot to say about us getting married but, they can kiss my ass."

"Oooou," Dr. Johnson teased, "Who had a lot to say? Was it Zaire's family?"

"No, Benji's church members. They seem to be more concerned about our relationship, than the Bible scriptures.

Apparently I'm not fit to be the First Lady for the church." I explained as Dr. Johnson rubbed his chin.

"Why? I think you're pretty dope." Dr. Johnson shrugged.

"Well thank you. Apparently I can't wear my hair any color I want, and I can't have a normal life with my friends. They talked about my pictures on Instagram, saying I was showing too much skin. They want me to dress like a grandma, and be messy in the church like them but I think not. It doesn't matter what I wear, this ass ain't going no where. My husband likes it, and they can kick rocks if they don't like it." I huffed folding my arms.

"I say that's a W for you Santana, you on a roll today." Dr. Johnson chuckled writing something down, "What did Benji have to say?"

"He went off, in a Christian way." I clarified as Dr. Johnson laughed at me.

"To his church members?" He asked, while I nodded.

"I thought the same thing to too, BUT he said he wasn't going to allow anybody to disrespect me." I smiled as Dr. Johnson nodded.

"This man really loves you and worships the ground you walk on." He said staring at me, as I blushed.

"I feel the same way. I don't feel pressured to be something I'm not with him." I sighed with a smile, "Even the sex is amazing."

"Sex? You guys had sex?" He asked with his eyes about to fall out his head.

"Oh yes. I never came so much in my life." I admitted having flashbacks, which reminded me that we needed to break our bed in.

"That's a triple W for you." He laughed as a knock sounded at his door.

The door slowly came open, and my mom stepped inside with a small smile. She looked nice, her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail.

Since I was in such a good space, I decided to hear her out one last time.

She greeted the both of us, before taking a seat on the couch next to me. We started off with light conversation, which was mainly me talking about my new life.

Dr. Johnson was trying to make us all comfortable, before bringing up the past. I was just hoping she didn't piss me off this time.

So when he started to ask her questions about the incident with Larissa, I cringed a little bit. It seemed to upset my mom, because she started to cry a little.

"I know the last time we talked about this I said she lied, but that wasn't the truth. Honestly, I was still beating myself up for letting something like that happen to her. She was a child, and she had her innocence snatched away from her by someone that should have loved and protected her. Knowing that I didn't protect her, it really ate away at me and I've felt guilty about it for years." She admitted, as I exhaled.

Hearing that she blamed herself, made me feel something for her. I knew that feeling being a mother myself.

Nasir fell once, and had to get stitches above his eye. I never stopped blaming myself, because I wasn't outside to catch him when he fell.

But I realized, as a parent you can't be there all the time.

"I'm just glad you acknowledged it." I smiled giving her a hug.

We decided to do a few more sessions together, before trying to hang out. She wanted to see the kids, but it would be a while before we got there.

I didn't trust my kids with everybody, and trust takes time.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Me, and Nasir sat at Steak and Shake eating cheese fries, milk shakes and burgers. Well he had a burger, I just had cheese fries.

I picked him up from school, so we could get some alone time. Plus we needed to do some planning for his birthday.

"So do you want Spider man, or Superman for your birthday party?" I asked him as he sat with his mouth full.

"I want Spider man, but I want the black one." He spoke as I nodded and lifted an eyebrow.

"Why?" I asked, not really liking that one.

"He's cool." He shrugged while I decided to just let it go.

"I'm going to get your invitations done tonight, and you can give them out to your classmates tomorrow and your friends at the dojo." I informed him, as he nodded.

"Can I have a telescope for my birthday?" He asked me, "I like looking at the stars."

"I think I can work something out." I smiled at him, "So how do you like Benji living with us?"

"It's cool. He really cares about us." He smiled at me, while I nodded agreeing.

"Benji has y'all spoiled, that's why you said that." I spoke as he laughed agreeing.

"Is Des really going to come stay with us?" He asked curiously.

"Yeah, he should be here next week." I admitted staring at Nasir.

It was hard to believe my boy was about to be seven years old. Time was flying.

I still remember, when I became his mother after Nylah died. I'm sure if she was alive, she would be proud of him.

He was such a good kid, respectful, smart, and helpful.

"Mommy?" Nasir spoke snapping me from my thoughts.

"Yes?" I spoke wiping cheese off his mouth.

He stared at me for a moment, and let out a sigh. I watched him look at his hands, before looking at me.

"I don't want you to be mad at me but, I know you're not my real mom." He informed as my mouth grew dry all of a sudden.

I didn't know how to respond to that, or how to even take it.

"But, it's okay because even though we're not blood related you are my mom and I still love you. I was just curious and wanted to know where my real mom is and why she doesn't want me." He spoke with sadness, "I like living with you and being your son, but I just wanna know."

Tears had managed to creep into my eyes, while I sat trying to process this. Me and Zaire had so many talks about how one day we would tell Nasir about this, but now that the day was here I was at a loss for words.

Dabbing at my eyes with a napkin, I rubbed my lips together and tried to find the words. It was hard trying to talk to a child about these kind of things.

"It's not that your mommy doesn't want you, she just took a trip to heaven. She's watching over you." I assured him as he nodded in an understanding way.

"Well how did she end up there? Was she in an accident?" He asked while I shrugged, wanting to leave this part for Zaire.

He could tell him what he wanted, but I didn't want any parts.

Regardless of the situation this was still my son, and it's been that way since the beginning. It would remain that way until the end.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

|B R A E L Y N N|

"Don't cut too much off the top Benji, Adonis is already going to have a fit I'm cutting it but his hair is too long. He can't see." I spoke as Benji used scissors to cut Aj's hair as I held him.

"It's hair, it'll grow back. I been trying to convince Zay to let me cut that mess off the top of his head, talking about he want dreads." Benji smacked his lips while I giggled.

"That's your step-son." I reminded him as he sighed.

"Boy do I know it. He reminds me every time he wants something, and says he's my FAVORITE step-son. I honestly don't know what we gonna do with him. He call hisself trying to help me plan my sermon for church on Sunday, told me I need to put in there people need to stop fake falling out at church." Benji went on to tell me, while I shook my head.

People could say what they wanted about my little Zay Bae, but he was always speaking the truth.

After Benji finished up, I paid him and me and AJ headed to Adonis' office even though he had a shoot today at the aquarium. I was going to meet with the production team, so I could set a clear direction for the way I wanted his documentary done.

When we got there, I noticed everyone sitting in the meeting room waiting for and AJ. He was too focused on sucking his bottle, getting ready to fall asleep.

He and Adonis had been up playing since the wee hours of morning, making me want to choke the hell out of both of them. Making all that damn noise as if I don't need my beauty rest.

"Hi everybody." I smiled at everyone, as they greeted me in return.

I sat Aj's car seat in a empty chair, and began to walk around the room shaking everyone's hand as well as noting their names. The person in charge of the documentary was Ellis, but it was nice to get to know the other ones as well.

Taking a seat, I adjusted my shirt and folded my hands. I was ready for business.

"So tell me, what do you guys have planned so far?" I asked curiously.

"Well for starters, I wanna make this film feel relate-able. I want the audience to feel like they know him, and can relate to some parts of him. So I wanna document every unscripted moment. I'll play around with clips, and decide which one is best to use. Nothing will be scripted, I want people to say hey that really happened versus that was so scripted. Don't you guys feel that way when you watch what is supposed to be reality television?" Ellis asked everyone who began to mumble things.

"I love it. What stories do you guys want to touch on?" I asked as he slid over a paper with an outline of the stories.

"I was thinking we can start with the child hood, that is what normally molds a person. Then we can skip to the teen years which is when a person goes through changes. And then we'll make our way to his adult years. We wanna hear how he made it this far, the road blocks, set backs, people who influenced him." Ellis continued on, while I nodded.

I liked his drive. Ellis was really on his shit.

"Let's talk about the people we'll be interviewing. So far I have you, his mom, grandmother, and brothers. Speaking of brothers, we are trying to get permission from the warden to let us come in and film instead of having to go through all the audio tape. I'll keep you guys posted on that." Ellis spoke writing something down.

"I want his secretary Charity interviewed because she's been with him for a while, and there's about two people in the industry we can get to speak for him." I spoke watching Ellis jot down notes.

"What do you guys think of stunt doubles to act out the scenes of the stories he tells?" Reynaldo, one of the team members asked.

"Ehh, no offense but I think that's corny. Imagination is key, so let the audience have their own visual. It'll keep them intrigued." I spoke as Ellis agreed.

"I like you, ever thought of being in film?" He asked with a smile, while I shook my head no.

"Anything that has my husband's name on the line, just has to be perfect. I'm a mother and a wife, so I handle these type of things." I smiled as he nodded.

For another thirty minutes, we sat discussing other things. Backdrops for confessionals, makeup, hair, lighting, areas where we would shoot, etc.

I was so excited for all of this, like it was my documentary. Now I had to go home and find all of me and Adonis' pictures from over the years, along with home videos.

Then I would link up with Ava, and grandma Alice for childhood photos. This was going to be amazing.

❤️❤️❤️

I stood at the island preparing lunch for Amaris, while she sat in the living room with Doctor Johnson. The two were sitting on the floor, trying to put a puzzle together which was something she liked to do with Adonis or sometimes on her own.

Adonis came home early for work for this, and he was sitting at the bar with AJ watch the two. I could tell by the look on his face, he wasn't too happy our baby girl had to see a therapist.

"Is chicken pesto panini okay baby?" I asked Adonis, catching his attention for a moment.

"That's fine. What's for dinner?" He asked as I tilted my head.

Here we are talking lunch, and he wants to talk dinner too.

"Me." I smirked as he eyed me, and cracked a smile.

"That's dessert." He spoke as AJ sneezed, "Bless you man."

"Does he feel a little warm to you?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah. I think he getting a cold. We should check his temp." He spoke as AJ rubbed his nose, and laid his head on Adonis' chest.

It was so cute, although he looked miserable.

"His thermometer is in his back, but you have to stick it up his butt." I reminded him as Adonis looked at me as if I lost my mind.

"Hell the fuck no! What kind of shit is that?" He asked in disbelief. "Trying to take my son manhood away from him. Yo mama don' lost her rabbit ass mind."

"Adonis, that's the most accurate way to get the right temp. It only goes in an inch." I reasoned as he shook his head.

"We'll get you some Tylenol. You better fight this shit AJ, cause I'm not fucking with no rectal thermometer." Adonis scolded him as he sneezed and coughed.

"It's your fault. You wanna have the air on blizzard at night." I reminded him.

"Girl its hot as hell outside, it needs to be cold in here." He responded as AJ whined and pulled on his shirt, "I know son son."

"So tell me about school Genesis." Dr. Johnson spoke catching me and Adonis' attention.

"It was good. I go to school from home now, with Zayden and Halo. Those are my cousins." She spoke with a smile.

"Sounds like fun. I went to school from home as well, do you like it?" Dr. Johnson asked her.

"Yeah. I don't have to be around mean kids." Genesis spoke as I pouted a little.

"Yeah, mean kids are bad. I had a mean kid push me down one day." Dr. Johnson spoke as Genesis looked up at him.

"Well did you push him back? You too big to be getting pushed around." She spoke as Adonis tried not to laugh, while I frowned at him.

"Should I have pushed him back?" He asked her.

"Yeah. My daddy said if somebody hit you, you hit them back." Amaris shrugged looking for puzzles pieces to match.

Dr. Johnson looked over at Adonis, who began to whistle and look around the room.

"Well I didn't push him back, but it made me angry. Do you get angry?" Dr. Johnson asked her.

"Sometimes. I got angry at Zayden one day because he was teasing me, and I hit him in the face and started to punch him in the head. I didn't mean to do it though, I know I hurt his feelings." She said sadly studying a puzzle piece.

"I think he knows you didn't mean it. When I get mad sometimes, I do stuff and I forget and it makes me feel bad when I realize what I did." Dr. Johnson spoke as Amaris perked up.

"Me too! I just see red colors, and when I calm down I start to cry because I did a bad thing. It's scary Mr. Johnson." She spoke, "And sometimes, sometimes I think people are talking about me but they're not but I think they are so I get angry and wanna hit them."

"Oh fuck." Adonis spoke rubbing his eyes, leaving the room.

I quickly cleaned my hands, and followed behind him.

"Baby," I spoke as he walked outside.

The Florida sun beamed down on us, as he stood trying to control his emotions.

"It's my fault, I didn't mean to mess our baby up like that Brae." He spoke in a sympathetic tone.

"It's not your fault baby. She's going to be fine. You're fine, everything is going to be okay. Please come back inside." I begged pecking his lips.

"How you gonna deal with two of us?" He asked as I held his hand.

"I'm built for this." I assured him pulling him back inside.

We walked back to the kitchen, and I washed my hands while Adonis reclaimed his seat. For another hour we listened to Dr. Johnson and Amaris talk.

She talked about us a lot, and how she loved us and AJ. It was honestly cute.

"Well?" Adonis spoke as we stood at the door with Dr. Johnson.

We'd just had lunch, and now he was leaving to prepare for another session.

"She definitely has a paranoid personality disorder." Dr. Johnson spoke as Adonis sighed.

"What do you think of meds? We don't want anything that's going to make her turn into a zombie." I said rubbing Adonis' arm.

"I'll give her a low dosage, but she'll be fine. She's a very bright young lady, and she's very passionate for such a young age. My concern is when she gets older. People may take advantage of how nice she is, and when she catches on she may flip like she does from time to time. We're going to keep a close eye on her. She'll be fine." Dr. Johnson assured us before walking out the door.

Amaris came into the foyer, biting into her sandwich.

"Did you enjoy yourself with Mr. Johnson baby?" I asked trying not to cry.

"Yeah. We have a lot in common mommy." She smiled as I gave a faint one and looked at Adonis.

He had his head thrown back, trying not to let tears fall.

"Daddy, can you build me a treehouse?" Amaris asked Adonis.

"You can have whatever you want baby." He spoke with his voice cracking, and he cleared his throat.

"Yay! I gotta tell Halo." Amaris danced running off to the living room.

I'd never forget this day. Ever.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

"Man, we haven't been to Shoreline in a minute." Darius spoke in the passenger seat.

Today I was taking Amaris, Halo, Zayden, and Nasir to the beach. AJ was with grandma Alice, and Rhyan had the twins.

"I know. I been craving one of these salads for the longest." I spoke as Darius gave me a side eye.

"You pregnant again?" He asked me.

"Trying to be. Which reminds me, can you watch the kids tonight?" I asked him, as he shook his head.

"Nope, going out tonight." He spoke as I frowned.

"What kind of uncle are you?" I asked pulling up to the store that had a deli.

"One without kids." He smiled as I flicked him off and parked the car.

"I'll go get the food. I don't wanna take all these kids in here, some of them have sticky fingers." I spoke eyeing Halo through the mirror.

"Auntie Brae, I don't steal anymore." Halo spoke as Darius chuckled.

"Well who stole my ten dollars when I was over yo house?" Zayden asked side eyeing her.

"Blanket Jr., cause Promise doesn't steal." Halo shrugged as Zayden flicked her nose and she slapped him.

"Well shit. She definitely belongs to Eli." Darius laughed.

"Keep your hands to yourself, both of you." I warned the two.

"You better get your niece auntie Brae, I'm not the one." Zayden warned folding his arms.

I looked at Genesis, who rested her head on Nasir's arm, watching him play Candy Crush. She had been quiet all day, since I gave her the medicine Dr. Johnson sent to the pharmacy and I got it filled last night.

"You okay Amaris?" I asked as she looked at me and smiled.

"Yes mommy, are you okay? You need a hug?" She asked me.

"She's daughter goals bro. She so sweet." Darius fake cried as I slapped him upside the head.

"Keep your hands to yourself Aunt Brae." Halo and Zayden said at the same time, before laughing.

"Keep on Ren and Stimpy, and y'all gon' be starving." I smiled at the two.

"Halo, stop. I gotta stay fat and happy, I can't afford to miss a meal." Zayden tried to whisper.

"She can't do that. We can call dcf, like grandma did on that girl cross the street." Halo spoke as my mouth fell open.

"The stripper?" Zayden asked as I looked at Darius who was sitting there with his mouth open.

"Yeah. Grandma say she wasn't feeding her kids." Halo shrugged.

I quickly got out the car, cause them kids was too damn much.

Walking inside the store, I went to the back where the deli was and stood in line. I waited patiently, until it always my turn and ordered sandwiches along with salads for me and Darius.

While I waited on my food to be made, I grabbed some chips, drinks, and other snacks for the kids. By the time I was done the food was made, and I took it up front so I could pay.

As soon as I sat the food down, someone stood behind me and spoke. "Put it on my tab."

Turning around, I noticed it was Navadius and quickly cursed under my breath. He looked me up and down like I was some type of snack, making my skin crawl as I clutched my purse.

"You look like you seem a ghost, you don't miss me?" He asked with a smile.

"Do yourself a favor, and leave me alone." I warned him.

"What you mean? I was just in the neighborhood getting a sandwich and-"

"You're a damn lie! Just like you lied about me on that song." I spoke as he stared at me.

"You know it's the truth." He spoke lowly.

"No, it's a lie. You wasn't all that." I spoke watching his light brown orbs grow dark before they flickered back to being light.

"You just talking. Let's go somewhere and talk for old times sake." He spoke grabbing my hand, that I quickly snatched away from him.

I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist too tight for my liking. That resulted in me pulling out my mace, and maxing him watching him scream.

I wasted no time running out the store, saying fuck that food in the process.

Adonis was going to kill this man.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Instead of going to the beach, I came back home and made the kids some food and let them run around the backyard. Adonis had a small playground out back now, and the kids seemed to love that.

I was going to talk to him about Navadius when he got home, because I didn't want him getting upset.

Kensie had been on my mind lately, and I hadn't heard anything from her since the funeral so I decided to call her up. Just to check on her.

When I was greeted by a message system saying her phone had been disconnected, I drowned in confusion. I know she can afford a damn phone bill.

Attempting to call again, I was greeted by the same thing causing me to bite my lip. This crazy idea popped up in my head, that I should go check on her.

And I wouldn't be Brae if I didn't follow my crazy mind.

When I got there, I noticed her car out front before I went inside the building and made my way to her floor. Once I got to her floor, I followed the numbers on her door, until I stood in front of hers.

I frowned at the stench in the air, wondering what the fuck that scent was. Knocking on the door harder than I intended, I covered my nose and looked around.

There was no answer at first, so I knocked again as my phone vibrated causing me to see a text from Rhyan.

Rhyan 💚: Loho signed her rights over we got our baby girl !!!!!!!!!!!

I smiled, as the  locks unraveled and Kensie opened the door. That foul smell I was smelling, flew out the door damn near knocking me over.

Kensie stood in front of me, looking a mess. She wore an old shirt that was falling off her body, she looked as if she hadn't been eating, and her hair was all over the place.

Bags were underneath her eyes, and skin was dry.

"Kensie, I came to check on you. You okay?" I asked her, as she shrugged and offered for me to come inside.

Stepping inside the apartment, I noticed food boxes on the table, cover on the couch as if that's here she had been sleeping. Liquor bottles on the floor, along with used tissues.

I stepped into her kitchen, and damn near threw up at the sight. The garbage was running over, and maggots were starting to form.

This girl really lost her shit.

Somehow I managed to clean her house, and even give her stinky ass a bath. I combed her hair and made her look like somebody, dressed her, and packed her a bag before taking her home with me.

I knew Adonis was going to pitch a bitch, but this girl needed some help like I told him from the beginning.

❤️❤️❤️

Adonis called and told me he was coming home late, so after I got Kensie and the kids settled I put everybody to bed and gave myself some attention. After a nice bath, I dressed in panties, bra and a robe and sat in the living room sipping wine thinking of the crazy day I had.

The alarm beeped notifying me Adonis was coming through the door. I could hear one of the dogs bark, making me giggle.

Instead of being greeted by a tired face or a smile, Adonis greeted me with a frown flicking the lights on.

"Being your ass here." He spoke gesturing for me to follow him.

"Excuse me?" I spoke eyeing him.

"I'm not in the mood, bring ya ass." He warned making me sigh.

We made our way to his office, where he sat at the computer and did some typing and clicking. I was still nursing my wine, getting a little sleepy as I stood across the room.

"Come look at this shit." He spoke.

I walked over to the computer, and saw pictures of my nude self sent to Adonis' email. Not just me, me with Navadius.

"Ugh!" I screamed throwing the glass across the room, resulting in it shattering.

"You said-"

"Adonis that's all I remember happening that night. I was drunk." I spoke covering my face as tears welled up in my eyes, "He's such a spiteful bitch."

After pacing the floor for a moment, I began to tell Adonis what happened earlier today with Navadius at the store. He grew pissed, and sat with a clenched jaw.

Before he could say anything, there was slight knock at his office door.

"Can I have some water please?" Kensie mumbled trying not to make eye contact with us.

"What the hell is this shit?!" He asked as I told him to calm down, and went to get Kensie some water.

After I have her water, I sent her back to bed. When I returned to the office, Adonis was gone causing me to sigh.

I cleaned the glass up, before heading upstairs to our bedroom, where he was taking off his clothes.

"Have you lost your mind? Bringing that damn girl up in here?" He asked me taking off his shirt, sitting on the bed.

"I told you she needed help! I went to her place to check on her, and it was a damn mess. She had liquor bottles, food boxes, and tissues everywhere. Not to mention garbage running over and maggots!" I tried to reason with him.

"Well you could've dropped her ass off at a psych ward! She not in the right state of mind to be around these damn kids man!" He yelled hopping up off the bed heading for the bathroom, "Fuck!" He yelled slamming the bathroom door making me jump.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

|A D O N I S|

"Say what now?" I asked biting on my bottom lip, as I slammed into Brae delivering a smack to her ass making her gasp.

"I'ma listen babe! I swear." She yelled reaching behind her, trying to push me away only for me to grab her wrist and pin it down on her back.

"Why you gon' listen?" I asked slowing down my strokes, sliding in and out of her at a slow pace sending chills down her spine.

"Adonis!" Brae whimpered as I release her wrist and grabbed her hair.

"Why you gon' listen?" I mumbled licking her ear.

"Oooh cause you the man." She moaned as her legs shook violently making me smile before she came.

Brae fell on her stomach, biting her lip as she clutched the sheets. I trailed kisses down her back, then flipped her over trailing kisses down to her lower lips.

Pecking her lower lips that was wet, I flicked my tongue on her clit making it jump because it was still sensitive.

My mouth latched to her lower lips, sucking them gently before I slid my tongue between her wet folds and began to explore. I held her thighs in both hands, lifting her up until she was standing on her head.

Her legs now rested in the crook of my arms, as I licked and sucked on her lower lips and clit listening to her cries. Five minutes passed before Brae pushed on my stomach telling me she couldn't take standing on her head any longer, so I laid her on her back still devouring her pussy, while pushing her legs back by her head and holding on to her ankles tightly.

I could hear the small breaths leaving her mouth, as I flicked my tongue back and forth in fast pace as she grew closer to her peak. Biting her clit gently before taking it into my mouth sucking on it, Brae moaned loudly and began to squirt.

Smiling in satisfaction, I cleaned her up with my tongue before releasing her ankles and falling on my back. Brae sat up and climbed on top of me, leaning down sucking on my lips as I palmed her ass gently.

"I love you." Brae cooed in a whisper against my lips, staring in my eyes with her hair all over her head.

"I love you too." I replied licking her lips, as she smiled at me.

Taking one hand grabbing my manhood, I ran it up and down her slit as she shut her eyes and pushed herself down on it. Brae slid down inch by inch, giving me lustful eyes and squeezing her muscles around it resulting in me shutting my eyes letting out a groan.

Once Brae took me in all the way, she began to move back and forth as we laid body to body. Our lips latched to each other's resulting in kisses, with Brae moaning in my mouth every so often or trying to catch her breath.

I thrusted up inside her, as she broke the kiss and placed her face in the crook of my neck whining. The strokes were slow, driving her crazy.

"How that feel?" I whispered, as she faced me with tears in her eyes and her lip quivering unable to find the words.

Brae sat up, and began to glide up and down on me slowly which soon turned to a fast pace. Her breasts jiggled as she bounced, and she sucked my two fingers I slid in her mouth while I groped her breast.

I ended up groping it so hard, some of her breast milk slid down my hand and arm as she came we both came close our peak.

"Ah fuck." I moaned as she locked her walls around me with a devious smirk until we both came.

Brae sat still for a moment, trying to catch her breath. I watched her roll off me, and slowly get out of bed trying not to fall.

She went to the bathroom, and came back with a warm rag wiping us both up. After she took the rag back to the bathroom, she climbed back in bed under the sheets with me and laid her head on my chest.

I played in her hair, as we both listened to the quietness in the house. It was six in the morning on a Saturday, and Brae woke me up trying to talk about this situation with Kensie which led to an argument, and led us to where we are right now.

"I honestly was just trying to help. She's fallen into post-partum depression." Brae tried to reason rubbing my stomach.

I let out a sigh, and used my left hand to run my temples. This shit was giving me a headache, and had me paranoid to the point where I couldn't sleep.

I'd just managed to fall sleep, when Brae woke me up.

"Baby, I understand that's a bad state for a woman to be in and it's also unhealthy. You don't know what could be on her mind, she could kill me and you and run off with our babies. You and the kids are my priority, and I gotta protect y'all. I don't think it's safe having her in the house, so she gotta go. We'll get her some help, but she can't stay here." I reasoned with Brae.

"Okay." She whispered snuggling close to me.

"I love you." I mumbled as she looked up at me and smiled showing her dimples.

"I love you too." She spoke before pecking my lips and closing her eyes.

❤️❤️❤️

We all sat at the table, enjoying the breakfast Brae made for us. It was quiet, with the exception of forks and spoons making contact with the plate.

Kensie sat in front of her plate, pushing French toast around in syrup. Her fist rested against the side of her face, as she sat there moping.

Brae stared at her with a look of sympathy, before shutting her eyes to keep from crying. It wasn't long before AJ began to cry through the baby monitor.

"I'll get him." Brae spoke quickly hopping up, "Amaris come help mommy."

"But I'm not finished." She mumbled with her mouth full.

"What did I say?" Brae asked tilting her head to the side.

Queen got up, and followed Brae. I waited until the two were upstairs, before speaking to Kensie.

Seeing her in the house last night, made my stomach knot up. Something about this wasn't right, and I was going to fix whatever it was before it turned into a problem.

"How long you been messed up like this Kensie?" I asked curiously, causing her to look up at me slowly with sad brown eyes.

Her black hair was done in two French braids, and she wore a pair of silk pajamas Brae gave her. It was actually a wedding gift from my mama, but Brae ungrateful ass didn't like it.

It wouldn't have killed her to wear the shit one time.

"I-I don't know." She mumbled and looked down at her hands, "I thought I was okay. I thought after we buried her I was okay, then one day I couldn't get out of bed and I just didn't care about anything anymore."

I bit my lip, knowing the feeling. After Addison passed it hit me hard, and if I didn't have Brae and the kids I wouldn't know what to do.

But Kensie didn't have anybody. Her mama and her friend Janelle was ignorant as hell, and Ashanti had her own stuff to tend to.

She was all by herself, and I felt bad a little bit. I felt as because she was the mother to my daughter, and I felt like I didn't support her enough.

But the only thing keeping me bonded to her was Addison, and she's gone now.

"I know how you feel Kensie, and I know it's easier said than done but you gotta move on." I tried to reason.

"Yeah, it is easier said than done. You have other kids, at least you have them to fall back on." Kensie shrugged, with jealousy in her eyes.

"You'll get your happily ever after soon K. I love you as the mother of my daughter and I wanna see you happy, but if you keeping moping you never will." I spoke touching her shoulder as she sniffed.

It was quiet, as I allowed her to cry.

"I found a doctor for you, and they house women with post partum depression. Don't think I'm kicking you out, I just think it's best you let us go. Only if you need us, just call." I spoke giving her a solid hug.

"Promise?" She asked me

"Promise." I lied to her.

There was no point in holding on.

Kensie let me go, and nodded her head while wiping her tears. Her phone rang, and she stared at it for a moment before looking at me.

"I'm going to take this, and get ready." She spoke slowly getting up.

I watched her walk out the kitchen, and let out a sigh rubbing my stomach. Queen ran in the kitchen, hopping back in her seat grabbing her fork eating her food making me laugh.

I saw Eli's face flash on the Tv, that was on the news causing me to turn it up. Eli called and informed me about the incident with Lolo, I just didn't know he would be on the news for this shit.

Niggas beat they baby mama ass everyday B.

Not only was Mr. Savage arrested on a variety of charges, but another one of his businesses has managed to get shit down temporarily. Angela Odom happened to catch Mayor Pierce outside of the closing of Mr. Savage's business.

A video of Mayor Pierce popped up, making my upper lip curl. This bitch really had no life, and after I was done with Navadius ass he was next.

"I'm just concerned about the things taking place in our community. Especially in places where we have a lot of tourists and civilians walking. These streets are made to be safe. But you have criminals like Mr. Savage who bring this type of foolishness and plays victim when police get involved. These type of things aren't coincidental." Mayor Pierce, "There's no telling what him and his brother are up to behind this legit front."

The video went back to the original news anchor.

"You may remember Adonis Savage, who is now known as a legendary photographer. He was charged with capital murder almost five years ago, with his older brother Zaire Savage. Adonis was acquitted of the murder charge, and is now a legendary photographer that was listed on Forbes. We will keep you updated on this story." She spoke flashing a smile with that ugly ass fuscia lipstick.

Brae walked into the kitchen, handing AJ over to me. He rubbed his nose, and looked at me with eyes that read he was miserable.

"What was that on the news?" Brae questioned me.

"Lies." I replied kissing my son on the head.

❤️❤️❤️

"Eli, fuck is you doing?" I asked as he walked into the foyer, eating a sandwich.

"I'm eating a sandwich ho. You don't drag a man out of bed in the wee hours of morning, without eating." He fussed before biting into the sandwich, "This ho got pepper jack cheese, shit lit. You want some bih?"

I smacked my lips, and cut my eyes peeking out the sheer curtain. If Navadius thought I was gon' let that shit he did slide, he had me fucked up.

The only person who was going to have nudes of my wife was me, and that was for my eyes only on some J. Cole shit.

Me, and Eli were currently waiting on him to get home from the club. This nigga went to the club more than anybody I knew.

"You seen that shit with the mayor?" Eli asked me.

"Mhmm, I say we send this evidence to the police and let Abel people break his neck in general population." I suggested as lights flashed on the window.

"Sound good to me." Eli spoke finishing his sandwich, before picking up his metal bat.

We already scoped the house for cameras, and different view angles to make sure the neighbors wouldn't notice us. The plan was indeed to kill him, but we would dispose of the body and let his people assume he went missing,

"Damn I need some juice." Eli mumbled as Navadius walked up the pathway.

I rolled my eyes at his ghetto ass, I stood on the other side of the door across from him. Navadius whistled, while playing with his keys before inserting one into the lock.

Twisting the lock, he pushed the door open and walked inside stepping on the tarp. His face frowned up in confusion, before his eyes grew wide and he realized what was going on.

"Batter up!" I spoke before swinging the bat to the mid-section of his stomach.

Navadius doubled over, and fell face first while Eli kicked the door close. I lifted the bat, and swung it again making instant contact with the back of his legs where his knee was hearing the instant cracking noise.

"You thought you was gon' fuck my wife, taunt me, and not see me?" I asked between swinging the bat, as Navadius cried like the lil bitch that he is.

"Please man." He managed to beg, as Eli pushed me away while laughing.

"Enough. Let big bro help you out." Eli grinned pulling out a pocket knife, eyeing it admiration, "When niggas talk too much shit, you cut they tongue out."

Navadius began to scream, as Eli turned him over and forced his mouth open. I watched as he cut his tongue out, and grinned behind his ski mask.

Standing to his feet, while Navadius flopped like a fish out of water Eli held up his tongue.

"Ask Brae do she still want her ass ate like a cupcake?" Eli snickered while I smacked my lips.

[the-wicked-beasts-that-roam-blog]

Chapter 2

Steam floated from the ceramic coffee mug in Jade’s hands. Hard rain droplets pelted the windows and the roof, the wind gusts picking up.

“Raining again,” Jason noted with a yawn.

Jade shifted in the wooden chair at the round kitchen table. “Steady for a week now.”

Something felt off. The thick and suffocating air, the heavy silence, even her own heartbeat. The strange feeling in her gut wouldn’t go away, the night sweats and panic reoccurring on a nightly basis. Maybe her nerves were shot from settling into the house. She had that unshakable feeling of impending doom. The weight of it lingered over her, made her heart pound harder than it should. She bit her lip, nervously twisting it between her teeth.

She hated that feeling. Bad things happened when she got that feeling.

Dragging her fingers through her unruly curly hair, she eyed the water droplets running down the window pane. Hell, maybe it was her. Did Marcy’s cat and mouse game finally wreak havoc on her sanity, and now her anxieties had blossomed into pure paranoia?

Yep, the few marbles she had left were finally rolling away.

Jason opened the fridge, scratching his pale and lean chest. “Dom’s gonna be pissed that I ate all his Oreos,” he mumbled and pulled the gallon of milk out.

Who was he again? And what did he have that would stop Marcy from eating out her heart?

A few second later, he plopped a cup of milk and a fresh pack of Oreos on the counter in front of Jade. Dropping in the chair across from her, he tore into the cookies.

“Who’s Dom?”

He looked up, licking his fingers. “My asshole cousin.”

“The owner I’m guessing?”

He nodded.

“So, what kind of work does he do?” She glanced around at the black countertops, stainless steel appliances, and cherry wood cabinetry. The man obviously ran a business or something.

“He, uh . . . does odd jobs here and there.”

“He do roofs for a living?” She cocked a brow.

“Don’t be like that with me. You don’t need to know what he does. All you need to know is that he can protect you.”

But she couldn’t stop herself. “An assassin? A secret agent?”

“He had an inheritance, okay? He just travels a lot.” His eyes flicked away from hers. A good sign he was lying.

“What is he?”

Choking on his milk, he cleared his throat and wiped his mouth. “What do you mean?”

“I swear to God if he’s a dragon I won’t be able to deal. That last one kept burping fireballs.”

“Lucien? He’s a good guy.”

“His farts smelled like sulfur.”

Jason shrugged. “I thought it was funny.” He dunked another cookie in the cup. “You know what, if you beat me at nine-ball, I’ll tell you what he does and what he is?”

“Okay, come on.” Jade stood.

“I meant later.”

“No, we’re doing this right now.

Bending at the waist, Jade readied her stick, lining her eyesight with the cue ball, hitting it with just enough power. Jason frowned as the cue ball tapped the nine into the side pocket.

“So . . .” she said.

“I’ll give you twenty bucks to walk away so I don’t have to answer the question.”

“Shouldn’t have wagered if you couldn’t afford to lose.”

“Touché.” He sighed.

“So what is he?”

“Complicated. That’s what he is.” Jason massaged his temples, and with the straightest face he gave the big finale. “He’s the son of Satan.”

She rolled her eyes, sighing. “I beat you and you still won’t tell me the truth.”

His lip lifted into a half-smile. “Did you really think I’d tell you anything?”

Erica sat her margarita on a nearby table. “Let’s go, blondie.”

“You rack it, red.”

Jade held the pool stick as her sister racked the balls. She eyed the quivering liquor bottles that lined the shelves. Earthquake? The crystal glasses started to rock on the flat surface, swaying back and forth. The brown wood walls suddenly quaked, along with the floor beneath her feet, the ground feeling like it was about to open up and swallow them whole. The wide flat screen plastered to the wall did a jig.

A gust of wind shook the inside of the house like a shock-wave, rattling drinks and shattering some as they fell off the edge of the shelf and onto the floor. Erica and Jason stood on the other side of the pool table, looking around the room and then at each other with wide eyes. Some sort of hellish power just shot its way through the room and no one seemed to know where it came from.

“Was that an earthquake?” Erica asked, steadying herself with hands on the pool table.

Jason stared around the room curiously. “Doubtful.”

Back against the wall, Jade scowled as her gaze flashed to him. He wasn’t panicked; he ran a calm hand through his tousled gold hair. But he wasn’t thrilled either. On the other hand, Erica anxiously played with the bun of her hair and, for the first time, Jade thought she saw a speck of fear in her sister’s green eyes as she faced Jason. The two shared a moment of their own. It was a fleeting look, and instantly both had a display of understanding on their faces.

“I can already tell this is going to work.” A big, fat smile lit up Erica’s face, and her gaze slid to Jade as she took the pool stick out of her hands.

“God, don’t jinx us.”

Jade’s scowl grew even deeper. Those two were up to something. They both looked as if they’d just fed a thousand starving orphans. Which meant they either committed a horribly good deed or a terribly bad crime. Her sister’s giddiness meant it was probably both.

“What did you do?” Jade asked, raising a brow.

“Committed suicide, sweetheart.” Jason’s lips thinned.

The front door slammed into the wall, and Dom stepped into the foyer, soaked from head to toe. He paused, half expecting Len to be waiting for him in the dark hallway. Thankfully, the witch was smarter than he’d given her credit for. Granted, he had a few words for her, and possibly a few new ways to die too.

As he continued inside, he stiffened, nostrils flaring as a scent so powerful nearly knocked him off his feet. The sweetest hint of lavender raised the hairs on his arm and set his skin and body afire like a bolt of lightning.

The beast within came to life, and Dom struggled to shove him back down. Holy hell, he could drown in that scent. Fucking bathe in it.

He needed to find where it was coming from—had to—wanted to bury his nose in it and just . . . breathe and become one with it. Shaking the goosebumps off, he stepped forward, his combat boots leaving mud-prints along the marble floor. His gaze swept over the stairs, flashed from the barroom to the living room, and landed at the end of the hall where the dining room and kitchen set dark and empty.

“There a problem?” Aidyn asked as he stepped beside him, a black duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

Dom shot him a look.

Aidyn cocked a brow. “What?”

He scowled. “You can’t smell that?”

“I farted before we came inside.”

“Not that, you idiot. The lavender—you can’t smell the lavender?”

Man, it was all over the place, down each corridor, in every room.

His brother dropped his bag to the floor. “Mm, no. All I can smell is my fart. I feel like it followed me in.”

Dom ignored him, rubbing his bottom lip as he walked down the hall slow and hesitant, afraid he’d pass by whatever emanated that scent. He swore he smelled it before . . . he just couldn’t remember where.

The laughter of women came from the lounge, stopping Dom in his tracks.

Aidyn tilted his head back and sniffed the air. “Hmm. Humans.”

In his home? No, no, no. What idiot decided it would be okay to house mortals? This wasn’t an animal shelter. Or a fucking refugee camp. This was the only place that let him escape the clutches of humanity and the brink of insanity, and right now it seemed he had an abundance of both. His eyes narrowed into slits and his blood boiled.

The beast doubled back. With an uneven breath, he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to keep it at bay.

Aidyn watched him with caution and patted his back. “Calm down, Dom.” He smirked. “At least they’re women. Might be some fun for us.”

Dom shrugged off his brother’s hand as he headed for the lounge doors. “They’d better be tall, tanned, and blonde.”

Gripping the handles of the double doors, he pushed them open and his eyes scouted the room, first connecting with the two women standing by the pool table. They weren’t blonde—in fact, they weren’t tall either. And only one of them was anywhere close to tan. The redhead was ghost white. Almost blinding in her paleness. His eyes settled on the back of a familiar head of golden hair, and in his mind, he was bashing that head against a brick wall. Repeatedly.

Just brains everywhere.

His brother whistled, catching everyone’s attention. Jason spun around, stumbling over his own feet as his pool stick slipped out his hand and landed on the floor with a loud “clack.”

“Oh, uh, hey guys. I didn’t know you’d be back so soon.”

“Yeah, you did.” Aidyn nodded toward Dom. “You fucked up his car.”

“Actually, that was Len. Len fucked up your car.”

“What a snitch.” Aidyn chuckled, walking toward the group. “You must have the biggest brass balls of anyone I know. First, you bring humans in his home,” he looked to the women and winked, “not that I mind at all,” and then focused his stare on Jason, “but then you deliberately fuck up his baby. It’s sitting out there in the rain, not wanting to start. We had to push that bitch all the way up the driveway. You do know how long that driveway is, don’t you?”

Sweat dripped from Jason’s forehead. “Three miles . . .”

“Yeah, Jason, three miles. We pushed it three miles uphill in the damn rain with Zeke’s fat ass asleep in the backseat.” Aidyn cocked his head to the side. “So, I can assure you Dom’s not in a good mood. And we all know he’s got anger issues.”

He did; he didn’t categorize that as “issues” though.

His glare flicked to his brother who shrugged. “Just being honest.” Aidyn turned back to Jason. “You think he looks calmer than normal?”

“Yeah, yeah, he does.”

“Maybe those breathing techniques are working,” his brother muttered.

Negative. He was too busy deciding who to kill first.

Dom’s face darkened as he slid his gaze across the women again. A part of him swore the redhead seemed familiar, especially the half smirk she gave him. Then his eyes trailed to her—the brunette trying to blend in with the dark wood of the wall. All color drained from his face as dread bunched under his flesh.

Right then, he realized why that smell of lavender was so familiar. He couldn’t forget her face or the scar running along her throat in a million years. Or those goddamn freckles. Fists clenching, he stepped forward, all the dread replaced with hot billowing rage.

With his constant lack of sleep, he could have strangled her for damning him to torment night after night. He had enough hate for her to last a lifetime.

The honey eyes that haunted him glanced over and took him in. He held his breath, waiting for some kind of reaction—for her to speak and the shame churning inside him to come rushing out.

Yet, all he got was a lick of the lips and a hot stare.

She didn’t recognize him at all. And though he should’ve felt the least bit relieved, he grew angrier instead. He gritted his teeth so hard he heard them grind against each other. He should’ve left her ass beneath that freezing water, helpless and drowning in that cold ice of the current.

If an abyss had eyes, Jade imagined they’d looked much like the ones glaring at her. The man had the blackest eyes she’d ever seen. Solid black like an onyx stone. Cold and hollow. No light bounced off them, not even the slightest glint or reflection. Still, he was handsome. Short-trimmed jet black hair narrowed into a widow’s peak.

The well-built man towered over her and the others. His massive body and dark aura filled the doorway, the air growing heavier with every footfall of his boots. Huge tattooed arms crossed over his chest as he paused in the middle of the room. That full bottom lip twitched and, like a bee drawn to honey, she licked her own.

Water dripped from his wide shoulders and rolled down olive skin. Dear God, she loved olive skin. Never in her life did she have the urge to lick someone, but damn if he didn’t bring the idea to mind. And that strange urge was strong, prompting her to step forward like a dazed cat.

Maybe, instead of just licking, she’d dive downward. Skim her teeth across those prominent hip muscles that dipped beneath the fabric of his dark jeans. And then she’d probably go even lower to—

“Jade.” Her sister’s fingers locked around her wrist in a vice grip. “You look like you’re about to go right up and dry hump him.”

“I might.”

Erica lightly guided her back to the wall. Somewhere in a parallel universe, she had switched bodies with her sister. Danger and evil—they suddenly looked tempting.

He stared right at her, pinning her with that unwavering soulless leer. The left side of his face bore a long, jagged scar down his brow and over his eye, adding another heavy dose of villainy to his devilish appearance.

“Now, Dom, I know you’re mad, but don’t take your anger out on the girls.”

For a fraction of a second, his eyes flashed to Jason, and then slid back to her.

A part of her wanted to curl up in a corner and hide. Yet, the other part of her—a dark side lurking near the gates of hell—wanted a taste of him. A lick. A touch. A kiss . . .

And again like a mindless fool, she stepped forward, completely absorbed by the man.

“You know I wouldn’t ask you for a favor unless I was in serious trouble.” Jason’s words stopped her in place.

He was Jason’s cousin? The one that could supposedly protect her from Marcy? She found that hard to believe because, at that moment, he looked like he’d feed her to the witch himself.

“Jesus, Jason, what the hell did you get into now?” The shorter man with black hair and turquoise eyes asked with a huff.

Dom didn’t say a word. His stare hardened on her as if he somehow knew she was the problem.

“It’s Marcy’s feeding time,” Jason answered.

Turquoise glanced at Dom. “I thought you killed her years ago?”

“Her sister—he killed her sister, Matilda,” Jason chimed in.

With a shrug, Turquoise rolled his eyes. “There’s, like, twelve of them. They’re all the same.” Then he made a face and looked to Dom again. “Didn’t you give Matilda’s heart to Marcy?” Jade’s breath caught in her throat, eyes widening. The sweet heat stirring in her gut burned out and shriveled in fear, “So, who’s the lucky pick this time?” Turquoise smirked.

Clearing his throat, Jason wiped the sweat from his forehead and motioned to her. “For three very . . . very long years, I’ve been hiding Jade all over the world. Dodging hitmen, fleeing in the dead of night, and driving countless hours to get away from Marcy.” He took a breath. “But she always finds us.”

“I’m not trying to play devil’s advocate,” a disheveled man with long brown hair stood at the opening of the lounge, aviator sunglasses covering the eyes—yes, inside the house—and his hand holding the frame for support as he lifted a bottle of scotch to his lips. He took a swig, drops of liquor splashing onto his beard, “but why out of all places would you come here?”

“It’s the last place she’d look.”

The drunk gave a hearty chuckle. “That’s because he’s more dangerous than she is,” he muttered, sobering just enough to walk to the sectional couch and plop down with a grunt.

The evil man’s gaze finally lifted from her as he scowled toward the drunk.

Jason walked towards him with caution. “Look, Dom, I am beyond sorry for springing this on you. I just—” His words cut short as a giant hand gripped him by the throat and lifted him off the floor.

She froze, fear pounding her heart like a steel drum. Another emotion also pushed its way into her body, one that had her tummy fluttering with all sorts of notions. Power radiated from him.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down, Dom,” The man with turquoise eyes pleaded, placing his hand on the bigger man’s bicep. “Put him down before you bash his face in. I don’t feel like cleaning blood off the floor again,” he said in a hushed whisper.

The man named Dom threw the other guy a frustrated look, his expression a warning. Daring Turquoise to test him again. With a twist of his foot, the man hurled Jason through the two open oak doors, a loud crash echoing from the near the stairs, and the stranger headed for him, his gait the equivalent of a lion’s as the muscles in his broad shoulders flexed.

Turquoise cleared his throat, shifting his attention to her and her sister.

He clapped his hands together. “Uh, excuse us for a moment, while we . . . settle things,” he said, leaving the room and shutting the doors behind him.

Jason crashed into the staircase, sending the wall of the stairs into a fierce shake. Dom wasn’t playing around. He knew what Jason wanted—the same thing that everyone else came knocking on his door for. Protection. Whether it was for their selves or someone else.

Dom grabbed him by the throat and held him up at eye level. “I let you stay in my home, and this is how you repay me? By moving humans in while I’m gone? Especially her.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to do. You know I wouldn’t have brought her here unless it was my last option. And believe me, I’m out of options.” The faerie’s gaze fidgeted.

“You had Len fuck with my car, so I’d come home and play Captain Babysit with your damn human?” Jason wouldn’t look him in the eye. “You. Fucked. Up. My. Car.”

“I had to. You don’t understand—”

Not wanting to hear his excuse, Dom drew back his fist and swung, packing a heavy blow that landed somewhere near the faerie’s left eye. Punch after punch, he mastered all his rage into his fists, paying the sorry SOB back for his car more than anything. He slung the faerie into the hall wall, his head bouncing off the wood.

“You’re paying for my goddamn car.” Dom slammed a boot into his ribs as Jason slumped to the floor in a heap. “And you’re packing your shit and taking these humans with you.”

A sob wracked Jason’s body, and he curled into a ball and snuggled into the molding of the wall.

“Damn, Dom. What the hell’d you do to him?” Aidyn walked out the dining room with a box of crackers in hand.

Dom’s brow knotted as he stared down at the faerie. It wasn’t like this was the first time Jason had the shit knocked out of him. Hell, this wasn’t even Dom’s worst beat down.

“He break your nose again, Jason?”

“No.” He sat up, his face bloody and swollen. “I’m supposed to protect her and I can’t, okay?” Jason wiped the snot and blood off his nose with a palm. “I’ve failed as a man.”

“I’d say so,” Dom muttered.

Another sob. “I should’ve made you take her.”

Dom’s eyes widened and his heart stopped for a split second. Aidyn looked to him for an answer.

“Don’t look at me. I don’t know what he’s talkin’ about.” But he did. And if the faery kept talking, he’d save him the bitter taste of failure and replace it with a boot to the teeth.

His brother kneeled beside the battered fae. “What are you talking about?”

Instead of speaking directly to his brother, Jason locked eyes with him. “Dom, if you make us leave, she’ll die.” The fae swallowed hard and shook his head. “You’re strong—you can take on anybody. I’m not . . . I can’t protect her like you can.”

“Not my problem.” Dom turned away from the fae. “Pack your shit and get out.”

Cousin or not, the fae could drown in failure for all he cared. He wasn’t letting humans stay in his home under any condition. He wasn’t a babysitter, and he wasn’t a guardian. If Jason wanted that kind of protection, he’d have a better chance praying in a church. Dom jogged the stairs and rounded the corner of the third floor, slamming his fist into the wall and rattling the row of lamps down the corridor.

Sliding his tongue over his teeth, he slowed as he neared his bedroom. That mouthwatering devil of a fragrance had found its way back to his nose, overwhelming him as he came to a halt at his door.

He arched a brow at the door across from his. Was she staying in that room?

He checked over his shoulder to make sure no one was coming and then twisted the doorknob. The sweetness hit him like a brick wall as it flooded the corridor. The TV lit the room, which judging by the blankets and clothes that set neatly folded on top of the bed, was inhabited by a female—unless there happened to be a cross-dresser in the house that he didn’t know about.

Of course she’d choose the room right across from his.

He kicked the door shut as he peered around. The old version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre played on the screen, flashing scenes of Leather-face. He skimmed his fingertips along the edge of the bed, the smooth silk brushing against his skin. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath, and savoring the freshening aroma that filled the room.

Lavender surrounded him. Blended in with the air so naturally.

He didn’t remember her smell being so heavy and intoxicating, so deathly addicting and overwhelming that he swayed with lightheadedness. He steadied himself with a hand to the bedpost.

His eyes shot open as he shook off the dizziness and blinked. The hell was that?

A deep breath fell from his lungs but the fuzziness didn’t go away. It lingered over his head like a cloud of fog. When he was sure he wouldn’t fall over, he moved toward the wooden dresser, noticing the leather notebook that sat upon it.

He opened it, peeling back the black binding. Pictures filled the first few pages. He flipped further, passing one after the other until stumbling upon a middle page overflowing with a bunch of sketches. As he picked them up, his ears perked at the sound of footsteps approaching the room. He shoved the papers back in, shut the book and took it with him as he hid behind the bathroom door, the darkness enveloping him.

She walked in with Jason trailing her.

“If anyone can protect you, it’s him.” Jason bowed his head. “I don’t have the physical strength to stop her from taking you.”

“But I take it he said no.”

He nodded.

She grabbed a tall pile of clothes off her bed and stacked them on her dresser. “Could be worse, I guess. They could be vampires.” Her nose scrunched.

“See, aren’t you happy they don’t look like death?”

“I wouldn’t insult death like that. He might be offended.” She lifted a gold chain from her neck and placed it on her dresser as well. “My sister’s not gonna be too happy about leaving.””

The lines around Jason’s mouth deepened. “Damn, I gotta get back in the car with that.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m pretty tempted to leave her ass here. You think they’ll notice?”

“Uh, yeah, especially the tall one. I think he’d lose his shit,” she said with a yawn. “By the way, did you see him glaring me down?”

“That’s just Dom. He’s got an undying hate for humans.”

“He didn’t look at my sister like that.”

“True. You got me on that one.”

Dom studied the human from behind the door, becoming aware of how curvy she was. Thick hips, round ass, sweet thighs he could grip. She was kind of pudgy in the tummy area, but he liked that. Made her soft-looking.

He rolled his bottom lip into his mouth. She had one of those bodies that screamed for attention, and here she was hiding it in a blue Rolling Stones t-shirt and dark blue jeans. A waste of curves if you asked him.

Jason smirked as the human leaned against her bedpost. “Pack your stuff. We’ll leave in the morning.”

As he left, the woman went over to her dresser and hesitated, eyes roaming the surface. Dom grimaced. She noticed the book had disappeared. He knew she did because in an instant she was searching frantically, moving objects out of the way, looking under the desk, standing on her tippy toes and peeking behind the dresser.

He glanced down at the book in his grip.

What was in there that was so damn important? A map to Never Land?

“Dammit,” she said as she moved to her bed and sifted through all the clothes. “House must have some serious ghost issues.” Suddenly she stepped back and waved. “Look here, ghosts, I know I put my book right there on that dresser. Give it back and I’ll give you a nice show in the bathtub.”

Dom’s gaze darkened, and he contemplated putting the book back on the dresser. And as if someone else read his mind, he felt a tug on the book.

An invisible tug.

As he looked down, the tug became more forceful, feeling as if there were more than one hand pulling at the book. He frowned as he jerked it back and tucked it under his arm.

She combed her fingers through her dark tresses and headed for her bathroom. “I’m going insane.”

Dom leaned back against the glass wall, the blanket of darkness enveloping him. She walked by, completely oblivious to him standing there, eyeing her as she passed. The blissful smell of her swallowed him whole, rising his hunger out of its den. But it wasn’t food he hungered for.

No, he was hungry for something else. And so was the beast.

There had to be something wrong with her—humans didn’t smell that good. At least none he’d ever been around. The damn woman needed to get out of his home because her pheromones were screwed up—therefore, screwing him up. He had enough problems without her adding to them.

The bathroom door clicked shut, and his chance to slide out opened.

I need a drink. Lighting a cigarette, he started for the door.

He looked down at his right hand and realized he still had the book. Shaking his head, he put it back on the dresser as he walked by. Only one night, that was all and then she’d be gone. Then he’d never have to deal with her again . . . except when he slept.

He reached the door and hesitated, glancing over his shoulder at the hardcover bound in black leather. He wondered if she wrote about the accident, wondered what she remembered. She had to remember him—she had looked right at him and . . . He shook his head.

She already thought the book was missing. Keeping it for the night wouldn’t hurt.

“Fuck,” Dom muttered, stalking back to the dresser and snatching the book.

Just curious, that’s all, he told himself as he walked out the door.

Jade eyed the man sitting beside her. The long-haired drunk laid his bare feet on the table and picked his teeth with a toothpick. She slid her gaze to the end of the table where the other guy lay passed out in his bowl of mashed potatoes.

Really? This was the safe home he’d brought her to? She’d be safer in a cardboard box in an alleyway.

Jason nudged him. “Aidyn. Aidyn, wake up.”

“Hmm?”

“Wake up, man. You’re gonna drown in your food.”

The man sat up, wiping clumps of potato off his face. “How long was I out?”

“A few minutes.”

Aidyn nodded, pulling a baggy out his pocket. He dumped the white contents of it into a pile on the table and took a razor blade to it, forming the substance into a thin, straight line. She gawked at him as he dipped his head and snorted it off the surface.

She raised her brows. Well . . . she hadn’t been expecting that.

When he straightened, his turquoise eyes were alert, alive, and dilated.

He looked around the table, blinking before looking down to his plate. “Where’d my mash potatoes go?”

“You should probably check your hair.” Jade clued him in.

Her sister leaned over to him. “Here, let me get it out for you.”

Jade snorted as her sister batted her green doe eyes at him, all the while dusting food off his hair. She couldn’t decide what was more hilarious: the fact that Aidyn still had potatoes in his hair or the fact that her sister was flirting with a coke addict who had potatoes in his hair.

Within a day, the woman would be proclaiming her love for the man. Jade could already see it. And yes, her sister would sink that low if the looks were right.

“It’s amazing women still come onto you,” the long-haired man beside her said, his emerald eyes darting back and forth between her sister and Aidyn.

He smelled like a brewery and looked like he’d been stuck in the basement of one for five years. He ran a hand over his weeks’ worth of beard growth, bringing her attention to his strong, square jaw. It was different than his brothers—their jawlines not as wide.

These were the worst kind of men when her sister was involved because she’d want to host a party in her bedroom.

Dress code: naked.

The patio door in the kitchen slammed, and the 6’6 man with hellish attributes walked into the dining hall, water dripping from his forehead. Droplets raced from his shoulders to the curve of his hip bones. She swallowed hard, her mouth watering as her eyes devoured. The sight of him had her breath catching in her throat. No man had ever thrown her off like that. Gave her all those funky feelings.

Her sister wouldn’t be getting him. No, she had already mentally called dibs on him. That ass was hers.

Active imaginations didn’t compare to the reality standing in front of her. Not in the slightest. He emulated everything that a man was supposed to be: Big. Strong. The warrior type.

“Finally decided to join us, huh, Dom?” Aidyn asked.

The man halted in the archway. His black stare roamed the table, pausing on her. She noticed his lip curl when her stare hovered for too long on his scar. Averting her eyes, she tried to keep her gaze from drifting downward again, afraid she’d jump up from the table and dry hump his leg.

His thick body was wrapped in ropes of muscle, biceps sculpted, thighs crafted, abdomen defined. This man was built to fight, just like he was built to fuck and feed.

He walked around the table and snatched up the filled plate that sat across from her, but not before looking at her as if she were the dirt beneath his feet. She cast her eyes down as he stalked out the room.

“Don’t mind him,” Aidyn said, cutting his steak with his knife. “He’s not a people person.”

Jason cleared his throat. “You mind talking to him for me? Maybe persuade him to let us stay?”

The man sitting next to Jade snorted. “Good luck with that.”

“He probably won’t change his mind but,” Aidyn shrugged, lifting his wine glass to his lips, “I’ll try. So, do we get an introduction, Jason? Or do we have to guess each other’s names?”

“Mm, sorry.” Jason pointed to Erica with his fork. “Erica, meet Aidyn.” Then he pointed to her. “And over there is Jade. Jade, meet Aidyn and Zeke.” He did a quick round.

He was becoming slack with introductions.

“I think that’s the quickest introduction I’ve ever had,” Zeke said with a grin.

Dom pawed his eyes, wiping the sleep from their corners. Leaning against the stone railing of the balcony, the two gargoyles guarded his sides as he stared out at the dark mountains. Light rain droplets fell from the misty clouds above, tapping the top of his head and shoulders with the cold stray runaways. The bitter chill of late August raised the hair on his arm. Another sign that autumn lingered right around the corner.

He put a cigarette in his mouth, lit it, and cracked his neck. Letting his head fall back, he savored the silence, something he’d been lacking for the past 72 hours. His brothers followed him everywhere, one step behind him at all times, never shutting up. It was like they were babysitting him to make sure he didn’t do anything too terrible. In reality though, he was the one babysitting them.

Zeke was too drunk to walk half the time, and Aidyn was usually nose deep in cocaine. And stuck in the middle of their presence was Dom, the loner who just wanted to be—believe it or not—left alone.

But did they listen? Did they get the hint? No, of course not. Sometimes he questioned if they were related to him at all.

Honestly, it wasn’t their habits that bothered him. It was their ability to overlook and forget—well not necessarily forget—but ignore. It amazed him because he couldn’t forget. He couldn’t ignore. In fact, he drowned in remembrance as if he were brainwashed. Permanently stuck in the muddy thoughts and memories that called his mind home.

He couldn't forget. He wouldn't. Forever branded with the memories and scarred with the pain.

The beast inside was the outcome. Uncontrollable. Vicious. Bloodthirsty. His brothers believed if they were around they could stop it, chain it up, and prevent it from killing again. He hated to tell them they weren’t as strong as they thought.

The scars on his shoulder blades ached with vigor. He rubbed the left side, massaging the raised, rough skin, wincing as the soreness spread to the bone. They seemed to be the only wounds that never healed.

His bedroom door opened and his moment of peace slipped away at the snap of a finger. He didn’t have to glance back to know who it was.

“You got it too damn empty in here. It doesn’t even feel like a room.” Aidyn’s footsteps carried forward. “And it’s cold as hell. You know you can turn the temperature up?”

“What do you want?” Lightning streaked across the sky, striking somewhere behind the hills.

“You really gonna throw Jason and those girls out?”

He threw him a look.

“I mean, I just think we could . . . have use for them—if you know what I mean.” Aidyn quirked his brows as he settled against the railing. “That brunette in there could definitely get your mind off that dream you’ve been having.”

Shaking his head, Dom’s grip tightened on the banister. “No.”

“Come on, just think about it.”

“I said no,” the last word ended in a growl.

His brother gave a defeated sigh. “Fine, I’ll have them out in the morning.”

Dom pivoted, drowning in frustration as he pushed past Aidyn. The depressing gray walls around him reminded him of his old prison cell. Cold and dark just like it. The room was nearly barren, with a wooden table in the corner, two stands at his bedside, a dresser with a few clothes, and a bed dressed in gray sheets that he rarely slept in.

“What’s this?” his brother asked.

Dom turned halfway. Aidyn pointed to the black book that sat on his bureau in the corner.

Aw, shit. He needed to learn to put things up before people decided to barge into his room.

“None of your damn business.”

“Okay, okay, calm down. No reason to get snippy with me.” Aidyn held his hands up as if surrendering.

After shoving his brother out of his room, Dom grabbed the human’s book off the table and paced in front of his bed as he flipped through its pages. He turned another page and five folded pieces of sketch paper floated to the floor. He saved the sixth one from falling and unraveled it. The crease between his brows pinched together as he squinted at the pair of eyes sketched on the vanilla paper. The cobalt blue orbs stared back at him, familiar, forgotten, lost all the same. A muscle ticked in his jaw, and he slung the book at the wall, the pages and pictures raining across the floor.

The next morning, Dom pounded his fist against the closed oak door. He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose as a sick feeling bubbled in his stomach. For the tenth time, he asked himself the same question.

What the hell am I doing?

The door creaked open and Jason poked his head out, his eyes widening as they settled on him. “We’re leaving in an hour, I promise.”

Dom’s face scrunched. “You can stay.” The words tasted sour.

“What?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself.”

The faery’s face lit up with a big grin, and Dom had the urge to knock it clean off.

“Wipe that smile off your face, boy.” Jason turned to stone as Dom took a step closer to him. “Understand if they mess with my shit—I throw them out. They eat the food in my kitchen that’s meant for me—I throw them out. They get in my way, and I throw them out,” Dom grounded out. “Got it?”

And he meant it. This wasn’t the pound. He wasn’t taking in strays, feeding them, and taking them out to piss because some witch wanted to cut open a heart. His home didn’t even count as a sanctuary.

Jason gulped and nodded. “Yeah.” Good.

“And no, I’m not protecting her. You can find somebody else to do that job. You’re fucking lucky I’m letting those humans breathe in my presence.” Dom stepped back. “They are your problem. Are we clear?”

He only let them stay so he had time to find a way to rid himself of the dreams. If she disappeared again, chances were he’d be stuck with them for life. And to be honest, he’d rather be stuck with her and her sister for a few months than keep reliving the same dream over and over.

The faery stared at him, mouth opening and shutting like a fish.

“Are we clear?” he asked again.

Jason blinked. “Uh, yeah, yeah, of course.”

Leaving a stunned Jason in the hall, Dom climbed up the stairs and made his way back to his room. Right before he reached his door, Jade stepped into the hall. Her black band t-shirt clung loosely to her shape and her jean shorts cut off at mid-thigh. Out of habit, his gaze ran down the length of those smooth tan legs.

A thought flashed through his mind. Her. Him. Licking those thighs. His Adam’s apple bobbed and his mouth watered. The smell of her overwhelmed him once again, and he had to grit his teeth to control himself from the wolfish urges.

For one second, she met his eyes and cringed, quickly looking away. And then he realized why—he’d been glaring the fuck out of her. But that was his normal approach to humans, and he wasn’t planning on not glaring at her just because she smelled good.

“He’s letting you stay?” Aidyn asked again as he pulled a dark blue shirt over his head.

Jason took another bite of his bagel smothered in cream cheese. “Yeah, whatever you said must’ve changed his mind.”

Jade washed her fork and plate at the sink, flicking a glance at the two men every few seconds. Was she eavesdropping? No. Was she being a good listener? Yes.

“Pff, he told me ‘no,’ and that was that.” Aidyn stood at the island, leaning on the stainless-steel counter to grab one of the freshly baked croissants.

“Maybe he’s had a change of heart.” Jason licked his fingers and handed his dirty plate to Jade.

“Now, now, Jason, let’s not delude ourselves. Dom doesn’t have a heart.” Tapping his finger against his mouth, Aidyn sighed. “He has a reason. He doesn’t do things that don’t benefit him.”

“And how do we benefit him?”

“Well, you don’t benefit anything, but,” Aidyn nodded toward Jade as he pushed off the counter, “they’re women. There’s a lot of benefits when it comes to women, human or not.”

“He better think again. He’s not touching either of them.”

“Says the guy he beat the shit out of last night.” Aidyn smirked and headed for the backdoor with Jason following behind him like a lost puppy.

As they left, Jade rested her back against the sink counter and looked around. What the hell did these guys do for a living? With the giant kitchen made up of stainless steel and dark granite, somebody would think they were CEO’s of a large cooperation. But since the owner seemed to hate everyone, she remained completely stumped at how they managed to live this good.

She glanced at the fridge. Did they have any snacks? She hated to raid their goodies, but Erica and Jason had emptied her room of every edible content—Cheetos and all. Opening the refrigerator, she studied each shelf. Beer. More Beer. Bacon. Oreos? Typical guy food.

The fridge door shut, nearly taking her face with it. Her eyes followed the large hand gripping the handle and trailed up a tattooed arm. Dom stood beside her, shirtless and in a pair of black boxers. After she was done admiring the view, she noted his dark eyes were narrowed into slits.

She put up her hands in surrender and, not wanting to squeeze by him, went the long way around the island counter so that he could have the fridge all to his greedy self.

His eyes didn’t move from her as she left the kitchen. With a sigh, she walked through the dining room and past the lounge.

I damn sure didn’t sign up for this, Jade thought as she trudged up the stairs.

When she got to her room, she went inside and dropped on the bed with a huff. She covered her hands with her face.

The door to the room flew open so suddenly it made her bolt upright from the bed. Jade’s hand flew to her chest and she blew out an annoyed breath.

“Do we have a problem?” she asked with an attitude.

Erica grinned big as she closed the door while twirling a yellow flower in her hand. “Guess who gave me this?”

“I’m assuming the cokehead did?”

“I think I’m in love!” Erica threw herself on the bed beside Jade and stuck the yellow flower to her nose, her vibrant red hair falling over her shoulder. “It smells like love.”

“You just met him last night.”

Her sister’s smile grew. “Well, unlike some people, I believe in love at first sight.”

Jade cut her eyes. “You’d have better luck kissing a toad and hoping it’d turn into a prince.”

“We’re gonna watch a movie later tonight.” Erica closed her eyes as if she pictured the two of them together. “Maybe you and Zeke should join us.”

Sometimes, Jade wondered where her sister’s mind disappeared to when men were involved.

“Negative, ghost rider. Take your Cinderella story elsewhere.”

“I don’t know why I talk to you most of the time. You’re such a Debbie-downer.” Her sister prodded at the pedals with a frown.

“Because I’m the only one who listens to you.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right.” She pushed her hair behind her ear. “We’re gonna be spending the next few months here. Might as well get to know them.”

Jade turned on her side. “Don’t you ever get sick of getting to know people? Don’t you ever just wanna be left alone?”

“No, not really. I like people.”

Her mouth thinned at her sister’s response.

“Besides, you need a boyfriend or something. You’re gonna be turning twenty-four this year. You need to live life to the fullest before you die.”

“Thanks.”

“Hey, I’m just being brutally honest. You need a good fucking from someone who knows how to do it.” Erica winked and waggled her eyebrows.

“That man is too drunk to do anything right.”

“I was referring to the one across the hall. In there all alone. I bet he’s got a big one, and he looks like he knows how to use it.” Her teeth pulled her bottom lip.

“Go for it.” He’d be a step up from the cokehead.

“You don’t want him?”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he’s been glaring the hell out of me.”

“He wouldn’t if you knocked on his door with no clothes on.”

“You obviously have not seen the death stare he’s given me.”

“You didn’t see the way he looked at you earlier when you passed him outside. His eyes were on your ass.” She giggled and threw the flower at Jade. “I saw him lick his lips.”

“Your lying game is impeccable.”

“I’m being honest. Swear on mom’s grave,” she said, putting a hand over her heart. “Go over there naked. He’ll pull you in and fuck you harder than a whore on a Sunday morning.” Erica’s expressions were getting out of hand.

Jade’s brow knotted. “No thanks.”

Her sister sighed with frustration and threw herself down on the mattress. “Jesus, have you ever lived?”