#this at least makes that easier lmaoooo

[orcelito]

Sometimes my brain overreacts to things in a Major way and I'm left like. Man......

[ggukiepie]

girl in luv (boy in luv pt. 6)

pairing: jungkook x reader

summary: jungkook finally tells you what you've been wanting to hear for so long...but you're still not happy

tags: bil!couple, college!au, bff!jk, two idiots in love, angst (what's new), fluff, happy ending !!!, kissing hihi

wc: 3.5k

a/n: lmaoooo hi im sorry this took so long. i didn't like what i originally wrote so i scrapped the whole thing and well here it is! i hope u guys like it. this is the last part for the series. tho i do plan to post some drabbles here and there (like their first time together maybe) but no promises anw thats its bye happy reading !!!! series masterlist / main masterlist

~*~

Your phone suddenly buzzes—someone was calling you. Though, instead of answering it, you stuff your phone between your couch cushions to block out the noise. You don’t dare look at your screen, sure you’ll get tempted to answer the call—whoever that was. You haven’t got much social interaction these days, always choosing to go straight home after each class, eating by yourself, declining invites to parties and hangouts. It’s not like anyone’s forcing you to be this way. You did this to yourself, really. You’d rather be alone than hangout with people. You didn’t have the energy to do so. You just wanted to be in your bubble a little bit longer.

Deep down, you know you’re craving to talk to someone. Anyone. But somehow you always end up alone. With your thoughts.

Self-sabotage, if you will.

The thoughts don’t help either. Your mind always drifts to Jungkook. Sometimes you think about him and his girlfriend. Most of the time, you think of your friendship. You missed what you had, even though you had to guard your heart every time, even if you got your hopes up at the simplest of actions. You missed being with Jungkook because for the time you were with him, he felt like he was…yours? There was no doubt that you were his. Had been from the start but didn’t realize it till later on. Your heart always craved for him, yearned for him when he wasn’t with you. Your heart felt lighter when you were together, be it doing the most mundane of things or sharing a special moment.

If you could just toughen up and tell him how you feel. But it was easier said than done. He already indirectly rejected you when he got together with some girl. But why would he reject you if he never knew how you felt? Maybe you were too busy protecting your heart, protecting the friendship you might lose if you would’ve confessed. You never thought he’d feel the same, even though you had moments that felt like he did.

You shake your head to rid your thoughts. You try to focus on writing the essay in front of you. Your Friday nights felt different now—stuck doing homework while your friends were partying.

You’re finally two pages deep when you hear frantic knocking on your door. You check the time on your laptop and see it’s a little past one in the morning. You suddenly rush to open your door, scared that you’d get a noise complaint all of a sudden.

You stand frozen, mouth agape at the scene in front of you.

“Huh?” you dumbly say.

It’s your three closest friends in your doorway. Jimin and Taehyung are somewhat conscious—at least they’re standing upright. But you notice the sway in their stance and you can smell the alcohol off of them. But it’s Jungkook between them that makes you freeze. He’s passed out, you’re sure of it, and the only reason why he’s sort of standing up is because Jimin and Tae have his arms around their shoulders.

“Why are you guys here?” you finally say.

It’s Taehyung who speaks up, smiling that smile he has when he wants something to go his way. When he has a plan that you might say no to (which you usually do). “Jungkook,” he points at Jungkook, as if you’d confuse him with anyone else, “is drunk.”

“I can see that,” you deadpan.

“And!” Tae rushes to say, like you’re about five seconds from shutting the door in their faces. “He kept asking for you. So we are simply complying with his request.”

“Because we are great friends,” Jimin pipes in. Taehyung nods in confirmation.

“Me?” you whisper, as if Taehyung were referring to anyone else. Your mind isn’t any better than his drunk one at this point.

“Yes!” Jimin whisper shouts. “Now let us in, he’s kinda getting heavy.”

Jungkook makes an incoherent sound from where his head is leaning on Tae’s shoulder, drool making a wet patch on the poor guy’s shirt. You take pity on your best friend and step aside to let in all of them, even though your heart’s racing because Jungkook is in your apartment.

Holy shit.

You watch them bring his unconscious body to your couch (they actually drop Jungkook and giggle all the way to your door, saying their goodbyes without looking back).

You huff at the sight in front of you. Jungkook’s cheeks are flushed red and he’s a little bit sweaty. Though, he looks so peaceful sleeping on your couch. Was he really looking for you?

You get a glass of water and two aspirins, placing it on the coffee table near him. The moment you near him, you kneel by his head and wipe the stray hairs on his forehead. You look at Jungkook, like really look at him. His eyebrows are scrunched together like something’s troubling him in his dreams. His lips are in a slight pout, lip ring glistening under your light (when did he get that, anyway?), little puffs of air coming out his mouth.

“Am I…” he mumbles. Your heart races. His eyes are still closed, but his mouth continues to move. “Am I at ____’s?”

Your heart seizes at the sound of your name. You gulp and nod slowly, then realize that he can’t hear you. “Yeah…” you trail off. “You’re in my living room.”

“Oh,” your best friend says as his eyebrows scrunch up some more. “Missed you.”

You sit back on the floor and hug your knees to yourself, preparing for whatever it is that he might say next. A drunk man’s words are his sober thoughts, right?

“Jimin and Tae said you were looking for me?”

“Mhmm,” he mumbles. “Wanted to… tell you somethin’”

You shake your head. Though your heart yearned to know, you also do know it’s not the right time. Not when he’s drunk. He might just regret his words now the next morning, which might even hurt worse than what he’s about to say. “Save it for tomorrow, Kook.” You push yourself off the floor but he stops you by holding your wrist, albeit weakly.

“Nuh uh…” he whispers. “Need to know…now. Broke up with Jiwoo.” He opens his eyes slightly and looks at you right away.

“Jungkook—”

“Like,” he continues to say, “I did it for you.”

You feel your anger rising, your body heating everywhere. “I didn’t tell you to do anything,” you firmly say.

Jungkook moves to sit up and you take a step back. “No,” he shakes his head slowly. “Jus’ didn’t feel right.”

You feel tears welling up in your eyes and you finally walk to your bedroom, slamming the door and locking it shut. You block out the sounds of Jungkook weakly calling out your name. Your fists clench in anger, the words Jungkook just uttered replaying in your head over and over. He couldn’t just dump his problems, turn around the narrative and make it seem like you made him break up with Jiwoo. That you asked him to end things with her because it didn’t feel right. And he forced himself into your home, your personal space—and drunk at that! He knew all your weak spots and used it to his advantage.

You hope he’d be gone in the morning. You don’t think your heart can hurt any more.

You hear pans clinking which promptly wakes you up. You weren’t able to sleep that much, actually, knowing Jungkook was right outside your room. You guess he stayed in the morning. He’s either cooking in your kitchen, or someone’s trying to steal your pans.

Rubbing your eyes as you open your bedroom door, you spot Jungkook by the stove with his back turned to you. He seems to be making scrambled eggs—which is the only thing he can make confidently.

“Morning,” you say. You might as well clear the air as early as now. You watch his back tense for a millisecond before he turns off the stove and sets the pan on your dining table. He turns to face you and brings a hand up to brush his hair back, a nervous tick of his that you noticed a few years back.

“Good morning,” he mumbles.

“So,” you start.

It’s so awkward you might cry again. When did things get this out of place? You start to rethink your feelings. You haven’t even confessed yet it feels like you’ve lost your best friend already. What if you confessed? What would happen then? You felt your heart closing just thinking about it now. Was your friendship really that fragile? You and Jungkook hardly fought but even if you did, you always made up right away.

“___,” he says. You look up, eyes meeting his instantly. “About last night… I’m sorry I suddenly barged into your place. I guess I really forced Tae and Jimin to bring me here.”

You nod and lean on the wall behind you, preparing for a long talk with him.

“I just really missed you, I guess—”

“Do you remember what you said last night?” you ask harshly, cutting him off so quick his shoulders tense.

Jungkook swallows nervously and nods his head. “Yeah and… I don’t know if there’s a better to say it, really. But we did break up, ____. She just wasn’t it for me.”

“And you said you did it for me,” you say, pushing him to just get to the point.

“Yes, because I realized that my heart never belonged to her. It belonged to you. Still does,” he says in a rush.

You eye him sharply, staring at his features and expression to make sure he’s completely telling the truth. You want to believe him, you really do, but why would he say that then be with someone else.

“It doesn’t make sense,” you finally say. “Why did you get together with her, then?”

“I don’t know—”

“You don’t know,” you repeat, and Jungkook’s eyes widen in panic. “You think you can come running to me right after a break up? Like I’m some second option? You don’t love her enough so you run to me instead?”

Jungkook opens and closes his mouth, mind thinking quickly to say something. His hands start to tremble and he brings a hand up to push back his hair. “I didn’t mean that,” he says hoarsely. “I didn’t realize it soon… And—” he stutters to catch his breath. “I was just scared—”

You’re fuming at this point. How could he do this to you? To just play with your feelings like that? “Get out.”

“____—"

“I mean it, Jungkook,” you shakily say. “You’ve hurt me enough. Just leave, please.”

He looks at you longingly, doe eyes watering before he nods and turns to the door in silence. You watch him put his shoes on before he leaves, not sparing you a glance. You don’t realize you’ve been tearing up as well, wiping the tears on your cheeks. Walking to the kitchen counter, you realize that Jungkook made chocolate chip pancakes. Your favorite.

It’s been a week since the incident with Jungkook and you haven’t talked to him since then. You also missed your weekly brunch with your friends, too afraid to face Jungkook. Thinking about it now, were you a little bit too harsh? Maybe. You thought you’d finally be happy upon hearing his confession but instead you pushed him away, shut him out. Because you’re scared. Terrified. Things were already going so well with Jungkook when you both were just best friends and you don’t think you can lose him forever should you actually get together and then break up.

Funny since it feels like you’ve lost him already.

It’s 8 am and you’re all alone in the student council office, trying to get some studying done as you were restless staying in your apartment. Staying there just reminds you of Jungkook, so you’ve been spending your mornings here before the other people arrive.

Suddenly, the door opens which is unusual. You usually have the place to yourself for at least another three hours. Curiously, you look up and find your best friend standing by the doorway, laptop and coffee in hand.

It’s silent for a moment, the both of you drinking each other in. Jungkook looks like he hasn’t gotten much sleep, eye bags dark and skin lackluster. You suppose you don’t look any better, knowing you barely got any sleep the past few days.

“Hi,” he finally says. You’re glad you have the long table separating the two of you. You don’t think your heart can handle being physically closer.

“Are you here for something?” you ask hesitantly.

“Can I…” He trails off, looking at the printer by the corner. You’d be laughing by now under normal circumstances. You nod instead, because it’s bizarre seeing Jungkook here asking if he can print something, which is something he liked to do back when your friendship was intact. The room is silent as you see him connect his laptop to the printer, both of you avoiding each other’s eyes. It’s too silent, actually, that it’s driving you a bit insane.

“How many pages?” you ask.

“Uhm… Fifty?” he says like he’s unsure.

“Fifty?” you repeat in a gasp. The printer is free, sure, but it’s ancient. Fifty pages will take too long and you don’t know if you can stand being in the room with him for half an hour or so.

Jungkook hands you the coffee he brought with him. “I bought you coffee as thanks.” He smiles ever so slightly and watches as you take a sip. Of course, it’s your usual order at the café down the street.

He looks at you expectantly but you’re too busy looking down at the coffee in your hands, too nervous to lock eyes with him. A few seconds later you hear him exhale and it’s just the sound of the printer in the room.

Your chest feels so tight all of a sudden like it’s ready to burst out of your ribcage any minute. It feels so heavy, so constricting that it’s starting to hurt physically. Is it really worth it harboring all this anger and pain? For conjuring up these theories in your head that will make you push him further away?

You shake your head to yourself and look up expecting to lock eyes with his, but his back is turned to you.

“Did you really mean what you said last week?” you blurt out.

Jungkook jumps in surprise and whips his body to face you, doe eyes wide. He looks surprised but he also looks relieved, and your heart breaks a little more seeing the relief cross his face the moment you talk to him.

He starts playing with the hem of his shirt absentmindedly. “I did,” he mumbles. “I mean every word I said, and I’m really sorry that everything had to turn out this way when I could’ve just been brave and confessed all those years ago.”

You nod your head at his words and process what he just said. Deep down you know you believe him, but it’s hard to keep that in mind when the hurt outweighs the truth. You look up at him with a sad smile on your face. “Why now, Kook? After all these years.”

He sighs and leans on the chair in front of him. You notice his shoulders deflate and his back hunch a little. He looks tired and you feel your own tiredness in your bones as well. “I was just scared. Us being friends was so comfortable and so good… I was just scared of things changing and me losing you.”

You bite your lip to stop yourself from crying. Looking to the side of the room to avoid his stare, you whisper, “And I know—” you choke on your words and clench your hands in frustration. “And I know I’m at fault as well—for assuming and pulling away once you got together with her. I had no right because we’re just…friends.”

It’s quiet save for the printer and his feet shuffling on the floor. You turn towards him to see Jungkook slowly walking to where you’re sat. Once he’s standing in front of you, he raises his hands towards your face but stops midway. Like he’s about to hold you but he’s hesitant.

You’re tilting your head to look up at him, eyes shiny with tears but lip turned upwards in a small smile. It’s ok, you mouth, because you don’t trust yourself to speak right now. You watch Jungkook hold your face in his hands, thumbs going behind your ears to rub at your skin slowly, fingers splayed on your cheeks to wipe your tears away.

He gathers your face in his hands, thumbs gently brushing the tears streaming down your cheeks. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispers shakily. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m so, so sorry.”

You nod your head absentmindedly, heart squeezing at the affectionate way he talks to you.

“I really am sorry,” he repeats. “I… Yeah, we’re just friends but I’d like to believe that we both just know. That you felt my love the same I’ve been feeling yours ever since. Even though we’re just friends. But…I know better now.”

You look at him confusingly and he looks away from you and smiles, his cheeks turning a light shade of red. You watch in silence as he plays with his lip piercing distractedly. Finally, he turns to you still with that smile on his face. His thumb starts playing with your lower lip but he’s looking at you with so much adoration in his eyes.

You’ve seen this look on him before, every time you’re with him, and now do you only realize that it’s a look full of love, desire, yearning.

“It’s scary if we do become something more and I end up losing you,” he starts, “but I’d rather live a life of at least knowing what it feels like to love you and be loved by you, than doing nothing at all.”

Tears are streaming down your face but you’re smiling so wide and Jungkook’s doing the same as well, with his nose even scrunching up and his dimples showing.

“I think it’s normal to feel scared,” you finally reply. “But I’d also rather live a life of us loving together than loving from afar.”

It’s silent for a moment as you and Jungkook stare at each other. He’s wiping off your tears which makes him cry a little more, so you wipe his tears next. You’re both crying now but with happy smiles on your faces and it prompts you both to laugh.

“We were kinda stupid, huh?” Jungkook says in between giggles.

You nod and giggle back. “A bit silly, yeah.”

“Can I kiss you?” he suddenly asks. Your heart starts racing and your palms get clammy. You start feeling nervous but it’s the good kind, finally getting to do something you’ve been anticipating, been waiting for ever since you realized your heart belonged to your best friend.

“Please,” you whisper.

Jungkook wastes no times in leaning forward, his grip on your cheeks tightening just a bit, pulling you upwards to meet his lips. Your lips finally touch and it steals your breath away. Quite literally.

Jungkook’s lips are soft, slots perfectly right in between yours. He kisses how he holds you—gentle and careful. Your heart skips a beat when you feel his tongue, and you grant his wish by opening your lips just slightly.

There are no fireworks or sparks or anything grand like that. Your heart suddenly feels calm and at ease. Like this is what you’re meant to do. It feels like coming home for the first time where everything feels right. You feel a great weight lift off your shoulders and you know you’ve made the right decision by choosing love.

Jungkook pulls back but only slightly so he can catch his breath. He keeps his forehead pressed against yours and when he speaks, you feel his lips move.

“I love you,” he whispers, and the way he looks at you with his eyes, like it holds so much love and adoration and it’s all for you. “Wish I said it sooner but I don’t want to think about that. Don’t want to live and continue on with regrets. I’m so happy to have you like this,” he whispers shakily. “So lucky to be able to love you like this.”

You kiss him again which causes him to smile so wide that his dimples pop out. “I love you too.” You giggle again. Saying it is so freeing and it feels so normal too. Not some grand epiphany or realization. Like you’ve known ever since. Like your heart has felt this way throughout your years of friendship with Jungkook and only now are you able to verbalize it. You know you’re lucky, too, to be able to have him in this way. But you don’t want to give too much credit to luck. You believe yours and Jungkook’s love were destined ever since.

[chickenkurage]

Hey wouldn't it be funny if teen!Alan did end up introducing the sticks to his mom after talking to teen!cs!Alan and being told he could ask for money from Vic? So he does end up asking and then offers to introduce him to his mom and Vic agrees. Alan has to try to explain their backstory to his mom in the least worrying way possible while revealing the fact that there are sentient stick figures on his computer and that there's a stick figure society.

teen!Alan after getting permission from the sticks to introduce them to his mom: *nervously* hey mom, there's something I've been meaning to tell you.

Jennifer: alright?

teen!Alan: it has to do with the computer. I'll show you. *brings her the computer in his room where the sticks are waiting to meet her*

Jennifer: ... What?

teen!Alan: so the four with the hollow head shape are ones that I created. The first one is Vic, I created years ago. Right before the power shut down on my birthday... He went to a place called the outernet where there's a stick figure society. Ended up creating a powerful company and even managing to amass some human currency *intentionally ommiting why he did that*. Until recently I thought he'd died back then, but we've reconnected now. He wants to help us.

Jennifer: *stunned*

LMAOOOO THAT MAKES EARNING MONEY EASIER I GUESS XDD

Man, don't we all want a stickman that can provide us money, huh? But good for T!Alan for trusting his mom enough to introduce her to his digital stick family :)) Although, Jennifer might need to sit down for a while and listen to her son explain - JM

[gaycrittercentral]

Im curious and new to the fandom what are Sam and max's personalitys I don't understand them really much but I like the characters! Do you have any tips to help..? A easier way to understand their dynamic

Oh hi welcome to the fandom bud!! :D hmmmm let’s see, how can I summarize these two dumbasses…well, the show bible is a fantastic place to start if you’d like to hear from the creator himself! There’s a lot of really interesting stuff in there, including a page or two that goes into detail about both of their personalities. Really neat stuff!

But let’s see, if I had to summarize them…well, I guess I’d put it under a cut cause I’m gonna ramble a bit lol

I guess I’d say that they’re just a couple of lunatics who enjoy doling out their slanted version of justice and accompanying it with their constant banter. They’ve been best friends and partners in crime ever since they were children (and in fact still have tons of baby photos framed around their office lmaooo) and it shows. They’re often described as having their own language, and they have incredible physical comfort with each other, with Sam frequently seizing Max to fling him at people or use him like a weapon (Max likes this, notably) and Max occasionally using his partner like a cat tree. And while they like to poke fun at and do slapstick on each other frequently, it’s clear that they’re incredibly close and really care for each other. Also they’re gay as fuck lmaooooo canon just doesn’t know it

Ooh here’s something I think gets misinterpreted a lot! Sam is not as reasonable and moral as he might seem. He just looks that way in comparison to Max, but he is honestly just as deranged in a lot of ways. He just hides it behind his carefree cadence and friendly smile lmao. It’s the kind of thing where if you ignore what he’s actually saying, he sounds calm and friendly and nice, but then you tune back in and realize he’s suggesting they wrap Max in tinfoil and stick him in a microwave for fun, or casually threatening some bizarre form of violence against something. I think it’s best summarized by this meme lmaooo

That said, he is still the more reasonable of the two of them, and probably the only one capable of feeling guilt or shame. It’s just that hanging out with Max kind of obliterates any chance of those feelings sinking in for long.

Oh and for Max, one thing I think is good to remember is that despite his frequent zero braincell behavior, he does in fact have a decent amount of intelligence. Which is kind of frightening, actually. He’s not as verbose as Sam, or at least doesn’t like to be, but he’s got smarts enough to make witty jokes and concoct his own plans and whatnot. He’s just also a goblin who likes clobbering people with flyswatters and would totally eat pizza off the floor lmao.

Conversely, Max isn’t exactly as deadly as he claims to be, either. Like, he’s still an absolute terror, but I think it’s important to remember that all one really has to do to keep him at bay is push his head away lmaoooo he arms too dang short

Ok but that’s all a bit in the weeds, so let’s see…basically, Sam is a cheerful goof who would really like to be a cool film noir detective, but is too busy having fun to keep up a serious facade for long. And Max is an irrepressible scamp who just likes to cause trouble and get into fights and wander around aimlessly. Sam does have his own weird sense of justice that he wants to uphold, but Max is kinda just happy to be along for the ride, and both of them are really only fighting crime and solving cases because it’s fun for them. And they’re a little codependent. Lmao.

Ooh, y’know what else has some really great analyses of these guys across different incarnations of the series? @h-worksrambles’s excellent discussions of their voices! Here’s the one they wrote on Max and his voice actors over time, and here’s the one on Sam. There’s a bit in the latter one where they talk about how Sam has a sort of shallowly-hidden temper that tends to burst forth on occasion, which I had never really given a lot of thought to but that I feel has deepened my understanding and enjoyment of his character! Definitely check those out, they’re a great read. :>

[putyourhanddownmy]

Hey! Dick pic anon again... wait no, that's the worst title ever. We'll workshop it. But yes, if you have enough thoughts to make it into an entire post, I'd love to hear about it!

lmaoooo hello!!!

FIRST OFF. CONSENT. DONT SEND ONE IF THEY DIDNT FUCKING ASK.

this is like an amalgamation of stuff i've heard, read, what i like receiving and what i do NOT like getting etc etc, some links and some resources! hope this helps at least one person lmao!

first off, a few main points about what people like getting, and what they don't, and then some resources that can help you.

right! personally, there’s a few things I believe can help. a mirror can do great things, but a full length mirror or a bathroom mirror, not a smaller one you’ve propped up somewhere. some people say don’t use mirrors at all but I think they’re good because you can hide your face with your phone if you’d like, easier to get your whole body in it, strategically cover places-except you need to be careful what is in the background. this stands for every dick pic you take, if nothing else REMEMBER TO CHECK THE BACKGROUND OF YOUR PHOTO. bathroom mirror selfie? great, can we see your toilet? are there smears and smudges on the mirror? have you got a grimy towel hanging in the background? full length mirror in your bedroom? have you got socks on the floor in the reflection? can we see dirty laundry and tissues and stuff shoved under your bed??

if you’ve figured out the background-essentially make it as neutral or tidy as possible-great! doing good already!!!!!!

okay, another thing is that your dick should not take up the whole screen. general rule of thumb I read somewhere, it should be about a third of the photo or less. if you’re lying in bed holding it up straight and take a photo a few inches away, no. nope. we’re trying to figure out what it is, which part is your hand and which part is dick, what angle have you taken it at, and to be honest if you’re that close it’s more likely your feet are more in focus in the background than your cock is. an out of focus dick and in focus boxers around your ankles and bare feet will not turn anyone on.

think about all the nudes you see on here, which ones turn you on the most? would you rather get more of those blurry grimy toilet in the background dick pics that’s popped up in your inbox, or would you like one of the tasteful, proportioned nudes where you can see the position they’re in, a little of the background, imagine how they’re lying in bed? when you see pretty nudes and lewds that women post on here, they’re in focus right? they’re taken in good, pleasing lighting, you can see they’ve taken care with what position they’re modelling in, what can you see of their background? is is grimy and messy? are the sheets gross and rucked up, or are they artfully mussed so it looks like they’ve just woken up?

I don’t know how well I’m explaining this, but maybe this will help. any photo you’ve seen of tits, pussy, ass, on here-could you imagine yourself in the scene? could you picture yourself having just woken up and having that view? sharing the shower with that person? the aim of a dick pic is less to just show someone what you have, more to help them imagine what they could be doing.

if you can’t get it right, nothing is helping you, you’re at a complete loss-look for other dick pics and copy them. there’s a subreddit that’s dedicated to dick pics, go there, find a dick that looks like yours and copy it. do what they do. scroll here and snag some ideas. @ brutally-gentlemen and @ furrymasculinenude have thousands and thousand of pictures of nude men, copy one of them.

otherwise, there’s countless guides online as well.

instagram, @ sarahaugenphotography is a personal favourite. she does guides you can pay for but she does lots and lots of little quick videos on anonymous ass photos, dick pics, lewds, masculine positions, mirror photos, dad bods, hiding the belly, hiding your face etc etc. go have a look at her videos, seriously

google “how to take a good dick pic”. really. and then pick a guide that is written by a woman or says “that women will like” or something.

bottom line, put some fucking thought into it. I don’t just want a close up of your cock, slightly out of focus and so close I can see the wrinkles on your balls. think about the scene you’re setting with it. is it what she’ll see when she wakes up next to you? when you bring her breakfast in the morning? have you just gotten out of the shower? think about it.

if you’re unsure, don’t send one. half the time we like a lewd anyway, if you’re not certain or you don’t think we’ll like it, a tease is best. towel around your waist pulled down just enough to see a happy trail or the base of your dick? a bulge through your underwear? the outline through some sweats??? fuck yes

I don’t know if any of that made sense at all, feel free to add anything, those are just my thoughts!!!!!!!

[izvmimi]

cw: space odyssey au. inspired by the game haven! a little hurt/comfort a/n: probably will be part of a series if i ever get the time to write it lmaoooo

it's 2am and you can't sleep.

at least it would be midnight if you were still on regular soil, governed by your usual suns. you'd like to think you should continue to manage the flow of time with the numbers of your digital clock, but you'll land at your new forever home just hours from now, and who knows what waking and resting hours will be then.

the whirring of the ship is easier to hear at this time, although your friend insisted that this was a particularly fancy vessel the six of you manage to steal, nearly silent compared to similar vehicles of its size. it can accommodate many more than just six, perhaps a dozen people really, especially since you've paired off and share single rooms for the purposes of closeness (really lovemaking), however the extra rooms have been repurposed into many other things, including a small laboratory, a library, and a greenhouse, and a room just for tinkering on the engineers' in your party's request. you wonder if instead of sitting in the kitchen, looking forlorn in front of a bowl of reconstituted milk and dry cereal, you should instead check on the plants and the small temperature-controlled aquarium, that way you can keep your mind off things.

you don't think you regret your decision, but you are concerned for the future.

you pass the last room down the hallway, blocking out the muffled giggling coming from bakugou and his partner's room. they had not hesitated to formulate this plan to leave the second the Matching ceremony was over. if anything, they were the strongest believers in this plan. shoto and his love had been slightly more reluctant and particularly keen on asking about the details. after all, you're not sure this planet you are escaping to even exists. you are not sure what you'll find there, and you definitely are not sure you will live in bliss forever. but they have decided to let love guide them to a future where they are free to love whom- and however.

you want to be so sure, and you are sure that you love the man who is still asleep in your bed, but the what ifs continue to disturb your peace.

man cannot subsist on love alone, you've been taught since you were very young. That's why society has left the complicated matter of sex and love and procreation and family to the algorithms set by Credo. Credo is always right. Credo knows best.

so why hasn't Credo stopped you from falling in love? why were you assigned to someone you could not even dream of loving half as much as you do Izuku?

you can't eat love, you tell yourself. and yet, as you gently trace the leaves of the small potted pepper plants that greet you first in the hot humid greenhouse, you remember the way he looked at you with joy when you came to the dock in the middle of the night just weeks ago, panting and overburdened by overpacked bags, professing your will to reject your way of life, and you are full to bursting.

perhaps if your ship crashes you won't have to ever regret your decision, you think, pleased by your own dark joke. the smile quickly turns into a laugh, and then you are crying.

you've left your family behind, even if you will be surrounded by your friends and the love of your life.

you are a fool and so is everyone on this ship hurtling towards an uncharted planet.

even though you cannot subsist on love alone, love wakes to find you, sees you in tears on your knees in the dark of the night and crouches down behind you and holds you close.

love whispers into your ear that you'll be fine and wipes away your tears.

love thanks you for having the strength to follow your heart and promises to keep you safe to the best of their ability.

you turn and accept the consolation in his kisses but say nothing and he understands. you need proof that you'll make a safe landing, and proof that you have made the right choice to leave everything behind.

love carries you back to bed and holds you close until whatever awaits you in the morning comes.

[proteesiukkonen]

(This got too long for a reply box oopsiedoodle, and hey since there’s apparently a whole lot to this subject, why not collect some extra thoughts here.)

The context is I have a comic scene where a character with her left arm incapacitated is supposed to be leisurely driving in a city when there’s not that much other traffic. She’s also supposed to be rather good at driving handling a car in stupid situations, for what it’s worth. The driving isn’t the focus of the scene, so the minimum I’m looking to know is if it’s plausible enough of a scenario to handwave off as a fact. But if it would be difficult enough to make for a awkward and unpleasant ride then I guess I’d want to acknowledge that somehow in the scene. (Or if it’s more along the lines of too awkward to be even possible I’ll have to rethink the whole thing a bit lmao.) I’m guessing driving with just the right arm would make the whole thing somewhat easier since then the stick is on the right side and you don’t have to awkwardly reach over your own torso to switch gear?

And looking at other replies on the same post, it looks like it matters whether the car’s a front- or rear-wheel drive, aaaaand I think the car I’m referencing for the scene is a RWD so maybe that’s good for the overall plausibility? At least some sources I’m looking at tell me torque steer isn’t a thing for rear-wheel drives, so the car shouldn’t swerve to kingdom come during acceleration.

…Cars are so complicated for such a common thing lmaoooo.

[straycalamities]

no for real the onceler fandom when i was a huge part of it (2015/2016) was so fuckin toxic half the people left bc everyone was praising one or two blogs and acting like everyone else was dirt. it was super discouraging and i ran about 3 blogs and the only interactions i ever got was from people starting drama :(

im not sure what the askblog scene looks like today but im HOPING and PRAYING its better

eughh im sorry that sounds like absolute hell...i barely dipped my toes in because i was recovering from Stuff (stuff that took me to this year to get over enough to even make another personal blog) so i wasnt Too up-to-date with what was going on in the fandom from 2015 tooo 2019?ish? even if i popped in on entre's blog time to time, but i've heard stuff from others and friends

i think the askblog scene is A LOT more chill these days. a lot more lax and there's sooo much just...Less of everything that it makes things easier to like take in stride at least to me compared to 2012-2014 days where everything was so intense, extreme, and constant

there's still the like ghosts of the same issues that've been present since day one but its like...on a MUCH lesser scale. i honestly think it's pretty good all things considered :) the only thing that makes it rly hard for me compared to past eras is how split the fandom is uhhh app/site-wise (like its very much spread across tiktok, tumblr, twitter, discord, maybe more...idk) and so it feels like im missing out if i dont keep up everywhere LMAO and each location comes with its own issues either population-wise or site/app-wise

i miss how centralized it used to be to tumblr u_u and obviously having more content to look at back in the day, i got very spoiled on it so when i peruse the fandom content its like a lot less to look at but thats honestly GOOD FOR ME BC I HAVE NO TIME NOW LMAOOOO but its just like strange bc im like woah i dont have to scroll for an hour on entres dash anymore to catch up

well i do, but that's bc i have no time to check it on work days and so it piles up for when i do sit and take the time. cant imagine the hell i'd be in if it was 2012-era activity

ppl who had full-time jobs in the fandom in 2012 damn...i salute you.

unfortunately with a fandom as niche as this, it kinda cooks up the same issues over and over again and it makes me wish there was some sort of disclaimer that popped up as soon as you wanted to join the fandom to give you a rundown on how the culture is, who the people are, what the past drama was (so dont bring it up again), and all that LMFAO like a onceler fandom 101 that was just beamed into your device when you were like hmm what if i joined the onceler fandom LMAO

i kinda wanna do something like that specifically for askblogs? like a dos and donts. or "things i wish i knew when i started an askblog" type of thing but alas..no time. bc i see other mods go through the same obstacles/difficulties i went through and learned to either change my thinking on, or something else to either help me get past it/over it or at least cope better and id wanna pass that on if the fandoms gonna keep getting revived every two or so years and then cave in on itself from the same rehashed drama/problems it always has :sob emoji:

[desiren]

i feel like main verse evelynn is like . . . almost completely unshippable.

like personally, i don't think evelynn as a character is very shippable. she isn't soft, and that by itself is by no means like . . . a "oh they can't be shipped" trait, because i have plenty of other muses who aren't outwardly soft. the difference with evelynn though is everything that encompasses who she is and why she, at a fundamental level, cannot, and should not, be shipped (safely). and like, okay, toxic ships whateverrrrr, but again, personally i have extremely specific requirements for the type of person she'd be with. like, anyone who's just as unhinged and evil as she is. and just to throw a name out there, someone like viego, for one. there's a few more, but. ya know.

evelynn is incapable of romance. like, 99.9% incapable of romance and is definitely aromantic. she's very good at playing pretend and faking it until she makes it and gets what she wants, but she doesn't feel anything for anyone she's pretending with.

this even extends to k/da or any other modern counterpart, or just non-main au. i think there is a very SLIM possibility that she could feel and experience love, but that is very unlikely. i think the closest people she could come to experiencing love, or at least the perception of it, are kayn (in kda/heartsteel or odyssey verses, anything modern) or viego tbh. maybe a few others but i haven't thought of ships outside of kayn/eve and eve/viego.

i still say like ... the perception of it though, because i think evelynn will border on obsession and possessiveness rather than actually feeling love, and even if she does feel love, it's definitely not in the traditional sense where you feel your heart skip beats or whatever other cliche. evelynn is rarely flustered, like, if ever at all, but i think kayn could be capable of making her flustered if he somehow manages to tap into evelynn like that, because i can see her having some like ... semblance of like a "tsundere" type reaction.

that all being said, evelynn definitely has a type (re: odyssey/heartsteel kayn, viego in any verse, basically any edgy or awful person ever, for the most part, but at the least someone who's unhinged like her, or like morally gray enough to let her murders slide lmaoooo). she thinks of people as her playthings and like, usually she'll kill someone after one go or once she gets bored, but people like kayn and viego keep her constantly entertained and she's like "wow i like them i want to keep them around," but i'm not sure how deep that goes yet, because love is not an easy concept where evelynn is involved. she's not like my other muses like sivir or cherry where they're brusque and cold and afraid of attachment and are avoidant. evelynn isn't like that. she just, doesn't experience it, really. it takes a lot factors and special circumstances for it to even be possible for her, but it definitely starts with her finding an obsession with someone, so that's unhealthy to start with.

an addendum: regarding spirit blossom, that's another story, since she's supposed to be more benevolent there, but that's a different can of worms i need to open because i have thoughts about that, but shipping wouldn't be any easier in that verse either.

[okthatsgreat]

new chapter release and ask game.... you have made this so much easier for me. yet so much harder. there's so much to talk about....... ill start w the ask game bc no matter how desperately id love to talk about the recent chapter i want to collect my thoughts about it bc as of reading it i have been in such a state. 7 (if ur open to it !! if not then keep your dark secrets hidden), 41, 47, 69 (haha)

ehehehhehehe im sorry about the STATE!!! <3

7. post a snippet from a wip

omg....... okay i cant lie to you i have not started this next chapter so teeechhhnically i don't have any wips lmaoooo However. i am a woman of drama and mystery. so here is a snippet of rough dialogue from a scene that is going to happen further on down the line :) for those who dont want to be spoiled ill leave it under read more!!

41. who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

ohhhhh GODDD that's hard genuinely ive loved all of them and if not loved then liked at the least. i loved writing in mius pov just because shes so entertaining to dissect especially in lgowab, where she was in an environment that arguably (not even arguably just straight up LMFAO) brought out the worst in her. im also a big fan of makotos povs because im obsessed with how much he lies. and not even maliciously. so much of what he thinks contradicts what he says but hes still the good guy

its been a while but tenkos pov was so much fun to write from as well....... so entertaining. she has a huge personality and huge heart it was really fun to write

47. is there a trope that you’ve written before but are now sick of?

LMFAOOO ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. hm hm hm. alright i am ABSOLUTELY not saying i got sick of it i loved writing her but there was one long period of time where i was just straight up dreading writing from himikos pov when i was writing lgowab and it was literally all my fault LOL. mius povs were so high action and dramatic and tense so it was super fun to write from her side, and at this point in the story she was just getting into the enforcement team and was starting her downward spiral. and then i had himiko, who was progressing but at a pace that was a lot slower. which was fully intentional!!! like i WANTED that to happen. but i just had no idea what to write for her, because in comparison to miu's pov himiko was just so Fine if that makes sense. like obviously himiko was not doing okay mental health wise but she had a gf and friends and a pretty solid understanding of where she stood in regards to safety. miu had none of that, was spiralling out of her mind, and was actively pushing everybody away. eventually himikos story picked up and i found myself getting into her pov more but yeah ghdfjksghdjkfgh hit a bit of a wall!

don't even know what trope that classifies as WHOOPS!

69 (haha). what are your favorite fics at the moment?

favorites of mine ouughhh no clue! i like rereading run from your demons :] same with lgowab honestly. sometimes i just get reminded of a scene and i want to go back and read it again to get a better mental visual lol. but that applies to literally all of my fics so IDK!!!

in regards to other peoples fics i really do not read fanfiction that often HFDSKGHFSJDHHGKHJ ummmm i think the last one i read was the hope's peak gay straight alliance by vanadisvalentine and that one was a nice feel-good one :)

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333333

fanfiction writing game!

[lqfiles]

user lqfiles i have no idea what to call you.

see saying "hello tumblr user lqfiles" sounds ominous and it's giving sigma... god i hate that word. i have beef with the gen alpha slang, everytime i hear a reel with "what the sigma" i grow a little closer to throwing that toaster right into the bathtub. ANYWAYS, my point is that i'm going to figure out how to come up with a nickname for you. it'll come, eventually trust. i'll think of one okay. something to do with l & q idk. unless there's something else you want me to call you? ALSO NOOO IM NOT RICH. 😭😭 as i mentioned before i bought like... 3x the amount of pcs i OWNED BEFORE i went on a buying spree. so all i had was just the pcs i collected from albums that were gifts from friends... (i never thought it a good idea to spend money on this stuff for myself.) I was actually traveling abroad which was why i hadn't checked in for a bit, and the prices... were just so much cheaper!! So I decided, why not? fuck it we ball! (my life motto to everything at this point...) and i'm in a decent financially stable point in my life where i can indulge in this stuff, so i bought quite a bit... i tried to focus on buying pcs... cause storing albums in my suitcase makes it a lot heavier.

i definitely have a hand kink its not a joke anymore. IT REMINDED ME OF THIS IMAGE (idk if it's going to work if it doesn't uh.... ignore! cause i've never sent links on anon and tumblr hates making things easier for us.) https://postimg.cc/1gWC0B48 AND IDK IF YOU CAN SEE IT BUT ITS SO FUNNY I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING. they're both me

i also have no idea who louis partridge is BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT I JUST LOOKED HIM UP AND GOD DAMN. like my taste in men is obviously questionable, and like most people i did have a thing for andrew garfield and theo james... but i think i often find myself crushing on east asians half of the time, mostly because i am eastern asian myself, and it's not like on purpose cause i do find other races hot, it's just the way i grew up finding famiiarity in those faces? does that make sense idk im yapping at this point.

ALSO THE SMAU IS SO FUNNY IM CAUGHT UP NOW.... HAECHAN LITERALLY GOING THROUGH ALL STAGES OF GRIEF. HE WANTS HER SO BAD BUT ALSO THE COMPLAIN ABOUT THE WHOLE PINTREST BROWSING.... LIKE HES SO REAL AND CUTE AT THE SAME TIME I LOVE HIM. (chatgpt is too real AND THE FACT THAT y/n IS EATING IT UP IS SO FUNNY LIKE I WOULD'VE ALREADY BEEN LIKE.... why does this sound like it's written by ai...) holy fuck that's a lot i ranted a lot anyways hello, look forward to the next chapter. love you and hope u have a great day TUMBLR USER LQFILES - 🤠

hejdhskdj sometimes i’m tempted to put my name back in my about me so you guys can put a name to my account but then i remember how don’t wanna be perceived THAT much and rethink #SOZZZZ idk maybe i’ll come up with a new alias that you can start addressing me by, tho if you’re curious you can figure my name out if you find my main blog and check my tags 😭

you’re gonna hate me omgg bc except for the word sigma (cos that cringe) i unfortunately love brainrot content atm… like yess give me the skibidi toilet rizz party, give me the ohio fanum tax, GIVE ME RHE MAXIMUM AURA 😅😂 the effect of living with little boys..

FUXK IF WE BALL IS SUCH AN AMAZING LIFE MOTTO like exactly.. we are ballin.. anyways you not spending any money yourself on albums is sending me lmaooo but at least you were able to use the money you had saved to buy yourself some cheeky pcs. tbh i think pcs are the only appealing part for most part when buying an album anyways so it’s a good thing that you didn’t buy albums lmaooo

THE IMAGE IS SHOWING LMAOOOO i love this pic so bad ughhh he has such nice hands i wish i could hold his hands and play with them.. the perfect mix between girly dainty hands and manly veiny like I WANXTHU SO BAD HAECHAN

MOST PEOPLE MUST NOT INLCUDE ME… but tbh i don’t think i have a specific race i like in men, THO IM IN MY ARABIC BOYS ERA RN… idk if anyone knows slushynoobz but hamza.. i wantchu saaaur bad like GIVE ME THE YEMENI BOY.. also i don’t think it’s weird to prefer your own people!!! its something a lot of cultures have too so don’t worry about it you’re not yapping, my mum is the same 😭

LOLLLL HAECHAN EXPERIENCES THE LOSS OF HIS UNOFFICIAL GF he was probably with his head in his hands when she didn’t respond to his apex request. and ntm he tweaked the letter a bit to make it more personalised!!! a bit of ai here and there but still personal!!!!

I LOVE YOU TOOO COWBOY ANON!!!

[prynnehesters]

i finished my evil durge and im taking a break from bg3 to hopefully get a job/play other games

so like...i did redo the orin battle cuz it gave me failed durge where i didn't get bhaal's blessing and i became a failure and i was basically gonna go feral after my tadpole was removed so i just went "fuck it" and went to kill orin and got his blessing

tbh, having the slayer form made the game infinitely easier but the ending disappointed me

minthara's romance is not that exciting past the insane sex scene you get in act 1. you share some moments, but it's not as satisfying as the other two i fully did. you don't really get full on scenes. picking the origin companions is better. at least w halsin, he is poly and he doesn't feel tacked on in the end. and i did take him a few places. i should've stayed w lae'zel :((( i did get her second romance scene and that was nutso tbh

i ascended astarion and i kind of want to have a split thing in my next playthru bcuz i hear the sex scene is nuts (and you can kick him in the balls). nuts in like, halestorm lyrics lol

i also helped shadowheart w her shar stuff

and then we went to control the brain and i had like 3 summons and was able to clear the overwhelming area no problem and then deal w the brain

you get so many ways to redeem the dark urge and it's wild. like you can be awful and then get rid of your urge like nothing happened. or you can embrace it, then defy bhaal and kill yourself. you take over in bhaal's name. or you destroy the brain and then deal w bhaal, kill yourself, or sentence yourself to prison. you do not see any of the character's 6 months "where are they now". the best you get is a scene of you w orin's weapon making creepy noises and watching from afar, as you're just a monster who craves blood at this point

but like, i think the times you get to redeem durge is like, you don't kill anyone every time you are asked and just deal w orin as yourself (rip)

idk i might play resist durge in the future but im just gonna play my next lil playthru and have my goolock romance astarion and see how that goes lol

i also saw this list of romance from most explicit to most chaste and it made sense but i was kind of surprised by some. i think the order was minthara, halsin, karlach, gale, lae'zel, ascended astarion, shadowheart, astarion, and wyll. and i guess it makes sense if you take it bit by bit

minthara has her one crazy scene and then you just have a few campfire chats (and you only get the crazy scene if you're off the bat evil already and she's also under the influence of the tadpole so uh...)

halsin comes later and it's fun. imo not that crazy. but you get one. and also you can bring him w you to sleep w prostitutes

karlach you get 2 spicy scenes, but that comes after not being able to touch her. which is, well deserved

gale you get one nutso spicy scene (if you choose, it can be subdued if you want to), and then a lot of kisses

lae'zel i know you get her first fighting over who is the dom in the scenario and then you get the fight to the death but it gets tamer after that (which makes sense, as she does warm up to you). you also do have sexcapades with her

shadowheart i've heard it ends in a spicy scene (but like, wyll, wholesome spicy) and if you help her become a dark justiciar your romance kind of...ends

i know astarion starts off spicy with sexcapades and you letting him bite you during sex, but it kind of gets subdued over time bcuz he starts to trust you, until the end where i think you have freaky vampire sex if you let him ascend and less freaky vamp spawn sex if you don't (? dont quote me on that...). but tbh it makes sense w his history :(

and wyll...is wholesome and gentlemanly. he basically just gives you a few kisses and then sleeps w you at the end when he shows you around what he did when he was a kid in baldur's gate. also i've heard marrying him is cute too

idk man if this says anything, im a freak first and foremost lmaoooo (first playthru i slept w lae'zel, gale and the emperor and (almost) haarlep. second playthru i slept w karlach, halsin, the drow prostitutes, mizora (wyll disapproved), astarion briefly, and kissed wyll. evil durge just lae'zel and minthara (although surprisingly...gale tried...again. my second playthru after the druid/tiefling party everyone wanted me except astarion wyll and halsin lmaooo...although i got wyll's second romance scene in act 2 so...)

im too naughty for this lmaoo

[smireyac]

hey hey hey it's that time of year again 🎇

oh look an emoji in the title... nature is healing

so it's 9:30... 2023's been... alright, ig? like it feels like things are finally getting back to "normal", whatever that looks like right now... i stopped wearing a mask this year, long after most people ik already did (though considering SOMEONE in this house has covid right now, maybe it's time to buy more kn95s...) and i didn't feel debilitating anxiety being in a crowded indoor space so that means something, right?

once again, these last couple months haven't been so great, personally or globally, and with 2024 being an election year, the state of things feels... uncertain to say the least...

but we're here to look back, not forward (not yet anyway)! SO according to my goal list last year, did i accomplish much?

read 12 books? ✅ i read 20 actually! and not one of them was a graphic novel! ok i lied, ONE of them was a graphic novel but the rest were novel-novels! sure most of them were romance novels but that doesn't take away from the fact that i surpassed my initial goal so!! hooray 4 me 😁

write more? ✅ well, not more than last year but i think keeping up with writing anything still counts !! and i published another fic so!! hooray 4 me 😁

apply to transfer to university? ✅ hell yeah i did !!! and because I'm poor i got 4 free apps to UC and CSU schools!! i applied to UCSD, UCI, UCLA, UCSB, SDSU, CSUSM, and CSULB! i'll get responses back in mid-march/april... i don't wanna get my hopes up for anything... but i am excited to go to actual university, even if it won't be like my peers/the movies... yk bc im a transfer and i'll be 26 by the time i'm actually attending classes instead of a bright-eyed 18 year old, ready to take on the world... we'll see... i'll make this my extremely goofy movie moment if i have to lmao so!! hooray 4 me 😁

do stuff with friends? ✅ while i didn't do all the things i mentioned, most significant things i did this year were with friends!! i went to NYC with remi, and went back to little tokyo with annie and gnat so!! hooray 4 me 😁

make new friends? ✅ i did!! make at least one new friend 😊😊😊 and im very glad for it so!! hooray 4 me 😁

all major goals accomplished!!! ✅✅✅✅✅

hooray 4 me!!! 😁😁😁😁

also of the movies i mentioned that i was excited for, the only one i still haven't seen is the transformers movie lmao 😆 i will eventually

speaking of movies,,, i want to be more into movies this year 🤔 like i watched a number of awards season contenders this year and i kinda wanna be able to make my own oscar predictions this year? I'm also toying with the idea of defending my "movies of all time" list on letterboxd 🤔 (i say toying bc i literally just came up with the idea yesterday lmao) im putting this in writing bc if i don't then it makes it easier for me to not follow through on them, yk? also i have no idea what that "secret writing project" i talked about last time even was lmao

this is all related to my latest existential crisis re: what i wanna do with my life lmaoooo (when aren't i tho frfr) like going to university is the next big step in my life right? and when i tell people that i'm getting an English degree (tho i should rlly start saying literature now) the first thing they all ask is "oh do you want to be a teacher?" which is a HUGE pet peeve of mine because no!! i don't wanna be a teacher!!! that's not the only reason someone would get an English degree!! not that there's anything wrong with teaching, i just don't feel like i... have the right temperament? (tho if i'm being honest, i do have a fantasy of taking over as the film strand teacher when pike retires [but i think that's happening this coming year so that fantasy will remain a fantasy lol]) most recently, i've started saying i want to be an editor but even that feels like a commitment to something idek if I'll be able to achieve (am i commitmentphobic? more at 11) so like !! then what ??? i could try to go further up in the library ? go for a leadership position ??? its stable it has health insurance and a pension... smart things to keep, things i shouldn't disregard frfr i could have a CAREER with the library... but at the same time, i'm like... do i wanna get stuck here? like me and brenden were talking once about how long some of the people working at the library has been there and how most of them are tired and burnt out and

like what if i want to do something else?

my initial plan was to stick with the city for 10 years so i could qualify for the pension and they i might be able to do smthg else with my life while having that pension for later on and who knows? maybe i'd feel like coming back to library when i'm older and wiser??? since i've been here 5 years i thought i just needed 5 more TURNS OUT the 10 years only counts when you became BENEFITED and it only COUNTS YOUR WORKING TIME so even tho i've been here 5 years, im only like 8 months into this pension bullshit bc i got benefits a year and a halfish ago and IM ONLY HALF TIME!!!!!!

[sigh]

so idk!! shit's weird and idk what im doing!! i'm gonna go to school for literature and see what happens while i'm there; i hope i won't have to quit my job but i also wonder what it would be like to go to school full-time, like god intended... i've also considered master's and doctorates but like i feel like i shouldn't worry about that until i at least get through the bachelor's lmao 😆

i could go on (and i might tmrw tbh) but it's also 2am and i haven't even gotten to my goals this year

SO GOALS:

🎇 so first things first: we're keeping up the reading goal! we'll raise the stakes to 20 books since i know i can do that now

🎇 other goal related to reading: i want to read some non-fiction books this year; specific items include kitchen confidential, what we don't talk about when we talk about fat, and any/all of the miami history books i've checked out from the library b4

🎇 ik that my life will get very busy when i get to university so I'm hesitant to have a lot of stuff "to do" but i thought about trying to learn a new skill, specifically blender? bc im obsessed with bigtop burger lmao bc idk i still love animation and it just sounds fun!!

🎇 watch more movies? to do the awards szn thing? like im gonna try for the golden globes in fIVE DAYS? SHIT... well if not the globes then the oscars for sure but man... here's a secret career dream hidden in a goal: film critic? i think that's cool but like what does that even mean for me lmao ANYWAY WATCH MOVIES

i just wanna see where life takes me this year

maybe i'll figure some shit out along the way lol

happy new year babes 💖🍾🥂🎆

EDIT: I HAVE MORE GOALS I MIGHT WANT TO SET

🎇 make a content ? oooo scary ik we hate the word content but i feel like im finally confident enough in myself that i don't feel the excuse "im not good enough" is valid anymore? And sien has been asking to for forever and i think i was supposed to help her do it for her birthday ?? So ive been LACKING lmao

🎇 DM a DnD sesh frfr you've been wanting to for years but u always chicken out bc ur scared well ur reblog all those posts do it scared right? DO IT

🎇 go out to events ? like the poetry reading u were invited to and like u see those posts on insta so like maybe go to them? andMAYBEtrythatspeeddatingtypething???MAYBE.....

[callsignspark]

jordan this was such a lovely installment in their story!! I adore these two so much and the love they share is so special and wonderful. and hearing your thoughts as you worked on this was amazing, I love the process you go through! I loved this so much, more below 🩷

Having multiple people, let alone multiple people who loved him more than anything in the world, waiting for him when he got home from a deployment, no matter how brief or long, was definitely a newer experience for Bradley. - the first line already has me 🥺 him being even more excited to see his dad and his girl than usual because he’s not used to homecomings like this?? and he counted the emails??? 😭😭😭

all Bradley had wanted for the last thirteen years was for Maverick to be there when he got home // he’d unabashedly cried from behind his sunglasses when he saw Maverick, Penny, and Amelia waiting for him - THAT’S HIS FAMILY!!!!!

He'd known you were taking a half day to pick him up and you looked so soft and lovely in your off-duty clothes - the outfits always hit and Bradley going all gooey because she’s wearing his shirt makes me so soft!!

This - this is what he had been missing for the last three months. Home. Home. Home. Bradley was home. With you. And holding you. - SHE’S HIS HOME. HE’S HER HOME. they just make me so warm and fuzzy inside 🥺

Nothing compared to kissing you again after three months. // There was so much genuine love and longing in you - in him - that Bradley already dreaded when he’d leave you again. Because there would always be another time. At least until he broke the cycle. // (Don’t ever be a rocket man. Promise me you won’t be like me.) - god this section just makes me so happy and sad at the same time. they’re so excited to be together again but Bradley is already thinking about having to leave. and the implication that one day he may never return creates that pit in his stomach. but him being so determined to always come back - to break the cycle - with the rocketman line running through his head just makes me want to cry!!

His wonderful girl. His sweet girl. His smart girl. His, his, his, his - we’ve thoroughly discussed the repeating possessiveness they both have but god it never fails to get me. they’re just so in love and internally in sync with their thoughts that it’s impossible to miss that these two were made for each other. truly a soulmates in every universe situation.

And a vanilla soft serve with chocolate jimmies sounded like absolute heaven right now. - a man after my own heart this is my order verbatim

Bradley’s stride momentarily faltered. Right, he forgot about that - your little lunch dates with Maverick. - LMAO her little crush and his little jealousy make me hollering every single time it’s just so fucking funny!!! I can see the grumpy look on his face and he’s just so huffy about it!!!

Otherwise known both as the smallest car in the world and Bradley’s inheritance. - I love that he knows the car will be his one day!!! like that’s so sweet because they’ve defined talked about it and as much as he hates the discussion he loves that he and Mav are in a place where they are talking about things that like. future things 🥺 (also the visual of him crammed in the back has me on the floor lmaoooo)

Originally, Bradley had wanted to get you some frilly old thing, dainty and cute and proper if only to feed some long repressed kink of his. But the denim apron was practical and you would get use out of it for plenty more years to come. - I love this for many reasons, but the main one is it shows how deeply he feels about her? like we know he loves her and cares about her. we know how horny he gets for her (evidenced by his barely contained housewife kink) but the thought process behind buying the practical item - and being so pleased when she actually loves it because she’s particular - and having it accompany something that he knew would make their time apart easier on her is just so thoughtful. he knew it would be hard and he did everything he could think of to help her while he was thousands of miles away.

He hadn’t even considered going into the living room, not when you were in the kitchen. - I love that the only acceptable distance from her was to shower and then he decided he wasn’t leaving her side. I can practically see the puppy dog eyes when she suggested it even though he listened to her lol

“- Because this is it,” he interrupted. Because you and I are it. // “Yeah. Because this is it,” you returned, equally as resolute. “So…” - this whole section makes me soft. her being so brave to broach the subject even though she’s so nervous about it. and Bradley’s initial reaction to be afraid that she’s found someone else is heartbreaking. but this exchange, them both being so firm and decisive about being it for each other just makes me know it’s going to be okay. they love each other and it will work out, no matter what.

It wasn’t proper, it was embarrassing for you and me and I was just missing you so much and in such a different way that I’ve never experienced before when you’d been gone and - I couldn’t bear not telling you for another moment. - this part actually makes me tear up. her insecurities getting to her and the feeling that she’s doing something wrong - something not proper (AND HER USE OF PROPER HERE VS. BRADLEY’S EARLIER USE OF PROPER WHEN HE’S THINKING ABOUT GETTING HER A SLUTTY APRON MAKES ME INSANE. THE JUXTAPOSITION OF IT. MY GOD.) and being so upset about it that she’s berating herself while trying to explain makes me so sad oh my god

“But I wrote back. I wrote back and told you everything I wanted you to hear and what you needed to hear. And god, I’d do it again, I’d do it in a heartbeat if it brought you comfort and I probably should’ve done it sooner.” - Bradley’s reassurance is everything here. the gentle but firm tone he uses, leaving no room for argument. and the statement that he should have done it sooner to let her know that he knows her and he’ll take care of her even better in the future!! and his no nonsense, practical approach of making a plan and doing research is just the sweetest thing!!! it’s loving and caring and exactly what she needs.

You stiffened slightly, but welcomed his touch, if only for a moment before you pulled back from him. - this makes my heart hurt knowing all the reasons for her reaction and all the things following. just pain pain pain.

Where you’re Rooster and not my Bradley? - jordan I am now crying because this hurts so much. I can see their faces and it HURTS

“Kid, I got six more years and then I’m all yours.” He could feel your tears seeping into his shirt as you cried. “It’s like what I said after you sent me that story - I don’t want our kids chasing ghosts. Not like I did.” // “I want us to have what my mom and I didn’t. And it’s not that my mom wasn’t enough, but there was always a piece missing for both of us - Maverick, too.” You wiped the tears away from his eyes. “I love you, so, so much, kid. You know I’m gonna marry you. And I just want to be yours when it comes time for us to have a family.” - this truly has me blubbering because I can feel the pain from Bradley and the fear in their chests at the possibility of losing him. and thinking about Carole without Nick for all those years and Mav missing his best friend and Bradley without his dad. it’s just so many emotions and him knowing that she’s it - telling her that he’s gonna marry her and they’ll have a family - it’s just so beautiful and painful at the same time.

Bradley wasn’t dying in an F18 with a family at home. - him repeating this to himself makes me nauseous. the anxiety and fear that this man deals with makes my heart ACHE.

This could be his life every night. You could be together like this forever. - and then just like that everything is better (for now). I love that they were able to discuss things and feel better and now they can enjoy his homecoming without that cloud over them.

His pretty little housewife. Mrs Bradshaw. Bent over the kitchen island, wearing nothing but a frilly white apron and a pearl necklace as he fucked you from behind - Bradley Bradshaw you dirty boy

“You ass.” The words lacked any heat. - I love these normal moments and the domesticity of it all. eating together, chatting and teasing each other. it’s just so sweet.

“Wait, that’s so cool, I’ll have to read up on it more! I definitely remember hearing about it on the news, should’ve made the connection.” - one of my favorite things about her is that she’s always so supportive and excited to hear about what he’s been doing despite her feelings about the military (same girl, same) and all the questions and excitement makes me so happy that it worked out after that (potentially disastrous) first date where he didn’t say all the things about his job up front!!

He was a little dubious since you loved chocolate cake, but took your words at face value. - this whole build up. pain. agony. more pain. gonna fight you.

This was where you’d watch movies together at night, where you’d open Christmas presents, where you’d ride him after a long day at work, where you’d have meals with the news on in the background, where your kids would watch TV. - 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Bradley smiled at the sight of you already appearing so at home in his house - your house and headed upstairs. - this made me smile SO big!!! IT’S THEIR HOUSE NOW!!! THEIRS!!!!

And it was so warm and comfy and his stomach was full and everything smelled so good and he was here. Finally, he was here with you. - I love him being so happy and comfy and how he’s just listening to her existing downstairs and it’s just making him even happier. dreaming about their life together and how excited he is for it. I adore these two!!!

(now if only Bradley didn’t fall asleep)

rocketman: part ii - from the back of the cab

Summary: in which lieutenant commander bradshaw finally returns stateside for just about the best damn homecoming he's ever had. it's been three months of countless emails and facetime calls between the two of you, but what awaits you both now that bradley's back? and what does it mean for your relationship going forward? [read part i here]

OR a homecoming 159 emails in the making

Pairing: Rooster x Fem!Reader 10k

Warnings: 18+, explicit language, suggestive dialogue, and suggestive content. a lot of the italic words are direct references to the emails in part i or direct quotes from the rocket man by ray bradbury (read at your own risk because if you picture bradley as the rocket man, you'll cry). the next part will pick up right where this one leaves off and hopefully won't take too long to get out!

from the back of the cab to the airport // i am happy you and i got this hour

Having multiple people, let alone multiple people who loved him more than anything in the world, waiting for him when he got home from a deployment, no matter how brief or long, was definitely a newer experience for Bradley. There was almost a giddiness about him as he said his goodbyes to Bob and Payback and the other pilots he’d flown with from Lemoore. He couldn’t wait to see you in twenty seconds after it’d felt like he’d been gone for twenty years. 

The countless (actually one-hundred and fifty-nine - he’d counted) emails between the two of you had been his saving grace these last three months. You’d emailed him almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day, much to the jealousy of his colleagues. He’d become addicted to them almost. 

How did your cooking class go? What was your day like at work? Yes, he would love to go on a trip to Mexico. No, your mom is an absolute idiot. How did you touch yourself at night? Were you being a good girl for him?

And in twenty seconds he’d have the real thing. He’d have you in his arms, hugging him, kissing him, talking a mile a minute about any and everything under the sun. 

(He knew Maverick would be there, too. He wasn’t being flippant about it or anything - all Bradley had wanted for the last thirteen years was for Maverick to be there when he got home. Last year, when he’d gotten back from three months out near Guam, he’d unabashedly cried from behind his sunglasses when he saw Maverick, Penny, and Amelia waiting for him. Amelia had even made a sign for him with terrible puns and lots of glitter. They’d had Bradley over for dinner - a family dinner - and he had felt on top of the world. Until he’d had to go back to his brand-new, empty house. Bitter with the sweet, he supposed.)

Off to his right, Bradley could see Bob and Callie hugging, and Reuben fussing over his wife’s noticeable baby bump. He smiled at the sight and the thought that he wouldn’t want to leave you while you were pregnant briefly floated through his mind. 

And then, like he had conjured you up, there you were. You hadn’t seen him yet. But Bradley could see you as you craned your neck and stretched on your tiptoes, bobbing and weaving and stretching to try and find him in the crush.

He'd known you were taking a half day to pick him up and you looked so soft and lovely in your off-duty clothes - a simple pair of cropped jeans and a pale blue oxford that he'd later realize was his. Pale blue in a sea of khaki with your sunglasses perched on the top of your head as the sun still beamed strongly onto the asphalt. 

Like something out of a movie, you turned your head and locked eyes with him. The two of you couldn't have been more than thirty feet apart and it was like everyone and everything around you had stopped - just for a moment. A blip in time. And then a smile crept across your face and your eyes lit up and the world started again.

“Bradley!”

With nary a glance back at Maverick, who Bradley had just realized was standing next to you, you ran towards Bradley and into his arms with so much force that he staggered backwards. His seabag made a solid thud on the ground as he wrapped his arms around you - one around your waist and another around the back of your neck. You burrowed your face in his neck and he couldn't resist holding you tighter, lifting you slightly so that the tips of your shoes kissed the asphalt. 

This - this is what he had been missing for the last three months. Home. Home. Home. Bradley was home. With you. And holding you. 

"Hey, kid." You tightened your hold on him at the moniker. "You miss me?"

“More than anything.” Not even a second after he put you down, your hands were running across his cheeks and neck. "Are you alright? Do you need anything? I have snacks in the car if you're hungry or -"

He cut you off with a kiss, your first kiss in three months. Thirteen weeks. Ninety-one days. Two thousand one hundred ninety-one hours. 

Bradley knew he would have a lot more of these homecomings - had even had some with you already. But he would never forget this one - his favorite homecoming. Two weeks, ten days, three days; it was nothing. Nothing compared to being in your arms again after three months apart. Nothing compared to kissing you again after three months. 

There was so much genuine love and longing in you - in him - that Bradley already dreaded when he’d leave you again. Because there would always be another time. 

At least until he broke the cycle. 

(Don’t ever be a rocket man. Promise me you won’t be like me.) 

But for now you were safe in his arms, feeling and smelling and sounding like home and god - for now that was enough. 

Your voice was similarly muffled. “Oh, bubs. I missed you so much. I can’t believe you’re finally home.”

“And I can’t believe you’re in front of me right now.” 

He wanted to touch you everywhere. Your cheeks, your hair, your shoulders, your legs, your breasts. Everywhere. There was no way he could ever get enough of you. 

You tilted your head up and smiled at him. “I love you.”

“Love you, too. Let’s go home.” The smile that lit up your face could guide Bradley home on even his darkest days. 

Before setting off, he gave you another kiss, this one just as sweet, and the two of you started making your way to the gate and by the other families milling around. It was a bit awkward balancing his arm around your shoulder with his seabag, but it was all worth it to have you tucked into his side again. You were so soft and warm and smelled so pretty. He couldn’t get over it. Everything about you felt safe and precious. 

“I can’t wait for you to see the house! I have almost everything situated, just a couple seasonal clothes and coats at my old place. I thought maybe we could go after work on Tuesday - unless you’re in a debrief or something or have other plans?”

Bradley squeezed you closer to his side. “Nah, I should be done by Monday afternoon, so Tuesday’s perfect.”

You nuzzled your face against his chest. “I can’t believe you’re home.” And then softer still, “I’m gonna keep saying it because it still doesn’t feel real.”

“Well,” Bradley steered you both away from the crush, “I’ll try my hardest to make it feel real for you later.” 

And, God, it went straight to his cock, the way you peered up at him, eyes slightly widened. You even bit your lip, cheeky thing. His seabag slipped from his grasp and he wound both arms around your waist pulling you close to him again. All he wanted to do was play out one of those cheeky little emails of ours in excruciating detail. With his girl. 

His wonderful girl. His sweet girl. His smart girl. His, his, his, his -

It was definitely verging on improper, the way he was kissing you now. But Bradley didn’t care. Not when you felt and smelled and tasted so fucking good -

“- Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw!” 

You whined against Bradley’s lips when he pulled away. It felt like he’d just gotten caught necking his girlfriend behind the bleachers by his father - and well…

Bradley cleared his throat and hoped his cheeks weren’t too red. “Captain Mitchell…”

They exchanged salutes, Maverick’s face all serious until Bradley could see him fighting a smile. There was a beat and then Bradley wrapped his arms around Mav in a tight hug. 

“Good to see you, kiddo.” 

“You too, Mav.” 

He let Bradley go to look him over much like you had. It warmed his heart to be fussed over by his dad. To have the two most important people in his life be there to pick him up and bring him home.

“Come on you two, ice cream? My treat?”

You gasped. “Now Captain Mitchell, you wouldn’t be suggesting we spoil Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw’s dinner with ice cream, would you?”

Bradley hadn’t had ice cream in weeks. And a vanilla soft serve with chocolate jimmies sounded like absolute heaven right now. But as much as he wanted to have ice cream with you and Maverick like he was celebrating a little league baseball win, Bradley wanted to go home with you even more. He would see Mav during the week while you were at the office. 

Right now, he just wanted to go home with his girl.

“Nah, I think we’re gonna head home. But I’ll take a raincheck for Monday?”

Mav nodded. “Sounds good to me, I’ll bring the car round then?”

“Sounds good, thanks!” you chirped.

Wait, what? Before Bradley could even question him, Maverick was off towards the parking lot - leaving you in his direct line of fire. 

Which, to be fair, you did look contrite. “Pete thought it would be easier if he drove, especially with all the people around…”

And was Bradley really going to be mad at Maverick for caring too much? For wanting to spend time with his kid after he got home from a three month deployment? No. Not even at the expense of a twenty minute car ride home alone with you. 

“I should’ve told you earlier he was driving, sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” You both started making your way to the gate again. “Probably gave him an excuse to take the rest of the afternoon off, too.”

You giggled. “I asked if he wanted to get lunch beforehand, but he said he was wrapping something up.”

Bradley’s stride momentarily faltered. Right, he forgot about that - your little lunch dates with Maverick. Was it a little annoying and did it make him irrationally jealous? Sure. But it was also oddly sweet. There were a lot worse things than having your girlfriend genuinely like hanging out with your dad. Plus, Bradley’s didn’t think you really knew you had a crush on him.

“I’m sure you two had plenty of time to catch up while I was gone, but now you’re all mine, kid.”

You wrapped your hands around his upper arm and gave it a squeeze. With a few nods at his fellow aviators and other assorted crew members, you two made it through the gate and to the parking lot where Maverick was waiting in his 1962 Ferrari 250 GTE. 

Otherwise known both as the smallest car in the world and Bradley’s inheritance. 

The car was in really good shape and drove like a dream. But it was very much not designed for a 6’1” naval aviator - especially when one was relegated to the back seat. Because Bradley didn’t want you to be in the back seat alone and you had refused to sit in the front. 

So, now his knees were up to his shoulders and you two were separated by an armrest because the damn Italians hated fun and had foregone a bench seat. 

Though this did not stop you from laying a cheeky hand on his knee, inching it higher and higher up his thigh as you crossed the Coronado Bridge. You glanced over at Bradley and winked, stopping yourself from getting higher by holding his hand instead. 

It was never a long drive back to his - your house, but today it seemed to fly by ever faster. Maverick was unusually chatty in the front seat, asking about your upcoming trip and if you needed a ride to the airport on Thursday morning, while also telling Bradley about the newly renovated ready room on base. 

The chatter petered off into the background as Bradley suddenly zeroed in on the song playing on the radio - Everlasting Love. He found himself mouthing the lyrics. 

Need you by my side, girl you’ll be my bride 

You’ll never be denied everlasting love 

That was you. That was you and him. Everlasting love. 

He squeezed your hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss. And while you and Maverick chatted and told Bradley some of the more lighter happenings of the last three months - mainly the raccoon garage saga - he was counting down the minutes till it was just you and him. Peace and quiet with his everlasting love.

Which was really everything he could ever want. 

------------------

After a long shower with all his favorite products and even some new ones you had brought over, Bradley made his way downstairs and was greeted with the unfairly adorable sight of you chopping potatoes at the kitchen island. There was music playing, candles lit, and the smell of something delicious coming from the kitchen. He smiled, seeing you wearing the apron he’d picked out for you all those months ago and was relieved to see that it looked broken in from wear. Because, to be honest, it was nearly impossible to pick out clothes for you.

Originally, Bradley had wanted to get you some frilly old thing, dainty and cute and proper if only to feed some long repressed kink of his. But the denim apron was practical and you would get use out of it for plenty more years to come. 

And he could always get you another one for special occasions. Because he had had a lot of time to think about all those special occasions with you while he was away…

A beautiful smile lit up your face as you saw him pad down the stairs. “My, my, don't you look cozy?”

Once his socked-feet were firmly on the hardwood floor, Bradley spun on his heels showing off his comfy joggers and plain, grey t-shirt. “Do I pass muster?” He pressed a kiss to the cheek you tilted up for him. 

“I’ll think you’ll do, bubs.” He pulled you in for a hug from behind. “Mmmmm, you smell so good.”

He swayed you back and forth in his arms. “I should, I used all your shampoo…” 

“Cheeky boy.” You craned your neck and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “You want a drink while I make dinner? You can lay on the couch for a bit if you want? You must be exhausted.”

“Oh?” He hadn’t even considered going into the living room, not when you were in the kitchen. “Uhhh, sure, yeah. I’ll take a drink.”

You smiled and pulled back from him. “Old fashioned?” He nodded. You got out a rocks glass from the cabinet and went over to the bar cart in the dining room for the whiskey and bitters. “I got those fancy bitters at that liquor store you like.”

“Did you take care of everything?” He said it to hide his own reddened cheeks, but you appeared equally as bashful.

“Tried too.”

“You gonna have one, too?” 

You nodded. “Yeah, but we’re also having wine with dinner, so just one for now - here you go. Got to start you off slow, Bradshaw.” You slid the glass over to him and held your own out to toast. “To your long awaited homecoming.”

Your eyes locked over the rim of your glasses and you had both barely set them back down on the table before Bradley pressed a kiss to your lips. You tasted like sugar and whiskey and felt like home. 

“Missed you, kid.”

“Missed you, too, rocketman. You have no idea how happy I am that you’re home.” You kissed him again. “Now, you gotta let me finish cooking. The table’s already set, so there’s nothing for you to do, but relax.”

“Fine, fine,” he heaved out a great sigh, “banishing me already and I’ve only been home for a few hours, I see how it is - owww!” You smacked his ass with a dishtowel. “Alright, I’m going, I’m going.”

The living room looked nearly identical to how it had when Bradley had left in December - minus the Christmas tree, of course - but there were still little touches of you everywhere. The pillows were arranged far nicer than Bradley had ever been able to manage and there were three new candles of differing heights on the coffee table. Plus, the cream colored cashmere blanket from your apartment that he always stole was artfully strewn across the back of one of the leather sofas. 

With one glance back towards you in the kitchen - you were completely focused on some Russet potatoes - Bradley flopped onto the couch and tucked himself under the blanket. It was warm and cozy and so comfortable under there in his couch clothes in the house you two shared. Quiet, too, even with some Van Morrison playing from the kitchen. It was the kind of quiet that could lull Bradley to a peaceful sleep, especially after having been ensconced in constant noise for the last three months.

And he tried for half an hour - he really did. He thought of how excited you were to show him the perfectly organized closet and how you’d put all the little bits and bobs you’d gotten for him over the last three months in the guest room for him to look over at his leisure and how he’d corrected you on where the mail should go. 

It was just - it was too quiet and too perfect and too comfy and he just wanted to be with you. Even if it meant sitting on one of the uncomfortable kitchen barstools. 

You shook your head, but smiled as he approached. “You don’t have to watch me, you must be exhausted?”

Bradley shrugged. “Just wanna be near you, kid.” Were you nervous about cooking? Was that why you didn’t want him in the kitchen with you? He backtracked. “If that’s alright?”

You bit your lip and gestured for Bradley to sit at the island in front of you. There were a couple mise en place bowls laying around, but you quickly made room for Bradley and his drink. 

“It’s like a taping of the Barefoot Contessa.”

You chuckled. “Let’s just hope the food’s as good as Ina’s.”

“Walk me through it.”

With a teasing smile on your face, you went back to mincing the garlic - with a glowing comment from Bradley on your newly acquired knife skills - and he just sat there, chin propped up on his hand watching you explain the next couple steps. You even got a yes, chef out of him when you asked him to turn the music down. The roasted potatoes smelled absolutely divine cooking in the oven and you had just finished snipping the ends off the asparagus when your demeanor suddenly changed. You fiddled with your apron tie and abruptly turned around to face him, looking almost surprised by the action, though you wouldn’t exactly look him in the eye.

“Actually, now that you’re here - or here at the table,” you huffed out a laugh, “there’s something I want to talk to you about that happened while you were gone - no, that’s not - something I was thinking about while you were gone?”

You put the burner down on the sauce pan, leaving the minced garlic to simmer before you were facing Bradley yet again. You looked nervous, unsure of yourself, as you played with the bracelet he had gotten you for Christmas. Had something happened while he was gone that you hadn’t told him about? Were you sick? Hurt? Was there someone - no, no, you’d never.

Bradley leaned back in his chair and hoped he sounded surer than he felt. “Sure, uhh, yeah, go ahead.”

“It actually has to do with some emails I sent you - last week, in particular. One of them is actually that email.” You looked down at the granite countertop as Bradley tried to think of which email would constitute italics. “But I also want to talk about one of the other emails, when I messaged you about that dream I had and kind of how that all falls into everything that we’ve been going through and probably will be going through -”

“- Because this is it,” he interrupted. Because you and I are it.

“Yeah. Because this is it,” you returned, equally as resolute. “So…”

Bradley sat up straighter in his chair and cleared his throat. “Which one do you want to talk about first?”

You fiddled with your apron bow. “Maybe the one from the thirteenth?”

“Which one was that?”

Now you definitely were avoiding looking at him. Your words came out slowly, like you dreaded saying them and Bradley had a sudden inkling that he knew exactly which email you were referencing. 

“The one about me needing you. Needing you to take care of me,” you whispered the last part.

He could feel his cheeks coloring. “Oh. Right, yeah.” 

Bradley had never received an email like that before. Had never even received a text like that before. It was just so raw and almost animalistic the way your need for him jumped off the page.

nothing soothes the ache inside me like you do. need you to call me good girl, pretty girl, sweet girl, anything as long as it’s yours.

“I shouldn’t have sent that one to you - especially since if I could’ve waited five more days, none of this would’ve happened. It’s just - I needed you so badly and wanted you - ugh, no! No, I shouldn’t have sent you that email. It wasn’t proper, it was embarrassing for you and me and I was just missing you so much and in such a different way that I’ve never experienced before when you’d been gone and - I couldn’t bear not telling you for another moment. Because no one was there to tell me what to do or -”

You threw your hands out and put them on the top of your head. God, it looked like you were about to cry. And it broke Bradley’s heart. He pushed his barstool back from the island and padded over towards you. 

“Come ‘ere, kid.” 

You let out a sigh and your eyes were swimming with tears as you fell into Bradley’s arms. You felt small in his arms - not necessarily in the physical sense, but like you were folding in on yourself. He needed to take care of you - take you, take you, take you - 

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, whenever you want, it’s fine.” Bradley pressed a kiss to your forehead and squeezed you tighter. You held on to him tightly, which muffled your next words. 

“I’ve never had someone who I need in that way. And it’s not even necessarily about the sex, itself. I could go months without having sex - had before I met you. It was never something I really needed to get by, I guess? I could take care of it on my own. 

“But then - then I met you and you just? You make me need you - make me crave you, you tell me what to do, make me want to please you. And then you just leave for three months and I have to learn how to do all that on my own and it was just so hard? It felt like I dropped? Like everything caught up to me after all those months and weeks and I felt scared and lonely and needy and desperate for you and for you to tell me I’m a good girl and take care of me and be my d - be dominant with me.”

Your breathing quickened as you talked and Bradley felt you getting more worked up. He rubbed his hands across your back, hoping it would soothe the ache inside of you, if only a little bit. “Shh, shh, it’s okay, kid.”

i need you i need you i need you i need you bradley bradley bradley bradley

You sniffled. “I guess I just didn’t think - I mean, I knew other people would see it - and I did think that was kind of hot, especially when you called me out for it - it was only after, when I’d realized what I’d done that I saw how embarrassing it was for you. 

“Like Joe from Comms being like hey, did you know Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw’s girlfriend is a horny, pathetic, subby mess for him? You gotta see it, man. She couldn’t even make it three months without getting fucked. He can’t even take care of his g -”

“- Stop it.” Bradley grabbed your chin. “You know that’s not true.” 

“Maybe.” You shrugged. “But I was already feeling shitty about my mom and being so busy at work and how I loo -” you broke off and Bradley desperately wanted you to finish the thought. “I guess it all caught up to me.”

“But I wrote back. I wrote back and told you everything I wanted you to hear and what you needed to hear. And god, I’d do it again, I’d do it in a heartbeat if it brought you comfort and I probably should’ve done it sooner.” 

nothing stretches me out like you do, nothing makes me feel as small as you do, nothing makes me flush like the sound of your voice against my neck as i come, nothing soothes the ache inside me like you do

You squeezed your arms around his stomach and breathed him in. God, he loved you so much, he’d say anything and do anything to make you realize that. 

“I needed it, what you wrote me, and I needed to tell you what I said, but I should’ve waited so, I’m sorry, can you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive, kid. You message me when you need me, no matter how.” He kissed your temple. “I know we’ve never really talked about how that part of our relationship would work while I was gone, so maybe next time we just make a plan?”

You nodded. “I’d like that. I know it’s not like that all the time between us, so I didn’t even think of it before you left.”

“I hadn’t either,” he confessed.

Long distance d/s relationship reddit would be Bradley’s best friend over the next few days. Neither of you would have to go through that again, not if he had something to say about it. The whole idea of not being allowed to use anything besides your fingers to masturbate was a good start, but it was just that - a start. Because like you’d said, you two weren’t in that dynamic all the time, but you both needed it. It was new for both of you. You’d just have to come up with a list together. 

But just to give you a little encouragement in the meantime…

“And let’s not forget…” You peered up at him. “You did tell me you read my email seven times…”

You giggled and shoved his shoulder. “Might’ve been an understatement.”

“Oh?”

“I think I came three times that first night alone.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmmhm.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and played with the ends of his hair. “‘Kept picturing you in your bunk writing it while fisting your cock. And then I was laying next to you in your bunk - and it had to be a secret. I had to keep quiet - just like at Thanksgiving - and not make a peep.”

“But you don’t like to be quiet…” 

He crowded you against the island and rolled his hips against yours. The thin fabric of his joggers did little to hide how much he desired you, especially after the conversation you’d just had. 

His subby little girlfriend. God, he couldn’t wait to take you apart bit by bit later. 

Now say thank you Bradley. Good girl. 

Though, that’s not to say that you couldn’t partake in a little preview now. Bradley’s lips crashed against yours, caught up in the furor and headiness of it all, and your body melted against his. Three months later and you still responded so well to him. Your breathy little sighs as he bit your lip and pressed countless kisses along your jawline and neck sounded like heaven. You smelled so sweet, tasted so sweet, felt so sweet - he kissed you again, coaxing your mouth back open.

“Bradley, bubs, I -” you gasped against his lips, “I need to turn the stove off if we’re going to -”

Without taking his lips off yours, Bradley reached behind his back and turned off the gas burner. The garlic still sizzled in the pan, but now without the risk of burning the house down. You could put fresh garlic on later, now he just wanted you. 

His hands went back to their place on your hips before the left slid underneath your oxford and up your body. You stiffened slightly, but welcomed his touch, if only for a moment before you pulled back from him. 

“We have to - I have to finish dinner.” He nodded, albeit reluctantly. You pecked his lips again. 

There was something deeply erotic about waiting - even if it was just for a couple of hours. 

Where are you going to have me first?

In our bed, in our house, after you make me dinner in our kitchen. 

Bradley cleared his throat. “You said you wanted to talk about another email? The one about your dream, right? The one with our kid.”

It felt right saying it - our kid. 

God, Bradley, I wish you were here right now so you could hold me and tell me you loved me because I just want to feel your arms around me and know you’re real. I want to tell you about the little boy - the perfect mix of me and you

“We can wait until dinner - or even after dinner, if you want?” You didn’t give him a chance to respond. “I’m sorry I’m dropping all this on you. I know you’ll say otherwise, but I shouldn’t have done this right when you came home - the dryer hasn’t even finished your first load yet. I know you’re exhausted and definitely have your own stuff to work through after being gone and we should be having sex on the floor or over the arm of the couch, not listening to me blubber -”

Bradley shook his head and interrupted you. He didn’t want to give you another moment to doubt yourself. 

“- Hey, hey. I wanna talk about the heavy stuff with you, it’s okay. And I’d rather we do it now so we can really enjoy these next few days together - and maybe then have sex on the floor and over the arm of the couch. I don’t want this hanging over your head, kid. 

“And you’re not alone in thinking about that over the last few months - it’s probably been even longer for me…”

You wiped at the tears pooling in your eyes. “Really?” 

“You know you’re it for me, kid.” Have been since our fourth date went unsaid. “So, come on, walk me through it.”

You leaned against the back counter near the stove, while Bradley mirrored you against the island. You sighed. 

“I love you so much - sometimes I’m scared that I love you this much and that it’s not quite been a year since we met. And I never thought I’d be so heart achingly in love with someone in the Navy, of all things, and just - sometimes it hits me that you’re not even fully mine? That a part of you will always want to be in the sky or out at sea because you have this other entity that tells you what to do? And when to do it and what to wear and how you should act? Where you’re Rooster and not my Bradley?”

Bradley frowned at the use of his callsign coming from your lips. It didn’t feel right, it didn’t sound right. He didn’t want to be Rooster around you. He liked that he didn’t have to be Rooster around you.

“And it makes me absolutely crazy because you love it and you’re not going to stop - and you shouldn’t stop, not for me! But, god, Bradley, sometimes I want to shake you and hold you down and beg you to stay. Like that fucking story.” You wiped your eyes. 

“It’s all I wanted to tell you when I had that dream. About how I want you to come home so badly. I want you to stay here with me forever and never leave and to have that cute little boy who was the perfect mix of me and you and to have you here in my arms every night. And I know it’s selfish of me to ask or even make you think about it, but I want you right here. I don’t want you looking at the sky when you’re here and wanting to be up there. And I know you don’t either, Bradley. You give everything to everyone, you don’t do things by halves.” 

You both stood there, Bradley stunned by your words, and you, seemingly stunned that you’d actually said them. He took a step towards you, but didn’t cross that final barrier to touch you. He remembered highlighting a particular passage from the story in his response back to you and how he never wanted you to feel the same way as Lily. He didn’t want to let it - flying, the Navy, all of it get a hold of him.

“Don’t ever be a Rocket Man.” I stopped. “I mean it,” he said. “Because when you’re out there you want to be here, and when you’re here you want to be out there. Don’t start that. Don’t let it get hold of you.” “But-“ “You don’t know what it is. Every time I’m out there I think, If I ever get back to Earth I’ll stay there; I’ll never go out again. But I go out, and I guess I’ll always go out.”

You sniffled and wiped your eyes on your sleeve. “And I was so scared when you didn’t get back to me right away. Thought I’d scared you off…” You glanced down at the floor and played with your bracelet. It looked so fragile and dainty on your wrist. “I think I wrote five different responses to you after - deleted all of them.”

Bradley nudged your foot with his own and got you to look up at him. Even though it felt like his tattoo was burning into his skin - xxxix, xxxix, xxxix, the number ran through his head constantly as of late - he tried to put on a brave face. Everything you were saying was what he had been mulling over for the last three months. Thousands of miles apart and you both were still so in-sync. He cleared his throat before speaking. 

“You turned my life on its head when you sent me that story.” Even weeks later, he was still in disbelief. “And I know it wouldn’t have changed anything - not really - but I kept - I keep wondering how my dad would’ve reacted to it? Or my mom? I don’t think it would’ve made anything different, but just knowing about it? Because I don’t want us to have kids and still be a ‘rocket man.’ I don’t want them - that little boy in your dream - to wonder if I want to be up in the sky more than I want to be with him. And be with you. I want to be around, I want to be their dad and your husband. I love it, I love flying. But I don’t love it more than being with you and having a family with you. I don’t want to die in an F18 with a family at home.”

You let out a sob and he wrapped his arms around you and slowly swayed you from side to side. “Kid, I got six more years and then I’m all yours.” He could feel your tears seeping into his shirt as you cried. “It’s like what I said after you sent me that story - I don’t want our kids chasing ghosts. Not like I did.”

“You’d give us your wild?” you whispered. 

Bradley nodded and felt his own eyes welling up. “I want us to have what my mom and I didn’t. And it’s not that my mom wasn’t enough, but there was always a piece missing for both of us - Maverick, too.” You wiped the tears away from his eyes. “I love you, so, so much, kid. You know I’m gonna marry you. And I just want to be yours when it comes time for us to have a family.”

Honestly, it was a relief that you’d brought all this up. It only reaffirmed the thought that had been bouncing around Bradley’s head lately.

You two wouldn’t have kids until he was out of the Navy. 

There were six years until Bradley could put in his twenty years and retire. It was a little fucked, honestly, and he was sure his therapist would have plenty to say about it. But why not avoid something that could end in tragedy for everyone involved?

Why run the risk?

Bradley wasn’t dying in an F18 with a family at home.  

And he knew his logic wasn’t exactly sound. It didn’t entirely make sense even to himself. There would be plenty of times over the next six years where he could get into an accident or not come home from a mission. He understood that. 

Except, currently, there wasn’t a kid waiting at home for him. There wasn’t a three year old Bradley waiting at home and being told by his mom that his dad wasn’t coming home. He knew that if you had a family, it would be harder for you to move on if something happened to him. And he didn’t want to put you and any future little nuggets through that. He didn’t want to be a rocketman with them.

Bradley wasn’t dying in an F18 with a family at home. 

He wasn’t going to do that to your family. So, why not just wait to have a family until after he got out of the Navy? It seemed obvious. Perfectly so. The words had been ready to pour out of his mouth, except you beat him to it.

“I know,” your cleared the scratchiness out of your throat, “we talked about waiting to have kids until a couple years after we get married, but if you want to wait until you retire, we’ll do it. And then we’ll get all of you. I want to do everything with you, Bradley.”

Give you my wild, give you a child.

Bradley wrapped you up in his arms and squeezed you hard. “I love you, I love you, I love you. God, I love you so much.” He kissed your forehead and cheeks and lips and tried his damndest to pour all the love he had for you into it.

“I love you, too, Bradley,” you said simply. 

And maybe it wasn’t exactly healthy to wait and almost be consumed by this desperate need to control both your lives and have a countdown clock to when everything would be okay. Because maybe things wouldn’t be okay in six years? And maybe you and Bradley would get in a car accident tomorrow or maybe you both would have trouble having kids or or or…

But Bradley wasn’t dying in an F18 with a family at home.  

He would need to talk about this with his therapist at some point. The therapist the Navy gave him eighteen months ago after he ‘recklessly’ went back to save Maverick. The therapist that he just never stopped seeing even though he was cleared from last April. 

“We’re a bit of a mess, aren’t we?” Bradley asked after a moment.

You pulled back. “Maybe? And maybe it’s a little extreme for both of us to think like that, but we’ll make it work, okay? However we have to, we’ll make it work for us.” You punctuated your words with a quick kiss over his heart. 

“Oh dear,” you said suddenly. Bradley tensed up. “I got tears on your shirt.” 

He chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, I know you can afford to get me a new one.” You shoved his shoulder and you both laughed. And just like that, the mood was lifted. 

Bradley had been right earlier - he felt lighter. You looked lighter. And that wasn’t to say that you’d looked gloomy or upset or scared before, but your shoulders weren’t as tense and you kept smiling, at him, at whatever you were cooking, at nothing.

This could be his life every night. You could be together like this forever. Cooking dinner side by side, talking about where the mail should go (it very much was not on the hall table, that was for damn sure), complaining about Mr. Harrington next door or arguing over who should vacuum. All the little things that made that big life together. The one you both wanted so badly. 

And contrary to your earlier statement, you did make you and Bradley another drink before dinner. In fact, it probably was what gave you the courage to attempt to flip the chicken in the saucepan like a regular José Andrés. (Even more surprising was the fact that you didn’t drop any.)

Once the potatoes finished, you swapped them in the oven for the asparagus, hoping the former would cool while the latter was roasting. All the while, you talked Bradley through everything - how much oil you added to the asparagus, where you’d gotten the potatoes, and the recipe for the chocolate cake you’d made for dessert. 

It was - well, Bradley didn’t really have a word for what it was. His first thought was how nice it was seeing you so confident and capable and proud of yourself. But his second thought was that it was also oddly stirring seeing you do all this for him while he just watched. 

Watched his pretty little girlfriend bopping around the kitchen, bopping around the house making sure everything was perfect for him. All you needed was a pretty little dress and a string of pearls to match your earrings. His pretty little housewife. Mrs Bradshaw. Bent over the kitchen island, wearing nothing but a frilly white apron and a pearl necklace as he fucked you from behind -

“All set!” Your cheerful voice interrupted Bradley’s fantasy before it could really start. He had zoned out while you’d been prattling on about the herb cutting scissors you wanted to get at Crate & Barrel. “Shall we?”

Bradley readjusted himself before getting up from his seat and helping you bring the drinks and serving dishes into the dining room. 

Mrs Bradshaw.

-----------------

“So, how is it?” you asked once the food had been served and the wine had been poured. You had your chin propped up on your fist as you watched Bradley take the first few, slow bites of food. 

It was good. It was more than good, it was excellent. It was hot and perfectly seasoned and all the textures were just right. And it wasn’t just because he’d been on an aircraft carrier, eating out of the officer’s mess everyday. Because the food was actually pretty good on the carrier and the Aussies had even treated him to a couple meals. 

But he wouldn’t be Bradley and you wouldn’t be you if he didn’t mess with you a little. He tilted his head back and forth, trying to look like he was mulling it over. “It’s good…”

You nudged his foot under the table once you saw the smile threatening to break out on his face. “You ass.” The words lacked any heat.

Bradley took another bite of potatoes before speaking. “It’s really good, kid, seriously. You killed it. Seemed like you really enjoyed it, too.”

“I did,” you nodded, “I just always used to be so nervous I’d undercook something and make everyone sick, you know? Or that people would be lying to me about the food and that it was burnt or under-seasoned or something? But those lessons really helped and made me more confident, which is exactly why you gave them to me, so thank you.”

Maybe it wasn’t exactly why he had given them to you, but…

“You’re very welcome.”

Dinner continued on with only light hearted conversation after that. What Reuben and Bob were planning for their leave (Reuben and his wife were going up the coast for a mini-break and then building out the nursery for their baby, while Bob was going home to see his parents), the work you had to finish up before your trip, and what you both were hoping to get out of your vacation (good food, a tan, reading plenty of books, and having copious amounts of sex). 

All the while, Bradley had another helping of everything, except the potatoes, of which he had two additional helpings - you refrained from seconds entirely. You two must have sat at the table for over two and a half hours, talking and eating and laughing. It was perfect. Bradley helped you bring the dishes back into the kitchen; both of you were more than happy to deal with them a little later. 

And then there was the dessert. The chocolate cake looked heavenly - Ina’s recipe, of course - and you asked Bradley if he wanted an espresso martini to wash it down.

“What? ‘You trying to get me drunk?” 

You put your hand over your heart. “I would never! Though, I know your tolerance might be a little shot. Did that affect your stamina, too?”

“Ha, ha, ha hilarious.” He took the cake plate and knife from you while you went over to the bar to make the martinis. “I’ll have you know that the Aussies were very accommodating hosts.”

“The Aussies, huh?”

Bradley shrugged. It wouldn’t be an issue to tell you now, not after he’d been dying to mention it for the past few weeks. “It’s not classified or anything, they just don’t like us talking about it in the moment.”

“Wait,” you came back into the dinning room with a coupe half filled in your right hand. “Did you go to Australia?” 

“Possibly…” You shot him a look. “We do this joint training exercise with them every year. Last year was my first year.”

“That’s so cool! Did you spend much time actually on land or…” You went back to preparing the drinks and tossed your next question over your shoulder. “When was it? I think I saw something about it in the news.”

“After you got back from London. It was just a week for the actual exercise, but there were a lot of meetings in the lead up, we did a couple war-games, too. We were mainly in New South Wales with the aviators, but went up to the North Western Territory for the actual exercises.”

Last year, Bradley hadn’t had the opportunity to really get too involved in the planning aspects and being on base - his promotion hadn’t come through yet, so he had been just a lowly lieutenant - but his elevated rank granted him that privilege this year. 

“Wait, that’s so cool, I’ll have to read up on it more! I definitely remember hearing about it on the news, should’ve made the connection.” You came back over with the drinks. “How were the other pilots? This isn’t going to be some Manchurian Candidate bullshit, is it?”

Bradley barked out a laugh. “Nah, that’ll be Bob.”

“Did it have a fun name? They always seem to!” 

Bradley took a sip of his martini. Damn it was delicious. “Exercise Talisman Sabre - R-E. You want me to cut the cake?”

You nodded. Bradley pulled the cake stand closer to his seat. The cake was stunning. The frosting was definitely homemade and the white piping on the top looked perfect. “‘You take a picture of it yet?” 

“Of the cake?”

“Gotta commemorate this, it’s gorgeous. Need one with you, too!” You smiled bashfully as Bradley snapped a couple pics with his phone and then put it face-up on the table. The picture of the two of you at your Christmas party before his deployment smiled back up at him. 

You sat back down in your chair. “Here’s hoping it tastes just as good.”

There would still be plenty of cake for leftovers, but Bradley thought the two of you deserved a little something extra tonight and measured the first piece a little bigger than he normally would. 

“Oh. You can have that one. I’ll take a smaller piece.” He went to cut another piece, slightly smaller than his. “Little smaller.” He kept scooching the knife closer and closer for your approval until it was only about a third of the size of his piece. “That’s perfect, thanks.”

You took a huge first bite of cake and Bradley did the same. “Oh, god. It’s so good,” he said. “I need the recipe so I can make this every week.” 

Your fork froze midair for a moment, before you took a slightly smaller piece this time. “I don’t know if I can handle this every week...” You chuckled. 

Bradley moaned. “But the ganache! The whipped frosting on the top! Sweetheart, it’s so good. The world cannot be deprived of its beauty.”

That got a proper laugh out of you. “‘You writing sonnets about cake now?”

“I’ll write sonnets about you, this cake, anything you want, you got me in a good mood, kid.” He licked the frosting off his fork and then went back in for the final two bites. 

“That might just be the martini talking, bubs. Here,” you slid your barely eaten plate over towards him, “you can have the rest of mine.”

Bradley frowned. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I had extra batter and made some cupcakes. Had one this morning. I’m chocolate cake’d out.” 

He was a little dubious since you loved chocolate cake, but took your words at face value. 

“But first,” you swiped some extra frosting off your plate and streaked it across Bradley’s cheek, “you got a little something on your face, bubs.”

“Oh no,” he laid it on thick, “guess you’ll have to come over here and help me clean it off.”

In a flash, you were on him - arms wrapped around his neck, legs astride his thigh. Your feet remained firmly on the ground, but Bradley wanted all your weight on him, reminding him that he was here in the house you shared and not back in his bunk on the carrier. 

“There we go.” You swiped the frosting off his cheek and sucked the excess off your finger. “My pretty boy again.”

He smiled. “You say that like you haven’t wanted to fuck me since we got home.”

Your jaw dropped at his words. “I’m trying to draw out the anticipation!” Bradley squeezed your hips and you shifted your weight on his thigh. This time your words came out quieter. “Thought you wanted me in our bed the first time back?” You pressed light kisses across his neck and jawline until you nipped at his ear. “The same bed I’ve been getting myself off in every night since I brought my stuff over.”

“But just like I asked, right? Just your fingers?” You nodded. “Good girl.”

You ducked your head at the praise and then pulled yourself even closer to him before capturing his lips in a deep kiss. You tasted like espresso and chocolate and Bradley wanted to take you right there on the dining room table with little regard for the state of his stem and dish-ware. Slowly, you rocked your body on his lap and let out a breathy gasp against his lips. The seam on your jeans must have been driving you absolutely crazy, but you didn’t let up. And, frankly, Bradley didn’t want you to - all he wanted right now was to keep kissing you, keep pressing his chest against yours, keep grabbing at your hips over your shirt. Except that soon wasn’t enough. 

He slipped his hand underneath your shirt and went straight for your lace bra. He smiled against your lips. Good girl. You wore his favorite one. His hand slid lower to drag his fingers across the soft skin of your stomach and side. God, you were so warm. So soft. But he couldn’t linger on the spot for too long after you pushed his hand away and gestured for him to get up.

Without separating yourselves for too long, you and Bradley made your way from making out on his dining table chair to making out on the couch. You were on your back, half wedged between the back cushion, and entirely under Bradley’s bulk. 

God, had he missed this. Touching you, kissing you, holding you, fucking you. You’d already talked for hours, now he wanted to kiss you for them. 

The couch felt ten times more inviting with you now than it had earlier in the evening when it had just been Bradley. Because now he had you underneath him with your head on the throw pillows he had made note of earlier, now the candles on the coffee table were lit and were the perfect complement to your perfume, and now the cashmere blanket he had always loved was half draped over you both.

This was where you’d watch movies together at night, where you’d open Christmas presents, where you’d ride him after a long day at work, where you’d have meals with the news on in the background, where your kids would watch TV. 

“I love you,” you rasped against his lips. “I love you so much.”

“Love you, love you, love you,” he repeated.

It could have been twenty minutes or an hour later, but now the two of you were just laying side by side on the couch. You were wrapped in Bradley’s arms, nestled against his chest, where you had been pressing little kisses against his neck for the last five minutes. Occasionally, you’d play with the ends of his hair or drag your finger across the scars on his neck. 

Bradley pressed a light kiss to your temple. “This has been really nice, thank you. I’ve never had someone to come home to - not like this.”

You tilted your head up and bit your lip, looking adorably flustered. “I always want to be here when you come home. And I wanted to do something nice for you, make you happy.”

“You made me very happy, always do.”

“Always, huh?” you teased. You kissed his neck. Nipped at his neck. 

Bradley mimicked your tone. “Well, not when I saw the way you put the mail on the hall table…” 

“You gonna punish me?” There was a little glint in your eyes as you said it.

While the idea had plenty of merit, Bradley didn’t want that tonight, he wanted everything to be soft and slow, so he could really get his fill of you. Plus, you’d be so fucking tight for him, so responsive to his touch, he wanted to make that drag out as long as possible. He wanted you to babble, he wanted you to beg.

“Not tonight, but maybe tomorrow if you’re good for me?” He pinched your side and you let out a giggle and then suddenly sat up on the couch, almost startled.

“I should do the dishes, don’t want to leave them for too long. You can head upstairs, though.” You cupped his cheek and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“You sure you don’t need any help?” he said the last word through a yawn. 

“Nope!” You smiled over your shoulder and headed off to the kitchen. “You’re off the hook. I’m gonna finish putting these in the dishwasher and lock-up while you go upstairs and get ready, okay?”

Bradley scrunched his nose. “Is this gonna be a normal thing? You doing all the housework? Because that’s not gonna slide, roomie.”

“Oh, so I’m just your roommate now?” you teased. You bent over the dishwasher to put some larger plates in the back. “I see how it is, Bradshaw.”

He doubled back over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your back against his chest. “Got a feeling you’re gonna be my last one,” he murmured against your neck before he pressed kisses against it. 

It was like you melted against him. God, you smelled so pretty and tasted so pretty and looked so pretty and sounded so pretty giggling. And Bradley had never felt so welcomed home before. He couldn’t wait to do this with you every night. 

“Bradley,” you sighed and turned around to face him. “The sooner you let me finish, the sooner I can come upstairs…” You pecked him on the lips. 

Upstairs. Where Bradley would take care of you. 

Take care of you. Take you. Take you take you take you -

He groaned and gave you a longer kiss. “Okay, okay, okay.” He kissed you between each word. “But this is the last time you’re getting away with this...”

“I’ll hold you to it.” You kissed him again. “Now go! Get into something comfortable, powder your nose, touch up your hair -”

“I’m going, I’m going,” he promised. “Don’t be too long, we can always do everything tomorrow morning.”

You waved him off good-naturedly and went about setting the kitchen to rights. Bradley smiled at the sight of you already appearing so at home in his house - your house and headed upstairs. With startling alacrity despite the numerous drinks he’d had and the late hour, Bradley quickly brushed his teeth, did his skincare routine, and turned down the bed for your arrival. 

Even a floor apart, he could still hear the sounds of you puttering around downstairs. If he concentrated really hard, he could imagine exactly what you were doing. 

You had just opened the silverware drawer, probably had just washed and dried something - oh right, he had noticed you used the hand-wash-only salad tongs for the asparagus. Then you opened the tupperware cabinet and got out some snapware and eventually opened the freezer, putting the leftover chicken piccata away for another meal. Then there was the sound of the cake plate on the granite countertop and more snapware. He was still surprised you hadn’t eaten much cake, much of any of the food really, but chalked it up to nerves or excitement at his homecoming.

With a sigh, Bradley laid back against the fluffy pillows lining the headboard. God, he had missed this. His high thread count sheets, your fancy Laundress detergent, his side of the bed - and more importantly, you being on the other side. He stretched and let out a groan, getting comfortable. 

This was perfect. He was home - in the house you now shared. You were going to come upstairs - probably in some cute little outfit - and give him a proper welcome home. Bradley bet you even got a new matching set just for the occasion. The two of you had gotten all the tough conversations out of the way - for the most part - so now you could really enjoy these next few days together before your trip. 

And Bradley was so excited to go to Punta Mita with you. You had done such an amazing job planning everything. He had done some additional research on his flight home earlier and definitely wanted to hit up the spa and maybe sneak in a round of golf over the ten day trip. Plus, you definitely had the cutest fucking outfits planned. He always liked that, imagining what you were wearing while he was gone. The sporadic pictures hadn’t been enough. You always looked so pretty and he always needed to tell you. 

Pretty, pretty, pretty. His pretty girlfriend. Downstairs, making sure everything was all set. He yawned. Mmmmm, he hoped you’d be upstairs soon. His eyelids were getting heavy. 

And it was so warm and comfy and his stomach was full and everything smelled so good and he was here. 

Finally, he was here with you. 

In your house, talking about your future. 

Maybe if he just closed his eyes for a few minutes. Maybe if he just took a quick nap…

a/n - sorry for the cliff hanger, but it's the PERFECT spot for a break! next part will have that first night back AND the lead up to their trip, which will be in the final part! couldn't have gotten this done without all the encouraging messages and texts over the last few weeks - special shout out to @sometimesanalice @callsignspark @notroosterbradshaw @ofstoriesandstardust @cherrycola27 @heartsofminds and @greenorangevioletgrass xxjordan

[lululawrence]

How about 24, 14 and 30?

hiiii sorry i didn't answer earlier, i fell asleep before i got it haha but i can answer now before i finally make my fic list for the month... like three days late oops so ANYWAY thank you for sending these in!!

how was your day today?

i'm answering for today instead of yesterday hahaha today was pretty good! more chill than i originally expected because of a last minute change in plans, so it was nice. the toddler was his usual terror self and i didn't get my sunday afternoon nap that is basically a requirement, but that's alright cause overall it wasn't a bad day haha

any cleaning or organizing life hacks?

oof listen this one has had me thinking. all my cleaning and organizing life hacks are more like adhd and autism life hacks lmaoooo so i'm not so sure they would be helpful for like anyone other than ME. ummm i guess my big one is make your planner a happy place for you to be because you'll have more incentive to use it that way lol mine is covered in stickers that are mostly fan art or lyrics or things that make me happy like flowers or quotes that remind me i'm not a failure hahahahah and it's lots of bright colors so when i open it up to the upcoming week and see all five million appointments and things i have to do even though i'm on year four of total burnout at this point, i don't have a panic attack. the bright colors and flowers and our boys rewire my brain to focus on that instead so my emotions are kept a lot more even and i can then still be productive in looking at the schedule which is super helpful for me haha for cleaning, the two biggest things that have helped me is one: it doesn't have to be done perfectly every time, so just do the best you can and at least it's that much better than it was before. and two: break up the big bads in your life so you don't have to do it all at once. for example, i HATE the bathroom. not because i find it super disgusting or whatever, but because it usually takes more effort for me to scrub the tub or the sink and honestly when i was younger i didn't ever know if i was cleaning them correctly or not. i was essentially guessing and was always too embarrassed to ask for help because the few times i did try to do that, i didn't actually get answers that helped me at all. the answers were kind of lackadaisical and general and would probably make sense to a neurotypical, but to my undiagnosed AuDHD brain, i was LOST man. and like, i'm 38 now, i've finally figured that shit out at least for myself, but even though it's a lot easier now and i know what to do, it still has a lot of negative feelings associated so my executive dysfunction basically says, "yeah nope" when it's time to do it and fucks off hahaha SO what i do is i have different tasks in the bathroom on different days. for example, tuesday is toilet day. dunno why, it just works well having toilets on tuesdays. wednesday is sinks, thursday is mirrors, and friday is the tub. saturday is for if i missed any of those days, then i catch up. or it's april and i just don't clean the bathroom. months like that happen, and we still survive. lol which is actually tip three. you'll still survive even if your plans don't work, so pick yourself up and try again. maybe it'll stick this time!

how do you feel about this weekend?

as in the weekend we just had or the weekend coming up? lollllll the weekend we just had? overall it was an alright one. it was longer than i feel like they usually feel for a lot of reasons, and it was weird because there was a lot of stuff that just wasn't really quite at the usual for us, but yeah not bad! haha kinda glad it's over while also not all that excited about the upcoming week, if that makes sense haha but that's also kinda my life right now so oh well lol

that got long i'm so sorry hahaha hope you at least kind of enjoyed the answers? lol thank you for asking!!!

if you want the link to the post these came from, it's here!

[faeriejones]

hey!!! deimos here :)

i hope you're having amazing holidays!

first of all, id like to apologize for not being so active these past weeks. they've been way busier than i expected and i wish i'd had more time to chat with you. however i do hope we'll become friends even though we didn't talk as much as i expected :)

now, about your last response to my ask:

i loved back to the future! i've watched the three films but its been a few years since i've watched them, so i cant quite remember exactly what happens. (but i do remember i liked them a lot!)

i prefer icarly mainly because i watched it more than victorious when i was a kid (i dont really know why......i just know it was easier for me to watch icarly????????). my favourite icarly episodes are any episodes where spencer has tons of screen time. i really like those where they go to japan as well! and spencer is definitely my favourite character. spencer and gibby – they are THE best!

speaking of nostalgia, i've recently started playing club penguin again. i grew up playing it, got really sad when it ended and now i'm back at it (obviously not playing the original BUT its still cool)

it really was amazing. i'm curious for what's going to be the theme for next year's presentation. i think it's going to be an even nicer experience since i'll probably feel more confident :)

yes!!!!!!! make pluto a planet again!!!!!! pluto's been a planet for so long why not just let it be a planet??? it's not harming anyone!!!

lore olympus is really lovely. i hope you enjoy reading it! i don't think deimos appears at least for the parts i've read. who knows what happened after that?

again, i hope you've had/are having lovely holidays. i loved being your secret santa and i really really wish i'd had the time and energy to talk to you more often during this. but what's done is done and i really hope we'll keep chatting (you're so nice and interesting aaaaaaah!!!!!!)

have a great day :)

- lilly

hello, lilly/deimos! it’s nice to finally meet you!!! i apologize for the late response, as i’ve been busy with work and i also have a concerning tendency to stall before responding to people. so don’t even worry about giving late responses, as i completely understand how difficult it can be at times! with that being said, i hope you’ve had a wonderful holiday!

there’s this little quirk about bttf 2, which is most notably one of the most random subplots in cinematic history, where marty suddenly gets pissed off every time someone calls him ‘chicken’. it’s absolutely hilarious when you go back and watch that scene where he turns around and says, ‘nobody calls me chicken’ with a serious tone. where did this subplot come from? why is it pertinent for the movie to establish that marty doesn’t like to be referred to as a barnyard animal? i don’t know, but it’s funny as hell lmaoooo

spencer and gibby are the backbone of icarly, to be completely honest. spencer’s niche artistic expression paired in with his genuine passion for his little sister’s show is what makes him such a great character. and gibby’s eccentricities are also what makes the show so iconic even years after its final cancellation. (although, noah munck did admit that he began to feel exhausted by how fans of the show would constantly go up to him and ask him to pull off his shirt—the whole “gibbyyy” routine) it’s a shame that gibby’s anticipated spinoff show was cancelled before an official pilot was released. it would’ve been interesting to see how that character’s life would’ve progressed post-series finale. instead, we got ‘sam and cat’ ; a decent show that contained two of the most beloved characters on nickelodeon at that point in time, but a failed emulation of its predecessors

icarly tangent aside, that’s awesome that you reconnected with club penguin again! did you play any other online games that were popular at that time like petpet park, movie star planet, poptropica, ect.? (damn.. we had so many virtual games that catered to our demographic back then :( )

okay, if you receive any hints as to what’s going to be next year’s theme for your presentation, i’d love to know! it’s great to know that you’re gradually becoming more comfortable with performing in front of others!

YOU’RE RIGHT!!! pluto has never committed a single crime (besides being too short, i guess) this is a noble cause for short kings/queens worldwide : advocate for pluto’s validity as a planet!!! and hopefully, deimos makes at least a minor appearance in the most recent issues of lore olympus. he deserves more representation, poor chap :(

as i’ve said previously, don’t fret about not having sent enough asks during this event. i wholeheartedly enjoyed exchanging messages with you and hope to become good friends as we enter the new year! you’re very kind and interesting, and you’ve introduced me to media that was unfamiliar to me before. overall, you’re really cool and i anticipate that we continue to keep in touch here on tumblr :D

have an amazing day!!!