#this arc is going to stay a draft for a while but it does tie into the plot ig. clive looks a bit like arcade and neil feels weird abt it

[blueeyeswhitegirlcock]

whuh-oh! local faggot fanfic writer got too attached to a backstory love interest, now has to kill character off for the story to move on

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

So, 15x01 (abundant spoilers)

@dixseptdixhuit​ there’s something wrong with my activity page (aren’t we shocked by this unforeseen turn of events) and it ate your reply but basically - 15x01 is an introductory episode, it sets the scene for the next few episodes and the conflicts that are going to develop. Souls from hell have sprung out from the spot where they are and they need to stop them from going around the world and also save the neighboring town there some ghosts (which they had hunted before) are ghosting their way around.

Basically there are several nods to the earlier (earliest, mostly - s1 and s3 are the most obvious) seasons but it’s also kind of weird because the aesthetic, tone and even color of the show have changed so much that the nods feel like references to a different show... this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just kind of weird. If you compare it with 3x01 (which it parallels very strongly in terms of plot, it kinda has the same plot) you just realize how much the show has shifted since then... or maybe it’s just that, unlike back then, the screen isn’t 99% black so you can actually see that the show does not have a massive budget.

There are subtextual reasons for which nods are made - for instance there are multiple callbacks to episodes about children, especially dead children and guilt (the woman in white, Dead In The Water, Bloody Mary, 3x01, 3x02...) - which tie to Jack’s death and his parents’ reactions but also Dean’s and Sam’s broken childhoods, especially Dean’s, as the final “bro moment” has them recalling their childhood and how Dean took care of Sam (and still does). Even in death Jack keeps being a strong mirror for Dean...

Anyway I think that the “ghosts on the loose” problem will be fixed very soon, possibly in the next episode, because bigger threats have been hinted at (Sam’s wound from when he shot at Chuck with the special gun has Something Weird Going On, and the Cage in hell sprung open, which explains how Adam will come back, but also means that Original Flavor Michael is no longer caged... *Crowley voice* draaa~ma! But it’s clear that it’s the characters’ emotional reactions that are what drives the story, and for now we have Cas and Dean on the edge of a conflict and Sam pretending he’s fine. *shock*

Cas and Dean’s ways of grieving are pretty much incompatible and that’ll clearly drive them apart temporarily, Dean does what works from him - pushing the loss down and focusing on the practical aspects on the situation, i.e. let’s do what we need to do to survive - while Cas, who does not have the same experiences and hasn’t grown up focusing on survival, is focused on Jack’s loss and feels dismissed by Dean, while Dean feels irked by Cas dealing with the situation “incorrectly”. Obviously neither is wrong, their lives just suck. Couples splitting after the loss of a child is a very common thing in real life, anyway, so I wasn’t expecting anything different.

The new character is pretty much a gay demon (the episode does not lack in queer subtext) that obviously is not going to be their friend forever (for now he’s the Ruby that in 3x01 appears and helps them, except more flamboyant - if he stays on their side he’d just be a deus demon ex machina which is not a good narrative thing, but, hey, who knows) but his dynamic with Dean has been pretty fun despite all the angst that runs across the episode due to Jack’s loss.The episode basically sets the scene for an emotional arc for Dean and Cas and a There’s Something Wrong With Sam arc for Sam, which is, like... how Supernatural works? Next week will be a plotty episode with Rowena and Ketch that presumably will fix the ghost issue so that we can pass to the juicier things, and I expect it to be a mix of angsty faces and witty remarks...

It’s interesting that they think that God is no longer a “problem” because they think he’s just abandoned this draft of the story and just passed on to a new one, but that’s obviously... too good to be true. But that’s a problem for later in the season...

[wetookanoath]

Hi Nina! I was reading your plots page and can you please tell me about The Last Starfighter? Thank you!

Sure. Here’s my Plots page, by the way. And also, last time I talked about this fic is here, and here is its tag. I changed several things of the plot and details, and to this day I have now written three chapters of the main fic so far, lmao.

So, it’s a sci-fi story in which Earth is basically a dead planet by now and humanity sent explorers and made colonies in space long ago. There’s wars between colonies they call factions, and at some point other beings were bothered and now are at war with humans, too.

Ryan is the son of one of the high ranks of the Legion, a militar space divition that fights for humans in Earth, Mars and the Moons. He always wanted to be a Fighter, which are the combat pilots that, uhm, pilot the Starfighter’s ships.

All Fighters team up with a Navigator with who they must be compatible, like in Pacific Rim. Their minds are connected, like the drift of said movie. Together, they are the Starfighters.

Ryan has an unique 49 % Fighter, 51 % Navigator score, which gives him a chance to be both, and he is ultimately assigned as a Navigator in spite his dreams.

He is kinda bitter about this, but eventually accepts it and decides he will get better until he reaches a higher score to be a Fighter.

Shane was part of a colony in Mars, was a tech and historian for a group of archeologists and historians that tried their best to preserve human history. People called them The Scavengers, and were very poor and constantly in danger.

He had a relationship with Andrew while in Mars, they grow up together alongside Ella, Adam, Keith and Kelsey D.

He was drafted to the Legion as a punishment for trying to escape the colonies when he heard his brother had been killed.

In the Legion, he reunites with Andrew who had enlisted two years prior. 

Shane has a perfect score of 50/50 and is one of the only three people ever who has gotten such. He can fight as both, so he has been both. The last time, he was Sara’s Navigator.

Because this is fiction and shippy, Shane and Ryan are put together as Fighter and Navigator.

Ryan believes Shane is not a good Fighter. He is way too calm about things and never attacks during practice, which makes him angry and his stats start to drop because his anger blinds him.

Soon he realizes Shane does it on purpose because once he has the enemy close by, he is super aggressive in his attacks. Ryan soon discovers he is actually kind of cold, and it makes him curious about Shane.

They will eventually become friends. And more.

There’s three arcs to the main fic, which is The Last Starfighter. Arc three went through some big changes, lmao. So,

Arc 1: Getting to know each other, backstories and the war.

Ryan gets assigned to Shane’s ship, who had just finished being Navigator for Sara. At first, they don’t like each other but eventully ebcome used to each other and slowly, become friends.

Shane and Andrew keep a tension that makes Ryan more and more curious about them, their life in Mars and why Shane, in spite of seeming so calm and Ryan being told he is the sweetest, has become so cold.

When there’s an unexpected attack and the encounter is won thanks to Ryan’s plan, they gain certain fame and become heroes to the Legion. This gets them closer, and one random night, they end in each other’s pants.

Sex complicates things, especially when Ryan realizes Shane has cought feelings.

Arc 2: War becomes worse, love confessions are made and someone dies.

Ryan is worried about his relationship with Shane, but is still attracted to him. He arrives to the conclusion that their sexual relationship should end, and before he can tell this to Shane, the man confesses love and Ryan rejects him gently.

Tension grows between them, his stats start dropping again for unknown reasons and he is assigned to change pilots when Captain hears what transpired between them. Ryan is then sent to Adam, making Andrew now go to Shane. And shit gets quickly strange.

However, a new attack happens after a legion of enemy ships were put down y the Legion outside their territory. Andrew is injured, which makes Ryan pilot with Shane.

When Shane realizes they have no chance to survive unless someone stays in the ships and blows it inside enemy’s own ship, Shane ejects Ryan and sacrifices himself for the Legion.

Shane is declared dead in action, made into an icon and poster boy for the cause Ryan no longer really believes in.

Arc 3: Comebacks, families and the last stand

Ryan has become an instructor, refusing to fight anymore. It’s been almost six years since Shane died and he has come into terms with his feelings, living in the tragedy of all the time he lost for not realizing earlier that he was in love with his friend.

War has become worse, The Moons’ colonies have found independency and there’s tension between factions and Mars again, rumores of aliances between factions and the enemy are everywhere.

And then, one day out of nowhere, a little ship arrives to the Legion’s standby Starfighter Academy where Ryan and Shane once lived, and where he is an instructor now, and from it, Shane and a woman with three children, included a baby boy, get out.

Shane claims to have been found in a wreckship in a small alien planet after the explotion, no memories and a terrible head injury that has left a scar that crossed the top side of his head, forhead and eyebrow on his right side. He was taken care of by a farmer’s family who decided to not tell him he was found with the Legion’s uniform for fear of the Taskmaster, a being that haunts down Legion rangers for God knows what reason. Eventually, he recovered his memories nine months previous to his arrive, but spend five years with the family with another name, another life, that lead him into marriaging the farmer’s daughter, single mom Kelsey I. who is now the mother of his child, baby boy Alex.

All he wants is to go home, have his marriage recognized on Earth and protection for his children. The Legion, considering him a returned home war hero, allowes this and offers him high life in the Legion’s colony if he accept a diplomatic charge with them. He does.

Eventually, he reunites with Ryan and the man realizes Shane is no longer the man he loved, but it’s also still him. He has to let go a second time, it hurts all the same.

But, as tension increses everywhere, Ryan starts noticing how strange Shane and his wife acts. It doesn’t help that one day, Shane starts pushing for them to get into a ship again, claiming his wife drifts perfectly with him. For a farmer’s daughter, Keley turns out to have an almost perfect score with 49/51 Navigator/Fighter score. 

Other things:

It ends up well, I promise.

A lot of character will die and no one we know is evil. That includes Kelsey I, and her made up children. And Shane.

Endgame will be shyan yes or yes.

There’s gonna be a lot more, but like, this is just in general.

Various tie-ins oneshots and twoshots have been planned.

I’m not sure I will ever get to write all this, lmao.

I grew up loving 80s sci-fi, Star Wars and mecha anime, I’m so sorry,

[comicteaparty]

January 11th-January 17th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from January 11th, 2020 to January 17th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

What’s an unplanned idea you had through your story part way through that forced you to change things?  How did everything go?

eli [a winged tale]

After my beta feedback there were some characters that needed further fleshing out with stakes and relationships. Therefore I had to change some backstories to make certain interactions impactful. Thankfully im at the start so nothing i had to go back and fix. I did think of some alternative openings should the comic goes to print but that can be future me’s worries

snuffysam

simultaneously very little and a huge amount, lol. in terms of big story beats, they've pretty much all stayed the same since i first started planning the comic. the twists have been set up and paid off and the like. but there's a bunch of things i've improv'd at the last minute. one notable example that was pretty well-received - in book 2 chapter 4, taci has a fear of puns (basically only shown in facial expressions and a single comment from mizuki towards the end of the fight). this was added because... otherwise the fight at the end of that chapter is just a bunch of walking around in near-identical dark tunnels. the way the fight ends is fun, but the fight itself isn't really anything. with taci having a reason to be afraid of coruby, the fight has more stakes & entertainment value, and it makes coruby feel much more interesting as a character. another huge example is the love triangle in book 1 - in that in the script, it was non-existent. mizuki being into girls was originally only gonna be introduced in book 2 (guess where), and the relationship between cahe and pejiba was going to advance with no real competition (besides bullets). it was gonna be mentioned in like book 3 that she had a thing for pejiba, but nothing in book 1 itself. (similarly to the pun thing, you may notice that mizuki being into pejiba isn't referenced at all in the dialogue besides pejiba saying "i know what mizuki thinks of me" which is kinda vague. i... don't like changing scripts last-minute lol.)

Mei

Not gonna lie, everything I do is entirely unplanned. I focus a lot on improvised comedy and what feels right 'at the moment', and considering I write scripts way in advance, sometimes it leads to jokes falling flat when I read them again a few months later. Which is all fine, honestly, it's part of the process. The main unplanned idea for My Husband is a Cultist was turning it from a 12 page one-shot into a fully fledged webcomic, now with 3 chapters and more to come. It was very 'on a whim', and from that very first chapter I came up with more silly ideas. And the more I talked to friends, the more ideas I had for chapters. So the biggest change personally was going from a pure slice-of-life comedy and spending time actually building the world around it so that there was structure to the chaos. I'm still working on it all. I now have an underlying plot that I'm hoping to explore, and I have the arcs planned out way in advance. So it's wild that I went from 'random ideas spewed on a document' to 'I now have a plot and several arcs to cover'. That being said, I still come up with a lot of things on the fly, so I'm changing things constantly as I go and hoping that there aren't too many inconsistencies!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

One of the most important story elements of Phantomarine (http://www.phantomarine.com/) came up early in the second chapter, when I was asking myself some more questions about the world - and came upon a crucial opportunity. Luckily I didn’t have to change too much to make it work, and while it didn’t really change the plot, it upped the emotional stakes 100-fold. Which is just what I wanted. In this world, I have a big naval force, of which my heroine is (was?) the future leader - but with relative peace and cooperation between the different island nations, who the heck does the navy fight? Pirates? Eh, maybe. But vanilla pirates have been done to death, and while they can be awesome, I wanted to do something different. I wanted to tie them into the world’s supernatural element - while strongly avoiding the Pirates of the Caribbean cursed-buccaneer aesthetic. I decided to tie them to a particular blight that affects some of the characters - so as to up their stakes and better convey why they’re societal outcasts. And finally, I wanted to give them a freaking awesome name, something both nautical and supernatural. Thus, for those reading - the Fata Morgana. What didn’t even exist at the beginning of the second chapter is now an absolutely crucial story element, and I’m so happy they came into the picture. They’ve changed everything for the better. This is one reason why I resigned myself to revealing the world in bits and pieces - I’m revealing it to myself as I go along, too. It helps to be slow sometimes

eli [a winged tale]

The Fata Morgana introduction in the story was A W E S O M E! I’m so glad you have them in the story and looking forward to that amped up stakes!

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I think the biggest example would be the last-minute inclusion of Jonathan as a main character in my comic Dark Wings: Eryl (https://www.flowerlarkstudios.com/dark-wings-2/). I had originally planned for him to be a temporary character that we said goodbye to at the end of Chapter 5. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised the main travelling party needed another character to balance things out. I was really struggling with planning future scenes because the pool of characters felt too small. I also realised that I had developed Jonathan’s character quite a lot for him to be dropped so early. So halfway through drawing chapter 5, I rewrote the second half and he’s now a major part of the cast.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

A second example is Anor in my other comic, Children of Shadow: Ashes (https://www.flowerlarkstudios.com/cos/). He was originally written as a far less sympathetic character. In fact, he was going to be a borderline antagonist who only became sympathetic close to the end. But my characters often do things I don’t expect, and as I was planning the story, he and one of the other main characters, Rava, started falling for each other. I honestly loved this, and so I reworked the entire story to make Anor part of the main cast and much more sympathetic. He’s still a tsundere, and at the point where the story is now, still in constant friction with Rava, but I feel he’s now a much stronger character and is contributing a great deal more to the story than when he was a vaguely ominous frenemy in the original draft.

varethane

ooooo I am intrigued by this factoid about Anor

re: unplanned story elements, in Chirault..... [spoilers obviously] Ridriel and Trillia being sisters was something that hit me out of the blue about halfway through the story, and I immediately reworked a lot of things to make it happen http://chirault.sevensmith.net/(edited)

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

In ghost Junk... We actually avoided a major character death and had revised it literally a chapter before it happened!! We had everything written out right the the very end, but were seeing the readers reactions and reflected on the importance/and if it was absolutely necessary! So with that said, we saved the character, and kept the necessary impact and growth that it was to bring, and honestly- I'm so happy we did it

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@varethane Yeah, Anor’s character has evolved a LOT since the first draft.

Phu

With Blackblood, we actually created the 2nd and 3rd chapters and then thought we wanted a chapter ahead of those as sort of a prologue to give some world building and lore elements haha. Worked out well i think! https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/blackblood/list?title_no=300252(edited)

Erin Ptah (BICP 🎄 Leif & Thorn)

This is kind of the opposite, since I did the "include a new thing in the story" part first, and that's what forced me to come up with a previously-unplanned idea to explain it... In Leif & Thorn, I had a character drop a reference to "that country doesn't allow interspecies marriages" before there's any canon reference to nonhuman species that human characters might want to marry. ...and even I didn't know what that species was going to be. Had some vague idea about revealing that mermaids existed, but in my head I never managed to integrate them with the rest of the plot or the worldbuilding real well. A few months later, I finally remember that I like drawing Tiny People (not like hobbit-size, think Borrowers-size), and realize this is the perfect setting to have a Tiny People Species! Now I get to come up with plot-based excuses to draw them wherever/however I want. Plus it opens up a whole new mine of jokes: https://leifandthorn.com/comic/somethings-cooking-26-29/

Can't for the life of me remember where I got this quote from, but there's an author who, when readers would ask for details about future developments in her books, would only give answers with the disclaimer "I reserve the right to have a better idea." Words to live by.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Damn, I love that quote.

DanitheCarutor

Admittedly there isn't a whole lot I've changed, maybe a couple small things here and there, but major stuff has been the same since I started. During the very beginning of the planning phase Daniel wasn't even going to be in the story and Julian was going to be homeless, but I wasn't quite satisfied with it. The story would have been too short, contrived and the resolution didn't feel satisfying. After some brainstorming and reflection on my feelings on certain experiences I've had, I added Daniel and 'The Guide to a Healthy Relationship' as it is kinda fell into place. It's weird thinking about how important Daniel is in spite of how new a character he is. Usually it takes me a little time to build one up before throwing them into a story, they gotta age like a fine wine first, but he popped out all ready to use like one week hooch.

Not sure if it counts, but I've also made changes to future parts of my comic. Like recently, even though I know what the ending is, I put a more final image in my head on what the final frame will look like. Also I changed an event that will happen at some point revolving around Apollo and his friends. Originally something skeevy was going to happen with Brandon and Apollo involving video uploads, and a homemade contract that was signed with Apollo was drunk. I thought it was too... I dunno, stupid? impractical? So I changed it to Julian was going to (unwillingly) attend a party at Brandon's (Apollo's friend) apartment, then some big, jealousy induced fight happens where Julian gets kicked out and Apollo feels bad. I didn't like that either, felt too reaching, so I'm going with another event that is a little out there but does happen in real life and something I have done some good research on.

Gonna be as vague as possible because it's spoilers.

keii4ii

Surprising myself is pretty much every step of my writing process. For good or bad.

I do plan things in advance, but find that sometimes things aren't what they seemed from 15 chapters ago.

I think what it is is this particular comic is such a visual story. I could plan out my previous comic with far greater accuracy. That comic was more dialog-driven; you could convert it into an audio drama with minimal changes, and it would still make sense. Whereas my current comic, you can't turn it into an audio drama without very VERY extensive changes (not even sure if possible... Many silent scenes). So I need to actually draw the pages to feel it out. And I can't draw out of order. Brain just won't that way.(edited)

carcarchu

totally agree with you @keii4ii sometimes u have to actually draw it out to get a feel for it. when i write out all the dialogue for my chapters i feel like it always ends up coming out so stiff, thats why i prefer to let it flow naturally and if something happens that i didnt account for just roll with it and adjust the story accordingly

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I'm kind of weird about always needing to know exactly how many pages a chapter is going to have, so I script right down to the panel. It can create flow problems on occasion, so I wish sometimes I could plan my pages more visually, but my brain just doesn't work that way. >< It's a good thing my stories mostly rely on dialogue because they're pretty much novels in comic form.(edited)

Cronaj

When planning a scene at the end of Chapter 3 of Whispers of the Past (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366), I was having a hard time writing the dialogue. I had the images of my lead characters, Agatha and Izrekiel, talking by the docks in the moonlight, and I knew generally what they talked about, but I couldn't script it. And then, one day while walking to work, my characters straight up had the conversation in my head! And as the dialogue unraveled, the characters (mostly Izrekiel) did something completely unplanned (which I won't reveal because spoilers). This unplanned change has completely upped the drama and sexual tension for the entirety of the future story. The second event of this is in Chapter 2, where Izrekiel is helping out on Kelan's farm. Initially, there was going to be some dialogue that mostly served as world-building, but when actually writing the scene, it occurred to me that they would likely not talk too much, too absorbed by the work of harvest. And then, I suddenly visualized/heard Kelan and the other farmhands SINGING. I don't know why it popped in my head that way, but they began singing a working song. Now, I am not a musician, but I used to sing in choir and do musicals and such, and like half my family members are musicians, so I have a bit of a musical background. Anyway, all this to say that the characters started singing, and in response, Izrekiel (who has amnesia) has a flashback to some repressed memory of men marching and singing the same song, with altered lyrics. This can get extra spoilery, so I won't delve too deep into what his memory means, but.... The lyrics go as such: Oh earth, oh rain, Oh sun in the sky, You grant me with your fruit In this land. And they are directly mirrored in the flashback with: Oh strength, oh grace, I'll raise my sword, With victory in mind In this land.(edited)

Deo101

For me, I totally changed the ending! I was going to make it a tragedy, and then at some point I realized I didnt NEED to... that a story can be happy and good. So, I rewrote a ton of stuff, and actually ended up adding in some new characters! I'd say It's gone very well ^^ I'm much happier with everything now (for one, I can think about the ending without crying!!) I've changed a lot of other little things as i've gone along too. too many things to count, really.

Tuyetnhi

Initially I was writing the story timeline to 5 days but it spanned to something about a year. Which means I had a chance to develop it further than trying to rush plot points. Used to be like 3 chapters originally but now its like ....I guess 20 chapters? I don't remember the full count but lmao I'm ready to endure.(edited)

varethane

most of the biggest changes to Chirault were decided on during the first 3 years of me making it..... I completely threw out the first plan I had made, lol. There was no specific trigger for this, except maybe for 'I don't like this, actually'

keii4ii

Oh! I remembered something specific. My tiger character used to have a 'generic lean-ripped' build. Kinda like the rabbit from Juuni Taisen. Then I posted a random beach day picture, and someone (who wasn't used to seeing characters with visible leg muscles... A lot of comics they read have characters who suffer from Skipped All The Leg Days syndrome) pointed out how insanely muscular his legs were. I ran with it. Today his legs are 2x bigger than they were in that beach day pic, and it's all muscle. Also while this character stays very lean throughout the story, I as the author guarantee you that if he were to put on fat, his thighs will be the first to expand, and the most. 8)

Tuyetnhi

omg

Cronaj

@keii4ii I'm so glad for this change. Lu's legs are majestic

Capitania do Azar

Interesting replies here

In o Sarilho https://www.sarilho.net/en/, I have avoided one major character death in the first part of the story because I grow super fond of them and also because it wasn't really going to build up to anything... Which felt really unfair. So now I had to come up with narrative lines for them and I'm quite enjoying that. Furthermore, I was halfway through chapter 3 when I figured out Eurico's looks but especially his role in the story. It involved drawing a lot of trucks (and there will be more trucks in the future) but I'm really excited for him as a character

Desnik

As I was writing my comic I was trying really hard to keep the POV limited to one character, but that character doesn't have enough perspective to set up the plot very well at the beginning. This meant hopping POVs to some other characters and now I'm gently trying to squash a lot of these subplots before they go completely out of control...

[des-shinta]

I been wondering, since I don't honestly know much about what happened to Hibiki. I know of the writer changes, but not much else. How deep does this rabbit hole go? Since the only thing I know was that a lot of character assassin happened and the plot changing massively. And I was looking forward to your review, but I understand the issues of Toei and other problems.

thanks for understanding on that.  Hell, I’m still failing to get the *Old* episodes back up without Toei’s abuse of Copyright claims rearing its head. It’s…well…yeah…  The rewrites aren’t just obvious in the infamously-scrapped-and-rewritten final episode.  I covered a lot of it in the originally intended review, but…it’s basically everything and every scene.  It’s so heavily NOT Hibiki, that the Hibiki AR world in Decade has more in common with first-half hibiki than post-staff-change Hibiki does.  To many fans, Post-staff change Hibki IS the AR-world, and the series ends at the ‘seven senki’ movie as it Actually DOES tie into hibiki’s canon and the continuity problems in that movie are explained by it being Asumu’s acted-out imaginary fantasy depiction of recorded historical events he spends the film reading about.

Basically every two-part arc had that feeling of the second half being forcibly changed and thus screwing over the potential of the first half…and usually by it being Kiriya’s inclusion in things fucking it all over.  Asumu suddenly has a complex about his absentee father, is a completely spineless loser and is all his own fault for being so (as opposed to being comparable to My Hero Academia’s Izuku Midoriya in intended storyarc (I am not kidding)), and any progress on improving himself is lost–thus further delaying him actually BEGINNING his oni training until it’s the final 8 episodes because the show failed to start that When they Should have (I.E: episode 16-24).  Akira abandons everything she’s done and trained for over the course of years and ignored Ibuki in the name of quick powerups and a desire for power now because of Kiriya and a woman Oni that comes out of nowhere only to be killed in a moment of complete idiocy as she loved Zanki’s dead mentor.  Hibiki outs himself as a Coward and that being why he trains so hard, instead of a desire for self-improvement and a clear-minded sense of self  to selflessly help people which an Oni was shown to need…all so it can make how Kiriya was portrayed more reflect the ‘truth’ of Hibiki.  A Truth which, incidentally, is that of A Hypocrite, as why he drops Asumu as a disciple in the first place BEFORE the finale’s timeskip was because Asumu decided to help a friend out–KEEPING with Hibiki’s previous teachings about there being a need for ‘balance in all things’ and to not abandon your normal life to be an Oni as those connections are what support you in tough times– and Hibiki condemns him and considers him worthless for it while they’re in the midst of a situation where the barely-trained apprentices being involved would result in them straight-out being killed.  So Asumu staying out of it would’ve been a GOOD THING as then he wouldn’t be pointlessly throwing his life away in a battle he could do nothing to affect.(I Honestly think it’s this scene in specific that led to Shigeki Hosokawa exposing how badly the show and it’s cast had been treated.)And Todoroki and Ibuki…become complete oblivious Idiots.  With no explanation.Hell, the ‘training’ the Oni do becomes far more half-assed.  instead of the thorough, intense workouts and regiments the Oni previously needed to stay in shape and grow in power…their workouts consist of basic fitness training you’d do in Gym Class, while their improvements take the form of sudden powerups.And to make that last one Worse?  KIRIYA COULDN’T EVEN DO THOSE BASIC EXERCISES!  By the time He and Asumu were finally accepted to train for the job he’d shown himself as completely incapable at any physical activity, and we were supposed to then feel bad when he had to cheat at them to keep up with Asumu who was giving his all, and got caught doing so.  Then, again to show how badly Asumu was screwed over, after the timeskip in the final episode? Kiriya’s still slacking at his training but can now transform without a problem a year after training (IIRC the normal time range is in the span of about 5 years.  Akira before she suddenly out of nowhere decided to just Fucking give up at it did it in about 3 or 4), while suddenly Asumu can’t even climb a slightly inclined hill that *I* could walk up the side of with no problem, even while helping out a injured kid as Asumu was showcased in said scene…and he had to call kiriya to help him do that.  All the more galling, as in a previous episode, in the EARLIEST days of their Oni training before they did any of the strenuous stuff, Asumu had climbed a steep graveled incline in a quarry without fail, which had far less of a foothold or ability to climb than a moderately wet grassy hill.  That one was ALSO made worse, as an even earlier episode had Asumu assisting Hibki in a task, only to slip down a sleek, slippery muddy hill and need to be rescued from injury, so him climbing up the rocky incline also worked as contrast to how Asumu had supposedly grown on his own as a person from his own experiences without explicit need for supervision…and then by the series end he’s worse off than when he started.  And we’re supposed to believe it’s a good thing.No-one that was actually paying attention bought it.Hell, that’s in turn why people then got so mad when the details got out about the show’s last episode being rewritten, and simultaneously why The recent news of the Hibiki tribute arc of Zi-O got people pissed off again.  Turns out, first draft?  Asumu became an Oni and Hibiki’s successor, Kiriya was to drop out due to him not having the character to succeed at this.  Later rewrites?  Asumu’s still the successor, but Kiriya now becomes an Oni as well.  It was ONLY the version that Producer Shirakura rewrote himself that excluded Asumu from what the entire series had been building towards, all so they could cannibalize the suit made for Asumu to make *Kiriya*’s better.  yes, the one they made special order because it wasn’t originally mean to exist had to be improved, by destroying the one which was always meant to be there at the end.  Kiriya, literally and figuratively, stole Asumu’s story, relationship with Hibiki and earned reward.It’s just…It really is that nearly every damn episode after the staff change that nor only makes the show more repulsive and unappealing,but retroactively makes all the GOOD things about the first half turn bad by proximity or how they’re ‘recontextualized’ in the newer content.  Nothing and no-One escapes.  Hell, not even the villains.  Turns out, we weren’t even actually following the major antagonists at any point in the series, but clones.  What was their big deal?  No Idea, they literally didn’t care at that point.  Which personally was a big tip off that the post-staff-change writers weren’t to blame on this, as both HAVE Written a litany of good antagonists even in their less well-received works.Cumulatively, It’s why, while I have criticised them a lot in the past for their bad content, I don’t really blame Toshiki Inoue or Shoji Yonemura for how bad it is (and in the latter’s case try to remind yugioh fans that ‘hey, a few really bad writers are on Vrains, that’s a big part of why it sucks so don’t go attacking Shin Yoshida for it ‘cause he’s repeatedly been shown to not be the cause when he was accused of such in the past’), for they clearly were not in control nor had the leeway that’s usually afforded to Writers on series like this to develop their stories how they like within reason.  I forget where, but I remember reading something about them apologizing for their part in this and stating they had no control, Decade’s Tribute episodes being reflective of that apology, and that arc being more in line with what they would have done had they had…well, any other producer.I really, really cannot understate how bad it is.  I feel this brief is once more only scratching the surface on how bad it goes.

[wxldchxld]

OOC Rant: 

So rather than spend my day finishing drafts on all my blogs and working on completing Victarion’s setup, I binged the Umbrella Academy. Mostly because I was (surprise surprise) an enormous MCR fan as a teenager, and in fact I met my first girlfriend through their online MCR forum, which I frequented regularly. I was kind of a die hard. 

For the most part I was really pleased with UA though I have to say that’s mostly because it’s so pretty. Like a lot of shows try to make shit dark and edgy by using dim lighting and shit, but the entire first season was filled with beautiful, surreal imagery that made it very engaging. And while I was disappointed that they didn’t even begin or end with one MCR song, the music was brilliant. Starting out with violin shit from Phantom of the Opera? Oh that shit is my JAM. I felt in general they had strong characters and actors that did pretty well. Especially Ellen Page,  Emmy Raver-Lampman, and Aidan Gallagher (and child actors usually annoy the SHIT out of me). Were there cliches? Yes. Was is really cheesy in some places? Yes. But... superhero shit is so overworked rn that there was no way it wouldn’t be, and I don’t think that was what GW was even going for. He didn’t want 100 percent original. He just wanted to see the genre through his own “lens” as he put it.

So there was a lot I liked. Which I need to point out because as a big MCR fan, I know what they’re like and I don’t want this to turn into a bloodbath if somehow it makes its way into the tags.

What I didn’t like was the LGBTQ representation. Well---that and the weird adopted brother/sister romance but that’s beside the point. The point is that I was really shocked by Klaus. Certain scenes, especially in the first episode, imply that he’s a gender fluid character, and it’s later explicitly shown that he prefers relationships with men (though we haven’t been told he’s explicitly gay as far as I know). He’s also a drug addict, family fuck up, comic relief, tragic-sassy-scene-kid cliche. And he’s the only LGBT representation we get on this show. That’s not ok.

First off, I didn’t read the comics, and I don’t plan to because I find comics really annoying to read anyway. I don’t know if he was in relationships with men in the comics, and I don’t care. So don’t give me bullshit over “they’re staying true to the source material.” It doesn’t matter if he was gay/bi/pan in the original series, it doesn’t matter if that was ok when it was written, all that matters is that right now in the current climate, LGBTQ people don’t want the fuck up character to be their only representation in a show/book/movie.

Second, this could have very easily been solved by just---adding more representation. Rather than Patrick, Allison could have been in a failed relationship with another woman, and they could have still done her weird romance arc with Luther. Rather than the dude whose name I literally don’t remember because his character was so forgettable, Vanya could have been seduced and manipulated by another woman. Rather than the sexy female cop, it could have just as easily been a sexy male/trans/nonbianary cop Diego dated and it wouldn’t have mattered. This problem was an easy fix. Hell Page is a lesbian woman!!! She would have been willing to play that part, I’m sure. 

Third, this feels really fetishy. I can already see the straight girls writing horrible hurt/comfort category yoai bullshit on Ao3 and if it hasn’t started I’m positive it will. Do you know why? Because Klaus is the type of character they fetishize. Look at Bucky Barnes, look at Loki, look at the people in super hero movies that are the focus of those fics and tell me that Klaus doesn’t sit at the apex of that category. It’s not ok. 

Look I’m sure that Klaus’ character has something to do with Gerard’s own struggle with gender identity, and I understand the circumstances that surrounded him as he was writing UA that likely influenced the character that came out of it. Because if he doesn’t scream Black Parade I don’t fuckin know what does. But that doesn’t make it ok that he’s the only LGBTQ representation in the show.

What scares me is that while I haven’t looked at any official numbers I can see this show having a large teenage audience, as well as the older audience that likely tuned in for similar reasons that I did. The visuals, the characterization, the plot, it’s all very appealing to a teenage audience. And we need to be careful how we portray people in minority communities on shows with large teenage demographics.  

This character is literally plagued by tortured spirits. That’s not ok when you have people who believe LGBTQ kids have demons inside of them or are literally mentally ill. I was told the latter growing up and it did serious damage to me as a person. This sort of material is the stuff facebook moms and pastors quote mine for their sermons that they use to indoctrinate the parents of young children. This stuff is perfect for their fear mongering. 

I’m not going to touch on it in depth because this post is about LGBTQ rep specifically, but the way they portrayed his drug habit was also really upsetting to see. Addiction is a disease that can devastate lives and the “if you just suck it up and get over it” message really disgusted me. Again, it sends a bad message to kids that might be in a situation where they’re using drugs. You don’t just tie someone up in an attic to go through that shit by themselves. It’s very dangerous.

And yes, Klaus got sober by the end of the season, which was great, but I don’t have any hopes that he’ll stay that way or that his dynamic in his own family will change, and that doesn’t change the fact that they already spent a whole season like this.

Overall I’m really disappointed that I don’t see more people angry about this. I’m also really disappointed in Gerard Way, who I would have thought would have been more sensitive to these sorts of issues. And I’m shocked that Ellen Page, as vocal as she is about LGBTQ issues hasn’t said anything about how potentially harmful how this character is portrayed is.

[scifrey]

This is a question that came in from social media, and I’ve been pondering the answer for a few months. I could say something glib like “When I’ve hit my publisher’s word count!” but of course, this question is, I think, more about when you know that you’ve finished telling the story you wanted to tell – beginning to end and with all the adjustments and edits added during the drafts.

I think, if I may projet, what you’re really asking is, when are you satisfied enough with the manuscript to call it “done” (or at least, done enough to start pitching around or to give to your editor/agent.)

And that’s a hard, hard, hard question for any author, but a doubly hard one for me – see I nearly always write the ending first.

When I start a novel, I usually start by writing the scene that is, for me, the most powerful, the most attractive, the most fun and filled with the most flavor of the book.  Usually it’s either the first act, second act, or third act/novel climax, simply because of the way my brain works. By that point I more or less know where in the timeline of these character’s lives the story needs to stop, and where it needs to start. But of course those things can slide depending on edits and the need for background info, epilogues, a better tie-up, etc.

For other writers, they plot the whole book before they sit down, so they know before they start where the ending is. And for others, they just write until it seems done, and solidify that endpoint during the editing phase.

But as for knowing when the story is finished?

Yowza.

That’s a hard question to answer.

Don’t laugh, but for me it’s when the story stops squirming. There’s this feeling I get in my stomach, under my skin, that’s like a wiggly itch – it’s the physical manifestation of knowing that something is off, I just don’t know what yet. When I read the book and there’s no squirm? It’s done.  You could also be really morbid and compare it to a pinned live butterfly as well – flipping and flopping all over the place, shedding wing-dust and scales all over the velvet. I have one pin in it – at the tip of a wing – but I have to get another pin into the other wing, and then another in the bottom wings, and another in the thorax and … yeah, okay, I know I sound like a serial killer.

But the idea is the same. When the story is pinned in place from all corners, and the full picture is spread out, beautiful, and legible, then the story is done.

A good way to check is to write the meaning and beats of each scene down on note cards as you re-read the book over, like this:

The Untold Tale

Chapter One: Scene 1:

Beats: Forsyth sees Mother Mouth approaching with Pip through study window –  goes down to meet them in the foyer – they check for/neutralize spells on the body Mouth has brought – body is alive, it’s a woman – Forsyth brings her into the house and they set up a room for her – Forsyth stays by her bedside, ostensibly as a host but really to keep an eye on her in case this is a ploy

Needed Because: Sets up Forsyth as caring and overly servile; intros world, Turn Hall, Mother Mouth; sets up Forsyth as spy (readers don’t know yet); introduces Pip’s scars.

When you have all your cards for all your scenes, pin them to the wall and connect them with color-coded string – for example, anything scene/card that builds Forsyth as the Shadow Hand will be connected by, say, Purple, while anything about Pip and her scars is connected in green. You can also do this with color-coded highlighter marks, sticky notes, stickers, etc.

(I do it digitally via Scrivener, which has a pin-board and color coding built in.)

When you’ve done this all, step back and look at it – does every card have a string attached to it, or a color coded dot in the corner? Do all the things you’ve set up pay off? Do you have a scene that is a repeat of another, does it re-establish something that was already established once, or drags, or is superfluous? Did you describe the same place three times or did the character growth arc flipflop?

And if it doesn’t serve the overall story? Cut it. Or fix it. Or rewrite it.

I call those moments “decks” – we build a lot of decks for our characters to hang out on in fiction, but we should really be building staircases. Your staircase can have some landings, some places to rest up and catch your breath, but ultimately they should be going up up up. If your characters / plot / forward momentum is chilling on a deck with a frosty bevvie, then the deck needs to be rebuilt, tilted upward, and forcing your story back into motion.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying to book has to plow ahead, no-holds-barred. Your story can meander, and linger, and be slow, can treasure quiet moments and have multiple episodes that feed into the main narrative – that’s fine. So long as everything needs to be there. So long as it goes.

But a book should be waterproof and air tight, no matter how many words long it is.  Looking over it shouldn’t give you squirmies. Everything should connect, no scene or moment or even sentence should be meaningless.

If you can say that you have ruthlessly reviewed every plot point, every scene, every sentence – going from macro to micro – and can confidently and honestly say that everything that is there is something that needs to be there for the sake of the story, or the plot, or the character arc, or the world and/or word-crafting… then I think that’s when the book is done.

When all of the story that needs telling to make it a story is told, then then the story is complete.

I know it sounds complicated and rigorous, but with any luck, you’ll have your own intuitive version of the squirmies that will let you know when there’s still one more draft to do.

[stillwinterair]

We finished Godless last night and god, that show is so close to being an 8 or 9 out of 10 but it suffers from so many problems

Pacing tends to be BIZARRE as it’ll cut from a deep, meaningful, intense scene that delves deep into the psychology of a character, to some weird 5-plus-minute scene that essentially does nothing for the plot. Sometimes entire story arcs will crop up and be half-resolved and then dropped in a matter of two episodes that feel like they didn’t have a purpose, and it leaves the show feeling like a very loose collection of ideas that the creators were forced to try to bring together all at once.

Almost all of those weird, long-winded moments are used to flesh out the extremely cliche backbone of the plot, a generic tale of White Outlaw Men in the wild west... when the other stories going on are so much more interesting and unique in the genre? The stories of the towns La Belle and Blackdom, as well as the people who inhabit them, are complex and engaging, and they’re the kinds of things you RARELY get to see in westerns. Even La Belle’s sheriff is an interesting take on the genre: He’s slowly, but inevitably, going blind, and that struggle touches everything he does. But every time it starts to dive deep into the PLETHORA of rich and interesting stories it has to tell, it cuts away to tell you more things you could have very easily guessed at about the drama between Frank Griffin and Roy Goode.

One of the main characters, Alice Fletcher, just DID NOT work for me. Somewhere between her acting skill, the way the character was written, and the way her makeup was done, I just got lost. She was easily the least genuine-feeling part of the show, and in a show full of superb sets and acting talent, she just... took me right out, every time she was on screen. She was boring, she was played flat, and she was one of the main characters. Like, I can excuse one bad character here and there, but it just felt like she was taking away vital screentime from far more interesting and better-acted people, like the ladies of La Belle.

This damn show gets REALLY fucking racist in the last episode, like, yikes. The show’s got a whole bunch of black characters, but all but two of them die in the last episode for pretty much no fucking reason. It’s stupid, needlessly graphic, serves no purpose to the story, and honestly doesn’t make much sense. While all of these other points are easier to look past because it’s the kind of shit I expect from the genre, this alone stands at the top of all the rest and basically ruined the entire show for me, not to mention made me feel severely uncomfortable. This kind of shit should not still be happening in 2017. Horrid, ugly, and a waste of good characters and talent.

I feel like just a few rewrites and plot restructures could have made this show damn-near perfect: Make the threat of Frank Griffin more prevalent to La Belle earlier than the eleventh fucking hour (metaphorically speaking; the show isn’t even 11 hours long). Hell, just tie La Belle into the Frank/Roy plotline somehow (Frank is looking for Roy who’s staying with Alice who lives miles outside of town... the whole plot just feels so loose here and then there’s no tension and then you have to spend way more time with Alice who’s one of the worst parts of the show). Cut out all of the useless exposition dumps on Frank and Roy (man, there are a LOT of pointless flashbacks). Have Blackdom come to La Belle’s aid (anything to avoid that useless, racist slaughter in episode 7).

There’s a BUNCH more fixes I feel like could have, and should have, been made to make the show feel more consistent and succinct, but I can’t remember half of them right now. Just, through most of the show, I remember constantly thinking “why didn’t they write it this way?” or “why wasn’t this structured that way?” or “why did they leave this scene in when it doesn’t serve a point, instead of focusing on that other thing that doesn’t have any screentime?” And I kept expecting these weird things to serve some point, but it just... never did.

Godless is a decent show with a bunch of incredible characters and phenomenal acting. But it just... misses the mark. In too many places. Too many times. I don’t know how a show that’s almost so great fell apart in so many ways. It feels like the script never evolved beyond the draft phase. It’s clunky and messy and... GOD, seriously, did NO ONE think to mention how awful the Blackdom thing is in episode 7? Seriously? That NEVER came up during production? I find it so hard to believe that NOBODY caught that.

It’s especially disappointing too, because this show is so damn refreshing for the genre. It’s a show about a town of women struggling to hold onto their home... but then it centers around a tale of revenge and outlaws centered around two Wild West White Boy Cowboy Types, and it puts all of its energy there, but that’s literally 99% of the western genre, so... why? Why do that? You’re holding something new and unique and creative in the palm of your hand, but you just zero in on the familiar and overdone plotline.

Something that could have so easily been a 9/10 is... meh. 6/10 at best.

The good news, though, is that Mary-Agnes McNue is easily the best thing about this show. She’s complex, realistic, three-dimensional, extremely well-acted (like, holy shit, sometimes I forget I’m watching a TV show when she’s on the screen because she just feels like a real damn person), fucking badass when she needs to be, but also... extremely funny? Like. God. Wow. Her and Jojen Reed Whitey Winn are my top two favorites, but Maggie is just... she’s perfect and I love her and I would watch a whole damn show about her

[shadysadie]

Sailor Moon 90s Dub Names

So some of the name changes in the Sailor Moon DiC dub really baffle me. (Keep in mind I did not watch Sailor Moon as a kid, I was vaguely aware of it's existence, but I never watched a single episode until I was a senor in high school, so I started with the sub and have no nostalgic ties to the DiC/Cloverway dub. However I did read the Mixx version of the manga so I was exposed to the changed names there and later I heard so much about the dub I went and watched a handful of episode out of curiosity)

Lets start with the title character

Usagi – DiC name: Serena – Mixx name: Bunny

Okay Usagi is weird because she actually has two dub names, obviously Serena in the anime, but a lot of people don't seem to know in the first American printing of the manga she was actually called Bunny. Now I don't know which came out first in America the manga or the anime, and I'm too lazy to look it up, but I'm going to guess the manga did just because of this reason. Changing Usagi to Bunny actually isn't too stupid, Anime hadn't quite taken over America yet so a lot of people still got rattled by super foreign names. As I get older I do start to understand localization was the thing in the 90s. Since Bunny is literally what Usagi means I didn't find this too stupid. Plus it shows why Usagi is obsessed with rabbits.

 Serena though? I don't think Serena fits the character AT ALL! Not only does it simply sound like it doesn't fit the character, but look at the name meaning: "clear, tranquil, serene" none of those things could be used to describe Usagi. And yes, I know the same could be said for Serenity but Serenity was Usagi's PAST LIFE, not who she is now. I've gone off on what I think of keeping her Princess name the same a few times on this blog so I won't even go there in this post.

 Now, in fairness, this one I actually was given an explanation for at a con, at a panel with John Stocker (one of the men who originally helped write the dub script) I asked why they didn't just use the name “Bunny” and he said it had to do with syllables, the mouth movement for “U-sa-gi” matched the mouth movement for “Ser-ren-na” better than “Bun-ny” But since everyone but Rei and Chibiusa use honorifics, I'm calling bullshit on this excuse. (Victoria was also in the running for a dub name, which fits Usagi even less than Serena, but at least the syllable excuse would work for that one.)

Mamoru Chiba– DiC and Mixx name: Darien Shields

 I have to admit, I find it hilarious that they do try to capture the name meaning here. Mamoru literally means “Protect”, and so I laugh that they just literally make his last name “Shields”. To be honest, while I find it a kind of boring name, I don't think it contrasts him too terribly much because I kind of find Mamoru to be a boring character. (sorry Mamo) Like I could totally see him as a Darien, that's fine, it's the 90s, whatever. But again, like with Princess Serena, do we really need to make his past life's name “Prince Darien” Seriously? Along with it being lazy. Darien does not sound royal to me, particularly not fantasy/mythology status royal. And Endymion is a great name with a great story behind it! Like why did we have to cut out that mythological tie? In Greek Mythology an astronomer (or shepherd depending on variations) name Endymion fell in love with the goddess of the moon and was cursed by Zeus, that's a great detail that totally gets erased.

Chibiusa (Usagi Small Lady Serenity) – DiC and Mixx name: Rini (No official princess name to my knowledge)

 This one totally disproves the syllables excuse because there's no way in hell anyone thought “Chi-Bi-Us-Sa” was the same mouth movement as “Ri-ni” But I suppose this one makes sense since Chibiusa is a nickname for Usagi, Rini is a nickname for Serena. I suppose the name fits her well enough, though I do think in the Black Moon Arc the enemy kept referring to her as “Small Lady” instead of “Rabbit”. Like, okay, whatever, her name isn't Usagi, Rabbit wouldn't make sense. But then at one point the enemies try to trick her by appearing as Neo-Queen Serenity and she calls her Small Lady, and Chibs is all like “My mommy would NEVER call me Small Lady, you're not really her” like, no bitch, that's your name! It's not a title, Usagi was just that corny when she named you. DiC DON'T CUT USAGI'S CORNINESS!

Ami Mizuno – DiC and Mixx name: Amy Anderson – Cloverway: Amy Mizuno

Okay Ami, Rei, Mina, and Michiru I can't criticize too much because they're just the American translation of the Japanese names so I don't really mind, they're spelled different, but so what? But Ami baffles me because she's the only one of the girls with a different last name. Like, why? Seriously, why? Even Usagi's last name stays the same and that's arguably much more Japanese sounding than Mizuno. I mean, don't get me wrong, Anderson's my last name, it's a good last name, but why is she the only one with an American last name? But what makes it even better is Cloverway then changes it back to Mizuno and no one ever mentions it again.

Just for fun I'm also going to point out that “Blue” was in the running for a dub name for her and I think that's the funniest shit ever. “What should we name this character?” “IDK, what's her color scheme?” “Blue.” “Good enough!” I'd actually like to thank the dubbers for sticking with Amy.

Rei Hino – DiC and Mixx name: Raye Hino

Can't say much about Rei. It's spelled weird, I would have gone with Rae, but whatever. Dana was apparently in the running for her, again, glad they decided against changing it.

Makoto Kino – DiC and Mixx name: Lita Kino

I actually think Lita fits Makoto pretty well. Almost just as well as Mako-chan. Sara was also in the running which I also don't think would have been a too terribly bad choice, Lita's less generic though.

Minako Aino – DiC and Mixx name: Mina Aino

Again, same name, just a different variation of it. Artemis even calls her Mina as a nickname in the original so whateves. Carrie was in the running for her which would have been a fucking awful fit, so I'm glad they stayed with Mina.

Haruka – Cloverway name: Amara – Mixx name: Haruka but also sometime Alex

WARNING: Raging hate boner rant coming up!!!!

This is the name that actually got me to write this whole thing!

Out of all the name changes Haruka's pisses me off the most. It's SUCH a bad fit. I don't hate the name Amara itself, I actually think it's kind of pretty, but it does NOT go with this character! You give the most gender androgynous character one of the most feminine names? It doesn't fit. It sounds weird, it doesn't mesh with her personality, it seems weird every time they call her that!

And what's most baffling to me, THEY STILL PLAY THE 'IS SHE A GUY?' GAME! When Usagi and Minako meet her, they still pad after her thinking she's a guy. Haruka is a name that while typically more common for women, is gender neutral. Amara is definitely not. How can you not hear the name “Amara” and not instantly think, “Oh, shit, that's a chick”

Now the Mixx Manga did something weird, because they introduced the character as Alex Haruka, but only for the panel she was introduced in, then she was Haruka exclusively until one panel in the Dream Arc when she's called Alex again, but that's it. So...great proof reading there guys. Honestly Alex should have been her name in the Cloverway dub. Sure it doesn't fit her as well as Haruka does, but it fits a hell of a lot more than Amara. And more importantly it's one of the most gender neutral names ever.

Also her first draft name was Corinn, can't decide if that's better or worse than Amara. Seriourly dub, why didn't you take Alex? Or another gender neutral name? Riley? Sam? Ash? Jess? Skyler? (BTW I totally just googled “gender neutral American names” to give these examples and had to laugh cuz Skyler would have been the best, corniest pun ever)

Michiru – Cloverway name: Michelle

 Again this one I have no qualms with because I've seen plenty of animes where the name Michiru and Michelle are used interchangeably depending on the dubber and the VA's accent. Again, same name different language.

Nerissa was supposed to be her dub name, which is fucking stupid, I'm glad they stayed with Michelle.

Setsuna – Cloverway name: Trista

Okay, so this is actually the reason I know all the names that were in the running, because I actually had to look up Setsuna's dub name, not cuz I hadn't seen any episodes of the dub with Setsuna in them, but cuz the name Trista to me is really forgettable. I don't know why, it's just a super forgettable name, Setsuna, more than any of the others, even more than Haruka really, I can't see having any name other than Setsuna (other than Plu of course) though that brings me to a little side tangent. Because Chibiusa doesn't call her “Plu” in the dub, she calls her “Luna P” which, no, I'm sorry, no, just no! Luna P is Chibi's toy, not Pluto, Luna P doesn't even remotely make sense as a nickname for Pluto. Yes she does talk with Pluto using Luna P (which I think is called “the Luna Sphere” in the dub) but that doesn't mean we get to degrade a badass character such as Pluto down to the status of a stuffed floating cat's head. Bad dubbers! Bad!

Also, her almost name was Celia, which again, no, sorry. Setsuna is Setsuna.

Hotaru – Cloverway name: Hotaru – Mixx name: Hotaru, but also Jenny just a couple of times.

Last but not least, my favorite character, Hotaru. Now obviously I can't get mad here because they didn't change her name, but I am really confused as to why. Seriously I still can't figure out why they changed ever other name that sounded too Japanese but this one character. Unlike Rei or Mina, this isn't even one that can be an American name too. Hotaru definitely sounds Japanese. Why does just this one character get to keep her super Japanese sounding name? Absolutely no idea. Like Haruka the Mixx seemed to have wanted to rename her but decided against it and not been very good at telling everyone they decided against it because the name “Jenny” pops up a few times in the Manga, but only after Haruka, Michiru, and Setsuna adopt her so take that as you will. I'm glad they didn't rename her, but if they would have chose to I don't think Jenny would have been a god awful choice

[kingofthewhatpod]

Fanfic Friday #3

Oh god, oh dear, oh no. This was supposed to come out last Friday, and yet it was delayed for a week without any news. I mean, I did technically tweet it last Friday but maybe anyone who follows me can forgive me because this week you get both? And.... er... I’ll try to do better? Maybe I’ll do another post on my real thoughts about Fanfic Friday, but if you’re reading this, and you just want to get to the good stuff, let me delay no more!

I return to Fanfic Friday’s roots (after only a single week off, ha) of seeing how I would teak a non-canon arc. Heck, maybe I'll have constructive creativity for a canon arc one day. But not this day. Because I was originally sending these out as tweets, my thoughts in places are brief. Adventure in the Ocean's Naval was fine. It was palatable. But I don't want a slightly overcooked hamburger and some fries. I want steak with garlic mashed potatoes.

Things I liked:

The mystery of the island, however short lived

The guardian monsters

Captain Joke didn't have friends like Luffy, and that was his downfall

Things that could be improved:

Usopp/Nami didn't do much of anything

Magic not explained

who cares about Joke?

As before, I'll keep the premise. Mysterious island, land of adventure? check. But this time, there's no octopus, no immediate fight. Luffy and Zoro andd the ship still fall down below because hijinks. (maybe Zoro is napping and doesn't keep a careful eye on Luffy, who gets bored and starts messing around on the ship, or he sees a cool bug. And him running around somehow dislodges the anchor long enough that they fall). So they all end up down below, and they meet a rather shady old man (think Jafar disguised as the beggar) who tells them about this wicked cool treasure of the gods. It's on the other side of the island if they're brave enough to get it. It is said to grant any wish.

Usopp and Nami are probably freaked out, Sanji would very calmly be like "who would fall for that?" but Luffy has decided to go check it out, and Zoro is just like "he's the captain." So they end up going, some more willingly than others Now, you'll notice this call to adventure is some kind of bad guy (you know what? Make it a poorly disguised oni. Everyone notices except Luffy), instead of some kid. Firstly, I'm usually not a fan of the kid characters- even if they're related to the deeper themes. But also, maybe there *is* a village down here, and they meet a crying Hamu who is like "don't try to go get the treasure! Even Captain Joke, the hero pirate of the village couldn't do it!" But why would that deter Luffy? Answer: it wouldn't.

Luffy could be all "Yeah, but I bet he wasn't as strong as I am. I'm going to be King of the Pirates." (King of the What Now?) Maybe Hamu comes with to watch this idiot in action, maybe he just stays behind. The crew will come back through for the ship anyways and they can tell him about their adventure. Now, they get halfway across a suspiciously empty field, when all of a sudden these stone walls come up from the ground, creating a labyrinth and separating the crew. Luffy might try to rocket up but there's some magical barrier. Also you can't go back the way you came, inwards!

Now, Luffy will basically get lost and increasingly frustrated. I cannot stress how funny this mental image is, as he yells and rampages but to no avail. I don't think the Straw Hats can hear each other. As I mentioned in episode 25 of the podcast, it'd be interesting if the Straw Hats faced off against the former Joke pirates. You get just enough characterization through dialogue and actions that you feel like you actually know this character. Also, I want to touch on the nature of the Joke pirates. Joke was betrayed, just like in the original. But instead of faceless shapes, there are 4 you can clearly see. Also the hint of *something* off-camera giving off a dark red light.

Spoilers: But because Joke's commanders were evil-hearted, they became tainted, causing their forms to morph and become... well, weird and monstrous. We can imply the other no-name members of the Joke pirates were killed in the labyrinth or by these commanders

Anyways. Zombie commander guys facing Luffy's crew one on one. Zoro first. He faces a man clad in weird armor (because One Piece), who constantly bangs on his breastplate, simply saying "Strong! Strong!" He's very bulky and has tusks. Maybe make him look walrus-ish. Anyways, he's very strong, and he hits hard. Zoro can't pierce his armor, and there's no obvious weakpoints. This guy's deal is that he just wants to be strong, as a dark reflection of Zoro's own ambition. He wants it so bad he'd sell out his captain to make a deal with a monster. Eventually Zoro wins, I think by using the butt of his sword to BANG right on the dude's helmet, and then breaking the monster commander's weapon, maybe burying him beneath the rubble created by slashing the walls  surrounding them. And of course Zoro gets a badass line. "What good is strength if you won't use it for your captain?" Because he is a GOOD, LOYAL BOY. Or maybe a comment on his enemy's internal weakness. "If you're too weak to stand and you get knocked down, stand up again even stronger"

Sanji's opponent: A rockstar with a wicked cool guitar and cool shades and a flashy jacket. Yes, I said a rockstar. This is One Piece which has all sorts of crazy character designs. Does it make sense that he has an electric guitar? Do I care? The ideological reason they're suited for each other is because this guy (maybe he's like a creature of the lagoon. Yeah that's it. He's more frog-ish) likes ladies but he's vain about it and only cares about himself (betrayed Joke because being a priate wasn't cool anymore). Anyways he fires actual music note shaped projectiles by strumming his guitar, and Sanji can't really get close at first. That is, until... maybe Froggy says he'll hunt down Nami? Yeah, and then Sanji kicks tthrough these weird music notes, runs forward and kicks him in the face! 

"Coolness can't be forced," Sanji remarks, adjusting his tie. "And no woman would ever want to kiss you." (Also, side note, I'm not a huge fan of the shonen trope of suddenly becoming stronger when someone is threatened. But I couldn't think of a way for Sanji to win otherwise. I need to get better at this. That’s what having a weekly schedule is meant to help with!)

Usopp's opponent: A squid looking guy who hides behind cover and always runs from battle. He betrayed his captain because he was afraid of what would happen if they continued their journey. Usopp tries to snipe him when he comes up from behind cover but Squid boy is very fast. Usopp wins by purposefully acting all angry and firing a bunch of his explosion stars, secretly taking out the cover further down the battle field until the next time squiddy tries to run he gets blasted in the back. "How can a man run from danger for his whole life?" He asks with a smirk. Bonus points if his knees are still shaking while he says it

Nami: She faces a fairy. Yes, a lady who got all shrunk by the monster's power. Maybe a flying sea horse-ish type design, to keep it aquatic. She, like Nami, is money obsessed, and didn't want to share her treasure with Joke. She's another agile one and shoots giant bubbles. Can Nami polevault with that pole of hers? Yeah, let's say she can. So she leaps over one of the bubbles and maybe throws a coin past the lady, causing her lady to quickly look away- unable to resist the allure of gold- just in time for a nice solid smack of the pole. "Try thinking about others once in a while" is Nami's line before she continues through the maze.

Now, it seems the maze is magic in nature (no duh), and the Straw Hats (minus their captain) have come out of the maze. And before them is the treasure. But before they can approach, the red light from earlier. oh no! It's the old man from earlier! (who could have guessed???????) He gets huge and reveals his true form, growing in size, saying he'll never give up his treasure. But before the battle can start, you hear it. CRACK! WHUMP! CRACK! Cracks are appearing on some part of the maze wall behind them. It explodes and in comes an enraged Luffy! Angry that he was lost for so long. Bonus points, Sanji kicks a piece of rubble that was going to hit him, Zoro cuts a piece that was flying at him, and the eternal butt monkey Usopp gets hit in the head.

Luffy: Who's this? Zoro: Dunno Sanji: That's the old guy from earlier. Luffy: Whaaaat?? Grandpa wasn't a good person?? Nami: Honestly, captain... Usopp: *recovered from the rubble* Hey, Luffy, what was that, you jerk!!!

Now, the point is that this monster likes to sow chaos. Just like in the original special, Joke was betrayed because he had crappy friends. And The Straw Hats seem incredibly disorganized. So the monster king grins. "How would you like to join me and I'll grant you your wish?" Zoro, Nami, Sanji, Usopp, each of them get all quiet and start walking over to accept the deal. Luffy is watching them, a look of mild confusion on his face. They stand right in front of the thing and the monster grins. "Good," he says. All four of them at once give him a solid whack, kick, shot, and slide. "As if!!!"  They cry in union. Luffy grins and punches the big creature in the gosh darn mouth. Well, probably the nose but I like to say "punch in the mouth"

He's not defeated *that* easily, and maybe if I spent more time rewriting and drafting this I could come up with an exciting narrative. The point is that the monster is too strong for even Luffy on their own, but they fight as a team.

You might think Luffy tends to prefer to fight alone, and maybe he does for a while. But the monster *could* wish himself stronger, and it could look like Luffy is about to lose when his crew mates save him, allowing him to prepare for an even stronger punch that will finish it. And of course the wish granting gem breaks. Of COURSE Luffy sends the monster flying and he smashes into the thing and it gets launched with him over the horizon or something. Of course everyone's mad but Luffy shrugs it off, since it's more about the journey than the destination So... yeah, that's basically it. Luffy comes back to the village, Hamu is like "How did you do it?" and Luffy just grins and is like "with help from my crew." And it's a sweet moment. Hopefully you liked it! I feel like this was the longest one yet.

Happy Friday everyone!

[hurlingpeoplenow]

While there were a number of interesting results and upsets last week, the HPN Team Ratings largely stayed unchanged from a ranking point of view. At this stage of the season our method of rating teams gets quite firm in its views, comparing as it does the entire season’s work of each club in order to provide a good basis for historical comparison.

Perhaps the biggest change at the top end is Geelong slowly closing the gap on the top two, who soften a little bit at the top. GWS continue to lose touch with the top end, and missing almost their entire first choice forward line this week they have a hard assignment against a mostly fit Melbourne. As Matt Cowgill from The Arc/ESPN outlined this week, the Manuka match-up shapes as one of the most pivotal games this week, alongside almost every match this round.

In related news: it’s a fantastic time to be a footy fan.

Richmond made the biggest leap this week, from 8th into 6th, leapfrogging a disappointing Melbourne and swapping places with the Dons. West Coast is only a fraction outside the top 8 teams, and the St Kilda match-up this week looms as a de-facto elimination game for both sides.

Now onto the question posed at the top of the column.

The best of the 2017 retirees

There’s a high calibre group of already-announced retires, all undisputed champions of the game who nonetheless vary quite markedly in the types of achievements and qualities for which they are recognised.

This week, HPN has decided (with the help of a few friends) to look at different ways to split the careers of these five great players, and try to work out who was the best of the bunch, once all is said and done.

Team Success

Many among us (including Michael Jordan) consider a championship title to be the most relevant thing when determining who was truly the best player of a group. The goal of almost all professional sport is to win at the peak level of competition, with all else being ancillary to this pursuit.

To determine this with these five players, we have graded the players on the most simple of scales: two points for a premiership, one point for a grand final loss, none for a draw (sorry Nick).

(tie): Mitchell, Hodge (9 points)

Riewoldt (2 points)

Priddis (1 point)

Thompson (0 points)

Mitchell and Hodge are tied at the top here, as a result of both being teammates during the Hawks’ ultra-successful run between 2008 and 2015. As all Saints fans can remember, St Kilda lost two Grand Finals under the captaincy of Nick Riewoldt, including one that they definitely should have won. Matt Priddis missed out on the Eagles’ 2006 premiership win, even if he was on the list at the time, but played in the 2015 loss to the Hawks. And Scott Thompson has never tasted the limelight on the last Saturday in September (or October).

Individual Awards

Brownlow Medal

Surprisingly, of these group of five players, only two have had the Brownlow Medal hung from their necks. To split all and any ties, we have used total Brownlow Medal votes as the tiebreaker.

Mitchell (1 medal, 220 votes)

Priddis (1 medal, 146 votes)

Thompson (155 votes)

Riewoldt (149 votes)

Hodge (131 votes)

It turns out that the midfielders’ award is really a midfielders’ award. At the start of the 2016 season Sam Mitchell sat in a tie for first all time (with Gary Ablett Jr) for most Brownlow Medal votes (adjusting for the crazy voting system in the mid-1970s). Mitchell had an incredibly long and consistent career, one which was often masked by the excellence of his teammates. Priddis somehow jagged the 2014 medal in what might not have been his best season, but the medal is his nonetheless.

Among all players who never won a Brownlow, Scott Thompson is one of the highest career vote getters; behind luminaries such as Leigh Matthews, Brent Harvey, Scott West, Garry Wilson and Kevin Bartlett. That is very good company to be in, and perhaps the dreaded Victorian media bias Thompson in getting the recognition that he deserved through his career. Nick Riewoldt has polled as well as almost any key position forward in history, although he only peaked at a high of 17 votes in any one year. And Luke Hodge, who often did his best work off a half back flank, was often ignored by the umpires in the minds of the Brownlow in favour of star teammates.

Club B&F

Riewoldt (7 wins)

Mitchell (5 wins)

(tie) Priddis, Hodge, Thompson (2 wins)

Each club votes differently and may judge their best and fairest awards on different criteria, but they are still a good way to see how clubs value their own player. All five players took home at least two club champion awards, but Riewoldt is way ahead of the pack with seven.

All-Australian

Riewoldt (five-time AA, three-time AA squad)

Mitchell (three-time AA, four-time AA squad)

Hodge (three-time AA, two-time AA squad)

Priddis (one-time AA, two-time AA squad)

Thompson (one-time AA, one-time AA squad)

Riewoldt stands alone here again, with his performances up forward regularly being recognised as being the best in the game. Thompson suffers here from the glut of elite midfielders that were in the league recently.

Statistics

As we have alluded to in recent weeks, HPN have been developed a player value system over the last year named PAV (after Matthew Pavlich). It is derived entirely from publicly available stats on afltables. We have been teasing it for the past few weeks, and we will drop the methods and formulas after the season is wrapped up and we have some time on our hands.

But for now, we can look at PAV (which is determined on a player’s contribution to a team’s effort in 3 areas of the ground, weighted by the strength of the team in that area that year) for each of the retirees. Here’s the data and graph for the five players across their careers.

For context: a perfectly average team will have 300 PAV across its list in a given year. A season above 20 is generally a sign of All-Australian contention (depending on position). A PAV north of 12 is generally an average contributor. Seasons of 25 PAV or more are relatively rare and outstanding.

Peak PAV

Hodge

Riewoldt

Mitchell

Thompson

Priddis

According to PAV ratings, not only was Luke Hodge’s 2005 season is the best single season by any season of the retirees, but his 2010 and 2006 seasons were distant second and third and ahead of any other player-season here. Unlike Brownlow Medal voting, PAV is more agnostic when it comes to rating the value and impact of defenders and forwards because it assigns values for all three parts of the ground and sums them. This is demonstrated by the relatively high Hodge and Riewoldt placings.

Below are the component ratings for Hodge, Riewoldt and Mitchell, showing the relative contribution of midfield, offence and defence ratings to each season. Note the shifting roles played by Hodge over the years as defence or midfield contribution rises and falls, compared to the purer midfield and forward roles of Riewoldt and Mitchell.

#gallery-0-5 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-5 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Riewoldt’s best year, his 2004 season, saw him walk away with multiple media and other voting awards for best player, but he was stiffed by the umpires in the Brownlow (PAV had him as the 3rd best player that year, behind Judd and Akermanis).

In their Brownlow years of 2012 and 2014, PAV rated Mitchell and Priddis as the 12th and 13th most valuable players in the league respectively. Mitchell’s Brownlow was of course the 2012 medal, awarded in retrospect. 2012 was also Thompson’s best year, and he was just shaded by Mitchell, rating 13th. We should note, however, that in a lot of these ratings the differences were fairly minimal and since PAV stands for “player approximate value”, when scores are similar the exact order is not necessarily meaningful – a 21.8 versus a 21.6 has very minimal difference, and could even come down to the mistaken compilation of given statistics.

Incidentally, during that 2012 season, Mitchell’s eventual co-medallist Trent Cotchin was 4th for PAV that year, and the ultimately ineligible Jobe Watson rated 5th.

Career PAV

Mitchell

Hodge

Riewoldt

Thompson

Priddis

We have imputed a final 2017 value based on the season to date – these may shift with the final few games of each career, but the shift shouldn’t be significant since most of the season has been played. The margins between the top three are quite slim, but the results should hold.

With the shortest career of the bunch, Priddis was always going to struggle with respect to total career value produced, however he still produced more than the average value of number one draft picks. Of the five players, Thompson got off to the slowest start, but had the longest stretch of “good-to-great” seasons, with nine straight years where he should have been in All Australian squad contention. This slow start, along with the longest tail of the five players, meant that the other three greats would shave him.

Subjective Ratings

For this measure, we asked three of our favourite football writers/analysts to rank the players from one to five, on whatever grounds or method they choose. They had no idea of our work above. They are:

Rob Younger (Figuring Footy)

Ryan Buckland (Onballers, The Roar)

Matt Cowgill (ESPN, The Arc)

Collectively these three ranked them:

Mitchell

Riewoldt

Hodge

Priddis

Thompson

But we note that two of the three are West Coast supporters, so take the last two spots with a small grain of salt. All three we surveyed unanimously had Mitchell-Riewoldt at 1st and 2nd in that order – as did the other dozen or so people we asked in our day to day lives.

In summary

We seem to keep coming back to there being two clear tiers here – Mitchell, Hodge and Riewoldt in some order, then Priddis and Thompson. Mitchell comes out as the closest thing to a consensus “best” but Riewoldt isn’t far behind

The biggest outlier method – even more so than team success – turns out to be the Brownlow Medal which we have no compunction about saying quite simply undervalues both Riewoldt and Hodge.

By the same token however, when we look at various uses of our PAV, it becomes apparent that the inclusion of Priddis and Thompson in this comparison isn’t spurious and they aren’t really out of place, even if their recognition as individual greats hasn’t been as forthcoming. As we stated above, a potential Victorian media bias – which has foundations in media theory and international sporting debate – may have an impact on the public perceptions of non-Victorian based players.

Something we like about the PAV approach as we’ve tested and analysed it is the way it identifies lesser-lights who had careers or seasons which were comparable to better recognised and more widely noted achievements. Thompson had a very long career of consistently high value to his (second) club while Priddis, a late starter, still came in and performed at a similar level almost immediately. Every one of these five players had careers which outperformed the expectations of a number one draft pick and it’s no insult to say that Priddis or Thompson are fourth or fifth among this group.

Who was the best retiree: Riewoldt, Hodge, Mitchell, Thompson or Priddis? While there were a number of interesting results and upsets last week, the HPN Team Ratings largely stayed unchanged from a ranking point of view.