#this also applies to sufjan stevens tho

[bitchboi63]

i love angry whiny guy music which makes you confused about if they sing about jesus or a lost love

[ttlmt]

hi bee!! sorry for the disappearance but i'm done with finals now!! i'm looking forward to sleeping in and spending more time chilling instead of working. what have you been up to now that you're done with your classes? i hope you've been doing well!! i saw you posted an ask list so i'll ask you "freckles" and "clouds" from it!! and it's only 10 days til christmas eve so i'm excited!! 💛💛 - ur tecpgc secret santa 🎄❄️

hi!! np, finals kicked my ass too i totally get it. glad they’re done for both of us now! honestly haven’t done much, been giffing a bit and working on my ss present, also spending way too much time on tumblr and listening to evermore and louis’ livestream lol. this week i have to start applying to uni/college tho and finish dapgbee.

freckles: what’s something that makes you happy? describe the first thing that comes to your head.

answered here :)

clouds: list your top 5 songs at the moment and how they make you feel

copy of a copy of a copy by louis tomlinson (this is just such a good painful rock song and i love louis)

no body no crime by taylor swift (this song just gets me so pumped i love taylor getting back to her country roots and i love me a good murder country song)

therefore i am by billie eilish (this song just makes me feel badass)

auld lang syne by chloe adams OR sufjan stevens (i was missing my family in scotland as well as scotland itself, it’s also almost news years and this song always gets me. the chloe adams version is v pretty and has all the lyrics and just makes me feel sad but hopeful, the sufjan stevens version is like a group singing it and it makes me happy and nostalgic for singing and being with people also theres a part that sounds like cats singing)

fine line by harry styles (it’s the anniversary today and,, we’ll be alright)

[poorlittlevampire]

my 2020 year in review

i was tagged by @rosesilk ty for the tag <3

i am tagging anoyone who wants to do it!!! <3

rules: answer the questions about 2020 and tag some people to pass it on!

5 favorite films you watched in 2020:

1. frank

2. bill & ted’s excellent adventure

3. pride and prejudice

4. scott pilgrim vs. the world

5. about time

i honestly don’t watch movies that often!! i don’t think i saw anything new this year, i just rewatched a bunch of my faves hehe but also i have horrible memory so i probably saw a few new things i really liked! who knows

5 favorite tv shows you watched in 2020:

1. the untamed

2. twin peaks

3. regular show

4. iasip

5. love is blind (lol)

lmao i don’t really watch tv either so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i feel like i def watched more than that but i can’t remember 

5 favorite songs you listened to in 2020:

1. your voice, as i remember it - ajj

2. cosmonauts - fiona apple

3. cowboy like me - taylor swift

4. sunlight - hozier

5. you could not provoke me - the brazen youth

Top 5 albums of 2020:

1. fetch the bolt cutters - fiona apple

2. evermore - taylor swift

3. tides of a teardrop - mandolin orange (from 2019 but i listened for the first time this year lol)

4. the ascension - sufjan stevens

5. chromatica - lady gaga

sooooo much good music came out this year tbh it was such a good year for music!!!!!

Top 5 books you read in 2020:

i didn’t end up reading that much this year bc i’m really bad at finishing books lmao but i reread twilight and jane eyre, and both are amazing. i also reread punpun but idk if that really counts :-)

How did you spend your birthday this year?

i didn’t do anything! bc my mom was freshly out of the hospital, and quarantine was happening and all that. i don’t usually do anything tho so it was fine

What was your most memorable day this year?

i can’t remember the exact day but the day i joined animal crossing twt (sometime in early april), bc that’s when i met a bunch of my friends!! or the night taylor swift dropped folklore lmao

What was your most memorable meal you had this year?

i don’t have one oops

Did you find any new hobbies or interests in quarantine?

yes!! i started working with some new art mediums, and have specifically really loved oil pastels! i also have really gotten into rhythm games

What was the last big event/thing you remember doing BC (before covid)?

seeing jane eyre at the hartford stage! that happened like, right before lockdown started

5 good/positive things that happened to you in 2020:

1. was in a musical! (before covid shut us down after our first week of performances 😪😪😪)

2. starting playing the accordion, which has been a dream of mine for YEARS

3. found some of the best friends i’ve ever had

4. greatly improved my art, music, and writing!

5. wrote music that i really like!! and don’t hate after a month!

Biggest messages or lessons learnt from this year?

respect urself, don’t accept scraps bc it’s all you’re being offered, it’s nice to be on ur own but true friendship and connection is so so so important, one box of bleach is NOT enough for my whole head and also not strong enough either

And what are you most looking forward to in 2021?

hopefully if things continue to settle down with covid, i’ll be looking into college again! as i’ve found a handful of school i’m interested in applying to!

[sturlsons]

how do you feel about the fact that quality and popularity or appreciation are not mutually exclusive in fandom? this varies from fandom to fandom but for bts especially, while some well written things do get super popular, most go largely ignored. i think we see this everywhere tho. looking at popular music, tv, films. how do you keep this from bothering you? i have a hard time with this and wish i cared less.

honestly i don’t know man. i’m way less pressed about really good shit being ignored than i am about really bad shit going popular. that gets my goat. however, there’s a lot of factors that go into the whole thing that we absolutely can’t ignore, the most important one being education/exposure. that’s why i hate when people shit on mainstream hits or whatever; like i trained for 10 years in indian classical music and still love despacito, those things are not mutually exclusive, which i didn’t get for a long time.

there’s a lot of classism, academic elitism and social bias that goes into rebuking others’ taste (this is no shade against you by the way, i’m talking in general) which i’ve spent a long time unlearning because i was a very, very, very bright and exceptionally well-read child who thought she was above everything and everyone because she preferred watching world history channel over 90210. i don’t subscribe to that thinking anymore. try to unlearn it too. 

think of it this way - you’re lucky enough to have found some art that speaks to you, and you love it dearly and wish it was more popular, but 1) it maybe doesn’t speak to everyone that way** and 2) maybe everyone it could speak to doesn’t have access to it. you can’t control 1, so why be bothered? you can control 2, so why waste time bothering when you could be spreading good content?

**an important thing to think about is also this: something could be very well-done, a master of its craft, and still only actually touch a handful of people, because it just doesn’t…apply to others’ lives, or click with them. i have never, for example, felt one (1) single emotion while listening to western classical music or uhhh the sad gay. who. SUFJAN STEVENS. nor do i get a single fucking thing about art. if you’re in my inbox i assume you enjoy and trust my taste/work, so there’s something to chew on. my lived experiences just don’t match up with these things. ed sheeran, though? HELL YEAH. i feel that shit in my soul. why? because i find his songs pure, and sweet, and honest, and they remind me of my love life. as simple as that.

life may be an eternal quest to be more enlightened (it sure is for me). but that doesn’t mean you can’t just Chill Out and enjoy yourself along the way - and most of all, understand and accept that life isn’t an eternal quest to be more enlightened for many, and that some of those those for whom it is might find their enlightenment in pitbull and not iron&wine. that’s GREAT! i’m glad everyone is finding their personal source of happiness.

all that being said, what does bother me and will continue to bother me is the amount of problematic and straight up wrong content that ends up getting popular because it’s packaged palatably. this especially in fandom; all the “angst” fics which are just romanticised toxic/abusive relationships, all the pervasive heteronormativity and transphobia in a medium that is supposed to be a safe space for so many of the LGBT+ community, and - my biggest anger trigger - the simultaneous romanticisation and trivialisation of real, horrible experiences like death and loss. now that? is a thing that will never stop making me see red. 

[warrvns-blog]

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS ::

yo literally just hmu for any of these fam squad like ! most of these can be applied to any gender unless stated otherwise. feel free to like this if you’re interest in any of these ! i’ll try and update this with new ideas and which are taken whenever i can !!

OBVIOUSLY FRIENDS ----  warren is a likeable dude ya kno ? and he’s definitely got quite the collection of friends. ranging from different ages and walks of life i do think he’s a good friend who listens well and pulls people back down to reality when things get a bit crazy. tho things are a bit crazy rn in general so,,,, who knows

A MENTOR... IG ----  warren has been teaching at hawley’s high school for about six years. he’s going to have ahd students, and i’m sure over the years there’s been some that he’s really connected with and wanted to stay in contact with. just as a way to catch up and see if they’re doing the great things he always expected of them.

A TERROR... TBH ----  if you have the golden students, shining bright, you also have the ones that make your job shit. warren thought maybe after they graduated he’d be done and gone and rid of them forever but no. they remain. slipping in and out of his life still making it a shit time for him. a real high class annoyance.

VISIONS OF GIDEON ----  warren is a serial dater and i think there could be multiple exes. but this is a distinct melancholy sort. one that maybe was short term, or long term, but intimate and intense. not a single good thing came out of them parting. whoever this person was, they were important to warren. maybe a third force pulled them apart and didn’t allow them to let them fulfill their time together. maybe the end of the world really makes him want to say fuck it and touch their face one last time. he’s a slut for romantics.

STRONG MEN DON’T LAST ----   maybe warren takes care of people but he needs someone to take of him sometimes too. his bones feel soft and weak and he just wants to nap a lot of the time. this person can comfort him when he just feels defeated and maybe if he just wants to cry a little bit. a friend who reminds him he should be working on his book and make him tea when it’s rainy out. 

A FELLOW SLUT FOR ART ----  they can wonder museums, discussing the classic works of art and have discussions about whether contemporary art is truly as striking as the stuff now or if it’s really just garbage. they can get coffee far too fancy for them and sit outside and let their skin soak up the sun discussing their favorite classic writers. it’s not pretentious if you both feel the same way, i promise.

THE HONEY OF NOSTALGIA ----  warren was born n raised nyc boy !! if anyone elese charries are from nyc, they could go wayyy back. depending on charrie ages we can figure out how they’d possibly know each other either through school or possibly family friends. he’s a fan of nostalgia and while his family situation is a bit strained, he loves new york and he misses it dearly. having a reminder of that would be nice.

SUFJAN STEVENS SLAYS MY ASS ----   i’ll be honest, i’m still deep in my cmbyn feels, and i think a ship like that would be Cool. esp bc the world is about ti End and warren’s defeated with love and might see this astroid as a poetic symbol of him needing to just,,,, let himself be in love. so i’m gna be real, i am picky w who i ship w and if this were a plot, it can certainly be attached onto another one of these mentioned above. or something new altogether fam !! just know that i need ic chemistry and ooc chemistry before,,, dedicating myself to a ship. but it is something i have been thinking a lot abt.

always the other classics ofc, friends, enimies, neighbors, etc etc !!!

[laptrance]

January 17

hung out with kim today. caught up on stuff that’s going on with her (cki, danny, classes, internships, letters of recc). then kim told me about how tanisha and karl broke up. then i asked her if i could talk to her about this falling out angelica and i are having and she said yes. i told her everything. she was kind of surprised but also not surprised. kim agrees with me tho that she should stop talking to dennis. kim also said that she didn’t really like him cause he wouldn’t say hi to her whenever he saw her, or it would just be very short. i told her about how her and max broke up. kim said she likes max better cause he looked like a guy who would treat a girl right lol. max does. 

anyways, i asked kim to give the letter i wrote to angelica and she agreed. i asked if she could just leave it on her desk or something instead of having it get to riverside, cause that shit’s complicated. kim told me that she’ll tell me when she gives it/when angelica reads it, which is kind of reassuring. 

im preparing for the wrost. im thinking the worst is that angelica will be so mad at the fact that i talked to kim about what’s going on between us and how i asked kim to send the letter that she won’t even read it. or she might read the letter and she’ll still not say anything. or it might be a combination of the two. i dont know how long i’ll wait in order for it to be a no. 

best possible situation i can think of is that she’ll read the letter, contact me to talk about our issues, and she’ll tell me the whole damn truth. then we’ll reach a mutual understanding and our friendship will be restored. 

honestly i am really hoping for the best. kim said that she thinks angelica might wanna talk after reading the letter if she saw that i hand wrote the letter. eh, we’ll see. 

if she doesn’t say anything about dennis if we do have a talk about the letter, then i will just drop her completely. if she’s not going to be truthful about her interactions with dennis, then i honestly can’t be her friend anymore. i want to help her so much with everything that’s going on between the two because he is honestly causing her so much emotional distress. like there’s no point in having a close friendship if she’s going to be so secretive about her and dennis. maybe i should try to tell her that i’ll be supportive of whatever she does so that she won’t feel like she needs to hide her interactions with him. i think that’s the reason why she’s becoming so distant. but idk, if she doesn’t want the help, then i’ll leave her the fuck alone to deal with that shit herself. 

i really feel like saying the moral of this story is fuck dennis, but i can’t say that. there’s something going on with him that i don’t know about unless i ask him. i feel like understanding his side will enlighten me as to why their relationship is so fucking on and off. i might be more at peace with their behaviors too. 

I DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHY THIS IS EATING AT ME SO MUCH. WHY CAN’T I JUST MIND MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS????    

since then, i’ve just been deep inside spotify. i made top 10 albums for the years 2006-2015. i also checked out sufjan stevens’ work for call me by your name and tonya harding. it’s really been the only thing distracting enough from all the shit i said above. 

also, im seriously working on my cover letter for the all songs considered internship for summer. i’ve always been so scared to work on the letter because im afraid that i wont get the position again. but this time, since i want to get distracted from all this angelica bullshit, i am really focusing on getting it right as best as i can. all the other times i applied i made stupid mistakes. this time, i’ll get everything right. the email from npr internships encouraging me to apply is surprisingly motivating. 

i made a brainstorm about what ideas i’ll bring to the table, how to write my letter in an engaging yet informative way, and just to motivate myself to actually get it done and get it done right. honestly, i really want to put the work in and get the position. it’ll be such a plus for this year if i do get it.

now in terms of preparing myself to actually fly over and live there for the duration, im applying to food service places to make some money. i wanna be able to work part time in two places so i can use one paycheck for everyday expenses (and paying off loans for part of it) and use another paycheck purely for future DC living expenses. 

if all songs doesn’t work out, not going to lie, im going to be upset, but hopefully not so much if my plan B comes through.

plan B is applying for part time promotion assistant positions for stations like KROQ then applying for a part time position at amoeba. i know amoeba wont be so long, but it would be really cool getting to say i work there for any length of time. hopefully i either climb up the ladder on the promotions assistant job and eventually work full time. if not, then i’ll use the time to apply for other full-time positions. 

somewhere along the way, i want to look for programs that’ll help me gain confidence in my writing skills. tbh college did not help at all. i just know how to write a 5 paragraph essay. i dont know how to convince people of something i want, i dont know how to add spice and variety to a paper. i dont know how to sound like myself in a professional paper. good writing will go a long way.