#this actually fits a little bit with my Modern AU’s extended lore

[here-comes-the-moose]

Does your brain ever put information together just to hurt you?

Because mine just did.

I was thinking about how much Crosshair values loyalty and how much betrayal hurts him. Then I was thinking about my headcanon that he has awful taste in men and my other headcanons that he feels very deeply and falls for someone super fast and super hard…

Then my brain was like “wow if one of his exes ever cheated on him he was probably DEVASTATED.”

So now I’m sad.

[nullanythorm-ao3]

Hiccup/Hiro/Varian OT3 FFXIV Headcanons

Stuck on my next fanfiction update? Time to bust out one of my OT3 headcanon posts again! The next chapter of Chemistry in Motion IS on the way, I promise you. But for the time being I’m a bit braindead - and being obsessed with playing Final Fantasy XIV with my friends isn’t helping. Instead of Variro and Varian & Honey Lemon sibling fluff, my brain has thought, “Okay, but what if the OT3 either played FFXIV or just existed in Eorzea?” and hasn’t stopped. 

So, instead of the Camp Halfbood concepts I was planning on doing next, you get this. 

Let’s start with easy mode: races

This part was simple. The only one that really gave me any trouble was Varian, really. I have certain things I associate each of the boys with - and two of those things just so happen to have races in Final Fantasy, so let’s go!

Hiccup is an Au Ra. They’re half-dragon, all-awesome, and Au Ra males are some of the tallest characters in the game!!! Second only to Roegadyn, I think. So Hiccup is TOL. If this is a concept of an AU where they exist in Eorzea as Warriors of Light - I feel like Hiccup’s the type that seems intimidating at first, the tall half-dragon man - but is actually just a soft cinnamon roll who’s hopelessly in love with his two boyfriends, but we’ll get to that part, eventually.

Hiro is a Mi’qote! Maybe because of Mochi, but I just can’t stop associating him with cats. So, naturally, I’m just going to keep doing it. Mi’qote are a moderate, slightly below-average height race. Also cat ears and tails, and the “mission complete” screen after dungeons has male mi’qote do a little happy ear wriggle, and it’s cute. I feel like Hiccup and Varian play with his ears a lot - like, a lot of scratching behind them or rubbing them for cute, fluffy, affectionate moments. He’s small, sassy, and about to get some world-saving s*** done, okay?

Varian. Varian was difficult. On one end I considered Hyur - just a simple smol human (though you can’t really make Male Hyur that short in-game, closer to average height really). But then I thought maybe Lalafell, make him super smol and cute. But actually, I’m going with my favorite race in the game: Varian’s an Elezen. For two reasons. 1) if this is a matter of them playing the game - Varian’s the type I could see wanting to play a character taller than he is, and Elezen are pretty darn tall. 2) As for if they exist in Eorzea, we’ve seen through the examples of Alphinaud and Alisaie that young Elezen can be quite small!!! Varian with pointy elf ears is also adorable fight me. Anyway. I feel like he’d definitely be a “runt of the litter” Elezen. Taller than Hiro, but still on the short side. Maybe it comes from Ulla (if you include 7k in this) being an Elezen, but Quirin being a Hyur or another shorter race that kind of dwarfs his growth a bit? 

Okay, so let’s talk roles

Note: roles. Not classes. For the FFXIV uninitiated, one of the coolest things about this MMO is that you’re not tied down to one class. There are several classes within certain roles - Healer, Tank, Melee DPS, Ranged DPS, Magical DPS - and you can swap between those classes freely. There’s even disciple of the hand - crafting classes. And disciple of the land - gathering classes. We won’t talk about those as rolls, but I’ll bring them up when I talk about the squad’s main classes later. For now, let’s talk about the roles they prefer for adventuring, dungeons, raids, etc. 

Hiccup is a tank! Tank classes are his first choice, without a doubt. He’s kind of the leader of the squad without meaning to be. He protects Hiro and Varian, and kind of keeps the other two in line and out of trouble with the rest of the party (because these two are SASSY and will cause trouble, trust me), whether it’s only one other person just running a dungeon or a whole raid alliance. In large parties, he’s quick to defer to someone else if they want to be the main tank. He’s not the ‘fighting for dominance’ type. Other than tanking, he enjoys melee DPS and healing, and uses magic DPS the least.

Hiro usually plays ranged DPS! Honestly, his central roles are basically all the DPS roles, but he likes Ranged most because of mobility, and ability to take things out from afar without worrying about his DPS dropping too much from dodging big attacks. Other than that, he enjoys magical DPS for range and Melee for mobility. His least-used role is healing, because caretaker he is NOT. Some of his ranged DPS classes have utility, and that’s good enough for him. 

Then, for a well-rounded team, Varian’s main role is Healer. This comes mostly from his tendency to be “support” in most situations. He is, overall, a sweet boy who wants to look out for and help his friends (even if he can be self-centered). He’s definitely the sassy healer that will get passive aggressive with bad tanks in big parties or if Hiccup isn’t tanking. “I couldn’t keep up. So sorry, I’ll try harder next time if you try harder not to over-extend. Okay, thanks”, “The Dragoon is floor tanking? Guess who’s going back to the start of the dungeon because I’m not ressurecting them”, “Hiro, for the last time. We DODGE attacks first, shoot later. If you get hit for extensive damage because of a dumb mistake again I am NOT healing you”. THAT Healer. He’s also the best technical player of the three though (if this is the ‘they’re just playing the game’ situation), so he has the skill to back up the sass. Also, he flirts with Hiccup whenever he clutch heals him, or whenever Hiccup thanks him for heals, and it breaks Hiccup’s brain. Outside of healing, I think he’d like magical DPS and ranged DPS, and tanks the least.

On to actual classes/jobs now!

So here’s how this is going to work. We’ll be talking about the classes in their primary roles. What’s their main class, and ranking the classes within their main role in order of most to least used. After that, we’ll talk about some outlier classes. Classes from other roles they enjoy playing that they might play often or that I think suit them(A note: we’ll only be going over a couple, and no matter what outliers I mention, the role rankings from the previous section are the priority in knowing what and how they play). Then we’ll talk about their crafting/gathering classes of choice. 

Hiccup

 So, we mostly see Hiccup with a sword and shield, so naturally his main job is Paladin. It was what stuck out in my head, especially since I wanted him to main tank. It’s the balanced, all-rounder tank as well - which I think suits Hiccup. After that, there’s Warrior. Our big, brutal axe swingers. This one’s focused more on his viking heritage. Battle Axes run in that blood, don’t they? Then, there’s Dark Knight. The enormous sword is cool, but Hiccup isn’t really the ‘dark, brooding, edgy’ type. So I don’t think DK would really be his style aesthetically. Gunbreaker is the one he’d use least. It’s a cool class, but the more modern gunblade just doesn’t scream “Hiccup” to me. I think he’d enjoy the damage output, but feels better with normal weapons like swords and axes in his hands. 

So the first outlier for Hiccup is something FFXIV fans might see coming. Dragoon. Hiccup with a spear is cool, but this is mostly for the lore. For those who don’t know - Dragoon’s lore is all about dragon slaying. They’re spearmen trained in Ishgard as part of the Dragonsong war - valiant defender of the city and slayers of dragons. Sound familiar? Similar to his actual story, I love Hiccup picking up the spear and being ready to fight dragons - but he’s a sweet bean and still tries his best to broker a peace when he learns how intelligent dragons are. 

The other outlier I’d like to discuss for Hiccup is White Mage. The ‘taking from the spirits and nature’ vibe I think really suits his personality. He loves his island, and the dragons that live there, and everything around him. Not QUITE a tree hugger or anything, but preserving nature and caring for its creatures would definitely be important to him. It’s probably his main healer role.  

As for crafting and gathering. Blacksmithing and Armorsmithing are probably his central crafts, so he probably does a lot of mining as his gathering class. He spends a lot of time in the forge, after all! I could also see him delving into a little carpentry, what with all the tinkering and mechanics he works with. 

Hiro

When I thought about Hiro, my first thought was “machinist”. The steampunk vibe it has fits Hiro being the most modern of the three boys, I think. Also, a robotic/automaton partner/minion? YES. After that is Dancer. He probably picked it up for a laugh, not expecting much, then wound up hooked. He enjoys making either Hiccup or Varian his dance partner and flirting with whoever it is incessantly. With Varian, it’s just a back-and-forth of witty flirting and laughing. With Hiccup, he actively takes up a two-sided flirting front with Varian and well... if Hiccup breaks with just Varian flirting, adding Hiro makes it worse. He plays Bard the least, but still enjoys it. “He’s not much of a singer”, he often jokes whenever he stretches his Bard muscles. In the ‘they’re just playing the game’ universe, I feel like he forgets his song utility a lot and just focuses on doing as much damage as possible. Because that’s kind of his schtick. 

An outlier for him would be Red Mage. I think he’d like the quick, easy casting with Dualcast, and the fun melee rotation. He’d be the type that enjoys using Displacement just for the flair - and always gets a talking to from Varian whenever he accidentally flips off the edge of a platform. So, you’re not allowed to play Dragoon, Hiro (he plays it anyway).

And the other outlier is Gunbreaker. Again with giving the guns to the more modern member of the squad. However (and I’ve hardly touched my tank  classes so I can’t say anything here), it’s a running joke that Gunbreaker is for “people who want to try tank, but still kind of want to be DPS”, and I love that. It’s kind of perfect for Hiro. 

So for crafting and gathering. Hiro would probably be a Goldsmith and Leatherworker. Leatherworker for practicality - because I think Hiro’s definitely the most practical  of the three. Goldsmith because he likes to tinker with things and I can definitely see the precision work of accessory making suiting him. Now, normally that would probably mean he’d spend most of his time mining - but there are exactly three gathering classes in the game, so I like to think they’d try to round each other out. So, Hiro’s going to spend most of his time fishing. One, because cats and fish jokes. Two, because it’s just kind of chill and less work (or at least labor) and knowing Hiro I could see him going for that.

Varian

Varian’s main class would most DEFINITELY be scholar. He just seems to gravitate toward my favorite things. I think of all the magic-based classes. The arcanist set would be his favorite since it focuses more on logic and strategy. Scholar, especially, deals with hunting down a centuries-old plague on an ancient civilization and a lot of things I can very easily equate to the black rocks and dark kingdom. Also, he gets to summon a fairy and COME ON. That’s adorable. He probably talks to the fairy (usually Eos), because that’s just him. Second main healing class is White Mage, similar to Hiccup. The nature vibe just seems to suit him. He seems good with animals and the whole natural element just works since he seems to enjoy the outdoors and comes from a farming family/village, let’s not forget! Then Astrologian would be last. He wouldn’t really be into the astrology/future sight but I think he would have fun with the star vibes and (in Eorzea universe) would learn the uses of the future reading and get more invested in it, eventually. 

An outlier of mention for Varian is Summoner. I mentioned before that he enjoys arcanima for its focus on logic, strategy, and value of intelligence, so, naturally, Scholar’s opposite would work well with him too. Also the carbuncles make me think of Ruddiger for whatever reason. Look at him! I love the concept of him summoning his carbuncle and it just crawling up his back and wrapping around his shoulders. He summons the Egis too! He knows how to play his job! He just really loves the carbuncles. 

The other outlier for him of special mention is Bard. I think he’d like it, because he can be DPS but still give the party utility. Also. Come on, this boy can SING and he’s going to take advantage of it. God-tier bard for his singing voice alone, right here. Hiccup and Hiro low-key get excited whenever he pulls out the bow, because it means they get to hear their boy sing (because even in the universe where it’s just a game, Varian totally sings on whatever method of call they use for a lot of the dungeon whenever he plays bard). 

Crafting classes. It surprises no one. He’s an Alchemist. Possibly a culinarian. His gathering class is botanist, the only one left. He spends a lot of time with plants, natural elements, and alchemy to make potions and all that jazz. He is very passionate about his crafting job and is probably the biggest crafter of the group. ALCHEMY!

And now for some miscellaneous headcanons

So, if it’s just the OT3 playing the game - Varian is the biggest roleplayer, no question. He slips into character ALL the time and it makes Hiro and Hiccup chuckle a little, but they always play along. He got the two of them to enjoy the roleplaying aspect, even. 

They each have their own squads/groups they play/adventure with, and they almost always change up their roles with those groups. 

For Hiccup - he’s basically in a group full of people who want to be tanks. It’s a constant battle for dominance (that Astrid almost always wins, unless she gives a pity win to Snotlout occasionally or lets Hiccup take out of respect for his tanking ability). Most of the time, Hiccup just shrugs it off and goes DPS or healer depending on if Fishlegs is there to heal or not.

Hiro usually tanks for his team. Mostly because Gogo refuses to level anything but DPS, Wasabi suffers from tanxiety and usually either heals or goes ranged, Honey Lemon does whatever Wasabi isn’t doing, and Fred is... Fred. 

Varian’s group is well-balanced, but they each have their preferences. Cass or Lance are usually the tank, Eugene’s usually a melee DPS (probably ninja), and Rapunzel is almost always the squad healer (tho she defers to Varian for that role occasionally). So he’s usually DPS in that group. 

Still, they work best together in their main roles. Their favorite times are when they’re adventuring together, as much as they love their friends. 

Hiccup and Varian occasionally tease Hiro for being the shortest of the group - to which he usually groans and complains. But they use their tank/healer status to prevent him from messing with them because “I can always turn off my tank stance you know”, or “I mean if you don’t want healing, by all means”. He hates it when they do that.

They usually make up for it by giving him a TON of presents, though. They’re both frugal with gil compared to him, so if there’s some new shiny, expensive thing on the market he wants and doesn’t have the money for, Varian or Hiccup can usually swing it for him.

Hiccup likes to surprise Varian with gifts too. It’s the one one time he can make Varian flustered, and he quite enjoys it. 

If any Elezen bully Varian for being a runt (in the setting where they’re adventurers in Eorzea), they can expect to meet with the business end of Hiccup or Hiro’s weapons. They won’t hesitate.