#this a nonprofit baby who cares that much lmao

[champagnemoon]

The director of my department keeps hinting that she’s going to start working with IT to track our key strokes or whatever on our laptops and this last time she said it somebody immediately resigned and bcc’d a bunch of people lmaooo

[simphibians]

this is my submission for @dagdagsims beguiling the heirs bachelor challenge (?) this is admittedly WAY more than i’ve done for any sim i’ve made.. ever LMAO but once i got started i couldn’t stop so .... enjoy my sim babies, under the cut is a massive “interview” i made so @dagdagsims could get a better feel how they present themselves 

Camping or Binge Watching Shows at Home?

Ashlyn: watching shows at home all the way,,, well it would depend on where and how we were camping, would it be camping or glamping? and the weather? If it was nice.. maybe, but if it was humid? gag no huge pass then 

Fin: watching shows, I do not have time for all those bugs, ugh I’m getting the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it 

Coffee Cup or Thermos?

Ash: Thermos I’m on the go far too much for that.

Fin: coffee cup, for me thermos just leave this... metallic taste? if I need to take my coffee I use a reusable cup rather than a thermos, because I’m not too worried about temp control, I only drink it iced

. Soup or Sandwich?

Ash: weather dependant 

Fin: Yeah, very weather dependant, I will not eat a deli sandwich when it’s snowing out, now am I? 

While walking: Music or Podcasts?

Ash: music all the way, I would get too distracted in podcasts.

Fin: podcasts, I think I would end up dancing rather than walking if I had music

At a movie: Candy or Popcorn?

Ash: Popcorn,,, oooo the possibilities are endless. Plus, who said you couldn’t add candy TO the popcorn ;) 

Fin: ... Ash.. you.. astonish me sometimes.. also neither, I don’t care all that much for snacky foods, I’m a health junkie in its sorts

Tablet or Computer?

Ash: neither. my phone

Fin: depends on my workload, if I have loads to do I feel more productive on my computer as I’m almost,, locked? to a certain area, because my tablet I can go anywhere, so I find myself distracted 

Toilet paper: over or under?

Both at the same time: under.

Working Alone or Working in a Team?

Ash: team for sure, it’s no fun doing things alone

Fin: I don’t connect to people in the same way Ashlyn does, but it would be impossible to run my nonprofit alone. 

Okay! Just a last few more serious questions and we’ll send you on your way, how’s that sound?

Ash: Let’s do it

Fin: ha.. ha sure! 

What drew you to meeting Atticus and Imogen? 

Ash: oh! easy! my PR manager brought up the show to me and I was making fun of it but Fin here dared me to join! but now the more I read about Imogen the more I get this little pang of excitement, I love meeting new people and I make my living off of traveling and doing just that, so I’m just excited to travel, meet a beautiful woman, and whatever comes out of it, comes out of it. y’know?

Fin, crazy blushing mess: I.. well.. *clears throat* Ash showed me the flyer for the production and me being me thought nothing of it besides daring her to join, I forgot who I was talking to and my brain clicked as hers lit and I realized at that point she was going to give me puppy dog eyes until I followed with her. So here I am, not as cute as her story, I’m... a little nervous? I feel like this thing is out of my comfort zone, but first and foremost I would do almost anything for ash, and... I will not lie... Atticus... mmm.. let’s just leave it there if ya get me

What’s something you want to learn or wish you were better at?

Ash:.. hm... I wish I was better at slowing down and taking things in the moment, I’m always on the go, and while that brings me nice opportunities and I’m not ungrateful for the experiences I get to take part in but I find myself in situations where I’m not living in the moment or for myself but for others and sometimes I wish I could just... I don’t know disappear into the selvadorian jungles for a moment, go off-grid and recoup, okay now that I’m thinking maybe not the jungle, bugs, humidity, hmm nope. maybe I’m destined to be a cottage core lesbian? eh? *laughs* 

Fin: I feel like wanting to learn or be better at things is just a normal human experience, like... what’s life if you’re not addressing things and adapting to the surrounding changes? so I just wish I had a more natural ability to adapt as changes are anxiety-inducing but I realize things change for a reason.. so perhaps I wish I was better at accepting change, and god an instrument I want to learn an instrument, we have a piano at our house that ash drug in from god knows where but I’m TERRIFIED to touch it!!! I’m inept to musical abilities, trust me, you don’t want to be around when I’m singing in the shower might lose the ability to process a decibel or two after that! 

Alright, guys! Just one last question, what are some personality quirks you’d like the producer and show team know about yourself that hasn’t been touched on?

Ash: uh... To be honest, I can adapt to everything? I like an enjoyable challenge; I’m not shy, I’m an open person, but besides that, I feel confident in how I’ve expressed myself. 

Fin: nope! I think we’re wonderful; we got it all, gay dads, trans, queer, deaf, oh vegetarian I am very vegetarian, meat .... animal meat, grosses me out I can’t, I used to as a kid but god I don’t miss it, yuck the blood, I despise it! But other than that, I too feel hopeful in my character representation, so... that’s it?

That’s it, guys! Thank you so much for your participation, I’m excited for you guys to meet the twins, it’ll be exciting to see how this blossoms, or fails? Who knows?!

[teamjacobthot]

issa twilight tag game baybee

pick 5-10 characters and write your take on the canon version of them vs. fanon version of them. fanon doesn’t have to be what is generally accepted in the fandom, it can be your own idea of what you think a character is like. then tag the same number of people as characters you pick, if you can.

I was tagged by @leahclearwaterdefensesquad so let’s get into it baybeeee

Jacob

Canon:

Absolutely 1000% adored him and his pure goodness and supportive nature up until Smeyer suddenly wrote him as a violent piece of shit and blamed it on phasing (??????)

And THEN made him a permanent house dog of the Cullens in Breaking Dawn…….. 

Y’all already know how I feel about all that so I’m not getting into it

But trash

Done dirty only bc Smeyer realized she wrote a likable love interest and had to SQUASH that shit instead of making Edward more likable :|

We been knew

Fanon:

HOWEVER

I’ve actually really, really come to love some of the fanon takes of Jacob on here!!! 

I never really had a personal headcanon before the Twilight Renaissance besides “he fixes cars, he gives good hugs, and he’s kinda sad”

This is still true but that man (rn I’m thinking of Jacob as like… a 22 year old) is CRAFTY. 

I love the fanon takes where he sells his handmade jewelry on Etsy and starts his own mechanic shop

I love a man who’s good with his hands

In my personal headcanon now, he definitely works to start his own shop or goes to college to become an engineer, has some unresolved feelings about his sisters abandoning him that eventually get resolved with time, enjoys hanging out with Billy and admires him, probably makes jewelry for his friends’ and family’s birthdays

And would make the best dad ever in the future

He’s also super patient and treats his friends like family because his own family is so fragmented

I also imagine that he can’t fucking cook but he still tries. 

Btw I reject ALL forms of canon where Jacob and any other members of the pack end up hanging out with the Cullens for eternity bc those pasty mfs ruined their lives and need to MOVE AWAY so the pack can finally get some PEACE

Bella

Canon:

Horny white girl

No friends

Doesn’t cuss

Gets married and has a baby at 18 despite literally being Team Fuck Them Kids

Fanon: 

Ngl, I’ve really disconnected with the fandom when it comes to Bella

I do agree that she stays horny

But I do think the fandom sometimes overdoes it in terms of how chaotic she is bc she just… doesn’t give me that kind of vibe. She definitely wasn’t in her right mind in New Moon so that doesn’t count

In fact I find her mentally ill and I really really really want her to get a therapist

I don’t really care for Vampire Bella bc I felt that she lost all the parts of her personality that I really enjoyed

But when it comes to Human Bella, she’s just a chill girl

She’s a Virgo. She was an adult at like, 12

In my personal headcanon, she gets the distance she needs from her mother (I think she has mommy issues tbh) and learns to be an adult not for anybody’s sake but her OWN

She doesn’t necessarily go to college, but she does what she wants

And I genuinely believe she would NOT want a kid before the age of like… 27, if at all

She would live her life at a comfortable place, have lots of sex lmao, and actually make some friends too

Not a lot for friends, just a couple good ones, Jacob included

I’ve always written her/liked seeing her written as humorous but in a super dark way — self-deprecating, sarcastic, DRY, etc. 

She definitely cusses a lot bc she finds there’s a LOT to cuss about

She absolutely smokes weed bc do y’all see how stressed she is??? She deserves it!

Let Bella Smoke A Blunt 2020

Leah Thee Clearwater

Canon:

Bitter :(

Mean “for no reason” :((((

Needs to get over it :/

Hilarious

Fanon:

The fanon depictions of Leah are my favorite so far but they do vary A LOT

I don’t really care for Leah x Angela bc while they are two tall queens, EYE frankly think Leah is too good for anybody we’ve met in the saga and needs a fresh start anyway

And staying in boring ass Clallam County for a gf does not sound like the move

I’m personally a fan of the fanon where Leah moves away after all the bullshit with the Cullens, maybe goes to school, gets a good paying job that’s actually meaningful work too, and never has to phase again

I think about Leah’s life before phasing A LOT. In my mind, she was a semi-popular athlete with hella friends and admirers but still strong and opinionated. She protects girls and women and makes sure to hold people accountable when they fuck up

Overall, my headcanon of Leah is just Canon Leah but if the world was less cruel to her. 

She’s perfect the way she is and I love her <3

Charlie

Canon:

Disgruntled cop

Drinks beer

Hates Edward

Loves Alice

Fanon:

The general fanon for Charlie is more or less the same as Canon Charlie which is like… fine

But he’s still a cop

So in my personal headcanon, he leaves the police force to do work that actually helps Forks like something within community engagement

Maybe he does volunteer work on the Quileute reservation too

Idk I just want him to be useful and not a cop

Rosalie

Canon:

Cold

Mean

Blonde

Doesn’t like Bella

Fanon:

Ok so even though she’s immortal I really imagine she’d like to be around babies and pregnant women as much as possible

I think she would do amazing as an OBGYN despite her hands being all cold lmao

IMAGINE ROSALIE DELIVERING BABIES!!!! (ASSUMING HER HANDS AREN’T TOO COLD!!!!!!)

If she couldn’t be around pregnant women and babies as much as possible I imagine her having her own mechanic shop (possibly shared with Jacob, if they could tolerate each other)

Imagine her working on cars…… I’m w*t

I could also really imagine her fucking it up in an nonprofit organization as an advocate for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault

Overall I really appreciate the fanon that she’s soft at times and does more than just fuck lmao

Quil Ateara Thee Fifth

Canon:

Likes girls

Likes cars

Likes to hang with his friends

Fanon:

All of what’s given in canon

But he’s actually HILARIOUS

And maybe a SoundCloud rapper

The fandom doesn’t talk about Quil enough and I want that to change

Embry

Canon:

Has some sense

Pretty chill overall

Fanon:

Same as canon but WE FINALLY LEARN WHO HIS DAD IS

I feel like it’s Sam’s dad but I want confirmation

WHAT IS THE TRUTH

off the top of my head i’m tagging @rosaliehalee @bellas-dumptruck-ass @fucksmeyer @clearwaterss @embrythecall @that-crooked-smile @witchyangela and absolutely anybody who wants to do this!!!

[aranea-mechanica]

Was work good or bad? Or just busy?

(( pdfgsd dear lord. well if you really must know...

tl;dr my work is always crazy but it was a special brand of crazy today and while i loved the challenge it was also hella draining

i work with kids at a crisis nursery - we’re a nonprofit where parents can drop off their kids (birth thru 6yo) for up to 72 hrs while in crisis, no $$ & no strings attached, so they can do what they need to do without having to worry about their kids on top of whatever’s going on. it’s not the easiest job, and often the kids come from really rough places and households, but i really care about my job and i really enjoy nurturing the kids while they’re in our care, and i’m decent about keeping chill & having a sense of humor while doing it - even today, lmao.

every day i’m responsible for four kids, and staff switches out age groups each day. today i was supposed to work with the youngest group, babies, but the way the groups shook out i ended up getting one 6mo and three 2yo, which, if you know anything about kids, 6mo are the cute little nuggets you hold and have to help feed and can’t sit up on their own yet most of the time and basically cry and eat and poop and sleep. and 2yo... are adorable, but holy terrors sometimes, definitely developing personality and crazy mobility and liberally using the word “NO” whenever possible along with occasional pushing and biting and whatnot. also their noses are snot faucets. trufax.

so it’s just me and this unbalanced group, and i have to make sure the baby is tended to properly and gets bottles and naps at decent times and snuggles and tummy time bbbbbut also there are three rambunctious toddlers sprinting in other directions who need love and attention too and all they really want is to play in the gym with any toys they can get their sticky little hands on. 

and then there are 16 other kids in the building too, and we have to balance how many kids are in which rooms so that it doesn’t get overwhelming, esp for kids with sensory processing difficulties - one of my toddlers definitely was much better regulated in smaller groups and quieter places, so i took that into account. and wrangling these kids is like herding cats, and i only have so many arms to carry babies and bottles and charts (ah yeah i have to fill out a lot of documentation about the kids while they stay with us). and god forbid i forget my coffee. dear lord almighty. i need that like i need blood in my veins, but i also can’t take my eye off my thermos so a kid doesn’t drink it. before you ask - yes, it literally happened two days ago, and that wasn’t the first time :’)

also we constantly have kids&families coming and going and have to account for that in the groups and in our schedules. i had one kid go home and a half hour later a new kid took their spot, and the process for admitting the new kid requires a bit of work too, so there was that...

and a few of the other children in the building had particularly challenging behaviors (some of which were unsafe/violent), and i’m fairly good at working with kids with challenging behaviors and am generally ready to jump in whenever anyone needs me - so i almost got asked to switch groups to deal with that. instead i got assigned to help one of the big-behavior kids at naptime, which was an Ordeal esp since naptime is super emotional for most kids, but at least it was a change of pace from one baby and three toddlers, right?

the CRAZIEST thing is that, like... this isn’t too unusual for me at work most days? i’d say every day is a new type of challenge, it just varies in flavor. today was a bit more hectic than usual though, the pace was faster, and i had to be on my feet at all times ready to chase after a stray toddler or whatnot. i made it through my shift without getting too drained, but on days like this i come home and just pass the fuck out, y’know? just got up from a two-hour nap, like. i adore these kids and i care so much about giving them a safe place to just be kids, but they be crazy sometimes.

...also if you made it through this whole ramble, like, wow, give yourself a pat on the back or a high five or SOMETHING. this got longer than i expected, but i wanted to share a little of my irl? and YOU ASKED. you asked. you brought this upon yourself. remember that, my friend. (honestly i do really appreciate the ask tho, whoever sent it, so thanku