#this 'be more gay' thing is interesting and actually not surprising :/ but really unfortunate :////

[eldritch-spouse]

Ima be real honest when I first came to your blog ages ago the designs of Ludwig and Santi made me assume it was a gay (mlm specifically) blog (due to most male characters being so when presented in that way), which would have been fine but it’s not really the kind of thing I’m interested in often so I probably wouldn’t have stuck around.

I was pleasantly surprised to find out that most of your characters are bisexual and also that your blog is mostly geared towards women as most of the monster stuff I’ve come across has been geared towards men, which has made it annoying to try and find things more relevant in the past. Whenever I have actually occasionally come across monsterfucker content geared towards women in the past it’s usually just been humans that hardly look monstrous in the slightest (aka maybe they just have fangs) or are too far on the other end of the spectrum where it almost just feels like beastiality

No- No anon- You can't just drop this in my hands and take off running. What. What do you- Be honest. Do I have the artstyle of a gay man? Putting that one aside (which I will need to unpack rsrsrs)-

I absolutely understand what you're saying. More below.

While a lot of the monsterfucker content I consume is veered towards women, most of that content is written. Because when it's drawn, it doesn't always meet my standards, just like it doesn't for you. It could be because the character is indeed too humanoid, because it's generic werewolf_#32980, they're too pretty, or anything else really. It's hard to explain but it doesn't always hit the spot.

I'll concede that sometimes it's quite hard to determine how sentient a described monster is, but you can always explicitly impart sentience onto them as the creator (like a licker from RE, for example. Sentience? Ehh, questionable. But a licker OC who retains sentience after transforming? Okay with me.) Unfortunately, some people like to lump teratophilia and literal animals in the same bag. I've had one admitted zoo follow me, instant block naturally.

A lot of the inspiration and personal favorite monster drawings of mine are, actually, made by gay men. They draw monsters better, I just can't pinpoint why. I like the style better, which inhuman features they choose to incorporate and how they do it. A lot of it is from gay furry artists that don't even consider themselves monsterfuckers yet draw monsters like they were born for it. I like it when they're cartoony yet still hot, they have more style variety, I think. There's so much to like that you often don't see in a woman monsterfucker's work. It saddened me a lot, before I started making my own content, that all of it was for men. Thus my enjoyment was always a bit tainted by disappointment.

I never made a conscious effort to emulate the style of mlm artists, truly. I just try to draw what I like. But a lot of what I sometimes attempt to syphon into my art comes from possibly mlm or not entirely originally women-oriented styles, yes.

You've made me question the vibes of my own art now. 🤔

[rewrite-this-story]

I know no one watches this show, and that's really unfortunate, but I have so many thoughts about Smash that I want to share, so you all get to either hear them or ignore this post entirely. I don't really care which.

First of all, Megan Hilty is an absolute queen!! I wish her name was more well known on Broadway because wow. Her voice is so powerful and I cry every time I hear her sing don't forget me. And I actually love ivy as a character with all my heart. She's beautiful and strong and so interesting. Yeah, she's flaws and human, but she tries so hard. I was so happy when she started getting the recognition she deserved in season 2. She makes mistakes, but then she gets back up every time. I also think she had incredible potential for directing and would have like to see that explored. She just deserved better in general.

I also don't like Karen at all. Not only is she kinda boring as a character, but she's not nearly as talented as everyone seems to think. Yeah, she's pretty and has a gorgeous voice, but she's really just a so-so actress and dancer. Her songs rarely make me feel anything like Ivy's do. At the end of season 1, I only cried during her version of don't forget me because I felt Ivy's frustration so deeply. Also, Karen is kinda rude and arrogant. Like, she has no clue how theater works but acts like everyone else is constantly out to get her just because they're asking her to do something differently. She can't remember her blocking and then complains that people don't like her. And she's so sensitive. No one can tease her or even comment anything that isn't 100% positive about her without her getting upset. Furthermore, Ivy's an interesting character who makes us really care about her because of how hard she tries and fails only to get back up again. Then, they throw in her past and emotional trauma and struggles with addiction. It's really hard not to care about and root for her. Why should I care about Karen? I liked hit list only because of Jimmy, Kyle, and even Anna. Karen didn't matter at all to me because she didn't really have to struggle or fight for anything. She was kinda just along for the ride.

Third thing, Derek sucks and is super problematic, but it was nice to see him stay to grow and improve. I would've liked to see where season 3 might've taken him. I do really like his relationship with Ivy because she calls him out on stuff, and he actually listens to her. It was dumb that he never saw how truly incredible an actress she was. They would have made a great team after she really became more sure of herself and he realized how awful he was. His obsession with Karen was really weird, but I like to imagine he probably got over it by the end of season 2.

Tom and Julia were interesting, but I was actually happy to see them split at the end of everything. She always kind of took advantage of him and it bothered me. He also deserved a real relationship story, but I'm not surprised he didn't get one since he was a gay character in 2012. His relationship with Kyle was kinda creepy and Kyle should've dated either Sam or that dancer we saw him flirting with earlier in the season. Either one of those would've been less uncomfortable. Him and Sam were also never really a good match. Plus, he did Sam kinda dirty in season 2. But yeah, he should've gotten a good relationship.

I do think Sam should've gotten the lead in hit list. He deserved it, Jimmy didn't. Jimmy did a good job, obviously, but he wasn't reliable and was really uncooperative. He could've just given feedback as a writer instead of being the lead actor. I get why they did it the way they did for the TV show, but realistically, it just didn't make sense.

Kyle's death was awful. I wish we saw more of him. I think his relationship and history with Jimmy was interesting, I think it should've been explorers more instead of Jimmy and Karen, who's relationship was kinda predictable and overused. It would've been nice to see him and Jimmy sing together sometime. I wish he sang a few more songs in general because he has a really cool sound.

Jimmy and Derek also could've had a really interesting relationship if it hadn't centered around Karen as much as it did. I think they could've really helped each other. Jimmy didn't take any bullshit and Derek didn't put up with any bullshit, so they could've kept each other in line. Derek also saw something in Jimmy that few people did and I think it would've been neat to see him become a bit of a mentor.

Finally, Derek and Tom had so much potential that was never explored. Their history and their future are so unclear, but I have so many questions.

So yeah, I really did enjoy the show. It's not the most incredible show ever made, but it was fun and interesting. It's a shame it only got two seasons. I kinda blame the marketing team since so few people know it ever existed.

[yinwaryuri]

It's easy to complain about how MSP left any address toward homophobia to the last episode and it remained fairly mild but I really wanted to point out what things about it were incredibly significant.

They could have kept it like Bad Buddy where it was a universe where it didn't really exist or just wasn't mentioned. They could have totally done that. I wouldn't have blamed them for that choice either, considering the tone of the series remaining so lighthearted throughout. Homophobia is more than just a serious issue - it can have dangerous implications. The closest this show wanted to get with danger was Gun's mom needing surgery, so before watching the episode I was really curious about how they would handle it.

Starting from the beginning of the episode and seeing the contrast between Gun telling his mom about Tinn, and Tinn's mom seeing how scared her son is and deciding not to ask. Gun has such a wonderful relationship with his mother. She's all he has for family and they have come to love and depend on each other so much, and the show has given us enough clues to the way she thinks that her supporting her son without issue was no surprise. Tinn's mother has been set up to appear that she feels differently, but it all boils down to her worrying for him rather than about him. Tinn gets his supportive, protective way of loving from her (which is the sweetest thing to me, considering their relationship isn't as strong). All she wants is for him to go through life without having to jump over hurdles for his happiness. Considering the privileges he's had as her son, it troubles her that he felt any reason to hide his true relationship with Gun and only wants to assure him that he could have come to her about it earlier. She sees his fear and rightly decides to let him come forward when he chooses.

The deal with the photo outing them and how all that goes down was interesting. It goes without saying, whoever took the picture had no business posting about them and it's unfortunate they never get found and reprimanded for their actions. What I loved was how the show chose to demonstrate how attitudes have really changed among younger generations. The whole conversations about "no one cares!" and "I think we were too afraid in the beginning," were really great points to make. The more exposure the younger generations have had to queer identities through media and people being open about them in real life, the more freedoms we have gained. Sometimes letting fear hold you back can suffocate you. Being outed is awful, but showing that you can not be a jackass about it is important. Also, don't go after my boy Gun for trying to give them a cover story, because this was the one circumstance where he saw Tinn being more at risk than him and he acted the way he thought Tinn would for him. It ended up not really mattering anyway, because people supported them and Tinn understood that's what Gun was trying to do.

And then we got the few bad opinions from the older generation. From a teacher they had all previously respected! Because unfortunately, disappointingly, that is so incredibly common. Even his way of trying to explain "oh I don't actually hate you guys I just don't take you seriously," was so important to include. Homophobes will try to twist their ideas into something that's less than the hateful bullshit it is and out themselves being as reductive as they truly are. Of course, it got escalated for the sake of run time and getting the issue dealt with immediately. Thank you Kajorn for having a pretty awesome come to jesus gay moment.

Finally, my favorite part!! Tinn's mom not only making it clear she's okay with his relationship but explaining just how offensive his teacher had actually been. I really thought her position as the school principal would remain as a wedge between her and Tinn because it was treated that way for so long. I didn't expect it to have any more use than that. But having an authority figure of a school openly call out their colleague and show support for her students meant so much to me! Reminder: this story sets out to say that teen's experiences are not trivial and they're people with hopes and dreams and struggles and have much less say in their daily lives. Adults stepping up and supporting children is so necessary. Adults stepping up and protecting queer children is a desperate need. Any other school principal doing less than that is unworthy of their job. And it goes without saying that being his mother and being so openly supportive before he's even had a chance to ask her is just the cherry on top.

The homophobia arc wasn't for everyone but it had intent and purpose and it executed it just right for me. It said "yeah we know it's there but it's horseshit tbh so we're having our boys sing to each other on stage knowing the most important people in their lives have their back." And then they got to say "I love you" and share their first kiss in the privacy they deserved.

[rius-cave]

Hey! It’s the anon that hadn’t watched Hazbin or Helluva before and wanted some encouragement to try it out 👋 I wanted to let you know that I did it! I watched the pilots for both series as well as helluva boss episode 1 (as I heard that was a better introduction) and 👉👈 I actually liked both. I thought that Charlie was cool she has an attitude that I really like in characters believing in others when she has no reason to. Angel was cute Pentious was really adorable (I like weirdos) and Husk was pushing a lot of buttons for me. The only character from Hazbin that I still don’t really get is Alastor and tbh it’s 90% cause of the hair like I can’t think he’s hot with that haircut I’m sorry 😭. But I really liked it I really took to the humour and tone. 

Helluva Boss was the same I was actually surprised that the kids dying didn’t really bother me at all and the death of background guys were not as uncomfortable as I thought. I think I worked myself up about that aspect which is good cause I liked how horny and gay it was. After seeing so much nsfw of them I do get simping for Blitzo, Moxxie and Stolas now they were all kinda cute in their own way (You can tell I’m a gay guy huh?) and yeah I liked quite a few of the jokes as well. So I feel like I can go on with these shows!

I know this is a really random place to do this but I wanted to tell you since it was seeing all the nice adamsapple stuff and the storytelling possibilities from that as well as you’re specifically more chill and fun side of the fandom that made me want to take the plunge and actually watch it so thank you. 

Heya!! Yay!! We got another one boys 💪

I think I probably said this in your first ask, but well yeah Hazbin and Helluva are definitely... for specific tastes, it's not for everyone, I think if you're someone that gets offended easily they're probably not for you (which is why sometimes I'm surprised at the absolute stupid things some people say in the fandom lol) but I'm glad you gave them a try and liked them!

It's been a couple days since I received this ask so hopefully you've watched more by now and still like it? :D at least I hope so lol. One disclaimer, I believe the Helluva pilot is not considered canon anymore? I'm not a 100% sure exactly what parts are canon or not, but yeah just keep that in mind.

Your faves are absolutely completely valid, I really love those characters too! And it's not just that you're gay, I honestly think the male characters are just more interesting in the writing in general sfdggdf (unfortunately, please Viv throw us a bone here).

I absolutely feel you in not understanding why people love Alastor so much LOL. I love him, I really do, but I do think he's a taaaad overrated because he scratches a specific part of tumblr people's brains. It's... hard to explain, but yeah if you don't simp for him then he's kinda just alright lol.

Don't worry about chatting with me! Happy to hear about a new fan!! Just a heads up though, if you expect to understand why we ship adamsapple after watching the show.... you probably won't LMAO IT'S MOSTLY BASED OFF OF OUR OWN DELUSIONS TO BE FAIR (I have two friends that I got into hazbin after they saw all my adamsapple art and brainrot, and they were like ".... yeah Riu we don't get it" haha)

[oodlyenough]

alright i finished aai1-4 (aka turnabout reminiscence... i think... all the turnabout ep titles blur into mush in my brain. case number supremacy). the existence of a case featuring baby franziska and bratworth was like a solid 60% of the reason i played this game to begin with, and it was indeed my fave case so far by a mile. the miles + franziska interactions and callisto yew were worth the price of admission.

i loved having franziska around as the weirdgirl and, like i said in a previous post, i thought being thirteen made her writing here a lot more believable and funny than in the earlier case where you're theoretically dealing with a post-trilogy adult. i thought the (relatively one-sided) hypercompetitive relationship between her and edgeworth was hilarious and this little kid running around being a total menace was like. yeah. that checks out. lmao.

yeah man why did you think she was here?

also, as a fic writer eternally fixated on what characters call each other, especially in a franchise where everyone has a custom nickname lol, i thought it was interesting that while both adult and baby franziska use 'miles' and 'miles edgeworth', baby franziska defaults to 'miles' most of the time while adult franziska uses his full name most of the time. i could get a whole fic out of that, your brain is fascinating franziska ilu

callisto rules. i knew from vague fandom context she would be the villain but I did not know she would extend beyond this one case, so i'm excited. aside from being funny as fuck i am genuinely interested in her motives as well, she is clearly aware of corruption on the prosecution side but it remains to be seen how much she actually ... cares about that... vs how much is personal vendetta (for her sister?) vs whatever agenda of her own. presumably she was lying about being the yatagarasu? anyway. interested to see that develop

queen shit, drag him

edgeworth's writing... i don't know. i can understand the rationale of not wanting to make the player sit through a case of him being a corrupt douchebag. but the result was that I found only nominal difference between how they wrote this 20 y/o jackass and how they write adult edgeworth in the other cases. which i think rather undermines his trilogy arc. I don't know that I really believe Bratworth turning things upside down to clear Gumshoe's name, instead of pushing for the easy conviction and moving on. am I supposed to believe that this happened and then he just... stopped doing that for the rest of his career up until aa1. like this is great and all but he's about to run a clusterfuck of a trial against terry fawles where he definitely did not Find The Truth lmao

cheer up man the next one is way worse

lastly on a more positive note i'm continually surprised and entertained how every case has different women of different demographics flirting with edgeworth and he is continually either baffled or horrified by it. i guess i figured without phoenix being around in these games they'd ease up on the gay subtext. they have not.

unfortunately this means it's time for the last case, and all i ever hear about it is that it's long and tedious. hooray! at the pace i'm going i'll be lucky to complete aai2 before the new trilogy in january, so i guess TGAA will be my palette cleanser after SOJ... which is maybe for the best anyway.

[purpleandstarlight]

Here are my first thoughts on @hateweasel 's cielois fanfic DLTD, as I share them like 100+ chapters into the journey with my best friend (who hasn't read DLTD nor was ever really into Kuro) trough DMs. Here recapped for y'all.

- I FORGOT!! I DIDN'T KNOW HATE'S PRONOUNS AT THE BEGINNING SO WHEN I SPOKE WITH MY BEST FRIEND (In Italian, where they/them pronouns don't really exists unfortunately) I ALWAYS TRIED TO GET AROUND USING PRONOUNS SO AS NOT TO MISGENDER HER!! At some point (this time on ff.net, bc I usually read on ao3 so that's where I read DLTD first) I read on an author's corner the she/her pronouns and sent an ask to Hate (probably on anon bc that's how I was at first) to confirm and from then on I was finally able to get it together when talking about Hate.

-Hey Hate, remember when I sent you that anon ask talking abt how you reminded me of a French cartoon and you IMMEDIATELY recognized it as Code Lyoko? Yeah related to that whole "school thinks they're adoptive sibling" thing, I wondered why no one at school had questions about why the fuck the supposed siblings had that much non-platonic tension.

-My initial criticism that wasn't actually criticism on Hate bc I knew this was from 10 years ago and i honestly just read it as how teenage boys, especially at the time, behaved. It was criticism to just the boys, not the author. Criticism include:

1)the gay slurs the cast kept throwing around.

2)The way they all said that one in the Cielois was the "woman" - wich is something both homophobic and misogynistic.

3) the "yOuR'E sUcH a GIrL" insult that is, again, misogynistic.

4) Not a criticism to the teenage boys this time but to the girls. WHY are y'all sexualizing these gays?? GET A GRIP!!

-Not a criticism, but since we're talking about their teenager boy behavior that Hate got SO RIGHT: the COSTANT sex jokes related conversation they had. It didn't really bother me so its not criticism, its just very hormonal teen boy minded to bring everything back to that? So I wasn't really annoyed at the teenagers for being teenagers u know. I'm just adding it to the list of what I thought Hate got so well in the characterization of teenager boys.

-at some point my best friend lead me to realize that while everyone in school felt the tension between Cielois, no one had the bets running on when/if they would finally get together. Wich still makes me so sad because HATE, you missed on such a romance fanfic trope 😔 /jk

- Me at the start of the stadium arc when Kris starts being interested in...what the frick was his name?? Cameron?? Idk THAT ONE BLONDE DUDE: Oh so we're gonna have a couple of chill chapters where they are just gonna establish their relationships better!

Me, when the reapers are there and we discover about the bomb: W H A T

-Me: DLTD Suddently became Ouran Host Club? For?? Some reason??

My friend: You know what? It doesn't really surprise me. Imo this story will cover every work of literature ever existed before it ends.

-Mi initial dislike for the name Kristopherson. I still don't really like it but I'm used to it ig? Again no hate to Hate!! I just find it such an unnecessarily long name for his parents to give him? Like choose Kristopher, or Kris, why Kristopherson?? Now I know it's bc Kristopher is his father. And in general i understand that Rich People are Like That TM.

Me, while I was describing Kris's journey of self discovery to my best friend: At the beginning of the story, he was just this random bully who called Alois gay...wich i mean, it was true, but he didn't HAVE to be so mean about it...

Gonna cut this into parts so I don't kill my followers who aren't interested in my DLTD thoughts..i would use the read more thing but idk how to activate that?? Also I wrote this for some time now and I need a break lol

[the-s1lly-corner]

okay here we go (I added in images to characters you might not know)

Mild crushes:

Brassius (left) and Hassel (right)

Larry

Lord Milori (still kinda like him)

Sir Pentious and Lucifer

Used to take over my life:

Grillby

Gaster

Brett Hand

Lukas

Mordecai Heller

Kinger

Adam (most recent)

ALREADY HAS ME DEAD DJJSKX:

Clopin

I used to like him before back in January, but after listening to the soundtrack of this movie again, I frickin fell in LOVE

The obsession got so bad that I’m now researching Romani history and culture, watching those “the making of (movie name)” videos, interviews (which there are SO FEW OF) of the VAs or Alan Menken, the composer of the soundtrack

I want to know everything when I like a character lol

I actually have more, but it already feels weirdly personal to confess some of them so thank god that this is the silly corner :]

SCARED TO SEND IN BUT HERE WE GO

Mo need to fear this is a no judgement zone! Also I lost my right to judge people when I wrote mpreg a few weeks ago/lh

Rubs hands

The first two!! Obligatory "I've never gotten too deep into pokemon and the only game I've played start to finish is shield, and I'm like. Partway through brilliant diamond" soooooo! I know nothing about the personalities of these two so we're going off of looks!! And I say!

Valid!

Brassius gives off either old and exhausted punk or old exhausted gay artist but those two can overlap!

Hassel Looks yummy I love me a good longhaired blonde man AND he looks a little on the older side? YUMMY!!! He looks like he'd either he a grade A douchebag rich guy or a total sweetheart

Larry! Hey I know you I saw your dick on Twitter!!!/ref mo but real talk I can get the appeal! I already know that's hes a tired working man but that's about all I know!! Hes valid, I'd give him a big ol kith

Milori looks interesting! I don't know wheres hes from so once more we rely off of looks! He looks vaguely like a broken man . I can fix him. Valid!!!

Pentious is valid but I'm biased because I also had a crush on the character!! Pathetic men are just so silly!! Probably also has my favorite design of the entire show!!

Lucifer is also valid I can see the vision!! Caring but mentally I'll man who distances himself for one reason or another despite deeply wanting a connection my BELOVED

Grillby also had a choke hold on me when I was into undertale!! I'm so sad that there werent many grillby x reader fics out there- if I was still balls deep into undertale and deltarune like I used to be I'd 100% give writing the characters a shot but unfortunately I doubt I ever will <\3 unrelated theres a surprising amount of buff bara art of him

Gaster!! I can also get behind!! Mysterious creature that hardly has any lore iirc, fandom either portrayed him as a mad evil scientist or a loving father to sans and papyrus, at least with my experience with the fandom.. valid!!

I never watched inside job but I've heard good things about it! Brett looks like a sweetie, so I can understand the appeal! He looks so silly.. just a guy.. valid

Lukas!! It's been so long since I've heard someone talk about MCSM! Obligatory I dont remember much of Lukas, just that he was kind of an ass in the beginning I think.. but I can see the appeal! I was more of a ivor girlie

Surprisingly I have not seen lackadaisy yet! Surprising I know, since I'm huge fans of other indie animations on youtube!! Going off looks I can see the appeal, he gives old grumpy grandpa vibes but I could be totally off! I like his eyebrows :3

Kinger is another valid but again I might be biased because hes my baby girl- cant wait to see more of him in future episodes especially since hes hardly had any screen time so far <\3 he seems so sweet :(

Adam!! I can see the appeal again but his personality isnt really for me <\3 hes valid though!!

AND CLOPIN! It's been so so so long since I've seen the movies but omfg I remember I loved him a lot! Yummy design as well as a nice personality I wish we got more of him <\3 VALID VALID VALID

[thegeminisage]

it's star trek update time. last night* we watched, well,

pics taken moments before disaster ^

sighing deeply. ok. *i'm typing this at fuck o clock so technically it was earlier today but this post will go up while i'm at work. anyway here we go:

dark page (tng):

i don't want to talk about it.

rules of acquisition (ds9):

me having to watch this after dark page must count as some kind of cruel and unusual punishment

i was hoping ds9 could make me like the ferengi. i think whoever wrote this episode was trying. dax's little pro-ferengi speech. sure. and here's this ferengi woman, fighting for acceptance and change in her own way. yeah. fine.

unfortunately i think the episode undercut its own message a little in two ways: firstly, by having kira and dax getting groped nonstop without kira getting to break any fingers. like, non-ferengi women won't and shouldn't tolerate that, but for some reason in this episode they do...? i was especially steamed on kira's behalf; at least dax didn't seem to care as much. like, shouldn't the point be that that behavior is UNacceptable, instead of "oh it's not so bad once you get to know them"? and secondly, i think the impact pel made on odo was a little understated. the only real hint we got at him seeing a new way of things vs just him trying to protect himself was him offering pel the money to start a new life with, for free. you could tell because of his acting chocies there was a lot happening under the surface - like, he's always trying to get his own ass out of the fire, but he seemed protective of PEL rather than his own interests in several scenes there, particularly ditching his bar - but we didn't get to see most of the stuff that could ACTUALLY have been interesting bc we were too busy watching the nagus feel people up and eat bugs ha ha quirky fun! now THERE'S a guy that belongs on tng! extremely unendearing. you can win me over to um. some characters. but not this guy.

i was VERY surprised they let quark and pel kiss when quark was under the impression pel was a dude. not only was it a really funny "i thought i was GAY ping" moment, it also feels weirdly...progressive...? for 1993. along with dax assuming pel's in love with quark while ALSO still assuming pel is a guy. even though they kind of ruined it later

actually, the more i think about it the more pel reads as a trans man. is it right to categorize someone as trans when really they're just trying to get out of horrifically oppressive gender roles? maybe not, but the way quark managed to be super homophobic and misogynistic to pel at the same time ("you didn't kiss me" ok self-gaslighting king) feels so much like transphobia, and the way quark utterly rejected pel because of what she (he?) IS even despite the bond and chemistry they'd formed, AND dax, also trans, seemed to clock pel pretty quickly as being Some Kind Of Queer Like Me...i am Seeing

like, pel is all, hey we can run away together! fuck gender roles, who cares if i wear clothes! and quark is straight up like I Would Care. his internalized Whatever is keeping him from being happy with someone he clicked with, whether that's for a single night or an entire lifetime. there WAS a queer theme here. it was almost more about being queer than it was about sexism, except it wasn't actually about either of those because they fumbled the landing a little bit plus i feel like some censorship was probably happening and so the whole thing wound up being muddy. i did like quark's lisa simpson stare at the end though. girl, mood

TONIGHT: tng's "attached" and ds9's "necessary evil" I KNOW IT'S AN ODO EPISODE i'm very excited

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

WHAT DID U GUYS THINK ABT THE LATEST MV IM GOING INSANE

tw for suicide, mention of alcohol

Admin Saturn: I now have a crush on kazui! The other admins have been trying to convince me that because his whole arc is showing why he's not a good husband to his wife but like bro... open marriage and a guy that buys me flowers and holds my hand and takes me on drives? Sounds pretty swaggy to me! Also he ate a bird! Thats kinda wack!

Overall based on the info we have and everything he's said in his VD (assuming its to be trusted cause he does have that whole lying thing going on), I would personally go with inno. Like unless his sin was suicide baiting her, I don't entirely see how this could turn into a guilty situation. Definitely not on the same level as a lot of the other prisoners. (looking at how guilty mahiru should be but isn't getting)

Admin Venus: I'll summarize what I talked about in my theory, but honestly, I feel like Kazui didn't do all that much wrong. He seems like he just kinda let life go the way other people wanted it to go for him, and somewhere along the way he realized he really didn't enjoy it. At some point he got "greedy" and took steps to try to change that, but his wife probably committed suicide or possibly got into some kind of accident or something. Either way, that's what resulted in her death.

Between that and him being useful on defense from a meta standpoint, I'm not sure why I would vote him guilty. I wish we knew more though, I feel like both half and Cat were pretty sparse on details relating to the actual death of his wife. Like, I understand your situation, Kazui, tell me what actually happened!

Side note though, it's really interesting to me in the audio drama that he says he wants Es to find out his sin. In the first trial, I'd thought his MV was giving nothing because he was purposefully burying details to hide them from us. After hearing that line in the audio drama and seeing this MV, I feel more like Kazui's repressing his feelings on whatever his sin is so hard that even the MVs can't quite get at them.

(Also, the fact that we still haven't seen anyone who he's romantically involved with (other than his wife) adds to the theory that he's gay for me. A lot of other people (Shidou's wife, Mahiru's lover, etc.) have gotten relevant characters' faces revealed this time, and while we did get that for Kazui's wife, I feel like who he was with would've been revealed to us unless there was a specific reason to hide it (ex. he was with a man).)

Admin Mercury here. Uhhh I really got nothing on my mind but shitposts tbh. When listening to his VD, I really got the impression he was still lying or at least being overly dramatic like the theater kid he is. Especially in this part:

(translation thanks to @/onigiriico) The way he delivers these lines seems so fake to me, but I realize this might just be personal bias talking. Idk yall, lemme know what you think ab his delivery in the comments below (PFFFT sorry)

Admin Neptune: I'm definitely team innocent. Although it seems like Kazui hurt his wife by not wanting to be married anymore, he tried to be a better person and stop lying to her. Unfortunately, according to him, this resulted in her death. It doesn't really seem like he did much wrong, especially compared with many of the other prisoners, and he helps keep the prisoners safe.

The part where his wife's image transforms into what is seemingly a man with an apple for a head (along with other parts such as the "I can't stop, I can't be normal") leads me to believe that he's gay. Assuming that the apple is supposed to represent something he feels is forbidden, this part could represent his desire to date/marry a man instead. I find it interesting that he sees this image through an alcoholic drink, and I feel like it represents something but I'm not completely clear on what.

Since Kazui says "I can't live unless I lie" as mentioned above in the VD, I wouldn't be surprised if he was still lying, but I do believe that he never actually cheated on his wife. I do wonder if he would consider "emotional cheating" infidelity, and it seems like the temptation might have been there when he says "it didn't even turn into infidelity."

[ethicstownpod]

If it's alright, I'd really like to hear more about January's 'Some Kinda Gender'. I understand it might be a spoiler/private so no pressure I'm just really interested

I think everything January is and/or isn't going to do in coming seasons is fun to find out as it happens. We've heard him do a lot of thinking about things he's done, but really only 1.5ish episodes thinking about what he's actually like as a person. And, more importantly, what he'd like to be like as a person. That is, if he can even get over the fact that he isn't one.

But I'm more than happy to talk generally about gender performance in s1 and generally. Buckle up, it's probably going to be a bit of a long one! I'm really into this, lol.

So before I really got to know any of the St Kilda cast I got to see most of them act at table reads. Spectacular experience, they're all incredible actors and fascinating people. But Rhys and I were never at a table read together, so the first time I properly met him he was just a regular human guy. As the script Naomi was working on currently stood he was going to play someone's boyfriend and I was like 'yeah, sure. This is a human man who could be a boyfriend.'

Then at like 2am the director came in and was like 'English accent! You're the villain now!' We'd been hanging out for a couple hours at that point. Rhys is vibrant, but a very gently spoken person. And I wasn't at all thinking 'Oh no, he can't do that' because like,,, that's his job. But I was very interested to see what he would do.

The first time I see him on set he has the whole villain get-up on and it is camp. Not in a camp-but-as-a-compliment way, thought it was cool af, but literally 2000s cartoon queer villain camp. Slicked hair and make-up that matched his suit. And I was like okay, damn, blinked and this dude got a whole new gender, good for him.

And then, to no one's surprise and to my absolute delight, he acted the fuck out of that campy outfit. Snippy and cocky and commanding. And obviously I knew, y'know, from being alive, that anyone performing 'camp villain' is doing a specific gender performance, but it was so cool to see someone I had got to know out of costume do that.

So I was thinking about this - and the other times I'd seen Rhys act in the interim - when I was doing final script edits/deciding what January/Ian would sound like. January was always going to have his voice actor's natural accent (as long as they weren't American, lol) and that was intentional.

The only actual vocal note I gave Rhys when coming up with an Ian voice was to go deeper, but I also told him that ep 8 was kind of Ian's campy villain monologue. He's just talking to hear the sound of his own voice at that point, he could have just killed Artemis and saved himself a lot of trouble.

Ian, as he tells you, has been pretending to be this January persona the whole time. And for most of episode 8 you have no reason not to believe him. His name is Ian. He can prove he was putting on a voice. He has a wife, not a spouse (yeah, I know a wife is a spouse, but he'd never say wife, would he... hmm...), a teenage daughter, not two young children. And everything January said was a lie.

BUT THEN! He gets upset, and his voice just... slips. That doesn't tend to happen when you're speaking in your natural accent.

Ian is just a persona too. He's this hyper-masculine husband, father, son, politician, bread-winner type turned old-timey camp-horror-villain and that's all a performance.

More importantly than being Ian, January isn't real. He isn't an anxious, fumbling, queer-in-a-librarian-kind-of-way radio host. But he also isn't this super-masc intimidating politician type; hence, when we actually meet Ian he's just,, kinda gay.

Everything is a performance for January and it must be exhausting. Someone just decided he was a human man one day, and sure he wants to be a human man, but he has no idea how to do that. He needs a break to figure out who he is. Unfortunately he instead did some murdering about it, so he probably won't get one.

[theclearblue]

Love you blog, thanks for your posts. I'm kinda tired with "war-fandom", where each side like "Mine are better, yours are suck" (especially in twitter). Like, when I said that now I love JJK, some of my anime/manga moots like, "Why love that? One Piece & Hunter x Hunter are waayyy better?" or "CSM > JJK" And I was "Why can't I love all of them? All things have strength and weakness...." (in the end I block them). And don't get me started with shounen vs shoujo fandom, like why people love to spread hate just to say what they like are better.....

Sorry for my rant, just want to say, love your blog.... 🤩

Also, what are your opinions about shipping in fandom (especially shounen & seinen)? I don't really have a shipper heart, but even I get it (the power of bromance)....And yes, I'm so happy about Kenjaku/Takaba, I'm surprised that even in the end, Kenjaku did not blame Takaba.....

Thank you anon this message is so nice, I'm happy you enjoy my dumb ramblings here🤧 And yeah I get what you mean with this competitive nature in constantly comparing shonen, which on one hand I get and I do to a certain extent as well, these series are in the same genre and can share a lot of similarities. And I think each series can have different strengths and weaknesses while still being good (an example being if I were to compare JJK and One Piece, generally I think JJK has way better fights while I think One Piece is a little bit more consistent in fully fleshing out most/all characters we see. I still like both a lot). I think it's partly facilitated by the this culture of having a "big three" shonen series, both in the fighting of what's better between naruto one piece and bleach but also where a lot of people are trying to create a new big three with recent shonen. Which. It's fine but ultimately a little silly in my opinion lmao. Unfortunately being a fan of a lot of different shonen, at some point you kinda just have to accept the people who treat the genre as a dick measuring contest and not much more. And oof don't get me started on shonen vs. shojo (which as a big fan of both...let's just say it's not typically the shojo fans who are being terrible...).

And oh, what an interesting question about shipping, I guess I hadn't thought about it too much before but I'm quickly realizing I have Opinions on the matter the more I think on it lmao. Generally I'm pretty positive on shipping, where I don't think it's the end all be all in any series, but it is a tool one can use to put a new lens on character dynamics, and I think that's fun and interesting! Taking a pair like Takaba and Kenjaku, I think this is a really good pair to look at because it's clear they have a connection, right? They fundamentally understand each other at a level nobody has, maybe ever (and isn't that insane on Kenjaku's part?! He's been alive for a 1000 years!) And I think you can color the dynamic in different ways and get really interesting yet different results, are they like brothers? friends? lovers? soulmates? Is their connection platonic, sexual, or an actual love? It's up to you! This kind of analysis has been done since literally ancient times (Greek concepts of love with Eros, Agape, and Philia), so I guess I get a little confused when shonen fans are against shipping entirely?

A series that features Big Fight with BIG Punch can still have layered and complex characters that hold love for each other, and people interpreting it as romantic is not weird or gross or even fetishizing in my opinion (that's a whole can of worms that might warrant an entirely new post lmao). I think a good example is Satosugu. They certainly aren't explicitly romantic, but there is a lot of subtext within JJK that imply they might have romantic feelings for each other. But some JJK fans are just so weirdly disgusted by this concept of...gay people existing in their media? That they SCREAM from the rooftops that "they're like brothers! 100% straight!" And it's like...we could have a good conversation here! Interpreting them as brothers is just as valid I think as shipping them, but you gotta explain why. And I've seen some fans say "Hey their relationship reminds me of my relationship with my brother/best friend or there's Scene A and B that makes me think they're platonic and that's how i interpret it, with no romance." And as long as they aren't shitting on people who ship Satosugu, this is completely respectable to me. But I'm going to respect a shipper who just thinks they're both hot when they stand next to each other way more over someone who clearly is just uncomfortable with the idea of two fictional men or women being interpreted as having a romantic relationship lmao.

Shipping culture is certainly not perfect, but generally I think it's just a harmless fun hobby that can inspire people to make really cool art in all different forms, and, speaking as someone currently studying history, shipping has probably been going on since at least 4000 years ago when the Epic of Gilgamesh dropped in ancient Mesopotamia with Gilgamesh/Enkidu so I just think people, particularly shonen fans, are wasting their breath throwing a fit about it and acting as if shipping is this new evil gay phenomena that's poisoning their battle action series.

[mandy4ever69420]

What’s your solution to Kash situation then?

interesting question! i said in the tags, there's not a GREAT solution - the harm is already taking place, unfortunately. so the main goal if you were "feet on the ground" in this situation is to prevent it from continuing or reduce its impact. i'm not an expert in defusing abusive situations, i'm sure someone with more time could give some more specific solutions but i CAN spitball really quick:

removing kash from a position of power/regular contact with ian

this is the sort of thing best suited to someone in a position like linda's. in this case the largest single cause of abuse is kash's opportunity and influence. so, see: "you can no longer work managing this store, find a different job and i'll literally hire a some teenager to work with ian" - when kash tried to move his relationship to ian to any place outside of the store physically, ian instinctively freaks out because of the unfamiliarity of the situation.

getting ian a different job

this one is frustrating, because it really doesn't do anything to stop kash from repeating his pattern on just another young hire, but being in the position to just have ian attending some other location - a fucking wal mart, who gives a shit - daily, taking up his time and creating distance, he'd be less inclined to keep believing he is as close to kash as he thinks

redirecting ian's time and attention

this is the closest to the actual end of the situation in the text - the second ian meets someone his age to obsess over, he pretty much immediately loses interest in kash. though mickey was delightful, i'd bet literally any boy his age would've been interesting & comfortable enough that he would have lost interest in kash. he doesn't drop the habit of sleeping with older dudes after finding someone his age, but he also never seems to respect or care for any of the other sad fucked up relationships he's in.

it's important in situations with kids to try to NOT seem like the enemy, up to and including seeming like you just think kash is the bad guy, even though he is. lip panics, understandably, because shock, fear, and disgust are THE most natural emotional responses, but this causes him to yell at ian, leaving ian on the defensive. there's no blame to be placed on lip here as he handled this the best he could given his age and limitations in perspective. it's surprising he was aware at all that a young handsome unthreatening man was a predator, since that's just not the image you learn about

offering ian a safer, different, avenue to get the things he's missing, which are being offered by kash

one of the most standout points, and the thing that caused me to feel the most anger watching kash, was when he responds with "that's amazing, i'm so proud of you!" because that was INDISPUTABLY something ian needed to hear (even though the achievement was fucking stupid. military) -- it seems fiona is ABLE to see his accomplishments, but ian either can't take it seriously because he DOESN'T see her as an adult to rely upon (because he sees her youth and her pain) OR, she doesn't mention the ways she's proud of him often, because she assumes he knows, given he portrays a calm and confident exterior, or because she's busy and absent

ian's isolation also pushes him towards kash - he knows being gay is unsafe, but he NEEDS to talk about it. he feels some level of fear, which can only be understood in the context of him being gay, or at least, knows how his experiences are innately different from those of his peers, which he can discuss with kash. much as mandy lacked the perspective necessary to see kash & ian as anything but a slightly scandalous and exciting relationship, i think giving ian a sense of a safe place to land, someone to talk to, reduced his sense of reliance upon kash's interest significantly.

(also, though i don't think ian is materially aware that his lack of access to nice things influences his decision making - "what about what i bought for him, huh?" - just, cutting kash from his "ian money" and leaving it as "ian's money for nice things" would reduce ian's sense of loss at the relationship, and hopefully leave him confident enough to start moving past)

--> though i hate to take any of this into offering direct sympathy towards kash, reducing HIS fear (in this case, of homophobia) might also just prevent him from taking advantage of someone who is not in a position to judge or say no to him. unfortunately, i really don't know what makes people like this tick, so i don't know the best way to just, teach it out of someone. i am not a psychiatrist.

taking care of the emotional needs of a victim is always priority over the urge to punish a perpetrator

ian seems emotionally fine, which is weirdly a thing that can and does happen, but if we take his safety as the goal over making everything right, then months or years down the road a very important thing is just giving him a good avenue to emotionally process where he's been. people recover faster from traumas if they're given their own space and time to do so, and received without judgement.

institutional stuff:

these are harder things to implement that would have greater impact on the prevalence of grooming just in general. clearly, as a single person directly involved in this situation, this would be pretty much impossible to implement. but a big part of what comes up in discussions of abolitionist perspectives on child abusers is "oh but this happens so much, how would you deal with abusers without prisons?"

people tend to think of grooming and abuse as sort of isolated incidents in a weird pattern. but they are very much institutionally enabled by isolating people and often only offering exit strategies that involve causing harm to a perpetrator. no one who cares about their abuser, as many people DO, wants to send them to prison to be brutalized

SO:

giving kids more, normaller relationships to adults

if every adult in your life is an authority figure that you can't talk to as a friend, and can only look up to as a judge, you have nothing to compare as a healthy friendship with an adult against stuff like what kash had going on, where he's determined to be the boyfriend and the dad you never had

also: having more adults means less sense that you need approval and support, because, well, you can see how fucking stupid random people are, AND it means more opportunity that someone may notice and be proud when you achieve something - if, random example, your parents happen to suck and be absent, having a random nice friend at idk like bowling club be like "wow, awesome job!" offers similar validation, leaving a kid like ian less reliant on the frank-or-monica-or-kashes of the world

this could look like: more and better funded teachers in schools, all-ages events, greater connection to extended family, extended family's friends, or something else!

just, less with the homophobia, or sex stigma in general

one of the strongest weapons in kash's arsenal with regards to keeping ian's mouth shut, and keeping ian feeling reliant on him, is that ian IS in real danger for being gay -- like i said, you can't even call the cops on kash safely, because this outs ian publicly!

in other, similar, situations, even between like an adult man and a young girl, just having stigmatization around interest or questions about sex totally blockades the ability to gauge whether the person they're talking to is safe or not. so the thought: sure, it's weird, it gets a little uncomfortable, but this is the only person you can talk about with.

some adults in shameless actually, mostly unintentionally, offer some recourse to this by being decent and nonjudgemntal enough to talk to. fiona handles alright her siblings' interest in relationships as they grow up. not perfectly, of course, since debbie's sense she can't rely on anyone older, and ian's secrecy and unrealized need for approval and support lead them both into relationships with adult men. fiona also doesn't offer this judgement-free "you being safe? ok, that's all i need to know" perspective to anyone she's NOT related to - she's pretty judgemental towards mandy, probably anybody she can categorize as "other" enough to not view with the consideration she does her own siblings.

even in like, a perfect world, though, it's not possible to completely eliminate abuse. this is where the -- Focus on ensuring the victim is okay, offering care and recovery, not on revenge against a perpetrator.

FOR THE RECORD:

i don't mind getting questions like this! these come up when you talk about the dangers of calling the cops, or the rights abuses of the prison system A LOT - it's worth noting, i'm sure these ideas are written about in abolitionist lit, but i feel like sometimes when someone reaches out with "i heard you point out the problem, what the fuck do we do about it??" it's really common for people to be rude and dismissive to say - even though it's true - "i don't have a perfect solution, i can just say that the idea given as default is NOT one" it's a very very good followup question to "holy fuck, this doesn't work" to wonder "what would?". that's actually the only way forward!

to close off, my extremely negative reaction to "someone SHOULD have called the cops" doesn't mean if lip HAD i'd really hold it against him - active cases of assault are some of the only situations in which i can see that a bludgeoning instrument like a cop may be a reasonable response. just please consider the ramifications of a legal case. placing anger or blame on someone for NOT calling the cops on a man of color so he could be brutalized by homophobes and racists while putting his victim under the spotlight of the court system is very shortsighted.

[mdhwrites]

Have you watch infinity train?

I have not unfortunately. Admittedly, I'd like to just take this moment as a chance to talk about marketing fandoms do for their show for those outside of it. Mostly that it's bad (and I'd be denying if I didn't struggle with it myself).

See, despite how big Infinity Train was for many, to the point where it got revived by a seperate network, literally all I know about it is:

It got cancelled and then brought back by a different network.

It is really angsty.

Someone dies.

And...

Nope, that's literally it. How good are the characters? Not that either. Jokes indicative of the tone of the piece or the common reason to enjoy it? No idea. The literal premise of the show? NOT AT ALL.

Now to be fair, it's not a fandom's job to do anything like that but it gets weirder with how many times I'll see people screaming about Netflix having cancelled a show. Do I hear about the plotlines they wished they'd gotten to see? Do I hear about them reminiscing about favorite moments? You already know the answer but do I hear about the uniqueness of the premise?

Well weirdly enough actually, kind of for that last one because it's ALL I hear actually. What do I know about Warrior Nun? That it was gay. Anything else about the premise? NOPE! Even with The Owl House, the framing often is about angst and it's representation, even back between S1 and 2 when the shortening was first announced. People would mention good characters and an interesting world but not WHY these characters were good. WHY the world was interesting. WHY these basic narrative elements would appeal to others.

Which to me is weird because fandoms don't have to be beholden to as strict spoiler rules as an author trying to sell you on his series where he shouldn't give spoilers. Even then, I at least still include the description for the book during my main pitches. Crises Girlfriend's blog, pinned as the first one you'll see on my blog, starts with its cover, then its description and then with me branching out to be about the unique element of it being a personal book about depression, trauma, etc. written by someone who has been in therapy for YEARS. That's because that odd, thematic twist should be the LAST thing you use to pitch someone on something after they're worried about it being generic.

Like when Undertale was getting big, do you know how I heard people pitch it despite wanting zero spoilers given? Well, nowadays I feel like the gameplay gimmick of being able to be a pacifist would be given first. At the time though, it was "It is one of the most charming games I've ever played but I recommend you go in as blind as possible." That is an EXCITING pitch. It tells me a core element of appeal to the story that is indeed indicative of the whole while also letting me know the person enjoyed it so much that to tell me ANYTHING more would potentially weaken some of the surprises.

To bring up a situation where a fandom has been talking about the unique thematics of a piece versus others in its genre and that working though: The new Scott Pilgrim series. I still have gone unspoiled on it but I know one thing: It's not an adaptation of the movie and it's not an adaptation of the comic. It is a new beast but it stands just as tall as the other two. That is a HELL of a pitch if you know anything about Scott Pilgrim and the fandom is partially signaling to others, like me, that there are surprises to be had with this adaptation still, something many worried about. As a pitch outside the fandom, it works less well admittedly but adaptations are wonky like that.

Again though: It is admittedly not a fandom's job to market a product BUT if you want to get people into the thing you like, trying to give them a main thrust pitch isn't a terrible idea. Like for Amphibia I'd probably say something like "If you like Edgar Wright's shotgun approach to jokes where you're at least smirking like once every two minutes tops, BOY do I have a show for you!" or "If you want one of the most charming, compelling and genuinely sweet families in media I've seen, who still feel like a family, the main characters of Amphibia will give you diabetes."

Hell, The Owl House even shows this difference as people nowadays mostly scream about the gay elements but do you know what first put it on my radar? "This show has the best animation on television. Period. With a charming cast to make sure it isn't being wasted." And yeah, in S1 both of these elements are true and my own pitch back then would have been "If you want a beautifully animated cartoon with fun but shockingly deep characters, TOH is a great adventure show for you." I wouldn't pitch them on Lumity despite that being what got me into the fandom because they are not the core appeal of the show. The core appeal is that you had these really charming characters who could show some real complexity to themselves while also still being fun and enjoyable.

So yeah, I haven't watched Infinity Train but besides its revival, no one has ever given me a reason to.

======+++++======

I somehow forgot to mention my all time example of this btw: I was turned away from Gravity Falls almost until its ENDING because literally all the fandom talked about was its mystery, which they portrayed as easter eggs above anything else, while I was still wondering what the show was about or if they even liked the characters because neither were EVER brought up.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[broken-balance-baby]

not gonna make a bullet point post regarding pagan/vaas headcanons i just want to think of them based on their vibes.

warnings for canon-typical sexual stuff, that includes mentions of underage sex (vaas was like 16-- just to note but its not with pagan but with hoyt) and complicated relationships with the aftereffects thereon, mentions of incest (thank you citra)

first off i would like to thank my headcanons of hoyt terrorizing vaas's teenhood and decorating it with a transactional sexual relationship and furthermore fucking it up for him with older men. vaas's relationship with men is crazy cuz he's gay but any woman aside from citra just felt straight up unpleasant, no matter how much he tried. comphet, social pressure and an incestuous relationship with your sister sure does something to your sexual state huh

anyway. pagan and vaas. pagan and fucking vaas.

they're not at all romantic (but it could be but who knows), meeting in circumstances that ended with pagan smacking the gun out of vaas's hand to pin him against the wall with a knife against his throat, but that's usually how vaas is with men.

violence is a love language, after all. whether that be from the way he used to get hurt a lot when hoyt used to use him (and he really means use), his warnings-slash-tests he's provided jason with for his strength... there's a list that can go on. vaas doesn't really know people without it. started with citra, continued on with hoyt, doesn't know how it's going to end but... that's the thing.

doing the same thing, over and over again.

so when they start off like that vaas's breath almost gives away his surprise but pagan just gives him a small chuckle before he stops touching him, vaas is suddenly unsure as to how to go about the eccentricity and femininity this man exudes because he's never actually seen a man like that at all.

i think theyd be like. super slow in developing a connection but vaas’s interest in him doesn’t even happen up until the start of like. the more they do interact. he thinks pagan is strange in his nature, but it pisses him off to no end when he has to deal with him in the process because he doesn’t exactly like this type of strangeness, but it’s familiar in the same way a dog would find a wolf familiar.

he doesn’t like that he feels vulnerable because he’s got a weaker spot for older men, especially men who have power in their hands and vaas has focused a little too much on pagan’s fingers and the way the bones move under the backs of his palms; he’s not sure why his eyes move down to where the hands are when it comes to men but— he does.

so he puts back on that tough guy act. unfortunately, pagan is good at cracking through brazen masculinity. especially the vulnerable spots vaas has out in the open, he can see it: the defensiveness, the insecurities, the fear. like a little feral dog it seems that his defense mechanisms are useless against the way pagan knows how to make boys like him— boys, because to hoyt he’d never be a real man, to anybody he’d never be a real man and not even to vaas— behave.

and it makes vaas so uncomfortable. makes him angry. makes him frightened. what the hell does this maricon think he’s doing huh? ohhh, for sure he must be fucking testing my motherfucking limits no? no no no, please, get THE FUCK out.

but… it’s almost like gaslighting. pagan is doing something but his calm approach to vaas with his interactions make it seem like he just isn’t doing anything. but there it is again. and it comes again. and it drives vaas up the fucking wall because what the FUCK did i say about the definition of insanity?

and he gets memories of hoyt. hoyt who “played” with him, hoyt who, for the most part, had too much fun making him his little throwaway toy. the closer pagan gets to him the eerier and clearer the memories become to him and they are not nice.

so he asks pagan, visibly shaken, probably months later when they spend the rest of their time having to know each other, what the fuck he wants from him.

pagan simply looks him up and down and says, “i just want you, dear boy.”

(or so, he wishes intrusively for that day.

vaas would never actually ask or think past this, just assume that pagan’s another one of the hoyts, and that reminder is what makes him so angry— whatever it is that pagan wants from him, hoyt had taken it from him anyway, citra had taken it from him too, there’s nothing left for vaas to give him and he’s firm on that stance.)

but vaas was never good at making good decisions anyhow. the closeness of a man, the touch of a man, the approval, the love… vaas had only really known it in short bursts, if there was anything like that, but that was the past. hoyt and citra made up most of it. you could talk love and desperation and want and need with citra but when it comes to hoyt? you could talk about how much you just wanted to be taken care of, to be cared for, to be touched by a man and know what it feels like to be one in His hands.

it fucking sucks, lmao.

so when the opportunity comes, when pagan comes into his mind again, pagan who’s dealt with boys like him, his older presence and his sophisticated anger, vaas is afraid to realize that he honestly kind of wants him as much as pagan has been flirting with him too.

vaas has never been good at making good decisions. if he wanted to be loved by someone he should’ve been dead a long time ago. now is not the time for that— maybe they can fuck and get it over with and never speak about it again; vaas can ignore the way pagan calls him pretty, touches him softly and keeps him in a closed distance that his touch starvation simply cannot handle, can see that this is not anything new, just because he’s some pink posh peacock of a person doesn’t mean he isn’t a man and, for the most part, vaas just scoffs. he’s still just a man. he really is just a man.

so he lets him do what he wants with him. just like the old days, because this is as good as it gets.

(he’d be surprised to know that pagan could change that.)

anyway tldr this is them

[cosmicjoke]

I remember an anon, I don't really remember on who's post, I think it was @/leviismybby getting mad at her bc she simply stated that we weren't shown directly in canon what Levi's sexuality is and that people can interpret things differently when it comes to that stuff. The anon insisted that levi is straight and then got mad when @/leviismybaby said that it's not canon and it's just implied based on what interpretation one has

Point is even when your headcanons allegins with someone, you can't win in this fandom because poeple insist that thier headcanons are canon and then get mad or salty at writers or analysis writers on here who appreciate levi as more than a projection tool

I love your analysis and sorry that you're getting such rude assholes in your anons and under yours posts

Yeah, that doesn't surprise me at all. It's honestly incredibly pathetic the way these people just can't accept that Levi's sexual orientation is simply unknown, and therefore, no definitive statement on it can be made. The thing that boggles my mind is how obsessed these people are with it. Why does Levi's sexuality matter to them so much? It's utterly irrelevant to his character. Whether he was straight or gay or bisexual or asexual, it wouldn't have any bearing one way or the other on who he is. I guess it really just comes down to these people either wanting to be able to genuinely believe that Levi would want to have sex with them, or just them projecting their own qualities onto Levi, and being bothered by the idea that Levi isn't just a self-insert for themselves in the story. I can't think of any other reason why Levi's sexuality would be so important to these people that the simple, factual statement that we don't know what it is could send them into fits.

It's unfortunate, because Levi is such a rich, complex, amazing character. One you could endlessly analyze and talk about. But all these people see him as is an avatar for their sexual fantasies or their own orientation. All they want to talk about in regards to Levi is who he would want to have sex with. Basically, they don't want to talk about Levi at all, because who he would want to have sex with isn't even part of his character in canon. He doesn't want to have sex with anybody in canon. He's never shown interest in that way in any person at all. I wish people would just accept that and actually focus on Levi's character. Like, try talking about what Levi does in the story once in a while, try talking about who he is in canon once in a while. I see no appreciation for Levi's actual character among most, online discussions of him. Just stupid fighting over an element of Levi's character that doesn't even exist.

Anyway, thank you so much for your kind words and support! I appreciate it more than you know!

[wolfspero]

Hey, I don't want to bother you, so I'll write to you here (and you don't have to reply, of course) I just thought I should say thank you for interacting with my old post, it made my evening- <3

Every time it’s nice to see that there are a few who are interested in this game in one way or another.

Hello! Oh no, I'm not bothered at all - quite the opposite, actually. This is such a sweet message. You don't owe me any thank you, but that's nice from you.

I was glad to see your post too. I was only looking for Heavy Rains' fan arts and gifs (well, especially those about Norman Jayden, but I think that I was open to a lot of things), but I didn't expect to learn anything about the next (unfortunately abandoned) game.

The potential was insane. The fact that it was centered on Norman already got me, but Jack Reilly's existence and their life together? Like omg? First, that means that Norman is canonically gay / bi, which is both awesome and unexpected.

I really had a great time with this video game. It probably was my first narrative game (and more specifically, a game with choices, but I don't know how to say it in English) and I loved the experience. I played it a few times and also watched some let's play (I just finished one today, because a very well known French streamer just discovered Heavy Rain and I wanted to live this experience again). It's always cool. A lot of feelings, several linked points of vue, endearing characters... bref, it works, and it's hard to just move on after the end.

However, it's really hard to ignore how the whole game shows a typical straight male gaze. Like all the time, and it's not even subtle. Women are objectified for no purpose - just because they can do it, I guess? This is not just about David Cage's shower obsession (like really, how many shower scenes? is it a kink or something? for real, it happens too often to be ignored ahah), but how he portrays his female characters. It's quite painful to watch. How many sexual aggressions? We even have a particularly scary agression in a dream? Was any of it really necessary? Did they exist in any other way?

Oh, yes, we had Madison Paige. I liked her, but she was not an exception at all. She also was over sexualized - not surprising, at this point - but that's not all. Yes, she is smart and brave. But that doesn't erase the fact that she only exists to be here for Ethan Mars. She was the nice nurse that helped him every time he was hurt, because that's how women are supposed to be.

Gender roles are very stereotyped and it even starts in the firsts minutes of the game, when Grace is depicted like if she was so boring. She took care of the children all day, managed all the organization herself and is basically exhausted.

And when she comes home, what? Ethan didn't do anything. He has to wait for his wife to tell him what to do, to remember that yes, it's his kid's birthday and he should be more invested. So a very hard task, to get the table ready... except he doesn't even know where the plates are, how to open the placard (I don't remember the English word, sorry) and can't even take care of the material. But he did it, so I guess we should applaud?

And after that, Grace continues to set up everything, without any consideration, while he goes out to play with the kid. It brings him the good role. I guess that Grace would love to spend fun time with her children too, but she can't since she is the only one to be invested in his son's birthday organization.

So when I read that Norman Jayden had a boyfriend, I was just confused. Wtf David? Were you drunk or something? How could you even not think straight? I know that sometimes a strong enough misogyny can involuntarily become gay, but still. This is so far from what we saw in Heavy Rain. I was not expecting it to be somehow canon. But it is, and I take it. It's just so sad that we'll (probably) never see it as a game.

The fandom seems to do the job for all of us. It doesn't appear as dead as you say, really. I saw some AO3 fanfictions... but didn't read any of it yet. It's not that easy to start an English story when you're so far from being fluent. I already struggle to read in French due to my attention issues (or at least it is the main reason), so starting a story in English is something else - and way harder. I already did it, but not many times and my level stays way too low for me to don't see any difference. Anyway, I hope to be able to start some of them. I saw a lot of potential in a few Norman/Ethan stories and I don't want to miss it.

Well, now, I also hope that Norman/Jack fanfictions exist. I guess not, according to your post? If so, what a waste. We don't know much about them (or at least I do not), but already enough to write a very entertaining story. Jack Reilly obviously was a very skilled scientist. He worked on advanced technologies and Normand used them on the field. This is both revolutionary and fascinating.

Also, we have the whole addiction to triptocaine part. They unfortunately had that in common - Jack even died for it. That brings a deep meaning to all the times we saw Norman fight against his addiction. The fact that he couldn't stop and was sure to die because of it. It's even more significant to know that his love died from it. It's awful and dramatic. But for the same reason, I think that it has - again - a huge potential. A story about their common addiction and how they deal with it would be amazing.

It deserves to exist, really. Oh, and of course, Jack also deserves to survive. I want to see Norman and him happy together. Our poor FBI guy wasn't very lucky until now, so it has to change. I'm not sure that I couldn't support anything else ahah.

Well... This answer starts to be long (or at least, way more than what I expected), so I should stop here. Just thank you for your kind words and your implication in the fandom. It's really pleasant to see. And the fandom doesn't need anything else to be alive.