#this was supposed to be part of a bigger piece but my brain refused to work

[disposal-blueeee]

" i'll get through it all , i'll get through the barriers and one day when i go to sleep , i'll wake up again " .

[waytooinvested]

Forgotten, Not Forgiven - Chapter 27

This and previous chapters are also on AO3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They sat in silence for a little while after that, the quiet broken only by a low, regular beeping from one of Kara’s monitors and the distant bustle of the DEO going about its day to day business. Out there agents would be dealing with (hopefully relatively minor) emergencies, hurrying about on important missions, gossiping, arguing, keeping the world turning; but in here behind the closed med bay doors everything was blessedly still. As Lena’s breathing synced to Kara’s, she finally began to feel her heart rate returning to something like its normal rhythm. She was alright. It was all going to be alright now.

‘Lena?’

‘Mmm?’

‘Are you sure you’re really okay to stay here? Because you don’t have to, if- I mean, I don’t want you to go obviously. But I know you walked out on a big event for me, and if you have things you need to do, or if you just want some space to process and be mad at me, you can. I’ll be fine, and I promise not to do anything to get myself hurt again if you’re not here to keep an eye on me.’

The small part of Lena that was still inhabiting her other life pointed out that yes, she really should go. She should be checking on Jess and the demo team, reviewing footage, writing press releases and a thousand other things, but she ignored it.

It wasn’t that it didn’t matter.

It was just that the part of her brain where it mattered was so far away from where she was right now, she couldn’t bring herself to do anything about it but hold Kara tighter.

‘As long as you want me here, this is where I want to be. Anyway, the advantage of everyone thinking I just had my appendix out is that I’m now more or less obliged not to do any work for the next couple of days at least, and even after that I’ll need to take it easy while I “recover from my surgery”.’

Saying this reminded Lena of the other recovery plan she had yet to discuss with Kara, and all of a sudden her stomach was fluttering with a very different kind of anxiety to the one she’d felt earlier. The idea had seemed so reasonable when she’d suggested it to Alex, but now it felt bigger somehow, more significant and… intimate.

Don’t be silly. You’re not suggesting a lesbian u-haul, this is a purely practical, platonic, medically sensible arrangement. Just ask her.

‘Actually Kara… I was thinking maybe we could recover together. Since your apartment has so many stairs up to it and Alex doesn’t have a spare room, I wondered if you’d be up for coming to stay with me for a few weeks? Just until you’re well enough to manage by yourself. It could be fun: like a best friend sleepover every night, only with less Twister and more pain meds.’

‘We have never played Twister at a sleepover. We absolutely should though, I love that game, and Alex has refused to play it with me since high school.’

‘So… is that a yes?’

Lena was already smiling through the question, still nervous but finally allowing the feeling to mingle with a growing excitement at the idea of sharing a home with Kara (no matter how briefly and platonically it might be). But rather than the ‘of course!’ and happy smile she was expecting Kara’s worry crinkle appeared between her brows, and she bit her lip. Almost immediately she released it again with a pained hiss, but instead of answering the question she just muttered something under her breath about stupid hard sidewalks and their effect on the stupid soft human body if you fell just a tiny bit, and how was anyone ever supposed to stay in one piece anyway?

‘… Kara?’

The grumbling stopped.

‘Sorry, I’m just- I’m not sure it’s the best idea.’

‘Oh.’

Lena had considered a dozen potential pitfalls for her plan to take care of Kara through her injury, but for some reason the idea that she simply might not want to live together had never occurred to her. She had no right to feel disappointed by that, but she did. Just a little bit.

As if Kara could read her mind, she hurried to reassure her.

‘It’s not that I don’t want to! I’m sure being roommates would be so much fun, and I’m really, really grateful for the offer, it’s amazing of you. It’s just that… well, I’m going to need help with showering and getting to the bathroom and things, at least until my wrist is better. And I just wasn’t sure if you could… do that?’

‘Oh!’ Lena said again, and then chuckled. Was that all?

She might never be a match for her unfairly advantaged Kryptonian friend when it came to physical strength, but did Kara really think she didn’t have it in her to help someone to the bathroom without dropping them?

…Alright, so there had been that one time at the bunker when she had technically dropped Kara, but it had been mostly Alex’s fault, and anyway, Kara didn’t know about that. Besides, Lena had been keeping up her strength training ever since (despite the voice in her head that pointed out how many other things she had to do, and how unlikely she was to end up in a situation where she would need to carry an unconscious adult by herself (again)), and her muscles had never been in better shape than they were right now. She flexed them subtly, feeling the satisfying strain of her biceps against the unyieldingly tight fabric of her shirt sleeves.

‘Luckily for you it just so happens that I’ve been working on building up my strength the last few months. Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall.’

This time.

‘No, that’s not- I mean, great! Um, wow, that’s- that’s so great, but. Um.’

Instead of sounding relieved Kara’s voice had gone weirdly high, her cheeks blooming suddenly and startlingly pink against the pallor of post-injury shock, and the steady beeping of her heart rate monitor had noticeably increased in a way that made no sense, unless-

Lena swallowed, throat drying as she considered the possible implications.

‘… Is it because I’d see you naked?’

‘Well-’

Kara was now so red she looked almost sunburned, but she didn’t try to bluff or deny it.

‘Um. Kind of? But for you, not me. Things have been so good between us lately, I don’t want to push it too far and make you feel uncomfortable around me.’

‘Oh darling, of course I wouldn’t be. Why would you think I’d feel uncomfortable?’

‘Because of… you know… our fight. The whole…’

Kara hesitated, as if Lena might jump in and spare her from having to finish her sentence, but she didn’t. A dawning, horrified suspicion had begun to form in her mind at Kara’s mumbled words, and she needed her to finish.

After an agonising couple of seconds, she did, in a whisper.

‘The gay thing.’

The gay thing.

The GAY THING?

As in her gay thing?

Or… Kara’s gay thing?

Was Kara saying what she thought she was saying?

It was no good, she couldn’t keep guessing or trying to put the pieces together with an incomplete picture, no matter that she was supposed to know all of this already. She had to ask. Lena closed her eyes for a few moments, trying to picture snow. Frost. Blizzards and ice and the goddamn Arctic Circle to keep her cheeks from flaming, but she was pretty sure it wasn’t working.

‘I think-’

She broke off to clear her throat, and was relieved when her voice came out steadier on a second attempt.

‘I think maybe you and I have a different perspective on exactly what happened in our fight. Would you please tell me your side?’

Kara squirmed.

‘I don’t want to bring it all back up again. I don’t want to ruin this.’

She looked more frightened than Lena thought she had ever seen her before, and it took everything she had not to take the request back, to tell her they didn’t have to talk about it after all, not if she really didn’t want to (but they did have to. They’d put this off too long already. Lena had put it off too long. She needed to know).

‘Kara, I know it’s hard and just after you’ve had an accident isn’t the best time to have this conversation, but I still think we need to. I’m sorry I stopped you when you tried to raise this before, but I’m ready to listen properly now. I’m not going anywhere this time, and I’m not going to get angry with you again. I promise.’

‘Okay…’

Kara stared down at her knees, still looking like she’d rather take her chances jumping off another roof than talking about this, but not arguing any further.

‘So I should probably start at the beginning of the whole Hopeful Paragon thing. Given how our- um… conversation about that went, I don’t think I ever properly explained to you why I was doing it in the first place. And before I do I want to be clear that this isn’t an excuse for what happened with us at all, but I think it might help explain some things. A bit. Maybe.’

Lena nodded encouragingly, trying to look as if she had some idea of what Hopeful Paragon was, and desperately hoping that whatever Kara said next would explain what it had to do with the gay thing without her having to ask (“a different perspective” was one thing, but there was no way to explain why she didn’t know something that was clearly so fundamental to what had supposedly happened between them).

‘Go ahead.’

‘Right, okay… So at the time I was kind of in a rut. I know this sounds like a pretty lame excuse for not doing more with my life, but I stuck out like a sore thumb in Midvale, and after that blending in kind of became my life’s purpose. I kept my head down, tried to fit in, and pushed down all the parts of me that were too loud, or strange, or felt things that people would find inconvenient. Being Ms Grant’s assistant was the perfect job for that person, because the whole point of a PA is that if you’re doing it right, people barely notice you’re there at all. I tried to be happy with that, but the most I could hope to achieve in my day was keeping Cat in a good enough mood that she didn’t make anyone cry, and I hardly ever managed even that much. It all felt so small and pointless, but I didn’t know how to be anything else. Then I created the Hopeful Paragon blog, and I suddenly had this space where I could be something different without having to tear my whole life down. I could still be me the rest of the time, but I could also be a hero.’

Kara winced at herself as she said the word, attempting to wave it away with her bound arm as if forestalling a criticism that Lena had not been going to make. Whatever had happened between them, Kara was a hero. Powers or no powers. Part of Lena wanted to voice the thought, but she held her tongue in favour of hearing the rest of the story.

‘That sounds so stupid now when I’m so obviously not a hero, but that’s how it seemed at the time. The blog got kind of big, and it made me feel confident in a way I never was in my normal life. I got to be loud, and angry, and fight for real change without worrying about getting in trouble for professional conflict of interest, or… I don’t know, being hunted down by someone dangerous I’d done an exposé on. It was this wonderful, private outlet that only a handful of people knew about, and when you and I started talking through it it didn’t seem like a big deal not to say anything at first, because I didn’t really know you well as Kara yet anyway. Only then I did and I still kept putting off telling you. At first because it would have sounded so weird, and then because- because somehow you made it feel like just being myself as Kara was a good thing, like it was the better thing. You made me feel like I didn’t need all the bravado and glamour to be worthy, because I just was. I didn’t want you to stop seeing me that way, so I made more and more excuses not to tell you the truth yet. But the more I waited the worse it was that I hadn’t told you, and then…’

Kara hesitated again, eyes flicking nervously up to Lena’s face and then back down to her own knees, as if she hoped they might take over for her if she willed it hard enough. She clearly didn’t want to say whatever came next, but Lena didn’t prompt her. She sat still on the bed, giving Kara space to find the words she needed and breathing through her own experience of reliving their past. It hurt to hear it aloud, even filtered through de-kryptonised memories. It might always hurt a little bit. But what had once been a knife twisting in her heart was now the gentle ache of a healing scar, and for each painful memory that surfaced in her mind, half a dozen good ones rose up to soften it.

There was so much more to Kara Danvers (to them) than the lie that had torn them apart, and Lena was convinced now that Kara truly meant it when she said she would never hurt her like that again. They were growing past their mistakes, and they were stronger than their history. Stronger together.

The quiet stretched out for several long moments more, but eventually Kara took a deep, shaky breath and continued.

‘When Jack came to town I realised how jealous I was of what he meant to you, and I handled it… badly. After I crashed your date like a total weirdo I promised I wouldn’t ever let myself do something like that again, and I guess the online chats became the place where I was allowed to feel that way. Because Kara knew you were straight and into Jack, and then James, but Hopeful Paragon didn’t. Then when you found out it was a woman who had been flirting with you and you didn’t react how I’d hoped it felt like this huge, personal attack, and I got mad and insecure and I said a lot of things I didn’t mean. And Lena, I know how it sounded, but I truly, truly didn’t mean any of it. Almost as soon as the fight was over I realised what I’d done, but it was already too late by then. You didn’t want to talk to Hopeful Paragon anymore.’

A tear trickled down Kara’s grazed cheek but she didn’t stop speaking this time, forcing the words out even as she began to cry in earnest.

‘I lost you from that part of my life, but you were still best friends with Kara, and I couldn’t bear for you to hate her too. So I kept lying to you, about Hopeful Paragon and about my feelings for you, and… God, I can’t even imagine how awful it felt to find all that out the way you did. What I did to you was the biggest mistake of my entire life, and I don’t blame you for cutting me out for it. I am so, so grateful that you forgave me and came back anyway, but I know that the way I felt -the way I feel- must still make it hard to be my best friend. I just don’t want to push that too far. Because of course helping me shower wouldn’t be about... that, but also, it would be way too much to ask of you in the circumstances.’

Fuck.

Shitfuckfuckfuckshittingfucking FUCK.

That’s what Kara thought they had fought over instead of her making kryptonite?

All this time.

All this time, Kara had believed that Lena was homophobic, and had kept being her friend anyway. And Jack, and James… well, that was a lot to take in too. Was Kara rebuilding false emotions to go along with her false memories for what had happened in those cases, or had she really had feelings for Lena for that long?

Was she every bit as oblivious about Kara’s feelings as Kara had been about hers?

Maybe if she had confessed outright that she was in love with Kara when she had first realised it, her friend would have shared her secret in return, and none of this would have happened.

Lena wouldn’t have withdrawn after Lex had spilled the beans.

Lex would never have kidnapped Kara and stolen her memories.

Kara would never have lost her powers and wouldn’t now be lying injured in a hospital bed, with only sheer luck having prevented her from dying after falling off a roof.

Maybe instead they would be dating now. Working together to save the world and then going home at night to share the same bed.

She and Kara might have had it all.

She reached for Kara’s hand, the tremble in her own obvious as she wrapped her fingers around it and stroked her thumb tenderly across the knuckles.

‘I’m so sorry I made you think I didn’t like that part of who you are, but I promise that wasn’t true. Not for Hopeful Paragon, and never, ever for Kara Danvers. Everything that happened in that fight- you have to understand that what I did then wasn’t what I would have done if you and I were having that conversation. To me S- Hopeful Paragon wasn’t my best friend. She was an acquaintance that I liked and respected, but who crossed boundaries that weren’t hers to cross...’

Lena paused, but only for a moment. Her heart was pounding erratically and she couldn’t quite believe any of this was really happening, but after what Kara had just told her anything but the truth would just hurt both of them, now and later.

‘-They were yours, Kara. James, and even Jack… you never had anything to worry about. If I’d thought you were an option, it would always have been you.’

Kara’s expression flickered through a dozen different emotions ranging from shock, anguish, disbelief, incredulity, and finally, as she glanced between Lena’s face and the hand around hers, settled on a fragile, tentative hope.

‘ Really ?’

‘Really.’

She swallowed thickly.

‘So... if I had just told you…’

‘Or if I’d told you, instead of trying to get you to notice me flirting with flowers and low cut shirts and, ah, media companies.’

‘You- oh. Oh. I’m such a dummy.’

Lena surprised herself with a chuckle, because, yeah she kind of was. Apparently they both were.

‘Maybe, but you’re a very cute dummy.’

She watched Kara’s still-wet cheeks going pink again at the compliment, felt her tentatively turn her hand in Lena’s so she could lace their fingers together, and was hit with a wave of such tender fondness that it was almost too much to bear.

‘So… will you come and stay with me? Let me help you until you’re well enough to live alone again?’

‘I- yeah. Yes. I would love that. Thank you Lena.’

‘Always.’

She still couldn’t quite take in the fact that Kara had actually just confessed having feelings for her, and that she had confessed right back. She had always imagined that if they ever got to that moment, their declarations would be made into the diminishing space between their lips as they met for a kiss that could be held back no longer. She had fantasised about it a dozen different ways, from light and sweet to hungry and desperate. She had kissed Kara in every way and every place she could think of in her imagination and was certain that none of them would live up to the reality of even the softest brush against the unbroken skin of her top lip, but as it was, neither of them moved to make it a reality.

Kara let her head settle onto Lena’s shoulder, and Lena moved so that her cheek rested lightly against the familiar softness of Kara’s hair, their hands remaining clasped together in the small space between them on the bed. It wasn’t the right time for anything more than that, not for either of them. Lena’s silent promise not to have this conversation yet might be lying shattered at her feet, but she could at least make sure that things didn’t go any further until she could be sure that Kara knew what she was choosing, and that this wasn’t just an effect of her false memories.

And if this was all they could have, even if it was all they ever had, it was enough for Lena.

Kara was enough.

[jacksonseymour13]

Part 2 Spoilers(technically...)

I woke up today and decided to randomly ship Kwon with Tory and Yoon. Idk why but my brain just told to roll with it. The potential this trio dynamic had in the show was surely missed. Let the rambling commence.

I wish we got a flashback of Tory and Kwon meeting for the first time so we get a snippet of context what their relationship is like Pre-Sekkai. Instead we're supposed to accept their relationship as 'Idk who you are but let's win this thing'. Which isn't bad but we have conflict with this pairing that isn't necessarily taken advantage of.

Tory still has feelings for Robby, feels betrayed after seeing him with Zara and angrily hooks up with Kwon. The sight of her being heartbroken and desperate for affection that Kwon exploits would've been interesting. It creates this awkward cloud of tension between them that leaves Kwon confused she refuses to acknowledge their one night stand. His "I'm above all" mentality gives him this complex that everybody should treat him seriously yet she doesn't and it frustrates him. To her he's just a very loud but obnoxious teammate yet his antics don't bother as much because she has much bigger fish to fry: coping with her mom's death,taking care of her brother,processing her Miyagi-Fang fallout,relationship drama with Robby and winning the Sekkai-Taikai. All of these pressures weigh her tremendously. Kwon was a simple hook up, nothing more. She needs to focus.

The 1 thing Kwon can't do, he's down bad but I digress. My brainrot is simple rot and I feel angry we didn't flesh out this dynamic instead of painfully teasing me with crumbs. 1 arm around shoulder and an almost 'argument to hateful angry sex' isn't enough.

Yoon and Kwon needed moments of bickering like an old married couple so we have the reminder "These two hateee each other but work so well as teammates". Their toxic chemistry deserved to be showcased more with Kwon being the Red Oni(Angry,loud and attention seeking) to Yoon's Blue Oni(Silent,calm and focused).

Yoon hasn't forgotten how Kwon bested him but he respects his tenacity to achieve the goal. Kwon brought out Yoon's killer instinct to never hesitate but attack. He's a "sweetheart" and doesn't take himself seriously, he has to puff his chest out here and there but Kwon is the only one who can see through it. He always does and will always tease Yoon about it. "Not so at top now, are ya?". Yoon isn't so innocent either in the squabbles, he criticizes Kwon prioritizing flashiness over execution. He has the skill and technique yet it isn't good enough for him. He always must put a show on and needs to draw everybody's attention. Yoon notices Kwon is always putting himself out there to give everybody a good look at what he can do. Yoon is frustrated at Kwon's need to always prove himself to others. He knows that feeling all to well and wishes Kwon would wake up from that ideology and be content with his abilities. He would tell him time to time in their very few chill conversations "It doesn't hurt to improve and better, just do it for you." He would do that ever so arrogant laugh and scold him for caring about an enemy. Yet he wasn't an enemy to Yoon anyway. He was just a stubborn teammate that kicked his ass and stole his captaincy. In Kwon's eyes he's a rival that can't wait for their inevitable rematch. Shame it never happened and they never got full closure to their story. Yoon gave Kwon some tough life than got his ass kicked than stayed by his side and lost him all in quick succession.

Tory couldn't believe her heart would feel like a thousand knives cutting it into pieces again. Yet alone over someone she barely knew but built this interesting yet complex relationship in such a short time. He was supposed to be a random pedestal in her journey to win. She wasn't supposed to get hurt again but she did. She couldn't describe what she felt for Kwon or if she knew it was real. She questioned if seeing his lifeless body was just some awful nightmare. She didn't immediately know in that moment and just cried into Robby's arms taking it all in.

And Yoon, oh boy was he absolutely devastated losing Kwon. This is somebody he picked on and carefully lectured about everything he did wrong. The sight of his body is on his hands, if only he controlled him better. If only he stopped him from attacking Sam. If only he gave nicer input, if only he was there for him like last time facing Axel. He should have never left his side and now he's gone. Yoon would have loved to see a softer side of Kwon, he only ever showed that to Tory but that might have been him trying to get laid. He didn't know or care but he was perplexed and wished he could save him in time or prevent him from escalating the brawl. He failed him and was burrowed in guilt,regret and sadness. He couldn't stop his knees from buckling after getting close to enough and the confirmation just was too much for him. He collapsed and cried at the visual of Kwon's lifeless body. He was always hard on because he cared about his success. Everyone else to him was irrelevant, Kwon was the only one to elicit...such excitement. He gave him different feelings and now their all gone. He's gone. He didn't know why or how, just the sad fact that Kwon is dead.

[obsolescent]

I lovee all are of the dust a lot (I reread it for this and it hit me just as much!!) so I would LOVE to hear what u thought while writing it🥰 especially this part bc AAA

Oh lord Em…. The way I just dropped to my knees reading what I wrote again… Sit down and get comfortable 🛋️

The soul of Ethel Cain reached into the depths of my being and wrenched All Are of The Dust out of me while I was listening to this song of her’s (specifically the second half of the song)

The lines “Please, don't love how I need you / And know that one day, you and I could be okay,” are ones that resonate throughout this.

I was like let me try my hand at writing angst, let me dip my toes in. At first, like you with 505, I had become uninspired with it before I had even wrote anything down. But I sat and dug through my mind, and motivation struck with the Preacher’s Daughter album.

Southern gothic imagery galore, it’s what I had been envisioning for this piece. I was like, this is what I needed! So I thought of this world, where you and Leon had grown up together, the trailer park not too far from the orphanage, inseparable in and outside of school, twin flames who found one another so early in life and refuse to be separated.

This was also meant to be for someone who is trans in some way, hence the part where he suggests moving to a bigger city, that you would find more people like yourself. I did leave it ambiguous though, but that’s the theme that’s interlaced with the story. He knows how hard it was for you growing up, and having been there the whole time and being your favorite listener, he knows you best. He wants you to flourish and knows you’ve been hindered by your childhood.

As a child, he knew there wasn’t much he could do to keep you safe from adults, their words like the worst paper cut to skin. Especially from a so called “loved one” who was supposed to have been someone who rallied behind you, not join the opposing party. Leon intends to make good on his word and keep his promise, if you’ll let him.

He wants to save you from that god forsaken town, leave it all behind and start anew. He never wants you away from his side for long, but he also knows just how scared you are, how terrifying change can be to someone, having to go through it when he lost his parents at such a young age. You, on the other hand, also know that if you agree to leave, finding yourself in a new place, the independence you had gained would vanish. No familiar buildings or signs nor faces, regardless of how rude they could be. You having to depend on someone once more, no matter how much they mean to you, has you digging your nails into your palms enough to draw blood, a scream bubbling up inside.

Leon would never push you into something that you’re not completely behind, so he’ll let you make your decision on your own. He knows you need time to mull it over, let you have your time with your thoughts. Though, he feels unsettled by the feeling that’s stirring in his gut, for the one answer he dreads to hear.

I do have it to where there’s two ways this can end. I won’t go much into detail here for the fact that I have much planned for it, but this really did inspire me to pick this story back up.

Thank you, Em, for wanting to hear my rambling and wanting an analysis on my work, we both share in the brain rot that is Leon Kennedy 🧡🤝🤍

[laffy-taffy-creations]

DAY THIRTY ONE!!!!!!! WE MADE IT!!!!!!!!

This fic was cross-posted on AO3 here

'Hero' Isn't a Job, It's You

Emptiness | Setbacks | "Take it easy"

"I thought I was getting better"

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Words: 1,435

Warnings: Mental breakdowns, dark topics including past: abuse, experimentation, and deaths

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, we all ready?” Shigaraki asked.

“I am!” I piped up.

“We are too,” Toga said, Twice next to her. She smiled at me.

“Good, OV and Twice, you two remember contingency?”

“I’m ready for anything in case of a Murphy’s Law and I’ve made sure he can control my quirks to some extent when sending out a copy of me.”

Tomura nodded. “Good. Let’s go.”

I opened up our entrance portal as Himiko downed some blood and shifted into one of the 1-A students. We entered into one of the hero storage facilities, presumably for support items and materials for costumes, but what was most important to me was the tech and information servers.

We’d gotten some insider information that something of interest had been moved to this specific facility in particular, and now it was my job to find it while the other 3 caused a scene. I really appreciated that they did everything in their power to prevent me from coming into contact with any sort of heroes, even if I had assured them time and time again I could handle it. Since my escape, I had been doing better at dealing with heroes and seeing them face to face. I'd even fought a couple, no repercussions.

I ran through the halls, using my birth quirk to silence my footsteps and searching for any sort of area where the tech would be stored. It would give me my first clue on where specifically to look. The advantages of doing this today was that the one hero class was visiting, which meant nobody was really in the units themselves, instead the very few people here were tending to the trainees. By causing a ruckus, there was a close to zero chance I’d be interfered with.

I found an area where they had some computers, and well since I was here I might as well plug in Donovan. Looking through the stuff in the room, there were extra parts here and there for past support items. I even recognized a few for heroes I’d seen very sparingly.

Donovan beeped at the computer and I took out the drive.

There was nothing else in the room. “Donovan, tell me where the special item is.”

“Okay, but I’m warning you now that when you find it you wont like it.”

He directed me through the winding building towards where this ‘special secret’ was, until I came upon a medium sized storage room, a bit bigger than a standard storage unit. There was shelves and racks, containing costumes, fabrics, tech pieces, and more support items.

I sifted through things, I’d find whatever this was soon enough. I wanted to loot this place of every specialized piece of tech I could find.

I dropped several things into my Limbo before I heard the door open. That wasn’t supposed to happen.

I was hidden behind some of the shelves, and looked through them, watching as a hero walked into the room and crouched down, opening up something that looked like a safe of some sort. I couldn’t get as good of a look at them through the small crack between things littering the shelves, so I crept towards the edges of it, rounding the corner ever so slightly.

Then I froze. I knew this hero.

And this hero knew me.

He knew me damn well.

My breathing picked up, vision clocking out here and there, limbs refusing to move, unable to hear over the sounds of my heart. I didnt even know if anything was going on around me until I heard a crash and then a yell. Tomura had tackled him and wasn’t trying to kill him, but definitely making full use of his quirk. “TOGA GET THEM OUT OF HERE NOW!”

A copy of Himiko showed up after him. “C’mon Vee, we’ve gotta go.”

My body kicked itself into gear even though my brain was still trying to catch up. I was in front of the safe he’d opened, then I was rushing down the hall with Toga, it was all happening too fast.

Only once everything slowed down, when the mission was over and I made the portal back did it finally catch up with me.

I took a shaky breath and almost dropped what I was holding.

“Just take it easy Vee,” Himi said, taking what I’d gotten out of the safe. It was a rack of chemicals.

A rack of quirk chemicals.

A rack of the chemicals that had been used on me.

I tried taking a deep breath, it was almost all too much.

Shiggs guided me over to my room, dragging me by pinching my sleeve. He closed the door after sitting me down on the bed. “Alright kiddo, what was that?”

"I thought I was getting better..." The tears started to prick at my eyes. The hyperventilation started again. “I-it- he- I-”

“Woah woah hey! Careful…” he sat down next to me.

“He was the-e hero that e-experi-imented on me…”

And it felt like time stopped. He froze up. They’d known when taking me in that I had been experimented on by a hero. They didnt know who, just that it was good enough reason to let me join them mixed with my abilities.

But now they knew. Now he knew.

My powers started sparking across the room around us, probably more than I thought since my eyes were blurry with tears. “C-can I…?” I couldnt get the whole question out.

He nodded slowly.

‘I’d cover your ears.’

I took in a deep breath and screamed at the top of my lungs. It was loud, it was heavy, the room was swirling as I let my power loose. Nothing looked real anymore. Everything had completely changed. The colors, the shapes, the style. Reality was no longer itself.

Reality was no longer its own.

Everything was moving yet still, my quirk’s effects loud yet nothing more than a low hum.

He experimented on me. He hurt me. He did the same to my friends. He’s the reason I haven’t seen my parents since I was 9. I cant say hi to Max anymore. I cant play with Rullo anymore. I cant comfort Indira when she has nightmares anymore. Lian died because of him. Adonia died because of him. Relena is the one taking care of all the things that were my responsibilities now. I’ve been out of the lab for almost 3 years now and I haven’t made any progress toward saving them yet. He’s starting to hide the quirk chemical in fucking hero facilities now. He’s the reason my life has gone to shit.

I sobbed and sobbed, the things happening were out of my hands. I barely had enough presence of mind to prevent Tomura’s quirk from being taken from him and his body ripped to shreds. It was the only thing keeping me present and from wreaking havoc on everything.

I would not hurt my friend.

After minutes, hours, it could’ve been anything since reality was now at my beck and call, I finally calmed. I breathed deep breaths, finally getting that under control.

I forced the abscesses of my quirk to retreat, starting up my healing quirk and holding one hand to each of Shiggy’s ears. I didnt need to ask, I knew how loud I could be, I knew I’d probably damaged his ears in one way or another.

“Thanks,” he said once I retracted my arms. “You doing better after that?’

I nodded sheepishly. There was a knock at the door and Himiko poked her head through. “Hey, everything alright in here? There was a bunch of loud noise and then it all stopped.”

��Y-yeah, uhm-”

“OV had a breakdown. That hero they ran into was the one who experimented on them,” Tomura answered for me.

“Ah. Well, we need your help figuring out what the fuck you brought back, so, join us please?” She looked a little desperate.

“I already know what it is. It’s something generally referred to as the ‘quirk chemical’, and if you mix it in a 1:1 solution with something from nature you’ll temporarily get a new quirk. Do it repeatedly in the correct way for about a month you’ll get one permanently.”

“Oooooo, well come out here anyways, show us how it works!” she said with a devilish look on her face before disappearing back behind my door.

“We should probably go anyways before one of them downs it out of impulse,” I said, pushing myself up and leaving to go stop something stupid from happening before it starts.

[rassvetsky]

there's bucky on your masterlist so here i go, bucky hiding and taking care of reader when the reader is being searched for? maybe the reader is a former enhanced soldier or something like that too. i hope i made myself clear lol thanks!

tysm for the request!! im actually so happy that i got a bucky barnes request hehe (and this specific anon sent me another ask with a pt. 2 idea are they perhaps an angel.)

Lost & Found

bucky barnes x gn!reader

it takes one brainwashed soldier to find another.

[3.6k] | ex hydra!reader, mentions of torture, mentions of brainwashing, mentions of murder, being chased, trust issues, traumatized reader, my poor english skills & bucky being a sweetheart. pt. 2 later maybe??

reblog and/or like for a kiss, feedback much appreciated! not proofread.

Your legs felt like they could give out any minute, your lungs burning with the lack of oxygen. You didn't feel like you had enough time for a deep breath as your feet carried you forward, making you feel a bit dizzy and disconnected. The relief of knowing kept you sane, however. Knowing where you were, what you were doing, who you were.

God, you missed knowing who you were.

Before it all, you were an excellent Intelligence Officer, under SHIELD's wing. Kept your personal life and job far away from one another, divided by a three-meter long rampier. Came back from work to a quiet, warm apartment where you could finally relax and unwind.

That was until during one mission, everything went downhill and you lost contact with the rest of your team- your tracker was broken to pieces after the fall, your body covered in debris. And even though you expected to see familiar faces when you finally opened your eyes with a pained grunt, you only saw the muzzles of a few guns pointed at you, before you blacked out again.

That's where a brand new chapter in your life started, erasing each and every single one behind.

Memories of the past few years were reduced to snippets of gore. Your blood, mixed against someone else's. Torture, inflicted by you, or to you. Information that didn't belong to you instilled in your brain. You didn't have a say in it. You couldn't, because how could anyone stand their ground against scary men with weapons bigger than themselves?

It took them a long while to trust you with missions. Your mind refused to let them in at first, knowing exactly what was to come. Exactly what they were trying to create out of you. You held on for as long as you could, no matter how painful it was because you still knew that even if you cooperated, they'd still hurt you, just to break into the barriers of the human mind.

When they started making progress with the brainwashing period, the training period started. That part was a bit rushed, you were a needed asset and you couldn't be kept in a base forever. Certain missions were supposed to be completed, and most of the time, they weren't that hard on you. Even though they didn't let you go on every single mission, the ones you went on were exactly what you were trained for. Infiltrate, execute, abandon. Nothing big. Get back to the base, and wait. Until next time that they'd need you.

You didn't plan on going back. Not anymore.

And that's why when the base got raided down, you didn't stay to help. You didn't stay to be rescued, even though you knew exactly who was behind the raid and they could definitely help. Through the sound of bullets shooting through, walls being broken down, and screams of pure agony, you still ran, far away from anyone that could recognize you.

But Bucky did.

You gave him the push to escape after the Battle of Triskelion, and still, let him go. Told him to never come back, no matter what. Didn't tell anyone.

He wanted to come back for you, he tried to; but you were moved away before he could get to you. And with that, you were a ghost again. Untraceable. Back to square one, former intelligence officer of SHIELD that got 'killed' after a certain job. Someone who knew too much, someone nobody dared to look for.

He tried to get his hands on everything he could find about you. The school you went to, your late family, former co-workers; everything. Intervention after intervention, at some point, he finally stopped chasing after a ghost, taking Steve's advice. But even when nobody saw you run, he did, and he would recognize you anywhere. Just like you did for him years ago, he let you go, and didn't tell anyone.

It took you a while to get back to your senses. Your brain desperately wanted you to go back to the base, just because you got used to it all. It was a constant battle between knowing you should never go back to that hell, and feeling worthless unless you do.

You knew that couldn't just resurface after all those years, after everything you've done. After everything they made you do. Even though you didn't have a say in anything, you were still the one who pulled the trigger, and you wouldn't exactly blame anyone for thinking that you changed your side on purpose, brainwashed or not.

And back to the moment, as everything you've been through flashed before your eyes, you kept running. It was the desire to stay alive that kept you up on your feet, that let you run even faster than you thought you could.

Out of all the other places, you didn't expect to be found in Slovakia, and honestly, you weren't even sure who it was behind you, but you still ran through the empty streets in the night, footsteps as quiet as they could get as you pushed yourself forward with every ounce of power left in your body.

But the sound of the motorcycle engine kept drawing closer and closer, as you held onto the straps of your backpack tighter and kept going. The pads of your feet, your calves, they all hurt but you weren't going to stop now. Not that easy. And when you finally saw your figure shadowing the motorcycle's headlight, you reached for your pistol, silencer worn.

The engine stopped. You stopped. And for a moment, nobody dared to make a move. Not even a sound was spared through the quiet nature of the night before you slowly turned around, pistol pointed towards the driver. Tactical outfit, fully black as if he wanted to blend in with the shadows, just like you. He seemed muscular, biceps visible through the thick material. And he just stood there, not even daring to draw a weapon. Just stared, you assumed, behind the helmet.

"I'm going to ask this once," you spoke up, voice raspy and a bit out of breath. "and you're not getting more than ten seconds to answer. Make a move, you're dead." you took a few steps towards him, shaky hand clutching the cold metal weapon so tight that you felt like it wasn't even shaking anymore. "Who are you?"

He didn't answer at first. Just reached for his helmet, as slowly as he could, before lifting it off his head. Brown, medium-length hair fell against his face before he pushed them behind, and a pair of eyes locked gaze with yours. You could see him with the street light's contribution, and the face was way too familiar, so you figured he was one of the-

Oh.

Of course.

Those steel blue eyes. You'd recognize them anywhere. "Got your answer?" he spoke, for the first time, and his voice erased every single one of your suspicions. It was him. The one and only, Winter Soldier, most important asset of HYDRA. The one you were sent a hundred times to clean up after, to protect, to report to. Only he could be dumb enough to come back for you, even when you specifically told him not to.

"Asset."

The long motorcycle ride didn't help with your exhaustion, it only added to the fuel in the end. No words were spared until he led you to an empty apartment and locked the door behind the two of you, as you dropped your backpack on the couch before sitting down with a grunt. The place seemed quite rundown and empty, it was even cold. You didn't let your attention linger for any longer though, as your gaze fell to the hardwood ground beneath your feet.

Feeling his eyes on you, you decided to keep asking your questions until you could feel satisfied. Until you could feel trust forming. "How'd you find me?" you asked, watching him as he handed you a bottle of water, which he took from the console by the side of the room. He didn't speak until you took a few sips -which kind of made your throat hurt after all those hours of endless running and gasping for air-, taking a seat on the couch right by the side of yours, leaning back with a sigh of comfort.

"Let's just say I know the path a brainwashed soldier would follow," his tone was soft, almost as if he was trying to assure you that he wasn't posing as a threat here. He was on your side, his eyes desperately tried to tell you that. They held a glint of sympathy and understanding that you haven't seen from him before, back then you only knew him as HYDRA's fucktoy, held up to a certain importance which didn't keep him off from torture by any means. "You weren't easy to find, I'll give you that-"

"Why?" you blurted out, elbows against your knees as you buried your face in your palms. It all hurt- your brain felt like it was way bigger than your skull and you swore you could feel the pressure against the bone. Your throat was still sore, your legs felt numb and you just wanted to keep your eyes closed for a week straight. And through it all, you knew it wasn't worth it to go through all of that trouble, just to find you. You couldn't help but wonder if he had other plans with you, but for some reason, a voice in your head kept telling you to trust him. "Why would you even fucking bother?"

"Why did you bother?" he snapped back, one side of his lips tugged upward in a cheshire-like grin, just a bit more friendly than that. "I'm just paying you back." you didn't answer that, not exactly knowing what to say. You just exhaled through your mouth, looking up at him after a while of contemplating everything.

"I don't even know your name. You're just- Winter Soldier. The Asset, for me."

"I know yours."

"That's just creepy." and he chuckled at that, amused.

"It's Barnes. Bucky Barnes. Kind of surprised I wasn't the first thing you looked up after escaping." you shook your head, only able to offer a poor excuse of a smile as you rose up to your feet, all-tactical outfit not comfortable in the slightest bit.

You didn't tell him that you barely had an hour to sit down, the paranoia of being found eating you alive as you kept yourself in the shadows.

"I'm going to take a shower. And go to sleep. Don't make me regret trusting you, Barnes."

Let's just say, he didn't make you regret trusting him one bit. The two of you remained hidden for a couple of days in Slovakia, before escaping to Romania through the Hungarian border. It was an almost an eight-hour drive including your stops and the detours -and God, it made you hate motorcycles- before you two reached a safer spot -in his words-, to plan what to do next.

Bucky knew that the Avengers wouldn't trust you at first. For all the right reasons, obviously, he wasn't even sure why he trusted you in the first place. You just had something about you, a light in your eyes that still persisted, gentleness in your movement. He saw himself in you.

You weren't exactly in a condition where you could trust anyone either, you knew that the Avengers weren't the bad guys, not in the slightest, but you knew what kind of judgment you were going to face. The man helping you hide told you all about the judgment he went through. The fight between Stark and Rogers, how things that happened outside of his control caused a turmoil of events which eventually led to almost being killed by an Avenger. Not that Stark was wrong whatsoever, but you both knew that if HYDRA wanted you to do something, you would do it. Because the consequences would be far more horrendous.

And honestly, after all of that trauma, you weren't sure you could go through another set of people telling you that you're a disgusting murderer, nothing above an asset, nothing more than a toy. An evil being by choice.

And sure, you weren't former best friends with Steve fucking Rogers, you and Bucky barely knew one another. It only made sense for you to fear whatever it is that could come from the Avengers. "You know, you can't be on the run forever," Bucky absent-mindedly mumbled when you two were relaxing by the couch one day, while snacking on the leftover fries you ignored earlier, as you kept your eyes on the cartoon playing on the screen.

"Nothing else that I can do," you shrugged, reaching for his lap to steal a piece of food. He kept looking at you, this couldn't be kept up forever. The Avengers kept asking him where he was and what he was doing, and just for the sake of you, he had been lying to his friends for weeks now.

"Look, even if nobody else does, Sam and Steve would trust you," he huffed out, trying to reason with you. He understood the paranoia that kept you on the edge, but it wasn't like you were completely helpless. "Can't we give it a try?"

"If you want to leave so bad, Barnes, just go. You don't have to drag me along." you sighed, tucking your feet under your body to keep them warm. "I'm so grateful for everything you've done but please, I won't need your protection forever."

"And I know you don't, sweetheart," he wasn't giving it up, not that easy. Getting a hold of your wrist, he tried to tug you a bit closer. "But you need to trust me, yeah? Nobody's going to judge you while I'm here, not like they judged me. I'll make sure of that."

At that, you finally looked at him, heaving yet another sigh before reaching in to wrap your arms around his neck.

That was new.

You buried your head on his shoulder, eyes closed as you felt his arms wrap around your figure, too. His embrace was warm, humane, and so foreign that it made you flinch against his figure at first. Even though you fought against the trauma, it had still been years since you've had anyone touch you in a friendly way. "It's not that I don't trust you," you whispered. "I'm just afraid of everything going downhill again and- and ending up exactly where I started."

Bucky felt your pain in his chest, too. "That's not going to happen," he whispered back, reassuringly patting your back. "Not while you got me by your side. And if you'll only let me, Sam and Steve, too. Nothing you've done is unredeemable, there's nothing to be ashamed of." he pulled you away a bit, just to have you looking at him. "This isn't nearly as safe as where I want us both to be. Nobody can hurt you there. We'll- we'll find a way to get rid of the nightmares, the guilt- everything."

You could only nod as an answer, already -mentally- exhausted by everything that had been going on. You leaned on him for a while longer as he held you, whispering things in your ear that felt just right to hear. Some way, somehow; he knew exactly how to keep your mind at the moment, rather than in the past. He knew exactly how to remind you that it was all behind you now, and you only had the moment and the future coming after.

A few more days passed until you gave in and let him give the infamous Captain America and the Falcon a call, you specifically waited in your room until his conversation with them would be over because you didn't feel like you could handle the slightest bit of distress on his face at that moment. Your worries proved themselves to be unnecessary though, as Bucky burst into the room after a few minutes, relief clear on his face.

"Steve said he'll talk to Tony," he hummed, settling down on the bed right next to you. "Tony can be a bit suspicious of literally anything, but he means well. Hopefully, they'll arrange a ride for us and we'll be on our way, alright?"

"Right," you noted, a timid smile on your lips as you reached for his hand, holding it between both of your palms. "Thank you, Bucky."

"Anything for you."

You noticed how time would pass a bit faster in the Avengers Compound, as you were surrounded by things to spend your day with. You often found yourself in the training room, taking your frustrations out from a poor punching bag -which you started to feel bad for, even though it was clearly inanimate- or watching whatever movie you could find.

You didn't really talk to anyone else other than Bucky, and they didn't push it. After a few interrogation sessions -which Steve assured you that they were done just to learn more about what HYDRA did to you-, you were finally left alone -at least a little bit-, deciding to spend your time trying to get to know these people. You knew they used to work for SHIELD as well, but you never personally worked with them.

You found it easy to be comfortable with Natasha, she wasn't the most emotionally available person ever but she understood what you went through.

She'd try to drag you along to get-togethers, brush out your hair when you felt too out-of-it to do so, and sometimes even sit with you through a movie.

Sam was a bit harder to be around, but he was way too sweet for his own good. He did almost everything in his power to get you to play table tennis with him and to make it a usual "Y/N and Sam time" event, and it meant the world if he could get a smile out of your mostly-neutral expressions.

Steve was patient. He was easy to talk to, and easy to be around. And you knew that it was him who trusted you the most, after Bucky. He made sure you didn't skip any meals and kept your training up just so you wouldn't fall behind.

"If you want to redeem yourself," he said one day, after a particularly exhausting session, "You could help around in the Compound, or with missions. Not saying you have to, but if you ever wanted to, I'd love for you to tag along."

You were forever grateful.

The rest took a bit longer to give you the benefit of the doubt, but your fears diminished with time. There were certain ground rules -such as an alert system going off whenever you left your room, and of course, any sharp objects were kept far, far away from you- but finally, you were above a freak. A murderer.

After one long day, while everyone was huddled up in a room to watch a basketball game -which, according to Sam, was the most important thing to happen in the past few years-, you decided to get some fresh air and join them later.

Stepping out of the compound building, you sighed contently, the late night breeze waking your entire being up successfully. You paced around by yourself for a small while, before hearing the sliding door open, a smile making its way to your face almost immediately when you noticed it was Bucky. "Hey, you," he walked towards you, hands tucked tight in his jeans pockets.

You kept your eyes on him, expression soft and relaxed -which, Bucky wasn't used to seeing, but he could admit that it was one of the most beautiful sights he laid his eyes on-. "Aren't you gonna watch the game?"

"You weren't there, so," he shrugged, earning a subtle chuckle from you. It was then, that he reached for you and wrapped his flesh arm around your shoulder, tucking you close to his chest. "I'm glad you're here, you know?"

"Me too," you leaned against him, wrapping your own arms around his waist loosely as you looked up at the stars, at the moon. You were sure Bucky was the one to hang it there. "I'll- I'll get back on my feet as quickly as I can. And then I'll be of use, I promise."

"You don't have to rush," he snickered against your hair. "Let yourself heal. It's just nice to know that you're safe."

You slightly pulled away from him, hand against his chest as you looked up at his eyes. They were shining in all the right ways, reminding you where home was. By his side.

Now or never, you thought, before raising yourself a bit on your feet and planting your lips against his, unable to break away from the tentative kiss even after a few moments as he held you there. As he kissed you back. And he was so gentle as if you were made out of porcelain; soft lips brushing against yours with a meek passion. Each and every touch of his lips added fuel to the wildfire burning through your insides, keeping you warm through the breeze. You held his face in your palms as he tucked you closer to his body, both of you smiling against the kiss until it broke away.

"I've been planning on doing that for weeks." he breathed out, chuckling to himself in disbelief as he shook his head. "So thanks, for stealing my idea."

"Oh shush."

[babyboibucky]

Slut Fest Day 5 - Noncon

Pairing: TWS!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.3k yeah this is a full oneshot lmao

Warnings: Dark!Bucky obviously, fingering, unprotected p in v penetration, creampie, implied suicidal thoughts, use of a knife, mentions of wound and blood

A/N: This is the first time I wrote a full noncon fic so feedback is very much welcome!!! This will have a second part which is tomorrow’s prompt, Breeding

Slut Fest Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Your vision was hazy when you first opened your eyes, the splitting headache and body pain that came along with it almost made you think that you were merely having a hangover.

Almost.

Flashes of the previous night flooded your brain, you could only recall bits and pieces of what went down. You were at a club with your friends, lots of shots and dancing; there was a man in a black shirt that danced with you. He was ruggedly handsome and well-built with dark hair and a rough voice.

You searched your memories for a name...was it Brian? No, it was far from that. Brock? Yeah, you were confident that his name was Brock.

He danced with you that night and you were sure that he had asked whether you wanted to go somewhere private. And that’s where everything had gone to black.

Blinking helped you with your vision and now you can clearly see that you weren’t in your room. Looking around, you realized that you were in a cell. It was dark and damp, with only a single fluorescent light hanging from the ceiling above.

The pain in your shoulder and arms made you want to stretch but to no avail because it was only now that you discovered that your wrists were restrained and tied above your head. You were almost standing on your tiptoes with how high you were tied up, explaining the cause of your body ache.

“No, no...is someone out there?!” you screamed in panic as your mind finally understood what was going on.

“Please? Help me!” you yelled, tears prickling the corners of your eyes as you tugged at your wrist.

The echo of your voice was the only response you received. Up until you heard heavy footsteps approaching from afar. Your lips trembled in fear as you waited for someone to emerge from the dark.

And there he was, the man from last night, Brock. But he wasn’t alone.

In front of Brock was a man who was way taller and bigger than him— long brunette locks covered his face and if that wasn’t enough to keep his identity hidden, he had to be wearing a black mask as well.

It wasn’t just his large built and mysterious look that piqued your interest, it was his left arm. It was made out of what seemed to be metal; there was a red star painted on the shoulder.

“Good, you’re awake. Didn’t want to keep the Soldat waiting.” Brock said as he pushed the man inside the cell.

“Who the fuck are you?! Why am I here?!” you spat at Brock as you watched him close the cell door before locking it once more.

Brock merely smirked, “You were at the right place at the wrong time, baby. Needed to reward our asset with a little something, thought you looked like the perfect present.” he chuckled darkly.

“Soldat, she’s all yours.”

Those words made your bile rise up to your throat and the presence of the metal-armed man didn’t help you with your fear. You threw up all of a sudden, coughing as your tears began to fall endlessly.

“Please...please don’t.” it was all you could utter as you shook your head.

The sound of the Soldat’s heavy boots crushing the ground made your heart beat twice as fast. You probably looked pathetic, tugging at your wrists despite knowing that it was futile. The closer the Soldat was, the more you moved and thus, the weaker you got.

“Whoever you are, please...just help me out.” you pleaded.

The Soldat stopped when he was a feet away from you and suddenly, your breath hitched in your throat. His eyes were the bluest you’d seen and despite his intimidating appearance, they held a certain softness in them.

“I don’t know who you are but I know you don’t want to do this.” you softly said, hoping that he’d change his mind.

Your body jolted in shock when Soldat spoke, his voice was low and gravelly— hoarse even, like he hadn’t spoken in a long time.

“Такой красивый подарок.”

Such a pretty gift.

He lifted his metal hand and you flinched, afraid that he was going to hurt you. But he merely took your chin and wiped your bottom lip clean. Soldat was so close that you could hear his heavy breathing beneath his mask.

“Стоит ли мне развернуть подарок сейчас?”

Should I unwrap my present now?

“I...I don’t understand you.” you croaked out.

The way his blue eyes turned dark in a split second brought your fear back. Just like that, the softness he had turned into something so perverse, it sent shivers down your spine. You were about to say something when the Soldat gripped the neckline of your dress with his metal hand, tearing it open effortlessly leaving you in nothing but a pair of bra and underwear.

You screamed and tried to kick him but he was so much stronger than you. He didn’t even budge when your feet landed on his thigh. If any, your defiance triggered him and only placed you in a much more dangerous situation.

“I beg you, please…don’t do this.” you cried and cried.

A squeal escaped your lips when Soldat grabbed your face in his flesh hand, squeezing your cheeks as his eyes roamed around your face, taking in all of your features. His thumb grazed your mouth, tugging your bottom lip down before he spoke again, but this time, in a language you finally understood.

“Suck.”

Tears streaked down your cheeks as you shook your head but when you felt his hand tighten around your face, you were left with no choice but to obey. Letting out a shaky breath, you took his thumb into your mouth and sucked.

Soldat hummed before you felt his thumb press down on your tongue. He moved his thumb in and out of your mouth before letting go of your face and taking a small step back away from you.

You hoped he had a change of heart. He didn’t.

You let out a gasp when you saw him take out a knife from one of his holsters, skillfully flipping it before bringing it close to your face. You’d never known fear like this before, it was extremely horrifying.

It felt like you were face to face with the god of death himself.

“Don’t kill me, please! Please let me go, please...I’m not going to say anything to the police, I swear. I’ll stay quiet, I promise.” you sobbed.

Your pleas fell on deaf ears; the Soldat wiped away your tears before he dragged the tip of his knife from your neck down to the strap of your bra, slicing it before moving onto the next, letting it fall to the ground, leaving you bare for him.

There was nothing else you could do to escape and yet you tugged and tugged at your wrists, ignoring the stinging pain from how the restraints were now digging onto your skin. Your wails were unheard and the more you screamed for help, the more helpless you felt.

The Soldat moved to slice the sides of your underwear before tearing them off of you, throwing the fabric behind him. He took a step back, as if admiring his present before him and he loved it.

He loved seeing you like that, vulnerable and helpless. All for him to use, to take and to ruin.

A cold hand ran up from your hip to your ribs, the coolness of the metal making your entire body shiver. A soft sob echoed in the cell when the Soldat cupped your breast before his fingers pinched a nipple, making you cry out.

Your body was responding to his touches despite your protests and it was making you frustrated. You didn’t want this and yet your body craved for more, needed more from him.

The Soldat’s hand traveled to do the same to your other breast before sliding down to your abdomen, making you hiss at the cold sensation. His eyes met yours the same time he cupped your mound.

Your body jumped up as you cried, feeling his fingers rub at your cunt. You begged him to stop but at the same time, you wanted him to continue. Everything was a blur to you now; your pussy began to weep for the same man you wanted to run away from.

Biting your lip, you tried your hardest not to make a sound. Warmth crept up to your face when your hips began to move on their own, grinding against the Soldat’s hand as he continued to rub your folds at a slow, steady pace.

You felt ashamed. You weren’t supposed to feel good and yet you did.

The Soldat seemed to have noticed that you were holding back because he suddenly pressed his thumb against your clit at the same time he slid his middle finger in. The intrusion was enough to make you whimper, something that urged Soldat to keep going.

“N-no…” you whined.

He pumped his finger in and out of your cunt in a quicker pace until you felt your wetness dripping down your thighs. You cried and refused to look at him in the face so you rested your forehead against your arm.

Your body was giving up from how you were restrained, your arms were starting to feel numb and your legs were trembling both from pleasure and from trying to support your entire weight on your toes.

“S-soldat…” you unintentionally called out his name when he added another finger in.

It stirred something darker within the man, something primal and feral that made you want to just die right then and there. Perhaps it was better for him to kill you.

He continued to finger your cunt while rubbing your clit in circles, faster and faster until you were crying out both from shame and from your release. Wetness gushed out of your pussy, soaking his metal hand. He pulled his fingers out of your cunt and stuck it into your mouth, muffling your sobs.

“Я хочу попробовать тебя в следующий раз.”

I want to taste you next time.

The Soldat was quick to remove his fingers from your mouth, only to move them towards the zipper of his pants. Your eyes widened as you watched him take his cock out, pumping it a couple of times before he stood close to you.

You shook your head, “I don’t want this, please. Soldat, please…”

“Продолжай умолять, милая девушка.”

Keep begging, pretty girl.

In one swift motion, the Soldat hoisted your legs to wrap around his waist before sliding his cock into your pussy. You gasped out loud at the sudden stretch, your brows furrowing into your forehead at the stinging pain. The Soldat was relentless and didn’t give you time to adjust.

He kept on taking and taking and taking until nothing was left from you.

His cock was huge, it filled you up like never before. It stretched you out to the point of pain, making you sob out loud. Your lip began to bleed from how hard you were biting down on it, you were giving it your all not to moan but one particular thrust rendered your efforts a failure.

You moaned out loud when the tip of his cock hit your cervix, making your body tremble from the pleasure that shot through your veins. Your toes curled and your hands balled into fists when the Soldat kept on hitting that particular spot.

He started groaning and cursing in the same language he had been speaking. His hands on your hips were tight as he brought your body down on his cock each time he thrusted into you. Your restraints kept on jangling above you, as if they were mocking you and the way your body was reacting to the Soldat.

The Soldat sped up his thrusts, fucking you harder and deeper until you were gasping for air. His cock was punching the air out of you and with the heat building up in your abdomen, it was becoming difficult to breathe.

Your entire body was covered with a sheen of sweat while your face was drenched with your tears. You threw your head back when the Soldat brought his thumb to your clit, pressing down on it.

Looking up at your wrists, you noticed how wounded they already were. Small droplets of blood began to drip from your wrists down to your arm. You closed your eyes and refused to watch the Soldat’s assault on your body.

“Please, stop…” you softly begged, your voice barely above a whisper.

The Soldat didn’t stop and only went faster until you were a sobbing mess. Your body shook when your orgasm hit you wave after wave. You ended up crying out his name as you finished, drenching his cock with your juices.

His grunts were becoming louder and his thrusts sloppier. You knew that he was close and you didn’t want him to finish inside of you. You tried to move your hips away but he was too strong and managed to hold you in place as he fucked you until his balls tightened.

Two more thrusts and he was done, groaning out loud as you felt ropes of his cum fill you up. Your whine turned into a full cry when you realized that you were done for.

Just like that, the Soldat pulled out of you and tucked his cock back into his pants.

Your body had given up and you allowed yourself to just hang limply, ignoring the throbbing pain on your shoulders. At this rate, you were sure that your shoulders were already injured from having been restrained like that for hours.

Your cries died down into hiccups, you’d completely given up. The feeling of the Soldat’s release tainting your legs as it dripped out of your abused cunt was a clear indication that you’d lost everything.

The Soldat lifted your head up with his metal hand; he caressed your cheekbones gently as he finally removed his mask, revealing his face to you.

You were on the verge of passing out when he showed you his face, the last thing you saw before your vision turned  black.

The Soldat truly was the god of death.

[kermitbread]

hear me out—no, you will listen to me. sit down there and listen very carefully

I will bestow you a cat returns au... in the form of a list of erratic thoughts I've been having since 10pm last night I think I've gone batshit insane

part one of idk because I have too much going on in my brain to put it in a single list so here part two will be out maybe tomorrow

okay, so we have nene as our lovely protagonist

she thinks of herself as unassuming, just an ordinary girl

her best friend is mei and they're both in the same class together

nene has a crush on this one popular guy at their class but she's too shy to confess (even with mei's constant encouragement)

she doesn't really count on something utterly bizzare to happen to her while walking back home from school

while talking to mei, carrying the shovel she had borrowed from a neighbor to return

she spotted an orange cat run from a convenience store

now what was strange about this was that the cat was carrying a small white box wrapped in a red ribbon in it's mouth

nene questioned this, while mei didn't really see it as a big deal

the cat suddenly began to cross the road, not realizing the huge truck coming it's way

the driver won't be able to see a small cat like him, nene thought

she ran off, surprising mei as she approached the cat, who had froze in place upon seeing the incoming truck

she swung the shovel, scooping up the cat and flinging it to the bushes

she also luckily managed to step aside quickly enough to avoid getting run over by the truck

unfortunately she had dropped the shovel and the truck wheels snapped it's wooden handle into pieces

how was she going to explain that to her neighbor now?

she turned to the cat, and she couldn't believe her eyes

it was standing on its hind legs, dusting itself off like a human would

and it talked. it fucking talked

it thanked her for her kindness, and promised to reward her soon enough before picking the box back up and leaving

she could only sit there, dumbfounded, as mei ran up to her, yelling in concern

she regained her senses though, and continued back home without any more scuffle

"must have been my imagination. I'll just go to bed and forget all about this."

oh you were so wrong nene so so wrong

next thing she knows a parade of cats walking like humans stopped in front of her house

a cat in robes and spectacles introduced her to the supposed king of the cats

they had apparently wanted to thank her for rescuing the king's only son

a very frightening old man—erm, cat, sat in a portable throne, only addressing her through short sentences

and a brown spotted cat declared about the rewards she was going to be having tomorrow

nene didn't know why or how she was acting calm throughout the whole thing

but the next morning was chaos

cattails overgrew in the front of her house, catnip placed in her skirt pocket that attracted a lot of neighborhood cats, and bugs and rats in her locker

what kind of horrific rewards were these?! they were only things cats would enjoy!

even worse, she saw her crush hanging out with another girl, supposedly his girlfriend

as she wallows in her sorrow, the brown spotted cat from last night had visited her at school

she doesn't really pay attention as he tells her if she didn't like their first wave of gifts, she can get married to their prince

yeah. maybe marrying a cat prince would be good. cats had it easy, and she wouldn't have to worry anymore. no one would be bothered by her ever again.

wait.

the brown spotted cat took her mumbling to herself a yes, and before she could even properly tell him her refusal, he had already left

oh great. now she was going to get married to a cat. A fucking cat.

whatever will she do?

a girl's voice spoke to her, although she couldn't see where it was coming from

the voice told her to find the cat bureau, by finding the black cat that would lead her to it

ultimately, upon walking from school, she spots a black cat snoozing on an outdoor cafe's chair

she felt like an idiot, asking a cat, but she did it anyway

"are... you the black cat that I'm supposed to find?"

no answer. it was hopeless, anyway

"ah, what am I doing. you're just a stupid cat anyway. And I'm stupid for even doing this."

but the black cat suddenly meowed at her before she could leave, looking back at her with glowing yellow eyes

and it didn't look like it appreciated her stupid cat comment

it then tilted it's head, signalling her to follow it

nene had to go through literal ups and downs before she reached a quiet, peaceful spot she had never seen before

it looked like a miniature town, nifty looking houses built next to each other circling a fountain with a statue of a giant crow on the center

the black cat she had followed was now sitting on a chair in front of a bigger, white house, reading a newspaper like it was nobody's business

was this the place? she was about to ask when the sun had began to set, and lights began to shine from the houses

it was beautiful until the black cat interrupted

"oh come on, amane. no one wants to see your cheesy light shows."

the lights immediately died out, and before she knew it, the door of the white house opened, warm yellow light shining from the inside

one step. another one.

nene found herself staring down at another identical black cat, only this time... in a white suit?

he was definitely a cat, alright, but he had the proper proportions of a human

he tilted his hat at her, smiling

"welcome to the cat bureau, darling. we've been expecting you."

oh. so much charisma

[supercorpkid]

Mind Controlled – The Series.

Part 4 – There’s no forgiveness.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader.

Word count: 2190.

Warning: Injuries, pain, angst.

Previously on the series - part 1, part 2, part 3

Kara lands in the backyard when the first ray of the sun hits the sky. You’re still glued to her, covered in blood, sweat and tears. Your throat hurts like you’ve been screaming for hours straight. Your mind feels lazy, like for some reason you’ve lost part of your brain function. There’s blood coming out of several parts of your body, and you don’t know how any of those bruises ended up on you.

“Water, please.” You beg, when Kara goes inside the house and she takes you to the kitchen, still carrying your floppy body everywhere. You look at the kitchen wall. Bricks exposed, dust and broken parts on the floor and you gasp at the image imprinted on the wall. “I hurt you.”

“No, baby.” Kara sits you on the stool. She grabs water and pours cereal into a bowl for you. You don’t move. You can’t take your eyes from the wall. “You know I have super strength. You didn’t hurt me.”

“But I tried to.” You drink the water, so your mind gets occupied with something. What have you done? “Where’s mom? Did I hurt her too?”

“Baby.” Kara goes to you, and holds your face, gently. “I know you don’t remember anything, but you have to believe me. You didn’t hurt a single soul, ok?” You want to agree, but it’s hard because you really don’t remember if it’s true. “Eat something. You really need to shower this blood off, and you need some sleep.”

“But-” You try to argue, but Kara doesn’t want to talk anymore. So you look to the floor, finding impossible to stare at the wall and the proof you’ve acted like a monster. “Oh my God.”

“What, baby?” Kara follows your eyes to the floor.

“Mom’s vase. I broke mom’s vase.” You get up from the stool, stumbling your way to the vase. You fall on the floor, collecting one of the pieces. “She loved this.”

“My love, it’s just a vase.” Kara makes her way to where you are, crouching next to you.

“But you brought as a gift from that time you went to Japan, and she… SHE LOVES THIS!” You cry, trying to collect every piece, bleeding on the porcelain. “She will never forgive me.”

“Baby, no, no.” Kara takes the broken pieces from your hands, and picks you up. “That’s enough of self-loathing, come on.” She sits on the stool again. “Eat, please.”

You do as she told you to. It doesn’t take long until you’re clean and wrapped up in blankets and Kara’s arms, and you fall into a turbulent, but still needed sleep.

When you wake up, it’s the middle of the afternoon. You make your way to the kitchen, feeling equally shitty on the outside, but at least you can stand up now. On the inside you feel worse, like you have done things so horrible your brain is refusing to let you remember them. It sits heavy on your stomach and on your heart. You hope to Rao you haven’t done something irredeemable.

You walk in the kitchen and look around. Kara already cleaned the vase, and even though the wall is still broken, she somehow managed to make it look less like her body-shape. There’s so much food waiting for you, it looks like Kara is trying to feed a Kryptonian army.

“Hey, baby. Got some rest?” Kara comes closer, and she grabs your hands, studying them for the marks there. She looks at the marks on your wrists, and even lifts your shirt to look at the raw flesh of your ribcage, to make sure your injuries are better. They are not. “You need sunlight.”

“Momma, I’m not a sunflower.” You huff, while Kara picks you up again, taking you to the backyard, to the table there.

“Yes, you are.” She jokes and you look up to her while pouting.

“You are a sunflower.” You cross your arms, making Kara laugh.

She comes back into the house to pick up the food, and a few seconds later most of the food is in front of you.

“Where’s mom?” You ask, looking around, and since you don’t have your glasses, you can use your x-ray vision. “You said I didn’t hurt her, so why isn’t she home yet?”

“You didn’t hurt anyone, but you broke some stuff.” Kara grabs one slice of pizza, and sits next to you. Your eyes grow bigger.

“Besides her vase?” You still can’t forgive yourself for that. Kara nods. “What else?”

“Your training center.” She sighs, and your eyes are filled with tears right away. “You burnt it, actually.”

“I’m so sorry!” You cover your face with your hands, feeling embarrassed and sad. You loved going there and practicing with aunt Alex and your momma. Why the hell did you do that for?

“It wasn’t you.” Kara pulls you into a hug, and kisses your forehead. “You didn’t want to do or say any of those things. We know, baby.”

“But-” You tried to argue, still not understanding.

“Baby, you were mind controlled.” Kara breathes out her answer. “You did things you didn’t mean to. Someone else was pulling the strings. None of that was inside of you, none of that was what you once thought or wanted to do, ok?”

“Is that why I don’t remember a thing about it?” You ask, confused. Kara agrees with her head, and you look down trying to think. That’s a good thing. To know none of that was inside of you, and to know you didn’t mean to do any of that. But still, somebody used your body and your memories to hurt the ones you loved and the places you love, so that is terrifying. You look up to her again. “Someone, who?”

“Lex.” Kara lets out and you agree with your head, not wanting to hear anything else.

Ok, so you didn’t physically hurt anyone, but you know Lex (or at least his reputation), so you know that he probably found other ways to hurt people. And Lena, poor Lena, was probably his first choice for that, because he genuinely hates her.

You really want to apologize, so you can’t wait until Lena to get home for you to do so. But she doesn’t come. You wait and wait, but Lena never arrives. You probably screwed up with her big time.

Kara keeps reassuring you that you didn’t, that none of it it’s your fault, but it can’t be true. So, one day Lex mind controls you to beat up your momma, destroy important places to you, and you’re supposed to believe this has nothing to do with Lena not coming home to you?

You wake up before Kara does, and you go to the kitchen to make her breakfast, so you can somehow apologize for whatever it is that happened on the day and night before. You make her all of her favorites, and leave a note under a flower on the counter for when she wakes up.

You are the sunflower.

You don’t wait for her to wake up, though. Your heart has been desperate for hours wanting to see your mom and have her forgiveness and feel her comfort. There’s nothing more comforting in the world than Lena’s hands on your hair while you place your head on her lap.

You listen to her heartbeat, and you go to her. You land on Lena’s balcony at L Corp, looking inside to where she is sitting on the couch. You also notice other things: Her overnight bag pushed to the side, untouched food in front of her, her red eyes and puffy cheeks. It breaks your heart all the more.

“Mom.” You go to her, kneeling on the floor in front of her and placing your head on her lap. “Please, forgive me. Please.”

“Come on, baby, stand up.” Lena tries to hold your hand, but you settle on her lap, weeping mercifully.

“I don’t know what I said, or did, but I know I’ve hurt you. Please, please, forgive me.” You ask between the tears and the cracks in your voice. Lena’s hands go to your head. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

“It wasn’t you.” Lena strokes your hair, gently. “It was Lex mind controlling you. Babygirl, I’m not angry. Everything is ok.”

You lift your head so you can look at her. Lena gives you a sad little smile, while cleaning the tears on your face.

“But-but you’re here.” You look around. “You’re not home, because you can’t be around me anymore.”

“What? Baby, no!” Lena holds your arms gently, making you stand and sit next to her. She gives you a comforting hug, that feels too nice to be fake. And cups your face, right after. “This has nothing to do with you. Do you hear me?”

“I don’t understand.” You furrow your brows, looking scared and lost. “You’re sleeping in your office at L Corp right after I was turned into a monster. How can this have nothing to do with me?”

“Babygirl, do you trust me?” Lena asks. Her eyes flicker, anxiously, studying your face, like she’s afraid of your answer.

“More than myself.” It’s your most truthful sentence. She gives you a soft smile.

“Then believe me when I tell you, I’m not mad at you, and I’m not here because I can’t be around you.” She strokes your cheeks with her thumbs. “I love you more than anything, and I’m very, extremely, deeply happy that my baby is back.”

“I am.” You repeat, agreeing with your head. “Then, please come back home.”

“I can’t.” She kisses your forehead, and then lets go of your face. “Not now, anyways.”

“Mom.” You try, but she shakes her head like she’s telling you to stop this conversation.

“Please, have breakfast with me?” She asks turning to the food before you, and even though you already ate, you refuse to say no and let her eat alone.

When you’re finished eating, and you see that Lena actually ate something, you decide to pick the subject back again.

“Mom, I know I was mind controlled, but, um, I need to make sure I didn’t physically hurt you or said anything too painful.” She looks at you, pointing at herself, like she’s saying that she’s not hurt. “Right. And the second part?”

“Baby, I told you. The things you said? All Lex.” She kisses your forehead again. “Stop worrying.” You wish it was that simple. That you could just simply stop worrying, but you look at her face, you see the sadness in her eyes, and you know you would do anything to make her happy again.

Your phone starts ringing and she looks at it, reading the name in it.

“Answer it, so Kara doesn’t worry about you.” She says, and you furrow your brows.

Kara. Heart beating fast. Breath stuck in her lungs.

“Hey, momma.”

“Kid, where are you? You made all this breakfast and left me here to eat alone?”

“Came to check upon mom.”

“Oh, um, right. How-How is Lena?”

Lena. Choking on her words. Dear Rao. This isn’t about you at all.

“Sleeping at her office, so not great.”

Lena raises an eyebrow at you, and you hear Kara sucking on air.

“You guys want to tell me something?” You ask on the phone while looking at Lena.

“We’ll talk when you get home.” You hear Kara’s voice, and then the dial tone. You lower your phone and keep waiting for Lena’s response.

“It has nothing to do with you.” Lena says, holding your hands, and stroking your bruises lightly. “This is between me and your momma only, ok?”

“Mom, please, come home. Whatever it is, you two need to talk.” You ask, and she shakes her head in denial.

“Please baby. Let’s not talk about it.” Even though she added the ‘please’ you know it’s not a request. You know your mom, and you can see it on her face that you better drop the subject right now, or you will make things worse.

So, it seems that none of your moms are mad at you, or sad about the things you’ve said and done. It looks like it has nothing to do with you, and it’s a fight between them.

Alex also doesn’t seem to care, when you see her in the middle of the week, she just smiles and waves at you. She doesn’t even want to listen to your apology, she just cuts you off with a “kiddo, save that apology for a time you do this with your worst intentions. This wasn’t your fault, so I don’t need no apology.”

And you wish that could go into your brain and make you forgive yourself for the things that you know, now, you’ve done. But there’s still exposed bricks on your kitchen wall, there’s still no place for you to practice, and there’s still no Lena in your house. And as the week goes on and on, and you don’t know if she’ll ever come back, there’s no forgiveness you can give to yourself.

[lightfromandromeda]

brains been on a tenth doctor kick again i guess cuz i keep having dreams where im traveling with him.

last nights one was rly cool. we were in a museum after hours and the museum was HUGE cuz it was like every kind of museum like natural history, war history, art and art history, aquarium, etc in just one HUGE museum. like Louvre big but even bigger. we were investigating something or we knew something was wrong (dont remember) but i remember we kept getting lost in the exhibits and hallways and it was very eerie. very little lights were on and the way they shone on or thru the exhibits and corridors made the lighting very creepy but i loved it. we investigated the basement which was even scarier and more labyrinthine and just kept getting deeper and deeper and we kept hearing things coming after us but we never saw anything only their shadows. parts of the basement were also like not finished yet? there was construction so it made navigating much harder. there were dead ends, twisting hallways that just made you go in a circle and come back the way you came and like sometimes there straight up wouldnt be a floor and we'd either have to climb on scaffolding or just jump to the lower level.

an echo of clara was also there and she was either part of the problem or a separate thing to the story. she kept running away from us but i found her bag in one room and looked through it and i found these pieces of paper with drawings that i did. but she couldnt have had them in the first place cuz they were drawings i made in a dream and i started freaking out a bit. she came in the room to get her bag and saw me holding the drawings and i confronted her saying “how the hell did you get these, these aren’t even real, i made them in a dream” and she wouldnt say anything. she just wanted her stuff back and to get away quickly. she did say that she couldnt say anything cuz it would mess with my future. and when i refused to let her go with her stuff she pulled a gun on me. and i said “you can’t do anything to me. if telling me anything will mess with my future then killing me and wiping the rest of my timeline will definitely mess with my future.” i think she just roughed me up then and got her stuff and ran away.

i met with the doctor soon after that and we were in the middle of a huge hallway in the dark sitting cross legged facing each other. one side of the hallway had a big aquarium tank and the low blue light from it was the only light source. the doctor kept trying to talk to me but i kept getting distracted watching the fish. we discussed what we discovered and what we should do. the doctor was exasperated cuz he genuinely had no idea what was going on here and the more we found out the less anything actually came together into something that made sense. i remember i suggested blowing up the museum but the doctor said we couldn’t cuz at this point in time the museum has only been around for 93 years and is supposed to be around for at least 1000. i dont remember if we couldnt find the TARDIS or if it was outside and we were trapped in the museum.

i dont remember how it ended or if it actually had an ending but it was really cool and fun. i love dreams like this where there is sort of an actually story going on and things remain pretty consistent.

[ciggylungz]

Show me yours

Blurb night- 1.8k words

(Request: Maybe more catholic school H but there bestfriend and there both v innocent and its their first time trying _______ (whatever you want) just a thought? (For the possible blurb night.)

 “Did you hear what Lily was saying about Connor?”

y/n looked up when she heard Harry’s voice, the two of them in his room trying to finish their shared art project. They had to do a joint painting of the schools logo for the competition being held to pick a new art piece for the Catholic school. Y/n was currently trying to fix her minor mishap of mixing the purple too dark on the lower corner of the canvas.

“No? what happened?” her attention was divided between the art and Harry’s bite of gossip he was finding the correct verbiage for. “Lily said her and Connor did it!” his tone was slightly lower, whispering the last word so no one would hear a slight blush creeping onto his face. The revelation made the girl snap her head towards her best friend, eye’s widened a bit. The two of them were rather sheltered, they had attended the same private Catholic schools from the time they were in kindergarten up to the present as they were both in their second year of secondary school. The most rebellious thing they’ve ever really done was taking a second sip of the communion wine during mass, so hearing that their classmates may have had sex was very shocking to the pair.

“No way!” the project now took a backseat, y/n now fully invested in the drama Harry was relaying to her. “I swear! She said they did it in the bathroom!” , “Oh my gosh!...did she say anything like detailed?” the girl was just as nosy as her best friend. She wanted every drop of information she could squeeze from him. Harry smiled awkwardly, nervous repeating the words he’d heard from the two teens in question. “Uh…well she said they had s-sex in the bathroom, and Connor said she uh…’went down’ on him at his house..” while y/n knew the basics of sex, she didn’t exactly know much beyond ‘sex is between two married people and makes babies’ , so she questioned his revelation. “what does that mean?” , Harry wasn’t sexually experienced by any means, he was a kiss-less virgin but he would be lying if he said he didn’t know what certain sexual acts involved…he may be a good boy but he’s also a teenage boy with internet access.

His blush grew a few shades darker, opting to clear his throat and make sure the door was closed while he tried to find his voice again. “Uh..well-“ a uncomfortable chuckle escaped him while he tried to choke out the dirty words. “It’s when a girl puts their mouth on a boys private parts…” Y/n gawked at Harry, totally shellshocked at the fact that was a thing! She couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to do that, “Wait what?! Isn’t that dirty? Don’t you pee from there?!” the girl was now standing on her feet her innocent mind trying to comprehend this new information. “Well…yea but I don’t think it’s dirty? If you don’t shower maybe, and the boy doesn’t pee in their mouth…” a nervous hand reached up to scratch the back of Harry’s flushed neck.

“that’s so…weird….h-have you ever done that?” Y/n asked him with a slight bow of her head locking eyes with him, “No! I’ve never done it! I’ve just s-seen it before tha’s all…” the boy shifted uncomfortably, “You’ve seen it? Where?”

“in…porn”

Once again, a comically dramatic gasp ripped through the air from Y/n. she knew of porn, her brother had gotten caught watching it once and that’s the first time she found out people have sex on camera. That was another huge shock to her, yet this one seemed bigger.

“You watch porn?!”

“shush! you’re going to get me in trouble y/n” Harry shot her a glare, yanking her forward to sit on his bed with him, his palm moving to cover her mouth. “Don’t yell that! It’s a secret”  Harry cast a nervous glance towards his shut bedroom door before removing his hand from her face. Y/n giving his chest a nice swat with furrowed brows. “Don’t do that again, jerk” Harry simply rolled his eyes. “Then stop being so loud!”

Y/n pouted slightly, crossing her arms over her chest and huffing. “Or what?” she challenged “Or ill glue your mouth shut.” His fingers moved to flick her forehead, which was a mistake since Y/n then chose to start yelling “MISS AN-“ yet she was silenced by his hand once more. “I’m serious Y/n stop it!”

Y/n suddenly got an idea, decided she’d bargain her way out of this one.

Harry knew that look, his eyes widened realizing she was about to suggest something that he may not want to hear. Y/n was a sweet girl, but she had a bit of a bossy side too.

“If you show me the video, I won’t tell.”

Well, Harry expected something, but definitely not that one. “W-wait what?” he couldn’t believe Y/n had just asked him to show her porn! What was he supposed to say? He knew if he showed her he’d have to take a cold shower, but he didn’t want his mom knowing he watched the videos either. “If you show me the video I won’t tell.” Her statement was very level, the angelic doe eyes coming back to persuade him, and well Harry was a sucker for that look.

__

Soon enough the pair were sat against his headboard, Harry’s laptop open to a private tab with Pornhub opened on it. He chose on of his favorites, a simple pretty tame blowjob video.

“are you sure you want to see it?” his palms were sweating, knees twitching every few minutes trying to control himself and keep his pants from tightening. “Play it, Harry.” Y/n took control, tapping the space bar to start the video.

The logo played before it got to the video, a man sitting on his couch filming his girlfriend kneeling in front of him slowly moving to undress the man in front of her. Y/n watched the screen intently while the woman went to work, tugging the mans cock free and stroking it but Y/n being Y/n the video didn’t suddenly change the atmosphere like it does in a romcom, instead she was full of questions and comments.

“Wow, I didn’t know boys privates looked like that. It looks kind of like a snake.” Harry was happy Y/n wasn’t making the situation too serious, laughing a little breaking the tense atmosphere listening to her talk. He tried to focus his gaze more on the wall in front of him then the porn playing on his computer so he didn’t pop a stiffy in front of her. “Uh…kinda? I guess…” , “Does your penis look like that too?”

Harry choked on air a bit, suppressing a cough. He sweats he can feel himself burning alive from the blush on his face. “I don’t think my penis looks like a snake y/n, no. I think it looks like a penis.” His response got him a ‘hmph’ from his friend which he of course, laughed at. Yet he wasn’t entirely prepared for her next sentence.  

“Show me yours?”

This time Harry’s eyes were the ones wide as saucers, his jaw slightly slack and body gone tense. “What?!” Y/n giggled, finding his reaction a bit silly since they were already watching two people engage in oral, how is this any more shocking? “What? Show me yours” she shrugged slightly, Harry was trying to keep his head from exploding but an idea popped into his brain right before the urge to combust took over.

“I show you mine, you show me yours?”

“Harry I don’t have a penis.” Y/n replied with a ‘duh’ eye roll, causing an annoyed groan to come from her friend. “I am aware of that, smarty pants. I mean…if I show you my penis, you show me your boobs.”

He expected to get a smack or a immediate refusal from her, but surprisingly Y/n nodded, “That’s fair, I’m not putting your penis in my mouth just for the record.” She gave him a pointed look as her hands traveled up to loosen her uniform tie and start fumbling with the buttons of her shirt.

The boy felt frozen in place watching his best friend start to undress in front of him. His teenage boy mind was going crazy, this was the first time he was going to get to see boobs in person, he was a bit scared he might keel over and die from a hormone overdose.

“What are you waiting for? You’re supposed to show me yours. I’m not taking my boobs out if you’re not holding your end of the bargain up ,Harry.” Y/n’s hands stilled, giving him a pointed look that broke his trance quickly fumbling with his pants to shove them off his hips the outline of his plumping cock showing against the white and grey checker print of his boxers.

“Who’s gonna go first?”, his throat felt painfully dry while he talked swallowing hard after he finished. “You duh!” the girl pushed his shoulder lightly and pointed to his crotch waiting for him to reveal himself.

The boy took a deep breath, his hands shaking slightly as he tugged his cock through the flap in the front of his underwear. He grunted quietly, the cold air hitting his swollen tip. For a few moments nothing was said, Y/n quietly observed his organ taking in the details and pondering her thoughts before speaking, “Yours looks better than his, it’s prettier. Still kind of looks like a snake though.”

Harry sighed, he was glad she didn’t make a comment on his size or anything negative but the snake comment wasn’t exactly the erotic language he needed to get himself off, and then he remembered the deal. “Your turn.”

Y/n nodded, giggling a little bit as she unhooked the clasps of her bra and let them slip down her arms. Her breasts finally came into Harry’s view and god his balls were already constricting. He feared he’d really be the guy who cums in 2 seconds just looking at a girl, but this would be the right situation for it. Y/n didn’t have any clue how long boys lasted so if he was to bust then she probably wouldn’t tease him she’d just have more questions.

“God…they’re pretty Y/n.” The girl smiled shaking her chest a little so they bounced in front of his eyes. “Thanks, I grew them myself. I’m a b cup” she was adorable, so blissfully unaware of what she was doing for him. A smile and playful giggles still radiating from her while he was trying to keep himself from passing out.

“Can I touch-“

His request was soon cut off, not by Y/n but by the door swinging open and his shocked mother standing behind it.

[cant-think-of-anything]

Pirate AU (Part Eight)

They stayed at Carstairs’ ship that night. The storm was still raging, a vicious reminder of what they had lost. Eugenia wasn’t close with Cordelia but she could recognize the change in her. Anger seemed to run just under her skin as she paced the length of what served as the living room.

“We must get him back. Immediately.” 

Lucie stood and took her hand gently. She whispered something Eugenia couldn’t hear but some of the tension went out of Cordelia’s shoulders.

“How are we going to find him?” Thomas asked from his corner of the room.

Eugenia saw the shift in Thomas too. He could act quite recklessly when people he cared about were in danger and if the way he looked at Alastair was any indication, he did care quite a lot.

“I’m not sure. They have to be expecting us by now. I’m not sure what they’re going to do with-”

Cordelia’s voice broke off, tears sparkling in her eyes. In the brief silence Eugenia heard a soft thud outside. It could’ve been the storm, but something pushed her to stand. Murmuring that she would be back, Eugenia stepped into the rain, ducking under into the passageway. 

“Kamala,” She muttered.

And indeed their enemy ships navigator stood before her, looking at her uncertainty. 

“We’re doing this once more?” Eugenia asked, waving her hand to gesture to their situation. “Shouldn’t you be with the friend of mine you took?

“I told you that I would only spare you,” Kamala whispered, and Eugenia’s heart took a traitorous lurch. There was a long pause before she added; “Your friend is on the last floor of the ship. But Tatiana doesn’t plan to keep him there. Do not try to come and rescue him.”

“Where is she taking him? Why shouldn’t we go?”

Kamala shook her head making a frustrated sound. “I am sorry. I don’t know what she’s planning beyond that but if you go she will kill you. I…”

She stopped again, taking a shaky breath before continuing. “I will try to help you as much as I can but not if you plan something that ends in your harm.”

Eugenia took a hesitant step closer. “Why are you helping us?”

“I’m helping you.”

Their faces were closer now and Eugenia could feel the small amount of warmth coming off of her in the rainy winds. Kamala slowly brought her hand up to Eugenia’s hair, pushing a stray curl away. She didn’t take her hand away. 

“Why do you want to help me then?” Eugenia breathed, afraid that if she spoke too loud Kamala would pull away. 

Kamala smiled a little then, her lovely dark eyes shimmering with something Eugenia couldn’t place. Then she moved closer still. “Eugenia may I-” 

Eugenia answered the question before she finished, pressing her lips gently against Kamala’s. She was fairly certain her brain melted, warm sparks lighting up her cold rain soaked skin. They broke apart and Kamala’s perfect lips twisted into a smile. 

“I certainly have my reasons for helping.” She said softly. 

She turned to the ladder and stopped again. Reaching into her coat she pulled out Eugenia’s longsword. Eugenia let out a soft noise of disbelief, trying to calm her heart.

“Be safe for me Eugenia.”

~~~

All Alastair could feel was panic. It seemed like the only thing that his mind could process. He was sitting in one of the cramped cells stacked near the wall as if there was any way he’d be able to escape even outside the cell. Mercifully they’d left his jacket on, the dreary weather cut through the wood as if it wasn't there. But he couldn’t focus on that. The room was dark and his hands were bound, if he closed his eyes his mind would take him to a different ship.

The Carstairs ship never housed traditional pirate swords and there was a reason for it. His father left a world of problems for him before his death, one of them being money. Alastair had to pay that price, he refused to let his mother or sister do it, and pirates had no legal or moral constraints when it came to revenge. If you couldn’t pay in money you’d pay in blood.

Memories rushed up before he could stop them, the deep cuts on his back and chest that he couldn’t feel because his body tried to protect him, the burn of the ropes binding him across his wrists, the dank smell of the prison he was held in. He remembered the way he had escaped that ship too. He’d lied to Cordelia, saying they were docked at a small village because of a job when in reality he was suffering for the actions of his father. So he snuck back into their own ship at night when she was asleep.

The next morning he faked sick, twisting in agony as the pain of his cuts finally sank in with nothing to block the unbearable burn. Cordelia still didn’t know the full extent, but Alastair knew she had her suspicions. It had happened a few years ago, a crew whose name Alastair’s mind had blocked out but he remembered their faces. 

He forced his eyes open with a shudder, there was a slashed piece of fabric on the floor, a piece of a dress. His brain anchored to it, reminding him of where he was. There was a sudden groan of wood, and when Alastair looked up he saw the hole in the ceiling again, watched in faint interest a rope dropped down. 

It was the silver haired girl. Grace Blackthorn.

He pushed himself up onto his feet, if he died so be it but he’d be damned if he died on the floor like a coward. She approached his cage and regarded him, a closed-off expression that he recognized. It was the same one he wore on his own face so often. 

“My mother isn’t going to keep you. She wishes to put you at the mercy of the London government instead.”

Alastair arched an eyebrow. “Why? She wanted leverage, she has me now. Did she not want us dead?”

“She wants the Herondales dead. You interfered but she thinks killing you will cause a bigger outrage.”

In some ways it was smart. If Tatiana had killed him, Cordelia would have moved mountains to make sure her throat was slit. Leaving him to be imprisoned… it created a distraction and a shift in blame. 

He said none of this. Instead he gestured to the locked bars. “Are you going to let me out then?” 

Grace shook her head. “Not yet.” She handed him a glass of water.

Reaching out warily he took it, smelled the faint aroma of cinnamon. “This is drugged.”

A scowl. “Drink it. Either that or rot here while your sister tries to rescue you and gets killed while doing it.” 

Alastair fought the urge to flinch and downed the cup.

~~~

Lucie gently stroked through Cordelia’s dark red hair, the taller girl had her head in her hands, rocking with her eyes closed.

Eugenia and Thomas were in the room, sitting near the fire as they talked. Lucie wondered about the slightly dazed expression on Eugenia’s face before her mind was snapped back to Cordelia. 

“Lucie,” She whispered. Lucie looked at her dark eyes, smoky quartz surrounding the color of the night. If she wasn't rubbish at poetry she would've written for ages about that color. She already had inserted quite a few lines about it into one of her novels.

“Yes?” Lucie managed to respond.

“Thank you for staying. You didn’t-” 

“I did. Do not thank me. Whoever hurts you Cordelia, I will hurt them back.”

Cordelia looked surprised by the outburst of violence, Lucie felt rather startled herself. Cordelia opened her mouth to say something but she was cut off by Eugenia hurrying towards them, a worried look on her face.

“What’s wrong?” Lucie said, quickly standing up. 

“Alastair…” Eugenia started, glancing down at a letter in her hands and back up at them. “He’s in jail.” 

“He’s where?” Cordelia asked her face furrowed in confusion.

“Jail. Like prison.”

“How did you know?”

Eugenia flushed though it could have been from the warmth of the room. “A letter. Probably from the Fairchilds. What do we do?”

“Cordelia,” Lucie said softly, tugging on her sleeve. “I know you want to save Alastair, we all do, but it will be better if one of us goes. The Fairchilds know us and we have a better excuse for being caught there.”

Cordelia’s expression shuttered a bit but she nodded, recovering quickly. “We can’t break him out now. If we do we risk making our entire family a target and if they start digging deeper into our history the fake identities will fall apart.” As if she was talking to only herself she added “He wouldn’t want me to put our mother in danger.”

Lucie felt distance surprise, she rarely heard about the elder Ms. Carstairs. From what she gathered, she was away, sick or something of that sort. 

Cordelia gestured to Thomas, who had looked tense as a bowstring ever since Alastair’s abduction. 

“You’re friends with Mr. Fairchild aren’t you?”

Thomas looked a bit startled. “Yes?”

“Could you go? Talk to Alastair and make sure he's okay?”

He nodded slowly and approached the girls. “Do you want me to tell him anything else?” His voice was low, meant for Cordelia’s ears only. Lucie tried to focus on the rain pounding outside or the crackling fire but she still heard when Cordelia responded “Just tell him I love him.” 

~~~

Thomas didn’t know what he was doing. It felt strange, sneaking around the place that Matthew’s parents worked as if he was a criminal. He supposed he was given recent events. In complete honesty he felt relieved. He wanted so badly to help Alastair, even before he’d been taken. But the possibility of him dying was unbearable. Logically Thomas knew that he didn’t know much about Alastair, but he wanted to. 

The room was dark, everyone but the prisoners were gone. Thomas managed to find his way into the cell room. It was nearly empty, there were only three cells and they served as a temporary housing. He approached the only one that was inhabited, pulling the keys from a hook near the door. 

“Alastair,” Thomas hissed, barely able to see the smaller man.

The figure shifted and rose, making Thomas belatedly realize that he had been asleep. 

“Thomas?” Alastair muttered, his face finally coming into the moonlight

He felt a knot of tension release when he saw that Alastair was mostly unharmed. Sliding the key into the lock he started to pull the door open but Alastair stopped him.

“You cannot.”

“I know,” He responded, still swinging the door open. Alastair regarded him with surprised eyes as he stepped into the cell propping the door open with one foot. Thomas’s gaze fell on Alastair’s arm. 

“You’re bleeding,” he whispered, wrapping a hand around the other boy’s slim forearm, pulling him a little closer.

“It’ll be fine. It’ll scar over.” Alastair’s voice hitched on the word “scar”. When Thomas looked up he could see that his black pupils were dilated in the light of the moon. “You should leave before you get caught.”

Thomas nodded faintly before stepping back, his hands still tingling from where their skin made contact. He winced slightly as the door fell back into place and locked. 

“We won’t leave you, Alastair.” He managed before turning back to leave the way he came in. And if Alastair whispered a response long after he left, Thomas wouldn’t know. 

~~~

Tagging: @adoravel-fenomeno and @barbra-lightwood (lmk if you want to be added)

[bluerosesburnblue]

I hope you don't mind this ask, but... Any theories / speculations about the most recent story update for KHUX?

Oh, I don’t mind at all! I’m glad you asked, actually, because I’ve had some thoughts, though not many new theories of my own, unfortunately. That being said, I can definitely go over how some of my old theories and some of the fandom’s hold up and my thoughts on a few of the new theories I’ve seen floating around

One thing that I’m consistently proud of is how my old guesses about Darkness’s true nature just keep ending up almost right barring some slight details. I made the claim back when Re:Mind first came out that Darkness could be a hive mind of entities that plant bits of themselves in others, and then refined that back in July of 2020 by likening it to a parasite that worms its way into people’s hearts and incorporates itself into them to control them. This past update confirmed that the Darkness we’re fighting is one part of the hive mind that wormed its way into Ven to force him to act out, and that by doing so it detached itself from that hive mind and became incorporated into Ven’s being (which Ven can then shape). So I gotta say I’m pretty pleased about that part

All that’s left to be seen from the July post is if Darkness has a connection to Verum Rex/Quadratum, but I doubt that that will be touched on by the KHUx finale. Though I will say that it’s pretty interesting that the Master of Masters tells Darkness about “a world [he] can’t even conceive,” which seems like it could easily be referring to Quadratum, which also means that Darkness knows about it

That’s pretty much all I have to say on the Ventus/Darkness/Vanitas connection, but there’s still more to cover in this update

One thing that I’ve been trying to figure out is who the cloaked figure right at the start of the update is, Luxu or the MoM. Measuring the sizes and my old guess based on the KH3 Secret Reports both say Luxu, but this brings into question “when,” exactly, the True Dandelion scene takes place as it doesn’t have the dark haze around the edges that they give flashbacks, but is clearly the real-world set of pods as they’re not destroyed AND it’s missing the pod that Maleficent already used. The True Dandelion scene has a lot to unpack, but this scene at the start does make me wonder if Luxu and/or the Master have a way in and out of the datascape that doesn’t involve the pods, otherwise the numbers don’t add up

Also related to the post of mine I just linked is the idea that the Black Box is the datascape. I believe that this might still hold true. It’s interesting to note that they show the scene from Back Cover where Luxu is given the box in the first place just prior to the reveal that using the lifeboats to escape starts the process to seal it off and have the real Daybreak Town fall to darkness, and the Master’s “hint” to Luxu involves this very process. Why would Luxu be forbidden to open the box? Quite possibly because it contains the infected datascape meant to seal off the vast majority of the Darkness hive mind. And several Dandelions. It is both the “hope” mentioned in KH3 through those Dandelions, as well as a trap to keep Darkness out of being able to interfere for quite a long time

Now, the questions that I’m sure are on everyone’s minds are “who is the True Dandelion,” and “who are the ones who use the lifeboats?” Let’s start with the True Dandelion, as there’s far less moving pieces involved in that one

I won’t take credit for coming up with any of these options, I’m just going to discuss the logistics of them. So the candidates for the True Dandelion in, what is in my opinion, the least likely option to the most likely option, are:

Kairi: I’ve seen this one floating around and... honestly don’t believe it at all due to the sheer amount of logical contortions that you have to do to make it work. To wit:

Where the hell would she even come from if it was Kairi? As can be clearly seen with Ven, is stated to be true with Subject X, and is implied to be true of Lauriam/Elrena, those who travel to the future using the pods will regenerate their bodies at the age they were when they used the pods. Which would make Kairi at the oldest a four-year-old. Four years prior to KHUx was when Brain was told that he was a Union Leader. So she either would have been just born immediately prior to the war and was just... stolen or something? And we never saw? Or just after the war, where she would probably have to be the child of a Dandelion that got teen pregnant because they’re supposed to be both kids and the only survivors? Or Luxu and Ava’s kid somehow? Like, what? The timeline is just insane with that

If she was born before the war... you would assume that the True Dandelion would be, you know, a Dandelion. Which would mean that Ava handed a Keyblade to and recruited a literal toddler. This would also retcon Aqua being the one to accidentally pass the ability to wield a Keyblade down to Kairi and I refuse to make theories predicated on “the author will retcon this.” You just open up a huge can of worms doing that

The body wrapped in white looked a hell of a lot bigger than a four-year-old to me

I am sick to death of “this character was secretly from the Age of Fairytales~” being employed by the narrative. It’s happened at least three times already (four if you count Luxu). Enough already

Ventus: Ven has some hints, though some notable contradictions to it being him

On the one had, the sheet that the True Dandelion is wrapped in is extremely similar to the one that Xehanort wrapped him in when planning to leave him on Destiny Islands in BBS and there’s a possibility that Xehanort may have found him in that very sheet if he regenerated wearing it

On the other hand: Ventus might not have even been a Dandelion in the first place (he definitely wasn’t a Union Leader, but I don’t know if it was ever said whether he was selected as a regular Dandelion or not), and there’s the timing of the scene that I mentioned above. It’s definitely after Maleficent used her lifeboat but before anyone else used theirs (when you would expect Ven to remain with his friends) and, since the scene doesn’t have the flashback effect, it’s implied to be happening concurrently with everything else, so Ven should still be fighting Darkness in the datascape while it’s happening and eliminating him from being this particular person

Strelitzia: Oh, boy, have we got some nice old hints to Strelitzia, but still a few logical contortions, just like Ven

The white sheet is coming back up again. Namely, the fact that we still have an unexplained scene where Strelitzia appears to Lauriam in a dream wrapped in a white cloak, though it’s of a different style than the one that the True Dandelion is in. That scene also featured flower petals being blown into the wind, much like a dandelion seed (though, notably, the petals that are blown aren’t Dandelion seeds)

The question is, yet again, one of timing. How would Luxu get her body? While she was only introduced in KHUx, her scenes are all flashbacks to before the war, so we know that she was struck down in the real world, not the datascape. We see her body dissolve into light and her heart be released. Now, technically you only need a heart to time travel (actually, a heart is the only thing that can time travel), but Luxu is clearly seen putting a body into the machine. A machine that only allows for time travel because it destroys the body. If he had her heart, he wouldn’t need to use the lifeboat because she’s already in a state to time-travel on her own and this eliminates the possibility of him putting her Nobody into the machine, because without a heart it would just evaporate her body leaving... absolutely no heart to go to the future with

Now, Luxu theoretically could have grabbed her heart. We know that he was hanging around Daybreak Town at the time while observing thanks to his fight with Ava, but Strelitzia is struck down just after the fight with Ava starts so it’s very likely that Luxu was too preoccupied to retrieve her heart before it was gone. Speaking of Luxu’s fight with Ava...

Ava is my current top pick for the True Dandelion candidate due to the sheer number of questions it answers and how few it raises

Ever since KH3 came out, the question of “where the heck is Ava?” has been buzzing around as a major mystery. Her last chronological point of appearance is the same as the other Foretellers: the Keyblade War itself, where she’s shown leading her Union to battle. Notably, she seems resigned to her part in this, and this is the first and only time we see her after her battle with Luxu where he reveals to her the Master’s true plans. Melody of Memory seems to imply that the other Foretellers managed to skip to the future by going to another world, Quadratum (or at least this is the most likely explanation as there’s not enough pods to send all four of the other Foretellers AND the characters that we know end up in the future to their destination). However, Ava isn’t with them and Luxu knows what happened to her

It would be easy to write this off as them trying to drop Ava from the narrative or her not being important, but her chess piece is included in the “Eraqus and Xehanort foreshadow the next saga” chess game on the far right of the board and Nomura confirms that they represent the Master’s six apprentices, i.e. the five Foretellers + Luxu. So, Ava is necessary in the upcoming saga and yet, she didn’t get to the future the same way as any of the Master’s other apprentices leaving her open to get there via a lifeboat

Ava is the very founder of the Dandelions, who all of the others look up to and defer to and was spoken of heavily in the scene just prior to the True Dandelion reveal. That’s grounds for being called the True Dandelion if I’ve ever seen one

Luxu would very easily be able to ensure that Ava would be able to make it to the future. Just like with the Master of Masters, he already has the memories necessary for her to use to regenerate a body, and either her Keyblade or her mask would make for effective mediums that wouldn’t be too difficult for Luxu to take. If he put her in the white cloth, he probably took her mask off already

Ava hasn’t been around for the events of KHUx, so there’s no timeline discrepancies if it’s her

So, now that we have an idea of who the True Dandelion could be, let’s talk about the rest of the lifeboats and how they might fit together. For the purposes of this discussion, let’s assume that the True Dandelion can’t be one of the Union Leaders and that their battle with Darkness is taking place at the same time as Luxu is sending off the True Dandelion. I’ll be referencing an old theory of mine, while making additions now that it’s clear that there’s two sets of lifeboats: the Data Set and the Real Set

Right now, there’s an equal number of Real Pods and Data Pods: 5 each. For the Data Pods, of the seven that we started with, one was used by Maleficent and one was damaged in the battle between Maleficent and Lauriam. As for the Real Pods, one has been used by Maleficent, and one has been used by the True Dandelion. This leaves us with five each.

We can narrow this down further by eliminating people that we know end up in the future. These are:

Ventus

Subject X, who is most likely Skuld based on her description

Lauriam

Elrena* (of note with Elrena is that we actually have no idea where the hell she is at the moment or how she’s going to get into the pods. Furthermore, while every other lifeboat user sans Maleficent has been shown to have amnesia upon waking and Lauriam/Marluxia directly indicates as such applies to him, too, in KH3, Elrena/Larxene’s KH3 scene and character file short story both indicate that she recalls Lauriam and possibly Strelitzia, though she also seems surprised at the idea that she’s part of an ancient Keyblade legacy. I won’t deny that there’s a possibility that she doesn’t use a lifeboat and ends up in the future by other means based on the discrepancies)

So with three confirmed cases, we’re left with one ambiguous case in Elrena and three more possible candidates: Ephemer, Brain, and Player. Four people, and two pods

I want to make it clear that despite what I brought up against Elrena, I do think that she’ll be using one of the lifeboats if only so that KHUx has narrative consistency. They introduced Elrena, they made her part of the investigation on Strelitzia’s whereabouts, so it only makes sense that they need to show us where she ended up for a satisfying conclusion. So let’s slot Elrena in for one of the lifeboats. That leaves one between Player, Ephemer, and Brain

My best guess is that Player won’t be using a lifeboat at all. Not only are they a create-a-character that would be a HUGE pain to try and incorporate into future entries in the series without making a “canon” version and thus ruining their appeal as an avatar, but we haven’t seen or heard mention of them at all in the games set in the present-day. There’s zero indication that they made it, which makes them the most easily eliminated as a lifeboat user

That leaves Ephemer and Brain, and I still believe that Ephemer will be the final lifeboat user, and for the same reasons as stated in the theory I linked at the start of this section. Not only does Brain have the same facial sprite as Eraqus, but he wields the Master’s Defender which will be later passed down to Eraqus and I believe that this eliminates him as a time traveler, despite the fandom’s popular opinion that it confirms it

Because I don’t believe that Brain is Eraqus’s grandfather, but rather his distant ancestor who inherited the No Name and passed down both Keyblades through the ages

So let’s resolve some plot threads taking everything I’ve stated and linked to above into account

My Big Guess for the KHUx Finale

Ventus will use the fact that Darkness is tied to his heart now to give it a physical, but still mostly amorphous form that he, the Union Leaders, and Player can finally take down. Darkness will be sealed inside Ven’s heart, where it will lie dormant until he reaches the future. Eventually, Xehanort will extract it in the form of Vanitas and it will follow Vanitas’s life cycle, ending in him being reabsorbed into Ven at the end of BBS. Darkness, now back in Ven’s heart, will make brief contact with Sora during the events of Re:Mind

Lauriam, upon learning that the world will be sealed with the use of the lifeboats, will attempt to rescue his partner, Elrena. Both will take lifeboats out of the datascape and into the future, whereupon they will be recruited into Organization XIII by Luxu’s current incarnation, Xigbar, likely to keep an eye on them. I believe there might be a squabble among Ephemer, Skuld, Brain, and Player among who will use the final lifeboats (each person nominating others besides themselves), but ultimately they will settle on Ephemer and Skuld

Skuld will wind up amnesiac in the future Radiant Garden and is discovered by Ansem the Wise and his apprentices and dubbed Subject X. She becomes Xehanort’s favorite test subject due to the similarities in their amnesia and possibly some lingering memories that he has that don’t quite belong to him (KHDR Xehanort certainly seems to want to meet his “old friends” very badly)

Ephemer’s heart will wind up in the Keyblade Graveyard as I mentioned in an old theory, unable to manifest a body due to the lack of a medium present. Through this state of being just a heart (and possibly related to those old talks about him being “unchained”), he will be able to enact the Light of the Past moment from KH3, and may very well be revived for future events in the series

This leaves Brain and Player behind in the datascape. However, you may remember one detail that I brought up, but neglected to fully expand on until now. There is a difference between the Data Pods and the Real Pods. While all of the Real Pods have been used up at the time of my proposed sequence of events, the Data Pods have not been. One was never used, only damaged. This leaves open the possibility that it can also be repaired (Also, I’m just gonna say it. Player’s met someone recently who has a magic hammer that can repair anything... might not come back but also totally could). Brain and Player could then repair the final pod and, in a callback to when Player was sent to Game Central Station, have them both agree once again that Player is the more expendable person in the scenario. Brain will take the repaired pod, leaving no way out of the datascape for anyone else, while Player stays behind to be sealed away for the time being (this could also be a callback to the original KHx, where Player also stayed behind to take part in the war instead of fleeing with the Dandelions, as they refused to leave their party behind)

When Brain escapes, however, he will be met with a Daybreak Town with no Real Pods left, as Luxu used one on the True Dandelion. Now that the seven pods have all been used up and the real Daybreak Town is falling to darkness, Luxu will take a corridor out as the Master instructed, but bring the newly appeared Brain along with him (either that or Brain emerges after Daybreak Town falls, either is possible) and bequeaths the No Name onto him. Brain, stranded in the past while all of his friends have been sent to the future, will be Luxu’s new apprentice and rebuild the fallen Daybreak Town as Scala ad Caelum, then pass down both of his Keyblades: Master’s Defender to his biological descendants, and No Name to his apprentices

As for the Master of Masters? I think he’s already taken an eighth lifeboat (you’ll note that there’s space right in the center of the cluster where one more could theoretically fit) and had done so before the start of the original KHx. He’ll be revived at some point in Xehanort’s young adult life to goad him into his insane plans as seen in Re:Mind, then duck into Quadratum to hang out until the next arc in the franchise, as hinted at with his appearance in the KH3 Secret Movie

(He is most definitely not Sora. He’s clearly bound to the same rules of time travel as everyone else which means that Sora couldn’t go back in time to become him as that would be long before the point in time where Sora was born and that breaks KH time travel rules. Not to mention that the Master talks about Quadratum in this update like he’s never seen it before until it came up in the No Name’s range of vision. Sora is literally in Quadratum right now, he’d definitely know what it was already if he was the Master)

And I do believe that should cover everyone’s whereabouts by the end of the game and into the next arc of Kingdom Hearts with minimal plot holes

This is just my best guess, putting together details that I’ve been accumulating for the past year and a half or so into what sounds like a coherent sequence of events that bridge the gap between KHUx and KH3 and beyond. There may be some details I get wrong, obviously. Nomura has been known to be... unpredictable. But I think, based on the evidence we have at hand, that this is the most logical series of events to end the game on and I’m really interested to see how close this gets to the actual finale we see

[blossom-hwa]

Danger: Ruby - JUYEON

Only one part in this chapter!

Pairing: Juyeon x gender neutral!reader

Genre: fluff, angst, fantasy, royalty!au

Triggers: death, semi-graphic depictions of blood

Word Count: 5.9k

Lesson 5: dreams can find their way into reality. And often, when they do, they mean something.

Previous: Obsidian >> Ruby >> Next: Onyx

TBZ Masterlist | Danger | Kingdom

[ Taglist will be in a reblog! Send a dm or an ask to be added! ]

Juyeon isn’t stupid. He knows there’ll be ivory soldiers patrolling the shrine when he gets there. Somin may be murderous, but she has a brain – a very big one at that – and thus knows how to be cautious. Of course she’d have people stationed to protect one of the most important pieces of her vicious plan.

But he didn’t expect this.

He ducks down with a curse. Kevin and Jacob follow suit. “Why are there so many?”

Neither Kevin nor Jacob replies, but the grim looks on their faces tell him they know the answer. Juyeon knows it, too. More soldiers here means either Somin’s been growing her army, or things are going better than expected at the front of the war so she has reserves to send back here.

Neither option bodes well for him.

“How are we supposed to get in?” Kevin mutters, peering around the hill at white pinpricks of guards on the otherwise green landscape. The scene reminds Juyeon of fluffy sheep on a pasture, just a lot more dangerous.

“I’ve been here once to see Changmin.” Jacob sits down. “If there’s a gap in the guards, I can create a door and shift us in.” A grimace slides across his face. “Kevin, you can’t come. Only royalty and those of magic blood can enter the shrine. Honestly, I’m already stretching it, since my magic rank is barely high enough to justify a visit.”

Kevin doesn’t look happy at all with that, but he nods. “I’ll stay as close as I can, then, in case anything goes wrong.”

“Right.” Jacob looks back at Juyeon. “I can’t perform magic inside this shrine. I’d have to create the door so that we shift right to the edge of the grounds, as close as I can get. If guards are around…”

“Well, they can’t follow us in.” Juyeon grimaces. “As long as they still respect the laws of the Board.”

Judging by the looks on his two friends’ faces, they have about as much hope for that as Juyeon does. The guards themselves might be good people, but soldiers are loyal to their kingdom, not necessarily to the Board’s balance (though usually, those two go hand in hand). If the queen gave them different orders, Juyeon and Jacob are screwed.

“Go at night,” Kevin decides. “It’ll be harder to see you then.”

Juyeon nods, looking up at the sky. It’s mid-afternoon, judging by the sun, which means they have a few hours before it’ll be safe enough to have a go. “We only have one shot,” he murmurs, eyes narrowing. “If one of us gets caught, even as we escape, they’ll just call reinforcements. And if there’s a mage, we’re in even bigger trouble.”

There shouldn’t be a mage. This shrine is traditionally the gray mage’s domain, and with Changmin dead without a designated successor, no one can take his place. Still, Juyeon wouldn’t put it past Somin to have put someone there anyway. After all, she killed him and a royal on the same soil. What’s a little more desecration of blessed land?

Jacob shakes his head. “I don’t sense any traces,” he says. “Granted, we’re a bit far away, but if there was a really powerful mage, I would’ve felt something, at least. There could still be one, but it isn’t likely they’d be a high mage or anything.”

“Why does Somin have some regard for certain rules but not others?” Kevin shakes his head. “She’ll kill people on the grounds, but she won’t send a mage to protect the place?”

Juyeon’s fists close around clumps of grass. He really doesn’t need to think about that now.

A snarl flashes across Jacob’s face before he frowns. “I don’t know. Anyway, our bigger problem is getting out. If we manage to get through the door and close it before anyone else can enter, they could ambush us when we try to leave.”

“So you need a diversion.” Kevin leans backward on his hands, staring at the sky. “What’s big enough to draw a chunk of guards away long enough for you to search the shrine?”

“If I knock out a few guards, do you think you have enough strength to pull them away?” Juyeon tries to joke.

Kevin gives him a look that’s enough to wither a tree.

“Understood, you definitely have the strength to do it. My deepest apologies.” Juyeon smirks, nudging Kevin with his shoulder. A grudging smile spreads across his friend’s face, but it quickly disappears, replaced with a thoughtful look.

“Hey, Jacob?”

The mage looks up. “Hm?”

“Is it considered desecration of the Board if I set fire to the grounds outside of the shrine?”

. . . . .

The plan is almost as bad as Sunwoo literally ripping the sapphire necklace off of Somin’s neck, but Kevin refuses to see it that way. In his words, “if Sunwoo could create a diversion by burning his hand, I can do it by burning some grass.”

Juyeon tries to remind him that Sunwoo didn’t actually burn his hand, whereas Kevin will actually be burning a hill. Kevin just waves him off. “Do you have any better ideas?”

Sadly, he doesn’t. Which is why he and Jacob are dressed in black and heading towards the shrine under the cover of night while Kevin brandishes a lighter somewhere far in the background. Hopefully far enough to not burn the shrine down.

Juyeon tries to console himself with the fact that Kevin knows more about fire than he does. He’s the one who makes their campfires and cooks if they have the means. He sometimes worked in the kitchens back home and handled the oven fires. He should know how to control flames. More or less.

(Juyeon isn’t very consoled.)

No Ivory heads turn as Juyeon steps quietly over the grass to one of the many trees surrounding the shrine and begins to hoist himself into the branches. After helping Jacob up, there’s nothing more either of them can do but wait for the signal.

Which is just the shouts of guards when they notice a hopefully large conflagration on a nearby hill.

It comes faster than Juyeon thought it would. The first yell is faint, but they slowly grow louder as more soldiers take note of the fire that even he can see in the hilltops. With bated breath, he waits as several ivory-clad guards peel off to investigate.

Jacob hisses softly. “Let’s go.”

It takes long, far too long in Juyeon’s mind, to jump down the tree and wait for Jacob to carve a door into the air. Heart beating wildly, he shifts from one foot to the other as the wooden slab finally shimmers into existence.

It looks familiar. Very familiar. Juyeon frowns, stepping through the door, then almost trips when it hits him.

“Juyeon?” Jacob raises an eyebrow. “Something wrong?”

Breath shaky, Juyeon turns around to look at the back of the door. Pure white, a contrast to the dull brown wood of the front, wreathed in greenery.

Queens.

“This –” he swallows – “this is the same door I went through in my dream.”

“… Seriously?”

Juyeon nods. “Yeah.”

Jacob purses his lips, looking like he wants to ask more, but then he shakes his head. “Get over this fence. We need to hurry before Kevin’s fire dies.”

Risking a glance over his neck, Juyeon sees that the flames have gotten smaller since he last checked. One lighter can only do so much, even on green grass. Swearing, he hauls himself up the fence.

“Hey!”

Jacob curses for the first time in Juyeon’s life. It almost shocks him more than the soldier’s shout, but Jacob doesn’t give him time to process it before he hisses for Juyeon to hurry up and get inside. The bars dig into his hands but Juyeon finally flips himself over the top, landing on the shrine grounds with a thump. Jacob follows, albeit more gracefully.

“Pawns and kings,” Juyeon swears, getting up. One look over his shoulder through the slats of the fence tells him several Ivory soldiers are approaching. “Know any hiding places?”

“Follow me,” Jacob says before darting between two trees. They duck behind a few bushes, black clothes camouflaging them in the dark, waiting for the sounds of pursuers.

Nothing comes. The soldiers must be abiding by the laws, then.

Not that it matters. They just need to pick the right moment for an ambush, and when he and Jacob try to leave, they’ll be pinned.

Juyeon sighs. The things he’ll doing do for a stupid little red jewel. Like use a door from a dream to enter the shrine where one of his best friends was murdered in cold blood with his love.

Bile rises in Juyeon’s throat. He closes his eyes, breathes in, breathes out. The bile subsides.

Get in, find the jewel, get out. Juyeon breathes again, eyes still squeezed shut. He’s already done the first thing. Now he needs to find a ruby. The faster he finds it, the faster he can leave this place.

When he opens his eyes, Jacob is staring at him in concern. “Juyeon?”

“I’m fine,” Juyeon says, feeling not fine at all. “Any ideas where to look?”

Jacob looks unconvinced, but he stands anyway. “We need to pray first.”

“Pray?”

“Yes.” Jacob nods. “This is the most venerated shrine of the Board. You can’t just visit here and not pay your respects, especially as a royal of the Onyx Kingdom, not to mention its next king.”

For some reason, the thought of praying at the shrine that was supposed to be Changmin’s home, the same shrine where he was murdered with the former Ivory queen, makes Juyeon’s insides want to curdle.

It doesn’t make sense. He’s survived attacks by several mages, fought his way through multiple seemingly-impossible situations, watched one of his friends die and slit the throat of the man who killed him. Praying at a shrine is definitely not the hardest thing he’s done over the past few months.

Not physically, at least.

So he stands. Nods. His legs follow Jacob through the dark, weaving around bushes and trees and flowers that dot the shrine grounds until they reach the building of gray marble that gleams in the moonlight.

Jacob pushes through the door and walks inside. The stone slab stays open, waiting for Juyeon to take the next step.

He doesn’t. Instead, Juyeon’s feet glue themselves to the ground. Changmin’s insignia rests against his chest, stone cold and heavy as a lead weight.

For several moments, Juyeon stares into the dark depths of the shrine, the shadows of unlit torches just visible on the walls. Jacob’s silhouette shows too as he stops, realizing Juyeon isn’t right behind him. He turns back. “Juyeon?”

Juyeon shudders. The sound of his name echoes loudly, too loudly, unnaturally loudly between the marble walls. Vibrations race up his spine and more than ever, he wants to run. Just turn around and run.

But he can’t. As much as his brain screams for him to sprint away, away from this shrine and its cloud of death, he forces himself to breathe, just breathe.

You are fine. You will be fine. Find the jewel and leave.

You will be fine.

He steps into the shrine.

. . . . .

Juyeon almost wishes Jacob had left the shrine in darkness. Sure, the endless expanse of shadow was unnerving, but with the torches now flickering strange shadows across the gray floor, the urge to run is even greater than before.

But he forces himself to walk to the altar covered in dusty gray silk, to kneel on the cold marble floor. His hands fold mechanically in his lap as he bows his head in reverence. He closes his eyes.

Then he opens them again. What does he even pray for? His mind is such a mess, he knows there are so many things going wrong that he should pray to fix, but for some reason he can’t even fixate on a single one.

Next to him, Jacob’s eyes are already shut. His relaxed posture speaks of peace and calm, not the rigid fear and terror Juyeon feels just being in the same place where one of his best friends died.

Changmin was murdered here, murdered by an Ivory mage who decided her loyalty to the then-princess was more important than the higher orders. She was helped by a cowardly mage – maybe that isn’t fair, considering the queen was and still is holding his daughters over his head, but Juyeon doesn’t care right now – a high mage, a powerful mage who bound the former queen in promise with the gray mage and then didn’t hesitate to sever the physical ties of that promise by killing one half of the bond.

Anger boils in Juyeon’s stomach, and he latches onto it. Better anger than fear, anyway. At least anger brings warmth, fire, while fear only makes Juyeon feel colder than the stone floor.

One hand rises from his lap, clutches the gold king and queen resting against his chest. Why is this shrine so holy? Why is it so venerated that no one can practice magic here? What’s the point of that, when its last protector was murdered because of the stupid rule? Magic isn’t the only way to kill a person –Juyeon would know, considering he’s slit a throat before – and if Changmin had been able to use his magic, he might’ve fought off the two mages, might’ve resisted the magic-binding chains Bom forced onto his arms, might’ve survived. 

A tiny, choked sound rips from Juyeon’s throat. He glances at Jacob to see if the mage noticed, but his eyes are still shut in reverent calm, still the essence of serene tranquility.

Watching Jacob, watching the mage lower his head in quiet prayer, drains the fight out of Juyeon. He slumps over, face now in his hands, as he tries to stop the tears beginning to well at the corners of his eyes. The insignia bounces against his chest, slightly warmer from the heat of his fingers, but still too cold to feel comforting.

Changmin. Juyeon’s hands slide down his face, come to his lap and clench into fists as he fights to breathe. Changmin, I wish you were here.

Then it isn’t just Changmin. It’s Kevin, it’s Sunwoo, it’s his sister and mother and father whom he wishes were here. He wants Changmin’s doe eyes and Kevin’s boxy smile, Sunwoo’s sarcasm and his sister’s warmth. He wants his mother’s lips pressing gently to the top of his head as she whispers goodnight to her sweet prince, wants his father’s hands holding his shoulders proudly as he reiterates once more how proud he is of his son.

He wants it. He wants it so badly it hurts –

“Juyeon?”

Queens.

There’s no point in trying to wipe his tears when Jacob’s already seen him crying, but Juyeon tries anyway. “I’m fine,” he says, even though the voice crack gives everything away. “I’m –”

But Jacob isn’t listening, is unfolding from his perfect posture to drag Juyeon over into a hug. For a moment, he stiffens, but then he sinks into Jacob’s warm arms that can’t quite make up for the warmth of all those people he wishes were with him too, but they’re a decent substitute, nonetheless.

Jacob doesn’t ask, doesn’t say anything as Juyeon silently cries into his shoulder. Juyeon thinks the mage probably knows what he’s feeling, if the few tears dripping onto his own clothes are anything to go by. For several minutes, they just stay there, pressed against each other in front of the altar.

“Sorry,” Juyeon sniffles when he finally feels stable enough to pull away. “I’m – I should’ve been praying, but –”

“I understand.” Jacob smiles, though sadly. “It’s hard, isn’t it? Knowing this was where… where he was killed?”

Juyeon doesn’t need to ask which “he” Jacob is talking about. Instead, he just nods. “I just – I don’t know what to pray about, there are so many things but I can’t think of even one because I just feel so – I want to pray for Changmin and Sunwoo to come back but that isn’t possible –”

A hand on Juyeon’s shoulder stops the rambling. Jacob’s gentle eyes stare into his. “Juyeon. Breathe.”

He takes a breath. Does it again. The second time, it isn’t so shaky.

“Okay. Now.” Jacob squeezes Juyeon’s shoulder slightly. “You may not be able to bring Changmin and Sunwoo back, but you can pray for their souls. Pray for their peace, pray for their well-being even in death. That a good place to start?”

With every word that comes out of Jacob’s mouth, Juyeon feels a tiny part of himself relaxing, bit by bit. He nods. “Okay.”

“Go from there.” Jacob smiles encouragingly. “Just breathe, Juyeon. You’re all right.”

You’re all right.

You’re all right.

Juyeon takes a deep breath, feeling calmer. “Thanks, Jacob. I’m sorry.”

“No need.” Sorrow flashes in Jacob’s eyes, lit by the flickering firelight. “I understand. Take your time. The Board… it’ll understand.”

With a shuddering sigh, Juyeon turns back to the altar, folds his hands on his knees. Closing his eyes, he lets the traditional words begin to float through his brain.

I revere the higher orders of the Board and beseech them to answer my prayer, loyal servant to the balance that I am. I pray for the departed souls of Ji Changmin, Kim Sunwoo, and my parents, that they find peace in the plane beyond my own. I pray for the souls of those still with me, my sister Lee Jisoo,  Kevin Moon, Jacob Bae.

Maybe Juyeon’s just imagining it, but Changmin’s insignia seems to grow warmer against his chest.

I pray that we will finish our mission with no more deaths. I pray that this war will end, that Jeon Somin will be defeated, that balance will be restored once more.

Definitely warmer. Juyeon takes comfort in the spot of heat on his skin, bowing his head further as he sends one last prayer to anyone listening above.

I pray that I have the strength to carry out your will.

. . . . .

There’s nothing in the shrine, nothing remotely red or gem-like. Juyeon’s almost grateful. At least he doesn’t need to spend another minute longer in the gray-walled building.

It would’ve been more helpful if he could’ve found the ruby, though.

Looking through the living quarters doesn’t reveal anything either, though to be completely honest, that could just be Juyeon’s fault for not looking carefully enough. These were the rooms where Changmin lived, where he was supposed to have been safe. Instead, he was forced to try and escape from his own home.

And, apparently, this was the place where the queen was killed. Not outside in the garden, like Changmin, but right here.

The blood is gone. Taemin probably had someone clean it, or he did it himself. Juyeon wouldn’t have been able to tell that someone was murdered here if the high mage hadn’t told him where he found the bodies. But the uncertainty makes things worse, really, because everywhere Juyeon steps, he doesn’t know if he’s walking on the stones where the former Ivory queen, one of his good friends, was killed by someone they both trusted.

No jewels. Nothing in the walls, nothing beneath the stone floors. Jacob can’t sense any magic, which doesn’t make sense – shouldn’t there be a strong magic trace coming from the ruby, even if he can’t pinpoint who created the trace?

Jacob shakes his head, his mouth thinned into a line. “They could have put a cloaking spell on it,” he says, looking around fruitlessly one more time. “These mages are more powerful than I am. They could’ve made it so that I’d have a much harder time sensing it than if I’d created the spell myself.”

They look through the living space again, then the prayer area. Still nothing. So they walk back outside into the gardens.

A soft breeze hits Juyeon’s skin the moment he steps onto the grass. Despite the fact that they still haven’t found the ruby, he finds himself relaxing in the presence of the cool air. Under the bright moonlight, surrounded by greenery, Juyeon feels a little bit more at peace.

Then he remembers that Changmin was killed in this very same garden and the tranquility disappears.

Stepping carefully, Juyeon walks through the grass, trying not to start at every random shadow that passes under the pale moonlight. His eyes carefully scan the overgrown flower bushes and trees, looking hopelessly for a glint of red under the stars.

A sense of déjà vu comes over him as he rounds a corner of the shrine. He’s seen some of this before, that particular tree, that stack of stones, that rosebush just next to the gray building. His feet slowly grind to a halt as he turns in a circle, eyes furrowed.

How does he know this place if he’s never been here before?

Lost in confusion, a rock on the ground knocks him off balance and Juyeon trips, falling to his knees. Scowling in embarrassment, he starts to stand.

Moonlight glints down from the sky in his periphery. And suddenly Juyeon knows.

Changmin saw that pile of stones when he was in this position with arms chained behind him, saw the trees lining the edge of the gardens as he knelt on soft grass, waiting for a blade to strike down and take his life. He saw the roses, saw a little ray of moonlight out of the corner of his eyes as gold burned and metal flashed and pain buried itself in the back of his neck.

This was where he died. 

Juyeon can’t breathe. He can’t breathe. Can’t –

Scrambling to stand, he glances to his left. Moonlight shines on a smear of something dried and black. Against his will, Juyeon looks closer. 

Pawns and kings.

That’s –

That’s blood –

Changmin’s blood –

Juyeon falls to his knees again and throws up on the grass.

For how long he sits there, gasping, not even trying to clean the sick off the corners of his mouth, Juyeon doesn’t know. At some point, though, he becomes aware of Jacob kneeling in front of him, wiping his lips with a piece of cloth torn from his shirt.

His cheeks are wet. Juyeon blinks, feeling dampness at the corner of his eyes. When did he start crying?

Jacob’s voice brings him out of his daze. He blinks again, trying hard to focus on the mage in front of him. “What?”

“I was just asking what happened.” Jacob finishes wiping his lips, letting the dirty piece of cloth flutter to the ground. “I was up ahead, and then I just heard you and… yeah.”

Bile rises again in Juyeon’s throat, but he forces the stinging sensation down. “I –” His voice cracks. “I remember here. Changmin died here. And –” he points to his side, refusing to look with his eyes – “I saw his… his blood.”

A soft gasp sounds. “Queens.”

Juyeon swallows with difficulty, nearly retching again between the disgusting taste in his mouth and the lump in his throat. He stares resolutely to his right, at the huge bush of red roses planted against the gray shrine. It’s probably about as tall as his chest, maybe even his neck.

Irrational anger rises in Juyeon’s chest. This was the last thing Changmin saw, these red roses in full bloom. Juyeon fights the urge to rip all the flowers off of their stems, to make the plant pay for Changmin’s pain –

A glint of shiny red sparkles between several green leaves as they blow in the breeze. 

Juyeon stills. “Jacob.”

The mage turns around, looking very pale. “Hm?”

“Tell me I’m not hallucinating something red in that rose bush right here.”

Jacob furrows his eyebrows. “Juyeon, they’re red roses.”

“No, something else.” Juyeon swallows. “Like a jewel.”

Looking unconvinced, Jacob gets up and walks closer to the bush. Carefully, he moves a few leaves to the side, then gasps. “It’s all the way in the middle,” he murmurs, turning around. “How…?”

Juyeon stands on shaky legs, steps over to where Jacob is. Shiny red sparkles in the pale moonlight, hidden partially by dark green stems and even darker petals. If it was any other flower bush, Juyeon would already be ripping through the branches, but the thorns prevent him from that easy course of action. Besides, this bush is gigantic. Standing up, Juyeon can now confirm the tallest branches reach the base of his throat.

A very, very bad idea springs into his mind, almost as bad as Kevin setting fire to a hill. “Jacob, give me your cloak.”

Confused, Jacob hesitates from handing over the heavy red cloth. “Why –”

Juyeon plucks the cloak from his hands and wraps it around his exposed neck. Then, before Jacob can say anything more, he draws the sword at his side and starts cutting through the bush.

Thorns rip through his flesh, tearing his clothing and scraping across his skin. Juyeon grits his teeth as Jacob cries out in the background, still hacking branches away. Leaves and red petals fall around him, thorns embedding themselves in his arms and legs, but Juyeon doesn’t stop until he’s cut through to the center of the bush.

There, nestled between the petals of several deep red roses, the ruby lies, glittering in the moonlight. Juyeon reaches out one blood-covered hand, the other holding thorny branches out of his eyes, and closes his fingers around the jewel.

Dragging himself out of the bush is almost more torturous than cutting through, but finally, Juyeon bursts into blessed open space, staggering into Jacob’s arms as he pulls free of the last thorns. Dimly, he hears Jacob cursing and unwrapping the cloak from Juyeon’s neck, trying to staunch the blood on his skin, but Juyeon waves him off. “We need to go. Now.”

Because if Juyeon stays in this cursed shrine for a single second longer, he’s going to do something much worse than vomit on the grass.

It takes long, too long for them to find a space along the fence with fewer soldiers than the rest. Skin still stinging from all of the thorn cuts, Juyeon ignores the shouts of surprise as he climbs up and leaps from the fence. Arms and legs moving on autopilot, he makes quick work of the two guards there as Jacob crashes down beside him, hands already moving to fashion the door. He drags Juyeon through just as several white figures begin to flash at the corners of his vision.

On a separate green hill, not the one blackened by fire, Kevin stares as Juyeon emerges from the door, blood dripping down his body. “What the –”

“No time.” Jacob quickly disappears the door before anyone unwanted makes it through. “Where are we going next?”

“Forest,” Juyeon wheezes. Queens, the pain just gets worse with every second. “Decide after that.”

Another door appears, thankfully dark wood this time and not plain or white like the one from his dream, and Kevin helps Juyeon through as shouts begin to sound around the group of hills. Jacob follows as Juyeon nearly collapses onto lush grass, red beginning to bleed over green.

“Pawns and kings,” Kevin swears, rolling Juyeon over. “Juyeon, what happened?”

Juyeon stays silent, letting Jacob explain everything as Kevin digs thorns out of his skin and cleans the scrapes. By the end of the story, Kevin has mostly bandaged Juyeon’s entire body up – somehow, a few thorns even got into his chest, what in the name of the Board and all that is holy – and he looks ready to commit murder.

Well, maybe not murder. But the angry exasperation in his expression doesn’t look very friendly when he turns to stare Juyeon in the eye.

“You, Lee Juyeon, Crown Prince of the Onyx Kingdom, are an idiot,” he pronounces. “The biggest idiot of our group.”

A small, sheepish smile flits across Juyeon’s face. “Sorry?”

“Queens, just shut up.” Kevin groans, turning away. “You try to stop me from burning a hill and then go and do this…” He shakes his head. “Go to sleep. I’ll deal with you in the morning.”

Jacob raises an eyebrow. “Since when did Kevin become our caretaker?”

“Since you couldn’t stop Juyeon from bloodying himself on a rose bush,” Kevin snaps. “Now go to sleep unless you plan on taking first watch.”

“Which watch do I take?” Juyeon asks.

The expressions he gets from Kevin and Jacob are one and the same. “You think you’re going to take a watch?” Kevin snorts. “Good luck with that. No, you’re out for the night.”

And there’s no arguing with that, not when Kevin has that face on. So Juyeon accepts the thin blanket Jacob throws over him, rolls over, and shuts his eyes against the stinging pain all over his body.

. . . . .

Juyeon opens his eyes to the same foggy pathway that’s become unwelcomingly familiar over the past few months. He wants to sigh when he sees his feet wreathed in smoky white on a stone floor, but his dream self doesn’t obey, only stares forward at the wooden door.

It’s definitely the same door Jacob conjured to enter the shrine. Bile would rise in his throat at the thought, but throwing up doesn’t happen in his dream. Instead, he begins walking forward, wincing as black silk brushes against the fresh cuts from his time at the shrine.

Wait.

Juyeon actually commands himself to stop, rolling up a sleeve to confirm the existence of the rose thorn scrapes. Sure enough, they’re there.

Weird. His injuries don’t usually come with him into dream world. Uneasiness pools in his stomach, but he begins to move forward anyway. Then he stops again, just as his hand reaches out to the door handle.

Changmin isn’t here. He hasn’t appeared, hasn’t passed Juyeon the insignia that forces him to relive the gray mage’s last moments over and over and over again.

Juyeon really wants to stop then, wants to sink to his knees and beg the higher orders for an explanation of this strange variation of an unfriendly dream. With all of the others, there was a script he would follow – Changmin, shrine, door, path, roses, you. It was nauseating, but at least it was predictable.

Now, as Juyeon turns the handle, he has no idea what will meet him behind the slab of wood.

The door opens. Juyeon steps through the frame onto a familiar stone path lined with rose bushes.

Castling queens. If there was one thing the dream took out, why couldn’t it be the flowers? Juyeon would choose to see his dead friend over a jewel-toned rose any day, especially in this dream.

But dream Juyeon doesn’t care about that, just starts walking forward. Each step stings his skin even more – there may not be cuts on his feet, but ever brush of his clothes against his arms and legs makes Juyeon want to cry – but he keeps going, keeps following the stone path.

There are no shades. No one offers him flowers. He doesn’t even pick them himself. The familiar sensation of dread that usually accompanies his inability to find a red rose doesn’t rise in his stomach, doesn’t force tears from his eyes at the unfairness of it all. Instead, once he reaches the silver tree, his legs buckle and he collapses to his knees.

Heart beating wildly, Juyeon bows his head as though he’s saying prayer at an altar, the way he did just hours ago in the gray mage’s shrine. Only this time, there’s no marble surface covered in dusty gray silk. Just a silver tree with silver leaves that glitter in the moonlight.

What is he waiting for? Why is he here? Juyeon tries to think but he can’t, not through the endless burning of slashes and scrapes all over his skin. In fact, the pain seems to have increased since he first opened the door, the stinging multiplying second by second as blood begins to trickle down his skin in rivulets, sticking to his clothes and marring the stone floor with drops of red –

Then a door opens behind the tree, a white door wrapped in green vines and leaves visible just between the silver branches. A familiar figure emerges, cloaked as always in darkness.

Through his eyelashes, Juyeon watches you step around the tree, coming to a rest in front of his kneeling body. Your feet step onto drops of his blood, but you don’t seem to care. In one hand, you carry a rose, a dark red one with petals that look like silk.

If Juyeon didn’t know better, he’d think it was one of the roses that housed the ruby back at the shrine.

A movement out of the corner of his eye jerks Juyeon out of his musings. Your hand comes into his line of vision. Touches his chin. Tilts it up.

Juyeon gasps as his head rises, expecting your fingers to be cold. They’re warm, though, inexplicably warm, sending a rush down his spine. His eyes flutter shut as he tries to lean into your touch, but your hand pulls away almost immediately.

Fighting the urge to whine like a child, Juyeon stays still, trying to catch a glimpse of your face. It stays wrapped in shadow, however, and despite the fact that from this position he should be able to see you, his dream prevents it.

Frustration rises in his chest, mixing with the pain of his rose thorn cuts, and Juyeon almost releases the cry of annoyance building in his throat before your warm palm presses against his forehead.

Pain.

Pain.

Absolute, blinding pain rips a scream from his throat as your palm stays firmly glued to his skin. It hurts so much, stings so much as blood courses down his skin in sticky red rivers, filling his nose with its iron tang and overwhelming every one of his senses with just how much there is, queens, he never knew his body held this much blood, never guessed that he could feel so much pain, never realized he could lose this much blood without dying –

And then it’s gone. Completely. The pain disappears as quickly as it came, your palm now pleasantly cool against his sweating skin.

Juyeon gasps as your fingers leaves his forehead, falling forward until he’s half-collapsed in a pool of his own blood. Disgusted, Juyeon goes to rip his himself away, but then the blood fades away without a trace.

Wide-eyed, Juyeon whirls around. All of the sticky red droplets have disappeared from the stone path. The only sign of his previous wounds lies in the blood crusted on his skin, but the cuts have disappeared. All of them.

Whipping back forward, Juyeon scrambles to his feet as you open the door behind the silver tree, presumably to make your exit. He reaches out an arm to hold you back, to see your face, to try and figure out who his mysterious savior is, but at the same time, he knows it’ll be useless. You’re already half-gone, stepping through the white door.

But at the last second, your head turns back. And Juyeon catches a glimpse of the side of your face, your cheek, your chin, one glittering eye –

Then he wakes up, gasping under green treetops just visible in the gray morning light.

It doesn’t take him long to realize all of his pain is gone.  

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for juyeon poor boy’s gone through a lot :/)

[secretbondsandloveconfessions]

All Bastards Are Brothers

Just a series of kinda fluffy, kinda angsty one-shots about the brotherly bond between Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel. Stories are not connected.

Ao3:

Part 1: Knowin’ My Fate Is To Be With You

Azriel shows up to dinner one night with a hickey, leaving the Inner Circle full of questions. Rhys and Azriel have a heart to heart.

“Az, what's that?"

Mor asked. He traced her glance back to the crook of his neck where, after a moment of thought, he remembered the dark purple bruise given to him only a few hours before. He quickly covered it up with a wisp of shadow and feigned innocence.

"What's what?"

"On your neck there." She pointed at the shadow. "Was that a bruise?"

"There's nothing there."

"Bullshit, move your shadows."

"I don't think I need to, there's nothing there."

"What's going on down here?" Cassian turned to face them. This could only go downhill from here.

"Azriel has a hickey," Mor said, her voice chipper and mocking.

"I do not."

"Then why won't you show me your neck?"

"Why won't you believe me?" He shot back. He was always ready to accept a challenge, and as Mor stuck her tongue out at him, he did the same.

Cassian watched the two curiously before clearing his throat. "You know, Az, before you go all defensive, you should know you're blushing." Shit. That wasn't good. He could feel his face heat up faster than he anticipated. He didn't dare look at Elain, but he felt her heavy gaze. Her very own blush was likely brushing down her pale skin as she watched him get berated for the mark that she left.

"Fine." Azriel removed his shadows and hissed. "It's a hickey."

"I knew it!" Mor cheered loudly, gaining the rest of the attention of the table. He faced Cassian again, who had a feline smirk. "Who?"

He kept his mouth shut. Any name would be a lie—one that Mor would be able to sense—and he wasn't about to bring Elain down with him.

"Second one this week," Cassian said. "I think Azriel has a side piece."

"Second one?" Mor raised an eyebrow at him, and Azriel wanted to cringe at the memory of the training earlier this week. His face felt hot. If he had blushing before, he had to be scarlet by now, especially after Cassian walked over and pointed to the place between Azriel's wings, causing Mor to squeal with delight.

Azriel had chugged the rest of his wine by the time Cassian sat down again and cursed the Mother for his luck.

"Neck and the wings? I didn't know you had it in you, Azzie," Cassian teased. Azriel weaved the shadows around him further, wondering if he should just winnow away at this point.

"How long has this been going on? Do we know her?" Mor asked. "OH! Is it the female who hit on you at Rita's?"

Azriel kept silent, refusing to answer either of his friends' remarks. Though that only seemed to spur them on more.

"Azzie, she was a hot one, no wonder you kept her for yourself," Cassian followed, and Azriel braced himself as the blonde opened her mouth again, but it never came.

"Alright, leave him alone," Rhys intervened. "He's one snigger away from disappearing into the shadows forever."

Cassian and Mor protested, but he only raised another hand.

"You never stop them from mocking me," Cassian mumbled. "That's all I'm saying."

"You make yourself a target, boy." Amren chimed in.

Mor laughed loudly at that, before pouring both of them another glass. Azriel was thankful for the subconscious reaction and the change of subject.

However, he only got a few moments of peace before he felt Rhys's warm presence ask to enter his mind, and despite his better judgment, Azriel let him in.

I'm impressed. Rhys purred into his brain from the other side of the table.

Fuck you.

More like fuck you if we're going with the evidence.

What do you want?

Let's chat tonight. Rhys vacated his mind, though not without leaving in his mind a picture of Azriel's own face, thoroughly red and sheepish, and a mocking laugh. He knew Rhys wouldn't be his savior tonight.

———

Azriel would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous, so as he knocked on the open door of the study, he pressed his lips together and grimaced.

"You wanted to talk?" Azriel asked.

Rhys nodded, leaning against his desk. "I did, and I do."

Feyre sat next to him, absorbed in a pile of paperwork, and if Azriel was about to have the conversation he thought he was going to have, then he definitely didn't want her there. He sent a pleading look to Rhysand, who, much to his credit, understood. "We'll go out to the balcony."

With a kiss to Feyre's head, his High Lord led him out to the private deck, and the anxiety in Azriel's stomach soared, his shadows swirling around him.

"I'm assuming this is about earlier."

"You're seeing someone," He stated, watching as Azriel nodded. "And I had no idea. You didn't tell any of us, which makes me think that Amren's assessment was true."

"What did Amren say?"

"She muttered something to me about you being the only male she can stand because you hide every aspect of your romances. She was wrong, Az. You've kept them out of the spotlight, but you've never lied about being with them, not like you did tonight. It made me wonder, what makes this one different?" Azriel remained silent, unwilling to answer his brother's question. Luckily, Rhys answered it for him. "I can only think of three reasons why you'd keep the identity of your lover secret."

"I see you've put a lot of thought into this."

"It's not often that you take extra measures with a lover." A valid point. "I want you to be happy, brother, truly, so please don't hide yourself from me—you have a record of doing that, you know. Will you promise me that you won't lie about anything?"

"Will you promise not to tell the others?" Azriel asked him, quietly. "You can tell Feyre, I wouldn't ask you to keep something like this from your mate."

"I swear it on the graves of my mother and sister."

"I won't lie to you then." A fond smile crossed Rhys's face.

"Good, well, I want to make sure this person is worth it, so I'll start by asking, is this secret lover worth putting the strain forward?"

"Yes," was all he could think to say. He didn't trust himself to say anymore. Rhysand's smile got bigger, spilling over into his violet eyes, and Azriel felt himself blush a little once more. Rhys was always the most sentimental out of the three.

"Good. I'm glad they're worth it. Now, I have questions. Number one, you're ashamed of this person."

Azriel looked up in alarm. "Why would I be ashamed?" Cauldron, he would scream it to the entire Night Court that he loved Elain Archeron. The entirety of Prythian if he had to.

"I thought that maybe you had gotten tangled up with someone you shouldn't, like a Spring Court Lady, or a human, or I thought for a long moment, that maybe she wasn't a she after all..." Azriel raised his eyebrow at the last one.

"What?"

"Well, it occurred to me that I didn't know if you took males in bed, and then I started thinking, that if you really hadn't wanted us to know, you could and would hide it very well. I'm not here to judge, but if you say yes, then I feel like this chat will get a little more heartfelt than intended." Rhys rambled on, scratching the back of his neck. Azriel almost pitied him.

"I've never taken a man to bed, Rhys, and I do not plan too."

"Okay, good because I was lousy at talking to Mor about that."

"...and she's not lesser fae either."

"All right then, number two: is this a protective 'She's my mate' scenario?"

"No, I don't think we're mates."

"Are you sure?"

"Most people don't find their mates, Rhys," Azriel reminded him, masking the annoyance in his voice. Just because both he and Cassian found their mates didn't mean they all would.

"True. Number three: she's someone we know. In that case, my only question is how sweet, flower growing Elain is able to bruise an Illyrian."

Azriel gaped at him, demanding. "How?"

"The only person redder than you at dinner, which, by the way, was the highlight of this decade, was dear sweet Elain. Feyre told me that she thought Elain too innocent to hear it. I didn't quite think so."

"Are you going to have this little chat with her also?"

"Oh, I think she'll suffer enough from her own embarrassment than to have me do it again. Besides, you're more fun to torture."

"Can't you go tease Cassian?"

"We both know why I can't do that..." Rhys said candidly, and Azriel didn't dare to be hopeful that Rhys would drop the subject. Rhys's small frown turned into another smile soon after, and Azriel swallowed. "You hardly ever have anything for me to talk about anyway. I need to utilize this situation to its full potential. In fact, after you inform my mate of my win, I'm going to ask her to paint your lovely face...you remember the one?"

Rhys sent the same picture of Azriel's blushed face. Azriel rolled his eyes and spoke. "Shut it, Rhys."

To his surprise, Rhys did, choosing instead to turn towards the railing and look over the glittering lights of Velaris. Azriel did the same and took another sip of his wine.

"When do you think you'll tell everyone else?" Rhys said after a moment.

"Oh, I don't know, I'd rather have tonight fade from their minds before I say anything, though I suppose that's rather optimistic of me."

"I don't think Cassian and Mor will let that go, brother, but you can deal with them."

"Well, then there's always Nesta...And I'd rather not have my cock ripped off of my body."

Rhys cringed. "She's going to be a hard one to convince, my sympathies lie with you."

"My only hope is that she and Cassian can distract each other."

"Again, optimistic."

"True," he said cordially before quickly adding, "But I suppose it's up to Elain, really. She's much more conservative in these matters."

Rhys scoffed, "The irony in that statement. You two are made for each other."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't bullshit me. You do the same exact thing."

"I do not," Azriel insisted, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.

"Az, when's the last time you had a quick fuck?"

"Wh—?" Azriel sputtered. "That's none of your concern."

Rhysand gave him a long look before he turned it into a sickening grin. Azriel wanted to slap it off his face. "You were saying?"

"Go fuck yourself," he laughed.

[bbnibini]

Oh, Brother! (Lucifer ft. Baby Beel)

Summary:  Brotherly love comes with sacrifice, even if the said sacrifice greatly outweighs its benefits. (based on a headcanon request on our old AO3 request box)

Accompanying HC for this fic can be read here. This was originally a request. The old version is poorly formatted so I decided to repost this now that I am sliiiightly better at using tumblr. Anyway, enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I consider myself to be a rather self-sufficient person. It was a fruit of years of conditioning brought upon by my unique, personal circumstances. You may also say that it is my inclination to exhibit such behaviour because of my personality. But while I make long-winded introductions that segues even further from the point I was making, let me, as my brothers say, "cut to the chase":

I have no idea what in Devildom is going on. Sets of eyes looked at me expectantly, and I did as I usually do when I am dragooned into unforeseen…problems. 

"I see." I don't. But a white lie is what is required to quell the squall of chaos right now: debris of what looked like Leviathan's furnishings were strewn on the wet floor. Looking up from the living room where remnants of the ceiling were barely keeping itself intact, Henry freefell into my arms, a timely catch away from his imminent death. I turned to my pale brother, asking "Lotan?" in the calmest tone I can muster, and was only answered in more silence. I offered him Henry, which he took still looking down, and turned to problem #2. 

"MC, may I have him?" 

"I…" 

I stopped and talked over them. "I'm not angry. Let me hold Beel."

"It's all my fault!" 

Sigh. Why do they always do this? A surge of pain was felt on my temples, but I pretended not to feel it. "Why don't you help Levi clean up his room? Do you even know how to take care of a non-human child?" 

"No, but!" they argued again. I listened. "You're not going to punish Mammon, aren't you?" 

Punish is such a heavy word. I noticed how protective they were of my brother, almost to an extent where I feel like they perceive me in an unfavourable light. They were more carefree with them, but all yes and no's with me in comparison. I wouldn't say I'm envious. Rather, I'm baffled. Occasional pranks became the highlight (read: tragedy) of my day, often while I was poring over documents and settling political disputes on behalf of Diavolo. Partnered with Mammon and Satan, they were a force to be reckoned with; one I remembered being visibly annoyed by for interfering with my work. No one shall ever know that I might…have looked forward to those times. It was a puzzle to be pieced, an idle form of entertainment to guess which kind of tomfoolery they would attempt at me that they were foolish enough to think they would succeed in. Unfortunately, any victory they may have celebrated in the past were my fabrications that only the likes of someone as observant as Satan would notice. 

"Procure a change of clothing and go while I'm still being merciful." I saw them share the same pallour as Leviathan, dragging him along while mouthing complaints under their breath. A curse perhaps, not bound by magic but of something else, directed at me, their usual villain. Such childishness that I let slide, as I was accustomed to being an enemy, especially when I know I was right. 

Beel is finally in my arms, a docile child as cherubic as the little Beel in my memories. The pieces of the puzzle are finally coming together as I look around. 

"Belphegor, wake up this instant! You're sleeping on a wet floor." You'll catch a cold, I almost felt myself saying but was able to hold myself back. "Unless you would rather be carried like the old days? I don't mind." 

"Fine, fine. I'm up." They stretched out their arms to retrieve their twin and I shook my head. "I wouldn't leave such a delicate child to someone who couldn't even coordinate themselves properly. Go to sleep, Belphegor.

.

.

.

...and Satan, if you have the time for hexes, you would also have the time to clean up this mess."

"Tsk."

"I would see all of you in my office once this is all fixed.

. 

.

.

.

Not a spot should be left unattended. Understood?" 

"Yes, Lucifer."

I don't have time for this. So many documents are left unsigned on my desk. A meeting with the Chancellor, a hearing from the House of Commons, a response to Michael's ridiculous letter…

"Wuchy, angy?"

Beelzebub's upturned eyes looked at me adorably.

"Wuchy…" I looked around and breathed a sigh of relief as I saw most of them are either absent or pre-occupied. Clearing my throat, I noticed my voice was shriller than usual. "Wuchy…" I repeated and sat Beel on the plush sofa. "Wuchy is NOT angy…"

"Bee hangu" he pulled at my sleeve, turning my attention to his rumbling stomach. "Wuchy…Bee hangu."

I nodded. "I see. Does Bee want to eat?" 

"Peas!" 

"You want to eat peas?" 

"No! Bee Hangu! Peas!" 

"Ah, " I nodded again as I finally understood. "I apologise, Bee. You're trying to say please?" 

I couldn't help but smile back when he did so in reply. 

To my disappointment however, even the kitchen was destroyed, to the point that MC didn't want me to enter. It was admirable, I suppose that they were able to explain the situation to me while everything was still in a state of chaos. 

It all started with a hexes assignment that failed miserably, turning Beel into an inconsolable toddler that caused Levi's room to be absolutely destroyed. Since nobody was capable of understanding Beel's speech, his childish tantrums got worse and caused the House of Lamentation to be in its current state. The only reason the situation subsided a bit was because of Belphie's interference. Where was Belphie in the first place? Was my question, and MC's shrug affirmed that he ignored my warning about sleeping in on the weekend. Again. I sighed. 

"Sorry, Lucifer. Why don't you eat out with Beel for a while?" 

"Bee hangu! Now!" 

"....Bee, that's my glove."

"Bee?" (MC) 

!!!!

"Beelzebub." I cleared my throat. "I shall heed your advice before Beel throws a bigger tantrum."

"Wuchy, hangu!" 

"Yes, yes. Wuchy…heard you. MC, take care of the house while we're gone."

There was a ghost of a smile on their face, one they must have tried to hide from me earlier. "Yes," They snorted, and I silently warned them to open their mouth again.  "Wuchy."

Ah. They still have the audacity to mock me. Me. Who was trying to turn a blind eye? Giving them a chance to fix their mess before anyone else finds out? I smirked back. 

"If the house falls down…or if it gets destroyed any further…prepare to face your punishment . Alone."

Their silence was enough of a penitence…for now. Beel's stomach growled louder and louder each passing second, and my gloves are currently soiled with bite marks everywhere. 

I bent down to meet Beel at eye level and pried my hands away from his nibbling. "What do you want to eat?" 

His eyes sparkled at the question, and he started chanting something in gibberish that I pretended to understand. "Wook wook! Bee fawwit!" 

Wook? 

He...never said that before. Or did he? I decided to carry him in my arms once I noticed he was having difficulty keeping up with my strides. He shook his head several times as we passed every food stall and kiosk in the shopping district, contenting himself with chewing on the gloves I thought I had confiscated already. 

It had been so long that I almost forgot that Beel was once a picky eater when he was little. Michael marveled on his "refined palate", telling me I should cherish my brother's talent (and consider giving Beel to him once he got older to train under his tutelage) but I vehemently refused. I was busy enough as a high-ranking angel and barely had the time to see my siblings, and the last thing I ever wanted was to part from them. I understood the difficulties of having an absent parent all too well, and I did not wish for my brothers to experience the same longing I had when I was the same age as them. 

Beel was as docile and as sweet as I remembered him long ago, smiling and laughing in my arms, calling me Wuchy over and over, and seeking for his twin in adorable babbles of "Bewphie" and "Bwanky", which I responded in my usual way:

"Bewphie, sleep." 

"Seepu?" 

"Yes." I answered, prying away my damaged gloves from his mouth. "Bewphie told me you should eat so you won't wake him up." I pointed at his rumbling stomach, and little Beel automatically held it and felt the rumbling coming from it. 

"Bee…wouwd (loud)?"

"Mhm. Bewphie can't sleep unless you eat something."

He must not have been able to distinguish his twin because of his current form, seeking perhaps a smaller counterpart of his brother just like the old days. After some more meandering around stalls, feeling full over the meals that Beel refused to eat, I racked my brain to figuring out the meaning behind his childish babble:

What on earth does wook mean? 

I have never heard him say it before even in the Celestial Realm, nor did I ever recall teaching him the words. 

"Wook! Wook!" Beel said excitedly again, grabbing my hair in his elation to turn to a man flipping Bat Wing pancakes in a stall. The line was atrocious, barely moving, arid and noisy. 

"Does Bee want to eat that?" 

I sighed in relief when he shook his head. "Wuchy, Wook! Wook Bee fawwit!" 

Wait a moment. Does wook mean…

"Do you want me to look?" But look at what? At the elderly demon flipping pancakes? Beel shook his head again, seemingly lost at how to translate his thoughts and feelings into his limited toddler vocabulary. 

"Wook...wook fuu fo Bee…" he squinted his googly eyes at me and made exaggerated hand gestures. "Wuchy….wook fuu fo Bee! Bee fawwit!" 

The proverbial cogs in my brain started to turn as I came across an epiphany. Before I knew it, I was already holding my DDD. 

It pains me to do this, but I cannot let Diavolo know. 

"Hello, Simeon?" 

Brotherly love comes with sacrifice, even if the said sacrifice greatly outweighs its benefits. It was evident with Simeon's jovial expressions as he opened the door. 

"It really is a baby! Can I hold him?" 

Simeon's smile never disappeared, rather, his eyes narrowed as he turned to me to speak. "Luke is good with kids. He volunteers taking care of cherubs in Heaven."

"Mhm! I have Raphael's seal of approval!" 

Sighing, I surrendered my brother to Luke, my traitorous brother who did not even cry or protest when a complete…stranger is now holding him in his arms. 

"Meemwon!" 

"Oh! I haven't heard that in ages! This sure brings back memories!~" Simeon planted a kiss on Beel's cheek and I couldn't help but frown. "Hello, Bee! It's big bro Meemwon!" Beel giggled in reply as Simeon planted smaller kisses at him, clearly enjoying the attention. 

"You're getting into this, way too much don't you think so?"

"He's adorable!" Simeon reasoned. "But, isn't his stomach growling?" 

"That's why we're here." I tried to maintain an aura of composure. "I need to borrow your kitchen. Is Solomon around?" 

Simeon's eyes widened for a bit in understanding…then I heard manic laughter. Is this really how he should conduct himself in front of the children? I kept that opinion to myself and didn't say a word. "No, he isn't. Don't worry." He looked at me again and smiled reassuringly. "Feel free to use the kitchen. We'll take care of Beel~" 

"Solomon--"

"...won't feed Beel anything even if he does come back. Just go before he throws another tantrum!" Simeon shooed me away from the living room, pushing my back to Purgatory Hall's fully furnished kitchen. It certainly had better equipment compared to Lamentation, which I can only attribute to Michael's influence. 

Cooking was one thing, but feeding Beel another. He continued rejecting meal after meal after meal of my best dishes. His stomach only growled louder, and his mood became irritable even with Simeon's and Luke's aid. The ingredients I have purchased were almost gone, left only with a half-used bag of flour, milk and eggs. 

"The best I can do with these are pancakes…

. 

. 

. 

. 

Pancakes?" 

A memory flashed in my mind, taking me back to the Celestial Realm and our former residence there. Assuring the house help that I wanted to try cooking for my brothers for a change, I begrudgingly followed the recipe book Michael had given me and started with its easiest dish. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

I attributed my failed attempts to Michael's unique, archaic wordings in his cook book and tried again. And again. And again. Numerous ruined frying pans and ingredients later, I was left with a shabby excuse of a pancake---charred at the sides, eggshells at the other. I waved my white flag in surrender and called for a food delivery instead, deflated. Some Morning Star I was. It was an hour before dinner and my siblings were peeking at the kitchen with their blinking, doe eyes.

"Wuchy...huwt?" Lilith looked up to me, looking like she was about to cry and I took her in my arms to comfort her. 

"Lucy…" I corrected myself. "Wuchy isn't hurt. Just tired."

"Seepu?" Belphegor offered me his cow pillow and I shook my head. "Later after we eat."

"Fuu?!" I managed to catch Beelzebub with my free hand before he faceplanted on the floor as he rushed to me in excitement. 

"I'm sorry, Bee. As you can see, Wuchy doesn't have anything edible he can feed you." I carried him in my free arm and showed him my culinary failures. 

"Wuchy…fuu." Beel pouted at me. "Wuchy, whie. Fuu deww! (Lucy lied. There's food over there!)" He tugged my hair and glared. "Bee, eat!" 

"Eat!" Lilith mimicked. 

"Bewphie, eat?" Belphegor followed. 

"No, children. As you can see-- Mammon, wash your hands first!--" 

I couldn't believe my eyes. 

Everyone was gathered at the table, eating my failures with smiles on their faces. Beel, who had been sitting next to me this whole time tugged me on the sleeve to ask for seconds. "Dis...Bee fawitt! Cwunch!"

"It must be the eggshells."

"Mhm! Wuv it! Wuchy?" 

I felt him wrap his arms around my side. With a wide grin, he said. "I wuv you!" 

Only to be followed by a barrage of hugs from the others, talking over each other as they gathered around me with their syrup-stained faces.

"Asmo wuvs Wuchy disssss much!" 

"Bewphie...wuv!"

"Wiwi, wuv Wuchy moww! (Lilith loves Lucy more!)" 

"I guess you're okay…but the Great Me is better!" 

"...Levi l-loves Lucy too…"

I couldn't remember much of what happened afterwards, but I do recall telling the delivery man that he can have my order for himself. After that, I strived to become better at cooking so I can serve my siblings better meals.

.

.

. 

Anyone would strive to try harder if they are ever subjected to that much smothering, I suppose. Still, I do think that after that, Beel began to eat everything happily, much to Michael's dismay.

"This looks horrifying." The plating of the pancake itself was one or two burns shy of Solomon's best attempts at cooking…I could not believe that out of every dish there is in this world, this horrible disaster is my brother's favourite food. I never really asked him about it. Perhaps I have forgotten and he happily ate everything I cooked because he had no choice. Still, it was no time to mull over such nonsense, especially if Beel's stomach is now resembling Cerberus' growls. 

"Wook!" Beel's eyes sparkled as I placed the cooled pancakes down at the table, munching on the sweet treat happily despite the…eggshells. I tried my best to emulate my failed attempts from before, and judging from the elated look on Beel's face, I must have gotten his approval. 

"Is that--" (Simeon) 

"Don't ask." I shut him up before he could even speak a word. "And please don't ever say this to Michael. I wouldn't hear the end of it."

Simeon smiled impishly in reply. "Would you cook here again--" 

"No.

.

.

.

.

.

But I suppose I owe you some hellfire mushroom rolled cigar cookies for letting me use your kitchen."

"Anytime~" 

"I was talking to the chihuahua, not you."

"I'm not a chihuahua!" 

Beel was sleeping peacefully in my arms on the way home. While still baffled at a startling discovery about Beelzebub, I hadn't much time to think about it as I was covered in confetti the moment I opened the door. 

"Happy birthday, Lucifer!" (MC) 

"Simeon took too much time! The ice cream's meltin'!" 

"Lolololol I told you he forgot his own birthday! Beel was the perfect distraction!" 

What. On. Earth. Is going on? 

"Sorry, Lucifer!" MC bowed her head and looked up to me, looking apologetic. "We were trying to throw you a surprise party but…things got…well...wrong. But, everything's okay now!" They pulled me inside and showed me the feast they have prepared for me. 

It was a smorgasbord of my favourites. From the appetisers to the desserts and wines, I recalled some of these dishes as my specialties. Satan's familiar handwriting was drawn over a buttercream cake with my name on it, along with a small drawing of me in a party hat along with everyone else. Everyone else was seated at the dining table including Diavolo and Barbatos, both of which I was trying to avoid the entire day. 

Were they involved in this ridiculous plan as well? 

MC seemed to read my mind and nodded at me shyly. "I did mess up with my homework, that much is true, but Solomon helped in undoing the spell! He was the one who suggested to turn Beel back into a toddler so we have enough time to prepare for everything!" 

Solomon waved a hand at me and smiled. "They still didn't let me cook anything though☆"

"So all of the chaos…"

"...is us cleaning up our first attempts of party preparations." Satan begrudgingly replied. "Until of course, you came back earlier than expected."

"Now, now~" Asmo interjected. "What's important is that he's here and Beel's spell is about to wear off!♡ Now, Lucifer dear, why don't you join us and blow your candles?" 

I have completely forgotten about my birthday.

I didn't see the point of celebrating it anymore, I suppose. Thousands of years of repetitions can bring ennui upon you. However, things have changed. 

The House of Lamentation had a warmer atmosphere thanks to MC, and everyone was closer than ever before. The loss of a family and an inclusion of a new one opened up our hearts enough to heal and perhaps forgive ourselves a little for the years we have ignored its value. 

Who knew such a fleeting human could be the catalyst of such unimaginable developments? 

"Oh! Beel's back!" 

"Yay~! Your seat's over there, Beel!" 

I consider myself to be a rather self-sufficient person. It was a fruit of years of conditioning brought upon by my unique, personal circumstances.

However…nothing can ever prepare me for this moment. 

"Lucifer?" 

I turned to Beelzebub, now back to his normal form and he offered me a smile. "The pancake you cooked was really good. Can you make it again for me next time?" 

I smiled back. 

"With or without the eggshells?"