#thinking many thoughts and feeling many feelings about this part
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
summertimesadnessirl · 13 hours ago
Text
Except it doesn't work.
This is actually a key concept in patriarchy!
Women are intended to serve as the civilizing force.
The morality police.
The moral compass.
Women allow, men test.
Men who are in the patriarchy will consistently value the opinions of their male friends and prioritize male friendship groups, their hierarchy, and their bonding rituals over the women in their lives while also consistently laying the responsibility for fixing the emotional wounds caused by those friendships.
The form that most abuse from patriarchal men takes is specifically either mobbing women by repeatedly exposing them to the same messaging over and over by groups of men or guilting women into thinking that they are being unreasonable or too demanding or that life is actually too hard for them.
It's not that men's lives aren't hard.
It's that when those men talk, all the complaints consistently circle back to the idea that the reason being a man is hard is that women will not take pity on them and consent to sex they don't want or relationships they're not interested in just to make them feel better.
The sense of aggrieved entitlement serves to shift the blame on women for speaking out about the things that they have experienced, or create the narrative that the job of society is to make ways to trick women into sex or relationships that they don't want in order to prevent depression, neuroticism, anti social behavior, etc. In men.
This isn't a secret. It's literally a verbatim narrative that men circulate in covert ways. The male loneliness epidemic is radicalizing young men. Not to volunteer at nursing homes or animal shelters. Not to call for more mental health support. Not to call for more paid time off so that the average person can spend more time with their loved ones. Specifically, the main thrust of the article is "if women don't fall back in line men will become violent predators." When I was younger, this was often presented with examples from ancient Greece and Rome? I forget the guy. There was a Roman historian who had this idea that young men were only interested in creating radical social change in ancient Rome because too many of the wealthy older men had too many wives and concubines. Jordan Peterson used to trot that guy out. It doesn't matter. The ancient Romans thought owls were vampires, bro.
But it's just the same thing. Last week I saw this thing on reddit where some guy was posting that the male suicide rate is higher for short men.
And I don't want that. I don't think that's a good idea. But is "Give me sex" or "give me a relationship you don't want or are not ready for" something I am going to be prepared to do with my entire life, potentially, because of the implication?
Part of rape culture is the idea that men can't control or regulate their own emotions and that women can. Women are supposed to be independent, mysterious, not ever seek attention, ashamed of wanting validation. Women are meant to find it easy to follow all social rules and to also covertly influence and help the people around them to follow social rules through hints that help them to save face. Women are supposed to avoid leading men on. They are supposed to avoid being too deceptive in their beauty regimen. They are supposed to avoid being too demanding of men and making it too hard for them to get whatever it is they want. They are supposed to completely repent and change their entire character if they change the type of relationship they want- the woman who has had casual sex is supposed to pretend to be ashamed and that all the sex she experienced was a sign of unhealed trauma and she's a good girl now and she knows that dating men who please her sexually or that she is physically attracted to or that is too nice to her or is too smart or too good to be true is a red flag, actually. She is supposed to buy into the idea that "a healthy relationship will be boring" because what makes relationships exciting is somehow abuse. She is supposed to settle down, not up.
There's this thing I notice a lot.
A thing where a lot of women who seek advice from other women for things like feeling exhausted and burnt out from doing too much of the household maintenance are asked if their spouse has adhd or autism, as if rather than getting those things treated or seeking self help advice for those things if they impact your ability to take care of yourself, the solution is just to ask your partner to do them. There is a form of this question that will be leveled when both partners are the same age and both partners are neurodivergent.
Yes, it is nice when you can be nice to people and help them get deradicalized. But the people who do that type of work professionally have support networks and professional training. And sometimes you can be nice to someone and it helps them. But the more you do that, the more likely it is that you will be targeted by people who want to hurt you or silence you or shut you up, or that this particular piece of the patriarchy where people use your desire to help people and be kind to them and give them the benefit of the doubt against you with the intent of making you believe their way of thinking.
It cannot be a social norm that women owe men sex, commitment, babies, etc no matter how they are treated in response to giving those things to prevent social collapse.
It cannot be a social norm that men get to abuse women by proxy by threatening to hurt other women or other marginalized people if women do not comply.
It also cannot be a social norm that people are expected to be kind to people who are exhibiting radicalized behaviors and also that people are constantly accusing one another in moral purity witch hunts as a way to isolate them from support networks so that if someone tried to help someone who attempted to befriend people in order to try to see if they could help them see another way results in creating a situation where they have no recourse if they are targeted by extremist groups in retaliation and agents provocateur who try to use their old support network against them.
There actually are a lot of male voices on the left including men who specialize in anti manosphere content, mentorship to men who feel like they need positive older men to talk to as role models, men who talk about why toxic masculinity hurt them in the past in ways that don't have to do with relationships, people who were amab and who aren't men talking about what that experience of growing up with people trying to force masculinity on them is like, and teams which include men and women as friends and colleagues and even some that are married or dating.
But this talking point survives because it helps to radicalize women into misogyny by trying to get them to take accountability for the behavior of misogynistic men and also encouraging them to doubt their own experiences or their own rights to their own story and to the community of other people with similar experiences by telling them that they are somehow poisoning men. They are responsible for taming them.
posts about the alt-right pipeline being compassionate towards young men while radical leftists shun and shame them are not fucking saying "the men are becoming violent because feminists are too mean!" and if that is your takeaway you need to get off tumblr until you've better honed your critical thinking skills.
those posts are talking about how effective the language and approach you take in your activism can be. this is literally cult deprogramming 101. if someone is being taken in by a violent or dangerous group, that violent or dangerous group is usually offering them compassion and solace while working hard to convince them everyone else in the world is their enemy. you are under no obligation to coddle or act compassionate toward these men and their violent ideologies, but if you have the means to try, it is something that you can do to make a tangible difference.
radicalized people are often only one loving friend or family member or external voice away from being de-radicalized. of course that is not always the case, but it very often is. a lot of y'all rightfully understand that you do not carry the burden of being that voice, but a lot of y'all also have a lot of internalized ideas about morals and punitive justice and have simply written off these people as deserving of only the worst and not worth saving.
ten years ago, my grandmother was a fox news watching republican who voted red in every election and very well could have fallen down the qanon rabbit hole if not for me and her daughter challenging her compassionately, walking her through hypotheticals that validated her feelings & proving why they were false, & being patient with her despite our extreme division in political ideology. it was frustrating fucking work! but i decided i wanted to do it, because i could see the horizon and i could see me making a difference!
"misogynists have been saying feminists are too mean for years, get new material" that is not the fucking POINT. the point is that you, feminist, can be the compassionate voice that guides your brother, your father, your cousin, your grandfather away from fucking becoming or staying a nazi. you can show them compassion and companionship. you can be the woman they think of when their alt-right bros try to convince them that women are the enemy. and you can choose to crystallize that image of yourself so wholly in their mind's eye as worth protecting that they may very well choose to reject those harmful ideas.
it's not saying you HAVE to do it! it's saying you CAN do it! don't you 'firebomb a walmart' people all love taking change into your own hands? where the fuck is that energy right now, huh?
14K notes · View notes
lorasdolly · 2 days ago
Text
Thinking about Sevika making it imbossible to stay away from her...
Among the many stories made by the greeks that one could resonate with, the one you found hitting closest to home was how humans became individuals.
Humans, originally being creatures that grew two pairs of arms and legs, along with a two heads. Fearing the power that two lovers united could wield, Zeus split them into seperate parts, ensuring they'd spend life in search of their other half.
And as the nights grew colder, you were sure that Sevika was the other half.
It felt as if your instincts brought you back to her, or maybe your lack of self control. It was challenging to spend a gloomy midnight without the warmth of her large body besides you, shielding you from any danger or discomfort.
Her bigger arms would circle around your frame and you'd feel like if dying would be safe. Though, you two weren't exempt from the usual lovers quarrel.
You'd argue, fight, and there's been times that slaps have been delivered to her face. She'd never hit you back, carrying too much dignity of being stronger to ever lay a hand on you, but it would ignite issues.
Either way, it would be easy to get over, falling back in love all over again. You'd both run back to eachother, even though you mostly did all the running.
This time was different though, the dispute was no longer a silly feud, but it has been three weeks without having her besides you.
Her line of work had gotten between you and her multiple times, but with Silco forcing her to think about the consequences of entanglement with someone quote on quote "weak", your anger rose to the top.
It boiled your blood she'd ever even dare to listen to a man who couldn't care if Sevika lived or died, as long as her blood wasn't spilled on him.
She couldn't see that, defending his point and justifying the vindication.
While the worst part was not having your emotional rock with you constantly, you were also fucking insatiable.
You laid on your bed, soaking the sheets beneath you as your fingers pumped in and out of yourself. Insatiable isn't hardly an overstatement, your other hand holding a fleshlight to your mouth, imagining it to be Sevika.
You alternated between thrusting your tongue inside the fleshlight and rolling your hips up against your already pruney hand. You missed Sevika hovering over your face as your head hung off the bed, tongue fucking her exactly how she needed.
Just the thought of being able to pleasure Sevika right now had you on the brink of cumming, quickening your movements but being sloppier from the overstimulation.
But currently, Sevika was opening the door to your apartment to pick up some clothes she needed for work with Silco tomorrow. She had an extra key you never dreamed of taking away from her, the idea of her sneaking up on you made heat pool at your lower tummy.
She imagined you'd be sleeping, it was pretty late, the clock about to strike midnight. But your thoughts kept you awake, rutting your clothed pussy against the pillow between your pretty thighs, imaging it to be Sevika's chest.
God, your mind was filthier than anything, you could most likely get off to the idea of her hitting you.
As your tongue only moved occasionally, more focused on reaching an orgasm to just sleep, the door of your bedroom creaked open. Sevika was careful, not intending to wake you up, but she didn't know she'd be keeping you awake all fucking night.
Sevika's heart dropped to her pussy because she could feel the consistent throbbing between her legs. They begun to rub together, but you had finally caught sight of her.
You were embarassed, and god that humiliation gave you an earth shattering climax.
Sevika couldn't restrain the smirk that was now plastered on her face, a throaty chuckle escaping her lips. "Nasty girl." Sevika remarked, walking closer to the edge of your bed.
"Fucking a silicone pussy with your mouth, baby?" Her smirk grew wider when you whined, a hand running through her messy and short hair.
She started crawling onto your bed, your cheeks heating up and growing a rosy shade of red. "'Vika—" you stammered, words stuck at your throat.
She prys your legs open and situates herself between them, glaring down at you, your naked body, all ready for her to take you. She chuckled at the irony of this moment, how you were splayed out for her.
"I— 'Vika, why are you here?" You mumbled, legs clasping around her.
"Came to pick some things up.. but it seems we have bigger fish to fry." she says with humor in her tone. Her hands began to wander upwards, cupping and groping your tits with an unmatched hunger.
Her hands started trailing down to your pussy, ready to pump them like she usually does. Your hand comes to grab her bicep, shaking your head with desperation.
"What, baby? You're gonna act mad still?" She says, assuming you'd still be angry with her.
She regretted it, obviously, but the days on end without any contact kept making it harder to reach out. She never had the chance to apologize to you properly.
So she kept her train of thought about your reasonable anger before it got cut off by your firm, nearly commanding, but you'd never try that with her, words— "'Vika, sit on my face, god, please."
Your voice cracked with desire. The desire to drain her cum out of her cunt, to fuck yourself as she used your face like a sex toy.
She chuckled, her thoughts and words proven wrong. She kneeled between your legs, unzipping her trousers and pulling them to her ankles before getting fully out of them.
Who was she to say no to you?
Before Sevika could fully sink onto your face, your arms slithered around her thighs, pulling her to suffocate you.
You ate her strivingly, tongue suckling on her clit and nose stuffed into her pubic hair. Sevika's hand came to tangle in your hair, securing your head in place before riding your face.
She made sure your tongue hit all the right places, nose now budging at her clit.
Your moans sent vibrations through her body, mainly her pussy as the movements become increasingly unfocused. She was practically left gasping for air above you, your tongue flicking back and forth, her juices costing your chin.
"Good.. good, baby." Sevika muttered but loud enough to be heard as she removed her pussy from your face, eliciting a disappointed whine.
Her eyes stared down at your cunt, the slick of your pussy glistening just for her. You needed the thickness of her fingers, something to keep your other needy lips occupied.
"What do you want, baby? You used your words earlier, use them now." She encouraged, pressing her pelvis against yours.
You moaned, "I— I need to have your... uh— against mine.. 'Vika."
Sevika couldn't help but laugh at the purity behind your words, "Uh? You want what, baby?" She mocked, rolling your bodies together. She wanted to merge with you the same way you did.
"Pussy.. 'gainst mine." You whispered, your bottom lip finding it's way under your teeth. You nipped at the skin to wait for a response.
She was overwhelmed from just cumming, but your pleasure came above hers every single time.
Her body lifted, pressing your thighs and bending them against your chest. She needed to feel the arousal that had built up.
She started rubbing her cunt against yours, hand finding it's way to your throat. You moaned at that, your own hand clawing at her bicep. You wanted to mutter stop, but you knew she'd actually listen, and if you weren't able to cum right now, you might as well die.
The squelching noises of slick being brought together turned you on more. It looked so dirty, you glared at the conjoined spot in awe.
Her hand tightened its grip around your neck, bed creaking as she made sure you didn't have to do any work anymore.
Her moans grew louder as did yours, a knot developing in your tummy and the way her clit knocked against yours. It was unbearable, the second orgasm of the night crashing upon you.
Likewise, she crumbled and collapsed besides you, both of you bare.
She groaned and pulled you ever close, smothering kisses all over your face and neck, begining to nip harder. A hickey soon developed, and pride painted her features as she stared at it.
"Sorry for being a dick." Sevika accounted for, mentioning the earlier fight. Her hand traced circles on the love mark.
You shook your head, "You're a good fuck."
That caused Sevika to chuckle, no space left between you two.
255 notes · View notes
beloveds-embrace · 2 days ago
Note
NORTHERN DUKE KÖNIG STEALING DUCHESS PRICE PT 2 !! Where he finally puts his plans into action and maybe gets a moment alone with the duchess and confesses his feelings and maybe she tells him she's been wanting an escape because she's been trapped in a loveless marriage and has lost hope on John ever loving her so she's 100% on board with his plan. Maybe König even tells her that he doesn't believe in the rumors of her being barren, that he thinks it's John whose infertile only for the duchess to reveal she hasn't slept with John at all and idk maybe Konig becomes angry with how neglected she's been and makes an intense vow to never leave her unsatisfied.. mentally, emotionally, physically 😏.
The garden was silent beneath the heavy cloak of snow, save for the crunch of your boots as you followed Duke König down the winding path. Lanterns lit the walkway, their golden glow casting long shadows against the frost-kissed hedges and frozen roses.
It was beautiful. Quiet. Safe.
But your pulse pounded in your ears. König hadn’t spoken since he’d asked you to walk with him, and the weight of his silence filled the space between you like smoke.
You stopped beside a stone bench, your breath curling in the cold air. “Your Grace?”
He turned sharply at the sound of your voice, his pale blue eyes catching the light and glowing like ice under a full moon. For the first time, you saw something raw there- uncertainty, vulnerability, and something far more dangerous simmering beneath the surface.
“I cannot keep this to myself any longer, Duchess,” He said, voice low and rough.
Your lips parted, but he stepped closer, towering over you with a presence that stole your breath.
“I have tried to resist it,” König continued. “To be honorable, to keep my distance- but it is impossible when every moment apart from you feels like torment.” His gloved hand brushed your cheek, hesitant and reverent, as though he thought you might disappear if he touched you too firmly.
You shivered, not from the cold, but from the intensity in his gaze.
“Your Grace
”
“Tell me I am not mad,” he pleaded, soft and fervent. “Tell me I am not imagining this connection between us.”
Tears burned at the corners of your eyes, and your throat tightened. “You’re not.” You whispered.
Relief washed over him like a crashing wave, but it didn’t temper the fire in his eyes. He cupped your face with both hands, his calloused thumbs brushing over your skin as if memorizing the very shape of you.
“Then come with me,” he said fiercely. “Let me take you away from all of this.”
Your breath hitched, eyes wide. “You mean
 leave John?”
His lips curled in frustration. “A man who does not deserve you,” he snapped. “Who parades you around as a trophy while the world whispers lies about you. Who neglects you so cruelly that you-” He stopped, exhaling sharply as if the thought pained him. “You deserve more.”
You swallowed, your voice trembling. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t hold back the next words that poured out. How many nights have you spent in the aching loneliness of your bedroom, aware that your husband merely tolerated you out of necessity and nothing else?
“I know.”
König froze, searching your face. “You
 know?”
You nodded, tears finally spilling down your cheeks. “I’ve wanted to escape for so long. I just
 I didn’t think anyone would ever care enough to take me away.”
His expression twisted, anguished and furious. “Care enough?” he repeated, dangerous. “I would burn kingdoms for you.”
A sob broke from your throat, and before you could stop yourself, you leaned into him, letting him pull you into the warmth of his embrace. His arms wrapped around you tightly, as if he could shield you from the world. There was something so delightful, so safe, in the way he held you so wholly- hiding you in his arms from all the world.
“But what if the rumors are true?” you whispered against his chest, saying aloud the doubts that have started to take root in your mind from hearing all the rumors swirling about you. “What if I can’t give you the future you want? What if I can’t give you children?”
König pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his hands bracketing your face. “I don’t believe the rumors,” he said firmly. “Not for a second. It is Price who is unworthy- he is the one who has failed you, mein Liebe, not the other way around.”
You shook your head, a bitter laugh escaping you. “He hasn’t failed me because we’ve never even tried.”
König stilled, his eyes narrowing. “What do you mean?”
You looked away, ashamed. “We’ve never lain together. Not once.”
The silence that followed was deafening.
König’s hands dropped to his sides, his shoulders trembling with barely contained rage. “Not once?”
You flinched at the venom in his tone, but when you looked back at him, there was no anger directed at you- only heartbreak.
“He’s treated you like this?” König growled. “As though you are unworthy of his attention, his affection? Like a possession to be displayed but never cherished?”
The tears were freely flowing now, and no verbal confirmation was needed.
A guttural sound rumbled in König’s chest, his fury barely leashed. “He has neglected you. Deprived you.” His voice dropped, dangerously soft. “I swear to you, I will never make that mistake.”
You blinked up at him, startled.
He stepped closer, his presence alone overwhelming. “I will never leave you unsatisfied- mentally, emotionally, or physically.” His voice was a vow, sharp and unyielding, not allowing any space for doubt. “You will never have to wonder if you are loved, worshiped.”
The heat in his words sent a shiver down your spine, but you didn’t step away. If anything, you leaned closer, tearful eyes wide.
“Say you’ll come with me,” König urged, his thumb brushing away your tears. “Say you’ll let me take you away from this emptiness and give you the life you deserve. Be my Duchess.”
Your breath caught. This was a horrible decision- you couldn’t imagine what would be said about you, about König, what your parents might do, what John might do-
“Yes.”
König didn’t wait. His lips crashed against yours, fierce and desperate, as though he’d been holding himself back for far too long. You melted into him, clutching at his coat as he deepened the kiss, claiming you with every stroke and sigh.
When he finally pulled away, his breath was ragged, and his eyes burned with promise.
“Two days from now,” he said. “I will send that Narr your divorce papers, and I will take you away from this nightmare.”
And for the first time in years, hope bloomed in your chest.
235 notes · View notes
toothfa-1-ry · 9 hours ago
Text
YOU STILL LIKE IT THOUGH
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
GENRE: Fluff
PAIRING: Choi su-bong/thanos x preg!fem!reader
FEAT: Nam gyu as the supportive bestie (that he never rlly was)
A/N: this fic i based of a request from anon !! Tbh i changed ALOT of the request (haha- sorry 😞) because I felt like it was a little repetitive and idk i just can't write rlly emotional scenes with Thanos for some reason (??) ALSO I feel like there are parts where Thanos seems ooc? Idk.. i wrote this instead of studying in the span of 30 mins
Tumblr media
"Whoo!" You hear Thanos shout on the top of his voice while he high fives nam gyu as they both jump up and down as if they were children in elementary school after winning a play ground game
You manage your groan, suppressing it while you stare at them from afar, of course that crazy fucker managed to pass through the first game.
You hated to admit it, but a part of you was relieved,
You always had a thing for psycho guys, and your ex boyfriend? The one with the brightly dyed hair who was now doing some weird dance seemed to proudly embody every part of that sentiment.
You carefully watch from afar, not wanting to catch his eyes, your hand unknowingly lay over your stomach while you move uncomfortably in the bunk bed
Fuck, your feeling dizzy all over again
You hear a thud against your bed post, you look up slowly, your eyes slightly squinting to see the purple haired boy with a usual frown on his face
"Hey" his eyebrows raise "are you okay"
"I thought I told you to get lost earlier"
Your mood swings weren't really helping either
"Geez woman" thanos tchs but sits beside you in your bed anyways "im just trying to help" grumbling under his breath but the cautious expression in his face saied otherwise
"I came here to brag about how amazing i usually am but seeing you like this is just killing the vibe yknow"
he makes a hand gesture in the air, leaning face closer in an attempt to make you smile which does not go wasted as the smile you tried to supress escaped your face
"Fuck off you loser" your still kneeling, your hands over your knees and your face hiding behind your knees but he hears the smile in your voice anyways.
He wouldn't want to admit it, but he was relieved
He always had a thing for girls with pretty voices and you? The girl right next to him had to have one of the prettiest voices he had ever heard. Ofcourse who would better know than a rapper like himself?
"I thought I told you to stick close to me, instead you leech to that crazy old man" thanos says as he points towards gi hun who sat far away in the opposite side
You immediately slap his hand, causing him to wince while retracing it back, rubbing it softly
"How many times will I tell you! You shouldn't point your hands at strangers especially to people who are older" you scold him rather loudly causing him to wince even more
"Agh" thanos ruffles his neon hair while complaining "why don't you shout louder so that everyone will hear and laugh at me?"
You resist the urge to roll your eyes upon his childish manners, he really didn't change
Thanos suddenly bangs the top of the bunk with a loud sound, taking you by shock
"Oi" his voice loud and almost threatening "nam gyu" calling out the man above the bed
Immediately your taken by shock once more when a man's head pops upside down, with black oily hair falling all over his face from above the bed
"Yes Thanos?" Nam gyu quickly inquired while sparing you a quick glance which didn't go unnoticed by the scowling man next to you
"Did you hear her telling me off?" He points at nam gyu before quickly adding "careful, there's only one correct answer"
Nam gyu pauses and thinks which seems to be the wrong thing to do as it just annoys Thanos
"Whats wrong with you, tell me quickly!"
"N-no! Not at all! Infact nobody heard anything!" Nam gyu quickly says, obviously lying but this seemed to please Thanos who now held a haughty face
Wow, this is was supposedly the father of your unborn child. Shame you and your taste in weird guys
Before Thanos could open his mouth to say something, a group of pink guards enter the room with large containers
Straight away you freeze up, shrinking behind the bed while your heart hammered, fear spread across your face
Noticing your expression on your face, instinctively Thanos covers you with his back, shielding you with his arms which covered your sides while his expression, though you could not see was filled with wariness
The pink guards open the large containers they were carrying as everyone watched quietly, scared as they were unsure of what to expect, you included
The pink guard with the white circle lifts up a piece of bread and milk "lunch time" announcing in the same robotic voice like all the other guards
A sigh of relief escapes your mouth as your shoulders relax, unlike you Thanos still shields you, covering your face with his back
You hit him with a thud on the back of his head
"What the hell man" thanos turns around, his eyes glaring at you
"Stop trying to act like a hero you shameless prick" you frown even though his actions did leave you with a warm feeling in your heart
"Your acting so protective after all the stunt you pulled before we broke up" you continue "seeing you act all so protective is just pissing me off even more"
Thanos throws his head back, groaning "give me a break woman. You know I was going through a hard time"
"Bullshit" your fold your arms, as if it was act to protect yourself, and the unborn baby in your stomach.
The poor thing was only 2 months old
The both of you hear nam gyu cough from above the bed, forgetting that he was there in the first place
Again Thanos bangs the top of the bunk, causing you to give him a look
"Stop doing that" you scold him
"doing what?" Thanos raises his eyebrow before banging the top of the bunk again while sticking his tongue at you
Nam gyu pops back down again, upside down, the sight would have been hilarious only if you weren't experiencing the pain in your stomach and the sight of the man sitting beside you
"Go get lunch for me and my girl" thanos tilts his head towards you while avoiding your eyecontact while you tell yourself not to think about the fact that he still referred to you as 'his girl'
"go fast what are you still doing here" thanks reprimanded nam gyu
Nam gyu awkwardly stood unsure of what to say "but it's just one bread and one milk per person"
"Then give her yours" thanos said simply "and go steal someone's lunch for me"
"Then what about for me?" Nam gyu asked dumbfounded which caused Thanos to pause and think for a while
"That's not my fucking problem man- now go" he pushes him away, leaving you with a heavy sigh
"I don't want to eat"
"Don't talk bullshit" thanos eyes you "you think i'm gonna let you starve? I never did, and i wont be starting now"
Again with the whole protective boyfriend act, fuck, why did it make your heart race a little?
"Your still such an asshole, you didnt change a bit" you huffed as you leaned behind, resting your back against the wall
"Well you changed" thanos says which quirks your curiosity
"How so?'
"I don't know" he shrugs "something is different. Something happened, i can't exactly ppint my fi ger at it though"
Your eyes dart away from his while your breathing started to fasten slightly
"Oh yea? How so?" You ask, your voice slightly higher than it was which Thanos picks up immediately
"Ohoho" he grins "did I get it right? Did you get something done?" He glances you up and down which leads you to hitting him
"Ow- i was just joking, you still take everything so seriously" he grumbled holding your hand from hitting him "I wish that part had changed'
Your other hand comes swinging which he again grabs softly
"jokingg" he says in a sing song voice before letting both your arms go leaving you with a scowl and him with a satisfied smirk in his face
"Asshole" you mutter which stretches his smirk even more
"You still like it though"
You almost swear you heard a hint of vulnerability in his tone, prompting you to glance at him quickly just to catch him already looking at you
"So? Aren't you gonna ask me what has changed?" You ask slowly, in your head trying to process whether your doing the right thing or not,
You first found out you were pregnant with your baby right after you and Thanos broke up.
The following days, whenever you went to pay him a visit, he was always missing, causing you to believe maybe it was better for him not to know. And then you suddenly meet him for the first time after your breakup during the squid games
The timing was almost comical
"Why?" Thanos continued still with an amused face "you still seem the same on the inside"
Your hand immediately goes to your stomach, slowly tracing along it from above the green track jacket which everyone wore
"Don't tell me your sick or something" thanos asks with his voice slightly raised as he notices your action "fuck are you?"
His eyes slightly widens as he frowns "hey" he snaps his finger upon your zoning out "are you sick?"
"Hm?" You ask confused
"What the fuck" he swears under his breath with a anxious expression on his face while his hand runs through his finger "is that why your here? To win some money for your treatment?"
"Su Bong its not like that-" All your attempts of correcting him seemed to be futile as he sweared loudly, getting out of the bed
"Shit shit shit!" He grabs his head while he paced around the floor, a sight you had seen a few times over the span of your relationship
"ofcourse that's why your here, you would only be here for a sensible reason"
"Oh, su bong" you attempt to appeal to him, reaching your hand out, pulling his closer towards you while he hands were still over his head, eyes lowered
"Fuck baby I'm so sorry" he breathed out "shit i never should have left, i thought" he paused "I thought I'd win some money and get you back, give you the life you really deserve but"
You watch his dazed expression while he rambled, you bit you underlip, hesitant of whether to tell him the truth still
"Fuck, i didn't even know that, i didn't even know you were sick-"
Before he could continue again you grab his face , forcing him to look at your face
"I'm not sick, that's not why im here"
Thanos breathed heavily, everything felt so real suddenly, he felt his cross necklace strapped around his neck, his fingers itching to pop a pill in his mouth to sooth his nerves
"I'm not sick" you shake your head as you lean your forehead against his "su-bong"
You can still feel his strained breaths and darting eyes
"I'm pregnant"
And it all stopped,
You held your breath, afraid of what would happen if you let go, your could heart your heartbeat from your ears, feel the realisation setting inside thanos,
You were scared. Scared of how he would react
He breaks away first, slowly and gently. Staring at you with no expression in his face,
"And it's yours" you rapidly feel the need to add, taken back by his silence which didn't not suit him "and i know having a kid was never in your plan, and i know things are over between us but-"
Your body is wrapped by his arms and his face nestles in your neck, pulling your deeper in his embrace
"Holy shit" thanos whispers in your ear, you can hear the giddiness radiating off his voice "im a dad"
"Yea you are" you laugh a little as you say "your a dad"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I never got the chance to"
Thanos furrows his eyebrows but doesn't press any more "will you let me be our baby's dad?" He ask
"You know I grew up without a dad, this kid doesn't deserve that" he pokes your stomach with a soft grin which looked slightly odd against his eccentric features "I wanna be in this kids life"
You nodd softly, hearing his words
"And yours too" thanos looks up to you, grinning while he winked at you "senorita"
"You corny bastard" you laugh shaking your head
"You still like it though"
You nodd your head, with tenderness in your eyes and voice
"I do"
â‚ŠËšïœĄâ‹†â†â‹†ïœĄËšâ‚Š extra scene pack !!
"Thanos!" Nam gyu came running with 3 pieces of sweet bread and 3 packets of milk "I got it! Do you know how much trouble i went to get all these-"
"Give it here " thanos grabbed all the bread and milk away "why did you take so long anyways"
Nam gyu held his hands as he pouted "I mean- i had to fight like 2 guys for bread and milk for us-"
Thanos brushed him off as he opened all the packets of bread and poked in the straw of all the milk packets
"Uhm thanos" nam gyu apprehensively called out "What are you doing?"
Thanos hands you all the bread and urges you to eat while he holds the packets of milk in his hand, ready to feed you
Thanos gestures towards you who was sitting in the bed, now wrapped in not only your jacket but his aswell "can't you see the lady is pregnant"
Nam gyu scratched his head "pregnant? With who?"
Thanos shakes his head, exaggerating his actions "dumb ass, she's pregnant with my baby ofcourse" he announced like it was the most obvious thing in the world
"Holy shit!" Nam gyu gaped his hand covering his mouth as he stares at you while you sheepishly smile at him
Thanos let out a small laugh which then slowly grew louder
"What? Why are you surprised? Ofcourse i succeeded in my first try- fuck" he kneels down in pain after being striked by you in the stomach
Nam gyu pulls a face in behalf of Thanos as he pats his back sympathetically while he whispers to you
"Don't worry. I know it probably wasnt his first try or anything- ow" nam gyu kneels on the ground after being hit in the stomach by thanos
â‚ŠËšïœĄâ‹†â†â‹†ïœĄËšâ‚Š
"What... what are you guys doing?" You question as you approach Thanos and nam gyu who were huddled up in a corner, in a long rather quiet conversation which seemed like an unusual activity for both of them to part take in
Both in the 'discussion' and 'quiet' part
Thanos loops his arm around your with a proud smirk on his face while urging nam gyu to announce what they were discussing
Nam gyu nodds eagerly as gets up in his two feet quickly, standing straight and tall with a loud and confident voice "we have decided the perfect name for the baby !!"
You see thanos's broad smile and nam gyu's confident voice, uneasiness settling in your stomach for whatever name they picked out
"These is the name that Thanos and i have personally given a lot of thought for and chosen after much contemplation !!"
Thanos nodded his head with a content expression while he winked at you, assuring that you'll like it
"Ahem" nam gyu clears his throat "before I announce the name that we have chosen, i would like to give recognition to the name we almost chose aswell !!"
Thanos immediately began clapping his hand loudly "waaah, I never knew you could speak so well "
This comment made nam gyu's chest fill swell with pride as he puffs out his chest a little
"I shall now, announce the first runners up, the name that almost was given to the new born baby"
nam gyu pauses which prompts Thanos to make the sound of drum rolls
"Nebula" nam gyu announces as he and thanos clap loudly.
Seeing your still figure both men urge you to claps aswell
"Nebula?" You mutter under your breath "where have i heard that name before?"
"And now, the name that has been selected over numerous selection test and discussion, the name of the baby is" nam gyu points at your stomach
"Gamora"
Thanos whoops loudly, both nam gyu and him clapping their hands in the air while you stand off handedly as it hits you
"Your naming our child after the daughter of the purple alien monster from a superhero movie?!"
364 notes · View notes
ravenmacduff · 1 day ago
Text
Sorry that I'm about to write a treatise on monsterfucking. But this post sparked that little obsessive part of my brain that needs to talk about it. So, I see monsterfucking in a couple of different ways. The most basic and simple is Monster HOT. Monsters are inherently sexy. And writers and directors *coughs Del Toro* recognize this and play into it. The Asset was designed to be attractive with a nice butt and kissable lips.
Tumblr media
But we also have to ask why Monster HOT? Well, from my own experience as a trans woman, the monster is always portrayed as "the other". Myself and people like me are constantly demonized. They see us as dangerous. They call us predators, freaks, forced into this societal position where there are legitimately people afraid of us. (This goes for other marginalized identities too)
Tumblr media
Afraid in the same way that they would be of a monster. And I think that's where a couple of my own ideas come into place. The first is empathy for the monster. In seeing ourselves in the monstrous, we want to reach out and offer love and affection. The same love and affection that we, ourselves need, and often don't receive. There's many horror movies where the monster just wants to be loved and in the end is rejected. Or killed based on societal fear.
King Kong is one story. It's represented in the final quote of the movie "It was beauty that killed the beast". Kong's love for Ann Darrow, which it's been a while, but I believe was rejected in the 1933 film, and accepted in the 2005 film. Kong always was "the other" (and was suggested in criticism of the film to represent blackness) to Ann Darrow, a conventionally attractive white woman. Kong's love of Ann represented the fears of interracial marriage at the time. Kong craved love, and society doomed him. As someone who is also othered doesn't it make sense to empathize with him?
Tumblr media
Shape of Water, again also plays with this but more explicitly. Our Protag, Elisa is a disabled (mute) woman, her best friends are her black co-worker and her gay neighbour. All three are marginalized people. All three are shown to face discrimination throughout the film. Del Toro made sure that the fact these people were othered was text, rather than subtext. The main antagonist, Colonel Strickland, of the story is a white cishet man. His aggression, disregard for others and need for domination are extremely evident from his introduction. He's the kind of man who would be a protagonist in any other horror movie. Back to Elisa, it's her otherness that allows her to see the humanity within The Asset. The intelligence, the capability for love. In the end it's that love that saved both of them, while Colonel Strickland was doomed by his hate.
Tumblr media
Those are just two examples of empathic monsters. For myself of course I want to love and be loved, and for a long time the fear of rejection for being a trans woman stopped me from truly achieving that. But I am loved and I'm loved by others like me. Who don't fear me because it found a different way to womanhood. And so of course I love monsters, because it shows I can be loved too.
My second thought about monsterfucking relates to a loss of control. Your powerlessness against a creature 10 times stronger than you. Who has all sorts of ways to make you submit. In other words a non-con kink. A kink that is often highly reviled because of its implications, but also very common. I believe the woman in the picture that I'm responding to is specifically referencing her own disgust with dub- or non-con.
Loss of control is a huge kink because many people, especially women feel like they always have to be in control. In control of their emotions, in control of any situation, in control of their sexuality, in control for their own safety. The point of being in control of our sexuality has been hammered in so intensely that to accept that we even have desires is hard. We're not supposed to want sex, we're supposed to deny ourselves. Slut shaming, attacks against women for being too sexual, all reinforce that a woman is not allowed to want for herself. We crave a release, to stop thinking all the time, to allow ourselves to want.
While heterosexual sex is so focused on the man, on the masculine penis, that a woman's pleasure is oft put to the side. You still have to think about others even when you want pleasure yourself.
Well, the monster doesn't care. The monster is going to give you exactly what you want have been denying yourself. This goes for men too. Louis from Interview with a Vampire is a good example. His bisexuality is frowned on by society, but Lestat doesn't care. Lestat is going to show Louis exactly what allowing himself to let go and accept pleasure is like. And for most of the movie Louis continues to try and deny himself, until he finally lets go and accepts who he is.
Tumblr media
Speaking of vampires that brings me to my last point. Monsterfucking as a way to get power. And the clearest example I can think of this is Twilight. Bella, while attracted to Edward, was more interested in receiving the power Edward has, than Edward himself. She wanted to be a vampire and this was clear from the beginning. But Edward had to be all Mormon about it. There's many people who find power in the monstrous. To take a piece of the monstrous into yourself and thus gain the same power. And power is sexy.
Werewolves are shown as power through their physical prowress. It's very rare you see a lanky, malnourished werewolf. *Looks at a certain series with distain*
Tumblr media
Idk I kinda rambled on. But those are my thoughts
Tumblr media
Every day I am thankful to not be a TikTok user
6K notes · View notes
raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 days ago
Note
how do you think leona would do if he falls in love?
Tumblr media
Here are my thoughts in bullet-point/headcanon form for ease of reading! Key word there being my thoughts. (There will of course be different interpretations based on who you ask this question to.)
Standard disclaimer: These points are nothing more than my opinions and I am NOT saying my opinions are any more or less valid or “correct” than yours. Please, I’m not pre-book 1 Riddle/j It’s fine to have other takes; just remember to be mindful in how you communicate differences in opinion.
To start with, here's how I think Leona would deal with the experience of first love:
Firstly, I definitely feel that Leona is the type of person to not easily fall in love. There are many examples in canon of Leona rejecting the love he receives from others, whether it be from his own family (Cheka, Falena), dorm members (Ruggie, Jack, Savanaclaw mobs, etc.), or other peers. Even though he desires others’ approval and praise, he also simultaneously believes the compliments are insincere or that he may not be deserving or worthy of it, that he hasn’t “earned” it. It’s also difficult for him to be emotionally vulnerable with others, and I feel that this would extend to romantic circumstances.
Continuing from the previous point, I think it’d be a slow burn. Like, the feelings develop gradually and manifest in small but increasingly more forward-facing ways like his gaze lingering for a second or two longer than usual, him getting slightly irritable when he smells (I 100% believe that smell is a Big Thing for beastmen) some other guy on the object of his affections, or simply
 his mind wandering to them, maybe in a daydream.
A lot of it is Leona musing about the situation and then being in denial. He’s not so oblivious as to ignore what are clearly blossoming feelings, but he's not so hasty as to act on them right away. He'd sit with those feelings, examine them, question them. What is it that he is experiencing and why, how did things come to this, etc. He may even try to convince himself it's a phase or he's "too good" for this or he's "above" this. Really takes a long time to wrestle with his emotions and to sort them out. And then when he has come to his conclusion, he might not be very pleased with it because (as I said before), he has self-esteem and self-worth issues despite outwardly presenting himself as confident and in-charge.
For a while, he keeps his distance and observes. He’s nothing if not a big cat biding his time, keeping an eye on his prey until—BAM! Down comes his paw, ensnaring the mouse. It's like a game of chess or... cat and mouse. You have to watch your opponent and predict their moves, then plan your own moves two or three or more steps ahead of them. He'd want to gauge if they're already taken, if they seem to express an interest in him too, what they like and dislike, information like that. The last thing Leona'd want to do is charge in, guns blazing, only to be rejected and have his pride hurt.
He may also go out of his way to test the object of his affections by purposefully engineering scenarios to see how they react. At first, it's subtle things that could easily be passed off as coincidence or happenstance. For example, maybe Leona would accidentally bump his shoulder against yours or as he's walking by his tail flicks you. That's just the start though. He'd put more pressure on over time. Like he'd be more confrontational, putting himself in your path as some obstacle to overcome, still being sort of an asshole to see how you handle yourself around him.
Leona tells himself he has the upper hand, and he's usually pretty consistent about hiding his feelings to that end. It might peek through here and there, but they easily read as him being tsundere as per usual. I think that would be his way of coping, because deep down he doesn't want to admit that a part of him is scared to feel this way. It's something else he could fail at, someone else he could frighten away or destroy.
With time, I think he'd become more confident. He has a better grasp of the other person, he's been able to sort out his thoughts. But the thing is, his pride is still a major deterrent. Instead of coming out and saying it, it would become another game. If you've ever read or watched Kaguya-sama: Love is War, it'd be similar to that. Leona would push for the other person to be the one to fall for him and confess first. Part of it is he's kind of afraid to be so emotionally vulnerable, part of it is that he's desperate to be wanted and needed by others, and part of it is that he feels he needs to "earn" that love by winning you over. He wants that sweet, sweet validation from you. He wants YOU to choose HIM.
I think he expects a certain amount of push and pull. If the game's too easy for him, the (psychological) hunt loses some of its thrill. I think he'd also be the type to seek a partner that isn't just a blind yes man (despite him giving off the vibes that he wants to be in total control, especially in his own dormitory); they should be able to keep him on his toes one way or another, and they shouldn't idolize him in a really unrealistic way--because then he worries what would happen if they learn about his flaws. Would they see him differently? Reject him? Etc.
It'd take a considerable amount of time and effort, but slowly he'd let the walls around his heart down to let you in--but ONLY if you pass his tests and prove that you can be loyal, trustworthy, and cognizant + accepting of all his flaws. He has high standards, so he's pretty picky about who he allows to be by his side. I don't think he'd be happy having to like... put in a fake "perfect prince" act or airs for someone else. Pretending to be someone you're not in order to have love might be just another source of stress for him.
He would take a more aggressive approach if the object of his affections makes it obvious that they return his feelings. More "accidental" touching (but of course nothing that breaches into something they find discomforting), intentionally dropping phrases that come off as flirtatious, demanding to spend more time together, etc.
If they're not into it, he'd respectfully back off. However, that won't stop him from moping about it in private later.
Tumblr media
Then, assuming a scenario in which he and the person he's romantically interested in get together/start formally dating:
I think he'd be a lot more blatant and shameless about "showing off" his affections and/or the relationship in general. Overt flirting at this point, casually laying his head on the shoulder or wrapping an arm or tail around you, etc. Who cares who sees? Let them know you're already taken.
Oh yeah, he's really into physical touch (within whatever limits you deem to be acceptable; he respects your autonomy). Cuddles while napping, hand holding, head pats, listening to your heartbeat, etc. It grants him a sense of security that you're like... physically there with him.
I think words of affirmation are also up there, however I don't think he would appreciate it if it's like... overdone. Too many compliments might start to feel disingenuous or even smothering after a while (what comes to my mind specifically is how he reacts negatively or with denial to his brother, Cheka, Kifaji, and even his own dorm members praising him).
As I mentioned earlier, I think there'd be a lot of banter and teasing; Leona strikes me as someone who likes to toy with his pre or puts up a fight; he still has his pride and won't take sass lying down, he'd definitely retaliate but in a playful way.
Slightly whiny and needy. Key word: SLIGHTLY. He's not going to go full yandere on you. I believe that Leona would be somewhat insecure about the relationship and wants you to validate him with your presence. Like, if you're lying down somewhere and try to get up to leave... he might pout and be all dramatic about it, maybe throw in a sarcastic line about how he's "a delicate prince" and how he'll "wither like a flower" without you.
Slightly possessive. Again, the key word: SLIGHTLY. He's not going to restrict your movements or demand complete control of your life. However, he might sulk if he like... sees some other guy hovering or getting handsy, obviously making you uncomfortable. (If it's a particularly bad day for him, Leona might get intrusive thoughts about being the "second pick" and his partner leaving him for some "better" guy.) We've already seen he can get pretty territorial when it comes to Savanaclaw and the Botanical Garden, so I think at some point he'd also step in to intimidate people he feels are becoming a problem for his S/O. It's not the case for every situation though; his partner should be able to handle themselves or let him know when he's overstepping.
I think he'd be a little more tolerant of things his partner pulls. They're the one exception for certain things, like touching his ears or being more willing to listen to their requests to go to class or to try this new vegetable.
He'd try to distance his S/O from his family, especially in the beginning. Leona would tell them he doesn't think they're ready to meet the royal family yet (especially knowing the rocky relationship he has with his family), but really a lot of this stems from his pride. Falena, for example, honestly might make him look uncool by infantilizing his "baby bro".
Leona doesn't really go out of his way to plan grand gestures (he's not Kalim). If he does anything "big", it's probably like sending Ruggie to your doorstep with fancy flowers and a notecard or something. What he values isn't the "frivolous" stuff, but spending quality time together (even if it's doing nothing in particular). Might still spoil you on, say, special occasions, but he generally dislikes making a big deal of these things.
I think he'd be into you wearing his clothes. It's an easy visual indication that you're intimate enough to do this, but also it cloaks you in his smell so every other beastman in the immediate vicinity also knows you're "marked". Leona tosses his unworn blazer over you, casually saying, "Keep it."
I do believe he has the capacity to be very sappy, but I don't think he'd want to be at this level all of the time. It would probably be limited to private settings and done sparingly, sort of like a treat?? Cuz if he does it too often, then it might lose its "special" feeling, and I also feel like he wouldn't be open to being all squimshy 24/7. Usually his sappiness is sarcastic.
Going to keep it 100 here, he's going to be more vulnerable around you (especially in private), and that means potential traumadumping. That's not to say that he'd do it super frequently to go into full-blown details, but his S/O would be one of the few people he feels comfortable enough with to open about his deepest insecurities and fears. He sometimes needs someone to hear him out, a shoulder to cry on, etc. Of course, he's not going to treat his partner like an unpaid therapist. Leona just... needs some extra support every now and again, reminders that he's doing fine, you know??
Tumblr media
IMPORTANT ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Leona being in love would NOT smooth out all the rough edges to his personality. He's not going to white knight/act like you constantly need his protection, he's not going to bend over backwards and do anything and everything his partner asks of him. He still has a will and he can and will disagree or argue if he's opposed to something. He'll still let you handle yourself as needed.
Leona being in love would also NOT magically cure him of his personal issues and struggles. This is also true of the other characters who have deeply rooted trauma, but I feel this point should be included as a reminder anyway. It's of course not his entire personality, but his past experiences will impact how he interprets and reacts to things in present day (hence him being needy/wanting validation, etc.).
Like all relationships (whether romantic or platonic), it would not be flawless. There will be highs and lows, fights and disagreements, etc. This is normal in any relationship; what matters is that you're able to be mature enough to patch things up afterwards and learn from those rough patches.
402 notes · View notes
iamzer0 · 17 hours ago
Note
May you please do yandere platonic season 2 squid game reader with 13 year old reader who wants to stay
Hi can do!
YïżœïżœïżœÉŽáŽ…áŽ‡Ê€áŽ‡ Pʟᎀ᎛ᎏɎÉȘᮄ Sǫ᎜ÉȘᮅ Gᮀᮍᮇ ᎥÉȘ᎛ʜ Tᮇᮇɮ ʀᎇᎀᎅᎇʀ
Tumblr media
(MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS)
You had managed to get yourself into the games, congratulations..! I guess..
You tried to blend in but you stuck out like a sore thumb.
So many people had questions especially this guy named Gi-hun.
For some odd reason he was very insistent on you leaving.
You just couldn’t understand why, all you were gonna do was play some silly games for some cash.
How dangerous can that be?
During the first game red light green light, you knew you had this in the bag.
That was until the first shot was fired, your entire body froze. Even with Gi-hun screaming instructions you were still frozen.
Even when people began to start moving again you stood there frozen.
Tears are down your face, you were terrified.
Then someone grabbed your shoulder, it was this lady with a lip ring(player380).
She guided you along the field.
You had 30 seconds left, the people that were at the finish line screamed words of encouragement towards you.
It was strange to have so many people cheering you on all at once.
You crossed the line finally, and collapsed into player 380’s arms.
After the game you sat on the floor, ignoring the sympathetic looks from others.
You sat there thinking on what to do.
Thats when player 388 came and sat with you, he introduced himself and his friends to you.
“Are you ok..?” Gi-hun asked in a tone that could only be described as pity.
“Yea.. I think” you said quietly.
That’s when armed guards came in, they told y’all about the voting system and how you could vote to stay in the game or not.
Everyone placed their votes when it was your turn the room became eerily silent.
You could feel everyone’s eyes staring at you. Your hand hovered over the X button but then you thought about it.
About your parents and their struggle, you thought about all the loans they had to take out just to keep you in school.
You hesitated before pushing the O button.
You heard a collection of gasps and cheers.
You slowly walked towards the O side avoiding Gi-Huns look of disbelief.
You were met with pats on the back and words of support.
Then in a flash you were pulled to the side by some purpled haired guy(thanos) he did his whole introduction.
You thought he was insane, he looked cracked out.
But every time you tried leaving he would pull you back.
He looked at you as if you were an artifact that needed safe keeping.
Fortunately you pulled away by dae-ho(388).
That was when you met player 001(frontman) he stared at you intensely studying you.
They questioned you on why you chose O but you didn’t feel like explaining yourself.
From then on you had multiple people trying to convince you to join their side. They wanted you to quit the game.
You protested you wanted to stay in, but no matter what you said they never let up.
You started to not like the people you were stuck with.
Part of the reason was they treated you like a baby, some of them even coddled you.
It was nice a first, people gave you some of their food, they lended their protection to you.
But in the end it became much more annoying rather than loving.
Around the second game is when things got really bad.
People all around you offering for you to join their team, you walked around until you got pulled onto Thanos team.
You were in charge or spinning top and all though you were good you could barely focus with all the people yelling.
You managed but not before yelling some very unkind words.
After the games you had people practically swarming you, you wanted to cry and throw up all at the same time.
Then a miracle happened, player 001 pulled you out of the crowd.
Yelling at them all while holding you close to himself.
He held you close for a while, it got kinda awkward after the first 20 minutes.
It was a very overwhelming experience being in the game, along with the killing games, people were starting to seriously scare you.
I mean they were having full on arguments over you. It was kinda insane.
Even the guards treated you differently, they gave you the occasional head pat after a game, they slipped you extra food, and no matter what time it was they always let you use the restroom.
It was nice to have so many people care about you but care becomes smothering after a while.
You started becoming the apple of everyone’s eye, everyone was just so 𝙹đ™Șđ™›đ™›đ™€đ™˜đ™–đ™©đ™žđ™Łđ™œ.
A/n: I hoped you liked this one, I love u all so much bye bye✌('ω')✌
189 notes · View notes
uncle-fruity · 2 days ago
Text
Decided to read the article. I absolutely believe that what the author calls "male flight" has some validity to it, but it doesn't seem to be a reason men have given themselves, and it seems reductive to put the decline of men pursuing education solely on misogyny. Not to say that misogyny isn't a factor, because I agree that the article's thesis lines up with historical trends of devaluing anything seen as "feminine" work, and I know enough sexist men to know that many do have an aversion to being in anything they consider women's spaces. I'm not sure that I fully agree that the main reason men aren't pursuing education is the kind of direct misogyny described in the article, but I also don't have any evidence to the contrary lined up, and it's certainly within the realm of possibility.
Early in the article, the author lists out other reasons that have been cited to partially explain the decline in men's enrollment:
Tumblr media
[Image Transcript: Other reasons I came across while researching for this article include:
-- Men can make more money without a college degree than women can, so women need college more.
-- Higher rates of alcohol, drug use, gangs and prison for boys negate college as a viable option.
-- Colleges are usually left-leaning, so right-leaning students increasingly don't feel comfortable there. And more men than women lean right.
-- Men join the military more than women.
-- A man will sometimes have to provide for wife/kids before he can finish college. /End transcript.]
Unfortunately, the author did not give citations for any of those claims, nor did she spend much time explaining why she thought these reasons weren't major factors -- or not as notable as the reason she gives: the rise of women in higher education. It would have been nice to see where that information was coming from. Particularly the point about higher drug and prison rates would be nice to have some context for. To be fair, there is a section just before the part that I cited that does give some sources for some of the other reasons people have attributed to the decline of male enrollment.
And, actually, to be extra fair, I'm gonna post that part as well, because it might be helpful. So this is the part directly before the passage I just cited:
Tumblr media
[Image transcript: The Pew Research Center has found that boys are more likely to think they don’t need a degree for the jobs they want, and when they do enroll in college, work opportunities lure them away.
Ruth Simmons, president of A&M University thinks “the problem is the way we treat our boys in k-12. They turn away from school because of the negative messages they get at school
 Behavior that is rewarded for boys doesn’t fit well with good student behavior.”
Another college president, Donald Ruff believes it boils down to money. “Honestly I think it’s the sticker shock. To see $100,000 that’s daunting.” /End transcript.]
I have little to add about this passage, I just thought it would be helpful to include.
The author also does not seem to consider race in her argument beyond drawing parallels between white flight and male flight. As far as I could tell, this article gives few statistics about the races involved. Is the influx of women predominantly white or predominantly non-white? When we talk about men not enrolling, is there any racial element being considered -- are non-white men enrolling at higher or lower rates than they used to? Are we talking primarily white men not enrolling, or is this male flight evenly distributed across racial demographics? How do these demographics play out? Because, to me, it seems like misogyny and racism could both be at play here. If more black women than ever are going to college, it is likely that male flight is in tandem with white flight, but to actually make that claim with any amount of credibility, we would need more information, which the article does not provide/is not focused on.
To be clear, I do not have the answers to those questions. I am merely speculating. This is one of those cases where I'd need to spend more time looking at other sources to get a broader view of the issue, including the sources the author included, the ones she used to support her claims, and the Freakonomics episode she mentions.
On that note, there's this interesting passage, which comes off as sorta... idk... I don't have the exact words for it. Undermining her own point a little? I'll analyze this feeling I have more after the image transcript. (Also, the "they" that is mentioned at the beginning of this passage is referring to the Freakonomics podcast.)
Tumblr media
[Image transcript: They mentioned that there is one subset of men who out-enroll women. Which subset might that be?
Gay men.
While only 36 percent of US adults have bachelor’s degrees, 52% of gay men do.
"If America's gay men formed their own country, it would be the world's most highly educated by far.” - Joel Mittleman
At the Joel Mittleman quote in the podcast, I leaned forward
yes
 surely now we will wonder why only straight men aren’t attending college
 yes? /End transcript]
I feel like this passage gives a passing glance at intersectionality and then just hand waves it away to prove something about straight men. It just strikes me as something that should be explored more if the argument you're making is that men are leaving for misogynistic reasons. Because we should all know by now that gay men are perfectly capable of being misogynistic and that there are definitely gay men who don't want to share spaces with women. Is it that gay men overall tend to be more in touch with or comfortable with femininity, and are therefore less deterred by the presence of women in the classroom? I guess I'm honestly just confused as to how gay men factor into this conversation and why this deviance from the overall trend is not explored. It seems extremely relevant to the conversation?
Also, the article up to this point has been saying that men -- as a general category -- are choosing not to go to college. Is it true that the article is talking about straight men only, as this portion seems to imply? Are we considering gay men as somehow not men or unaffiliated with the rates that men are choosing college? Does the presence of more gay men in academia also mean that this "male flight" is also in part due to homophobia, or is homophobia not being considered as a factor the same way race doesn't seem to have been factored in?
Finally, how do trans men factor into this conversation? Were they counted as women or men? Were they considered at all? If they were, that certainly is not represented here.
So, I guess my overall impression is that this is an interesting and compelling thesis, but the specifics are missing in a way that makes the author's argument fall flat. I think this article would really benefit from a more intersectional approach. I also believe, as with all social issues like this, that the problem is never just one thing, but a combination of things, all of which need to be considered to address the underlying systemic issues that get us to this point. I absolutely believe the author is on to a big part of the problem, but I think her scope is limited and she needs a more solid foundation of information to build her argument on.
Idk. Read the article for yourself and see how it hits.
Tumblr media
Why aren't we talking about the real reason male college enrollment is dropping? (Celeste Davis, Oct 6 2024)
"White flight is a term that describes how white people move out of neighborhoods when more people of color move in.
White flight is especially common when minority populations become the majority. That neighborhood then declines in value.
Male flight describes a similar phenomenon when large numbers of females enter a profession, group, hobby or industry—the men leave. That industry is then devalued.
Take veterinary school for example:
In 1969 almost all veterinary students were male at 89%.
By 1987, male enrollment was equal to female at 50%.
By 2009, male enrollment in veterinary schools had plummeted to 22.4%
A sociologist studying gender in veterinary schools, Dr. Anne Lincoln says that in an attempt to describe this drastic drop in male enrollment, many keep pointing to financial reasons like the debt-to-income ratio or the high cost of schooling.
But Lincoln’s research found that “men and women are equally affected by tuition and salaries.”
Her research shows that the reason fewer men are enrolling in veterinary school boils down to one factor: the number of women in the classroom.
For every 1% increase in the proportion of women in the student body, 1.7 fewer men applied.
One more woman applying was a greater deterrent than $1000 in extra tuition! (
)
Since males had dominated these professions for centuries, you would think they would leave slowly, hesitantly or maybe linger at 40%, 35%, 30%, but that’s not what happens.
Once the tipping point reaches majority female- the men flee. And boy do they flee!
It’s a slippery slope. When the number of women hits 60% the men who are there make a swift exit and other men stop joining.
Morty Schapiro, economist and former president of Northwestern University has noticed this trend when studying college enrollment numbers across universities:
“There’s a cliff you fall off once you become 60/40 female/male. It then becomes exponentially more difficult to recruit men.”
Now we’ve reached that 60% point of no return for colleges.
As we’ve seen with teachers, nurses and interior design, once an institution is majority female, the public perception of its value plummets.
Scanning through Reddit and Quora threads, many men seem to be in agreement - college is stupid and unnecessary.
A waste of time and money. You’re much better off going into the trades, a tech boot camp or becoming an entrepreneur. No need for college. (
)
When mostly men went to college? Prestigious. Aspirational. Important.
Now that mostly women go to college? Unnecessary. De-valued. A bad choice. (
)
School is now feminine. College is feminine. And rule #1 if you want to safely navigate this world as a man? Avoid the feminine.
But we don’t seem to want to talk about that."
11K notes · View notes
notrebdomine · 2 days ago
Text
Eric Harris medication
âŠč୚୧âŠč
As most people know, Eric was on Luvox, but before Luvox he took Zoloft. "In a visit to his general physician, Eric's medical records indicate "possible depression" and "mild/ minimal depressive symptoms." In small words, both (Luvox and Zoloft) are SSRI, or "selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor." It increases the amount of serotonin, sometimes called the "feel good" chemical, in the brain.
Tumblr media
The first Luvox prescription listed by Breggin comes on April 25, 1998 for twenty-five milligrams. It was doubled to fifty milligrams just over a month later, and doubled again another month later, in early July. Breggin writes that three and a half months before Columbine, the prescriptions indicate Eric's dose was increased. Breggin also writes that on March 13, 1999, just over one month before Columbine, the medical record notes, "It's 'OK' to increase the dose to 200 mg. per day."
âŠč୚୧âŠč
His point of view about taking medication
Eric would go through periods of taking his medication and going off of it. Below is a journal entry that he wrote in regards to his thoughts on being put on medication.
"My doctor wants to put me on medication to stop thinking about so many things and to stop getting angry. well, I think that anyone who doesn't think like me is just bullshitting themselves. try it sometime if you think you are worthy, which you probably will you little shits, drop all your beliefs and views and ideas that have been burned into your head and try to think about why your here. but I bet most of you fuckers cant even think that deep, so that is why you must die. how dare you think that I and you are part of the same species when we are sooooooo different. you aren't human you are a Robot. you don't take advantage of your capabilities given to you at birth. you just drop them and hop onto the boat and head down the stream of life with all the other fuckers of your type. well god damnit I wont be a part of it! I have thought to much, realized to much, found out to much, and I am to self aware to just stop what am thinking and go back to society because what I do and think isn't "right" or "morally accepted" NO, NO, NO, God Fucking damnit NO! I will sooner die than betray my own thoughts. but before I leave this worthless place, I will kill who ever I deem unfit."
Original from his journal, page #6 ↮
Tumblr media
In reality, many of Eric's views were a result of his mental health problems, so in that way, he was right that the medication may change his views, but failed to see that it could be a good thing. He also says in one of his personal tapes, "When I don't take my medication it makes me angry. It's working."
He had some problems with the military concerning his status of medication as well, lying about or simply not mentioning his taking of anti-depressants to his recruiter during his medical examination.
196 notes · View notes
figthoughts · 1 day ago
Note
How do you think SB and Dean would react to reader safewording? I have some sort of idea for Dean, but with SB? Very mixed tbh
omg i have many thoughts !! allow me to ramble thank u ! (soldier boy’s part is a little ehhhh, just read with caution if ur sensitive to dubcon type scenarios!) 18+ à­­ ˚. ᔎᔎ
Tumblr media
— dean winchester ËšïœĄâ‹†à­šà­§Ëš
dean loves sex. he’s made that abundantly clear throughout your relationship. anytime he can get his hands on you, he will. and so naturally, you’ve spent time learning each other’s bodies, kinks, likes ‘n dislikes and everything in between. you’re entirely comfortable together.
so one day when you suddenly blurt out your safe word, dean pauses, his eyes flickering up to meet yours — to check in with you.
“baby, you okay? you wanna stop?” his words are gentle and full of love, concern splashed across his features.
his face softens while he nods along to your quiet explanation, pulling out/away from whatever he’d been doing to you. he settles down beside you, watching you as if you’re about to shatter into a million pieces.
“s’okay, sweetheart. we can stop. you don’t need an excuse. if you’re not feeling up to it, it’s not a big deal. we can just cuddle if you want,” he shrugs with a reassuring expression on his face, “you look like you need a hug, yeah? c’mere.”
dean opens his arms for you, letting you crawl against his chest. he nuzzles his chin into the top of your head, holding you snug against him, his hand rubbing down your back in a soothing motion.
“thank you for letting me know, baby,” he murmurs against your hair, leaving a soft kiss. he’s just happy you feel safe enough to ask him to stop whenever you need.
— soldier boy [ben] ËšïœĄâ‹†à­šà­§Ëš
i can’t decide between two ideas, so i’m giving you both !!
ben—your ben—the world’s strongest man who, simultaneously, is the world’s softest man the second he’s got his sweet little lady between his sheets.
there’s no denying he fucks like a pornstar on speed. it’s sometimes frightening how long he can keep at it — fucking you until you’re spent and boneless, blissed out and overstimulated from your umpteenth orgasm. he loves when you’re unable to form words, just soft incoherent babbles that force a grin to spread across his face as he plows into you with a superhuman force.
he loves going over the top to please you. and so it’s no surprise when you mumble out your safe word through warm salty tears, tired and unable to take any more of what he’s giving you. he slows down, meeting your gaze with his own. “what’s the matter? had enough, my pretty lady?”
ben knows sex with him can be a lot, and considering you’re just a sweet little doll, he knows it’s up to you to call it when you’ve had enough — cause if it were up to ben, you’d never leave his damn bed.
your mumbled pleas earn a nod in return from ben, “alright, babygirl. s’not a problem. here—” he pulls himself away from you, “i’ll run you a bath, yeah?”
you watch him get up and start heading to the bathroom, but not before he turns around, throwing you a cheeky wink, “i think that might’ve been a new record for ya, doll.”
alternatively
 ✧ ˚  ·    .
ben’s rough. he’s rough around the edges. you know it. he knows it. everyone he’s ever met knows it. but he doesn’t just look rough or talk rough — he fucks rough.
you’re no stranger to the supe and how he bends you in half, like he’s unafraid of breaking you with his strength and brute force. for the most part, you take it like a good little thing, letting him break you down into nothing, but a whimpering little mess below him. and he loves it, ruining women while he doesn’t even break a sweat.
so when he mentions going a little further—adding a few new things to your nightly affairs—you agree, but only with the clear understanding that you get a safe word.
and ben agrees. i mean, anything to get his babydoll back into his bed, right?
so when he’s got you in half, your limbs flailing around in the air, pleading for him to stop, he simply doesn’t. he knows you know your safe word, and he hasn’t heard it leave your sweet little mouth yet. so he continues on, tiring out your sore body beyond belief — he’s really getting his kicks from seeing you all fucked out and begging like your life depends on it.
“look at you, damn slut. you like this, don’t you?” he grunts out, watching you sob and try to free yourself from his restraints. your eyes are filled to the brim with tears, your emotions clear on your face. he loves that you’re taking it for him — being a good ol’ little thing for him.
so it’s much to his surprise when you sob out your safe word. he’s a little bewildered to say the least. his brows pinch together, but he doesn’t slow down, not one bit.
his thrusts get harder, his eyes locked on your pleading little face. “just give me a damn minute. i’m close,” he mutters, his breath a little laboured, as if seeing you like this is the driving factor pushing him to the edge.
it doesn’t take long for him to finish, and when he does, he’s panting with the stupidest grin on his face. he slumps down on top of you, invading your space, “jesus, that was fuckin’ something, hey? you liked that, my sweet little thing?”
all you can do is sniffle and try to catch your breath while his weight crushes you. he presses a kiss to your cheek and he hears your breath hitch. and he knows he’s got you exactly where he wants — in the palm of his fucking hand.
Tumblr media
A/N: this was soooo fun to type up !!! i love scenario requests sm (feel free to send me more) !!!!!! also first time writing something a lil darker w the dubcon part !!! what do we thinkkkkk? <3
feedback and reblogs are appreciated! thank uuu!
✩ taglist cause why not: @chevroletdean @fitxgrld @jasvtsc @bluestrd @1-imbroglio @titsout4jackles @faithfulsofi @tortureddarkstar @abellmunsonmovie @legalmente-loca @theoneandonlystonedspiderman420 @manicjk @aileenunfiltered @minettacreekk @jackleslvr @winchester-whiskey @emeraldcrs @freyabear @floralscented @cosmopolitan-thedrink @jwritestuff @suhnisideup @spookyysinsanity @kimxwinchester @bleuatlas @deansbbyx @angelicjackles @deansbeer @artemys-ackles @bluemerakis @misatxox @star-yawnznn @ambiguous-avery @sl33pylilbunny @k-slla @deanswidow @psychicnatural @ghostlyaccurate
↑ comment to be added!
232 notes · View notes
the-witty-pen-name · 21 hours ago
Text
The Love Triangle from Hell (1)
Steve Harrington x F!Reader / Eddie Munson x F!Reader
Synopsis: Nancy is with Jonathan; Steve is still in love with Nancy; You're in love with Steve; Eddie's in love with you; Robin just wanted to have a movie night but everyone is making it weird.
Word Count: 3.4k
Warnings: messy messy feelings; unrequited love; cursing; arguments; crying; angst angst angsty angst; drinking; Robin literally just trying to live her life but her friends are all idiots
A/N: I'm going to let y'all decide who our reader ends up with for this one- please let me know who you think our reader should pick! I think this will be another 5 part series. Please let me know what you think! Comments and reblogs and hitting up my asks are always so so so appreciated.
This series with be 18+ in later chapters MINORS DNI
Tumblr media
It was always Nancy. No matter what it always came back to Nancy. It happened over and over and over like a broken record. Like a glutton for punishment, you always went back for more thinking to yourself this time it’s going to be different. Squished on the lumpy loveseat with Robin, you watch Steve as he watches Nancy. You were pathetic and you knew it. Hopelessly in love with someone who’d never in a million years look at you the way he’s looking at her.
Eddie sits on the floor between your legs with his back rested against the front of the couch as you aimlessly braid his hair. You run your fingers through his hair, carefully navigating through the tangles. You pull strains and weave them together without needing to think about it- you’ve done it a million times before. Eddie would let you do whatever you wanted, he loved the feeling of your hands in his hair. He’d lean his head back as far as he could manage, and shoot you an upside down smile. It always made you giggle before you would use your palm to gently put his head back into place. 
It was quite a sight for Robin, like the most fucked daytime drama never written, if she knew how to read the room and pick up on the very obvious clues before her. Steve, her platonic soulmate and best friend, pining over his ex-girlfriend while you, her other best friend, pine over Steve and all the while Eddie, Steve’s roommate and your other best friend, pines over you. It was enough to make her sick. All the while, Nancy is completely oblivious as she checks her watch, waiting expectantly for Jonathan- her actual boyfriend- to arrive. Despite the mess before her, Robin was none the wiser. 
She knew Steve was still hung up on Nancy, because he never shut up about her during their shifts. However, you felt you kept your lovesick crush on Steve under pretty good wraps. Unfortunately, Eddie was so preoccupied with you that he felt it every time your eyes were on Steve or he’d witnessed all the small things you’d do that convinced him you actually liked Steve. 
He’d watch as you couldn’t make eye contact with Steve, looking everywhere but him when he spoke. He’d watch the way you’d steal glances at him when you thought no one else was looking. He’d see the way you’d take a deep breath to compose yourself when you’d see Steve looking at Nancy. The same way you’d break your own heart looking around for Steve, he’d be doing the same looking at you watching him. 
You’d watched one too many movies where the guy realizes the right girl all along was his best friend. You thought if you were patient, Steve would realize he’d been in love with you the whole time and he never realized it. If you’re there for him in his times of heartbreak, he’d see that you’re so much better for him than anyone else. He’d see you, really see you, and know you were the one who was always there. 
“This movie doesn’t make any sense,” Robin said suddenly before reaching for the bowl of popcorn at the coffee table.
“Anthony Michael Hall is making a robot girlfriend because he can’t get girls,” Steve explains, coming off a little perturbed that Robin was talking during the movie again. 
“They could’ve just asked out a couple of more girls- they didn’t need to let their end all be all be two girls with boyfriends,” she continues and Steve scoffs. He couldn’t believe he was really about to have a debate on realism with Robin right now over fucking Weird Science. 
“This’ll actually happen one day,” Eddie muses and is met with four heads whipping around to give him the same weird look. “You’re telling me that like fifty years from now, no one will have this figured out? AV geeks are desperate enough- Ow!” You’d hit him playfully on the back of the head. 
“You’re not one to criticize anyone for being desperate, Munson,” Steve chuckles and Eddie promptly flips him off. “You don’t exactly have them lining up for you either.”
“It’s been a pretty dry few years yourself King Steve,” Eddie mocks, and you see Steve crack his knuckles nervously, hating the conversation going down this road. No one meant for it to happen, but now you’re all wrapped up reflecting in your own loneliness that the mood of the evening was almost completely dampened. 
“Can you guys be quiet,” Nancy chastises, “Some of us are trying to actually watch the movie.”
“You cannot be serious?” Robin giggles, “It’s a stupid movie, Nance.” 
The night took a weird shift. Jonathan did eventually stroll in and Nancy was understandably hurt that he was so late. He pulled a kitchen chair over to sit next to where Nancy sat but she promptly decided to ignore him, silently stewing instead of causing a scene. Steve recoiled back into his own head- Eddie’s King Steve comment affecting him more than he thought it would. He watched Anthony Michael Hall and kept wondering if this would be his fate- no bitches. Had he really been that guy to have peaked in high school and then is destined to end up alone?
Steve’s comment towards Eddie made him also get lost in his own stream of self deprecating thoughts. He knew Steve was joking- but there was truth to it that made it sting. Eddie didn’t have a lot of experience with girls, most girls- hell including the one he was actually in love with- wanted really nothing to do with him. He wasn’t that guy. Girls didn’t look at him like that like they looked at Steve- how you looked at Steve. It made him jealous and sad and made him feel so painstakingly lonely despite being in a room full of his closest friends as you played with his hair. He could scream. 
And as usual, you preoccupied yourself with Steve- thinking about what Steve could be thinking about or watching the way Steve anxiously rubbed his palms against his jeans. Was Steve thinking about Nancy? Maybe, just maybe, you could catch him looking at you, even if just once. Maybe Steve would get up and go to the kitchen, and it could be an opening for you to check in with him since he’s seemed off tonight. You felt hopeless. 
Robin just assumed most people were quiet because they genuinely were watching the movie, but she realized something was wrong when she was the only person laughing. It couldn’t be that she was the only one who wanted to crack jokes or laugh at this godforsaken movie. She eventually caught on to something brewing in the air amongst her friends and it was incredibly unsettling. 
“GOD! I can’t take it anymore!” She exclaims, and everyone jumps. “What is wrong with everybody tonight? You all are acting so effing weird and I can’t stand it.” 
“Everyone’s fine, Robin,” you offer, trying to diffuse the tension. She shooks you a look. A “do you think I’m fucking stupid” look that could kill. Fair enough, you think to yourself. 
“Clearly something is wrong,” she reiterates. Annoyed with Nancy, Jonathan takes the bait and casts the first stone. 
“I don’t know,” Jonathan muses, looking at Nancy before letting out his irritation, “Might have to do with the fact you hang around with your ex all the time- and it’s clearly obvious he still has feelings for you.” 
Nancy gasps, offended that Jonathan would bring a fight that they’d had before into the room for everyone to comment on. Jonathan knew how Steve felt, and Nancy’s refusal to acknowledge his concerns on numerous occasions has finally made Jonathan hit his breaking point. He needed her to realize that he wasn’t jealous of Steve- but Steve was jealous of him. Nancy denied that Steve still held feelings for her. She was actually oblivious. 
“Steve and I are just friends!” Nancy insists, “I have told you that and told you that! It’s like you don’t trust me!”
“I don’t trust him!” Jonathan emphasizes. “Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, he still likes you and you still keep hanging around with him when you’re supposed to be with me, Nance.”
“I am with you! I’m your girlfriend, not his,” she snaps. “Steve, come on, please tell him he’s being ridiculous.” 
Most unfortunately, Steve stutters. He hesitates and fumbles, and couldn’t lie fast enough. The pregnant seconds where he’s at a loss for words tells Jonathan everything he needs to know. It doesn’t feel good to know he was right. 
“Sounds about right,” Jonathan scoffs.
“It’s not her fault-” Steve tried to interject. 
“Stay out of it Steve,” Jonathan sighs, “please.”
This fight was not about Steve, and everyone knew it. This was about Jonathan, and the way he hurt when Nancy dismissed his feelings. It was about how she didn’t take his concerns seriously or ever was willing to talk about it. He was sick of being dismissed as paranoid or jealous. He knew Nancy had no idea how Steve felt, but it wasn’t an excuse to inadvertently gaslight him when he knew something felt off. 
“I’m going home,” Nancy says, sitting up suddenly in hopes of making a swift exit to save her pride. 
“Nope!” Robin interjects, “We aren’t done. I’m not letting any of you leave until all of it is out in the open. I can’t go on like this. You guys are my best friends and we are working all of this shit out.” She takes a steady breath and Nancy surprisingly sits back down calmly. “So props to Jonathan for getting the ball rolling,” Robin quips, “let’s actually keep talking things out, yeah?”
“Steve?” Nancy looks at him, and she looks hurt. She feels so betrayed- like all of the times they’ve spent together as friends has been a lie. A ruse to win her back- she feels lied to and like she’s simultaneously lost a friend in the same breath. It guts her. She’s too stunned to even know what to say. 
Steve keeps his head down, too ashamed to look at anyone. He holds his head in his hands. You watch him intently, you absorb all his hurt like a sponge. You keep your gaze on him, wanting to reach out and comfort him. You look like a puppy who's been hit on the nose with a newspaper and Eddie scoffs. 
“Something you’d like to share with the class, Munson?” Robin turns, picking up on Eddie’s disgust. He shakes his head and avoids her knowing gaze. Fuck it, he thinks to himself. 
“I’m fucking pissed,” Eddie announces, standing up. The braid you were in the process of making slowly unravels as he moves. He looks to you and then to Steve. “I’m not even pissed at anyone, I’m just stewing in my own self-hatred because I’m in love with her.” Eddie points to you dramatically, not even realizing how much he’s revealing as his emotions get the best of him. “But she’s so in love with you,” Eddie points a finger at Steve, “That she doesn’t even notice me.”
“I don’t even blame anyone- of course you love Steve, you know? It just fucking sucks because I watch you and you’re always watching him and you keep hoping he’s going to see you and he never does. Meanwhile, I’m so in love with you that it physically hurts and I can never tell you because you’re my best friend and Steve is my best friend. And if you like her back, Steve, you should go for it. I can’t even put myself out there cause scenario one, I lose you,” Eddie gestures to you. “Scenario two- Steve gets his head out of his ass and you two finally get together. I lose both of you, because I can’t put myself through watching someone I’m in love with be with someone else. Or scenario three- you and I do get together and I’m all in- I swear to god, I would be all fucking in. But would you ever even love me as much as you’ve loved him? I don’t know.” 
It’s your turn to be stunned. For the first time, Steve’s looking at you and it’s not at all what you hoped it would be. You recognize the look in his eye, it’s the same way Nancy was just looking at him. Pity. You know then and there that Steve never once thought about you the way you hoped he secretly did. It was all made up in your head. Eddie looks defeated, and mortified all at the same time. He shocked himself at his outburst. He’d always been one for dramatics but never at your expense. He feels so guilt ridden that he could shrivel up and let the world swallow him whole. 
“I, uh, need to get some air,” you say. You grab your jacket from the hook and slide on your shoes in one fluid motion. “I’ll be back,” you say quickly, slamming the door behind you as you left Eddie and Steve’s apartment. You can’t help as the tears stream down your face uncontrollably. It’s one of those cries where it’s so hard you can’t even make noise as it takes all of your breath away. You’re practically doubled over in the midst of a panic attack when Eddie finds you leaning against the building. 
“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he says earnestly, “That was so fucked up. I am so, so sorry. That wasn’t fair to you, that was such a shitty thing for me to say.” 
You manage to nod to let him know you heard him, but you’re blubbering and you’re still struggling to get your breath back. Hiccuped breaths finally catch up to you and you feel your lungs slowly begin to refill with air. The night’s cold air helps to clear your sinuses in one big breath. You wipe your face with the sleeves of your jacket. You can’t bring yourself to look at him just yet. 
“Steve is so lucky,” Eddie says after another few moments of silence. “To be loved by you?” He chuckles, taking a lean on the wall next to you. “Lucky bastard,” he jokes, and you manage a forced smile through the tears. “Must be the best damn thing in the whole world and he doesn’t even realize it,” he continues more seriously. “Well, until now, when I ruined everything,” he finalizes, sheepishly. 
“I’m sorry I didn’t realize it either,” you mumble, “God, what Steve was doing to me- I was doing to you? Fuck.” 
“Fucked up, right?” he teases. “How’s it feel, heartbreaker?”
“Really, really shitty,” you settle on and he laughs. 
“Yup,” he agrees, making a pop sound at the end. “Really, really shitty. Indeed.” 
“God, I wasted so much fucking time,” you admit to yourself. 
“I didn’t mean it,” he says softly, helping fix the collar of your jacket. It was tucked in because you put it on so fast and didn’t bother to fix it. “That I wouldn’t be able to trust you with Steve or whatever if we hypothetically got together or whatever- it was just a really, really ugly insecurity that bubbled up. If after this all blows over and you don’t completely hate my guts, and maybe by some miracle you wanted to give us a chance, I wouldn’t hold your feelings for Steve over you like that.” 
“Did you mean it that I’d lose you?” you ask, looking to him. He shakes his head. 
“I was talking out of my ass,” he admits, “I was emotional and just letting my frustration get the better of me. I won’t stop being your friend if you don’t like me back.”
“I’ve been doing that already,” he jokes and you swat his arm. 
“Not funny,” you grumble, but you can’t find it in you to actually be upset. 
“I don’t want an answer from you now,” he says, shifting back to a serious tone, but you can hear how nervous he is. “But if and when you get over Steve, and you realize I’m not that bad to look at- maybe you and I could go out sometime. I’m putting the ball in your court. I just want you to be happy. If you end up with Steve, I’m your best man. You end up with me, I’ll work my hardest every damn day to make you so fucking happy. No matter what, I will be your friend. You aren’t losing me.”
“Thank you,” you smile, and you pull him into a hug. You finally start to feel okay again. You feel like you could get over Steve, but then you remember that everyone inside is waiting for you- including Steve. The anxiety begins to stir and you can’t imagine facing everyone now after all of this. 
“I got you,” Eddie whispers, taking your hand, “We’ll go back together.” 
Eddie’s held your hand a million times before, but it wasn’t until now that you realize how well your hand fits in his. You shake your head to erase the thought from your mind for now and try to relax. The walk back up to the apartment is much longer than it’s ever felt before.
No one says anything when you both come back. You and Eddie kick off your shoes and he helps you take your jacket off. You sniffle, and quickly take your seat back on the loveseat. Eddie slips into the kitchen and grabs a six pack from the fridge. He holds it up like a fish he’s just caught triumphantly. 
“I think we all need one, yeah?” He jokes and he diffuses the tension as everyone agrees in tandem. He pulls them apart from the plastic ring, tossing them out. He throws you a wink when he tosses you yours and you can’t help but smile. 
“Can I just say,” Robin says, “Had I known you all were upset about actually serious stuff- I wouldn’t have opened this can of worms. I thought you were just pissed at each other about the comments about not getting laid.”
Nancy and Jonathan must have made up while you were outside because instead of separate seats, Jonathan sat on the living room chair and Nancy was perched on his lap. Steve was just watching you. Suddenly, it didn’t matter that Nancy was there. He was fixated on looking at you. He was taking in everything about you like he was looking at you, really looking at you for the first time. 
Fuck, if you weren’t beautiful, Steve thinks. He always knew you were, but he never really thought about it until now. Even after crying, you just look so pretty. He’s pained knowing he’s caused you so much pain. He looks to Eddie and feels jealousy rise irrationally. He’s jealous of Eddie for realizing how perfect you were before he did. It’s so fucking petty and he knows it. Eddie’s had all this time to adore you, while he’s squandered it following around Nancy like a simp. He’s loved you and lost you in the same fucking night.
“Let’s keep going,” Eddie jokes, trying to make light of the situation, “Air out more grievances- Buckley, you need new shoes. Those fucking chucks are abhorrent- please, get new ones. They are why your back hurts all the time.” 
“Okay, Mr. Same White Reeboks Since Senior Year,” she taunts, feigning offense to his jab. “Keep my converse out of your mouth!”
“I have boots now,” he says, pointing to the leather boots by the door. “Much more metal.” 
“Cause it’s fucking January, Eddie,” Robin says with a laugh, “Of course you’re wearing fucking boots.”
“Yet you strolled into my house wearing Converse,” he says walking over the the floor and pointing at Robin’s worse for wear Chuck Taylors. “It was snowing this morning, Robin! Please, as your friend- please let ME get you new shoes.”
“You can pry those shoes off of me when I’m dead,” she raises her voice. The lighthearted air has returned to the evening. It felt like it had been salvaged for now. Everyone seemed to be feeling better, except Steve. As the world began to pick up again, he was paralyzed- burdened with the knowledge of your feelings for him and knowing he might be too late to do anything about it. Was it?
180 notes · View notes
thetadispatcher · 1 day ago
Text
The bear was perfectly content with just receiving physical affection, and she'd learned only to get excited at the word treat if G said it. So the others never had to worry about her barreling them over if they used the word well she was nearby.
"That's one way to put it, yes." Dan nodded, there was more that went into installing a stomach into an android so they could actually make use of the food they ate, but he wasn't about to bore them with the technical side of things.
"It was the dinner we had made for Christmas. The visiting family was a little confused why I had a place at the table, but they didn't say anything, as I believe they thought it was all Peter's doing. And questioning Peter on his reasoning rarely gets any results, usually the response is 'I don't know', or 'I just wanted to.'" He felt anyone who witnessed the unusually kind treatment Dan received just chalked it up to Peter's doing. So it made it a lot easier for his parents to get away with doing it as well, since everyone would think they were doing it as to not upset their son.
"Although the first food I was ever offered was a chocolate chip cookie. Peter had bought it from a vendor with the money left over from purchasing me, he thought I needed food to survive too." Dan chuckled quietly, although Peter's choice in what to feed what he thought was a starving android wasn't the best, it was still a kind gesture.
Dan glanced at Bishop, his LED started flashing yellow as he reviewed the information he'd accidentally gotten from touching Strasky. "I suppose that's a good place to start..." He felt he might as well use what he learned of the other Johan Ross and his AI, and see what applied to the Johan he knew and his android. The android was a prototype his parents got from working at Cyberlife, so his model might be called the WAU as it would have no official label yet.
The PL600 glanced at the human in his arm who gave him a lopsided smile in response. "It is. After hearing so many other androids speak of being mistreated by those they thought were family, I'm glad I can say that never happened." He was thankful he didn't have to experience the pain and suffering other androids had at the hands of their owners, he felt sorry for them still, but at least he could tell them that not all humans were terrible. He could give them proof that there was hope for them, they just had to find the right humans who'd accept them as part of the family like he had been.
"Now I just need this one to stop almost dying on me." He gently flicked the human's forehead, getting a glare in return that held no weight as it was clear Peter was trying hard not to smile at the android. "Hearing him call my name in that crowd of androids had to be the happiest I ever felt, then to see he'd lost an eye after the happiness stopped clouding my mind... I can say it felt like my heart sank. Realizing that I could've actually lost him without even getting to say goodbye, that's not something I want to feel again." He fluffed up the man's wild hair, looking at him with a fondness that made it clear how much of an impact the human had made on him.
"Someone's hogging the treats. Heck." Rook said, still petting BeeBee, "And I didn't even bring any snacks along."
It normally wouldn't be an issue to go retrieve some, but she had to mind her own energy levels while they were out there.
"So you can just go out and buy a stomach. That's sick!" And weird at the same time. But Dan's story showed there was at least some kind of reasonable use for the upgrade.
"What was your first meal?" Willow asked, while keeping an eye on Peter.
"I bet it was chips." Rook said.
"You should start with giving him a proper name. Perhaps you could call him WAU." Bishop said with a not so subtle grin that won him a skeptic look, including from his double, "What?"
The android didn't need to ask to know when Bishop was being a dick on purpose. He flexed his arm, as a reminder that he was now ready for another go if he didn't behave.
"Yes, sometimes love comes at the expense of our wardrobe." Willow agreed.
"Hey, I never bled all over you." Rook protested.
"But it's still worth it, isn't it?"
858 notes · View notes
rafeskai · 2 days ago
Text
Not Now, Not Ever | Rafe Cameron
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Summary: After a tense run-in with the cops, reader is injured while trying to escape, and Rafe reluctantly steps in to help. Though initially distant, Rafe's care and honesty break through the reader's defenses, revealing a vulnerability neither of them expected. As they face the aftermath together, the tension between them intensifies.
Pairings: Rafe Cameron x Pogue!Reader
Warnings: Profanities
Author's Note: Requested by Anon! 
Tumblr media
The thing about Rafe Cameron was that he always seemed untouchable. Born into privilege, raised on Figure Eight with a golden spoon in his mouth and a name that opened doors, he was the embodiment of everything you didn’t have. And yet, he was the storm you could never quite outrun.
You hadn’t meant to cross paths with him. Your world—chaotic, messy, and a little too close to the edge—didn’t belong anywhere near his. But life in Kildare had a way of throwing people together, whether they fit or not.
It started months ago, on a humid summer night at one of those wild beach parties you swore you’d stop going to. The sand was packed with bodies, the air heavy with the scent of salt and cheap beer. You were nursing your third drink of the night, watching the waves crash against the shore, when Rafe stumbled into your line of sight.
He looked like trouble—disheveled blond hair, a cocky smirk that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and an energy that screamed recklessness. You’d heard the stories about him, the whispered warnings. Stay away from Rafe Cameron. He’s bad news.
You should have listened.
But when his sharp blue eyes locked onto yours across the bonfire, something shifted. It wasn’t a spark; it was a collision—two opposing forces drawn together by some unseen magnetism. He swaggered over, drink in hand, and before you knew it, you were trading barbs and sidelong glances, the tension between you electric.
“You don’t belong here,” he’d said, his tone teasing but laced with something darker.
“And you do?” you shot back, refusing to back down.
That was the first of many encounters. Somehow, despite your better judgment, you kept running into him. At parties, in the middle of town, even at the gas station late one night when you were buying snacks to fuel another all-night gaming session.
The dynamic between you was always the same: sharp words and stolen glances, a push and pull that left you dizzy. He got under your skin in a way no one else could, peeling back your defenses with a smirk or a well-placed comment. And yet, there was something about him—something vulnerable beneath the bravado—that kept you from walking away.
Rafe, for all his arrogance, seemed fascinated by you too. He’d ask questions he had no right to ask, dig into your life like he was trying to understand what made you tick. You never gave him straight answers, but you had a feeling he saw through your deflections.
One night, after too many drinks and an argument that left you both seething, he’d grabbed your arm as you turned to leave. “You think you’re better than me, don’t you?” he’d spat, his voice low and dangerous.
You’d stared at him, something raw and unspoken passing between you. “No,” you’d said quietly. “I think we’re both just really, really fucked up.”
He hadn’t let go right away. And in the silence that followed, something unspoken settled between you—a fragile truce, an understanding that you were both running from something neither of you wanted to name.
But your worlds were still too different. While you spent your days trying to keep your life from spiraling further out of control, Rafe seemed to thrive in the chaos. He was fire to your gasoline, and every time you got too close, you felt the heat.
You told yourself it didn’t mean anything. That the stolen glances and lingering touches were just part of the game he liked to play. But late at night, when the world was quiet and you were alone with your thoughts, you couldn’t stop wondering: What would happen if you let yourself fall?
You never got the chance to find out.
The months passed, and the tension between you remained unresolved. 
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
The moon hung low in the sky, its silvery glow casting eerie shadows across the tangled maze of Kildare’s backstreets. You had been here before—ducking between alleyways, heart pounding in your chest like a war drum, your breath coming in sharp, uneven gasps. But tonight was different. Tonight, you weren’t just out of luck. You were out of time.
The piercing sound of sirens grew louder, echoing through the quiet night, chasing you like a predator. The adrenaline pumping through your veins was the only thing keeping you upright. Your knees ached from the sprint, but you couldn’t stop now. Not when the alternative was cuffs and a mugshot.
You cursed under your breath, your mind racing as you turned a sharp corner and slipped into a narrow alleyway. It was dark and cramped, but it gave you a moment to catch your breath. Pressing your back against the cold, damp wall, you counted the seconds, hoping—praying—that the cops would pass you by.
Then, the unmistakable sound of heavy boots crunching gravel reached your ears.
Damn it.
Panic clawed at your chest as you scrambled to move, but in your haste, your foot caught on a loose brick. The ground rushed up to meet you, and you landed hard, pain flaring through your ankle and shoulder. You bit back a cry, clutching your injured arm as you tried to push yourself upright.
"Shit," you hissed, blinking back tears of frustration. There was no way you could outrun them now.
“Having fun down there?”
The voice came from above you, sharp and dripping with sarcasm. You looked up, squinting through the darkness, and your stomach sank when you recognized the silhouette. Rafe Cameron stood at the end of the alley, arms crossed, an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips. His piercing blue eyes practically glowed in the dim light, and the smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth made your blood boil.
Of all the people to stumble across you in this mess, it had to be him.
“Great. Just my luck,” you muttered, dragging yourself to your feet with a wince.
Rafe raised an eyebrow, his gaze flickering to your injured arm. “Looks like you’ve had a rough night.”
“No shit,” you snapped, brushing dirt off your jeans. You glanced nervously toward the street, where the sirens seemed to be growing louder. “And I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got places to be.”
He didn’t move. Just leaned against the wall, watching you with that infuriatingly smug expression. “You’re not going anywhere like that.”
“I’ll manage.” You tried to take a step, but your ankle buckled beneath you, sending you stumbling forward. Before you could hit the ground again, a strong hand shot out to catch you.
You stared up at him, startled, as he steadied you. His grip was firm but careful, and for a moment, his usual arrogance was replaced by something almost
 concerned.
“Careful,” he muttered, his voice quieter now. “You’re gonna hurt yourself worse.”
You jerked away from him, your cheeks burning. “I don’t need your help.”
“Right,” he drawled, letting his hands fall to his sides. “Because limping around on a busted ankle is working out so well for you.”
“Why do you care, anyway?” you shot back, glaring at him. “Last I checked, you weren’t exactly the Good Samaritan type.”
He shrugged, pulling the cigarette from his mouth and tucking it behind his ear. “Maybe I’m bored. Or maybe I just don’t feel like watching you get arrested.”
“Touching,” you said dryly, but the truth was, you were too exhausted—and too hurt—to argue. The pain in your ankle was unbearable, and your shoulder wasn’t much better. If you didn’t get out of here soon, you’d be spending the night in a cell.
Rafe must have seen the resignation in your eyes because he sighed, running a hand through his messy blond hair. “Come on. My truck’s around the corner. I’ll get you out of here.”
You hesitated, staring at him as if he’d grown a second head. “Why would you do that?”
His lips twitched, but it wasn’t quite a smile. “Let’s just say I’ve been in your shoes before.”
That wasn’t exactly comforting, but it wasn’t like you had any better options. With a reluctant nod, you let him drape your arm over his shoulders, his other hand sliding around your waist to support you. His touch was surprisingly gentle, and despite everything, a strange warmth spread through you.
“Don’t make me regret this,” he muttered as he helped you limp toward his truck.
By the time you reached it, the sirens had faded into the distance, leaving the night eerily quiet. Rafe opened the passenger door and helped you climb in, his hands lingering a moment longer than necessary before he stepped back.
As he started the engine, you leaned your head against the window, exhaustion overtaking you. You didn’t trust him—probably never would—but for now, you were grateful.
“Where are we going?” you asked softly.
“Somewhere safe,” he replied, his voice low and steady.
The rumble of the truck's engine filled the silence as Rafe drove through the dark, deserted streets. You fought to keep your eyes open, the adrenaline of the chase fading and leaving behind a bone-deep exhaustion. Every bump in the road sent a jolt of pain through your injured shoulder and ankle, but you bit your lip to keep from making a sound.
Rafe glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“I’m fine,” you muttered, though the sharp sting in your shoulder said otherwise.
“Right,” he said, unconvinced. “Well, we’re almost there.”
You didn’t bother asking where “there” was. Arguing with Rafe Cameron was like shouting into the void—completely pointless. Instead, you stared out the window, watching the familiar streets give way to the isolated backroads of Figure Eight. The trees grew thicker, their twisted branches reaching out like skeletal fingers, and the only light came from the truck’s headlights slicing through the darkness.
When Rafe finally pulled into the driveway of a small, secluded cabin, you frowned. “This
 isn’t your house.”
“Nope,” he said, cutting the engine. “It’s a place I use when I need to get away. No one’s gonna find us here.”
The way he said it sent a shiver down your spine, though you couldn’t tell if it was from fear or relief. You didn’t exactly trust him, but you were too tired to care. If this was some kind of elaborate trap, you’d deal with it later.
Rafe came around to your side of the truck and opened the door. “Come on,” he said, his tone softer than before. “Let’s get you inside.”
You didn’t argue as he helped you out of the truck, his arm steadying you as you limped toward the cabin. The interior was surprisingly cozy, with worn furniture and a stone fireplace that cast a warm glow across the room. It felt lived-in, though you doubted anyone else knew about this place.
“Sit,” Rafe ordered, guiding you to the couch. “I’ll grab the first aid kit.”
You sank into the cushions, wincing as the movement jostled your shoulder. The pain was worse now, no longer dulled by the adrenaline. When Rafe returned, he carried a small, battered kit and a bottle of water. He crouched in front of you, his expression unreadable as he set the supplies on the coffee table.
“This is gonna hurt,” he warned, pulling a pair of gloves from the kit.
“Great,” you muttered, but you didn’t stop him as he carefully peeled back your sleeve to examine your shoulder. His fingers were warm against your skin, and you cursed the way your breath hitched when he touched you.
“You dislocated it,” he said after a moment. “I’ll have to pop it back in.”
Your stomach flipped. “Can’t we just
 leave it for now?”
Rafe gave you a look that said he wasn’t in the mood for jokes. “If we don’t fix it, it’ll get worse. Trust me, you don’t want that.”
Trust him. The words felt foreign, almost laughable. But as he positioned himself beside you, his hand bracing your arm, you realized you didn’t have much of a choice.
“On three,” he said, his voice low and steady. “One—”
Before he even got to two, he pushed. Pain exploded in your shoulder, sharp and blinding, and you let out a strangled cry. Tears blurred your vision as you gasped for breath, the pain slowly ebbing to a dull throb.
“You okay?” Rafe asked, his tone softer now.
You nodded, swallowing hard. “I hate you.”
A ghost of a smirk tugged at his lips. “You’re welcome.”
The rest of the cleanup was quieter. He wrapped your ankle with surprising care, his touch almost gentle as he worked. You watched him in silence, noting the way his brows furrowed in concentration, the flicker of something unspoken in his eyes. It was strange, seeing him like this—focused, almost
 kind.
When he finished, he leaned back, wiping his hands on a towel. “There. You’ll live.”
“Thanks,” you muttered, feeling awkward under his gaze. “For
 everything.”
Rafe didn’t respond right away. He just stared at you, his blue eyes searching yours as if he was trying to figure out what to say. The air between you grew heavy, charged with an electricity that made your skin prickle.
“You’re a mess, you know that?” he said finally, his voice quieter than usual.
You bristled, narrowing your eyes. “Gee, thanks. Glad to know you’re still a jerk.”
“That’s not what I meant,” he said, his expression softening. “You’ve been running yourself into the ground, getting into all this trouble, and for what? You’re gonna get yourself killed one of these days.”
You looked away, the weight of his words settling over you. “Why do you care?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted, and for once, there was no edge to his voice. “But I do.”
The confession hung in the air, raw and unexpected. You turned back to him, your heart racing as you searched his face for any hint of a joke. But there was none. Just the truth, laid bare between you.
“Rafe—”
“I’m not good at this,” he interrupted, running a hand through his hair. “But I can’t stand seeing you like this. You drive me insane, and half the time I don’t even know why I bother, but
 I care about you. More than I should.”
The words hit you like a punch to the gut, leaving you breathless. You didn’t know what to say, how to respond to a confession you’d never expected. But as you looked at him, his usual mask of arrogance stripped away, you realized something else.
You cared about him too.
The tension between you crackled like a live wire, pulling you closer until there was barely any space left. His eyes flickered to your lips, and for a moment, you thought he might close the gap.
But he didn’t. Instead, he leaned back, running a hand over his face as if to steady himself.
“You should get some rest,” he said, his voice rough. “We’ll talk in the morning.”
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
The cabin felt different in the light of day. The warmth from the fire was gone, replaced by a cold chill that seeped into your bones. You hadn’t slept at all the night before—your mind too restless, too tangled with the memory of Rafe’s confession. You tried to brush it off, telling yourself it didn’t mean anything. But the truth was, you couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Rafe’s voice echoed in your mind, his words hanging in the air like an unfinished sentence. “I care about you. More than I should.”
The way he’d said it—quiet, raw, and unguarded—had unsettled you. You weren’t used to that kind of honesty, especially not from him. Rafe Cameron wasn’t supposed to care. Not about you. He was supposed to be the reckless, untouchable bad boy that everyone warned you to stay away from.
So why couldn’t you shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as untouchable as you thought?
You stretched out on the couch, the pain from your injuries still a dull throb in the background, but nothing compared to the weight of your thoughts. The first light of dawn had barely crept through the curtains when Rafe appeared in the doorway, his silhouette framed by the soft glow.
“Morning,” he said gruffly, his voice rough with sleep.
You barely acknowledged him, your gaze fixed on the floor. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”
“Do what?” he asked, stepping into the room. He’d changed into a worn flannel shirt and jeans, looking as effortlessly put together as always, despite the tension between you.
“Act like nothing happened,” you muttered. You pushed yourself upright on the couch, wincing as you adjusted your shoulder. “We both know that you didn’t mean what you said last night.”
He was silent for a moment, his eyes studying you with an intensity that made your stomach flip. “You think I lied?”
“No,” you said quickly, though it didn’t feel entirely true. “I think you said it in the heat of the moment. Maybe you were trying to fix things or—”
“Or what?” Rafe cut you off, his voice sharper than usual. “You think I can’t feel things just because I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve?” His jaw tightened as he took a step closer, eyes never leaving yours. “I didn’t lie. I said it because I meant it.”
The air between you thickened, the words hanging heavily in the space between you. You could feel the pull, the electric tension that seemed to coil tighter with every breath you took. But you were too stubborn to admit it—too scared to believe it was real.
Rafe ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. “Look, I know you don’t want to hear it. But I can’t pretend like I don’t care. Not anymore.”
You stood up, a rush of emotions flooding through you. “This isn’t a fairy tale, Rafe. People like us don’t get to have happy endings.”
His eyes softened for a moment, the hardness in his expression giving way to something more vulnerable. “Maybe we don’t need a happy ending. Maybe we just need to get through the mess we’ve made together.”
For a moment, you didn’t know what to say. His words hung in the air, leaving you caught between something you couldn’t quite define and something you were terrified to face.
“I don’t know if I can trust you,” you whispered, your voice trembling despite your best efforts to stay composed.
He stepped closer, his presence almost overwhelming now. “I’m not asking you to trust me. I’m asking you to trust yourself. You don’t have to do this alone, you know.”
His words struck a chord deep within you. You’d always prided yourself on being independent, on handling everything on your own. But the truth was, you were tired—tired of running, tired of pretending you didn’t need someone. And maybe, just maybe, Rafe was the person who could help you put the pieces back together.
But you weren’t ready for that. Not yet.
You stepped back, crossing your arms over your chest in a protective gesture. “I need space, Rafe. I’m not ready for this.”
He didn’t argue. Instead, he simply nodded, a hint of understanding flickering in his eyes. “I’ll give you space. But don’t think for a second that I’m going anywhere.”
The words were both comforting and suffocating all at once. You weren’t sure what you wanted anymore, but you knew you couldn’t keep pretending like this—like nothing had changed between you.
“I don’t need saving,” you said quietly, the words coming out sharper than you intended. “I’m not some damsel in distress.”
Rafe didn’t flinch. His eyes softened as he took a step back. “I know. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve help.”
There was a long, heavy silence between you, the weight of his words pressing down on you. For the first time in a long time, you let yourself believe that maybe he was right. Maybe you didn’t have to do everything on your own.
“I’ll be outside,” Rafe said after a moment, his voice low but steady. “If you need anything.”
You didn’t respond, your gaze already drifting to the window. As he walked out of the cabin, you sank back down onto the couch, your mind swirling with a thousand thoughts, none of which made sense.
But one thing was clear—no matter how hard you tried to push him away, Rafe wasn’t going anywhere.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
A few hours later, you were sitting at the kitchen table, absently staring out at the woods surrounding the cabin. You hadn’t heard Rafe move around, but when you looked up, he was standing in the doorway again, his gaze gentle.
“I’ve been thinking,” he said, his voice tentative. “You’re in a lot of trouble right now, and I can help. My family... well, they know people. Good people. I can have my lawyers handle everything, get you out of this mess. You won’t have to run anymore.”
The offer hung in the air, heavy with the weight of his sincerity. You hadn’t expected him to offer something so personal—so vulnerable.
You blinked, still processing the offer. “You’d really do that? For me?”
Rafe’s jaw tightened, and he took a step closer, his gaze softening. “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it.”
You hesitated. The idea of being free from the constant fear of being caught was tempting, but something inside you still resisted. “But... why? Why help me, after everything?”
Rafe’s expression shifted, vulnerability flashing through his eyes. “Because I don’t want to see you suffer. I don’t want you to keep running, thinking you’re alone in all of this.” He hesitated, his voice lowering. “And because, despite all the chaos, I care about you. More than I ever thought I would.”
The silence between you was thick, but this time, it didn’t feel suffocating. It felt like something fragile and real, the kind of thing that could grow if you let it.
You met his eyes, the weight of his words settling over you, and for the first time in a long time, you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, things didn’t have to be as messed up as you’d convinced yourself they were.
“I don’t want to keep running either,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
Rafe gave you a soft smile, stepping closer until he was standing right in front of you. “Then let me help you. Let me fix this. You don’t have to do it alone.”
For a moment, you just stood there, looking at him, the air between you warmer than it had been in a long time. You didn’t have all the answers, and maybe things weren’t perfect, but for once, it felt like you were on the edge of something real.
“I’ll take your help,” you said, your voice steady but filled with a hesitant warmth. “But only if you promise not to bail when things get messy.”
Rafe chuckled, that familiar spark in his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not ever.”
And just like that, the walls between you crumbled, replaced with something new—something uncertain, but full of promise. For the first time in a long time, you allowed yourself to believe in a future where you weren’t alone. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.
Tumblr media
© 2025 rafeskai | All rights reserved. My work is a work of fiction inspired by different characters, and no part of it may be reproduced or distributed without permission.
171 notes · View notes
gallaghersgal · 23 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
CONTROL: j. hughes x fem!reader
TAGS & WARNINGS → NSFW 18+. p in v, rough sex, spitting, dirty talk, y'know the works
A/N → my first jack fic, and first hockey fic in general!! pls be nice :)) based on this ask i sent on anon a few days ago...
WC → 1.4k
Tumblr media
You’d seen what happened. One of the Rangers defenseman tried to trip Jack, earning a shove from your boyfriend. The gloves came off, then there was blood on the ice. You almost spilled your drink, standing up and screaming as your boyfriend rose in the middle of the tussle. He gets a blow in here and there before the refs separate the players.
Jack looks pissed as he skates toward the bench, but he turns around to mouth to you, “just a scratch, baby.”
You don’t talk about it until you’re home. Jack’s hand rested on your thigh the entirety of the drive, squeezing occasionally. You notice his bruised knuckles and run a thumb over them softly.
When you get home he stomps up to the bedroom, removing his sneakers with a huff. “Jack, baby,” you murmur, reaching out for him. Strong hands swat yours away, Jack stands and his frame looms over you.
“Get on the bed.” Your brow furrows in confusion, taken aback by his request. Before you can respond his hands are on your hips. “I said. Get your ass on the fucking bed.” 
You whimper as he picks you up, tossing you onto the mattress himself. You land with a soft ‘mmph!’ and watch as he hastily unties his sweats. They fall to his ankles with a quick shove, then he’s dressed in nothing but boxers and a tight black tee. 
You swallow and stare at the tent in his boxers, no matter how many times you’ve taken it your stomach always flips at the size of him. Jack’s eyes darken as he gets on the bed, crawling over to cage you in under his body. “You’re gonna sit there, and you’re gonna take what I fucking give you. Do y’understand me?”
Still, you’re too awestruck to answer. One large hand grips your jaw. “Don’t make me repeat myself, I know y’aren’t stupid. I asked you a question.” You nod dumbly, whimpering when his hand moves to squeeze your throat just slightly.
“Good girl. Hands and knees.” Jack caresses your throat, his tone commanding as he releases you. You scramble into the desired position, pressing your ass back against his bulge. You feel the thickness of him press into your center, panties already wet from the way he’s been handling you. 
With a shaky breath you tell him, “whatever you need, y’can take it.”
He coos in response, chest pressing flush to your back. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” There’s the distinct sound of your tights ripping, and before you know it he’s pushed in to the hilt. The moan that leaves you is a punched out noise from deep in your chest, you flop down onto the pillows at the head of the bed. Jack sets a mind numbing pace, grunting softly as he fills you deliciously, again and again. 
You’ll never get used to his size, girth splitting you open in the best way. All you can do is whimper weakly, your skirt flipped up and red lace panties shoved to the side. Jack isn’t normally like this, but you’re loving this side of him. The control over you, the way his hand presses your neck into the pillows, all of it is deliciously rough. A series of soft ‘ah ah ah,’ noises tumble from your parted lips, your deep shade of lipstick smearing onto the fresh white pillowcase.
And Jack fucking loves it. “They think they c’n just do whatever t’me, slam me in the fuckin’ wall. Can’t–fuck–can’t control shit out there,” he growls, hips snapping against yours. The obscene sound of skin on skin is muffled by the bits of fabric that still cling to your bodies, clothes only pushed back enough for him to slide in. Jack was too pissed for the formalities; undressing you slowly, taking his time to kiss all over your body before finally plunging into your sweet cunt. He needs you now, just as you are. And fuck he has you.
Has you mewling his name, “JackieJackieJackie–” sounding so pretty underneath him. Has your ass up in the air, tinged red with his handprints, god he loves slapping your ass. Jack has you falling apart, as he always does. He knows your body like he knows the devils playbook, inside out and backwards. Even tonight, when he’s taking what he needs from you, he can feel your orgasm drawing closer. 
“You gonna cum for me princess?” he asks, pulling out until just the tip is inside before pounding back into your pussy. You slump forward, nodding in place of the words you can’t seem to form. “Yeah, fuckin’ thought so. Such a good girl for me, letting me take control like this.”
Jack’s warm palm presses your back into a pretty arch, displaying you to him. He watches enamoured as his cock stretches you out. The sight is obscene and oh so fucking pretty. He spits on your joined bodies, aiding the slick movement as he pumps into you with quick strokes. The coil in your core winds tighter and white hot pleasure overruns you. “Fuck! Jack, baby,” you whine, followed by a high pitched moan as your orgasm washes over you.
Your head feels fuzzy, barely registering the soft coos of praise from your boyfriend. You float in that space for a bit, cheek pressed to the pillow and lashes splayed against your cheek. Jack fucks you softer, still chasing his own pleasure while he lets you take a minute to recover.
Soft kisses on your nape bring you back to reality. “Fuck that was
” you mumble, trailing off as words fail you. What could you say, mind-numbing? So good you saw stars? Truth is none of it could describe how that just felt.
Jack’s lips seal to your own, his chest pressing to your back. “Gonna fill you up,” he mumbles against your lips. “How d’you want it, sweetheart?”
“Mmm, on m’back,” you whisper, a pout gracing your lips when he pulls out. You whine at the loss, earning a soft chuckle from your boyfriend.
Strong hands maneuver you onto your back and he teases, “easy there, I’m puttin’ it back in.” He nips at your jaw, pushes the fabric of your #86 jersey up to reveal your breasts, then with one hand on his cock he pushes in.
In one smooth motion Jack fills you completely. The dark, wiry hairs at the base of his cock brush your clit and draw sweet mewls from your swollen lips. “Who’s in control baby, huh?” he asks, his tone dark as he starts to thrust slowly into you. “Who’s the only one that can make you cum like that?”
It’s hard enough to form words around Jack as it is, but when he’s above you like this? You’re practically mute. His hair hangs in your face, and a simple gold chain bumps against your chin with every thrust. His thumb brushes your bottom lip, pulling it into a pout as he slows his pace.
“Come on, asked you a question baby,” he coos, teasing you with shallow thrusts until you muster up the words to answer.
“You, only you Jackie,” you whimper, using the sweet nickname in hopes he’ll fuck you harder. It’s coy, but it works. His pace speeds again, face buried in your neck as he covers the skin with soft bruises. “You, you, you. Always you,” you whisper.
Jack smiles, you don’t see it, more feel it against your skin, but you know it’s there. “Yeah, atta girl,” he purrs, his hips starting to stutter. You know he’s close, and you bring one hand to tangle in his hair. In a smooth but firm motion you pull him in for a kiss, tongues mingling sweetly while he groans into your mouth.
“Fuck, yeah. That’s it, thank you baby, thank you,” he’s practically whining, biting down on your lower lip as his thighs shake. He fills you so deliciously, warmth blossoming between your thighs as he cums inside you. Even in the height of his pleasure, Jack still focuses back on you. He circles your clit with his thumb, muttering against your lips. “Cum for me, c’mon, tha’s my girl.”
Another orgasm washes over you, your back arching weakly as you pulse around his cock. Jack whines, hiding his face in your neck while he ruts into you, milking the last bits of pleasure from the both of you.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
© gallaghersgal, 2025. div. by cafekitsune,
THX 4 READING → inspired by @cupidbedsy & @lovecla, dedicated to @hhughes. lmk what u thought of the fic!!
157 notes · View notes
floraisunwell · 16 hours ago
Text
Promise | s.r
who? post-prison!reid x ex gf reader (she's a nurse)
category: angst (bold move ig)
summary: Spencer left you 5 months ago without a word for undisclosed reasons but he comes teary eyed to your door after seeing a girl that looks a little too much like you.
based on (very loosely lol): promise by laufey. the fic does not follow the events of the song at all but i love the "if it weren't for the sight of a boy who looked just like you standing out on Melrose avenue" part right at the end so it's all on that line.
word count: 1.6k
a/n: my first fic ahhhhhhh, i'm so nervous and happy rn, this is my baby and ik there's a lot of space for improvement but i'm proud of my writing, this comunnity is full of amazing people and if it wasn't such a lovely space i would have never posted this. shoutout to @lilacsandlavenderhaze for being the first to hear my idea and telling me i should go ahead and write it; @spencersbabymama for telling me to cut the bullshit and self deprecation and post this; and to @esote-rika for being my first readerrrr. love y'all <3
dividers by @aquazero
English is not my first language pls tell me about any spelling and grammatical mistakes. enjoyy!
Tumblr media
The air was cold and crisp, a light drizzle could be felt dampening the streets – a scene typical for this time of the year in Washington. Spencer had gone out with the team to get some drinks after a hard but successful case, he was happy, of course, the fact that they had caught the killer pleased him but everything inside the building felt overwhelming: the voices, and the drunk conversations, all the limbs touching a little too much, the overly loud music. He was out of it and to be honest he had been out of it for quite some time now, actually some months, everyone noticed how the breakup made him feel.
Funny, because he was the one to leave.
After you came back from a long shift at the hospital excited to cuddle with the love of your life (or so you thought) but the only remnant of him you found was a sticky note placed on the cover of a book you were reading at the time:
"I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore"
That was all he said before destroying everything you two had built over 3 years, 3 years of love, pain, and learning, 3 years of giving everything for each other, destroyed in less than 24 hours like nothing.
He hadn't been the same for a long time, though—not since prison. You didn't blame him; you tried to understand him, give him space, time, and everything one could need to heal. He was not the same, of course. You weren't expecting the same Spencer to come back, sure, but you also were not expecting whoever he had become: some cold and distant version of the person you used to know.
Your relationship with Spencer is divided into two eras: Before Millburn and After Millburn.
Before Millburn, you guys were somewhat happy. Both of you were overworked and stressed but happy. You would tell him about your work, and he would tell you about his. In the rare times, he got a day off work, he would hug you whenever he could, like he was making sure you wouldn't slip away.
After Millburn, you didn't talk much, not unless it was necessary, he didn't hug you a lot anymore, in fact, the last time he hugged you was when you went to pick him up at the correctional facility, all the emotions running high, you remember thinking he looked and smelled different, you didn't know he would be so different when you wrapped him in your arms, placed a kiss on his shoulder and whispered that everything would be fine. But everything was not fine. It was all so not fine and everyone around you two could tell. Yet you could have never imagined that Spencer, the man who made the hopeless romantic in you thrive would leave in such a disheartening way.
Tumblr media
Back at O’Keeffe’s, the team was still at it. The count of how many rounds of drinks Rossi had paid long lost, Emily and JJ leaning suspiciously close to each other, Rossi nursing some unnecessarily extravagant drink, Garcia and Morgan somewhere on the dance floor and Hotch nowhere to be seen. Spencer had gone outside, hoping the sensory overload would ease with the fresh air, it did slightly but the agglomerate of people was no better than the one inside, so many people, reeking of alcohol, walking like zombies, and saying nonsensical things. As he was standing near the entrance, hands stuffed into his pockets, the soft rain dampening his hair, Spencer let his mind wander and it ended up where it always does: him contemplating if leaving was the right decision.
He was so deep in this thought that didn't even notice the man approaching until it happened- a hard shoulder bump that took him away from his thoughts.
"Sorry dude" the man muttered not even caring to glance back as he moved past. Spencer blinked, shocked as he watched the man move swiftly toward a small group of people nearby. A group that included you.
His heart jumped to his mouth. No - not you. But she looked like you, uncannily so. She even acted like you, the way she threw her back when she laughed or how she scrunched her nose in an attempt to put her sliding glasses in place - he could've sworn it was you.
For a fraction of a minute, he actually thought it was you. His breath caught in his throat and he took a step forward before reality sank in and he retreated. It wasn't you; it was never you.
But as he watched her wrapping her arms around the man's neck, as his hands almost automatically moved to her waist, and they both smiled like idiots in love. He couldn't help but feel like he had been stabbed and the knife was being twisted inside him. Was this some type of fucked up joke by the universe? "This could be you, bad thing you lost her" The thing is, he didn't lose you- he gave up on you which was worse because maybe if he had stayed, and tried a little harder, you would still be together.
He staggered back a few steps, and if he hadn't reached the wall, he would've fallen considering he already felt his knees buckle as all the bottled-up emotions from the past five months came crashing onto him; he was overwhelmed by his own feelings, eyes blurry with tears as a lump formed in his throat and the weight on his chest got heavier.
Blindly, almost unconsciously, he reached for his phone in the inside pocket of his jacket. His thumb hovered above your name in the contacts list. The message he typed was brief:
"Are you home?"
He didn't get a reply, he wasn't waiting for one. The moment he hit send his legs were already moving, practically running towards the street to hail a cab. He gave the driver your address, and it came out of his mouth easily, as if he had never stopped saying it.
Tumblr media
You were in the shower when his message came through, you didn't pay the loud notification much attention, not even caring to glance at the device when you heard the familiar ding. You prioritized the small occasions you got to take care of yourself when your job is to take care of others.
Now freshly showered and in the kitchen making tea- the next step on your little routine- you hear a knock on the door, a distinct knock, a knock you could never forget, not even a billion years from now. Your heart stopped for a moment, heartbeat pounding in your ears, you didn't quite register you were moving towards the door until it was open and he was standing there, his brown eyes open wide once he registered your presence, reacting as though you opening the door was the last thing he expected. You just stood there for a few seconds, staring at each other until Spencer wrapped you in his arms like he used to, his nostrils flooding with the smell of your shampoo and body wash, smells he recognized all too well, smells that felt like home.
You pushed him away, shattering the brief feeling of happiness he had started to feel.
"What are you doing here?" You asked almost a little too loud in an attempt to hide the hurt in your voice
"I miss you" he replied eyes searching for yours.
You stood there, arms folded, trying to hide how weak those words made you feel. He had no right to miss you, not after leaving the way he did.
Why should I care? You thought to yourself. He made it clear that he didn’t care about you, but you cared, you cared so deeply that it made your heart ache.
You were not going to let him in.
"You can't just stop talking to me and then come here like nothing happened, Spence." You couldn't help using the nickname, your voice falsely steady, trying to hide the pain.
"I know, I just-can I come in?" No reply "Please"
You hesitated, gripping the door handle tighter as a tornado of emotions swirled on your chest. Anger. Hurt. Loneliness. You wanted to slam the door in his face, make him feel a small fraction of what you felt over the past 5 months. But buried beneath all these harsh feelings, there was something softer, something you felt ashamed to acknowledge: the echo of all the nights you stayed up worrying about him and what could happen in his work, all the mornings you woke up without the smell of coffee lingering through the apartment.
You let him in.
You tried to convince yourself that letting him in was about answers- you deserved an explanation, some sort of closure at least. But as you stepped aside and watched him walk past you knew that wasn’t the whole truth.
Because no matter how much he’d hurt you, part of you still longed for the man he used to be.
“This doesn’t change anything.” You muttered, as much to yourself as to him. He gave a slight nod in reply, eyes watering. Damn him and his big brown eyes.
 As you were turning around after closing the door behind you, he captured you in a hug again and you couldn't help but wrap your arms around him too.
★
Somehow, he ended up asleep in your bed and as you gaze at his peaceful resting face, your mind tells you to wake him up, tell him to go home and never come back, tell him that he doesn't get to leave and reappear whenever it suits him, tell him that he can fuck off for breaking your heart like that. Yet, you don't do any of that, because your heart tells you not to.
Tumblr media
tysm for reading, likes and reblogs are always deeply appreciated
@angellic4l it's finally here bestieee!
157 notes · View notes
morlock-holmes · 2 days ago
Text
Been reading the replies and thinking more about this.
Specifically, one thing I wanted to get across is that there is a certain "type" of conspiracy theorist where, I'm not sure how to put this, the fact that they believe in a hidden conspiracy that most people don't credit is not necessarily the most interesting or important part of their thought process.
The goal of using the term "High Control Group" rather than "Cult" is to highlight that in many cases the fact that members express unusual religious beliefs not in keeping with the majority is *not* the most socially interesting or dubious part, but that common methods of control are just as worth pointing out.
And I feel the same way about "Conspiracy theories" and "Conspiracism", that the belief in a hidden malicious conspiracy is not necessarily the most interesting or salient feature.
I was thinking of the clips of depositions of various Infowar people in the Sandy Hook defamation trials, and, to paraphrase, their own explanation of their thinking basically boiled down to,
"We knew that the Democrats would use this incident to try to take away our gun rights, and so we started to look into how it might have been faked."
I think believing that Sandy Hook is a conspiracy gives these people an out for the discomfort they would feel if their political enemies had a point, and possibly just the discomfort that comes from, well, kind of making this tragedy all about them.
If it's an actual tragic massacre, then the people who want to stop future massacres are... well... kind of understandable and they have some compelling points, at least emotionally.
If, on the other hand, it's a false flag, the people who want to take away our gun rights are just bad people and you don't have to have any complex feelings about fighting them.
Alex Jones and the Infowars people also tend to have a high tolerance for bullshit, in what I understand to be Frankfurt sense of the term, as in "Not caring whether the things they say are true or false."
One other thing I've noticed about conspiracy theorists is that they will often ally themselves with people who have entirely incompatible conspiracy theories, as long as they all share the same enemy.
The Conspiratorial Mindset
So, I've always had a bit of an interest in scams and hokum, and what people call "Cults".
One of the common refrains when you talk about religious Cults is, "If you think about it all religions have beliefs that seem odd to outsiders" and this is true, but as I read more about cults I started to think,
"Wait, a lot of these groups aren't united just by having unusual religious or supernatural views; a lot of them also seem to have matching patterns of behaviors that have nothing to do with belief in psychic space aliens"
I'm talking about things like,
Having a leadership structure which is absolute, where the top leaders cannot be disciplined or even openly criticized by lower members;
Exerting tremendous control over the dress and behavior of adherents;
Telling adherents that outsiders are untrustworthy and that contact with outsiders should be strictly limited and heavily monitored by organizational leadership;
The extensive and common use of shunning and reprogramming in response to violation of any of the above rules.
In some groups, failing to adhere to the dress code and spending a lot of time with outsiders is, at worst, the subject of a few little jabs at family gatherings. In other groups, those same behaviors are treated as Defcon one crises and become the central issue of the adherent's relationship with everybody else in the organization until they can be bullied back into doing the organization's bidding.
It was gratifying to learn that other people have noticed these patterns (Some people prefer the term "High Control Group" to "Cult" because it highlights what the actual problem is)
I am starting to notice similar dynamics in what are commonly called "Conspiracy theories".
The thing about conspiracy theories is... Well, conspiracies exist, and sometimes groups of powerful people get together to do something in secret which would get them in big trouble if they were to do it openly.
But I am starting to notice a particular, I don't know, a particular way of conceptualizing the organization and purpose of conspiracies which is unique to some people and which characterizes the kind of conspiracy theorist who takes Alex Jones seriously.
I kind of think of it as a "Witch-Hunting mentality".
For certain people in more primitive times and places, if they, say, slipped off a ladder and hurt themselves, their first thought would be, "That must have happened because a witch cursed me. We need to find and punish the witch who cursed me."
And this isn't just the attribution of malice that characterizes this idea:
One malicious conspiracy that might make you fall off a ladder is a manufacturer who doesn't care about safety ratings. Imagine that the manufacturer is really deliberately malicious here. A subordinate comes to him and says, "Our ladders can't reliably hold the weight of a person and a lot of them will probably break and cause people to fall and hurt themselves." and he says, "I know that but who cares, by the time people figure it out it'll be too late to get their money back."
That's a malicious conspiracy, but, importantly, if Bob buys a faulty ladder and falls off, the conspiracy wasn't trying to hurt Bob; it merely didn't care whether Bob got hurt.
Now, this distinction doesn't take away the malice and hostility towards Bob, but if you go to the ladder manufacturer and say, "Hey boss, Bob bought one of our faulty ladders, but he's really skinny so the ladder didn't break" the manufacturer will go, "Who the fuck is Bob? And good, that's one less angry person."
Whereas imagine Bob's ladder has been cursed to break by a witch. The witch did it because she hates Bob, and wants him to fall, and if she finds out he didn't fall, she'll go, "Curses, I'll have to find some other way to hurt Bob."
Conspiracy theorists, it seems to me, are far more inclined to conceptualize conspiracies as acts of deliberate malice aimed at them rather than acts of negligent malice.
@loving-n0t-heyting posted this article from the New York Post which contains a good example of what I mean:
“I thought I was on the cutting edge of promoting rights for gay people,” Yang said. “But then I started looking deeper into where this was coming from and who was paying for it, and I started to get very disillusioned...
I assume the people paying for it are LGBT advocacy groups? Did you, uh, not know that the people you were working for were paying you to work for them?
“When you really dig down you can see how much of this comes from documents and plans at the United Nations,” Yang said, referring in part to the UN’s “Gender Equality” initiative. “It’s part of a global agenda to restructure society, re-structure our social norms and the economy,” Yang claimed. “They are undermining the sexually dimorphic nature of reality and breaking down the differences between the sexes to break down our identity. They are constructing identities for us and they want us to adopt them.”
Oh, I see.
This is exactly what I mean. LGBT rights efforts make Yang and others feel disoriented, like society is being restructured and that they are being left behind, like they aren't quite in control of social norms and that stable identity categories can't be relied on anymore.
Now, one kind of conservative might look at that and say, "These are bad second order effects of LGBT people trying to assert their lifestyle in public and that's why we should oppose them."
But another kind says, "These changes make me feel unstable. Therefore, the main purpose of the changes is to make me feel unstable. In order to understand these changes, I need to figure out who wants me to feel unstable and what they would gain from making me feel unstable."
The idea that Yang's feeling of instability is simply a side effect of a series of efforts mainly focused on LGBT rights is incomprehensible. Instead, she believes that there is a series of efforts focused mainly on making her feel unstable, with LGBT rights as a kind of side effect to the main goal of making her feel unstable.
This kind of thing is, to me, a big red flag that indicates that we are starting to float away from reasonable conspiracy thinking into crazy town.
I am particularly curious if folks can recommend any writers or researchers who have noticed this dynamic.
604 notes · View notes