#thinking again of that part in home where gandalf threatens to set him on fire because he's so annoyed with him

[emyn-arnens]

Gosh I just love book Legolas. He's immortal. He's a teenager. Elrond picks him instead of Glorfindel because he's average and won't draw attention to the Fellowship. He's the comic relief guy and resident Little Shit, but he can also shoot a Nazgul out of the sky in the pitch black like a one-man elf anti-aircraft defense system. He wants everyone to know that he's, like, really old. He forgets the task at hand because he wants to look at trees. His greatest qualities are that he can become friends with anyone and his loyalty is unending. He shows up to Valinor a century late with Starbucks in hand and his dwarf bestie at his side. Iconic.

[dareiaious]

Obi Wan loves reading. He believes books to be the greatest source of knowledge and the ultimate source of entertainment. Since he was a small boy, he could spend hours sitting in his room and reading thousands and thousands of words. It’s a wonder he doesn't need glasses even at the age of 40, considering all the nights he spent with books and his night light.

When he is 10, he has a small bookshelf above his bed headboard, where he keeps the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings books. Obi Wan wants to set on adventure and meet elves, the boy dreams of long hikes and meeting Gandalf.

He is 15 when he gets into science fiction and becomes a fan of Issac Asimov. He would later admit that, but I, robot has probably influenced his worldview a lot, making his think about human conscience a lot and majoring in Phycology 8 years later.

It’s 1988, Obi Wan is graduating high school and gets his letter of acceptance from Washington University. His small bookshelf of 8 years evolves into a bookcase next to his desk, filled with Science Fiction and books on psychology. He spends a lot of time in local library, reading papers on history of homosexuality and studies of it.

He is in his early 30s when he drives to the library to donate some if his books. He already has 2 bookcases and Cody is already threatening him with moving one of them, because bookshelves cannot stay right in front of the windows, love, you need sunlight. They came to compromise in the end, moving one the cases and emptying about half of it. Some of the books were little outdated or not in his field anyway. They also needed to free up some space for the parenting books, as the adoption process was coming to closure.

Obi Wan just turned 40, Anakin started high school, Ahsoka is getting more involved into that weird space opera which was on screens back in his childhood and Cody is thinking of retirement. His office got bigger and his bookshelves doubled. Those in the living room are filled with parenting and child books which they will donate soon (unless they consider adopting again) and Anakin’s numerous books with DIY tech projects. Cody thought that it was a good idea for about a month, before all the neighbours got his number, just in case they smell fire or see smoke in the near distance. Bookcase in the office is still filled with academic papers on everything he was interested in the past 15 years. He keeps his childhood Tolkien books in the end table next to the bed.

When Anakin moves to Cambridge he doesn’t take many books, but he sure takes part of the collection he assembled with Ahsoka through the years. Obi Wan can never remember the name of the franchise, but he remembers they have space monks and his kids like it, so he doesn't mind. Cody hugs him, as Anakin’s plane takes off and says Obi Wan would make a great space monk. Ahsoka can’t stop laughing and asks is they can drop by the small bookshop on the way home.

[intothestarkerverse]

Highway to Hell Pt. 3

Summary:  Once again, I will reveal no details about the story’s plot to respect spoilers for Endgame.  If you want to read the fic, click below and have at it, though! 

Read on AO3

Part 1, Part 2

Y’know, there are times when I think that nothing can surprise me anymore. Things I’ve seen. Things I’ve done. Call me jaded, but some part of me just expects my life to go to shit from one breath to the next.

Know what?

Scratch that.

Only time I’m actually surprised by anything anymore is when my life isn’t going to shit. So, this? This doesn’t even register on my scale of ‘what the fuck’.

At least, not until I see the kid.

Last thing I remember, I was getting dressed.

Actually slept last night. You know how fucking rare that is? Rare as a funny Carrot Top joke, that’s how fucking rare. I didn’t just get a good night’s sleep, I had a good dream, too. Can’t even remember the last time I had one of those. I had a kid. In the dream. Little boy. It was a good dream.

This? I don’t know what the fuck this is.

Day to night in the blink of an eye. Bedroom to dark alley and I didn’t even see the setting shift. I’m alone and now I’m here, squatting beside Peter Parker after he looks like he’s been hit by a damn steam roller. Y’know what’s worse? I can’t even tell what the fuck happened or who the fuck I should be killing for doing this to him. Doesn’t seem like he’s going to be talking anytime soon, either.

The kid is just clinging to my hand like it’s a lifeline, trying to speak but the words just aren’t coming.

The Iron Legion isn’t responding. At least one of the suits should have arrived by now, but the night is clear and the kid won’t let go of my hand long enough for me to activate the suit from it’s nanocasing. I can’t even raise Friday, which worries me more than anything else. Even my own AI is ignoring me…

There’s a strange, hesitating movement to the way Peter gropes with his free hand. Awkward. Ungainly. Finally, after several failed attempts and barely audible whimpers of frustration, he pulls the phone from his pocket, thumbs the screen to life and thrusts it towards me all without lifting more than his arm from the cold concrete.

The first thing I notice are the number of missed calls. A few are from May. That’s to be expected. The rest, and there are quite a few of them, are from someone listed as ‘The Wizard’ in his contacts. Just as I am trying to contemplate who this Wizard is and how Peter has a friend I’ve never heard of, the phone goes off in my hand.

Harry Potter theme ringtone. Cute, Kiddo. Cute.

I tap the green phone icon and lift it to my ear. The Wizard is already speaking and I don’t like the sound of him. He’s older. Not a kid. Probably closer to my age. Why is Peter getting this many phone calls from a man old enough to be his father? And no, that’s not jealousy. That’s not what I’m calling it, cause if I call it that…whole different can of worms I don’t even want to get into right now.

“Parker? Listen, I’m sorry. I know it wasn’t what you wanted to hear right now, I wish this could have been the answer, but trust me when I say it’s for the best. Please come back to the Sanctum, or go home to May, or go stay with Dr. Banner for the night. We’re all worried sick about you and this…this isn’t helping.”

“Are you done?” I ask, waiting impatiently for the man to finish his impassioned speech which gives me a few answers, but not many. “Now, care to tell me who this is?”

“Fuck.”

I pause, pulling back the phone a little to look at the display. Yep. The bastard hung up on me. Oh well, didn’t really want to talk to him anyway. I’m in the process of calling Happy for an assist when something catches my eye a little to the left. Sparks flying in midair, slowly growing into a circle that expands and expands until I can clearly see a house through the opening and a man in a decent D&D cosplay steps through with his brow knit in concern that only gets worse when he sees me. “The Wizard, I presume.” I mean, the kid had used the term ‘Wizard’, I don’t know why I’m surprised that he actually is one.

“Take your hands off the boy.”

I don’t like the way he thinks he can just make some hocus pocus and order me around. ”Willing to bet I saw him first, so…no.” I really wish Peter would let go of my hand long enough for me to activate the armor. I could force him to, but a part of me is afraid to break the physical contact. Something is seriously wrong with Peter, but he’s calm while he’s got my hand at least. “Who the hell are you and what makes you think you think you have the right to order me away from the kid?”

The wizard seems to be thinking about something, I don’t like the way he’s looking at me, but finally he waves a hand idly and the red cape around his shoulders flies off, winding its way around Peter’s limp form and slowly, gently, lifting him off of the ground.

“What do you think you’re…”

“’The Kid’ needs medical attention. He’s in shock. I can help him…and probably answer your questions while I’m at it. Just swallow your pride for five god damn minutes and…follow me.” He turns to walk back through the portal that has failed to close behind him through our whole exchange. He’s muttering to himself, and I can’t decide if he knows I can hear him or not. “At least I know you’re not an impostor, no one could convincingly fake an ego that size.”

The Wizard is not my favorite person.

Peter needs better friends.

Although I’m not excited to follow, the cape is taking Peter and I have to agree that the kid looks like he could use a little first aid. Since none of my resources seem to be working, this one seems like my only option. Peter, at least, seems to trust the man. And he said ‘Dr. Banner’, so is he a friend of Bruce’s too? Answers sound good just about now, so I follow, still not removing my hand from Peter’s as we step from the street into a room with an antique sofa and a roaring fire. The cape deposits Peter on the sofa and remains curled around him, the corner of the cape stroking affectionately at Peter’s cheek. The kid leans his head into it, and I’m not jealous of a damn piece of outerwear either. Just so you know.

Behind us, the portal closes and I find myself in a strange house in serious need of an interior decorator. The Wizard is ignoring me beyond practically pushing me away from Peter and forcing me to drop his hands. I really dis like this guy…and the whimper that Peter lets out when he break contact threatens to pull my beating heart from my chest. The kid is cognizant, at least I think he is, because he is following the Wizard’s instructions…albeit very slowly and only after he repeats them several times in a loud tone of voice. I remain quiet, only because I want to make sure Peter is okay, and because I don’t want to distract the Wizard just yet. Besides, I’m a little interested in what is going on over there.

“Peter?” The wizard checks his heart rate, checks his pupils, makes him follow a finger and after he presses a cup of tea and honey, that he had literally conjures from thin air, into the boy’s hands and forces him to drink it down, he follows up with a few questions that Peter is able to answer hoarsely. He loses me at the first question, but can you blame me?

“What day is it?”

“August 31st, 2023.”

When the Wizard doesn’t seem to be the least bit concerned about that, I have to speak up. “Uh, Gandalf, you aren’t going to follow up on that? The kid’s way off.”

The wizard glances up at me, lips set in a frown. “And what do you think the day is, Stark?”

“April 27th, 2018. Like I said, the kid is way off.”

When I give the correct date, Peter lets out a little squawk that is at once alarming and adorable, but that is neither here nor there. At least the kid recognized the actual date when he heard it, but where he got August 2023 from is beyond me. Peter is staring at me now, though he’s squinting his eyes in a way I’ve never seen him do before.

The wizard notices too. “Where do you keep your glasses, Peter?”

“Top drawer of my desk.” Peter answers softly. “In my room. Right hand side.”

With a few hand gestures, the wizard conjures another of those portals and his hand dips inside, drawing out a pair of wire rimmed glasses that he hands to Peter. Once they are sitting on his nose, Peter stops squinting and seems to relax, at least a little. I’m glad one of us can relax, because seeing Peter needing glasses has got me pretty fucking stressed…even if the glasses do give him an endearingly nerdy air that I can kind of dig… “What happened to sense being dialed to eleven, Pete?”

Pushing his glasses up his nose, Peter swallows hard before answering. “They’re not…anymore.”

The wizard lets out a long sigh, standing up and scrubbing a hand over his face. “The date Peter gave was correct, Stark. I wish I could be more tactful, but I have a feeling that the only way I’m going to get this through your thick skull is to be blunt. You died. Peter, here, has found a way to bring you back from the dead, even though I told him that it was impossible.”

“It wasn’t impossible.” Peter’s voice, though still hoarse, has a bit more force behind it now. “You lied to me, Dr. Strange. It wasn’t impossible because he’s here, isn’t he?”

“Wait. Wait I second. I died? What did the kid do, perform really good CPR?”

‘Dr. Strange’, that can’t be his real name, gives the kid a pointed look that has Peter staring into his lap and petting a free hand over the cape. “No, Mr. Stark. You died saving the world from Thanos and the infinity stones.”

I need to sit down. Clearly, I need to sit down. The story is a long one, though they should both be glad I don’t interrupt. Between the doc and the kid, I get a mixed up version of the story, but it gives me the jist of what happened. Not all of it, I can tell they’re both leaving things out, but…I don’t have the energy or the willpower to force them both to give me more answers then they already are. “Okay, so let me get this straight. Five years ago we fought an over-sized California raisin who wanted to use a magic glove to give the universe a mullet…he succeeded, it took us five damn years to figure out how to fix it…and in the process, I had to go all martyr/messiah and die to save the universe. But now I’m here, got no idea what the hell you’re even talking about…and somehow the kid did it which is why he looks like a goldfish in a blender. That about it, Mr. Wizard?”

“Doctor Strange, and yes…more or less.”

“The part that’s tripping me up here, and it’s probably not the part you think…is where you said you were trying to help the kid out in my absence. You know, look out for him, make sure he didn’t go and do anything stupid. Cause…me sitting here after I died, and him laying there looking like a spider-smoothie, seems like something pretty stupid that you should have stopped, right? I am right about that?” At least the doc doesn’t seem to be attempting to justify the shitty way he’s been looking after my Peter. “Okay, so how am I here, then, Kid? What did you do?” Nothing good, I can bet on that.”

“I made a deal with the devil.”

I don’t even have time to respond over the doc’s loud string of curses which he follows immediately with two quick questions. “What devil? Did he give you a name?”“There’s more than one?” Peter took the words right out of my mouth.

“Several, in fact. Did he give you a name, Peter?”

“He gave me the ‘word of Mephisto’.”

Okay, a part of me feels like I should be covering the kid’s ears. This language is a bit much, even for me, and I’ve never been accused of going light on the swear jar. “Who is Mephisto?” Obvious, question, I know, but someone has to ask it.

The doc turns on me now, almost as if he forgot I was even there. That doesn’t happen too often, let me tell you.

“He’s an extradimensional entity, built an entire dimension and persona based upon Earthly superstitions to portray himself as a devil and make deals with unsuspecting mortals.” Now I’m being ignored again, but I don’t mind, because the doc’s next question is exactly what I want to ask myself. “What did you have to give him, Peter?”

I think I already know. I hope I’m wrong. I gotta be wrong…

“My powers.”

Fuck.

“Fuck.” Well, Mr. Wizard and I are in agreement about this, at least. “Exact wording, Peter. What did you give him and what did you get in return? Wording is important.”

“I gave him my powers as of tonight…not like the bite never happened and stuff got undone, and I got Mr. Stark like he was the morning before the Black Order attacked not after when he might have been injured like he was on Titan or by the stones.”

“The morning of April 27th, 2018, that explains why he doesn’t remember me or the last five years…he hasn’t lived any of it.”

No wonder the kid needs glasses. No wonder he’s been acting strange. The kid gave up everything for me? “Why, Peter?” It’s the only thing I can think, the only question I have at that moment. “Why would you do something so…so stupid? Kid, I’m not worth that.”

“You are.” Peter argues, trying to rise from the couch but being pushed back by the cape. “You’re worth more than my powers, even. I would have given him my soul to get you back. I would have given him anything he wanted. For you…I’d give up anything.”

I don’t doubt that,and therein lies the problem.

Doctor Strange gives the boy a pitying look, turning another kind of gaze on me. Disapproval, perhaps? Something else, I can’t tell. No idea what the kid has told him since I died, but he must have told him something juicy because the Doc is calling the cape back to his shoulders. “I’m going to call Mrs. Parker and let her know that Peter is all right.

You two…probably have things you want to discuss in private.”

I really want to tell him not to leave me alone with the kid. I can’t. I don’t, but I want to. I’ve never known anyone willing to sacrifice so much for me before. Somehow, it doesn’t surprise me that it’s Peter doing the sacrificing. That kid loves with his whole heart, and all I ever really wanted was to be at the receiving end of it.

Now that I am, I feel like I’m the one going to hell…

[mst3kproject]

Conquest

This movie has long been something I wish MST3K would have tackled, but I figured they never would because there are simply too many gratuitous boob shots in it.  Imagine my delight, then, when Avalanche introduced us to the Titty Drones!  I imagine they'd get a hell of a workout from this one... perhaps in a host sketch they'd end up lying exhausted on the table while Jonah and the bots sing a song to inspire them to carry on.  Other than that, the movie is just one long, foggy, dubbed, what the fuck am I watching sword-and-sorcery experience with Jorge Rivero (yep, Yuri from Werewolf) as our hero.  Bring it on.

A young man named Ilias has decided to set out on a quest.  The wise old elder of his people gives him the Bow of Kronos, which can shoot arrows of light, and off he goes in search of some Hero Stuff that needs doing.  Y'know, monsters to slay, maidens to save, that kind of thing.

I did not alter that screencap.  That is what the movie actually looks like.

Anyway, he arrives in a country in the thrall of a topless brain-eating sun goddess named Ocron and her army of coke-snorting wolf-men (I swear to you I could not make this up if I tried). In a drug-induced vision, Ocron sees herself being shot by a faceless hero wielding a laser bow, and decides she'd really better nip that in the bud.  Her first attempt to ambush Ilias is foiled by the wandering barbarian Mace, who wants the magical bow and needs Ilias to teach him how to use it.  The two become fast friends – indeed, Ilias is the first friend Mace has ever had in his life, so when Ocron finally succeeds in killing the kid, Mace decides to take up his cause and avenge him.

There is an awful lot of nudity in this movie.  Even with the titty drones, they would still have to make some deep cuts to get PG-13 out of it, and Jonah would probably face some awkward questions from Crow and Tom.  The nudity ranges from the very matter-of-fact to the extremely leering, and weirdly most of the latter is saved for the villainess.  The camera lingers on her nipples and groin as she writhes in the throes of precognition, while a phallic snake crawls up her abdomen.  Yikes. Elsewhere, other topless women appear to be completely incidental. A scene in which a near-naked girl is torn to pieces by the wolf-men is much more about the absurdly artsy violence than the nudity.

There is an equally shocking amout of fog.  Not a single frame of this movie appears to be fog-free.  I think it's supposed to create atmosphere.  Mostly it just makes me want to clean my glasses over and over like I’m searching for Robert Denby.

As thick as it is, the fog cannot disguise just how much the movie's visuals suck.  Ocron's army of werewolves are on the same believability level as bear-headed Ivan from Jack Frost, and leap from above like the cavemen in Starcrash. Mace's bird friends look like if Birdemic had used terrible puppets instead of terrible CGI, and make the same sound.  Night-time is represented by a blue filter so intense it looks like we're filming through jell-o and the exact same colour is used for an underwater scene.  One entire sequence takes place in pitch blackness, and all we hear are monster noises.

And that's not even getting into what these crummy effects are depicting. Angry grass, swamp zombies, a caveman nunchaku fight, chirping cocoon-people... every time you think you've seen the weirdest possible thing, Conquest throws you another curve.  Mace's long hair and the angular symbol tattooed on his forehead look like they're supposed to remind us of Charles Manson, but I can't imagine for what purpose.  There are loving close-ups of oozing pustules covered with flies.  The laser-arrows look like something out of Tron. The music falls somewhere in between 'funky disco' and '80's mellow synth'.  It's all so weird.

You can enjoy the movie purely on that 'wtf' level.  It's especially fun to show it to friends and watch their facial expressions as the movie piles oddity upon oddity.  But if you want something to think about, this movie is actually full of themes and commentary!  Mostly, it's looking at the 'hero's journey' motif and pointing out the weaknesses in it, but there's also an element of Greek tragedy, in that it's impossible for Ocron to escape her fate even when she's the most powerful woman in the world.

Ilias sets out on his quest with no specific goal in mind.  It seems as if he wants to be a hero, but he hasn't yet settled on a heroic deed – he'll take whatever comes his way.  His first attempt at a 'heroic' act is saving a girl from being bitten by a snake, and then he pouts when she laughs at him and runs away, rather than sticking around for the kissing he assumed would follow.  Then, once the action begins, we quickly find that Ilias is terrible at heroing.  He gets his butt kicked by Ocron's trolls, and Mace has to save him.  It is Mace who finds them a way out of the cave when they are lost and trapped, and Mace who goes to find healing herbs when Ilias is poisoned.

This is all totally understandable, though – Ilias is in a strange place, and has no idea where he's going or what he'll do when he gets there.  Although he's a good shot with his bow, he has no combat experience and growing up in peaceful agricultural society has not prepared him to survive in this wilderness of lawless hunter-gatherers.  When Mace warns him that Ocron and her goons are more than he can possibly handle, it seems like he has a good point, and Ilias eventually comes to think so as well.  There is a point when he nearly turns back, actually getting on a boat and setting off for home.

The moment of lost hope is a common part of the hero's journey story.  As the Death Star prepares to fire on Yavin IV, it seems that the Rebellion will be unable to destroy it in time.  The Fellowship of the Ring is nearly broken by the death of Gandalf.  Moana tries to throw the Heart of Te Fiti back into the sea.  In all of these stories, this moment is followed by a turn as the characters find a source of inspiration: Luke hears Obi-Wan's voice telling him to use the Force, and is able to destroy the Death Star.  Aragorn urges everybody to continue on to Lothlorien, where they can rest and regroup.  The spirits of Moana's ancestors show her what she has already accomplished and give her the strength to try again.  Ilias, too, remembers his original goals – vague as they were – and turns back, arriving just in time to take care of the cocoon-people who have crucified Mace and thrown him off a cliff.

Yet even this is kind of a failure, as Ilias is unable to save Mace from downing in the ocean at the cliff bottom.  Instead, friendly dolphins come to Mace’s rescue (in yet another what the fuck moment), and shortly thereafter Ilias is killed by a cave monster! The Callow Youth ultimately fails to defeat the great evil, and it happens because he is a Callow Youth.  Mace, who is rougher and tougher and used to looking after himself in this country, ultimately succeeds because he has the skills and experience Ilias lacks!

Meanwhile, Ocron's own fate is as coldly inevitable as that of Oedipus in Sophocles' play.  As the story begins, she and Ilias have never even heard of each other.  When one of her minions mentions her by name, Ilias doesn't know what he's talking about and has to ask Mace. Ocron herself never even learns Ilias' name, always simply calling him 'the Wanderer'.  She sets out to kill him not because he has actually caused her any trouble, but because her visions tell her that he will in the future.  Yet it is Ocron's attempts to get rid of Ilias before he can threaten her that first bring her to his attention and make him a threat, when he decides this is the great heroic task he's been chosen for.

But Ilias is not the one who defeats Ocron – his death, instead, spurs on Mace to kill her, and this fulfils another aspect of the prophecy.  For one thing, Mace is far more of a 'wanderer' than Ilias is.  Ilias comes from a settled society and intends to return there when his task is done.  Mace, on the other hand, is some kind of outlaw, with the mark on his forehead to denote that he is 'everybody's enemy'. He has wandered for many years and sees no end to it.  Ocron's prophecy is entirely self-fulfilling, and as in Oedipus Tyrannus, it is the efforts to avoid it that make it come true.  She even has a harmatia, a single mistake that seals her doom.  When we look at her visions in light of the ending, we recall that the warrior she saw had no face. It is, instead, the bow of Kronos that is fated to kill her.  Her fatal error was focusing on the wielder rather than the weapon!  

There's way more I could talk about here.  I could go into more detail about how the film uses Ocron's nudity to dehumanize her, covering her face and nothing else. I could write paragraphs and paragraphs about the homoerotic love story between the two heroes and its derivation from the Greek tradition of erastes and eromenos (the names in the story, Ilias, Kronos, Ocron, are almost all either Greek-derived or just intended to ‘sound Greeky’). I could contrast their positive philia with the film's negative depiction of eros as embodied in Ocron. I could boggle over the fact that Mace uses strangers as target practice or wince at Ilias shooting trolls in the crotch.  Conquest is as endlessly fascinating as it is endlessly weird.  I'm pretty sure Lucio Fulci failed at whatever it was he was trying to do with the movie, but man, he failed with style.

[shazyloren]

Discovery (Gendrya/Jonerys fic)

Summary:  Arya wakes up to a bunch of worried text from her roommate Daenerys, she rushes back only to be confronted with something unexpected...

Note: THIS IS A COMPANION PIECE TO FAMILY AFFAIR. DO NOT READ IF YOU’VE NOT READ THAT FIRST. 

The first part is in the link below. 

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/series/814458

--------

Arya woke up to Gendry's moans. She was disorientated at first, but as her blurred vision became clear she could see she wasn't in her own bed but in his at his house. His room was covered in their discarded clothes from the night previous, as was what usually happened. She glanced around his bedroom; still disorientated and noted he'd got some new swords on the wall. Gandalf's sword, Aragon's and Sting. Wow, someone's a nerd, she found herself thinking. As she glanced at the swords closely, she noted a pink string hanging off of Sting. Her thong from the night previous. Shaking her head at how that could've possibly got up there, she turned her head to see Gendry holding his own face; what had he done now?

"Bloody woman" He muttered in annoyance as his nose began to bleed.

"What did I do?" Arya punched him on the leg.

"That. You whacked me in your sleep!" Gendry grumbled at her flippancy.

Arya blinked as if confused before giving a bellied laugh and began to curl over in fits of hysterics. Gendry stuck his free hand up at her; his middle finger prominent and get out of his bed to go deal with his injury. Arya watched his butt as it walked towards the bedroom door; a tiny grin appearing on her small framed face. Damn, he looks good, she thought rudely. She found herself thinking about the first time she saw him naked over two years ago and how her sister had accidentally seen him too. Sansa didn't speak to Arya for a week then; for she was too embarrassed.

Feeling mischevious; she lept from his comfy bed and followed him into the bathroom. As he was observing his nose; she came hopped up on the edge of his bathtub and started running it; purposefully not putting a dressing gown on while she waited. It was the biggest and most comfortable bath-tub she'd ever been in (beside the one in the Hilton Hotel she and Gendry went to for their two year anniversary) and it had jets and different pressure settings.

Gendry owned a House building company and he had recently been contracted to build a bunch of new luxury homes on the edge of High Garden town. They'd finished the build and it was now home to some of the rich and famous from across the globe. As reward, not only had his company made 12 million from it; which was a 8 million profit by the time everything had been paid for including workers, but for helping over see the projects and for 80 hours weeks he was putting in a one point he received a $500'000 bonus. He moved out of his shack apartment and actually bought himself a new house, without the need to take a mortgage out.

So here she was; offering herself to him on the edge of his brand new bath (which was more a Jacuzzi at this point) and he was too busy fiddling with his nose. She coughed; trying to get his attention. He snapped at her then. "Yes, we can have a bath in a minute!"

"Alright, geesh. Nice to go and ruin the moment" She grumbled as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"Ruin the moment? You punched me in the face!" His nose had stopped bleeding but his attitude was still present so Arya just grumbled her way to the living room. She searched for a few minutes before finding her bag kicked under the sofa downstairs. As she opened it everything spilled out; condoms, cigarettes (thanks Jon!), a tampon and finally her phone. It was on 14% charge and she saw she had 8 missed calls and 6 messages. All from Daenerys.

00:42am

Hope you're okay, let me know when you're coming home Xx

01: 09am

Is everything good; have you turned your phone off again? Xx

02:56am

Arya where are you? Xx

03:37am

You're really scaring me, are you at Gendry's? Xx

04:28am

Ffs Arya, answer your phone!

06:39am

ARYA ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE!

Shit. She hadn't let Daenerys know she was alright; that she was at Gendry's. Oh drat she was going to be in trouble. Wondering if she should stay or go back to her apartment she chose the latter not wanting to upset Dany any longer. "Gendry I've gotta go!" She shouted up the stairs looking for her shoes from the night before. "Daenerys has been trying to phone me and has left me a bunch of messages"

"You might wanna put some clothes on then!" He shouted from the top of the stairs. Arya shook her head in annoyance at his obvious statement. She ran up the stairs and went back into Gendry's room and gathered her clothes. She had to jump to retrieve her knickers from the sword. She asked Gendry for his help but he was enjoying the view of her boobs bouncing up and down too much he had said. She threatened to punch him again so he shut up. "I'll take you home; I don't like the idea of someone trying to take advantage of you dressed like that"

"Like what?" Arya's eyes narrowed.

"Like how you dress for me; only I get to appreciate you like that" He smirked. Arya rolled her grey eyes and threw a pillow at him. She snapped at him to get dressed as she retreated back into the bathroom to turn the bath off. It was a shame she wasn't going to get to try it out again.

A few minutes later they were ready to leave; Arya was thankful that Gendry only lived a 15 minute car journey from her apartment; the longer she left Dany fuming the worse it'd end up being for her. They filled the journey with the car radio; the daily news ringing out.

"And in other big news fashion guru, Sansa Stark has announced that she is teaming up with fashion Icon's Gucci for a limited addition range of home furniture. It's the first time in history that Gucci will be making home furniture and have said they are extremely happy to be working with such a fashion forward mind. Sansa Stark's brand House of Stark is set to pocket 400 million from the collaboration..."

"That's my sister!" Arya smiled gleefully. Sansa hadn't been able to give her the full announcement of what she'd been working on but she knew it was something big. "I need to message her and see if I can get my hands on any of it for the apartment; perks of being the sister. Expensive stuff for free!"

"You usually hate what she designs" Gendry laughed.

"No, I hated her Autumn Launch last year; the lions weren't my thing. Her Spring florals this year were great!"

A silence fell over the last five minutes of the journey; Arya looked at the time on her phone 9:30am. Dany had been trying to get hold of her for nearly 10 hours now. She was going to really face the dragon's fire when she got in. She looked out of her window to see the apartment come into view. It was then she remembered Jon getting annoyed with Dany and her subsequently going off to apologise. Arya found herself wondering if Jon was even home; he probably would be dead by now with the rage Daenerys was probably feeling.

She climbed out of the car once Gendry pulled into the parking lot and shuffled to get her keys out of her bag. They walked tot he elevator and rode it to the top; the elevator music droning into Arya's brain once again. She hated it; she'd spoken several times about getting it changed but it was still the same clink of bells and whistles. The doors opened to the second floor. Her neighbour was going into her apartment; when Arya said hello she just grumbled. Arya glanced at Gendry who was covering his mouth to stop himself from laughing.

"Bitch" Arya grumbled once the lady had gone into her house. Arya keyed the door and as it swung open; she prepared herself for a wall of noise.

But nothing happened. She glanced at Gendry who shrugged and so they both stepped into the hallway. Nothing. No shouting Daenerys in her face, perhaps she'd gone to bed after waiting up for so long. Gendry slowly opened the living room door encase she was in the living room and hadn't heard them come in. But again; it was empty. Jon's bedding was on the sofa but nothing out of the ordinary. Jon hasn't been home then, she thought briefly until she saw his t-shirt and trousers from the night before screwed up, half kicked under the chair.

Peculiar. Gendry started laughing quietly; Arya turned and gave him a confused look. He quietly whispered. "Listen"

She didn't hear anything at first, but when she stepped back into the hallway she heard it. Horror befell her face as she tiptoed to Dany's bedroom door and pressed her ear next to it. Gendry did the same thing and suddenly she felt like she was in that one Friends episode where Phoebe, Monica and Chandler are listening in on their Ross and Charlie making out on one side of the wall and Rachel and Joey on the other.

What she heard, horrified her, as muffled as it was.

"God's Daenerys you're so wet" The male voice spoke. Gendry glanced at Arya as it finally sank in who it was. Her eyes were wide and Gendry had to stop himself laughing at her face. As they continued to listen momentarily; she heard Daenerys speak.

"Jon, mmm yes" She moaned, again muffled through the wall.

Arya quickly took her ear from the wall and held her head in her hands. Her brother was fucking her best-friend. Jon was fucking Daenerys. How was this happening? They literally hate each other; she can hardly stand to be in the same room as each other. How did this happen? Gendry had the same confused looks although when Arya looked at him for an answer he just shrugged.

How.

The last she saw of them the night previous they'd been arguing; like usual, at each other's throats. But now; they were sticking their tongues in each others throats and Arya didn't know how to process this. Gendry took her by the shoulders and began to lead her back out of the apartment as her mouth gaped open in shock. He locked the door behind them. not before grabbing on of Arya's cardigans that was hanging up on the wall. They didn't say anything; until the elevator doors closed and they were going down to the car once again.

"Let's go get breakfast" Gendry tried to make Arya forget what she saw.

"WHAT THE FUCK, GENDRY! WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK DID WE JUST HEAR?" She exclaimed as the doors to the front of the building opened and she began to march to the car.

"I believe your brother was fucking your best friend" Gendry said bluntly. "Look what they get up to is none of my business"

"I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW" She shouted some more, hoping the louder she shouted the more sense it would make in her mind. "Look, Dany hasn't slept with anyone in ages; I'm talking nearly a year and now she just so willingly is opening her legs? For Jon no less!"

"Calm down, Arya. Let's go get breakfast and we can talk about it afterwards!" Gendry tried to reason.

"Gendry, I just heard my brother talking about how wet my best friend is, I will not calm down!" She was angry and as she slammed the car door shut as she got in it Gendry new there was no arguing with her. "He better not be using her like he has every other woman since Ygritte!"

"So that's the part your annoyed about?" Gendry found his face screw up in laughter. "You think Dany's too good for your brother?"

"I think Jon before Ygritte would've been good enough, this Jon, no I do not think he's good enough. I love him; Gendry but he has been so reckless, I just don't... like what position does this put us in. We'll be stuck in the fucking middle as the idiots that don't take a side when they go back to arguing"

"True enough, but they're always arguing so it's nothing new"

They didn't say another word about it all day, Gendry just let Arya stew over it while they stayed away from the house. Eventually Arya text Dany to let her know she was coming home (this was about 6pm; she thought she'd have given them plenty of time to stop their fucking and continue to be angry at one another. And so when they re-entered the apartment and Jon was sleeping on the sofa and Daenerys was cooking dinner, the washer spinning with Dany's sheets in, Arya never said a word and neither did Gendry.

They decided to play the waiting game; after all, Daenerys wasn't likely to admit she'd just slept with her enemy.

[polinashinyrockseater]

I need to get lotr book immediately

Gosh I just love book Legolas. He's immortal. He's a teenager. Elrond picks him instead of Glorfindel because he's average and won't draw attention to the Fellowship. He's the comic relief guy and resident Little Shit, but he can also shoot a Nazgul out of the sky in the pitch black like a one-man elf anti-aircraft defense system. He wants everyone to know that he's, like, really old. He forgets the task at hand because he wants to look at trees. His greatest qualities are that he can become friends with anyone and his loyalty is unending. He shows up to Valinor a century late with Starbucks in hand and his dwarf bestie at his side. Iconic.

[cheshireizxpikeveil]

And this is why I love this stupid elf. “ Legolas what do your elf eyes see?” “A venti Pumpkin spiced latte in my hand”

Gosh I just love book Legolas. He's immortal. He's a teenager. Elrond picks him instead of Glorfindel because he's average and won't draw attention to the Fellowship. He's the comic relief guy and resident Little Shit, but he can also shoot a Nazgul out of the sky in the pitch black like a one-man elf anti-aircraft defense system. He wants everyone to know that he's, like, really old. He forgets the task at hand because he wants to look at trees. His greatest qualities are that he can become friends with anyone and his loyalty is unending. He shows up to Valinor a century late with Starbucks in hand and his dwarf bestie at his side. Iconic.

[for-the-writing-artist]

#thinking again of that part in home where Gandalf threatens to set him on fire because he's so annoyed with him

Gosh I just love book Legolas. He's immortal. He's a teenager. Elrond picks him instead of Glorfindel because he's average and won't draw attention to the Fellowship. He's the comic relief guy and resident Little Shit, but he can also shoot a Nazgul out of the sky in the pitch black like a one-man elf anti-aircraft defense system. He wants everyone to know that he's, like, really old. He forgets the task at hand because he wants to look at trees. His greatest qualities are that he can become friends with anyone and his loyalty is unending. He shows up to Valinor a century late with Starbucks in hand and his dwarf bestie at his side. Iconic.