#thinking about how when i saw them in la in 2022 the venue was so small n we were so fucking close to them

[sunmisbf]

stray kids is too big now we need to flop them tickets should be $5

[ecsundance]

My 2024 Sundance Film Festival Experience

I can’t believe we are at the end of our time here at the Sundance Film Festival. It has been such a great ride! Here are some things I experienced along the way.

First, it is important to note that there is so much to do at Sundance and as hard as you may try, you just can’t get everything in that you might want to experience. You just have to come to terms with that pretty quickly, making some difficult choices and fast.

We started off with the film, How To Have Sex, which was an interesting take on consent and dealing with assault and the emotions that come along with it. The film included great cinematography and music selections. Afterwards, in the Q&A, the director said it was loosely based on situations that happened to her and her friends when they were younger. Later during the festival, I saw the short film Thirsty Girl which was also based on the experience of its director. Personal experience is evidently a big contributor to many of these films.

Talks are another great experience and there are many opportunities to attend them. The first one I went to was “The Importance of Casting Directors” which was held at the Impact Lounge. There were three casting directors on the panel. This talk was very interesting, and I learned that casting directors are the only female dominated job in film. The panelists stated that to do this job well, you need to be really good at reading people. They then explained the process of looking at actors and how it has pivoted more online. This has made it possible to see more actors from many places they normally would not have access to if they had been only doing in person casting in say LA or NYC. Afterwards, I met an editor whose wife is a casting director for Hit Man which premiered at Sundance and was bought by Netflix for twenty million dollars. She is also one of the casting directors on this three-person panel. He gave me his email so that I could connect with him at a later date which was very exciting because after listening to this panel, I found that I might be interested in becoming a casting director.

Not only did I see Sundance films, but I also saw many Slamdance films, both short and feature films. One such film was Citizen Weiner. This is a feature film and is about the true story of someone running for City Council in New York and the trials and tribulations that come with running a campaign. They filmed the entire process to encourage other young people to get involved in politics. I think they did a great job. This movie had the whole audience laughing from start to finish, sometimes unable to believe that this really happened.

Slamdance is a great way to meet directors, editors, filmmakers, and others in the film industry. Being a smaller venue, Slamdance provides greater access and is more informal. They are very excited to receive feedback, answer questions, and to provide information, contacts, and resources for those interested in getting into the business. They were very open and communicative which made me feel like this must have been what Sundance was like forty years ago before it became more “Hollywood” with larger budgets, star power, etc. in their movies.

Talks were not the only places to network and make connections. Just standing in line or commuting on the buses allowed you to meet other people. Connections can happen anywhere. I met a gentleman named Rudy outside of the Vulture Spot who has done some acting in Out of Exile (2022) as well as Bloodthirst (2023) and is hoping to do some more. We discussed many of the Sundance Films and he was very interested in my takes on the ones that I had seen. It was a great conversation.

While I was speaking with Rudy, I learned that Will Ferrell would be interviewed at IndieWire for his film Will & Harper which also premiered at Sundance. What a coincidence. My college class was invited by Christian Blauvelt, IndieWire Managing Editor, to come at three o’clock for a tour. Now I know why we couldn’t come before then. Needless to say, Rudy and I went over to Indiewire and below is the picture of Will Ferrell coming out of his interview.                                                              

How cool! This was my first sighting of a celebrity outside of seeing Lionel Ritchie at the Q&A after the premiere of Greatest Night in Pop (see below).

All in all, this was a fabulous trip! I learned a lot, met a lot of new people, made some connections, and it opened my eyes to the many different opportunities that exist in the film industry.

Hopefully I will get back here again!

Ryan McCormick

[calm-and-wine]

(I’ll give you) the best years

part I (moodboard)

Hello lovely people! Here is the start of a little drabble series about Nulu’s future (you can catch up on Down the line here). The biggest thank you to Anna @silverrank​ for editing and giving the best tips. Please come talk to me about those two anytime of day or night!

April 2022

“My mum’s been busting my ass with questions about the wedding. She’d love to help us plan things,” Niall said between bites of his breakfast.

They were in his house in LA, Niall had been putting finishing touches on his new album, while Lucy had a week off before going to Europe for clay season.

“Umm sure, I mean I’d love to have her help, but it’s not like we have a date set or anything. We haven’t even really talked about what we want it to be like.”

They had been engaged for a few months, but had yet to breach the topic of their wedding at all. Lucy quite enjoyed this phase of their relationship. Of course she wanted to take the relationship to the next level - hence the engagement - but after Australian Open, they hadn't spent more than two weeks together. The worst part of it was that those two weeks hadn't even been consecutive, thanks to Niall being busy recording his album and Lucy with playing.

“I know. But I think she’s just excited. And she assured me she doesn’t want to make decisions for us, just help with the organisation, since we’re both busy.”

“She’s honestly the sweetest soul. I love your mum.” Lucy sighed longingly, because she really did; Maura was an angel who had welcomed Lucy into the family with open arms, even when they hadn’t been dating that long. Because of that, she made a mental note to call her, as it’d been too long since their last chat. “Well, how about September next year? I could probably take a bit of a time off after US Open, skip a couple tournaments. I mean, it’s the end of the season anyway…”

“I’m gonna be done with touring by the end of July, so yeah, that’d work. Did you have a location in mind?”

“London,” Lucy said without a second of hesitation

“Really?” Niall looked at her surprised. “No destination wedding? Like a beach or something?”

“Nope,” she said, shaking her head. “London’s home and I’d love to do it somewhere there. Would you prefer somewhere abroad?”

“No, London’s good. I would be okay with a destination wedding, but it would be a pain in the ass with all the guests flying in and stuff. And some people wouldn’t come, so that would be a shame. Look at us, we already have a venue and a date!” Niall said with a big smile on his face. Apparently planning a wedding wasn’t that hard, all you had to do is have a chat with your partner and voila, everything was set!

Lucy laughed. “We do not have a date and a venue, we have a month and a whole city area.”

“Okay, party pooper.” Niall stuck his tongue out at her. “What about people? How many are you thinking?”

“I don’t know, about a hundred?”

A concentrated frown made Niall’s eyebrows scrunch together. “A hundred people for each of us? I guess I could make it work…”

Lucy made a face. “I meant a hundred altogether, actually.”

Niall looked at her with surprise. “Wait, what? A hundred people total?”

“Well, yeah. How many were you thinking?” Now Lucy was the one confused.

“I don’t know, around three hundred or something,” Niall mumbled, picking at his food like he was embarrassed.

“Are you serious? I wouldn’t know even half of them!” Lucy raised her brows and waited for Niall to raise his head, but when he did, he just shrugged. Lucy sighed. “And you wouldn’t even have enough time to talk to three hundred people.”

“So you want a small wedding, then?” he said after a minute.

“Yeah,” she admitted. “I mean, I’d rather have fun with the people that are closest to us than spend half the night wondering if I talked to everyone and if no one feels left out or annoyed I’m not giving them attention.”

Niall hummed, but stayed silent for a moment, thinking it over. “Maybe you’re right. I think we should start making a list, see how many people we come up with.” He had his phone in his hand in a second, ready to type. “What?” he asked, when he looked up at Lucy only to see a wide smile and bright eyes.

She shook her head slightly, but the smile wouldn't leave her face. “It just kinda hit me that we’re really doing this. We’re actually getting married.”

“Are you regretting it already?” he asked with raised brows, but with a smile that matched hers.

“No, but I might, if you actually want to invite three hundred people.”

Niall’s laughter filled the place and she joined him, thinking that she might even endure a night in the company of three hundred people or more, if it meant hearing that laugh and making a man she loved happy.

February 2023

Lucy went dress shopping with her mum, Niall’s mum, Laura, Mia and Natalia. The latter was Mia’s girlfriend of almost a year. Lucy always had limited time in London, so instead of going to a variety of different stores, she looked through an online catalogue of the one they were in, now presenting the five dresses she’d chosen. The first one had gotten mixed reactions from her company, so it was a no. The second was beautiful, but Lucy found the narrow, mermaid style bottom of the dress a little too constricting.

The minute she put on the third dress, Lucy knew her mum wouldn’t like it. And she was proved right as soon as the dressing room’s door opened.

“Oh no, this one brings too much attention to your arms and shoulders and you don’t want that, honey,” said Megan right away.

Lucy didn’t even bother making her way to the mirror in the room, nor did she grace her mum with a response. They’d been through similar situations so many times she’d lost count. The rest of her help committee was rendered silent and she didn’t want to make the atmosphere even more awkward, so she just went and changed into dress number four, losing hope of actually finding one everyone would like, herself especially.

Two out of the pre-picked dresses were nice, the first and fourth one, but none was amazing. Not one made Lucy go, ‘Wow’. Maybe she just expected too much, she always thought that she would just know, she would try it on and just feel that it’s the right one. She wanted to fall in love with her wedding dress; was that too much to ask?

“Let’s maybe look around for a bit? Maybe something will catch your eye, it’s always a bit different than browsing online.” Mia stood up as soon as she saw her cousin’s disheartened expression after looking at her reflection in the last dress.

Lucy smiled with gratitude before stepping down and heading towards the racks full of all types of wedding dresses. The other women joined them, spreading around the room to look through the garments. The group worked quietly, the main sound in the room being the scraping of hangers and background music. Lucy’s attention was brought to whoever called her name to show her one of the dresses, but she mostly replied with a shake of her head. Diana, the shop assistant, was observing the scene, ready to bring whatever was needed or take a dress to wait for Lucy in the changing room.

“What about this one?” Natalia spoke up for the first time since they started looking. Lucy looked up, and she felt her eyes instantly starting to sparkle when she looked at the dress in Natalia’s hands. It was so beautiful and delicate, breathtaking, yet not too much, all at once. She was scared to like it too much right away, before even trying it on, but the thought that this dress might be the one made her heart do a little jump.

“Yeah, I kinda love it.” She gave Nat a wide smile before turning to Diana. “Do you have my size?”

~~~~

After the visit in the bridal shop, Lucy, her mum, Maura and Mia went to lunch. Laura had a meeting about one of her new work projects, while Natalia had a photoshoot location to look at. It was nice to actually spend time with her family and friends and Lucy was relieved that most of their conversation topics weren’t about her wedding. Obviously she was excited about the whole thing, but she had been the centre of attention all morning and it was nice to get away from the spotlight a bit.

After lunch she had a session with her psychologist. They’d been working together for a few years now to make sure she had the right mentality on court, as well as helping with general mental health. As soon as the appointment was over, she had a proper training session with her coach scheduled.

It had been a good day, but when evening came, she was more than happy to be back home, enjoying a quiet evening with a steaming mug of tea and catching up on some tv shows. And when her phone finally rang with an incoming facetime call, she didn’t even try to contain her growing smile. She loved being back in London, but it was always a bit bittersweet if Niall wasn’t around. It didn’t feel completely like home.

“Hi, love.” Niall’s smiling face filled her screen and her heart instantly warmed.

“Hey. Are you leaving for the venue soon?” She could see he was still in his hotel room, shirtless as always and it looked like his hair was wet. He had a show tonight, though - in Chicago if she remembered correctly - so he should be heading out soon.

“Yeah, but I wanted to chat with you for a bit before. Did you have a good day?” He was lounging on his bed, his attention focused solely on Lucy. It was one of the things she loved most about him, especially because sometimes he found it quite hard to focus on one thing, but never when he talked to her.

“Really nice day. It was so good to see everyone and spend time together. I do miss you, though.” She pouted, an action Niall mirrored.

“I miss you, too, Lulu. I’m counting down the days for that week and a half together before clay.” He smiled sadly. They had a few small visits planned, but it was usually for two or three days; they had to wait until the beginning of April for a longer visit.

“48 days,” she said with a smile; she had an app counting the days.

As if to change the subject before the mood became too sad, Niall asked, “How was the dress-hunt?”

“Terrible, at first,” Lucy laughed. “But it got better.”

“I heard your mum made some comments…” Niall said, a bit tentatively.

“Did Maura tell you that?” Lucy asked, at which he nodded. “Yeah, she hates my arms and shoulders, but what else is new. Well, those arms and shoulders got me a spot in the top 10 best female servers for a few years now, so I really don’t care if my mum thinks they’re not feminine enough.”

“I love you, Lulu,” Niall said with a fond look in his eyes. She was appreciative that those were the words that left his mouth, not that she was beautiful; somehow it made her feel better and it was like he knew she didn’t really need that boost of confidence.

“I love you too, baby.” They stared at each other through the screen for a while, giving each other gentle smiles and supporting looks. “I hope Maura didn’t have a terrible time today.” She had to ask... well, indirectly, because she always had this creeping fear that maybe people didn’t enjoy her company as much as she enjoyed theirs. And with her mum making it awkward for a bit and the dress search taking longer than expected, she’d hate to think that maybe Niall’s mum became irritated at some point or would rather spend her time differently.

“Don’t be silly,” Niall said instantly. “She called me today as soon as I’d woken up and wouldn’t shut up about how great you are and how lucky I am to be marrying you, like I didn’t know already. You know she adores you and she felt very honored that you wanted her there. I’m pretty sure she actually texted me the minute you invited her.”

Lucy laughed. “That woman is so cute. Did she tell you about the dress?”

“Oh, you found the dress?” Something in Niall's tone made Lucy raise her eyebrows. A beat of silence followed, before Niall broke it with a sigh. “Well, she didn’t say much, refused to give me even the smallest description, but she did say you look absolutely stunning in it. She also said I’m gonna be completely speechless when I see you in it. I might not be able to say ‘I do’ if that’s the case. Do you think a nod will do?”

Lucy looked at him very unamused, while he cackled to himself. “Why, oh why, have I agreed to marry an idiot?” she asked.

“Oh please, you love my jokes. You think I’m hilarious.”

“I don’t think there’s a person on this planet who’d ever use that word to describe you,” she retorted, though without heat or malice.

They just leveled each other with a daring look until Lucy broke and started laughing, with Niall following suit.

“I really can’t wait to marry you, Lulu,” he said when they calmed down, with smiles still painted on both their faces. “Why haven’t we decided to elope?”

She snickered at that. “May I remind you that not so long ago, you actually wanted a wedding for three hundred people?” She raised her brow daringly, at which he laughed and shook his head.

“Well, good thing I’m marrying such a smart woman; at least she’ll always get my head on straight.”

Lucy let out a soft chuckle and silence engulfed them for a split moment before another thought hit her. “Oh, I told Mia we’re gonna come do the tasting in the week after Wimbledon, she said Monday would be best, cause they’re closed then, so they’d just come in for a few hours for us. You’ll be back then, right?”

Mia was a sous chef at one of the best restaurants in London, so of course they wanted to hire that team for their wedding. Obviously Mia herself wouldn’t be working as she was the maid of honour, but her colleagues would be just fine without her watchful eye.

“Yup, I’m flying back Sunday afternoon, shouldn’t be home too late, so Monday works for me.” Lucy nodded while Niall took a minute to consider something before speaking again. “I’m going to sound like a dick, I know, but is it extremely awful that I kinda hope you won’t become a Wimbledon champion this year?” he asked sheepishly.

She wasn’t offended at all, just looked at him softly, with a little tilt of her head. It just so happened that he was playing this tour’s last concert the day of the women's final at Wimbledon.

“Well, a part of me is kinda hoping I’ll lose early on, so I can come see you at least for the last show,” she said. “Maybe even a couple, if I lose in the first week.”

They shared a look with which they tried to transpire an unspoken message of ‘I miss you’ and ‘I love you’. This was their normal, not being able to experience all of the big moments together, having to make tough choices, knowing when you could be selfish and when to put the relationship first. Some may think that was too much trouble, but through their years together they learned to navigate it somehow. Sure, they still made mistakes and were torn between decisions, but as cliche as it sounded, communication was the key. And neither of them would ever exchange their relationship for something easier. After all, Lucy was a firm believer of working hard on things to truly earn them. And working on her partnership with Niall might actually be the most pleasurable work ever.

September 2023

“Man, you’re actually getting married, that’s so wild!” said Mully clasping a hand on Niall’s shoulder with a big smile on his face. “I mean, it feels like you two has been together forever, so no one really had a doubt that you’d be endgame, but just… You’re actually settling down, that’s crazy.”

“You’re one to talk… Should I remind you that you proposed to Jordan three months ago?”

“Touché,” Sean laughed.

“Can you go see how everything's going out there? And get me some water, please,” Niall said to his childhood friend, mostly because he wanted a minute to talk to his father.

“I’m on it.” Mully gave a salute and left the room with a laugh.

The rest of his groomsmen were out there as well, making sure their partners and plus ones didn’t feel abandoned and giving Niall a moment to breathe.

“Why are you so nervous, son? I thought you were a million percent sure she’s the one,” said Bobby, noticing Niall’s bouncing knee and unfocused gaze.

“I am, I mean I’ve never even been in love like that. I want to spend my life with Lulu, of course I do, but, like, what if things don’t work out? What if we actually won’t last? How can I know that?” he asked.

He loved Lucy with his whole heart and soul, he’d never been more sure about anything, and he knew she felt the same way about him. But some part of him was worried, because sometimes things just didn’t work out, right? Things happened and feelings could change. He was sure his parents were in love when they got married, yet their marriage didn’t last. And so did so many others. Maybe love wasn’t everything and marriage wasn’t the road they should take? Just thinking about losing Lulu was making his insides churn and if he focused on it for too long, he might just throw up his breakfast. 

“Niall.” Bobby came closer and looked at him with a soft, but sure look. “There are simply no guarantees. That’s just life. But let me tell you that I don’t think I’ve ever seen a relationship as strong as yours, or two people so determined to make it work, just because of the love they have for each other. Sure, life will throw all kinds of troubles at you, but I think you’ve worked through a lot of the hurdles already. As long as you’ll stay like this, honest and open and wanting to make it work, you’ll be fine. I’m pretty sure of this.”

Niall looked at him with glazed eyes. His father wasn’t one for inspirational speeches like that, which made it even more meaningful.

“And I hope you know how proud we are of you, me and your mum. For everything you’ve done and what a beautiful life you’ve built.”

“Thanks, dad,” he said, enveloping Bobby in a tight hug.

He didn’t doubt Lucy and their love, he doubted life and happy endings. He doubted just how much goodness and happiness one could get from the universe. His life had thrown so many good things his way already, there was so much luck involved in all of his successes, and he just felt that someday it’d have to turn around and some gloom would take over. And maybe not seeing Lucy since yesterday and spending the night without her brought a bit of self-consciousness and worry. After all, she was usually his voice of reason. They lifted each other up. And deep down he knew it’d always be like that. They wouldn’t let each other fall, and together they wouldn’t hit the ground, because there would always be one to hold the other up.

~~

“I need to see Niall,” Lucy said, when her hair was finally perfectly arranged and she was left in a room with her and Niall’s mums, Mia, Natalia and Laura, who were her bridal party.

“What?” asked Megan, brows drawn together in confusion. 

It was less than an hour until the start of the ceremony. Lucy hadn’t seen her soon to be husband since late afternoon yesterday, as they’d decided to follow that bit of tradition and spend the night apart, with him staying at home, while she was at the hotel with her parents and Mia. She was very much regretting that decision now. They’d texted and talked on the phone before falling asleep, but she still missed him, it was different knowing he was so close, yet they weren’t together. It didn’t feel right. And now, when she was so stressed, not about the whole marrying him thing, but just about the whole ceremony and having all eyes on her throughout the day. At least she was glad that they’ve managed to wrap up the guest list just under hundred and fifty people.

Her and Niall were not supposed to see each other before the big walk down the aisle, but she needed his presence to calm her nerves.

“Can you please ask him to come meet me?” she asked Maura.

She looked at her a bit surprised, but nodded and brought a small smile to her face, even though her eyes looked a little worried. “Of course, sweetheart.”

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad, I just need to see him,” Lucy assured before Maura left the room.

“We’ll give you a moment,” said Mia, squeezing Lucy’s shoulder as she passed, ushering everyone out of the room. Megan gave her an unnerved look, but left the room.

While waiting, she looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing her perfect dress, her hair was done just the way she wanted, part of it pinned up and part left down in soft curls, her face adorned by quite delicate makeup. Everything was just the way she imagined, even better.

There was a quick knock on her door followed by a nervous, “Lulu?”.

She took a deep breath before saying “come in”.

Hearing that Lucy wanted to see him and then standing outside her door, Niall thought his heart might just beat out of his chest. But when he walked in and saw her, standing there, a mirror behind her, a soft glow coming from the window and lighting up all of her best features, he felt like his heart just left his chest. He felt nervous and suddenly calm at the same time. His mum had been right - he was very much speechless, because Lucy looked like a vision.

“Is, um, is everything alright?” he asked, searching for any signs of distress in her eyes.

“Yes, of course. I’m about to marry the most wonderful man in the whole world. I’m a bit nervous, though, and just needed to see you,” she said a little sheepishly. She hadn’t really thought about how it might look to Niall when his mum showed up and said his fiancée wanted to see him, hadn’t considered how panicked he might get.

He took a step closer, not being able to stand the distance between them any longer, especially since he was sure she wasn’t about to call the wedding off or anything like that. When he was close enough, he noticed her hands were shaking and instantly engulfed them in both of his.

“Nothing to be nervous about. It’s just people we know out there. And I’m gonna be there, waiting for you at the altar and then be by your side the whole time. Plus, I have to say, just… wow. You look so incredibly beautiful, Lulu. I knew you would, you always do, but this... this is just a different level. And knowing you’re gonna become my wife today, somehow it just makes you even more stunning.”

When she finally looked at him, her eyes were already starting to water. “You look incredibly handsome as well.” His face finally lit up with a big smile and she almost launched herself into his arms. “Can we share our vows now?” she asked quietly into his ear.

Out there, in front of everyone, they’d decided to go with the traditional vows, to try and not make each other cry. But they both wanted to do their own, special ones. It was agreed to exchange them sometime later, probably late at night, when the wedding festivities were over, but she didn’t want to wait. As they were standing in this small room, both ready, wrapped up in each other, she wanted to be his already. Even if it wouldn’t be officiated, she wanted to have that promise between them already. She wanted to walk down the aisle with his vows playing in her head. She needed the confidence that his words would give her, the reminder of his love and devotion.

“Of course, whatever you want, love,” he whispered. “Do you want me to start?” Even though he didn’t see her because of their embrace, he could feel her nod. He planted a soft kiss on her cheek, right by her ear, before slowly pulling away, but keeping his hands around her waist.

Lucy felt like her heart was about to beat out of her chest. It was fluttering around her ribcage, when she looked at the man in front of her, ready to soak up his every word. Even though her heartbeat might say differently, she wasn’t nervous.

“My Lulu,” Niall started, looking straight into her eyes. He’d use her full name out there for their proper vows, so now, as it was just the two of them, he really wanted to call her by his favourite nickname. “I promise to love and to cherish you every second of every day, no matter what’s going on or where we are, together or apart. I promise to not let you lose yourself, especially not in my own life and dreams. I promise to always be your number one fan and supporter, to always believe in you, always let you shine and remind you how bright you are. But most of all, I promise to be your partner, through thick and thin, no matter what life throws at us, to stand by your side, hold you tight and lift you up. I love you, Lulu and I promise to try to be the best husband possible.”

About halfway through his speech, Lucy’s eyes not only sparkled, but full on watered, tears eventually spilling down her cheeks. Niall quickly wiped them away with a soft smile and a look that said he’ll always be there to do just that. He didn’t even need to say it out loud, she already knew.

Before she started speaking, Lucy reached up on her tiptoes and planted a kiss right on his lips. “Niall, baby, I knew I should have gone first, cause you’re better at words than I am,” she started, at which he chuckled and squeezed her waist encouragingly. “I promise to always make sure you know how much I love you, through words and gestures, to always make you feel secure and confident, just like you do for me. I promise to always have your back, cause we are a team and together we can do anything. I promise to always try to understand you and consider your feelings. I promise to be open and honest, just like you want me to. I promise to never lose sight of how amazing you are and not let you to, either. I promise not to let you sacrifice yourself too much for me, even if you want to. I promise to make you laugh, just like you do with your stupid jokes, and to play with your hair and rub your back when you’re tired or can’t sleep. And I promise to always strive to be exactly what you need. Even though I can’t promise to be the perfect wife, I promise to try my hardest and always be the best for you.”

Just as she was saying the last sentence, a tear rolled down Niall’s left cheek, which she wiped with the tip of her finger, just like he’d done to her a few minutes earlier. She’d barely finished, when he pulled her closer and enveloped her in a tight hug while planting kisses all over her face and neck. This moment was just so blissful, they both wanted to stay in it forever.

Neither of them could even say how long they’d spent alone, after their vows they just stayed in each others’ embrace, sharing kisses every other second, inhaling one another, swaying back and forth on their feet, even though there was no music playing. They were wrapped up in their little bubble of love and excitement. Until there was a knock on the door.

“Please stop mingling in there, you’re supposed to get married in twenty minutes. I can’t believe you couldn’t even keep your hands off each other for one day.” Mia’s voice was slightly muffled through the doors, but her words were still clear. Niall and Lucy shared a shocked look, not even thinking of what anyone might think they were doing (they truly didn’t care), before erupting in laughter.

~~~~

When Lucy was coming back from the toilet, someone pulled her hand before she reached the main room. She turned her head to see it was her husband. He had a wicked smile on his face and put a finger to his lips as a signal to keep quiet, even though she was pretty sure no one would hear them over the loud music coming from the dancefloor anyway. He laced their fingers and led them into a corner of the hallway passed the kitchen.

Niall propped her against the wall, but put a hand around her waist to soften the hit.

“I’ve missed you,” he said, quietly bringing his body closer and leaning in to kiss her cheek before moving on to her neck.

Lucy let out a lovely laugh. It was a sound that he wanted to hear for the rest of his life. “We got married today, baby, we’ve been around each other for hours.” Despite her words, he kinda had a point. Sure, they were always together, holding hands or wrapping an arm around the waist to keep the other by their sides, but they were constantly around other people, listening to congratulations, well wishes and just making conversations with their guests. It was lovely, it was a part of the whole wedding ordeal, and it was their family and friends, who they were so happy to share this moment with, but she did want a minute alone with her husband as well.

“Yes, but I want you just for myself for a moment. You’ve been my wife for hours now and I’ve barely even kissed you. It’s a bit outrageous, don’t you think?” He whispered it all straight into her ear, nibbling on a skin once he was done.

She hummed. “Very much so” she agreed. She grabbed the back of his hair to pull him away from her neck and finally bring him in for a proper kiss. Both of them were hungry for it, their mouths working hurriedly, like anyone could interrupt them at any given moment, which was kind of true in this situation. Niall’s hands were rummaging around her dress, sneaking from around her ribcage to her waist and then travelling down and in this moment Lucy was both glad and mad at herself that her wedding gown was floor length, because she missed the warmth of his skin on her, even though this definitely wasn't the time and place to be doing that. She wanted to do nothing more but rake her fingers through his soft hair, but it was still perfectly styled and she didn’t want to ruin it, especially since it would probably create quite a buzz between the guests.

“Man, I can’t wait until the party’s over” he sighed, throwing his head back, when Lucy pulled away with a groan to force them both to catch their breath. “Is it really awful that I’m saying that about my own wedding?”

“Nah, I kinda feel the same right now,” she admitted with a giggle. At this moment, when they were sneaking around the party for a bit of a make out session, she felt like a teenager with butterflies in her stomach, not an adult with a husband. But there was a certain beauty in that, how Niall could make her feel giddy and excited with the simplest things, no matter how long they’d been together.

“Should we sneak off to the bathroom or something?” he asked with a glint in his eyes.

Lucy chuckled, knowing, well, hoping at least, that he wasn’t actually being serious. There was no way she was having sex with her husband for the first time in some filthy bathroom at their own wedding. Well, maybe not filthy, cause the whole place was very nice, but the sentiment was very much the same. It was not the place (nor time) to engage in marital sex. She and Niall had slept together too many times to count, but both of them wondered if this next time would be different, because of the official commitment marriage brought, if anything would change in their connection. Lucy had a gut feeling it’d be better than any time before and that they’d feel close and connected like never before, although that’d never been an issue for them. Their intimacy always brought not only their bodies, but also their minds and souls as close together as possible.

“Absolutely not,” she said, planting a kiss on his lips to soften the blow. “But we should get back. Theo looked pretty sleepy and I promised him another dance. Also, Harry made me swear to save one for him as well.” She smiled at the memory of sharing a dance with Niall’s ten year old godson not even an hour ago, and at the conversation they’d had with his former bandmates, which involved a lot of teasing of her husband.

“No,” Niall whined languidly. “Why do I have to share you? I’m fine with Theo, he’s a good kid, but Harry can suck it, he has his own girl.” He pouted to emphasize his words, at which Lucy laughed and reached her hand to smooth his features.

“Well, you could dance with Meave or another of the boys’ girls and then we can swap to get back together. I’m the bride, baby, a hot commodity, nothing we can do about it.” She shrugged her shoulders with a smile.

He sighed and pulled her closer to hide in the space between her neck and shoulder, which might just be his favourite spot on her body. “Okay, let’s go, I want to get it over with,” he said after a minute, standing straighter up. The smile on his face and the kiss he gave her before pulling away and lacing their fingers to head back to their party told her what she already knew, that he wasn’t actually grumpy and he did enjoy the night, even if it meant sharing her the whole night. Because in the end, she was his and he was hers and they had a whole lifetime together ahead of them.

Right before they entered the room where most of the guests were gathered, he pulled her to her chest once more and whispered a simple sentence right into her ear, but that few words sent a thrilled chill across her whole body: “Can’t wait for our honeymoon.”

[heliosphoenix]

State of the Planet: 2020 Edition.

I know what you're thinking.

"How can you even think of doing one of these for this year? After everything that happened? You can't possibly be trying to do your little feel-good writeup!" 

Well...you're right. I can't. That's right, State of the Planet is cancelled.

I don't really have to explain why, do I? I have no words to describe this year and I know you don't want to hear them anyway. I understand your anger, your frustration, your sadness, everything you're feeling, I get it.

This wasn't the year you imagined and almost certainly not the one you wanted. Thanks for being there the entire way, and I'll see you next year.

Okay, I'm just kidding. I couldn't do that to you folks, I just wanted to get some more mileage out of a dead meme.

I first started this missive several years ago when I noticed that people were developing a tendency to condense the previous lap around the ol Sun into a series of terrible, horrible, no good very bad events at the expense of anything good that may have happened. I don't know why this was done, maybe as a ways to ensure that the coming year would have to be better by default.

Well...we all saw how that worked out for this year, didn't we?

As you all know I prefer to do things differently. I prefer to go out on a high note and remember all the good things that happened in the past year. If nothing else, I think it helps remind us that as much as we want to bemoan and be pessimistic about the state of our culture, society, civilization and even species, there's plenty of evidence to suggest we're not doing so bad after all.

And even thought it feels like this past year the world went out of its way to teach us some rather harsh lessons, I'm still determined to find something good that happened. So let's take a look back at some of the good things that happened in 2020:

A circumbinary planet was discovered at the TOI 1338 system.

Luxembourg became the first country to make it's public transportation free.

The Bhadla Solar Park became the largest solar park in the world.

The BepiColumbo space probe departed for Venus, en route to an arrival at Mercury in 2025.

A fast radio burst was detected from a Magnetar in the Milky Way, the first time such an event has been detected in the Galaxy.

A team of British and Kenyan scientists discovered a microbe that can block mosquitos from transmitting malaria.

A black hole was discovered in the QV Telescopii system, at 1120 light years away it is the closest known black hole to Earth.

A 425 million year old fossil of a millipede was discovered in Scotland, one of the oldest fossils ever found.

SpaceX launched their Dragon 2 spacecraft on its first crewed missions, the first astronauts to launch from US soil since 2011.

The Perseverance rover was launched to Mars and is expected to touch down in February.

The Barakah nuclear power plant in the UAE became the first operational nuclear power plant in the Arab states.

Wild polio was eradicated from the continent of Africa.

Skeletons of 31 prehistoric animals, including 200 mammoths, were found at a construction site in Mexico City, it was the largest finding of mammoth bones ever.

The 5.37 mile La Linea highway tunnel was opened in Colombia, it's the largest road tunnel in South America.

Kosovo, Serbia, Sudan and Bahrain all decided to normalize their relations with Israel.

Phosphine, a strong predictor of microbiological life, was discovered in the atmosphere of Venus.

Preserved remains of a cave bear were discovered in Siberia.

A 1634 edition of Shakespeare's final play, The Two Noble Kingsman, was discovered at the Royal Scots College's library in Spain.

The OSIRIS-REx spacecraft landed on the asteroid Bennu and collected samples for return to Earth in 2023.

The Falkland Islands were declared free of land mines.

Molecular water was detected near Clavius crater on the Moon. 

An AI algorithm called AlphaFold was able to figure out the process of Protein Folding. 

The UN commission on Narcotic Drugs removed cannabis from its list of dangerous drugs.

The EU committed themselves to reducing greenhouse emissions by 55% over the next decade.

A Great Conjunction between Jupiter and Saturn occurred, the closest one seen in the night sky since 1226.

Comet NEOWISE passed by the Earth and was the brightest comet in the night sky since Hale-Bopp in 1997.

Among Us became one of the most popular games in the world.

Half Life: Alyx was released, the first Half Life game in 13 years (FINALLY).

Joe Biden was elected as the 46th President of the United States.

Remember all that? Good. Because that's where I'm at.

You, dear reader, are in the future. Perhaps you're reading this in the final hours of 2020, or the first hours of 2021. Or maybe so much time has passed that both those years are now confined to the history books.

Perhaps everything I listed above is not enough to overcome all the bad things that happened this year, and that's a fair assessment. Maybe at the end of the day there's nothing that can overshadow the fact that someone in China who ate the wrong bat resulted in the entire world coming to a stop. If that's your feeling, then I understand completely.

But let the record show that those things did happen. In a year full of chaos and uncertainty and anxiety and dread, there were still moments where we could objectively punch our fists in the air and say "yes!" Even if only for a moment.

So now comes the part where I have to take all the things that we just went through and sum it up in a single word. Usually I don't think about this until the day of, but this time I've actually known for months what I was going to say:

The word is...Goodbye.

It sounds both strange and appropriate at the same time, doesn't it? As we close out this year, as well as this decade (reminder that 2021 is the real start of the next decade) we can look back and realize we've had many experiences. Both positive and negative. Hopefully they were mostly positive, even during this year.

But there is at least one experience we've all shared together, especially in times like these: saying goodbye.

I will confess to you all that I have a hard time saying goodbye. Hell, I don't even like the word. Whenever I end a conversation, I always use some variant of "see you later", since, to me at least, "goodbye" just sounds so final. Though with that said, I will also admit there's some people in this world that I had no problem saying goodbye to, and I don't mean "till we meet again", I mean "get lost." And I'd be lying if I said there weren't some people who felt the same about me, but I digress.

In the last episode of his show, Red Green delivered a monologue about saying goodbye. A monologue that I am now shamelessly ripping off for your reading pleasure. Not just because it's a way to get this done quickly, but because I think what he said is very true.

Red says that when it comes to your good friends and your family, you never really have to say goodbye. Why? Because they're always in your mind. And whenever you think about them, you're together again. I can tell you from experience that works rather well, even when it involves people that I don't want to think about. But even in that instance, where our last interaction was a negative one, I can't help but think back to all the good times we had together, and for a moment I reminisce. It's nice when it happens.

We've all heard the phrase "nothing lasts forever" and we tend to dismiss it as a cliché. But we're still constantly confronted with that reality, even if we never realize it. As Al Pacino said in Any Given Sunday; "When you get old in life, things get taken from you. That's a part of life."  

We've all lost things in our lives, and I just don't mean toys that have been sold or people that we love who are no longer on this mortal coil. I'm referring to the moments in our lives where we're forced to accept that our circumstances have permanently changed, and that the way things were can no longer be the way things are. This is why you shouldn't be having kids when you're in your 70's, and no one over the age of 50 should be naked in public.

On a more personal note, this year I got that feeling once again. It's not just because I'm most likely leaving one job behind for another job, but there were things in my personal life that shifted so dramatically that I knew things could never be the same again. And seeing as how, for the most part, I liked how things were, I'd be lying if I said that this change didn't cause me some distress.

But that's all a part of growing up, isn't it? As much as I may cringe about reaching 30 years of life on this Earth, I accept it all the same. Because, if nothing else, it's a reminder that I need to keep moving forward. Is it sad that the good ol days are now just memories and dreams? You're damn right it is. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing, because even if they're not what's happening now, they still did happen. And who knows? Perhaps the days to come will be just as good, if not better. In my opinion, that's something to look forward to.

And the same is true for all of us: if we want to live a happy fulfilling life, we have to keep moving forward. We can reminisce about all the fun we've had in days gone by, but it's just as important to be ready for the days yet to come.

I think that's why New Year's is such a poignant holiday for all of us. It's a tacit acknowledgement that we have to say goodbye to the old, so we can say hello to the new.

And at the risk of making this entry so long that by the time you're finished it will be 2022, I'd like to do that now.

To all the people that have been with me since my early days, thanks so much for all that you've done. I appreciate you sticking it out with me this far and I hope you'll continue to do so for many years to come.

To all the people that I've met recently and have decided to join me on this ride, welcome aboard. We're glad you could make it and we hope you'll stay a while as well.

And finally, to all the people that are no longer here, whether they've merely left my social circle or left this mortal coil altogether, all I can say is that we've had a great run. Whatever our reasons for parting are irrelevant now and I wish you nothing but good fortune in whatever it is you decide to do. Perhaps, God willing, our paths will cross again some day. But even if they don't, I hope that every so often we'll think about each other and smile a bit.

And now I'd like to close with something different. Usually I ask you to comment below with something good that happened to you this year. You're more than welcome to do that. But if you're looking for a change of pace, may I suggest that you close out your 2020 (or open your 2021) by listening to this song from the great Ashleigh Ball and Michelle Creber (yes I know many of you are hoping to leave the Miniature Equines in the past, but I'm hoping you'll permit them one last indulgence).

https://youtu.be/XjkPH6sZM_o 

This is the song that inspired me to write this missive (along with the aforementioned Red Green) and as you're listening, I want you to think about all of those you said goodbye to this past decade. Think about all the fond memories you had together and give yourself a smile as the clock strikes midnight. Even if they're not with us today, we still have all the memories of them that no one can take from us, no matter what happens to the world.

And now the time has come for me to end this missive. Let the record show that this was my final word on 2020 as well as my expressed hope for charity, kindness and goodwill to flourish throughout the world in the years to come.

So, good night unto you all.

Give me your hands, if we be friends

.And 2021 shall restore amends.