#think i'll just do that actually. i need an actual reason to change my bedsheets so i stop putting it off

[sodafrog13]

tired tired tired

[riderofblackdragons]

Like An Ill-Fitting Costume

Day 21: Body Horror | tattoo gun | spirit possession | "let the bedsheet soak up my tears"

Day 21! So fun fact, this was written towards the start of the month, and is most likely going to be my only Supernatural entry for whumptober. What can I say, Star Wars and TVD have a hold on my heart.

This has non-binary Lucifer, and is unconnected to any of my Supernatural AUs. I just felt like writing this lol

If anyone has any specific AU they want more of, send me an ask or something and I'll see what I can do :)

Hope you enjoy!

Vessels still felt strange, Lucifer decided. No matter how often they wandered, how long they stayed, their vessels felt odd, and changing them didn’t seem to help much. It was just so much to focus on: not just moving their own body, but moving another’s in time with theirs as well.

It created a slight delay, they’d found, between what they wanted to do and what they ended up doing. But their body was too fragile to last without one, and so they still needed the vessels.

Not a human one, they’d decided early on. Escaping their cage had made them glad to be free, and no longer trapped in such a small enclosure. Humans were the reason they were down there to begin with (well, amongst other things that Lucifer preferred not to think about just yet (or, if they had the choice, ever)), and they did not wish to try to be one as soon as they were out.

Both Heaven and Hell would likely expect them to possess a human as well, Lucifer knew. It hadn’t had any impact on their actual decision making, but the longer they could keep both off of their back, the better.

Besides, humans were so… Different, compared to angels. Too much in some areas, not enough in others. Limbs on limbs, all attached and moving independently of each other… It had been so much to focus with. The last time they'd had a human vessel, Lucifer had been accosted by a pair of priests anyways.

And really, the exorcism was unneccessary. They didn’t know what they’d done wrong, but clearly it had been something, given all the fuss. Lucifer was glad to give that body up, in the end, even if it had been a good hiding spot.

(That poor child, crippled for life. Their fingers would never go right again, their knucklebones sharp enough to cut through their skin. They could never smile, for their grin would stretch and stretch and stretch, until it nearly reached their ears.

The devil had removed their left leg, below the knee, leaving behind the skin covering and the blood vessels. Maybe in a different time, it would have been operable, but no anaesthetic worked to dull the child’s mind, and the flesh hanging off of their knee had to stay.

They’d caught a glimpse of hell, and their blood turned to ice when their eyes closed. It was a miracle they’d survived being Lucifer’s vessel at all, even though it was just for a few weeks, but it had never felt like it afterwards.

The child grew to an adult, and held their memories only in their sleep, where they dreamed of poking and prodding and grabbing at their leg until the insides vanished).

Really, Lucifer hadn’t appreciated it. So, non-humans it was, for now. And nothing that would go near a human willingly, either. Lucifer refused to be a dog or a cat - if they wanted to do whatever, they couldn’t have nosy humans coming around and trying to stop them.

A bird, they’d decided on in the end. Something that could fly. They’d missed flying, all the atoms in the universe flowing through their wings. Lucifer’s time in the cage had dulled their memories, but they could still almost feel the brush through their wings, racing other angels around the solar systems.

Nothing here could compare to it though, they knew. A vessel would numb their senses, make it impossible to truly feel like it was before, making the experience never as good as if they didn't have one. Still, needs must, and Lucifer knew that in all likelihood, they would never fly again with a vessel. This small thing, the slightest feel of the breeze through their wings, might be the closest they’d ever get to what they used to have.

For though Lucifer could not bare to look at themselves, they knew what they would see if they did. Their once-bright wings, now dim and tattered, barely any feathers left clinging onto the appendages. There was no part of their being that was not battered and bruised, their Fall and the cage having shredded them apart so many times that they could barely remember what they were Before.

The few feathers remaining did not even so much as glow, the sharp light having dimmed in the darkness as the cold consumed their being. Lucifer's pride, shown to them over and over, destroyed in endless cycles until they'd done anything to make it stop.

Ripping out their feathers, blinding their own eyes, it was but a fraction of what they'd done to try and stop their torture down there.

And now they were free, and they did not know what to do with it anymore.

Their vessel's wings were small, far smaller than what their true form had. A swan, proud and elegant, beautiful black wings settled fully on their back. The arrogance in the creature made Lucifer ache for who they used to be. Their essence had spanned planets, was definitely bigger than this one, and barely able to be contained by it - yet now, they could fit into even a baby chick, and still have room leftover.

Lucifer had lost so much of themselves to the cage. Their smaller size only proved it. Once, perhaps in the beginning, they would've planned on destroying earth. They would've taken a little human vessel, perhaps even their true vessel. Maybe they would've even started destroying their vessel, the longer they stayed in it.

Or maybe they would have faked it, artificially breaking their vessel down to make themselves appear weaker. Give Michael the apparent advantage, in their destined battle, even if it wasn't true.

Said battle didn't matter anymore. Lucifer was free, but it had taken so long. Too long, for them to even remember why they had to fight their brother again. Lucifer's insides had been carved out and flipped around inside the cage, too often. There was simply no energy left in them, to be able to fight their older brother anymore.

They did not want to fight an older brother they barely remembered anymore, one who had delt them wrongs long vanished from their mind.

No, let Heaven and Hell think Lucifer still on Michael’s level, capable of perhaps defeating their brother. They would have known the truth, and maybe Michael would have too, in their fight, but Lucifer had no interest in fighting now. They would hide, and bide their time, and enjoy the sun on their wings.

And they would pretend like they didn’t want to scream, to bite and yell, as the wind brushed their wings in a mockery of what they’d once had, activating pain in places they could barely remember being able to feel.

Tag List: @captain-effy @what-the-fuckis-happening @robininthelabyrinth

If anyone wants to be added lmk!

[mythoughtsforyourpenny]

April 13, 2023

i guess the story starts when we were watching love is blind

we had covid

i kept meaning to text you

the last text I ever sent you was to tell you that he tested positive

you responded with emojis

the special emoji you would use for him

and your purple heart

no actually

i just checked again

and it was actually two hearts

green, not purple

with his special emoji in between them

I responded to you with two hearts

purple, not green

nothing in between them

nothing after them

nothing of note before either

nothing that matters now

i kept meaning to text you to tell you i was positive too

i didnt send you a video of the apartment because it was a mess

i wanted to wait until we put it together to show you

can you see it now?

i think you'd like it

you would like the color

when i changed your bedsheets after my dad left you said you liked the flowers because they felt happy

with the unspoken regret that you had not been before

but this story isn't about him

i guess in a way they all have been and will be

but not this one

at least not yet

we were watching love is blind

i had left my phone in the other room

we were sick

i was in and out of fever

i didn't tell you

you didn't ask

i guess you didn't really even know that i was sick

i didn't tell you

you didn't ask

my phone had been in the bedroom for about an hour, maybe a little more

we were sick, we had no plans, it was a random thursday

i remember specifically thinking

who would be texting me anyway?

and not bothering to even really remember that the phone was over there

who would be trying to get a hold of me anyway?

one episode ends and starts to autoplay into the next

he stands up, probably to go to the bathroom or get water

"baby, can you grab my phone from the bed?"

he gets it

hands it to me

"thank you, love you"

or maybe that's what i want to remember saying

it's a story i'll tell myself for the rest of my life

probably to strangers

i don't think i've really told it to anyone else so far

he knows

he was there every moment of it and every possible moment since

i'm so glad you met him

i'm glad he helped you fix that drawer that had been bothering you for so long

i'm glad he made you laugh

i'm glad i heard you laugh together

i'm glad you whispered to me when he was in the other room

"i like him"

i'm glad you and i both giggled when we heard him singing in the bathroom

while he were fixing something for you

it's a bum deal for him, but i'm glad he's been here with me

and his response would be

"there is nowhere else in the world that i would ever want to be"

i know he would

because he has

and probably will for the rest of our lives

"thank you, love you"

i look down at my phone

missed calls

a lot of them

from my grandpa

from my uncle

call after call

text after text

please contact us, it's urgent

"oh no oh no oh no oh no"

"what?"

"my grandpa tried to call me a bunch of times"

oh no oh no oh no oh no

i call my grandpa

i'll learn over the coming weeks that we don't get signal on our new couch for some reason

i have to go to the window in the dining room

i have to stand next to it when i hang up on my grandpa and call my uncle instead

when i put my phone on speaker so the love of my life standing behind me can hear everything and i won't have to relay any information

when i continue to get calls on and off throughout the night

from detectives

and a funeral home

and my grandpa again

and the days after when i make the outgoing calls

to the funeral home

to the mortgage company

when the stranger a million miles away in the middle of our conversation tells me he's sorry for my loss and says

"if you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

as it turns out, i do fucking mind

because at that point you don't even really know

i wasn't there, you see

i was sick

again

for the second time when you needed me

but that's a story for another day

so there i am

in front of that damned window when my uncle says my name in the slowest way i've ever heard anyone say my name

like an apology but i don't know what for yet

but of course i do

i've imagined this day and these worlds a million times

when my brain slips into autopilot it's where i'll wander to often

in all my scenarios i never imagined it would be my uncle to deliver the news

"i have some news. your mother's passed away"

i don't stop saying what for at least two minutes

i don't remember any other words

i turn to look at him

his eyes are wide

his mouth wider

his beautiful, messy, sickness ridden curls fall sloppily in his face

this days old tshirt wrinkled, laying lazily over his torso

his hazel pupils full of fear

then tears

i'm still stuck on my word

"what?"

what what what what what what what what what

i manage to start to add happened to the end of it

they don't know

she had been sick, they say

the last couple of days

no one had bothered to tell me

you didn't tell me

i didn't ask

she had been falling again

she fell that morning

when i talk to my cousin later she'll tell me she asked if you wanted to go to the emergency room when her and her husband went to pick you up from where you had fallen

you told her no, you had a telehealth appointment the next day

when you had your abscess you said the same thing

you said it didn't feel like an emergency room situation

"she never wanted to be burden" we'll all agree two weeks later in my grandma's house

in your mom's house

after the second day cleaning out your house

but that's another story for another day

you didn't want to be the next person that the family had to take care of

so much that it killed you

as it turns out, i've had quite a bit to take care of since you died

so joke's on you i guess

actually, i just remembered

the phone sometimes works when you're on the couch

because when the detective is telling me about transporting the body i choke out,

"she's not the body she's my mother"

"i know this is just another day at work for you, but she's my mother"

i think you would have been proud of me

maybe you were

maybe you are

maybe you can't feel anything at all where you are

i think i'd trade that for you, if it means you can't feel the pain anymore either

maybe you would trade it too

i wouldn't blame you

wherever you are, i hope you can still hear me when i talk to you

i'm sorry

i'll be sorry for the rest of my life

i love you

i'll love you for the rest of my life

and probably a long time after that

[kpop-dungeon-dark]

Heat. (Bestfriend!Sanha x You)

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Non-Con. Both of you are legal in this. Read at your own risk.

Sanha couldn't help it. She was just so pretty. Too pretty. To him. The way her eyebrows furrowed as the girl tried to concentrate on the chemistry equation she was solving under his guidance, chewing on the butt of the pencil and sighing when she couldn't get it right, the adorable little whine releasing from her mouth. His eyes slowly flickered down to her soft looking lips.

He wanted to kiss them. So fucking much. For so many years now.

The lovestruck boy didn't even realise when the lines between fantasy and reality eventually blurred, him leaning in and kissing her soft yet tight, his lips sticking to hers, refusing to go almost. Sanha was so carried away by the heavenly feeling that the loud gasp that escaped Y/n against his lips drowned in the pounding of his heart was that was ringing in his ears.

"... Sanha… Sanha!" It took him a few moments to snap out of it, Y/n pushing at his chest as her body backed away from his much bigger and broader one. "Sanha!" He opened his eyes to see her frowning at him with a disapproving expression. "I- I told you…" Sighing heavily, she uneasily put her books to the side and stood up. "I told you that day when you- you- I don't feel the same way about you."

The boy's jaw clenched as he looked up at her, backing away from where he was leaned in as he softly grasped the bedsheet of his bed. "Why not? And… how are you so sure, even, huh?" She was unable to notice the pretty vivid change in his tone and posture today. The girl didn't know better. "We have been inseparable ever since we can remember, we know each other so well and we get along so well!" Standing up in irritation, he towered over her, eyebrows furrowed and shoulders slowly rising and falling due to the change in his breathing pattern.

"Sanha- Sanha-! I know! I know!" Y/n nodded and agreed, trying to speak over him as he continued to ramble on, trying to convince her in whatever way. "I know! And I am sorry! But you're just- not my type, Sanha! I am sorry!" His heart fluttered in an unpleasant way and stomach twisted at how her eyebrows furrowed in worry.

"Oh, really?" Sanha stopped trying to convince her, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants instead and leaning down at her. "So you have grown up well enough to know your type, huh?" The blush that spread across her face followed by his words made his jaw clench. "My little Y/n is all grown up and wise now, hm? No longer requires my guidance or help deciding what she needs?"

The girl sighed at his taunting tone, oblivious to what was about to come. "We have an amazing friendship, Dana. Don't mess it up, please…" Looking down to avert her gaze from his because for some reason she just couldn't look in his eyes, the girl bit her lip. "You of all people know that I like the guy who lives in the house next to mine."

"Dongmin. Lee fucking Dongmin, huh?" Hatred laced the boy's words as his mind started to imagine the mentioned boy's pretty and kind face all broken and bruised; beaten to a pulp.

By of course no one other than Sanha.

"Don't be like that!" Giggling a little, she pushed at his shoulder playfully and sat back down, pretending to be busy with the books. "Come, help me go over these notes and stop sulking! Besides, yeah. I am old enough to know what I want now, Dana! I can't always rely on you and wait for you to guide me how to do simple daily life things, right?"

"Wrong." It happened so fast Y/n's brain couldn't even decipher it. Sanha pushed the books away and off the bed with such force they went flying away, one of his hands grabbing the girl's throat as he climbed the bed, dragging her shocked body to the middle using the grasp he had on her. "I am and will always be the one to tell you what to do because you're way too pathetic and dumb to know that on your own." A deep chuckle left him as her eyes widened and legs started kicking when the shock subsided, replacing it with panic.

"S- S- SAN- SANH-"

"Aww, not so big now, are we? Tsk tsk." Tears welled up in her eyes when she looked up at him to find a foreign expression on his face. A smirk of betrayal with dark and cold eyes looking her up and down. "Fuck… I've always wondered how these pretty looking privates of you would feel in my hands, babygirl" Sanha didn't have to use much strength keeping her in place as he climbed over the girl's smaller body, instantly groping and feeling her wherever he could, not getting much bothered by the hits and scratches her small hands were giving him.

There was so much Y/n's little hands could do against the giant.

"P- Please… please… no… please stop… You don't have to do this" the girl heaved in exhaustion as she begged Sanha, trembling and crying as she could feel his hands under her hoodie and down her shorts, squeezing and pinching wherever they pleased.

"You're right, I didn't." Pulling the string from her hoodie, the boy dragged them closer to the headboard sickly calm, ears red and erection so hard it poked the girl's thigh even through his boxers and pants. "This is YOUR fault, you hear me? YOU did this to YOURSELF" his voice was soft but rough as he punched the words in her brain, tying her hands to the headboard using the string while knowing it would be enough to easily hold her down.

"Had you cooperated and just obeyed me like little girls such as yourself fucking should instead of trying to do any thinking on your own" shaking his head, Sanha moved back down to her body, pushing the hoodie up until it bunched around her neck, big and warm rough hands tugging off her shorts roughly. "A chance… That was all I asked for."

A sob escaped the girl as the male spread her soft thighs apart, smiling as he admired her pussy lips, probing and spreading them. "Such a pretty cunt." He found himself loving the whimpers and cries escaping her, grazing his thumb up and down her folds, it's tip feeling her tiny and unused entrance, making the girl jump by spitting on it before starting to work it in.

"S- San-"

"Shhhhh~" messily stuffing her shorts that were a bit too short for his liking, the male gave a sensual lick to her soft and red pussy lips, kissing them right after and chuckling at how her thighs trembled from the feeling. "Fuck, Y/n. You've no idea how much I've wanted to tie you up like this and eat you silly before fucking you dumb as you whine and cry in pleasure, begging me for more."

Y/n tried to break free, her wrists starting to burn against the string due to how fragile her skin was. "Mmm… I promise, babygirl. By the time I am done with you, you'll be wrapped around my little finger on your knees for me." Stroking the outside of her thighs, the male shakily breathed out, crotch grinding against the mattress that they had spent their childhood playing with their toys on.

"Hnnnggg… you like it, don't you? Fuck-" Sanha looked up, his face drenched in her natural juices and his own spit, heavily breathing as he searched her face for an expression, eyes dark. "You taste so much better and sweeter than I imagined, babygirl." He went back to admiring it, playing and teasing it with his index finger, other hand continuously caressing her thigh.

It was surreal. After all these years of imagining this over and over in different scenarios and circumstances, it was finally happening. And this. This was better than all that he had fantasized.

So sweet. So soft. So… real.

Sanha could feel his head start to pound from the need and intoxication his own hormones were putting him under, now teasing her asshole with the hand that had previously been on her thigh, just wanting to feel it, feel her. All of her.

That was his. Finally.

"So tight… fuck!" Rubbing her clit with his thumb and circling her navel with his middle finger as his hand was big enough to do so, Sanha fucked her pussy hole open with the hot tip of his tongue, trying to force it in and deeper, circling the rim of muscles with it. "Now tell me, tell Daddy, it feels fucking amazing, doesn't it? Daddy is making you feel soooo good, isn't be?" Pushing one of his middle fingers up her entrance instead, the boy moved up now, removing the shorts from Y/n's mouth causing her to gasp aloud for air.

"S- Sanh- Sanha-" a sharp smack across her cheek locked her throat up again, forcing a cry out of her throat instead.

"It's Daddy" grasping her soft locks, he pulled her hair back to make the girl look at her better and glared down at her. "You must speak to your owner and caregiver with respect, little one." Pressing a wet kiss to her lips, the boy hungrily ran his tongue around them, moaning and sucking at them. "So, tell Daddy now. Tell him how good he's making you feel…" Y/n winced and cried harder, clenching around his rather thick finger on defense.

"P- Please… please… I am s- sorry! Stop! Please! Please, just stop!" His eyebrows furrowed as he pushed another finger in, stretching and stimulating her from the inside, thumb grazing against her clit.

"Are you telling me you don't feel good? This doesn't feel good? Daddy isn't making you feel good?" His voice was alarmingly soft and… deadly. But the innocent girl was too foolish to know that, of course.

"N- No… No… I- I don't! Stop, please! It hurts!" She honestly pouted, tears rolling down her cheeks as she tried to struggle weakly, actually expecting him to stop.

"You leave me no choice, then." Pulling his fingers out of her, Sanha didn't pay any attention to the shaky naive little sigh of relief that left her, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants before pulling his cock out and smirking. "If being nice isn't gonna get me anywhere," gripping her throat, he shakily moaned and pumped his cock, pressing the head to her opening. "Then I won't." Giving a powerful thrust in Y/n's pussy which tore due to his girth, the boy crazily grinned.

"I'll simply get my pleasure and lock you up until I need you again. Just how you're meant to be. A pretty doll, all for me."

.

[justanotherlifeff]

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm. DETAILED SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER

Levi POV

She just got naked infront of me. "What the hell (Y/N)?!" I exclaimed trying to look away from her but my eyes failed me. She was small and had curves exactly at the right places. She had a firm breast and ass. The view she gave me made me more turned on that any other woman ever got me. I still had to control myself as I didn't want to hurt her.

"What? Don't you want this? Don't you like the way I look? I need to know that you won't go running back to another hoe. I need to know if you're satisfied with me" she whispered in a strained voice. "Trust me, it's taking all my effort to not take you right now but I can't do this. You're not ready. You're trembling. I don't want to hurt you (Y/N)." I tried to reason with her. In response, she came close to me and kissed me. I froze in her embrace unable to think of what to do about it. She removed her lips from mine and whispered demandingly, "Aren't you the one who said Eren that he had to make the choice that he believed that he won't regret? I just took your advice and made a choice. Do it".

I looked at her with wide eyes and asked, "Are you really sure?". My body was losing control as I stared at her smooth skin, her (B/S) shaped body, her (E/C) eyes and soft lips. "Yes but I need to use the washroom. Could you wait for a minute? " she answered with a hint of blush on her face. "Okay. Wash yourself down there" I murmured as she went off to the washroom as I sat on the bed to process everything. Before I could change my mind about everything, she returned and stood in front of me with a bashful expression.

Her expression told me that she had no idea about what to do. I stood up and trailed a finger to her vagina. It was dry. I knew she was scared and I knew that I had to ease her up a bit so that she won't regret it the next morning. She hugged me as I rubbed her clitoris and I could hear her ragged breathing. "Lie down on the bed" I told her as she listened to my instructions.

(Y/N) POV

I expected pain from the begining but Levi heichou's touches weren't painful. They made me feel somewhat weird and weak at my knees. When he asked me to lie down, I knew that it’s time for the painful part. I did as he asked me to but after that, he did some very unexpected things. Firstly, he pinned me down and kissed me. As he kissed me, he used one hand to continue the rubbing on my clitoris and used another hand to start massaging my one of my breasts sometimes pinching and rubbing the nipple.

My mouth made embarrassing sounds inside his involuntarily. After continuing that for a while, his mouth moved to my neck and kissed there. I never had my neck kissed before and I realised that I found it very pleasant. I could feel a wetness form on my vagina. I usually had this problem while reading erotica novels. They sugar-coated sex a lot. I knew how painful it was.

I heard heichou whisper in my ears, "I'll leave some hickeys on your neck. You don't mind do you?". "No I don't" I gasped as his finger actions on my clitoris and breast was messing with my breathing patterns. I felt him suck on my neck bruising it. It painfully delicious and I surprisingly enjoyed everything so far. I was questioning my experience already when heichou went down further and started sucking one of my breasts while massaging the other. I felt sensations that I never knew, I blushed furiously because I assumed these were shameful acts preserved only for erotica novels. Having heichou do these to me further contributed to that annoying wetness along with a dull pain inside my vagina. It was pleasant nonetheless.

This went on for a while and just when I thought things couldn't get better, heichou went right down to my vagina and gave me a big lick there. The light moans that were escaping my mouth for so long turned into louder ones as heichou continued licking. I felt my heartbeat increase and my body twitch when heichou suddenly stopped. "You're wet enough. I'll start with fingers" he murmured looking at my exasperated face. I was liking what he was doing before. I knew inserting finger hurts. However, when heichou did it, it didn’t hurt. I realised that the wetness helped him slip in.

I felt an awkward sensation. I felt... Full? He inserted another finger and I gasped as the sensation increased and my the sense of being full increased. Then to make my body go crazy, he started moving the two fingers sending of volts of pleasure all over my body. I felt my insides clenching again after a while when he stopped again. I saw him unbuckle his pants and pull his rock hard member out. It was big and I was sure it would hurt more than anything I ever experienced. "It might hurt at first cause you didn't have sex for a long time. Just tell me to move when it stops hurting" he instructed and I nodded because I was too nervous to form words.

He moved his hands from my body and used them as support as he continued to pin me down and position himself. He then used one hand to guide his member inside me. I felt a sharp pain as he inserted it slowly. I grabbed his hand to ease myself as he leaned down and kissed my neck to distract me from the pain. I felt him hit the end of my vagina, which gave me a weird sensation along with the pain. He didn't move as he continued to kiss my neck. The pain surprisingly stopped in a matter of moments. I remembered his instructions and whispered him to move. As he started moving, I felt a slight discomfort which was replaced by immense pleasure in seconds. The erotica novels were right.

The sensations that were flowing from my vagina to every other part of my body was hindering my ability to think and I felt myself loosing my mind. I had no words to describe this. He moved slowly and steadily, in and out as louder moans escaped my mouth. I wasn't controlling any of my actions now. It was him making my body do all sorts of embarrassing things.

Back in the underground, I remembered being forced to call out to those men as they enjoyed it for some reason but right now, I felt the need to call the captain out. "M-master please..." I gave out a strained moan. However, the captain abruptly stopped to that and looked at me with wide shocked eyes. "What did you call me?" he asked. All my senses returned to me as he stopped and I felt beyond embarrassed which made a few drops of tears leave my eyes. "I-I'm sorry. That's what I was taught when I was young. I don't know what I'm doing" I stammered. I saw heichou's eyes soften as he said, "I'm not your master. You don't have a master, (Y/N). Don't call me that." he said as he kissed my tears away and continued his pace.

"L-levi Heichou?" I tried to continue as I was loosing my mind again. I saw him smirk as he said, "As much as that turns me on, I want you to call me Levi. Just Levi. Whenever we are alone, I'm just Levi to you except for special circumstances". I didn't waste any time now as I moaned, " Levi, faster. Please.". He listened to me and picked up his pace as I grabbed onto his hand moaning his name out to keep a grasp onto my sanity.

Levi POV

Watching her orgasm was quiet amusing. She had no idea what was happening and she was trying to hold it back because she thought she will pass out. I had to instruct her to let go and it took a while for her to trust me. I came a while after she did. This time, I came faster than usual because her expressions were so raw that it turned me on more than anyone ever did, her vagina was tight and her small body was really easy and comfortable to handle.

We laid down for a while till I decided that we were filthy as we both sweated a lot and she had semen all over her. She was tired and passed out moments after we were done, so I had to pick her up and bath her and myself at the same time. I changed the bed sheets too and when I felt like things were clean enough, I placed her on the bed and got in beside her myself. She snuggled next to me and for once in my entire life, I felt happy.

The next morning:

I woke up to find (Y/N) sitting on the bed staring at the bathroom door and thinking hard about something. She covered her bare body with the bedsheet. Suddenly, I felt a stab of fear in my mind. Was she regretting last night? "(Y/N)? You okay?" I asked as I moved to sit beside her. "Yeah I'm fine. I was just thinking" she replied. I didn't beat around the bush and asked her, "Do you regret last night?". She looked at me and smiled and answered, "Of course I don't regret it. I was just confused. Last night was so much different from every other time I had sex. I felt like I am a protagonist in an erotica novel last night.".

"You were raped (Y/N). Last night was actual sex. Before that, your body wasn't developed enough for this. The people who did that to you deserves to be castrated." I answered with a sigh. She actually thought it was going to be something like her previous experience? I felt a pang of guilt for not letting her know that it wouldn't be like that. She probably was scared the whole time until the actual penetration began. I, however, admired her bravery. It was one of her many qualities that made me notice her.

"Did you enjoy it?" she asked me without looking at my face. "Yes. It was a lot better than any of my previous sexual encounters. I suppose I'm more into small women than tall now." I answered her. She still wasn't looking at me. I was looking at her, waiting for a response when I heard a soft sniffle coming from her face. I immediately turned her face towards me to find her crying softly.

"What's the matter? Are you okay? Did I hurt you last night? " I asked her panicking. "No you didn't." she consoled me. "It's just, I wish I never experienced anything before you. I want to forget everything that happened before." she said as her crying intensified. Just as she completed that sentence, she was crying like a baby. I didn't know how to comfort her so I instinctively hugged her. I remembered my mother doing this when I was sad. That was a long time ago and I never used this on anyone so I hoped this would work on her. I heard her muffled cries as I felt her tears wet my chest but I didn't let go of her. She cried for a long time before calming down slowly. I still didn't let go of her even when she was calm. She didn't try to get away from me either.

We laid down on the bed holding each other till someone knocked the door. I had to let go of (Y/N) as she ran into the closet to wear some clothes. I walked into the closet to pick a pant of mine with her and when I was done, I opened the door. The hotel manager was standing outside.

"Captain Levi, I had to speak with you" he said formally. I moved from the door as he came in and sat on the sofa of the living room. "It has come to my attention that Ms (L/N), who is staying with you has hit one of our sex workers. I'm aware that you know about it too as you were in the scene and we both know that it was Emilia. Now, I don't want to know if there is anything between you and Ms (L/N) but starting a bar fight isn't an appropriate thing to do..." he said before I stopped him and said, "Before you continue, you should hear our side of the story. Emilia tried to force herself on me even if I tried to politely push her away. I had to be rough with her only because she wasn't getting the message. Ms (L/N) tried to reason with her and said her that I’m not interested but she insulted Ms (L/N) and body shamed her. You should take these into account, Mr Davis".

"I see. Well, you do have a point but letting you stay in this hotel for now would only raise rumours about you and Ms (L/N). I'm sorry but I don't want my hotel to have a bad reputation for bar fights." the manager concluded formally. Before I could reply, I heard another knock at the door. I excused myself and opened the door to see a panting military police cadet. "Levi heichou, Commander Erwin has regained consciousness!" he informed.

"He's awake?" I heard a surprised and relieved voice behind me. (Y/N) stood there with a smile on her face. "Yes. Go pack. We won't have to stay here anymore now anyway" I commanded her as she slipped back into the room and started packing. "Well, I'll give you time to pack and I'll arrange horses. Good day" the manager said to me and walked out of the room. I went to help (Y/N) pack our bags.

To be continued...

Taglist: @reality-is-often-disappointing, @kingtamakimurder

[wild-springflower]

Old Enough to Know I'll End Up Dying (It's Torture to Love You)

Hoooo boy has it been a while. I actually honestly forgot that I posted this on here... the best place to get reliable for any of my works would be on my AO3, for which I shall provide a link!

But sorry this took so long, here is chapter 3! 

Pt 1

He wanted to be angry, he really really wanted to be angry. But there would be a time and a place for anger, the hospital room with Christopher sat atop his lap and gripping his shirt like a lifeline was neither of them.

It had been almost five days, and Buck had scarcely left the hospital room. The others tried to get him to leave, but aside from watching Christopher, Buck had nothing else to do with his time. And he refused to leave Eddie alone. The others still had their job to do, Buck had no obligations, nowhere to be. Except by the side of a hospital bed.

Occasionally Eddie would show signs of stirring, but so far it had all been false hope, little mumbled words, shifting under the bedsheets. He hadn’t actually opened his eyes. And each time Buck felt his spirits drop a little more, his heart sink a little lower. He wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to stand it, how many more times he’d be able to reassure Christopher that everything was going to be okay.

Day six they decided it was time for Christopher to go back to school; even if he wouldn’t be able to concentrate, sitting in the hospital or at home all day wasn’t doing him any good and he’d already missed too much. Although the staff was being very understanding. Perhaps more understanding than they had a right to be, seeing as how Buck had implied the injury was sustained while Eddie was on the job.

Day nine Bobby had visited the hospital and practically forced Buck to leave, promising he would stay and call him immediately if anything changed. So he and Christopher spent the day playing with Legos and listening to cartoons on the tv. The story they’d started what felt like years ago sat untouched by Christopher’s bed, neither of them having the heart to continue it. Buck thought Christopher was maybe leaving it until Eddie could come home, until things could go back to normal. Whatever the reasoning was, Buck respected the kid’s decision and didn’t push him on it.

The morning of day ten was when Buck felt the last bits of himself shatter. The two of them had fallen asleep on the couch, it wasn’t always the most comfortable place to sleep but it was easier for the both of them if they were together, and Buck didn’t feel comfortable climbing into Eddie’s bed.

Around 4am Christopher woke up crying, as he had almost every night since the incident.

“Hey, hey buddy, it’s okay.” Buck soothed as he attempted to detangle himself from their mass of blankets.

“Excepts it’s no-not, i-is it?” Christopher hiccupped. “W-we don’t even-even know i-i-if daddy’s gonna wa-wake up. Do we?”

Bucks’ breath escaped in one large rush, and he felt like he’d been sucker punched in the solar plexus. Before he could reign his emotions in there were tears streaking down his cheeks. “Hey no, we can’t think like that.” He whispered wetly, pulling Christopher in for a tight embrace.

“What’s gonna happen if daddy doesn’t wake up?” Christopher asked, his voice a little steadier although Buck could still feel tears soaking into his shirt.

Buck bit his lip, “I don’t know.” He said.

Christopher’s grip tightened on his collar, and he sniffled, breath stuttering. “Will- will th-they take m-me away? I don’t wanna le-lea-ave you.”

“No, no baby no.” Buck pulled back, large hands clasping Christopher’s shoulders tightly. He stared into Christopher’s eyes, waiting until Christopher looked back before he spoke again, maybe the most serious he had ever been in his entire life. “No matter what happens they are not taking you away from me. I will never let anyone take you away from me okay? I promise.”

Christopher nodded, ducking back against his chest and hugging him tightly.

Buck sat for a moment, breathing deeply, almost unable to process the conversation they’d just had. It wasn’t right, it shouldn’t have ever had to happen. And again, Buck felt anger boiling in his stomach. With a deep sigh Buck kissed Christopher’s head and squeezed him just a little tighter in his arms, blinking up at the ceiling to try and stop more tears from breaking past the dam.

Normal visiting hours at the hospital didn’t start until 10, but they’d been given special permission to visit whenever they felt the need to, Buck was pretty sure Bobby had done some sweet talking, and Christopher’s puppy-dog eyes had certainly not hindered the process. Still, he figured a full breakfast before they left was a good idea, seeing as how the food at the hospital was hard to stomach on a good day. Needless to say, Buck hadn’t had a good day in quite a while.

Eggs were the easiest thing to make, and the only thing he’d really learned to perfect before Bobby had gotten too busy to continue their cooking lessons, Buck had always meant to ask when they could start them up again, but something always seemed to get in the way.

The sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon when Christopher started pushing his food around on his plate, having only eaten a couple bites.

“Not hungry?” Buck asked.

Christopher just shook his head, staring sadly at the table.

“How about you take a couple more bites and then we’ll head out, sound good?”

Christopher perked up at that, “To the hospital?” He said softly.

“Yeah, but you have to eat a little more food, deal?” Buck felt slightly hypocritical as the last thing he wanted to do was shovel more food into his mouth, but he knew the both of them had to keep their health up for when Eddie was finally better.

“Deal!”

A little over an hour later found the two of them pulling up to the still fairly empty hospital parking lot and given the time of day it wasn’t hard to find a parking spot near the door. Sometimes Buck would grab the handicap pass, but he never liked to leave it in his car. It felt too permanent, less like he was watching Christopher for an extended period of time and more like things were changing. And he was not ready for things to change.

The nurses on their floor were all familiar with them by now, and all adored Christopher, so it was easy to distract him when he saw the doctor standing in Eddie’s room.

“Hey buddy,” Buck whispered, kneeling down so he was closer to the kid’s height. “How about you show Claire your drawings you made real quick.”

Claire gave him a gentle nod before also kneeling by Chris, “I would love to see your drawings buddy!”

Buck stood, mouthed a ‘thank you’ before he jogged over to his friends’ room. “Hey doc, is something wrong?”

Sophia had long brown hair that she always kept pulled back in a bun and smart green eyes that spoke of years of study, she was the best doctor in the hospital for their current predicament, and Buck found he trusted her easily. “No, nothing’s wrong, I was just checking the readouts. You’re here early.”

Buck shrugged sheepishly, “Couldn’t really stay distracted at home.”

“Listen, Buck, I know that this is hard for you. But this isn’t unusual for the type of injury sustained. Right now, just try not to worry. And, if anything changes, you will be the first to know. And we will cross that bridge if we get to it but worrying too much about what-ifs is just going to drive you crazy. Okay?”

Buck nodded, “I’ll try my best.” He smiled weakly.

Sophia gave a sad smile in response, “I’ll see you later.”

Buck watched her leave, his heart filling with warmth as she stopped to say hello to Christopher; he was always amazed with the way that kid could brighten anyone’s day, even when he was living a nightmare.

But his attention quickly turned back to the bed, and all the beeping machines. With his hands in his pockets Buck stepped closer and stared down at the face he was sure he had memorized. “You need to wake up.” He said.

“Hi daddy!” Christopher called from the doorway, announcing himself before he fully made it to the bed. It allowed Buck half a second to wipe away any stray tears and school his features.

“Come here buddy,” Buck hoisted Christopher onto his lap in the chair next to Eddie’s bed, “how about you tell your dad about the pictures you drew?”

Christopher nodded enthusiastically, pulling one drawing out from the small pile he’d brought with. “This one is us, and we’re all playing video games together.” He paused to pull a second picture on top, “And here we’re at the dog park, I know you said we can’t get a dog of our own, so I thought we could go there and just pet some!”

Buck chuckled at that, smiling at the drawing of a little Christopher petting what was potentially a black lab. “That looks really good bud!”

Christopher flashed a grin up at him before moving on to his next drawing. “And this is all of us at the beach. It’s still a little scary to be close to, but I know you like the beach daddy, so I thought I could be brave for you when you wake up and we can all go. As long as Bucky feels safe there too.”

Buck was saved from having to try and force his choked-up throat to function by a knock against the door.

Christopher turned around and smiled broadly, “Carla!” He called happily.

“Hello sweetie, how are you?”

Chris shrugged, “Alright.” He said a little more somberly. The shift made Buck’s heart ache.

“Come here.” Carla leaned down and pulled Chris into a quick hug, before her attention turned to Buck. “And you, how’s my other sweetie?”

Buck shook his head, but the affection made him smile, “I’m okay. Hey buddy, Carla’s gonna take you out for a bit today.” He leaned in closer with a smirk and a wink in the caretaker’s direction, “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m pretty sure you can convince her to buy you ice cream if you ask really nicely.”

The thought at least made Christopher smile a little wider, and he nodded his head before wrapping his arms around Buck’s neck. “We can come back later?” He whispered in Buck’s ear.

“Yeah of course buddy, I’ll be here.” Buck promised, squeezing his arms around the small frame. “Say bye to your dad okay?”

“Can I hug him?”

“Course.” Buck stood and helped Christopher maneuver over to the bed.

It was a little clumsy, but Chris was able to put his arms over Eddie’s chest without touching any of the wires, “I love you daddy.” He said, before allowing Buck to set him on his feet.

It took less than three seconds after he was left alone in the room for Buck to break, broken sobs pulled from his lungs as his cheeks streaked with tears. “God, Eddie I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

Buck sniffed, covering his eyes with his hands and trying to get his emotions under control. He was just glad he was alone in the room. “Shit.” He cursed with an exhausted sigh. He once again looked at Eddie’s slack face, and barely resisted the urge to brush his fingers along the bruised cheek. “I need you to be okay.” He said, because Buck knew one thing for certain; if Eddie wasn’t okay, he didn’t know if he could ever get over it.

The minutes ticked by one at a time the same way they always did, each one feeling longer than the last. Eventually Buck gave into temptation and laid his head against the slightly scratchy bed sheets he’d grown all too accustomed to during his own extended stays in the hospital. His eyes slipped closed and he was asleep not long after.

He awoke an undetermined amount of time later to a foreign yet strangely familiar sound.

Buck sighed tiredly, blinking the sleep from his eyes and sitting up to glance around the room in search of the source of the noise that had awoken him from his impromptu nap. His heart stuttered to a screeching halt, and all thoughts of sleep vanished immediately as he saw Eddie shifting on the bed.

Buck waited with bated breath for any sign that he wasn’t going crazy, and sure enough a couple seconds later Eddie’s face scrunched up and he groaned. Or maybe it was closer to a grunt. Whatever it was, it was new.

“Eddie?” Buck called, his voice fluttering with nervous excitement.

Eddie’s head shifted towards his voice and Buck felt his hands start to shake, he was getting a little lightheaded.

“Eddie, come on buddy, open your eyes for me.” He licked his lips, praying, “Please.”

The seconds once again felt like they were taking hours to slip by, but in actuality it didn’t take all that long for Buck’s pleas to be heard, and subsequently answered as Eddie forced his heavy eyelids open.

Concern seemed to flash briefly through those eyes as they looked at where Buck was standing over him, but any other emotions were quickly clouded by confusion. “Wha-?”

Buck felt himself sag in relief, a breathless laugh that probably bordered on manic escaping past his lips. “Oh, holy shit, Eddie. Oh my god it is good to hear your voice man.” He sighed.

“What’s happening?”

Eddie’s voice made Buck wince in sympathy, certain it hurt worse to talk than it did for him to hear it. “We can talk about it later okay? I’m gonna go get your doctor.”

And with one last glance and barely contained smile Buck turned and left the room, for the first time feeling a slight lift in his step and the budding hope that maybe, just maybe, things were finally going to be able to settle down for a while.  

If only he knew how wrong he was.

[punkscowardschampions]

Sick Kids Group Chat

sonmychest: 🤗 tigerbalm: 👋🧡 tigerbalm: it's been so long! 🙀 how are you?? sonmychest: I know! I suck sonmychest: don't want to be the youtuber spending ten minutes apologizing for not being here though sonmychest: I'm doing pretty good right now, how are you? 😚 tigerbalm: it's a bad day, not a bad life...is what I would caption if I was an instagram influencer or something 😸😸 brainpain: 🦸 speaking for me when I haven't streamed in days LOL sonmychest: 🤭🤭 sonmychest: at least we have reasons for being that #extra that aren't the vague notion of NEEDING a break from taking pictures of our ☕ brainpain: I do spend LOTS of time in a dark room but not for 📸 no flash photography PLEASE 😵 inandout: your feed just updated, Lo brainpain: 👮🚓🚨 sonmychest: stalking or hacking? sonmychest: either way I might need those expertise brainpain: I had a 🌈✨🧁 FIGHT ME, Zachary tigerbalm: it is pretty tbh inandout: friend request, but it's not as if I don't have zero hacking or stalking skills sonmychest: wait, what happened to the anonymity rules??? sonmychest: where's @gotspoons and what have you done with her?! inandout: you missed the overthrowing of a tyrant inandout: not really, but the rule book is gone gotspoons: going to pretend I was summoned by mention, not notification gotspoons: say how you really feel, Zach! 😔 inandout: I said not really, rowboat gotspoons: I have 👀 and 👂 everywhere so you better be nice 😏🤭 gotspoons: but no, hi again, @sonmychest! we missed you! gotspoons: it seemed the whole no names no real life details thing was more of a hindrance than a help to the whole goal of this group, so we came to the conclusion by majority, and the higher ups were all okay with it, providing everyone under a certain age got their parents to sign off and we all used the same common sense we use on other areas of the web gotspoons: so feel free to introduce yourself by real name if you would like, but it's not necessary if you would not 😊 gotspoons: reintroduce, I should say tigerbalm: we shared selfies & everyone was 😻😻😻 brainpain: learned what a sex god @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously aka Rich is sonmychest: 😱😱😱 sonmychest: can't believe I've missed so much sonmychest: need to get better at socialization, my mammy is right 😂 brainpain: an unrivalled love story brainpain: not that he's here to back me up on that inandout: Paris and Helen who? Romeo and Juliet who? Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII who? tigerbalm: wait, those are all 💔😿!! brainpain: he's being a brainpain: insert a swear word of your choice sonmychest: *stage whispers* it's not jealousy though, is it? sonmychest: clearly, fill me in on all the nuances whilst I frantically try to find a picture of myself that's even one 😻 brainpain: he's a 👶 you already know brainpain: but Rich will be leaving me for some uni girl 🤓 so he's not wrong about the doomed part sonmychest: face that launched a thousand ships is a really great insta bio though sonmychest: right, so we have Rich, Zach...who else? gotspoons: Rosie here 🤗 brainpain: Lauren tigerbalm: & me, Robyn inandout: the new girl who started the revolution is Zelda inandout: @ihatemyguts sonmychest: no way sonmychest: a fellow nerd, or at least child-of-a-nerd sonmychest: 'cos I'm Kara and I don't totally hate this photo [selfie] tigerbalm: 😻😻 tigerbalm: you look so like I imagined you, except I thought maybe you'd be 👼 tigerbalm: should we all send new pics? brainpain: [does because any excuse] brainpain: they'll be buried tigerbalm: [a selfie that's even shyer than the first one she sent] gotspoons: [the same photo as before] inandout: if I must [some ridiculous selfie] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: This is a nice welcome back tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and I've only been to physio brainpain: NOT ready for another selfie drop from you, boy brainpain: I'll be on my fainting couch brainpain: also hi tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Perhaps I should save your 🦴s and my pride when poor Kara, hello again btw, has to pretend to swoon too brainpain: 🦸 has great taste brainpain: we all love a shy boy tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: My teachers undoubtedly wish I were shy, make their lives a lot easier tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: [a photo] here we are anyway, I hope you found a soft surface suitable for you, Lauren brainpain: ☁ tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Ah, so you're the 👼 brainpain: LMAO 😈 brainpain: but you're looking angelic sir sonmychest: how are you ALL so cute sonmychest: this keeps happening, omg tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👼 face hides a multitude of 😈 sins apparently inandout: but reading between the lines, who else is making you swoon/stalk/hack inandout: that's my question tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Well spotted, Zachary 🔎 sonmychest: 🙈 ugh, I'm so embarrassing sonmychest: but we can pretend it's all spilling out now because I played it SO cool in the actual conversation, right 😬😅 inandout: that's the official story, everyone'll confirm sonmychest: thanks, I need the backup so I can also pretend I have lots of friends and a normal social life gotspoons: we are your friends, Kara! gotspoons: though are normal is different from most tigerbalm: & you're coming to my birthday party & even though you have to stand on the other side of the room to Zach, it's still social tigerbalm: OH & we were talking about potentially meeting up!! All of us brainpain: keep it 6ft, children inandout: I'll be in the garden with my date, you can have the indoors with yours inandout: collectively, because we're all speed dating here now inandout: proud of you for picking someone outside this circle sonmychest: GAH so much exciting information today!!! sonmychest: 😁 sonmychest: obviously, I figured no one needed the drama of me falling for you, Zach sonmychest: 💀 not cute inandout: there's already a book and film about it, the chance has been thoroughly missed brainpain: Ignore him, Zelda's nothing but thrilled to find someone else in her age bracket brainpain: 👶👶 brainpain: hit us with your 💞 please sonmychest: well, I didn't just re-log into this chat today, I went on all my old forums because well, boredom, we can all relate, right? sonmychest: what I thought would be the least promising one was the sonmychest: not a dating site, I'm not 100 but you know the kind sonmychest: anyway, the CUTEST boy starts talking to me and he's also really funny and nice ??? tigerbalm: OMG! Did you swap selfies there too? sonmychest: not yet sonmychest: because he sounds so 😻😻 sonmychest: and he wants to talk to me again and he might not if we do tigerbalm: you're 😻😻😻 Kara brainpain: what she said brainpain: + if he's as funny, nice, all of that, as you said brainpain: I doubt he's a shallow jerk inandout: are you a good judge of character or not? inandout: what it comes down to sonmychest: oh, thank you guys! sonmychest: I don't know sonmychest: I think I am sonmychest: he didn't immediately come out with weird requests or weird 📸 of his own and that's a massive start on that site, I was honestly there to 🗑 my account but he changed my mind brainpain: I'll PM you the spooky stories my sister sends me about guys, it'll make you feel better brainpain: you'd know if he was one sonmychest: 🤭 do, can compare notes sonmychest: we honestly just talked about totally normal, nerdy things, it wasn't even a little sketch brainpain: ✉️ + 100000000s brainpain: hold up tigerbalm: that sounds 🧡 & so does this boy tigerbalm: awwhhh sonmychest: [sends the description he sent her slow your roll gal lol] sonmychest: assuming he isn't the archetypal internet weirdo from the 90s scare tactics tigerbalm: WOW inandout: tall, dark and handsome inandout: original sonmychest: okay, I know that covers a lot of bases sonmychest: but someone has to be brainpain: continuing to ignore you, Zach sonmychest: I get it though sonmychest: it's not like I even care what he looks like though, so even if the pics aren't exactly that description brainpain: not every man can be my Rich but doesn't make them 👹/🤡/👻/👽/👥 brainpain: trust your gut, it's not that body part that's failing you tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👹 is a solid representation but the hair needs to be longer tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: at the risk of making myself or Zachary appear like overly protective boys, I think as long as you're as sensible as you surely are with this, then there's no harm in the back and forth tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: so if you were going to meet this person IRL, he could perhaps come to the group meet-up, that would be a good way to do it? brainpain: *🧝🏻 that's what needs to be said about your representation tigerbalm: Great idea, Rich! 😺 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: when the beard comes in I'll look more Gimli than Elrond but I'll take the compliment 👽 babe from outerspace brainpain: who's watching the LoTRs with me? gotspoons: count me out, I'm the worst film buddy ever 😴 ihatemyguts: how many naps could you have in 20hr28mins assuming we're watching everything extended release 'cos duh ihatemyguts: 🥳 go hard or go home 🥳 brainpain: that's you in ihatemyguts: of course ihatemyguts: long since stopped asking for a pause every time I gotta 💩 ihatemyguts: adept at catching up with the plot is a life skill I didn't expect to gain like this but 🙌 gotspoons: 😅 I could do the whole 20hr28mins and that not be a record for how many hours I've slept consecutively brainpain: I'll act it out for you, I can get the 🧝🏼🏹 costume together during the pauses brainpain: dressing up box runneth over sonmychest: 🙋 dibs Arwen sonmychest: my old Katniss cosplay can be repurposed with some bedsheets and a 👸 vibe to it brainpain: that makes Rich your daddy 👀 you, babe sonmychest: 😖😳 nooooooooooo brainpain: I'll be Galadriel if only so I can speak to my man telepathically 💕 brainpain: swerving off book for that love connection ihatemyguts: obviously eye of sauron ihatemyguts: jokes write themselves inandout: hair of a hobbit wig so likewise inandout: and you know, a jew, gonna be the one to handle the 💎 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: How hairy are your feet, a pickup line that doesn't get thrown about enough inandout: not sending you free feet pics inandout: PM for prices though tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Respect the hustle, Zachary tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but I have clearly pledged myself and my allegiance to an e-girl already 🧝🏼🏹 brainpain: changed my Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim name to Galadriel for you, Richard, you've officially made me basic brainpain: will cite it in the divorce tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as long as I can proudly produce said divorce to every mouthbreather that calls me a freak, I am okay with that tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: devastated, naturally 💔 but okay brainpain: hit me up for multiple re-marriages at your convenience, I like that for us tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Make a solid livestream 👰💒🤵 gotspoons: I'll get officiated! tigerbalm: imagine if any of us actually did get together cos of this forum gotspoons: You never know, Robyn gotspoons: it would be so adorable 😊 tigerbalm: Kara is giving me hope that online dating doesn't have to be a minefield sonmychest: don't give up yet! sonmychest: you're so lovely, a total catch tigerbalm: there still isn't a blushing 😸 emoji & I NEED it ihatemyguts: a travesty ihatemyguts: who do we need to @ for that brainpain: @fibrofog brainpain: he was a BIG DEAL ihatemyguts: 😏 hoping he comes back and I can 👰💒🤵 him obvs brainpain: 🔺 between me/him/Rich was prime in my life ihatemyguts: glory dayz brainpain: if he doesn't show up to stop our first wedding ihatemyguts: Zach won't even properly date me until we're confirmed #foreveralone at 18 inandout: you don't call this properly dating? inandout: @Kara you've got yourself a hater before your romance has fully taken off ihatemyguts: oi, don't drag me in to your 🧂 behaviour ihatemyguts: I'm very nice, I swear inandout: that's just how I taste inandout: she knows brainpain: if I didn't know my CF facts I'd be calling for a ban brainpain: that sounds filthy sonmychest: first declaring Rich my daddy, now 👅 Zach 😲😲😲 sonmychest: I'm also quite nice but not that kind of nice, I 🤞 tigerbalm: I don't think I wanna know.... inandout: But I'll tell you inandout: when we sweat, we lose too much salt, one of our many flaws inandout: on a hot day, you could lick us and taste it, if we like you enough to let you sonmychest: maybe that can be enough of a selling point? sonmychest: if crush boy talks to me again and it invariably comes up inandout: he might get to see it crystallise on your skin, not 💎 or ✨ but hey sonmychest: such a sexy condition, when you leave out all the mucus inandout: ZZ top is feeling it, she wants to properly date me ihatemyguts: 🧂 is a flavour I can enjoy pretty unrestricted ihatemyguts: let me have some pleasure tigerbalm: do the normies flirt like this too? tigerbalm: Kara you'll have to tell us, when you go further undercover ihatemyguts: don't know how lucky you are to have that pickup line in your back pocket ihatemyguts: just add tequila and a lemon and you've got a good time sonmychest: I'll 100% report back, providing he doesn't go 👻 brainpain: you need a drink when a boy lovingly strokes your hair only to feel the dent in your 💀 sonmychest: but also, to work out if your amazing hair is real or nah brainpain: I have too many split ends to be asked if it's a wig sonmychest: I ✂ my own sonmychest: and not often enough 😅 brainpain: don't reach for the bleach cos Robbie sees you as a blonde, there's my sisterly/old lady advice sonmychest: oh God, with these brows? sonmychest: I can swear I won't do that, along with meet up with internet randos alone brainpain: I'd volunteer to come along but I don't do disappearing into the background brainpain: would wear a trenchcoat for the right 💸💸 gotspoons: Normies definitely TRY to use our disabilities as a way to flirt with us, with varying success gotspoons: the amount of time I spend in bed is nothing to be 😏 about, honestly gotspoons: even if I was also chiming in to confirm blondes do have more fun, when they've had all their vitamins, a perfect amount of sleep, the stars have aligned JUST right... 🤭 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as resident ♿ user, they most ask if IT 'works', which is a bizarre level of care for people who aren't concerned about how me getting into their establishment really 'works' tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and, my dear, you are a terrible third wheel tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🔻 suits you better than obscurity 😎 brainpain: but I am a fun time with the TBI having increased the impulsiveness + removing the few inhibitions I did have 😉 brainpain: inappropriate sexual activity is a listed symptom 🤞 boys ihatemyguts: definitely a case of 'okay when I point it out to embolden myself, creepy if you do it' ihatemyguts: think some normies point out their flaws to be endearing but idk, is low-key a disability superpower guys, + 1 for us brainpain: like, what does that mean? Inappropriate for who? Answers on a ✉️ please ihatemyguts: could range from, science, you're being a prude to calling you a master criminal on the low brainpain: so many of my symptoms could describe anyone in their teens or early 20s brainpain: Rich, write a smart boy uni essay on it tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: depending on the bit that gets damaged, could be the same part that isn't yet fully developed in young people tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: checks out 🧠 brainpain: you're SO clever brainpain: you'll be fighting off more than one 🤓 girl tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm not sure about that, on either count tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: though the chair is a useful battering ram when it needs to be brainpain: I'm into it tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: then you can hitch a ride, of course brainpain: reserved™ tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: the parking is unparalleled brainpain: not allowed to drive, you are my transport now, no pressure gotspoons: Me either, who can? gotspoons: need to work out the carpool situation brainpain: my housemate will, she owes me 10000s of favours inandout: + my parents tigerbalm: mine too but they're a lot to inflict upon anyone sonmychest: ^^hard same tigerbalm: maybe we get ourselves there unless someone can't? tigerbalm: & those people speak up sonmychest: That makes sense to me brainpain: ok, is there anyone who needs a lift? ihatemyguts: I'm good tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: likewise gotspoons: I'll make a permanent post where people can register interest in the meet-up, as well as need for a lift gotspoons: so anyone who can offer a lift, can respond there too, sound good guys? 😊 inandout: cool inandout: very un-tyrant like gotspoons: thank you, Zach 😏

[thatmommygf]

There's nothing wrong with my life. On paper, there's absolutely nothing wrong with my life. Nothing about my life is wrong. There is nothing wrong with my life.

I have to keep telling myself that over and over and over to make it true. It's been one of those nights. Since I was 13, I can recall times, just in the middle of the day, where I'll just get randomly sad for no reason. There's always a reason, but on the surface it feels random.

Something is wrong with my life. Something is wrong with my life. Something is wrong with my life. Something in my life is wrong. It feels like my mission in life to find out what that is.

Simultaneously, I know that nothing is wrong with my life and that a lot of things are wrong with it, both at the same time.

I could go on and on about the sociological or physiological reasons for that, but when you give external factors as reasons, I think it discounts how someone is feeling right now. It doesn't leave room to talk about how you feel about that. Those reasons make all your feelings null and void, since if you change those external factors, most likely, the bad feeling in your head will go away. But sometimes you just need to talk about how nothing makes sense and how everyone is a piece of shit while simultaneously feeling like you're the biggest piece of shit for not appreciating your friends and family who are really just nice people who care about you.

Sometimes it all gets a bit too much. And if those external factors can render your feelings null and void, then doesn't that relieve some of the pressure? At least, at least you know it's not you. Just like happiness. People think happiness is the ultimate purpose in life. But I've come to understand that happiness doesn't matter all that much. I've come to understand it as truth. Happiness is just another emotion, just like sadness or excitement or contempt or fear or even complacence, yet we put so much stock into it. It's kind of relaxing once you realize you dont have to worry so much about being happy. Go on, give it a try.

What I have given up on is trying to understand my future. I gave up trying to predict it too. All that is useless. I really have no idea what I'm doing at this moment in time, and in a way, that's actually exciting. I don't know when I started getting so hung up on the future that I forgot to appreciate the present. It's nicer when life moves more slowly. We can fill our days with more interesting things. Small things. And that's one thing that we, as humans, have to relearn in the 21st century. Remember as a child, how you would marvel at the bugs moving among the blades of grass? Or try to look as close as possible at your bedsheets and see all the little fibers and how they connect? Or draw pictures of all your friends together as teenagers? No? Was it just me who did weird things like that?

In any case...

I feel like I've fucked up so so badly. The worst one in my life yet. The same problem keeps arising. The same one, over and over, for the past 6 months.

How can I love 2 people at the same time? I always thought it was impossible. But I guess I've just been ignoring what's right for so long that I don't even care anymore.

Forrest Gump❣️

[sheepydraws]

I'll Kick Your Ass! I'll Kick My Fiancee's Ass! I'll Kick My Own Ass! (9/11)

From: DeanK@nsj

To: All Students

Aloha, everyone!

I know some of you might be thinking that spring semester is a misnomer when the ground is so covered in snow, but I assure you all that before long the snow will melt, the buds will bud and suddenly you’ll all be too warm to think straight, instead of too depressed like y’all are now!

[Lists of activities this semester, including a concert and de-stressers before finals week]

I wish to be transparent with you all when I admit that the case of the illegal duels has gone cold over winter break. If anyone has any information regarding them, please come to my office any time between 4 and 5pm Monday through Friday, or send me an e-mail. I promise that your identity can be kept a secret if you so wish.

On that note, have a cool semester!

Koadchi’s Journal,

Amir Kahn

Senior. Captain of the rythmic gymnastics team.

I sent her an e-mail over winter break,

And she actually replied.

She’s sweet.

But she’s still trying to sell me on gymnastics.

Says we’ll need a captain when she’s gone.

Says I have what it takes.

Says I have perfect form.

Says I have drive.

Says I’m right about how the sopranos should have ended.

Says her mom’s a good cook

Talks and talks and talks

And I all I want to do is listen

She wears oversized red flannel

She fought Ranma for Akane

Everyone wants to know if she likes girls

I want to know if she likes me.

From: NabikiTendo

To: TKuno

YOU CHODE

All those flowery words and you purposely misinterpret things? Katara was supposed to be with Zuko! ‘Too dark’? How about writing a show about a global war where massive destruction and genocide took place? Is that too dark?

Zutara is thematically consistent, but they watered down the ending for people like you who think everything has to fit into neat little boxes.

From: TKuno

To: NabikiTendo

Nabiki Tendo, I would admire your insistence on thematic consistency if you hadn’t begun this debate by declaring that Zuko and Katara would have ‘hotter’ sexual encounters.

I still say that the true beauty in a sexual encounter is how it acts as an extension of the relationship. For some reason many people insist on portraying sex as gritty and dark, but Katara and Aang could likely have fantastic sex because they would have it on crisp bedsheets, in a well lit room, with ample time to enjoy each other.

From: NabikiTendo

To: TKuno

Life isn’t always, ‘crisp bedsheets’ and ‘well lit rooms’, Kuno-babe. Sometimes it’s damp caves or fluorescent lighting. That’s when you want someone with you, and that’s when Zuko would be there for Katara. That’s why Kataang is so unrealistic. If you can only get it up for someone on a bed made with clean sheets can you ever really be there for them?

Facebook Messenger

Akane: Fight Ranma Again

Ryoga: No one wants to see that.

Akane: Fight Ranma Again

Ryoga: Who cares if I fight Ranma? You know, if you want to go out on a date all you had to do was ask ;)

Akane: This is no time for winky faces. Either you fight him or I do.

Ryoga: I think I’d like to see that.

Akane: You wouldn’t. Even when we’re trying to be nice we hurt each other. You don’t want to see what happens when the kid gloves come off.

Ryoga: What’s wrong? What did he do to you?

Akane: He fucked me up, that’s what. He got my emotions so twisted up I want to punch him and patch up his wounds. I want to scream at him and then cry and then scream some more. I want him to feel stupid and scared and angry.

Akane: I want him out of my life. Permanently.

Ryoga: Okay, before you hire a hit man, have you tried to talking to him?

Akane: I don’t want to talk to him. Talking to him made me think I liked him.

Ryoga: Why’d you stop liking him, then?

Akane: I talked to him some more and realized he only cares about himself and what’s best for him and what his dad tells him to do. My feelings don’t matter. He can kiss me and then forget about it. He can make me dream about mysterious men and better versions of him and then trample them.

Akane: Please fight him so I won’t have to.

Facebook Messenger

Ryoga: I want to duel you again.

Ranma: Tonight. Field behind the science building.

Ryoga: Isn’t that a little dangerous?

Ranma: You’re right. We should do it on the basketball court in the gym. Hell, let’s smoke some weed, and have an orgy while we’re at it! We can invite Dean Kuno! He’d have a blast!

Ryoga: What did you do to Akane?

Ranma: Liked her??? I KEEP TRYING TO PROTECT PEOPLE AND THEY KEEP SAYING I’M BEING SELFISH. I’M TRYING SO FUCKING HARD OVER HERE.

Ryoga: You know, there’s a difference between protecting someone for their sake and for yours.

Ranma: Who you ripping off there? Goethe?

Ryoga: I’ll fight you. But first I have to tell my girls I love them.

Ranma: Plural? WAHAHAHAHA. Go ahead, but tell them that when it comes to beating you up we gotta take turns!

From: TexmexTesco@gmail.com

To: Prettyporkchop@gmail.com

Dear Akari,

I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I ignored you so I could keep chasing other girls and not feel guilty. I’m sorry I held on to you like a safety school. I thought I was doing you a favor, but I was just jerking you around. I was talking to someone today and I realized I wasn’t telling you I’d fallen for someone else because I didn’t want to deal with you. Which is probably why you got as pissed as you did and killed my phone and…all the other things you did.

Also, I’m sorry I thought some mystical connection with another girl made it okay to treat you like shit. I’m not sorry about believing in mystical connections, but I feel a little silly. I mean, you can meet someone and instantly feel good around them. Right away you think they’re cool and you want to know them better, but then you have to get to know them better. Maybe that means you fight about sitcoms, or their exes, but I think that’s a lot more important for the whole falling in love with someone thing than just deciding they’re the most amazing person ever. That’s pretty detrimental to it, actually.

My point is, love can sneak up on you, but break ups shouldn’t. I let you be the last person to know that I was going to dump you, and that was really shitty. Thanks for not letting your pig eat me.

Love,

Ryoga Hibiki.

From: Prettyporkchop@gmail.com

To: TexmexTesco@gmail.com

Thanks.

For finally being honest.

(And not calling the cops on me)

Akari.

—You thought you could make me better/And I hoped it’d turn out right/You know I’d sell my soul to change it/But we’re out of time

Gymnastics Team Group Chat///Jumping Gymnasts

You didn’t hear it from me, but there’s another duel on.

Ranma and that guy he’s fought already.

Kuno?

The other one.

What is wrong with these guys?

I dunno, but I need a kick tonight. I’ll be there.

Me too.

Cap?

Will you be there captain?

It’ll be a club event!

Say you’ll come cap!

Cap!

Cap!

Cap!

Okay, Jesus. I’ll be there. Though, I’ve got to say, I’m a little disappointed all of y’all don’t have better stuff to do.

And what are you doing cap?

Nm. I’ll be there.

Shampoo’s phone——> Ukyo’s phone

Did you hear? Ranma

and Ryoga are fight-

ing tonight.

                                                                        Seriously? Didn’t school just start?

Eight P.M. Behind

the science build-

ing.

                                                                        See you there?

You bring the ice pack

I’ll bring the bandages?

                                                                    Sounds like a plan. I swear, if  Ryoga

                                                                    gets hurt over Akane…

Why? Are you jealous?

                                                                     Jealous? It’s a snowy hill in the dark.

                                                                        I’m worried he’ll break his neck!

So you don’t care who

Ryoga dates?

                                                                        No? I mean, it would suck if he

                                                                        pulled that ‘my girlfriend comes

                                                                        before anyone else’ thing on us.

That’s such bullshit.

What would you think

if someone put you

before everyone else?

                                                                         I think you should be checking

                                                                         our first aid kit, not making

                                                                         up riddles.

The Daily Times Post              All the news we can report                  February 1st

                                     THE WEIRD AND WILD

Cologne Clueless

A man at a nearby law firm is currently engaged in a large legal battle over what he deems to be wrongful termination. Another employee reported him for consistently coming to work reeking of marijuana. He claims that what his colleague mistook for smoke was actually the scent of his very expensive cologne. He is expected to bring several bottles to court, but he’s not sure how he will light up in the court room…For comparison purposes, of course.

Deuling Downfall

It’s been a while since we’ve had any impressive catastrophes from our local adolescent angst farm, Nancy Sullivan Junior, but recently four freshmen were taken to the hospital en masse due to an incident involving an illegal duel preformed on slippery terrain behind one of their science buildings. What was the fight over? Only the most time honored instigator of fights there is—the hand of a beautiful young lady.

Mixtape Mixup

Local club XS was dead silent this Friday night, except for the sound of Cotten-Eyed Joe, a song which had accidentally slipped into the dj’s playlist and left it’s audience cold, as well as momentarily motionless.

MY DIARY

Once, when I was a younger man, my father took me to a production of Macbeth at NSJ. It was small and low budget but well done, by which I mean that the witches' scenes were phenomenal. They were unearthly, cackling shrilly as their bodies contorted into painful postures. They rooted me to my seat, partly out of appreciation for their performance, and partly because I was worried if I drew too much attention to myself they would leap upon me and tear the meat from my bones.

I thought that once the witches departed from their final scene there would be no more magic for the evening. Then Macduff’s wife appeared, laughing gaily and playing with her son. I recognized in her gait and the cut of her chin the woman who had only a few scenes before been a bent and haggard witch.

It is truly something to see a witch shed her skin to reveal the woman underneath. A woman of kindness and civility, and then dire vulnerability as Macbeth’s men sent her to her grave. It is a magic all it’s own.

No no no, this simply will not do.

There is something I must admit to you, gentle reader, with no further ado, allusions, or passionate ramblings.

I kissed Nabiki Tendo.

Akane’s Diary

I don’t know how this happened.

That’s not true, I know I know it, but the pieces won’t come together in my mind. It still feels like things shouldn’t have gone this way. Like I’m living in that totally blown out of proportion worst case scenario that you think of for a a second before shaking yourself and saying it could never happen.

Ranma isn’t very big is he? It isn’t the hospital bed being huge and playing tricks on me, he’s never been that tall or wide. Hell, I’m taller than him. Still, when he’s up and angry he can add five inches just by standing right and staring down at you. Asleep and covered in bruises he looks like half the man he usually is.

I don’t know why I sent Ryoga that message. I’m not sure if I don’t want to be engaged to Ranma because I hate him, or if I don’t want to be engaged to him so I can do things that might lead to us being engaged. I fell back on Ryoga, and now he, Ranma, Kodachi, and Ukyo are in the hospital. And the only one who deserves to be here is me.

Nabiki is here too. She’s pacing like she wishes she wasn’t, and I’m writing because it feels wrong to be dicking around on my phone or doing anything other than explaining how this is all my fault. Genma was called, and we called dad so he knew. We also told him Ranma might be expelled, since we aren’t sure if anyone has told Genma that. I wonder if it’ll happen before Ranma even gets out of the hospital. Dean Kuno is here to be with his daughter, and I can’t tell if that counts toward Ranma’s time being officially enrolled or against it.

Nabiki says she’s going to find the cafeteria, although I think she just wants to stretch her legs. Good. I want to be alone.

I should write this out so I don’t forget it. This is going to be on me forever, so I should at least have the details straight.

I almost thought this fight was going to be cool. Ranma posted something about it on face book and tons of people showed up. More than I think have been there for any other fight. It was kind of cinematic, all the dark people milling around under crystal clear moonlight, glittering on the snow.

Ranma and Ryoga circled each other for a few minutes, feeling out the terrain more than each other. The snow was thick but powdery, and I felt safe that there wouldn’t be too much slipping. Some people were smoking, and the acrid scent made everything feel sharp.

Ryoga made the first move. He flew at Ranma so fast I was shocked. Even Ranma was caught a little off guard. He dodged though, and spun to make an attack. Snow flew up and caught the light. For a second, this seemed like a good idea.

Ryoga took some of the kick, but managed to turn so a lot of the force bounced off of him. He tried to grab Ranma’s leg, which was a mistake. Ranma punched him and Ryoga recoiled. Ranma went in for another strike, Ryoga jumped back. Then he went to the left, which I thought was a little weird, because he lined himself up for a hit. He ducked left again and I saw that he was leading Ranma to the edge of the slope that rolls toward the science building. I started to worry. With the help of some slippery snow Ryoga could launch Ranma off the edge of the plateau we were on.

Ranma didn’t notice. All he wanted to do was hit Ryoga as hard and as fast as he could. Ryoga was taking blow after blow, but he kept leaning left, and Ranma kept following him.

Then Ranma did a spinning kick. After all the punches he’d been throwing Ryoga was caught off guard. Ranma’s knee slammed into his stomach so hard everyone winced. He fell to his knees.

“Time!” Ukyo screamed. She broke out of the crowd and ran into the part of the ground that had become the ring. She planted herself in front of Ryoga, who was still shuddering on his hands and knees. He looked like he was going to throw up.

“What are you doing?!” Ranma yelled at her.

Ukyo didn’t flinch. She leaned into Ranma and said, “I’m keeping you idiots from hurting each other.”

“You want to fight me?” Ranma was fuming. He would have grappled with a hungry rottweiler if we’d thrown one at him.

“This isn’t how we’re supposed to solve problems anymore.” Ukyo said. “We don’t throw down behind the science building, or in the parking lot off the basket ball court.”

“This is the only way to solve problems.” Ranma spat. “I’m sick of trying so hard to fuck with people’s feelings. All that happens is that we still hate each other, we just pretend we don’t and try to be nice or whatever the fuck, and we sit on all this anger and hate and we smile and want to kill each other.” For a second something flickered over Ranma’s face that wasn’t rage, but it was gone too fast to say what it was. “I can’t do that. I’ve got to be honest. You want Ryoga to tap out, fine. But you’ve got to take his—“

Ukyo kicked him across the face. I don’t know if Ukyo does martial arts, but she’s definitely kept up on her flexibility exercises. The bruise along Ranma’s left temple is a purple negative of the bottom edge of her boot.

Once Ukyo got on the offensive, she stayed there. For a minute I thought she had Ranma cornered. Only he wasn’t shaken. He was plotting how to trip her up. He sent her to the ground and jumped on top of her.

I could see that purple haired girl I talked to once helping Ryoga up. He was a little too heavy for her, as unsteady as he was on his feet, and she motioned to a group of admirably muscly girls for help. One of them was Kodachi, wearing a flannel shirt that fit her so weirdly I’m pretty sure it belonged to the taller girl standing next to her. I don’t know why seeing Kodachi made me spring into action but it did. She reminded me that we were all going to have to explain the bruises, and possible bloodstains on the snow tomorrow. I ran to the other side of the ring and threw myself onto Ranma’s back. He screamed, but between Ukyo and I we managed to grab enough of his limbs to keep him still.

He wouldn’t stop screaming, though. Kodachi appeared at my side and started grabbing at us. I don’t know if she was trying to free Ranma or help restrain him, but when he lurched sideways she was knocked over, crashing into Shampoo and Ryoga—who had been walking towards us for some reason, even though the part of the ring we were in was nearer to the science building than the dorms.

It was also closer to the edge of the hill, and that collision sent us sliding down. At first we were just slipping, but when we struggled to pull ourselves up we gained speed, and soon we were shooting down the hill.

Stupid fucking north-east school with rolling hills.

We crashed into a tree stump. At least, the clump with me, Kodachi, Ranma, and Ukyo did. Shampoo and Ryoga went farther before they hit a tree. I think I was unconscious for a minute, crushed between Kodachi and Ranma.

Maybe longer? I remember crashing and then campus security showing up. I’m not sure how much time passed between that. Then there were ambulances because Ryoga and Ukyo were out cold and Ranma had a huge, jagged cut on his arm. Also, I heard the only thing Kodachi was wearing was that flannel shirt, and she took a few bumps to the head, so they put her in an ambulance too.

Nabiki’s back. The cafeteria has cream horns??? She got me one. She’s really flustered. She got lost a lot on the way.

It’s pretty good. The cream horn. I feel kind of sick, but also like I should eat. I guess there isn’t much we can do right now. I want to track down Dean Kuno and confess that this is all my fault, but I think he should have some time with his daughter first. Also, if I talked to him right now he’d probably want to kill me rather than expel me.

Is it bad if I’m tempted to let him?

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Fuuuuuuuuuuukkkk………Whyyyyy….

He was so freaked out. Pale and somehow tiny in his huge, puffy coat. Then he took it off and his sweater was too big, his sleeves covering his hands, and I started at him like I’d never seen a human male before. He looked like he was going to cry. His sis is okay, but he kept asking me stuff like, ‘What was she thinking?’, ‘I heard she wants to quit gymnastics. From someone else!’, ‘Should I have seen this coming?’.

Tatewaki Kuno. Taking responsibility. For something that wasn’t even his fault.

His hair was standing on end cause he kept fucking with it. It’s so thick.

I mean, I was worried about Ranma, but I knew it was his own damn fault. I didn’t feel like I didn’t even know him anymore. Kuno was on meltdown mode.

I just wanted to calm him down. I went to shake his shoulders, I was going to slap him like a hysterical woman. I’ve always wanted to do that…

But then I was holding him by the shoulders and looking into his eyes and whispering stuff? And then I was holding his face, and then I was kissing him. It was supposed to be short.

It was long. And slow. I could feel my heartbeat, but it wasn’t scary like when you’re full of adrenaline. It was like awareness spread out from my chest and I could feel every inch of my body. And every inch of his.

Then we stopped kissing and just breathed for a long time.

Too long. I had to get to the cafeteria. I asked Kuno if he knew where the cafeteria was and then I ran away. Like a coward.