#think i remember (i have memory problems) hearing that a lot of artists get shunned growing and this feels like more of the same

[sadfransisko]

I think it's at least in part the fault of consumerism. People who consume art (all art, not just visual) feel entitled to art and therefore undervalue it, hence art theft and AI art (which I heard AI art hasn't turned out to be profitable for the same reason, and the same with NFTs. You can just steal it.)

I've tried reaching out to individuals to tell them why it's so important to reblog instead of just liking, bit then they probably just feel attacked and double down ig.

A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.

My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.

My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.

This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.

Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.

I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.

So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.

[bessiemae]

Writing and writing fears long and probably unfounded.  This is massive because these insecurities have built up for decades.

I have a lot of fears about people getting upset with me based on race.  In my writing.  I’ve probably mentioned this (or a started to and deleted the post before I sent it)  but one time, I was reading a message on a children’s writing board.  Someone gave their view on a book.  I don’t remember the book, but I do remember them saying that the black protagonist felt more like a white character they just labeled black.  This one critique has paralyzed me for decades.  Because I’m sure I would remember if they said the character strolled into a KKK meeting and was greeted with genuine affection.  So, I’m guessing it wasn’t something ridiculously blatant.  As far as I remember they didn’t specify at all.  So, there must have been something about the character that they felt is true of ALL black people that wasn’t true of this character, or false of ALL black people that was true of this one. 

And, since I was little I’ve been accused of “acting white”.  And, it might sound like I protest too much, but it doesn’t bother me when it’s directed at me.  As a kid, I would just shoot back “I’m black, I act like myself, so I act black”.  Or words to that affect.  And then I would continue to do my thing. If I pretended to be interested in something considered a black thing because I felt I’m supposed to rather than genuine interest, I’d be “acting black” despite being black, because I’d be false.  (And I don’t shun black things, I just don’t base what I’m interested in on feeling like I’m duty bound to like something)  And if I fake an interest in something “white” out of some idea that it’s superior or better, that’s acting white.  But, if I just like something honestly, and it just happens to be something people associate with being white, I’m simply someone who happens to like it and I’m not acting like anything, I’m being myself. 

Despite honestly feeling that way and being confident in myself, when it comes to my writing, I hear that voice.  And they’ve morphed into a Tumblr poster who posts on racism and sexism (not that it’s wrong to talk about these things) and who tells you about every wrong thing someone did in their life and lets you know that your fave is problematic.  And if a show isn’t perfect in dealing with issues, every time you talk about it, you must make a disclaimer that you know it’s problematic and then your allowed to humbly and apologetically say you like the show anyway.   And if my character doesn’t act their approved concept of a black person, they’ll get me.  Or if I dare to write a story that isn’t about racism, they’ll get me as not being the “true black experience”.  Well, I can only speak for myself, but their are a lot of days I don’t experience racism, and that’s also a black experience. 

It’s why, even though it’s not my favorite book, I have a fondness for Everything Everything.  Maddie is part black, part Japanese. (I’m not sure if that is still true in the movie, or if the races of her parents were just reversed)  And it’s not glossed over.  And I know Nicola Yoon made the conscious choice, because it reflects her family - she’s Jamaican American, her husband is Korean American, and they have a daughter.  So, this is going to come out totally wrong, and I’ll make this long poster even longer by trying to explain what I mean.  She just happens to be biracial  (some may feel that I should only call her black, but both parts of her are equally true of her).  Again, not that this was an afterthought or a blink and you’ll miss it thing.  Just that Maddie isn’t limited in her characterization by race.  This story could easily be written with Maddie being white.  And when I say that, I don’t mean that makes it better.  Just that because she’s a poc she’s not put in a box of what she’s allowed to be like to be acceptable as a poc.  I don’t think anyone has ever said a character isn’t “really white” despite the variety of white characters there are. 

And, yes, there are stories that are unique to certain races and cultures.  The Sun is Also a Star is more focused on race and racial identity (and I LOVE that book)  And those stories should be told and can be interesting.  But, some things are universal.  (I know that Maddie’s story isn’t universal in terms of her sickness, but her issues with family and falling in love are things that all cultures, if not all individuals, experience)  And sometimes it feels to me that black people (even more than other races) aren’t allowed to just exist in stories and just be whatever.  Be the character who’s obsessed with a certain actor and comes up with a madcap scheme to meet them when they film a movie in their home town.  Or the person who’s father deals with clinical depression (that’s actually “Silhouetted by the Blue”).  And they are black and maybe they like certain artists that are popular with black people or have a favorite dish popular in black cuisine.  But, their story isn’t one that can only be told about a black person. 

I’m not constantly burdened by my race.  Or even consciously aware of it.  I don’t mean I suddenly remember that I’m black.  I just mean, like I’m not constantly thinking about the fact that I’m under five feet tall or I’m southern, I’m not constantly thinking about the fact that I’m black.  And I think black people (especially kids) should, along with stories of race, also have stories where they exist but it’s not the reason for the story. 

So that’s one issue (and despite it being long, I’m not really sure if I explained myself accurately).  But, wait.  I’m not done!  Yesterday at work, I was brainstorming some ideas.  Usually that leads to nowhere, because I’m not thinking about what I would like to read, but about what would other people find interesting.  Would my coworkers judge me (even if it just amounted to “well, we wanted to read something of hers, and it wasn’t worth the wait”)?  No one cares about stories like these.  But, I thought of an idea that I liked.  A fairy tale retelling.  And I started scribbling some notes.  I came up with some ideas that I got really excited by.  And some problems that I actually thought of solutions to.  I was enjoying myself.  But, then, I thought, “well there aren’t enough black protagonists in fiction for children and teens”.  And I do believe that’s an important issue.  And one that should be addressed.  And while I don’t think that black authors shouldn’t be allowed to write other races, I also think that if possible, we should increase the number of black characters.  And I had that inner critic that I talked about at the beginning of this (take a second to go back and refresh your memory on him).  So, then, I thought, there’s no logical reason why the characters can’t be black.  Yes, it’s based on a European fairy tale.  But, fairies didn’t exist in actual Europe. 

But, then I made the mistake of checking online to see if there were any black characters in fairy tale retellings.  Specifically Grimm’s tales or Hans Christian Anderson.  Beyond picture books.  Because even though I don’t want to write something that’s totally unoriginal, but at the same time, I want to know someone else has done it.  And that it was accepted by the general public and they weren’t blasted as being self loathing or something because they wrote Beauty and the Beast (not the story I was thinking of) with black characters instead of an originally African or African American story.  And, maybe if I set it in Africa, that would be acceptable.  But, I don’t know enough about any African country to be accurate.  I know more about Europe, and even then, I couldn’t authentic, because I don’t know enough.  I envision this as a vague ‘fairy tale land’ that exists totally in my imagination.  But, I worry that the critic would get me for “prioritizing a white story” instead of giving exposure to a lesser known black story.  But, I didn’t make a point of looking for a white story.  I grew up on those fairy tales.  I love them and I thought of a story that I found interesting and exciting as a writer and potential reader.  And I would hope that’s true of any story.  

So, I have to look to another author to tell me I’m allowed to write this.  And that author is Kekla Magoon.  A black author of teen books.  And she wrote a retelling of Robin Hood.  Set in the modern day, in a fictional world, and her Robin Hood is a biracial twelve year old girl.  And she didn’t let the fact that she’s telling a story that was originally about a white man stop her.  She liked the story of Robin Hood and she put her spin on it.   So, I should feel the same way.  Obviously I still have hang ups, but I shouldn’t.  If I want to write an adaptation of Sleeping Beauty (yes, that’s it) I should do so.  And some people may have issues with it.  But, you can’t let that stop you.  (Big words, but I still have the fear)  Someone did say they don’t like poc characters dropped into traditionally European fairy tales.  But, while you want to be respectful of people’s views on race, particularly people of that race, you can’t be imprisoned by it.  Because there’s no universal consensus of what is okay.  And try to be respectful but realize you won’t please everyone and don’t let that stop you from trying.

If anything, every author who ever wrote something didn’t let anyone stop them.  And while I can critique things and find them totally offensive, they didn’t let me (or the fear of someone like me) stop them.  And although I don’t want to be offensive and I’m not callously not caring, I think all I can do is write the story I have to tell and do it as respectfully as I can.  And not let the possibility of someone being upset make me feel that I’m not allowed to tell it.  And big words and big pep talk.  Lets see if I follow it.