#think howls bedroom in the movie. those are the vibes

[dizzybizz]

i haven't introduced tumbly to my drawtectives oc!!! this is my guy nick nack, he runs a shop where he sells antiques and well... knick knacks.. he loves trinkets n bits n bobs n he is oh so short.

[keepcalm-and-beyou]

Serial Killer Boyfriend

YoungFP x Reader

Werewolves howl, Phantoms prowl, where witches go riding and black cats are seen, the moon full and bright whispers tis Halloween. 

It feels like magic in the night when you see the pumpkins light. Time for the ghouls and ghost to seek goodies, for people hoping for treats not tricks. 

Halloween time in our town with pep. Everyone from school invited and some not invited to this years Spooktacular Party surely must be getting ready as i am. 

🎃Now I have a story that I'd like to tell About this guy you all know him, he had me scared as hell! He comes to me at night after I crawl into bed He's burnt up like a weenie and his name is Fred!🎃  

As A nightmare on my street song plays on my radio I apply my lipstick and smile when the song mentions the name Fred as it makes me think of my friend Fred Andrews, i also cant help but love the nightmare on elm street movie. Freddy Kruger what an intense killer to get you in your precious dreams i hope they make more movies like that. A noise interrupted my thoughts slightly making me jump. heading towards where it had come from i look out my window to the left then right side seeing some children running around on my street dressed up in their costumes trick or treating, the street lights shinned on my street sign that read ELM STREET. 

Thinking the noise must of been from those who are outside simply wanting candy i turn away from the half way open window i scream as i felt something grab my arm from where the window was i turn fast to face it seeing my boyfriend trying to climb through the window. I let a relived sigh leave my lips and step back in no mood to help him through my window but to watch his struggle he sure deserves it after that stunt. 

“Thank for the help babe” FP says sarcastically while finally getting him self through my window his eyes not yet even looking really at me until he stands up straight turning to fully face where i was standing by my bedroom wall. 

FP’s eyebrows raised in what looked like surprise “Wow babe, damn you look good not like that’s anything new” 

“Well i tried thank you, uh what are you suppose to be, some poor victim of a serial killer stabbing, some messed up boy with mommy issues and a daddy who just doesn't seem to love him the same these days who has a issue filled girlfriend that seems so awkward all the time who probably kills his own girlfriend because ya know always some bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend, he must of watched way to many movies” I ask him as he slowly creeps closer to where i have been standing. This is when i notice the knife in his hand. It sure don’t look like the typical cheap fake ones used for such things as Halloween costumes. That makes me raise an eyebrow at the sharp metal in his hand. Fps eyes caught my reaction to his choice in accessory for his costume and he smirks getting closer to me. 

“Nah babe this blood is of my victims” he smirks wider as his eyes seem to burn into mine “I’m the killer” he adds while he brings his knife up to his bottom lip resting it there. 

“Shit does that mean i’m the girlfriend you want to kill for some bullshit reason” i fake seriousness.

“Hmm I think ill keep you around you look to good to ruin that tight outfit” he smirks checking me out. 

“Thanks. Oh and next time use the front door you ass”

“Did i give you a fright” FP stalks even closer to just inches apart. Like he is  stalking his prey. I deny that he frightened me and i lightly push him backwards from my bubble of space done with his creepy killer vibes in my bedroom and wanting to get my party on. 

Walking out my front door like a normal none creepy person uses i turn to FP “Your not really gonna walk around with that legit knife are you, because that seems like big ole trouble to me” 

“You have no idea” FP says quietly but loud enough to hear him. I watch as he passes by me down my steps and put the knife into a holster on his jeans.

“Wait what?” I ask confused on his statement. only for him to act as if he never heard me. 

I spot a boy who looks like our friend a small ways down coming from his front lawn as we approach and it is indeed my best guy friend! 

“Oh my gosh Fred i love it i absolutely approve of this years choice in costume” I say excitedly going to hug him not caring for his eyes to slightly open wider at my revealing chest area. 

“You look.. uh wow yeah wow a good wow very good wow” Fred rambled 

“Watch it Fred” FP warned in what seemed to be a half joke half serious threat as he slaps Fred’s check lightly and they do a quick bro hug. 

“Awe my guys, my killer boyfriend and killer best friend, my Freddy as Freddy i love it, glad you didn’t go with a mask of Freddy Kruger though i prefer your pretty face” I smack Fred on the same cheek FP had done. 

“I knew you would” Fred smiles. 

“Okay i could use a drink and Hiram douche as rich as he is must have plenty at his party so hurry up move it along” FP says nodding his head ahead of us indicating for us to start walking that way. 

Hiram Lodge, rich and rude mostly describes him. someone who many of us don’t particularly like. Fred dislikes him for many reasons one being Hermione Gomez the girl Fred was into and thought she could be the one. Until she chose Hiram and his pearls over Fred and his heart. FP dislikes him for many of the same reasons Fred does but one being Me the ex girlfriend of Hiram, I thought he could be the one until our once fun filled relationship turned into a cold one into a distant one into me choosing FP over Hiram. But hey a party with free booze is our kind of party and we got the invite well me and Fred did anyways. 

Walking through the streets of Riverdale seeing all the Halloween decorations like the lights from jack-o lanterns and ghosts hanging from trees, feeling the chilling vibes of the magic that is Halloween night run through my body, the feel of a cold hand in mine making me smile at my serial killer looking boyfriend. 

I watch as few children pass us by seeing the looks shared by Fred and FP raising my eyebrow at what they could be thinking then suddenly the two teenagers yell and jump forward towards the little kids scaring them making the children scream and run off. Rolling my eyes at the two men in front of me laughing like hyenas. 

“Real mature boys” I say unimpressed at the child like behaviour 

“Its Halloween y/n lighten up” Fred laughs 

“Yeah babe its meant to be scary” FP adds

“True but no need to terrorise little kids” I shake my head at them. And continue our walk.

Nearing the house holding the Halloween party hosted by Hiram i notice some familiar faces as much as i can being with all the Halloween costumes. my eyes came upon sierra dressed as wonder woman, a perfect costume for her and her girl power woman on a mission thing she has going on. a short distance a way as well seeing tom Keller in a army costume, another typically perfect costume for the boy.

The outside of the house isn't much decorated i try to push through some of my fellow classmates with FP and Fred hot on my tail walking through the front doors. I’m impressed by what my eyes are seeing the many outstanding lights making the house look like a nightclub ready for teenagers to dance the night away, i see Halloween theme streamers and garland, hanging bats all over the roof of the house, your typical mini orange pumpkins and some painted black placed on tables, and my favourite of all the creepy images on the walls that change. 

“Boy Hiram of course with all the crap” FP looks around at all the decorations as i was. “Think he’s compensating for something Fred” FP chuckles looking to Fred who’s standing next to him. Fred laughs at his best friends remark. 

“No comment” I smirk barley looking towards FP to see his glare thrown my way. 

“Speak of the devil” Fred nods his head to where Hiram is walking towards us. Hiram lodge strolls head high nearing us wearing a medieval king costume, it makes me want to laugh at another super typical costume for the boy who think’s he is a real king, only kind of royal he happens to be is a royal pain in the ass. 

“Well well well a sight for sore eyes, in all her black beauty” Hiram steps closely in front of me with that stupid smirk and ignorant eyes. I simply fake a big smile as my only response. 

“Fred” Hiram greets in a major Hiram way that doesn't sound very greeting like. so Fred does the same. My eyes moves back and fourth between the two and landing on Hiram as his eyes land on my exposed chest thanks to my Elvira costume. This doesn't go unnoticed by my serial killer boyfriend who steps in front of me chest puffed out and eyes murdering the rich man who only smirks more at the exchange. 

“Ah FP Jones i do believe you were not sent an invite but by all means enjoy my humble adobe, oh but please don’t let your serpent behaviour disturb my gathering” 

“Hiram” is heard from behind him of course coming from Hermione. I roll my eyes at her presence dressed as a medieval queen. “Hello glad you guys can attend” she says playing the dutiful girlfriend.

“Mhm thanks” I say in the most super fake tone i can muster up and a smile to go with it as i move past them farther into the home of the devil incarnate. 

Pouring my self a much needed beverage as FP pushes some guy lightly out of his way to reach a bottle of whiskey taken the whole thing for him self.

“Are you really just gonna take the whole thing?” i chuckle

“What like he cant afford to lose out on one damn bottle y/n” 

“Okay then” i let out a small sigh hoping FP doesn't get to hammered. 

“Hey it saves me from having to stab someone to move out my way for a drink” FP pulls out his knife he had in his holster waving it around near our faces with a wide smile. I’m not sure if its because it Halloween that this whole dressed in blood serial killer thing is legit creepy, but hey its pretend right. 

“Stop waving that thing in my face before you make me lose an eye you psycho” I tell him half jokingly. he just stares at me for a moment like contemplating on something, maybe something i said. But finally after making a clicking noise with his tongue he puts the knife back into his holster. 

“Good boy” I teasingly say to him as i grab his chin giving him a kiss to his cheek. 

Hand in hand we walk around for a bit saying a few hellos to some friends of mine as FP stays silent drinking from his bottle and eyeing a few people dangerously creepy. We enter the dining room seeing people including Fred playing beer pong. 

“Y/n come be on my team I’m kicking Tom’s ass” Fred shouts to where i stand with FP by the entrance. FP looks annoyed at the thought but i don’t care he can brood and mood alone for 5 minutes well i kick some major Keller toosh. 

“Oh Keller boy its on” i challenge as Fred cheers at my comment. 

I stand tall and elegantly yet cockily toss the ping pong ball, it lands perfectly into a cup filled half way with beer in front of Tom. Tom of course drinks it. Fred and I throw a few more times ultimately winning which causes us much joy giving us the need to jump around cheering for our self’s along with others in the room, i jump into Fred’s arms smiling at our victory he spins me around laughing. 

“That was awesome y/n” Fred smiles as he put me down. 

“Tha-” I’m cut off by the dark voice of FP

“I thought i said watch it” he remarks dryly to Fred as Fred gives him an unsure look. 

“Wow okay babe laying on the crazy tonight real hard don’t you think” I tell FP furrowing my eyebrows at the bloody boy. FP scoffs and Fred backs away slowly to leave me to deal with my crazy boo. 

FP moves close to my ear and says “Nah what would be crazy is if someone losses a hand because they can’t keep them off you” and he tilts his head in that weird way like a challenging way. Then all of a sudden he’s laughing. I can’t help my face reacting as if he has gone mad. 

“Let’s keep checking out the place babe” FP says in his normal tone as if he wasn't just a crazy jealous boyfriend. And put’s his arm around my shoulders. 

We came across a room that seems like a second living room it looks like the teenagers in it are playing a game as they all sit in whats suppose to be a circle. 

“Oh look its Y/n, care to indulge us in a game of secrets and sins” Penelope’s voice rang out. she use to be a decent human being but it seems her adopted family the blossoms have really done a number on her after she accepted to be with Clifford her adopted brother. honestly I’m unsure if its even legal. 

“I don’t know about that one” I shrug not really in the mood to share a secret of any sorts. 

“Are you scared to tell us something” Clifford chimes in as he is sitting next to the red headed sister girlfriend of his. 

“Let’s go babe” FP grumbles in my ear. But i shake my head at his words. 

“No no i’ll stay” I smile and take a seat on one of the few couches in the room that have space. FP stay’s standing by the door.

“Well that makes it your turn y/n, any sinful secrets you might wanna share” Penelope asks with a wicked smirk plastered on her face as if she already knows any secrets i may have. 

“Hmm i cheated on a math test once, no that’s a lame one, uh i keyed Hiram’s car after we broke up” that last so called secret made FP chuckle. but Penelope rolled her eyes not amused by my choices of secrets. 

“I have a obsession with the movie the heather's i do as well imagine poisoning my classmates, I’m sure you’ll be able to relate” i tell Penelope with a small smile. She lets out a huff still not amused.  

“So that’s your big secrets? Really. I think not Elm Street girl” she says smiling at me. Causing me to raise my eyebrow. And she continues on. 

“You know who else lives on Elm Street, Fred Andrews right? Your friend, your boyfriends friend” she drags on

“So do you have a point or are you just obtuse” I laugh in my head at my own joke sense obtuse is opposite of something pointy. 

“Funny. You like to do a lot with that mouth of yours, like talk when know one cares to listen or make out with Fred Andrews when you think know ones looking” she smiles deviously as my eyes widen in shock. 

“What?!” is heard from the door FP in fit of rage.  

“Wait let me explain” I say to FP but he doesn't hear it he’s to busy pushing his way out of the bedroom door so i follow him. 

“FP can you slow down what are you doing let me explain” I yell for him to hear me but all i see is him on a hunt. oh no probably for Fred. Poor Fred. 

Fp reaches Fred who is in the big living room area where the drinks are and teenager’s dancing. FP grab’s Fred by his shirt throwing him into a wall swiftly reaching for his knife 

‘FP no” i shout as i near the two boys. 

“What the hell FP” Fred asks his best friend. 

“I outta kill you boy” FP barks in Fred face now holding his knife to his throat. 

“FP stop please its not what you think i swear” I plead with my now looking like a real serial killer boyfriend. 

“Y/n whats going on? Why do you have a knife? wait is that a real knife FP?!” Fred asks a bunch of questions in his nervous and scared state. We all barley notice the music had turned down a bit and people were gasping and whispering amongst them self's. 

“You touched my girl!” FP says lowly very low dangerously low. 

Fred looks beyond shocked at the news his best friend knew. He was speechless. 

“FP please let’s talk outside or in a quite room” i beg of him. 

“Screw this” FP says angrily and grab’s Fred again by the shirt only to throw him into the wall once more before backing away. “You better watch out boy” FP threatens Fred. FP disappear’s into the house and I tend to Fred. 

“Oh my gosh are you okay i cant believe he just went that psycho” I held onto Fred’s head looking over his neck and face for any injuries. Seeing a small cut from the knife on is neck, making me cringe at the fact my boyfriend did that. 

“I’m okay y/n how did he find out?” Fred asks looking guilty 

“Secrets and sins and one red headed bitch of a blossom” I remark coldly.

“I’m going to find the bathroom see if i need anything for my neck” Fred tells me as he starts to move towards the door way. 

I should look for FP to tell him the truth the whole truth to that secret. The fact that it was before i chose to be with FP, it was a drunk bad judgement call right after my break up with Hiram. 

Its been some time looking for FP i think its safe to say he left the party. Maybe that’s a good thing give him some space to calm down and when he wants to talk i’ll gladly talk to him. I haven't seen Fred in awhile either, if he ditched me i’m going to kill that athletic guitar playing boy. No sign of my best friend and the party has majorly died down with only a few students i barley know from school and the few i do know decently well like Sierra, Tom, Penelope and Clifford, Marty Mantle and Darryl Doiley and of course the host him self and his little girlfriend Heromine. 

I look around some more for Fred so we can leave, i check anywhere i can including upstairs. I come across a room at the very end of the hall and open the door slowly “Hello anyone in here?” I ask not wanting to intrude on anyone's personal business. There’s no answer. I cant make much of what’s in the room it’s very dark until i find the nearest light switch flicking it on my eyes instantly see a body on the ground. 

“Oh my god Fred?!” I move fast towards the body now seeing the crimson colour seeping through his shirt as if he has been stabbed. I couldn't control it my mouth had i mind of its own as it let out a screeching sound of horror at the sight of my best friend bleeding not a single movement made on the floor. 

I stood in shock for a moment after my scream rang through the walls catching the attention of a few of my fellow classmates as they run into the room. 

I hear gasps and what happened and omgs come from a few mouths as i stare eyes wide open at Fred on the ground. I see Tom get closer to Fred’s body when i snap out of my trance of horror. 

“Wait don’t touch his body!” i spit out before anyone can lay a finger on the boy. 

Everyone looks at me as i’m insane. 

“Finger prints and moving a body is like what tampering with a crime scene and if you have your finger prints on him guess who’s a suspect of murder” I tell everyone sternly. 

“We need to see if he is breathing!” Tom says freaked out. 

I move closer to Fred’s unconscious body not enough to touch and tell everyone to shut the hell up so i can listen for his breathing, I hear nothing. I then put my hand in front of his nose and mouth to see if i can feel air coming from his bloody body, I can not. 

“He’s not breathing guys.. he’s dead” i cry out covering my mouth in more shock. I hear little cries from the girls Heromine and Sierra. 

“This can’t be happening my parents will kill me if i through a party and there happens to be a dead body laying around” Hiram sighs

“My dad is probably gonna kick my ass” I hear Marty say in a fearful tone.

“We need to call the cop’s” Tom says

“I don’t know about that” Clifford chimes in. 

“What are you talking about that’s what your suppose to do, unless you killed him?” Tom shouts back at Clifford. as Clifford scoffs

“This could ruin our life’s what colleges are wanting to accept people involved in a murder” Penelope say’s. 

“Was that a confession?” Darryl Doiley ask’s The red head rolls her eye’s

“Who would do this” I let tear slip from my eyes. 

Everyone looks around at one another eyes scanning each other with possible thoughts that one of us killed Fred Andrews. 

“Hiram. I bet it was Hiram” Penelope says smugly as always these days. 

“And why would I do that?” Hiram asks in almost to good to be true calm manner. Everyone turns their heads to Penelope so she can further explain her accusations.

“Oh please you never did like the boy so much you even stole his girlfriend” she replies nodding towards Hermione who still have many tears on her face. 

“Please you strike me for the killing type both you Blossom’s and your weird family” Hiram spits back to the red headed girl. 

“This is so not cool guys we need to do something” Sierra says. 

“Yeah like the cops’” Tom says again 

“No, no cop’s, not until we figure who might have done it” Hiram speaks.

“We can all point fingers at each other but nothing proves either of us did it” I tell them hoping their madness would stop i haven't even had time to really wrap my head around the dead body of my best friend. 

“What about FP” Darryl Doiley speaks up from the corner of the room he’s been hiding in sense he came in after my scream. Everyone turns to look at the Doiley boy at the same time with looks that say what about him. 

“He had a knife right he held it to Fred’s throat and went all psycho doesn't that prove anything” Darryl continued 

“This is true, FP did have a weapon and is well crazy” Hiram says as a matter of fact. I roll my eyes at him. 

“No way he wouldn't .. I don’t think he would, oh my no no he couldn't” i say unsure in my own words that my boyfriend and Fred’s best friend would commit such a crime. 

“I don’t know the look in his eyes sure showed insanity” Penelope spoke

“Y/n it might be true look at the facts he was mad at Fred, he held Fred at knife point, and threatened him. It doesn’t look good for FP” Tom states

“What doesn't look good for me” FP appears in the door way of the room giving us all a fright many of us jumping at his voice. Some of our eyes wide in fear to see him in front of us hearing us talk about him. The girls Heromine, Sierra and Penelope move further away from him as they practically huddle together, Darryl and Marty look terrified, while Hiram and Tom have no expressions on their faces, then there’s me standing in the middle of everyone beside Fred’s body not knowing what to say and trying hard to keep my face a normal looking way. 

“Say hey what happened here” FP says what almost seems like a question but more of a taunt, he takes a step inside the room with his head tiled in that creepy way he does.

“Get away from us you murderer” Penelope shouts at him. 

“Hmm that’s not very nice” FP smirks deviously at her as he pulls out his knife pointing it at her “You are not very nice” he tell’s her. He looks at everyone in the room ‘In fact none of you really are. Not to me that’s for damn sure” he clicks his tongue. 

“Hey man we no what you did and its cool we wont say anything to anyone” Marty tells FP in hopes to get out of a killer situation. FP just laughs at the boys attempts. 

“FP tell them you didn't hurt Fred i know you didn't right?” i ask my own hopes rising

“We know you killed him FP” Hiram says to him

“How do we know your not the killer? huh? you like scary movies maybe your movie freak mind lost its reality button ever think of that” FP says challenging Hiram's words. Hiram scoffs. 

“Okay well if FP didn't do it and none of us did lets just call the cops” Tom says starting to walk towards the door when FP’s knife ends up nearing his face

“Na na na Keller get back” FP demands so Tom goes back to his spot by Fred’s body and near me. I look to Fred’s dead body and to FP, feeling a wave of sadness wash over me finally seeing it feeling it , that FP killed him. My eyes water as i take small slow step to FP who bares his knife still in front of him. 

“Why FP.. please tell me why” I cry slowly moving toward my killer boyfriend. 

“Why y/n! why!” he shouts manically making me jump. He turns to face the door he had just shut then back to me. 

Suddenly FP steps to me grabbing me by my throat facing me to everyone has his grip is tight on my neck keeping me in place close to him. 

“Listen FP” Sierra says trying to defuse the ticking bomb 

“No you listen you little bitch! Anyone moves and ill be happy to see what your insides look like. Takes the strength of a man to gut someone ya know” FP barks

“You all and your privileged life’s, you northsiders think your so better then everyone else!” FP shouts and his grip gets even tighter on my throat making me whimper. “Not anymore” FP drags his knife on my face as he speaks but not hard enough to cut into my skin. 

“We are sorry i’m sorry we all are sorry!” Sierra shouts

“You don’t have to do this FP let y/n go” Tom says calmly reaching his hand out

“Let her go FP” Hiram says more demanding

“Please FP you don’t have to hurt anyone” Heromine chimes in

“Oh my ” Penelope mumbles 

“Dude come on please” Darryl cries out 

“We’re sorry dude” Marty says but not enough meaning to believe it.

“If any of us made you feel less then us we are sorry if any of us picked on you we are sorry or if we made fun of you FP” Sierra speaks again apologising for everyone. And everyone’s voice rings out say yes and yeah’s agreeing to what she had said in fear for their life’s. 

“Nah” FP says then quickly spins me to face him and send’s his knife into my stomach instantly my hands go to the wound i feel the wet substance and my knees hit the floor as horror painful sounds escape my lips everyone runs to me as i turn around best i can hands red and dripping, the girls faces wet with tears the guys faces filled with horror i take one last look at my stomach hand covering it again.

“Gotcha” my head snaps up to everyone as i smile wide

“Really I’m dead no one calls the cop’s ” Fred says from the floor with his face looking towards us all. 

“What?!” everyone shouts with wide eyes and still horrified yet shocked faces all around. 

“Good job FP” Fred smiles getting up from the floor. “Man that’s tough playing dead for that long so glad no one saw me breathing when i needed to” 

“You did great man” FP smiles 

“But the blood” Hermione asks

“Corn syrup” I reply with a smile

“You are all seriously insane” Sierra says 

“That was not funny” Hiram adds sternly 

“Holy heck thank god” Tom sighs of relief 

“I can’t believe you guys” Heromine says shaking her head in dismay.

“Not cool” Marty adds 

“You had us all going” Penelope says in boredom

“Yeah” Clifford adds not making eye contact with anyone probably embarrassed that he got fooled. 

“Well can’t say you guys didn’t deserve it” FP smiles a normal smile not a creepy one at last. 

“Happy Halloween guys” Fred smiles 

“I got me one hot serial killer boyfriend” I put my arm around FP’s waist as his arm goes around my shoulder. 

“Happy Halloween” FP and i say at the same time to everyone. 

[theshinsun]

4, 5, 7, 10, 13, 15, 16, 17, 23, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 36, 39, 40, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 59, 60 [Which do you prefer between Knb and Haikyuu?] for the ask you recently reblogged please?

4. what are you looking forward to?

I'm looking forward to school starting again, even if it's just a weird hybrid of online/flipped classes, I miss my teachers and like, being productive. also if I'm in class I can't be worked borderline inhumane hours right…. right??

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

yeah, my roommate. she always either knows how to cheer me up, or blunders around trying to find the right method to the point that it's funny and I end up smiling anyway. she's really awesome like that.

7. what was your life like last year?

it had a lot of ups and downs. I had a great job, but the people I worked with eventually made it toxic and awful. I was doing really well in school, but stressed all the time, had an awesome relationship but kind of ruined it w my anxiety, and had serious roommate issues that made me afraid to leave my bedroom or even come home, sometimes. I remember a lot of very high highs and very low lows especially in the fall/winter of that year.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

well, yes and no… I don't tend to show a lot of emotion to begin with, but what I do show, I'm basically incapable of hiding, and apparently I'm a terrible liar bc my face gives me away.

13. how do you feel right now?

I'm pretty alright… kind of anxious, kind of tired, but that's just been the status quo lately tbh. 

15. personality description

already answered, so I suppose I'll elaborate. I'm simultaneously like, the most confident and the most self-doubting person I know... like there are certain things I'm super certain of and times when I feel no shame, and there are others where I'll just shrivel into a ball of anxiety and mortification and never come out. in the same vein, I'm simultaneously very trusting and open and very wary and cautious with people… it really depends on the situation and the person I think, I'm a very "you get out what you put in" person.

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn't?

yeah, I’m still holding onto things I’ve wanted to tell certain people tbh… I used to be a lot more forthcoming and not worry about the consequences of what I had to say, but now that I’ve seen what power words have to ruin relationships and impact people I tend to hold back quite a bit. 

17. opinion on insecurities

I have… many, but I understand that I shouldn't and am working on the ones I do have. I think feeling insecure can lead to some of the most ugly, toxic emotions and responses in certain people, so I'm trying to be conscientious of that.

23. fear(s)

um let’s see… jump scares, the dark (sometimes), corners I can’t see around, drowning/suffocating, pain, failure, losing control...

27. things I hate

wet socks, sunburn, acne, willful ignorance, bigotry, excessively negative people… uh… idk hate's a strong word that's all I've got

28. I'll love you if…

if you are genuinely, authentically yourself. if you’re the kind of person I can feel comfortable and at ease with. if you show me patience and compassion and make an effort to know me and let me know you… then yeah you’re never getting rid of me. 

29. favorite film(s)

The Road to El Dorado, Into the Spider-verse, Howl’s Moving Castle, Spirit, Life of Pi, The Truman Show, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

30. favorite tv show(s)

Haikyuu!!, Kuroko no Basuke, Avatar, Bojack Horseman, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Beastars, Dragonball Z

31. 3 random facts

already answered so here's three more

1. lately I've been carrying a fanny pack with the trans flag (there's an unfortunate but very tempting pun in there) and it's still got the security tag bc they forgot to take it off in the store so now every time I walk through the doorway to like, a drug store, I set off the alarm. I would get it taken off but it was sent to me from Chicago lol.

2. I've got a lot of outdoorsy skills bc of my gym class in high school, like rock climbing, kayaking, building fire, etc. I'm not super adventurous in my daily life but while I was in that class, I did all kinds of things.

3. for awhile I worked at a cat cafe, and helped take care of the 12-15 rescue cats we'd have there at any given time. I stand by that it was the best job I've ever had, but the people I worked with, not so much. 

33. something you want to learn

I really want to learn to skateboard or surf. it's been a dream for a long time and I have (suspiciously acquired) both, but my balance is shit and I have no patience for new skills lately, so...

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

already answered so here's three more

1. someday I want to have a pickup truck, I've been looking at, like, bright orange Tacomas and stuff, but of course I'd need a license to be able to drive one

2. I'd like to have a garden again, or maybe have a plot in a community garden. I've been growing nasturtiums and things on my balcony while in school but it's not quite the same

3. still waiting on the day I can get top surgery tbh. I just… want to be able to be shirtless at the beach and wear tank tops with nothing underneath, okay?

39. favorite sport(s)

ahahahaha… favorite sport you say. to play or to watch? 'cause I generally don't like to do either, tho I do like watching the folks who play volleyball on the beach. and considering one of my favorite shows is about volleyball and it was the sport I sucked at the least in school, maybe we’ll go with volleyball? but in general I’m not a sports person. 

40. favorite memory

I have a vague memory… of helping my mom in the garden of my old house when I was a little kid, mostly just digging in the dirt in the spring and being outside with my family… it's not very clear or specific but I think those days were some of the happiest of my life.

52. something I'm talented at

I'm good at learning the lyrics to songs, I've got over 1000 downloaded in my spotify library and I'm pretty sure I know the words to at least most of them. in a similar vein I'm good at learning the scripts to movies, and just… memorizing things in general especially audio.

53. 5 things that make me happy

already answered so here's some more!

1. songs with a light, strummy acoustic feel and creative lyrics… I've got a whole playlist for that vibe there's just something about songs like that that make me really calm

2. I really like being hugged or cuddled by my friends, just being in close proximity and hanging all over each other, makes me all warm and fuzzy inside tbh

3. I love driving with the windows down (I can't drive so I mean riding passenger lol), especially in the canyon by my house, through the forest and by the beach.

54. something that's worrying me at the moment

I’m so afraid things won’t go back to the way they were. ...that applies to multiple aspects of my life, not just with this pandemic but school, work, friends, relationships… it seems like I’m always chasing the past and dreading the future, so much that I can’t ever be satisfied in the present moment, and that’s something that’s been on my mind a lot. 

55. tumblr friends

@hadenxcharm, @spaztictwitch, @kurokonobaka, @taigainside, @hybristophilica and you could be too! all you gotta do is message me tbh I'm easy

56. favorite food(s)

strawberry cheesecake, fried shrimp, key lime pie, tuna steak

59. why I joined tumblr

I joined in 2012 bc my friends told me to, had a brief recession where I didn't use it at all, and a pretty lengthy sidetrack through the RP community, and then I came back bc of the friends I'd made here, and the unique-ness of the platform that I kinda can't find anywhere else. I'm stuck here just like the rest of y'all. 

60. ask me anything you want (which do you prefer between KNB and Haikyuu?)

now this is a tough one… bc I really love them both a lot, and tbh in terms of quality of writing, art/animation, thematic music, character development and general story, I think Haikyuu!! has KNB beat, buuuuuut…. in spite of its flaws, I have such a soft spot for KNB and I keep coming back to it over and over again even as it falls into relative obscurity. It's the only thing I write for anymore and I'm still, somehow, utterly obsessed with the characters I first fell in love with over five years ago. KNB has problems, for sure, but the things it gets right (like setting a mood, strong emotional beats and character relationships) it knocks out of the park. I don't know if I could ever choose one over the other in terms of like, "you can only read/watch one of these and have to give up the other forever", but in terms of which has had the biggest impact, and still hits me the hardest, I'd probably have to go with KNB… but it's not by any means an easy choice.     

[lovemxnot]

Summer shenanigans

Length: 4.3k (wasn't supposed to be this long)

Warnings: none I would think.

Genre: Crack honestly, Fluff, bit of angst?, friends to lovers

A/N: This has been in my drafts for more than a month and I'm sick of staring at it so, here ya go.

“Y/N come on!!”

Hyunjin yelled at you from the large wooden entrance door of the vacation house. With his luggage in hand, trying to fit his three giant suitcases through the door Simultaneously. You swore to god that boy probably only has a few functional brain cells, you have no idea how he’s so good at his studies when he was so stupid in real life.

Well, you guess it was only fair, he can't have both the beauty and the brains.

Spring break finally graced itself upon you poor university students, and Changbin ever so kindly offered you and the guys a stay at his family’s vacation house for the remainder of the break. The Seo’s are filthy rich, none of you were going to miss such a luxurious chance. It totally has nothing with you wanting to spend even more time with Changbin.

You got one foot out of the car before freezing solid in your place at what you witnessed. It wasn’t the gorgeous two stories, polished house that looks like it came out of a magazine that had you stunned, you have been friends with Changbin long enough to be used to such lavish things. Instead, it was the view that had you mum of words, The exquisite display of the variety of flowers, trees, and bushes, wind playing gently with your loose hair strands, and the sound of birds flocking away above your head, all of that combined made it look like it was one of those scenes featured on national geographic. Mother Nature at its purists form. 

The whole vibe of the house was serene and nostalgic. It oddly made you feel more at home than your own home. Probably because Changbin and anything related to him makes you more at peace than anything and anywhere else.

Naturally, the first thing you did was take out your phone and start taking pictures with it.

“Alright! I just need to document this.” You replied to Hyunjin.

“What are you? A fucking reporter?” He retorted.

“Hey, don’t be mean to Y/N!!” Changbin came from behind Hyunjin and delivered a blow to his head. A sulky, pouty Hyunjin retreated to the house with an amused Minho at his side, trying to comfort him.

Well if you count rubbing the injured persons back while laughing at their agony comforting.

You’ve met hyunjin in one of your general classes in uni, and he just so turns out to be one of Changbins many friends. Your relationship with hyunjin was hard to describe, he was as annoying as a strand of hair sticking to your lip gloss on a hot sunny day, but at the same time so annoyingly adorable and sassy that you can’t really hate him. That said, Changbin has always been your favorite.

Well, you might be a bit biased, you have been friends the longest, ever since the day he stopped those boys back in elementary from pulling on your pink bow-ribboned pigtails. You stuck to him like glue from that day on.

The rest of the boys you met as time went on, some in high school and the others in uni. Nonetheless you were close with all of them. But none had the same rapport you and changbin shared.

Well, all of that plus your ever long-lasting crush on changbin doesn't help your favoritism at all.

But really, how can you not fall for Seo Changbin? With his perfect chiseled jaw and cheekbones, Witty sense of humor, charming personality and his utmost feeling of need to take care of you, some would also mention his wealth, but that didn’t really matter to you. Honestly, anyone, your place would have fallen for him too.

Nobody knows about your little crush, or at least you hoped you were not being that transparent with your feelings. If they did know they haven't done anything to let you on.

You tucked your phone back into your shorts pocket and turned to get your luggage out of the back end of the car. Unlike a certain someone cough*Hyunjin*cough, you brought one bag only as there was only one week left of spring break.

“Let me take that” The all too familiar smell of sandalwood and ylang cologne swarmed around you before you felt a presence behind you reach a hand and take the handle of your bag from your hand. briefly trapping you between their arms and body in the process.

You didn’t have to look back to know that it was Changbin. You could tell him a mile away just by his strut. You had every single detail about him memorized, you two spent a lot of time with each other so it was only natural for you to notice how he walked when he was excited and skipped towards you to tell you all about the successful date he had the night before, or how he drops his shoulders really low when he's feeling blue after he broke up with his ex-girlfriend, or how he didn't blink when he was too invested in his game, how his chest would stop moving for a couple of seconds when a suspenseful moment appears on the movie you guys watch together. How he would eat with his eyes closed and barely able to shut his jaw to chew in the mornings, his face puffed and still lingering with sleep, how he still hasn't gotten rid of his bad habit of sleeply sneaking into your bed to snuggle with you. It was fair to say that you dedicated a lot of time studying him more than anything else. He always had his way with charming whoever he meets. It's true that he’s quiet, but that doesn't mean he doesn't speak up when he deems it needed or appropriate.

“I-i have arms of my own you know” You replied, quickly ridding the waver from your voice, Finally braving a look behind your shoulder.

“Yeah, I know.”He gave you that quirky little smile you like before heading towards the entrance.

What? What does that even mean? He really should not be able to make your heart skip a beat with just a smile....that really is unfair.

“It’s hot outside, come on!”

As soon as everyone was gathered in the main sitting area, a war of Rock Paper Scissors initiated to decide who sleeps where. You got the guest bedroom upstairs that was right across Changbin’s. Great, more chances of running into each other.

You were settling into your new temporary bedroom when a shirtless, running jisung skipped past your open bedroom door, on his way downstairs yelling, “ last one to jump into the pool cooks us dinner.” Following a loud splash noise coming from your open balcony window, then another, and another, and another... oh shit.

Changbin heard the communication and came out of the room, shirtless, exposing to you what you already knew was there. That boy went to the gym, so his ripped biceps and visible six pack line were no surprise to you, but it didn't make it any easier not to look. “ Come On Y/N, don’t want to be the sore loser” and started running downstairs

You ran back to your balcony peered over the pool, seeing all of them already in it, sitting around in floaties or swimming “ YOU ALL PLANED THIS YOU FUCKERS.” 

Your confirmation was in the form of snickers coming from the half-naked chlorine-soaked boys.

It was nearing sunset, a great time to spend it in the pool, where the water wasn't as hot as the weather around you. But since you were the designated loser, you didn’t wear your swimwear as you weren't planning on entering the pool seeing that it would delay you from making the dinner later on. Plus the boys were really rough in the pool, you were not ready for another repeat of last time.

Apparently, the boys had another idea. You stepped out on the veranda in the backyard and looked over to them, and your eyes immediately went over to one figure you knew too well, seeing as he was standing in front of you a few minutes ago.

He had his back to you, sitting on the edge of the pool, feet dipped in the water, with water dripping from the tips of his wet hair, sliding down his muscled back, Down..down..down...down-

“Y/N! are you not going to jump in?” Said figure was looking at you now. When did he even turn around?

Caught red-handed, you just retucked your lose strand of hair under your Sunhat again and replied to Changbin ”Its either I cook your dinner, or I chill in the pool. One or the other, can't be both.”

 You bearly finished your sentence when a war cry was heard from behind you. Immediately a flashback took you back to the last time you went to the pool with the guys. Standing near the edge of the cold water but not yet getting in, testing to see if it was too cold until you heard a shout, the same exact one you are hearing now, push you into the pool.

But not this time, like hell were you going to fall for that again. Once you snapped back to reality and realized the shouting was dangerously close to you, you stepped back as if you saw a trope of fire ants crawling on your feet, and looked at poor Changbin as he took the fall instead of you. A hyena-like howl was heard from Jisung lying where poor Changbin was a few seconds ago.

Mastering all the strength you have, you push an unaware jisung right next to his victim, giving him a little taste of his own medicine. Triumphantly you tell him once his head’s above the surface “ Next time you try to sneak attack me, you might not want to stat that you are, the war cry gives it away.”

“Our Lil’ baby is all grown up now, she won’t even fall for our pranks anymore” he fake cried to an equally-annoyed-as-you Changbin.

“Hey, she fell for the first one,” Hyunjin yelled from the other end of the pool, seeming to have been following your conversation.

“And you bet your ass I’m only cooking tonight to make sure that both of your meals are burnt to crisps.” You laughed internally at the horror that played on their faces, didn’t think that far ahead now have they?, ” don’t know, might add something a little extra too if I’m feeling like it.”

Changbin snorted at the two idiots that were now slowly making their way to you to beg for mercy. You ignored the two imbeciles and instead reached your hand out to help Changbin out of the pool.

He held onto your hand and pulled himself out of the pool, you slightly staggered towards him with how much strength he used to heave his drenched body out, making you sway a couple more feet closer than needed to a very wet, Topless Changbin.

Your first mistake was looking up at him. From this close, you could see everything.

“Thanks,” he muttered to you as he brushed his hair out of his eyes and face, flexing right where you can clearly see him in the hazy apricot and mauve glow of the setting sun.

A wet Changbin looking at you like that was seriously making you think some unholy, unbiblical things.

“That would have been me, so I guess I should be the one thanking.” You reluctantly, howbeit hurriedly, looked away from him and bee-lined to the barbecue grill set that was some way from the pool to get the fire started.

You were being really distant to him today and you hoped he wouldn't notice it. But honestly it was your fault, you knew there was going to be a pool, hence seeing half naked changbin, but you thought you'd be able to control yourself more than this, you really didn't want to ruin your relationship with him, you wanted to keep him by your side, even if it meant only being his friend. you can't imagine a life without him in it.

Behind the safety of the grill, you put your hand over your fast-paced beating heart, trying to calm it down. You were just friend and you have to keep reminding yourself that. he only looks at you as a young sister and that all. 

At least that's what you both thought.

The mouth-watering smell of the assorted type of meats being cooked swept over the place and slowly but surely, the boys one by one came towards you to try and steal a bite before dinner. Seungmin was the only decent one around here who was next to you helping grill the food. 

Hyunjin, for the nth time, jumped out of the pool and ran towards you, probably trying to get a bite that you just won't seem to give him.

looking at you with his best puppy dog eyes and a pout, he whined “Y/n ahhh~ You're not still angry, are you?”

You looked at him, hit his head with your tongs then continued flipping the meat,” I'm seriously going to burn the meat if you keep talking to me” you said ignoring his little yelp of pain.

He made his way around the grill and clung to your arm to stop you from accomplishing anything and pay attention to his whiny little ass “Y/N~ we were just kidding.”

Nothing, no reaction. You kept ignoring him in favor to put the new raw pieces of meat on the grill, setting the freshly cooked one on the plate beside you.

You were planning to cook dinner anyway so their stunt didn't really upset you, and being pushed into the pool wasn't new to you but it was fun messing with hyunjin even though he could get a little too whiny or clingy. It was really worth it to see his little pout every time one of the boys would come to steal a piece of meat in front of you and you would allow them, but as soon as he reached you slapped his hand away.

He was being adorable you'll give him that, but it was going to take much more from him to break your facade.

"Y/N~~ You know you love me" he pushed his face right in your line of vision, in front of the hazardous flame. “You could never hate this ” and proceeded to point at the whole 5′10 glory that he was. 

You pushed him away"Hyunjin you're going to get burnt."

"If that's what it takes to get you to forgive me" and pretended to reach his hands to the fire. You slapped out of fear of him seriously throwing his hands the fire- because everyone knows how dramatic he can be- only for it to ACTUALLY hit the edge of the hot grill and burn his hand.

He cried out in pain and you quickly, but diligently, held his hand and took him to the outdoor sink behind you "You fool!! I told you you're going to burn yourself"

he gave you the softest little pout "I'm hungry and you were being a meanie.."

"Oh now IM the bad guy?" you rubbed his scalded skin softly under the chilly water, trying to sooth it, unbeknown to you the glare that changbin was sending towards your linked hands, and Hyunjins little coy smile.

“You've always been bad, baby.”

“Ew, now any shred of guilt I had has flown away” You let go of his hands and turned towards to continue your grilling.

“Y/N ~“ he continued his whining” You ignore me, refuse to accept my apology,  starve me, throw my hands into a burning fire pit, and won't take any responsibility for my aching hands, can't you at least-”

Brimming with guilt, you stop him from rambling anymore by sticking a piece of meat into his fly trap.”There, Happy?”

Nodding his head with a look of complete mirth on his face, having finally gotten what he wanted, he waddled away. 

if it wasn't for his reddened, puffy skin you would have thought he faked his injury only so you would feed him.

Shaking your head, you focused on your task, letting a little smile slip on your face at how ridiculous that boy was. Changbin was confused at why he was fuming at how gleeful you looked thinking about a boy that wasn't him.

Bellies sticking out and any sign of a six pack now completely perished, the boys have vacuumed the table clean. not a single bite of food left, or a full bottle of alcohol in sight. Seungmin was nowhere insight (Probably passed out in his room),hyunjin and the other boys were passed out drunk on the table, they wanted to play a game of hide-and-seek but couldn't choose a person to count so they all closed their eyes to count but ended up knocking out. Jisung was drunk singing to himself sad love songs, while you and changbin were the only still sane ones in the group.  Drunk yet still aware of your surroundings.

Changbin was acting very weird throughout the whole feast. Hyunjin, who sat beside you, kept whining into your ear about how he couldn’t eat with the crucifying pain his hand was in. You already felt guilty for burning him, but seeing him hiss every time he tries to pick up his food only for it to drop out of his hold was what made you feed him. You would every so often shove some food in his mouth to shush him, and he would gladly quite down. Changbin was not amused. He didn’t spare you a look, he ate quietly and kept to himself, then jumped into the pool once he was done.

The sound of water gently swooshing, making way for changbin’s body to come through was really calming.

You sat with your legs in the pool and looked at the fluorescent lights glowing under the water, making the idea of jumping in even more appealing. Your stomach was full, mind hazy, yet whenever you sneaked a glance at changbin, you always felt a pang of emptiness in your heart.

Sure he is always there beside you, you always see him, you can hug him, touch him, hold his hand, but it pains you that it is only platonic, You have no idea when your crush on him began, probably from day one, but the idea of him going out with someone other than you was really painful to the point where it would cause you to ignore him for a couple of days before you realize that your wasting precious time where you could hang out with him instead of weeping over the unknown future. 

It was stupid. 

Really it was. 

One guy shows you kindness and you fall head over heels for him.

but then again, feelings and emotions have always been obscure.

“Y/N...?” carefully, changbin called out your name once he was close to you, snapping you out of your thoughts. Shit, you once again were caught staring at him all longingly.

“Hmm?” you try playing it off again, you were really not on top of your game today.

“Come join me“ he prodded your leg, gently giving a pull.

“I'm too lazy to go change“ Bullshit, you were making excuses and he saw right through it. being close to someone for a long time had its pros, changbin has always been good at reading you, it was a surprise it took him this long to come and talk to you about, it.

“Then just jump in“

“Nah” You already were caught staring at him twice today, you couldn't risk a third.

Having none of that, he this time pulls your legs with a sturdy grip, making you land inside the pool with a splash, his body dangerously close to you.

You would have scolded him if it wasn't for the way he was staring at you right now. His gaze held so many emotions behind it that it was hard to decipher all of them.

“Stop looking at me“ you shied away from him. Or tried at least but he realized what you were going to do and slid his hand that was leaning on the sky-blue ceramics to your side, locking you in place and sending your mind into a frenzy.

“What if I said I liked staring at you?“

Where was this coming from? he was never like this with you, where was this new surge of confidence coming from? You might have misjudged how sober Changbin was.

At this point your heart was beating so fast it could outrace Usain Bolt.

“S-Stop...Don't look at me like that..“you blushed.

“Like what?“ he’s even closer now, noses bumping each other. his hair tickling your forehead.

“Like...Like- That” You lamely ended. Not trusting yourself at this vulnerable state. his stare is piercing, peering deep into your eyes and compelling you to move closer. His gaze held a knowing glint as if he knows every dirty little secret you kept from him, but there was still hesitation dancing in the back of his iris.

you felt his other hand creep onto your hip. Making you hold your breath.

“Stop me if I’m wrong.” You had no time to think what that meant before you felt his cold, wet lips touch yours.

You fantasized this moment a lot, but never would you have thought it would actually come true. Him holding onto you real tight, a hand cupping one of your cheeks to tilt your head for better access.

It took you a moment to truly believe this was actually happing before you pushed Changbin away. Changbin didn’t like you, he was just drunk. Was what you told yourself.

“Binnie your drunk,” you couldn’t stare him in the eyes. You wished for forever for this to happen, you’ve imagined a thousand times how his lips would feel on yours. But this was breaking your heart, he just did that because he’s drunk.

He quickly shook his head, “ I didn’t drink that much.”

“Then where is this coming from? You’ve never shown any sign that you liked me.”

“I didn’t think I had feelings for you but seeing hyunjin touching really... it’s just..” he choked, “ I think I've liked you for a while now Y/N”

It’s crazy how one sentence could set a festival in your body, your hands and legs tingly, your ears ringing, and your stomach fluttering. “W-What?”

“ yeah it’s true, haven’t you seen the way he looks at you?” A voice said from above your head. Turns out Minho wasn’t as drunk as you thought he was and has been watching you two.

“Way to ruin the mood asshole” Changbin tsked.

“Hey you were the one that took a century to figure out he actually likes the only girl he gives a shit about,” it was Minho’s turn to tsk and sass back at Changbin” the whole campus already thinks you're a couple, ‘bout time both of you actually did.”

With that, he took his bottle of alcohol and made his way to his room, saluting you” enjoy the night you love birds.”

“Where was I ?” Changbin caught your attention again once Minho was nowhere in sight.

“Confessing your undying love for her ?” This time it wasn’t Minho. You both forgot that jisung was still kinda aware of his surroundings.

“Oh for fuck's sake!!” Changbin looked pissed off now, and it made you crack a smile.” Y/N come on, let’s continue this somewhere else.”

He jumped out of the pool and helped you out before dragging you inside the house, passing a snickering hyunjin and jisung at the table.

“ DONT FORGET TO COVER IT” you heard jisung yell after you.

“Oh god,” you groaned, great now they will never stop teasing the both of you with dirty comments and innuendos.

Once you reached the couch, Changbin loosened his hold and turned to you,” Now, where was I ?”

“Confessing your undying love for me?” You teased him now that you fully grasped the situation.

“Right,” he smiled.

You didn’t know if the queasiness was from his smile or the alcohol, but it made you feel good.

He held your hand, looked you straight in the eyes, and earnestly said “I really like you Y/N.” you blushed even more at his straightforwardness. but you still had doubts. you did see him drink quite a bit.

“Are you sure you're not drunk?  you're not going to regret this in the morning?”

“Oh for Jesus Christ's sake- Y/N” you jumped at the sudden frustrated voice when you noticed it didn't come from changbin, but rather from the boy that was passed out on the couch behind the pillows, completely shielding him from view. He stuck his head out from behind one pillow, his hair a mess and said “ He's been complaining to me about how perfect you are all week, Y/N this, Y/N that, just date each other already or else I'm-”

what seungmin was going to say next will forever be a mystery for changbin had smothered him with a pillow murmuring “ Go back to sleep.”

“So... it's true?”

“YES,” hyunjin, jisung, and seungmin yelled in unison. you weren't aware that dumb and dumber could still hear you both talking.

“Y/N I'm so sorry, this wasn't how it was supposed to go-” you took him by surprise with a kiss.

“I like you too Binnie,” he melted at the old nickname you used to call him.

you might have longed and suffered a lot for him, but the smile that graced his face upon your words was worth every second of the wait.     

[jamesbvck]

change your mind | one

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Modern AU, High School!Bucky) Summary: Senior Year: the last year to be a somebody or a nobody. A chance to fall in love, ace that final exam and make memories. After a terrible first impression, Bucky makes it his mission to fix the mistake he made with the new girl. Will they get their chance? Warnings: swearing, teen drinking, smoking, mention of drugs A/N: Hello! Welcome to a new Bucky story! A few notes: this story is totally meant to have a cheesy, extra teen movie vibe. Also, Bucky has short hair in this fic. Feedback in encouraged!

CYM MASTERLIST | NEXT 

Forty-five minutes outside of New York City sits a quaint town called Valhalla. The oak trees are tall and mature, the rows of houses sit one by one identical to the next. Banners hang in store windows exclaiming the town’s pride and joy of their local high school football team. Neighbours are friendly and smiles are bright. This was your new home, at least for a little while.

The final moving box was placed in the corner on top of an old dresser that had been passed down through generations. The large bay window streamed in afternoon sunlight and warmed the room. This was it, another new beginning. You were used to it by now; new town, new school, new people to stare at you in the hallways. You weren’t a stranger to introducing yourself over and over again, retelling your story of how you had been now to five schools in seven years. No place was truly a home though this time your mother promised this new job of hers was a means to an end. You wanted to believe her, truly you did, but the consequence was that it truly didn’t matter. You were going into your senior year of high school and any friends you could hopefully make would move off to college and disappear. It was bittersweet.

A slow, deep breath exhaled through your nose as your eyes explored the room. It was forest green, not your ideal colour so painting was on the to do list. For now it was unpacking and getting familiar with the neighbourhood. Your packing mainly consisted of unpacking t-shirts and mostly laying on your bed with your phone. You decided that perhaps it was best to take a walk. Your mother was busying herself with kitchen boxes and hummed along to Rick Springfield. The doorbell chimed through the home. Your mother perked up in curiosity, hurriedly making her way to answer the door.

Neighbours, you thought. And were correct. Your mother loved meeting the neighbours.

She welcomed them inside, already there was laughter and smiles. You sighed hearing your name being called. This was cake walk but you weren’t necessarily ready to meet people today after you had driven days from Indiana. So, you emerged from the kitchen.

“There she is!”

In the makeshift living room stood three individuals with welcoming smiles on their face. They looked like a family from a catalog, prim and proper.

“Sweetheart, our neighbours have kindly stopped by. These are the Carter’s: Arthur, Polly and their daughter Peggy. She’s goes to Valhalla.”

Here was the thing about being new: you had to be open to people or else it was going to be hard to adapt. High school was hard enough especially bouncing around from state to state, but there was always one person that could make it worthwhile. So you plastered on your most friendly smile and waved to them. The Carter’s waved in return and Polly Carter began to speak.

“It’s always nice to have new people in the neighbourhood. The previous homeowners were a little less than kind.” Polly commented with a pristine British accent. That caught you off guard for a moment but her voice was soothing.

“Why don’t you show Peggy around?” Your mother was beaming. She liked when you had friends around. She always wanted you to have new experiences.

You nodded and Peggy followed you. It was a quick tour through to the kitchen and a glimpse of the backyard before you took Peggy upstairs: mom’s room, bathroom, tiny guest spot and then, finally, your domain.

“I’m guessing you didn’t paint your room this horrendous green colour?”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “Absolutely not.”

“Good. I would have questioned your sensibility.”

Peggy offered to unbox your books as you continued with your clothes. She was terrific help alphabetizing the titles and making sure it was pleasing to the eye. You hadn’t met anyone like Peggy before; she was smart, humourous with hints of sarcasm and she seemed like one tough cookie. Not to mention her beauty was incredible. She dressed in soft pink structured shorts with a white blouse that had the tiniest black polka dots on them. Her brown hair had soft waves and with a beret clipping back bangs. Her lipstick even matched her shorts.

“Five schools in seven years?” Peggy’s perfectly arched brows nearly rose to her hairline as she glanced over her shoulder. “That’s exhausting.”

“It’s not at bad as it sounds.”

It wasn’t, not really. You never got too attached to things to begin with. The only thing constant in your life was good music, books, and movies. Sure, the packing and driving across state lines was taxing but it didn’t kill you.

Peggy finished with the book boxes and you finished folding the last t-shirt. You made a good team and thanked your new friend for helping you out.

“Do you think you could show me around? I was going to go out and explore before you and your parents arrived.” You never had a tour guide in new place before. You sort of just went with the flow and read whatever you could online. Peggy agreed, expression vibrant as she nearly pulled you out the door.

The rows of lookalike houses ended at a park with a jungle gym and splash pad. Children were running around and laughing, soaking in their last few days of summer. On paper and in person this town was shaping up to be something from a novel you had once read: colourful, lively and welcoming.

“I was an exchange student freshman year. My parents thought it’d be a great time for me to explore another place. At first I didn’t want to leave home, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to make friends and fit in,” Peggy told her story. “Luckily I’ve been able to become friends with some lovely people, and my parents had decided to move to America as well.”

Peggy’s dad worked for a large corporation that had headquarters in New York, California, England and France. She had lucked out in being able to stay and probably live through a high school experience. You admired her for that.

You and Peggy walked in a loop and found the quickest route to your new school: Valhalla High School, home of the Panthers. The school was exceptionally large from the outside and from what you could see their football field was top notch accompanied with a scoreboard and a vast metal grandstand for spectators. You had read it was a football town, state champions five years in a row. Impressive, really. There were a few boys out in the field tossing the football around with one of them howling about something. Your eyes lingered on the old 1940s architecture for another moment.

“I was terrified when I first walked in those doors,” Peggy caught your attention. “I wished I had someone to help me navigate, so I always said I would help someone who was in my shoes. Valhalla’s a great school with some good people. You just have to weed out the dim ones. I’ve already done that for you.”

You laughed. That might have solved some of your issues but you still had to deal with the other ninety-five percent of people that attended the school. But you were thankful, hopefully they would like you like Peggy seemed to.

It truly turned into a friendship between you and Peggy. All week she showed you her favourite spots like the bookstore she liked to get lost in. There were a few corner stores, some food joints and a bowling alley up the road. She told you about Happy Hogan’s Diner, a place her and her friends visited quite frequently. It was the hottest spot in town besides Thunder Bowling Alley. Peggy stayed for dinner multiple nights and you lounged in her immaculately clean and organized bedroom. It was an easy and quick friendship and you were beyond content. Maybe it wasn’t going to be such a strange school year afterall.

“There’s a party happening tomorrow, a ‘last summer hooray’ as some of my friends say,” Peggy’s tone was easy, unsure if you were into that sort of thing. You had been to your fair share of high school parties, so another one couldn’t hurt. “My friend Natasha wants to meet you.”

“Sure, Peggy,” you smiled with a nod. “Sounds like fun.”

Peggy hadn’t spoken much about her friends. Some of them were coming back from summer end vacations or were busy working most days.

You must have stared at your closet for thirty minutes. Time was ticking down as to when Peggy was going to come get you and you had zero clue what to wear. It wasn’t some fancy party, you thought. It was summer, still plenty humid and sticky. You would be just fine in shorts and a tank top. You hated to admit it, but you did want to make some sort of good impression. These people were going to be your peers! High school was tricky; one slip up and it’s talked about for a solid month. You dragged your hand down your face, quickly deciding on a romper and pulled it on. That was fine, it was cute and the outfit made you feel good. After a few more finishing touches, Peggy was downstairs accompanied by your mother who was telling her some story about the 80s and a party she had went to.

Peggy wore a red wrap dress with flecks of white lines. They almost looked like cupcake sprinkles, nonetheless you decided that your new friend could pull anything off and look fantastic. “Ready?” you asked, taking the last step down the stairs. Peggy grinned. “I know, mom, be safe and don’t talk to creepy men.”

“As long as you know.” You mother placed a kiss to your forehead, telling you to have fun.

Peggy promised the walk wasn’t too long (it was precisely a 26 minute uphill walk, but you refrained from complaining) and you ended up in a beautiful neighbourhood you had not explored yet. The homes were wealthy looking, the curb appeal was bougie and the expensive cars in the driveways clearly indicated that this had to be the cash zone of the town.

“Whose house is this?” You were curious, eyes wide.

“Family friend, the Starks.”

You followed her up the delicately laid pavers to the frosted glass front door. Already you could feel the music vibrating the frame of the home (more like mansion). Peggy swung open the door and the bass of the song playing struck your core. There seemed to be an infinity worth of people gathered inside and pouring outside into the rolling backyard. You stuck close to Peggy as she maneuvered through the gaggle of teenagers. You couldn’t help but dart your eyes in each direction of the place; wall to wall, ceiling to floor. The two of you broke free once there was a gap and you found yourself in the grand kitchen. There were munchies splayed on the marble island, open bottles of Coke and Sprite, empty beer cans, liquor bottles and some unmentionables.

“Figured you’d be in here.”

Sitting on the countertop was a redhead with hair cropped at her shoulders. She wore all black and a solo cup was dangling from her fingers. Her eyes were soft for Peggy yet death defying when they flickered to you. Damn, this girl could kill you with just one look.

“This your new friend you’ve been raving about?”

Peggy nodded, moving on to introductions. “This is Natasha, or Nat.”

“You got a preference?” You asked her.

Natasha shrugged, solo cup to lips. “Not particularly.” She stared for another for moments. You felt like you were silently being interrogated and you already knew never to piss Natasha off. Ever. “What do you drink?”

“Anything but tequila.”

“Probably a smart decision.” Natasha hopped off the counter and whipped up whiskey and coke, handing it over to you with what you think might have been a smile. You weren’t entirely sure but it was something. You tipped the cup to her in appreciation, then took a long swig of the alcoholic mixture.

Peggy had her arms lightly folded over her chest, pushing herself on the tips of her toes to look around. That’s when you saw Natasha smirk. “He’s outside playing beer pong with the boys. ”

You peaked interest, looking between each of them. Nothing was said but you could see Peggy had blushed. “Naturally.” She murmured.

The mixture of music kept you moving. It was a completely random compilation of old school rock mixed with new hip hop, 90s classics and disco hits. It should have been something to complain about but in fact it all weirdly worked together. Whoever was in charge had an ear for this sort of thing. You mainly stuck around with the girls, meeting a few people as you weaved through the home. You met the party host, at least briefly. Tony Stark was a guy with a devilish smirk and had an ego that radiated off of him. There were few words spoken before he was distracted by a group of three girls wearing the bare minimum of clothing and had some colourful pills. Peggy had rolled her eyes and Natasha had somehow swiped a half drank bottle of vodka from a passerby.

“I’m not drunk enough for a Stark party.” She tossed the cap and gulped down the clear liquid. You winced wondering if it burned her throat. She didn’t seem fazed.

“Where’s the bathroom?” You called to Peggy. She pointed you up the stairs and to the right, and informed you that they’d probably be outside.

You slipped away and took the dark hardwood steps up to the second floor. There were people in the hallway chatting, a couple aggressively making out, and a girl was already crying about God knows what. You slipped into the bathroom thankful there’s wasn’t a porno scene occurring. You locked the door and sighed, closing your eyes for a moment. This party was a little more extreme then previous house parties you had been too For starters, the house. Never in your life had you been in a place so colossal. There were probably a zillion rooms you hadn’t visited. But the vibe was the same. The party really wasn’t that bad. Everyone so far was decent, there wasn’t any unnecessary fights with testosterone filled boys to prove their manhood. You looked in the bottom of your cup seeing less than a sip left. Natasha had made you three of these and each time they got better; you felt pretty good. You checked yourself in the mirror before exiting the bathroom.

Finding your way to the backyard was less than a task and you weren’t even surprised seeing a ginormous pool, hot tub, and tables set up for flip cup and beer pong. There were a sea of people surrounding the area. Honestly, was the whole teenage population of Valhalla in Tony Stark’s backyard?

You began to search again, avoiding being smacked with a blown up beach ball and smushed by bodies. The smell of marijuana was potent, thick clouds as you passed a group of stoners. Your phone vibrated twice with an incoming text.

Peggy Carter: Where are you?

You squeezed passed two sweaty, drunk bodies and fumbled with your phone. You hit reply, letters incorrect as you tried to tell her that you were by the hot tub. You were struck forcefully in a head on collision. You bounced back, falling into a few people. The front of you was entirely soaked with beer; face dampened and phone flown from your hands.

“What the fuck?”

A kind stranger had brought you back onto your feet. You were drenched. You looked up seeing two guys, one appearing to be less than amused with the situation. He was clad in a letterman’s jacket, short coiffed hair and he smelled of beer and booze.

“Watch where you’re fucking walk!” You shouted at him.

“You talkin’ to me?”

“Let me see: douchebag who spilled his drink on me… Yeah I'm talking to you.”

Now he was intrigued. A smug lopsided grin was pulling at his lips. “What’s your name, dollface?”

“Fuck you.” You cursed, snatching your phone from the too perfect lush grass.

“You gotta at least buy me dinner first. I ain’t cheap,” he quipped. He took a moment to explore your chest. “The wet t-shirt contest doesn’t start for another ten minutes but I think we already have a winner.”

His pathetic and gross comment got a few howls from other guys. Some people had their phones in hands, some whispering and pointing. You were on display; a pedestal that you really didn’t want to be on tonight especially like this. Your clothes were soggy, reeking of beer and now you were in a foul mood. You immediately removed yourself from the entire situation and attempted to cover your body with your arms. Okay, this party turned out fucking awful.

You could hear him call after you with a mixture of laughter and profanity. Peggy’s voice echoed through the street. You wanted to stomp home but she hadn’t done anything wrong. Your pace slowed and Peggy’s sandals slapped against the pavement to catch up.

“Are you alright? I am so sorry.” Peggy was frowning, taking in your poor appearance.

“You didn’t do anything,” you shook your head, letting out a half hearted laugh in hopes she’d let it go. “Go back to the party. Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s okay…” Peggy shifted. Something in her own eyes looked sad about something else. “Wasn’t having too great of a time and now I’d rather watch a movie and eat pizza.”

You wanted to ask her what happened, but the look in her eye said not to. So you began to walk again, motioning for Peggy to follow. “What’s a good pizza place around here? We’ll get extra cheese on them.”

Before you knew it, the first day of school approached and like all the years before, you were plagued with nerves. You tacked it up to be that this was the final year before the rest of your life, as your mother would say anyway. And it was a new school. But you had Peggy, and possibly Natasha. You weren’t too sure but you think she liked you, Peggy said she did. There was no real dress code minus the banishment of spaghetti strapped shirts and short shorts, so you were pretty safe clothing wise. Shorts and a t-shirt were going to work perfectly.  You tugged on a t-shirt that dipped pretty low. Your chest wasn’t out on display but there was visible minimal cleavage apparent. Slowly your face faltered, remembering the wet t-shirt comment that asshole had made. It shouldn’t have affected you, yet here you were flinging out t-shirts that covered your skin more.

Shoes on and backpack zipped, you were out the door. Peggy was waiting at the corner, waving as you approached. She took you on the quick route to school chatting the entire way. The school grounds were absolute mayhem: parents dropping off their kids, freshman already lost and confused, bundles of students crowding the parking lot and stairs. You stuck to Peggy closely when you headed in through the front doors. She lead you to your locker and made sure you got into it okay.

“So your history class will down the hall, turn right and it’s the third door. English Lit on the second floor, then I’ll see you at lunch.”

You yanked open the blue painted metal door, slipping off your bag and took out some notebooks. “Thanks, Peggy, for everything.”

She smiled, waving it off. “Don’t be late for lunch!”

You sorted out your locker when Peggy left, taking out your notebooks for the first two classes. This high school was a lot more boisterous compared to your previous one. You glanced around observing your now peers crowding the hallway. Suddenly the students parted like the red sea. Your brows furrowed at the scene; students squishing themselves against each other and lockers. There were a group of four boys clad in Valhalla Panthers letterman jackets. You blinked a few times trying to figure out if they were actually walking in slow motion or if you had seen way too many shitty teen movies. You could practically hear Thin Lizzy’s The Boys Are Back in Town playing. The boy in the front was blonde, had nearly perfect skin, and a model’s jawline that could cut someone. His smile was angelic.

The one on his left had Denzel eyes, a toothy grin and confidence that oozed from him. He stood tall, upper body fit and well built. Tall, dark, and handsome was an understatement. The farthest one appeared slightly older, had a sloppy smile but overall didn’t appear to care too much. He had some rips in his jeans, converse dirty and drumsticks tucked into his back pocket. Then it was him: douchebag boy from Stark’s party. Immediately resentment bubbled in your stomach and you wanted to lay a firm punch against his jaw to knock off his stupid Ray Bans he was wearing inside. You turned away, not bothering to stare any longer.

You gathered your supplies and checked the time: two minutes until the bell rang. You shut the door, startled by douche boy resting against the lockers. He remove his sunglasses, looking at you. “You’re the girl from the party right? The one I said should win the—“

“What do you want?” You latched on the padlock and began to stalk away. He was quick, keeping in time with your pacing.

“I wanted to apologize,” he started. You scoffed. “Honest. Look I was a fucking jerk. I was drunk and didn’t even know what I was saying. Sometimes I say stupid shit.”

He fixed his immaculate coiffed hair which you knew he spent more than five minutes on. You didn’t care for his apology or whatever else he had to say. The bell rang and kids started to scatter. “You done? I gotta go to class.”

You darted away, going into your history class. You were one of the first ones in, taking a seat in the third row by the window. He followed, persistent as hell and occupied the seat next to yours. You shot a glare.

“I don’t care for your apology so you can get lost and go to class.”

He chuckled, setting his sunglasses on the desktop and took out a pen from his pocket. “This is my class.”

“Fuck off.”

You weren’t in the mood for boys and their desperation for a girl’s attention. It was pathetic and he seemed pretty dense.

“You think I’m jokin’?” He flipped open his spiral spine notebook and took out a folded piece of paper handing it to you. You snatched it, unfolding it. Low and behold there it was, first period AP American History in room 109.

When was the deadline to switch classes?

You also couldn’t help but notice he had AP Physics in the afternoon. Your forehead crinkled at the thought that this guy who made a sexist comment could have some intellect. There was no fucking way.

The door slammed shut causing you to jolt at the sudden noise. You dropped the paper back down on the boy’s desk catching his facial expression flounder. His shoulders became rigid and he looked pissed off.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, grumbling to himself.

Your attention turned back to the older man who wore a grey suit. Chalk screeched down the board with the name MR A. PIERCE in all capitals. The room’s chatter was quickly tabled as he turned around and surveyed the classroom. He unbuttoned his suit and stuck his hands into his pants beginning to pace behind his desk.

“As you can see, I am not Mr Phillips. Due to an accident, I will be your teacher for this semester. If you think this class is going to be watching movies and filling in the blank sheets, you may leave. If you think in this class you can sit and gossip with your friends, you may leave. If you think you can slide by and not do any homework, you can leave now.”

The room was pin drop silent. Mr Pierce continued to pace. “This is the start of your final year. I will not tolerate anything below a seventy-five percent average.”

The boy shifted in his seat next to you, more muttering and swears.

“Do we have a problem. Mr Barnes?” Pierce called out.

His eyes narrowed, a firm grip on his pen. “No sir.”

“Excellent. Let’s begin.”

Barnes was out of his seat the second the bell rang. You packed up your books and shook your head. The class wasn’t that bad, but Pierce was intimidating as hell. English Lit flew by in what seemed like minutes. The cafeteria was packed like sardines and you were glad to get your food and head outside. Peggy had sent you a text letting you know she was sat at round table on the east end. You found her easily this time, sitting down with a sigh.

“Going alright?” She asked. Peggy had some books open already highlighting and underlining. You shrugged, picking at your food.

Natasha came with a huff, sitting down on your other side. Her bag dropped to the ground and she set her tray on the table. “First day of school and I already want to stab Clint for telling the same story fifty times.”

Peggy smiled, jotting something down in her notebook. “Didn’t even last five minutes at their table.”

“Not sitting with us today Romanoff?”

You glanced up seeing angelic boy. Perhaps it was the sun but you swore their might have been a halo floating over his perfect head. He had one hand shoved into the front pocket of his jeans, a relaxed posture. His shirt looked too tight under that jacket.

“Choosing to sit with people who aren’t talking about Katie Bishop for the umptheenth time.”

He chuckled, shaking his head before looking at you. “We’re in Coulson’s English Lit together right? I think I was sitting in front of you. I’m Steve.”

Angel boy had a name: Steve. Steve Rogers, in fact. You gave him a kind smile, introducing yourself. Then the dynamic changed. Peggy was trying not to chew on her pen, shielding her eyes away from Steve as he turned to her.

“Hey Pegs,” he greeted sweetly. “Classes going okay?”

“You know…” Peggy shrugged casually. “They’re as good as they can be.”

Steve was nodding along to every word, shifting his weight from leg to leg. You looked between the two as silence formed amongst the background chatter. High suspicious.

“Hey Cap!”

Steve broke his eye contact with Peggy to see one of his friends waving him over. “I’ll see you guys later.” He waved, parting ways to the table under the large oak tree.

“Jesus Christ,” Natasha laughed. “You both are so dense.”

You looked at Peggy, brows arched. She straightened up, shaking off the simple (yet impactful) conversation she had with Steve. She wasn’t going to budge so you switched gears. “Why do they call him Cap?”

“Steve’s the quarterback of the football team, the captain, hence the nickname Cap,” Peggy explained. “So, Sam Wilson, they guy sitting on his left is one of his best friends. Genuine person, good for talks. Runningback on the team. Then there’s Clint--”

“Ugh.” Natasha joked.

Peggy laughed. “Clint’s actually doing senior year again due to an incident that shall not be named. He’s a guard, also plays the drums. And then--”

“Douchebag boy from the party.” You muttered. “He’s in my history class.”

Peggy frowned. “Bucky. He’s really not that bad once you get past, well, everything. He’s Steve’s best friend since they were kids. Wide Receiver, probably the best in the state.”

You glanced over. Their table was a little rowdy with the boys talking and some girls joining. Bucky caught your gaze and held you for a moment, tipping his head with a smile in a hello. Your eyes rolled and you saw him laugh. Clint patted Bucky’s shoulder and he got up from the table, sticking a cigarette in between his lips as he walked off to the smoker’s pit near the student parking.

“Two things to know: One, football is the only thing driving this town. And two, they’re treated like royalty. While some of them have egos, perks of knowing them aren’t so bad.” Natasha’s information was interesting.

You recalled that this team was five-time champions, so yeah, there was bound to be some small town fame to it. Besides, you didn’t have to be friends with Bucky.

Days seemed to roll on, but the first two weeks went by in the blink of an eye. Peggy had gotten you to join the Yearbook committee that met twice a week after school. It was something to look good on paper for whatever the future held. Steve had become your buddy in English Lit which made the boring class a little less dull. Bucky was still, well, Bucky. The title of douchebag was still crowned to him but it wasn’t as bad. Perhaps you got good at ignoring him or you just didn’t care. He was still persistent as ever to try and talk. According to Natasha via Sam, Bucky had made it his goal to try and make it up to you. Whatever the hell that meant. You wanted no part of it.

Peggy was staying late after Yearbook meeting on a Thursday. You gathered your things and headed out, dreading the essay you had to write for Pierce’s class that was due on Monday. You hadn’t been hit with so much work for one class in your life. Sure, it was nearing October and there was no more time for relaxing but Pierce was a heavyweight teacher. You sighed, pushing open the side doors to start on home. At least it was pizza night for dinner.

You jogged down the steps and detoured to the sidewalk. Your name was called and you glanced over your shoulder seeing none other than Bucky. He flicked the end of his cigarette before taking long strides to catch up.

“How was Yearbook?��� He asked easily.

“Stalking me, Barnes?”

He laughed. “Nah, Peggy’s in the club and Steve told me you joined too. Plus, practice just ended so I was on my way home.”

You nodded. “Well, goodbye.”

“Wait! I wanted to ask you something,” Bucky gently tugged at your elbow. You breathed out, stopping to look at him. You were impatient, blinking to indicate you didn’t have all day. “First game of the season is tomorrow. Are you going to come watch?”

You scanned over Bucky’s face. It appeared to be a genuine question, no hidden agenda and his expression was neutral. He was curious.

“Don’t know. Might have other plans.”

“Well, if you change your mind, we all go out to eat after so you’re welcomed to join us. Happy Hogan’s has the best burgers.” Bucky took a step back, finished with his spiel. “Think about it.”

He walked backwards momentarily, fishing car keys from his pocket. You lingered as he climbed into a granite coloured Jeep Wrangler. He peeled off shortly after, heading west. Peggy had spoken to you earlier about the game tomorrow night and before you could even reply she was making plans to carpool and pick up Natasha along the way. It was settled before you could think.

Peggy was in her father’s car at 6:15pm. You grabbed your jean jacket and shrugged it on before getting in the passenger's seat. Her exterior was giddy. You hadn’t taken Peggy as being a football fan but you had a small hunch as to why she was in a smiley mood. Natasha was waiting at the end of the driveway, climbing into the backseat with her upper half clad in a leather jacket.

The parking lot at school was filled. Peggy managed to find a spot next to science wing of the building. You took in the exterior of the night. It was dusk and the flood lights of the field were switched on. It illuminated the entire field as well as the grandstands. The scoreboard was lit up: VISITOR VS PANTHERS and a countdown timer until official kick off. You followed Peggy and Natasha, crossing in front of the Panthers cheerleaders. You didn’t know details, but you knew Natasha had been a cheerleader up until the middle of junior year. There was an altercation with another girl that got her suspended for three days and kicked off the team. A few girls whispered as she passed by.

Luckily there was some room on the bench in the third row. Peggy sat in the middle with you on her left. The left side of the field was blank while the right had the town rivals, Ria High Kronans, warming up. The wind was cool, blowing around the spectators. It was nearing seven. The music from the surrounding speakers lowered in volume and antipatiation built up. In the far corner a bustle of fog erupted from the locker room entrance. The trusty Panther mascot cut through the fog, pretending to sneak around and quiet down the crowd with a finger to the mouth of the panther head. Everyone seemed to oblige. Slowly music started to build up and the panther started to count down with his large paw from five, four, three, two… The panther raised his arms up and the crowded exploded with cheers.

Here are your five time state champions, the Valhalla Panthers!

More cheers and whistling. The team barrelled through the fog and onto the field; a cluster of boys being praised by townsfolk. It was like Natasha had said: this town was driven by football. A song picked by Sam Wilson was playing as their pump up track. Sam along with Steve, Bucky, and Clint walked to the center of the field with the giant panther logo. They were met with four Ria players and a referee for the coin toss.

Peggy breathed out slowly. “Let’s hope it doesn’t end in a fight.”

Brock Rumlow was the quarterback for Kronans. There was definitely hostility and egos between the two teams. The coin flipped and it appeared that the Panthers had first possession of the ball. The ref walked off but the boys lingered. Sam backed off first, then Clint. Bucky and Rumlow seemed to exchange some words with Steve having to yank on Bucky’s jersey to fallback.

Steve let go of Bucky, shaking his head and Bucky shrugged his shoulders. Clearly Bucky was an instigator. Peggy straightened up as Steve glanced over to the stands. She wiggled a few of her fingers at him and gladly, Steve waved in return. You turned to look at her, Natasha snickering on her other side.

“Not a word from either of you.” Peggy instructed.

It was pretty obvious after the first day of school that Peggy and Steve were smitten. Even worse that it had been nearly three years and nothing had happened. You smiled to yourself, laughing on the inside. It was going to be an interesting four quarters.

You were quick to register who everyone was. Steve was number four, Clint sixty-nine (this was more of a joke than anything else to him), Sam twenty-three and Bucky ten. The audience knew the cheers by heart, stomping their feet and clapping their hands. You nearly covered your ears when Bucky was running down the sidelines, wide open, and caught a 30-yard pass from Steve.

Touchdown: Panthers, #10: Bucky Barnes.

The victory was given to Valhalla, score of 21-10. Admittedly, it was an exhilarating game to watch. And you quite liked the small town vibe of people coming together to be one. You could feel the rush and excitement from the atmosphere, even finding yourself fully into the game and learning the cheers. Honestly? You sort of couldn’t wait for the next home game.

People descended from the stands and poured out into the field and parking lot. Peggy and Natasha had a spot by the field gate where they’d wait for the boys. You sat on top of the picnic table and watched the flood of cars exit the school.

“Rumlow was going to fucking deck you!” Sam laughed.

You glanced over seeing the boys walking out of the doors. Bucky had his head down, short dark hair wet and messy. He had a cheeky smile and a cool surface, both hands shoved into his pockets with his gym bag over his shoulders.

“We goin’ go Happy’s? Fuckin’ starving.” Clint slumped down next to Natasha, leaning his head back.

“Holding back big burly boys makes you hungry?” Nat asked.

Clint smirked, “Famished.”

Bucky parked himself next to you, adjusting the strap of his bag. “Looks like you changed your mind.”

“Couldn’t say no to Peggy,” you shrugged. “Plus it was a free ride.”

He hummed in response. He had a lingering gaze and you felt slightly heated, quickly glancing away at Sam who sat down. “I’m glad you came.” Bucky replied sincerely. “Next time if you need a ride, let me know.”

Your lips parted but nothing came out. Instead there was a collective decision to go to Happy’s before it got packed. The boys headed to Bucky’s Jeep and you gathered back into Peggy’s car.

“Careful where you tread. Waters rougher than it looks.” Nat nudged your ribs.

Your brow rose, puzzled with her words. “What do you mean?”

Natasha was silent, only a smirk gracing her red lips as she slipped into the passenger’s seat. Your head shook, getting into the backseat. As far as you were considered, you were on the shore watching everyone from the sand.

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[sending-the-message]

The same kid has been trick or treating me for the last 10 years by HandjobOfTheKing

Halloween is right around the corner and it's the time of the year I dread more than any other; more than the anniversary of my father's death or when I have to elbow people out of the way for TVs on Black Friday. And it all started a decade ago.

I was 25 back then, and the first time I felt too old to go out knocking on my neighbours' doors asking for sweets. I had not long moved out of my parents' house and had found a quiet little houseshare with three other guys. They had all gone to get pissed while I stayed in doing work that was long overdue.

Halloween that year was a typical cheesy 80's movie affair - the wind was howling like a starved wolf and the rain lashed harder than a sadistic slave master. The whole gimmick bored me rigid so when the first groups of children turned up begging for charity, I promptly shut the door in their faces. Their costumes were profoundly home made with a bargain supermarket vibe to all of them. Lack of imagination.

It was around 10:30pm that I first saw the kid. He couldn't have been any older than eight. He was with three other children decked head-to-toe in flowing black robes with an assortment of grim reaper masks adorning their tiny faces.

This one lad, however, had gone all out (or more likely his parents had) to terrify. He wore rags so tattered and torn that they could hardly be called clothes. He was barefoot, with his feet scabbed and ripped and covered in congealed blood. His skin had been discoloured to give it a putrefied appearance. There was however, no odour to him.

As I fixated upon the boy, I began to realise that none of his companions seemed to notice he was there, nor the spine-chilling gash that ran across his neck or how his eyes bulged with a permanent sense of horror.

Whilst I was clearing away the other kids, this one boy just stood and stared right at me. He made no movement other than to offer a festering right hand to me, presumably for sweets. I finally snapped out of my delirium and slammed the door in his face.

That was ten years ago, and I still remember every rivlet of water running down his face. How he didn't seem to register the burning cold against his ruined skin. How he gave no response when I told him to: "get the fuck off my garden". That night I didn't answer the door to any more disturbers because I sensed that the kid would still be out there. When I went to bed that night, I checked quickly out of my bathroom window, which overhung the front door, to see him standing at the end of my garden, staring into my face, arm still extended...

I had woke the following morning to find my property thankfully child-less and I began to put him down to being more of a symptom of my tiring day at work and slowly my brain deleted him from its cache. That was, until the following October 31st...

Fewer trick or treaters that year. Just a handful of people barely even trying to spook. Some asking for money and one or two for drugs. It was becoming increasingly clear that Halloween was falling by the wayside in the neighbourhood. I, myself, was content to settle myself in my living room (my housemates had all moved out and left me over the last 12 months) with bourbon and a few softcore movies and fall into a deep sleep. Which I was rudely awoken from at 10:30 on the dot.

That's not to say that "something" woke me, but I was definitely jerked out of a potentially nice slumber. I was hit by that fairly common chill that some people get when someone "walks over your grave". Every inch of my skin pulsed and stood on end, like a gazelle sensing a predator.

Dozily, I wandered into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. While I was refreshing myself over the sink, I made the awful decision to look up, and saw a sight which haunts me to this day.

The boy from the year before.

His face was pressed against my window, completely expressionless with those wild, bulging eyes locked on me, unfocused. I jumped back, hitting the unit on the other side of the kitchen, giving me a searing pain on the back of my head. All the while, the boy continued to stand there, looking right into my kitchen. He made no movement to try and break the window. In fact he showed no signs of wanting to hurt me at all. His hand was still outstretched and the "make-up" he wore on last year's Halloween still etched his face, though more tatty than then - as though it had decomposed slightly.

I slinked up to bed and the next day, as before, he was gone. I was beginning to think a prank was being played on me.

Now, this has happened every Halloween since that day in 2007. This boy has turned up, either on his own, or with a group that doesn't know he's there, and just stares at me. I watched him until 2am a few years ago whilst he stood at the bottom of the back garden staring up into my bedroom. I thought about calling the police once or twice but he's showed no signs of aggression so I don't know how much help they would be. What worries me is how he has not aged once over the last decade...

Anyway, with Halloween so close I just wanted to get this out there. I suspect he will be back again this year and for once I am going to be tough and speak to him. I'm 35 after all and he's just an orphan in Harry Potter's hand-me-downs.

Happy holidays, everyone!

[wildflowerfiction77]

Burning Bridges 1

Burning Bridges

By Daniel Vera

8/23/2019 8:41pm

 A Story

A story of revelation.  A story of Heaven and Hell.  A story of love and fate.  A story of truth and fame.  A story of lies and pain.  A story of real and fake.  A story of lose and gain.  A story of friends and music.  A story of betrayal and death.  A story of the entire world and one mind.  A story of Hollywood and a story of forgotten people.  A story of rolled dice.  A story of lost love or never real.  A story of family decimated.  A story of a hidden treasure at the bottom of the sea.  A story of pyramids.  A story of ancient myth.  A story of future visions.  A story of spirits and man.  A story of warring armies.  A story of blank checks with no pen.  A story of a burning buildings in New York.  A story of gangs and government.  A story of black holes in Hollywood.  A story of hidden cameras and naked actors.  A story of Atlantis.  A story of superheroes.  A story of vampires and zombies.  A story of Bruce Lee and Nazi America.  A story of dead poets.  A story of songs sung by Mozart and Taylor Swift.  A story of the Military, CIA and MK Ultra.  A story of cartoons and rap music.  A story from a galaxy far far away.  A story of approaching comets.  A story of 33.  A story of black and white.  A story of Red Skins.  A story of nuclear war.  A story of blue water in the sky.  A story of James Bond and Gilbert Grape.  A story of TV commercials.  A story of fat kids.  A story of ninjas and samurai.  A story of rebellion and anarchy.  A story of dragons and phoenix.  A never ending story.  White tigers and black turtles.  Buffalo women and tobacco.  Hummingbirds and Butterflies.  Flowers and Hearts.  Stars and Sky.  Earth and Moon.  Dreams and walking...

 Dreams

I awoke in my pajamas.  It was a normal day like any other day.  I had 15 days to make $500 to pay the rent.  I had an ex girlfriend that butt dialed me while she was partying.  I listened for around ten minutes to see if I could hear if she was with a guy or having sex.  I couldn’t tell and so I hung up the phone.  I hated her because my heart felt pain every time I though of her with someone else and I knew she didn’t deserve it.  I guess it might have been the times that there was a genuine love that was being created, like the countless hours of laying in bed and staring at each others eyes while sharing kisses and caressing fingertips.  Or the unexpected gifts to encourage me to become a stronger man.  The late night fights where I sat at the locked bedroom door pleading to be let in, while she wept in bed because she got jealous of another woman she thought I was staring at when we went shopping.  Or the years of waking up next to her as the sunlight broke through the curtains and staring at her sleeping with a golden light shinning on her brown skin. red lips and black messy hair.  Or the times my arm fell asleep underneath her head as we cuddled for as long as possible until we had to readjust to find a diagonal leg and arm pattern, still crossing touch.  Then I thought about all the times she destroyed my heart and continued my day. 

I began walking on the air to meet with God.  We had scheduled a few meetings.  The great creator always knew I would be late.  I guess God knew me pretty well and adjusted time itself to add the twenty minutes for me to catch the 9:14 cloud.  On this day we talked about the meaning of struggle.  I had been having this reoccurring dream about being crushed by wave after wave in the ocean, and not being able to catch my breath.  God reassured me that the waves were meant to strengthen me and that I wouldn’t drown.  Although it was somewhat comforting to hear, I rebutted that the dream felt real and it was causing me stress.  I had felt that the waves were unneeded and they were keeping me from being able to recover from previous ailments that I was still healing from.  God just smiled and looked at me with grace.  When I left the office I was thinking of some toast and jam, since I had forgotten to eat before I left.  I did thank the Great Spirit that gives life and did say some prayers before scheduling a meeting a few months later and commenting on the beautiful flowers to the secretary.  It was a good meeting.

I then proceeded to fighting monsters and saving damsels.  I thought I was doing pretty good.  It was almost like living in a movie, where you get to be Conan.  But I didn’t realize it was all the parts where he was being held captive, being tricked or stuck in a room full of mirrors.  So I turned the channel to see if I could find out another version of the same story that was a little more modern.  That's when the television went static and I started howling with the old mystics from the Dark Crystal.  I had fallen asleep to that movie, and somehow I was joining in the call to gather the ones that were left to make the journey.  I thought it was just a happenstance, until the small town started to share a video that someone had recorded, until it became the new thing.  They made a dance, a soft drink, a Netflix show, chicken and pizza commercials, the next 5 years of billion dollars movies, including Star Wars, was about it.  They even started bombing countries and making new religions.  It was crazy.  There wasn’t a TV or movie screen that it wasn’t on every five minutes for years.  I even saw it on Facebook.

Then they the military started burning the forest to sell lemonade and electric cars that still used oil and nuclear power.  This is when I knew something was going on.  Then a bunch of ex presidents started appearing in Kanye West videos and Quentin Tarantino movies with “kiss me, I am Jewish” stickers on their foreheads.  This is when I knew things were getting out of control of even the CIA.  The girl scouts started selling machine guns to the homeless.  The TV news people were smoking joints, eating hot dogs and advertising “Shamoo”.  The comedians began making signs to love one another and became civil rights politicians and activists.  They didn’t say any good jokes though.  I’m not sure why, but the politicians began making everyone laugh.  It was a circus that was only topped by Silicon Valley taking Ubers to Outer Space.  They said they were going to mars, but they took too much LSD and ended up going too far, and circled back to China, not knowing it was a parallel universe and they were lost.  Meanwhile on earth, the Patriots won another Superbowl which made ten in a row.  Everyone dressed in Captain America costumes during a white rappers reunion, singing country songs with the Spice Girls paying tribute to all the musicians that were killed in the last seven years.  It was a really long half time show.  Its still going on.  Kapernick has Snoop Dogg braiding his hair while they start a venture capital business with Donald Trump and Kevin Spacey for a Martha Stuart line of hemp products at Walmart.  The hemp is really Monsanto bio engineered, but they figure they’re burning down the Amazon in Brazil, no one will notice.  

So I turned off the TV and ate some waffles.  My ex girlfriend left some blueberries in the freezer, so I used those with some peanut butter and jam and butter.  As I started eating the five stack, I saw something moving out my window.  I saw Miley Cyrus twerking on the front lawn.  I looked at the waffles and thought maybe there was something weird in the ingredients.  Then George Bush, the CIA guy, was dancing with her and I knew the waffles had some weird shit going on, so I threw them in the garbage.  Fucken ruined my breakfast.  Every five minutes I looked out the front window to see if they had left, and sure enough, they were still there, except they would change faces.  Next was the Rock and Scarlette Johanson, then Bill Gates and the Queen of England, then the White Stripes.  I thought it might have been the blueberries.  She said she ordered them from Ashton Kusheten, and that dush liked to play jokes on people, and started doing Bruce Willies wife, so I figured that was it.  They must have been laced with something.  I took a nap till they wore off.  

The next day I was able to make it to the car without anything super weird happening.  Someone did steal my Bruce Lee movies and my kids toys from the car.  I must have left the window open.  I knocked door to door around the neighborhood to ask if anyone had seen anything weird, other than Miley Cyris.  It dawned on me that I never spoke to any of my neighbors for the five years I had lived in the house.  The first house was a bunch of cats sitting around a living room.  They were doing yoga and smoking huka, so everything they said sounded like cats fighting underwater.  I didn’t get any answers.  The next house was three little pigs and a wolf.  They were watching the news and eating cereal.  They said they had just moved in and didn’t see anything.  It was peculiar that they had a giant poster of me in their kitchen.  I figured they must be fans.  They smelled like weed.  Every house had some fairytale vibe to it, or a Disney cartoon.  Squirrels, Vikings, Revenge of the Nerds, even a Steven King house.  The last one was a Dukes of Hazard reunion.  They were cooking burgers on the bar b que, and they were nice enough to have the girl in Daisy Dukes make me a quarter pounder with cheese.  We started seeing each other.  I called her when I got horny and she would come over.  I still didn’t find my stolen stuff.  I figured Karma would make the rounds.  

When I drove away, I started seeing smoke.  I wasn’t sure where it was coming from.  It didn’t seem to be originating from the car, so I started looking around.  Planes were flying past me and leaving these trails of smoke, but that wasn’t it.  I looked in my rear view mirror and saw burning bridges across the whole country.  That's when I knew who stole my Bruce Lee movies.  

  Meat and Cattle

 In a long dark cavern, I saw a few faces staring in front of sunlight, casting shadows like dancing puppets.  They had orders to submerge me into submission, by who, I wasn’t sure.  During that time, there was a lot of turmoil happening in the world and in the small town in which I was living.  It seemed that the local white power groups were stock pilling machine guns and ammunition.  They would have weekly fight club gatherings in the mountains and practice military drills to kill “niggers, Jews and spics”, and now the Chinese and Russians.  I guess they were Irish and Scottish, but probably a mixed breed of good ol’ boys.  

I’m not sure how “the gays” became part of the picture, but they arrived in droves.  They all gathered at Duff Tavern, a place in the Simpsons cartoon.  It was absolutely insane.  Along with the Trans community, there were hipsters, hopsters, fibsters, and mobsters.  Not to mention, some pretty hot women in the form of pixies and catholic nuns.  On the jukebox was Rage Against the Machine, because sometimes I would hack the airwaves, just to annoy the patrons.  The Clamsters would stand watch outside while the Bob Dylan look a likes would secretly grow weed and sell it to Colorado, Texas and New York.  They had a good set up going.  They would smuggle pounds of grass in their beards.  When asked why their beard was green by the police or FBI, all they would have to say is it was an Irish thing.  It seemed to work.  

But after a few years, the government went in and started replacing some of the farms with robots.  The robots would answer to the Matrix and all was well for a while.  I noticed this because I lived in the small town and would often have art shows and play music with the other monkeys.  Sometimes on the news they would televise a social order black ops operation.  In the war of the weeds, all the multi-armed gangs would hide in the mountains behind trees and rocks.  They would shoot at each other just to make sure no one was stealing their crops.  The cops didn’t mind, since they would get a part of the profit, and sometimes the whole thing, depending on orders from the FBI, and ultimately the CIA and Homeland Security.  

They would cut up a cow and leave it hanging upside down to attract the wolves.  They caught a lot of wolves that way and turned them into guard dogs.  The cats had to be more careful since they were house cats, and not the Lions they wanted to be.  Some of them thought they were Tigers, but that was just something on TV.  It was a long summer.  Everyone was waiting for 2012 and aliens.  They would give palm readings and read the cards on your forehead to make sure you were a monkey.  God forbid you might be Godzilla.  That would mean you were Japanese and those nips tried to bomb Pearl Harbor in a movie made by Steven Spielberg in the 80’s.  

The new threat in Los Angels was the threat of the Mexicans and particularly, the Zapatistas.  So the U. S. planted a tariff on marijuana distribution.  Although they needed the plant to help with cancer and injured vets brains, they had to make sure they could use that extra money for more robots.  They started pumping all that money into Silicon Valley and I Phones.  They needed to make sure Facebook would convince people that everyday is business as usual.  No one can have a new thought, it would counter balance the already shaky control system that sat upon fake money.  So to go with the fake money, they created fake news, fake wars, fake presidents, fake jobs, fake laws, fake food, fake causes, fake movies, fake soap operas, fake drugs, fake toilets, fake videos, fake people on the internet, fake names to go with those people, fake gang wars, fake drug busts, fake homeless people, fake housing crisis, fake TMZ news, fake Kanye, fake cake, fake husbands and wives, fake kids, fake Wall Street, and fake music.  Along with those fakory items, they made fake laws and juried trials.  I saw a documentary on Netflix.  It could have been fake.  

  The Cafe

 I would go to the cafe daily.  It was like a meditation.  Sometimes I would play music there, sometimes I would draw.  I always noticed the same faces.  Once in a while, a gorgeous red head or brunette would come sit at my table and flirt with me over a mocha.  At this time I was through with blonds, kinda like Arnolds’ “Total Recall” movie.  It was a good five years.  I never had so many Red Sparrows fly to my window at once.  I was a greedy kid at the ice cream shop, so I tried all the flavors.  This town was a small concentrated town, so I didn’t know they were connected to all the gangs in the world.  I didn’t know that they have been hunting savages for generations, and they had marked me as soon as I grew some pubic hairs.  They already had submitted my parents and were working on the rest of the Wu Tang Clan.  So when I found out, I tried to warn everyone, but it was too late, they had already turned or were captured.  The Cladavors had used Aliens to possess each other and play role playing games to kill the time.  

They did pay well, from all that weed and coke money.  They gave my ex boat rides and free soda.  They even gave all of the Clan free weed fields and free cars and houses.  But really, they had to do a lot of favors in return, like video tape me having sex with gorgeous women and then they would make fake porn and put it on the fake dark web.  The pink clampers liked to watch those between football games and CSI.  They made a lot of money from those as well.  Meanwhile, I was figuring out what kind of mocha I wanted.  I wrote a lot of letters during that time and finished a lot of paintings.  I learned how to sing, and practiced on my mating skills.  Every time I would walk outside, I saw five clams and three turtle doves.  My stomach hurt a few times, but the Doctor reassured me that I was fine and had nothing to worry about.  So I kept eating ice cream, since it was free.  I got good at it, I could have won a contest or the Olympics.

But then my arch rival appeared in the form of my ex.  She got even better looking and I got fat from all the ice cream.  I was still practiced up, but she had some Kriptonite on me.  I didn’t realize she had been zombified as well.  I wasn’t sure if it was the same quirks or new ninja moves she was using on me.  One thing that was sure, was that she always won.  It frustrated me to the point of no return.  She kept coming back to me for more ice cream, but I refused to share.  I threw it in the freezer along with my heart.  When she stopped calling, I pulled my heart out, but it stayed cold for too long, and I had thought it died.  I put it in a vase and watered it every now and again.  Mostly just wrote poems about it.  

Eventually I stopped going to the cafe, since that was the place that I had met her.  I started making instant coffee, then started brewing my own from a used coffee machine that had a timer and automatic alarm clock built in.  Every time I would drink a special brew, I would remember the mocha’s we shared.  I would see pictures of her on Facebook once in awhile drinking mocha's with Asheton Klamster.  That really pissed me off.  Then she got the role as Wonder Woman.  It was like, “what the fuck?”  Fuckn Taylor Swift and Kanye, Miley and Mickey, Goons and Goblins, Jews and Gentiles, Obama and Trump, Star Wars and Dumpsters, Guns and Weed.  All I needed now was my family to turn on me and the Government to MK Ultra me.  I saw Bluebirds in the midst of Project Damn Daniel.  It was astounding.  It was almost like they had watched the Dark Crystal too.  

They got me on the run, and then I saw Kapernick with an Afro.  I had thought he was Middle Eastern.  Then all of a sudden, blond people started showing up.  They were dancing naked everywhere I went.  I would go to the grocery store, and there they were.  I would go to the bank, and there they were.  I would go to the book store, and there they were.  At first I thought they were some kind of religious group, then I concluded that they were a rock band in a video game.  I had saw it advertised on a commercial a few years prior.  It was a game from MK Tupac.  I had read it in a New World Order book from the early 1900’s.  Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud co-wrote it.  That’s when my brother called me to ask me how I was doing.

The only answer I had was “How the fuck do you think I’m doing?”  Then my first ex called to tell me she’s having another baby and if I wanted to co-sign for a new car.  I was like, “Bitch, I haven’t seen you since the 1800’s, how the fuck does your ghetto ass want a co-signer after you stole my sperm in 97 and then stole my life in 99?”  Needless to say, I co-signed.  I thought it was for the kid, but I think she got her nails did.  

  The Science

 It was a virtual video game and everyone wanted to play.  It was one of those soldier games where everyone is a shooter.  I had thought I had seen my brother in a bunker with a gunshot wound to his side.  He was bleeding.  He was drinking with his Clamster buddies, and they had asked if I wanted to play some football that weekend.  Since we were in a video game, I figured sure, why not.  While drinking a Natty Ice and smoking a cigarette, he asked how to defeat all the white men.  I looked at him, and wondered why he was drinking and smoking while bleeding on the rented floor.  I figured he had marital problems, he was in a slump and the locals must have been fucking with him.  I contemplated the question, and from the years of slavery and genocide, I didn’t really see a scenario that they would recede control of the area, America or stop their plans for world domination.  So I told him I don’t know.  It was a confounding question since his wife and his kids and his friends were white.

So his buddies were usually missing some teeth from some Oroville days.  I had known them for some time, so when playing football, I didn’t think much of it.  It did piss me off that they didn’t throw me the ball and kept me on defense.  I still disrupted most of the plays.  They just liked to throw interceptions.  They asked me if I wanted to be a bad guy in one of their movie projects that they were conjuring up.  Since I knew these guys had almost zero talent for movie making, I kindly agreed, if they did all the work.  They proposed some Star Trek and I proposed some Twilight Zone.  They proposed a Batman spin where the bad guys would be sitting at the table.  I figured I was Batman, so I’m not sure that would work out for me, unless I beat their face in at the end of the card game.  I guess my brother played the Joker.  

So I drove away, and then the game turned into Mad Max, Fury Road.  I guess Northern California wanted to keep the water, and Southern California didn’t like the country people and they wanted the water.  Everyone started throwing fire bombs at each other, it got crazy.  So the South paid off some ”official” people with the Damn money, and they shared the water with the weed growers and Mothers Milk.  All the gangs lived happily ever after, including the military and Hollywood, which we all know, are the most important gangs in California.  They eventually brought Donald Trump to rake and threw fake Rambo in military prison for trying to start a rebellion, which was actually a sting to begin with.  It was a complicated video game on story mode.  Most people just like to play on vs. Mode.  

I only rented the game, so I didn’t really play it, everyone I knew loved it and bought it.  I guess the marijuana dispensaries were selling it along with cookies.  I would rather spend my time watching Netflix and watch some Daredevil or Breaking Bad.  Those were some epic shows.  I used to just watch the Documentaries, but ever since I bought a subscription, I like the dramas.  It always begs the question, does art reflect real life, or does real life reflect art.  Sometimes I think to myself, when I notice the panic attack people have in the world around me, how could everyone not notice how much we believe other people to be better than us.  How much we fear other people to be better than us.  How groups of people feel threatened by others greatness, and that they don’t take the time to nurture their own greatness.  In a hysteria to feel loved and be seen in a crowded world, we try and find the flaws of the others around us to lift ourselves up.  Flowers fighting for sunlight.  Animals fighting for food and water.  Instead we are water and lightning.  We are the light.  

It makes me reminisce on the struggle of the waves crashing.  I find the breath I need in the moments between the struggle.  If I panic, I miss those moments while fighting against the ocean.  If I don’t panic, I am able to breath steadily and find the least resistance without drowning.  And if I live to tell the story, what else would a story need but you to tell it.  How many stories have saved your life?  How many stories gave you strength to carry on?  How many stories have let you share in the tragedies and triumphs of another?  Stories that made you laugh and cry, ones that you have learned from and ones that didn’t make sense till years later.  To play the video game in story mode or just in versus?  I personally like to write my own story.  

[electroma89]

the stars will align to make you answer all of those questions, fam

YOU’RE ALIVE, FAM!!!

aries: what are you passionate about?

social issues

taurus: name 3 of your favorite books.

1984, Drácula and Frankenstein

gemini: what was the last text you sent?

“you have to eat well” to my bf

cancer: if you could choose your child’s zodiac sign, what would it be?

aries or sagittarius ike me

leo: name something you love about yourself.

i’m really loving my hair rn

virgo: what’s your #1 pet peeve?

twirling my hair almost all the time

libra: describe your dream partner.

someone who i can trust, who can be my best friend and my partner in crime

scorpio: do you trust easily?

eh, not that much, depends of the person’s vibes i guess

sagittarius: if you could travel to any place in the world, where would it be?

let’s go to Japan together, fam

capricorn: what’s your dream job?

something creative and non-repetitive, or something where i can use the languages i’m learning

aquarius: do you believe in aliens?

i mean i don’t believe in, like, hollywood aliens with ray pistols and world domination and stuff, but i’m pretty sure there is life out there, maybe more advanced than us, maybe less

pisces: describe someone you love.

quiet, smart, always makes me laugh and knows what to say to cheer me up

sun: describe yourself in 3 words.

curious, impacient, loud

moon: what’s your favorite song?

recently i listen some of the remixes of Alice Glass’s EP and the remix of White Lies gives me life

rising/asc: how would you describe your style?

alice glass with eyebrows, hints of marilyn manson and 90′s ozzy, i would incorporate way more goth things in my style but now i look more like dark grunge or something like that xD

mars: are you easily angered?

depends of the topic, usually i try to be cool and listen, but if you start your “opinion” with “i’m not xenophobic but…” or “poor people are just lazy” or shit like that i mean i’ll be angry in 0.5 seconds

venus: what’s your aesthetic?

mercury: what color do you talk in?

is this question for people with synesthesia or something? xD (bc i can see a few notes, usually high notes), i think i speak in light colors

jupiter: what moral do you live by?

do no harm, take no shit

saturn: what’s your biggest fear?

being trapped in a routine till i die, no doing anything exciting and just surviving through workdays

uranus: are you rebellious?

my grandma says so, but she’s, like, the most mysogynistic and sexist person i know xD, if love myself and having opinions is being rebellious then i’m very proud of it

neptune: share one of your dreams.

dreams are like a map of your conscience, i dream pretty frequently with a wooden dock, surrounded by stores and huts, with a light blue sea with lots of foam

pluto: what’s the biggest thing you’ve learned by far in your life?

that you don’t need approval to be and do things that make you happy

lilith: do you have any guilty pleasures?

no, i enjoy all the things i love without guilt

chiron: have you ever broken a bone?

no, i hope to never break one also

ceres: are you a momfriend?

recently yes, so come here fam and i’ll feed the shit out of you and then let you use my bed if you feel sleepy

pallas: do you have a good relationship with your parents?

with my mom and grandpa i have the best relationship imo

juno: do you believe in soul mates?

no

1st house: are you confident?

yes, now i show my hairy arms and my bushy eyebrows and my black lips with pride

2nd house: if you could only keep one of your personal items, what would you choose?

my teddy bear Tomás

3rd house: do you like to read?

lately i’ve been too lazy (or depressed? who knows) to read a new book (or start drawing again, which i’ve wanted to do for a few weeks now), i enjoy it a lot, but i don’t have the energy rn

4th house: what does your bedroom look like?

light blue walls, big wooden closet, white breadspread and colorful pillows and 

a shitoad of posters, fam

5th house: name your favorite movie or show.

Howl’s Moving Castle, Black Mirror

6th house: do you participate in community service?

no, and i know i should

7th house: if you could choose, what zodiac sign would you like your dream partner to be?

my current partner is leo, and according to astrology leo-sagittariius is like a power couple so yeah

8th house: do you believe in reincarnation?

i’m not sure, someone once told me that we live our lives over and over again, so i think reincarnation is a better option tbh

9th house: what’s your favorite quote?

七転び八起き - japanese proverb (seven times fall-eight times rise)

10th house: are you good at public speaking?

not that much, i mean i do it bc i have to, not bc i want to

11th house: what sign(s) is your best friend/squad?

leo and aquarius

12th house: do you like to be alone?

yeah, i enjoy it, but not for very long periods

esta estuvo más difícil que otras veces, fam, no sé por qué. 

[ellie-bee242]

*snickers* can you answer 1-50?

You lil shit. Fine.

1: Golden mornings or peachy sunsets? Peachy sunsets.

2: Sugar cones or waffle cones? Sugar cones.

3: Do you wear scarves often? do you have a favorite? Not often but my favorite is this super soft scarf I’ve knit for myself.

4: How long do you lay in bed before you finally get up? As long as possible before I have to get up to put the dogs out.

5: Is there a food you’ve never had but always wanted to try? Uuuuhhhh I wanna possibly try curry but like I can’t handle any spice at all so idk.

6: What does your umbrella look like? it’s a water melon!

7: Do you listen to ASMR? nope, it’s not something I really enjoy.

8: Rain storms or a light drizzle? Rain storms. The more rain sounds the better (bonus if there’s thunder I loooooooove thunder)

9: What’s a little thing in life that you love? The cozy warmth of a good blanket on a chilly day.

10: Favorite color aesthetic? Dark to light gradient scales preferably in blue or purple.

11: Wobbly lines or using a ruler? Ruler, definitely. I’m very nit-picky and the wobbly lines drive me nuts.

12:  Bright colorful living room or neutral cozy living room? cozy neutrals living room, lively kitchen colors, and a muted bedroom with a splash of color.

13: Do you have any candles? what scents are they? Yes I have candles and oh god please don’t make me name all of them. I have Berrylicious, Strawberry Lemon Ice, April Showers, Catching Rays, Lemon Lavender, and Berry Trifle from Yankee Candle. Those aren’t even half of the candles I own though, lol. 

14: Have you ever rode a horse? No, I wish!

15: Do you have glasses? Yes I do. Need them to drive and everything.

16: What’s a language you’d like to speak? Italian or French.

17: What’s your favorite season and favorite month in that season? Stereotypical girl answer but I love Fall. And October is my favorite month within the season because there’s this cool, cozy, yet spooky vibe all month long in preparation for Halloween.

18: Do you have a favorite pair of socks? Any fuzzy socks ever.

19: Favorite Ghibli and/or disney movie? Favorite Studio Ghibli movie is, hands down, Howl’s Moving Castle (spirited away can fuck off I hate it), and my favorite Disney movie is Tangled.

20: Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar? Fuck you, all three.

21: What snacks do you usually get at the theater? Milk Duds. I hate popcorn and will only eat it if I can’t have anything else. But since I’m a girl I usually buy a lot of candy at Wal-Mart in prep and stash it in my movie purse.

22: What’s an underrated video game/ movie/ show you love and think it needs more recognition? Atlantis for sure. It’s such a fantastic movie, go check it out!

23: Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb? Hell yes! I love plants and flowers, but I have such a forgetful brain that I never remember to water them :(

24; All plants are great but do you have a favorite? Honeysuckle is cool.

25: Do you have a favorite type of art style? (eg: soft looking, no to little color, sketches, crisp and clean, minimalist, pixel art etc.) I love the look of sketch type art. Normally I’m a neat freak but I want the art work I see to be wild and messy, it just makes it look like the artist was so passionate about the work that they were in a hurry to get it onto their canvas/preferred media layout and they didn’t think about going back to clean it up. It looks more fresh and raw, I don’t really like polished work that someone spent years meticulously painting. I like things that look more like “I had this idea and I wanted to share it with everyone as soon as possible!”

26: What would you do if someone gave you flowers? Wonder if they thought I was sick or if they thought I was dying. I never receive flowers unless I’ve been sick lmao.

27: Do you like nicknames? Sure do, baby-boo. Especially since my own name is so looooooong.

28: Do you still watch shows you watched when you were a kid? even from time to time? Um….. Yes. Legends of Korra, Avatar the Last Airbender, Danny Phantom, these shows sculpted my formative years! (it’s probably why I turned into such a sarcastic sassy bitch lmfao)

29: Do you still like old memes? (tell the truth) From time to time sure. I kinda miss the rage comics type stuff because those were a Reaction Image gold mine.

30: Favorite Halloween costume you dressed up as? (if you don’t celebrate halloween have you ever cosplayed or would you like to? who did you cosplay as?) Uuuuum. I dressed up as a bee one year and I think that was the best because the school I was going to let you wear costumes to school so I did and I sang “I’mma bee” (the black eyed peas song) in the halls throughout the day. 

31:  Are you a fashionable person? I like to think so. My mom comes to me and asks what she should wear with what from time to time.

32: Do you like watching holiday movies? Yeeeeeeesssssssssss. I love watching White Christmas and Polar Express around Christmas time.

33:  Cookies or brownies? OOOOOOOooooooooo. Hard choice. Brownies though.

34: Do you blow in the cold air just to see your breath? When I was a kid I used to pretend i was smoking imaginary cigarettes. (the answer is yes, I love it)

35: Do you find the crickets chirping outside your window relaxing? Sure, as long as they stay OUTSIDE my window. If they come inside they’re getting a fucking heavy as boot smashed on them. (I hate hoppy bugs)

36: Do you like cobblestone streets? Yup! They’re just so classic and pretty looking.

37:  How often do you doodle? Not very often just because I never have paper readily available. I’m more of a daydreamer rather than a doodler.

38: When was the last time you blew bubbles? July. I found cherry scented bubbles at the dollar store near my house and I blew them at my dogs outside.

39: What’s your favorite random piece of decor in your house and room? I made a hexagonal box in Pottery class my sophomore year and I love that thing I’m still super proud of it.

40: Do you bite your fingernails off or clip them more often? I bite my nails if I’m not using acrylics(fake nails).

41: Any birthmarks? Yessir, I’ve got a little dark spot on the top of my right thigh and a mole under my right breast that I’ve had since I was born.

42: Thoughts on freckles? I have them so they’re awesome!

43: First video game you ever played? Uuuuh……….. My brother and sister bo-garded all the video games from me growing up but I remember one time they were both sick so I got to finally play that Duck Hunt game and I was actually pretty good at it.

44: what type of bird do you hear most often outside your door? Robins I think? Maybe blue jays.

45: Do you use gifs/ memes a lot when replying to people? I try to put a gif at the end of every ask I answer :)

46: Thoughts on spring? Too fucking cold, bring fall back it was prettier.

47: Ideal temperature outside? Mid to high 70s and cloudy.

48: Cloudy, partly cloudy, or clear skies? CLOUDS CLOUDS CLOUDS AND MORE CLOUDS. (I haaaaaaate the sun it’s way to bright, hurts my eyes, and gives me migraines)

49: How often do you hear airplanes outside? Not all that often. Nothing really flies over the town I live in.

50: Do you enjoy windy days? I’m a girl who enjoys lipgloss and my hair down. You decide. (the answer is a big fat fuck no)

Thanks for sending me every single question buddy ♥ Thanks to you, no one else can bother me now. Appreciate it. ♥

*goes to find another ask meme so people will talk to her*