#think all the time about how much work steifvater put into his character

[sunbratz]

maybe its bc i am a villain lover but i will never forgive people for shaming ppl who like villains so hard that it causes the entire conversations around those villains outside of fiction to be toxic to the point that it completely kills the character

[itsthegameilike]

Best of 2019 Reads

I didn’t get to read quite as much this year as I usually do, but I wanted to collect my favorites, anyway, because books always deserve more love. The most love. Without further ado...

Call Down the Hawk--Maggie Steifvater (lgbt) While this book works best if you’ve read The Raven Cycle, I do feel as though it stands alone and separate from the series. It’s magical and intense and profound and it was one of the few books this year that I absolutely devoured. The new characters are fabulous, especially Jordan, and Declan absolutely shines. If you read The Raven Cycle and weren’t sure about this one, it’s worth reading just for Declan. The stakes are high, the dreams are marvelous, and the ending leaves you ready for more.

On Earth, We’re Briefly Gorgeous--Ocean Vuong (lgbt)  I first discovered Ocean in one of my poetry writing classes in college and I never looked back. The way Ocean sees the world is spectacular. The lowest lows are part of his life experience and he transforms them into sublime beauty. His first novel is no different. While largely plotless, more vignettes than anything else, it transformed how I thought of the world for weeks. And there are more than a few passages I’ll never forget. 

The Starless Sea--Erin Morgenstern (lgbt) Like everyone, I could go on and on about The Night Circus, her first novel, and like, I expect, everyone else, I can say with confidence that this book didn’t disappoint. There’s underground libraries, time travel, whimsical romance, an ocean of honey, and secret societies. If I could dream up the perfect novel, more than half of the tropes included in this novel would be in it. It does what the best fantasy does; actually transports you from your living room to a different world, just for a little while.

Small Gods--Terry Pratchett  The first of my recs that wasn’t released this year. I read lots of Terry Pratchett this year but this was by far my favorite. There’s nothing quite like a god who’s been transformed into a turtle and only remembers he’s a god because of the belief of one simple-minded but kind person. Organized religion is examined with care and as with all Pratchett novels, hilariously. The novel finished and I felt like I’d learned more about life than I’d learned in six months of actually living.

A Winter’s Promise--Christelle Dabos This novel is complex and the worldbuilding is extensive and complicated, but the rewards of paying attention and being committed are high. The characters are spectacular, though it takes some time to reveal their many motivations, and the world is even more so. The side characters also shine as every single written character has a decided motive. I devoured this one as well and the second in the series is even better. I would argue if you don’t like the first one, you should still try the second, that’s how good it is. All of the work of the first novel pays off in the second.

On A Sunbeam--Tillie Walden (lgbt) A lengthy graphic novel set in space with some excellent queer representation. It’s been awhile since I enjoyed this one, but I read it in one sitting. The drawings were beautiful and the colors were perfect for the tone of the story and writing. The love story between the two main girls is sweet and soft and heartwrenching and it was perfect to be wrapped up in their world for a little while. This book is like briefly being trapped in a snowglobe.

Spinning Silver--Naomi Novik I enjoyed Uprooted more than I enjoyed this particular fairytale retelling, but it was still worth a read. The main character is resourceful and interesting, the way she goes about navigating world and finding love not quite the path you would’ve expected in the beginning. The world is lush and well developed and the court of the fey is one of my favorite locations in a fantasy novel in awhile. What really sells this book is the ending. The middle can be slow, but it was worth it for the way all the threads come together.

Nevernight--Jay Kristoff I could talk about this novel for-fucking-ever. There are footnotes that can be extremely informative and are often laugh out loud funny. The violence and the language and the jokes can often be crude, but there is so much joy written into them that it hardly matters. The twists and turns of the plot are amazing and there was even one or two I didn’t predict. Mia is such a badass and her quest for revenge is the kind of quest I love to see female characters involved. She gets a storyline few women get, especially in fantasy. Godsgrave, the second novel, is also incredible and puts Mia in an awesome queer relationship. The last novel, Darkdawn, came out this year and was actually a bit of a disappointment, but the series overall is still one of my favorite.

Devotions--Mary Oliver Everyone knows Mary Oliver and I’m not going to pretend this recommendation is revelatory in any way, but this collection got me through some of my hardest days. It’s best read a poem at a day with a good five minute think afterward. You’ll start seeing the world in a different and more hopeful way. Nature has lots to teach you, kids, and so does Mary Oliver.

The Trials of Apollo--Rick Riordan (lgbt) This is a whole series and the fourth one came out this year and if you haven’t read any Rick Riordan this probably isn’t the place to start. But if you’ve read some of him and haven’t yet checked out this series it’s a must. It’s more adult than any of his other ones and the stakes feel so high, that when I started reading the fourth one this year, I could barely do it, I was so nervous. They’re hilarious, as can be expected by Riordan, but they’re also profound. There are a couple of emotional moments that I still get lost in while lying in bed at night and Apollo’s character arc is one of the most rewarding in recent memory.

Red, White, and Royal Blue--Casey McQuiston (lgbt) A favorite of the year on tumblr, I think, and definitely worth all of the hype. I read this in one sitting. It was quick and easy and joyful, definitely an alternate universe that I would prefer we were currently living in. Alex and Henry are both delightful and their romance is poignant, something that gave me comfort as a queer woman. If you need a little light in your life, start here.

Little Fish--Casey Plett (lgbt) One of the hardest books I read this year. It’s an intense look into the life of a trans woman and her friends, most of whom are also trans. And when I say intense, I mean intense. It often hurts. But I loved it for the way the author portrayed her main character. There was so much love and sympathy there. Nothing was held back. It was very clear that this book was the heart of this author. It meant everything to them.

Snow & Rose--Emily Winfield Martin A children’s fairytale that world builds so good that none of the rest of the book even matters. The rest is also good, but I could’ve gotten lost into the world forever. As with all fables, it ends with lessons learned and they’re important and earned lessons. It’s been awhile since I’ve read it, but I remember it being spectacular and well worth my time.

Peter Darling--Austin Chant (lgbt) Not the most well-written on this list, but it is a hopeful read. And the most adorable. This book is entirely for the queer representation, but it is very good representation. It also is a retelling of Peter Pan, which is good fun. It’s short and quick and I finished with a huge smile on my face.

[treebananas]

Tale As Old As Time

Whoo y'all this fic took a lot out of me, but it is definitely one of my favorites that I've ever written.

Disclaimer: I do not own Maggie Steifvaters characters nor do I own any of the beauty and the beast plot. I've used lyrics from the songs, lines from the script, and a description for the beast, but they are not mine, they are the beauty and the beast production teams.

Summary: beauty and the beast au where Adam is belle, Ronan is the beast, blue is Maurice, and tad is gaston. Pynch week day 2: musical au Adam/Belle POV

Word count: 5507

Adam Parrish and Blue Sargent lived together in a small village in the town of Henrietta, Virginia. The two are the closest thing to family that they have. Blue had family, but left to pursue her own life. They worked together perfectly because they had a mutual interest in making things. Blue made clothes while Adam made inventions. The provincial village disliked the two of them and called them funny. Adam guessed they were. The village people and Adam and Blue had different views on living in general. They didn't like how Blue spoke her mind and wasn't as clean cut as the rest of the women. Blue wasn't a slave to her husband and she loved being single. Adam on the other hand needed to be more demanding in the people's eye. He has to be with Blue in a romantic relationship because living together without any relationship was sinful. Adam and Blue liked their situation because it suited them. Adam would never complain about the hateful town. It was heaven compared to his old life. The village people couldn't see that. They were uptight and rigid and their opinions couldn't be swayed, but the rent was cheap.

Adam started another long day by going into the crowded marketplace for the morning chores, but Adam had an early morning and Blue was working on a design for a fashion fair. The marketplace wasn't as bad this morning as it usually was. He could deal with the whispers and gossip that floods the streets as long as he could get his hands on his favorite book, Alice in Wonderland. Something about the book gives him the sense of childhood he had ruined for him.

Adam returned back to the cottage in about two hours with clean clothes, food for two days, and his favorite book.

He called out, “Blue, I'm home!”

He heard a returning, “I'm in the workshop. I need your help.” and ran to the room.

The workshop was the biggest and most important room in the house besides the room that Blue and Adam share for a bedroom. It's as colorful on Blues side as it is gray and monochrome on Adams side. It's full of the most useful invention and stylish clothing; it's also filled with impractical shit and hideous choices of colors. Blue and Adam worked side by side in this space creating the most marvelous goods. They would trade comments, test products, and listen to music through one of Adam's inventions as they worked.

Adam moved over to Blue’s colorful work table to see what she was working on. Blue was using one of Adams most effective inventions. It was a machine that did the sewing for Blue, so all she had to do was put fabric in and she could manipulate it to her desire.

“This ducking machine stopped working.” She barked.

Adam sorted and put the white thread in the right place and turned the wheel slightly. The foot moved briskly up and down placing the stitches in the right place.

She mumbled, “thank you,” and got back to work.

The clothing piece was turning out stunning; the colors were meshing together perfectly and made the piece tell a story.

Adam was brought out of his reverie by a knock on the front door. He jumped back and went to see who would interacts with ‘the crazies.’ At the door was Tad Carruthers, the town's most handsome bachelor, who had his eyes on Adam since Adam came into this village. Adam rolled his eyes secretly, but he let Tad in. Adam stood in the doorway, so Tad couldn't walk into the cottage.

He mustered the biggest, most fake smile and said, “Tad, what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Isn't it though.” Tad boasted. “Such a pleasure.”

Adam held back the scowl making its way onto his face and instead insisted, “It's always nice to have some conversation, but if it's not important, I have to get back to my inventions-”

“What are your thoughts on marriage?” Tad blurted.

Adam knew where this was going, but his eyes still bulged, “Marriage?”

“Yes, a handsome guy like yourself must have had thoughts about it. You are always thinking.”

“I can't say I've thought too much. All I have to say about it is that it will be at the right time and with the right person.”

“You're young, I'm young. What's a more perfect time?”

“Is this your way of asking me to marry you?”

So you are as dense as the village people say you are. Yes, Adam, I'm asking you to marry me.”

“Tad, I..I just don't deserve you.”

“The only other person that deserves me is me. You're a close second.”

“I'm sorry, I just can't.” Adam said, pushing Tad out the door.

When Adam told Blue this, she cried laughing.

“Could you imagine? He asked me to marry him. Me! The husband of that boorish, brainless…”

“Mister Carruthers!” Adam picked up a piece of some fabric laying around and draped it over his head. “Can't you just see it?!”

“Mister Carruthers!” He picked up a piece of scrap metal and pretend-shot it like a bow, “His other half!”

“No, Blue! Not me ! I guarantee it! I want much more than this bigoted life!”

He sighed, “I just want a different life than the village people, including Tad have planned.”

Blue exhaled and nodded, “Once I go to this fair, I'll be picked up by a fashion company and we can finally move to a better place with no snobs or fucking Tads. We can just..be.”

@    @   @

Blue left the next morning with her designs and a cart made of entirely Adams creation. It had everything Blue needed.

“It's just a few days,” Blue said as they hugged. “I'll be back before you know it.”

That was five days ago. Needless to say, Adam was worried. Sometimes Blue would stay a couple extra days if she liked the town or city, but they had an agreement to not stay five or more days. Adam decided to get out of the house and distract his mind from his anxious thoughts.

In the distance, he heard a horse whinnying. His eyes caught Gwenllian, Blue and Adams horse. Blue took Gwen to her fair and had Gwen pull the cart. Gwen wasn't connected to the cart or the harness appeared to be broken. She was waking up the entire village with how loud she was.

“Woah, girl calm down.” Adam tried to comfort, “Is Blue alright?”

At the sound of Blues name, Gwen cried out. Fear crept upon Adam.

Quickly, he said, “Alright, take me to her.”

He mounted Gwen and she took off galloping. She brought him last the village walls and into the deep forests that surround the town. She ran Blue normal path out of the woods until she turned a smaller, unknown path which took them deeper into the woods. Adam swore he could hear wolves howling in the distance. Through the woods, was a clearing. A huge, gray building was peering through the leaves. As they approached the building, Adam saw the turrets and grand steps. Not a regular building. Around the clearing all the trees and shrubbery was brittle and dry. Any architect would gape at the angles and smooth edges; Adam could draw it everyday and still find some new part of the exterior. Adams has dropped as Gwen continued to the castle.

“Wait here.” Adam told Gwen as he walked up to the unnerving castle steps.

He walked through the large door and called out, “Blue!”

He heard whispering around the main floor. Then, he heard coughing coming from a wing of the castle.

“Blue!” He screamed as he grabbed a neat candelabra and raced to the noise.

When he finally saw Blue, he saw the jail cell and threw himself down to meet her face.

She looked at him with a confused look on her face, “Adam?”

“Blue, I'm here. I'll get you out.”

“No, Adam. You have to get out of here and go home; forget about me. Quick, before he sees you!”

“Who sees me?”

A gruff voice called out, “What are you doing here?!”

A growl came from Adam's front left where he suspected the thing was lurking.”

“Let my friend go!” Adam demanded.

“Then who would pay her crimes?” The creature growled, “unless you would want to take her place.”

Silence came as Adam thought. “Come into the light.” He instructed.

Thee thing scoffed, but did as it was told. When the creature was illuminated, Adam saw the most hideous mix of a lion, buffalo, gorilla, boar, wolf, and beat. Adam flinched back, closing his eyes and reopening.

Adam mustered up his courage and clearly said. “Yes.”

Beside him, Blue cried, “Adam, no!”

“It is done.” The beast told, as he threw Adam in the cell and grabbed Blue.

“Don't hurt her!” He exclaimed, but it was no use.

He looked around at the cell walls and bars. This is where he would live forever. In his mind, Adam knew he should be rethinking his decisions, but he couldn't find one regret. Adam just hoped that there was a least a tiny bit of humanity in the talking creature that he would give Adam food. Unfortunately, it was fruitless to hope. These four walls were Adams future.

@   @   @

Adam woke up to sounds of creaky doors. This wasn't a dream. Adam thought to himself. He followed the sounds he heard and saw an open door, but no human to open it.

“Down here!”

Adam looked down to see the candelabra he picked up last night and a clock. He jumped back and screamed. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

“What the fuck?” He muttered.

“Name’s Henry, this is Noah. We're here to show you to your room.”

“Ronan's not gonna like this.”

“How is this possible?”

“A heartbroken warlock.”

“We can't tell you more.”

“My room?”

“Did you really think we weren't going to give you a room?”

“No?”

“Ronan might not like it, but we’ll just sick Gansey on him.”

Henry and Noah showed him to the east wing of the castle. They told him it was Adam’s bedroom. His bedroom was a beautiful room that could fit five of Blue and Adams workshops. The decor was simple, a desk, wardrobe, and huge bed. It was a room fit for a duke.

“While you're here.” Noah spoke. “Know that some objects are cursed people, the wardrobe including.” And with that they left.

Curious to what Noah was saying, Adam sauntered over to the wardrobe. It was fancy and delicate plastered with the mint green theme of the room. Hesitantly, Adam knocked on its wooden doors. It sprung to life. One half seemed to shine like a sunshine. The other side stayed prim and proper.

A teenage boys voice filtered through one of the doors, “A human? Finally, it's been getting lonely.”

A silky smooth voice like the beasts carried through the other half, “Really? I'm having trouble believing that you're lonely when we share a wardrobe and have for gen years.”

“Shut up, Declan.”

“Matthew where are you're manners?”

“Up my wooden ass.”

“Matthew!”

“It's so nice to see something that has actual skin.”

Adam cleared his throat, “Well, that Beast is holding me prisoner forever, so you'll see me a lot.”

“I swear to g-d when I'm human again. I'll be the first to punch him.”

“Declan! Get in line.”

Adam cleared his throat again, “I have to ask, why are y'all cursed?”

“We can't tell you. Only Ronan can.”

“I'm Declan, the oldest brother and heir to the throne. My other half is Matthew, the youngest child and literal sun. Ronan, as you call the Beast, is the middle child.”

“Trust me, Ronan is just easily angered. He’all calm down.”

As in cue, loud banging shook Adams room. The beasts loud voice followed, “Get the fuck downstairs for dinner.”

Adam called out a response, “I'm not hungry.”

A moment of silence, then a sign, “will you come down for dinner?”

“No”

“I...would...love if you could...come down for dinner...please.”

“No, thank you.”

“Fine, then go hungry for all I care. If he doesn't eat with me, he doesn't eat at all.”

@   @  @

Moments later silent tears still ran down Adams face. Part of him wished to run after the beast and beg for forgiveness and maybe that way, the beast might take mercy and let her go. He knew he couldn't think about life back home with Blue, but his mind wandered. How was Blue? Was she thinking of him? Did she miss him as much as he miss her? He also thought to what Blue would do in his situation. The answer was quite clear. He had to find something good in this tragic place even if his home, his heart was too far away. He would also have to build walls around himself. He could do this for Blue as long as she was home and free.

A knock at his door startled him. In strolled a teapot and teacup on a cart.

The teapot spoke with a politicians voice, “Would you like a cup of tea?”

Adam smiled, “That would be lovely.”

The teapot poured itself into the teacup. Adam lifted the teacup to his face and took a sip. The tea warmed all the way to his heart and chest. On its way down, Adam heard an inhumane noise erupt out of the teacup. He looked closely and saw a face adorned on the teacup.

“That was such a brace thing you did for your friend.” The teapot admitted. “We all think so.”

“I like you! I'm Opal!” The teacup screeched.

The teapot and Adam laughed. “I'm Gansey.”

“And I'm Adam.”

“Say Adam how would you like some dinner?”

“But what about ‘if he doesn't eat with me, she doesn't eat at all.’”

Ganseys look said it all. The three headed downstairs awaiting the dinner.

@.  @.  @.

Adam walked down the grand stairs with Gansey and Opal by his side. They led him into a ginormous dining room where the chair pulled out and tucked Adam in by itself. On the table was Henry and Noah.

Henry spoke, “Ah Adam! What an honor it is for you to join us this evening. Now watch as the dining room proudly presents your dinner! Please dig in. Be our guest!”

Dinner was a long affair. Music filtered out of the piano in the corner and Henry and Noah did a dance routine that was wonderfully choreographed. Every so often, Noah would remind them to quiet down, so Rona didn't hear. The occupants made an amazing meal with a mysterious gray stuff that melted in Adams mouth. The food made Adam sleepy and full. Adam mentioned to Gansey that he wanted a tour of the castle before bed. Noah called off dinner immediately and went to join the group for the tour. Henry put on his best tour guide voice and showed Adam the library and lower parts of the castle.

When the reached a certain room, Gansey took over and asked, “Say Adam, what do you know about Welsh Kings?”

@.  @.  @.

At some point during the tour, the objects made intense eye contact, but did not mention the huge staircase leading up to the wing. Adam asked about the bathrooms and when he saw the objects turn, he ran.

The wing was dark gloomy. It was covered in cobwebs, ripped clothing, and claw marks. There were pictures along the walls, but only one Adam could make out what the picture depicted. It was a man and women with three children all in royal outfits and huge smiles. The man and two oldest children had black slicked back hair and features that could cut glass. The women and youngest child had unruly, but flowing blonde curls and soft faces. The whole family shared striking, clear blue eyes that matched the beasts eyes. Over the middle childs face were long, deep, slash marks.

Adam moved to the center of the room where the moonlight hit a pedestal that held a mirror and glass case. In the mirror, Adam saw his face clear as day. He saw something move, but nothing was there. In the glass case was a raven with the feathers falling off. At the bottom were several of the black feathers. He saw that the raven did not have many feathers left.

The Beast appeared suddenly and screamed at Adam, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU COULD OF DONE?! YOU COULD OF DAMNED US ALL!! LEAVE, GET OUT!!”

The beast lunged at Adam, then observed the glass case. Adam screamed and ran. He high failed out of the west wing and bolted down the stairs to the door ignoring the screams from Gansey, Henry, and Noah.

He ran out of the haunted castle and rode Gwen into the thick woods. He was surrounded by trees and the pitch blackness of night. He didn't get very far when he stopped and heard the howling of the wolves. Their growls came from every direction and he knew he was screwed. He grabbed a stick as a weapon just as the first wolf attacked. He fought them as best he could, but he was outnumbered. He heard a deeper, more threatening growl and his first thought was shit more of them, but Adam was wrong. It was not more wolves, for it was the Beast coming to Adams rescue. There was the Beast, there was Ronan coming to protect Adam. Adam tried to help, but Ronan's growl at him told him to stay away. He took on several at once, throwing them away as if they were nothing. He finished 15 with ease, but the next wolf got a cheap shot at Ronan. He yelled out before finishing the rest of the wolves. Adam and him stared at each other over the piles of unconscious wolves. Adam was about to say something before Ronan's eyes became half lidded and he collapsed. Adam glanced at Gwen, then back at Ronan. He looked so vulnerable laying there in the cold snow. His wound was bleeding and he would die if Adam left him without help.

He crouched by Ronan's side and whispered, “I need your help. I need you to stand.”

Ronan shakingly obeyed and together they got Ronan on Gwen's back.

Together they would make it back to the castle.

@. @. @.

“Ow!”

“Stop fucking moving!”

“You're hurting me!”

“Well, I'm sorry, tough guy, but suck it up. And stop moving!”

Ronan pouts but hands his arm back to Adam. Adam looks at him, but applies water to his cuts anyways.

Ronan hisses and snatches his arm away, “This never would've happened if you hadn't run away.”

“I never would have run away if you hadn't of frightened me.” Adam said back.

“Well, you shouldn't have been in the west wing.”

“Well, you should learn to control your temper.”

Ronan humpfed  and turned over, showing Adam has wounded back. Adam got more water to clean them, but decided against it. He rings out the water and stands.

“I think we should all get some rest. See you tomorrow.”

Adam is almost out the door before he hears Ronan calling him.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Adam smiles, nods, and walks back to his room.

@. @. @.

Days turned to months and Adam was still a prisoner at the castle. The days at the castle weren't as bad as to be expected. Ever since the wolf attack, Ronan hadn't been as hostile towards Adam. He could keep a conversation with Adam and they spent most meals together. Ronan was acting slightly more human like everyday. He would sit on chairs like a person and he and Adam made a compromise to sip from the bowl instead of attacking it or eating with a spoon. Adam would sometimes bring books from the library and read them during dinner.

Adam was delighted when he found Alice in Wonderland in the shelves. He brought it to the table and when Gansey came over to talk to Ronan, he pulled it out. He started reading from the beginning.

Ronan saw what Adam was reading and dropped his cup on the ground. Gansey ran to get someone to clean up the spill.

Adam asked, “Have you read this book before?”

“Alice was beginning to get very tired from sitting by the bank with her sister, and having nothing to do: once or twice she peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations on it…” Ronan recited.

Adams mouth gaped open. “You know it by heart?”

Ronan nodded, “It was my father's favorite. I used to go into your room and read it to Matthew and Declan because they couldn't read it anymore.”

And that was it.

One night, Adam came downstairs in some garments Matthew and Declan forced him in to find Ronan waiting at the bottom of the steps talking to Henry, Noah, and Gansey, but stopped at Adams arrival.

Henry whispered something to Ronan which he replied, “it's red?”

Henry and Noah groaned and Henry whispered something else in his ear. Ronan's eyes widened before nodding.

Ronan stepped closer to Adam, “Parrish you look...um...good. Nice red suit.”

Adam laughed, “Thank you, Lynch.”

The two lad shared more personal details together such as last names, but why the castle was cursed, Adam did not know.

Ronan cleared his throat, “Come on, Parrish, there's something I wanted to show you.”

They walked for fifteen minutes down an area of the castle Adam hadn't seen before which was surprising because exploring the castle had been Adam's new found hobby. The hallways looked like the rest of the hallways did, gray and slightly creepy. They turned into a room and Adam let out a gasp. It was an engineering workshop that put Adam and Blue workshop to shame. In the far corner, were engineering books and on the other wall were so many tools that Adam hadn't even heard of some of them.

“My father used to hire inventors to make sure the castle had the latest technology. No one ever uses it anymore, so it's yours.” Ronan broke the silence.

“Mine?” Ronan nodded, “you rarely talk about your parents. Are they some object I've never met before?”

Ronan's face dropped. “No...they died before the curse happened.”

Adam pulled out some of the chairs from the workshops tables, “Im so sorry. I never asked you, how did the curse happen?”

Ronan sat down and his shoulders dropped, “it was my fault. After my parents died, I was depressed. I shaved my hair, obtained some new scars on my wrists, fought with Declan. I was a mess. The only people who could me from not ending my life were Gansey, Matthew, Noah, and Henry, but I started talking to a commoner from another kingdom. His name was Joseph Kavinsky. We would meet up street race, drink, and would sometimes fuck. I thought it was no strings attached, but he didn't. He-he fell in love with me and I told him I didn't love him and that he was just a coping mechanism. I never knew he was a warlock. He told me he would place a curse on my castle and all who lived inside it, so I would be as heartbroken as I made him. If I find who loves me and actually loves me, then the curse would be broken. If I don't find someone who by the time the last feather falls from the raven, then everyone I love turns to antiques and I remain a beast.”

Adam was left breathless, “So that's why you got so mad at me when I was in the west wing. Ronan...I'm so sorry.”

Ronan clicked his tongue. “Nothing for you to be sorry over. It's not your fault.”

“It's not your fault either.”

“Parrish.”

“I mean unrequited love sucks, but that's no reason to curse an entire castle.”

Ronan smiled a real and genuine smile unlike his usually smirks that Adam had gotten used to. A moment passed between them where they just stared at each other smiling.

“Wanna make use of the ballroom tonight?” Ronan asked.

“Like dancing?” Adam questioned.

“You can say no.”

Adam thought for a moment. “Id like that.”

@. @. @.

The castle was filled with a sweet presence that came with a ballroom dance. Everyone was excited for the twos dance.

Matthew and Declan dressed Adam in the most amazing silk suit. Blue would have appreciated the yellow color. He felt confident in the form-fitting garment.

He felt flutters when he walked down the steps leading to the first floor. His breath stopped as he saw Ronan on the opposite set of stairs. Ronan's outfit fit him snug and he looked lost until his eyes met Adams. They walked down the steps maintaining eye contact. Ronan outstretched his arm and met Adams.

Music led them to the royal bedroom where Gansey, Noah, and Henry were waiting for them.

Ronan drew Adam into his arms as Gansey started singing. His voice was a little shaky from misuse, but accompanied the dance perfectly.

Ronan certainly knew how to dance from his royal days, but was surprised to learn Adam knew how to dance as well. They moved together in perfect rhythm.

There were stepped on feet and apologetic glances, but overall the night went perfect. The two moved to the balcony to get some air as Henry and his lover Jiang took to the floor and danced the night away.

Ronan let out a breath, “I haven't danced like that in years.”

Adam laughed. “Me either. When Blue and I first moved in together, she thought it was outrageous that I never learned to dance, so she taught me.”

“Do you miss her, Blue?” Ronan asked.

“More than anything. She was my first friend before all this happened.”

Ronan was silent for a moment before continuing, “There is a way to see her.”

“There is?”

“Yeah.” Ronan pulled out the plain mirror and handed it to Adam.

“Show me Blue.”

The mirrors glass shimmered away to show Blue being shoved into a black carriage, the villagers surrounding her with fire, Tad at front.

“Oh my g-d!” Adam shrieked. “Blue in trouble.”

Ronan took a deep breath in, “then you should go to her.”

“I should?”

“She needs help.”

“But what about…”

“You're not a prisoner here, Adam. You haven't been in a long time.”

“But…”

“But nothing. Go.”

Adam reached to give the mirror back. “No. Take it with you so you'll always have a way to look back and remember me.”

Tears welled up in Adams eyes, “I could never forget you.” He leaned forward and kissed Ronan on the cheek, “I'm coming Blue, don't worry.”

@. @. @.  

Adam heard Tads booming voice as soon as Adam entered the village. He seemed to be ruling the people up with his harsh words and thunderous voice. The people were following him blindly.

“Tad!” Adam screamed.

Tad let out a giddy smile at Adam arrival. It quickly turned mischievous in a split second, “Adam! It's so good to see you. I'm so sorry to hear about Blue.”

Adam furrowed his brows, “what about Blue?”

Tad put on a mask of remorse. “Blue went off the rails. You weren't here, so I took care of it. She'll be staying in a nice room at Monsieur Blacks asylum.”

“Blue isn't crazy; she's one of the most sane person I know.” Adam scoffed.

Tad whimpered in pity for Adam; the crowd followed. “But she is. She kept raving on and on about a beast.”

“But there is a beast.”

Tad sighed, “not you too.”

“And I can prove it.” Adam held up the mirror. “Show me the beast.”

Ronan's image flickered on the glass. When Adam showed Ronan, the village people gasped in fear.

“Is he dangerous?” One village person shrieked.

Adam replied almost immediately, “No he's very sensitive and gentle once you get to know him.”

Tad looked scandalized. “If I didn't know better, I'd say you have feelings for him.”

“You don't know me well enough to say that truthfully.” Adam retorted.

Tad sneered, “I may not, but I know monsters like that.” He turned to the crowd. “He’ll make off with your children, he’ll come after them in the night. I say we kill the beast.”

The crowd screamed approval while Adam screamed no.

Tad raised his hands up. “It's time to follow me.”

The village people grabbed torches and anything they could use as weapons. Some said prayers before they all took off towards the dark castle.

As soon as the last village was out of sight, Adam ran towards Blue who they forgotten about in the chaos. He threw his arms around her.

“Blue, I have to go warn Ronan.”

“Not without me you won't.”

@. @. @.

They arrived in the middle of the battle, objects vs people. Blue told him that she was going to help the castle and that he should go find the beast. He ran to the west wing as fast as he could in his yellow suit, dodging thrown plates, shovels, and miscellaneous objects. Adams heart was vibrating. What if he was too late?

He made it in time to see Tad leaning over Ronan, dagger in hand. Whatever he was saying to Ronan seemed to be the most painful thing Ronan ever heard. He looked like he was surrendering to Tads knife.

“Ronan!” Adam yelled.

Ronan opened his eyes. “Adam?”

Tad smiled murderously. “Adam! Just in time to see your lovely beast die.”

Ronan and Adam reached for each other as Tad plunged his knife into Ronan's chest.

“No!” Adam sobbed.

Tad took a step to the edge of the balcony to shadow over Ronan. Adam ran, knees buckling, and pulled Ronan's head into his lap.

Tad laughed, throwing his head back, “this is your fault Adam. If you had just married me, your precious Ronan would still be alive. Isn't it just a shame when things don't go exactly as planned?”

Tad laughed and laughed. He was laughing so much he didn't realize his feet went over the edge. Tad roared as he fell his death.

The two, finally left in privacy, stared at each other, tears running down Adams face. Ronan moved his paw to brush away the tears.

“You came back.” Ronan breathed.

“I wished I never left you.” Adam confessed.

“Maybe it's better this way.”

“Stop talking. Conserve your energy.”

“At least I got to see you one last time. Adam I…”

“Ronan? Ronan?”

Adam sobbed into Ronan matted fur.

“Ronan! Don't leave me! You're my home! I...I Love you!”

The castle grew eerily silent. Adam didn't see the last feather fall from the raven from his place in Ronan's chest.

He did see when a bright light washed over Ronan's body. It grew so bright that Adam had to look away. When he opened his eyes, he was met with a man dressed in a loose white dress shirt back tattoos and muscles visible. The man stared at his arms and sobbed with relief. He turned around and Adam could see his entire body. Adam lost his breath. He was by far the most gorgeous man Adam had ever seen, but where had he come from and where was Ronan?

He stepped closer to Adam and Adams stomach dropped. “Adam, look into my eyes.”

Adam did and was met with the most clear water blue. They were so bright, the punched a hole right through Adams guy just like…

“Ronan?” Adam gasped.

Ronan nodded and smiled so bright Adam had to smile back. Adam placed his hands on Ronan's snatched cheeks and looked into his eyes in awe. Tears sprang into his eyes for the third time that night, but this time Ronan cried with him.

Ronan moved closer to Adam, “May I?”

Adam laughed, but nodded.

They came at each other fast until their lips touched each other's. The kiss was chaste and gentle as if they were afraid to break one another. Adam could feel Ronan's tears mixing with his own. When they separated, their foreheads stayed glued shut and they nuzzled noses. They laughed again and hugged almost as a promise to never let go.

@. @. @.

They eventually made it downstairs to be greeted by Blue and villagers now remembering their beloved prince. Ronan and Adam were ambushed by human Gansey, Henry, Noah, and Jiang who pulled them into tight hugs. Opal announced her presence by letting out a inhumane noise and keeping into Ronan's arms. She was followed by Matthew who tackled Ronan's middle and Declan who ruffled Ronan's nonexistent hair. Adam pretended not to notice the looks Gansey and Blue were exchanging before going in to kiss his beautiful, human boyfriend.

[thetypedwriter]

The Raven Boys by Maggie Steifvater-Book Review

The Raven Boys by Maggie Steifvater

        So…you’ve might have heard of this series before. I admit I’m pretty late to the bandwagon. I’ve seen it pop up Tumblr for awhile and I have no idea what Lion’s Den of a fandom I am walking into or how popular these books really are, but I do know that I had a 40% off coupon for Barnes and Noble and nothing in particular I needed or wanted to buy so hence reading “The Raven Boys” and finally this review.

        The first word that comes to mind was: good. I enjoyed it. Enjoyed it enough to buy the next three books in the series which I’ll probably start this afternoon. Like all books that I’ve read recently, this book has more pros than it does cons, which sometimes for the teen fandom is pretty hard to come by unfortunately.

        So let’s delve in.

        One, I actually like the main female character. One of the very sad facts about young adult fiction is that the girl protagonists usually suck, and suck the big one. It pains me to say it, but they are usually whiny, too good to be true, pretentious, boring, or just shittily created. I can probably list on one hand female protagonists that didn’t make me roll my eyes or want to rip my hair out. Blue Sargeant-the resident female protagonist-was actually pretty likeable in my opinion. I liked that she was eccentric but not naturally. She worked hard for that appearance, has no pretenses about being vain, and seems to not care or be embarrassed by her incredibly odd all female psychic family that are also pretty three-dimensional and interesting people. So congrats Maggie Steifvater, you managed to create female characters with depth, complexity, and intrigue.

        As for the Raven Boys, they are all very interesting. While the individuals themselves are a bit cliché (you’ve got the leader, the poor boy who wants to be rich, and the resident badass douche) it was their dynamic more than anything that I found fascinating. With Gansey taking the role not only as the leader, but also their keeper, the trio took on a more meaningful but darker glean. Adam felt like he was Gansey’s plaything and there are several points in the novel where he refers to Gansey liking all of his “things” in one place-things being the Raven Boys. Gansey is also the only one able to “control” or “command” Ronan to do or not do things like beat the shit out of his older brother or cram for an exam. Their dynamic holds friendship sure, but there was also a very obvious undercurrent of power play and submission with Gansey acting as role of master which I found very odd but pleasantly intriguing for a young adult series. Fodder for fanficiton definitely.

        Also interesting was the role of Noah. I don’t want to give away spoilers, because I was actually surprised by this twist, but it was very interesting. Any twist that actually manages to surprise me instead of piss me off or being extremely easy to predict it is also very rare-so thank you again Maggie. I owe you one.

        Last, the plot was always moving. I did think the beginning was a bit slow how it was all about how Gansey conversed and behaved with his friends and the introduction of Blue’s powers and the beautiful small but witchy town of Henrietta, but I found I didn’t mind. The complex relationships kept it fresh and invigorating instead of boring and dull and put emphasis on how important all the connections were.

        Actually, half the time I was a little bit confused and left in the dark about how things were actually working in the beginning. I actually like this writing tactic of not explaining every little thing and leaving readers in the dark to figure it out themselves; and Maggie pulled it off very well-just like Melissa Marr did in her Wicked Lovely series. I like that you first read about Blue in an abandoned graveyard and you slowly start to figure out why and how and what gives. I prefer that technique over authors tripping over themselves to explain every inch and nuance of their one dimensional characters in their cookie cutter world.

        I suppose the only complaint I have was the pacing. Sometimes certain scenes or chapters would be a bit too abrupt, abrupt enough to leave me a little confused and uncertain where things had been left. The ending was a great example. I think Maggie was going for a cliffhanger but instead she created a valley of confusion and what the hell’s. I had honest to goodness thought Adam died in the forest, so imagine my surprise when he was absolutely fine and bought an apartment. It didn’t make much sense to me and I needed more details. It’s a fine line between being left in the dark and being thrown in the dark with a hood over my eyes and no flashlight to speak of. The very ending, as in the last page, was also just plain confusing more so than gasp inducing. I’m hoping that the next book will clear up a lot of the burgeoning questions I have.

Recommendation: “The Raven Boys” is a good, unique read. If you like the dynamics of one cool girl with four boys, psychics, fortune telling, Celtic myths, prep-school-wearing-uniform-boys, and small towns then this is a good book for you. If you like authors to explain what they mean and to always know what is going on at all times this book will haunt you forever.

 Score: 8/10

[useyourrwords]

Top Ten Tuesday // Screen Adaptations I LOVED, Ones I NEED & And Ones I NEED NOW – Page to Screen

I’m a lover of screen adaptations

Look we had a run of ones that weren’t…great. But the last few years have more than made up for it!

Honestly, it’s just made me more excited for screen adaptations to come!

The rise of limited series have made it even more possible for the industry to get our favourites right.

I must admit, lately I have become someone who usually even prefers the screen adaptation. But that being said, some of my favourites have been ones I hadn’t even read the book for first!

But I really do think that the watch first, read later thing works for me. If I see a screen adaptation coming out for a book I haven’t read yet, then I’m not someone who rushes out to read the book first.

In fact, I will purposely wait until after I’ve seen the adaptation because nine times out of ten it means I’ll be able to appreciate the adaptation for what it is instead of constantly holding it to the high standards of the book. If I go in relatively blind first than I don’t know what I’m missing. Ignorance is bliss, as they say.

So in this post I’m going to be listing five adaptations I have seen and LOVED, Some of which I haven’t even read the books for yet! Shhh, I’ll get to them, five I NEED to happen and how I would want them handled.

And of course it wouldn’t be a Grey Top Ten without some honourable mentions at the end, this time of screen adaptations that are coming but that I’m impatient for and want NOW.

If you would like to buy any of the following books please consider using my Book Depository Affliate link!

Past Top Ten Tuesdays

 Top Ten Tuesday // Fave Short Stories and Anthologies – Magical Doors, Radical Women, Villains and the Ultimate Heart Break

 Top Ten Tuesday // My Back List Books – I’m Publicly Shaming Myself

 Top Ten Tuesday // Audible and Overdrive Are My Lords & Saviors – My Audiobook TBR

Screen Adaptations I LOVED

│To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before│Jenny Han│Screen Adaptation│

Lara Jean: I wrote five letters, so don’t go feeling too special. Peter: You wrote five love letters? Lara Jean: Yeah. Peter: Damn, Covey, you’re a player.

This one is the most recent one I’ve seen and I adored it!

Lara Jean is sweet and adorable and Peter is everything a teen girl could dream of.

I recently read the book in December and I think the movie did it justice.

Also Lana Condor played Lara Jean perfectly. Like every little detail was just right. I loved discovering that after seeing the film because it made me appreciate it even more.

     │Big Little Lies│Liane Moriarty│Screen Adaptation│

Madeline: They say it’s good to let your grudges go, but I don’t know, I’m quite fond of my grudge. I tend it like a little pet.

Big Little Lies captivated me from the first fucking episode.

This is another one where I saw the adaptation before the book and this is actually one of those times where I couldn’t tell you which one I prefer. Maybe it’s just been too long since I’ve consumed either?

I really loved how the story is told and I was obsessed with it, jamming it down everyone’s throats after I binge watched the show.

I need season 2 like, yesterday!

     │Sharp Object│Gillian Flynn│Screen Adaptation│

Amma Crellin: Don’t tell Momma

This limited series made me want to die. But in the good way.

It just—I was not ready in the slightest. 

Amy Adams fucking killed it as Camille and deserved all the awards. She’s become one of my favourite actresses because of it.

I’m even willing to possibly watch the Woman in the Window because she’s in it even though the author of book is absolutely a dumpster fire.

Everything about Sharp Objects was a knife to the throat.

I need to read the book SOON!

     │Dumplin’│Julie Murphy│Screen Adaptation│

Willowdean: As far as I’m concerned, a swimsuit body is a body with a swimsuit on it.

I cried so much watching this film. Like sobbing, I couldn’t stop.

It was what Sierra Burgess should have been but could never be.

Also it features one of my fave actors Bex Taylor-Klaus and their v. fake teeth.

I haven’t read the book but i probably won’t read it because it doesn’t seem as good as the film.

     │Love, Simon│Becky Albertalli│Screen Adaptation│

Emily: As soon as you came out, you said, “Mom, I’m still me.” I need you to hear this: You are still you, Simon. You are still the same son who I love to tease and who your father depends on for just about everything. And you’re the same brother who always complements his sister on her food, even when it sucks. You get to exhale now, Simon.

Hello and welcome to my favourite film, possibly of all time.

I would have sobbed while watching this the first time but I was in a packed theatre so I had to settle for subtly tears. But GOD DAMN IT if that wasn’t the most perfect film.

Okay so it wasn’t perfect, there were some things that weren’t the best BUT we finally got a LGBTQ+ film where nobody fucking dies. That’s a win for me.

I just loved it so much I bought like the collector’s edition of the DVD it’s ultraray or something, I have no idea but I sobbed through the whole re-watch.

It’s just the perfect movie for when you’re sad and need cheering up.

Screen Adaptations I NEED

│Sadie│Courtney Summers│Limited Series│

I wish his darkness lived outside of him, because you have to know it’s there to see it. Like all real monsters, he hides in plain sight.

So everyone knows this book has become one of the best audiobooks of all time. I mean, I haven’t listened to is yet but I have zero doubts.

But I think Sadie would also make the perfect limited series, think Big Little Lies and Sharp Objects.

Perfection.

     │The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo│Taylor Jenkins Reid│Limited Series│

“Don’t ignore half of me so you can fit me into a box. Don’t do that.”

I cried when I finished the book and had to come to terms with the fact Evelyn Hugo isn’t a real fucking person because she should be and Reid made her feel realer than any person I actually know.

Also I changed my middle name to Evelyn to honour her.

This would make an amazing limited series! Can you tell I love limited series yet?

Honestly I just want to be one step closer to make Evelyn as real of a person as possible.

Also the actress MUST be queer and Cuban. I won’t have it any other way.

Basically I just want the adaptation Jamieson @ Jamishelves described.

     │Dangerous Girls│Abigail Haas│Film│

Wouldn’t we all look guilty, if someone searched hard enough?

This book was so un-put-downable I could scream.

Honestly it was one of my favourite reads for 2018 and I read a lot of good books last year.

I would love it to be filmed documentary style. I think it would be really cool to do it that way as if it’s a real crime being covered.

I don’t know, I just want it.

     │Genuine Fraud│E. Lockhart│Film│

For anyone who has been taught that good equals small and silent, here is my heart with all its ugly tangles and splendid fury.

Jule is honestly a fucking monster and I need to see her on my screen.

I don’t know how I want it, I just know I need it.

     │All For The Game│Nora Sakavic│Netflix Series│

“Fight because you don’t know how to die quietly. Win because you don’t know how to lose.”

My co-worker and I have gone over what we want from this screen adaptation so many times and it includes a Netflix series, Troye Sivan and Alison and Renee need to be canon and NO WHITE WASHING!

But also I’m in love with Jamieson’s @ Jamishelves casting.

Honourable Mentions

Screen Adaptations I Need NOW

│The Rook│Daniel O’Malley│Stan Series│

“You look like Cinderella,” said Val in awe. “Yeah, if she’d been into bondage and had Christian Dior for a godmother.”

I was scrolling through the Stan (Australian streaming service) Facebook page, when I saw a trailer for a new series they have coming out called The Rook.

Boy, was I surprised to find out that one of the very first books I ever read because of Goodreads, specifically because of Emily May’s review, was being made into a screen adaptation.

I loved the plot and the world and our main character.

It was whip smart and magical and thrilling. It was such a great genre cross-over and I loved every second of it.

I can’t wait for the series and I am in physical pain because they haven’t actually announced a release date yet. I cry.

Writing this post made me want to reread it, so I read it in April for a readathon!

     │Shades of Magic│V.E. Schwab│Film Rights Sold│

“I apologize for anything I might have done. I was not myself.” “I apologize for shooting you in the leg.” said Lila. “I was myself entirely.”

My love for this series will never die, and neither will my mum’s.

After all, she took Lila’s name as her own middle name when she changed her name earlier this year.

We basically have matching literary middle names now because you can’t tell me that Lila and Evelyn aren’t the most Slytherin women you’ll ever read.

I feel like I’ve been waiting for this screen adaptation forever and I’ll probably still be waiting for it forever.

But I don’t care because there is hope and I need it.

Also I want Piera Forde as Lila Bard.

        │Grishaverse│Shadow & Bone│Six of Crows│Leigh Bardugo│Netflix Series│

“When everyone knows you’re a monster, you needn’t waste time doing every monstrous thing.”

I’m so excited I could scream!!!!

I mean I haven’t read the Shadow & Bone series yet but  I have read Six of Crows like every other person and their dog.

Things I want;

No white-washing

No straight-washing

And give us FAT NINA, you cowards. Barbie Ferreira, preferably.

Dark

V. v. dark

Also check out Jamieson’s @ Jamishelves post on this.

     │The Raven Cycle│Maggie Steifvater│Series Rights Sold│

“Way back before you were born, Calla and Persephone and I were messing around with things we probably shouldn’t have been messing around with—” “Drugs?” “Rituals. Are you messing around with drugs?” “No. But maybe rituals.” “Drugs might be better.” “I’m not interested in them. Their effects are proven— where’s the fun in that? Tell me more.”

I’m currently reading this series and it’s just so brilliant.

It has to be big on characters! yes, the world is magical and incredible but the characters should always be first.

Also I wanna see lots of the psychics because they’re fucking funny and wise and honestly I just need Persephone and her whimsy self.

The relationship dynamics between all the members of the Gansey Gang are important. Don’t fuck with it. Any of it.

     Past Top 5 Tuesdays

 Top 5 Tuesday // Books I Would Save In A Fire – Fuck Everything Else, Let Me Save My Books…And Cat

 Top 5 Tuesday // Incredible Introductions – An Excuse to Share More Quotes

 Top 5 Tuesday // Character Driven Books – The Books with My favourite Monsters

I have thought about these far too much

What screen adaptations have you loved? What ones have you hated? What ones do you want to see? Which books did you want to never be touched by Hollywood at all? 

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