#things wrong with her. i want another 13 year old to know people care about her so she won’t want to die because no one respects her

[navysealt4t]

don’t you love it when you have to debate for ur own fuxking rights against ur brother for an hour and it just ends with you in tears because your parents haven’t called you blue once and it’s been 3 years

[all-about-kyu]

Summary: You were so close, but some things aren’t meant to be. Pairing: bunny!Jaemin x fem human!reader Tropes: established relationship au, hybrid au Genre: angst, a little fluff Rating:  PG 13 Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of surgery, severe cramping, blood, language miscarriages, lots of crying Word Count: 3,398 Note: Everyone can blame @raibebe for this

Neo Hybridverse Masterlist || Cashmere Lop!Jaemin Masterlist

Jaemin has expressed for years now that he wants multiple kids. You tried so hard for so long to have Miyoung, and she’s more than you could ever ask for. She’s ten months old now and lights up your entire world daily. Her oversized tan floppy ears continuously fall in her face wherever she crawls off to. You giggle slightly each time you hear her make a little annoyed noise. Jaemin is at work right now, so it’s just you and Miyoung at home until late this evening. 

In reality, it’s you, Miyoung, and the tiny unborn baby you just learned about. Most people would be scared or nervous about having two kids so close in age. After all, by the time this baby is born, Miyoung will only be a year and a half old. You aren’t worried about it at all. If you’re being completely honest, you’re rather excited. Jaemin told you not too long ago that he wanted another one already. You can’t blame him, even with your daughter so young. You wanted another one already, too. Once you saw those two little pink lines on three different tests, it was evident that you and your husband got your wish. This time, instead of telling him about your pregnancy, you just left the tests out and decided to let his nose do the work. As if on cue, the front door of your home pops open and shut again. Your eyebrows furrow, knowing Jaemin shouldn’t be home long after you put Miyoung to bed. Though, you only put your daughter to bed half an hour ago. You hear your husband sigh, followed by footsteps approaching you.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he says, voice laced with exhaustion.

“Hey,” you start, turning around to wrap your arms around him, “I thought you weren’t supposed to be home until eleven.”

“Supervisor cut my shift short.”

His voice sounds exhausted but not as usual after a long day at work. It borders on sounding depressed rather than tired. You search his face for any hints as to why he’s feeling the way he is. Nothing seems to give it away, though.

“Did something happen?” you ask gently.

Jaemin worries on his lower lip, “I lost a patient in surgery today.” he admits, “The little premature puppy baby. I was trying so hard to get him to a state where he could go home with his parents and-”

“Jaemin,” you speak in a sympathetic tone, “You did everything you could. We both know that.”

“There must have been something else I could’ve done for him. He was only a week old.”

You take your husband’s face in your hands, holding his ears out of his face. Your thumb gently wipes away a stray tear he was trying to keep in. He silently cries for a moment, and you don’t say anything. You stand there and wipe away tears as they fall. He’s always cared so deeply for his patients. It tears him apart when he loses one, especially while trying to save them. Once his tears stop, he sighs and starts to talk again.

“I just hate that his parents go home without him in their arms. It’s not-” he lets out a shaky breath, “Knowing what it’s like to lose a child, I hate that I know how much pain they’re experiencing right now.”

“I know.” you sigh, “I know. After we lost-”

You can’t bring yourself to finish your sentence. Though you never met your first baby, you know the pain of losing a child. Before you got pregnant with Miyoung, you were supposed to have another one. Jaemin was over the moon excited to have a baby finally. You’d been trying for months on end to get pregnant, so when you finally did, there was no bringing him down from his high. At around the eleven-week mark, though, something felt wrong. You were cramping like you had never known cramps before. Jaemin rushed you to your obstetrician only to discover that your child no longer has a heartbeat. After that, there was the spotting and eventually a rather heavy period that you knew was your body, removing the small life from your body. You had never known a low like that. Jaemin wasn’t doing much better than you were, either. He supported you through it all as best as he could.

You let out a shaky breath and pull away from your husband slightly.

“I’ll let you be alone for a few moments. I’m going to check on Mi and get ready for bed.” you inform him.

“I’ll be there in a few moments, my love.” he responds, voice still a bit shaky. 

You walk down the hall and peer into Miyoung’s room, only to see her peacefully sleeping. She’s fast asleep on her belly, one ear over her shoulder while the other is splayed out alongside one of her arms outstretched above her head. Seeing her so peaceful comforts you in knowing you’ll at least have her. You know it’s not the time to tell Jaemin about your pregnancy, though, not with his current mental state. You sneak into your en suite bathroom and start to pick up the positive pregnancy tests.

“I thought I smelled something different.” You hear your husband’s voice.

“Jaemin I-”

He walks up to you and takes the tests from you, “You’re actually-”

“I am.” You nod, “I just found out this morning.”

A bright smile bursts across his face. Brighter than you’ve seen in a while. It’s the same smile he had when you told him about Miyoung. 

“You have another little life growing in you.” he muses, placing a hand against your belly.

“I do,” you smile, tears starting to form in your eyes, “We’ll have another little one come November.”

For a few weeks, Jaemin tries to convince you to tell Miyoung already. Each time, you tell him it’s not the best idea purely because if you try to explain that to your ten-month-old, you’ll be opening a can of worms. Additionally, your daughter is brilliant and would likely pick up her father’s habit of touching your belly every chance she could reach it. Of course, that would spark multiple questions when she does it in front of someone who doesn’t know about it. The only people who you’ve told about it are Jeno and his girlfriend. They’ll be the ones to have Miyoung when it comes time for you to give birth, and you all know Jeno’s nose will quickly pick up on Jaemin’s scent embedded in you the moment he sees you. 

You’ve just about hit the three-month mark of your pregnancy without a hitch. You get to go find out the gender of the baby later in the week, which Jaemin is over the moon about. He wants another little girl so desperately that you think he may manifest it into existence. Jeno said his bet is on a boy just because Jaemin wants them to be a girl so badly. As always, Haneul is currently zooming through the home while Miyoung tries to keep up with himhaving just learned to walk. You can already tell the two of them will be thick as thieves when they’re older. Aerum is fast asleep in her room. Both Jeno and his girlfriend take it as an advantage for now. Though, the moment the seven-month-old wakes, she’ll start howling. Haneul, being two, assumes that means he can howl too. Jeno has mentioned on many occasions that he’s thankful they don’t live in an apartment anymore for that reason. 

You’re peacefully sitting on the couch, Jaemin’s arm resting along the back of it behind your head. Jeno and his girlfriend sit on the couch catty cornered to you. It seems as though you have their undivided attention, but you know they’re also keeping an ear out for their son who’s a walking safety hazard and their infant daughter who as of recently hasn’t been sleeping well. You have a hand resting on your belly despite there not being a visible bump yet. Something about the contact makes you feel heat burst through your chest knowing you have another little on the way. 

Suddenly, you feel a sharp stab of pain through your back. It feels as though someone stuck a knife in you and dragged it around from your spine to just below your belly button. It makes you scrunch yourself into a ball and immediately Jaemin has one of his strong arms wrapped around you. It’s almost as if the four hybrids can smell the disturbance in the air. Haneul comes running into the room and tries to get your attention with small whimpering sounds. You can hear your daughter’s uneven footsteps against the floor as she approaches accompanied by small honks of frustration that she can’t get there quicker. Jeno quickly and carefully whisks Miyoung and his son into his arms. 

“You go get checked out. We got Miyoung taken care of.” he informs you.

With that he takes the two little ones down the hall, you assume into his game room to distract them with his farming game. Jaemin move to kneel in front of you to try to get a read of your face. You’re very much hidden behind your hair and hands though. Jeno’s girlfriend is already grabbing Jaemin’s car keys to get everything ready by the time your husband manages to get you to the car. 

“Honey,” Jaemin asks quietly, “Can you tell me what’s happening?” “It hurts.” you gasp out, “It hurts to fucking bad.”

You know Jaemin is starting to panic. He know he won’t be able to get you to walk down the stairs and out to the car, though. He picks you up and carries you. You need to see a doctor, one that isn’t him. One that can check on you and the baby. The entire drive to the hospital is a blur. All you can think about is the excruciating pain you feel in your stomach. Jaemin keeps one of his hands firmly holding yours even as you walk into the emergency room. It’s too perfect that the moment you step into the building you see Yuta’s wife walking toward the exit. She can smell something wrong too, she walks over and helps Jaemin support you despite her small stature. With her free hand she pulls out her paging device to get the first obstetrician that she could. 

You don’t know how long you would’ve sat in the waiting room if it wasn’t for her. Luckily she’s here though. 

You find yourself admitted to a room within the hour. Jaemin is doing his best to hide his anxious state but you can read your husband like a book. He’s terrified. You’re not doing so amazing either. They gave you some medication for the pain but still you’re not comfortable physically or emotionally. All you can do is wait for this doctor to be ready for you.

“Jaemin,” you whisper.

Your husband looks over at you. One hand still tightly locked with yours while the other hand is playing with his ear anxiously. His nose is twitching too. The only time his nose ever twitches is when he’s absolutely terrified. Last time it happened was when you were going into active labor with Miyoung.

“I’m going to use the bathroom real quick.” you inform him, “I need my hand back for a little bit.”

“Do you need help getting there or any-” he immediately starts worrying.

“I’ll be okay.” you give him a pained smile.

You should’ve let him help you. The moment you begin to pull your clothing down you see the red spots in your underwear. Your heart drops. Still, you try to contain yourself and just begin redressing. Your initial plan to let your body do what it needs before the doctor come goes out the window instantly. You slip out of the bathroom and lean back against the door facing toward your hospital bed. Jaemin looks at you with a concerned but expecting face. Yours is blank though. Spotting is never a good sign when you’re pregnant, especially after getting copious amounts of pain through your back and stomach.

“Doctor. Now.” you say flatly, looking at the floor in front of you.

“Baby, is everything-”

“Get a fucking doctor in here now, Jaemin. Is that so hard to do?” you snap.

Jaemin flinches and practically runs out to the lobby area to get someone in here who could do something. Now alone in the room you break down sobbing loudly. You couldn’t care less about who hears you right now. You know your baby isn’t alive. You should’ve known the moment you got those cramps that something’s severely wrong. That’s how your husband finds you. Curled up against the wall, sobbing into your hands.

“The obstetrician is coming.” he says softly.

He pulls you to stand up and walks with you over to the bed to sit down properly. Jaemin wraps his arms around you as you cry. You’re wetting his ear with your tears but neither of you care about that right now.

“Sweetheart, I-” he sighs, “I told them to have some mifepristone and misoprostol ready too, j- just in case.”

His voice is pained. You know those medication names all too well. If your pregnancy isn’t viable, it helps your body remove the fetus without surgery. Hearing him say those words only makes you sob harder. You know your baby isn’t with you anymore, and he does too. It’s a pain you don’t wish on anyone.

After several minutes of sobbing in your husband’s arms you slow to a sniffle. The obstetrician walks in a moment later and ushers you both toward where the ultrasound machinery is housed. You’re numb now. You can’t feel a thing emotionally. As a psychiatrist you know you’re disassociating, but maybe for right now that isn’t the worst thing.

Jaemin still holds your hand tightly, eyes brimmed with tears. You go through the motions as you move your shirt and the doctor places the cool gel against your belly. It takes mear moments for her to find the baby and confirm your worst fear. You knew it was coming, still, it’s another stab through your heart. Jaemin bursts into tears beside you, his hand letting go of yours for the first time since he returned from getting a doctor. His ears fall in his face as he looks down at his shoes.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” she says, voice laced with pity, “Would you like to know what they would’ve been had you gone to term?”

You nod silently.

“Dad?” she asks carefully.

“Yeah,” he says through sniffles, “If you could.”

“A little girl. Seems as though she would’ve been human too. There was no early development of rabbit tail or ears.”

Jaemin lets out a pained noise. You feel all your emotions rush back through you and tears stream down your face as the doctor wipes the gel from your belly. As you leave the hospital with the medication in Jaemin’s hands you feel as though you enter some sort of dissociative state again. You don’t remember getting in the car or Jaemin calling your Samoyed hybrid friend asking if they could keep Miyoung for the night. All you know is that you stay in the car and suddenly Jaemin comes back with a bag full of things Miyoung will need. 

When you arrive back at the Lee household your one-year-old is anxious to see you. Jeno’s girlfriend tries to contain the two toddlers but Miyoung is practically climbing your leg when you enter her field of vision. Her long tan ears bouncing with each motion she makes. Neither of the other two adults need to ask what ended up happening. It’s evident that you and your husband have been crying. Jaemin had explained to you after your first miscarriage that he could smell when your pregnancy was no longer progressing. So when you see Jeno’s ears droop slightly, you know he knows what happened. 

“Baby?” Miyoung asks when you pick her up.

“No, sweetie, no more baby.”

The sentence pains you to say but you don’t want to lie to her either. She doesn’t need to know what happened, she’s fine just knowing that mommy doesn’t have the baby anymore.

“You’re going to have a sleepover with Haneul and Aerum, okay? You get to have lots of fun while Mommy and Daddy do boring adult things.” you explain to her.

That’s all she had to hear. She squirms in your arms to get down. Jaemin leans over and kisses her cheek before you do the same and put her down. She and Haneul zoom off again, likely to cause trouble somewhere. Jaemin passes the overnight bag to Jeno, who quietly takes it.

“I’m sorry, guys. I don’t know what it’s like but-” Jeno starts.

“You’re right. You don’t.” you say curtly, “Jaemin can we leave now?”

You don’t even let your husband respond. You walk out of the home and back to the car. Jaemin lingers a moment and gives your friends an apologetic look before bidding them goodbye.

The drive home is silent. You keep your hands folded in your lap the entire time as you look out the window. You’re avoiding looking at Jaemin for now. If you look at him it’ll be the last pebble that will break the dam. The moment you pull up to your house you get out of the car and walk toward the front door, still not looking at your beloved bunny hybrid husband. Just as you reach the door though you feel Jaemin’s arms wind around you from behind.

“I know it’s hard, but don’t ignore me. Share the burden with me. It’s the least I can do as your husband and father of our children.” he says against your hair.

Again you start crying, “Child. We have one child.”

“We have three.” he states firmly, “Only one is with us physically but we have three children.”

“Why does it have to be so hard for us to-” you interrupt yourself with more tears.

You turn around in his hold and cry against his shoulder in the cool late spring night air. If anyone driving by sees you they pay you no mind and likely assume you’re a young couple sharing a romantic moment. They couldn’t be more wrong.

“And with how my pregnancy records seem to track it’ll only get harder as we get older. Jaem, we’re only 26 but I’m worried that it’ll become nearly impossible by the time were 30.”

“I know. I know.” he soothes, rubbing your back gently,  “If it ends up being that we only have Miyoung with us then we’ll love her as much as we can.” he offers, “Maybe so much that she’ll want to go away for university because she’s tired of us.” he jokes slightly. “Now, you clearly need some food in your stomach and a drink of water. Let’s get inside and into more comfy close. Cuddles all night, doctor’s orders.”

Jaemin keeps his word, the moment you’re fed, hydrated, and in more comfortable clothing you’re snuggled up in your shared bed. Your head is pillowed against Jaemin’s chest and you play with his fingers absentmindedly. Your mind seems to run a mile a minute while also being completely blank.

“I love you.” you whisper so quietly it’s practically a breath.

“I love you too. Thank you for being my wife and the mother to our babies. I’m so proud of you and you’re so damn strong. Never forget that, okay?” 

You nod, “Okay, I won’t.”

“I mean it,” he continues, “I don’t know how I lucked out this much but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

“Even if-”

“Nothing. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” he stops you before you could finish your thought, “I love you so much. We’ve had far too long of a day and I fully plan on cuddling you the entire night.”

“I love you too. Good night, bunnyboy.”

“Good night, my love.”

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Networks: @kwritersworld @k-vanity

Tag List: @jaehunnyy @umbralhelwolf @wooyoungmybelovedhusband

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for siding with my Dad and actively shit talking/giving points about things his wife is wrong for?

Using 🎸🎶 as my emojis so I don't get lost.

For context, I (17F) and my sisters (14F and 12F) have lived with divorced parents for the past almost 13 years, nearly our entire lives. Our Dad (38M) and our Mom (38F) got divorced long ago, and since both have been remarried and divorced. My dad is currently married to his third wife (37F) and things have gone to shit. They grew up together and reconnected through Facebook a while back and began to talk. Since early July, they reconnected around late June, we have; drove 40 hours to Ohio to see and meet Wife and her 3 daughters (15, 7 and 5 F), moved them down over 80 hours of back and forth with both pets and kids, lived in a small trailer house until we closed our half million dollar one, and now we live in an old 1940s house where Wife never has to work unless she wants to. My Dad provides for her and her three kids easily on his own due to owning a fraction of the company he works for, but money has been a little tight due to a lack of houses to work on and her excessive spending.

This morning was when it bubbled over. She woke him up 30 mins before he needed to have his trailer, and hour away to pick it up, and be in another city still 30 mins from there, to pick up a free dresser we do not have room for. While getting ready he was informed her two youngest did the dishes to ask for something, a habit they all have. And to be clear, they ONLY do chores to go places and do things, so the house is often trashed. My Dad boiled over after both things adding onto all the stress of caring for 8 people and only seeing his 3 kids 4 days a month, and it started a scream fight that she encouraged. She loves to rile him up and then play victim, and this time was no different. Despite being angry, he asks if she still wants to go get the dresser, and she says she won't ride with him even to talk it out or get the fifth dresser for their room. So me and my middle sister (14F, we'll call her D.) Go with. We get the trailer, get into town, and he calls to confirm the address. Rather than tell him, she plays hard to get to piss him off, and we leave instead, not getting the dresser and taking the trailer back. The entire way Dad, D and I air our grievances about the behavior of Wife and her kids, discussing habits we don't like and clarifying we aren't doing it to be mean. It turns out, she was also bitching about the laundry and how she does everything when I've only ever seen her do theirs and no other chores. My Dad offers to solve it by having his own basket for his own laundry and even cooking his own meals if that's what's bothering her. Instead, she takes off her wedding ring rather than accepting the solutions. We talks, discussing how yes, they've been through a lot, but so have we, and that doesn't excuse her behavior.

We get home and the fighting starts again rather quickly, we don't catch much before it dies out but he tries to reason with her. I paint and everyone is calm for a bit. Well, I'm sitting on my bed and the fighting starts again. D and I share a room right over the garage, where the fight was, and D drops to the floor to listen. Our Dad uses many of the points we brought up in the car, and it hits hard and rings true really. At some point Wife complains that we never talk to her, and Dad points out that she picks fights when we're here and we know what divorce sounds like and refuse to get attached. She calls him our for being married and divorced twice, and Dad gets petty and tells her he didn't have kids outside marriage. And finally she complains that we don't do anything, and my Dad points out that we're self sufficient and do everything when we're here. The fight continues, he keeps making points we all discussed on the way to and from the trailer and failed dresser retrieval, and he keeps bringing up the ring since he doesn't want to divorce again.

Anyways, its causing a rift and I haven't told anyone but my Mom that I helped supply points, but I just feel bad because I feel like I somehow made the fighting worse by mentioning all the shit she does and talks about him and us.

TLDR; Dad and new wife were fighting all day and my sister and I gave points and talked shit about what's been bothering us in the car and our Dad brought up those points in the fight.

So Tumblr, am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[casasupernovas]

i know it's not just me who gets really irritated when the dw media minimises martha's arc (and the doctor's for that matter) like this. this bio is summarising the first half of the season btw.

because why does so much doctor who related media have such a great reluctance to say what the doctor is actually doing in series 3. he is using martha to get over rose. i suppose they don't say it because it sounds bad if you say using because...

if all the doctor really did that season was just be sad and martha didn't care, i would understand the dislike towards her character.

but what this little bio neglects to mention that he is the one who pursues her not the other way around. and the doctor doesn't treat her much like a friend either. and as for just coming to terms with rose's loss - the way this manifests is the real issue here. heck, if he had litey just said that, that literal line 'i'm just coming to terms with losing her', we would have had a very different season. people think martha should know this when he doesn't even tell martha he lost rose.

series 3 is forever murky because no one is being fully truthful here.

when martha uses the analogy of her friend pining over a guy who doesn't notice her, it's not the full truth of what happened between her and the doctor is it? she was being nice about it. if martha had mentioned that this guy also kissed her friend, hung around her, compared to his ex girlfriend, would be nice to her one moment then mean the next...but also didn't want to leave her either...maybe then we could have got somewhere.

it's pretty clear to me that the outside content doesn't want to dive into this because it makes the doctor look bad. it's one thing to do the timelord victorious, it's another to address the tenth doctor outwardly being bad towards his companion.

the closest we got was that 13 comic and even that didn't get it completely right.

i'm pretty sure it's why there still hasn't been a target novelisation of any martha story yet. i don't think they know how to address it yet. especially with the racial aspect, it makes them look almost comically bad. like you really had the opportunity to bring in the first female black onscreen companion of the show's then 40-something year history and you selected her to be the one to dump on? really? the worst part is that a huge chunk of the fandom, especially on this site isn't completely embarassed by this or by how they contributed to it either.

i still remember how red faced an old friend was when she showed me martha's season, and i correctly predicted before even watching the series that martha was gonna get the short end of the stick not just by the show, but by the fans too.

worst case scenario is that the general consensus is the doctor was completely justified in treating martha the way he did. now WE know from commentaries and the writers tale that the doctor indeed is in the wrong this series. but that doesn't exactly translate when you get it's own media doing this.

[kybelles]

hi love! I'm feeling devious so for the choose violence asks, 24 and 25

HIII BABY 💞💞 i sincerely hope you don’t mind me answering everything via your ask 🥹 i just didn’t want to spam the tl with my non-stop posting!

1.the character everyone gets wrong

JOKASTE!!! 😩 sooo many times in fan creations she’s a mustache twirling villain and look i get it! she needs to go in order to lamen to be together but i don’t know why each time she needs to cheat on damen…. people can break up for other reasons yk…..

i feel like people don’t really get how much jokaste holds damen in such a high regard. the first time she talked to laurent she was full of praises for damen and yes although the majority of the reason was to taunt laurent, it was too heartfelt to be faked entirely. i find her a quite tragic character honestly. in another world she would be proud and happy to be to be damen’s queen 🙁 i wish more ppl cared about her OR stop portraying her as this cold unfeeling girlboss who was sooo sick of damen’s bs that she punished him by gleefully fucking kastor….. i really really don’t think that’s who she is. she loved damen in her own way. she was also a sentimental woman. (her last letter to damen will never make me not emotional….)

3.screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

SCREENSHOT OMG hats off to any brave soul who actually posts it….. also the collection on bad takes is so rich idk what to choose… ok i got one: so i genuinely don’t remember the details but a few years ago there was a post circulating about how laurent was actually Good All Along (yes even in book one where he drugged damen and then threw him into a rape ring and also had him whipped after intentionally setting him up 🙂 ) and it had so many likes…. i’ll never ever understand the need to whitewash book 1 laurent’s actions. like why do you even stan a controversial character if you don’t like his controversial aspects…. i really believe this is quite the disservice to such a multidimsensional character like laurent. :/

7.what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how the fandom acts about them?

hmm i wouldn’t say hate but some posts i read about auguste made me sorta dislike him  😬 idk when and where i read it but there was one post in particular that said they wish auguste would come back to life and beat the shit out of damen and i was like WOAHHH??? you want the mc (who you spent three books with) to be beaten brutally by some canon fodder?? for what crime???  i was honestly weirded out.

there’s also the fact that i genuinely HATE l*uguste (despite not being an anti shipper in general or anything! this ship just rubs me the worst way bc laurent experienced so much trauma from the way ppl made up incest rumors about him and auguste) so any interpretation (even if they aren’t written as a romantic pair intentionally) where auguste and laurent have this unhealthy codependent bond with auguste acting like a ferocious caveman to any potential romantic suitor of laurent and laurent being all meek and allowing this treatment is a big no for me. ✋ so yes even tho i don’t hate auggie boy i can’t say i care a great deal about him. sorry baby i’m sure you are just dandy.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

that damen is an unreliable narrator 😩i talked about it in my previous post!

12.the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

EGERIA THE MF QUEEN OF AKIELOS 🗣️🗣️ i actually like every member of the akielos trio (theomedes-hypermenestra-egeria) sm because their situation reminds me of turkish harem dramas. 🤭 the lack of canon information about them allows me to make various hcs and backstories and idk i just think it’s fun!

13.worst blorboficiation

JFC i’m SOOOO old i’m ANCIENT bc i have no idea what this means….. i’d be happy to answer it if you give me some clarification (hiding my face in shame)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

oh luckily i already answered it here!

17.there should be more of this type of fic/art

I’m always a huge advocate for bottomianos even though i myself shamefully haven’t made a contribution 💔 as for art i’m beyond grateful for our wonderful artists and i humbly would like to see more of the old gang! (theo, egeria, aleron, hennike etc.)

21.part of canon you think is overhyped

hmm i unfortunately can’t think of an answer for this one, i’m sorry!

24.topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

OH DEAR… so one of the first times i actively participated in the fandom i made a post about how frustrating it was to see theomedes portrayed as an absent father despite the glaring lack of canon evidence while aleron got off the hook much easier despite laurent actually confirming he was an absentee and said i think it was about the way people perceive them (theomedes=brown and toxic, aleron=white and tastefully distant) anyways, some user whom i never talked to before (and they’re still blocked to this day despite the fact i pretty much never block anyone here) said i was “making it up” and right after i blocked them after they continued talking to me in a very rude manner some asks ✨mysteriously✨ appeared in my inbox and the person who sent them called me an “illiterature white bitch” who made up nonexistent drama…….. so yes i guess the colorism issue really ruffles some people’s feathers :) i wonder why :) 

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

“why didn’t damen figure out the regent’s abuse of laurent sooner is he stupid” setting aside the 574619 different pacat interviews where she talks about how damen needed to be oblivious bc otherwise laurent would never open up to him, why is it so wild to think damen wouldn’t assume the regent would do something like that to his own nephew? as if the entire canon events didn’t happen bc damen believed families would never hurt each other…. just wow

[sapphosdickandballs]

Hiiii~ I'm here to yapp about Jennifer's Body 😈

I'm still gonna rant with Cramity BUT it's true that you kinda got me messed up (in a good way) in the first place when we were talking about dollification and the relationship between horror content and horny content, lmao.

I don't want to give you spoilers, tho. So I'm gonna try to articulate my thoughts on the movie without actually talking about the movie. I hope I can keep it spoiler free!

Brace yourself, ig.

I've been thinking long about the movie almost in a whim. I don't know why exactly it clicked in my head the way it did, but what I do know is that I felt related to the themes and the main characters in the movie, both Needy and Jennifer. It was a fun watch, indeed, and oh Lord Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried. How I love these women.

The movie got some interesting themes, as I was saying, and I found myself smiling thinking about what could have been if, I don't know, if I got to watch the movie when I was 13 or something. You know, the peak of the angst. Probably I wouldn't care as much as I do now, but I can't shake the feeling that in some way this movie would have clicked, although slightly different, with that 13 years old me just as it is clicking now.

But why am I insisting on this ‘click’? Well, the keyword here is girlhood. In my opinion, the movie works with Needy as a character the viewer can relate to. It's a normal teenager girl, with a good boyfriend, and other people that care about her. But then we've got Jennifer. She is the dream, in some way. That stereotype of popular girl we all kind of tried to be at some point. And it got me caught up in the story, because Jennifer is quite messed up, you know? Besides what happens in the movie with all the succubus stuff, her life isn't completely perfect. Her popularity is wearing off, she feels lost, and she tries to keep it together, to keep the show going on. She starts to realize that she is not the It Girl, and she keeps on feeling more and more powerless till the things with the band I'm gonna skip because spoilers happen.

But all of this is girlhood. God, even her room felt like girlhood for me. That's what I wanted, you know? I don't know when I stopped desiring to be a girl, when it started to feel like a senseless dream... I got a phase in which I started to hate everything pink and femenine, and even after that phase was gone I found difficult to create a strong relationship with my femenine side. I didn't gave myself a chance to be girly, to enjoy that stuff, and now it's like I don't know “how to girl”. I don't know how to take care of my hair, or how to do my make up. I grew up tired and quite uncomfortable using skirts and dresses. Because in a way they felt wrong. They felt dangerous, even.

Girlhood felt like something I didn't want in my life. To grow up in my body, to have to play that fucked up hide and seek with my own identity, and to come to a sort of deal with the life I was supposed to live, based on what my parents wanted and what I felt like the goal at that time was (being perfect, basically).

I have been feeling powerless lately, I admit. Maybe because of that same girlhood that, in one hand, I denied myself and, in the other hand, was still mine in the eyes of everyone else (I don't know how to girl, but I'm still a girl, so there's that dichotomy. My girlhood has never been mine exactly, even when it's supposed to be a thing inherently mine). And this movie really got me thinking about this. About all this thing with my own identity and the sense of being powerless... When I watched it the first time I thought “this movie feels like a dream come true”, in the sense that the girl I'm projecting to, Needy, becomes someone powerful. And she fucked up everyone that messed with her. And that was cathartic.

I still feel like Jennifer's was both another teenager girl and also a metaphor of girlhood and it's problems, though. I can't stop thinking and ruminating her character... I haven't got a clear idea, so what I'm gonna say it's quite meh, but anyway. She is, in fact, just a girl like Needy, but she gets so caught up in this stereotype of what being a girl is that she ends up in such a position (mind you, this is the same stereotype I feared myself even subconsciously as I was growing up). She hides from the reality... She avoids it. Till the last minute, actually. And is almost a metaphor for that same stereotype and how dangerous it can be. It's quite tragic, and she is, in my opinion, a victim of that narrative she created (and the society created, too)...

Maybe I'm reaching, but I do find some power in her arc and I see in it all the things I already listed. She wasn't at her best before the conflict of the movie started. Then she got fucked up. And then she got powers that raised from that situation. Same powers that led to her doom. Man, it's so messed up...

The movie got me feeling so much about what I have lost, who I am and what I wanted to be when I was a kid. The movie really connected me with the girl I was. With what I wanted and dreamed about... while also connecting with present time me, and all the struggles I still have with being a girl and just exiting as a human being...

And I'm gonna leave this here for now, lmao. It's long and I'm sure I didn't say half the things I wanted to say, nor did I said what I said in a satisfactory way (I rambled too much, zero structure) neither. So yeah. Hope you enjoyed the brainrot.

Reading this with a bowl of popcorn

thank you for Brainroting in my inbox this was super interesting! It made me really wanna watch the movie I’ve only ever just watched clips of it (mostly Megan Fox covered in blood cause!!!)

But yeah this is a very interesting look into something I really don’t know much about, the concept of girlhood and being a girl in general and all the expectations. This is really fascinating. I feel like peoples brainrot/rants do more for me than like any promo. I’m gonna go do piracy try to obtain this in a super legal way 👍

[ribcageeater]

The M lore. Hand it over 🗡️🗡️🗡️

:3 you want Emmy lore? It got pretty long so M lore under the cut

M was born in 2000, they're name at the time was Dorothy Martin. He was the second child, his brother Micha Martin. M and Micha lived with their parents, Adam and Evelyn in the middle of rural Vermont, the closest place to their little house was a diner that was 3 miles away.

Here's a doodle I made a while ago

Micha worked at a "nearby" farm, the farm was like 5 miles away but Micha had a truck to drive so it wasn't a big deal.

Micha and M were left alone by their parents when M was 12, and Micha also left to work for the foundation a little after Thea, M's little sister (trans) was born.

M was left alone at 13 to care for a toddler and also finish middle school since middle school is mandatory in Vermont but high-school isn't. He got a job at that diner I mentioned making 8 dollars an hour washing dishes plus a portion of whatever tips the waiters made.

As you can guess M was extremely poor and exhausted all the time, if the chefs in the diner weren't giving M food he probably wouldn't have eaten anything but shitty school food, and even then he was in a shit ton of lunch debt.

It got worse when Adam and Evelyn came home to drop off baby Carrie, so now M has to feed a two year old and an infant somehow, but Adam and Evelyn are now sending him a bit of money every month, it's not enough but it's something.

M started making wine from the wild black berries near his house and selling it to the other kids at school in secret when he was 14, since it was easy to do and most of the other kids at school didn't know how easy it is to make.

Micha came home when Carrie turned 1, M was understandably pissed off that Micha kinda just left but he couldn't stay angry because Micha is his older brother, the person who cooked for him and read bedtime stories because their parents didn't care.

And M is no longer selling wine because Micha is bringing money in from the foundation job M doesn't know about. M is living comfortably for the first time in a while and he's finally feeling all the fear he was repressing when he was the only one taking care of Thea and Carrie.

At 16 M was introduced to the foundation by Evelyn who suddenly showed back up in his life and M was expected to go to a foundation run School, he only agreed because Thea and Carrie were in a foundation elementary school and daycare respectively and they were allowed to do things all the other kids were allowed to because they are no longer one paycheck away from being homeless during Vermont winters.

Thea was found out as anomalous in 3rd grade when she went to check on her friend that skinned their knee and she healed the injury on accident, she was contained and told that she would be using her "super powers" for good if she helped the foundation heal people.

M had just started college at this point and was finally making friends since he wasn't working all the time. He got in with "the wrong crowd" and ended up hanging out with shitty people. He had a Shitty College Boyfriend™️ named Anthony who I will get into in another post.

Fresh out of college due to nepotism, M got a job at the foundation and also changed his name to Daniel instead of Dorothy unaware that his name is going to be scrubbed clean from everything pretty soon.

Wow that was a lot, congrats for making it so far, sorry if this is all over the place lol

[thereisnolumos]

One thing that pissed me off about Harry Potter more than anything else: nothing was done about Harry being abused and neglected! Nothing! I would be fine if was because Dumbledore planned it that way and he's suppose to be a villian, or just a very grey flawed person all along who never learns from his mistakes. But no Jk Rowling wants us to feel sympathy for Dumbledore. Dumbledore is good, he just fell for the wrong person. I don't know, I just feel like this isn't just another Jk Rowling is bad at writing thing, but a growing trend in fiction in general when it comes to abuse. Especially child abuse. Unless the person is like a big bad villian(zuko and his father from avatar the last Airbender). People never talk or mention obvious abuse. And even if it's mention. Nothing is done about it in the narrative. The person doing the abusing never gets consequences(unless death, but I feel like in fiction that is too easy) and the person who is abused never addresses it or gets thearpy or help. They are always stuck with their abusers until they are adults. And than they get their happy ending and forget all about the abuse. I just more than anything I wish fiction would talk more openly about abuse. And that the characters that are not out right villians they still get consequences for the abuse they caused. Actual consequences. Not a cheap apology or an easy death. Like jail time type consequences.

JKR’s insistence of Dumbledore being a good character is infuriating. You have written a character that’s constantly uses people for his own agenda, forces several people to be COMPLETELY INDEBTED to him so that they’d never question his actions. Someone who abandons a 1yo for 10 years without checking how he’s doing ONCE and then when that child shows up baring the clear marks of at least neglect and most likely abuse he just… does nothing. At all. Dursleys leave Harry alone only after he, a 13-year-old, scares them with “I have a convicted murderer for a god father and he likes to check up on me”. And that still doesn’t eliminate neglect. Want to tell me that he had no way of helping him? Insuring the Dursleys will treat Harry better?? Come on!

It’s a horrible trend of “you should thank your abusers for making you stronger”. THEY NEVER SHOULD’VE BEEN STRONGER! They should’ve been loved and cared for, and their abusers deserve to rot and get punished.

In regards to Harry Potter universe, I like to think that Dudley goes to therapy and unlearns the shit his parents ingrained in him. And later in life he has a magical child and finds Harry and reconnects with him. And he informs his parents with no uncertain terms that they either accept his child and their magic completely and never diminish them for it, or they can fuck off from his and his child’s life. I can see Vernon going both ways honestly, but I believe Petunia to have learned her lessons and loving her grandchild with all magic and all the things she maybe doesn’t understand.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

If DCLA characters had Tumblr part 10 🕺🏼

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Fun fact, because I am adopted I legit thought for a bit too long that everyone was concieved via adoption. Like babies just appeared and you went to adopt them.

I remember when I finally did learn how babies were made it kinda felt unreal

For context I had met pregnant people but I just did not reflect at all how babies came to be

💍 queenoftherink Follow

🤝

Although I remember asking my guardian ”well how did my MOM get me in the first place before she gave me up?? Did she also adopt me??” and her response was ”You see, sometimes flowers appear in the wrong hands, and thus they need to give them away to someone who can take better care of them”

So I… kinda thought I appeared as a flower inside my bio mom and she gave me to my guardian as she could take care of flowers better…

This also made me fear having a baby grow like a flower inside of me at like age 5 so. Yeah.

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

I love reading random lore about your lives you never tell us anything irl

9 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

@supernova-number-one Found a video that describes our relationship 💜

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Ew don’t tag me in ugly animated songs stop

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Phineas and Ferb is a masterpiece, you rat

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

I never watched it. I don’t watch cartoons, it rots your brain

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

I’m gonna break into your house at a random time next week and force you to watch Phineas and Ferb.

I won’t say when, I won’t say how. But beware.

15 notes

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Should I be concerned if my daughter’s female friend climbs in from the second floor window at 1:20 AM, or should I just let it go and be supportive that she has friends?

0 notes

💅🏼 ja-jazmin Follow

Today’s question: If you woke up and realized you were 10 years old again, but you have all the memories and experiences from your current age, what would you do?

👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant Follow

Panic?

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

Yeah i’d… have an existential crisis.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

My life literally started at age 17, imagine going back to being 10. And knowing that you have to suffer through almost a decade before your life starts again.

I guess the good thing is that i’d expose my dad of his lies right off the bat and maybe make some changes there. But. I’d still be 10. I don’t wanna be 10.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Yeah like I’d get the feeling of wanting to be young again because of nostalgia and all that, but was it really that great? Sure, I’d get access to the movies and games I used to watch and play that I no longer have access to. Sure, I’d watch the kids shows again that no longer air. But besides nostalgia for media? Being 10 kinda sucked?? Is anyone in their prime time then????

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Adding to this ^ Imagine all the things that came out after you were 10. All the books, movies, shows… that you no longer have access to because they haven’t come out yet.

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Anyone else getting an irrational fear of going to sleep and waking up as a 10 year old or is it just me?

298 notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

The queer experience of meeting another person and just knowing… you’re one of us.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Yeah…

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

HOLD UP…

LUDMILA??

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Now you’re not replying.

I mean I always knew but i’m still like >:o !!

We’re gonna talk about this when I come and force you to watch some P&F tonight

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

I love my posts being helped to further the plot of whatever is going on between you two

13 notes

💍 queenoftherink Follow

So I was in a singing competition once and I got in last. I’m usually very competitive, but I surprisingly didn’t care. Honestly, I was only joining because it was a competition, but I am not really interested in a singing career.

But I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I won? How would it have looked like if I had a singing career?

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

You wouldn’t like it if Bruno still was responsible. You’d be forced to "date" someone, have random made up drama…

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Oof yeah good point

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Imagine if one of the people in the competition who was not straight won, and they’d have to be forced into a straight fake dating. And they’d also perform a love song and everyone would ask who it was about and they would not be allowed to say.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Why are you vagueposting like this??

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Cause the person themselves can’t tell anything it or they would be found out by a certain someone who has not figured out their Tumblr blog and it’s just fun to keep the mystery

50 notes

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Anonymous asked: You seem to be very interested if your daughter has a boyfriend. What would you do if your daughter has a girlfriend?

I have not considered that a thing that could happen!

Does this mean I have to keep an eye out for girls, too?!

0 notes

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

I was bored and decided to prank my stepsister. I knew she had her friend at home, so I opened the door and yelled ”stop making out”.

Now, of course, they didn’t make out at all, but they got so startled by my voice they almost hid, as if they did something.

💍 queenoftherink Follow

I thought this sounded like a fun idea and went to do the same to my cousin, who currently has her friend over.

As I opened the door and yelled ”stop making out” the two did not get startled. Rather, they just stared at me dumbfounded.

I blinked and then closed the door again. I will not let the awkwardness get to me.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Oh so THAT’S why you did that. I thought you for some reason thought me and Nina were dating (my mom thought that once so idk if that’s a rumor people for some reason have)

10 notes

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Just wanna give a shoutout to the passion fruit juice at Jam and Roller! It’s delicious!

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Ooh, we’re doing J&R recommendations? I recommend the chocolate-vanilla milkshake! It is the BEST THING I’ve tasted ever!

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Wait a minute! I finally figured you out! I did it!

YOU’RE YAM! 🫵

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

HOW did you figure it out by this, out of all things?!

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

I was about to lie and troll you by saying that I’m not Yam, but oh well.

Matteo, it has been an honor watching you absolutely suck at figuring out who I was. I mean, there were some OBVIOUS HINTS.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I just knew I had seen you drink that milkshake quite a lot, so I went from that.

I don’t really know what had been the clear hints

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Please allow me, as someone who does not often speak to Yam irl but observes and knows everything about everyone:

Hint 1: She enjoys singing. Sure, a lot of people enjoy singing at Jam and Roller, but she is our Singer.

Hint 2: Her unhinged behavior. You’re telling me you haven’t ever just noticed her being basically like Lunita but with a more brutally honest attitude?

Hint 3: Her gayness. Now, we should never assume people’s sexualities but Yam both here and much irl has been very openly gay during the last years.

Hint 4: The way she and Jim openly talk about their relationship here. Who did you think Jim was dating??? They haven’t exactly been hiding that much irl either.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I guess I just… didn’t think much about Yam. Sorry.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

That’s ok Strawberry face, I don’t think much about you either except when I troll you on Tumblr

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Now I kinda wanna get to know you haha

Wanna go grab a drink? (If Jim sees this, I promise I won’t make moves on her)

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

I never in my life assumed you would try to make a move on someone who’s openly a lesbian but thanks I guess

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

When you say ”grab a drink” please say you meant going to a bar I’d like to see you drunk

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Well. I guess I was right. Matteo did figure it out in the most unpredictable way.

102 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

My childhood rival included a Phineas and Ferb reference in her latest fic I’m so proud <3

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Stop reading my fanfictions

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

You know fully well you update them only because of me 😘 Your little notes saying ”I know a certain someone who will like this chapter” is def for me

Also the fact that a character climbed through a window in one of them? Please you got that from real life experiences

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

What is happening between you two??

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Phineas and Ferb is what’s happening.

Also Vilu, please read chapter 43 of Ludmila’s 170 chapters fic, I am pretty sure she based that from you.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

It’s just two best friends who everyone is sure is in love but they haven’t realized it themselves??

I don’t get it.

15 notes

[rhaemaya-valwynn]

Meet my JJBA OC- Synth!

Meet my gremlin! (art done by @ahoge-fish​)

This is my OC Synth! I made her back when i was 13 years old (27 as of this post, going on 28 soonish) So I’ve had her for more than half my life! She has her own original story with its own lore, so for my JJBA Fanfic I’m working on, I smashed the two worlds together and blended their lore till well mixed.

One thing you need to know about Synth is that she doesn’t come from the JoJo universe! She’s a reality traveler! Synth is in the middle of a terrible war which is spreading across the multiverse and she is trying to stop it. That means finding answers and power to push and hold her foe back. Could that mean that Stands hold the answer she’s looking for? Possibly! Its quite funny, but, she doesn’t have a Stand at all! She has a sister power to Stands which lets her interact and see them. Will I tell you what that is here? Nope! That’s for you to find out! Synth was made be alien’s who wanted to hurt people. She was built to think and learn, but knowing how dangerous that was they built her with a ‘open memory’ program, meaning they could change her thoughts and feelings on the fly to ensure zealotry to their cause. The problem that occurred for her creators is that, she woke up before they realized it and dismantled most of the program and prevented them from manipulating her and turning her off, so when she was launched at Earth for a ‘prototype test run’ she woke up and realized what they wanted her to do was wrong and sided with the humans instead.

Sadly another foe came into the picture as she wasn’t the only prototype sent out. What’s the foe? You’ll find out in the fanfic!

Synth’s ultimate dream is to be completely human, hence why her latest model looks exactly like a human, though her outfit for her part 3 entrance looks like:

pure gremlin energy

(credit goes to @ubetar0​)

Does this mean she’s the 6th member of the Stardust Crusaders before Iggy joins making it 7? Yeah.... Is that done a million times over? Yeah.... Am I gonna do it still? YEAH...!

Some basic info on Synth: Birthplace: Kep'lun 7 Favorite sport: Herculean Barrage (GIANT alien bugs that wrestle, pretty cool right?) Profession: Founder and leader of the Intergalactic Syndicate Accord (ISA) and war machine against ???? Distinguishing marks: Bright neon blue hair and eyes Favorite food: probably something sweet like sorbet Zodiac sign: Leo Blood type: Negative B-26 (type of liquid that carries her power current through her body) Height:  162cm - 5ft 4in Education: Alien artificial intelligence (Smart-duh) Family: Z'Bane-creator of her body and mind ???- creator of her soul Eye color: Neon blue Hobbies: Singing and exploring different planets/realities Favorite Artist/Musician: most artists, though her favorite type of music is Synthwave (get the pun?) Favorite movie: Spiderman into the Spiderverse Favorite color: Blue Personality: Vibrant and full of life, Synth hides her crippling depression behind a wall of false happiness. In truth, she plays the role of a cruel ???, while in reality, she loves and cares so much that she spends most of her alone time weeping over the things she's been forced to do and the lives she's lost, lamenting her failures. When traveling to other realities, away from her war, she acts as she would want to be like back in her home realm, someone who she always wanted to be away from prying eyes. Favorite type of partner: Being Bi, Synth wants someone who is honest and blunt but intelligent and able to quip back at her without fear. Someone that treats her as anyone else. Loyalty is few and far between, so having someone she can depend on is also a must, as she wants to bear her heart to whoever loves her honestly. ??? owned: ????

Due to Synth’s mysterious sister power to Stands, Stand’s begin acting even stranger than usual, which leads into quite a story, I wonder what it could be?

Also given that Synth is pun filled and humorous to a fault, her and Jotaro go at each others throats quite often.

So who did I end up shipping together?

(credit goes to @ubetar0​)

YEAH, I KNOW. FIGHT ME. (credit goes to @ubetar0​)

Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you for your time and for looking at my baby! This is a starter post before I begin to go off the deep end with her and talking everyone’s ears off.

For the full sized image used in the first picture by Ahoge is Synth’s part 6 outfit/her casual wear in her reality:

Thanks again for reading!

[curlymacandcheese]

SHATTER ME TRILOGY REVIEW-

2/5 stars…

Almost every review of this series that I have seen raves about how amazing it is. I have to disagree. For some context, here is the plot summary of book one:

“Juliette hasn’t touched anyone in exactly 264 days.

The last time she did, it was an accident, but The Reestablishment locked her up for murder. No one knows why Juliette’s touch is fatal. As long as she doesn’t hurt anyone else, no one really cares. The world is too busy crumbling to pieces to pay attention to a 17-year-old girl. Diseases are destroying the population, food is hard to find, birds don’t fly anymore, and the clouds are the wrong color.

The Reestablishment said their way was the only way to fix things, so they threw Juliette in a cell. Now so many people are dead that the survivors are whispering war – and The Reestablishment has changed its mind. Maybe Juliette is more than a tortured soul stuffed into a poisonous body. Maybe she’s exactly what they need right now.

Juliette has to make a choice: Be a weapon. Or be a warrior.”

A plot summary for books 2 and 3 really isn’t needed since the storyline is so hopelessly redundant one can barely distinguish each book from the other. Essentially, the main character Juliette is rescued from her prison by the ruggedly handsome Adam Kent. They are taken to a District 13-esque underground base by the comedic relief character, Kenji. A resistance movement against an evil government whose motives are never clearly defined is introduced, a love triangle is formed between Juliette, sexy Adam and bad guy turned good sexy Aaron (who- plot twist- is Adam's long lost brother) , our main character discovers that she’s a super powerful girl boss, she takes down the government, becomes the government….yaddah yaddah yaddah.

My main issue with this book isn’t necessarily the plot. The concept of a person who can’t touch others without killing them is intriguing. The two sexy male characters that are conveniently the only people who can touch her without dying from her powers are obnoxious, but what can we expect from a dystopian YA novel? The thing is, a lot of the issues with this book are issues typically associated with YA novels, and in most books, they can be overlooked. BUT THIS BOOK HAS SOME OF THE WORST WRITING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE.

The chapters (which vary in length, sometimes 1, 2, 3, or 15 pages long) are fraught with sad attempts at profound metaphors. Allow me to provide you with a few examples:

“Raindrops are my only reminder that clouds have a heartbeat. That I have one, too.”

I've never heard about clouds with a heartbeat, but whatever makes you happy I guess.

“I only know now that the scientists are wrong.

The world is flat.

I know because I was tossed right off the edge and I've been trying to hold on for 17 years. I've been trying to climb back up for 17 years but it's nearly impossible to beat gravity when no one is willing to give you a hand.”

I think we can all agree that this metaphor could've been made without the declaration that the world is flat, but that line will definitely cause the reader to do a double take!

“I am nothing but novocaine. I am numb, a world of nothing, all feeling and emotion gone forever.  I am a whisper that never was.”

.....this speaks for itself. or maybe it doesn't speak, since it's novocaine.

“Every butterfly in the world has migrated to my stomach.”

this imagery both disturbs and confuses me

"My eyes are 2 professional pickpockets, stealing everything to store away in my mind."

quick writing lesson: when a number is less than ten, you write it out in word form!! also what. just what.

"They want to delete every point of punctuation in my life from this earth."

“And we are quotation marks, inverted and upside down, clinging to one another at the end of this life sentence. Trapped by lives we did not choose.”

punctuation metaphors are really a theme here. quite possibly the only theme of this series.

"My mouth is sitting on my kneecaps."

"My jaw is dangling from my shoelace."

"My eyelashes trip into my eyebrows; my jaw drops into my lap."

There are so many other normal ways to just say she was surprised! I simply cannot understand the thought process behind these absurd sentences.

"My stomach is a flimsy crepe, my heart is a raging woodpecker, my blood is a river of anxiety."

"I crumble to the floor, folding into myself like a flimsy crepe."

The fact that a crepe metaphor was used at all, let alone twice in one book, is completely bizarre.

[…]his lips his lips his lips are 2 pieces of frustration forged together.”

This pattern of crossing out and repeating phrases is repeated several times throughout each chapter, and it is sooooo irritating.

To conclude, this book series gave me the same vibes as most soap operas: terrible quality, the plot is filled with intrusive twists that make no logical sense, and the characters have about as much depth as a puddle.

I will admit that I was entertained by this series, hence the two stars instead of one. But I was entertained in the same way a train wreck might be entertaining. This series is so bad it's hilarious. The fact that someone wrote this, reread it, thought it was decent, an editor read this, also thought it was decent, and then had it published is so strange to me.

If you are the type of reader who enjoys plots that aren't thought out whatsoever, if you can stomach the cringiest of writing phrases, if you are okay with the most muddled and rushed endings ever, and if you enjoy the most cliche events possible , you may be able to enjoy this series. Or maybe you can enjoy it while seeing it for the ridiculousness it is. However, if you read this and think that you have walked away with some profound and thought provoking quotes like a majority of people on the internet seem to think, please reevaluate. Expand your reading horizons. Try some classic literature. Or something.

anyways this is not as harsh as it sounds, please don't be offended if you are a huge fan, just my opinion. :)

[consult-sherlockholmes]

I posted 3,242 times in 2022

That's 3,242 more posts than 2021!

1,215 posts created (37%)

2,027 posts reblogged (63%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@consultjohnwatson

@atamh

@myeyesblurry

@anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek

I tagged 2,826 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#roleplay - 2,329 posts

#sherlock roleplay - 2,128 posts

#rp - 2,097 posts

#sherlock rp - 1,688 posts

#sherlock - 1,668 posts

#johnlock roleplay - 1,647 posts

#bbc sherlock - 1,602 posts

#sherlock holmes - 1,574 posts

#john watson - 1,406 posts

#sherlock bbc - 1,382 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i still did nothing wrong but people tend to disregard other people for such things thats why i dont want you to go around telling everyone

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

As everyone keeps doubting that I can actually cook, here it is.

And the bacon is vegan, as fried pork products can contain carcinogens like nitrosamines, polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons and heterocyclic amines, and I do not want John to consume such toxins and potentially shorten his lifespan that way.

The whole flat might have been filled with smoke after I finished cooking and the kitchen in disarray, but I still prepared a fine meal, which is the thing that actually counts with cooking.

117 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

#4

I've got a leg now! And I'm keeping their heart! This ones the first girl I've killed, 35 years old! Dont know her job!

-Murderous Anonymous

Good for you that you have a heart now, because you probably weren't in possession of one before. A thing I also regularly get accussed of, but who cares. So your prefered victims are males? Why? Any particular reason for that? @di-greglestrade we got another one. Looks like he is slowly building up to collecting a whole human consisting of different humans.

121 notes - Posted July 9, 2022

#3

How did you delete your emotions

Put all your emotions into one folder, and then right click on it and click delete. Or pull it into the recycle bin and then empty it, on older operating systems. Press Control+Alt+Delete to terminate the emotional process. Reboot the system and it should be cleaned from all emotions. Installing an emotional firewall can help to prevent another emotional infection. If corrupted data of emotions remain, you need to do a hard reset of your system. But all data will be lost during that process, so treat this as a last resort with caution.

167 notes - Posted May 11, 2022

#2

What's your favorite poison and why?

Finally an interesting question. There are many answers to this, depending on the used definition of poison and for what it would be intended for. Whether I find a poison interesting enough is mostly determined by how fascinating it’s biochemical mechanisms are, but also if it’s nondetectable and rare, how clever it would be in a murder. 

Some more common poisons can have very fascinating biochemical properties like cyanide, which inhibits enzymes neccessary for aerobic respiration and suffocating a person on a cellular level. But they are more commonly used in murders, making them more easily traceable, less creative and thus less interesting then. Just obvious. I prefer rarer poisons, less obvious. The more cunning and sophisticated, the better. Toxins which you can barely detect, unless you know what you are looking for, but most people are idiots and won’t think about it. Perfect murder. Unless you consult me of course.

And especially natural poisons are the most toxic, like Botulinum toxin which was used in some of my cases. Especially neurotoxins like this work in fascinating ways, Tetrodotoxin from pufferfish, shutting down nerve cell communication, slowly paralysing and shutting the body down by respiratory failure. This poison is especially cruel because the victim can still be conscious and lucid, even if they are completely paralyzed, unable to talk or move, to do nothing except to suffer and wait for death approaching. 

Another very potent and very rare poison is Polonium-210, killing by acute irradiation, no antidote and it takes days to show effects, giving the murderer enough time to get an alibi or leave the country. Of course the trail of radiation can lead to the killer if not handled correctly. Very fascinating poison, but difficult to acquire, which is why it’s only knowinlgy used by secret services, but there might be more cases where it was never detected. As you can see it’s difficult to pick favourites with such diverse acting mechanisms of poisons and their interesting ways to kill.  

However, if you meant favourite poison in a more recreational way, then my clear answer is cocaine. Which also has cardiotoxic effects so it can be used as a poison resulting in overdoses, but it’s subjective personal effects are much better than to use it to kill someone, I assure. A more poisonous drug would be fentanyl, very strong opioid resulting in respiratory depression, 120 times stronger than morphine, difficult to dosage. Though I prefer morphine for personal use. But even nicotine can be considered a poison if overdosed. But it’s all just subjective defintions, to quote Paracelsus  “What is there that is not poison? All things are poison and nothing is without poison.”

251 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Slay

Oh, I wish. I would love a slaying for a case right now.

278 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[soniccrazygal]

Will this turn out to be sweet or trauma we will have to see... *Evil laughter noises*

"Nothing...." Michael flocked on the Uncomfortable bed. "Where's Charlie?" Elizabeth's face scrunched up Michael was deflecting. "She is surveying the perimeter. She doesn't want another foxy to get into the building.." Elizabeth flopped down next to Michael looking at him. "Michael I'm 13 years old! I'm your sister! I've known you your whole life you can tell me whatever you want to?!" Elizabeth gave him her best puppy dog eyes hoping that Michael would open up she always hated when he acted like she couldn't handle the truth. "Just a girl in the lobby... asked about the mask make me think about stuff.." Michael looked away she knew that under the mask he had the same old Serious stuffs going on and I can't tell Elizabeth's face.. "Michael how long are you planning to wear that thing?" She tapped against the plastic mask. She knew he probably looked scary, like The dead body In the picture that lee Would show off to all the girls in the group home.. But she wanted to see her brother's face again. She was already missing his goofy smile.. "If I could glue it to my face I would..." Elizabeth wanted to hug him but he didn't know if he wanted her to do that..

"You're still glowing..." Michael said he wanted off of this subject. "Yes I'm a freak of nature too you don't have to be so worried about it..." Elizabeth rolled her eyes She knew that her thing was different from Michael but she didn't understand why he was acting like This! sure decaying was probably terrible.. and they had been through so much but this was out of character. "If anyone ever tells you that I'll punch them in the face" Michael said with dead seriousness. Elizabeth burst out laughing. "You can't keep punching people in the face just because they're jerks to me Michael that's what goddess kicked out of the Foster home in Kansas!" Elizabeth shoved him but he didn't laugh.. The joke died on her tongue

.

(It looks like some was lost but we’ll go with it.)

“Seriously though… what’s wrong?” Elizabeth sighed and asked. “Is it the whole… slowly turning purple thing? Because I don’t care what you look like. You are and always will be my brother.”

[kim-poce]

13. No God In Town: Poison

In hiatus

On Patreon (two weeks earlier release)

First | Previous | Next | Masterlist

The wooden house was about the size of my cabin, maybe a bit smaller. Apart from the empty bottles on the table, it was all neatly clean and organized, I couldn’t pay attention to the detail, though, the world was moving slowly, and blurry, and there was fog and emotions in my mind. Even my core was weird as if I had given it a weak poison.

I should’ve been more careful. The moment the couchwoman suggested it I knew how things would turn. I am centuries old, I know what my body can take and what it can not, and yet I was reckless and inconsequential. But I was angry and grumpy and-

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath, head resting on the table. I was playing with my fingers, there were only five of them, all in the wrong length, but seeing them move on my will was oddly entertaining.

“Fuck? That’s new!” the couchwoman said, I looked up at her smirk through my messy human hair, was she always this big? Or am I just looking from the wrong height? “I didn’t know you could curse.”

“Why? Because I’m a god and I shouldn’t use such… such… fuck… immoral words? I’m not god! I can curse! Not curse like, the the opposite of blessing, I mean I can curse but I’m not talking about curse curse only curse the words and- I’m not god,” I tried to say it in a firm and even tone, but the words tripped on each other and left my mouth barely understandable.

“I know, I know,” the couchwoman said, pouring me another shot of the brownish clear liquid. “You just didn’t click me as the cursing type. Have you met such bad influences?”

I swallowed down the alcoholic thing whose name I didn’t even know. I recalled the arrogant guard with his ‘you know she is bad on sight’ talk about the cursing cub, and understood more why she cursed at them so much. I wanted to curse him too, I hope he got all drenched and caught a cold that day for what he said. I was also mad at the cub but that was a different matter altogether.

“And who… who gets to decide that she is a bad influence? Who he… he thinks he is? He comes to my cabin and talks about my guest. How dare he? I should’ve made snow, or or hail. Hail would hurt the animals, though, they didn’t do anything. Do you think the animals got cold? They were just there, it’s not their fault.”

“You are not making sense, very-human-guy,” the couchwoman drank her own shot, “Who would have guessed you are so weak to alcohol? This sure is a sight to behold.”

I rested my head on the table again, it had been a while since I last was drunk, and now I recalled why I had avoided it for so many years. “I can solve it,” I admitted, “I can sober up if I want to.”

“But you don’t want to, do you? That’s okay, very-human-guy, people should be drunk from time to time. It’s good for the heart.”

I’m no person. I closed my eyes, I was getting really sleepy, maybe I should truly sober up.

“I got no heart,” I corrected.

“It’s good for the emotional heart,” she shrugged. “And I was surprised when you accepted my invitation. You are even paying for it, thank you very-human-guy.”

I looked up at her, she was so normal, “Why aren’t you drunk? It's unfair.”

“You are grumpier than usual, aren’t you?” she laughed. Humans have a good laugh, it’s good to hear. They are happy and doing their thing, and I’m just watching from sideways, that’s how things should be.

“I’m sleepy,” I said. “It’s the wrong time to be sleepy. It’s too early.”

“Either you control your body or you get drunk, you can’t do both,” she said, and she kept saying something blurry.

I noticed I didn’t know what time it was anymore, I felt so lost. As if I was standing in a never-ending pitch-black place, where time was meaningless. I should just sober up already, just–

— —

I woke up. I don’t know what time it was but the sky was dark and it starred. “They are up,” the clubbing cub said, looking down at me. I blinked trying to understand the situation.

“They reek of alcohol!” the flower cub exclaimed. “I’ll prepare them a bath.”

“Now they wake up,” the couchwoman clicked her tongue, “After I carried them all the way up here.”

“You are really strong,” the mint cub said in awe.

“That’s a given,” the couchwoman said proudly. “I didn’t know they got children, or cubs, however they call you lot.”

“It just kinda happened,” the cursing cub explained. “Can you keep it a secret? There would be so many fucking problems otherwise.”

“I didn’t carry them all the way here to break our friendship in such an idiotic way, lady. But I got a favor to ask. The way down the mountain is really hard, and I’m somewhat drunk myself. So I was thinking of sleeping over.”

“What do you think, Biggie?” the clapping cub asked, waving his hand in front of my face. “Can we let her sleep here?”

Now you ask if I allow people in! When you bring a follower every dawn you don’t think asking it’s important.

I nodded anyway and noticed I wasn’t in my human form anymore. Was that the reason the couchwoman brought me here? Because she didn’t want people to see my real form back in town? I did threaten her about letting people know my identity.

The humans talked more about who would sleep where as the flower cub dragged me to the bathtub (well, she isn’t strong enough to drag me so she just led me there) and dropped me into the water.

“Get clean, Biggie, I’ll get you some clothes,” she sighed like an old woman. “Don’t forget the soap.” 

I was still confused and drunk, but I didn’t want to be dirty over everything else. I decided not to sober up, it was late, and I wanted to sleep soon, which wouldn’t be possible if I take out the effect of the weak poison. By the time I was in my bed the humans outside were talking loudly.

“This bed is so comfy, how much do you want for it?” the couchwoman asked, she was sounding more like a drunk person now.

“That depends on how much money you got,” the cursing cub answered.

“The bed isn’t yours!” the mint cub protested. “It’s Biggie’s. They made it themselves!”

“Oh? That’s an outstanding skill they got there.”

“Hey!” the flower cub yelled. “You are even dirtier than Biggie! Get out of bed!”

“That was mean~”

“Go take a bath!”

“I don’t like baths.”

“It's a bath or sleeping on the floor.”

“Thinking again, the bath is great actually,” the couchwoman laughed as the cub dragged her to the bathtub.

I closed my eyes, I would keep this talk in my memory when I left. These jovial and casual moments are what truly matter. I was still angry at the cubs, and I knew somewhere near the cabin the follower was waiting alone. I didn’t need to ask questions and try to solve it though. I was great at walking away from my problems. Yes. I thought before sleeping.  That’s a good way to spend my last day in this town.

—

@extemporary-username, @the-magpiesystem, @nexfox-art, @kathea, @wolfeyedwitch, @blu-jay-2779, @rose-pinkie, @latenightcupsofcoffee

[unseededtoast]

Antedate | Bucky Barnes

Part 1/13 | Part Two

Summary: Sometimes making the right decision feels like the wrong one. That decision can stick with you for years and leave you wondering what would happen if you had chosen something else. But the alternatives likely lead to a much darker path; you'll never know for sure though. One thing is for certain, the decisions I have made will have lasting consequences.

Prequel to Rectify

Series Warnings: Discussion of human trafficking, physical and mental abuse, mention and description of death

a/n: Hi everyone, thank you for checking this out, I appreciate any and all support! This series is also posted on Ao3 and Wattpad if you prefer those formats/platforms! This is a completed series, and it's going to take some time for me to transfer it to Tumblr, so please bear with me!

"I trust you all will make her into Hydra's most effective scientist."

Snow falls in fluffy flakes and sticks to the ground in a thick white blanket. My toes have gone numb from the cold, but I can't bring myself to care. People walk back inside as I stare at the rectangle of freshly disturbed soil. Warm teardrops trail down my face and fall from the tip of my red nose.

Someone stands beside me, tucking their hands into their pockets. I bite my lip to keep from saying anything out of line and swallow the lump in my throat. The man beside me sighs, 

"Happens to us all at some point." The man pats my shoulder a few times as he leaves. The snow crunches under his footsteps as he retreats back into the building. I stand alone in the freezing temperatures. I don't want to go back in there. 

I kneel on the ground and place my fingertips on the cold dirt. A few more tears fall as I try to find the words I want to say. I sniffle and look to the sky, the grey clouds are causing a gloomy overcast. I clear my throat,

"Thank you for everything you've done, you were too good for this place. I'll always love you, mom. Rest easy." I whisper and stand up. I wipe my eyes of tears and take a few deep breaths. I know better than to walk in there crying. 

I gain my composure and walk back into the building. One of the guards opens the door for me and I give him a curt nod. The inside lights are fluorescent, the concrete dull and cold. Home sweet home. I set my jaw tightly and keep my head held high as I walk back to my room. 

As usual, the hallway is guarded by agents. I wish they weren't here, I'd like to have just one place where I can get away from everything. But after mom dying, I bet the security measures will only increase. I focus on the end of the hall, not making any sort of contact with the guards as I walk quickly to my door and open it. 

As it shuts behind me I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. I relax and take my coat off, hanging it on the hook next to the door. I rub my hands together quickly to try and create some heat, my fingertips had turned blue from being out in the cold for so long. I turn to sit on my bed so I can undo my boots, but jump as I see my father sitting on the edge. What is he doing here?

I fix my posture and squints his eyes at me. I feel tension in the air and prepare myself to be reprimanded for something. I wonder what he'll choose to belittle me over today. My father's eyes scrutinize me, looking up and down. Suddenly, he stands from the bed and walks right in front of me. I tilt my head back to make eye contact with him. 

"You were quite an embarrassment out there, Adalyn. I expected you to hold yourself together. Remember what I said about being dignified. You're thirteen years old now, act like it. You're no longer a child. Remember, your training begins tomorrow and I expect you will not disappoint." He says and walks out of the room without another word. I stand still until I hear the door shut.

I unlace my boots and place them in their proper spot by the door. I look around my room and feel like something is missing, something is gone. I stare at the rundown, empty armchair by a small bookcase that mom used to read to me in. Something is gone alright.

I walk over and sit in the chair. The old fabric is torn in some places and the cushion sinks down in the middle, but it's the most comforting chair I've ever been in. I lean my head against the back cushion and run my hand over the material. It reminds me of her. 

My mind drifts off and I remember all the times she would read to me in this chair. When I was really little, she would hold me in her lap as she read me old stories. My favorite was always about the boy who was kidnapped by a wicked witch, but was saved by the brave and kind girl. She always finished that story by telling me that evil people will never prevail, and that we have a choice and duty to choose kindness and mercy. I never could understand how she ended up with my father. I don't know if I ever will. 

I choose to sleep in the chair for the night, and spend my last conscious thoughts reminiscing the sweet memories I have of her. Now that she's gone, there is no light in this place. There is no humanity. I know that since she's no longer here, there will be a power struggle. After all, someone has to take her spot and assume her duties. She was the second most powerful person in Hydra, and that position won't go unfilled for long. 

The morning comes too soon. The overhead alarm wakes me up from my uncomfortable sleep and I rub the soreness in my neck. I take a few moments to wake up and prepare my mind for the day. My father is making me start my specialty training today, he says I'm ready for it but I have my doubts. I only just took the placement test a few weeks ago and I've never seen them place the other children this quickly. 

I put on the clothes my father had picked out for me to wear. He said this first impression is vital, and that I must look properly put together. The last thing I want to do today is bring dishonor to my father. I take the time to make sure my hair is placed perfectly and out of my face. I put my shoes on and look over myself one more time to make sure everything is how it's supposed to be. 

I take a deep breath and fix my posture before I open the door. I keep my head held high as I walk down the cold hallway and to the science lab. My shoes echo through the hall and I stop in the doorway of the lab once I get there. It would be out of place for me to just walk in. 

I see my father already talking to one of the scientists and his eyes light up as he sees me. He smiles and alerts everyone, 

"Everyone, this is my daughter, Adalyn. I assure you that she is brilliant and you will have no trouble out of her. I trust you all will make her into Hydra's most effective scientist." He says, threatening the people with an overly cheerful tone. What he actually told them was to make sure I surpass their abilities or they'll lose their job, perhaps even their life. I watch as the scientists all nod their heads with wide smiles. They're all terrified. 

"Of course, Mr. Averina." The lead scientist steps forward and gives my father a courteous head bow. My father pats my shoulder and heads out of the room, leaving me with everyone. I've seen them all before, but I don't actually know any of them. I know they all know me, it's hard to find a person who doesn't know me in this place. 

"Miss Averina, let us start by showing you around." The man says and motions for me to follow him. Sticking to my father's orders, I nod my head and follow the man wordlessly and without emotion. I am to remain as professional and formal as possible at all times. 

The man shows me around the vast laboratory, pointing out different machines and what they do. It's all very fascinating to me. I watch as some scientists continue their work, putting fluids into clear glass beakers and looking at specimens under the microscope. I wonder what they're working on?

The man stops in front of a door that has the words "No Entry" plastered in bright red font across it. He points at the door and makes eye contact with me,

"Do not enter this room under any circumstances." His tone is not the cheerful one he had kept throughout the tour. I nod my head, curious about what's in there. The man clears his throat and shows me to an empty table. 

"This is where you will be conducting your work. You'll be training with us for a while before we let you go on your own." He says. 

"What exactly am I training for?" I ask. Nobody has told me what I'm going to be specializing in, just that I had been placed within the science division. The lead scientist scratches the back of his head and I notice some others pause their work to listen in. 

"You will be focusing on our neuroscience studies." I nod my head. Not exactly what I was hoping for, but, I guess I can't complain. I could've been placed in the soldier division.

Day after day I report for my duties, learning a little more each day. The days blur together, it feels like I'm trapped in a time loop. The scientist I'm training under, Leopold, is friendly enough, but there's something unsettling about him. Something sinister. 

Today he's teaching me more about the structures of the brain. He says that in order for me to be effective in this field, I have to understand this stuff like the back of my hand. And so I will. I pay close attention and take detailed notes as he points at different images on the page. I find it quite easy to remember this information, perhaps because it's fascinating to me. 

Every day after we're done in the laboratory I go back to my room and study. My father made it quite clear to me that I am to excel in this field. He mentioned something about a special project that he wants me to take control of once I'm ready. Maybe that's why Leopold is strange, he knows my father plans on replacing him with me in a few years.

"And the hippocampus, this one right here, stores the memories." Leopold says and points to a small image on the page. I nod and quickly scribble down what he says. I look up to him once I'm done writing and he shuts the book. He takes a seat on the edge of the table and cracks his knuckles. I scrunch my eyebrows together, what is he doing?

"Tomorrow you will be tested on this. If you pass you move on to the next lesson. If you fail we have to start over. You are free to go study, we're done for the day." I nod and close the book I take notes in. As I leave the laboratory I take quick glances to see what the others are doing. 

I notice on one of the tables that there is a brain floating in a glass. It startles me, seeing a brain just casually on display. I don't even want to begin pondering where they got it. I leave the lab and head to my father's office to tell him Leopold let me go early today. The last thing I need is my father reprimanding me for not telling him. 

I knock on my father's office door and he opens it. He looks down at me and steps away so I can enter. He takes his seat behind the desk and I stand in front of it.

"Leopold released me early today, he says I should study for the test tomorrow. I will pass it." I tell my father and he nods. 

"I expect nothing less from you. The quicker you master the information the quicker we can be rid of Leopold. He's done nothing for us. He's only here because his father was a genius. But I think it's time the Zola bloodline ends." I nod shortly. It makes my skin crawl to think that I will be responsible for Leopold's demise. My father dismisses me and I go back to my room, where I study for the rest of the night. 

[justkenz]

I (20F) think my girlfriend (19F) is gonna break up with me

Some background information before I start: I (20F) have been dating my current girlfriend (19F) for 5,5 months now. She is autistic and I have C-PTSD. She knows what has happened to me in the past, but can be forgetful at times due to overstimulation. We both a kpop coverists and dance together.

Yesterday my 13 year old cat crossed the rainbow bridge suddenly. I was the one that found him and I had to get him wrapped in a towel. I gave him to my younger sister and dad, they took him to the vet. Apparently he had an embolism which paralysed him from the waist down and the vet told us that we could give him treatment, but there was a small change he would make it and the risk of another embolism was very high. The choice was very clear, but all of a sudden our cat was gone. This cat wasn't just any other cat to me, this cat has helped me a lot through my panic attacks, depressive episodes, etc. My girlfriend knows this.

We had a filming session scheduled for a new cover we were going to make and I didn't cancel it. I did let everyone know what was going on and that I wasn't feeling well and I was not in the best mood. We were in a group of 6 for this cover.

A lot of things went wrong; it was cold, people were late, some people all of a sudden needed to be home early (we are all adults ranging between 19F-22F) and the original location we wanted to film at was occupied. I was the one communicating with the group and a lot of responsibilities fell on my shoulder, which I did not want to handle and I communicated that quite harshly to the rest, but in the end I needed to take care of a lot of things.

I made a new filming schedule (from filming 3 hours to filming the cover under an hour) and chose a new location with our camera man (without her I couldn't do it). When I send it over nobody responded and left me waiting. I waited over 30 minutes in the cold and the first thing I heard was someone complain about the location. Nobody checked in with me if I was fine, except for our camera man. During the whole filming session more things went wrong and I got very agitated, but I kept it to myself. I did not want to start a fight in the middle of filming, I just wanted to finish this project. More things happened, like me falling down hard on the ground which broke my necklace and some people complained about that too due to the continuity of filming, since it's obvious we didn't do it in 1 take (which we never claimed to do anyways).

After filming my girlfriend said to me she wanted to have a chat alone, but I walked away since I was super angry. She then grabbed me by the wrist and said she was very pissed off at me for the way I talked to her in our group chat. I tried to stay calm and walk it off instead of diving into the conversation, but when I saw them whispering and looking at me I snapped.

I ran after them (they were walking and ignoring me) and I burst through their crowd and confronted my girlfriend. I was yelling in public about everything I had to deal with today. At some point she grabbed my wrist again, which is something you shouldn't do (it's a trigger) so I pushed her off. Her friends thought I was going to attack her so they all grabbed me and I tried to fight them off (only by getting myself loose, I did not hit a single person. Just tried to shake them off), but they all yelled at me and said I was aggressive and that I shouldn't hurt her, etc. It triggered me even more, which made me say very harsh things to my girlfriend and at some point she thought I was going to break up with her. I did not do it and told her I would never do that, hut I did not want to see her again because I was (and still kind off am) angry at her.

During the conversation she said that A. She thought I was going to cancel and B. She understood what I was going through. I told her she didn't understand it, that she will never understand it and that she shouldn't pretend to understand what I'm going through. That throughout the day not 1 person except for the camera man checked in on me or showed me sympathy and that from her I know I can't get it due to her autism (which is a very ableist thing to say). After my rant I walked away and tried to calm down.

I texted her multiple times to show her more of my perspective and when I fully calmed down I sent her a very long message where I fully explained what I was going through that day and an apology for some of the things that I said.

Now she isn't responding anymore and I don't know what to do. These friends never liked me anyways and they always have had a big influence on her and after my outburst I'm afraid that they are going to convince her (and her mom as well) to break up with me.

Hey, I’m really sorry for your loss🤍 and I hope you are doing okay! That sounds like a really brutal day and a lot happened that would be really hard to keep it together.

I’m not sure if something like this has ever happened in the past, but it sounds like you had a really rough day, really needed someone to understand that and at least be mindful of the fact that you were struggling. I think there were a lot of things that just kept adding to your already full cup and eventually it all just came spilling out.

I’m not saying that’s an excuse for saying or doing harsh things, but it’s just saying that there were things that clearly led to this one incident.

I’m really sorry that she grabbed you, I’m assuming that you’ve talked to her before about things that trigger you, so if that’s the case that’s really not cool.

She might just need some time to process and cool down from that, and to be honest it is probably good for you to take some time too. I think after a few days you both should try talking and just hearing what each other has to say.

I know it can be scary when you are unsure if what is going on since she isn’t answering, but depending on your relationship, I think she is likely just taking some time to process and hopefully will reach out to you soon!

Take care of yourself friend!