#things wrong with her. i want another 13 year old to know people care about her so she won’t want to die because no one respects her | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

all-about-kyu · 1 year ago

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Summary: You were so close, but some things aren’t meant to be. Pairing: bunny!Jaemin x fem human!reader Tropes: established relationship au, hybrid au Genre: angst, a little fluff Rating: PG 13 Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of surgery, severe cramping, blood, language miscarriages, lots of crying Word Count: 3,398 Note: Everyone can blame @raibebe for this

Neo Hybridverse Masterlist || Cashmere Lop!Jaemin Masterlist

Jaemin has expressed for years now that he wants multiple kids. You tried so hard for so long to have Miyoung, and she’s more than you could ever ask for. She’s ten months old now and lights up your entire world daily. Her oversized tan floppy ears continuously fall in her face wherever she crawls off to. You giggle slightly each time you hear her make a little annoyed noise. Jaemin is at work right now, so it’s just you and Miyoung at home until late this evening.

In reality, it’s you, Miyoung, and the tiny unborn baby you just learned about. Most people would be scared or nervous about having two kids so close in age. After all, by the time this baby is born, Miyoung will only be a year and a half old. You aren’t worried about it at all. If you’re being completely honest, you’re rather excited. Jaemin told you not too long ago that he wanted another one already. You can’t blame him, even with your daughter so young. You wanted another one already, too. Once you saw those two little pink lines on three different tests, it was evident that you and your husband got your wish. This time, instead of telling him about your pregnancy, you just left the tests out and decided to let his nose do the work. As if on cue, the front door of your home pops open and shut again. Your eyebrows furrow, knowing Jaemin shouldn’t be home long after you put Miyoung to bed. Though, you only put your daughter to bed half an hour ago. You hear your husband sigh, followed by footsteps approaching you.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he says, voice laced with exhaustion.

“Hey,” you start, turning around to wrap your arms around him, “I thought you weren’t supposed to be home until eleven.”

“Supervisor cut my shift short.”

His voice sounds exhausted but not as usual after a long day at work. It borders on sounding depressed rather than tired. You search his face for any hints as to why he’s feeling the way he is. Nothing seems to give it away, though.

“Did something happen?” you ask gently.

Jaemin worries on his lower lip, “I lost a patient in surgery today.” he admits, “The little premature puppy baby. I was trying so hard to get him to a state where he could go home with his parents and-”

“Jaemin,” you speak in a sympathetic tone, “You did everything you could. We both know that.”

“There must have been something else I could’ve done for him. He was only a week old.”

You take your husband’s face in your hands, holding his ears out of his face. Your thumb gently wipes away a stray tear he was trying to keep in. He silently cries for a moment, and you don’t say anything. You stand there and wipe away tears as they fall. He’s always cared so deeply for his patients. It tears him apart when he loses one, especially while trying to save them. Once his tears stop, he sighs and starts to talk again.

“I just hate that his parents go home without him in their arms. It’s not-” he lets out a shaky breath, “Knowing what it’s like to lose a child, I hate that I know how much pain they’re experiencing right now.”

“I know.” you sigh, “I know. After we lost-”

You can’t bring yourself to finish your sentence. Though you never met your first baby, you know the pain of losing a child. Before you got pregnant with Miyoung, you were supposed to have another one. Jaemin was over the moon excited to have a baby finally. You’d been trying for months on end to get pregnant, so when you finally did, there was no bringing him down from his high. At around the eleven-week mark, though, something felt wrong. You were cramping like you had never known cramps before. Jaemin rushed you to your obstetrician only to discover that your child no longer has a heartbeat. After that, there was the spotting and eventually a rather heavy period that you knew was your body, removing the small life from your body. You had never known a low like that. Jaemin wasn’t doing much better than you were, either. He supported you through it all as best as he could.

You let out a shaky breath and pull away from your husband slightly.

“I’ll let you be alone for a few moments. I’m going to check on Mi and get ready for bed.” you inform him.

“I’ll be there in a few moments, my love.” he responds, voice still a bit shaky.

You walk down the hall and peer into Miyoung’s room, only to see her peacefully sleeping. She’s fast asleep on her belly, one ear over her shoulder while the other is splayed out alongside one of her arms outstretched above her head. Seeing her so peaceful comforts you in knowing you’ll at least have her. You know it’s not the time to tell Jaemin about your pregnancy, though, not with his current mental state. You sneak into your en suite bathroom and start to pick up the positive pregnancy tests.

“I thought I smelled something different.” You hear your husband’s voice.

“Jaemin I-”

He walks up to you and takes the tests from you, “You’re actually-”

“I am.” You nod, “I just found out this morning.”

A bright smile bursts across his face. Brighter than you’ve seen in a while. It’s the same smile he had when you told him about Miyoung.

“You have another little life growing in you.” he muses, placing a hand against your belly.

“I do,” you smile, tears starting to form in your eyes, “We’ll have another little one come November.”

For a few weeks, Jaemin tries to convince you to tell Miyoung already. Each time, you tell him it’s not the best idea purely because if you try to explain that to your ten-month-old, you’ll be opening a can of worms. Additionally, your daughter is brilliant and would likely pick up her father’s habit of touching your belly every chance she could reach it. Of course, that would spark multiple questions when she does it in front of someone who doesn’t know about it. The only people who you’ve told about it are Jeno and his girlfriend. They’ll be the ones to have Miyoung when it comes time for you to give birth, and you all know Jeno’s nose will quickly pick up on Jaemin’s scent embedded in you the moment he sees you.

You’ve just about hit the three-month mark of your pregnancy without a hitch. You get to go find out the gender of the baby later in the week, which Jaemin is over the moon about. He wants another little girl so desperately that you think he may manifest it into existence. Jeno said his bet is on a boy just because Jaemin wants them to be a girl so badly. As always, Haneul is currently zooming through the home while Miyoung tries to keep up with himhaving just learned to walk. You can already tell the two of them will be thick as thieves when they’re older. Aerum is fast asleep in her room. Both Jeno and his girlfriend take it as an advantage for now. Though, the moment the seven-month-old wakes, she’ll start howling. Haneul, being two, assumes that means he can howl too. Jeno has mentioned on many occasions that he’s thankful they don’t live in an apartment anymore for that reason.

You’re peacefully sitting on the couch, Jaemin’s arm resting along the back of it behind your head. Jeno and his girlfriend sit on the couch catty cornered to you. It seems as though you have their undivided attention, but you know they’re also keeping an ear out for their son who’s a walking safety hazard and their infant daughter who as of recently hasn’t been sleeping well. You have a hand resting on your belly despite there not being a visible bump yet. Something about the contact makes you feel heat burst through your chest knowing you have another little on the way.

Suddenly, you feel a sharp stab of pain through your back. It feels as though someone stuck a knife in you and dragged it around from your spine to just below your belly button. It makes you scrunch yourself into a ball and immediately Jaemin has one of his strong arms wrapped around you. It’s almost as if the four hybrids can smell the disturbance in the air. Haneul comes running into the room and tries to get your attention with small whimpering sounds. You can hear your daughter’s uneven footsteps against the floor as she approaches accompanied by small honks of frustration that she can’t get there quicker. Jeno quickly and carefully whisks Miyoung and his son into his arms.

“You go get checked out. We got Miyoung taken care of.” he informs you.

With that he takes the two little ones down the hall, you assume into his game room to distract them with his farming game. Jaemin move to kneel in front of you to try to get a read of your face. You’re very much hidden behind your hair and hands though. Jeno’s girlfriend is already grabbing Jaemin’s car keys to get everything ready by the time your husband manages to get you to the car.

“Honey,” Jaemin asks quietly, “Can you tell me what’s happening?” “It hurts.” you gasp out, “It hurts to fucking bad.”

You know Jaemin is starting to panic. He know he won’t be able to get you to walk down the stairs and out to the car, though. He picks you up and carries you. You need to see a doctor, one that isn’t him. One that can check on you and the baby. The entire drive to the hospital is a blur. All you can think about is the excruciating pain you feel in your stomach. Jaemin keeps one of his hands firmly holding yours even as you walk into the emergency room. It’s too perfect that the moment you step into the building you see Yuta’s wife walking toward the exit. She can smell something wrong too, she walks over and helps Jaemin support you despite her small stature. With her free hand she pulls out her paging device to get the first obstetrician that she could.

You don’t know how long you would’ve sat in the waiting room if it wasn’t for her. Luckily she’s here though.

You find yourself admitted to a room within the hour. Jaemin is doing his best to hide his anxious state but you can read your husband like a book. He’s terrified. You’re not doing so amazing either. They gave you some medication for the pain but still you’re not comfortable physically or emotionally. All you can do is wait for this doctor to be ready for you.

“Jaemin,” you whisper.

Your husband looks over at you. One hand still tightly locked with yours while the other hand is playing with his ear anxiously. His nose is twitching too. The only time his nose ever twitches is when he’s absolutely terrified. Last time it happened was when you were going into active labor with Miyoung.

“I’m going to use the bathroom real quick.” you inform him, “I need my hand back for a little bit.”

“Do you need help getting there or any-” he immediately starts worrying.

“I’ll be okay.” you give him a pained smile.

You should’ve let him help you. The moment you begin to pull your clothing down you see the red spots in your underwear. Your heart drops. Still, you try to contain yourself and just begin redressing. Your initial plan to let your body do what it needs before the doctor come goes out the window instantly. You slip out of the bathroom and lean back against the door facing toward your hospital bed. Jaemin looks at you with a concerned but expecting face. Yours is blank though. Spotting is never a good sign when you’re pregnant, especially after getting copious amounts of pain through your back and stomach.

“Doctor. Now.” you say flatly, looking at the floor in front of you.

“Baby, is everything-”

“Get a fucking doctor in here now, Jaemin. Is that so hard to do?” you snap.

Jaemin flinches and practically runs out to the lobby area to get someone in here who could do something. Now alone in the room you break down sobbing loudly. You couldn’t care less about who hears you right now. You know your baby isn’t alive. You should’ve known the moment you got those cramps that something’s severely wrong. That’s how your husband finds you. Curled up against the wall, sobbing into your hands.

“The obstetrician is coming.” he says softly.

He pulls you to stand up and walks with you over to the bed to sit down properly. Jaemin wraps his arms around you as you cry. You’re wetting his ear with your tears but neither of you care about that right now.

“Sweetheart, I-” he sighs, “I told them to have some mifepristone and misoprostol ready too, j- just in case.”

His voice is pained. You know those medication names all too well. If your pregnancy isn’t viable, it helps your body remove the fetus without surgery. Hearing him say those words only makes you sob harder. You know your baby isn’t with you anymore, and he does too. It’s a pain you don’t wish on anyone.

After several minutes of sobbing in your husband’s arms you slow to a sniffle. The obstetrician walks in a moment later and ushers you both toward where the ultrasound machinery is housed. You’re numb now. You can’t feel a thing emotionally. As a psychiatrist you know you’re disassociating, but maybe for right now that isn’t the worst thing.

Jaemin still holds your hand tightly, eyes brimmed with tears. You go through the motions as you move your shirt and the doctor places the cool gel against your belly. It takes mear moments for her to find the baby and confirm your worst fear. You knew it was coming, still, it’s another stab through your heart. Jaemin bursts into tears beside you, his hand letting go of yours for the first time since he returned from getting a doctor. His ears fall in his face as he looks down at his shoes.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” she says, voice laced with pity, “Would you like to know what they would’ve been had you gone to term?”

You nod silently.

“Dad?” she asks carefully.

“Yeah,” he says through sniffles, “If you could.”

“A little girl. Seems as though she would’ve been human too. There was no early development of rabbit tail or ears.”

Jaemin lets out a pained noise. You feel all your emotions rush back through you and tears stream down your face as the doctor wipes the gel from your belly. As you leave the hospital with the medication in Jaemin’s hands you feel as though you enter some sort of dissociative state again. You don’t remember getting in the car or Jaemin calling your Samoyed hybrid friend asking if they could keep Miyoung for the night. All you know is that you stay in the car and suddenly Jaemin comes back with a bag full of things Miyoung will need.

When you arrive back at the Lee household your one-year-old is anxious to see you. Jeno’s girlfriend tries to contain the two toddlers but Miyoung is practically climbing your leg when you enter her field of vision. Her long tan ears bouncing with each motion she makes. Neither of the other two adults need to ask what ended up happening. It’s evident that you and your husband have been crying. Jaemin had explained to you after your first miscarriage that he could smell when your pregnancy was no longer progressing. So when you see Jeno’s ears droop slightly, you know he knows what happened.

“Baby?” Miyoung asks when you pick her up.

“No, sweetie, no more baby.”

The sentence pains you to say but you don’t want to lie to her either. She doesn’t need to know what happened, she’s fine just knowing that mommy doesn’t have the baby anymore.

“You’re going to have a sleepover with Haneul and Aerum, okay? You get to have lots of fun while Mommy and Daddy do boring adult things.” you explain to her.

That’s all she had to hear. She squirms in your arms to get down. Jaemin leans over and kisses her cheek before you do the same and put her down. She and Haneul zoom off again, likely to cause trouble somewhere. Jaemin passes the overnight bag to Jeno, who quietly takes it.

“I’m sorry, guys. I don’t know what it’s like but-” Jeno starts.

“You’re right. You don’t.” you say curtly, “Jaemin can we leave now?”

You don’t even let your husband respond. You walk out of the home and back to the car. Jaemin lingers a moment and gives your friends an apologetic look before bidding them goodbye.

The drive home is silent. You keep your hands folded in your lap the entire time as you look out the window. You’re avoiding looking at Jaemin for now. If you look at him it’ll be the last pebble that will break the dam. The moment you pull up to your house you get out of the car and walk toward the front door, still not looking at your beloved bunny hybrid husband. Just as you reach the door though you feel Jaemin’s arms wind around you from behind.

“I know it’s hard, but don’t ignore me. Share the burden with me. It’s the least I can do as your husband and father of our children.” he says against your hair.

Again you start crying, “Child. We have one child.”

“We have three.” he states firmly, “Only one is with us physically but we have three children.”

“Why does it have to be so hard for us to-” you interrupt yourself with more tears.

You turn around in his hold and cry against his shoulder in the cool late spring night air. If anyone driving by sees you they pay you no mind and likely assume you’re a young couple sharing a romantic moment. They couldn’t be more wrong.

“And with how my pregnancy records seem to track it’ll only get harder as we get older. Jaem, we’re only 26 but I’m worried that it’ll become nearly impossible by the time were 30.”

“I know. I know.” he soothes, rubbing your back gently, “If it ends up being that we only have Miyoung with us then we’ll love her as much as we can.” he offers, “Maybe so much that she’ll want to go away for university because she’s tired of us.” he jokes slightly. “Now, you clearly need some food in your stomach and a drink of water. Let’s get inside and into more comfy close. Cuddles all night, doctor’s orders.”

Jaemin keeps his word, the moment you’re fed, hydrated, and in more comfortable clothing you’re snuggled up in your shared bed. Your head is pillowed against Jaemin’s chest and you play with his fingers absentmindedly. Your mind seems to run a mile a minute while also being completely blank.

“I love you.” you whisper so quietly it’s practically a breath.

“I love you too. Thank you for being my wife and the mother to our babies. I’m so proud of you and you’re so damn strong. Never forget that, okay?”

You nod, “Okay, I won’t.”

“I mean it,” he continues, “I don’t know how I lucked out this much but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

“Even if-”

“Nothing. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” he stops you before you could finish your thought, “I love you so much. We’ve had far too long of a day and I fully plan on cuddling you the entire night.”

“I love you too. Good night, bunnyboy.”

“Good night, my love.”

Networks: @kwritersworld @k-vanity

Tag List: @jaehunnyy @umbralhelwolf @wooyoungmybelovedhusband

#jaemin x reader #kwritersworldnet #kvanity #nct fanfic #nct x reader #nct angst #nct fluff #nct dream fanfic #nct dream x reader #nct dream angst #nct dream fluff #jaemin fanfic #jaemin fluff #jaemin angst

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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Am I the asshole for siding with my Dad and actively shit talking/giving points about things his wife is wrong for?

Using 🎸🎶 as my emojis so I don't get lost.

For context, I (17F) and my sisters (14F and 12F) have lived with divorced parents for the past almost 13 years, nearly our entire lives. Our Dad (38M) and our Mom (38F) got divorced long ago, and since both have been remarried and divorced. My dad is currently married to his third wife (37F) and things have gone to shit. They grew up together and reconnected through Facebook a while back and began to talk. Since early July, they reconnected around late June, we have; drove 40 hours to Ohio to see and meet Wife and her 3 daughters (15, 7 and 5 F), moved them down over 80 hours of back and forth with both pets and kids, lived in a small trailer house until we closed our half million dollar one, and now we live in an old 1940s house where Wife never has to work unless she wants to. My Dad provides for her and her three kids easily on his own due to owning a fraction of the company he works for, but money has been a little tight due to a lack of houses to work on and her excessive spending.

This morning was when it bubbled over. She woke him up 30 mins before he needed to have his trailer, and hour away to pick it up, and be in another city still 30 mins from there, to pick up a free dresser we do not have room for. While getting ready he was informed her two youngest did the dishes to ask for something, a habit they all have. And to be clear, they ONLY do chores to go places and do things, so the house is often trashed. My Dad boiled over after both things adding onto all the stress of caring for 8 people and only seeing his 3 kids 4 days a month, and it started a scream fight that she encouraged. She loves to rile him up and then play victim, and this time was no different. Despite being angry, he asks if she still wants to go get the dresser, and she says she won't ride with him even to talk it out or get the fifth dresser for their room. So me and my middle sister (14F, we'll call her D.) Go with. We get the trailer, get into town, and he calls to confirm the address. Rather than tell him, she plays hard to get to piss him off, and we leave instead, not getting the dresser and taking the trailer back. The entire way Dad, D and I air our grievances about the behavior of Wife and her kids, discussing habits we don't like and clarifying we aren't doing it to be mean. It turns out, she was also bitching about the laundry and how she does everything when I've only ever seen her do theirs and no other chores. My Dad offers to solve it by having his own basket for his own laundry and even cooking his own meals if that's what's bothering her. Instead, she takes off her wedding ring rather than accepting the solutions. We talks, discussing how yes, they've been through a lot, but so have we, and that doesn't excuse her behavior.

We get home and the fighting starts again rather quickly, we don't catch much before it dies out but he tries to reason with her. I paint and everyone is calm for a bit. Well, I'm sitting on my bed and the fighting starts again. D and I share a room right over the garage, where the fight was, and D drops to the floor to listen. Our Dad uses many of the points we brought up in the car, and it hits hard and rings true really. At some point Wife complains that we never talk to her, and Dad points out that she picks fights when we're here and we know what divorce sounds like and refuse to get attached. She calls him our for being married and divorced twice, and Dad gets petty and tells her he didn't have kids outside marriage. And finally she complains that we don't do anything, and my Dad points out that we're self sufficient and do everything when we're here. The fight continues, he keeps making points we all discussed on the way to and from the trailer and failed dresser retrieval, and he keeps bringing up the ring since he doesn't want to divorce again.

Anyways, its causing a rift and I haven't told anyone but my Mom that I helped supply points, but I just feel bad because I feel like I somehow made the fighting worse by mentioning all the shit she does and talks about him and us.

TLDR; Dad and new wife were fighting all day and my sister and I gave points and talked shit about what's been bothering us in the car and our Dad brought up those points in the fight.

So Tumblr, am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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casasupernovas · 1 year ago

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i know it's not just me who gets really irritated when the dw media minimises martha's arc (and the doctor's for that matter) like this. this bio is summarising the first half of the season btw.

because why does so much doctor who related media have such a great reluctance to say what the doctor is actually doing in series 3. he is using martha to get over rose. i suppose they don't say it because it sounds bad if you say using because...

if all the doctor really did that season was just be sad and martha didn't care, i would understand the dislike towards her character.

but what this little bio neglects to mention that he is the one who pursues her not the other way around. and the doctor doesn't treat her much like a friend either. and as for just coming to terms with rose's loss - the way this manifests is the real issue here. heck, if he had litey just said that, that literal line 'i'm just coming to terms with losing her', we would have had a very different season. people think martha should know this when he doesn't even tell martha he lost rose.

series 3 is forever murky because no one is being fully truthful here.

when martha uses the analogy of her friend pining over a guy who doesn't notice her, it's not the full truth of what happened between her and the doctor is it? she was being nice about it. if martha had mentioned that this guy also kissed her friend, hung around her, compared to his ex girlfriend, would be nice to her one moment then mean the next...but also didn't want to leave her either...maybe then we could have got somewhere.

it's pretty clear to me that the outside content doesn't want to dive into this because it makes the doctor look bad. it's one thing to do the timelord victorious, it's another to address the tenth doctor outwardly being bad towards his companion.

the closest we got was that 13 comic and even that didn't get it completely right.

i'm pretty sure it's why there still hasn't been a target novelisation of any martha story yet. i don't think they know how to address it yet. especially with the racial aspect, it makes them look almost comically bad. like you really had the opportunity to bring in the first female black onscreen companion of the show's then 40-something year history and you selected her to be the one to dump on? really? the worst part is that a huge chunk of the fandom, especially on this site isn't completely embarassed by this or by how they contributed to it either.

i still remember how red faced an old friend was when she showed me martha's season, and i correctly predicted before even watching the series that martha was gonna get the short end of the stick not just by the show, but by the fans too.

worst case scenario is that the general consensus is the doctor was completely justified in treating martha the way he did. now WE know from commentaries and the writers tale that the doctor indeed is in the wrong this series. but that doesn't exactly translate when you get it's own media doing this.

#doctor who #martha jones #tenth doctor #10th doctor #tenmartha

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kybelles · 11 months ago

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hi love! I'm feeling devious so for the choose violence asks, 24 and 25

HIII BABY 💞💞 i sincerely hope you don’t mind me answering everything via your ask 🥹 i just didn’t want to spam the tl with my non-stop posting!

1.the character everyone gets wrong

JOKASTE!!! 😩 sooo many times in fan creations she’s a mustache twirling villain and look i get it! she needs to go in order to lamen to be together but i don’t know why each time she needs to cheat on damen…. people can break up for other reasons yk…..

i feel like people don’t really get how much jokaste holds damen in such a high regard. the first time she talked to laurent she was full of praises for damen and yes although the majority of the reason was to taunt laurent, it was too heartfelt to be faked entirely. i find her a quite tragic character honestly. in another world she would be proud and happy to be to be damen’s queen 🙁 i wish more ppl cared about her OR stop portraying her as this cold unfeeling girlboss who was sooo sick of damen’s bs that she punished him by gleefully fucking kastor….. i really really don’t think that’s who she is. she loved damen in her own way. she was also a sentimental woman. (her last letter to damen will never make me not emotional….)

3.screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

SCREENSHOT OMG hats off to any brave soul who actually posts it….. also the collection on bad takes is so rich idk what to choose… ok i got one: so i genuinely don’t remember the details but a few years ago there was a post circulating about how laurent was actually Good All Along (yes even in book one where he drugged damen and then threw him into a rape ring and also had him whipped after intentionally setting him up 🙂 ) and it had so many likes…. i’ll never ever understand the need to whitewash book 1 laurent’s actions. like why do you even stan a controversial character if you don’t like his controversial aspects…. i really believe this is quite the disservice to such a multidimsensional character like laurent. :/

7.what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how the fandom acts about them?

hmm i wouldn’t say hate but some posts i read about auguste made me sorta dislike him 😬 idk when and where i read it but there was one post in particular that said they wish auguste would come back to life and beat the shit out of damen and i was like WOAHHH??? you want the mc (who you spent three books with) to be beaten brutally by some canon fodder?? for what crime??? i was honestly weirded out.

there’s also the fact that i genuinely HATE l*uguste (despite not being an anti shipper in general or anything! this ship just rubs me the worst way bc laurent experienced so much trauma from the way ppl made up incest rumors about him and auguste) so any interpretation (even if they aren’t written as a romantic pair intentionally) where auguste and laurent have this unhealthy codependent bond with auguste acting like a ferocious caveman to any potential romantic suitor of laurent and laurent being all meek and allowing this treatment is a big no for me. ✋ so yes even tho i don’t hate auggie boy i can’t say i care a great deal about him. sorry baby i’m sure you are just dandy.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

that damen is an unreliable narrator 😩i talked about it in my previous post!

12.the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

EGERIA THE MF QUEEN OF AKIELOS 🗣️🗣️ i actually like every member of the akielos trio (theomedes-hypermenestra-egeria) sm because their situation reminds me of turkish harem dramas. 🤭 the lack of canon information about them allows me to make various hcs and backstories and idk i just think it’s fun!

13.worst blorboficiation

JFC i’m SOOOO old i’m ANCIENT bc i have no idea what this means….. i’d be happy to answer it if you give me some clarification (hiding my face in shame)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

oh luckily i already answered it here!

17.there should be more of this type of fic/art

I’m always a huge advocate for bottomianos even though i myself shamefully haven’t made a contribution 💔 as for art i’m beyond grateful for our wonderful artists and i humbly would like to see more of the old gang! (theo, egeria, aleron, hennike etc.)

21.part of canon you think is overhyped

hmm i unfortunately can’t think of an answer for this one, i’m sorry!

24.topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

OH DEAR… so one of the first times i actively participated in the fandom i made a post about how frustrating it was to see theomedes portrayed as an absent father despite the glaring lack of canon evidence while aleron got off the hook much easier despite laurent actually confirming he was an absentee and said i think it was about the way people perceive them (theomedes=brown and toxic, aleron=white and tastefully distant) anyways, some user whom i never talked to before (and they’re still blocked to this day despite the fact i pretty much never block anyone here) said i was “making it up” and right after i blocked them after they continued talking to me in a very rude manner some asks ✨mysteriously✨ appeared in my inbox and the person who sent them called me an “illiterature white bitch” who made up nonexistent drama…….. so yes i guess the colorism issue really ruffles some people’s feathers :) i wonder why :)

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

“why didn’t damen figure out the regent’s abuse of laurent sooner is he stupid” setting aside the 574619 different pacat interviews where she talks about how damen needed to be oblivious bc otherwise laurent would never open up to him, why is it so wild to think damen wouldn’t assume the regent would do something like that to his own nephew? as if the entire canon events didn’t happen bc damen believed families would never hurt each other…. just wow

#tysm to everyone who was kind enough to send me a number! 💞 this was honestly so fun #idk if a disclaimer is needed but i hope it's clear i didn't target anyone in particular!#these are just some of the takes i saw repeatedly #captive prince

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foxymoxynoona · 12 days ago

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miss foxy

im so sorry for this but i just don’t know who else to talk to. im so ashamed and i cant even talk to my best friend about this bc this is too humiliating. i can’t stop the tears. im not expecting any advice here, i just need to get this off my chest.

i just got off the phone with my brother. said he was in big trouble.

turns out he cheated on his wife two years ago… with a 21 year old. my brother was 33 at the time. it was her student, he was a professor

now he’s in big trouble bc the the girl’s fiancé found out about it and now he’s threatening my brother. the fiancé is a cop. he’s been calling my brother non stop.

im so scared for my life and my family. what if the fiancé hurts us?

but what hurts me the most is… my brother going after a 21 year old. his own student. there’s so many things wrong with that. i even called him a predator on the phone. i got so hysterics because i just couldn’t believe my brother would do this.

the cheating alone was bad, but had he cheated with someone HIS OWN AGE i probably would have forgiven him at some point and wouldn’t be this hurt because his marriage had been on the rocks way before that (his wife had fallen out of love with him not long after their wedding, but that’s another story altogether that involves my mother). i know that’s no excuse, but it doesn’t change the fact that the cheating wouldn’t have made their marriage worse.

it’s him doing it with a 21 year old. His student.

he’s exactly the kind of monster ive always loathed. my own brother. i looked up to him all my life. he gave up his opportunity for a masters degree abroad to stay here and take care of us when my dad died 13 years ago. he broke his back to make sure we didn’t go hungry bc my mother is a SAHM. he made sure all of us went to college. he took care of everything. he paid for everything.

but now… now the way i see him has changed completely.

and i just don’t know what to do. i just don’t know what to think.

im just so torn. on the one hand im scared also for my brother’s life and reputation (bc he said it’s more likely for the fiancé to hurt my brother’s reputation than our lives or his life), but on the other hand im like… you deserve that. and that’s not even the worst thing you deserve.

my morals are warring with my love for my brother. i just… i just can’t look at him the same anymore. i’ll always see him as a predator from now on. but on the other hand, should i help him get out of this situation? or should i leave him to deal with it all alone? bc i fucking doubt his wife would want to help him. his wife had checked out of their marriage a long long time ago. my brother even said that when his wife found out about the cheating a year ago, she didn’t even react.

im sorry. you don’t need to respond to this. i just truly needed an open ear to pour this all out to. and im sorry you happened to be the unlucky ear.

just. why couldn’t he have cheated with someone his own age.

why did he have to be a predator

i always warn my female friends against men like him. i just never thought my own brother would be one of them

I'm so sorry to hear you and your family are going through this. It's so difficult to reconcile the behaviors of people we love. There's just no good or easy answer, no playbook on what to do, because you have to just do what feels best to you with the knowledge that he's put you in a position where probably nothing will feel "good" or right, because you can't go back in time. I hope in time he can reconsider his actions and you at least get the peace of mind of seeing introspection and regret and an attempt to make amends, but even in that instance it's up to you who and in what terms you allow someone back into your life based on context and behavior and your own feelings, but take care of yourself and I hope things settle down for you all <3

#asks #anonymous

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thereisnolumos · 2 years ago

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One thing that pissed me off about Harry Potter more than anything else: nothing was done about Harry being abused and neglected! Nothing! I would be fine if was because Dumbledore planned it that way and he's suppose to be a villian, or just a very grey flawed person all along who never learns from his mistakes. But no Jk Rowling wants us to feel sympathy for Dumbledore. Dumbledore is good, he just fell for the wrong person. I don't know, I just feel like this isn't just another Jk Rowling is bad at writing thing, but a growing trend in fiction in general when it comes to abuse. Especially child abuse. Unless the person is like a big bad villian(zuko and his father from avatar the last Airbender). People never talk or mention obvious abuse. And even if it's mention. Nothing is done about it in the narrative. The person doing the abusing never gets consequences(unless death, but I feel like in fiction that is too easy) and the person who is abused never addresses it or gets thearpy or help. They are always stuck with their abusers until they are adults. And than they get their happy ending and forget all about the abuse. I just more than anything I wish fiction would talk more openly about abuse. And that the characters that are not out right villians they still get consequences for the abuse they caused. Actual consequences. Not a cheap apology or an easy death. Like jail time type consequences.

JKR’s insistence of Dumbledore being a good character is infuriating. You have written a character that’s constantly uses people for his own agenda, forces several people to be COMPLETELY INDEBTED to him so that they’d never question his actions. Someone who abandons a 1yo for 10 years without checking how he’s doing ONCE and then when that child shows up baring the clear marks of at least neglect and most likely abuse he just… does nothing. At all. Dursleys leave Harry alone only after he, a 13-year-old, scares them with “I have a convicted murderer for a god father and he likes to check up on me”. And that still doesn’t eliminate neglect. Want to tell me that he had no way of helping him? Insuring the Dursleys will treat Harry better?? Come on!

It’s a horrible trend of “you should thank your abusers for making you stronger”. THEY NEVER SHOULD’VE BEEN STRONGER! They should’ve been loved and cared for, and their abusers deserve to rot and get punished.

In regards to Harry Potter universe, I like to think that Dudley goes to therapy and unlearns the shit his parents ingrained in him. And later in life he has a magical child and finds Harry and reconnects with him. And he informs his parents with no uncertain terms that they either accept his child and their magic completely and never diminish them for it, or they can fuck off from his and his child’s life. I can see Vernon going both ways honestly, but I believe Petunia to have learned her lessons and loving her grandchild with all magic and all the things she maybe doesn’t understand.

#harry potter #the dursleys #dudley dursley #petunia dursley #vernon dursley #anti dumbledore #anti albus dumbledore #anti jkr

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weirdthoughtsandideas · 1 year ago

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If DCLA characters had Tumblr part 10 🕺🏼

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Fun fact, because I am adopted I legit thought for a bit too long that everyone was concieved via adoption. Like babies just appeared and you went to adopt them.

I remember when I finally did learn how babies were made it kinda felt unreal

For context I had met pregnant people but I just did not reflect at all how babies came to be

💍 queenoftherink Follow

🤝

Although I remember asking my guardian ”well how did my MOM get me in the first place before she gave me up?? Did she also adopt me??” and her response was ”You see, sometimes flowers appear in the wrong hands, and thus they need to give them away to someone who can take better care of them”

So I… kinda thought I appeared as a flower inside my bio mom and she gave me to my guardian as she could take care of flowers better…

This also made me fear having a baby grow like a flower inside of me at like age 5 so. Yeah.

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

I love reading random lore about your lives you never tell us anything irl

9 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

@supernova-number-one Found a video that describes our relationship 💜

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Ew don’t tag me in ugly animated songs stop

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Phineas and Ferb is a masterpiece, you rat

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

I never watched it. I don’t watch cartoons, it rots your brain

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

I’m gonna break into your house at a random time next week and force you to watch Phineas and Ferb.

I won’t say when, I won’t say how. But beware.

15 notes

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Should I be concerned if my daughter’s female friend climbs in from the second floor window at 1:20 AM, or should I just let it go and be supportive that she has friends?

0 notes

💅🏼 ja-jazmin Follow

Today’s question: If you woke up and realized you were 10 years old again, but you have all the memories and experiences from your current age, what would you do?

👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant Follow

Panic?

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

Yeah i’d… have an existential crisis.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

My life literally started at age 17, imagine going back to being 10. And knowing that you have to suffer through almost a decade before your life starts again.

I guess the good thing is that i’d expose my dad of his lies right off the bat and maybe make some changes there. But. I’d still be 10. I don’t wanna be 10.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Yeah like I’d get the feeling of wanting to be young again because of nostalgia and all that, but was it really that great? Sure, I’d get access to the movies and games I used to watch and play that I no longer have access to. Sure, I’d watch the kids shows again that no longer air. But besides nostalgia for media? Being 10 kinda sucked?? Is anyone in their prime time then????

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Adding to this ^ Imagine all the things that came out after you were 10. All the books, movies, shows… that you no longer have access to because they haven’t come out yet.

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Anyone else getting an irrational fear of going to sleep and waking up as a 10 year old or is it just me?

298 notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

The queer experience of meeting another person and just knowing… you’re one of us.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Yeah…

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

HOLD UP…

LUDMILA??

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Now you’re not replying.

I mean I always knew but i’m still like >:o !!

We’re gonna talk about this when I come and force you to watch some P&F tonight

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

I love my posts being helped to further the plot of whatever is going on between you two

13 notes

💍 queenoftherink Follow

So I was in a singing competition once and I got in last. I’m usually very competitive, but I surprisingly didn’t care. Honestly, I was only joining because it was a competition, but I am not really interested in a singing career.

But I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I won? How would it have looked like if I had a singing career?

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

You wouldn’t like it if Bruno still was responsible. You’d be forced to "date" someone, have random made up drama…

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Oof yeah good point

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Imagine if one of the people in the competition who was not straight won, and they’d have to be forced into a straight fake dating. And they’d also perform a love song and everyone would ask who it was about and they would not be allowed to say.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Why are you vagueposting like this??

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Cause the person themselves can’t tell anything it or they would be found out by a certain someone who has not figured out their Tumblr blog and it’s just fun to keep the mystery

50 notes

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Anonymous asked: You seem to be very interested if your daughter has a boyfriend. What would you do if your daughter has a girlfriend?

I have not considered that a thing that could happen!

Does this mean I have to keep an eye out for girls, too?!

0 notes

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

I was bored and decided to prank my stepsister. I knew she had her friend at home, so I opened the door and yelled ”stop making out”.

Now, of course, they didn’t make out at all, but they got so startled by my voice they almost hid, as if they did something.

💍 queenoftherink Follow

I thought this sounded like a fun idea and went to do the same to my cousin, who currently has her friend over.

As I opened the door and yelled ”stop making out” the two did not get startled. Rather, they just stared at me dumbfounded.

I blinked and then closed the door again. I will not let the awkwardness get to me.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Oh so THAT’S why you did that. I thought you for some reason thought me and Nina were dating (my mom thought that once so idk if that’s a rumor people for some reason have)

10 notes

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Just wanna give a shoutout to the passion fruit juice at Jam and Roller! It’s delicious!

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Ooh, we’re doing J&R recommendations? I recommend the chocolate-vanilla milkshake! It is the BEST THING I’ve tasted ever!

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Wait a minute! I finally figured you out! I did it!

YOU’RE YAM! 🫵

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

HOW did you figure it out by this, out of all things?!

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

I was about to lie and troll you by saying that I’m not Yam, but oh well.

Matteo, it has been an honor watching you absolutely suck at figuring out who I was. I mean, there were some OBVIOUS HINTS.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I just knew I had seen you drink that milkshake quite a lot, so I went from that.

I don’t really know what had been the clear hints

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Please allow me, as someone who does not often speak to Yam irl but observes and knows everything about everyone:

Hint 1: She enjoys singing. Sure, a lot of people enjoy singing at Jam and Roller, but she is our Singer.

Hint 2: Her unhinged behavior. You’re telling me you haven’t ever just noticed her being basically like Lunita but with a more brutally honest attitude?

Hint 3: Her gayness. Now, we should never assume people’s sexualities but Yam both here and much irl has been very openly gay during the last years.

Hint 4: The way she and Jim openly talk about their relationship here. Who did you think Jim was dating??? They haven’t exactly been hiding that much irl either.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I guess I just… didn’t think much about Yam. Sorry.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

That’s ok Strawberry face, I don’t think much about you either except when I troll you on Tumblr

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Now I kinda wanna get to know you haha

Wanna go grab a drink? (If Jim sees this, I promise I won’t make moves on her)

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

I never in my life assumed you would try to make a move on someone who’s openly a lesbian but thanks I guess

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

When you say ”grab a drink” please say you meant going to a bar I’d like to see you drunk

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Well. I guess I was right. Matteo did figure it out in the most unpredictable way.

102 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

My childhood rival included a Phineas and Ferb reference in her latest fic I’m so proud <3

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Stop reading my fanfictions

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

You know fully well you update them only because of me 😘 Your little notes saying ”I know a certain someone who will like this chapter” is def for me

Also the fact that a character climbed through a window in one of them? Please you got that from real life experiences

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

What is happening between you two??

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Phineas and Ferb is what’s happening.

Also Vilu, please read chapter 43 of Ludmila’s 170 chapters fic, I am pretty sure she based that from you.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

It’s just two best friends who everyone is sure is in love but they haven’t realized it themselves??

I don’t get it.

15 notes

#hope the reveal didn’t feel underwhelming #i just wanted him to find out in the most random way #violetta #soy luna #if dcla characters had tumblr

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curlymacandcheese · 10 months ago

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SHATTER ME TRILOGY REVIEW-

2/5 stars…

Almost every review of this series that I have seen raves about how amazing it is. I have to disagree. For some context, here is the plot summary of book one:

“Juliette hasn’t touched anyone in exactly 264 days.

The last time she did, it was an accident, but The Reestablishment locked her up for murder. No one knows why Juliette’s touch is fatal. As long as she doesn’t hurt anyone else, no one really cares. The world is too busy crumbling to pieces to pay attention to a 17-year-old girl. Diseases are destroying the population, food is hard to find, birds don’t fly anymore, and the clouds are the wrong color.

The Reestablishment said their way was the only way to fix things, so they threw Juliette in a cell. Now so many people are dead that the survivors are whispering war – and The Reestablishment has changed its mind. Maybe Juliette is more than a tortured soul stuffed into a poisonous body. Maybe she’s exactly what they need right now.

Juliette has to make a choice: Be a weapon. Or be a warrior.”

A plot summary for books 2 and 3 really isn’t needed since the storyline is so hopelessly redundant one can barely distinguish each book from the other. Essentially, the main character Juliette is rescued from her prison by the ruggedly handsome Adam Kent. They are taken to a District 13-esque underground base by the comedic relief character, Kenji. A resistance movement against an evil government whose motives are never clearly defined is introduced, a love triangle is formed between Juliette, sexy Adam and bad guy turned good sexy Aaron (who- plot twist- is Adam's long lost brother) , our main character discovers that she’s a super powerful girl boss, she takes down the government, becomes the government….yaddah yaddah yaddah.

My main issue with this book isn’t necessarily the plot. The concept of a person who can’t touch others without killing them is intriguing. The two sexy male characters that are conveniently the only people who can touch her without dying from her powers are obnoxious, but what can we expect from a dystopian YA novel? The thing is, a lot of the issues with this book are issues typically associated with YA novels, and in most books, they can be overlooked. BUT THIS BOOK HAS SOME OF THE WORST WRITING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE.

The chapters (which vary in length, sometimes 1, 2, 3, or 15 pages long) are fraught with sad attempts at profound metaphors. Allow me to provide you with a few examples:

“Raindrops are my only reminder that clouds have a heartbeat. That I have one, too.”

I've never heard about clouds with a heartbeat, but whatever makes you happy I guess.

“I only know now that the scientists are wrong.

The world is flat.

I know because I was tossed right off the edge and I've been trying to hold on for 17 years. I've been trying to climb back up for 17 years but it's nearly impossible to beat gravity when no one is willing to give you a hand.”

I think we can all agree that this metaphor could've been made without the declaration that the world is flat, but that line will definitely cause the reader to do a double take!

“I am nothing but novocaine. I am numb, a world of nothing, all feeling and emotion gone forever. I am a whisper that never was.”

.....this speaks for itself. or maybe it doesn't speak, since it's novocaine.

“Every butterfly in the world has migrated to my stomach.”

this imagery both disturbs and confuses me

"My eyes are 2 professional pickpockets, stealing everything to store away in my mind."

quick writing lesson: when a number is less than ten, you write it out in word form!! also what. just what.

"They want to delete every point of punctuation in my life from this earth."

“And we are quotation marks, inverted and upside down, clinging to one another at the end of this life sentence. Trapped by lives we did not choose.”

punctuation metaphors are really a theme here. quite possibly the only theme of this series.

"My mouth is sitting on my kneecaps."

"My jaw is dangling from my shoelace."

"My eyelashes trip into my eyebrows; my jaw drops into my lap."

There are so many other normal ways to just say she was surprised! I simply cannot understand the thought process behind these absurd sentences.

"My stomach is a flimsy crepe, my heart is a raging woodpecker, my blood is a river of anxiety."

"I crumble to the floor, folding into myself like a flimsy crepe."

The fact that a crepe metaphor was used at all, let alone twice in one book, is completely bizarre.

[…]his lips his lips his lips are 2 pieces of frustration forged together.”

This pattern of crossing out and repeating phrases is repeated several times throughout each chapter, and it is sooooo irritating.

To conclude, this book series gave me the same vibes as most soap operas: terrible quality, the plot is filled with intrusive twists that make no logical sense, and the characters have about as much depth as a puddle.

I will admit that I was entertained by this series, hence the two stars instead of one. But I was entertained in the same way a train wreck might be entertaining. This series is so bad it's hilarious. The fact that someone wrote this, reread it, thought it was decent, an editor read this, also thought it was decent, and then had it published is so strange to me.

If you are the type of reader who enjoys plots that aren't thought out whatsoever, if you can stomach the cringiest of writing phrases, if you are okay with the most muddled and rushed endings ever, and if you enjoy the most cliche events possible , you may be able to enjoy this series. Or maybe you can enjoy it while seeing it for the ridiculousness it is. However, if you read this and think that you have walked away with some profound and thought provoking quotes like a majority of people on the internet seem to think, please reevaluate. Expand your reading horizons. Try some classic literature. Or something.

anyways this is not as harsh as it sounds, please don't be offended if you are a huge fan, just my opinion. :)

#shatter me #ignite me #book review #unravel me #tahereh mafi #shatter me book review #shatter me review #shatter me slander #book hate #this is kind of a joke #juliette ferrars #adam kent #aaron warner #bad writing #kenji kishimoto

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soniccrazygal · 2 years ago

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Will this turn out to be sweet or trauma we will have to see... *Evil laughter noises*

"Nothing...." Michael flocked on the Uncomfortable bed. "Where's Charlie?" Elizabeth's face scrunched up Michael was deflecting. "She is surveying the perimeter. She doesn't want another foxy to get into the building.." Elizabeth flopped down next to Michael looking at him. "Michael I'm 13 years old! I'm your sister! I've known you your whole life you can tell me whatever you want to?!" Elizabeth gave him her best puppy dog eyes hoping that Michael would open up she always hated when he acted like she couldn't handle the truth. "Just a girl in the lobby... asked about the mask make me think about stuff.." Michael looked away she knew that under the mask he had the same old Serious stuffs going on and I can't tell Elizabeth's face.. "Michael how long are you planning to wear that thing?" She tapped against the plastic mask. She knew he probably looked scary, like The dead body In the picture that lee Would show off to all the girls in the group home.. But she wanted to see her brother's face again. She was already missing his goofy smile.. "If I could glue it to my face I would..." Elizabeth wanted to hug him but he didn't know if he wanted her to do that..

"You're still glowing..." Michael said he wanted off of this subject. "Yes I'm a freak of nature too you don't have to be so worried about it..." Elizabeth rolled her eyes She knew that her thing was different from Michael but she didn't understand why he was acting like This! sure decaying was probably terrible.. and they had been through so much but this was out of character. "If anyone ever tells you that I'll punch them in the face" Michael said with dead seriousness. Elizabeth burst out laughing. "You can't keep punching people in the face just because they're jerks to me Michael that's what goddess kicked out of the Foster home in Kansas!" Elizabeth shoved him but he didn't laugh.. The joke died on her tongue

(It looks like some was lost but we’ll go with it.)

“Seriously though… what’s wrong?” Elizabeth sighed and asked. “Is it the whole… slowly turning purple thing? Because I don’t care what you look like. You are and always will be my brother.”

#soniccrazygal answers #fnaf story crafting

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kim-poce · 2 years ago

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13. No God In Town: Poison

In hiatus

On Patreon (two weeks earlier release)

First | Previous | Next | Masterlist

The wooden house was about the size of my cabin, maybe a bit smaller. Apart from the empty bottles on the table, it was all neatly clean and organized, I couldn’t pay attention to the detail, though, the world was moving slowly, and blurry, and there was fog and emotions in my mind. Even my core was weird as if I had given it a weak poison.

I should’ve been more careful. The moment the couchwoman suggested it I knew how things would turn. I am centuries old, I know what my body can take and what it can not, and yet I was reckless and inconsequential. But I was angry and grumpy and-

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath, head resting on the table. I was playing with my fingers, there were only five of them, all in the wrong length, but seeing them move on my will was oddly entertaining.

“Fuck? That’s new!” the couchwoman said, I looked up at her smirk through my messy human hair, was she always this big? Or am I just looking from the wrong height? “I didn’t know you could curse.”

“Why? Because I’m a god and I shouldn’t use such… such… fuck… immoral words? I’m not god! I can curse! Not curse like, the the opposite of blessing, I mean I can curse but I’m not talking about curse curse only curse the words and- I’m not god,” I tried to say it in a firm and even tone, but the words tripped on each other and left my mouth barely understandable.

“I know, I know,” the couchwoman said, pouring me another shot of the brownish clear liquid. “You just didn’t click me as the cursing type. Have you met such bad influences?”

I swallowed down the alcoholic thing whose name I didn’t even know. I recalled the arrogant guard with his ‘you know she is bad on sight’ talk about the cursing cub, and understood more why she cursed at them so much. I wanted to curse him too, I hope he got all drenched and caught a cold that day for what he said. I was also mad at the cub but that was a different matter altogether.

“And who… who gets to decide that she is a bad influence? Who he… he thinks he is? He comes to my cabin and talks about my guest. How dare he? I should’ve made snow, or or hail. Hail would hurt the animals, though, they didn’t do anything. Do you think the animals got cold? They were just there, it’s not their fault.”

“You are not making sense, very-human-guy,” the couchwoman drank her own shot, “Who would have guessed you are so weak to alcohol? This sure is a sight to behold.”

I rested my head on the table again, it had been a while since I last was drunk, and now I recalled why I had avoided it for so many years. “I can solve it,” I admitted, “I can sober up if I want to.”

“But you don’t want to, do you? That’s okay, very-human-guy, people should be drunk from time to time. It’s good for the heart.”

I’m no person. I closed my eyes, I was getting really sleepy, maybe I should truly sober up.

“I got no heart,” I corrected.

“It’s good for the emotional heart,” she shrugged. “And I was surprised when you accepted my invitation. You are even paying for it, thank you very-human-guy.”

I looked up at her, she was so normal, “Why aren’t you drunk? It's unfair.”

“You are grumpier than usual, aren’t you?” she laughed. Humans have a good laugh, it’s good to hear. They are happy and doing their thing, and I’m just watching from sideways, that’s how things should be.

“I’m sleepy,” I said. “It’s the wrong time to be sleepy. It’s too early.”

“Either you control your body or you get drunk, you can’t do both,” she said, and she kept saying something blurry.

I noticed I didn’t know what time it was anymore, I felt so lost. As if I was standing in a never-ending pitch-black place, where time was meaningless. I should just sober up already, just–

— —

I woke up. I don’t know what time it was but the sky was dark and it starred. “They are up,” the clubbing cub said, looking down at me. I blinked trying to understand the situation.

“They reek of alcohol!” the flower cub exclaimed. “I’ll prepare them a bath.”

“Now they wake up,” the couchwoman clicked her tongue, “After I carried them all the way up here.”

“You are really strong,” the mint cub said in awe.

“That’s a given,” the couchwoman said proudly. “I didn’t know they got children, or cubs, however they call you lot.”

“It just kinda happened,” the cursing cub explained. “Can you keep it a secret? There would be so many fucking problems otherwise.”

“I didn’t carry them all the way here to break our friendship in such an idiotic way, lady. But I got a favor to ask. The way down the mountain is really hard, and I’m somewhat drunk myself. So I was thinking of sleeping over.”

“What do you think, Biggie?” the clapping cub asked, waving his hand in front of my face. “Can we let her sleep here?”

Now you ask if I allow people in! When you bring a follower every dawn you don’t think asking it’s important.

I nodded anyway and noticed I wasn’t in my human form anymore. Was that the reason the couchwoman brought me here? Because she didn’t want people to see my real form back in town? I did threaten her about letting people know my identity.

The humans talked more about who would sleep where as the flower cub dragged me to the bathtub (well, she isn’t strong enough to drag me so she just led me there) and dropped me into the water.

“Get clean, Biggie, I’ll get you some clothes,” she sighed like an old woman. “Don’t forget the soap.”

I was still confused and drunk, but I didn’t want to be dirty over everything else. I decided not to sober up, it was late, and I wanted to sleep soon, which wouldn’t be possible if I take out the effect of the weak poison. By the time I was in my bed the humans outside were talking loudly.

“This bed is so comfy, how much do you want for it?” the couchwoman asked, she was sounding more like a drunk person now.

“That depends on how much money you got,” the cursing cub answered.

“The bed isn’t yours!” the mint cub protested. “It’s Biggie’s. They made it themselves!”

“Oh? That’s an outstanding skill they got there.”

“Hey!” the flower cub yelled. “You are even dirtier than Biggie! Get out of bed!”

“That was mean~”

“Go take a bath!”

“I don’t like baths.”

“It's a bath or sleeping on the floor.”

“Thinking again, the bath is great actually,” the couchwoman laughed as the cub dragged her to the bathtub.

I closed my eyes, I would keep this talk in my memory when I left. These jovial and casual moments are what truly matter. I was still angry at the cubs, and I knew somewhere near the cabin the follower was waiting alone. I didn’t need to ask questions and try to solve it though. I was great at walking away from my problems. Yes. I thought before sleeping. That’s a good way to spend my last day in this town.

—

@extemporary-username, @the-magpiesystem, @nexfox-art, @kathea, @wolfeyedwitch, @blu-jay-2779, @rose-pinkie, @latenightcupsofcoffee

#no god in town #original fiction #original writing #fantasy writing #fantasy #my writing #not whump #not a reblog #alcohol tw

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unseededtoast · 1 year ago

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Antedate | Bucky Barnes

Part 1/13 | Part Two

Summary: Sometimes making the right decision feels like the wrong one. That decision can stick with you for years and leave you wondering what would happen if you had chosen something else. But the alternatives likely lead to a much darker path; you'll never know for sure though. One thing is for certain, the decisions I have made will have lasting consequences.

Prequel to Rectify

Series Warnings: Discussion of human trafficking, physical and mental abuse, mention and description of death

a/n: Hi everyone, thank you for checking this out, I appreciate any and all support! This series is also posted on Ao3 and Wattpad if you prefer those formats/platforms! This is a completed series, and it's going to take some time for me to transfer it to Tumblr, so please bear with me!

"I trust you all will make her into Hydra's most effective scientist."

Snow falls in fluffy flakes and sticks to the ground in a thick white blanket. My toes have gone numb from the cold, but I can't bring myself to care. People walk back inside as I stare at the rectangle of freshly disturbed soil. Warm teardrops trail down my face and fall from the tip of my red nose.

Someone stands beside me, tucking their hands into their pockets. I bite my lip to keep from saying anything out of line and swallow the lump in my throat. The man beside me sighs,

"Happens to us all at some point." The man pats my shoulder a few times as he leaves. The snow crunches under his footsteps as he retreats back into the building. I stand alone in the freezing temperatures. I don't want to go back in there.

I kneel on the ground and place my fingertips on the cold dirt. A few more tears fall as I try to find the words I want to say. I sniffle and look to the sky, the grey clouds are causing a gloomy overcast. I clear my throat,

"Thank you for everything you've done, you were too good for this place. I'll always love you, mom. Rest easy." I whisper and stand up. I wipe my eyes of tears and take a few deep breaths. I know better than to walk in there crying.

I gain my composure and walk back into the building. One of the guards opens the door for me and I give him a curt nod. The inside lights are fluorescent, the concrete dull and cold. Home sweet home. I set my jaw tightly and keep my head held high as I walk back to my room.

As usual, the hallway is guarded by agents. I wish they weren't here, I'd like to have just one place where I can get away from everything. But after mom dying, I bet the security measures will only increase. I focus on the end of the hall, not making any sort of contact with the guards as I walk quickly to my door and open it.

As it shuts behind me I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. I relax and take my coat off, hanging it on the hook next to the door. I rub my hands together quickly to try and create some heat, my fingertips had turned blue from being out in the cold for so long. I turn to sit on my bed so I can undo my boots, but jump as I see my father sitting on the edge. What is he doing here?

I fix my posture and squints his eyes at me. I feel tension in the air and prepare myself to be reprimanded for something. I wonder what he'll choose to belittle me over today. My father's eyes scrutinize me, looking up and down. Suddenly, he stands from the bed and walks right in front of me. I tilt my head back to make eye contact with him.

"You were quite an embarrassment out there, Adalyn. I expected you to hold yourself together. Remember what I said about being dignified. You're thirteen years old now, act like it. You're no longer a child. Remember, your training begins tomorrow and I expect you will not disappoint." He says and walks out of the room without another word. I stand still until I hear the door shut.

I unlace my boots and place them in their proper spot by the door. I look around my room and feel like something is missing, something is gone. I stare at the rundown, empty armchair by a small bookcase that mom used to read to me in. Something is gone alright.

I walk over and sit in the chair. The old fabric is torn in some places and the cushion sinks down in the middle, but it's the most comforting chair I've ever been in. I lean my head against the back cushion and run my hand over the material. It reminds me of her.

My mind drifts off and I remember all the times she would read to me in this chair. When I was really little, she would hold me in her lap as she read me old stories. My favorite was always about the boy who was kidnapped by a wicked witch, but was saved by the brave and kind girl. She always finished that story by telling me that evil people will never prevail, and that we have a choice and duty to choose kindness and mercy. I never could understand how she ended up with my father. I don't know if I ever will.

I choose to sleep in the chair for the night, and spend my last conscious thoughts reminiscing the sweet memories I have of her. Now that she's gone, there is no light in this place. There is no humanity. I know that since she's no longer here, there will be a power struggle. After all, someone has to take her spot and assume her duties. She was the second most powerful person in Hydra, and that position won't go unfilled for long.

The morning comes too soon. The overhead alarm wakes me up from my uncomfortable sleep and I rub the soreness in my neck. I take a few moments to wake up and prepare my mind for the day. My father is making me start my specialty training today, he says I'm ready for it but I have my doubts. I only just took the placement test a few weeks ago and I've never seen them place the other children this quickly.

I put on the clothes my father had picked out for me to wear. He said this first impression is vital, and that I must look properly put together. The last thing I want to do today is bring dishonor to my father. I take the time to make sure my hair is placed perfectly and out of my face. I put my shoes on and look over myself one more time to make sure everything is how it's supposed to be.

I take a deep breath and fix my posture before I open the door. I keep my head held high as I walk down the cold hallway and to the science lab. My shoes echo through the hall and I stop in the doorway of the lab once I get there. It would be out of place for me to just walk in.

I see my father already talking to one of the scientists and his eyes light up as he sees me. He smiles and alerts everyone,

"Everyone, this is my daughter, Adalyn. I assure you that she is brilliant and you will have no trouble out of her. I trust you all will make her into Hydra's most effective scientist." He says, threatening the people with an overly cheerful tone. What he actually told them was to make sure I surpass their abilities or they'll lose their job, perhaps even their life. I watch as the scientists all nod their heads with wide smiles. They're all terrified.

"Of course, Mr. Averina." The lead scientist steps forward and gives my father a courteous head bow. My father pats my shoulder and heads out of the room, leaving me with everyone. I've seen them all before, but I don't actually know any of them. I know they all know me, it's hard to find a person who doesn't know me in this place.

"Miss Averina, let us start by showing you around." The man says and motions for me to follow him. Sticking to my father's orders, I nod my head and follow the man wordlessly and without emotion. I am to remain as professional and formal as possible at all times.

The man shows me around the vast laboratory, pointing out different machines and what they do. It's all very fascinating to me. I watch as some scientists continue their work, putting fluids into clear glass beakers and looking at specimens under the microscope. I wonder what they're working on?

The man stops in front of a door that has the words "No Entry" plastered in bright red font across it. He points at the door and makes eye contact with me,

"Do not enter this room under any circumstances." His tone is not the cheerful one he had kept throughout the tour. I nod my head, curious about what's in there. The man clears his throat and shows me to an empty table.

"This is where you will be conducting your work. You'll be training with us for a while before we let you go on your own." He says.

"What exactly am I training for?" I ask. Nobody has told me what I'm going to be specializing in, just that I had been placed within the science division. The lead scientist scratches the back of his head and I notice some others pause their work to listen in.

"You will be focusing on our neuroscience studies." I nod my head. Not exactly what I was hoping for, but, I guess I can't complain. I could've been placed in the soldier division.

Day after day I report for my duties, learning a little more each day. The days blur together, it feels like I'm trapped in a time loop. The scientist I'm training under, Leopold, is friendly enough, but there's something unsettling about him. Something sinister.

Today he's teaching me more about the structures of the brain. He says that in order for me to be effective in this field, I have to understand this stuff like the back of my hand. And so I will. I pay close attention and take detailed notes as he points at different images on the page. I find it quite easy to remember this information, perhaps because it's fascinating to me.

Every day after we're done in the laboratory I go back to my room and study. My father made it quite clear to me that I am to excel in this field. He mentioned something about a special project that he wants me to take control of once I'm ready. Maybe that's why Leopold is strange, he knows my father plans on replacing him with me in a few years.

"And the hippocampus, this one right here, stores the memories." Leopold says and points to a small image on the page. I nod and quickly scribble down what he says. I look up to him once I'm done writing and he shuts the book. He takes a seat on the edge of the table and cracks his knuckles. I scrunch my eyebrows together, what is he doing?

"Tomorrow you will be tested on this. If you pass you move on to the next lesson. If you fail we have to start over. You are free to go study, we're done for the day." I nod and close the book I take notes in. As I leave the laboratory I take quick glances to see what the others are doing.

I notice on one of the tables that there is a brain floating in a glass. It startles me, seeing a brain just casually on display. I don't even want to begin pondering where they got it. I leave the lab and head to my father's office to tell him Leopold let me go early today. The last thing I need is my father reprimanding me for not telling him.

I knock on my father's office door and he opens it. He looks down at me and steps away so I can enter. He takes his seat behind the desk and I stand in front of it.

"Leopold released me early today, he says I should study for the test tomorrow. I will pass it." I tell my father and he nods.

"I expect nothing less from you. The quicker you master the information the quicker we can be rid of Leopold. He's done nothing for us. He's only here because his father was a genius. But I think it's time the Zola bloodline ends." I nod shortly. It makes my skin crawl to think that I will be responsible for Leopold's demise. My father dismisses me and I go back to my room, where I study for the rest of the night.

#james bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky #bucky fanfic #hydra #bucky barnes fic #james buchanan barnes #marvel #bucky barnes x oc #bucky barnes angst

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justkenz · 2 years ago

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I (20F) think my girlfriend (19F) is gonna break up with me

Some background information before I start: I (20F) have been dating my current girlfriend (19F) for 5,5 months now. She is autistic and I have C-PTSD. She knows what has happened to me in the past, but can be forgetful at times due to overstimulation. We both a kpop coverists and dance together.

Yesterday my 13 year old cat crossed the rainbow bridge suddenly. I was the one that found him and I had to get him wrapped in a towel. I gave him to my younger sister and dad, they took him to the vet. Apparently he had an embolism which paralysed him from the waist down and the vet told us that we could give him treatment, but there was a small change he would make it and the risk of another embolism was very high. The choice was very clear, but all of a sudden our cat was gone. This cat wasn't just any other cat to me, this cat has helped me a lot through my panic attacks, depressive episodes, etc. My girlfriend knows this.

We had a filming session scheduled for a new cover we were going to make and I didn't cancel it. I did let everyone know what was going on and that I wasn't feeling well and I was not in the best mood. We were in a group of 6 for this cover.

A lot of things went wrong; it was cold, people were late, some people all of a sudden needed to be home early (we are all adults ranging between 19F-22F) and the original location we wanted to film at was occupied. I was the one communicating with the group and a lot of responsibilities fell on my shoulder, which I did not want to handle and I communicated that quite harshly to the rest, but in the end I needed to take care of a lot of things.

I made a new filming schedule (from filming 3 hours to filming the cover under an hour) and chose a new location with our camera man (without her I couldn't do it). When I send it over nobody responded and left me waiting. I waited over 30 minutes in the cold and the first thing I heard was someone complain about the location. Nobody checked in with me if I was fine, except for our camera man. During the whole filming session more things went wrong and I got very agitated, but I kept it to myself. I did not want to start a fight in the middle of filming, I just wanted to finish this project. More things happened, like me falling down hard on the ground which broke my necklace and some people complained about that too due to the continuity of filming, since it's obvious we didn't do it in 1 take (which we never claimed to do anyways).

After filming my girlfriend said to me she wanted to have a chat alone, but I walked away since I was super angry. She then grabbed me by the wrist and said she was very pissed off at me for the way I talked to her in our group chat. I tried to stay calm and walk it off instead of diving into the conversation, but when I saw them whispering and looking at me I snapped.

I ran after them (they were walking and ignoring me) and I burst through their crowd and confronted my girlfriend. I was yelling in public about everything I had to deal with today. At some point she grabbed my wrist again, which is something you shouldn't do (it's a trigger) so I pushed her off. Her friends thought I was going to attack her so they all grabbed me and I tried to fight them off (only by getting myself loose, I did not hit a single person. Just tried to shake them off), but they all yelled at me and said I was aggressive and that I shouldn't hurt her, etc. It triggered me even more, which made me say very harsh things to my girlfriend and at some point she thought I was going to break up with her. I did not do it and told her I would never do that, hut I did not want to see her again because I was (and still kind off am) angry at her.

During the conversation she said that A. She thought I was going to cancel and B. She understood what I was going through. I told her she didn't understand it, that she will never understand it and that she shouldn't pretend to understand what I'm going through. That throughout the day not 1 person except for the camera man checked in on me or showed me sympathy and that from her I know I can't get it due to her autism (which is a very ableist thing to say). After my rant I walked away and tried to calm down.

I texted her multiple times to show her more of my perspective and when I fully calmed down I sent her a very long message where I fully explained what I was going through that day and an apology for some of the things that I said.

Now she isn't responding anymore and I don't know what to do. These friends never liked me anyways and they always have had a big influence on her and after my outburst I'm afraid that they are going to convince her (and her mom as well) to break up with me.

Hey, I’m really sorry for your loss🤍 and I hope you are doing okay! That sounds like a really brutal day and a lot happened that would be really hard to keep it together.

I’m not sure if something like this has ever happened in the past, but it sounds like you had a really rough day, really needed someone to understand that and at least be mindful of the fact that you were struggling. I think there were a lot of things that just kept adding to your already full cup and eventually it all just came spilling out.

I’m not saying that’s an excuse for saying or doing harsh things, but it’s just saying that there were things that clearly led to this one incident.

I’m really sorry that she grabbed you, I’m assuming that you’ve talked to her before about things that trigger you, so if that’s the case that’s really not cool.

She might just need some time to process and cool down from that, and to be honest it is probably good for you to take some time too. I think after a few days you both should try talking and just hearing what each other has to say.

I know it can be scary when you are unsure if what is going on since she isn’t answering, but depending on your relationship, I think she is likely just taking some time to process and hopefully will reach out to you soon!

Take care of yourself friend!

#asks #life advice #dating advice #relationship advice #lgbtq #lgbtq asks #lgbtqia+ community #pet loss

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brit-o-raptor · 2 years ago

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God, I can't with this. Sorry in advance since this will be long.

To be honest I love Joel with all my heart, he's one of my favourite video-game characters of all time. Ever since 2013.

But you're wrong.

Joel is not a good person and what he did was absolutely wrong.

People love shitting on Marlene and the Fireflies when they don't even know what happens in the story beyond the TV series.

I hated the fact that the made Ellie and Marlene complete strangers in the show when in reality Marlene has been taking care for Ellie for 13 FUCKING YEARS before Joel was even in the picture. ( I told my sister that part of the adaptation was shitty and would cause problems and lo and behold).

Ellie was in a FEDRA school and orphanage because Marlene was busy running the Fireflies and couldn't take care of an infant. Ellie knows that, and in the Left Behind DLC she actually asks Riley if she could join (another thing I hated about the show, trying to make the FASCISTS in FEDRA look good) and Riley tells her that Marlene won't let her.... Because she wants her safe.

Ellie has the knife and a note from her mum. She knows she can trust Marlene. Hell, when we meet Ellie she doesn't want to go with Joel and Tess and is absolutely worried about Marlene being hurt.

Marlene cared about Ellie A LOT. You can see it in the notes and recordings in Saint Mary's. Marlene loves Ellie deeply and fears she failed Anna. She green-lights the surgery but is super conflicted about it. She actually refused at the beginning, but she knows that they have one shot at making the cure. The Fireflies were desperate and had been working for years on finding a cure and fighting the infection while fighting against a fascist government.

She doesn't want Ellie to die, but she's responsible for what's left of the Fireflies, that included not only soldiers but also scientist and CHILDREN. She knows what she's doing is wrong, but she can't afford to fail.

She actually says "Joel may be the only person who knows what I'm feeling".

Don't come and say Marlene didn't care for Ellie as much as Joel did.

Now Joel.

Joel loved Ellie, no doubt about it. He saw her as a daughter. Not the daughter she lost, not a replacement for Sarah, but a new chance at being happy. He came to care for and love her.... But he knew her for barely a year. It was a year that changed both their lives and helped them heal. But still a sole year.

We can't forget either that Joel didn't even want anything to do with Ellie at the beginning.

Joel had spent 20 years being a survivalist and committing atrocities. Tommy actually leaves him and doesn't want so see him again because of that. Tommy has nightmares of everything Joel and him did to survive. He knows Joel is violent and cold, and while that helped them survive it wasn't right.

He's happy in Jackson and is healing from all those years of having to kill, torture and steal from others in order to live.

When they get to Jackson Joel tries to get Tommy to take Ellie. There's no emotional vulnerable Joel going "I'm old and I can't protect her and I'm scared I'm gonna get her killed UwU".

You have a Joel that wants to pin her on Tommy because he doesn't want to open up and love anyone again.

His harsh, stone-cold façade was already breaking since the Pittsburgh QZ. He cares for her, but doesn't want to. He still tries to distance himself form her. Ellie is a lonely child. She just lost two people and wants to grieve them and talk about it with Joel? He lashes out and tells her to just move on.

He doesn't want to love her.

Joel isn't a paternal character until AFTER the encounter with the cannibals, when he's faced with her almost dying and getting eaten (and molested).

When they arrive to Salt Lake City it is already too late. Her innocence has been lost. She's moody and doesn't actually react when he's acting like a father figure.

He tries to tell her to just go back to Jackson and forget about it, be happy, you know? But Ellie wants to see it end. She wants her immunity to mean something, to help people since she couldn't help Riley or Tess or Sam and Henry. She NEEDS to see this through. She tells him she wants to do something to help.

They get to the Fireflies, he gets K-O'd and Ellie arrives already unconscious because she almost drowns.

They tell him she could die and he can't take it. He was cold and closed off during 80% of their time together and now that he's opening up and seeing the possibility of a future.... He can't take it.

He's afraid of losing her and decides to massacre a whole HOSPITAL to get her out. Something that is completely understandable, I would've gone apeshit if my own sister was in danger, but it's still a selfish act.

People love complaining about Marlene and Dr. Anderson and how they didn't even ask Ellie if she wanted the procedure done and blah blah blah.

They forget that Joel robbed Ellie of her agency as well. And it's something that she will hate him for.

THEY ALL 3 DID IT. THEY'RE ALL WRONG IN THAT REGARD.

The Fireflies were willing to kill a child for a cure, Joel was willing to kill a hospital full of people for what he considered to be his world.

Hell, Dr. Anderson was willing to kill a child to protect his own fucking child and give her a chance at a world with no raiders, hunters and infected.

If they had asked Ellie she most likely would've said yes....and Joel would've still killed everyone to get her out. His actions were selfish.

Understandable? Sure, but still selfish and still cruel and aberrant.

This story is not a black and white story. There are no heroes and villains, there are only people. People that react and behave in a very visceral, emotional and not exactly rational way.

They're very human.

When the game came out people would argue what the ethical ending for the game could be. If we had a choice to spare the Fireflies and have a cure, would we do it? Was it wrong was it right?

It's all in a very gray area, there's no real answer.

No one is right, but at the same time, no one is completely wrong either.

So being all "UwU team Joel forever and Marlene was a bitch" is doing the story a disservice.

The HBO series was good, as far as adaptations come, but it changed certain things that made the ending not as impactful as it was in the game.

Pedro Pascal's Joel is so soft and emotional (not a bad thing and while I like Mr. Pascal is till prefer game Joel) he never closed himself to Ellie nor was he as brutal and emotionally detached. His act of love gets downsized.

They erased all ties between Ellie and Marlene. Big mistake.

The series, as good as it is, is not the canon version and they dropped the ball in certain aspects.

And one last thing, the procedure would've worked. Druckmann confirmed it. Had they done the surgery, a cure would've been developed. Joel did doom the world while he was saving his.

Sorry for the big-ass post but I'm very passionate about these games and the story since its the modern equivalent of a Greek tragedy and hate that people tend to make some very shallow takes on it.

sorry but I am officially a joel miller apologist. the fireflies knock him out & as soon as he regains consciousness marlene breaks the news to him that ‘yah sorry you’re never going to see your daughter again bc the surgery is lethal. but here’s her knife as a keep sake <3′ i’m sorry marlene but u thought that was going to go over well? you thought the insanely dangerous and firearm proficient man was who obviously bonded to ellie was going to go calmly? she should have sent ten men to escort him out. thirty. she should have just shot him in the head while he was unconscious. but of course she underestimated how much he cared. what he would do for ellie. bc she knew mean gruff self serving survivalist joel not father joel. she didn’t even let joel and ellie say goodbye to each other. was planning on killing ellie without even telling her for an experimental procedure they had no proof would work. didn’t even give joel the option to see her one last time. “would u kill 1 person to save 100?” they didn’t even allow a fourteen year old the agency to answer that question. team joel

#The last of us #Tlou #Tlou2 #Ellie Williams #Joel Miller #Marlene #Fireflies #Hbo #tlou hbo #The last of us hbo #Ellie tlou #Tommy miller #Spoilers I guess #Play the games or watch a gameplay and read American Dreams if you don't believe me.#Personal

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tehuti88-art · 4 months ago

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9/13/24: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." This week's characters from my anthro WWII storyline are Otto Himmel's adopted children: Simon, Anneliese, Elka, Erna, Hugo, Monika, and Alwin. Himmel and his wife Dagmar always wanted a large family but she died giving birth to their only son Kolten; after the war, Himmel adopts a handful of orphans and with Johanna Wolfstein raises them as their own. There'll be more about them later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Regarding their design, Elka and Erna are twins, while Hugo, Monika, and Alwin are siblings, so I gave them all distinctive lighter colored ears. Simon is the oldest of them, Anneliese the youngest.

TUMBLR EDIT: Whoo a bunch this week! For starters, please see Johanna Wolfstein's entry for how she and Himmel end up together after the war and how their family begins. Himmel's beloved wife, Dagmar, died of blood loss following Kolten's birth years ago, dashing Himmel's hopes of having a big family (during the war he envied his boss's, Jäger's, large brood, spoiling them whenever he had the chance, and was heartbroken following their deaths in the Alpine Fortress); he and Johanna, who'd also wanted kids yet couldn't have any, decide they can patch together a family together, following an orphanage visit. This entry will afterward be individualized for each child though I haven't much to share yet so these should be short. Here we go!

I'll just cover the siblings together. I don't know much about Hugo and his younger siblings, Monika and Alwin, just yet, except that the youngest, Alwin, is disabled in some way, similar to Kolten (Kolten almost surely has some sort of moderate autism) only more severe (Kolten has the intellectual capacity of approximately a five year old, and can't read or write, but can do simple repetitive chores such as chopping wood and basic self care, while Alwin is unable to speak, and needs help tending to himself). Their family has to go into hiding because of Alwin, who would be targeted by the Nazis for extermination otherwise. For some reason, they live while their parents don't, but manage to stay together--the oldest child, practical Hugo, taking charge--and survive long enough to end up in the orphanage...where no one wishes to adopt all three as a group (especially not Alwin), so nobody will adopt them at all. Hugo always speaks for the shy, fretful Monika and the voiceless Alwin, insisting that he won't leave them behind. He's loyal and stubborn that way. The administrator decides to ask Himmel, who's already adopted a few difficult cases--SS child Anneliese, and twins Elka and Erna--if he'd be willing to adopt another set of siblings, including the disabled Alwin. It's the knowledge of Himmel's son, Kolten, that prompts her to try; Himmel's already proven he knows how to handle such things, so perhaps he'll be able to handle Alwin's challenges as well.

Himmel agrees to meet the trio. Hugo is polite, yet standoffish; he's used to people showing interest, then moving on the moment they find out the three are a package deal with a special needs child. Himmel doesn't seem fazed by this, however; he's cordial to Monika as well, and greets Alwin even after Hugo tells him Alwin can't respond. They're offered the chance to stay overnight at his house and see how they fit in. Hugo doesn't get his hopes up, though Monika is definitely hopeful.

The drive there is over an hour, much of it along bumpy country roads. Alwin takes as much as he can stand before the truck hits one bump too many and he starts squalling. His cries are so piercing they startle Himmel and he nearly drives them off the road; he pulls aside and asks what's wrong. Hugo and Monika have to explain that the ride is just too much for Alwin to take all at once; loud noises, jarring sensations, even something like a scratchy blanket or a lumpy pillow can bring on a lengthy series of shrieks. Himmel asks what can he do to settle Alwin down long enough to finish the ride; Hugo says he needs time to squall himself out first, but the moment they get back on the road he's likely to just start anew. He figures this will be enough to convince Himmel to turn around and take them back...yet Himmel asks if Alwin will tolerate being picked up and handled. He will, that doesn't bother him, though Hugo is puzzled by the question. Himmel says that when his son Kolten was a baby, his temper tantrums could sometimes be soothed by carrying him around and rocking him. Alwin isn't a baby, though he's relatively small; everyone but him gets out of the truck, and Himmel picks him up, balancing him on his arm, and starts walking around the vehicle. He bounces him lightly at first, which Alwin doesn't seem to like, so then he starts swaying as he walks instead, a slow rocking motion. Hugo and Monika look on, skeptical...yet then, wonder of wonders, Alwin's cries gradually become not so strident, dying down to just regular crying.

Himmel continues walking Alwin around until he's merely whimpering and sniffling before saying, "All right, we're not too far. Back in the truck, bitte!--we'll be there in no time." Hugo warns him that Alwin will surely start screaming as soon as they get going again; Himmel tells him not to worry, they'll figure it out and get there soon. He doesn't put Alwin back between his siblings like before, but places him on his lap; Alwin just continues sniffling when the big truck roars and creaks back to life and pulls into the road, though soon enough it hits a rock and he whimpers. A second bump, his mouth opens wide--Himmel grasps the wheel and starts swaying back and forth and humming loudly, a song Hugo and Monika recognize as a lullaby. Alwin's attempted scream fades into another whimper and he does nothing more than snuffle and whine softly the entire rest of the ride, Himmel rocking him and humming the entire way.

Himmel is obviously tired and sore by the time they finally pull up to the country mansion, his limp a bit more noticeable after he sets Alwin aside and slowly climbs out to stretch his back, so Hugo carries his whimpering brother. A woman carrying a little girl, older twin girls following them curiously, comes out to greet them as Himmel introduces them by name (Hugo had expected him to forget their names). The other three children are also adopted, it turns out; Hugo and Monika seem to vaguely remember the twins at least, though they never really interacted. "Johanna, fetch Kolten, bitte...?" Himmel says, gesturing toward Hugo; "This little one here, I think Kolten might like to meet him." Hugo has no idea who Kolten is or why he should meet Alwin specifically; after Johanna disappears then returns, he hugs Alwin to him tighter, feeling anxious. Kolten is HUGE, and he's scary. Hugo is just small but he does his best to look as big and intimidating as he can, Monika shrinking back behind him; and something strange happens--Kolten, who'd been approaching after Himmel gestured him forward, seems to mirror Monika, or else do the opposite of Hugo, head lowering, body shrinking in, making himself smaller. Obviously he can't ACTUALLY make himself small, but the illusion is effective; although Hugo tries to maintain his stance, Monika relaxes somewhat.

Himmel introduces his son. Hugo is surprised--he has his own son?--why take in other people's kids? It's also surprising that his son is so much bigger and taller than the rather slight Himmel, even though they share the same facial expressions and physical mannerisms. "Kolten, this little one here is Alwin," Himmel says--"Hallo," Kolten promptly says to Alwin--at which Himmel adds, "Alwin has some challenges, Kolten, I think he may be a little like you," and Kolten looks at Alwin curiously. "Does he like to play?" Himmel asks Hugo; Hugo replies that Alwin doesn't so much play, as pick things up and move them around in his hands. "He doesn't know how to play," Monika pipes up, "he just likes feeling and moving things around. But not scratchy things." Himmel looks at Kolten--"You hear, Kolten...?" and Kolten nods and approaches--"He's all right to be carried," Himmel says, but Hugo refuses to hand Alwin over when he holds out his arms. Kolten seems nonplussed and unsure what to do until Hugo murmurs, "I...I'd like to carry him, bitte." He worries about offending him, but Kolten simply withdraws and says, "I have blocks, they're wood, wood is not scratchy, nein...?" Hugo, perplexed, says he doesn't think so. Himmel tells them to follow Kolten inside and he'll show Alwin his things while he and Johanna prepare rooms for them.

Kolten has a repurposed playroom in the house, a large side parlor with shelves for blocks and books; Hugo stares in awe at a huge, unfinished building upon one shelf, and wanders toward it; "Bitte, look but do not touch my building...?" Kolten says in a plaintive voice, then as if in apology for the request, "You can touch these blocks if you want," he indicates the loose blocks sitting in a bin and upon another shelf, then hurries to grab a triangular one, clutching it close--"Except this one," and he makes gestures for them to help themselves. Hugo sees how anxious he is, and can tell he's uncomfortable sharing his blocks but is doing so anyway...he's seen Alwin get upset when other people handle whatever he's currently interested in, and recognizes that reaction here. Kolten may not be as profoundly disabled as Alwin is, but there are similarities. Hugo refrains from touching the blocks himself, yet sets Alwin down near some; Alwin notices a particular block immediately, picks it up, and starts turning it around and around in his hands, fascinated; he even puts his mouth on it. Kolten blinks and looks at Hugo. "He won't try to eat it, promise," Hugo insists anxiously; Kolten responds by picking up a block, peering at it, putting it in his mouth a moment, then taking it back out, giving a puzzled shrug. "Maybe a different shape tastes better," he says doubtfully.

"May I, may I...?" Monika exclaims, hopping from foot to foot and pointing--she's noticed the shelf of drawing pads and crayons and pencils. Kolten nods--"Ja"--and she helps herself, happily getting lost in making drawings. "You want to play with anything...?" Kolten asks Hugo; when Hugo just looks lost--he's so used to protecting his siblings that now that they're both content and preoccupied doing other things, he has no idea what to do--Kolten ventures, "If you don't like to play with blocks or books or drawings, what do you like...?" And Hugo just says, "I...I don't know." Honestly, he's not even sure he knows how to play anymore.

Kolten seems equally perplexed. Himmel appears in the doorway and inquires how things are going. He's pleased that Alwin is absorbed in the blocks, cooing and turning them around and around, while Monika hums and colors in a drawing; "He does not know what to play," Kolten says of Hugo, who blushes. "Oh...?" says Himmel, frowning; "Well...if you're not interested in Kolten's things...would you like to help Johanna? She's in the kitchen right now, cutting up some snacks for you and the others to eat. And when you're done eating if you'd like you can help me in the garden, I can always use another pair of hands."

There it is--this sparks Hugo's interest. Helping. He's gotten rusty at playing, what with protecting and keeping his family together--but helping, he knows how to do. Playing feels frivolous, something smaller children do; helping feels useful, something older kids like him do. Himmel advises Kolten to keep a close eye on Alwin and Monika--"Ja, Papa"--and gestures for Hugo to follow him. Hugo is soon busy in the kitchen washing, cutting, and arranging fruit slices with Johanna and one of the twins, then after everyone eats, he helps Himmel pull weeds and prune twigs as the other twin chases a giggling Anneliese around. "Your nails are filthy," Himmel says once they're done, "that's how you know you did a good job," and Hugo beams from ear to ear. Everyone washes up for supper--a raucous meal with everyone talking and yelling at once, Himmel swaying Alwin on his knee to distract him from the noise--then sits in the den, by the fire, for Himmel to read them a story from one of Kolten's books--then gets ready for bed, everyone scurrying to their rooms. "I thought you three might want to stay together tonight," Himmel tells Hugo and Monika as he shows them and Alwin to their room, "though if you decide to stay longer, you can have your own rooms." The implication is clear: He'll take them in if they wish him to, and he won't split the family up.

"If..." Hugo says, falters, starts anew at an encouraging look from Himmel, "if we stay...could Alwin stay in my room?" He knows Monika will be fine, but can't bear the thought of Alwin being on his own.

"Of course," Himmel says; "Of course he can stay with you. Whatever makes you all most comfortable." He steps to the door, fingers on the lamp chain; "Keep it on, bitte...?" Monika murmurs, she's always been a little scared of the dark. Himmel smiles faintly; "Of course," and slips out the door. "Schlaf gut," he says, and leaves the door a crack open when he departs, without Hugo needing to ask.

Needless to say, by the next day everyone is pretty much decided. Hugo, Monika, and Alwin won't be remaining at the orphanage.

Please see Hugo's siblings' entries: Kolten, Simon, Anneliese, Elka and Erna, Monika and Alwin.

[Hugo Himmel 2024 [‎Friday, ‎September ‎13, ‎2024, ‏‎12:04:14 AM]]

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