#things will be okay because we all want that more than anything.

[prael]

Day 6: Revenge Or Fate

IOI/Gugudan Sejeong x male reader smut

words: 5,611 12 Days of Praelmas Masterlist

"What's that look for?" you ask with all the whimsy you can muster. "I only said that I bought your favourite popcorn. Why are you staring at me as if I just got down on one knee and proposed?"

"You did say you'd marry me someday," Sejeong jokes. Then she does that thing she always does when she's nervous—tugging at the lobe of her ear.

You roll your eyes. "Yeah. I mean when we are both in our sixties. When you have become the crazy cat lady and I the bachelor with a penchant for wine and cigarettes. It's not even close to that time yet."

"Why would you be smoking?" Sejeong wrinkles her nose. She knows you can't stand the smell.

"Because I'll be an ageing bachelor, duh," you answer with a dismissive wave of a hand as you sit by her on the couch. She's got her legs curled up against her chest, the way she always does when it's cold outside. You'd know—she's been sitting like that on your couch every winter since the beginning of time.

She lets out the softest of laughs before it quickly dissipates into silence. She's staring across the room, but not really looking at anything. Her face is painted in melancholy. You know her well enough to know that look, and you hate it. Hate everything it represents. You sigh. The first time you saw her like this was back as teenagers, after the dog she grew up with had been hit by a car. It still hurts your chest.

"You've got that look again," you tell her. "Like there's a million and one things in your mind and none of them particularly good."

"I'm okay. Just tired." Sejeong's smile doesn't quite convince you.

"I wasn't going to say anything. I thought you'd tell me if you wanted me to know, but it's been months since you asked me to come over on a Friday night, so something has happened. I haven't seen this much annoyance behind your eyes since the end of Game Of Thrones. What is it?"

"I'm just feeling overwhelmed, that's all. I wish you weren't so observant."

"You should be used to it by now."

Sejeong flashes a half-hearted smile and takes hold of your hand as she used to do when you were kids. You feel guilty for the way your stomach flutters.

"I guess we have always known each other better than anyone else," she admits, her hand still clasped around yours. It's warm and familiar. You feel the urge to push away, but how can you? It would give far too much away. She has always had this effect on you—you could never distance yourself from her warmth. "He's an asshole."

"You don't need to tell me twice," you chuckle. Then: "Tell me what happened."

"I think he might be cheating."

The air escapes from you at once. The way Sejeong said it is so casual, almost as if she'd resigned herself to this fate a long time ago. And here you are, trying your best to keep your anger under control, like always. But not for her sake—rather, for yours. You know where your feelings belong, and they have no place in the situation at hand. Not today, and definitely not ever. You take a deep breath and look her square in the eye.

"What did he do?"

"I shouldn't have mentioned it," she laughs nervously. She doesn't want to put any more weight on your shoulders than she already has, because that's who she is, you suppose. But how can she expect you to ignore it when she looks like a sad dog staring into the rain on someone's front porch?

"We're best friends. I want to hear everything," you insist.

"He's been acting differently lately." Sejeong pauses. "Distant. Like there's something he isn't telling me."

"Do you think there might be?" you ask carefully.

"It's always something with work. Or a friend that really needs him. Or a family member or—fuck. I don't know."

"I'm sorry."

Sejeong sighs and runs a hand through her hair. There are unshed tears in her eyes. This bastard is making her cry. You want to smash something, preferably his head.

"I don't wanna bother you with this shit," she whispers. She sounds exhausted.

"Don't say that," you retort softly, squeezing her hand in yours. It's clammy. "Don't ever say that again."

She gives a curt nod.

"God knows I've told you enough about my romantic misadventures over the years," you joke. Your chest tightens when Sejeong lets out the tiniest of laughs. Maybe you can still make this right, whatever this is. "Misery loves company."

"You know," she begins, pausing to look at you properly. There is something unreadable in her gaze, something that you've never seen before. It makes you hold your breath in anticipation of whatever is to come. "If there's one person I could choose to be miserable with, it would be you."

For a brief second, you forget that time exists.

"Well, I'm very honoured," you reply eventually. There's another pause where you ponder what to say next. Then, simply, because that seems like the easiest answer: "Do you want me to go beat him up?"

Sejeong laughs and punches you in the arm.

"I thought you were a pacifist?"

"Yeah, but exceptions must be made sometimes."

She raises an eyebrow at you. You can't tell what she's thinking. "For me?"

"Yes."

It feels like standing on a cliff. You want nothing more than to jump, to feel freefall in your whole body. The only problem is that you'll most certainly die. The ground below is made of jagged rocks and bad ideas. Yet, here you stand, willing to do anything in the world for the beautiful girl next to you. Even if it means lying broken beyond repair.

Sejeong breaks your trance when she explains, "There's this girl he works with. We had dinner together with some people from their office two weeks ago, and... I don't know. They just seemed off. She kept looking at him. You know that look? The one where they linger on someone just a bit too long."

"So that's what gave it away?"

"Well, that and the rumour. They had a thing before he met me. It's over now, or it was." A single tear rolls down her cheek. She wipes it away quickly, seemingly irritated at herself. You frown. Sejeong has no reason to be ashamed of being hurt. She should be allowed to shed tears, even buckets full if necessary. You wouldn't judge. "At least that's what he said. He promised me it was over. But... God."

You reach forward to wipe the tears from her cheeks. Her lips tremble, so you quickly move your eyes back up. Staring at her lips is dangerous territory.

"You don't deserve this shit," you say resolutely.

Sejeong chuckles sarcastically. "Then why do I keep ending up here?"

That question stings. Not because it's directed at you—it isn't—but rather because you know the answer. Sejeong has been in this kind of position too many times to count. She attracts guys like honey does flies; every single time, with no exceptions. Only the worst seem to make it past the rest. Sejeong gets caught in their deceitful net time and time again, only to inevitably break her heart after months and months of manipulation disguised as devotion.

"Want my honest answer?"

"Yes."

"I think it's because you're the sort of person that believes the best in everyone. And that is a beautiful trait. I love that you do that. I really do. But sometimes..." you trail off, not quite sure how to continue without sounding accusatory.

"Sometimes I get screwed over," Sejeong finishes. You nod in response. "You're right. I guess it's my fault for trusting too easily."

"No," you shake your head. "It's not your fault. That part is absolutely wonderful. It's just..." You're suddenly hesitant. What if Sejeong takes this the wrong way and shuts you out?

"What?" she probes.

"Have you ever heard the expression 'you can't see the tree for the woods'?"

"Sounds stupid."

"It means you can't see what's right in front of your nose," you explain.

Sejeong stares at you for a long time. You think she understands, but it's impossible to know. It would probably be better that way—if she understood and did nothing about it. You aren't supposed to feel this way about her. How many times haven't you imagined what it would be like if things were different? If circumstances were perfect, if her current guy hadn't appeared out of anywhere and swept her off her feet before you'd even realised what was happening.

But that's just your luck.

"Thank you," Sejeong whispers. "Can we, um, watch something? I don't wanna think about this right now."

You let out an awkward cough. "Yeah. Yeah, of course. Do you remember when you forced me to watch Twilight, and I spent the entirety of the movie complaining about how terrible it was?"

"You still watched all of them with me." A tiny grin appears on her face. Thank God.

"That was truly the highest form of torture," you joke. "I hope you brought something better today. Please don't tell me you downloaded another movie about sparkly vampires."

Sejeong punches your arm. "I'll have you know I am extremely cultured nowadays."

"Yeah? Show me then."

A couple of hours pass and everything feels decidedly normal. You rest against the arm of the couch and Sejeong rests against you. You make jokes at the expense of the film as you always do and she laughs that soft, carefree laugh of hers. The credits roll and Sejeong sits up, stretching her limbs like a cat after a nap. You smile at the familiarity of it all. For a moment it doesn't matter what she has—or hasn't—been crying over.

"I'm tired," she says. She blinks slowly as if to prove it to herself. It's quite endearing, actually.

"Yeah?" you ask nonchalantly.

"Will you let me stay here tonight?" Her voice is small, unsure. But why? It's not the first time she has stayed here. This place is practically a second home to her.

"Like you need to ask," you retort lightly as you stand up and look down at her.

She opens her mouth to speak, but that's when her phone rings. When she sees his name flashing across the screen, she visibly freezes. Annoyance seeps into you like acid rain. His nerve—to call at such an hour, and expect her to pick up. Sejeong just watches, almost paralyzed, until eventually, she does pick up.

"Hey," is all she says. The reply is much longer. You can't make out the words he's saying but the tone tells you all you need to know.

"I was going to," Sejeong replies tersely. Silence. Then: "I told you already, I went over to—" Pause. She swallows thickly. "You didn't tell me you were going out." A longer stretch of silence, during which his voice gradually increases in volume. Suddenly Sejeong sits bolt upright. Her eyes grow wide with confusion and disbelief.

"Me!?" She shouts. "He's my best friend! I wouldn't—" Another pause. She takes a deep breath. "No. No, that isn't fair. You can't—"

It sounds like he hangs up. Sejeong doesn't move. Her hands are shaking violently.

"Do I even wanna know?"

"I should go home," she murmurs flatly.

"To him? To the guy who's probably just fucked his co-worker?"

Sejeong turns to glare at you, eyes cold as ice. You immediately regret your words.

"I'm sorry," you quickly amend. "That was uncalled for. It's none of my business. I shouldn't have said that."

"Why?" she asks bluntly. Your heartbeat picks up in a hurry. There's anger in her eyes. Anger that could turn against you so quickly.

"Why what?" you reply defensively.

"Why don't you wanna be with anyone? You've rejected every single person who's tried to get close to you since we were sixteen. There's got to be a reason."

The world grinds to a halt. Time, space, and life itself stop existing for a minute while you consider your options. On the one hand, you could lie; come up with a suitable excuse and maybe she won't push for more. On the other hand, you could simply admit to the truth that's haunted you for years.

You open your mouth. Close it. Fuck.

Sejeong stands up, wading in the silence towards you. You can't help but take a step backwards. In that split second, you're sure she knows—and yet you cannot tell.

"Have you ever loved anyone?" Sejeong demands to know.

Your heartbeat roars in your ears. "I don't understand why you're asking me this," you choke out. A part of you wishes you were back there on the cliff. At least then you could've jumped off of your own accord, with a little dignity left intact.

"I need to know," is all Sejeong says. Her gaze is relentless. You hate it. It makes you want to claw your own skin off—and there are truths under there that you plan to take to the grave.

"Why?"

"Because I need to know if what I'm going to do next is the right thing."

She stands beside you now. On the edge of that cliff, though it's starting to feel more like you're on the roof of your car. Staring up at the stars on some forgotten summer night. The jump seems more like a flight.

"I have," you admit. Somehow it seems easier than to try and fight whatever force is controlling the both of you. It feels strangely liberating.

"But you won't allow yourself to do anything about it." You know her well enough to discern a question from a statement, no matter how carefully she might try to veil them as the latter.

"It's complicated," you say quietly. She's so close to you now that you can hear the hitch in her breath. Why is she pushing this? "Why are you doing this?"

Her eyes flit from yours to your lips, then back again. So quickly. One, two. But you saw it. And your entire body tingles in anticipation. You'll dare move away—not now, not when the leap of faith feels more like a hop.

She doesn't say anything else. One more small step and her body collides with yours. Lips press against lips and suddenly, all thought scatters. Sejeong tangles her fingers through your hair and pulls. A gasp escapes you before you regain control and kiss her properly. It's frantic, rushed. Years of pining bleed out with every touch. You grab her, pull her as close to your body as possible, and lose yourself completely. Something is swelling inside you. A feeling so large and uncontainable that you think your chest is going to explode any second.

It is indescribable.

All of it—the sensation of kissing her, holding her—surpasses description. You're falling from that cliff, but she's holding you, and before you can hit the rocks she's dragging you to the couch and climbing on top of you.

It feels unreal. The entire world disappears as your lips find hers again and again and again. You don't care to question what happens after. This moment is yours, forever branded in your memories, and nothing can take that away from you. Even if it ends here—even if she were to walk away now—it would've been worth it. Completely and irrevocably.

When you finally part to catch your breath, you can't help but stare at her in awe. She's so beautiful. A masterpiece. Your hand moves to her cheek almost automatically. Sejeong lets her head fall against it with a soft sigh.

"Wow," she whispers.

"Yeah," you croak.

"Please don't regret this in the morning." Her voice is so quiet, filled with so much pain, that it breaks your heart. Your own fears are secondary.

"I never could," you breathe. Then you lean in to kiss her again, slower this time, savouring every sensation as if it might be the last. By some miracle she responds eagerly, fingers wrapping around the collar of your shirt as she holds you steady. You have no idea where this leaves the two of you, but you want her closer—now. You reach around and slide your hands under her thighs, pulling gently upwards. She follows your lead, settling against your lap in a way that makes the situation undeniably real.

As you kiss, her hips start moving back and forth. Soft, shallow movements. Little whimpers escape her throat and fall directly into your mouth. Fuck. She moans—actually moans—into the kiss and a violent shiver travels through your whole body. You break away momentarily to look at her face, flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes staring back at you.

"Do that again," you whisper against her lips.

"Make me," she pants.

The next kiss is searing, open-mouthed, and accompanied by Sejeong grinding her hips against you. Harder now. Unrelenting. Your hands travel up her waist, slipping beneath her blouse to feel warm skin underneath. You feel every tremble of her body when your fingernails drag lightly across her flesh. A gasp—then she leans backwards, with her arms outstretched and clinging behind your neck, to look you dead in the eye as she continues moving her hips against you.

"Sejeong... What are we—"

"Shh."

Your hands snake further up her shirt. Her back arches in response as she grinds down hard, moaning loudly. Your eyes flutter shut briefly to enjoy the sensations—the sounds—coming from her. You force them open once more because you can't miss this show for anything. You push the shirt up and over her chest. Her hands slip from behind your neck momentarily so that you can get the garment over her head. And then she is there before you, bra and sweatpants-clad, panting softly and waiting.

"Sejeong—"

"Fuck me." It is barely more than a whimper, but it rattles the very core of your being.

"What?"

She lunges forward and kisses you forcefully. There are tears in her eyes—tears you didn't notice until now. Her desperation bleeds through.

"Please," she whispers into your mouth, her voice breaking slightly. "Please."

You can't deny her. How could you? You're unfastening the clasp of her bra and your hands are everywhere on her. Pulling her closer, exploring every inch of bare skin you can get your hands on. Her fingers start unbuttoning your shirt—clumsily, but getting the job done. Once open, her nails dig into your bare shoulders, as if testing out whether you're really here, tangible and real. As if you could disappear at any moment and leave her stranded. A loud groan escapes her when your fingers brush against her nipples.

"You're so fucking beautiful," you murmur into her ear. She whines at the words, nails digging deeper into your skin.

The friction between your legs is driving you mad. You've got the burning urge to pick her up and slam her into the nearest wall, but you savour what you have. First, you kiss her neck, then it's a trail down her collarbones. Your teeth nibble playfully at the skin until she moans, begging you to do something. You obey, leaning in to flick your tongue across a nipple before swirling it around the bud. Her fingers fly into your hair and hold you against her breast.

"Holy shit."

Your mouth latches on tighter. Sucking. Biting. The heat pooling between you grows more intense. Eventually, you detach and move on to the next, eliciting more delicious sounds from the girl above you. All those nights spent fantasising about exactly this don't come close to the real experience. You're supporting her, around the waist and the small of her back, while she leans back in your lap, presenting herself to you.

You appreciate every inch of her slender figure. By eye and then by tongue. You draw constellations along her skin, your touch is feather-light. Across her toned stomach to her hips, then right up the side of her body. She throws an arm above her head and giggles lightly as you lick all the way up underneath it. You follow a path to her armpit. Sejeong giggles more when you begin to nibble there too. When you raise your eyes to meet hers she blushes fiercely.

"Weirdo."

"Just appreciating you," you murmur, pressing soft kisses against her shoulder and up to her neck.

"Mm. I like it," she replies hoarsely.

So you spend some time like this. Appreciating her bare body and making her squirm. Kissing, licking, and biting everything that you can possibly reach until her writhing becomes borderline violent. Then she grabs a hold of your jaw, looks you deep in the eyes, and utters the most sinful words you've ever heard her say.

"Enough teasing. I want to ride your cock now."

Every inch of you lights on fire. From your forehead to the tips of your toes, you feel flames lick at your insides. Sejeong climbs off you without another word and starts pushing her sweats from her hips. You watch, spellbound, as she wiggles out of them. Her panties follow suit.

Then she turns to face you. Standing fully nude, absolutely breathtaking in every sense of the word. A goddess. Every bit as perfect as you had imagined. Even your fantasies weren't this good; nowhere near as intoxicating as this moment right now.

"You have ten seconds before I sit on your face instead," she deadpans, you both laugh. At least she hasn't lost her humour.

You unbuckle your belt and shuffle them down as best you can while still seated. Enough that she can reach down and pull your cock free from its confines. Your eyes roll to the back of your skull when she wraps her slim fingers around it. Pumping up and down. You're hard already, unbelievably so, and when she drags her thumb across the head of your dick it actually twitches. You suck in a deep breath, willing yourself to focus.

And then she sits on your lap, sliding along the length of your cock. Fuck. She repeats it a few times. Back and forth, slicking your cock with her wetness.

"I always pictured this," she admits.

"Really?" you croak.

"God yeah, I remember back in college. I must have rubbed one out to you more times than I can count." She smirks at you then—a wicked smirk that makes your entire body shiver. A filthy admission to you and you only. She does it again, drags her wetness along you. How on earth are you supposed to remain composed when she says things like that and does things like this? You wrap an arm around her back and pull her closer, staring at her as if seeing her for the very first time.

"You can't say things like that, I'm gonna—"

She cuts you off with her tongue in your mouth. Kissing you like it's the last thing she'll ever do, and your lips the only form of sustenance she'll ever need. It gives way to her frantic little moan, desperate and unrestrained. For the life of you you can't comprehend what is happening, only react, and fuck if it isn't the most incredible experience you've ever had. Her skin is burning against yours, hungry and yielding to your every touch.

Sejeong shifts slightly and grabs a hold of you properly. Your eyes widen when the tip of your dick brushes against something wet, warm, and soft. The very centre of her. She repositions herself, now holding you carefully against her, and then... slides down the length of your cock, pausing halfway down. The pleasure is so acute that you cannot control the way your back arches off the couch, and neither do you control the profanities that spill out from your lips.

A sinful grin spreads across her face. As her legs are pinned around your waist, you cannot move, but Sejeong certainly can. And boy, does she know how. She starts bouncing herself up and down, riding you so expertly and looking so good doing it. You've thought of this so many times—having sex with your best friend, of all people—but you did not picture it like this.

"This okay?" she murmurs in your ear. You hear the smile in her voice.

You utter the only word you can muster: "Yes."

She laughs airily, placing a kiss on your temple as she continues her rhythm. When she moans—a long, drawn-out moan, half-pained, half-pleasured—and throws her head back, you stare up at her, eyes drinking in the beauty that is in a position so incredibly vulnerable yet completely in control. How you long to capture this moment and keep it somewhere safe forever. She looks down at you now. Her heavy-lidded eyes pin you to your spot as much as the physical manifestation of her pinned against your skin. She traces her fingers down your jaw, your neck, and the top of your chest.

"I wish he could see me now," Sejeong hisses, anguish evident in her voice.

"You look so fucking good."

"He doesn't know what he had," she laughs bitterly. "Fuck him."

"Fuck him," you echo. Sejeong smirks and moves her hips more fluidly. Goddamn. Her tight little cunt feels so perfect clenched around your cock.

She watches your face closely as she keeps riding you. As you keep clutching her hips and help her along, grinding deeper. Groaning when she throws her hips forward faster and faster. Her cunt is so hot and tight. She sucks at the life seeping out of your pulsating cock and squeezes it with her inner muscles in ways that no one has ever done before. Sometimes she pulls completely off you, her breath shuddering as you twitch, only to take you deep inside her again.

Your hands have a mind of their own, sneaking upwards to grip her neck. You give it a gentle squeeze, just enough to get her attention. All the while you're staring intensely into her eyes. They've become glassy, intoxicated, more than just wanting but longing for it. Her voice is hoarse, strained, as she says, "How have I been so stupid? All this time—you're right here, and I never—"

"It doesn't matter. None of that matters."

"You're so—fuck."

Her body trembles and she falls forward onto you. She's gripping your arms, nails sinking into your flesh. Sejeong's breath grows increasingly laboured. After a long string of expletives, she lets her head rest on your shoulder as you snake an arm around her back and support her. Her whole body is rigid, teetering on the edge of an orgasm.

"Never felt this good," she forces the words out amid moans as you buck your hips up into her, picking up the slack as she begins to falter. The rhythm is quick now, urgent, filled with unbridled passion and everything left unspoken for too long.

When Sejeong cums, you feel it all around you—her pussy quivering, leaking her arousal around you, dripping down your thighs and saturating you, almost drowning in the intensity. It makes her moan into the crook of your neck and rock her hips, fucking herself while trying desperately to quiet the sounds of her ecstasy against your body. But that is unthinkable, to silence someone like that, and you tell her so. Whispering the filthiest things in her ear as she throbs around your cock, dragging out the last tremors of pleasure of her orgasm as much as you possibly can. She spills everything out into your shoulder, every word, every whimper. Until at last, you can feel her sagging in your lap, breathing heavily and spent.

"Keep going," she pants, tightening her grip on your arm. "Don't stop."

She throws herself to the side, pulling you with her, and somehow lands flat on her back with your body on top of her. You wince at the sudden shift. But not for long. Because Sejeong opens her legs wide, hooks her calves around your hips, and tells you again not to stop.

You smirk and lean forward, trapping her beneath your body and capturing her lips in a sensual kiss. It is deliberate, lingering. Her arms fly up and tangle themselves through your hair, locking you together. When your tongues meet, you sigh deeply against her. There is a warmth settling over you. Languid, dream-like. Like you're both floating through clouds, carried away by the sweetest of breezes.

There is nowhere else in the world that you would rather be than right here, between her legs.

You rock into her, once, then twice, each time more intense than the last. The angle is entirely different. You grab a hold of one of her legs and hitch it up a bit, allowing yourself to thrust deeper inside her.

"Are you okay?"

"Mm. Move slower. Nice and slow," she instructs.

And you do. Eventually, a hand comes up to cup the nape of your neck. Sejeong stares into your eyes and your breath catches. Then you're kissing, again and again, but there is not so much desperation and anger anymore, but something else. It is the feel of her hips meeting yours, the way you press your bodies together, the softness of her lips and the taste of her mouth. Her breaths rush from her lips to yours, from hers into you.

Sweat starts to bead at your temples as you rock into her. Slow, deep, patient strokes. It is not desperate fucking anymore, or an attempt to pour all of your heartbreak into some meaningless action. It's almost reverential—the way you're holding each other, soft and sure. A sweet torture, a sublime suffering, for as long as time allows.

You don't talk. Your mouths say nothing, at least. With your bodies, however, your fingertips whisper praise against her skin. Spirits float free and serenade each other. Sounds escape her that you haven't even dreamed of. Broken, wanton, as if wrenched out of her. They rise above and meet in a higher plane of reality, where two minds are one.

It takes time. A slow build to the crescendo. You know when you've struck the final note by the way she cries out, over and over again, her pretty little hole convulsing, spasming around your cock. She wants to squirm away but has nowhere to go. You refuse to let her. You smile against her neck and sink your teeth into the skin there.

Soon you follow, groaning her name into the warm flesh. It's a flood—your insides are melting, pouring out from your loins and into her heat, her insides contracting, trapping every ounce inside. Hot, sticky, yours. This feeling. It is as if your heart has grown wings, a phoenix born anew from the ashes of who you used to be. You don't have to be lost anymore. She will carry you, always, her fingernails tracing patterns in your damp skin. There is nothing to fear.

Sejeong whines and moans softly as you fill her. One more careful thrust and you still, collapsing on top of her as the waves subside. All the while she is there, stroking the back of your neck and quietly reciting every piece of filth that she can think of.

You wonder whether this will last longer than the night.

God. Would you be okay with that?

When you eventually move back to look at her, to make sure she's okay, there are tears in her eyes. Uncertainty overwhelms you. Before you can react, before you can ask what is wrong, Sejeong cups your cheek. "Thank you," she whispers, eyes boring into yours with an intensity that takes your breath away. This girl. All these years. All the wasted time. It feels right being with her; everything is finally where it should have been all along.

"You were worth the wait," you breathe. You place a kiss against her brow before rolling off and settling next to her.

"Do you..." Her voice fades. She runs a finger along your collarbone, eyes anywhere but yours. "Do you want this to be a one-time thing?

"No," you answer without hesitation. You catch her hand in yours, entangling your fingers, willing her to understand everything that you're unable to tell her.

Sejeong smiles. Genuine, unapologetic. For the first time in months, she looks happy. Fuck him, indeed. "Good," she says with a soft laugh that evaporates any of her lingering doubts. Her eyes flick to your lips and she whispers, "So, uh, we've got some lost time to make up for."

"Yeah?" you whisper while rolling her back over and climbing over her. "If there's a debt to be paid..." You start trailing kisses down her neck, down her sternum, grinning at the tiny shivers it elicits. "What better time than now?"

Your kisses lead you over her toned stomach. Once you reach the juncture between her thighs, you pick up her leg and set it over your shoulder. Sejeong is already squirming, anticipating what is to come. You take a look at her—mussed hair and flushed cheeks, mouth slightly open, beautiful, tempting. It feels almost gratuitous—that you're able to see her like this. It makes you pull her even closer, and stick your tongue into her center. Her upper body lifts almost immediately and her eyes fly open. A shaky whimper leaves her lips.

She's right. There is a lot of catching up to do. Luckily for her, there's still the whole night ahead of you and a lot more you'd like to show her.

[moonstruckme]

hey ! by all means ignore or delete this if you're not comfortable with it, but could i request remus x fem reader where the reader has been SAd in the past and is mostly doing okay, but one time whilst kissing with remus she gets nervous ?? and remus is just sweet and comforting and trying to show reader they can trust him

again feel free to ignore because i know it could be a bit triggering but it's also nice to imagine a healing journey where you are safe with another person after all that :)

Thank you for requesting angel, hope you like it <3

cw: allusion to past SA, reader gets triggered, some semi-awkward but very loving conversation around that

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 988 words

You love Remus’ apartment. You love how quiet it is, how it always smells like books and fresh laundry and how there’s always at least one mug on the coffee table with the tea bag still sitting in it. You love the window by his kitchen table, and how he’ll sit with you there on rainy mornings and watch the people going by with their coats and umbrellas, and you love that he’s added another hook on the wall by the door, just next to his, for you to hang your key on when you come by. You love his wood floors, and the water pressure in his shower, and the sofa he got secondhand that’s more plush than any you’ve ever sat on. 

Remus’ miracle sofa is so comfortable it doesn’t even cause a twinge in your back when he leans you back against the armrest, throw pillow fallen to the floor, and kisses you so that you curve your neck forward to meet him. It’s soft enough to dip accommodatingly for the hand Remus slides underneath your lower back, pulling you up into him as he presses you down. Its velvety cover feels cozy and familiar beneath your fingers splayed across the cushion to steady yourself. 

All things considered, you’re too comfortable to account for the feeling that starts up in your chest. It could be Remus’ hand pressing surely into your back, or his tongue skimming across the inside of your lip, or merely the sound of your panting breaths, quick and overlapping in the quiet apartment. All you know is that it feels tight, and it doesn’t go away, inching upward until your heart is hammering in your throat, a blockage for any air you try to take in. 

Remus can tell something is wrong. He pauses just before you push him off, taking his hand from your back and pulling your mouth from his with an unsteady breath. Maybe it’s only you that’s really panting. 

“Alright?” Remus asks, soft but tense. He doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, I just—” You take a long inhale. It’s shallow and unsatisfying, but you feel better. “Sorry.” 

“That’s okay. Do you want me to move?” 

He starts to sit back, but you keep hold of his wrist. You don’t want him away from you. 

“No,” you say. “Sorry, it’s not you. I just started to freak out a little, I don’t know why. Sorry.” 

“Sweetheart.” Remus’ voice gentles. He knows about your history. It’s something you talked about early on, once you knew you could trust him but before you did anything more than hold hands. He’s always been exceedingly understanding about it. “You don’t need to be sorry. You’re fine. What can I do?” 

You take another breath. “I don’t think you need to do anything. I feel better now.” 

Remus nods. He looks cautious. “Was it something I did?” 

“I don’t know.” You fight the urge to apologize again, but you hope it shows in your expression. “I don’t think so.” 

“Okay, that’s alright.” Remus takes the hand that’s holding his wrist. He smooths his thumb across your palm, and you realize he’s not touching you anywhere else to avoid upsetting you. Your throat tightens. “Do you want to stop for now?” 

You shake your head. “I want to keep going.” 

“Are you sure? We could do something else.” 

“I’m sure,” you say. Grasp the sides of his sweater, pulling him closer. “I want to keep kissing you.” 

“Okay.” Remus’ lips quirk, and he grows a bit bolder, sliding his hand up the length of your arm to cup your cheek. “What would make you comfortable, lovely?” 

“I am comfortable with you,” you tell him earnestly. 

“I’m glad,” he says. “And I believe you, but that doesn’t mean that I’m okay with making you feel…with making you nervous like that. Even if it’s just for a second, yeah?” He strokes his thumb over your cheek. Heat flares in its path. “I have an idea.” 

You sit up a bit, eager. “What is it?” 

“What if, instead of me touching you, you put my hands where you want them? I’ll just leave them wherever you like, and if you start to get nervous again we’ll take a break.” His eyes flicker up to yours, cautious. “How does that sound?” 

“That sounds…” You chew your lip, stopping when Remus’ gaze drops to the motion. “That’s really sweet, Remus, but we can’t do that forever. It’s not fair to you.” 

He laughs. “Sweetheart, it’s more than fair to me. I get to kiss you. I get to be in the same room with you.” You grin bashfully at that, and his thumb dimples into your cheek, a fond pressure. “We could do it like that forever if you wanted, but we could also just take it one step at a time. Yeah? We’ll figure it out eventually, but this might be somewhere to start.” 

You nod, slowly. “Okay. That makes sense. Um…” You pick up his free hand tentatively, growing more confident when Remus squeezes your fingers. You place it on your side. His long fingers splay over your ribcage, kind and reassuring. “And this one,” you touch the wrist of the hand on your face, “you can leave here.” 

Remus’ smile reminds you of a sunrise, the way it blooms slowly, bringing color to his face and warmth to the room. “Yeah? Just like that?” 

“Yeah,” you echo. “That’s good, please.” 

“Oh, sweetheart, there’s no need to say please.” He dips down, pecking teasingly at your lower lip. “You know I’m happy if you’re happy. Let me know if you change your mind, alright?” 

“Mhm.” It’s all the response you can manage, your mind already lost to the feel of his lips on yours. 

“Mhm.” There’s laughter somewhere in Remus’ tone. He kisses you impossibly softer. “Just keep me in the loop.” 

[lilybillyotherstuff]

SORRY I have too many words to ramble about

As an artist, where visual art is the only thing I'm good at, I've done it constantly from when I was really young to now. I'm now in college in an art program! 5/6 of my classes are art based and it can get to be A LOT.

When you're stuck to a criteria, you don't get to be as creative as you could be otherwise. We almost never colour anything! Ofc, this program (1yr) is kind of relearning the base of art so you can get good enough to apply to the other programs (I struggle with consistent art & 3d layouts so I figured it'd be helpful).

But man, it really drains my want to do any art outside of the program. I was looking at my sketches from a year or two ago, and they're so much more creative than any of my recent art :( I did drawtober this year just to put some time aside to be creative with my art, I did every day! It sort of worked? It helped a bit if anything. :)

What I'm saying is,, if you're like me, where art is basically your only option. Please try and make time to be creative! On your own! Try your best not to get burnt out, breaks are okay!!!!!

Like the actual post im reblogging, please don't make art for the one purpose of being sold, it will make art a chore and that's not what art is.

If you make art for selling, this isn't me yelling at you that you're terrible, far from it, I'd love to sell art! Just leave time to be creative on your own!!!! Because it's a good chance you draw exclusively fanart to meet a criteria!!!

Make a throwaway sketch account!!! I have one on insta to throw all my sketches & experimental artworks on, i have a few close friends who like my posts on there and that's all! They get to see me be creative :)

Of course, don't listen to the funny internet people, if selling art is your dream, do it!!!!! Just try to make it not feel like a chore! Have another hobby (like my painting) to be creative in!!! Please don't get burnt out!! Also good luck :)

also we fucked up as a society the moment we started telling teens and aspiring artists to conflate being an artist with building a brand as if the two things are inextricable. the name of the game if you want to share your art is to work a job and sell yourself as aesthetizied content. back in my day we could just POST SHIT. to deviantart! what the fuck!

[parkerslatte]

The Purest Kind of Love || Part Three

Azriel x Fem!Reader x Eris Vanserra

Word Count: 6.2k

Warnings: murder attempt. minor panic attack.

Summary: Eris Vanserra arrives at the Night Court to discuss trade deals, alliances and anything that would benefit him as High Lord. During a meeting, things go south quite quickly.

The Purest Kind of Love Masterlist

A Court of Thorns and Roses Masterlist

PREVIOUS / NEXT

•••

Weeks had passed since Y/N had felt that damned bond snap with Eris Vanserra. There were days where the bond was faint, as if it no longer existed but on others, she felt a strong pull, barely able to resist it. Concentrating on her work on those particular days was beginning to get increasingly difficult. All of her work had been conducted from her own cottage, she hadn’t given anything to Rhys as of yet, their final conversation replaying in her mind. Anger coursed through her veins whenever she thought about it. If she saw Rhys’s face anytime soon she was sure she was going to connect her palm to it. 

Y/N hadn’t seen anyone from the Inner Circle since the day after Eris’s celebration. For once, she was not sure about how they would react to the news of her new mating bond– assuming Azriel had already told them. She knew that there would be a few angry faces amongst the group, Mor’s especially.

With a sigh Y/N pulled away from her open notebook, rubbing her eyes. The words she had written had only begun to blur together. Her concentration had only begun to slip once again. It didn’t help that she could still faintly smell Azriel’s scent. Many of his clothes were still within her cottage, he hadn’t come to collect them yet. There were many times where Y/N had considered returning them to him herself but just the thought of returning the only things that held his scent made her heart sting. She also wanted to give him the space that he requested. 

A knock sounded through the cottage and Y/N perked up. She hadn’t spoken to anyone in weeks– she probably hadn’t even spoken aloud in weeks. She stood to her feet and walked the short distance from her office to the front door and opened it wide. The beaming face of Mor stood on the other side. 

“Mor?” Y/N said, surprised to see her. 

“Are you happy to see me?” she asked. “Because I am happy to see you. It’s been weeks since I have even heard from you.”

Y/N laughed nervously. “I’ve been busy with my work.”

Mor hummed, as if she didn’t believe it. Thankfully she didn’t call Y/N out on it. Mor held up a letter in her hand. “This came for you a few days ago. I thought Azriel would have delivered it to you but I haven’t seen him around either.”

Oh, Y/N thought. Mor didn’t know. 

“I haven’t seen Azriel either,” Y/N said, her voice sad. “Our relationship ended, Mor.”

Surprise lit up Mor’s face. “You split up?”

Y/N nodded. “A few weeks ago.”

“I’m sorry,” Mor said, gesturing to Y/N to sit down. “How are you?”

“Honestly, I am finding it hard,” Y/N said. “Having someone beside you for years and then they are suddenly gone is certainly an adjustment. I still have some of his clothes here.”

“I can take them to him for you–”

“No,” Y/N cut her off. She cleared her throat. “No, it’s okay. I’ll send them to him soon.”

Mor nodded and handed Y/N the letter. “I’m unsure of who it is from as there was no name given.”

The writing on the letter was exquisite and beautiful and was a piece of artwork within itself. It was much better than the fast scrawl that filled Y/N’s notebooks. 

“As much as I would love to stay here with you, Emerie and I planned our own trip to visit the Day Court,” Mor said. 

“It’s okay,” Y/N said, her eyes snapping up from the letter. “Enjoy yourselves.”

A small smile toyed at Mor’s lips. “We will, I’ll tell her you said hell0.”

A long hug and another goodbye, Mor was gone, leaving Y/N alone in her cottage once more. 

***

The letter sat on the table unopened. A wax seal on the back of the letter clearly indicated who it was from. The wax was a near perfect match of the sender's eyes. Not that Y/N would recognise them immediately of course. 

Why would Eris send me a letter? Y/N thought.

As she took the letter back in her hands, Y/N contemplated opening it. As much as she liked to believe the stories that depicted Eris as a terrible male, Y/N personally didn’t see it. They had only shared a dance and a few conversations together but for some reason she could see that careful constructed mask he hides behind. It had slipped just before he left her room the morning after his celebration. Somehow she believed that her whole family was wrong about him. 

Y/N carefully broke the seal of the letter and took the parchment out. It faintly smelt of a crackling fire. Y/N couldn’t help but breathe it in. Once the letter was unfolded, it was written in the same delicate handwriting that was on the front. It was shorter than Y/N was expecting. She began to read.

—----

Dear Y/N, 

I am currently on a tour around Prythian to work out trade deals and build stronger relationships between my court and others and hopefully fix all the hurt my father caused. I only have two stops to go before I finish this little task of mine; Night and Winter. Due to circumstances in the Winter Court, I would need to visit the Night Court first. 

Now this is where my problem resides. The Night Court is your home and I do not wish to intrude. It is true that we have a mating bond between us and it is true that it connects our souls. Though I do not wish for you to be uncomfortable in your own home. If you truly feel uncomfortable with me being in your home court, I can conduct my business from my home in Autumn. 

If you wish for me to stay in Autumn, don’t open this letter. 

If you wish for me to come to Night, open this letter–

—----

Y/N stopped reading as if she couldn’t believe her eyes. Though she couldn’t help the laugh that slipped past her lips. The nerve of him, Y/N thought. Though he did bring a genuine smile to her lips for the first time in weeks. 

Truthfully, Y/N wouldn’t mind for him to come to the Night Court. If she did feel uncomfortable in his presence, she would simply stay away. Even with the mating bond’s desperate attempts to pull her closer. Saoise cast her eyes back down to the letter. 

—----

It may be obvious to you now that I am indeed on my way to the Night Court, depending on when you read this, I might already be there now. But I am being serious when I say that if you truly are uncomfortable with me around, happily tell me and I will be gone before you even have the chance to blink. 

I hope this letter finds you well. 

Your mate

Kind regards, 

Eris Vanserra, High Lord of Autumn

—----

The smile tugged at the corner of Y/N’s mouth and she consciously removed it. She folded the letter and placed it back in its envelope, tucking it away in the drawer under the table. There was a possibility that Eris was already in the Night Court. The thought made her chest contort, nerves itching. She shouldn’t feel nervous. Eris was her mate and she knew how to handle him, evident from the dance they shared. 

Perhaps the reason Mor and Emerie were going to spend some time in the Day Court was because of Eris’s arrival. Why hadn’t anyone told her about it? Despite how Rhys might not think of her as part of his family, she was still a member of the Inner Circle whether he liked it or not. Her research was a large part of what kept the court running and kept people safe, even if Rhys deemed them not worth saving like the people in Hewn City. Y/N would go out of her way to warn him about possible dangers that target the area. 

If Eris was meant to be arriving at the Night Court, she should have been informed of it. Perhaps he hadn’t arrived yet and that was the reason. Though deep down, Y/N already knew that both Rhys and Cassian would choose Azriel’s comfort over her. If Azriel didn’t want to be within a certain distance of her, Rhys and Cassian would do all they could to make it happen. 

Y/N closed the drawer containing the letter from Eris and returned to her research, her mind becoming consumed. 

***

A whole day had passed and Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about the letter Eris had sent. By her estimations, he should have already been in the Night Court for at least No one had reached out to her. Even Eris, which Y/N hated to admit, disappointed her a little. The work she had been doing had been completed and Y/N had felt fidgety. For the majority of her work, she would assign herself jobs but Rhys did task her with conducting research for him. She had completed it all and had no motivation to do any of her own. 

The hot mug in Y/N’s hand was placed upon the table as she walked over to the front door. Being trapped in the cottage where Azriel’s scent still lingered was not doing her any good. 

Y/N swung the door open and a surprised Cassian stood just down the cobblestone pathway. A frown found its way onto Y/N’s face. 

“What are you doing here, Cassian?” Y/N asked.

Cassian chuckled nervously. “So I don’t get a hug of greeting?”

Y/N folded her arms across her chest. “No I don’t believe you will. Why are you here?”

Cassian sighed. “Eris is meeting with Rhys and the rest of us to discuss some trade deals and to strengthen his alliance with us.”

“And Rhys is the one who assigned you to get me?” Y/N asked.

“No,” Cassian answered and Y/N’s heart sank. If it wasn’t clear by her last conversation with Rhys, it was evident now that he didn’t even view Y/N as part of his Inner Circle. “It was actually Azriel who demanded that you be there as part of the Inner Circle.”

Surprise filled Y/N’s eyes. “Azriel demanded it?”

“He threatened to not attend the meeting himself if you weren’t there,” Cassian explained. 

Somehow that made Y/N feel worse. 

***

The tension in the room was thick and it only amused Eris to his core. While everyone around him was alert, he casually lounged in his chair, waiting for the meeting to begin. He wasn’t told the reason for the delay but he had noticed that both of the Illyrian warriors were nowhere to be seen. 

Rhysand sat at the head of the table with Fere by his side, a clear sense of who was actually in power. The smaller fae with short black hair, Eris hadn’t ever bothered to know her name, sat to his right, her piercing gaze never leaving him for a second. 

It had only been a matter of hours since Eris had been welcomed into the Night Court and he had yet to leave this very room. If he were to be confined for the week he was meant to be staying, Eris was sure that he would go insane. Despite his dislike towards certain members of Rhysand’s Inner Circle and the Night Court itself, Eris did have to admit that what he had seen of Velaris had been rather beautiful. 

The door to the room opened, cutting through the silence. The shadowsinger stepped inside, eyes full of carefully concealed rage. Eris watched his movements carefully as he slowly pulled out of the chair opposite him and took a seat, wings tucked tightly into his back, shadows restlessly moving over his shoulders. Just from the look of him, Eris could tell that he was finding it hard to keep his emotions in check. Perfect, Eris thought. 

Two more figures entered the room soon after. The first was Cassian, probably the only member of the Inner Circle who Eris could have a semi-pleasant conversation with. Stepping in after him however was the person who made his chest ache deliciously. 

That pull that Eris had tried his best to ignore the past few weeks was now pulled taunt as his eyes met Y/N’s. She was just as beautiful as she looked at his celebration. The only difference was the dark circles under her eyes. It was clear that she hadn’t been sleeping and Eris wanted to know the reason why. Perhaps he could do something to help her. But what if the reason she was losing sleep was because of him?

The stories the Inner Circle must have told her about him were certainly not pleasant. What if she was kept awake at night after finding out that she was mated to such a diabolical male. After all, that is what he wanted everyone to think when his father was alive. But knowing that Y/N most likely thought that way about him– that filled Eris with a sadness that was foreign to him. 

The chair next to Eris was pulled out and Y/N slowly sat down and shuffled the chair back in, her hands folded in her lap. 

“Now that everyone is here,” Rhysand began, his eyes lingering on Y/N for a brief moment and in that moment Eris fought the urge to reach across the table and connect his fist with his face. “I would firstly like to set some rules for this meeting.”

Eris rolled his eyes. “Rules? Are these rules for me or for you brainless servants?” Eris said, gesturing to Azriel and Cassian. Eris’s gaze fixated on Azriel. The shadowsinger’s gaze was locked on Eris and it seemed as if that he had no intention of looking away. “And if I may be completely honest. All of you are terrible hosts, locking me in a room with surveillance for hours, no offer of a drink or food. When I had my meeting with Helion, we had already discussed what we needed to and were sharing a bottle of wine on the balcony.”

The smile that spread across Rhysands face was nothing short of malicious. “My apologies, Eris. Would you like a glass of my finest wine?”

 “Absolutely not,” Eris replied, leaning back in his chair. “I wouldn’t put it past you to poison my glass.” Eris’s gaze slowly shifted to Y/N whose gaze was cast to the table. “Except Y/N here. Unlike all of you, she seemes to have her head actually screwed on.”

The shadows resting on Azriel’s shoulders moved around his body, seemingly readying to strike Eris at any moment– Eris simply ignored him. Y/N’s head lifted and looked at Eris and when their eyes locked once more, Eris couldn’t help the small twitch of the corner of his mouth. Y/N seemed to notice it as the corner of her mouth twitched too. The pull only became stronger. 

Clearing his throat, Eris turned to face Azriel who still hadn’t looked away from him, a burning hatred resided in his eyes. Eris smirked. “Are you jealous, Azriel? That I can get a female to smile at me while you simply pine from afar, struggling to gain even the smallest bit of affection. It's quite sad really.”

The shadows that rested upon Azriel’s shoulders reached out to Eris and the fury in Azriel’s eyes grew. Eris knew that he had touched a nerve. 

“Stop with the threatening look, Azriel. How do you ever wish to seduce anyone into your bed with an aura of murder surrounding you. No wonder you’ve been alone for centuries,” Eris said, casually crossing one leg over the other. 

Shadows wrapped around Eris’s throat and most air was cut off. The feeling of the tightness around his throat made Eris immediately panic. Azriel loomed over Eris as everyone around them tried to stop what was occurring. 

“Azriel,” Rhysand warned. “Stop this. You know what will happen if you harm him.”

“I don’t care,” Azriel growled. 

“Az,” Cassian said, placing a hand on the shadowisnger’s shoulder. Azriel just shrugged it off. “You need to stop.”

“Stop this!” Feyre demanded, looking between Eris and Azriel. 

“Azriel!” Y/N snapped. “Are you out of your fucking mind?”

For the first time since he entered the room, Azriel looked away from Eris and to Y/N. The tightness around his throat faltered but there was still no way for Eris to escape. He clawed at his throat but his hands only clawed at his skin. 

“Let him go now,” Y/N said, her voice dangerous. 

The shaowingers eyes found Eris’s again and the shadows tightened as if it were instinctual, as if they were connected to his emotions. It was beginning to get harder and harder to breathe. Eris desperately tried to claw at his neck again but it only made him scratch his own skin more, this time drawing blood. 

As he began to feel fainter and fainter, Eris couldn’t stop the rising panic within him. It was almost as if he could feel the ghost of his fathers hand wrapping around his neck. Eris scratched at his neck even more and drew more blood, desperate to breathe again. Black spots clouded his vision and all attempts from the Inner Circle to get Azriel to stop fell on deaf ears. 

“Azriel, please stop,” Y/N pleaded and Eris felt gentle hands rest on his shoulder. It was the only thing that grounded him against visions of his father looking over him with his hand around his neck. 

“Stop…” Eris begged Azriel. 

Something within Azriel’s eyes seemed to snap him back to reality as the shadows recoiled from Eris as if he had burnt them. They rested on Azriel’s shoulders before shrinking away entirely. Stumbling back, Azriel blinked as Eris’s chest heaved up and down, slowly getting air back into his lungs. 

“Azriel…” Y/N was the first to speak, a hint of disappointment in her tone. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Azriel said before he swiftly left the room. 

Eris continued to breathe heavily as Y/N’s hands remained on his shoulders. He wanted to shrink into her touch. Just feeling all eyes on him made him want to hide– he was too exposed, too vulnerable. Eris never wanted to feel that way again. 

“Why don’t we finish this meeting tomorrow once everything has calmed down?” Feyre suggested, looking at the blood smeared on Eris’s neck. 

“That would be a smart idea, Feyre darling,” Rhysand said. “Cassian, you can escort Eris to–”

“I will do it,” Y/N said firmly. “I don’t think he wants to be around any of you right now.”

Eris closed his eyes and allowed his body to slump against the chair as he tried to even out his breathing, nothing seemed to work. 

“But–” Rhysand began.

“I will take him to his room,” Y/N said, sending a glare Rhysand’s way. “Do you have a problem with that, Rhys?”

Rhysand studied Y/N for a moment, his eyes lingering on where her hands were gently holding onto Eris’s shoulders. He slowly nodded. “Of course not, Y/N. Make sure he doesn’t go anywhere anacompanied.”

 “I’m not a prisoner, Rhysand,” Eris said quietly. 

There was no reply as the footsteps of the Inner Circle slowly grew quieter as they all left the room until only Y/N and Eris remained. Eris’s chest still heaved up and down as his breathing still hadn't returned to normal. Beron’s phantom hands were still wrapped around his throat. 

“Let me clean that away,” Y/N said quietly, procuring a small cloth from thin air. 

When his eyes met Y/N’s, they were filled with concern as she looked at his neck. Eris didn’t want to know what it looked like. 

“I can clean it myself,” Eris mumbled, taking the rag from Y/N’s hands. 

A simple nod was her response. The scratches on his neck were already beginning to heal as Eris wiped the blood away, the previously white cloth now crimson. 

“Do you wish to return to your room?” Y/N asked. 

Eris chuckled, no humour behind it. “I’d rather not be concealed in a small room right now.”

The two sat together alone in the room until Eris’s breathing had evened out. The phantom hand still remained but the panic within his body was washed away. Almost immediately, a switch flipped in Eris as he turned to Y/N. The facade he put on lit up his face once more. 

“Well, why don’t you show me around Velaris? I’m sure someone as beautiful as you knows where the stunning sights are,” Eris suggested, a smirk toying at his lips. 

Y/N frowned, immediately seeing through the facade. “Cut the bullshit, Eris. You can parade this fake attitude to everyone else but not me.” A gentler expression replaced her frown. “You…are my mate. You don’t need to hide your true self away from me.”

Slowly but surely, the smirk fell from Eris’s face. “Mate? That is the first time I have heard you admit that aloud.”

“We have only had one conversation since it snapped,” Y/N said, an amused tone filling her voice. 

Eris huffed out a laugh, looking down at the blood stained cloth in his hand. “That is true. But it still feels…surreal that someone is telling me that I am their mate.”

Y/N sighed. “It is strange for me too. If a mating bond did snap for me, I thought it would be with…someone else.”

Eris raised an eyebrow. “And that someone is?”

A saddened expression fell upon Y/N’s face and Eris immediately regretted asking. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” 

“I apologise for asking,” Eris said, throwing the bloodied cloth on the table. 

“Don’t apologise,” Y/N said firmly.

Eris nodded and slouched back in the chair, all sense of formality disappearing from his posture. If it were anyone else but Y/N in his presence, Eris wouldn’t be caught dead slouching in his chair, but he felt…comfortable. 

“Well, aren’t you going to take me to my prison– I mean room?” Eris said. 

Y/N smiled. “The rooms might not be as grand as the rooms in the Autumn Court, but I assure you that your room isn’t a prison. It was my old room, actually.”

Eris suddenly perked up. “Your old room?”

Y/N nodded. “It was always the nicest room and now it is used as a guest room as Nesta demandes to make guests feel comfortable when they stay here. There have been a lot of…strange guests over the past few years. And I wasn’t going to take you there anyway. You said you didn’t want to be concealed in a small room so I’m taking you out to see Velaris.”

Surprise filled Eris’s body. “You are letting me leave?”

“Despite what Rhys tells you, Eris. You can go anywhere you want unsupervised. I trust you. If Rhys wants to shout at anyone about it, send him my way,” said Y/N, standing to her feet. 

“Now come on,” Y/N said. “This beautiful female, as you like to put it, is going to show you some stunning sights.”

***

Despite the sun being high in the sky, it didn’t stop Y/N from shivering as they walked down the cobblestone streets. Some stopped and stared, clearly confused as to why the new High Lord of Autumn was walking through the streets of Velaris. Eris didn’t seem to care as he looked around, clearly taking in every small detail. 

Y/N wasn’t exactly sure what came over her when she suggested that she take Eris out in the city, all that she did know was that it had been instinctual to spend time with him. It wasn’t in her plans to get to know her mate, at least not so soon after her relationship with Azriel ended– but when Eris was clawing at his throat and Azriel loomed over him, she had the strong urge to protect him. There were still a few scratches that hadn’t healed yet from how deep Eris had scratched himself. 

“You’ve been shivering for the past hour,” Eris commented as he stopped to look in a window of a shop. 

“Unlike you, I don’t have fire coursing through my veins,” Y/N said, wrapping her arms tighter around herself. 

“If I had a jacket I would offer it to you,” Eris said, finally turning to her. He frowned once he noticed her thin dress for what seemed like the first time. 

“It's okay,” Y/N said with a wave of her hand. “I can return to my cottage to get a jacket, it isn’t too far away if you don’t mind the walk.”

Eris shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

With a nod, Y/N led them down the street and away from the shops. “You can stay here if you wish, I’m unsure how long I will be.”

“It’s fine,” Eris said. “If I am being honest, I do wish to see more of this city– don’t tell Rhysand I said that.”

Y/N nodded. “Don’t worry, I am unsure if Rhys and I are on speaking terms currently.”

“I am not prying you for an answer but if you would like to tell me, I am awaiting your answer eagerly– unfortunately for you, I do enjoy some gossip,” Eris replied. 

Y/N huffed a laugh. “Unfortunately for you, I will not be telling you. You may be my mate, Eris, but sharing personal conversations is not on the table yet.”

“Yet,” Eris smirked. 

“Sorry?” Y/N questioned. 

“You said ‘yet’,” Eris remarked. “So that means that one day you will tell me.”

“I–shut up,” Y/N said, pulling her arms closer to herself as a chill ran down her spine. 

A low chuckle emitted from Eris that sent pleasant shivers down Y/N’s spine. “My, my, just when we were getting along too.”

“Who said that we were getting along?” Y/N questioned, raising a brow.

“Well, you haven’t threatened to harm or kill me yet, so I am taking our brief relationship thus far as a successful one,”  Eris remarked. 

The two continued walking for a while longer in silence. Though it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence like Y/N expected, she was perfectly at ease. Eris seemed to be keen on taking in his surroundings as they walked down the cobblestone street. Y/N nearly slipped a few times when her attention fixated on Eris for a moment too long so she missed where the stone was raised higher than the others, thus causing her to trip. Whenever she did, Eris huffed out a small laugh. 

“May I ask you a question?” Y/N questioned suddenly after a long silence. The question she wanted to ask was burned onto her tongue. 

“Depends what the question is,” Eris answered with a raised eyebrow. 

“That letter you sent me,” Saoirs began and Eris laughed. “Why didn’t you give me a choice if you were going to come here regardless.”

“Oh Y/N,” Eris said, her name flowing from his lips like a beautiful poem. “You are mistaken, I did give you a choice.”

Y/N laughed. “A choice? You said in your letter that if I was comfortable with you coming to my home, I should open the letter– how would I even know what the letter contained or who the letter was from if I didn’t open it?”

Eris glanced at her. “You knew who the letter was from as soon as you picked it up, didn’t you?”

“I might not have,” Y/N defended, folding her arms across her chest. 

“But you did,” Eris said. “And despite how little time we have spent together, I knew that you would have never opened that letter if you were uncomfortable with me. Am I correct?”

“No,” Y/N said, sending a small glare his way. She hated how correct he was. 

“Liar,” Eris whispered. 

Their faces were close as Y/N cleared her throat and turned away. “My cottage is just up this street.”

Seemingly snapping back into reality, Eris took a step back, clasping his hands behind his back. “You said that this walk wasn’t too far. You live quite far from the city.”

Y/N shrugged. “It’s a short walk for me. It helps me focus more on my work. When I used to live in the House of Wind with everyone, I could hardly focus on my work as I was interrupted almost every time I tried to get anything done.”

Despite the fact that her home had been her sanctuary for many years, always full of life and love– it now held an aura of sadness around it. Even though Y/N had lived in her cottage years before she and Azriel made their bargain, it was the place where they had started building their life together. Residing all over the cottage and land surrounding it held small reminders of the shadowsinger. His chair for instance, which allowed him to sit comfortably with his wings. The bed which Y/N had surprised him with once when she had noticed how much he had ached whenever he slept in her previous bed. The decorations Azriel had bought for her whenever he had business elsewhere. 

Y/N unlocked the door and stepped inside, Eris followed after. The room was cold, it had been ever since Azriel had left. But with Eris standing next to her there was a flicker of warmth that spread through the air. 

“Make yourself comfortable,” Y/N muttered, stepping away from Eris. 

There was no reply from Eris, or if he did reply, Y/N didn’t hear as she made her way to her bedroom. Only one side of the bed was slept in and the other was still perfectly made, she hadn’t wanted to move anything just yet, not while the scent of Azriel still lingered. Moving onto her wardrobe, Y/N pulled out a thick coat, trying her best to ignore Azriel’s hung up just beside hers. She needed to return it to him– just not yet. 

When she exited her bedroom, Y/N found Eris looking over the various decor pieces. She cleared her throat to announce her presence. It felt strange bringing Eris to her cottage, perhaps she should have left him in the city while she came back here alone. Despite the terms of their bargain, it felt wrong to bring Eris into the place where she had just begun to build a life with Azriel. Yet– the High Lord fit in well with her decor. 

“I’m ready to leave now,” Y/N said. 

“May I ask you a question now?” Eris said suddenly. 

“Depends what it is,” she answered, putting on her coat. 

“I don’t mean to pry while asking this question, but do you live with someone else in this cottage– the spymaster more specifically? His scent is blocking all my other senses,” Eris said, clasping his hands behind his back. 

The question wasn’t one Y/N was prepared for, of course she planned to tell Eris at some point but not so soon. But Eris was very perceptive and would know that she was lying if she denied his statement. With a sigh, Y/N nodded. “Yes he lived here with me– four years to be exact.”

“So at my celebration, the two of you were…together?” Eris questions. 

“We were, yes,” said Y/N honestly. 

“Ah, so that is why he was glaring at me for the entire length of the dance we shared,” Eris said. “But I cannot help but notice you are speaking in past tense about your relationship.”

“We are not together anymore,” Y/N said, the statement sending a pain through her heart. “That ended the night of your celebration.”

A guilty look washed over Eris’s face. “That wasn’t because of me, was it? Even though I do not like the shadowsinger, I do not wish to harm you in any way.”

Her heart skipped a beat at his sweet words but Y/N gave him a tight lipped smile. “The only reason why you are involved is because the mating bond snapped between us. Even if it snapped between me and anyone else that night, our relationship would have ended the same way at the same time.”

“You do not need to tell me if you don’t want to, Y/N,” Eris said earnestly. “I might act like a gossip, but most of the time, I do prefer staying far away from it.”

“It’s okay,” Y/N said. “I would have eventually needed to tell you at some point. Four years ago, Azriel and I made a bargain. We were both so sick of being alone, everyone around us was happily mated and were starting families or already had one. At the time we thought it was an incredible idea. We would form a relationship with each other but if one of us were to ever find our mate, we would walk away from one another and our relationship would end. Realistically, we both never thought we would find our mates. We are both over five-hundred years old, if a bond would have snapped with anyone, then it would have snapped by then.”

“We lived together for four years, were steadily building a life together until–”

“Our bond snapped,” Eris finished. 

“Correct,” Y/N said. “That night when I told him, I was in so much pain because I tried to fight the terms of the bargain. I begged him to stay with me but we both knew that we couldn’t continue our relationship because sooner or later the bargain would have killed me. Azriel left me in that room the night and never came back. The meeting earlier was the first time I had seen him since.”

“That morning when I came to speak to you and you were upset,” said Eris, taking a hesitant step forward. “It was because of the bargain.”

Y/N nodded. “I didn’t mean to be snappy with you, I couldn’t help it.”

“I didn’t mean to provoke you that morning, if I did, I apologise,” Eris said before proceeding to let out a breathless chuckle. “It’s funny, that morning I wanted to see if you were okay and I was pacing outside of your room for nearly an hour trying to gain the courage to knock. I didn’t want to seem invasive.”

Saoise’s face clouded over in surprise. “You needed to pluck up the courage to do something? Colour me shocked.”

With a shake of his head, Eris laughed and the sound was beautiful. “Don't get too used to it, Y/N, I never back down from a challenge.”

“Except when it consists of asking someone if they are okay?” Y/N asked. 

“It was only because it was you– my mate– if it were any other member of your so-called ‘Inner Circle’, I don’t think I could have cared less,” Eris replied before his eyes suddenly turned serious. “There is still a lot that you don’t know about me, Y/N– and there is still a lot that I don’t know about you. I am not the monster that Rhysand and his lapdogs have made me out to be.”

Y/N took an unconscious step forward. “Believe it or not, Eris, I can already tell that you are not the male I have heard stories about.” 

At that statement, Eris’s face lit up and he seemed relieved. “If you are open to it, Y/N, would you mind getting to know one another? I know that we eventually need to address the glaring topic of our mating bond– but right now, I am asking as a friend. Because believe it or not– I don’t have many of those.”

Despite Y/N’s previous feelings about the guilt trailing down her spine at Eris standing in the home she had made with Azriel, she now thought he fit in perfectly with her belongings– even the ones Azriel had picked out. 

A bright smile stretched across Y/N’s face. “I would love that, Eris.”

Eris dipped his head in a nod. “I am glad to hear that, Y/N.”

As their conversation had progressed, Y/N now found herself standing barely an arms length away from Eris, it was as if the taunt bond between them had slowly pulled them closer. Slowly, she linked her arm with Eris’s, the warmth of his body seeping through her coat. 

“Now, there is a small tavern that I like just down the street from my cottage,” Y/N said as she led Eris to the front door. “If we are getting to know one another, we might as well do it over a few friendly drinks.”

As the door to her cottage shut behind them, Y/N couldn’t help the small weight lifted from her shoulders. Walking with Eris by her side eased her in a way she couldn’t describe. 

Though perhaps it was because of the faint scent of cedar mixing with a cracking fire.

Taglist:

@22hilda @lazypostfandomer @inkedinshadows @awkardnerd @azysmate @therealmoonstone @lets-talk-about-xyz @starryevermore @babypeapoddd @tothestarsandwhateverend @batboyrhyrhy @callsigns-haze @wildflowermooon @wildfloweroutlaw @acourtofbatboydreams @bookandtealover @queenoffeysand @the-sweet-psycho @the-starlight-way @curiosandcourioser @cheekym8s @honk4emoboyz @paleidiot @buckystevelove @that-girl-reading @readinggeeklmao @hextech-bros @scarsandallaz @paige0103 @k8r123-blog @asweetblueberry2 @bloodicka @eddsthemunson @fourthwing4ever @crypticme @that-one-bibliophole @lilah-asteria @sassybluebird @ninthcircleofprythian @imma-too-many-fandoms @happyt0exist @spiritualmooshroom @phoenix666stuff @imagoddessinmystories @sveretrice @stormieandateacup @impossibelle @opium-den @pit-and-the-pen @julesvanslutta @circe143

[insomniadreamzz]

Okay, you asked for freaky shit.

What about Jinx being totally in love and obsessed with fem. Reader secretly loves Jinx as well, but is dating Vi and feels a commitment to her.

Maybe one day Jinx sees Vi and fem kissing and she can’t take it anymore and loses her shit!

She goes back to her hideout and invents a serum that will make fem love her!

Ends with some rough smut 🤭

Idk if this is too dark and freaky 😅 but..…. ummm…… yeah bye

Oop I love dark and freaky stuff so here we go 👀

Jinx xFem!Reader plus little VixFem!Reader for the plot

Mentions of angst, smut, kidnapping, forced love, rough smut, blood, knife play

———

You are mine and only mine

You knew Vi and her sister Jinx for a while now. It’s hard not to since they were pretty popular in Zaun. Everyone knew them but not only in positive ways. Vi gets into fights with others, especially in the Last Drop, her temper was thin and if someone was talking shit about the ones she loved she just had to show them a lesson. Or she just gets provoked by Sevika which was enough to cause a fight with those two. Jinx on the other hand was known for her chaos. Blowing up stuff especially in Piltover and stealing stuff. When Jinx wanted something she will get it and she won’t hesitate at all, using everything she could to achieve her goal.

Even though they were sisters, they always mocked each other and didn’t really have a healthy sister relationship caused by certain events in the past.

You and Vi had a relationship going on but you couldn’t ignore the fact that Jinx began to like you as well. Whenever Vi wasn’t with you, Jinx tried to talk to you and gave you obvious signs that she had a crush on you. Besides being very chaotic and deadly dangerous Jinx was beautiful, her smile always did something to you, you hated it but you couldn’t control what you felt whenever she smiled at you. Slowly you started having a crush on Jinx as well but you weren’t the type of person to cheat. Especially not because you alresdy were engaged to Vi.

„Hey Toots!“ Jinx caught you in the Last Drop hanging out without Vi and of course she took the chance to talk to you. She was always like the wind, appearing out of nowhere as she suddenly sat beside you. The usual happy smile on her face which made your heart do a flip but you ignored your feelings at this point. „Oh hey Jinx.“ You answered, turning on your seat. „What ya doin here? Aren’t you supposed to be with Vi?“ She asked and you just nod your head in response. „Yes she will join me soon.“ You answered her and her pink eyes traveled down to your finger, seeing a ring on it which made her bite her own lower lip, you noticing she didn’t like it at all, knowing what it meant. „Is that from Vi?“ She asked with a more lower tone, her usual quirky voice changing abruptly. Your gaze went down to look at the ring, forcing a smile on your face. „Yes. Me and Vi are engaged.“ You said and Jinx‘s facial expression dropped, making you worry she would flip but she stayed calm which surprised you as she forced a grin on her face but she looked more creepy than anything else. „O-Oh? I didn’t know. Congrats.“ Her voice being a little shaky, she wanted to scream. You on the other hand didn’t know what to answer and luckily Vi appeared, finally joining you as she hugged you from behind. „Hey my beautiful girl“ She said and you turned to your fiancé, Vi leaning down to press a kiss on your lips, right in front of Jinx.

The blue haired woman bit the inside of her cheek hard, tasting her own blood. She was boiling inside, standing up from her seat. „I will give you more privacy. Have fun.“ She spat out her words disgustedly, leaving the last drop with rage inside of her, leaving you and Vi alone.

Jinx paced around in her hideout, mumbling various things to herself, her usual insane behavior. „They are engaged…she is mine though…Vi must have manipulated her…there is no way she doesn’t love me back.“

‚You aren’t good enough for her‘ She heard the voice in her head and that made her snap. „SHUT UP!“ She screamed as she threw a few of her tools off her table in rage, a little insane chuckle escaping her lips. „Oh no…no she is mine. MINE!“ She yelled once again, her gaze moving to a piece of paper on her table which she wrote down a plan to get you to love her. A plan for inventing a serum which was like a love potion. She wanted to do this a long time ago but she hesitated…long enough. Now it’s not too late, you are only engaged, she can still do something about it. Her fingers digging on the table as she looked down at the piece of paper, a few tear drops falling on it, her body shaking of rage. „Sorry sis…but you are engaged with my girl…I won’t let you marry her.“ She talked to herself before sitting down on her chair and started to work on her plan.

You were walking along the streets of Zaun alone, Vi was on a mission up in Piltover so you got bored and just wanted to take a walk which will turn out to be a huge mistake. Generally Zaun wasn’t the most save place to walk around, all those shimmer addicts hanging out in the dark corners of the streets, begging to get some of it. You were used to it though, not paying attention to their pleas. Suddenly something hard hit your head, making you whine in pain and made you black out in seconds as you fell to the ground.

The pain in your head got worse, your vision blurry as you opened your eyes to find yourself tied up on a chair, as your vision got a little more clear you noticed your surroundings being not familiar to you but the graffities drawn everywhere where familiar to you. Tools everywhere, creepy self made dolls of people you didn’t recognize hanging around and a lot of weapons. Some finished some halfway finished. You took in a familiar scent as you heard footsteps getting closer to you from behind and soon the person stood in front of you, looking down at you with a dark smile. „Look who is awake.“ Jinx said as she then placed herself on your lap.

„J-Jinx?? Why did you do this??“ You asked and she just chuckled as she wiped the blood coming from the wound of your forehead. „Because I love you. Isn’t that obvious?“ She cooed and you furrowed your eyebrows, not really understanding her. „You kidnap me because you love me? That’s a weird way of showing love don’t you think?“ You couldn’t believe she really did that, you knew she was crazy but that still surprised you. „I just saved you from doing the biggest mistake of your life. Marrying the wrong person.“

Your eyes widened in shock, she really went this far because of jealousy? „I love Vi!“ You said, making Jinx roll her eyes in response. „Uh huh…sure you do. And why did you always look at me with that intense gaze when she isn’t around? Come on don’t lie to yourself toots, you love me.“ She said and you knew she wasn’t wrong. You had a crush on Jinx as well but you were promised to someone else and breaking Vi‘s heart is not what you wanted to do. Stupid of you to marry her even though you didn’t love her to only not break her heart.

„So…are you still going to lie directly into my face? Or will you finally tell me about your true feelings?? Because I really don’t want to hurt you baby.“ She tried to give you a last chance but you just couldn’t. You promised Vi to be hers and forever hers so you refused to say anything, moving your face away when Jinx tried to kiss you, making her groan in frustration. „Ugh…you really are hard to convince aren’t you? Well then let’s go the painful path.“

Jinx didn’t hesitate as she rammed a needle into your neck, making you yelp at the sudden pain, you could feel she injected something into you but since your hands were tied behind your back you couldn’t push her off no matter how much you squirmed. Your body started to feel hot as you panted, feeling your limbs getting numb and slowly losing your vision again, Jinx holding you close as she whispered softly to you. „Shh…it’s gonna be alright. I know it hurts but the pain will go away and we will be together forever…you are mine and I won’t let you go ever…“

Your dizziness fading, eyes opening as you looked into Jinx’s eyes and when you looked at her beautiful face you felt so in love, more like you ever loved someone before. The memories of you and Vi together fading. She caressed your face with her cold fingers, admiring the look on your face, looking into your with love filled eyes, showing she succeeded. „You belong to me…“ She mumbled and you smiled, her words suddenly meaning so much to you. „Of course I am..“ You answered and that made her realize she really succeeded this time with her invention, looking like she was about to cry as she crashed her lips against yours, finally kissing you, feeling your warm lips on hers. She hummed softly into the kiss. „Mhh…this is all I ever wanted…“ She cooed before connecting your lips again. You kissed each other passionately, your tongues fighting with dominance as you both felt aroused, soft moaning escaping both of your lips into the kiss.

With a swift movement Jinx cut the rope with a knife which held your hands tied together. Once your hands were free they traveled up and down her body, sending shivers down the blue haired girls body, making her bite her lower lip before she looked at you with a smirk, the tip of her knive pointing against your throat. „I will make you never forget this…and never forget who you belong to.“ She said before dragging you to her couch, throwing down all of things on it which would only disturb you so you have enough space. As soon as you laid on your back she removed all of your clothes, looking at your exposed body like a predator would look at it’s prey. „What you waiting for love? Make me never forget this.“ You said, really wanting this and you calling her love made Jinx‘s heart skip a beat. She wanted this for so long, hearing you call her names, touching your body, hearing you moan.

„Impatient aren’t we?“ She chuckled before leaning down to place kisses on your neck, making you gasp at how rough they were, feeling her teeth bite at your skin, leaving marks everywhere around your neck and chest. But there was still something that Junx didn’t like on you, the ring. When she leaned up once again to look at your weak expression, seeing how your chest already rose up and down in excitement she took your hand in hers, removing the ring from your finger and throwing it across the room. „Now we can continue.“ She mentioned before running the blade of her knife gently down along your stomach, seeing your body tensing up before she stopped the blade right above your pussy.

„Tell me you love me.“ She demanded as she poked the tip of her knife into your flesh, threatening you but you didn’t have anything to worry about since you obeyed. She would probaby hurt you with the knife if you refused but you were drunk in love with her. „I love you, only you.“ You answered and she finally knew this is real, tossing the knife away before she went down on your body, getting her head between your thighs as she bit down on the soft flesh of your inner thighs, maybe a bit too harsh since she made it bleed, making you whimper at the playful pleasure, her tongue licking over the little wound, tasting your blood but there was something more she craved to taste for eternity. Her tongue gently licking along your wet slit, the moment her tongue reached for your clit you moaned softly. She was focused on fucking you with her mouth as she licked you harder like she was starving for it before kissing and sucking your clit, tongue slipping inside of you, making you moan louder as you threw your head back, squirming under her which made Jinx pull back, her needy gaze driving you crazy. „Just wait for a little more baby, I want us to come together.“ She mentioned before sitting up, taking off her clothes now, exposing herself now to you. You never saw someone this beautiful, she was just a goddess in your eyes, wanting to touch her so bad. „You are gorgeous my love…“ You whispered loud enough for her to her, a little blush appearing on her face but she never lost her dominance. „My love…that sounds beautiful…that’s what I wanted“ She talked to herself but you didn’t mind it, letting her continue as she got on top of you, slowly grinding her wetness against yours, making both of you whine softly at the good feeling. Jinx pulled you up to her, kissing you as both of you were grinding against each other, filling the room up with wet needy sounds, going almost crazy whenever your clit is rubbing against hers. The only thing that could be heard of you were needy muffled moaning sounds as you fucked each other like that, not wanting to leave the kiss.

Only when you both were close to cum, your lips parted as you moaned out. „F-Fuck!…m…cumming…!“ She whined before you came on esch other, your bodies trembling before collapsing on each other.

You laid in each others arms, cuddling for a while before Jinx got her usual attitude back, grinning as she looked down at you. „Heh…I got something way better for you.“ She mentioned before leaning to the side, getting something which looked like a ring she made herself with her name engraved on it. She didn’t even ask you as she slipped it on your finger. „Now you‘re my fiancee. We are going to marry and be happy forever.“ She just decided herself but you were so addicted to her by the serum she injected in you, not caring about anything else in this moment. „Of course we will stay forever. I can’t wait to marry you. I love you Jinx.“ You said before kissing her and she kissed you back, so in love with you and she will make sure no one will take you from her.

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

stitches. l Joel Miller

before Jackson

Summary: the moment Joel thought he might lose you

Warnings:  angst, blood, weapons, Ellie is in on it, tears, rough night for Joel, some swearing

A/N: this is before they appear in Jackson. the idea for this chapter was given by the wonderful @underneath-the-sky-again . thank you so much! i hope you like it, sweetie. ❤️

your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

short stories from life. [masterlist]

"Take Ellie and try to get out of here."

You looked at him with fear but also determination in your eyes. He had expected the words that left your lips "I won't leave you, Joel."

"But you have to, if you want Ellie to be safe." You nodded "I'll find you. We'll meet outside the city. Remember that red brick building? We'll meet there."

You didn't ask any more questions, just grabbed Ellie by the arm and led her out the back door. Once again, for a moment, you turned to look at Joel.

"Go. Now."

He should have been less harsh. He should have done a lot of things, and he definitely shouldn't have led you there. The road through the city was definitely shorter, and you could find the supplies you needed for the rest of the journey. 

You were all tired, and Ellie was grumpy. She was tired of sleeping under the stars, and when you got soaked one night, she was even grumpier than Joel.

"Something warm, a piece of dry floor. That's the basics!" she said and finally Joel gave in.

These people were probably thinking the same thing. They knew someone was in the building, but they didn't know how many people were there or whether they were armed, that was to your advantage.

Joel reloaded his gun. Maybe you could get out without being noticed? But he had to distract these people, let them think you left the city a different way. His thoughts ran to you and Ellie once more, he knew you'd be fine.

The moment he entered the red brick building on the outskirts of town he knew something was wrong. It was already dark when he entered and secured the door.

"Ellie?" he called out in a muffled voice "Ellie!"

He almost had a heart attack when the girl appeared at the end of the corridor with a flashlight in her hands. Her eyes were wide, she was shaking.

"Are you okay?" he asked, quickly approaching her "W-What is it? Blood?"

Ellie's hands were covered in blood, some of it smeared on her cheek. She was pale as a sheet. Your name barely escaped her lips, and Joel felt as if his legs were giving out under him.

"That guy appeared out of nowhere!" the girl gasped, "She's bleeding terribly."

Joel rushed into the room after her. He knew one thing, he would never forget this sight. You were lying on the floor. Ellie had somehow managed to take off your jacket, but your shirt was soaked in blood on one side. The old towel that Ellie used as a dressing was already covered in blood.

"Fuck!" Joel hissed, falling to the floor next to you. "What happened?"

"There was a guy..." you replied quietly, you were breathing as if you were fighting for every breath, your eyelids seemed so weak. "A few streets away..."

"And you made it all the way here? In this condition?!"

"What was I supposed to do?!" Ellie groaned, sitting on her heels on the other side of you. "She didn't say anything. It wasn't until we left the city..."

Joel's hands easily removed yours, he lifted the towel and uncovered your side. The red mark from the knife ran almost from your hip to your bra. The wound was bleeding badly, although not as intensely since you moved less and pressed the towel that Ellie gave you.

"She'll be fine, right?" the girl's quiet voice focused Joel's scattered thoughts. "Hey! I'm asking you something!"

He nodded. That was all he could do, because he was afraid his lips would betray him. They would betray his fear, worries and uncertainty about you. It looked like you had lost a lot of blood. How much? He wasn't sure.

Focus! Focus!

"There's water in my backpack. Give it to me!" he ordered.

Ellie quickly rushed towards the backpack and after a moment pressed a bottle into his hand. He poured it over your side to clean it a bit.

"Joel? Joel..." you sighed.

"I know, give me a moment." he mumbled, but your hand lightly grabbed his. "My backpack... Ellie knows."

He looked at you, confused, and then at the girl. She didn't wait. She ran to your backpack lying against the wall and started looking through it, finally pulling out something that looked like a makeshift first aid kit. She threw it towards Joel.

A small bottle of alcohol, some bandages, antibiotics that had long since passed their expiration date. It looked bad, but it was all he had.

"I'd have to stitch the wound up." He said more to you than as if he was planning on actually doing it.

You nodded. Your eyes were closed, your breathing shallow. Despite everything, when he poured the alcohol on your side, you hissed loudly in pain.

"Fuck! I'm sorry, darling. I'm sorry..."

"It hurts her." Ellie groaned, her voice shaking as she sat down next to Joel.

"I know, but it'll hurt more."

Ellie's small hands pressed a spool of thread and a needle into his palm. Without a word, she walked to where your head was, took your hands, and squeezed them tightly. She knew what had to be done, and so did you. She laced her small fingers with yours and nodded at Joel.

He couldn't remember the last time he was so scared.

Joel opened his eyes and lifted his head. He shouldn't have fallen asleep. He couldn't.

It was starting to dawn. Ellie was curled up next to you, her bloody fingers still tangled with yours. She had spent the whole night watching over you and it was only a few hours ago that he had finally managed to convince her to go to sleep. The night watch belonged to him.

After you had passed out while he was stitching your body, you hadn't opened your eyes yet. Joel knew that this night would haunt him for a very long time. 

Ellie's pale face, her tears running down her cheeks, your blood on his and her hands. He only hoped that he had done everything right. He couldn't lose you, not now, not ever.

Ellie stirred and rubbed her eyelids.

"She's not awake yet?"

Joel shook his head. "You should still be asleep, kiddo." he muttered.

She sat up and rubbed her face with her hand. Her eyes were puffy with tears.

"Do you think she'll wake up?" she asked.

God, she has to!

"If she doesn't wake up on her own, your talking will do the trick" he said, relieved to see the shadow of a smile on Ellie's lips. "You were brave, you know. If it wasn't for you..."

"You sewed her up like a rag doll." she said. "I wouldn't know what to do."

"You would know. You knew she had a first aid kit with her. Good job."

"Yeah, she showed it to me a while ago. She said it was just in case." Ellie stood up and stretched. "I need to find the bathroom. Will you watch her?"

"Yes, ma'am."

She smiled and quietly left the room. Joel leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. His whole body ached. Warm coffee would be something he would give a lot for.

A thought flashed through his mind - how long will you have to stay here? Is this place even safe enough for another night? What if he did something wrong?

"J-Joel..."

It was quieter than a whisper, but he still heard it. He opened his eyes and saw you looking at him, your eyelids still heavy, but you fought them.

"Hi, darling." he greeted and stood up to crouch next to you. "How are you feeling?"

"Ughh...horrible..." you sighed.

His hand touched your cheek and forehead. You saw the worry written on his face combined with the sleepless night.

"You had a small fever last night. I gave you antibiotics."

"Shit..." you groaned. "You wasted it on me?"

"Best decision ever."

You wanted to smile, but the muscles in your face were strangely numb. Meanwhile, Joel lifted the jacket you were wearing and glanced at your side. The wound was still red, but it wasn't anything to worry about. The most important thing was that you weren't bleeding. And you were conscious.

"Where's Ellie?" you asked.

"She's looking for the bathroom. She sat with you all night." He looked at you with sympathy and worry. "How did you manage to get here? When I showed up, you looked terrible."

"Yeah... That guy, I wasn't expecting him. I didn't want to shoot... That would draw attention."

He nodded. Damn, he knew you were strong and resilient, but he was still full of worries about you. 

Your presence was soothing to him, and the relationship you had with Ellie... The girl would break down if something happened to you. So did he, although he didn't want to admit it. 

You, on the other hand, twitched strangely, making a movement as if you wanted to get up.

"What the hell are you doing?" Joel covered you with his jacket again "You're staying like this."

"We can't stay here. These people..."

"We'll stay another night, or as long as we have to." he declared. "You won't be able to move around yet."

Footsteps in the hallway distracted you, because you clearly wanted to argue with him. Ellie's face lit up when she saw you and a moment later she was sitting next to you.

"Fuck! You scared us so much." she said. "Joel almost had a heart attack!"

The man threw her a look and shook his head. He listened to her babble as she told you in detail about the night, about everything that had happened. He smiled the moment he felt your fingers clumsily find his and squeeze them lightly.

A quiet "Thank you," that he appreciated more than anything. You were alive. Still. Soon you would move on. Slowly, but still, the three of you.

☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

taglist, i think: @picketniffler @orcasoul @bbyanarchist @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi

[colorisbyshe]

On art and effort:

Your argument is self defeating. You are saying that since art by disabled people is often seen as low effort or low skilled (and requires higher investment from disabled people to create art seen as "equal" to peers who are not disable) we should... accept that art naturally made by disabled people IS less valuable and instead we should just replace that art with computer generated content.

Instead of encouraging disabled people to craft what they can and finding beauty (and by beauty I just mean visual enjoyment, even when it's ugly or low effort or whatever the fuck you want to call it) in said art, we should replace that with disabled people just... stating the art they would like to make and having a computer do it for them.

This is... progress? Instead of saying we should value people no matter their perceived skill or effort or ability, instead of saying art made with any level of skill or ability or effort can still say something or have value (even if the value is in proving it has no value), we should move on from that and say "Actually, if you can't do it yourself, you should get a computer to steal it for you."

You are actually putting more value into the more "acceptable" computer generated art than in the art disabled people can say, thus actually... reinforcing the point of the "inspirational" people where the only valued art is the one PERCEIVED as higher effort, skill, and more aesthetically pleasing.

But computer generation isn't creating art. It is just ordering what are you want to have. So, I don't even think the rest of your argument applies. I haven't made a chicken sandwich if I customize my panera order and say no lettuce please.

On labor and theft:

You are correct about piracy. You are incorrect about the rest. Companies stealing art they have not paid for is, in fact, labor theft. The labor that went into that art has been stolen.

Artists have outright spoken about how they are being paid lower wages because AI has lowered the perceived value of their work. You are speaking in abstracts, I am speaking in concrete, observed consequences of AI. Artists have already confirmed companies are using AI to exploit artists and steal their labor.

The theft exists in the training. The theft exists in recreation. The theft exists in posing art as inherently and always disposable. The theft exists in depriving artists of work and commissions. I have outright seen people stating that they will no longer commission works because they can just order their computers to make it.

The theft is also in the Kenyans being tricked into slave wage contracts. And this is not a singular case with a lot of this "AI" projects, while the amazon "just walk out" stores were not using generative AI, they were still framed as AI... and still relied on exploited labor to function. All of these programs rely, heavily on stolen labor to function on every level.

Also, it's wholly different from making collages because collages retain the individual content (and thus can be traced back to an original creator) while with generative AI, the art is stolen, the identity is erased so you don't even fucking know what you're stealing from, because all art has been reduced to an amorphous slug that only exists to serve the company's server, and then you know what? It's stolen from the creator too. It belongs to the AI company. Anything you create the company can now use--to sell, to train, to do whatever they want with. You, the "creator" are being stolen from too.

Exploitation:

Your argument is just "the companies have already exploited the artists who have made this art, so it's okay to steal it even more."

As per usual.

This is ALWAYS the argument for generative AI. Things are already bad, why not have two bad things? Why not make things worse? I find these arguments to be despicable. Truly. I do. I find you saying "Stealing from the exploited is the same as stealing from corporations who exploit them" is just "vibes based" to be despicable as well. Lol.

Also, art is special. Sorry, like, yes it is. Art is the cornerstone of how humans learn to relate to each other. The fact that is being reduced to a product that is made by no one, made for no one, while companies profit off it is... bad. It's not the same as people no longer having to do risky jobs because a machine can do it instead. Like... the loss of political art in the service of corporate art has been observed and is complained about this website... regularly. I can probably find posts on your blog complaining about how hypercapitalism affects art and does a disservice to people.

Generative AI replacing human workers is... the most hypercapitalistic it gets for the creation of art.

Now the only people who can AFFORD to create art without getting paid for it are those already wealthy and in power.

(Not even getting into how AI subtitles are often so incorrect and baffling incorrect that it's illegal and ableist, lol.)

Like I do think your argument is all abstract and not about the actual material consequence of this.

Which brings us to "water and responsibility":

You can argue about how big generative ai's slice of the AI pie is but it's still theorized that AI will represent 17% of America's electricity consumption in the next five years.

AI is in its infancy now and still isn't utilized by people, in part BECAUSE of the stigma against it. As it gets more normalized by people like you, those numbers go up. The fact that image generation is so high cost compared to... actually useful things... is incomprehensible to be. You cannot disconnect your usage of generative AI from how it empowers and normalizes google's much more wasteful usage of their AI programs. They are a bulk package.

You actually cannot abstract your role as an individual because the corporations doing this shit rely on individuals normalizing it, buying it, being the product by signing up to have their individual works stolen too, and defending it.

You can't say it's ethical to shit directly into the town's water supply every single day instead of using the toilet and then go it's wrong from Big Corpo to throw a ton toxic waste into the same water supply. I don't care if Someone Did Something Worse.

Your entire argument is "I am entitled to do something that harms the world because it upsets me if I don't get to instantly have the art I want."

Not all people can create all things and htat's okay. We should... value people anyways. And value the stuff they can create, if they can create.

It's okay if we don't all have all the art we want the second we want it, for free. It's okay to not be able to order a computer to make that for us. I'd argue it's not progress that we can do that.

It's a lateral move. Deepfake porn, hallucinated "facts," misinformation campaigns aren't progress. New things aren't inherently progress. NFTs weren't progress--they were just a new way to exploit artists and consumers alike. Just like generative AI.

i dont think its necessarily ableist to hate AI art, but if you then qualify that by arguing that art derives its meaning from the effort and skill that went into it then you're being kinda ableist

[allastoredeer]

Controversial opinion but I think Lucifer gets babied too much by the fandom. Like I get that he has mental health issues but seeing all this fanmedia of women and men of color nannying this white-adjacent man who has been shown to be an incompetent and absent husband, father and leader. Just. Grinds my gears.

Not saying I hate Lucifer but... when people frame past radiostatic with current radioapple as a huge upgrade, it reeks of a woman leaving her abusive ex for a neglectful husband. While I'm glad Lucifer is a step up from Adam, I need to see actual improvements if I don't want to get the ick.

Agreed.

I massively agree.

Lucifer gets babied a lot. And like you said, yes, he has mental health issues and that's valid, but a lot of the time, it feels like his mental health issues become a scapegoat for his flaws and bad behavior.

Depression is a legit reason for Lucifer to struggle to maintain relationships and reach out to those he cares about. As someone who has suffered from depression, I understand pulling away from people, feeling like you need a reason to reach out to someone, having a negative opinion of oneself, getting overwhelmed with anxiety, even ignoring other people's attempts at reaching out to me because it's just...too hard and it's too much and you're stuck in this cycle that you can't break out of.

HOWEVER

Lucifer's depression doesn't take away from the fact that he's neglected Charlie as a parent. It doesn't negate the fact that he has acted condescendingly towards her and her ambitions. It doesn't counteract the fact that Charlie felt uncomfortable and awkward for a majority of their interactions in "Dad Beat Dad."

I sympathize with Lucifer having depression, but unfortunately, mental illness doesn't just effect you, it also effects the people around you, and i can't fault Charlie for her feelings too.

Because at the end of the day, Lucifer is Charlie's father.

Charlie is his child.

And as a parent, he has responsibilities. Ones that he failed to meet, which would have an effect on Charlie as children are meant to rely on their parents.

It's very telling that Charlie calls Lilith (who's been MIA for 7 years) more than she calls Lucifer (who's probably just a few Circles away). And no, I don't think this is because Lilith kept them separated and all that bullshit. I think Lucifer 100% had a hand in his and Charlie's estranged relationship and I hate it when he's passed off as nothing but a victim in all of it.

I hate it when he's boiled down to sad depressed man who's done nothing wrong. He has done plenty wrong.

And that's okay.

Because that's what makes his character good. He is multi-faceted. He is flawed. You can be depressed and still treat the people around you bad. I don't think Lucifer ever meant to be an absent parent, he obviously loves Charlie with all his heart, but that doesn't mean Charlie wasn't affected by his actions.

She very obviously was. Charlie is one of the most positive people in the show (to an extent that it becomes one of her flaws too), but the minute she called Lucifer it was a complete flip of how we normally see her. She was immediately annoyed. Her patience was already wire-thin. She was close to snapping so many times.

And I can see why. He only calls when he's bored/wants/needs something. He forgot about where she was and what she was doing despite her already telling him. He told her that he'd do anything to help her, and then said "no" the minute she asked.

Also, let's not forget how he answered the phone in the first place.

"Heeey, bitch!"

And look, it was funny. I laughed too. I still think it's funny.

But, imagine you called your dad for the first time in years (a dad you have a very strained relationship with) and the first thing you hear is a peppy, "Heeeeey, bitch!"

Like??? I can't blame Charlie for being annoyed as all hell, okay? I get the sense that she's been putting up with this bullshit for a VERY long time ad she's lost all patience for it. She's done. She's sick of it. She's been disappointed one too many times.

Also, yes, it's not just that Lucifer has been an absent father but he's been a neglectful ruler too. I wouldn't be surprised if Pentagram City has as much respect for him as they do for Charlie. I mean

HE SIGNED OFF ON THE EXTERMINATIONS

Lucifer gave the go-ahead for a yearly genocide of the people he rules over. Can we get some repercussions for that? Do you know how many people lost their friends? Family? Lovers? Vaggie literally spared a child--a CHILD. And I doubt that was the first kid ever confronted by an Exorcist.

Imagine that Cherri died during an Extermination and here we have Angel Dust meeting the person who stepped aside and let it happen. Do you think he wouldn't be mad?

Imagine Carmilla did lose her daughters during that Extermination. Do you really think she'd meet Lucifer and feel nothing but anger and contempt?

Personally, I think Lucifer agreeing to the Exterminations is what fractured his and Charlie's relationship. Like, fully fractured it. That was the last nail in the coffin.

And honestly, I WANT Lucifer to see the consequences of the Exterminations. I want him to have repercussions because that was an INCREDIBLY SHITTY THING TO DO. I imagine he didn't think there was any other option, but we also know that he didn't hold the sinners in high regard anyway. He had the lowest of low opinions of them. I doubt it took much convincing for him to agree.

Lucifer is the oldest being in the Pride Ring--he may be the oldest being in Hell. He's the most powerful person there. He is the embodiment of Pride. And he ACTS LIKE IT IN THE SHOW.

He has acted that way towards Charlie too. He didn't go to her hotel with an open mind. He wasn't actually listening to her plan or taking it into consideration. He played stupid when she asked him what he thought about it. And when the hotel was under attack, instead of stopping it (which he could easily done with a snap of his fingers), he was smirking and acting self-satisfied as he gloated about being "right" about Sinners.

And if you think I'm exaggerating then go rewatch that entire scene.

Look at him

He is acting so smug and he is rubbing it in Charlie's face.

LOOK AT CHARLIE! She is in distress. She is angry. And she is hurting. Her hotel is falling to pieces around her, her friends are in danger, and the whole time she had her dad gloating in her ear about why her dream is, essentially, a waste of time.

And the only thing that snapped him out of it was Charlie asking why Alastor (the one actually protecting the hotel) has more faith in her than her own father. It took Charlie bringing up Alastor again for Lucifer to knock his shit off.

Look at how hurt and closed off Charlie is in the last screenshot. I can't imagine that this is the first time Lucifer has acted towards her in this way. Do I think Lucifer meant to hurt Charlie?

No.

But did he?

Hell-to-the-fucking-YES!

Lucifer is an asshole. He acted like an asshole towards Alastor. He's acted like an asshole towards Charlie. And he kind of acted like an asshole towards the rest of the Hazbin crew considering he didn't exchange a single line of dialogue with them. They introduced themselves to him and that was it. Lucifer spent the rest of the time dissing on Alastor and talking exclusively to Charlie and Vaggie.

Lucifer suffers from depression, yes, but that doesn't take away that he is as much of an asshole as any other character in the show. And I hate that being stripped away and getting turned into this sad, babied little man who's awkward and shy and everyone else is just being mean to him. It's so dull and it's such a disservice to his character.

I don't want sweet, shy little UwU Lucifer that needs to be coddled.

I want mean, condescending, ass-hole Lucifer who reaps the consequences of his actions and grows from them.

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 9 part 6

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

billy drives to westview again, I guess flying right now feels weird while he's so conflicted about his own witchy nature. and who boarded up agatha's door? were the neighbors afraid some other unspeakable horror was going to jump out of the house?

we get another good view of agatha's grave, with all the purple flowers and mushrooms rio grew for her

agnes' bike and señor scratchy's cage (I hope that fluffer bunny's okay somewhere)

NOT HELPING, AGATHA. did she just run down to the basement so she could do her 'it's britney bitch' face? (she does look like britney here)

sure, sure, you'll get your brooch back and then you'll be on your merry way doing ghostly shit with no regrets whatsoever. it's not like you've been following billy around like a lost puppy or anything

agatha sees billy drawing the circle and is all posture again, a big slice of "I'm cooler than you and you don't scare me little kid" with a side of "ooooh are we doing magic?? I love magic lemme see lemme see!"

she's truly embarrassing

you're the one with a buttload of black candles in your basement agatha who do you think you're mocking

a pentacle, the symbol of our coven surrounding him. wherever you are, a coven there shall be.

oooh book through the heart! we get it, symbolism.

agatha sees the brooch and gives a deep relieved sigh, immediately followed by more bullshit. JUST TELL HIM THAT'S YOUR SON'S BROOCH AND IT'S IMPORTANT, YOU USELESS DISASTER. JUST OPEN UP FOR ONCE.

the spell is vade (not valia) a lucem, relinque terram, noli esse phantasma. go to the light, leave the earth, don't be a ghost (bit on the nose.)

what's wrong agatha, not feeling so confident all of a sudden?

you know the drill by now, she won't go quietly. so she sneers.

ooh we're appealing to his better nature now? after your many 'never apologize for murder' lessons?

idk man, it's almost as if the people you keep pushing away will eventually get tired of your bullshit. it's almost as if billy here, the kid you supposedly care a lot about, just went through a terrible experience and could really need a wise mentor right now - instead of whatever you're doing.

and now we're begging. better make a decision there agatha, you're starting to fade away!

sure, that will help. great plan agatha, masterful gambit, turning into a ghost and losing even more of your agency

there you go. it only took this poor wretch nine episodes, killing three people, scaring away forever the love of her life, thoroughly traumatizing a kid and somehow losing her entire body to express ONE honest, uncensored feeling.

it's the little steps.

heartwarming: local 350 year old experiences for the first time the mortifying ordeal of being known.

another thing billy and agatha have in common is how good they are at reading people. with billy it's a natural talent (comes with being a mind reader) that he's still learning how to use, he can read people but doesn't know how to interpret what he finds yet, hence the whole trials fiasco.

with agatha, he's been trying to reconcile his instincts with facts and logic. on a surface level he shouldn't trust agatha at all, indeed she's the last person anyone should trust. but since he was that kid who liked hanging out at agnes' house, billy guessed something else in agatha, a vulnerability behind all the darkness that he's been (awkwardly) trying to bring to the surface.

why? I think it's for the same reason agatha has been reaching out to him: because they're so similar. billy wants to reconcile agatha's two natures because he wants to do the same for himself. he is the son of the witch who tortured westview, he has all this scary power. there is a darkness in him that he doesn't know how to deal with, but maybe, if agatha is redeemed, there is hope for himself too.

in other words, these two are kindred spirits (spiritual mother/son, mentor/mentee, whatever you want to call it) who recognize each other and instinctively want to stick to together, even though it's a bad, bad idea.

(I cannot believe it took agatha turning into a ghost to finally get a manicure for her nasty witchy nails)

and this is all it took to win billy over, that's how ready and eager he was to believe agatha has a heart! the moment he realizes that of course agatha loved nicholas! of course she's devastated after losing him! he steps back and dries a tear, moved. for the first time he sees agatha's pain and, the good kid he is, he's earnest to give her sympathy and comfort. he's still too young to fully understand what agatha has been trough, but he doesn't need to. he just needs to care and be there for her, and that's enough, that makes all the difference.

the salemites taught agatha that she cannot trust others, that if she shows who she really is people will hate her and hurt her. when nicky died she tried all she could to exorcise that devastating pain, except asking for help. she never allowed someone to give her even the most basic forms of comfort, no hugs, no crying on someone's shoulder, no 'I'm sorry this happened to you'. no 'I'm here for you, if you need anything'. no 'I know it feels like that, but I promise it wasn't your fault.'

agatha set out to mold and raise billy as another version of herself, but what she got instead is a kid who, just like nicky, is simply glad to love her back. yes, people will leave you if you keep pushing them away, but the opposite is also true: if you stick by and make an effort, no matter how many mistakes you make, most people will recognize what you're doing and respond in kind. it sucks that agatha can do that so rarely and with so much difficulty. but it happens sometimes, even to her.

I've talked about how a "coven two" is never sustainable on the long run, how you cannot just have one person be your whole world. humans, social animals we are, simply need a community. but for now it's a start, it's agatha cautiously letting herself be around another person again. and oh god she's going to be such a bad influence on this poor kid. I'm glad *he* has other people in his life, at least.

she's like, faIR WArNiNG

ookay drama llama. these two gays, I swear. already trying to outdrama each other.

she's all proud!! look at her boy paying homage to the dead and expressing his grief like a champ! meanwhile I'm sitting here like guys, guys, you cannot just write their names on the floor and call it a day, have you CHECKED if you have to break the news to their loved ones?! did sharon have children? did alice have friends or a partner that are looking for her right now?!?!!?!?! please make ONE phone call I beg you! is there an ADULTIER ADULT in the room, you CANNOT LEAVE THESE TWO IN CHARGE

and off they go, merrily causing chaos and mayhem. if I had to guess what happens next, agatha is going to love and help and teach that kid while making soooo many mistakes and causing soooo much emotional damage, and also very much try to manipulate him into giving her a new body, because lbr, this asshole didn't get herself close to the one person on earth who can do that by pure accident. all immaturity and ulterior motives aside, agatha is taking baby steps in the right direction and I'm SEATED for it.

AND WE'RE DONE. I cannot believe I got to the end of this?!!?! thank you from the bottom of my black heart to all the peeps who reached out and encouraged me, thank you for all your likes and reblogs and engagement, and special thanks to @idkbroletssee, @yodladi-yodlada, @aquaaquila, @onceuponalegendbg, @vinspiration-book, @sallysetonagathario, @2-the-moon-and-2-saturn, @yourlocalegotisticalqueerishere, @isagrimorie, @jojobobapalooza, @netellie, @nutella-icecream, @talysalankil, @ragnarockz, @misschanandlerbong25, @westviews-nosiest, @liminal-smith, @kendrysaneela, @whogirl42, @witchtwig, @nerdybeachbum299, @bogcrowe, @the-silence-in-between, @farminglesbian, @lazyreinelle @fantasticvoidnerdshoe, @ofutopia, I'm sure I'm forgetting many but I promise I see you all!

Last but not least, big, grateful thanks to @crybabyheathen for always messaging me and forcing me out of my shell and encouraging much needed human interaction 😉. And lots of love to @april-december, don't tell anyone but I look forward to your comments the most, it truly means the world that you appreciate and engage with my posts like you've been doing.

Happy new year, everybody!

[jakedustry]

𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐒 - 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍

bf!sunghoon x fem!reader

in which Sunghoon swears he will be back on time, that his friends aren't more important than you, so you believe him, and let him go out on New Year's Eve, refusing to be a controlling girlfriend who doesn't let him out of the house, but you regret it soon enough when you watch the fireworks set off by yourself because your boyfriend isn't home on time.

wc 1.3k

warnings reader is called controlling by his friends, broken promises, angst

↪ izzy adds... oops, we've got some angst here

event m.list

“Baby, I’ll be back in an hour max. I promise.” You sigh, looking into your boyfriend’s eyes. You hesitate, glancing at your phone to see the time. “Okay,” you mumble, even though you aren’t happy about it. You don’t want to control his life and forbid him from seeing his friends, but you also don’t want to be alone either. “I’ll just hang out with them for a bit and will be right back,” he assures you, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. You smile, watching him take his jacket and with one last “I love you,” before the door shuts behind him. 

Sunghoon sits in the empty park, his friends around him, laughing over a memory of their trip from last year. Honestly, it felt great. He loved you, with his whole heart, and loved spending time with you, but it’s been so long since he got to hang out with his friends, he needed this. “You were so annoying back then,” Heeseung comments, and Sunghoon has to agree. Riki gasps, but ends up laughing too. “Well, at least I didn’t make it my whole personality having a girlfriend waiting for me at home,” the youngest alludes, making him roll his eyes. “That’s true,” Jake, his best friend, nods. “I thought I’d kill Sunghoon when he spent the whole night talking about her instead of going to sleep.” 

“You guys are just jealous I have a girlfriend unlike you.” 

“Yeah, and where did that get you?” A scoff leaves Jay’s lips, and it makes Sunghoon frown. What was that supposed to mean? “What? I know you guys are thinking the same thing,” he raises his head in defense when he notices all six pairs of eyes on him. “I mean…” Heeseung clears his throat. “You mean?” Sunghoon hisses, and it makes the two exchange a look he can’t read. Whatever the fuck was going on at the moment wasn’t to his liking at all. 

“Well, you know, it took you hours to convince her to let you out with us today,” Heeseung exaggerates. “Come on, guys, don’t be like that,” Jungwon tries to interrupt them before it can turn into a fight, but no one seems to be listening to him. “It’s been forever since we’ve seen each other.” 

“I was busy,” Hoon argues. “It’s not her fault.” 

There’s another look of exchange between the two eldest. 

“Guys, don’t,” Jake shakes his head too, but he has no luck either. 

“And that time when you took her to Sunoo’s birthday party with you and she made you leave early because some girl was apparently all over you?” 

“Well, she was all over him,” Sunoo joins, slowly shutting down again when he receives a glare from Heeseung. 

“Since when do you have a problem with my girlfriend?” Sunghoon asks confusedly, trying to make sense of the whole conversation. Neither of them ever mentioned anything about having something against you, so it didn’t make sense for them to start now. Sure, he had been spending more time with you than with them lately, but that wasn’t your fault.  “We don’t,” Jungwon assures him immediately. “They had too much to drink and don’t know what they are saying. Trust me, Hoon, we think she is great for you.” 

“Yeah, it’s annoying that we haven’t been out in so long, but that isn’t anyone’s fault,” Jake nods. “We’re glad you are here with us now,” he pats Sunghoon’s back in an attempt to calm him down. 

“Guys!” Riki interrupts them, regretting ever teasing him about it in the first place now that he sees what he caused. “You know what we should do? Play,” he says the first thing that comes to his mind, pointing at the empty basketball court ahead of them. Their eyes follow his finger immediately, and it takes no time for them to move. 

The smell of seven sweaty guys isn’t something anyone would adore. But it seems like no one pays any attention to it as they run around, laughing loudly at Riki’s failed attempt at scoring. It wouldn’t have been all that funny if he wasn’t so cocky about it before the ball left his hands. 

“Well, that’s embarrassing,” he mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s because we’ve been playing for so long! I’m just tired,” he tries to excuse himself, but it only causes another wave of laughter to leave the boys’ mouths. 

“Okay, let’s take a break then,” Jungwon shakes his head at the youngest. 

Sunghoon sighs, running his fingers through his hair to get the sweaty strands off his forehead. “I’m never playing with you again,” he mumbles, frowning when the foul smell of sweat reaches his nose. 

“You’re saying that now,” Jake laughs, sitting down on the ground. “I’m glad we got to hang out today, guys,” he proclaims, looking up at the sky. It makes Sunghoon scoff. He is being too sentimental for no reason. 

“No, I agree,” Jungwon joins in, and it’s soon followed by agreement from all of them. “To another year together,” Heeseung laughs, raising his hand as if he were throwing a toast. The rest of the guys follow him, holding up fictional glasses to play along. 

“To another year together!” The seven voices echo through the park, and Sunghoon doesn’t think he could be happier at the moment. 

That is until his smile fades away as Sunoo starts counting down the seconds until midnight, and he realized just how much he has fucked up. 

“10…9…8…” Sunoo starts, the others slowly joining. But Sunghoon doesn’t. He’s screwed. He needs to get home in approximately…5 seconds. He squeezes his eyes shut, cursing himself out as he quickly looks around, trying to find the fastest way to your apartment. 

“Hoon, are you okay?” Jay asks, ignoring the count down and turning toward one of his friends instead. “I need to go home,” he answers, the desperation in his voice making Jay’s eyes widen. “My girl is waiting for me. Oh god, I should have been back hours ago,” he panics. 

The fireworks go off before Sunghoon can blink, and it feels like his whole world crumbles in front of him. 

“I– I have to go,” he only spares his friends a mere look, and before any of them can ask what’s going on, he is running away. 

“Baby–” Sunghoon’s voice breaks as he slams the door open and his eyes land on your figure. He regrets everything. 

You don’t turn around, keeping your eyes on the fireworks outside as you sit in front of your window, trying your best not to cry when you hear his voice. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes. You don’t move a bit then either. “Please, baby.” He sounds desperate. It’s obvious he knows damn well what he did wrong, but for some reason, that hurts you even more. Why would he stay out so late if he knew he would have to apologize when he came back? 

“Sunghoon, not now,” you mumble, keeping your back turned to him. You don’t want to—you can’t turn around. 

It feels like daggers are pushed into his chest when you finally speak up. “I think I’d prefer to be alone for a while.” No. No, no, no. He opens his mouth again, but closes it after an empty breath leaves his lips. He can’t leave you alone. Not now. “Please.” 

He knows it’s wrong, that he should run to you, hug you and never let go again. But your pleas make it impossible for him. So he turns around, one more apology leaving his mouth before he walks out, sliding to the ground right behind your door. 

He never meant for this to happen. He didn’t want to hurt you, especially not on New Year’s Eve when he knew how important it was for you. 

He sighs, resting his head on his knees. It’s not until he hears your muffled cry through the door that it hits him too. He fucked up so bad.

✧˖°. izzy's tags @beomiracles @adel222 @hwanghyunjinismybae @liaatiny @nxzz-skz @bamgeutsz @hmusunoo ✧˖°. want to get notified? join taglist here!

[livwritessometimes]

Can you please do a part 2 to “a footnote will do (for me)” with Charles Leclerc?

Perhaps, something like this: She moves on with someone else (one date), and he sees them, gets jealous and chases her. Apologising and grovelling all the way till they make up?

I loved that fix but it was heartbreaking

If The World Was Ending

: Charles Leclerc x Reader

: If the world was ending, you'd come over, right?

: Part 1

: Main Masterlist

: Author's Note - Here you go! Hope this heals the heartbreak from part 1 :)

...

I was distracted And in traffic I didn't feel it When the earthquake happened But it really got me thinkin' Were you out drinkin'? Were you in the living room Chillin' watchin' television

It's funny how life works—why is it that when you're in a rush, you find yourself stuck in endless traffic. Charles let out a sigh; he was exhausted. The past few months had not been the best for him. The season was finally over; he should have been out there relaxing but all Charles could think about was how they lost the constructor's championship. He knows it's not his fault—not entirely, at least—but he couldn't help letting his mind wander. Things had been good for a while; the constant hustle bustle had made his life better. The calm now left him with too much time on his hands to think. It had left him with time to think about his brother's engagement. He still remembers how happy he was the day he got the call from Enzo. It gave him time to think about Arthur—how he got to race with his little brother by his side. That memory brought a smile to Charles' face. It also gave him time to think about Alex; his Alex. Before he could think of anything else, Charles was brought back into reality by his phone ringing. It was her.

"Hey, I was just think-" Charles said before he got cut off by Alex.

"Are you okay?" She asked, voice a little panicky.

"What-ya of course, why?" He questioned, confused by her sudden panic.

"We just had an earthquake, did you not feel it?" She questioned.

"Oh...no not really. I'm stuck in traffic, i didn't feel much," Charles answered.

"Oh good! Alright, I'll see you soon, yeah?" She asked.

"Ya, I'll be there in 15, hopefully," Charles said before he hung up.

Setting his phone down, Charles looked out of the window once again, waiting for the traffic to clear up. As he waited, his mind went to one person—someone who had been on his mind for a while now. He knows he shouldn't think about her, he has a girlfriend and she has a boyfriend—or at least that's what he assumes based on what Arthur had said. Charles had no business thinking about Y/n. It was his fault they drifted apart. Had he not completely ignored Y/n after her confession, they would still be in touch like they used to be, instead of become strangers who only see each other now at big celebrations.

Finally free from the traffic, Charles made his way towards his house. It was a Friday, which got him thinking: Was she out drinking? He wondered if Y/n felt the earthquake. Or was she at home, chilling and watching television with her new boyfriend? As much as he did not want to admit, the thought of that left a bitter taste in his mouth. Which was weird, because Charles was clearly happy with Alex. Why would the though of Y/n being happy with someone else hurt his heart? Not wanting to think further about this, Charles finally got out of his car and headed towards his apartment, to his girlfriend and dog waiting for his arrival.

It's been a year now Think I've figured out how How to let you go and let communication die out

Life was different now for Y/n. She had different goals, and different priorities. It's funny how so much can change in the span of a few months. Y/n had moved to a different house, one that was closer to her best friend, Arthur. She liked this house a lot better than her last; good lighting, a great neighborhood, and living super close to your closest friend—what more could she ask for? However, the real reason why Y/n liked this house so much was that it was in a location far away from him. She wouldn't have to worry about bumping into him every time she'd make a grocery run or go to her favourite coffee shop. Things had been good. She hadn't thought about him in a long time. It's weird how quickly you can go from talking everyday to barely seeing each other at all these days. Y/n preferred it this way. It honestly felt like a year had passed since she'd last seen Charles' face in person. Of course she still saw him on TV, but it just wasn't the same. Y/n even started seeing someone, all thanks to Arthur. This guy was good and clearly into her. It felt nice to finally be wanted. After chasing something for so long with no result, it was refreshing to feel wanted. Y/n figured that if she gave this guy a chance, maybe that would be her ticket to forgetting about Charles. And so far, it had worked. Y/n finally felt like she could move past what had happened between her and Charles. She had finally figured out how to let him go.

I know, you know, we know, You weren't down for forever and it's fine I know, you know, we know We weren't meant for each other and it's fine

Y/n stood in the kitchen, helping out Arthur's girlfriend with the snacks. It had been Arthur's idea to host a game night after watching a couple of reels about college kids hosting annual game night. 'I'm starting a family tradition,' is what he'd said when he invited Y/n and her boyfriend to his house. Rolling her eyes at the memory, she looked at the man in question, laughing at something Y/n's boyfriend had said. Slowly, she trailed her eyes to the left towards, the older Leclerc, only to find him already looking at her. Y/n quickly turned her head and focused on what Jade was talking about. Even though she had moved on, seeing him still felt strange. Every time she looked at Charles, she saw the face of the man she had loved at one point in time. It was also the face of the man who had rejected her. But that's okay now. She had accepted that they weren't meant for each other, even if it was a hard pill to swallow.

But if the world was ending You'd come over, right? You'd come over and you'd stay the night Would you love me for the hell of it? All our fears would be irrelevant

Hours had passed, and the entire group was now sprawled in different corners of the living room. They had spent the last few hours playing a variety of games, which had led to several heated arguments between the Leclerc brothers. Who would have thought they could get so competitive over board games? The night slowly died down and Enzo was the first one to leave. Arthur had dragged Y/n's boyfriend into a different room to show him something she didn't care enough to pay attention to. Making her way outside, she could see Alex and Jade in the kitchen cleaning up the aftermath of such intense game night. As she stared outside, she felt a presence next to her, followed by a soft, 'Hey'. Turning slightly towards the sound, she found Charles standing next to her, staring at the sky. "Hey," she murmured, glancing back ahead. "It's been a while...," said Charles, his gaze fixed on her. "It has. How have you been?" Y/n asked, keeping her eyes ahead, avoiding eye contact. "I've been good, I think," Charles said, his voice a bit uncertain. "How have you been? I see you're dating someone new now," He added, a hint of bitterness laced in his tone. Turning to face him, Y/n said, "Yeah, I have. He's a good guy. In fact, Arthur was the one who introduced us." Charles felt betrayed. How could he not, his own brother was responsible for this. "How is Alex? Oh, and how can I forget about little Leo?" She added. Upon her question, Charles glanced towards the kitchen where Alex was laughing at something Jade had said. He should feel happy—he has a girlfriend who loves him; he should be over the moon. Yet, for some reason, his mind wandered back to the lady in front of him. He could see the sincerity in her eyes—it was the same as when she had first offered him a lift to Arthur's party. The moon cast a soft glow on her face, and it took everything in Charles to not reach out and caress her cheek. Y/n raised an eyebrow at Charles, waiting for him to answer her. "Oh, yeah, things have been good. They're good," Charles said bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck. "Good," Y/n replied, watching as her boyfriend make his way into the living room. "Well, that's my cue. I should get going. It's—it's been nice catching up after such a long time," Y/n smiled at him as she walked into the living room towards her boyfriend. Charles stood there for a moment, watching her leave with her boyfriend. Glancing back at the sky, he muttered to himself, "Good...but not the same without you."

I tried to imagine Your reaction It didn't scare me when the earthquake happened But it really got me thinkin' The night we went drinkin' Stumbled in the house And didn't make it past the kitchen

Y/n slowly made her way to the bathroom, taking off one earring at a time. She felt her boyfriend press a gentle kiss to her forehead before heading off to change his clothes. Staring at the mirror in front of her, she let out a sigh. Tonight was harder than Y/n had expected. Seeing him again shook the very foundation she had spent months building. It baffled her how Charles still held so much power over her. Talking to Charles after such a long time brought back so many memories, but one in particular stood out. She wasn't sure if it was the starry night that had reminded her of that day, or if simply being in Charles' presence had sparked that memory.

*flashback*

It was after a particularly rough Grand Prix that Y/n and Charles found themselves getting absolutely wasted. It was a quiet bar near Y/n's house, one that didn't have many visitors—especially considering it was 3 a.m. Slowly getting up, Y/n stumbled, losing her footing. She fully expected to smack the floor when a strong pair of arms broke her fall and steadied her. "It's okay, I've got you," Charles said as he led her out of the bar towards her house, not once letting go of her. It took them exactly 8 minutes to get the lock to Y/n's door. She remembers it because that's how long Charles kept on hugging her, leaning into her for 'moral support,' as he liked to call it. Slowly the two stumbled into her house. As they walked inside, Charles lost his footing and fell to the floor, pulling a drunk Y/n down with him. Worried, Charles quickly sat up, looking at Y/n to check if she was alright. His worry soon eased as the room was filled with Y/n's laughter. Seeing her laugh, Charles couldn't help but join in. He laid back down besides her, still smiling. "I love you Y/n/n," said Charles as he pulled her in for a hug. Unbeknownst to him, Y/n instantly sobered up when she heard him say those three words. There lay a drunk Charles, happily snuggling with what he assumed to be a drunk Y/n, forgetting about all the worries in the world and just being content lying there with her. Alternatively, there lay Y/n in the arms of the boy she realized she saw as much more than 'just a friend,' thinking if the world were to end tomorrow, she'd be happy to die like this—in his arms.

*present*

Finishing the last step of her nighttime routine, Y/n made her way to her bed, into the arms of her boyfriend. She knew it was wrong; she shouldn't think like this. But one thought lingered in her mind—It's not the same.

Ah. it's been a year now Think I've figured out how How to think about you without it rippin' my heart out

The drive back home was a silent one for Charles and Alex. For the first time in a long time, Charles felt happy. Not once did he think about racing or losing the championship. Not once did the negative thoughts that had plagued his mind for months resurface. He'd like to think it was because of the game night, but no matter how much he wanted that to be true, he knew that wasn't the reason for this happiness. It made him wonder if he had made a mistake—getting together with Alex so quickly, adding Leo into the mix. It made him wonder what would have happened if he had given her a chance, if only he had waited to see how things might play out. Charles thought he had matured. He figured it had been months now, it wouldn't affect him as much. But he was wrong. Even now, after all this time, thinking about her, about them, still breaks his heart.

I know, you know, we know You weren't down for forever and it's fine I know, you know, we know We weren't meant for each other and it's fine If the world was ending You'd come over, right? You'd come over, right? You'd come over, you'd come over, you'd come over, right?

Charles just couldn't fall asleep. No matter how hard he tried, he lay there, in his bed, wide awake. He looked to his side to find Alex passed out with Leo by her feet. As much as he hated to admit, he did not find the sight as comforting as he used to. Looking back at the ceiling, Charles could not bear to let his thoughts run wild for another second. Quickly, he got up and changed into his tracks. He figured a jog would help calm his mind down. And so, that's what he did: he grabbed his keys and made his way out of the house at 2 a.m. for a late-night run.

The second Charles stepped onto the street, he ran. He ran for as long as his feet could take him. After running for what felt like hours, Charles stopped by a park. He took a moment to look at his surroundings and realized he was far away from his neighborhood. Instead, he realized he was much closer to the place he had just come home from a few hours ago—he was near Arthur's neighborhood. Making his way inside the park, Charles spotted someone sitting on one of the benches. As he walked closer, he realized that it was the one person he wanted to get out of his mind. "Y/n?" said Charles in a confused tone. Looking up at the sound, Y/n came face to face with Charles. "Charles! What are you doing here?" She asked, confused by his sudden presence. "I could ask you the same," he paused to look at his watch before continuing, "That too, at 3 a.m.?" Not knowing what to say, Y/n scooted a little, inviting the boy to take a seat next to her. "I couldn't sleep," she said in a quiet voice. For a while, neither of them said anything. The two sat there in silence, enjoying the peace and quiet.

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if things had gone differently?" Charles questioned, breaking the silence. "Huh? Differently, how?" Y/n asked, confused about what the boy in front of her was getting at. Charles knows he shouldn't say it, but he couldn't help himself. In his mind, it was either now or never. "Do you ever wonder if things would have been different, had I—had we, um..." Charles hesitated. "Had we what, Charles?" Y/n asked, now turned, giving him her full attention. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "Had we gotten together? Had I reacted differently to your confession? Do you think things would have been different then?" Stunned at his question, Y/n was taken aback. "I don't see the point in bringing this up now, Charles. It doesn't matter anyways," she said, slowly turned away from the boy. In an instant, Charles grabbed her hands, stopping her. "It matters to me, Y/n, please," he pleaded. "I don't know, Charles...I don't know, maybe?" Y/n said. Letting out a sigh, she continued, "Why now, though? Why now, when I have a boyfriend and you have a girlfriend...and a DOG, for fuck's sake." Y/n suddenly felt anger towards the boy. Why was he having these doubts all of a sudden? And why now, of all times? She had finally gotten used to living without constantly having him in the back of her mind. So why now? "Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I'm aware of how wrong all of this is? I tried to forget you. I tried really hard to forget every single thing about you, and for a while, it worked. I was happy; I was so happy with Alex, and then we got Leo. I felt complete...but it only lasted for a while. Every time I had a bad day, you were the first person I thought about calling. Every time I won a race or got a podium, your eyes were the ones I searched for as soon as I got up there. Do you think I wanted this to happen? Do you think I enjoyed breaking your heart back then? I hated myself for the way I reacted," Charles said, finally letting go of every single thing he had been holding onto for such a long time. "WELL THEN WHY DID YOU REACT THAT WAY?" Y/n said, losing her cool after Charles' outburst. "I—I don't know," he said, ashamed of the way he handled things. "I just assumed, if we became a couple, things wouldn't work out, because let's be honest I know my luck—they never do, and then we break up. So, I not only lose you, I also lose a bond that I held so close to my heart," he continued. Y/n was at a loss for words. It felt like a fever dream. All she wanted was for Charles to want her. And now that he did, she wasn't sure what to do. Somehow, amidst all this chaos, Y/n's mind drifted to Alex. She wondered if Alex was aware of this, If she had her doubts. She thought about how happy Alex looked earlier today. Snapping out of her thoughts, Y/n got up. "Charles...I'm sorry but we can't—I can't do this. Think about Alex. How can you do this to her? I have a boyfriend now, and for once, I don't have to hope that he feels the same way I do. For once, I don't have to doubt the feelings that we share—whether they're real or not. I'm sorry, but there will never be an 'us,'" Y/n said as she started to walk towards her apartment.

"You said 'feelings.' Does that mean you don't love him?" Charles questioned. Turning back to look at the boy, who was now standing as well, "What?" Y/n asked. "You just said 'the feelings you share,' and not love. Does that mean you don't love him? Is it because, deep down, you know, you still love me?" Charles questioned, taking a step closer. "I'm sorry, Charles," Y/n said as she walked away, leaving Charles all alone in the middle of the park.

I know, you know, we know You weren't down for forever and it's fine I know, you, know, we know We weren't meant for each other and it's fine

The next time Y/n heard about Charles was a few months later. She had decided to spend the day with Arthur and Jade. The trio had spent the majority of their day lounging and watching movies. As the day progressed, they slowly got comfortable on the couch and started to talk about a variety of things, with a glass of wine in hand. Somewhere in between, the conversation about Enzo and Charlotte's wedding came up. "Hey Y/n/n, do you have a date in mind?" Jade asked. Y/n had broken up with her boyfriend not long after that night in the park with Charles. Arthur gave Y/n a sad smile. He knew about Y/n's crush, and Charles' rejection. He also knew about that night in the park. "Umm...not really, I don't have anyone particular in mind," said Y/n with a little hesitation. "Ahh, you know what? why don't you go with Charles? I always thought you two would make a cute pair," said Jade as she got up to get some more snacks. Upon hearing this, Y/n shot Arthur a look. "What?" she asked. Taking a sip of his drink, Arthur said, "He broke up with her." He continued, "He broke up with her a while ago...A few weeks after the park incident." Y/n didn't know how to react. "I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to feel guilty over their breakup," said Arthur. A soft 'Oh' was all Y/n could mutter. "Just know it's not your fault. He chose to break up with her. This has nothing to do with you," said Arthur. Getting up to go get another bottle, he turned around and said, "I know things are complicated between the two of you, but for what it's worth, don't let this guilt stop you from going after what you want. That is, if that's what you still want." With that Arthur left Y/n alone with her thoughts.

But if the world was ending You'd come over, right? You'd come over and you'd stay the night Would you love me for the hell of it? All our fears would be irrelevant If the world was ending You'd come over, right?

Everything about tonight was perfect—the lights, the decoration, the location; it was all perfect. Y/n felt honored when Charlotte had asked her to be one of her bridesmaids. She still remembers how she could not stop crying and how it took both Enzo and Charlotte to calm her down. Standing in front of her was Enzo, a man Y/n considered to be her older brother, looking as handsome as ever. Locking eyes with her, Enzo smiled at Y/n. 'You've got this,' she mouthed to him. Diverting her eyes, Y/n made eye contact with him. Standing tall in an expensive suit was none other than Enzo's younger brother, Charles. The two had not spoken even once since that night—not when they arrived at the wedding location, not at the family dinner, and not even when they walked down the aisle together as the groomsman and bridesmaid. It was clear that Charles wanted to talk to her. He made many attempts to convey that. Y/n, however, wasn't ready to have that talk. Doing so would mean the two would have to come face-to-face with the fact that they unintentionally sabotaged their relationships for each other—something Y/n was not ready to accept.

The ceremony was beautiful. Y/n even shed a few tears at the couple's vow's. It was finally time for their reception. As everyone was making their way to reception venue, Y/n was pulled into the corner by someone. Before she could say anything, she heard "Shh, It's me," and then the owner of that voice came in view. "Charles," she said, although her voice came muffled under Charles' hand. Smiling at her, he said, "I wanted to talk to you, which I think you have noticed by now, considering you suddenly vanish the moment I make my way towards you." Removing his hand from over her mouth, Y/n said, "What do you want Charles?" "Isn't it obvious by now? I want you, Y/n. I know what I said in the park was stupid and selfish. I shouldn't have unloaded my feeling onto you like that. I know I should have figured things out for myself before I did anything. And I've learned it the hard way. I know I hurt a lot of people in the process, and I genuinely regret that. If I could go back in time and reverse things, I would. But you also have to know I have never been more sure about anything else in my life than I am about you since that night in the park. I love you, and I have loved you ever since I met you. I want to be the person you call after a long day, the one you think about every time something good happens in your life. Most of all, I want to be the one you think about, no matter what," said Charles, holding nothing but sincerity in his eyes. Y/n let out a few tears she didn't know she had been holding in. "How are you so sure things will work out? How do you know we're not going to wake up in a year or two's time and realize how big of a mistake this was? And how things would have been better had we let them be just the way they were? How?" Y/n questioned Charles. "I don't, and I can't be sure that this will work out," said Charles. Taking a step forward, he held onto Y/n's hand before continuing, "But I know that you're worth the risk. I had to learn it the long way," he said with a smirk, upon which Y/n smacked his arm. "Charles!" she said in a tone of warning. "I'm sorry, mon amour, but you should know, if the world was going to end tomorrow, you'd be the only person I would want to spend the night with. No matter what happens I want you, Y/n. You're worth the risk," said Charles.

No, there wouldn't be a reason why We would even have to say goodbye

"Are you sure about this, Charles," said Y/n as she looked at him. "I'm more than sure, mon amour," said Charles, his eyes gleaming with nothing but sincerity and love. And so Y/n nodded her head. "Yes," she said as she looked at the boy kneeling in front of her. Jumping up in joy, Charles let out a scream, "She said yes!" All of a sudden, their friends and family came out from where they were hiding, all excited to congratulate the couple on their engagement. Y/n was pulled into an embrace by none other than her best friend, "You knew, didn't you?" she asked. "Of course I knew, who do you think helped him pick out that ring," said Arthur, still hugging her. "I'm happy for you," he said as he pulled away. "Me too," Y/n said smiling up at him.

As Y/n looked at Charles, she knew no matter her fears and doubts, she would never regret this decision—ever.

...

[winchesterwild78]

The Art of Not Saying "I Love You" pt 2

Master List

Characters: Soldier Boy, Ben x Reader, other characters from The Boys

Warnings: Angst, language, SMUT! (all sorts of fun, unprotected sex-cover it up people), violence

A/N: This chapter starts breaking down the enemy part of our reader and Ben. Also, Tom is a dick 😂 Not sure if I’m going to write another chapter after this. I might have one more for this one. 

I do not own the rights to the characters in this story. This does not follow The Boys timeline, and is a work of fiction.

All work is my own, please don’t take it or use it without permission. Reblogs and Likes are always welcome.

Written and edited fast, please overlook any errors. 

Minors DNI 18+

I ordered room service but couldn’t eat anything. My stomach was in knots. Ben’s words echoed in my head, “He was with his wife. They have a 5 year old son and she’s pregnant.” 

I felt sick. I’d been dating, and sleeping with a married man. Now I understood why he never stayed and why he’d never let me go to his place. 

I felt so stupid and used. Now Ben knew and I’m sure he was just loving this. I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a shaky breath. 

Turning on my phone I called Tom. I had no idea what I was going to say. 

“Hey, Y/N. Are you okay? Butcher and Annie are looking for you. I’ve tried to call a million times.” Tom’s voice made my stomach turn as soon as I heard it. 

My heart pounded, “Is it true?” Was all I could manage to get out. 

“Yes, baby. We’ve all been worried sick.” I scoffed, “I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about your wife and son, and let’s not forget your unborn child.” 

The line was silent. “Ben told you, didn’t he? Stupid bastard. I told him I’d tell you.” 

“Oh no! Don’t you fucking blame him for this. You’re the fucking liar who cheated on his PREGNANT wife with me!” 

“Baby, I swear I can explain.” “Ha! There’s nothing to explain. You’re married with kids and lied to me. That seems pretty cut and dry to me.” 

“It’s not that simple. Vicky and I were having problems and I met you at the bar. Things happened and I fell in love with you.” 

“No, Tom. You don’t know what love is. This, what we had isn’t love. It’s wrong and it’s over. Lose my number and don’t contact me again.” 

“Baby please don’t do this.” He pleaded. 

“I’m not your baby, Tom.” 

“Fine, go ahead and throw this away. Go fuck Soldier Boy. I know you’re dying to. It’s obvious he wants my sloppy seconds.” 

“You know what Tom, I might just do that. I bet he can actually give me an orgasm!” 

“Fuck you! You know nobody is going to love you like I did. You’re damaged, fat and pathetic, you know that.” 

“Okay, Tom. I’d rather be damaged than a fucking cheater. Enjoy what’s left of your marriage.” 

I hung up and could feel the anger rise in me. I tried to call Annie and Butcher but they didn’t answer. 

I took a deep breath and called Ben. “Hey doll face. Are you okay?” 

“Not really, but I will be. Ben, I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you.” 

“Hey, where are you?” I bit my lip. I knew what would happen if I told him. He’d come to me. Part of me wanted it, but another part was still so angry at him. 

“I’m at the Park Avenue hotel, room 233.” “I’m on my way, sweetheart.” “Okay” I whispered. 

My heart fluttered in my chest at the sound of him calling me “sweetheart”. I liked it a little too much. 

A few minutes later there was a pounding on the door. Swinging the door open I saw Ben. He looked so tired but relieved. 

He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me into the room, kicking the door shut with his foot. 

His lips were on mine in an instant. I moaned into his mouth. He started kissing down my neck, “Tell me to stop and I’ll stop.” 

I didn’t say anything. I wanted him to keep going. 

“You have to tell me to stop, because once we cross this line we aren’t going back.”

“Ben, don’t stop, please. I need you.” 

His hand found the hem of my shirt, lifted it up and pulled it over my head. 

His lips back on my body as his kisses left a tail of fire on my skin. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” His hands slid to my back and unhooked my bra. My breasts sprang free from the confines of the material and Ben licked and sucked each nipple. 

My skin, my body was on fire. He gently laid me back on the bed and removed his shirt. I bit my lip and clenched my thighs together at the sight before me. 

He climbed on the bed, legs between my thighs and he hovered over my body. His hands trailing down my body to the waistband of my pants. His green eyes, dark with lust, looked at me and I nodded. Hooking his fingers in my pants he pulled them off. Leaving me in nothing but my panties. 

He stood, and removed his pants and his boxers. I licked my lips when I saw his long, thick cock spring out of his boxers. “Fuck” I whispered. 

He smirked, “Like what you see sweetheart?” I nodded, “Yes, I need to taste you.” 

He raised his eyebrows, “Are you sure you can handle it?” I nodded eagerly. I leaned up, took his length in my hand and guided the pink, swollen tip to my mouth. 

I licked every inch of him from the tip, down the veiny shaft and to the base. Pulling moans from Ben’s lips. I licked back up his shaft and opened my, taking every inch in. 

Ben’s hands went into my hair, gripping and pushing his hips further into me. His cock so long it gagged me a bit, but I was able to adjust to his size. 

As I pulled back, my tongue swirled around his shaft. “Fuck sweetheart, that feels incredible.” He moaned as he pushed my head back down. 

I hummed with him in my mouth and he groaned, loudly. 

The pornographic sounds filling the room were soaking my panties. The wet sound of me sucking him and the grunts and groans falling from his lips were absolutely sinful in the best way. 

His hips slammed his cock deeper in my throat. “Fuck!” He pulled me off, “Sorry sweetheart I was about to cum down that pretty little throat of yours and I’m not done with you yet.” 

I wiped the saliva and precum from my lips and Ben kissed me, deeply. He helped me lay back on the bed and he spread my legs. He smirked, “Damn baby, your panties are soaked. All this from sucking me.” He hooked my panties in his fingers and pulled them off. 

Taking his thick, calloused fingers he slid them in between my folds, pulling a moan from my lips. 

“You’re so fucking wet, darlin’. You’re ready for me aren’t you?” I nodded. My body ached for him. 

His large hands parted my thighs as he slid down. “I need to taste you, make you cum on my face before I give you a proper fucking.” 

I bit my lip. His tongue and fingers went to work on my pussy. His tongue swirled, sucked and lapped at my swollen clit as his fingers pushed in and out of my pussy. 

My hips arched off the bed with each thrust and lick. I was overstimulated but not stimulated enough. My mind was a mess and I was starting to understand why all those women looked so fucked out when he finished with them. 

Ben was a sex god, and right now he was mine. “Mmm, look at you. So flushed and ready to cum. You want to cum, baby?” I babbled something incoherent and nodded. He smirked, “Cum then.” 

My body responded to his demand. I screamed his name and arched my body off the bed. It felt like I was floating. I had never cum like this before. It was amazing and I wanted it again. 

Ben kept working my bundle of nerves again. My legs were trying to close, but he pushed them open. “I’m not done with you yet. I know you have another one there. Cum for me baby girl.” 

Without warning I was coming again. My body was overstimulated and I was breathing hard. “Ben, please. I need you.” 

Ben leaned up, kissed my lips softly and nodded. He pumped himself a few times and lined up with my dripping wet entrance. 

He slowly pushed in. I grabbed the sheets and then his shoulders. “Relax baby.” He whispered in my ear. Kissing my lips as he slowly pushed every inch of himself in me. His thick cock stretched me in the most delicious way. 

Ben rested his head in the crook of my neck, “Damn you feel incredible, so tight.” Ben leaned up and slowly pulled himself out of me. I could feel every inch moving in and out. 

It was the most incredible feeling I’d ever felt. My hands gripped his shoulders with each thrust. I’d secretly imagined how this would feel, but nothing prepared me for this. 

I’d heard Ben when he was with other women. He was always fast and hard, satisfying both him and her, but this was different. He wasn’t in a hurry. Ben was savoring every second we spent together. 

Ben changed position a little bit, he was on his knees and took my legs, throwing them over his shoulders and his hips slammed into mine. 

“Look at you, so fucked out, so beautiful and mine.” I bit my lip, “Yes, Ben. Yours.” 

That spurred him on because he slammed into me. His grunts and thrusts louder, faster. “I want to coat your pretty insides with my hot seed. Fuck a baby into you.” His words took me by surprise, Ben was always so careful when he had sex. Otherwise he’d have hundreds of kids running around. 

Just as his words hit me I felt it. His release inside me, coating my walls. His thrusts ragged as he emptied himself in me. 

I felt his cock stop twitching and he slid out of me. Some of his cum spilled on the sheets. Ben walked to the bathroom, grabbed a washcloth and came back to clean us both up.

This took me by complete surprise. I never would have thought the infamous Soldier Boy was into aftercare. Once I was clean and so was he, Ben pulled me into his arms. 

Placing a soft kiss on my forehead, “Damn that was better than I imagined.” My heart thumped in my chest. I nodded, “Yeah, that was incredible, Ben.” 

He lifted my chin and kissed my lips. We laid in silence for a while, then Ben spoke first.

“Y/N, I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from Tom.” I looked confused, “Ben, it wasn’t your fault. You and I just met. How could you have known Tom was married?” “I knew something was off when he refused to stay with you and you’d never been at his place. I should have said something.”

I placed my hand on his chest, “Ben, honestly I don’t think I would have believed you. You told me when you found out, so that’s what matters.” “I should have snapped his neck when I saw him.” I shook my head, “No, Ben. His wife was there and you would have gone to jail. He’s not worth it.”

I laid in his arms and thought about the conversation Tom and I had on the phone. “I did confront him, you know.” Ben looked down at me, “I’m glad.” 

I told Ben what Tom said about Ben taking his sloppy seconds, then I told him what he said about me. Ben was pissed, “What a fucking pussy. If I see him again I’m going to kick his ass.” 

“Ben, he’s not worth it.” “He might not be, but you sure as hell are.” My heart fluttered in my chest. 

Shit! Don’t do it. Don’t fall for him. He doesn’t have long relationships. You’ll only end up hurt and alone. 

A few hours later I woke up alone. My heart sank. I rolled over and could still smell him on the pillow he was laying on. 

Looking over I saw a note. My heart beat wildly in my chest as I took it in hand.

Y/N,

Come home.

-B

“Home” A smile spread across my face. I grabbed my stuff and started to head back to the apartment. Maybe he could have a relationship with me. 

Ben’s POV

I look down and see her sleeping peacefully in my arms. God she’s so beautiful. How could anyone ever hurt her?

Brushing the hair out of her face I placed a soft kiss on her lips. I slid out of bed and wrote her a note telling her to come home. 

Pulling on my clothes I left as quietly as I could. Walking out in the cool air I could still smell her perfume and shampoo on me. Then I saw him. Walking down the sidewalk all smug. 

What he did to her, said to her played in my head and an anger rose in me. I could feel my chest burning hot, glowing. I tried to breathe to calm down, but seeing him holding hands with another woman just set me off. 

Before I knew what I was doing I walked up to him, grabbed him by his throat and pinned him to the wall. 

The woman with him screamed. “You stupid son of a bitch! You have another one?!” The woman begged me to let him go, I turned and looked at her, “Doll I’d leave this one alone. He’s married and has two kids.” She looked at Tom and gasped. She walked away.

“Now where was I?! How dare you call her damaged, fat, and pathetic!” I punched him in the face. He yelped in pain. A crowd gathered around us, a smirk tugging at my face. 

“Please, stop. I’m sorry.” Tom begged. Y/N’s face, tears and pain played in my head. I just kept punching him. 

“Ben! Stop!” A deep voice came from behind me. I turned, it was Butcher. “Do you know what this son of a bitch did, Butcher? What he did to Y/N?!” He placed a hand on my shoulder, “Yes, Ben I know, but this isn’t going to solve anything.” 

I released Tom and he fell to the ground. “You better bet glad he showed up.” Tom stood up and scampered off. 

Reader’s POV

Walking back into the apartment was strange. There was a heaviness to the air, a tension between Butcher and Ben. “Hey sweet pea.” Butcher said as he pulled me into a hug. “Hey.” I looked over at Ben, he couldn’t look at me. A pang of sadness stabbed my heart. “Welcome home, Y/N. Glad you came to your senses.” “Butcher, this is temporary until I can find a permanent place.” 

That’s when I noticed Ben’s jaw tighten and his eyes met mine. “Hey doll face. Glad you’re back.” I smiled and nodded, “Ben.” As he stood I noticed his hand.

“Oh my god, Ben. What happened to your hand?” He looked at it and chuckled, “Eh, it connected with some pussy’s face.” “Why don’t you tell her who’s face, Ben.” I looked at Butcher and then back at Ben. 

“Drop it, Butcher!” Ben growled. “No, Ben, tell me who, please.” I stepped closer and put a hand on his chest.

“Tom. He was out with another woman. Fucker hadn’t learned, plus he had to pay for what he did, said to you.” 

I didn’t know if I should be pissed or flattered he beat Tom up. “Oh Ben.” I leaned up and kissed his lips. He pulled me close and deepened the kiss. 

Butcher stood with his mouth on the floor. 

“I had to defend my girl. Besides, he had it coming. A real man doesn’t cheat on his wife.” I smiled, “What about his girlfriend?” “That too.” He smirked and pulled me close. “Now, let’s get you settled back in.”

He took me by my hand and led me to the bedroom, shutting the door and helping me settle back in.

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[marsdql]

Skating on thin ice

♡ 𝒥 — [ 양정원 ] ⊹₊⟡⋆ jungwon ── .✦ f!reader ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ . . . 𝒲𝒸 2.1𝒦

──── eyes full of 𝓆𝓊ℯ𝓈𝓉𝒾ℴ𝓃𝓈, we walk past eachother, pretending there’s no 𝒸ℴ𝓃𝓃ℯ𝒸𝓉𝒾ℴ𝓃 . . . { a lot of teasing, frenemies to lovers, fluff, crack, low self esteem, highschool drama, romance, bullying, self doubt, light angst? }

────୨ৎ────

“Y/n, I swear if I have to ask you to finish your homework once more, your phone will be on the side of the road!” Your mother yelled from across the kitchen.

Highschool has been on your back this year, everything becoming more and more difficult as the days fly by. You were never a math girl—science, sure. But math? Never. Definitely your worst subject. Nothing really ever made sense, well sometimes it did, but only in budget related stuff—of course you were only good in budgeting, shopping addict.

To make things better—Yang Jungwon, a boy who transferred just a year ago, would always pick on you for your math grades each time he’d see your note from the corner of his nosey eye. If you knew better, you’d make fun of him too—his science grade was trashy, while yours were always colourful.

He never meant any harm from it, he only does it because of the time you humiliated him in PE class when you got higher than him in the beep test, infront of all of his friends who were watching from outside your gym class. Although, your sensitive self cannot handle any insults towards your grades—especially when you’re trying all you’ve got—and still getting so low.

“Another 5? Comon now y/nnie, we’re IB students! You shouldn’t be getting this low now… didn’t you want to become a doctor?” Jungwon whispered in your ear from behind. You quickly yanked his head from your shoulder, making him jump back into place onto his seat behind you. ‘Do you ever get tired of making fun of me? Go focus on your own things.’ ‘I can’t focus on my own things when you have too many flaws…’ he said as he gave you a wink and plopped a lolly into his mouth.

As you were walking to the bus to go home, you were stopped again—by jungwon. “What do you want now, jungwon?” You said in an annoyed tone. “Hey, what’s with the attitude… I’m not here to say anything mean, unfortunately. My friend Sunghoon told me to ask you if you did ice skating, he said he saw your instagram profile and you had something about it in your bio” You were obsessed with figure skating, you claimed that you knew how to skate—when in reality, you fell the last time you tried it and now too scared to try it again. Yet, you still had it in your bio and made it seem as if you were a skater…

As a child, you didn’t do much sports like most people. You wanted to do taekwondo—too boyish for your parents. You wanted to do basketball—lost passion for it after 4th grade. You did gymnastics/dance—wasn’t as flexible as your other friends and got discouraged, slowly growing out of it. Now as a teenager, you felt the need to know a sport, but you knew that it’s only good to be actually amazing at a sport if you started it when you were young.

You went to a sports school and you were one of the only ones who never tried out for anything, too scared of people being better than you because of them doing the sports from a young age. —— “Y/n? Hello? Are you even listening to me? You loser… why are you zoning out at this time? Don’t make me scare you out of it!” Yelped the boy right next to you. “No! Okay? Get out of my face jungwon! I don’t know what you’re saying but whatever it is, no!” You forgot what he even said—too lost in thought to care. It was your stop so you had to hop off anyway.

Days pass by, it’s depressing during winter, nothing to do, especially on Christmas break. Suddenly, a loud, aggressive knock on your door catches your attention. Coming from behind it, “y/n! Y/n! Comon! I know you’re there, I can hear your grumpy sighs from here!”

As you opened the door, you were welcomed by his huge smile—jungwon’s. “Now, what on Earth are you doing here? Is it to tell my mom that-“ as you were about to finish your sentence, you spot your mom and another woman—who seems to be jungwon’s mother—walk from the driveway to your front door.

“Y/n, please welcome our guests with respect and go get the kettle ready. Now miss Yang, what do you prefer? Tea or coffee?” Said your mother before you were even able to process what was happening.

Jungwon stared at you with the biggest grin on his face—as if he planned this from the start. He stayed behind you in your house as you walked towards your kitchen, being the good daughter you are and doing what your mother telling you to do.

“Okay, so, care to tell me what you’re doing here? Did you convince your mother to become friends with mine so that you could annoy me in my own house aswell?” You asked him, avoiding eye contact at all costs—because the last thing you needed, was to add something on his list of “things to hate on y/n”.

As you turned on the kettle, filling it up with water, he responded with a more serious tone than usual “no seriously this time, they saw eachother at the supermarket near our school and recognized eachother from social media.. I didn’t believe it either when I saw my mom pull into your drive way.” How did he even know it was your house.. “and don’t ask me how I know it’s your house, you practically run off the bus and make it to your door before it can even driving.”

As Jungwon sat at the kitchen table, his usual smirk returned. “Anyway, back to the real question. Do you ice skate or not? Sunghoon won’t stop bugging me about it.”

You sighed, suddenly regretting every choice that led to you putting “figure skater enthusiast” in your Instagram bio. Avoiding his gaze, you muttered, “No, I don’t actually ice skate.”

Jungwon’s eyebrows shot up, his teasing grin reappearing. “Wait—what? But your bio—”

“I know, okay?” you snapped, crossing your arms defensively. “I just… I like watching figure skating, and I wanted to seem interesting, okay? People who are good at sports always seem so… cool. And I’m not good at anything.”

His grin faded, replaced by an unusually soft expression. “Hey, don’t say that. You’re good at plenty of things.”

You scoffed. “Name one.”

He leaned back, pretending to think. “Well, for starters, you’re great at making me laugh. Even when you’re mad. And you crushed me in that beep test, remember?”

“That doesn’t count,” you muttered, though your lips twitched upward. “I’m still not good at sports. Or anything else, really.”

Jungwon rolled his eyes. “Stop putting yourself down, y/n. You’re good at science, better than I’ll ever be. And honestly? Half the school’s scared of your sarcastic comebacks. That’s a skill.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Right. Sarcasm queen—what a talent.”

“Hey, it’s better than lying in your Instagram bio,” he shot back, smirking again. “But seriously, if you want to learn to ice skate, I can ask Sunghoon to help. He’s a pro.”

Your face flushed. “No way. That’s way too embarrassing.”

Jungwon leaned closer, a teasing glint in his eye. “What, afraid he’ll fall for you when he sees how graceful you are on the ice?”

“Shut up, Jungwon!” you said, shoving his shoulder, though you couldn’t stop the smile spreading across your face.

“Fine, fine,” he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “But for the record, you don’t have to be good at sports to be cool. And you definitely don’t need a fake bio to impress anyone.”

You blinked, caught off guard by his sincerity. “Thanks, Jungwon.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said, popping another lolly into his mouth. “Just don’t expect me to stop teasing you anytime soon. That’s what friends are for.”

Friends? The word lingered in your mind, leaving a strange warmth in its wake. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t so bad after all.

As the days went on, Jungwon started acting… differently. It wasn’t immediate, but you noticed. The sharp teasing comments he usually threw your way softened, replaced by subtle jokes that didn’t sting as much. He even started helping you with your math homework after class, though he made it clear it was only because he “couldn’t stand watching you struggle so much.”

You weren’t sure what to make of it. Was this some elaborate scheme to catch you off guard? Or had he genuinely decided to be nice? Either way, you couldn’t help but feel a little flustered by how much time he suddenly spent around you.

It was late on a snowy Thursday afternoon when it happened. You were sitting on a bench outside the school, waiting for the bus. The air was crisp, your breath visible as you tucked your hands into your coat pockets. Jungwon appeared out of nowhere, plopping down next to you, his usual lolly in his mouth.

“Waiting for the bus again? You know, one day you’re going to freeze to death out here,” he said, nudging you with his elbow.

“Thanks for the concern,” you replied dryly, though you couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips.

He tilted his head, studying you for a moment. “You look tired.”

“Wow, such a compliment,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Long day, that’s all.”

“Bet you’re overthinking something again,” he said casually, leaning back on the bench.

You hesitated. “Maybe. You’re being weirdly nice lately, and I don’t know why. It’s kind of throwing me off.”

Jungwon glanced at you, his expression unreadable for once. “Weirdly nice? Wow, thanks. I didn’t realize I was such a villain before.”

“You kind of were,” you teased, though your voice was quieter this time. “But seriously. Why are you being… like this? Did you get bored of making fun of me or something?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re so dense sometimes, y/n.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked, frowning.

He turned to face you fully, the teasing glint in his eyes replaced by something softer—something you couldn’t quite place. “It means… maybe I just like spending time with you. Maybe I like seeing that little smile you try to hide when you think I’m being funny. And maybe I realized I didn’t want you to think I only know how to annoy you.”

Your heart stuttered. For a second, you forgot how to breathe. “Jungwon… what are you saying?”

He sighed, his breath fogging up in the cold air. “I’m saying.. just, never mind—see you later y/n!” were the last thing he said before he left—your bus arriving at the same time.

t . . . b . . . c . . .

[tealvenetianmask]

new to the fandom, hello. i've seen a few posts on your blog about blitz's bad spelling being rooted in dyslexia, however i've noticed that all imps seem to have bad spelling, all the way back to flashbacks of the circus.

one could argue i suppose that spellings seen at the circus are written by his dad, and that dyslexia runs in the family. but i think the consistent imp misspellings are intended as another indication of how lower class imps are - that they are uneducated, perhaps not allowed to receive education, and thus don't know *how* to spell.

Welcome. I disagree, and I think you expected that.

I'll start with the claim you based everything on.

"I've noticed that all imps seem to have bad spelling, all the way back to flashbacks of the circus."

Now, I really dug. And I could only find one example of something spelled incorrectly in any of the circus flashbacks. This is from "Oops."

Okay. Someone spelled fireworks comically wrong. My bet is Cash (whatever the cause), and idk... we haven't seen a pattern. Just the one example. Maybe he's dyslexic too. Maybe he's poorly educated (more on that later). But that would all be more in the headcanon realm for me.

Other things are spelled correctly at the circus.

The only other non-Blitz example of an imp being unable to spell something is Striker in "Mastermind" struggling to spell/say grimoire. But who can blame him? I struggle to spell grimoire, and I'm a human with a masters degree.

Beyond that, Fizzarolli, Millie, and Moxxie (you know . . . all the secondary imp characters) are shown spelling things correctly.

Fizz uses shorthand and repeats letters for emphasis here and there, but all of the words that he fully spells out are spelled correctly. There's nothing that can really be called a spelling mistake here.

The same can be said about Millie's texts in "Seeing Stars." She uses shorthand, but it seems intentional. You can compare her spelling to Blitz's directly here. "Mackin" in this context just doesn't have a slangy/shorthand explanation in the same way. Neither does "were" for "where." This is because spelling is automatic for Millie, but it isn't for Blitz. He's using phonetic(ish) guesses.

We also have Moxxie writing down a report that Blitz dictates in "Mission: Antarctica."

The guy can spell perfectly.

But-- honestly? You only have to be familiar with Moxxie as a character to know that his spelling would be flawless . . . For example, look at how he calls Blitz out for his spelling and grammar in "Spring Broken."

Blitz is the ONLY character with a recurring pattern of poor spelling. And if the writers didn't want us to make something of it, they wouldn't keep showing it to us in almost every episode. Now his spelling isn't always bad (he does alright in his apology notes and then in his reports in the shorts- IF Moxxie isn't still writing for him). And I wrote a piece of meta here that explains why I think it might show a form of self-accommodation that's super common for people with learning disabilities.

Now. I'd like to talk about imps and education briefly. Yes, imps are marginalized by their society, often poor, and expected to work for higher demons. But I don't think they have it much worse in terms of education and daily life than say . . . marginalized people in today's real life societies. Their roles are more rigid, yes, but they do hold a range of jobs and participate fully in demon life in multiple rings of Hell.

Are imps on average less well educated than demons higher on Hell's hierarchy? Yes, I'm sure. But remember, Blitz tells us he dropped out of a college, and for that he'd have to be . . . you know, allowed to start at one. And we see imps being very competent consistently. I haven't seen anything that suggests that they're not allowed to be educated (though they're pretty clearly not allowed to access magical artifacts), so I suspect that most imps receive a basic education.

Now do some marginalized people in real life end up illiterate (completely or in part) either because their education is horribly disrupted or inadequate or because they have a learning disability that isn't properly addressed? YES. Do some people with dyslexia still struggle to spell in daily life even if they're well educated and absolutely literate? Also yes.

Imps have a range of experiences in a society that is complex (even if it's in the process of being fleshed out) and reflects our own in many ways.

Blitz is dyslexic. Thanks for reading.

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

tagged by @butchdiaz to do a 2024 fic roundup, muah! ily <3

apparently i wrote 10 fics and a total of 383,612 words what the fuck asdfghjkl my brain is so rotted

January

baby it's okay if we both end up afraid - 28k, mature, buddie & bathena, cruise ship disaster spec

Buck hadn’t forgotten how cold the ocean is. He hadn’t forgotten the bite of it or how the crest of a wave can feel like the edge of a knife or how the water stings and cuts and carves and settles in the bottom of your lungs and the pit of your stomach like a handful of broken glass. But he had forgotten the water’s weight. He had forgotten how heavy it is as it clings to you and refuses to let go, something he supposes he has in common with this powerful, almost undefeatable force of nature. Letting go has never been something he is good at, in any capacity, in any situation, always clinging clinging clinging like his very life depends on how well he can hold on to all the things that want him to release them. or, buck and bobby battle their past traumas in the middle of a shipwreck. eddie pines in the aftermath. and somehow, for all of them, love endures and overcomes.

February

you fill my head with you - 22k, mature, buddie, drunk confessions

And then everything winded down, their friends decided to turn in and head home. Him and Eddie were the last to leave, and he– He stumbled out of the bar right beside Eddie. He–Oh god, he threw himself all over Eddie. He flirted. He–he told Eddie that– Buck’s hand stills, the toothbrush lying on his tongue with dead weight, uncomfortable and somewhat annoying, but Buck can’t even think about that because he fucking told Eddie that he dreams about them kissing. What the fuck? What the actual, horrible, unholy fuck? Buck has to leave. He needs to find a deep, dark hole to climb inside. Bury himself so that he can never come out. He can never see Eddie again for as long as he lives and that’s such a terrifying, heartbreaking, impossible thought, but that’s the way it has to be. He told Eddie he dreams about them kissing. or, a night of drinking leads to buck confessing his feelings to eddie and they are both very stupid about it

April

the mouth is the thing that craves - 11k, explicit, buddie, cockwarming

Buck’s free hand comes up to Eddie’s face, fingertips brushing over Eddie’s mouth which is hanging open. Eddie isn’t sure when it started doing that but it is and his tongue twitches involuntarily when Buck slips the tips of his first three fingers past the row of Eddie’s bottom teeth. “Oh,” Buck murmurs, like he’s confirmed something to himself. “Yeah. Okay.” There’s no room in Eddie for anything that’s not grateful or warm or good, his heart spreading out wide in his chest, full and fat and working overtime as Buck smiles to himself, all small and lopsided and boyishly charming, and says, “You need something in your mouth, sweetheart? Need to hold me close, don’t you?”

or, eddie loves buck and he really loves buck's cock

June

except everything - 26k, explicit, buddie, fwb/getting high

Like most things with Eddie are, the regular sex is good. Fun. A fucking delight to be honest. Buck may be a bit lovesick and forced to hide needy whines like he is some dog trying not to be too cumbersome so his owner lets him stay, but he’s also more relaxed than he’s ever been, no matter the tension of his heavy love that only grows and grows and grows. It’s fine. Eddie bends Buck over the kitchen table and fucks him until he’s screaming, and it’s fine. Buck rides Eddie until he’s a babbling mess and his fingernails cut into Buck’s hip bones leaving marks Buck will trace later with a wretched wistfulness, and it’s fine. Eddie kisses Buck sweetly, finely, softly, as if that alone is enough, and it’s fine. Buck fingers Eddie until he comes all over himself, the sensation of his heartbeat basically in the palm of Buck’s hand, and it’s fine. It’s all so very fine. Buck is fine. or, buck and eddie become friends with benefits, get high, and confess their love in the stupidest and most endearing way possible.

August

i'm here with the door wide open - 24k, teen & up, buddie, post s6

Eddie eats and showers and puts on clothes. He goes to work, does his job, acts as fine as he can around his friends, attends therapy twice a week, and goes back home. Day after day after day. And it’s so fucking quiet. or, eddie copes with the absence of chris but also the presence of buck

cursed romantics//fataliatic collison - 16k, explicit, andrew blur/sam halse, post ending smut

Andrew just wants. He was afraid he wouldn’t remember how to without Eddie. All of Andrew’s wanting was always so intrinsically tied up in the pathways of Eddie’s veins, seemingly born and cradled in Eddie’s blood, held within him so tightly, Andrew thought it would die right along with him. It didn’t. Oh, how it didn’t. It burns brightly in him for Sam Halse, his want. It flows through him easier than anything, more intoxicating than any drug. or, after the ending of summer sons andrew and sam figure some things out and fuck nasty about it

October

sweet sunbursts of flesh pink magic - 5k, explicit, buddie, magic!buck

Buck’s magic has always been a bit volatile. Jittery. Fluctuating. A touch reckless. Messy and bright and loud. Maddie says that a person’s magic is supposed to match the person themselves, that the form it takes isn’t happenstance or random, that it’s a reflection of your purest self, an extension of your soul that you can manipulate. Safe to say, Buck’s never cared for that assessment. or, buck has magic and eddie gets doused with sex pollen

still the bone remembers, still it wants - 148k, explicit, buddie, s5 eddie & therapy

The thing is, wanting has always been easy. The thing is, wanting has always been so hard. or, eddie goes to therapy and learns how to want. buck helps.

November

death wish love - 15k, explicit, buddie, post 8x06

Eddie opening the door, casual and filled with a type of swagger Buck didn’t understand. Pantsless. Thighs on display. Flushed and sweaty in his thin button up. Buck isn’t sure why the memory of that image makes his throat go tight. It didn’t faze him all that much at the time because he had other things on his mind and was sad enough that a true act of divinity probably wouldn’t have gotten a reaction out of him. But now– Well, now Buck looks at Eddie. Bare legs and a hint of his thighs. That dark mark on the back of his right leg peeking out from the hem of his shorts. Hair mussed and a little damp, curling behind his ears. The image of the Eddie in front of him now and the Eddie in front of him last night flicker back and forth on top of each other like some kind of montage or old movie reel. And Buck feels…pink. Caught. Stomach all fizzy and turning. or, after getting dumped by tommy and going to eddie's, buck wakes up the next morning only to be pummeled by his hangover and his attraction to eddie

December

a ghost in my lungs, a ghost in my mouth - 84k, explicit, buddie, eddie and buck can see ghosts

Buck is soaked to the bone. Skin puffy. Neck and chest lacerated by the cruel touch of lightning, as if it’s still contained within him and not eager to let him go. His curls are matted. Eyes charged but also vacant, like he is looking through two planes of reality and can’t focus. Awful. Beautiful. Eddie wants him to go away. Eddie wants him to stay. Eddie wants to shout at him until he wakes up. Eddie wants to forget this horrifying, pale version of his best friend, the man he loves. Eddie wants to touch him, make him real and whole. Buck takes a single step forward and Eddie’s breath collapses in his chest. He thinks Maddie is saying something, his name maybe, but it’s so muffled and distorted, and it doesn’t matter, not when Buck with his sad sad eyes is opening his mouth and saying, “I’m trying.” or, in the aftermath of the lightning strike eddie is haunted by buck's ghost

tagging @spaceprincessem @shitouttabuck @try-set-me-on-fire @lemonzestywrites @chronicowboy @colonoscopys @devirnis @sibylsleaves @absolutelybifurious @spotsandsocks @queerdiazs @shyaudacity @elvensorceress @lonelychicago @bi-buckrights @bigfootsmom @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus and whoever else wants to do this!

[mo-ali-m]

With you - Jamal Musiala

"If you ever feel alone and

The glare makes me hard to find

Just know that I'm always

Parallel on the other side"

Warnings: English is not my first language, there may be errors.

There are days when all we need is comfort, even when we are too big to fit in our mother's arms, or even when we are no longer old enough to cry on our father's shoulders.

Sometimes we just want to forget about our problems and live peacefully, within our own minds on a good day.

For you, these days were becoming much more frequent than recommended, with end-of-semester exams approaching and days with Jamal becoming scarcer. It wasn't like he complained about the situation, quite the opposite, his boyfriend was always supportive, so much so that he took advantage of a few days off that the coach had given him to rest at his house, he knew how difficult it was for you during this period of the year

— Baby, what do you think of Pride and Prejudice for today?— His voice woke you up from your conflicting thoughts, when you looked at him, the doe’s orbs were already fixed on you.

— It seems perfect to me — You murmured, smiling forcedly as you tried to mask your low self-esteem that day.

But Jamal knew you better, more than you did with yourself. After a year of dating, he could decipher you even with your eyes closed, ears covered and mute. You were like an open book.That's why his soft lips closed in a straight line, the thorough analysis only confirmed what he had already suspected since that morning: you were more than exhausted.

— Okay... so you stay here and I'll make the popcorn, put on the movie and I'll be right back.

The tall body covered in the couple's sweatshirt that you shared at that moment moved to the kitchen, determined to provide you with the best and most comfortable day possible.

A few minutes later and a bucket of buttered popcorn filled to the brim, you and Jamal were snuggled under a blanket, his warm figure on top of yours, his masculine hand resting against your belly under your sweatshirt.

You noticed that even in silence he looked after you and checked up on you, always eavesdropping on your expressions when he thought you weren't being seen. Jamal caressed him carefully, his soft, warm fingers making circles on his skin while his hands caressed his curls. Both very comfortable with each other.

— You know, I like being like this with you — he shrugged, speaking softly, his cheek against your belly — Just the two of us, together in our own corner after a tiring day.

A smile graced your lips with his speech, silently agreeing with a murmur also under his breath

— I like that too, it's like throwing myself into a sea of ​​balm — you laughed, being accompanied by him — It's been a while since we've been like this, hasn't it?

Jamal whispered a quick "yes", lifting his body enough so that their faces were level. Bambi's eyes looked at you with tenderness and understanding.

— Meine Liebe, let's promise something?

Confused, you nodded, still stroking his hair low.

— When things get difficult we won't forget each other, because that's why we're together too. To take care of each other in difficult times, even if I don't understand anything that those complex books from your college are talking about — You laughed softly, tears filling your eyes both from exhaustion of everything and from gratitude to him —Still, I will always help you, just like you do with me.

— Alright, let's do this — you nodded, your voice breaking making him hug you, tears flowing without permission down your cheeks — I love you Jamal, more than anything.

He smiled brightly, tightening his grip around your crying figure.

— I love you too, darling, more than anything — his lips kissed yours with love — And I will always be with you, until the end of my life.

With a warm heart and calm emotions you smiled, kissing him back more strongly, sealing that mutual agreement of being together with affection. Forever.