#thing is when i see these accusations i always go check the blog in question and yeah if they're a transphobe they're getting blocked

[schalotte]

this tumblr culture of going "op of this post is a terf" and adding no proof is so ridiculous and dangerous. where are you getting this information from and why aren't you engaging with what the post is actually saying instead of going on a low effort witch hunt

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I invite everybody who took the other users side in that situation to find me a single situation where I was fatphobic and or went out of my way to be cruel or malicious to another user. After these crickets end, I'd like to invite the OP to prove that my reblog asking what their post means caused them hundreds of harassing messages in mere minutes, like they claimed. I will wait.

They posted one single message they got, from a person who wasn't a follower of mine and who responded to them after another user reblogged their post, which was confirmed by that other user. Before they closed their replies and closed themselves in an echochamber of people agreeing with them, I checked the notes a final time and though they did get criticism, as did I (and you all do know I listen to you and hear you and am always, ALWAYS open to conversation), those hundreds of messages of hate were nowhere to be seen.

Do you know why I know for sure they're lying about getting soooooooo much hate because of me? First of all, I've never cultivated a bullying culture on my blog. My followers can attest to that. I never supported users brigading for me. I don't have a cult following either way, but you can say I even discourage brigading. I always ask my followers not to fight others on my behalf. Not that it's necessary, because no one can say I get into drama often. Since making this blog, I can count maybe 5 situations that would be considered 'situations' to begin with. I don't have fans. I have bloggers that enjoy the content I post.

But secondly and more conclusively easily proven with numbers, I simply don't have that reach, nor do I have that many followers who are both active and fatphobic. I don't support fatphobia. I spoke out against fatphobia on this site. I've experienced it myself and I know how hurtful it is. My activity for this blog is abysmal due to me all but abandoning OTID in throes of my mental health battles. My posts get maybe 300 notes in total, over a 1000 if they're a hit reblog but that's it.

Hundreds of hate messages in minutes? Very unlikely. I'm not ashamed to admit OTID isn't what it used to be and that's completely on me and it's completely fine. My struggles stopped me from giving you the best possible OTID experience that you could've gotten and I feel very sorry for that, but I can be realistic and admit that this blog is just not that active anymore, and that's okay. All things die out with time. Lying on me wont change the facts that you're lying.

I also invite the people who say I should've known better and that my intent was unclear in asking the question, to explain about what I should have known better and to prove I was somehow malicious. Why would I be malicious? Why would I attack OP in the way they claim I did? When do I ever do that? How does that even make sense? You can still go through the notes and see that after I asked them for an explanation, nobody attacked them. You can also see that the OP went out of their way to attack me, while they explained calmly to another user what they meant.

What makes us different? Neither one of us understood. I can't read tones online, neither can that other user. I also am not a native speaker, so I sometimes get things wrong, hence why I asked. Why do they deserve kindness and I am accused of ill-intent for asking the same thing? Their replies and notes were off. I couldn't see the replies. This isn't Twitter. If you close those things off, other users don't see them and can't know you've made them. Why would anyone post things publicly but not expect a public response from anyone else?

I'd understand if I was attacking OP and they reacted like this, but I wasn't. My response wasn't malicious. I asked the source to explain, because I didn't understand. How is that malicious? To the people who say they see their point, please explain, because I do not see it and I really want to know. How is me genuinely asking what something that I don't understand means malicious? Even after publicly saying that I actually agree with a lot of things they said on their blog about fatphobia and so on. Supporting the cause? Understanding their points? Agreeing? I'm malicious?

I would also like to invite the people who claim I asked them in a known and rude/malicious meme format kind of way to prove that I did that. I did not know of this meme you speak of, but after checking for it online and finding the "well-known meme format" that was mentioned (which wasn't that well-known since I've never heard of it), my wording was not the same. It wasn't even close. So this argument, how can you claim it to be true?

And lastly, can anyone sincerely tell me how does it make sense for me to suddenly have a complete personality change, decide to reblog something to troll a user I don't even know just to be cruel to them, suddenly be malicious and fatphobic and be a completely different person that you all have known me to be for the past six years? If that was really who I am, wouldn't have the masked slipped way sooner? Why would I pretend to be not a complete POS all this time to have "What does this mean?" hill to die on? This is silly.

I wasn't being fatphobic. I wasn't mocking OP. I wasn't attacking OP. I wasn't being 'snarky'. I simply asked them what something they said meant, because I didn't understand what they meant. My brain wasn't computing. I didn't get their wording. I stumbled upon their post on the explore page, and wasn't seeking them out to antagonize them or anything else they might have claimed. I don't like hurting people. I don't go out of my way to hurt people. If I do hurt somebody I want to do everything in my power to correct it.

My followers weren't harassing them after that question. The OP didn't receive hundreds of hate messages after that question. OP is lying and it's easily to prove that they are. I don't know why they're lying and I'm not willing to get into that because I can't even assume, but one thing is clear - OP had a disproportionate reaction to a question that shouldn't have warranted such a reply. They doubled down and continued claiming victimhood in a situation where they haven't been victimized.

I genuinely feel sorry for them. I believe they've been victimized before. I know this sounds patronizing, but I really do feel sorry for them. I just don't appreciate that they've decided to do a victim cosplay over this and tried to villainize me for asking this question:

Ending this with my final thoughts: fatphobia is real and hurts people. I don't support fatphobia. I don't stand for it. I've met a lot of fatphobes in my life and all of them were deeply hurtful and insecure people who took out their insecurities on others. Here on OTID we don't vibe with shaming people for their weight nor for how they look. Fat people are people. Skinny people are people. We're all the same on the inside, bones and organs. What matters is how we treat others. I want to spend my days treating others with kindness and receiving kindness back. I like putting smiles on people's faces, not hurting others. I do get it wrong sometimes, and I acknowledge that, but I always try to correct myself, learn and be a better person. I admit when I'm wrong.

If this is my hill to die on, then so be it. But I promise you that I did not reblog OP's post and asked that question to make fun of them or invite harassment to them. I can't believe I even have to repeat this so many times, but I was asking because I didn't understand. I stand behind everything I've said. If your claim to fame is trying to fight me, you highly overestimate how many active followers I have and the kind of community you'll find here. If you want to cancel me for being fatphobic, I'm sorry to say but the only person I've ever been cruel to and who I've bodyshamed was my own self.

[captainlunaxmen]

The Lady and the Lord

Chapter 1

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

This is a repost since the old blog doesn't work anymore. 🥰

Chapter summary: pretty much the firstt episode from the reader perspective, also the first interaction with Eddie.

Chapter warnings: harassment, jocks.

Here I am, looking at my reflection in the mirror: last day before spring break begins. Thank goodness some peace at last.

I check one last time my appearance before hearing Steve honking right outside so I grab my bag and head out.

"Hey" I greet both him and Robin on the passenger sit.

"Hey Y/n"

"Hi" Robin sends me a big smile as I get in the car with them.

As always Steve is driving us to school.

"How's it going?" Steve asks immediately.

"Oh since today is last day, all fucking good" I say.

"I know right!" Robin "Hey, quick question and please be honest" she turn to look at me from her seat.

"Yeah?"

"Do I look like a corpse?" She asks.

Her question catching me completely off guard.

"What? No, why do you ask? Or, most importantly... since when do you even care?" I answer.

"Exactly" Steve agrees "thank you, honey"

"Stop calling her that. She's not your girlfriend" Robin scolds him.

"It's fine, I'm used to it" I laugh.

Steve's been my closest friend since... ever, basically. He always called me 'honey' as the most playful thing ever.

We grew apart after he started hanging out with Tommy and the rest of those 'lovely' people... anyway after the events involving the Upside Down we found each other again.

"See? She gets me." Steve says as a matter of fact.

"Whatever" Robin says as she starts to fix her look in the small mirror.

"How was your date with... uhm... Brenda..?" I hesitate a bit, I can't remember the name of each girl he goes out with.

"Stella" he corrects "Yeah.. Good, but not my type."

"Right.." I nod. "So who's Brenda?"

"Brenda is Tonight. Then there's Heidi tomorrow night, but the problem with Heidi is that she's going out of state for collage. Do I wanna start another relationship that has no point other than sex? I mean, I don't know. Does that make sense to you?" He then asks us, but Robin is definitely not paying attention and I lost track of the names long time ago.

"Are you two listening?" He asks.

"Yes"

"Yeah"

We both say quickly.

"What did I just say?" He tests us.

"Something about sex with... uhm" Robin starts turning to seek help.

"With Linda..?" I try.

"No, I'm talking about Heidi." He exclaims with an exasperated laugh.

"Cut me some slack, please. Your love life is one of labyrinthine complexity. It is 7 in the morning, we have the stupid pep rally, and I woke up looking like a total corpse!" Robin snaps.

"You don't look like a corpse, Robin, stop" I assure her again.

"You're worried about a pep rally? Expect us to believe that?" Steve says.

"Yeah? So?"

"So, we all know what this is about. I'm not buying that, Y/n is not buying that. This is about Vickie." He states.

"Absolutely not" Robin tries to defend herself.

"Yes it is, Robin, c'mon" I tell her.

"Oh so you're on his side now?" Robins accuses me.

"And you know what else I think?"

"I don't care-"

"You gotta stop pretending to be someone else when you're around her." Steve's using his motherly tone.

"You're literally quoting me to me. You do realise that." She replies.

"Well, then try to listen to yourself. How about that?" I tell her.

"Yeah, exactly. I listened. Look at me. Boom. Back on business." Steve says proudly.

"A little too much, but whatever works with you Stevie" I tease him.

"Yeah, but it's not the same thing. Okay? You ask a girl out and she says no. Big deal. Nothing happens. Maybe your ego is a little bruised. I ask out the wrong girl and bam, I'm a town pariah" she explains.

"I'd buy that, except Vicki's is definitely not the wrong girl." Steve tries to reassure her.

"We just don't know that, do we?" She says back.

"She returned 'fast times' paused at 53 minutes, 5 seconds. Do you know who pauses 'fast times' at 53 minutes, 5 seconds?" He asks looking at us "people who like boobies, Robin."

Oh god.

"Ew, gross don't say boobies" Robin replies not so sligly disgusted.

"Yeah, please Harrington" I say.

"Boobies! It's not a big deal, okay? I like boobies. You like boobies. Vickie likes boobies. Definitely... it's boobies."

His supporting ways are... peculiar, to say the least.

"Can we talk about something else? Thank you" she basically order us.

"Fine fine! So I got a date, Robin got her band thing, what about our lovely Y/n?" Steve asks.

"I gotta help Nancy at the game. I'll be taking pictures" I answer him simply.

"You know.. we gotta find someone for you." Steve simply says, like it was the most amazing idea ever.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"Well.. Robin and I can't be the only two with love problems" he answers. "Some solidarity, honey"

"I'm fine, thank you very much" I say laughing.

"Oh please! Nancy and Robin are the only ones you talk to at school, beside some 14 years old-" he starts.

"And I'm okay with it, Steve. Plus the perspective of having to talk to someone I don't know... scares me. So.. appreciate the thought, but no" I smile at him.

"Well you talked to me" Robin intervenes.

"That was different, our lives were at risk, russians, mind flayer, possessed people everywhere... that was deadly necessary" I chuckle, even if the events of last summer, and everything before that, don't have anything to chuckle about.

"Yeah well... think about it as deadly necessary too" Robin suggests.

"I don't have that imagination" I laugh.

"We'll find a way" Steve says to Robin quietly, to not make me hear, but I do.

"Don't you dare" I warn.

"Okay okay"

"Yeah sorry"

They say at the same time.

I don't want a relationship now, too much trouble. I need to focus on finishing this damn school, then I will have time to experiment and all that.

The day goes on pretty well, nothing major happening. A pretty normal day.

As I'm going to throw away the leftover of my lunch, in the cafeteria, I spot Mike and Dustin, nervously looking at their table.

I stop with them.

"You guys good?" I ask with a small chuckle "you look like you're about to get shot"

"That would be more gentle I'm sure" Dustin is the one to answer.

"What's wrong?"

"Well... Lucas decided to betray us and won't be present at tonight's campaign" Mike finally speaks.

"And... is that a tragedy because...?"

"It's the end of Eddie's campaign." Dustin answers.

"Can't you.. postpone?" I ask.

"That's our plan.. the problem is.. telling him" Dustin replies, swallowing hard.

"Oh c'mon. He's not that scary." I tell them.

"You say that only because you find him cute" Mike says.

"What?" I ask, feeling my face heat up at that.

"Anyway, why don't you sit with us and... protect us" Dustin asks.

"Oh no no no. No can do, little genius. Not a chance" I say.

"You'll have our lives on your conscience" He replies, raking a deep breath.

"After all those times I saved you asses from demo-things, I think I can leave you to him for this once" I answer walking away.

After I threw away the food I take out my notes, to see what I need before going to Nancy.

I'm a bit lost in my thoughts as I walk near the wall when my attention is caught my Eddie Munson himself standing on the table, making faces at Jason and then turning around.

"It's forced conforming" I hear him say as he walks back on the table.

"That's what's killing the kids!" He says the last part shouting and jumping of the table, scaring a few people that walk by, not me though. I just chuckle as I keep walking.

He sees me and simply takes a theatrical step back to let me pass.

"After you, m'lady" he says as I walk past him sending him a small smile.

"C'mon, man, stop staring" one of his friends says, making me turn around to make eye contact with Eddie who was already looking at me.

He just winks at me with a smile, my face got warmer than before so I quickly turn my head around and just keep walking.

Did he actually just winked at me?

Nah... yeah?

Nah.

"Fucking hell.." I mutter as I walk to the gym.

Nancy needs more pictures of the basketball team for the school paper. So here I fucking am, on my way to the gym full of dickheads.

I enter and tell the coach I had to take pictures as the boys practice for the game.

As soon as he gives me permission I move around a bit to take as many pictures as possible so Nancy won't send me here again... hopefully.

As I stop near the benches to prepare the camera for another set of shots, one of the players come sit close to where I was standing, I feel him staring at me, but I pay him no mind though, focusing all my attention to the camera. Maybe if he sees that I'm busy he won't start a conversation.

"Hey there"

Boy, I was wrong...

I don't answer, pretending to not hear him might help.

"Hey, baby"

Nope. No help. At. All.

I just turn my head to face him and mutter a small "hi" before getting back to the camera.

"How are the pictures going?"

I can tell he's not really interested.

"Good" I simply say.

"Not so many words, uh? It's cool, actually better, you know" he comments.

I roll my eyes and keep fixing the object in my hand.

All of a sudden I feel him standing up.

Oh great he's finally going away...

"You look like you know what you're doing"

No...He stands right next to me, watching closely what I'm doing, making me go completely rigid.

"Yeah" I say quietly.

"Good with you hands too" he comments again, now he's basically attached to me.

"I guess" I say, moving away in a poor attempt to put some distance, but he's quick to follow.

"You're the quiet one, aren't you?" I can hear the teasing, mocking tone very clearly.

I obviously don't say anything, I just look around hoping someone catches on what's going on, but no one seems to notice.

"But I bet I can make you scream" he whispers directly in my ear, making me jump, but he quickly put his hands on my hips, preventing me to move too far. "I want to make you scream so loud everyone will know what a little whore you actually are"

"Get off" I tell him.

"Aah! She speaks" he fakes surprise. "You won't say those words tonight, trust me, you'll be all mine." He jokingly say, even if the 'joke' seems more like a threat.

Thankfully the bell rings and he just walks to the showers with the other, not before yelling "hope to see you tonight!" And laughs.

I quickly gather my things as soon as he disappeared into the showers, when Lucas' figure catches my eyes.

"Hey.." he timidly say.

"Hey" I say, trying to act like nothing happened.

"I... I'm sorry a-about Andy" he tries.

"Nothing happened" I say, still getting my things to avoid any eye contact with the boy.

"Y/n, I saw" he calmly says.

I take a deep breath and look at him.

"It's okay.. I mean, could you have stopped him? Not with the whole team here at least. Don't worry, kiddo" I say giving him a quick hug before stepping back. "Please... go shower, you smell" I playfully shove him towards the bathroom and then I walk out of the gym as quickly as possible.

I walk quickly while I put my things in the bag paying no attention to whatever's around me, in fact I run into someone, dropping some paper.

"I'm so sorry" I say kneeling down to grab the fallen paper.

"No worries, m'lady"

Eddie?

I look up and as I lock eyes with the metalhead, I look back down just as quickly.

"Here" he says kneeling down with me to help me gather my paperwork.

"Thanks" I say quietly standing back up, Eddie does too.

"No problem... hey, you okay? You look a bit.. shaken. Do those pricks give you trouble too?" he asks, concern hidden by a nervous chuckle.

"No, uhm.. he was just-" I cut myself off, seeing how he frowns, visibly concerned, trying to understand what happened, I shake my head "I'm fine. Don't worry" I finally say standing up, putting the paper back in my bag.

"Are you sure?" He asks again, eyeing the gym doors suspiciously.

"Yeah yeah. Thanks. I.. I gotta go" I say, but I stay put staring into his eyes.

When he nods with a small smile, I shake my head again and I quickly walk away.

"I got the pictures" I say walking back into the room to Nancy.

"Oh great, if they win tonight we need more pictures from them 'practicing the victory', thanks" she says handing the camera to another girl to have the movie developed.

"You okay?" She asks looking at me.

"Yeah, why?" I say, as calmly as possible.

"You look.. tense"

"Nah, I'm okay, just can't wait for this day to be over" I lie.

"Mh" she looks at me sceptically, but leave it alone. "You remember, I need you tonight at the championship game, for the picture of the game"

Fuck. I forgot about that...

"Yeah, yeah, no I... remember" I reply with a nervous chuckle.

Everyone is so excited about this game, everyone is cheering and clapping for the team to finally win.

The band is playing as always, I see Robin next to Vickie, hoping she's not feeling that nervous now.

The team enters the gym and the cheerleading squad, obviously, cheers louder and I take pictures next to Nancy and Fred who's ready to take notes.

I see Steve entering the gym too, with... oh shit.. Stacy.. no.. Carol... no, Brenda! Yes.

"Does it bother you that, like, we might win a championship right after you graduated?" I hear her asking Steve.

"Yeah, that's an interesting point. Thank you so much for bringing that up, Brenda" he answers looking around, to not show how her words slightly affected him. He locks eyes with me and I sarcastically pull my thumbs up for him, he just rolls his eyes and follow the blond girl to their seat.

"Everyone now please rise for our national anthem" Everybody stands up "singing for us tonight, we have a very special guest. All the way from Nashville, our very own Tammy Thomson!" He announces and leave the court.

Holy shit.

I hold back a laugh.

I'm gonna tease the hell put of Robin later, since Steve is already doing that now apparently. I see him mouthing something on the line of "muppet" at her after Tammy started to 'sing'.

Then the game begins and I just focus on taking pictures.

And they actually won... unbelievable.

Lucas finally got to show he can really play. I'm so proud of him.

I'm gonna congratulate him tomorrow, now he's enjoying his well-deserved glory, so I just walk out after saying goodbye to Nancy.

I hear someone yelling something, but I keep walking out of the school.

"Hey baby"

I still keep walking, when a sweaty, breathless Andy runs in front of me blocking my way.

"Hi baby" he repeats.

"Hi" I say and try to walk past him, but he moves to prevent me from going any further.

"Trying to run away from me?" He playfully asks.

"I just want to go home" I honestly say.

"Oh c'mon, come celebrate the win" he tries to convince me.

" I..." I start.

"I'll make it worth your while" he smirks.

He then moves closer, holding out a hand to try to touch my cheek but I instantly step back avoiding his hand.

"I'm tired... thanks, but I do have-"

"I told you you'll be mine tonight" he says, trying to sound seductive, but he just makes my blood run cold.

"I'm not interested" I say quietly.

"What was that?" He mockingly asks getting closer.

"She said she's not interested, man." Steve's voice catches both attention.

Thank goodness.

"We're having a moment here, Harrington" Andy says, annoyed.

"I think you're having a moment, she isn't. So be a gentleman and back the fuck off, man." Steve tells him. "Or I could just tell everyone you can't get a girl"

"Whatever man." Andy then turns to me "I'll see you around, baby"

When Andy walks away, Steve shouts "no you won't"

"You okay?" He turns to me.

"Yeah.. thank you Steve" I tell him.

"Don't mention it. Let's get your ass home" he says wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"And your date?" I ask with a small chuckle.

"Oh... not my type. Again. Just my luck" he says defeated.

"Oh don't worry, you'll find your true love" I assure him patting his back.

"If you liked me enough I wouldn't have this problem" he jokes.

"As well as Robin" I joke back.

"Yeah.. surrounded by amazing girls... who just don't like me" he dramatically says.

"We do like you, just not in the way you want" I tell him with a smile.

"Yeah yeah, don't rub it in, uh" He says.

"Righ. Better get your bruised ego home" I joke.

"Are you gonna be okay there all alone?" Steve asks after I climbed out of his car.

"Yeah, as always" I answer.

"Mh... call if you need anything." He tells me. "Or I could stay"

"Yes, Steve, stop worrying. I'll just make some beads rings to calm down and not think about that dick, I'm gonna be sooooo fine" I reassure him.

"Fine fine" he chuckles, "you coming tomorrow right?"

"As always" I say. "Night Steve"

"Night honey" he says starting his car.

I walk to my house and get in.

Then I walk to my room, take out some beads and start to make a flower ring.

I love living on my own, I really do. Sometimes I just think it would be nice to enter and shout "mom I'm home!" And hearing her asking about the evening and the game, talk about everything.

Unfortunately my parents died long time ago, I lived with my grandmother, who left me the house when she died about.. 5 years ago.

I shouldn't have lived alone, but I was so scared to leave Hawkins and this place that Hopper pulled some strings and let me stay here on my own since that young age.

Hopper... why do my thoughts lead me to him now... he was like the father I literally never head. We bickered all the time, but I cared about him and he cared about me.

My mind runs to that day at Starcourt.

We were catching our breath after the fight with a possessed Billy, we planned how to end that. Joyce, Murray and Hopper were supposed to get into the Russian base and close the gate to the Upside Down.

Hopper was giving El a motivational speech, I just stood there watching them, feeling a bit envious, I have to admit. They definitely looked like father and daughter. They both tried to let me in, asking me to join them on their Miami Vice nights, but I never accepted... to scared to know what if feels to have a real family, I think.

I remember calling for him before he and the rest went to the base.

"Hop!" I called him.

"Yeah? What is it?" He asks.

"I... I'm sorry.." I stuttered out shaking my head.

"About what?" He replied with a small chuckle.

"I just... do you think... uhm.. I mean.. you and El have any plans for.. for.. Friday night? I heard there's this show, that seems kinda cool... I'd like to check it out.." I timidly said, my eyes focusing on playing with my rings instead of him.

I kept my eyes down, getting more nervous as the seconds went on without an answer from him, so I worked up the courage to look up at him and to find him smiling. A warm, proud smile.

"Only if you buy the snacks" he said before hugging me.

I hugged him back tightly.

That was the last time I saw him...

I shake my head, trying to get rid of those thoughts.

I put away the beads and head to bed.

I definitely need to sleep all these thoughts away.

[roo-bastmoon]

Quickie (but important) thingies

I've got like 15 minutes in between CT scans so of course I'm on my phone checking on Jikook because the crazy obsession is baked into my DNA by now. Y'all caught me.

Good news: Jimin is linked back up on Spotify. Well done, ARMY, for raising the red flag high and helping get this fixed today!! Let's always have Jimin's and BTS' backs!

Interesting news: It seems that folks Shazamed JK's behind the scenes video and the song that came up is called H-Thirteen (I can't check because the hospital won't let me access YouTube links). Can anyone confirm?

Request: I'm totally not trying to gaslight, minimize, or police anyone's fandom experience. But it feels like folks are on a hair's trigger out here these days. I get it, especially when it comes to Jimin. He has suffered so many insults over the years.

But before we assume Jungkook is a thief or plagiarist, before we assume his music video will be raunchy, before we assume the worst of any member, could we just hold out a bit for more information? It is possible all these concept choices for Seven are an homage to Jimin and Face. (I'm going to especially think this is so, if the song in the background is number-coded to Jimin and Jikook.)

It seems to me that Jimin has always been Jungkook's inspiration--perhaps even his muse.

And I'm not saying we have to blindly trust or believe the best in everyone. (I mean, I do, but that's me.)

Honestly? I have no great love of Hybe at the moment. I have too many suspicions around all the things that happened after Jimin's Hot 100 #1. But the people who work there are just people; I'm sure most are good and some are jerks, just like anywhere.

The members are also human beings. And human beings are always works in progress.

So I just would like to ask that if something a tannie is doing seems alarming, we say "Hm, that seems alarming!" rather than scream with our whole chests that a member is actively trying to hurt or sabotage another member. Especially when we've had years and years of evidence that BTS really love and trust each other.

Look, every member has flaws; they will make mistakes--sometimes big ones, as they grow. And we have a right to criticize behaviors we don't like. But I guess because of my past family life, I am personally triggered whenever someone automatically assumes mal-intent without asking any questions or waiting for more info to come to light.

Not saying we have to love everyone, or we can't call a spade a spade. I guess I'm just recommending we give a little grace until we get the whole story. I see folks on the timeline who just love Jimin so much, who fear the worst because of the lack of transparency or explanations. My heart beats with you, but I encourage you to hold on a bit longer. Let's see what Jimin has to say about all this.

It's entirely possible that Jungkook saw the way Jimin's hard work and sexy style was amazing but unappreciated by the company and he decided to pay respect to that with his single because he knows he's got the social capital to insist on it.

It's possible that stylists and marketing teams think these looks are the hot, sexy, edgy trends for this year and went with it.

I suppose it's also technically possible that Jungkook decided to "rip off" Jimin's style... and go all-in on payola for radio (which isn't confirmed yet)... and also lean heavily into a straight-acting macho-man raunchy music video (again, not out yet) -- but until we are very sure of any of that, may I ask that we speculate instead of accuse?

If it turns out anyone did Jimin dirty, I promise you I will grab my torch and pitchfork and be second in line (behind Hobi) to rage. But for our own health as a community, and as individuals combatting our own stressors, could we... could we just hang in there and give ourselves some time to do our due diligence before we assume evil or selfish intentions? That's my request.

(Caveat: of course--your blogs, your rules. You get to say anything you want in your space and I will never police you. If I'm really worried about something you're saying or doing, I'll just ask you about it directly. But I won't shade you, I promise. I'm just gently asking us to withhold judgement until we figure out what actually is going on. I hope that sounds reasonable and not condescending. I truly do value different perspectives and would absolutely love to count every person in the Jikook tag as a friend, even if we wildly disagree on things. So please don't read this post as me trying to be harsh or holier than thou. I'm simply trying to say: let's judge based on what is, not on what appears to be true.)

Ah, time to put more dye in my veins. Got to go. Love to you all!

P.S. Jimin smiling so happily while killing it in TikTok challenges is panacea.

[lizardwizardinablizzard]

A new search for rp friends!

I decided that it's high time I make a blog SPECIFICALLY for writing, since I do so much of it. It seems odd to have my fandom/regular blog or one of my aesthetic or resource blogs have RP searches run through it... and there hasn't been much success for me doing it that way either. I figure, heck, when I get the writing itch and decide to put together a blurb, be it fiction or nonfiction, I can slap it in this bad boy and label it as a sample or something. Aaaand.... I can also post about actual RPs I'm in, post searches.... you know. As you do. So anyways!! I'm Disco, 30, nb, and use they/them. I prefer writing semilit to lit, but am aware that sometimes plot doesn't call for massive amounts of text. I'd rather us move our story along in a way that feels good than get stuck in a loop of mirroring or dialogue just to fill up space. I'm fine with ghosting, so don't worry about that with me. I'll rp pretty much anywhere, but usually it's on discord. I enjoy both fandoms and originals. I'll play any gender/role for the most part, and am open to canons, ocs, you name it. I will only rp with other adults, and depending on the content of the RP, I may restrict to 25+, for my personal comfort. Sorry kiddos- get off my lawn!!!! Generally I write in third person past tense, but I'll experiment with other methods here and there. If you have any questions for me other than the stuff above, feel free to send me a chat! If you wanna vibe check me, chat me and I'll link you to my main account to scroll around- promise I don't bite. :'3 Finally, I'll just kinda slap some of the plots that are currently on my mind and follow it up with the fandoms I'm currently interested in RPing! If you have any group ops that I might be into... lemme see! Let me know if you're interested in discussing- or even just making friends! (plots are next, scroll all the way down for fandoms!)

Plots & Blurbs: monsters. vampires. evil. Light does not always mean good.

A lich desperately tries to remember his past.

A ghost living in a home pc falls in love with the pcs user.

A train hopping crust punk meets a ghost while on the run.

A fallen star is caught and kept.

A faerie and a goblin meet.

Magic or monster schools

Arranged marriages

A princess falsely accused of murder goes on the run.

A prince in disguise has taken on a life of crime. Ah shit we accidentally caused the apocalypse.

Stowaways? On my vessel? Its more likely than u think.

Androids have feelings now and it sucks.

fairy or elf / vampire or other dark creature vampire / human god / mortal demon / angel or other dark/light archetypical pairings dragon / humanoid naval captain / stowaway mob boss / citizen superhero / supervillain serial killer / investigator serial killer / citizen Bounty hunter/outlaw outlaw/sherriff outlaw/outlaw farmhand/outlaw

-An apocalypse/post apocalyptic world where either:- high magic used to exist and power the world & inexplicably ENDED. Hijinx ensue.- there used to be no such thing as magic and now suddenly there is SO GODDAMN MUCH of it. Hijinx ensue.

-A prince or princess flee the castle to make their own mark on the world against their parent's wishes. It turns out that the world is actually a horrifying place, and they probably wouldn't survive if it wasn't for meeting... insert character here.

- There's something dire down in the mines to the east of this old Western town. Folks keep goin' in to investigate, disappearin' for days at a time, then comin' back all different-like with the lights gone from their eyes. What could be happenin' out there, sheriff? (horror/western)

- A high-fantasy world's balance is shattered when the source of magic is destroyed. How will the people of this mystical land navigate a now mundane life, and how can they survive when so many magical devices go defunct and awry? - A no-magic world is suddenly spun into chaos: an apocalyptic event leads to the sudden introduction of magic into a world that had previously never known it. In the post-apocalyptic (and mystically-charged) ashes of a world that once was, how do the survivors compete for resources and control? - A star falls from the sky! They're rare, and it's dangerous to be one. Are you the star, hunted and lost? Or are you someone who finds a star? - A lich (my character) is rumored to live in the castle at the foot of the mountains, only a mile or so from your town. It's said they're a true villain, the worst of the worst... but what is the truth? -Arranged Marriages between physical embodiments of the seasons or planets -A sailor, pirate, or other seafarer keeps noticing the same shape in the waters near their ship. After a terrible storm, the ship wrecks… now, one’s a mermaid, one’s a sailor, and they’re both idiots trying to find their way back home. -Disaster has struck! A grisly assassination attempt leads a bodyguard to quickly usher their liege to safety. Drama ensues! -In a dwindling-magic world, those who cling to the olde magicks and the old way of living struggle against the new capitalist society and its nonmagic technology. In one still-magickal neighborhood where our story takes place, shopkeepers fight against nonmagickal gentrification in an effort to keep their businesses, communities, and traditions alive. - An ancient evil has been kept locked in a gem for thousands of years. This being once nearly brought about the end of the world- and its power, if freed or put in the wrong hands, could cause the same all over again. What a shame that its prison has just been found and sold once again!

Fandoms: Legend of Zelda Super Mario Bros (the whole universe- just all of it lmao) Elder Scrolls Red Dead Redemption Left 4 Dead Game of Thrones Labyrinth Homestuck ATLA/LOK Pokemon Star Wars Danganronpa MCU DC a whole lot more, so feel free to shoot your shot. I'm into video games, card games, board games, both western and eastern animation, movies and shows in general, sci fi, fantasy, etc etc etc. It's worth a try, right?

[shadamyheadcanons]

((In reference to this story, for some reason.))

This...this pisses me off. I don’t *think* you’re trolling, so I’m choosing to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you don’t know how rude you’re being.

(I don’t want anyone else to go and harass this person, either.)

First off: my inbox is temporarily closed for a reason. I was feeling burnt out on answering questions. I worked my ass off for that story. I took AGES writing all 6000+ words of it. I was excited when I got a couple replies for it...only to be met with someone insulting my ship and making ignorant claims about characters’ ages.

The reply section is for sharing your thoughts on that post. It’s not there so you can make off-topic criticisms and accusations. I didn’t put in all that effort for free in my spare time in the hopes that random people would waltz in and insult the entire purpose of this blog. You have your own blog for that. The reply section is NOT an inbox.

Now, the age thing. Short answer: No.

Long answer under the cut, because although it took longer than I expected to get my first instance of Shadamy Age Discourse, I want to have all of this in one place in case I get any more of it.

I don’t know which bootleg wiki that number was pulled from, but there has never been one shred of evidence in canon that refers to Shadow as 18. Not a single one. Whoever told you that is either accidentally spreading misinformation or flat-out lying. Always check the source if you’re pulling something from a wiki.

As a side note: some people are calling Shadow 17 right now because when you google “Shadow the hedgehog age,” you get this...

....but that isn’t Shadow’s age, either. It’s the age of the 2005 game named after him. You can see the ages of some other games and the synopsis of ShTH right underneath. People said he was 15 two years ago because of this. I wish Google would format it differently. It gets worse every year. This is a good example of why telling a legitimately curious person to “just google it” is not always a good idea.

As for canon analysis, traditional numbers do not work for Shadow’s age. The official word is that he is ageless. His timeline goes like this:

1. Created 50 years before the events of SA2 by Gerald Robotnik. Gerald is able to enlist the help of Black Doom by promising he’ll deliver him the seven Chaos Emeralds 50 years in the future.

2. Maria seals him in a stasis pod and sends him to Earth, where he’s released 50 years later by Eggman.

3. Black Doom arrives on schedule and demands the Emeralds.

This means Shadow was alive for less than a year on the ARK, yet he was already perfectly capable of having deep thoughts and carrying on full conversations with Maria, as shown in flashbacks. Whether it’s because he’s the ultimate life form or it’s a side-effect of his Black Arms DNA, his chronological age simply doesn’t operate the same way other Mobians’ do. He wasn’t affected by his time in stasis, either; he behaved as if he’d lost Maria yesterday. If he’d been conscious and aging all that time, his psyche would have been broken beyond repair. It’s an Aang/Captain America kind of situation.

So Shadow isn’t a middle-aged man. He’s not an infant. He’s not 17. And he’s definitely not 18. He is canonically ageless.

I personally care more about mental maturity with regards to this. It’s subjective, of course, but my opinion is that he’s mentally about 15, for these reasons:

- Sonic, who’s supposed to be his equal/foil, is 15. Sonic’s rivals are also consistently very close to him in age: Knuckles is 16, Jet is 14, Silver is 14, Blaze is 14, etc. I don’t think Shadow is presented as more mature than Sonic is, either. They typically have valid but opposing viewpoints on how to deal with problems.

- Shadow is often naive and easily manipulated (Gerald in SA2, Black Doom in ShTH, even Eggman if you count Sonic Boom).

- In his self-titled game, he displays various immature behaviors like having mood swings and constantly peppering his speech with minor curses like “damn” and “hell,” as if he’s a typical 14-year-old trying to sound cool and mature on his first day of high school.

Shadamy is fine. A three-year age difference is perfectly normal for adults. Anyone who actually reads that story you replied to will know it takes place many years after current canon. Just like almost all of my headcanons, it focuses on the potential future they have together. They don’t need a relationship right now.

And you know what’s even more important than all of that? Sega recently removed the ages from the characters’ bios on their website. Every single one. This could mean one of two things:

1. Frontiers takes place after a time skip. Sonic’s voice is noticeably deeper, and Ian Flynn seems to know something we don’t:

[Source]

Maybe all the ages will be retconned. It wouldn’t be the first time. Amy was originally 8. Knuckles was originally 15. Rouge was 17 in Sonic Heroes. I assume Sega then realized their “sexy” femme fatale character was a minor, so they panicked and hastily bumped her up to 18, something that will never not be funny to me.

OR...

2. They could be ditching canon ages altogether, which I wouldn’t be entirely opposed to. Some fans feel it was a mistake to include them in the first place, and when you get right down to it, most of them don’t make sense.

- Sonic had a birthday, but his age didn’t change.

- There are basically no adults. Rouge is only 18, but she’s somehow a secret agent who also runs a casino. You have to be 20 to drink, gamble, and enter a casino in Japan! She has to break the law every time she goes in there!

- Jet’s 14, but he leads the Babylon Rogues even though Wave is apparently 18 and Storm is 19.

- Tails is a homeowner. He is eight. Charmy is a professional detective. He is five. These are hilariously nonsensical.

Soooo...yeah. Shadow’s an ageless enigma in a franchise where exact age doesn’t seem to mean anything. You can personally think of him as being one age or another in terms of vague maturity, but you shouldn’t go around nagging real, hardworking people about made-up numbers.

If you’re actually interested in Shadamy, you can read some of my stuff. Try this cute headcanon. Or this AU. Or this little friendship ficlet.

If you don’t like Shadamy and you’re only here to talk down about the ship and my work, then go literally anywhere else on the internet. Up to you.

[finitefall]

hope you dont take this the wrong way.. but maybe dont get involved when you dont know the people in the post..

Hi, anon. I'm sure plenty of people agree with you: "Catherine, you don't know the people who were first involved, just because you saw the post on your dashboard since two people you follow answered doesn't mean you should too". And in certain circumstances, you would be right. In those circumstances, however, I don't agree with you.

I've read the entire post, and I did hesitate to reblog and add my own answer. Why? Because I got death threats myself both IRL and online. Because I'm suffering from mental illness and as someone who attempted suicide, I asked myself if it would be in my interest to risk having someone telling me to kill myself. It wouldn't be the first time, either. I even considered ignoring your message, anon. Avoid answering to this, because I'm not stupid: that answer isn't gonna make me popular. But... if people want to hate me, they will anyway.

Here's the original post @lady-phasma answered to:

I deserve a dark haired lover with soft eyes and a heart full of love

Nothing, I repeat, nothing in this post mention being white or a BIPOC. Nothing. Having dark hair doesn't mean crap. And what does this woman who thought they were only answering to a post about your tastes got? Insults. Accusations of racism. Death threats. When OP could have just said it wasn't for white people. Those who didn't want to understand that deserved to be blocked, but she didn't get an opportunity to realize she had answered on a post that wasn't for her and her tastes.

Then, someone who's actually a mutual, @la-pheacienne, was accused of using the n word. A black woman said she used the n word twice, when she absolutely never did such a thing. I would have blocked her myself and reblogged the post just to warn people of who she truly was if she had done such a thing. People have to realize how serious that accusation is. You can't just accuse people of being racists like it's a joke.

I'm not from the US. I'm French and have always lived in France, but I learned to check my white privilege very often. I'm not being colorblind like many people saying they're "not racist": you're either racist or antiracist. There's racism here too, hi. We're not the US, thank God, but still.

Have you watched Fruitvale Station, a 2013 movie inspired by the murder of a 22 years-old African-American by a police officer? Or a more popular one, When They See Us, a 2019 miniseries about the arrest and conviction of five young boys? Do you remember Trayvon Martin? George Floyd? Breonna Taylor? All the others I want to name here but I'm not sure how their names are spelled? Those aren't trick questions, it's only leading to this one: would you like their families to see this post? Honestly?

You know why I got involved? Because it was the right thing to do. Because I've never been a quiet witness to those things. I don't care whether or not I know the person who's being insulted and threatened. I've defended someone who used to bully me in school, once. Why? Because it was right at that time, when that person was being threatened. I still don’t have a high opinion of them, but that didn’t mean what was happening right in front of me was all right. If you only say something because it's your friend and you like them, I don't know if you actually believe in anything besides defending your friend.

People have unfollowed me. I'm glad. I don't want people who think what happened was all right to follow me. If people want to send me threats, I have a strong moral support now that I didn't have years ago. What's important for me is to not pretend I didn't see something going against what I believe in. I know people love to look the other way, but I've never done it and I'm not about to start now just because it would make my life easier and because more people would like me.

I've checked that woman's blog and apparently she'll be all right. With someone else, that might not have been the case. You know people do commit suicide because of what they're being told online? It's not just about @lady-phasma. It's not just about one of my mutuals having been accused of being a racist. Perhaps it's about me, in fact. About the fact that I can't imagine seeing this, think "lol it's ridiculous" and go watch TV. Believe me, people have told me to back off enough times in my life for me to realize that this isn't an attractive personality trait, but that's how I am.

[menalez]

idk which ex ur talking about in that "insane things my ex has done" but i relate bcuz i am currently in a relationship with a gendie who has started saying recently that my aversion to male genitalia is incredibly transphobic even though she knows i have been sexually assaulted many times by men (and am and always have been a lesbian lol) (also sorry if this is inappropriate but i feel like i have no one else to confide in.)

im not sure where i talked about her but i can tell from what u said which ex i was talking about lool its my 1st gf and i never rly talked fully about this bc my ex has since transitioned (only socially tho afaik) & continued to be questionable as fuck in various ways and went from friendly w me to shit talking me bc how dare i share my opinions on my blog which she decided to keep regularly checking for years after our break up despite her having a gf and us hardly ever talking (partially bc of me bc frankly in hindsight i was far too forgiving n despite that she demonised me at the end of our relationship n was weird in various moments after we remained friends)

but she was (& is) also a gendie, which is fine bc when we were together she wasnt like irrational about it. she was the one who told me that SRS doesnt work the way i thought it did, like the genitals didnt magically change and there arent like no differences like i thought, instead she said the differences were obvious. but near the end of our relationship she insisted to me that the way to fix her issues was to make our relationship an open relationship, said that my body made her insecure about her own body n she should sleep w people with a similar body to gain confidence in it. prior to that i was not for an open relationship at all but those comments made me feel like saying no would make me selfish and that if thats what she needs to accept herself then fine yanno. then ofc not soon after she starts e-dating this trans woman who is an abusive creep & rapist (like not even exaggerating here. but ofc those accusations were dismissed for a while bc the trans woman called the woman who came out about the abuse a terf n ppl believed that until trans women also began to call this out). i was like um hows dating someone with a diff body than u and even a diff sex going to make u feel better about ur body when thats the entire reason for the open relationship? never rly got a proper answer but whatever i let it be. then that trans woman wanted to be in a throuple with us basically like wanted to get with me and my ex and would openly fantasise about me to my ex. my ex said "oh she wouldnt be into that, shes not into penises" and the trans woman was like omg why.. :( and my ex was like oh shes penis-repulsed etc and the trans woman was like aw how sad i hope she gets help for that!! n my ex agreed. then my ex told me about this n i was like... what the fuck? it took me a bit but after a few days i was like hey this comment really pissed me off wtf do u mean gets help for that.. and my ex was saying that i should seek therapy to stop being penis-repulsed and should see trans women as women and be open to trans women in a romantic & sexual way basically and i was clearly upset by that n i was like. ur telling me to seek conversion therapy. n she was like nooo and i was like what so u mean some kind of exposure therapy against the "phobia" of penises? and she was like yeah just like that! n i said... thats literally a form of conversion therapy that was done in the past to other gay ppl.. exposing gay ppl to the opposite sex's genitals to try to change their feelings towards it is literally a conversion therapy tactic.

anyways my ex n i ultimately broke up bc it turned out the open relationship was meant to be one-sided somehow and her doing things was ok but if i did things it made me a cheater somehow and my comfort was repeatedly disregarded, i didnt like that trans woman at all at that point n my ex would still keep dating them n it was just all too many bad things at once so i was like fuck it im done w this. ultimately my ex realised that this trans woman is indeed an abuser and i also realised the my 2nd gf who i got with soon after i broke up w my ex is also an abuser. but then when my ex began to transition she started to show more of that homophobia she showed during our relationship like saying the f-slur (calling ppl that) and saying its ok bc "im a bisexual man" which was just.........erm... anyways in the end our last form of communication was her getting her friends to gang up on me for ~ruining the fun~ of a game of among us and then she talked shit about me to one of my close friends (been friends for 14 years) who she never even met and was like ~omg shes so problematic im sorry i just cant handle it anymore~ ......

anyways i feel u lmao. its not inappropriate dont worry and im sorry u went thru that too bc its painful to love someone as they are and yet they basically tell u that ur lesbianism means something is wrong w u bc ur truly not into males at all. honestly i think its best for u to end it asap instead of making the mistake i did, nothing good came out of it for me and i shouldve left for good at the first red flag which was my ex's compulsive lying about serious issues like rape & fgm, or immediately ended it when she was saying that i should go thru conversion therapy otherwise im transphobic

[erin-bo-berin]

One thing that I can't seem to wrap my head around is why did Joe answer that question about Thelma during the AMA. Like... He didn't have to answer that, you know what I'm saying? He could've just ignored the question but he said he HAS a dog. This was mid September. We know they were already over. Idk why people, especially on Twitter and TikTok keep saying that they broke up in Nov. That's why they are also accusing M of cheating because they don't know the whole thing and think that she was hooking up with G-Eazy while still with Joe. Which is not true. Honestly, I never cared for her but people need to get their facts checked and not be so mean to her and make up stories left and right. Can you imagine accusing someone that's already going through so much of cheating? With absolutely no proof. That's disgusting, whether it's about one person or the other. I've been thinking Joe has been so busy with work that maybe that was a good distraction for him but we cannot accuse her of things just because she's been partying and surrounding herself with friends... Maybe that's her way to cope, you know. I'm sure she wasn't happy with how things ended either. Oh, just to be clear, I'm not talking about you or the people interacting with your blog! I'm talking about people on the internet in general... I've read so many awful things lately

No I agree! So many people are blatantly hating on her and that makes me sad because even if you don’t like her, be better than that. I mean I’m pretty neutral about her in general but I wouldn’t say such awful things to her or about when I don’t have all the facts. Like we have no idea if there was actually any cheating or not, but I still just assume it was mutual, even if it was more on the non amicable side (I’m sorry I cannot for the life of me think of the word I’m trying to say other than non amicable 🙄)

But yeah I always thought that was weird, but at the same time I know it was asking if he had a dog because of that line in Gloom. I wonder even if he doesn’t get to see her much anymore if he still considers her his dog too. Still I feel bad for him 😭

[onewomancitadel]

Inbox part deux, kind of an FAQ

I split this up because otherwise it felt too long and whizzing from 'I am insane' straight to 'anyway, details!' was a bit tonally weird.

For the nice people in my inbox I'm very sorry but I need someone to physically help me IRL check my inbox so that will be a bit but I hope you understand.

For the questions of a frequently common nature to the likes of 'Knightfall is bad and problematic' know that the refrain is not overly original and whilst something is always new for someone somewhere, I'm not that understanding on this front with the usual accusation it's accompanied by. You can find many of my refutations of this approach across my blog from everything under my Knightfall tag, to my Knightfall masterpost, to my posts about narrative cynicism, to my posts about redemption arcs and Cinder's redemption, etc. Then again I'm not wholly sure how many people treat the inbox as a learning experience/genuine question time versus a lack of self-awareness. I try to give the benefit of the doubt. I know that I would want that myself.

For that matter I think the only thing I care about when it comes to 'problematic Knightfall' is from the perspective of whether the storytellers would go there or not, not the actual moral content.

For those new to my blog you'll find that in the pinned post I have tags, but you may come across ones such as Cinder and Rhodopis (which doesn't encompass the full series unfortunately, but might be under the Knightfall tag or Cinder's character tag) or the Indecisive Queen which are more specific Knightfall themes.

My thoughts may have previously evolved and that's why I am often happy to repeat topics but I have covered quite a bit.

It's probably likely that as my perspective has become more holistic, I'd be more dismissive of finer-grain details that I might have focussed on, so more recent writings are more likely to align with my perspective (e.g. a recent post about what I feel to be the most convincing element of Knightfall from a technical perspective, not merely an emotional one. In my opinion there is a profound emotional argument there which might be more compelling to others).

But I think that most of my attitude towards R/WBY can be found under my Reverse Ozlem tag and many of my writings about the Maiden powers and thematic keys to the series are under Cinder's redemption tag. I think the narrative of R/WBY is actually very straightforward, they basically tell you what needs to happen (Cinder even tells you that they are telling you what is happening but it's how it happens that matters, in V3, lol).

On that note you'll notice that my V9 speculation is not really rooted in specific narrative 'events'; that type of speculation, to me, is really only possible through what seems like thematic or technical urgency... e.g. I think Neo may be forgiven or the idea of forgiveness will be explored with her and Ruby but what that looks like remains to be seen (and Neo and Ruby have been repeatedly connected, I have no idea why Jaune is really introduced much here; I'm not dismissing it entirely because of the Jaune-Ruby connection but it's not foreshadowing a Jaune/Neo romance lol). When it comes to katabasis (death and abyss, descent) of the monomyth the place they've gone is not an actual underworld but it is a special world so we will see analogous exploration of that, with different implications for the worldbuilding (it's not an actual underworld/afterlife). A lot of people have pointed out the special world similarities in children's works (Neverland, Wonderland, so on) but all of these can be explained through a monomythic lense, so whilst we might see literal similarities and references it is mechanically explaining by the narrative structure... and it's going to go according to R/WBY's terms. It's not going to be following their playbook by necessity.

You can see that it's mostly this idea which I explore in my speculation tag. There are definitely points where I went more specific than I needed to (e.g. how they'll play the Penny angle) but in my opinion I think I also explored that there were so many possibilities there you can't really say one way or another other than it does conspicuously connect to the Summer problem emerging (and potential return of Raven). So again thematic/technical connections.

So I like to think it's more grounded but to some it might be more dissatisfying. But when I see fandom run with the idea of a ball or shopping episode or Penny joining the main cast and being best friends forever, that's where speculation not predicated on something structurally substantial goes awry.

I hope that helps cover some questions that I may have missed in my inbox. I'm always writing a lot because it's easy to talk to myself and I'm sorry I've taken so much time away from my inbox when I do enjoy it. In retrospect perhaps I should've turned it off, and in future if I get like this again I'll do so for the interim.

Anyway, have a nice weekend if you're reading this.

[papermint-at-your-service]

heyyy uhh im not familiar with this blog at all but I figured you should know that @nkirukaj is a pedophile. She's interacting with a child on her 18+ blog and has literally admitted to having a personal connection to them 💀

OOC: Hey so some serious questions.

Before sending this to everyone you could, did you know that the person @nkirukaj was talking to was actually an adult that was at the time age regressed not a minor?

If so, do you know what age regression actually means and why it happens?

Also did you know that the relationship between them as in the adult and at the time age regressed adult is that of a caregiver and care receiver? Not something sexual or nefarious.

Do you also fully understand that sending this kind of thing to a bunch of accounts leads to people getting death threats and others telling them to off themselves? Even when said accusations are false like here and some people jump the gun instead of actually looking into the situation and asking questions.

I'd highly suggest making sure you are fully informed of things before running like wildfire to spread false accusations. Even if you believed that they were true at the time, questioning and double checking would have gone a long way and that goes the same for anyone either getting messages like this or seeing things they assume are one thing when they could be something else.

Always check. Always make sure you have as much information about the situation as possible to make a clear decision on what to do next. So that you can be in your own decision with conviction.

All in all if you or anyone reading this, is unsure about what age regression means and why it happens and how to support people that go through it feel free to ask for clarification. I'm not going to judge people for unwilling ignorance, you can't know something you've never had explained to you. That being said if you have absolutely no interest in learning about it what so ever that's also fine, however do not then spread false accusations and misinformation.

Thanks to anyone that actually read my long ass post. Hope you all have a pleasant day.

[proship-angel]

idk only making this post here bc i don't want it on my main blog out of kind of fear? that people might get angry at me for it

but the body positivity tag on tumblr always makes me feel so sick towards myself because of how often i see them push away positivity for any body type outside of fat/plus-sized people

warning for body image issues, eating disorder talk, and body shaming ig? i think those would be the warnings and i'll tag them too

the constant statement of thin privilege in the body positivity tag makes me feel like my experience isn't real and leads to me spiraling on

'am i fully misremembering the only clear years of my life?' or 'have i been taking this wrong?' which i literally should not be questioning some of the clearest memories that spurred on my disordered eating and severe body image issues.

i am tiny in so many ways; height, weight, everything. i am a small person and i've always been self conscious about that because it makes people think i'm a teenager when i'm an adult. i work a job. i can legally drink. i have to start doing taxes. hell i went to college for a year. yet people see me as a sixteen year old based on my appearance and behaviors (i'm audhd so that adds on a whole nother layer)

but despite that self-conscious nature, i get told by my mother constantly that i am going to get fat like it's a purely negative thing. that i am going to become overweight. she constantly comments on my eating habits and it is never that i seem like i'm eating well. it is either "oh you've been eating so little, are you okay?" so i start to eat more in hopes she'll stop. but than she'll go "if you keep eating so much, you'll get fat".

for more clarification on the eating thing. i have a really high metabolism, i always have. i've always had to eat a lot to actually feel satisfied or to keep myself functioning. as i currently have to eat a certain amount within certain time frames or i full on faint from a lack of food. way easier than most people based on what i've heard. so i have to eat a lot yet i'm shamed for it.

the biggest thing was, when i was in middle school (specifically thirteen to fourteen years old) my mother used to have to check me for things. not going into that but i think it's easy to tell what it was. and she saw my stretch marks on my inner thighs near my crotch. my mother has stretch marks herself, she knows what they look like. yet upon seeing my stretch marks she accused me of self-harm and basically implied that i had no reason to have stretch marks. i physically get sick seeing them because i still feel like they are my fault.

i just wonder, am i overreacting? or do i have a genuine right to feel upset that i can't find body positivity to help myself? is there a different tag for what i'm experiencing? (i refuse to touch any eating disorder tags simply because of bad experiences with them)

[adultswim2021]

Frisky Dingo #18: “The Miracle” | September 24, 2007 - 12:00AM | S02E05

The previous episode of Frisky Dingo showed Val popping up out of a duckblind and shooting Xander and Killface at point-blank range. Turns out she missed somehow. Val, outnumbered with two hunting rifles trained on her vitals,  would appear to be at the wrong end of some turned tables. But! Suddenly she takes off with Xtacle-grade armored rocket pants. We are also treated to a brief clip of Simon selling her said pants, which I think might be a dangling plot thread from season one? I don’t feel like checking to make sure. 

This “miracle” (as Killface sees it) causes Kilface to go full-on godmode and become a believer in the Bible. This causes him to go on a media tour where he continually puts his talon in his mouth; going against all the values of the godless Democratic party. He decrees that global warming, the single issue he was previously running on, is a hoax, and also that being gay is a disgusting sin. Did I mention that the guy who voices Stormy on Sealab shows up on these pundit shows? He’s essentially playing himself, being an actual political pundit. I forget if I mentioned this, and even though it would require even less effort to find this out (scrolling down on this blog) than the other thing I said I didn’t feel like researching, I simply don’t feel like doing it. I am SO, so sorry. 

Anyway, turns out Killface’s son Simon is gay, and there’s a lotta talk about soy and Fred Dryer being a factor. Xander’s sexuality is also brought into question for being equally infatuated by Fred Dryer as Simon is. Xander was also in a gay porn film, if you’ll recall episode 2 of this season. These are the reasons Stan cites for Xander’s campaign not to pounce on the matter. Killface grapples with his newfound religion but ultimately demonstrates that he loves his son no matter what, which is nice. Frisky Dingo! Not as homophobic as it could be! Suddenly a rocket gets launched into Killface from behind in what appears to be a more successful assassination attempt. It seems to explode and, one would think, kill him right before the show ends.

I guess the show is showing a little improvement episode-to-episode, which roughly is how I remember this season being. The stories make sense, move briskly, and there are applaudable attempts at comedy. And– hey! Did I mention that the voice of Killface’s campaign manager is Martha Crenshaw, aka American Mom from The Brak Show? I just noticed that in the credits. I really should pay closer attention to stuff like that, huh?

MAIL BAG

You always say you didn't laugh, but the real question is... Did you smile, did you feel joy, did you feel the sand between your toes. Did the adult alternative comedy make you... LOVE???

No the adult alternative comedy cartoon show did not make me love.

you seem to be warming up to robot chicken

Oh, I don’t know. Maybe a little bit. I largely despise it, but in the interest of fairness I think it’s prudent to point out when there’s stuff on it that I appreciate or like. I don’t wanna be accused of frontin’. You know? I don’t front.

[blindbeta]

Trope Discussion: Blind Characters Covering Their Eyes

The majority of the projects I am asked to beta include blind characters who cover their eyes. Modern characters wear sunglasses. Other characters wear blindfolds for older settings. The story usually justifies the decision in some way, but I always ask: why?

I also neglected to include this in my post on Things I Want to See More of / Less of in Blind Characters. I don’t think I considered it at the time. However, unlike my post on blind seers, I think this trope actually causes some harm in subtle ways and I usually encourage avoiding it. I’ll discuss why in this post.

What’s Wrong With Blind Characters Covering Their Eyes?

Keep in mind that blind characters are not so common. Because they aren’t very common and because not everyone in your audience knows a blind person in real life, the way the character is represented could lead audiences to believe that is how blind people are. This, coupled with a general lack of information given in everyday life, allows writers or artists to unintentionally influence how real life blind people are perceived.

Sure, blind people create blind characters as well. However, we don’t usually get as much exposure or opportunities. We could be held back by other barriers, such as poverty. This means it can be hard to counteract tropes we don’t like or that activity harm us.

Blind characters covering their eyes is potentially harmful for a few reasons.

One reason is that it is assumed that all blind people always cover their eyes. This means that in real life, blind people are not as easily recognized even when they have a cane. The white cane is supposed to be what alerts others that a person is blind. Instead, people get confused about why a blind person isn’t wearing sunglasses if they’re blind. This leads to unnecessary explanations, lost time, refusal to help, and sometimes hostility. Wearing sunglasses helps some blind people communicate blindness more easily. They may feel forced to adopt the stereotype.

Another reason is that it unknowingly touches on the pressure some blind people face to cover their eyes. This could be because they are self-conscious about them or because of pressure to make other people feel more comfortable. This pressure could originate from the way their eyes look or move, or even due to lack of eye contact. Sometimes, stories present these ideas as normal for blind people, which increases the idea that blind people should be ashamed of their eyes or that they should prioritize the comfort of others for something superficial.

Where Did the Stereotype Come From?

While I am not sure about the exact origins, the stereotype probably comes from a few sources: shorthand symbolism and abled actors playing blind characters.

-Shorthand symbolism could be used in art or plays to indicate a character’s blindness.

-Because films and shows are so popular and more easily consumed, audiences are more often exposed to blind people on the screen. Actors who aren’t blind often wear sunglasses to make them appear blind to audiences who would perceive eye movements as breaking character. The actors in live-action material often wear sunglasses to hide their eyes. Why blind actors aren’t hired initially is another story.

This page discusses the sunglasses trope in films.

-Some blind people who wear sunglasses for any reason may also simply be more recognizable as a blind person as opposed to blind people who don’t wear sunglasses. This means others may not be aware that blind who don’t wear dark sunglasses exist.

The Sunglasses Stereotype

I should mention here that blind people are simultaneously expected to wear sunglasses as a signifier of blindness while also accused of faking for wearing them. The rationale is the idea that blind people can’t see the sun and therefore would never need sunglasses. This, of course, depends on the stereotypes that all blind people are totally blind, which is not true. Most sources I have found over my time writing this blog state that less than 10 to 15% of blind people are totally blind, which means about 85 to 90% of blind people have light perception or some residual vision.

When Should Our Characters Wear Sunglasses or a Blindfold?

Many writers have characters cover their eyes because it feels right. Some assume the character would feel uncomfortable with the way their eyes look and that they prefer to hide them. In order to write this trope well, you must understand your reason behind it.

Let’s examine why blind people wear sunglasses in real life. This page is a good one to read and was very helpful in constructing this post.

Light sensitivity, or photophobia, occurs when people have sensitivity to light, usually sunlight. Blind people can also expirience this.

Sunglasses are used to shield their eyes from the sun when outdoors and from big windows when indoors. Some sources state synthetic lighting is not usually an issue and others state some people may want to wear their sunglasses indoors.

For characters who aren’t modern, the equivalent of sunglasses would probably be a blindfold or eye patch.

Blind people like fashion just as the next person. They might enjoy wearing sunglasses occasionally. However, they don’t wear them all the time.

Blind people might also want to protect their eyes from dust or injury, whether they can see or not. This can be accomplished with sunglasses or regular glasses.

How Do We Write Blind Characters Covering Their Eyes Respectfully?

This is one of those tropes I prefer people avoid. I say “avoid” because I want to come across it less which means way less people need to use it.

Think about why you want your blind character to cover their eyes.

Is it because it simply feels right to you? Is it because you believe it will help audiences understand or accept that your character is blind? Is it because you can’t imagine your character any other way? Is it because your feel deep down that your character’s eyes would make other characters uncomfortable?

Think about where this idea comes from and whether you really want to use it.

If you have decided it makes sense for your character to cover their eyes, here are some tips for you to do it well.

1. If they use sunglasses for fashion, have the blind character go without the accessory periodically throughout the story. Consider avoiding them covering their eyes when they are first introduced, as first impressions can be memorable. Your blind character should not be the only one who happens to wear sunglasses as part of their style.

2. If they are sensitive to light, do research on photophobia. Consider where the character is when covering their eyes. Do they mostly wear sunglasses outside and near big windows? Do screens bother them? Make it clear in the story.

3. I always suggest having more than one blind character in a story. This is important for moments such as this. Having a blind character who doesn’t cover their eyes shows that not all blind people cover their eyes. This, in addition to a writer understanding exactly why their character covers their eyes, will help immensely.

This trope is a problem when no reference to the alternative is made, usually because the writer doesn’t understand what they’re writing about. They haven’t considered the reasons blind people cover their eyes and therefore aren’t aware that not all blind people do so. Having more than one blind character in the story shows more than one experience, including covering or not covering eyes. Showing different experiences eliminates the idea that blind people “just do” certain things. It makes people think.

If you want audiences to think, you first need to ask: why?

When writing marginalized characters, remember that their marginalization decreases the amount of accurate information available about them. Audiences don’t have as many resources to check. They may even lack the inclination to do so at all. This could be because of a desire to maintain biases or simply because they don’t consider blind people much outside of entertainment or pity. Surprisingly, some people are even actively resistant or hostile to the idea of taking time to learn about the experiences of blind people.

This means your story could be more impactful than you realize.

When you’re writing, ask yourself the question: why? You might realize that it makes for a richer, more informed story.

[ms-demeanor]

I believe in a lot of things but because I’m not gung-ho about murder and the destruction of the system, you’ll always say I don’t believe strongly enough. I know there’s nothing I can do to get you to respect me, I just want an answer to the question: where are these new, lefty voters going to come from, and why is “preventing total collapse into fascism” not a good enough reason for them to vote? To do this really minor thing? Why do you all default to guillotines?

And, like, as far as I can tell, your position is that I should die, everyone I love should die, all the fucking poor and queer and black people who live in this red state hellhole should die, so that you can build the beautiful anarchist future in our ashes and maybe call us “martyrs.” It’s cold fucking comfort. We have no chance of winning a fight and you want to force us into a fight because you “believe in something” and are therefore morally right, I guess.

"As far as I can tell, your position is that I should die, everyone I love should die, all the fucking poor and queer and black people who live in this red state hellhole should die, so that you can build the beautiful anarchist future in our ashes and maybe call us “martyrs.”

If that's what you can tell about my political positions then I don't have to respond to anything you're saying because I am *very* vocal about my positions and they are mostly "form parallel structures" and "join unions." (I will respond anyway because I'm a contentious fuck)

@politicalmissdemeanor and @how-to-do-activism are were I store my politics reblogs. You can go check them out. On both of those you will find several reblogs of the essay "against the logic of the guillotine," which I reblog frequently because my OTHER big political stance is prison abolition and prison abolition doesn't exactly sit comfortably alongside the idea of *any* executions; suggesting that I - or most anarchists - default to guillotines suggests that you're not familiar with many anarchists. It is, of course, not your responsibility to be familiar with many anarchists, but if you're going to accuse me of wanting you dead and a utopia built on your ashes then it IS your responsibility to be familiar with *me.*

Also I think that everyone should be clear, when I talk about "fully automated luxury gay space communism" that is a tongue-in-cheek way of discussing a post-scarcity world. I don't think we're actually going to *get* fully automated luxury gay space communism, but I also think that scarcity in the modern era is largely constructed and political, and that is something that should be addressed.

I mention that because utopianism is controversial among anarchists and if you see me talking about "in the future anarchist utopia" you should read that in the same tone that I am using in discussions about "fully automated luxury gay space communism." I don't think we're going to *get* a future anarchist utopia (and I actually think the idea of utopias specifically is harmful) however I do believe a better world is possible and that people should work toward that.

But what it sounds like is you've looked through my blog for the past week only and see me talking about the democratic party attempting to retain white, educated suburban voters instead of reaching out voters on the left or attempting to retain them and have extrapolated my entire political philosophy from a single paragraph and a link to an AP story.

So, point by point:

I believe in a lot of things but because I’m not gung-ho about murder and the destruction of the system, you’ll always say I don’t believe strongly enough.

Then you should probably base your arguments on why you support the system and think it works instead of building an argument out of "well it's better than what republicans want." I clearly exist within this system and I have posts about how it could be improved (postal banking, automatic voter registration, ranked preference voting, universal ID) even though I don't particularly want to perpetuate it.

You don't act like you actually believe what you're saying, you act like you're clinging to it out of desperation. You are not positively arguing for your system, you are holding it up as a shield against something worse. I'd recommend taking some time to sit down and think about what you consider the merits of this system are. "Checks and balances" are one of the things that people seem to like about the American political system; I will agree that it's good that presidents are not kings and can't just will law into existence (it's part of why I'm so critical about the use of executive orders!), and that a legislative system doesn't have to be terrible. However my criticism, as an anarchist, is that these checks and balances don't actually seem to be checking or balancing anything and that presidents *as a concept* are bad and there are probably ways to make this system more democratic while still protecting people from the tyranny of the majority so perhaps if you want to keep the system going you should investigate what ability you have, as a supporter of the system, to change those things. (the thing is, you don't actually have the ability to change those things and it's part of why I don't think the system works).

I know there’s nothing I can do to get you to respect me,

Friend. Buddy. Pal. I think that all humans are inherently worthy of respect. What I am never going to *agree with* is your political system.

I just want an answer to the question: where are these new, lefty voters going to come from, and why is “preventing total collapse into fascism” not a good enough reason for them to vote? To do this really minor thing?

I'm not sure if you're aware of this but, as time passes children stop being children and eventually gain rights as individuals, including the right to vote.

And actually, I am arguing that leftists and young voters already ARE voting for you, but they're doing so because - as you have stated - the other choice is fascism.

But "vote to prevent fascism" is not a party platform and it is a concession to let the fascists control the conversation. It enables the ratchet effect. Republicans get into power and drag politics further right and then Democrats run against them on the bare promise to "hold the line." Progressive candidates within the party rarely get support from the party because of the need to keep the centrist voters, to "heal the soul of America," and when progressive democrats DO get elected they are often blamed for falling approval ratings or low voter turnout or people switching parties.

I have been explicit about the fact that I voted for democrats; that was the harm reductionist stance in 2020, right? "Hold your nose, vote like hell, then hold their feet to the fire." You see why this doesn't actually work, right? Because I can't hold their feet to the fire. Because all I can say is "support policies I believe in or you'll lose my vote" but they don't have to worry about losing my vote because my alternative is to vote for the lesser evil or "not voting is a vote for republicans." So either I was going to vote for them anyway or I wasn't going to vote at all, so they don't have to give a shit about my vote, which is why many anarchists see voting at all as harmful.

You are saying "not-fascism is good enough, I have to accept what I'm given and be grateful that it isn't worse" and honestly take a look at what you're saying. That's slop. That's dreck. They are feeding you garbage and that should be more radicalizing than it has been. You deserve better than that. EVERYONE deserves better than that.

Anyway yeah the new voters are going to be young people. Young people have historically participated in elections at a lower rate than the rest of the population and your job as a supporter of electoralism is to convince them that voting for democrats will do more than not voting. That's kind of a hard sell when the democratic party pitch since at least 2017 has been "stop the fascist creep in America" but fascism has kept right on creeping (which I don't think is the democrats' fault, per se, just that they don't actually have the power to do anything to stop it so it's a bad pledge to campaign on).

Well, and also this:

"stop fascism by voting for dems" is also a hard sell when you can't raise the minimum wage but you can increase funding for police.

Here's the thing: you've got your votes. Leftists hold their noses and young people are voting in historically high numbers, and are generally voting for democrats. There you go. You've got the votes. People ARE doing this tiny thing. And democrats are still yelling at leftists and young people to vote harder while courting center votes.

Who are you mad at? Who do *you* think is not voting? How much do you think it's worthwhile to compromise your political goals to get their votes? Clearly the democratic party thinks that centrist suburban white people aren't voting for them and they're willing to compromise enough that "better than the other guy" is a platform.

Why do you all default to guillotines?

I've been over this but I don't think that support for execution is a coherent anti-state position. Again, here is Against the Logic of the Guillotine.

And, like, as far as I can tell, your position is that I should die, everyone I love should die, all the fucking poor and queer and black people who live in this red state hellhole should die, so that you can build the beautiful anarchist future in our ashes and maybe call us “martyrs.”

Did you *look* at any of my political positions? Or did you make up an anarchist to get mad at?

I've gotten yelled at kind of a lot for "well obviously your politics state that my people don't have value and should die" from people who seem to have never interacted with me or my politics. Do you think that all anarchists are anti-civ? Do you think that doctors and factories won't exist in an anarchist system? Have you ever looked at ANY mutual aid projects? Are you not aware of black anarchism? You know what I'm just going to post a quote from that link on anti-civ views because that seems to be the center of a lot of the belief that anarchists want all queer and disabled and marginalized people dead:

Civilisation comes with many, many problems but it is better than the alternative. The challenge for anarchists is in transforming civilisation to a form that is without hierarchy, or imbalances of power or wealth [...] To do this we need modern technology to clean our water, pump away and process our waste and inoculate or cure people of the diseases of high population density. With only 10 million people on the earth you can shit in the woods providing you keep moving on. With 6 billion those who shit in the woods are shitting in the water they and those around them will have to drink.

Of all your off-the wall statements in these asks this is the one that makes it the most clear that you don't know who I am or what my political positions are and are just yelling at a stranger.

anyway, back to your asks:

it’s cold fucking comfort. We have no chance of winning a fight and you want to force us into a fight because you “believe in something” and are therefore morally right, I guess.

I think there's a broad misapprehension that all anarchists are militant insurrectionist anarchists. I think that this is because most anarchists are operating from the belief that the existing system cannot be reformed, which people often interpret to mean "it must therefore be torn down in a brief and violent revolution and replaced only with the system that I say will work best."

I don't believe in reforming the system (though if you've got it and you want to yell about improving people's lives you might as well make it better but that is not what I'm putting my energy toward because even a united states with universal healthcare, postal banking, and constitutionally protected abortion is still a hierarchical power structure that will serve capital and its interests) but I'm also not a fan of violent revolutions (I am not 100% critical of them either; sometimes revolution is self preservation - the world is complicated and it's hard to model history and regional differences on different places in different times).

What I am a fan of is creating local networks of people to do things in their community for themselves, without anyone's permission or approval. I'm a fan of meal shares, I'm a fan of mutual aid, I'm a fan of libraries and free stores and community gardens set up in empty lots that nobody gave you permission to use.

If you want an example of this with something where a real-world need was not being met by a government and individuals took initiative to address it, look at the FIRST Collective in Columbus. Shelters were not providing adequate housing so a group of people have worked together to create a safe, sheltered environment for people who were not being served by the system. Is the solution ideal (where ideal is 'permanent safe housing with no limitations on residents')? No. Is the solution better than what was being provided by the state (limited-stay shelters with restrictions on possessions, pets, couples staying together, and whether residents would be locked in at night)? For the people in that camp, yes. It was a better solution. Does it replace the shelter system? No. Does it suggest an alternative to what is provided by the state, and by its mere existence illustrate that what the state provides is not enough? Yes.

Is this sort of thing possible on a large scale? And possible to improve on a large scale? Yes. Is it possible to do that *tomorrow*? No. Is it possible to *start* tomorrow so that you have a better place to work from in a week or a month or a year? Yes.

I am tired. I am tired, you are tired, we are all tired. My back hurts and I don't get enough sleep and if shipments of certain medications were stopped for three months my spouse would die. Quickly and inescapably. I don't know who you think I am, but I am not somebody who is shouting about guillotines and advocating for the immediate overthrow of society in all its forms.

I think the world is broken and needs to be fixed. Do I think that burning down everything wrong with the world and picking through the cinders to build something better is a good idea? No. I think it is possible to seek revolution without wholesale destruction, and I don't think that you need to tear the world down to ashes in order to rebuild.

I'm not trying to raise a gallows, I'm trying to grow a garden. If you are looking at one of those things and seeing the other, that is a failure of your understanding, not of my philosophy.

Also if anybody wants to donate to the FIRST Collective this is their GoFundMe.

[mysterytickingnoise]

Someday

Pairing: Merlin x Reader

Genre: Bittersweet Angst

Word Count: 2,058

Summary: After getting caught and accused of doing witchcraft, and failing to prove your innocence to Uther, you have to take desperate measures to flea the kingdom. Unfortunately your escape plan works a little too well, and without your knowledge the people close to you end up mourning you.

Request from @joyismycenter : "If you’re asking, I’d love some bbc Merlin x reader where he though the reader was dead but she/they turn out not to be. Love me that happy angst"

Authors Note: Thank you so much for sending in the first request for this blog! Fair warning I'm doing all my writing on my phone at the moment and I couldn't really get the ending to flow how I wanted it to so it's not perfect, but I really hope everyone likes it!

[Image Description: A gif of Merlin (from the BBC Show Merlin played by Colin Morgan) looking over his shoulder. End description]

It was such a silly mistake.

You trusted someone too soon, tried to help them.

Next thing you knew you were being accused of witchcraft. It was true but considering your accuser had no real evidence you thought perhaps you could argue your way out of it. You called them crazy, demanded proof, spouted off any alternative explanation for what had happened to no avail. Uther didn't give a damn about proof, the moment the word magic was held against you it was up to you to prove you hadn't used it.

Even if you hadn't, how do you prove a thing like that?

Pleading your case was useless, and the one person who could help you had left with Arthur and the knights before any of this had begun. Even if they somehow showed up before the execution, you wouldn't want Merlin's help.

He couldn't be caught helping you, not with his destiny. You weren't worth the risk, though he certainly would've argued otherwise if he'd had the chance.

No, you only had one choice left in your small cell. You would have to find an opportunity to use something that you saved for a situation such as this. When an old friend came to visit, to say goodbye, that was your opportunity.

You asked them to come back with the blue vial tucked in the back of your armoire. "It's a poison," You had told them. "I don't want to give Uther the satisfaction."

Tearfully, they obliged. In the middle of the night you chugged it down, and not one hour later your 'body' was wrapped in a sheet and wheeled out of the dungeons 'To be buried in the morning.' But the enchantment on the potion wore off before then, and you woke up alone and free.

You crept out of Camelot at the break of dawn with nothing but the clothes on your back, making it to the treeline before your will broke down and you turned back to look at the old castle peeking out over the tall walls.

Your home was behind those walls, your friends lived there, and the man you had surely fallen for. Tears stung your eyes as you thought about him, the fact you never got to say goodbye, how long it would be until you would see him again.

You could risk waiting for him to return, but if someone outside of Arthur's party were to catch you...you would be forced to do something you'd regret. You'd have to cross the line of no return and goodbye at that point would surely be permanent.

'Someday,' You thought, 'Until then, he'll understand, he might even come find me.'

Little did you know the guard who discovered the empty cloth had no intention of telling the king that the body of a prisoner had gone missing on his watch. No, he had a family to tend to, he wasn't losing his position because of some witch. It didn't even cross his mind that you might not be dead.

There was an empty grave in the pauper's field the next morning, and any questions on your whereabouts were contained in the mind of one underpaid guardsman for two years.

Meanwhile, Merlin had been devastated when he heard the news, even confused. Gaius told him the whole story, what he knew of it anyway, but he could never wrap his mind around it. It didn't make sense. He had spoken to you only a few days before, you smiled and hugged him and told him to come home safe. And just like that you were gone? The irrational fear of someone you tried to help, and the blind tyranny of Uther, that's all it took and now nobody would ever see that smile again. No, it didn't make any sense at all.

He eventually did what he had to do, put on a brave face and got back to work. And yes, a while after that night things got somewhat close to normal again. But there were always moments where he'd think to himself that he'd have to tell you about his day or a joke he heard, and then he'd remember. In other moments, he'd see Uther laughing at dinner or be forced to hear one of his speeches and his jaw would clench just a little tighter than it had before. And when he found himself awake in the middle of the night, when the world was dead silent and the only light in his room came from the moon, it was because he had found himself caught up in the memories you had together.

You had those nights too.

You had been dead on your feet by the time you stumbled into the small, reclusive village you'd learn to call your home. You'd been told that nobody really ever passed through on purpose, and they liked it that way. You told them that you could use a life like that, and then asked if they had need a physician. They did.

Sure, a reclusive person probably would've loved the little life you built for yourself. You had a small but cozy spot to live on the edge of the village, not long after you showed up you began to tend to minor wounds and ailments, making a few friends along the way. Occasionally two farmers would ride into the city to barter off crops for supplies and other things, eventually they began to bring you back a book or a small trinket each time to thank you for your work. It was nice.

But still loneliness tugged at your heart, more than you imagined it would when you took that last look at your home. On the most random days, doing the most random things, you'd find yourself thinking about everyone again and crying for up to an hour before you could pull yourself together again. Those moments became more rare over time, but they never hurt any less. You were never quite back to normal.

Finally, you were wrapping a farmers broken finger, speaking about the state of the kingdom and how you were surprised Uther had felt the need to improve anything it all, when you heard the news.

"Oh, no. The king died months ago, Arthur's in charge now."

You knew you must've gone pale, as the next thing the man said to you was a question of your health. You were quick to respond with a growing smile, "Why didn't you say something earlier?"

He shrugged at you, "I'm not all that concerned with politics. These men, they're all the same to us out here, you know?"

But you knew the difference.

Your life depended on it.

You finished his treatment and sent him away without much else to say on the matter. You had to pack, after all. Later on that day you pleaded with a neighbor to let you borrow her horse, and your friends gathered around as they overheard you say you needed to go to the capitol. You honestly felt a bit bad leaving in such a rush, but after you relayed a safe version of your story, why you came here and why you had to leave, they all seemed to understand.

With many promises from you that they could send for you if they ever needed to, and many words of encouragement from them, you took off. Even when you stopped in the night to allow the horse some rest, you never got any yourself, too excited and nervous and overwhelmed all at once. You spent hours contemplating what to say to everyone, but nothing seemed right.

Another days journey, and you were home.

The response you got to your return wasn't what you expected. Your first stop was to check on the friend who got the potion to you in the first place, and strangely they let out a short shriek before slamming the door in your face. You knocked again, speaking through the door. "It's me...I'm back?"

"Go away!"

You furrowed your brow at them, hurt and confused. But ultimately you walked away, thinking a reaction like that might be deserved considering what you must've put them through that night. As you continued down the street there were a few people who recognized you and proceeded to clear out of your way with gasps and whispers, pulling along anyone they were walking with.

Last time you were here you had been accused of witchcraft, and two decades of fear don't just disappear with a new king, so you simply accepted that as the reasoning and started to make your way up through the lower towns.

On the other end of the city, Merlin had just reached the end of an extremely long day. It had dragged on so long that it felt as though the walk from the armoury to his room took another hour. He didn't even bother to get something to eat, he just wanted to sleep. So naturally when he had just layed down in bed when someone decided to knock on the front door, he didn't know any better than to be annoyed.

At first he thought Gaius would take care of it, then he remembered that he wasn't home.

Maybe they'll just go away.

Whoever it was knocked again and he pulled the pillow over his head.

Please go away.

The front door creaked open and he heard a familiar voice call out. "Hello...Gaius? Merlin?"

He sat up, a heavy feeling settling into his gut as he realized where he had heard that voice before.

But...it couldn't be. Could it?

He shook his head, leaving his bedroom to shoo out the person who couldn't have been you.

But there you were, flipping through an old book that had been sitting on the table since the day before. When you noticed he was standing there you looked up with a sad smile, saying the only thing that you could think of; "Hi..."

"Hi?"

"I uh- I know it's been a long time," You started, crossing your arms over your chest in an awkward stance. "I wish I didn't have to leave like I did but..."

"Leave??" He repeated what you said once more. Finally you registered how strangely he was looking at you, not angry or upset but bewildered, and maybe even scared. What he said next confused you even more. "How are you alive?"

"I thought you might've had more faith in me than that." You joked, but he wasn't amused. "Am I missing something?"

He was hesitant to approach you, unsure of how he was supposed to say it but he tried. "They told me you were gone, that you'd poisoned yourself. I mean...Gaius saw you."

"It was meant to look like that, but it was a trick." You said. "I left when I awoke, they didn't tell people I escaped?"

He shook his head no, tears starting to stream down his face. "...I can't believe this."

As the reality of the situation hit you, you couldn't help but cry as well. All you were guilty about, what you thought you put your loved ones through, it had actually been so much worse. "I am so sorry, if I had any idea I would've- well I don't know what I would've done. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm just, I'm so happy that you're here, and you're okay." Striding over with a grin, he pulled you into his arms. "I've missed you."

"And I, you. More than I could ever put into words." With a laugh you continued. "Things got so boring without you."

"I'm sure they did, you won't believe some of things I have to tell you."

And that was all it took, you both sat down at a table as you filled each other in on everything that had happened in the last two years. It took hours, there were multiple times you had to stop and collect yourselves as certain stories had you laughing until your stomachs ached. Gaius came home and after another tearful welcome back he made you all something to eat and had plenty of his own twists on things that had happened.

As if no time had passed at all, the world felt normal again. You were back where you belonged.

You were home.