#theyve been such a big part of my life for so long

[foolforyoongi]

hello btsluvrs

[coriphallus]

DA: The Veilguard Spoiler review pt1 - Blood Magic

alright let's do this. let's write an in-depth review of veilguard. this will be long and this will be negative and i might eventually say some good things but everything i say will be undermined with a 'BUT'.

its now been around a week since i finished the game and had some time to parse my thoughts and this is why i didnt enjoy the game; NOT why you shouldnt.

so dragon age has a very special place in my heart and i am %100 the kind that has DAO as their favourite game. i have played these games religiously, and let me prefix this by saying i was not hyped for this game, i wont lie and say i wanted bw to succeed or i hoped the game would be good etc etc. if i liked the game, it would be a surprise. alas.

so theres multiple reasons for that, but the canary in the mine for me had been the announcement on blood magic, and yeah i was not shocked after DAI but i was still disappointed. so lets start with blood magic:

Blood Magic

DA lore has changed alot over time, and just like the media it took inspiration from (ASOIAF) i was under the impression that it used unreliable narrators deliberately, just as theyve poked fun at the concept with bethanys tits. it made sense then that the people telling these stories didnt know much about blood magic therefore they couldnt explain it fully but we've known some things for certain, from the text. blood magic uses blood as its source of power instead of lyrium (blood=life force), what constitutes as blood magic is open to interpretation (i.e phylacteries), multiple groups outside of the 'civilised society' such as chasind are not so staunchly against it, knowledge on it can be passed down from a mentor and that mentor usually happens to be a spirit. it can be used to enact control over people in a literal sense and thats considered by the narrative of all DA games to be more reprehensible than burning someone alive.

now i will derail this but i swear im going somewhere with it. i grew up in a country with majority white people, some blond, most with exposed hair who lived in big cities with cobblestone roads and snowy winters and starbuckses, and who would consider themselves westerners. some religious practices i know less about than most christians know about their holidays.

where my grandma lived was at the bottom of a high slope, and once a year when we went to visit her id see a thick trail of blood trickle down from the waterway to pool on her street, and at that dinner the family (and neighbours, sometimes) would bring a myriad of dishes and we'd feast. i would see butchers shops clean their curbs with buckets of water, mopping red tinted liquid down a drain. when i grew older and we were visiting my mothers village i watched the men subdue and kill a cow that we were going to eat that night. i watched them skin it and separate the meat from its bones, explaining what parts of an animal is used for which dishes because it was their craft and a young girl showed interest. as people we always live with the knowledge that our lives depend on death, whether it be a plant or an animal. existence is not moral and clean, and death is messy. getting blood stains out of a fabric once a month is the lived reality of more than half the human population.

i was not raised religious, nobody in my close family were, i didn't feel any sort of way when those men started to pray around the cow but i knew why they did it, even if it was performative for some, for the rest they had to show respect. the cow was meant to represent somebody you cared about, offering it in their stead symbolically. it needed to be respected, it needed to be butchered without pain. save from one serving of meat, as was tradition, were donated to the food banks.

now im sure some of you are thinking 'no matter how you slice it, its still a brutal act. made more brutal by the audience deriving some form of moral superiority' and yes, i used to think that too, because what is a religious practice for them is a show to me. but it is the norm where i grew up, and in the end a cow is dead regardless because we need to eat. and some people who needed to eat more than us got to eat too.

somewhere in germany news break out that some immigrants were practicing unethical and unsanitary butcherings, you see the footage of men in kufi and puffy pants and women covered completely in black sheets get ushered out by police. they shout some things in a foreign language, speaking the name of their foreign god. they show a censored room covered in blood and gore.

so i have to ask now, when you play veilguard and see venatori torturing and exploding a halla into a puff of red smoke which image does it bring to mind, what do you think of when you hear 'ritual sacrifice'? you may not have noticed this parallel but your brain sure did, as it has been noticing for your entire life and counting, the same reason you cringe at the barbarity of people consuming raw flesh, painting their foreheads with blood, killing animals you would pet. its alien, its gross, its wrong.

i cant play this game and take it seriously with its mask yanked off, gloating about its lack of nuance every step of the way. when you hit people red stuff comes out, red stuff bad. killing bad. murder bad. that it extends more sympathy to a fantasy deer than it ever allows for living breathing people of its universe, faceless and primitive.

in other DA games there were people over there somewhere who enslaved others, built their entire civilization on the ruins of gods they cannot comprehend, practiced bloody sacrifices and rituals that doomed the world for their own power, and even in their homeland they are nothing but canon fodder to be murdered and gawked at. their traditions, religion, entire culture is less than a set dressing, because whatever grosses you out are the bad apples, because the good ones cant be anything else and still derive sympathy from the audience.

and its true, you need to be an exceptional writer to make that work, especially if you dont have any real life experience to pull from. you need to stain your hands a little, and be prepared to be called dirty.

but i see it, i see those news reports everywhere i look in the game, i see the streets being cleaned and scrubbed so the tourists wouldnt call them backwards people, unclean, less than.

ive never played a game so repulsed by and is uninterested in its own universe than DAV, in every line of dialogue i can feel it trembling in fear. my companions tell me i dont need to watch a deer getting butchered, i can look away and proceed to electrocute hundreds of masked men some of whom are talking about comically evil things like patricide.

this has always been a point of contention in the medium of video games as the most prominent way to engage with the world has been through violence, and for me the DA franchise has always managed to tackle this by allowing its main character to be messy. yes, hawke cleaves thru countless faceless raiders but theyre also an illegal immigrant trying to get by with nothing to offer to the world than their violence. warden is deliberately recruited for that same violence, the only purpose of their existence is to fight as theyre made to shed everything else from their old life. and still, still you play these characters as they are allowed to grow, heal, carve out a little space for themselves where they can laugh and joke with their peers. it is juxtaposed to that darkness in their lives that makes those moments precious.

'what is good?' the games asked, and they answered 'doesn't matter, the world can be a better place with them in it'

veilguard asks 'what is good?' and answers 'you are.'

it doesnt matter whether blood magic is bad lore-wise (and that discussion is irrelevant to this decision made by the devs), because it needs to be narratively. like tabloid news the entire premise of the story is built on it. it needs to be inaccessible to and shunned by your party and rook because they need to be 'good' and in contrast, your enemies need to be 'bad'

and like dominoes it retroactively reframes the moral stance of every game in the franchise.

so, yes, i just laughed when i saw that announcement. i didnt know what else to do. but hang on to your knickers because it gets so much worse...

[entering--hyperspace]

(Legion) Charr relationships always facinated me in some way, I think despite taking inspiration from real world cultures Charr really crank the Militaristic culture to the max. I think you can play with the cultural inspiration for the charr while also taking in their animalistic nsture to form a sort of mix of the two. It makes sense that legion charr don't have a hand in raising their own children, it makes sense these children then go to form the strongest bonds with their bandmates in hopes of that giving them the motivation of a deep connection to fight better and fight harder.

But the Individual relationships strike me as the most interesting. We know that its uncommon (though not given a specific statistic) that Charr have a life-long partner, and most relationships are casual or with the goal to have children, cement a legacy, and move on. We Also know that Charr value Loyalty above all else, its deeply ingrained into every part of them to be loyal to their legion, their warband, how does this loyalty transfer to personal relationships? For the few charr that decide to form long-term partnerships I say...A Lot.

Since the concept of marriage doesn't really have a stake within the legions, I think that the charr forming long term relationships take these relationships extremely seriously! (Usually, there will always be exceptions.) Loyalty to the person you chose is a hell of a thing, and I can see the reason for these relationships being discouraged is because having a very specific relationship like that can be detrimental if the couple cant shake the loyalty to each other over the loyalty to the Whole. Of course the same could be said for both platonic and Familial relationships, but for the sake of talking about romantic ones, it does come with different connotations.

humans (Generalized/ this is for my essay lets just all go along with it) tend to follow the steady road of Meeting/Friendship-> Dating -> Engaged -> Married

Charr, then, would only have Meeting/friendship -> Mate

I may be silly for thinking this but in the legions I cannot really see there being the same in between stages we have bc there is simply No time for it, but I also wouldn't Necessarily say that charr partnerships jump straight to the equivalent of Marriage, I do think it Does encompass a much deeper bond that over time just evolved to that equivalent.

So Deciding to form that sort of long-term partnership /is/ quite a big deal to the Charr that do.

And, to slightly pivot from this, I do think its fun and probably fitting that Charr are a sex-positive culture espeically if most of their relationships Are Casual. I remember that one dialogue between two charr insinuating theres a sort of unqiue code Charr have to signal preferences which is so fun these guys are freaky thats great.

BUT ANYWAY. Ive just been thinking about this a lot for erm. Obvious reasons. I do think a legion's charr opinions on long-term vs casual relationships would actually be quite a deep insight into their character considering the type of culture they come from or even if they have broken free of that mindset if theyve been seperated from the legions for a while! Anyway!

[cryptidghostgirl]

Hello hi- back to my shenanigans again (the one with the fake dating + lobby portal + frozen half the pentagram surely not an OC ahahah anonymous asker) - anyway- heres some MORE angst.

Reader's past lover- died waaay before reader back in their teens because readers mother found out about their not so heterosexual relationship and decided to shoot them both but only killed one- reader escaping and killing her mom in return (let’s name her Charlotte- with mane wolf features- so wolf+fox+deer features a combination! ) and barely moved on after meeting Alastor like years later, yet still haunted by Charlottes dead eyes reader saw when she woke up from some sleepy poison. Now Charlotte is in heaven and reader in hell alongside their radio-lover lover!

Yet somehow- maybe though a very uncanonical accurate meeting where angels go down to see the new hotel after hearing sinners can get redeemed Charlotte (not to be confused with Charlie) is one of said angels and suddenly all those waves of emotions come rushing back and reader can do nothing but stare.

but oh wait! Angels/Winner dont remember their past life so reader goes to her- and shes just “Oh hello! Whats your name? :3” (shes an angel and loves the stars and plants and everything nice can do no wrong) “I-… I guess you dont know me in this lifetime” (AND DOESNT TELL HER THEYVE MET BEFORE because what good would that bring?)

But alastor is also there lurking in the back. watching them- he knew someone was in readers life before him but reader never said more than that. Will readers feelings for Charlotte come back? Will reader stay to the infatuation of murderous acts that Alastor bought them? Will reader choose the pure love that might not spring again?

The infamous blizzard demon overlord! that never dropped their mask around others that always seemed to have the upper hand in any situation, the cold- charismatic- brutal and ruthless overlord- suddenly speechless at the reappearance of someone they used to know. How will everyone react?! “Sweet as a pea, but sharp as a knife- now shocked like the stars have fallen”

GAAAH MY BRAIN IS TOO BIG ANF FULL OF ANGST!!!!! Heres some kisses too: maybe next fic its me x you pookie 😘😘🥰🥰😘😘😘😘

A/N What a wild way to close off a request, I honestly got so much respect for that. I don't do OCs but for the sign off comment, I'll make an exception. Also I am assuming you want this as a part two to Frostbite because she's still a blizzard demon?? Apologies in advance if I got that wrong. Also,, not you quoting something else I've written in your request. That's crazy, thank you so much for the love.

Day Lilies (Alastor x Blizzard demon!Reader x Angel!OC)

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Part One: Frostbite (Alastor x Reader)

Warnings: Homophobia (from other people and internalized) and murder. Smoking/cigarettes and angst. Always angst. I think that is it, please correct me if I am wrong.

Word Count: 2,969

Master Lists:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List 

Alastor Master List

Click here and leave a comment if you want to be added to any taglists or send me an ask about it.

The best thing about the Hazbin Hotel, according to some, was the fact that not one but two overlords who had found a home there. The Radio Demon and the Frost. Feared, revered, respected, and making an appearance for the first time in seven long years.

Without Alastor and Y/n's help, Charlie would not have been able to achieve all she had and she was eternally grateful to the pair, even if they were a tad confrontational and violent at times. Deeply in love, indebted to one another in a billion and five different ways, Alastor and Y/n had worked hard for their life in the underworld. As the angel stepped gently out of the portal, following her superior, Y/n felt the pressure of that life as it began to crash down around her.

When Charlie had struck the deal with Heaven to have an angel come down to the hotel to track its progress and assess if any of its inhabitants were worthy of redemption, Y/n had thought nothing of it. Sure, it was a bit irritating but if anything, the deal seemed ripe for entertainment and thats really all she and Alastor were after at the end of the day. She had figured the angel would be some low ranking nobody. She had thought it would be amusing, that they would torture the poor creature, that things would stay roughly the same. Never in her wildest dreams had the notion ever crossed Y/n's mind that the angel might be Charlotte.

Of course, Y/n had known Charlotte must be in Heaven. The girl had always been so kind, so good to her very core. It had just all seemed so far away and now, somehow, there she was, peeking timidly out from behind the seraphim's back.

Charlotte looked different, having taken on some animalistic, wolfish features since her death. Sharp ears sprouted from the untamed mess of her hair, fangs peeked their way out from the corners of her lips but Y/n was sure. It was Charlotte. It was all in the eyes.

"Welcome, Sera." Charlie politely began, taking a step forward.

Normally, such a show of self restraint from the young demon princess would have caused curiosity to spark a fire in Y/n's chest. Now, she just stood beside Angel as Charlie had requested, eyes wide and mind reeling.

"Is this who we will be working with?"

Sera looked at the shy wolf of a girl behind her and nodded her head, gesturing for the girl to step forward.

"Yes." she replied, her voice cold and haughty, "This is Charlotte, she has been with us for a while and we trust her judgment on matters such as this."

"Oh how funny!" Charlie brightly exclaimed, "My full name is Charlotte too but, I go by Charlie. Do you have a nickname you'd prefer?"

"Just Charlotte is fine." the angel softly replied and Y/n's breath caught in her throat.

The girls voice was honeysuckle, it was sticky sweet teen love.

"Why her?" Husk asked and Charlie shot him a glare, "She just seems a little..."

Sera laughed lightly, a caring smile sneaking on to her face.

"She's a little shy, but she is smart. Even when she was alive, she had an ability to read people, to see right through to the essence of their beings."

Charlotte blushed slightly at the compliment, turning away.

The southern sun beat down over head, long grass whipping at their legs as Charlotte, running, dragged Y/n to the center of the field.

"Lottie!" Y/n exclaimed, half laughing, "Where on earth are you taking me?"

Charlotte glanced back at her companion, a mischievous smirk painting her lips that sent bolts of red hot fire through to Y/n's fingertips.

"You'll see."

After a few more paces, they came to a panting halt. Charlotte turned to Y/n, placing a hand gently over the other girl's eyes. With a guiding hand, she lead the blinded girl to a spot a little ways off where she had snuck off to earlier and set up a picnic. There was fresh fruit, Georgia peaches from her family's own orchard, and home made lemonade. Slowly, Charlotte gifted Y/n with sight.

Y/n's mouth fell slightly open as she surveyed the scene before her. Sixteen and in love, she turned to Charlotte, taking both the girl's hands in her own.

"When... how..."

"I know things have been rough at home lately. I wanted to do something to make you smile."

"How did you know? I never..." Y/n cleared her throat, "I never said anything... I nev-"

"You didn't have to. I know you, love. You never have to say a word."

Alastor watched his lover silently from the other side of the group. Charlie had insisted they flank the guests, dragging Y/n away from his side just as the portal had opened. She didn't show it, not obviously, but he knew something was wrong. From the second the portal had opened and the angels had stepped through, she had gone tense, her eyes fixed on the one called Charlotte, the tips of her frostbite blackened fingers tapped against one another in wild thought.

"Well," Sera sighed, looking around at the ragtag group of sinners and demons, "I had best be on my way. I will be back in a few days to pick Charlotte up, please be kind to her over the course of her stay."

With those parting words and a reassuring pat on the angel's shoulder, Sera stepped back through the portal which closed behind her.

"Well," Charlie began brightly, clapping her hands together, "let's do introductions! I am Charlie Morningstar and I run the Hazbin Hotel with my girlfriend, Vaggie."

Vaggie sent Charlotte a wave which she timidly returned. With a deep breath, Charlotte stepped towards the line of sinners before her.

"Alastor." Alastor hummed, grabbing Charlottes hand and shaking it harshly, "A pleasure to be meeting you my dear, quite the pleasure."

It struck Charlie as a bit odd he said and did nothing else but, she made no mention of it. In her mind, Alastor was simply on his best behavior as requested. In reality, he was far too focused on the way a slight flurry of snow had begun to settle on Y/n's sharp shoulders.

"Nice to meet you too." Charlotte replied, extracting her hand from his grip and moving down the line.

Y/n's heart pounded wildly against her chest as Charlotte grew closer. Her tail twitched behind her, flicking back and forth gently, and her breaths grew slightly heavy. Although he noticed the odd behavior, it was impossible not to from his place beside her, Angel said nothing. At long last, Charlotte came to a stop before her.

"Disgusting!" Y/n's mother's voice rang out through the yard, "You are both complete and utter disgraces!"

They hadn't meant to be found out. As far as Y/n's mother had known, Y/n and Charlotte were best friends. Charlotte had come over to help Y/n with her chores, they had been doing laundry out in the yard when Charlotte had playfully flicked water towards her beloved. One thing had lead to another and before long, they had been wrapped up in one another, planting a singular, soft kiss on each other's lips. Y/n felt Charlotte's hand tighten around her own, she took a step forward.

"Don't you dare speak to her that way!" Y/n yelled back, anger burning brightly in her eyes and adrenaline shaking her limbs with wild courage, "Don't you dare!"

Her mother scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"She is a bad influence on you! The devil sent to curse me!"

Y/n's mother stepped forward, grabbing Y/n and wrenching her from Charlotte's grip. Charlotte tugged at Y/n's mother's dress as she dragged her girlfriend harshly into the small house.

"Let her go!" Charlotte cried, "Stop it! We weren't doing anything wrong!"

With a harsh slap to her face, Charlotte was sent to the ground. Her mother threw Y/n through the door, the unfinished wood of the floor sending splinters deep into Y/n's knees as she struggled to get to her feet. Her head had hit the corner of the table in her fall, the world was spinning. Y/n's mother grabbed the shot gun from where it lay beside the door. Just as Y/n managed to stumble to her feet, holding her swaying body up with a hand on the table she had hit, her mother stepped outside and slammed the door behind her, locking it.

Y/n rushed over, trying desperately to wrench it open to no avail. The anger had turned to panic as she heard her mother cock the gun.

"What are you doing!" she heard Charlotte yell and Y/n rushed to the window.

From her vantage point, Y/n watched her mother train the gun on Charlotte who had her hands raised and was stumbling backwards.

"Run!" she yelled, banging her fists on the glass, "Lottie, run!"

"Please." Charlotte was pleading, tears wetting her cheeks, "I promise I wont ever come here again, I wont ever come near her again. Please!"

"Lottie!" Y/n yelled again.

With no regard for her own safety, Y/n punched the glass of the window. The pane shattered around her hand, puncturing her soft skin. Blood, hot and wet, ran down her arm as she pulled her hand back to her side.

"Yeah, you sure as hell wont!" Y/n's mother yelled, her voice thick and low with rage, "You'll be dead!"

Y/n flung her leg over the window sill, shards of glass digging into her as she pulled herself through the hole she had created.

"Lottie!" she yelled again, "Run!"

Her screams were drowned out by the sound of a gunshot. Charlotte held her hands to her stomach, blood pouring from between her fingers. Their eyes met.

"Lottie!"

"And you are?" Charlotte asked expectently.

Y/n shook her head slightly, pulling herself from the depths of her memories. Everyone was staring at her, she had no idea how long the angel had been standing before her. She cleared her throat.

Alastor didn't know what was going on but, whatever it was, he knew he didn't like it. Using his shadows, he appeared behind Y/n and placed a protective hand on the top of her head between her horns. Her hair was damp from freshly fallen snow and Charlotte gasped slightly in surprise at his appearance.

"My dear," he grinned, leaning down to Y/n's ear, "you're snowing."

"I..."

Y/n looked up, her cheeks flushing pink and the heart on the tip of her tail puffing up as she realized what he said.

"O-oh." she stuttered, brushing his hand from her head and the snow from her shoulders as she regained control of her powers again, "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."

The other members of the hotel watched in a mixture of shock and confusion. They had always known Y/n to be cold, to be harsh. They had always seen her devotion to the man behind her as infallible. No one had any idea what was going on but, the presence of the angel stopped them all in their tracks.

"It's quite all right, what's your name?" Charlotte asked again, her voice honey sweet.

Y/n took a deep breath, morphing her features into the closest thing to a kind smile she could muster.

"Y/n." she firmly replied, "I'm Y/n."

Her eyes scanned Charlotte's face intently as their hands made contact. She waited for the shock of recognition, for the tears her Lottie had always been so prone to. There was nothing.

"That's a very pretty name." Charlotte replied, "It sounds like it is from the same era as mine."

That raised some small hope in Y/n's chest. She took a step forward, bringing herself closer to the angel.

"Which is?"

"Oh, I don't know." Charlotte replied, her cheeks flushing pink with embarrassment, "Angels don't get to remember their lives on earth unless they are pretty high in the ranks. I've been told I was from Georgia though, that I died in the early 1900s."

Y/n froze, her breath trapped in her chest, a knife buried deep within her heart.

"Oh." she mumbled out in a broken whisper, "I guess you... you don't know me in this lifetime."

"What was that?" Charlotte asked, leaning in a bit.

Y/n shook her head, letting go of Charlotte's hand.

"Nothing. I... I need some fresh air, I think. If you would all excuse me."

It didn't take Alastor long to find Y/n once Charlie had let him return to his duties in favor of showing Charlotte around the hotel. She stood out in back of the hotel, her back pressed firmly against the wall and a cigarette crushed between her fingers. Shakily, she took a drag.

"What was that about?" Alastor asked, leaning up against the wall beside her and folding his arms across his chest.

"What was what about." Y/n cooly replied.

"Y/n, don't play dumb."

"I knew her back when we were alive, thats all."

"Is that all?" Alastor asked after a moment, "You seemed..."

He trailed off. Alastor was angry. He had always been the jealous type, protective to a fault. He could see how shaken up Y/n was however and so, running a finger over the ring he wore, Alastor took a deep breath.

"That angel, Charlotte..." her name lingered poisonously on his tongue, "it seemed there was something a lot more than just you knowing her."

"I picked these for you." Y/n bashfully stated, shoving a bouquet tied with a rough bit of twine towards the pretty girl beside her, "Here."

Tentatively, Charlotte took the bouquet from Y/n's hand. She held it gently, watching the way the breeze played with the petals.

"Georgia asters?" Charlotte hummed thoughtfully, "And yarrow?"

"My momma didn't used to be poor. She grew up in a rich family, gave it up when she married my dad. Her momma taught her floriography." Y/n's words came out in a big rush, they chased after one another in a breathless flurry of nerves, "It was big in the victorian era for fancy people, all about talking through flowers. She taught me asters symbolized wisdom, faith, and valor and that yarrow was for healing and... and love... besides, I know you like them. You're always staring at them when were out."

Charlotte looked over at Y/n who's cheeks were bright red. She smiled, her eyes shining.

"I love you too." she said, nudging Y/n gently with her elbow.

"Yeah, but..." Y/n sighed, running a hand through her messy hair, "I... god, Lottie! I don't just love you like a sister. Its... I understand if you don't wanna talk to me anymore I just couldn't... I couldn't keep it in anymore."

Y/n looked away, tears pressing hotly at the backs of her eyes. Charlotte's eyes went wide.

"I understand... I won't be mad... I just... I'll leave."

Charlotte's hand shot out, grabbing Y/n's wrist as she pushed herself from the fence they were leaning against. Slowly, Y/n turned to face her. Charlotte was blushing now too and looked away, still holding Y/n tightly.

"I don't..." she took a deep breath, "I don't love you like a sister either."

"It's wrong... it's so wrong... what would my mother say... what would your mother say, I-"

Charlotte cut Y/n off, standing on her toes to press a soft kiss to the slightly taller girl's lips. It was clumsy and foreign. Y/n trembled, her eyes fluttered shut.

"I don't care." Charlotte said, "I don't care."

"Yeah." Y/n sighed, taking a final drag from her cigarette before stamping it out beneath her heel, "Yeah."

"Do I have anything to worry about?" Alastor asked and Y/n's eyes met his.

He had known her long enough, he could see the conflict.

"She was my first love, Al." Y/n admitted, "We were girls together."

"You're my wife."

"It's different."

"Do I have anything to worry about?" Alastor asked again and Y/n looked back out at the sky.

"She doesn't remember me."

"But you remember her."

"But I remember her." Y/n confirmed, her voice cracking, "I couldn't forget if I tried. She haunts me, Al. She has always haunted me, since long before I even met you. Lottie died in my arms, Al. My mother killed her, shot her right in the stomach. I...."

Y/n trailed off into silence. It was more about her life before she had met him than she had ever revealed before. Alastor took a deep breath, conflicting emotions battling behind his eyes.

"What are you thinking about?"

He was trying to keep his cool, to save face. He was failing, anger and a secret fear ate away at the edges of his words.

"Day lilies."

"Day lilies?" Alastor repeated and Y/n nodded, meeting his eyes once again.

"A floriography thing again?"

Alastor knew of Y/n's interest in the symbolic properties of plants. It was one of the only things she ever spoke about concerning her mother and her shadowed past before that night in Mimzy's bar.

"Yes."

"What do they mean?" Alastor sighed, resigning himself to his fate because god, if Alastor knew anything he knew his fate was Y/n. She held his heart in the palms of her hands.

"Love for lovers. Love for mothers..."

"And?"

His heart pounded against his chest.

"And loss of memory."

----

TAGS:

the ones in red are ones I am not sure worked/having trouble linking.

@willowshadenox @i-love-jafar @elfyeet @reader3 @lazygirlfanfic0-0@kahlan170@wendyphan01203-blog @fairyv-ice @clarakainda @lunaramune @mcueveryday @luxky-aish @peterpankat @corvid007

[pumpkinsy0]

Okay I can’t explain why but The Curtis Brother’s I do read as white. (But like with every outsiders character I literally love ANY Ethnicity Hc you throw at them.) That being said I think that The Curtis brother’s have been luckier in certain areas as compared to some of the other greasers,especially given the time.But I don’t think they necessarily realize that growing up, but specifically Darrel.

Ponyboy hangs out with Curly a lot so he isn’t aloof to how Curly is treated by others. He picks up on the small micro aggressions and how he often gets off easier than Curly does, especially at school. Same goes when he’s with Johnny and Dally. It’s something he knows is there but doesn’t quite have the words to explain it. Sodapop I think understands that he has it easier because he gets that he fulfills the all American boy look. He notices this when first starting to work at the DX and how the customers react to him versus how they react to Steve. He knows exactly why they do that too. And Sodapop hates that this is the case but gets he can’t exactly change it. So he makes up for it by trying to distract Steve or making him feel better.

For Darrel..he’s not WILLFULLY ignorant it’s just that he’s had a busy life. Even before he took on his role as guardian, he was always busy with football,school, even Soc Parties. Then after his parents died, he got even more busy.I don’t think he’s quite processed what some of the other greasers go through.

I don’t think it fully clicks when he’s with Two-Bit one day. The two decided to go out shopping at the fancy grocery store, since Darry wanted to go big for Pony’s graduation party. Two-Bit is acting like usual and goofing off, in the process of trying to make Darry laugh.At one point though a nearby lady spies Two and automatically mistakes him for the help. Two-Bit being use to this simply smiles and politely tells her that he’s a customer there. Darry finds that weird at first but then things take a turn when one of the employee starts to follow Two-Bit around the store. Darrel is puzzled by all this and asks Two-Bit about it.Two-Bit shrugs and tells him it’s not a big deal because this thing always happens. It’s not until he says that does it click for Darry. When it does he also starts to get why Two-Bit acts the way he does. Why he often smiles and laughs during a tense situation, or why he doesn’t try to fight back during an argument. Because that’s his way of surviving.For Two-Bit this is just an everyday occurrence in his life, and something that he’s learned to accept long ago. It doesn’t change the fact that Darry is mad on his behalf and most definitely goes back to the same store later to chew out said employee.

((In part based off of me and my own siblings personal experience grocery shopping at one of the more ritzier places. And also because Mexican Irish Two-Bit lives in my head rent free…take with this what you will. Also sorry if it’s long…))

nono i get what u mean!!! and dont apologize for sending long ask i am very nosey and must know what ppl think all the time, i love long asks!!!!

and ur so right, i see the curtis’ as white americans, but boy oh boy am i a sucker for my black curtis bros and anons arab curtis or any curtis bros, like i said, multiverse goin on in my head here!!!

but ik what u mean!!! its not like theyre WILLFULLY ignorant, hell i dont even think theyre fully ignorant period, its just, they dont live it and nobody around them rlly talks about it much (to them at least, mostly bc they feel like they wouldnt get it, which tbh, they wouldnt) and of course its the 60s theyve heard of the racial tensions but theres only so much they can do about it in their own lives???? i hope i explained that well and yknow what i mean😭

and yknow what ALLOW ME TO TALK ABOUT (my :3) SHEPARDS A BIT HERE AS WELL☝🏽☝🏽

bc i hc my shepards to be immigrants from a pretty much fully black place, they never rlly had to deal w the racism that was going on in america, so when they moved here and they started getting attached w all these labels, plus that language barrier, it was hard for them to really understand a lot of the things, so for a couple years, the shepard family wasnt really known and were just barely scrapping by

BUT SKIPPING HOW I THINK THE SHEPARD GANG CAME TO B BC I TALKED ABOUT IT ENOUGH BEFORE

as individual ppl, i dont think ALL the shepards r actually respected, only tim is!!but even then before that he wasnt, he couldnt rlly speak english so he was also just tossed to the side at sone point, maybe even laughed at

angela is fetishized and while she can use that to her advantage, at the end of the day, she as a regular human being isnt taken seriously and respected unless she basically demands it

and w curly, part of the reason WHY hes not taken seriously is bc hes not given the light of day bc hes seen as “not smart”, part of the reason why hes seen as not smart and not given the opportunity to prove himself is bc he is black

NOW when it comes to papercut and this issue, like u said, i do think the curtis, just dont exactly grasp it, but the shepards do, mainly angela and tim, they understand that how they look impacts what they can and cant do, and curly understands it too, but to a lesser degree, he just wants to be and doesnt want to care, but he doesnt realize that he cant rlly AFFORD to do that, bc it could mean life or death for him, couple that w pony not getting it as well, and thats where i think part of the weariness about this couple comes from!!! this is also partially y i demand more tim and angela being protective of curly☝🏽🤓

but at some point, i do believe that pony would try to use the privilege he has to try and help curly from getting into some shit

i could probably explain all this WAY better and more in depth and have more ideas but then id b writing an essay so, i wont bc im LAZY, BUT ANON??? this is SO real

i hope i explained everything well lmao im not rereading this

[kindred-spirit-93]

grace siblings x the ithaca saga

hear me out. disclaimer for severe sibling angst ahead so be warned. also! special thanks to and blame on @xixovart for the original idea :')

aight so, unreleased ithaca saga number i cant help bit wonder fits them and both of them extraordinarily well, allow me to demonstate:

All my life, I'd have died to meet you Thought about your name so much it hurts For twenty years I'd dreamt of how I'd greet you Oh, and now you're here I can't find the words

i havent read the books so pls correct me if im wrong, but i dont think the siblings saw much of each other after they were seperated.

thalia: perhaps here jason passes her tree unknowingly and she just feels him. and she thinks to herself all what could have been..

jason: hes heard so much about his older sister only now learning of her death, and it breaks him

--

All my life I'd have died to know you Days and nights I wish that I could show you For twenty years I never could outgrow you Oh, and now you're here

thalia: living on the streets perhaps her thoughts where with her baby brother whom she had to look after for so long, the price of ensuring his well being and growth stunting her own

jason: holding onto the idea of his warrior older sister, trying to live up to the image he has of her in his mind. he stands now helpless infront of her tree, unsure what to do. what to think

--

I can't help but wonder What your world must be If we're like each other If I have your strength in me

jason: now learning of the immense hardship his upbringing had entailed, the years of neglect and abuse followed by running away and not knowing his fate. jason is overwhelmed with what it mustve been like to live years not knowing if she will live to see the next sunrise

I can't help but feel like Sorrow's all I've known And I can't help but realize For so long I've felt alone

thalia: maybe as a tree maybe before that wherever she is or may be, thalia knows her brother didnt have the easiest childhood. he may not be on the streets like she once was but in many ways he had to learn how to fend for himself

both: reflecting on how theyve been doomed from the start. no child of the big three could ever have as we say in arabic مرور الكرام - muroor al kiram (lit. gracious passage) i.e to go unnoticed; they were never going to get the endings they deserved. its the price they were forced to pay for their fathers' mistakes and shortcomings.

-------

this next part is more father son oriented so ill skip the first verse lol

Used to say I'd make the storm clouds cry for you Used to say I'd capture wind and sky for you Held you in my arms prepared to die for you, oh How times has flown

thalia: once again thinking of the child she held in her arms, her baby brother, whom she loved more than anything, but served as a harsh reminder of the reality of their living conditions.

I can only wonder What your world has been Things you've had to suffer And the strength you hold within

jason: need i say more?

All I've ever wanted Was to reunite with my own 20 years we've wandered But today you're not alone

both: in her strange state of being and in his half living state, thalias leaves rustle in the wind, jason reaches to feel the bark under his fingertips. it hardly counts for an embrace, but its all they have

I'm finally home

both: jason cries and the morning dew falls and the skies weep for the siblings that could have had it all but were given nothing and stripped of everything

--

fun fact i originally had just jason be telemachus and thalia ody but decided it works well for both so i split them into two different interpretations sort of?

idk in my minds eye it reads like how in movies 2 people reach out to each other at the same time unkowingly and like hold hands kinda but are sperated by a wall or sum lol.

yeah. them.

[freakinator]

Freakinator freakinator freakinator. I'm shaking you. I'm really interested in your opinion on Wemmbu's video when you're done watching it.

hiii im finally done watching the vid so heres my Honest Review™

im sure a lot of ppl hate the length but i personally dont mind it cause pacing is really important to me (too slow i get bored and antsy, too fast i get bored and overwhelmed) and with the kind of storytelling wemmbu does i think it works pretty well, can it be divided into less intimidating time chunks? yes and honestly he probs should do that ngl lol like theres some downtime moments where cutting it would be acceptable imo and its not like unstable where you risk having the overall story flow break if you cut a vid in half, will i mind if it stays this way tho? not really and i could always come back to it later if i had to stop watching for whatever reason

also the latter half of the vid was more interesting imo cause of the fact that his pov is a lot more unique there which i think wemmbu was aware of considering he put less cuts and narration for the later days vs the earlier ones ---- tho it could have also just been because the more interesting parts of the earlier half are more spaced out and context-dependent compared to the latter

i think most of the seeds for how wemmbu became the menace that he is today were planted After his hiatus so i wasnt surprised at there not being a lot of ✨foreshadowing✨ shown in the video, but the few that Were there were really juicy such as wemmbus zambook-related shenanigans, wemmbu referring to the wemmbu head above the frat house as a parasitic infection seeping into the roof which pangi notes as being like him living rent free in their heads, and wemmbu saying that revenge has consumed him already after zam said not to let it consume him

i said it in one of my liveblogs but i think its fascinating how trusting wemmbu is, like youd expect him not to be considering the kind of person he is and the kinds of things he likes to do but he it seems he just. wholeheartedly believes the other lsers wouldnt make his life miserable if they could which is interesting considering even at that point he was considered as one of the serverwide opps, he also extends that trust onto their skill level ie trusting other ppls decisions before his own and thinking that other ppl are more skilled than they are

i think its interesting how his tussle with the empire was a little less... direct??? for lack of a better word compared to his teammates, like they fought sure but he has yet to have a 1 on 1 problem with any of them with the exception of jepexx who his problem with is just that he combatlogged and even then that conflict was resolved really quickly ---- wait nvm i just remembered the daycare fight lmao, but even then that was less an empires moment and more a loserduo moment tbh, otherwise all his conflict with the empire has been pretty team-based rather than individual-based

im a big fan of how he kept coming across zam considering theyve got basically nothing to do with each other at this point and yet hes still one of the more consistent presences in wemmbus vid which is something of note considering all the other consistent presences in his life are either his teammates or his enemies (mainly mapicc), not even pangi is a consistent presence despite the fact hes also a spawn camper (could just be a timezone thing tho)

im also a big fan of the wemmflower, shoutout wemmbus inclination towards tulips lol. im curious how its doing rn tho, like i doubt any player touched it cause its quite the niche area but at the same time it Is located in an unlit cave full of mobs such as creepers so it getting destroyed is a non-zero chance (hoping it stays safe forever tho)

overall i gotta say im a big fan and also that was p much what i expected out of a wemmbu lifesteal vid lol, granted the fact it was 3 hours long was a lil unexpected but also that explains why it took him like 2-3 months to edit it

[gabessquishytum]

OKAY this one came to me in a drug induced haze. So we all know the first thing that comes to mind when we see Hob. Get that man pregnant. Could be whatever variation human/warprize/fertility god etc au, I believe in my haze I was thinking specifically Dragon shapeshifter au ANYWAY. So Hob has just delivered a wonderful beautiful miracle to them, and they could not be more thrilled. They were definitely the Planning Parents who accounted for Every contingency in the baby's first 5 years of life, they have a Plan. Part of this plan, regrettably, was that they'd wait until Baby was at least 3 before having another. They both agreed it was just the Optimal Decision for their Great Baby Life Plan, so they'd have to put aside how ridiculously wonderful/horny those 9 months were. It won't be that hard, they'll have a whole ass child to love and dote on and take up all their time and energy.

The hitch comes when having a baby does nothing to dampen how absolutely devastatingly lustful they are for eachother. As soon as Hob is healed up he's begging for just one round, please Dream? It's been so long. Dream makes him wait another few days to be sure he's healed before they are right back to fucking like rabbits. Many orgasms to balance the discomfort of generally havinga newborn, interrupted sleep cycles, cramps from whatever position he was in too long for nursing, etc. And soon enough it's only been a few months and Hob is honestly? Feeling kind of shitty. He thought it would be getting EASIER as the baby got older and disnt need to be so much stapled to him and slept for longer periods of time, but he's very tired and kind of cranky and achey. It isn't until he starts throwing up that he realizes what's happened. Of course his first thought is ANOTHER BABY OMG YES BABIES. But then he has a rude awakening. He wasnt Supposed to get pregnant again so soon. This will break their whole big plan into tiny peices. Will Dream be mad? Oh no.

But Hob couldn't keep a secret from Dream on a good day, let alone a bad day when he's tired and hormonal, so he puts the baby down, sits Dream down at the table, and weeps his way through explaining that whatever birth control they used couldn't stand up to their vigorous lovemaking and he's pregnant again. Hob is trying to read Dream's reaction but Dream is doing his absolute best not to WIGGLE with pleasure at the dinner table. Another baby!! He and Hob are gonna have more babies!!! He's also counting back in his mind through the days theyve fucked trying to figure out when this happened and can remember at least twice when he either forgot to pull out or maybe forgot the condom? He's a tired dad okay. He does his best not to break out into ecstatic laughter while he holds and comforts Hob and tells him What Plan? We'll make a new plan, with our wonderful extra baby in mind. They quickly work through whatever angst there was and are back to being the sunshiniest happy family there ever was, now with an absolutely Glowing Hob, bc of course pregnancy looks GREAT on him. They are also fucking at increased rates without any birth control again bc what's gonna happen? He'll get MORE pregnant? When the ultrasound shows twins, Hob makes a joke like "Maybe we SHOULD have slowed down lol" but Dream can only vibrate with smugness. Lookit his perfect man. He put SO many babies in him.

Lying on the floor kicking my legs in the air. I'm always deeply obsessed with pregnant Hob content and I'm just very!!!!! Very horny about them being horny for each other.

Hob loves his baby so much. But it IS hard being a new parent, and he's so incredibly tired! The only consolation is that Dream is wonderful and still extremely attentive to Hob’s needs - particularly in the bedroom! Whenever the baby takes a nap, Dream makes sure that Hob gets at least a little bit of an orgasm. With his mouth, or fingers... or his cock. It makes the pain of parenting just a tiny bit more manageable.

Until Hob starts throwing up, and aching all over, and he's crying a lot all of a sudden. He's barely recovered from the first baby, and he doesn't feel terribly comfortable in his body. He knows that Dream still loves him but the thought that he might well be pregnant again is utterly terrifying. What if Dream is angry! What if he was sick of Hob being pregnant the first time, and what if he doesn't want another baby at all!? Oh dear. Hob holds his baby in his arms and gives them lots of cuddles, and calms himself down a little bit. It seems very important that Dream should at least KNOW that he's going to be a father again!

Of course as you've said, Dream has to try really hard to stop himself from CHEERING when he gets the news. He's wanted another baby ever since the first one came along. He wants everything with Hob, and that includes many many babies. Plans are overrated! Loving Hob and their children is the most important thing.

Twins wasn't part of the plan, but as previously mentioned, plans are overrated!! Hob looks incredible. He carries the new babies strongly and well, and provides plenty of milk for the twins, the first baby... and Dream, who loves relieving Hob’s swollen breast by drinking his milk as often as needed. Dream is a very proud father to his first baby AND the two nestled in Hob’s womb. He's thrilled to place his hands gently on Hob’s belly and the small of his back. In public he practically vibrates whenever they're congratulated on their parenthood. As they relax at home, he holds the baby in his arms and pops another cushion beneath the small of Hob’s back. He's going to give Hob as many babies as he can ever want and he's going to take the best care of him. That’s the only plan he’s concerned with now <3

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

10, 13, 24 for the writer asks, please!

Thank you for the asks! im sorry it took a while to write a response to these!

From these asks

10. What is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

This is not hard to answer, but it is embarassing.

8 years and still going.

I started writing Age of Aquarius Part 2, the second in my "holy god i didnt anticipate how long this would be" post-canon series in.... 2016. it ran right into the Americorps and grad school years of my 20s, when i was working and studying so much that i wrote the least of any other time in my life. and then in that time I rediscovered Star Trek, discovered Trek fandom for the first time, and the sheer amount of engagement i found there really inspired so much fic that i had to follow that impulse. it has been amazing. i have gotten so so so much better as a writer thanks to the range of writing ideas ive been driven and challenged to attempt, and have found such a robust community too. Al that writing experience and experimentarion made the work i have been able to put in on Age of Aquarius (and Sailor Moon H) so so much better.

but Aquarius has languished for it. and my small but amazing community of Sailor Moon friends is the only reason ive kept writing it - for them, because theyve been with me so long through everything and I know how much they love it.

I entered the WIP Big Bang with Aquarius this year. im not sure if i will finish it in time for the end of the challenge but i know what happens in every chapter and slowly but surely im making progress. That is nice to feel 🥰

13. a fandom you’re thinking about writing for

I've never written for Star Trek Strange New Worlds or for RWBY. And I only wrote a little for Madam Secretary. All three have really compelling characters I'd love to sink my teeth into given the right time and the right idea. Especially RWBY if it never gets a new season, I have been yearning to see what happens in Vacuo and after the Wonderland arc and if the canon doesn't continue now that Rooster Teeth has folded, i would feel really motivated to try to imagine an ending for myself

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

Books and Video games. Both ways i can enjoy a story i didnt have to create myself. or doing something physical instead that lets the creative part of my brain rest. I'd also travel more if i could. it's a great way to find new things that inspire you!

[alienaiver]

Who do you ship me with? (Don't automatically pick my favorites, please 😋) You can choose fandoms I don't know yet too.

ill go for some different fandoms !!!!

in bnha im going with......

sato rikido! i think your lovely nature would compliment his as well; and i bet he would do his absolute best to find alternative ways to bake something without sugar or any other ingredients so that you'd be able to ingest snd enjoy his baking!! he would loooove to try and bake tons of things. some of them would end up disappointing for you both, but he loves how you always find anything, even the tiniest thing to compliment; like the crust, or the consistency of the batter!!! he'd love date nights with cuddles and movies about the big questions of life with happy endings but that makes both of you sniffle a little during the sad parts. he'd be very flustered when you met his parents, and even tho its HIS own parents, you'd end up speaking for both of you during the dinner because hes just such a smiley, nervous wreck who nods and stutters !!!

for haikyuu.... that was a tough one solely because of all the lovely options! 👀 but i have to go with fukunaga shouhei !!! 🥺 he'd end up wooeing you with his dry but perfectly delivered jokes and nicely personal pick-up lines. he'd spend a long time making them personalized to impress you! in the beginning theyre a bit hit or miss, sometimes even accidentally insulting. but he ALWAYS makes up for it with a little silly choreographed dance and your favorite drink from the convenience store !!! its very precious and silly, and he completely fell for you when you delivered a witty pun to one of his jokes during a training camp. he was heart eyes for a while in secret (everyone on the team knew) before he decided to give it his shot!!!

im also assigning you a d. gray man husband !!!

this wasnt too hard actually, bcos i think youd make a really adorable pair! im pulling bak chang along, and he'd be a stumbling, stuttering mess introducing himself to you. he doesnt completely trust me that ive told only good things about him to you, because hes a silly goose with various (lazy) morales even tho he has such a high position. tho fret not, when needed he is a good branch chief!!

his dates are a little bit chaotic as he tries to woo you because of the nature of his job, but he never skips on any of the romantic tidbits! theyre just sometimes cut short. after he's successfully (at least he hopes theyve been grand enough to impress you) he spends a lot of time finding you secret hiding spots where he can just. be himself, comfortable and relaxed around you, talking about anything and nothing in particular. hes never had a normal childhood or youth or big experiences outside of the branch, so he enjoys listening to your story from the outside world and what mischief you mightve done as a kid. its a lovely change of pace for the both of you, and you love seeing this relaxed side of him, that he only shows you!!! hes not big on taking care of himself, but he will always make sure youre well fed, well rested and comfortable 🧡 (he even skips work if youre sick to take care of u!!! but he kidnaps you LMAO from the sick ward because otherwise won would find him there and drag him back to work 🤡)

[tianhai03]

Can you stop being such a cunt, tranny. "I have a job and barely any free time anymore. who are you to tell me what to do. go learn some manners before you say anything under my art again" You sell prints, when you didn't pay the artist for the characters or their time, and want to talk, bitch. maybe stop selling other people's characters, and acting like a beggar, constantly giving out your inprnt store. Tell you what, since you value your time so much I value Capcom's time, and am reporting your inprnt account. Shut the fuck up, you stupid, degenerate loser. Your art sucks.

wow, it's my first time being called a slur! isnt that a big accomplishment. thanks for wasting your time coming all the way to here from twitter just to hide behind anon and say vile shit to me. why didnt you just comment on my tweet? you couldve saved a couple of minutes doing that. or is someone too scared to say shit to me directly to my face?

as for the inprnt thing, i never begged anyone to buy my stuff. i literally started selling my prints because people have been asking it for years, and ive stated MULTIPLE TIMES that no one should feel obligated to buy anything from me because its not my main income and its just a side extra thing i do. PEOPLE WANTED PRINTS OF MY ART, THEY ASKED FOR IT FOR LITERAL YEARS, AND IM JUST GIVING THEM WHAT THEY WANT. if youve ever seen me beg people to buy my art please let me know because i sure as fuck dont remember doing it. the only reason why i post my inprnt stuff so often is because the site has sitewide sales often, and if i have a way to let people pay less for my art if they want to im going to give them exactly that.

i know selling stuff with other people's IPs isnt exactly legal, its a big grey area that has no 100% rights or wrongs. but im not actively harming anyone just because i made art of a character and sold it online. the big companies arent losing any money because of me, you can always take the money youre paying for my prints and just buy official merch. i dont care. im going to repeat myself again and tell you that im only selling prints FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT IT AND CAN AFFORD IT. IF YOU DONT WANT IT THEN ITS NOT FOR YOU.

if you think selling fanart is so wrong, think back to all the times youve seen a voice actor for a show or a video game commissioning artists to draw the characters they voice. according to your logic, even though theyve spend their own time and effort on a crucial part of the character, theyre still not allowed to commission stuff of that character because they dont own the rights to them. does that mean youre going to report them too? are you gonna go to capcom and tell them "HEY MR. NICK COMMISSIONED SOMEONE TO DRAW A BUNCH OF RESIDENT EVIL CHARACTERS FOR HIS STREAMS AND HE DIDNT PAY BACK THE ENTIRE RE TEAM FOR THEIR TIME AND EFFORT MAKING THE GAME. THE ONLY THING HE DID IS VOICE LEON YOU GUYS NEED TO STOP HIM"? of course not, you'll look like a fucking idiot. i might not own the characters either, but ive spent my own time and the drawing skills ive developed over the past decade to draw those prints. i own the rights to my drawings and i should be allowed to do anything i want with them as long as im not harming anyone.

clearly you cant stand me or anything i do but youre still following me for some reason. please for the love of god block me right now, leave me alone and live your own life. you'll be happier that way. and also stop being transphobic its literally 2023.

[castlebyersafterdark]

i just had a crazy thought about mike topping will for the first few times... its gonna hurt, and mike would never be comfortable hurting will :( do you think he'll resist doing it at first or request it to be the other way around (i never thought i'd entertain that as im always a mike top truther) and will would have to encourage him he wants to, or tell mike he's experimented a little himself so not to worry?

also these byler scenarios are so strange and fun to think of cos for anyone, even real people, there really is no bridge into being sexual without it feeling a little wild. like, remember the first time you were intimate with someone else, it always has this edge of feeling unreal because it is unlike anything else you do in life and now suddenly someone has a part of their body inside yours? or vice versa lol

like, the way humans just drop into this other mind state of sexuality (its genuinely a different brain wave state to everyday consciousness) and then snap out of the haze and be like 'i need a cigarette' or 'i need a crumpet' is always wild and thrilling to me lol

so for these nerdy boys i can only imagine the vibes! i reallylllllllyyyy hope we get something for s5 i will have so much more respect for the duffers if we do, esp if it's something theyve been building to since s2 and they just shrug like 'duh, it was always them' like BRO, my heroes actually

i just had a crazy thought about mike topping will for the first few times… its gonna hurt, and mike would never be comfortable hurting will :( do you think he'll resist doing it at first or request it to be the other way around (i never thought i'd entertain that as im always a mike top truther) and will would have to encourage him he wants to, or tell mike he's experimented a little himself so not to worry?

I don't think resist is exactly accurate, but I do see for them in a realistic trajectory of their relationship once established, they'd probably wait to go all the way. Taking it slow but it's not slow in the sense that their physical relationship is slow. There's a lot else to do. A lot to try. And a lot to navigate. Learning curve. Everyone is different, mileage may vary in regards to the whole spectrum of human sexuality.

Consider the era, their home lives, lack of knowledge. But, the desire would be so real. Once working through their communication issues in the beginning, they'll get there. Maybe Mike would be hesitant, acknowledging that he does really really want Will like that, and Will wants it, too, but maybe not really knowing what to do or how to talk about it, still working through mental hangups on what a relationship between two guys truly entails. They wouldn't have all the modern resources, part of it is instinctual but also isn't. Rumor and stigma and hormones and desire and internalization all wrapped up into the situation.

Also to note - people have been having sex for the entirety of human history, of course. Same-sex intercourse of some way or another has existed for so long, too. Different forms, different shapes. But you know people have been sucking dick and plowing ass. With lack of 'resources' and information and knowledge. So, it can be figured out, of course. Characterization and setting inform everything if you're aiming for realism. Just had to tangent a little!

I go back and forth on it, but currently I'd think Will would be the one here to tell Mike that he's ready for the next step. The thing that's wonderful about Mike and Will, even if Will is someone who others maybe baby a little too much, over protective, don't believe in him - Will's even said that Mike doesn't make him feel that way. Mike doesn't treat him like he's fragile. So, they'll get there. Nervous excitement. A lot of experimenting together to work up to having fully penetrative sex. And they're big saps, they'd want that first time to be special. I don't think they'd be the type to want to just 'get it over with' and rush into anything, even if maybe once they get there it could be a spontaneous moment still. Just one they've prepared for emotionally.

Yeah, it's probably going to be uncomfortable and they're not going to be great at it at first, but that's the joy with them having each other, the trust in figuring it out together. It's a nice dynamic to explore. Not... everyone gets that 😔 I love the wild really really spicy stuff of course, but my wistful romantic heart does also like to project this narrative for them as well. Their love is really great.

[the1975attheirverybest]

oooooh fav lyrics??? fuck thats hard. i will not explain why because i want to seem somewhat cool still and not like a total fucking nerd (despite having incredibly in depth reasonings)

The 1975 - ok this is Album has some interesting lyrics because its before he had it all figured out and i fucking love it for that, theres so many fucking contenders for fav lyrics (including all of anobrain, antichrist or The city) the entire abum is just so mmmmm. but if i had to pick an absolute fav id say

"I put your mother through hell, don't you mind I hate your brother as well, don't you mind, don't you mind Oh I was thinking bout killing myself, don't you mind I love you, don't you mind, don't you mind"

and i know i know its a verse but it isnt complete otherwise. Plus i have it tattooed on me so i feel like i had to.

I Like it when you sleep for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it - once again mmm chefs kiss of an album no skips (theyve never made a bad album) and lyricaly very beautiful, i could absolutely nerd out about all of their catalogue tbh. but for this i am excluding Nana and She lays down because theyre...just perfect, and also i sob.

so it would have to be

"And if I believe you Will that make it stop? If I told you I need you Is that what you want?"

or

"Before you go (please don't go), turn the big light off"

its really easy and tempting to put ballad on here but i think thats because his performance style for it is so visceral and while lyrically its beautiful still i cant imagine myself enjoying them if they were sung by someone else because they need the guts behind it ya know.

A brief enquiry into online relationships - delicious as always matthew thank you this day for our daily bread.

so its either

"I can show you the photographs of you getting on with life I've had dreams where there's blood on you" thank you for referencing the bible matthew very cool.

or

"You build it to a high to say goodbye Because you're not the same as them" because it is like a fucking gut punch

notes on a conditional form - seasoned to perfection. difficult because Guys is on this album and its so sweet but i dont think its my fav lyrically, for no particular reason. same for roadkill although "i pissed myself on a texan intersection" always has a place in my heart.

"I'm in love, but I'm feeling low For I am just a footprint in the snow" did you need to fucking wreck me or is that just for funsies huh?

or

"Don't wanna bore you with my frail state of mind "Oh, winner, winner, that's your biggest lie I'm sure that you're fine" I haven't told a lie in quite some time (Quite some time) "You know we'll leave if you keep lying Don't lie behind your (Frail state of mind)"

Being funny in a foreign language - i take 0 slander for this album because its just as brilliant as the others. so first all of part of the band is fucking art and so im excluding it because it should be all of our favs.

"I've been suicidal, you've been gone for weeks If I'm undecided, will you decide for me?W

and

"'Cause, baby, I'll do anything that you wanna I'll try anything that you wanna I'll find myself in the moonlight 'Cause, baby, I want everything that you wanna And I've tried to just be me, like, a thousand times But you're on my mind"

sorry its so long and i couldnt pick just 1 (not a libra but still indecisive) in order to remain seeming somewhat cool and not a total nerd ive refrained from explaining each choice but yeah.

Welllllll……did you HAVE to bring up “Me” AND “Frail State of Mind”?!? Are you trying to make me cry? Cuz it’s almost working.

It’s weird I’ve always kinda thought of Oh Caroline as some of his simpler writing. Not in a bad way. Like “Me” is simple as well. Simplicity has its time and its place and can be wonderful. And it IS wonderful in Oh Caroline. But I’m a layers girlie, so maybe I haven’t been giving this one much attention *runs to listen to it*

[rowavolo]

hiiii !! 2 4 6 and 12 (if you have one) for your obey me s/i? either one! c:

hi hi hi !! :D ty for the ask wheeeee also i MUST compliment your choice of numbers here. these are lovely numbers. some of my favourites genuinely

answers under the cut i KNOW im not gonna be able to shut the hell up !! im gonna do it for angel!ro because hes funny and cool i think

2. How similar is your s/i to you? Are they a carbon copy, completely different or a mix of the two?

Hmm, a bit of a mix, really! But also I do like to try and include my little quirks/idiosyncrasies where i can for my s/is because theyre very much a way that i express myself and explore things that aren't necessarily feasible for me irl . I think the main difference is my s/is are slightly less depressed. though that may be more due to circumstance and stuff. also significantly less time spent laying in bed due to pain/fatigue. but other than that (and the obvious physical differences) I try to keep the personality and vibes pretty similar to myself in real life where i can :3

4. How did your s/i feel when they first met your f/o(s)? How do they feel about them now?

To begin with, my s/i was definitely very ... not exactly intimidated by, but sort of .. anxious around Diavolo. Due to the nature of their relationship and the arranged aspects of it, he felt a lot of pressure to get along well with Dia and be like the 'perfect' spouse, since this marriage had so much riding on it (peace between celestial realm and devildom , blah blah blah, whatever) so at first hes very quiet and anxious and just afraid to speak up or make himself a nuisance in any way, so he'd always just smile and nod along to Diavolo's suggestions and jokes and sort of 'dull down' any gruesome answers to the questions he was posed about the celestial realm (though this is also in part due to the fact that things up there are very much Not As They Seem and the angels are uhh 'strongly encouraged' not to disclose too much information)

As time goes by and he gets more comfortable, however, he lets his weirdness really shine, along with his dark sense of humour. He and Diavolo wind up going through a lot together and sort of bond over that, along with their weirdly parallel upbringings, so they become really close and painfully in love. Like. 'will only use pet names for one another and always be holding hands' levels of PDA. It's obnoxious and codependent. Diavolo absolutely dotes on Ro, and Ro definitely comes to rely on him more and more as like.. 'his person.' He becomes more comfortable with unmasking and asking Dia for help with things (and if Dia can't, then he'll ask Barbs to). Theyre like two bonded cats. if you separate them they'll get depressed and start pining and become physically ill after too long. It may be a little unhealthy but like. theyre just hanging out. they like it that way. they can spend time away from each other, they just don't often really want to. They vibe like the most stereotypical 'straight guys who do really gay stuff for the bit' but they committed fully and are so so in love. theyve been around each other so much that they basically have their own language, etc. and are just so comfy and happy around one another that its obnoxious to look at i think <3 ro loves his big silly himbo to bits and vice versa

6. Has your s/i undergone any design/story changes since they were first made?

Hmm, I'd have to say absolutely yes, but genuinely I can't think of exactly what off the top of my head. He's kind of been adjusted a bit as i've fleshed out the ~vibes~ of the way i interpret the celestial realm, he got given haunted angel cryptid lore and lack of 'flock' attraction lore (theyre intertwined also) and put through The Horrors also. he also has his own more fucked up au with even more Horrors. just like for the funny. Visually though, his design has mostly stayed the same. I'm not really a huge fan of how his outfit vibes, but i think overall i do like his Vibe and hes very silly and parallels nicely with Dia!

Though looking at the pics below i havent entirely decided how i like to draw his hair. which is like blaaahhh bleeeh bluueeueueuh

12. Can we see a picture of your s/i?

tada!!!!! silly nya nya!!!!!

[sluckythewizard]

EVERYONE GGET BAAACK IM ABT TO RAMBLE ABOUT FINN TIDESTRIDER. SPOILERS FOR EEVERYTHINGGGG ALL UP TO EP 113 YOU GOTTA RUN!! YOU GOTTA RUN AWAYYYY!!!!

ITS FASCINATING to speak to someone who has lived 80 years. almost every conversation involves me asking about a story of theirs, places theyve been, things theyve done. i feel like ive seen so much in only 20 something years of life, imagine that 4 times over?

all those stories, to have each and every one of them written down i feel like would be a beautiful thing. record keeping, storing that experience in an edible form, preserved for the future generations to study and cherish. imagine how many stories could be collected from not just 80 years of life, but 200? maybe more? imagine?

i LOVE characters that live to observe and document, keeping all their findings and knowledge and memories in tomes and records. i have several ocs that are functionally immortal, owning vast libraries holding all the knowledge of their lives. one of them is a man losing his memory, who has all his most vital memories tattooed onto his arms, so he will never forget what matters. FINN TIDESTRIDER. A MAGICIAN? WIZARD? SCIENTIST MAYBE. RESEARCHER ABSOLUTELY. CHRONICLER. LIBRARIAN. I HAD NO REAL STRUCTURE IN MIND FOR THIS POST. WHICH IS WHY ITLL SHOCK YA WHEN I BRING UP:

SEXUAL REPRESSION UNDER A CORRUPT RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATION. MORMONISM AND SOME OTHER JESUS CENTERED RELIGIONS WILL TELL YOU THAT YOUR BODY IS A SACRED THING. MASTURBATION IS EVIL, IT CORRUPTS YOUR BODY, WHICH SHOULD BE SAVED FOR MARRIAGE. CELIBACY PRESERVES YOUR BODY, FOR YOUR ONE AND ONLY LIFE PARTNER. SEX IS NOT AN ACTIVITY, IT IS SACRED, RESERVED ONLY FOR PROCREATION.

i dont know if the undersea is Perfectly comparable to religions like that, but it is certainly a culture that upholds a very 'the elders are always right and must be followed'. polygamy is punishable by death, releasing spawn is a natural step after marriage, etc etc, i wouldnt be surprised to find that the undersea has a crazy Purity Culture thing going on. to live your whole long life down there, where so much is forbidden, and finally breaking into the surface world to explore the unknown, who knew your own body would be part of that 'unknown'?

in that episode, in the uh. Book. he says 'his first man was a (shiphand)' or whatever idk i dont feel like relistening. but HIS FIRST MAN!! ur telling me Finn Sexguy Tidestrider wasnt banging dudes down in the undersea?? maybe hes just talkin about his first Human but whateeverrrr. is homophobia a thing in the undersea?? i guess itll be a while before we know.

EITHER WAY. to break free from an oppressive climate and finally having the chance to be sexually free. to finally be familiar with your own body and the bodies of others, to LEARN so much about what makes you and others tick, to experience a unique form of intimacy with another. while having sex is not a VITAL experience, to have the freedom and choice to explore that IS SO IMPORTANT...

sex isnt a disgusting thing, its not wrong and its not naughty its not sinful its not gross. but sex also is not sacred, its not a big important thing, its not vital. sex is JUST an activity. a fun thing to do with ur homies or someone youre close to. there are dangers of course, which is why KNOWLEDGE about it is such an important thing. ohhh my god i constantly have a huge ramble locked n loaded about sexual education but ill GET INTO THAT ANOTHER TIME.

TLDR i reaally like finn tidestrider because TO ME, he is not just a wacky funny old sex-having wizard. hes a man who lived a looong fuckin time under a religious climate that discouraged sexual exploration, and after he left, got to spend decades and decades of being FREE to explore. in MY heart.

i get like, haha funny old man yaoi, the shock of the old guy havin sloppy gay fuck sex, but yknow. i dont expect it but it would be neat i think if this sorta thing would ever be taken seriously and explored.

THE TIDESTRIDERS FASCINATE ME. for finn to say YES i LOVE having SEX all the TIME; and for gill to say NO i am NOT interested in sex EVER.. those are BOTH forms of sexual freedom. its the choice!! THE CHOICE!!!!

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

theres a lot of different ways people have illustrated the greed and evil of billionaires from visual portrayals of how big a billion actually is to comparing their philanthropy and how much money they have to highlighting the sufferings of those theyve exploited, and theyre all great demonstrations in of themselves.

but one i dont see quite as often is comparing the charitable works of every day people to that of billionaires. i think part of it is that a billionaire can donate more money to charity in one click of a finger than i can in my entire life, but i think another part is a combination of not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth while also not wanting to rock the boat.

a great example of that is the fact that you cant criticise mr beast/jimmy donaldson without people pushing it aside with the notion of "hes helping people" or "the guy could cure cancer and youd find something to criticise about it", which are endlessly frustrating and engaging with your criticism in bad faith.

but outside of him, youll see versions of it across the board for any philanthropic rich person. people automatically assume your criticism is coming from a cynical point of view, and often that you dont ever take part in charitable acts yourself.

and it is endlessly frustrating to run into that attitude every damn time like youre a dog running into that same glass door. because there is very valid criticism to be made about it.

because most of the time, these people could use that money to make lasting structural changes. i mean, the UN estimates you could end world hunger with $6billion, but no billionaires attempted to. on a smaller scale, you can build shelters or youth hubs or rehab facilities, or you could invest in ongoing work to help people out of poverty or improve local education or help people get better healthcare. or even just put your money where your mouth is and financially back the people trying to make these structural changes.

but these so-called philanthropists dont because systematic changes arent what they actually want. theyre this rich because of the system.

and their philanthropy is a form of propaganda; they want you to think the system is unchangeable and that your only options for improving your life is working yourself to the bone or for some kindly rich person to take pity on you and just hand you the money you need. the system is fucked, but the rich are good people who just want to help. this isnt some hot take, ro ramdin made a great video about mr beast specifically regarding this sort of thing. müne cat also has a video about it which is basically a 30 minute rant from her stream.

i know why you dont see the comparison of billionaire philanthropy to every day charity that often, and its because you have to preface the entire thing with the explanation that i just had to make, because most people dont want to think further than "give money to charity is good". i think part of that is people not realising everything is political, but thats a discussion for a different post.

originally, i started writing this just to get something out of my head. two days ago, i asked my mom if she still had the trumpet i accidentally stole from school (long short story) because id been thinking about the fact like, i could flog that for £200 and £200s a good bit of money. during the conversation, it came up that one of our neighbours had bought an empty guitar case from a charity shop for a fancy dress party, and all thoughts of flogging it were suddenly gone from my mind.

because it reminded me that i could donate it to a charity shop or find a local musical program aimed towards giving poorer kids a chance to learn how to play an instrument. and like, how could i flog it when i could do just a little bit of good with it.

a similar thing happened with these big marvel pictures i had in my room as a teenager. idk how much money theyd go for but they werent cheap when we bought them. but then my mom found this local charity where you could donate items that theyd then auction off and that money went directly to the local foodbank, and so thats where they went.

and this isnt for me to be like hey how good of a person i am; i do not give a shit about that. its about the fact that this mindset is directly opposed to that of billionaires and to neoliberalism in general.

you cant earn a billion dollars by being a good person, we all know that. but i do think a great illustration of it is to compare those billionaires with the people who run your local food bank or run charity drives or the people who put free period products in public bathrooms or the local deli owner who lets unhoused people eat for free.